#anyways i need sleep im fucking exhausted

[cowboy-robooty]

i dont got a gaurdian angel or devil on my shoulder but i do imagine grandad (robert freeman) from the boondocks reacting to everything around me

#been like this for like two months now or something #everytime im too exhausted to get up but am like 'i need to get up to eat dinner' i hear grandads voice like #'have sleep for dinner youre getting fat anyway' #that sounds bad it sounds like i have an eating disorder or some shit that is not true. i love to eat im monkey d luffy irl and its not a #joke. me and wiener are fucking beasts we will go 20 minutes without eating and go gawd... im so hungry rn... #but sometime my demon of a bed traps me like quicksand again and im like i need to eat food.. but god sleep feels so good.... #i love the have sleep for dinner youre getting fat anyway line okay it makes me laugh so fucking hard riley be starving af #pretty boy flizzy episode 😍😍😍 #i think about the allowance line too all the fuckin time #you want an allowance? i ALLOW you to eat my food. i ALLOW you to burn my electricity. i ALLOW you to sleep in my bed! #robert freeman is so deadass i love him especially when he thought riley was gay and heard tom say all the good things about gay people and #and went 'damn thats a lot of good shit... nah still gotta disown him' #LOL #grandad was not rockin wit that gangstalicious manbag

[mango-parfait]

Got stared at by a group of old men in a van while I was heading home. and I aggressively said "what the fuck are you looking at?" In three different languages.

I didn't know their windows were rolled down. 😎👍

#one of the things my brain does when you can speak more than one language LOL #anyway WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT #KEEP FUCKING DRIVINF #mango rants #im overwhelmed and exhausted i need to sleep for 12 hours

[hella1975]

i literally NEVER have ideas for soft soukoku even though it's my favourite thing to read in bsd fics bc alas dazai and chuuya are Like That and don't know how to be normal, but like what if chuuya struggles to sleep bc of his ability? what if it's normally manageable but some big event is giving him nightmares? what if when he has these nightmares, his ability automatically goes haywire and he winds up spending a fortune on repairs for everything he keeps breaking in his room? what if after a few days of sleeplessness he's finally out of it enough to genuinely consider asking dazai for help? what if dazai agrees to use no longer human while chuuya sleeps as a JOKE bc 'awww if you're missing me you can just say so~' but dazai finds it helps with his insomnia just as much? what if chuuya waits for the humiliation he knows is going to come from dazai telling everyone about his moment of weakness, waits for dazai to make him regret it, but it never comes? what if that fragile trust between them that got destroyed when dazai left flickers back to life again in these moments when it's just them in the darkness? what if it becomes a mutual agreement, a very reluctant 'this helps both of us' that neither of them are happy about that slowly grows into something more? something they begin to like? something they perhaps even look forward to? what if-

#me looking at the state chuuya and dazai's relationship is in: sex wont cut it you two need to hold each other #hi i dont know where this idea came from but it's plaguing me and i really want to write it #yes im touch starved yes 'literal sleeping together' is one of my favourite tropes keep scrolling #bonus points if the reason chuuya got the idea to ask dazai to sleep with him was bc it's something he had to do when he was younger #when his ability was a lot more out of control but also when there was a lot more trust between him and dazai #('trust' is used in soukoku terms. to a bystander it's all very fucked up and complicated but it makes sense to them) #however now dazai's in the ada and chuuya's in the port mafia and he HATES dazai #but shit chuuya has not slept in DAYS he's practically delusional at this point and very very desperate #like have you ever gone even two days without sleeping? it makes you crazy and if the idea of dazai's ability helping him sleep #was already in chuuya's brain bc they've done it before then i GUARANTEE it would not be far-fetched for him to resort to it again #and dazai agrees purely to make fun of chuuya and exploit a weakness bc this is dazai we're talking about #and if there's one thing i love it's realistic soukoku portrayal where they actually have to work really hard from a shitty start point #but still chuuya is just fucking EXHAUSTED and he doesnt care about the teasing or backlash at this point so he calls anyway #and dazai is there #and the joke gets immediately turned on HIM bc it's the 'best sleep ive had in years' trope and dazai's like SHIT #the entp has harmed himself in his own attack #hmmmmmmmm thinking #bsd #soukoku

[onepiexe]

was abt to go to sleep and boom

#logbook #two booms actually. the door wasnt locked snd theres a thunderstorm over me now. #usually wouldnt freak me out but my anxiety is high 2nite for whatever reason. plus double checking the locks snd being like #oh wow good thing i have paranoia that wont let me sleep until i do a full sweep of the house TWICE caught my parents not locking up #im planning to go to hl tmrw. which means i need to sleep so i can be gone at 6am. #it sounds like its hailing.?? wtf #its literally hailing and also theres maybe tornadoes. . .how am i supposed to sleep now. . . #i felt like i shouldve worked today but i didnt bc im an idiot and exhausted and had a really bad night on mon. #going to the bathroom again and then setting my alarm to be nice to myself and going the fuck to bed. #if theres a change in weather my parents will be coming home. wby did they go out tonight lol. . . #anyways gn. stay safe guys.

[southislandwren]

I deeply love the freshman but she just called twice to ask if could jump her car at a location 30 minute drive away, I am pajama’d and blind in bed . No I cannot dedicate over an hour of time when it’s already my bedtime because surprise, I wake up at fuckin 4:25 am 🙃

NO FUCKING WAY was I awake typing this godforsaken post and my other friend called me for 30 MINUTES!!!!! You fuckheads I work on a farm do not contact me after 7:30!!!! Arggghhhhhh okay goodnight and anyone else who calls me is NOT getting an answer I am asleep GOODNIGHT !!!!

#and last night I got like 5 hours of sleep and I didn’t take a nap today. I shouldn’t be fucking driving anyway because I’m SLEEPY sleepy #I was like give me 30-40 minutes and she was like uhhh I will call some other people… yeah do that . #like if I do go for a drive this weekend I’ll still invite her but I’m getting a little sick of her antics #diary post #ugh. anyway if you find this E I do deeply love you fr but I told you I wasn’t going to be a good friend this summer #and I didn’t mean like teehee I can only hang out on Saturdays #I meant the likelihood I text back or see you in person more than twice a month is VERY low #and yeah this is on me for picking a stupid fucking job but like. I need to be sick of farming before I head to a city for 5+ years #I am exhausted down to my core. I relapsed in my bad habit on Saturday. I am barely functioning. #I don’t think I’ve eaten anything that’s not fruit or dairy products in the past 3 days. I am desperately waiting for an incident at work. #begging to the universe to let me get kicked in the head or something so I can have a few fucking days off PLEASE #anyway goodnight. now im all wound up and I’ll get another 5 hours of sleep #also ironic the second friend who called me was gossiping abt this guy at work that should just shut up sometimes #and im sitting there on the other side of the phone YAWNING after picking up and answering I am already in bed #and my friend is still rambling on about stupid inane work bullshit that I do not care about. #okay goodnight for real. I hate everything

[possum-tooth]

god. jury duty tomorrow morning

#WHO decided i have to BE THERE. at 8:30 in the fucking morning. #im gonna be soooooo scared im gonna be a shaking kitten #ik where im going but once i get into the building? no clue. i just know i need to get to the second floor but if i take stairs ill be #panting and sweating even more than i already know ill be 😭😭 #i kinda really hope they dismiss me bc this is so much for my feeble brain and body. maybe try again in a couple of years #anyway. happy thursday im exhausted and i Should be sleeping or at least in bed but. :) #talk tag

[the-kipsabian]

i just have the permanent idea in my head that ppl dont like me and theres nothing i can do about it

#past trauma etc etc #plus stuff that went down yesterday so im like. i dont fit in with other people. im too different im too weird im a fuck up #anyways. i need to sleep my head hurts. would possibly like to wake up to some cutes or something nice or whatever #i dont know anymore. existing is exhausting #night is an absolute mess on main

[astrxealis]

i am so exhausted i barely have anything to do for the rest of the school year as in. just a few more projects. and then done. but i'm already Finished af. anyway i hope you all are okay, take care okay <3

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #RAGHHHHhhhhhh ..... i have napped an abnormal amount (personally) the last few days #the exhaustion of. everything ig is getting to me. sobs #uh... i'll finish this one hw and then my parts for this group task and then the test is. ?? #notes to myself sorry but i won't even look back to this ik but yeah. #so. message group mates tomorrow for those two tasks. one in the morning b4 class one during free period #i have to deal w the thesis presentation stuff too wtvr the fuck's going on i hope everything will be alright #after this one hw and then my parts for that ... recheck them ofc but afterwards. #nah i should sleep after that... at T__T anyway my goal is to finish basically everything that i can do by tomorrow. which is doable i think #should fix my sleep sched esp b4 june... review for june... follow daily routine everyday properly... #okay. finish this one task finish parts for that one other task. and recheck both. #sleep and message groupmates in the morning. present. message and discuss with other groupmates during free period. #by then i only have... two tasks left for the whole school year + one quiz later. but i gotta fix up thesis stuff w group #alr. okay. i got that. #and i'll work on as much as i can tomorrow (and if i need to. lay off a bit/rest. until sunday) #hopefully hang out with friend on monday. concert on thursday. last day friday #i won't think about reviewing just yet until i finish my #priorities but i need to make sure im at my fucking best then and in advance #anyway hi ... i dont think anyone will read this which idm at all bcs why would you #but if u did uhm hi. hello. have a good day LMFAO i hope everyone has a good day or night or whatever aaa i go now..... sobs #i am very exhausted i think esp since i dont think ive had a proper rest in Ages. and by ages i really mean ages #i dont like napping i dont like wasting time i try to wake at a certain time but often fail but still distrupt sleep #uh i let myself rest on sundays only when going out but it's Going Out and not. just relaxing and doing literally nothing. never #negative thoughts begone!! i refuse to entertain them for now lmfao #there's a lot i want to get to and a lot i need to do but i'll focus on what i need to

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#my desire to b productive vs my desire to create horribly earnest narut0 drawings #its just. i have a scene in my head that's like way too complicated to draw. but im gonna draw it anyway #and its gonna haunt me bc the dialogue is clunky. but whatever im gonna do it. this weekend. that is #i said id work on more writing school stuff today but ah i didn't sleep much and i did lots of focusing all day so like #brain is sorta mush now #snd all i can thibk abt is how much i lov 1ruka being narut0s number one dad brother #i just want to create a million scenarios where 1ruka cries over how much of a good kid narut0 is and how much bullshit he has to deal with #i just want someone to feel that pain for him. i mean. i guess thats s4sukes deal. but it feels different coming from a parent #from 1ruka it feels more. i wanna protect u. and from s4suke it feels more. i understand. lets destroy the world together. make them pay #they r the true ultimate narut0 stans. narut0 defense squad. everyone else back the fuck off #k4kashi is a 2nd teir stan. only bc hes got his own weird bullshit in canon. in my head hes also on the narut0 elite defense squad #wtf am i talking abt. ugh i need to sleep. i have to talk to ppl tomorrow. ugh no i should work on stuff #agh. fucj it maybe ill just wake up at like 5am and work on it then. and shift into proper work mode at 9 or whatever #blah. i now understand why i was feeling so like normal before this. its bc i was well rested lmao. im not at familiar levels of #exhausted unstabled energy. lov that for me #unrelated

[pepprs]

like . omg i know i need to stop POSTINGGGG but god thinking abt the argument w my parents last night and all the implications of it hurts so bad it’s unreal it hurts literally so bad. and it is ruining my life in so many ways and ive been fighting back tears all day bc of it. Lol

#purrs #i think im a burden to everyone and that everyone thinks im stupid and young and naïve entitled selfish annoying etc etc but really it’s #just my parents who think that and the fact that they do means that there is something fundamentally wrong with me so i carry that into #every relationship im in and isolate myself and hold back from saying how i feel and setting boundaries and i am so sad and tired all the #time that i never talk to anyone and i beat myself up for making mistakes and for having thoughts and feelings and i hurt the people who #love me by denying myself to them and not believing in their love and it fucking sucks and i hate that i will never fully recover from the #damage and i hate that the damage is over the STUPIDEST fucking shit in the whole world that is literaly nothing compared to some of the #horrors in the human experience like it’s just 2 bad fights with my mom and my brother being born and my grandma dying and how my mom did or #did not parent me 100% to her best ability during all of those moments and suddenly im fucked in the head for life over DUST BUNNIES. over #DRYER LINT. CRUMBS! specks of dirt. like are you kidding me. catapulting myself into the nearest viper pit rn i think. but also it’s 1:30 am #and i am working tomorrow and ive had an exhausting soul crushing week and i need to go to bed and i am running away from everyone and #everything in my life and it just is a hard time to be a person right now anyway so like maybe i need to just go to sleep and reblog some #posts and play animal crossing in all my free time and throw my phone into the river and be normal for 2 seconds. ok. #* 3 bad fights w my mom. but also a lot more but especially those 3 ♥️

[wastelandbabyblue]

what if I actually go insane. on purpose

#this isn't stunt related im just very very depressed #this week has been exhausting my emotions are all over the place #i get like 10 minutes of my brain being ok and then the next 5 hours is Suffering Time #I've been amxious and sad and crying and then numb and fine all back to back in the spam of an hour #and I'm EXHAUSTED #and i can't even sleep all day to pretend i don't fucking exist because i can't!! my brain won't let me!! it's very fun #anyways ignore this i just needed to vent a little cause it hasn't been this bad in so long and im just tired #i wish i could just be normal #I've been trying to distract myself with st all day but nothing works and nothing is enough #the only thing that helps a little is writing about it #which i did i got myself a little notebook just for that lol its a very sad notebook I'll tell you #so i thought that i would write a little more here and see if my brain gives me a moment of rest

[candyradium]

survival singleplayer 1.19 update: traveled far and wide to find a mangrove swamp (there was one out by my industrial district). finished building the barn in survival. went searching for pillager outposts and woodland mansions to get allays and FINALLY found some. now tomorrow i gotta tackle the task of transporting these bad boys back home

#candy posts #i have. no idea if i can elytra and have them follow me still #i didn't bring leads bc im a dumbass :( #i also got 2 totems from the singular mansion (got map from cartographer) #but also died twice in the process (ironically before i got the totems. i didn't get close to death after that) #(probably bc i got fed up and brewed up some strength and regen to go ham with) #anyway yeah i got allays now. two of em. i need to name my little boys. my sons #alas im too fucking exhausted to do that rn so. it shall wait #candy plays minecraft #ill probably post a screenshot of the barn tomorrow as well (maybe once ive done the interior) cause im actually pretty proud #for now tho. i sleep

[piplupod]

,

#i gotta get out of this fucking house lmfao #my sister just informed me that she might move down here over the summer #bitch!!! i hope u split the rent w me then!!!! idk why i get no say in this lmfao! #also one of my brothers wants to move in too and mum told me I would have to move all my shit to a different room #so he could have this rec room #and then i would move my stuff into the fucking laundry room #i need to get out of here bc i am being shoved around and disregarded and just stepped all over #i cant fucking do this lmfao i dislike all of my family except for dad and the brother who ISNT wanting to move in #i also cannot stand living Literally Under my parents anymore!!! i am on edge and paranoid constantly! #fucking exhausted!!! #sister had a party last night that went til 12 directly next to my bedroom on the deck outside so #i didnt get to fall asleep around 3 bc of fucking anxiety #and i usually go to sleep at 10 so! i am half alive today #anyways. sorry. i just. i cant do this lmfao. im screaming into the void bc i am going to explode otherwise #i wish i had A Single friend in this entire goddamn country. i am so fucking isolated and i hate it here #i wish i was american lmfao yall actually can travel and visit each other. fucking tired of this isolation #mother mention #father mention #brother mention #sister mention #abuse tw #idk if i need anything else esp since its jujudt in the tags but lmk

[orcelito]

Trying out this new thing called "don't think about my life after tiring shifts" bc how I feel at these times does not reflect how I feel at the average moment & so it brings me more peace if I Don't Fucking Think About It

#speculation nation #bc it ends up just being a horrid cycle of 'i hate my fucking life' and 'i need to get out of here'. on repeat. #which Yea i fucking do need to get out of here lmao but i dont hate my life that much In General #in the average moment i do like this job. aka why im still here after everything. #thinking about it at times like this just fills me with hopeless despair & i do not enjoy that. #days like today are outliers. & now that it's over i wont have to worry about it for another year. #just gotta take my days as they come and not worry about it #& make sure i keep up with my fucking school work bc thats what's the fucking hold up at the end of it all #someday i will graduate. and i will finally move onto greener pastures. #until then i refuse to stew in self pity. #and so i make a tumblr post about it instead of sleeping bc i still wanted to complain i guess lmao #negative/ #can you guys tell im tired lol. today fucking sucked. #couldve been worse! some parts were fun. but the bone deep exhaustion definitely overshadows that. #i got to eat dip n dots today tho. thats smth nice! #and also shitty bbq pizza. bc that's all they had left. i dont even LIKE bbq #the little bit i walked around was just long fucking lines and too loud of music. and lackluster pizza & breadsticks. #but it was food & it got me through. so like it's whatever in the end. #& i got to eat dip n dots. ive always loved those things. gotta count my blessings where they are... #anyways im going to sleep now for real this time. Good Night

[nabaath-areng]

Does anyone else ever get such intense and overwhelming pain out of nowhere that they lose both their hearing and vision for a good long moment and collapse on the floor completely and utterly drenched in cold sweat only for it to go away after a while like it was never there in the first place or is it just me haha

#this exact type of pain was new to me but the general process happens every now and then #im in constant pain and so my tolerance is very very high #which means i freak out once it gets to the point where i cant hide it #cause it has to get so far to get to that point #anyway this is not related to anything #dont mind me #i had company which helped but i still feel kinda fucked up about it #and i dont dare sleeping even though im exhausted now #i need a rambling tag i think

[barredandromeda]

i hate change id rather die

#people arent sticking to their usual selves stop messing w my mind #havent talked to some friends in a while and theyre wildly dif and its making me so irritated can we go back to how we were before #my obsession of waiting by the phone until someone messages me first is coming back in the worst way possible #the coincidences with k stopped and i barely even see him anymore and his clothing style is changing??? #hes becoming more normal popular whatever and its so boring please i need a loser boy go back to being that #mb i cant sleep and feelings are coming back but in a weirder way and i have like 2 projects due tmr im not done w and test #i need more friends but in the way of being irl that i can wave at during school and send them videos without talking fr #serenity wake up and come home bro literally ditch school just for me 🙏 believe in u bbg #omg sid is coming back tmr thank god i need my daily walks w him i literally tried w another guy today and it was not the same #bro was yapping ab love whatever idek 😭 told me ab his crushes which good for him ig but i barely know him idc 🙏 #insta wants me to stop liking k too cause it deleted all my past stories ab him when i tried to make a highlight #is it so hard to have everyone obsessed with me all the time. cant people just pay attention to me forever #i forgot what i said in this post whatever im deleting it later anyway #post #erics tag #delete later #cringingg that people know stuff ab me and why i am the way i am. maybe they should all die so it becomes a secret again #literally why did i ever talk anything out with anyone other than serenity thats so fucking stupid no shit shes the only good one #thats a lie i love attention i just hate asking for it i cant even be bothered to say more bro im so exhausted but not in a sleeping way yk #kindividual posting