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#anyways Idk why I’m even saying this like I doubt any of you guys care lol
talas-starlight · 1 month
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Scarred Spirits - Zuko x fem!reader (pt.7)
Summary: reactions from team avatar when they find out your ozais assassin
warning: mentions of scars, not very happy gaang, mean katara!, angst
masterlist: here!
most previous part: here! (all other parts can be found in my masterlist!)
authors note! hello!! idk if anyone will be reading this but if you are welcome!! i haven't posted to this series in YEARS so please forgive me as I'm very rusty at writing but please enjoy!
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Unified screams erupted upon Appa. “YOU’RE WHAT!”
“Aang what have you done! You literally let a murderer on Appa! She’s going to kill all of us! Katara was right, and I can’t believe I ignored her.”
“I KNEW IT! Quickly Aang, land Appa and let’s get her off!”
Unable to take it anymore, Toph lost her cool. “Can you knuckle heads shut up! I highly doubt that she will kill us, why the hell would she listen to you guys fighting all the time when she could end her misery by taking you out.”
Reality hitting Sokka and Katara, they finally piped down, allowing Toph to continue.
“Look, what you said is highly questionable. I’m not saying that I trust you, but you’re going to have to give us more information than that or else I’ll throw you off myself. Got it?”
You sighed. At least someone in the group had more sense. “Yeah, of course. What would you like to know?”
“Well for starters a name would be great. Oh and maybe, I don’t know, how and why you’re the Fire Lords Assassin?!”
You almost wanted to pull Katara’s braid for the irritating look of satisfaction on her face. “Right okay… well my name is y/n. uhhh and I was forced to become his assassin when he caught me after I broke into the palace three years ago.”
“That’s it?! Nuh uh lady. I know he’s the Fire Lord and had done some awful things but why would he do that to a child?! You’re either lying or somethings still missing.”
There was a lot to weigh up. To suddenly reveal everything about you would be too much and would get you thrown off Appa anyway. Yet to reveal nothing wouldn’t let you gain enough trust to even last a day. Leaving you to share the one thing you knew so little about yourself that you didn’t care if they knew and hopefully enough of a miserable, pitying tale that they’d let you off the hook for the time being.
“My parents aren’t in my life, they never were. I don’t know who they were or why they did it. All I had was my trainer, Zemin. In his time, he was the most notorious Assassin in the entire Fire Nation and when he retired, he never took on any students to carry on his legacy - if you could even call it that. Every other trainer was ecstatic because this meant that their students would earn the most bounties. Until there was me. I don’t know why he took me in… he just said that he found me as in infant and regretfully took me from an islands rocky shore maybe to sell me off somewhere. I suppose he realised he could make even more money from me if he trained me until I could pay off debt for him raising me. I did the one thing assassins could do, kill. All the money I ever earned from each bounty went straight to him. Luckily enough, I learned quickly, and I got to my final payment when I was 13, then he would have set me free.”
Horrified, Aang couldn’t believe what he was hearing. There was nothing like this in the Air Temples growing up. “Luckily enough?! How in any universe is that lucky!”
“Most assassins in the Fire Nation, and others, are stuck paying off their guardians or trainers well into their adulthood. Because of… certain tactics and advantages, I became quite popular if you could put it that way and most of the people, I had to take care of were…” Halting, you knew that if you verbally said some lives are worth more than others, Aang would probably go into cardiac arrest.
“Well, some had more people wanting them gone so the bounty was higher.”
“How does this have anything to do with you working for the fire lord! I don’t see why Zemin would let you go if you were doing so much for him.”
Your strength was fading. You hated yourself for how much you scretly enjoyed having people around that weren’t as idealistic as those in the Fire Nation.  “He didn’t. I got an anonymous mission to take out a high general in the palace. So high, that it was going to be enough for me to finish my debt.” After not being met with screams you felt reassured to continue…. they seem to be taking this well…
You took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “On my way out, I got caught in the middle of an Agni Kai. The fire lord wasn’t too pleased I killed one of his generals or interfered with punishing his son. Yet somehow in his psychopathic mind he saw it as an opportunity to pledge my allegiance to him.”
The silence amongst the group was short lived.
“YOU MEAN ZUKO?”
“YOU KILLED SOMEONE.”
“AND YOU ACCEPTED?”
You scrunched your face. Maybe this was a bad idea to tell them. But it was too late to go back. “Yes, it was Prince Zuko in the Agni Kai, that’s how he got his scar. Yes, Aang I did kill the general, but to be fair I haven’t killed anyone since then… And Katara if you were being tortured every day for 8 months, I’m sure you would wear down too.”
The waterbender was unsatisfied with your answer. “Unbelievable! Of course, you did! Everyone has a choice in this world, and you chose the fire lord. You’re nothing but a coward.”
“My life was on the line! You don’t know anything about me.”
“Oh please, y/n. I do. I know everything! Sure, you were raised to assassinate others, but you can’t expect me to believe you didn’t know what you were doing when you were standing before Ozai. I would have stayed in a life of suffering than go with him.” Shaking her head, she pierces you with a disgusted look, “You’re no better than Ozai. No better than Azula.”
As Appa continued to glide through the ever-ending expanse of the sky, it seemed nothing could break the suffocating tension that encompassed everyone upon his saddle.
Toph was the only one to speak up. “Didn’t you hear her Katara? She hasn’t killed anyone since then! She’s surviving. If you ask me… she’s braver than any of us, you never know what could have happened to her if she got caught not actually killing her targets!”
Irritated Katara only grumbled, turning away while leaving the two boys to think about how they felt about you. Despite giving them answers, they still had so many questions.
It was undeniably clear that Katara has made her mind up about you, and you were sure everyone else was the same despite the earth benders attempts at comforting you. Hence, as you sat there across from the four of them, you were the first to break eye contact, turning your head to the side as you searched for something to focus on out there in the sky. Bird, a cloud, anything. You didn’t have the heart, the courage, to argue against what she said.
Unknown to you, Aang shuffled closer to you scared that his angry friend might hear him going towards you. His words only just loud enough to hear above the wind he whispered to you… “Its okay y/n. I don’t really understand what you’ve done or what you’ve been through but when youre ready.. you can tell us.
That was the first time your heart ignited a comforting warmth.
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As Appas soft paws skilfully landing on the hard earth, you felt your heart drop inside you. What do I do now? Mind racing through all the possibilities, Toph seemed to have decided what to do before you could even stand.
“Hey! Come with me.”
Jumping off Appas saddle you landed on your feet with such a skilled silence, Toph had to sense your heartbeat to even realise you were next to her. Setting off towards where she’d set up her sleeping area, it was best you stuck closely behind.
“Don’t think about what Katara said, she doesn’t get it.”
“How so?”
Stalling in her tracks, she turned her unseeing gaze towards you. “She doesn’t know what its like to be born into a life that you don’t want. And she definitely doesn’t know how hard it can be trying to escape it.”
Unsure with how to reply, humming in understanding was the best you could come up with.
“Just stick with me and you’ll be fine. I know you most certainly don’t need me, but I’ve got your back.”
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The next day had gone by agonizingly slow. With Toph trying to teach Aang earth bending you were left to your own devices since Katara decided to tag along. Although you found yourself tailing Sokka as he went his own way looking for food unaware of your silent giggles seeing him get stuck in the ground.
“...big things eat smaller things. Nothing personal. But this time, it didn’t work out that way…I admit it, you’re cute…”
You decide to finally reveal yourself, tired of your lack of entertainment. “What are you doing down there Sokka?”
Letting out a girl like squeal, he’s horrified at getting caught in this position. “Nothing!”
“You look like you could use some help.”
“I don’t want help from you!” You dismiss it. Surely he has no other choice but to make himself acquainted with you.
“Yeah, right. It’s funny, you’re probably the third person that has ever said that to me. The second in about the span of 48 hours.” you cant help but divert your attention towards the cute animal annoying him. “Aweee look at this cutie!”
“Get away from it!”
“Why should I do that?”
“Because I don’t want you to hurt it!”
“Please, I actually quite like animals. They’re a lot better than humans anyway.”
“I- well… fine! Just go away?”
You scoff, “Why’s that?”
“I don’t like you!”
“Hmm… is that so.”
“Yes, of course it is!”
You’re done feeling sorry for yourself. “Are you sure you don’t like me, or do you feel that way because of your sister?”
“I- well… argh! Fine! I don’t know.”
“Well… why don’t you talk to me and work it out for yourself? If you still dislike me so much I’ll leave you be and get someone to come help.”
A  silence fills the distance between the two of you.
He sighs, caving in, “So.. this Zemin guy. Did he REALLY not give you a choice?”
Looking up, you stare at the clear sky. “I learnt early on in my training that I didn’t have a choice or options in life other than what he wanted. Any exercise I rushed through, half assed, or tried to skip through when he wasn’t looking came with consequences.”
“What kind of consequences?”
“The kind that keeps all of my clothing and bindings on so I don’t constantly get pitiful looks or too many questions.”
He scoffs, “prove it”
Staring at all your layers you sigh, “don’t say I never warned you.”
Peeling off all your layers one by one until your down to just your tank top and pants, you decide to take off your face mask last. Your eyes meeting Sokka’s, you notice him swallow thickly. But its you to break the ice first. “In all fairness, most of them are now from Ozai. The older they look… well I’m sure you can work it out for yourself.”
“b-but-“Fuck why did I have to make him uncomfortable.
Unable to take it any longer, you pull him out from the hole in the ground. “Its fine.”
You turn to walk away after helping him, but he grabs your scarred wrist, the feeling of the textured skin making him internally wince. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made you expose yourself like that. Its horrible that you had to experience that… hell we look the same age!”
“Everyone is on different paths. Look, lets just forget about it..”
Sokka feels like he could bust into tears “No! you don’t understand. I’ve seen the effects of the fire nation… hell they took away my mum. I still remember it, sometimes I have weeks where I keep reliving it in my nightmares, only finding peace when im awake. Its like im being haunted. But- but you?! You have to face it whether you’re awake or asleep”.
Squeezing your eyes shut, you can’t handle the intensity of his words. Theres nothing you can do. Nothing you can say. You hug him. You don’t remember the last time you held someone. It feels weird, almost wrong. But as he squeezes you back, tightening the embrace, you understand one thing. You have an understanding with the water tribe boy, despite how dark it may feel.
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Hours pass by as you sit with sokka talking about useless topics until the other three join you once more. Feeling weariness in their gaze, you realise you forgot to put your layers back on. Now everyone can see your face and scars.
Only Aang has the courage to speak with you.
“Hey. Uhhh, y/n?”
“Yeah?”
“I just… I’m sorry for not speaking much with you since yesterday. I didn’t mean to, it was just a lot to process personally! Growing up with the Air Nomads, I was taught that killing is wrong and that under no circumstance should that be the answer. If I’m completely honest with you, I still stand by those teachings and to have someone who has… killed… so close to me and the people I care the most about is… unsettling.”
There it was. You knew despite how much he was trying; you knew he wouldn’t be able to see past what you did. What you are.
“I understand. I don’t blame you, or anyone for reacting the way they are, and I know what it feels like to want to protect those who mean something to you.” You glance at Sokka, remembering how he understood.
“Just… please understand that I’ve realised what I did was wrong and while I can’t change everything that I have done, I’m trying to move away from that way of life. I don’t want to be a killer anymore. I’m trying my best to fix it.”
“I know…. Its just-“
“You don’t trust me.”
“What?! NO! I mean…. I don’t know. You clearly have good inside of you but it’s hard to look past.”
“I get it. I’ll head off then, the world needs you Aang and I won’t be the one to stand it your way.”
“No! stop! Please! I know I said it’s hard for me to do, but I clearly see you trying your best. I know you won’t hurt me. I just… I suppose I need to open my eyes more. See you for who you are now, what you’re doing now.”
But what if you can’t? What if I’m still that person, no matter how much I try to shove it away. This is what I have been made to become?
“Okay.”
Letting out a nervous quiet laugh, he glances back to everyone. “okay well… lets eat!”
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Zuko stares at the sky in the heavy downpour. “You always through everything you could at me. Well, I can take it. And now I can give it back!”
Lightning cacks in the sky before his eyes.
“Come on!”
“Strike me! You never held back before!”
Met with only the sound of the world around him, he feels helpless. Lost. Alone.
Screaming out, Zuko falls to his knees as the rain and guilt encompasses all of his senses.
His voice scratchy from screaming, he can hardly croak out… “You never held back from her."
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taglist: ​​ @mangoberry43​​ @eridanuswave​​ @slythergirlimagines ​​​ @whiskeywinter89​​ @simplyfandomish @khaleesi-of-assassins​ ​ ​ @calciumcow @ilovespideyyy @callums-keith @nnon-it-up @blackhood5sos @chewymoustachio @tiffy119 @reclusive-chicken-nugget @lozzybowe​ @scarletemeterio​​ @simpinforsukka​ ​ ​ @sokkassuki​ @spearbatty @kaylove12
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maggie-atwood · 2 months
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“You can take care of me…if you want.”
@febuwhump Day 5: Rope Burns
Fandom: The Walking Dead (TV)
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader
Era: Time Jump (S9)
Word Count: 1.1k
Warnings: canon-typical violence, injuries
A/N: I’m not 100% in love with this one. Please let me know what you think! Also i had to post this one from my phone, so idk what happened to some of the formatting 🤦🏼‍♀️ pretend it’s perfect
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“They’re back! Open the gate!”
A crowd of Alexandrians rush to the front gate as it’s dragged open. Behind it, Daryl and Michonne are walking up, with all of the missing children. You smile, but it quickly fades as you take in your friends: after the kids run to their parents, you had a clear view of the bloodstains on Michonne’s clothes, including over her protruding stomach, and, behind her, Daryl flinching as he shrugs his crossbow off of his shoulders.
What the hell happened out there?
From your spot, you watch Siddiq rush Michonne towards the infirmary but Daryl disappears towards his old house, where he stays whenever he’s actually in town. You can see that he’s in pain just from the way that he’s walking, and you know he’s not going to ask for any help with it. Which is exactly why you decide you’re going to help him anyway.
You walk to the infirmary. Inside, Michonne is explaining to Siddiq what happened outside the walls while he cleans the cut on her pregnant belly.
You approach the bed she’s sitting on, and your friend reaches a hand out to you. You take it, giving it a comforting squeeze. That’s when you notice that she already has bandages on her wrists.
Nodding at them, you ask, “What happened?”
Michonne’s grip on your hand gets tighter as she answers. “We found them. They caught us and tied us up. Daryl got us free. And then we - we -” she falters, her big brown eyes filling with tears.
Pulling her to you, you hold her as she cries, rubbing her back. “It’s okay. You’re okay. The kids are okay,” you murmur repeatedly, your heart breaking for her. Michonne is one of the toughest people you know. You can’t imagine the horrors she went through that could cause her to break down like this.
After a few minutes, Michonne pulls back, wiping her damp cheeks. “I’m okay,” she says hoarsely. “You should go check on Daryl. You know how he is.”
“Boy do I,” you reply, smirking. She smiles back, before pushing you to get moving. When you make for the exit, Siddiq stops you, pushing a small basket of supplies into your hands.
“I figured Daryl might need some of this too,” he explains. “But I doubt he’d want me to go over there.”
You laugh a little. “Thanks, I got it.” You take the basket, and start heading towards the house, hoping to find Daryl.
Thankfully, he didn’t go too far. He didn’t even make it into the house. Daryl is draped over the porch swing, legs dangling, smoking a cigarette. His eyes are closed, but you know he heard you walk up, so you don’t worry about startling him.
As if anyone could, you think to yourself, laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Daryl asks, not bothering to open his eyes.
“Nothin’,” you reply quickly. You lean on the railing next to the swing. “How are you?”
“‘m fine,” he answers shortly.
“Sure you are.”
Daryl scoffs and goes quiet again, so you try another approach.
“I was just with Michonne.”
This gets his attention. He puts out his cigarette, then sits up on the swing, leaning his elbows on his thighs and looking at the floor.
“How is she?” he asks quietly.
“She’ll be alright,” you answer him gently. “She told us some of what happened. How you guys were tied up.”
Daryl doesn’t reply, but you notice him rubbing one of his wrists. The skin there is red and raw, and, like the rest of him, generally filthy. Kneeling in front of him, you place your hands around his.
“Let me clean those,” you say softly. “Please.” You keep your touch gentle, knowing that Daryl’s not a huge fan of physical contact, letting him pull his hands away if he wants to.
He hesitates for a moment, before nodding. Sighing in relief, you rub your thumb across his knuckles before getting to work.
The first thing you do is roll Daryl’s sleeves up so they don’t get in the way. Then, you grab one of the bottles of water from the basket Siddiq gave you. Cracking the seal, you pour some of the water onto Daryl’s injured wrists. He hisses in pain.
“I’m sorry,” you apologize, putting the water back and picking up a clean cloth.
“‘s alright,” he mutters.
Gently, you pat the wounds dry with the cloth. When they’re dry enough, you grab the ointment Siddiq packed for you. Uncapping it, you take some with your fingers and rub it on his wrists.
As you do, you look up to find Daryl watching you. His piercing blue eyes pin you in place, and you hold his gaze as you continue rubbing his burn with the soothing cream.
“Why’re you doin’ this?” he asks in a low voice.
You think about it for a moment. “Because I want to take care of you,” you reply.
He scoffs. “Don’t need no one to take care of me.”
“I know,” you answer, shrugging. “But I’d like to.” You drop your gaze and his wrist, wiping the excess ointment on your jeans. “If you let me,” you add, reaching for the basket again.
Daryl doesn’t say anything but continues watching as you wrap the bandages around his wrists. You circle each wrist a few times before cutting the extra material with your knife. When you reach for the tape, he speaks again.
“Alright,” is all he says.
You stop and look up at him. “Alright?” you ask, confused.
“You can take care o’ me,” he mutters and looks away. His ears, peeking out through his curls, are bright red. He shrugs. “If ya want,” he says so quietly, you almost miss it.
A smile breaks across your face. Feeling your cheeks burn, you focus on cutting the tape and placing them on the bandages.
“Alright,” you say when you’re finished, leaning back.
“Yeh?” Daryl asks. When you meet his gaze, he’s looking at you again.
“Yeah,” you reply, smile still on your lips.
Daryl nods, the left side of his mouth quirking up in the closest thing you know you’ll get to a smile. You pack up the supplies and stand, brushing off your knees. Daryl shifts over on the swing, making room for you. You smile again and sit next to him, your leg just barely brushing against his.
Daryl shifts again, and you think that you upset him by sitting so close, so you start to move away. But then Daryl’s arm reaches around you, resting on the top of the swing behind your back. Smiling again, you lean back into the warmth of him, and relax, letting him rock you and the swing as the sun begins to set over the horizon.
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itsizzydizzy · 1 year
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Cold Shoulder (Ghost x reader blurb)
A/n: This is a blurb of something I have been writing since I have been obsessed with Ghost and all the Cod men. Idk what I really when this to be. I’m a stan for enemies to lovers x reader, so I gues this is my attempt lol.
·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
From the moment he saw her, Ghost was frustrated. He had never seen someone start their assignment with the 141 with a smile on their face, much less the can-do attitude you emitted. Why Price had let some bright-eyed rookie in was beyond him. If it had been Ghost’s say, your file would have never made it onto his desk, even if Laswell shoved it down his own throat. Soldiers like you did not belong here.
He didn’t give a shit you were a woman, a decent shot, trained in hand-to-hand, or the “spider-like quality” Price had tried to convince him of. Whatever that meant. No it was the look in your eyes, the first time you introduced yourself with that code name and your hand outstretched. “Angel.” How fitting. For innocent eyes seemingly untouched by the horrors and auguish of conflict.
“Angels have no place where we go” was all he could muster as he flick his cigarette bud leaving you with Soap. It’s not like they need a ghost hanging around anyway.
“Don’t mind him lass. ‘Tends to shy away from shiny things” you turn around to Seregant Soap with amused huff, while he reassures you with a wink.
You could have cared less if your welcome to the 141 was warm or not. Just being here was enough, but at least the sergeant showing you around had started lukewarm.
“I’ll make sure to tone it down around him. Nothing I haven’t dealt with before” you say, throwing your arms up in playful surrender.
You had met more than your fair share of superiors with the same tired, dismissive attitude. Sidne comments didn’t kill you this far, and why Lieutenant Ghost should be any different didn’t seem obvious to you. You clearly wouldn’t be friends. That you could deal with.
Soap only snickered, “Oh, I hav’ no doubt ‘bout. This place practically lit up when you walked in here.”
“Laswell warned me not to mistake your flirts for flattery. Can’t let it go to my head all on day one.” You could only shake your head and hold your laughter at bay. At least there was still your prototype cocky-flirt even on this base. Somethings never change.
“Trust me, ya’ didn’t see the look on those blokes' faces when you hopped off the chopper.” Soap chided.
Before you could return the banter he waved you forward mentioning needing to stop at Captain Price’s office before dinner, while your tour around base continued. Falling in step by him, you two headed on your way inside.
You usually didn’t let the comments of any of the guys you had been around in the military get to you, but Soap seemed to possess a seriousness you hadn’t expected in his last comment. Even in the short interaction you had had, his change in tone was might to be clearly read. Being the girl on base was nothing new to you, but no one ever took the liberty to point that out. Especially a soldier you were slowly learning was a bit more than the prototype you thought you had encountered.
For some reason his comment left you wondering about the face you had definitely not seen. Soap clearly was not referring to the Lieutenant, but it was the only one you found yourself interested in. His dismissive nature should have told you all you needed to know. But that didn't stomp out the thought of something more under the surface. Did the mask represent his dead stoic attitude or hide a truth he afforded no one?
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emry-stars-art · 9 months
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Dare I ask why Abram doesn’t like being called pretty??
I don’t know anon, do you dare?? 👀 jk here we go
I’ll preface with: this isn’t going to be as bad as the canon Nest, nor as bad as canon Andrew’s childhood but there’s a tw for assault/coercion
So like. Neil is just a good looking guy, right. We all know this, it’s canon, we love it for him (and Andrew).
I’m imagining in this au some of the major points of his upbringing are (obviously) not having his mother’s protection - at least not as much if any at all idk - and being a lower station than like half the people he’s around regularly. I think we figured Nathan is some noble that has his own land and place of operations, but I think it’s more a title the eldest Wesninskis have historically earned once they’ve proven themselves worthy and loyal. So yes Nathaniel is the son of a noble and expected to take his place as such but he’s not going to get there anytime soon until he grows strong/smart enough to take the title from Nathan. Which, clearly, he doesn’t stick around long enough to get to.
An introduction as a bit from this scene (which is part of the writing masterpost of this au that you can find here!)
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So the Moriyamas still have a considerable leash on him. Acting against or refusing anyone higher in station is very much a punishable offense, and honestly? Nothing the various nobles, etc do is worth getting punished in Nathaniel’s mind.
From the time he’s like seven? Eight? Some of the court ladies likely start commenting on his appearance (because this is the Nest equivalent and because they’re above reproach and the Moriyamas definitely don’t care enough to stop it. Doubtful Nathaniel is the only one this happens to). Bit by bit they get more and more comfortable, usually the ladies, sometimes a man or two, and eventually it’s touching, holding, ‘asking’ for kisses, threatening him as a joke they put on for each other. And Nathaniel, of course, can’t even say anything without earning harm. He’s dealt with lots of unwanted touching, he’s used to having blades pointed at him or against his skin, and at least with the nobles it’s never more than a nick or scratch. They just like scaring him. They never undress him or even try more than to get under a sleeve, but still all roaming is fair game to them over the clothes. And the most common (though not only) comment from any of them is telling him how pretty he is. How lucky he is to have his father’s looks, and how could they possibly let that go to waste? (This is the main reason Abram still thinks he’s a carbon copy of Nathan, though he’s not - he leans more toward his mother’s features, and only his father’s hair, eye color, posture, etc)
As he gets older and grows more dangerous, this starts to slow down. Partly because then he’s a lot better about staying out of sight, he’s gotten used to getting himself out of those situations earlier. Not to say it never happens. Just a ‘his reputation precedes him’ - the smarter ones know that if they go too far, if Nathaniel decides he’s had enough, he could kill them as easily as he could anyone else, and most of them know he isn’t as well trained as the Moriyamas would have liked. He’s more of a risk now and there’s others they can subject to their whims instead.
I don’t think Abram would ever get used to being called pretty, even by Andrew. It’s not a full on trigger like some other things, it just makes him severely uncomfortable and maybe even a little scared. Like a kid again. Clueless and helpless. A jolt through his body when he hears it.
There’s plenty of other things Andrew can and does call him instead, anyway.
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preciouslandmermaid · 7 months
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so as u guys know i went through a breakup in june. which was a good thing. i wasn’t invested in the relationship, i was unhappy, the honeymoon had faded, there were flags that i simply couldn’t ignore (both in him and myself!) and i knew i needed to return to my happiest state - being single and annoying online.
today, on the first day back of work, this motherfucker asks to talk to me afterwards and im like “yeah sure.” thinking that like we’re just gonna chat real quick in the parking lot. no. hes like “where can we meet.” and im like “idk starbucks i guess.” 
i’ve been keeping my distance from him because that’s what was best for ME. we literally haven’t spoken in 2 weeks. so i gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought he was just trying to catch up, be friendly. i rationalized that since we were only together about 5 months, then it wouldn’t be completely weird to start being friends now that 2 months have passed since the separation. 
besties....he wanted to know if we could get back together. 😠 i was like ?????????? and he was like “well, we spent the summers working on ourselves” (bro ur still not in therapy so i disagree), and then he was like “i feel like we broke up because i was having such a hard time at work and was going through a hard time and it reflected on our relationship.” and i was like uhhh. and so i said a metaphor i was like “us getting back together would be like trying to complete a puzzle when you’ve lost pieces in the vacuum.” and he goes “OH WELL, relationships have their ups and downs! we could still find those pieces.”
i legit wish someone was recording my face. i was in shock. like when we broke up, i did tell him i hoped we could be friends, i told him i hoped we could be in each other’s lives and that maybe (and it’s a big maybe) we could reconnect in the far future. (but, i remember when i said this, i was only saying it to be nice. which was a mistake since it led me to this whole conversation). 
ANYWAYS. to make a long story short. i told him No. and he was like “why i dont understand. you said you loved me. how could you love me and then not love me anymore. this is really hurting my self-worth. i dont understand. what changed??”
and i just...didn’t engage really. i wasn’t gonna list all the reasons. i already did that when we broke up and he demanded answers. i told him that i didn’t feel the connection anymore. and i already know im hurting his feelings AGAIN. eventually i just said “i’m happier single.” and he was like “oh? so i won’t see you dating someone in six months?” and i was like “probably not?? but idk?” he also brought up an old interaciton we had waaay back in march and tried to gaslight me by saying i got defensive during it, but i literally wrote that interaction down beat by beat so i remember how it went because it made me feel so uncomfortable and was my first serious red flag. >:( you cannot trick me! 
we managed to end the conversation and i stayed firm within my boundaries even tho he looked sad/was tearing up and kept asking me for reasons (idk why being unhappy in the relationship isn’t a reason enough for him??) a few hours after i got home, he texted me and was like “Was everything you said earlier true? No lying to save my feelings?” and i texted him back and was like “Yeah, it was all true.” idk how i could’ve been any clearer. i think he just dislikes hearing things he doesn’t want to hear. (omg also he brought up bell hooks--someone i introduced him to!--and was like “are you just chasing the next high?” and i was like “??? idk ??” )
my friends keep telling me he was emotionally manipulative, but it’s hard for me to see it. maybe in time i will be able to. but again--im just proud of myself for not “cowering” and changing my mind because i’ve got a person in front of me who i do care about --and who is sad--who i could make happy by doing what he wants.
but that is no life worth living. i live for myself. for my own happiness. and i was not happy in the relationship. you don’t need any other reason to leave-- if you’re unhappy, you can just go. it’s fine. i think that’ll be the big lesson i takeaway from this whole debacle. 
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rose1021 · 4 months
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Garroth's betrayal being about heartbreak sucks anyway!!
I personally think it should be about distrust and them not trusting him with that information instead of the heartbreak itself. It wasn't fully anyway in canon. He was sad and vulnerable, and then Lillian came in and gaslit him and all. But then again, within the canon, it's still said to just be about jealousy, so idk.
But just any situation where Garroth is sad and isolates himself. Then Lillian can come in and gaslight him. Lillian who pretends to be a therapist and gives him kind words. Lillian who looks a lot like his mom, honestly.
Maybe instead of the romance, Garroth is jealous of Laurance with the village. Maybe people start to like him more. Maybe that leaves him so sad or something.
Or maybe the betrayal could be more about his brother, the one whom he betrays them for. Why didn't that play a bigger part? His younger brother, what if he saw remnants of what Zane once was in him? What if he feels immeasurable guilt of Zane ending up like that to the influence of their dad, and THEN he gets a glimpse of hope. That there's still some good in Zane left that he could FIX his mistakes. If he just shows that he is there for him. He was loyal to his family long before he even knew of Phoenix Drop's existence after all..
Some of these factors, or a mix of them.
I'm just spitballing ideas, but oh well.
Definitely, Garroth acting on heartbreak makes no sense, especially since he’s going to Zane considering the distaste he’s had towards him the whole series. I really do like the idea of Garroth fearing that he was being replaced with Laurance, I think it would tie in better and yield the same results. However I do really believe Lillian had more to do with his betrayal then what was alluded to. We know she creates illusions so why not continue with that? Maybe she plagued his dreams which showed him failing to protect aphmau and phoenix drop and maybe she manipulates him into believing that if he joins with Zane it is the only way he can protect her idk but also the love betrayal really doesn’t get I guess resolved or even brought up again, it is Garroths fault (inadvertently) that they time jumped and there would be blame on him but the series just glossed over it?? Like she’s more upset that Aaron died (his fault not garroths) rather than missing the entire childhood of her son and Malachi as well considering he regained human form and is no longer “immortal”. I don’t think blame on Garroth would do the series any good so that’s why blame needs to be put on someone else. Oh hey why don’t we put it on the crazy manipulator who has proved he has no care for human life.
Thinking about what Garroth says when confronted by the group (can’t be bothered to look it up rn but it’s basically) “you guys never cared about me, Zane is the only one who has” which uhh Garroth where have you been bud so I really doubt heartbreak would make u forget that??? (Now time to look up that quote I’m curious now 😭)
I’m gonna stop for now until I write another essay 💜
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my-castles-crumbling · 2 months
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Ok so I’m the same anon that keeps popping up asking about gender (the one from last week also asking about being on the ace spec) well anyway I’m going away with some friends for a few days. These friends aren’t like my best best friends (key information for later)
Anyway these two friends always refer to me as a girl. Like all the time!!
“Hey girls, …..”
And it’s so annoying, especially bc sometimes I doubt my genderqueerness. It just makes me upset and I know I have no right to be upset bc they are assuming my gender bc I’ve given them no reason to assume otherwise, it’s just it gets me a bit frustrated at them.
So, I’m going away with them now for a few days and I’m thinking maybe I should tell them how I feel about them always referring to me as a girl.
A few problems arise with that however, firstly, I haven’t told anyone about my gender crisis’. Preferably I’d like to come out to a more trusting friend first, like some of my closer friends who know I’m bi. (These two friends don’t know that about me)
Secondly, I have no idea how they would react! They seem open minded sometimes but the very first time I spoke to one of them she said “society these days are too much” literally referring to the lgbtqia+ community. So there’s that.
Any advice? Should I tell them I’m bi for starters, see how they react with that and then talk about gender if it goes well?
Or should I make a subtle comment about like how people should try to be more inclusive with language etc - that way i don’t need to out myself, especially as I’m not ready for that conversation at all as I’m still working it all out.
Ahhh
I just want to feel better, bc everytime they say “girls” it makes me sad.
——
Other than that… thank you so much for helping me!! I think I’m closer to working out my gender now. Ever since you told me I could be genderfluid things are making more sense. Just one more question… could the genders I be fluid with (idk how to word it) be agender and demigirl?? Or does that make no sense!!
Thank you again 💜
Oh my god, "Hey, girls" always gives me the biggest ick! I think it's important to say: it's okay to feel upset about it, even though you haven't said anything. Though I think you're right in saying it's not really their fault, it also sucks to be misgendered.
Okay so with these friends, I think you might be right to feel them out a bit first before you say anything about your actual gender. In an ideal situation, you could just tell them, but since you're not sure how they'll react and this would be your first people coming out to, it would be nice to make sure it's a positive experience.
However, I think you should say something about them referring to you as a girl, before going on a trip with them. But you don't have to get deep into your gender if you don't want to. I'm imagining a conversation like:
You: Hey, I noticed you say things like "hey, girls" a lot. That makes me uncomfortable. Do you think you could not do that?
Them: But why does it matter? Aren't you/we girls?
You: It's not really important what I am, it's just that I'm more comfortable if you say something like "Hey guys" or "hey everyone." You're my friends and I wanted to make sure you know what makes me feel comfortable, because I know you care.
And now it's not as much about your identity, and if they argue, it makes it seem like they don't care about you. Also, I think their reaction to this could be a hint about their reaction to you actually coming out.
Last, as far as what genders you could be fluid with- it could be any genders! What you said makes sense to me, but if it makes sense to YOU, that's most important!
<3
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personasintro · 2 years
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Just wanted to start off saying you made an amazing chapter once again. Thank you for your hard work. Can’t wait for ch 52! 🤍
I just wanna say I really loved the way you showcased Jungkook’s maturity and growth from him speaking out about kiko in this chapter to hobi. He may not be ready to speak to her personally but I’m glad he asked hobi to kinda hear from her pov. I felt like he wanted / needed that closure and to understand her better. She did hurt him. She’s not picture perfect and she made a mistake like we all do but I’m glad she knows she hurt jk. I don’t really see kiko as the bad guy really anymore, at first I didn’t like her because she “cheated” but I can’t help to feel bad because even though it was her choice to get an abortion, she went through that all alone. I can’t imagine how that must feel. But I’m still kinda salty that she didn’t tell jk when he deserved to know of course. Maybe she didn’t trust him enough idk. Anyways though I know jk doesn’t love her anymore but to see him care about her still is heartbreaking but also good of him. People act like she’s easy to let go of especially when he saw her as someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. That’s not that easy to let go of and when they lie and betray your trust, it fucking hurts. When you love someone and they hurt you and it doesn’t work out, you may still want them to be happy but not just with you anymore. That’s probably what jk wants for kiko you know. And just because he cares about her still doesn’t mean he loves her or wants her back, he’s just a good person who wouldn’t wanna wish suffering on someone, especially when they were once his whole life. That moment will be implanted in his life forever. But that doesn’t mean he won’t learn to overcome it. Especially when he has friends by him.
Time heals and eventually maybe he’ll speak to kiko and end things on a better, understanding note but rn they’re both still hurting. I’m happy to see him trying to move on, it was a big step to speak to hobi and ask about her and all. And I’m glad y/n is there for jk too. That’s why I really truly feel that’s why y/n would be such an amazing partner to jk. Alongside Tae and Jimin, I’m glad he has them too. He’s gonna be okay 💖
omg thank you for reading this chapter and for writing all of this!! 🥹🫰you’ve made so many points and this felt so nice to read, thank you for that!! I can say I agree with everything you mentioned here about the K topic 😬
there are many reasons to be salty about, she did hurt him and she always knew what damage she made 😔 I don’t know, for me personally, it felt very sad to write about her part of the story (which we could hear from hoseok), I tried to portray that she doesn’t have this happy life and regrets everything which can be a lot for a human, I think that’s why I don’t have any hateful feelings for her because I feel like I can literally feel the pain (lol I can’t explain it) but of course, I never doubted the damage she has done and how she could’ve handled things differently
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Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 13x04 The Big Empty
“We’ve seen Cas so we just gotta hang in there. Are they going to string us along though?” “That’s not good” “a lot of strawberry jam” “ I like the screen card” “that’s funny” “what time of day is it? Dean has massive hair gel going on” “god knows what? God doesn’t care man” laughter “how did he say that with a straight face” “he fkn left. Ditched town” laughter
“That was a good line” “maybe you don’t want to open the door? You can’t not scratch that itch bitch” “tear down the wall. Tear down the wall” “Doesn’t Jack kill some guy anyway?” “dean’s a fkn asshole” “how does watering her plants have to do with anything with knowing what she looks like” “SHe’s got a nice bush” said in a jokey way
“Zombies huh? Idk if I remember what revenants are” “might want to move. Feel like that’s not going to smell very good” “why’s Cas talking like that?” “Hello?” “phone dials” “that’s pretty extreme. Very juicy” “Did Cas just walk upstairs?” “the fuck” “what the fuck” “that was extra kraut.” Looked like an onion to me
“Oh maybe” laughter
“Bad time if that boat sank, eh?” “this 3rd dimension bullshit is good. I like it” “that was a really weird shot” “nice” “did you really need to pick it up?” laughter
“Hey bitch” “creepy” laughter
Laughter
====Spouse fell asleep right around the Empty talking to Cas so we had to pick it back up again====
“So who’s the person talking to Cas?” The Empty
“They say we need a pop of color and put a red lamp in a bush or what?” “splitting up again. Let Jack join you.” “Something’s gonna go wrong.” “how can shifters not notice other shifters?” “What accent or whatever is Misha channelling?” “Why is he opening up to a random shifter? We don’t know if she’s the other shifter. We don’t know who she is” She is a therapist
“Dean’s going to be so mad, dude” “oh hey she got paid again, yay. I assume” “She’s going to kill Jack. Maybe. Probably. Idk” “I’m looking for the plot twist” “That’s what I figured. Or something” “nice” “that’s a lot of roast beef dude” “Quite amusing that these celestial beings speak English. How convenient” “I mean The Empty hasn’t blown up Cas yet so idk who has more power” “Real Misha is on the left” “That’s a lot of strawberry preserves” “that was neat” “they really like the uh idk what you call it, but I doubt that it’s really ivory, the ivory colts from the 70s” Dean’s gun has the pearlescent inlay with the filigree
“That’s right. The shifter took Dean’s gun” “hey bitch. Didn’t bother changing your clothes, eh?”
“Does Cas even have any clothes? Or is he just a suit with a head sticking out”
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starship2011 · 3 years
Text
Gotta focus I’m shifting into my reality where Avenue Q didn’t need to rely on shock humor & confused racial allegories as a crutch
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 2 years
Note
Idk about you but I'm in mood for some angst
Sun, Moon, Freddy and Monty (sperate) with Reader that got fired? Maybe they tried to find out what Vanessa/Vanny were doing and when she found out, she lied to the boss and somehow got Reader fired? How would the animatronics react?
Also Reader was like a long time employee so being there almost since the start of the pizzaplex they were really close with animatronics
And if 4 is too many characters then you can skip Monty
Ooooo an angst prompt is always refreshing to see >:)
............
Sun
"Fired??? No, no, no!! That can't be right at all! [Y/n] hasn't done a single thing wrong in their life!! Why would they be fired??"
"Well..they were caught screwing with your arcade game. Now it's got some creepy glitch of yourself and we can’t get rid of it.” Vanessa explains. “I had to report it to my boss and..they said tampering with electronics here is cause for immediate termination. Even I had no idea about that till now.”
“S-So..I can’t even say goodbye to [y/n]??”
“No. They already packed and left.”
His mechanical heart is broken.
All over a silly arcade machine??? Even if Sun was the boss he’d never in a million years fire you for a dumb reason like that!
He’s so close to crying but Vanessa gently reminds him there are kids in the daycare still.
“Don’t get hysterical. Just do your job and attend to their needs. It’s what [y/n] would want you to do, Sunny.” She mocks the nickname you gave to the attendant. One that’s stuck since day one.
Moon
Vanessa tells him the same lie she told Sun.
And he just stares at her.
“What?”
“You heard me. [Y/n]’s no longer employed here.”
He thinks that’s bullshit..until he searches the entire mall and doesn’t find you anywhere. Even your office is empty, with none of your possessions remaining.
All he finds on the desk is a note addressed to him:
I’m sorry, Moony. They fired me. Please don’t think any of this was your fault. Take good care of all the kiddos, okay? I’ll see you in my dreams -[Y/N]
Moon is devastated..and angry.
He knew Vanessa lied to get you fired. Like him, you were catching on. Finding out who she really was. And she panicked and got you punished to cover her tracks.
He’s gonna keep a closer eye on her from then on.
If he had it his way, she would’ve gone missing already.
Freddy
Although he’s sad to see you were fired, he wonders why Vanessa didn’t sound disappointed but rather..relieved?
He’s not one to be suspicious. So he gives her the benefit of the doubt and thinks you two had some nasty conflict that impacted her ability to do her job.
Then again..he’s never heard you complain about any of your coworkers.
He’ll miss you a lot. You’ve been working at the Pizzaplex since the day of his band’s debut.
Sure he’s formed many friendships with the human staff, but you were such a joy to be around--keeping the show going and making sure everyone has a good time.
Vanessa never did tell him why you got fired on the spot.
He can’t imagine you’d do anything bad enough to warrant that..
It’s something he thinks about for a while. 
Every time he passes your abandoned office or wherever you used to work at in the Pizzaplex, he thinks of you and what you could’ve done wrong.
Monty
You were just adjusting his emotional parameters in parts & services when you were suddenly called to your boss’ office..then Vanessa comes in half an hour later to tell him the news.
And he nearly breaks his restraints in rage.
“You’re lying!!”
“Management believes [y/n] had a role in the events leading to Bonnie’s decommission. They tampered with his code and that could’ve made him hostile that night. We couldn’t risk anything happening to you so they were terminated immediately.”
“NO! We were cool! [Y/n] wouldn’t do somethin’ like that to us! I broke Bonnie!!! ME!! Terminate me for all I care!!”
“Nice try, but you didn’t. You were due to replace him anyway. Now wait here while we bring in the new guy.”
Unfortunately, said new guy can’t even get past the cylinder opening without Monty going absolutely berserk, demanding to see you and only you.
Since then, no one’s been able to bring him in for maintenance, hence his trademark temper spiraling out of control.
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belphies-cuhm-sluht · 3 years
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hello amazing talented writer!!!! i believe ur requests are open right now (if they aren't pls ignore this) !! i was wondering if you could do head cannons for the obey me brothers with an mc who really wanted to show them how much they loved them, so they give them the biggest bear hug possible and keep telling them how much they appreciate them? idk if there is a character limit, so of you want to include the dateables that would be marvelous! thank you for having such an amazing blog and working so hard 💖😌
Brothers with a Lovebug GN!MC (Headcanons)
A/N : This was so cute! So cute! I loved writing it! All the brothers deserve love and appreciation. Thank you so much for requesting it and thank you thank you thank you for your kind words, I appreciate them and I appreciate you <3
Lucifer
He wasn’t completely touch starved, well.. Not anymore since he met you, but hugs still kind of threw him off sometimes. He just wasn’t used to it, no matter how many times you hugged him, although he did love the feelings.
When you came up to him and hugged him this time, it was different than most of the other hugs, it was tight and warm, and it was almost as if he could feel all of your love for him pouring out in this one single hug and… well… he loved it. He loved the feeling of it. It made him feel warm, it was… strange but endearing. But then you started telling him how much you appreciate him, and while he already was aware that you did (that’s just him being prideful though), he loved hearing it from your lips. It was enough to actually make him smile, and he was so wrapped up in the warmth that your words and his touch made him feel that he almost forgot to hug you back… almost.
His arms snaked around you, holding you closer against him. He didn’t want to lose the warm feeling that you gave him, he didn’t want to let you go.
“Thank you, dear. Please, don’t hesitate to… do this more often.”
Mammon
If there was anyone who deserved this, it was him. He’s so under appreciated in the house, he’s always getting picked on, the guy can never seem to catch a break. The only time he actually feels like he’s noticed for the good things that he does is when he’s with you, hence why he’s always following you around and trying to be as close to you as possible. He just really needs it.
The bear hug was, needless to say, very unexpected for him. Sure, he’s used to being hugged by you, and yes, he loves being hugged by you… But this hug was amazing to him. It was tight, and it wasn’t just any regular hug, it was like you were holding onto him, and this may have just become his preferred method of hugs. These kinds of hugs are by far the best hugs to get. He almost couldn’t focus on what you were saying until he realized that you were telling him that you appreciate him… and… wow. That was the only thing he could think when he heard you, and it didn’t seem like you were anywhere close to being done.
He held you tighter, resting his head on top of yours, and yes, he did start crying although he’s going to deny that he is… just don’t bring it up.
“That’s really sweet of ya, babe… And I ain’t cryin’... yer hair jus’ got in my eye… tell me more?”
Leviathan
He is very touch starved, and although people around the house appreciate him, he’s always down on himself anyway. He’s always down on himself, and even when you are there to tell him why you love him, his thoughts are just very pessimistic. He needs this just as much as Mammon does.
The sound he made when you first wrapped your arms around him was a mix between a scream and a squeal. He definitely wasn’t expecting it, but he wasn’t against it either. He didn’t know that he needed it until it was already happening, but he really appreciates the hug. When you started telling him that you appreciate him and how much you appreciate him, his face turned the brightest shade of red. It was strange to him because he didn’t really know that he did that much for you to even appreciate, but he really liked hearing you say it. At least he knows that he’s doing something right and that he’s making you happy.
He’s so happy, it’s off the charts, and he doesn’t want the hug to end, ever. It’s the best feeling in the world to be appreciated.
“I-I’m… Thank you… Y-You’re the best… Really… I-I appreciate you too…”
Satan
Being loved and appreciated never seemed important to him before. These were things he could live without, he was thriving off of being hateful and unappreciative towards Lucifer. Deep down though, even if he didn’t ever want to admit it, acknowledge it, or even know about it… He needed these things.
He heard you coming. Let’s be fair, this man memorized the sounds of footsteps of everyone in the house so he can act accordingly based on whoever was even coming close to his room. He was ready for you to come in, the smile already on his face, his book already set down to welcome you with open arms. What he wasn’t ready for was the bear hug that you rushed in to give him. He was not ready at all, but damn if he didn’t love it. He loved hearing your words of appreciation too, and he was going to memorize every single thing that you said, just so he could think about it later.
He really did need this, as someone who mainly only ever feels wrath, hatred, annoyance… You’re the only thing that really brings him pure happiness.
“You’re making me soft, kitten… Not that I mind it. I’ve got all the time in the world to keep doing this.”
Asmodeus
The complete opposite of Satan, love and appreciation are so very important to him. But, he receives these things all the time from strangers, and sometimes, well, most times, it never feels genuine. These things have lost almost all of their meanings to him, it almost seemed pointless because of how repetitive it’s become.
There was something different receiving love and appreciation from you though. It was real, there was emotion behind it, something that could never be picked up or trusted over the internet through random comments. Of course he loved the hug, the tighter, the closer the better. He wasn’t actually… used to getting hugs like that. It felt special to him, and when the words of appreciation came, he felt special. Being loved by the entire Devildom will never feel as good as being loved by you. You made him feel like more than just his avatar, and that means so much more to him than looks or likes.
Yes he cried, and no he didn’t try to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of his emotions, and he wanted you to know that what you said made him feel good enough that he actually cried.
“Oh… You’re… I’m gonna mess up my face but… It’s okay. You’re so sweet, I could just kiss you, darling.”
Beelzebub
He knows what love is, because he loves you and he loves all of his brothers. He knows what appreciation is because he appreciates you, and appreciates everything that his brothers do for him. He’s pretty sure that his brothers love and appreciate him back, and he knows without a doubt that you love and appreciate him… especially after the hug.
The hug, which was nice, and really cute to him. He was always the one giving you the bear hugs, so to be on the receiving end felt really nice. It’s not something that he’s used to, but his eyes, his entire face even, it lit up. Being told that he’s appreciated though, it’s way different from just feeling appreciated. Those words meant so much to him, he probably won’t be able to stop smiling about it for weeks. He’ll probably tell all of his brothers about it too, well, not even probably, he’s definitely going to tell all of his brothers about it. This is a really big thing to him.
He’s just so happy, beyond happy, ecstatic even. He loves and appreciates you so much, and feeling that same amount of love and appreciation returned, it’s amazing, it feels like he just won a football game.
“I’m happy you feel the same way, honey… You’re really special to me… I love you.”
Belphegor
He puts on a big front that he doesn’t care if anyone loves him or appreciates him, but he just doesn’t want to be seen as weak, and feelings to him are a sign of vulnerability. Plus, those feelings just make attachments stronger and if something bad were to happen, it’ll be harder for him to move on and get over it.
Hugs were weird enough to him, so bear hugs weren’t any less weird, it caught him off guard. He just stood there for a second before finally relaxing in your arms. He loved you, and while he didn’t say it as much as he probably should, he realized that sometimes words weren’t needed to get that feeling across. He could feel all of your love through that hug, and it made him feel… good. When you started telling him you appreciate him… and just how much you appreciate him… that was shocking. He didn’t know what you could possibly be appreciative of considering everything that’s happened and how he was towards you. He’s always felt like a fuck up, like everything bad that’s ever happened was his fault, so to hear that he’s appreciated was strange, he almost couldn’t wrap his head around it.
He wasn’t going to cry, not in front of you, but he definitely felt like he was about to. He’s gotta make an excuse to get you out of the room long enough to get the sniffles out without you noticing.
“You’re such a dork… Go get your pillows and blankets from your room. I want to cuddle with you.”
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thebeautyoffanfics · 3 years
Note
Idk if you already made this but Hanako, Kou and mitsuba jealous Hcs with their girlfriend that is quite popular among the students pls? thank u!!
hanako x f!reader, kou minamoto x f!reader, mitsuba sousuke x f!reader
a/n: sure thing!! No worries, I haven’t made it yet :D you’re so very welcome, and thank you so much for requesting!! I love jealousy headcanons tho I don’t think I’ve ever written them? I hope these turn out alright, and I’m so sorry for the time this took!
warnings: jealousy?
word count: 1,936
Hanako <3
Oh boy- can I do anything but wish you luck?
Hanako is already a fairly clingy and jealous guy, that’s practically canon. He’ll stand between you when you’re talking to anyone, and I mean aaaaanyone. He just can’t risk losing you!
(It’s got a whole lot to do with his insecurities, of course- while he wouldn’t admit it, not wanting to drop his “ah? I’m just an innocent little boy, free of issues and perverted thoughts <3” attitude, he does struggle a lot. He’s a ghost, a murderer, and imperfect in more ways than those. You’re popular for a reason. You’re so pretty, so kind, so lovable- you’re alive, and probably have morals. What are you doing with a dead murderer?)
Wow, ANYWAY- we’re here for jealousy, not Hanako’s issues, though they will probably resurface shortly.
Seeing everyone around you… always wanting your attention, always complimenting you��
You deserved it! He thought all of those positive things and more-! But… at this point, so many people admiring you, why were you still with him?
Even if you explain to him constantly that you love him dearly, and wouldn’t leave him for anyone else, he still gets somewhat possessive. Eventually putting the “but why does (Y/N) still love me,,” aside, he just wants others to keep their hands off you :((
It’s no fault of yours, and he acknowledges that! But it’s the fault of others getting so close to you >:((
Though they can’t see him, when people go up to you, talking joyfully- he’s standing there, arms wrapped around you, head on your shoulder as he glares daggers into their souls.
BRO IF SOMEONE FLIRTS WITH YOU OR TOUCHES YOU??
You’ve never seen him super angry, much less murderous. He doesn’t want you to see him that angry normally- but holy moley is he about ready to beat someone.
Yet, he’s still just a ghost- plus if he did something Teru would exorcise him, booooo. So, he settles for continuing to glare, standing between the two of you, hitting their arm if it’s resting on your shoulder. Once again, they’re completely unaware of it, but you aren’t!
“Hanako, you know I won’t leave you for them. They’re a classmate, I barely know them, really.”
“But they want to know you. And I don’t want them to know you… they’re gonna try and take you from me, (Y/N)!”
“I won’t let them take me, you big dummy. So, if you could please let go of me so I can get back to class?”
“No :((“
Not only does he cling to you, of course- though he hugs you bunches and squishes your face just because you’re cute- you can also expect a lot of kisses. Ranging from quick “hey, I’m here, and please don’t choose someone else over me”, “hey, my kisses are better than theirs!! Here’s proof!”, “you’re my girlfriend, not theirs, and if they keep treating you like you aren’t taking I’m going to stabby stabby (but I can’t stab cos Teru’s here, but I would if it wasn’t upsetting)”, etc, etc. It’s… almost strange how easy it is to understand what he means from the way he kisses you- but, I digress!
Overall, he gets jealous fairly easily, and gets very clingy when jealous. He’s not amazing with words, so he wants to show you that he loves you with actions!! However, those actions, more often than not, end up just being… clinging to you, and glaring at people who try to get too close to you.
(RIP Akane, Kou, and Nene for bearing witness to you walking around the school with a visibly angry Hanako. Though the worst the others get is the feeling that someone is staring at them, they get to witness his jealousy from off to the side.)
Kou Minamoto <3
He’s nearly completely opposite from Hanako, actually! He doesn’t get jealous very often, trusting you to actually tell him if something were wrong in the relationship. And, when he does get jealous, he does his best to not show it.
He’s not fond of being jealous. It makes him feel like he’s betraying you…? Like him being jealous is the same as him saying that he doesn’t trust you. But, similarly to Hanako, he trusts you. He just doesn’t trust others quite as much. Not with his very cute and very pretty and very sweet girlfriend :((
While it takes a lot to get him jealous, two things that really can make his temper cut short are (similarly to Hanako) when someone outright flirts or touches you. Especially if they touch you and the two of you aren’t at least friends-
If someone flirts, he’s going to casually slip into the conversation, if he wasn’t there already. A quick “hey, (Y/N)! Wait, sorry, I didn’t realize you were talking-“, then he’ll stand next to you, grabbing your hand lightly. One thing about Kou is, he does his best to be gentle all the time! Even when he’s jealous, he’d never ever hurt you intentionally-!!
If someone’s touching you, he’ll hop into the conversation as he does when someone flirts, adding a “I need your help with something, when you can.” This time, or any time really, if you’re uncomfortable you can use it as an excuse to get away!! Kou’s got your back!!!
If it’s been a day where people just constantly seem to be needing your attention, he’ll start to let his jealousy get to him a bit. It’s not even that some people like your attention- heck, he gets it! He likes having your attention as well. It’s more that… they constantly need your attention. Someone always needing something, even when he just wanted to have a conversation with you :((
In that case, he’ll be slightly clingy, and slightly pouty. Almost like a young child. His lips will be pouted slightly, eyes looking a bit lower to the ground than usual. His hand will be secured in yours, and your shoulder will be lightly pressed against his.
“Kouuu, tell me what’s wrong~,” You spoke, poking his cheek with your index finger. When he was like this, it was easy to tell he was embarrassed about whatever he was pouting over, and not upset over something too serious. It was the perfect time to mess with him.
His face would flush as it usually did- and he’d look away, pouting a bit harder as his eyebrows furrowed slightly. “It’s nothing, (Y/N), really.”
“You’re pouting. Come on, now, you really can tell me. I promise I won’t think of you any less!”
“…it’s just… well- well, seeing all those people around you all day, and I couldn’t really… even get to talk to you. You even had to leave early during lunch-! I’m not angry or anything- it’s dumb, it’s dumb, really-“
“Awwwwh, Kou! Don’t be jealous, sweetheart! It’s not dumb, I actually find it sweet. You know I’d choose you over any of those people. I’d much rather spend time with you than them, but it’s not exactly easy to say no… but, if it makes you feel bad, I’ll make sure they know that, at least, lunch is off-limits.”
“Y-you don’t have to, but… that’s up to you.” (AKA “I want you to, but I don’t want you to feel obligated to do something just for my sake.”)
Overall! Kou’s going to be a sweetheart, even when (not very often) jealous. He doesn’t want you to think he’s silly or not trusting of you when he does get jealous- so he does his best to hide it? Still, he fails, since he can’t help but want to be at least a little closer to you!! Plus the way he pouts- he’s easily read in most situations, and that type is no different.
Mitsuba Sousuke <3
Ahh, where to begin… I suppose the same way I’ve been beginning the other two-
Mitsuba is… a complicated jealous boy? He gets jealous rather easily- and… doesn’t admit it, but makes it painfully obvious. He thinks he isn’t being obvious, but it’s practically plain as daylight.
As he does all things, he masks his jealousy in insults at first! Making his way into whatever conversation or interaction your having, offering an ‘uninterested’ “what’re you doing?” After that, he criticizes every little thing the other person does- his levels of mercy depending on how much the person deserves it.
A quick question? Minimum amount of insults. Maybe one, two if they drag it out.
Just having a normal conversation? More than a short question, but not an excessive amount. If they drag it out too long, the insults go up.
Flirting? Lays the insults on THICK. Plus, after a moment, an annoyed and rather cocky sounding: “why haven’t you gotten lost already? Can’t you see I’m (Y/N)’s boyfriend? You idiot. Moron. Pervert. Who talks to a taken girl like that??”
Touches you? Doesn’t even happen. They reach for you, and he’s smacking their hand away. “Idiot. What right do you have to touch my girlfriend?? That’s invasive. Gross. You’re so weird, trying to put your sticky little hands on her.”
But! If it’s a situation he can’t interfere with, be it because he’s dead and the other person’s alive, or in which the people needing your attention goes on for too long- he enters Sulky Mitsuba Mode.
Don’t get me wrong, Sulky Mitsuba is still full of insults, just… sad. In those times, as a ghost, he can’t help but wonder if you’re content in the relationship. Look at you… popular with other students- other students who could leave the school, buy you things, and such. He was a cute ghost, but he was a ghost. He wasn’t even really Mitsuba- he wasn’t the classmate you once knew. How hard was it for you? Yet, you gave it your best to get to know him again-
Luckily, Mitsuba has the ability to tell himself “if (Y/N) did that much for me, she must at least care.” However, it won’t get rid of all his doubts- and he’ll still sulk once you finally catch up with him.
“Hey, Mitsuba! Sorry, I’ve been busy!”
“Mh? Have you? I’ve barely even noticed you were gone.”
Terrible acting skills, Mitsuba. He looks annoyed, his voice sounds uninterested, but… it’s still somehow easy to see through his little act. He’s jealous, and you’re bound to be aware of it.
Take a seat next to him, and he’ll scoot away. Be patient- when he’s jealous, it’s like approaching a stray cat. No sudden movements or you’ll scare him away!
“I’m sorry, Mitsuba. I know I’ve been caught up today, and I’m really sad that I haven’t seen you much until now. Did you have anything you wanted to do? I’m all yours now!”
“Tch, whatever. I don’t have anything I want to do, so just leave it be.”
Ah… do I even have to mention that he’s stubborn. Apologize a bit, he’ll dismissively forgive you, and go from there. Lighthearted conversation, asking him about his day, talking about yours- slowly move closer to him, and! Next thing you know, his heads on your shoulder as he rants about something that happened.
Overall, Mitsuba does get jealous rather easily! He’s stubborn as always, partnered with his insults constantly ready to be fired- it’s interesting when he gets jealous. He never outright admits that he trusts you, and doesn’t consider much more than “I’m feeling a bit jealous since this person keeps taking (Y/N)’s attention, but he’d never put the blame on you. Just… like I said, be patient, and don’t get too offended.
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shijiujun · 3 years
Text
on the danmei twitter fight
okay guys i didn’t wanna say anything about this and yes it’s that hot danmei twitter translations saga thing that’s going on, because honestly i feel like there’s nothing much to say but when i see dumb posts on tumblr taking about that, by people who present a misleading hot take and their friends or moots run off with it without even knowing what exactly is going on - it really pisses me off.
and also if you shit talk translators for not continuing their translations or locking their translations whatever - the door is that way on your right and left, but anyway here’s a rundown on what happened because i am seeing people make comments without two brain cells put together, without the slightest bit of consideration for the people who bring them translations
here’s my hot take and thesis: if you enjoy english translations made by fan translators, you don’t, in any way, no matter happens, shit talk fan translators. fan translators do this for free, and whatever their intentions are, whether genuine sharing or like some of you like to say, for clout, if you consume, and you enjoy these translations, i’m sorry, you’re not uninvolved, and you don’t get to sit on a high horse and say translators should or shouldn’t do something. you should just keep quiet, honestly, because someone else is doing you a favour, a favour that you are enjoying and taking. that’s what respect is.
i’m presenting both sides or i guess three sides of the story as objectively as i can, altho my support is still for fan translators who were just minding their own business before this blew up.
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🔺 what happened:
so it started because one of the bigger translators in the fandom did this poll - i’m not blaming her at all, i doubt she had any intentions of shaming anyone or causing any controversy and was plain curious, but her poll asked english speaking danmei twitter how many people buy the digital, print copies of the danmei they read, and who did not. 
in my honest opinion, it’s not strange at all for her to have created that poll, considering just how much work she’s put into making sure things are accessible for the eng-speaking danmei fandom. i mean i’d be curious too, to know out of my thousands of readers, what the reading and buying behaviour is like. do yourself a favour and don’t read too much into it.
obviously in an era where a lot of people do consume content for free whether the underlying content is profit-making (like anime, donghua, manhua, manga etc.) or not (fanfiction etc.), it was unsurprising to see that the last option - the ones who consume danmei without paying a single cent, came out as the majority. i don’t think this is a surprising result at all, for all sorts of reasons that i will not get into now.
anyway, this is obviously kind of a sore point in the fandom especially for translators who want a wider audience to support their fave author’s works - i won’t get into that for now, but the issue began because other translators or fans started to criticize the majority of people who don’t pay for objectively rather affordable danmei and just consume things for free. 
and yes, i don’t deny that the argument on both sides got really heated and emotionally charged with both sides calling each other names which i believe is uncalled for, but it totally derailed the crux of the issue, which basically is that the majority of english-speaking danmei fandom - consumes danmei for free.
anyway this whole thing escalated and fan translators were brought into this for no fucking reason at all except that the people who didn’t want, or were unable to pay for the danmei they usually consume, made what i call a LOGICAL FALLACY in argument by going to the extremes, i will explain why later.
the end result is that fan translators were brought into this (most of them, the bigger ones i know at least) without even participating in the direct crossfire. and obviously, you can see why they’re hurt and decided to lock their translations. let me explain why
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🔺 kind of like four camps:
(1) translators and fans who criticized those who consume danmei liberally but do not pay for them in any way - no merch, no digital copies, no physical copies, no audio dramas whatever
*** their arguments:
danmei is so cheap right, that technically people should be able to pay for it in one way or another, even if not all
danmei and its authors are, at the end of the day, out here to earn a living, and the industry, like any money-making industry, is a for-profit enterprise - and unlike public goods, if you cannot afford danmei, then there is no obligation for others to make it free for you (fan translators or otherwise, it wasn’t super clearly stated while this shitshow happened) when it is inherently a for-profit industry
yes, i don’t deny that some of them did call the peeps who don’t pay at all, “leeches” and other sort of names. personally, i wouldn’t go that far or even like venture there to be honest because in general, if it’s something that i’ll get punched in the face for if i called someone that in real life i tend not to do it, but i’ll leave my opinions, whatever they’re worth, for later
(2) the readers and fans of danmei who do not pay in any sort of way for them
*** their arguments:
some of them really cannot afford, even the dollar or more, to spend on danmei for several reasons: upbringing, culture, money-spending mindsets, real poverty, struggling to make ends meet etc. - some definitely more valid than others (and when i say not valid, it’s because SOME, a minority or like those few stragglers, say they cannot afford and then you see them like idk, throwing $50 on other merch on kpop and stuff - i’m just bringing up ONE example. not shaming anyone for spending more money on one aspect rather than the other, but yeah you can see why some of them, when making this same argument, are a little invalid, that’s just a small number of them tho)
if translators are blaming them for consuming free of charge, then the fault lies, at its foundation, fan translators who translate illegally, which i mean, in that definition, all of them including me 
did i mention that we were called illegal translators like you know in response to being called leeches? anyway-
(3) others translators who literally were just minding their own fucking business before some smart alec dragged them into it
i don’t think most of us had an argument. we were just quietly munching on popcorn and staying out of it and yeah, can you imagine, we provide a service, however illegal it is, for free on our own time, we don’t even check whether people support legally or not, we just... provide, and pray that those who are able to, at least support in some small way or another do so, on their own time. i mean i don’t check, most of us don’t, not the bouncers at your local club before COVID happened do, and then suddenly, to be used to derail an argument, we were called illegal translators. and that we should stop translating, and that it is our fault that there are free riders in the fandom
(4) people who offered to provide JJWXC credits to those who said they couldn’t afford it etc.
honestly i think they were just trying to help - no different than a gofundme. there’s no shame in taking a free thing that people already weren’t intending to pay for. it’s there, just take it!
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🔺 the shitshow that led to fan translators locking their stuff up:
i would provide some actual examples in the form of screenshots but i’ve blocked most of them, and i don’t want to direct any sort of traffic to them so i guess you’ll have to take my word on it or go search on twitter yourself but-
(1) the affordability issue: i can understand the frustration at being called leeches, and some if not a majority of people, do have valid reasons for not being able to afford something or anything and end up pirating content they enjoy. hey, i am not about to crucify anyone for pirating at some point in their lives. we all have done it at some point, or for example hate disney+ and that $30 they were trying to rip off us for a subpar Mulan live action. i don’t have anything to say about that. inherently, is it wrong and illegal? yeah sure of course it is. do we call people leeches? i wouldn’t go that far.
if anyone cannot afford, cannot access for whatever reason, fine, i’m not gonna go check if jjwxc truly is banned in your country, or is your postal service so terrible that you definitely won’t be able to receive a hard copy of the book you like at affordable rates.
and if you have to pirate? go ahead. i mean it’s always been a rampant thing. the only thing fan translators and fans can do is encourage, motivate and incentivise as much as possible to get people to support legally. they can only put up REALLY COMPREHENSIVE guides as to how to access jjwxc or taobao or whatever. 
and if you still cannot afford it and pirate, honestly no one cares about the story behind it. you owe no one justification, just as how no other person is obligated to take it into consideration or understand you or empathize with you. i don’t say this in a malicious way - i do think that in general, you just do you. 
(2) the poor people don’t deserve nice things argument: honestly, this was not the point of this entire debacle, altho yes, people were rude to those who could not afford to support legally. but this is not the point of this whole thing.
main point - there are free riders who can support but choose not to because they choose to just consume it for free and if you are able to you should support
everyone going off on a tangent - you guys hate poor people / you guys are leeches
well guess what, no one wins in this argument. 
there were a lot of people saying “reading danmei is our only source of happiness, are you saying poor people who can’t access legally don’t deserve to read danmei” (this is just one example i’ve seen, there are other variations), and it wasn’t put across perhaps in the right way, but the other camp of people were saying “you’re not entitled to it for free if you cannot afford it”, which raised a lot of hackles and anti-poor yellings 
altho i do not deny that there are those who mean it maliciously, i think what everyone is trying to say is - the danmei industry, like any other profit-making industry, is looking to make profits. the people working in the industry, the authors even, are looking at numbers - traffic to jjwxc or other legal platforms, how much revenue they’re making from their live actions etc., comments, rankings, etc. i think @/hunxi-after-hours made a really succinct post on this aspect which yall should read.
it’s the same as - if you wanted to purchase a standee which costs $20 USD, but you cannot afford it = you don’t get it. there’s no way you can get this standee unless some gifts it to you for free. what the camp trying to ask people to support legally is saying, is that danmei is NOT A PUBLIC GOOD. it is a private, for-profit product. it might be intangible, but it is a PRODUCT that has a price that needs to be paid.
if you cannot afford it, you either don’t get access entirely (i’m saying this objectively and honestly from an economic standpoint). if someone gifts that standee to you for free, count yourself lucky - if someone makes a danmei accessible to you for free, COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY. you don’t have to be grateful and treat them as gods or like obey their every word, but it’s not rocket science. someone did you a favour that you accepted and consumed, show some respect. 
if you cannot afford to buy the standee - you do not go on twitter demanding that someone ensures that you have access to the standee for free. do you see how ridiculous this sounds once it’s a tangible product? and danmei novels ARE PRODUCTS. they are not FREE CONTENT. if someone cannot afford the standee, this is the equivalent of people going “we didn’t get the standee for free because poor people don’t deserve nice things”
totally missing the point. i don’t even know how it got to this. once again, i do admit that some users were unnecessarily mean, but going to the extreme of this is ridiculous. in argumentative essay writing we call this a logical fallacy:
e.g. “if you cannot pay for merchandise or danmei, it is a fact that you might not have access to it” morphing into “if we cannot pay for food, does this mean we cannot have access to it?!” - this is a slippery slope, and factors are not equivalent!!!! do they not teach people anything in school
don’t confuse fanfiction with danmei - danmei novels ARE PAID PRODUCTS unless for free chapters, just because it’s released online doesn’t mean it’s free public property, and also selected novels (did you guys know the WHOLE of SCI novel is free? about 500 chapters sorry, random, just a tidbit)
there are of course nuances right, like if anyone told me they were pirating disney+ content i’d be like yeah hey get one over those bloodsuckers, they take enough of our money and produce shit content anyway. the difference is that danmei authors, and the danmei industry itself can still be considered a nascent and not-yet matured industry, with a majority of authors if not all, depending on monetary flow, likes, comments, virality on the sites their content is hosted on, for a living, unlike hugeass MNCs trying to squeeze us dry for content that isn’t even interesting.
danmei is priced rather reasonably - and this brings me to another argument that was made, that the value of money is not the same for everyone. i don’t want to make comments on this because yes this is correct to a large extent. a $6 book might be cheap to most of us, but might be expensive to someone else. i’m not gonna comment on how cheap or whatever it is, if you gotta use your money for other things, definitely! i still maintain however, that a novel less than a dollar should be affordable to most people, a majority of people. and i definitely side eye some users who obviously have money but are just creating noise because they wanna continue free-riding
(4) the “they’re losing out on their international audience” argument: honestly, i feel like english-speaking danmei fandom gives themselves a bit too much credit. danmei has long thrived in china in its domestic market - sure the international audience is a plus to have and i’m sure the authors are grateful and flattered that people who don’t understand chinese love their content and love it a lot, but do they and their companies care about fans who basically don’t bring in money? i’m not sure (okay i’ll get to the fan translators doing illegal shit later okay i got it don’t be impatient)
and international fans are great, i don’t deny that - but when i see arguments like “oh but it’s their loss if they don’t cater or deny access to us, they get more popularity and sharing overseas”, i honestly think they don’t care as much as you think. once again, hunxi made a really good argument regarding non-sinophone audiences, but it really irks me, because this is the same as:
an instagram influencer saying they’ll give a restaurant exposure for free to their followers, if they get a free meal
it’s par for par - danmei authors wants earnings, popularity, tangible results that show that they are succeeding. this is life. if i put something out there for sale, i better be getting returns, simple economic logic. they probably don’t care that a non-paying reader is bringing them greater ‘exposure’ - once again, i mean this objectively. 
and yes if they’re thriving without the international market then why should it matter that people are pirating right? which brings me to the next point~
(5) it’s fan translators faults for so many people pirating, and fan translators are the ones doing the “illegal” work: this one is like... wow where do i unpack this and how-
firstly, we are talking about assholes who can pay but decide to free ride and not pay for danmei, and we assume that if you really cannot afford and have to pirate, no one’s saying anything as long as you don’t go around spreading how to pirate, how the hell did it get to fan translators from “you guys are anti-poor” and whatever
yes, fan translations are indeed illegal, i don’t deny that, and i also don’t deny that there are translators who translate for clout and popularity but putting these aside - here’s what i have seen from people who ran their mouths and made this argument
“if you guys care about us pirating the book so much than fan translators shouldn’t have translated in the first place” and “if you wanna come after us for reading illegally, then fan translators, you guys should go get the copyright for the book and then translate it cuz what you guys are doing is also illegal”
hooooo i’m telling ya, i am all for translators locking up their translations at this point. see how fucking hurtful that is? you eat from my hand and then now you biting at the hand that fed you the gays in love?
honestly if you’ve made this argument or supported this, you can basically go to hell. yes this is personal because what, you think fan translators don’t take out their personal time and effort and hard work to make translations accessible to you? if you’re ever consumed and read translations, don’t be a hypocrite and make this argument. you benefitted from it, now you wanna say it’s their fault? 
most translators want to share and spread the love they have for a novel right, want to show you how wonderful all these authors are, how much enjoyment u get from reading these wonderfully thought out stories of gays in love. yes we all know we are illegally translating, which is why on top of sharing we first, purchase the novels legally ourselves first, and then we try to encourage people to buy etc. and actually put their money to use. it doesn’t make it any less illegal, but we are bridging the gap between danmei and basically the english-speaking fandom, albeit illegally
we aren’t that self-important to ask for gratefulness but some respect would be nice. like i said, you read it, you consumed it, you enjoyed it, you can only access it because of illegal translators - a bit counter-intuitive to yell at these translators, who are simply telling you, if you can, please support. and none of us went “if you cannot afford, begone!”
===
🔺 some people tried to help by offering jjwxc credits so people who cannot afford as they say, can get legal access: honestly, just take it right, guess what some of these users did in response
they said the people giving away credits are trying to redeem themselves for their comments by giving away free stuff
they also said that we are trying to shame the people who cannot afford it with this handout to them, to show that they are the bigger person - the fact that they think this is a handout to them is TELLING. the people offering this is giving their money not to these readers, but to the authors! that’s the point of this exercise!!!
one of them even said “instead of trying to do these giveaways, here, there are greater world problems out there, donate instead to these causes” - love the initiative, but how did we get from being able to afford danmei and entertainment content to saving the world? i just- i cannot
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🔺 so why i get why fan translators are locking up their translations, because wow, so hurtful:
you have no idea how many fucking assholes went “sure, lock up your translations, deal with the consequences” - ermmmm firstly, thanks for making a threat. like who the fuck do you think you are?
the consequences is... the authors still don’t get the money these free riders weren’t going to give them anyway, so no loss, and they weren’t reading on jjwxc anyway so you know, the authors don’t lose or gain any readership numbers or traffic they didn’t already have. instead, it WILL push and force people to pay for the PRODUCT. once again, it’s a product.
this works, and i’d say Word of Honor’s payment model worked marvellously for Youku, because they fucking forced everyone to pay to access content. ALL OF THEM. sure ok some people still pirated it, but how many MORE people paid on Youku, on Youku Youtube, watched on Viki etc. than if they didn’t? even english-speaking fandom were wracking their brains trying to purchase a Youku pass even if there were no subs initially - and other examples that lovely hunxi brought up in her amazing piece
and for translators?! honestly me for one, i’m glad i don’t feel pressured anymore to churn out a chapter every week since we get called names etc. most of us are glad to have a break to be honest. we’ve lost all motivation to translate because it’s a free service, at the very least we don’t expect like hate, or rudeass fuckers. for those who are doing a proof of purchase thing - go for it honestly! 
hopefully it’ll minimize the free rider problem - some people for whatever reasons really cannot buy or support legally, that’s totally cool and they don’t have to justify it, i get that. but for others making the same argument but obviously are just unwilling to pay because they can’t read chinese, think it’s too troublesome when there are guides and translators provide it for free anyway so what’s the point - we all make concessions and make decisions to grab what we like (not talking about the ppl who have their various troubles and difficulties!)
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🔺 and those who are saying why is it the ‘rest of us suffer’ from locked translations just because of a few bad apples:
IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. where the hell were all of ya when we were getting called illegal huh? it’s about us fan translators getting shot at for no reason, and then people still demanding things for free. i don’t see any of the people i’ve seen on tumblr complain about fan translators stopping or locking translations defend any of us in any way. instead, you’re complaining.
it is the translator’s prerogative to start, stop and end translations, unless of course the original author starts to sue i suppose. i see people on tumblr going like if they were gonna do this, they shouldn’t have started in the first place etc. - i don’t what world you live in, but when i do something for free, then get called names and am attacked or get dictated on how i should do something that’s already like free, i tend to be less generous.
i’m sorry, do us illegal and free translators owe ANY OF YOU? i wasn’t aware any of us were being paid for this hobby. readers, especially those who CAN and just refuse to support, don’t get to say SHIT. translators deal with so much shit and so many entitled readers, i say they get to lock whatever they want as long as they aren’t profiting off of this monetarily.
let me give you an example - nan chan, which is translated by lian yin, completed translations by the way for all chapters. it is all free for viewing, and she only locked up one extra and asked for proof of payment. some dumbfuck quotes that locked up extra chapter tweet and said “honestly, this turned me off reading this novel because they restricted access”.
the. fucking. entitlement. the whole of nan chan is free, that’s like what more than 80 chapters. she locked up the EXTRA and the money goes to the author, she doesn’t earn anything. AND HERE THAT BIJ is (yes, i’m going to call them names because you know, fucking asshole who didn’t bother to check) going “yeah i didn’t wanna read because 1/80+ chapters were locked”. 
AN EXTRA. LITERALLY AN EXTRA!!!!!!
at the end of the day, translators are not like DYING to translate, not like some of you are DYING to read the translations. once again, this isn’t a “BE GRATEFUL” message, it’s a please be respectful to the people who put in time and hard work for free and share the goodness ya know? what’s the use of yelling at fan translators as if we owe you anything?
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🔴🔴🔴 TOO LONG DIDN’T READ 🔴🔴🔴
some people may need really need to pirate - and no one needs to justify why they cannot afford to purchase etc. pirating happens all the time, translators only hope that when you can, and in whatever way you can, to support legally - in general we don’t ask and we get it! we’re just annoyed that some people think that it SHOULD BE FREE, when it is a paid product, especially for those who CAN afford it
readers are not entitled to shit on translators for what they do with their translations - once again, you’re not OBLIGATED to have it. so what if i start and stop? i’m the one doing the work, i get the only say. don’t be a hypocrite and shit on translators, whose works you’ve read - it’s no loss for translators, we read and enjoy danmei just fine
yes, fan translations are illegal, but you can’t read and enjoy them like some of you have, and then turn around and point the finger at translators - a lot of us are happy to stop translating - this isn’t a threat, but at the end of the day, shitting on translators simply decreases access, and sure, some people can indeed live with you know, MTL or shitty translations from people who’ve learnt chinese for only six months or whatever, but you’re gonna be reading an entirely different book tbh
the people saying illegal translators are at fault - funnily enough, most of them consume the translations, so what the fuck? i mean we know it’s illegal, we’re trying to share the love and trying to minimize the illegalities of it by redirecting people to hopefully support legally. it’s still illegal yes, but i think it’s hypocritical for people who have read translations, stab translators in the back. and now that translators are indeed ‘restricting’ and ‘removing’ their ‘illegal translations’, yall yelling again? and threatening?
fan translators aren’t “elitist” or “classist” - just looking for some respect in a community which seems to have taken them for granted, and also looking for support for their fave authors - and honestly a lot of us were caught in the crossfires truly, don’t be an asshole and demand things from fan translators - who are you talking about? do you know why they decided to lock? do you know know what their locking system is like and what for? 
it’s not EASY to lock the translations up - it’s more admin work, it’s putting together a whitelist of people, if given the choice i’m sure translators would prefer to share everything. but not when there are assholes who have a comment on how they should translate etc. and yeah!!! calling us illegal!! i mean we are but still!!
the last straw was seeing that post on tumblr and people in the comments going like fan translators shouldn’t or should do something, without getting the whole picture, without even considering how hard it is for fan translators being caught in this situation. 
whoever puts in the work gets to decide, and everyone else should leave them alone. 
be nice to the people who really cannot afford as they say so (or just don’t think about it), be nice to the translators feeding you content, and the people who free ride and shit on translators - honestly, i’d say ready the pitchforks.
edit: i forgot to mention this is my hot take and i’ve tried to like present all the arguments i’ve seen so far. i’m definitely not doing all of it justice and i don’t claim to speak on behalf of any of them except maybe one or two- and i’ve definitely left out stuff, but anyway, lmao we’re just tiny people doing what we love. i wish we could solve you know inequality or poverty or hunger or other pressing concerns. if i was that great i wouldn’t be stuck on tumblr or twitter or have to make posts like these like a loser.
thanks for coming to my ted talk.
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makeste · 3 years
Text
BnHA Chapter 317: My Boy Was Just Like Me
Previously on BnHA: AFO randomly blew up Lady Nagant as a good reminder of why you should never make a deal with this fucking guy, smdh. Hawks was all “well if it isn’t my two best friends, Deku and Lady Nagant, both of whom I respect and love tremendously.” Everyone was all “??” and Horikoshi was all “shh... just pretend” because it was too embarrassing for him to admit that he forgot to write a couple of set-up flashbacks I guess. Anyway so Hawks got Lady to tell them where AFO was hiding out, and everyone said goodbye to her and Overhaul, who never did get to see his boss (sorry buddy, I’ll send you a vial of my tears in the mail), and headed out to a house in the woods. AFO was all “hello Deku :) :) it sure is fun making you suffer :) :) :) anyways this is a trap”, and blew up the house. Yeah, we all here are getting reaaaaaaaal tired of your shit, AFO.
Today on BnHA: The Hawksquad and Edgeplatoon meet in a warehouse and are all “what should we do about the fact that everything sucks?” Mt. Lady is all “here’s a thought, what if we tried battling AFO with more than six people.” Hawks and Endeavor are all “great initiative, but just a friendly reminder that our friends also suck and would probably betray Deku which would suck further still.” Shouto is all “ANSWER THE PHONE DAD” and Endeavor is all “[IRONICALLY DOESN’T ANSWER THE PHONE].” Meanwhile over in Sadtown, capital of Sadland Prefecture, Japan, Deku is all “All Might, as you can clearly see I am completely fine and good, never been better in fact, definitely not caught up in the throes of an epic mental breakdown which is shutting me down emotionally, anyway so on that note I would like to leave you now goodbye!!” All Might is all “[can’t actually form any words because he’s too distraught].” Fandom is all “o(╥﹏╥)o.” Horikoshi is all “(*^-’) 乃 [pew pew finger guns and barrel rolls into the darkness].”
sweet jesus lord
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this literally doesn’t even look like Deku anymore?? this looks like Dark!Deku who shows up to fight you in that one room in the Water Temple. he looks like he’s about to crawl out of my television set and murder me with his psychic powers good lord
holy shit lmao Horikoshi is really just shrugging his shoulders and resolving last week’s cliffhanger with a single line of dialogue
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fire is no one’s weakness. idk what other options you’ve got, AFO, but you’re gonna have to go back to the drawing board. maybe try bees or something. I’m just saying. we’re all expecting fire at this point but nobody is expecting bees
anyway so now they’re all sitting in some warehouse somewhere chatting about it I guess. shoutout to Horikoshi for finally giving my man Edgeshot some more dialogue at long last
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well, Edgeshot, to answer your question, she exploded. so naturally she’s fine
nah just kidding, Hawks says she won’t be able to help them out much because she’s recovering from being exploded. this is the part where we all ignore the fact that Hawks got set on fire for like a full ten minutes back during the War arc and was only in the hospital for a day. anyways enjoy your temporary plot hiatus Nagant
man there’s a lot of dialogue here and I’m trying to figure out where to insert commentary but it’s kinda difficult lol. basically, Edge and the others are saying that they should gather up the other remaining heroes and get them all caught up on the whole OFA situation. which, hmmmm
like on the one hand, these guys definitely aren’t going to cut it on their own, so it’s a reasonable suggestion on the face of it. but on the other hand, do we really want to entrust the OFA secret to a bunch of other people, most of whom shat the bed during the War arc to be quite frank? is it really worth the additional risk? especially given that any one of them might go spilling the beans to the public -- or worse, betray them to AFO??
also just a quick side note here, Mt. Lady’s character development never ceases to delight me. she’s become so committed to her responsibility as a hero these days, and it fucking suits her. I genuinely consider to be one of the elites now. I mean it doesn’t hurt that all the other elites are fucking dead lol but still
wait what? Death Arms retired??
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Death Arms as in the guy who was too afraid of a little fire to try and save a terrified 14-year-old kid who was slowly suffocating right before his eyes?? that Death Arms???? color me surprised. shocked, I tell you
...okay but holy fuck
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Death Arms. bro. my expectations for you were low but holy shit. like I’m sorry, but I don’t even have it in me to try and pretend like I feel the slightest bit of sympathy for him or Old Man Samurai or any of those other guys today. thanks for a whole lot of nothing my dude. good riddance
(ETA: so I’m rereading this the next day and realize this comes off as kind of harsh, so let me just try to clarify. it’s not the fact that he’s quitting that bothers me, to be honest. it’s the fact that he’s quitting specifically because he feels like the public is being mean to him. that’s it.
seriously. it would be one thing if he was quitting because he was scared, because now that is human. nobody wants to die, and I doubt any amount of training can ever fully prepare someone to go up against that fear. but the thing is, he never once mentions that, or talks about the danger aspect. instead, I got the distinct vibe from this speech that Death Arms is one of those people who only became a hero because of the limelight. and I just don’t have any patience for that. if all you care about are likes and subscribes then go become a fucking youtuber or some shit. nothing wrong with that! but you didn’t; you signed up to be a hero and protect these people. they gave you their respect and admiration because they trusted you to protect them. and now that they’re no longer in the mood to worship and applaud your every move on account of them being scared shitless because they’re living in the literal end times, you decide to dip. so like okay, fine then. don’t let the door hit you on the way out. anyways lol sorry for the rant.)
anyway so yeah. perfect example of why I don’t exactly have a ton of faith in most of the remaining heroes out there lol. also let me just once again give a shoutout to my best girl Mt. Lady whom I suddenly find myself appreciating all the more
“please calm down makeste. drink some water and enjoy this fresh new jeans pun” listen Horikoshi don’t tell me what to do dammit
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fine. it is a nice pun, I guess
-- damn so now Endeavor’s saying that the media is already being fed info by the retired heroes. so for some of these guys it wasn’t enough for them to abandon all the people they swore to protect and to leave their fellow heroes out in the cold; they decided they might as well actively make things worse for them while they were at it, huh. like I get wanting to spill all the dirty secrets from your old job that you just quit, but this isn’t Jeff Bezos you’re screwing over, this is a sixteen-year-old kid
-- like, yes!! this, right here!!
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exactly!! let’s not forget that there are already two prior instances of this happening. Endeavor arguably deserved it, but Katsuki not so much
huh. Endeavor seems to have a more optimistic outlook regarding this than I do lol
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I mean, this is the same public that didn’t hesitant to blame a kidnapped child for his own kidnapping, and then later on for being the downfall of the Symbol of Peace. but okay then
anyway so blah blah blah, more talk about how they need to use Deku as bait, which basically puts them back at square one, and then they’re all just trailing off into silence and sitting around in the dark lmao this is getting very depressing
SKDJFLSDKJ:LFKJ
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SHOUTO?????
NOOOOOOOO ARE YOU KIDDING ME
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OH HOW THE TURNTABLES OMG. THE GHOSTER HAS BECOME THE GHOSTEE. Endeavor you petty son of a bitch. and what a brutal cut to that flashback too. “let’s stop Touya together” nah Shouto I’ve got a better idea why don’t I abandon you in U.A. and sally off with Hawks and Jeanist to found the “let’s pretend like we’re doing something to help Deku” club, which basically consists of us sitting around making terrible decisions all day long
Shouto, honey. you deserve better my little Coca Cola can. .........but if you really do have something important you need to tell your dad you could just text it to him. all the love and support, hugs and kisses, you’re doing amazing sweetie. but if you need to pass on any vital information you can just write it down and hit send honey that’s all I’m saying love
now he’s getting another call?? -- or, no, Hawks is getting a call from All Might
ARE YOU FOR REAL HAWKS OMFG
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so while you all were sitting around talking about how useless you are, the kid you’re supposed to be protecting was battling another hired gun. I see. please pardon me for one second, I have a phone call to make. the phone call is to RockLockRock and Manual. the reason for the call is to apologize for calling them the worst bodyguards ever back during the War arc. the reason for the apology is because it turns out I WAS SEVERELY MISTAKEN OMFG
JESUS CHRIST DEKU DID YOU JUST KILL THIS MAN LMAO
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shoutout to Horikoshi for offscreening this fight. we get it, lol. Deku strong and scary, villains ineffectual and feeble, and AFO... [checks notes] yep, still a dick. the angst arc continues
-- the angst arc continues, SIR
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jesus christ I may have to rethink all of my opinions about Deku being framed for murder in movie 3 lmao. never mind. he did it, your honor
holy fucking shit Deku. “he might blow up, so please be careful” fdlskjflk jlskdjflk lwkejflk anyway so I’ve decided the explosion running gag can stay, actually
DEKU WAIT YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH!!
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lol why do I get the feeling some serious shit is about to go down. ALL MIGHT NEVER MIND BACK OFF I THINK HE NEEDS HIS SPACE
OH MY FUCK I GASPED OUT LOUD
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NO NO NO. I KNEW THIS WAS COMING GODDAMMIT BUT NO. NEVER MIND, I CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT IT, I’M NOT READY TO CRY TODAY
shit. shit shit shit shit and OF COURSE all I can fucking think about is that stupid fucking prophecy and gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Deku please. please please please if you really are going to leave All Might here, please be so very careful in choosing your farewell words to him now because have this sudden horrible fear that this might be the last time you ever see him alive and oh god. oh god oh god
DEKU NO, YOU’RE REALLY NOT!?!?
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I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE LESS FINE IN MY LIFE, ACTUALLY????
holy shit. and the fucking callback to the prophecy now. just in case we forgot. WHICH FYI, WE DIDN’T. but that’s basically confirming that this is all still very much on the table and HORIKOSHI NEVER FORGETS oh my god someone please hold me
and the fact that Deku’s flashing back to it now too, though?? because he never forgot either, because of course he didn’t, and now all this stuff is happening, and AFO’s words are getting to him, and this is literally his worst fear come to life and so of course he’s distancing himself from everyone, and now it’s finally come to even this. even the person he admires most
-- OKAY NO, FUCKING COME ON ALREADY I CAN’T TAKE THIS
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I GET IT OH MY GOD, I ALREADY UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF THIS MOMENT WITHOUT ALL OF THE DEVASTATING FLASHBACKS THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!! YOU ACTUALLY DO WANT ME TO CRY, HUH, IS THAT IT. THIS MAN THAT HE THINKS OF AS A FATHER, THIS MAN WHO HAS BEEN EVERYTHING TO HIM SINCE HE WAS A VERY YOUNG CHILD. EVERYTHING THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH, JUXTAPOSED AGAINST EVERYTHING DEKU IS UP AGAINST, EVERYTHING THAT’S AT RISK. LET’S JUST PUT IT ALL SIDE BY SIDE. LET’S JUST PILE ON ALL OF THE FEELS
(ETA: just a quick note that even though some of the posts I’ve read have described these as All Might’s flashbacks, I’m pretty sure they are Deku’s. most of these are scenes that only he was there for, so yeah. even though All Might is the one thinking the thoughts on the next page, the flashbacks are what’s running through Deku’s mind right now, and so we’re getting that emotion from both of them, which makes it extra devastating lol.)
wait, what???
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WHAT??? do you really think that’s why he’s been so determined to protect you this entire time?? simply because you’re his successor?
-- oh no wait lol I think I got that mixed up, this is All Might saying that Deku feels the need to protect him. well that makes more sense lol
oh my god I cannot
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his last words. his last words to him. and we can’t even see if he is smiling, like All Might always encouraged him to do. but what are the odds he can’t actually bring himself to do it. what are the odds he’s actually crying. oh god this scene is going to rip my heart out and STOMP on it in the anime isn’t it. Deku’s VA is going to full on murder me with emotion. not that there’ll be much of me left to murder after the thorough job that Horikoshi has already done here
YOU’RE CRYING. DEKU IS LEAVING ALL MIGHT AND IGNORING HIS OUTSTRETCHED HAND AND YOU’RE CRYING. AND BY “YOU” I MEAN “ME”, FUCK
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nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope no words just feels just a big ol’ pile of feels. I do not have the strength. future me... [broadly gestures] good luck with all that
(ETA: LOL, WELL THEN.
what breaks my heart here is All Might. All Might, and everything he’s been through, and history repeating itself, and forcing him to live this moment from both sides because he wasn’t strong enough to fix things.
Toshinori had only just turned eighteen when Nana died. like, I feel like we don’t mention this enough. the All Might we know is a sixty-something-year-old man, and so everyone always talks about him like he’s basically been an adult forever. but he was a child when he met Nana. and he was still just a child when she died. barely a year older than Deku is now. younger than Mirio was when we first met him.
and we don’t talk about that. we don’t talk about how devastating that was for him. and we don’t talk about how the reason he grew up to become so reserved and withdrawn -- for all that he always tried so hard to outwardly project the image of a bold, confident, smiling hero -- was specifically because of what AFO did to him. because AFO targeted him in the exact way that he is now targeting Deku. because that’s what he does. he goes after every new user of OFA, and he finds out what’s most important to them, and then he destroys it. and for Toshinori, that was Nana. if you’ve read All Might Rising, you know that AFO basically killed her in front of him (and only killed her, while letting Toshinori and Gran get away). Toshinori (while crying) later says she was like a mother to him. and interestingly enough, during this same conversation, Gran tells Toshinori that he can see “that madness in [his] eyes” when Toshi talks about becoming strong enough to defeat AFO. madness in his eyes. sound familiar??
what’s happening to Deku now is the exact same thing that happened to Toshinori when he was a boy. AFO tried every bit as hard to break him as he’s trying with Deku now. “the path you’ve chosen is a thorny one. every battle grinds away at your soul with no end in sight.” we don’t talk about how Toshinori experienced this same thing for forty fucking years. and all the while isolating himself, exactly like Deku is doing now. pushing people away, exactly like Deku. because he never had anyone who was able to reach out and pull him back. and those words that he now finds himself frozen and unable to speak -- “don’t push yourself”; “you can rest” -- are the same words that no one ever said to him until decades later, when it was already far too late to make any difference.
everything that Deku is experiencing now is what Toshinori also went through. and it’s only now, as he watches it happen to his student, the boy he loves like a son, that he’s finally starting to realize the full extent of how wrong it was. you shouldn’t have to fight alone. you shouldn’t have to bear that kind of enormous burden alone. you shouldn’t have to push yourself, and you can rest. you can rest.
but it’s too late. just as he’s finally coming to understand it all, it’s all too fucking late. and he can’t say the words, he doesn’t know how to say the words, and then just like that, Deku is gone.
and he’s alone. again.)
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I can’t. this can’t be their goodbye. I’m not ready. for this to be how they finally part, and then they never see each other again except in OFA. how is that fair. how is that fair. how is that fair
fuck me. lol. how many pages are left in this thing. let’s just wrap this up lol. so now of all the times for this fucking guy to finally show up
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I can’t believe Stain has been here literally this entire time hiding behind this random wall and cutting onions. that was you who was cutting the onions, right. no need to answer that we’ll just say it was
HORIKOSHI JUST END THE CHAPTER PLEASE I’M OUT OF SPOONS. YOU HURT ME SO GOOD AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT BUT YOU NEED TO LET ME GO NOW SO I CAN BEGIN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO PUT MY LIFE BACK IN ORDER HERE. SO WHERE ARE WE CUTTING TO NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING
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Stain did you also let AFO give you a new quirk. what’s with you guys. do you like blowing up
oh nvm lol because they were talking about THIS GUY ohhhhhh my fucking god
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THAT’S BECAUSE HE’S SAD, LINDA!! jesus
omfg. and so yes, good, the chapter is ending here now on page 15. for once I am FULLY on board with that lmao
anyway so tune in next week for more adventures of Werewolf Deku!! that is, assuming we don’t finally cut back to U.A. at long last, which is actually a strong possibility considering that this chapter will likely mark the end of volume 31. it sure wouldn’t kill Horikoshi to start giving us some hope after everything he’s just put us through lol. KACCHAN COME GET YA BOY
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loserholland · 3 years
Text
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟? | 𝐁.𝐁
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Pairing ➺ TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Warning ➺ Nothing but fluff
Word Count ➺ 4.7k
Summary ➺ You have your doubts about going on a blind date, the past few dates you had been stood up. You just hope this guy doesn’t stand you up like the rest, but it turns out Bucky has doubts too.
A/N ➺ Kinda based off of “When he see’s me” I got the idea from when I was listening to the song, some parts of the song will be featured. This is set during tfatws timeline, but slight episode 1 spoiler! Please feel free to comment, reblog, send feedback <3 always appreciated! Maybe a part two? idk yet lol
✿ 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ✿ - @loveyathreethousand @killerqueen-gunpowdergelatine @spideyyypeter @lou-la-lou@babebenhardy @rivervixenbaby @acklesholland @zabdisamor @keepingupwiththehollands @sweet666pea @sspider-parker @jackiehollanderr @caro0512 @thewinchesterchronicles @cporter003 @kisses-holland @spideysnugget @cryszus @sunflowerharrystyles @peterunderoos @ohbabycal @laucontrerasv @spider-mendes @jessybellsworld @quaksonhehe​ @dummiesshort​
☞  Masterlist  ☜
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𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘜𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯'𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘎𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵? (𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵?)
“No! We’re not doing this again!” 
Nyiah groaned loudly following her friend out the door, the moment she said “A friend of mine wants me to set you up with his friend.” (Y/N) had ran out the door not wanting to hear the rest of what she had to say, only because Nyiah didn’t have such a great streak when it came to setting her up on blind dates.   
A few heads had turned in the cubicles but quickly shrugged it off turning their attention back to their computer screens. She hastily walked to the restroom wanting to lock herself in a stall an away from her friend, well only friend in the office. (Y/N) had moved to New York before the blip happened, and well it when it did happen she was sitting in on a meeting when she noticed everyone slowly began to disintegrate. She remembers attempting to call her parents before everything just went dark, then five years later she’s back where she was everyone running frantically around her.
Pushing the door open she quickly rushed into a stall sliding the lock across before slumping her body against the door letting out a sigh of relief an also trying to catch her breath. She honestly doesn’t remember why she agreed to going on these dates, she simply could say no. But, I guess being twenty-six and constantly questioned by her family about having someone in her life pushed her to go on these dates. She has been in New York for nearly six years now, and never really had a serious relationship since she’s been in the city. Before leaving California, she had broken up with her boyfriend of two years not wanting to do the whole long distance thing. 
𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘖𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘉𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴
That’s when Nyiah began to set her up on these blind dates saying “It’s time to get out there again! Everyone’s back you have an entire sea of men!”. The only thing she hated about blind dates, not knowing who the person is. Sure that’s the whole point of the date but, she likes knowing what she’s getting into. Searching them up on social media, getting as much information as them as possible to see what type of person she’s going to be sitting with for an hour or two.
“(Y/N)!”
Nyiah peeked her head over the stall peering down at (Y/N), the sudden noise caused her to flinch, she didn’t even hear her come in?! She looked down to see she had taken her heels off and was pretty sure she was standing on the toilet seat. 
“That is very unsanitary.” 
Nyiah looked down at her feet then back over the stall, “I’m standing on two toilet seat covers I should be fine.” (Y/N) scoffed lightly  unlocking the the door watching as Nyiah stepped down from the toilet rushing out to corner (Y/N) before she left. 
She pressed her lips into a thin line glaring at her friend, the last few two never even made their way through the door. Most of the waitresses took pity on you before you left they had offered free dessert for you to take home saying it was on the house, and how no one deserves to be stood up.
“Please- remember my friend Sam? He said he wants to set his friend up with you! This isn’t my idea, he asked me to ask you!”
Sam? She briefly remembers meeting him, he seemed like a nice guy- from what she had collected the few times they met. And well he is an avengers and a literal hero to New York City and well the entire world.
𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘐𝘧 𝘐'𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘦? 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦?
“Nyiah-” she paused rubbing her temples with her middle and thumb finger, “The last two dates my date didn’t even show up! How do I know that Sam’s friend won’t do the same?” it always felt so humiliating, sitting there in the middle of the dining room waiting for the person to show up only and not even answering any messages you sent.
Nyiah sighed, “I’ve met him once or twice he’s nice.”
𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘖𝘳 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘉𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘏𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧
(Y/N) sighed, “Nice doesn’t cut it Nyiah, how do I know he won’t be like the first two? The first one felt like I was doing some kind of interview- all he talked about was himself.” She had gone out with one of Nyiah’s close friends Brandon, he seemed like a sweet guy till he made it their date all about him leaving no room for her to talk.
𝘏𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦
“The second one was getting too close- he didn’t even know what personal space was! I went to the restroom for five minutes just to be in my own space!” Nyiah frowned slightly remembering how (Y/N) called saying she was about to just pay for the check and leave because Joshua didn’t know how to just give anyone space.
𝘖𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘖𝘳 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘖𝘳𝘦𝘰𝘴 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵
"I just-” she paused for a second swiping her tongue against her bottom lip. Doubt, was eating up at her. Doubt in herself and Nyiah. Mostly herself, she wanted to find the confidence to go on this date.
𝘐𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘪𝘵? (𝘈𝘩) 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯? (𝘈𝘩)
“I just don’t want to disappoint myself again, if not myself then my date too- what if the reason why they don’t even make it through the door is because they see me and I don’t know they don’t like how I look?” 
The last date she had last week, she had gotten his number through Nyiah. She had arrived about thirty minutes early and when she had texted him if he was on the way, he never texted back. That takes a toll on your heart and mind, constantly questioning if you’re good enough.
𝘐𝘧 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘮𝘦, 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬? (𝘈𝘩) 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 (𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵?)
“I’m afraid.”
(Y/N) had every right to feel that way, every right to question whether or not she should say yes to her friend. She had every right to feel afraid after the last few dates not showing up, she had every right to also say no.
"(Y/N/N), this guy won’t do what the others did to you. Plus I shouldn’t call him a guy he’s moreover a man, like I said I don’t want to giveaway who he is but he’s a gentlemen, quiet at first but once you start talking to him- he’ll open up.” 
𝘚𝘰, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦, 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭-𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸 𝘚𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘰𝘰
She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment rethinking what Nyiah had just said. She didn’t want to make the decision just yet, she needed the night to think about it. The last four dates she jumped right into it, and well missed a few steps when the date arrived. This time she wanted to be careful, she didn’t want to disappoint herself again.
“I need time to think about it.” 
The brunette nodded, “Take all the time you need. Sam still needs to ask his friend anyway.” 
Later that night she had called her sister in hopes she had some advice for her, yet it turned out to be the opposite. Pacing around her living room she held her phone to her ear, “You should go- don’t let the past four dates define how this one will turn out.” (Y/N) huffed lightly moving to seat on her couch, “Yeah but, have you been stood up before?” 
Her sister moved around the kitchen waving her hands at her kids to settle down at the dining room table, “You’re using your aggressive tone on me- you called me remember?” (Y/N) pulled the phone away from her ear lifting her free hand and flipping off her phone. 
“And now you’re flipping me off, you’re getting defensive cause you know I’m right.” 
She pulled the phone back to her ear, “I’m not defensive! I’m simply being cautious.. plus I don’t know don’t you think it’s a sign? What if he’s all the like rest.” 
“(Y/N), you and your what if’s, just- take the night to sleep on it. I’m sure if Nyiah has met him and her friend thought of setting you two up, he won’t be like the rest.” 
What she didn’t know was that certain someone she may be going on a date with was having the same exact conversation as her, unsure if he should go out on a date. 
“A what?” 
Sam pressed his lips into a thin line staring at Bucky with a “you heard what I said so stop pretending you didn’t hear me.” look. He had presented the idea of setting Bucky up on a blind date. 
The last date he went on was with Leah, a girl at the restaurant he and Yori had gone to eat lunch at. Yori had set the date up, that was his first date in eighty years and since that date he hasn’t gone on another.
Bucky had tried online dating, he had downloaded tinder matched with a couple of people till they started texting “DTF” and of course being a 106 years old he didn’t know what that meant. Sam had spent five minutes laughing in his face before telling him what it meant, which lead him to delete the app. When he had told Sam he deleted the app, that’s when he contacted Nyiah asking if (Y/N) was still single and if she was willing to go on a date with Bucky. 
"Who is this girl anyway?”
“Woman.”
“What?” 
“Woman.” 
“Why do you keep saying Woman? Answer my question!”
Sam mentally face palmed himself, sometimes Bucky’s true age shows from time to time- damn fossil. He also needed to teach him a thing or two about modern day flirting.
“Girl makes it seem as if you’re going on a date with a teenager. So woman sounds a lot better, and to answer your question I can’t tell you her name that’s the whole point of a blind date. But, I’ve met her once or twice, She’s beautiful and nice.” 
“So I’m suppose to be okay with this because you’ve met her once or twice and because she’s ‘beautiful’ and ‘nice’.” 
Sam sighed lightly, “Look Buck, you need to get out there instead of being cooped up in your apartment. She’s a good friend of a friend of mine, remember Nyiah?”
Nyiah- oh yes she was the loud woman. Bucky noticed how flustered Sam got whenever Nyiah was around- he could tease him about that later. 
“I went on one date like a month ago and tried tinder out- you know how that went.”
He couldn’t help but feel worried, not because it’s been so long but he was worried that they’ll find out about his past. About how he has a vibranium arm or that apart of his past that he tried so hard to forget about, he was worried they would know he use to be an ex-assassin. He didn’t want them to run away once he opened up about his past- if he would ever open up about his past.
Sam could sense that he was worried he placed a hand on his shoulder, “She’s not one to judge Buck, I told you she’s really nice. I’m sure she won’t run at the sight of you, unless you continue to stare her down-
Bucky glared slightly causing a chuckle to pass Sam’s lips, “This is only a blind date, you determine whether or not you want to have a second or a third, or a forth. Right now it’s just one- and I’m sure you won’t regret it.”
The sound of her phone ringing woke her up from her deep slumber, she lifted her arm reaching forward towards the night stand in search for her phone tugging the charger off and swiped to accept the call before she missed it. 
“Hello?” 
“Nyiah! So I spent some time thinking-”
Nyiah pulled the phone away from her ear squinting to look at the time, 2:47 AM. Placing the phone back to her ear she sighed, “I’ll go on the date.” this caused Nyiah to sit up surely waking her up, “Are you serious?” asking in disbelief she pulled the phone away from her ear again checking that she was talking to (Y/N).
“Are you serious or am I dreaming?”
“I’m serious- I talked to Gen and she said that I shouldn’t let the past four dates define this one so- I’m willing to go on this date.” 
Nyiah squealed loudly surely waking up the person who was sleeping next to her, “What is it the voice?” the voice mumbled causing (Y/N) to raise her brow in confusion, “So- who are you with right now?” Nyiah’s eyes widen slightly looking down at the half- asleep figure in her bed.
“No one! Well, I’ll tell Sam in the morning, is it okay if the date is at 6 today?”
“Yeah that’s fine- now answer my-”
“Great I’ll come by later to help you out with outfits! Good night!”
She placed her phone back on the charger before turning her attention back to the sleeping person next to her, “Sam! Sam!” she shook her quickly, “(Y/N) said yes! So tell James first thing in the morning!” 
𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘪𝘵?
(Y/N) felt her stomach turn, she felt so nervous. Nervous that she was going to have to deal with the embarrassment of being stood up yet again, Nyiah had raided her closet in search for the perfect dress before pulling out a beautiful baby blue midi dress. The last time she wore that dress was to her sister’s wedding.
She didn’t feel this nervous for the past four dates, why does this one feel different? Maybe because Nyiah gave more of a description of what this guy looked like, maybe it was because after talking to her sister, drinking half a bottle of red wine, and weighing out the pros and cons at one in the morning fueled her to want to go on this date and make an effort. 
“What if-”
Nyiah made a weird “Ngh” noise to stop her from finishing her sentence, “No more what if’s, I told you. This one is going to be different, trust me.” (Y/N) snorted loudly, “I hope you’re right- and maybe now you can tell me who you were sharing a bed with.” 
A pink tint painted the brunette’s cheeks, “It was Sam.” she mumbled causing (Y/N) to gasp loudly, “Sam? No way! Wow- took you two long enough.” she had remembered all the times Nyiah would call her drunk talking about how much she wanted to jump Sam’s bones or go flying around with him. 
She sighed lightly, fixing up her hair one last time, applying a little bit on mascara and lipgloss keeping it as natural as possible. Nyiah grinned widely, she knew that this date was going to be the best she knew that (Y/N) was going to for sure go on a second date. 
“Wanna know one more thing about him?” 
(Y/N) hummed in response raiding her closet for her white vans, “The color of your dress- is the color of his eyes.” That sly minx was at it again, slipping her shoes on slinging her purse around her, she took one last look the mirror. Before she parted ways with Nyiah she had said “You’re for sure going on a second date.” A part of her hoped she was right, the other part of her worried Nyiah would be wrong.
Bucky stood in front of the flower vendor looking between the different varieties, he stared at the peach roses. He glanced down at his watch, he wanted to be there at least a five minutes early, Sam had made the reservation under his name at this sushi restaurant that was in walkable distance of his apartment and his dates apartment. 
He grabbed the bouquet of peach roses handing a twenty dollar bill to the vendor mumbling keep the change before heading towards the direction of the restaurant. Gripping the bouquet in his hands, he tried to be as careful as possible not wanting to crush the stems.
From all the big steps he was taking he made it to the building in no time, stepping in to the slightly crowded restaurant due to it being nearly dinner time. Walking up the counter he looked around before speaking, “Reservation under Sam Wilson?” he watched as the host looked through the book.
“You’re the first to arrive, follow me to the booth.” he watched as the host grabbed two menus directing for Bucky to follow him. The room was filled with chatter, he felt his hand growing clammy not from the heat from the glove but from the nervousness he felt. 
“Anything I can start you off with?” 
Bucky set the flowers next to him in the booth, “Water is fine. Thank you.”
(Y/N) wiped her palms against her dress once more standing in front of the door of the restaurant, “Here goes nothing.” she whispered to herself tugging the door opened she stepped in. The room was dimly lit and full of chatter, she felt her heart beat race it felt as though it was trying to escape from her chest. 
Walking up to the host she swiped her hands down her dress once more, “Hi, reservation under Sam Wilson?” she watched as the host crossed the name off the list, “Follow me, he just got here a few minutes before you.” she could feel her heart beat in her ears, oh my god was she about to go into cardiac arrest? What the hell is happening? 
𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘢 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵? (𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘢 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥?)
Nearing the table, all she could make out what his short brunette hair finally the host stopped in front of the table motioning for you to seat, “Your server will be with you in a few moments. Please take your time to decide.” Bucky stood from his seat gripping the bouquet of flowers in his left hand, “Hi I’m James.” oh Nyiah you were right, he had beautiful cerulean eyes they resembled the ocean. She had seen these eyes before, yet she couldn’t put her finger on it.
You stuck your right hand out enclasping it with his, “Nice to meet you, I’m (Y/N).” she let go right after hoping he didn’t notice how she wiped her hand down her dress once more. Bucky felt his cheeks turn a slight pink, he looked down slightly “These are for you.” you gladly accepted the beautiful peach roses bringing it to your nose to inhale the scent.
“Thank you, they are lovely.”
Bucky motioned once more to allow her to sit in the booth first before he slipped into his seat, she stared at him her brain was eating up at her unsure of how she had seen him before.
“So, how are you?” Bucky broke the silence, lifting the menu slightly enough for him to still see her face. Sam was correct, she was beautiful. “I’m good, a little nervous. How are you?” he chuckled lightly causing (Y/N) to smile lightly “I’m actually nervous too, it’s been a while since I’ve um-” 
“Gone out on a date?” 
He nodded in agreement still scanning the menu before finally settling on what he wanted to order. “You’re friends with Sam right? How do you two know each other?” (Y/N) questioned looking up for a second before brining her attention back to the menu. A slight glint caught her eye, it was silver and around his neck. 
“We’re uh-” he cleared his throat slightly unsure of how to answer the question, “we work together.” That’s when it clicked, she remembered where she had seen those beautiful ocean eyes. She had gone to the smithsonian museum almost every weekend, visiting the same exhibit. 
“Oh my god- you’re James Buchanan Barnes!” 
Bucky was unsure if she said it out of excitement or fear.
“I read about you in the smithsonian exhibit- wow okay I sound like such a nerd. But you were so brave, wait I shouldn’t use were, because it’s not like you aren’t brave anymore, you are so brave. I need to stop talking I’m sorry.” (Y/N) rambled reaching for the cup of water to shut herself up. 
Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle nervously, “I’m sure you’ve read other things.” she was currently sitting with an ex-assassin, why wasn’t she running for the hills right now?
“Well- that the thing” she leaned forward slightly, “I’ve read what was released and well- what they did to you.. no one deserves that. I remember reading them and I remember reading the information they had at the exhibit. Those were two different people-” 
“Hi, I’m Alex I’ll be your waiter for tonight. What can I get for you two?”
The two ordered their meals, thanking the waiter as he took their menus away. Bucky stared back at (Y/N), she felt unsure if she should continue talking. “You were saying?” she looked up from her lap her mouth was slightly agape, what if I angered him in some way?
“The person I’m speaking to right now, is James Buchanan Barnes, he is from Brooklyn and served as a sergeant in the 107th division during World War II. The person who no longer exist is the winter solider, someone HYDRA controlled and wiped constantly to do their dirty deeds. You are James Buchanan Barnes, a sweet guy who bought me flowers and said yes to coming on a date with a complete nerd.” 
Bucky smiled, this was the first time no one judged him for his past, nor tried to run for the damn hills once they found out who he use to be. He noticed how she kept her head down low unsure if she had angered him or not, “Enough about me- what about you? With that accent of yours I’m guessing you’re from the west coast?”
(Y/N) lifted her head meeting the same ocean blue eyes, “California, moved here in 2017. I work at an office, that’s how I know Nyiah. Got a degree in marketing, and I have an older sister, two younger brothers.” Bucky listened to her ramble on about her life smiling ever so often whenever she would derive to a different topic.
“I was actually close to not coming on this date..”
Bucky finished chewing the sushi roll that he ordered, reaching for his glass of water to wash down the rice. “Why?” he questioned continuing to pick off the sushi that was on his plate, he watched as she refocused her attention back on her lap. 
“Well- the first two dates Nyiah had set me up on were complete disasters, the first guy talked too much, the second didn’t know what personal space was. The previous two stood me up, so- thank you for not being like any of those men.” 
“Boys.”
“Hm?”
“They weren’t men, they were boys. Especially the last two who stood you up, you’re way too beautiful to be stood up. But- I should be thanking you for not running away or judging my past.”
(Y/N) smiled, she was definitely going to ask him out on a second date.
It felt as though they have known each other forever, they had spent hours talking without realizing it was nearly closing time. Bucky had beat her to pay the bill, standing from his seat as (Y/N) did the same, “Let me walk you home.” she nodded holding the flowers close to her body.
 As they were walking home, Bucky would point out here and there about how that building use to be this or he’d point out that’s where he saved Steve from being bullied yet again. The cool breeze kissed her skin causing her to shiver lightly, Bucky shrugged off his leather jacket placing it on her shoulders. She mumbled thank you, turning her head slightly to hide the arising blush on her cheeks. 
They walked in comfortable silence she would look up every so often admiring the way the moon kissed his skin, he looked like literal art, especially with those beautiful cerulean eyes. (Y/N) stopped in her tracks looking up at her apartment building, “Well- this is me.” Bucky looked across the street and up at the building they were currently standing in front of, “Wanna know something funny?” she rose her brow slightly ushering him silently to tell her. 
“I live in that building.” 
It was ironic honestly, and somewhat like fate, “Let me walk you up.” who knew that the guy she was going to be going on a date with lived across her street the entire time, she also wondered if Nyiah knew that he lived across the street from her. Once they stood in front of her door she fished for her keys, Bucky offered to hold the flowers for her to make it easier for her to find. 
Once she unlocked the door she opened it slightly turning to look up at Bucky he handed her the bouquet back, “Thank-” they both said simultaneously (Y/N) couldn’t help but smile, “You go first-” they said again causing Bucky to chuckle. 
“Please ladies first.” 
(Y/N) smiled she really didn’t want the night to end, “Thank you for an amazing night and for the beautiful flowers. I was wondering if you were free tomorrow for breakfast preferably, I know this 40′s theme cafe if you’d like to go?”
“I was actually-”
“It’s no problem if you can’t go!” 
“No! Not no as in I can’t go- I can go it was just, I was actually planning on asking you out too but you seemed to beat me to it.” 
(Y/N) mentally face palmed herself, her damn pessimistic mind getting the best of her yet again. She could feel herself growing hot, god dammit she needs to work on being more optimistic. 
“Oh sorry- I’m just thank you again for tonight really. It turned out better than I could ever imagine.” without thinking she leaned up pressing a kiss to his cheek. Bucky stood there with wide eyes, (Y/N) wore the same expression “Uh- I’m sorry-” Bucky leaned down pressing a kiss to her cheeks as well. God they looked she was sure they were acting like two middler schoolers who got into their first relationship. 
“I’ll come by around 8?” 
She nodded, she was sure she looked like a tomato by now. 
Bucky turned on his heels making his way towards the elevator she noticed he had forgotten his jacket, “Oh James! Your jacket!” he turned around smiling, “It’s okay! You can return it tomorrow, or keep it actually looks better on you than me.” the sound of the elevator door opening filled the hallway, she watched as Bucky walked in bidding her a small wave before the metal doors closed. 
Entering her apartment, she locked the door behind her smiling from ear to ear. Bucky leaned his head agains the walls of the metal box, a huge grin painted his lips. Their friends were right, they would most definitely be going on a second date together.
She had finally met someone, who when he see’s her wants to see her again.
And he had finally met someone, who doesn’t run for the hills once they learn about his past.
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