#anyway while i don't ship sam and dean i think it's fucked up to tell people who do they should die so let's not do that ok

[sitp-recs]

Masterclass in smut 🔥

Happy Friday everyone! As promised, here’s a multishipper/multi-fandom smutty reclist with my personal wank bank favorite ships doing the nasty and being 100% unapologetic about it. I could maybe split these between 2 categories, evocative and downright problematique filth - y por que no los dos??? Naturally, everything’s (very) Explicit here. Bon Appétit my horniessss

Has the Touch by professorfangirl (Bond/Q, 007, 2k) - the sexiest, most intimate and organic smut I’ve ever read, #writing goals

Bond is good with his hands.

Slip Free of My Grasp by @lqtraintracks (Harry/Sirius, HP, 3.5k) - 1st person pov goals, sinful and redeeming at once. This Sirius holds my heart

I don't want to be bad for him. I want to do bad things and still be, somehow, inexplicably, good.

Sardines by @shiftylinguini (Scorbus + Jeddy, HP, 4k) - a masterpiece with impeccable atmosphere, no one has ever made borderline incest feel so light & playful

It’s bad enough his cock is hard from listening to the impromptu midnight pornography of his brother getting off; Albus is not going to add seeing it to the list of reasons why he lost his mind, and presumably his eyesight, on the eve of his grandmother's seventieth.

Tremolo by Lilsoshie, marose (Tony/Peter, MCU, 4.3k) - stream of consciousness smut with insatiable Tony and exhausted af Peter

“You’re gonna ride me,” Tony decides, easing his fingers free and cherishing the unhappy whine the move inspires. “Up, come on.”

The Lies We Live With by @bixgirl1 (Jeddy, HP, 5k) - peak angsty smut, just the tip has never hurt this much :(

It doesn’t really count… is almost always followed by a lie, James learns, growing up.

Honeyboy by dollylux (Wincest, Supernatural, 6k) - filthy underage semi-public incest, see y’all in hell 🤠

While John's running an errand in the backwoods in Louisiana, Sam finds a way to keep Dean occupied. (Sex kitten!Sammy and trying-so-hard-to-be-good-in-public-and-failing!Dean.)

Ravishing by Miss_Lv (Newt/Percival, Fantastic Beasts, 7.6k) - give me dead dove like this or give me nothing!!!

Theseus holds a dinner party at his home and once Newt plays his part, he escapes, unaware he has an admirer following him.

Toeing the Line by @shiftylinguini (Tedrarry, HP, 8k) - nothing gets me more into Harry/Teddy than watching Harry watch Draco fuck Teddy. Filthy & sweet but really, this is here for the brilliant title plus daddy kink

Draco wasn’t sure why watching his partner fuck Teddy until he screamed was somehow less morally iffy for Harry than just doing it himself, but Draco wasn’t about to judge. Not when he was balls deep, anyway.

Only As Directed by rageprufrock (Hartwin, Kingsman, 12k) - possessive love is knowing how to share :)

“Arthur is a bad man,” Roxy had said. “Fucking tell me about it,” Eggsy had muttered, and gone to put on the tarty trousers Harry had picked out for him like a fucking high-end pimp.

Burned Silk, Buckled Leather by @ruinsplume (Sirius/Draco, HP, 12k) - stunning catharsis smut, liberating and full of kink positivity

When Sirius discovers a down-and-out Draco Malfoy lurking around the edges of a Muggle kink club, he thinks he knows just what Draco needs. He isn't expecting to run into some long-buried needs of his own.

Euphoria by birdsofshore (Scorbus + Dralbus, HP, 22k) - my go-to wank material, dilf Draco can step on my face anytime

A fire is prickling in the pit of my belly. I feel a little like I'm watching this happening to someone else. Al's sitting there, reeking of another man's sweat and come. He looks miserable and anxious... but also well-fucked. I look at his mussed hair, his bitten lips. I've never wanted him more.

From Thy Bounty by feyrelay, natureboy (Tony/Peter, MCU, 32k) - masterclass in both building and resolving sexual tension

Tony’s eyes are always dark, but now there's almost no iris left. He looks hollowed out. There’s something terribly hungry there, despite the feast they've filled themselves on.

Sötnos by Miss_Lv (Newt/Percival, Fantastic Beasts, 37k) - exquisite world building, blows my mind every time

Newt was expelled from Hogwarts but his parents managed to get him into another school, Durmstrang. There, Newt is taken under wing by the kind Professor Graves, who teaches him everything he needs to know about making new friends.

Heart Toward the Highway by Edwardina (Jo Harvelle/John Winchester, Supernatural, 43k) - the only F/M story you’ll ever need to read, I promise

Jo, fresh out of high school, has left home and wound up on the road with John, trying to learn the ropes from someone who isn't exactly sharing and caring. John, distant and impatient, isn't really a partner, friend, or role model -- which means that Jo's gotta get all stupid and hot for him. Their stoic apprenticeship starts to unravel as Jo starts to run out of clothes and John can't ignore her anymore.

Breezeblocks by hellhoundsprey (Supernatural RPF, 59k) - I have no idea how I found this, I don’t even read RPF. if you’re into cuckolding + humiliation: it doesn’t get any better than this

After months of doubts and suspicions, Jake ends up catching his husband red-handed when he comes home early one Friday afternoon. A/B/O

#smut reclist #multi-fandom pwp #aka liv’s wank bank #check the tags lovelies!!!!

[violue]

I honestly can't tell if this post is an "obvious troll" or if I'm just hoping it is. There's a very good chance it's fake but I had to share it.

POST TEXT:

I'm sure most have heard of the CW show "supernatural". About two brothers who fight demons and monsters.

My sister was a huge fan while the show was airing. Engaged in all areas of the fandom, like, insane super fan. I never really got into it like she did but was still involved in fandom spaces.

Anyway, no beating around the bush, she was hugely into wincest (the romantic and sexual relationship between the two brothers). Wrote fic, edited youtube videos, etc. She even made like a wincest tumblr series with her ex girlfriend roleplaying as the two characters.

So you can imagine my shock when she gave birth to twins this past month and announced their names as Sam & Dean.

I was a little taken aback but hoped somewhere that it was a joke. They have three older kids who also have fandom names (not supernatural necessarily, but across fandoms) and so I wasn't really holding up hope.

I called her up and asked what the boys names really were and she informed me they were, in fact, called Sam & Dean.

I told her it was really fucking weird and she told me it didn't matter because they weren't real and she didn't actually condone incest.

I called her a freak and said it wasn't normal or fair to the boys. What if they found out, you know?

She told me I was overreacting and to either support her bringing the babied into the world or leave her alone.

I left it at that & my mom later text me to ask what was going on. She knows my sister used to ship the brothers so I told her and she was quiet but ended up telling me that it wasn't the same and I needed to apologise because she was upset.

I disagree. I think her choice was horrible and she deserves to feel shamed for it.

So, AITA? Am I actually in the wrong here? I know she's struggling right now, but still.

ETA; Additional information; They have a son called Severus and they seem to be encouraging "snape" behaviours in him (keeping his hair long, forcing him into like, chemistry summer camps and shit). Makes me feel like they're living vicariously through their kids or something.

comment: Lucifer and Castiel are strange to name kids, Sam and Dean not so much.

OP reply: Sam's middle name is Lucifer! They were talking aboht Castiel for their firstborn but ended up naming him something else.

comment: What did they name the two girls, who did they name them for?

OP reply: Cersei & Katniss. I don't know what their "plan" is for Cersei but Katniss has already got her little toy archery kits lol.

comment: INFO: is her partner aware of her incestuous fandom?

OP reply: I think so. I'm pretty sure they met on tumblr.

post link

#supernatural #i guess this counts as anti wincest #reddit #aita #amitheasshole #i'm sorry

[ihatedean]

we finished ep10 and i neeeed to say some shit.

of course they'd bring missouri back just to kill her. i'm the idiot for believing they'd actually do something fun with her.

i've only had jack for 9 episodes and i would genuinely die for him. not even joking. he's the only good thing to come out of the bunker era. also. mama bear sam??? wow. i don't know how i feel about dean yet- i know he grows fond of jack later, but i don't think i've ever seen him treat anybody like this. at least not people who didn't deserve it... it's weird.

oh god. they did that for me actually. my cringe little girl. he looks soooo dumb and its so so hot. i love the boots. i love it when he cosplays. i love that they had absolutely NO privacy in that motel. wow.

4. i want ketch gone. not in a "ohhh he's so evil i want him gone!" way. it's a "please please erase everything BMOL-related from existence" way. i don't like him, the only thing he brings to the table so far is mentioning rowena. but i genuinely hope he's here just for a few episodes until something kills him.

5.e8.... happened. i guess it was....... different. e9 and... uh. dinosaurs? i HATED the camera movement, though. there's that.

6. what the fuck was up with dean forcing kaia to get in the car. holy fuck. i know we're supposed to believe its because he's doing whatever he can to bring his mother back but.... jesus. he just. wouldn't do that. it was genuinely devastating to see him act like that- it crossed too many lines.

7. holy fuck. holy fuck WAYWARD SISTERS. ugh, so many feelings. we could not shut up while watching. it was sooo much fun and such a cool way to get the girls together!! i love that you can tell they have different dynamics w each other- it feels real. there's a gentleness in claire that she shows to the "new girls" of the gang, cool big-sister vibes that she uses to calm them down, ease them into it. and another one, deeper, reserved just for her sister alex. when alex and claire are talking you can FEEL the years of growing up together. they've said some nasty things to each other, you just know it. and yeah i ship it. but: it does sting that they've been building all these great female characters who are strong and funny and smart and caring, and then proceeded to give them an episode that felt.... ugh, i don't know. i hate the word performative, but i just wish it had been treated with more seriousness? like. give them a scary looking monster, at least. let them look messy. i couldn't stop looking at claire's perfectly curled hair throughout the whole episode. they're beautiful women, i already know that, they would look pretty even if you roughen them up, i promise. it felt like the show kept repeating "wow these women are BAD-ASS, right? right!? they shoot guns!" in a way that they never needed to with jo or ellen or fuck, jody. one look at ellen and i was straightening my back, man. i miss that. i miss characters that didn't need to show their scars to show how bad-ass they are.

Anyways. I hated season 12. But it was something. And it showed the hunter world outside of Sam and Dean, something I missed a lot. With season 13 I can officially say I'm just here to watch Jensen Ackles' mouth moving. That's it. Asmodeus might have been a fun character for a video game. I hate him in this show. I want Mary gone, or at least I want someone to remember who Mary Winchester is and write her as such. Kevin was there for a moment, that was cool. Mark Pellegrino was not paid enough.

#lb #spn season 13 #spn 13x03 #spn 13x06 #spn 13x07 #spn 13x08 #spn 13x09 #spn 13x10 #first time watch #what even is supernatural at this point #im doing a re-watch too so it hurts even more

[zmediaoutlet]

happy wincest wednesday!! i'm in a s4 mood so i will ask a s4 question. assuming they were in an established relationship when dean went to hell, what is your fave s4 ep for them to try and reconnect that way, even if it doesn't fix anything?

hello, hello, happy wincest wednesday! ACTUALLY ON WEDNESDAY! Miracles do happen.

Ohh I do love painful s4 re-hooking-up, ESPECIALLY when it doesn't fix anything because it can't because the apocalypse is on rails and they WILL end up in that horrible honeymoon suite with the world cracked in two, and then be left to mend together the broken pieces. (Which they will, they do. Ahh what a great ship. Anyway--)

It's tempting to say 4.01, but there's no time for that really. I guess you can crack open a tiny bit of space between Bobby leaving them in that motel room and Sam bailing to go chat with Ruby -- one could fuck in there, I guess -- but I kinda don't want them to. Things are off and Dean can tell and he's also jumpy and freaked out and, god, really really needs some sleep. Plus, like immediately after all that there are angels, which probably puts a crimp in your brotherfucking stride (especially with a newly terrified Dean).

So -- given that, and given how 4.04 is Not A Happy Time, I really prefer 4.05, Monster Movie. Jamie's perfectly nice but really I think Dean needs a good, thorough rogering. (Samming?) It's a good spot: Dean's still raw after hell, obv, but his edges are screaming slightly less -- Sam's "agreed" not to do demon stuff anymore -- they're in a place where they're genuinely enjoying each other's company, even if Sam went to see whatever movie while Dean was dead. (How dare!) You can basically swap out the Jamie reconnection for Dean, sure, kissing her after the case, but then his eyes lift over her head and Sam's standing there watching, not mad and not jealous/envious but just -- waiting, glad to see Dean getting something good, knowing that whatever happens they've got something else waiting. So Dean makes sure Jamie gets home safe, and comes back to the motel where Sam's sitting up, watching -- hey, that movie again, maybe -- and they reconnect like they should have, the whole time.

Except -- of course that doesn't fix things. Of course there's Yellow Fever waiting the very next week, where Dean sees Sam will yellow eyes. And then the angels return. And then Dean's nightmares are getting worse. And then and then and then.

s4 really doesn't let up, and it's AWESOME for that but also... oh boy, it really puts a hurt on established relationship, haha. (I mean, the canon one and the sexual one, they're one and the same basically.) Given a reconnection at 4.05, I can see them breaking it off again at 4.14 (the siren ep) for wildly obvious reasons, and it's possible that they don't manage to settle back together again until... shit, just before 5.06? Or not at all during s5, which honestly would be reasonable. Things are so hard and harsh and terrible. In a ER-but-they-broke-up-after-the-siren-world, I can see them not even kissing or w/e before Swan Song -- because what matters is just being close and together, shoulder to shoulder -- and then maybe it's not until Sam gets his soul back, virgins getting kidnapped in Portland, that Dean finally gets to look up into Sam's eyes and see his brother whole and real and his looking back, and say -- yes. Yes, finally, at last.

#happy wincest wednesday #answers #people who hate s6 suck cock by choice too btw #tom nuttall and i agree: s!sam into souled sam is SO GREAT #both for sam and for the plot #but also for what it does for wincest #and the wincest is canon! i have it on good authority! aka me.

[youlooklikeasixtiesqueen]

jesus christ

#it's sunday morning in the year 2021 can we leave the shipwars behind us PLEASE #who gives a shit what you ship as long as you're not an asshole about it #it's okay to ship unhealthy ships if you acknowledge they're unhealthy #and honestly it's pretty childish to tell people to go fuck themselves because they're ok with a ship you don't approve of #yes this is about w*ncest #i just saw a post saying that if you have siblings and you're not disgusted by people shipping them then there's something wrong with you #no? i just literally don't give a fuck because the ship itself doesn't affect me in any way #yes a lot of wincesties are assholes but they would be assholes if they shipped something else too #anyway while i don't ship sam and dean i think it's fucked up to tell people who do they should die so let's not do that ok? #tdlr please stop with the purity shipping discourse i've been on this website for ten years and have seen it all #i've unfollowed three people in the past 24h because they were being assholes

[caranfindel]

Fic: You don’t know how it feels (to be me)

gen, s6 | about 3600 words | pg for language | characters: soulless sam winchester, dean winchester

synopsis: Soulless Sam tries to deal with his brother's feelings about, well, everything. Including his hair. Set in season 6, before "You Can't Handle the Truth."

An idea I had a long time ago, resuscitated by Jared's Walker haircut. The title is from "You Don't Know How It Feels" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

. . . . . .

It's a stupid case.

The manager of the county fairgrounds is a stooped, gnarled old man wearing one of those ball caps veterans wear sometimes. Gold embroidery on the dark blue hat proudly displays the name of his ship or submarine or whatever. Sam doesn't care about his ship or submarine or whatever. He doesn't care about this guy's service at all. Most days, old Blue Hat here got three meals a day and a warm, dry place to sleep in exchange for whatever he gave up. He got a pension when he was done fighting. Sam gets to scrounge for cheap food and sleep in crappy hotels when he's lucky enough to actually land someplace other than the back seat of the Impala. Sam's service to his country earned him a trip to Hell. Sam will get to stop fighting when he's dead. His only pension will be a pyre.

Sam doesn't even get to sleep any more.

(This should bother him. But the truth is, it doesn't.)

Blue Hat frowns at Sam's ID and snorts derisively. "You don't look like a Fed. You look like a goddamn hippie."

He rolls his eyes at the old man, even though he knows Dean hates it when he does that. It's something he didn't do Before, no matter how annoying or insipid the witness. Sam doesn't give a good goddamn what this guy thinks about his hair, but apparently his brother does. "He's been doing some undercover work," Dean says. "Sometimes you've got to look like a goddamn hippie to blend in."

Blue Hat sniffs his disapproval and ignores Sam for the rest of the interview, directing all of his answers to Dean. Which is fine. The old guy doesn't seem to have anything useful to add anyway. Sam leaves his brother to the pointless interview about the stupid case and wanders around the building, taking pictures of the unexplained runes that brought them here. He's bored. The sudden appearance of mysterious runes on the bland metal exterior of a county fairgrounds building feels witchy, and Sam really doesn't care about witches. Two measly deaths, quite possibly from natural causes, and now he's out here standing in cow shit. Or goat shit or pig shit. This entire day has been shit, literally and figuratively.

Dean joins him after a couple of minutes, apparently done with Blue Hat. "What do you think?" he asks.

Sam shrugs. "Too early to tell. If these runes are what Bobby thinks they are, they'll change under moonlight, but moonrise isn't until 9:05 pm."

“Jesus," Dean moans. "I can't stay awake that long. I've already gone almost two days. Let's go back to the motel and crash, and we'll hit this place again tonight."

Or not, Sam wants to say. I think you jumped on this paper-thin excuse for a job just because the alternative was sitting in a motel room with me waiting for an actual case to come up, Sam wants to say. But neither of these are things he would have said Before, and Dean is so goddamn twitchy about Sam being different than Before.

As they turn back to the Impala, Dean glances at Sam with a slight smile. "Dude's not wrong, you know."

“What?"

“You do look like a goddamn hippie." Dean's hand twitches toward Sam, like he's going to smack him on the back of the head or ruffle his hair, but he pulls back without touching him. Because they don't do that now. Casual, good-natured, brotherly contact isn't a thing now. Dean doesn't touch him unless there are injuries involved.

(This is another thing that should bother Sam. It would have, Before.)

. . .

Dean hangs his suit in the closet, sets an alarm, and collapses on top of the covers. Sam stares at his own bed. The threat of spending hours pretending to be asleep makes his skin crawl. If Dean falls asleep quickly enough, he can skip the whole charade.

“Hey, I think I'm gonna shower first," he says.

Dean doesn't open his eyes. "Just don't wake me up when you get out."

In the bathroom, Sam turns on the water but doesn't get undressed. He stands at the mirror, staring at his too-long hair. Why has he bothered to hold onto it? He remembers caring about his hair. He remembers it being a small fuck you to John, the one area in his life where he was able to cling to some autonomy. It's not that he's forgotten about that; he just doesn't give a shit any more.

And like Dean said, Blue Hat wasn't wrong. He does look like a hippie. The hair is a hazard, and it does clash with any kind of law enforcement disguise. Maybe it's time to do something about it. He has time to kill anyway, while Dean sleeps.

(Sam should care that he doesn't need to sleep any more. Dean would definitely care, if he found out. Dean cares so much about any aspect of Sam that is less normal than he thinks it ought to be. Even if it's something that makes him a better hunter. Dean didn't appreciate it when Sam could exorcise demons without killing the host, and Dean wouldn't appreciate that Sam can get so much done when he's not sleeping. He could never understand why this version of Sam is so much better than the way he was Before. It's a shame Dean hasn't discovered the option of Not Caring.)

(Sometimes Sam wonders if getting back with Dean is worth the trouble.)

(And that should bother him too.)

Sam shuts off the shower and pulls out his phone. He needs to find a barber shop in walking distance. Dean will get all pissy if he wakes up and the car is gone; less so if only Sam is missing. Luckily, there's a shop that might still be open. It's one of those ridiculous sports-themed places that presumes men are fussy toddlers who need to be distracted from the ignominy of a hair cut. At least they tend to be staffed by women, and those women tend to be prettier than average. With any luck, he can kill two birds with one stone.

When he opens the bathroom door, Dean is either asleep, or pretending to be. Sam scrawls couldn't sleep, back soon on the motel notepad and closes the door behind him as silently as possible.

(He misses his car. He didn't have an emotional attachment to it, like Dean and the Impala, but it was convenient and it suited him.)

(He doesn't actually have an emotional attachment to anything. That should bother him.)

. . .

Two stylists, both predictably prettier than average, look up when he walks in. The redhead says "sorry, sir, we're just about to close up," and continues sweeping up hair trimmings. But the brunette looks him up and down and smiles. And Sam's partial to brunettes anyway.

He gives her a once-over in return and smiles back. "Do you have time for just a quick cut? I'd be eternally grateful."

She stares at him for a minute, appraising. "Well, how could I turn down an offer of eternal gratefulness?" she says with a wink. She turns to the redhead. "Why don't you go on home. I've got this."

The redhead dumps her clippings into a trash can. "You sure?"

"I'm sure. You mind locking the door behind you? I don't want any more last-minute customers walking in."

The redhead raises her eyebrows, but gathers her purse and jacket and makes her escape as Sam settles into the brunette's chair.

“I'm Marianne," she says, as she starts to drape a cape over his shoulders.

“I'm Sam. But listen. I get too hot under those capes. Would it be okay if we skip it? And I just take my shirt off so I don't get hair all over it?"

Marianne smiles like the cat who caught the canary. "Not a problem, sweetheart."

Sam slips out of his dress shirt and drapes it over the empty chair next to him. Marianne watches him the whole time, eyes roving over the muscles exposed by his snug white undershirt. It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

He sits back in the chair and Marianne stands behind him. Her chest brushes against his shoulders. "So," she asks, "what are we doing today?"

“Shorter. Off my collar, above my ears."

She slips her fingers through his hair, measuring its length. "You sure? This length looks pretty good on you. Just needs to be cleaned up a bit."

“It's for a job. The long hair doesn't fly any more."

“Aw, that's a shame." Marianne's still running her fingers through his hair. "If you've got a lady in your life, I bet she'll miss it. A girl likes something to hold onto."

Well. The best lies are based on a kernel of truth. Sam looks into his lap and lets his smile go sad and soft. "That's kind of why I'm here. My girlfriend died and I thought I'd try to start over. New place, new job, new life. But yeah, that's always been one of my favorite things. A girl grabbing my hair in the heat of the moment. I should have tried to find someone to do that one more time before I had to cut it off."

Marianne leans forward, pressing her breasts harder against him. When he looks up, she meets his eyes in the mirror, then flicks a glance toward a door marked Employees Only. “You know," she says, "that could probably be arranged."

Seriously. Fish in a goddamn barrel.

. . .

Dean's awake when Sam gets back to the motel room, but he doesn't look up from the laptop. "Couldn't sleep?"

“I guess I napped a little in the car on the way down here," Sam lies. "And then, you know, a lot of caffeine this morning."

“Whatever. I'm not the sleep police. I hope you brought food, cause I could —" Dean looks at Sam and stops mid-sentence, mouth still open. "You cut your hair?"

“Yeah."

“Why?"

“What do you mean, why? Like old what's-his-face said, I looked like a hippie, not an FBI agent. And you've been telling me to cut it for years."

“Yeah, I have. I've been saying that for years and you've been ignoring me for years. Now some random witness calls you a hippie and you go running to Supercuts?"

Sam sighs. Dean may not be the sleep police, but he's awfully eager to step in as the hair police, enforcing his own set of laws about Sam's hair. "Why does it matter? You wanted me to cut it. Everyone wanted me to cut it. And I cut it. Can we move on now?"

It's a statement almost guaranteed to make Dean bow up in anger, but instead, he deflates. "It's just… nothing. Fine. Moving on." He closes the laptop and pulls his keys out of his coat pocket. "We've still got an hour or so before moonrise. I'm gonna go run through McDonald's. You want a chicken sandwich, or is that something else you're not interested in any more?"

Jesus Christ. This is what passes for moving on. But Sam needs that shower now, and none of this is worth arguing about.

(Few things are any more. That seems like it should matter.)

“Yeah, that sounds great, thanks."

By the time Dean gets back, the sandwich is cold and the ice in Sam's drink is mostly melted. He pretends to enjoy it anyway.

. . .

Their drive back to the fairgrounds is quiet. Dean occasionally steals an unhappy glance at Sam's hair, but doesn't say anything. Sam ignores it.

They pull into the parking lot in front of the marked building. Without even getting out of the car, they can see that the runes have changed. The broad strokes are softly luminescent, glowing a pale blue in the moonlight.

“Okay, so that answers that question," Sam says. Thank God. Now they can leave without wandering around the grounds, soaking up the barnyard smell again. Wrap this up and start working on something more important. But Dean gets out of the car and looks at Sam expectantly. Well, crap. Sam dutifully follows him closer to the building and tries to think of how he would have felt about this development Before.

“Cool," he says. Dean narrows his eyes at him. "I mean, cool that our theory was right. Not, you know, cool that someone is using this kind of spellwork to make sure their pig wins a blue ribbon at the fair. That part's… pretty awful." But Dean's still looking at him funny, so he probably overcorrected on that one. It's just hard, any more.

Dean rubs the back of his neck as he examines the glowing runes. "If that's all they're doing, more power to them. I couldn't care less. But we need to make sure that's all they're doing. I mean, people died, Sam. We need to figure out if this is why." He pulls out his phone. "Gonna take some pictures to send Bobby." There's no reason to remind him they already have pictures. If Dean thinks additional pictures are more effective and efficient than "just like this, but glowing blue," that's up to him. Sam will most likely solve the damn case later tonight anyway, while Dean sleeps.

And he almost does. Dean knocks back a couple of glasses of whiskey when they get back to the motel, and falls asleep pretty soon after that. Sam doesn't bother to feign sleep — Dean doesn't seem to care, right now, whether his brother gets any sleep or not. But when Sam realizes his own photos missed a crucial corner of the building, he opens his brother's phone and finds his last text to Bobby. There's only one picture, and it's not glowing runes. It's him. Just a dark, slightly blurry picture of Sam, obviously taken earlier that night at the fairgrounds. And a text conversation.

See, I told you, it's short. I don't know what's going on. I swear he's just different.

Yeah, I get it. It's different. He's different. But what'd you expect? Of course he's not the same as he was. Hell changed him.

It didn't change me this much.

His Hell wasn't the same as yours. I know it didn't last very long, but remember, he was in the cage with the devil. We don't know what happened to him in there. Give him some time.

Well. Fuck. Dean's talking about him behind his back. Dean doesn't trust him. Dean thinks, once again, that something is wrong with him.

(That would have hurt, Before. Now it's just an annoyance. A distraction. Something to be dealt with.)

Yes, Hell changed him. Hell burned away all the crap, all the useless feelings, the guilt and shame and fear of failure. Hell purified him. Hell carved out the weakness and left nothing but pure, strong hunter. Dean, of all people, should appreciate the result. But Dean does not, and now Sam has to cater to his tiresome attachment to everything Sam was Before.

Fine. He can make that work.

Sam quietly puts Dean's phone back on the nightstand. He strips down to boxers and his t-shirt, sets an alarm, and crawls into bed. Pretending to sleep is tedious, but a couple of hours of boredom right now might spare him weeks of Dean's moodiness about him being different.

(As if Hell could leave you untouched. As if anyone in their right mind would expect that. As if Dean himself didn't know this first hand, for fuck's sake.)

. . .

Sam spends the next day focusing on acting the way he did Before. When his alarm goes off he stretches, yawns, and pretends he had a good night's sleep. He goes for a run, brings back coffee, showers quickly, and rolls his eyes when Dean makes a crack about him being able to spend less time in the shower now. At breakfast, he smiles at the (cute, definitely worth a bang) waitress, but doesn't flirt or even check her out as she walks away. He's figured out that Dean wants Sam to want to get laid (but not too much; he's definitely not supposed to want it as much as Dean wants it) but for some reason doesn't want him to actually get lucky. And he definitely would have gotten lucky. He spends the day looking empathetic, acting like this whole thing hasn't been a colossal waste of time. Like he cares about everything. About anything.

(God, it's exhausting.)

It turns out the deaths probably don't have anything to do with the witch at all. They return to the fairgrounds one last time, where Sam plants hex bags and paints runes on the corners of the building that will block the witch's simple spells - not that he cares whether the witch achieves anything or not, just on principle. His own runes are small and subtle enough that this novice witch (they must be a novice; no one with any experience would be naive enough to make their work so noticeable) won't even know they're in place. And if the witch escalates, well, that's not exactly Sam's problem.

When he's finished, he wipes his hands on his jeans and says "We should get Chinese for dinner. When's the last time you ate a vegetable?" Because monitoring everyone's vegetable intake is something he did Before.

They're finishing Chinese takeout in their motel room (beef with broccoli for Dean, eggplant in garlic sauce for Sam, because occasional bouts of vegetarianism were also a thing he did Before) when he catches Dean looking at his hair, very clearly wanting to say something.

So. It's go time.

Sam tries to make his eyes big and sad. The puppy dog look, Dean always called it. It was never intentional Before, but now he has to work at it. "Listen," he says. "I owe you an apology. I haven't been telling you the whole truth."

“No shit," Dean says. He's trying to sound nonchalant, but his body language screams that he's bracing for something. "So, spill it. What's your big confession?"

(That I don't care about any of this. This piddly little case. My hair. You. Nothing. And you can't imagine, Dean, you cannot even begin to imagine the incredible freedom of not caring. I wish you could, but you just can't.)

No, he can't say any of that. But the best lies are built on a kernel of truth.

Sam takes a deep, anxious breath and looks at Dean. No, wait. Look away. "You know, I told you I don't remember Hell. And I really don't. Not consciously, anyway. But when we were fighting those demons a couple of weeks ago, one of them grabbed me by the hair, and I felt something… it was a sense memory, I guess. It felt like Hell, for some reason. Like it was something that happened to me in Hell, someone grabbing my hair and pulling my head back and getting ready to cut my throat or… whatever."

He doesn't have to elaborate on whatever. Dean knows the whatevers of Hell better than anyone. He's probably dealing with a little sense memory of his own right now, of clutching someone's hair and pulling their head back in preparation for whatever. And now Sam does look at his brother, who is staring at him with wide, horrified eyes.

“Ever since then," Sam continues, "I just feel like I've been on the verge of remembering something. Something I don't want to remember. And I'm tired of worrying that I'm gonna have a Hell flashback every time I wash my hair."

Dean looks like he's going to vomit. Perfect.

“I'm sorry," Sam says. "It threw me, and I just didn't want to talk about it. But I shouldn't have kept it from you."

For a second, he's sure he has gone too far. Dean is going to say what's this bullshit, Sam, you would never apologize for something like that, so tell me what's really going on. But he doesn't. He stares at Sam for a minute, then looks away and wipes a hand down his face.

“Yeah, okay. Okay. You, ah. You good now? Is it working?"

Sam shrugs. "Hard to say. It hasn't been very long. But yeah, I feel a little more… stable, I guess."

And then it’s time to go for the kill.

Sam gives him the sad smile. (He never used to think of it as a sad smile; never used to think of it as anything at all. It was just what his face did. Every expression requires so much thought now.) "Listen. I know things are weird. I know I'm weird. Different. I know it's hard for you. If this is all more than you want to deal with right now, I understand."

Dean frowns. "What are you saying?"

“Just, I can go back with Samuel and his crew if you don't want to do this any more. You and me, I mean. No hard feelings, I promise."

Dean's face crumples. "What? No, fuck, no, Sam. I don't. You and me, we're good. I'm just getting used to things. That's all."

“Okay." Sam gives his best approximation of a grateful smile.

“So. Uh." Dean looks around the room nervously, like he's waiting for the other shoe to fall, then stands. "I think I'm gonna go get a drink. You wanna come with, or…"

Even if Sam believed Dean really wanted him to come along — and he doesn't; this is obviously Dean's way of retreating from a situation he doesn't want to think about — pretending to sleep when Dean's gone is one of the easier ways of making it look like he actually does sleep sometimes. "No. I'm beat," he says. "I think I'll just go to bed."

“Okay. Yeah. That sounds like a good idea." Dean takes his keys out of his pocket and anxiously tosses them in his hand. When he finally does turn to Sam, he looks at his hair, not his eyes. "Hey, you know, it does. It does look good on you."

Sam ducks his head shyly, like someone who's not used to praise. Who doesn't think he deserves it. "Thanks." When he looks up, Dean is already halfway out the door, putting as much space between himself and his little brother's hellscape as possible.

(Seriously. Fish in a fucking barrel.)

#my fic #sam winchester #dean winchester #soulless sam is my spirit animal #spn #season 6

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Hi, I'm working on a SPN fanfic right now and I was hoping I could get some character ideas from you. It's a destiel fanfic-I know you don't ship them anymore but I'm kind of stuck on what to do with John? I want him in the story because I love Jeffrey Dean Morgan and the way he plays Dean but I also don't want to write him in a repetitive way, I want to do the character justice and not make him all cringe. Got any ideas?

Hi! Yes, I'd be more than happy to give you some advice.

To me, John Winchester is such a fun character to write, full of angst ripe for the picking with Sam and Dean, ya know? And Jeffrey does such a good job bringing the character to life, I just hate reading fics where the the writers just make him the cringey, abusive, alcoholic, homophobic father, the obstacle needed to overcome for Destiel (or whatever ship) to truly be together, you know? I'm not saying that we shouldn't use the abusive parent trope in coming out stories because obviously those family dynamics exist in real life so of course many who have suffered through that trauma want to write about it to work through it and I do not begrudge them at all for that. But, the trope is overplayed and typically there isn't a whole lot of nuance to it so its kind of boring to read about all of the time, and when something gets boring, it gets cringey.

So my advice if this story you're writing is going to have some sort of coming out story feat. John Winchester aka Abusive/Homophobic Father of the Year, then try to add a little bit more nuance to it to give it a freshness so it doesn't feel so overplayed to your readers. No one likes carboard cut outs of characters, they want characters not caricatures (at least that's I want but you know depending on your audience, maybe they're ok with caricatures as long as they get their fanservice). So definitely, if you can, try and dive a little more deeply into the psyche of John Winchester. Really analyze his emotions, his motivations, his reasonings for why he does the things he does. If he's gonna be abusive and homophobic, think about why is he really those things? Is he abusive because he can't look at his kids because they remind him of Mary? Is this his own way of protecting them? Is he homophobic because he's a product of his time? Or is there a deeper reason behind it? Is it a means of protecting his sons from the harshness and brutality of living that life? Because while it is freeing and liberating to come out and truly be able to be yourself, sadly, the world is filled with bigots that won't see it that way, that are threatened by it and will enact violence because of their bigotry.

Me personally, if I were to ever write for John Winchester, I'd choose to stay away from the abusive, alcoholic, homophobic angle that so much of the fandom likes to depict him as. Like I said before, its overdone, boring, and cringey. And truth be told, I've never jumped on the band wagon of hating John Winchester. Honestly, when I rewatch Season 1, the episodes featuring him are always so enjoyable to me because he's so interesting. Sure, he's terrible for his sons, but digging into his motivations and how he thinks, in his own twisted mind, he means well and he's genuinely thinking that these means are what's going to keep his boys safe. So I don't know, if I were to write a coming out story whether it be destiel or sastiel, I'd kind of like to depict John as being supportive of his son coming out because there is an aspect of his personality there that does treasure his boys. Sure, it doesn't negate that he's a terrible father who has treated his children abysmally but everything that he's done in the show, it's never screamed at me that he's homophobic. I'm sure some Dean Winchester stans will come at me, get up on their soap box and try to tell me that we can gather that John Winchester was homophobic because of Dean's own homophobia and repressed feelings towards men, how he womanizes and fetishizes women, etc. He learned it from John. Or maybe, just maybe, John Winchester was not around a whole lot and Dean watched a lot of macho cop shows and things of that nature whilst spending endless hours cooped up in a hotel room. Or Dean Winchester actually is straight, I know horror of horrors for me to suggest something like that and I'm not really here to make an argument on that. If you want to yell at me and tell me all of the reasons why Dean Winchester isn't straight, don't bother because I don't care. SPN is done and over with and we all now have the freedom to characterize Dean however the fuck we want and we need to stop getting into such heated arguments about this. If you see Dean has a repressed homosexual, great I totally see how you would see that so you should write about it, I don't have a problem with it. But I also don't have a problem with him being characterized as straight either. I have written Dean as straight before and I've also written him as LGBT as well. I'm not more partial to any reading of his sexuality really, he's never been a favorite character of mine, most of the time I have to really fight my own dislike of him to even find him palatable. If I think of a story and I want to include him in said story, I'll characterize him in whichever way befits the story I'm writing. But the point is, in regards to John Winchester, I kind of went on a tangent there, but what I'm essentially getting at is John can be abusive, he can be alcoholic, but I would also find it interesting if amongst those things he was supportive of his sons' sexuality or at the very least apathetic to it.

But anyway, those are my thoughts/advice. Hopefully it helps and good luck on your story. If you post it on Tumblr, be sure to tag me, I'd love to read it.

#john winchester #anti dean winchester #critical dean winchester #i'm just going to use the dean anti and critical tags just because I dont want a whole lot of dean stans up my ass

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 10

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6; Season 7; Season 8; Season 9]

Episode 1:

Cas is slowly dying, practically naked, in a bed, and the first thing he says when talking about Dean is "I miss him" (6:35), with a soft smile. "Why would he just disappear?"

... I'm sorry but If Cas Were A Woman, this would look like a scene from a movie or something, where the wife talks to a friend over the phone about her missing husband. JUST SAYING

Crowley: "The girl seemed nice. Slightly damaged. I could see the old you falling for that." (9:29) uhm... who else is "nice and slightly" damaged? I don't know... CASTIEL??!!!

So... these two men (actors Todd Mann and Brad Mann) we see with the DemonGang, are real life twins (9:14).

At (27:18), Crowley states him and Dean did "extroardinary things to triplets" ... and, well, the only twins with a possible other sibling we see are... them

And this is not the first time we hear about Dean doing "things to triplets" with a buddy of his (15x07)... and the first time he was NOT a demon... so, there's that. And triplets don't necessarily mean "all females"

Cas, while talking about the good things that come with choices, mentions "hope, love, dreams" (39:06), and Hannah points out that "those are human things". Human things...

Cas is talking about his own personal experiences with creating chaos, so those are the things he felt after rebelling for... Dean... WOW. ICWAW, it would totally be read it as a reference to Dean. A romantic one. Fight me

Episode 2:

Cas is dying, just got back from a fight that left him wounded, doesn't have enough power to heal himself, is on a mission to restore Heaven, and once again he chooses to go save Dean (9:35), and the way rage builds in his eyes when learning Dean has become a demon. Look at this shit

I might be crazy, but this feels like a touching metaphor to me:

"I think you don't know what you want. Tell me, Dean. What are you? A demon? [...] Maybe you're human. [...] Why don't you do us all a great, big favor... and pick a bloody side!" (22:22)

METAPHOR

Episode 3:

We are reminded that, even tho in terrible conditions, on the verge of death, Cas is willing to risk it all to save Dean, and is devastated by the thought of Dean not making it (4:47 - 5:17)

This is so funny to me, I'm sorry, but Cas is so visibly uncomfortable with Hannah touching him, it's hilarious (15:58)

"I've been around humans for long enough to see how easily distractions occur. Emotions, feelings... They're dangerous temptations." (22:32) like rebelling against your own kind, destroying your home, falling... all for a human?

"I'm trying to keep our priorities clear." Moments earlier, Cas listed "Getting to Dean" (22:17) before anything else. In fact, Hannah says "I am very clear of my priorities... and yours." = Dean (23:00)

Cas is not sure whether the cure will kill Dean or not, and in any case, he wraps his arms around him, and softly says "It's over... Dean it's over." (35:40) as if hushing him to sleep, in what could have been their last moments together... wow. Think about this ICWAW

"Well, I can see his point. Only humans can feel real joy, but... also such profound pain. This is easier." (36:17) Look at the way Sam is looking at Cas looking at Dean

BITCH OKAY!!

SAM KNOWS

POSSIBILE future Empty reference "real joy"

Cas already stated he misses being human, but knows how fragile they are in both body and spirit:

Castiel really wants to be with Dean. For real. But maybe he thinks (see season 9) him being an angel is an obstacle to their feelings.

Only by being human he can truly be happy (MMMMMMHH SEASON 15), but isn't sure he could handle the pain that comes with it. A possible rejection, the thought of Dean dying, him leaving Dean... MMMMHHHHH

"You look terrible." [...] "Well, you, on the other hand, you... *checks out Cas* Looking good." (39:09) full homo right there. Also parallel with Ketch in 13x18 ("You don't look good." "Yeah, well, you're not my type, either.")

The way they are looking at each other here... man.

Cas is so happy to have Dean back, and Dean looks hurt about Cas leaving so soon.

"So... so, you're back?" "At least temporarily." (39:27) bitch, you know that's not what he ment.

In all of this, Cas is trying to make Dean feel better about the whole situation (DAT SMILE 40:18), and Dean replies with "I'm glad you're back, man.", basically no-homoing himself...

Cas starts walking out of the room, but stops and turns back [insert concerned husband here] (40:27), and Dean has that hopeful look in his eyes, like Cas is going to stay, and the hurtful look comes back as soon as Cas is gone

Episode 4:

"On your knees!" "Wow, I'm awfully flattered-" (34:33) SASSY BI DEAN IS THE DEAN WE DESERVE

Episode 5:

Fucking kill me NOW!!! Dean's reaction to Destiel is PRICELESS!! And even before he learns what that is, he just looks at the girls playing him and Cas and... freezes for a moment (13:18) And the eyebrow raise thingy at (13:34)... what's going on in your brain, Dean?

I'd like to point out that the Italian translation for "You can't spell 'subtext' without S-E-X" is, for once, AMAZING:

"It's just that... their bond is so strong it has subtext of a... sexual nature."

THANK YOU ITALIAN DUB! JUST THIS ONCE, THANK YOU! (13:43)

Also at (9:44) Dean immediately reacts to the implication of Wincest subtext, shutting it down and telling the girls to take a step back, but with Destiel he is like... alright

... this is so fucking cute, (25:54) Dean adjusts the girl playing Cas' tie so that it's messed up like the real Cas'. ADORABLE

SAM SHIPS IT (13:57) and is teasing the SHIT out of Dean, who reacts like someone being teased about their crush. Just saying (14:08 - 14:52) [AND THIS HAPPENS IN FRONT OF A PINK-BLUE WALL]

"I know I have expressed some differences of opinion regarding this version of Supernatural." (26:44) ... oookay meta? *turns to "Cas"* "And I want you to put as much sub into that text as you possibly can." ... oKAY?!

Episode 7:

Cas being extremely uncomfortable with women is too fucking funny to me (5:03 - 12:51)

Episode 9:

(15:13) Alright, so, this is a date... what now? Anyway, nice bi flannel, Dean. And the little sweet smiles you two are giving each other? So fucking precious (16:01)

"I ain't exactly a role model." "That's not true." (16:07) how Dean looks at Cas right after that? BABIES!

"How are you, Dean?" "Fine." "*I-call-bullshit look*" "I'm great!" "No, you're not." (16:18) #MARRIED

As Cas is choke-holding a guy, Dean, clearly amused (almost proudly), says "I'd do what he says." (22:17) Like that time with Raphael in 5x03, Dean likes it when Cas gets rough

Episode 10:

Shut the fuck up and marry each other already so you can finally actually BE the old married couple™️ you ALREADY ARE (22:17)

This is the "My husband is so FUCKING STUPID" look (22:30)

"I was hoping you might reach out to her." "... Me? I'm probably the last person she'd want to hear from." [...] "All I know... is she won't talk to me." (23:03) #MARRIED, PARENTS, PERIODT

Shut the fuck up. Cas is the dad trying to figure out technology (23:36) "I'll text you her number. I like texting. Emotions!" DAD

Cas worries about Dean like a wife would with an alcoholic husband

Of all the things Dean could be MAD about at Metateon... the first thing he can think of is him stealing Cas' grace (31:33) (okay, maybe he is going in chronological order but STILL)

Episode 11:

[I AM SO SO SO SORRY BUT DEAN USED THE ALIAS "PRESLEY" (18:55) I AM NOT OKAY]

Episode 14:

Have this deleted scene: Castiel and Crowley bitching over Dean, and Crowley calling Dean Cas' boyfriend

This is some hell of a goodbye-eye-love-making scene (26:57)

Cain compares himself to Dean... and CAS TO HIS WIFE COLLETTE [PARALLELS]

"You're living my life in reverse [...]

First you'd kill Crowley. You'd get it done, no remorse. (Cain had been killing his descendants, for whom he didn't care much)

And then you'd kill the angel, Castiel. Now, that one... that, I suspect, would hurt something awful. [And than Sam is Able, bla bla...]"

AM I WRONG?! YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG??!!!

Dean gives the First Blade to Cas... oKAY (37:10)

Worried brother-in-laws (41:27)

Episode 16:

This is such a good source of hidden meanings scene! Dean starts his "confession" as a scam. Everything he says at first is to attract the spirit.

He starts talking about seeing lots of women, not being able to control himself, and being sick of it. Then the real confession begins...

Dean feels he's going to die soon, and fears not death itself, but what he would be missing from his life.

"There's things... people, feelings that I... I would experience differently than I had before. Or even for the first time." (25:28) and the priest believes Dean is talking about love.

Well... "people, feelings"... who could he be referring to? Does Dean want love all of a sudden? People he wants to experience for the first time... uhmmmm... Is Dean opening up to his attraction to MEN??!! Or one angel in particular?

ICWAW we would guess Dean was talking about Cas

"Who mixes their blood and bones into paint? No woman has ever done that for me." (39:19) UHM- Dean, what about

6x20 "He has bled, died bla bla bla for us",

7x21 "I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters" or

9x22 "You just gave up an entire army for one guy"

ICWAW we would ALL roll our eyes at this statement and scream CAS

THE GUY BLED, LOST HIS HOME, REBELLED, DIED FOR YOU!! HE REBUILT YOU PIECE BY PIECE FROM HELL- SAVED YOU DOZENS OF TIMES!!!

Episode 17:

About saving Dean from the Mark: "We won't- (free Metatron)" "Yes, you will... because you're desperate." (9:44) Hannah knows. Let's remark that

"All I'm getting from you is... colours." (14:26) bitch he is a walking 🌈PRIDE FLAG🏳️‍🌈

Notice how, when we get a Sam-Cas centred episode, we don't get the same interactions with Dean-Cas? Why this?

Dean is always ready to call Cas a "brother", but the only one true bromance here is Sam and Cas'. There are no longing stares, no weird sexual filled dialogue nor tension, NO LONGING STARES

Facts, my people. Facts

Episode 18:

"You killed my friend." "Oh, pff, Dean is fine, mostly. Can't you get past that?" "Never." (12:39)

Charlie being excited about meeting Dean's famous boyfriend is WHOLESOME (37:34)

To have Cas back, 100%, safe and sound, is a win for Dean (38:58) and the face Cas makes after Dean hits him with another no-homo "It's good to have you back, pal." is "UHH not this again". Charlie already ships it

Episode 20:

A #MARRIED couple and their daughter. NO ARGUMENTS VALID (7:06)

Look at how they enter the motel (16:22)

OH MY GOOOOOD!!! #PARENTS coming back home from shopping!! THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER!!! Also

"Happy birthday. I got it at the Hot Topical" DAD

Dean: "Imma head back over there." Cas: "I'm coming with you." Claire: "I'm coming with you too." (17:24) #FAMILY

A fucking family comedy about a dad confronting the daughter's boyfriend and the other dad scolding him:

"What did you do to him?" "I didn't lay a hand on him!" "Dean, that isn't exactly true." "... Well, I didn't kill the guy." (17:14)

Surprisingly enough, this is not the first nor last time Dean acts like a dad to a lost child (AND TWO OF THESE TIMES THE KID IS SOMEHOW RELATED TO CAS) (21:54)

Episode 22:

C: "Claire, you are not going out there. [...] It's too dangerous. I can't let anything happen to you." D: "Claire, you're not going." C: "You're not either, Dean." D: "What?" (19:29)

#FAMILY DON'T TALK TO ME!

"No fighting. [...] Both of you." AAAAAA

This doesn't fucking matter, but Dean just said "... for the ladies. Or the fellas. I don't judge." (36:23)

Cas' speech to Dean... wow. "So if there's even a small chance that we can save you... I won't let you walk out of this room." (39:20)

I hate this scene. (40:11)

Dean is overwhelmed by Charlie's death, Sam and Cas' betrayal, the Mark changing him and all the other shit.

The Mark is taking over, and Dean can't (and won't) help it. Cas knows it. He doesn't want to hurt Dean. He is not even resisting. Doesn't put up a fight.

And just like Colette with Cain, Castiel only asks Dean one thing: "Stop." (40:38) [9x11]

Parallel to 8x07:

The only thing that stops Cas from killing Dean, is him begging, clutching onto his sleeve.

"Dean... please..." (41:08) Cas pleading Dean, clutching to his arm, makes him resist the urge to kill him.

Episode 23:

You can find gifs and the script of some deleted (destiel) scenes in this post by @charlie-minion

As the Mark eats Dean... he starts feeling guilt for the people he hurt... first on the list: Cas (14:54)

(This gif is not mine)

Well... what a season.

[Season 11>>]

#the destiel folder #icwaw #if castiel were a woman #supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #casdean #dean x castiel #deancas #jensen ackles #misha collins #spn #supernatural rewatch #spn rewatch #rewatch #meta #meta destiel #destiel meta #spn season 10 #destiel season 10 #deanmon #demon dean #destiel moments #time stamp #spn 15x18 #otp #ship #spn fandom

[rainythursdaynight]

"Most destiel shippers love Jared." Really? I do a few destiel shppers that like Jared, but even they admit that most of the Sam/Jared hate in the SpN fandom comes from the Destiel fandom. If "most" destiel shippers love Jared then why do they don't defend him when their fellow shippers send hate to him on social media. I ready know what you're going to say..."I haven't seen the hate for myself..." Yeah yeah, that's what the Harvey Weinstein enablers are saying too.

By “Most Destiel shippers love Jared.” I mean just that. Most of us do love Jared.

I mean, who wouldn’t? That guy is the most adorable energetic puppy to ever exist! I follow some, what, three to four hundred blogs dedicated to spn– this show has consumed me haha– with a majority of them being Destiel positive, and with none of them as Anti-Jared/Sam.

I won’t go around saying that all Destiel shippers love Sam/Jared because I know that isn’t true, just like I won’t go around saying that all general audience viewers don’t hate any of the characters or all wincest shippers hate Misha/Cas. Because 1)- It obviously isn’t true, and 2)- I’d be generalizing which was the second point I was hitting on in my post.

The post was about generalizing and hating the actors, two things we should never do. It was a message to try and do something to tell people to stop hating on the actors because of their ships, which I know won’t do much since I can’t, contrary to whoever tries to convince me I can otherwise, physically go tell every single shipper to stop and have them listen to me as I hold no control over them. (Which is why I can’t directly answer you and tell you why people send hate or don’t defend the actors that do receive hate but, I’ll hit on that in a bit) But, I’ll try to do what I can, whenever I can. Because hating the actors because of your FICTIONAL ship is the same thing as hating, oh– I don’t know, Tom Hiddleston, a damn gentleman, for being Loki, the villain in the Avengers. Or hating any actor because they played a villain or someone you were personally against. It’s an act, none of it is of their own doing because it’s all in a script. These are planned words that aren’t their own, so hating them should seem ridiculous to, hopefully, everyone reading this, right? Well, people still do it. So, why?

Here’s a little story– I met a girl in an old school of mine who watched the show back when it started and was a devout fan throughoutght the entirety of it, but she didn’t like Sam. And I was confused as to why she didn’t, so I asked her and she told me that she liked Sam from all the way up to around season six and it was around that time that she shipped Dean and Lisa together and the only other people who she knew that watched the show and hung around her had constantly told her that wincest was practically canon by season six and were telling her how toxic her ship was compared to their own. So, as a result, she began hating the one person she was made to believe stood in the way of her ship. And that person was Sam. And that’s where the hate stems from. Toxic shipping. From the people around us and from ourselves. Toxic shipping is terrible and ridiculous. And it doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it happens bad. And it happens as a result of people forcing others onto their ships and making their own ships feel inferior. And if you’re just a dick that lacks common sense, which is still a pretty common person to encounter.

Which is why I hardly know any fan of the show that’s against Sam. Because the Destiel shippers I surround myself with, or even the wincest/sastiel/GA fans that I have friendships with, are comfortable enough to not give a crap about what any other shipper says to them, so they aren’t attacking my ship for it. Which is what everyone should be doing.

(It’s also why I hate anti-blogs so much. Because it’s anti-blogs that end up being instigators. People that purposely go out of their way to spread negativity. Because why in the fuck do they think that making someone feel bad for their ship or favourite character is a good thing? Anti-blogs don’t save us, they ruin us. They are spiteful and ignorant. Why would anyone think saying ewcest or wincestew or destihellers or anything like that would be a smart thing? If you don’t like a character or a ship, fine! You’re entitled to it! But, going out of your way and being anti something so much that you literally have blogs yelling and directing hate towards people who like the things you don’t is just plain mean and ridiculous to even consider. If anything, it’s people like that who mostly send hate to the actors. Not the Destiel shippers, or the wincest shippers, or the GA, or the sastiel shippers, or the cas fans, or “minions”, or whatever the fuck you are, it’s the anti-bloggers.

It’s also why I said Most and not all or even some. Because I’d be generalizing if I said all, and I know for a fact that it isn’t just some of us that adore Jared Padelecki. And since you brought up Harvey Weinstein, why don’t I just tie him in to give you an example. Harvey Weinstein is a disgusting sex offender and molester, right? Well, he’s also a man. So that must mean every man is just like him! Sounds ridiculous right? If anything, it sounds like something one of those feme-nazis that have flooded into the world would say. Well, that’s generalizing in a nutshell. Hey, this group of people that like Destiel are attacking Jared! That must mean they’re all like that and they hate Jared! OH NO DESTIHELLERS, RUN!! This is the thought process of a good majority of anti-bloggers, and it’s this thought process that can also stomach hating a person holding a script because they believe his character is against what they want for the show.) - this isn’t really something you asked me, but I felt it important to mention.

Now, as to why not many fans respond to Jared in regards to hate being sent to him, I don’t have an answer for you. I don’t use twitter or facebook and all those other social media platforms, so I tend to not get involved, but I can testify for a FACT, that every other shipper I personally know, have gone against the hate posted towards Jared on social media. The whole, “Queen of Spn” drama left so many of my friends against the people who had attacked Jared, and well-looky here! They ship Destiel! What a shock! So while I may not control the negative side of the fanbase to have them stop, those of us who can, do defend Jared.

Anyway. this got out of hand, but to answer you and sum this up:

“Most destiel shippers love Jared."  Really? (Yes, I said most, and not all, because all would including the toxic shippers, and the toxic shippers are just “1%” of us)  I do a few destiel shppers that like Jared, but even they admit that most of the Sam/Jared hate in the SpN fandom comes from the Destiel fandom. (Yes, it probably does come from the Destiel fandom, but it’s coming from the toxic shippers and anti blogs, not everyone else. It’s important to note the difference)  If "most” destiel shippers love Jared then why do they don’t defend him when their fellow shippers send hate to him on social media.  I ready know what you’re going to say…“I haven’t seen the hate for myself…”  Yeah yeah, that’s what the Harvey Weinstein enablers are saying too. (Like I said, I can’t answer that question directly because I don’t know the thought process or the personal situation of everyone else who ships Destiel in this fandom, but I do know that those of us who can/do defend him, do it strongly and passionately. And no, I have in fact seen hate. I just am smart enough to realise that just because someone else shows hatred towards someone/something, it doesn’t mean that I or those I know will ever be like that and it’s only those of us who are taking this FICTIONAL show so seriously as to showing hatred towards a character/actor for absolutely no good reason. I don’t use social media other than this hellsite, but now that I know about this constant hatred, I’ll definitely try to do my best on going on there more. Thank you for that.)     

I hope I cleared up my post and your asks a bit, and if you’d like to have a conversation or ask me anything, feel free to dm me. :)

#anon #ask away friends #@destiel-sucks-i-know-that-now

[punk-is-notdead]

Fic title: Friends With Benefits? Yeah, Right..., by tfw_cas

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Dean Winchester Castiel Sam Winchester Eileen Leahy Bobby Singer Jody Mills Gabriel (Supernatural) Claire Novak Kevin Tran Ellen Harvelle Jo Harvelle Friends to Lovers Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time and second third fourth fifth time I actually lost count Clueless Dean Winchester Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester Gabriel is a Little Shit Hand Jobs Blow Jobs Shower Sex Anal Sex Phone Sex Masturbation Wall Sex Smut Fluff Fluff and Smut Accidental Cuddling Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester Castiel Takes Initiative Frottage Idiots in Love

Summary: Dean and Cas have been friends for twenty years. After a drunken night of sex, to avoid those pesky feelings, Dean suggests something different. Over the next two weeks he learns that things don't always work out how you expect them to.

AO3

Written for the Destiel & Cockles Sentence Monthly Challenge  

When Dean’s mind began to drag him back into the land of the living, the first thing he became aware of was that there was someone else in bed with him. Unfortunately, he had been so wasted last night that he had no recollection of anything after about 10 pm. He had been with Cas at a bar, having a great time, and they were doing shots, then... nothing. Crap. There was no way Dean was going to remember her name - this could get really awkward. Also, he was feeling really bad that he had left Cas to get home on his own. He was going to have to do some serious apologising later, even though it wasn't the first time Dean had abandoned Cas when he had gotten lucky.

The woman next to him started to stir, and he prepared to give her one of his dazzling smiles, which he hoped would distract her from realising that he had no memory of her. As she turned around however, Dean noticed a very familiar messy head of hair, which most definitely did not belong to a woman. Cas?

Suddenly the memories came flooding back; they left the bar, holding each other up because Cas had been barely able to walk. He had stumbled and collided with Dean, who had fallen against the wall, laughing stupidly.

“Dean... Dean, are you okay? Didn wan hurt you.” Cas had crowded into his space, with a look of concern on his face, but then something between them changed and Cas’ mouth was there, and he had pressed it against Dean's, and Dean had grabbed hold of his face and kissed him back with everything he had. It was kind of messy, but - oh god - Cas had felt so good, and then they were grinding on each other against that wall, and Dean couldn't have stopped even if he wanted to. Which he absolutely did not.

Then Cas had yanked Dean's pants open, grabbed hold of his cock, and stroked it over and over, and Dean couldn't remember ever enjoying a hand job so much. He cried out as he spilled over Cas’ hand, then tried to return the favour but Cas informed him that there was no need, as he had already come in his pants while they were grinding. Dean had found that all kinds of hot.

Then they started kissing again, and it went on for a really long time, and Cas had said he was going to go home, but Dean had insisted that he was coming back with him. It's possible that they might have had more sex in Dean’s bed, before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

He lay still as he wondered what the hell all this meant for their friendship. They had been best friends for… oh, twenty years or so. Ever since the weird, dorky kid had shown up in their science class, and demanded that the teacher teach them about bees, Dean had found him completely irresistible. Their friendship had grown ever closer over the years, and it seemed that they were unable to go for more than a few days without seeing each other, for nights out, or sometimes nights in to watch movies, play games etc. Didn't mean anything, right? They were buddies... pals, and nothing more. Except they were in bed together, naked - well, Dean was naked anyway, but he didn't want to find out if Cas was - after having had sex together.

Cas turned over and smiled contentedly at Dean, who couldn't help but smile back. They gazed into each other's eyes for heated moments, until Dean felt a hand sliding up his thigh. Then he opened his mouth and said one of the stupidest things he had ever said in his life.

“Hey Cas, buddy. Last night was awesome… ya know, but let's not make a big deal out of it.”

“I don't understand Dean. What are you saying?” Cas’ voice was even deeper and rougher in the mornings, and it was very distracting.

“Well, um… I mean, it's not like we're gonna get all serious on each other just cos we had sex, is it? Hell, it wouldn't even mean anything if we did it once a week.”

Cas’ face was a mixture of confusion and sadness, and Dean felt like he had kicked a puppy, but he really did not want anything to mess up their relationship friendship. He valued Cas above everything else. Cas sat up and was silent for a long while; eventually speaking before the silence became unbearable.

“So, what you’re saying is that the sex doesn't have to be a one-off... we could do it again if we wanted, without feelings being involved. A friends with benefits type of deal.”

“Yeah, I guess that's what I'm saying.”

“How would that work? Would it be a regular thing, like every Tuesday, or would one of us contact the other to find out if they were free?” Trust Cas to be all practical about this. The loveable dork.

“I guess we could pick a day, yeah. Then the rest of the week we’d be free to hook up with whoever we want.”

Cas’ expression darkened for a moment, and Dean thought he saw a hint of jealousy in those eyes. He chose to ignore it.

“Wednesday is movie night, Friday is burger night, Saturday we go to a bar, Sunday... family. That leaves us with Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.” Cas’ eagerness to sort out a day for them to have sex was hilarious, slightly unsettling, and completely endearing.

“Okay Cas… Tuesday?”

“Yes, that will work well. And on Mondays and Thursdays we can have sex with other people.”

“Yeah…” Why did Dean not like the sound of that when it was Cas saying it? For some reason it didn't sit well. Dean decided not to think about it.

“What if one of us doesn't feel like having sex on our chosen day?”

Cas’ question was perfectly reasonable, but Dean had got so excited about their regular future sex, and all that they could try, that he found the mere thought of this scenario upsetting. However, he had to accept that this was a possibility.

“Then we just tell the other one. No biggie.” Dean hoped he was coming across as nonchalant.

“I have two more questions. First, are we going to tell anyone else about our arrangement? I'm guessing from the look on your face that the answer is no.” Well, at least Cas wasn't stupid. “My second question is where? Where do we do this?” Again, with the practicalities.

“I dunno about you, but I vote for here. My bed has memory foam. Is your bed as comfortable as this, Cas?”

“No, this is the best choice. Okay then, I believe we have a deal.” Cas smiled and extended his hand so that they could shake on it.

Their eyes locked again, in an intense stare. Dean really wanted to lean forward and kiss Cas, and it was obvious that the dark haired sex god was thinking the same thing. That would clearly be going against the spirit of their agreement, though, so Dean looked away, and spoke somewhat reluctantly.

“I guess we should get ready for the family thing.”

“Yes. Is it okay if I use your shower? I seem to be a little sticky.” Oh, dear god. Did Cas have any idea what saying things like that did to Dean?

“Yeah, but make it quick. I need a shower too.” Cas looked at him, and Dean could see that his pupils were dilated. His eyes glanced down to Dean’s lips, and he unconsciously licked his own.

“We could… could always do it together.”

Well, we are in a hurry. “Sure, good thinking. It’ll make it quicker. I’ll go and turn it on, so that the water's hot enough. Come in when you're ready.” Dean jumped out of bed, and walked to the bathroom, feeling Cas’ eyes on him the whole way.

As he turned the shower on, he was struck by thoughts of ‘what are you doing?’ and ‘gonna see Cas’ naked body’. He drowned these voices out by sticking his head under the water. Moments later he felt the heat from Cas’ body, as he too stepped under the spray. He tried to move over, to give the other man more room, but for the first time, Dean noticed just how small his shower was. Blinking the water out of his eyes, he found his friend’s face just inches from his. Deciding to ignore all logic, Dean surged forward and captured those gorgeous lips with his own. Cas moaned into his mouth, as they found themselves once again pressed up against a wall.

Lining their hips up, Dean reached between them and took both of their cocks in his hand. He gave one tiny thrust, and stopped, trying to adjust to the intensity of the sensation.

“Dean, d-don’t stop. Please, don't… ohhhh god.”

Dean began to speed his hand up over them both, and it felt glorious. They started kissing again; only pulling away for air when he was about to come.

“Cas, yes… I, fuck!” Dean cried out as his release spilled over his hand and Cas’ dick.

“Dean. DeanDeanyes.” The last words all became one as Cas’ orgasm hit him hard. Panting, he grabbed at Dean’s arms, trying to hold on to something. The only thing Dean could think of to stop the other man from falling was to pin him up against the wall and kiss him some more.

They stayed like this for longer than necessary, because Dean did not know what to do. They had made an agreement not half an hour ago, and they had already broken it. What kind of weak-willed monster was he?

He had to move once the water began to turn cold though, and as he pulled away from Cas he could see how utterly wrecked the other man looked, with his slightly kiss-swollen lips, and wild hair.

“S-sorry, Cas.” Dean pulled away further so that Cas had more room to get washed.

“Why are you apologising Dean?” Suddenly, he wasn’t sure what the apology was for.

“Well… we made an agreement, and I broke it.”

“You broke it? Dean Winchester broke it?”

“Yeah, I-” Before Dean could finish speaking Cas had pulled him into a hug, and was burying his face in his neck.

“Dean, we both broke it, and besides, it was nice. Do not apologise.”

“Oh, okay Cas.. we really should get ready though.” As they finished washing, then got dried and dressed Dean tried to get his head around the crazy events of the last few hours. It had been kind of a whirlwind, but Cas’ assessment that what they had just done was nice was the understatement of the century; it had been mind-blowingly awesome.

When they were ready they smiled shyly at each other, and hesitated at the door for a few moments, before walking back to the bar to find Dean’s beloved baby; his ‘67 Chevy Impala. They drove to Sam and Eileen's house to meet up with their strange and wonderful family. Sam; Dean’s giant of a younger brother, Eileen; his wonderful wife, Gabe; Cas’ annoying older brother, Bobby; Dean and Sam’s surrogate uncle, and Jody, Claire, Charlie and Kevin, who were not related in anyway, but as Bobby always says ‘family don’t end in blood’.

Dean and Cas went into the house, and could hear the usual chaotic chatter coming from the kitchen. As they walked into the room all eyes turned to them, and the voices fell silent.

“Dude, you’re late.” Sam pointed accusingly at his brother.

“Yeah, we… we got held up. Sorry.” Dean sat down, and Cas sat next to him.

“They were too busy doing unspeakable things to each other.” Gabe was always saying stuff like that, but the fact that this time it was true made Dean see red. Just as he was about to unleash an angry tirade on him though, Eileen stepped in to save the day; she might not be able to hear, but she was shit-hot at lip reading.

“Gabriel!” She scolded him frustratedly. “What Dean and Cas get up to in private is nobody else's business. Now, eat up everyone.” She shot a warning look at Gabe, who wisely decided to keep quiet.

Dean wanted to challenge the whole ‘what they get up to in private’ thing, but considering the activities they had actually been indulging in, he thought it best to keep his damn mouth shut for once.

Dinner passed very pleasantly, with a lot of chit-chat and laughter. More than once Dean found his sole attention focused on Cas; whether talking to him, or just watching him. He was definitely not gazing admiringly at him, that's for sure.

“You two are so gross.” Claire rolled her eyes at them, in disgust.

“What are you on about?” Dean snapped a little at Claire’s insinuation.

“Staring at each other all the time… always touching. Can't you just stop while we're trying to eat?”

Dean opened and closed his mouth a few times, as he tried to find a response. Luckily, Eileen intervened again, before Dean could deny it so vehemently that it might piss Cas off.

“We have two types of pie for dessert - pecan or apple.”

“Did I ever tell you how lucky you are Sammy?” Dean hugged his sister-in-law, as she struggled to serve dessert.

“Yeah, every time she gives you pie.”

“Bitch.” Dean chuckled as he threw the ‘insult’.

“Jerk.” Sam's retort had everyone groaning - apart from Cas, who watched them affectionately.

“Idjits.” Bobby's gruff voice caused much laughter around the table.

After the pie had been consumed - Dean having had a piece of both - they said their farewells, and left to go home. Dean was suddenly reluctant to say goodbye to his friend, but he couldn't think of a reason not to. He drove Cas home, and as they pulled up outside Dean really wanted to kiss him goodnight. No, stop that. We have an agreement.

Cas seemed to take an age getting out of the car, and he looked just as unhappy about it as Dean.

“Goodnight Dean. I will see you on Tuesday for our… uhm. Night.” He poked his head through the window as he spoke, and Dean could see the stunning blue of his irises. My god, the man’s beautiful.

“Yeah, see ya Cas.” Dean pulled away before he could make a fool of himself, and spent the rest of the evening not thinking about his friend and all the sex they’d had that weekend.

On Monday evening Dean found a pressing need to call Cas, and check some information about bees with him. The fact that this confirmed Cas was not out picking up other people was just an added bonus.

On Tuesday evening Cas arrived at Dean's apartment, with a bag in his hand and a twinkle in his eye. Dean had been nervous as hell all day, but his friend looked as cool as a cucumber. So, now what? They stood, looking nervously at each other for a few seconds, until Dean strode over to Cas, took his face in his hands and kissed him with a soft brush of the lips.

“Heya Cas.” He found that they were doing that staring thing again.

“Hello Dean.” Cas kissed him again, hard and passionate, as he ran his hands through Dean's hair. Dean was surprised to discover that Cas had pushed him backwards, and had him pinned against the wall. What the fuck was it with them and walls? Cas rolled his hips against Dean's, who was entirely at his mercy. Man, was that hot.

As he continued the hip rolls, Cas started to kiss down Dean's neck, stopping at the top of his shirt collar. He took hold of the bottom of Dean's t-shirt, but stopped before pulling it off; watching, and waiting for permission.

“Yeah, Cas.” Dean breathed, as his friend pulled the garment up and over his head.

Cas continued his kissing movements downwards, until he reached the left nipple. He took it into his mouth and flicked it with his tongue. Dean arched his back - as much as he could, given that he was trapped - and Cas gave a little chuckle. After a few more flicks of the tongue, Cas moved over to the other nipple. By the time he was done Dean was a panting mess; very grateful that Cas was holding him up so firmly, because otherwise he would be a puddle on the floor. Moving down some more, he kissed and licked his way over Dean’s ribs and hip bones, then dropped to his knees, opened Dean’s pants, and pulled them and his boxers down. Dean didn’t know how he was doing it, but he realised that Cas was still holding him up; this was his last coherent thought before Cas took him into the wet, velvety heat of his mouth. Pulling off slightly, he licked up the shaft, then swirled his tongue around the head.

“Jesus, Cas… fuuuuck.” Dean could only watch, as his friend pushed him towards the edge.

Cas was swallowing almost all of him, as he moved backwards and forwards rhythmically, and it was very little time before Dean came; shooting his release into Cas’ mouth. His legs felt like jelly as Cas got back up, smiling serenely.

“Fuck, Cas. Where the fuck…?” Dean couldn’t finish his sentence, so Cas just kissed him. He could taste his come on Cas’ lips and tongue, but he had very little time to savour this before Cas flipped him around so that he was facing the wall. What the hell? Cas ran his finger down Dean’s crack, and started to circle the hole. He leaned forward and whispered in Dean’s ear.

“Dean, I would really like to fuck you. Can I fuck you, please?”

“Y-yeah. But could we do it on the bed? I don’t think my legs will hold out much longer.”

“Of course Dean.” Cas backed off a little, but not so far that Dean might fall, and pulled his pants and boxers back up for him.

Dean turned back around, and they walked into the bedroom together. He really wanted to undress Cas, but before he could even try the other man had pushed him onto the bed, and was lying on top of him. Jeez, he’s keen. They found each other’s mouths, and kissed for a very long time; Cas’ hands running through Dean’s hair and Dean’s hands exploring the skin underneath Cas’ shirt. As Dean was beginning to wonder if this was just going to be an intense make-out session, Cas seemed to remember why they were on the bed. He started that hip rolling thing again, and Dean could feel how hard he was through their clothing.

“I need my bag.” Cas climbed off Dean and the bed, and went to retrieve the bag, which Dean had completely forgotten about. What the hell is in it? He reappeared, looking a little embarrassed, and Dean felt he had to ask.

“What you got in there, Cas?”

He held the bag out to Dean, who laughed out loud at the sight of what looked like a hundred condoms, and two bottles of lube.

“Er, I’m not sure you’ve got enough there Cas.” Dean teased, once he had stopped laughing.

Cas’ expression darkened, and his voice got impossibly lower. “Let’s see how many we can use, Dean.”

Well, okay then. Slowly, Dean slid his pants down his legs, to give Cas a little show, then pushed them off and threw them onto the floor. Once he had removed his socks, he was wearing nothing but his underwear.

“Your turn, gorgeous.” He looked up at Cas expectantly; unconsciously licking his lips in anticipation.

“You haven’t finished, Dean.” Cas pointed at his underwear.

This seemed very unfair; Dean was expected to be completely naked, while Cas was fully dressed. However, the more he thought about it, the hotter he found it. He took his boxers off, faster than strictly necessary, and waited to see what Cas was going to do next.

He watched Cas as he slipped his shoes off, and pull out one of the bottles of lube and one condom from the bag. He lay down next to Dean and ran his hands all over his body; caressing, stroking, rubbing. He gently spread Dean’s legs, coated his fingers with a generous amount of lube, and found his hole again. He slowly pushed one of the digits inside, stopping occasionally to allow Dean to adjust to the feeling.

“How does that feel Dean?” Cas was staring into Dean’s eyes, looking for any sign of distress or discomfort.

“Different… but in a good way. Ahhhh, fuck.” Dean cried out and arched off the bed as Cas found something inside him with his finger.

“You like that? That’s your prostate.”

“Yes... oh god, yes. P-please do it again.” Cas hit that spot again, as he added another finger, and Dean thought he might come for a second time, before Cas even got to fuck him.

“Please Cas, I’m gonna-” Cas realised how close Dean was, and stopped hitting his prostate as he added another finger and finished preparing him.

When he was satisfied that Dean was ready, he opened his pants and pulled them and his underwear down enough to let his cock spring free. He opened the condom and rolled it on, added some more lube, then lined himself up with Dean’s waiting hole. They gazed at each other for a few moments - did they do that often? - before Cas slowly pushed in. Once he had bottomed out, he stayed still, as they both adjusted, then Dean moved his hips and that spurred Cas into action.

At first he was gentle; moving in and out slowly, but he gradually started to speed up, snapping his hips forwards faster and faster. Dean was losing himself in the feel of the other man, but Cas suddenly grabbed hold of his ass and changed the angle a little. With the next thrust he nailed Dean’s prostate, and the sounds he made at this were obviously what Cas was looking for. To help with this angle Dean wrapped his legs around Cas’ back, and pushed his heels forward with each thrust. As his movements became more erratic, Cas took hold of Dean’s cock and gave it a few long strokes, which was all he needed to fall over the edge. As his orgasm hit, great white stripes of come landed on his stomach, and he felt Cas reach his moment of ecstasy. as his hole clenched around him.

As they both tried to breathe normally again, Cas found Dean’s mouth and they kissed long and slow. As they kissed, Dean realised two things; 1) Cas really liked being in control during sex, and 2) Dean REALLY liked Cas being in control. Also, the sex was fucking awesome, and they could do it without any feelings being involved. It was just sex, right?

Cas lifted himself onto his elbows and gave Dean one of his soul-piercing stares; affection written all over his face. “Dean, I-”

“Yeah Cas, I know. That was fucking amazing.” Dean cut him off before he could say anything inconvenient.

“Yes, it was.” Cas spoke so quietly it was barely audible. He pulled out of Dean and they both winced, then he pulled off the condom and tied it off. He went off to the bathroom to dispose of it, and to get a washcloth, but when he returned he had a strange expression on his face.

Dean really wanted Cas to lie down with him, so they could hold each other, but an awful thought struck him - what if Cas hadn't got undressed because he wanted to leave as soon as the sex was over? Shit. Dean tried not to panic as Cas cleaned him up, but he didn't know what to say.

When Cas had finished, he put the washcloth down, then spoke very softly. “What do we do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want me to leave now that the sex is over?”

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. “No. No, Cas… I’d really like you to stay.”

Cas smiled one of the most beautiful smiles Dean had ever seen on the man, and his heart soared, for some reason. Cas quickly removed his clothes, dropping them in a pile on the floor, then lay down beside Dean so that they were face to face. He pulled Dean into his arms and they held each other, contentedly. They found each other's mouths again, and melted into a tender kiss, making out for what felt like hours. Dean found himself dropping off to sleep a couple of times, and woke up to find Cas soothing his back, or his hair. God, this was nice - the sex was amazing, but this… Dean would need poetry to describe it.

In the morning Dean woke to find that he was alone, but he was delighted to see a little note on his nightstand.

Dean

Sorry I had to leave, but I will see you tonight for the movie. Please look after my bag for me.

Cas

Dean thought that Cas leaving his bag there meant that he wasn't planning on having sex with anyone else, and that made him stupidly happy. He spent the rest of the day in a state of euphoria; barely able to contain his excitement at seeing Cas again so soon. Of course, as soon as Cas arrived, it all came crashing down; the dark haired sex god walked in as if everything was as it had always been, and set up the movie and popcorn as usual.

Dammit. It's not sex night. “Hey Cas.” Dean knew that his voice sounded a little unsure, but he couldn't help it.

“Hello Dean. We are watching The Return of the King tonight, aren't we?”

“Oh. Er… yeah.” Dean watched his friend settle down on the sofa, and wondered how in hell he was going to be able to act as if this was just a normal Wednesday. Cas, on the other hand, seemed totally at ease, and that made it even worse somehow.

By the time they were halfway through the movie, Dean thought he might actually be about to die from the tension. The two foot gap between them felt like a gaping chasm, and he hated it. He couldn't focus on what was happening on the screen; instead he spent most of the time glancing at his friend, hoping to see a sign of… something. Dean had no idea what it was he was looking for, but he never found it.

At the end of the movie, Cas turned to him. “Dean, you do not look well. I think I should go, while you get some rest.”

Despite knowing that all he needed was a hug, and maybe a kiss, from the other man, Dean reluctantly agreed, and as he watched Cas leave he felt a pain in his chest he didn't recognise. He had a horrible night's sleep, knowing that they wouldn't see each other again until Friday.

On Thursday evening, Dean had every intention of calling Cas, with a ‘very important’ question, but before he could even think about it, Cas was calling him.

“Hello Dean. I wanted to check that you were okay. I was worried about you.” Cas’ voice was laced with worry, and this made Dean feel a whole lot better.

They chatted for a while, then Dean suddenly felt hungry for the first time since yesterday. As soon as he ended the call, he went to the kitchen and made himself an omelette with plenty of crispy bacon, and ate happily. That night's sleep was much easier

.Friday night meant a trip to Harvelle’s roadhouse, and the best burgers in town. Dean and Cas met in the parking lot, as always, and Dean had to resist the urge to hug his friend. The lack of physical contact was agonising, but with extreme willpower he overcame it, and they went inside. They were met by Jo, their waitress, who showed them to their favourite booth.

“Hiya guys, table for two?” Jo winked as she said this, because it was always a table for two.

“Nah, there's seven of us.” Dean chuckled at his joke, and Cas laughed along with him.

As they sat down their knees brushed under the table, and Dean thought that this might be torture. As it turned out, though, the evening was really good; mostly because Cas kept the touches to a minimum. At one point Ellen, the owner and Jo’s mom, came out to hug Dean and scold him for something. She was, after all, the closest thing to a mother-figure Dean had.

“I hope this boy’s treatin’ you right.” She spoke fondly to Cas, who smiled back at her.

“Always.”

“Good.” Ellen gave Dean a playful slap on the back, as she returned to the kitchen.

Sitting himself back down, Dean realised what Ellen had just said. Did everyone think they were in a relationship? He didn't dwell on it too much though, after seeing how happy Cas looked. The burgers were excellent, and so was the beer, and they left completely satisfied. Saying goodbye hurt, but Dean had to suck it up, and as he went home alone he thought of the good parts of the evening, rather than them parting.

On Saturday they went to a bar, and although it was supposed to be an excuse to pick up women, neither of them left each other's side all night. At one point a woman came up to them and tried to flirt with Cas, but he made it very obvious that he wasn't interested, before Dean could get too jealous. Everyone else seemed to give them a wide berth; sensing that they were perfectly happy on their own. Dean got drunk enough to not remember them saying goodbye, which helped.

On Sunday Dean picked Cas up on the way to Sam and Eileen's, and they arrived in good time for dinner. Charlie was the first person to greet them.

“Dean. Cas. What's up, bitches?”

They heard Gabe pipe up from the kitchen. “They've been banging each other's brains out… Ow, Jody, that was vicious.”

“Manners, boy.” Jody’s voice was firm and decisive.

Dean was totally going to punch the irritating midget’s lights out one of these days. For now, though, he had a dilemma; did he sit away from Cas to make a point, or do what he wanted and sit next to his boyfriend? After an internal battle, desire ultimately won out, and Dean made sure to sit next to Cas. Screw Gabe.

Eileen's dinner kicked-ass, and everyone was happy and full by the end. Gabe kept his smug comments to a minimum, and Kevin entertained everyone with his impression of Yoda. The kid was pretty funny; even Bobby was laughing.

Dropping Cas off home was as sad as ever, but at least Dean knew it would only be two days before they saw each other again.

Monday evening saw the now regular phone call, although Dean didn't even try to come up with an excuse this time. They talked for about half an hour, then Dean spent the rest of the night thinking about tomorrow.

By the time Cas was due to arrive on Tuesday, Dean was actually pacing the floor inside the front door. He could hardly contain his nervous excitement, and at the sound of the door opening - yes, of course Cas had a key - he leaped on the poor unsuspecting man, almost knocking him over in the process.

“Dean?” Cas sounded alarmed.

“Cas… I-” Dean grabbed him by the hand, pulled him into the bedroom and yanked him down onto the bed. Unable to explain himself, he clung on to Cas, hoping that he would understand his craving for this closeness. It seemed that he did, and he wrapped his arms around Dean, pulling him as close as physically possible, and tangling their legs together. They stayed like this for what felt like hours; holding each other, and kissing occasionally. Dean ran his hands through Cas’ gorgeous hair, while Cas tugged gently at Dean's hair.

Dean was so confused about what he wanted; he thought it was sex, and often it was, but sometimes he just needed touching. He eventually fell asleep like this, and when he woke in the morning there was another note from Cas.

Dean

I really enjoyed last night. See you this evening.

Cas

Dean's head was beginning to hurt with the mixture of emotions, and he went to work with such a jumble of thoughts. Work distracted him enough to get through the day, and when Cas got to his place in the evening he was much calmer. The atmosphere between them felt a little odd, but they started the movie and settled down to watch.

The bowl of popcorn was on Cas’ lap, and when Dean tried to take some without looking his hand landed on Cas’ upper thigh instead. The sensible thing would have been to withdraw his hand, but he left it there, and started to softly rub his thumb backwards and forwards. He moved his hand higher, and rubbed his thumb harder, until he heard Cas’ breath hitch. He looked over at the other man; his eyes were closed, and he was biting his bottom lip. He lifted his hand, then placed it on Cas’ crotch, causing his eyes to fly open. They gazed at each other with undisguised desire, then Dean knelt up on the sofa and shuffled forward until he was close enough to climb onto Cas’ lap.

“Cas.” That word was all he could manage before they were both left breathless by the most passionate kiss they had shared yet.

Dean ground down hard onto Cas, who then held him in place to get more friction between them. As this momentum built up though, it was suddenly not enough; Dean needed Cas inside him. He stood up and all but ran to the bedroom, leaving a slightly dazed Cas sitting on the sofa. Dean returned with a bottle of lube and a condom, and once he had placed them down he hurriedly removed his clothes. When he was naked, he straddled Cas again; he knew he should feel vulnerable, as Cas was fully clothed, but he didn't. He looked deeply into the other man's eyes.

“Cas. I want you to open me up so I can ride you.” The way his eyes widened at this request showed that he was fully on board with Dean's suggestion.

Cas reached for the bottle, and poured some lube onto his fingers, then reached around behind Dean - who had got himself into a kind of crouching position - and slowly started to work him open. It wasn't the best angle for either of them, but he was able to get three fingers in, quite easily.

“That's enough Cas, I’m ready.” Dean panted as Cas withdrew his fingers. He opened Cas’ pants to release him, then rolled the condom onto his very hard cock. He placed his hands on the back of the sofa, and after lining himself up, he gradually sank down onto Cas, feeling every inch as it filled him up.

“Oh fuck, Cas… that feels so good.” Dean stayed still for a few moments after he bottomed out, but it seemed that Cas was having trouble keeping still; he was making tiny little thrusts.

“D-Dean, we need to… move.”

Dean smiled, before lifting himself up, then sliding back down. The noise Cas made at this was amazing, but it seemed to have temporarily short-circuited his brain, as he sat transfixed. It wasn't until Dean had slid up and down a few more times that he started to move; he snapped his hips up sharply to meet Dean's downward movement, and Dean saw stars as Cas hit his prostate.

“Fuuuuuuck. Yes… do that again.”

They started to find a rhythm between them, and as they moved together they kissed, long and slow. Cas hit Dean’s prostate with almost every thrust, and when he felt his release start to build he took hold of his cock and stroked it. Cas pushed his hand away, as he made a kind of growling noise.

“Mine. This belongs to me.” Oh. This possessive side of Cas made Dean all tingly, and that, together with Cas’ expert touch, pushed Dean towards his orgasm. It made Dean ridiculously happy that they came at the same time, and the warm, white liquid spilled out as they rode out the waves of ecstasy together.

Dean was overcome with a feeling of pure bliss, and he could have happily stayed like this forever. This soon became uncomfortable though, and he pulled off Cas, removed the condom, and went to get a washcloth. When he came back the other man hadn't moved, and Dean cleaned him up gently and lovingly. When he had finished he stood back up and pulled his boxers on.

“Can I hold you, Cas?” Dean's voice was earnest, and Cas beamed up at him.

“Yes Dean, I would like that.” They managed to position themselves so that Cas was lying behind Dean on the sofa, and Cas wrapped him in his warm embrace. They fell asleep like this, and, as always, Cas was gone when Dean awoke. He had left another note.

Dean

Last night was wonderful.

Cas

Yeah, it really was. Dean had no idea what any of this meant; he wanted to hold Cas on sex night, and fuck on movie night, which was all kinds of messed up. Maybe they would just have to go with it, and see where it took them.

That evening Dean rang Cas, as he now did whenever they were apart, and they talked for about ten minutes, about nothing much. Just before hanging up Dean said, “see you tomorrow, Cas.”

“Dean, you forgot. I have to go to a conference in the morning. I won't be back until Sunday.”

“Oh, shit. Yeah, I did forget.”

“I will come to Sam and Eileen's straight from the airport on Sunday, so I will meet you there.”

“Okay Cas. Well, have a good time.”

“Thank you Dean. I am sure I will.”

The line went dead, and with a heavy heart Dean said to no-one “don't have sex with anyone else.”

Burger night on Friday didn't happen - there's no point in eating out on your own, right? Dean also did not go to a bar on Saturday; he just didn't feel like it. By ten o’clock he had drunk enough beer to convince himself to call Cas, who picked up immediately.

“Hey Cas, what's happening?” Dean slurred slightly as he spoke.

“Hello Dean. Are you drunk?”

“Yeah, a bit. Are you at a bar, Cas.”

“Dean, are you checking up on me?”

“Nah, I just really miss you.” Dean's voice got quieter and more truthful as he said this.

“I miss you too. I wish I was holding you, and kissing you.”

“Yeah, me too.” Dean knew that they were skating along a very thin line here, but he suddenly didn't care.

“I want to run my hands through your hair, and down over your body until I reach your pants. Then I would undo them slowly, and take your cock in my hand.”

Fuck. “Yeah, Cas. Then what?”

“Then I would lie you down, and take you into my mouth, and suck you until you come down my throat. I would lick it all up, until you couldn't stand it anymore.”

Dean had started frantically jacking himself off as he listened to the filthy things Cas wanted to do to him, and his orgasm was quick and sudden.

“Fucking hell Cas.” All he could hear on the other end was little whimpers and moans as Cas chased his own release.

“Yeah Cas, come for me, gorgeous. I wanna hear you.”

“Deeeeeean, fuck.” As Cas cried out, Dean missed him even more.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Cas.”

“Yes Dean, see you tomorrow. I love you.”

Cas hung up, and Dean was left gaping at his phone. What the hell? Did Cas just say he loved him? Why wasn't he freaking out? Did he love Cas back? What did this mean?

He spent the rest of the night and the following morning going over and over what Cas had said; trying to sort out his own feelings, which were complicated, to say the least.

When he arrived at Sam and Eileen's, Dean was disappointed to see that Cas wasn't there yet. He sat nervously waiting; glancing at the door every few minutes, hoping to see him. Everyone else at the table obviously realised that Dean wasn't in the mood to talk, and mostly left him alone.

When Cas finally arrived about an hour late, Dean sat frozen to the spot, unable to move. Cas said hello to everyone in the room, but Dean didn't respond; he felt like he was watching the scene from outside. As Cas sat next to him, he turned to Dean and smiled that beautiful smile. This snapped Dean out of his trance, and he knew what he had to do. He leaned forward, took Cas’ face in his hands, and kissed him. He poured every ounce of feeling he had into that kiss, and he could feel Cas responding enthusiastically as his hands found their way into Dean's hair.

He could hear Claire making gagging sounds, and Gabe whistling - as well as some squealing from somewhere - but it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was Cas. When Sam started coughing, however, Dean realised that they should probably stop. Pulling back a little, he gazed lovingly into Cas’ eyes.

“I love you too Cas.”

“I know.” Dean didn't know whether he wanted to punch Cas or kiss him for that glorious use of a pop-culture reference, and the smug look on his face.

“How long have you known, Cas?”

“Oh, about twenty years.”

“Wait… are you telling me that we've been in love since we met?”

“Well, I know I have.”

Damn. Just think of all those wasted years. Dean quickly decided that they needed to make up for lost time.

“I’m really sorry everyone, but we're not feeling very well. We have to go, but we'll see you next Sunday.”

As Dean and Cas went to leave Sam started to protest, but Eileen stopped him with a firm hand on his arm.

“Let them go, Sam. They need some time alone.”

The last thing they heard as they went out the door was Gabe saying “I always knew.”

They got into the Impala, and Dean turned to his… boyfriend? “I’m sorry for being an idiot, Cas.”

“No, don't apologise. We're here now.” The love Dean was feeling from Cas made everything okay, somehow.

Now, could they get to Dean's place without breaking the speed limit? There were some memories that Dean would very much like to add to his memory foam.

#destiel fanfic #destiel #fanfic #i wrote a thing

[awed-frog]

I watched it now and I don't it. Remember in your last review you said u dislike how spn always does the same with the ambiguity; but /this/ is the thing I dislike having s/t major happen like Crowley saving Cas and it not changing/having no longlasting impact on any or their dynamic as seen with Sam/Dean/Crowley. With Crowley but also with Cas who has had one of his biggest moments in his story, is just tossed aside doing his day job and giving off screen plot updates.

Look, on good days I tell myself it just about works, right, because both Sam and Dean basically have the emotional range of a teaspoon and they don’t want to talk to each other for various reasons and also we’ve got this weird show, yeah, where sometimes weeks and weeks pass between two episodes, so while we’re still sitting here crying and giffing things, for them - they haven’t moved on, exactly, but they’ve been on three other hunts and they’ve killed stuff and they’ve been slammed into walls and stabbed and cursed, so, who even knows.

So, yes, if you squint, it sort of makes sense.

But also: it really doesn’t. Those are narrative choices, aren’t they? Because I’m still convinced Dean did say something about his mom to that social worker, Beth, and they didn’t show us that. And it’s possible Sam had some awkward exchange with a librarian or a waitress or, hell, someone at Asa’s funeral - they never showed us that either. And what about nurses and doctors? I don’t know how believable it is that they never need a professional to patch them up, and moments like those - you’re in shock, perhaps, and your adrenaline is still up and your heart is beating boom boom BOOM - I’m not saying they’d tell people about monsters, but we know they do confide in other people sometimes. Look at Dean and that priest, or Dean and werewolf widow Michelle - I’m sure there were a lot of other cases. They’re only human, after all. And, well, the same goes for everything else: those dead people they carry on their backs like heavy chains and never talk about, new monsters and new freakishness that’s never mentioned again, heavy trauma seemingly unremembered, and, yes, momentous events that apparently change nothing, like Cas being afraid to leave the Bunker and Crowley’s suddenly selflessness.

Ultimately, I think it all comes down to the usual doublespeak. They’ve got a show about monsters and gore, so that’s what they keep filming. When I first joined the fandom, I asked around about this, and someone told me it was a CW problem - that all their shows are aimed at women - think Jane the Virgin, The Vampire Diaries and Supergirl - and with this one muscle cars and blazing guns extravaganza, they wanted a piece of the male demographics, so by God, they’re fighting to keep it. I really don’t know enough about any of it to have an opinion, but it’s certainly true that Supernatural is only one step removed from those old Clint Eastwood movies: cowboy stuff with a few tears thrown in. And since they know - and we know - that Sam and Dean are not like that, they’re probably afraid that any conversation about anything will stray into chick-flick territory -

(which, ironic)

- and that will be it, goodbye male viewers and goodbye Republicans and goodbye anyone who likes to pretend men don’t have feelings and never talk about anything because being worried and guilty and anxious and overwhelmed - my God, so gay - pull yourself together and walk it off.

So I understand where you’re coming from - I feel the same way. But this show is mostly subtextual, and that’s it - love it or leave it. We spend a lot of time on those clues about Dean’s bisexuality and his love for Cas, but we could spend even more time in mapping out what goes down in all those moments we don’t see. Because we know they keep in contact with people, for instance, we know they worry (look at Dean casually mentioning to Jody he’d been wondering about how the girls were). We know they probably don’t eat fast food day in day out, if only because they look the way they do and they’re not getting any younger, so someone - probably Dean - buys groceries and cooks. We’ve seen Dean ironing clothes (and that was, like, the first time in 12 season?) but we know that must be a common occurence, as is buying those clothes, which are costumes, really, so there must be some debate between them into what pyschologists wear or whatever. We know they have many painful anniversaries, and how do they spend them? We know Sam must be going through something major right now - that God he prayed to his whole life? a fraud - the archangel who whispered to him every night for years? still around, and I’ll never believe Sam can’t feel his presence somehow - the people who burned him with a blowtorch? working with his mother - but it’s been weeks and weeks and Sam is just peachy. And we know a lot about Dean too - in fact, we know so much I won’t bore you with it.

[More on Crowley and Family Feud below the cut.]

Now, the problem is - some of it may be marketing, and other things are down to narrative choices (for instance, we’ve seen what Sam becomes when Lucifer climbs inside his mind: do we really need to see that again?*), but it’s still bizarre to watch a show like this one, which is 90% subtext and silences. Because they talk and talk about ‘going where the story leads them’ or whatever - they don’t. They insist in going in circles, because that’s the format of the show: drive somewhere, talk to people, drink bad beer, gank vampire, drive off. But stories change, and characters grow. I remember people bitching because there was no Quidditch in HP7 - and, I mean, are you for real? The Dark Lord’s taken over - there’s what amount to a military dictatorship over half of Britain - Muggleborns are being rounded up, their wands snapped in half - and you think that, what, Harry can stay at Hogwarts and play Quidditch? So here, what you’ve got is a format which used to work well with two angry young men who saw no need to talk to each other, but now - now they’re grown-ups, for fuck’s sake. And their lives actually depend on adapting their strategy around new enemies, which brings me back to Crowley.

What Buckleming did to Crowley last week is a flashing billboard of why you can’t stick to your format no matter what. Because at this point I’m pretty sure they’re planning to have Crowley betray them in some major way, again, and the problem is that good writing leads you into complicated situations you should really adjust to? Like - I may be completely off the mark, but - in Stuck in the Middle (With Me) they needed Crowley, so they wrote him in. And then it made sense that he was the only one to know about the Lance (I still think Cas is bizarelly oblivious about a lot of things concerning Heaven, but whatever), and therefore he was the only one who knew to break it. Great, done, beautiful scene, huge bit of character development. And next those two idiots have to steer the story in the ‘right’ direction again - ie, the general arc that’s been decided for the season - which means Crowley must be given a reason to be bad again or something, so they go and write that - a confusing, OOC episode full of plot holes whose only point is to give Crowley a reason to hate the Winchesters. And I’m not saying you can’t write him that way, but the problem is - that episode made me hate the Winchesters as well, because, come on - all those times they’ve gone back and forward in time and come back to life and somehow that’s not a problem, but suddenly poor wee Gavin does it and you absolutely need to kill him? And what if that had been Sam, uh? Would Dean have sent Sam back to a doomed ship without so much as a shrug? Nope, because when it’s about them, they find another way. And the fact they didn’t allow Crowley so much as a goodbye - the fact they trust Rowena over Crowley - people who spend a solid twenty minutes every episode harping on and on about family - that’s -

(That’s exactly what happened with Charlie, by the way: they needed a reason to have Dean snap, and took a shortcut. An extremely unbelievable, OOC and badly written shortcut.)

Anyway. 

I don’t know what to tell you. I think my Dean, the Dean I write about, would never have been so cavalier about destroying an innocent person and someone Crowley cared about so much (the one line I liked about that episode: “In your own lizard way, I know you cared for him.”). In fact, the Dean I know would have acknowledged the huge debt he now has with Crowley - would have bought him a beer, at the very least. 

(Then again, the Sam I know was affected by Lucifer’s presence - my Sam would have had some kind of faith crisis over last year’s events, and he wouldn’t have been so whatever about being locked away not once, but twice already, and he would probably have debilitating nightmares and still, despite everything, he would be sympathetic to the BMoL’s proposals because that’s who he is, or who he thinks he is: a Means and Ends kind of guy. 

Shows what I know.)

I think we need to accept this show has a format, and that format doesn’t leave a lot of room for plot coherence and character development, which means a lot of the actualy story will stay in the subtext and sometimes we’ll be left to explain away illogical points and general weirdness. Luckily, most of the writers seem to know what they’re doing and they’re able to fit a lot even into a MoTW episode, but other things are just wrong, and that’s why we have fanfiction.

*Just to be clear: I would love to hear more about Sam and Lucifer, and I’m convinced it could be written in a new way, and I know they’ve got the right people to work on that - my God, just look at what Berens and Dabb were able to do with a couple of werewolves - look at what Yockey’s doing with nothing at all.

[Sorry for the rant. I mostly like this show - a lot - but as I’ve said before, its inconsistency is occasionally very hard to bear. Every other show I watch, I know exactly what I can expect - in terms of quality, that is - and here - here I’m thinking they could have something that’s critically acclaimed, as well as fiercely loved, and instead they throw it away - and for what?]  

#ask #spn meta #spn 12x12 #spn 12x13 #crowley #dean winchester #sam winchester #buckleming #some negativity #spn problems #good writing can pierce through the veil of death #and save the day #(hopefully)

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 8

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6; Season 7]

Oooohhh this is where things start getting JUICY

Episode 1:

Again, Dean copes with the idea of Cas not being there by lying to himself

Parallel from S6: Dean behaves exactly like he was while looking for Lisa and Ben, looking for Cas. "Where's the angel!" (16:57)

Dean clearly states he won't leave PurGAYtory without Cas (22:45)

Episode 2:

Since Dean has come back, he has been snappy with Sam and Crowley about Cas, but every time he remembers PurGAYtory, he is either looking for Cas or with him, and that's all he thinks of

Again with the paraparallels with Lisa and Ben (12:21), also "You'll find your angel there." (13:19) ICWAW, come on, do I have to point that out?

"There are some in Heaven who still believe, despite his mistakes, that Castiel's heart was always in the right place [...] I think... too much heart was always Castiel's problem." (22:25) Samandriel says all of this while looking directly at Dean

Look at that hug. Have we ever seen Dean hug Cas before? The gring on Dean's face. [This is so fucking funny too me, the "Nice peach fuzz" reaction to Cas' beard VS the Sam's "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!" reaction in season 14] (23:21)

"I prayed to you, Cas, every night!" (24:37) Cas once again chose to leave/hurt Dean in order to protect him, even tho he really doesn't want to leave him. "There've been things hunting me. [...] I've a price on my head and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them to... to keep them away from you." (24:54) Those fucking eyes kill me

Dean is willing to risk it all to get Cas out with him. "Cas, buddy... I need you." [yeah, let's see how well that ages on episode 17], also the little "Dean... " after that... BABIES (25:33)

That smile, those eyes... LOOK AT HIM. This is such a "You and me against everything" moment that, ICWAW, would be considered HELLA ROMANTIC

"I'm not leaving here without you. Understand?" (25:51) for fucking finally, also 12 seconds of STARE + LICK of the LIPS action. Oooohhh ICWAW... just imagine

Let us remember that all of this ⬆️, Dean remembers after Samandriel told him "too much heart bla bla bla"

"... [Kevin] thinks people I don't need anymore, they end up dead." (40:36) 'you', Dean? Only you? That's so much guilt you are packing. And immediately after he thinks about trying to save Cas from PurGAYtory and failing... Alrighty then

Episode 5:

I get why some people ship Dean and Benny, but they really do struck me as a bromance. When they call each other "brother", I believe that. With Cas, Dean pulls the "brother card" whenever he's opening his heart to him, basically "no-homo"ing it at the end. Weird right? (12:03)

Benny bitches about Cas being a danger to them because of the attraction monsters have to him, and Cas himself tries convincing Dean he has to leave him behind for his own good, but Dean is having none of that shit and is ready to die trying to save him (12:56)

FUCK MY LIFE we are getting flashbacks from both Sam and Dean, Sam about the time he spent with Amelia, and Dean about looking for, finding and trying to save Cas. I MEAN??!!! ICWAW you BET this would be seen as a ROMANTIC PARALLEL

"He's a friend." "A friend? Dean, you don't have any- all your friends are dead." "That's not what I called to talk about!!" Ouch (25:27)

Episode 6:

"I was in Purgatory." "Like 'purgatory' Purgatory?" "No, the one in Miami." ... that's a gay bar, Dean, how would you know? (11:23)

Dean's lying to himself about Cas letting go (35:32)

Episode 7:

Parallel to S1 Sam seeing Jess while in the car (2:31). Kill me. Also Dean allucinates Cas just like Sam did with Jess (10:15) band tries coping with it by repeating to himself that he didn't leave Cas behind

Every scene in Purgatory where Cas tries to reassure Dean that, if he doesn't make it, it's just the way it is, and Dean insisting he won't leave without him. "I'm just saying... if it doesn't work.. Thank you. For everything." (12:50) I'm dying

Cas comes back and all Dean does for the first few moments is check him out (16:16-16:21) He says he kept trying to reach for the boys, but wasn't at full power, tho somehow Dean was the only one who could see him. And Dean's eyes looking back at Cas (17:58) End me now

FUCKING👏BONER👏SHIFT👏 (20:38)

LOOK AT HIM!! He's checking him out, making THAT face and SHIFTING IN HIS SEAT WHILE PRESSING A HAND TO HIS CROTCH. THAT'S A BONER SHIFT. Look at Sam and then at Dean (20:44) One is a friendly fond reaction, one ISN'T.

ICWAW, we wouldn't even be QUESTIONING it!

The amount of checking out in this episode is crazy. Look at Dean checking out Cas. Look at his face! THE EYES (24:08) ICWA- OH COME ON DO I HAVE TO POINT THAT OUT?!

"Did you not trust me?" "Dean..." "I did everything I could to get you out. Everything! ... I did not leave you." "... So you think this was your fault?" OH MY GOD SO FUCKING #MARRIED LOOK AT CAS' EYES (28:06) ICWA- I'm not even trying anymore

So many soft shoulder touches (34:42) also HOT SCENE I don't know why "I'm going in." "Cas, no. You're not strong enough." (35:15) precious babies

"You could've gotten yourself killed. Why didn't you wait for me?" "Well, I didn't get killed, and it worked." "And if it didn't?!" "It would have been my problem." "Well, it's not the way I see it!" (37:36) #MARRIED they're SO MARRIED

Dean keeps blaming himself for Cas not getting out "I don't need to feel like hell for failing you like I've failed every other godforsaken thing I care about." SEE??! (38:16) Dean preferred believing he had let Cas down, something he is used to, than he had sacrified himself for him (38:48). Dean can't believe Cas thought he deserved to stay in Purgatory. Also THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER (39:38) And Dean's deeply hurt by the fact that Cas would leave him to safety and remain in Purgatory as self punishment for what Dean had painted as all Cas' fault. And he is full of regret (41:30)

Episode 8:

[How fucking cute is it that Cas wants to become a hunter. I'M SQUEELING]

They are so #MARRIED my heart ACHES (5:02) and the way Dean looks at Cas is so fucking SOFT. And 6 seconds of just staring and... well, Cas in general (5:13)

"What? I was being bad cop." "No, you were being bad everything!" (9:12) #MARRIED (12:04) I'm dying, they're so cute

"I don't sleep." "Okay, well, I need my 4 hours, so-" "I'll watch over you *puppy eyes*" (12:52)

"Hey, can you lift this?" sure, Dean, every excuse is valid to have Cas be hot by effortlessly moving an anvil. And see how Cas looks at Dean, like "Really? You even had to ask? I'll fucking show you I can lift this shit". Look at how he looks back side-eyes at Dean here (14:16), like he's making sure Dean is watching him being hot. I'm dead

This is such a fucking sweet moment [I mean, kinda looked like the begging of a porn at first] (16:01). Dean can sense Cas is not okay, and gets him to open up about his feelings. And when Cas admits being suicidal, Dean is speechless, not even being able to imagine such an outcome. Anyway, it is so fucking sweet that they're always able to show themselves vulnerable to each other

Shut up. Look at this scene (18:51-18:53). Mute the video and just look. This is Sam marrying Cas and Dean. PERIODT.

"You're so pretty, Charles. [...] You were quite the bounder." DEAN'S FACE (20:27) He's so in love, and immediately after he LICKS HIS LIPS

While Sam talks about running away from your problems (referring to Amelia), and having to wake up in order not to destroy everything, the pan focuses on Cas (35:33) Subtext, gentlethem, subtext. CAS, FACE YOUR FEELINGS. SOON

Dean's face when Cas says he's not coming back with them (38:16-39:21)

Episode 10:

I now this scene is supposed to be funny, but the way Cas looks at Dean AAAWWW (6:53-7:01) Also do you really have to walk so close to Cas, Dean? Do you? While CHECKING HIM OUT nonetheless?! (7:54)

Remember when in 7x01 Dean was totally comfortable watching porn in front of his brother? Well, Dean goes on and on about Cas being a "brother", but his fucking reaction to Cas being in the same room as him with porn on his computer, is BY FAR the same he has with Sam, hell he even keeps watching with Sam! (8:05) Is it because the last time he, porn and Cas were in the same room, Cas popped a BONER?

Random guy @ Dean: "Are you serious?" Cas: "*leans in to look at Dean* That's his serious face, yes." And Dean's reaction (12:59) SO FUCKING #MARRIED

Dean, that's not the way you look at a friend, or a BROTHER (13:38)

LOOK!! I swear to GOD ICWAW that would be seen as nothing other than CHECKING OUT YOUR CRUSH

"Hey, how about we say, if this doesn't pan out, we had back to that beer and bacon happy hour a mile back, huh?" Translation: "Since I'm starting to realize I might feel something more for you, let me take you on what is totally not a date unless you want it to be" (16:58)

(24:02) #MARRIED

Dean, will you stop checking out Cas during missions? (25:06) Same goes for you, Cas, don't check if your husband's got a boner for you being the hero here (25:08)

Since the start of this season, we've been getting parallels between Sam & Amelia and Dean & Cas. The flashbacks, the guilt for leaving the other half behind, and now Dean tells Sam he's jealous he got a chance at being happy with Amelia (37:32)!!! I MEAN- and fuck my life when I tell you there are parallels with the whole Sam-Amelia-Don & Cas-Dean-Benny thing. I'M TELLING YOU

Episode 11:

"Trust me, this life... you can't afford attachments. You just gotta... let go." "... Are we still talking about Sam, or did you break up with someone too?" (21:17) CHARLIE KNOWS. TELL HIM CHARLIE

Episode 13:

Bitch... Dean's reaction to getting publicly hit on by a dude, so not the one a straight guy, confident in his sexuality and masculinity, "no-homo bro" would have (15:36). Just saying, we have seen Dean turn down what he thought were avances, and other implications regarding his sexuality, with either sarcasm/humor or anger... this is new. Progress?! [Wait till we get to 15x7]

Episode 16:

[Keep in mind how Dean's bedroom looks. Trust me]

Episode 17: OOOOHHH BOI

Cas has been tortured, mind-fucked, obligated to kill fake Deans over 1K times, in order to be ready to kill the real one. Let that sink in

Dean prayed to Cas, I'm sure almost every night, and can already sense something is not right with him ever since he came back from Purgatory (11:31), but when Sam questions his prayers to Cas, Dean doesn't know how to respond. Like, what, do I need a reason to try and contact my crush?

"There has to be another way. [...] This isn't right! [...] I won't hurt Dean!" (29:51-31:00) "Cas, fight this! This is not you! FIGHT IT!" and he does. Cas fights it. [and as soon as Cas starts fighting back, Heaven tints with BI COLOURS! LOOK AT THEM WINDOW THINGY (31:16) OF ALL COLOURS]

Dean is on the verge of tears, kneeling in front of Cas, telling him "This isn't you!", and to fight. He is pleading. And by the end, bloody, hopeless, "Cas... it's me! We're family. We need you... I need you." and Cas stops. (33:13)

Cas breaks the connection Naomi had installed in him. Once again, when presented with the choice, he chooses Dean over Heaven. All of this because Dean needed him. And let's not forget Dean was originally ment to say "I love you.", and that would've been the reason Cas snapped out of the control. I MEAN ICWAW THIS WOULD FUCKING BE CANON

Dean, thinking Cas is going to kill him, clutches onto the coat's sleeve for dear life, to the memory of his Cas (34:21) KILL ME

"What broke the connection?" The look in Cas' eyes... "I don't know." OH YES YOU DO (36:15) and Dean's face when Cas says he needs to protect the angel tablet. Dean knows he's gonna leave again (36:23). ICWAW, this whole scene would be the UMPTEENTH CONFESSION

Episode 18:

"I'm fine. Are you okay?" "Me?" "Yeah. Cass dinged you up pretty good." "... and?" "And I just wanted to make sure you're okay." "...What, like, my feelings?!" "If that's what you wanna talk about, sure." Dean gets pissy pretty easily when talking about Cas, who left once again, and his feelings. Also, Sam knows, and he ships it. He's president of the Destiel Company (4:02)

Episode 19:

The thing with the Deanny relationship is: Dean is naturally affectionate towards Sam, and he expresses the same towards Benny. His relationship with the both of them is very very similar, while see Dean showing affection towards Cas [same as he does with Sam] only during extreme emotional moments. Dean is known for repressing his feelings, and having a tendency to maintaining a "macho" exterior. He shows himself vulnerable in front of Cas, but not enough for him to think less of Dean. So, think about it

Episode 20:

Charlie, a lesbian, who has only ever heard of Castiel through Dean, describes him as seeming "dreamy" while talking to Dean... GAYDAR ANYONE??!!! (9:16)

Episode 21:

"In the words of a good friend... 'bite me'." Cas is quoting Dean, and if I remember correctly, Dean will quote Cas' "ass-butt" later on (16:"10)

Episode 22:

I hate when Dean treats Cas poorly, badly, because he can't deal with his feelings. In the heat of the moment, Dean is always forgiving, helpful and caring, but as soon As things cool down, he goes back to being cold, bitchy and snappy, like nothing ever happened. Repressed mother fucker

The small flash of hurt on Cas' face when Dean ignores his "Good morning" (3:33) fighting coupleTM. "Dean, I can go with you. *is ignored* Dean... I'm sorry. [LOOK AT THAT FACE]" "For what?" "For everything." "Everything? Like ignoring us?" #MARRIED

Cas is buying porn, beer and pie to make amends to Dean. "Where's the pie?" "I think we're out." "*grabs store clerk* You don't understand. I need pie!" (14:50) they are so fucking #MARRIED

Episode 23:

This is such a sweet moment. Cas is about to close the doors to his old home behind himself forever, while risking getting killed by his own kind, and Dean is worried about him. They are sharing drinks while longingly staring into each other's eyes. This is so sweet. Also, Dean warned Sam he might not be coming back. Why? Cuz he would probably die while trying to protect Cas from other angels. To them, they are probably spending their last moments together, while looking at each other like THAT (22:38) And 5 seconds of STARES (23:10)

In love. Fucking fools in love, that's what they are.

This is so stupid but they have just witnessed a cupid matching up two dudes, after all of the above⬆️ (23:53) AND IT'S JUST FUNNY!! Dean is stunned and all, while Cas is complitely fine and professional (24:04-24:17-24:21) DEAN'S FACE

"Talk first, stab later." (26:21) Cas is like "Bitch, you talking? That was our first date!" #MARRIED

[I'll just leave this here (37:00)]

Now shit's getting real

[Season 9>>]

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