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july-19th-club · 2 years

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Review for Roswell: New Mexico S2E08: “Say It Ain't So”: man out of uniform

3/5 ⭐s

There’s a LOT going on in “Say It Ain’t So” - from an extended euphoria arc for Rosa to hints at more of the Bronson household history - so I’ll try to get through all of it as methodically as I can.

First up: Rosa, who’s having a shit day - Rosa is often having a shit day - but this time it’s supposed to be a step forward. The episode opens with Liz and Iz foisting multiple makeovers on her, the idea being that she can quit being a dead girl in the attic if she comes back to town as her own distant cousin (like a trans person in the 1920s). But she’s deeply disturbed by the idea of living as some to-the-left version of herself for the rest of her life, and her friends have yet to really grasp the gravity of what the yawning gap between them means for her. They’re almost thirty, they’ve all got jobs, partnerships to navigate, and increasingly she’s becoming left behind while they run around doing plot stuff.

When she takes the frumpiest outfit she can find (not a classic Rosa look but a classic Rosa brand of sarcasm) and heads to one of her old graffiti spots, it’s not the same. Bitchy racist teenagers she can’t possibly relate to hang out there now, and when they leave she curls up against the rock and stares at her mom’s stolen prescription. She takes one of the pills out, goes to swallow - willpower prevails, she spits it back out, and I feel like rubbing her shoulder and telling her I’m proud. Another girl shows up; much nicer than the earlier ones. She’s impressed with Rosa’s artistic sensibilities, invites her to a show - Rosa, arriving, feels inadequate but excited nonetheless. With her new friend’s help, she adjusts her outfit to be more cool, gets a canvas going and comes up with a beautiful poetry-surrounded bird. “I’m not an artist,” she insists, “I’m just a person with a coping mechanism” - but she’s pretty pleased with her work anyway.

Then the other girl calls her Rosa, not Rosalinda - the name she’s supposed to be using - and suddenly she can tell something’s wrong. The music at the art show swells, she and the other girl dance, she’s spinning too fast, something’s burning — we cut to Liz, who finds her passed out on the floor of the graffiti cave, having never left it. She didn’t spit the pill back out; she went through several of them, and her errant powers have set some junk in the cave on fire. Later, in the hospital, she can’t stop feeling the backwards drag of the tide of her emotions; every day a clean slate that she says she always messes up.

Coming back to life didn’t erase the things that were wrong or hard before; in fact, the dissonance between the way her world was then and the way it is now have only amplified it all. She can’t think of herself as a person in the world, a living sister or daughter. And she desperately wants something to change but can’t do it by herself. Once again Amber Midthunder is hitting every single fucking note, which I know I say every time but she’s fucking good. It seems like this’ll be her last episode for a few, as well, since Rosa’s decided she’s going to try rehab again. So this weekend I’ll get my Midthunder watching Prey.

The biggest plot-related thru-line in the episode is the resolution of the ‘Cam abducted’ arc, but for all that, it’s the one with the least moving parts. It doesn’t take a genius mechanic or bioengineer to have guessed five and a half episodes ago that the military is behind this shit and not, y’know, some aliens. The long-spoken-of but never-yet-seen Charlie Cameron, Jenna’s sister the whistleblower, finally appears, and per her research, the group doing the abducting is called ‘Deep Sky.’ She doesn’t know much else about them, just that they’re the real dangerous deal and they are after some of her own work in genetics, making the Jenna rescue mission one to which she again sacrifices her own freedom.

Max’s recent good nature, meanwhile, is still holding out, and he has quit his job at the cop shop (doesn’t like office work while Jenna’s missing, which is all his boss is willing to give him after disappearing for six months and claiming it was because of a bad breakup). For cash, he’s picking up shifts at the Pony. He keeps saying it’s temporary, and knowing the show it’ll be a short temporary, but he honestly seems like he’s thriving. Liz seems like she’s thriving too, getting ready to start applying for research grants again, calling her boyfriend a bar wench, and slapping his little tush. But paradise isn’t safe from plot for long, since Max is Charlie’s buddy for the episode, and in the stinger he chases her to the hotel parking lot where she’s planning to turn herself in. She warns him away - a now-familiar beam begins to glow...and our favorite big galoot gets caught in the glare.

There are a few encounters throughout the episode with Pater Manes, whose pleas of frailty are as unbelievable as ever, whether he’s matter-of-factly opining to Max in the diner that he just doesn’t hate stuff like he used to or glumly submitting to the judgment of his son at the hospital (Jesse: “I failed”/Alex, are-you-fucking-hearing-this-shit: “...YES.”). As a villain he is hateable but not particularly slick, although he seems to think he is. Jenna’s been the only person who’s approached him all season with anything more than outright skepticism and distaste, and look where that got her - abducted. For my money, either he’s exaggerating his physical weakness specifically for the son who will be sympathetic to that, or he’s actually out of shape but still pulling the strings from the bench. Either way, if there’s a rule of thumb for this character, it’s the obvious one: every single thing that comes out of his mouth is bullshit.

Elsewhere Alex, who sometimes does not think things through, has invited Forrest Long on a date to go paintballing, a messy activity of simulated violence that you’d think a man with a fraught history with violence would be less eager for.* One gets the impression that he’s trying, in his own way, to impress his date - not with wine and flowers, but with how casually he can Date People. He admitted to Maria a few episodes ago that he’s never had a real relationship, and the closer you get to thirty without that kind of experience, the more anxiety-inducing even the simplest hangouts can be. He thinks he’ll be fine - the park actually holds good childhood memories for him, and it’s not a trigger - but the real danger doesn’t come until later, when he admits that he still struggles to be comfortable even being seen with a man in public. With Michael, that has never been a concern - Michael would no more ask for publicity than he’d expect it - and that might be the only way in which Michael never really challenged him.

Forrest, meanwhile, I am reserving judgment on. So far he’s just some guy, and the thing that stood out to me most in this episode was his suggestion at the end that ~avoiding the dangers of a bar full of conservatives in order to enjoy a date more privately~ is the same as ~stepping into someone else’s closet~. It rankled me in a specific way that I get by ‘plots on tv where outness is talked about as if safety is not the point of the closet.’ Forrest has some dumb ideas of what constitutes hot (repeat after me: pissing off the bigots by being loud and proud in front of them is only cool if they don’t have the immediate ability to HURT you), and frankly, this far into the show I’d expected less naive writing. This is a dense issue I don’t want to beat to death in a tv review, and I’m by no means the authority in queer voices on it, but at this point it’s a very old chestnut that just does not get me real excited about where this relationship is going.**

Then again, there’s a significance to the fact that Alex declines going to the bar he knows is safe, opting instead for the bar where he would have to draw that caveat. One date in, and he is already putting up barriers to a relationship’s success - possibly on purpose, possibly because he cannot convince himself that this is the man he wants...and hey - if your date backs off first, you don’t have to address that thought.

Last but not least, Maria is leaning hard into the psychic powers now that she’s past the initial shock, and wants to see if they have practical applications beyond ‘becoming untethered from time and memory.’ Michael calls her necklace (the one with the flower that has the power-dampening properties) ‘preventative medicine’ and even sends Izzy to belabor the point, a decision that he has got to know is just gonna make his girlfriend grouchy. But Isobel actually gets where she’s coming from - she’s going through a self-discovery arc of her own - though points out that practice for her is a little easier than practice for Maria, whose power manifests so degeneratively. What they can do is natural to Izzy; it’s more like a grafted limb for Maria.

Still, she’s fairly confident for now that she’ll know when she hits the danger threshold, and be able to balance her health with her eagerness to learn more about what she can do. And for that very reason I’m...much less confident. So is Michael, who spends his episode at cross purposes to his sister and his girlfriend, hunting around in the lab for more of the plant, not just for Maria’s sake but also for her mom’s. But she’s already lent her necklace to Rosa, whose powers are also unpredictable and unasked for, and who is drowning far quicker. She reassures him that she can handle herself, and he says he knows that, but it’s Michael. We’ve seen this scared-caring side of him before, whenever any of his loved ones are in real danger, and it now seems certain that his worries and Maria’s determination will drive a psychic wedge between them while the lingering ex-lover I’d thought would be the cause is off attempting mild-mannered normal human dates with mild-mannered normal human men.

The final development (because this review, plus the footnotes, is like 3000 words long) is one Maria herself manages to dig up: a vision she and Iz have shows a small Walt making a toy windmill for one of his alien mother figures. The mention of it jogs Michael’s memory immediately - he turns around and plucks the very toy right off a shelf at Sanders’ Auto. Turns out you can find insiders to an alien conspiracy in the weirdest of places these days.

*Episodes that get into characters’ military lives are always ones I find myself watching with a hairy eyeball, because I’m a crank and I’ll let myself overlook some things but not others. As it turns out, this is a background that Forrest and Alex have in common, and there are just...simply a lot of fucking military people in this town. Being a Michael in some ways, I instinctively find it harder to root for these characters without a certain amount of dubiousness. Really, you can’t engage with American media without looking at how it talks about its military. But it’s also fair to say that on American network television, a show with even very vague antiwar messages is a thing you have to be actively looking for, let alone any kind of blanket condemnation. As things go, R:NM is somewhere in the middle of the park of ‘vaguely pacifist messages’ - its soldier characters are either good people trying to put a troubling past behind them, or very bad people who are proud of how well they can hold onto prejudice and who face some kind of narrative comeuppance. The consequences of war that don’t directly apply to the plot: the ruined economies; the dead, displaced, or demeaned citizens of occupied areas; the culture that perpetuates horrific things inside the ranks and at the hands thereof - go largely untouched, at least as they apply to real conflict, aside from the scifi conflict involving the crash refugees. And that’s probably about as much contemplation of the war machine as we’re likely to get. When in doubt, Roswell tends to err on the side of saying less, which (unless it wants to switch genres entirely) seems like the smart option.

**Or...maybe this is one of those plots that’s just too personal to write about 100% objectively - dovetailing as it does with my own anxieties and fears about rural queer dating. As a viewer I simply can’t sympathize with the more confident character in this situation; his experience has nothing to say to mine. A quiet, satisifed, personal knowledge of myself and my sexuality is different, or it feels like it’s different, than the feeling I get when I see other queer people out and about in my town: a blink of ‘Oh, god, I’m not alone’ relief, but then a rush of fear, a bone-deep conviction that these people need to hide, before something bad happens, before someone says something. When Alex talks about the voice in his head constantly aware of embarrassment, it’s not just common social fear. In his experience, ‘embarrassment’ is code for ‘grounds for punishment.’ And as a viewer, that’s the experience that recognizes me. It’s not shame. It’s hypervigilance. Like the man said: there are some complicated triggers out there.

PAINT SPLATTERS

Jamie Clayton!!!!!! Hiiiiiii oh for the love of god hello Jamie Clayton. Always a genuine pleasure to see you. Down from the halls of atmospheric high-concept evolution-of-the-human-mind prestige dramas to grace our humble little show.

Forrest, upon finding out that Alex only has the one leg: “Why don’t you lead with that? Heroism is sexy.” ... Actually, I’ve decided, I hate Forrest. That guy says the dumbest shit. I mean, leaving aside the whole question of whether there can be such a thing as heroism in a bottomless foreign conflict over economic interests resulting in the death of thousands of innocents that benefits only the few...half an hour in Alex’s company should be enough to tell anyone he’s not interested in attention over his war exploits and in fact is pretty much actively avoiding it. What does the man want, like “Uh, just so you know, I’ve had a leg shot off in a situation which really does not affect your life freedoms in any actionable way. You can thank me any time.” You think he’d be sexier if he was a complete tool? That’s what you sound like, Forrest.

On that same note, Forrest’s lack of bragging is different than Alex’s, and that feels significant: Forrest doesn’t lead with his military background because he feels inadequate next to a decorated Manes. Alex doesn’t bring it up because he simply is not that proud of the moral decisions that led him there.

On that OTHER same note, “I don’t lead with it” is actually not 100% true because it was the second goddamn thing he said to Michael during their first scene together in the pilot. And then Michael immediately insulted him. I see you both

You know what I love about Michael? He would never be caught dead suggesting he likes a man in uniform. He hates a man in uniform. Take that thing off I can’t get used to it. Put on some normal clothes. Smdh.

If your humble reviewer sounds overly critical of the American military system and every single participant (fictional ones included) therein, that’s because I am! Just because I’m enjoying this show doesn’t mean I’m not also enjoying dissecting it to death every time its politics and mine disagree.

#sometimes a review is a review #and sometimes a review is a long-ass dissection of the show’s and my differing politics #as well as all of the ways i think they are writing too naively about specific queer experiences #That Plot I Hate is here again! it was so blissfully not there during the first season and a half #and i finally realized it’s because neither of the parties were INTERESTED in Outness as a statement #it was...honestly kind of refreshing #reviews #roswell nm #roswell: new mexico #q

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athousandmorningss · 2 years

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Sometimes I feel I’m in a fever dream. Like, there’s this whole ass man that was a stranger to me nearly three years ago but here he is, in the house slippers I bought him, muttering and bitching as he cleans the litter box. A wild & weird thing to make a home with a stranger, still-knowing ourselves and each other, at the same time, the miracle of this reduced in the burden of everyday tasks.

A miracle, too, that in this economy nobody’s snowballing, yet a 60 cent stamp sent attached to a sealed letter reveals the father in law I met at my best-friends wedding is dead, after taking a fall on Christmas eve & laying bedridden in the month’s since. He was, of course, the brightest light at the wedding: his age hidden in face and spirit that read decades younger. J tells me they tagged him before they even go to say goodbye--

I’m pondering what it means to have been her friend for nearly two decades and to feel, in spite of these confessions and penned experiences, the death of our friendship. I can’t parse if she knows, or cares, is in denial, or doesn’t have time to worry about such things. For upwards of two years I’ve been trying, and giving, excuses. I guess it’s over, though, and I’m not sure what to do with this loss.

I’m tryna trace my family history, tryna parse together meaning and answers. Read Tupelo Hassman’s Girlchild, finishing its pages in my favorite coffee shop & having to had my crying behind it’s chapters. Wanted to howl at the deep-felt connections of shared experiences: how girl children, particularly our bodies, serve as spaces to act out all manner of violence and abuse when men have no other outlet: how the most obvious prey is the easiest pray, how the similarity of these experiences healed me but troubled me: namely, in that I felt more anger at the mother (my mother) for leaving me with him, than I did for him having committed the act. Another wound reopened, calling to be attended to.

Anyways. In trying to trace the history, I contact Cousin Sam for the first time in over two decades and try to peace together a conversation with her. She’s so eager to contact & recount old memories that I can’t help but wonder what it is she’s trying to heal. I call uncle Ronnie. The first time, he reveals too much, namely about my mother’s death. I take two months to call him back, and when I do, he pauses for half a second before settling in to a conversation about family dramas and family hopes in which I ask questions, redirect, try to learn more. We’re to meet next month, for the first time in two decades. I feel at once hopeful and exhausted and scared. I have questions I’m hoping he might answer.

In meantime. We took a trip to Arkansas, a state only on our places to visit because of its proximity. It surprised us with its expansive beauty: the Ozark mountains demanding in their beauty, nestled between miles of farmland: cows taken to soupy green water to cool themselves in the summer heat. We’re nearly three years into our marriage and truths needed telling: I’m trying to parse if these are worries I can, and am willing, to address and accommodate. *

In meantime, I’ve taken to the local park at sunset when the birds gather to sound and sway in tandem, making their way to the tops of leaves to convene and converse. It’s no small miracle to watch their gathering every few days: its music and timing predictable and exacting, reminding me of my small place in this ever-expansive world, try as I might to mark myself and make myself out here. Try as I might.

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finsterhund · 3 months

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Doing shit like watching Anaconda while high has made me realize that an integral part to how humanity has demonized snakes in culture is by depicting the animal as an inherently sapient serial killer with a vore fetish and then proceeding to try and gaslight the audience into believing it's just a normal naturally evolved animal without human comparable sapience.

Sharks get a bad portrayal too of course but if anything the "mindless killer" depiction sharks get is less of a drastic demonization than "this ambush predator goes out of its way to torture fellow sapient prey first even if it's not at all advantageous to its survival" that snakes get.

There's a scene where the snake somehow curls its coils like they're a prehensile tail around prey before THEN LOOMING OVER and slowly going to swallow. When snakes literally lead in with a bite and then reflexively curl their coils in a similar motion to how alligators death roll to rip pieces. Like. That snake is intentionally doing something stupid and unnatural for the benefit of the audience. It's showing off. The snake is fully aware of the theatrics. There's no way this animal can be how snakes evolved in our real world. That thing cound understand the trolley problem. That thing could probably be taught to work a call center or pay taxes.

Jurassic Park always felt pretty realistic despite wildly inaccurate mutant dinosaurs because while clever, you get the sense that say for instance the raptors in particular, are behaving like real animals. The things they do are within the realm of possibilities for what we know about the species and modern comparisons. They act like birds! Like corvids. Then you fucking have pennywise-tier "fear seasons the meat" snake making sure his throat pouch looks real nice in the wide shot angle.

Ironically the most realistic portrayal of a hypothetical man-eating snake is Kaaa from fucking Disney's jungle book. The OG motherfucker. This bastard is in a 2D cartoon singing and using hypnotism and shit but still within this cartoon slapstick ass universe behaves more like you expect a snake would. Fat lazy and stupid. Just find a way to get the prey to give itself over to you. Sure. Fuck it I don't care. I'm gonna nap in this tree until something comes and bonks me on the head.

With that being said I also do find other creatures that aren't anatomically modern bipedal hairless apes having comparable sentience and sapience to us in media to be deeply fascinating so you must understand that I do have some fondness for the serial killer snake bullshit. But yeah. It kinda sucks people do it to a real animal though.

Then I have my monsters where I'm like, not trying to deny they're like, sapient, but there's evolutionary similarities between them and lizards. Because fuck it. That's cool. But I'm not gonna like, throw real life geckos under the bus for the sake of giving added "legitimacy" to my fantasy creature. Just fucking own it that it's a fantasy creature. Like tremors did. Fucking love tremors.

Anyways.

Idk where I was going with this.

Human media in its portrayal of snakes as an inherently evil animal has always really leaned into "this snake is sapient and likes to hurt things on purpose" pretty much since square one. It's actually really depressing. My mom is absolutely fucking terrified of snakes and every time someone tries to get to the bottom of why it's because she's attributing human reason to the behaviors of a wild animal. This is a fucking tube of stinky boy that likes to be fat and warm and safe. It is the most basal of instincts to want to be fat and warm and safe.

Anyways I love snakes if you couldn't tell. And I don't mean to insult them by calling them big dumb lazy fat stinky idiots. You can also call human babies these things. I'm just saying they literally don't have a thing going on in those cute little stubby heads of theirs even remotely comparable to malice. Provided they feel safe they are one of the more docile types of animals out there.

I think humans just want to see dragons where there are no dragons. I'm sorry you can't see a dragon. I'm really sorry. I wish we had dragons too.

#text post #negative

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cinnamon-syrup · 3 years

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good movie night foods for when you don’t have popcorn: bulgur

#anyway we are watching birds of prey it is as cool as the first time :)#for future me

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bored-storyteller · 3 years

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Thank you dear Anon for your request! Also because, I had already started writing a possible sequel on my own, your request arrives perfectly!

Note: I imagined these events after the one-shot you find here. In any case there are only subtle references.

35- Tokyo Ghoul- Uta x human!Reader (pt. 2)

"Beyond the Mask"

Uta sees you there, curled up in the chair in front of the table like a wet little bird, despite the fact that you are now wearing his warm clothes, which fall softly on your frightened figure. He doesn't mind lending it to you, on the contrary, he tried to find something that wasn't too extravagant, coming out with a heavy black sweatshirt and wide gray pants. He thought that this clothing could help you put yourself at ease, but he also understands that being wrapped in his clothes for you doesn't have to be so reassuring. You probably accepted this only to avoid being immersed in the nauseating humidity of the body fluids that stick to your skin.

He can't tell if your following him was a sign of courage or fear. You didn't say anything, and the few words you whispered were kind; you also thanked him. It almost seems like you are straining to try to be calm, but it's the small, meaningless gestures that betray you. Earlier you insisted that he be the first to shower and change, although it would have been more logical for you to go first; yet perhaps for you that was a way to get the killer monster out of sight, or at least partially forget it.

Uta is unable to understand you right now, nor does he really pretend to, he is already grateful enough that you are intelligent enough to understand that it would be almost suicidal to return to your home in the condition you were in, especially after what it happened.

No, he doesn't pretend to understand you, but to understand himself a little more, yes. Uta is a labyrinth, with a thousand streets inside, which intersect and cancel each other out. A thousand paradoxical streets where after a turning point you can find someone completely different than the person you met. Yet all those roads are authentic and sincere, in their sweetness or in their violence.

He is aware of this, it is clear to him, but as the owner of his soul he should know how to pull the strings, understand what is happening inside. Yet he doesn't know now, or he can't really explain it.

He feels sadness, a deep sadness to see you so small and afraid. He would like to hope your snuggling up to him in that alley was dictated by mutual trust and not despair, but he doesn't even know if you're aware of that. He doesn't really want you to be scared of him, but at the same time he sees no way to stop it.

He also feels angry with you. Because deep down he knows that you are unconsciously judging him. The same fear you evidently feel makes him angry. He didn't eat you, right? So why do you have to be so scared in front of him? It was you who ran into his arms, wasn't it?

Yet he still can't tell you that, because you are doing absolutely nothing threatening towards him. You simply indulge him timidly, tremblingly accepting his care that will never be able to reassure you.

Maybe you've never really felt as confident in him as Uta hoped. Being in his house, first naked in his bathroom and now in his clothes maybe it wouldn't have been pleasant for you even if he had been human, let alone now with all the terror you've accumulated… after what you saw.

Uta is the author and accomplice of things that you would consider horrible, it is his nature, he is not able to change, he needs that to feel alive.

But you also make him feel alive. He likes that cordial, playful confidence that you take with him, the one that remains within limits, but which somehow transmitted the affection of a kind heart; like that time, when you playfully smeared his nose with red paint with the brush you were using. You apologized right away, but you laughed happily and enjoyed watching him, and Uta liked it, so much that he returned the favor with some yellow color.

You are spontaneous, and he likes it, even if now this spontaneity of yours is pulling you away from him, even though you try to pretend it isn't.

In the end, he really wants to take care of you. But how can he do it? He can't even really offer you anything other than a cup of bitter coffee.

He looks for a moment at his own reflection in the dark drink, so indistinct and blurry, before placing the cup on the shelf in front of you slowly.

You look at him suddenly, as if you have just woken up. Uta smiles kindly at you: he has always been kind to you. You smile at him too, but he could swear that you only do it to please him, for fear of a negative reaction from him.

He would really like to sit in front of you, so he can talk as you do every time you meet in the coffee shop, but he instead leans against the wall with his back, a wall quite far from your warmth and your presence. He too has a hot cup in his tattooed hands, but he doesn't really want coffee; maybe he just hoped that if he drank something familiar to you - something that didn't speak your language before he was devoured - you would trust again.

You take a sip, probably more out of politeness than out of desire, and your expression turns into a small involuntary pout as you perceive the bitterness of the coffee on your tongue.

Uta would find it funny if it weren't for the whole situation.

"I'm sorry…" his quiet voice of him draws your attention to himself. He doesn't really know what he's apologizing for. "I have no ... sugar ..."

The relaxed musicality of his voice is slightly cracked by uncertainty.

He has no sugar to console you, no regular sugar at least. It's already strange that he got the coffee. He never really welcomes real guests, only customers, now that he thinks about it; there are rare times when he really has to welcome someone outside of his "business", generally speaking.

You do not answer immediately, your gaze cannot help wandering over his figure, his body, his chest and his abdomen.

He smooths his baggy black sweater, as if to make you realize he's noticing your eyes, and then take a sip from his cup.

"Don't worry, it's okay ..." you assure "in the end ... I like to try new things ..."

Are you talking about sugar?

Your voice is a twitter that leaves him with vague hope. Are you trying to tell him something?

He's not really afraid of you going around talking, you told him you wouldn't and he knows you won't. You are not that different from Renji in this.

You turn the cup over in your fingers, looking at that dark liquid, and then turn to him again.

"Don't ... want to sit down?"

You ask him shyly, as if you feared rejection, but you asked him anyway.

You amaze him, of course. That is a little melancholy surprise, your calling him close, your giving him a little illusion of closeness.

But do you really want him there?

With a nod he slowly approaches, as if he is approaching a wounded animal - or prey - and he slowly sits in front of you.

The cups of coffee that nobody wants look at each other, placed in front, close together, like when you happen to meet at the end of the day in the cafe. It was a good time for Uta, he enjoyed pretending that there were no Ghouls and Humans, silenced his hunger so attracted to you and focused on the pleasure of your presence as if you were no different.

But now the charade is over, you two are not alike, and for some reason it hurts him.

Your gaze rests docile on his face, and he smiles lightly.

He is beautiful, you really think so. In a way, those red and black eyes are the only ones that fit him. Uta is not of an objective beauty, he must like him, and you really like him.

"You know..." your murmur puts him on alert "I ... I hear the news but ... it's hard to think that it could happen to you, when you hear about ghouls ..."

"It didn't happen to you."

His calm voice stops you immediately, and despite his flat tone makes you feel accused. He didn't hurt you, you can't say he's your turn. If anything, he is the turn of your tormentor.

"I ... no ... I meant that I had never thought of meeting one ..."

You justify shy, and he realizes he scared you. You're probably thinking that the first misstep you take will automatically become his next meal.

His lips press in a thin line, while he looks at you calmly.

"We are not that rare, you know ..."

He informs you, understanding that you would never speak if he remained silent.

There were ghouls even more integrated into human society than he. You were kind of his exception to him, his regular break from his violent life, even though he still had other human connections.

"Do you want to eat me?"

The question comes out suddenly, interrupting any flow of thought. It is less insecure than you thought, but deep down you both know that that's the core of it all.

He looks you straight in the eye, without giving in to the gaze and somehow gluing your pupils into his.

He could tell you that if he had wanted he would have done it already, he could say many things, yet he doesn't want to lie, he owes you and you owe it to him.

"It would be nice."

His voice is kind of calming despite the harshness of those words. As scary as they are, you don't react, and let him talk again.

"But it would also be extremely sad for me."

His tattooed fingers twirl around the slowly cooling cup, and you wonder if his heart has started beating a little faster, like yours, despite his mute expression.

"As tempting as eating you may be ... it would be very sad not to see you again."

A spark suddenly lights up in your eyes, it's so beautiful and bright that Uta opens his lips slightly in amazement, seeing that little light in you, so unexpectedly. He can't say if it is the hope of being able to live still that ignited it or that unspoken admission of affection, but that's okay with him.

"Would you be sad, Uta?"

You ask with a voice covered with expectations. He does not know how it happened, but it seems that your focus has shifted to something else, so suddenly.

Your cheeks just blush, and you smile as you look down at your hands. That smile isn't for him, it's for you. Uta wasn't hoping to see you smile again, yet there you were, wrapped in his baggy clothes smiling genuinely, as if you had suddenly forgotten the fear.

Your fingers intertwine in front of the cup, and your face doesn't dare lift up on him, but this time it's not fear that stops you.

“A Ghoul… sure, I had to know. In fact, in the end I knew it. Being a human would have been too trivial for you. "

Take another sip of coffee, and this time you commit yourself to putting up with the bitterness, even if you don't quite succeed.

Uta allows himself a slight amused smile.

"Oh yes?"

His is a rhetorical question that you just nod.

He drinks too, plunging both of you into a less heavy silence, but which still lingers in Uta's mind doubts that he would like to silence.

"Now where will you go?"

He is used to those he cares about disappearing far away. It wouldn't be new to see you walk away from him, he's not really hoping to be able to hold you back, despite what you said. Life simply changes people, and with them the world, he is aware of it, as he is aware of the fact that after this night the world between you two has changed, and as always you will be the one to change with it, while he will remain there, immobile.

"Do you want ... I have to go home?"

You ask confused, glancing towards the door. Night out scares you, you prefer the wolf's lair more than the dark and unpredictable shadows of the dark hours.

You didn't understand what he meant, how could you? Yet somehow Uta expected you to do it, he expected you to tell him this was goodbye. Yeah, is this goodbye?

"No, you don't have to go home if you don't want to ..."

It's hard to ask you to stay, to really stay. It is difficult to ask you to stay with him, because if you refused it would be a defeat, if you felt forced you would no longer be you.

“So you can't eat the food? Normal food I say ... so the idea of inviting you to lunch is out of the question. "

Your words break the melancholy in his mind again. He looks at you, his head slightly bent towards his right shoulder:

"Did you want to invite me to lunch?"

You wonder if it's really that surprising that you had such an idea. Should you be ashamed of it? Maybe this is inappropriate for him?

"I wanted. I mean, I've thought about it. It seemed nice to me. "

It seemed nice to you. You were cute, Uta often thought that. Here it is again, your gentle affection; it would have been a problem to refuse you if you really asked him to share lunch. He had never gotten used to pretending to eat human food, even though he tolerated smells quite well by now.

“Anyway, that's a kind thought of you. Thank you."

Without the glasses, his expression is even more gentle. It seems paradoxical, compared to the figure of him, but still, Uta is so unique.

"Not very kind if it kills you."

You mutter to yourself, looking away in embarrassment. In fact, now that you really know he's a ghoul a lot of your talk may no longer make sense.

"No ..." you hear him chuckle slightly, lightly and yet amused "we don't die so easily unfortunately for you ... I'd end up feeling extremely bad."

Suddenly the argument between you lightens up without either of you really noticing. He feels it, almost palpable, the boulder in his chest becoming light at the sound of curiosity that colors your voice as you confirm that you understand: it is the same curiosity as when you ask him questions about his masks, the colors he uses or his tattoos, he clearly recognizes it, which has now almost become part of both of you.

"I have so much to ask you, Uta" you admit, smiling at him fondly "but for now, thank you for everything you've done."

His nonexistent brows go up, looking at you as if he's asking if you were serious. But you did, sure, he knew.

"Thanks to you for bringing me dinner downstairs."

Uta doesn't mince words, he never did, and it was something you loved. He was always contemptuous and edgy in his calm and delicacy of him, it was a humor all of him, no one could ever look like Uta.

He makes you laugh, despite the macabre implied, and he's happy. He feels lighter, freer, and this seems to apply to you too.

One of his laboriously painted hands moves towards your face. He doesn't even notice, it's a gesture dictated by instinct, from his heart. Only when he's about to touch your cheek does he freeze, dumbfounded as to what to do, wondering in his head what the hell he was doing, why he did it.

He fears to see you retract at his touch, fears to see you hide and still does not understand why he fears so much the rejection of a human, a human who should be food and who instead twists his stomach with just a look.

He tries to retreat first, before it's late, but your hands stop him.

His fingers are now squeezed between yours, tenderly, as you tenderly bring them to your face. The hand that presses on his back is warmer than his skin, but the one that squeezes his palm has frozen fingertips, he feels them pinch against his skin. In yet another gesture of care for you, his fingers close on yours, to warm them.

And while you hold him he holds you, you hold both of you, and he knows you don't know him, that you haven't seen the dark side of him yet nor does he know if he will ever have the courage to show it to you, but for now that's okay .

Now he's no longer alone in his charade with you. You are no longer his audience, you are the actor who responds to his sentences in front of that cruel world. But luckily now, behind the scenes, his mask is no longer needed.

"I promise I'll take you for a better coffee tomorrow."

"I accept with great pleasure."

#uta tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul x reader #uta x human reader #uta x reader #anime oneshot #oneshot #Tokyo ghoul oneshot

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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 3 years

Note

Can you talk about autistic Hawk/Eil

Sure, I’d love to!!!

Credit where credit is due, of course--I got a lot of my Autistic Eli headcanons from @jackonthelongwalk, who’s got a little more authority to speak on the subject since he’s actually autistic and whatnot. I mainly just saw his takes and was like “THOSE ARE GOOD TAKES” and adopted all of them XD Although I DID come up with a few of my own headcanons!!! I’ll just compile everything here.

~Eli tends to be pretty particular about physical touch, and a lot of the time he doesn’t really like it. Over the years, Demetri’s found that one type of touch that Eli’s okay with is shoulder-squeezing, and it kinda becomes their thing. Typically Demetri giving Eli a quick shoulder squeeze helps comfort him and makes him feel safe by basically reassuring him “I’m here for you, I’ve got your back.” You can see Demetri give Eli a shoulder squeeze in 2x09 when he’s comforting him about Moon, and he does the EXACT same one in the school fight in 2x10 just before kicking him into the trophy case. I think it was his way of saying “even though we’re fighting right now, I still care about you” and that kinda helped snap Hawk out of his near-psychopathic rage. In Season 3, he’s still shitty to Demetri, obviously, but it’s more controlled, not as unhinged or feral--even when Hawk breaks his arm, he hesitates a LOT before and regrets it IMMEDIATELY after in a way I’m not sure his UNCHECKED RAEEEGE self would have during the school fight.

~Over the years Demetri develops kind of a sixth sense of when Eli is about to have a meltdown. He’s able to pick up on super minute changes in body language, changes in the way Eli speaks, small alterations in Eli’s general temperament--basically anything that indicates he’s getting overwhelmed. That’s actually how he discovers the shoulder squeeze tactic--Demetri realizes he needs a quick way to comfort and reassure Eli when he can’t go in for a full hug (like they’re in the middle of class or something) so he can calm Eli down a bit and stop him from having a meltdown. Mainly because Demetri knows the bullies will have a field day if Eli cries in front of the other kids, so the shoulder squeeze develops as sort of a way to protect Eli from this.

~At some point after Demetri first started using the shoulder touch/squeeze on Eli, Eli started also using it on Demetri to quickly communicate affection/appreciation. Demetri isn’t nearly as touch-averse or picky with physical touch as Eli, and would’ve been okay with a number of physical touches, but he’s honestly super touched that Eli saw him doing a thing and was like “Oh hey!!! Demetri does this thing to me and it makes me feel safe and loved, so I’m sure it’ll do the same if I do it to him!!!” It kinda becomes their special touch, and becomes somewhat of a silent “I love you” (although obviously these two clueless idiots are led to believe it’s ONLY platonic love for many, many years XD). You can see Eli give a little shoulder pat/squeeze to Demetri at the beach party in 1x09!!

~Eli really does not like being touched around or under the chin, mainly because this is how bullies like Kyler touch him and it’s triggering for him. Demetri basically never touches him here. Even after they get together and start getting intimate, Demetri tends to touch/stroke Eli’s cheeks or the side of his head if he wants to touch his face, but he avoids touching Eli’s chin like the plague because he knows how much Eli dislikes it. This is something Eli really deeply appreciates--even Moon wasn’t able to catch on to the fact that he didn’t like having his chin touched, and he was too obsessed with coming across as “tough” to her to admit that it bothered him. Moon didn’t mean any harm at all, of course, she just wasn’t able to pick up on his more subtle indications that he wasn’t a huge fan of chin touches. Demetri has come to pick these indications up by second nature.

~The whole thing Demetri does at the beginning of the show where he kinda talks “for” Eli (the thing that, ironically, people loooooove to blast him about for being a “terrible friend”) I think is largely done because Eli is autistic. Eli seems to have a lot of social anxiety right from the get-go--he doesn’t even verbally greet Miguel when he first sits with him and Demetri and Demetri introduces Eli. Eli just kinda awkwardly smiles and nods at him. He’s obviously not great with social cues either, which we see later on--he’s so PAINFULLY oblivious to the fact that Piper is super not at all into it when he tries to hit on her in Season 2. I imagine after a number of social blunders in their youth, and seeing just how uncomfortable and anxious social situations made Eli, Demetri took the reigns and did a lot of communicating FOR Eli to take some of the pressure off of him to talk. I’d argue that once Demetri is taken out of the picture, we can see in full force JUST how socially anxious and uncomfortable Eli really is--he seems damn near terrified trying to stand up for himself against Johnny when Demetri’s not there. He’s lowkey stuttering and tripping over his words, his voice is shaking. He nearly leaves the room in tears. He’s used to letting Demetri be his voice, and this seems to be what makes him feel safest and most secure. When this is taken away, he has to find a new way to protect himself--hence, possibly, the entire Hawk persona.

~Eli has a lot of issues with emotional regulation and often feels emotions really, really strongly and gets overwhelmed by them--as an ADHDer, this is a struggle I understand SO MUCH. When Eli gets really overwhelmed with strong emotion, he tends to have meltdowns. These can be either sadness-based meltdowns (like we see in the flashback) or angry meltdowns (like we see when he beats Brucks up). Due to his emotional regulation issues, Eli has a really hard time hiding his emotions or stopping a meltdown once it kinda onsets--this is why he tends to “bawl” at movies. Once he starts crying, he can’t really stop, or reign it in--it just keeps coming. He also can’t really hold it back--his emotions tend to force their way out, whether he wants them to or not. This is also why he goes so HARD when he’s angry--wailing on Brucks, throwing punch after punch at Demetri at the school fight, getting carried away and attacking Robby’s injured shoulder at the tournament. His anger (and other emotions) tends to just kinda explode out, and he has a really hard time reigning them back in and keeping them in check. Demetri, ever the voice of ration and reason, can help with this--and probably has a lot, historically. With Demetri less and less in the picture and their relationship on the rocks, Eli’s emotions just seem to get even more wild and uncontrolled, particularly his anger. Part of the reason I think Demetri and Eli work so well together--Eli tends to get very caught up in his emotions (no shame in that--I’ll admit I do too!), and needs someone to help him keep his feet on the ground and be the pragmatist who helps him keep things in perspective.

~Karate is most definitely a special interest for him. It lowkey takes over his life and he makes it damn near his entire identity--big special interest energy. And Demetri (at first, at least) is lowkey so supportive!!! Like he goes to the all-valley tournament to support and cheer Eli on, despite not having any personal interest in fighting and seeming to think the whole thing is the kind of dumb macho shit that goes against everything his nerd identity stands for XD But he goes to the tournament anyways to clap for his boyfriend best friend’s badassery!!! The real MVP!!! Also special interests in general (not unlike ADHD hyperfixations) tend to be very random, hence why seemingly out of nowhere Eli gets absolutely OBSESSED with karate.

~Just a random little headcanon I have (I think I mentioned it on one of my general headcanon posts), but I like to think after Eli adopts the whole “Hawk” persona, he gets a special interest in birds of prey in general for a little while. Like back before he’s too “tough” for anything even remotely related to “nerd shit,” he watches nature documentaries on raptors and the whole 9 yards and constantly rambles excitedly to Demetri about how badass he thinks they are, and how cool it is that they can “literally hunt mice from the sky and shit” (probably an exact quote from him). Demetri finds this sudden new obsession both amusing and kind of endearing--but as always, he shows an interest in it and accommodates it as best he can. I imagine he’s seen Eli go through a number of special interests over the years, and is a pro by now on how to handle them (my own childhood best friend is a fellow ADHDer, and he was CONSTANTLY getting new hyperfixations--I imagine it was something like that XD).

~The whole “Hawk” persona in general seems pretty autistic, speaking of that--like it’s almost entirely based in mimicry and masking. Like Hawk pretty frequently mimics Johnny’s expressions, body language, and speech patterns, and (at least at first) Miguel’s fighting style. He also starts to mimic a lot of Kreese’s problematic views and general “never accept defeat” attitude in late Season 2 and Season 3, setting his good old Bastardization Arc in full swing. The whole Hawk thing could easily be masking, especially given how exaggerated and overdramatic Eli’s facial expressions, voice, and actions tend to be when he’s trying to be Hawk. When he slips back into “Eli” (or how he was before he adopted the mask), it’s usually around Demetri (i.e. the Doctor Who conversation)--which makes sense, since Demetri “gets” Eli better than most people and Eli doesn’t have to mask or overexaggerate his expressions or statements to communicate effectively with Demetri. They’ve known each other so long and Demetri is so familiar with his body language and mannerisms that Demetri is able to pick up fairly easily on what Eli’s trying to communicate/express without Eli having to work too hard at getting his point across. It’s why Eli’s expressions and body language aren’t nearly as exaggerated around Demetri, even when he’s trying to intimidate him--he knows he doesn’t have to overstate what he’s doing to communicate with Demetri.

~Relating back to the social troubles and social anxiety thing, I think Eli has always had trouble communicating verbally, hence why he’s so quiet at first. And even when he does get more talkative, a lot of it is mimicking other people’s speech patterns and ideas (namely Johnny’s at first)--it doesn’t really feel like him talking. Even alone with Demetri, he tends to prefer to let Demetri do the talking, hence Demetri saying Eli’s a “man of few words.” He often prefers to communicate nonverbally through body language, and when he DOES communicate verbally, he does it somewhat sparingly and chooses his words carefully, not usually bothering to say things he doesn’t mean (if he isn’t masking, anyways). THIS is why Demetri was so ready to accept such a short, concise “I’m sorry for all of it” from Eli instead of a long, drawn-out apology for each individual thing he did wrong. Eli knows he doesn’t have to bother masking to communicate with Demetri, so he’s not going to bother saying something that isn’t genuine. Eli has never been the greatest at articulating his thoughts verbally either, so TRYING to apologize for each individual thing he did to Demetri would be extremely hard for him, and Demetri knows this. This is why he accepts Eli’s apology without question and doesn’t expect him to elaborate on it. He knows Eli’s communicating a lot more than he’s actually saying aloud, if that makes any sense, and he cares more about the entirety of what Eli’s trying to say rather than just the spoken part. And Eli definitely communicates he’s genuinely remorseful through his actions as well--saving Demetri from the Cobras, teaming up with Demetri afterwards to help Deme’s side win the fight, straight up openly BETRAYING Kreese and Cobra Kai AT GREAT PERSONAL RISK TO HIMSELF (especially if Tory’s threat is anything to go by!!!) in order to go back to Demetri. Honestly, given everything he knows about Eli and how he operates, expresses himself, and communicates, I highly doubt Demetri expects at all for Eli to go on a long, detailed rant about how sorry he is and is honestly just grateful to have Eli back in his life.

~I think at the beginning of the show, Demetri puts a lot of work into helping Eli feel as safe and secure as possible--possibly in part because Eli’s autism makes him feel kinda isolated as a “freak” or “outcast” or what have you. Demetri makes an effort to crack jokes and make Eli laugh when no one else will, possibly to help Eli feel more relaxed and at ease. And Demetri’s reluctance to try out karate could be a kind of misguided overprotectiveness on his part--he’s spent a lot of time building up their own little world for them where he can keep Eli relatively comfortable, and he’s worried anything that interferes with that or shakes up the status quo is going to stress out or overwhelm Eli too much. Demetri wants to keep things as they are, because even if it’s not perfect, and they still get bullied on the regular, at least he KNOWS how best to help Eli and help him feel better (or at least he thinks he does) in their current situation (i.e. “I think we’d rather spend our afternoons playing Crucible Control than getting hit in the face”). If they were put into a drastically different new situation, he WOULDN’T know how he should best assist and support Eli with it, and that scares him a lot--because he’s ALWAYS kind of intuitively known how to help Eli, and the thought of anything changing that makes him terrified that without him, Eli is going to get really hurt somehow.

I think that just about covers everything--might add more stuff if I think of it! Definitely go check out @jackonthelongwalk’s blog for more quality, in-depth autistic Eli content!!!

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piningfor-pinestwins · 3 years

Text

Natural Attraction - Bruised Egos (Stan X Reader Slow Burn; Eventual Not SFW)

Your group makes it partway through the dense forest before you lose daylight, grateful for the four flashlights that Fiddleford had stowed away for this. You’re stepping unsteadily in the midst of thorny brushes and thick vines, grateful for your sturdy boots as you step on less-than-solid ground and sink into some mud. Grunting with effort as you make your way up the slippery hill, you hear Ford swear from behind you as he does the same.

“Where do you think the thing would even be at night? What kinda birds are active in the dark?” Stan’s voice comes from behind you a little loudly, leaning heavily on a stick he’d found somewhere during the trek, using it to support his weight as he goes. Ford’s head whips around to find his brother’s form in the dark, giving a harsh “Shh!” as he continues onward. Stan murmurs a quick, “Sheesh, just askin’,” as he continues onward. You follow Fiddleford’s steady light from ahead of you, trusting the man as he continues his walk, and turn to quietly answer the man anyway.

Owls, mostly. I think you have nighthawks in this part of the country, too, You inform him, shivering. You nearly run your nose into Fidd’s back, finding the lanky man had come to a stop ahead of you to hold up a branch for you, after apparently being hit in the face with it. Taking it in hand, you murmur a thank you, pointing your flashlight to the ground for the twins behind you to duck under the thing when they get closer.

Ford ducks easily beneath the thing, murmuring a thanks to you as he does. Stan isn’t far behind, though the man nearly stabs into your foot with his makeshift walking stick. “Sorry, hon,” he quickly apologizes, lifting the thing out of the soft dirt by the toe of your boot. You smile fondly despite yourself, motioning him ahead with the beam coming from your flashlight.

Get moving, slowpoke. I don’t want you to get lost behind the pack, you tease in a whisper. He catches your smile despite the dim light of the moon and chuckles himself, shifting his walking stick beneath his arm, and flashlight into the other hand. His fingers land at your elbow as he tugs you along, the warmth of the digits seeping through the teeny-tiny holes of your sweater.

“Yeah, you neither. With your luck, our superbird’ll think you’re some sorta prey.” Stan’s voice is playful, and this close you’re able to make out the features of his smile despite the darkness surrounding you. You chuckle, walking beside him with your twin flashlights and his hold leading the way. Me? What about you? You argue back, You’re the one with more meat on your bones.

He snorts at that (only to be shushed by his brother once more), careful to watch his step and not be too loud again as he moves alongside you. “What, me? Honey, I’m all muscle--the thing wouldn’t want something as chewy as me.” You laugh louder then, shaking your head, only to have the light of Ford’s flashlight pointed at you. You can make out his frown and--jeez, what is he, your older brother? Sheepishly, you give him a little wave, biting into your bottom lip.

When his light goes away from your face, Stan snickers, having found getting you in trouble amusing. You move to elbow him despite his hold on your arm, and he chuckles as he jostles you in response.

Still giggling, you take one step in the wrong direction, yelling out in fear as your heel slides the wrong way against the soft ground. The joint twists as your weight starts to fall backward, and you drop your flashlight, the sharp pain in your ankle now an afterthought to the fear of a fall down to an unseen point below.

Ford and Fiddleford turn at your cry, but Stan’s already there, the hand at your elbow quickly landing at your forearm instead. In one swift movement, he tugs you to his chest, grunting quietly at the impact of your face against his sternum, budging half a step backward with his own force.

“Fuck--are you alright?!” Stan asks breathlessly, looking down at you with worry as he pushes hair from your face. You pant as you wince, your weight coming back to your twisted ankle. Heart beating in your ears, you don’t hear him very well. Looking up at him wide-eyed, his worry only deepens. “Hon, you okay?” He repeats, and enough of your brain is back to you that you’re able to nod in response, shifting your weight against him to ease off your hurt ankle.

Stan says something to the duo coming closer, but you miss the bulk of it as you try to slow your breathing, glancing back to where you would have landed--and, as it turns out, where your flashlight has landed. The plastic thing lies muddied and flickering, left useless on some rocks nearly ten feet below. Shivering from the cool wind that blows through, and from the realization of just how lucky you’d been with Stan’s touch, you clutch a little tighter to the leather arm of the man’s jacket.

“Alright, that’s it. With me gettin’ my face smacked with a branch, and her nearly dyin’, we’re wrappin’ this walk up for the night. Soon as we get past this line o’trees, we’re hunkering down for the night.” Fiddleford insists, looking to you apologetically. “I’m sorry, I should’a said something about the drop. I saw it, but only just ‘cause my light was pointed just right.”

I-It’s fine, you stammer, ignoring your white-knuckle hold to Stan’s sleeve and shaky knees. Ford huffs a sigh, scrubbing lightly at his face, “I’m glad you’re okay. We’ll...need to make up the majority of our movement during the day, then. It’s safer that way, anyway. God forbid one of us had found that fall while chasing our creature.” Your colleague turns, murmuring something to Fidds as he points toward a clearing past the trees, the both of them pointing their flashlights to make their way.

Stan’s hand lands carefully at your lower back, guiding you as he points his flashlight to the ground. “C’mon, I’ve got you. Take a deep breath, okay?” He murmurs the words quietly, and you feel the warmth of his hand sliding up and down the fabric of your sweater. You do as he says, exhaling a shaky breath. S-Sorry, about all of this, you whisper, taking another breath as you carefully step away from him, wincing at the feeling in your twisted ankle.

To your surprise, however, the hand on your back slides down your arm, catching your wrist with a light, but firm touch. Stanley looks at you uncertainly, and your slowing heart rate decides to uptick once more at the way his cheeks darken in the moonlight. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d like...W-Well, I wouldn’t mind holding onto you until we’re out of these trees. If something happens again, I can...be here. Plus, y-you’re hurt. Can’t risk a fall on a bum ankle.”

You chew into your bottom lip, grateful for the warmth of his hand enveloping your own cold digits. He’s looking to you as if asking permission, a softness in his gaze that you’ve now seen multiple times from the stubborn man, yet you can never quite get enough of. Nodding, you give him what you think he’d been waiting for, and he shifts your hand in his, his thumb and forefinger becoming snug bookends to the knuckles on your own hand.

Clearing his throat, Stan glances over his shoulder to spot the steadily moving lights of his brother and F. Shifting his weight to move toward them, he squeezes your hand to get your attention too (as though your attention wasn’t already on your joined hands).

“C’mon, we shouldn’t get too far from those two. Is your foot good enough to walk on?” Stan’s gaze searches your face for pain, the beam of his flashlight pointed to your boots before you wave his concern away with your free hand. I can walk, just...maybe a little slower than I was, you look at him apologetically and he nods, moving to reflect the change.

Now on your hurt side, Stan switches the flashlight into his other hand, quickly wiping his palm against the thigh of his jeans before he takes your hand once more. He sticks his elbow out just slightly, allowing a makeshift armrest for your forearm as he leads you to take one step, then another.

Being sure to point his flashlight to the ground, he avoids your eye, casting you a quick glance as he pulls you alongside him. You follow along easily, still trying to catch your breath from the excitement of the near-miss and the...current connection. You almost want to thank him, but from the way his eyes stay turned down from yours, he’s definitely both focusing on the ground and not looking at you.

“Easy here, honey. Lean on me while we step over this root,” Stan murmurs, and when you do as you’re told, he easily takes on your weight as you both continue walking. Legs still shaky from adrenaline, you limp at his side as he guides you toward your research partners, further into the trees.

As you step over a log, leaning into his broad shoulders to do so, you take an extra moment to adjust your hand in his by entwining your fingers. He stills the moment you do it, looking at you with an unreadable tint in his moonlit gaze, but he says nothing as you continue walking. Nerves flutter in your belly, wondering if you’ve pushed this too far--maybe this handholding really was only supposed to be out of convenience, or to make sure you aren’t any more of a klutzy nuisance during this trip…

You’re certain that you imagine it when his thumb brushes against the back of your hand. You flush when you feel him do it a second time, more pronounced than the first.

When you look at him from the corner of your eye, his profile is illuminated by the moon. His jaw is set tight, and you can make out the dark flush of his cheeks as he pulls you close once more. He notices you’re distracted, the smallest lift of a smile at the corner of his mouth, but Stan clears his throat to will it away as he murmurs something about watching your step. You hobble your way over another pair of tangled-up roots before you find yourself stepping out from the dense woods, finally finding the small clearing that Fiddleford and Ford are already preparing.

Fidds is working on a makeshift ‘campfire’ for light (made of one of the flashlights pointed at one of the large jugs of water), making the light shift like the bottom of a pool on a sunny summer day. Ford is sitting on his knees, grumbling in frustration as he wrestles with the plastic rods of the portable tent.

Despite the light (which you’re grateful for, don’t get you wrong), you wish it was closer to a real campfire. You’re cold, and the dew on the long grass around your ankles is soaking into your skin, making the chilled breezes even cooler.

“Gimme your tent and I’ll get’cha set up.” Stan mumbles, releasing your hand from his and holding it out to you expectantly. You aren’t focused on his words, looking down at his hand, meeting his eye, and then coming to the realization with a quick, Oh! as you reach to unclip the tent bag from the duffel bag on your shoulder.

He smiles a little as he takes it from you, looking at you with something like amusement in his gaze as he looms over you, just a little. “Are you going to hold up alright while I do this, honey?”

You aren’t sure if it’s the tone of his voice, or his close proximity, or the way his brow quirks as he smiles at you, but heat floods your cheeks as you nod, trying to keep your cool despite your fluster. I-I’ll be just fine, thank you.

The brunet wiggles his brows at you as he turns away, stomping down some taller grass in order to flatten the area he’s planning to prep your tent. You push your hair behind your ear, shaking your head as he drops to his knees to unzip the bag holding the tent.

Damn him. Sincerely, honestly, damn him. You’d come here to work, to focus on the astounding artifacts and creatures waiting for you in Gravity Falls. But no, instead you’re enamored by him. You rub at your face, feeling the way your mouth screws up as you try not to think too hard about it...especially when the target of your misplaced focus is just feet away, effortlessly putting together your tent for the night.

You fidget with your hands as you watch him for a moment, one thumb brushing over the palm. If you concentrate hard enough, you think as you look down at your hand, you can forget the lingering warmth of his palm against yours, or the way your fingers entwined into his, or how you’d imagine his touch would feel somewhere other than your hand...

“How’s your foot?” Ford’s voice startles you from where you’d stared off at your palm, and you nearly jolt from the tree you’d been leaning back against. A pair of polydactyl hands catch your elbows before you can lose your balance too much more, pulling you gently to rest more soundly against the bark at your back. The brunet ahead of you quirks a brow with a short chuckle, “Now, was that because of your foot, or because I scared you?

You can’t just sneak up on me! You half-laugh in response, feeling heat in your face. You hadn’t meant to be so distracted, really. Ford smiles a little wider at your words, and you can see that all-too-quiet analyzing gaze pointed your way. Despite the low light, you think he can see your flushed cheeks, and you bring your hands up to cover the warm patches on your face. He nods as if confirming something, cheeky grin only widening, “What has you so distracted, hm?” Ford asks, and you suspect he’s teasing you. The ass.

L-Looking for our mystery monster, obviously. Since the rest of you are so busy, I thought I’d keep lookout, you give one solid nod, feeling the heat only spread beneath your fingers as you lie. Nothing to report yet.

“Well, glad someone worries,” Fiddleford’s voice comes from the direction of where Ford had been not long ago, and you look over the brunet’s shoulder to see the lanky man and Stanley both hard at work to put together the unfinished tent Ford had left in poor shape.

Your tent, however, is perfectly set up and ready for what additions you have to bring into it. Ford sees the two working and gives you a secret sort of smile, offering you an arm to help you toward your shelter. “I do worry,” He argues back, careful to support your weight as you lean against your friend, “But I trust her to be our lookout. Are you saying you don’t?” He winks at you as you make your way across the clearing toward your shelter for the night, and you smile as you turn the teasing toward someone else, for once.

You really should be more upfront with your feelings, Fiddleford. Just be honest, do you trust me? You grin as you ask the playful question, turning to look as the honey-blond man sputters and flusters, “O-O’course I do! I’m not one’a those backwards thinkin’ hillbillies who--who..!”

“Easy, easy!” Stan laughs, reaching to pat the man’s shoulder, “She’s just givin’ you hell, buddy. You’re right though--it’s good to know someone cares, seeing as Ford’s too busy getting handsy with his new assistant.” Stan grins cockily toward both you and his brother, which only makes both of you fluster.

“M-Me?!” Ford sputters a little loudly, and you’d almost laugh if you didn’t know where he was going with this, “I’m not the one who’s asking about how she was in college, or--oof!” He quiets himself with a grunt, and you move to pat his back as though you hadn’t just elbowed him in the ribs.

W-Well, uh, good to know you all respect me, and...enjoy my company, you laugh a little, acting innocent even as Stan catches your eye. He’s very much fighting a laugh, having watched you silence his brother. Ford quirks a brow at you, grumbling as he rubs at a rib with his free hand, “And to think, I came over here to help you to your tent.”

And I thank you, you grin, giving the arm you’re holding onto a little pat as the man rolls his eyes. He’s smiling a little when you make it to your tent, and you take a moment to shift and hand him your duffle bag, thanking him quietly as he ducks alongside you to help you into the tent. You thank him again as he lowers you to the floor of the shelter, finally smiling your way even as he rubs at his side while dropping the duffle bag to you. “Get settled, I’ll see if Fidds’ first aid kit has one of those ammonium chloride ice pack things.”

Thank you, you repeat, fiddling with the zipper of your carryon to open the thing. As the man steps from the unzipped flap of your tent, you call a soft, Sorry for the elbow, which only makes him snort a laugh.

“I didn’t know it was a sore subject, jeez.” He teases over his shoulder.

It’s more of, uh...not a subject at all, you correct with a wave of your hand and a little laugh, quickly turning your attention to getting your folded quilt from the duffle bag. The brunet quirks a brow, but doesn’t say anything as he purses his lips and makes his way from your tent.

You hear the three chatting amongst themselves as you set up your space. It’s definitely darker in the tent than outside of it, but you manage well enough to situate your quilt and pillow in a corner of the tent, patting the blanket down to be sure it lays flat. You pat around in the duffle bag next, searching for your pj pants. When you’ve found them, you make quick work of your boots and pants, wincing as you try to keep standing with your aching ankle.

You hear a quiet swear and the sound of fumbling feet as a flashlight beam shines against the flap of your tent. “Y’decent?” Stan’s voice asks, and you yank more frantically onto your pajama pants to get them up. Y-Yeah, one sec--! You call out, tripping over your own pant leg and falling over with an ungraceful grunt.

“Shit, did you fall again, toots..?” Stan murmurs, taking the liberty to open the flap and make his way in despite the fact that there’s still fabric resting low on your thighs. By some miracle, the flashlight beam points at the back of the tent first, allowing you just enough time to yank the pants up to your hips just as the light points down to where you are on the floor. The light makes you squint up at Stan, your nose wrinkled a little as you give him a little smile. He’s smiling down at you, clearing his throat as he kneels down to meet you.

“Honey, you can’t go tripping in front of me every chance you get.” He teases lightly, putting down the flashlight near you while his gentle hands help you sit back up. You shake your head as you sit up, stretching your legs out in front of you with a bashful smile, I promise, it’s not on purpose.

“So you aren’t fallin’ for me?” Stan asks, his voice low as he searches your face, gaze meeting your own. Despite the playful smile on his face and the quirk of his brow, there’s something that makes your stomach flip. You frown despite your fluster, feeling almost like the butt of a joke. Be nice to me, I almost died, you grumble, pushing lightly against his shoulder. He leans with the push, chuckling as he moves to sit beside you. “I know, I know, I’m sorry. I thought of the joke all the way back there, and...well, I couldn’t let it go.” Stan’s smile goes a little more tender, reaching over to pat your knee gently.

Stan perks up a little as he seems to remember something, patting behind him to find the plastic packet he’d brought in. “I brought you an ice pack for your ankle, if you think it’ll help. I think Fidds has some pain killers too, but you’ve gotta get some food in ya first.” You nod at his words, taking the thing from him and shaking it to activate the chemical reaction inside. I packed some snacks, actually, you look at him then, and his brows quirk as he reaches for the flashlight again to find the goodies.

In my bag, in a little tupperware with a green lid. It’s just peanut butter sandwiches, but food is food, you smile, stretching to put the finally-getting-cooler pack on your foot with a wince.

“Hopefully you packed enough,” he chuckles, tucking the flashlight beneath his chin to hold it as he digs into your duffle bag with both hands, “ ‘specially since I was your savior and all, back there, it’d be an honor for you t’share your dinner with me. So I don’t have to eat whatever F and Ford are inventing out there.” Stan teases with a glance to you and a grin. His hands stop their motion in the duffle bag, and you can see his cheeks darken in the low light of the tent.

You worry even without the confirmation of what he’s seen, sure that...well, something in that bag must have caught his attention. Y-You find the sandwiches? You question, moving slightly to check what’s in his hands before he quickly shuffles them into the duffle bag once more, “Shit--ah...Yeah!” Stan pulls the little plastic container from your bag, eyes widening at the neatly-folded pair of lacy underthings atop the box.

Your face heats as you quickly reach out to snatch the fabric away, crumpling it in hand and shoving it beneath your thigh, effectively sitting on it as you look at him wide-eyed. He fights a smile and loses, the grin on his face accompanied by its endearing dimple, both visible and tugging at your heartstrings even in the low light. “See, that’s what I was tryin’ not to do--sorry, honey,” Stan laughs, now passing the offending tupperware over for you to fidget with as he moves the flashlight to stand upright, pointing the light above the both of you to better light the tent.

Snooper, you scold him for the second time today, but this time it comes out in a mumble as you turn your attention to open the thing, a little smile on your face. You can’t be upset, you know it was an accident, but...well, despite the little embarrassment within you, there’s something else you can’t quite place.

He snorts a laugh, moving his hand up to cover his eyes, crooked smile still wide across his cheeks, “Here. Can’t snoop if I can’t see, happy now?” You glance up at him and smirk, picking up a cut half of the peanut butter sandwich and putting your hand out in his direction, waiting for him to uncover his eyes and take the makeshift meal.

“Y’know I can’t hear your head nodding, right? I need words, babe!” Teasing, Stan peeks at you from between his fingers, amber gaze falling to the sandwich half held out to him. “Oh, thanks--” He uncovers his eyes then, smiling still as he reaches for it and bites in greedily. You almost laugh, If you were so hungry, why didn’t you say anything before?

“‘Cause then one of those two would’ve told me to go hunt or somethin’,” He scoffs between bites, looking at you with humor, “Ford would’a picked me some sort of weird-looking thing to eat and said it’s ‘high in protein, just right for you Stanley’, an’ Fidds probably would’ve invented something for me to kill the thing with, like….I dunno, magic slingshot or somethin’,” Stan murmurs into his sandwich. You snort a laugh as you munch on your own half, kicking him lightly against one of his knees, They help in the best ways they can.

“Oh, sure--every way except actually hunting dinner themselves,” he laughs, moving his foot to nudge your leg back. You laugh too, shaking your head as the both of you eat. You eye him subtly, watching how he leans back against his palm, idly crossing his ankles as he looks around your (his) tent. “Y’know, ‘m glad this thing holds up good. I’d hate to think of you getting stuck with a bum tent, or just a little quilt on the ground, like you wanted,” Stan teases lightly, looking over to you with amusement as you both eat.

You shrug as you finish up, smiling as you wipe lightly at the corners of your mouth, I would have ended up fine, probably, you catch the way his gaze moves with your fingers at your lips, and you quickly glance away to warrant him the blessing of thinking he hadn’t been caught, Else fails, we’d all have just ended up cheek-to-cheek in one tent.

Stan scoffs a laugh, licking a stripe of leftover peanut butter from his thumb and sucking the remainder from the digit casually, releasing it with a quiet pop, “Like we were in the truck? I don’t think our cheeks could handle anymore squishin’ like that.” He glances over to you, catching your gaze as it drifts from his lips. Amber eyes crinkle in the corners when smirks, returning his thumb to his lips once more (you’re sure there’s no more peanut butter, and that he’s just torturing you). “Thanks for the snack, sugar, but I think I’m gonna turn in for th’night. Knowing those two, we’ll be awake way too early, and one of them will bitch all day because no one brought coffee--”

Already a step ahead of you, you grin, pointing toward your duffle bag. He casts a glance over and shakes his head, pointing that crooked smile your way, “Geez, you think of everything, don’tcha?” Stan winks at you as he moves to get up, standing hunched in the not-quite-tall-enough frame of the tent. He looks down at you, and you catch him look over your pajamas, smile giving himself away as he points down to your ankle, “Do you need any more help tonight, or are you alright?”

You shake your head, I think I’ll keep myself in for the rest of the night, thanks. As long as I don’t have to pee at some ungodly time, I’ll be fine. Stan snorts at that, taking the few steps toward the flap of the tent, “Just don’t cry to me if you end up dreaming of waterfalls,” He teases. You wrinkle your nose at the implication, but can’t hold back the laugh as you scold him for being gross, Stanley.

“Sorry, babe! You’re stuck with this gross man this whole trip.” Stan winks over his shoulder at you, grinning wider as he turns to leave, “Actually, reminds me--I should make a pitstop before I hit the boys’ tent for the night.”

Gross! You insist with a laugh, hearing him join in with a chuckle of his own. If you had a shoe nearby, you’d throw it at him. Goodnight, Stan. I’ll see you in the morning.

“See you then, babe. G’night.” He smiles in your direction, a genuine tenderness in his gaze as he ducks out from your tent. You shuffle your way to the flap to zip it closed, hearing the trio of boys giving each other hell as Stan returns to their shared sleeping space, but not being able to pick out individual words to hear what hell is being given.

Not that you mind, really; you are sleepy. A near-death experience and some….moderately embarrassing flirting will do that to a person. Using the flashlight Stan had left, you make your way to settling into your makeshift bed, remembering something from the general health class you had to take in college and using your duffle bag at the foot of your comforter as a way to raise your ankle. You fold yourself into the quilt easily, settling in for the night with a soft sigh that turns into a yawn on its way out.

Reaching behind your pillow, you pull out your journal, cracking the cover open and holding the flashlight beneath your chin as you write out some accounts of the day (and, when you remember it exists, adding the polaroid of the creature’s tracks over the terribly-drawn version you’d made). When you finish up with your entry for the day, you start to close the journal, instead seeing the pages open up to the one previous-- Stanley’s pages.

You glance to the flap in your tent, almost as if afraid he’d be standing there to catch you. You don’t know why it worries you--especially since you’ve added both a Fiddleford and Stanford page, to keep track of those two as well, but… There’s something akin to indulgence, you think, that stirs in your chest when you make an addition to this page. Today, it’s an addition to the ‘Likes’ list, (peanut butter, which truthfully doesn’t surprise you because the only food listed in the ‘Dislikes’ list is canned Spam), and today’s date with the simple, albeit shaky addition of Stanley caught me from falling into a ravine on our hike today.

Not wanting to go too into detail this late at night for fear of nightmares, you shut up the journal and return it to its place beneath the pillow, setting the flashlight beside the cushion as you turn the thing off. You settle in for real this time, tugging the blanket to your chin and exhaling a soft, slow breath to try and relax yourself into sleep. As your eyes start to drift closed, you have the inkling that you’ve forgotten something--though what it is, you’re unsure. It must not matter much anyway, as you’re pulled easily into the warm darkness of sleep.

It mattered.

A lot, actually.

You swear, Stan was either a medium without knowing it, or some sort of magical asshole who bestowed curses on you without you noticing. You’re swearing at him under your breath the whole way as you hobble into the woods to find a suitable spot to pee.

Much more relieved, you’re now making your way back to your tent, flashlight held tightly in one hand, a roll of toilet paper tucked beneath your arm, and your other hand outstretched to help you make your way through the trees and back toward the campgrounds. You shudder at the cool breeze that’s blown in, indicative of the upcoming cold front you’d overheard about on the television a night or two back. Finally seeing the campsite coming into view, you sigh, knowing you probably went further out into the greenery than you needed to, but….

Well, god forbid any of your research partners find you with your pants down.

Making your way closer to the campsite, you sigh, rubbing at your face sleepily. To say it had been a long day was a gross understatement; you were exhausted.

Which is why you worried that you were still in your tent dreaming, as you hear the fluttery sound of air moving somewhere near you. You look up just as quickly as you heard the noise, pointing the flashlight up to see better in the dim night light.

There’s nothing..?

Despite your rising nerves, you keep moving ahead, maybe a little quicker now as you point the flashlight to the campsite. You’re more aware of the life in Gravity Falls now; you know of the gnomes, the eyebats, the creatures who move in the dead of night who are, you think, moving with you even now. The familiar prickling feeling of being watched begins to scratch at the back of your neck, but when you glance behind your shoulder, only the darkness of the woods greets you.

A fluttering again, this time directly above you. You’re almost more hopeful than certain that you’re just hearing things, and instead of pointing the light to the sound, you motion toward your goal as best as you’re able to. You limp quickly, hearing the sound once more--closer, maybe just past your ear? You yelp in fear as your battered ankle gives way, falling into the plush grass mere feet from where you’re supposed to be sleeping. Pointing the flashlight up, you try to catch a glimpse of the thing that’s been chasing you, hoping to at least see the thing before it gets you.

Stan’s voice saying your name makes you jump from where you’re lying on the ground, whipping around to point the flashlight beam at him. He winces, blocking the light from his eyes as he moves closer to you. He must have been at least somewhat asleep, only in loose sweatpants, his hair mussed as it falls into his face. “Honey, what happened?” He asks, hurrying with his arms outstretched down to you. You’re trembling, but you hadn’t noticed, clutching close to the flashlight as you shake your head, Something was after me--i-it flies. I don’t know, you stammer, unable to get out one set sentence as his arms wrap around you. Stan lifts you easily, holding you to his chest as he looks up, trying to find the flying thing despite the dark.

“What’s going on--oh shit!” Ford’s voice calls, eyes following Stan’s gaze up just as your flashlight beam lands at the topmost branch of a tree. You feel the chest against you puff up, feeling Stan’s arms bracing around you as you hold your breath, too, looking up to try and find the source of the fluttering against your ears.

You spy the yellow eyes first, following them down to the large, feathery body of probably the biggest owl you’ve ever seen. Fuck, you whisper, all at once feeling foolish at the realization that it’s just… a common creature. Tears prick in your eyes, embarrassment and exhaustion melding into the response before you can stop yourself.

“Jesus, that damn thing--I thought I heard hootin’ somewhere in the woods, but...I dunno, I thought it’d be smaller,” Stan says, still holding you as he makes his way up the rest of the little hill that the campsite is situated on. “Even as big as this specimen may be, I don’t think it’s our offending creature at the Shack. Do you?” Ford’s voice asks you, and you shake your head, avoiding his gaze.

N-No, not at all. The tracks may be similar, but the ones back home are much bigger, you confirm, pointing the flashlight back down to watch the grass ahead. You realize that you haven’t put any weight back down onto your bad ankle, feeling the gentle brush of Stanley’s chest hair against your arm as he continues to hold you. You fight the urge to push out of his arms, especially when you feel your bottom lip wobble in protest to you trying not to cry.

You feel Stan shift his arms, the clearing of his throat echoing in his chest as he turns to face Ford. They seem to have some unspoken conversation about you while you’re pretending to ignore it altogether, and instead of listening, you hear the tree leaves rustle heavily overhead. The owl must have taken off.

“You poor dear,” Ford says, coming closer to where Stan stands with you in his arms. You’re not looking at either of them, waving Ford off with a little huff, I’m okay, it just scared me. I just need to crawl back into bed, today has b-been awful.

You bite into your trembling bottom lip, willing it still between your teeth as you give Stan a pat on his arm, signaling that you’d like to be put down. The brunet seems to understand, but hesitates, instead only slightly relaxing his grip of you. “Let’s get you back to your tent, then. You need the rest.” He soothes, taking a few steps in that direction. You give in, letting yourself be carried as you glance to see Ford (and now Fidds, who’d woken up sometime in the commotion) ducking into his own tent, rubbing at sleepy eyes and yawning all the same.

You don’t have to carry me, but thank you, you mumble quietly, stifling a sniffle as you rub your nose with the back of your hand. He shrugs, the motion shifting you as he pushes open the flaps of your tent, “No skin off my back, babe. Jus’ can’t risk you falling again. If you bust your head open, then I’ll only have these two assholes to deal with again, and I can’t let that happen.” Stan jokes, and despite your exhaustion it makes you smile, even if only a little bit. Still, the hot sting of tears wins out, and you’re only just able to wipe at your eye when the first one falls, just as Stan steps into the little tent with you. You feel him shift again to set you down, but he stops at the sound of a sniffle. “Hon, you alright?” He asks, and you can now hear the gravel that comes with sleep in his voice. You swear, you’ve never heard him be this tender, but it still sounds so familiar all the same.

Y-Yeah, you say, voice shakier than you want it to be, I just feel, uh...dumb, you laugh a little, and he frowns down at you, tilting his head to get a better look at you. You turn your head down slightly, still trying to hide under his attention, Thanks again for helping me. Again. The full situation washes over you in a wave, and you flush with your tears at the realization that he’s holding you to his chest--which would be embarrassing on its own, maybe, but he’s shirtless and you’re crying and, really, this isn’t a good look for you--

“Honey, y’gotta get outta that head sometimes,” He scolds gently, and you look up at him in confused surprise at his words. That almost makes him laugh, a little smile quirking at his lips as he guides you to your feet. “Careful,” He whispers, hands on your waist to keep you from putting too much weight on your bum ankle as you lower yourself to sit on your knees atop the blanket. You glance down, remembering the roll of toilet paper firmly tucked beneath your arm, and you toss the thing to the duffle bag, watching as it bounces off, and then lands haphazardly next to the thing.

“You had an iron grip on that thing, didn’t ya?” Stan asks, and you sniffle as you smile, After losing the flashlight the first time, I had to be sure to hold on tight.

It’s his turn to look at you with surprise, his little smile growing more genuine as he sits in the middle of the tent. He’s closer than he was when you ate together, but he isn’t imposing. He’s just...here. And that’s nice, you think.

“I’m not really the killjoy of this group, but you really should’ve said something before you left, toots. What if I wasn’t up, and you had to fight that thing all your own?” He asks, sleepy voice surprisingly a little stern. You glance over to him as you reach for your pillow, fluffing it idly before wiping a stray tear at your cheek. It’s your fault I had to go out, anyway, you argue lightly, sure his brow is quirked as soon as you say it, You’re the one who mentioned waterfalls.

“Aw, sorry, but you should know by now that I’m right about a lott’a things. It’s annoying as hell, I hear.” It is, you laugh with him, finally glancing up to meet his eye. You feel a little pitiful; foot and ego injured as you watch the kind man who both helped and hurt that cause.

Stan has this unreadable look in his eye, one you’re sure you’ve seen before, but it worries you all the same each time it happens. You glance down at your hands to avoid the shift in his gaze, but find yourself looking up again when he says your name like a quiet question, his brow furrowed at you with a tilt of his head.

“Are you doin’ okay? Today’s been...hell and a half for you, and I know you had t’be scared to death.” He reaches out, palm lying flat on the edge of the quilt beneath you, and though he leans to go with it, he doesn’t make any further move to touch you. You rub at your face with a sigh, pushing hair from your face as you start to nod.

I mean, the day wasn’t all bad, but...nearly falling however-many-feet down, and then being stalked by an owl weren’t the most fun parts, either, you admit, feeling the way your voice wavers when you do so. You shrug, smiling a little when you look at him now, and you try to ignore the way your heart pulls at his worried face, you do, but...with those amber eyes looking at you with such tender concern, you have to admit that it absolutely pulls, tugs, and twists at your heart. Damn him.

“I’d offer to take you back home, but I don’t think you’d like that. Plus, those two would get lost without you.” The brunet is careful in his word choice, something you appreciate. You reach to comfort him in the same way, reaching your hand out to lay atop his with a little rub of your thumb across the back of his hand, and his face softens a little when you reply, Absolutely they would, they don’t even know what kind of critter they’re going to face. Truthfully, neither did you, but you had theories. Though...somehow, you think, this isn’t the time to bring them up.

You can feel the energy between you shift before you see it, his palm turning upward to meet your own. The warmth of his fingers glides against your hand, fingertips curling just under yours to cup your hand with his own. He’s watching down at your joined hands, thumb brushing lightly against your four knuckles when he speaks again. “Are you, uhm...unhappy, that I keep trying to help you?” Stanley’s voice is soft as he asks the question, and you almost need him to repeat himself with the way your heart is hammering in your ears. When you don’t answer immediately, he continues, “I-I know that you’re strong. You’re very smart--well, no shit you’re smart, you’ve done all this for gods’ sakes--anyway,” He breathes, and you swear there’s a deeper color to his cheeks even in the dark here.

“I like helpin’ you. I’m not nearly as smart as you ‘n Fidds and Sixer, but I gotta be useful somehow. And you’re just, uh...easier to help, than the other two. You’re marginally less annoying, and...prettier, too.” Stan glances up then, his gaze searching through yours with an air of desperation. You can tell, there’s maybe more to be said, but his adam’s apple gives a decisive bob when he closes his mouth into a thin line. Whatever else there is to be said, it isn’t for tonight.

I don’t mind, you finally say, looking down at the way your fingers have folded nicely over his own. Your heart thuds against your chest, so loud in your own ears that you’re afraid you might shout these next words. You take extra care, then, to whisper them. I...may not like being helped, or I may get embarrassed or frustrated and run off sometimes, but...I do like you. And I don’t mind when you’re the one helping me.

You turn your wrist at an almost-uncomfortable angle to put the back of his hand upright without breaking his hold of your fingers, leaning forward just so to press a little peck to the back of his hand. Turning your hands back the right way, you look up to him, almost afraid of what his reaction may be. What if he laughs at you? Or finds you stupid, to think you could resist his charm? What if he stands now and leaves into the darkness of the wood to leave you alone and embarrassed and in need to explain the situation to your colleagues?

“Hey,” he whispers, and you realize that you’re so afraid of the what-ifs that you’ve almost missed his reaction entirely, though that’s the whole reason you looked. Stan’s face is certainly flushed, vibrant eyes forgoing their sleepiness as he looks at you with such entranced sincerity. For a moment, you think he’s forgotten what he wanted to say, but he interrupts that thought with a firm tug at your arm. Before you know it, you’re pulled off-kilter, leaning toward him, then closer, before you reach to catch yourself with your other palm against his chest.

His lips land on yours then, the gentle scratch of stubble against your face as you lean into him. This close, with your hand on his chest, you can feel the way his pulse mimics yours. You have half the mind to tease him, but the idea stutters out when the palm of his free hand slides up to cup your jaw. Stan holds you there as you kiss him, tasting just slightly of peanut butter and feeling so warm, your noses bumping together gently before he pulls back for a breath. You open your eyes to find him already looking at you, his gaze still sliding up from where he’d been looking at your mouth.

“Y-You’ve gotta get some rest, sweetheart,” He whispers, the newest petname settling itself very terrifically into the space carved into your heart by the last one, “We both should, uh...sleep.” You feel yourself nod, though you still lean into his touch against your face until he pulls it away. Stan bites into his bottom lip, clearing his throat as he pats your hand on his chest, and for once, you realize, the jokester is near speechless.

Moving your hand away from his body, he pulls your joined hands close to his face, pressing one last kiss there before his fingers release your own. Watching as he stands, Stanley pushes his hair from his face, rubbing gingerly at the back of his neck as he turns away from you and toward the exit. He stands there a moment, almost like he’s forgotten what he’d gotten up for in the first place. Though you aren’t exactly itching to kick him out, you smile as you give him the reminder.

Goodnight, Stanley, you whisper, and your heart does turns when he looks at you from over his shoulder. He’s brushing his fingertips against his lip subconsciously, the movement stalling when he meets your gaze. His dimple reappears for an instant, his smile at you wide and inviting.

“Goodnight, sweetheart. I’ll see ya, first thing in the morning.”

I’ll see you then, loverboy, you tease, giving him your first pet name. It doesn’t go unnoticed (for as not-smart as he claims he is, nothing goes unnoticed with this man), and he looks absolutely giddy when he leaves out the front flap of your tent. You think that you hear him trip and swear to himself, but he doesn’t return. The boys in the tent next door begin to murmur, and you suppose he’s found his way back in there when you hear his tell-tale laugh amongst the other voices.

You touch your own lips, reminding yourself of the feeling of his own there, and your heart goes racing again. You huff a little laugh of your own, shaking your head, and realizing you haven’t stopped smiling since that man left your tent. You settle into your quilt again, still exhausted, but much less tired than the last time you’d been here. Reaching under your pillow, you find your hardback journal once again, turning easily to the pages about Stanley once more. In one swift curl of cursive, you make an addition, just under your large declaration of Stan’s name at the top of the page.

AKA: Loverboy.

#nic's fics #stan pines x reader #grunkle stan x reader #gravity falls x reader #stanley pines #[mr. mystery]#last update of the day! expect one more post announcing some stuff!

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Things I noticed when I re watched Birds of prey last night

Hi all, I watched BOP for the second time last night and I wanted to write down some of the things I noticed as I had seen @wordsoflittlewisdom , Idea credit goes to them on this one. I’m aware that some of these things are not exactly new discoveries and were blatantly obvious to others, but I have ADHD and a processing delay meaning that I don't always take in all the information the first time I watch a film. For example, I had no idea Renee was gay for ages, even though they tell us she had an ex girlfriend (I think I was too busy fan Girling that Ali Wong was in the film then though to hear that bit). I have to focus more on the overall plot when I watch things the first time, but the second time I was able to scan for little details and take in more things. Without further ado, here’s what I noticed.

“Do you know what a harlequin is? A harlequin's role is to serve. It's nothing without a master. No one gives two shits who we are, beyond that.”

-When Harley is talking about Harlequinns serving their master, she is not just talking about her relationship with the Joker, but about Canary letting Roman be her master. She is saying that she felt like she was nothing without the Joker. She is also implying that Dinah feels the same about Roman, and that she shouldn't because he doesn’t actually care about her like the Joker didn’t care about her.

-THATS WHY SHE ONLY HAS ONE SHOE IN THE CHASE SCENE!!!!! SHE USED IT TO PIN DOWN THE ACCELERATOR IN THE TRUCKKKKKK!!! MYSETERY SOLVED!! ... though.. she didn’t change her shoes to a full set between then and the police chase the next day/ later on the same day. Meaning she didn't go home after that...so did she just like wander around Gotham after committing a huge crime obviously tide to her XD of course she did, she’s Harley Fucking Quinn! Either that or she passed out somewhere from being very very drunk, hopefully her apartment and not just a street or something.

-BONUS: fanfic idea: DRUNK HARLEY HAS A FUNERAL FOR HER SHOE THAT GOT BLOWN UP IN THE ACE CHEMICALS EXPLSION, WITH BRUCE AND THE BEAVER. after she leaves the crime scene. That just seems like a thing drunk Harley would do, as I imagine she loved those shoes as they were awesome..so were her sequin socks.

-The first time I watched it I didn't realise that the fireworks weren’t actually there - because that was all in Harley's head and the film is from her pov - even though we are showed that when the police arrive there are none and it's just a regular explosion. Not until I was told this was the case and realised we were literally shown this later on.

-She goes from being a Harlequinn to Harley Quinn as she becomes emancipated.

-Roman just lets Zsas grab his arms and restrain him when he’s mad, switch energy much.....also they are defo gay for each other. Zsas was acting like a jealous boyfriend when he gave Dinah even an ounce of attention. He legit told her to come back later when he just started massaging Roman’s shoulders. Roman let's Zsas rub his shoulders and comfort him, Zsas wants to protect Roman...need I go on.

- Cass’ parents are yelling about how they don't want her if you listen to what they are saying, so they’re not just fighting, they’re fighting because they wish they never adopted her. She can hear them saying all this too. This made me feel even more sad for Cass than when I thought her parents were toxic to each other in my first watch through.

- (Trigger warning: mention of domestic abuse and child abuse)

Cass’ parents didn't want her and seemed to be very hostile, its not mentioned how Cass got her cast...but I realised that it could suggest that her parents broke her arm. Which would go on to suggest that they were abusing her physically as well as emotionally. Hence why she didn’t trust people, and was so hurt when Harley betrayed her. Because when she says that she though Harley was different, she meant that she thought she could trust Harley and that Harley wouldn’t hurt her.

-Margot’s real accent comes through when she tells Canary ‘I haven't told that to anyone’ when telling her she Broke up with Joker, as well as a few other times throughout the film.

-Cassandra is quiet and not talkative in her first scene because her throat was hurting because of the diamond. That's why she coughed to try and clear it . At that point in the film we hadn’t been shown that part but it was set after it happened so it makes sense when you re watch it.

-Cassandra’s jacket has a little middle finger logo on it, which I thought really suited her character.

- Cass has ‘asshole’ written on her cast, a drawing of a gun the word ‘fuck’, the word ‘magic’ - which is probably a reference at how she does some stuff that is similar to closeup magic and uses the same magicians technique of the art of misdirection - she also has what appears to be two playing cards, one with hearts and one with diamonds. Which is most probably a reference to Harley Quinn’s whole hearts and diamonds thing she has going. Didn’t comic book Harley also have a link to those specific playing cards too? or something like that?

EDIT: THEY ARE PLAYING CARDS!! I GOT A BETTER LOOK AT THE CAST IN THE COSTUMES VIDEO.

- TW: mentions of abuse and child abuse and trauma

The whole diamonds are a girls best friend is Harley going somewhere else mentally to cope with the trauma of being abused - we see her being spanked by a nun when was younger suggesting she was abused then too, and I think it is a part of her comic book story that she was but I don't know for sure - when it flashes and Guns appear that's reality trying to seep in. She's trying to focus on the diamond and block everything else out

-I spotted what looks like a mini mallet on the wall in her kitchen that could potentially be a meat tenderiser, and if that is the case then that is a fantabulous little Easter egg type thingy. The handle looks too long to be a pot, it has a diamond pattern on it and it is next to another tool for preparing meat...so now I'm just waiting on Margot Robbie,Cathy Yan or Ella Jay Basco to Reply to my tweet and confirm it.

-Helena speaking Chinese makes me laugh for some reason, I think its her facial expression.

- Kid Helena’s crayons when she's drawing the revenge pic are all perfectly spaced and placed like her stuff in her bathroom scene. Further evidence of her perfectionism/ her liking things a specific way.

- The towel in Helena’s hotel room on the bed (seen in mirror reflection) is in the shape of a little person.

- Canary sheds a tear when Roman harasses the lady on the table, I didn't notice that before because I looked away as the scene made me really uneasy.

- Harley screws the cap on the nail polish before putting it down even though there's someone at the door after them. This made me laugh because she thinks the police is after her but still takes time to do this, which is such a Harley thing. Like when she bent down to pick up the penny when that guy was gonna kill her.

- Roman has a shirt with his face printed on it.They did a good job of using the costumes and sets to show his egomaniacal trait.

- The look of acceptance of Harley's face when she realises that no one cares about, after the last person she thought cared about her (Doc) betrayed her, is heart-breaking.

-How was Renee not injured from getting launched out the window? Even if she didn't fall all the way to the ground and landed on the top of the entrance bit, she’d still be injured.

-WHERE DOES HUNTRESSS STORE ALLL THOSE ARROWWWSSSSS????? SHE FIRED SO MMAANNNNYYY! I DIDN’T SEE A QUIIIIVVVER OR ANYTHING. I guess she just stores them in sub space along with her hammer¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-Also I think I figured out what the chain is for, at first I thought it was for the crossbow to attach to. Then I though not as she leaves the crossbow on the floor by itself in the funhouse fight scene, but then I think I saw it attached to it..so I think she can just disconnect it when need be. Plus it just looks cool.

-Alllssoo, she toooottallly checked out Dinah! HELENA IS DEFO GAYYYY! she has big useless lesbian vibes. They really knew who their target audience was when they made Helena look so stunning and badass. The producers really said ‘hello LGBTQ+ community’ (hopefully y’all know that tiktok audio or that wont make much sense) Also, if you don't believe me, I have a gif of her doing it on my blog. So there’s no denying it.

-Why were the lights on in the funhouse if it was abandoned?? Maybe its just more Harley vision? but the carousel was rotating too...

Anyway that's everything I noticed, thanks for reading if you made it this far, and even if you didn’t...you wont see this then but still. Thank y’all .

#harley quinn #birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn #birds of gay #birds of prey #dc #movie #dinah lance #huntress #black canary #renee montoya #dinah x helena #cassandra cain #victor zsaz #roman sionis

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tallstars-rewrite · 3 years

Text

Chapter 37

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The park was bigger than Talltail thought it would be. It didn’t quite reach the woods that touched ShadowClan and ThunderClan’s territories, but there were still plenty of trees for cats to hide in. They spent the better part of the day looking and then the next day wandering a bit more, pausing to hunt squirrels when they could. Talltail taught Jake everything he knew about stalking, though they both had a bit of clumsy learning to do as Talltail was out of his element with forest prey like this that had a tendency to escape up trees. They worked out a sort of routine where Jake would creep up and scare a squirrel towards Talltail who would chase it down.

They even came across a decent sized still body of water that Talltail assumed must have been the “duck pond”, complete with several mallard ducks floating lazily across the surface. But still, no trace of familiar scents. Yet despite this, Talltail found to his surprise when they were lounging in the sun that he felt much lighter than he had in moons. Enough that even when he remembered that he’d specifically told Jake they would part ways after arriving at the park, he didn’t do anything to remind his companion of that. Jake did not bring it up either, so they continued on together. Talltail struggled finding the motivation to send the friendly tom back to his housefolk, as he knew he should. Yet, a small part of him began to think...if they couldn’t find any trace of Sparrow here, then there wasn’t any other lead to go on. Suppose he never could find him at all. Maybe, if there was no other choice, he could just stay here with Jake?

But that quiet thought was short-lived. Lounging in the sunset as they took a break, Talltail closed his eyes in a patch of golden fading light. When the sun sank lower, the coolness of the earth seeped into his fur and his mind dropped him into the dark, suddenly feeling as if he were falling. Then once again he was pinned flat under a slab of earth. Something was standing above him. His head was low to the ground, he saw only old, deteriorated paws. His monster was back. He was too afraid to look up into its face. Talltail closed his eyes and waited to feel a hare's blunt edged teeth.

His eyes flew open and he kicked out hard as he scrambled up right with a frightened yowl and caught Jake hard in the side, who yowled back in surprise.

“Ow--! Talltail!? What’s wrong?” Jake's fur was puffed out but he recovered quickly, trying to offer a comforting purr while Talltail shook the vision clear from his head. He was still in one piece. But he was left in a dark mood.

“I’m fine. Sorry. Just a bad dream.” He got up quickly, catching Jake by surprise in his haste. The fear reminded him of what he’d been hiding from. Who do you think you are, stalling like this? You’re doing it on purpose. He hissed at himself. You didn’t come this far just to start a cozy new selfish life for yourself after everything that’s happened.

“We’ve rested long enough,” he turned to Jake. “I need to start looking again. We haven’t fully sniffed out the far side of the pond, maybe there’s some trace over there.”

“Oh, yeah.” Jake shook his fur and yawned. “Sometimes I almost forget you're on some kind of vengeance mission.”

“If you want to call it that, sure,” Talltail replied stiffly. “Which is why I should be resting as little as possible.”

“Can’t we hunt some birds first? Or just watch them? There’s a whole flock in that oak over there.” Jake offered.

Talltail turned to stare at him. “We didn’t come here to look at birds, what are you talking about?”

“I-I just think birds are neat! There’s always time for vengeance later, right?”

Talltail narrowed his eyes at his companion, who blinked back at him innocently.

“Every day lost could be them getting further away. We hunted earlier, you’ll survive. We have to look for scents.”

Jake flattened his ears, “Alright, alright. Looking for scents. I’m coming.”

***

“I think I found something,” Talltail's muzzle was to the ground, nosing around a wet patch of reeds along the pond's muddy edge.

Jake padded up behind him and brushed against his side. “Who is it?”

Talltail pushed through the reed stalks and poked his head under a hollowed out bush hanging over the water. At its base where the soil was more dry were scraps of fur and flattened grass where cats may have been nesting before.

“I think I smell Algernon and Bess. Maybe Mole?” Talltail found it hard to recall their exact scents, as they were always tangled together.

“What about Sparrow?” Jake asked

“I don’t...think so.” Talltail grumbled.

Suddenly there was a rustle and a scrambling sound as something shot out of the nearby bushes. Talltail let his instincts take over and he leapt after the noise, jumping right over Jake as he caught sight of dark scraggly fur. For half a heartbeat, he thought it was Sparrow.

A cat yelped in surprise as he slammed into them and set them rolling. It was not Sparrow, but Talltail recognized the face of one of the scrawny alley cats. The stray landed on his side and raised an unsheathed paw to block his face as Talltail towered over him.

“W-wait! I’m alone, I'm not-- er--no, I shouldn’t have said that,” he stuttered. “I mean, you’re surrounded so you better not hit me again!”

“Oh shut up already!” Talltail snapped. “What is the problem with you cats? I don’t have time to deal with you!”

“Oh, it’s just Roach,” Jake sounded unconcerned. “He’s not a threat by himself.”

“L-look, I’m sorry we tried to kill you, okay? That was rude.” Roach stared up at them pathetically, but with a flash of defiance in his muddy-yellow eyes. “But only because you clan brats tried to do the same!”

“I’m going to say this one more time, so try listening,” Talltail growled. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, there are multiple clans in the forest and if you really have seen clan cats, they aren’t from mine! So sod off, you flea-pelt!”

“Whatever one you're from, you’re all trouble if you're trying to bother the visitors, and they aren’t here anymore anyway!”

Talltail stepped closer. “Did you tell them to leave?”

Roach put up his claws and hissed.

Jake gave Talltail a concerned look as he lashed his tail in agitation. Talltail hesitantly put his claws away, and tried again calmly. “Why are you concerned with the visitors?”

Roach looked away. “Because Bess and them were nice to us...We like having them around, and we said we wouldn’t let cats bully them.”

“I’m not going to bully them, I have no interest in hurting Bess’s family. I only want to talk to the little dark one. He’s not nice at all! I’m just trying to figure out if he was with them.” Roach just glared at him. “I’m not saying anymore! Not spilling anything else, so you’ll just have to kill me! Do it! I’m not scared!” His words were fierce but his trembling fear scent said otherwise. “Sure,” Talltail rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to kill you, don’t be so dramatic. I can follow a scent on my own.”

“Let’s just go then,” Jake said. “We don’t have interest in causing trouble with you or your friends.”

“You only cause trouble!” Roach snarled. “It’s either you or your stinking mutt, that slobbering thing chased me half way here because it doesn’t have the sense to stay on a leash where stupid dogs belong!”

“Wait,” Jake bristled, "Dusty? He chased you? Was he alone?”

“Well he wasn’t tied to anything! Don’t pretend like you didn’t sick him on me on purpose.”

“You know I can’t do that! Oh no, this is terrible!” Jake tore anxiously at the grass under his paws. “He must have dug out of the fence again after I left! He has a terrible sense of direction on his own. He must be so lost and confused! Roach, where--”

But Roach had apparently had enough lying in tension, he sprang up without warning and dashed off into the bushes. Talltail thought about starting after him, sure it would be easy to run the mangy rogue down, but Jake stopped him.

“He won’t be of any help,” he moaned. “I have to find Dusty. He’s out trying to follow me again, and Cris can’t catch him on his own. Talltail I--” he looked up at him with pleading eyes. “I’m so sorry, I know this mission you’re on is important but I have to find where he went. He hasn’t been doing well lately and it’s so much more dangerous for dogs to walk around than it is for us. He can’t hide!”

“Ok,” Talltail was surprised at how easily he responded. The visitors have been warned that someone’s after them and they’re walking away, a voice screamed in his head. But Jake had done so much for him and he looked distraught. How long could it take to find a massive smelly dog? He couldn’t just abandon Jake.

But the nagging voice went on all the same. You are stalling. You don’t even want to complete this mission, because you’re a coward.

I know I am. Talltail relented. But he had to repay Jake after taking up so much of his time. It wasn’t fair to use him and then simply leave while offering nothing back. With that, he continued after Jake as they ran back the way they had come.

***

Jake paced up and down the paths they’d traveled on to get to the park, looking for a trace of Dusty’s scent.

“I’d know it anywhere,” he said firmly. “He was around here! probably trying to find the park…”

Talltail believed it, Dusty’s stench was rather hard to forget. Jake walked at a nervous hurried trot.

“Are you really worried?” Talltail asked. “What animal would try to attack such a big dog?”

“Other dogs, maybe.” Jake said sniffing along the fence “Or a car...He hates them, and sometimes he panics when they come close. He’s gotten out before, but back then he was following me and I stayed with him. I just don’t want him to get completely lost. Especially because he’s been so tired lately, I don’t know how long he can run from anything dangerous!”

Jake really seemed distressed. Talltail tasted the air carefully. Eventually they found it, clear as anything, it smelled like the dog had been pacing around in circles here before heading off along the town edge.

Jake perked up. “It’s recent, if I just follow this, I'm sure he’ll be at the end of it!”

But passed the dog, trailing off into the woods, Talltail caught a different trail as well. His pelt bristled. That’s a fox, I know it is. Dawnstripe had made sure that he memorized every sign of those creatures, and they were perfectly capable of killing a cat that got cornered. He’d only ever seen one at a distance with a Thunderpath between them, and he had no desire to see one closer.

“Jake!” Talltail hissed, “Jake, come over here. Stay close to me.”

Jake looked up quickly at Talltail’s sudden change in tone. “What? What is it?”

A cat's yowl of fear somewhere off in the scraggly treeline interrupted Talltail before he could answer.

“Some cat’s in danger!” Jake gasped. Without a second of hesitation, the kittypet dashed off after the noise, completely abandoning their path.

“Jake!” Talltail called “Don’t go towards it!”

But Jake was already off, and he had no choice but to follow. Just as Talltail feared, the musky doggish stench of fox hit the roof of his mouth so strongly and sudden he nearly gagged on it. Jake dove out of the bushes with Talltail on his heels and there it was, red bushy fur and long pointed muzzle concealing needle sharp teeth glinting under its curled lip. Sharp yellow eyes instantly shot towards the kittypet blundering towards it. Talltail smelled blood and was aware of a small cat crouched not far away, with two others standing near it. The fox had been circling them curiously, trying to decide if it was worth making a dive for the injured prey. But now it’s attention was fully on Jake, who had practically run into the thing.

“Oh, stars--!” Jake gasped, clearly not expecting it to be as close as it was. The fox snapped at him in surprise and Jake just barely managed the wheel back before it could close its jaws on his neck. It grabbed the long fur on his hindquarters and tore a tuft free. Jake tumbled, eyes wide and seemingly with no idea what to do. He scampered back and the fox followed him, darting to the side and looking for somewhere else to bite.

Before it could snap again and get a hold of more than just fur, Talltail yowled and took a heavy swipe at the foxes muzzle, catching it on the nose as it yelped and jumped back. Jake puffed at the fox and growled and swiped as well, but he was clearly terrified and unsure of where to strike. The cats it had cornered puffed their fur and darted at it before leaping back. The fox, apparently liking its odds significantly less with so many cats, quickly turned and scampered away into the woods.

Jake sat up and shook out his fur with a nervous purr. “Well! that was pretty easy.”

Talltail wanted to cuff him on the head as he tried to calm his pounding chest. “Jake you practically ran into its jaws, what were you thinking? If you’d been just a bit slower it could have seriously hurt you!”

“I was thinking it was trying to hurt someone, and they could probably use a distraction? I don’t know, I didn’t think about it that hard!” Jake was clearly more shaken up than he wanted to admit.

Talltail was about to argue further when suddenly he froze as he finally got a look at the two cats who had been blocking the fox from the injured cat. It was unmistakably Algernon and Bess, looking far more frazzled and distressed then Talltail had seen them before. Bess’s light green eyes widened in recognition, and then confusion.

“Tallpaw?” she mewed, “Is...is that you? What in the spirit's name are you doing so far from home?”

“Talltail now,” he corrected, but that was all he could think to say. He was stunned. It couldn’t have been this easy. Had he really found them by accident? I wasn’t expecting it so soon, I thought I’d have time to prepare…. He just stared at the two cats.

“Nevermind that,” Algernon said. “We’re so glad to see you, we heard this cat yowl and saw a fox trying to drag her away, we weren’t sure the two of us were going to be enough to scare it off.” Algernon's paws were still shaking, and Talltail remembered that the tom was clawless. And trying to take on a fox? What, hoping it didn’t call his bluff with useless swipes?

The small injured cat saved him from trying to think of what to say. It wasn’t a cat Tallpaw recognized, but what he did recognize was the toothy grimace, sharp muzzle, and boggy stench. It looked a lot like a ShadowClan apprentice. The small scruffy molly had a bloody bite on her hind leg and she tried to push herself to her paws and dive towards the undergrowth, but she hissed in pain as soon as she put weight on her leg, drawing Bess and Algernon’s immediate attention. “Oh dear, you’re hurt! It’s alright, we only want to help you!” Bess fretted, but the shaking apprentice hissed at her.

“N-no! I don’t need your help, I’m not supposed to--”

Talltail leaped back as another blur of gray fur came charging out of the bushes, her back arched when she landed, pale eyes quickly darting around at the surrounding cats, before they settled on him. Talltail felt a growl in his throat as he recognized the lanky gray molly as Ashheart, one who had tried so hard to terrorize him and Shrewclaw in their apprenticehood. She didn’t keep her gaze on him long as she dashed to the injured apprentice, forcing Bess and Algernon to take a step back.

“Get back, all of you! No one touches her.”

“We saved her, you know!” Jake called out his ears flattened in indignation. “A fox was trying to eat her and very well would have by the time you got here!”

“Jake--” Talltail warned quietly, as Ashheart snarled at him.

Bess dipped her head “We mean you no harm, we truly only wanted to help.”

Ashheart looked sternly down at the apprentice who stared up at her with wide guilty eyes. “You could have been killed, Tanglepaw!” she hissed quietly. “You’re not supposed to come out here alone! Now I have to track down your littermates too!”

Tanglepaw flattened into the ground and Ashheart looked warily up at the cats surrounding her.

“Alright, rogues,” she hissed the word pointedly in his direction, but rather than being angry, Talltail was relieved. It’s better than them thinking WindClan is sending spies beyond our borders.

“I shouldn’t bother doing this but…” She hesitated, not looking away from Talltail. “I don’t know what your game is, deserter, but you’re certainly not safe here. My thanks for this is a warning. Get away from clan ground, because the next patrol that finds you won’t show mercy, especially not to you. If we meet again, the next time will be significantly less pleasant.” With that she nudged the young cat to her paws and, using three legs, the apprentice hopped along with Ashheart into the shade of the trees. “Wait!” Bess called, “we really need to ask you--” but they were already gone.

“Well, that was ominous.” Jake muttered, and he turned to Talltail “Were those...other clan cats?”

“ShadowClan.” Talltail replied stiffly. “They’re up to something they shouldn’t be, I know they are.”

Jake flashed a concerned look to the trees where the cats had vanished and then padded cautiously over to Bess and Algernon. “Are you two alright?”

“Yes,” Bess sighed. “We’re fine, the fox didn’t really have a chance to hurt us. We’re glad you showed up but…” She looked at Talltail, and he saw the hesitance and concern there. “You still haven’t told us what you’re doing all the way out here?”

“I’m not a WindClan cat anymore,” Talltail said quickly, “I’m just a wanderer now, and...um.”

Jake was looking back at him, a narrowed questioning look in his eyes that clearly meant “Alright, now what?”

I have no idea… Talltail thought. Bess and Algernon looked a little on guard. Why wouldn’t they be? Last time I saw them, I was yowling for punishment against one of their companions.

Algernon blinked at him. “So you left? But...why?”

“It’s complicated. And personal,” he replied curtly.

Jake sniffed, clearly a little put off by Talltail’s rudeness.

Algernon glanced at his partner, then Bess took a small step toward him. “Talltail, I understand your view of us may be...tense after the horrible tragedy that occurred. I really can’t tell you how sorry we are for all of it. But...We’re in a bad place. I think those ShadowClan cats have been stalking around us ever since we left, this little one with a bent tail, and others. Always the same bunch. And now Reena, Mole, and Sparrow are all gone!”

Talltail froze. “Wait...What do you mean gone?”

“They’re just...gone.” Bess mewed, her voice was strained and cracked with worry.

Algernon leaned against his mate and continued for her. “Sparrow had been distant for some time, and when he took longer than normal returning to us, Reena and Mole went to look for him. And none of them came back. We’re so worried and we don’t know what to do. Do you think ShadowClan would have kidnapped them? Is that something they do?”

“I don’t know the clans to take prisoners very often, and certainly not non-clan cats. I haven’t seen any of them.” Talltail said. He was trying to think of what to do now himself and he felt frustration clawing at his belly. If not even they knew where Sparrow was, he could be anywhere!

“Maybe they just got lost?” Jake suggested.

Algernon shook his head. “Mole never gets lost. Something must have happened!”

“Whatever it is, we can’t help.” Talltail said brusquely as he turned to pad away. “Come on Jake. None of us should stay here. I don’t know what ShadowClan is doing, but I’m sure they will make good on their threats if they are around here. We’re too close to their border. You two should stay out of their way.”

“What?” Jake stared after him in dismay. “You’re just leaving?”

“What I’m looking for isn’t here."

“Talltail!” Jake sounded angry, and Talltail turned, meeting his gaze defiantly. Jake glared back at him. “These cats haven’t done anything wrong. We have to do something!”

“Do what? I can’t take on ShadowClan anymore than they can. I have to focus on my mission.”

Algernon and Bess were looking helplessly at each other. Jake was still glaring and Talltail was the first to blink away from his gaze. Unfortunately he did have a point. Reena and Mole weren’t bad cats. As angry as he was, there was only one cat it was directed at. And now, he was starting to have an idea that made him even angrier.

“Look, I’ll…” Talltail scraped at the ground in frustration. “I’ll see if I can track their scent. But you guys...You’ll be killed if you're caught in ShadowClan’s path. You’re no good to your family dead.”

“But we can’t just leave them behind!” Algernon fretted.

“Keep an eye out and hope they find their way back to you. I’ll try my best to get to the bottom of whatever's happening. If I’m right, I may be able to find Reena and Mole as well.”

At this point he wanted to get away from the two gentle loners pleading gaze as quickly as possible. He couldn’t actually promise them anything, and lying made his stomach twist in a knot. His heart was pounding. I didn’t want to get involved in clan drama! I don’t want to make promises to Reena’s family. I just want to find Sparrow!

Now more than ever he wanted to find Sparrow. Because his suspicions before that the rogue had something to do with ShadowClan were even stronger. Ashheart clearly didn’t recognize or trust Bess and Algernon. That almost certainly meant Reena wouldn’t have anything to do with the ShadowClan warrior either, he could never imagine that kind molly going behind her parents' backs. But Reena and Mole followed Sparrow, and then they both suddenly vanished? If it was possible Sparrow had even deceived his own family and gotten them tangled up in something dangerous...

The visitors were too naïve to see the evil in cats. A dark thought slowly began to surface in the back of Talltail’s mind. Maybe getting rid of Sparrow for good would even be doing them a favor.

But what about Jake? Talltail's focus had gotten twisted up ever since he’d found his old friend again. He’d gotten distracted, even though he set out on this journey promising himself he wouldn’t. He looked miserably behind him as the bright ginger tom came bounding up. I shouldn’t even have brought Jake this far...How can I take him any further into possible danger?

chapter list / previous / next

#FRU37 #chapter 37

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kckenobi · 4 years

Note

sometimes i hc that obi-wan takes up acting jobs over the years to help fund the jedi or something so that i can imagine that it’s obi-wan acting in ewan mcgregors other movies. Then it’s fun to imagine others reactions like anakin watching his movies and seeing him act. Like oh lord imagine everyone’s reaction to obi wan as roman sionis from birds or prey or christian from moulin rouge. Just another fic idea if you’re bored 😌

Oh my god okay SO it’s actually in the legends books that Obi-Wan is a great actor—

In Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth (and Siege, the sequel), he and Anakin have to go undercover as cousins on some distant planet. And the first time they have to actually get into the act, Obi-Wan is HAMMING IT UP

And enjoying himself like nobody’s business

So much that Anakin actually says:

Any minute he’s going to break into a song-and-dance routine. What is this, stand-up night at the Coruscant Firebird?

Then afterward when he confronts Obi-Wan like “hey dude....wtf???” Obi-Wan’s like “pffft I try. Anyway, this will be fun, shall we go?”

LIKE—you better believe Anakin never let go of this. I don’t have the energy to churn out a whole fic about it right now but I’m just picturing the council debriefing afterward going something like:

Anakin: so then Obi-Wan pretended to cry to win the sympathy of—

Mace Windu: hold on. You can cry on command?

Obi-Wan: ...well, yes I—

Mace: let’s see it.

Obi-Wan: ...see it?

Yoda: wrote in his report, Young Skywalker did, that quite the actor, you are. Like to see this talent, we would. Cry for us, you will.

Obi-Wan: ...

Anakin: ...

Obi-Wan: ...

Flash forward to the founding of the Jedi Temple Company Players, whose production of Moulin Rouge - starring Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi as Christian (and one (1) duchess of Mandalore guest starring as Satine) - is such a huge hit that they have to open admission to the wider Coruscant community. The lines are out the door. Getting a ticket is the equivalent to scoring a seat at Hamilton on Broadway. And Anakin is just like: 😏😏😏😏

“Hey...I discovered him, you know. I liked Obi-Wan Kenobi before he was cool.”

#lollll I’m such a geek for the legends books but theyre so good #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #the clone wars #clone wars gambit stealth #karen miller #asks #kckenobi

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goth-girlfriend · 4 years

Note

love your latest endeavor story!!! please do a part 2 omg

Of course!💙 I’m excited for it myself!

Well, now we have to name it,

Endeavor’s Intern

(2/?)

🖤💙❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️💙🖤

“So much for waiting just for a schedule.” I mumbled and finally relaxed again Endeavor’s chest.

He ignored me, his arms still stretched out working away at papers on his desk. My thights started to hurt form being pressed together between his own, so I didn’t what any rational person would do. I grabbed a hold of his massive biceps and ignoring his protests I pushed myself up and pushed my legs over his thighs and knees. In this new position I leaned back completely against his chest, his chin now resting ontop of my head. I took deep breath and looked around his office, the sky has moved from mid morning to mid afternoon. The clouds were not longer just bright white, they had tints of orange and pink.

‘Hey, hows it going?’ -❄️🔥

‘Oh, you know, it’s going’ -☀️🖤

‘Did you cry? He goes easier when you cry.’ -❄️🔥

‘No..., i didn’t get a smack on the hand though, kinda hurt honestly. 😭 -☀️🖤

‘You’ll Live then, it could’ve gone worse.’ -❄️🔥

‘Yeah, okay. So....how’s it going on your part?’-☀️🖤

“Tell Shoto to get back to work.” Endeavors voice vibrates against my back.

“Tell him what?” I asked wanting feel him speak again.

“To get back to work.” He grumbled and pushed his hips back against his chair to lean foreward slightly.

I followed his actions not really wanting to, but because he was quite literally my chair at the moment.

‘Shoto, you dad says get back to work’ -☀️🖤

‘Tell him get back to work.’- ❄️🔥

“Shoto says for you to get back to work,” I tried to looked over my shoulder.

Endeavor mumbled something and I started to scroll through my phone. I landed on Snapchat, ever since the sports festival and leaking my snapchat my views have gone threw the roof. Apparently people like to see what it’s like to be a hero in training.

I opened the filters and started to play around with some, my favorite being the basic heart crown. I took a few pictures with different filters not posting them due to endeavors chest being visible in the background. I might be a little crazy but I’m not stupid. I wonder if I can get a picture with Endeavor.

“Endeavor Senpai,” I felt him tense behind me.

No response, “Will you take a picture with me?”

He didn’t answer, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

I angled my phone upwards, at the top of the screen his face, at the bottom was from my nose up. We both had heart crown filters. He seemed annoyed, but I took the picture anyway.

“I don’t like this let me try a different one.” I moved and sat across his lap, my butt on one thigh and my legs over the other.

I turned my phone to its side and then got us both in the picture.

“Smile, it’s not like anyone else is going to see this.” I mumbled and smiled.

The edges of his lips tugged up barely, I took it as the best I could and took the picture.

“That’s definitely getting saved.” I saved it twice.

I scrolled through the filters and found a fan made filter, Endeavor or All Might poll. I looked over at Endeavor, he was staring at me hard as I clicked on my answer. Of course it was going to be him, he been my crush for about two years, and I’m literally sitting on him right now.

The filter changed to red heart and fire emoji crown, I smiled at Endeavor and leaned my side against his chest. I wrapped my right arm about his neck and held up a piece sign.

“Come on, now you really have to smile for this one.” The filter picked up on the both of us and I stretched out my left arm to get more of us.

I was gonna cherish these because this might never happen again. He had a faint smile, I smiled wider and tilted my head to the right slightly, he loved his left arm around my hips and his right arm resting on the arm rest. I felt all happy considering I was literally quitting three or four hours ago.

I took the picture and saved it, I showed it to him. He simply made a “hm” noise.

I let out a heavy sigh, “I’m bored.”

“You go on Patrol soon, go get ready.” With that he pushed me off his lap.

Standing up I nodded and grabbed my coffee smelling and slightly now stiff cloak.

“He totally likes me.” I mumbled once I was outside his office.

I walked to the elevator, the secretary of the floor looking at me smirking.

“Did her get rid of you already?” She was smirking.

“Pfft, If i weren’t here for just a week I could replace you faster then you can order his Coffee.” I sassed at her and did the most cliche finger snap.

She rolled her eyes, I smield and turned to walk into the elevator, Todoroki was there.

“So don’t tell anyone but guess what.” I said once the elevator doors were closed.

“What?” Shoto asked crossing his arms across his chest.

“I-“ I stopped and pulled out my phone to show him the picture I took with his dad, the last picture showed I was sitting in lap with his hand on my hip.

“Look.” I showed him the screen grinning like an idiot.

“What.” He looked at the photo eyes wide, “how?” He asked.

“He smacked my hand and then told me to wait for the schedule change, so I went to sit down but pulled me down and basically said he said he told me to wait not to move.”

“I see.” He leaned back against the wall of the elevator, “So should I refer to you as step mom, mom or just by your name like I do now?”

I blushed and looked down, “Shut it Shoto, your dad is still married to your mom so I actually feel bad now.”

I sulked looking down, Shoto sighed and rolled his eyes.

“(Y/n), they were actually divorced not to long after she was admitted to the hospital. It just never made it to the public.” He sighed and looked down.

I felt bad, I moved and hugged him from the side. My arms wrapped around his chest and my chin bent upwards to rest on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Todo,” I whispered.

He turned slightly and hugged me back, “Together we make a whole mess.”

I laughed at him, a smile made its way to his lips.

“Yeah but now it’ll be you and my dad,” he exaggerated a sigh, “So I’ll be all alooonnee,” he exaggerated another sigh, “No friend, no money, nothing. Just alone.”

“You’re such a baby,” I pulled away and so did he.

“Besides I’d totally be a sugar baby and we’d definitely hang out and I’d finally go to universal!” I put my hands on my hips smiling up at Shoto.

“Oh, so your in it for the money.” His left brow quirked.

“No, not really.” I sighed and looked down, “It’s probably not real, people will think I’m crazy and don’t know what love it. I mean after all we’re only 15 , but I think I really like your dad...” I smiled down at my shoes.

The elevator doors finally opened.

“Well,” he sighed, “Good luck.” We stepped out and he walked off with another hero.

“I’ll see you after Patrols.” He called out over his shoulder.

“See you then.” I mumbled.

I sat on a sofa in the waiting room, I wonder who I’m patrolling with today. I hope it’s someone cool, I don’t really know anyone, so I don’t know who’s cool yet. I kicked my feet slightly just waiting for someone to pick me up and take me with them on patrol. About three other pairs left, not one person taking me, or stopping to ask me.

I deflated a bit with every passing person, did Endeavor lie to? Did he just tell me that to get me out of his way?

“Well, day two is coming to an end, no patrols so far.” I logged down on a mini log I had made in my calendar. “Wonder if I’ll get to go home, or will I wait all night for a patrol.”

Just as I closed the app I leaned back in my chair.

“We’re leaving lets go.” I jumped up quickly at the sound of Endeavor’s voice.

“Yes sir.” I follows quickly as he made his way out the door.

“There are four teams out already, one in the north, east, south and west. Well cover the central area. When a call comes in the group closest will respond first. If they’re busy the second closest will respond.” I followed and took mental notes as he spoke.

“Just a question.” I asked when he took a break from explaining.

He looked down at me arms crossed, “What?”

“Do you ever work with any heroes outside of your agency or is it like a strict agency hero teamwork system for you?” I asked curious why he was talking with Hawks.

“There is an occasional hero that is nuisance, but can complete tasks efficiently.” He didn’t sound to happy about it.

“Hawks?” I asked tilting my head.

“Precisely.” He looked ahead on the semi empty streets, avoiding eye contact as to no have to interact with anyone.

“He’d be useless with out his wings, even if they don’t do much I wouldn’t expect much from them.” He stopped at a side walk lights nd peared around the corner into a dark alleyway.

“What’s wrong with wings?” I asked looking around where he did.

“They get in the way, they get dirty easy, if you’re anything like Hawks the slightly dust will awns you into a cleaning frenzy. Overall I think they are more trouble then they’re worth at times.” He said as he finally began to cross.

“Well I think they’re cool.” I looked down, our shadows fell behind us. “I mean they’re are so many things you can do.”

I activated my quirk, surprise, I can grow wings. I stretched my left wing behind Endeavor’s back to tap his left shoulder he’d turned and I pulled it away quickly.

“Also it’s just something about the sound of flying that just gives me a sense of peace and nostalgia. When I was younger, I used to love birds flying, crows and ravens specially. They would get closer not exactly afraid, I loved to listen to them flap their wings, it sounded powerful for such small birds, considering the size of birds of prey.” I shrugged and started to think about.

“Did you see someone back there?” Endeavor asked as I stopped.

“No why?” I asked looking back.

He didn’t say a thing but looked foreward. I moved to tap his shoulder, looking for a distraction.

“Ooo, look it’s you.” I pointed to a hero Mech store, Endeavor plushies and posters were on display by the window.

He turned to look I too the opportunity and tucked it away. I watched him look over his shoulder then back.

“Have you ever bought any of your own merchandise?” I asked him.

“No, I’m always gifted my own merchandise.” He didn’t seem impressed.

“Well then.” I mumbled and then saw a new collection.

“Look! They have a new thing.” I pointed to a small white box with question marks.

“Text your luck, see what UA student you can collect. class 1-A first collection, sixteen different figures, collect them all.” I read it out loud, “Im gonna buy some, I wonder if I can find myself, this is amazing.”

I got excited and deactivated my quirk, I could foil my own plan. I started to walk in before Endeavor cleared throat. It hit me, this is an internship, I slowly pushed the door.

“Pleeeeaaaasssseeeee.” I stretched it out not opening the door.

“Hurry.” He said and turned away.

I rushed in and bought the whole box. There’s three in each there has to be at least one of me. I saw a different bag and bought three of those, they were pro hero’s.

I walked out bag in head, “Alright I can compromise, if I get more then one Shoto I’ll let you have one, I think they’re keychains.” I said looking at the bag I was holding in my right hand.

Endeavor just looked at me and sighed, I smiled sheepishly and nodded. “Well let’s get back to work...”

As we walked I pulled my belt around my waist, it had a large pouch on the back, I pulled out all the small bags and squished them in there and made sure to-zip if tight. I threw the paper bag and box away and caught up with Endeavor.

We spent the next few hours doing nothing, just walking around. Every now and then I would tap his shoulder while I talked about something nonchalant, he look for whatever it was and turn back around.

“Well, I’m hungry, and you said patrols ended at 2, it’s 2:20.” I was looking at my phone.

“Alright.” He said stopping in the light of some 24 hour shop, “Well take a break.”

I got excited, I’d finally be able to open my toys.

“Great, What is this place I’m starving.” I leaned around and looked past Endeavors broad shoulders and chest.

“Boba tea and cafe.” I read the sign, “24/7 for your convenience. Pro hero discount after 9:40 pm.”

I looked up at Endeavor, “You even get a discount.”

I was about to pass him until someone cut me off. Red wings blocked my view. It was Hawks, I looked around and saw him, Tokoyami. I smiled at him, he nodded.

“Ew.” I said in fake disgust at Hawks with a smile on my face.

“Hm?” He turned to me.

“Oh didn’t see you there shorty.” He was snarky, he used the tip of his wing to ‘take’ my height to show how is a shorter then him.

“Don’t get to cocky, the size of your wings have nothing to do with the type of man you are.” I huffed and swatted his wing away.

It was very soft surprisingly.

He laughed, “Feisty.”

“Yeah, now, move please? I haven’t eaten since last night.” I said trying to get last.

“Endeavor!” He pushed past me forgetting about me and his intern.

I watched Endeavor’s face contort.

“Well let’s eat.” I shrugged at Tokoyami, he sighed and nodded.

Tokoyami and I walked in and made our way to the register.

“Alright, what do you that is good and affordable for high school students?” I asked when the guy asked how he could help us.

“We have a mystery meal,” he started, “You gettour choice boba tea, a side of rice, and depending on the day you get a cutlet, grilled fish, tempura shrimp, steamed vegetables, omelet or dumplings. We give you care and every time you order a mystery meal we lunch a hole, after six visits for the seventh by redeeming your card you can chose a pro hero inspired meal for free.” He explains and showed me a silver paper card with little squares.

“Alright, I’ll take one. Do you want one Tokoyami?” I asked. He was looking at the menu above us.

“Yes but you order fir-”

“Two mystery meals, his apple flavored if you have it and I’ll take strawberries, both with mango pearls please.” I gave the guy my bank card he scanned it and punched two holes in my card.

“Thank you.” I smield and took it from him.

“Aren’t you guys from UA?” He asked and eyes us.

“Yup, is you watched the festival you should at least recognize our own number three right here.” I patted Tokoyami’s shoulder.

We went to sit in a large booth, we kept small talk. Tokoyami telling me how Hawks likes to stand behind him and spread out his wings or carry him so then people see them they look like one whole bird.

After he finished I told him a bout the small figures and pulled out a bag, I asked him if he wanted to open one. He denied and I opened it. Out came three Tokoyami.

“Well then.” I said and picked one up, a small version of Dark shadow was coming from him in the figure.

“Look how cute dark shadow looks.” I pointed him out.

“Here you can have one.” I laid him the miniature version of himself.

He picks did up by the chain looking at it. “Not a lot of variety.”

I let out a few laughs, and shook my head, “Nah, it’s just beginners bad luck.”

I stood the two Tokoyami up and reached for another bag as I moved my pouch to the front to look like a Fanny pack.

“Well, I have our whole class now,” I tried to make a seating arrangement on the table. All the extras piled on the side.

“I’m even here.” I pointed to my smaller self.

“Sixty figures and I only get to keep sixteen.” I said and looked at the rest.

“Oh! Also look at these.” I pulled out a bag of pro hero’s.

“How much can you fit in that bag?” Hawks asked from his spot beside Tokoyami.

“A lot, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I said pulling out the bags of pro hero’s.

“These have four.” I read on fo three bags.

I opened the first bag, three all nights and an Aizawa.

“That’s depressing.” Hawks said as he picked up a Might.

“Next.” I said throwing the bag to the side.

A midnight, present mic and two ectoplasm.

“The bags says your chances of getting top five hero’s are better then the rest, but you literally just got a rare and not a single common.” Hawks said taking the empty bag from me.

I sighed. “Last one.”

I opened it and put came four Hawks.

I looked at him, he was smirking, “Ill end you, I’ll do it.”

I dropped the bag but it made a clicking noise.

I picked it up, “Look.” I showed stood the fifth figure up, “They packed an extra.”

“It’s a little Endeavor.” Hawks said reaching for it, “I didn’t spend 20 dollars for someone else to take it. I swatted his hand.

“But you can have a Tokoyami, All Might and Hawks.” I pushed the three to him.

He pouted and looked at the figure between my two fingers.

“But I want that one.” He pointed to Endeavor.

“No he’s mine.” I argued back.

“Excuse me, can we have a picture of you four for our hero wall?” The cashier boy was back with trays of food and a girl beside him with a camera.

Nobody had time to reply before Hawks was standing and ageeeing. “Everybody show your quirks, they have to know we’re legit.”

I looked at Endeavor who never stopped burning, “I don’t think it’s that hard to believe.”

We lined up, Hawks, Tokoyami, Myself and Endeavor.

I propped my left arm on Tokoyami’s shoulder, Hawks raised his wings and did a peace sign, Tokoyuhad darkshadow infront front of him, I stretched my wings up and out, and Endeavor has his arms crossed against his chest. The girl stuck the Polaroid to a paper and held a sharpie out, “would you like to si-“

Hawks snatched the paper away and looked at me then the paper then me.

“What?!” He asked and looked at me, twats at the corner of his eyes.

“I thought I was special,” he was deflating slowly.

I laughed and looked at the picture, “Ooo, I look good.” I said pointing to my wing, it stretched out further than Hawks.

“Well, don’t hold out on me what kind.” He squinted, “Eagle, when I was a younger everyone thought vulture or raven or crow but surprise! Bird of prey.” I shrugged.

“You know what this means?” He asked.

“No.” I answered honestly.

“Wing buddies!” He lifted his left wing and I looked at it, I tired to resist but sighed and gave in, I hit his wing with my own and sighed, “wind buddies!” I cheered back with a smile.

We all signed the paper and the lady hung it on a wall.

After eating we all headed out, I reached into my pouch and pulled out two figures. I slid back around to my back and held my hand out to Endeavor.

“Here, it’s you and Shoto.” I said offering the two figures.

“Thank you.” His voice was low and smooth, his larger hand covered mine as he took them. Heat leaving his hand and engulfing my own.

I felt my wings ruffle up a bit as J smiled, “You’re welcome Senpai.” I winked at him and grinned.

He looked over at me, my heart fluttered. His eyes looked so pretty in the dark, being lit up but every other white light we passd.

I was really hoping I wouldn’t call it love, but man, if this wasn’t love what was it?

We walked down the same side walk, I wanted to reach for his larger hand, in my mind I could here Shoto “do it.”

So I did, he tended and I whistled a tune like nothing happened. He just looked ahead, I smiled and tightened my grip slightly on his hand.

“This is definitely the best.”

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

@lovemadnessharleyquinn

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lunetheaveragefan · 3 years

Text

one day...

Hey! It’s time for chapter 6! This chapter also deals with some heavy things as well, so be mindful of that (as always, more details in the warnings). Anyway, that’s all, so enjoy the chapter!

A Sander Sides high school AU

Pairing: Prinxiety and some background Logicality

Summary: Virgil is used to being alone. He only has one friend, Logan. But when Logan makes a new friend, things begin to change as two more join their group. Roman, a boisterous theater kid, seems determined to destroy Virgil’s lonely, average life. How much will Virgil’s life change?

Warnings: mentions/descriptions of homophobia, bullying, suicide (hanging), suicide attempt (overdose), and self harm; mentions of Remus and Janus; swearing

Word Count: 1933 words

-------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER SIX

Roman bites his lip and looks around. After standing awkwardly in the middle of the cafeteria for too long for his liking, he finally spots Virgil, Roman, and Patton sitting at a table in the back corner of the room. Relieved, he makes his way towards them.

Virgil sees him coming towards the three of them, and, to Roman’s surprise, gives him a small smile. Patton must see this, because he turns around and spots Roman as well. He’s more openly enthusiastic and waves, a big grin lighting up his face.

Sliding into the open seat next to Virgil, Roman says, “It’s weird to be eating this early. I’m not used to it.” Patton chuckles.

Virgil, always one to get to the point, asks, “So. Why’d you stand up for me?” Roman bites his lip and thinks, Dammit. I was hoping he forgot. He didn’t want to tell them. No one, even Patton, knew why he’d suddenly become so averse to bullying after being one for years. Everyone most likely thought he had a change of heart somewhere along the line. And he had, in a way. But there was more to the story.

There is always more to the story.

“Well, uh, you see…” Roman stammers, trying to get himself together. He took a deep breath before continuing, “Well, back in middle school, right after I came out, my dad was such an asshole about it. He didn’t want to accept or respect that I was gay. He said -- and did -- a lot of things. I realized sometime in July that he was being a bully, and what he was doing wasn’t so different from what I had done. And I don’t want to stand around watching someone get beat up the way I was by him, you know? I don’t want to sit around, knowing I could do something, and then have to live with that regret for the rest of my life.” It’s only a half truth, and a shitty one at best, but Roman’s too scared to talk about what really happened.

He doesn’t want to relive the worst, most terrifying days of his life. Really, who would?

Patton, who’d already heard about what had happened the summer before freshman year a million times, still starts tearing up. What a sap, Roman thinks, but it’s a loving remark. He knows that he wouldn’t be near as happy, nearly as accepting of himself as he is now without Patton.

There’s not much of a reaction from Logan; just a small head nod and a slightly reassuring smile. But it’s more than Roman was expecting from the serious boy, so it throws him off. What throws him off more, however, is Virgil’s face.

It’s very skeptical, eyebrow raised, eyes drilling into Roman’s, almost as if he’s trying to see the lie just by the force of willpower. To Roman, it seems like he might be pretty close. No matter how much he wants to break eye contact with Virgil, he can’t. There’s something about it that draws him in, that’s electrical.

To Roman’s relief, Virgil looks away first, but only to roll his eyes.

“Oh come on, Roman,” Virgil scoffs. “I can smell a half-truth or lie or whatever the hell that was from a mile away. Now, that all may be true, but there’s more to the story. So cut the bullshit and start again. Besides, I’ve already heard that whole story. That’s not your big secret. Enlighten me, why don’t you? What would be so bad that the great Roman Princeford would have to hide it?” Resting his chin on his palm, Virgil smirks, an obvious challenge. He wants to see if I’ll break. Give in. And honestly, I don’t know if telling or closing off would be letting him win.

“Hey, now, Virgil,” Patton says, always the peacemaker. “Let’s be nicer—”

“No, no, it’s fine, Patton,” Roman interrupts. “He’s right. I-I can’t keep avoiding this.”

Dread settles in Roman’s stomach as he steels himself to tell the story. Ignoring Patton’s concerned, “Kiddo…” he begins.

“Well, I guess the right place to start is with saying this: I have a twin brother. Remus.” Breathe. “He’s-He’s special, I guess. His mind is...twisted. Dark. He likes things that aren’t really...well, good or happy. And I never minded. He was still my brother, demented as he may be.

“My parents, though...they thought something was wrong with him.” Breathe, Roman. You can do this. “They sent him to therapist after therapist, psychologist after psychologist. Gave him pill after pill, but nothing ever worked. He kept on being the same crazy Remus. So they just...gave up. On him and his future and their...their love for him, I suppose.

“But I never did. I tried to be there for him. I went to every performance he was in, I went to movies and football games with him. But it was harder as I grew up because suddenly, my parents decided that since Remus was a let down, a...a failure-” Come on! Don’t cry. It’s fine. You’re fine. Safe. “-that meant I had to make up for it. If they couldn’t have two normal sons, then one of them better be, had to be, pretty goddamn exceptional.

“So we grew apart. Remus found a boyfriend, Janus, who could take him to movies and football games and go see his performances. And I kept on being the glory child for my parents. And everyone else, it seemed. I didn’t know that he was getting bullied until...until it was almost too late.”

The images rise in his mind: The hospital room, sterile and white, and the boy lying still under the sheet. The rope, tied with a near perfect circle at the end, hidden in the back of his closet. The blood pooling, staining the carpet red, gushing from the slashes on his arms. The way he looked when he woke up, the disappointment clear on his face.

Remus, cold, pulse so slow Roman was sure he was dead, and the bottle of pills on the nightstand.

Roman forces the sobs back down his throat.

“Remus attempted suicide, and I didn’t even know he was hurting. He survived, of course, but just seeing him in the hospital, after...it hurt. A whole fucking lot. And so I swore to myself that I would do whatever I could to prevent that from happening to anyone. No one should have to look down at someone they care about, love, and hope with all they have that they survive. Knowing that someone tried to...to kill themself? That they genuinely thought it was the best option? It’s the worst feeling in the world. And I don’t want that for anyone.” Roman swipes at his eyes, only to find a single, hot tear creeping down his cheek. Quickly, hoping no one noticed, he wipes it away.

Blinking until he feels back in control of his emotions, Roman looks around. Patton, of course, is a sort of wounded puppy, concern in his eyes, and a hand over his heart. Logan has been sombered by the story, more sadness than Roman expected showing on his face. But curiously, Logan’s eyes aren’t on Roman; they’re on Virgil. And when he looks over, Roman sees why.

Virgil has tears streaming down his face. A hand is over his mouth, shaking slightly. His other hand clutches his wrist, so hard, the skin around his fingers is turning white. The two sit there for a moment, staring at each other. Abruptly, Virgil throws his arms around Roman and hugs him tightly.

“I’m-I’m so sorry,” Virgil says in between sobs. After the shock has passed, Roman wraps his arms around the other boy. The hugs lasts long enough for the butterflies in Roman’s stomach to become full-fledged birds of prey.

Finally, when Virgil pulls away, Roman offers him a small smile. To his surprise, Virgil returns it. Roman isn’t sure if he should ask Virgil about his reaction to the explanation or not, but Patton saves him from overthinking it.

“So the musical is coming up…” Patton prompts, clearly trying to change the subject. Thank God for Patton, Roman thinks. I don’t want to think about all that anymore.

“Yeah!” Roman replies, pasting a smile on his face. “You guys are all coming, right?”

Patton, looking scandalized, says, “Of course we are!” before correcting himself by saying, “Well, I am at least.”

“Personally, I’ve never understood the whole theatre thing,” Logan adds, “but I suppose, as your friend, I should come support you, so I will be there.” Patton smiles widely at that, causing a small chuckle from Roman. Patton’s always bugging me about confessing my feelings, yet here he is, keeping his crush to himself.

“And Virgil?” Roman asks, trying not to get his hopes up. He’s probably not going to want to come. Hanging out with me at school and studying is one thing, but this would be a clear admission of friendship, something he most definitely does not see me as. Why would he—

“Of course I’m coming,” Virgil says, wiping away his tears. “You’d have to be pretty stupid to thing I would miss it.” He gives Roman a gentle, friendly punch in the arm, and despite the lingering sadness from his earlier confession, Roman beams.

Trying to hide his overwhelming happiness, Roman simply states, “Cool.”

The rest of lunch, the four make conversation about meaningless things: upcoming tests, funny memories, disastrous family get-togethers, and the like. When they get up to dump their trays, Roman leans over to Virgil and whispers, “I apologize for making you cry. I didn’t think it would affect anyone that much.”

Virgil replies, “Oh, it’s okay. It just hit a little too close to home, that’s all. I’m fine now.” The smile Virgil gives him does reassure him. And for once, Roman doesn’t spend all his time thinking about what Virgil could possibly mean by the story ‘hitting a little too close to home,’ mostly because all Roman can think about is the feeling of Virgil’s arms wrapped around him and his small, yet no less meaningful, smiles.

It’s this he’s thinking about after school when the musical director says, quiet loudly, “Roman!”

Blinking repeatedly to dispel the distracting thoughts, he peaks around the curtain and asks, “Yes, Mr. Halter?”

“That was your entrance.” Roman winces.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” He hurries out to his spot on the stage, fixing his costume.

Mr. Halter sighs and says, “Roman, that’s the 5th time you’ve missed an entrance just today. What is going on? The play is on Friday. We don’t have time for messing around or distractions.” His face is filled with disappointment, but also concern. Roman figures it’s because he never messes up this much, especially when the performances are so close.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ll try to be more focused. Just have a lot on my mind.” Roman flashes a winning smile, and Mr. Halter looks relieved.

“Good. Now, let’s start with Ana’s line right before Roman’s entrance.” Roman and the rest of the cast and crew nod and get in their respective places. Back behind the curtains once again, Roman thinks, Goddammit, Virgil. You just keep on messing up my life. The thought, however harsh it seems, is filled with something awfully close to love.

But Roman knows he can’t keep dwelling on that almost-love, or at least not right now. So he shoves all thoughts of Virgil from his mind and steps into his character and out onto the stage.

#virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #prinxiety #logicality #deceit x remus #sanders sides #high school au #fanfiction #fanfic #one day...

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 3 years

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I have decided to post my list of all the stuff I watched this year (that I kept track of anyway!), so you can understand why I am incredibly not productive at reading, writing, or keeping my house clean.

Italics are used to indicate rewatches!

Movies Watched In 2020

January 1. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Ehh!) 2. The Biggest Little Farm (yay! nature! i guess.) 3. Cats (oof - but also, amazing!) 4. Like A Boss (I honestly barely remember what this is at this point. A relic from an age where we went to the movies just because we were bored!) 5. The Turning (NOPE! Thank God we got Bly Manor later in the year!) 6. You, Me, and Him (Very promising premise. Lucy Punch and David Tennant are there, even. But BAD!!!!!!!!) 7. Dolittle (Going to the movies just because you’re bored: Part 2) 8. Miss Americana (YES!!!!!) 9. THE VELOCIPASTOR (YES!!!!!!) February 10. Knives Out (a good ‘un) 11. A Little Princess (the BEST ‘un) 12. Enchanted (always an important rewatch!) 13. Birds of Prey (x2!) (THE ONLY WAY TO WATCH BIRDS OF PREY. can you believe that in this calendar year, i got to go see birds of prey in the theatre twice?) 14. Austenland (ALWAYS!) 15. Vita & Virginia (found it kind of a slog but might try it again someday) 16. Honey Boy (my boyfriend wanted to watch it okay) 17. Brittany Runs A Marathon (a decent dramedy time!) 18. Ideal Home (like sherlock holmes always called irene adler the woman, i always call this movie The Movie) 19. To All The Boys 2 (okay, with pretty colors and stuff!) 20. Best in Show (can you believe it took me this long to see it??) 21. Tell It To The Bees (nooooooooooooo! don’t tell ME about it, anyway!) 22. Napoleon Dynamite (PERFECTION ITSELF WAS ACHIEVED IN THE YEAR 2004!)

March 23. Mr. Right (trying to remember what this was. i think it’s that movie with anna kendrick and sam rockwell! in which case: a solid action romcom, VERY fun chemistry betwixt them!) 24. Mansfield Park (1999) (always a good ‘un full of hot mess people!) 25. Wild Nights With Emily (YES!) 26. Emma. (and on that day, we all knew austen aesthetic perfection) 27. Fighting with my Family (a solid watch always. plus: a movie about a teenage girl with no love interest!!!!! i am STILL thrilled about that.) 28. Jojo Rabbit (laugh-sob!) 29. Last Christmas (laugh-sob ft. emma thompson! emilia clarke make me one million more movies in the romcom-ish department! you were made to be sparkling and hilarious!) 30. Roman Holiday (this was the first time i’d seen this movie as an adult and it owned my whole soul) 31. The Big Year (i like birds and jack black and rashida jones and movies that feature alaska. who doesn’t?) April 32. Onward (this was fun!) 33. Parasite (this was fun, and then it TEARS YOUR SOUL OUT!) 34. Love. Wedding. Repeat. (.............. NO. do not, under any circumstances, repeat. why would you use sam claflin like this?) 35. Damsel (mia wasikowska and rpattz cool western weirdness!) 36. Jane Goodall: The Hope (jane goodall rules!!!!!!) 37. The Secret Garden (PERFECTION ITSELF, like and yet not at all like napoleon dynamite) 38. Portrait of a Lady on Fire (such a beautiful and aesthetically exquisite film!) May 39. Sense & Sensibility (1995) (ALWAYS) 40. That Thing You Do (i still had the soundtrack 100% memorized from my childhood!) 41. Click (DO NOT RECOMMEND) 42. Much Ado About Nothing (2011) - Not a movie, but it was 2 hours and 40 minutes so I'm counting it! Such a joy to see the T&T Delight Factory up to their antics in classic romcom shape! (that was my original note when i put it on the list; i stand by it. WHERE IS OUR TENNANT/TATE MARRIEDS SHOW?) 43. The Half of It (so good!) 44. Yes Man (i mean ... it happened!) 45. The Lovebirds (not amazing BUT a very fun pair of characters) June 46. If Beale Street Could Talk (beautiful! heartbreaking!) 47. Her (i mean ............ okay.) 48. A Mighty Wind (do you ever feel like eugene levy is eugene levy-ing TOO hard?) 49. Rocketman (a great ‘un!) 50. The King of Staten Island (i had some feelings! pete davidson did good!) 51. Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner (hey! i watched a classic movie this year! it was good! it felt more modern than i expected!) 52. Cat People (1982) - GOD HELP ME (my original note; i stand by it) 53. Blow the Man Down (aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!) 54. Outside In (what is this? i guess i’ll have to google it. oh! it was a lynn shelton movie! poignant and weird.) 55. The Hundred-Foot Journey (really nice if you want the feeling of going to very aesthetically pleasing europe without actually being able to go to europe! plus: FOOD) 56. The Good Liar (oh my god this movie was BLEAK and i wanted it to be FUN, damn it!) 57. The Blackcoat's Daughter (I hated watching this ... SO MUCH!!!!!!!) 58. Eurovision Song Contest: the Story of Fire Saga (I loved watching this ... SO MUCH!!!) July 59. Carrie Pilby (i mean, it happened) 60. Big Eden (so sweet!!!!!! this dude also made the family stone and i’ve realized i kind of love his movie style.) 61. Love Jacked (some classic made-for-tv-level romcom goodness!) 62. Uncut Gems (AAAAAAAAAH) 63. Late Night (i mean, it’s mindy kaling and emma thompson, come on) 64. Spaceship Earth (i watched a documentary! i’m a really smart person now, guys! like, if you asked me what this documentary was about, i would say, “blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah!”, giving you the exact right answer!) 65. Desperados (BAD, but a winston/aly reunion is not something i’m gonna turn my nose up at) 66. Palm Springs (so good!!!!!!) 67. Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (so good!!!!!!!!) August 68. Summerland (SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!) 69. Outlaw King (no thank you please! i just wanted the whole thing to be about chris pine and florence pugh’s arranged marriage, because i am me) 70. 10 Cloverfield Lane (a forever gothic fave!) 71. Crimson Peak (another forever gothic fave! [we were watching all these because my boyfriend was writing a paper about all my gothic faves]) 72. Get Out (see above!) September 73. Rear Window (what a zany time this movie is! grace kelly = PERFECT, window guy with broken leg whose name i’ve forgotten = A DAMN FOOL for stringing her along) 74. Little Women (2019) (i mean, you don’t need to hear me talk about this even more) 75. Ex Machina (gothic fave again!!!!!!!!!!) 76. Enola Holmes (this movie really just made me so happy with its bright sunny aesthetic and enola being epic, hilarious, plucky, and awesome) 77. Parasite (again! this time for the whole modern gothic movies purpose! by this point me and the bf were starting to get kind of depressed/freaked out!) 78. Leap Year (MY LOVE, MY LIFE) October 79. The Witches (1990) (um. WHAT! i thank the good lord that i never saw this as a child, because it would have been the mental ruin of me.) 80. Hubie Halloween (hey, it happened in front of my eyeballs, okay!) 81. Rebecca (2020) (x2) (yes. i watched it twice for some reason. and by ‘some reason,’ i mean SHIPPING MRS. DW 2 AND MRS. DANVERS BECAUSE WHY NOT, THEY WERE VIBIN’!) 82. The Witches (2020) (would NOT scar me for life; i did find it nicer than critics seemed to) 83. The Addams Family (i mean, *chef’s kiss*) 84. Addams Family Values (DEBBIE IS MY HERO!) 85. Holidate (this was dumb but also quite fun?) 86. Hocus Pocus (THE essential october watch! god, i miss the 90s.) 87. Ready or Not (s’more excellent halloween viewing! i didn’t find this movie quite as fun rewatching as i did the first time around, but danged if it’s not a great lead performance.) November 88. Downhill (well, no. i guess what this gave to my lif was when i read the new ruth ware novel shortly after this, i was like, “dang, avalanches are really factoring into my fiction lately!” and that’s what this movie gave me. would have loved to see a stronger movie from these actors!) 89. My Best Friend's Wedding (rewatchin’ a classic! this movie kind of rules?) 90. Easy A (the parents are my lifespiration always!) 91. Ideal Home ❤️❤️❤️ (sometimes, you watch a movie you love very much yet again, and your soul cannot rest until you put three heart emojis beside its title) 92. Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (so fun and pretty to look upon!) 93. The Invisible Man (2020) (AAAAAAAH! this was a great movie.) 94. An American Pickle (rather poignant and diverting!) 95. The Princess Switch (i don’t know why the exact degree of sweet stupidity in these movies charms me so, but it does. it does!) 96. The Princess Switch 2 (EVEN BETTER! MORE VANESSAS TO SWITCH!) 97. Big Miracle (alaska movie!!!!!!! with lots of great people in it!!!!!) 98. Happiest Season (i mean, i don’t know. i’ve read so much discourse on either side of the issue that i just DON’T KNOW. it happened! i watched it!) 99. Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day (AMY ADAMS BEING PERFECT, FRANCES MCDORMAND BEING PERFECT, LEE PACE BEING PERFECT, CIARAN HINDS BEING PERFECT) 100. The Family Stone (i hated this movie when it first came out but i loved it watching it this time around??? i love movies when it’s a bunch of people just interacting within a small, not very dramatic setting. that’s my catnip.) December 101. Godmothered (i love the f/f version i made up in my head) 102. Little Nicky (yeah! that’s right! i watched little nicky this year! i blame spn!) 103. Emma (2020) (sometimes a girl needeth a rewatch) 104. The Secret Garden (2020) (nah.) 105. Batman Returns (WHAT!) 106. Batman Forever (WHAT!!!) 107. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (i did it! i finally watched them!) 108. The Holiday (i, no joke, love this movie more every single time i watch it.) 109. Little Women (1994) (SAME!) 110. The Hobbit 2 (probably the one i enjoyed the least in the trilogy? but also: tauriel!) 111. Little Women (2019) (some years, you just keep watching cinema auteur greta gerwig’s adaptation of little women.) 112. Wonder Woman 1984 (*shrug*) 113. The Hobbit 3 (i actually liked this one, maybe the best of the lot! but not enough to include the actual title in my list!) and my list of tv for the year, but sans commentary because i’m tired. if you want to ask what i thought of anything, go right ahead! you’re sure to get a thrilling answer!! TV Shows Watched in 2020 January Spinning Out, Season 1 New Girl, Full Series Grace and Frankie, Season 6 The Mandalorian, Season 1 Sex Education, Season 2 February The Crown, Season 1 Sanditon, Season 1 Locke & Key, Season 1 The Crown, Season 2 Fresh Off The Boat, Season 6 March Hillary, Full Series (Huh, something weird must have happened this month! Ahahahaha ......)

April The Office, Full Series Anne with an E, Season 1 Happy Endings, Full Series Avenue 5, Season 1 Derry Girls, Full Series The Kingdom of the White Wolf May Never Have I Ever, Season 1 Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, Season 1 Good Girls, Season 3 Bless This Mess, Season 2 Sense & Sensibility (2008), Full Series The Last Man On Earth, Full Series Broadchurch, Full Series The Great, Season 1 The Mick, Full Series Poldark, Season 5 June Beecham House, Season 1 Wanted, Seasons 1-3 The Baby-Sitters Club, Season 1 July Anne with an E, Full Series The Mindy Project, Full Series Four Weddings and a Funeral, Full Series This Is Us, Season 4 The Big Flower Fight, Season 1 Atlanta, Season 1 Catastrophe, Full Series August Lovesick, Full Series The Miniaturist, Full Series Harley Quinn, Season 1 Doctor Who, Season 1 Episodes, Full Series Harley Quinn, Season 2 The Comeback, Full Series Doctor Who, Season 2 Torchwood, Season 1 September Reign, Season 1 Reign, Season 2 Doctor Who, Season 3 Torchwood, Season 2

Escape to the Chateau, Season 1-Season 4 The Duchess, Season 1 Torchwood, Children of Earth Superstore, Season 1-3 Reign, Season 3 October Superstore, Season 4-5 Emily in Paris, Season 1 Over the Garden Wall, Full Series Doctor Who, Season 4 Pen15, Season 2 Last Tango in Halifax, Season 5 Reign, Season 4 The Haunting of Bly Manor Doctor Who, Season 5 The Baby-Sitters Club, Season 1 Dickinson, Season 1 November Ted Lasso, Season 1 Flesh and Blood, Full Series Supernatural, Season 1 Supernatural, Season 2 Brooklyn 99, Seasons 1-7 Miracle Workers, Season 1 Supernatural, Season 3 I Hate Suzie, Season 1 December Supernatural, Season 4 Dash and Lily, Full Series Supernatural, Season 5 Supernatural, Season 6 The Undoing, Full Series Life in Pieces, Full Series The Flight Attendant, Season 1 Ghosts, Series 1-2 Doctor Who, Season 6 Supernatural, Season 7 Doctor Who, Season 7 His Dark Materials, Season 2 Bridgerton, Season 1

#dollsome's deep thoughts #sort of #how else do i label the tv and movie consumption which shapes my being?

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charliejrogers · 3 years

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Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) - Review & Analysis

Here’s a non-controversial statement: 2017’s Wonder Woman is a legitimately great film (if you discount the last act’s boring battle). A fun, yet emotional anti-war tale with a great period aesthetic. What elevated it from greatness was its starkly bleak reveal that Ares does not start man’s wars, but he merely gives humans ideas for how to instigate them. Ultimately, it is Man who holds responsibility for our own destruction, and despite this Wonder Woman still chooses to help us poor creatures. Cool themes, cool hero, cool movie.

Wonder Woman 1984 shares the main character from its 2017 forerunner, as well as its dedication to recreating a particular period aesthetic (here the 1980s), but the brilliant writing from the first film is gone. The main themes are essentially… “be careful what you wish for” and “winners never cheat; cheaters never win.” Not the most grand and interesting follow-up to the prior film’s genuine insight into human nature.

But that’s OK. I’m really not sure why this movie is getting so much flak online. If DC’s recent prior history with filmmaking should have taught us anything, it’s that 2017’s Wonder Woman was a fluke. Remember that this is the same studio that brought us the outstanding climax to Batman vs. Superman where one grown man learns that another grown man’s mother is also named Martha. Oh, and did we all just forget that Justice League is one of the worst movies we have all collectively ever seen?

So let’s not be too hard on WW84 for not meeting the quality of 2017’s Wonder Woman. Few comic book movies can. In the more fair comparison to other movies in the DCEU, it sits below Shazam! and Aquaman, and just a smidge below Birds of Prey, but certainly above Suicide Squad, and then literally leaps and bounds over every other movie they’ve made.

Let’s start with the good. Honestly, despite my gripes about the themes of the movie not being very profound, I found the story to be interesting. The movie centers around Diana Prince (Gal Gadot in her role as an archaeologist for the Smithsonian and not as Wonder Woman) stumbling upon an ancient stone whose inscription invites people who hold the stone to make a wish. No one takes it really seriously at first, so two people make wishes without thinking they could come true. The first person is Diana herself who wishes to bring her boyfriend (whom she only knew for about a week, mind you) from the dead. As a reminder from the first film, her boyfriend Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) had died nearly 70 years prior to the start of this film in a dramatic, sacrificial, world-saving act. Apparently, Diana hasn’t moved on at all from the 1910s and still considers her short-time lover to be her forever lover. She’s not really a human and did not grow up a human, so I think we can forgive her for not moving on… but it is weird to imagine that Diana somehow works at the Smithsonian (without going to college? Or did she?) without developing any friends or interest in life. Wouldn’t she have moved on... like a little bit?

Anyways, she wants her boyfriend back, and that’s wish #1. Wish #2 comes from new character Barbara Minerva (Kristen Wiig… who I am shocked to find is 47 years old! She looks fantastic and far younger in this film). Were Barbara a man, the way she is treated by her colleagues would put them in the stereotypical role of a future school shooter. Barbara is a brilliant gemologist for the Smithsonian, but goes completely unrecognized for her brilliance. She is shy and unconfident, and subsequently people frequently forget that they have even met her. Add on to that the fact that she has to work in the same office as Wonder Woman, and her loneliness and subjective feelings of unattractiveness increase as male employees drool over Diana while they ignore and mock Barbara. Therefore, we would forgive her for having a chip on her shoulder. Yet, for all this, Wiig avoids playing her as an angry, emo goth. Barbara kinda has this air about her of “Well, this is just how life is, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.” Given the character’s lack of self-confidence and lack of social grace, it at times seemed like Wiig was just reprising her old SNL character, Penelope, the socially awkward one-upper. But that’s not fair to her character. Wiig portrays Barbara with an earnest goodness to her. She’s one of those people who when allowed to talk one-on-one proves to be more eloquent and interesting than you could have imagine. Far from being angrily envious of Diana’s confidence and beauty, she’s more sadly jealous. Naturally, then, she wishes on the stone to be more like Diana… unaware that this wish might have some unintended benefits.

But then, there’s a third key character to the film (and a third wishmaker), the main villain Maxwell Lord (Pedro Pascal). I cannot tell you if this was a good character or not… and I cannot tell you whether the imperfections of the character are more due to the film’s writing or Pascal’s performance. Lord is another loser, and like Barbara, his “loser” status is the result of being a victim of America’s prejudicial attitudes. But whereas Barbara fell victim to sexism, Lord falls victim to racism. Hispanic in origin, Lord grew up in America with an abusive father at home and racist classmates at school. Beaten down from an early age, all he wants in life is to make a name for himself, to prove he’s not a loser. In a clever twist, Lord (the person who originally ordered the wish stone to come to America before it was confiscated by the FBI and sent to the Smithsonian for analysis) does not simply use the stone to wish for riches and power… he wishes to BECOME the stone. That way, he can get nearly infinite wishes so long as he can con the people around him to wish things for him.

The scenes of Max Lord as a flawed human who just wants to not be a loser show Pascal giving a great performance as a human being at the ends of desperation. The scenes of Max Lord the supervillain are… not good. In a long string of over-the-top, eccentric, hyperconfident supervillains in countless superhero movies, Pascal’s Lord is just not interesting. In fact, he is literally a weak character. He cannot fight for himself as his body is crumbling (a side effect of wishing to become a stone). Furthermore, his initially grounded motivations to finally be respected and successful seem to be just utterly lost by the end of the film when he just wishes for world chaos… only then to turn around and declare undying love for his son. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Failure to understand a character’s motivations casts a shadow over Barbara’s character arc as well. It is explained that the wish stone takes something in return for granting someone their wish. So as payment for bringing Steve Trevor back to life, Diana loses some of her strength. Still… this strains to fully explain why Barbara, after gaining Wonder Woman-like strength, turns into a walking humanoid cheetah (complete with bad CGI like she walked straight out of the cast of 2019’s Cats.) Like I get that she lost some of her humanity and morality in exchange for strength… but Cheetah girl seems like a little much. And though initially it is fun to see Wiig get to play Barbara as a confident and sexy woman who fights back against the patriarchy, the movie (I think) unfairly pushes her into the villain role. In my opinion, she should be treated as a tragic character, something akin to a Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight, as her villainous tendencies are not really her fault. She literally had the part of her that cares about other humans taken away from her when she naively and innocently wished to be like Diana. Instead, the movie has Diana lecture her that she shouldn’t be so evil. She literally can’t, lady! Stop being so hard on her! In any case, it seems like a failed opportunity to generate sympathy for a genuinely likable character who tragically becomes a villain not through her own accord.

That failure to create genuine emotions extends to Diana’s story as well. As soon as Steve is resurrected, you know by the movie’s end he will be dead again. There’s no other way this movie ends. Yet, the fact that Diana is so stubborn in refusing to give up Steve makes it hard to sympathize with her. She is simply being selfish, making her eventual decision to say goodbye to Steve feel more like her finally doing the right (and obvious) thing, and not some heartbreaking decision. Also the fact that seemingly Diana hasn’t even tried to move on in the last seventy years doesn’t help matters for me: it more just feels like a lazy way to write in Chris Pine’s popular character into the second movie. The move certainly weakens the idea of Diana as a strong, independent woman by making her emotionally stunted and crippled for the last 70 years. It would have been a much more satisfying (and daring) choice if Diana had moved on from Steve emotionally and had to deal with the guilt of having brought him back by accident, particularly if he didn’t want to go back to being dead. Instead... Steve knows he has to go back and Diana feels no guilt keeping him around. It’s weak character writing.

These poor choices I contrast with two of my favorite TV shows that demonstrate perfectly how former lovers who miraculously reunite eventually have to say goodbye for good: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Jane the Virgin. For risk of spoilers to those still watching Jane, I’ll stick to the Buffy example. There’s an episode of Buffy (though technically an episode of the spin-off show Angel) where Buffy and her vampire lover Angel are fresh off their recent and tumultuous break-up, but through some dark magic that neither seeks out, they are given the opportunity to live a life where Angel isn’t actually a vampire and their love can be fully expressed. Yet, in the end, Angel opts to give up his life as a human and return to being a vampire. The choice is so moving precisely because (due to circumstances I cannot begin to explain) in choosing to give up his life with Buffy, he saves her life as well. Whereas in this movie, Diana choosing to let Steve go is really just her choosing to undo her choice to essentially cheat death. Angel, however, is actively choosing to give up a life of happiness he never wished for but was just given on a silver platter, and will now live in a world where his lover will never know his selfless act and will go on hating him. It’s heartbreaking in a way Wonder Woman dreams it could be.

And not to get too Buffy-heavy… but that show also deals with the emotional consequences of being ripped out of the afterlife much better than this movie. Steve just kinda unrealistically adapts to being alive again in all of five minutes. If, perhaps, from the start he questioned why he was there and hinted to Diana that something was wrong, the emotional aspect of this story, the doomed nature, the feeling of “this is the last chance we’ll have together” could have made this a stronger movie. I wanted to find myself crying when Diana finally says bye to Steve, and I was no where close to that. Gal Gadot shares at least part of the blame. She’s a pretty wooden actress. It’s something I noticed in 2017’s Wonder Woman, but in that movie she was supposed to be a fish out of water so her stilted presence seemed appropriate. Here, where she’s supposedly become an assimilated American for 70 years… it is just bad acting.

Anyways, another aspect of this film that was lacking were the visuals. The bad CGI of Barbara as Cheetah is just scratching the surface here. The opening flashback to Diana as a girl performing in the Amazonian Olympics just… looks fake. I don’t know. The reliance on CGI over practical effects is clear and distracting. It’s only worse in the subsequent scene where Wonder Woman stops a theft from occurring in a mall. The effects are just bad. Like passable for a film in the 1990s or early 2000s. But for a 2020 blockbuster, it’s noticeably bad. And already the scene where Wonder Woman is running towards the camera with a weird green screen behind her seems to have become a meme given just how weird it looks.

And yet, for all the negatives I’ve listed, this is a decent action flick. There’s even some nice set pieces like the one in the White House. As little as I liked Max Lord as a supervillain, I found figuring out the other half of each of his various Monkey Paw wishes (i.e. the downside of each wish) to be clever. unfortunately, each of the main three characters fails to have a story line that takes full advantage of their emotional potential, or they are just poorly acted. With few exceptions, the film eschews “fun” in favor of “seriousness.” Really the only exception is, as in the first film, the chemistry between Pine and Gadot. Their chemistry makes for some of the movie’s best moments, like when Wonder Woman makes the plane they’re flying in invisible and the pair flies over fireworks on the fourth of July. But that sense of whimsy in their scenes is largely absent from the rest of the film. This is particularly true of the action sequences, especially those at the climax. The seriousness makes them rather boring. Really, I’m comparing these action scenes with the last half hour or so of Birds of Prey which really set the bar for superhero movie fight choreography. So in the end, it’s overall an OK movie. It certainly isn’t as bad as others make it out to be, but I cannot believe I’m saying this… in 2020 if you’re in the mood for a fun superhero movie, you’re better off with the Suicide Squad sequel than the Wonder Woman sequel.

**/ (Two and a half stars out of 4)

#wonder woman #ww84 #wonder woman 1984 #gal gadot #patty jenkins #chris pine #kristen wiig #pedro pascal

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