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#anyway this is like kinda modern times. that or nobody cares if you're gay or not because fuck the 80's homophobia
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Some Newsies Headcanons
Jack:
This man 100% pretends to be all brave an tough and then proceeds to cry himself to sleep
Probably afraid of thunderstorms but hides it
Had a horse phase when he was younger (So did Race but not as bad)
Sometimes forgets words for things and decides to make them up (couldn't remember the word for cigar so he yelled at Racetrack not to let Les use his "fire leaf stick")
Still has nightmares about the refuge
That Santa Fe pamphlet is more important to him than most of the people he knows (with the exception of Davey, Les, Crutchie, and Race)
Has threatened to use a lasso to tie Racetrack to the wall at least once, and no, it didn't work
David:
Talks to himself when he's doing things
Can see right through Jack's bullshit/knows when he's pretending to be okay vs when he actually is
Cannot dance but tries
Fidgets with literally anything he can get his hands on
A modern David would cry after watching Dear Evan Hansen
Genuinely doesn't know how to smoke and legit inhaled the smoke and started dying the first time Jack offered a cigar to him
Dresses very formally literally no matter where he's going
Talks about Jack to Sarah because he is very gay and doesn't want advice from his parents
Sometimes questions his gender identity but always forces himself not to think about it because of what his family might think
Crutchie:
I will die on the hill that Crutchie is probably an age regressor, but keeps it a secret because this is Newsies and nobody tells anyone anything
Will beat you with his crutch if you insult his friends
Will apologize after hitting someone in a fight
Claims to hate being carried but does kinda like it
Will go to work even if he's dying of an unknown deadly sickness because he feels bad about others helping him
Race:
This is pretty much canon at this point I believe but Race is transmasc
Spot is the only one allowed to call him "Racer", he will protest if anyone else calls him that
Always has a cigar purely for the sake of having something in his mouth, not because he smokes it
Got his harmonica taken away by Jack after playing it nonstop at all hours of the night
Spot has offered to let him live in Brooklyn and he just kinda said no because he's fine making the walk every day
Acts like an idiot but is actually really smart
Probably hates basically everything about himself but acts like he's the best to hide it because this is Newsies and nobody tells anyone anything
Seriously all of these characters just need to sit down and have a heart to heart
"I can't wait for anything! The doctors call it ADHD- I call it RDHD, because my name is Racetrack!" (Bonus points if yall get that reference)
A modern Racetrack would show Spot that one song from Raggedy Ann, "It's hard to be king when you're short" and get yelled at
Spot:
Gets teased constantly for being short
Constantly looks like he wants to unalive the next person he sees
Steals Racetrack's hat to annoy him
Racetrack compared him to one of those small yappy dogs once and Spot now thinks about it constantly
Aggressively kind to the people he cares about ("DRINK WATER AND GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP, I FUCKING LOVE YOU")
Refuses to explain why he ran away from his family
Despises his real name because "it sounds like an old man name"
Anyways that's all :)
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mrdarcygenderenvy · 2 months
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Recent Austen adaptations yelling
Ok I DID make this blog to review historical-set Pride & Prejudice adaptations (with an exception made for iconic B&P). But for everyone who was DEFINITELY WONDERING, yes I have also been storing away a lot of opinions about other recent Austen adaptations that I Must Tell Someone.
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Fire island (2022)
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A modern gay party cheesy rom-com P&P that genuinely made me laugh. Having seen some other (whiter) cheesy gay romcoms that were extreeeemely PG & playing it safe, I was pleasantly surprised.
Also Bowen Yang and his story just came across really earnest in a way I was into - would watch this man cry again, 10/10.
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Personally as an extremely disabled british nerd (now tragically unable to travel and/or go to the club...) this gay scene is a long way from my queer scene. But I still had emotions, you know?
Kinda wanted more of the Mary analogue and generally just normal looking people (almost everyone is so ripped) but I appreciate that's how beautiful smooth people often look in mainstream american films, we can't have everything.
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DARCY WATCH: I do not want to dress like this adaptation's chinos Mr Darcy. But Conrad Ricamora was generally great and very hot and awkward and understood the assignment. Good ice cream throw.
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Emma (2020)
I know I know, it's pretty... but I don't think that's enough!!!!!
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Lovely production, beautiful costumes, a candy wes-anderson cinematography that really suits the story, and it's fun to notice references to actual outfits and prints from the time but lads. LADS. UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME: Where is the chemistry???
You can’t make Mr Knightley a nice sweet boy (so funny to have cast a posh folksy singing man) and leave the plot the same and expect it to work!! Also I was personally pissed off that a lot of the promo/ ads for this made it look like ~forbidden love~ when it's the 2 richest white people in town getting together?? ? There's actually not even a class difference in this one, guys.
Basically this romance was nothing to me!!! I felt nothing!!!!!!!! WHERE'S THE DEPTH
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I did like the bit where he lies down though. Relatable.
Also why are you drawing so much attention to the servants when you don’t seem to have anything to say about class...? 'Wow look how many servants they had! Anyway, they don't get any speaking lines'... it's 2020 guys!!! like what are we saying here. 'isn't it cool to think about how people were rich'??
kind of the point of Emma (character) is she's pretty superficial, but the story does not, in fact, have to be
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Persuasion (2022)
Weeping softly into a pillow........ did you know this version meant a version with Sarah Snook and Joel Fry got cancelled?? we could have had it all
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(standing on a table yelling) THE MODERNISATION WAS NOT THE PROBLEM WITH THIS FILM!!!
Honestly I actively liked all the entire secondary cast in this. Louisa and Mary were extremely charming fun takes to watch. ('I'm an empath' IS right for the character if you're doing modern jokes!!!) And nobody can deny this was a correct and powerful use of Richard E Grant.
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Henry Golding was naturally great. Apparently he got offered the lead and took the villain instead, which DOES mean the villain is super charming and fun to watch which is... hard to match and.... kind of shows up.... the main man.
It's been said before but the main two were WOEFUL imo. I have no beef with the actors I just question the DIRECTION and whether anyone making this knew (or cared) why people... enjoy things.
Book Anne is the quietest gentlest loser and I LOVE HER and so does basically every Austen nerd. Making her a quirky wine-bath girl who's honestly just cruel sometimes fully stops the main romance chemistry and plot from working.
And it means the main boy is still like 'god I'm so horny for how KIND AND CAPABLE YOU ARE' which is just 100% no longer true. You can't transplant a personality in a romance but leave the plot the exact same and expect it to work. The chemistry IS the plot in a romance..........
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you can't act morally superior to your siblings and still rate people out of ten.... also so funny to me that everyone else gets period outfits and hair whereas this protagonist looks like she just glanced at a picture of any time in the past and grabbed a couple shirts from primark. it doen't even look good or build character!!!!!
Anyway, not to be an elderly man like 'ohhh why does nobody care about character these days' but the reason something like Clueless works is because it has the heart of the story right, instead of just copying the surface level stuff.
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mediocre--writing · 3 years
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They’re just sitting there. On the bleachers. Like a pair of basic chicks gossiping in a teen movie. 
Well, it’s an exact description of what they’re doing. Down to the not-so-mindless chat about the boys they were interested in. 
“I mean--do you see the way his hair like bounces when he runs? It practically defies gravity,”
“Yes, I do see that. And if you mention something about his hair one more time, you’re about to defy gravity until you hit the cement behind the bleachers,”
“Harsh, Nance,” Billy tutted as he leaned against the bleacher behind him, “that was harsh!” 
“B, I was obsessed with the guy for like--almost a year, alright? I know how his hair looks when he runs,”
“I know... it’s just gotten a bit longer recently and there’s like this little piece that always hangs above his eyebrow that he blows away and it’s so--”
“Cute? Adorable? Mind-numbingly attractive?” Nancy deadpanned with a pointed glare at Billy. 
“I was going to say endearing, but I like ‘mind-numbingly attractive’ much better,” He gave a classic smirk at her obvious annoyance but enjoyed the view he had of the track team doing their drills and warm ups. 
“What about you, Mr. Sporty? Why aren’t you trying out right there with him?”
“Me?” Billy asked as if the idea of him exercising was a feat unknown to the world. “Oh, honey, I don't run,”
Nancy scrunched her nose at being called ‘Honey’ but rolled her eyes at his statement. “Well you’ve been chasing Steve for so long, it must’ve slipped my mind,”
“And how are things going with you and the stalker?” Billy shot back with a smug look on his face. 
“He’s not a stalker!” Billy tilted his head towards hers, giving a look of disbelief, “He’s the yearbook photographer, it’s his job to take pictures around school!”
“Oh? So it’s his job to make sure he gets photos of you in every class, multiple times a day? For the yearbook, I’m sure,”
“That’s not--” Billy lifted an eyebrow and Nancy accepted defeat, “Fine,”
“I don't see why you don’t just go for it? Corner him in that creepy dark room and get what you want. I’m sure he’s in there right now waiting for you to slam him into the wall and get it on. It’s even got that nice, red mood lighting--”
Nancy slapped Billy’s leg, as he was above her bleacher and leaning back, but, had she had the chance, she would have whacked the back of his head. 
Billy’s loud, bark-like laugh made Steve’s head turn from where he was standing at the start line on the track and stare for a minute. 
“Miss your little Princess?” another boy, Steve thinks his name is Todd or something, taunts as Steve turns back to the track, rather than admiring the way Billy’s gold hair shines in the sunlight.
“Sure,” Steve says, as he wasn’t really paying attention nor felt any need to listen to Todd-whatever.
“Yeah, well I think that Hargrove’s got his claws in her now,”
Steve actually heard and processed that comment, “What?”
“C’mon, you can’t tell me that you haven’t noticed that they’re always together. They follow each other between classes and he drives her home sometimes. I heard from Tommy H, who heard from Carol, who’s seen them eating at Benny’s at least five times by now,” 
“I really don’t care,”
Steve, actually, cared very much. 
He could’ve sworn that Nancy had alluded to liking Byers when she’d finally broken it off with him. Plus, she didn’t seem like the type to like her men especially manly. Especially not someone like Billy Hargrove. And, to the best of his knowledge, Billy Hargrove didn’t particularly care for Nancy’s...kind (you know: women).
“He's looking at youuuuu..” Nancy prodded as she poked at Billy’s jean-clad calf and wiggled her eyebrows towards the field. 
“Can you shut up?” Billy grumbled as if he wasn’t turning bright red out of embarrassment. 
“Ok, Mr. Harrington,” she whispered not-so-subtlety.
Billy leaned forward from where he was leaning and swatted playfully at her shoulder, his face turning even more red and eyes practically bugging out of his head. “I will throw you down these bleachers!”
“Why? You wanna save me and show everyone that you know CPR or some shit so you look all heroic in front of your boyfriend?”
“Nancy Fallulah Wheeler--”
“That’s not my middle name--”
“Well you still refuse to tell me your real middle name,” He accused before going back to his threat, “I swear to God that I will tear you limb from limb and kill you and make it look like an accident,” Billy pointed a finger at her with a glare, but it held no real malice behind it.
“Awww, you’re so in love with him, you’re acting delusional,” Nancy cooed. 
“I’ll tell the stalker that you know he’s been taking your pictures since the school year has began and get all the pictures--no--only the bad pictures, and make them posters, then I will proceed to post them everywhere,” Billy had a bright, teasing smile on his face as he concocted a ‘revenge plan.’ “And I'm sure he has at least one of you sneezing. Or maybe the day when you decided to eat clam chowder and ended up wearing it? Don't try me, Wheeler,”
“Yeah, well, what if I just did this?” Nancy smirked evilly. 
Billy sat up to attention. He knew that smirk. Nothing good ever happened after that smirk. 
Nancy stood up on the bleachers and screamed, at the top of her lungs, “STEVE!!” then dropped down as Billy grabbed her by the waist and yanked her to sit next to him. 
She giggled her little heart out as Billy waved at Steve on the track then whispered his murderous thoughts right in Nancy’s ear. 
Steve, albeit confused, couldn’t help but smile at Billy’s little wave of dismissal and obvious embarrassment. It was kinda cute. 
“Yeah, the princess definitely doesn’t seem to like you anymore, bud,” Todd-whatever felt the need to say. 
“Yeah, that’s not who I’m looking at, but thank you anyway,” Steve gave a mocking smile before the coach’s whistle blew and he took off for his sprint. 
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