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#anyway probably some manga spoilers after this point so read at your risk
huiyi07 · 7 months
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GENSHIN MANGA SPOILERS! but honestly if you haven’t read it by now it’s your fault alone
So why did Kaeya initially try to hurt Collei?
The obvious answer- he was trying to defend Mondstadt, Collei was a very suspicious figure at the time, and he knew that being aggressive towards her would probably draw out her hidden powers and reveal herself as the culprit of the Black Fire incident.
But there’s more to it than that.
Kaeya canonically loves, LOVES kids. He adores them- there’s lots of times in the game where he talks about how precious childhood is and how he wants to protect the purity of childhood dreams for as long as possible before kids have to grow up and face the real world (kinda similar to Childe). In 3.8, it shows how he is literally willing to do anything to protect a child- Klee, when he literally throws aside his own sibling issues in order to shield Klee from being exposed to the same thing and scolds a couple of bickering brothers for upsetting her.
Additionally, there’s his whole thing with Mika and how he’s basically a big brother figure to the entirety of Mondstadt’s population under 17. The highly implied bond between Bennett, Razor, Fischl and him, even.
Anyway this whole aspect of his character obviously stems from his own childhood and how tainted it was by his hidden identity, so like he probably doesn’t want any other kids to have to go through such hardship especially while they’re still young.
So if he loves kids so much, and wants to protect them so badly, why did he not hesitate to become a full blown villain against Collei, literally wounding an innocent 12-year old girl?
Because he sees himself in her.
Collei hates herself (or at least she used to LOL). She hates the burden (her powers) that was forced upon her from a young age, and those powers inevitably label her as a bad person, one who can harness evil powers to kill And hurt and whatever. It makes her feel like she has no real control over herself, and that she has no self-identity- she doesn’t think of herself as a regular person, instead a monster. And she hates, hates, hates herself for it, but she shoves all of it down under a mask.
Sound familiar to a certain cavalry captain?
That’s why Kaeya didnt hesitate to Go after her. He knows her too well, knows that she’s hiding her true identity under a well-crafted face, that there’s something evil and dark in her- because that’s exactly who he was as a kid.
But then this panel happens.
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Collei, evidently so tired of living such a torn life, gives up and offers her life to Kaeya just so that the torment can end, which stops Kaeya in his tracks, because that’s when she reminds him off himself just a little too much.
Kaeya, so caught up in her uncontrollable evil, forgets that she’s just a child, one who never should’ve been forced to deal with such a thing, and certainly not want to die because of it.
That’s exactly what happens internally to him, as well. Over the years, Kaeya internalized being a traitor so much, that often he convinces himself that he’s truly not a good person. Yes, he acknowledges that it’s really not his fault, but that still gets lost and it shows through when Kaeya shows us how willing he is to get himself harmed- because of his self hatred, he places so little value in his own wellbeing and his own life, because he thinks that all harm that comes to him is deserved and that it’s better off if he’s dead anyway so that he doesn’t have to deal with being torn apart every day.
No I’m not making this up, it’s in how he literally covers for Diluc all the time and risks himself in the process, and how Adelinde told us about that one time Kaeya literally took Diluc’s punishment for himself when they snuck into the wine cellars. There’s lots of times, even throughout in the game where Kaeya tries to convince us he’s not a good person- he quite literally says that, at some point.
Only when Collei shows that she’s in the exact same position does Kaeya realize what he’s doing and stops himself. Only then does he remember how painful and hard it really is, and he ends up helping to save Collei and removing her powers, because that’s one burden he can help take off, unlike his own.
Idk man for me the Kaeya vs Collei fight (I like to call it the chapter where collei gave us the hottest panel of Kaeya choking ever) told a story about Kaeya’s internalizations, too, and his own-self hatred and how deep it really goes. BRB CRYING
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makeste · 1 year
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[39 weeks later]
well all right then. I owe some explanations and some updates, so let's just get straight to that.
1. "what the hell, makeste. you can't just disappear for nine months and leave a sign on your blog that says "gone leavin'.'"
yeah I know. sorry guys.
so there are a lot of reasons for my long absence, but when you boil it all down, the essence is basically as follows: at its absolute max capacity, my ADHD brain is capable of keeping up with any two of the following: (1) work; (2) school; (3) tumblr. that's it. only two. no more and no less.
and for years this has not mattered at all because school was no longer in the picture! but as mentioned in my last two update posts, as of this past January, I had to start taking classes again for career advancement reasons, meaning my brain was quickly overloaded and something had to give. so yeah. I can assure you the past nine months have absolutely sucked and I am not AT ALL sure that it was worth it, but it is what it is.
I also want to add that I never intended to basically fall off the face of the earth anywhere near to this extent, let alone for this long. but in retrospect I probably should have seen it coming, seeing as this is not the first time it's happened, sob. and also in hindsight, towards the end of last year (during which I was already struggling to keep up with the weekly BnHA reactions) someone mentioned that it sounded like I was showing signs of being potentially close to burnout. turns out that observation was spot on lol.
so yeah. tl;dr, burnout + an obnoxiously busy real life schedule + a sprinkling of good old-fashioned ADHD "somehow I always underestimate how hard it is to restart something after taking a long break from it, and the longer I go without returning the worse it gets" brain shenanigans (more on that last part further down).
2. "MAKESTE. WHILE YOU WERE GONE, IN THE MANGA, THERE WAS A THING -- "
yes I have unfortunately been spoiled about The Thing.
3. "so wait, exactly how spoiled are you?? CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE THING"
I will make a separate post to talk about The Thing! I expect that many people will want to talk about this, and tbh I've really been wanting to talk about it too! I'm telling you, when I say the past nine months have sucked, I mean they have truly SUCKED, you guys. school is so fucking boring and I miss rambling about fandom stuff so fucking much.
anyway but with that said, ~*~PLEASE DO NOT TALK ABOUT ANY SPOILERS IN THIS POST~*~. I don't want to delete anybody's comments! but I will if necessary because I am a spoiler narc and I don't want to risk accidentally ruining stuff on the off chance that a non-spoiled person comes across this post. so yeah. however please do feel free to message me or comment in my other post (which I will link once it’s up; eta: here it is) if you do want to talk about The Thing.
4. "so aside from The Thing, are you otherwise caught up with the BnHA manga currently?"
so here's the hilarious part: no, I am not caught up. not even remotely. literally the last chapter of BnHA I read was chapter 339, which is the most recent chapter that I liveblogged, all the way back on December 31, 2021. I literally have not read a single new BnHA chapter in the year of our lord 2022 lol. :') basically for the same reasons I mentioned in my previous update post. tl;dr, reading/liveblogging a single new BnHA chapter is a minimum 4+ hour commitment for me, and by this point I have accrued a backlog of... oh sweet lord. 35 total chapters lol. so yeah. that's approximately 140 hours of catch-up that I need to do, which is paralyzing just to think about.
I do still plan on catching up, obviously! I'm just not sure how, lol. I may have some time to spare this weekend, so I might try to binge a few chapters and see how it goes. then I'll have to come up with some sort of sustainable posting schedule. I've been thinking about this for a while and I might try to do a Mon/Wed/Fri thing if I can swing it, but I don't want to commit to anything for sure yet until I see how those first few chapters go. fingers crossed, though.
anyway so I guess that's it. post is getting long. anything more will just be rambling.
sorry again, guys. how is everyone? what did I miss. aside from twitter dying and tumblr welcoming the refugees into our culture by inviting them to participate in the newly created fandom of a nonexistent 1970s mafia film.
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aforrestofstuff · 2 years
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Forrest's Expert Chapter Reviews (166): The Super-Duper Crying in the Bathtub Special Edition!!
Murata released a chapter today. People died.
(BTW there are webcomic spoilers in here so read at your own risk. Thanks! Please enjoy. You're required to by law.)
I just want everyone to know this chapter came out at like 9am (Yeehaw Standard Time) this morning; I was just getting through my routine, sitting down for breakfast. I heard the Discord notification on my phone. I got excited, looking to read this delightful manga with my Frosted Flakes, then I open to this fucking shit on the first page and I put my spoon down and had to sit there for ten fucking minutes to fight these demons.
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Hey dawg what the fuck haha
Okay sure, the adults can get a billion tumors in ten minutes and fall over and die but when it happens to the kids??? I dont like that!! I mean this in an affectionate "you broke my heart" sort of way, by the by. I like that the fandom-appointed dads were the first to drop down and help. I like that Zombieman canonically has stubby fucking hands. I like that we get this interaction between him and Isamu. It was painful to look at but I don't hate that it happened. Yep.
I'm gonna be real honest and admit my media illiteracy here, I thought the reason Saitama had a nosebleed in the last chapter was because Garou clocked his shit, and the reason Badd got his nosebleed was that, through a series of complex equations and reaches, Batarou is canon. However, none of those are true, and turns out they're all just getting super-duper radiation poisoning and I'm not sure Saitama's 3 years of working out made him immune to cancer but we'll see about that.
Side note: Badd is one of the only ones who felt the effects of the radiation before everyone else did. Badd also has "dynamic vision" and superb reflexes. You know that scene in Infinity War where, after the snap, Peter Parker can feel it long before he actually disappears due to his spider-sense? Where am I going with this.
Badd has spider sense babeyyy kachow !
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Side side note: You know who else felt the effects of the radiation before Saitama and Badd? That's right baby!
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"I can feel it in my skin" dawg that's the cancer LMAOOO
Side side side note: Now that we're on the topic of Zombieman (again), it makes sense that he's not immune to the radiation because it's probably killing his cells faster than he can regenerate. That, and he's fucking exhausted at this point. Still though... I'll bet he was the last one standing as all his coworkers collapsed around him. Reminds me of after-work parties at Applebee's haha kachow
I was right when I said Blast would come beat Garou's ass... but at what cost.
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Also, I thought he'd bring the Justice League but I guess they've got better fucking shit to do??? Than fight GOD??? LITERAL GOD?? Okay.
Also Bang telling God to give Garou back haha this is not a tear falling down my cheek it's just... spinal fluid...
So, Garou is definitely not being 100% controlled by God but he is being influenced in some capacity, so I can see this kinda growing into an intense fear/trauma of being manipulated/controlled in post-arc Garou. Especially during the neo-heroes arc when Suiryu attempts to capture him.
When Garou sobers after being beaten by Saitama and he sees what he’s done, it’s a mixed bag of emotions. We know he isolates himself post-arc--he already is in the manga with Tareo because he thinks the closer he gets to those he cares for, the more he’ll hurt them. With that being said, will he self-isolate in the manga because he becomes scared of himself? With all his introspection and meditating under waterfalls, will he come to think that all he does is hurt those he cares about? Will he think he doesn’t deserve to love anyone? Find out next time on Forrest Learns How to Read!
I love the idea of Garou spiraling into a self-loathing cocoon because seeing him in pain brings me joy and--yes, he's one of my favorite characters. Why do you ask?
. ok
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um. anyways.
haha cool
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oh. he's holding Genos' heart. 👍
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I'm on my knees praying for christ to strike me down right now.
Ok I'm done with this bit lmao I kinda wanted to build comedic suspense but I can't commit. I'm gonna write an essay on Genos' "death" now.
Really hard to believe he's actually dead and that's ONE's damn fault for faking us out at least twice before (Mumen Rider, Tanktop Master) so I'm not really feeling the suspense to this. ("durrrr but there's not gonna be suspense!! tHat'S wHaT sAiTaMA is FOr!!!" you Redditors are fucking dorks and I hate you.)
BUT. I could be wrong and if I am, feel free to send a dark web hitman my way and strike me down for good!
Regardless, if (when) Genos comes back, he's not gonna be the same. He shouldn't be the same because then what the fuck was all that for?? Anywho, I'm kinda feeling an amnesia storyline? Is he even going to remember this? Is he even going to--gasp--remember Saitama?
Half his fucking brain is gone. As far as we know, having his entire conscience saved to the cloud requires at LEAST 20$ of iCloud per month and we know Kuseno's cheap ass ain't gonna pay for that so, what's he gonna do? Make do, baby!
ONE loves his opposites, loves his narrative foils. Genos has been wanting to get closer to Saitama the entire manga and if the tables turn to Saitama wanting to get closer to Genos during his recovery, out of guilt, maybe, then I think that'll be really interesting. Genos and Garou have been mirroring each other in a lot of ways; I think they're going to have a similar "finding oneself" post-arc.
Either that or Genos is going to be like every upper-middle-class white guy's mystery Mercedes: perpetually "in the shop" until the end of time, dead but dreaming.
So, aside from that: Garou purposefully ripped Genos' heart out because he knew it would make Saitama get serious. Saitama then holds Genos' heart in one hand and beats Garou with the other........... Saigenos Fans please spare Batarou Nation some crumbs PLEASE we haven't eaten for WEEKS (good for you though).
In conclusion:
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I should've never learned how to fucking read.
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skye-huntress · 10 months
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Otherside Picnic Volume 8 Thoughts - Part 1
J-Novel Club released the first part of the English translation for Volume 8, and because I was impatient I thought, might as well subscribe and read as I go. It also helped that there was one other novel I wanted to read but that’s a potential topic for another time. Anyway, this volume will be split into nine parts so I’ll probably be doing this for a while.
For those not familiar with Otherside Picnic by Iori Miyazawa, I’m not sure how to accurately explain it. Two disaster lesbians with guns explore a parallel world of supernatural horrors like it’s their playground, at the risk of insanity, bodily mutation and death? There’s the novels, the manga and the anime, though for best experience, the novels are the way to go.
Spoilers are below the cut.
File 24: Mujina Attacks
1
With a title like “Accomplices No More” and that synopsis, I shouldn’t be surprised we’re starting off with the big question.
2
Toriko’s birthday is so close to mine, you’d think I’d have remembered. Also I’m reminded that Sorawa forgot about her own birthday but remembered the exact date she met Toriko almost a year later.
Speaking of their anniversary, it seems Sorawo is not completely dense after all! Yes, Toriko was hoping to get lucky with you, you idiot! But then you killed the mood by talking about murdering her ex.
Gifts for Toriko? What do you get for the girl who got you matching knives for Christmas?
I wasn’t expecting lingering trauma from that encounter last volume. That should be interesting going forward, seeing how physically affectionate Toriko is. On the one hand, I know Sorawo should tell her why she freaked out, but on the other hand, we really don’t want to repeat past mistakes by bringing her up again on their birthday date.
So we’re back to the question, how does Sorawo feel about Toriko? I think Toriko has been very patient and understanding with Sorawo, but this has been dragging on for a while. It’s past time that Sorawo put some serious thought into what Toriko means to her and what she wants their relationship to be like.
A week with no contact, though. Ordinarily, I’d say it is for the best, but these two can get sucked into some Otherside nonsense at any time and any place, even in their own homes. At least Sorawo has Akari check in with her on occassion, but as far as I know Toriko doesn’t have anyone in her everyday life to do that for her. At least not somebody who’d know to contact Kozakura or Sorawo.
3
It’s funny to think about how the cynical loner Sorawo is actually percieved as the cool kid in her class, contrary to how she thinks she is percieved.
The entire conversation with Benimori is easily the highlight of Part 1.
Let’s start with how she lead with the questioning. Even now, I’m not sure how I’d describe Toriko, especially if put on the spot like that, so I can empathise with Sorawo. Even so, Benimori was patient and took it one step at a time to get the most important and relevant information out of her.
The part about separating love, romance and sex, and the various assumed aspects is definitely something to think about, and very relevant for someone like Sorawo, or even me. For me, I think at some point I knew to view each of these things as separate, but I consider this a reminder that some people do view them as a package deal. It’s easier for me to think every relationship is unique than for me to remember that for some people being in a relationship means doing x, y and z.
My favourite part of the questioning was when she asked Sorawo if she could imagine bringing her partner to a love hotel. She did but nothing happened. “Your partner wasn’t disappointed, were they?” We all were!
There was another part though, when she brought up the eyepatch and wondering if this partner was abusive. I could understand the caution and was prepared to write it off, then I remembered how Toriko resolved the situation by slapping Sorawo in an attempt to “fix” her and then shoved her ghost finger into her eyeball. They’re both kind of messed up though, and they know and accept that about each other, so it’s probably just something they’ll need to work on in the future.
Also appreciate how until the end, Benimori stuck to the gender-neutral terms and avoid making any assumptions. Although, given Sorawo’s limited social circle and the fact that she made it clear her partner was someone she’s spent a fair amount of time with already, it probably wasn’t hard for her to guess who it was. Toriko has visited Sorawo at her uni a few times and she stands out a lot.
That’s it for Part 1. My guess is that Sorawo will ask Akari next, for no other reason than convenience. Maybe she’ll drag her beloved Nattsun into the conversation. Then I suppose it’s just Kozakura left. I can’t imagine Sorawo going to Migiwa, Runa or Kasumi for this.
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shinsouskitten · 3 years
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How they say 'I love you'
So uhm. Hi. Feel free to skip this part if you just wanna read, but I just thought I’d let you know I’m still alive ha. I have a habit of dipping entirely when things get hard (that's what she said) and I'm sorry. But I'm back. Maybe. Maybe not. I’ll try
Anyway, here’s some fluff for y’all. It’s long overdue
Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, (SPOILER WARNING FOR DABI MANGA STUFF), also, it got… spicy with Dabi (what did you expect?)
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⚡ Denki Kaminari:
Denki’s always been a flirt. He’s playful; it’s in his nature. He simply didn’t expect how hard he’d fall for you. When anyone else is around, he’s suave, funny, flirty. But with you? It’s almost the exact opposite. For the longest time you think he hates you. Why else would he immediately shut his mouth the second you enter a room? But the answer is simple. He doesn’t want to make a mistake, scare you away, make you uncomfortable with too many pick up lines.
Instead, Kaminari turns to one of the oldest inventions to remind you that he cares. Paper. Colorful sticky notes dotted on your desk when you walk into the classroom (no one knows how he manages to get them there before anyone sees - some think he begs Hagakure to help him, but they don’t care enough to ask).
A simple black heart on bright yellow paper taped to your door after a hard day of training. The smile it brings to your face is probably the best thing he’s seen all day (and yes, he was waiting around the corner for you to see it).
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💜 Hitoshi Shinsou:
Words are difficult for Shinsou. Most people ignore him when he talks, out of simple fear he’d activate his quirk at any given moment. He wouldn’t, but of course, teenagers aren’t exactly the most understanding (even in a world where people can defy gravity with their fingertips).You on the other hand, listened to him, paid attention, spoke to him like he wasn’t any different. Maybe that was what originally pulled him to you.
He’s head over heels, completely and utterly in adoration with you, but he fears you’d run for the hills if he blurted out that he loved you a mere month into dating you. Honestly he loved you before that, possibly before you even got together, but he’s not sure how to tell you. Does he just say it straight up or is that too forceful? Maybe he should wait until you’re ready to say it first, then he can take it at your pace. Yeah, that would be good.
In Hitoshi’s case, his love language turns to physical touch. The simple kind. He’s not about to make out with you in front of everyone (even though he kinda wants too), he just wants to be close to you. It’s the leg draped over your lap while sitting in the common room. It’s the ghost of a kiss to your temple after a rough day of training. It’s the curl of his pinky finger around yours as you sit in class, stares and judgy teenagers be damned.
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🐙 Tamaki Amajiki:
God I love this man so damn much.
Unlike most people, Tamaki finds it incredibly difficult to say those three words. If anyone reading this has dealt with anxiety you understand how hard it is to admit those things. But physical contact is also hard for him to come to grips with, especially in person. Being part of the Big Three warrants too much attention for Tamaki’s liking, but he powers through.
He clings, and I mean clings to you in public. In a way, you ground him. All he has to do is look in your eyes and the rest of the world melts away. He tries to do the same for you, to calm you down if a training session goes bad, or plead that Fatgum lets him leave early when Nejire texts him to say you were hurt by some random villain. It’s the price you pay as heroes that you can’t be with each other every second of every day, both of you know that.
So instead it’s silent cuddles in your room. He doesn’t need to talk to tell you he missed you, and especially not that he loves you. You know it in the way his arms coil around your waist, the way he buries his head in the crook of your neck, the way his breath catches when you run your fingers through his hair, and the sigh he can’t help but let out when you say you understand, that he doesn’t need to speak, that you already know.
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🧴 Tomura Shigaraki:
Crusty dusty mf.
He’s frustrating. So incredibly frustrating.
He keeps you off dangerous missions, tells you he needs someone back at base for some stupid reason. It’s stupid because he stays behind too, but you can’t be bothered to fight back. You know it’s pointless. He somehow convinces you to play a game with him, saying there’s no point in just sitting there bored until everyone else gets back.
You don’t play as often as he does, only really when the two of you are alone and bored, but somehow you keep winning. You chalk it up as him being distracted because of the mission, but it keeps happening, even on the rare occasions you play with everyone else there.
Little do you know, letting you win is Shigaraki’s way of trying to show love. He doesn’t understand enough about social interactions and courting to know how to care, so he does whatever he can. Even if it’s letting you win at a pointless video game just to see that slither of a smile on your face.
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💙🔥 Dabi/Touya Todoroki:
(If I just spoiled that for you. I’m sorry, but I did warn you)
Touya is… difficult to get along with. Add to that his daddy issues and trust issues, love is going to be a difficult thing for him to express. Your relationship didn’t begin as a typical one. A few too many drinks and a night in bed together change whatever friendship you had before to something else. You kept up with it. Why not? Both of you seem to be enjoying yourselves.
Friends with benefits doesn’t last long. He doesn’t know when it happens, but he finally realizes when you’re sleeping soundlessly next to him, bodies still slick with sweat; he loves you. And he’s terrified. He’s never loved anyone before, never cared so much. You can’t tell what’s different with him, but you know it’s something.
If he tells you he risks losing you, so he keeps it hidden, at least for the most part, but you notice the changes.
It’s the way he seems to cling to you a little too long. It’s how he practically demands you stay in his room afterwards, with a boring excuse of someone catching you and having to explain why you’re walking through the bar naked at 3am. It’s the way you wake up with your head on his chest, unsure how you managed to get there in your post-sex exhaustion. It’s how he always manages to snag the seat closest to you in meetings, and the way he actually growls if anyone looks at you too long.
If he can’t tell you that’s fine. He’ll just have to show you.
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touyasdoll · 3 years
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Complicated - Chapter Two
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Chapter One: Here
Pairing: Dabi/Touya Todoroki x reader
Warnings: self-degradation/self-doubt
Word count: 2.2k
A/n: Gonna rework this and ditch the first person POV, jsyk.
A/n pt. 2: This story does contain spoilers for the show/manga. The dates/ages of characters are going to be shifted around a bit.
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It's been two days. Is he gonna call? Text? Completely forget I exist?
I sigh, trying to expel the anxiety balled up in the pit of my stomach.
Why would he call? We talked for, what, five minutes? He seemed older too. You were in your damn school uniform, idiot. He's obviously got more important shit to do than chat up a schoolgirl who can't mind her own fucking business.
"Ugh," I groan to no one but myself in my apartment. "I'm really just the biggest fucking jackass, aren't I?"
Flopping down on my bed, I let out another weighty sigh and bury my face in the plethora of pillows piled beneath me.
Relax. Maybe he'll text. Maybe he won't. And if he doesn't he's just sparing you the embarrassment that you would inevitably bring upon yourself.
A yawn escapes my lips as I feel a wave of drowsiness wash over me. Glancing at the clock, I could see it was hardly 5 PM.
Fucked up sleep schedule, here I come.
The familiar comfort of my bed allows me to quiet my thoughts enough to fall into a shallow sleep, until I'm startled awake by a vibrating sensation coming from underneath my chin.
I blink against the harsh light emitting from my phone, squinting to see who was disturbing me.
What the--oh shit!
It was an unknown number. Recognizing that it could be him, I sit up faster than I have ever managed to after a nap and fumble the phone into my palm, eagerly sliding my thumb across the screen to accept the call.
"Hello?"
My breath hitches and I bite my lip in anticipation as I wait, eager to hear his deep, silky voice on the other end.
But the pause on the other side of the line seems just a little too long. Something is off.
Is this him? Is it..just some creep? A prank? What the hell?
"We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."
My eyes slam shut, a shake reverberating through my spine as a cocktail of anger and embarrassment wash over me.
That's it. Hope is off limits from now on.
"Fucking great."
I tap the end button, half ready to throw my phone out the window.
Instead, I decide to check and see if I missed anything else while I was out.
Hope is off limits.
I shake my head, trying to erase the little embers of hope that persist, praying that maybe he did reach out.
To my surprise, there's a text from an unrecognized number.
Unknown: You free tonight, doll?
Holy shit.
Looking above the message, I see: Today 6:58 PM. I wince as I dare to look at the clock, which mercifully reads 7:26 PM.
Tapping the text box, I don't give myself the chance to overthink this opportunity.
Me: For you? Sure thing.
Tossing my phone onto the bed, I nod my head, processing the sudden burst of confidence I seem to have found.
I'm not like this. What is it about this guy? He's just that--a guy. One that I don't know. And now I'm just gonna meet up with him?
He's literally a stranger. Who the hell do I think I am?? Is my vagina just running things now? Gonna run out and meet up with some strange dude, because he's pretty and charming?
You know who else was pretty and charming?? Ted Bundy.
That's right, you said it. This is dumb, logically. This is everything everyone’s ever warned you about.
My phone buzzes and my heart rate spikes in response, tearing me from my spiraling doubts.
Unknown: Our spot. 30 minutes. See you there.
A noise that I've certainly never made before eeks past my lips as I process his instructions.
Fuck it. The possibility of this guy being a serial killer has been assessed. I'm going, risks be damned.
You're an idiot. You're an idiot. You're an idiot.
I sigh for the umpteenth time today, waging war in my own mind.
I don't know what it is about him, but I have to see him again. Nothing bad is going to happen. It'll be fine.
That's what I tell myself as I exhale, until I catch my reflection.
My hair is disheveled, my mascara askew. I didn't even bother to take off my uniform before I passed out.
As if I weren't flustered enough, now I gotta make myself looking somewhere near presentable and get down there in time.
Here goes nothing.
Fifteen minutes fly by and I think I've managed it as I step back to look myself over in the mirror once more.
The shortest pair of high-waisted shorts I own, paired with a low-cut black crop top and my favorite slip-ons. My make-up doesn't look perfect and there's not much of it, but it's touched up, and my hair is at least brushed.
Okay, no turning back now.
Grabbing my keys, I tuck my phone in my back pocket and make my way to the meeting place.
+++++++++++++++
Our spot. The man is smooth and I think that he knows it.
I re-read the last message he sent for probably the thirteenth time in the past five minutes.
The clock in the corner of the screen reads 8:02.
Maybe he won’t show. Maybe this is a joke. He and his buddies with come around a corner and laugh as they speed off.
Damn, can I chill? No. He’s going to be here. And I’m going to act like a human fucking being. A normal girl. Someone he could like; I’m capable of that.
Aren’t I?
Scanning my surroundings yet again, I take in the scenery. I never really get out at night, but the city looks so pretty this way. There’s not too much traffic, especially considering that it’s a Friday night, but there are some people milling about up and down the sidewalk. Some look like they’re on their way home. Some look like they’re on their way out for a night on the town.
“Hey there.”
My eyes are quick to follow the sound of his voice. I look up and he’s strolling up to the bench where I’m seated, the same one where I bandaged his arm the other day.
His hands are shoved in his front pockets, thumbs pushed through the belt loops of the tight, black jeans he’s sporting. His white t-shirt dangles off of his frame in a way that suits him, offering a glimpse of his muscular chest. A black coat completes his ensemble and he certainly looks the part of the typical bad boy.
But, damn, does it look so good on him.
“Hey, there. How’s the arm?”
I scoot over a bit, allowing for ample space between us if he were to take a seat. To my surprise, he sits towards the middle of the bench, so that his thigh brushes against mine as he settles.
I tuck my hair behind my ear, glancing down and covering the noise I want to make with a quiet clearing of my throat.
“It’s good. You do make a pretty decent nurse, sweetheart.”
He grins and pulls his coat sleeve back, revealing the still bandaged wound.
“Wait, have you changed that?”
You’re such a mom. You better hope he’s into MILFs, because otherwise this ain’t gonna get you where you wanna go, girl.
His brow furrows in an expression that tells me all I need to know before he even speaks.
“What do you mean? Changed what?”
A quiet sigh leaves my lungs as I hold out my hand.
“May I?”
His puzzled expression doesn’t falter, but he shrugs and offers his forearm up for inspection.
Carefully, I pull back the tape holding the bandages together and slowly begin to unwrap them.
That is, until the smell hits me. I barely catch of glimpse of the reddened skin before my nostrils detect the scent of burned flesh and excess viscera.
“Oh, dear. Have you even unwrapped this thing?”
Trying not to agitate anything further, I delicately wrap the bandages back around his arm, taping them down once again.
“No, should I have?”
I look up and my gaze meets his, a sense of true ignorance evident in his expression; I try not to laugh. I really try, but a soft giggle escapes nonetheless.
“Yes! I mean, if it doesn’t hurt, I’m sure it’s not that bad right now, but you should be cleaning and redressing a wound like that once every 12 hours at the very least. It’s been what, like, at least 50 at this point?”
His good arm reaches for the back of his neck, scratching at it as he dons an apologetic half smile.
“Sorry, I’m not exactly nurturing by nature, doll. I don’t know the first fucking thing about this kind shit.”
I cock a sympathetic smile as I look at him, sitting there looking almost helpless. I guess he is, in a sense. It’s actually kinda cute how he doesn’t seem to have an inkling of how to properly care for himself.
Because that’s absolutely what you want in a potential relationship. Someone to fix, how fun! Why not open up a shop for broken boys? Girl, when will you learnnn??
“Well, I don’t have anything on me right now, but if you don’t mind coming back to my place, I could clean it up there? And I’ll teach you how to keep up with it this time.”
I guess not today, motherfucker.
“Coming to my rescue again. You must be in a hero course, huh, doll?”
His smile is so naturally disarming as he stands and offers his hand out before me.
“I don’t mind, if you’re sure you don’t. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable and I don’t wanna be a burden. I didn’t ask you out tonight for you to have to play doctor on me again.”
He seems so sweet, so genuine. Maybe he is broken, but everyone deserves kindness. He looks like he hasn’t seen much of that. And as cliché as it is, maybe I can help him. Maybe he can help me.
I slip my hand in his, smiling as flirtatiously as I can manage as he pulls me to my feet.
“I don’t mind. I was kind of hoping I might get to play doctor on you again anyway. Maybe you could even return the favor.”
I brush my fingers against his as our hands disconnect, taking a page from his own book and watching his expression as my skin glides against his.
Or maybe we could just do this. This works too. No muss, no fuss. But oh my goodness what if what I just did was weird and he’s not even interested??
His eyebrows rise for just a moment as he chuckles and glances down, still grinning as he puts his hands in his coat pockets.
“Well, sweetheart, I don’t know much about medicine, but I do know how to give a pretty thorough physical exam.”
Something twitched deep inside my belly as my breath caught in my throat and I damn near tripped over my own two feet as we started walking.
Thankfully, his reflexes were quicker than my inate ability to fuck things up and his good arm reached out to steady my frame as he stepped in front of me.
The delicious scent of his cologne mingling with remnant cigarette smoke nearly made me dizzy as my hands connected with his chest, now completely unable to ignore the muscles just beneath his thin shirt.
“You all right there, doll?”
Long, slender fingers find their way under my chin. His thumb just barely brushing the edge of my bottom lip as he strokes it over my chin.
His eyes are practically piercing mine as he carefully lifts my face to his. Who knew being in such close proximity to someone so beautiful could be this paralyzing.
Holy fuck. Forget fixing me. He can break me and I’ll probably thank him for it.
The strong hand on the small of my back threatens to rob me of my breath all over again and I have to fight to keep any semblance of composure in his arms.
“Yeah.” I tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear and will myself to break eye contact. “You always have girls falling for you this quickly?”
I pity laugh at my own joke, wishing my quirk was something that would allow me to disappear.
But then he’s chuckling too. It’s melodious at first, but then it morphs into a deep reverberation that sends all the right chills down my spine as I level my eyes with his again.
He looks like an enigma personified. His eyes look so gentle and warm, but his smile reads so sad. The words that leave his lips sound like both a warning and an invitation to my flushe red ears.
“Trust me, princess. You don’t wanna fall for me. I’m no good for you.”
Oh, but it’s too late for that.
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tundrainafrica · 3 years
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Hi, i saw some time ago you compared Royai to Levihan, would you mind elaborating more on their similarities? I ship both and looking at they compared blow my mind
YES. Beautiful ask anon! As always, sorry for only getting into this now, my inbox is still a mess I am currently trying to make sense of. But legit, I could talk about this for hours. Cause I’m that fucking simp who just randomly goes on Youtube and watches the Riza breakdown vs. Lust  scene just to see some GREATTT acting and some great crumbs. 
So anyway, will be moving on now to this really long and--mind you--uncurated rant. 
Disclaimer though: Although I have watched all the fullmetal stuff, from the first anime, to brotherhood to the manga and have lurked in the fanfiction sites long before (like fam, this anime is literally my childhood it’s such a big part of my life that when I hear ‘mustang’ I think of roy mustang not the car), but at this point, the main story line for me is a blur and I probably just remember only the Roy scenes and the Royai scenes well. 
I was not a big fan of Edwin for multiple reasons. 
Warning: Spoilers abound for FMA so read at your own risk. And for people who watch FMA but not AOT, spoilers abound for AOT is well.
So there are a lot of similarities between Levihan and Royai and I think this is the reason why Levihan definitely appealed to me a lot as a couple. Royai after all was my OG ‘I think I wanna be in this type of relationship’ type of couple. 
Military Setting
I’ve always found these types of relationships interesting cause I like to think, you’re in such a high stakes and very stringent atmosphere where you could die at any moment and you’re constantly doing such morally grey things. And with that, people have the tendency to either close in on themselves and just keep to themselves or just go crazy over time. Yet you have people who find the time to form CLOSE and almost ROMANTIC bonds with your fellow soldiers
And I just like the process of exploring how this happens. And you know what makes it juicier? 
    2. The commander to the subordinate dynamic (with a twist)
The boss to the follower dynamic because Royai and Levihan are both incredibly healthy and stable relationships but they both come from something taboo right? A commander to subordinate relationship? So we ask ourselves? How did they both make it work? 
Well, what I notice is despite the implied respect Riza and Levi both hold for Roy and Hange respectively, due to their positions in the military, do you notice Hange and Roy still have respect over Levi and Riza’s opinions. I cannot remember all the scenes in both shows but remember that scene where Riza would just stop Roy half way into fighting when it’s raining because sometimes he does forget that he can’t do his fire thing when it’s raining? It shows obviously that Riza could undermine his decisions if she finds them completely idiotic or out of the blue. Or that scene where Roy was curbstomping Envy when he found out Envy killed Hughes? 
So, the thing is Levi and Hange worked like this too. Even before Hange became commander, I think there was an already implied hierarchical difference between being ‘squad leader’ and being ‘team captain.’ Squad leader’s are generally in a higher position and command a much larger group and do you see how Levi approaches Hange? Like when telling her off about risking her life when trying to capture the titan? 
And even when she was commander, that telepathy scene?? Can we appreciate, that when Hange became commander (compared to when Erwin was commander), Levi took the reins of a lot of the leading in the survey corps, as if he understood his job wasn’t just to follow Hange but to take care of her? 
Like I’m sure Riza saw her job more as a caretaker to Roy more than his subordinate and seeing this in Levihan was just fantastic.
And another thing I love about both of them...
  3. They were just the two competent level headed people
This is such a trope for me. I cannot handle couples where someone is just not competent or is so obviously underpowered compared to the other. Like I want them to be able to handle themselves without the other. And even when they’re alone they’re doing shit and you just find out later, by the way I have this bf/gf/partner who is equally competent. But when we’re together we just share one brain cell because we can practically melt when we’re safe with the other. 
And the thing is since they’re in a military setting we don’t see them ‘practically melt,’ we can usually just pick out the crumbs (ehem 126), and the fact that these crumbs are such rare gems, makes it all the jucier. 
And here’s the thing, in animes and in stories, this ‘competent people’ couple is usually supporting cast cause I dunno? Nobody wants to hear about the competent couple who just figured out they like each other and they just like hanging out with each other for some reason? 
And most adventure stories are underdog stories where we watch people start of as dead weight and get stronger which is not boring per se but I dunno, these couples usually dont’ appeal to me fsr because I’m all for the power couple dynamic and the protagonists always have something going on making them doubt their strength so yeah.  And there’s usually this token love interest who’s not as strong and tries not to be useless but is kinda dead weight.
4. Their special abilities? 
Levi and Hange are a power couple the way Roy and Riza are. When these two couples were introduced into their respective stories, they were all well established as bad asses. We have humanity’s strongest, humanity’s smartest then in FMA we have the flame alchemist one of the strongest alchemists and we have Riza who’s crazy good with a gun. 
5. They were never that in your face couple
As said above, I really love competent people ships but nobody really likes reading about people being competent and having their level headed shit together so these characters end up with more of supporting character energy who have their ‘big damn heroes’ moments where they swoop in and save the protagonist. 
And the thing is, since they’re supporting characters, there’s so much more room to move when contemplating such couples because the crumbs are there? But at the same time they’re not there? And since I like exploring my own headcanons about those ‘boring’ yet incredibly stable and mature relationships, these tend to be my favorite characters to shoehorn into my spotify playlists.
Edwin and Eremika respectively have more ‘in your face’ crumbs and I dunno, their crumbs for me always seemed to be too obviously there where I was like ‘okay cute relationship’ but  ‘I wouldn’t wanna be in a relationship like that’  kinda way. 
And since main protagonist romantic subplots crumbs are already ‘in my face’ I end up thinking to myself, what’s there to headcanon?
And like they go through so much more problems romance wise since obviously they are the protagonist. But I guess for me, I never liked those couples who were so obviously together and go through problems that bystanders are aware of. Because I dunno, people might not agree with me but it doesn’t sit well with me when EVERYBODY knows about the problems between two certain people in a relationship. 
I always liked those couples who just start off as two people hanging out together and then like five years you find out, they live together and have five cats and it turns out they’ve been married for two of those three years. 
And power couples just make it work? Because the stories tend to focus on them being competent people more than being in love so when the coupling actually happens it’s like: 
“Wow you live together and have five cats, you worked so hard for it, I’m so happy for you.” 
Instead of you know, watching people go through like 3456 instances of miscommunication drama just to end up in a still seemingly doubtful relationship.
6. Iconic scenes for Levihan and Royai? 
And here’s the beautiful thing about the crumbs of both of these ships, they are incredibly apparent when the stakes are high and this is *chef’s kiss.* This is literally the climax, the peak to such subtle crumbs. Like okay, fine it’s satisfying to see the main protagonist and their main love interest doing shit and loving each other when the stakes are high like in Season 2 of AOT with Mikasa thinking she’s gonna die so she confesses to Eren or maybe that Naruto and HInata scene in the Pain Arc where Hinata just pops in and saves Naruto and kinda dies in the process
But can we all agree that there is something very very very satisfying about seeing two people who are probably not or are probably dating just going crazy for each other when the stakes are high? Like yo, come on. 
My favorite scenes for Royai: The Lust fight scene, the Envy fight scene and lastly, the scene where Roy opens the gates to save Riza and goes blind. Can we just appreciate the fact that Roy risked his Colonel dreams to save Riza by going blind??
And for Levihan? I’m sure Levihans are tired of hearing the chapter numbers but 115? That’s fucking iconic, Hange ltierally jumped into the river with Levi and please tell me that is not a parallel to Roy opening the gates for an already half dead Riza. Mind you, Hange did not even know if Levi would make it or not and she probably didn’t know if she would make it or not either. Any of the soldiers could have literally just shot into the river and nicked them with bullets.  She just literally abandoned everything and wooshed to the river. 
And I had this convo with a few other people and we were thinking about what if it was anyone else who found Levi. And we came to the conclusion that IT HAD TO BE HANGE. Because somehow, I feel like Hange would have been one of the only few, if not the only one who would have gathered up the courage to jump into the river and risk their own life to save Levi. 
And for the next part... Disclaimer: This is just my opinion, please let’s not start a ship war.
Like with the war on twitter “Levihan vs. Eruri,” I started to reflect as well on whether or not Erwin would have saved Levi if he was there instead of Hange but I think it is less likely that Erwin would have saved Levi. Erwin probably wouldn’t have agreed with the rumbling definitely but I cannot help but think, Erwin approached his commander position like a chess master and with this, approached Levi as a superior while Hange approached Levi as an equal and a best friend. 
So if, saving Erwin was just going to mess with plans let’s say to manipulate the Yaegerists for some greater purpose, would Erwin have just let Levi die? 
7. The magic is no one fits Roy or Riza perfectly.
I had these same thoughts with Shikatema vs. Levihan and now Royai vs. Levihan. So comparing their dynamics, I just have to say, that none of them fit each other perfectly. Hange has Riza and Roy crumbs and Levi has Riza and Roy crumbs too. 
Like Roy is some ridiculously strong (Levi) superior (Commander Hange) with a seemingly goofy personality (Hange). Riza is the subordinate (Levi) who’s equally reliable but not as overpowered (Hange) with a very strict but very obviously emotionally constipated personality (Levi) 
Like if you put Levihan in some of the token Royai moments. Like the Lust fight? I think Levi would have done something similar to Riza. Okay, he wouldn’t have broken down right then but he would have done something similar to what Roy did when he found out Envy killed Hughes. 
I’m convinced Hange would have had a breakdown which is more of an in between between what Roy (Envy fight) and Riza (Lust fight) had in their respective fights. I mean 115 is proof enough that Hange ain’t playing when her bebeluvs is in danger. 
8. And towards the end of the series?
Okay this is where the comparisons just kinda diverge because this part makes me sad. In the end game, Royai worked together. Riza became the eyes of Roy when he was making shit explode in the final battle coz he was blind. 
And Hange and Levi were completing each other towards the of the AOT end right? Not just with the jian bird references with having parallel injuries. In the final battle though when Levi was out of commission due to the explosion, Hange was the one fighting with the crew until 132. And the moment she died, Levi stepped up and fought right? 
Like they had something similar going on, where these two were covering for each other and taking care of the kids. It’s just that compared to Royai who were explicitly working together, we have Hange covering for Levi right after he got injured and Levi stepping up to cover for Hange after she died. 
AND I can’t help but think, literally post time skip just could not handle Levihan working together huh? Is that how competent Levi and Hange are as soldiers that Yams couldn’t let them work together just one last time? Like he knew it would mess with the story if he lets Levi and Hange lead at full power?
Which brings me to last point, and the point that makes me saddest.
9. About them being endgame? 
Okay, so it wasn’t confirmed that Roy and Riza ended up together because Roy still had his fuhrer goals but AT LEAST THEY HAD A CHANCE? Like their last scene in the show was still them together? And Riza still at least got to follow him? 
Levihan… They just… shit just happened and we all know what happened and now I’m reading fanfiction and crying over fcitoonal characters to pass the quarantine.
Anyway, if you reached this point, thank you for reading. And thank you for the question anon!
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vs-redemption · 3 years
Text
Crime is Common. Logic is Rare (Ch.27)
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Tension (HawksxGN!Reader)
Plot summary: As a quirk geneticist, you never really imagined yourself getting involved in hero work. Of course, you never imagined catching the eye of a pro hero either. What starts as a great career opportunity turns into a relationship built upon mutual secrets and trust.
Warnings:
⚠️This story contains spoilers from the manga.
⚠️Some events and plot points have been altered from the original manga
Tag List: @gayforkeigo @marshmallow-witch @redflannel @toyo-shiro @elsasshole @astronomyturtle @iambashfulperson @omiwashere
Next Chapter : Chapter Guide
Considering everything you and Hawks had to cope with as a new couple, the relationship itself had gone quite smoothly as far as you were concerned. There was a lot of pressure due to the secretive and dangerous nature of your jobs at present, but disagreements were few and far between, and you were both flexible enough to resolve issues quickly without much heartache. However, the time had finally come for you to butt heads in earnest, and as far as first fights went, you had to believe you both deserved awards for the amount of self-control exercised from both parties.
Neither one of you were allowed to raise your voice, not even on accident in the heat of the moment. Actually, neither of you were allowed to speak at all. You could only scribble back and forth aggressively to convey your feelings because the subject you were arguing over was something neither one of you should have a reason to be discussing in the first place.
That unfortunate topic was Dabi.
You had refused to accept the fire villain’s request for you to spy on your boyfriend, and Hawks was quite adamant that doing so had been the wrong decision. Obviously you understood his concerns about crossing someone as dangerous as Dabi, but as long as Shigaraki’s wellbeing was in your hands, you were fairly certain the villains would leave you basically unharmed. Besides, Hawks was the one who had been against you getting involved any deeper with the League in the first place.
‘He threatened you,’ Hawks scratches down on the paper you were using to have the conversation. This method of communication was becoming frustrating for the both of you, especially since finding time to be together was hard enough as it was without having to waste precious moments of it writing everything you needed to tell each other by hand.
Your eyes slide across the words and the tension that you’d being fighting back ever since the encounter with Dabi began nagging you more persistently in the back of your mind. You do your best to lock the feelings back down and then meet Hawks’ eyes while shrugging off his concern. Certainly, Dabi had threatened you, but your life had already been in danger from the moment Dr. Garaki showed you that he could synthesize Nomu DNA. It wasn’t easy living with that fear, but as long as you had the knowledge inside your brain of what the villains were doing, there would be the chance of them deciding to silence you by taking your life. Adding Dabi into the equation didn’t make that any more or less true.
‘Tell the doctor you’ve reconsidered the offer,’ Hawks aggressively adds a period at the end as if it would turn his words into more of a demand than a suggestion.
It didn’t matter whether he wanted you to do this for your own safety or because he really thought it was the best course of action. You still shake your head even though you hated to see the look of disappointment in his eyes over your answer. You just couldn’t bring yourself to risk it. The villains were already suspicious of your relationship with Hawks. Both Shigaraki and Dabi had brought up the strangeness of dating a hero while helping out the villains. They’d be stupid not to even consider the possibility that you knew about Hawks’ involvement with the league or that one, if not both, of you were playing the role of double agent.
‘Changing my mind now will only make things more complicated.’ You write down the words despite knowing Hawks was smart enough to have already thought of them himself. It was just like the times when you’d mysteriously passed out in Garaki’s lab and encountered Shigaraki for the very first time. Backing out or changing your mind at the wrong moment would send a message to the doctor and the villains. They would wonder who you’d been talking to, or what had transpired after the fact that had made you think twice and go back on things you’d said in the past. It was better to stick to your guns and continue playing the role of morally ambiguous scientist.
‘Not if the information you give them is valuable,’ Hawks counters with a serious look on his handsome face. He looks over at the news reporter rambling from your TV, probably jealous that they were able to talk so freely while he was reduced to passing notes with someone he cared about. He looks back down at the paper and adds, ‘You can give them my real name.’
Upon reading the words, something inside you suddenly snapped, and you fight off the urge to ball up the paper and chuck it at your boyfriend’s head. When you’d first asked him about his name, he’d insisted that ‘Hawks’ was his real name. He’d never explicitly told you that he’d lied back then, but he’d dropped plenty of not-so-subtle hints for you to figure it out on your own. So, it wasn’t so much the reveal that rubbed you the wrong way as it was the timing of it. You pull the paper towards you and pick up the pen.
‘Absolutely not!’ You write and then underline it twice before throwing the pen back down. Hawks looked shocked at your little outburst and slides the paper closer to himself to simply draw a question mark.
A sigh escapes your lips as you study the confusion in his golden eyes. Perhaps it had been a bit of an overreaction. Both you and Hawks had been so careful and logical about everything for so long that there was a certain intimacy missing in the relationship. You had been trying to cope with that fact as best you can, but something about learning his name this way hit you a little differently.
‘Sorry.’ You write the words slowly. ‘I don’t like the idea of finally learning your name just so that I can hand it over to Dabi.’ It made you feel vulnerable to make such a confession because it wasn’t like you to let your personal feelings affect your behavior so strongly. You wanted to be honest with him though, so that the lines of communication between you could be as open as possible.
Hawks reads over your words, features morphing from surprise into sadness as comprehension dawns on him. He meets your gaze before reaching out and pulling you firmly against him. You weren’t sure what to make of the reaction but you wrap your arms around him and bury your face into his chest.
“I never thought of it that way,” Hawks mumbles awkwardly and refuses to let you go for a moment. “You’re right though. It’s not fair.”
You push away from him to look at his face, feeling surprised that he’d even risk saying that out loud. It could probably be passed off as a comment about whatever the news reporter was still ranting about, but you put a finger to his lips to silence him anyway.
“Sorry,” he whispers against your skin.
“Shh!” You reprimand him before taking your finger away and replacing it with your lips, pressing a kiss to his mouth to show him everything was all right and that you weren’t upset with him. He relaxes right away and warps his arms more tightly around you to hold you closer. You had to pull away after a moment though because your time together was limited, and you’d yet to agree on a solution to your problem.
“I love you,” he tells you with a longing in his eyes that told you he hated the current situation just as much as you did.
“I love you too, bird-kun.” You smile while taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. He glances back down at the paper on the table and picks up the pen begrudgingly.
‘I’ll think of something else for you to tell him.’ He meets your eyes to see how you’d respond and is once again disappointed when you shake your head.
‘I won’t be the one to give him anything he can use against you.’ You write your reply.
“I appreciate the sentiment,” he smiles sadly before jotting down his response.
‘If you don’t cooperate, your life will be in danger once Shigaraki wakes up.’
Seeing the truth once again so plainly spelled out gave you pause, but you were determined to stick to the original plan the two of you had agreed to along with the Hero Commission.
‘That’s why we’re going to make sure to end this before that even happens.’ You scribble down the reply before clicking the pen closed. Hawks understood then that you weren’t going to be changing your mind. He sighs quietly and puts his hands up in surrender.
“Ok,” he tells you while glancing at the TV again to check the time. “I have to get back to my patrol soon.”
“I know,” you lean in and kiss him again on the cheek. “I wish we had more time.”
“Can I stop by after you get back from the lab?” he asks although he already knew your schedule.
“Sorry,” you frown. “I’ll be there late tonight. It would be better if you stop by in the morning.”
Hawks grimaced at the thought of you spending so many hours watching over Shigaraki’s unconscious body, but it was at least a little better than being involved with a fully awake Dabi. It was going to be so important for the Heroes to find a way to stop the villains before Shigaraki woke up. More lives than just your own would be in danger if they failed. You trusted Hawks though, and knew he and the commission would do everything they could to prevent the worst case scenario.
“You bet,” Hawks stands up from the couch and stretches his arms and wings as much as he could to prepare himself for his patrol. “Send me a text when you’re awake and I’ll bring coffee.”
“That would be much appreciated,” you smile as you watch him go to the door and pull on his boots and flight jacket. He gives you another quick peck on the lips, says his goodbyes, and before you know it he’s taking off into the sky.
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mizumelona · 4 years
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set me up | atsumu x reader
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SYNOPSIS: You’re an ambitious career woman, who’s got everything…except a significant other. Your mom, sick of you showing up to family functions alone, sets you up on a series of (terrible) blind dates. You make these dates meet you at your favorite restaurant, Onigiri Miya, but for some reason the owner’s jerk of a twin brother always happens to be there exactly when things crash and burn.
NOTE: This chapter is dedicated to my lovely friend Sharon who encouraged me to start this blog and helps me with my writing. @Sharon I kept my promise hehe.
MASTERLIST
PREV | WFH 1 - THE TRUCE | NEXT
TAGLIST: @awkwardali6106 @kasandrafaye @veggytaled @svtbitch @stinkyobeymerat @hollypastl @differentballooncollection @o51oc @sunboikyo00 @justxanotherxshipper​ @kaisemieita @rizamendoza808 @tomo-uwu @sugardaddykenma​
~
You tossed Atsumu’s sweater into the washer with your other juice covered clothes and made your way to your bedroom. You picked up your phone to text your mom.
Lovely Daughter:
I think I need to take a break from these dates
You still wanted to find a boyfriend and flex on your cousin, but this blind dating thing wasn’t exactly working out. You cringed remembering that your favorite cream shorts might be ruined for good. Taking a step back seemed like a good choice for now. Maybe you’d spontaneously run into someone worth your time. Blonde hair and a cheeky smirk flashed in your mind.
Huh. What was that? You shook your head. That was definitely not happening.
As you finished sending the message you got another notification.
Boss:
Reminder that our team is working from home this week while they replace the carpets in the office. Can you send me the updated prototype of your project by Friday morning?
Ugh. Working from home was bad news for you. Despite being an overachiever, your home was a safe oasis that was completely separated from your work life. When it came to trying to work while your favorite blanket and TV were 2 feet away, you had no self-control. You tried to look on the bright side. Who knows? Maybe this is the week you learned a little self-control.
~
Onigiri Miya. Thursday 6:27 PM
It wasn’t.
You had plenty of inspiration on Monday but took a break to watch one episode of your favorite sports anime and ended up binging the next two seasons. Tuesday you’d pulled up the files you needed to work on but you saw a manga spoiler while browsing Instagram and decided to binge the manga too. Yesterday you were shook about the most recent cliffhanger and got carried away reading fan fiction. It wasn’t until 5 PM that you realized that the prototype was due in a day but by then you were already fucked.
Cut to you grinding like crazy for the past 24 hours. You’d pulled an all-nighter last night except for 20 minutes at 5 in the morning when you crashed and knocked out on your keyboard. When you woke up there was an imprint of the spacebar on your chin. Finally you had most of the prototype completed, so you were crawling out of your cave for some food.
Sweats, glasses, hair messily pulled away from your face. You haggardly stumbled toward the restaurant. You’d exhausted your instant noodle supplies and had been so focused on finishing the damn prototype that you didn’t stop to eat today. You were pretty sure you were going to pass out if you didn’t get some food in your body ASAP.
You pushed the door to the restaurant open.
“Welcom- woah [Y/N]…you doing okay?”, Osamu paused mid rice ball roll and looked you up and down.
“Holy shit ya look like a zombie!”, Atsumu exclaimed from his usual seat at the bar.
You ignored Atsumu’s comment. You had no energy left for making snarky comebacks. “Osamu. Three Minced tuna onigiri and an iced Calpico please and thank you.”
“Sure…”, Osamu gave you a concerned look before turning to get started on your order.
You dumped your things onto an open table and sunk into the seat. You flipped open the laptop that you’d brought with you and started tapping on the keys. There was a big fat error alert on the screen. Great. You tried to edit the file. Another error. Ugh you were so close it was frustrating. You typed a few more edits in. Success! Loading…
Finally. You leaned back into the chair, staring at the ceiling. You heard some familiar footsteps approaching you. Here he comes.
On cue, Atsumu slid into the seat across from you. “Yo what happened?”
“I’m an idiot. That’s what happened.” You closed your eyes and massaged your temples. Your head was aching from staring at the screen for so long.
He snorted. “I know a lotta idiots but you aren’t one of them” He peeked over at your screen. “What’s with the laptop? This isn’t a coffeeshop sweetheart”
“Work.” You bluntly replied. You scrunched up your face. Sure his voice was smooth as ever, but right now anything but complete silence was making your head pound.
“You’re in a good mood aintcha?” He smirked. You glowered in his direction, your dark circles making you look extra ominous.
“Stop irritating my customers ‘Tsumu” Osamu smoothly shut Atsumu down. He placed a tray of food on the table. “I got three minced tuna onigiri and an iced Calpico”
“Bring me a drink too ‘Samu”
“Get it yourself ’Tsumu”
An upbeat ringtone started playing from Osamu’s pocket. He pulled his phone out and took the call. “Hey babe…I’m just at the restaurant…no, it’s not that busy…wait…what!” Osamu raised his eyebrows.”…Okay yeah I’ll be right there.” He turned to Atsumu. “‘Tsumu close the restaurant. I need to go help Sharon”
“Huh? Ya can’t just-“, Atsumu tried to protest, but Osamu took his Onigiri Miya hat off and shoved it on Atsumu’s head. Osamu scrawled a note about closing early and taped it to the door on his way out. Atsumu stood there looking irritated as he watched his brother run off through the window.
He turned to you. “Well ya heard him. You’re gonna hafta take your rice balls and work home sweetheart”
Wait. You checked your screen. 15%. Rip. Starting the process while you ate dinner probably wasn’t the best idea, but you needed this to finish loading and couldn’t risk it getting messed up on the trip back up to your apartment. You turned to Atsumu, “I’m sorry about earlier. Please let me stay a little longer. I really need this thing to finish loading”
“No way”
“It’ll only take a second” You pleaded with him. He turned to walk away. “Please. Atsumu”
He paused. Wait, was that the first time you’d called him by his real name? He turned back to you with that devious smile he got whenever he had one of his “brilliant” ideas.
“How ‘bout this? You help me clean, I’ll letcha stay here even though I really should be closing up”
“Deal”
~
Onigiri Miya. 45 Minutes Later.
“I’m pretty sure when we made our deal you said it would take ‘just a second’”. The bashful smile from earlier had long been wiped off his face replaced with the current impatient scowl. You’d finished eating your onigiri shortly after Osamu left, and you two had been sitting at the same table sipping Calpico and watching the loading bar for the last 45 minutes.
“It’s really almost done now.” You were running out of excuses to stall for time.
“Hurry it up. I got things to do sweetheart”, he said and took a noisy sip of his drink.
Okay [y/n] we need to think of a way to stall. You went through your options. Hm. Actually, complimenting people usually works pretty well, especially when that person has as big of an ego as this blondie. Okay you decided on your plan of attack.
“Hey” You smiled innocently at Atsumu. “Thanks again for waiting with me. You’re a lot nicer than I thought”
“How many times do I hafta tell ya that that creepy smile isn’t fooling me?” Atsumu set his drink back on the table. “And was that supposta be a compliment? When did I ever do anythin’ to piss you off?” He leaned back, crossing his arms.
“Says the guy who crashed not one but two of my dates”
“I didn’t do nothin’”
“You were the reason the strawberry juice was on the table to begin with”
“I’m also the reason why you’re still here even though I could’ve kicked you out an hour ago.”
You couldn’t argue with that.
“Touche” You leaned forward. “How about we call a truce then.” You held out your hand.
He looked at your hand skeptically. “Truce? That implies we were fightin’ in the first place”
“You gonna take it or not?”, You smiled slyly and waved your hand. “Let me tell you now. I’m not someone you want as an enemy”
“Jeez that’s pretty scary sweetheart.” He leaned forward with his trademark cheeky grin…and was he blushing a bit? “Fine. Truce.” He reached out to shake your hand.
“I know the perfect way to celebrate” He said, rising from his seat. He walked behind the counter and rustled around in the fridge. You heard him mutter, “Where did ‘Samu put it”, as he continued digging around. “Aha. Here it is!”, he declared, finding whatever he was looking for. Atsumu walked back and plopped down in his seat, setting two cups of pudding on the table.
“Haha. Nice.” You picked up one of the pudding cups but noticed a little note stuck to it. “Huh. What’s this?” You pulled off the note to read it. Osamu’s pudding: DO NOT EAT. “Wait a second we can’t-“
Atsumu took the container out of your hands, broke the seal on the cover, and handed it back.
“Atsumu!”, you exclaimed.
“You’re welcome.” He opened his pudding cup and shoveled a spoonful in his mouth. “Mmm”
Well it’s not like you could put it back now that it was opened. You scooped a spoonful into your mouth. Your face lit up. Osamu’s pudding preferences were on point.
“I have a question”, Atsumu asked. “Why were ya tryin’ so hard on those dates anyways? Those guys were obviously trash, and ya don’t really seem like the type that’s desperate for romance.”
What he said wasn’t wrong, and you two were kind of having a moment here. You figured it’d be fine to tell him about it.
“Ugh the thing is” You gulped down another spoon of pudding. “I’m trying to prove something to my family”
“Huh?”
“They don’t think I’m capable of romance, and my shitty cousin loves to rub it in my face. I’m trying to find a guy so I can flex on them”
He smirked. “Hah, that’s real petty”
You pointed your spoon at him. “I don’t wanna hear that from you.”
“Fair point”
Your computer chimed. You both turned to look at the screen. 100% Loaded.
“Yes!” You pumped your fists.
“Finally” Atsumu sighed, scraping the last of his pudding out of the cup. “So, ya gonna help me clean?”
“A deals a deal. Where should I start?”, you said combing your hair out of your face.
“I’ll take the tables. You’re on dish duty”
Atsumu went into the supply closet and came back with a rag. You caught yourself staring as he pushed his sleeves up. Okay the man had beautiful forearms, so what? You quickly looked away.
“You okay [y/n]?”, Atsumu interrupted your thoughts, cocking his head. Shit. You hoped he hadn’t noticed your little slip-up.
“Uh yeah! I got the dishes!”
~
You’d emailed the final prototype and you two were almost done tidying up. The only thing left to do was mopping the floor.
“[Y/N], How about we have a lil challenge”
You raised an eyebrow.
Atsumu brought two mops out of the supply closet, tossing one to you. “I’ll race ya. Last one to mop to the other side loses”
This was stupid there was no way you were about to have a dumb mopping ra-
“Unless you’re too scared”
You gripped your weapon. “Hah, You’re on”
You both stood at one end of the restaurant. Mops in hand.
“Ready” Atsumu clenched his mop. “Go!”
You realized that challenging a pro-athlete to a fair race was stupid. That’s why you didn’t intend to play fair. As soon as Atsumu motioned to take his first step you swiped your dripping mop in front of his foot. He lost his balance.
“Fuck!”
“Haha Loser!”, you turned to laugh at him. Thwack!
Atsumu collided with you knocking you backward. You hit the ground with a thud, securely pinned under him. Shit. He hauled himself onto his hands and knees, looking down at you.
“You cheated!”, he shouted.
“That doesn’t give you the right to tackle me!”, you shot back.
“I wasn’t tryin’ to tackle you!”
“So what!”, you grabbed his collar pulling him back so your foreheads were touching. You both paused. Shit. Did you just do something weird?
You were suddenly very aware of the nice smell wafting off his hair. You gulped. There was a pink blush creeping over Atsumu’s nose. He looked dumbstruck at first but soon a cheeky grin spread across his face.
“Wow [y/n], you’re pretty bold huh.”
“Shut up!”
The chimes jingled and the door opened. You both jumped and turned to the sound.
“Oolala”, the girl who came with Osamu was snickering.
“…is that my pudding?”
~
After that, you’d both apologized to Osamu, properly mopped the floor. You were getting ready to go home now. Luckily neither of you had been seriously injured in your little incident, but any time your eyes met Atsumu would shoot you an infuriating smirk.
As you were about to leave, Atsumu called out to you. “Hey [y/n] I’m gonna need my sweater back soon”
“Oh right! I forgot it at my apartment but I washed it so I’ll bring it by tomorrow”
“Sounds good. Good night [y/n].” As he turned to walk away, he looked back over his shoulder and smiled at you. It was a sincere smile like the one he gave you as he handed you his sweater the other day. You couldn’t help but smile back. This guy.
Your phone buzzed as you started walking back toward your apartment. You pulled it out.
Jerk Cousin:
Family brunch two Sundays from now. Don’t forget you’re in charge of fruit. My mom told me to remind you. She also said to tell you that you can bring a plus one, not that you’d need it lol
~
Onigiri Miya. Friday 11:15 AM
You’d slept like a baby that night, and woke up more refreshed than ever. It was like your 24 hours of hell never happened. You pulled open the door to the restaurant.
“Hey Osamu is Atsumu here? I have the sweater I kept forgetting in my apartment” You rustled through your bag pulling the sweater out. Looking up, you suddenly noticed that the restaurant was more packed than usual, and most of the occupants were looking at you.
“Oya?”
“Oya oya?”
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migila · 3 years
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Sakura’s Story: Love Riding the Spring Breeze
I just finished the novel and I know it’s not exactly new, being written in 2015 and all, but in case someone who hasn’t read it yet doesn’t want spoilers, I’ll warn you that this post will contain some.
First, I’m not all that happy how much it focuses on romance (read: Sakura crying after Sasuke), but considering it was Sakura’s novel, it is very in character for her to think about him a lot. After all, in the original story, Sakura’s thoughts are very Sasuke centered when the man is brought up. With that said, points for keeping the main character in character (assuming Ohsaki Tomohito had a big part in writing this along with Kishimoto; I’m not sure how this co-writing works. Did he write the whole novel, only using Kishimoto’s world and characters, or did he consult the man?) Still, romance as a theme lingers there the whole time. Ino and Sai’s relationship acts a relevant part in it, there’s some NaruHina and even Chouji having dates with Karui is mentioned. This wouldn’t bother me otherwise, but Shikamaru’s story didn’t really have this kind of weight on romance, just deep things being implied, and this kind of makes me think romance was given a big role simply because the main character is a woman. Of course, the fact that the main character was Sakura, a character who puts a lot of weight on romance in the actual story, somewhat justifies it; if it had been Temari’s story and so romance focused, it would’ve just come across as sexist ‘cause it would’ve been so out of character. But still, it gave off a bit of a bad taste.
Speaking of sexism, Shikamaru seemed to have a bigger role in fights and planning in his story than Sakura did in her own. Of course, that could be explained by saying that Shikamaru is a genius who’s always making plans while Sakura’s not, but still, it kinda gave of the air that you can’t leave the important battles and plans to a woman. Again, one could argue that Sakura was busy with the hospital and that’s why Sai was used instead, but... sour taste. Just a bit. Still, this ended better than I expected at first though since not only did Sakura bring down the main villain, on her own I might add, but the main villain’s right hand was also taken down by Sai and Ino, with Ino’s plan. So, all in all, it went well for a novel made based on a shounen manga.
And now, I want to talk about the main villain, Kido Tsumiki. His backstory is a bit tragic, rather cliche but still tragic, yet it really made me think about Konoha’s shinobi education system. Kido’s dad was also a shinobi, it was mentioned that he took more missions to get more money, and he stopped buying the medicine he needed so that he could afford to send his son to the shinobi academy. In other words, he stopped taking a possibly life saving medication just to send his son to a school that would prepare him for a very dangerous profession where he would be very likely to die on job. And since it was mentioned at the beginning that Kido was around Kakashi’s age, that meant that he went to the academy in times of war, which made him dying young on the job even more likely. And that’s just weird; why did Kido’s father send his son to such a place at the risk of his own life? Would a child of a shinobi be shunned if he didn’t go to the academy? Or was the man so brainwashed by the village that he saw no problem in his son possibly dying at young age for the sake of the village? I wouldn’t put either of these past Konoha. Anyway, I always assumed that the shinobi academy would be free since kids from important clans, like Hyuuga and Uchiha, to no name families like Haruno, and even an orphan like Naruto went there. I thought it’d be financed by the village that exists for the sake of bringing up and employing the shinobi, but no, looks like it’s “give us money so that you can send your child in to a school that teaches them a very dangerous profession that is likely to get them killed” -kind of thing.
As for the children’s therapy centers, the villages really need those. They’d need ones for adults too, but this is a good start. This novel is the only one where I can recall them talking about some kind of mental therapy; the only therapy I noticed in canon was the physical kind. And that’s a big mistake; we’re talking about people who, if given the order, hurt and kill people from very young age. They should have regular mental health check ups for god’s sake!
For the story as a whole, it was decent. The plot was rather predictable, but it flowed well and I didn’t really spot any plot holes. The only real surprise for me in this book was that, while Sasuke appeared to take down the anbu, he also left before he could actually be seen in the story. Very in character, but I thought that this novel would put some more light on how SasuSaku really became a thing, but guess not.
P.S: At least in the edition I have, Sakura and Sasuke’s names are mixed up many times. One or two times I’d probably just overlook it, but it happened often. How the same mistake got through proofreading so many times is beyond me.
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kinkyacademia · 5 years
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Rules
Here they are! I know I recently answered an ask about our Rules/Guidelines but I hadn’t had the chance to update the Rules on the Blog yet. These Rules below are the new and updated Rules. These are our expectations of the people who follow out Blog but also to Rules that we as the Mods follow when responding to requests or questions. I hope these are good enough for all of you and that you can all respect them properly.
COMMON RULES
~ This is an 18+ Blog! There is no exception to this, almost everything we write here will contain sexual content in some way. This is not a place for Minors and as such, they should take care as to avoid our page. We make no apologies to those who stumble onto our Blog and are offended to find the content is nasty, kinky material because we make it very clear this is an 18+ Blog and no place for children!
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~ There is a limit to three characters per every headcanons request that is sent in, this is to ensure the response doesn’t become too long or too repetitive as it tends to do.
~ We do not judge people for their kinks that they may ask of us here or the type of request they may send in, hell, we’re a bunch of perverse people anyways so we’ve probably seen worse. As much as we have nothing against generic requests, we tend to find it hard to work with them as there isn’t much to work with. We are only human after all and unfortunately that means that even we have limits to our imagination. Here is an example of what not to send in: “Can I get sfw and nsfw hc’s for (Character).” Instead trying adding a bit of detail about what you would like the headcanons to be about for example: “Can I get some hc’s for (Character) where they punish S/O after they’ve been cheeky towards them?” It’s nice and simple, but not too simple and there is plenty of room for us to expand on it. Please don’t go overboard though, there is no point sending us in a break down of the whole story and expecting us to expand on it, it’s just impossible as there is nothing left to work with; such requests will be automatically rejected.
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~ Hell, to the Heck NO! We will not under any circumstances write for Mineta or Endeavour here on this Blog, those characters are taboo here and are not talked about! There are several subjects that we as a whole refuse to write for, under no circumstances will we EVER write for Paedophilia or anything else that contains/involves underage sexual conduct. To elaborate of that, we will not write for situations where reader has been exposed to sexual situations as a child or anything else a child shouldn’t have to endure, that sort of thing is not tolerated here! We do not take student x teacher requests here either. The exception to that being if the reader is the teacher in their early years and the students in their last year of school!
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~ Reading the Mods Do’s and Don’ts before sending in asks is important, that information can be found in the Mods section on the blog, Mobile Users will have to search for the #mods in order to find this information. Any request that breaches a Mods Do’s and Don’ts will be deleted.
~ We reserve the right to delete any and all requests that we don’t exactly feel comfortable writing for, even if it’s not precisely breaching any rules. For instance, some Mods my be more open to writing extreme kinks or certain scenarios than others.
~ Anonymity is a privilege and one that can be revoked at any stage! Being snarky or rude to the Mods of this blog will result in the ability to send in Asks on Anonymous being removed. This is usually something we only do for a short period of time before restoring it but it can become permanent should problems be recurring.
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makeste · 4 years
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BnHA Chapter 282: Aizawa Defeeted
Previously on BnHA: Oh my god do we even care about that at this point. Tomura made a speech; Gran Torino died; Deku lost his shit and tried to strangle Tomura to death with his bare hands; Ryuukyuu came back from Wherever She Was and tried to grab Tomura but he punched a hole through her giant hand; and now he’s grabbing his Quirk-Be-Gone bullets and is ready to cause some mayhem okay?? That about sum it up?? Is anyone even reading this?? CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH IT I’VE WAITED AN ENTIRE WEEK.
Today on BnHA: Well I guess let’s start with what doesn’t happen: Bakugou doesn’t lose his quirk. HE LUCKED OUT!!... for now, anyways. Because, thanks to a near-impossible-to-predict series of events (seriously, raise your hands if you had “Aizawa gets shot but goes full World War Z on his own ass” on your bingo card), Tomura has seemingly regained his regeneration powers, which means that his other quirks are probably back online as well! So we’ll see how that all goes. Anyway so in the meantime Shouto’s back, looking very mad that everyone temporarily forgot he was a main character. And Gigantomachia is back as well! Or almost, anyway. Also, you’ll never guess who broke another one of his arms! Go on, guess. But at least he still has the arm, though, which is more than we can say for certain other people’s limbs. Poor Aizawa is literally on his last leg. He and Tomura really got off on the wrong foot. He chopped his leg off, is what I’m saying. It’s that kind of chapter folks.
you guys I’m losing my whole fucking mind. I straight up deleted the tumblr app off my phone for 24 hours so that I wouldn’t be tempted to log in and risk potentially being spoiled. and I’m happy to say that it worked! so here we are now, completely spoiler free, and let me just say that if Horikoshi decides to cut back to Gunga Mountain now, I will either cry for hours or abandon the series forever and go do something more productive with the rest of my quarantine like learning how to play sad songs on the guitar
all right. here goes
so we’re opening with Deku, who is currently comprised of 100% rage and 0% mercy, and is doing that thing where only the whites of his eyes are visible. and basically he’s just thinking “I’VE REALLY GOT TO HOLD ON TO THIS GUY AND MAKE SURE HE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING ELSE HOMICIDAL.” which is a solid game plan, but perhaps not so easily accomplished
-- oh my god this poor kid is still in denial, I can’t. why are you doing this
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is there even still a Gran Torino to tend to at this point? after Tomura bulldozed a hole through his torso, and you went and finished the job with your own fucking attack? sob
but I guess the law of Tragic Shounen Mentor Deaths mandates that Gran’s should be at least as drawn-out as Nighteye’s was, though. so he’s probably only Mostly Dead, which is still Slightly Alive if I remember my Princess Bride correctly, and I think I do
so now the rest of these stooges are finally catching up with us here
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yes, my friends. a bullet. WELCOME TO MY LIFE FOR THE PAST FUCKING WEEK. anyways I have a LOT of pent-up energy here just fyi. there may be a lot of unnecessary screaming in this recap
FUCKING WYOMING SMASH Y’ALLSSSS
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I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT JUST HAPPENED SOB. DID HE JUST HAMMER FIST TOMURA’S HEAD INTO THE GROUND. DID HE SNAP HIS FUCKING NECK AT 100%. IN AN IDEAL WORLD HE WOULD HAVE JUST CHOPPED TOMURA’S ARMS OFF WHILE SOMEHOW MANAGING TO AVOID BREAKING ANY OF HIS OWN BONES IN THE PROCESS, BUT I HAVE A FEELING THIS SITUATION WILL NOT BE RESOLVED IN ANY KIND OF MANNER ONE WOULD CONSIDER “IDEAL”
(ETA: fun fact: this attack did absolutely nothing except make things approximately 100x worse. but you tried Deku. you tried.)
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THE FUCK KIND OF PORTENTOUS BULLSHITTING TITLE IS THIS. OH MY GOD, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT EMOTION I’M HAVING RIGHT NOW, IT’S JUST A LOT OF LOUD THOUGHTS
anyway so if you’re just joining us, Tomura just pulled two bullets out of his pocket, the good guys finally noticed, and then Deku did a smash and everything exploded. the radius of this attack actually looks wide enough to have potentially involved Aizawa, who probably does NOT want to get any debris in his eyes right now, and also Gran, who probably doesn’t particularly want to be hit by another deadly attack for the third time in the past ninety seconds. anyway so I guess what I’m trying to say here is WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT YOU LITTLE GREEN LUNATIC
AHHHHHH
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he got the one!! the one that was in Tomura’s right hand!! but what about the one in his left ahhhhhhh
(ETA: lmao at Kacchan being the one to blow up the same bullet I was so sure he was going to be shot with. saw the writing on the wall, huh kid? what do we say to the god of foreshadowing?? ‘NOT TODAY.’ ...except that we’re still not actually out of the woods yet so you still better watch yourself lol.)
...
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based on the font here, these are Tomura’s thoughts. which he is thinking immediately after getting the lower half of his jaw very painfully cronched by the VERY homicidal sixteen-year-old still clinging to him. anyway so Tomura’s thought processes are as inscrutable to me as ever lulz
and Deku’s arm looks broken again, yaaaaay. but at least it’s his left arm and not his right! so that’s nice. now they can match
[SHRIEKS]
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HE YEETED IT. IT HAS BEEN YEETEDED. HE DID A YEET. [sobbing] he DiD a YeEt oH my GOD
DID IT HIT SOMETHING!?!?!?
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my reading process here is as follows: 1) scroll down exactly one panel. 2) scream even though absolutely nothing has happened yet. 3) WRITE THAT DOWN 4) REPEAT
DKSFJLKHSDLGKHLI
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DID IT HIT HIM!?!? DID IT GET HIM IN THE LEG SOB ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. JUST LIKE THAT?? BOOM GUN BULLET LEG!!?
YOU GUYS IT REALLY HIT AIZAWA AND NO ONE DID A GODDAMN THING?? it wasn’t even drawn out or anything??? it just HAPPENED, within like four pages??? NO SLOW MO?? NOT EVEN A REACTION PANEL WHAT THE FUCK
son of a bitch I would so dearly like to grab Manual and RockLockRock’s heads right now and just conk them together real hard. YOU STUPID FUCKS sob YOU HAD ONE JOB!!! IT REALLY WAS JUST ONE!! AND YOU WERE SHARING IT!! SO IT’S MORE LIKE HALF A JOB!! AND YOU STILL COCKED IT UP IN ABSOLUTELY NO TIME AT ALL OH MY GOD
(ETA: they should blow this panel up and make it into a t-shirt and make Manual and RLR wear the shirts every day for the rest of their lives. half a job, you guys. please go away I cannot even look at you right now.)
FUCK MY EVERYTHING
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(ETA: I still can’t figure out if this horrific angle is due to the earlier damage from the Noumu, or if Tomura really just flung the bullet THAT hard. honestly I’m surprised it didn’t just slice right through him with that kind of velocity. “no thanks because then I wouldn’t get to write a scene where he chops his own leg off” oh okay well when you put it that way, Horikoshi.)
if I recall correctly this is the leg that he said was “twisted”, no? yeesh. might just want to chop it off real quick, then. s’not like it’s doing you any more good. does anyone know if zombie rules apply or not with this sort of thing?? shit
?!?!
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“THANKS”?? okay what. did it hit him or not??
-- oh my god WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT
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I WAS -- I WAS JOKING I -- FFFFFFFFKJK
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jesus fucking christ. when I said “might just want to chop it off real quick” literally FOUR PARAGRAPHS AGO, I can tell you that the one thing I did NOT expect was for Aizawa to be all, “you know what, that’s a good idea”, and then YOINK OUT HIS TRUSTY HERO SHANK AND GO FULL 127 HOURS ON THIS BITCH. "LALALA WE’RE GONNA DO IT RATIONALLY TEEHEE” like excuse me, the fuck
anyways. I don’t even know what to say. thank you Aizawa’s leg for your sacrifice, and for always supporting him. literally. oh my god I came here ready for my son to enter a new phase of character development, and for the manga as a whole to enter a new phase of glorious, glorious angst. no one told me I’d be sitting here making puns instead. what a fine, confusing day
anyway though let’s just fucking hope it worked. and side note, if Aizawa Shouta really did chop off his own fucking leg just now and somehow STILL managed not to fucking blink, I think we might as well just go ahead and hand him the Biggest Badass In The Series award right now because no one is ever going to top that. nope. not happening
it is truly a testament to Shigaraki Tomura’s unfathomably mysterious sexy villain energy that he still somehow manages to look hot with only half a face
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also no one in this manga actually feels pain, do they. not Deku, not Aizawa, not Tomura, no one. no wonder none of them have any self-preservation instincts to speak of
um
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did someone just randomly explode just now. at this point it might as well happen, right
oh it’s the shockwave from Deku’s Wyoming attack, apparently. how nice of it to have a delayed reaction for absolutely no reason
anyway so Deku’s being flung back, but he’s grabbing onto Tomura again with Blackwhip. but oh shit you guys, if Tomura escapes Deku and Ryuukyuu’s clutches and still has any bullets left in his pocket, we may still be able to salvage this Bakugou quirk situation after all. would be nice to be able to actually do something with all of these “happy quirk losing day” balloons that I ordered
(ETA: actually, believe it or not I honestly like this better. Tomura using AFO was always the more dramatic option anyway. and now that we’ve done the bullet thing everyone has presumably let their guard down again, which, good.)
I love how Tomura apparently hasn’t noticed that Aizawa’s just amputated his own leg? to be fair he’s probably distracted by all the explosions and such
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also gotta love how Deku’s arm-breaking attack seemingly just made everything worse for no reason. and also how Manual and RockLockRock are once again just standing there doing absolutely nothing
SO NOW GUESS WHAT’S HAPPENING
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I MEAN IT! GUESS. BECAUSE YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE LOL
OH WELL OKAY THEN
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just like we all saw coming!! ...
so is this Endeavor’s attack?? Bakugou’s?? either way, hot damn. fortunately for Tomura he is apparently operating under the same guidelines as the U.S. Federal Reserve, in which mutilated bills may still be exchanged at face value if more than 50% of a note identifiable as United States currency is present. basically as long as roughly half of him is still vaguely Tomura-shaped I assume he’ll be fine
(ETA: in hindsight I should have immediately been able to identify this as a Shouto attack based solely on how murdery it was lol.)
OH MY GODDDD
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KRANCH?!?
OH MY GOD LOL WHAT. LOL. REMEMBER EVERYONE’S THEORIES FROM LIKE TWENTY YEARS AGO LOL. SHOUTO WHAT THE FUCK. DID YOU STOP FOR DRIVE THRU
AND MEANWHILE DEKU’S BACK ON THE SCENE GIVING ARGUABLY EVEN LESS FUCKS THAN BEFORE, IF SUCH A THING IS EVEN POSSIBLE. SO FAR THIS CHAPTER HAS PRECISELY ZERO THINGS THAT I ACTUALLY EXPECTED IN IT, WHICH IS VERY IMPRESSIVE
IT ALSO HAS A LOT OF SMASHING
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a LOT. of smashing, guys. feels like... 60% smashing, 20% severed legs, 20% Kranch
-- oh no oh SHIT oh shit oh shit
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(ETA: um so I really can’t tell how far that wound extends and whether or not Aizawa still has his right eye, shit.)
first of all how did Deku get here next to Aizawa when he was just over there with Tomura, what. and second, I think Aizawa just blinked, oh shit. probably on the verge of passing out after CHOPPING HIS OWN LEG OFF which STILL hasn’t been acknowledged yet?? did I just completely misinterpret all of that back there or what
(ETA: there was seriously so little attention called to this that I scrolled back up to confirm it probably like half a dozen times. apparently Horikoshi thinks that THE MOST BADASS THING TO EVER HAPPEN IN THE MANGA should be completely downplayed. whereas if it were me, there’d be an entire two page spread of JUST THE LEG. WITH MUSIC PLAYING. EVEN THOUGH IT’S A MANGA.)
YEPPPPPPP. fuck
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look at him though. he’s so happy. this is why I can’t stay mad at you no matter how deranged you get you little maniac
so is quirk-stealing back on the menu then or what. don’t think I’ve been lulled into any kind of false sense of security by any of this lol
-- ARE WE SERIOUSLY CUTTING AWAY
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so Todoroki really went after them ALONE. the better to put his dad right back up at the top of the Lose Your Quirk Sweepstakes finalists. well... second-to-top, maybe. like I said I will not be lulled
yuh-oh
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why do I feel like the odds of Gigantomachia arriving to herald the end of this chapter just shot up DRAMATICALLY
so the next page is almost entirely just a list of cities that the news anchor is telling people to evacuate because they’re in Machia’s path. along with a bunch of dead heroes lying around everywhere, and Ochako being all ominous
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(: weren’t they, though? heh. this is going to be so, so bad (: (: (:
-- fuuuuuuuuuuu
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aaaaaand that’s it. hahahaha. okay then let’s summarize
Bakugou defied all expectations and kept his quirk (FOR NOW)!
Aizawa cut his own fucking leg off and it WASN’T EVEN REMOTELY ACKNOWLEDGED FOR REASONS I CAN’T UNDERSTAND (R.I.P. AIZAWA’S PRECIOUS LEG. YOU ALWAYS PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD)
Kranch showed up after 157 years and is probably wondering why the heck I keep calling him “Kranch” now. THINGS CHANGE WHEN YOU’RE MIA FOR A WHILE MY LITTLE STARBUCKS CHRISTMAS CUP
Deku broke his arm for the 78th time
Tomura regenerated but seems to think Aizawa’s quirk is actually gone for good, which I’m pretty sure it’s not. so if they can keep him from destroying everything long enough for Aizawa to turn it back on again, we might possibly still survive this
and lastly, Machia is about to kill all of these stupid people frolicking around outside of this fitness club who are probably so proud of themselves for not being glued to their phones 24/7 because they prefer to LIVE LIFE IN THE MOMENT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. well that’s on you my friends. at least it’ll be a quick death. ffff
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IT COMES AROUND AND COMES AROUND AND COMES AROUND AGAIN- BNHA CHAPTER 191 REVIEW!!
Welcome to my review of Chapter 191 of the Boku no Hero Manga! I discuss the topics of symbolism, story continuation, and character development- WARNING, THERE ARE SPOILERS!
If you’re fine and dandy with all that, then click the “Read More” below and please, have fun!
ALRIGHTY FOR THOSE THAT DECIDED TO READ THIS… Welcome and hello! We have a lot to go over, so let’s get started!
From where we last left off, we listen in as Dabi confronts both Enji and Hawks. Enji’s eyesight is apparently blurry, as we can see from the slightly morphed panel.
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However, as Dabi gets closer, the haze clears- and Enji identifies him as Dabi, the murderer of Snatch and part of the League of Villains. There’s no true recognition here (sorry Dabi Todoroki fans), but now we see the title- “Ch. 191: Dabi/Hawks/Endeavor”.
Here’s something that I’ve noticed.
Can we look at the chapter title for a moment? At first I looked over the sequence of the names, but after rereading it a few times… something catches my attention, which I will get to at a later point- but do keep the title, and specifically the order of Dabi/Hawks/Endeavor fresh in your brain! Anyways, on to the next pages…
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Dabi sets up a large circle of blue flames, effectively cutting off the rest of the city from Enji and Hawks.
It’s… honestly interesting, as this is also something I realize. Everyone currently present in that room has had a direct, or at least appearance knowledge of Dabi- Yaorozu, Midoriya, Tokoyami, Kirishima, Kaminari, Tokoyami, Tsuyu, Bakugou, Ochaco, Sero, and Todoroki… all of these had confrontations or at least saw Dabi- excluding… Shoji.
It might tie in with the new Shoji arc that was promised to be appearing soon- but who knows? I might be looking too much into it, ahah…
(Side note: HI SEROROKI!!!)
Back to the battle, Enji tries to stand once more- with Hawks, bless his heart, is telling him to stand down so he can protect him- with Dabi claiming he just plans on taking the Noumu… though, as the next page shows, that’s the last thing on his mind. And with that, he proceeds to attack the helpless duo- until thankfully, the bunny heroine Miruko shows up!
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Dabi calls for someone named Ujiko… which I don’t know exactly who it is, but I’ll do some research.
The next pages are of Dabi telling Enji not to die before they meet again… and them being congratulated by the media, while Fuyumi, Shouto, Natsuo, and Toshinkori look on… a “happy” ending- well, with Enji losing consciousness.
But then… this part.
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When reading through this at first… I was shocked. Hawks, a villain? But- well, let me fully analyze these pages first.
Hawks and Dabi meet in what seems to be an abandoned warehouse, and they talk about… the time of the Noumu attack. Dabi calls it a test for Hawks- while Hawks… tells Dabi that this wasn’t what was planned. The conversation lasts for a few more moments, with Dabi telling Hawks that he would contact him later… in which (sorry hotwings fans) it seems Hawks rather dislikes him, and vice versa as well.
And to my relief- the “Villain Hawks” is debunked a mere few pages later, with Hawks being asked by two officials to go undercover in the League of Villains to lay all their secrets bare… which answers quite a few questions as well.
And that answers many, many questions.
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Political things like these take time to plan… which explains Kamino Ward. He wasn’t asked to join the attack on the League of Villains because… well. A hero that attacks them, and then asks to join them? Sounds pretty fishy if you ask me.
And here, we see that… Hawks really is a good person. He’s worried about the casualties that will… occur when he’s off gallivanting with the League of Villains. But he knows that for the big picture, of the world he envisions for the future, it may be something he has to do.
Also, I would like to Qualify Hawks as a Slytherin.
Cough. Anyway.
The end of the page is Hawks walking into Enji’s hospital room…
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His mascara/eyeliner is smudged, possibly meaning… that he was crying.
“Endeavor, I’m sorry.”
“I…”
And here is where I’d like to bring back the title.
Ch.191: Dabi/Hawks/Endeavor
And… well… please notice how Hawks is squished between Dabi and Endeavor.
Dabi, his link to the League of Villains, the risk to his life… and Endeavor, the Hero he’s respected since he was a child, what probably inspired him to become a Hero himself.
Squished between the burden he has to carry, putting his own life in danger to gather information on the League of Villains, and his feeling of comraderie and respect for Enji- his possible wish to just… be a Hero that can inspire like Enji.
I have a theory.
If Dabi is actually a Todoroki, like many of you have been theorizing yourself, then it’s possible… that the story of these three sides, will continue into ways we could never believe at first.
As time continues, he will work closely with both Enji, lying to him about certain things, about his affiliation as double agent, gathering information from the League of Villains, until… the final clash arrives again, much later.
My theory is that Hawks will continue to work with Enji, continue to get closer to the No. 1 Hero as both a colleague, and… possibly a friend- and promptly either be exposed by Dabi as a traitor to the Enji, or be told the truth of Enji’s past.
Either way, he is squished between the League and the Heroes… and I am so, so worried about this poor boy. He’s only twenty-two, four years of Heroing under his belt- it’s a lot.
It’s… I’m very, very worried for him.
But enough about that…
At the final page of the chapter, with Hawks visiting Enji, we see Dabi as well- remembering Snatch… saying that “[I] thought so hard about it I went crazy.” Which possibly means… regret? And yet- another thing to the Dabi is a Todoroki theory, interestingly enough.
Dabi- if he was a Todoroki… thinking of how his family feels… it’s possible that’s what made him go crazy- it’s possible his own family’s feelings is what he is reminiscing about- but that’s just a theory! A Fiiiilllllmmm Theoryyyy!!!
And uh, yep! That’s the end of my review of Boku no Hero Academia Manga Chapter 191: Dabi/Hawks/Endeavor!
Tell me what you think of it down below- and please, reblogs and feedback is very appreciated! Thanks for reading, folks!
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Connection theories - Mamoru, the Black Moon princes and Shigaraki
This regards mostly my crossover ff “Days of Moonlight (and) Heroes”. 
Light SPOILERS for who doesn’t read the BnHA manga. Proceed at your risk.
So, once upon a time, when I was seven or so, I tended to be confused by the resemblance between Mamoru and Saphire. Crystal did very little to fix it:
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Anyway, in regards to my crossover, I noticed one more bizarre resemblance, the one between Shigaraki and Diamond:
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(sorry, I couldn’t find a decent pic from the anime where he doesn’t have the damn hand on his face, so I used a manga coloring by VinsmokeKuroAshi)
I mean, it’s not a physical resemblance only: the way they are obsessed (probably but not only because of brainwashing by a very powerful evil mentor) with the bright main characters and the aim for their destruction, the idea of ruling a world that is ideal only in their minds and a few other things... I find them similar, that is.
You see, my brain is probably wired a little weird because those two very distinct facts made me think... what if those people are somewhat related?
I’ll explain: in canon Diamond and Saphire are from the future and they were born (or went, depending on the iteration) on a penal colony planet, Nemesis, where the irredeemable criminals/rebels went or were sent by Neo-Queen Serenity (on this regard, I always wondered why those people weren’t plain killed or completely redeemed, but they were human so perhaps Serenity’s plan was for them to realize their error through the exile and repent or something)
Now, can we consider the fact Shigaraki is not likely to have any kind of redemption arc, so he would be among the ones sent to the Black Moon? (To be honest, the Black Moon is exactly the kind of world Shigaraki wants to live in, I guess it’d be almost kind of Neo-Queen Serenity to send him there)
Or in my ff’s verse, since I am following Crystal’s explanation, the resentment the Black Moon group of rebels show could derive by old Villains confined to the corners of civilization who taught their offspring to hate the order brought by Heroes and the Moon Matriarchy.
In some recent chapters of BnHA, we learned a bit about Shigaraki’s presumed past (I say “presumed” because it’s possible AfO meddled with young Tenko’s memories) and we saw him declaring himself “future king” of Villains. I know it’s a bit preposterous, but what if becoming that is actually possible for him? Only, this will happen on Nemesis and his sons, Diamond and Saphire, are the princes of that ruin of a world. Again, Nemesis seems the ideal world for Shigaraki’s twisted mind.
What does it all have to do with Mamoru?
Well, we know that Mamoru’s parents died in an accident and he lost his memory... oh, wait. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Isn’t that the same thing happened to Tenko? I mean, the Chibas’ was a car accident in canon, but in my verse it can be anything.
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And there is this resemblance that is striking too: Shimura Nana and Mamoru.
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Granted, they share only the same colours and a line in the cut of the eyes and nose, which is not surprising given the different drawing styles of BnHA and SMC, but I can’t unsee it.
Point is: Mamoru is related to Nana (and, by proxy, to Shigaraki and the Black Moon princes).
But his surname is Chiba, so he isn’t the son of Nana’s son, whose surname was still Shimura (a really terrible choice, if you ask me. I mean, the very last thing she could have tried if she didn’t want her enemies to find him was to change his name!).
Given his age, Mamoru could be a nephew (we don’t know if Nana had siblings) OR an illegitimate child of Nana’s son (who was raised by his mother and a step/adoptive-father whose surname was Chiba) OR the son of another child of Nana.
I know a part of the fandom loves to ship Nana and Gran Torino and, I mean, why not? What if, after her husband died and she gave up her son, she had a relationship with Sorahiko? And unplanned pregnancies happen, so they had to send away the child (a girl, maybe?) to keep up their fight.
This had to happen before Nana met teen Toshinori. She’d tell about her son because he’s old enough to be tracked and she doesn’t want anyone to, while she keeps quiet about the other child who is a lot less likely to be found. And, of course, Gran Torino would never ever mention it, he’d probably try to forget as soon as possible to compartmentalize pain.
Maybe he’d think Nana is taking in Toshi as compensation for the kids she gave away and maybe he was a little resentful at first and that’s the reason he was so hard on his training. Or his super harsh training was just his way of coping, in order to make sure Toshi doesn’t fall just as fast as Nana did.
You know, holes and all, I like this theory a bloody lot but right now I don’t have a clue how to insert it inside the fic, so I’ll leave it here as a big explanation for some vague clues I’ll probably scatter around.
After all, how much of a middle finger to All For One would it be if there was a Nana’s descendant who not only survived away from his grasp, but is going to become the King of Earth, married to none other than All Might’s daughter, who is the most powerful being in the Galaxy other than Queen of the Solar System?
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fivewrites · 6 years
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That’s Not How Child Abuse Works: Todoroki Enji Edition
Let’s talk about character design and child abuse in BNHA.
Let me be clear: Enji Todoroki is a bad person. Full stop. This is not a defense of him, or an excuse of his behaviours in any way. This is, however, an examination of the specific ways in which he is a bad person, and why I feel a fair portion of the fandom gets him and his relationship with Shoto Todoroki wrong.
So, who is Enji Todoroki?
Trigger warning for discussions of physical, emotional and sexual abuse, as well as domestic violence under the cut
Also, spoilers
Alright, let me start off with a preface. It should go without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. This is not a strict do-and-do-not of writing. No one is stopping you from writing whatever you want. If you want to write rape as a plot device or cheap shock-value characterization for your villain, I literally cannot stop you. No one can stop you. Go ahead. 
As well, this post contains hypothesis and conjecture that are not proven as fact by the canonical text, but may or may not be inferred through examination. In no way am I trying to state that my assumptions or suggestions are true or canonical, they are merely that - suggestions on how to write realistic portrayals of familial abuse.
Thirdly, there is a very good resource out there for examining abusers. I have found the text Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft invaluable to understanding the patterns of abuse. You can read the whole PDF for free here.
Have fun and be creative, pals.
From what we know of the story, Enji Todoroki is the #2 hero in the world, and has been for quite some time. He is deeply jealous and insecure about this. About the fact that he has never, and probably will never take the number one spot away from All Might. And so, at some point in his life, Enji came up with a plan. He was going to have a son who would do it for him.
Flash forward a bit; Enji paid off the family of Shoto’s mother in order to marry her and have access to her quirk. He was going to produce what would be, in his mind, a perfect heir. (This is bad. He is a bad person for doing this. Full stop.) Enji had several children before Shoto, whom he considers to be “failures” and presumably has little to no relationship with them. However, Shoto’s mother was eventually able to bear a child hybridized with both their powerful quirks. Happy with the result, Enji has since taken it upon himself to form Shoto into his perfect heir.
Enji has done this through abusive means of control and dominance, and in doing so has created a highly toxic relationship between himself, his wife and his son. Much of the problems in the Todoroki household are because of Enji’s actions. He is an abuser. But what kind of abuser he is is not random, and the abusive acts he performs are not random, either.
So who is Enji Todoroki?
Simply put, he’s a Stage Mom. He’s an asshole, abusive, controlling stage mom who treats his son more like a Pokemon than a person.
He is the kind of parent that will drag Shoto out of bed for practice, force him to eat and study, control every minute of his schedule and make sure this kid is going to become, by any means necessary, the man he could never be. That is Enji’s logic. He wants Shoto to succeed where he failed, by any means necessary. 
However, Enji has a logical plan for his son. All of his abusive actions have a purpose. He’s not going to meet his desired goals by harming Shoto to the point of total physical and emotional destruction. He would only be sabotaging himself.
What does Enji Todoroki want?
Power - Enji wants to be the number one hero instead of All Might. Barring that, he wants his son to be #1 in his stead Respect - from his family, and the general public, Enji wants to be seen in a positive light Control - Enji wants to be in control of himself, his family, his work and his destiny Legacy - Enji wants to extend his power beyond just himself, into his children so they continue projecting his power even after he dies
What is Enji Todoroki afraid of?
Losing power - physically and professionally, Enji cannot handle being seen as a weak man, or have Shoto be seen as a weak son. Losing respect - Enji needs his family and the public to treat him as the man he sees himself as Losing control - Enji cannot allow his son or anyone else to disobey him and prevent him from realizing his goals Losing legacy - If Shoto does not become who he wants, Enji will have wasted a huge portion of his life and resources on a failed project
Enji, being a logical and sane* person is going to pursue actions that lead him towards his desired goals. He is also going to avoid actions that will cause him to lose his desired goals.
(*Sane in this case simply meaning “capable of rational thought”. Not moral or ethical thought. Sane people can choose to lie, steal, murder, rape, etc. They are deliberately choosing bad choices, but they are still sane.)
At this point, I would also highly recommend reading the section in Bancroft’s book on the types of abusers in chapter 4, page 219. You can decide for yourself which one (or several) Enji fits under.
Knowing Enji’s goals and mindset, here are a few common tropes I see in Todoroki fic and why I feel they’re not all that logically plausible
Enji beats Shoto within an inch of his life
Simply put, Enji has no reason to do this. Enji sees his son as an extension of himself and his own accomplishments. Shoto is, to him, a prize pig. Physically brutalizing Shoto would be Enji brutalizing himself.
Remember, Enji has an image that he wants to project to the outside world. He is a public figure. A celebrity. He wants the public to see him, and by extension his family, as powerful, united, untouchable and also a traditionally conservative Japanese family. 
The media and public would likely become suspect of Enji’s power and likability if they saw his son consistently covered in bruises. Or worse (for Enji) they might assume that Shoto has been losing a bunch of fights and is a weak hero. Enji absolutely would not want the world to think this, and would not let his perfect son be seen as weak or defeated.
While it is reasonable to assume that Enji might use corporal punishment for misbehaviour, there is no reason to assume that he assaults Shoto to the point of hospitalization or death.
It is also reasonable to assume that Enji overtrains Shoto, and pushes him beyond his physical limits in pursuit of shaping him into the perfect warrior. We saw him train Shoto until he vomits as a child. However, this still follows Enji’s logical purpose of making him “better”. It is unlikely that he would physically attack Shoto for frivolous reasons, like his own amusement or anger. It would undercut his goal of turning Shoto into a miniature version of himself.
Enji starves Shoto
Again, there is no reason for Enji to do this. He wants to project to the world that he is strong, and by extension, his family is strong. Starving Shoto would seriously harm Enji’s plans for him.
Shoto would struggle physically and mentally in school, and Enji wants a top performer
Shoto wouldn’t develop properly physically, and Enji wants a big, strong son to prove he is a big, strong father
Enji wants to project to the world that he is powerful and in control. If the public saw Shoto as small and shrimpy, they would seriously question his strength and authority as a patriarch. What, this powerful man is so broke he can’t afford food for his son?
Now, as an asshole stage mom who tries to control his son’s life, it would probably make more sense to put Shoto on an extreme health food diet in order to improve his performance. But outright starvation? It doesn’t make sense.
Besides. Have you seen this 5’9” 155-pounds-of-muscle kid? He is not starving.
Enji locks Shoto in his room for extended periods
Maybe when Shoto was younger and misbehaved? It’s not an unlikely punishment by an abusive parent, especially for a younger child, but Shoto is a teenager now. And, as we can see in the current story, Shoto has fairly free movement, both inside the household and out. 
He regularly visits his mother in the hospital, is out long after dark in the hideout raid arc, and basically goes wherever he wants whenever he wants. At 15, Shoto isn’t being locked up anywhere by his father. He is a dutiful and obedient son and Enji doesn’t seem to worry about him running away from home.
Another point to consider is that a lot of this freedom is still predicated on Shoto’s conditional obedience to Enji overall. Enji allows Shoto freedom because he believes that Shoto is following in his footsteps, even if he deems his son “rebellious” at times. If Enji decided that Shoto was at risk of running away or betraying him, his punishments may become much more severe.
See: Why He Stays section below
This is also why Shoto’s rebellious compromise in the first two seasons is an incredibly clever survival mechanism. He is, technically, still following his father’s plan for him. However, by choosing to ignore his fire side, he is still disobeying his father. But his father cannot reasonably punish him for that since Shoto is still a top-ranking student and a powerful quirk user overall. It’s a brilliant power-play when all the power rests in Enji’s hands.
Enji verbally abuses Shoto to make him feel bad about himself
Yes and No? It’s likely that Enji does say a lot of really terrible things to his son. The way he speaks in the manga and anime suggest a man who has very little respect for those he considers to be beneath him, and only begruding respect for those who are above him.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Enji insults or even threatens Shoto. But he does it for a purpose. As stated above, Enji wants to maintain control and power, and to continue his legacy through Shoto.
He doesn’t want Shoto to feel weak or degraded or to become a pushover in life. He wants Shoto to become strong and impenetrable, a perfect recreation of toxic masculinity. If Shoto were to break down crying from insults, Enji would have failed in creating Shoto into someone who is hard and emotionless. Therefore extreme verbal abuse to the point where Shoto is crying is less likely than just casual bullying.
Shoto is untouchable and has never, ever been touched or hugged
His mother loved him. When Shoto was a young child, we see her in the anime hugging and cuddling her son. So that’s out.
In the present, Shoto lives with other people than just his father. In the anime, we see that Fuyumi still lives at home, and cares about what Shoto does, as shown when he goes to visit his mother in the hospital. I find it highly unlikely that siblings in a reasonably amicable relationship never, ever hug, even if they are generally busy in their separate lives.
It is unclear if Shoto still lives with his brothers, or the older woman who was taking care of them in the flashback panel of the manga, but again, it would be stange if these people, who are presumably not abusive, never, ever touched Shoto in any affectionate way ever. Shoto isn’t cursed.
While it is reasonable to assume that Enji is an old-school patriarch who doesn’t show much, if any, physical affection to his son, he still gives him some attention, and provides Shoto with everything he needs to be a successful hero. (whether Shoto wants to follow this path or not is another story. Fortunately, Shoto does)
Enji likely still trains with Shoto, sparring with him and showing him fighting technique. He may not hug his son, but he doesn’t ignore him. He might even pat him on the back if Shoto does something that Enji approves of, such as boosting the family profile in public. 
We saw at the sports festival how proud Enji was of Shoto using his fire half. Yes, it was a selfish pride, and Enji was really more congratulating himself than his son, but we saw that Enji doesn’t just hate Shoto for the sake of it. 
Is Shoto touch-starved? Possibly. He has probably seen less physical affection than someone with loving parents like Izuku or Ochako, but I doubt it is so extreme to the point of him breaking down into tears because he’s never had a tender hug.
Any form of sexual abuse
No. Look, I get it, Enji is an asshole and we hate him. I won’t deny this. But you can be an asshole and not be a child molester. And it is, quite frankly, lazy writing to take a character whom you want to show is an Evil Bastard™ and just write him off as “child rapist”. Because that’s not who Enji is. Enji Todoroki is a lot of things. He’s a bad person. But he is not someone who molests his own son.
Now, if you want to talk about marital rape, there is certainly enough evidence to believe that Enji’s relationship with Shoto’s mother was non-consensual, and probably violent. I will not argue this point. But Enji feeling entitled to women’s bodies and using Shoto’s mother to produce the perfect child still doesn’t make him a child molestor. These are two very separate forms of Evil Bastardry.
Enji’s pattern of abuse follows a logical train of thought. It’s not ethical, and it’s not kind, but it does make logical sense for his character. What doesn’t make sense is him trying to create a perfect superhero offspring, and then seriously damaging that child with sexual abuse. That’s not Enji’s purpose or plan. Enji used Shoto’s mother to produce Shoto. He has no reason to attack Shoto in this way, beyond “hurr hurr I’m evil”. It would sabotage Shoto’s chances at becoming the national hero that Enji desires
Ways to accurately examine and portray the abuse that happens in the Todoroki household
Because, absolutely, there is abuse. And it is serious. Just because Shoto isn’t being locked up or starved or beaten doesn’t mean he is not being abused or hasn’t been abused in the past. But the abuse needs to follow Enji’s logical train of thought. He has a very specific goal in mind, and he is willing to do anything to accomplish that goal, even if it means everyone in his life suffering for it.
This following section contains my own opinions regarding portrayal of domestic abuse and violence. It is not a set of must-follow rules, merely suggestions based on personal and professional experience.
Physical abuse
Physical striking as a form of specific discipline for misbehaviour make sense, but not random, extreme violence
Enji wants Shoto to be obedient, but also strong. He would not be not above using violence to control his son, but it would need to be in connection to direct misbehaviour, and relative to the infraction Shoto has committed.
Abusers, despite what they claim, generally do not “lose it” or not understand their own strength. They know what they are doing and how hard they can hit. A professional fighter like Enji especially knows how hard he can hit a person and what damage he can cause. Any damage done to Shoto would be deliberate, and Enji would have to deal with the consequences of extreme violence.
Shoto cannot continue to train under Enji if he is constantly dealing with serious injuries and needing hospitalization to recover.
Overtraining Shoto and ignoring his physical and verbal needs for rest
This is actually more emotional and psychological abuse than physical, because it shows Enji cares about his own trajectory for Shoto more than Shoto himself. 
And again, the physical abuse needs to follow the logical sense of making Shoto better in Enji’s eyes. For example, he’s not going to make Shoto scrub all the floors in their house, because he takes pride in his creation and likely believes Shoto would be above such menial tasks.
Controlling Shoto’s diet
While I don’t think it’s logical for Enji to starve Shoto, It would be more reasonable for him to develop Orthorexia, a condition similar to anorexia where someone is obsessed with health and purity of foods. He would make sure Shoto is eating entirely healthy food that he approves of, while prohibiting anything he sees as unhealthy, like sugar or candy.
Controlling Shoto’s rest schedule
Same with food, in his household, Enji probably controls when Shoto trains and sleeps. However, by 15, Shoto is probably used to this and sees it as completely normal and not abusive. Human beings are amazing at normalizing the worst things.
Controlling Shoto’s study and free time
In order to min/max his Pokemon son’s fighting stats, Enji probably wouldn’t let Shoto waste his time with things children do like “hobbies” or “fun”.
Not allowing him to play with his siblings
Not allowing him to play with friends outside the family
Not allowing him to pursue anything that isn’t about becoming a hero, such as art or video games. Part of Shoto’s awkwardness is likely because he’s not terribly up to speed with pop culture references, seeing as how he likely has very little time to consume these things that Enji would see as frivolous
Using any and all free time Shoto has to train him into becoming a hero
Verbal Abuse
When abusers use their words, they use them very specifically. While they may make excuses like “I didn’t mean it” or “I didn’t know what I was saying at the time” this is a lie. They know what they are saying and they know why it hurts. They specifically want to instill fear or shame in their target in order to keep control over them. When giving Enji Todoroki dialogue, it is important to remember what his (fucked up) goals and values are, and how he is trying to achieve those (fucked up) goals and values.
Instead of just calling Shoto names randomly, Enji would likely make everything about himself.
“You’re no son of mine”
“Why can’t you be more like me?”
“You’re my son, Shoto, act like it.”
Enji would likely try to shape Shoto’s world view to be extremely similar to his own, giving Shoto biased information, no matter its accuracy
“Your mother was a weak woman who didn’t raise you correctly”
“All Might is a fool and you’d be a fool to admire him”
“Those kids at school are just trying to drag you down. Don’t spend time with them.”
Praise and affection would be given in relation to how Enji personally feels and how Shoto is living up to his father’s demands
“You’re becoming the man I knew you could be”
“I’ve worked so hard to create you”
“You’re strong, like me”
Psychological Abuse
This is probably the biggest factor in Enji’s abuse, far more than anything physical he does to Shoto. And while writers may think physical acts such as beating and starvation make for good story, I would argue that these more subtle acts in the relationship are more realistic, and can prove far more damaging in the long run.
Enji treats Shoto like an object, not a person.
This is the biggest single factor of abuse, and is the core of their relationship’s toxicity. Enji does not see Shoto as his own person with his own thoughts, opinions or desires. He sees Shoto as a miniature extension of himself that he can use and control in order to be more successful as a hero, and eventually take the number one spot from All Might.
Enji does not allow Shoto the freedom to grow and develop as his own person, and pursue any interests beyond those interests of himself.
Enji only supports his son’s confidence in relation to him becoming a hero.
Shoto has been denied a normal childhood and normal development in pursuit of his father’s goals
Shoto can see his friends at school hang out and talk and laugh and watch movies and play video games and be kids. Shoto was likely not allowed to do any of that and he can feel incredibly isolated, lonely and bitter about not being able to relate to his peers
Shoto can have confidence issues, even when he is #1
Enji has built a kind of fragile confidence in Shoto. He needs his son to be #1 all the time. #2 just isn’t good enough. Many child prodigies have spoken out about how parental pressure crushed their self-esteem and destroyed whatever passion they had for their chosen subject (art, music, dance, sports, being a hero)
Being raised in an environment of constant pressure and criticism can lead a person to develop a highly critical self-image and OCD tendencies. They constantly feel “never good enough” because to the parent they looked up to, they never were. There was always something that needed improvement.
Enji is living through his child
Because Shoto has been denied his own childhood, he is being used, physically and psychologically, by his father as a way to live out his own unfulfilled dreams of success. This is incredibly damaging for Shoto because he cannot feel like a whole person in and of himself. Children who are used b their parents in this way often feel like a kind of mask that the parent wears, rather than a child who is loved and nurtured.
Children who are used by their parents also tend to have a poor or underdeveloped sense of self-image, and Shoto may have difficulty separating his own choices and desires from that of his father.
Unable to mature emotionally
Because Enji controls so much of his son’s life, Shoto is unable to grow emotionally and unable to make important decisions for himself, from picking out his own clothes, to saying no to peer pressure
Shoto will probably have difficulty forming intimate relationships (romantic or platonic) because he has very little reference of how to behave in a non-abusive way.
He may unconsciously replicate his father’s abusive behaviours with a partner
Even if Shoto can recognise abusive behaviours and not want to replicate them, he would struggle because he does not know what else to do
Potential psychological things Enji might do
Ignoring / Discouraging Shoto from pursuing anything Enji does not approve of
“Hey dad, look, I drew a bird!” “That’s nice son, how many criminals have you fought today?”
Forgetting important milestones like birthdays or good grades
Enji is self-absorbed with his own goals and does not take interest in his son’s personal life beyond how it would benefit him, personally. Shoto has grown up feeling like he owes his father and his family success and that a lot is riding on him to be the best. Shoto does not get a reward for getting perfect grades, he gets a “This is what I expect of you.”
Imbalance of power amongst siblings
One very common tactic amongs abusers is splitting the power dynamic of the household in order to maintain and control power for themselves
Abusers will often pick a “golden child” that they place all of their expectations upon, and then compare all other children to that child.
“Fuyumi, why can’t you be more like Shoto? He’s doing great and you’re doing terrible.”
This builds resentment between siblings and prevents them from allying with each other against the abuser.
It places the “golden child” in a difficult position of conditional acceptance between allying with the abusive parent, or allying with the rest of the family and risk losing their ascended position.
(See Azula from ATLA: Azula’s power came from the fact that she was “not a failure like Zuko” and saw favour in her father’s eyes only when compared to the child he did not like)
Refusing to acknowledge the relationship Shoto had with his mother, or misrepresenting it to the public
Enji knew that Shoto loved his mother, and saw her psychological breakdown / attack on Shoto as her own failing, and not related to his own abusive behaviour. Even when abusers absolutely know they are in the wrong, they do not take responsibility for their actions, and find ways to shift blame to someone or something else so that they are never forced to change their behaviour. This would build huge resentment in Shoto if his father never acknowledged that his mother’s breakdown was his fault
To the public, Enji still wants to project that powerful, traditional family ideal. He probably either didn’t say anything to the media and they don’t know that Shoto’s mother is gone, or he lied, making it again sound like her breakdown was some sort of freak accident and not a direct result of his abuse.
Why does he stay?
Why does any abuse survivor stay? Why not just run away and go live with Midoriya or Aizawa? The simple answer is, it’s safer to stay than to leave.
The truth about abuse is that there is no easy solution. There is no adoption rescue. Even calling the Japanese equivalent of child protective services is not an instant fix, and cases can take months, if not years to resolve.
For Shoto to be taken away from his family, Enji would have to prove he is unfit as a parent in the court of law. Unfortunately, courts very often side with the parent. If Enji is not starving, beating up or molesting his child, the court system would likely justify his custody of his child. Being a terrible asshole is not enough of a reason to be taken away from your parent, in a legal sense
If Shoto leaves, who becomes the target for blame?
In abusive relationships, there is often a protector, a sort of shock-absorber, who mediates the abuse. This may be the spouse / wife, or an older sibling protecting the younger ones. If Shoto leaves, his other siblings, including Fuyumi may be at much greater risk for Enji’s retribution. Abusers are often at heir most violent and unpredictable when their victim is trying to break away and leave
Shoto does not love his father, but he does grudgingly respect his skill
Shoto has his own goals. He wants to be a powerful hero, just as Midoriya and Bakugou do. And, in Shoto’s mind, his father is part of that goal. Shoto willingly chose his father’s agency to intern with, because he acknowledges that Enji is still an accomplished professional, even though his methods and attitude are shitty and abusive.
Is Shoto brainwashed / gaslit / controlled? Probably not insignificantly. If Shoto had been raised in a different environment, he may not feel compelled to apply to his father’s agency, but his choice shows that he is still actively attached to his family and not yet ready to leave.
Shoto may have an inheritance, or other resources at risk if he disobeys
Abusers often use financial control as a way of keeping their victims in line and unable to escape. If Shoto were to run away, he might very likely have no financial way to support himself, and may even have to drop out of an expensive school like UA, preventing him from achieving his goals of becoming a hero.
Enji has a lot of friends and resources
Enji, as a professional hero, has been working within the justice department for decades. He probably knows a lot of police officers, DAs, prosecutors, judges, etc. It is well known that cops are willing to commit crimes in order to protect one another within the system. If Enji’s son tries to accuse his father of child abuse, he is facing a hugely biased system where his father could influence or bribe the outcome. 
And as we know with his mother, Enji is not above corruption or bribery. Shoto is at great risk if he goes to the cops.
In Shoto’s case, the best solution in his mind seems to be to “bear it out” and wait until he comes of age in order to leave, rather that running away or getting the courts involved. This is not an uncommon strategy for many abused children. Whether or not it is the best one, no one can say. One can only hope that Shoto has the strength to make it through until he ages into legal adulthood and is able to move on from his abusive situation.
Other considerations: Dabi
If you a believe in the theory that Dabi is actually an older Todoroki child, there are other factors to take into consideration with Enji’s behaviour.
If Dabi was Enji’s first attempt at creating an heir, and Enji lost him, this means that Enji has already spent considerable time and resources on his plan to create the perfect son.
If he has already failed once, Enji might possibly not be as extremely harsh on Shoto if he believes that Shoto might run away or turn against him
Enji could see his failure with Dabi and try to correct his “mistakes” with the way he is raising Shoto.
Enji may still be in his prime, but not for long. He is aging, and probably doesn’t have much more chance for success to raise a child from birth if he is not successful with Shoto. Shoto is pretty much his final big investment, and after losing Dabi, Enji is going to take every precaution to make sure Shoto turns out the way he wants, for better or worse.
In conclusion
I feel like a stronger take on the abuse that Shoto survives is one that takes his father’s goals and neurosis into account, rather than just relying on the shock of extreme physical behaviour in order to draw empathy out of the reader. Shoto’s situation is bad, but it’s also sadly common and relatable in our world. Portraying Shoto’s abuse as more realistic is better writing than putting him in an easily solvable fantasy world here he is hit or molested and then adopted by a rescuer. 
Part of the reason I wrote this is because I see a lot of extreme examples of physical abuse in fiction and fanfiction, but few that go into or validate the subtleties of psychological abuse. Rather, these dangerous behaviours are often obscured or treated as tolerable or even romantic. I often walk away from a story feeling like the only “valid” abuse is that of the extreme kind.
But I want to press to readers and writers: subtle abuse is abuse. You don’t need to be beaten or starved or raped to be abused, to speak up, to pronounce that relationship as toxic and try your best to leave. It can be incredibly difficult, feeling trapped in a family that suffers from the generational trauma of abuse, and I can only give those of you who are living and surviving in these situations my deepest empathy and support.
http://www.thehotline.org/ https://ncadv.org/resources http://makeitourbusiness.ca/resources/internet-resources-for-domestic-violence
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haruyuri · 6 years
Text
Attack On Titan // Manga Analysis
contains spoilers.
this post is focused mostly on the Marley Arc and Sasha’s death. read at your own risk.
Ah, I said I would do this, here I am.
I believe pretty much all of the Attack On Titan fandom is pissed right now. Whether you are a manga reader or not, I’m sure you’ve come across with the most recent spoilers.
Yes, Sasha Blouse is dead.
We shall start with some background on her, using the anime. She was rather irrelevant during season one, I think we all agree. She was simply the ‘potato girl’, or the girl who spoke in a ridiculously polite way, but, during season two, she gained some focus for her character. Truth is she was meant to die in chapter 40, more or less, when she fought that one titan with the arrows. (Titan that was confirmed (i think) to be Connie’s father.)
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She was unharmed. She didn’t have her gear on, but she did save a small child from a titan and fought it with something she was good at, shooting arrows. But though, I think she isn’t given enough credit for this. She had this whole episode for herself and still, she was still ‘potato girl’.
Throughout the whole anime, Sasha is seen as a goofball who has an incredibly high appetite. Sure, she is a rather positive character, so is Connie, but both of them have their own demons as well.
Believe it or not, Sasha was rather important during the Uprising Arc. She was one of the chosen to be part of the new Squad Levi, as long as the other 104th soldiers and she had an important role in protecting Eren and Historia.
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After she takes care of Levi’s wounds, she stays on guard all night as the squad is eating and drinking.
She then takes part in the rescuing of Eren and Historia, as they know their whereabouts and, shall we not forget, she saves Connie’s life.
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And, later on, it’s Connie’s time to attend to her safety, in the Return to Shingashina Arc. Being hit by the debris upon fighting the Armored Titan, Connie takes her unconscious body to a roof and everyone begins thinking about the Titan Serum. Though, she’s not injured to that point and the debate is then between Armin and Erwin, Levi ending up deciding to give it to Armin.
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Even more, as they return to Trost and she finally recovers, she is exhonerated with a damn medal. Sasha is a worthy soldier.
And finally, we get to the shitty Marley Arc. Personally, it has been my least favorite arc so far. Now, having read chapter 105, I feel like I’ve wasted all the time I’ve put into reading this manga. I used to love every bit of it, even with the death and all the angst, I still looked forward to the next chapter. Now, I don’t. Now I’ll think “Ah.. Another chapter. I’ll read it later.” and just go on with it.
Alright, let’s get this Arc straight, shall we.
We had a heck ton of chapters that made us though “Where the fuck is the Survey Corps” since only hobo looking Eren and mentally fucked up Reiner were on the show. Sure, we got to know some stuff about the Marley dudes, but they’re not that interesting.
It seems to me that Eren left to Marley on his own accord, that he probably even disobeyed his superiors orders (That’d be Commander Hange and Captain Levi) and even wrote them a letter.
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Both Hange and Levi show their discontent with Eren’s development and behavior. Eren, who used to be Humanity’s Hope is now nothing but a suicidal soldier, who uses himself as bait and causes his comrades to die.
He was, for a long time, talking to Falco, bonding with him so that he could get to Reiner. I’m not sure how I feel about Falco though, because he seems to be a good person and he felt deceived by Eren, because he thought Eren was a good person and he was surely though that the people of Paradis were monsters. 
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Falco felt used by Eren and realizes he was lied to. The kid probably has trust issues, who knows.
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Despite knowing that his name is Eren Jaeger, he still goes for Kruger. He’s upset, he understood Eren is a bad guy, I guess.
But anyway, Eren masters up to fuck Reiner in the head even more and bam- he goes batshit crazy and turns into a titan. Nothing we haven’t seen before, right?
Well he goes and kills the Thor look alike and ye, look it’s a new titan!!!
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You are one creepy fucker, Tybur woman.
And, of course, the rest of Marley had to come, right? We get a better look at Pieck’s cart titan and Zeke’s beast titan as well. Let’s not forget what Levi promised Erwin before he died. He would take down the beast titan.
But, surprise surprise. Zeke is betraying Marley. Or.. You can’t be that surprised, c’mon, he betrayed his own parents.
Here’s how it starts:
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Eren seems a bit unamused to me, I don’t know, woops.
On another note, both Levi and Jean talk about ‘time’. That’s another confirmation note to the fact Zeke is actually on Paradis’ side (apparently) and Levi killing him, for now, is an act.
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Pieck knows that Zeke just betrayed him, so.. my question is. Why didn’t she do anything about it? She probably just realised that Levi did not kill him, that he acted as if he did. So why did she just carry on battling and didn’t do anything? Hm.. Fishy.
But moving on.
Let’s talk about another character. Gabi Braun. She’s just 12 and also an Eldian and Warrior Candidate. Her goal is to kill Eren Jaeger, who trampled over her home.
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So here’s the thing about Gabi. First of all, she’s a brat. Second of all, she has a superiority complex. Third of all, she doesn’t listen to anyone. We all know Falco is more inteligent than Gabi and less impulsive than her.
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Don’t talk back, you brat.
But here’s what pisses me off. She made it clear. Eren Jaeger is her target. Sure, she holds a grudge against all Survey Corps members, but mostly, Eren.
So why, why did she have to kill TWO soldiers before she got Eren?
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She killed Lobov and, right after, she didn’t even aim. She grabbed the gun and shot. She had no idea if she’d get anyone or not. But she did, she killed Sasha with one shot.
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What was the damn  logic? She shot randomly. Did she even know if she’d get someone? As much as she knew, she could’ve shot against a wall. Her aim wasn’t defined, she didn’t know what she was doing.
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But no. Poor innocent Sasha had to take the damn bullet. No one was expecting that, Jean and Connie are dumbfounded as Sasha falls backwards. 
Some people are supporting Gabi in here, saying she’s protecting her home, but let’s get something straight. If Sasha hadn’t hesitated back then, Gabi would be dead. Sasha spared Gabi’s life and how did Gabi thank her? She didn’t. She killed her. She killed the one who granted her the miracle of life when she could’ve taken it away.
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And of course, the Survey Corps flip. Sasha is obviously dear to everyone, we can tell that everyone sees Sasha as a close friend, or even a relative. While Jean and Connie, the closest people to Sasha, try to take care of her, the others are quick to pin Gabi and Falco down and hit them. They’re seriously pissed that a brat got in their ship and shot one of them.
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We all know Jean is an emotional guy. But, seeing try to stay collected, giving orders as he sees Sasha slowly slip away from life.. Damn mate.
Also, Connie asks her to hold on until they go home. I still wonder why.
Also, y’all know what pisses me off? When I’m sad/upset and people still make fun of me. And this happened here. Everyone’s sad about Sasha’s death, some people are probably sad over Eren’s state and how the Survey Corps are treating him and Sasha’s last word is ‘meat’ ?
Seriously now, m e a t ?
At this point, I can’t help but believe Isayama is toying around with us. Sure, Sasha became known at the ‘potato girl’ and someone with high appetite, but is that what her whole character is about? Apparently.
And know what hurts the most?
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This probably happened about five minutes before she was shot. Both Jean and Sasha are reflecting on their mission, on what they have to do and how they have to kill. And of course, Connie plays the positive guy. Sure he ain’t smiling, but he’s glad he’s alive. He’s glad his best friends are alive. Jean and Sasha are pretty much everything that Connie has. Sure, he might be a bit close to the others, but Jean and Sasha are definetly the closest people to him. He’s lost his family, he’s lost comrades and now.. Well, he lost Sasha. 
We can see the closure between Sasha and Connie and I’m not saying this because I’m a Springles shipper, but I think that there was something more than friendship, but of course romance would never, in a million years, be relevant to Attack On Titan. (cue; Hannah and Franz died rather quickly)
Sasha was smiling after Connie said she was special and soon they were happily talking about dinner. They just wanted to hang out and relax now.
But no. Sasha had to be murdered.
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Jean is stressing out. Sasha is dying in front of his eyes. He’s probably thinking that he couldn’t protect her, but deep down he blames Eren for this.
The other soldiers have beaten Gabi more than Falco, of course, Falco isn’t even bleeding, but they threaten to kill both.
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Gabi’s speaking shit and how they’d let the commander know and Jean just tells her she can tell Zeke in person.
On another note, Pieck is talking about Yellena, and how she knew Zeke was betraying them with Yellena’s help. Once again, why didn’t she do anything or report Zeke’s intentions to the other warriors?
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Zeke wasn’t expecting that. He probably wouldn’t expect Gabi to murder two soldiers either. He thinks that these kids ruined his plan. I’m still not sure what the plan is, but well, the Corps seem to know.
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Well, seems like Gabi ruined things for ya, Beardie. But calling those kids miscalculations is almost the same as called them failed abortions. Yikes.
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I’m still very confused about this page, about the conversation between Levi and Zeke. Of course Levi would want to kill the one who killed Mike, got other soldiers to die and was heavily involved in Erwin’s death, not to mention he promised Erwin he would take down the beast titan. And, no matter how much he has to team up with Zeke now, Levi keeps his word.
And well, this was it. I don’t have anything else to complain about. I hope y’all enjoyed this if you reached this line. Maybe if I read chapter 106, i’ll add more to this,
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