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#anyway one day i Will see a therapist & then ! it will be over 4 u bitches
gettonight · 3 months
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hiiii! seen a couple of people do this, plus i realized i don't appreciate my mutuals as much as i should. and since the year is ending (literally today), i thought i'd appreciate y'all for a lil bit.
→ if the tagging irritated you, i apologize 🙏🏾. if i missed you, lmk, i was 100% half asleep while making this! (this is actually so embarrassing ngl. but i luv yall 🫶🏾)
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(🎧 : avian) → @sensivs
starting off with my pookie with a beautiful (horny) brain. im dead fucking serious i have zero idea how we became mutuals (🧍🏾‍♂️). i just remembering talking to you one day, and the we were having full conversations in dms lmaoo. an emoji ring, helios, an unborn baby (??), and multiple fic ideas...now we're at the end of the year. i really appreciate you and all of your chaotic energy, it made me laugh! and all of your prompts are immaculate (🤌🏽). i await the days you post more fics or drabbles so i can support you the way you have me! :) luv u pooks, i def wanna ramble u more about hcs!
→ (i sound like im about to die omg)
(🎧 : snail/seraph) → @flimsyichigo
again, zero fucking idea when we became mutuals (i don't remember shit). we don't talk too often but i be seein you likeing my horrendously down bad and chaotic thoughts...i appreciate you bro (🙏🏾). i love your fluffy blue lock sruff, and your overall vibes are (yes, through the screen) amazing! thank you for dealing with my bullshit.
→ (as i type this, i realize just how many mutuals i have jeez, (half of which i barely talk to but still))
(🎧 : ame) → @pastelclovds
ameeeee, number 1 ive always loved your writing (iterally giggling and kicking my feet as i press the like button). your themes r so fucking gorgeous omg. we don't talk as often, but i love when we do interact. i hope we can more (im just easily embarrassed).
→ (i sound like a teenager leaving a love letter in a locker. omggggg)
(🎧 : ace ) → @acefantasyy
another person who puts up with my horrendously down bad bullshit takes. i applaude you for dealing with my ass lmaoo. but, on another note, i smile when i see you in my notes (no, i didn't originally mean that 2 b a joke). i really appreciate the reply you made when i went on a little break, thank you! i hope you continue to deal me, and i hope we interact more!
→ (i really gotta start talkin 2 yall more)
(🎧 : riri) → @pynkkgeto
we're friends irl. i don't have 2 say shit 4 u (luv uuu 🫶🏾)
(🎧 : rome) → @satocidal
yet another person who delt with my nonsense lol. you're quite busy, so you won't see this for a second. but thank you for being awesome and making me laugh with your naobito jokes. thank for the reply you left when i was the one going on break. hope all goes well for you!
(🎧 : idk ur name TvT) → @infrunamie
i feel so bad omg. but i wanted to appreciate your writing for a sec. whether its a drabble, headcanons, a fic, or just 100 words, your brain is miraculous when you write cuz it always leads to me wanted more. seriously, i love it. i was actually shocked you followed me, literally looked up to your writing ong (🙏🏾). i love it when you show up in my notes even if it's just a like. thank you for your reply when i went on break, trust, all of them got me through those shitty ass exams! ty!
→ (im sure this isn't what my therapist meant by being outgoing but im gunna do ts anyway)
(🎧 : spirit) → @spiritfrvr
literally the best vibes on earth i swear. your blog is like a fluffy hug omg. and (imo), you kinda bring that over to other blogs. i'd really like to talk to you more and ramble about random shit! :)
(🎧 : arlan) → @asuyaka
your drabbles r so cuuutee! i love them so much omg. especially the taking care of suguru one! i was surprised you liked my writing sm, and i love yours the same! i really appreciate the little reply under the break post and the christmas tree! seeing notifs of u makes me smile!
(🎧 : qi) → @yaekiss
i don't think we've been mutuals for too long, but omg we reeally should speak more!! i loved your message on the christmas tree! i love the vibe and look of your blog omg. i hope we can interact more!
(🎧 : juno) → @arlertdarling
hi junooo! ty for the message on my christmas tree, and i agree! we really should interact more! you seem like a realllly cool person, plus im on my fucking knees for your writing, dead serious. hope we can talk more, i hope you have a great 2024!
→ (srsly, y tf do i sound like im moving far away or smth TvT)
(🎧 : najma) → @honeybleed
ilysm ong. number one, we cousins (😔✊🏾; im joking pls help), number two, your theme was downright gorgeous (still is), number three, your writing it delicious. i haven't had too much time lately, buuut, i love how you post content that isn't completely smut (as a smut blog that fails at angst lol). its nice to get a break and see fluffy or angsty stuff in the tags instead of the same repeated material. you know you what you like and you stand firm in what you say (i need 2 b more like u fr), and your overall vibes are amazing! i love seeing your anime takes omg. i hope we can interact more in 2024!
→ (that kinda rhymed...and unrelated, but im listening to the mean girls soundtrack or 4 hours of sleep writing this)
(🎧 : yoru) → @dilfverz
number one, thank you for the messege on my christmas tree. number two, your so cool (😭). i love your themes and your writing, how you interact with ppl and anons is funny lol. literally look up to your writing ngl. i super appreciate your for explaining genshin impact to me, cuz im definitely not playing that damn game lol. your reblogs and likes in my notes make me wanna cry ngl. thank you for being so cool! (🙏🏾)
→ (am i over using emojis? i am so tired omg)
(🎧 : sy) → @wrizzesley
we just became mutuals like a week ago lmaoo. but i love your writing so much. and your themes?!?! (:O). i know damn well that shit is time consuming and exhausting, i applaud you, i could never lol. but anyway, i hope we can interact more in this new year. i think your really cool!
(🎧 : astro? idk im so sorry) → @astroknottt
i love your writing holy fuck. but other than that, i love it when you reblog my stuff! esp with those little comments, they've given me a bunch of motivation. and seeing you write such toe curling shit, that gives me motivation too! hope we can interact some more in the new year!
→ (pls ignore my silent pleas for help in these notes, but my vision is wonky. i promise im going to sleep in a second)
(🎧 : ) → @naee0
your probably locked out of tumblr again lol. but if you see this, thank you for your chaotic energy! and even if it was one sentence, what you sent on thr break post, i really appreciate it! even if you or me aren't on tumblr much, i hope we can interact a bit more! you're pretty cool! and i loved those drabbles. i hope your doing great!
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PRODUCER MESSEGE: "i think that was all. again, if i missed you, please lmk. i might have been blind (my eyes prolly look like that squidward meme). but i appreciate all of you! thank you, and pls dont hate me 🙏🏾"
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tangledinlove · 2 months
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Had all these thoughts at 3am bc #hotgirlshaveinsomnia so if any of this is scrambled or doesn’t make sense that’s why but anyways that is neither here nor there 
I know it won’t work by Gracie Abrams (before we dive into this I need you to know I made myself nauseous w this one) 
“I left you here
Heard you keep the extra closet empty
In case this year
I come back and stay throughout my 20s
What if I won't?
How am I supposed to put that gently?
And down the road
You will love me until you resent me” 
No thoughts just this from Luke’s pov bc like he left killer and he knows she’s just waiting for him to have a revelation and come back but he can’t won’t 
especially the line “you will love me until you resent me” bc like killers still so fucking in love w him and yk she’s just going over every single interaction in her head trying to find the signs that could have helped her stop this but she was just too blinded to see it :/
“What if I’m not worth the time and breath I know you’re saving?” 
Luke just KNOWING he’s too far gone for killer to reach anymore and part of him is like kinda questioning whether or not he’s even doing the right thing anymore bc surely if it was right killer would have gone w him???
“The call was tough 
But you’re better off, I’m being honest 
So won’t you stop holding out for me when I don’t want it?”
Mainly the last line bc killers still holding out hope but Luke knows he isn’t gonna go back but part of it is just killing him inside bc he misses her sm yk 
“And part of me wants to walk away 'til you really listen”
Luke after it all comes out thinking killer just needs time to kinda calm down and accept everything and realize she should go w him 
“I'd hate to look at your face and know that we're feeling different”
I make myself sick w these btw 
“'Cause part of me wants you back, but
I know it won't work like that, huh?”
You’re smart I don’t have to explain everything 
Kk so all that was Luke NOW KILLER (shout out to Gracie Abrams’ lyrical genius)
“Why won't you try moving on for once? That might make it easy”
Killer being mature and just wanting Luke to accept everything and come to peace and just try to move on w his life yk (istg if that camp had a therapist this never would have happened)
“I know we cut all the ties, but you're never really leavin'”
I mean this is like the love of her life her other half her freakin soulmate no matter how hard she tries she can never really get over him 
“And part of me wants you back, but
I know it won't work like that, huh?”
Sigh 
And to top it off w one that works for both of them: 
“Just brush me off
Cause I’m your ghost right now your house is haunted”
I’m sure you’re looking forward to the day when you’re done w this series so I’ll stop spamming you abt it BUT TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY 
- <3
how do i even prepare myself for this. and i know it wont work????3)3&4 i need a sec..
Okay and it was so much worse than i thought itd be 😍. like thinking about killer holding out hope for him and not letting anyone take his bunk at camp and keeping all of his things thinking he’s coming back 😭😭 MAN FUCK HIM.
BUT…. hes just a boy….. “youll love me until you resent me” 😵‍💫 he knows he hurt her but cant go back 💔 dreading the day when her love for him turns into hatred WHYYY WOULD U SAY THIS.
him knowing hes too far gone :(( omfg
thinking about luke wanting killer to stop caring about him… ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN IM SICK
NOW WE’RE ONTO KILLER???? R U CRAZY
thinking of her wanting him to make it a clean split. what the fuck
HES NEVER REALLY LEAVING!!!! EVER HE WILL HAUNT HER FOREVER
WTF I JUMPED?? if u couldnt tell i was typing out my responses as i read through and the last line literally being about being each others ghost…
<3 i should’ve known it was u at the scene of the crime. ur incredible
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cicadangel · 4 months
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erm.! diary 12/4
hi i havent been online in a bit or written any diary entries recently bc well i was really depressed and then i just like forgot or whatever. but uhmmm life updates sorta/just how im doing right now.
i will start with the good news :-) i am not depressed! ive been feeling good pretty consistently for the past 2 weeks i think? ive been happy enough to be able to function normally and do all the stuff i need to do. also school swim started so i got to see my crush (the one i talked abt a bunch last year) and i actually need him so bad he's so fine i need him. not much has happened w him (in terms of moments or whatever) but it will soon trust!!!!!! also ive been feeling a bit more confident lately in terms of how i think guys percieve me so i hope maybe that will inspire me to make a move but probably not. oh well.
as for everything else. well. i have been having issues with that one bitch "friend" ofc hoping to hit her with a car sometime soon. but thats not rly new ig. i am kind of having issues too tho with one of my other friends bc he's being weird and annoying. recently hes been extremely sensitive abt just everything which is whatever except he won't tell me, he'll just get upset and try to get me to ask him if he's upset except i won't play that game ugghhhhh if u have a problem with me tell me bc i wont understand otherwise!!! i cannot possibly fathom what he's got wrong with him about me so im not even gonna try. if he wants to fix it he can use his words otherwise no bueno it is not happening!!!!
he's also been like. weird to me recently. we're in psychology class together and we're gonna be at the "abnormal behavior" unit soon (which is mental illnesses) and he keeps saying ohhhh we're almost at your unit we're almost there when it's like stop thats actually so annoying. i am abnormal and crazy but that's not ur place to say? i dont talk to my friends abt my mental illness struggles but i guess it is obvious there's smth wrong with me or whatever but it's just annoying. i will talk abt how im against involuntary commitment to psych wards and how sooooo many therapists only end up doing more harm than good and my problems with the whole mental health industry and the modern understanding of it bc it's smth im rly passionate abt, but he just brushes me off as if i dont have first hand experience with all of the terrible ways psychiatry and the mental health industry can fuck people up???? i also feel weird talking to him in general sometimes bc i know he'll bring me up to his therapist (because he constantly mentions it) and i feel like i cant talk to him bc he's gonna tell her and that just puts a weird strain on the relationship. like his therapist knows me, but just from his pov and that kinda weirds me out im ngl.
oh i also got in a fight w my mom today. actually we're still fighting. it was over something soooo insignificant but i got so overly angry like i always do and now im going to make it ruin the rest of my day because i am insufferable. she's just been really angering me lately also ive been feeling destructive which is complicated. i dont rly like the term "splitting" but it's def what ive been doing a lot lately. ugh. also i like dont know what to do with my bpd "diagnosis" it makes me angry and like i just have so many problems with it in so many ways REGARDLESS if i actually have it or whatever which i could talk abt for hours. in some ways it's nice to have a label for what ive been going through my whole life but in most ways i am like not too happy with the fact that ive been handed a disqualification from ever being upset again. if i am, it'll just be because im a crazy borderline! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. more on that whole mess later sorry
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snaileo · 1 year
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Top 5 batshit characters you’ve encountered
in Nooooo particular order...hmmm i really gotta think about this cuz i feel there are Easy ones i could list. but then again this isnt objective, nor do i need to dig deep for this to be a nice list. 1. Umataro Tenma
Of course I feel the first i should mention is Umataro Tenma. like I can't start this list off any other way, this man recreated his own son in the form of a robot and then abandoned him when his senses came to him ( but they left as soon as they showed bc man was back on his bullshit next day) like truly. Batshit King. and thats only his most well know Shit. like this one time he deliberately went back in time, i dont even remember what for, i think it was steal the not Yet Awake atom, and his younger self SEES HIM and LIGHTS HIM UP. theyre BOTH batshit young and old
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like. i feel like we dont talk about how tenma was strapped enough.
2. Terry Silver
The next batshit queen on my mind recently is none other than Terry Silver. It Is Very Normal And Well Adjusted Behavior to terrorize a teenager, torturing him physically and emotionally, all because your Bestie, Your Cinnamon Fucking Apple, told you to. You know. Very Normal Behavior for people in their idk. 40s. Dude is a coked up billionaire and he wanted to play the part of Humble Down to earth man so well that he bought a beat up truck, all just to fuck with daniel.
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And Oh Totally normal to go through extensive therapy, turning your life around and overcoming it all, only for it all to be undone because?? Oh?? My Wrongdoings CAnnot BE UNDONE??? BY SAYING IM SORRY???" like the moment he realized daniel wasnt gonna accept his sorry ass excuse it was Over. 30 years of therapy down the toilet.
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3. Diva
Here's a more tragic one. The me from 6 years ago would kill me right now for even posting her face because I use to be SUCH a stickler for spoilers regarding her but idc right now
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ANYWAY shes for real batshit and shes one of those characters who you can be sympathetic towards, the tragedy of knowing how she got to be this way but god you deserve everything coming to you. There are many things she does as truly batshit but an often forgotten one is stealing the shoes of a man she just killed. And she's later shown putting them on, before continuing her killing spree and doing something that altered the trajectory of the story forever
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she also has an operatic voice, which her singing alone is an omen for bad things to come
4. The Monarch
This is a more recent one as rock had showed me The Venture Brothers and i hate this man. I hate him and i love him. I don't have much to say other than i want to bully him I genuinely want to bully him
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hes just so pathetic. he didnt want rusty getting therapy because he couldnt shit on his day , because well...he was in therapy and theres rules, so he killed his therapist so he'd be free. to. Shit on his day like i dont kno waht to tell you.
5.Hannibal
this one may feel cheap but understand that like. him being batshit is the greatest thing ever .and hes def one of my favs in terms of being batshit. he made the show such a wild ride and like Cookie I am Looking at you we WILL watch Hannibal (tv show) idk wanna say anything else for spoilers but yeah theres some batshit characters for u
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cody-apexart · 1 year
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Day 10
So i talked to my therapist and another Vietnamese person at the cultural meet up a couple days ago about the abortion horror movie-- they havn't seen it, but it sounds like its less about the topic of abortion and more about the Vietnamese culture and different religious view points around death, killing things, and karma. interesting ! anyway, I cried in therapy and then bought myself some yanyans and soju on the walk home. so fun to get a lil treat! like i felt good when i left, did some good thought exercises, or visualization therapy, whatever you wanna call it, but as i walked through the privately owned waterfront development that I had watched the sunset in the night before, back across the bridge to my side of the canal I was rly like 'holy shit fuck this world.' In NY i work in the building associated with Domino Park in Williamsburg, part of my salary is funded directly by the developers. This is a job I wouldn't be able to have in my own neighborhood, because if i was taking payment from the developers causing displacement in my own neighborhood, i think a lot of the people i advocate and organize with would stop fucking with me or taking me seriously. I feel pretty bad about it, like why is it okay I work a job in Williamsburg, where i dont live, that I would never work in my hometown of Flushing? That is to say that making me go to therapy in the private waterfront mega development is like a cruel joke. like, the first thing i clocked when I came here was these six huge towers on the other side of the canal, and now u send me to cry about my feelings there?? maybe i'm a little too sensitive to the impacts of luxury waterfront development, because as you may be able to tell, advocacy around displacement and waterfront development actually consumes all my free time. also btw, the therapist confirmed the waterfront access is privately owned, as I assumed. Every time i cross over the canal it takes all my energy to not climb down this ladder under the bridge. I need to keep reminding myself i am a stranger in a strange land and should probs not trespass. but if i were in my own neighborhood, i wouldn't think twice.
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the motorbike food tour tonight was fun. in my art practice i give a lot of tours, but always forget i'm a tour guide, until i tell someone about what I do and they're like "so you're a tour guide?" Me and my student tour guide vibed about the pains of touring people around. it was a fun experience, and funny to see how him and his other tour guide co-workers kinda just circle around each other with diff tourists throughout the evening-- all the tours start at the same time and go to the same places. he said they go to the same places every night, he's been eating the same food with tourist 3-4 times a week every week for 3 months since hes had this job. if i were a local i would probably find this method of touring incredibly annoying. He took me to the Thích Quảng Đức statue commemorating the monk that burned alive in the street advocating for religious freedom. He noted that the photos of the event that were distributed globally in the 1960's edit out the gas canister because it makes it look more profound and like he acted alone. You can see the bad 1960's photoshop blur in the left side of the image under the car tier. super interesting note on propaganda. Im glad I didn't come here without a guide, i would not have known that. I asked if this act of protest was effective, and if it worked to get what the Buddhist community wanted-- he said it got global eyes on the issue due to the distribution of the images. I mentioned to him that an american guy burned himself alive on the supreme court steps because of climate change last year, he was very surprised that there was basically no media coverage of that and he had not heard about it.
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The tour groups kept circling around one another when we arrived at a public housing complex. we were basically walking through the projects taking photos, like honestly not a nice thing to be making a spectacle out of the people living in public housing projects. all these tour groups climbed 2-3 flights of stairs and walk around these peoples front doors, it happens every night. super obnoxious tbh. perhaps regrettably, I couldn't help but snap some pics, the lanterns were still up from the tet holiday, and the lighting was just right. These types of developments are what the book im reading is about, titled "building socialism: the afterlife of east german architecture in urban vietnam". I shared a photo of the cover before, these buildings look almost identical.
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He pointed out the water tower and then we left.
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eyeless-jack62002 · 2 days
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You know im mentally fucked when im here again
Also to those posting in these tags u can put the squiggle line so ur not jumpscaring ppl and less likely to get reported so fast.
Not me on my 3rd acc. Tho yall really help me stay clean. My partner started back in Novemberish maybe sooner. Right after our 4 y anniversary. And then she just dropped it on me. She knew i was trying to stay clean for her and i was doing such a good job. I only thought about it and would scroll here to "get my fix" its an addiction and i dont think ppl realize that. She brought my favorite drvgs into the house and hid it from me for months. Tho she doesnt even know i have a tumblr. Shes starting therapy now finally. And me too. I have an appt next week. I havent been since i was 12. Im scared. I dont trust therapists. I wish i could just cvt head to toe. All over everywhere. Id be exactly how i wanna be. I want this. But i cant. Gotta be around for my partner. Even tho she didnt want to for me. I told her if she wanted we could together but that we wouldnt be same ever again. I wish shed said yes but thats just jack. He clouds my thoughts with his own. Ik im sick. I wish she never told me. Ive been spiraling for months but i have to shove that down so i can help her get better. I warned her. She knew i was trying ro get better but she still fucking did it behind my back for months!! I almost broke up with her. I wnated so bad to run away and never see her again. But whats the price of choosing to love someone but urself. Id give my entire being up for her and in a way i do. Ive just been so hurt and its all i can think about. I threw away my fucking stash for her!! I regret that somedays. Today especially. We had to drain our fucking saving acc bc of her. She kept skipping work and we kept having less and less financial stability. Still dont but were starting to recover from that but barely. Its like she fucking ignored all of my advice as someone who has been selfh@rming for over a decade. Fuck what i have to say tho. The worst part of it all she cvt the same way and places as my quail as my ruby did. Fucked. She didnt know that tho. And i was finally fucking comfortable with telling her about my self h@arm and she fucking did it anyways. And she told me as if it was her telling what we her having for dinner. I cant even cry anymore over this. Why does this all still bother me. I have no tears left. I admit i screamed a lot. I hit her cvts slapped them. You didnt feel the pain then but u feel it now?? It hurts now? And she said to me "i thought you would have noticed" so snarky. Why the fuck would i think my partner who knows of my history would fucking betraw me like this. And then to be a bitch about it and ask for MY HELP!?!? TEH FUCKING INSANITY. She doing better now tho. Good for her. Ive never been okay. And i dont think i will be. I dont want to get better. Being sick feels too good. And eventually me subbing out cvting for w33d will get old eventually. It always does. Nothing can scratch this itch i have so badly in me. Its like my insides scream to be let out. Its like an energy that flows out with the red. She doesnt understand what cvtting is for me. She said she wanted to die. But knowing you wont die is what keeps me held. I have sold my soul. Im bound. Ruby stopped when we broke up. And i told her i did as well. I know were both liars but thats why ill always have a place in me for ruby. I love my partnerbut if she wants to replace ruby she can be my guest. But replaceing ruby will just make you into a ruby. And no one wants that. I love my partner and im clean for her. Why couldnt she do that for me.
I feel like im in my wattpad days in here. Jacks old diary. But he likes it here better. Anyways if u made it this far enjoy a gif from one of my current special interest show 🖤 -t and jack
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goofyahhvents · 1 month
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another little venty vent cause fuck people
i hate myself. I actually hate myself. u hate my body. I hate my personality. I hate my brain. I want to go to my friends but they're always either doing great or terribly and I don't want to ruin their mood or make it worse with my issues. I actually wanna k!ll myself again, for the first time in 4 months. not my goofy constant imma kms like genuinely just need an inconvenience to shove me over the edge rn. I feel so stupid talking about what's going on in my head but sometimes this helps.does anyone else ever daydream about something terrible happening and think about what everyone's responses would be based off of your experiences with them, cause I do. and i realized mhow much people wouldn't care. I hope maybe one day they will care. I want to talk so bad to by bestfriend but she's literally getting proposed to tomorrow and I don't wanna ruin that. (btw they've only been together 4 months and I think it's a great idea eventually but not for two teenagers who haven't even made it passed the 1 year mark.) but nobody knows what to do if I cry lol, I have the emotional tendencies of a man. I honestly just want to break tf down and have someone there to comfort me and hold me but obviously I'm some unlovable ass who has never been in a good relationship. and honestly I'm gonna need my ex to stop pretending like I'm talking shit about her when ik she knows it's true. and istg if bro doesn't stop saying "you did look how that worked out" every time I say fuck you am going to bash my head against a brick wall because I FUCKING KNOW BRO you're literally the one who broke up with me even if it seems like we never actually dated and we never "broke up" dude I know please stop reminding me I wasn't as important to you as you were to me I know this shit by now. I'm mostly over it but some days she will not shut up about it and I wanna slap her cause I think she knows what she's doing to me at that point. I just want someone who will genuinely love me and actually take care of me. but anyways I've started counting calories and eating less and relapsing more again so that's fun. but if I tell the one person I can tell they'll only be like same. I try to ask her how she's genuinely doing but she always brushes me off and I don't know how to really express my feelings. she's not my therapist though so idrk why I want to tell her. probably because sometimes I only feel like I'm there to do things for them not just because I'm their friend. I kinda expected and I think even wanted her boyfriend to notice and say something to her but he doesn't have social skills so they can never see how i deflate when they talk about certain topics that strike a nerve. also idk why they say I'm not fat, we all know I am so why won't they just admit it. I do truly hate my body and they know so maybe that's why. I've tried so hard to look better but I just cant.
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christphrnolan · 1 year
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ok let’s trying this again. big ass rant(s) here bc I have no one to vent to and I can’t see my therapist for a while bc I turned 26 and still trying to figure out how my new health insurance works
uhhhhh I feel guilty for a lot of shit, especially when it comes to me impulsively spending the hell out of my paychecks . I used to volunteer at the animal shelter bf covid happened and I still haven’t gone back after adopting my kitten a year ago and I feel super awful about that. I follow them on instagram and saw where they were having a christmas party-like thing for all the animals and they each had a stocking u could put treats or toys in and bc my selfish ass spent my whole paycheck already I had no money to buy stuff and didn’t go. I used to walk the dogs there all the time in the spring and summer for their doggy day out program but I haven’t done that since covid and it makes me so sad and feel so guilty that I start to cry whenever I think of the dogs there. Then i see those goddamn aspca commericals and I cry more bc they’re showing all these animals out in the cold and it reminds me of my cat that died last month bc my dad didn’t let her in the house so she fucking froze to death and I feel guilty bc I should’ve gone out and looked for her and brought her in anyway, I miss my cat. her death could’ve been avoided just like her sister’s and its my fault.
I miss having real friends instead of all these superficial ones I have. I don’t have a best friend and haven’t had one in 3 or 4 years. But I’m scared to be close to people bc I get attached to them and then I turn super clingy bc I’m scared they’ll leave and in doing so i fulfill my own prophecy and they leave bc I’m too much for them. I don’t want to put anyone through that ever again. But I’m so lonely and I never have anyone to do anything with. I do everything by myself and I hate it. I miss my old friends. Everyone has either grown apart, ghosted me or left me bc of me being clingy, which I take responsibility for. It’s so hard making friends as an adult even though I’m in college. All these students are 7-8 years younger than me and I just cant connect with them.
I’d like to have a s/o but again it’s hard connecting to people romantically at all for me. It’s not for lack of trying either. But as someone in their mid twenties, the people I end up liking are either married, have kids, both, or they are already in long-term relationships. I know I’m not pretty, I never have been and I’m well aware of it. I’ve tried dating apps but they’re so shitty and so ingeniune to me. And being bi in a rural, bible belt area of the usa doesn’t help either. It seems like all of the lgbt people around me are already in relationships and friendships with each other and I feel excluded from it all. I’ve only ever had one romantic relationship. It was long distance and only lasted 6 months, so I don’t exactly have experience when it comes to anything romantic at all. Like I said, most people my age already have someone. And ofc the last guy I liked already had a partner and a kid. Which is mind boggling to me and idk why bc he’s 30-some so that’s very normal for someone in his and my age range. Romantic relationships are just so foreign to me. I’ve never held someone’s hand, or kissed anyone or what have you, I’ve never had any of that even though I deeply crave it, even if it’s just platonic. Maybe  that’s why I write those stupid reader insert fics bc I’m *that* lonely and it’s the only way I can feel any sort of love.
Teenage me would be so fucking disappointed in me and in life in general. I’ve been told for over a decade ‘it gets better’. when? fucking when? When I’m 40? I don’t want to wait that long to be happy. I have bpd for fucks sake It’s a miracle I’m even alive tbh. I’m not anywhere where I wanted to be at 26. nothing has changed in 10 fucking years. I’m still in school, I still live with my parents, I have no real career, I have done nothing in my life worth anything. nothing to show for the 26 yrs I’ve been alive. And every time I try to do better for myself it blows up in my face, Every.Fucking.Time. It’s like I;m in quicksand and the more I try to ‘save’ myself, the faster I sink.
I want to be loved. I want to be comforted and held. I’m so afraid of physical touch bc I’ve never really experienced it in the best ways. I don’t want to be alone.
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enragedbisexual · 3 years
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tags contain Major Personal Life Venting don’t read if that makes u uncomfy !
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silversatoru · 3 years
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Could I request for some heavy fucking angst no. 4, for Bakugou x Reader? 😙 love u
ur always coming thru with the best reqs b love u
this got so dark sorry tw: abuse, mental illness
angst #4: you flinch while arguing with them
bakugou katsuki
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
things haven’t been good between you and katsuki lately, in fact they were worse than they’d ever been before. his notorious anger was blazing to all new highs and it was exhausting to keep up with. life with katsuki consisted of very high highs and very low lows and rarely did you get a rest in that space inbetween the two.
and your body is battered with bruises lately, but you’d rather not comment on why. it’s easy enough to blame the purpled patches of skin on hero training, so no one ever really thinks anything of it.
you’d never tell anyone where those bruises come from, even katsuki has no idea. it’s a twisted secret that you have to keep to yourself to protect the person you love most.
tonight he came home in a fit of anger, blinded by rage and spouting off irrational lies that his brain have convinced him were true. i guess he saw you laughing with eijiro today and it was enough to set him off.
you hated when he got like this, because it was impossible to bring him down. you were trying to explain that eijiro was just a friend, and that he knew this — all three of you were friends. you told him over and over how much you loved him, cherished him, how you didn’t want anyone else, but his eyes were still ablaze with an unwavering flame.
it wasn’t until he threw his arm in the air out of frustration and you flinched at his movements that the look in his eyes softened. his raised arm fell to the side and he reached out and pulled you into a tight hug instead.
“you’re flinching? i’d never do that to you, you know that,” his voice was still deep and raspy but it was so much sweeter and softer now.
“i know,” you lied, mumbling against his chest with small sobs starting to work their way through your body.
“what bastard made you this way? i’ll fucking kill him,” his voice was angry again, but not at you.
your heart broke into thousands of pieces as you forced yourself to lie to him for the countless time.
“my parents katsuki, i’ve told you this,” you mumbled between sobs, silently apologizing to your parents for telling such a terrible lie about them.
but how were you supposed to tell him the truth? how were you supposed to tell the boy who loved you more than anything that he was also the one dotting your skin with bruises? it wasn’t his fault — it really wasn’t, or that’s what you were trying to convince yourself of anyway. that he couldn’t help that he fell into these rage-fueled fits that he had no control over and never remembered afterwards.
“but you’re with me now, right? i won’t ever let those fuckers touch you again,” he stuffed his face into your hair, squeezing you tight inside his arms.
so how were you supposed to tell him that he was the one who hurt you when he made you feel so loved in moments like these? the good moments outweigh the bad ones, right? he’s seeing his therapist weekly and they’ve just prescribed him a new med, so things will get better soon, right? one day the two of you will be able to live happily ever after without his uncontrollable episodes interfering, right?
maybe, but also probably not. katsuki’s rage-blackouts were becoming more frequent and taking the brunt of them was horribly exhausting. you’d gotten lucky that the horrified look on your face snapped him out of it before it could start tonight. normally he’d completely lose control — break things, cuss you out, and sometimes your body got caught in the collateral damage too. and then he’d come back with no recollection of what happened and sleep for a day straight because his body was so tired from the outburst.
katsuki is a victim of himself, that much is true, but you’re also a victim of his illness and you wonder how much longer you’ll be able to last.
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i-cant-sing · 3 years
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Hey, hypothetically asking: Is there a way for me to stop feeling emotions? I mean... having them is kinda hurting me at times. I usually have trouble expressing myself but then I stumbled across your blog and I decided to give it a shot. I'm really sorry if I'm bothering you with this, I just need to vent feelings to someone. My school's adding so much of stress in my life for me, I keep having test after test and I guess I'm scared that I'll be a failure if I fail. And on top of that, I barely get 4 hours of sleep everyday because of all the extensive notes I always keep writing and we keep getting various projects. Oh, and I guess you could say that I'm also kind of a loner? I also don't know why it's so hard for me to love someone either platonically or romantically. I guess it's because I'll never be good enough and I might be scared of attachment. I might have philophobia the fear of love but at the same time, I'm also scared of being alone. Wow, isn't that ironic? Sometimes I feel like the pain in my chest is getting too heavy, I feel like giving up... but then the only things that's keeping me sane are the fics that I write everyday. And another ironic thing: I keep giving people advice on things like not giving up on life and having faith that things will get better but I'm not so great at following my own advice. Then again, no one ever is
Sorry I dumped my feelings on you, I know some people might think I'm being over dramatic and making a big mountain out of a mole hill or I could be an attention seeker. But after writing this, I kinda feel half better and once again, damn... this thing was really long
This feels like my past self sent this to me lol. Anyways, anon I'm not really great at giving advice, and I'm not really good at expressing emotions either, and I'm 20 and in college, so I haven't got my shit figured out yet.
Look I know how stressful school and exams can become, and believe me, the older you grow, you're gonna have other kinds of stressful problems. But... I suppose the way I've dealt with pretty much any difficult situation, especially during exam season, is to talk to myself. And it honestly helps me figure out a lot of things in life, and also helps give myself reality checks and realise when I'm in the wrong. It's also very entertaining too. So, be your own therapist, your own motivator.
You know, I once failed a really big, important test- actually 3 exams. But even at that time, while I was sitting in the dark, listening to Renegade by Styx, I told myself: "This too shall pass." That no matter how bad things seem, bad situations don't last forever.
Now, worrying and stressing over your studies/school won't do anything. Whenever I feel like I'm about to breakdown, I clap my hands and then focus on palms, take deep breaths and tell myself "I got this." But as students we are bound to be burnout, so I recommend listening to music in the dark, taking a walk, or even reading some short story or something. We all need a little escape from reality, that's why fiction is my favourite genre.
I highly recommend that you take some days off from school or at least a break from studying, because in the longterm you'll study more this way. You may think that you would fall behind like this, say maybe by 20%? But you'd still be 80% prepared, and that's way better than not taking a break and falling behind by 30%.
You sound like a teen and let me tell you girl, you can literally do nothing to stop yourself from embarrassing yourself. Nothing. I cringe everytime I go to my Facebook and see the kind of teen I used to be🤮🤮🤮 I'm not like that anymore 😭 But important thing to remember is that everyone else is also constantly worried about embarrassing themselves, so they probably don't even remember what stupid thing you did.
Man just chill out a bit, like physically tell yourself to chill out when things start piling up. Like take a nap, listen to music, read some fics then get back to studying. Worry about relationships later, you got your whole life for that. Don't worry about what others are thinking, just focus on yourself.
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U said u write fics? Anon, send the link🔪
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bts-teaspoonff · 3 years
Text
Fangirl pt. 1
Genre: Romance, Slow Burn, Idol A/U
Pairing: BTS OT7 x reader
Rating: PG
Summary: Y/N, being a huge fangirl, finally got her chance to work alongside her favorite idol group as a backup dancer. She gets to know each member personally and realizes that her feelings may be more than fangirl-idol attraction.
Word Count: 3K
PARTS: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | .... masterlist
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“It’s finally here!” I shouted as I bolted from my room towards the front door to greet the delivery man carrying my package. Even without looking at the mirror, I could feel my smile going up to my ears and my heartbeat furiously echoing through my chest. The delivery man handed me a medium sized box and stared at me as I reach out for the box with a huge smile plastered on my face. I signed the delivery form, closed the door and ran back inside my unit.
I ran to the living room and placed the box on the floor. I turned to my left and hurriedly rummaged for my cutter inside the drawer beside the sofa. I also took my phone on top of the said drawer and placed it on my lap. I swiftly sat down on the floor in front of my package with the cutter ready in my hand when I remembered something. I unlocked my phone and proceeded to video call my brother who’s at work. My brother’s name and his photo appeared on the screen as I wait for him to answer the call.
“Hey Y/N…” His face popped up on my screen. I silently giggled at the angle of his front camera when he answered the call. Not really flattering despite him being good looking. He must have placed the phone on a table directly below his face. “You know I’m at work right? Why did you call? Emergency?” I could hear keyboard sounds in the background. He must be busy typing on the computer as he didn’t bat an eye on his phone while talking to me.
“Yeah I know. I just wanted to share some good news” My camera is facing towards me with just my eyes peeking through screen. I was worried that maybe he’s with some people at work that might see me when he answers the video call and I’m not decent looking right now. “My package has arrived!” I low-key squealed as I pressed the ‘rotate camera’ button on the screen and directed the camera at the package. I could see my brother looking now at the phone. He placed his phone in front of him and leaned it on a stable surface for him to see me properly. He continued to type slowly on his keyboard as he steal glances on his phone screen.
“Don’t tell me…. You bought another merch?” He giggled as he looked at his phone screen and continued to type on his keyboard. He looked back at his computer screen after a second, with a smile on his face. I opened the package with my cutter on one hand and my phone on the other. Tearing through the tape, I can’t contain my excitement as i shrieked when my cutter got through the end of the tape. I released the cutter from my hand and pushed it aside.
“BTS Merch! Oh my god, I have been waiting for these for weeks. I got the latest album, more Tiny Tan figurines, and some concert goods from last tour.” I proceeded to open the box and showed my brother the contents. I felt accomplishment as I look at all the merchandise that has just arrived at home. My ARMY heart couldn’t contain the joy that I have right now. I shot my eyes back on the phone screen and saw my brother smiling as he looked at me through the phone screen.
“Hey, I’m happy you are happy but you know I work in Big Hit right? I work for them?” He stopped typing, took the phone back in his hands and brought the phone close to his face. “I could just easily buy these things for you with my employee discount.” And now his whole face is occupying my phone screen. 
“Jiyong, I know but where’s the fun in that? I want to buy these items using my own money. Well, an employee discount is nice but I don’t want to abuse your privilege as I buy too much of their merchandise.” I snorted at the fact that I really do buy too much of their merchandise. Besides, when I use his employee discount, the items are delivered directly to him as he works inside the Big Hit Building. With the amount of merchandise that I buy, I don’t want to embarrass him and label him as a big fanboy especially with him working so close to the boys.
“If you weren’t my twin sister, I would totally laugh at you. Not that I think you’re crazy but you’re…. loyal” He puts emphasis on the last word. He respects my deep profound respect for the 7 boys but he thinks that maybe I have gone too far with the purchases. He placed his phone back in front of him, leaning on a surface. “Oh before I forget, did you read my email?” I was taken aback with topic change but I’m used to it as he does this all the time. I pressed the ‘rotate camera’ button once again for him to see my face. 
“No, I haven’t opened my email yet. I went home so late last night. My last client in the gym arrived late so we finished late as well. A bummer.” I scoffed as I remembered the fatigue that enveloped my body yesterday. I work as a gym trainer/physical therapist full time and a dance teacher/choreographer as my sideline. I work at my friend’s gym located in the heart of Seoul as a gym trainer. I currently handle 7 clients, some who I have worked with for a few years already. I also teach dance classes at a small dance studio just a few blocks from where I live. Mainly, I handle BTS dance classes because duh, I am a full-blooded ARMY. I really tried to make my passion as a source of income and it warms my heart to see people having fun when I teach them those dances.
“Check it. Anyways, I gotta go. I still have a lot to do. As you know, the company is busy since BTS will be releasing another album sometime this year.” My brother currently works as a Recording Engineer in Big Hit. He used to brag to me that he’ll spend hours with BTS and TXT. I was jealous of course but I am so proud he’s working for them. Whenever I listen to songs from Big Hit artists, I try to think that he has contributed to a lot of songs despite not knowing what exact songs he has worked on. Another reason why I listen and support them.
We both said our farewells and dropped the call. As I took out all the contents of the package unto the floor, I used my phone on the other hand. I opened my mail and saw few unread emails. Some of them were from my subscriptions on Netflix and Spotify, which I barely read. On top of the list was my brother’s mail. I saw the subject “READ THIS FANGIRL!” and I laughed. Here I thought he sent me something urgent or important that needs my utmost attention. Must be another event or merchandise that they’ve yet to announce to the public.
I opened the mail and my eyes were glued to the first line of the message body.
“Big Hit is hiring backup dancers. See the forwarded email below, sis. I think they’re meaning to assign whoever they’ll hire as part of BTS dance team.” Did I just receive this email? It came from my brother so it must be true. He won’t prank me like that. If I apply, there’s no guarantee that I’ll be hired right? That’s too bad if I won’t be hired but there’s nothing to lose if I try to apply.
I left my package scattered throughout my floor and ran towards my laptop lying on my bed. I sat down on the floor beside my bed and opened my laptop. I felt like a kid but here I am, rushing to find my resume to apply for a new job that might eventually change my life.
….
It’s been a week since I applied as a backup dancer for Big Hit. I sent in my resume and a few videos of me dancing to some of their artists’ songs. I’m lucky to have known a lot of BTS’ songs and choreographies by heart and I might have tried to study some of their label mates’ songs as well. I haven’t received a reply back from them and I’m worried that I may not receive any response ever.
Apparently, BTS is known for having only male backup dancers as far as I know so it’s news to me that they’re hiring female backup dancers now. It got me thinking that this might also attract fellow fangirls like me to apply but knowing Big Hit, they wouldn’t want anything scandalous to happen just because they hired female backup dancers. I’m not saying that female dancers lack professionalism but how the boys are the top rank boy group in the country, female fans would be green with jealousy if they see female dancers dancing with them. Some Armies are really protective when it comes to the boys so it’s really shocking to hear that the company is finally considering this.
The day that I got the mail from my brother, I spent half of my day planning what dances to shoot and submit. I chose BTS’ Idol and Singularity, TXT’s Crown and a freestyle dance to Beyonce’s Yonce. I wanted to showcase my range in dancing by carefully choosing a variety of songs. I admit that the reason I may have applied to this job is partly because I’m a fangirl but nonetheless, my passion for dancing is bigger. I have been dancing since I was a kid but I was not this confident at the start. It’s hard to convince me to perform in front of a bigger audience, let alone a stadium full of fans. I slowly got over my fear little by little when I started teaching dance classes at the dance studio. The fear is still there and you may wonder why I am applying for this job when I’m scared shit in performing for a large audience. BTS taught me to love myself and I am really trying my best to go out of my comfort zone. I figured that this may be my best chance in doing so. Also, I get the benefit of working alongside them which is a big plus.
I couldn’t really focus on my job for the whole week. I find myself regularly checking my mail in the hopes of getting a response from Big Hit. 5 days and there’s still no mail. Maybe my email just went to their spam folder or maybe I typed in the wrong mail. On the 7th day while I was pulling out my clothes in the dryer, I heard a ping from my phone from across the hall. I left my phone on my bed and the laundry room is right beside my room. I noticed that the ping was my assigned tone for mails. I hurriedly took out all my warm dry clothes and unto the basket, closed the door of the dryer and turned the lights off in the laundry room.
“New Mail. Subject: Dance Team Application” I saw the notification banner and my heart just jumped out of my chest. I felt my forehead sweating profusely, fingers shaking and my throat closing up as I try to open my phone and check my mail. I silently and swiftly read the contents of the mail. After two seconds, I shrieked at the top of my lungs and threw my phone across my bed. I ran out of my room and in circles around the living room. Good thing I live alone so that I could just celebrate and make loud noises like this. I jumped up and down on the sofa while etching the image of the mail into my head. I buried my head on my pillows and shouted once more, emptying all the air out of my lungs.
I ran back into my room and read the mail again.
“Good day, Miss Y/N.
We have received your application and we are glad to say that we are impressed with your resume and skillset. We would like you to come in our office tomorrow so we can meet and talk personally with our dance team. We are glad to have you join our current dance team. Details of our meeting are expressed below.
Time: 10 am
Address: 42 Teheran-ro 108-gil, Daechi-dong, Gangnam-gu, Seoul, South Korea
Attire: Comfortable Casual
Please look for Mina at the front desk to escort you. Thank you.”
I still can’t believe what I’m seeing. Did I just got accepted? As a backup dancer? For Big Hit? Maybe for BTS? I’m such a lucky fangirl. I can’t wait for tomorrow.
….
It’s a good thing that my schedule is free today. I don’t have any clients in the gym scheduled for today and the dance studio is closed for today. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. I woke up at 6 am as I feel my jitters bothering my sleep. I tried to go back to sleep but I trashed the bed and rolled side to side for about 30 mins so I decided to go for a run. I turned on my Spotify and played my ‘Intense Run Playlist’ which mostly consists of high bpm BTS songs. There’s a jogging path near where I live and the scenery is filled with trees. Very calming, which I really need right now.
I arrived in front of the Big Hit Building around 8:30 am. I made sure to arrive early as I don’t want to be late for the meeting. I’m so anxious right now if I’m allowed to go up as early as 9 am or should I just arrived on time. I lingered outside and paced back and forth at a nearby shade. I wondered if I could visit my brother and stay with him for the mean time.
“Is she a stalker?” I heard whispers coming from my right as I slumped back at the pole where I’m taking shade just across the building. “That’s scary.” Three schoolgirls were standing a few meters away from me. They were staring and smirking at me. I wondered why they would think of me as such then I realized that I wore my hoodie up to cover half of my face.
“I’m not…”
“Good luck stalker-nim. You won’t get a glimpse of the boys.” They giggled and ogled me with judgmental looks with their arms across the chests. “Can you get away from the boys? We don’t want stalker armies like you.”
“As I said, I’m not a stalker and I’m older than you. Why are you talking to me in an informal tone?” I pull my hoodie off my head and slowly tread towards them. They laughed and ran away at the sight of me making my way to them. Sheesh, do I really look like a stalker?
I looked at my watch and it’s still 9:10 am. I guess I could try and visit my brother. The fresh morning air blew gently in my face, as if to welcome me, and be my merry playmate, and the sun looked at me with a warm and tender smile. What a nice start to my day, I thought. I put up my hoodie again and I was comfortable once more with the warmth my mere hoodie gave me.
“I have a meeting in your building today. Do you want to meet up? I’m not due until 10 am. – your adorable look alike” I texted my brother and inserted my phone back in my pocket. I breathed in the fresh breeze and not a second later, my phone pinged. I pulled out my phone to see my brother’s name on the screen.
“Lucky, I’m on a coffee break. I’ll be down in a sec.” he replied. A grin was present on my face as I stood up from where I was leaning. I skipped from across the street towards the building. I looked above at the sky and towards the top of the Big Hit Building and when I returned my gaze back in front of me, I was met by a dark haired man in his mid-twenties. I bumped into him and was knocked down at the side of the street. I exclaimed in pain as I rub my backside.
“Hey look where you’re go…” I looked up and immediately recognized the face. The man was wearing a grey Fear of God shirt paired with black baggy pants. His face was half covered by a black mask and his hair was kept away from his face with a black headband almost occupying his whole forehead.
“You should be the one watching you’re going. Crossing the street while prancing around like that.” He scoffed and continued to make his way towards the building. He didn’t even help me up. I sneered back.
“I’m sorry. I assure you that he’s not usually like this. He’s in a bad mood.” Two hands were suddenly around my elbows, propping me up from the ground. I turned my head and saw a woman around mid-twenties as well. She was carrying an opened big black bag propped on her right shoulder with filled with piles of unruly papers stuck inside. When I finally was able to stand up properly, she took off her hands from me and bowed in apology. She swiftly followed the man and shouted, “Yoongi, wait. I can explain.”
So I was right. It was Suga. All the images of a funny and loving Min Yoongi ran through my mind. Just like a scary movie, it was replaced by a disgusted look he shot at me a while ago. Did he…. Maybe he thought I was a stalker or something? I guess if I really looked like one then I don’t blame him for shooting those looks at me. However, a decent person would help anyone up in that situation.
I beat the dust off my hoodie and slowly treaded towards the building’s entrance. Not a really good way to start my first interaction with anyone from BTS, I thought.
Next part: 2
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briarlovesginny · 3 years
Text
Dream SMP Actor/Show AU
Initial idea from Instagram post by ameramerillo / some of the makeup hcs from comment on post (beanpole_orange)
This is LONG! It has the headcanons, my split-up for Seasons in the time frame of how Seasons are now, and an adapted version from Reddit user (will be credited at bottom). 
(When I say a character name I just mean their actors)
-There’s a whole backup prop room because they’re broken so often
-Cat and Mellohi don’t actually play in a record player (the versions that are tossed around most often, that is), and so someone will spin it on their finger backstage while someone blasts from Spotify (probably WAP)
-They paid So Much Money to make the WAP jokes
-Techno went on wires for Doomsday 
-Speaking of Doomsday, the choreography for the fight scenes took weeks to -perfect, as a long of the shots were continuous
-Dream’s mask is heavy for close-up shots, so he has to have a physical therapist check in to make sure his neck doesn’t get cramped too bad
-Ranboo has to get there so early every day to make sure his makeup goes smoothly-- Techno comes in an hour or so later to get his tusks done. 
-Tubbo actually needs a couple of hours for his makeup after his second canon death by Techno (blast marks)
-Ranboo makes such realistic Enderman sounds that when he panics they just actually used his voice
-When Ranboo’s Dream side would talk, Dream would stand off-set and say his lines; then, in the recording studio for the voiceover, Ranboo would stand in another studio and say the lines so that Dream could react realistically.
-The main prison’s lava was CGI, but the other walls were real.
-They had a montage of George breaking the obsidian block, which they made canonically take hours. Poor George was filming for quite some time (that’s all they did that day)
-L’manberg blowing up the second time was filmed and then the close-ups were; all the actors were on wires and were yanked to their respective spots.
-Shots above the L’Crater (on a pillar or little hill) were filmed with green screen, but times that they walked through it were filmed in an actual hole. 
-They found a separate crater to film the nuke hole in, and no shots were CGI there.
-Philza held a funeral in Wilbur’s changing room for his wings, which only got to be used for the five minutes pre-explosion before they ruined them and then used ripped models after. 
-Puffy bought Dream a rubber ducky!
-Tales From the SMP is a spin-off show that runs parallel to the main one (think Torchwood if you’re a Doctor Who fan)
-Eret had to wear white contacts after the betrayal-- the idea was that his regular eyes were contacts in character to conceal a part of himself from L’manberg (symbolism)
-Dream XD is barely there, but is in pure neon green when he appears. He emits just like. Pure light. He doesn’t wear a mask because no one can see his face anyways (the light)
-Ghostbur isn’t see-through, but he has to go to the make-up stations early as well every morning. He and Ranboo, who still gets there first, bond over being early
-Friend is a real sheep!
-Schlatt had to take lessons to learn how to balance the horns on his head
-Foolish spends some time in the makeup van, but many of his big add-ons are things that slip on and off (vs. Ranboo, whose makeup is made every day, or Techno, whose tusks gets fitted).
-Music motifs are a big deal; one of the most infamous is the Never Meant To Be theme, which is used in many different variations to give subtle foreshadowing to key moments in development of Wilbur and Niki. 
-When Ghostbur’s memory book is read, dim flashes of the memories are shown.
-Wilbur, Dream, BadBoyHalo, Sapnap, Callahan, Awesamdude, and George are the creative producers, though the main ones are Wilbur and Dream. 
-They have a full writing team but the head writers are similar to how the actual SMP runs.
-Seasons are split the same way that they are canonically now, but there are pauses in the way they are released (Season 1A, 1B, etc) in the way that Doctor Who is split at times, with mid-series finales
How the Seasons would be split up (look at the wiki to see what each Era means):
S1A: Before Tommy, After Tommy, War for L’manberg Independence
S1B: After L’manberg War, The L’manbergian Election
S1C: Election Fallout, A New Era, The Manberg Festival
S1D: Festival Aftermath, Manberg-Pogtopia War Era
S2A: Reconstruction Era, Post-Banishment Era
S2B: Vengeance Era, Disunion Era
S3A: Imprisonment Era 
Alternative TV timeline, not based on the current canonical seasons, by Reddit user u/username6702: 
“Season 1
1A - The Beginnings (Community house built, Joffery’s murder trial)
Members: Dream, George, Sapnap, Callahan, Awesamdude, BBH, Alyssa
1B - Server Expansion (Ponk + Punz’s Towers Built, Purpled’s UFO Built
New members: Ponk, Punz, Purpled, Skeppy
Season 2
2A - Tommy Joins And Finds The Discs (Tommy’s House Built)
2B - The Disc War (Socialising Club Built, Fundy’s Secret Base Built, Tubbo’s Base Built)
New members: Fundy, Tubbo
Season 3
3A - The Drug Van (Wilbur’s Ball Built, Drug Van Built, Eret’s Castle Built)
New members: Wilbur, Eret
3B - L’Manberg Forms (Walls Put Up)
Season 4
4A - War Begins (Trees Burnt Around L’Manberg, Cobblestone Walls And TNT Cannons Set Up Around L’Manberg, Tubbo’s House Is Burnt Down)
4B - All Out War (Bow Warfare At The Towers, TNT Set Off At Tommy’s Base And L’Manberg, Eret’s Betrayal, Season Ends With Tommy Giving Up The Discs)
Season 5
5A - Tommy’s Business Ventures (The Park, Brighton Tower, Macbeth, L’Manberg Docks And Subs Built, Dream’s Deal Or No Deal, Church Prime Established)
New members: Jack, Niki, Quackity
5B - Mellohi (Dream Gets Hit By A Train, Tommy Attempts To Scam Dream And Eventually Trades To Get Mellohi Back, One Of The Discs Is Given To Skeppy In Return For Spirit's Remains)
Season 6
6A - The Pet War (Sapnap Kills Fungi, Sapnap & Fundy’s Duel)
New members: Karl
6B - The Election (The Parties Are Formed, The Debate, Season Ends With Schlatt Tearing Down The Walls And Pogtopia Getting Formed)
New members: Hbomb, Schlatt, Techno
Season 7
7A - Schlatt’s Rule (we are going into this season now)”
 I have added how I believe the rest would go using this model.
 7A- Schlatt Administration (Fallout of the Election, Pogtopia is formed, the Manberg Festival, Tubbo’s Execution)
New Members: Antfrost, Drista (guest)
7B- Pogtopian Uprising (Quackity Turns, The TNT Room, Quackity Tries to Grab Power, Fundy Turns, Recruitment for Manberg, Badlands Forms, The Final Pet War, The 16th)
New Members: Philza, Connor 
 Season 8
8A- Reconstruction/ Tubbo Administration (Schlatt’s Funeral, Tommy’s Exile, George’s Dethronement, Tommy Begins Exile)
New Members: Ranboo, Captain Puffy, Lazar, Vikkstar
8B- Post-Banishment (Mexican L’manberg, Blood Vines Appear, Squeeks and Estate Conflicts, Technoblade’s Execution, Quackity vs. Technoblade Duel*) 
*Dream now supports Tubbo’s L’manberg
 Season 9
9A- Vengeance Era (Mr. Beast Events, The Green Festival, Doomsday War)
9B- Disunion Era (Ghostbur’s “Resurrection”, Glatt’s Return, Eggpire, The Disc Confrontation)
New Members: Foolish G, Hannah
 Season 10 (Current)
10A- Imprisonment Era (Pandora’s Vault, Anarchy Rises)
New Members: Charlie/Slimecicle
DREAM SMP WIKI
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letthefrogsbe · 3 years
Text
remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?
cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry. 
Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”
Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.
Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)
Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).
Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.
Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans
ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!
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Camren Timeline (Tittle edited)
Hello, dear Anon.
I’m gonna answer your questions in order.
1) 2012-2016. This is the timeline that I’m gonna explain just because so you can go check based on the concerts, interviews, etc. Compared to the first years, the timeline from 2017 to today is much simpler because they’ve broken up very few times. This one here that I’m gonna explain (2012-2016), is based on what I know and also my theories. You can, as usual, disagree with me.
In January 2017, Camila talked about the evolution of her music during Lena Dunham’s Women of the Hour podcast, by explaining how she created her life story through the songs she wrote. Starting precisely from the age of 15, when she had her first kiss. She practically and inadvertently exposed the lie she has always been forced to tell regarding the famous first kiss she had when she was ‘17’. [The entire podcast has been removed, unfortunately. But you can go listen to the audio posted by 5HxCC News on Youtube, called ‘CAMILA CABELLO TALK FIRST KISS ON PODCAST’.]
According to the calculations, the kiss must have occurred between December 20, 2012, that is when X-Factor ended, and January 17, 2013, that is when they signed the contract with Syco/Epic in Los Angeles. My guess? It happened that same New Year’s Eve when the Cabellos spent it over at the Jaureguis.
Throughout 2013 until the beginning of April 2014, L and C had a strange relationship. They were friends, but they behaved and did things you wouldn’t do with a friend. Doesn’t that ring a bell? Oh, hello ‘Like Friends Do’!
2014: Become official in early April and broke up in late November. Small parenthesis. They were both 17 years old in April 2014. Oh, hello to you too ‘Used to This’!
2015: From the end of December 2014/the very first days of January 2015, to the beginning of April. From mid-July to mid-October. From the beginning of November to almost mid-December, they did a continuous on-again, off-again that lasted throughout 2016.
2016: from almost mid-January to mid-February. From early March to early April. From mid-May to early June. This makes me laugh. Only the first few days of August, then from mid-August to the end of August, and again, in hops the first days of September, and from after those hops, until almost the end of September. From early October to almost mid-October (broke up only for a few days), and then until mid-November. And lastly, only a few days in mid-December.
2) Camila suffers from one of the variants of OCD since she was 8, and despite seeing a therapist since 2013, her OCD was diagnosed at the end of 2015. C also suffers from anxiety, panic attacks, mood disorders, and depression (all linked to her OCD). These are things that we’ve been able to witness with our own eyes on more than one occasion. She’s always tried to bottle everything up and not show herself ‘weak’ in front of people, in front of us fans. The last thing she wanted was to let people know how much she was really struggling, and therefore, she always tried to disguise it as best she could. Many times, even using her humor as a shield. Picture certain events like a time bomb. Picture her depression as a progression ready to explode:
March 2015, mild. October, November, December 2015, and January 2016, medium. From June to August 2016, high, + explosion in early September, which consequently led to the permanent presence of mama Sinu.
Everything has been derived and therefore worsened by: 1) The rhythms that have always been crazy. 2) Having to deal with many people every day. 3) Having grown up in the spotlight and being constantly observed. 4) Labels that told them what to do (through management) even when they just had to breathe. 5) The expectations and the pressure they’d put on her for being chosen as the chosen one. 6) Having her relationship secretly because they’d rather pass her off as a killer rather than queer/bisexual/gay or in any case associate her romantically with a girl. 7) All the hatred constantly received.
And the list goes on… Anxiety consumed her life for a long time. Now comes and goes.
3) Yes, of course Laurinah were there for her. As were Ashlee, Normani, Ally, Hoko, Michel'Le, Lauren (Fuller), Roger, and a few other crew members who were with them on the tour. As were her family, Jenny, Sandra, Marielle, Mariana, Brooke, Megan, Tica, Rebecca, Guido, Steven, Javi, and her other Miami friends.
Guys, Camila is a private person. The fact that she’s private, however, doesn’t mean that at the time or now, she doesn’t have other friends. It wasn’t just Lauren, Dinah, and Ashlee. And as for 5H, of course Mani and Ally were there for her too, contrary to what they want us to believe. Just think about it. And don’t think that only Dinah was their captain. Who was the one who went to Taylor’s ‘1989 Tour’ concert with Camila? Who was the one who went with them to the famous 1975 concert in Los Angeles on April 16, 2014? Who was the one who tried to protect them from the paparazzi in London in 2015? And instead, who was the one who always helped them lie during interviews? Who was the one who could never manage to control her expressions at first glance in questions that caught them off guard?
Ally and Mani were captains as much as Dinah. There are billions of interviews that prove it. In their own way, they always helped and teased them. Think of the video where Ally fakes a laugh as Lauren loudly slaps C’s ass, who screams “Lauren!” Think about the performances of specific songs. One, for example, is ‘They Don’t Know About Us’, and Norminah always teased them especially during that song. Think about when fans asked Ally if Camren was real and she ran away, laughing and not answering. Think of Mani during the ‘BOSS or TOSS’ game. There are millions of other examples.
4) 3 times. But, as we saw with Dinah in that 2017 video, they may have given her intravenous therapies when she needed it. It’s common, especially for overworked artists.
Oh and, guys. I saw that the audio of the uncut interview with Hitz FM station that the girls did in Malaysia on July 6, 2016, which was released on August 5, has returned to spread. I don’t know why it’s back to spreading now since I heard it already, if I’m not mistaken, in 2017, and saved it a couple of years ago. But anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, I saw that they wrote what Camila says, and it’s wrong. Listen to the audio even at full volume if you want, but C doesn’t say ‘False’. This is what happens:
I (Interviewer): “This one an interesting one. Are Camila and Lauren dating?”
L: “No”
C: “Ugh, Jesus Christ”
I: “Yeah, I know” at the same time as what he says, C laughs awkwardly as a result of her comment “It comes down on Google 'cause people are googling it!”
L: “No! It’s amazing how people continue to do that”
I don’t know if whoever wrote that heard wrong or what. If it’s one of those “which name do you hear, Yanny or Laurel?” cases, you know? But I just wanted to point this out to you. That’s all.
Okay. Love u, guys. Stay safe, please. With love, Faby.
___
I decided to post this twice because I want to add this to a masterpost (Once I figure out how to do that)
But for real, this timeline is insane. I knew about a lot of those stuff except the last one about that interview. insane.
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alotsgonnachange · 3 years
Text
Mystic Messenger Saeran’s AE Thoughts (.......And Prayers..) #Spoilerz
Hello, I just finished Saeran’s after ending and I have a lot of things to say and I am going to write it down while I'm still all keyed up about it.
First of all… Please DO NOT ask me how much money I spent to finish this as fast as I did…. I’m grown but my bank account is certainly going to have a good ole fashioned CHUCKLE at this….. It’s been a long quarantine I deserve a lil happiness as a treat methinks!
I have been playing this absolutely insane game since I think 2016? When I first started playing the deep routes had JUST come out I think? And I was just finishing up high school and am now a college grad...lmao
I’ve played all routes at least once except Jaehee but i’ve seen walkthroughs of her route (I’ve heard it makes you hate Jumin and he’s my favorite so um. hehe). V’s and Saeran’s routes I found to be so emotionally intense and just….a lot and I've been waiting a long ass god damn time for this after ending okay…. I would theorize and make up an ending in my head but i’m no writer so it was hard to figure out lol. I’m a Jumin stan mostly but I love everybody and yeah I should probably play that jumin dlc too but I need like a DAY to recover from Saeran’s AE. Enough about me HERE are my thoughts on it overall
Major Saeran AE Spoilers under da cut!
Can we please discuss V showing up to the C+R conference room with basically chloroform and made everybody Pass Out like??? I was alone in my room at like midnight just SCREAMING at my phone???? And the creepy ass CG ???? It’s like that gif of sarah paulson from ahs being like “I put arsenic in the wine….and the pasta”
Anyway I screamed at V a lot during this process!!
Loved RFA being sweet and kind to saeran (before V fucking drugged them…)
This is such common V behavior “I have to do it all myself...there’s no other way..” GIRL SHUT UPPP You do this every route....
SO many CG’s and I enjoy them a lot
Saeran’s sprite looks a little TOO crisp compared to everyone else but maybe its a glitch??? V next to him is in 480p while saeran is like 1080p
Hearing both Saeran and Saeyoung missing the other brother the whole time??? PAIN. All my homies know is PAIN
BOSS and his V for Vendetta ass guy fawkes mask??? I literally yelled “this game is TERRIBLE!!” several times at my phone
Their dad is so>??????? When he was sitting on the couch with saeyoung in that one CG while simultaneously telling him to kill himself?????????? Maybe chairman han is actually the best dad in this game somehow
When V and Rika were like we’re back together teehee teehee okay pack it up bonnie and clyde ..
When chairman han calls u and says hes jealous of u and saeran…..HUH????? I’m calling HR
When they go to the apartment and see boss and vanderwood and poor saeyoung is sitting there seeing his brother for the first time in years i wanted to D word sooooo bad like PAIN...PAIN….
Can we HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT JUMIN HAN BEING THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME AND HE LOST EVERYTHING IN THIS AE……. he just took the blame and moved on jumin what the hell….. I love him so much r we serious? He watched his 2 closest friends betray him in the worst way and found out abt how Rika abused Saeyoung and Saeran???? I felt just AWFUL. Terrible ...Terrible….
Rika’s change in demeanor from Saeran's actual route is certainly a Choice. I find her much more bearable this time around and unfortunately i think I was too nice to her and ended up with a bad end LMFAO
I was happy to see Saeran stand up for himself and become stronger and confident. You go king!
The CG of Yoosung laying in Zen’s lap is everything to me…
HOWEVER YUP I sure did get a bad ending and I was so mad fdsafdskfdhsf ! (I would be happy to clarify how I got the good one the second time.) MAKE SURE To SAVE EARLY in days 2 and 3 bc the branches on day 4 is where the bad end will show up. For me it was the first day 4 chat and then a story mode titled “SAVIOR”.... If you see that RUN FOR THE HILLS!!
I was so mad! But I had saved in day 2 and replayed and MANAGED to get good end
I’m obsessed with everyone calling V and Rika “that psychotic couple” like…..its true its true…
No those two are so toxic… V’s route was torture watching them go on and on about the sun like yo can yall just call each other babe like normal people.
I respect straight people but not V and RIka that shit was just wrong… Straight marriage was a mistake
Oh lord i also FULLY Forgot Rika killed the twins’ mother…. Yeah that scene was um Certainly a lot but it needed to happen eventually
Like it’s good they know but damn that storyline is just so bleak
I think it was satisfying TO A DEGREE….To see Rika understand where she was wrong, why she was wrong, fess up and even APOLOGIZE! I was very surprised.
Saeran and Saeyoung are Certainly twins with the amount that those two self sacrifice in every route MY GOD…..
The scene with Jumin talking to his father and the other scene of him praying oh my god I cannot tell you how happy I was to see him begin to understand and address his own feelings in a route that was not his own. My main problem with Jumin’s route has always been the trapping MC in his penthouse aspect.. This way Jumin understands love and emotions without being overly possessive !!! YAY also loved seeing him be on good terms with his dad who was surprisingly profound
That last Story mode was Really a Lot…. and Strange things occurred which I will get into in just a minute
Jumin becoming a politician is so funny but ngl … i see it.
Yoosung going to france to study pastries ok king I see u! (it made more sense to me than the vet thing anyway)
Lastly Zen FURRY ERA
MY BEEF With the AE
I was happy with how they handled it for the most part. I think Cheritz heard our feedback about V’s after ending and was like okay….let’s try something different
HOWEVER
Saeran…. Sweet kind saeran… IS SO AFFECTIONATE HAHA….
He must have said I love you like 300 times…..very mushy gushy flowery language...and maybe that’s just his personality but for me it was like eating cake with buttercream cake. It means well, but god damn is it sugary and going to cause a stomach ache later.
He was just… SO MUCH! SO forward and ON all the time in his affections. I honestly felt kind of smothered and by day 3 and 4 I was sooooo over all the compliments… King you’ve come a very long way, but ur still putting MC on a pedestal and probably need to see a therapist.
Nextly….Rika and V….. Naw that knock out gas really ...that hurt lol. Coming from “I would do anything to protect RFA” V? Idk like…. EYE felt betrayed reading that. It was just hurtful. I can’t even imagine how the members would have felt as they were passing out. It was just so cruel. I suppose I understand why but like?? Just TERRIBLE
Them being in cahoots with the agency and the prime minister..HUH??? Also too much
V just felt so irresponsible like I do understand that he ended up in a weird web of secrets that’s hard to untangle but he’s so fucking stubborn he’s SO stubborn it makes me insane. Like sir… It seems like in other routes he wanted to try to protect Rika and the RFA.. But in this AE it seems more to me that he was like yeah i’m protecting Rika and That’s It… so fucking hurtful to me. Both of y’all apologize ESPECIALLY to the twins and Jumin..
The forgiveness thing…… Okay so I think some people will not like that Saeran decided to “forgive” the people who hurt him (Rika, V, Saejoong, his mother). I would point out that I actually think this was approached somewhat well. He says at one point that he doesn’t think they’re good or bad, just people. I think he sounded mature and like this was the way for him personally to accomplish his healing process. Would I have loved for Saeran to flip V and Rika off and kick Saejoong off a cliff? Yea I really would. But like…. If that’s what HE needs to do to heal then who am I to judge?
HOWEVER…. Everything Eye just said goes out the window when the scenes at the end with Saejoong come up… I was PERPLEXED. Like why did he HUG his deranged father who just kicked the shit out of him??? Also all the chat options that MC has with him r like blah blah you’re like this because no one loves you were so corny to me LMFAOOOO?
AND WHEN HE WAS IN THE ROOM LATER WITH SAERAN… i’m sorry but if that were me I would have called a nurse to deck his ass. Cool he turned himself in YOU SUCK SOOOO BAD AND I NEVER WANT YOU TO COME NEAR SAEYOUNG AND SAERAN AGAIN THANKS.
*scratches ass* I wish I got to see saeyoung and saeran finally sit down and have that first conversation after a long time and hug CG but the ending was fine I GUESS….. I dont care about ROMANCE I want those boys to be happy brothers together
Anyway that was really emotionally exhausting but I fr think I got it out of my system after literal years… And I can rest in peace knowing the choi twins are happy. THATS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!
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