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#anyway if you want me to go into detail about any of the themes i mentioned
eloves-writes · 3 months
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careful who you’re talking to
[coriolanus snow x reader]
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desc: snow hears a conversation with the academy boys about the girl he is secretly seeing and wants them to know who you belong to warnings: snow being snow like fr (toxic, controlling, insane, blah blah blah), smut, exhibitionism, public sex, unwarranted sexual comments about reader behind her back, she/her pronouns used, reader is wearing a dress, if i need to add any other warnings please lmk a/n: hiiiii! i'm back again. this is slightly unhinged and i didn't mean for it to be this unhinged but anyway hope u enjoy, send any and all coriolanus requests my way! mwah mwah mwah ily this work contains mature themes, minors dni
it was a cold night in the capitol, and you were steadily sipping a glass of posca to keep warm in your blood-red dress. the silky material was slit up your leg and cut down to reveal just the right amount of cleavage; you might feel a chill but you looked damn good and everybody knew it.
especially coriolanus snow. the two of you had been spending a lot of time together recently- behind bookshelves in the library, in dark corners of the academy halls, bend over desks in empty classrooms. it had begun as purely physical. stress relief. but after a month or so, you had each caught feelings for the other and were struggling with whether or not to admit it. and in that moment, he was also struggling tremendously to take his eyes off of you.
you stood talking across the room with arachne and livia, unable to concentrate on whatever meaningless gossip they were discussing with the feeling of coriolanus’ ice blue eyes on you; there was an electric thrill passing between you like you were connected with a live wire. to say your relationship so far had been hot and heavy would be an extremely severe understatement, and you found your mind constantly occupied with the thought of him touching you and the need to have him touch you again.
-
“i think y/n is checking me out,” festus creed smirked to the group of boys around him.
coriolanus almost snorted in amusement. you were obviously looking at him, and only him.
“something funny, snow?” gaius asked sharply. “jealous, perhaps?”
snow reserved his irritation. “not at all, breen.”
“whoever she is looking at,” felix stated earnestly, “i’m certainly jealous of them. i mean, just look at her. she looks fucking hot.”
festus nodded in agreement. “i’d love to rip that dress off of her. she acts so innocent, but you just know she likes it rough.”
coriolanus felt his blood boil. you were his. how dare they talk about you like you were a common whore? perhaps you did like it rough. he would know, he was the one fucking you. not these basic capitol losers. none of them could make you scream the way he did. none of them had scratches down their backs beneath their shirts from your nails. only he did. only he ever would, and he would make sure it stayed that way.
the other boys laughed, agreeing with festus. adding on their own ideas. detailing the ways they’d make you fuck them. describing the times you had supposedly sent them signals. assuming that you did not already belong to snow, that you would even think about going near them. that you would get on your knees for them like you always did for coriolanus.
he couldn’t listen to them any longer. “she’s seeing somebody,” he jeered, fixing the cuffs of his jacket and making definitive, unquestionable eye contact with you and subtly tilting his head towards the exit.
festus laughed incredulously. “is she now? i think we’d have heard.”
oh you’ll hear it alright.
“yes,” coriolanus replied with a chilling calm, watching you make your way to the door. “if you’ll excuse me.”
-
on the steps outside the ridiculously grand building, you waited patiently for snow to follow you out. it was only a few minutes before you heard the door open again, turning to face corio and immediately sensing anger. you worried, sometimes, about his anger. you knew he wouldn’t seriously harm you, but the same could most certainly not be said for any others who dared cross his path. the future president of panem could only afford so much blood on his hands.
“what’s wrong, coriolanus?” you asked gently.
he inhaled deeply and stared into your eyes in a way that strongly suggested you would be unable to walk the next morning. you waited for him to answer.
“you shouldn’t have worn that dress," he warned.
“what?”
“you heard me.”
either the cold or a fucked up part of you sent shivers down your spine, hairs standing up on your neck. your underwear dampened at his fury.
“i thought you would like it, corio,” you flirted, stepping closer to him. he placed a large, firm hand on your waist.
“i do like it, y/n,” he said before speaking in a low voice. “i would like it better if you took it off.”
you smiled and leaned up to kiss him, but he turned his head. you pulled a face in protest.
“behave,” he spat. “so desperate. do you not want to know why you shouldn’t have worn this?”
“yes, corio,” you replied, doing your best impression of somebody who wasn’t about to throw yourself on top of him. he liked when you were patient.
“because every man in that room wants to see it on their bedroom floor," he attested lowly.
“and you’re jealous,” you smirked.
coriolanus suddenly grabbed a fistful of your hair and roughly pulled your head backwards so that your face was tilted towards his. “and nobody else should be looking at you like that.”
a jolt of excitement ran through you. “corio-”
he gave your hair another tug. “say you’re mine.”
“am i yours?”
he realised instantly the meaning of your question. he didn’t have to think about his reply; he had thought about it every waking moment since the day you met. “you’re mine. say it.”
“i’m yours.”
“good girl,” snow spoke deeply before kissing you like he’d never kissed you before. without breaking apart from your lips, coriolanus guided you around to the side of the building. he counted the windows you passed until finally stopping by one that was cracked open and pushing you against the cold wall. as he removed his jacket and unfastened his belt, he looked inside the hall and you assumed he was checking no one was looking. he wasn’t. he was making sure that festus creed and the other boys were still stood in the same spot; directly in front of this particular window, and far enough from the rest of the partygoers that only the boys would hear you.
you gathered the skirt of your dress at your waist and wrapped your legs around corio’s sturdy form as he reached to move your underwear to the side. he circled your clit until you were practically whimpering, then slid two fingers inside of you.
“corio, feels so good,” you moaned softly.
he kept his same pace with his fingers, fucking you into a state of bliss where he knew you would be uninhibited and so drunk with his stimulation that people would think you’d finished every glass of posca in this stupid party. coriolanus was too good at what he was doing, you were on the edge of release within minutes and still desperately trying to quiet yourself in the name of dignity.
“corio, please, corio, i’m so close,” you whimpered into his neck.
he pulled away his hand, making you whine in displeasure. he liked to do that. liked to know he was in complete control of you, you would only cum when he willed it.
corio looked through the window again, but the boys had yet to hear anything out of the ordinary. they were still laughing amongst themselves. he unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock, using the slick on from your pussy to stroke himself before he pushed inside of you.
you tried again to stay quiet, but coriolanus began to coax you. “look at you, taking me so well. you wouldn’t let anybody else fuck you like this, would you? who makes you feel this good, huh?”
you couldn’t hold back anymore, his beautiful face spewing such foul things whilst fucking you raw and digging his fingertips into your flushed skin. “you do, corio. fuck,” you moaned, loudly enough that festus turned to look outside.
coriolanus smirked as they made eye contact. the initial confusion about the sounds coming from outside, the look of shock as he realised his classmate was balls deep in a girl he had pushed against the exterior of a building in the damn capitol, his face finally dropping as he realised who corio was fucking by the colour of your messed up hair and the visible strap of your dress, his eyes widening as he heard the things snow was saying to you.
your moans were getting louder too as you got even closer to your orgasm, whimpering corio’s name and repeating “i’m yours,” like a mantra.
snow took his gaze from the boys to you, feeling satisfied that he’d proved his point and starting to performatively enjoy himself, knowing yours weren't the only eyes on him. his pace quickened, driving you over the edge and making you clench around him as you came. he moaned aloud himself as continued to fuck you through your high and the overstimulation that came after until he finished inside of you.
you were completely fucked out, relishing the feeling of snow’s cum beginning to drip down your thighs after he swiftly removed your underwear to fold into his back pocket. he picked his discarded jacket up from the floor and placed it over your shoulders, kissing your head and leading you to the front of the building and helping you into a car which would take you both home. before you walked away from the window though, coriolanus smoothly pulled your lace panties from his pocket and waved them nonchalantly in the night air, catching the attention of the rest of the group. you would never have to know why he fucked you, only that the boys would stop bothering you now they knew who you belonged to.
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p0rk-guts · 27 days
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Velvette if she served cunt
Design breakdown below 👇🏾(BEWARE IT'S VERY LONG)
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Alright going into detail about my gripes and edits. Like Velvette but her design is just. Not good to me. None of her (main) outfit details look like they fit to me— pinstripe pants + long fur coat paired with black crop top and scene sleeves? Skull earrings? TINKERBELL HEELS????? Tell me how any of that meshes well or even makes SENSE for the social media influencer persona she's supposed to have going on. Now that I think about it I'm pretty sure she's supposed to be clown themed... But I'm just gonna toss that idea out bc being a revered social media influencer and a clown at the same time just seems a bit oxymoronic to me, and the "clown" details aren't adding shit for me.
And don't think I forgot about her features. Pale ash grey skin and wavy hair at best. If she was supposed to be some type of creature where a nonhuman skin tone would make sense then maybe I could let it go?? But as far as I can tell she doesn't have an object or creature or animal theme like the other V's and if she does I shouldn't need to do detective work to figure it out. There is no reason for *any* of these poc characters to have grey skin, especially since they don't have any other poc features at all.
Sorry that shit gets me heated anyways. Onto my redesign. Gave her a more obviously black skin tone and textured hair bc I love a 30 inch buss down as much as the next girl but considering how there are no significant poc cast members with visibly textured hair I think she deserves to flaunt some coils if no one else will.
Ngl I'm not. A fashion girlie. Idk what's trendy idk what screams "influencer" so a lot of this was just throwing shit at the wall that I've seen around recently but it looks cute enough to me. And there was a bit of inspiration taken from Aliyahcore and ghetto fabulous fashion ❤️
If you can't tell this is shamefully inspired by lovesart23's Velvette reimagining because imo they had some outstanding ideas for Vel. I low-key stole their idea for those floating eyes in her hair that follow her around and help her keep tabs on shit it was just a superb idea for a social media overlord to me. I also took some inspo from @furbtasticworksofart 's redesign because vampire influencer sucking up the souls of her followers in exchange for content??? Too good (also the eyes were supposed to have bat/vamp wings I just forgot 😭) So yeah she's a vampire demon now. Without the features she was looking too human anyhow. Maybe she also feeds off of the energy of her followers through tech like after Vox mind controls them or whatever... Idk idk is that anything
Speaking of Vox, the screen glasses are meant to connect her to him w/ their color and shape while serving the purpose of being like a second phone she can post and check the web with. Like lovesart said in their reimagining vid, Vel doesn't really do more than pose for selfies and scroll on her phone when it comes to social media so in my head she's constantly flipping her shades on and off, using them to scroll and stay active, and they can show when she's not paying attention or respect to something/someone bc scrolling is more worth her time in the moment.
The hearts everywhere are also supposed to kinda represent social media likes + connect her back to Val w/ his heart patterns. That might've been what the hearts in her og design were for but. I just didn't like their placement bc I'm a nitpicker and a hater❕
I have so much more I could say about possible ideas for Velvette because I love evil black girls and I only want them to succeed in my media and I could treat her so much BETTER but I'll refrain bc this is way too long anyway.
Alright for reading/scrolling through all that rambling I offer you the sketches + some alt hair ideas I had
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P.S. I'm very open to constructive criticism but if I see anyone just dick riding in my replies or rb's I'm just blocking you on sight ✌🏾
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luveline · 5 months
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hi jade!!! i was wondering if i could request a bassist!remus x roadie!reader fic in which they spend time together on their day off from touring? maybe reader is totally surprised that he even asked her?
hi gorgeous!! modern au, fem 1k
cw vague adult theme, mdni 
"There you are," Remus says, as though he's said it a hundred times before, and he'll say it a hundred times again. "I've been looking for you." 
As a roadie (merchandising, mostly), there's no reason for Remus to know who you are, nor care, but he seems to like you anyhow. And there's nowhere for you to hang out in your downtime beside hotel lobby's or your literal assigned seat in the minivan, so here you are, in your pyjamas, laying on a random lobby couch with a book smushed to your chest. 
"What?" you ask, wiping the sleep from your eyes. 
"I've been looking for you. You weren't in your room." 
"I share my room with three other girls, one who has sleep apnea." The muscles in your back sing like plucked strings as you sit up. "It's quieter here… You're looking for me?" 
"Mm. Come on. We'll go get a late dinner." 
"I'm in my pyjamas." 
Remus gestures down at himself. "I thought you might be." 
He's dressed down too. Every roadie has their thing —it's hard, learning so many names at once, and eventually people begin to typecast one another as their most defining feature. Yours, to your indifference, seems to have become your more comfortable clothing choices. You're not gross, everything's clean, but is everything acceptable attire for going out into the world? 
"No one will even notice they're pyjamas," he assumes you, holding out his hand expectantly. "They look like jogging bottoms." 
"Remus, they're lavender." 
He pulls your hand toward his chest, encouraging you to stand. "They're nice." 
He ferries you out of the hotel, and you thank your lucky stars you wore your converse rather than the hotel slippers. He's clearly thought about this, offering you a hoodie (your size, clearly swiped from the merchandise van, 'marauders' written in jagged lettering across your shoulders like bat wings) as he explains the details of your trip. 
"First we'll get dinner. Then see a film in the cinema, if you want to? They have the new Exorcist." 
"I love horror." 
"I know." He nods to himself. "And then I have to buy you fresh donuts. James says they're the only way to eat them." 
"You don't have to buy me anything." 
"Sorry, I should say it differently. I'd love to buy you fresh donuts. If that's what you want to do." 
You peek at him from the corner of your eye. "I would've stayed in the lobby if I didn't want to come out with you." 
"In that case," he murmurs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. 
This is worse than flirting. It feels like an initiation, or a turned tide. You smile at him from under his arm and he visibly pauses, falters, before his own smile hooks and he walks forward with a little more purpose. 
The day moves on as promised. You eat a quick dinner at a mid range restaurant before he takes you to the cinema, where he insists he doesn't want any popcorn but eats half of yours anyways. Then he takes you for donuts, and the entire time, you're thinking, what does he want from me? If Remus wanted sex he could fuck a groupie. Half the techs would crawl into bed with him if he asked. Maybe he's just gentlemanly? 
But why would he wanna fuck you? Ignoring any self-esteem issues, you're in cuffed bottoms and bare-faced, and he has no reason to believe you'd be any good in bed. 
He might want something slower, he decides. It's easier to believe when he asks if he can hold your hand on the walk home. 
"What?" you ask, sure you heard him wrong. 
"Can I?" he says, offering you his palm. 
It's different from his pulling earlier. You give him your hand and he squeezes his fingers between yours slowly, as though savouring the feeling.
You shake your head. "Was this…" 
Remus waits for you to finish. It's hard to ask under the weight of his gaze, happy but with that air of knowing you can't quite crack. He always seems so put together, even when he's asking for things, like any answer you give is one he's prepared for. 
"Was this a date?" you force out. 
"That depends. Did it go well?" 
"I would've said yes, if you asked me." 
Remus leans in like he's telling a secret, his voice hushed to match. "I know," he says gently, the tiniest hint of smugness threaded in the slight scratch of his voice. "That's mostly why I didn't ask." 
"Mostly?" 
"I couldn't face rejection. Not from you." His eyes light with an emotion you can't name. "But if you still want to reject me, I'll cope. It might be good for me, actually, it'll give me some material. Nothing makes for better music than losing a pretty girl." 
You fluster at his wording. "I would've worn something nice," you say apologetically. "If I'd known. I would've made an effort to look nice." 
"You always look nice. You think I'm put off by your pyjamas?" 
"Stop," you mumble, mortification creeping in. I can't believe I just went on a date with a rockstar in my pyjamas. 
"It's cute. You're cute, I love that you can fall asleep anywhere–" 
"Stop!" 
Remus laughs and pulls you that last inch into his side, elbow to elbow, hip to hip. "I can't. Teasing you is half the fun. It's why I haven't mentioned the powdered sugar on your lip." 
You sigh and turn your face away from him, wiping your lip with your sleeve. "You always do this." 
"Don't wipe it off, I'll get it. It'll taste sweet." 
You take your hand out of his. "Did you want this to be a date? I'll change my mind." 
He's kinder after that, and when he rubs your shoulder like he knows you need it, you almost pass out. 
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rowretro · 6 days
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𝔹𝕠𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕥
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✧warnings: Yandere/toxic themes, kidnapping, marriage, blood, violence, explicit stuff mentioned, somewhat sexual(?)
❁synopsis: Your parents arranged for you to marry the Park Sunghoon, who seems to be extremely interested in you, crazy in love with you one'd say. However on the day of your wedding, a turn of events lead to the dark truth behind this so called love.
YAN!RIKI X READER YAN!HOON X READER
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Y/n looks stunning. Her body hugged by the expensive material of her wedding dress, the design of the swan-white dress made her look oh so angelic. It's the day. The day Lee Y/n becomes Park Y/n. A man who was extremely cold, hung out with girls that ended up sucking his dick the very night they meet, was now waiting for his soon-to-be wife to walk down the aisle, so he can settle down, and devote his everything to this darling.
Y/n, however, was wishing on a miracle to happen. She wanted to run away. A marriage she was forced into, she doesn't know him or love him. She fears him... he's a fucking mafia boss for fucksake. Yet her parents preferred money over an average art student, who barely got even a B in any of her past exams. She sighed, looking in the mirror one last time. Alone in the room, as she let realization hit her.
Feeling a little stressed, she picked up a French cigarette, twirling it around in her fingers, before putting it away. She couldn't walk down the aisle smelling of cigarettes. She looked in the mirror one last time, trying to mentally prepare herself for her own wedding. Then a miracle happened. "Fucking shut your mouth and do as I say or else I'll shoot you." A man simply said, his big hand covering almost 90% of her face, as he towered over her.
She could only see his eyes, but damn was he fine as fuck. "Oh sir sir- you don't need to do all that... We can jump out the window! no one'll notice" she said with a smile. The kidnapper, hesitant at first, decided to let it be, and lead her out, his grip firm on her wrist as he dragged her to his car. Y/n didn't fight him at all. She didn't care if she was going to die, or have her organs trafficked, heck even herself, she just didn't want to become a tortured slave to the Parks' Dynasty.
"THE BRIDE IS MISSING!" Mrs Park yelled as Sunghoon's face immediately changed. That shy, excited look now long gone. Within a matter of minutes, Mr Park walked over to Sunghoon, showing the Video message a certain friend had sent. "You tried to fuckin break a deal?!... I thought we agreed on sharing Park. She's mine too. Since you can't keep your end of the deal I don't see why I should." The man in the video threatened, and with that, the video cut off.
No one can have his y/n. He laid his eyes on her the very day Riki did, the 2 instantly falling in love with her. It's crazy how they helped each other out, stalking her to find every detail about her. They both knew her strengths and weaknesses, favourite colour, favourite pet. Everything. Sunghoon wanted you to himself. So he just had to tempt your parents with his money, he didn't expect Nishimura Riki to find out though.
"Yoi- pretty boy- when you gon return me? please tell me, I need to come up with a proper run away plan, can't let park Sunghoon marry me y'know?" Y/n simply said as she sat on the bed, still in her wedding dress. Riki eyed her up and down, he slid off his mask, stunning Y/n with his perfect, plush lips that are oh so kissable, a jawline to die for, fuck he's so fucking fine. Those eyes don't lie. "Done staring bride?" He asked as Y/n blinked.
"Yeah- uh anyways... when'll you let me go?... clearly you have no intention on killing me or trafficking- I-" Y/n was beyond shocked when the kidnapper pinned her against the bed, his dark, pretty eyes, empty of any emotion, how he glared coldly at her, as if he were staring into her soul. "Oh darling... Of course I wouldn't kill you.... for I have better plans for you..." He simply said as he gripped her jaw.
"I don't know... an easy death is looking like a really good option right now..." Y/n nervously snickerred as the man leaned in closer "Nishimura Y/n... let me get into my tux... you and I are getting married tonight." The man smirked as Y/n stared in shock. Riki cuffed her to the bed as he went into the restroom to get dressed. She'd have never let him kidnap her if she knew she'd have the same fate either way.
Only, Sunghoon actually seemed nice... The way his arms were always around her waist. How, despite being cold or rude, he'd still make sure she's ok and healthy. The way he'd rest his forehead against hers, reminding her of how beautiful she is. Though he was a playboy, and he was hard to trust. That very moment, she felt her wrists be free, a familiar scent hitting her nose as a strong pair of arms wrapped around her.
"It's ok baby... you're safe now. Lets go hmm?" Sunghoon said as he attempted to lift her from the bed. "Not so fucking fast Park. We had a deal..." Riki suddenly said, walking into the room, white shirt half buttoned up, his hair already done, and his coat nowhere to be found. Damn he looked hot. To be fair, Riki didn't seem awful, even though he did kidnap her. He's been giving her princess treat meant since she had first arrived...
It all went south for her since this fated day... The day she married 2 men...
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cissyenthusiast010155 · 2 months
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hiii!!! can you do a larissa x student story based on the song teachers pet? like they are in a secret relationship and they are very kinky together but they need to be careful and the reader sometimes doesn’t like being kept a secret so she tells her but larissa says it’s just for their protection though it’s okay and then larissa gets touchy and seduces the reader and they have dirty hot sexy time🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
Under My Thumb ~Dark!Mommy!Larissa Weems xFem Student!Reader
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Summary— Reader, a student at Nevermore, has found herself in a complicated, toxic, manipulative explicitly sexual relationship with the one and only principal of Nevermore, Larissa Weems. What happens when Reader tries to talk to Larissa about it, when she starts to get tired of all the mind games and secrets…? Anon Response— Hiii @mxmmyviolet !! Thank you for the request! I love how detailed it is, and I would love to write it for you. Great song choice as well, very fitting. Hope you Enjoy! ♥️
Mommy… Master List
Requests & Prompt-List
Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!, darker, smut, themes of manipulation, age gap, grinding, humping, implied fingering, implied g!p, implied g!p fucking and smut, taunting, teasing, mommy kink, manipulation, guilt, guilt tripping, implied future smut, etc.
Enjoy (;
You were having a shitty day. You had a lot on your mind, finals were going on and a bunch of mental health crap that you just didn’t have the time for.
And like any shitty day by the end of it, you ended up in Larissa’s office. It was an unhealthy habit, you had to admit. It bugged you. But you couldn’t get enough of the woman. And your feelings overrode the logic on this one. Most of the time anyway.
You entered Larissa’s office after she called you in from knocking. Larissa stopped her work and looked up at you with a smile.
“Darling, I— what’s wrong…?” She began to enthusiastically greet you, but quickly changed direction as she saw your face.
You threw your things aside and by her fireplace, before coming around the woman’s desk. Larissa opened her arms and indicated for you to sit in her lap.
You didn’t hesitate, plopping into the older woman’s lap and curling up into her figure. Larissa looked down at you with care and concern, her hands wandering and caressing you lovingly.
“Talk to me, Darling… please…” Larissa pled.
You nodded slowly. You sat up a little more in her lap and took a deep breath, meeting her gaze.
“I… I don’t like being a secret…” you whispered, tears threatening to come to your eyes, “It’s— It’s destroying me…”
Larissa’s eyes widened and she nodded. Her one hand came to your hip, while the other tucked a strand of loose hair behind your ear.
“Oh Darling… I know it hard, but it’s what’s best… We need to keep it a secret for your own protection…” Larissa purred,
Larissa’s hand then began to wander from your face to your collarbone, to down your curves, where it stopped at your hip.
When you didn’t seem swayed by her words, Larissa’s eyes darkened and she smirked lightly. She leaned in and let her lips ghost the shell of your ear, making you shiver.
“It’s all for you, Darling…” Larissa purred in your ear, her hands starting to grind your hips against her lap.
You squeaked lightly and immediately moved your hands to her shoulders. You tried to say something, to use your logic and explain to Larissa, but then she started to bite you… bite your ear, bite your neck, bite any exposed skin… and you were a goner…
“You know I’d never do anything with the intention of hurting you…” Larissa darkly cooed, sucking on your pressure point and making your eyes roll back and your hips jolt into her lap.
Your breathing was shallow and spiked, as your hips began to give in to the grinding that Larissa’s hands were subjecting you to. Your eyes started to roll back as more and more jolts of pleasure ran through you, your core being stimulated oh so deliciously and working you up to your climax.
“Just want to take care of you, Darling…” Larissa husked in your ear, continuing her assault on your exposed skin with her mouth and tongue.
When your grinding became less controlled and more desperate, the blonde began to bite your sensitive spots along your neck, shoulders and exposed chest. She drew more and more whimpers and mewls out of you, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.
“Don’t you want mommy to take care of you, sweetheart…?” Larissa seductively husked in the shell of your ear, nipping the side of your neck rather hard after her question.
Your hips jolted against her frame with even more vigour and a desperate yelp escaped your lips. Larissa then suddenly stopped, bringing your humping to a swift stop as well as her mouth assault. She looked at your with a wicked grin and twinkling eyes.
“Right, Darling…?” Larissa cooed darkly, “You want mommy to take care of you, right…?”
Your breathing hitched and your pupils were already blown out. Your head was swimming, and all you could think about was Larissa Larissa Larissa…
Larissa’s firm hands… Larissa’s sultry and seductive tone… Larissa’s sharp tongue… Larissa’s assaulting mouth… Larissa… Larissa… Larissa…
“I… yes m-mommy—” you stammered followed by another needy mewl.
Larissa quirked her head and grinned like a Cheshire Cat in delight.
“Good girl…” she cooed wickedly.
You were still feeling slightly guilty and a little manipulated, but not to worry… Larissa was going to make that all go away with her shapeshifting cock.
~~~
Larissa Weems Masterlist
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faelapis · 4 months
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alright! we got one whole person interested, so here's my hot take:
the first "how to train your dragon" movie is WAY better than httyd 2.
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i know everyone loves like, the cool warrior mom design, the romance and the "epic animation moments" in 2... but can we for a moment be honest and say the whole "hiccup becoming a leader / which dragon is the Good Alpha" plot was dumb as hell? also, the villain sucked?
the original httyd is pretty good about keeping the structural problem grounded in real societal fears. namely, fear of the unknown and of beasts. it makes sense for any ol' village dealing with such a problem. it was intelligently designed around a solid premise.
httyd 2 is like. actually, dragon taming is a big thing, even outside berk. and theres a Scary Foreign Man dragon tamer who is bad and just wants power. it's okay to other him. being a good guy is about being a protector instead of an evil, power-hungry guy... which hiccup never was anyway... so no real growth there. just be good instead of bad. wow. what a theme. very thought-provoking.
people act like httyd 3 being bad came out of nowhere, but httyd 2 was the original sin to me. it totally dropped the societal themes in favor of generic good vs evil fights and "worldbuilding" - despite having no more interesting stories to tell.
it also kind of ruined hiccup for the sake of developing him. like. his whole thing is that he can't fight, so he has to find other ways to contribute to society. he's the anti-macho hero. which ends up being important in convincing the village that dragons can be peaceful. he's empathetic to the other, because he's been othered.
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meanwhile in httyd 2, hiccup's like. Cool Warrior Man, who needs to step up and be the hero king when his dad dies. he can fight just fine, because he has a cool dragon to fight with. so he's just like any warrior, but one who fights with weapons instead of brute strength. aka most fictional warriors who arent just "the heavy."
the first movie isn't beyond criticism, obviously. the animation was a little meh compared to httyd 2 - i get why visually its seen as an upgrade. plus, httyd 1 also did the thing of having like a last minute evil dragon to defeat... but that wasn't the point. the POINT was the village and its fears. the POINT was overcoming that.
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whenever people list why they love httyd 2 and consider it superior, its like... lists of details. like, look at the upgraded character designs, the cool flying scenes, the affection between hiccup and astrid, or the clever way hiccup's prosthetic leg is designed.
but these are film *details*, not fundamentals.
if you told me the sequel to httyd was going to have a much more generic story, ignore the themes of the original and makes its deliberately lanky and weak protagonist into Handsome Hero Warrior Boy, i'd be like. that sounds kinda bad. but the Animation Details (tm) i guessssss
i know hiccup is still "himself" in 2 to some extent, btw. he's an inventor, he's intelligent, and he initially tries to talk to the villain. but none of that ends up mattering. its arguably looked down on by the movie, which really, really wants him to step up to be the warrior king like his dad. aka a generic Hero Strongman.
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i'm not totally against evolving the themes of a work to fit new conflicts, btw. sequels should generally be different from the first movie. that's fine. that's expected.
but while the new conflict in httyd 2 IS born out of the results of the previous movie, that evolution feels very literal, not thematic.
namely, the evolution is "more people have dragons now." it builds the conflict from there. its based on worldbuilding, not on theme.
i don't think a very interesting evolution.
it kinda went from, in httyd 1: "the theme is fear of the unknown. how prejudice/ignorance manifests, educating oneself through compassion, the dangers of worshipping violent masculinity, and the importance of questioning what you're taught by society."
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to, in httyd 2: "the theme is dragons. who has them? what they want with them? how can the Good Guy humans protect dragons from the Bad Guys? also, being a Good Leader means being a strong Hero Man who protects his friends," without asking any deeper questions related to the themes of the first movie.
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and i'm like. guys. guys.
the theme shouldn't just be "dragons."
the theme of the first movie was NOT just "dragons." the first movie could've been about people being afraid of unicorns. or large birds. or unusually intelligent bears. it was not just about literal dragons, it was about societal fears and trying to overcome our base gut instincts.
i think this is what really plagues httyd 3: it builds on the themes of the second movie, not the first.
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httyd 3 asks further questions that only really revolve around the literal relationship between humans and dragons. it does not understand any broader themes of what that relationship represents.
it clearly thinks its very intelligent for asking "what do the dragons themselves want?", but that question is not respected enough to be explored in any thematically coherent way.
the only real weight its given is the argument that there will always be "bad humans" out there, and so, dragons are safer in the wild. which sure is... an argument. but its a very "othering the problem" kind of argument.
it acts like its caring about the agency of dragons, but its not really. dragons were not actually portrayed as "oppressed" in berk society after the first movie, nor lacking agency. they were only at risk of "bad individuals", to which that solution is stupid. the racialized bad guy in httyd 2 didn't steal all his dragons from berk. he caught and subjugated them, mostly from the wild.
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all while looking like... this, by the way. i feel like we don't talk about that enough. all the good guys are white nordics, while the only man of color is scary, domineering and cruel. in a series of movies that was once about having empathy for the other.
MAYBE if berk had been really oppressive towards dragons in httyd 2, we could've had a theme. maybe if they treated them like a dangerous commodity that must be tightly controlled despite their nominal acceptance and inclusion, we could've had a thematically tight 3-movie arc about like fear and oppression or whatever.
but that would require, yknow... making the movies be about broad societal problems, instead of just evil individuals. and only the first movie cares about making any real societal critique.
also, the solution in httyd 3 would've still sucked. these movies, in terms of writing, really decrease in maturity from 1, down to 2, to the plummeting depths of 3.
there is no relationship of oppression that is solved by completely segregating society and going our separate ways (httyd 3). just like there is no oppression that is solved just by defeating bad individuals (httyd 2). we have to learn to coexist as equals, to educate ourselves and be compassionate to the other. even if we're afraid.
that's the dream only the first movie kept in its heart.
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mint-yooxgi · 4 months
Text
Depravity - Yandere!Wolf!Bang Chan
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Yandere AU & Wolf AU - First Person POV
Genre: Mature, Smutty Themes, Internal Monologue
Pairing: Bang Chan X Implied Chubby!Fem!Reader
Words: 2,024
Warnings: Establish relationship. Predator/prey dynamics, and implications of consensual non-consent (cnc). This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.
A/n: I honestly had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope you enjoy it, too! It's feral, but sweet? At least, in my opinion lol... Anyways, Feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~
The Fourteenth of The Feral Drabbles
I can smell you.
Oh, Baby Girl, knowing you’re as excited for this as I am just makes needing to catch you all the more sweeter. The pull you have on me is even stronger than that of the moon itself, and tonight, you’re mine.
I’ll admit, when you first suggested that I chase you around the woods like this, I was a little hesitant. Surprised would be an understatement, considering I thought I was dreaming again. There was no way you were letting one of my deepest fantasies come to life. Yet, here we are.
I wouldn’t want it any other way.
The mental image alone of how your eyes lit up in excitement after I agreed to this fuels every movement I make. I need to get to you. I need to have you. There’s no escaping your fate, Baby. I’ll catch up to you, and when I do, you better be ready. After all, it was you who told me to unleash the beast.
He craves you. I have always craved you. Since the first moment I saw you, I knew that we were meant to be. I did everything in my power to ensure you only ever saw the best of me, but you’ve secretly wanted me to let loose. All this time, and I thought you were perfectly content with me being nothing but a gentleman.
Oh, how wrong I was.
You seek the thrill of the hunt, too. If only I had known sooner, I would have gladly made your heart shudder as it is now while I chase you through the foliage, creeping closer with each step. 
I can hear everything, you know. I can hear the way your breath hitches with every snap of a twig. You heart stutters each time my footsteps approach you. I can tell you’re trying to be sneaky, but there’s nothing you can do that would throw me off your trail. Your very being calls to me, and like hell am I letting you slip away.
Though, I’m not unreasonable. I even gave you a head start, just like you wanted. The goal is to end in our little cabin, deep within the darkness of the woods. No one to disturb us; I can have you all to myself. 
I plan to make you scream tonight, Baby Girl; only you, me, and the moon.
Tracking you has never been easier. I’m already attuned to your every move. I have to be. I care too much about you to not know every little detail I can about the beauty I plan to spend the rest of my life with. Our story will be timeless, as will our love. I’ll make sure of it, even if it’s the last thing I ever do. I’m never letting you go, though from the way your excited giggles fill the air, I can tell you don’t want me to, either.
With every passing moment, your scent becomes stronger. I could end this quickly, but you wanted to draw this out. Besides, I want to give us a satisfactory prelude to the night I’m about to give you. You told me not to hold back, and the longer I spend hunting you, the more that burning desire within me swirls and builds.
Fuck- I can’t wait to have you spread out beneath me, naked and trembling in ecstasy. I want to see your eyes roll, and your thighs shake. I want to hear you scream my fucking name, praising the moon for bringing us together just as it has always been fated to be. I plan to take everything from you, and give everything of me in return. I won’t stop until we’re both satisfied, Baby Girl. I’ll show you just how insatiable I can be…
I’m getting closer, I can tell. I wonder if you’ll be able to see my golden eyes cutting through the darkness. You told me not to hold back, and I don’t intend to. Of course, I promised not to chase you in my true form, that’s just unfair. There wouldn’t be a chase if I did that, and I swore I would never hurt you. Though, it would be fun to see your reaction when a large, handsome wolf comes bounding up to you, only for it to shift into me in the next second.
Perhaps next time…
Just wait until you see how strong I can be. All those times I’ve held you close, I’ve cut back on how tightly my arms would wrap around you. Now, I don’t have to. You want me to lose control. You want me to claim you, just as I’ve always desired. By the time I’m done with you, all you’ll be able to think about is the way my hands feel all over your body. Your mind will be so consumed by the pleasure of it all, the only thing you’ll be able to remember is my name. My fingers will leave marks all over your skin, igniting a fire over your body just as your touch does to mine. Tonight, as with every other night, I serve you. I will always serve you.
Fuck- just thinking about the way my fingers are going to sink into your plush skin makes me quicken my pace. I want to feel you beneath me, squirming and begging for more. I want to make your hips buck into my mouth as my tongue explores every dip and crevice of you. I already know you taste amazing, but tonight, it’ll mean that much more.
Oh, Baby… I can’t wait to feel you dripping all over me. My fingers ache to be buried in that tight little cunt of yours. My lips long to be pressed against every inch of your body. A body which brings me to my knees every single goddamn time I look at you. If only you could have heard the way I whined for you when this whole thing started. I’m desperate, Baby, and you should know that it’s all for you. All because of you, and once I’ve unleashed him, there’s no turning back.
I’m going to have you fucking begging me for more as my tongue buries itself in that precious cunt of yours. I can’t wait to taste you, and have you dripping down my chin like you usually do. I want to feel your thighs squeezing around my head as I drown in that addictive nectar that flows from between your legs. I’m gonna fucking lose myself in you, just like I always do.
Hmm, I wonder how many times I can make you squirt? Five? Six? …Seven?
No matter. I plan to lose count, anyways.
I’m almost there…
With every step I make, there’s a steady crunch of leaves beneath my feet, and I can heart your heartbeat growing louder and louder. Even you can tell I’m close, and that only makes the thrill rushing through my own veins that much stronger. Once I catch you, I’m dragging your ass back to that cabin and having my way with you. There’s no escaping the monster lurking in these woods. He belongs to you, and he always will.
Oh, you cleaver little minx…
You purposely threw me off with your scent. You left a little gift for me to find, and at the giggle I can hear drifting through the air, I can still tell you’re close. Only now, I’m not holding back. My Baby is walking around these dark, cold woods without a shirt on. I can’t let you weather the elements like that alone. What type of beast would I be if I let My Girl get cold?
Your playfulness might just be your downfall.
I’m coming for you, Baby Girl. You ain’t seen nothing, yet.
Alright, then…
Ready or not, here I come…
Every sense I have is honed in on you. Your scent, your breathing, your heartbeat. I can feel you surrounding me, and even I can tell my eyes are getting darker with each passing moment. The beast is lurking beneath the surface, just waiting to come out. I can practically taste the desire and excitement rolling off of you, and it only makes me move faster.
I need to get to you. Now.
Low growls escape me, my teeth sharpening into fangs as my claws extend. I know you can hear me using the trees to propel myself towards you, leaving my marks on them just as I’m going to leave my marks all over you.
My eyes scan the woods frantically, low snarls escaping me with every breath. I can hear you. I can smell you right in front of me, yet you’re not-
My breath hitches, and I look up, a wild grin pulling at my features as pride swells in my chest.
Clever girl.
Have I ever told you that I love it when I make your heart skip a beat? You seem to enjoy it when I grin like this, but I never thought I’d get this type of reaction from you. Perhaps I should do it more often… There truly is no greater feeling than knowing the effect I have on you.
That’s it, Baby Girl, let me hear your heart race as you attempt to climb further up the tree you’re in. It’s cute that you think you can escape me now.
It takes me no time at all to race up the tree, appearing right in front of you in the blink of an eye. The way your breath hitches is music to my ears. And that spike of arousal? Divine.
I’ve got you now.
Struggle all you want, I’m never letting you go. Though, it’s quite amusing to feel you attempt to break free from my hold, even as I jump down from the tree. I always told you that I could easily carry you if I wanted to, and getting to prove that fact now only makes this moment that much more sweeter. Your body was made for me, and mine for you. See how well we fit together?
The warmth of your skin against my shoulder only makes my own heart race that much faster. Fuck, Baby- you said anything goes, but just being able to hold your ass in my hand as I carry you towards the best fucking night of our lives is making my head spin. Always so plush and soft… 
Can’t wait to have my hands all over you… 
You’ve already made me so fucking hard from all the thoughts about what I’m going to do to you. From your intoxicating scent that surrounds me, I can already tell you’re fucking dripping, too.
Do you like the fact that I’ve been stalking you around these woods without a shirt on, letting you see all of me as I hunt you down like the precious little prey you are? Do you feel the electricity between us as your bare skin touches mine? Can you feel the way you make my own heart race, aching for you inside my chest? Everything I am, everything I do… Do you know that it’s all for you? That I’ve always been all for you?
No matter. Tonight, I’ll show you. There’s not an inch of this plush body that will go untouched by me. Lips, hands, cock, tongue… everything I am is yours tonight, Baby. You’re mine, just as I am yours.
That’s it, Baby Girl, go ahead and whimper my name like that all you want. Beg for me… It’ll only makes the beast inside that much more desperate to claim you. I’ve kept him at bay while the chase was on, but as soon as we step through that cabin door, you’ll see a whole new side of me. 
I would never hurt you, though. Even I have my limits. That being said, I’m not finished tonight until you’re either begging me to stop, or you pass out from the pleasure of it all. 
Finally, the beast is going to claim his prize.
It’s you. It will forever and always be you.
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salty-croissants · 3 months
Text
Bullfrog and Rayman/Ramon x reader : mistletoes
Woo , Christmas special baby !!
Since tomorrow I’m gonna be away to spend time with family , I figured it would be best to post this today since I’m gonna be way too tired to write when I get back :,)👍
I love the ideas of the boys and the reader being soft during the holidays , it just really brings me joy ^^ 
Anyway , I hope it turned out okay , and make sure to have a wonderful Christmas 🎄❣️
Details : use of gender neutral reader ; 
established relationships ; 
presence of slightly suggestive themes , but mostly lots of fluff ❤️
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Bullfrog 💚
Let’s start by saying that given how constantly vigilant Bullfrog is , it won’t be easy to try to sneak a mistletoe above him : 
he just has a way of knowing each and every one of your movements , so … 
Yep , better get ready for a challenge . 
< Hm ? Is that a mistletoe you’re holding , mon amour ? > 
< Aw noo - I thought I got you this time ! > 
He will probably apologize to you a lot for “ruining” your surprise , trying to make up for it with some extra affection and cuddles …
This frog is just an absolute sweetheart , and he’ll use any excuse he can use to show you just how much he loves you :,//)
< Honey , it’s okay , really ! You don’t have to feel bad about it ! 
I know you can’t help but be careful about what goes on around you , you’re being way too hard on yourself . > 
< Heh , merci y/n … you always know what to say  ~ > 
When you eventually manage to lure Bullfrog in the living room and tell him to look up , you’ll find that all your careful planning was definitely worth it just to see that lovely smile on his face …
< Well , look at that … tu m'as surpris , y/n ~ > 
Now come closer … it’s time I reward your hard work , ne penses tu pas ? ~ > 
Honestly he’ll take any excuse to kiss you , but this occasion feel even more special … You went out of your way to prepare such an adorable surprise for him , so you better believe that you and Bullfrog won’t be leaving your spot under the mistletoe for quite some time ;//) 
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Rayman 🧡
Rayman is probably the most smooth and romantic man alive , so he will probably plan for a mistletoe surprise way ahead of you , from the very beginning of the holidays in fact .
Sometimes you can see him carrying Christmas lights around , and you can’t help but have the feeling that he has something in mind … 
< Hold on , let me help you with that Ray … why do you need these many lights anyway ? > 
< Ah , you’ll have to wait and see , honey : I think you’re gonna like it ~ > 
If there is one thing that Rayman loves is creating atmosphere , so the night you eventually go back to his lounge to find it all decorated ( with also tons of gifts for you , cause let’s not forget how much this guy loves to spoil you ;//> ) , you can’t help but feel an overwhelming joy at the thought that he did all of this just to make you smile …
< Heh , I take it you like my little surprise , hm ? ~ >
< Like it ? I love it Ray , it’s amazing ! 
You’re such a sweetheart , thank you so much ~ > 
< No need to thank me , it’s really the least I could do for you y/n !
Though if I were you , I’d take a look at the ceiling for a second … > 
As soon as you look up and see a mistletoe hanging above the two of you , the way you blush in realization is enough to make Rayman’s heart skip a beat …
He just can’t get enough of how beautiful you look right now , your cute features  illuminated by the lights he placed all over the room .
< Heh , I … wanted to make you a mistletoe surprise at some point too , but I think you’ve handled it way better than me , hun . > 
< Don’t worry my love , there’s plenty of time for another one … I’ll gladly take any chances I can get to kiss you , so that’s definitely not a problem for me ~ > 
His incredibly cheesy , adorable comment makes you chuckle , and when you lean forward to meet his lips you can hear Rayman sigh softly while kissing you back , almost like he had been looking forward to that moment all night …
You’re honestly anything he could ever ask for , and if he had the ability to stop time he would be more than happy to do it here under the mistletoe , alone with his beloved ❤️
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Ramon 🖤
He isn’t … feeling very festive :
while he does his best to smile when he’s around you , Ramon’s mind is crowded with worries about Eden , about getting the both of you caught , but since you know him better than anyone you were quick to catch up to that . 
< Hey , it’s okay if you don’t feel like doing much for the holidays , y’know ?
We can just stay here and relax . > 
< Yeah , but … I don’t know , I would’ve liked to do something special for you , but we can’t go anywhere without risking to have those assholes notice us … > 
< Ram , we don’t have to … the best gift I could’ve wished for is already here , right next to me , so please don’t worry about that , okay ? > 
< Heh … that was very smooth y/n , not gonna lie ~ 
Seriously though , thank you … it means a lot . > 
Despite what you told him , Ramon is still very determined to find a way to show you his appreciation for everything you’ve done for him , so the moment he finds a mistletoe hidden in a box an idea crosses his mind : 
it may be small , but it might just work . 
< Hey y/n ? Could you come here ? > 
< Coming Ram ! Just give me a second , I was trying to see if we had enough ingredients to make some Christmas cookies … > 
As soon as you reach the living room , you get the feeling that there is something different about it , even though you can’t exactly pin point what it is …
However , when you look up and see the mistletoe hanging on the ceiling you realize what’s going on .
< Aw , that’s so cute love ! I - mm — > 
Before you can even finish your sentence , Ramon’s hands get a hold of you , gently pushing you down to lock your lips in a loving , passionate kiss …
You didn’t really expect that to happen , but you’re definitely not disappointed … not one bit .
< … here … take this as my gift for you , my love ~ 
I know it’s not much , but - > 
< Ramon , sweetie … > 
The moment your hand caresses his hair he immediately melts under your touch , his eyes never leaving yours as you smile tenderly at your boyfriend .
< It was perfect ~ > 
That was the start of a night filled with displays of affection , and while holding you in his arms in your bed Ramon can’t help but feel like the luckiest person in the world , even though you’re both wanted by Eden’s police forces …
For once , those worries can’t seem to torment him , and he couldn’t be happier . 
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theabysss · 9 months
Note
Hiii good morning/afternoon/evening!
I just saw the event post and I have come bearing a request.
If you do not mind..Can I please request a sagau kinda crack fic where there’s a tournament/competition being held in Teyvat where vision users must prove their love and devotion to the creator by fighting to the death (oooh brave scaryyy fighttt~) and whoever loses a.k.a dies are “punished”
Everyone thinks this “punishment” is horrible. Like they’ll be sent to a place where they can no longer feel their creator’s grace.
But little do they know this punishment actually just turns them into one of the creators thousand of plushies.
So they just sit there in the bed, unblinking, soft and squishy, watching their beloved Grace going on about their day normally
I recently read the Zhongli turning into a plush fic and my mind went “How about the other vision users turning into a plush?” Also I think my request is more like a reverse!isekai than sagau..Sorry..!
Fem or GN!Reader please! (While I prefer fem as I’m a female I would like this to be as inclusive as possible for other people out there..! So GN is most likely more suitable)
I’m not sure who the characters are but..If you can, can you please add any of the anemo boys and Itto?
I apologize for making this incredibly long. Please feel free to delete this request if you don’t want to do it! Anyways, that’s all. Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful day!
It's okay about the length of your request, I really liked that idea. I hope you enjoy the way I wrote the fic, this is my first time responding to a request and I'm a little nervous. Of the anemo boys, I chose Kazuha because I'm actively trying to get him c2 now, I hope this fic will help me lure him. If you have any other idea and you like how I wrote this one, you can send another request while the event lasts, I will be glad. ヽ(´。• ᵕ •。`)ノ
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summary: A tournament in which your allogenes must fight to the death with each other, proving their loyalty and devotion to you Creator. But what fate awaits the losers?
characters: Kazuha, Itto, Zhongli, Raiden + mentions of some other characters.
warnings/tags: gn!Reader, religious + cult themes, possessive & obsessive thoughts, description of deaths (not detailed).
word count: 2.2k
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It was a beautiful sunny summer day, the warm wind playfully ruffled your hair, it must have been Venti's antics. Ordinary inhabitants of the regions came to support the vision wielders from their nations, hoping that one of their people could become one of the seven champions, bestowing glory on the entire nation. For your allogenes, as they said, participation in the tournament was the best way to show their loyalty, love and devotion to you. You chuckled, their willingness to put their lives on the line for a slim chance of winning and getting your confession amused you.
You shifted your gaze to the archons standing next to the throne, they were forbidden to participate, otherwise the outcome of the tournament would have been too predictable, and it was not interesting that way. Although you allowed adepts and youkai to participate, and it may not have been fair, you just wanted… more entertainment. Venti's offended expression popped into your head when he knew he couldn't compete in the tournament. On that day, he followed you like a tail, not unstick for a second, hoping that you will change your mind. The reaction of the other archons was much more restrained, but each of them was certainly upset by the impossibility of participating in the competition. After all, they were your most loyal followers, following you for thousands of years, and the fact that you denied them the opportunity to show their loyalty to you frustrated them. But your desire was above all, so they simply accepted your decision.
Catching your gaze, Zhongli bowed his head respectfully.
"Do you need anything, Your Grace?" The geo archon's eyes were full of awe and willingness to fulfill your every wish.
"Please feel free to tell us if you need anything." Ei joined the conversation. "Perhaps you would like to taste the Inazuma confections? I have specially brought them for you, and I hope they can please your exquisite taste, Your Grace."
"Sounds wonderful, I'll gladly taste them, in that case, Zhongli, could you make some fruit tea?"
"With pleasure, Your Grace." Zhongli bowed.
You smiled brightly at both of them and noticed how Zhongli's breath hitched for a second, and a blush spread across Ei's cheeks. You followed them with your eyes as they went to fulfill your requests. The tournament was about to start and up to this point you wanted to face some of your especially favorite allogenes. So that you instructed the servant to bring the two people you named.
Itto could be heard from far away, explaining something very loudly to Kazuha walking beside him.
"Of course, I will definitely take the place of one of the seven champions, it cannot be otherwise, because I am the great and invincible Arataki Itto, the supreme, the one and oni!"
"Behave yourself, we are in front of the Creator." A smile appeared on Kazuha's face as he met your eyes and knelt down on one knee with his hand on his heart, Itto follows his example.
"I'm glad to see you my allogenes, you can get up from your knees, let's leave excessive formality."
Kazuha and Itto obey your order, you could see a spark of curiosity in their eyes, why did you ask them to come? Just do not think that they were unhappy with this, for them it was only a joy to be next to you, your presence always warmed their hearts.
"I just wanted to wish you the best of luck for the competition, you are one of my favorite followers." Your smile was more tender than the most expensive silk.
"I'm honored to be one of your favorites, Your Grace, I won't let you down, I promise." There was a fire in Kazuha's eyes that should have led him to victory.
"That's right, we will definitely win! With Your Grace's faith in our strength, we will definitely become champions! Ushi and I will show you excellent fights and after the victory, maybe Your Grace will agree to fights with bugs."
"Well, if you win, I'm really up for a couple of fights." You giggled. "I won't delay you, you can go back to the others."
Bowing once more, Itto and Kazuha left, and a minute later Zhongli and Ei returned.
"As you requested your tea Your Grace, the flavor is based on sun-dried mulberry petals and should have a sweet aftertaste due to the addition of zaytun peach juice." Zhongli gave you an elegant porcelain cup and placed the teapot on the table next to the throne.
"It's a dango Your Grace, bon appetit." Ei handed you a plate with colorful balls strung on a stick and poured with sauce.
You take a bite and the sweetness in your mouth. Tasty. The widths are tender and seem to melt in your mouth, you cover your eyes with pleasure. In the blink of an eye, you eat the confection and look at the plate with sadness.
"It was delicious." You put plate on the table and pick up a hot mug of tea and blow on it before you take a sip.
Ei lights up with joy "I'm glad you enjoyed it, maybe you'd like some more sweets after the tournament?"
"I won't refuse such a generous offer." You lean back on the throne and continue to sip the tea, just like Zhongli said it had a sweetish aftertaste. Not the worst tea you've had in your long life.
Soon the iron smell of blood will be in the air and the people will cheer for cruelty. What a rotten world, but how do you like it. Perhaps among all your creations, they were the most bloodthirsty and devoted. Your beautiful dolls, ready for incredible deeds, are all covered in blood and with wide smiles on their faces until the very end. The last sip of tea marks the beginning of a bloody dance from which seven will come out victorious, and the rest… what about them, something much more interesting awaits them.
It's time to start the tournament. Thousands of eyes are attentively watching you with bated breath as you rise from your throne, walk to the edge of the loggia and put your hands on the railing. A wide, joyful smile appears on your face and you begin to speak.
"Today, on this beautiful day, there will be a tournament with life-and-death battles between my precious allogenes. The names of the seven winners will be covered with glory and they will be personally blessed by me. The losers will be punished after the resurrection. The stakes are high and if anyone wishes to opt out, now is the last time you can do so." Your voice, picked up by the power of the anemo, resounded throughout the arena.
You look around the participants and all you see in their eyes is the will to win. Their souls burn with fiery determination and no one is going to retreat. Even if the punishment is excommunication from your divine presence, a terrible event, the thought of which makes their hearts bleed, they were willing to take the risk. Your gaze lingers on Kazuha, his serenity standing out a lot from the nervous anticipation of the other allogenes, which some of them hid just a little more carefully than others. Also striking was Itto's high spirits, whose wide smile was brighter than the sun. No wonder they were your favorites.
"Since there is no one who wants to withdraw, let's start the tournament." You returned to your throne and prepared to watch magnificent battles in which every drop of blood spilled was dedicated to you.
The number of contenders for victory gradually decreased. After each battle, the sand in the arena changed its color to red more and more, and the screams of the crowd became louder. Childe quickly and brutally cracking down on the next opponent, ignoring other people's attempts at resistance and having time to wink at you at the end of each fight, before someone else's head flies away from the body. Diluc whose phoenix mercilessly roasts the next unfortunate to the bones, so that the smell of burnt flesh could be felt a few more fights after. Distracting the attention of opponents with the help of hydro illusions and the swordsmanship of the Kamisato clan brought Ayato victory after victory.
Unfortunately, your favorites' chances of winning were dwindling every second, each of them was badly enough wounded that he might not survive his next fight. However, you never really believed in their victory, but still called them to give them hope. Yes, and then it will be funny to watch how they will apologize to you for losing, when you also personally bestowed your blessing of luck on them. Though they'll have to survive the resurrections to begin with, it's a pity you didn't say how quickly it would happen, so they would have been in a very unusual position since then, but you didn't think they'd complain.
The last fights have passed and the seven winners have been determined, as you thought Kazuha and Itto were not among them. The spectators from the regions whose participants won shout even louder than before, while the residents of the losers are depressed and look enviously. You go down to the arena with Zhongli and Ei, and when you almost slip on the blood-stained sand, you grab Geo Archon's hand. Zhongli's muscles tense up under your touch, and the warmth of your hand is felt vividly even through the fabric. He closes his eyes, hiding his pupils that have become vertical for a second, you were so close to him, exciting close. Your warm palm burned through him, making him feel butterflies in his stomach, as mortals said.
You do not focus on what happened, and without letting Zhongli say a word, you quickly approach the winners. The Allogenes' eyes flare jealously when they notice you are holding Zhongli's hand, but you don't let that feeling flare up and start talking.
"Congratulations to you all on your victory, your strength and devotion have been proven, this evening there will be a ball where you will be honored and I will perform a blessing ritual."
They bow respectfully and praise you, saying that it was only by your mercy that they won. How happy they are now standing in front of you among all the applicants. You smile favorably at them, allowing them to enjoy your presence next to them. When you leave, they sadly follow you with their eyes, but it is not so strong because they know that you will see each other again in the evening.
You dress up in beautiful clothes made of expensive fabrics to your taste, smile at the mirror, knowing that the eyes of all those present will be turned to you. After all, you were their Creator, their precious Creator for whose sake they were ready for anything. You enjoy the ball, drink sparkling wine, which, unfortunately or fortunately, did not affect you in any way and dance with some winners. When one of them manages to make you laugh, all those present eagerly absorb this sound, recording it on the subcortex of consciousness in order to reproduce it later.
You return to your chambers and fall on the bed without undressing, you may have been immortal, but emotional fatigue still affected you. There were a lot of plush toys in your room, they were everywhere, on the bed, sitting in armchairs and on bookshelves. Their eyes seemed to be watching you intently. Well, there was nothing surprising in the fact that they did it. You took the toy in which Kazuha was supposed to be. A cute charming toy for you, silent, but understanding, seeing and feeling everything. And there were a lot of those. You gently kissed the toy, if you had done this while he was a human you are sure that he would have been redder than boiled cancer. The lack of reaction was frustrating, so sooner or later you were going to put them back into human bodies. In the end, it would be a real loss of so many insanely loyal and devoted followers. But for now, they could just be your cute toys.
Night or day they are always watching, greedily absorbing every little thing, every gesture, everything that you want to show them. Your sleepy expression in the morning, the way you stretch before finally getting out of bed, the exposed areas of your skin when you get out of the bathroom. They enjoy all these and are infinitely glad to be here in your chambers so close to you. Getting to know you better and better, remembering all the little habits. They don't want it to end, you won't let them get that close if they become human again, will you? So they'd rather be here with you in that state, just please don't leave them alone don't put them away in dark wardrobes or closets, let them watch. Please.
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Reblogs, comments, are always greatly appreciated! ヽ(o^ ^o)ノ
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graceofagodswrath · 5 months
Note
Ok ok ok your "Humans of Transformers franchise are space orcs" rant is out of this world.
I detest with passion when humans are reduced to pets and plot devices when instead the story could be about two alien species finding one another equally amazing/terrifying for their own respective reasons.
Here is my question: do humans and Cybertronians see how eerily similar they are? They have love of music, familial relationships, similar urban infrastructure, societal structure, financial systems, competitive entertainment, organized societies and war, colonialism, recreational intercourse, marriage...
Not to mention, why was it never addressed how similar both species look: bipedal, waists, noses, cheekbones, 5 fingers, chins, facial expressions and sense of aesthetics and beauty? Sure, humans have hair but in rather strategic places.
Veins and wires, blood and energon, metal and flesh, nanobytes and blood cells, Sparks and brain impulses, sexual organs...
Imagine Autobots arrive on Earth for the first time expecting some primitive cave-dwellers, only to encounter a less advanced mini-version of Cybertronian cities (New York, Singapore, London, Rome, Tokyo, Rio, Dubai...) and societies running on scientific, artistic and philosophical development which has no right existing on the ruthless, all-organic planet such as Earth is. Societes run by creatures who 4.000.000 (the duration of their war) years ago were hanging from the trees btw.
Autobots would be terrified.
Lemme make sure this response saves this time, cause it took me a minute to answer cause my first deleted and I had so much written I got unbelievably angry and refused to even look at the tumblr app.
But here we are.
So, this is EXACTLY what I have been thinking about for who k owe how long. It’s also the intro to this wack as fuck universe idea I’ve had in my head a while, and have kinda hinted at in my other works, but I’ve never gone into detail about.
And I still won’t.
Anyways, yes. It’s crazy that we backlit humans so much when any other sentient species is about. Transformers, TMNT, etc (I’m on a one track mind, feel free to jot down any other fandoms I can’t think of). The main theme of these stories? HUMANS SUCK. And that is severely unfair. People want to cry about how much our generation doesn’t give a shit anymore. Have you SEEN the media we feed kids???
That’s why I live Humans are Space Orcs so much. It really puts into perspective how unique and batshit our species is.
So, onto the Transformers vs humans concepts. The ONLY reason (forgoing technoism and general hate towards organics) cybertronians don’t see humanity as an imminent threat, or one in general, is because of size. WE BE SMALL AF. Can’t blame them, I get it. We do the same. Insects? Fuck them mfs.
But have you seen a botfly or tick burrow into your skin? The infection that comes form that? Have you seen ants jump a small animal as a colony and absolutely shred it? Or a spider only biting you, and the horror the venom causes (recluses and huntsman’s specifically). We have a good fucking reason for disliking these mfs.
But transformers? These are organic experiences. Worst they go through are rust infections, spark death, the works. They are not at risk the same way we are. That is why they view organics as small and inconsequential. They have no idea how hard we fight to simply stay alive.
And now the similarities. It’s understandable that they wouldn’t immediately recognize the physical, cultural, and psychological similarities between our species. Transformers are an incredibly diverse race, like any other. But specifically in physical form. Your average cybertronian holds a similar appearance to your average human. We tend to have the same features, just with different names. Eyes, noses, faceplates, ears, two arms, two legs. Sure that’s average for them too. But they are unique because of the fact that they have two forms. Vehicle mode. Their mode decides what they’re second mode looks like, which can create extreme diversity is appearance. Small, large, many limbed or not.
So the immediate similarities probably wouldn’t jump out to them in an odd way. There’s also the idea that because they’re so spread out in the universe, they’ve seen other organic races that are also similar. Pairs of every body part could be the common denominator among species.
That goes culturally too. War, love, music, government, politics, it’s all a natural form of sentient evolution. Another common denominator. It’s how it’s done that makes it unique. And the similarities between human and cybertronian culture is uncomfortably familiar.
I think that’s why cybertronians are seen being closest with humans rather than other species in the shows and comics (obviously because the audience is human and they need relation to characters but shhhh forget that for a sec). This is where the theories start.
Let’s say cybertronians begin to recognize the weird similarities between our species. The really, really weird stuff. The itty bitty details. Like:
- how we also mainstream kissing on the lips as the top tier romantic gesture.
- use verbal tone and cues for our language.
- have intensely complicated interpersonal relationships in the exact same manner.
- suffer from extreme mental health issues like depression, anxiety, PTSD (I totally headcannon that forms of adhd, autism, and ocd exist in cybertronian society, have y’all not seen my boy rodimus prime??)
- will also destroy each other in the name of our gods, until we have a common enemy.
That’s just the basics I could come up with. The only time I actually saw a moment where a transformer genuinely take a moment to realize that humans can be a threat, was in transformers prime. Episode 6 of beast wars (I think, correct me if wrong), where Miko beats the ever loving fuck out of an insecticon (I think) and upon Megatron hearing this, just goes blank Kubrick stare for a hot second. Man had an ugly realization that did not fit in with anything he had experienced his whole life.
AND THEY NEVER FUCKING ADDRESSED IT EVER AGAIN. Sick of this shit. Could’ve had the most badass character development, where the humans actually proved useful and did something (it would have fit Milo’s character so perfectly too) and scared the utter shit out of the transformers. BUT NO. They continue to be annoying as fuck.
One thing I loved about TF Prime was that it canonically turned Unicron into Earth. And humans came from the earth. Which relates humans beings and cybertronians so hard. Cousins Fr. We are the cybertronian equivalent of organics, and transformers the inorganic equivalent of humans. The individuality, the chaos, the culture, it clicks. There is so much material to really go into it.
But they never do. Don’t get me wrong, I love Transformers lord and just discovering more without humans being involved. We’re just annoying af at this point. But there is so much u tapped potential in transformers actually taking the chance to LEARN about us. But we’re just friends (pets) to these mfs.
That’s why I love TF Earthspark so far. Transformers ingrained into human culture because they’re not from Cybertron, and cybertronians having to adapt to human culture because they have no where else to go. Granted, it’s a kids show. There’s only so much they can do. But I’m excited for where it’ll lead. It really shows how much of threat and ally humans are, and how we are just as diverse as cybertronians.
I need to write another fic about cybertronians meeting humans their size from our world tho. Need to continue my old piece. Would give me so much life. Y’all help motivate me, college draining my ass.
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the-bloody-sadist · 5 months
Note
in case no one else has asked, please list your top 10 BL manga/manwha? 👀
i am. very interested in what other media you enjoy, especially BL
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Combining these two bc I didn't wanna leave the second out!
(I wasn't a big fan of Blood Bank personally but I'm so glad it helped you with your world building Lil Whale!!)
I'm hoping some of these are unheard of for you guys because THERE ARE SO MANY BL/YAOI AND I READ THEM CONSTANTLY BUT NOT SO MANY ARE FANTASTIC AND MIND-BLOWING AND SPECTACULAR AND DEEPLY PSYCHOLOGICAL! I'm pretty sure I'll end up listing WAY more than 10, mainly because I want to highlight ones I feel like a lot of people haven't read. ALSO because I read so fucking many of them that I've collected a stash and NOW IS MY CHANCE TO YELL ABOUT THEM.
Just a disclaimer, these are not in any sort of order, as they're all about the same level in my head, just grouped. I'll list the "big name" BLs that I adore after these! First up are the ones that either have a quiet fandom or aren't well known! Since there'll be so many, I'm not going to say much about them, just know that usually no BL/Yaoi is perfect to me, since there are many bad psychology tropes here and there or unnecessary cruelties that aren't exactly realistic etc., but overall, I like the way that the story and characters are handled and/or love the art.
Here's the top five of my top ten that's not a top ten bc there are so many (I just said I wouldn't group them but I lied my ass off apparently):
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Jealousy [Scarlet Beriko]: This is one of those that emotionally hits so hard that it will stick with me forever and I will usually tear up just a tiny bit when I think back to the moments that made this one so beautiful. A lot of times a story with major hurt, angst, and tragedy won't wrap up with enough to make me scream and cheer at the end. But THIS ONE DID. And I stopped reading for a while when a big event happened because I thought it would end horribly and I'd have to suffer three weeks of fiction-induced depression for a man who wasn't even real. BUT NAY. The themes you get in this one revolve around loneliness (huge draw for me, it always hits), mafia-connected characters and the rivalries from that, self-destructive prostitution, and characters who have difficulty receiving love without freaking out. Are those even themes idk. OH WELL. YOU GET THE POINT. I want this one on my shelf. You might've heard of it, but the fandom is silent so I never did. T_T OH ALSO THE ART ON THIS ONE IS GORGEOUS I FUCKING LOVE IT.
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Hitori to Hitori no 3650nichi [Hitomi]: First of all, favorite manga artist. FAVORITE MANGA ARTIST. I'm never exactly sure if the artist is also the writer or if the writer is never the artist or...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. Anyway! I listed this particular title because it was the first that I found by this person - but then I discovered it was a part of a bigger series, and there are like I DON'T KNOW FIVE DIFFERENT MANGA?? OR SOMETHING??? Related to this one. I don't know which order, I just know that I read them all in a frenzy. THE CHARACTERS. OH! OH THE CHARACTERS! Oh my gods, it's so good. LMFAO. The arcs these characters have are fantastic, and I loved the fact that the abuser in one is shown to be the victim of abuse in a prequel story, and that his anger issues and other elements of his personality came about to affect him and destroy him. Just...I don't recall the details, READ IT. That's all. Spectacular depictions of nuanced trauma within abusive relationships.
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The Beast Must Die [Lee Hyeon Sook]: This remains one of my favorite depictions IN ANY MEDIA of a psychopath, because it's SO accurate and I'm SO fucking proud of the author for doing their research and OH MY GODS YOU GUYS IT'S ABOUT TO GET A DRAMA CD LET'S FUCKING GO! This story is so good. It's so evil. It's so psycho-thriller. It's so WELL DONE. It features a dark academia-ish secret society within a college setting who hunt people for sport, sometimes. LIKE. Come on. And the psychopath (dark hair) IS THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST! You could literally hear the summary and go "oh this is for Sadist". And I don't get a lot of those that deliver this well. SOMETIMES the art makes me twist my head a little but YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT CARE OKAY? It's just SO good. There's murder, there's kidnapping, and - most importantly - a main character who doesn't just DEAL with whatever the psychopath does. He's smart, he fights back, he learns to understand psychopathy to determine if he should remain with the love interest...it's fantastic. That's all. I will stop. *BANGS THE WALL*
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Aporia [Seontae]: ALL HAIL THE HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIPS THAT STILL HOLD TENSION AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT AND SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!! This is my favorite BDSM-themed story. Everything is consensual, but is everything safe??? Not when it comes to the main character's emotions and tendency to sacrifice his wellbeing for a partner. BUT NOT TO WORRY, HIS SADISTIC LOVE INTEREST IS CONSIDERATE AND ATTENTIVE AND CARES ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!! This is, perhaps, one of my favorite depictions of a REAL sadist. A real one as in a realistic, irl BDSM-relationship sadist. Someone who is just as worried about taking care of his partner as he is about hurting him JUUUUST right. ANYWAY! THAT'S ALL! READ IT! HE'S LITERALLY ME!
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Royal Servant [MasterGin, Chungnyun]: Okay, we were talking about healthy BDSM in the previous one, now let's talk about TOXIC BDSM-THEMES THAT I LOVE. Lmao. DO YOU LIKE MASTER/SLAVE DYNAMICS? DO YOU LIKE STORIES WHERE THE ARC LEADS TO THE ABUSIVE MASTER EVENTUALLY LEARNING TO NOT BE ABUSIVE AND LOVE THE SLAVE? YEAH ME TOO. I DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE THIS ANY FURTHER. AUTHOR OF ANGEL BUDDY, THIS IS THE ONE THAT I KNEW HER FOR FIRST.
A bunch of other good ones you may or may not have heard of (I won't describe every one of these unless I have something particular to say, so enjoy the pictures from them that I snatched):
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Love me in the Wilderness [Wang Tao]
Neon Sign Amber [Ogeretsu Tanaka]
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Zetsubou ni Nake [Shinou Ryo]: Guys. This story is UNIQUE AS HELL. I had to say something about it. The premise is that a man who was raped turns around and goes back after his rapist and rapes him back, and then they fall in love. IT'S....the amount of times my jaw dropped was insane on this one. SOMEHOW IT'S WRITTEN SO WELL. SOMEHOW THEY NAILED THE STRANGE REALISM OF IT AND HAD ME TEARING UP OVER THE INTENSITY OF THE RAPE SCENES. VERY WELL-PACED, VERY TRAUMATIC IN A GOOD WAY. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. The way they come to love each other after this crazy foundation of mutual rape is IMPRESSIVE. Kudos to the writer.
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Love or Hate [Yeongha]: This is a very well-known one but there's like zero fandom so I think it fits here. Also a lot of hate going around for it? Which I never understood, fuck those guys. This remains one of the most beautifully-written that I've ever read, and I mean that purely in like...the ACTUAL writing on the page. I'm talking poetry, purple prose. I just recall being blown away by that, and no manga before or since has ever reached its level. For once I felt like the writer was also a novelist because of the way that they put things, and had a clear voice in the style. Did the main boy end up with someone I didn't want him to end up with at the end? Yes. But I felt like it fit pretty well, and it was sort of a tragedy, and it was supposed to hit you painfully in the gut. A lot of people were mad at the main character for that and I don't really think it's fair. In any case! A beautiful story with complex characters and intriguing dilemmas. Highly recommend it.
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Shangri La no Tori (Birds of Shangri La) [Ranmaru Zariya]
Two in Six Billion [Denzou]
The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace [Upi]: Great story and character-building so far! I will say that once it became porn, it dove a little too heavily into it for me. Like I only needed one scene of the porn, I was enjoying the panic attack scenes much more. BUT YEAH, IT'S ONGOING, SO WE'LL SEE WHERE IT GOES! But the panic attack scenes were the reason I read it and yes, I did tear up.
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Sleeping Dead and Living Dead [Asada Nemui]: I RECENTLY FOUND THIS ONE AND ADOOOOOOREEE IT SO MUCH. I DO NOT CARE THAT IT'S AN OLD SCIENTIST AND HIS ZOMBIE PATIENT. NORMALLY THAT WOULD HOLD NO SWAY OVER ME, BUT OH GODS, THE ART IS SO PRETTY AND THE STORY IS SO GOOD. I LOVE THE LITTLE ZOMBIE MAN! I LOVE THE LITTLE ROMANCE THEY'VE GOT!
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Private Lessons [ANCO, Mongya]: It's cuuuuute what can I saayyyyy it has BDSM and threesomes and I liked it. Very entertaining. Scratches the BDSM itch and the little SUB WAS SO CUTE. Anyway.
Kingyo no Ubugoe [Gontaku Nido]
From Points of Three [White Eared]: Threesome dynamics!!
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Silent Lover [Qiang Tang, Bai Li Jun Xi]: I STOPPED THIS ONE AT A CERTAIN POINT BECAUSE IT DIPPED INTO WEIRD M-PREG AND STUFF I CANNOT READ. But BEFORE all that, I was deeply ingrained in this one. It has a main character who can't speak (a particular weakness of mine) and he's OH SO CUTE and he's given as a sex slave basically to the emperor (emperor? idk he's a kingly man, something like that), and the emperor is evil but learns to be soft and yet it takes a LONG TIME SO I WAS BAWLING HYSTERICALLY OVER SOME OF THE HEARTWRENCHINGLY PAINFUL SCENES IN THIS FOR THE POOR YUU-ER. A good read until it decided to go the omegaverse-by-magic-potions route. I didn't stay to figure out where it actually ended up.
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Yoru wa Tomodachi [Ido Gihou]
Toumei na Ai no Utsuwa [Hitomi]
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Re:Birth [Misuaki Asou]: The singular omegaverse story in existence that I actually liked. Hopefully that says a lot. Mostly because it's about the omegaverse elements NOT being present for the main character and him trying to fake it because he's lonely and afraid that his partner (an alpha *shakes off the disgusting label because who the fuck thought alpha was a cool word*) will leave him if he finds out he's just a regular guy (aka beta I guess? ABO is weird idc).
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Sahara no Kuro Washi [Soutome Emu]: MASTER SLAVE MASTER SLAVE---
Haru ni Kaeru [Kunieda Saika]
Incorrigible [Bbong]
Well Done! [ANCO, Mongya]
Nemuri Otoko to Koi Otoko [Zariya Ranmaru]
Even If You Don't Love Me [Pando]: It dropped off SUPER hard (it's ongoing still) but damn was it good in the beginning. I am sick and tired of where it's at currently but the psychological manipulation and the horror of a certain twist in the storyline was CRUSHING to me. I only wish that it would have gone a better way after it happened, because it slowly destroyed itself and became like a lot of tropey rape stories. The asshole just keeps being an asshole and it's not really where the story seemed to want to go with that. But otherwise, it started off strong and I'll give it kudos for that.
Bigger titles I'm pretty sure everyone has heard of that I enjoy:
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Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai [Yoneda Kou]: Is it a little unrealistic that literally everyone in this story is gay apparently and wants to fuck one man apparently and/or rape him? Yes, absolutely. Does that matter once you're in the story and it's so good and all these unrealistic cruelties make a really strong bond between the main love interest and this self-destructive masochist who's probably not really a masochist but only interested in hurting himself because he doesn't know how else to handle his trauma from childhood? Ummmm yeah. Anyway! This one had a lot of inspiration and a lot of tears and a lot of obsession from me. I re-read it all the time, I watch the movie over and over, I listen to the audio drama and cry at my favorite scenes. Do I care in the end that it's a little unrealistic at times? No but I do laugh sometimes when I'm about to share it with a new person. Because BL is just like that generally and you've got to put up with a little of those tropes to find your favorite stories. THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP FAVORITES OF ALL TIME FOR ME BTW, IT'S ONLY SO LOW DOWN HERE BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN YAOI KNOWS ABOUT THIS ONE ALREADY, AND WE'RE ALL AWARE OF HOW GOOD IT IS.
ENNEAD [Mojito]: I will say that this is basically the best manga/comic/manhua...what's the Chinese word idk ANYTHING OF THIS MEDIA TYPE that I have ever read. It's not done, and people have been complaining that it's starting to fall into the common BL tropes but you know what I do NOT care. Mojito is a genius, Mojito is a master storyteller, Mojito is beautiful, Mojito is strong - I just love Mojito and this work. So much. The action, the horror of rape, the deep-set character conflicts and dilemmas and internal turmoils. Everything, nailed it. Nailed it. And not to mention it's set in FUCKING EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY AND THEY'RE ALL GODS AND THEY HAVE SUCH COOL BATTLES AND COSTUMES AND DUDE???? I'm so hooked. That's all.
Killing Stalking [Koogi]: OBVIOUSLY. I don't really need to say anything about this one except that yeah, some of the psychology is a little off and some of it is just super shallow. But I loved the characters and that's what mattered in the end. I fell in love with Sangwoo too and it ripped my heart out when I read the ending. I was depressed for like two weeks and it was the first story that had ever affected me that way, but I was also younger and this was one of my first yaoi/BLs and yeah. GREAT story though, fantastic storytelling, very lovable characters. Sangwoo was handled so much better than most "asshole/kidnapper/rapist" characters and I will never stop appreciating that, because a lot of writers tend to forget that your villains have to have redeeming qualities if you want us to like them (????). Jinx, I'm fucking coming for you. Suck my dick. KOOGI FTW.
Missing Love/A Married Man [In Hyerin]: Some of the DESCRIPTIONS of how trauma works especially of the sexual nature in this story are SO. SO. GOOD. However, I am beginning to grow VERY ANNOYED at where it decided to go with the most current updates of the story. The author did enough trauma to the main boy, now it's getting so incredibly excessive that it's overdoing it and the author's kinks are showing through. LIKE I GET IT. Okay? I do. But this one became too much and I need him to return to the actual story arc of going through that trauma so he can HEAL with the right person taking care of him.
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MadK [Ryo Sumiyoshi]: I am into NONE of the kinks that would lead to me picking up this manga. I hate demons, I'm not a monsterfucker, I can't do extreme guro, and yet I SAW CANNIBALISM. THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT I THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A TRY FOR. And then accidentally I got obsessed because the plot is AMAZING and the writing is SO GOOD and who cares if I hate demons and monsters ALL OF THEM ARE BADASS AND HOT (??) AND IT CEASES TO MATTER. Good on the writer for making them appeal by personality alone and expressions and whatever else you signed a deal with the devil to make me like because it worked. Also the guro is beautiful, so it doesn't even matter. Hannibal levels.
Warehouse [Killerwhale]
Painter of the Night [Byeonduck]
Viewfinder/Finder [Yamane Ayano]
Given [Kizu Natsuki, Gusari]
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Nii-Chan [Harada] (and basically every other work by Harada)
Sadistic Beauty Side Story [Geumsan Lee, Woo Yeonhui]
Dine With a Vampire [Pangin, Pinko]
Angel Buddy [Mastergin, Chungnyun]
My Partner's Tastes and Fetishes [Deok Hwa]
Interview with a Murderer [KJK]
On or Off [A1]
Steel Under Silk [Snob]
The Pawn's Revenge [Evy]: It was going to be SO GOOD! And then it dropped off harder than a boulder from a balcony and I have absolutely no idea why the author took it the way that they took it, but go off I guess. It's boring as hell now but it started off with promise and I enjoyed the art and character designs. Too bad, I suppose.
Caste Heaven [Ogawa Chise]: An old classic with all the sticky sometimes icky mostly ridiculous BL tropes but hey, it's cute. It's sexy. It's fun. I don't care.
Wet Sand [Doyak]: We're still in the beginning stage of this one but I'm excited to see where it goes! Plus the art SLAPS ASS like nobody's business.
19 Days [Old Xian]: I hate comedy, I hate fluff, I hate buddies that never become lovers, but none of that mattered when I picked this one up. The duality of man. Bite-sized chapters and ACTUALLY AN EVENTUAL ROMANCE that none of us thought we'd ever get.
Legs That Won't Walk [Black Apricot]: Although this one dropped off hard for me and I'm really just following it to see if it picks up again and does something interesting (it probably won't) I did enjoy it in the beginning. I just get tired of the "asshole just keeps being an asshole and nothing else but woobified slut keeps coming back to him??" without the strong and realistic undercurrent of Reasons Why Someone Would Come Back such as manipulation or threats or unhealthy attachment. Perhaps it was sorta there in the beginning with them but now I'm just like why are we still continuing this story.
Pearl Boy [Inking, Zoy]: *Awkwardly scratches neck* It's not the best okay? It's not. It's really not. I don't like half of the things that occur in this one, but the ART, bro. THE ART, BRO? That's what got me into it and what kept me into it, PLUS I do like little Jooha. I stayed for Jooha, too. Dooshik drives me a little batty most of the time and looks ugly for half the story to me, but when he's badass, he's pretty badass, so I can forgive him. I really don't know why he has such drastically changing appearances because I thought he was someone completely different for a bit LMAO. In any case, I have to admit I like the uhhhhh danger that Jooha gets himself into and the crazy things that make no sense but you know what he gets hurt and then there's comfort and rescue and they cry and I cease to care that it makes no sense. (Sorta, I don't actually cease to care I just laugh awkwardly and go okay sure that's how it works because it's so hard to find stories that don't do this LOL I'm beating a dead horse) BUT WHY DOES HE CUM PEARLS? WILL WE EVER KNOW? WHO THE HELL THOUGHT OF THAT AND WITHOUT A SUPPORTING MAGIC SYSTEM IN THE WORLD TO MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE? IT WENT DOWNHILL SO FAST AND THE ENDING IS TERRIBLE BTW. THE VILLAIN SUCKS.
That's it. I can't talk to much or I'll run out of words but HOPE YOU GUYS FIND SOME NEW READS!!
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pinknightsinmymind · 9 months
Text
【 found family hc's 】
abby anderson x fem!reader & ellie williams x fem!reader
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wc: 4.4k
song rec: house song by searows. i listened to this on loop the entire time i was writing.
content: established relationship, modern!au, fluff galore, hc's for both abs and els, christmas with abs!!!!, bbq with ellie and family, minor angst, but this is all fluff so sweet it rots your teeth, hc's AND long blurbs for abby and ellie, mentions of parent loss(in this modern!au abby's mother passed away), mentions of adoption(for ellie's hc's), and sarah is here!! she is ellie's older sister <33 also pls read a/n for more info
a/n: in which you are dating one of the girlies, meet their fathers, and detailing your journey into becoming part of the family. i kinda wrote this with the idea of what it’s like to not come from a healthy family in mind, but it’s also vague and written in a way where you’re able to interpret it and shape it to fit whatever you have in mind and relate it to what you know. the main theme here, though, is finding/making your own family and building a beautiful life despite your past. this is kinda just me hoping i’ll be able to do the same one day. i began writing this while really sad, but i’m posting this in much better spirits. this started with my sadness, but now it makes me feel hopeful. anyways, pls enjoy, and if you think you’ll need them, get your tissues ready. i love you all and you are all so beautiful and worthy of love and good things. and if any of you ever need anything, my inbox and dm's are open <333
GENERAL HEADCANONS — applies to both abby and ellie
It’s an uncomfortable conversation, but when your relationship with her started getting serious, you explained what your family/home life was like and that although you’d love to, your family probably wouldn’t want to foster a close relationship with either of you. You told her you understood if this was a dealbreaker and if it was something she couldn’t tolerate, but that wasn’t her reaction at all. Instead, you were met with complete understanding that almost left you sobbing. You were happy to have someone finally understand that family—and navigating it—hasn’t been easy for you and it was good to not have things out of your control held against you for once.
As your relationship progressed, she made it clear to you that she’d love to introduce you to her family and that they were excited to meet you. She promised that they’d accept you into open arms and that everything would go well, so there was nothing to worry about.
You were nervous, of course, unsure how any of it would unfold because you had never met her family before. You had heard so much about them and knew they must have been amazing people to have raised someone as great as your girlfriend, but you were still scared. What if they could see everything wrong with you with just one look? What if they thought you were too damaged and no good for their daughter? Or what if they just didn’t like you? It was all so worrisome, but your girlfriend assured you it would all be okay.
Meeting the rest of the family was one thing, but meeting their fathers was the scariest part.
ABBY ANDERSON
You met Abby's dad during Thanksgiving—typical and sappy, but just so Abby. Of course she’d bring someone home during the holidays. You had been dating her for almost a year now, so it was about time you met him. You knew that Abby's mother passed when she was very young, and you also knew it would just be the three of you together for the holiday. Jerry did everything to make any occasion happy for his daughter since he knew her life would be hard enough without a mother, and that included holidays. As a busy surgeon—the top one of your city’s hospital, no less—he’s lucky to get this day off, and although he can’t make a whole turkey on his own, he cooks many other dishes to make up for it. He goes all out making desserts as he likes baking more than cooking, and he’s the main reason Abby has such a sweet tooth.
Jerry is nothing but welcoming to you, telling you how he’s heard so much about you (which in turn makes Abby blush, thinking to herself, He wasn’t supposed to say that! but she still keeps her cool). He asks you all about yourself, if you’re in school and what for, what your plans for the future are, then jumps straight into his dad-threats. He tells you in a serious voice that you better take care of his daughter, then lets out a laugh and offers you a slice of pie.
It went well, and you even stayed the night at Abby's childhood home, sleeping in her big and well-furnished room.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“I think it went well,” you said. The two of you were huddled up underneath the covers in her old bed, and it’s comfier than you expected. Maybe it’s because Abby has you pulled close to her chest as her hand rubs comforting circles on your back, but it’s still heavenly. “I just can’t tell if he likes me or not.”
“Please, he likes you,” she assured you. You could feel her trailing her hand down your sides gently now. “Otherwise he wouldn’t have been in such a good mood today. Promise.” You let out a small sigh at her words. You didn’t want to argue with her about this, and you felt the only thing you could possibly do was hope she was right.
You did see Jerry a few times after that, but it was only when Abby invited you to go see him with her. He was always kind and welcoming, but you couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling in your chest that maybe he didn’t actually like you. What if he was faking all of it? You couldn’t think of any good reasons why he’d like you and accept you with open arms. It didn’t make sense to you because all you knew to expect from a parental figure was rejection. Maybe he just didn’t think you were good enough for his daughter. You didn’t tell Abby any of this, though, because you knew she’d be crushed to hear you don’t think her dad likes you. It’s also because she’ll just tell you for the millionth time he does, and you’d hate asking her for the same reassurance over and over again. In the case of her father’s acceptance, it would do nothing to quell your fears.
You hadn’t expected the holiday season to help erase these fears, but they did. After a late night of watching movies, Abby brought up visiting her father for Christmas with you by her side. She was excited as she told you all about her and her dad’s traditions: drinking hot coco, watching cheesy Christmas movies, stockings full of gifts, and the works. You couldn’t tell her no. Not when her face was beaming with excitement and she had a big smile across her face. You appreciated how much she wanted to include you—no, scratch that, cherished it—but deep down inside you felt out of place. You felt like an environment as soft and as warm as that was not a place where you belonged. It’s not what you knew, not what you were used to, but you put on a brave face for Abby.
You didn’t believe her when she told you how extensively Jerry decorated the house, but it was exactly as she said. As soon as you walked through the front door, you could smell the vanilla candles and the scent of pine mixed together. You were greeted not only by Jerry, but by the presence of mini-Santa statues and multi-colored nutcrackers. There was a big wreath on the outside of the front door, and an even bigger one hung around the family portrait of Abby and her father. The Christmas tree was huge, probably close to six feet tall, and by the smell of the fresh pine emanating from it, you knew it was real. The tree was decorated with gold and silver ornaments, bright lights, tinsel, and a giant star at the top. The fireplace had stockings lined up against the chimney with other statues, trinkets, and family photos lining the shelf. The tree casted a warm glow over the living room, and it just felt so cozy inside. It’s crazy to think that this is what Abby grew up with, that this is the kind of childhood she had, but at the same time you’re happy it was. It’s what she deserves.
It may be Christmas day, but it’s already 9 P.M., so Jerry suggests hot coco, sweets, and a cheesy movie. Abby, of course, agrees and picks out her favorite movie for you all to watch. You helped her pick it out, specifically choosing it because you’ve never seen it before and because you know she loves it. You all get a slice of Jerry’s homemade apple pie, and it’s so warm and gooey you’re sure you’ve never tasted anything like it before. You wonder where in the mix of being a surgeon he found the time to be so good at baking, but it’s still so endearing. You wonder how many times he practiced these recipes for Abby, and it’s so heartwarming. You hope you can one day offer her a home the same way Jerry has.
Jerry settles into his worn-out, leather recliner with his cup of hot chocolate while you and Abby occupy the couch. There’s a glass coffee table in front of it where your two mugs rest as the two of you are snug in a blanket you’re sharing together. You’re nestled into Abby’s side with her arm over your shoulder as you watch the movie together. It’s comfortable, and the warm, yellow lights make the moment that much more beautiful. They cast a glow on Abby, making her look sweeter than she already does. Her hair is down for once, and you’re lost in the tenderness of the moment. Occasionally the two of you move forward and grab your mugs for a sip, but besides that this wholeness has no interruptions. It’s like you can feel your doubts melting away, and you feel comforted, welcomed, by the warmth of this moment. It doesn’t seem to push you away anymore, but rather it’s something you feel compelled to be a part of now. Well, no, that’s not exactly right either. It’s like you are a part of it now, and it’s accepting your embrace rather than your rejection. You don’t feel the need to push it away anymore, to create excuse after excuse as to why you don’t deserve it, and it’s like you’re finally letting it make its home in your heart.
After the movie finished and you all had your fill of hot chocolate, you hear Jerry get up from his seat and mention that he wants to give out stockings. You don’t think much of it, watching the man as he walks up to the fireplace and grabs two of the stockings that were hanging. You hadn’t paid much attention to them earlier, but when he comes up to you and Abby, you realize you should’ve. One has Abby’s name stitched into it with blue and orange thread, and the other has your name threaded into it with your favorite colors. He gives Abby her stocking first, then holds the one with your name on it out towards you. 
“Is that for me?” you asked.
“Sure is,” Abby answered. You glance over at her and she’s practically beaming. She seems so proud of herself.
“Abby helped me make it. She made sure it had your favorite colors and everything,” Jerry explained. You finally take the stocking from his hands, feeling the heft of the weight of whatever was inside.
“I bet she got mad if you suggested a color that wasn’t.” You crack a joke in the face of this moment, because if you think too hard, look at the stocking too long, you might start crying.
“Nearly tore my head off,” Jerry laughed. “But it’s so you know you’re part of the family now.” You nod your head, clenching your jaw as your gaze keeps shifting between the stocking and the floor.
“Thank you,” was all you could manage to say in reply. You’re sure you could burst into tears at any moment, but at the very least they’re happy ones.
ELLIE WILLIAMS
You were never as scared of anything as you were to meet Joel Miller. You had seen him in photos with him and Ellie, and he did not look like he played around. In fact, he looked like he’s never fucked around a day in his life. The man intimidated you, and you had never even met him before.
Ellie’s Uncle Tommy’s birthday was coming up, and you were invited to the family celebration that would include Uncle Tommy, Aunt Maria, Joel, Ellie’s older sister, Sarah, and now you.
You had met Joel in passing with a quick “hello” whenever you visited his and Ellie's house, but you had never formally met him, especially not the rest of the family, either. You had also never met Sarah as she lived in a different city and was older than you and Ellie, but you were excited to. She was a young teen when Ellie had been adopted, and you had heard so many stories from Ellie about what an amazing older sister she was, so that was at least one family member you weren’t scared of. Uncle Tommy and Aunt Maria, though? Maria was intimidating, and Tommy and Joel had both been in the military. Who wouldn’t be afraid?
“Everything’s gonna be okay,” Ellie reassured you. You were both standing in front of Tommy and Maria’s front door, nervous as could be. Ellie held your hand in hers as she rubbed her thumb across your skin. “They’ll love you, promise.” Ellie reached up with her free hand and knocked on the door. A second passed in silence between the two of you before the door opened, and you were met face-to-face with Maria. She had short graying hair and a freckled face that reminded you of Ellie’s, and as soon as her eyes landed on the two of you, her lips turned upwards into a wide smile.
“Ellie, is this [Y/N]?” she asked. Ellie smiled shyly as she nodded her head.
“Yes, this is her,” she answered.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” Maria said politely. She was just all smiles, and she was much warmer compared to the scary image of her you created in your head. To be fair, she did seem really intimidating from her pictures, but she was nothing of the sort.
“Nice to meet you, too,” you managed to reply. You were still nervous, feeling like you were choking on the anxious butterflies dancing around your stomach.
“And she’s polite,” Maria prodded. She smiled even bigger as she pulled the door open for the two of you. “Anyways, come in. Joel and Tommy are in the back with the grill set up already, so just follow me.” Ellie walked through the doorway, pulling you with her towards the back of the house. Maria led you through the house’s front hallway into the living den furnished with couches and countless photos and decor hanging on the blue walls, then turned left into the kitchen. Sitting at the table was an older woman at least in her 30’s scrolling through her phone, but her eyes perked up as soon as she saw you all enter the kitchen. Almost immediately an excited smile spread across her face.
“Sarah!” Ellie greeted. The woman jumped up from her seat and gave Ellie a tight hug.
“Ellie, is this her?” she asked. Her eyes kept moving back and forth between the two of you.
“Yes, this is her,” Ellie answered.
“Wow, I’m so happy to meet you!” Sarah cheered. She came over to you and gave you a hug, something you hadn’t expected, but you returned it the best you could. As soon as Sarah pulled away from the hug, she was talking again. The way she carried herself was so confident and firm, and she held great amounts of eye contact while speaking—something you were struggling with at the moment. “Ellie has told me so much! She never stops talking about you!” She had a sweet, Texan accent when she spoke like Joel, while Ellie only had a slight one in comparison.
“Sarah!” Ellie groaned.
“What?” she asked coyly. “Was I not supposed to say that?” The answer was yes, and she knew that, but how could she resist teasing her little sister? Ellie just rolled her eyes.
“Come on, y’all, they’re waiting for us outside,” Maria announced. She nodded her head in the direction of the door behind the kitchen table, and you found yourself taking a deep breath. The door was glass, so you could see the wooden porch outside and the green grass, but no sign of Joel or Tommy—you know, just the two men who terrified you the most.
“Oh, yeah, I was gonna help Dad with the grill,” Sarah sighed.
“You? Helping with the grill?” Ellie teased.
“Hmm, more like standing there and talking to him,” she said.
“That sounds more like what you meant,” Ellie responded.
“Yeah, see y’all out there.” Sarah got up from her seat and was the first to open the back door, the hot air and smell of grilled meat wafting in as soon as she did. Maria followed her soon after, and you knew you and Ellie should follow suit, but you found yourself stuck, unsure what to do.
“Hey, you okay?” Ellie asked. The sound of the door closing shut hung in the air, and you knew you’d have to open it again soon.
“Yeah, just… nervous,” you explained.
“Everything will be alright, promise. I’m gonna be here the whole time, and we’re gonna be eating, too. That won’t be too bad, now, will it?” she asked.
“No, I guess not,” you replied.
“And you’ve got me right next to you. Don’t forget that.” Ellie gave you a sheepish smile, and you did your best to return it despite the queasiness in your stomach.
The barbeque went well, and it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. In fact, you felt well-received by Tommy as Maria and Sarah helped encourage him to hold conversation with you. The two women did a lot to help conversation flow and welcome you as much as possible, but the one person you felt like you weren’t getting through to was Joel. He was just so… quiet. It’s as if he was always on guard, always analyzing the situation, but what did you expect from a guy who used to be in the military? That seems to be the exact kind of disposition he’d have. He only really gave small replies in single words here and there, maybe an autobiographical question for you, then he’d retreat back to his silence. It was honestly unnerving, and as much as you did your best to immerse yourself in the conversation, in Ellie’s little jokes, Tommy’s laughter, Joel intimidated you more than anyone else ever had before. Why was he so quiet? Did he see something wrong with you? Did he not think you were fit to be his daughter’s girlfriend? Was he waiting for you to make a mistake? Was he planning how to tell Ellie that he didn’t think the two of you were a good match? All the possibilities were endless, and every single one terrified you to no end.
Despite the anxiety eating you up from the inside, you did your best to maintain your composure. You answered whatever questions Ellie’s family had for you, laughed at the jokes like you should have, all while trying to keep the crushing fear at bay. Ellie seemed to sense it somewhat, because at multiple points throughout the dinner she’d grab your hand under the table or rub your thigh comfortingly. When the night started slowing down, the sun sinking lower and lower, Tommy and Maria declared the end of the dinner and started clearing the table. Joel and Sarah disappeared into the house, carrying trash and whatever else they could back inside. Ellie leaned in close to your ear in order to speak.
“How are you feeling?” she whispered.
“I’m doing okay,” you answered. “Not as nervous as before, but still a little.”
“Did you enjoy yourself, though?”
“I did,” you replied.
“Joel and Tommy are good at barbecuing, huh?”
You laughed a little at her prodding. “Yeah, they are.”
“Look, we’re gonna get you some extra family points, yeah? Let’s offer to help Maria clean up. How does that sound?”
“Sounds good to me,” you said. This time you were the one to offer Ellie a little smile, one she was happy to see on your face after such a long day.
“Perfect.” She stood up from her chair and brushed off her jeans. “Hey, Maria, let me and [Y/N] help you clean up a bit,” she announced.
“Well, aren’t you sweet?” Maria asked.
“The sweetest,” Ellie joked. You were next to stand up from the table, picking up both your plate and Ellie’s while she gathered the left behind cups. Tommy had already retreated inside with the large dishes of food, leaving you with just Maria and Ellie. It was quiet besides the clanking of the dishes as all three of you walked inside. Ellie walked behind you as you reentered the house, slotting dishes in the sink and discarding whatever trash she had. Ellie came up behind you, her back pressing into yours for a second when Maria disappeared into the living room where everyone else presumably was.
“How far do we wanna take these points?” she whispered.
“Well, what are you thinking?” you asked her.
“I say we wash the dishes,” she suggested, and you could just imagine the stupid, little grin on her face. “It’ll make them like me more, too.”
“You’re such a dork,” you said as the laugh spilled out your lips. You turned around to look at her, and there was a goofy grin on her face just like you expected. Her hands ventured to rest on your waist, placing a kiss on your forehead.
“Whatever. Come on, let’s just do it.”
“Okay, you hate doing the dishes, so I’m starting to wonder what this is really about.”
“I… may or may not have promised Maria I’d do the dishes, and she’ll kill me if I don’t.”
“This is why you watch the promises you make,” you said.
“Moving along,” she said in a rushed manner, “are you gonna help me or not?”
“Yeah, because I need you alive.”
You and Ellie slotted yourselves side by side as you were forced to wash the dishes on account of your girlfriend’s promises. She was stuck washing while you dried the dishes. At one point Joel had wandered through the kitchen, muttering a small greeting to you both before disappearing outside. He left the back door open somewhat, but you said nothing, figuring he would be coming back inside soon. Despite the small interruption, Ellie, of course, couldn’t help being a little shit and splashing you with water every once in a while.
“You got my shirt wet!” you’d scold her.
“I’m sorry, baby,” she’d say all fakely. She pulled you into a hug, but once you separated, she splashed you with water again. After washing the dishes and Ellie cleaned the kitchen up a bit, you could tell she was tired and ready to go home.
“You look tired,” you commented to her.
“Yeah, I’m… all tuckered out. You ready to go home?”
“If you are, yeah.”
“Okay, let me find my… Where are my keys?” she asked. She patted at her pockets, looking for any sign of them, only to come back empty. “I think I left them outside.”
“I can go get them for you,” you offered.
“Oh, good idea. You get my keys and I say bye to everyone for us. Perfect.”
“Alright, I’ll go find them for you. Be right back.” You gave Ellie a quick kiss on the cheek before wandering outside through the back door. As soon as you stepped outside, your eyes landed on Joel sitting on one of the chairs with a mug in his hand. You had forgotten he was even out here in the first place, and you hadn’t expected or planned for this interaction with him. You took a deep, calming breath. You needed to act normal.
“Hello, Joel,” you spoke up. He turned to look at you, then returned his gaze to his mug. It was dark outside, and the porch light may have been on, but it was a dim, yellow light. Not at all helpful as your eyes scoured the ground for Ellie’s keys.
“Hello.” It was quiet as you wandered to the table, looking across the top of it for Ellie’s keys. Still no sign of them. You pulled the chairs out, and you didn’t find them on the seats either. You sighed as you pulled out your phone and turned on your flashlight. “What are you lookin’ for?” Joel asked.
“Um, Ellie’s keys. She can’t find them.” You squatted down to the floor, shining the light around the wooden porch as you continued your search.
“Oh, you two gettin’ ready to leave?” he asked. You turned your phone to the right, and something silver glinted back at you. The keys. Thank God. You grabbed onto them and got back up from the ground.
“Yeah, she said she was tired and ready to go home.”
Joel let out a small chuckle. “That sounds like her,” he remarked.
“It very much is her,” you replied.
“I heard her splashin’ you with water in there.”
“She can’t help herself,” you said. “She apologized, then she did it again.”
“Does that… make you mad?” he asked.
“No, not at all.” You were wondering what he was getting at with the question.
“You and her seem to get along well,” he pointed out.
“I think so, too,” you said, hoping you were choosing your words well.
“I can tell she really loves you, you know,” Joel said. He took a sip out of his drink, then glanced at you. “And you seem really good for her, too.” The words hit you right in the heart. You knew from what Ellie told you that Joel wasn’t a man of many words, but these were just enough. They seemed to give you the kind of confirmation you were looking for, that maybe you could put down the anxiety plaguing your mind.
“I’m glad you think so,” you said. You glanced at the mug in his hands again. Was that steam? “Can I ask what you’re drinking?”
“It’s coffee.”
“This late?” you asked.
“The girls always tell me that,” he said, and you saw the smallest glimpse of a smile ghosting his lips. You figured by “the girls,” he must have been referring to Sarah and Ellie, and that small detail stuck out to you. Despite how scary he was, deep down inside he was just a dad. A girl-dad, at that.
“Ellie always tells me how much she hates coffee.”
“She never lets that go. I tell her she has underdeveloped tastebuds to make her mad.”
“That’s perfect for getting under her skin,” you replied.
“That’s why I say it. Anyways, she’s probably lookin’ for you by now, or me, maybe.”
“Probably,” you responded. “After I find her, she’ll probably come tell you bye before we leave. I’m gonna do that now.”
“You go do that,” he said. “And you better take good care of her, by the way.” You smiled a little bit. Had you heard him say that earlier, you probably would have shit your pants, but now you were comforted by the dad-threat.
“I will,” you said confidently.
“Or I will… do something. I don’t know, I’ll figure it out.”
“I take your word for it,” you replied. You turned around to walk back inside, keys in hand, a new kind of pep in your step as you looked for Ellie.
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AITA for headcanoning deadnames for trans characters for symbolism purposes?
im a trans guy (minor if it matters) who's been a fan of this one show for a little over a year. none of the characters are canonically trans, but there's a lot of trans allegories to be drawn from the material if you're me or my mutuals at least. the two main characters are both male and i ended up developing an au where they're both explicitly transmasc as a way for me to just explore trans themes in an alternate narrative. i haven't begun writing it yet but definitely plan to once i feel like it's solidly locked in my brain, and i've been sharing snippets & concepts every so often.
part of this was thinking of how they would've chosen their current names, and name symbolism got me considering what they would've changed them away from as well. one character i thought could've initially been named after his mother so i can draw contrasts between the two, and the name i decided on for her has a meaning that highlights her relationship with her father (and the character's relationship with his father in turn); it's also the name of the character's daughter figure in the show. a lot of the other main character's backstory kind of revolves around his dead sister, so i thought by making his deadname that sister's name then i could turn that into an allegory about transness and childhood and sibling death (and sororicide but we don't have time to unpack all that). i don't plan on ever explicitly referring to the characters by their deadname in the narration, except maybe in an ironic tone, but i think it would be cool to sort of sprinkle in references as subtext to just give the readers something more to chew on.
the thing is i've seen posts around talking about how nice it is to make trans characters/headcanons without once considering their deadnames, or how weird it is for people to consider them, and i definitely agree with the sentiment; one of the biggest goals for many trans people is for their past selves to be completely irrelevant, and i feel a bit guilty for perpetuating something so painful for the general community.
but i still don't think i'm an asshole in any way since these are literally just characters and obviously i'm not going around talking about real people's deadnames or anything. i just don't want to make people uncomfortable/trigger dysphoria if they find someone talking about deadnames for a trans charactsr they're attached to (i've definitely had that happen myself when reading trans fics, enough that i had to stop reading, and i don't know how you'd even tag for something like that). if the general gut reaction to this ask is negative then i'll probably consider just not talking about the deadnames unless someone asks about it, since they're not crucial to the plot at all, just some uhh not so fun tidbits.
anyway sorry this is so long for something i feel like might be a non-issue that i'm overthinking. if you somehow guessed the fandom have a chocolate 🫀 if you're one of my few mutuals who knows who i am from the details of the au then um pretend you didnt see this post.
What are these acronyms?
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onehelluvatime · 6 months
Text
So, let's talk Mammon. (I'm normal now)
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I'll be honest, when I saw him earlier, I just couldn't put mu finger on WHY he pissed me off so badly. By all means, this is a competent enough design ! It does its job exactly as its meant to. You read him as a jester, the money signs and diamonds indicate greed, and the colours themselves aren't half bad [Green/Yellow/Lime is a pretty nice combo]. You can see the design motif communicated pretty clearly and although I'm not the biggest fan of the mismatched sleeves [Far too much detail on a character already loaded with it] and the hat, the circus theming is there, and that's enough to be honest. For most helluva designs, that much thought isn't even put into them. Hell, I think even the eyes kind of fit ! They've grown on me as kind of this harlequin mask type of deal, and although I'm not the BIGGEST fan of him not having at least a nose, I think his facial shape is fine. The most egregious sin (pun intended) this design commits is just being a little boring and generic, but that still didn't make me feel too justified about my disliking of it...
And then it clicked.
It's the clothes, and it's because they make his whole body look disjointed.
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If you look closely, you'll see that he doesn't actually have... shoulders. The arms come from underneath the jester collar, which implies they're on the front, which makes him look like he doesn't actually have joints. A part of me wants to think that its because he's meant to resemble an inflated figure like a balloon of some kind, but that'd be giving way too much credit to Viv. The most likely case of what happened is just that they didn't plan how he was going to look underneath the egregious amounts of detailing on his costuming, and so his anatomy doesn't make any sense as a result. I'm expecting to see a lot of mistakes when it comes to the placement of his arms, but well, let's see how they handle that.
Other than that though ? Yeah. This design is just... a little boring. He's not really connected with the rest of the sins [and they don't connect with one another either, but yk], and he looks to be just another silly HardyHar villain who we're never going to see again. His silhouette isn't particularly strong enough to stand on its own because all his detailing is on the INSIDE of the design, and the details that you DO see are just generic and a little crowded. They do their job fine communicating what he's supposed to be overall, but they also clash SO much with the rest. Like, did you NEED the mismatched sleeves ? No.
Oh, and his values are bad, mostly because the background itself is already Green Green and then More Green, but also because I guess making it slightly darker would throw off the actual vibrancy of the scene. This episode is going to be real fun.
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Anyway here's him with a nose because it was just throwing me off SO bad.
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mayipleasehavebread · 29 days
Text
I Can See You - Chapter 2
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Kendall Roy Masterlist
Pairing: Secret Office Romance Kendall Roy x Fem Reader
Word Count: 6.4k
Chapter Summary: Disappointed that Kendall has ghosted you, you decide to throw yourself into your new job to help you forget about him. Your first day at Waystar makes that difficult.
Warnings: Age gap (reader in her 20s, Kendall is 39), swearing, mentions of sexual assault (waystar cruise scandal), Kendall being a little bit mean (we all knew it was going to happen eventually so best to ease in now!)
A/N: This chapter is a lot of set up with no smut (sorry to all my fellow horndogs lol) but we'll be getting back to it soon so this series is still 18+ MDNI. Sorry for the length of this, it really did not need to be so long but your girl likes to paint a picture!!! Get immersed in the story with me, lmao. Hope you guys enjoy :)
Chapter Theme Song: Seeds by Bennett Coast
*No use of Y/N
Your Saturday morning crawls by. 
You do any and everything to distract yourself; you clean your apartment, you run out for a latté and pastry, you reread your favourite book, but nothing can stop the aching disappointment you feel in your chest. The realisation that Kendall doesn���t have your number, and you don’t have his, is beyond upsetting for you. Yes he’s the only person you’ve connected with in the city, but you also really (really) like him, and now you aren’t sure if you’ll ever see him again. You don’t know his last name, what he does, where he works… there’s nothing for you to go off of. Finding one specific man in a city of millions when the only piece of information you have is his (very common) first name is more or less an impossible task. 
The only hope you have that you’ll see Kendall again is if he goes out of his way to get in contact with you. He knows where you live, so it’s entirely on him to make the next move. He could leave a post-it note downstairs, send a letter, hell, he could even show up at your front door. You really don’t care how he reaches out, you just hope he does. You’re not optimistic though - your dating history has left you with very little faith in men, and the possibility of him disappearing completely seems to be the most likely outcome. You sit in your anxiety all day until it’s time for your phone call with your best friend from back home. She does her best to alleviate your worries.
“Okay, so there’s nothing you can do,” she offers. You’ve recounted your entire night with Kendall to her, and after a lot of laughter over the gritty details, she’s gone into reassurance mode. “It’s out of your hands so just let whatever happens, happen. If he really likes you, he’ll make the effort to see you again. And if he doesn’t, then that’s not someone you want to waste your time with.” You sigh. Of course she’s right, but it doesn’t stop you from still wanting Kendall to want you too. 
She hears your sigh and changes her approach. “You’re in New York dude! The dating possibilities are endless. I can guarantee there’s a thousand other business bros out there who would jump at the opportunity to get in your pants.” 
You laugh before putting on your brattiest voice. “But I wanted this business bro,” you whine, and the two of you giggle together. 
“Whatever,” she chuckles. “I just don’t think you should set your sights on the first guy you meet anyway. Explore your options. And didn’t you say he was in his 40s or something?” 
You roll your eyes. “I don’t know exactly how old he is but yeah, somewhere around that probably.” 
“Okay, so like… what if he’s secretly married or something? What if he’s been divorced like 10 times and has dozens of children with multiple women? A crush is just a lack of information, don’t build him up in your head.” 
You have to admit that she has a point there. You don’t really know anything about Kendall when it comes to his personal life. He could be a sexist, racist, homophobic douchebag for all you know, and the idea of him saving you from having to learn that yourself is actually somewhat comforting. 
“Yeah, okay, fine,” you concur. “I won’t get my hopes up.” 
“Good,” she responds. “Just have a relaxing weekend before you start work. I have a feeling you’re about to be so busy that you won’t even have time to think about him anyway.” 
You sigh again. “Yeah, unfortunately I think that’s probably gonna be the case.” 
“Yayyy corporate grind!” she responds sarcastically, and you laugh again. “Anyway, I have to go now, but keep me updated. And good luck on Monday, you’re gonna kill it!” The two of you say your goodbyes and hang up, leaving you alone in your apartment again. 
You allow yourself Saturday night to wallow in self pity - you’re too exhausted from last night to leave your bed anyway. You light some candles and crawl under the covers, listening to your saddest playlist as you watch the shadows cast by the tea lights dance across the ceiling. You take a few deep breaths and try to bring yourself to accept that your night with Kendall, as memorable as it was for you, will not be developing into anything more. You will likely never see him again, but there will probably be other fun nights with other fun men. It’s a shame that you’re not very good at convincing yourself.
Sunday comes and you force yourself to get out and enjoy the day. You take a long walk through Central Park, listening to music, taking photos, and sipping on the warm drink you picked up on your way over. You hate yourself for being upset when you return home in the afternoon to find no post-it note, letter, or Kendall waiting there for you. ‘Stop being so fucking delusional,’ you think to yourself. You’re going to be working with some of the harshest, no-nonsense people in the city starting tomorrow, you need to grow up and leave the teenage fantasies behind. You make a resolution to throw yourself into your work from day one. Time to get serious.
You wake up early Monday morning, wanting to look your best for the day, but also unable to sleep in when you’re feeling this anxious. You get ready and make your way to work completely on autopilot; you’re not really sure how you got there, but somehow you find yourself in the building lobby of the Waystar office at 8:30am. 
You check in with the security guard and then stand around awkwardly as he calls upstairs to have someone come greet you. A few minutes later, you hear your name being called and turn to see Jess Jordan, the woman you had interviewed for the job with, approaching you from the other end of the lobby. 
“Welcome to Waystar,” she smiles as she shakes your hand. “We’re really excited to bring you on board.” 
“Excited to start,” you smile back. You had only spoken to Jess on the phone and are surprised to see how young she is - close to your age and if not, only a bit older. 
“Let’s get you upstairs then,” she says as she leads you over to the elevators. “I have to say,” she adds, turning to you after pressing the call button, “I’ve been so eager to actually meet you ever since I read your letter of recommendation.” 
You look at her, confusion clear on your face. As far as you know, your letter of recommendation was nothing special. It written by your college economics professor, who had suggested you apply for the role when he heard about the opening through business connections. You weren’t sure you were qualified, but he convinced you to go for it after informing you that working at Waystar would open you up to endless job opportunities for the rest of your career. So, you applied, and he had sent your letter of recommendation over separately. He wasn’t exactly the warmest man though, so you really doubted that he would gush about you in his letter or anything.
She laughs lightly. “Sorry, that must sound weird,” she says, before explaining that she graduated from the same college as you and also had the same economics professor. “I did everything I could to get on that man’s good side, but nothing worked. It seemed like he hated everyone. When I read your recommendation letter and saw it had been written by him… I knew we had to hire you. It takes a special kind of person to get a man that bitter and miserable to say such good things about them.” 
You shake your head in disbelief. “Oh… I mean, I never read the letter so I didn’t know what he said but… wow yeah, I wasn’t even sure if he actually liked me. I just thought he’d say I was acceptably competent or something.” 
Jess smiles. “Well he seems to think you’re much more than competent. He said we’d be stupid not to hire you.” The elevator door opens and the two of you step inside. Jess pushes the button for the 67th floor. 
“So I know the job description was vague,” she says at the elevator begins its ascent, “but I appreciate you signing the NDA before hearing the concrete details of the role.”
You nod. You figured all corporate jobs were as nondescript as the one you were offered, but now you guessed that this one might come with a little more classified information than most. 
“We’ll start the basic training today, but first I need to warn you… You’ve come at a, um, an interesting time.” She pauses, watching the floor levels increase rapidly as the elevator swiftly rises. “There’s been a bit of… bad press this past weekend, and managing it is going to be our main focus for the foreseeable future.” You can tell that Jess is choosing her words very carefully. Whether that’s to protect you or the company, you aren’t sure. 
The elevator doors open and you enter an open and light but depressingly grey office space. The place is filled with glass and large windows, but it feels like the colour scheme was chosen to remind you that this is a place of work. The extraordinary view of Manhattan is not to be enjoyed. 
Jess walks you past reception to a desk situated outside a large, glass walled office, and informs you that this will be your workspace. You briefly acknowledge it before returning to the previous subject. 
“Is it alright if I ask what kind of bad press?” you inquire hesitantly. You’re not sure if you’re privy to that kind of information on your first day, but if it’s already in the news and you’re going to be directly working with people handling the issue, you’ll find out all the dirty details eventually; may as well know now. 
She sighs. “Yeah, just…” she looks around to check that no one is listening, and then pulls up a chair to sit down at your desk with you. “I don’t want this to completely turn you off the job before you’ve even started,” she says in a low voice. “It’s a good place to work, there’s just been some… depraved individuals who have sat in high positions.” 
“Okay,” you say as nonchalantly as you can manage. You don’t like where this is headed.
She continues. “New York Magazine published an article this weekend, alleging that some Waystar executives have committed some… um… pretty horrendous acts, and others worked to cover them up.”
Fuck, you really don’t like where this is going. “And those incidents were…?” you ask, trying to approach the topic as tactfully as Jess is presenting it.
Jess looks at you and hesitates before sighing. “Um… theft… sexual assault… some deaths…”
You stare at her blankly. What kind of fucking company are you working for? Why would your professor recommend you for this?!
She sees the look on your face and you know she can tell exactly what you’re thinking. “I know I know, it’s… really awful stuff. This was back in the 90s though, and it was only a few individuals in one section of the company who fostered that kind of environment. I promise, you’re not going to experience or witness any of that here.” 
You nod. You believe her, but learning that the company you work for turns a blind eye to the vile acts of its executives isn’t exactly what you were hoping to hear on your first day. 
“We haven’t lost you already, have we?” Jess looks at you questionably. 
You shake your head no, reminding yourself of the salary you desperately need, as well as what your professor said about this job having to power to present you with endless opportunities. “Nope, I’m still here,” you assure her. 
Jess breathes a sigh of relief. “Okay, great. Let’s get started with training then. First off, do you know anything about the Roys?”
“Oh — um,” you stutter. Fuck, you didn’t think there’d be a test on the first day. You vaguely remember your professor mentioning the Roy name, but all that’s coming to mind right now is that one of them started and still runs the company. “I mean, uh, not real—“
“Don’t worry,” Jess cuts you off. “I wasn’t expecting you to. Honestly, I’d probably think it was a little weird if you did know a lot about them.” She smiles at you and you laugh lightly in response. You’re starting to really like her. 
“Just so you have the basics,” she continues, “the founder and CEO of the company is Logan Roy. He has 3 kids— well technically 4, but really it’s 3— who all work at Waystar, though their roles tend to change frequently, so make sure you’re staying updated on who is doing what.” 
You nod in acknowledgment, burning into your brain the image of some billionaire nepo-baby yelling at you because you forgot which job they were working that week. You definitely don’t want to go through that so ‘stay updated on the Roy kids’ roles’ is added to your mental checklist.  
“Some of the top level executives you’ll come across pretty often are Gerri Kellman, she’s the general counsel for Waystar, Frank Vernon, who’s the chairman of the board, and Karl Muller, the CFO. You’ll meet Karolina and Hugo this week too, they’re in charge of PR and Communications so… we’re gonna be seeing them a lot.” You do your best to commit each name and title to memory. 
“Those are the basics of who you need to be scared of,” she jokes, and you smile in return. It’s a relief to know that you’ll be working for someone who can acknowledge how intimidating this environment is. “So let’s talk about your actual role now. As you know, your official title is administrative assistant, so your core responsibilities are going to be assisting me in my more basic tasks so I can focus on the more complicated stuff with our boss.” 
You look at her questioningly. You were under the impression that Jess was some type of executive and you would be her assistant. “Oh… so wait, who’s our boss?”
She sees your surprise and a look of realisation flashes across her face. “Oh, I’m sorry, I guess I never explained what my role was. I’m the executive assistant for one of the Roys. He’s the Waystar COO, so while you report to me, I also report to him, so you’ll technically be working for him as well.” 
You nod but don’t say anything. After your experience with the handsy creep at the dive bar on Friday night, you really don’t feel great about working closely with an upper level executive at a company where sexual assault runs rampant. The fact that he’s the CEO’s son makes you even more nervous that any misdeeds of his will be easily forgiven. 
Jess must sense your hesitation, because she reassures you immediately. 
“Oh he’s not like that, I promise, and those issues were pretty much contained to the Waystar cruise line. Kendall can be demanding and… erratic at times, but he’s generally a good guy, you don’t have to worry about him doing anything like that.”
Your ears perk up at the name. Kendall? That’s a weird coinciden—
“Yeah, fine Frank, if we’re really fucking backed into a corner I can make it work, but I don’t see why we’re adding me to the fuckfest when this might be the one thing Rome could actually handle alone.” 
Your heart stops cold. His deep voice cuts through the stagnant office air like a knife, and for a moment, you wonder if you’re imagining it. There’s no fucking way this is actually happening, right? This isn’t real, this can’t be fucking real. 
But you aren’t imagining it, and it is real. Kendall turns the corner a moment later, flanked by two older executives, and upon seeing him, your heart jumpstarts back to life. You feel it beating so fast that you wouldn’t be surprised if it burst out of your chest and flopped out onto the office’s grey carpeted floors. 
“Oh here he is now.” Jess stands up from the desk and you do the same, watching him as if in slow motion. He hasn’t seen you yet and you’re dreading the moment he does. God, what you wouldn’t give to be able to crawl inside of your own skin and hide right now. 
“Morning Kendall,” Jess greets him as he approaches, and he responds with a simple “Hey Jess,” before his eyes fall to you. 
It’s quick; if you weren’t looking for it you probably wouldn’t have caught it, but for a millisecond, a look of pure horror crosses Kendall’s face. The speed in which he neutralises his expression is extremely impressive. 
You’re vaguely aware that Jess is introducing you to Kendall and the other two executives, but you can’t bring your eyes to leave his face, and his don’t leave yours. He says something along the lines of “Nice to meet you, we’re excited to have you join the team,” as he shakes your hand, but it feels like he must be speaking in another language, the sentence sounds so foreign and unnatural to you. You wonder if he can hear you repeating the word “fuck” over and over in your head as you stare at him and absorb the situation. Kendall is here. He’s your boss. He’s Kendall Roy of Waystar Royco. The entire thing feels ridiculously surreal. You feel nauseous. 
Your attention is brought back to the group when the older woman who had been walking with Kendall offers her hand for you to shake. You hear her say the words “legal jargon,” and you come to the conclusion that this must be Gerri. The balding man on the other side of Kendall extends his hand to you next and gives you a warm smile while repeating his name (“So nice to meet you, I’m Frank”). He must think you look very overwhelmed, considering how kind he’s being to you, and he’s right, you are overwhelmed, just probably not for the reason he assumes. Gerri and Frank end the conversation by welcoming you to Waystar. Kendall just nods in agreement. 
Jess turns back to you as the group walks away, Kendall giving you one last intense look before he turns another corner with Gerri and Frank. 
“Okay, why don’t we get started with the scheduling system?” she says as she sits back down, and you sit down beside her. Jess logs into your computer for you while you silently plead with your heart, begging it to stop beating at the uncomfortably rapid pace it’s adopted. 
‘Oh my god, what do I do?’ you think. ‘Should I just get up and leave? I can’t work here!’ You feel yourself spiralling, the panic of the moment really beginning to set in. You force yourself to take a few deep breaths before you start having an anxiety attack in the middle of the Waystar offices and try to focus on the scheduling system Jess is pulling up on your computer. The way she has the calendar organised, for some reason, helps you calm down slightly. The neat rows and coordinated colours brings you some sense of balance, and you feel your heartbeat finally start to slow down. 
You soon begin to actually absorb her teachings as well and realise how ridiculously simple your tasks are. It’s pretty much just organising Kendall’s calendar and scheduling his appointments and meetings. Jess will be the one assisting him with all the more complicated tasks, you just need to lay the groundwork so he has a general layout for each week. Are you actually going to be making almost $100k a year to do THIS? Suddenly working with the guy who ghosted you seems more like a complication as opposed to an outright dealbreaker. 
This feeling lasts less than an hour. As Jess is going over how to use the office phone line with you, Kendall suddenly reappears in front of your desk. You and Jess both look up, and he wastes no time introducing a way to get you alone.
“Jess, have you shown her the photocopy room yet?” 
Jess shakes her head no. “We’re just going over the extension codes now, and then I was going to—”
Kendall cuts her off. “I’m heading down there so I can show her.” He begins to walk away and Jess nods at you, indicating that you should follow him. Your heart rate immediately picks up again. Time to get this over with. 
Kendall walks through the busy office to the elevator, and you rush to catch up. It opens just as you arrive at his side and the two of you enter. No one else takes the long ride down to the basement with you, but you don’t move or speak or look at each other the entire time. It’s the most painfully silent and uncomfortable minute of your entire life, but eventually the doors open and Kendall is striding down a concrete hallway to an inconspicuous door. He opens it and lets you enter first before shutting it quickly behind him. 
“Jesus Christ…” he mutters as he crosses his arms and looks over to you. You’re standing in the centre of the room, arms crossed as well. It’s taking all the self control you have to not start pacing back and forth between the copiers to keep the anxiety building in your throat at bay. You stare at each other, neither of you speaking until you can’t play it cool anymore. You say what you’ve been wanting to say to him since Saturday. It holds much more weight now though. 
“What the fuck, Kendall.” 
You know it’s ridiculously unprofessional that those are your first words to your new boss, but as far as you know, there’s no workplace rulebook that applies here. You’d be shocked if HR had established guidelines on what to do if a boss and subordinate have a one night stand only days before beginning to work together. 
“I, uh…” Kendall hesitates as he bows his head, his shoulders tensing up. “Yeah, I’m sorry, I should’ve asked for your number before I left.” 
You can’t help from emitting a sharp laugh. “What?!” you ask, absolutely bewildered that this is what he’s choosing to start the conversation with. Is he joking? “Do you actually think that’s anywhere close to being the most important thing we need to discuss right now?”
He looks down again and shakes his head. “No, you’re right,” he sighs, exasperated. You watch him start to pace until he suddenly crosses his arms tighter across his chest and lifts his head, beginning to stammer. “I uh - I just - I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to say! I wasn’t expecting to see you again, and definitely not in this fucking situation.” His tone is harsh now, and the shock of it has you taking a step back. This is not the funny, charismatic guy you met on Friday night. 
He turns away from you as his hand reaches to rub the back of his neck. When he turns back to face you, the stress of the situation is evident in his expression. He takes a deep breath. “Sorry, fuck, I just… this isn’t happening at a great time.” 
You don’t say anything. No words are coming to mind, but you’re also not sure you really need to speak. You’re not the one who withheld a huge portion of your identity from him. 
“Look,” he sighs, and he leans his shoulder against the wall. “It’s… it’s rare that I get to detach myself from the Roy name. I saw an opportunity to do that with you, and I took it. I… I wasn’t thinking about what would happen after.” 
You nod, partly in response to his explanation, but mostly because he just confirmed what you had been worried about all weekend. He really did just see you as a one time thing. If you hadn’t been standing there as his new employee when he came to work this morning, you would’ve never seen each other again, and that would’ve been fine with him. Ouch. 
“Cool,” you mumble, eyes dropping to the floor as you nod again. “Cool, so hanging out with me was just a like… little social experiment for you, yeah? See what it’s like to be a commoner for a bit?” You hate how bitter you sound, but you’re hurt and you feel stupid. You saw your time together as a moment of real connection, but he saw it is a fun opportunity to play make believe. You were just a toy in his little game of normality, and he was content to discard you once playtime was over. 
“No, no,” he uses his shoulder to push him off the wall. “I just uh, I just wanted to have a normal fucking conversation for once. I didn’t plan for our night to go…” he trails off, taking a deep breath before continuing. “For it to go where it did. I, I wasn’t expecting to like you as much as I d-“ 
“Don’t,” you interrupt. You don’t want to hear it, it’s just another thing that will make this entire situation messier and more confusing than it already is. “Let’s not go there, there’s no point.” 
He looks at you for a moment, his mouth slightly open, still wrapped around the sentence you stopped him from finishing. He closes it after a second but continues to look at you, his eyes sad. 
“I really am sorry,” he adds. “You have to understand, there were no good options for me after I left yours on Saturday.” His hand reaches to rub the back of his neck again. “I was uh, I was pretty sure you would hate me no matter what… whether I ghosted you or told you who I was.”
You scoff a little. He’s right in some sense, you would’ve been upset either way. “Yeah, that’s probably true. But maybe we could’ve avoided this morning’s fun little run in if you had been honest with me from the get go.” 
He scoffs too. “Yeah… fuckin’ hindsight I guess…”
You both stand there silently for a moment, arms crossed, eyes on the floor. At least you now have some sense of closure regarding his disappearance, but you still have to address the bigger issue. 
“So… what now?” 
Kendall shakes his head and stuffs his hands in his trouser pockets as he thinks. “Uh… I guess we uh, come up with something for you to tell Jess regarding why you can’t fulfil the duties of the role.” 
“Wait, what?” you ask. You were expecting him to say something along the lines of “let’s forget it happened, fresh start, etc,” not nonchalantly instruct you to quit on your first day. 
“Well this already isn’t a professional relationship,” he says coolly, gesturing between the two of you. “I can’t have more pers— I can’t have any personal stress here, and you’re a uh… distraction.” He averts his eyes from you as he gives an apathetic shrug. 
A mix of anger and panic begins to build in your chest; your entire world has fallen apart around you in a matter of minutes. Your one night stand ghosts you, reappears as your new billionaire boss, and now tells you that the job you worked your ass off in college to get, the job you literally uprooted your life for, is no longer yours. Your fight or flight instincts kick in, and you’re surprised to learn that your body is choosing to fight. 
“No.”
He looks up at you, an eyebrow raised as he crosses his arms again. “What?”
“I said no, Kendall. I moved to the city for this job. I worked fucking hard to earn this job. And I’m not like you, I have bills to pay and I can’t afford to spend weeks finding a new job.” Kendall looks away from you as you say this last comment. You feel bad pulling the ‘you have money and clearly forget that others don’t’ card, but it’s true. The rent for your little studio is so ridiculously high that you’ll be homeless by the end of the month if you don’t have a steady income. 
“If you want me gone, you’ll have to fire me,” you continue, “and I know you definitely don’t want to do that, because then Waystar will need to pay me a fuck load of hush money to ensure that I don’t shout from the rooftops that the boss’ son fucks and then fires his assistants.” Kendall’s eyes flash back to you and his eyebrows knit together. “That would look really good coming out right after a massive scandal, wouldn’t it?” 
Internally, you can’t believe that these words are coming outof your own mouth. Are you blackmailing him? No, you don’t think so… you’re pretty sure that you’re just defending your right to keep the job you earned. But whether you’re justified in threatening him or not, you’re proud of yourself for standing your ground. Maybe it’s just easier to not be a pushover when your livelihood actually depends on it. But either way, considering what you told Kendall about being a people pleaser a few days ago, you’re sure that he wasn’t expecting this kind of pushback. 
Kendall stares you down. You feel like his eyes are boring holes into yours, his gaze is that intense. It takes everything you have to stop yourself from giving in and breaking eye contact. You don’t though, you look into his brown eyes and search for the connection you felt to them on Friday. For a moment, you think you see it; a hint of something resembling warmth flashes across his gaze. Just as suddenly as you saw that flash of emotion, he drops his eyes from yours. 
“Fucking hell,” he mumbles. He bows his head again, shaking it slightly in disbelief. “You really want to work for someone you’ve slept with? You’re 100% okay with that?” He looks at you quizzically. 
“I’m not a child, I’m capable of separating personal emotions from work.” 
You’re not actually sure if this is true - you’ve never had such a complicated relationship with someone you’ve worked with before, but at this point, you’ll say anything to keep your job. “I can be professional if you can.” You eye him intently.
Kendall looks taken aback that you’re turning this around on him now. He casually shrugs but begins to stammer again. “Uh, yeah, I uh, it’s fine with me if it is with you. Just… you know, let’s keep it professional.” 
You nod. He gives you another intense look, as if he’s offering you one last chance to back out, before he sighs. “Okay well, uh, welcome to Waystar I guess.” He clears his throat before extending his hand to you. 
You scoff slightly; the moment is such a weird redo of you two meeting each other on Friday night and again this morning, but you quickly push your deja vu to the side and accept the gesture. 
“Thank you,” you say civilly, returning his firm handshake. You do your best to not focus on the feeling of his hand wrapped around yours again, but you aren’t successful. 
Kendall drops your hand and stuffs his own back in his trouser pockets, stammering again awkwardly. “I uh, we should uh, get you back up to Jess,” he suggests. “There’s a, yeah, there’s a lot you need to learn.”
You stand up straight. “Yes sir, Mr Roy,” you say, giving him a salute as you head toward the copier room door. 
You immediately kick yourself internally for being so weirdly cringe. What the fuck was that? You tend to act awkwardly when you’re feeling awkward, and as this is one of the most awkward situations you’ve ever been in, you seem to have set a new record for embarrassing yourself. 
It isn’t all bad though. It seems that your bizarre behaviour has helped break the tension, because Kendall smirks and places his hand on the door to stop you from leaving. “Jesus Christ” he chuckles. “Don’t ever do that again, we don’t let fucking losers work here.” 
Relief washes through you. He’s reappeared. The man you had so much fun with on Friday night is, to some degree, back. You immediately start to feel more optimistic about having a career at Waystar - this is a version of Kendall that you think you’d enjoy working for. 
“Are you sure? Your taste in music tells me otherwise,” you say sincerely, and you give his shoulder a condescending pat. 
Kendall breaks into a full smile, clearly loving the banter, before he catches himself. You both know you can’t continue acting like this once you go back upstairs. He clears his throat. “Let’s keep the chumminess to a minimum, yeah? I’m still your fucking boss,” he says sternly, but you can see the warmth in his eyes and know that the warning isn’t 100% serious. 
You nod silently and smile, showing him exactly how agreeable you can be, before gesturing toward the door he still has his hand on to stop you from opening it. “Are we going?” you ask. Any longer here and it’ll be obvious that Kendall was not just showing you the copier room. 
“Oh, uh, yeah, let’s go,” he responds, quickly removing his hand from the door before opening it for you. The elevator ride back up to the 67th floor is silent again, but not nearly as uncomfortable. ‘Okay,’ you think. ‘This is manageable. It’ll be weird for a little, but eventually, how we met is just going to be a funny memory. You can do this.’ You actually believe your internal pep talk this time.
————————————
Kendall tries to get back into the regular swing of his work day, but everything feels disjointed. He and his siblings released a statement about the cruises scandal this past weekend, and it seems to be keeping things somewhat under control, but the shareholders are now getting spooked by the bad press. Waystar is in damage control mode and he’s been instructed to head to England so he can convince his mother to keep her company share, which might help prevent a company takeover. He really doesn’t want to go back to England; the thought of returning to the scene of the (literal) crime has caused a knot to form in the pit of his stomach, and you sitting at your new desk right outside his office isn’t helping him feel any steadier. 
Eventually the sun starts to set, and the office starts to empty. Kendall looks up from his computer at some point and sees that you’re no longer sitting across from Jess. He calls her into his office and once she’s shut the door behind her, he doesn’t hesitate to ask if you’ve left for the day. Jess checks her watch.
“Yeah, I mean it was well after 5 when she left. She did show up early and we’ve done a lot today, so I sent her home…” she looks at him quizzically. "Is that… okay?” 
He scrambles to hide his disappointment. He was hoping to get another moment alone with you before he leaves for England tomorrow. He’s not sure why, it’s not like you two have anything else you need to discuss, but he’s disappointed that it’s not even an option anymore. “Yeah yeah, that’s fine. So, uh… how’s she doing so far?” He presents the question as a boss wanting to know if his new employee is worthy of the job, rather than as someone who knows how nervous you were for today and is curious to see how you held up. 
“Oh fantastic,” Jess nods, answering without hesitation. “She’s a really fast learner, we’re like, way ahead of schedule.” 
“Oh, good,” Kendall says nonchalantly. He’s surprised. Pleasantly surprised, but surprised nonetheless. “Uh… yeah, good. So you think she’ll be ready to fully take over your duties by the time I’m back on Friday?” 
“Yeah, I mean she might even be ready by tomorrow. We don’t have much left to cover, but I’ll shadow her until you’re back.” 
He nods. A feeling resembling pride washes over him as he listens to Jess recount your competency. ‘Fucking stop it,’ he thinks to himself, and he tries to brush the feeling away. It's not like he’s ever felt ‘proud’ of Jess for just doing her job. “Okay, thanks. I’ll uh, I’ll keep you updated while I’m over there,” he says, dismissing her.
She nods and starts to head for his office door before he stops her. “Oh, hang on… just while I’m remembering, could you uh, forward her contact information to me?” This isn’t an abnormal request — executives are usually contacting their assistants when they’re out of the office — but he still feels awkward asking. 
Jess doesn’t seem to notice though, she just says ‘okay’ and heads back to her desk. A minute later, his phone buzzes beside him as Jess’ message containing your number is delivered to him. He ignores the text until Jess has left for the day, and then he picks up the phone.
He quickly crafts and sends a text to you, trying not to overthink it. Standard employee-employer messages shouldn’t be anxiety inducing, and he pretends that sending this text to you isn’t. He sets his phone down and turns his attention back to his computer.
————————————
Back at your apartment, you’re in your tiny kitchen making your favourite comfort meal - you really need something soothing after the rollercoaster of emotions you experienced today. Your phone lays face down on the kitchen counter beside you. You hear it buzz gently under the sound of your music playing in the background, and you turn it over, glancing at it while you stir your food on the stove. It’s from an unknown number, but your heart flutters as you read it.
“Hey, it’s Kendall. Good job today. Really looking forward to working with you.” 
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imaginespazzi · 15 days
Text
Part 3: Shades of Grey
Tumblr media
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2
That's the thing about illicit affairs (they lie and they lie and they lie)
(In which a masochistic writer makes things difficult for herself and makes things even messier than they were before)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst, Pining, a little bit of Hurt/Comfort and Fluff as always
Words: 7.2K (nice and short as always)
TW: Explicit Sexual Content (MINORS DNI), Swearing, Cheating
A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job of sticking to my deadlines, who woulda thunk it? Fun fact, I'm at ~ 50 google-doc pages with this fic and despite my constant "trying to write less" rants, I'm actually lowkey proud of that. Anyways, there's a pretty clear hint (I am not a subtle person) as to why what happens at the end happens and if you pick up on it, I promise it'll save you from losing your minds till I write part 4. Also a couple of logistical details about the Cayman Islands are probably off but it's what worked so it's what I did, just pretend lol. Per usual, I did edit, there's probably still typos any way, feel free to point them out. And as always, let me know what you liked, what you didn't and what you'd like to see in the future. Happy reading and have a wonderful rest of your week lovelies!
August 2021
The fight was inevitable but neither of them can tell you what really lit the flame. One second they had been fine (well as fine as two girls who knew tonight was their last night in a while could be), the next they were hurling bullets at each other. There’s a subconscious part of Azzi’s brain that tells her to grab Paige and duck for cover, to preserve whatever little bit of friendship they can. But her whole body vibrates with anger as Paige’s words crash around her like a tsunami, drowning out the good angel on her shoulder that’s pleading with her to stop. 
“It’s a good thing really. You and your non-existent nerves would have never survived playing for UConn,” Paige sneers, and that mean smirk on her face just doesn’t quite fit right, “I don’t know what I was thinking with that honestly. You’re not built like that.”
Azzi flinches, eyes blazing, “some of us want to be more than just another good UConn player.”
“That’s what all the people not good enough to play for UConn say,” Paige retorts bitterly and Azzi doesn’t think she knows this girl standing in front of her, one whose words are aimed to make her cry instead of laugh. 
“Not good enough and yet you still wanted me on your team.”
“Nah you know what, my bad, I didn’t realise you’d fucking stab me in the back like that, ” Paige hisses, “you’re a fake as fuck friend and you’d probably make a shit teammate.”
Azzi’s never had a heart attack. She doesn’t even fully think she knows what a heart attack really is. But she’s certain this pain in her chest can’t possibly be anything less than one. It starts at her heart and then spreads to her lungs and then floods through her body, until she can’t move, she can’t breathe. 
“You don’t mean that,” she whispers. 
Paige hesitates, as if suddenly aware of the fragility of the moment, her voice considerably softer when she speaks but she doesn’t take it back, “ real friends choose each other.”
“Oh my god,” Azzi laughs, it’s the worst thing she could do in the moment and Paige’s eyes flash with anger, “you’re so fucking full of yourself.”
“Watch your fucking mouth-”
“Don’t you even dare. You say all that shit to me and now you can’t hear some of it back? Contrary to what you might think Paige, my whole life doesn’t revolve around you. My decision for where to spend the next four fucking years, does not revolve around you,” Azzi’s voice rises with each word. 
Fighting is cathartic in a way. They’ve spent almost a year delicately tip-toeing around the subject, growing further and further apart and yet still holding on for dear life. And Azzi doesn’t want to let go, but everything feels burning hot, and her hands are starting to blister. 
“Oh you’ve made that very clear,” Paige bites back, “you’ve made it very clear just how little I mean to you.”
“Because I chose a different school? That’s all it took Paige, seriously? That’s all it took for you to call our friendship fake?”
“No what it took Azzi was you being a fucking liar.”
“I didn’t lie about anything.”
Paige scoffs, her voice taking on a pitchy mocking tone, “ ‘I’d love to play with you Paige’, ‘being on the same team would be nice P’,  all of that fucking bullshit when you didn’t mean any of it.”
“Oh we’re playing that game,” Azzi seethes, “how about ‘Az I’d support you no matter what’ huh? Where did all of that go?”
“Maybe if you didn’t make stupid decisions then.”
“No, actually choosing not to play with you might have been my smartest decision yet,” as soon as the words are out, there’s a part of Azzi that wishes she could wrench them back in. 
“Right,” Paige’s voice is eerily quiet now, “well I hope that works out well for you then. Go to UCLA Azzi, have a great fucking life and stay the fuck away from mine.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Azzi takes a cautious step towards the blonde and almost immediately, Paige steps backwards, her expression suddenly blank. The change to indifference is somehow worse than the previous malice, “Paige-”
“Fuck this, I’m going home,” Paige says resolutely, her fingers fidgeting with themselves as she reaches for her phone and wallet. 
“We need to talk this out, we need to try and fix this,” Azzi all but pleads, trying to position herself in front of the persistent older girl who’s trying to make her way to the door. 
“I don’t know if I want to fucking fix this,” Paige yells, shaking away Azzi’s hand on her shoulder, “I don’t know if it’s worth it,” her voice breaks as she says the next words, “I don’t even think  I wanna be friends.”
When Azzi’s 14, Paige Bueckers dribbles through a USA basketball camp court straight into her life and teaches her all about how one person can come into your life and carve out a permanent shelf. When Azzi’s 16, Paige’s casual smiles and not-so-insignificant touches teach her all about the complicated space in-between just friends and something more. When Azzi’s 18, Paige says those words, ones that sound a lot like giving up, and teaches Azzi that sometimes in life, even the people you thought would never make you feel this way, are the ones who'll break you the most. And that’s the day Azzi makes a promise to herself that she’ll never give someone that part of herself again, unaware that when she’s 20, Paige will teach her that some promises are meant to be broken. 
***
July 2023
Azzi doesn’t know what god she pissed off to get herself into this position, stuck in a booth with Zoe on one side and Paige on the other. Her girlfriend’s left hand is placed firmly on her thigh and Azzi has to fight the vehement urge to shake it away because Zoe’s normally soft, sweet touch feels itchy and heavy. But the way Paige’s biceps are pressed against hers might be even worse. Every time the blonde moves a little, the sliding of her smooth skin against Azzi’s arms, sends a jolt of electricity through her veins. And Azzi doesn’t know when she became that girl, the girl who already has someone to hold her but is desperately craving somebody else’s touch. 
When people’s girlfriends surprise them with an unexpected visit, the appropriate reaction is to be overwhelmed with happiness. Except since she’d met her, Azzi’s summers have always belonged to Paige. With them having lived in separate states most of their lives, it was the one time they got to be with each other for an extended period of time. It was an unspoken rule really, one that they had subconsciously still followed the year before when Azzi had shown up at Paige’s door, even if they’d only gotten the last couple of weeks of the season; summer was theirs. So, when Zoe had shown up that afternoon with a bright smile and shining eyes, all Azzi had been able to register was a sense of loss as Paige pulled her hand out of Azzi’s. 
Introductions had been somewhat awkward. Her parents knew of Zoe, but hadn’t met her yet. They were nice of course, her dad pulling the shorter girl into one of his bear hugs and her mom giving her a warm smile. Jon and José were more awkward, nodding their greetings but making no move to actually welcome her. Paige had managed to muster up a smile, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and shake the other girl’s outstretched hand. And then there was Drew, whose normally goofy smile seemed to have disappeared. 
“Who are you?” the young boy had asked quizzically, his eyebrows crinkling together. 
“Oh umm, I’m uh- Azzi’s girlfriend,” Zoe had replied, the last word causing Paige to involuntarily flinch. 
Drew had looked over to Azzi then, his eyes wide and accusing, “you can’t be Azzi’s girlfriend.”
“Is that so?” Zoe hummed, clearly not taking him seriously. 
“It is,” Drew had said petulantly, ignoring Paige’s warning squeeze, “she’s Paige’s.”
The silence after had been deafening, as Azzi tried to stop herself from choking on air. Eventually Paige had regained her senses first, apologising for her younger brother’s lack of filter (“he says stupid things all the time”) and then Azzi’s dad had swooped in before things could possibly get any more awkward, proposing that they all go out to dinner. And that’s how Azzi has ended up here, shuffled in a booth, opposite her parents, with Paige on one side and Zoe on the other. Life really and truly isn’t on her side these days. 
“So girls, what are y’all pizza orders?” Tim asks jovially. Azzi’s brothers and Drew, desperate to go enjoy the sun (and avoid Zoe), had already told them their orders before zooming to the park right outside the restaurant. 
“Oh uh- Az you wanna share a Margherita pizza?”
“Azzi and I’ll just have our usual.”
It’s as if the world wants Azzi to suffer as both Zoe and Paige immediately look at her expectantly. The girl in question keeps her eyes focused on the menu in front of her, unsure how to best handle this predicament by doing anything other than maybe just running out of the restaurant. 
“What’s your usual?” Zoe asks, her voice all curiosity and no ill-intent. 
“Grilled chicken and bacon with spinach and onions.”
“But Azzi doesn’t like onions, she says they make-”
“They make her breath smell I know,” there’s a hard edge to Paige’s voice, “but she-”
“She can’t pick them off. She can’t pick anything off of her pizza because it takes-”
“It takes the cheese off, I know that too. That’s not what I was going to say. She doesn’t eat them because she thinks they make her breath smell but she does like them. It’s just-,” Paige’s eyes flare with mischief, “she only eats them around people who are close to her. Guess you’re not quite there yet.”
Since Azzi had mustered up the courage to finally tell Paige about Zoe, right before summer break started, Paige had been nothing but respectful, supportive even. Until tonight apparently and Azzi doesn’t even know to react to the fact that her best friend has started a pissing contest over fucking onions. 
“Right,” Zoe bites her lips, her ever-present smile slipping slightly as she slowly pries the menu out of Azzi’s hands and looks at her with hopefully eyes, “but we’ll get the Margherita tonight babe?”
“I-” and Azzi really should say yes, side with Zoe like the good girlfriend she is, except, well, all she can think about is that Paige hasn’t smiled since the California girl had arrived in D.C., “I think um- I’ll stick to my usual Zo, I’m sorry.”
She’s a terrible girlfriend, because immediately Zoe’s smile fades, and Azzi barely notices it, too busy watching Paige’s grin light up her face. Her baby blue eyes sparkle as if she’s won some important battle and it’s not even dark yet, but Azzi swears it feels like the stars have come out. 
“Okay,” Tim says slowly, looking between the three younger girls, as he waives over the waitress, “if that’s decided then.”
The issue with Paige being pretty, is that nobody’s really immune to it, including the cheerful waitress that practically skips over to serve them. Her eyes glaze over a little bit as they roam across the blonde’s face and then to her arms before drifting down to her torso. Paige’s tank top doesn’t leave much to the imagination, exposing both her muscled biceps and toned torso and Azzi doesn’t need an x-ray to know the widely appropriate thoughts going through the waitress’s head. The feral roar of mine takes birth in her stomach and the quieting whisper of she’s not does little to subdue it. 
“I’m Libby,” the waitress says, tongue darting across her lips, eyes solely focused on Paige, “and I’ll be your server today.”
Libby collects orders dutifully, polite and agreeable, but doesn’t once fully look away from the blonde, practically drooling once she finally gets to her, “and what can I get for you to drink babe?” 
Azzi’s not sure whether it’s the sultry tone or the nickname that gets Paige’s attention, but all of a sudden her best friend is staring up at the waitress with her own flirty smile. She likes to think she’s not a particularly violent person, but Azzi thinks she might end up in jail for homicide tonight. 
“Well babe,” Paige winks, Azzi wants to die, “what would you recommend?”
Libby smirks, clearly feeling triumphant as she leans on the table, one hand reaching out to brush Paige’s forearm, “sex on the beach.”
Several things happen at once. Tim chokes on a breadstick. Katie immediately thumps him on the back. Zoe lets out a laugh. Azzi’s nails break the skin of her palm, drawing blood as she fists both of hands. And then-
“She has a girlfriend,” it’s a blatantly untrue but all Azzi can think about is stopping this  random girl from eye-fucking her Paige. It does the trick, Libby’s eyes go comically wide, as she steps back from the table, from Paige. 
“She does?” Tim asks. Next to him, Katie, shoots her daughter a knowing look that veers on the edge of disappointment. 
Azzi stutters under the heat of Paige’s glare, the blonde clearly unamused by her lie, “I uh- I mean um- it’s not official but um yeah,” she doesn’t even sound convincing to herself, “I’m uh- I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”
She practically shoves Paige out of the booth so she can climb out of it herself, adrenaline pumping through her veins. Her heart hammers in her chest and she tries to block out the sound of Paige’s being questioned by her dad, as she rushes into the restroom. 
There’s no amount of water she could splash on her face to make this heat go away, but she tries anyway, unsure of when the tap water starts to blend in with the tears streaming down her face. The unsettling anger of how dare she flirt with another girl beating in her heart is replaced by the guilt of i’m not allowed to feel this way thrashing around her rib cage. It hurts all the same, as Azzi clutches her chest, trying to even out her breathing.
She doesn’t hear the door open or close until, “What the fuck was that?”
“Get out,” Azzi whispers, closing her eyes and leaning her head on the mirror, “just give me a second okay?”
“Oh no, no, no, you owe me a huge fucking explanation right now,” Paige hisses, “what the fuck was that bullshit? I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“It was a joke-” before Azzi can even finish the sentence, there’s a hand on her biceps, forcing her to turn around. When she opens her eyes, Paige’s face is far too close to her own and when she tries to move back, she’s trapped with the cool edge of the sink. It’s too much, the proximity, the tension, the lingering touch of Paige’s fingers curled around her arm. 
“Stop lying,” Paige bites out. 
“It just slipped out babe,” and fuck, Azzi absolutely hadn’t meant to add that last part, hadn’t meant to make it so obvious what exactly had triggered her little outburst. Realisation flashes across Paige’s face, as she takes a step back, letting go of Azzi, and the distance should be freeing, but instead it just makes her feel lost.  
“That’s what this is about?” the blonde asks in disbelief. 
“Yes- no- I don’t know, okay,” Azzi’s voice is high-pitched, “I’m sorry okay. I’ll tell the waitress it was a joke,” she lets out a humourless laugh, “I didn’t mean to fucking cockblock you.”
“Cockblock me? Dude I wasn’t trying to fuck the waitress what the fuck?”
“Could’ve fooled me babe,” Azzi sneers. 
Something menacing flashes in Paige’s eyes, “stop calling me that.”
“What? You don’t like me calling you babe. You didn’t seem to have a problem when it was her.” 
“Oh my fucking god Azzi,” Paige throws her hands up, “you don’t get to do this. Not when your girlfriend is sitting right there.”
The reminder of Zoe is like being splashed with cold water and Azzi feels everything inside of her freeze. She grips the edge of the sink, trying to find some semblance of balance as Paige continues to glare at her. 
“For the past few hours, I have had to hear your girlfriend call you every fucking nickname in the book. I have had to watch her kiss you and move your hair back and grip your fucking knee under the table,” with every sentence, Paige inches closer and closer, until she’s accentuating every word by pushing her index finger into Azzi’s chest, “and you can’t even fucking deal with me calling some other girl babe?”
“Paige,” Azzi whispers when Paige’s voice breaks on the last word. Their faces are so close, she can feel the other girl’s uneven breathing all over her skin. And it takes everything in her to not cave in and reach a hand out to caress away the tear that's threatening to fall from the blonde’s tearline. 
“It’s been hell Azzi,” Paige spits out, “so you don’t get to be upset if I want to fuck someone-”
Something snaps and before Paige can complete the offending sentence, before she can imprint an image that will forever haunt Azzi’s mind, Azzi silences all the warning bells of why she really shouldn’t, and pulls her best friend into a searing kiss. Immediately, Paige’s hands come to rest against Azzi’s hips, pressing her firmly against the edge of the sink. It’s as if they’re trying to meld their bodies together, both of them gripping each other as close as possible. Outside, it’s a summer evening of clear blue skies, but here in this random restaurant restroom, lightning strikes.
Paige bites at Azzi’s bottom lip and then traces her tongue over the bruise she’s created, smirking when it elicits a gasp from the younger girl. Lips still firmly moving against Azzi’s, her hands work expertly on the buttons of Azzi’s tight shorts. The sensation of everything Paige is all-consuming and Azzi feels like she’s drunk on the taste of her best friend’s skin, as she moves away from Paige’s lips, to pepper kisses on her neck, before moving down to suck a mark into her collarbone. Mine, mine, mine. 
“Fuck Az,” Paige moans when Azzi’s teeth grate against her skin and it’s the brunette’s turn to smirk. But her cockiness is short-lived when Paige’s fingers finally find their way into her now unbuttoned shorts. They press down on her clit through her underwear, making her whine. 
A cry of “Paige,” escapes her lips when the blonde slides Azzi’s panties to the side, her middle and index finger beginning to rub circles around the younger girl’s clit in a tantalisingly slow rhythm. 
“So wet, so fucking wet for me,” Paige’s voice is wrecked with want, as she brings her free hand to cup Azzi’s jaw, forcing her best friend to look her in the eyes. It scares Azzi, the sheer amount of emotion she can see swirling in the blonde’s eyes. There’s lust and then there’s something else, another l-word that she can’t bring herself to acknowledge, knowing it’ll ruin her, ruin them. 
“Please,” Azzi whispers against Paige’s mouth, as the older girl’s fingers slip from her clit to tease against her soaking entrance, dipping into her folds but not giving her what she wants. 
“If you want something baby,” Paige traces Azzi’s lips with her thumb, “you have to ask for it.”
Azzi's hands moved away from where they had been firmly gripping Paige’s waist, to wrap around her neck. She bites softly against Paige’s left earlobe, eliciting a low groan, before bringing her lips as close to the blonde’s ears as she can, “I want you to fuck me.”
It’s all it takes, Paige finally gives Azzi what her body’s so desperately craving, for far longer than she’s willing to admit, pumping two fingers into her pussy, while her thumb stimulates her clit. And fuck, Paige knows exactly what she’s doing, fingers curling in the exact right spots and Azzi feels like she’s floating or flying or falling, maybe all of the above. 
“Please, please, please,” Azzi babbles incoherently, burying her face in the crevice of Paige’s neck, tears beginning to blur her vision. Because, it’s too much, the ecstasy, the fact that it’s Paige behind the ecstasy, the fact that this is better than her wildest fantasies. 
“Doing so good for me baby,” Paige praises, fingers starting to move faster, “taking my fingers so fucking well Az, think you can handle one more?”
Azzi whines in response. Paige pushes in a third finger, both of them letting out identical sighs of pleasure. She’s slow for a second, giving Azzi time to adjust but-
“Fuck, Paige, faster, please,” the younger girls moans, grinding fervently, desperately,  against Paige’s fingers, trying to create more fiction. 
“Anything for you Az,” Paige whispers, and even in the high of the moment, Azzi knows those words are about more than sex, “whatever you want.”
As Paige’s fingers begin to move at a rapid pace, curling around her g-spot, over and over and over, Azzi can feel that familiar pressure building in her stomach. Her fingers claw at Paige’s neck in warning, too worked up for words. Paige nudge’s Azzi’s face out of her neck, free hand cupping the younger girl's jaw. 
“Come apart for me baby,” she whispers before pressing their lips together. 
Azzi’s hips stutter as her orgasm rolls all over her, pussy clenching around Paige’s fingers, as she moans into the older girl's mouth. Spent, her body goes limp, her best friend’s  firm grip pressing her against the edge of the sink, the only thing anchoring her and keeping her uprights. Paige slowly pulls her fingers out of Azzi’s pants and the loss of contact feels wrong. It’s instinct really, as Azzi reaches for Paige’s hand and brings it up to her mouth, sucking each of the older girl’s fingers clean one by one, and it’s worth it for the way Paige looks wrecked. 
“Az-” she begins softly, eyes filled with questions but before Azzi can even think about any answers- 
“Azzi,” reality crashes and burns around the two girls as Zoe’s voice calls out for her girlfriend. The sound of footsteps gets closer and closer. Panic takes the place of pleasure as Paige and Azzi jump apart from each other and the realisation of their surroundings hits both of them at the same time. Sweat sheens against Paige’s collarbone and Azzi’s lips are bruised, her eyes still glazy. Their identical dishevelled demeanour gives away far too much. Just as the restroom door creaks open a little, Azzi dives into one of the stalls. 
“Oh, hey Paige,” guilt pools in Azzi’s stomach at the sound of Zoe’s innocent voice, as she presses her ear against the stall door,  “is Azzi in here? She’s been gone for like 20 minutes.”
“She- she was,” Paige stutters, and Azzi hates herself even more for putting her best friend in this position, “I-uh I think she um- she wanted some fresh air.”
“Ah okay, I’ll go try and find her,” Zoe pauses, “are you okay? You look a little flustered.”
“Me? Oh yeah, I’m fine,” Paige assures in a high-pitched voice, “just uh miss my girlfriend you know.”
Azzi flinches at the lie. She’d made such a fucking mess today. The lying, the cheating, all of it was so out of character and all of a sudden, she feels dirty. Tears brim in her eyes as she begins to process the gravity of what she’d done. And perhaps the worst part of it, is that she can’t find it in herself to fully regret it. If she could turn back time, she doesn’t know if she’d do anything different. Because when it comes to Paige, Azzi’s fine living in shades of grey. 
“Yeah, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” Zoe says slowly. 
There’s a pause and Azzi knows the words neither did I are floating in Paige's mind before she answers, “yeah, it’s uh- it’s new.”
“That’s good. I’m happy for you,” the sincerity in Zoe’s words hit like stones, rupturing whatever built up image of i am a good person Azzi had ever had of herself
“Thank you,” Paige replies quietly. 
“It just-,” Zoe draws in a breath, “Azzi she- she worries about you a lot you know. Even before- you know- when you guys weren’t- you know? Like I think she thinks about you a lot,” there’s an unmistakable wistfulness in Zoe’s voice, “ like- if you’re doing okay and all that. And I don’t- I don’t even know you but I know she wants you to be happy- and- and I want whatever Azzi wants- so- so if you’re happy- that’s good.”
“That’s- that’s really sweet of you,” Paige sounds as guilty as Azzi feels.
There’s quiet for a minute until, “do you think I make her happy? Does she- does she talk about me?”
Zoe’s voice is laced in insecurity and hopefulness and Azzi wishes she’d never brought this girl into her mess in the first place. The sun-kissed Californian had been a classmate who had accidentally stumbled upon Azzi mid-breakdown on a random Thursday. One second she was hesitant, the next she was spilling her woes to a stranger, tired of holding it in. And from then on Zoe had been on a mission to just be there. She’d never hidden her intention, always clear that she wanted more than friendship and Azzi, despite knowing that her heart didn’t really have space for anyone else, had let her loneliness be her guide and given in to the urge to just let someone hold her. But the truth is that while every other second spent with Zoe was filled with mentions of Paige’s name, every moment spent with Paige was never about anything else other than her. 
“She- she does, she seems happy,” Paige can’t bring herself to say the with you. The blonde sounds defeated, as if the admission that Azzi could possibly be happy with someone else has taken everything out of her. 
“Good, it means a lot,” Zoe’s voice is lighter now, like there’s a smile hidden in it, “especially from you. Thank you. I’ll uh- I’ll go see if I can find her.”
Azzi waits for the sound of footsteps shuffling and then the sound of the door clicking behind Zoe, before prying herself out of the stall. Paige is hunched over the sink, face buried in her hands. And the words my fault, my fault, my fault imprint themselves all over Azzi’s heart. 
“Your girlfriend’s looking for you,” Paige says, not bothering to look up. 
“Paige I-”
“Just go Azzi, we’ll just” Paige scoffs, “we’ll just play pretend again,” the walls are up again and Paige is unreachable in her castle built from the ashes of the purity in their friendship that they’d just sacrified for a fucking quickie in a barely-lit restroom. And maybe Azzi should say something, maybe she should stay and see if she can fight her way into Paige’s castle. But Azzi’s no knight in shining armour, not Paige’s, not Zoe’s, not anybody else’s because knights don’t cheat and they don’t lie and they don’t break people’s hearts. So she listens to what her best friend says, she walks out, and she pretends she doesn’t hear the sob that’s let out behind her. 
***
November 2023
UCLA is up on UConn, it should be a pretty momentous occasion and it is. Azzi’s had one of the best games of her career to get her team mere seconds away from getting their first win over the powerhouse. For UConn, so has Paige, except there’s nothing but frustration gleaming in the blonde’s face. The game had been bad for UConn, the cracks created by injuries on full display. And the competitor in Azzi was more than happy to take advantage of that. But the part of her that was Paige’s best friend was stuck on how tired Paige looked. Someone fucking help her, Azzi had thought throughout the game, she literally just came back from injury. 
The outcome of the game is clear and Azzi’s already on the bench getting rest, cheering for her own team of course, but keeping a subtle eye on what’s happening with Paige. Azzi’s eyes follow Paige as she’s finally subbed out. The older girl walks to the end of her own bench, hands coming to rest on her thighs as she hangs her head, face scrunched up in irritation. Paige does that thing where it's like she’s trying to bite of all the skin on her lips and Azzi has the familiar urge to march over and make her stop, preferably by kissing her, not that that’s a thought she’s allowed to have. 
It’s ironic really, the 2,943 miles that had once been the reason they’d fallen apart, is the only thing holding them together. Being out of each other’s reach makes it easier to ignore what had happened over the summer, makes it easier to not give into that same vice all over again. And it makes sense, Azzi thinks, because since she’s met her, whenever Paige had just been a blurry goofy face on her screen, they’d been good at the just friends thing. The moment they could touch though, that’s when lines got blurry. As much as Azzi’s not sure how she survived a year without Paige, she’s even less sure about how she’d survived that one year where they’d practically lived in each other’s skins. 
Things in the handshake line are somewhat icy with both teams being overprotective of their star players. Muhl’s eyes are full of disdain once she reaches Azzi and Arnold barely shakes her hand, only doing as much as she has to, to keep up appearance. Azzi’s teammates aren’t any better, Angelica smiles at everyone until she reaches Paige, and Kiki rolls her eyes at the point guard. But it doesn’t matter what anybody else does, not when Paige practically falls into Azzi’s arms, her tense body finally beginning to relax a little. 
“You did good,” Azzi whispers into the blonde’s hair, tightening her hold on the other girl as she soothingly strokes her back.
Paige scoffs, burying her face further into Azzi’s neck, “you did good, I did what I had to.”
They break apart reluctantly, the shutter of cameras ruining the intimacy of the moment. Their hands hold on a touch longer but the minute they finally slip away from each other, the familiar feeling of i’m tired of missing you that seems to always be lingering within Azzi, prickles against her heart. 
*** 
UConn and UCLA don’t have a rivalry but if you were sat at the hotel restaurant in the Cayman Islands on a lovely November evening, you wouldn’t know that. There’s multiple women’s basketball teams present at the restaurant and everyone’s mingling with each other but the Bruins and Huskies seem determined to avoid each other at all costs. At one point, Angelica and Muhl, of course it would be them, accidentally bump into each other and Azzi holds her breath at the icy glare shared between them. She’s not sure how she and Paige ended up with something akin to the women’s basketball version of the Montagues and the Capulets, but it seems fitting with the way her life’s been going, that it would eventually start to take the shape of a tragedy.
It’s around 10pm when Azzi notices Paige moving in the direction of the door, towards the beach. Azzi hesitates for a moment, knowing her need to go after the blonde isn't just one born out of a best friend’s concern, but it’s Paige. It doesn’t matter if there’s inevitable destruction on the other side, it’s Paige and when it’s Paige, Azzi will follow. 
Paige’s silhouette on the beach, glowing underneath the moonlight, with waves crashing onto the shore beyond her, is straight out of a dream. Azzi’s not an artist by any means, but she thinks if she were, this moment would be her muse. The sea wind causes Paige’s hair to flutter with it. Her eyes are closed in concentration, knees pressed against her heaving chest as she takes in deep breaths of salty air. Azzi traipses across the sand, sandals in hand, before falling to the ground next to the other girl. A whisper of a smile is the only acknowledgement Paige offers her as they let a comfortable silence glide over them. 
“It would be nice to live here,” Paige says after a moment, “it’s peaceful.”
“Except when it storms,” Azzi surmises. 
“It’s not peaceful anywhere when it storms,” Paige counters matter-of-factly, “can you just let me have my moment?
“Right, right, continue.”
“Well now I don’t want to.”
Azzi laughs. Paige grins. It’s so easy. It’s so fucking scary. 
“Why’d you leave the restaurant?” Azzi asks cautiously. 
“Fresh air.”
“And?”
Paige sighs, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, “it’s gonna be a long season.”
“It always feels like that at the beginning.”
“I know- it’s just- after last year- I just thought it would be different. We’d show the world this time. Be like the other UConn teams of the past. Maybe I just wanted something easier.”
“No you didn’t,” Azzi nudges Paige’s shoulder, “you’ve never wanted easy in your goddamn life Paige. If it’s not a challenge, then it’s not for you. Because you’re God’s strongest soldier, and He’ll give you  his hardest battles, right?”
“Right, but sometimes I just don’t feel so strong.”
“Remember what I said in LA? It’s okay to feel that way P. It’s okay to feel however you feel. Let yourself breathe sometimes, it’s good for you. Fall down, let things go, just- remember to get back up and hold on again. It’ll get better, I promise.”
“You always say the right things,” Paige says quietly, and then even quieter, she whispers under her breath, “you make it so hard Az.”
Azzi’s not fully sure what that means. She’s not sure she wants to. Instead she tangles her and Paige’s fingers together, ignoring the way it feels a little too right,  and lets them fall back into a peaceful quiet.
“So,” Paige begins again, after a couple of minutes, “Zoe didn’t make the trip here?”
I’m holding your hand and you’re thinking about my girlfriend. Maybe you’re a better person than me. 
“She can’t just leave all her schoolwork and follow me wherever,” Azzi says, trying to keep the defensiveness out of her voice. It’s true except the part where Zoe had asked if she wanted her there and Azzi hadn’t been able to give her the enthusiastic yes she wanted, starting an unspoken argument that quashed any chance of a nice romantic island getaway for the two of them. 
“She did for the Elite 8 last-” Paige bites her tongue. 
“How did you-,” Azzi’s brain feels dizzy with confusion, “how could you know that? You left- after the Sweet 16, you- how did you know Zoe was there?”
“I didn’t leave,” Paige keeps her eyes adamantly on the ocean, “the team wanted to stay longer,” that’s a lie, Azzi knows her too well, “and so I stayed and you know me, I love watching hoops so I uh- I watched your game.”
“You were there,” Azzi whispers more to herself than Paige at this point. She’d been so sure she was just hallucinating, her heart trying to trick itself into seeing what it wanted to see, “why didn’t you tell me you were there? Why didn’t you come see me after the game?”
“I did- fuck Azzi- I did-”
“Where? I would’ve seen- I didn’t see-” 
“I saw you,” Paige cuts through Azzi’s frantic questioning, her voice heavy with unspoken emotions as she continues to refuse to look at the younger girl, “you and Zoe. Together.”
“Paige-”
“After the game, you were looking for someone in the stands and I- I thought maybe you were looking for your parents but then I saw you- with her- outside the locker room and- it hit me that- that you were looking for her,” Paige spits the last word out as it feels like lava on her tongue. 
In the grand scheme of things, maybe Azzi should let Paige keep this misconception, maybe it would make things simpler if she let Paige believe in the idea that there was someone else Azzi sought out when she was struggling. But- 
“I thought I saw you,” Azzi breathes out, “I should have been looking for Zoe but-” she has to draw in a breath when Paige whips around, piercing blue eyes that feel like they can see straight into Azzi’s soul, “Paige, I was looking for you-”
The last bit of sound is stolen away from Azzi as Paige’s lips crash onto hers. And it’s so different from summer and that wretched bathroom. Something softer, more gentle, but still desperate and passionate. Time slows down, as Azzi pulls Paige into her lap, hands caressing her waist, mouths still moving against each other with perfect rhythm. They only pull away when air becomes a necessity, resting their forehead against each other, as they breathe in sync. 
“You’re so beautiful,” Azzi whispers, moving a strand of hair out the blonde’s face. 
The way Paige blushes is everything, “stop.”
“You are,” Azzi insists, pressing a kiss against the corner against the edge of her lips, “you’re perfect P.”
If she goes blind tomorrow, in the next second even, Azzi thinks that would be okay. As long as this, Paige with her soft Azzi smile, looking at her with that sparkle in her eyes, face illuminated by the shine of the stars, is the last thing Azzi sees. 
Slowly Paige climbs off of her, stretching out a hand to pull Azzi up. 
“You don’t have a roommate right?,” she asks with a soft smirk that transforms into a shy grin when Azzi nods. And this isn’t a version of Paige that Azzi's ever met before, so different from her cocky loud best friend, but she’d like to learn her all the same. 
The hotel staff probably think they’re a little drunk as they giggle their way to Azzi’s hotel room. Azzi barely manages to get the door open, before Paige’s lips are all over her again, drifting everywhere from her lips to her neck to her collarbone. 
“Off, off, off,” Paige urges, hands pulling away Azzi’s shirt and she can’t help but giggle at the older girl’s impatience. She keeps her eyes firmly on Paige as she unhooks her bra, smirking as her best friend’s eyes glaze over. Paige moves to touch her, and Azzi moves back immediately. 
“Nuh huh. I show you mine, you show me yours.”
“You’re so fucking annoying,” Paige groans but does as she’s told, discarding her shirt and Azzi’s smirk widens. She moves towards Paige, slowly tracing her tongue down the older girl’s neck. 
“Am I?” Azzi whispers, as she backs her best friend onto the bed. Paige’s eyes follow her every movement as Azzi slowly slides down Paige’s pants, and then her underwear. She runs a finger down Paige’s soaked folds, causing the other girl’s body to shiver, “so wet already, for someone so annoying?”
“Fuck y-” Paige cuts herself off with a groan, when Azzi’s fingers find her sensitive clit.
Settling herself in between the older girl's legs, Azzi grazes her teeth against Paige’s left thigh, satisfied when it makes the other girl’s breath hitch,  “if I’m so annoying maybe I should go?”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Paige warns breathlessly, head propped up against Azzi’s pillows. 
“That’s what I thought,” Azzi smirks, as she peppers kisses up Paige’s thighs, her right thumb lazily flickering against Paige’s clit. 
“You’re such a fucking tease,” Paige lets out a frustrated whine, “just fuck me already.”
Azzi bites down hard against Paige’s thigh, wanting to leave a mark in the one place no one would ever see it, before looking up at Paige, “whatever you want.”
Paige’s entire body writhes as Azzi fucks her tongue into Paige’s pussy, building pace with every thrust. One hand fists around the sheets, as the other moves to grab at Azzi’s head, trying to guide her in deeper. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck shit Azzi please,” Paige curses, eyes rolling into her skull, “just like that fuck.”
She’s so close, words becoming incoherent noises, thighs beginning to shake, when Azzi pulls her tongue off.
“What the fuck-” Paige almost yells but it turns into a groan when Azzi replaces her tongue with two fingers instead, “shit- FUCK.”
Azzi attaches her now-free lips to Paige’s clit and she can tell it’s too much. Paige’s back arches off the bed as her eyes go hazy. And then Azzi’s above her, fingers still rapidly pumping into Paige, as she places a delicate kiss against her lips. 
“Let go baby, I’ve got you,” Azzi whispers into Paige’s ear as the blonde closes her eyes, letting her orgasm wash all over her, “I’ve got you.”
Paige is still for a second, as Azzi slips her fingers out, continuing to press lazy open-mouthed kisses against her best friend’s neck. She squeals when she feels herself being flipped over, back hitting the mattress. 
“What was it you said?” Paige asks cheekily, as starts to unbutton Azzi’s jeans, “I showed you mine, now you have to show me yours.”
Azzi rolls her eyes, a laugh escaping her throat. Trust them to be dorks even in a moment like this. And then Paige attaches her lips to Azzi’s clit and the giggles turn into loud desperate moans. When she slips her fingers in, it’s clear Paige remembers exactly how to push Azzi over the edge. 
“So fucking perfect,” Paige whispers from between her legs, eyes looking up at a blissed-out Azzi with awe, “you’re so fucking perfect.”
“That’s you,” Azzi manages to get out in between bated breaths, before her own orgasm hits her, and Paige’s name waterfalls out of her lips like a prayer. 
There’s no more words after that, only shared looks and soft grins as they make their way into the en-suite bathroom, lazily washing each other between stolen kisses. They fall asleep, wrapped in each other's arms with matching content smiles. 
***
Azzi wakes up alone the next morning. There’s no scribbled note, or even a text. In fact there’s really no proof that Paige was ever there to begin with, except for the ghost of Paige’s touch written all over Azzi’s skin. For a second, Azzi sits in bed and stares out her window. There's a thunderstorm brewing outside (it's not peaceful anywhere when it storms). She watches the raindrops slide down one by one and decides that, that’s the only water that’ll fall today because she won’t shed a single tear and she won’t cry and she most definitely won’t sob. 
She replies to Zoe’s i miss you text with a me too she doesn’t mean.
And then she gets up and goes on with her day. 
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