#anyway i had a chest spasm yesterday and it sucked but then i got inspired to paint what that felt like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

red-5 · 6 years

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*18+ NSFW

*Request

‘Hiya! I wanted to make a request, pretty please! Can you do a one shot with either Bucky or Steve? And do you think you could use the song ‘Quit’ by Cashmere Cat (Ft. Ariana Grande.) I love that song. Thanks love!💕 ‘

A/N: Bucky was the obvious choice for me given the choice of song. I hope you don’t mind terribly @snowprincess133, but given the ::ahem:: suggestive nature of the lyrics, this got pretty smutty pretty fast. This did spark inspiration for a potential future Steve story that is similar to this one if there is an interest. Anyway, I hope this is what you had in mind. Enjoy. :)

It wasn’t fair. He knew it wasn’t. He told himself that simple fact every step of the way, knowing it wouldn’t stop him but perhaps acting as penance for his forthcoming sins, of which he was certain there would be many.

And you say that I’m the devil you know, and I don’t disagree

The bite of the frozen, metal fire escape barely registered in the chilled fingers of his right hand, let alone his left. He moved automatically, careful to keep his eyes low and head ducked as he climbed and swung his way to a familiar window, illuminated from the inside by a soft glow. Uncertainty finally clawed its way into his chest as he caught sight of her face, more beautiful than he had remembered, stealing the breath from his lungs and nearly knocking him off balance.

They say, “You crazy, just leave him, he’ll suffocate you” But I wanna be in your arms

He didn’t have to imagine what her friends had to say about him, she had told him outright. It was the last time they had spoken, months ago but he remembered every detail as if it were yesterday. She had done everything he had asked, kept his identity a mystery, made excuses, lied, and he had come to her, tail tucked between his legs and told her he wanted to put an end to it.

It was bullshit, of course, and he had nearly caved to the part hurt, part fury that raged in her eyes. But it was with blind panic that he realized how dependent he had become on her scent, her taste, the feeling of her skin against his, and the longer he went without it, the more volatile he became.

He would not ruin her.

‘Cause when you call my heart starts to roll, I always want more It’s my heaven, my hell

His craving became too much, burning and itching under his skin, twisting painfully in his stomach as need gave way to obsession. He hadn’t realized where he was going until he was well away from the compound, the smog-filled air of the city replacing the crisp, clean air surrounding the Avengers property. His cheeks and nose were chapped red by the time he parked his motorcycle in the alley, slinking through the shadows until he found himself frozen in place.

We’re heading deep inside lives a voice, a voice so quiet But I can’t hear that voice when your heart beats next to mine

She hadn’t seen him yet, her head still ducked towards the screen of her computer, he could slip away as silently as he came. Her life would continue without him, and be all the better for it.

But he didn’t want to leave. He wanted her to see him, to give him a reason to stay, as devastating as the fallout would be. He needed to feel her eyes on him, though he told himself in vain that it would not make him crave her touch. That her gaze would be enough.

I can’t quit you, I can’t quit you

He started when her eyes snapped up to meet his, his presence finally scratching at that unknown place at the back of her mind and forcing her to seek out the source. The fluorescent light from her screen cast deep shadows across her face, but even in the scarce light he could see the conflict that played out. Doubt bubbled sourly in his stomach as the seconds dragged on at an agonizing pace, but scarcely faded when at long last she stood slowly and wrenched the window open.

Yeah, I’m gonna regret it

She didn’t stand to watch him clamor inside, turning her back to him and wrapping her arms tightly around her torso as she paced angrily. His fingers itched to touch her, his skin set on fire with her proximity, head swimming drunkenly with her intoxicating scent. He was an alcoholic on the road to sobriety, and had found himself at the bottom of a bottle.

She halted abruptly, nearly vibrating with rage as she fixed him with a hard stare.

“How dare you.”

He flinched, her words like a sharp slap to the face.

“You say the things you say, do the things you do, then show up here after everything?”

There was no defense he could give, no excuse for the hell he had dragged her through, and so he gave none. His silence only enraged her further.

“Why are you here, James? Did you think you could just appear out of the blue and everything would be fine? Don’t tell me you’re here to apologize, because you can keep your pity.”

I know I’m gonna regret it

He allowed his eyes to find hers, losing themselves in their familiarity though he felt the sting of their absent warmth.

“I… “

She raised an expectant eyebrow, and he couldn’t stop his gaze from dropping to her trembling lips.

“You what? You what, James? You can’t do this!”

Her rising voice rang harshly in his ears, hitting him dead center like a blow to the chest. He had wanted to destroy her faith in him, never having felt deserving of it in the first place, to crush any chance she would harbor lingering feelings for him in his overconfidence to control his own hunger for her. It wasn’t the fury in her words that tore at him, it was the pain that lie beneath. The pain that shone in the unshed tears that had collected in the corners of her eyes. He had broken her the way he had broken himself.

The self-hatred that rose in his throat like bile only fed his selfishness, his firm belief that there was truly nothing pure about him save for the light she provided. The light he had snuffed out.

The single tear that slipped down her cheek shattered the smoldering remains of his heart along with his control.

When you said, "Baby, I just want you to lay me down and we’ll fuck the pain away”

“Just tell me what- “

He swallowed the rest of her sentence with an open mouth, lunging across the room to grip her face and crush his lips forcefully to hers. They stumbled, tripped, grasped at clothing and limbs to right themselves, fused together despite the small, frantic fists that beat mercilessly against his chest. Metal fingers tangled in her hair, flesh hand gliding down the flimsy material of her nightshirt to clutch at her hip. By the time the mattress hit the back of her knees, her fingers had unwound from their tight clench to twist into the lapel of his leather riding jacket.

Teeth clashed as they collapsed in a heap on the blankets, writhing and gasping as hands reacquainted themselves with the curves and contours of each other’s bodies. A deep growl rumbled in his chest as she tore his outer layer away, arching her body shamelessly into his and scraping her nails up the expanse of his back through the thin cotton of his shirt.

'Cause skin on skin, I feel nothing but the burning of desire

His lips slid to her jaw, biting, and nipping at the heated flesh of her neck as his fingertips danced up her thigh, relishing in her gasps and moans, the sweet little sounds he had deprived himself of for too long. The last offensive barrier that blocked her from his touch was swiftly removed, slid torturously down her legs, and discarded carelessly.

The pad of his thumb felt its way to the swollen bud at the apex of her thighs, his own arousal growing painfully in his jeans at the feminine cry that tore from her throat. He began his descent, metal fingers unwinding from her hair to slide her last article of clothing up her torso, exposing a new expanse of delicious skin for his lips to wreak utter destruction on.

Days-worth of unshaven scruff left red, irritated bumps in its wake as his mouth sucked deep purple marks into the dips and divots of her hip bones, fingers teasing at the slick flesh between her legs. Her hips heaved and jerked off the bed and into his touch, hand fisting tightly in his hair to yank his mouth back to hers. He leaned his elbow by the side of her head as the impatient hand that dropped between them to claw at his belt confirmed she was as desperate for this as he was.

And that’s just foreplay

The bite if his zipper still dug into his thighs as she hooked a knee around his hips, his hand abandoning its post as he positioned himself to slide around to the back of her leg and squeeze a merciless bruise into place as he anchored himself to her.

Their sighs and moans rose and twisted in tandem crescendo as he slid into her in a single motion, his head dropping into the valley between her neck and shoulder, hot breath coming in short, shuddering pants. Her nails dragged an exquisite burn across his lower back, urging him to move, to begin that heavenly undulation that would bring them the sinful release they craved. He acquiesced to her demands, rolling, and crashing into her, desperately tamping down the release that had already begun to build deep inside him.

It had been much too long.

We’re heading deep inside lives a voice, a voice so quiet But I can’t hear that voice when your heart beats next to mine

Her eyes screwed shut, one arm winding around his torso, the other cradling his head against her, body quivering involuntarily as months of suppressed, unbridled passion mounted between them. There was no hesitation, no moments of clarity or realization that they slowly unraveled any progress they had made in abstinence, any forward momentum their lives had taken without the other in it. There would be no recovering from this, not this time. The fire would surge to life once more, or plunge his life into eternal winter.

He would take that bet a thousand times over.

I can’t quit you, I can’t quit you

All too soon her body twitched and spasmed beneath him, nails digging into his flesh as her climax sparked his own, dragging him deep into the undertow of overwhelming sensation and absolute pleasure that howled in his ears and unraveled the very fibers of his muscles as they clenched painfully before dissolving into putty. He fell limp against her, melting into her form, chest heaving, ear pressed against the sweat-soaked skin of her chest. The erratic rhythm of her heart sang sweetly to him as he recovered, fingers threading clumsily through his tangled mess of hair to brush the strands from his cheek before stilling at the base of his neck.

Her breathing evened, and as much as he hated himself for it, for all of it, he would allow himself to stay pressed against the soft warmth of her body, to bathe in her scent and her touch, to be the monstrous, selfish man that he was. To indulge in the first night of sleep unplagued by the ghosts that haunted his waking hours he had gotten in ages.

The morning would either bring his salvation, or his undoing. He would allow the night to bring his sanctuary.

Gonna regret it Yeah, I’m gonna regret it

@angelaiswriting

#avengers #avengers fanfiction #avengers imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction

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