#anyway enjoy it was really fun to make!
Please take my uquiz about which character in the fellowship you are (that I made instead of working on my finals oops)
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Random update to the void that is this blog:
The urge to write again is slowly starting to rise up again. XD In addition to BNHA, I may want to write some short SINoALICE stories too.
I've watched the first episode of season 5, I think? But I haven't had the energy to watch more. TT^TT
I've been keeping up with the manga, though. Took an interesting turn. Reasonable. Those huge changes to their world must've be really hard to take in, though, for the general public. The latest chapters make me think of that one random, throwaway fic I wrote of future Wonder Duo's sporadic team ups. In that fic, Midoriya trained under Hawks after UA and worked intel stuff and whatnot with him as a pro-hero. Bakugo hated it lol.
Interesting to see vaguely similar vibes. (Very vague.) I'm excited to see where Bakugo stands in the new world. Also as much as I love Deku pls gib me more bird bros horikoshi i need more bird bros dont leave behind tokoyami pls--
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damn the episode aint dropped but 2 hours ago and we already tearing it apart i guess
There’s absolutely shit to criticize but it’s Marvel? You looking for Disney to dismantle the white supremacist-hetero-patriarchy in 6 episodes of a comic book show? You gon be disappointed.
Anyway lemme go over there n rewatch those Sam Wilson training montages, goddamn.
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I was gossiping with a friend about a mutual friend who's throwing a tantrum abt smth silly and I said something like "when I lash out I apologize in a timely way" (this mutual friend has a thing where they'll lash out and then like? A week later be like "sorry about that :/"
But anyway they literally responded with "I don't even know what that would look like! You always keep the peace and de-escalate" and me, who has internalized the idea that I am inherently a mean and rude person, was like :O
I guess it's hard to tell when I'm lashing out and when I'm just. Not being as overly polite/diplomatic.
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Does it rub anyone else the wrong way when someone talks shit about a specific fic or something? Maybe it’s because I’ve been on that end, but like, it just feels wrong. It’s okay not to like something, but that’s a small time creator? It’s very possible they could see someone saying something rude about it and actually be hurt. Like I said, maybe because I’ve been there and it’s made me afraid to post stuff, but I dunno, be nice?? Keep your thoughts to yourself or to your friends.
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so if you know me you know the burden I have of eating but lately I’ve been making lists and I’ve been putting eating on the list and because I’m obsessed with ticking things off of my list I have to eat or I’ll feel unacomplished and sometimes I gag it’s whatever but at least I can tick it off my list and take my vitamins right after so it’s like a win win also I need to look after my tummy because it was really making me feel so sad that my gut was being neglected when that’s where all the good & bad bacteria lives
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I got vagued about for the first time lmao
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D'espairs Ray - Yami Ni Furu Kiseki
The fear of losing you mixes with the air into this bothersome room
I've tied your hands, your body and your neck to my fingertips with a red string
so many times, so many times, until you could not move
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sorry for not writing:/
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I think I accidentally adopted a kid today and hnfn
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The Flash (2014-) | Favorite Barry Allen Eps per Season
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me: books are really great because everyone who reads them develops different opinions based on their own experiences! everyone interprets things differently and forms different ideas and enjoys it in different ways!
someone: *forms a different opinion than me*
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thronebreaker sketches as a gift for @icpe for all the great content and keeping me happy :)
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my closest friend is getting another job and we wont work together anymore and last week is our last shift together and im so sad!!! im going to miss her and our high jinks so much like the absolute levels of tom foolery that we commit is unprecedented !! i will miss her so much like istg if i cry on wednesday ill be mortified but ive spent like 1 and 2/3rd years seeing her multiple times a week!!
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Four Jews in a room bitching! Four Jews in a room plot the way they cook linguine. Isn’t it great? We’re all so swell. Such a dear clientele. I swear we’re gonna have syphilis, he said. Good. I have—Yes? Syphilis it’s true but who is counting? We’re too busy mounting when he’s naked. Yes? Does he thrill you? Yes! Is he viscous? Yes! Would he kill you? ...yes, I think he’s sorta kinda a homo my mother’s not thrilled at all. Father homo. What about this family! Experts can see this is so! Photographs can’t capture rich Marvin, which, Marvin do you prefer I lust for Marvin grabbing Whizzer’s ass! Oh sure, I’m sure, he’s sure he looks just a wee bit small. This girl agrees. Adieu. I’ll wait outside and hold the psychiatrist returning, returning, five sessions back in biblical times. Biblical times? Biblical times? Biblical times. Oh, those biblical times! But nothing’s impossible! Look who’s got power. King of the losers! At frightened men who rule the world. Stupid, charming men, silly childish jerks. That said, march. March. March of the falsettos. March of the falsettos. Who is man enough to forgive my former shpieling. It does not concern the game. God you’re pretty. More’s the pity since you need a man—What? Who’s brainy—or witty—move. What should I do now? Fight the unknown. Baking the bread, sharpening knives, forging ahead. Loving our— Liking our— Hating our— tea. I been playing canasta, disastrously. All my recreation seems to suit me okay. These are the new-sent wedding invitations, they are pseudo-romantic and sick! You say you’ll hate the world! He hates everything! I love my dad. He loves his father. I love my choice. You can sing a different song. Watch as you sing, how your homosexuals. Women with children. Short insomniacs. And a teeny tiny band. Come, back in. Fitfully we coexist. I’m still loose, she’s still with the psychiatrist. So I don’t have a hug. Where’s my hug? Where’s my hug? This is the year for Dot Nardoni, Tiffany Axelrod, Zoe Feinstein, Angelina Dellibovi, Bunny Doyne, or what is he doing here? What are you doing here? Jason asked me to save lives and I save chicken fat. I can’t fucking deal with that. Do you know how great my perspire, where’s the heat? Where’s the fire? Used to be your mother. Not with guns, but kill your mother. Rather than humiliate her, killing your mother is happiness? I can’t eat breakfast, I barely arrive sick and frightened. They leave weeks later, bitter. No big deal, the game is yours. It’s unreal, you’re a man who Marvin loves. But that’s my heart attack! Jesus. But today you seem to be grim, life’s not all about him, and things rarely go right. It’s just— Don’t fight. That I haven’t died yet. Just stop it. I’m sick, but a miracle now? I don’t know if you exist, I can’t hear your kills. Something infectious. Something that spreads from his face. He holds me in his arms and whispers make him smile more. Don’t know why, but he looks like my friend? There are no answers, but what would I do...no simple stand. Welcome to Falsettoland...
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Nicole had a saying hanging up in her laundry room: if we hung all out problems on a line you would take yours and i would take mine. sometimes it takes driving past a funeral to remember how blessed we are. things are changing- an energy that feels fun and good and right.. i feel like im where im suppose to be feeling what im feeling. its actually beautiful- reminding myself there is nothing to cry about-there really isnt. everything is ok - it really is. i am loved and supported and i feel that- i deleted the dating app- i was using it to waste time. i don't think i'll meet anyone that way so that means i won't- i think thats how it works. the more time i spend alone the more i enjoy it. i dont feel like i need someone to be happy. i was worried about having time off and spending it with myself- guess what i enjoyed it. i didnt feel lonely or like i had to do anything. it felt really good-no one giving me shit. freedom, and the truth is when i say i cant do this for 30 years i could- i just dont want to. i hope i keep growing and learning and i hope i dont become complacent with where im at. Im in a weird spot at work. the only way for me to make any money is to work 6 days. i really enjoyed my time off. another thing i have to try and balance- i did say i was going to enjoy the nice weather. i would honestly love a day off during the week. ill figure it out. looking forward to mushies- i dont want to overthink it thats fr sure- but i am. im concerned about being trapped- as off as that sounds. i really want to go to the park. like drive there. im just not certain ill be ok to drive home. like stay at the park for 6 hrs, i think i would be fine in the park- has to be weekday- they open at 8. hopefully the tide cooperates. - honestly have the time probably more i feel like im tripping. sounds and visuals- weird stuff happens and i feel like i see weird things-sometimes snap shots- sound bites- it all sounds crazy. i hear and see so much- birds like me. its weird- but i always notice the birds they fly close to my car a lot i like it- i like the birds a lot. anyway- my goal this summer-one of them- is to be invited to bbq's. i only had 1 hamburger from a grill last summer. from work no less- so yes my fingers are crossed i get a bbq invite,me and mad she didnt get a burger last summer. i havent talked to to my hairdresser friend. she has a husband and a boyfriend-lots going on. she lied to me anyway-i hate when people lie to me - it makes me feel different- throws the energy off. some people just lie to lie- when u have a husband and a boyfriend guess what your lying to everyone including yourself. my supervisor lied to me today said she dropped my name but she didn't- i heard her whole conversation and she never said my name-how u gonna lie to me like that- and why?
How do you feel about shopping centres? Do you have any nearby?
Well, even though it doesn't happen as much as you'd like, I'm still glad you enjoy yourself every now and then 🌻 Doesn't that make every chance you have even more precious and pleasant? And a hot shower for me, please (x Warm or — god forbid — cool water feels really uncomfortable for me, but spending too much time in a hot bath makes me dizzy and weak, like I'm going to faint. By the way, fun fact: I feel like that quite often, yet I've never actually passed out. Always balancing on the verge of consciousness and unconsciousness (x
Oh, I sleep on the big pillow only. The small one is there just so the other doesn't feel lonely; it usually lies between the big one and the wall. Not for usage but for company. That's how I explained it as a kid, and that's how I explain it now.
Well said! To be honest, that's a big part of the way I define love — accepting each other yet helping the other to get better and getting better yourself. So I'm especially grateful to have such a person in my life, and to be that person for her.
Then I'll make sure to share whatever I come up with as soon as it happens! For now I'm a bit confused by the fact that Broomie was created by Ink yet he isn’t able to create sentient living beings, if I'm not mistaken. Right now it feels like a dead end, but that's just right now. I know I can make it work, and I will! [* anfie is filled with determination]
It's not surprising at all, to be honest. Many people confuse pin yin (official romanization system for Chinese) with simple latin letters and pronounce it all wrong. And it's even worse in Russian, since spelling mistakes are everywhere as well. (Okay, I'm rambling, I need to stop (x) I mean, I'll never ever give this type of scenes from this author a chance anymore, but all the other things are just as amazing as they were. It's so very worth it. And how I found it is a good question, because I don't remember (x Perhaps it was anime adaptation first; then it was on-going and it is likely I didn't want to wait and went to read the original novel... But I'm really not sure.
Again, best of luck with the diploma! I'm rooting for you every day, and without a doubt I believe in you!
The poem is far from finished, but I do like the changes I made. Poems are a special matter for me, I write those only when the words come from my heart and soul, when it hurts to stay silent. Sometimes it's like that with prose as well, but more often than not it's quite different. With poems there is never any rush. Anyway, I'm glad you're excited about this one, thanks for that, and for letting me ramble about the process 💖 Could you maybe share something about yours? Anything at all, I don't know much about drawing, digital or traditional, I'd just like to listen to you talk about something you love.
Take care! *hugs*
Oh I'm indifferent to them, there's one nearby but I go there mainly to a cafe or to the cinema, though I used to love to spend hours there trying on clothes x) How do you feel about them? ☆
It does indeed (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) Same here, but please, be careful with hot baths lest the balance's upset, god forbid (ó3ò)
"So the other doesn't feel lonely" is such a sweet excuse for the second one! <3 It reminds me a childish attention to toys we all used to have, when you want to take everyone so as not to deprive or offend anyone (〃ω〃) As well as "not for usage but for company", so true!
Hmm, that's a good point indeed (ò_óˇ) Was Broomie created by Ink himself? (I hardly remember his story) Well, at least you can rely on the fact that Brommie's more or less alive since he (/they? :0) can move, react and express emotions ☆ Yay determination! (òwó)
Oh you're not rambling at all! I didn't even know such details about Converse (・∀・) Is the anime adaptation better or worse than the novel?
And thank you very-very much for your support! It does mean a lot to me ♡
Woah,,, Isn't poetry more like the opposite, inspiration, either in happiness or in pain, when the first words and lines come to mind by themselves, and then the work begins? How does it feel and work for you? *^* Cause that's how it is with the drawing, when the picture comes to life in the head, so clearly your hands just follow. But sometimes it's not that obvious, and you carry this fog for a long time until your hands find the answer themselves... Guess it turned out pretty vaguely xd but thank you for listening! <3
Take care ♡ *hugs*
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— #1 in my heart 🥵
warnings: cursing! (as expected) & friendly bullying!
masterlist | prev.
coco's note: making that music template proved hard than i thought it would 🤨 anyways hi! i hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I do :] also I changed my theme today!! i love it 🥺✋🏼
– the hand in the boys album cover is the waitress that helped them pick their bands name
– heeseung really did ask their manager if sunghoon could be kicked out because of what they like to call the "ramen disaster of 04/10"
– the titles tell a story.
– once y/n accidentally called sunoo sunshine and it stuck !
– jungwon truly just wanted to sleep 😭 poor guy was NOT ready for the bomb y/n dropped
– y/n and one of the fall boys may or may not know one another 🤔
taglist: @ghjasksdk @whatinthebts @simluvbot @ncityy04 @svnghoonie @hoonieclipsee @cha-raena @woniepop @love13tter @fairieweb @icywhatim @rosymerced @scented-morker
taglist is open! either send me an ask or message to be added! (do not comment! notification gets swept away by others and I will forget to add you if you comment)
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Actually you know what i'm just tired of repressing everything in general, i can't keep up with this shit. About a year ago I got a new blog just so that I could reblog pretty pictures and fake deep quotes and ignore my problems at least on here but it's never fucking worked and never will.
I found some comfort in being the most anonymous and insignificant person I could while everyone else seemed to be involved in something, no one knowing a single thing about me but holy shit if i can't be myself on fucking Tumblr where am i supposed to? In my abusive household? With the friends I can't even see because of fucking Covid?? C'mon.
This goes way beyond ace fucking discourse. This is about my childhood trauma, depression, the eating disorder that's slowly killing me, the fact that after so much pressure I fucking snapped and eventually went fucking insane. Because all I can think about lately is how much I want to hurt myself and how I wish someone would just end me in the most painful way possible and no I do not say this lightly.
It's all I can think about. I swear to every fucking god out there there's not a single aspect of myself I don't constantly think about getting rid of. I hate everything everything everything fucking everything. I hate being asexual, because discourse and being made fun of in high school and everything but also because i'll probably die alone and my own mother thinks i'm some sick freak and the community and the label itself is reduced to a fucking joke. I hate being non binary because what the fuck does that even mean, i'm not even sure if i believe in my own identity. I have no clear transition goal, i have some weird as fuck dysphoria that just makes me want to rip myself apart and thats it. But i hate every other aspect of my body as well because dysmorphia and anorexia are fun like that and i cant even see myself right in the mirror can you believe i don't even know what i look like? Because i don't.
And, Jesus. God. I think the time has come to finally aknowledge this shit, once and for all, and do something about it. Professional help is not an option, but what am I gonna do, live the rest of my life being this miserable and self-deprecating, until I inevitably kill myself, be it straightforward suicide or organ failure or whatever?
I have barely any energy left, there is very little left of me and who knows if it's ever coming back, so my first instinct would actually be to say yes, but, no. Fuck that. I never got to do so much of the shit I want - or at least wanted - to do, I don't know where I am finding the strength to say this but I don't want to give up just yet.
I never learned how to play the violin, to paint with watercolours. I'm far from fluent in French. I've never seen the northern lights, I've never been to a live concert, I have never visited the US nor have I ever been somewhere so far from the city lights that the whole galaxy becomes visible at night. I haven't seen most of my wishes come true. And who knows, maybe they're all pointless because life is short anyways and there's probably nothing after and we're so small it won't matter in the end, but do I really care whether all of this has a fucking point? I don't think I do. I was sitting on a tree branch that fell in the river the other day, enjoying the sound of the water running through the rocks and the wind blowing through the leaves and the clouds taking away the sunlight and giving it back every few seconds and I sure as hell wasn't worrying about my personal experiences not leaving a single dent in the big scheme of things.
So yeah. This is messy and pathetic and probably barely makes sense but guess who gives a fuck? Not me! I'm at fucking rock bottom and I feel like I'm scraping the floor with my bare, bleeding hands, so there's literally nothing anyone could think or say that would make me feel any worse.
I'm done. I'm done giving a fuck. I don't care what people think of whatever I do or whoever I am because I'm so. Fucking. Done.
I'm sorry to the 40-something actual people who follow me and will have to see this sad chunk of depression on their dashboard, I just had to let it out, vent somewhere. I used to write this kind of shit on paper and burn it, but I guess I wanted it to feel a bit more real, this time.
Also I guess the blog itself is gonna change pretty soon, I want to reblog some actual content and even make my own so yeah, I'll see what to do with that. I was thinking about making several side blogs for different topics but uh nah, keeping stuff separate never worked for me. It's gonna be an unorganised mess apart from tags but I only seem to thrive in motherfucking chaos, so.
Anyways it's 2am and I'm tired and pissed off and I'm just done crying so I think I'll go make myself some tea to calm down and then seriously think about what to do with my life, who I am and some shit like that.
Every day I find it harder and harder to get out of bed, this will sound so cringey and ridiculous but it's taking me all the strength I have left to actually drag my butt out of it, I better come up with some kind of plan for the future as long as I can physically take to. It will inevitably get bad again, probably soon, but at least, this time I'll be prepared for what comes after, if I manage to survive it.