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#anyway be kind and keep in mind that all the information i have is solely from the TV show cause i have no access
aicosu · 7 months
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Guys, I hate to do this.
Any of you who know me in any circle know that I'm a very professional, very private lady who hates any sort of disc horse breeds that might give me a headache. But this one is important, and my goal here is the integrity and reputation of artists.
For my credentials: I have been a part of five zines in the past. Two I moderated, and one I ran, created, laid out, printed, and shipped in its entirety.
So anyway:
HELLCHEER ZINE BULLSHIT
I joined Hellcheer and the Kindred Freaks Zine very late. Well, after sign ups, check-ins, etc. I saw it was happening in april-ish and shot a DM to the twitter to join. I did both a full art page and a cosplay page.
At the time, the server was quiet but kind. We got updates on the number of orders and books being made.
@Lawless is the runner of the Zine. They created and organized it. They are in charge of the main emails, the selling website, the orders, the shipping, and the funds. (To be clear, this level of sole responsibility is not ABNORMAL in a zine. And is not always an issue.)
@Valerie is the 'social media' mod. They are in charge of managing announcements and answering questions on Twitter and Tumblr. Please keep in mind: No one wants anything but a fast and easy recovery for both Lawless and their mother. Medical emergencies, heck—LIFE happens. It's always okay to put a hiatus on anything, even product with money, in order to take care of yourself and family. Every single contributor only wants them to be clear in what they need and how we can help.
So lets break down what's happening.
Back in May, Lawless went radio silent on the status of books and merch coming in. Another contributor and I, @Toguchin, start dming Lawless to make sure everything is on track. They come back after a week and apologize for being MIA, explaining that their mom got sick. We thank them for all their hard work and wish them and their mom well.
On July 15th, after contributors and customers inquire on delays to meeting the announced shipping deadline, Lawless makes a twitter post saying shipping has started and contributor copies will be happening. They proceeded to go MIA from the server discord and have been since.
The following week, contributors and customers discover that shipping HAS NOT started. Labels have been created and printed, but nothing appears to be in transit at all.
Toguchin and I started getting reached out to by customers worrying their packages are lost. We report this to the zine server to NO RESPONSE. Except @Ashlee, the discord mod who also has heard nothing.
July 20th to 22nd with customers complaining and theorizing a scam in mind; Toguchin and I propose that PDFs be given out to assure and apologize for delays.
We as a server discover a few things: 1. We cannot access the list of buyers at all in order to email apology zines because Lawless did not share the account information with anyone. 2. We cannot access the main email for the same reason. 3. Valerie, the social media mod, deleted discord and distanced themselves from the Hellcheer fandom and has not been checking the Twitter or tumblr, or discord notifications since May.
Ashlee and Ichikun contact Valerie to sign on.
I made a new email and said fuck it, we need to do something to assuage fears, let them send receipts to honor their zines. Valerie didn't know what to post or say or how to answer everyone, so I gave them a copy paste.
Still no words from Lawless but hoping for the best knowing the have a medical emergency, Ashlee and I begin answering the new email for PDFs, but cant help people change addresses or give them any update!!!
Throughout the weeks mods and contributors ping Lawless constantly asking if they need any help! Any help at all, answering emails, changing order addresses, heck a few of us ask if we can pick up the books and packages and ship stuff for them so they can hands off the project and take care of their mom. No response.
We send message after message saying if Lawless can share picture proof, that would be great cause scam theories and chargebacks are starting. BUT ALSO, we let Lawless know we and customers will ABSOLUTELY UNDERSTAND delays if they just communicate it. That if they post in server and on Twitter that shipping needs to wait a month or two, no one will mind. No responses.
July 31, Lawless makes a Twitter update with comments disabled that they are shipping ALL packages that monday with a picture of packages. They also call Valerie privately and tell the issue that USPS refuses to pick up shipments from Lawless has, and they can't leave their mothers side from the post office. They also claim they can only deliver ten packages at a time at the post when they go. *USPS has no such rules. Me and other mutuals who run shops have never had such a problem.
A week later, we realize that customers and our packages are still not in transit. Labels printed only. Most of us assume all packages are just label printed and sitting at Lawless' house.
We beg for updates from Valerie or Lawless. Valerie doubles down on Lawless old reasonings and also officially goes MIA until present day.
Throughout August, USA packages get delivered. A few more updates are made straight to Twitter and Tumblr with comments off. Radio silence in server.
As packages arrive, we all become aware from people's posts and pictures that random Stranger Things Art Stickers are included. No credit to any artist is given? No contributor is responsible for this art. These are suspected to be BOUGHT from Amazon. STOLEN arts amazon sellers resell in packs. NO contributor is okay with this!!! Valerie responds with no response at all.
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As of now:
No response to missing digital copies. Ashlee and I cannot give out any without receipts because we have no access to buyers list. Nor can we answer missing packages inquiries cause we have no info. International packages unaccounted for. SCRUNCHIES FREE OR OTHERWISE UNACCOUNTED FOR. Zero word on contributor copies. Zero word on donation status. Zero word on generated profit or book and shipping cost. No way to verify funds at all. No word from Lawless to contributors since July 15. From Valerie since the 31st.
Some notes:
Turning off twitter comments was NEVER what any one of us wanted. A ZINE LAYOUT was never shared. So until people had them in hand or in PDF none of us realized that the credits DO NOT POINT TO ANY SOCIAL MEDIA. All of our usernames are handle-less? This was extremely disappointing. This one matters to me: Our FanEdit artist was not aware their work was not getting a full page. Again no pre-layout was shared. So their work is tiny and in the margins of the front and back. That's not okay. All of us wanted to help in any way we could. NONE of us doubt Lawless intentions or emergencies. But lying, misleading, non-communicating and turning off comments are all things we did not consent to. All of us only wanted a cordial, honest response. None of us actually cared about delays as much as we did communications. There has been many noticeable times Lawless has been online, posting privately or otherwise, even active on Discord and has not reached out.
Why make a post:
Customers should know contributors fought for them. That we did everything we could and our reputation as artists in the fandom shouldn't be tarnished cause two creators decided to disappear. Contributors should get their copies. Many of us BOUGHT bundles. I've been in five zines and every single one gave out free contributor copies WITH merch!!
I'm also attaching all server screenshots for integrity. I'm in half a mind to release the zine PDF publicly, for free, for everyone at this point. I personally think it's only fair since many are still missing just that. But I do not want to insult anyone who paid for just the PDF regardless of the potential contribution to charity. But it's really up to customers, not me.
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viridianriver · 9 months
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Cybersecurity: The Call Is Coming From Inside The House
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I've been getting into cybersecurity lately, and it's crazy how most of the cybersecurity news misses what I believe is the biggest threat.
All of the mainstream advice is protecting you against an external hacker. Improve your passwords. Keep your software updated. Beware third party access to your accounts.
But working in this field? I think the cases where the privacy violations aren't coming from some hacker, but instead from the very company that sold you the thing? They're a much bigger risk.
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And it's pervasive. More pervasive than you know - though I'm going to stick to publicly available information because I don't need my goddamn tumblr showing up in court lol.
And it's honestly fuckin scary - imagine the guy in your field who's sexually harassing and stalking you - then imagine he's bragging about having access to this kind of thing, and using it to spy on people he knows. Anyway, I don't have to imagine what that'd be like, with the joys of ~being a woman in tech~
But venting about my career aside, let's get to the facts.
Ring Cameras & Other Home Security Cameras - Case Study
I'm going to let the FTC's May 2023 lawsuit against Ring, owned by Amazon since 2018, speak for itself here. (PDF source)
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Yikes. Well, maybe you're thinking, "But my brand of camera is different, right?"
Let me just reccomend some additional reading. And keep in mind, these are just the companies someone's whistleblown on or sued, and is not a complete list. [ADT] [Logitech] [Eufy] [Verkada]
Well maybe you're thinking, "I don't have any cameras!" Okay, but do your neighbors? Well, if they do, I have another legal document on Amazon's Ring for you: (PDF Source)
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Amazon / Ring (Allegedly) building up a facial recognition database is especially sketchy if you've done any reading about what these companies share with law enforcement, without due process.
Yep, it's not just some stank-ass tech bro who could be watching you at home without your knowledge, the police could be too.
Other "Smart" Devices
Ok, let's say you live in the woods, you don't have any cameras, and you don't have any neighbors.
Ever ridden in a tesla or car with interior cameras? What about been near a roomba or robotic vacuum? Ever taken a test online? Went inside a Walmart? Starbucks? Walgreens? Kohls? Macys? Home Depot? 7-11?
You've probably either been filmed somewhere where Creepy Kyle can go snooping through it, or been entered into a facial recognition database, if you said yes to any if that.
Hell, I could make another longpost on any of the above links, if anyone's interested. Wild shit in all of them.
So WTF can I do?
Well, knowledge is power, right?
Just know that if...
A US-based company sells or provides a device with cameras
That device has internet connectivity / cloud services
That company isn't extremely transparent (i.e. Using open-source software) about what specific technical measures they put in place to prevent the Creepy Kyle problem of employees being able to spy on you?
That company isn't wholly transparent about its data-sharing or data-protections around law enforcement?
It's a serious privacy risk. Potentially even a personal safety risk, if you have the misfortune of knowing a creepy tech bro (or several). So if I were you? I'd get rid of anything "Smart" from your home!
But honestly - that's hard to do! Like I said, it's not always tech you have the option of not buying, sometimes it's a required service. Or in a public place.
So if you really want to change things? Get politically active - push for strengthened data security and privacy measures on tech companies. Because right now, in the US, we need more!!
And I'm not suggesting anything illegal, but stickers are cheap, and used gum is cheaper ;)
legal disclaimer below the cut.
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the text
belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the
author's employer, organization, committee or other group
or individual.
This text is for entertainment purposes only, and is not
meant to be referenced for legal, business, or investment
purposes.
This text is based on publically available information
sources may contain factual errors. The analysis provided
in this text may contain factual errors, miscalculations, or
misunderstandings.
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archiveikemen · 1 month
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『 The Past Records 』 Collection Event: Chapter 3
Jude Jazza & Ellis Twilight
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This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.
❥・• Warnings and FAQ
Roger: Whatever I know?
Harrison: Or should I say, why didn't you tell us from the start that you knew the two of them since before they joined Crown?
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Roger: Because no one asked.
Harrison: YOU…
Roger: Besides, it’s not as if I’m close friends with them.
Roger: I can’t say for certain whether they’re trustworthy or not.
Harrison: … Say, what kind of relationship did you have with them?
Roger: We’re just doctor and patient. Jude has a history of weak bronchi in his lungs.
Roger: My old man’s pretty good, so Jude occasionally went to his clinic for checkups.
Roger: When he was still his patient, we only knew each other by face…
Roger: There was one night where he came in for a knife stab wound. Instead of to my old man's clinic, he came to me.
Harrison: … Elaborate on the stabbing?
Roger: All I know is that he got stabbed out of spite.
– Flashback Start –
Jude: I got myself into this. Don’t ask any questions, I’m not answering any.
Roger: Oh really? Geez, you came to me instead of my old man just because you don’t want the news of your injury to be known to the public?
Jude: Don’t you want a lab rat to practise your medical skills on?
Jude: You can go ahead without a licence.
Jude: In return for that, you'll be quiet about treating me so that your father’s clinic’s reputation won’t be tarnished.
Roger: That benefits both of us. Sounds good to me.
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Ellis: … Can you treat him, Roger?
Roger: Yeah, don’t worry about it. He’s a valuable test subject, I won’t let him die so easily.
Ellis: That’s good to hear. It’d be troublesome if he were to die now.
Roger: That’s some way to say it. Then when is a good time for him to die?
Ellis: At the happiest moment of his life… I guess?
Roger: Heh. Keep coming in with wounds like this one, and that moment will just get farther and farther away from him.
Jude: Tch, you stuck the needle in the wrong spot, you quack!
– Flashback End –
Harrison: … You were treating him before you became a licensed medical practitioner?
Roger: Haha. It’s way past the legal timeframe to prosecute me now.
Harrison: What else do you know?
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Roger: Ah? Let me think… Jude’s an early bird, and Ellis can eat absolutely anything. That sort of information?
Harrison: Not that.
Roger: Jude can keep up with my drinking pace, but Ellis easily gets drunk.
Harrison: Not that either… I’m getting too much unnecessary profile information of two people stuffed into my head.
Roger: … I already mentioned earlier about their level of trustworthiness.
Roger: The two of them are hiding some things from me too. I heard that they’re involved in some sort of very expensive research project.
Roger: Well, even though their level of trustworthiness is still uncertain, I believe they wouldn't involve themselves in foolish matters.
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Roger: Was that helpful?
Harrison: … More or less. At least you didn’t lie in any of the information you gave.
Roger: You’re welcome.
Liam: Found you!
Harrison: Mm, … Oh, it’s you. How did you know I’m here?
Liam: Will told me. You’re doing your proofreading work at a cafe?
Harrison: The stuff about the reports flood my mind when I’m at the castle, I need to catch a break from them.
Liam: Ahaha, so I’ll make you think about them again if I give you my report now?
Harrison: It’s fine. I was losing my focus anyway… and you intentionally chose this moment to approach me, didn't you?
Harrison: So, what is it?
Liam: Don’t mind if I do. Hmm, I’ll start with the information I got from Jude~
Liam: Did you know? Jude was enrolled into a public school! He got in through the recommendation of a doctor. Or was it a scholar?
Liam: Surprising, right? Being surrounded by so many children from aristocratic backgrounds must've been tough for him… I wish I could see that for myself.
Liam: Next up is what I heard from Ellis. He said that he didn’t go to school.
Liam: His father was a teacher at a church, but they’ve been separated for a long time.
Liam: … Ah, Ellis and I made plans to go ice skating by the lake too.
Harrison: Oh, that's good information. … How did you manage to talk to them? You’ve been out of the castle for the last two days.
Liam: I made myself invisible and tailed them, observed their every move and usual routes for a few days, then made sure that we'd meet “coincidentally”.
Harrison: … You went that far?
Liam: I just thought it’d make you happy. Also, it’s cat instinct to be curious, so my curiosity simply got the better of me.
Liam: I tailed them and spoke to them directly, but I still think it’s hard for me to say “I can trust them!” confidently.
Liam: I feel like… there’s something missing that's preventing me from making a solid decision.
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Harrison: … That face. You’re up to something.
Liam: As expected from my partner in crime! You’re so quick to catch on.
Liam: Shall I put the two through a little test?
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ellisgirl · 7 months
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Jude Jazza & Ellis Twilight — Villains Want to Embarrass Little Robin Story Event
Chapter 1
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I do not own any contents of Ikemen Villains. This story being uploaded in this blog belongs solely to CYBIRD. Please support them by downloading their games and buying their stories. Both English and Japanese are not my mother tongue languages, please keep in mind that there will be mistakes and added words for my own preferences. I translate for my personal entertainment and for my own practice only.
Victor: "Kate...... Will you be Her Majesty the Queen?"
Kate: "......It's a mission. Please tell me your story."
Victor: "Oh, how fast you're talking about! To your remarkable growth as a Fairy Tale Master I... I... I...Nngh——!”
Victor: "Aside from the feeling, that's right, it's a mission.”
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Victor: "The American ambassador is coming. According to prior information, he was plotting an assassination."
Kate: "It's really important, isn't it... so I'm her double?"
Victor: "Yes. Jude and Ellis are going to be your bodyguards."
Kate: "Why those two...?!”
(Putting aside Ellis, Mr. Jude seems to be reluctant, I can hear him saying, "It's my time to read.")
Victor: "They used to being on the wrong side of a knife, and even if the ambassador carries out the assassination, the two of them will make it looks good!"
(.....It sure looks like they're going to do a good job of fighting it off....)
Kate: "What in the world do I have to do as Her Majesty?"
Victor: "We will be presented with gifts, and we will dine with them at a dinner party.
Victor: “Basically, you just have to accept the gifts gratefully.”
Victor: “Since the ministers on our side are also with us, it’s okay to basically leave difficult matters to them.”
Kate: "The point is, I just have to dress up as Her Majesty the Queen and sit down... Is that what you mean?”
Victor: "That's right! Her Majesty is someone who prefers tranquility, so I don't mind if you don’t say a word."
Victor: “I'll have them both follow up nicely, since you probably don't feel comfortable with your voice in the first place."
Victor: “It pains me to ask you to be the argument, but......I can only ask you because you know what's going on."
Victor: “I'd like to see you do it.”
(This is also proof that he is trusted me as a Fairy Tale Master. Besides, Her Majesty's life is at stake)
Kate: "Yes, I'll do my best."
(Mr. Jude is a sadist who enjoys torturing people.)
(I’m in debt to him, but I don't know what will be required at the end, so I can't do it coarsely.)
(Ellis is very kind and will do anything to make people happy, but......)
("anything" is too much, so you have to be careful not to be too spoiled.)
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(Anyway, in order to finish this mission peacefully and safely, I will fulfill my duty as Her Majesty's substitute, that’s all)
Kate: "Victor, could you tell me about some of His Majesty's gestures? Habits and other characteristics?"
Victor: “…..”
Victor: "Of course, it's fine. I'll tell you everything I know."
After taking acting lessons from Victor, I was stuck in the library.
The royal family, the faces and names of ministers, the history of Britain and the United States. I gained some knowledge I wish I could, but...
(In the end, the more I studied, the more despair I felt just by facing the reality that I was full of things I didn't know...)
She wears a crown, a veil that covers to the bottom, shoes that disguise her height, and a luxurious dress,
I already overwhelmed by a sense of defeat,
Jude: "You fell asleep in the library, you mediocre."
Ellis: "I'm glad you didn't catch a cold."
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Kate: “……!”
Mr. Jude and Ellis, who were on either side of me, smiled as if they had seen through my thoughts.
Kate: “I was wondering who might have been covered me with a blanket without my knowing it....... Was it the two of you?”
Ellis: "Yeah, Miss Kate, you looked cold.”
Kate: "Thank you, Ellis."
Ellis: “Jude was pushing Miss Kate, who was about to slip off your desk, back onto the desk.... by his knees."
Jude: "Because you got in the way."
Kate: "To kick a sleeping lady in the foot…..”
Jude: "Girls who are calling themselves Sleeping Beauty in the library make me laugh."
Jude: “You must have worked this little brain of yours in a mediocre's way, right? Great, great"
Ellis: “Yeah. It's so great that you're studying to impersonate Her Majesty."
The former is completely ironic, the latter is pure praise.
What kind of expression should I make, my facial muscles are confused.
(and... anyway)
Kate: "I look forward to working with you for the next two days."
Jude: “A decoy is someone who is willing to die in place of someone else.”
Jude: "...Even if you die, as long as I can get rid of the assassin, that's fine, so it's an easy win."
Ellis: “Don't worry, I'll take good care of you."
Ellis: "I don't know much about politics or diplomacy, but I'm good at reading the signs that knives and bullets are coming."
Ellis: "I'll do my best to support you so that you don't suffer.”
Kate: "Wow... I'll do my best, too."
If Mr. Jude is a spice that makes your tongue ache with pain, Ellis is a sweet sugar that has been boiled down to a sludge.
When I'm sandwiched between two extreme people, I don't have time to calm down.
(I wonder why Ellis works for Mr. Jude.)
(Mr. Jude isn't the type to attract people, but he keeps Ellis nearby.)
I remember hearing somewhere that the two of them are together because they have a contract.
(What kind of contract......?)
Jude: “A mediocre as queen is going to be ousted soon.”
Kate: “Even Mr. Jude, with that attitude and way of speaking, would you be able to act as Her Majesty’s bodyguard?”
Ellis: “Jude is more proper in these public appearances than you'd think."
Jude: "I don't know about you, but this guy is dangerous."
Kate: "What's wrong with Ellis.....?”
Ellis: "Well, what is it?"
Jude: "You'll know in the meantime."
(Are you saying that Ellis can't be a better escort than you? .....I have a feeling it's the other way around.)
Ellis: ".....Hey, Jude, Miss Kate."
Jude: “Aah?”
Kate: "What is it?"
Ellis: "I have one suggestion—“
Ellis: "If you can complete the mission without revealing your true identity, we'll ask each other for one favour. What do you think?"
(When the mission is complete, will you listen to my request?)
Jude: "What a shitty proposal."
Ellis: "I've been thinking about how Kate can enjoy the mission."
Ellis: "How about......?”
(Ellis, .....I'm so glad you thought of that.)
From this morning, I realised that my feelings were actually sinking due to the weight of the crown.
(.....Ellis really looks after people well.)
Kate: "Thank you very much, Ellis. Let's do that!"
Ellis: "Fufu, Deal."
(......Huh? But we ask for each other’s “requests”..... I mean...)
(By listening to Mr. Jude and Ellis’s requests...)
Jude: "......Well, good luck. I'll be thinking about what I'm going to "ask" you to do while I watch your abomination."
Ellis: "I will also think of a “request” that will make you happy..."
With a conflicting smile, my facial muscles were confused again.
———
Chamberlain: “U.S. Ambassador Abel Edmond has arrived.”
The chamberlain declares loudly, and the door of the audience room opens slowly.
(......It's finally time.)
Mr. Jude and Ellis are waiting behind.
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"Why does Her Majesty send men from nowhere to wait on us instead of her guards?" I could hear the ministers whispering as we entered the hall.
(Once Mr. Jude glared at me, the nagging stopped suddenly.)
(When Ellis smiled, the awkward gazes also decreased.)
(As long as the two of them are with you, there's no danger to your life...It's okay.)
Straighten your back, straighten your posture, and adjust your habitation as Victor taught you.
(I will focus on acting like Her Majesty in the eyes of the ambassador who is about to come.)
Abel: “I am extremely humbled by the honor of having an audience with you, Her Majesty the Queen!”
The ambassador who appeared was a man with sparkling white teeth. A smile as bright as the sun.
(Wow... You're more frank than I thought.)
In response to his salute, I nodded quietly so as not to lose my dignity.
Ellis: “You look good."
Jude: "It's a noisy face even if you keep silent."
(Please don't make me laugh!)
With the background music of the whispered impressions expressed simply by the two men standing behind me, Mr. Abel enthusiastically introduced the offerings.
(Even through the veil, they look dazzling.......)
Once again, I am overwhelmed by the treasure that makes me feel the majesty of Her Majesty the Queen.
Abel: "And this is one of the rarest and most colorful birds in the world. It's even more beautiful with its wings spread."
When Mr. Abel pulled out a large parrot-like bird from the cage,
Abel: “Come on, let’s take a look!?”
The parrot suddenly lifted its head and flew away from Abel's hand.
(They're coming this way!?)
Jude & Ellis: “——!”
Masterlist
Chapter 1 >> Chapter 2 >> Premium End >> Epilogue
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namchyoon · 2 years
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“We're just doing what we have always done. I mean, when did we ever do anything to get acknowledgement from anyone? It's not like people acknowledged us then, either. We make something meaningful and share it with people, whether it be through music or concerts. That's the reason why we started doing this. We wish to keep our energy focused on that reason. I also personally don't check people's reactions online as much as I used to before. So... yeah. I think I'll continue to not talk about any of those kinds of things in the future. I want to use that time to focus on personal development and work on becoming a better person. That's all. Anyway, I hope you keep that in mind. We're going to work even harder. 
They say there's only a hair's difference between a "fan" and an "anti". Sometimes antis, or haters, know more information than fans do, *laughs* since hating something also takes a great deal of energy. So, well. If we just keep working and do our thing, they might become our fans, who knows. If that happens, great, and if not, it's whatever. I talked about this with the members too. In terms of what's to come from now on, I've been thinking—actually, these days, what I've been thinking about continuously is that we should put ourselves back to the starting point of our journey. And get more actively involved in our album-making process & speak our voices. I'm almost 30 now. I've been having a lot of thoughts on my mind about how to carry on forward. I suppose I should probably talk more about this and that, since I might be the sole person thinking this way. I'm going to keep thinking about the things I can do and keep doing more... *sighs* I'll be working hard.”
(transl. seoulocello)
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itsclydebitches · 1 year
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Hi, I stopped watching RWBY midway through volume 5 and basically only keep up with it through your blog which has made volume 9 quite a trip. Anyway, I've got to ask what the fuck is going on in episode 9? The team is happy about Ruby drinking the tea???
I literally cannot imagine being you right now lol. Experiencing RWBY solely through this blog?? Absolutely wild concept. How does it feel being blindsided on a weekly basis? XD
But to actually answer your question... yes? The tea is heavily framed as a suicide attempt, given that Ruby drinks it after a physical and psychological beating from Neo, with the intent of not being Ruby Rose anymore, after Neo herself entices her with it because, as we know, she wants revenge on Ruby for (in her mind) killing Roman. There’s no version of Episode 8 in which this is framed as a positive action. However, at the same time the show has been pushing the idea that Ascension (AKA what Ruby has done by drinking the tea) is ultimately a good thing; a way for those who have fulfilled their purpose to finally move on and achieve something new. Now, however harmful a message that might be from our perspective, the show has made it clear that this is natural for an Afteran, so I could sort of buy it as a cultural difference...
Provided the show had explained how losing your memories/even your physical body isn’t a "real" kind of death.
If we hadn’t seen a character dragged off against their will, forced to Ascend despite clearly being opposed to the idea.
If our “best” version of the journey didn’t come from the Paper Pleasers, a group with cult-like undertones that are so obsessed with Ascension they orchestrate daily attempts at physical harm/suicide in order to achieve it.
If any one of the characters had bothered to consider whether this would be good for Ruby, a human who does not come from this world, especially after it’s explicitly pointed out that she shouldn’t be able to Ascend.
If any one of the characters had considered that Ruby doesn't have a defined purpose that she has completed and thus has no need to undergo the Be Assigned a New Purpose Ritual.
And if most of this information hadn’t come from the Cat, a manipulative (according to the heroes) party later revealed to be a Super Duper Evil Villain.
So even within the realm of ‘This is a good thing, just a cultural difference!’ there is a LOT of negative implications that the story hasn’t bothered to unpack. But here, in Episode 9, the group continues to ignore all of it. They see that the Paper Pleasers, after drowning themselves, have come back as the Genial Gems. Does it matter that they had to undergo such a horrific event in order to achieve that upgrade? No. Does it matter that they no longer remember Jaune, a friend who lived with them for years? No. Does it matter that they found Ruby beaten and bloody, being given the tea by Neo while a fake Roman talks about how the world would be better off without her, after she ran from them all post-meltdown because she (rightly) believes that no one cares about her mental health? No! All that matters is that the Gems came back “better” - with “better” defined as now being impervious to water and fire - so that means Ruby will definitely come back “better” too. Hurrah!
The characters don’t care about the horrors that it took to get Ruby to this place, or that she committed magical suicide in front of them, or that Neo helped orchestrate all this, or that Little was lying dead in front of her. All they care about is how this was supposedly Ruby’s “choice” and if she doesn’t come back as the same Ruby they knew, that can only be a good thing because - again - she chose to do this.
(I need to make a separate post on how no, this is not a choice in the way RWBY is framing it. There's a reason why we discuss depression as an illness. You don't "choose" it any more than you choose to die of cancer.)
I can’t emphasize enough that the message of Episode 9 couched in metaphor is, “Yes, if you hate yourself dying is an option. Agency is the most important thing, so if someone wants to die, you need to let them die and accept that fighting for them is selfish (remember Penny?). Lucky for the heroes, they exist in a magical world where death has a reset button, so choosing suicide is an even smarter choice because then you can reflect on that choice and possibly come back with a cool upgrade!”
Yang has one (1) moment where she freaks a little after seeing Ruby encased in the tree, but Blake, Weiss, and Jaune talk her down because remember Yang, your sister chose this. It’s a good thing.
The rest of the episode is this vibe. Behold, the team literal minutes after watching a psychologically terrorized, physically beaten Ruby try to kill herself:
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an-aroaces-harem · 11 days
Text
Ivy Chapter 12
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DISCLAIMER: I just deepl and google translated my way through this because I wanted to know what’s going on, so there are definitely mistakes but I believe I managed the general gist of the story. Anyway, it’s just a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes. Morganatic Idol belongs to Cybird and ABC Frontier, Inc.
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The day after the show. When I arrived at work, the curious stares of the employees were waiting for me.
Female Employee 1: I wonder why she was invited to Cher d'Ou Miti yesterday.
Female Employee 2: Who invited her? Is there some kind of mistake?
I hear voices whipering things like these.
(I don't feel comfortable, but I left the place like that way, so I guess it's all right ...)
It's 'business as usual' if you just whisper things like that ...
Rina: Good morning, Yamauchi-san.
Yamauchi Kota: Ah, umm, morning ...
He turns around and slips away.
(I wonder what's going on? I declined the invitation to dinner ... but I feel like that's too curt.)
And then. A message arrived on my phone. I gasped at the name of the person on the display.
(Ivy-san!)
We exchanged contact information last night and he messaged me as soon as possible.
I was thrilled and opened my messaging app.
On the way home from work that day.
Rina: Ivy-san! Sorry to keep you waiting.
When I went to the recording studio, I was greeted by Ivy-san with a big smile on his face.
Ivy: Thank you for your hard work, Kawanaga-san. I'm sorry for having you come all the way back from work to get the materials.
Rina: It's okay. I can stop by here after work. Besides ...
Ivy: Hm?
Rina: Ah, no, it's nothing.
(... I'm so happy to have received your message and to be able to meet you like this ...)
(As expected, I'm too embarrassed to tell you.)
I want to hide my feelings of love, but when Ivy-san stares at me, I feel like speaking out my honest feelings.
(I have to be careful ...)
Rina: Um, by the way ... have you been working here all day?
Ivy: I had a shoot in the morning, but then I was holed up in here for the rest of the day.
Ivy: Actually ... the new song isn't finished yet.
Ivy: We suddenly changed the melody line, so about half of it had to be remade.
Rina: That sounds like a lot of work ... I'm impressed that you can handle it, Ivy-san.
Ivy: It's not as much of an accomplishment as it sounds. I'm sure it happens to everyone who composes music.
Ivy: Trends change quickly these days, so we have to be sensitive to them.
(So you're saying you're going to watch what's going on in the world and respond flexibly? That's really pro ...)
I respect him, but I also worry about him.
Rina: So are you going to be here all night again tonight?
Ivy: No, I'll be home before the date changes. Tomorrow, I have a lesson at seven.
Ivy: Ah, if you don't mind, would you like to have dinner with me? I want to take a little break.
Rina: Are you sure?
Ivy: Ah, I'm sorry, but if you could wait just a little bit ...
... when we were talking about those things, someone came into the studio.
Sakura Eito: ... Ivy, you here?
Sakura-san and an unknown middle-aged man entered the room.
Arai Takeshi: It's been a while.
Ivy-san's eyes widened and his body stiffened.
Ivy: Arai-san ... why are you here?
Arai Takeshi: Why don't you just say hello? Shouldn't you come and see an old friend?
Ivy: It's not like that. I was just surprised because it came so suddenly.
Arai Takeshi: Don't worry about the details. I'm going to have a drink with Eito now. You should come too.
Arai Takeshi: Let's have a good old talk after all these years.
Sakura Eito: I told him no because you are busy, Ivy, but he insisted ...
Ivy: ... as usual.
The pushy man makes Ivy and Sakura let out a sigh.
(What kind of relationship do they have?)
I couldn't keep up with the conversation, and I was at a loss.
Ivy: ... Kawanaga-san, sorry. Can we have dinner some other time? I'm really sorry I just asked you out.
Rina: Yes, of course.
Following Ivy-san's gaze, the man turned towards me the first time.
Arai Takeshi: Who's this girl?
I flinch for a moment at the gleam in his eyes.
Rina: Um, I'm ...
Ivy: She's a staff member in our office, and she's my support. She helps me with my work.
Ivy-san, who intervened, answered that.
Arai Takeshi: Heh, a staff who supports. Then you should come with us.
Rina: Eh!?
Sakura Eito: Wait a minute. Why would you ...?
Ivy: This has nothing to do with her.
Arai Takeshi: The more people, the more exciting it will be. Besides, if you're a member of the office staff, how can you say she's not involved?
Arai Takeshi: Come on, let's get out of here!
... In the end, he didn't listen to us at all and forced us out.
At the club we were brought to, the man ... Arai-san called out to the staff.
We were immediately ushered into the VIP room and champagne was brought to us.
Arai Takeshi: I used to come here with you guys. Remember?
Sakura Eito: Of course, I remember.
Arai-san is from the entertainment agency 'Egret' and was a producer when the two of them were R2R.
(That's why he has known Ivy-san and Sakura-san for so long.)
(But he's a bit of a quirky person. I'd say he's trying to be bossy ...)
While Arai-san is smiling broadly, Ivy-san and Sakura-san seem to be treating him in a matter-of-fact matter.
Arai Takeshi: I was surprised when they suddenly announced they were breaking up R2R, given how popular it was.
Arai Takeshi: And I was even more surprised that Eito later went out out on his own and set up his own entertainment agency.
Arai Takeshi: I thought it would go under soon anyway, but I didn't realize how big exe would get until this. That's a big deal!
Sakura Eito: Yes, thanks to you.
Arai Takeshi: But I didn't expect you to take Ivy with you.
Arai Takeshi: Are you all right? I hope you're not having Eito take care of you again like you did in the past.
Arai Takeshi: If you had stuck to your guns, R2R could have been higher even back then.
(Please don't say it like that ...)
I was appalled by the horrible words. But Ivy-san ...
Ivy: ... Yeah, you are right.
I just listen quietly.
Arai Takeshi: I don't know how Eito got the nerve to put Ivy in exe.
Sakura Eito: His ability is certain. He used to do well in the past, too.
Arai Takeshi: Not as much as you did.
... Arai-san then went on to say many things about the old Ivy-san.
Arai Takeshi: All of the songs that Ivy wrote were for japanese youths. They're not suitable for the world.
Arai Takeshi: That's probably why R2R didn't sell well overseas
Sakura Eito: I had the same lack of ability. So now I'm making use of my experience.
Ivy: ...
Sakura-san and Ivy-san were adults.
Sakura-san also has a history of starting a competing company independently from his office.
That's why, considering the horizontal connections in the industry, he may not be able to retort strongly.
(Even so, this is terrible ...)
Ivy: ...
Ivy-san is listening silently, but his expression is getting darker and darker.
Arai Takeshi: All of the songs of exe are just a bunch of frivolous melodies that are all about trends.
Arai Takeshi: The load is too much for Ivy.
... As soon as I heard those words, a feeling that welled up from deep within my chest pushed the words out of my mouth.
Rina: That's not ... true.
Ivy: !
Rina: I think the songs you write are wonderful, even back in the R2R days.
Rina: We need Ivy-san and the songs he writes for exe.
I said strongly, and all three of them looked at me in surprise.
Ivy: Kawanaga-san ...
Arai Takeshi: What? You're just a staff member, and you're back-talking to me?
Rina: ... I-I' sorry, but ...
(I'm scared ... But, I don't want to deny what I just said.)
Sakura Eito: Well, well. Don't be so angry with her.
Arai Takeshi: Eito, how are you training your staff?
Sakura Eito: I'm sorry. She's a new staff member.
Arai Takeshi: It's hot ... I don't feel well. I need another drink.
Arai-san grumbled and place a shot glass in front of me as he ordered tequila from the staff.
Rina: !?
Arai Takeshi: Drink.
Arai-san stares at me and pours out a lapping of highly aromatic sake.
(I'm so angry ... What should I do, I might collapse if I drink this stuff.)
Rina: I-I'm sorry ... I'm not much of a drinker.
Arai Takeshi: Just drink. Or can't the staff at Aerolight Productions drink my booze?
Sakaru Eito: Arai-san, that's a bit ...
(Oh no. If I refuse, will it cause a stir in the office?)
It is unreasonable but it is undeniable considering how forceful Arai-san is.
Rina: ... Okay.
I was ready to reach for my glass ... but Ivy-san stopped me. I was too late.
Ivy: You don't have to do that.
Rina: Ivy-san ...
He turns to Arai-san as if to defend me and firmly states.
Ivy: Please don't get involved with her. Forcing her to drink alcohol like that is a bit of an anachronism.
He seemed surprised not only at me but also at Arai-san's completely different tone from the one he had been quietly listening to.
Arai Takeshi: It's rare to hear you speak so harshly.
Ivy: She's my support. I can't just stand by and watch.
Sakura Eito: I would like to ask you to do the same. It would be terrible if that girl falls over.
Arai Takeshi: You must have a lot of love for your staff.
Arai Takeshi: Well, that's fine. If you insist so much, you drink instead.
Ivy: I understand.
As soon as he said that, Ivy-san picked up the shot glass that was placed in front of me and drank it all up at once.
Ivy: ... Are you satisfied now?
Arai Takeshi: That's a good drink!
Laughing, Arai-san poured drink after drink in Ivy-san's shot glass.
Ivy-san drinks it all up as he is made to do ...
Sakura Eito: Arai-san, you are indeed reckless. I'll drink it for you.
Ivy: Eito is not good with alcohol, so don't push yourself. I'll be fine.
Ivy-san dismisses Sakura-san's words of concern.
Rina: Ivy-san, that's enough. I'll take it.
I said that and tried to touch the glass.
Ivy: No way.
Ivy-san took it away from me and I couldn't get to it.
Arai Takeshi: Drink more!
Ivy: I know.
Rina: Ivy-san ...
I had no choice but to watch him as he silently piled up the cups, feeling sorry and worried.
... and after a while.
Ivy: Nng ...
After emptying more than 20 shots, Ivy-san was completely drunk.
Rina: Get a grip!
Arai Takeshi: Oh, he's so pathetic.
Sakura Eito: ... indeed he can't go any further, I think Ivy should go home now.
Arai Takeshi: That's boring. I haven't had enough to drink.
Sakura Eito: I'll go out with you.
Arai Takeshi: Well, that's okay.
Sakura-san tells me in a whisper.
Sakura Eito: I'll call a car right away, and you go home with him, Kawanaga-chan.
Sakura Eito: ... Take care of Ivy. I'll hold him back.
Sakura-san looks at Ivy-san and me with a concerned gaze.
Rina: ... Understood.
That was all I could say.
Ivy: ...
(Sorry. It's my fault this happened ...)
My heart aches for Ivy-san, who is so drunk that he can hardly stand and is almost asleep.
(Why does Ivy-san have to say things like that?)
... Biting back my frustration, I supported Ivy-san and got into the care that Sakura-san had arranged for us.
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Could i request gotham, BTAS, telltale, and Arkham riddler with an asexual s/o?
Gotham, BTAS, Telltale, Arkham Riddler with an Asexual s/o
Absolutely you can! I've actually seen some hcs around for various Riddler's being ace and I can totally see it even if it's not my personal interpretations. Kind of the nice thing about doing interpretations for comic book characters is there's so many people on this tiny screaming rock and we can apply all different perspectives. I hope you like this!
TW: NSFW (nothing particularly graphic but still talking about sex)
Gotham
If he were being honest (and honesty is most of what he would like to give to you), sex is not his top priority. He wouldn't classify himself as asexual because he's got kinky predilections- yet his life is certainly not going to be much different without it.
If you're okay with him (safely) exploring solely sexual things with other partners, then he will. If not, then he won't. That's rather the purpose of places like the Foxglove, isn't it?
Furthermore, if you were alright with him exploring with other partners and aren't sex-repulsed, he wants you to be involved (in a sense). Not sexually, he wants to add. But he thinks it's only fair you meet the people- especially if they're regular. Get a feel for the place. Even if you're not participating, he wants you involved/knowing in all aspects of his life.
That's what partners do, right? They make things work because they love each other and they keep things transparent. It isn't much of a question for him, it's the answer.
Ultimately what will happen is based around your comfort. He'd give it all up if that's what you wanted. Just holding you at night sleepily kissing your shoulders in your own little world- just the two of you.
BTAS
Explain it. You don't need to exact any personal details or anything if you don't want, just explain what asexual means for you and how you both need to proceed.
In his world and time it's not something you hear about often, but he's more than willing to learn. He's the type who, once you explained it, would go on to think of historical examples of people who were the exact same way! Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla!
He's going to tell you in scores that what he's in love with the most is your brain, anyways. You're wonderfully attractive, yes, but your mind... How could that compare to the mere distractions of the flesh?
Is he going to still desire you in that way? Yes, but if he feels himself getting too riled up he'll go to another room and "take care of himself." Just give him a kiss when he comes back and he's going to be pleased as punch.
He's going to ramp up on the romantic dates. It's a point of pride for him that if he can't express his love in one way because you don't like it, he's going to go at it another route that you do like and appreciate. Fortunately with all his dorky charm, he does make a pretty good date.
Telltale
Oh? Is that it? When you originally told him you had something important to tell him, he'd assumed it would be information that would change your relationship in a big way.
It does not. Were you expecting a larger reaction?
The truth of the matter is, he's an older man with a reduced sex drive anyways. Any drive he does have can easily be satisfied on his own, if that's what you were worried about.
If you were worried about it, he'll tell you not to be ridiculous. He cares for you. If he didn't, he wouldn't stick around. Having or not having sex would be such a petty deal-breaker in his mind considering how few people he truly likes much less could love.
And he loves you. You should know that by now. He's not going anywhere.
Arkham
One of the first things he would ask is if you would care if he had "just sex" with other people. Knowing his reclusive state, you'd likely give a teasing scoff and ask who he was planning on asking. He concedes and says it's logical for him to just take care of himself. That's okay.
That being said, he would greatly appreciate and encourage... materials from you for his masturbatory use (yes he says it just like that). Dirty pictures of you posing in various states of undress should do the trick if you're not comfortable jerking him off or being in the room with him when he does. He's not going to judge!
He makes it rather clear that he wasn't interested in you for sex. He could get sex from anyone. But you're not anyone, are you? No, you're better than them and therefore suitable to be in his company.
If anything, expect a tad more of that quiet romantic side to come out. Similar to BTAS- If he isn't going to show you how much he really loves you in that physical sense, he's going to have to up his game. Expect him to be a bit clumsy in this because he has the social skills of a feral cat.
It might be difficult for him at first to make his physical touching towards you more tender than sexual. A lot of this does trace back to those poor social skills as he's isolated himself further from other people and "normal" interactions/dating. But he's making the effort because he needs you to be happy with him.
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angel-fics · 9 months
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Darkness Within the Light
Chapter 1 of my A Dwayne Stephens x Latina!Pregnant!Witch!OC story
Warnings: descriptions of gore/violence, violence, blood, sex, crude language, language, toxic mentalities, toxic relationships
Summary: this first chapter doesn’t actually have any warnings besides what can maybe be interpreted as stockholm syndrome. Anyway, we start off with a meeting between the vampires about Max possibly creating a new mother for his lost boys (plus Star)
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“Now, young boys need a mother. A kind, nurturing and loving mother,” their powerful leader spoke, his chiding voice echoing off the walls of the sunken hotel.
“No offense, Father, but we aren’t exactly ‘young boys’,” the youngest, Paul, jokingly pointed out, the firelight reflecting off of his bloodstained teeth. Marko, who was lazily lounging beside him, chuckled in agreement.
David sighed slowly, coolly as he was ought to do, considering both his father’s words and his brother’s argument. Star and Laddie idled by in their room, watching the exchange curiously, but silently. He had to take them into consideration, Max did as well. Max was the sire to six vampires, two of which were mere fledglings. It was a curious amount of children to have without a mother in the picture. Especially when the family resemblance was all over the place. Still, it would be hard to explain such conditions to a new woman, vampire or not. Vampires were territorial by nature - Max’s lost boys plus two would always be his, solely his.
A human woman would be easier to indoctrinate into their merry little clan, especially if she were Max’s mate, but the odds of finding such as woman as Max was describing were next to zero. At the same time, David knew that Max wasn’t truly proposing the idea to them. They weren’t that type of clan. He’d made up his mind already, and used their latest delinquent endeavors - this time, a particularly messy feeding - to inform them of his decision. In any case, as a father, because he wasn’t just their sire, he would want his children’s input.
Paul and Marko, only 10 years into their immortality, weren’t looking for yet another source of authority like Max to keep them in line. David didn’t care either way; Max knew of their approach to the lifestyle he granted them and let them be so long as they stayed within certain lines. Star and Laddie hadn’t been around long enough for their opinions to matter much, neither had even taken the multiple chances they had to feed, yet. Until they did so, their chances of speaking up at these “meetings” were limited.
David looked to Dwayne, to prob his mind for a hint on his position in this matter. Since returning to their “home”, Dwayne has remained silent. Even now, his dark eyes never strayed from Max’s pacing form. Usually jovial after feeding, attending to Laddie and Star or joking with Paul, Dwayne’s reflective demeanor told David what he needed to know. Dwayne had come to the same solution he had, and was curious to what Max’s response would be to Paul.
“Now, now, son, we ought to look at this a bit more openly. Our kind doesn’t change much and you still are very young in many aspects, especially in comparison to your older brothers. A mother might be just what you six need to tame out your roughness,” Max dismissed easily. David raised an eyebrow at the inclusion of Star and Laddie in Max’s statement, but continued to say nothing. The two new comers had been with them a few months now and had refused to turn to their way of life, David hadn’t truly known how Max had taken that rejection until now. Fledgling or not, anyone who had ingested Max’s blood belonged to him on a certain level.
Star had joined them first, several months ago. Drawn in by their dark natures, so different from her light and laidback lifestyle, she was fascinated and attracted to their dangerous intensity. It hadn’t taken much effort or persuasion to get her to drink Max’s blood, but once she’d realized their deception, she was appalled. It wasn’t as though there was much she could do at that point however, and she didn’t have any opportunities besides joining them. And join them she did, albeit begrudgingly, as there was a large part of her human life that she outright refused to leave behind.
She didn’t have parents or a particularly rewarding job, but she had a brother. A young boy who would be left alone in the world without her. He needed her and she needed him. There would be no way to get her to accept her new life with them without that child. Though Paul and Marko were heavily against the idea, not wanting to be eternal babysitters to someone’s brother, Max had developed a soft spot for his only daughter, as resistant as she was. So he turned Laddie, too. While is wasn’t what Star had in mind, nor what she wanted for the boy, it was better than them being separated forever and him being alone.
Now, months later, she’d refused to kill and forbid Laddie from doing so as well. Max, for the most part, took a “laissez faire” approach to them. He didn’t really interact with them much and left them to their own devices as he did with his other children. The boys had all taken numerous attempts to include them or convince them to feed. Dwayne and Paul especially. Since Max’s role in Santa Carla was to be absent from them as an entity, Dwayne had taken over the fatherly role towards Laddie, with the younger boy clearly looking up to him as such. Out of all of them, Paul’s light-heartedness and good humor defrosted Star’s icy demeanor enough that she could tolerate being in the same room as them and trust them enough to care for Laddie in ways she couldn’t. If David knew of how things would turn out when he asked Max to change her, he still would’ve done it.
While he couldn’t quite put a finger on how he felt about Star, hell, how any of them truly felt about her, there was a sense of rightness when she and Laddie were around. So it didn’t matter to him whether how he felt about her was romantic or not, she was theirs and they were hers. And they’d have eternity to figure out all the smaller details. No matter the circumstances, Star and Laddie drank Max’s blood and joined his clan. Making their odd family a bit more complete.
Despite all this, she rarely spoke aloud in front of Max. Whether it was because of fear, or because of her lack of willingness to kill, she was too intimidated to regularly give her opinions where he was concerned. Laddie didn’t have the same problem, but he always remained glued to his sister’s side when in a room with Max. The siblings were very clearly intimidated by their creator.
“And what would you make of this, my dear Star? You’re much too young to deal with the burdens of true motherhood, especially where these four are concerned. Do you share in Paul’s opinion?” Max implored, pausing in his thoughtful pacing and securing his full attention on Star. Unlike with Paul, this was leagues more genuine a question. It was the most patient and fatherly he’d been since turning Laddie. When you spend months getting verbally rejected by your father in front of strangers to put up a convincing front, it was hard to separate the act from what was true, no matter how many times the routine was played.
Star startled from her position on her bed, jostling Laddie who was fiddling with some sort of odd gimmick Marko had stolen for him. She blinked owlishly at Max, lips parted for words she hadn’t been prepared to speak. Max waited for her response patiently and Dwayne turned to watch her quizzically, the most expressive he’d been in an hour.
Tucking a curly section of her long, dark locks behind her ear, she nodded jerkily before clearing her throat. “I agree with you. It would be nice to have another girl around. And it would be nice for you to have a mate, sir.”
Max smiled and hummed in a mock questioning tone, pleased with her input. He sighed, much in the same matter David had, and resumed pacing. David himself was shocked at the exchange. He was able to count all the times Star and Max had interacted on one hand and still have a finger or two left over. Still, he remained in his silent game of sorts with Dwayne, who also hadn’t said a single word.
Laddie, emboldened by Star’s exchange with Max, scampered onto Marko’s lap so that he and Paul could show him how to figure out the toy. Star gazed after him longingly, obviously preferring for her brother to stay with her, both to protect him and use him as a buffer from the others. Still, David could tell that it warmed her heart to see her brother so relaxed and happy, chattering away with the blonde duo.
He caught Dwayne’s eye after a few moments of the pseudo-domestic scene, with Max ceasing his pacing to sit and observe the scene of his three youngest sons’ interaction with one another. It was a perfect few minutes, but as far as David and Dwayne were concerned, the prior conversation was far from over. One glance at Star’s tense form, waiting with bated breath, she knew that, too.
Dwayne, taking the ever-rare lead as oldest of Max’s children, adjusted his position to mirror that of his father’s. Max was temporarily distracted from his musing by the change and focused on the brunette.
“Addition aside, where exactly are you planning on finding this woman, father? A vampire would never accept us, she wouldn’t accept being mated to a clan that isn’t hers,” Dwayne reasoned, raising an eyebrow at Max.
The benevolent babbling of the chaotic trio dropped off suddenly, watching the two oldest members of the clan in rapt attention. It wasn’t often that Dwayne spoke in length and for all of the clan, besides David and Max, of course, they’d never heard him say so much without provocation. Hell, they didn’t even know that Dwayne was the oldest. For all of his seriousness and intensity, David was simply better in-tuned to a leadership role among Max’s creations. Nonetheless, if Dwayne ever needed to get a point across, David would defer to him.
Dwayne was as much of a wild child as any of them. Always up for causing trouble and making mischief with his brothers. Unlike the others, though, he preferred to hang back most of the time, observant and reserved. Out of all of them, he hardly ever got into trouble with Max or human authorities. Not because he was a goody-two-shoes, but because he wasn’t a loudmouth and didn’t get caught. (Marko and Paul) But on occasions such as these, David knew Dwayne could pull through to their father in ways he couldn’t. Max wasn’t one to cast favoritism on his children, but as his first son, Dwayne was often considered his right hand on more serious topics.
“Yes, a female vampire wouldn’t suit us, we’d have to find a mortal woman to suit us. One who is mature, warm, and accepting to having such a large brood,” Max agreed easily, the picture of relaxation in comparison to the large young man who sat hunched before him on a downtrodden velvet couch.
“As well as completely accepting of our true forms and willing to be turned herself. She couldn’t truly be your mate if she didn’t turn herself. It’s a lot to ask for,” Dwayne added, brows furrowed and shoulders tense.
David sucked in a breath at Dwayne’s last statement. David was, by nature, defiant and rude. But never to his father, his sire. Though polite and monotone, Dwayne’s words were a clear criticism of Max’s expectations, which David - nor Paul, Marko, Star or Laddie - would never dream of saying aloud. Even if he did agree. (He does.)
Max nodded absently, not offended by Dwayne’s defiance in the slightest. “Yes, it would be quite difficult, near impossible, to find such a woman. Especially one without burdens of her own to deal with,” Max bemused, still nodding, looking nowhere in particular.
Dwayne’s eyebrows launched to near his hairline in shock as some sort of realization struck him. He sat up, lips parted in incredulity. From their position of the larger couch across the room, Marko and Paul tore their gazes from their game with Laddie to watch their brother and father’s interaction end suddenly. Star wandered over to stand behind Marko, laying a hand on his shoulder. They all tried to figure out the startling information that had stunned Dwayne so much.
“You aren’t looking for a woman to change into being our mother,” Dwayne explained aloud for them, leaning away from Max, fists clenched on his denim clad thighs. “You’re looking to change a woman who’s already a mother herself”
The atmosphere within their poorly lit dwelling stilled, as if Dwayne himself had paralyzed the air itself with his words. No one moved or spoke as Max’s implications swirled through their minds. It gave David a headache, but he didn’t dare speak. Star grabbed a hold of Laddie, her other hand fisting into the leather shoulder of Marko’s jacket. Paul lifted a hand to stroke her waist comfortingly, but he didn’t look away from his sire.
Marko breaks the intense silence first. “Dad? What does that mean for us? Our clan is large enough as is. Adding your mate is fine, but her potential children, too? That’s wicked risky,” Marko reasoned, laying his own hand on top of Star’s clenched fist, still on his shoulder.
Max focused his aimless state onto the curly-haired blonde, fingers drumming into the armrest of the leather recliner he was sitting in. His claws extended slightly, shredding the worn material beneath his pale fingertips. He gave no other indications that he was anything other than perfectly at ease. Still, he said nothing, his light eyes fixated on the chaotic trio huddled together, with Star carding her fingers through Laddie’s hair to ease his obvious discomfort.
David knew Max wasn’t truly frustrated at them, he was simply responding to their tension. As their sire, and father, he was loathe to accept any discomfort his children might have. He might’ve made this decision already, but it genuinely mattered to him that his lost children were all comfortable with the changes.
“A larger clan could be a good thing, my boy. Rogue vampires and small clans would be foolish to try and penetrate our forces. We’d also have a larger feeding ground. Meaning, that we wouldn’t be forced to leave as often, maybe not at all,” Max drawled, eager to put them at ease.
What he was saying was true, of course. Other vampires would steer clear of larger clans, they had at one point. Even with the five of them, they weren’t a large clan. Star and Laddie wouldn’t truly count to the larger population until they fed, no matter how attached they were to them. Most large clans did find a low maintenance location to settle permanently, using the advantage of larger areas to feed on outer human communities instead of locally. Santa Carla wasn’t like most places, though. There were many instances of murder and disappearances long before they had arrived, Max had made sure of it when moving them. Logistically, adding more members would provide an advantage to them. And Max was at a point where he needed a mate, instead of companions and children. Not that they were truly children, but they were his and he was theirs.
“Still, like Dwayne said, someone like that would be hard to find. The biggest problem would be to accept what we are and to agree to the change,” Star spoke up, more at ease since being asked previously. Dwayne eyed her at the mention of his name before refocusing on Max.
“Yes, of course, but remember that stranger things have happened, darling,” Max advised, encouraging her - all of them - to be more open minded and optimistic.
“Yeah, no offense, Pops, but where are you planning on finding this wonder woman of a mom? The woman here don’t tend to do the best job at caring for themselves, not to mention their own kids,” Paul joked, lightening the mood considerably. He reached across Marko to where Laddie sat on his other side and gently jabbed a finger into his ribs, causing the younger boy to squeal slightly and curl around Marko’s lithe form. Star giggled at his antics, finally letting go of Marko to ruffle his hair.
“That’s for sure,” David agreed, forcing himself to relax into his usual good-humored self. Dwayne followed his lead and spread out on his end of the couch, arms rested along the back end and long legs stretched out completely. His massive form took up most of the limited space.
“There are five billion people on this planet and women make up for more than half of them, I’m quite certain that we can find the one woman who fits into our family, along with her own,” Max conceded, enjoying the domestic scene in front of him immensely. With David’s gift of telepathy, it was hard to resist truly relaxing while within Max’s mind. He agreed to go along with it easily enough, though he didn’t look forward to babysitting even more baby fledglings, the idea truly didn’t seem like a bad one. So long as she didn’t interfere with their fun.
“Hmmm, stranger things have happened,” Dwayne repeated, closing his eyes and lolling his head to the side, chest rising and falling slowly.
“Yes, and who knows, our clan would be growing further as you all find your own mates,” Max added lightly, smiling with a happy twinkle in his eye.
David smiled warmly at the life inside the dark and dead hotel as the sounds of Marko and Paul’s loud jesting with Laddie and Star’s giggles bounced off the walls. The dull candlelight danced across everyone’s smiling and peaceful faces, even the sleeping Dwayne looked happy. He considered his father’s words thoughtfully, and secretly began to become enthused at the coming changes in his life.
~*~*~ Meanwhile, on the coastal highway just outside of Santa Carla ~*~*~
As the full moon reached its brightest and highest point in the night sky and the stars sparkles brilliantly in the endless dark expanse of the night sky, an old Volkswagen bus sputtered along the old road. Tires sending swirls of dirt, sand and dust dancing into the warm air before settling back to the ground. The ocean waves roared above the congested sounds of an old engine, and drowned out the sleepy singing from within the cab.
“Sleep, pretty darling, do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby
Golden slumbers fill your eyes
Smiles awake when you rise
Sleep, pretty darling, do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby
Once there was a way
To get back homeward
Once there was a way
To get back home
Sleep, pretty darling, do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby”
The young woman yawned at the end of the song, exhaustion clouding her vision slightly. She was very thankful that there didn’t seem to be anyone on the road at the time and tried to clear her mind of the sleepiness. She hummed thoughtlessly for something to do and resisted the urge to tap her legs, which felt very heavy.
Running a hand through her hair and tugging on a few strands, she harshly blinking her eyes to combat her bleary vision, she remained determined to finish her week-long drive instead of parking on the side of the highway for a nap. Her destination was so close, she wouldn’t be able to bear not ending it ahead of time. She also had to take into account that her old lemon of a van probably wouldn’t start again if she stopped right now. And she was in no position to push the behemoth of an eyesore for a vehicle the last two miles it took to reach Santa Carla.
Less than two miles, she cheered inwardly when she saw the Welcome to Santa Carla sign that stood tall up ahead. Suddenly rejuvenated, she anxiously watched ahead for any life inside the beach town. Just across the way lay the board walk, smaller waves crashing into the pillars that held up the structure teeming with life. Everywhere she cast her eyes held signs of joy and exuberance. Small shops and kiosks practically sat on top of each other with large groups of people steaming in and out of them. Large rollercoasters sent screaming carts into the air, zipping to and from, end to end. Long lines stood waiting impatiently for the chance to play a game for cheap prizes.
She sighed contently, relieved to have arrived to her new home, absorbing the energy that was just out of reach. She could practically hear and smell and feel it all, even from so far away. There was something else, something less lively and a bit darker, but still extremely potent to her unnatural senses. It was familiar and welcome, very similar to her own energy. It tingled within her pleasantly and helped her feel even more at ease within her new sanctuary.
Sliding a hand down to the plump fat of her belly, where a clump of cells was growing within her womb, she rubbed comfortingly and enthusiastically. As if trying to wake her unborn child so that they might experience the atmosphere along with her.
“Can you feel that, lovey, this is where we are meant to be, this is our home.”
————————————————————————————————————————
end of chapter 1, hope y’all like it, lemme know
so like, i realize that both referencing Max’s mate with the OC being pregnant AND having the chapter primarily be in David’s POV can be misleading, but i promise it’ll get back on track. this story will have Max and Lucy together and i need help with David
I don’t know if David should end up with Star or Michael. Or if Michael and Star should be together? Or if Michael and Star and David should be together. Or if i should just make more OCs for the other boys?
Also, lemme know if you guys have any OCs for the other characters!
Currently available characters are
*Paul
*Marko
*Sam
*Alan
*Edgar
*(maybe) David
this chapter is dedicated @poisonprincess82
thank you for being my first follower on my new account, very much appreciated
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aita-blorbos · 8 months
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AITA for committing treason and betraying my friends before I even met them?
"Committing treason" is perhaps too strong, for I (120M) have no love for my country. We have access to several extremely powerful magical artifacts and instead of fully studying them and uncovering their mysteries, my people decided to treat them as religious relics. These artifacts have already given us access to reincarnation and to a unique kind of magic. What we could accomplish with a deep study of at least one of them is unimaginable.
I decided to dedicate myself to the study of magic and rose through our political ranks. I have a lot of prestige in my field for someone so young and I'm considered a prodigy. So I thought that this would be enough to gain full access to the artifacts, to finally get my people to see what they're missing. But no matter how important I get and how strong the name of my family is, nothing changes. The artifact is still seen solely as part of our god instead of what it truly is.
That is why when magicians of our enemy country, scholars like I am, reached out for me to smuggle two of them... I did not spend much time pondering. The tensions between our countries got even higher, but the artifacts were in the hands of scholars as they always should have been. I'm aware that their goals are possibly not good, but what truly matters is that the information gets to me, that I finally get to understand all the secrets they hold.
Even though I feel they've not been sharing what they're actually finding...
But I digress. After some years searching for their whereabouts, my country finally leads an assault on our enemy to get these artifacts back. Our agents failed to retrieve them, but that was enough to make our cold war hot. I understand that my actions led to this, but I think that war would have happened anyway. Our countries were already enemies, they just needed an excuse.
One day, while the war preoccupied everyone's thoughts, a random bunch showed up to have an audience with our Queen. I was in attendance, but I did not pay them much mind (although two members were clearly from our enemy country) until one of them pulled an artifact, the same one I had stolen, from their bags. Our Queen declared them heroes and that's when things truly started to go wrong.
They were deadset on ending the war and soon they started believing a treator had handed the relics over to the other side. I was keeping an eye on them to conver all my tracks, but they started to ask me favors all the time. They kept calling me to ask questions and to transport them everywhere, wasting my time and magic. However... They also were genuinely interested in getting to know me. They kept inviting me over for dinner, sharing their knowledge and one of them even hugged me. I do not remember the last time I was shown this much kindness and even though I tried my best to prevent it... I started to care about them.
And that's where the real problem lies. All their caring about people is starting to rub off on me and now I'm questioning everything I did. I've betrayed their trust, but that was before I even knew who they were! My actions led to a war, but that was not my intention and that war was set to happen even if I hadn't done anything! My motives were never good, but they were important. I can not be blamed for all this.
...right?
I feel like a few months ago I wouldn't care about the answer, but now I can't help but wonder if I am, how you say, "the asshole".
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heavensbeehall · 1 month
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"Mockingjay", Chapter 11
Part 2: The Assault
Chapter 11: Katniss obsesses over the concept of "what it will take to break me" during her three days stuck in the bunker. She makes Buttercup chase the light, a fun game with all cats. And realizes that she is Buttercup and Peeta is the light. Snow is torturing Peeta solely to taunt her. He has no rebel information. There is only one person who really understands what she is going through: Finnick. Annie wasn't kidnapped because she had information. Finnick gives her his rope that he uses to distract his mind. Coin wants them to film something to show 13 is fine. Gale is weird. Peeta saved lives with his warning. Snow has dropped roses for Katniss because he's a weirdo. She cannot say the line "13 is alive and well and so am I" probably because she is not well. She is having a panic attack.
So now that "The Mockingjay" can't perform--they finally decide to try to rescue Peeta and the others. They really treat her like some kind of circus animal that performs for crowds or something. (Boggs is the one who finally arranges the mission. He didn't let Haymitch volunteer but Gale did.)
Thoughts
-- I wonder when exactly Snow was convinced Katniss loved Peeta. He says he's not convinced in "Catching Fire" but I don't think that's true. He was just trying to keep Katniss busy until he could subdue the districts however he has done it before. (She thinks he figured it out when Finnick did during the Quarter Quell.) Clearly she risked her life to save his multiple times in the first Hunger Games. I think he's just jealous that Katniss and Peeta's trauma bond evolved into an actual relationship but Snow never got to fuck Lucy Gray.
-- So Plutarch's hovercraft seems to have picked people up in order of their importance to him, right? Katniss was first (or at least she was in the movie). Then Finnick and Beetee. They make sense. Beetee is clearly doing the job of entire teams of tech people. And Finnick seems to have been an active operative in the Rebellion. Anyway I would really like to know if Plutarch would've picked up Johanna or Peeta next and if he would've picked up Enobaria at all if he had more time.
Quotes:
He attains celebrity status with his evening game of Crazy Cat. I created this by accident a few years ago, during a winter blackout. You simply wiggle a flashlight beam around on the floor, and Buttercup tries to catch it. I'm petty enough to enjoy it because I think it makes him look stupid.
Katniss is still beefing with this cat like Snow is beefing with her.
The pain over my heart returns, and from it I imagine tiny fissures spreading out into my body. Through my torso, down my arms and legs, over my face, leaving it crisscrossed with cracks. One good jolt of a bunker missile and I could shatter into strange, razor-sharp shards.
Katniss is very dramatic sometimes. I shouldn't laugh but it's very teenage angst! (She is 17 afterall.)
I carefully extricate myself from my blanket and tiptoe through the cavern until I find Finnick, feeling for some unspecified reason that he will understand.
"unspecified" meaning "because he is basically in the exact same weird-ass situation that I am"
"You did warn me, though. On the hovercraft. Only when you said they'd use Peeta against me, I thought you meant like bait. To lure me into the Capitol somehow," I say. "I shouldn't have said even that. It was too late for it to be of any help to you. Since I hadn't warned you before the Quarter Quell, I should've shut up about how Snow operates." Finnick yanks on the end of his rope, and an intricate knot becomes a straight line again.
I think all the adults should have told her this immediately instead of manipulating a teenage girl into doing what they want just because she isn't wordly weary yet.
"Want a sugar cube?" he asks in his old seductive voice. That's how we met, with Finnick offering me sugar. Surrounded by horses and chariots, costumed and painted for the crowds, before we were allies. Before I had any idea what made him tick. The memory actually coaxes a smile out of me. "Here, it improves the taste," he says in his real voice, plunking three cubes in my cup. As I turn to go suit up as the Mockingjay, I catch Gale watching me and Finnick unhappily.
Gale, I have had it up to here with your bullshit. I know you are a teenager too and are jealous but this girl has been misERABLE for weeks and she smiles once and you aren't HAPPY about that?
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uefb · 1 year
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Hi
I hope you don’t mind me asking, but as you know I really enjoy reading some of your fanfic and love the way Newt’s family are written in your universe. I love how Newt’s parents are supportive, especially his dad. I think his dad and Theseus are my favourites.
Anyway I wanted to ask, in your world how would Helious and Rowan react to Newt’s expulsion from Hogwarts? What happened when Newt came home? Or when they were called in after the incident?
Did they treat him with kid gloves? Like go about it delicately like they did with the incident with his uncle in the ministry? Or maybe this time he’s gone too far (as far as they know), so they’re more disappointed and bit more firmer? He’s not a kid anymore so how would that go? Now that’s something interesting I think to explore.
Hello! Good to hear from you! I’m answering this from bed half asleep so forgive me for not going into a ton of detail. But if I put it off I’ll just never reply. Very happy you like how I write the Scamander family
And great question — because their reaction is different from how they treat him after the situation with Hesiod in “The Riot Act”. While still cognitively immature, there’s still a big difference between barely 11 and 16/17…. ‘Kid gloves’ are appropriate when dealing with certain issues at certain ages, but realistic conversation would probably be a better fit for the expulsion at 16.
That being said..
So I actually I have a few versions of their reaction to Newt’s expulsion I’ve been playing around with. But all of them involve Newt going back to live with Rowan eventually, but spending the first month avoiding home, living solely with his dad in London. I write him specifically requesting his father be contacted to pick him up, after which he informs his mother himself, while at Helios’. Newt knows she’ll be disappointed. And he ultimately chooses to figure the first few weeks after expulsion out with Helios precisely because Rowan is struggling to be supportive (and he likely feels ashamed). Rowan, meanwhile, feels she’s tried everything and still she’s ended up with her youngest son, expelled from school, just come of age with absolutely nothing going for him. She’s worried, and frustrated, and angry, and that can be hard for someone like Newt to figure out how to handle, especially bc I don’t headcanon he tells his parents about the entire Leta situation. Which makes him come across as far less sympathetic.
By this point, I write their dad as being somewhat “checked out”. He’s largely given up on parenting by now (I mean, Theseus is well into adulthood, but newt’s still young), as he’s been rather burned out by his own life and some particularly poor coping mechanisms. You can imagine the unspoken strain that puts on a family unit. Helios is of course upset with the situation but he’s not disappointed in Newt in the same way as Rowan (probably for obvious reasons, as he and Newt share a lot of personality traits in addition to some overlapping neurodivergence), so his reaction is pretty tempered. So it’s easier for Newt to hide there, with his dad.
Luckily for both Rowan & Helios, though, Newt immediately gets work at DRCMC and an apothecary in Diagon Alley, so he keeps himself busy, and largely out of trouble. He strikes me as the kind of person who does much better—in many ways—in the world than he does in school (I say, heavily projecting), so I imagine over the course of a few months, he and his mum come back around to understanding one another better. There’s a point at which one just has to accept that (a) this is the unfortunate way of the world and it’s necessary to survival to sometimes just accept it [Newt], and (b) this is just the way some people are — you can cry and scream about it but good luck trying to change something that perhaps just can’t be changed [Rowan]. Neither of them is entirely in the right, and I think they both probably know it, a little bit.
I do headcanon the expulsion as one of the first real cracks in N & T’s relationship, though. Theseus doesn’t abandon him and remains an anchor in an otherwise somewhat unstable family during this time period, but he doesn’t understand him, and it starts to get messy.
One of the reasons I love writing about Theseus and Newt is because neither of them is perfect. They both have canon flaws in how they deal with commitment and conflict. And I’m trying to figure out how to write the expulsion reaction for all of them, so I’ve just been poking at it for a few months, and waiting for it to shape itself out.
So that’s some rambling. Certainly it’s not all my thoughts because I’m in bed but. Would love to know your thoughts too.
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carewyncromwell · 8 months
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Jsckos inability to focus is such a mood schu I literally have to walk around when I cashier bc just standing there is impossible lol ( I have ADHD and autism) anyways I love him
Aww, thank you, sweetie!! <33 I have ADHD too, so the way I wrote Jackson in that drabble is directly from my own experiences, trying to focus in classes that didn't engage my interest.
In high school, I took a beginner's Psychology class, where my teacher did perhaps one of the best things a teacher had ever done for me in my entire school career by actually hosting our classes outside next to the creek behind our school, rather than keeping us in his sterile, all-white classroom. The teacher in question had read multiple studies that people who study outside are less likely to suffer from depression than those who study inside -- and well, our students being depressed would be unsurprising, given that our entire school, like so many others in America, had been designed like a prison with no possible visual distractions anywhere. Even all of the school's windows were positioned at the very top of the walls, way too high to see out of. And contrary to what many administrators apparently think, having nothing else going on in the classroom doesn't make you pay attention to your teacher's lessons more -- on the contrary, studies show student productivity, attention span, engagement, and creativity are generally all better in an outdoor setting.
Now, admittedly, my brand of ADHD means I'm very prone to hyperfocus, so I find truly multitasking very difficult. Doing two completely different and equally challenging assignments at the same time would be incredibly difficult for me. Trying to troubleshoot my Wi-Fi while simultaneously writing down a grocery list -- yeah, no, I'd have to focus solely on one or the other. What I do find helpful, though, is having some sort of mindless "busy" work for my hands, eyes, feet, etc. to do while I'm focusing on that thing I'm really focusing on. It can also kind of "wake my brain back up" if I've gotten into a rut or I've lost track of what I was doing.
In Jackson's case, he's read these poems by Edgar Allen Poe so many times that he's memorized them, so he's not taking in any new information or challenging his brain too much by rereading them. Brewing tea is something he's done countless times too, so he can do it largely on autopilot. And walking around to do these things involve more physical movement than deep, involved thought. So all of those things help keep his mind present and aware enough to finish his potion, which is his primary focus.
For me, while I'm working on a challenging word game on my phone, I might occasionally pop over to my Tumblr app to scroll absently through some pictures and then go back to my game, or I might also put on some music or some background TV noise while I'm working on that puzzle. The word game at that moment is my focus -- it's just the stuff around it that keeps my brain flexed enough to do the mental exertion needed to focus on the primary thing.
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ellisgirl · 11 months
Text
Ellis Twilight — Wicked Love Blooming In The Dark Night Story Event [Premium End]
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Premium End
I do not own any contents of Ikemen Villains. This story being uploaded in this blog belongs solely to CYBIRD. Please support them by downloading their games and buying their stories. Both English and Japanese are not my mother tongue languages, please keep in mind that there will be mistranslations and added words for my own preferences. I translate for my personal entertainment and for my own practice only
Kate: Ellis-kun, what’s wrong…?
Ellis: Wait a minute, it might be a problem. …Even though it was a happy day.
Kate: Heh…?
Ellis: If you're scared, close your eyes. It'll be over soon.
As soon as Ellis said that, I heard multiple footsteps from behind.
Kate: What…!?
In no time, I heard gunshots.
By the time my thought was able to process, Ellis had already disappeared.
Kate: E—Ellis-kun…!?
Looking back from the wheelchair, I could see Ellis leaping into the armed men by himself.
Kate: Nn—
I was not even able to be surprised by his physical ability, all the men were lying on the ground in no time.
(I, What the hell… What happened…)
Ellis: Are you okay? Kate, are you hurt?
Kate: I’m fine… Are you okay, Ellis-kun!?
Ellis: Huh? Me? Yeah.
(He acted like it’s just a normal thing, but I don’t think this kind of situation should be done with that sort of reaction…)
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Kate: These people… Who are they?
Ellis: I think they are after you.
Kate: Wh—Me…?
Ellis looked into the man’s chest pocket and pulled out a photo.
Ellis: …Here.
It was certain that I was in the photo there.
The director of the post office where I worked wanted to follow the trends, he gathered all of his staff and took pictures for us.
(It should have been displayed in the director’s office… Did someone steal it? Just to tell these men how do I look like?)
I gradually understand the fact that I was definitely being targeted, and now fear started to attack me in.
Ellis: I remember you said that you were almost run over by a carriage on your way home from the castle last night...
Ellis: I think they are the people Wil mentioned earlier.
Ellis: Someone has heard rumors about the Fairytale Master in the Crown's office, and has his sights set on Kate-san.
(The existence of the crown shouldn't be known to the public. It should be a top secret that will kill you if you acknowledge about.)
Kate: You mean the people who know your existence and are hostile to you...?
Ellis: Yeah. A few people in the castle know about the existence of the crown... and they don't seem to think much of it.
Ellis: Also, well... a scandalous spy from another country is trying to find out if the rumors are true?
Ellis: Since Will was investigating that area, I think he’s probably already found out the main culprit who gave the orders.
Kate: What are those people trying to do when they get me...?
Ellis: Come on. They're trying to get information about the Crown by torturing you. Maybe.
A shiver ran down my spine.
(I can't believe I'm being targeted just by being with them... I never thought about it before.)
Ellis: Hey, Kate-san, what do you want me to do with these men?
Kate: Eh…?
Ellis: Wil said that if there’s any assault, I’m the one to deal with it.
Ellis: Since these men haven’t known about the Crown just yet… Because I didn’t show my ability. You can let them go.
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Ellis: Do you want me to kill them? Or do you want me to leave them? Either way is fine.
Kate: Either way… Is it okay to leave life or death decision to someone else so easily?
Ellis: …? Yeah, because it’s a work. It’s better for you to be happy anyway.
I can't help but remember his calm demeanor, which was exactly the same as when he said "Shall I kill her?" that day.
Today, I was spoiled by his kindness like I was wrapped in cotton wool, and I almost forgot about it—
It's as if the darkness is suddenly opening its mouth in the sun, the restlessness that surrounds him.
Kate: If it’s Ellis-kun… What do you want to do?
Ellis: They're the people who try to hurt you... They're like our enemies, so it's probably better to kill them.
Ellis: But I don't want you to be sad because of them.
Ellis talks about people's lives and deaths as if he were choosing a jam to spread on bread.
(He’s a little pushy, but he's kind, caring, and the kind of person who thinks about other people's happiness first...)
(Uhm, no... You're asking me this because you put my happiness first.)
In his mind, even killing people can be a means to make someone happy —I just didn't know.
Kate: I… leave them, do it for me, I want to let them go.
Kate: It’s strange to kill when you don’t need to.
(More importantly…)
Kate: I don’t want to make your hands dirty.
For the sake of other people's happiness, his hands are stained with blood,
Even if he doesn't think anything about it, even if it's his distorted expression of affection, I don't like it.
Ellis: Really, you don’t have to worry about me… Kate-san is so sweet.
Ellis: Well, I guess I'll leave them.
Ellis: I’ll burn this photo.
Ellis started pushing my wheelchair again, leaving those men who were still lying there.
Ellis carried me to my room and prepared a wash tub filled with hot water so that I could change the bandage.
Ellis: Stay still for a while....it'll be over soon.
Kate: …Uh.
His hand touches my foot sunk into the warm water, and his body is stiff still.
Ellis: ...You don't like being touched? …Well, Are you still worried about what just happened?"
Ellis's voice was a little depressed, and I suddenly looked up at him.
(Ellis protected me… and I don’t even thank him.)
(Even if the world we live in are different, as well as our common senses.)
No matter how light and fleeting a human life was to him.
(Ellis devoted his heart to me today.)
That is a certain fact.
Kate: No... I'm fine. Thank you for protecting me until now.
Ellis: Yeah… That’s good.
Ellis looked relieved, and when he carefully wiped my wet foot, he rewinded the clean bandage.
(Even though it hardly hurts anymore.)
He treats my foot gently like a fragile thing, my heart aches.
With the impact just a little while ago, I can't wipe it away... Today, it seems that I am fascinated by him.
Kate: Today was a very happy day. I was a little surprised at the end.
Kate: I’m glad to have Ellis-kun spent time with me as a lover.
I smile as much as I can to thank him for his sincerity.
Ellis: …..
When Ellis stared at me while kneeled at my feet, he opened his mouth with a serious expression.
Ellis: How happy are you today?
Kate: Eh…?
(I think he asked me something similar today—)
Ellis: …Hey, Kate-san. I wonder if we should continue …pretending to be lovers tomorrow as well.
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Kate: …What?
Ellis: I want to know more about you. What do you like? What makes you happy? What do you do to have fun?
Ellis: If I could be by your side like today, I feel like I’ll know you better.
Ellis: Then... Tomorrow from today, I can make you happier, and also the day after tomorrow.
Kate: Well… You’re kidding again…
Ellis: …I’m not kidding.
Ellis's eyes were tinged with the same strange heat that I had seen in the wind-scented grasslands—
I am also attacked by that disturbing sense of incongruity.
(If you nod, you won't be able to go anywhere anymore...)
Ellis: I'll make you think that you can't be any happier.
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Ellis stood up without looking away and sat next to me.
The bed spring’s squeaks and bounces disturb my heart even more.
Ellis: …How about it?
A gaping abyss tries to swallow me.
I was too sweetly melted by his kindness to struggle, escape, and run away from.
Masterlist
Chapter 1 & 2 >> Premium End >> Epilogue
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leqclerc · 1 year
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Taking Ferrari out of this, the worst part for me about how this season is shaping up to be is the 2 teams who look to be at the front. I know Red Bull is a good team and they've been involved in some controversies recently, but I don't hate hate them. I begrudgingly respect them. Force India or whatever they called on the other hand, that's my most behated team. I don't know if it's because of all the name changes they've gone through or because there's somehow different rules for teams not called Ferrari, but I don't know how people can be happy that they're doing well. This is the team that was caught cheating not too long ago and had to have their points deducted. Ferrari found a loophole and then when a TD came out, they made changes to comply and they still get labeled as cheaters, those wins are still called fraudulent, they then ended up suffering the next year too as a result. Meanwhile, racing point blatantly broke the rules, had the points deduction, but then that was that. No one brought it up again, checos Bahrain win isn't constantly called fake. And speaking of checo, how have people forgotten that this is the team that fired checo so ungraciously despite him having a valid contract, the team he used his money to save when they were having trouble, how he had to hear about it elsewhere and piece together information. Everyone remembers how seb was treated in his last year at ferrari and calls Ferrari out for it (which they deserve), but no one bat's an eyelid at the other team for worse treatment. Anyway, all this to say, I wouldn't mind if a midfield team made gains and was able to fight in the front, but why does it have to be THAT team.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 You're absolutely right and you should say it, I feel the exact same way. Maybe it's me being ~set in my ways but the Big Three in contemporary F1 (last decade or so) for me will always be Ferrari, Mercedes and Red Bull.
So yeah, Racing Point/Aston Martin, especially in the Lawrence Stroll era, is not a vibe, lol. I will admit I had a soft spot for the black/silver/orange livery Force Indias, the Checo and Hulk lineup, the fact that their team owner literally couldn't attend some races because he was a wanted fugitive... I mean that's kind of funny at least ajsdjfkrgkg Even the Checo and Esteban drama was giving something at least 😭
Then Stroll acquired the team at a steal because of their financial issues (which, as you pointed out, Checo personally helped them through) and from the moment he installed his son in that seat the team lost all credibility. Like, no matter how good that team gets, how quick the car is, there will always only be one seat available at that team, with Lance locked into a lifelong perma-contract, regardless of his form, performance, errors, how unfavourably he performs compared to his teammate, etc. It's kind of a joke, lol. You could argue the team exists solely to keep him in a seat and to give him the best possible opportunities to achieve as much as he can on a personal level. Fernando might be all smiles and hugs with Lawrence now, but we've already seen that the second seat is basically a revolving door and as soon as he's hit with team orders the relationship is going to sour. And unlike Ferrari, oh boy, those guys are very liberal with their use of team orders. They pulled that card on Seb countless times over the two years he spent with them. Of course, they weren't competitive at the time, so Aston's strategic mishaps and team order radios were rarely touched on or broadcast, which may have created this outward image of harmony. So there's definitely potential for things to go south there, which is going to be fun to watch if it happens, and I will be seated. 👀🍿I mean, hell, the first person Fernando makes contact with in the race IS Lance. Not the first, and not going to be the last time. The amount of evasive maneuvers Seb had to make to avoid collisions.... 🥴 And sometimes he ended up getting hit regardless.
Absolutely right about Checo too, I've been saying that for years. 📣The double standards are so real I fear. Ferrari didn't renew Seb's contract; they didn't boot him out mid-season or let him sign a three-year deal only to secretly bring someone else onboard while he found out via overhearing a phone conversation. I agree, we moved on way too fast from that, and while all in all Checo got to prove himself in Sakhir and ended up with a RB seat, for a while it really seemed like he was going to have to step back from the sport. Again, he was locked into a long-term deal (the FIRST he's ever been offered at that team.) And I agree as well that his win was never called into question. But I still see keyboard idiots banging on about Ferrari's illegal engine, illegal wins, and basically invalidating all of their (particularly Charles's) achievements from 2019. Make it make sense 🙃🥴
Idk maybe it's this romantic notion of like, rooting for the underdog or whatever. While Ferrari is permanently the harshly scrutinized party because they're The Big Team and therefore hitting out at them is justified if not encouraged. And let's be clear, I think there's a difference between scrutiny and criticism coming from the fans/supporters of said team who want to see them do better, and just senseless malice for the sake of being controversial and malicious and ~cool for dunking on Ferrari.
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macarensesangles · 8 months
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this is not really relevant to the subject matter of this blog but this is kind of the place i usually feel more comfortable being weird and emotional so ✌️
for whatever reason today my mind got back on system discourse and i ended up checking out the tag. Super relieved that i no longer interact with that kind of dead end community and subject matter where it’s just the same like 12 people having the same highly charged stressful arguments in perpetuity.
it’s honestly stressful for me to even think about as subject matter bc every part of it is so fraught (this is one reason i have a pretty hard line about no endo stuff anywhere near me). it’s hard enough to have DID & come to terms with that on its own in totally like psych and trauma-focused spaces; it gets even harder when you are also exposed to a community that has something superficially similar to your issue except to them it’s fun and positive and your conflicts about your disability are entirely due to an internalized -ism vis a vis plural identity rather than like. bc your disability causes you suffering by the nature of the thing.
and i’ve definitely cooled down on it a lot now that i’m away from it. like, obviously everyone has the right to live and identify in ways i don’t get. there’s nothing wrong with claiming an experience that other people may not understand or believe. i think the only wrong part is when medical misinformation comes into the picture and when people with such identities try to pull CDDs into that umbrella (bc some people are ok with this but some are really not) or try to push themselves/that stuff into spaces solely for CDDs.
and i know some complexities arise bc some people with CDDs also have some investment in this stuff or feel they’re both but like. To me that’s why it’s important not to “cross the beams.” and i admittedly have a huge grudge bc for a long time I did not have access to good information about what was happening to me — the only explanations i could come up with were either like, tulpa/soulbonding shit or schizophrenia, neither of which were true and neither of which served to do anything but prolong the amount of time i didn’t have any way to tackle the real problem. which was that i was traumatized and didn’t recognize it or remember all of what happened.
it’s frustrating to me that it comes down to this idea of like, sort of a “who’s valid” thing for so many people. i don’t care whether non-trauma systems (and i don’t like this use of the term system, due to its basis in medical language, but that cat is way out of the bag) are Valid and ultimately can’t speak to that. not my job to dictate others’ experiences, hope they live their lives happily & safely. but the way they interact with plural identity is not particularly helpful or safe when applied to me as a traumatized person with a medical condition, and my conflicts and shame around my experience make it very fraught for me to even see this wildly disparate outlook in practice, so sharing spaces is just not safe. and on top of that, in the past these communities have in part contributed to further denial and confusion for me in providing this sort of “buffer” that allowed me to cling to that explanation. which is not entirely on them, but it was damaging enough that i need entirely away from it so that i can center myself in what is healthy & pertinent and not, like, denial of the problem.
it’s all pointless to mention anyway bc no matter what anyone says this particular discourse will probably keep going until the sun burns itself out, and as long as i simply don’t look at it and avoid spaces in which it’s likely to come up it pretty much ceases to be relevant to my life (i’m glad I got out!). but god sometimes the whole thing is frustrating to remember. what an absolute hellish mire. what a nightmare for everyone on every side, but ESPECIALLY for the people involved who are heavily traumatized.
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