#anyway I have to go to the church this week | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wildmelon · 2 months

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i said forever ago i was gonna romance karlach as a dwarven forge cleric of moradin but i had a new character idea and now idk what to do 😭

#ive been so torn on this for like weeks atp #i had to delete all my saves and start fresh after patch 6 so ive been putting it off by making new saves w all my ocs #anyway my new idea is a half-orc girlie from baldurs gate who had a shitty home life and wanted to escape so bad #she's a rogue bc she had to sneak around her father and navigate the city after dark #and she was hoping sm her violent tendencies would fade once she got away from her awful family #so once her dad died she went to the open hand temple and wanted to be a paladin of ilmater #but she failed the ilmateri mind reading initiation test bc of her dark urges 💔#so then i dont have the details but she was basically like fml and dark urges took over and she became bhaal's chosen etc #but postgame she & karlach can fix the engine then return to baldur's gate and make a new home there with happy memories and a family #and she can be accepted into ilmater's church and protect the weak like she wanted to now that she's free of bhaal's influence 🥹#now that i typed it all out i think i have to go w her...#lush.talk

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soldier-poet-king · 8 months

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I will not argue about religion online I will not argue about religion online I will not argue about religion online🤡

#franposting #rae your response already sort of undercut ops intent #but also FUCK THAT POST FOR REAL #1) u are doctrinially incorrect. 1x a year minimum. recommended during pennintential seasons #get off my ass every week bullshit #that's not how it works mortal sin is NOT so common as that and this is how yall give ppl scruples and complexes #and religious trauma #also like. just fuck off in general if u have that kind of attitude #trads my nemesis (EXCEPT U RAE)#(she is very polite. she gets to stay :)#but anyway yeah now im so fuckin angry #everytime i think ive reached some sort of tentative peace with the church #or at least. a cease fire. a begruding tolerance of my coreligionists #i am forcibly reminded that so many of them suck #ALSO HISTORICALLY??? WEEKLY CONFESSION??? WTF ARE YALL ON. CRACK????#we went 2 millenia without it. get ur reactionary american trad bullshit out my face #if u are reading this and being like. oh fran i am going to argue with u and correct u. consider. dont.#dont do that. i will not change my mind on this. it is one of the few articles of faith i am definitely sure on #and im actually IN THE RIGHT this isnt even my heterodox pseudo heretic ass #this is literal doctrine yall are just brainrotted by usamerican catholic trad culture #tldr thank u rae for ur response but i must take my rage further and scream bc i hate that rhetoric sm

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isfjmel-phleg · 4 months

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#random personal stuff #whining ahead feel free to ignore #after a little over two weeks with my family I guess it was hard today to go back to church here and #be reminded how easy it is to feel utterly disconnected for some reason #I have a small amount of friends whom I do very much appreciate #but otherwise it's like going through life in a glass case #which is probably my fault somehow #anyway I miss going to a smaller church (it got assimilated into this huge one)#and I miss smaller more intimate Bible study groups #there are more people around now whom it's not easy to be real or vocal in front of #(including the lady who once asked if I were one of the then-pregnant women and can't remember my name etc.)#and that's not their fault and they have every right to be there #it's just a different dynamic and unfortunately it's one that I haven't figured out how to be comfortable in yet #feeling like you belong with particular people is just really hard you know?#it has to be earned and proven and mulled over sometimes for years #before it's ever even believable #I got assigned a while back to consider why the whole disconnect thing #still drawing a blank #probably supposed to have an epiphany about what I'm doing wrong #if so can it be shipped a little faster because I don't have time for this nonsense

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castielafflicted · 5 months

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literally impossible for me to avoid the dean coded allegations. I drove 40 minutes to church (80! minutes! total!) despite planning to not like 80% because I forgot my slice of pie in my parents' fridge. the other 20% was not wanting to make breakfast.

#zeph posting #i wish i was joking #like yeah it was great to have breakfast and see people after missing 2 weeks bc of covid #and the sermon was fascinating today #but huckleberry pie!!!!!!!#also i forget that most if not all of the rest of the people at church are going because theyre actively religiously #and i only am reminded when the pastor says something Very Christian and im like. wait what. do you people not know pagans #spreading christianity has historically been uhhh not so great.#anyways he talked abt how christians shouldnt be worried abt christian having some pagan roots and it was fucking funny to me #bc its like. yeah theres pagan roots bc thats how they sold it to pagans to get them to convert and shit #i dont go bc i believe all or even most of christianity. i go for breakfast and to see people and bc i think the sermons are interesting #like in the same way i find science interesting.

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siena-sevenwits · 10 months

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:-)

#I've spent the past week organizing in the play's wake - sorting and laundering huge numbers of costumes #some to return to those they belong to and some to come home to my costume storage room which had become chaotic over the last few #months #so a complete spring cleaning for the storage room became part of my task list too. Now the play's been over for a week #and the emails are starting to come in from admin about next year. As some of you know I did a lot of discernment this semester #about what next year should look like and I have decided a mix of continuity is best. I won't be working for my 'main' schoolboard anymore #but I will continue to teach and direct for the one program in the city (the one I did the play for) and possibly with a new home school #enrichment program that may go ahead this year if there are sufficient numbers. Otherwise I am going to spend a semester #tutoring and running workshops f I can get it off the ground. Then we'll see.#Anyway - admin wants me to get new syllabi in to them within a month's time so my thoughts are all in that direction!#I get to teach 19th/20th century Canadian history to the middle schoolers and Late Antique/Medieval Church History to the high schoolers!#Also direct another play and do a humanities course centred around an epic in the spring (the last couple of years we've done Iliad and #Odyssey - they want Aeneid this year but I am trying to talk them into another option. The Aeneid is valuable but I am not sure it's the #time or place with this group of students. The result of all this is that I am spending far too much time doing Internet research for ideas #and then taking breaks on tumblr - which isn't good for my eyes or mental health. What with the play and end of term #I fear I've been out of the reading habit. I'm still hyperfixating on the Book of Romans so there's that at least #but I lost the novel I was in the middle of and am not feeling so motivating with out books. It's a proper reading slump! I need a kickstar #of sorts. Feel free to yell at me that I should pick up a book!

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spaceshipkat · 1 month

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#look i have no idea where i stand on the idea of heaven (or indeed afterlives and whatnot)#as an agnostic person raised v v v lutheran #(aka my mom worked at our church and my first two jobs were w the church—first helping in the kitchen and then in the nursery w the babies)#(and i was also in the choir to sing and the bell choir playing the itty bitty handbells at the highest octaves)#(basically my siblings and i were at the church pretty much every day of the week)#BUT. TO CEASE WITH RAMBLING.#my eldest brother died eight years ago (we realized my older brother is now the age our eldest brother was when he died)#and it doesn’t really affect me much anymore. i still miss him but it’s not awful yknow?#you never stop missing them but it gets easier to live without them etc etc #however this morning i woke up w depression bc the brain chemistry said ‘ha fuck you’#but i remember i had a dream last night about my eldest brother and the only thing from that dream that i remember #is him hugging me. like a huge fucking bear hug like i haven’t had since he died.#and i have been a Mess all day as a result bc fucking hell thats what i needed #just a huge fucking bear hug from him #ANYWAY. i have two thousand words to cut from this edit letter due tomorrow so byeee gonna go continue to be a Mess

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myglassesareinkansas · 9 months

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I’ve never dogsat a puppy before, much less one that was only 16 weeks old, and I am. Very overwhelmed

#k speaks #i’m not kidding when i say i’m genuinely considering asking friends to help me for the first week #just like a revolving door of friends #i even asked my parents to come and stay with me for an extra week bc i’m already sleep deprived and overwhelmed #i don’t have time to myself anymore #and these are my last two weeks before i move and like #i won’t have any time to adjust to being on my own by then #he’s cute when he’s asleep but only then #and i feel really bad for saying it but i don’t like him #i’m now gonna have a scar on my leg bc he wouldn’t stop jumping and i couldn’t get him down and he ended up scratching me #he barked for an hour bc i put him in his crate for bedtime and then pouted bc i needed to take a shower #how am i supposed to make food or sleep or shower or go to church or any of these things #i need sleep but i also need my me time #he was SUPPOSED to be in the other room for bedtime but then he cried. for an hour #the thing is!!! the other dog is fine!!! i love that dog!!! he’s never given me problems before #but the puppy is. a lot #anyways i’ve decided i don’t want pets or kids lol can you believe it

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justthatspiffy · 2 months

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#my mom's cousin calls us every sunday to chat #she is mentally handicapped and so sometimes doesn't pick up on things #and she loves talking about church #and she asks if i went to church #and most weeks i'll say nope #and she'll say why #and i'll say i didn't feel like it or i was working on a project #and today she said why didn't you feel like it #and i said it didn't make me feel good #and she said why #and i said i'm in a fight with god and we need some space #and she's quiet and her brain is buffering #and she's like will you feel like going next week #and i'm like probably not #and she's like why not #and i said well god's pretty big so a fight with god is pretty big #and her brain buffers some more #and then bless her she was so concerned if i was doing okay #and internally i was like girl i have to be we can't have this conversation #anyway lots of people describe their leaving religion experience as filled with anger #but i'm just here years of slowly slogging through mud #i might be ready for proper anger soon i think to some extent it's warranted #but idk it's a lot

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thatoneluckybee · 4 months

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I'm about to start throwing things

:3

#Context is light hearted #im back on adhd meds (only take them during school days) after break so I can't really eat much during the school day so the past two days #I have been dying by the time I get home (hUNGY)#But #but the Madre is a teacher and she has a meeting that was SUPPOSED TO LAST 20 MINUTES SINCE WE GOT CHURch #HELP ITS BEEN AN HOUR #the ladies there wONT STOP TALKING ITS TAKING FOREVER #waaaaaaasnsnnnnngndhdhhhh suffering #How do I communicate to the body that there is literally no food for u to have yet be patient stOP WITH THE OUCH OKAY #rahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im bored help #Rambles #This is the funniest way I've been miserable this week #Laying on some strangers couch mindlessly browsing tumblr just wanna eat the fruit snacks in the car #I can't go out to the car :( not yet #Ahahhgggghhhhggghh #ow #anyways

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buckttommy · 4 months

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I'm isolating myself again 😐

#Being a human being is so HARD #Literally just go outside #I was talking to my mom yesterday and I was just like. I have enormous difficulty leaving the house #and it's a problem #but I don't want it to become a bigger problem #but it's already a Problem #Anyways #There's a Christmas party happening at church tonight. I'm not going.#I should #like everything in me is screaming to just stop being ridiculous and leave my house #but I'm like mmmm. no.#and sometimes I think it would be easier if someone just came into my house and forced me to go out like my ex best friend used to #but alas #I'm fucking stuck and I've used up all my bravery for the week #Ugh.#jack.txt

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 1 year

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shenanigans 24-karat Harrison will do:

- steal a man’s moped

- sleep in a church

- chase after a man he thinks might be lonan

#the moped thing is 100% because I saw #someone on a teal moped #and was like ah yes Harrison is going to Have one of those #church thing is going to lead to #sad in a church scene 1 #very excited about writing mass that I may just well watch myself a mass for funsies #unrelated but as a child #used to go to mass every week #but I guess my mom figured I’d be a menace to the Christians #so she’d pack colouring books snacks etc #and my dad used to play piano every Saturday (we were Saturday mass people)#so I’d draw pictures for my dad #while sitting on the pew (um hi that’s a short story image)#(and drawing on the bench like it was a desk LOL)#and when it was Eucharist Time I’d drop them off for him awww #anyway sometimes I have deep visions of my church’s tabernacle #sat right by it and I stared at that shit all the time it was pretty lol #now I realize why I Am also Lonan this is so lonancore oh my god

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soldier-poet-king · 1 year

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Sunday SCARIES no longer confined to Sunday. It's just ever day of the week now and that's what I call OCD :)

#franposting #3 guessed what ive done at my desk this morning at work #compulsive thought checking???? rereading 10 commandments of the scrupulous? going over every single action of the last week???#panicking at the thought of mass ane communion yesterday? maybe my freak out in the communion line was consicence and not scruples?#and i shouldnt have pushed thru it to receieve anyway? and im not doubting both the graveness of the matter and the full will and intent?#but instead im ACTUALLY horrible and bad and just compiling it on worse by Not Dealing With It???#all my childhood and teenage religious instruction about hell vs. what ocd treatment and ERT says to do. fight.#WE HATE IT HERE #litcherally. jealous of the non denoms. no confession??? no INSTITUTIONAL MECHANISM OF DOUBT????A #ik ik its a disease and would latch onto smthn else if i wasn't in a church with confession #But STILL #oh besties i am suffering on this tired monday morning

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hydrachea · 7 months

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Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?

Please offer me eggs at any time for any reason I'm always open to receive eggs.

#and if that sounded like an innuendo that's because it was fully intended to #... i forgot to go back to scalegorge waterscape and check more eggs...#i'll say my excuse is my friend being over for the next few weeks #anyway. EGG.#ask #answer #blood-orange-juice #i love egg #the game is spoiling me by having them just There for me to have thoughts about that'd make the next church i visit spontaneously implode

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risingsunresistance · 2 years

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my aunt's sunflowers finally bloomed but. well im no expert but they look like they could use some work kdhfjhd. it's been raining way too much and the heat has been insane so maybe that has something to do with their skinny petals. it's her first time trying to grow flowers on her own tho, she's so happy they bloomed :]

here's some more flowers from her house, just bc they're pretty and i wanna share