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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 3 years

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I Melt With You - Bakugou Katsuki

All Parts:

Part 10:

“Hey, Bakugou.” You greet easily, waving at him. “Can you believe it?”

“Jesus- what the hell are you on about now?”

“Nothing. Just, this marks the third time I’ve seen you without injury. Good on you buddy, setting a personal record and everything.”

He huffs, pushing off the wall. Bakugou is without his costume, clad in just normal sweats. The sight makes you feel a little bad- it was obviously his day off, but there he was working. Sacrificing his time for you.

“Fuck you.” He grumbles, without any bite. “Seriously. Fuck you.”

“C’mon, grumpy, don’t get so huffy.” You say playfully. “I was mostly joking, but I did mean it. I think I like you a whole lot better when there’s no blood involved.”

He starts to smile, just for a second, before he quickly evens his expression. It’s like he’s trying to hide the fact that it was there at all, quickly spinning around and starting off at a brisk pace.

“Woah, slow down, no need to run, speedy. I’ll take it back if you’re so allergic to me being nice.”

Bakugou doesn’t respond, but he does slow down. Just minutely. Hardly even at all if you really think about it, but hey, at least you’re not basically running after him anymore.

“What’s got you so cheery, hah?” He asks after a beat, making an intentional point not to make eye contact. “It’s late- you’re not tired again?”

His tone catches you off-guard, something accusatory underneath that has you scrunching your nose. You’re not exactly sure what he’s getting at, but you can read his prickly tone for what it is- Bakugou is making fun of you.

“No. I’m actually not tired, thank you very much.”

“That’s not what you were saying last night.”

“You know, that sentence from anyone else would offend me- but from you?” You scoff, squinting your eyes at him. “Well, I’m sure it was meant as an insult, not an insinutation; so I’ll refrain from calling you a pig. For now.”

“Call me anything and see where it gets ya, leech.”

“What’re you gonna do? Fight me?”

“Please, it wouldn’t be a fight.” He snorts, kicking at a rock in the road. It flies down the alley, all the way past the streetlamp’s glow. “See? I’d slaughter you.”

“Yes! Probably!" You say in faux exasperation. "But it’s because you have way more practice at slaughtering people! I don’t know why you’re bragging about that- that’s totally not something normal people brag about!”

You throw your hands up, gesturing wildly, and Bakugou just sort of watches you. Doesn’t really react other than to evade one of your errant hands. You just barely miss him, the tips of your fingers clipping the fabric of his sweatshirt.

“What- nothing? You’ve got nothing to say about that? Course you don’t- because you’re proud of slaughtering people. Is that it? Huh?”

“I’m proud of winning.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Close enough.” He shrugs. “'Sides, it’s not my fault I wasn’t listenin’. Ya said so many damn words to me.”

“That’s so rude! You-“

Seeing his smile, you cut yourself off half-way. It should hardly even count as a smile, really, it’s much more of a smirk- something entirely self-indulgent and dripping with arrogance. You’re not sure if you wanna punch him in the mouth or giggle.

“You jerk. You’re messing with me!” On impulse, you knock your shoulders into his. Bakugou doesn’t flinch- nor does he budge whatsoever. “You’re just being mean on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Course.”

“Why? Just, I don’t know, be nice?”

“Fuck that. No thanks.”

“You incredibly rude- you know that?”

“And you’re fuckin’ annoying.” He retorts, knocking his shoulders into yours. Bakugou smirks when you stumble. “See- I’d murder you in a fight.”

“No one was debating that!”

He just bites his lip, throwing his head back. It’s like Bakugou is trying to hide his smile; exposing the strong column of his throat to you, pale skin gone 10 shades of gold under the streetlamp.

It steals the breath from your lungs- how devastatingly beautiful he can be. You have to tear your eyes away.

“Hey, Bakugou, it’s your day off right?”

He eyes you a little strangely. “Yes? Why?”

“Geez- Don’t be so suspicious.” You laugh. “I only asked because I was curious.”

“The hell you have to be curious about?”

“Just what you’d be doing right now otherwise- you know, if you weren’t stuck walking me-“

“‘m not stuck. Wouldn’t do this if I didn’t need to.”

“Yeah, but still.” You take a breath. “What I mean, is that, I’m sorry if this is burdening you. I know this probably isn’t what you wanted to do on your day off.”

He eyes you, sniffing for a moment while he juts his chin out. “Eh- it’s fine. Walking this far outta my way is good excercise anywa-“

“This far? Oh my god- are you serious? Where do you live?”

“Far enough.”

“Bakugou.” You say sternly, staring him down. You’re well aware he’s not a man who’s easily scolded into revealing the truth, but damn if you weren’t going die trying. “Seriously- how far?”

“Fuck’s it matter to you for?”

“Because it just does! Now, c’mon really, I’m gonna feel like, super bad if you say you’ve gotta take a train her-“

“No train, so quit bitching.” He scans the street for a moment, before turning back to look at you. “Not that far. Half an hour, maybe, if I was running.”

“If you were running? What about walkin-“

“Not walking so it doesn’t matter.”

“It does!”

“It fuckin’ doesn’t-“

Then he’s standing ram-rod straight, slapping an open palm over your stomach and pushing you back. You’re flying back into the shadows, back slamming against the brick wall. Gasping, air knocked clean out of your lungs, it’s all you can do to keep your eyes open and watch him leave.

Bakugou hardly even looks back before he’s soaring past the end of the alley, explosions igniting under his palms. There’s no one, all is quiet, silent and tense and then- bam.

A mottled mass of muscles and pulsating flesh barrels through the building beside Bakugou. Debris rains down onto the street, down onto the exact spot you were standing moments ago. The flying detrius knocks Bakugou off course, and the blonde hardly dodges before the creature is slinging fists his way.

“Shouldn’t’a been makin’ such a scene!” Bakugou is all smirks and haughty confidence, seamlessly twisting and dodging the creature’s strikes. “Gave yourself away- I’ve got you now!”

Even breathless and winded, you can’t help but stare. Bakugou truly is something else- a terrifying bullet in the air, bordering on frenetic as he dodges. He’s so fast you’re worried he’ll catch fire. There’s a reckless sort of smile on his face, stretching his lips back around canines you’re sure are sharper than before. He’s throws his left palm out, explosion recoil throwing him just past the creature’s next attack. It’s enough of an opening for Bakugou to surge in, flashbang fingertips making contact with the beast’s abdomen.

“Really, that’s all?” He challenges, grinning like mad when the beast flies back from the impact. “No strategy at all? That’s not gonna fuckin’ work!”

And then he looks back at you, just for a singular moment, while the beast is bent over from his previous blow. The sight nearly knocks the air out of your lungs all over again.

Bakugou is terrifying. Manic and bloodthirsty and feverish almost, chest heaving with every labored breath. There’s something wild in his eyes, coloring his features in blood that hasn’t even been spilled yet. It’s intimidating and scary and overwhelming, but he’s dazzling too. A crazed smile, so blinding and brilliant, that it leaves an after-image long after he’s blasted away again.

Something snaps in you then, and you’re diving behind the nearest dumpster. It’s a little gross and cramped, but you hear plaster cracking around you, and suddenly it’s not so bad anymore. Your eyes are wide, watching the battle- and even when hidden it still feels too close.

Your heart is trapped in your throat, a battering ram even as you try to catch your breath. Everything is loud, and chaotic, and you’ve never been this close to a real battle before. It scares you. You clasp your hands around your ears, trying to block out the gargling and explosions. It’s not enough, your breath still picking up as explosion impact rattles the asphalt beneath your feet.

“You’re done!” You hear him shout, and suddenly the air goes white and hot, and bright.

You screw your eyes shut, and bite back a scream as an explosion rattles every surrounding window. The sound swallows everything, and the light show is even worse. Even through your eyelids it’s blazing. Bright enough to have you diving to the ground and tucking your head between your knees.

Then it’s quiet. Complete silence other than the ringing in your ears. You hear impact, a warbled groan, and then the sound of his voice.

“You fucker.” He roars. “I’m fuckin’ busy, you weak bitch, can’t ya fuckin’ see that?”

Another thud. Another groan.

“All this shit for some cash? Just get a job, you fuckin’ loser. Like the goddamn rest of us.”

You peak your head over the dumpster, and see Bakugou standing tall over the collapsed body. You’re not entirely sure how the villian’s quirk operates, but the mass of flesh is deflating by the second, leaving behind a skinny mess of bones and sinew.

“A front, hah? Pathetic.” Bakugou sneers, grinding his teeth before he snaps. “On your fuckin’ feet weakling- ‘m taking you in.”

Bakugou hauls the skinny man to his feet, trapping rail-thin arms tight to the man’s back. It’s only then that you choose to emerge, staggering slighty on your shaking legs. It’s like you’ve got tremors- your body practically bowled over by the sheer amount of adrenaline coursing through your veins.

“H-help- I didn’t-“ The skinny man starts, before Bakugou is sending a knee into the base of his spine.

“Don’t speak to her, you shit-stain.” Bakugou curls his lip. “Shut the hell up.”

You’re not really sure what to do then- caught between wanting to high-tail it in the complete opposite direction, and surging towards Bakugou. Because, if you weren’t certain before, you definitely were now; Bakugou knew what he was doing. And if worst ever came to worst, he’d stay true to all his threats. Nobody was getting to you while he was around.

“Follow. C’mon.” Bakugou nods towards the end of the street. “Police station. You know where it is. Let’s get the hell to it already.”

You just start walking- almost on autopilot. There’s a weird fuzz settling in your brain, the adrenaline seeping and leaving nothing but exhaustion behind. It’s disorienting because you weren’t even part of the fight- Bakugou had shoved you back long before you could have ever been in any real danger.

You’re not sure how he knew- how he could have possibly predicted the villain coming through the wall, but even still, you’re gratetful. Because you’re not hurt, only frazzled where you would’ve been massacred without him there.

Bakugou waits for you to pass him by, and only once you’re a good few steps ahead, does he start shoving his prisoner forward. The walk is tense and silent, the only noise being the occasional pained groan from the skinny man. There’s an undeniable air of intimidation coming from Bakugou, rolling off his skin and permeating every spare inch of air. It only adds more stress to an already harrowing situation.

The police station lies just where you remembered it, but you’ve never been this close before. You’d only seen it down the end of the street as you passed by- only through the fuzzy haze of exhaustion after your shift ended. Now there’s nothing hazy about it- just a stark white building and big glass doors. Big glass doors that Bakugou is surging through, prisoner in tow, and ordering you to stay behind.

When he’s through the door, it’s like your heart finally starts to catch up. You can feel it’s thud slow against you ribs, no longer jumping at every slight sound. You eyelids feel heavy, further weighed down by the headache you feel coming on. You lean against the wall of the station, bending slightly at the waist as you ground the heels of your palm against your temple.

“All good?” You hear his voice some time later, Bakugou’s footsteps heavy as he approaches. “You get hurt?”

“No- ‘m fine.” You chew your cheek, straightening as you look up at him. “I think.”

He studies you for a moment, red eyes flitting across your face. Bakugou grimaces. “You’re shaking.”

“Yeah. Was scared.”

“It’s fine now.” He huffs, frustration lacing his features. Bakugou clenches his hand, releases, and repeats twice over before he speaks again. “Got ‘em already, so you can chill the hell out now. Alright?”

“Yeah- yeah sure.”

You try to agree, but your voice doesn’t sound right when it leaves your throat. It’s a little too hoarse, empty of almost all inflection. You’re not particularly pleased with it and Bakugou is even less so.

“You need a few minutes or something?” He pinches the bridge of his nose, like even asking the question pains him. “Need to call somebody?”

Bakugou looks incredibly uncomfortable- eyes shifting around wildly and refusing to settle. All of his battlefield-confidence, even that self-assured smirk seems to have disappeared entirely. He huffs a pained breath and leans back against the wall next to you. His shoulders are just barely touching yours, voice pinched and tense when he speaks.

“I know it’s loud- but it’s over now. Now you just go home, and you sleep. Nothing is gonna happen to you.” Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Bakugou tilts his head skyward. He grinds his teeth, once, twice, and smooths out his grimace. “And I’ll fuckin’ be there so don’t go spiraling about it, alright? You’re safe now.”

You nod, rolling your lips together for a moment. He’s not meeting your eyes, not even attempting to, but you can’t help but stare. Can’t help but track all the lines of his face; the way his nose slopes, and the set of his eyebrows. He doesn’t look like before. Not crazed, or manic, or brutal. He’s just Bakugou. Maybe a little grumpy, but mostly just uncomfortable- exactly the way you’ve come to know him.

Something in you settles at bit at that.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. Let's go." You kick off the wall, putting one foot in front of the other. "I'm more than ready to be home."

Bakugou just watches you, and you can see him reach a hand out before immediately dropping it. His lip curls up in disgust- and that just confuses you. You wonder where the Bakugou from a few minutes ago went; the one who seemed so entirely sure of himself.

"Faster." He says, overtaking you in one long stride. "Stallin' around at night is never a good idea."

You suppose he's right, but you never would've believed him before.

Prior to tonight, you had never been a part of a villain attack. You hadn't even seen a villain on anything other than TV re-runs. Your neighborhood was quiet, the streets never holding any danger, even at night. Now, though, every shadow seems suspicious, every sound a precursor for something far worse. Your well aware you just got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time that night, but that didn't make the reality any easier to handle. If Bakugou hadn't been there, if he hadn't show up dead on your balcony months ago, then you would've been gravely injured by all that falling debris.

The thought makes you feel weak all over again. Has your fingers curling in your gloves- itchy and uncomfortable and helpless.

You're quiet as you walk, caught up in a million spiraling thoughts. Bakugou doesn't seem keen on conversation either, keeping a few paces ahead and scanning for other danger. Occasionally he'll turn back, check to make sure you're following, and all you can really offer is a nod and a shaky sort of smile. It doesn't satisfy him at all- you can see that every time he sets his jaw.

"Oi- Leech." He snaps in front of your eyes, waving his hand back and forth. "It's- stop lookin' like that already. All freaked the fuck out. You look ridiculous."

His haughty tone as your blood warming, fingers clenching at your sides as you walk. You're not sure what reaction he's after, but all you can really think to do is get angry.

"I am freaked out! You were there! You saw that guy! He was huge!" You snap, squinting your eyes and waving your hands around. "If you weren't- I- what am I supposed to do when that shit happens? Huh? I can't fight, and even if I could I wouldn't, so what am I supposed to-"

"Nothing." He interrupts. "You do nothing, and you hide. Like you did."

"Yes, because you pushed me! If you hadn't I would've been crushed by all that- and how on Earth did you even know he was coming?"

"Vibrations. In the ground." He squints at you, a little confused. "Did you not-"

"No!"

"Damn," He huffs a laugh, shaking his head. "You really couldn't feel that? Jesus, you really are clueless. No wonder you were so freaked out."

In that moment, you're a little sure you could strangle him. All his skill you'd seen earlier suddenly didn't matter at all, and you were sure you could take him down with nothing but rage alone.

He- vibrations? You didn't feel anything! You felt nothing and even if you had, you would've assumed it was an earthquake. No one except for him and his battle-addled brain would've ever assumed it was a villain of all things!

"Calm down," He seems to be fighting a smile, lip twitching up. "You look fuckin' ridiculous right now. 'm not scared of you, leech."

"You should be! I'm about to strangle you right now-"

"For what?"

"For- for- I don't know! You just make me so angry with your 'Oh, you didn't feel that?' bullshit!" You tilt your voice lower, coating it in gravel to mimic him. "Of course I didn't feel anything! I'm not like you- I don't have freaky super-human instincts and explosions and I can't just go fight somebody!"

True to his word, your outburst doesn't seem to scare him. If anything if seems to pull the smile from him more, lips pulling back into a grin even he has no chance of hiding.

"There she is." He stuffs his hands in his pockets, falling back a little to walk right beside you. "Thought you'd gone into shock or somethin'."

"So you- on purpose?"

"Said that shit about vibrations? Yeah." His smile turns wolfish, all sharp canines and pink gums. "There were no fuckin' vibrations, idiot. I heard the plaster cracking."

In that moment you're the surest you've ever been- you were going to murder Bakugou Katsuki.

"You dick!"

Your hands are out before you can stop them, shoving forcefully at his side. He just looks at you, rolling his eyes, and then decides to let you tip him sideways off the curb. It's the worst kind of victory- a pity one that he let you have.

"Chill out, already." He laughs. "Only said shit so you'd stop bein' all miserable. You should be fuckin' thankin' me."

"I'm not thanking you!"

He steps forward, one long stride eclipsing you entirely. Then he spins, facing you with another crooked grin, and you're digging your heels into the cement to avoid crashing directly into his chest.

"I said-" He starts, hands in his pockets and leaning forward until he's practically towering over you. "You should be thanking me."

His voice is low, sly and challenging as he grins. He looks positively predatory- but attractive too. The worst kind that leaves your heart stuttering in your chest for almost no discernable reason.

"G-get away from me." You fluster, taking a step back. "I'm not thanking you."

He shrugs, falling back to a safe distance. You don't miss it though- the way his grin goes just a little wider, entirely satisfied. He won, and he knows it.

"Suit yourself, then leech." He says, voice light. "If ya wanna mouth off so much, then 'm not fuckin' saving you next time."

He says the words, but you're almost entirely sure he doesn't mean them. Not with the way he is now- beaming and pleased under the moonlight. You wonder if he always gets like this; so happy just after a victory. It's the kind of sight that almost makes the entire ordeal worth it. Almost.

You walk through the doors of your apartment, shuddering a long sigh of relief. The walls feel safe, security and peace etched into familiar walls. Even with Bakugou stomping behind you, the serenity isn't disturbed all that much. He's still in his rare good mood apparently, and he doesn't even grumble whatsoever.

Truth be told, you're still a little shaken, but the interior of your apartment puts you at ease. Even if you don't feel nearly as infallible as before, home is a good feeling- it always is.

"You know- you know that you just got unlucky, right?" Bakugou seems to struggle for a moment, kicking the door shut behind him. "It's- that's- shit like that doesn't usually happen here."

You're not sure where his sentiment is headed, and he must see it on your face. He flares his nostrils, sighing something long-suffering and dramatic.

"I'm sayin'- that wasn't part of anything else. It was just the one idiot, so it's not any more dangerous here than it used to be. 'm sayin' don't waste your time worryin' about that shit."

Something in you warms a bit- just a fraction. You're not sure how he knew, how he always seems to know just what you're thinking, but at this moment you don't care to find out. There are some comforts better left experienced instead of studied- and you figure this might be one of them.

You smile, something soft and fond. "I take it back- I will thank you. So thank you. I'm sure I'd be a lot worse off if you weren't around."

You watch him fluster, watch him itch in his skin and shift his weight around. Eventually he settles on turning his back, moving towards your fridge as he speaks.

"Probably. You froze up completely- woulda been piss poor job performance to let you get killed." He's swinging the fridge door open, and the white light just makes it more apparent- his cheeks are pink. "Got ice packs in here somewhere?"

"I-Ice packs?"

"Yeah. Knuckles are gonna bruise up if I don't ice 'em."

You look a little closer then, at his fingers curled around the handle of your fridge. His knuckles are a little swollen, bruised up and red where the skin had split. It doesn't look too bad, much less serious than any other injury he'd come to you with, but that doesn't change the itching in your own fingers. You want to help him- now more than ever it seems.

"Shit- sorry." You breathe out, nearing a little to get a closer look. "I was so freaked I didn't even think about asking- are you okay? You're okay, right? Nothing else, no bones or blood or-"

"Calm down. 'm fine."

You look at him again, squinting for eyes for a moment. He just rolls his own, extending his arms out and flipping them. He was telling the truth- there's only one other scratch on him, and even that was already scabbed over. The only issue were his knuckles- and that sets you at ease.

"You want me to wrap them for you?" You ask, looking up at him. "Oh wait- actually, you'd probably want to do that yourself, huh? Since you're not on the brink of death this time and actual-"

"You do it."

"Huh?"

"I said- you do it." He won't meet your eyes, turning back to your fridge and opening it up once more. He makes himself right at home, grabbing one of the water bottles off the shelf without asking. "Did it all the other times, so you do it. Don't think you're gonna get away with cuttin' corners on me."

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant, that I know you find it annoying when I'm all fussy so I just-"

"Shut up already. You continuing to run your mouth is the only thing that's annoying me right now."

You're about to retort, something offended and assuredly juvenile, but you decide against it. That night had been filled with far too much conflict for your liking, and you weren't about to incite more of it. If he wanted you to wrap his knuckles, then you'd wrap his knuckles. You figured it's the least you could do for him.

Turning your back on him, you start for the bathroom, and the first aid kit inside. A part of you considers just permanently moving the kit into the kitchen, but that sort of seems like you're just inviting more misfortune. You keep hoping that one day you'll stop having to patch Bakugou up at all, but from the looks of it, that isn't likely. Not even a little bit considering his obvious bloodlust.

"You wanna-" You start, walking back into the kitchen. You're shocked into stillness by the sight of him searching through your cupboards. "Um, what exactly are you doing?"

"Hungry."

"Okay, caveman, I just- you're not seriously trying to cook right now are you?" You near him, hands hovering in the air. You're sure he wouldn't appreciate it, but a large part of you just wants to grab at his shoulders and shove him away from everything. "Stop that- lemme get you fixed up first. Then I can call for something. I'm not gonna let you exert yourself any more than you already have."

Bakugou seems a little perturbed by that, whipping his head around until you can see wild red eyes. You almost sigh; what you wouldn't give for him to just chill out for once.

"I'm not saying you can't cook. You probably could, I don't know." You near a little more, dropping the first aid kit onto the countertop. "I'm saying, you've already done enough today, and you deserve to take it easy. So let me help you by wrapping your hands up. That's all."

Bakugou's in the midst of another internal struggle, before he visibly forgoes it. His shoulder's drop and the tension leaks until he's settling into one of your dining chairs. He sets his hands out on the table, clearing his throat at you until you kick into motion.

At this point, cleaning up his hands is practically a daily chore. You've gone through the motions more than enough times to be adjusted, but even still, his hands still freak you out a little. You'd never seen anyone who radiated so much heat- even just being next to him was like sitting in front of an open flame.

Your fingers are gentle, skidding over his hands with feather-light touches. He seems to slump in his chair, eventually just laying his head on the outstretched arm you weren't actively working on. He watches you closely the entire time though, red eyes burning holes into the side of your head.

"Do it again." He says. "Too loose. Do it again."

You're half-way through wrapping his right hand, only a small amount of bandage left. Not only would you have to do the bandage over entirely, but you'd have to unwrap it completely first.

"You always say that," You mutter, exasperation coloring your voice. "What makes it so much better the second time around, huh? I do it the exact same."

"It's just better. Takes longer."

You're not really sure what he means by that, and Bakugou doesn't look all that thrilled that he said the words at all. He jumps in his chair, cheeks gone pink as he digs his face into the skin of his arm. He's hiding.

It strikes you as even but odd, but you shrug off the strangeness all the same. You're getting far too used to his particular brand of bizarre.

"All better now?" You goad, patting the bandage after you've finished re-wrapping. "Everything feel nice and perfect for Prince Bakugou?"

He lifts his head. "You're not funny."

"You always say that too. But it's okay, I know one day you'll finally come around and appreciate me."

He just laughs under his breath, but he smiles too. Grins something tiny and small that he hides in his shoulder.

You start finishing up his other hand, and Bakugou doesn't say anything otherwise. He just sits, resting his head on his arm, and watching you intently. He's all calm and even breathing, chest rising and falling in perfect rhythm. You'd thought him adrenaline-crazed earlier, but it seemed he was coming off of that high rapidly. You could feel the exhaustion too- almost lulled by your movements just as much as he was.

You start gathering away all of your materials, and he doesn't even move. Just sits in perfect stillness at your table.

"I- I didn't accidentally touch you right? That's not why you're like that?" You ask, smothering a yawn. "Super exhausted, I mean."

He shakes his head. "Nah. Normal tired. Didn't fuck up this time, leech."

You don't have it in you to respond, hardly even rolling your eyes at his remark. His jabs don't hold much bite anymore- you begin to wonder if he's actually getting nicer or if you're just growing a ridiculous tolerance.

You brush off the thought, pushing away from your table and rising from the chair. "You still hungry?"

"Yeah. Wanna sleep first though so don't worry about it."

"Okay; well, I'm definitely going to so-"

"I said don't." He supplies evenly, finally sitting up in his seat. "It's fine. 'm not fuckin' starvin' or anything."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

His insistence sells you, but you're not sure if it's because you actually believe him or because you just want to. Either way, you figure it doesn't matter much in the end, not to the way your limbs are quickly bowing to exhaustion. You feel the fatigue settling in, and you'd like to blame that for your next actions.

"C'mon then, sleep time, I guess." You say.

Then you cross the kitchen, passing behind him, dropping your hand on his shoulder. You hardly let it sit, just running your thumb over his shirt once, twice, and then continuing on your way.

He takes several seconds to finally follow you into the living room. Enough to have you looking back in confusion, unable to understand why he looked so very stunted where he still sat.

"Jesus, you're annoying." He finally grumbles, rubbing at his eyes.

His steps are loud as he crosses the room, stopping just a few inches in front of you. He grabs at your arm, raising your wrist himself and plucking the glove off in one fluid grab. It if wasn't so sudden an action- so ridiculous and fast and borderline violent, you might have even been flustered.

As it was though, he just grabbed your wrist before you could really register it.

Familiar warmth floods your veins. The same burning, slow heat that makes it;s way through each vein and artery. You think maybe your knuckles ache a little bit too, but it's too hard to tell through your quickly increasing sleep fog.

Bakugou lets you go pretty quick, falling back on your couch in almost the same moment.

"Better?" You ask, mirth warming your words. "Had to do it yourself because I was taking too long?"

"No, 'cause you pissed me off."

"Doing what?"

"You know what you're fuckin' doing."

Then he's grabbing the blanket, settling it over himself gracelessly while he flops over. He's face-first into the cushions now, effectively ending the conversation in much the way he typically does- by refusing to engage entirely.

You just roll your eyes a litItle fondly, still not even beginning to understand.

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ooooo boy i am so sorry y'all for this late uPDATe,,, pls i usually update my fics way faster than this but sometimes life rlly just do be happenin lmaoooooo

n e wayz, ty for reading and supporting my work!! y'all are the absolute best i could ever ask for!!!

#bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou bnha #bakugou mha #bakugou x reader #bakugou fanfiction #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x self insert #bakugou x you #bakugou fic #bnha fic #mha fic #bakugou imagine

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inactiveanimeblog · 3 years

Text

shikamaru x reader fic

“change” chapter one

tw : smoking, alcohol

brooo i’m honestly so sorry this took forever but dont worry next chapters won’t take as long at all, i already have them planned out. and just a heads up there will be smut in this story, not this chapter but possibly chapter three.

eh i don’t really like the way this chapter came out but i can promise better in the future ones.

warnings: for now just alcohol, weed, and swearing

shikamaru and you had been best friends for as long as you both could remember. since you both had grown up together, through your parents being close friends, you and him were inseparable. you spent most of your childhood being around each other. but once you guys hit 16 years old things started to be different.

shikamaru started to drink, smoke, get tattoos, and flunk school. it was a miricale that he even graduated high school thanks to you tutoring him and completing his homework assignments. you on the other hand were a straight A student, a teachers pet, a quiet kid who didn’t party or do anything most teenagers around you were doing. you wanted to, but you were anxious and even a little scared that you werent ‘enough’ to be friends with others who were out having good times and enjoying their teen years. you were timid, you couldn’t be outgoing to save your life, so you watched from the sidelines.

once you graduated high school you traveled to another part of japan for eleven months to find yourself, learn to break out of your shell, and to switch up your style leaning more towards looking sexier and attractive. which meant leaving shikamaru behind to say goodbye for the time being. neither of you really talked when you left, in fact, you guys didn’t talk at all. you had missed him more than anything while he was well, being him. shikamaru messed around with girls, making them feel special, having sex with them, but he never put a label on their ‘relationship’. he would end things when he would get bored and find a new pretty girl to fuck, which left all the other girls broken hearted. you envied any girl he was involved with in a sexual way, you wanted him more than anything but you never told him. hell no. you could never tell him. he would never feel the same as you feel. there was no changing the way shikamaru was. he would never love and you knew that.

you came back to konaha a couple of weeks ago, settling into your new place, a nice little apartment, decorated in a modern manor, as well as starting to make friends in town through social media, slowly starting to go to parties and going out to clubs. you changed your look, dying your hair, getting a new piercing, switching up your style to something different, something new. you felt a lot better about yourself and you wondered if shikamaru would be interested in the way you looked. you weren’t confident, but the attention you’ve been getting from others lately hasn’t gone unnoticed.

hey shikamaru, i came back to konoha a few weeks ago finally! sorry i haven’t told you yet i’ve just been busy moving into my new place and stuff. we should hangout or something, it’s been so long since we seen eachother. you sent him a text, hoping that he would text you back wanting to make plans.

yeah we can link. i’m busy tonight but if you’re free tomorrow you can come by my place around 18:30 and we can catch up. you won’t be able to stay for long though.. maybe an hour at most. just lmk when you’re on the way. it took him a little while but he answered.

okay, that’s fine i have plans a little while afterwards so i won’t be able to stay long anyways. i’ll see you tomorrow and i’ll let you know when i’m on the way.

you were so excited to see him, butterflies already forming in the pit your stomach. you planned out a fit, the way you wanted your hair, and makeup. this was the time you and shikamaru would be able to catch up and maybe even become close friends again.

unfortunately shikamaru wasn’t too excited to see you. you guys haven’t talked in a long time and he saw no point or benefit to your friendship. he’s made a lot of new friends, other friends who are interested in the things he is and he’s been busy fucking new girls all the time. he thought it was such a drag that you wanted to hangout, and truth be told he wasn’t even gonna be busy tomorrow. he just didn’t want to waste his night hanging around you.

_______________________________________________

the next day you woke up around 11:30 am, starting off with eating a light breakfast, showering, shaving, and skin care. getting ready and facetiming your friend mikasa (hehe aot name but i love her name) to talk about how excited you were for first off going to see shikamaru for a little bit and second off going to a house party later that you guys were invited to.

“i’m so nervous ‘kasa, like what if he doesn’t like the way i look? or what if he thinks i’m weird now?” you sighed, brushing your fingers through your hair, checking yourself out in the mirror.

“it’ll be fine y/n! just try your best not to show your nervous. act like he isn’t intimidating at all. you look hot, nothing to be scared of.” she responded

“hm, you think so? are you sure i should wear this? i don’t wanna look like a try hard..”

“you don’t look like a try hard just mention to him that you’re hitting a party later he’ll get why you’re in a cute ass outfit. now go to his house, it’s already 18:07, don’t keep him waiting. he said he didn’t have much time anyways.”

“alright i’ll see you later tonight then.. wish me luck, i’ll let you know what happens. bye.”

“good luck and bye bitch! don’t have too much fun!” she answered while wiggling her eyebrows and hanging up the phone.

you texted shikamaru that you were on your way, he responded shortly saying to just knock when you got there.

third person point of view

“yo kiba, i have a girl coming over today.. she’s just an old friend. she’s shy so try not to scare her off. don’t smoke out in the living room while she’s here. i don’t need her getting uncomfortable. it’ll be such a drag listening to her get upset about the smoke.”

“say less, but is she hot? if she’s just an old friend let me make a move on her.” kiba answered hopping on the couch next to shikamaru.

“no. she’s not cute and you wouldn’t want her anywa-“ shikamaru was cut off by a light knock on the apartment door.

“can you go invite her in for me?”

“do you ever get off your lazy ass? whatever fine.” kiba said while getting up off the couch and walking towards the door.

kiba opened the door and didn’t say anything, he just stared down at y/n who looked back up at him confused clearly expecting shikamaru to answer. ‘not cute?’ kiba thought. ‘is shikamaru out of his MIND??’ surely this couldn’t be the girl shikamaru was talking about, shikamaru would have to be an idiot to not find her attractive. she was dressed in a sexy yet subtle outfit. she smelt nice and her hair looked so soft, her skin was like porcelain, delicate and smooth.

“uhh i’m sorry, who are you?” kiba asked

“oh- i umm, i’m y/n nice to meet you. i’m here to see shikamaru.. i’m at the right apartment, right?” shikamaru tried to look over at y/n but he couldn’t see much with kiba standing in front of the door. he looked back down at his phone and rolled his eyes.

“well? are you gonna let her in? i just told you i had company coming over two minutes ago. how burnt out are you?”

“oh right um come in, i’m kiba, shikamaru’s roommate by the way. make yourself at home.. shikamaru’s on the couch.” kiba stuttered out scratching the back of his neck and moving out of the way so y/n could entered.

“wow shikamaru your place looks nice. is it just you and your roommate living here?” y/n said.

shikamaru looked up from his phone to see her staring around the room and his first thought was ??? what the fuck ?

“y/n?” shikamaru said. he stared at her as she sat on the other couch, his eyes focused on her appearance.

“yeah?” y/n answered smiling back at him.

“nothing i just— you just look really different since i last seen you last. what have you been up to?” he asked still eyeing her up and down, blushing slightly. he felt a little weird, he wasn’t expecting his nerdy childhood best friend to look so good.

“i’ve been busy honestly, i finally moved into my new place and i’ve been going out with friends, it feels nice to finally be back home although i do miss traveling.” friends.. she has other friends now?

“what about you? what have you been up to?” she said still smiling, she looked beautiful, like she’s grown up.. grown into a women’s body, she’d grown into her face as well, no longer looking so babyish. her outfit was nice, showing some skin leaving little to the imagination. this was nothing like her.

“nothing really, just be doing the same old things.... you made some friends when you came back to konoha?”

“yeah i did, i made a few. you should meet them one day, we usually hit parties on the weekends or we’ll chill at one of our houses, drink and smoke or whatever. you would like them.” she exclaimed nodding her head slowly.

huh? wait she even drinks and smokes now? what happened to her? and what changed her when she left.. why was she so different now?

“you drink and smoke now? wow you really are different.”

“oh please” y/n giggled a bit. “i’m still the same old y/n, i’m no different only been living my life in other ways. i’ve been enjoying it ever since i left eleven months ago, you know? i’m having fun i guess.”

“well.. i honestly never expected the day where you would find drinking and smoking fun since you always used to scold me for it.” he said, rolling his eyes playfully, a grin forming on his lips.

“and by the way do you want something to drink, like a water or anything?”

“you know i was just inexpirienced back then shikamaru” she said placing her elbow on the couch arm rest, resting her cheek on her palm and she still had a cute small smile on her face.

“and i’m good, i’ll probably be leaving not too long from now anyways.”

“you in a rush?” shikamaru questioned, slightly raising one of his brows

“hm, kind of. i’m gonna go pregame at one of my friends houses tonight and get ready for a party.”

kiba walked in and sat next to her, he gave shikamaru a pointed look before butting in their conversation and replying “a party tonight huh? you gonna give us the invite?”

“well i mean if you guys wanna go it’s gonna be at 227 Clock Street, not far from here maybe a 15 minute drive. if they ask who you know just say you know me.” she said looking back at kiba “you shouldn’t have any problems. but also, i believe shikamaru said he was busy tonight. right shikamaru?”

“yeah.. well, i do have plans later. but i could just cancel them now, not really important anyways. i guess we could go out. do you think it’ll be a problem to bring others?”

“nope it shouldn’t be a problem at all. the more the merrier, and you and your friends will be able to meet mine tonight!” she said excitedly.

shikamaru excused himself to use the bathroom as kiba continued to talk to y/n and ask her about herself. it was so very obvious that kiba wanted to take her to his room and bend her over, but y/n being hella naive couldn’t tell.

shikamaru looked in the mirror while washing his hands. his eyebrows were scowled, and his eyes were dazed. never could he imagine something like this would happen where y/n would come out of her shell. where she would party. she was as sweet as ever still, she would always be a kind person. nothing could change that, but she wasn’t as quiet as she used to be. it was nice seeing her talk more, no longer stuttering out every other word.

‘if i bring my friends tonight and the rest meet her there’s no doubt she’ll be around more often. i already know they’re gonna be all over her, i’m just curious if she’s still innocent sex wise. last time i seen her she was definitely still a virgin. maybe i should ask her myself.’

#naruto headcanons #shikamaru nara #shikamaru x reader #shikamaru imagine #shikamaru nara x reader #naruto shippuden #naruto #naruto x reader #shikamaru imagines #shikamaru #shikamaru smut

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ilovedainironfoot · 3 years

Note

Hello my favorit dwarf.

The new reqest idea is so sweet ☺ can I reqest for 4 and Ori please

Glad you like it \*o*/

Ori x Reader ( platonic/friend)

4-“I miss moments like this more than anything.”

........................................................................................

"I miss moments like this more than anything." you mumble while collapsing on the dirty wet ground, muddy by the rain which does not stop falling since this morning.

"Moments like this ?" Ori grumbles softly beside you, dropping heavily as you do, stretching his legs sore from the long day's walk

The lure of adventure was your greatest motivation for joining Thorin's Company, but a carefree and naive part of you never thought for a moment that you would lose the ponies along the way ThAnKs You VeRy MucH FilI And KiLI I HaTe BoTh Of You and have to walk the rest of the way. With the bags on the back. None of the dwarves wanted to get rid of the extra stuff and in the end Bifur and Dwalin gave you THREE extra bags, in addition to yours, to carry. For a week the whole company had been walking from morning to night, from the first light of dawn until night fell. Your feet ended up bleeding after the third day, your shoes not at all adapted to this kind of rhythm. Not to mention your muscles that were just begging for a break and to die easy.

Ori wasn't doing well either. The young dwarf confided to you, the evening of the second day, that he had to insist with Dori to be able to carry his own bags:

"I'm not a kid anymore and I have to prove myself!" he grumbled "Dori has a lot of trouble with that!"

Double punishment for him because in the slightest sign of exhaustion on his part, everyone knew that Dori was going to throw himself on him to unload his bags and carry everything for him, whether Ori agreed or not. He was obliged to be careful.

"Yes, moments like this." you make a vague gesture towards the other dwarves, Gandalf and Bilbo, your body still lying on the filthy ground.

Ori follows your gesture with his eyes and after a while, a tired smile appears on his face :

"Aye...i think I understand..."

Gloin sings softly, his expert hands making the fire appear in the middle of the camp and very quickly Bofur starts to sing with him while preparing the pot and next to them Bombur cuts and slices the food to the rhythm of the song. Oin and Bifur take care of poor, rain-chilled Bilbo, offering him their own clothes that are warmer than his Hobbit vest. Dori, Balin and Nori are chatting a bit in their corner, enjoying every second of rest they have between now and daybreak. Dwalin, Thorin and Gandalf are once again bickering about the road ahead. Fili and kili are already asleep.

What about you? At the edge of the sleep you turn the head towards Ori and you sketch a weak smile. Already the pen and the paper in hand, the scribe had already begun a sketch of the campfire.

"I don't believe it !" you laugh "Even at death's door you would find the strength to write!"

"Just because you just made fun of me, you won't be in my drawing."

"What ? That's unfair !!! Your sketch will be perfect only if I am in it !"you protest, falsely outraged

Ori tries to contain a laugh: "Mmmmh sure if I drew you, with your exhausted face and your vile clothes you would elevate the beauty of others by your condition !"

For ten minutes both of you sent jokes to each other, outbidding each other, sending the worst nasty things to your faces. It was one of the things that made you and Ori the best friends in the world in the Company. He was one of the only ones to understand your humor and, miraculously enough, not to be offended, insulted, hurt by your words like the rest of the dwarves (Gandalf had more than once saved your life, so stop sulking Mr. Dwalin, it's the humor of Y/N, you'll have to get used to it).

Reaching a point where tears of laughter were rolling down his cheeks, Ori managed to articulate : "Why are you still going on about it, you know I'm going to win anyway!"

"Oh yeah? And why so? I'm going to make you swallow your repartee!"

"Because I have Dori on my side!" he exclaims with a smile up to his ears

It's true that "mama Dori" is never far away and that a wrong word would attract his wrath.

"I'm NoT a KiD AnYmOrE AnD I HaVe To ProVE MySelf !!" you say, imitating Ori's voice "And Dori is no match for Gandalf! Because Gandalf is on my side!"

"ABSOLUTLY NOT, MY DEAR Y/N !" shouts the wizard from the other end of the camp

Ori is close to running out of air so much he is collapsed of laughter.

REQUEST RULE :)

#the hobbit #ori #and i'm your favorite dwarf <3

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em-writes-imagines · 4 years

Text

study group: a social media au where you work at iroh’s boba tea shop with zuko, try to keep up with your college courses, and stir up an irresponsible amount of chaos with the gaang

prev. / part three / next

((author’s note: this update is a little bit different; instead of just screenshots, i’ve written out a scene for this one! hope you guys like it!!))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“HEYYYY THE PARTY’S FINALLY ARRIVED,” Sokka shouts the second you walk through the door, Zuko trailing behind.

“High schoolers are the worst,” Zuko grumbles under his breath, and you toss your bag to the floor with an exasperated sigh.

“But,” you force a smile, “we’re here now! What’s the plan for the night?”

“Wellll, I figured we’d start out with a good ol’ fashioned game of King’s Cup, if everyone’s down?” Sokka asks the group.

“Oh HELL yeah,” Toph runs off to the kitchen to start preparing drinks, and Katara calls after her,

“Don’t make mine too strong!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know how you like it, sugar queen.”

“Wait, is that Sonic?” you ask, watching the screen for a moment. With the amount of colors swirling around the screen and Jim Carrey playing Robotnik, you find yourself almost entranced by the wild image.

“Yeah! But, I guess now that you’re here, we should turn it off.” You can hear the pout in Aang’s voice as he speaks, and laugh before joining him on the couch.

“Nah, we can let it play a bit longer! This scene looks pretty climactic anywa— holy shit, did they just blow up the pyramid?’

“Oh, yeah, there’s this whole thing where Robotnik got one of Sonic’s quills, which apparently are capable of “infinite” power, whatever that means, and now he’s as fast as Sonic— oh! And they use rings to teleport to different places! That’s why they were in Egypt, Sonic was going to all the different landmarks he could remember to try and shake off Robotnik—”

“Aang, shh,” Sokka covers the younger boy’s mouth as one of the characters begins monologuing.

Zuko sits on the floor in front of the couch, leaning against the space between you and Aang. “That is… a lot.” His tone is a mixture of confusion and what sounds like a headache, causing you to laugh.

“Jeeze, Zuko, you don’t know about the deep Sonic lore??”

“I said, shush!!!”

“Yeah, jeeze (y/n),” Zuko mimics you, barely holding back a laugh, “don’t get in the way of Sokka and his one true love, Sonic the hedgehog.”

“Will you guys PLEASE keep it down??”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You are the worst King’s Cup partner,” Zuko groans before taking another drink alongside you. “You have to keep your hand on the table.”

“I know, I know, it’s just— Katara made that rule eight rounds ago, that’s such a long time…” You draw the next card, laughing as you slap down a jack. “Aha! My rule is that Katara’s rule is GONE, no more hands on the table.”

The entire group lets out a sigh of relief, including Katara.

“Man, that rule SUCKED,” Sokka shouts, resulting in a shove from his sister.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you guys are dumb enough to keep falling it for it!”

While they continue to bicker, Aang shouts, “Seven!”

The rest of you point to the ceiling immediately, staring at the two siblings until Katara finally notices and raises her hand as well.

“No fair! Katara distracted me!”

“Rules are rules, Sokka,” Toph says, pointing at him with a laugh. “Now drink up!”

After finishing off the last of his drink, Sokka stands up, losing his balance for a few moments before righting himself.

“Where are you going?” Katara asks. “We’re in the middle of a game!”

“I need to find Appa!!!” he shouts as if it’s his life’s mission, sprinting off to Aang’s room, only to stop in the middle of the hallway. “…running...bad idea…”

“You know, for such a tough guy, he sure is a lightweight,” Zuko laughs, taking another drink.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you wake up the next morning, you’re surprised to find you don’t have much of a headache. While you definitely remember most of the night, you know you overindulged yourself, making the memories a bit jumbled…

“Come on, you’ll thank me in the morning,” Zuko holds the bottle of water in front of you. “At least drink half of it.”

“But I wanna go to sleep…” you curl up around yourself in the recliner, covering your face to block out both the light and Zuko.

“I know,” he laughs under his breath, pulling your hand away from your face and placing the bottle in it. “Just drink this first, and then you can sleep in as late as you want.”

You groan, but sit up nonetheless. “What are you being so nice for?”

“Hungover (y/n) is no fun.” He walks away once he’s sure you’ll finish the water, lying across the couch. “Besides, we have a shift tomorrow afternoon, and I’d prefer it if you didn’t complain the whole time.”

“Like you don’t complain about every customer.”

“Is it complaining if we both agree?”

“…points were made. Those fucking kids that came in at close oh my GOD I was about to lose my mind.”

“And yet you still put on that customer service smile— ‘Welcome to the Jasmine Dragon! How can I help you today?’”

His impression makes you burst out laughing, “That is not what I sound like!”

He continues, “‘I totally care how your stupid day is going! Please, tell me all about your kid and your cat and your shitty job!’”

“I’m trying to get tips, Mr. ‘Look At Me Wrong and I’ll Grab That Decorative Sword Off The Wall and Fight You.’”

“Oh, so you’re telling me you’ve never wanted to do that? Not once?”

“…okay, honestly, it would be kind of badass to just flip over the counter like, ‘hyah!’” You swing your hand around lazily, pantomiming the sword toward Zuko.

“With that form?” he laughs. “Nothing badass about that.”

You let out a yawn before replying, “Yeah, like you know— wait… you do know all that stuff, huh.”

“Go to sleep, (y/n).”

Maybe it’s because you’re about to pass out, but you swear you can hear a smile in his voice.

Oh. So that’s what happened.

You immediately sit up and look over to the couch, blush rising to your cheeks. Thankfully, Zuko is still asleep, one arm resting across his face while the other dangles off the side of the couch. He looks…

“Morning!” Katara calls out from the kitchen, thankfully cutting off your train of thought. “I’m making eggs, do you want some?”

The rumble of your stomach is answer enough, and you laugh as you reply, “Definitely!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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i-simp-for-gintoki · 3 years

Text

Visiting Yuji in Tokyo

“yuji x reader where she was childhood friends with yuji and its basically the friends to lover sort of thing? and basically reader is visiting tokyo and meets up with yuji for the first time in months?? bonus if gojo and megumi are there :)”-anon

Damn its either super short or long no inbetween huh? Sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted! Some of the characters are little ooc (when are they not when i write them-).This turned out much much longer than it needed to be

You and Yuji have known each other since kindergarten

He’s such a sweet kid its always really fun to hang out with him

You guys play lots of video games together and are basically inseparable

Constantly reading manga or watching anime its great

Your parents disapproved of you hanging out with a dude all the time but you could care less

Why should you only be friends with your own gender? Thats so stupid

You always wondered about why yuji had such great strength and speed but he says he was just born that way

Hes just built different

Around middle school his grandpa’s health had dropped and was moved to the hospital

You did your best to make sure yuji stayed in good spirits and often visited the older itadori with him

He’s not the best at wording things but hes always there for emotional support

Maybe it was around 7th grade you noticed something was different around yuji

Like he himself hasn’t changed but whenever you look at him your heart just melts

Your thoughts or compliments seem more filled with love for him and thats when you realized you started to fall for him

Thinking the crush would go away you didn’t act much on it

Oh what a fool you were

Around 8th grade yuji had started acting kinda weird around you

He’d be much more easy to fluster and tenses up for a second if you ever make contact

You confronted him about it and cue the very awkward and middle school like confession

“I really like you!

You were so happy you confessed back and said that the only reason you didn’t before was because you feared to ruin your friendship

He says even if he somehow didn’t like you back that something like that wouldn’t effect anything

From then on you guys are such a wholesome couple

All the cuddles

No fancy dates just casual arcade or movie sort of things

His grandpa gave him a hard time but approved of your relationship

Throughout 8th grade summer and the beginning of highschool everything was going great

But a few months into highschool lots of things happened

Yuji’s grandpa had passed away, he and his friends in the exorcist(?) club had gotten hurt and after that night he had weird markings on his cheeks right below his eyes

And to top it all off now he was supposedly moving to tokyo??

“Yuji why are you moving away? My parents would gladly take you in you know”

He tells you he can’t explain why which breaks your heart

“Who are you staying with then??” he stops for a second and it pains him to lie to you. “A distant relative of mine, he works at a private school and thats where i will be going from now on.”

“But what about us?”

And so you guys decided to do a long distance relationship

Every night when you can you call and chat for hours

But thats not enough

You want to be held or hold him, you want to just cuddle or atleast be in the same room

It pains you to have a relationship through a screen and you grow respect for those who do

Trust isn’t an issue since you know yuji wouldnt even think to cheat at all

Probably doesnt even know what the word means

But after a few months you decide to go to tokyo for a few days

With the help of your parents you rent a room in a hotel and head there

Were just gonna pretend your parents are super super chill(and slightly uncaring like my parents would never let me) and lets you go to a whole city by yourself for several nights

You were super nervous and excited

Its your first time visiting a huge city like tokyo and its gonna be the first time you see yuji in months

Itadori was super excited that you were in tokyo

So excited that he got lost trying to head to the hotel you were staying at

After an extra hour you guys finally meet

He walks through the hotel lobby doors and gives a smile and a wave

In an instant you tackle him in a hug which he GLADLY hugs back in

After just holding each other for a while he decides to show you around

Hes still clearly learning the area himself but he’s very excited to show what he does know

“The place over here makes amazing sushi! Oh! And over here they sell little action figures! Oh oh and over here the steak is kinda bad but its cheap so its worth it! And-” you could only smile as he pointed in random directions with one hand, the other was busy holding yours

Buying food from a bunch of random vendors and wearing silly getups you guys take loads of pictures

Tons of hugs and cheek kisses

Yes its frowned upon to be touchy and stuff in public in japan but honestly you guys could care less

The sun was setting and you guys were currently sitting at a park munchkin on some crepes when you turn to him

“Yuji, do you think i could visit who your staying with? I’d hate to impose but i just wanna know if your in good hands”

His chewing pauses

Its not like he didn’t want you tell about jujutsu

But he doesn’t want you to be apart of that world, he wants you to stay as safe as possible with no harm ever headed your ways

With him being a vessel for sukuna gojo had told him that he and his friends could potentially be targeted

Theres a reason sorceres put up cloaks when engaging in battles and its so normal civilians can continue living in peace without the knowledge these monstrosities actually exist

“Mm its a bit sudden and he’s out on a mis-er meeting right now so maybe tomorrow?” he says

You frown, you can tell he’s lying but he wouldn’t do it without a reason

“Fine. But Yuji. Just know that if you ever feel unsafe or want to come back your more than welcome too. There will always be a spot for you at my home” you say hugging him

You both kinda forgot you were holding crepes and when you pulled away from each other laughed as the ice cream and sauce was smeared all over your shirts/jackets

He walks you back to the hotel and says goodnight with a kiss

The next two days went by in a flash

Just spending time with itadori, even if it was just sitting in silence has been the most fun youve had in months

He had showed you many places and has boughten many small trinkets for you to remember

Your phone has grown about 300 photos just from the past couple days with him

It was about midday of your final day in tokyo and so you both wanted to make the best of it

You both where sitting inside a cafe exchanging stories and just chatting when suddenly two people walked in the cafe

One was very tall and had spiked up white hair and was wearing a blindfold, and the other had spiky/messy black hair

You didn’t think much of it at first but did question the blindfold

‘A fashion choice?’

Turning your attention back to yuji you gave him a soft smile as you listened to his ramblings about a manga

“I love you” you said cutting him off

Immediately his face turned red and whatever he was just saying turned into stuttering nonsense

Before he could respond he let out a short yell when someone placed a hand on his shoulder

It was the two dudes who walked in from earlier

“So this is what you’ve been doing.” “Fushiguro! Gojo sensei!”

The shorter one who looks yuji’s age started talking about how it wasn’t good to turn his phone on mute and go out the whole day

The tall one gives you a wave

“Sorry to interrupt your date but we gotta take yuji away for a bit” he says grabbing yuji’s collar

“Wait who are you guys?” you ask and they pause to give short introductions

“Fushiguro Megumi.” “Gojo Satoru, nice to meet ya miss girlfriend” “How did you know??” Yuji says making gojo laugh

“Its pretty obvious, you didn’t do much of a job hiding it” he says pulling yuji a little bit more.

“O-Oh im L/n Y/n, nice to meet you” you say realizing you forgot to introduce yourself

As the three chatted along with each other, you sat in silence as you tried to remember where you heard gojo’s name from

‘Oh yeah, he’s the one who yuji described as his relative. Even if it was really fast since he tends to change subjects whenever i ask’

“Wait Gojo? White hair...blind fold..are you Yuji’s relative?” you ask making both of them pause

They both turn towards yuji who gave a sheepish smile

“Thats me, im his mothers little cousin” Gojo said, a very quick and random asspull

“So why does he call you Gojo-sensei instead of uncle…Satoru?” “Well if im his moms cousin that would make me his cousin once removed wouldn’t it? And he calls me sensei since im a teacher at a school he goes to”

“And what about you?” you ask the other boy

“A classmate.” he says in a very short and uninterested tone

“Welp lets go” Gojo says dragging yuji but he quickly resists

“Wait wait! Sensei can i please stay? Today is her last day here and i don’t know when i will be able to see her again”

The teacher and student stares at each other for a long time

You have literally no clue what the blindfolded man could but thinking its so hard to read him

Then again you just met him so

Gojo sighs and lets go of yuji

“Just this once, and only because im the greatest sensei you’ve ever had. Lets go megumi. See ya miss girlfriend” gojo says walking away with a wave

Megumi looks surprised but follows him “really?” “Yeah yeah its fine, its only a couple of grade 3’s anywa…” as their voices faded when they left the building you gave yuji a look

“Are you going to get in trouble?” “im probably going to die in training…” “huh?” “nothin”

The rest of the day you guys hang out and its mmm

Yuji would be such a good boyfriend hes so wholesome

When its time for you to part he give you a big hug, kiss and ‘i love you’

You do the same and tear up a bit

With one final photo you head back to your home town

You make it a mission to visit tokyo more often and yuji tries to visit you whenever he can from then on

#itadori yuji x reader #itadori yuji #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #i swear if the tags dont work imma be really annoyed lmao #jjk x reader

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0pretty-setters-squad0 · 4 years

Text

Festival (F) Shikamaru x Reader

Woot here we go. Shikamaru has always been one of my favs so I figured I should write for him. So uh, enjoy I guess. (Alsooo we're gonna age up the characters so y'all are 18 lmao)

You panted heavily, standing with your hands on your knees and caught your breath. You looked up to see Naruto in front of you, doing the same. You were currently helping each other train, and you'd been at it for hours. The two of you were about to go at each other again when Kakashi jumped in between you.

"You two need to take a rest before you pass out from exhaustion," he spoke calmly, eyes not leaving the book in his hand, "Now go do something other than training, rest a while. Got it?" You and Naruto let out a collective groan before you spoke, "But Senseiii." "I'm not your sensei anymore, kid, still, no buts, now go," he looked up from his book to look at you. You knew he was serious so you nodded. "I'm always gonna call you sensei," you shrugged. Naruto picked up some of his kunai from the ground as you picked up a few shuriken you had thrown. Once you had cleaned up, you and Naruto headed out of the training area you had been in. "All that training made me hungry," he let out a laugh, rubbing his stomach. You chuckled and nodded in agreement, "Then let's go get some ramen, I'll pay." His face lit up and he took off running toward the shop. You ran after him, catching up after he was already at the shop and ordering his first bowl. You sat next to him and ordered your own. He turned to you, "Any notes on training today?" You shook your head, "Not really, no. I think we both did pretty good." He smiled, giving a thumbs up. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a while until he spoke again, "So, do you still not have a date to the festival this weekend?" he asked, propping himself up on one elbow. "You know I don't. Nobody asked me yet, and we both know I don't have the confidence to ask anyone," you sighed. "Well you could come with Sasuke and I if you'd like, I'm sure he wouldn't mind," he paused and wiggled his brows, "Or you could finally ask Shikamaru to go with you after having a crush on him since we were 14." You felt a light blush creeping up your cheeks, "I'm not asking Shikamaru." And that's when you heard a bored voice from behind you, "You aren't gonna ask me what?" You turned around and your fears were confirmed as you saw Shikamaru standing there, "Oh nothing, nothing at all. No big deal." Just as Shikamaru was about to walk away shrugging, Naruto had to open his mouth, "She was gonna not ask you to the festival," he said excitedly as you facepalmed. Shikamaru turned to you, "You weren't going to ask me to the festival. What a drag, I was hoping you would," he sighed and you looked up to him. "Wait what? You wanted me to ask you?" He nodded, "Yeah, that's what I just said." "Oh well, uh, in that case," you paused, "Do you wanna go with me to the festival?" You swore for a split second you could see the beginnings of a smile on his face before he responded, "Sure. Meet here at 8 then we can go together." You smiled and nodded before he walked off. When you turned to Naruto he had a goofy smile on his face. You deadpanned. "You are so lucky that he said yes, if not I would've taken your kneecaps in your sleep." He laughed as the ramen was placed in front of the two of you, "You wouldn't hurt your best friend and you know it." You shook your head and chuckled before starting to eat your ramen.

~Le time skip to le festival brought to you by Kakashi's porn books~ You looked in the mirror, making sure your hair looked perfect. After triple checking that you looked okay, you walked out of your house and to the ramen shop, where you and Shikamaru said you'd meet. When you got there, it was exactly eight o clock and Shikamaru was walking up from the opposite direction. The moment you saw him, you swore your jaw hit the ground. He looked so different. His hair was down and he was dressed nicely as opposed to his casual ninja wear. As the two of you got closer, the blush on your face was clear and couldn't be missed even in the dim lighting surrounding you. He held out a small flower to you, "I saw it on the way here and thought of you, so I figured I should show you." You took the flower and smiled, tucking it behind your ear, "Thank you." "You're welcome," he nodded and held out his hand, offering it for you to hold. You gladly took it, interlacing your fingers. The two of you started walking closer to the festival, hand in hand, talking about random things. When you arrived at the festival, it was maybe 8:15, give or take a few minutes. You smiled and started to walk to a booth that had a mini game. Shikamaru raised a brow as he looked at the game before giving the man the money to play. He won first try and saw that you were looking at a fluffy panda stuffed animal. When the man asked what he want, Shikamaru pointed to the panda plushie. When he got it, he gave it to you and flashed a slight smile. You blushed softly and thanked him. He nodded and held your hand, walking around until he found another booth he liked. The rest of the night continued like that, just walking around until something caught one of your eyes. You couldn't stop smiling all night, happy that you were at the festival with Shikamaru. As the night came to an end, he took you to the top of a nearby hill, sitting down and pulling you to sit with him. You did and leaned your head on his shoulder. He smiled and leaned his head on yours, "The fireworks are starting soon." "Fireworks are my favorite." "I know," he paused, "I didn't mean to sound like a creep. But I asked Naruto what you liked before I came tonight." You laughed softly as he clarified that he wasn't a creep, "That's really sweet of you, Shikamaru." He couldn't help the faint blush that dusted his cheeks as you spoke, "It was nothing, I just wanted to make sure that you had fun." "Well I've had a lot of fun, so mission accomplished." Just then the fireworks started, both of you watching in amazement at the beautiful colors. Once the display was over, you sighed, "This is the part where we both go home I guess." "We don't have to, I wouldn't mind just sitting here with you," he wrapped and arm around you. "I wouldn't mind that either," you smiled and scooted closer until your hips were touching. The two of you just sat there enjoying each other's company in silence for a while. After a few minutes, he looked up at the sky, "The stars are absolutely gorgeous tonight." You lifted your head from his shoulder and looked up too, "Wow, they really are." He then looked to you, "But, uh, not as pretty as you." You giggled and looked at him, "That was very cheesy." "Oh well, I asked Asuma what girls liked and he told me they liked that cheesy, romantic stuff, so that's what I went with," he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. You smiled, "Don't get me wrong, I definitely liked it, it was very sweet. And you look nice too. Very handsome." He smiled back, "Can I tell you something?" You nodded and looked at him, waiting for him to speak. "Well, I've actually like you for a while now, and now that we're actually going out I was thinking," he paused to think of how he wanted to word it, "Can I kiss you?" "I've liked you for a while too. And as far as kissing me, yes you can," you smiled. He gently cupped your jaw and leaned in, both of you closing your eyes. When you felt his lips connect with yours, it was like the fireworks from earlier were going off again behind your eyelids. When you pulled back, you were both blushing as he spoke, "I have wanted to do that for so long." "Then why didn't you?" "I just didn't know how to ask you out I guess." You giggled softly, "Finally something the genius couldn't figure out." He huffed softly, "What a drag," he pulled you close and kissed the top of your head, "Let's stay like this for a little longer, I don't want the night to end." You smiled and nuzzled your head into his neck, "Me neither." From the bottom of the hill, Naruto and Sasuke saw the two of you sitting together and Naruto let out a chuckle, "Took them long enough."

I love the idea of Shika asking Asuma for relationship advice hush. Anywas hope you liked it, all that good stuff. Don't forget to like vote and that shit thanks :))

#Naruto #Shikamaru Nara #Shikamaru #x reader #fluff #Nara #shikamaru x reader #cute

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dingdongrumba · 4 years

Note

“Don’t be shy.” and kamukoma??

I actually had a lot of fun writing this one sdkfjdsKSDFJSDF there’s just something really fascinating about Komaeda’s and Kamukura’s dynamic that makes it a very interesting ship to write for!! Thanks for requesting anon and I hope you enjoy this~

-----------

“Mmmh, and who might you be, sir?”

Kamukura’s eyelids dropped ever so slightly. Of course, he’d heard the footsteps of a stranger approaching him from behind like five minutes ago but he had been silently hoping he wouldn’t try to interact with him. Not just that, but he could recognize the intentions behind that tone from a mile away. How boring, how utterly predictable. It was so easy to fall into those kinds of behaviors during the end of the world. Well, figures he could as well just get it over with, it’s not like he had a lot to do at the moment anywa-

Ah.

Turning around, Kamukura realized this might not be just another random sexual encounter. The man before him was clearly a remnant of despair left by Junko Enoshima. Ah, no. Not quite. He had her mark all over him, but he wasn’t exactly like the rest of them. This man wasn’t really one of her lackeys, yet… her rotten essence was all over him, Kamukura could practically drown in the despair that he emitted.

How… interesting.

Kamukura’s eyes opened up ever so slightly. This might not be so boring after all.

“I’m Nagito Komaeda.” The stranger continued speaking. “And I can tell we’re both working for the same team here.” His voice was practically dripping with honey, the amount of arousal in it almost enough to impress Kamukura. It wasn’t often that strangers would be so blatantly horny for him, at least not so quickly.

His statement was certainly interesting, though. Not only was it curious that he would dare make such a bold statement, but Kamukura wondered what led this man to reach that conclusion, from the outside, Kamukura only looked like a slightly unconventional man during an apocalypse.

Indeed, Nagito Komaeda was proving to be the most interesting thing he’d encountered that week.

Kamukura did not reply, he figured Komaeda wasn’t actually expecting him to. He was right, as always. Without another word, the stranger seductively walked up to him, as if that attitude would in any way change the outcome of their encounter.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed,” Komaeda started again, fully closing the distance between them and rubbing Kamukura on top of the fabric of his pants. “that my existence is nothing but trash and I don’t deserve to walk on the same planet as you.” Kamukura almost raised an eyebrow at this, he, in fact, didn’t think that way at all, but this man was obviously convinced of it, and he didn’t really feel like arguing him on his clearly very strong mindset. “But I think we could both do wonderful, hopeful things together.”

Hmm. That offer (and innuendo) certainly caught his attention, and apparently, his dick’s too. Kamukura could feel himself swelling up at both the slight thrill of the stranger’s promise as well as his insistent hand that seemed to be really enjoying the shape of his length.

Grinning lustfully, Komaeda took one of his hands and guided it inside the back of his pants and underwear, allowing him to get a good feel of the firm shape of his ass. “Hey, can I put it in here?” He panted into his ear, even though he clearly already knew the answer.

“Do as you wish,” Kamukura replied anyway. Sex wasn’t something he found particularly engaging, but this Komaeda could very well change that. And furthermore, Kamukura found himself uncharacteristically interested in what could happen afterwards, so the sooner they got this over with, the sooner he could find out just how entertaining Komaeda could be.

Not to mention, his ass was definitely something to be appreciated, as well as the way his hand felt on his erection.

Moaning obscenely, Komaeda gently pushed them both towards the nearest wall and straddled him to the floor, letting out loud whines as he began shamelessly grinding on him, the outline of his own erection already obvious against Kamukura’s stomach. They were completely exposed here out in the open, but it being the end of the world and all, it’s not like there were a lot of people around, and it’s not like this kind of sight would be weird nowadays. Kamukura figured Komaeda wouldn’t care even if it was anyway.

“I’ve dreamed of something like this for so long,” Komaeda spoke again in that lust-filled voice of his, not stopping his hips for even a second. “of finding someone like you, and then being used by you. I’ve been looking for so long and- aah, I’ve finally found you.” He hastily undid his own pants and lowered them just enough to expose his entrance and free his erection, just before doing the same to Kamukura’s zipper. “Please, mess me up. Fill me with your hope.”

Unexpectedly, his words did wonders to pique up his interest.

Satisfied at how Kamukura’s cock was now fully hard, Komaeda lined himself up right above him and didn’t waste a second longer to fully plunge himself on him, letting out a cry of ecstasy right next to Kamukura’s ear as he wrapped his arms around his neck and began immediately bouncing on him.

Kamukura let out a low groan of his own. Just as he expected, Komaeda’s ass was warm and tight and the way he rolled his hips up and down was nothing short of amazing. Both his desperate cries for more and the way his entrance sucked him in gave testimony of just how much he was enjoying it. Kamukura was used to being praised and desired, but this stranger’s… adoration was truly something he hadn’t seen before. He would be lying if he said that didn’t make his dick harden inside Komaeda’s ass.

“Come on,” Komaeda whined, grinding his hips so intensely Kamukura could feel the desperation in each roll. “Don’t be shy, use me, fuck me however you like, I will- nnh! only live to serve you and your cock now.”

Kamukura found out he had a soft spot for dirty talk that day. What a novelty.

Groaning even louder than before, Kamukura forcibly grabbed the stranger’s hips, holding them in place before he began thrusting up into him at top speed. Komaeda’s moans became as loud as humanly possible almost immediately, now practically screaming in Kamukura’s ear as he continued to clench his ass around his dick and sucking him in approval.

“Yes, yes, yes.” He started chanting, and Kamukura actually found himself biting down on his lower lip to stifle what would’ve been an embarrassingly loud moan. Nagito Komaeda was drawing reactions out of him that no one else had before. This man continued to prove himself to be something he’d never seen before, and both his mind and his dick couldn’t help but be very interested in him.

Forcing his hips out of Kamukura’s grasp, Komaeda gave one last, hard thrust downwards against him and came with his loudest cry yet, staining both of their stomachs on top of their clothes and clenching on him even harder than before. Not wanting to make any noise, Kamukura bit down on the stranger’s shoulder hard enough to draw blood as he orgasmed right after him, Komaeda’s ass practically drawing out the cum right out of him as he rode the last stretch of his own orgasm.

They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity as they both panted their way to a regular breathing again.

“So,” Komaeda spoke in the most hoarse voice he’d ever heard. “who might you be, sir?”

#sdr2 #izuru kamukura #nagito komaeda #kamukoma #drabble #smut #unsafe #me: i don't really like kamukoma that much #also me: *writes 1200 words for it*#sdkfjsdkjgerijk #Anonymous #answered

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itsjustmyfantasyroom · 4 years

Text

I can't believe it.

This is episode based, the Hank Abraham case- which i touched on as lightly as possible but its there, so there is fair warning.

Warnings: Usual Svu, SVU based & Hank Abraham case.

The air was thick with tension, no one was game to say anything at risk of adding more fuel to the fire or saying something wrong. Sonny, Amanda and you felt like you had done something wrong, when in reality you done your job and caught a bad man, you guys couldn't help who it was.

Rafael wasn't himself when he found out the news. You guys hadn't spent much time together since the case came in, he had been working late, you asleep when he got home and gone by the time you woke. He was getting pressure from the DA to sort this out and get it out of the way as quickly as possible. It had to come first till it was all over with.

Pippa Cox walked out of Liv's office after watching one of Hank’s interviews with Rafael and Ed Tucker, she looked into your eyes with such hate and hurt, and you looked down holding back tears with red cheeks. You guys had walked into her and Hanks apartment at two in the morning and turned her and her kid’s lives inside out. Of course she hated you for it. You got up from your desk and pretty much ran to the on call room and shut the door behind you letting the tears fall.

Amanda had seen the look you were given and how you reacted, you didn't know she had followed you.

The door opened and you were sitting on a bed. She walked over and sat next to you putting her arm around your shoulders.

"It's a tough one"

"You’re telling me, I just hate feeling like we done something wrong, you know"

"Yeah I know, but we didn't. We caught the bad guy"

"We tore his family apart"

"Yeah, but he was doing bad things, you wouldn't want to be married to someone like that would you?" You shook your head

----

Friday afternoon came at a snail’s pace. You had a few messages here and there from Rafael over the week, and one late night conversation, he felt like a stranger. He told you he didn't want you to feel that he was taking it out on you, but he has having trouble processing everything that was going on, which you could tell from his sad watery eyes during that conversation. So you left him to it and stayed out of the way.

Sonny had gone to court with Liv on Friday for the ruling, he wanted you to go too, but you wanted to stay back and finish off paper work and just go home. You finished early and signed out when Amanda did. You got a cab a block away from the apartment and picked up two bottles of wine then walked the rest of the way home.

You hadn't heard from Rafael so you decided to give it a couple of hours before you would order in. Sonny messaged you with outcome and you weren't sure how Rafael would be when he got home. You showered and washed you hair and put on some cotton shorts and a t-shirt and opened the wine.

You pretty much sculled down the first bottle. You were on your last glass from that bottle staring out the window when you heard the keys in the door. Rafael walked in like a zombie and went straight to the bathroom not even saying hello and you heard the shower running.

You stood at the island and opened the second bottle of wine and filled your glass up, picked up your phone and ordered his favourite Thai dish from a place down the street. You poured him a drink just how he liked it and sat it at the end of the island so he could see it when he walked out of the bathroom.

He came out in a pair of cotton track pants and a white t shirt, walked straight to the drink and drunk it in one go, he walked over to you, turned you to face him and wrapped his arms around your waist and hide his face in your neck.

"Just hold me, don't let me go ok" You nodded and kissed him on top of the head.

Not much was said for the rest of the night, dinner came and you ate in silence, Rafael having a couple more drinks after dinner. After you cleaned up and sat on the couch, Rafael joined you and laid his head on your lap and you ran your fingers threw his hair.

Next minute you heard him lightly snoring, you wiggled out from under him laying is head slowly down and covered him with a blanket and went to bed. You wanted nothing but to pull him to bed with you, but he was completely drained and slightly drunk, so best to just leave him there.

****

The light was streaming in from the window through your eyes lids, you slowly rolled onto your back and was surprised when you seen Rafael laying there looking up at the ceiling.

"Morning Rafi, are you ok?" You lent over and kissed him on the cheek. He didn't answer straight away. He was frowning and his jaw was clenched.

"I can't believe it you know-why he would risk everything over doing something like that. He had everything. An amazing job, a wife, two healthy happy children and he did that knowing if he was caught what would happen" he shook his head.

"No one will ever be able to answer that Rafi, not even him. He was fighting demons no one knew about and they won. I feel sorry for Pippa. Being married to him for so long and having his children, for him to be doing that behind her back. But I can't help but think it was our fault."

He turned his head and looked at you, you looked down

"Why would you think that?"

"Well if we had left when Liv told us too, he wouldn't have got caught and their lives would have gone on like they always had. All week Sonny, Amanda and I have been blaming ourselves. But we were just doing our job. But we tore his family apart-and I couldn't help but think you were mad, at us, at me starting this shit storm"

He rolled over and faced you, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"Look at me Hermosa" you didn't "Hermosa" you huffed and looked up to meet his gaze.

"I don't want you to ever think that ever again. He would have got caught. You done your job, and a good job at that. I'm sorry for the distances, I just couldn't get it to sink in. It triggered so much for me and I didn't know how to process it. Not that my father did anything like that, but he had an amazing wife and me, and it still wasn't enough, his actions caused him to lose us. I don't understand why what they have isn't enough."

"It’s life Rafi, some people it’s just their makeup, how they are made, they don't care if they lose what they have, no matter how good it is. If we weren't in the job we're in, none of this would matter as much as it does, it would just be another story on the news. But we see it first hand, we have a different point of view than most people. I just hope-never mind"

"No say it"

"I just hope I'll always be enough for you Rafi" his whole face softened and he lent down and kissed you lightly on the lips.

"Hermosa, you always have been and always will be enough, I love you."

****

"Tio Raf, you promised so long ago" Zara pouted over the video call.

"I know mi Amor, but Tia and I have been really busy with work"

"Sweetie, as soon as Aunty Liv and Tio Raf's boss give us some time off we will be out to see you"

"I can call Aunty Liv and talk to her" you, Rafael and Nick started laughing

"It's ok sweetie thank you, but I can handle her"

****

"Ladies and Gentleman this is your caption speaking, we have arrived at LAX airport, local time 7 am, enjoy your stay in Los Angeles California"

The sun was shining down and you could smell the salt in the air, you hadn't been this relaxed in a very long time. You and Rafael were standing on Santa Monica pier waiting for Nick and Zara to come.

You both finally got some time off and worked with Nick on a week he had Zara over summer break. You guys all decided to keep it as a surprise for her. Although Rafael would have preferred a beach somewhere, you both naked most of the time, he was looking forward to some time away and some time with Zara. Nick only had a 1 bedroom apartment, so you guys were staying in a hotel. Rafael preferred it that way anyway, because he knew at the end of the day he could get you alone.

"You excited Hermosa?" Rafael was leaning on the rail looking very handsome in jeans and a casual button down, your arms wrapped around his middle and your chin on his shoulder

"Very much so. You?" He nodded and kissed you on the cheek.

"Hey Sweetie, I have a surprise for you"

"What is it Daddy?" Zara looked up at Nick

"Have a look around first to see if you notice anything"

Nick had sent you a message saying they were walking towards the pier, so you both started to make your way toward the entrance. You could see Zara scanning the crowd, and then her eyes met yours and she smiled and screamed.

"TIA" she ran towards you and knelt down a bit so you could pick her up as she got to you. Zara wrapped her arms around your neck and you picked her up.

"Hey my sweetie, surprise. I've missed you so much"

"Tia you made it. I've missed you"

You gave her a kiss in the cheek and placed her back on the ground when she wrapped her arms around your waist.

"Hey mi Amor"

"TIO RAF"

She pulled away from you and jumped on to Rafael, him picking her up. That finally gave you a chance to say hello to Nick. You wrapped your arms around his neck and his around your middle, he lifted you slightly off the ground.

"I've missed you so much Y/N"

"Me too Nick"

He put you down and pulled away, kissing you on top of your head resting his arm around your shoulders.

The week had been amazing, you guys had done so much with Nick and Zara. Zara was going back to Maria that night, and it was your last day tomorrow, you guys had a midnight flight. Nick was going to take you both out for dinner and then drive you to the airport.

"So the last case was a tough one hey" Nick took a sip of his beer.

"You could say that" Rafael frown "You’re lucky you missed out on all the fun" he rolled his eyes.

"It was horrible" you took a sip of your wine "that's really the first time I questioned myself at my job"

"Why would you do that?" Nick grabbed your arm and gave it a light squeeze "Your amazing at what you do, you couldn't help who it was. I was shocked when you told me"

"Anyway let's talk about something else, you look happy Nick, and so does Zara" you smiled at him.

"She is, I’ am. I' am missing a couple of things, well people, but it was worth the move for the most part, especially when the people I miss most come to visit"

"You don't miss me Amaro" Rafael smirked at him

"Well no, but you guys are a package deal" Nick winked at you.

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cynergy-laughter · 4 years

Text

Obey Me! One Master to Rule Them All! Headcanon#1 (Unprovoked)

What I love about the demon bois is that they are all canonically ticklish and I adore them for it. There are a few tickle scenes that I have witnessed. (If I can only find the tumblr post that showed the bois in a tickle fight with MC, I will adore you.) But what would happen if MC was an absolute playful/feral human tickle monster?

*dream cloud sequence*

Lucifer:

In the beginning, when he first gets poked, he remains calm, but felt a sensation never felt before.

Do not show weakness...

Shuts it down before the beast is unleashed and establishes 6 foot rule with MC.

Lucifer has never been tickled by anyone(except possibly by Diavolo but debatable.) and is shocked that a human is bold enough to even try.

Later on, Lucifer is okay with MC’s tickles, but he enjoys making MC work for his laugh.

He is quick to be rough if his brothers try to join on the fun. No tickle gang ups on Lucy~.

Worst spots: armpits, hips, back(in his demon form, his wings are pretty bad) Rated 7 for pretty ticklish.

Mammon:

Whenever MC is called human, ridiculed, insulted, or made fun of by Mammon, Mammon is quick to hop about 3 feet away.

Mammon, don’t hop, tickle monsters take that as a challenge.

You would think with as much as MC tickles him, and how ticklish Manmon is, Mammon wouldn’t have such a smart mouth... you would think.

He kind of likes it... kind of loves it... I-I mean no! Who would want to be tickled by a weirdo like you anywa-GYAH!! (Mammon Stay! [That Moment when the Feral Tickle Monster MC domesticates a demon of greed.])

Is trying to record MC tickling his brothers so he can sell the content for good cash.

Because of MC’s tickly methods, the brothers like to string Mammon up and tickle him as punishment for his pranks and leave him there, for a MC to find an offering for good harvest, prosperity, and peace.

Worst spots: Sides, abs, legs. Rated 11 for OverWrecked

Leviathan:

Is usually safe and shut in his room to even be considered as a target at first. But gives a squeak when he is poked, followed by a hiss because how dare.

Maybe if MC doesn’t see me, MC’ll leave me alone.

When MC started hanging out with Levi more, and casually brings up tickle scenes in different games they played, working tickling into the conversation, Levi gets a bit guarded but he is kind of interested in MC’s game taste, prompting MC is get revenge when Levi calls one of their games trash.

Levi getting tickled gives him his exercise for the day, especially when MC gives chase.

Later on, Levi calls cheating, demands rematches, blushes at MC for tickling him during racing games. Not that he minds...

MC likes giving Levi attention because MC was a semi-shut in because of their nature, they want Levi know they aren’t alone.

Worst spots: Ribs, belly, feet. Rated 8 for LMFAOOOO PLZ STAHP! and sent.

Satan:

At first he enjoys MC’s energy because he got to see Lucifer squirm, and his brothers got theirs.

But immediately becomes more evasive when the attention was on him. Especially when Mammon points out that Satan wasn’t getting tickles. (*inserts “He Still Got Three Lives” Super Smash Bros meme here*)

Satan one day is scolding Mammon and MC for disturbing his reading, even though he reading in his room with the door closed, MC just reaches to tickle Satan, only for Satan to grab the hand and hold it with a stern glare, and the rest of his body just moves back and away from MC when they start to reach with their other hand. “No... No!... NO.”

Satan’s first tickling happened then, and Mammon decided to film Satan getting absolutely wrecked, and he’s been on the tickle vid hustle ever since.

For someone who is so level headed and reserved, Satan is giggly boi.

Now, MC tickles Satan when they want him to take a break because overworking is not good. Satan grew to appreciate his break alarm, especially since he loves to tickle fight MC.

Worst spots: Navel, sides, knees. Rated 9 for Don’t you dare...

Asmodeus:

Absolutely adores MC and the attention he gets from the tickling(sub headcanon, Asmo is into all kinks, including tickling.)

Out of all the brothers, Asmo is the second least ticklish, but even then, that’s still pretty ticklish.

He is happy to indulge MC with their behavior, and even is willing to help them tickle the others, save for Lucifer.

Kind of gets jealous when MC tickles him less than the others, and actively tries to get MC to tickle him, he likes merciless tickles and soft tickles.

MC likes Asmo’s enthusiasm about tickling, but isn’t making it about anything more than laughter, but doesn’t leave Asmo out of tickles and affection.

Asmo’s one weakness is raspberries, they make Asmo squeal, especially on his neck and abs.

Worst spots: neck, abs, and thighs(squeeze em~!) Rated 6.5 for Yehehes please give me more!

Beelzebub:

Is too busy with hunger to even acknowledge the tickly sensation when MC first arrives.

As Beel opens up more and more to MC, there is only a couple ofpeople who can tickle him, that was Belphie, and now MC.

MC realizes that Beel is a person who likes short and sweet tickles, cause over exertion leads to a famished Beel. And no one wants a famished Beel.

Sometimes for a workout, Beel makes himself more sensitive and challenges MC to a tickle fight. Which usually ends in a giggly cuddle fest. No one’s sure who wins, and when the pizzas arrive, no one really cares.

Beel has grown to love MC’s tickly nuzzles and soft raspberries, especially since he’s the least ticklish of the brothers.

Worst spots: Belly, ribs, arms. Rated 6 for That kind of tickles...

Belphegor:

Has been locked up for [S T O R Y] and doesn’t experience MC’s shenanigans first hand, and it was probably for the best for him...

Belphie is a sleepy boi and thought it would save him from tickles, until MC started giving Belphie tickly wake up calls for school days.

Belphie is dumbfounded how quickly his brothers have changed because of MC’s influence...

As time went on, Belphie saw MC as kind of like a playful puppy, and loves to get into light tickle fights with him, although only on occasion does it turn into war.

Whenever MC is wrecking Belphie, Belphie calls out to Beel for help, and then MC calls Mammon for help, and it turns into a tickling free for all.

Belphie doesn’t like being tickled, but loves his back stroked and tickled lightly, it relaxes him. And MC lulls Belphie to sleep with that and falls asleep with him.

Worst spots: Feet, sides, ears. (Demon form, his horns are pretty ticklish.) Rated 10 for Totally Wrecked.

#obey me #one master to rule them all #headcanon #obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #ticklish #obey me main character #tickle monster #beware the tickles #tickles #i love the bois

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stoneworldsimp · 3 years

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HII IM THE PREVIOUS ANON AND. maybe one day ill drop the @ who knows but for now i am going to stay a secret. teehee its fun that way. ANYWA YOURE WELCOME i feel like writers arent appreciated enough esp since im one too SO IM GLA DTHAT I MANAGED TO MAKE U HAPPY W MY LITTLE MESSAGE. i hope u dont mind me brainrotting in ur inbox btw cuz I AGREE STANLEY IS SO FINEEEE little bastard man. he is like hyoga to me sexy but i wanna give him a smack. and maybe have a heated makeout session after so i dont blame u. same w tsukasa idk how far u are into the manga rn but i assume ur done w s2.. hes so sexy after his character development tbh but evilkasa is also sexy as hell like gawddamn i love crazy men. anyway thats it for now I HOPE U ARE HAVING A GOOD DAY ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hello again!!!! Ok first of all if ur ever comfy with it I’d LOVE to know your @ so then I can pay it forward and give U some hardcore appreciation for all of ur writings. I bet you’ve got great stuff!! :) Also brainrot is absolutely positively accepted here do not worry. That goes for the rest of my followers I LOVE hearing this shit. Stanley really is sexy as hell, and I can’t wait to see what his personality is like😗 Also Yes. Yes Absolutely I would love a makeout sesh after maybe a little passive aggressive angry talking at each other to build tension and then the makeout will be the sweetass release.😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 I’m getting ahead of myself LOL

The rest of them are pretty good….I DO like me some Tsukasa with character development. And hyoga’s cute too but I’m very horrible and all I see when I look at him is an evil dude with a massive eight pack ;—; I’d love to find out which villain is ur favorite

Feel free to pop back in whenever u want, these messages are always fun n appreciated :)) I hope u have a good day/night!

#asks #i spazz out over stanley LITERALLY every other day to my friend #she never hears the end of it #HES LITERALLY SO GOOD LOOKING AND I CANT HELP BUT GAZE TOO HARD INTO THE PANGA PANELS WITH THE WHITED OUT SPEECH BUBBLES #MANGA************

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soyouareandrewdobson · 4 years

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Sunny Sundays: Scoob

So as not to be too negative by always focusing on dumb webartists and their lack of taste in certain media or decent opinions, I decided that at least once a week I also want to talk about something more positive on my tumblr. Something about animation to enjoy, instead of using it as a bullet point for a sex fetish disguised as social awareness unlike someone else.

As such, lets talk about a little movie that came out this week on demand about a franchise that had goten rebooted more times than a certain timelord. At least that is what it feels like.

Ladies and Gentlemen: Scoob!

Scoob is the recent major entry into the Scooby Doo franchise and weirdly enough, though there is a ton of animated movies that came out for TV and on DVD, the the first animated feature of the franchise to actually be released in theaters. ... or rather it would be, if we didn’t live in a Stephen King novel, forcing Warner to release it on the internet for demand.

Now the Scooby Doo franchise is as of now pretty damn old. starting back in 1969 and having multiple incarnations of it over the years with the last succesfull one being the highly recommended “Mystery Incorporated”, which featured of all things the group not only dealing with their typical guys in masks each week, but also an ancient conspiracy involving a cosmic terror from another dimension, cameos of other famous Hanna Barbera characters and even good old Harlan Ellison having a cameo to. But some people with no idea how a good story trumps over shipping only know the show as having Velma and a girl that smells of hotdogs being shipped. If you do not belong to that group of people, I highly recommend you to watch it because it is really good. And certainly more entertaining than the shows that followed next, aka “Scooby Doo Go” and “Here is a show all about cameos being more obvious than in the old days”.

Anyway, what I try to say is, Scooby Doo despite being rather old and having been both mocked and appreciated over the years, is still very popular and can with the right amount of care and silly fun be at the very least an entertaining ride. So did this movie deliver on that, or did it become as disappointing as “Return to Zombie Island”?

I will try not to spoil too much in this “overview” about the movie, but here is basically the deal: For starters, it is a Scooby Doo movie that misses one itsy bitsy major thing that actually makes a Scooby Doo story out on average. A mystery.

See, the movie first begins with a semi origin story for Scooby and the gang, which honestly is pretty damn adorable to watch. Shaggy meeting a stray Scooby as a pup, both becoming friends, meeting at Halloween Fred, Daphne and Velma for the first time and actually solving their very first mystery, all in the span of like 10 minutes? It is great and I would love to see an animated series about those alone. You know, a reboot of “A Pup named Scooby Doo”. Unfortunately, that is as far as we get with a “classic” Scooby Doo story as after the introduction, Simon Cowell essentially breaks the group apart and it becomes a Marvel superhero movie inspired flick.

Nope, I am not. Which btw, is actually not meant as a criticism.

Yeah see, Mystery Inc wants to be a more serious enterprise and so Simon Cowell has been brought on board to finance them, but only of Shaggy and Scooby leave. Which they do. After that dated cameo of a celebrity (Which actually feels rather in tone with the legacy of the franchise, if you think about the “good old days”) Shaggy and Scooby find themselves shortly thereafter being hunted by robots, only to be rescued by another famous Hannah Barbara character: The Blue Falcon and his trusty sidekick Dynomutt! Or rather Mark Wahlberg having to learn how to be a decent hero and the second best character in the entire movie.

The original Blue Falcon has retired and this Blue Falcon is the son of the original one who still has to learn how to be a smart hero instead of trying to be an “impressive” hero (in other words, Booster Gold’s showman aspects played up to 11) while Dynomutt has certianly become a bit of a deadpan snarker over the years.

Anywa,y they have come to help Shaggy and Scooby, who are hunted by Dick Dastardly of Wacky Racers fame, who is after Scooby for some nefarious reason, as well as the heads of demon guard dog Cerberus, which if assembled will open the Gates of Hell. As such Shaggy, Scooby and the Blue Falcon group have to stop Dastardly and save the world, while the rest of the team tries to find out what happened to them and in doing so gets involved into the entire adventure too. An adventure field to the brim with references and major on screen cameos by Hanna Barbera characters, to the point the entire thing could also just be called “Hanna Barbera Avengers assemble”.

This movie... it is weird but in some of the best ways possible. To get it out of the way, I do not think it is a very good kids movie storywise. As in, on one hand it does not have any despicable messages to it and there is actually a surprisingly high level of quality to it, on the other hand, it is not as if this movie has become the Hanna Barbera equivalent of Wall-E, Onward, How to train your Dragon or some Miyazaki flick. It is basically a Hanna Barbera crossover fanfiction as an animated feature, that reimagines the characters design wise slightly to look like ore accesable toys for kids to sell nowadays, than the orignal designs from the 70s and 80s. The plot as said abandons the mystery aspect completely for a saving the world from a comic book supervillain story, even with obligatory hole in the sky during the climax (seriously, when does Hollywood realize what kind of clichee it is) , third act break up between Scooby and Shaggy and out of nowhere “sacrifice” at the end. If you want more details on that, I recommend watching the movie or reading up on a 4chan post that goes around the net from a couple of months ago, when someone leaked the movie back then. Turns out that not everything on /co/ is garbage made up by others. Anyway, the plot is just not what you would expect from Scooby Doo. Which says a lot considering their direct to DVD features within the last years included also crossovers with the WWE and KISS. So you would expect it could not get weirder. But this movie kinda does, while also just having storystructure wise clichees to it you have seen a million times already in both better and worse features. And yet, if you like Hanna Barbera cartoons in general, I think you can find something in that movie. Not necessarily a good story from start to end, but just a entertaining Hanna Barbera cartoon, that is not quite as “dumb” as its source material but also does not try to be ultra serious and embraces the sort of humor it came from. If that however is not enough for you, and you want some very very deep story about social issues in animated form... well, I either suggest watching something not done by Disney you animation snob.

From a technical level now, I would say the movie is a bit more complicated to “review”. The voice acting is not horrible, but there are moments where the fact they got not the original cast to do the voices and instead give us celebrities like Zac Efron, is obvious. Some dialogues just don’t work as well as they should, but no one does a completely horrible job. Animation wise...

Well, it is a movie that does actually a good job getting the Hannah Barbera designs into a decent computer animated shape for the 21th century. It really feels like a Hannah Barbara cartoon on the screen. Unfortunately, when it comes to background characters....

...it feels only slightly above Miraculous Ladybug levels in my opinion. The animation is not all over the place, but you can see that it was not Pixar working on it. Which actually sorta brings up another “problem” with the movie. The problem being that as a whole it does not quite feel like it is a movie that belongs on the big screen. It is an entertaining animated movie, don’t get me wrong. But if I may be “snobish” for a moment, I think in terms of presentation and story it just doesn’t quite reach okay movie theater flick level. It is above what we should get from a made for TV or DVD production but just doesn’t reach the next level by a few inches. Which is sad, cause I think there was actually still a lot of effort put into it and a certain love of the source material. Or rather source materials, seeing how it is not just Scooby Doo here. And yet, despite its obvious flaws, including some really dated humor that made my eyes roll but is not breaking the movie for me... I recommend it. If you like Scooby Doo as a whole, I think you may like this one a lot. I just think that 20$ on demand is way too much. An animated serie sin that style however would suffice a lot Hope that piece of an opinion was helpful and that if you decide to watch it, you will have as much fun as I had (or even more) . And please don’t let me be the only one on this planet who thinks that of all the characters in it, Dick Dastardly is actually one, if not the most entertaining one. Cause heck, I liked him. And I never had imagined to see a heartfelt scene with him as a central character.

#scooby doo #scoob movie #scoob spoilers #scoob #adobsonart #adobsonartworks #western animation #animation #hanna barbera #blue falcon #dynomutt #dick dastardly #movie

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vxmorpheus · 3 years

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The Crossroads to the beginning. P1

Tw - blood, and mentions of miscarriages

LONG post

"I... just don't think we can do this anymore, Eli. We can't just keep pretending nothing's happened," Michael spoke solemnly as he packed his clothes into his suitcase.

Eli stood by the door, fighting tears back, "you don't have to leave though! We can work things out, maybe-"

"No! ... no, Eli. We've tried working this out for 5 years, but you keep miscarrying! I-"

"Excuse me?! Are you blaming this on me?! It's not like I'm fucking trying to! I want a child just as bad as you do!"

He shouted back, "well it sure as hell doesn't seem like you want a kid!"

"So, you're saying I'm doing this on purpose?!"

"Yes! I don't think you ever wanted one in the first fucking pla-"

Eli slapped Michael hard. Hard enough that it jerked his head to the left, "get. Out."

He put his hand on his face, "Eli, I-"

"GET. OUT. GET OUT RIGHT NOW! LEAVE!" Eli screamed out. Michael jumped in surprise, then scrambled to close his suitcase and left quickly. Eli followed him to the door, slamming it shut behind him. She put her back against the door and slid down until she was sitting on the floor with her face in her hands. She sobbed into her hands before bringing her legs up, hugging them to herself for comfort. Eli didn't know how long she sat there crying, but by the time she got up, it was nighttime. She set a kettle onto the stovetop and walked to the window, looking out on the city... it felt much more empty and quiet now with Michael gone. "What am I going to do...? How am I going to pay rent...? I can't work..." the kettle cut off her ramblings to herself. She poured some of the hot water into a mug and put a teabag into it. Eli made her way to bed, walking by the spare bedroom that was meant for Michael and her baby... that was never to come. When she stood in the doorway of their bedroom, she stared at the empty king bed for a long time before turning around and going to the couch. She couldn't bear to sleep in that bed all alone.

Over the next couple of months, she and Michael got divorced. Which was easier than expected given there was no child to fight for custody of. She had also found out that he had actually been cheating on her for 3 months before he left her. She was pissed, not at the other woman, but rather at him. He was a coward. He was a liar. He never stood by Eli's side after each miscarriage. She was always left to heal by herself, to take care of herself even when she wasn't supposed to be walking and bending. She resented and hated Michael, she was actually happy she never had a kid with him... but she still wanted a child.

The money she saved and the money she got from the divorce helped her pay rent for some months while trying to figure out what she would do for income. One night, she was binge-watching a show with paranormal/supernatural themes and one of the characters went to a crossroads and summoned a demon then made a deal to save another character that was in a coma. Eli sat up slowly and thought, "if... maybe... I can do that... and make a deal for a job..." she grabbed her laptop and changed the channel to something else. She began doing research into crossroad demons, she had heard of them before but only for famous people. While she did research, the news played a recap of the election results... "Gabriel Kenward is the confirmed winner for governor. He and his wife are goi..." Eli zoned the tv out while reading steps on how to go about summoning a crossroads demon. She read up on every single website she could handle, even the ones making fun of people for looking or trying to summon a demon. Her eyelids felt heavy as she was reading a website specifically made for the supernatural practices, she could only read two paragraphs before she passed out on the couch. She felt herself falling in her dream, making her jerk awake. Eli sighed, annoyed, and got up, setting the laptop onto the coffee table. She walked around the couch to the kitchen to get some water, but... something felt off. She paused at her refrigerator and looked around. Everything looked normal but the air felt different for some reason. Eli shook her head and grabbed a glass, putting it in the water dispenser on her fridge. There was a pause... then liquid poured it into her glass before she yanked it away. Eli stared in horror at her fridge before looking at the glass, which had blood in it.

"You going to drink that?" A voice behind her asked humorously. Eli whipped around to see... something... sitting on the kitchen island. It was like her brain couldn't understand what she was looking at. "Didn't your mom tell you staring is rude?"

"I-I... wh...what are you?"

"What you're looking for," it took the cup from her and downed the blood, making Eli shudder in disgust.

"W-What do you mean?"

"Oh please, dear, you can't be that stupid."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I'm a demon, idiot."

"I am not an idiot! How the fuck did you get into my house?"

"Hah! I'm not inside your house. Well, not in the traditional sense. I'm in your dream. This is a dream, sweetheart."

"Don't fucking call me sweetheart. What do you want."

"Ooh feisty, I like that. It's not what I want, it's what you want," it jumped off the island counter.

"You are not what I'm wanting to summon."

"Yes, yes, I know. But, I can tell you how to properly summon a crossroads demon. Just be sure to mention me to him, hm?"

"What else do you want?" Eli snapped back.

It held its hands up, "oh, my dear, nothing. I just want to be mentioned. Might get me a promotion."

"... a promotion...? What the fuck? What does that mean?"

"It doesn't matter, just listen..." it leaned into her and whispered.

Eli sat up quickly, the sun shining into the living room and her phone blaring loudly to inform her that her friend was calling. She picked up the phone and talked to her friend for a bit before agreeing to meet up at a cafe. She quickly got ready and called a taxi, thinking about her dream the entire time. By the time she was snapped out of her thought, her friend was shaking her arm. Eli looked at her friend surprised, "what?"

Her friend gave her a concerned look, "how are you holding up? You're really out of it today." She took a sip of her coffee, "like... what's goin' in your brain right now?"

"What would you want if you made a deal with a crossroads demon?"

"Oh, you finally got to that episode? Hmm... money or fame. What about you?"

"To be in good health and have a fun and fulfilling career..."

"Huh, don't you want a kid still? I thought you'd ask for something like that," she froze for a second. "Sorry, that came out wrong. I-"

"No, no... you're right... I never thought of that..." Eli sat back in her chair and idly sipped at her frappe.

"Uh... anyway... h..."

Eli had zoned out for the rest of the day until night fell. She gathered everything she needed to summon this... demon... The idea of summoning a demon made adrenaline pump through her body. She wasn't sure if it was fear or excitement... or maybe both? Eli put everything in a bag and grabbed a butcher's knife before heading out. She looked at her cellphone GPS where she marked down a crossroads that was relatively outside of town and away from busy streets. Eli shoved the butcher's knife into her bag when the taxi drove up to her. Eli showed the man where she wanted to go and he gave her a weird look that said 'ok but why?' He took her to where she said and asked her as she was walking into the dark, "are you ok lady? Are you sure this is where you wanted?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Leave," he quickly left as Eli made her way crossroads. She opened a box she brought. "Ok... to do this successfully..." She took out the knife and took a deep breath before cutting her thumb a bit, smearing the blood onto her own photo and onto the white yarrow flowers. Eli closed the big and dug a hole, burying the box in the crossroads.

Nothing happened for a bit, making her the slightest bit embarrassed, but her body got the chills like something was behind her. Eli was the type to hate being scared in such a manner, so, not caring that this was probably a demon, she spoke, "I swear to fucking God, if I turn around and you are right behind me, I will not hesitate to punch you." She heard a quiet chortle and then some steps backing away from her. Eli was prepared to see something monstrous and scary, but... this guy was... normal looking? It looked just like a man in a nice suit with silvery-white hair.

"You actually did this in a proper way... so I guess I can't trick you too much... how may I be of service, love?" His eyes flashed red for a moment and he gave a sharp-toothed grin as he leaned back into a tree.

"Love? Did you just call me love?" The demon nodded, "don't fucking call me that, you mean nothing to me. You are only a means to an end."

"Oh my, so rude to somebody who's just tryin' to help," he looked slightly taken aback by her blatant honesty but tried to keep a straight and cool face. "Who told you how to do the summoning correctly? It's a rare treat."

"I don't fucking remember its name. It was a demon that came into my dream and told me to do it this way."

"Ohhh, my friend... well... I guess I did promise him a promotion if he got someone for me... anyway! What is it you need?" He pushed himself from the tree and took a step towards Eli, an evil look of amusement in his eyes. Eli held the knife like she was ready to fight someone to the death, "love, even if I wanted you to kill me or severely injure me, you wouldn't be able to. Humans can only exorcise demons and harm them with religious artifacts."

"I don't give a shit, I'm putting up a fight whether it matters or not," she said through clenched teeth. He continued walking towards her nonetheless, making her back away slowly until, in the most cliche way possible, she felt a tree blocking her path backward. He got up close, his body touching her body, and looked down at her with a smile.

He grabbed her chin and made her look at him, "did you just summon me here to fuck around with me, or are we making a deal, dear?" He grunted and looked down, seeing the knife stab into his left side. He looked back at Eli with amusement, "I told you, you can't hurt me. You have no power in this situation. Also, this was a brand new suit, ya know, now I have to take it in to get it fixed."

"Let me make it more expensive for you then," she took the knife out of his side and stabbed him again in a different spot. Then she took it out again and cut his shirt, cutting him in the process.

"Stop," he spoke aggressively, her antics starting to get on his nerves. He pushed himself away from her and looked down at his ruined suit, "are you fucking kidding me? Come on."

"Don't get into my space without consent then," she snapped.

"Humans and their consent... jeez..."

"Excuse me? Listen here you little shit," she marched towards him. He took a step back in surprise by her boldness. Eli was so much smaller than he was AND she was just a human, so why was he slightly scared? "Consent is important to have, it makes it so both parties are enjoying whatever they are doing. If one party says no, it means no. Say, 'no means no', right now."

"What on this forsaken p-"

"Say it. Right now," she held the knife up at him. There was silence between them, just eye contact. They stared at each other for a long time... it could've just been 30 seconds or it could've been 10 minutes. Time was insignificant to the demon and the human before him didn't seem to care either. She was going to keep going. Nothing was going to stop her from whatever her goal was, not even him being an asshole.

Holy Hell... she's... beautiful... what the fuck...? He thought to himself. "No means no," he finally spoke and broke the eye contact.

"Damn right," she only slightly lowered the knife, watching him with suspicion, which she had every right to do.

"L-Look, lady... I do not have any intentions of doing anything to you. Not anymore, at least. Just... what do you want?" He spoke softly to her.

"I want..." she lowered the knife all the way down. "I want a child."

He choked on nothing, "w-what!? A- what?! A child?! You could literally have a bunch of money or fame or the love of your life or-"

"I want to have a child," she spoke more sternly and with determination. He was beyond confused. Usually, humans always wanted the same things; money, power, love, etc.... but a child? He's never heard a human ask for a child. Having a child because she wants to bring a new life into the world... was that selfish? Humans are only selfish beings... was there selfishness in this request?

"But why? Just go have one yourself or like-" he stopped speaking, seeing tears in her eyes. "I-It's not-! It's just-! Fuck! I don't know!"

Eli sniffled, "do you really think I haven't tried to have a child of my own? Do you think I would just summon a demon just because I could? You have no idea what I've been through to have a child of my own! I-"

Suddenly arms wrapped around her, strong arms that felt... comforting and held her close, "I-I... You're right... I-... I have no idea what you've been through. But... I can tell that death follows you... so, I can gather an idea of what's happened... but I can't ever truly understand how you're feeling." He made a surprised sound at himself. Why was he comforting a human? Why was he being so nice? He was nearly 6,000 years old and here he was... hugging and comforting some human woman he's just met. He expected to be stabbed by Eli again, but nothing happened besides the sound of the knife clattering to the dirt. Now was his chance. He could do anything to her and she... 'no means no... no means no... no means no...' he repeated in his head. He felt her face shove into his chest and heard her sob loudly. He looked up above the trees at the stars and the moon, some clouds drifting by slowly. The demon rubbed her back idly while glaring at the sky. 'What are you doing to me. What are you planning', he thought into the air, directed at the big man himself. After some time, Eli pulled away and apologized, "no, no... you don't have anything to apologize for. I-If anything... I should be apologizing to you."

"Hah... a demon apologizing..." she sniffled and bent down to pick the knife up, he put his hand onto hers, keeping her from lifting it.

"I'm sorry," he said to her quietly and then took his hand away. She stood up and looked at him with surprise, but there was still suspicion in her eyes. Eli slowly put the knife away into her bag while watching him carefully for any movements. He looked down to the ground, "I don't intend on harming you in any way, but I understand why you're suspicious of me... I still want to grant your wish, so to speak... make a deal."

Eli perked up, eyes wide, "w-wait, really?"

"Yes... I'm sure it's against the rules though... but... I'll just break one rule. For you."

"So... I get to have a child... one that'll live a good long life?"

"I cannot guarantee the good part, but a long life I can."

"What is the ultimatum? 10 years?"

"Ah... see... that's the issue... since I'm breaking the rules for y-this... I have to cut it down to 5 years... n-now I-"

"Deal."

"Excuse me? We haven't even talked about how and when and all that other stuff."

"I don't care, just... deal. I'll take it."

"It's really reckless to just run into a deal without finalizing everything first. A demon could pull tricks and make terrible rules..." he put his hands together and then slowly opened them, a scroll appearing in flames in his hands.

"Well... are you going to do that?"

"No," he untied the scroll.

"Alright then... where do I sign?"

"W-What? You're just going to believe me just like that? What if I'm lying? I'm a fucking demon for hell's sake!"

Eli stared into his eyes for a short while before bringing them down to the scroll, "I trust you."

The demon stared at her for a while, feeling his non-existent soul swell, "...alright... so be it... sign here with your blood." She nodded and took out the knife, it still had black demon blood on it. She poked the tip of her pointer finger, using it as a way to sign. After she finished, the demon looked at her signature, "Elisa... a very nice name... joyful... it seems about right."

"Just call me Eli. What do you go by?"

The demon rolled the scroll closed, tying it up once again, then making it burst into flames, "the deal is done. Just... call me Sam."

"Alright, Sam it is then... what happens now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like... how am I going to have a kid? It just happens or like..."

"A-Ah, right... in the traditional way humans have children."

"Should I go to a club, a dating app, or like... what?"

Sam felt the hairs on his neck stand up, "no! er... I mean... a club would probably be the best fit..."

"Is it already determined who's going to be the father?"

"You see, this would've been stuff to talk about before you signed the deal. Well... nnnnnnnnnoo-yes. Yes, the father is already determined."

"Can I ask who it is? Like what's his name?"

"You'll know it when you see him."

"...Alright..."

"Why are you not afraid?" Sam blurts out. He clears his throat, "I mean... like not afraid to go into the dark, in a place you don't even know, and summon a fucking demon."

"I don't have anything to lose," Eli said flatly. Sam winced slightly, "I need to get home. It'll be a long walk home... thank you for helping me even though I stabbed you a couple times."

"N-Now wait a second. You don't have a ride? Or a car? What about a taxi or whatever that taxi service thing is called on your cellphone."

"It uh... it died. I'm just walking... I don't drive either, so," Eli shrugged and turned away, about to make her way out of the trees. Sam grabbed her arm and pulled her back, accidentally(?) a bit too close, "what the hell? Let me leave."

"No! I... I'll take you home. There are weirdos and bad people driving at night on the highway, I can feel the sin..." he lied.

"What? ... I... uhm... I guess... but how are you going to take me home? I don't imagine you have a car, do you?"

"No, I have something better. I'm a fucking demon. Er... may I hold you closer for safety reasons?"

Eli raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, "just don't try anything with me."

"I won't," he took a deep breath, pulling her closer to his body while he repeated 'no mean no' in his head. He closed his eyes, "close your eyes and don't open them until I say so, no matter what you hear." He opened his eyes and looked down at her, she had her eyes squeezed shut. He nodded and mover his left art out and forward, holding it above his head before making a slow cutting motion downwards. A rip in reality formed, the inside of the rip showed hell and its lovely glow of flames. He stepped into the rip while holding Eli as close as possible, "do not open your eyes." He repeated as the sounds of screaming and torture began. She buried her face into his side and started holding onto him as well. Again, his non-existent soul swelled up and he gave Eli a comforting squeeze. Sam successfully made it to the other rip that was made without running into any other demons. He stepped through that rip and looked at a door to a house he presumed was Eli's house. "You can open your eyes."

Eli peeked an eye open, "where..." she looked at the door, "home... where did you take me?"

"What do you mean?"

"The screaming place," she pointed behind her and started to turn.

Sam panicked, sealing the rip shut immediately, "You can't look at it! It's dangerous! It could damn your soul, trap you there, all sorts of things could happen!"

"Why would that matter? Am I not damned anyway for making a deal with you? I know I go to hell after the 5 years are up."

"W-Well yes... but no... I... If that happens you won't have a kid!"

"Fuck... yeah..." she looked down at the ground, a small smile playing on her lips, "this isn't like some fucked up dream right?"

"N-No. What? Why would it?"

"It just feels unreal..." Eli pulled out of Sam's hold and walked up to the door, digging the keys out of her pocket. Sam reached out slightly, her not noticing at all.

"Well... it's real... I'm glad you're happy," he followed after her.

She unlocked the door and started turning around, "I really am... I really am happy." Eli jumped slightly and looked up at Sam who was behind her. They stared at each other for a long time before he dove in and kissed her, pushing her slightly against the door. Eli's eyes widen in surprise before closing them and kissing Sam back. She reached behind her and grabbed at the air for the door handle, finally getting it and opening the door. They pulled away from each other, both of them flustered, "t-thank you, S-Sam... maybe see you again?"

"A-Ah... y-yeah... of course..." he rubbed the back of his head, "I'd... I'd love to see you again..." He knew it was against the rules to see her again. But... what's two broken rules to a list of nearly 400? He started walking down the stairs. She gave a kind smile, closing the door slowly before pausing and opening it again.

"Sam."

"Oh! Yes?" He turned around, surprised to see her at the top of the steps, eye level with him.

Eli grabbed his tie and pulled him to her slightly, "come here."

"O-Oh? Oh! Ohhh..." he let himself be dragged into the house. "Eli... is this... like... I don't want to get the wrong idea... but..."

"Maybe, play your cards right," she said playfully, still pulling him by the tie. "Take your shirt and coat off," Sam did so quickly, handing them to her, "go sit in the kitchen." He nodded and went there as she did whatever with his shirt and coat. She came out with a white box and walked over to him, "you said I couldn't hurt you because I'm human, right?"

"Yeah... physically."

"Well... that doesn't matter to me. I don't care if you heal faster than normal or it doesn't hurt or anything. It's the principle of the matter," Eli opened the box and pulled out some first aid supplies.

"Eli, you don't-"

"I want to! I... I want to," she got a wet washcloth and started cleaning the dried black blood. The room was in comfortable silence for a good long time before Eli broke it, "I'm sorry for stabbing you twice, cutting your chest, and ruining your new suit..."

"Yo-"

"But you kind of deserved it."

Sam blinked and looked down at her, she was concentrating on the left side stab wound. He laughed, "yeah... I kind of did." He watched her work carefully as they made idle conversation. She was treating him like a person and not some creature that could tear your body to pieces... and he... kind of liked it. Demons never really talked to each other, let alone have personal conversations. Sam put his hand on his chest in surprise, feeling a throb of something or some emotion he's never felt before or hasn't felt in a very very long time.

"Are you ok?" Eli looked up at him with... worry in her eyes?

Sam tore his eyes away from her, "Eli, I need you to get away from me, right now." He warned.

"But, I'm just trying to help you. Why are you getting hostile?"

"Eli, p-please, get away from me. Please. I don't want to hurt you."

"Now you're threatening me?" She stood up and crossed her arms, "in my own house?"

"Eli, you aren't understanding what I'm saying. I need you to get away from me. For your own health and safety," Sam started shaking. "Please, I'm begging you."

"Tell me what's wrong. What's happening?"

"For fucks sake, Eli!" He got off the chair and took a step towards her, "I need you to... get... away from me... right now. Go! Get out of my sight! Hide!"

"H-hide?" Eli took a step back and looked at Sam closely, "o..oh... Oh!" She spun on her heel and ran down the hall and to the master bedroom. 'Ok... closet... no that's too obvious... bathroom... again too obvious... this is so stupid,' she thought to herself as she starts dragging herself under her bed. She gets into a comfortable position where she is one-hundred percent under the bed with no extremities poking out so she'd get yanked out like some horror movie. She steadied her breathing and waited... and wait...

...and waited

.........and waited...

She started getting tired and her body was aching from the way she was laying under the bed... but everything seemed clear. Maybe he was good now? She very slowly, inch by inch, as quiet as possible, pulled herself out from under the bed. She sighed once she was free from under the bed and got onto her hands and knees to push herself up. A sinister laugh came from behind her, "I was wondering how long you were going to stay under there."

She slowly turned around, seeing Sam laying on her bed, "S-Sam...? How did you get in here and onto the bed without me knowing?"

He shrugged, "I'm a demon, love. We have our ways."

"Sam, please... let's just go back to the kitchen so I can finish-"

"Mm, no," he stood up.

"Sam... please..." She slowly stood up.

"You're driving me crazy, you know that? What are you doing to me? What are you planning?" He walks up to Eli and pushes her back onto the floor easily, putting a foot on her chest to keep her down, "tell me."

"I-I'm not doing anything! I'm just trying to be nice!"

"Nobody is nice for no reason. What do you want?"

"There are people who are nice for no reason other than to m-" he pushed his foot down to make her stop talking.

"You are somethin' else, aren't ya?" He drops down to the floor to join her there. Sam reaches over to touch Eli's face, but she swats his hand away. He then grabs her wrist, her other hand coming and trying to get his hand off, only for him to grab that hand too, "just let me show you affection."

"No! Let go of me!" Eli shouts at him, trying to kick him. Sam moves and sits on her thighs, pinning each hand in its perspective side by her head.

"Why?" His eyes were wide and glowing in the dark, his pupils were dilated to their fullest amount as he looked down at Eli.

"Because I said no! No means-!"

"No. No... No!" Sam let go of Eli and threw himself off of her, wildly rubbing his eyes, "fuck! God damn it! Fucking... I'm sorry, Eli... I'm sorry... fuck, I'm so stupid."

"What is the fucking hell was that?!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry... fuck..." Sam stood up and kept rubbing his eyes, "this hasn't happened in 4,000 years..." He walked over to Eli, holding his hand out.

Eli hesitantly took it, Sam pulling her up, "ok, but what was that."

"I... in the past... it's only happened once to another woman... I... I killed her because I couldn't control myself. I was only 1,900 years."

"So, you would've killed me?"

"I'm sure you'd probably want to die after what happens..."

"What would have happened?" Sam gave her a look, "Oh... right... yeah... but why would I want to die?"

Sam laughed nervously, "let's not Uhm... talk about what happens, ok? It's... I... no, let's not talk about that."

"Uhhh..." Eli gave him a side-eye, "alright then... we won't talk about it... for now." Sam nodded and stared at the ground, "come on... let's finish cleaning your stabs. I would've stabbed you again if I had a knife."

"I know..." Sam said. Eli took his hand and dragged him to the kitchen, "why are you not kicking me out of your house?"

"I'll do that after I clean everything up," Eli looked back at him with a smile. Sam just stared for a moment before giving her a genuine and kind smile.

She changed him and he could feel it by the pounding in his chest.

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idv-murder-mystery-utopia · 4 years

Note

😊 meeting for the first time--- oWo &&. My finger slipped btw- (@idv-the-gamer)

👀 Oh hello there EGGUHUREUI-

I didn’t expect you to send an ask (especially when I am about to send you one myself!) but drabble of these two meeting? Its gonna happen and you can’t stop me- //slap

I’m sorry if I answered your ask too late?? Queueing them up + rank schedule on both servers are keeping me busy tonight boys,,,

Anyways enough rambling from me its time for me to do the drabble smh

Miss Nightingale told everyone that a new survivor is coming to the manor. Its been a surprise to hear, especially since there were a few that just came days ago. Then again, what even is a surprise in this ever-growing manor?

Certainly not for the veterans. And the owner themselves.

It was dead in the night, and Adalyn was merely up drinking her coffee while preparing her spare books to work on. She was always so busy, so having to spare some time for the others is a bit rare to see. Although, she did have her fun with the others (and had a good break, so to speak), the novelist still had her job to do to… Well, “satisfy” her readers for all the suspense and cliffhangers she left for them to suffer in.

From book to book did they cried out for answers, but she made no move to give it to them.

It was rather silent as she wrote on her papers when she heard voices. One of them was Emily’s (she hung around with the doctor the most, seeing as she is a rescuer and is always the one who got hurt the most despite utilizing her portals via her pages. Especially to Mary), but the other was unfamiliar.

A new survivor? Interesting, Adalyn paused on her brainstorming, only staying silent to hear their conversation. They’re near to the door, so I might as well listen in…

“So, you must be… Shafin, right?”

“Damn right! Nice to meet ya, ma’am!

… Is she acting like she lived from the west coast?

Color the novelist surprised, since she half expected for the new person to be so formal. Or normal. However, does she shun this sort of change?

No.

She doesn’t.

She only listened to the conversation, but decided to get up and go out of the door when she heard how Emily was dealing with the new survivor.

Opening the door, she gave the two a look of confusion but soon smiled at the new survivor. Well, she looks… Intriguing. She won’t complain much on her attitude – after all, new faces are something you don’t get to see or meet every day. And her personality is quite a surprise for her.

“Excuse me, miss Emily- is she the new survivor we were waiting for?”

The two turned their heads to her, as she left her room and gave the unfamiliar person a nod. She didn’t mean any harm for the other, unless she’s a hunter…

Shafin can only offer a grin to the other, and extended her hand to her as a form of a hand shake. Emily was sweating nervously – she certainly didn’t knew what to do, but can only leave the matters to Adalyn. Goodness, she’s a veteran, too…

“Are you a new surv? That’s awesome! The names Shafin – nice to meet ya!”

Adalyn was surprised, but soon nodded and shook her hand with a smile. Her speech was not something that bothered her, instead she took the offer and shook Shafin’s hand with a smile.

“Of course. I would ask the same, but I’m sure you’re the new survivor Miss Nightingale told us about. My name is Adalyn – Adalyn Adlere. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Emily seemed to have noticed that Adalyn is handling the situation well, and sighed softly in relief. She nodded at the two of them, before facing the novelist with a nervous smile on her face.

Does she have a favor to ask? Maybe.

“Adalyn, can you lead Shafin to her room? I don’t want her getting lost in this hour.” The doctor said with a pleading look in her face, which was mixed with how exhausted she looked. God, she should rest…

“I will, miss Dyer. Get some rest.” The bluenette replied, before facing Shafin (who seemed to be more or so prepared to bombard the two with questions). With a smile, the girl spoke,

“Follow me, then.”

As Emily left to sleep for the night, Adalyn led the other to the room she was assigned in. Thank goodness did she remember where it’s located in – even without her scriptbook (which had the exact location of every room in the manor – she did explore the whole building by herself, alongside the maps. Don’t ask her how – it’s a long story), she had a good memory on where Shafin’s room is at.

“I haven’t seen ya around these parts – or ever, for that matter! Are you new here?” Shafin asked with great interest, only gazing towards the girl who was leading her to where her room is.

“New? I guess you can say that. I just came here recently, so you can say I’m still somewhat new in the manor and how it works.” Adalyn responded, whilst making sure to take the right turns as they went to the room.

“Really? Now that’s a surprise! Actually, would ya believe me if I said I’ve seen most of the people here before I came to the manor?”

She stopped.

“… Pardon?”

Shafin blinked, and soon she can see her head turn with a look of shock.

“Say that again, miss Shafin?”

“You mean about me seeing everyone here before I–“

Now Adalyn approached Shafin, and her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“… How do you know everyone here? How?”

She looked rather suspicious, but most of it was in disbelief. There was no way in God’s name can one know who they all are. Especially for the new survivors and hunters… That isn’t possible!

The gamer can only stay silent, sweating bullets when she saw how Adalyn reacted. Christ, man – do they know that they’re in a video game or something!?

By the looks of things, one can assume that she won’t believe that sort of reason. Especially now.

“Answer my question.”

There was silence,

“...”

“…”

Adalyn lowered her head, sighing. There is no use prying someone who’s stubborn and refuses to answer her question… What was she thinking anywa–

“For a novelist, you sure act like a detective- are you like Kyoko or something?”

“Kyoko?”

The woman turned to her, and she saw Shafin’s eyes gleam when she said her name.

“You don’t know? Kyoko Kirigiri from Dangaronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc! You two act so similar! Though you’re more forward, but still – are ya sure you’re not a detective or something?”

The novelist blinked, but she chuckled nervously and shook her head.

“I don’t know who that is, actually… Mind explaining it?”

“Wait, what?! Well, she’s…”

Alas, this may as well bloom a strange but meaningful friendship between the two. A gamer and a novelist… An odd pairing that would never fade in time.

---

@idv-the-gamer

#no colored text this time bois #pc tumblr do be vibing differently than mobile smh #wanderer's mentor || adalyn #games and endings || shafin #worn tags || answered #divine voices || admin #might add more tags if i can remember hrgh #lifelike paragraphs || musing

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savemefromanepicoftimewasted · 5 years

Text

Growing Up Too Fast

Sam Wilson X OFC Bucky Barnes X Reader Steve Rogers X OFC Time slipped by without anyone noticing, before anyone knew, it was suddenly midnight, the kids still all awake. a/n:this is going to be the final fic to this series, I’m sad to say!

10 Years Later

It felt strange, knowing that the kids were all teenagers already, where had my little babies gone? I mean, it was too bad, even if sometimes Becca, or Sammy refused to acknowledge both Y/N and I if we had to pick them up from school. We wanted to give them a normal life, where people didn’t go after them because I was there dad.

“Your uncle said he’s bringing the kids over to stay so him and Aunt Krista can go on a little vacation, you’ll be on your best behavior, right?” I glanced between Sammy, and Becca, raising a brow when they ignored me.

Y/N shook her head, wiping down the mess that had accumulated on the counter.

“You know, I can text Uncle Tony and have him turn off those devices for the next month.” Becca nearly slammed down her phone, her attention on me suddenly.

“Sorry dad, I was texting Rosie.” Oh, well I guess that wasn’t so bad. “Still, your mom and I said no phones at the table.” Sammy put his phone down before Y/N could grab it from him.

The kids would be here soon, and if I wanted to make sure the house didn’t look like a dump, I’d have to help Y/N clean up.

“They’re here!” Becca jumped up from her seat, running outside to greet Cap, and Grant who’d jumped out of the car.

Rosie was laughing at the two pups that had managed to wrangle Becca down onto the ground, smothering her with kisses. Rosie plopped down beside her, playing with Grant’s ears as Cap laid down on Becca. Sammy headed outside to greet Steve, Krista, and Haley.

“He definitely has a crush on that girl, it’s so obvious.” Y/N wrapped her arms around my waist, running the tips of her fingers along my left arm.

“Trust me, I know.” I shook my head, heading outside to help Steve.

The kids were all talking, too fast for any of us to really figure out what they were saying, maybe it was for the best that no one bothered to ask.

“Hey, thanks for offering to watch the kids.” I shook my head, it really wasn’t a big deal.

“You did it for Y/N and I when we went on vacation, it’s the least I could do for you guys.” Krista called over the two pups, showering them in kisses as the kids all headed inside.

It was late enough that everyone had at least eaten dinner already, but early enough where we could spend some time before everyone had to head off to bed.

Cap followed behind Steve as he headed inside, placing down the kids bags by the door.

“Be good for Uncle Bucky and Aunt Y/N, you guys hear me?” Steve had put on his best Captain America face, how it still worked on the twins, I wasn’t sure.

“Okay dad, have fun with mom.” They all said their goodbyes, giving hugs and kisses to cheeks before Steve and Krista headed off.

The living room was silent for a few moments, before Becca and Rosie broke the silence by announcing they were heading up to her room to hang out and talk. Sammy, and Aj plopped down onto the couch, Haley following suit.

“You guys don’t have to feel awkward here, just want you to know that.” Haley and Aj both looked up, it was weird looking at the kids I’d held as babies so long ago.

“We know Uncle Buck, it’s why dad wanted us to hang out so much when we were younger.” When the hell had they gotten so smart?

“Oh, right.” I nodded towards Aj and headed into the kitchen.

Y/N sighed to herself, plopping down onto the couch and letting Cap jump up so he could cuddle with her. Even though Becca was fifteen, and Sammy was fourteen, I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with four teenagers, and a soon to be preteen. They were on summer vacation, so they weren’t missing any school, but it was still going to be weird.

“Sam said he’s gonna bring Ella by with Anna tomorrow, we were gonna head out and do some grocery shopping.” I swear, that’s what they bonded over the most.

“That’s fine hun, tell him to bring over their swimsuits so we can go swimming.” She was silent, but I wouldn’t doubt that she was sending a text to let Anna know.

The house seemed to settle after a few minutes, the girls upstairs were giggling at whatever was on their phones, while the boys, and Haley, were watching tv with Y/N. It was nice, peaceful in a way that it usually wasn’t. That was due to the two teenagers that liked to make Y/N and I more stressed than we ever needed to be.

I plopped down beside Y/N on the couch, reaching over to pat Cap’s head as he relaxed on the plush cushions.

“He’s getting old, just like his dad.” Cap barely lifted his head, deep brown eyes staring over Y/N to where I was.

“Steve’s had him for what, almost sixteen years? He’s gonna get old eventually.” It was strange looking at the dog that had brought Steve and his wife together, the very dog that helped get me during my own panic attacks.

No, now’s not the time to get upset over the thought of Cap getting old, think of all the good memories you’ve made with him. Steve’s his owner, the person who helped raise him into the dog he is today.

“Are you nervous about giving your press conference on Friday?” Y/N leaned over, resting her head against my shoulder.

“A little, not everyday I get to tell everyone I’m retiring from being an Avenger.” Tony had set us up with a bank account, to ensure we’d still be able to get paid even after stepping down.

“You’re gonna do great.” She smiled softly, pressing a kiss to my jaw.

Sammy groaned, covering his face with both hands.

“Hey, your moms trying to be supportive, don’t act like a little shit.” That got a giggle out of Haley, and Aj both.

“You guys don’t need to be macking it on the couch, we have guests.” Sammy gestured to Aj, and Haley, even throwing a look towards Grant who’d made himself comfortable on the floor.

I couldn’t stop the snort that slipped through, covering my mouth to try and prevent from waking both Cap, and Grant. Y/N simply rolled her eyes, patting my thigh gently before getting comfortable once more.

Time slipped by without anyone noticing, before anyone knew, it was suddenly midnight, the kids still all awake.

“Alright guys, time for bed.” I helped Y/N off the couch, nudging Cap off and pushing him towards the dog bed Steve had left.

“You said Uncle Sam’s coming over, right?” Sammy looked almost hopeful, it was kind of adorable. “Yeah, he’s bringing over Ella too.” Now wasn’t the time to be discussing tomorrow’s plans.

Sammy all but ran up to his room, Haley and Aj heading up to the guest room they would be using to sleep for the rest of the night. Y/N wrapped her arm around my waist, pulling us into the room so she could change, and lay down.

“You’re amazing for doing this for them hun, most people would never agree to watch their best friends teenage kids for a week.” I merely shrugged, pulling out a pair of sweatpants to change into.

“He did it for us, it’s the least we could do for them. And plus, his kids are really well behaved.” When I turned back around, Y/N had her arms crossed, a smirk playing at her lips.

“You’re just a softie and don’t want to admit it.” Y/N changed into her pajamas, laying down in the bed.

I blushed softly, pulling off my shirt and jeans, and pulling on the sweats that Y/N had gotten me as a gift for our anniversary. They were some of the best pants I’d gotten, and I wasn’t about to tell anyone where she’d gotten them. I slipped in beside Y/N, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her flush to my chest.

“I love you, so much.” Y/N’s cheeks were dusted in a light pink, a small smile on her face.

“Don’t gotta sweet talk me Buck, you already got me.” I couldn’t help but scoff.

“Babe, even if I already got ya, I’m still gonna do what it takes to make sure you’re happy.” That caused her cheeks to darken even further. It was beautiful.

She didn’t say much of anything, choosing to curl up in my arms before falling asleep. I’d do anything I could to protect her, and our kids.

~~~ “Dad! Mom says it’s time for breakfast.” Who the hell was yelling at me? And why the hell was the sun so bright?

I rolled onto my back, groaning at the tightness of my muscles for a second before it dissipated, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“What time is it?” I glanced over at the clock, noticing that it was nearly ten thirty.

That was definitely the latest I’d slept in years, normally I was the one getting up and getting everything ready for the day. Did I give off a vibe to Y/N? Or was she using her mother’s intuition to figure out how tired I really was?

“I’m coming.” I pushed out of the bed, heading down to where everyone else was.

The smell of bacon, eggs, and pancakes fill the air enticingly. Y/N was definitely the better cook out of the two of us, but I never forced her to make dinner when she was exhausted. It takes two to make a family, which means equal effort on both sides.

“Smells great babe, how come you didn’t wake me though?” I stepped over to where she was, wrapping my arms around her waist.

“You were sleeping like the dead, figured you could’ve used a few more minutes of sleep.” Oh, well that wasn’t so bad I guess.

The kids were all eating, and even the dogs had already eaten. Man, I really did miss a lot this morning. Well, Sam would be here any minute, and I needed to eat before they got here.

“Go ahead and eat, Sammy’s gonna make sure the pools clean before you guys go in it today.” That was nice of him to do.

I made myself a plate, plopping down at the table and digging in, the pancakes were fluffy, and the bacon just on the right side of too crispy. It was the perfect breakfast to dig into before Sam and his entourage arrived.

Becca was raising an eyebrow at me, while both Haley, and Rosie were giggling to themselves. What was so funny?

“Is it really necessary that you’re sitting at the table shirtless dad?” I glanced down at my naked chest. That’s right, I’d forgone a shirt when Y/N and I had gone to bed. “They’re gonna see it anyway when we go swimming, and besides, the scars are barely visible anymore.” Becca rolled her eyes, finishing off her eggs, and orange juice with a sigh.

And I was right, Sam showed up right as I’d finished eating my breakfast, little Ella running behind in her bathing suit and sundress. She looked absolutely adorable, and it reminded me of when my kids were young.

“Man, do you always have to show off your abs?” Sam gestured to my naked chest and stomach with his hand, Anna, his wife, laughed as she stepped over to Y/N. “I don’t sleep with a shirt on Sam, it gets way too hot if I do.” He'd known that too, because Steve was the same way.

He rolled his eyes, heading into the backyard where all the kids, and the dogs were, heading down to the pool with Ella.

“Anna and I are heading out, so try not to kill Sam before we get back please?” Y/N bent down, her lips pressing against my own in a chaste kiss.

“I’ll try, but no promises babe.” Anna laughed once more before dragging Y/N out of the house.

I headed down to our bedroom, changing into a pair of my own swim trunks before going outside to where the pool was. The weather was a little humid for what I normally liked, but it meant the pool wouldn’t be ice cold. The kids were already swimming around, Sam holding onto Ella as he lazily floated.

“Man, I’m gonna end up living in your pool during the summer, I swear.” Sam propped Ella up a little more, so that her body was half in, half out.

“That how Becca is, especially whenever Steve and Krista come over with the kids.” I stepped over to the stairs, stepping into the pool slowly.

The water was warm, almost like lukewarm bathwater, but it felt nice compared to the sticky air that surrounded us. Maybe Y/N could ask Steve and Krista if they wanted to come over after they got back, have a barbecue with everyone.

“Was it difficult? Retiring I mean?” I’d gone over the pros and cons a million and one times, but the nerves always got to me.

“It was weird at first, not getting called into action if something was ever going on, but when Anna told me she was pregnant I knew that being retired was the better option, never looked back.” That made me wonder how Y/N felt whenever I’d gotten called away on a mission, back when the kids were young.

“Steve’s been telling me to retire for the last ten years, I was just so afraid of something bad happening after I’d stepped down that I couldn’t help myself.” Sam nodded, swimming over to where I was waist deep.

The kids were all splashing, both dogs running back and forth at the deeper end to try and figure out what they were doing. It was a nice scene to watch, to know that my family was going to be safe, no matter who was an Avenger.

“I’m doing my press conference on Friday, mostly because Steve’s coming back on Thursday and I’d hoped he could help give some advice on what not to say.” I’d gotten into arguments with people online, especially when they’d try to degrade either Steve, or my name.

“Don’t swear, that’s the biggest one he’ll tell you. And, don’t slouch.” I looked over to Sam, raising a brow curiously.

He simply shrugged, but then again, he’d already had to do this on his own before.

The rest of the day was spent in the pool, until everyone complained that they’d gotten pruney and it was time to get out and get some food. Y/N was back with Anna, putting away the groceries as five kids ran inside to eat. Sam was still holding Ella, who’d managed to fall asleep while wading around.

“Thank you for having us over, and letting Anna do some shopping on her own.” Sam smiled over at the woman he’d called his wife.

She was everything he ever needed in a woman, and she definitely didn’t take shit from anyone either. Steve had approved of her within a few minutes of greeting her, and Y/N and I weren’t too far behind. She fit right into the little family we’d made, bringing in a little girl for Sam to protect for the rest of his days.

“No need to thank me Sam, it’s what friends are for.” I smiled at him, waving as Anna opened the car to where Ella’s booster seat sat.

“I expect to see you at her sixth birthday next week.” Sam pointed an accusing finger at me as he headed over to Anna.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, you know that.” Anna took the sleeping child from his arms, setting her into the seat and buckling her in before getting into the car herself.

I waved em off, waiting until their car was much too far away to see before heading back inside to sit down and eat dinner. Y/N had offered to cook once more, claiming that she wanted to since we had exerted all our energy while swimming.

“Babe, you know I can do that, right?” She gave me a ‘you better sit down before I make you’ type of look, that meant business.

“I want to do this Buck, so go and relax for now.” I nodded at her, plopping down at the table before she brought out the wooden spoon.

She’d only ever had to use it once before, and that was when she had been pregnant with Becca and I refused to listen. Never again.

I watched as she cooked, entranced with the way she looked so beautiful in doing something that seemed so mundane. It was just spaghetti night, nothing too fancy, and yet she made it look so effortless.

“What’s everyone want to drink?” Y/N had her head in the fridge, looking at the assortment we now had.

The kids all yelled out the same thing, which was hilarious in of itself, I preferred to just drink water with dinner, she knew that. Once everything was done, and mixed together, Y/N handed out the drinks and set the bowl of spaghetti on the table. Everyone scooped out their amount, putting parmesan cheese on top, and digging in happily.

“You make it just like mom does, it’s so good.” Rosie practically melted in her chair, a content sigh echoing in the air.

“I actually taught your mom how to make this when we were younger, especially when we were living on our own and could barely afford bread for the week.” Y/N scooped up a big bite for herself, eating contently.

She’d told me about her past years ago, wanting to get my mind off the way things hadn’t been so positive for myself. I liked hearing the stories though, it was adorable knowing that the woman who gave birth to my two children, had once been utterly terrified of needles.

“Dad tries to get mom to talk about her past, but then she feels bad because of what dad went through.” I glanced over to Y/N, staying quiet to not cause issue at the table.

“It’s understandable though, he didn’t grow up like your mother or Aunt Y/N, he grew up in a time where we were going through the depression, and couldn’t even afford bread for a month. If it’s really bothering her, just have her talk to your aunt, she’ll help her out.” Y/N blushed for a moment, finishing off her plate.

No one else brought up conversation after that, though it didn’t feel awkward, which was a nice surprise. Nothing worse than upsetting your nieces and nephew when they still had to stay at your house. There wouldn’t be bad news to relate to Steve, or Krista when they got back home.

~~~ It felt as if I’d blinked, and Friday was upon us, staring us in the face almost angrily, even though I wanted to deny that it was actually angry. Tony had sent over a suit for me to wear, it wasn’t anything flashy, which was nice for a change, but it meant I needed to change and head to the compound.

“You’ll do just fine, we’ll be waiting for you.” Y/N finished tying the knot of my tie before sliding it up to rest at the base of my throat.

Steve and Krista weren’t back from their vacation, so he’d unfortunately miss the press conference. The kids were happy to go with though, be a little support group when I finished telling the world I was done fighting.

The drive over was nerve wracking, enough to nearly make me sick. Y/N held my hand the entire time, fingers laced with my own. The kids were all quiet, talking amongst themselves about something they were all into at the moment.

The compound loomed over us like a black cloud, the amount of news vans sitting outside brought another wave of fear over me. What if I did manage to screw all of this up? What would happen then?

Tony was standing outside, away from where everyone could see him so he could show us the way inside. Y/N parked and got out, waiting until all five kids were out before stepping around to where I was waiting for her.

“Ready to do this?” Tony stepped over, patting my bicep gently before walking back inside. It was obvious that everyone was sectioned off into a room, unable to see us just yet.

“Nervous, not gonna deny that.” I turned to look at Y/N, who was smiling happily, stepping back to give Tony and I some room.

The reporters were talking softly, though the volume was still too loud to calm my nerves that were currently racing. Tony walked out first, stopping right next to the podium that I would have to stand in front of, and give my speech. I took a slow deep breath, and walked out after him. The cameras were flashing, people yelling out my name to try and get my attention, but I was only here for one thing.

“Thank you all for coming here today, but we’re not here to discuss anything about me, today it’s about my good friend, and fellow Avenger, James Barnes.” Tony stepped away from the podium entirely, letting me step up.

It almost felt as if the world were spinning as I glanced out at everyone, noticing a few familiar faces from watching the news occasionally. Though, there was one face at the very back I recognized immediately. Steve was smiling, trying to hide under the baseball cap he had on. Of course.

“Thank you, Tony. I’m here today to announce my retirement from the Avengers. I’ve been working side by side with them for almost sixteen years, and my time has come to an end. I’ve met some amazing people on the way, and helped save thousands of lives, but now is the time for myself, and my family,” I took a breath, feeling tears well up.

“I thank you for coming out today, and for your support for what we’ve done over the years. Thank you.” I stepped down and glanced over to Tony, before heading out to where Y/N and everyone else were.

As I suspected, Krista was standing with Rosie, Aj, and Haley. She looked the happiest I’d seen in years, so maybe the vacation was long overdue.

“The speech was perfect Buck, told you everything would be fine.” Y/N patted my cheek gently, pressing her lips to my own.

“Thank you hun, I was nearly sweating bullets standing up there.” Steve stepped out of the room, ensuring no one saw him leave.

“Bout time you retired, old man.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

“You’re only a year younger than me punk, watch what you say to me.” Krista laughed, pulling the kids over to where we were.

It felt amazing to watch the family I’d made stand together happily, my two kids standing with Steve and his wife, their three kids laughing together. This was how life was meant to be, and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

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greyliliy · 6 years

Text

You know what? It’s the end of the year. Let’s have a giant personal confessional I’ll probably regret later because I’m oversensitive and trying not to cry while reading this book.

But I haven’t been real with you guys in a while and I feel like getting it all out at once instead of putting it into a conversation with one person and burdening them with it, and who knows, maybe it’ll help someone younger who’s dealing with this stuff now.

So let’s get real & it’s under the cut if you wanna’ read it.

I’m reading a book called Torn by Justin Lee about being a gay christian growing up in the church and it’s sort of terrifying how easy it is to relate to (up to a point). Needless to say, it’s got me thinking about life, my own frustrations, and topics about sexuality that have been weighing particularly heavy on my mind this past year as I approach my mid 30′s.

The first part where he’s discussing that he realizes he’s not attracted to women and that fear that something’s broken in him, is a feeling I know that very, very well. And when he starts talking about how he started to notice guys instead, funny enough, that’s when I realized that I...didn’t experience that either, though I could still relate to his fear of admitting this to other people.

I can’t ever remember being sexually attracted to anyone, or at least I don’t think I have (it’s so hard to pinpoint what exactly sexual attraction is and the nightmare of figuring out if it’s happened or not--but then again, I feel like if I’d felt it, I probably wouldn’t be struggling to figure out if I had or not). I remember wanting to be around people, and to have relationships, but thinking back, I don’t think I experienced it the same way other teens did.

I mean, my first serious boyfriend dumped me because as he put it: "I think you just want to be friends.” Thinking back, I went out with him for a year and we never did anything more than hug, so I can see where he’s coming from.

At the time, I sure didn’t though. I really liked that boy. We went out on dates & did stuff for Valentines and I thought we were happy, but I never made any moves physically and neither did he (at the time I was so happy we were on the same page, because I wasn’t ready, but I guess we weren’t as in sync as I thought) and well, I was informed later by a friend that getting dumped because I “just want to be friends” means “You didn’t put out, idiot, so he found a girl who would.” (They didn’t say the “idiot” part, but it was strongly implied by their tone).

I haven’t had a boyfriend since, because I realized that was part of dating and if I went out with boys they’d expect me to kiss and do things with them and I just...wasn’t ready for that. Dating became something I was terrified of; I couldn’t repeat that experience again. It wasn’t even until after college that I tried dating again, and I can count the number of them I’ve been on in my lifetime without using two hands.

I don’t think I realized it at the time, but I was a little repulsed by guys touching me. Girls were fine, boys not. I think it was a little switch in my brain going “Girl touches are platonic so they’re fine, boy ones have sexual meaning so it’s not.” that meant any time I boy touched me I panicked.

And then college hit.

I kinda knew people were having sex in high school but no one talked to me about it. There was this understanding that I had no clue about anything to do with that subject and they liked to keep it that way.

In hindsight, it hit me how much they teased me about it. I was that person who asked once at a friend’s house “How do lesbians have sex?” and they giggled “They scissor.” while miming the motion with their fingers - I didn’t get the joke and thought they were entirely serious and just accepted that answer and tried to picture how that would work. Imagine my face years later when I saw an episode of a certain show that that quote came from and I died a little inside because “Oh. They were making fun of me.”

(I also found out years later pretty much everyone I knew were all convinced I was a closeted lesbian and waiting for me to just come out already, which makes that confrontation all the worse, somehow.)

But if I wasn’t getting teased about how little I knew, they just didn’t talk about it at all.

College was an entirely different matter because I frankly couldn’t avoid the topic if I wanted to. It was in my health class (one of my gen ed. classes ended up being half Sex Ed.), it was in the free condoms they handed out, it was in my major classes (a film class I was in had a long segment that took up most of the semester titled “Sex in film” and I ended up seeing a lot of rated r films and sex scenes I had avoided in high school just because I tended to watch animated films & pg-13 ones more than anything), and well, college kids have a lot of sex, I discovered.

On my first day of freshman introduction week I ended up in a guy’s dorm who already had a “women I’ve slept with” chart on the wall that already had tick marks on it (I was there for all of five seconds while the person I was visiting got his things and we got out; I never saw any of them again the rest of the year).

Culture shock is an understatement.

And all of it made me uncomfortable. I didn’t get it. I didn’t get it in high school when people talked about wanting other people that way, and I sure as heck didn’t get it in college. But I had convinced myself one day I would. I kept thinking: “One day, I’m gonna meet that one guy that makes me feel all this sexual tension I keep hearing about and then we’ll date, and fall in love, and get married, and it’ll be great.” That’s what people kept telling me. “When you meet the one, you’ll know.”

(For the record, it still hasn’t happened, or if it did, it wasn’t over a boy and I’m in deep, soul crushing denial about it.)

I never did find that dating scene but instead, I discovered Boys Love (”Yaoi” at the time.) At first, it was a really guilty thing because I grew up Christian--and still am--(another relatable thing in this book I’m reading; the fear of your own church) and it was “Sinful” but...the stories and art were so good, and I felt bewitched. I remember reading FAKE and seeing how much they loved each other and I don’t know, it was just. Good.

And it was safe. I didn’t have to think about my sexuality when it was only boys on the page. I wasn’t an issue, or a topic, or had any part in it. I was reading about other people and it was fictional which meant it wasn’t real so I didn’t have to feel guilty trying to fantasize about real people (something that still makes me feel really skeevy.)

This went on for a few years and BL was pretty much the only thing I read/watched/did anything with. My roommates knew me as that obsessed BL fangirl and loved to tease me (but also encouraged it; my one male roommate in my senior year apartment expected my “couple of the day” picture posted to his door & bought me doujinshi as gifts. Thinking back, I’m blessed and grateful no one gave me a hard time about it).

I eventually discovered the more graphic, erotic side of BL and that was an experience, because I liked it.

A lot.

This is embarrassing to admit, but the first time reading a couple of those more graphic stories I felt different, and weird in my own skin, and kinda awkward (it freaked me out at the time). I described the exact symptoms to my friend in an IM because I was confused and she laughed at me: “You’re turned on, idiot.” (Again, the idiot was strongly implied but not straight out said. Not that I noticed at the time.)

It was like a bomb dropped. That was what people felt when they talked about getting hot and bothered. That’s what the people in high school and college were talking about when someone touched them. I had a point of reference.

And it hit me that thinking about a living, breathing person had never made me feel that way. Not even close.

That was the first time I felt really broken.

And that was when I got desperate to fix it.

In 2007 all of those feelings exploded into an art project I called “Shout it Out.” (It is my one and only Daily Deviation to this day), and that project is the only reason I can share all of this with you right now. Because in 2007 I wrote down every guilty thought, every embarrassing fact, and every thing I was ashamed of & proud of and at this point, there’s not much I can tell you that can top it.

And maybe also, I read the description and realized I should follow my own advice:

Someone told me once, that she believed we make life hard for ourselves by keeping things bottled up inside. Whether it be due to shame, embarrassment, fear, pride or some other emotion we don't share the things that are on our hearts like we should. We wallow in them and never realize that everyone else feels the same way. Our conflicts, our dreams, and the things that make us who we are should be free to be spoken out loud.

It was a big deal for me at the time, and sometimes I wonder where all that courage went. I don’t feel the same way as I did then on a lot of the topics, but at the time, that’s where my mind and heart were.

Over half of the text is related to sex. Reading it now, it sounds like I was a lustful, sex-crazed twenty-something who struggled to keep myself from jumping everyone (”I want to have sex so bad it hurts...” to quote one of the lines).

But the truth is, while I was obsessed with sex in media (manga, BL, romance novels, health sites,) learning everything I could, I’m learning more and more that how I experienced an obsession with sex wasn’t how many other people experience it.

I was obsessed with reading everything I could about sex because I was desperate to relate to some of it. I had fantasies about sex and myself because I kept thinking that maybe it’d click one day (and boy did I try thinking about a lot of different scenarios desperate to find myself attracted to anything). But many of those thoughts ended up forced or ineffective. I kept trying anyway.

I wanted to feel normal.

(Though that sort of failed too, since most of those fantasies ended up being about girls, and myself wasn’t necessarily involved in the picture.)

I remember desperately wanting to have sex because I thought if I did that then I’d suddenly have a light pop on in my brain that goes “This is why everyone else loves it! This is what I’m missing!” I’d have sex and then I’d be normal and feel attraction like everyone else does because I’d know what it feels like.

In the end, my strong conviction of “No sex until marriage” won out (For the record, I’m still basically of the philosophy that sex outside of committed relationships is a bad idea), but I kept reading smut.

So much in fact, that it became an addiction and it was all I looked at or did. It wasn’t a healthy place for me, and I’d rather not go into exact details, even if this has been a rather detailed sharing session. But I can say that it got so bad that I had to remove myself from the subject entirely at one point and pretty much cut myself off from the BL Community cold turkey. If it was digital, I deleted it. If it was a fanfic site, I stopped visiting. No anime. No manga. No doujinshi. No nothing. My physical media was shoved in the closet (that was a lot of money I wasn’t just going to throw out) and called it a day.

Heck, part of the reason I try to avoid a lot of erotica works is just because it reminds me of those bad times. (And the funny side effect that I read so much of it at one point that now it’s kinda boring because I’ve seen just about all of it).

But as I’m sure you’ve seen from my fanfiction and books, I slowly found a path of moderation. I’m re-reading my old BL books that I’m taking out of the closet and remembering why I loved these stories and art, and just coming to terms with myself in general that BL & straight romance novels might be the only way I’ll experience those sorts of feelings toward another person.

It’s probably why I like the genre so much, while I’m reading I can pretend, and that’s good enough for me. I can write romance without having experienced it and that’s a win in my book.

The truth is, I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that while I’d love a spouse of some sort and who knows, maybe something still might happen yet if there’s someone out there willing to be patient and wait, I can admit that I just don’t experience attraction to other people.

If I could go back to a young me, I’d tell myself to learn more when I’m younger so I didn’t feel so stupid when I was older.

I’d tell myself that it’s okay that I didn’t like anybody and that I didn’t have to feel obligated to find a boyfriend.

I’d tell myself that even if I’ll be struggling with trying to figure out myself and my feelings for the rest of my life, that it’ll be okay.

I’d tell myself that I’m not broken.

So on this last day of 2017, before I go back to reading my book and the rest of things I was going to do to day, I’m going to find a little bit of that courage I used to have in 2007 and just say now what I wish I’d known ten years ago.

I do also get the irony that I’ve sort of indirectly been admitting to it for a while now, but this is me saying it:

I’m asexual.

See you all next year, and now if you don’t mind: I’ve got books to read, random things to reblog, and a comic to draw.

#Liliy Stuff #I can't stop you from reblogging #but I'd rather you didn't. XD #Comments are fine.#I'm now officially emotional exhausted.#I don't know if I'll regret this or not.#But if you want the short version #It's a long story about how I figured out I was ace.

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