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#anxious people book summary
yourmidnightlover · 20 days
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forever?
pairing: mob!bucky x reader
summary: after being forced into a marriage you didn’t want, you become very cautious of your new husband out of fear of what he’s capable of when one of his employees makes a move at a dinner meeting.
warnings: anxious reader, threat of domestic violence (reader is just worried abt it), groping, please let me know if i missed something or need to add anything!
a/n: reader is very timid in this. i know a lot of people like a reader who doesn’t take shit and stands up for herself, but i often find myself in situations where i just shut down and don’t know how to respond… so this is kinda inspired by that feeling
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two months out of forever.
two months of what seemed like wedded bliss from the outside.
in reality, that “bliss” included sleeping in separate rooms, never even seeing each other unless necessary to make appearances for either of your parents. 
the ones who arranged for this to happen in the first place. 
you were just glad you were able to have your time for yourself. you thought you would use the time to continue writing for your book, but you’ve hit a serious case of writers block. so lovely. 
on the bright side, he wasn’t as controlling as your few friends had made it seem he would be. 
they had painted this picture of a monster in your head. a man who would loom over your presence during every waking second. a man who was controlling and wouldn’t let you have a personal life or secrets.
so far, he’s been the opposite. 
for some reason, that still leaves you unsteady. 
because they also painted him in a very violent, angry, red light. 
but maybe he had a mistress. if that were the case, he truly didn’t respect you or your family. it didn’t seem like bucky to do that, though. he wouldn’t ruin a business deal that benefitted him so much. 
the reason you married him was because your father’s finance business was going under, drowned in debts while the only options were to sell to the barnes’ or the rumlow’s. the barnes’ seemed the lesser of two evils.
the only way to smoothly transition your father’s business to be under the barnes’ control without raising any question of your father’s capability was to marry. if any questions were asked about why your father sold his company, the not so good side of the finance industry would trample after your entire family. the barnes’ would get a new company and their many clients, while your family wouldn’t become entirely blacklisted by the entire country, would be putting your family under the barnes’ protection, and there would be less questions asked as to why the company had been merged.
you had a few months of “leaking” images of you and bucky together into the tabloids to prepare the public for the news of such a big marriage. some were photos of you and bucky holding hands while walking. a couple of you at a restaurant smiling. a few staged kissing photos… those may or may not have been your favorite.
those times spent with him, in all honesty, weren’t bad at all. going for walks together at sunset, dinner dates, feeling his lips against yours…
you had gotten to know more about his childhood that the tabloids didn’t feel was important to cover. his favorite subject in school and how he actually lost his arm so many years ago. you learned each others’ fears and worries in life. your favorite thing to learn about him, however, was what he truly wanted in life. 
peace.
a couple weeks after the wedding, a few photos of the reception were once again “leaked” in order to sell the “too in love to wait” bit that everyone had started assuming upon seeing the first few photos of you and bucky together. 
but all of your history with him flew to the back of your mind as bucky knocked on your office door. 
“come in,” you replied hesitantly, not sure what he wanted from you for the first time since your wedding. he stepped through the threshold and stood at the doorframe. 
“there’s a work meeting tomorrow,” his hand remained on the doorknob, so stiff you’d think he might rip it off the precious white wood in seconds. “the men are meeting at the house. i wanted to let you know. the men in this business, they expect marriages to be of the… traditional values.”
you nodded with understanding, turning to face him with a forced grin. “so i should play the part of the doting housewife, huh?” no smile in return, so you bit back your humor in turn for matching his serious tone. “what food should i prepare, then? and uh, how many guests will we be expecting?”
“whatever’s easiest for you,” he shrugged lightly. “there will be 9 of us there.” with one final look in your direction, he left the office and didn’t return to say goodnight. 
-
the next morning you got to work setting the house up for the 6pm meeting your loving husband was hosting. 
you had decided to set up a buffet-style table outside of the main dining room where the meeting would take place. for the menu, you settled on simple grilled chicken with quite a few side options. roast potatoes, asparagus, sauteed carrots, green beans, and rolls. 
you were putting the rolls in the oven when bucky got home, seemingly entranced by the smell of all the food, heading straight to the kitchen.
“it smells amazing in here,” bucky called from the archway of the kitchen. you jumped slightly from the surprise, but swallowed down the shock and another weak smile. 
“thanks,” you nodded to the edge of the island where a large chalkboard sat, your handwriting neatly displayed on the board that listed all the food to be had. “the menu. i figured a variety would be nice, and who doesn’t like chicken, right?”
“vegetarians,” if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was telling a joke. but you knew better than that. “the men are coming in a little less than an hour. do you maybe want to change before they get here?”
you looked down at what you were wearing, a pair of blue jeans and a loose t-shirt clearly not worthy of someone who had married a barnes man. “right, of course. i’m sorry,” you finished setting the timer on the oven and ran upstairs to get yourself put together before bucky saw the tears trying to seep past your waterline. 
you settled on a black cocktail dress you had worn to one of your dad’s company events before the downfall… quickly swiping some makeup on to cover the exhaustion in your eyes and pulling your hair up to a more respectable updo rather than your typical messy bun. 
luckily you had become an expert at quickly getting ready from your time in university, as you were back in time to pull the rolls from the oven, but not before pulling on your apron. you’d be dammed if you got this stunning dress dirty right before this prestigious meeting. 
t-5 minutes before the meeting was supposed to begin and you could already hear lots of rustling from the formal dining room. you knocked on the closed doors before bucky opened the door for you. 
the men went silent as their gaze rested on you in the doorway. 
“the foods ready. buffet style?” your eyes didn’t leave bucky’s pretty blues, too scared to do anything wrong in front of his men. 
“that’s perfect, my love,” his hands gravitated to your waist before pulling your body taut against his, one hand moving a stray hair behind your ear before leaning in to whisper. “you look ravishing…”
as he pulled back, you were sure your blush was evident across your cheeks. you tried to hide it behind a smile, shrugging with a shy ‘thanks’ leaving your lips. 
“what do you say to my stunning wife, boys?” his hand squeezed your waist once more before turning to the other men, ‘thank you’s being echoed throughout the room as they stood and made their way to the kitchen to make their plates. 
in a matter of minutes, all the food was gone. you figured it was best they liked the food, even if you didn’t get to try any of it yourself like you had planned. 
you got started on cleaning everything up with earbuds in your ears, starting with the dishes already in the sink from when you were cooking. then, you were sure to place the dishes that the food was in inside the sink for you to clean before starting on wiping the counters, then sweeping, then mopping, and then back to the dishes. 
you didn’t realize that bucky had called for a break in the meeting, however. you were in for quite the rude awakening when you felt a pair of hands on your waist, but not the ones you were semi-familiar with. 
you turned around with a gasp, shock evident on your face as you tried to piece together whoever this man was. blond hair, blue eyes… definitely not steve though. you knew steve well and had seen him often. 
you pulled your earbuds from your ears in attempt to better understand what was going on. his hands were still gripping your sides, but you couldn’t necessarily escape his touch. you were backed against the sink. even if you could fight him, you’d likely lose to his strong grip. 
“is the meeting-is it over already?” your voice was so much more cowardly than you’d ever expected yourself to be. 
“no, no,” he shook his head. “just a little break, some of the guys were getting antsy.” you leaned back further, trying to create some semblance of space between you. “i figured i’d say a special thank you, on behalf of all of us guys in there.” he let one hand cup the side of your face and neck, his other hand trailing down from your waist, firmly grasping your ass with a sqeeze before you jumped at the invasion.
“i don’t-i’ve got it…”
“john,” he smiled grossly, as if he could convince you to go to bed with him.
“no need for a thanks,” you tried to remind him. “i did this for bucky. for my husband.” your eyebrows rose, trying to emphasize that his boss was also your husband. 
“i’m sure he won’t mind you getting a little bit of extra special attention, don’t you?”
then, a growling voice cut through the fear running through your veins. 
“i think he might mind.”
you turned to face bucky with wide eyes before facing john, wishing the tears welling in your eyes would just go away. 
his hands slowly retracted, stepping back with a chuckle.
“sorry, sir,” he smiled before turning to face your husband. “she was just telling me how she wanted some extra attention, weren’t you, toots?” he tilted his head expectantly.
your mouth opened, nothing leaving in spite of your brain screaming at you. what would bucky do? would he take his side? would he believe you? would he hurt you? 
you’ve embarrassed him now… humiliated him in his own home. surely he’ll take action against you for this. 
your mind replayed stories your old friends had told you about him. how he would lash out at men that betrayed him. how he never took shit from anyone who showed him any disrespect. how he was the kind of man to shoot first and ask quesitons later.
and now, in a way, you’ve both betrayed and disrespected him. or at least, that’s what he’ll think. 
you didn’t even realize tears were flowing down your face until your sobs were interrupted. 
“enough!” you finally looked at bucky before his eyes softened for a second before walking closer to you. “go to the room.” he ordered sternly. 
“but the dish-”
“i’ll take care of it,” he interrupted gravely, “go. to. the. room.” 
“yes, sir,” you nodded and swiftly left the room entirely, collapsing against the door once you had shut it, sobs wracking your body. you held your knees against your chest before trying to regulate your breathing.
he won’t hurt you.
he has to protect his image.
you’ve embarrassed him.
you’re his wife.
you’re his business deal.
you’ve humiliated him.
he’ll hurt you.
you didn’t know how long it had been since the incident. 
your sobs had subsided. you had, at some point, moved to your bed. you were still rocking your body back and forth, trying to self sooth. 
and then there was a knock at the door. 
your body instinctively jumped at the sudden noise, although it wasn’t harsh in any manner, at least not one that you were expecting. 
he twisted the knob, slowly opening the door with slow movements. 
“i-i’m so sorry,” you began apologizing as soon as he stepped through the threshold into your room. “i swear-i swear i didn’t tell him that. i didn’t even realize he was there, i promise. i wouldn’t lie to you. i’m so sorry, i’m so sorry. please believe me.” your body was still rocking and you didn’t even notice he was as close to you as he was until you saw his hand moving by your head.
automatically, you assumed the absolute worst, your head ducking into your body like a fucking turtle, the meekest squeal leaving your lips mixed with a sob. your arms went over your head protectively, as if a bomb were about to go off.
“sweetheart,” his voice sounded so broken, so torn, so unexpectedly soft. 
you finally looked at him for the first time since he came in your room. his flesh hand was holding his metal one as if it were something that could kill. in ways, it was. 
“you-there’s no need to…” after looking at him for a second longer, you noticed that his eyes had tears that almost mirrored your own. “i would never, ever lay a hand on you. i’m so sorry for scaring you. i can’t…” he sighed. “i can’t believe i made you believe i’d ever hurt you.”
“i’m sorry,” you pleaded with him once again. 
“you have nothing to apologize for,” he hesitated to reach for your hands before settling on simply grabbing a spare pillow. “i came up here to apologize. for my tone earlier… i know john. he never knows his boundaries. i should’ve… you never should’ve been put in that situation. that’s my fault. that’s on me. and i will spend the rest of forever to make it up to you.” 
“you don’t have to-”
“no, my love,” he shook his head. “can i-can i hold your hands? please?” you, without hesitation, grabbed his hands yourself. “i need to make it up to you. you’re mine. you’re my wife. it’s my job to protect you, to keep you safe. and to have someone ruin that? to touch what’s mine in my own home? i’m so sorry.” he brought your hands to his lips, pressing at least ten kisses to each hand. he was so gentle and careful it was a good thing you knew better than to think it actually meant anything.
you were surprised, to say the least, at how tender he was being with you. 
how could you have ever thought he would hurt you? that he would raise his hand and swing? that he would cause you harm? he was here declaring that he would make up this incident for the rest of eternity when it wasn’t even his doing… 
“will you stay with me tonight?” his eyes lit up at the request.
“are you sure you want that?” he became a touch more reserved. “i don’t know if it’s a good idea since you were worried i would…” his voice trailed off.
“i’m sure,” you nodded before scooting over in the bed. 
sure, your marriage was arranged and didn’t stem from true love. you may not have talked outside of when absolutely necessary. you might have even been terrified of him at one point. 
but now, the thought of forever with bucky barnes didn’t seem half bad. 
1K notes · View notes
ghostlyfleur · 3 months
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𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡.
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steve harrington x fem!reader
summary: the sweet progression of steve and his pretty girl’s relationship.
warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, idiots in love, oblivious!reader, shy!reader, inexperienced!reader. pet names (angel, baby, flower girl, pretty girl, princess, sweet girl). 18+ mdni, smut-adjacent. world building.
word count: ~4.5k
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pre-relationship—
steve’s girl friend is a soft spoken, remarkably sweet, gentle soul. she’s shy, way too anxious, so inexperienced that she comes off as innocent. her wardrobe consists of flowy skirts and flowery dresses and soft sweaters and cozy knits, puts flowers in her hairdos like interwoven in braids or tucked in a half-up half-down mess, has this ethereal vibe to the makeup she likes to wear (ie. shimmery eyeshadow in soft colors, highlighter, sparkly lipgloss, white waterline pencil, fairy wing eyeliner designs, and slightly blushy cheeks), wears silver wire-framed glasses at home when not using contacts and steve thinks it brings out her gorgeous eyes even more. she always wears pretty dangly earrings with flowers, her nails painted with glitter nail polish or neutral soft colors, and steve thinks she’s an angel.
the rest of the people in town mostly think her to be weird and unapproachable, with the way she stops mid walk to crouch down and whisper softly to a ladybug she sees on the sidewalk, or when she accidentally bumps into a street pole and yells out a panicked ‘sorry!’ as if she would hear a reply back.
when steve first met his girl, he was enchanted.
she was so soft and beautiful and kind, but also very anxious; something he noticed the first time she walked into scoops ahoy, and steve was so excited to finally talk to the pretty girl that started working at the flower shop down the block that he’s been pining for. the pretty girl’s reaction to his flirting however was of shyness, nervousness, and seemingly scared silence… so steve decided to make a fool out of himself just to see her smile. it was worth it. steve felt as if her laughter was the equivalent of the skies opening up to let sunshine peak through dark clouds. they eased their way into each other’s lives after that. his girl started seeking him out, finding comfort and safety in his presence and caregiving personality, though remaining clueless of his feelings and just how much robin teased him for being a smitten fool.
“pretty flower girl” is how steve referred to her at the beginning, all heart eyes and dreamy sighs. working at a flower shop seems to fit her so entirely, like she’s in her own little world while surrounded by flora. she’s able to tell you the meanings, both positive and negative, of any flower imaginable, of different plants too! keeps a log book and a journal to track her flora friends’ growth, pressed flowers and polaroid pictures of different bouquets, photographs each beautiful arrangement she creates in a picture album.
her home is also completely taken over by pots and plants and gardens and hanging vines, secrets whispered to them while she waters her little friends as needed, full conversations kept that seem to make all the plants bloom and flourish even more. lots of natural light comes in from the many windows of her cabin, surrounded by greenery and trees and a small pond that wild animals often visit, knowing her safe haven is also a safe haven for any animals. the place always smells like whatever she’s baking, the decor homey and filled with crystals and incense and hand painted mugs and vases. greens, yellows, oranges, and tan colors. books balanced on any available surface.
she becomes steve’s girl best friend, and he loves her so much. worships her, really. steve makes it his mission to spoil and love his pretty girl, even if he hides it behind silly flirting and the pretense of friendship.
whenever they’re together, steve and his girl are all the other sees. the gang has a little bet on who will break first, steve or his flower girl.
her sit is always his lap.
steve swears off other girls as soon as he meets her.
he is very affectionate towards her, and she loves to kiss his cheeks.
they often have sleepovers just the two of them.
they’re so close they can just exist together and be at peace.
she’s so supportive of him too, always praising him and hyping him up.
steve is overprotective of her.
whenever one goes the other sure follows.
see, steve’s girl is so sweet on him it drives robin crazy. because robin knows the feelings are reciprocated, but she also knows both steve and his girl enough to know she needs to let them figure this out by themselves. it doesn’t mean robin isn’t their number one fan, though.
steve’s pretty girl bakes him sweets often to bring to him at work to “make your day a little easier, stevie”, she brings him flowers from her job that steve learns to preserve in his room, she gives him her favorite ring that he never takes off. but steve also does little things for his sweet girl— takes care of her and buys her chocolate because it makes her so happy and giddy he falls a little more in love each time. he also reminds her to drink water, buys her favorite snacks for movie night or when she’s on her period, takes her to the movies, drives her everywhere (because she’s his pretty passenger princess) to have some extra time with her.
oh! steve’s girl also has a bunch of homemade gifts that she keeps in a small glass trunk in her home because she’s too shy to give them to her stevie— handmade bracelets, handmade wire rings, pretty things she finds at thrift stores that remind her of her pretty boy, handmade necklaces, small gifts with pressed flowers, letters she writes down because she feels so deeply for her sweet boy that she needs to let it out somehow, and a bunch of other small gifts that she hopes one day she can give to her stevie to show him how much she loves him.
she’s so lovely to her stevie without even realizing, though. she’s demiromantic, you see, and after becoming friends with steve she started to slowly fall for him. the thing is, she knew very well what was happening, she’s very in tune to her emotions, and she fell for him willingly! whereas steve fell for her fast and kept falling.
imagine his girl never had her first kiss… she’s so inexperienced and her sweet persona and gentle demeanor make her seem like the softest person ever. steve is so mesmerized by her.
he flirts with her and is sweet to her and devotes his time to her and spoils her rotten and gives her kisses and hugs and cuddles and all the love he has to give— steve quickly decided that even if they’re ‘just friends’ he’ll still treat her like his princess, give her everything he can and shower her in his adoration until she catches up. and even then, even when it’s so obvious that steve is in love with her, that he blushes and stutters and gets flustered only for her, that he shows her every day just how much he loves her, she remains oblivious.
in her pov, she knows she’s in love with her stevie so she’s going to treat him like the most precious person in her world. which he is. the thing is that she gives him all of her love without ever once considering that he might return it, even as he flirts and quite literally says he’s hers and she’s his all the time, it never even crosses her mind to actually believe it. maybe because she’s trying to protect herself from heartbreak. she just decides that her stevie deserves the world so she’s going to give him all she can.
but she’s so soft with him! holds his face between her hands when talking to him sometimes like she’s holding her whole world on her hands, presses kisses to his cheeks all the time, gives him hugs. she always compliments him, isn’t afraid of telling him exactly what’s on her mind…
“you look so pretty, stevie”
“i’m so proud of you.”
“i missed you lots today!”
“i saw this cute puppy and it reminded me of you ‘cause you’re just as cute!”
“i always prefer your company.”
flower girl is the most adorable sight steve has ever seen! she pouts so prettily whenever she doesn’t get the attention she wants from him, all soft lips and furrowed brows and plush cheeks crossed arms, and steve just wants to pepper kisses all over her face.
her love languages:
she bakes him cookies ; buys him things that remind her of her stevie ; plans these cute little “friend” outings that feel more like dates ; she’s never lacking in her affections though she’s very timid and shy when it happens ; will defend him no matter what ; makes sure to always praise him ; she gets all cranky if someone insults him even playfully ; she’s very shy so she often hides her face on his chest or neck and it makes his heart flutter ; she helps him babysit bc the kids love her ; she gave her stevie a special arrangement of flowers that she created just for him plus a little booklet of pictures of the two of them together that also had pressed flowers on it for his birthday ; she checks in with him every day even if they don’t see each other to make sure her stevie is doing okay ; will stay on the phone with him all night especially if he had a nightmare or a fight with his parents.
where steve’s best friend is all cute and pouty and sweet and clingy and loving but only to her stevie!!!!! and she’s a bit ditzy— talks to animals and plants and inanimate objects like they can answer her, her thoughts jump from one thing to another but steve always entertains her, she skips instead of waking a lot, she dresses all cute and coquette and always has glitter on her somewhere, she gives steve handmade gifts all the time with this shy little smile and blushing and sometimes when the gift is specially meaningful she’ll run away as soon as he accepts it 🥺 she trips over her own feet a lot too!!! so steve has to grip her waist to help her find her footing!!! and it makes her break out in goosebumps!!! and steve is so in love with her, with her ramblings and midnight ice cream cravings and true crime rants and the way she talks about murder and psychopath profiling and laughs at horror movies and has crystals and tarot cards and wants to befriend ghosts, how she gives her stevie little glass bottles with protection spells or anti-anxiety spells or how she always needs to hear his voice before bed.
and she’s so pretty and soft and kind and nice and laughs a lot and everyone loves her— but she never notices how so many people flirt with her, and never notices whenever steve scares possible suitors away, because really she only sees steve!!!!!! and it makes him crazy to see how she blatantly ignores anyone and everyone to focus on him!!!!!
but then one day steve’s girl starts feeling sad and heartbroken because she’s convinced herself that steve still loves nancy so she starts pulling away a little and steve doesn’t understand what he did wrong! robin has to spell it out for him that his girl thinks he still wants nancy when that couldn’t be further from the truth; steve now knows he’s never truly been in love before, not like he is with his angel, and that it was his angel that showed him he deserves someone who loves him just as much as he loves them. therefore, steve does his best to find ways to tell his girl that nancy is in the past, that she has nothing to worry about, but he has to do so while him and his angel aren’t together yet so he slowly breached the subject until he can figure out where his girl stands, if he can make a move, if she’s interested in him too, y’know? like those conversations filled with a deeper meaning and both parties trying to drop hints about their feelings but they’re still too hesitant to be more clear in their affections. for now.
imagine steve spoiling her and making her all giddy and happy and shy and giggly :( i want steve to treat his baby like royalty way before they even get together :( i wanna read about their first kiss and how it makes steve’s knees buckle and how she’s so giggly because it’s her first kiss and he tells her he wants to marry her right then and there and she tells him she never ever would consider being with anyone but her stevie :(
after they get together—
their first kiss happens in what steve considers to be the best night of his life to date.
it was halloween, and he was slightly nervous about going to the fair with not only the kids and robin and eddie, but his girl too. the year before, he stayed in with his angel and robin watching movies and eating junk, which was the perfect night ‘cause he got to cuddle his girl, but last halloween he went out to celebrate didn’t end up being very enjoyable for him… what with having your now-ex call you bulshit, bullshit, bullshit.
however, this is his girl he’s talking about. while it wasn’t a date, simply a hangout with their friend group, steve still considers his girl, well… his. and the fact she insisted on meeting them there herself had him slightly on edge.
she was dressed as a fairy.
steve has never seen anyone as pretty, as mesmerizing. and the way she treated this night, treated him, was driving steve crazy.
first, once she meets everyone at the entrance of the amusement park they agreed to go to, she insists on paying for both herself and steve. literally grabs steve’s wallet from his hand and only gives it back after she pays.
he, of course, only really allows it because she gives him her — in steve’s opinion illegal — pouty puppy eyes that she knows steve can’t say no to.
afterwards, once they all enter and the kids disperse to the various entertainment with the agreement of meeting up later to eat, steve’s girl drags him away from robin and eddie, who were both sporting knowing grins, to a shooting booth where she proceeds to win, suspiciously easily might he add, a stuffed frog for him.
and then she grabs his hand. albeit hesitantly, but she does. intertwining their fingers and everything.
the entire night was a dream for steve, and unbeknownst to him, for his girl too. she had a plan, you see. his angel was pulling out all the stops, even if she was shy and blushy the whole time— paying for the tickets for both of them was number one. followed by winning steve a stuffed animal, holding his hand, sharing fried oreos and cotton candy (again, paid by her), and going to the photobooth. the ferris wheel would be last, but it’s what happens inside the photobooth that matters.
once inside, steve made sure she was sat on his lap. she payed again. the pictures go a little something like this:
1st pic steve is laughing and she’s looking at him like he’s her dream come true which he is / 2nd pic she pushes forward not being able to wait any longer and quickly presses her lips to his a bit messily / 3rd pic is her looking all flustered and shy and doe-eyed while steve has this dazed look in his eyes and his jaw is dropped / 4th pic is steve grabbing her cheeks and kissing her fully, brows furrowed and all.
steve steals another kiss at the top of the ferris wheel, it was giggling and smiling more than kissing, though.
on the drive home, angel makes a stop at their self-assigned star gazing spot where she officially asks steve to be her boyfriend, all flustered and timid but oh so hopeful. another kiss, a resounding “yes” from her sweet boy, and dropping him off with a quick goodnight kiss ends the night, and steve has never been happier.
the fact she planned this whole night, took a chance, romanced the hell out of him, and was so genuine the whole time, looking to make him smile, just because, had steve on a high unlike any other. no one has ever taken the time to spoil him, to do romantic things for him. he’s not used to reciprocity in relationships, but here this angel is professing her love for him and not only saying it but showing him she means it. best night of his life.
and so their relationship begins.
steve harrington just worships his girl, spoils her continuously, and wants to do everything for her. he is overly affectionate and just obsessed with his baby, pictures of her and with her everywhere on his house, his car, his wallet, maybe even a locket he wears with a copy of the picture of their first kiss on it. steve took the photobooth strip and got the second picture, his angel kissing him for the first time, copied and altered to fit into the locket.
everyone in town just knows steve is entirely whipped and he does not care. he is definitely touch starved for his girl, quite a bit jealous, however, but trusts her so much that it just comes out as a sort of possessiveness that isn’t toxic but something both he and, secretly, his angel enjoy. steve always praises her and wants to take care of her because she’s his sweet little angel girl.
steve is also her first everything— first kiss, first date, first boyfriend, first time… and it drives him insane! something about knowing he’s the only one that’s ever had her and the only one she’s ever wanted just drives him up the wall and gets him so needy. so desperate. so whiney and pouty.
something else about steve as a boyfriend is that he’s his angel’s biggest fan — always praising, always encouraging, always in awe of her. will brag about his baby to anyone. randomly brings her up in conversation because she’s all he thinks about and he’s so proud to be hers.
buying her flowers whenever he can so she’ll give him this wide, square smile of hers that takes over her whole face like she can’t control it and her nose scrunches up a bit and he never wants to look at anything but her.
her stevie is really into pda too, can’t take his hands off of her, but nothing extreme; casual touches and pecks on her nose or temple or lips or cheeks, buries his face in her neck often, hand holding constantly!!!!!!, plays with her hair, is always playing with the delicate ‘s’ pendant on her neck that he gifted her and she never takes off (steve has this proud little smile whenever he messes with it).
then there’s the casual dominance— steve tucks her hair behind her ears, ties her shoelaces for her, adjusts the clasp of her necklace, puts her dainty jewelry on for her, braids her hair because she’s always clumsy with it and she prefers his braids over hers, gives her water so she stays hydrated, remembers her meds for her, adjusts her beanie on her hair when it’s cold and she’s wearing one, wipes chocolate from the corner of her mouth because his baby is a messy eater, pulls on her waist when they’re walking so she doesn’t bump into someone or something because she’s too busy talking and looking at him, spoon feeds her when she’s too tired and sleepy and pouty, brushes her teeth for her too when she’s being his cute little tired baby or is in subspace, brushing her hair and treating her like a little doll, his little doll, and loves to shower with her so he can do it for her, loves to drive her everywhere too. she’s his pretty passenger princess and they both take that role very seriously.
and whenever his pretty baby gets all glassy eyed and needy and blushy for him? he melts.
steve has a daddy kink. major one. and when he finally finds his baby, his person, he starts noticing things she might be into for the sole reason of wanting to be the absolute best he can be for his baby. the thing is, he knows she’s entirely new to this and still a bit nervous and hesitant and shy, so he starts by filing things away in his brain to make sure once she’s ready and the time comes that he can treat her perfectly, and give her everything and anything she wants.
his baby is probably a sub, she must be, with how pliable and soft she gets. for sure has an oral fixation, always giving him little kisses and little bites randomly and pressing his hand to her lips so she can softly mouth at them (but will shy away and get flustered when she notices she’s doing this) (she just loves his hands and he knows). steve’s girl also gets all flustered and her breath hitches when he jokingly calls himself ‘daddy’, so he takes that as a good sign because there’s nothing steve wants more in this world than to be her daddy. only hers. to spoil and care for and love his baby to the best of his ability.
she also loves when he manhandles her, he’s noticed— it’s just that steve really enjoys carrying his baby around, loves feeling needed and loves holding her and having her body pressed to his and have her hold on to him, but also he just wants to do things for his baby, doesn’t want her to tire herself out, ever!
she doesn’t need to walk around all the time because her stevie’s here and he won’t have his baby do unnecessary work when he’s around. whenever he grabs her waist and places her on top of a counter or something and stands between her legs? she gets all smiley. steve also absolutely loves how clearly his touch affects her; she hums and melts into him and gets a bit breathless and just tries to bury herself into him until they become one. lots of cuddles and hugs from behind and just being entirely wrapped in each other while wearing the coziest sweaters under the cuddliest blanket are common occurrences.
the main thing, though… is how steve’s shy little girlfriend quickly becomes obsessed with his bulge. loves when her stevie hugs her from behind so it presses against her, or when he has her sit between his legs with her back to his chest, or any time where her stevie is holding her close. he doesn’t even need to be hard for her to enjoy it, i mean, he shows through his jeans even when he’s soft! and she just always thinks it looks so…soft? and chubby? and she just wants it smushed against her at all times.
it takes steve a while to figure it out, but when he does? he’s relentless! pressing up against his baby all. the. fucking. time. just to see her blush and stutter and get all shy… but she also fucking sighs and relaxes whenever he does it, like it’s such a comfort for her? to feel all of him? like it’s all she’s waiting for at all times. and it drives steve crazy how his cute, shy, introverted, virgin girlfriend who giggles all the time and is always flustered by him and hiding her hot cheeks with her hands and is so… clumsy and tentative and nervous when it comes to any sort of affection (which she only accepts from her stevie) ((she definitely hates touch except his)) (((and he knows it too! was one of the things that proved to him his pretty best friend had feelings for him too when they were ‘just friends’))) can be so desperate to feel his bulge against her.
angel also loves that her stevie boy has huge hands! absolutely massive. could-wrap-one-hand-around-your-entire-neck massive, beautiful, strong, soft hands.. and yeah, both steve and his girl definitely have huge size kinks. huge. they haven’t said so out loud yet, but it shows through their actions. steve loves how obvious the size difference is when they’re holding hands, or when his hand is on her soft thighs. most of the time his baby holds his fingers instead because it hurts a little bit to intertwine their fingers for too long and steve thinks it’s fucking adorable. she’s shorter too, so 😵‍💫 her sweet boy goes crazy. teasing, best friend steve comes out sometimes too when he uses her head as an armrest to tease her, or when he full on picks her up to take her somewhere if she’s being a brat or is too lazy, too tired to move.
steve’s angel loves their size difference. so much. it shows when she hides herself against his chest when it’s cold, when she compares hand sizes because “stevie, the difference is just insane!”, when steve smushes her into the mattress when they start fucking later on. steve notices his angel blush or sigh or break out in goosebumps whenever his hands are involved— i mean, can you blame her? his hands are so pretty. she’s always holding and touching and tracing her fingertips over his palms and pressing kisses, biting softly, sucking on his fingers when she’s restless, fidgety, or sleepy.
using steve as a weighted blanket is a must; helps angel when she’s anxious or having a bad day.
to be continued…
── harmo’s footnotes:
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masterlist. steve dreams.
ghostlyfleur © — all rights reserved. do not repost, copy, or translate.
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feyascorner · 3 months
Text
wish you would look at me
summary. convinced that you’re in love with another, when you approach him with a serious expression, he readies himself for the inevitable—rejection. but is it ever that simple?
pairing. astarion x GN!reader
warnings. light angst, fluff
a/n. this is inspired by the ppl who have love triangles w gale and astarion in act 2 and what he says if you pick him bec when I saw that I almost cried pls let him be happy
If you asked him a few weeks ago, he’d laugh at the mere suggestion that he could ever be jealous of someone like Gale. That blasted wizard couldn't go four steps before begging for a magical shoe or pathetically limping his way behind the rest of the group while you frantically searched for the said shoe. And when he found out the wizard was a few errors away from exploding, somehow Astarion felt even more pity (not really) for the lad.
Yet here he was.
He’s not sure when the hell you and Gale had gotten so chummy, but it rubbed him the wrong way. Even if his expression would never show it. He sips at his wine while Karlach and Wyll continue to chat about God knows what, too busy peering from the corner of his eyes as you lean into Gale’s shoulders to look closer at the book he was holding.
Perhaps the tadpole had finally made you lose your mind. He'd almost dropped his goblet when you denied his invitation to his tent tonight, spouting the excuse that you'd asked Gale to help you with something, and now this?
God knows why you ever found the wizard charming. If Gale could do something, he could too—much better, in fact. He was sure of it.
His grip tightens around the goblet when he hears you laugh.
Sure, his original intentions for approaching you had been less than noble…and he might have seduced you for more selfish reasons than you originally knew, but as much as he hated himself for it, he'd grown rather fond of you. In his own way, of course.
He’d only realized that the anxious squirming in his stomach was not of fear but of affection when you'd defended him from that vile drow at Moonrise Towers. He'd half expected you to ask him to throw himself at her, yet you stood your ground, showing nothing but respect to his own boundaries while you failed to realize that he'd deceived your own.
He truly had no reason to feel this way. He was selfish, he knew, for feeling so possessive because not once had the two of you established being exclusive. Though you'd respected him, you saw him for just that. A friend to respect, and nothing more. Sure, you'd spent a few nights together, but it was a mindless night of passion and he knew he'd continue to be your fling until you found another to truly love. He had just hoped it wouldn't be someone like Gale, of all people…or Wyll…or Shadowheart…or anyone for that matter.
He shakes his head. The wine must be getting to him. Serious relationships aren't a luxury he can afford, he reminds himself, relaxing his shoulders. He’s perfectly okay with being your ally—nothing more or nothing less. Ecstatic, even.
But when Gale flips a page of the book and both of you lean closer again—this time dangerously close—he feels a sharp pain shoot up his hand.
“Uh, Fangs, you alright there?” Karlach stares at the cracked glass in his hand and even he blinks at it in disbelief.
Apparently not.
He sighs irritably, dumping the glass elsewhere. “I’m quite alright. Seems I just need a nice comfortable mattress than a thin bedroll on the ground, but it’ll do for now.”
“Need help patching that up? You're bleeding.”
He almost laughs, if it weren't for the giggle coming from your direction. “Blood’s my specialty, darling, remember?” Without another word, he paces into his tent, closing the flap behind him for the universe signal that screams ‘don’t bother me.’
So when half an hour later, when he no longer hears the crackle of the campfire, he sees your shadow emerge from the other side of his tent flap, he squints.
“Can I come in?” He fails to respond, and hears you shuffle. “Ah, are you asleep?”
At this, he can't help but snort. You instinctively peek inside, and he runs a hand through his hair, sighing in defeat. “If I'd been asleep just how would I answer that question?”
He motions you closer and you take it as a sign to step inside, careful to avoid stepping on any of his belongings before situating yourself in front of him. “It was rhetorical, obviously!”
“Of course,” he doesn't seem convinced, lips curling into a teasing grin. “Now tell me, what brings you to my palace this late at night? Surely not for a cuddle. I'd thought you declined my offer earlier?”
Usually, you'd smile, but instead you only look down at your clasped hands, seemingly in thought. “I needed to talk to you—without everyone else watching.”
The usual brightness to your tone is missing.
Oh, he thinks. You've come to end things with him.
“Ah,” is all he says. He can tell his smile hasn't dropped, but it doesn't feel that way. “I hear you've found a new lover. Perhaps you want to keep yourself for this one, true love? How romantic, darling.”
You frown at this, and he wonders if he’s done something wrong. But it does little to stop his defense mechanisms from springing into action, because he’s immediately slipping into his usual mask, grin stretching wider but never reaching his eyes.
He hates the words coming out of his own mouth as if they taste of poison. Still, his voice is steady, almost teasing. Perks of the 200 years spent shamelessly lying, he supposes. “So, is this the end of our late night trysts? Even though they were an awful lot of fun?”
He doesn’t think he could stand watching you with that damned wizard. He doesn't even want to think about it quite frankly, because all he feels is his chest tighten when he imagines someone else holding you the way he does. And gods, if had to watch Gale’s poor attempt at flirting one more time…
But then again, you'd be with someone who doesn't manipulate you. Someone who doesn't toy with your feelings, or someone who doesn't seduce you for protection.
His smile twitches, and he just braces himself for your response.
“I’d rather be with you.”
He stares at you, eyes wider than its ever been since he'd gotten this damn worm in his brain.
“What? Why?” he blurts, embarrassingly so, before he composes himself again and clears his throat. “I mean, well, I know why—but I thought you'd had something more…with Gale.”
As much as he despises the idea, he'd seen the way you'd laughed with him. And while it was a new experience for him to be fond of another person, he'd found that these feelings had led him to rather you be happy than dragging you down with him. If it meant you wouldn't regret your choice, he’d been willing to deal with it.
So why?
“I want something real with you, Astarion,” you say softly, eyes meeting his. “I don't know if you feel the same way, but Gale and I are better off as friends, and I told him before I came here. And besides, it’d be cruel of me to lead him on while my heart is with another.”
He thinks he might have died again just now. For the first time in decades, he’s actually at a loss for words. “I—if that's what you truly want—we can try. Be lovers, I mean.”
You finally smile at his words, and Gods above if that doesn't lift the excruciating weight of the past few weeks off his shoulders. He feels the warmth of your lips when you lean forward to give him a peck on the cheek, everything happening so fast that his mind is spinning. He snaps back into focus when you pull back.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”
You could have—should have, done it earlier. With a smile of his own, he leads you back to him, this time planting a soft kiss on your lips. It’s short, and not nearly enough, but it’ll do for tonight.
“Well then, consider yourself wholeheartedly taken then, my dear.”
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Note
Coriolanus snow x fem!reader
She is sejanus’s twin sister and is just as anti hunger games as he is and Coriolanus always has a crush on her but since she is his best friends sister…😏
The Plinth Prize | Coriolanus Snow
Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x fem!Plinth!reader, Sejanus Plinth x twin sister!reader
Summary: You were everything he detested, perhaps that's what made him fall.
Warning/s: fluff, Coriolanus having some possessive thoughts, him actually liking Sejanus in this, possible grammar and spelling mistakes
Author's note: This one is really short, but I do believe that it's sweet enough. This for sure is not my best work, but I tried.
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The Plinth family.
Truly everything had changed once Strabo, Sejanus, his twin sister (Y/N) and Mrs. Plinth who called "Ma" known as the Plinth family arrived in the Capitol. Well, more like bought your way to the Capitol.
Coriolanus Snow knew that anybody in their right mind would know that they bought their way in the Capitol because he knew that you really have to have a lot, and I mean A LOT, of money to come and live from the District 2 in the Capitol and give your two children an opportunity to attend to the Capitol's Academy of all places.
So Coriolanus must admit to himself, at first he was sceptic as hell. They were from District after all. They had no place here.
But he should've known better than to judge a book by its cover.
The Plinth twins were really something else.
The moment he met Sejanus he thought that he was annoying as hell. However, he soon realized that Sejanus kind of grew on him.
He was a kid with a kind heart, there was no denying that. He was stubborn, too. But most of all, he was so against the government's decision to hold the Hunger Games and that would annoy the hell out of Coriolanus because Sejanus had a bad tendency to speak of it out loud, with no filter, and that would often get him in a bit trouble.
The trouble that Coriolanus would often have to help him get out of. Coriolanus didn't really mind it, Sejanus was like his brother after all, but he just wished that he would stop being so reckless.
Coriolanus truly felt like he could have a heart attack, cold sweat consumed him, every single time Sejanus spoke. It honestly left him feeling anxious.
He just wished for that to stop, and once he met you it was anything but.
The moment you two shook hands after Sejanus introduced Coriolanus to his twin sister, you, he felt like the last breath was knocked out of his lungs. His chest tightened as he looked at you.
You were radiant. He thought that your beauty was unmatched. The way you carried yourself, your hair, your piercing eyes that were the exact copy of your brother, your smile, your everything, it was just perfect for him.
You were perfect for him.
From that day on he couldn't stop thinking about you and one day in class was an opportunity for him to see even more of you.
As Dr. Gaul talked about the genius of the Hunger Games, Sejanus and you snapped.
In a way he was surprised (but than again, not really) as he watched your interaction and realized that you were as much anti-games as Sejanus was.
Great.
Just great.
Now he had to look out after one more wild Plinth child. Not that he minded. He knew it shouldn't be that way, but this personality trait made you even more attractive than he thought it was possible.
As he watched you talk, his piercing blue eyes locked onto your figure watching you talk passionately, he realized that even though you're from District, that you were anti-games, and even though you were a Plinth of all people, he fell in love with you.
There was no denying that.
Perhaps, if he somehow couldn't win the Plinth Prize you would be good enough to keep, maybe even better. His, better, version of the Plinth Prize.
God, the Plinth twins are really going to ruin him.
->
->
->
TAGLIST:
@hellonheels-x @especiallythewomenandthechildren @prettyinsatiable @caroline-books @runningfrom2am @10ava01 @thecrowdedstreetin1944
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myfictionaldreams · 5 months
Text
Day 14: Uniform - Natasha Romanoff
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Summary: You worked for SHIELD and had a huge crush on Natasha, so what do you do when she corners you one day, begging for your help as her zipper is broken and she's struggling to remove her uniform.
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, anxious!reader, mutual pining, kissing, flirting, fingering, oral
A.N: Sorry this is a day late!
masterlist 📚 
kinktober masterlist😈 
AO3 Link 
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“I need your help”, came the sultry feminine voice from your bedroom door, completely snapping you out of the fantasy world you were currently daydreaming about from the book in your hand.
You knew who was there before turning in her direction in shock and surprise. “Help? Me? You need me?” your cheeks warmed at your noticeable stutter with questioning as you looked at the beautiful red-haired woman standing at your door. Natasha Romanoff was smirking at you with her hand on her hip and wearing the tight-fitting black widow suit, recently returning from a mission. She looked dangerous and deadly, but from what you could see, none of her weapons were attached to her anymore, even though she was a weapon. 
Natasha tilted her head to the side, her eyes flicking across the room, taking in every detail of your bedroom, and you wished you had cleaned up before she arrived. Standing nervously from your bed, your book is thrown onto the bedside drawer without marking the page with the urgency to give the woman your attention.
She doesn’t say anything; she just continues to look at you with her piercing eyes before nodding her head in the opposite direction, a sign that she wants you to follow her down the hall. You were a SHIELD agent and are currently staying at the Avengers headquarters as you continue to train for missions. You’d made some good friends here and enjoyed finally being able to use your skills for something that mattered.
This was all until you realised that the Avengers themselves actually lived there, not just the agents. You assumed they had their own homes for privacy, but this was not the case, so day after day, you had to see people like Natasha who could casually walk into your bedroom. Your crush on the Avengers was rampant, having admired her since before even joining the institute. Who wouldn’t find her attractive? She was among the most fierce and beautiful women you’d ever seen.
Natasa, ever the spy, was well aware of the effect she had on others and, most of the time, enjoyed shooting down anyone who attempted to flirt with her, walking away without a glance back at them. But not you. Never you. It is evident to everyone who worked at the  Avengers headquarters that you had a deep-seated crush on Natasha, from the fleeting glances out of the corner of your eyes or how you would stammer and stutter over your words when she was close by. You were fascinated with her, but rather than being a strong, independent woman, you resorted to being a nervous wreck, hardly even looking her in the eye because you were so anxious to talk to the beautiful woman.
This only became a fun game for Natasha, who found your crush incredibly endearing, cute even and found any excuse possible to try to talk to you, even adding your name to missions so that she knew you were close by. The more time she spent with you, the more she developed her crush; she was just better at hiding it. It was a fun little game at your expense, and today, Natasha was hoping it would be the end to it all, bored with the teasing.
Natasha walked confidently down the hall, through a set of double doors and into the Avengers section of the building. You nearly tripped over your feet, trying to look around at the area you’d not been to before she halted in front of a door, entered a key code and walked in. The weapons and expensive dress decorating the indicted where she’d taken you. You paused on the threshold to her bedroom, unsure if she meant for you to follow her in here, but she urgently waved you further so she could close the door.
Hiding your trembling fingers behind your back, you turned towards Natasha, your eyes wandering above her head as you couldn’t stomach looking into her beautiful face. “So, um, what do you need help with, Miss Romanoff?”
Natasha tried not to grin at the formal way you addressed her. “It’s pretty embarrassing, actually”, she began, her posture changing completely as her shoulders hunched slightly inwards whilst curling some of her red hair behind her ears to appear as if she was embarrassed. “My zip snapped during the mission, and now, I can’t remove my uniform, and the material has been specially made, so I can’t just cut it off”.
Your mouth suddenly filled with saliva as you automatically glanced at where her zipper stopped, just above her cleavage. Once you realised you were staring, you quickly looked back down to the ground, finding the carpet incredibly interesting all of a sudden.
“Why are you asking me for help and not the seamstress?” you asked when you finally found the courage to find your voice.
“The seamstress doesn’t work on Saturdays, and you’re one of the only people I trust here, so I need to hold the two pieces of material together at the top, and you somehow shimmy the zip down”.
There was only white noise blasting through your head at her request, and without giving yourself time to overthink, you closed the distance between each other. The tips of your shoes brushed against hers as you lifted your fingers to grab the zip buckle. Natasha could see the tremor in your fingertips as she grabbed the two sections of material and tried to squeeze them together.
It was difficult at first to grab the metal, especially as your hands began to sweat, but ever so slowly, the zip descended lower, inch by inch. More of her skin began to be revealed. Her cleavage, her sternum, then lower over her navel until the very edge of her public area, which, to your amazement, was neatly trimmer and a brunette shade.
As you comprehended what you were actually looking at, you stepped away, hands rubbing at your sides like you’d made the gravest mistake possible, scared that Natasha would be upset for revealing so much of her body. However, the assassin was unphased and began to pull her arms from her uniform, pushing the black material off her shoulders, down her waist and hips and then kicking off her shoes and attire, leaving it in a pile on the floor.
“You… You don’t wear any underwear beneath your uniform”, you whispered beneath your breath in awe before quickly looking at that entertaining patch of carpet on the floor, realising you’d been staring at her naked body. Your entire body heated with embarrassment and arousal as you crossed one leg over the other to try and squeeze your thighs together to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling. 
Natasha shrugged at your observation, “I find that the uniform is so tight that I can’t wear any underwear without the seams being seen, so it’s easier to go without”. Nodding your head at her explanation, you continued looking anywhere but at her. Natasha took a dainty step towards you, her smile growing more prominent, “Are you afraid of nakedness?”
You make a point of forcing yourself to look at her whilst folding your arms over your chest. “No, of course not. I just thought it would be polite to give you some privacy”.
Natasha bites the inside of her lips to stop from just outright grinning and laughing in your face. “I don’t mind. You can look”, she quips whilst raising one of her eyebrows suggestively.
You weren’t sure if this was a test, but as your eyes lowered, you thanked whatever gods were listening to this one moment that you would remember for the rest of your life. She was well toned, given her lifestyle and training methods, and scars littered over her body, which was evidence of her work as stabbings or gunshots clearly created them. You were mesmerised by her beauty, from her perfectly trimmed mound, her toned abs, and up to her round, full breasts.
Until that is, something piqued your interest, “Do you have your nipples pierced?”
Natasha tipped her head back and laughed, looking down at her perked nipples with a shrug of her shoulders, making them jiggle with the movement. “Yeah, they’ve made me quite sensitive, but I thought it would be fun. Plus, they’re super cute”.
“You are”, you say, admiring her breasts, but then your eyes go wide in shock, realising what you’d just said and the soft tone you’d said it in. “I mean, they are- the piercings are -I didn’t mean to sound inappropriate, sorry. I didn’t mean- I just- I wasn't, um-”
Natasha took a step forward, closing the gap entirely so that you could now feel the warmth of her skin; she was that close. Her beautiful, naked body within your bubble, you never wanted it to leave.
“It’s ok, I know what you meant. You’re cute when you’re all embarrassed”.
“I…I am?” you say, looking at her like she had grown another head because there was no way Natasha Romanoff just called you cute in any sense of the word, especially when you’re whining away anxiously.
“You are. Might be why I asked you to come and help me rather than the others. Nothing like a cute girl helping to undress me”. You flush at the obvious flirtatious advances, trying your hardest to continue looking into her forest-green eyes that seem to delve deep into your soul. “You’re even more cuter when you’re like this. Reacting more to my words than my naked body. God, I could just eat you right up.” Natasha lifts her slender fingers and runs the back of them over your eyes and around your ear. “I’ve been watching you, y’know?. It's so hard to talk to a cute girl like you when you’re running away from me every time I enter the room”.
“I’m just nervous”, you say and instantly chastise yourself for stating the obvious.
It doesn’t, phas Natasha thought as her other hand gently grasped yours, interlocking your fingers as she stated, “I know. You don’t have to be nervous, Sugar. I only want good things, I promise”.
She lifts the hand that is holding hers, kissing the palm ever so softly and then moves it so you’re holding her face. “You don’t have to be nervous to do anything with me”, Natasha continues, “I want you to feel safe with me. I want to get to know you on a personal and physical way, if you understand what I’m alluding to”.
Your mouth didn’t want to work, with the worry of just blurting out that you were in love with her, so you nodded your head to show your understanding. Being brave, you allowed your fingers to explore her sharp cheekbones, admiring the delicateness of her skin and shocked when she even began to nuzzle into your palm.
“Can I touch you?” she asks sincerely, her eyes wide with hope and yet restrained, not wanting to frighten you off. As your fingers brush through her silky hair, you nod your head, wanting her very much to touch you in any way possible.
Natasha lifts both hands to press against your hairline, exploring your face like she was trying to map every inch of you. Lower she descended, over your cheeks, your nose and finally your lips, pulling on the bottom one with her thumb, which had your eyes automatically dropping to look at hers.
You want to kiss so severely that it almost makes you ache and beg. It seemed Natasha also knew this and had another idea in mind as she implored in the most innocent voice, “Touch me lower”.
You do as instructed, over her jaw and down her long neck, then press her collarbones again, wondering if this is the area where you should stop. However, Natasha raises her eyebrow again in question, so you take that as your queue to explore lower. Your eyes never leave hers as your fingers run down the centre of her sternum, directly between her breasts, until they stop at the base of her sternum.
Deciding to be brave for once in your life, your fingers skimmed the underside of her heavy breasts, and you watched in delight as her breath hitched, chest leaning into the touch. You take this as a good sign and reach for her hard nipples that have a simple metal bar through the centre.
Natasha groans, even though all you’ve done is graze over the bundle of nerves. “So sensitive”, she explains and reminds you of her predicament.
Pulling your hand away, thinking you’d done something she didn’t want, you apologise quickly, “Sorry!”
However, with her lightning-fast reaction, Natashas quickly grabs your retreating hands and pulls them back to cup her again. “I like it. I like everything you do to me and want to do”.
Before you can overthink anymore, Natasha is pressing her face towards yours, eyes closing and lips connecting with yours. Your whole body reacts instantly, leaning closer and mewling into her mouth, pushing harder. Her lips were so plump they felt like soft, warm clouds against your face, and you’re obsessed, crazy for more, never wanting this moment to stop.
But of course, it does as Nat pulls back for a second, and you’re trying to chase after her with your lips, which causes the woman to giggle. “Can I take this off?” she asks, pulling on the bottom of your shirt. You nod, heart beating so hard on your chest you were sure she would be able to hear. Lifting your arms above your head, Natasha removes the article of clothing and begins to admire your black bra. “I love this”. She eyes it for a second before realising that it unclasps from the front. Natasha internally praised you for being so beautiful as she reached to undo the clasp, exposing your breasts to her.
She moans in wonderment at your beauty, cursing herself for waiting this long before making a move. Natasha couldn’t wait any long as her head dipped to lick across your nipple, causing your back to arch to press her face closer, and your fingers gripped into her hair to hold her there.
Something seemed to snap in you, whether the confidence blooming in your core or the anxiety melting away. Either way, you were in this situation, and there was no way you were letting it go to waste. As the red-haired woman sealed her lips around your other nipple, licking and sucking the bud into her mouth, you swiftly pulled her off by your hands behind in her hair, but only to kiss her deeply and passionately.
Whether it was your enthusiasm to kiss her or Natasha’s excitement that you were beginning to feel more confident, something knocked the two of you back so that you were now led on her perfectly made bed. Natasha doesn’t waste a second and is climbing on top of you, straddling your waste with her naked body now hovering over yours. You touch her everywhere now, her thighs, over her arse to pull her hips closer, up her back to then cup her head.
It was everything you wanted and more; couldn’t get enough of her taste, smell, and warmth. Everything about her, you wanted it every day, all the time. She was sweet and delicate with you, but eventually, Natasha too was becoming fevering with her touches and needing more of you.
“I wanna taste you”, she admits against your lips, just as her tongue dares to peek before yours.
“Are you sure?” you asked uncertainly.
Natasha laughed against your mouth, moving to kiss down your throat over the areas that had your toes curling as she confirmed, “Yes, I’m sure I want to eat you out.”
Your only answer was a grin that caused your cheeks to ache with how giddy you felt. Natasha kissed your lips once more before shuffling down your body, leaving a trail of open mouth kisses, tasting every area of your skin she could reach, and spending special particular attention on your breasts. Teasing and sucking on them until you begged her to move lower with how intense your arousal was becoming. 
Natasha noted this, deciding that the next time the two of you were intimate, she wanted to see if she could make you cum just by nipple stimulation. Lower she moved, every touch was gentle and calm, even as she unbuttoned your jeans and began to lower them as well as your underwear down your legs, with the help of you lifting your hips, her fingers still were careful about where she touched.
She then began her journey up, kissing and licking all the places that were most sensitive, like your inner knee and thighs, until she was face to face with the area causing you the most ache.
Her eyes met yours, and a devilish smirk on her lips made you wonder what you had gotten yourself in for as her mouth met your more intimate areas. You broke eye contact first, but only because your body jolted, and you had to force your back to arch, spreading your legs further on the bed as your head tipped back.
Natasha's lips were just as plump and soft against your pussy as they were against your mouth. She kissed you there first, savouring the warmth and liquid that had already leaked from your cunt. The noises you were already whimpering were like music to her ears, so desperate and needy.
Carefully, her tongue licked long strips up your folds before adding pressure and parting them, moving deeper until she was poking at your hole that was already contracting with your arousal around nothing. She contemplated for a moment letting her tongue fuck you, but instead, she paid particular attention to your throbbing clit. Tentative, agonisingly slow circles did the tip of her tongue move around the bud before she pressed the flat front of her tongue and gave it a long lick.
“Natasha!” you cried out, hand moving to grip her hair to hold her there. Nat thought it was adorable seeing you falling apart like this so quickly. She hummed against your pussy which caused vibrations to purr into the nerves, which caused your thighs to tremble and clench with the stimulation.
Nat tickled the backs of your thighs to get them to relax again before travelling the length of the limb until the area where your tongue was still pleasuring. Her middle finger circled your eagerly awaiting hole, and as she sucked on the bundle of nerves, she inserted the finger carefully. In and out and moved before adding a second finger, beginning to stretch your cunt. Your hips began rolling of their own accord, desperate to match the pace of Natasha’s tongue and fingers, which had just started to curl to press against the sensitive spot inside you.
“That feels so good, right there!” Natasha didn’t plan on stopping making you feel this good, but she did contemplate just how pretty you’d look after being edged a few times. She just added that to the lengthening list of things she wanted to try with you in the future.
You had to bite your lower lip as your cries of joy were beginning to echo around the bedroom, still holding onto the red hair and essentially fucking yourself on her fingers and tongue. Opening your eyes, you looked down at the green eyes that were watching your every move.
“Please kiss me”, you asked desperately with a slight quiver in your voice as you were getting closer to orgasming.
Natasha grins, licking her lips and crawling back up your body whilst still curling her fingers, her thumb pressing and rolling your clit instead of her tongue. Her mouth was hungry against yours, forcing your lips wider so she could stroke your mouth's crevices, making sure you could taste yourself from her.
You reach out for her, wanting to feel her body just as badly as she wants to hear you cum, but she has other ideas. The hand you reached for her with was held firmly against the bed as Natasha shook her head. “This is just about you today; there will be so much more time for me in the future. Just enjoy this, Sugar”.
You could have melted at the pet name she’d picked and rushed forward to kiss her feverishly one more, hips rolling and working in time with the curl of her fingers and thumb. She was making you feel so good, expertly touching your body, gripping the back of your head to hold your close.
Resting her temple on yours, she looked at you with glazed eyes and demanded, “Cum for me; I want to see you cum on my fingers, pretty girl”. Her words had your core tightening in arousal, your mouth gaping open to gasp and share the same air as her she was that close to you. “That’s it, you’re doing so well for me. I know you’re close. I can feel it on my fingers; you’re so wet for me, so tight, Sugar. Cum for me”.
Your body convulsed as your orgasm rocketed through your very centre, thighs trembling, arms struggling to hold you up as your pussy squeezed in flutters around her fingers. She didn’t stop her rocking motion; those sweet curls of her two fingers, not under you, had sagged back onto the bed to catch your breath.
Carefully, she eased her fingers out of you, putting on a broad display of her licking your fingers and dramatically moaning at the taste before lying down next to you, resting her head on her elbow.
“Do you wanna go and get some food?  There’s a cute Italian place about half an hour from here”, Natasha asks casually whilst stroking your cheek with the hand that had just been between your legs.
“What? Like a date?” you asked with the tremor returning to your voice as you stared at her with widening eyes.
Natasha takes one look at you and laughs, tipping her head back with how funny she found it. “I’ve just licked you out and had you cumming on my fingers, and you’re getting nervous about a date? You’re too fucking cute, Sugar. Yes, it’s a date. What do you say?”
Your cheeks heat at her amusement, but you’re soon joining her with smiling, nodding your head and saying, “Yes, I’d love to go on this date with you”.
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Follow You Anywhere 1
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No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, controlling behavoiour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You're online existence threatens to leak into your real life.
Characters: Captain Syverson
Note: I couldn't help myself.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
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"So... this is what it looks like today?" You aim your camera at the sky outside your window, "sorry, the screen is kinda in the way."
You let out a nervous chuckle and flip the camera to yourself. You make a silly face. You were never overly fond of your image on the screen but the vlogs help. Like a little diary, mostly for yourself. You and your seven followers on Insta.
You bat your lashes and fix the clip in your hair, "oh, I got this free. Yeah, I bought a new hair oil and they threw this in the bag." You let your thoughts run wild from your tongue. You found a journal too daunting, the blank lines leaving you just as empty. This is easier. "Anyway, I shouldn't have spent the money to begin with."
You give another splintered laugh. The one you let out when you're anxious, or scared, or happy, or even mad.  You bite your lip and catch yourself in your digitized reflection. You stop and turn your camera to your bedroom.
"Today, I'm gonna clean this mess. Me and you guys together."
You scour the room with the lens. Your laundry is piled on the floor and you have a stack of books you need to put on the shelf. It isn't the worst it's been but it's getting cluttered.
"But first, we'll have breakfast, can't start the stream on an empty stomach," you chirp and nearly drop the phone, "oops, uh..." You fix your grip and check the number in the corner. You have one viewer; on a good day, it's three, most days, it's just you talking to the void.
You go into the kitchen, just down the short hall from your bedroom, opening into your living room. You go to the counter and prop up the phone so the camera is on you again. You tap your fingers and hum.
"What should we have for breakfast?" You ask. You don't feel as crazy talking to yourself even if there's really no one watching. "Oo, French toast. Gotta use up the eggs."
You go to the fridge and pull out the eggs and the milk. You bring them back to the counter, shuffling around for a bowl, a whisk, and the cinnamon.
You mix up your ingredients and dip the bread, one piece at a time. You put on a skillet and fry up the slices, presenting a stack of three to the camera. You smile and dust some icing sugar over the top.
“Probably shouldn't have all this sugar for breakfast,” you shrug at the camera, “alright, quick break…” 
You put the stream onto the ‘back soon’ page and take your plate to the small foldout table against the wall. You're not a fan of eating on camera. You finish and rinse up before snatching your phone up again.
You return to your bedroom and put the phone on a middle shelf and flip the stream back to live. Still that one viewer…
“Anyway, I'm back,” you wave at the lens.
You hesitate, looking around as you stand straight and spin. Cleaning, right. Before you can set to work, the phone dings.
A message?
You go back to your phone and squint at the chat bubble floating up.
‘Looked delicious too.’
“It was,” you agree with a grin, “thanks.”
‘Don't mean the toast.’
The next message has you blinking. Your nape burns. They can't mean… you clear your throat and giggle.
“Well, let's get started,” you back up and clap your hands, “you know, I've been so carried away with work. This place is a pigsty.”
You sit on the floor and sort through the clothes. You toss them into the basket as you sit in silence. You stop yourself and glance at the phone.
“How about some tunes?” 
You walk on your knees to your bedside and turn on your bluetooth speaker. You go to your phone and find a playlist before pulling the stream back to full screen. As you do, you hear a noise you've never heard before.
‘BourbonBear has tipped.’ Huh? Really?
“Oh, thanks, er, BourbonBear,” you giggle around the name, “how nice. Maybe one day I can afford a proper camera for this, huh?”
You smile and go back to the dirty clothes. You quickly ball up a pair of panties and shove them in the basket. You carry on until they're all untangled.
You move on and tidy your desk, bending underneath to gather up a few loose pens. You make your way around the bedroom, putting away books, fixing the blankets on the bed, and straightening the little figurines on the shelf above the bed.
You grab the stick vacuum and suck up the dirt and proclaim your task done. It took a lot longer than you thought. It's after eleven. The one viewer is still there.
“Whew, okay, I'm gonna get myself washed up and go to the park. Maybe I'll post that later,” you give a thumbs up next to your head as you talk to the phone, “thank you.”
You end the stream and let out a sigh. Your videos aren't much and you doubt they're very interesting but it's like venting for you. Almost like having an invisible friend. You think you will take some pictures of the flowers to share.
🧸
You take your usual path through the park. The walks help you unwind your worries. You try to come after work at least a couple days during the week and both days on the weekend. You find the mindlessness of the routine to be calming.
The deeper you get into the wooded length of the path, you slow to admire the birds in the branches and the critters crawling in the brush. You take out your phone and snap a few photos of a blue jay before it wings away shyly. You smile and flip the cam, smiling as you take a goofy selfie. You can add that to your post.
The path winds ahead and you follow it in the din, listening to the river just down the incline to your left and the tweeting from the sky. You lift your face and inhale the woodsy scent. The sudden crack of a twig startles you and you spin to face the noise. There's no one there. Sometimes you forget other people are free to just walk on through.
You chuckle at yourself and continue on. The path leads out to a suburban street where you like to look at the houses. They're much more spacious and pretty than your grimy brick apartment building.
You come out from the shade of the trees and wander along the avenue. There's a mailbox painted to look like the house it stands before and a little nook for second hand children's books to be borrowed through the neighbourhood. Sometimes you picture yourself living in one of those houses though you don't think it could ever truly be.
As you crane your head, you sense a shadow in your peripheral. You're walking a bit slow. You sidle to the side to get out of the way of the other pedestrian. When no one passes, you look back. No one.
You must be imagining things. You shrug and plod along. You're already thinking of what kind of tea you'll have when you get in.
🧸
You sit down with your mug of ginger citrus tea and set to editing your post. You add a light filter to the photos as you shuffle through them on your laptop. The process is slow as the computer is nearly five years old now and chuffing on its 4GB drive. You get to the selfie you snapped, a stop.
You lean in to get a better glimpse of the background. It's fuzzy but there's a figure just over your shoulder. How could that be? You looked and there was no one there. That's so strange.
You stare as a chill courses through you. You're thankful you hadn't put your earphones in. You wouldn't have heard whoever it was and they may have even snuck up on you. Or maybe it's just a trick of the light.
You hit ‘post’ and try to shake off the foreboding. It's nothing. You're being silly. Besides, you're home and safe now. Next time, you'll be more alert.
A message pops up. You stare at the dot over the chat bubble. You tap with your thumb and bring up the DMs.
'Stream tonight?' BourbonBear asks.
You tilt your head. You already did some today. You're tired and want to lie down and enjoy your time off. You type back 'sorry, not tonight. tomorrow <3' and another notification vibrates. A comment on your latest post.
'Pretty sweater', also from BourbonBear. You heart their comment and leave a thanks below.
You flip back to the selfie. You can't really see your sweater in the picture, just the scalloped knitting of the collar. Well, you suppose it does look cute. You put your phone down and leave it on your desk. That's enough Insta for today.
🧸
You time your shopping trip for the least busy hour. It's early and the store is almost empty except for employees stacking bread on shelves or wandering listlessly around the deli. You have your phone in the basket of the cart, aimed at you as you roll it along slowly and check your list.
The stream is just as empty. It's only just started but you don't expect too many people to be up at this hour. You stop and grab a loaf of sourdough, checking the date before showing it to the lens and putting it in the cart. You smile and announce the next item.
"Strawberries... you know I was thinking I might get raspberries instead," you say, catching the eye of one of the yawning employees. You must seem like a weirdo. It's why you typically don't film in public.
As you roll around to the fruit, you notice the count change. One viewer. You choose a basket of raspberries and show those. You see a message float up; morning.
You smile and return the greeting softly and place the berries down carefully beside your phone. You need yogurt to go with the berries.
You work down the list, making some substitutes as you tick off each item. You linger in the ice cream section a bit too long and talk yourself out of a gallon of rocky road. You lean on the handle of the cart and smile down at the lens.
"Going to check out," you say, "see you all later."
All? There's still just the one. You end the stream and take your phone out of the basket.
You wheel around to checkout and line up at the only open till. You put your items up as you greet the cashier with a smile. She seems tired as she gives a dull response.
As you put the yogurt on the belt, you sense someone join the queue behind you. You glance over as a large man stands only feet away. He's tall and burly and staring at you. Maybe he heard you talking to your audience, or he would think, yourself. You continue to unload your groceries.
"Never tried those," he comments as you take out a box of strawberry Pocky.
You pause and hold them up, chuckling nervously, as you do.
"Pretty good," you answer, "I eat way too many."
You notice the man doesn't have a basket or a cart. That realisation needles under your skin. Maybe he's just getting lotto or smokes?
"You like sweet stuff."
"Too much," you squeak even though it doesn't sound like a question.
He just stares, not saying a word. You swallow tightly and pull the last few items out of the cart and get behind it to wheel it through the lane. As you do, he looms closely, adding to the sweat gathering on your lower back.
You roll along and wait for the cashier to ring through the rest of your things. She bags them up neatly in two large paper bags. You pay with your card and thank her as you lift the first into your cart. The man behind you moves forward and grabs the second, startling you.
"Got it," he says as he places it with the other, squeezing by you, crowding you.
"Oh, excuse me, sir," you stammer, "oh," you lean on the cart to roll it to the end of the lane as you make space between you and the stranger. "Thanks, er, uh... thanks."
You turn and grab the handle, jittering. He's really weirding you out. Especially as you realise he's walked right by the cashier. He's following you.
"I can help get ‘em in your car," he offers in a drawl.
"Oh, that's alright, I... bus," you cringe as you realise you've said too much.
"I could drive you. I have a truck."
"No thank you," you walk faster, the cart rattling with your pace.
"Why not?"
"I don't know you, erm, sorry--"
"You don't?" He catches up and shoves his phone in your face, your Insta profile glaring back at you, "I paid for the milk, maybe the berries..."
"What?" You stop, just by the door and turn to him. "I don't--"
"You haven't eaten, have you? I'll take you for French toast. That's your favourite."
"Um," you blink at him as your eyes tinge, "I don't..."
"You got me through a hard campaign, just wanna say thank you," he adjusts his cap and you notice the pin on it. He's a veteran. Oh, 'campaign'. 
“Just got back home," he shifts on his feet, a meek gesture for such a large man, "and... your videos helped me remember it. Helped me hold onto it in the sh-- in the stuff."
"I... wow, okay, that's... I'm glad I could do that."
"I really don't mind giving you a ride. Lots of weirdos on the bus," he insists.
"That's nice but--"
"Please," he softens his tone, "been a while since I sat down and had breakfast without worrying about the sky falling."
You shudder and grip the cart tight. You don't know how to say no. You didn't think about who was watching. You always just assumed they were bots. Then you think of the chaching noise and the amount flashing on the screen.
"BourbonBear?" You ask.
"Yeah," he cracks a crooked smile and smooths his hand over his thick beard. "Everyone calls me Syv.”
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ferrstappen · 11 months
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aren't we supposed to surprise you? l Charles Leclerc blurb
pairing: dad!Charles Leclerc x female reader.
you can find more of my version of dad Charles' here <3
summary: you somehow manage to overshadow Charles and Jo's gift.
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Charles was an anxious man. Even more so since Josephine was born two years ago.
Yes, people laughed at him but he didn't care, he was going to sprint towards his daughter every time she took a wrong step and fell down, or his system would shut down whenever her lower lip trembled. Charles could communicate with his daughter through her eyes, they told him everything he needed to know in the meantime before she learned how to properly express herself.
They were an unstoppable duo, everybody knew that, but Charles was aware the reason both him and Jo could feel at ease and safe was you, and maybe he didn't remind you enough of that.
His mother and younger brother accompanied him to the various shops around Monaco, Pascale having to fight Charles to let her carry the stroll on the street, Arthur shaking his head at Charles' antics, playfully pitying his niece.
"I am going to make sure to take her to the worst tattoo parlors and pubs when she's older and then I'm showing you the images so you can die of a heart attack," Arthur teased his brother, earning a glare from Charles while being chastised by his mother, but the youngest Leclerc saw a smile on his mom's face.
Arthur winked at his niece and she giggled. Lorenzo had no chance of ever being the favorite uncle.
They entered different shops, not wanting to go for the typical jewelry and overly expensive designer clothing and accessories. No, Charles wanted to give you something you'd truly appreciate, something for you to relax and show yourself some love and distraction. Now it was turn for Arthur to carry Josephine while teasing his brother for being a simp.
A couple of books he thought you'd enjoy, different colored bath bombs, luxurious soaps and candles were some of the goods you were going to receive for Mother's Day.
Dad and baby Leclerc arrived got home greeted by the smell of coffee and some kind of pastry. It smelled like Charles' dream life; his life.
You smiled at Charles and gave him a quick peck on the lips before taking Josephine from his arms, your daughter babbling about papa and maman.
It was past midnight, Josephine sound asleep on her room after both you and Charles read her a short book in Italian, trying to accustom her to the language, all while you marveled at how Charles did the different voices and intonations.
Now it was just you and him in bed, his naked chest against your own skin, while his familiar hand found its place on your thigh, drawing shapeless figures, enjoying the peace of having you with him.
"I have to tell you something," You made sure to not make eye contact with Charles, hiding your face against his neck.
Charles chuckled with your reaction, "What is it and why are you hiding, bebé?" He tried to get you to face him.
"I know this wasn't planned or anything," you began talking but know Charles felt tears on his chest, it got him worried and helped you sit on the bed while assuring you whatever it was, you'd be able to find a solution.
"Babe, I'm two months pregnant," you announced and Charles placed his hand on his mouth in astonishment.
"No, in Bahrein?" Charles blurted out and a smile appeared on your face, of course that would be his first reaction as his brain processed the news.
You didn't know what you were expecting, maybe it was a problem because Josephine was still too young, maybe Charles didn't want another baby, you never really discussed it after Jo was born, but even in the dark his glossy green eyes were shining as his hand found its known place on your neck, his thumb softly caressing your cheek before lovingly kissing you.
those one of a kind kisses, the ones that were special and held so many emotions. neither of you could hide the smile appearing, only smiling at each other, Charles still caressing your cheek.
but suddenly he dropped his hand to your thigh, an unreadable expression on his face.
"But it's mother day and you're surprising me? No, I have this whole thing planned!" Charles protested and this made your eyes tear up, now it was your time to find his lips.
God, maybe it was time for a boy to mimic his dad.
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ladybirdswritings · 3 months
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Pride & Prejudice - Coriolanus {Young} Snow x Reader
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Summary: You’re birthed into a lively family in dire need of financial stability. As the eldest, you’re paraded around to be married and much to the dismay of your mother, you deny every hand offered. Yet unbeknownst to you, a man of great power and influence, Mr. Snow, is lurking in the shadows, waiting for his chance to have you. Steamy Pride & Prejudice retelling with young snow and you! Alternate universe, au!snow <3
Notes: I hope u girlies eat this up, getting scrapped otherwise </3 — as always, thank u for leaving comments and loves as it keeps me motivated!
next chapter
one
You’d much rather be at any other breathing, standing tower of gold trimmings and cracked pillars in existence.
At any building filled to the brim, simply overflowing with tiered skirts and lively grins… offered hands and gentlemen donned in fine suits, pockets suffocated by their own riches.
Yet you cannot be; for mama has ordered your presence to be most dire and mandatory. Although you did consider fleeing for the highest hilltop or feigning ill, you knew well that mama would find you or see straight through your falsehoods.
“My my, you look as though you’ve got something unsweet taped to your vicious tongue.”
You scowl at the blonde goddess most confusingly known to be your sister, and she only flips a ringlet of gold behind her poised shoulder.
“I think it to be quite clear how dreadful I find this. No need to observe aloud, sister.”
Her mischievous sapphire orbs glow with enjoyment, face pink and flushed — skin glistening under the gold lanterns flickering above.
You’ve watched happily from your seat, she’s sure to have danced with at least twenty men now.
No wonder mama has no fears or worries about Jane. She is just guaranteed to run off and be married within the upcoming season, it only makes for less of a distraction for mama— she’ll be glued to you like quill to paper.
It is not as though men do not want you. Oh, they do. Most ardently.
The trouble is only that you do not want them.
How horrible it is to be confined to four lonesome, frayed walls with nothing more than your books and your wit to keep you company. Married to a man who will most certainly be your senior, who busies himself with trivial matters and leaves you to be cold at home.
You would much rather drown yourself in the river stix than face a fate so melancholic.
You wish to be an odd thing, to run away into a cottage and spend your days parted from the people who surround you. You will read books of men made from dreams and you will find comfort in knowing that you will not be wed to a man who will only discontent you.
Of course, that would bring great shame upon your family, ruin them. So it seems you will end up a spinster or a governess. Both fates, although not as you may hope in your dreams, still offer more joy.
“Forgive me for having fun. It is not why I displease you however, perhaps if you picked your pretty head up from that book and stopped waving the hands that greet you away— you would know this. Mama has sent me. The duke, his sister and a dear friend of his have arrived here. Here! At our party, can you believe it?”
You huff out a sigh laced with annoyance, flipping to the next chapter of the dilapidated thing in your hands.
“No, I truly cannot.” You mutter, yet you cannot spare the fresh page even a glance before it is snatched from your clutched fingers.
A first edition, it shreds from its spine and erupts a gasp from both you and Jane. Mama’s cyan gaze is cold and anxious, feigning a tight smile.
That one was your favorite.
You do not lift your head, you do not notice the three towering men who look down upon your reserved oak wood bench in interest. Mama clutches the duke’s palm in an embrace of suffocation, yet you do not pay it even a little mind as you drop to your knees in your pretty dress to find the strayed page.
“My god, where are your manners — girl! Please do not pay her rudeness any attention, she gets sickly over these things. Sweetheart, up now— we can buy you another.”
Her voice is cold, devoid of any admiration. It is a lie, too. Your family cannot afford even a singular chapter of a new novel, let alone a first edition. You should be the one plagued by frustration, yet you feel as though it is you who is doing something wrong.
Even so, your eyes search the floor with great fervor, landing on a polished leather shoe which suffocates chapter twelve.
You wince, preparing all the words you can to kindly request the stranger lifts his big foot off of your paper. Yet they dissipate in the back of your throat.
The man, he bends at his knee as he frees the old thing from his sole. Your eyes lift to greet him, then.
He is a mess of blonde locks, unruly compared to that of the others with hair long enough. Theirs are tamed with ribbons, his only sits atop his head. His eyes are a cold color, one you cannot explain. They are commanding, fueled with great intensity.
Beyond all of this?
He looks most certainly miserable.
He does not wish to attend tonight, one glance proves this.
He spares you no words as he passes you the paper, eyes locked upon the contents of it. He offers you a hand of assistance, too.
You ignore it, wincing at the disgust your mother expresses.
You need no aid as you lift to your feet and dust the old thing off, he follows you — becoming a tower taller once he stands.
Jane, you are grateful now that she is still here. She laughs most uncomfortably, placing a polite hand upon your shoulder as she snatches the page away. Far more gently.
“My dear sister, may I introduce you to your grace — sir Sejanus Plinth of Newbury. Alongside him, his sister — Grace Plinth and their dearest friend, Coriolanus Snow, also of Newbury.”
You know well that you’ve just about boiled a vicious pot of scorching water, one you’ll have to face the many consequences of. A quick glance stolen toward mama proves it.
With a soft sigh, you curtsy to the men before you. A show of respect which you most certainly do not have for them. They are just as unimportant as the others, grand status or not. Including the miserable looking blonde with cold eyes.
“Lovely to meet you. This is truly a grand gathering you’ve all put together…” Sejanus offers with a smile of pearl. You peer up at him, his eyes stealing quick glances at goddess Jane.
Mama goes off on a tangent about how much she adores hosting gatherings as much as attending them — and it’s all a mere buzz in your ears.
Your eyes shift toward the sister, Grace. She’s scowling at you… how peculiar.
“Jane, forgive me if this is far too forward but — I would be most honored to be the last dance you partake in this evening.” Sejanus swallows back his nerves, wincing at the sound of his own voice. Sweet Jane doesn’t bother torturing him, she only nods a shy head.
“Oh, come Grace! I must show you how my youngest daughter performs on the grand piano!”
You feel poorly for the scowling girl who is whisked away by mama. Jane and Sejanus follow alongside them, but part as soon as the music begins.
Both of your palms come to a clasp— shifting weight on your heels as you watch Jane twirl and giggle a golden sound, so beautiful you are certain it could bring each and every single gentleman in attendance to their knees.
Well, except the miserable Mr. Snow.
Your eyes drift to him then — and you catch his gaze already locked upon your stature. He averts it hastily, staring at what looks to be the far wall after he is caught.
Does he plan to lurk here like a shadow’s phantom for the entirety of the evening?
“Do you dance, Mr. Snow?”
His jaw is a sharp — tense thing. It clenches in surprise at your voice. He doesn’t spare you a glance as he answers.
“Not if I can help it.” Is but all he offers before returning to a miserable state of silence again.
By god, to garner more than a mere word is equivalent to the act of tugging teeth loose. You purse your lips, turning your head away to find another question you could offer.
You do not bother, however.
For the first time in all your life, in all the seasons you’ve suffered — you wish to dance. Not because you find it to be fun or any more stimulating than a novel but; rather because you would be far more joyous away from him.
Beyond this, it would make mama less angered when the gathering reaches its end.
You do not offer him a word of parting before you plunge into the lively crowd. A man with blonde locks, not quite as icy as Mr. Snow’s own tousles, offers his hand.
You lose yourself in the rhythm, pretending to be that of a girl in one of your novels. Whisked away by a mysterious, dancing stranger who offers more than just a meaningless hand.
You pretend the blonde is to be a grand lover, one who will care for you beyond material needs. Beyond what is expected and a bore.
You pretend, and when the song ends — so does each and every one of your mindless fantasies.
To normality once again…
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lxclerc · 8 months
Text
𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 | 𝐜𝐥𝟏𝟔
summary… charles tries to help his girlfriend study but that proves to be difficult when he doesn’t understand a single thing requested… yes! warning… none. pure fluff.
note… another old drabble request from the graves of my inbox. also as a med student, i adore this idea so much
𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
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charles has never been the brightest stool in the shed when it came to academics. he supposes it comes with the occupation. growing up, he cared far too much about racing that he had no space left in his mind to care about school too. he was always meant to be a formula one driver so he never cared about the cell or the mitochondria.
ironically, you were the exact opposite. like him, you’ve known what you were meant to be the moment you got ahold of your first book. you’re going to be a doctor, a healer and you’ve dedicated yourself to that dream.
the human body is a beautiful machine, much like the universe. every little cell and atom circulating its vessel holds a purpose, creating a balance between life and death. it’s majestic, truly and a little bit scary. if one thing failed then the entire system could collapse and so you studied and studied and studied for ways to keep that system going, to cure ailments and diseases.
you thrive off academic validation and a minor superiority complex and yet somehow you’re the most anxious person charles has ever met.
he’s madly in love with you. this is a fact. him and his dream that required him to constantly put his life at risk and you with your dream of helping and saving people. really it was a match made in heaven. and charles is madly madly in love with you.
that’s the only reasonable explanation as he pulled himself out of his sim practice, seamlessly moving around the kitchen of your shared apartment as he prepared an ice coffee for you.
you’re drained and you’re on the verge of breaking down and so when he wrapped his arms around you and offered to help you study for your finals, you’d all but cried in gratitude.
no, charles leclerc didn’t care about the cell and mitochondria and but he cares greatly for you and so he’d study it if it meant you’d finally allow yourself to rest.
unfortunately for him, you’re way past learning about the mitochondria. instead you’re studying your worst enemy aka pharmacology.
“angiotensin receptor blockers prevent vasoconstriction and aldosterone release, causing a decrease in blood pressure and peripheral resistance,” you recite from the top of your head, still looking like you’re on the verge of tears but slightly better.
charles shook his head as he held the book you’d given him to help you study, his glasses on. “non, non, amour. it says here it’s ‘angiotensin receptor blockers selectively bind to the angiotensin I receptors in the blood vessels to prevent vasoconstriction and in the adrenal cortex to prevent release of aldosterone then lead to decrease in BP caused by decrease in peripheral resistance and blood volume.’”
you sigh again but couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped you. the first time he did it, you’d gotten frustrated but at this point, your brain is far too fried to even get annoyed at him. especially when even he looks like he’s about to start crying.
you pushed away the book from his hand, clumsily crawling over to him as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pushing him down so he’d be laying on the sofa and you on top of him.
“my love, i don’t need to memorize everything word for word from the book,” you explain as gently as you can for the third time. you know he’s just trying his best to help you.
“why?” he frowned. “wouldn’t it be better if you knew it exactly from the book?”
you giggled. “perhaps but no med student would ever survive memorizing twelve inch books word for word. we’d simply all break down and die.”
you hold yourself up, pushing his hair off his forehead before removing his glasses. he still looks confused but a lot of things honestly confused charles. thank god he has a smart girlfriend to explain everything to him.
“stop worrying about it,” you say. “i’ve studied enough and we both need a break.”
he sighed in relief, tightening his arms around you. “thank god i felt like my brain was put on a pressure dryer for a minute there.”
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jkslipppiercing · 3 months
Text
So show me | Part 1 | jjk
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♡ summary: your boyfriend has always been a fan of PDA, unlike you.
♡ genre: angsty, not really fluffy, a lot of frustration, miscommunication
♡ pairing: boyfriend!jk, frustrated!jk, whipped!jk
♡ warnings: oc is self-conscious, both of them are severely frustrated, not much in this lol, little bit of cursing, y/n is super horny, suggestive content.
♡ WC: 2.5K.
♡ a/n: well hello again! i'm back lol. this is the first part of the "show me" series! i hope you like it <333 this is my first go at angst, and im trying to ease myself into it 😭😭 i have zero clue as to what im doing please help <3
▪︎ general taglist
▪︎ index
▪︎ previous/next
enjoy!!
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"That'll be $22.50."
You smile sweetly at the cashier, opening your purse to pay.
Handing over the money with a grin, you thank her.
"Can I get it gift-wrapped, please? That would be great."
Christmas is about a week away, and the holiday vibes are clear as stockings and ornaments hang on every wall of the store. Decorated christmas trees shine with bright colorful lights and the festivity of the shop you're in makes you feel warm on the inside, in addition to the amazing smell of cinnamon.
On that note...why does it smell so good in here?
Christmas has always been your favorite holiday, multiple reasons why. one of the many is spending time with your loved ones...and buying them gifts.
Something about seeing them so happy just makes you feel happier by ten-fold.
The cashier smiles in return before she nods, holding the item as she turns her back to you and starts wrapping.
Meanwhile, you take the time to admire the little details of every single decoration-taking it all in- just when you feel a presence behind you.
Jungkook steps close, engulfing you in a tight embrace and humming softly. You welcome the feeling of security, humming back at his body warmth as he back-hugs you.
"Hey baby."
you giggle. "Hi."
"You done shopping?" He asks from above you, his chin pressing into the tip of your head. He had drifted off earlier on and left you to do your shopping, telling you to call for him if you needed any help.
"Yep. I asked for gift wrapping. Should be done in a few."
"Mmm, good."
Jungkook hums, dipping his head down. he inches towards your neck, resting into the crook of it and humming in a deeper- more suggestive- manner.
The sole sound has you kind of- blushing? Even though your cheeks never got that red, your eyes water and your breath hitches. You call it 'blushing' in your book.
He always does that kind of hum when you're doing a good job pleasing him...stuffing his cock-
His hands that were once wrapped around your arms and trapping you now release, only to circle around your waist instead, this time more intimately.
You love these kinds of moments, though you can't help but notice that the cashier is almost done wrapping your gift.
You find your eyes glued to her movements, almost anxious.
Jungkook's hand inshes dangerously close to your tit, and you grow slightly self-conscious in response, eyes still set strictly on the cashier's hands.
Her seeing you and your boyfriend in this situation would be kind of...awkward?
It's not that you don't appreciate the affection, you've just been more of a private person. Always loved to show love when alone, but never been a fan to do so publicly.
Jungkook, though? If PDA (Public Display of Affection) was a person? It would definitely be him.
Trying to voice out your thoughts, you whisper to him.
"Jungkook."
"Hm?" Again, that oh-so-beautifully-deep hum.
Fuck.
He snuggles his head even deeper into the crook of your neck, making it harder for you to think.
"We're in public."
He raises his head a tad bit, so you can hear him better.
"We're the only people here."
"Still, the employee could find it uncomfortable-"
"Are you uncomfortable?"
You're not.
You love jungkook.
Of course you're not uncomfortable.
You just care about people's opinions...a little too much.
Privacy is your thing, and you've always stuck to it- making sure not to make anybody feel a certain type of-
"Oh."
When you take too long to respond, your bad habit of overthinking the simplist of things pulling you under, jungkook's arms slip and waver.
He stays silent.
Jungkook was never silent.
He completely untangles and detaches himself from you.
"That's not-" You try to explain yourself, but the cashier beats you to it as they turn around and walk over to you.
"Here you go."
You accept the neatly wrapped box and thank her, rushing to leave. Your breath catches in your throat when you see jungkook already through the exit of the store.
You fucked up.
---
Under any other circumstances, you would've welcomed the pitter patter of the rain against the car's surface with wide, open arms.
But instead, you want to shrink; let the world split in half and swallow you whole.
Jungkook hasn't said a single word since you've left that store.
He went straight to his car, waited for you, then directly drove off as soon as you got into the car with him.
Not. A single. Word.
You observe him, taking note of how automatic- distant- his actions are. With one hand on the steering wheel, he rests the other on the armrest as he stares straight ahead. It's like he can feel your gaze burning a hole to the side of his face, but he's numb to the heat. Your eyes beg his own to look, but his are deaf...far; so far away.
You shouldn't have stayed quiet.
Mentally groaning at your stupidity, you lean your head against the window.
The rest of the ride home is silent.
---
"Jungkook."
No answer.
"You can't keep ignoring me like this."
Well, he can.
He proves that to you when he lets the barbell join the floor with a hard thud.
Only a small grunt of triumph escapes him, but otherwise; silence.
He hasn't spoken to you.
He parked the car under your apartment building- in its usual spot- exiting the car and heading to your home.
-silently.
He entered the apartment and left the door open for you, changed into his usual workout attire, and headed into his personal gym.
-silently.
It has been an hour since he's been in here, not sparing any effort to check on you.
You're getting quite frustrated with him. It's just- unreasonable.
He has his reasons for acting this way- you'll give him that- but where'd all the communication go?
You've been with Jungkook for well over a year now, and it feels weird; whatever this is. It hasn't ever happened before, probably because a similar situation has never occured.
You'd always hold hands in public, and it was never a problem for you.
But as a first real relationship...guess you were growing self-conscious about it.
What if they saw?
Will they speak?
Your train of thought cuts off as the sulking man grunts again, this time louder; intended to grasp your attention back to him.
He must've seen you zoning out.
"Enough, Jungkook."
Your words leave a tangy taste on your tongue. You really don't want to argue with him what-so-ever, but this is ridiculous.
he's being ridiculous.
You two could've talked it out to figure what the problem was- you should.
Instead, you're running after a person that keeps looking back to make sure you're still there.
He wants you to feel like you're genuinely being ignored, which is just- again- unreasonable.
Okay, the earlier...incident hurt him a little bit- and maybe a little more than that- that much is evident.
Jungkook merely scoffs at your words,
yet again ignoring you.
Fucking hell,
he's actually pissing you off.
"Giving me the silent treatment?" Your eyes sharpen with challenge, and his own light up with one of their own.
He leaves whatever he was doing to cross his arms and properly stare you down, almost belittling you- no, not almost, he is.
You've always known just how much Jungkook loves a challenge.
"Fine by me." Your smile is so sweet- but it's wrong. It's not the kind of smile he's used to.
And with that, you exit the gym, grab a random book, make yourself a cup of coffee, and prepare yourself for the long night ahead.
---
It's been...two hours.
Two long hours of utter torture.
And you've read a total of five pages.
Dammit.
Instead of reading, you're embarrassed to admit how instensely you've been ogling him for two hours straight.
He's just so hot.
The way he lifts weights like they're nothing.
The way his groans and grunts fill up the quiet space- and the whole entirety of your thoughts, leading them to other, much more sexual, places.
The way those exact sounds resemble the ones he's likely to make during sex.
You can basically feel your underwear sticking to you, your arousal evident.
For the first time since you've sat on this bench, stubbornly so, with your book and cup of coffee, he flicks a gaze over you.
Indifferently.
It makes your blood boil.
Your eyes lock.
his cold,
yours set ablaze by intense emotions of frustration.
You rip your gaze away from him to set it on your book, only to look back up at him two seconds later.
He slings a towel over his shoulder, grabs a bottle of water and unscrews the lid.
gently placing the bottle on his lips, he opens his mouth and chugs a mass of water all at once.
He repeats the motion once...twice... and your eyes are glued to the way his adam's apple bobs.
A thick lump forms in your throat, your breaths quickening. Must be...horniness.
You take the chance to properly look at him;
hair ruffled, body hot, muscles bulged.
Theres a slight sheen of sweat highlighting his neck, and a vein pops out from the way he's angling his neck up.
Your senses heighten.
He sets the bottle down, only to turn to you.
You try your best to hide the hormones.
Your eyes then trail down his neck to his collarbones, and you almost drool.
Scratch that, you're definitely drooling.
He looks fucking divine.
Well, of course.
He always does.
He looks as divine as it feels to love him.
You've always loved Jungkook. You still do. From the moment he waltzed into your heart with no foul intention and swept it off its feet, you knew you were absolutely done for.
Wrecked,
Ruined,
No longer containing any available capacity in your whole being to love anyone else.
Anyone but him. Even saying you love him more than you do yourself wouldn't be over-exaggerating...it would be true.
Call it obsession?
So be it.
A subtle scoff turns your attention back to him; body erect and all guarded up, his body language almost makes you tense up yourself.
You know for a damn straight fact that this is going to lead to an unpleasant conversation- even more so an argument- but whatever it is that's sizzling between you two like static electricity needs to die down.
It was never like this.
Tension,
Frustration,
Miscommunication.
"Bold of you to stare at me like that." His eyes never leave yours a second when he speaks.
He locks his hands behind his neck and rests them on his nape. His forearms bulge, and your eyes physically hurt from how hard they're trying not to gape at him.
Knocking his head back, he stares at you through his lashes with hooded lids and the most beautiful dark eyes.
You would've found the sight quite attractive- you do- but the subtle dig aimed at your staring attracts your attention more.
"Better get used to it, then." You stand, maintaining a protective stance yourself.
You're not angry, or...defensive, thought you might be a little shameless.
You just want this to end. For everything to go back to the way it was.
He smirks.
Your eyes harden.
"Oh yeah?" He lazily strides in your direction, and you cross your arms, almost acting nonchalantly.
Your irritation is evident and so is his, but the tension is so heavy on your shoulders, it makes your muscles tense.
His steps shorten until he's only a few feet away.
Not too close,
Not too far,
Yet feels like hundreds of miles apart.
"Wonder where that's coming from."
"Guess you'll have to find out."
This time, it's you who smirks when a sudden spark of challenge ignites in his irises.
"What i'd like to find out," He lowers his voice, his tone calm; in contrast to the dark storm reflecting the thoughts of his mind through dark, fogged up orbs. "...is what the hell on earth it was that happened today."
You stare at him, contemplating your options.
"I felt self-conscious."
The response is quick, but you're satisfied. You want to be completely honest. That's the best way to go at it.
You notice how he blanks out before you look away. Almost like he's fighting with himself over what to think of the response, his eyes portray the most intense feelings of complexity.
Quickly covering the slight feeling of confusion with frustration, his brows tug together, and in another context, you would've found the action to be adorable.
"Self-conscious? About us? What-" He scrambles to understand, and your eyes widen by an inch. "-are you- like- not sure about us? Anymore?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" You directly jump to answer his questions with one of your own. Your own brows join together, and the frustration builds further.
"Fuck, y/n." He gives you his back, walking in the opposite direction.
"What- I didn't even mean it like that!" Your voice raises slightly, purely in expression of desperation.
Why is this so complicated? It wasn't even that big of a deal.
He looks at you over his shoulder, his features bitter.
"How did you mean it then?" He scoffs, but his words come out quiet, serious, and clear of sarcasm. They come out hurt.
"Look- I just-" You take a deep breath, staring at the floor. "I don't want to fight."
You look at his feet, directing your gaze to a place where your mind doesn't feel overwhelmed. When you look at him, you want to look at his eyes, nose, lips...all of him. When you look at him, you see nothing but him. The whole world disappears when you do.
When you look at him,
You can't think about anything but how much you love him.
And right then it's like the whole world stops.
Like it's just you and him, in this gym, with nothing and no one else but each other.
"Fight?" His eyes rage with a thousand different broken emotions all fighting over dominance at once.
He shifts closer to you, only eager to show you the true weight of his love for you.
His index finger hooks under your chin and tilts it up to meet his eyes, only making your breath catch.
"I'd drop to my knees and beg if you wanted me to."
You feel your eyes water. There's nothing you could possibly think to say to him in this moment, except...
"I love you."
He returns a sad smile.
"Show me."
He cups your cheek.
Strokes it with his thumb, once.
Twice.
And in his presence remains a cool gust of air as his touch lingers and leaves a fire awakening.
Just then you realize: the fire that seems to spread further and further is that of love, nestled in between the teeny crooks and tiny nooks of your heart; the wildfire seemingly one of pleasurable pain.
Gone is jungkook, and welcomed is the loneliness as you hear the shower turn on.
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finelinevogue · 10 months
Text
parisian love
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summary - you are a little self conscious of your feelings in the city of love
word count: ~1.5k
pairing: boyfriend!harry x reader
a/n: harry had been looking too good lately so i had to write a little blurb about him again <3
“Quit it, will you.” Harry interrupted your scary glare towards your waitress.
You humphed and crossed your arms over your chest, leaning back against the little garden chair in the quaint Parisian cafe.
It was a gorgeous day in Paris and you and Harry were enjoying it together on his day off. Touring was always u such a hectic schedule, but Harry always made sure there was time for you.
Today he has suggested going to a cafe for brunch, seeing as all you’d been showing him were the infamous hot chocolates they serve here along with buttery croissants. You’d been waiting for the opportunity to have one, so Harry was treating you.
Only, the waitress was slightly ruining the experience by flirting with your, clearly, boyfriend.
“So you be the bigger person and be the one to quit it.” He replied calmly.
“So you be the bigger person and be the one to quit it.” He replied calmly.
His sunglasses and his hat shielded much of him away from the public, but clearly not enough for the waitress not to be all over him.
She kept making subtle touches to his shoulder, obvious glances towards his open chest where his linen shirt was unbuttoned and you could’ve sworn some buttons on her shirt had been undone since you arrived.
You picked up your hot chocolate and tried to let the smooth and sweet drink override your jealousy.
It wasn’t often that you were a jealous girlfriend, since you had to deal with it day in and day out, but sometimes it all got a little too overwhelming.
Especially in Paris.
All this trip you’d had this deep and unsettling anxiety in your chest. It made your chest feel hollow and your throat really clogged up. Your stomach was constantly full of anxious butterflies and you couldn’t bring yourself to confront as to why.
Harry was reading a tourist booklet about Paris, whilst you sat and people watched.
When you feel his hand cup your exposed knee, due to you wearing a pretty pink summers dress, you turn your head away from the people and focus on him.
“Hm?” You ask.
“I said, do you want to go on a walk after this?” Harry asked again, the first time having gone amiss to you.
“Oh, um, sure.” You gave him a small smile.
“I think there might be a garden around here that we can wander around.” He pointed to a page in the small book he was holding, but you get lost in thought again.
Harry returns to his book and before long the waitress comes back over.
You watched her put her hand on your boyfriends shoulder and look away just as quickly, in case you say something that will get you in trouble.
“Can I get you anything else today?” She asked Harry.
You sip your hot chocolate until it’s gone, having had enough of this.
You stand up abruptly, rattling the table a little. You turn to face the woman and notice that her hand is no longer on Harry’s body, but she is still stood rather close to him.
“I think I’m going to go somewhere where I don’t have to see another girl flirting with my boyfriend.” You say to her and watch her face void of emotions.
You look down at Harry, who looks up at the two of you with the same blank expression. You can’t tell whether he’s angry or annoyed, but you have a feeling it’s somewhere in between.
After gulping down the stone at the back of your throat that threatens the tears, you get up and walk off slowly so not to draw any more attention to yourself.
You sniffle your way out of the café and start heading down the road back to the hotel.
After an argument with Harry, sometimes you would walk off, similar to this, but what always happened is that Harry would follow you. Always a few meters behind, but he could never leave you fully alone after an argument and he would always find the fastest way to make it up to you.
A spare bench was located on the crest of a hill, where the rest of the city could be seen below.
You sat down and held your bag in your lap, opening the zip to find a pack of tissues with shaky hands. You took one out and dabbed at the corner of your eyes lightly, so not to smudge your eye makeup.
The view was gorgeous, but it was easily forgotten about when Harry sat down next to you.
He sat with a couple feet of space between you and as much as he hated it, he respected you want for space.
“M’sorry.” You spoke first, after a couple minutes of silence.
“You don’t have anything to apologise for, baby.” Harry comforted you by reaching one his arms along the back of the bench and stroking one of his fingers, gently, over the back of your neck. It was a reminder that he was really here for you.
At the subtle gesture, you sniffled and dived over to his side of the bench to snuggle up against the side of his body. Your head found home against his shoulder and his head rested atop of yours, after he left a little kiss there. His arm snaked around the back of your body and rested his hand on your outside hip.
You sniffled again and tried to control your watery eyes.
“What’s got you so sad, hm?” He asked.
“I hate being jealous.”
“Why?”
“Makes me look childish and insecure.”
“I don’t think it does, babe. I think it shows me how much you love me. You’re willing to get upset when someone else shows interest in me. It’s weird to say, but I find it comforting that you don’t want me for anyone else. The same as I don’t want you belonging to anyone else. I like you as mine.” His arm squeezes you a bit in reassurance.
“It’s nice when you put it that way.” You smiled, even though he can’t see.
“It’s okay for you to get jealous, Y/N/N. I just don’t like the idea of you getting proper upset over me.”
“You mean so much to me, Harry, i’m just scared it’s to good to be true being with you.”
“Well, how about we take each other for each day we have together and let what feelings we have for each override any fears or insecurities. Hey?”
“That sounds good.”
You both fall silent for a little bit, people watching as the sun sets over the city of love. It’s gorgeous how the sky burns a palette of oranges and yellows, you’ll probably never get over its beauty.
When you start giggling to yourself Harry perks up conversation again.
“What?” He asked with a slight giggle himself.
“Just thinking about how if you weren’t a musician you would make a good therapist.” You relay your thoughts to him.
“Oh definitely. I’d be good at any job.” You can’t see it, but Harry smiled down at you because he is happy now that you are.
“Oh really?” You laughed.
“Yeah. Try me.”
“Umm? A chef?”
“Oui oui. I have watched Ratatouille before.”
“Why are you a French chef?” You asked, giggling away the tears.
“Because we’re in the city of love, mon ami.” He laid on a thick English accent to answer your question, making you prod him in his tummy for being so annoying.
“Okay Chef.” This time Harry tickled you in your side instead. “Stop! Okay, um, what about… A firefighter?”
“You just want to see me in my suspenders again.” Harry laughed so loud that people turned to see what was so funny. You buried your head further into his body until your blushed cheeks passed over.
“Do not.” You counter argued.
“Do too. I know you do, because Lambert showed me his texts with you the other day of you demanding he bring the suspenders back to tour.”
“Ugh. He’s such a snitch.”
“Big Brother is watching you.” He referenced.
“Don’t refer to yourself as Big Brother again, you weirdo.” You laughed at him. You go to hit him playfully on his tummy again, but instead Harry caught your hand in his and brought it to his lips to play. He didn’t let it go afterwards, instead he chose to hold it tight.
Both of you go back to silence again, going back to people watching individually.
The sun had gotten lower now and there were more people coming into the city for a night out. You and Harry were going to be cuddled up in bed watching a Disney movie by the time these people enter their first club. The life of an introvert, you, loving and extrovert, Harry, meant you did very introverted activities together.
“Harry?” You asked quietly.
“Yes, m’love.”
“Can I ask you a question? And before you answer, I don’t mean for this question to start an argument between us but I am just genuinely curious.”
“You’ve got me a little worried now, babe, but go on. I trust you.” He replied and you shift a little in your position to gauge his facial expression.
“When you’re in Paris, o-or France for that matter, do you ever think about Camille? Like, do you get sad about her or feel anything?” You breathed out, but continue just as quickly, “Again, I’m not asking to provoke you, but I’m just thinking that someone of her importance in your life must have left an impression on you. Maybe, in turn, making you think about her at times like this?”
As soon as you’d asked your question, a wave of relief rolled off your shoulders. You couldn’t explain how freeing it was to have asked that. It was like that unexplained anxiety from the past few days had come from that question alone.
“Thank you for asking for politely, baby, first of all.” Harry kissed your forehead. “And since you were honest with me, I’ll be honest with you.”
“Okay.” You nodded a bit nervously.
“I do think of her.” He answered the way you were least hoping him to, but let him continue anyways, “But not in the way you think. When I think about her now I am always thinking of you, too. I rarely do think about her, because why would I need to, but sometimes certain moments will take me back and you’ll be there to get rid of those thoughts again.”
“I-I don’t think I understand.” You say.
“It’s like when we went for a coffee run the other morning and you happened to choose the same coffee shop that I’d been to previously with Camille. In that coffee shop, in that moment, all I could think about was how much happier I was to be standing there with you than I had ever been with her ever. I thought about, and still do, how lucky I am to have found someone that loves me just as equally as I love them.” He paused briefly, “So, do I think about her? Yes, but only because I’m reminded of how much more happiness and love and life I have gained from choosing you.”
You stared at him throughout his tiny speech and a little bit afterwards too. His eyes watered at the sight of yours watering - which you could tell even through his sunglasses.
“I need another tissue.” You laughed out through a couple of tears.
Before you could go diving in your bag, Harry cupped your chin with his fingers and drew your mouth close to his. He kissed you so feverishly that you would think it was your last one ever.
He pulled away with a pout, “I love you. I’ll always choose you. It’s you, forever, baby.” He kissed you once more with force. “Always. It’s a promise.
2K notes · View notes
alatusprinz · 11 months
Text
our prelude and beyond .
pairing : tighnari x f!reader
genre : cotton candy fluff, slowburn, mutual pining.
trigger warning word count smh: 9.5k
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summary : [ moments between you and your lover, based on tighnari's voice lines. from the moment when you first met to the future of your connection. ]
"to the silly encounter of fate that brought us together, forest watcher."
"to face perpetuity with you, young scholar" 
-
1 . " Hello . "
"archons above, what is up with this forest?" you couldn't believe you were lost inside an endless maze-like lush forest no longer than an hour after arriving at the gates of a new nation. so much for the sky-high expectations for a new experience. 
from left to right, up and down wherever you turned your sight, no sign leading to the place you were headed to was visible- not even a faint trace that looked anything similar to trails from people walking. you meddled with the wrinkled piece of note your mentor gave before you left at least ten times for the past hour. you scoffed at the tiny size and how it's almost ripped in half from how long it took for you to travel to this... still and unchanging forest seemingly in the middle of nowhere. besides, who writes "Gandharva Ville" on a piece of paper you could lose in less than a minute if you took your attention off it for one moment while traveling from one nation to another? clearly, your mentor didn't give a single crap regarding your journey to the actual research place you are supposed to stay at despite nagging your ear off about the etiquettes and reputation you were meant to uphold since you were “representing your entire nation”- her words, not yours. 
while you were staring at the paper in your hand like it was supposed to transform into a seelie and guide your pathway, you suddenly realized twilight would fall soon. you'd have no one around, no source of direction, no light and perhaps worse. when you heard sounds of unknown animals squeaking and creaking somewhere to your right, you were reminded that this was a foreign nation and even more unfamiliar forest. definitely worse out there.
you've been wandering around for hours now, it was a miracle how you haven't seen a single wandering soul around, not even enemies. it all felt eerily unfamiliar, lost somewhere in a foreign forest. and so with more anxiety flooding your thoughts than the proper, logical measures you’d need to find your way through, you walked around for what felt like another few hours.
amidst the endless wandering, you finally saw something that could be a place of significance, maybe a landmark- a sight of a giant tree towering over everything around it. 
in the light of the setting sun, the entire place looked marvelous, wildlife and plants prospering in harmony. when the sunray gently illuminated your skin, you finally had a moment for yourself to properly open your eyes and take in the beauty of your surroundings. dusk had painted the sky orange, scarlet and pink, even the clear air and gentle breeze looked like it was shimmering with the hues of sunset. a few verdant crystalflies fluttered around you, swiftly passing by and soaring to the skies- you had never seen such pretty green hued ones before. so this really was the land of dendro- you quietly pondered the obvious. lastly, traces and non-threatening (for now) sounds of wildlife brought quiet comfort to your anxious mind. hey, at least you weren’t wholly alone here. 
you returned your attention to the huge tree from a cliff above, wondering which route you should take to check out the surroundings. maybe it was the halo-effect of the prettiest sunset you had ever seen, but when you focused on the tree longer, you realized it looked faintly similar to a fairytale book you used to read when you were a child. 
"the tree of souls, a giant willow tree connected to all living beings around." you recited the familiar line under your breath, admiring how mighty the tree looked from above. was this the kind of giant willow tree the author was envisioning while writing the story? if so, you thought you could finally see the reason why everyone in the story seemed enchanted with its divinity and beauty. 
maybe a prayer could work, like it does in that little book you used to read? as silly as that sounded, you closed your eyes, brought your hands together and spoke out loud.
"dear mighty tree of souls, please aid me in finding the "Gandhara Ville" today safely. i'm not sure how many wishes you offer to faraway-land visitors, but for today, just me finding my way would more than suffice. thank you." a warm forest breeze swept past you, pleasantly caressing your skin as it whirled away.
"on a second thought, maybe add a loving boyfriend too while you're at it." you thought to yourself, slightly giggling at the additional childish wish. after all, you used to pray day and night for a lover you'd share your life with. not that Tsaritsa ever provided you with that, though. ironic and slightly unfair, seeing how your god was technically the archon of love. 
you were reminded of the need for you to move fast, so you intended on finding a way to at least make your way to the tree and climb up to see any sign of that mystery of a place you were to find. 
well, until a small piece of... something dropped right on top of your head painfully with a loud thud.
you immediately clutched your head and groaned from the contact- what the hell? you glared at the tree next to you, trying to see where it came from. since it fell right on top of your head, it was probably from the branch above- you came close to cursing out, but you held back and sighed. so much for your luck in praying to your childhood fairytale tree. 
"now what is this...?" what are the odds of a sturdy glass bottle labeled "dhayl oil" just dropping on your head out of nowhere? you picked it up and spun the small brown bottle around. nothing else was written on the sleek surface, the frosted glass body obscuring your vision to look clearly on what exactly was inside of it.
"what in the archons is dhayl, anyways?" you complained to yourself as you contemplated throwing the bottle down the cliff. 
"that would mean "tail", indicating that the bottle you're holding right now is the oil i use on my tail." right after you raised your arm to toss the bottle down the cliff, a voice suddenly broke the silence. your eyes widened at the voice and turned around at the unexpected presence of another... person. he was shadowed behind the tree a bit, it was hard to see just what his... species were. you were quick to realize that this person had to be a hybrid though, from his mention of a tail of his own. 
"plant-based oils are pretty complex to make, i'd appreciate it if you didn't throw my hard work off the cliff." when he approached you a bit, you finally confirmed your thought- this person in front of you was definitely a hybrid. you had never seen someone quite like him before, so you tried your best to examine his appearance as respectfully as possible without making it clear that you were gawking. 
two large ears stood tall on his head, and a bushy tail behind that he mentioned. you narrowed your eyes a bit and tried your best to silence your thoughts but- holy crap this man was pretty. were all hybrids this pretty? though you didn’t remember reading anything about the mere identity of a hybrid enhancing your physical features. 
"sorry, i didn't think it belonged to someone. it dropped onto my head above from the sky, i thought maybe it was a retribution from celestia." you managed to reply as normal while resisting the urge to roll your eyes. you remembered the thud sound it made when the hard glass bottle made contact with your skull. it still hurt, you managed to soothe the ache by rubbing it softly.
to your surprise, the man laughed lightheartedly at you. if he was keeping his distance from you first, maybe he had come to the conclusion that you weren't a threat. he came closer, standing right in front of you.
"you have a pretty big traveling bag. would you happen to be a part of the group of exchange scholars coming from different nations to sumeru?" ah, so he was aware of the program you came for. which means there was high possibly that-
"indeed, i am. are you a forest ranger, by any chance?" you finally felt relieved, running into someone local. maybe he knew the way to where you were supposed to have arrived approximately 5 hours ago.
"technically yes, a forest watcher to be precise." you narrowed your eyes in confusion, you admit you weren't an expert in sumeru's scholar titles and those who work for the Akademiya yet.
"it doesn't matter, i am a part of the crew, yes. you are correct on that." sensing your confusion, the man replied shortly. glancing at you up and down, he took out a small piece of note from his pouch.
"let's see, we have scholars to go to the Akademiya in branches researching the Akasha, the canned knowledge, historical runes and records, elemental incantation based charms, and elemental energy. which one of those are you assigned in? i'll find the location and find a forest ranger to accompany you safely there." the man checked his list again, then looked at you, expecting an answer.
"but i'm not here for the Akademiya." an awkward silence was shared for a few seconds before his ears perked up in realization. 
"ah, so you're that one... peculiar person who majors in a different field, yet applied to train for botany." during your conversation, you barely managed to divert your attention away from his fluffy ears, unsure if it would be offensive to stare. you wanted to touch them so bad for some reason. you’d blame it on the fact that you had never seen a hybrid before but you had a feeling that wasn’t the only reason, it was just to reassure yourself that you weren’t the odd one here.
"you don't get scholars to botany often?" you held up the conversation despite your mind being flooded with his ears. were these fox ears? you wanted to ask. it had to be, it didn't look like cat or dog's. then again, you really weren’t familiar with manners regarding hybrids- the last thing you wanted to do was somehow offend your only chances of finding your way. 
"botany, it does get an impressive number of students. it's just that most scholars choose Akademiya, not our base inside a foreign forest. they usually choose the safer option, unlike someone. highly peculiar indeed." you weren't clear if he was subtly making fun of your choice distinct from your major field, but his latter statement caught your attention.
"our base?" you tilted your head.
"you're headed to Gandharva Ville to experience first-hand botany and the forest ecosystem, correct? that is where we forest rangers live and work." your eyes lit up, finally with the realization that your small wish to that giant tree did come true after all. not to mention, with the help of this ... small bottle in your hand.
amidst your conversation, a memory of your mentor shouting at you about formalities of self introduction and its importance shot through your mind. wait, come to think of it-
"oh, now that i’m reminded... okay. hi, i'm (name), as you know i came here to study botany in relation to my field. i'm sorry for the late introduction." you finished your self introduction awkwardly . you thought of shaking his hand, but refrained once again due to not knowing the etiquette in a new nation and settling for a slight bow-down. perhaps they didn't shake hands here upon first encounter, judging from the way he isn't exactly offering you his hand either. he giggled a bit though, while you were unsure why.
"from the top, i see. hi there. i'm Tighnari, Forest Watcher of the Avidya Forest. my duty is to preserve both the rainforest's ecosystem and the safety of its visitors... that would include you as well, newbie scholar." he tilted his head a bit, looking at you straight in the eye with an amused glint in his amber eyes. wait- were they amber? you could’ve sworn you saw hints of green too. 
"could i please ask you to escort me to your base? i've been lost for a while now, as you see..." you reached out to him to hand him the bottle of his "tail oil", whatever the purpose of that was. the forest watcher gratefully accepted his oil back and slipped it in his pocket securely with murmurs of thanks. his somewhat amused look never left his face, even though it was faint.
"that would technically be my duty, newbie scholar. can i help you with your bags?"
-
2. Mistakes and… Leafmark?
time passed by quickly ever since you came to the forest rangers' basement. every day you would get up, spend time revising and learning about the ecosystem in Avidya forest, sometimes go experience it first hand with the forest rangers in training, then report to Tighnari by briefing on what you learnt that day. it was somehow rigid of a routine but it never got too dull. forest life surprisingly fit well in your living preferences despite the slight hesitation you had before coming here. 
tighnari surprised you in a way. you expected him to be a bit... different than he turned out to be. for starters, he didn't demand for you to submit a paper like your mentor did back home. it was trickier, he claimed that it was easier, and just that you had to simply visit him and prove to him through "civil, organized discussion" sessions that you've spent the day productively and learnt under his watch. unfortunately, tighnari himself is like a walking encyclopedia of every single plant, animals and who knows what more- known to teyvat. you were sure he didn't mean to be that condescending, but holy hell, was it intimidating at times when you failed to answer his questions. perhaps he was never aware, but he asked ridiculously precise questions often and would spend a long time bombarding you with information on the subject at hand. it was interesting, you admit but it turns out he was much, much more brilliant than you in somehow magically absorbing every ounce of facts he happens to encounter. 
of course, you never exactly outright avoided his discussion sessions. but you had to admit that after a month and half being here, some of what you learnt would get mixed or carried on misunderstood until the forest watcher corrects you or somehow tricks you into answering incorrectly or doubting your answer until you're sure enough to not fall for his word-mazes. the worst part was when tighnari suddenly brings up a random mushroom you discussed 2 weeks ago for approximately a minute, then asks what environment it grows well in, what herbs it's best mixed with, and your own personal insight on how you intended to use it in connection to your field if he’s feeling particularly tricky that day. 
it distressed you to no ends when you couldn't remember it as well as expected even if he has never, not even once discouraged or expressed disappointment in you. if anything, tighnari was an extraordinary mentor, always ready for questions, discussions and hands-on examination if you appeared interested enough. when you failed to answer correctly, he’d always nod with a soft hum, and explain from the top to ensure your correct perception on the topic. tighnari also always reassured you when you looked disappointed when you weren’t sure of the answer, claiming that mistakes are the key to success and that you should never be distressed or scared of him of answering incorrectly. 
though you adore him, it still stresses you out when you fail to answer his questions to your capacity. you reminded yourself again, tighnari isn't doing this to spite you- he merely wants to make sure you spent a worthwhile period of learning under him. he has enough work on his hands to begin with, why would he bother to tease you? he awoke well hours before you do, then always remains in his office after you two's little sessions, goes through tons of paperwork, research and whatever else his duty calls for until ungodly hours. come to think of it, you've never seen him sleep before- one time you caught him still doing paperwork at 4am and when you asked if he wasn’t tired, he merely responded with a “fennec foxes tend to focus better during night hours”. in other words, he didn’t exactly deny being exhausted. 
you were really concerned about him overworking himself, but you were frankly unsure if you were someone who could ask such things. sure, you two spent time together alone often, but most times, it was for academic purposes or obligatory meetings. (there were sometimes moments that existed outside of "most times", though.) so, there just wasn't any convincing reason as to why someone who barely has time to sleep would dedicate time for you. 
except, maybe you were wrong- you thought today.
"less with the reciting, (name). dictionary definition-style precise answers are your expertise, i know by now. give me an example on what difference it makes if you squeeze the juice out of Rukkhashava Mushrooms in comparison to pressing it into powder for making first degree burn ointment." your eyes nearly fell out of your socket when you heard the mention of that specific type of mushroom- Rukkhashava? not because you barely remembered any academically beneficial facts about it, but because of a faint memory of you reading it was viewed as an important symbol connected to the Dendro Archon that struck your mind. you opened your mouth to declare that people couldn't possibly make ointments with those almost-celestial mushrooms, but then you hesitated.
your memory wasn't clear enough. what if you answered and if you were wrong? tighnari worded the question clearly, specifying the procedure and even mentioning what purpose ointment it was used for. perhaps you were wrong? why would he ask acutely like that if it wasn't even truly used in the medical field?
before you could mumble that you didn't know, the forest watcher sighed and lightly poked your forehead gently with a book. then poked you again. and again.
"what-" as soon as you opened your mouth to complain, he answered it before it even left your mouth.`
"you're going to end up with wrinkles, you know? i asked you a question about botany, not philosophy. no need to look so distraught as though finding path through afterlife." tighnari really tried to help you be comfortable with him and not view him as an absolute superior, but you often had trouble doing it his way. it wasn't how you learnt it back at home, after all. old habits die hard.
just like that, you were unknowingly furrowing your brows again. your forehead was met with the book again, tighnari gently pushing it as if to straighten your eyebrows and possibly prevent you from getting wrinkles or something of the sort.
"see, that's the face. i keep on telling you over and over to just relax in front of me. tell me what you were thinking of, i know you had something in mind just now." you're on the right track most of the times, anyways. he wanted to say, but held his tongue.
"i... seem to remember that those mushrooms you mentioned weren't exactly the normal species." you analyzed his face to see if there were any hints of positive or negative reaction. maybe he'd look pleased if you were right. except, his face remained completely blank as always, only gesturing you to continue. he was exceptional at keeping his poker face during these discussions, you had to give him that. 
“go on.”
"...you know, with relation to the Dendro Archon and all? i seem to remember that it was a holy crystallization of the dendro god's legacy." you finally finished, slightly worried if your answer was correct. you distinctly remembered something along the lines, you were sure of it. and yet you couldn’t seem to be able to conceal the slight hesitation especially when you couldn’t grasp if you were right or not. 
to your relief, tighnari retracted the book from your face softly, then smiled slightly.
"good job. i could tell you knew." your eyes widened in pleasant surprise, struggling not to beam at him in happiness.
"that's probably the biggest problem i want to help you fix, (name). you're never fully sure of yourself unless you are able to carbon-copy book definitions on a piece of paper. you have exquisite memory, excellent interpretation skills and everything a scholar needs to continue their path, but you lack confidence in your own self." tighnari crossed his arms, still maintaining unwavering eye contact with you. he was being serious about this, and you couldn't deny his words either.
"i- sorry, it's just... a habit. i'll try to avoid it from now on." you awkwardly meddled with your fingers from the sudden memory of tighnari complimenting your learning skills and wit just a minute ago. his praise wasn't something you heard often, it made you feel... content. happy, if you may.
"don't be afraid to make mistakes. it's all part of the learning process. i'll be by your side to help you out if you need." if you were feeling happy before, you'd say you were over the moon now.
"from now on, i want to give you a small assignment." your eyes snapped open and stared at your mentor. already? you had just finished an encouragement talk just now and he's already thinking of your next move. except, what he suggested was very different from what you expected.
"avoid using ambiguous words like "i seem to remember", "i think", and "i guess, i believe" when talking from now on. in front of me, for starters. that's your first assignment from me personally."
"that's... a rather curious assignment, mentor."
"pay no attention to the academic aspect. even in your daily life, you're to practice it until you're comfortable expressing your ideas without outright bringing voice of doubt to yourself." at the mention of this not being a purely academic program, your confusion doubled. tighnari crossed his arms and spoke again.
"i'll explain to you later if you want to know why it's important. but for now, let it remain a mundane assignment you just have to complete. is that clear?" you nodded as confidently as you could muster. at least that was a start.
"alright, you're dismissed for today. but before you leave," he paused for a while, then skimmed through his book as if searching for something.
"ah, here it is." he mumbled and brought the book towards you.
"i remembered that you were talking to collei about not having enough bookmark to use on the parts you found insightful. you see, if you press a leaf between dry sheets of paper, you can make an attractive and handy bookmark. i can't guarantee how sturdy it would be, but it's very pretty isn't it? i call them leafmarks." on the book page he showed you, was a beautiful fresh hue of light green, swirled with brown colored leaf-bookmark as he mentioned. it reminded you of his own unique eye color, almost identical in color palette.  there wasn't just one, he had many of those 'leafmarks' in various colors. you had the slight question if it was intentional that he seemingly picked out a specific one resembling his orbs, but decided not to get too ahead of yourself. 
"you're giving them all to me?" you managed to ask, then took the hardcover book from his soft, warm hands. you barely even reacted to your skin touching his, too busy admiring how pretty the leafmarks all were. you even spotted a pink leafmark, you were positive you had never seen such mystic color of leaf before. although you didn’t seem to notice, tighnari’s hand softly shivered when they came in contact with your skin, seemingly lingering for no more than a second as his eyes softened at the pleasant sensation. 
"indeed i am, young scholar. you clearly are enamored and need it more than i do." you smiled at your mentor's kindness, and bowed respectfully.
"thank you, thank you!" tighnari's eyes widened, then made a conflicted face- almost bordering an offended look at your rigid etiquette even when you were alone with him. 
"i'd also appreciate it if you started treating me a bit normally."
"normally?" you questioned.
"i don't want to be regarded as your mentor back home. you and i are both equal scholars here." your eyes couldn't leave tighnari's face as he explained to you in detail.
"i just happen to have lived in sumeru all my life and my expertise is botany. that's the only reason why i know more than you for now. you came from a different nation, and on top of that you haven't even studied botany prior. you don't need to treat me like a superior, it’s unfair for you." the more time you spent with tighnari, you admired how down-to-earth he was. he was humble and warm, kind and responsible. he practically was the main guardian of the forest, yet remained the least arrogant person you've probably ever met. it was so... endearing in a sense, to see.
"...okay. thanks, tighnari. good night." you smiled, and left his office. tighnari, despite his best efforts to hide it, his ears perked up at the mention of his name. you pretended not to notice how happily his ears jumped and how he looked like he was fighting a small smile. 
that was the first time you called him by his name, not titles.
-
3. about Tighnari - under his care
"are you acclimating to the rainforest? I suggest that you keep your eyes and ears open. take care of yourself, and if anything happens, just flag down a Forest Ranger." the unexpected question took you by slight surprise.
"asking if i'm getting used to the forest after 4 months is a bit too late, no?" you tilted your head in confusion.
"it never hurts to make sure. the forest isn't a playground and i'd hate for you to get hurt." ah, so he was merely concerned about you.
"by forest ranger, would that include you as well, mister forest watcher? i could call you chief watcher, even." you jokingly stated, teasing him as you do often.
"of course i'm included. i'm always willing to take care of you whenever you need me. just a call and i'll be there." he said these words in such a casual tone despite your slight playfulness, yet it brought immense comfort with a wave of warmth blooming in your chest. you were certain that he held no deeper meanings, his duty was to ensure the safety of the people and the ecosystem. still, it brought a smile on your face. maybe, a small corner of your heart wished that just maybe you wished it was more than that. 
'whenever i need him, huh' you thought with a bashful smile you tried not to show.
"that's very assuring to hear, tighnari. thanks." you glanced outside to slyly hide the uncontrollable, giddy smile. 
little did you notice the small dust of rose hue on the forest watcher's cheek, his ear hanging a little lower than normal. he couldn't take his eyes off you, even when you averted his gaze and stared out the window. he had gotten so used to having you in his office, it felt empty and cold the moment you left. and tighnari was no fool, he had a hunch on why exactly he seemed to have difficulty tearing his eyes off you, why he suddenly grooms his tail even more than before, why he hurries to finish his paperwork so he could have more time with you without worrying about them. he knows, but he chose to cast them aside for now.
for now, tighnari opted to just cough, and then avoid your eye contact for the rest of your conversation.
-
4. mornings with tighnari.
you signed up for this yourself, you bitterly mumbled. you did this to yourself when you deliberately found tighnari and offered your assistance first on your own free will, for the morning patrols. you barely even thought it over, or found no necessity to. it was so that you could see first-hand which plants were which instead of burying your head in the books to no end. on top of that, tighnari was possibly the most knowledgeable person in the area to educate you more if you had trouble with anything. he never looked irritated when you asked questions, and explained in great depth within the best of his capabilities. again, he was an excellent mentor, you were grateful you applied for the Avidya forest section, after all.
but despite your blatant admiration towards your mentor, morning patrols were not a part of your duties as an exchange scholar. it was your thirst for knowledge and perhaps, the slight warmth in your chest when you realized you could spend time alone with your mentor that brought you to your conclusion, of course. you tried hard to dismiss the second half of your reason though, even to yourself. you conveniently concealed your lingering thoughts and acclaimed it to be mere curiosity and fascination with the ecosystem. 
unfortunately, you just weren’t expecting the forest to be this deep, with possibly millions of passages and places he was supposed to check. Avidya forest was big and vast, and circling it around to no corner unturned was certainly not written on your academic program before you left your hometown, neither did tighnari warn you about the insane amount of stamina necessity- not even half an hour and you were already struggling to keep up. you attempted to pretend like you weren’t on the edge of passing out behind tighnari, the desperate attempt at grasping your last shred of pride but you could’ve sworn he noticed your wobbly legs a while ago. 
"we already went over this place, right?" you tried your best to sound like you weren't on the edge of collapsing out of breath, but of course nothing escaped tighnari's abnormally huge ears.
“revising the area. you’re that exhausted already? do you need time to catch your breath?” you weren’t sure if you had the leisure to comprehend his playful, teasing tone.
“just a moment… just a moment is all I ask.” you finally swallowed your pride and stopped in your tracks. you held onto a tree next to you, slightly crouching to catch your breath. but just before you plopped onto the incredibly soft-looking soil below, tighnari gestured you to wait for a while and went through his belongings in search of something.
after a short moment, he pulled out a mat. a thick, warm-looking one at that.
“sit on this, the ground is still moist from the morning dew. can’t have you catching cold now under my watch, can we, newbie scholar?” you slightly frowned at his peculiar choice of nickname even after several months, but you still opted to quietly accept the mat.
“isn’t this too small for the both of us?” you mumbled after setting it down on the ground.
“indeed it is. because it’s for you.” he stated like it was the most obvious truth in the world. 
oh. 
you suddenly found yourself conscious of your movements. is this even good manners, to receive your mentor’s mat and then proceed to sit on it alone? then again, you recalled the conversation back at his office. he said it himself clearly, he didn’t like unnecessary formalities between the two of you. you were sure tighnari would sigh and flick your forehead if you put up the formalities again. 
well in that case…
“thank you so much, tighnari” you smiled and gratefully accepted his offer. when you finally relaxed on the ground, you sighed in relief. the mat he brought was as cozy as it looked, you loved how warm it was. Tighnari on the other hand, looked extremely pleased that you accepted his help without the frigid manners you seem to carry. 
“it’s so warm, do you carry this with you every day when you patrol? must be heavy.” you noticed how thick the material was as you ran your fingers over the material.
“…not quite.” i only brought it because you were joining today- he held his tongue from adding unnecessary remarks. you hummed in acknowledgment and enjoyed the small break.
out of the blue, tighnari crouched down to your level, silently reaching out next to your sitting figure to straighten the wrinkled part of the mat below - when you hadn’t even realized it was wrinkled and messy. his sudden actions left you unintentionally staring in awe at his unfairly pretty face and kind gesture. when he suddenly leaned in to finally finish pulling the mat to be as comfortable as possible for you to sit on, he looked directly at you.
you prepared yourself for the playful snarky remark he always shot after correcting your mistakes, but this time he didn’t. when he finished fixing the mat for you, he just smiled at you warmly and stared at you without moving away. you mind seemed to freeze when you noticed how he still kept crouching to your level, his body in a slight close proximity.  
suddenly, you were more nervous than you could’ve imagined from mere eye contact. after all, you weren’t sure if you’ve ever seen his face this up close before. his sunkissed healthy skin, brown eyes with prominent green hue swirling deep near his iris, and long lashes to compliment them. his hair seemed to be naturally straight, you'd never seen him prepare any oil of the sort like he grooms his tail. you huffed internally when you noticed how faintly pink his lips were, how was he this ethereal without trying? it really is unfair.
little did you know, he was having the exact same thoughts about you. his eyes seemed to silently observe the details on your face, pupils dilating slightly from the sight. the two of you looked into each other’s eyes one more time, then noticed on both ends, how heavy-tension the atmosphere was. 
almost at the same time, you two looked away, your head dropping low to stare at the ground as tighnari swiftly averted his gaze sidewards. 
thankfully, tighnari was the first to break the awkward silence, still crouched down to your level. something about him maintaining his stance was endearing, like he wanted to be closer to you despite his uncomfortable position- and who knows, maybe that was the truth. you silently hoped it was.
“listen! that’s the sound of morning dew dripping upon the leaves.” you blinked at the random remark he made. judging from his expression, he looked like he wasn’t making jokes, so you focused on hearing the oddly specific sound he mentioned out of the blue- of course to no avail.
"i don't have extraordinary hearing skills like someone, remember?" you squinted and tried your best to focus on the sound, whatever you could hear. unfortunately, all that graced your ears was the sound of leaves rustling from the calm breeze, and maybe the sound of sunrise if such thing even existed. it was no use, you had never heard dew droplets on the leaves before and was fairly positive that you never would be able to within capabilities of a human ear.
“i keep forgetting how unfortunately small your ears are. must be hard, unable to pick up pretty noises like these, hmm?” he diverted his attention to your ears, tilting his head and leaning in even closer to observe how different yours were in comparison to his own. your brows furrowed and you shot back playfully.
“excuse me, I seem to remember that you are a fennec fox, biologically programmed to have significantly higher sense of hearing. and my ears function normally as a human’s do anyways.” tighnari laughed, he always enjoyed getting on your nerves to an appropriate extent.
amidst your lively conversation, both of you noticed life slowly grow brighter inside Avidya forest. you couldn’t help but notice tighnari’s normally sharp eyes mellow at the sight of an ethereal sunrise. you stared at the rosy hue cast across the eternal sky, shining in its glory unapologetically. amidst the depth of Avidya forest, life awoke alongside the first shreds of sunlight. the strings of liveliness spread vastly from birds chirping giddily, some of the flower petals blooming as if awakening from slumber and curious sounds of the forest embraced the two of you.
and on top of that, you were equally busy admiring how endearing tighnari looked right now, his expression similar to a little boy who’s gotten a good night’s kiss on the forehead after his mother read his favorite bedtime story. the forest watcher looked peaceful, basking in the first rays of the day next to you. it was curious in a sense, surely he must enjoy this breathtaking view every day on patrol. yet, he looked as though he was the happiest one in teyvat at this very moment, like it was his first time experiencing such magnificent scenery. 
an adoring smile made its way on your lips as you rested your chin on your hand. quietly, you continued to admire the side of tighnari you’d never seen before.
perhaps, under the glassy orange skies and glory of sunlight pouring on his skin, was your favorite sight of him thus far.
-
5. afternoons with tighnari.
“catching the chief watcher slack off, today must be my lucky day.” tighnari’s ears did a small twitch at the sound of your familiar voice. 
“i’ll have you know i’m on my lunch break. there isn’t anything i’m slacking off on, young scholar.” tighnari replied as composed as ever despite the way his ears kept excitedly twitching even after he was long aware of your welcome presence. 
“besides, during lunch breaks, I like to sit in a tree and admire the sunlight streaming through the canopy. though if I'm not careful, I'll fall asleep…” his unexpectedly cute concern and habit of admiring the forest like he doesn’t live here permanently tickled at your heartstrings. you bit back a smile when he immediately moved to make space next to himself while looking at your approaching figure with an expectant gaze. a small hummingbird flew past you two, making tighnari’s ears twitch again. no matter how many times you saw that, his ears and the twitches, reactions were quite endearing. 
“you were already half asleep when i saw you, chief watcher” you giggled when he rolled his eyes at your accusation. 
“well, since you’re sensitive to sounds, you could be a light sleeper to begin with, right? maybe resting for a while during lunchtime isn’t so bad.” you continued lightheartedly, your concerns over his health and overworking tendencies showing in your tone.
tighnari seemed to pick up on your caring tone when his brows raised slightly in pleasant surprise. to tighnari, someone taking care of him and not the vice versa was uncommon. he was known to be pretty much the foundation of the forest watchers, chief in almost every branches of what happens in Avidya forest- there was nothing going on in this forest where he wasn’t aware. and maybe because of his “status of authority” he so-badly despised, most people knew better than to pry on their superior’s personal life even if it was mere concern. for tighnari, the way you treated him and regarded him brought warmth and gratitude. and his feelings were clearly evident in his gaze directed to you, if you had the determination to open up your eyes. 
“it’s amazing, really. seeing how much you care for the forest and ecosystem.” you mumbled absentmindedly while making your way next to him and sat down. almost immediately, you realized what he meant by the specific description of “sunlight streaming through the canopy.” it truly did look divine, Avidya forest always did. 
tighnari wanted to answer with a sassy comeback to your words until he realized you were being serious and was currently looking at the tree and the sunlight with a big smile on your face. he didn’t even have the leisure to wonder how close you two were right now, you looked so peaceful, so… beautiful. he felt warmth spread in his chest as he looked at you being so comfortable around him, he quietly wished he could help you release your tension.
“it’s… expected for a forest watcher.” he barely managed to reply, keeping his gaze on you as discreetly as possible. 
“except, it really isn’t. it takes a lot to appreciate the small things in life. you’re quite humble and down-to-earth, it’s refreshing really” you continued as you suddenly felt the urge to let him know just how wonderful company he was. 
tighnari wasn’t one to blush and hide his face at compliments, especially from scholars under his care. well, let’s just say that you were an exception with the way he awkwardly coughed and pretended like he was wiping his mouth as his cheeks flushed rosy red. 
-
6. a very good evening with tighnari.
“good evening! I'm preparing to go observe bioluminescent flora. want to come?” you jumped a bit from the unexpected voice coming from your door.
“tighnari!” you snapped your head to the direction, finally realizing that the intruder happened to be your mentor.
“did I startle you? I apologize, your door was open so I assumed.” tighnari mentioned. sure, your door was open but your original thought was to let fresh air in your room, not invite visitors. you admit that he wasn’t exactly unwelcome, though. tighnari was… different. 
“are you in the mood for a stroll, young scholar?” your ears perked in interest as you met his eyes glinting with evident joy. 
“bioluminescent flora glows every night, but their light is different this time of the year. the color changes, and they shine in an iridescent glow, almost. it’s very attractive for sightseeing.” his idea sounded absolutely beautiful, you nodded quickly in enthusiasm. besides, your mentor himself also looked unusually excited, he must be looking forward to looking at the floras probably even more than you were. his excitement brought a smile to your lips- his giddiness was highly contagious, it seems.     
“oh, I’ll just quickly grab my memo. I expect today will be another day of extended learning from our chief watcher.” you giggled and quickly went through your desk in search of that one small memo you keep visible in case.
except, your search was hindered when you felt tighnari reach out and place his hand on yours softly and slightly hesitantly. your eyes widened at the featherlight soft touch slowly turning firmer until his fingers gently laced around yours. your mouth gaped slightly, then heat flushed your cheeks in realization and the possible implications of his intimate touch- your stare fixated on your linked hands.
one thing that unexpectedly calms your nerves down was when you realized his own hand was shaking slightly, indicating his nervousness. you were no exception, your breath hitched the moment you felt his skin on yours. it was made even worse when he turned your other hand around and proceeded to slip his fingers through yours, entwining them together, now both hands in his. the reassuring squeeze didn't help your racing heart one bit.
you remained positively speechless, unsure how you should even reciprocate, squeeze his hand? speak?
thankfully, he spoke first.
“it’s not… academic, (name). no memo-taking or learning. just… a stroll with me. is that okay?” tighnari couldn’t tear his eyes off you, he had never seen you look this endearing before even when he always found himself admiring you in silence discreetly to you. perhaps he enjoyed your stiff body language out of nervousness and your wandering eyes traveling everywhere but him far more than he assumed. who knew you could look this adorable flustered. 
you finally realized his intentions clearly, still unable to take your eyes off your connected hands because you had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to look straight into his eyes without your heart threatening to leap out of your chest. you couldn’t deny the warmth you felt not only from his hand holding yours but also from how he keeps glancing at you for the slightest concern in case of your discomfort. his grip on your hand was nowhere near forceful, if anything it was tender and comforting, the way his hands wrapped around yours. you could easily pull away if you wanted, but you fought back a small smile as you squeezed his hand softly in response. 
tighnari’s ears twitched in excitement. 
so all along, you weren’t imagining his tenderness towards you. he felt warm and welcoming, you couldn't help but squeeze his hands again gently in response, biting the inside of your cheek in an attempt to control the growing smile. 
"of course. should we go?" you mumbled, gaze still lingering on your hands in his.
neither of you spoke about your still-connected hand when you left your room, and it stayed that way throughout the entirety of the "stroll". 
both of you quietly hoped that the linked hands would become a regular occurrence from now on. 
7. home.
surely enough, holding hands had become a more regular occurrence after your small date observing the nocturnal flowers and bioluminescent flora that one warm evening. you also decided you would accompany tighnari every morning for patrol even though you barely manage to drag yourself out of bed when the sun wasn’t even out yet, but it was all worth it every time tighnari picked you up with a gentle smile on his face and sometimes tucked a small flower he grew himself in your hair. it had become an unspoken habit to patrol with your hand in his, basking in your warmth as well as make sure you didn’t stray too far. perhaps it was his inner protectiveness, perhaps it was his monogamous nature speaking but he silently knew he felt uneasy when you remained out of his sight for an extended amount of time. tighnari knew how deep his feelings had grown, and he found himself more and more infatuated with you as he spent time with you. the feeling was highly mutual, and you two felt more comfort in each other’s company in the comforting depths of Avidya forest. 
come to think of it, your time in sumeru was limited from the moment you set foot into the lands. now, there wasn’t anyone on your trails that would kick you out of the borders should you extend your journey, and you were glad you hadn’t caused any trouble in sumeru as it would possibly make you the unfortunate candidate of general mahamatra cyno’s watch. tighnari seemed to be close friends with him, but from the way he not-so-subtly quizzed you of your intentions and studies you pursued like an interview, the awkward conversation intensified by his stone cold face with absolutely no hint of anything besides blankness. you couldn’t help but be reminded of how intimidated you were on your first encounter with him when you absentmindedly mentioned the occasion. tighnari had assured you with a quiet laugh that he was merely curious, and it made you quietly wonder how to not draw attention to yourself from now on. you couldn’t help but remember his awkward jokes he slipped in to potentially ease your tension but it might’ve had just the opposite effects. tighnari seemed pleasantly surprised and happy you and cyno seemed to be getting along as one of the two dearest people he held in his heart. you couldn’t help the slight hesitation if you actually were “getting along” but at least the general mahamatra seemed to care not to intimidate you too much. you suppose time would tell.  
your mind returned to the peaceful silence you two shared at present, his thumb gently caressing the back of your hand as he kept a soft hold on them. you deeply enjoyed spending time with tighnari like this, but you couldn’t help but be reminded of your soon-to-leave plans every time at moments like right now. time was flowing fast especially now that you had found something- someone worth pursuing here in a foreign land. both of you were silently aware of the fact, and neither of you had the heart to bring it up just yet especially when the fresh start of a new relationship was so, so comforting and full of life. 
you were resting your head on tighnari’s shoulder, sitting on the branch as you looked at the willow tree you two met under. you couldn’t believe how peaceful and right the world felt when you were with him, you never knew your life could be like… this. amidst the comforting atmosphere, tighnari softly broke the silence. 
“(name)” his voice sounded quiet and somewhat unsure, a tone you scarcely ever heard him use. you looked at him in attention. 
“yes?” 
“i…” he spent a few seconds pondering on just how he could bring this up. just from his hesitance, you knew what he was thinking about, and it was perhaps the time to discuss the elephant in the room and hopefully get the slightly hefty conversation over with. 
with a single sigh, tighnari stabilized his voice and looked at you. 
“i think we need to discuss your time left here in your curriculum.” you bit the inside of your cheek at the expected, yet conflicting topic. it wasn’t as though you hadn’t thought about it before, it just demanded both of you to be present and willing to open your heart and opinions for you to come to a conclusion together. this tension perhaps was the reason why you seem to have been unconsciously avoiding this moment. with a soft sigh, you nodded softly in response.  
“less than a month left, yes” you softly replied, your eyes still focused on the willow tree you met him under. in a way, the tree had granted both of your wish. but you don’t seem to remember asking for a loving boyfriend “forever” or anything of the sort. a boyfriend, yes. but the duration… maybe you should’ve added the time while you were at it. 
before you could organize your thoughts and answer what your stance was, tighnari softly rested his head on your shoulder, gently wrapping his arms around your waist to draw your figure closer, to silence the slight hesitancy and worry of potentially being let down if you weren’t on the same page. 
“i can’t ask you to leave behind your life at snezhnaya and accompany me at a foreign land… but at the same time, (name)...” tighnari laced his fingers with you close, the warmth of his hand radiating in your palm as his other arm was holding you tightly in his embrace, his breath softly hitting your neck. 
“i… can’t just bid farewell and thank you for the memories. i didn’t start this relationship with you for lighthearted fun or for some teenage dream.” maybe you could have made a playful joke about neither of you being teenagers at his statement, but tighnari’s proximity, his protective embrace and his mellow voice echoing at the back of your mind, you couldn’t help but softly pat his head as he hugged you tight. 
“i’m not with you just for the thrill, dear.” you replied quietly, resting your cheek on the top of his head. tighnari seemed to let out a slightly shaky breath, an indication of relaxation when he finally got the confirmation he desperately needed from you. that he wasn’t the only one completely infatuated with you. 
“are you aware… of what we are? what we would become, and if you’re ready, if you’re sure?”
“I-” you opened your mouth to respond, then closed it to give him time to express his worries. 
“fennec foxes mate for life, (name). our kind is highly monogamous and i… have to warn you about it before our relationship progresses more than it already has. we aren’t as flexible as some humans prefer.” his soft voice cooed, his somewhat stern tone silently reminding you to listen carefully and give this matter a serious thought. you blinked and finally realized the reason why he was unusually clingy and vulnerable than usual, so he truly couldn’t let you go. 
a small, loving smile appeared on your lips as you snuggled closer to him, still running your fingers through his hair and sometimes gently playing with his ears, making him sigh in comfort. 
“what i mean to say is… you need to have your mind set. i take you very seriously, much more than you may think at this early stage of our bond.”
“... dear…” you softly whispered and held his cheeks with both your hands, carefully lifting him up from your shoulder to meet his gaze. he truly looked lovestruck, his eyes glistened with tender care, devotion and affection all directed to you, and the sight made your chest warm up in overflowing love. 
“tighnari, i don’t regard our relationship in a light manner. i don’t see you as someone less than my partner for life. i take us… very seriously too.” tighnari could’ve sworn he fell in love with you all over again, finally getting your final answer he desperately needed to hear. he loved you, loved you too much to let you go, loved you too much not to cling onto you tight and keep you with him, to care for you. yet, he always had the voice nagging to him about how humans weren’t like him, that you could walk away any time, that humans weren’t as devoted as his kind. and just like that, all of his worries seem to melt away at your soothing, promising words that you whispered. 
“you wouldn’t be asking me to leave behind my life at snezhnaya because i won’t. i’m a scholar here and a scholar back home, and sumeru is the land of wisdom, no?’ tighnari’s ears twitched and perked up beyond control at your positive implication of words. 
“you mean…”
“i wouldn’t be throwing away anything to start with, tighnari. i’ll just be moving onto a new lifestyle. change to my environment. you aren’t asking me to abandon anything, please don’t worry. i’m choosing…” you suddenly halted mid-sentence at your cheesy words, looking away from his eyes to seem as normal as possible.
“i’m choosing… you. on my own will. you aren’t making me do anything.” and with that final confirmation, tighnari all but leapt to embrace you tightly. his hand wrapped around your shoulders, holding the back of your head as he pressed your face into his shoulder. he held you like you meant the world to him, pressing soft kisses on your forehead as he happily caressed the back of your head comfortingly. 
“thank you, thank you… thank you, love…” your face heated up from how he repeated the words, pressing loving kisses all over your face after he pulled away. your lips connected softly, his hands gently holding your face like you were the light of his world, the reason for his existence. you were, from now on to him- his one and only. you smiled into the gentle kiss, placing your hands on his shoulder, tilting your head to move your lips in sync to his sugarsweet kiss. tighnari’s hold on your face was so, so tender, his thumb caressed your cheek ever so softly as your kiss prolonged, the warm rays of the evening sun wrapping you both in its cozy heat. 
you pulled away, smiling at tighnari as he still held your cheeks. you couldn’t help but lean into his hand, placing your own over his. 
“i love you… i love you so much” tighnari couldn’t take his eyes off of you, you looked perfect right now, the golden sun pouring on your skin, your cheeks heating up in his palm from fluster, and the relaxed smile on your lips- the enchanted, lovestruck glint in your gaze as you two looked into each other’s eyes. you were always beautiful to him, but you truly did look absolutely breathtaking when you were in his arms, just where you belong. 
with another soft gentle kiss to your forehead and your soft laughter echoing through Avidya forest, even the sunsets seemed to embrace the young couple hopelessly in love, letting them bask in its ethereal glow. 
finale.
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utterlyotterlyx · 16 days
Note
Can I request something where Azriel has to pick up Nyx from school one day and thinks his teacher is cute & is very flirty with her?
Yes! Love this idea so much!
When I Kissed The Teacher
Azriel x Fem!Reader
Summary - Feyre loves Nyx's teacher but loves playing matchmaker even more. After sending Azriel to collect Nyx from school one day after feigning a studio related emergency, she's very happy to learn that Azriel's affections are completely in the palm of your hand.
Warnings - none really, just cuteness all round
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Feyre had always been worried about sending Nyx off to school, even though she believed Rhys when he told her that the schools of Velaris were the best in Prythian, she couldn't help but feel anxious that he wouldn't thrive.
Then she met you, and all of her worries faded away.
You were everything Feyre wanted in a teacher for her child, it had taken a lot of weight throwing to get him into your class, it was full to the brim of children from higher born families, only wanting the best for their offspring. Feyre wasn't even surprised.
It was clear how much you cared about your children, in nurturing them into intelligently creative creatures. Other teachers focused solely on the academics, but you had a passion for the arts, you said creativity helped children to find their passions and grow into more compassionate and joyful souls.
Nyx had run into her arms when she had come to collect him that first day, babbling on about what a wonderful time he had with you. Miss Y/L/N. Feyre had never seen such wonderment in his eyes when he told her in that broken infant language how great you were. Everyone's worries about Nyx becoming a shell had vanished.
The little thing had returned home with paintings, reciting poetry from your favourite passages; he had the desire to read, making different voices for the different characters like he had learned from you. Nyx was well and truly flourishing.
Feyre had insisted that you walk home with them one afternoon, since you only lived five minutes from the River House and it was on your route home anyway. From that walk, Feyre had learned much about you, that you were from Spring but left after being disowned by your family for wanting more from life than being married away to be used as a breeding tool. After that you had travelled the continent, making many friends along the way and opening your mind to the world before settling in Hewn City, only to be brought to Velaris on Rhys' orders because he had heard of your talents and passion and wanted it taking root in the children of his city.
The more you spoke, rambling on about art and books and theatre, did Feyre come to the realisation that a certain someone would be absolutely besotted with you. When you had hugged Nyx goodbye, ruffling his hair and telling him you'd see him in the morning, did Feyre begin to hatch her plan.
Azriel wasn't one for sunshine and rainbows, but even he had to admit that Nyx's and Feyre's gushings about you had him intrigued, even Rhys had commented on how sweet you were, seemingly very fond of how Nyx was excelling under your wing.
"Az, would you mind grabbing Nyx today? I have to head to the studio, delivery emergency," Feyre floated past him toward the door, a thin cloak fitted around her shoulders to protect her from the afternoon summer breeze that drifted along the Sidra.
"Uh, yeah. Sure," he waved Feyre from the house as she dashed down the path shouting over her shoulder what time to be at the school for.
The sun was beginning to dip in the sky but warmth still flew through Velaris, Azriel walked along the winding paths and up the hill to the school, the skittering sound of children's laughter filling his ears as he approached. Parents parted as he walked down the cobbled stone path, not wanting to graze against his wings with slight unease in their eyes. Azriel was used to it by now, the looks of disapproval, the slight fear in the people he passed.
The bell rang and birds shot to perch on the branches of the trees that surrounded the plush gardens teeming with bright flowers and wildlife. Children began to file out from the open door, grabbing their bags and running to their parents with wide smiles, excited to tell them what you had taught them that day.
Azriel spied the inside wall littered will paintings and cards, all addressed to you, as well as a wooden table filled with the gifts the children had no doubt made their parents purchase for you.
Then he saw you, and the Shadowsinger audibly gasped. There you were, dressed in a loose white blouse with stringed corset, an earthy brown skirt that fell to the floor covered in colourful handprints that reached your thighs, your hair was unbound and baby hairs whispered along the sides of your face.
You were sunshine. You were radiant.
Nyx's hand was curled in your own as you led him out of the classroom and Azriel could have sworn he'd never seen a brighter look on anyone's face as the little man searched the crowd, "Uncle, Az!"
Your gaze had also fallen on him and you drank in his smile as Nyx left your grip and hurtled to the Shadowsinger, his grin was large, showing off all of his teeth as he bent down and wrapped Nyx in his toned arms, laughing loudly and asking about his day before standing up.
"I don't think we've ever formally met," you held your free hand out, your other carrying Nyx's bag, "I'm Y/N, well, Miss Y/L/N."
You were as soft as summer rain, adoration in your orbs, and you radiated purity and grace. Azriel glanced at your outstretched hand, sliding his own into it and feeling a force of gravity will him closer to you, "So you're the one that has Nyx ready for school at the crack of dawn," he felt relief when you didn't recoil at his hand in yours, the hands that usually made people grimace, "Azriel," you giggled softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your pointed ear.
High Fae.
"Guilty as charged," your voice was like butter, smooth and rich, the perfect balance of femineity.
"Can't say I blame him," he smirked at the heat that rose to his cheeks, at the sheepish smile that tugged at your lips.
"That's very nice of you to say," one of your students walked past you, waving goodbye, and Azriel watched you bend down and fix her jacket to her body, telling her to have a lovely weekend in the sun, "Nyx has had a lovely day today. He just keeps on flourishing, it's remarkable," you had told him once you had risen again.
"I'm sure anyone could flourish with you around. Must be the Y/N effect," he cocked his head to the side at your giggle, just happy to be able to examine the woman who had Nyx all excited every morning. Feyre and Rhys were right, you were remarkable. Like a rainbow rippling in a storm.
"Must be it," the birds jumped from branch to branch around you, like they wanted to keep an eye on you for as long as possible, flitting to the bird houses you had erected by the pond of ducks and in the trees.
"Would you like to walk home with us? Feyre mentioned that you didn't live too far from the house?"
Your mouth fell into the perfect o shape, "Oh, I wouldn't want to impose-"
"You're not," Azriel smiled, looking down at Nyx, shaking his little hand and asking, "Is she, Nyx? Would you like Miss Y/L/N to walk home with us?"
"Yes!" Nyx shouted and you laughed, a laugh that made the edges of your eyes crinkle, you disappeared into the building, returning a few moments later with you satchel, locking the door and taking Nyx's free hand in your own after handing his bag to Azriel.
Azriel was positive that he'd never seen Nyx shine so brightly.
The walk home was full of light chatter, you made Azriel laugh more times than you could count, and Nyx was pointing out random things along the way, looking up at you for approval and tapping his feet on the ground when you nodded and smiled.
From the house, Feyre watched through the curtains as Nyx ran up the path, and kept watching as Azriel lingered behind, she wished she could hear what he was saying to you. But as you smiled, and blushed, and then nodded at the Shadowsinger who was kicking his feet like a schoolboy, she knew it was going well.
Strong arms wrapped around her midsection and her back hit a hard chest, his deep chuckle vibrated through him and his warm breath fanned against her ear, "Playing matchmaker again, darling?"
Feyre hummed with a gentle smile, accepting the peppering kisses over her shoulder as she watched you walk away, looking back at Azriel and waving before turning the corner, "I think this is my best one yet," she told Rhys, noticing the pursed smile on Azriel's lips and the faint pink tinge to his complexion as he followed Nyx up the path.
"I'm inclined to agree."
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SO CUTE!
Thank you for the request! x
636 notes · View notes
neptuneiris · 13 days
Text
could you pretend to be in love? (06/10)
The Connection
pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)
summary: an unexpected person from the past shows up and there is a family dinner to attend, resulting in disastrous thoughts and difficult decisions.
word count: 8.9k
previous part • next chapter • series masterlist
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the chapter is finally here!
sorry it took me so long, if you didn't see my last post go do it and you'll know why👀 but we can put it behind us now and I'm excited to tell you that the next chapter will finally give us that next level we've been waiting for so long!
I really hope it won't take me that long but for now, let's enjoy this new chapter and as always, I'll be very anxious to read your comments🥰
enjoy!
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The day of the dinner is slowly approaching.
And you still don't feel completely sure about it. However, despite your doubts and worries, you haven't backed out.
Mostly you think about what you're going to tell Aemond's mother by way of ruining things out of nervousness. Of course he should have already given her information about the relationship, but you're worried that she'll ask you questions and you won't know how to answer.
But that's not the reason she wants to get to know you… is it?
You think she probably just wants to know more about you, your likings, your non likings, your aspirations in life, your dreams, your family and things related to that.
Right?
You just hope so.
You've never done this before, meeting a guy's parents, ever. And you just get more nervous and feel more pressure knowing that Aegon and Helaena will be there too.
As well as you also feel guilty about the fact that they all think that you and Aemond are for real and you're just going to go there and convince them and assure them that you and Aemond are crazy about each other… when it's not true.
Now it's Thursday, tomorrow is dinner and Aemond doesn't seem at all concerned about it, when your thoughts are being completely tormented with it.
Still, you listen attentively to his words as you put away some books in your locker and he's standing next to you, leaning against the lockers, with the Romeo and Juliet book in his hands.
"Why did you make me read this shit? It's too hard to read and I don't like it," he says longingly.
You look away from your books to him and place a small amused smile on your lips at the sight of his face.
"It's like poetry and I don't like poetry, I don't understand it," he says frustrated, "I don't understand any of the weird rhyming they say."
"Well, Shakespeare has a unique way of expressing himself."
"Yeah, but what does he mean by 'My lips, two humble blazons, are ready to seal with a kiss softly'?" he recites reading the phrase with his brows furrowed and you let out a small laugh.
"Shakespeare loved beauty in words, even if it meant complicating things a bit."
"Yeah but why can't he just kiss her and be done with it without saying these weird words that give me cringe?"
"Come on," you give him an incredulous look, "It's romantic. The whole book is romantic with a tragic ending."
"This is definitely not romantic," he says incredulously and shaking his head, "It's weird, boring and makes me want to puke."
You look at him with a pout.
"You're not romantic at all."
"Excuse me?"
He immediately comes to defend himself, staring at you incredulously and completely indignant.
"I can be extremely romantic, thank you very much."
You raise your hands in a gesture of surrender, with a small smile as you see the spark of amusement in his gaze.
"You of all people should know that, you've witnessed it and you're the reason I do it mostly," he adds.
"But that's not… you know," you give him an expectant, knowing look.
"It's still romantic."
"No, it's not," you say with a laugh.
At your playful response, still busy at your locker, you don't notice and Aemond suddenly approaches. He takes your chin with one of his hands gently but firmly enough, causing you to look up at him, catching you off guard.
"What did you just say, my love?" he asks with a mischievous smile and amusement in his gaze, appearing serious and warning.
He brings his face closer to yours with a demanding gaze and your heart begins to pound as you let yourself be carried away by his proximity.
It is clear that he is going to kiss you, what does this mean if not kiss you? So you watch him expectantly and with your face lifted towards him, really looking forward to the sweet contact, your lips inches from his.
But first Aemond looks around briefly, wanting to make sure that some students in the hallway are watching you. When then, you see that he is overlooking a specific spot in the hallway.
You see how there is a slight glint in his eye and then he no longer moves.
You frown slightly, waiting. And before you can say or do anything, Aemond suddenly pulls away.
Confusion overtakes you and he clears his throat by averting his gaze, then smiles softly at you as if he wasn't about to kiss you seconds ago.
"Then I'll be more romantic next time," he says, taking his distance from you, as if trying to minimize the tense moment you've just shared.
Was he going to kiss you or not?
You can't just tell him to kiss you either, that he was going to, since this isn't real but… the change in his behavior confuses you, you don't quite understand what just happened and you don't know what to say.
"I have to go to the field now," he tells you, averting his gaze for a moment before looking at you again, "I'll see you in class, okay?"
"Hum… yeah, yeah, okay," you nod, still confused.
He gives you one last smile and before leaving, he gives your shoulder a light squeeze with his hand, another gesture that catches you off guard. Without a kiss on your forehead or cheek, as he usually does, he walks away.
You stand in the hallway, watching him go, with a mix of emotions you can't help but feel confused, uncertain and... disappointed.
Questions swirl around in your mind, but you don't have any answers. So shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you close your locker door and head to your next class.
Eventually you continue to run into him and he acts normal, as usual. He sits next to you in class, does the teacher's requested activities with you, and walks with you through the halls to the next class.
And everything is…normal, in a way.
Although he's still being kind and attentive, he's not being as affectionate as usual.
You can see how he's distracted, deep in thought from time to time, something is on his mind, something that you have no idea what it is but that keeps you alert, confused and makes you feel completely different from previous days.
You sense that the dynamic between you today has changed somehow, leaving you feeling bewildered.
And you don't know why.
Although it's not until break time that you find yourself sitting at a table alone, still feeling this awkwardness, when Alysanne comes in and drops the big bombshell on you that makes all the sense in the world.
"Why are you here eating so casually when I just saw your boyfriend catching up with his other ex-girlfriend?"
You raise your gaze to her almost instantly, with a mixture of surprise and confusion, a knot forming in your stomach as the weight of her words settle on your shoulders.
"What?"
"Yeah, Floris Baratheon," she says, then looks at you slightly confused, "How did you not know this?"
"What?" you repeat, not understanding.
"Floris Baratheon," she repeats to you slowly and clearly, "Dark hair, not as tall and certainly not as bitchy as Alys but still she falls into the category of girls who are superficial and think they are better than other girls," she explains to you.
Confusion lingers in your gaze, for despite the explanation, you still don't remember anything about a girl named Floris Baratheon at school.
"You really don't know who she is? Aemond didn't tell you about her?" asks Alysanne incredulously and your face answers her questions, "She transferred schools for a semester and just returned this morning. She and Aemond weren't actually dating but they had a thing when he and Alys broke up for like the twelfth time."
Your mind whirls as you process the information.
Honestly you had no idea about Floris' existence back in your invisibility days at school. Therefore, you also had no idea that she and Aemond had ever had any kind of relationship.
However… there is something you have an idea of at the moment.
This is why Aemond acted weird with you this morning, because of her. He must have seen her in the hallway and his demeanor changed completely.
"I-I didn't know that," you admit in a soft, low voice, trying to hide the uneasiness that is starting to creep up on you.
"Well, it's weird that Aemond didn't tell you anything, especially since I saw the two of them so comfortable and happy talking," she lets you know, "And I'm not telling you this with any malice or to make you feel bad, it's just that I think you should know, even though I thought you already knew."
You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling a surge of emotions wash over you that you can't quite explain, nor can you avoid.
You're not sure what to think or how to react to this, but one thing is for sure; things between you and Aemond are likely to get complicated.
But what can you really do?
You and he aren't really dating. What's the point of asking him about it when it's really none of your business? Besides if he didn't talk to you about it before, when he saw her, it must be for this very reason.
You have no right here, even if you feel this.
"Do you want to get out of here?" asks you Alysanne later, noticing your face and probably everything that is invading your mind.
And soon enough, she takes you to the rooftop of the school, outdoors, where you just sit and watch the sky and listen to her while she smokes a cigarette, talking to you about Cregan being around her lately.
But as much as you want to give her your full attention and corroborate what she is telling you, you can't.
The rest of the classes are without Aemond, since you don't share them with him, and when the school day ends, still not knowing exactly whether to wait for him to drive you home or not, you head for the exit of the building, deep in thought.
"Hey."
You feel a hand grab your shoulder and when you turn your head without stopping moving forward, you find Aemond standing next to you.
"Hi," you reply softly, turning your gaze back to the front.
And he at your side gives you an attentive, curious and slightly confused look.
"Are you okay? I didn't see you at break," he says softly, "I also texted you and you didn't respond."
"Oh," your mind goes blank for a moment, "I was with Alysanne on the roof. She was talking to me about some things."
"Hmm," he nods, still watching you between a mixture of attentive and curious.
Then the two of you say nothing more, with the silence loud between the two of you and that tension emanating from your body, when you speak again.
"Are you going to drive me home today?" you decide to ask him, watching him, with that hesitation in your tone of voice and look.
And he frowns, watching you blankly.
"I always drive you."
You are about to speak but a third voice does it for you, stopping your steps and also Aemond's.
"Aem!"
The two turn their heads and there she is, Floris Baratheon.
Black hair, brown eyes, slender and absolutely beautiful features. She approaches with a smile, showing off her perfect, aligned teeth.
Everything about her screams money, as well as elegance, from her perfectly coiffed hair to her impeccable designer clothes and accessories.
And the moment she catches both your attention and Aemond's, you notice how he beside you tenses slightly.
"Hey," she gives him a charming smile and her full attention, placing herself in front of him, "The guys are going to get something to eat, I was just told. Do you want to join us? We can take off in your car and catch up some more."
"Hum…" he is silent for a moment, shooting you a nervous glance, scratching the back of his neck.
And throwing you another glance, this finally catches Floris' attention and she notices your presence as well.
"Oh… hi," she smiles softly at you.
Despite your nerves and how uncomfortable you're starting to feel, you force yourself to smile as kindly and genuinely as possible.
"Hi."
"I'm sorry, I don't think I know you," she tells you in an exaggeratedly kind tone of voice.
And this too finally gets Aemond to react.
"Yeah, right, that's my fault," he says trying to act nonchalant and completely relaxed, "Floris, this is Y/N, m-my girlfriend."
You watch as she parts her lips and her surprise is evident as she looks at Aemond and then turns her attention back to you.
"I-I didn't find the moment to tell you."
You instantly observe Aemond, with a look that even you can't explain and he suddenly can't control his nervous gestures anymore, giving a wary glance to you and then to Floris.
"Oh."
She turns her gaze back to you and though she tries to hide her surprise, the strength of her smile seems a bit forced as she holds out her hand to you.
"I'm Floris, nice to meet you."
And within everything you're feeling right now, like awkwardness and feeling out of place, you still shake your hand with hers.
"Nice to meet you."
Tension is in the air and Aemond looks hesitant for a moment. And you continue to feel like an intruder between them, getting in between the interaction of two people sharing a history you don't fully know about.
When Aemond speaks again.
"Floris is my…
He tries to tell you, but his words are left floating in the air.
Suddenly you see how he struggles and searches his mind for a way to introduce you to the girl he had a thing with in the past, only according to him, you don't know that, when certainly Alysanne already took care of it.
And just like you, you too feel Floris' anticipation, waiting for him to introduce her.
"An old friend," he finally says.
Floris arches an eyebrow slightly at Aemond's introduction, her lips curving into a smile that seems to contain more than just politeness.
"Yes, that," she punctuates, with a knowing look that to you does not go unnoticed, "Well, I just wanted to know if you were free for this afternoon. Although if you want you can bring your girlfriend with us," she proposes.
Aemond takes a moment to respond, averting his gaze as he scratches the back of his neck in a nervous gesture.
And that's when you decide to speak.
"You can go with them," you tell him and that immediately gets his attention and hers, "I can just take the bus or something and I'll see you later," you say to start walking away from both of them.
His attention and slight surprise is most visible on his face, but before you can move too far away, he grabs your hand and advances towards you.
"What? No" he immediately inquires, "No, I'll take you home."
The determination in his tone of voice and in his gaze makes you feel a little more comforted, but still, you can't shake this uneasiness in you about Floris' presence.
And that's when Aemond turns to her again without letting go of your hand.
"Sorry Floris, another time," he tells her in his firmer, slightly strained voice.
And she nods with a sympathetic look, though you can't help but sense there's something else behind her expression.
"Of course, I understand, it'll be for next time then," she says, before turning to you, "It was nice meeting you, Y/N."
And finally she is the first to walk away.
You exchange a look you can't quite describe with Aemond and feel the awkwardness and seriousness linger between the two of you, even as the two of you leave the building and make your way to his car.
And once in the passenger seat and with Aemond driving through the city streets, you find yourself fiddling with your fingers in your lap, still feeling the awkwardness in the air.
You don't understand exactly what's got you right now but you can't even see Aemond out of the corner of your eye, so you keep your gaze focused straight ahead and on the side where the window is.
"Are you okay?"
You suddenly hear his voice speak softly to you, feeling his gaze on you from time to time and you squirm a little in your seat before you speak, swallowing hard.
"Yeah, all good," you say, trying to sound convincing.
He exhales deeply, noticing your distance again.
"I'm sorry if the Floris thing made you uncomfortable. S-she…" he sighs, "She's truly a childhood friend. We had something in the past but it was very brief and it's no longer relevant."
And although there is nothing wrong with his words, you still can't help but feel a slight knot in your stomach. And you act completely unconcerned.
"I understand," you say simply, in a soft voice and still without looking at him.
But this is not convincing to Aemond, who licks his lips and can't help but worry about the situation.
"I mean it."
"Aemond," you call him softly, finally looking at him, "I understand, I really do," you assure him, "I also meant it when I said you should go eat with her and your friends. You seemed very uncomfortable and there was no problem from me."
He nods slowly, but still looks a little uneasy.
"I just didn't expect I was going to see her again."
And you don't know if that's worse.
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"Are you ready?"
Oh God, are you?
"I don't know," you answer honestly, nervously, looking at your outfit.
For this occasion you chose a pair of pants, ankle boots and a white tank top with a black jacket over it. You don't look overdressed but decent for the occasion, along with your makeup and hairstyle.
"Hey, easy," he says softly, placing both hands on your shoulders, "It's going to be okay. Besides we won't be alone, Aegon and Hel will be with us."
"Yeah but that's not what I'm worried about," you clarify, playing with your fingers, "What if I ruin everything?" you ask watching him fearfully, "What if everyone realizes that we're not really dating because of me?"
"I'll take care of that, don't worry," he assures you, with his soft gaze, "You just have to corroborate everything I say and stick to the main story. Other than that, my mother will just ask you questions about you to get to know you better."
"Are you sure?" you ask, not entirely convinced.
"Very," he affirms you, conveying calmness and assurance in his voice.
"You've done this before?" you can't help but ask, still with some hesitation, "I mean…" you lick your lips, nervous, "You've brought a girl before to dinner with your family?"
He is silent for a moment, as if considering how to answer, as the implication is clear because that's not the real question, you know that too.
Rather it is: have you ever brought Alys to dinner with your family before?
"Yes," he finally admits in a murmur, sincerely, "Yes, I have."
You stare at him silently, without the two of you saying anything else, only to look away and nod, again trying to look unconcerned, trying to calm your nerves further.
"My mother never liked her," he says later, again attracting your attention, "You know, Alys."
Again, you say nothing for a few moments, just lick your lips and nod.
"I understand."
Aemond lets out a heavy breath and takes a step towards you, lowering one of his hands to take one of yours, gently rubbing his thumb against the back of yours, this also immediately catching your attention, as you see him looking at you for a moment thoughtfully.
"Are you ready now?" he asks you softly, raising his gaze to you, "We can stay here a while longer if you want."
"No," you reply immediately, "No, I don't want to make everyone wait for us," you release a long breath, calming your nerves, "I'm ready now."
He places a small comforting smile on his lips.
"You'll do fine, trust me," he assures you then moves closer to you and leaves a soft kiss on your forehead, just like at school.
His action definitely catches you off guard and you look at him slightly surprised, but Aemond doesn't give it that much importance, as if it was already a natural and routine thing between both of you, like a gesture of encouragement, to then take you by the hand together with him to the entrance of his house.
His house is nice and big, with a beautiful garden, so when you open the door, you see a huge and cozy living room with the dining room visible in the background, where you can make out Aegon's figure and his short silver hair.
Aemond closes the door behind you and you briefly look around, seeing the decorations of the elegant house, such as mirrors, flowers vases and also family photos.
Mostly, you see pictures of young children, which you recognize as Helaena, Aemond, Aegon and his other brother, Daeron.
There are also photos of what you assume is their mother and also a man, who you assume is the father, with Aemond and his siblings as children. But it strikes you that none of the four are smiling, just the mom a little.
There are more current pictures, only of Aemond, Helaena and Aegon smiling next to their mother, with no trace of their father and Daeron.
"He's my younger brother," he takes a single photo of a boy, standing next to you and handing it to you, "Daeron."
And just as you imagined, he's a boy of about fifteen with striking blue eyes and short silver hair, smiling at the camera with a bright face and looking in the background like he's standing in a lake at Honeyholt.
"Helaena was right," you say with a small smile, still inspecting the photo, "He really is the handsomest of the three of you."
"That's not true," he tells you immediately, taking the photo out of your hands and putting it back in its place with a quick, automatic gesture, making you laugh.
"What's up, bro?"
You both hear Aegon's voice and turn around, with the silver-haired man already walking towards you with a bottle of beer in his hand and a huge grin on his face.
"Are you drinking already?" Aemond inquires, "Mom's going to kill you."
"Oh, you know how persuasive I can be," he tells him without wiping off his smile, "Besides, I've already set the table," he points to the dining room, "It's dinner, bro."
"Careful," he warns you but he deliberately ignores him, heading in your direction.
"Y/N!" he exclaims your name smiling, coming over to embrace you, "Welcome to our home."
"Hi Aegon," you smile back at him.
He envelops you in a hug and you reciprocate cordially, instantly the strong smell of beer reaching your nostrils.
"Want one?" he points to the beer in his hand as he pulls away from you.
"I don't think so," Aemond answers him, again intertwining his hand with yours, "Where's mom?"
"In the kitchen with Hel" he points out, "Tell them to hurry, I'm starving," he says in a tone of voice that catches your attention.
But Aemond pulls you forward, starting to leave him behind, with a serious and disapproving look at his brother's attitude.
"It's the beer," he explains to you quietly, "I hate it when he drinks at home. I just hope it doesn't get unbearable later."
"Why?" you ask him, curious.
He shakes his head.
"Aegon is… complicated."
He doesn't say anything else and neither do you, mostly because he leads you toward the kitchen, but curiosity still lingers on that subject.
He gives your hand a gentle squeeze in a supportive gesture that comforts you as you both cross the threshold into the kitchen, where instantly the smell of delicious freshly baked food hits your nostrils.
And the first thing you notice is a silver hair along with a darker one, who you assume must be Aemond's mother.
And immediately your nerves again explode and you feel your heart pounding hard in your chest.
"Hey, Y/N!"
A friendly voice says to you, being Helaena, who is wiping her hands with a clean dish towel and wearing a beautiful blue dress, instantly heading towards you with open arms.
"Hi Hel," you smile back happily, hugging her enthusiastically.
"Oh I'm so happy you're in our home," she says excitedly and warmly without letting go of you, "We've prepared turkey, I hope you like it," she says as she pulls away from you.
"Oh I'm sure it will," you nod at her with a sincere smile, feeling welcomed by the warmth of her welcome.
"Mom."
Aemond's voice momentarily pulls you out of your conversation with Helaena and you turn your head to meet the gaze of Alicent, Aemond's mother.
Instantly you try to control your nerves and keep your composure, remembering his comforting words.
And when Alicent's gaze meets yours, a warm smile forms on his lips, which makes you feel less nervous and conveys a sense of calm. Although the nervousness lingers, you feel a little more secure with his kindness.
Aemond places a comforting hand on your shoulder and steps forward to introduce you.
"This is my girlfriend, Y/N," he points to you with his small smile, "And Y/N, this is my mom, Alicent."
She is a very beautiful woman.
It's the first thing that comes to your mind, noting the dimples in her cheeks and that warm look she has, not being intimidating at all and being rather kind.
Besides the dark green dress she wears is completely beautiful, as well as her accessories. Everything about her radiates elegance and poise.
"A pleasure to finally meet you, my dear," she says, turning to you, "Gosh, I was so excited to meet you. It's so nice of you to come."
And without expecting it, just like Helaena, she too greets you with a hug, taking you completely off guard, causing you to let out a nervous little laugh as you hug her back.
"The pleasure is mine, Mrs. Hightower," you say softly, feeling slightly overwhelmed by her kindness and warmth.
"Please call me Alicent," she says as she pulls away from you.
Before all this you asked Aemond what to call her, just for the heck of it and to feel less nervous and he told you 'Hightower', the last name of her father.
So you assume that Aemond's father is not someone who gets mentioned much around here. In the family photos he is present in only one picture. And Aemond doesn't talk about him either.
And he watches with a small smile at the interaction between you and his mother, feeling relieved that things are going well so far.
"Please go and take your seats. Dinner will be served soon," she says to Aemond and you.
"Do you need help?" he asks her.
"I'm already doing it myself," Hel says, "Don't worry, little brother."
"Can you help me with your brother, please," Alicent tells him, with a look of slight concern.
"Of course," he assures her in a gentle tone.
Soon the two of you return to the dining room, the two of you take a seat together with Aegon and Aemond tries to tell him not to overdo it with his drinks, that you are here to enjoy a nice dinner with his family.
But he just makes nonchalant gestures and tells him that everything is fine, to continue drinking, looking at the screen of his phone, waiting for dinner.
Then you don't know how much time passes exactly but Alicent returns very soon along with Helaena with the food, placing the dishes in the center of the table, indicating that all this will start soon.
Aemond places his hand on top of yours underneath the table, giving you every supportive gesture possible, reassuring you at every turn that he can that all will be fine.
Every brush of his fingers against yours conveys reassurance and comfort.
You feel a slight relief as you feel his touch, reminding you that you are not alone at this moment and his presence gives you strength to face any nervousness that may arise during dinner.
And with the food finally served, the silverware begins to clink against the plate glass as everyone begins to enjoy the delicious dinner.
Aemond, like the supposed boyfriend in love with you, is totally attentive to you, asking if you're served this or that, wanting to make sure you're well received and comfortable to make this more bearable.
And you thank him all the way, feeling his mother's gaze on both of you from time to time, without wiping away her warm smile.
"Did you like the food, dears?" she asks generally.
"Oh yes," Helaena says with a look of total complicity, delighting in the food.
"It's delicious, Mom," Aemond tells her later.
"Totally," you corraborate politely, nodding in her direction.
Alicent smiles in satisfaction and then turns her attention to Aegon, who hasn't said anything since everyone started eating.
"How about you, son?" she asks him softly.
"It's fine," he says curtly, taking a huge swig from his bottle of beer.
This definitely gets your attention but Alicent as well as Aemond and Helaena decide not to give it enough attention, as if they're already used to it and don't want to ruin the moment by his behavior.
But you do notice the disapproval in each of their looks, especially the disappointment in Alicent. Though she almost instantly turns her attention away from Aegon to Aemond and you.
"So, how long have you two been dating exactly?" she asks curiously and without losing the kindness in her gaze and tone.
"A month," Aemond replies without hesitation at your side, resting one of his arms on the back of your chair.
And Alicent shakes his head with a small smile on his lips.
"And I still can't believe he kept you hidden from me, Y/N."
You smile in his direction, trying not to let your nerves give you away, as Aemond again interjects, with a soft look.
"We didn't want to rush things."
"I told him not to take too long to tell you," Helaena says as well, pointing at Aemond as she watches her mother.
"But he didn't tell me anything, Aegon did," Alicent says in amusement.
"Oh come on, I was going to tell you anyway," Aemond tries to justify himself.
"Oh you were going to?" Hel questions him.
"You want to turn her against me."
"I'm just telling the truth, little brother."
This causes Alicent to laugh softly and his gaze meets yours, where you laugh softly too, as the fight between Aemond and Hel continues. But this causes you to begin to feel comfortable and more at ease with the whole situation.
The only thing at the table that is completely serious is Aegon, who continues to concentrate on his drink and the food in front of him.
His reserved attitude contrasts with the energy you have with Aemond, his mother and sister, but they don't really give him much attention and everyone continues to enjoy the delicious food and create topics of conversation.
"So…" Alicent begins to speak, watching you with her warm gaze, "What are your college plans, sweetie?"
Oh my God.
Okay, it's happening.
You think as you slowly start to panic, but quickly get yourself under control, settling back in your seat.
"You're all graduating soon," she points to her kids with a small smile.
And you're about to speak but someone else does first.
"Which wouldn't be the case if Aegon hadn't repeated year… twice," Hel says condescendingly, pouring herself more food in a casual gesture.
"Helaena," Alicent reprimands her in a soft tone.
"Don't start with me."
Aegon's voice finally makes itself heard in a long time, speaking in a cold, curt tone, not even observing his sister, focused on his food.
"Just saying," Helaena says also with a pout in his direction.
"Then speak for yourself. You're a year behind too."
"Ugh," she sighs, "You talk like you don't know what happened."
"That's enough," Alicent says calmly, watching you both with a look of silent warning.
The atmosphere tenses slightly and all is silent for a moment, as you notice how Aemond next to you only runs a hand over his chin and you only hear the clink of silverware clattering against glass plates.
Alicent then turns his gaze to you and there you decide to speak, hoping to restore comfort to the atmosphere.
"Well, actually, I've applied to Oldtown University," you say with a soft smile, controlling your nerves, "I'm planning on getting into law school."
Surprise flashes across Alicent's face, as you briefly feel Aemond watching you beside you.
"Oh, wow," she nods slowly, her expression one of amazement, "What a coincidence, that's the same college Aemond wants to go to."
Aemond nods with a small smile, completely keeping up appearances.
"Yes," he confirms, "In fact it's perfect for us to go to the same place after graduation."
And just to show more affection with you, he places his hand and yours intertwined on top of the table, watching you with that 'love' he seeks to convey in these moments in front of his mother.
And Alicent watches you both with her soft smile, but is still intrigued by you.
"And why that choice? Law is something you always wanted to study?" she asks you, with genuine interest in her voice.
You try not to focus too much on the way Aemond's thumb begins to gently caress the skin on the back of your hand, which at the same time also reassures you.
And you nod in Alicent's direction.
"Yes, it's something I've always been interested in. It's a very heavy degree with very dense material, but it's very interesting and it's long been what I've decided for myself."
Alicent nods in your direction, listening to you intently and looking completely interested.
"And I guess at Oldtown it's a great opportunity to want to study law."
"Oh yes," you say eagerly, "Oldtown has one of the best faculties with very capable professors and all the material you need. It's certainly a great opportunity."
"But I also think that getting to study at such an in-demand university with few places in that major can be difficult," she tells you corroborating in conversation.
"Yeah, that's the bad thing, but…" you shrug, "I'm hopeful."
You watch subtly beside you, focusing for a moment on Aemond, speaking with that complicit tone, as of course he doesn't forget that the reason you're here doing this is precisely because of Oldtown.
He knows that all too well too.
"And your parents are supportive of your decision to study law?"
Slight surprise passes across your face, definitely not expecting that question, but you quickly manage to soften your face, though you still remain silent for a moment.
You try to hide any trace of bewilderment as you search for a suitable answer. And it is Alicent's same warm gaze that encourages you to respond.
"Uh… yes, my father is just as excited as I am about this possible opportunity," you reply with a small smile, being honest, "He has always supported me in all my decisions."
You respond without saying anything else and with sincerity, not mentioning anything about your mother.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that," he nods at you and smiles warmly, "And what about your mother, dear?" she asks with genuine curiosity.
Inevitably your whole body tenses at that moment. And an uncomfortable feeling settles in the pit of your stomach as you think again about how to respond.
You honestly didn't expect the conversation to get to this point, about how even after talking only about your father, you're still being asked about your mother.
And for a moment, you don't know what to say or what to do, but you finally decide to react after everything falls into an awkward silence and they begin to look at you slightly confused by your lack of response.
Until you decide to be honest.
"Well, I-I…" you bite your lips, "I don't actually live with her," you admit in a soft voice, avoiding eye contact for a moment, "And I haven't seen her since I was six."
Slight concern crosses Alicent's face, instantly watching you in regret.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie," she says sincerely, embarrassed to have caused you discomfort, "I had no idea. I apologize."
You're about to tell her it's okay, that it's no problem because she didn't know, that it's no big deal, but you don't even get a chance to speak when sudden laughter is heard throughout the dining room.
The tension in the air dissipates in that instant as everyone turns to the source of the laughter, Aegon.
He is visibly drunk, but still conscious enough to know what is going on around him and that is what is alarming.
Alicent, Helaena and Aegon's faces fill with bewilderment and disapproval, except for yours, as you watch Aegon in confusion, not quite understanding what is going on.
"Aegon," Alicent calls to him now truly annoyed, watching him seriously and reproachfully.
But Aegon barely manages to contain his laughter as he apologizes between laughs.
"Sorry, I couldn't help it," he mutters, his tone full of amusement and insolence.
Then Aemond at your side watches him completely serious, his jaw clenched and his gaze dark, holding back his fury at his reaction after you shared a very intimate and sensitive piece of information to you.
And Aegon laughs at it because of his own stupidity? Of course he's not going to allow that.
"What's so funny?" he inquires, expectant and about to explode.
Aegon straightens in his chair, a smirk on his face.
"Oh, nothing," he replies mockingly, "I just think she and you are perfect for each other. Apparently, we're not the only ones who have parental issues, are we?"
He asks watching his mother and sister, which makes Alicent feel even more tense, watching you worried and apologetic about the little show her eldest son is putting on.
"That's enough," she reprimands him firmly.
But Aegon seems determined to move on and turns to you again with a gesture of camaraderie, ignoring his mother's words and his brother's attitude.
"Don't worry, Y/N," he tells you with a crooked smile, "You can talk about it here and no one will judge you. All of us would understand, wouldn't we? We who wouldn't know about the subject of fucking neglectful parents with their kids."
Aemond's gaze becomes even more intense and his jaw tighter, watching his brother as if he could throw daggers at him with his eye.
"Shut the fuck up," he orders him, controlling himself as much as he can at that moment.
"Aemond," Alicent calls out to him worriedly.
"Or what?" Aegon challenges him, "She better know what she's getting herself into once and for all. With our fucking family traumatized by her own father who never cared about us."
"I said shut the fuck up," Aemond demands of him rising from his chair, causing everyone at the table to become alarmed.
Alicent rises at about the same time he does, and Helaena rises next, alert and worried, while you and Aegon continue to sit, he still unconcerned and you… because you don't even know how to feel about it.
The tension is too much, this is all unexpected and it's all happening too fast. And as if things couldn't get any worse, Aegon continues to talk and drink more.
"I'm just saying you two are the perfect match," he continues, his tone increasingly amused, "She doesn't have a mom and you don't have a dad, bro. Awesome, isn't it?"
Then it all happens too fast.
Aemond advances towards Aegon with a furious determination on his face that puts everyone at the table on alert, reaches towards him and grabs him hard by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to get up.
"Aemond!"
Alicent and Helaena immediately intervene, rushing towards them to stop them, but Aegon doesn't even have time to react before he finds himself on his feet, with Aemond holding him tightly.
"Stop it, Aemond!" exclaims Alicent, his tone full of authority and concern.
You finally rise from your seat as well, alert and worried, not knowing exactly what to do or what to say, feeling your pulse racing.
Then Aegon reacts as well, his face transforming into one of rage, placing his hands on top of his brother's.
"Get your fucking hands off me," he manages to say with difficulty.
"I told you to shut the fuck up or didn't I?"
"Oh and now you're going to hit me? Huh?" he asks, punching him in the chest with his hands, "You're going to hit me? And for what? For telling the truth?"
"What the fuck is wrong with you huh!? You fucking cunt," Aemond hits him back in the chest.
"Let go of me, you fucking asshole!"
"That's enough!" Alicent intervenes again, her voice firm and full of authority, "Aemond, let go right now!" she orders, furious, implying that she won't repeat it a fourth time.
The tension in the room seems to increase with each passing moment, as you hold your breath, watching Aemond worriedly, as does Helaena.
Aemond hesitates for a moment, glaring at his brother with determination, until he finally releases him with a tug, pulling away from him still watching him in warning and utter annoyance.
Aegon straightens, rubbing his neck as he glares at his brother resentfully.
"I don't need this shit. Enjoy your fucking dinner," he says grumpily, grabbing his bottle of beer and heading for the stairs, not giving anyone a glance.
At least your pulse starts to calm down when you see how it's finally all over, but you still watch Aemond worriedly.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Alicent turns to you sorrowfully, averting your gaze to her, "What a shame."
"No, no, don't worry…
You start to say in a soft tone when Aemond's serious but definitely kinder voice makes itself heard in your direction.
"I'll wait outside."
The three of you watch him silently and watch as with nonchalant gestures he takes his car keys from his front pocket and with his face still contained in fury, heads out of the house.
With a lump in your throat, you turn to Alicent and Helaena, feeling the weight of tension still hanging in the air even so.
"Thank you so much for dinner. It was nice to meet you," you say to Alicent, trying to sound as calm, gentle and kind as possible.
Alicent smiles sadly back at you, still with her saddened and troubled face.
"It was lovely to meet you and have you come, honey," she tells you sincerely, "Still I'm so sorry. It wasn't my plan for dinner to end like this."
"I totally understand, don't worry," you say with a small smile, "We can always do it again."
You say and immediately regret it, but manage to soften your face in time.
This was supposed to be the only time you would do this, but you feel you owe it to her, to Alicent, as she prepared a delicious dinner with great care. She seemed so excited and happy about everything, especially about you coming that it is such a shame that this happened.
More than anything else that's why you say so.
"Of course," she nods to you, kindly and cordially.
You bid her goodbye with a gentle hug, then embrace Helaena as well, conveying your silent support through the simple gesture.
"If you need to talk, we can do it at school," she murmurs in your ear before releasing you.
"Sure," you promise, returning the hug gratefully.
You take one last look at both of them and head out of the house. And once outside, you feel a shiver run down your spine as you face the cool night air.
And there you see him, in the middle of the night silence and at the edge of the street, leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette with an almost absent gesture, looking thoughtful but also still a little upset about what happened.
You watch as he lets the smoke go between his parted lips and you, letting out a long breath, head towards him.
When he looks back at you, you too just watch him silently and he wordlessly opens the driver's door with a soft squeak and gets in the car, so you follow after him, feeling the weight of silence between you.
You too slide into the passenger seat and close the door, where soon the two of you find yourselves moving through the quiet streets of the city, the music on the radio playing at a low volume in the background.
And that's the only sound between you, the music, and even then it's a little uncomfortable.
You bite the inside of your cheek, struggling to find the right words as the tension lingers, but you don't even know what to say. What are you supposed to say when that happened?
But finally it's Aemond who breaks the silence.
"I hope you enjoyed the show," he murmurs, not taking his eye off the road.
You are momentarily speechless, not knowing what to say at that, not even finding the right words in your mind. Then you let out a low sigh, understanding how he must be feeling.
You mean… you went to meet his mother, it was a family dinner, everything was going well and to suddenly have it all end like that with very personal confessions that you had no idea about… it must be completely frustrating for him that you witnessed that.
"Are you okay?" you ask him in a low, soft tone, watching him intently, concerned and understanding.
He lets out a long breath, pursing his lips as he considers your answer, saying nothing for a moment. But when he finally does, he says it in a voice laden with weariness, regret and seriousness.
"I'm not even upset that Aegon said all that… he… he's right," he says resentfully, "I'm upset that you had to witness it."
The weight of his words falls on you, sensing Aemond's seriousness and frustration in his words. You watch his serious and weary face, the fury he is still holding back.
And for a moment, you look like you're not going to say anything, but after biting your lips, you finally speak.
"You don't have to worry about me," you tell him in a soft voice, "After all, he was right about what he said about my mother too," you add, seeking to offer some comfort, "I don't even remember her, you know? And honestly… it doesn't affect me nor do I care."
If your words caused anything in him, he doesn't show it, as he continues with his eye focused on the road.
But inside, he can't help but feel a little surprised and amazed at your ability to accept those circumstances with such calm and determination compared to him.
And finally he nods, understanding the truth of your words.
"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper.
You watch him with a soft and… slightly thoughtful gaze, feeling the tension between the two of you finally begin to fade, resulting in a warm and pleasant atmosphere for the two of you, as usual.
And unexpectedly for him, you take his free hand gently and intertwine your fingers with his, offering a small gesture of support amidst still the frustration he is feeling.
"I don't," you confess softly.
You don't say anything else and neither does he, hoping you can put this behind you. And all along the way, he keeps gently stroking the back of your hand with his thumb.
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You wait anxiously, moving your foot repeatedly up and down, glancing from time to time at your surroundings and also at the screen of your phone, wanting to keep the time very much in mind.
The gentle morning breeze caresses your face, with the sun painting golden hues in the morning sky and listening in the background to the birds singing, but also all the movement of the soccer team training early at this hour from the field.
Everything seems to be calm, except for your racing heartbeat, where you avoid biting your nails and simply bite your lips in a nervous gesture, as well as the inside of your cheek.
Then you finally see Aemond approaching with his backpack on his shoulder and his face soft.
"Hey," he says softly, taking a seat in front of you, taking off his backpack and watching you carefully, "What's up? Is everything okay?"
Out of nerves, your whole body tenses and you avoid stuttering as you speak, stirring in your seat.
"Yeah, yeah, just…" you lower your gaze, playing with your fingers, "I just want to talk to you about something."
Aemond nods, giving you his full attention.
"Well? What is it?" he asks you warmly, not wanting to put pressure on you as he notices all the tension that is invading you at the moment.
But he honestly starts to worry seeing you that way.
And you swallow hard, with your gaze lowered, feeling the need to just let it out and nothing more, having that urge so you don't keep torturing yourself with your destructive thoughts.
"I was thinking that… maybe…" you let out a sigh, "Maybe we should stop this," you mutter, your voice barely a whisper.
And Aemond only watches you more intently, beginning to look alert, furrowing his brows in confusion.
"Stop what?"
You bite the inside of your cheek hard, completely flustered.
"Our fake relationship," you reply cautiously, watching him intently and with some concern.
"What?" he immediately queries you, "I-I don't-I don't understand."
"I think we've both accomplished what we wanted to… oh well, almost everything," you tell him knowingly, "But we've already put on a good show in front of the whole school, Alys is upset enough, and the cheating thing is behind us. We should stop."
You explain but in the middle of all your explanation, Aemond only frowns more, listening to you completely attentive, watching you surprised and incredulous.
"And the trip to Dragonstone?" he inquires you, with a serious and alert look, "That trip is key, it would be great for both of us to go together, as a couple."
You try to remain calm, but your heart is pounding and your nerves are getting the better of you.
"Yes, I know, but… do we really need to keep pretending?" you ask, "You've already saved your reputation, remember?"
Aemond shakes his head firmly, his jaw tense with mounting frustration.
"It's still not enough," he tells you seriously, "At least wait until after the trip."
"Aemond, I don't see why we should wait until then," you mutter, unsure, "We can finish everything now."
Aemond's expression hardens, his jaw tense with frustration as he tries to understand you.
"Y/N, the trip is in the contract," he tells you firmly, "And we agreed to finish everything until graduation."
You exhale, feeling the overwhelming weight of the situation that you didn't expect was going to get this bad the moment you decided to do this.
"I know, but I don't see the point of this anymore."
He becomes more confused, shaking his head, looking at you confused and now completely frustrated.
"What-what's wrong?" he asks you in a soft but urgent voice, attentive, "Did something happen?" he asks you concerned and interested, "Did something happen that I still don't know about?"
Oh God.
Fear grips you as you struggle to keep your composure and not let your nerves get the better of you.
"Or is this because of the dinner thing? And because of Alys' pranks?" he asks you worriedly, "If it's that, tell me. I-I'll find a way to fix it. You won't have to go to dinner at my house again and I'm sure I can talk to Alys."
"No, no… I-I…" you sigh, "It's not that-
He shrugs, looking at you confused and frustrated.
"Then what is it?"
Your heart pounds as you struggle to keep your composure in front of him.
Your words get stuck in your throat, enduring Aemond's still serious, worried and frustrated look on you, waiting for an explanation. But the feeling of panic grows in your chest and you resign yourself completely.
"Nothing, forget it," you say in a whisper, lowering your gaze.
You stand up and gather your things, slinging your backpack over your shoulder, just as Aemond sighs and looks more frustrated.
"Y/N," he calls your name in a tired gesture.
But you don't heed him, just focus on getting away from him,
"Y/N, please stop," he says to you in a soft but urgent voice.
But you don't stop, you can't.
How could you do it and how could you tell him that the real reason you decided to bring this up to your fake boyfriend is because maybe you are actually falling in love with him and the feeling is getting more and more intense, and you can't help it?
You just can't.
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freedomfireflies · 11 months
Text
Mine*
Summary: Your mafia boss boyfriend, Harry, has been a little neglectful of his most prized possession.
But he's found the perfect way to make it right.
Word Count: 3.6k
*Contains Mature and Explicit content, so please only consume what you feel comfortable with!💞*
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“So, what did he say?”
“What do you think he said? Gave me some bullshit excuse about not knowing the rule and tried to save his own ass.”
Harry tsks as he throws an arm over the back of the sofa. “Fucking pathetic. They’re all the same.”
“All of ’em,” Asher agrees with a nod. “But I had a couple of the guys tail him, and he led us straight back to the warehouse.”
“Good. Think it’s time we pay him a little visit,” Harry decides before his eyes trail over to where you still stand in the kitchen.
You usually try to keep your distance when Harry’s in one of his meetings. And perhaps this isn’t exactly an official meeting per se, seeing as it’s taking place in your living room. But nevertheless, you’re hesitant to interfere.
Besides, you’re more than content to just watch when he’s in his element like this. Like to watch the way his expression will grow dark, and his voice will take on a certain edge. The way he’ll speak about death as if recalling the weather. The way he’ll drop threats as if they were weightless.
He can be quite intimidating when he wants to be. Most of the men that work for him won’t even make eye-contact with him. And you’re almost certain a few of them have even pissed themselves on occasion.
Asher is about the only one who doesn’t flinch when Harry enters a room. Perhaps that’s the result of their lifelong friendship, or perhaps it’s because he knows he’s Harry’s right-hand man. 
Either way, Asher is the only man on the team that Harry truly trusts. Which is probably why he was invited to your home this evening.
Of course, Harry claimed he merely wanted to relax and catch-up. But you knew better. 
The only way to get Harry Styles to actually unwind and relax is by fucking him.
You fidget by the fridge as you’re forced under his cool stare, a tad apprehensive about why you’ve garnered his attention. You hope you haven’t disturbed their conversation, although you do wish he’d wrap it up.
He’s hardly been home the past couple of weeks. You understand why, of course. A threat was made to the company that Harry needed to eliminate. And you’d never stand in the way of his work.
But…you miss him. Miss getting to be near him. And maybe you wouldn’t as much if he actually allowed you to visit him at his office. But he declared it was too unsafe. He doesn’t like when other men look at you. Doesn’t appreciate when the people that he pays get the nerve to gawk at what’s his.
Although, truthfully, you think it’s rather cute how overprotective he gets.
Harry smirks as he motions you forward, seemingly amused. “Come here, sugar. You’re too far.”
Relieved to know he’s not upset, you let out a deep breath and obey his command, feet padding across the hardwood floor to bring you closer to where they reside.
You smile a shy greeting at Asher, who offers an entertained grin of his own before Harry is looping his outstretched arm around your waist and placing you on his lap.
“There,” he declares as his chin slips over your shoulder. “S’much better, isn’t it?”
You nod, face warming and hands gathering in front of you.
You’re not sure why you’ve gone so quiet. So still. Something feels…off. Incomplete, in a sense. 
Sure, the warmth of his body is doing wonders for this…lost feeling in your head, but it still doesn’t feel like it's…enough.
However, Harry can read you like a book. Knows what each nervous habit and tic means. Knows when you’re feeling anxious, nervous, shy.
Submissive.
And he knows exactly how to fix it.
“Was just telling Asher here about sending our good friend Sean a little message,” Harry murmurs, subtly pulling you back into his chest. “M’getting so fucking tired of playing all these games. Tired of being kept…from what’s most important.”
His fingers begin to tap against your thigh, maybe in an attempt to call your attention to him, but either way…it makes your thighs squeeze a bit closer together.
You feel him smile into your neck. “Are you tired, too, mama?” he hums, in that low tone of voice he knows makes you weak. “Tired of waiting for me? Tired of needing me to make it better?”
Despite yourself, your lashes flutter as you sink even further into his hold. Needing to be encompassed by him. Cocooned by his smell, and his touch, and his intentions.
You’re vaguely aware of the way he’s begun toying with your dress, gently guiding the fabric further up your legs. Giving you enough time to realize. To stop him if that’s what you want.
And maybe you should want to stop him. Should be more concerned about poor Asher, forced to watch from his chair a few feet away. But right now…right now it feels necessary. Like if you stop him…you’ll die.
“So unfair. Being kept from you,” Harry whispers, pressing his lips to the skin just below your ear. “So fucking unfair…knowing that you’re waiting here for me. Like a good girl. Laid out in our bed…needing me to take care of you.”
The cool air feels sinful against your bare thighs, but you welcome it. Welcome the chill that travels down your spine as your cunt grows a bit needier.
Despite yourself, you begin to squirm over his lap, rather desperate for some friction. For him.
And he chuckles darkly at your attempt, the one arm on your hip tightening ever-so-slightly to prevent a second effort. “And I haven’t been, have I? Haven’t been taking care of you the way you need. The way you deserve. Huh, sugar?”
You’re quick to shake your head, longing to appease him. Make him happy. Give him whatever he wants. An answer, your body, your time.
He has it. It’s his.
His hands find their way to your underwear. He’s gentle. Tame. Innocently grazing his finger over the front of your soaked panties as he hums with contentment.
“Oh, my poor little girl,” he coos, nuzzling his nose into your cheek. “Bet it hurts, doesn’t it? Bet you feel so fucking empty…don’t you, mama?”
Another quick nod, your eyes growing heavy as you rest back against his shoulder, breaths quick and light.
He adds a bit more pressure. Enough to make you choke on a whimper as you steel yourself against his chest. You grasp onto his wrist, maybe in an attempt to warn him, or maybe in an attempt to just…touch him. Be a part of it. But either way, you don’t let go.
“What?” he asks gently, dancing a few innocent kisses down the curve of your neck. “What, sugar? What do you need?”
And you want to tell him. You do. But…you can’t speak. You couldn’t really speak before, either, but now…now it’s impossible.
Instead, you sigh. You sigh and you squeeze his arm and you hope that he understands.
Which he does. 
He always understands you.
“Come on, honey. Tell me,” he pushes, the determined strokes growing a bit more powerful. “Need me to make it better?”
You swallow thickly, a soft whine melting from between your lips as you slowly grind into his hand.
But that small voice inside your head reminding you that you aren’t capable of making a coherent decision pipes up. 
Harry doesn’t share. He never has, he never will. You don’t imagine he’d appreciate Asher bearing witness to such a sight, and you have to wonder if Harry even remembers the poor man is even still in the room.
Your head rolls, eyes finding Asher’s figure, still seated in his chair. You’re hoping to call attention to him, so Harry is forced to recall his presence.
And it works, Harry looking over as well while Asher murmurs, “Hi, sweetheart.”
Your cheeks heat up as you nestle further back into Harry’s chest.
However, instead of growing annoyed, Harry simply smiles. “Oh, sweet girl. Are you worried about him?”
You nod once, looking back up at your rather cocky boyfriend.
In return, he tsks soothingly, hand coming up to brush down your cheek. “You don’t have to worry about Asher, mama. He doesn’t mind. Does he?”
“Not at all,” Asher replies calmly, almost as if unaffected by the scandalous act before him. “What the boss man wants…the boss man gets.”
And for some reason, knowing the handsome second in command is watching you makes your mind grow that much fuzzier. As if fully surrendering to that floating feeling trying to trap you.
Once Harry sees that you’ve fully succumbed to your subspace, he hums again, and presses a kiss to your temple. “It’s okay, sugar. M’gonna take care of you. I’ve got you, all right?”
You don’t have the strength to nod, instead making a rather needy noise as you tug on his arm and turn to bury your face in his neck.
 Another chuckle emits from his chest, reverberating across your back as he readjusts in his seat to get started.
First, he takes hold of the pathetic excuse for underwear you slipped on and begins dragging them down your thighs. Then, after eagerly flicking them free from your ankles, he tosses them toward his partner. “Hold these for me, yeah?”
Asher catches them midair, nodding his understanding as you suck in a sharp breath. 
And you can’t help but squirm, now growing hot under the realization of your nakedness to the room.
But you appreciate the way both men attempt to make you feel safe. Asher doesn’t stare, instead relaxing in his seat as if this were an everyday occurrence for him. Patiently waiting for Harry’s next instruction. Obediently waiting for him to do what he needs to do.
And Harry does what he always does. He takes care of you. Whispers things in your ear like, “Shh. That’s it, there’s my sweet girl. I’ve got you, honey. Just gonna have a little taste, yeah?”
It’s an out-of-body experience. It’s like you’re here…but you’re not. You know he’s touching you but that’s all you know. It’s all you want.
He takes your legs in each hand before pulling you further open, resting your thighs on the outsides of his. 
You’re good and truly spread now, allowing even more of the cool air to travel its way to your aching cunt.
And you shiver when you feel it, lashes falling shut as you take a deep breath in. Harry’s familiar cologne calming your nerves almost instantly.
“There you go,” he praises gently, smoothing his palms along your skin. “That’s it. Just relax for me, okay? Relax…”
So you do. You release each inhibition and just…let him. Let him do whatever, take whatever, have whatever he wants.
When his fingers return to your pussy, it’s like magic. Exactly what had been missing, and you jolt at the faint but welcome contact.
He teases you for a moment, dragging his touch up and down, through and over. Never in. Never hard. 
Never enough.
And you whimper every time he leaves your swollen clit, wishing more than anything that he would merely give you what he knows you need.
Maybe he’s trying to show off for Asher. Or maybe he just likes having an audience and wants to prolong the experience.
Either way, it almost kills you.
“Please,” you breathe, once again attempting to thrust up into his hand before pouting when he pulls away.
“Please?” he repeats, grip constricting around you. “Please what, hm? What do you need, sweet girl?”
Another displeased huff as you scratch your nails down his tattooed skin, pressing deep into the ink as if hoping to see it bleed.
The fucker has the nerve to laugh. “S’not an answer, is it, mama?”
You’re growing impatient, half a mind to shove his hand away and do it yourself. Which you don’t think he’d mind.
No, he doesn’t like when you touch yourself. But that’s only if you don’t ask permission. As long as you ask him first and allow him to either see it or hear it…he doesn’t mind.
“Touch me,” you whisper, so faintly, you’re almost sure he didn’t hear.
And you’re proven correct when he dips down and murmurs, “Again.”
“Touch me,” you repeat, a little bit louder, but still airy. “Please, Har…please touch me.”
Another tsk. A deliberating noise as if debating whether or not to agree. “I don’t know. S’kind of in the middle of something. Maybe I should finish my meeting first, hm? Think you can sit here and wait for me?”
And you groan. Because no. No, you can’t possibly wait. Not anymore than you already have, and he’s so cruel. So fucking cruel to do this to you.
“You can,” he decides, ignoring your outraged plea. “You can be good for me. Know you can, sugar. Come on.”
With that, he leans back against the couch, and turns to Asher, diving once again into their previous discussion.
And you assume that part of Harry’s little game will involve him taking his hand away from you. To actually make you wait until he’s decided it’s your turn.
But you’re more than surprised when he continues his light, feathery touches across your cunt. Playing with your folds and your clit almost mindlessly. 
“Should I send the guys down tomorrow?” Asher asks, fighting a smirk as Harry mulls this over.
“Not yet,” he decides. “No. No, I think we need to make him sweat it out a bit. He knows we’re coming. Let the fucker spin.”
“I’ll have Blake watch him,” Asher replies. “Make sure he doesn’t skip town.”
“Good.”
“You wanna bring him in for questioning?”
Another pause as Harry trails his finger down, teasing your hole before pulling back. “Not yet. Think we need to remind him what happens…when he lies.”
And just as this decision is made, Harry finally concedes to your needs and pushes himself in. All the way to the knuckle as you gasp and writhe over his lap.
It’s not at all subtle, and you’re almost humiliated by how unpoised you’ve become. But you can’t help it. Can’t help any of it. Not the sounds you’re making, not the noises coming from the gentle thrusts of his finger in and out of your pussy.
It’s echoing across the room like music from the record player.
But neither of the men pay it any mind, instead carrying on in conversation as if you’re not even here. As if you’re not dripping down Harry’s hand, soaking his nice trousers.
“You think he’ll lead us to Matthews?” Asher asks next, resting one arm over the back of his chair.
“Maybe. If we do it right,” Harry says, stroking your inner walls with devious intent. Looking for that one spot that unravels you faster than anything else. “But there are ways of making him. If we need to.”
Asher nods. “I’ll call Blake tomorrow. Arrange the trail.”
But you miss Harry’s reply beneath the sound of your own desperate whine, your chest now heaving under the stress of pleasure building within your stomach.
His thumb flicks across your clit before pressing into it, hard and with fervor. He maneuvers it in frantic circles as your pants grow louder. 
You don’t know what to do. How to breathe. No idea how to remain relaxed when he’s doing this to you. When he’s so determined to make you cum in front of his guest.
“—wouldn’t matter then. He knows. They all fucking know,” Harry is saying to Asher before his lips are pressing back into your cheek. “And I’m not going out there if I don’t have to.”
“That’s fine. You know we’ve got it,” Asher responds. “Would you still like Alec on patrol?”
“I don’t know,” Harry admits before a second finger begins easing into you. “I don’t like the way he looks at her.”
Asher’s head tilts. “Was he looking at her?”
“He was fucking thinking about it,” Harry scoffs, the hand on your hip tightening. “And if I can’t be here with her, I need to know she’s safe.”
“I can send a few more guys over. Make sure there’s someone at each post.”
“No. I don’t want anyone else watching her but me,” Harry grunts. “Fucking bring her with me before I let someone else in.”
You sigh at this. You know he worries about your safety and care more than anything else. It’s why he’s gone so often. He wants to keep you hidden away in the apartment. Out of sight from his men, and his job, and his…well, enemies.
You understand it, you suppose.
Not that it makes it any easier.
The coil in your belly tightens as he brings his other set of fingers into play. Now, both hands are devoted to you. One making sure to fill you and stretch you just the way you need, while the other plays with your clit like you’re nothing but a toy.
“We can find a safe house in Seattle,” Asher offers. “A place to keep her if you need to bring her along.”
“Maybe,” Harry murmurs, his chest flush with your back as if trying to push himself through you. Consume you. “But if they know she’s there—”
“They won’t,” Asher interrupts, almost resolutely. “They’re not gonna fucking touch her. I promise.”
“No,” Harry agrees, growling the word in your ear as you clench around his fingers and gasp. “No. They’re not. Not gonna use her…to get to me. Not gonna fucking take…the only good thing I have. Not gonna take…what’s mine.”
The energy has turned dark. Angry. Now he’s not trying to tease. Now he’s trying to own you. Remind you who you are. Who you belong to. 
The explosion of your orgasm is racing toward you, hurtling so fast, it makes your��lungs ache.
He needs you to cum more than you need it. Needs to know that your body only bends for him. That your pleasure is his.
That you are his.
Even if you tell him every day. Even if he knows you’d never look at anybody else the way you look at him.
He needs to feel it. Needs to understand that he’s not gonna lose you the way he loses everything else.
And one of the ways he understands this…is by making you cum so many times that you don’t know anything else but him.
“Almost there, aren’t you?” you hear him whisper, his teeth finding your earlobe as he tugs.
“Yes,” you sigh, so pitifully wrecked that you can hardly speak. “Yes. Wanna cum for you. Please…”
“I know,” he hums. “I know, sweet girl. And you will. Gonna cum all over my fucking hand, yeah? Gonna let me taste how much you missed me?”
You give him nothing more than a zealous nod as you begin to squirm harder over his thighs, seeing that blissful end. 
And when it happens, you just about start crying. It’s so…powerful. And you don’t know why. Maybe it’s because you’ve been feeling so needy today. Maybe it’s because of Asher being here. Maybe it’s because you can feel how angry Harry is.
But it doesn’t matter. It’s everything. So deliciously perfect that you almost don’t want him to stop.
He’s gentle as he rides you through. As he mutters his praises and leans you both back into the couch cushions. As he keeps you trapped between his arms and keeps his lips on your skin. 
“There you go,” he coos, his praises like a symphony in your ear. Warming your body, your heart, your soul. “There she is. Fucking squeezing me, honey. Feels so good, you know that? Fucking missed it. Missed the way you feel.”
You know he did. He tells you all the time how good your body is to him.
And you believe him.
When he delicately takes his hands away from you, you deflate. Whining some at the loss of contact and fullness, nearly praying for him to touch you again.
But he’s got something else in mind. 
He brings the hand that was inside you up to your mouth, soaked fingers trailing across your bottom lip in a silent instruction to open wide.
So, you do. You take his large digits into your mouth, and you suck. You take everything on your tongue as you swirl it around him. As you swallow and let your eyes fall shut in blissful ecstasy.
And as you do, he brings his other hand up to his mouth. Doing exactly the same thing as you both sit there and taste. 
And the sound of him cursing with content at the way you coat his tastebuds is fucking magical. Everything he does is magic to you.
You’ve never felt so happy.
No, you’re still not quite in your right mind, but you don’t even care. Don’t care how far away you feel because you know he’s here to bring you back when you’re ready.
“Good fucking girl,” he practically purrs, palm once again stroking down your cheek. “Did so good for me, mama. So fucking good. My perfect angel. Feel better now, honey? S’that what you needed?”
You smile. “It was certainly a start.”
Harry smiles a bit bigger now, laughing beneath his breath as he drops his hand back down to your aching pussy, cupping it firmly. “A start, huh?”
You nod, a catch in your throat as the intrigue starts to build once again.
Harry hums.
“Then I guess we better finish it.”
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I know this isn't everybody's thing, but if you guys would be okay with me maybe doing a part two...I kind of love this Harry? 😭
Next Part:
~ Ours* (Pt. 2)
~ Full Mine Masterlist
~ Other Harry Blurbs
~ Full Masterlist
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ohraicodoll · 1 year
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Joel Miller x f!Reader The Last of Us 6.6k Words/ 3rd POV Feral Reader Masterlist Summary: She never paid attention to the newcomers when they joined Jackson until one of them begins to get close to Joel. Warning: Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Violence. Sexual Content. 18+ Minors DNI
She didn’t care when Jackson got new people. She wasn’t one of the regulars that crowded around the entrance, watching patrol bring them through, so similar to how they joined. No, she didn’t care because the rest of Jackson didn’t matter, just the two people she currently lived with. If it didn’t have to do with Joel and Ellie, she didn’t care. So it was at least a month before she met Harper, when she was added to their patrol duty. 
The other women in town, the ones that frequently fawned over Joel Miller, were different from his companion and she knew that. Her insecurity frequently reminded her that she didn’t belong in Jackson with these women that still took the time to dress up and do their hair. But she had seen Joel downright ignore their flirting enough times, had heard him reassure her that wasn’t the type he was interested in. Someone to watch his back. With teeth, he had said. Harper had teeth. She was a good shot, wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, and never complained about the work. She got along well with Maria, with everyone really, able to get them to talk about their interests and lives easily and seemed like an open book. Harper helped with the horses and in the food hall and knew how to cook and how to clean a rifle properly. And to her dismay, as she watched the patrol party enter the gates where she definitely wasn’t waiting for the man she lived with, Harper could make Joel smile. Not a smirk or a condescending tilt of the lips, but an actual smile. She watched them dismount from the horses and the woman laughed at something Joel said, his lips curving into a grin, and her heart dropped in her stomach. Because she wasn’t sure the man had ever smiled like that around her. Easy and charming, relaxed. Suddenly she was the old version of herself, anxious and unsure, insecure in her own skin and embarrassed. All her faults and problems blared in her head alongside the echo of the threat hanging over her head. Assimilate or get kicked out of Jackson. She was on her last strike after three rough months of living there while this woman had shown up and fit in better than she ever could after only a month. Her nails dug into her thigh sharply, the small hints of pain trying to keep her grounded. She’d almost convinced herself to turn around and walk home, leave before Joel could see her standing there with all her defects, but then his eyes met hers. And if she didn’t feel awful enough, his smile dimmed a bit, became unsure and almost bashful. Like he didn’t want her to see it. She wondered if Harper had noticed his eyes were more hazel than brown when he was in a good mood. They both walked over to her and she stood there, stiff and stabbing into her own skin, wanting to bolt. Harper turned to her, light hair catching the sun and blue eyes glistening. Perfect and still pretty even after the world went to shit while she was very aware she hadn’t brushed her hair in three days. “Oh hi, I don’t think we’ve officially met,” she smiled sweetly, adjusting the rifle on her back and the bandana around her neck. Joel cleared his throat, nodding towards her and ignoring the furrowed brow that was permanently on her face around strangers, “Harper, this is Red. Red, Harper.” “I’ve heard so much about you. Red’s such an interesting name,” she smiled with a light chuckle though it wasn’t as wide as the one that had been aimed at Joel, her eyes roaming over her. Taking her measure. She only frowned and ignored her eye contact, staring at Joel’s shoulder instead. “It’s not my name,” the words were quiet but raspy, a growl. Harper’s smile tightened in the corner of her eye. The silence weighed between them, stifling, and Joel cleared his throat, “Harper happens to be from Austin. We frequented some of the same spots surprisingly.” The words were almost an explanation or an apology, or an excuse. She didn’t reply, eyes still solely focused on his shoulder and avoiding looking at either of them. Small talk was hard on most occasions but this seemed impossible. She wasn’t sure how she should reply to that. Congrats? Good job finding another person you could easily talk to besides me? She chewed the inside of her lip, feeling uncomfortable and desperately wanting to run, words stuck until she nodded and spit out, “I’ll see you at the house later.” His brow had furrowed when she swiveled on her heel and started walking down the street, rigid and feeling the small welts of blood seeping into her jeans from her nails. ___________________ It wasn’t long before she started seeing Harper everywhere and she grit her teeth every time. 
When she walked into the bar, the location on her list of places to search for Ellie, she found Joel and Tommy chatting with the woman at the bar top. She was talking rapidly, a smile on her face and hands waving as she told some story. A hand talker. Tommy was behind the bar, leaning on it and seeming enraptured by the conversation while Joel was standing with his elbow resting on the counter, body fully turned to face Harper. All three chuckled at something and she watched as her hand landed on Joel’s arm, staying there a few seconds too long before sliding off. Too lingering to be innocent. She wanted to snap her teeth at her, go up to them and put her hand on his back or in his belt loops, a move he’d done so often to her. Push him against the countertop and take his mouth with hers or even straight grab Harper’s perfect hair and slam her face against the table. A million images flashed through her head only to come to a halt at remembering her predicament. Joel’s urges to try to join the community or risk getting kicked out. She knew she was a fine thread away from getting booted. One wrong step out the door and probably bashing in perfect new girl Harper’s face would do the trick faster than she could blink. So instead she pivoted, snarl in her throat, and walked out the bar. Harper became a regular on Joel’s shift. She only worked with the newcomer a couple times. She was good and that irritated her. The woman was a survivor and knew how to handle herself and watch out for others. All the things she usually found lacking in the townspeople and hated, Harper had that and more. She didn’t know what to do with that knowledge and the growing list of the woman’s skills. They’d been scouting out a small location, a couple of cabins a few hours away from Jackson. She’d rode to the far side of them and gotten off, checking the houses for anyone hiding out or seeing if there was anything good to scavenge. When she heard the sound of glass shattering and heavy thumps a few houses down, voices crying out, her heart almost pounded out of her chest. That’s where Joel had been checking. She’d ran fast, bow out, feet carrying her quicker than she’d ever run before on the muddy Spring ground. Previous moments flashed in her mind. Too many close calls. Joel’s blood on her hands from a stab wound. Joel hurt. But the action was already over as she barreled into the room. A Clicker lay bleeding out on the floor, a large hatchet stuck in the fungi petals of its face, mouth in a grotesque scream. Joel was panting on the floor with his back against the corner, pistol in hand unfired, while Harper stood over the infected triumphant. With a grin, she ripped the hatchet from its head and walked over to Joel, offering him a hand. She felt useless. Harper had his back. Teeth. _____________________________ Tommy had finally found her a job she was actually fairly decent at, after being taken off both kitchen and farming duty, but noticing she seemed calmest with animals. People didn’t want to work with her and in her mind that was fine, but in Maria’s it made her a problem. But she liked the dog kennels. They weren’t unlike her. She could understand their wants and needs, their habits and what they deemed their territory. Training them wasn’t easy but it was rewarding and it came with the added benefit that she was around the animals more often than people. She didn’t have to be talkative or put on a mask. They knew hand signs, could read her feelings and what she wanted. It felt comfortable to be with them. Often in the morning she would go and feed the dogs, go over their exercises, walk them in the outside yard they had set aside behind the kennels. Ellie had fallen in love with them as well and sometimes would tag along, was even there when one of the dogs gave birth. She’d been grossed out initially but once the blood and the goo and all the disgusting parts of birth was over and done with she held the small puppies in her hands and helped them find spots to feed. Joel had come a few times, watched them with arms resting on the pen door as they sat in the hay and held the tiny jelly bean puppies. Ellie had grinned, taking over naming duty, and had even held one up forcing Joel to name one. He’d frowned, shrugging at the little brown squirming blob, scratching at his beard, “I don’t know, Brownie?” “Really?” Ellie scoffed, rolling her eyes, “So original. Naming it after its color.” “You named me after my shirt,” she chuckled, raising an eyebrow at the teenager. Those first few days when she hadn’t known how to interact but knew she had to make sure the girl was safe. Unwilling to give any piece of herself, especially her name. So Ellie had formed a piece from the rubble and taken it for herself. Ellie huffed with a sniff, nose turning up, and ignored the dig, “Whatever, Red suited you.” She held the squirming puppies in her lap, watching them seek warmth while holding a small container of sugared ice for the mama to lick and enjoy after pushing out ten little bodies, “Good thing I wasn’t wearing a different colored shirt.” Joel’s eyes were on her and she looked up at him, finding him watching her with the slightest tilt of his lips. She knew he was worried about her, had already been fighting tooth and nail with his brother and his pregnant wife over her position. He was working harder to help her than Ellie who had adjusted quickly. This was the one job inside of Jackson’s walls she was relaxed in and she could feel him taking in the way she seemed at ease. The smile grew, warming. “Did Maggie have the pups?” a familiar voice rang out. The smile vanished and she stiffened.
The kennels had been converted from one of the old stables, the dogs held in old horse stalls on either side of the room. She couldn’t see the woman from her position on the floor, the walls of the stall blocking the view, but she knew it was Harper that had walked in. She came up to Joel’s side, almost touching shoulders, and looked down at her and Ellie with the pups and Maggie. “Oh, hi Red,” Harper’s smile became a bit tighter, head tilting, “I didn’t realize you were the one taking care of her.” She didn’t answer, averting her gaze to Maggie and adjusting the bowl for her to lick. Ellie answered instead, enthusiastically holding the puppy up in her hand, “She takes care of the dogs now! Joel named this one.” The man frowned almost bashfully, shrugging, “It’s Brownie.” Harper laughed and her dimples showed, head quirking as she looked at him, “That’s adorable.” She couldn’t get up and leave with the puppies all around her and both Joel and Harper leaning on the pen door. She was trapped, listening to them chat and laugh and Ellie showing off all the dogs while she sat there and tried to be invisible. She wanted to scream, rage, do something other than be meek and small. It was like every time the woman showed up, the version of her from two decades before took over her skin. The girl who had been shy and timid and didn’t know how to fight back. She wanted to scream at her to do something, say something, snarl at Harper that if she touched Joel one more fucking time she’d break her wrist and shove it down her throat. Instead, she sat there, listening to Ellie talk to her easily and Joel’s soft musings, the three of them getting along better than she ever did. Try. Try. Joel’s pleas haunted her constantly. She was trying. God, was she fucking trying so hard. But this wasn’t an instance like with Grant who had touched her and paid the price or his fucking brother who had sneered in her face and called her a bitch. She could argue those were justified. She could have done worse to them and didn’t. But the problem was Harper hadn’t done anything wrong to her. She hadn’t been mean, she hadn’t touched her, hadn’t done anything but make her feel small in comparison to her presence. There was no reason to fight her, to twist her pretty locks in her fingers and smash her face in until the strands turned red and she was nothing but a cavernous hole. She hated settlement life. She hated the fucking politics of it all, the dance to be respectable. Before, there was no time to worry about feelings or what her and Joel were, how he felt towards her, what her role was in their complicated mess of a relationship. It had moved beyond just sex, but she wasn’t sure what exactly. They’d gone through hell together. Maybe it was that she happened to be there, a place holder to fulfill all he needed while taking care of Ellie, but now he had options. There were other women that could fill that place. Could be a better guardian to Ellie, could take care of Joel, could watch both of their backs. One that didn’t cause problems or that he had to jump to defend or cause Ellie to yell at gawking strangers on her behalf. She tried not to focus on it. Swallowed it down deep in the pit of her stomach and refocused back on the things that mattered, which were caring for Joel and Ellie. 
She tried not to think about it when later that evening when they’d gone to bed he pulled her into his body, hands roaming over her soft belly before gripping her tightly and pushing his hard length against her backside. She tried not to think when his fingers slipped inside of her, pumping in and out as his other hand squeezed her tit and pinched her nipped. Tried not to think if he was pushing into her from behind because he was imagining someone else’s face. The confusion turned to a twisted sort of pain and hurt and rage that needed an outlet. Defiance against her situation. She couldn’t do anything outside the walls of their house and her frustration was tearing her up. She was a fox with its foot caught in a trap, snapping and snarling at whatever she could but unable to do anything. She pulled away, feeling him slip out of her, and shoved him onto his back. Joel let out a small grunt at the hard push, but she didn’t care as she climbed on top of him, watching the small bit of confusion in his eyes. He knew something was off, but didn’t stop her. Let her take what she needed. She had to feel some ounce of control. So she rode him hard, nothing gentle to the way she rose and fell on him, sweat coating her skin and panting. There was no rhythm to it, only primal need and hurt carrying her movements. He sat up, brows furrowed and not keen on the distance of laying back, the angle changing enough she groaned. His hand caressed her neck softly in contrast to her harsh movements and the small tattooed stars on her collarbone he was always infatuated with. Almost as if he was trying to bring that version of her back to herself. But she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to give him an ounce of control over her, show him he could affect her at all. Because that meant someone else had the power to hurt her. Twisting her fingers in his curls tightly, she crushed her lips to his to avoid his searching eyes, swallowing every sound he made from the pleasure of their jutting hips. Her nails scraped along his scalp and into his shoulder hard enough she knew there would be red lines in the morning. He was letting himself be distracted, giving in, snapping his hips into hers equally rough with arms a tight band around her middle and holding her to his chest. They were wrapped around each other. For once there wasn’t the coaxing sound of his urgings as he drew her moans from her usually quiet throat, his praise at how good she was for him and how she felt. He was silent in the face of her aggression and she wasn’t sure how to feel, trying desperately to chase that control and release of her emotions. Her lips left his swollen and bruised and she pressed open mouth kisses onto the hard muscle of his shoulder as the pace became a mess. It wasn’t about her orgasm at that moment. She wanted to make him come, drag it from him like a trophy. Show him exactly what she could do to him. And when he did find his release, the hot spend of his arousal filling her, she bit down hard into the skin of his neck making him groan harder and dig his fingers into her skin. He tasted like sweat and salt and the earthy air from working outside. She didn’t come, didn’t mention it or even want it, only held him tightly as he came down from the high and slid his hand over her naked back. His grip was a little harder and she kept her face tucked into his neck when he tried to meet her eyes. They went to bed without any discussion, him holding her to his chest while her eyes stared into the darkness longer, listening to his breaths. The sound of knocking in the early morning woke them up. She heard Joel curse and throw on pants and a flannel, not bothering to button it up before lumbering down the stairs. Sleep beckoned to pull her back under, breasts pressed into the cool sheets and covers slid down from Joel leaving. It was usually Tommy, up early and taking care of things or letting him know of any problems. But she paused at the distinctly female voice she heard. A few minutes later Joel came back into the room and began to dress fully. She bit her lip, watching him from where her face was shoved into the pillow, brows furrowed. Boots, jacket, holster, gun. Everything signs he was leaving the walls. He looked at her after snapping in his gun and paused when he noticed she was awake and staring, two large unblinking eyes watching him from behind her arms. Joel hesitated in the darkness, contemplating, almost guilty. It was supposed to be his day off. Yet here he was, racing off. “Harper said one of the guys is sick and they’re short one so I’m gonna go help out with morning patrol,” he explained and nodded to himself, thumbs in his belt. A reasonable excuse. She wondered if he hadn’t noticed she was awake would he have left without telling her? But still, she said nothing and tucked her face back into the pillow, exhausted and a little sad and drowning in her own deteriorating self-esteem and doubt. A few moments later, she ignored the trail of his fingers on her naked back, soft and apologetic, before he left the room. Most of the time it was Tommy asking him to fill in. He didn’t say yes often and would tell him to shove it before going back to their bed. But Harper had asked this time and she felt her hackles raise at the fact she’d come to their house. To ask him specifically. And he’s been quick to say yes. 
These feelings weren’t something she knew how to process or handle. Who the fuck handled being jealous of all things in the apocalypse? It was ridiculous, but settling in Jackson had allowed those things to creep in. She became aware of all she lacked and all she couldn’t handle and how other people didn’t have the same issues as her. She let her instincts guide her. The kennels became her home. She knew when Joel was home and avoided him, knowing that if she didn’t see him with Harper then it wouldn’t hurt as much versus death by a thousand cuts. She knew better than to try and sleep in the downstairs room, he’d only find her and yell at her to go upstairs, so she went to bed early or late. Asleep before he would show up or waiting until he was sleeping himself. Ellie followed her around when she wasn’t going to classes or helping out where she could. The girl never asked directly what was wrong, but she knew something was up. There was worry in her eyes and she would ask for help with inane tasks, trying to lure her home like luring a frightened dog home with a treat. She didn’t want to worry or hurt her, but the feelings were choking her and she didn’t know how to cope. Some nights, she missed her sister and having someone to walk her through it all. Annie had been so much smarter than her despite her young age. She understood the world better, was sassy like Ellie, and could read people so well. Unlike her who was gullible back then and immensely naive, unsure and anxious constantly. Book smart, but not much else. But Annie was gone along with that version of her. 
Sometimes she’d feel Joel inching closer to her in the bed, hands ghosting over her shoulder or brushing through her hair when he thought she was asleep. His lips brushing her skin. Never pushing, far too patient. 
When he left for morning patrol, she pretended to stay asleep. Harper would be in his group and when that happened, she liked to wait outside the house for him. The kennels welcomed her and she spent time with each dog, shoving her face into their necks and running her hands over their fluffy coats. She checked on the puppies and weighed them all, walking Maggie so she could get a break from the squirming things. She even spent time with the older dogs, taken off duty, making sure they got attention and massaged their joints and hugged them in her lap. Her brain made backup plans. If Joel asked her to leave the house, she could set up a cot in the kennels and stay there. There was even a small converted garage she could live in if she needed to. If they asked her to leave, she could go north and stay within distance enough she could visit Ellie often enough. Maybe set up a radio code similar to what Joel had told her about their friends Bill and Frank so she could set meet up spots. The latter was more likely. People only put up with her because of Joel and if he chose Harper then there wasn’t any reason to keep her in Jackson to them. Ellie would have guardians, she wasn’t necessary.
Hours passed while she cared for the dogs. She skipped breakfast and lunch, choosing instead to spend time training them or napping with the senior dogs in their pens.
It was mid-day when the doors opened and she heard footsteps enter. They weren’t familiar and her body stiffened instantly, shutting the pen door behind her as she exited Maggie’s enclosure. Sometimes it was one of the patrols, coming to switch out the dogs, but they didn’t always take them out unless someone was spotted and none had been taken that day. Her heart thudded even louder when she saw who it was, Harper’s smile a little too tight as she made eye contact. In all the times since the newcomer had joined Jackson, she’d never been alone with the woman. Now she didn’t like the lack of a buffer, the way her focus took in every inch of her. But in the same way, the cracks in her mask were showing. What had seemed gentle in the lines of her face were now condescending, mocking, ingenuine. Her lips were stretched thin in almost a sneer and those blue eyes were hard. Oh. She could see the game then, the cunning analyzing way this woman looked at her. She was right. Harper was a survivor, was so very smart, and was also willing to do whatever to get her way. You don’t survive this long by being sweet and kind and caring. You had to be ugly sometimes, but Harper had gotten good at hiding that ugliness from the right people. There was no reason to hide it from her though. 
The woman stepped further in and walked towards her languidly, trailing her hands along the stable doors. Her exit was cut off, having to move around the woman to leave, and she began to see the situation for what it was. A standoff. A fight. Her teeth were grinding, nails sinking into her palm if only to inflict some kind of violence to keep herself in check. 
Harper smiled, faux kindness painted on her lips, “They told me about you, warned me to be careful around you, and all the problems you’ve been having. They told me how you’re on your last leg here.” She paused and the smile widened, “You should just go and save everyone the trouble. Ellie’s doing great here and from what Joel has told me, he’s enjoying having his brother back and this new settlement life. If you really care about them, you’d realize you’re holding them back.”
Her blood was boiling, rage roaring through her head at Harper’s gall to mention her people, and she growled, “And you’re so worried about them, right? Concerned citizen?”
“Joel has been through a lot,” Harper spat out and she wanted to snap her teeth as if she didn’t fucking know, “He shouldn’t have to worry about some woman messing things up and getting them kicked out.” Some woman, as if that was all she was. The words were spit out of her mouth like they were covered in grime and blood. She didn’t even bother to hide what she meant. The words were all there, the implication that the man had opened up to her, told her about his life and what they’d been through, and his feelings regarding this new chapter. Things he hadn’t told her yet, too busy trying to douse fires and help her get settled. 
Cleaning up her messes.
With a clenched jaw, holding in the hurt and the anger to keep from showing the damage, she bent down and grabbed her bag to try and leave. There was no winning in this sense because she was right and she’d never been good with words. Better to get out of there, go somewhere else before the damage took hold and would start to fester, “Your concern is noted.” Moving to go around her and leave, Harper stepped in her path, shoulders straight and spine rigid with her chest puffed out, “It’s not just for them. This is a civilized place.” And you’re not that went unsaid, “Why don’t you do everyone a favor and go? They’ll be fine and happy. No one has to worry if you’re gonna freak out and kill someone and you can finally roam the forests and be back home.”
She was so close she could smell the trees and wind on her, the slight hint of sweat from the horse. Too close. Close enough she could wrap her teeth into her flesh and bite and rip. Too tempting.
“Or you can get the fuck out of my face?” she hissed with her teeth bared. It was all rising, the urge to hurt her. She’d hurt so many people for less and it would feel so good to break her knuckles open on her mouth, to hear the cartilage in her nose crack. But her smile turned smug and she only pressed in, almost chest to chest, and using her few inches of height to look down at her, “Or what? What can you do? They’ll kick you out and do you really think Joel would be on your side if you hurt me?” That made her hesitate. Because she wasn’t sure. With the other women, the men and their obvious disdain for her, yes he would defend her. But this new person who was like a merging of all he liked? Tough but good with people and pretty and able to hold her own, someone he trusted at his back. Would he defend her? Harper sensed that hesitation and, before she could blink, took advantage and shoved her back. She stumbled, losing ground, so aware she was trapped. The fox with its leg in a noose, all over again. Fighting would give her exactly what she wanted. Not fighting back made her weak, someone to trample on. Someone too weak to live. 
“Come on. Settlement life make you lose your bite or are the rumors hot air?” Harper hissed and shoved her again. Her instincts were screaming to fight, to shove her back, grab her knife, or use her fists. Beat her teeth in and make her swallow each one to the point she could only eat soup until she choked on it. But that hanging threat was there like a guillotine, Tommy’s voice saying Maria was considering kicking her out.
Joel asking her to try.
So she did nothing. She clenched her fists and bit her tongue until blood coated it. And when Harper threw a punch, snapping her head to the side, she still did nothing. 
Shame and anger and resentment bloomed in her chest and the small taste of blood grew until she could feel a steady trickle down her throat as her nose took the brunt of the damage. She’d killed so many people for simply touching something of hers, looking at her, had done awful things to protect herself and her two people, and yet she would take this if it meant keeping them safe and happy. But it felt so much like losing to just let it happen.
“Can’t do anything, can you?” Harper chuckled, “They don’t need you, ya know that? You’re baggage. Joel and Ellie’s lives would be so much easier without you dragging them down-” “The fuck you just say to her?” The moment the deep voice snarled through the kennel, she saw Harper freeze. It came from the open doorway and she watched as the sneer on her face morphed into surprise and then tried to turn soft, apologetic. Fake. They both turned and watched as Joel entered the kennel, lips twisted into a hard frown and brow shading his eyes. He was looking at the woman differently now. Like an outsider or a threat. She could see the subtle fear and discomfort swim to the surface under that gaze. The game was up. Mask invisible. “Joel-” “Not another word. You shut your fucking mouth,” he snarled and Harper shrunk in response. She watched it all with a disconnect, feeling the blood slide down her lips and into her mouth. There was no relief at his appearance. Shame was still a heavy blanket on her shoulders at him finding her cowed.
With a gulp, Harper’s gaze swung between the two and she slid away, scurrying around him and towards the exit. But not before he called out, “If you say a goddamn word to her ever again, I’ll let her finish what you started and swear before the whole town that you deserved every bit of what she does to you. I’ll make sure she doesn’t get punished for a single fucking thing.” The threat was there but not from him. No, even catching them with her own blood smeared across her face, he knew she could do the damage herself unrestrained and untethered. That this moment was a special circumstance because what she could do was far worse than what he would. Harper ran and didn’t look back. Silence took over between them, tension thick enough the dogs whined and pawed at their pen doors. She stood stiff and unmoving, eyes not meeting his but looking off into the darkness. He was the first to break the silence. “Why didn’t you fight back?” Joel asked, a growl still in his voice but not towards her. She smiled humorlessly, hands on her hips and staring down at the door floor. Her blood was speckled on the ground, “Because I’m trying.”
Joel scoffed and stepped more into the room, grabbing her chin until she looked up at him. From his back pocket, he pulled out a rag and gently began to wipe the blood from her face, “Trying to do what? Be a punching bag?” Blood was in her throat when she swallowed, heart beating a little louder at his touch, but she continued to avoid his gaze, “Integrate.” He paused at the word, his thumb rubbing the edge of her jaw compulsively. Then his grip tightened and he turned her forcefully to meet his gaze. Joel’s eyes were hard and lips pressed thin with anger but also regret and frustration, “I don’t give a shit if we’re integrating or whatever. Someone gives you shit, lays a hand on you, fuck even makes you feel like you don’t belong with us then you knock their fucking teeth in.” She swallowed as he all but snarled the words at her, his fingers so tight on her skin, but he continued, “Settling down here doesn’t mean I want you to become a doormat and I’ll argue with Maria until I’m fucking blue over that. They start shit? Then you sure as fuck finish it.” Her teeth clenched and she felt the sharp coppery tang of the blood still in her mouth, “They’ll kick me out-” “No, they won’t,” he hissed angrily, “I fucking mean it, Red. I don’t want you softening for our sake if it means people try to make you feel like shit. Your place is here with us. No one is going to get between us, I can assure you that.” “She wasn’t wrong,” she replied softly as if saying it out loud was exposing an open nerve, exposing her insecurity to him, “I’m baggage. She could take care of herself and you and Ellie. She can cook and watch your back and gets along with people. I can’t do that-” “Stop,” he ground out, “I’m not that easy. Jesus, I’m not going to chase after the first woman that can hold a gun and make me a fucking pie.” Despite his hard words, he still gently wiped her face clean, taking such care in checking her over and making sure she was okay. It was almost too much, “Give yourself some credit, Starshine-” “You spent a lot of time with her,” the words were like ripping open her skin, bitter and stupid and raw as they spilled out of the wound, “She’s…from Austin and…you laughed and smiled with her. You just seemed happier around her.” Joel paused and pulled back a little to fully take in her expression and what was at play. She could see the moment he saw her, really saw her no matter how hard she was trying to hide her feelings. The insecurity. The jealousy. Everything she had struggled with. He chewed his lip and nodded, brow furrowing a bit harder, “I’m sorry I didn’t realize what she wanted or how she was making you feel. But you’re fucking stupid if you think I wouldn’t turn her ass down in a second.” The words weren’t gentle or soft, but they were said as a fact. The simplest fact that Joel would never choose Harper. That he wasn’t actively pursuing that. And it worked. She felt the tightness in her shoulders ease a bit as he pulled her forward into his embrace, pressing a kiss against her forehead. Her fingers dug into his back, gripping the worn denim fabric of his shirt tightly and she couldn’t help but sigh into his embrace. Home. It felt like home and comfort and everything she had felt she was missing. Breathing him in, she mumbled against his chest, “She’s probably going to complain next time you have patrol with her.” “She’s not going to be on patrol with me,” he murmured into her ear, pulling back to sweep her messy hair behind her ears, “I’m gonna make sure she works exactly where she belongs. On shit duty.” “You don’t have to. You don’t have to come to my rescue,” she argued albeit weakly. “Oh I’m not,” Joel chuckled, lips turning up into a smirk, “This is all for me. No one insults what’s mine.” She looked at him, brow furrowed at the words, mind trying to process them. But she didn’t get very far before his lips were on hers, kissing her hard and tugging her back flush against his body so she could feel exactly how much he wanted her. Her nails dug into his skin, teeth tugging on his bottom lip, while his hands kneaded the soft curves of her ass, pressing the hard front of his jeans into her stomach. He groaned into her mouth and pulled away enough to speak against her lips, grip on her still tight, “Let’s get back home so I can fuck you so hard you’ll stop doubting yourself.” She chuckled, wanting to argue that that was a hard promise to keep, but he was already dragging her out of the kennels and into the darkening streets as the sun began to lower. True to his word, Harper found herself with a brand new post going forward. Tommy didn’t mention the reason why to her, didn’t pull her aside and question her over what happened. Ellie didn’t even mention her bruised nose. Whatever Joel had told them was enough. The woman went out of her way to avoid going anywhere near any of them going forward, even straight turning in the opposite direction when she saw them and eventually coming off patrol duty all together. She tried not to feel satisfied at that. Tried not to feel more at ease or proud of herself when Maria told her she was doing a damn good job with the kennels and asked if she wanted to take on more duties, almost cementing that she wasn’t going to be asked to leave. Joel and Ellie did that for her, celebrating every small win and reminding her exactly where she belonged. With them.  _________________________________________ Taglist:  @alouise20 @faceache111​​ @hawsx3​​ @taxidriversainz @iluvbunnyhops @mrfitzdarcyslover​ @emlovesya  @agent007knight​ @spaacerabbit​ @namgification @wonwoosthetic​  @wxnderingthoughts @sagggy @escaping-reality8
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