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feelgoodbridgerton · 4 months

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Chapter 12: Mr. Collins' Visit

Sorry this Chapter is short.

Ingrid woke up from a nightmare, sweating and trembling. She had dreamed of the day she was kidnapped, the day she was trampled by horses, the day she lost her memory. She had remembered everything, in vivid and painful detail. She had remembered who she was, who Benedict was, and who they were to each other. She had remembered their love, their happiness, their plans. She had remembered it all, and she wished she hadn't.

Ingrid lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She had been back at Whittington House for a week. She had recovered from her amnesia, but not from her broken leg. She had to wear a cast and use crutches, and she hated it. She felt weak, helpless, and ugly.

She also felt guilty, ashamed, and unworthy. She had pushed Benedict away, after he had declared his love for her and asked her to marry him. She had told him that he didn't want a broken or injured wife, that he deserved someone better, someone whole and beautiful. She had told him to leave her alone, and never come back.

She knew she had hurt him deeply, but she also thought she had done him a favor. She loved him more than anything in the world, but she also wanted him to be happy. And she didn't think he could be happy with her.

But of Course Benedict didn't listen to her. He refused to leave her alone. He told her that she was the most beautiful, brave, and wonderful woman he had ever met. He told her that he wanted to marry her, and that he didn't care about her leg.

She heard a knock on the door, and turned her head. She saw her mother, Lady Whittington, standing there. She looked at her with a stern and serious expression.

"Hello, Mother. What do you want?" Ingrid asked ."I want to talk to you, Ingrid. May I come in?" Lady Whittington asked.

"Sure, Mother. Come in," Ingrid said.

Lady Whittington entered the room, and sat down on a chair next to Ingrid's bed. She looked at her daughter with concern and disappointment.

"Ingrid, I'm very worried about you. You've been acting very strangely since you came back. You hardly eat or sleep or smile. You don't talk to anyone or do anything. You just lie here all day, feeling sorry for yourself," Lady Whittington said.

"I'm sorry, Mother. I'm not feeling very well," Ingrid said.

"I know you're not feeling well, Ingrid. You've been through a lot. You've been kidnapped by a monster, injured by an accident, and lost your memory for a while. You've suffered more than anyone should ever have to suffer. And I'm very proud of you for surviving and recovering from it all," Lady Whittington said.

"Thank you, Mother. That's very kind of you," Ingrid said.

"You welcome dearest now it's time for you to get dressed and come downstairs." She says standing up then patting the bed.

Looking at her quizzically Ingrid asks, "But why mother?"

"Because you have a visitor waiting for you." She replies gliding to the door and ushering in the maids.

Groaning Ingrid says, "If it's Benedict," "It is not." you're mother cuts her off sternly and shuts the door behind her.

After quite some time Ingrid is dressed and down the staircase, she walks into the dining room and to her surprise sees Mr. Collins at the table wearing his half mask that covers his injury and his cane is gently leaned against his chair.

Ingrid felt a surge of emotion as she saw Mr. Collins sitting at the table. She had not seen him since St. Mary's Hospital. She walked slowly towards him, feeling nervous and curious. She noticed that he looked pale and thin, but also handsome and dignified. He wore a dark suit and a white cravat, and his half mask was made of black leather. His brown hair was neatly combed, and his remaining eye was a deep blue. He looked up as she approached, and smiled slightly.

"Miss Whittington, I'm very glad to see you again," he said, in a low and gentle voice.

"Mr. Collins, I'm very surprised to see you here," she said, in a polite tone. She sits down across from him. "What are you doing here?"

"I hope you don't mind my visit. I came to see how you were doing, and per your mother's request give you some advice."

"Advice? Advice about what?" Ingrid quips.

"About Whom?" Her mother inquiries.

"Mother, please don't," Ingrid said.

"Yes, Ingrid, I'm talking about Benedict Bridgerton. He's been here every day since you came back, trying to see you and talk to you and comfort you. But you won't let him in your room or in your heart. You won't even look at him or listen to him. You just tell him to go away and leave you alone," Lady Whittington said.

"I'm very disappointed in you, Ingrid. You've been making some very foolish and hurtful decisions lately. You've been pushing away the one person who loves you more than anything in the world. The one person who risked his life to save you from that monster. The one person who wants to make you happy for the rest of your life," Mr. Collins says.

Ingrid looks at him astonished.

Leaning forward Mr. Collins looks her in the eyes "You told me you were going to love him, and to keep him because he's the best thing that ever happened to you."

"You don't understand Mr. Collins that's easier said than done!" Ingrid exclaims frustrated.

"Do not tell me I don't understand Miss Whittington!" He retorts back.

"I'm sorry Mr. Collins I forgot about your situation please forgive me." Ingrid says sheepishly shrinking back in her chair.

"No Miss Whittington I am sorry I shouldn't have raised my voice at you, but I can't stand to see you treat Mr. Bridgerton so badly. He doesn't deserve it, Ingrid. He deserves your love and your gratitude and your respect. He's a wonderful man, Ingrid. A handsome, charming, wealthy man who could have any woman he wants in the world. But he only wants you, Ingrid. He only loves you."

"Mother, Mr. Collins, please understand, I don't want him to feel burdened or ashamed if we marry I don't want him to have a broken, injured wife." Ingrid says.

"No, Ingrid, you need to understand. how lucky you are to have him love you so much. You need to understand how foolish you are to push him away so hard. You need to understand how wrong you are to think that he won't want a broken or injured wife," Mr. Collins said.

"Ingrid, you listen to me. He doesn't care about your broken leg or your injured body or your scars or your bruises or anything else that might make you feel less than perfect in your eyes or anyone else's eyes. He cares about your heart and your soul and your mind and your spirit and everything else that makes you who you are in his eyes or anyone else's eyes. He loves you for you, Ingrid. He loves you for you," Lady Whittington said. She reached out her hand, and held Ingrid's hand tightly.

"Mother, please," Ingrid pleads. "No, Ingrid, no more please. No more excuses. No more lies. No more self-pity. No more rejection. No more pushing him away. It's time to face the truth, Ingrid. It's time to accept his love, Ingrid. It's time to be happy, Ingrid," Lady Whittington said.

"Ingrid. Please, for your sake and his sake and everyone's sake. Please, don't let him go. Please, don't let him slip away. Please, don't let him break his heart or yours. Please, give him a chance. Please, give yourself a chance. Please, say yes to him," Mr. Collins said.

Ingrid looked at her mother and Mr. Collins with tears in her eyes. She felt a surge of emotion in her chest. She felt love and guilt and fear and hope and happiness.

She looked at her mother in the eyes with gratitude and admiration.

"Thank you, Mother. Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for being so kind and supportive. Thank you for being my mother," she said.

Lady Whittington smiled warmly, and hugged her daughter. "You're welcome, Ingrid. You're my daughter, and I love you more than anything in the world," she said.

Mr. Collins rises from his seat and reaches for his cane. "I'm afraid I have to take my leave now," he announces. He embraces Ingrid warmly and says, "It was a pleasure to help you see reason, my dear."

"Please, stay a little longer," Mrs. Whittington urges.

"No, no, I couldn't impose. Besides, Miss Ingrid has an important call to make to Mr. Bridgerton." He winks at her and she beams with excitement. She runs off to find a suitable place for her conversation.

Mr. Collins laughs softly and shakes his head. "Ah, to be young and in love again." He sighs wistfully. "You are not too old to find love again, Mr. Collins," Mrs. Whittington assures him. "Love is a rare commodity for a man of my station and age," he replies. "Well, I hope you will find it someday, Mr. Collins," she says with a smile as she walks him to the door. "Clara, bring Mr. Collins his hat and coat, please." "They are right here, mama," Clara says, appearing from the foyer. She hands them to Mr. Collins, her cheeks flushed. "Thank you, milady," he says, taking them from her. "You're welcome," Clara says timidly. Mr. Collins puts on his coat and turns to Mrs. Whittington. "You have very lovely daughters, madam," he compliments. "Thank you, Mr. Collins," she responds, and Clara blushes even more. As he steps out of the door, he hears Clara ask, "Will we see you again, Mr. Collins?" He looks back at her and says, "Only time will tell, my dear." He tips his hat to her and closes the door behind him.

#bridgerton #benedict bridgerton imagine #bridgerton fic #1800s #anthonybridgerton #benedictbridgerton #bridgertonbridgertonfamily #bridgertonfanfic #bridgertonfanfiction

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soumyahpcrazy-blog · 1 year

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Gardens are made for Sinning

It was the most tantalizing red he had ever seen. It was a most sinful red and yet Kate looked almost innocent in it, with an ethereal, otherworldly air about her. He stood transfixed as he stared at her almost gliding across the hall. She barely glanced at him as she laughed and conversed with the members of the Ton with such addictive manners, causing Anthony to sigh frustratingly. The minx knew what she was doing; she was driving him mad with her presence. His breath hitched as she bent her head back in deep laughter, showing a daring expanse of skin with her bodice almost too revealing, bordering on scandalous. Such a tease, thought Anthony. But he knew he deserved it. He had taken far too long to make a move and had all but rejected her last month; and now he was paying the price for his sheer stupidity. He was about to lose Kate.

Oblivious to Anthony’s inner turmoil, Kate forced herself to act normal in the crowd. She had no clue whether Anthony was in attendance or not and honestly, she dreaded seeing him. His rejection had destroyed her and it had taken a whole month for her to come back to society and diffuse the rumours. She would not shed another tear over him, she promised herself. She would find happiness elsewhere, with someone else. She was worthy of being loved and she would learn to love again. There was no way she would deprive herself of happiness just because Lord Bridgerton could not make up his mind.

She smiled as Lord Cornwall came up to her. He had lovely manners and she agreed for a dance. As she placed her gloved hand in his, she felt proud of herself. Proud for moving on, for giving herself the opportunity and for making an effort. Lord Cornwall was an excellent dancer and an even better conversationalist. Kate could barely keep a straight face with her partner making humorous comments about a few members of the Ton. He made her laugh and Kate realised it had been too long since she had laughed with such abandon.

Rather ominously, Kate felt a pair of eyes on her. She did not have to look to figure out who was watching her with such murderous intensity. Her face fell and she looked like she was going to be sick. Lord Cornwall, like the gentleman he was, quickly ushered her from the dance floor and got her a glass of cool lemonade. After resting for a while, Kate excused herself and walked towards the gardens. Lord Cornwall was reluctant in letting her go but understood her need for fresh air and some space.

Kate quickly found a wooden seat in the garden and plopped down rather unbecomingly. It was then that she finally let go of the breath she did not know she had been holding. She clutched the seat with her hands and bent her head forward while trying to draw in deep breaths.

He was here at the ball. He had been watching her this whole time. Kate felt angry, scared and obviously agitated. Oh, why was he still tormenting her?! What did he want? He had made it clear that he would never marry and now that Kate had finally begun to restore herself and her life, he was back. With his deep dark brooding eyes and his tousled chestnut hair and that strong jaw that he had appeared to be clenching. Was he angry? She thought; He had no right to! Did he expect her to pine for him? To be utterly depressed and put on an aura of eternal sadness?

Engrossed in her thoughts, Kate failed to notice Anthony’s arrival. She raised her head sharply when he cleared his throat to draw her attention. She stood up quickly, offered a quick shallow curtesy and moved forward to get out of there. She did not want to be in his presence. She was not sure of herself and the pain was still very fresh. It was best to be out of there lest she embarrassed herself in front of him.

Anthony swiftly held her hand while pulling her towards him. “My Lord?” she questioned, her eyes widening in surprise. Anthony towered over her, and in the darkness of the garden his largeness was even more frightening. “We need to talk Kate” he said, his voice strained as if he was having trouble being calm. “You have spoken quite enough my Lord” replied Kate while trying to pull herself out of his grip. “Please my Lord, this is most improper!” Kate hissed. She knew how precarious her situation was. Anybody could walk in at any moment and her life would be over. She would be branded as a wanton and a temptress but Lord Bridgerton would be given a free pass, for he was a titled gentleman and she was but a simple miss who had probably set out to lure him in. The thought made Kate even more angry. It wasn’t fair!

“Let me go Lord Bridgerton” she commanded, her eyes never once wavering from his. “Why must you be so difficult Kate?” Anthony breathed, “I simply want to talk”.

“I will talk Lord Bridgerton but you must unhand me at once” said Kate, her doe like eyes staring deeply into his. She was not going to back down from a challenge. He had made her suffer enough. Not anymore.

Anthony let her go and stepped back. He ran an impatient hand through his hair and tousled it even more. Kate quickly lowered her eyes before the sight started to affect her. It pained her to realise that he still had that effect on her.

“You seemed quite content dancing with Cornwall” he remarked with a snide smirk on his face. Kate looked up sharply and snapped back saying, “And why should that concern you?”

“It doesn’t. Not in the least. I am just surprised that you of all people would find him charming. He is a dreadful bore after all” Anthony said while his smirk grew wider.

“What is it to you, my Lord?” Kate retorted, “I thought you had made your intentions quite clear the last time we spoke”.

“I am simply surprised to see you out and about so quickly after our last conversation Miss Sharma. I had not pictured you as so…..efficient” Anthony said with a deliberate pause. He knew he was being cruel and unjust. But jealousy was an ugly emotion and being cruel to Kate was his only line of defence.

Kate pursed her lips. She was sure she would say something extremely unladylike and embarrass herself. She held her head up high and said “Although my acquaintance with Lord Cornwall is quite new, I can definitely say that he is a true gentleman. He has kind manners and speaks freely. He is not afraid of expressing himself…..unlike some other members of the Ton”. Kate made sure to pause suggestively.

Anthony felt his anger rise. He stepped forward menacingly. His gesture frightened Kate and she instinctively took a few steps back. As her legs hit the familiar wooden seat, a chill ran down her spine. There was no where to go. Anthony had her cornered.

Anthony did not stop moving until he has her backed up to the seat. It gave him a sick sense of satisfaction to see her scared and almost breathless. Her eyes upon him, barely blinking with flecks of fear dancing in them. He enjoyed having this insane power over her. To know that she was still fighting within herself, that she was still in love with him, that he could affect her so much, the euphoria was driving him insane.

He did not know why he had cornered her. He just felt this burning need within himself to let her know that she was his. No matter what she did, who she danced with, who she glanced at, it was him that she loved and it was probably the only thing over which the spectacular and fierce Kate Sharma did not have any control.

Anthony lowered his head towards her. Kate turned her face away in reflex. She put both her hands on his chest and before she could give him a shove, Anthony had his arms around her in a vicious grip. He secured her in his hold with one arm and with the other he held her jaw and forced her to face him.

Kate fought hard to release herself but she was no match for his strength. “No!” she wanted to scream but it was stifled with Anthony’s lips. Kate closed her eyes shut and tried her best to turn her face away all the while fidgeting in his grip. But she could tell that it barely took any effort for Anthony to secure her in his arms.

The kiss was nothing like he had expected. To be honest, he had not expected a kiss at all. He had been jealous and angry and desperate. All of which came out as lashing down on Kate and eventually kissing her. He had wanted to scare her but a kiss was never in the plan. But she had looked so deliciously scared and her feigned anger was ever so tempting. He could not have lived another second without tasting her and he kissed like it.

Anthony kissed like a man possessed. He knew it was wrong, he knew it was too much of a risk and he knew Kate didn’t want it. Yet her muffled denial, her squirming and fidgeting all drove him to madness. She was sweetness personified and he realised he could not let her go. He could never let her go. Not anymore. Not ever. This is what he had been missing in his life, this intoxicating elixir; How stupid had he been to put her down while she had bared her heart to him. He was not going to lose her again.

Kate did not want to give in. She tried her best not to. She pushed and shoved and almost bit his lips once but to no avail. As his teeth scraped her lower lips begging for entrance, Kate gasped. He took this as his chance and the kiss was renewed with even more fervour. She hated herself for loving him. She hated how she had to fight with herself to not give in to the kiss. But she knew, it was mere passion. He was a man denied and that had irked his anger. She was not special; she was just convenient.

Anthony let go of her jaw and Kate used this opportunity to jerk her head back and break the kiss. “No!” she shrieked, “You must stop!”

Anthony dropped feverish kisses on her jawline and neck while his hand ran down her body only to stop at her breasts. Kate felt his hand cup her breast and she knew if she did not stop him then, he would take her on the grass itself.

With great difficulty, Kate raised her foot only to bring it down on his with as much strength as she could muster. Anthony stumbled back with a growl and an expletive. Kate glared at him as he finally composed himself. She wanted answers. “Why?” she wanted to ask but all that came out was a muffled cry that turned into sobbing.

Anthony stared at her while staring deeply. He had behaved terribly and if his father would have witnessed his downfall today, he would have died a thousand times over. He was at a loss for words. He wanted to apologize but he knew he did not mean it. He wanted her. He had not realised it but now it was evident. He could not breathe without her. He had been an arrogant bastard last month, all the while taking her for granted. He had never thought of life without Kate being around and her absence had hit him like a brick wall.

“Kate I, I am sorry. I just cannot…” he breathed “I cannot bear to see you with someone else. Cannot see you smile at someone else. Cannot see you share a dance with someone else.”

“How privileged Lord Bridgerton!” Kate spoke between sobs, “How privileged of you to treat me however you want! To toss me aside and then come back again to relish in the power you hold over me.”

“I loved you Lord Bridgerton and I all but said so. You broke my heart and it irks your manhood now to see that I have moved on! Does it hurt your precious ego to see me laugh with someone else? To see that I can still live and be happy after your refusal?” Kate snapped furiously.

Anthony’s head bowed down in shame. “You have every right to hate me, Kate. I deserve it” he confessed, “I have been a cad to you and you probably won’t ever forgive me; But if you do, know that I am fool in a love.”

Kate stared at him as he continued, “This last month has been terrible. I cannot explain how lost I felt without you. I was too proud to admit that I missed you and be assured I have suffered well enough for it.”

When Kate did not speak up, Anthony continued with his confession, “I made a huge mistake Kathani. I am ashamed to admit that it was only after I lost you that I finally came to this realisation. I implore you to give me a chance to make it right.” He looked a her with guilt in his eyes.

Kate did not speak up for a long time. Anthony’s heart almost skipped a beat in anticipation.

“I think it is all too easy for you my Lord” she whispered. “You cannot be so whimsical with me. I don’t think I want to forgive you tonight.”

“Please Kate, I am willing to spend my entire life trying to win you back” Anthony begged. Were those tears in his eyes? Kate wondered.

“I love you. Still. Against my better judgement. Even after what you have put me through” Kate responded; her face looked stern. “You may try and win me back. I wish you all the best in your endeavours but I will not make it easy my Lord.”

“Very well Miss Sharma. I accept your challenge” Anthony chuckled.

#darkanthony #bridgerton #juliaquinn #katesharma #anthonybridgerton #regencyera #forcedkiss #angst #regret #scandalous #scandal

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