#another silly headcanon i have is that he doesn't really feel the cold. once again this is partially me projecting but it makes sense ok

[gaypirate420]

Drunk// Jasper W. Hale.

Jasper Whitlock-Hale x gn!reader.

Summary: Jasper shows up in the middle of the night...drunk?

A/N: I love BD!Jasper. Tagging @iconicstoner

Fluff. This is mostly a couple of my headcanons about Twilight vampires.

You were wrapped in your blankets, your eyes on your phone as you messaged Jasper for the tenth time today. You knew he was going to Edward's bachelor party but still, you were worried.

There were three knocks on your window. You peeked your head out of the covers to find Jasper trying to get inside through the closed window.

You chuckled at the sight of him, his hair is all messy it makes him look adorable.

You walked towards the window and opened it for him.

"Well hello, cowboy." You speak softly, the southern vampire giggles as he slides inside your room.

"You're in a good mood." You said with a smile, he nodded with another chuckle.

"I think- I think I might be drunk." Jasper mumbles his accent thicker and his words a little slurry. You raised an eyebrow at him and his silly smirk.

"I thought alcohol did nothing for you." You cupped his face on your palms.

"Well I ain't drunk on alcohol, sugar." The vampire slurred back as he melted in your hand. Your mouth made a 'o' shape at his words, it made sense for you now that you thought about it.

"How much did you drink?" You asked as you couldn't help but smile at his joyful smile.

"H-huge bear." He mumbled as he stretched his arms to show you how big the bear was. You nodded along trying to suppress a laugh, he looks so adorable like this.

"Like two of 'em big bears. Emmet....Emmet got 'em so fast..." Jasper slurs out as he chuckled at the memories of the night he just had. You just take his dirty jacket off, he doesn't resist you at all.

"How does drinking so much blood make you feel- like this?" You ask in your curiosity, everyday you learn something new about vampires.

"Um- well, um....I dunno, something about...about dopamine...and adrenaline... Carlisle explains it a lot better." The vampires mumbles with the following shrug. You chuckled as you removed his vest.

"Well— also...like...like...like have you e-ever been around someone who's so happy it makes you dizzy?" The blonde asks as he finds it hard not to fully lean on you. You shake your head no.

"Like never? Like....like...like you just feel giddy because they are?" He looks up at you waiting for some relatability. You shake your head once again, you think, is this how he feels other people's emotions? Can someone who's really sad make him feel like dying? You feel a little bad about the amount of times you've cried in his arms.

"Then you're not only drunk on blood. You're high...on emotions." You said slowly trying to make your words have some sense for yourself. Jasper takes a couple of seconds but he nods with a smile.

"Yes, sugar...oh you're so smart." He mumbles and kisses your forehead. His cold lips travel to your cheeks, down your jaw and to your neck.

"Okay, cowboy, slow your horses..." You gently push his head back, as much as you want to give him all your love you are a little confused, if he's 'drunk' then could he truly be aware of what's happening? Could he consent?

"You always make me have a lot of questions." You whisper to him, he smirks and keeps kissing your cheeks.

You gently take him to your bed.

He lies down with you and holds you tight, burying his face on your neck.

"You smell so good, sweetheart." He mumbles with a smirk as his lips place gentle kisses on your skin.

"I don't mean it in a creepy way, you just...smell so good...so nice." The vampire slurs out as he holds you tighter. You smiled at his words.

"I like hugging you, you're so warm and soft." He keeps talking, his accents somewhat thicker as his fingers wander along your back.

The vampire nuzzles against you like a small kitten, you look at the time and decide it's time for you to sleep. You close your eyes as Jasper enjoys himself using you as a teddy bear.

You kiss his forehead before playing with his hair, stroking down to the back of his neck. The blonde melts against you.

You smiled softly as you felt a soft rumbling against you, a small sort of vibration. There's a small purring that comes from him as he nuzzles.

You chuckled again.

"Why are ya laughing at me so much?" He asks softly with his slurry voice, he can't keep his eyes open, not because he's sleepy but he just feels so relaxed as he unconsciously lets those mysterious purrs out.

"You're just cute." You whispered back with a smile.

"You're making fun of me, sugar." He mumbles like a hurt little child. His blonde hair is tickling your neck as he continues to rub against you.

"I'm not, Jazzy. I just think you're very cute." You spoke softly.

Jasper nods slowly, seemingly convinced, if he wasn't like this he'll argue about how he isn't cute and that he did horrible things in his last but he's just purring and nuzzling happily.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hello! Hope you liked this! I just love my headcanon about vampires being able to purr, if any of you were wondering it started because I read a Jasper fic where it was written "he purrs out" or something like that so my brain before interpreting in any other way, I just thought about a literal purr, like a kitten purr, It's goofy, but I love it.

#effervescent #jasper whitlock #jasper whitlock hale #jasper hale #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale x y/n #jasper hale x you #jasper hale x male reader #jasper cullen #twilight x reader

[captainsy-cookiemonster]

Follow-up ask for the raccoon bite headcanon

NSFW image under the cut😆

okay, i've let this cook for way too long 😂

silly something (smut but not really) under the cut. I haven't written in so long, this probably sucks😂😭

Continuation of this and this.

I'm so sorry 😂😂

Not beta’d, written at 10pm. If there are typos, just ignore them

*ding*

Mikey's phone goes off. He looks around the lecture hall, to see if anyone had heard the notification. No one was looking. Luckily.

Sweetcheeks: hey puppy🥰

When he doesn't answer, sends a picture, more specifically, a selfie of herself in a perfect black smokey eye.

Mike: babeee im in a lectureee

Sweetcheeks: 😈

Sweetcheeks: i have a surpriseee

Mike: caaan't. Important lecture...😩

But Mikey's girlfriend doesn't care. She sends another picture. Of herself. In black lace lingerie.

Sweetcheeks: come homeee

Mikey's face flushes. Blood rushing to two places. His face and well...

He packs up his things and hurries out the lecture hall. He walks across campus, almost running.

Sweetcheeks: im waiting😇

Mike starts walking even faster.

Finally, he reaches his dorm. He opens the door and enters... His childhood bedroom? Weird. But his brain doesn't get enough blood right now to think properly.

And there she is, lying on his bed.

"Hey, puppy," sweetcheeks beams at him.

Fuck, she looks so hot. In her makeup and that lingerie. He hadn't noticed it in the pictures, but she's also wearing a collar and cute little cat ears.

"You like it?" she asks innocently, almost pouting at him.

"I... Uhh..." Mike stammers, looking at his girlfriend. How'd she know he wanted her to dress up like that for ages?

She pats the bed, smiling and as if in a trance, he walks over.

He looks at her, almost drooling. Fuck, she looks so fucking hot. His cock twitches in his jeans when he sees the black tip of a tail peek out from behind her thigh.

She pats the bed again, and he sits next to her. Grinning, she starts crawling towards him, kissing him once she reaches him. She kisses her way down to his neck. Slowly, her kisses turn into little nibbles. She playfully bites his earlobe, and he grabs a handful of her ass. He takes hold of her tail and pulls it, just a little bit so he could see.

It's not fully black...

And her ears aren't cat ears, he notices...

Raccoon...

It's a raccoon tail plug.

"What's wrong, puppy?" she whispers sweetly. She smiles at him. He feels her hands on him still and looks down. They look like raccoon paws!

---------------------------------------

Mike wakes up, bathed in sweat. Horrible, horrible nightmare. He looks around his bedroom. His childhood bedroom. Right... He was hole for summer break.

He sees sweetcheeks sleeping next to him on her side, facing away from him, wearing one of his old t-shirts. No lingerie in sight. But he has to be sure.

As quietly as he can, he searches his room for any suspicious boxes that could store this horrible costume. There's nothing in his closet. Nothing under his desk. Nothing in sweetcheeks' drawer in his dresser. Finally, he looks under the bed. He finds a box and opens it. The black plastic bag he finds inside looks suspicious, so he can't help but open it.

What he finds inside makes his blood run cold.

It's the ears, tail plug, along with the ears.

"Nooooooo!"

"Mike! Are you insane?! It's 3am!" sweetcheeks sleepily hisses from the bed, rubbing her eyes and glaring at her boyfriend. And snuggled in her arm is Bandit.

Bandit. Truly a bandit. Stole his girlfriend now. How he hated this trash panda.

Mikey screams again, waking the whole house.

#Ask lisa #Wolvesandhoundshowltogether #Girl I'm so sorry for this😂😂😂😭😭😭 #mike (hellraiser) #Mike (hellraiser) drabble #Mike (hellraiser) fanfic #Mike (hellraiser) smut #Mike (hellraiser) fic #Mike (hellraiser) headcanon #Henry Cavill #henry cavill drabble #Henry Cavill fanfic #henry cavill smut #henry cavill fic #henry cavill headcanon #Mike (hellraiser) shitpost #Henry Cavill shitpost

[weafurry]

YAYY YIPPEE HII/silly

(Sorry I didn't get to this till now it was late when I saw the ask and I didn't wanna answer it while I was half asleep. Also apparently tumblr doesn't let you edit asks anymore?? )

Leaving this under a cut tho cuz I know this shit will get LONG

ANYWAYS. The. Big one related to that™ post came from a combination of me wondering how the FUCK Cedric got the yellow phosphor needed to rebuild proto + consequences of the revival of characters my beloved

And uh. Yea any yellow phosphor he does end up getting his hands on I. DOUBT WOULD BE ENOUGH.

So uh. Proto being rebuilt with less yellow phosphor then is probably even remotely adviseable and that causing a whole ton of issues™ . And Cedric not even knowing cuz of the whole just. Scanning the blueprints in.

Also this is proto we're talking about here. There's no fucking way he'd tell anyone until shit got BAD.

LEMME JUST. Screenshots from when I was brainrotting over this in my first OneShot fixation

And yea. The author probably would have had yellow phosphor stored in the lab somewhere just incase. (Esp with the head canon that. Proto predicted his own death a long time ago cuz. Prophet moment. And. Told the author and the prophet but never cedric and rue cuz everytime he went to he would get another vision of them trying to intervene and things only going worse)

BUT. since I want my angst goddammit. That part of the lab collapsed first and while Cedric was abled to salvage some yellow phosphor it ends up not being enough.

BUT LIKE. YEA. the way I always imagined Cedric and Rue actually finding out is. One of those moments where a bunch of errors and shit happens . Happens when him Cedric and Rue are walking in the refuge. And this one's bad enough that he can't just metaphorically grit his teeth through it like the other times this has happened in public. Once it's over Cedric and Rue are reasonably extremely concerned and. Fuckin rush him to the lab to try and see if there something they can do to fix this.

AND UH. That segways into another little detail of this headcanon. BECAUSE. he let this go on for so long with the damage all the errors and malfunctions overtime have caused. It probably would just be better to rebuild him and reuse the yellow phosphor they already have. BUT UH. since the situation around him being rebuilt made it so stressful the first time around, he. REALLY doesn't wanna do that again. I have. Such a vivid idea of a scene in my head for that. They're like. Talking with kip. And shes like halfway through saying the word rebuild and. She doesn't even get to finish he just cuts her off.

So what they end up doing is, in the meantime, using red phosphor to prevent any further damage until they can go to the barrens to get blue phosphor so said phosphor won't have to be replaced as often.

I ACTUALLY. made a dumb little chart of how. I imagined them looking different a few days ago

I imagine that. Actually having a normal level of phosphor would. Definitely HELP. But. There would still be some issues partially because it's not one uniform type of phosphor and partially because of the damage the issues caused. And you couldnt pry this headcanon out of my cold dead hands. Consequences of the revival of characters go brrrrrrr

AND THEN UH. Don't get me started on the night terrors as a result of the whole squares thing headcanons.

that whole thing. Came from me going. "do robots still need sleep?" and ultimately deciding yes when i came up with the other headcanon that. only tamed robots dream.

When I made this headcanon I actually hadnt played solstice in a while, and for some reason I always remembered it as, him handing Niko the disk while the lower half of his body was already in the squares. which. no he actually hands it to them while the squares are directly behind him BUT. I still choose to remember it that way HSHSH. anyways uh. Important and related to this headcanon. He remembers what that feels likeeee. and hes probably the only oneee because in the solstice ending everyone only sayss they remember the squares surrounding themm not actually touching themmm and even robots who have gotten caught in them and liveed probably dont rememberrr especially since most of them arent tameddd and uhh even if he only remembers the beginning of ittt hes probably really good at filling in the gapss with the whole prophet thingg (thanks @malwarechips for that last idea/silly)

ANYWAYS UHm. so the whole. tamed robots dreaming thing right. HIM. having night terrors about the fucking squares.

I always imagined it as like. about a week after solstice, once things are starting to calm down and return to normal, one night cedric and rue wake up to proto just fuckin screaming at the top of his (metaphorical) lungs. And. they fuckin burst into his room to him tossing and turning in his sleep and then fucking jolting awake. and like.this keeps happening like. practically every other night. he's losing sleep over this shit. Which probably isn't helping all the other issues from the whole phosphor ordeal which he still hasn't told Cedric or Rue about at this point. And I mean. I doubt the nightmares would be restricted to just. in the mines. cuz dreams are weird like that esp when traumas involved AND UH. With the whole prophet thing. That. PROBABLY WOULDNT MIX WELL. (once again thanks eve for that last part/silly)

(On a lighter note I did have the thought of Cedric and Rue sleeping in his room one night and him actually finally getting a good nights sleep and thus that just. Becoming routine for them. The thing about my angsty headcanons is 99% of the time there's hurt/comfort potential in there)

I DO HAVE. some more lighthearted not angsty headcanons, but i wanna save most of those for their own posts cuz theyre small enough that i can actually draw them and finish them.

I will say one more though. this one is 100% projection but *points at proto* chronic migraines

#90% of my proto headcanons are just me torturing my son and making things 10x worse for him. this is the cost of being a blorbo #i mean it's not like i made him *that* much worse #i mean look at him. look at him and tell me he's ok. look at him and tell me that he has decent mental health. #its so fucking hard to take myself seriously writing some of this when theyre called the SQUARES. like #OOOoooOoo scaryyyy he failed geometry oooooo #autism blast /silly #all of these are so fucking self indulgent and i will not be apologizing #can you tell im writing these tags as im writing the actual post #ok im normal now (this is a lie) #prototype #prototype oneshot #proto oneshot #oneshot #oneshot game #I still dont have a tag system for this fandom besides using oneshot/just character names for personal tagging #wyrm.txt #Wea's Art

[bichazz]

kalin for the hc ask pls!!!

oh poggers ok I love this bastard man

A: I don't think it's too unrealistic for me to say he's gay lol. like. look at him ok. look at him. hi.

B: an unrealistic but funny headcanon is I think he's somewhat illiterate??? or rather he was when he was younger lmao I think he was a proper street rat and while martha will have gotten her kids (like yusei crow and jack) as much in the way of education as she could I think kalin was on his own and as a feral little kid just said fuck that I'm playing duel monsters instead. like he can read well enough to duel and that's good enough for him!!! I do think he'd really enjoy reading and writing if he found something that caught his attention though and I think he's stubborn enough to teach himself once he realised hey maybe I should be literate. he wants to be as much of a role model to nico and west as he can and that includes helping them with schoolwork even if he didn't go himself!!

C: god uh. this man has lots of problems and issues!! I think it's really tragic the situation he was put in as a kid and had to just Deal with. I just get real sad when I think about what it must have been like growing up like That y'know!!! especially since I believe he legit just has some underlying mental health issues that he was never able to deal with and all the stress of growing up in satellite would have just made it so much worse for him ;-; just give this guy a therapist and some healthy coping mechanisms please ;-; also more specifically I think he has issues with self-perception and impulse control like I feel one night post crash town he decided he was sick of his hair being longer and he cut it back to a style more similar to what he had as a kid and suddenly he wasn't himself anymore he could just see the dark signer version of him and it Freaked Him Out. I headcanon he has a lot of difficulties reconciling everything that's happened to him because it was so much in such a short period of time so he Blocks It Out so he doesn't have to think about it. trauma sucks, man.

D: fuck canon - I THINK KALIN AND CARLY SHOULD BE FRIENDS AND I AM RIGHT. they were both sidelined in season 2 (other than crash town) and I think they deserve to hang out while everyone else is busy. I feel like they'd get along pretty well together in general actually. also kalin would be there to help carly when she starts remembering stuff about the dark signers (I think her just completely forgetting forever is Bullshit) and carly can help kalin out with readjusting to just being a living person basically lol. they're mlm/wlw solidarity (carly's bi) and kalin helps act as carly's wingman when she goes after jack. also they talk about Gender together because I headcanon carly as a trans woman and kalin as (masc-alligned) non-binary!!! friends!!!!!!! I love them both so fucking much

#OK SO THAT SAD HEADCANON IN PARTICULAR GOT LONG. MIGHT WRITE SMTH ABOUT THAT ACTUALLY #i just have. a lot of thoughts about kalin right now I'm sorry akfhdkfhmf #also another silly headcanon i have is that he listens to punk music yes this one is me projecting but i think it fits his vibes pretty well #another silly headcanon i have is that he doesn't really feel the cold. once again this is partially me projecting but it makes sense ok #because growing up in satellite he likely wouldn't have access to good quality winter clothes and heating in winter #and when you're in the cold so often you kinda just. start to get used to it i guess. so he doesn't really get cold anymore that easily #this post made by the #'i spent a lot of time ice skating as a kid and also i was broke a lot and indoor heating is Expensive so i just got used to the cold' gang #sorry this is so long i have brain worms sdkfjfkgjfkg #asks #millenniumpuzzle

[honeybunnybeez]

Headed to where home is

♡Genre: A little angst with fluff

♡Au Setting: Dad!Schlatt AU, AU where the war doesn't exist but tensions are still high and relationships are rather strained.

♡Tubbo x Parental!GN!reader (with Tommy and Ranboo x Parental!GN!reader sprinkled in) (PLATONIC)

♡Format: Fanfiction

♡Summary: Sometimes there are days where things at home make Tubbo feel uncomfortable and unsafe, when those days come he's quick to walk over to your place. Today is one of those days.

♡WARNING: Alcoholic parent! Read more placed in case this is triggering to some.

The sound of glass shattering and cursing has Tubbo waking up in an instant. He can hear two voices yelling at each other, his father's and a random woman's, it's one of those nights again he supposes. He reaches for the clock resting on his bedside table, it's one in the morning.

Would you even be awake at this hour? Probably not, so Tubbo tries his best to fall back asleep as the arguing continues.

Tick tock

Tick tock

Tick tock

Tick-

Another glass is heard, shattering hard against a wall and Tubbo decides that yup, he's going over to your place. He'll break a window to get in if he has to, surely he knows you'll understand, he just... has to get away for a while.

He has a backpack filled with things he needs for his short trip over to your place. He's done this many times before, he just hasn't done it this late at night before. Vines lay waiting outside of his windows, his father never noticing how easy it is for him to slip away thanks to how drunk he always is when coming home from work. After landing on safe ground once more, he takes his time on his trip over to your place, sword out and communicator on stand by in case something goes south.

It was 1:30 by the time he left and 2:15 by the time he arrived, he was exhausted sure, but at least he felt safe and at peace away from where he was supposed to call home. Your cabin was just a few meters away and he was quick to jog on over as fast as his tired legs could muster.

Knock knock knock

No answer just yet.

Knock knock knock

Huh, you must really be asleep, well, it is past 2 am. He glances over to the window by the door, he doesn't really want to break in but if he has to then...

Knock knock knock

"(Y/n), please open up the door," he pleads quietly to himself.

Knock knock-

The door opens up much to his genuine surprised, however it isn't you who answers, but Tommy.

"Tubbo? What are you doing here so late at night?" Tommy asks while rubbing his eyes tiredly, behind him he can see you start to walk over, looking just as tired as Tommy but with worry apparent in your eyes.

"I'm sorry, (y/n), for visiting so late but can I stay here for the night? It uh, another woman's around again and-" you stop him before he could say another word, quickly ushering him inside.

"Hey, it's okay, you don't have to explain it if you don't want to," he feels relief wash over him at your words, thankful you aren't mad at him and that he doesn't have to explain himself. It just gets tiring and embarassing to mention what your dad is did that made you want to run away so badly.

"Tommy, bring Tubbo over to the living room, I'm gonna get extra blankets for him," Tommy simply yawns loudly as a reply and drags Tubbo by the hand over to the living room where a few thick comforters are already placed down for them to lay their sleeping bags on. In a corner, Tubbo can see Ranboo snoring away with an eye mask covering his eyes, the sight is rather funny with the silly design on the mask.

"Any idea why Ranboo came over?" Tubbo asks while Tommy crawls back into his sleeping bag.

"No idea, he got here before me, (y/n) told me not to wake him up either," once Tommy gets comfortable again, he aggressively pats the large empty spot beside him. "Sleeping bag, here, now, there's space. You're sleeping here."

Tubbo rolls his eyes but gets his sleeping bag out anyways, placing it where Tommy wants him to, "So clingy."

"Shut up," but there's no bite in Tommy's words as he slowly drifts back off to sleep.

You come back a while later, holding a few stacks of blankets for Tubbo and the others in case it got too cold for them later on in the early morning.

"You need anything else, Tubbo? A drink, maybe?" He shakes his head, he doesn't want to trouble you anymore than he already has and he knows where everything is if he ever did need something.

"It's okay, (y/n), thank you," you nod and get ready to head back upstairs to your bedroom but before you can do so, Tubbo calls out your name. "Wait, there is one thing..."

You can only cock your head a little to the side, confused until you feel Tubbo wrap his arms around you, hugging you tight. It takes you a while to react, still a little sleepy, but you return his gesture back with no problem, hugging him just as tight.

"...Thank you, (y/n)..."

When he pulls away you lazily ruffle his hair a bit, smiling as you do so, "Hey, you never have to thank me for things like these, I just want you three feel safe."

Safe, yeah, he feels safe here, much safer than back at his father's place. Tommy, Ranboo and you are here to make him feel like everything's going to be okay and everything does feel okay.

"You sleep well, alright? I'll be up in my room if you ever need me," Tubbo nods and thanks you once more before heading over to where the other boys are. As he crawls into his sleeping bag he notices how quiet everything is besides Tommy's brief mumblings and Ranboo's snoring, it's the kind of quiet that feels familiar to him and helps him relax. He feels his eyes start to droop as he gets drowsier and drowsier with each passing second, he finally feels like its safe enough to sleep.

Finally, he's home.

A/N: Hello! I'm sorry for writing this little fic, I was having incredible writer's block and needed some sort of hurt comfort. This is based off one of the headcanons I wrote involving a parental reader. Definitely not one of my best works but I still hope you all enjoyed reading it!

(Requests are open and anon is on!)

#mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #dream smp x reader #dream smp imagine

[ha-hatdog]

haru kato hcs

- what is it like to be dating haru kato?

omg excited about this cuz i want me some haru content. pretty boi needs tons of love and affection. we need more haru kato content. i demand it!

requested by @beef-tomatoes : can you do haru kato dating headcanons. here you have the frog man🐸 < |> /\ the frog man says: have a nice day💖😌✌

requests open

__

first things first - congrats on getting this man to be your boyfriend because boy oh boy you gonna get the best domestic life ever

haru kato is a simple man with a simple life who knows his responsibilities so expect perfect husbando and waifu qualities

cooking for you is his favorite thing to do. he loves being able to alleviate your stress, especially after a particularly troubling day at work/university

he loves it when you cook for him too. it makes him feel special and his heart just soars. this man will not leave the kitchen just so he can watch you working your magic with ingredients and spice while wearing that dumb dreamy face. he holds himself back from sliding behind you and embracing you because you look so good with an apron for the reason he doesn't want to distract you but most of the time he just does it because you're too cute

if you know how to cook, he'll give you tips here and there but will leave you to your cooking majority of the time

if you can't cook, expect a full blown cooking lesson from him because he said he won't be able to cook for you all the time and he'll be damned if you always order take out or buy those just microwave packages in convenient stores

if your cooking turned out good, haru will eat seconds and thirds, complimenting you every now and then after gulping down what he was chewing. will definitely ask you to cook more for him and if you can't, he'll brush it off saying maybe next time but internally he was pouty because he wants more. probably thinking of marrying you already

if your cooking turned out bad, he will tell you it could use a little more work, offer himself to help you, but he'll still eat it because you made it for him aww. still probably thinking of marrying you

dates with haru is sort of rare. crime doesn't sleep and nor does he so most of your dates are at his place - just watching a movie and eating whatever he cooked

he always has to have a hand on you or an arm over your shoulder. gotta make sure you're really there

but if he does have time, he will take you out on a simple date that benefits both of your interests. haru won't say but he'll always lean more in your interests in dates because he feels so bad for depriving you of his quality time. this is how he silently atones, plys he buys you small and thoughtful gifts

remember when i said crime doesn't sleep nor does he? well, haru gets tired often. it was natural because of his field of work. haru will hesitate to go to your place because he needs some loving and some caring but doesn't want to be a bother so he calls you to ask permission before going

will want to sleep with you once he gets there but you force him to eat because he needs to he healthy to continue being a detective. he will grumble while you make him food but his heart is soft that you think about his well being

"my girlfriend is best girl" he whispers in a slur, trying to keep himself from falling asleep in the dining room while eating

will drag you to your bed after eating and will pull you down with him on the bed. haru will have his arms draped around you and snuggle in your chest. he will let out a content sigh if you snuggle back and run your fingers through his hair

haru just want cuddles with his girlfriend after a hard day at work. spoil him please

haru will be happy if he wakes up and you're still in his arms but will scoff if you are not. haru will stand up no matter how tired he still is and drag you back to bed to continue your cuddle

tell me haru won't try pranking you and feeling bad after it

head pats while saying "sorry babe, i didn't mean to, i'm sorry, yes yes, i'll be a better boyfriend from now on. come here and give me a hug"

whenever you two bathe together, he loves it when you clean his back because he can feel the stress go bye bye with your soft fingers

he washes your hair and he sometimes tries to make stupid hairstyles with your lathered tresses and you'll always rate them

most of the times you take baths together, it is nonsexual. he just appreciates you being there

but haru will slip in a few rounds whenever you two feel like getting it on

soft dom but probs hiding a few kinks

forehead kisses is his favorite because he gets to see your happy face looking up at him whenever he pulls away

haru is definitely a tease whenever you try to kiss him - lips, cheeks, forehead, neck - you can't reach any of them even if you go on your tip toes because he's tall. he won't bend down so you can kiss him because you look so adorable trying so hard to give him love and affection

he'll probably be the one to kiss you after a few minutes of teasing. he can't help it. you look so cute

gah his heart is full

when haru gets jealous, he is irritated. he will come up to you, an annoyed glare on his face, and taking your hand.

haru goer grrr my baby but i won't hurt you or anything because my baby finds it bad but i'm warning you -

when you're the one who's jealous, he finds it amusing

he smothers his grin when you get adorably protective of him

he teases you about it but hugs you after to affirm that this man ain't going anywhere

laundry days are messy, messier than when the two of you have food fights

you two keep throwing drenched clothes or bubbles or water at one another

haru is merciless with laundry throwing fights

expect a shirt thrown swiftly at your face with a resounding SMACK

this boy ain't losin to laundry throwing fights

you always stop by the precint whenever you can just to visit haru

he used to hate it because his coworkers always flock around you whenever you come by but soon grew to love it because you seem to enjoy being around them and you gain nee friends

he'll talk you through his work process and he's very proud whenever you go all ooh ahh so cool because he has an ego and loves that you are interested in his work as much as he does to yours

he tries to be professional whenever at work but he'll sneak in a few kisses if he think nobody is looking. but not you tho, you kiss him whenever you want and wherever you want

someone is always looking so he gets teased quite a lot by his coworkers and he gets all blushy and tsundere aww

hugs with haru are always tight knit. the reason? because he loves holding you, that's literally it

did i mention piggy back rides? no? well, haru doesn't do them unless necessary like you're super tired or got a sprain but jump on his back and kiss him on top of his head and nyoom you are now on a piggy back ride

haru is a huge fan of discounts and coupons so you always have to help him find the best item there is that is discounted or you have coupons for

you gave him a small notebook to keep all his coupons and his face just goes (⊙o⊙)

hand holding in the market while shopping. he won't let you go until you're at the cashier because last time he let you get some items alone, he ended up going to the intercom to call for you

"y/n where are you? i just told you to get a soap and find me at the dairy section."

but he don't mind tho because it's a good excuse to keep you close to him

arguing over which product - any product at all - is better to buy. sorry to say this but haru wins all the time. you swear, this man has a sixth sense for which items to buy

arguments with haru is . . . well maybe that's for another time

but silly arguments with haru is common. fights over who gets to clean the dishes, who makes the bed, which movie or series is better, which cop movie superior, which food to eat, who is the big spoon - but they're all fun snd games

haru will make sure to win as the big spoon tho because again, he has a hidden ego and his heart swells when he sees how tiny you are compared to him

getting drunk with haru is always a rollercoaster. he's a rambling drunk? well, you're the agree with everything drunk

"the floor is too cold. why is it always cold? i just want warmth and peace" cue haru sliding on the floor with a red face because of the alcohol. he's very at ease with you so being stupid and childish is norm for him

"yes, yes, i agree, the floor is always cold. bad floor, you're making haru sad" then you slide with him on the floor

haru turns to you "you don't make me sad"

you turn to him "yes, i make you happy"

you two are just a pair of drunk lovebirds

patch him up when he gets hurt in his work

he won't feel much pain if it's you who's patching him up

he doesn't why but that's that

kiss his boo boos he likes them he's an actual bab for you

haru will always bring you to work/university. it doesn't matter if he is late as long as gets you there

actually it matters that he is late. he just never tells you so you won't tell him to stop. that's why once you're out of sight, after you exchange goodbyes snd kisses, you bet your ass he's speeding through the streets to get to the precint in time (got tickets from speeding but he hides them from you but you'll find out eventually lmao)

since he is a cop/detective, of course he had a gun. he won't bring it to your place but whenever you're at his place or at the precint, he'll allow you to hold it, with him supervising of course, and he'll probably teach you how to fire a gun in a range

will catch you whenever you suffer the recoil of pulling the trigger

will pull a cheesy line like "falling for me now, huh?"

when daisuke joins the precint, haru is less than thrilled

since you always visit him and he became partners with daisuke, that meant you have meet to this rich bastard

and he doesn't like it because

1) he's rich af

2) he's somewhat arrogant

3) he doesn't want to admit it but daisuke is handsome

he is 101% fuming when he sees you talking to daisuke than him. his mind reverts back to all those times you always talk to him in the precint when in reality you were just talking to daisuke for 3 minutes

haru is overdramatic and

insecure

he's scared that you'll leave him for daisuke

daisuke has everything. money, looks, fame - he can't even buy you something extravagant. he's still saving up for your birthday, doing overtime and stuff while still buying you small gifts when daisuke can just give you the whole world with a snap of his finger

it'll eat him up alive

he just wants to spend the rest of his life with you but maybe you'll be happier with daisuke?

when you learned this, you just burst out of tears because

this baby is sad and scared of losing you

so you did something to make him assured you only want him and planning to be with him always

haru has always insisted that you move in with him after a year of being together

and then you show up at his place with your stuff and saying "I'll grab more of my stuff tomorrow so help me move in"

haru has never been so happy and excited that he cooked a whole feast for the two of you

you two gets stomachaches the day after

so you stay in his bed the whole day being lazy and snuggling

haru turned off his phone when daisuke was calling him because duh he's spending precious time with his lovely girlfriend

in conclusion, haru kato is whipped for you

oh, by the way, you and daisuke partnered up to mess with haru and now haru has one less braincell because it decided to be best friends with the braincell that always has money in its disposal

"she better be happy i love her"

haru loves you vewy mooch

#haru kato #haru kato x reader #haru katou #fugou keiji x reader #fuguo keiji #balance unlimited #anime #daisuke kambe x reader #daisuke kambe #the millionaire detective #the millionare detective balance: unlimited #fuguo keiji balance unlimited #haru katou x reader #haru katō #x reader #anime x reader #fuguo keiji x reader

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SHOUTOUT TO THE TWO PEOPLE WHO

ASKED FOR THIS; YOU KNOW WHO YOU

ARE ♡

LET'S BE HONEST, I WAS GONNA POST THIS ANYWAY

BUT NOW I HAVE A REASON LOL

JIROUSHI HEADCANONS.

IF YOU DIDN'T SEE THE POST THAT

INSPIRED THIS, CLICK HERE

FOR CONTEXT!

gay gay homosexual gay

DISCLAIMER BUDDY IS BACK WITH

ANOTHER MESSAGE FOR YOU

TO READ BEFORE YOU CONTINUE ON!

!!!Please note!!! All of the things stated in this blog are my own personal opinions and not meant to imply canon. My purpose is spilling out some headcanons for a crack ship cause it makes me happy. If you don't like this ship, feel free to ignore this post! Thank you and enjoy :)

*And if you guys wanna add onto this with your own headcanons for them, I would love that so much <33

///

These are in no particular order, just whatever comes to mind! I'll try to keep somewhat of a timeline in the beginning, but a fully-fleshed out, AO3 fanfic style timeline is a whole post by itself. (I'll gladly type that out too if you think you'll enjoy it 🥴) Creds to my friend for helping me out with some of this!!!

So without further adieu,

let's get into these headcanons!

///

RANDOM HEADCANONS ;

*Short and sweet, no particular order.

• They both love My Chemical Romance; Jiro's favorite album is Danger Days and Jyushi's is Welcome To The Black Parade. (another shoutout to my MCR fans.)

• Jiro plays MCR songs on his guitar for Jyushi to cheer him up.

• Jiro tried to teach Jyushi to play soccer, but he cried went he got mud on his boots and Jiro decided it would be better if Jyushi just watched instead.

• They read Junji Itō together on rainy days, usually accompanied by a blanket and tea that Ichiro made for them.

• They both have AO3 & Wattpad accounts for the sake of reading all the horrible fanfictions and giggling over them.

• Despite really enjoying each other's company, they still bicker like they did when they fake dated.

• Ichiro is proud of his brother for finally finding someone who he can spend time wish, while Kuko is completely disgusted by the fact Jyushi has a date. ( /lh ) Parents.

• Jiro once texted Ichiro, verbatim, "Can u tell your boyfriend's emo friend to text me back" and Ichiro left him on read.

• They once went on a double date with Ichiro and Kuko and I'm sure everyone can imagine how horrible and awkward that turned out.

• They are avid Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution players and usually have competitions to see who can score higher.

• Jyushi gave Jiro a wolf stuffed animal to match with Amanda and Jiro falls asleep with it in arms reach every night.

• Jyushi is a vegetarian and Jiro always remembers to get him something meat-free when they go out to eat.

TIMELINE HEADCANONS ;

• Jiro and Jyushi originally didn't like each other very much; Jiro thought Jyushi might be as stuck-up as everyone says he was, and Jyushi assumed that Jiro thought that. They didn't avoid one another, but they definitely didn't go out of their ways to interact.

• They were in a fake relationship for a few weeks, just because they were tired of being teased for constantly being alone. It happened at a high school dance, when Jiro went to sit on the bleachers and saw Jyushi sitting there too. He decided to sit next to him and it caused them to bicker back and forth for a while, then it dissolved into them devising a plan to "fake date". (If y'all want that extended timeline post...)

cont. : When they were around other people, like walking down the hallway, they would very begrudgingly hold hands. Jiro comments about how cold Jyushi's hands are and Jyushi snaps back with something like, "Well, your hands are clammy- s-so. . . Shut up!" This would inevitably lead to them bickering, shushing each other, smiling awkwardly at the people around them, shared glare, and repeat.

• They only really started to like each other's company when they realized that they had none in common than they thought. In canon, Jiro loves manga and Jyushi likes alternative fashion (visual kei), so naturally one of the things they had in common was owning Junji Itō mangas. They also share similar music taste, My Chemical Romance being the main one. ;)) This was found out when Jyushi went to Jiro's place for the first time. It was necessarily planned, but in a moment of worry they made plans to hang out within earshot of the other students. Jyushi didn't really pick up on the fact it was just a show and showed up at Jiro's place later that day.

• Their first official date happened partly because they realized they may actually have feelings for one another, and because the questions about how long they'd been together, how many dates they'd been on, how they met from their classmates became unavoidable. Since both of them are pretty terrible liars, they decided the only way to get out of this was an actual date. . . Were they lowkey flirting then? Absolutely.

• Because they're both teenagers with not much in the way of an income other than their rap groups, their first date was at a foodcart. The place was too crowded and loud for Jyushi's liking, and Jiro being the natural gentleman he is offered to buy their meals so Jyushi could get away from the noise.

cont. // slight writing bonus : Jyushi sits on a stairway away from the foodcarts, looking at the bright lights of the Shinjuku division. It doesn't take long for Jiro to return with their food--burgers. Jiro digs around in the paper bag containing their food awkwardly for a moment before pulling one out and handing it to Jyushi.

Jyushi hesitates as well, but eventually takes it from Jiro, who only then sits down next to him on the stairwell. He sits closer than Jyushi would have expected. Jyushi huffes, pulling back the wrapping of the burger, he turns to Jiro with a slightly annoyed expression, opening his mouth to speak;

"You know, I'm vegetarian. . . -"

"I know. It-it's a veggie burger."

Jyushi closes his mouth again and a small blush creeps over his face. His and Jiro's eyes meet for a moment,

"Oh. . . Well, thank you. . ."

and then he looks away before taking a quick bite of the burger in order to hide his face.

It seemed silly. . . though, no one had ever been that observant or caring toward him.

HEYYYY......I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE IT TO THE END BECAUSE I AM CURRENTLY FINISHING THIS @ 3AM <33

THESE ARE SOSOSOSO FUN TO DO,, ESPECIALLY THAT STORY WRITING BIT AT THE END--I'M 100% DOWN TO POST A MINI FIC,, + MORE DETAIL AS WELL 👀👀👀

I'M A CLOUT-CHASER SO IF YOU GUYS WANNA LIKE/REBLOG/FOLLOW, I'LL LOVE YA TO DEATH,,, 💖