#another ​bad thing he did was lie to Thor for no reason and even then it wasn’t a permanent solution and Thor benefitted from it in the end

[fluffyfantasticducky]

Focus on the Good

☆ Pairing: Loki x Reader

☆ Synopsis: Loki is overwhelmed dealing with being accused as a traitor, although this time he's innocent. But this time, he is not the man he used to be, and he has you by his side.

☆ Word Count: 5,110

☆ Notes: The relatively awaited part two of Smile for me. Sorry I took so long to post this, I had a creative block and had trouble deciding what to focus on. The traitor plot twist is anticlimatic but I chose to focus more on Loki and his feelings.

☆ Warnings: Loki dealing with self hatred, insinuations and caresses that aren't spicy per se but are a bit more intimate and flirty but it's all sfw.

Frustrating. How else could he call it?

His first mission as a leader was a complete disaster. You had gotten hurt due to his own incompetence. And add some insult to this pathetic situation, now he was being investigated for treason to S.H.I.E.L.D. despite that he was completely innocent.

It must have been some sick twisted joke of fate. He spent years playing with Asgard like a fiddle, getting away with so much, to the point that where he committed treason everyone realized only when it was too late. And now that he had a reason to make things right, be transparent and honest, now he was investigated as if he was some traitor.

The most offensive thing of those implications was that it suggested that Loki was either using you or lying to you. When in reality he would die for you, he’d walk through fire if you asked him. Or that you were complicit of his ‘crimes.’ You, you who were the kindest, sweetest, most righteous person he had ever met.

Every day or two days at most they come to either interrogate you, him, or inspect your shared room which always left them a mess to clean up.

At least the people he cared about knew he was innocent. Thor was constantly arguing with Fury, going over and over about how this was nonsensical and even offering Loki to flee to New Asgard for a few days until things calmed down. Valkyrie had offered him an extra room if he needed. Bruce, while he wasn’t as passionate about defending Loki, agreed that it made very little sense that Loki would betray them now with all he had accomplished. Even the great Tony Stark agreed between sarcastic jokes that he would’ve believed if he hadn’t seen how down bad, he was for you.

You… what would he do without you? You not only got into mad arguments and made abundantly clear your distaste for this decision, but you were his biggest source of support and peace after all the draining routine he was being put through during the suspension from missions. You were a risk taker by disobeying direct orders from Fury by asking Thor, Bruce, Nat, Clint to trade with you during missions as to make a strike until they decided to reintegrate Loki to his normal duties. And for the first week of interrogations, whenever it was your turn… Norns, he felt a bit bad for the director. You were quite loud and fierce when you wanted to be.

But most importantly, all the support he got from you after all the interrogations and room inspections that hurt him more than he’d ever admit.

“I’m sorry…” he sighed, resting his head on your lap.

In between the inspections to your shared bedroom one of the agents had broken a little figurine you collected.

“It’s just a toy, I’ll get another one…” you assured him.

Loki could sense a lie. But he also remembered how excited you had been when you got it, saying it was rare and it had taken you a huge effort to get it.

“You darling prince…” you spoke softly, running your fingers through his hair. “It’s okay. We know you’re innocent, soon all of S.H.I.E.L.D. will see it too. Everything else doesn’t matter.”

“What did I do so right to deserve such a pretty angel such as you?” he chuckled. “You are unfairly good to me.”

“You keep saying that baby.” You spoke gently, tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear. “You sound like a broken record.”

“I might be one” he shrugged, closing his eyes.

“Yeah?” you giggled. “Then I’ll just have to fix you.”

“I thought you said the I can fix him was a toxic mentality in romance” he said cheekily.

“Oh, now you remember my movie rants” you laughed. “But the I can fix him trope is toxic when—”

“…It is used by the abuser who manipulates them into staying as a rehabilitation center. A partner should be part of your support group but never the responsible to fix you, but a motivation and helping hand while you fix yourself.” He opened his eyes to look up at you as he finished repeating your old rant word by word. “I always remember the things you say.”

“Is that so? When is our anniversary?”

“June 9” Loki smiled and noticed you opening your mouth to retort. “And our 1,000 days together is on March 5th year. And yes, I knew you were going to ask that.”

“Smart pants” you smiled.

“You love me like that.”

“I do” you smiled and kissed his lips softly. “Guess you don’t need fixing after all.”

“Glad we agree, I am the most perfect man” he grinned, relishing the way you cringed and smiled at the silly joke.

“I don’t know about that.” You smiled, “But you are perfect for me.”

You pecked his lips and made him smile.

“I don’t deserve you…” he smiled.

“Oh, that’s it!” you laughed and soon your hands where all over his sides.

And sooner than that Loki was laughing his head off.

“Hehe- hey!” he protested between laughs.

You had an annoying charm. Tickling him silly as a pseudo-punishment. It was your shared secret how much Loki enjoyed being tickled. You stopped soon enough, smiling at him, caressing your thumb across his cheek.

“It’ll pass before you notice…” you whisper. “They will see exactly what you truly are. Just like I do.”

Loki chuckled softly.

“I hope not, you are a handful already” he smirked at the offended look on your face due to his comment.

“Oh, you want to talk about a handful…” you growled as you flipped to straddle him. “Let’s see how much of a handful I can be…”

Loki gulped, unable to fight a smile.

“Ahah…” he huffed, “darling, d-don’t… d-dohohohon’t!”

But your hands were already attacking his sides, your fingers skillfully scribbling along his skin, prodding his ribs, drilling along each crevice in the most maddening way.

���Is that enough handful for you, huh?” you asked in a faux anger. “Eh? Is it?”

“Thihihihihihis is cruel!” Loki protested. “And thahahahat doesn’t mahahake sehehense!”

“Mmm, it might have just been excuse to get my hands on this hot bod of yours” you smiled.

Being tickled was already a vulnerable moment for Loki. To the point where only you could tickle him without any resistance. Anyone else would need to overpower him physically or just restrain him. You, on the other side, he would barely fight back. He’d simply squirm in his place, rolling over to the side or on his stomach. Which it gave you more of a sensation that he just wanted you to focus on other spots. Not that he'd ever admit… you had tried.

“Ehehehe! You ahahahaha— wait no!” he protested as your fingers reached his stomach, giving it little pinches and pokes. “Lohohohove, stop!”

“Alright, alright.” You smiled and kissed his forehead as you stopped the tickling. “Is your mood better?”

“Ihi— if I say yes will you stop torturing my stomach?” he smiled at you, holding onto your hips. “You know I can’t take it there.”

The way you leaned against his chest to kiss his lips never failed to drive him wild. And this wasn’t the exception.

“I am aware” you hummed against his lips. “That’s why it’s my favorite spot to tickle.”

“I am, unfortunately, also aware of that” he chuckled.

“If you really minded it, you’d actually do something to stop me instead of just laughing your heart out.”

“I love it when a beautiful mortal has their hands all over me, is that something to be ashamed about?” he grinned cheekily at you.

You rolled your eyes and smiled. “It wouldn’t be if you were still single. But you are stuck with me now and forgive me if I’m not good at sharing my boyfriend. Unless you’d share me with others.”

“That is out of the question. You are mine, and mine alone.” He said solemnly as he held you in his arms. You lifted your eyebrows, expectantly as he felt his cheeks warm up under your gaze. “As… I am yours; I suppose.”

“Was that so hard to say?” you smiled.

“Terribly so” Loki smiled. But then, his face adopted a serious, melancholic expression. “I’m sorry… I should not be dragging you into this disaster. You deserve better, and I fear you will realize that. It would be best for you, but… I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Lucky for you, that’s not something you have to worry about” you assured him, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. I am perfectly happy with you.”

One thing that Loki loved about your relationship was that despite knowing you said stuff to made him feel better, it never came off as dishonest, as if those two concepts weren’t mutually exclusive. You said the kindest, most loving things, and he could tell you honestly felt every single one.

It made his heart soar. That honest and kind heart of yours was exactly what he had been craving for. You were what he had been looking for.

It made him want to open his heart to you. You were kind and listened to him without judging or thinking the worst of him.

“What am I going to do?” he sighed. “If I can’t go on missions, soon I will not be allowed to go outside, and then I will be going back to being a high-class prisoner.”

“Actually… you can’t leave the building given you’re under investigation” you said apologetically. “Sorry.”

“Lovely…” he groaned, throwing his head back, rubbing his face with his palms. “I am back to being a prisoner. Might as well get inside a cell.”

“Yes, we could tie you up, and torture you until you confess” you purred, trailing kisses along his jawline, as your hands made their way to play with his hair.

“You’re making it sound appealing” he hummed, relishing the feeling of your lips against his skin. “Mmm~ Keep touching me like that and I’ll do anything you ask.”

“Mm, what a good boy” you giggled, kissing his lips.

He laughed along with you, but mostly because your hands had found his ears and were tickling behind them.

“W-Whahahat are you doing? T-That tickles!” he laughed.

“I told you I would torture an answer out of you” you giggled, tickling the back of his ears. “Now confess, you war criminal!”

“Nohohoho, stohop it!” he squirmed underneath you. “How is thahahat spot so bahahad?”

“Right?” you chuckled, pressing loving kisses along his face. “I found out the other day while we were kissing.”

He grabbed your wrists. “Oh really?” he smirked, and trapped your wrists in one of his hands as he began tickling your ear shell and behind it. It took absolutely nothing to have you giggling like a kid.

“Ehehehe! L-Loki!” you giggled. “Hehehe! I-It tickles!”

“It does, does it not?” he chuckled.

He traced along the outline of your ear. He relished the way you laughed against him, you never tried to get away nor asked him to stop. You loved that closeness as much as Loki did.

“Mmm, that laugh of yours is so lovely~” he hummed as he stopped, tucking a few streaks of hair behind your ear. “It’s my favorite sound in the whole world, you make me so happy.”

“Cheesy” you chuckled, kissing his lips.

“I mean that, darling” he smiled. “Without you I would have gone mad by now. Or worse, I would be a prisoner.”

“You can’t believe that…” you spoke softly.

“What else am I supposed to believe?” he sighed, “what I did to New York is unforgivable. I should be locked up for life, I was going to be… It’s what I deserve. It took me too long to understand it.”

It broke your heart to hear him talk like that. It was a shame that he still punished himself so badly. You appreciated that he recognized his error, but the fact that it haunted him was painful to watch. He was already working on getting better.

“Loki… Your beef with Earth had its particular and complicated circumstances, it wasn’t 100% your fault.” You assured him. “But even if that was, there are other ways to atone for your mistakes… Punishing yourself but you were helping Earth, compensation is another way of redemption. Being an Avenger is a way to redeem yourself.”

“How do you do it?” he chuckled, “How do you manage to look at all the awful things I have done and still somehow see the best in me?”

“Because I’ve also seen how much you regret it, and I’ve seen you trying to prove to everyone, prove to yourself that you are doing better.” you spoke lovingly. “That means a lot, to me, to Thor, to everyone.”

“But why?” he asked. “What I did is…”

“Fucked up, yes. Tony and Bruce created a genocidal robot, Clint was an international criminal prisoner and retook as an assassin, Steve and Natasha were literal war criminals, your brother before you nearly started a war—”

“That I provoked him into.”

“Would you do it again?” you asked.

“For the sake of entertainment—” Loki pondered.

“Loki!” you giggled.

“I’m jesting, love!” he laughed. “Earth is no good in wars like Asgard, we fight to settle disagreements, make alliances, or get respect. But never to destroy.”

“We’re not so bad…” you smiled.

“Not all of you, no.” Loki agreed. “You for once are a wonderful mor— human. Smart, beautiful, funny, kind… It’s the people on the higher power that worry me.”

“It’s as they say, absolute power corrupts absolutely” you shrugged. “That’s what we fight for. For those without power, and against those who abuse it.”

“You say that as I remain locked in here, simply training and withering away” Loki sighed.

“Well… we can find something interesting to keep you occupied—”

“Reindeer games, out now!” Tony banged on the door.

“Not now Stark!” Loki called annoyed.

“You’ll want to see this.” Tony spoke through the other side of the door.

You stood up and Loki followed right after. Everyone was headed to the meeting room so that’s where you went to.

Bruce and Thor had one of the younger cadets, Philip. He was struggling against the two. His blonde hair was a mess and he looked like he had lost a fight.

“We found our traitor, brother.” Thor said firmly, even a bit prideful. “The little rat sabotaged our missions.”

“A double agent?” Steve asked.

“Self-sabotage” Bruce clarified. “He informed the base you were going. Who and when. And exactly how to take down a god. We found a report of the mission sent to an unknown address.”

“I found it.” Natasha stated.

“You?” Clint raised an eyebrow.

“We” she corrected herself.

“With my technology, that is.” Tony added. “In case anyone was wondering.”

“No one was wondering that, Tony” Steve smiled lightly, amused by the genius’ ego.

“But why? You were the only non-Avenger agent Loki chose personally” Thor asked. “My brother trusted you. And it was a wonderful opportunity for you.”

Fury looked… well, furious.

“Philip Crowe, you’re immediately and effectively removed from all S.H.I.E.L.D. work and installations, permanently for treason, espionage, and sabotage to an elite strike agent.” Fury said firmly.

“Elite?! He’s a monster!” the young man protested, struggling to break free from the arm lock. “It’s a time bomb! It’s in his nature! You’ve seen what he’s capable of! It’s a matter of time before we have New York part two! You’ve read myths, what guarantees that there won’t be a Ragnarök on Earth?! He—”

SMACK! He had been cut off by a slap in the face by you. If the stinging in his cheek was not enough to silence him, your cold glare silenced him.

“Take him away.” You said. “I want him rotting in a cell for a really long time…”

“Oh, he will be locked in the dark for a very long time” Fury agreed, “for espionage, and sabotage… And being an asshole as a whole.”

Thor was about to take him away. He was struggling to break free.

“Don’t.” Loki spoke up. “I’ll use a spell to delete his memories, about S.H.I.E.L.D. about the Avengers. Everything will be gone from his mind. He can live a normal life not remembering being an agent.”

Loki walked and looked down at him. Placed his hand on his forehead as the blond struggled. Loki let his Seidr flow and Philip’s body went limp.

“When he wakes up, he’ll be normal, he can have a normal life, he won’t be a risk for S.H.I.E.L.D.” he sighed and left the room.

Flowers bloomed under him as he sat by the lake. Just enjoying the familiar view. But not even that brought him any joy.

“Loki, there you are, honey.”

“Hello mother” Loki smiled. “I was just… thinking.”

“I thought you would be happy to get your naming” Frigga said. “You were excited this morning to receive your title.”

“God of Mischief, mother?” he asked. “Does that mean I’m supposed to cause trouble?”

“Is that so bad?”

“Will father get upset at me?” Loki asked. “Besides, you like annoying your brother.”

“Pranking Thor is different. Why could I be the God of rain, wind, or something, then Thor and I could be gods together.”

“You can’t revolve your personality around Thor. Your godly title is meant to reflect your personality, not your brother’s” Frigga smiled at him gently. “Your father gave you a title that would fit you.”

“Does father think I’m a bad son?” he asked.

“I think your father thinks you’re creative, smart, with good abilities to get away with what you want” Frigga assured him. “All qualities you do have. And you are quite cheeky.”

Loki chuckled weakly. Frigga smiled and picked up a purple flower and wiggled it against Loki’s face. Causing the young god to scrunch up his nose and swat the pretty flower away.

“You know, son. I think it’s time for you to start learning magic” Frigga said.

“But you said I had to wait until I was 500 years old” Loki asked.

“I think you’re ready” Frigga said, “You’re 250 years old already, and you just got your title. You are a big boy now.”

With a few elegant movements the violet on Frigga’s hands turned into a purple frog that jumped out of hands and into the pond. Loki giggled as his mother’s arms trapped him into a hug as she tickled his sides.

“Pretty memory” you looked at him as you sat next to him. “Your mom is pretty.”

“Most beautiful woman in all of Asgard” Loki agreed. “Do you know what Orvokki means?”

“Uhh, it’s a violet, right?” you said looking at the flowers around the lake.

“It can also be interpreted as little orphan. How ironic that it was my favorite flower as a child…” Loki grumbled.

He flicked his wrist and the illusion of his memory vanished. He was no longer in Asgard, he was sitting on the rooftop of the compound’s main building. He wasn’t with his mother. And his eyes were red from crying.

“That was really nice thing you did back there” you congratulated him as you rubbed circles across his back.

“Not bad for a monster, huh?” Loki huffed out, in a failed attempt to fake out a laugh. “Did you see the way he looked at me? The fear in his eyes…?”

“Don’t listen to him…” you said resting your head against his shoulder. “He never gave you a chance to prove how good you really are. That’s his problem, not yours.”

“I can’t blame him… I would not trust me either… I am a monster, I was a monster to my people, to my home…” he sighed.

“What? No, Loki…”

“My birth father abandoned me to die, I was raced by a kingdom that thought my kind were monsters…” Loki sighed, “and I caused so much pain and death to a Realm that could’ve seen me as something quite literally divine.”

You looked at him and squeezed his hand.

“I thought… I hoped I had a second chance, I wanted to believe people were already accepting me. I thought that if I could have at least one agent to trust me… How foolish of me…”

“Stop that…” you scolded him, giving his hand a gentle and loving squeeze. “You’re not a monster. No one sees you as a monster.”

Loki laughed bitterly. While you weren’t lying in the literal sense, you were being too kind, blinded by your affection for the young Asgardian to acknowledge the recent events.

“I mean it!” you said. “You’re so focused on one person thinking you’re a monster, that you fail to see what everyone else did because they believed in you. They all helped in their own way to prove you were innocent. Either tracking conversation, providing resources… Gosh, even director Fury trusted you were innocent.”

“I…” Loki recapped the events from earlier. You weren’t wrong.

“Besides, you know how picky I am when it comes to dating” you smiled, “I wouldn’t date just anyone. Is that not enough for you?”

Loki was silent for a moment, for once he didn’t even have a smart reply for that.

He had seen you turn down a couple of agents or staff members before the two of you started dating. Philip among the lines of the rejected. In fact, he remembered that during that time where the other Avengers noticed his feelings for you, some of them tried to discourage him from courting you, because “you didn’t date.” In fact, they had brought it up, on his face to prove it so. You were, in fact, very picky when it came to dating. Which just made him value your relationship even more. It gave him a huge confidence boost, and the security of not being replaced or overshadowed he so desperately had been needing.

And once again, you were that source of comfort and security. You were his sweet little balm.

“I… um…” he stuttered.

You chuckled and kissed his cheek.

“Tongue tied?” you teased him, making him groan in frustration as his cheeks turned a light shade of pink. “Just… don’t give him power over you, if he didn’t bother knowing you, he shouldn’t deserve such a space in your mind.”

“Thanks, love” he smiled softly. “For… looking after me. And… helping me see that others look after me.”

“Heh… I’m glad I helped” you spoke lovingly as you rubbed your nose against his neck.

He chuckled rested his cheek against the top of your head.

“Should we head inside?” you asked, rubbing your own arms, as you stood up “it’s a bit chilly out here.”

“You can go inside, love” Loki offered. “I need some time alone.”

You looked at him worried, but a gust of cold wind made you shiver, making the idea of going inside more and more appealing. But he saw the hesitation in your eyes, the way you didn’t want to leave him alone made him smile.

“I promise I’ll meet you inside later” he assured you. But you didn’t look too convinced “Make some tea for us, and I’ll meet you in our room before you’re done putting on your pajamas.”

You gave him a look he couldn’t quite decipher but you nodded and made your way inside.

He relished the fresh air. But as he mentally prepared to be burdened with his failure, he surprised himself smiling. His mind wasn’t clouded with the young spy that betrayed him.

All he could think was that all the original Avengers, those he had cursed himself for unintentionally helping assemble to defeat him… now had stood up for him. And it didn’t stop there.

His mind was filled with happy memories.

All the times he had gotten a pat in the back from Tony and being called his new favorite for teasing Steve’s righteous stiffness and the way Bucky and Sam snickered at it. As well as his training contests with the super soldiers to test their serum with Loki and Thor’s godly nature. How he beamed with pride at the blond’s praise after a mission. The way Natasha and her little sister acknowledge his ability to infiltrate and swoon targets and even required him specifically. How Clint and his little new protegee had gotten really happy when Loki gifted them his old Asgardian bows for them, despite the teasing when they saw right through his “I don’t even use them” excuse and treated for dinner after. Bruce acknowledging his observation capabilities during some of his experiments. Thor… who despite all the awful things they had gone through never abandoned him, and still saw Loki as his baby brother, and despite they refused to admit it, both still adored each other.

And you. You had stolen his heart from minute one. He had been hopeless before the first kiss or even a declaration. Your eyes brought him to his knees, and he had sworn to be at your mercy for the rest of his existence when he saw you smile. And with that power you had over him done nothing but nourish him. Your payback when he pestered you was always fun and harmless. You made him laugh. You listened to everything he said and always encouraged him to keep talking until he was hoarse. You gave him the attention he had been craving for so many years. You treated him as the most important being of the universe.

Honestly, he didn’t realize when his thoughts had set him in motion. But by the time he was aware of his actions, he was already turning the doorknob of your shared bedroom.

“Liar” you scoffed, throwing a teddy bear to his face as soon as he set foot inside the room. “You said you’d be here before I was done putting on my jammies, but it’s been 5 minutes since I got in bed, and you weren’t here.”

Loki couldn’t help but smile. For a secret agent, you were terrible at hiding your feelings… at least from him.

“I apologize for not keeping my word, love” he apologized as he took off his shirt and searched through his drawer for the pajama he wanted to wear. “I lost track of time.”

“Did you drink?” you asked him.

“I did not. I trusted my favorite thing to make me tea” he responded with an innocent look as he put on his pajama shirt.

“It’s on your night table” you responded with the slightest pout, knowing you it was because he saw right through you.

He walked to the warm mug and took a sip. Of course, you had prepared his favorite tea… and with extra honey, just the way he liked. Everyone always complained there would never be enough for everyone if you kept spoiling Loki with his favorite all the time. You always got more, but it just meant starting the cycle again.

“Thank you, dear” he smiled as he kneeled on the bed to reach and cup your face to kiss your cheek.

Oh, how he wanted to tackle you and cover you in kisses at the way you fought and lost against the smile that appeared on your lovely face along with a light shade of pink.

“So adorable…” he chuckled.

As he was taking off his pants, he saw the way your blush turned even darked. He rushed to put on the pajama pants and dove in the bed, wrapping his arms around you in a loving embrace with his chest against your back.

“You’re in a lovely mood” you smiled as you reached to caress his cheek. “What gives?”

“I just thought about a lovely little mortal” he hummed pressing soft kisses on your nape, “that makes my darkest days bright and cozy.”

“Do you have a fever or something?” you touched his forehead.

“No, I mean it!” he laughed. “I stayed back to think… and all I could think about was your love, your kindness, and this hot body of yours…”

As he spoke that last bit, he reached to caress your sides, making you giggle.

“Loki…!” you giggle swatting his hand away. “You’re asking for trouble.”

“You know I am” he whispered, resting his face against your shoulder. Taking in your scent, closing his eyes as he relaxed. “Norns, what would I do without you?”

“Probably snuggle your pillow tonight” you smiled. “But you’d be fine.”

“I would not…” Loki choked up, as he felt tears forming in his eyes. “I would be lost; I would be absolutely nothing without you. A monster…”

“No, no, baby…” you spoke softly, turning around to face him. “You’ve worked really hard to be better… That’s all you, you are utterly and undoubtedly wonderful…”

The way you always made him feel better was almost scary. Your word was law. If you said he was so good, then… perhaps he wasn’t as bad as he thought.

“I love you…” he whispered. “Thank you…”

“What for?”

“For being my second chance… For believing I was more than the man that caused so much pain to your people…”

“Second chances are earned, Loki” you said. “You’ve earned it.”

He laughed softly when you rose up to sit on his waist, straddling him with your legs as you gave him a pseudo-menacing look.

“Now speak poorly of my sweet cuddly honeybun and you will be sorry…” you said in the worse threatening tone he had ever heard.

He cringed and laughed softly at the overly cheesy pet name.

“Oh gods…” he muttered with a shaky smile as his lips twitched upwards, amused by the situation. “You goofball.”

You let out an offended gasp and started tickling his sides, immediately making him giggle like a child.

“W-Wait! Dahahaharling! I’m sohohohohohrry!” he whined between laughs.

“Nope! Sorry ain’t gonna cut it this time, you insult me, you insult my prince… you deserve being chastised” you said playfully as you tickled his belly, which always made him hysterical.

“NAHAHAHA! STOP! STOP! PLEHEHEHEHEASE!” he cackled, soon wheezing. He was so ridiculously ticklish that had had no chance fighting back or think about anything else but the tingles that made him howl with laughter.

But he wouldn’t change this kind of silly fun with his darling for the world. And if he was honest with himself, this was a great thing to focus on.

| MASTERPOST |

#marvel tickles #marvel fluff #loki laufeyson #ticklish!loki #ler!loki #lee!loki #ticklish!reader #ler!reader #lee!reader #loki x reader #loki tickle #loki fluff #ducky writes tickles

[anarchist-rat-swarm]

I've talked about this a little on other sites, but I don't remember having made any posts about it here, and I don't give enough fucks to scroll through my old posts to look for it, so you're getting it now, and probably again later after I forget about this post and make another one.

Cultural Christianity, Forced Dualism, and the Lie of the Good Guy

Part 1

Let's start with what I mean by cultural Christianity. Short version, if you are a product of western culture, you are culturally Christian. Don't like it? Tough shit, you got stuff to unlearn.

Think about everything you learned about non-Christian religions, especially polytheistic ones. How many times did the idea of good vs evil show up? Maybe Odin is the good guy and Loki is the bad guy, right? Maybe it's Belobog and Chernobog. You definitely got taught that Zeus was the good guy cuz he was in charge, right?

Yeah, no. The "perfect and ultimate Good vs complete and unredeemable Evil" thing pretty much only exists in Christianity. The bronze age tribalism "us versus them" is a lot easier to enforce when the "them" is defined as being totally evil. The concept gets applied to systems where it doesn't fit for largely the same reason why Romans thought that the Germanic people worshipped Hercules. The Romans couldn't be arsed to learn about Thor, and just sort of said "oh, he got muscles, must be Hercules." Christians, cultural ones or actual ones, look for Ultimate Good Sky-Daddy and Satan Analog, and apply the tropes to any figures that even remotely resemble them. When the Christian style Moral Dualism doesn't fit well, excuses get made. The easiest one to point to is Hera.

How often does Hera get portrayed as a total bitch?

Kind of a lot, right? Pop culture is full of it.

There's a reason for that. We have these Christians looking at Greek writings, and they decide pretty quick that Zeus is their Yahweh stand-in. But oh hey, he's really into this Swan and Chill thing. Dude cheats. Like, a lot. Good guys don't cheat, so there has to be a reason why it's okay that he's constantly turning into things and fucking mortals. So to excuse his behavior, Hera gets recast as some horrible shrew, therefore it's okay that Zeus the divine fuccboi bangs anything with a nice ass, possibly after turning into an ass.

We got the Christian Patriarchal model as a free side dish with our Christian Dualism there.

[Continued]

#pagan #paganism #cultural christianity

[nostalgia-tblr]

Okay I am actually going to Discourse now, about that bit in that Thor film. I went to IMDB for the exact quotes!

"You know, it all makes sense now, why you favored Thor all these years, because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"

SO. According to fandom, all of this can be taken as The Facts. As is the one about Loki being "no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me." The one about being a monster we all recognise as being the worst-case worries of someone who's just had his origin story suddenly and unexpectedly replaced with a new one and he's scared and upset and feels betrayed by his loved ones and all-in-all he's just having a shitty day. It is also assumed that every attempt Odin makes to dispute these Facts is him trying to cover for his own crimes. And then Odin falls asleep because ???? and so that means he's DEFINITELY lying.

But.

BUT!

What makes these things true? Can't the rest of it be based on fear rather than actual facts? Wouldn't that, y'know, fit perfectly with the emotions of the scene? And in plot terms if Odin does manage to reassure his anxious son then there's no rest of the film, is there? What a useful coincidence then that Odin has just fainted and is unable to talk Loki out of assuming the worst about everything!

Odin (and Frigga!!) doesn't have to have ACTUALLY favoured Thor but if there was ever a moment where wee growing-up Loki thought he did (which is pretty much a given, surely?) then it's going to suddenly come back to him now and OH LOOK there's a reason for Thor to have been the favourite so that means it must be true! It makes sense that he would be, so he must be! Right?? And apparently Odin has told Loki that he loves him, maybe even often. It might have been a lie but he did say it, he showed that kid some form of affection but now the kid is grown up and in existential turmoil and at this exact moment of course he doesn't believe it.

What I mean here, obvs, is that it's a bit odd for everyone to have just gone along with this rant and taken the angst-ridden fears of someone in the middle of an emotional crisis as being Objectively True Facts. And so Odin must be lying now and then and forever. He's a bad person, his son said so while crying his eyes out and refusing to accept any comfort from him! PROOF!!!

tl;dr - If I have to say "it's a mistake to assume that Loki can and should always be taken at his word" one more time...

#he's not even lying in this scene he's just fucked in the head! #what like you've never indulged your worst fears about someone when you were worrying that they didn't care about you? #by the normal rules of drama there's at least a 32% (i counted obviously) chance that Loki is Wrong in this scene #and yet??? #mcu tag i guess #a character tag for not-an-alligator loki? surely you JEST? #thor movies

[the-firebird69]

There's too many conflicting reports as to where the hurricane is and what the status is

Now these people are not paying attention to him Chinese are more than willing to pick me up if you want to f*** off and go somewhere else I mean you people want to kidnap me 24 hours a day to do what I mean sit there and try a knife you and knife you little s***. Bunch of jerks he's a bad guy he's a bad y'all stay in the same f****** room all your the bad guys figure it out you stupid s**** this a****** is holding me here won't let me leave nobody will believe me it's a felon and it should be in jail.

So that's how it's going I'm sitting here not allowing him to evacuate he has nowhere to go that he can reach and his bike won't work in the rain and nobody can he can call people but when he gets to the shelter they may close the shelter and then he screwed so he has to sit here I don't know about you but these people are so lame they need to be they need to go.

There's too many reports saying one thing too many reports saying another and our son needs to know the information and I need everyone to stop bothering me about telling him a lie to do something else to do something else to do something else nobody's doing a damn thing for him as a matter of fact I should probably not tell him because we should do something that's what we're going to do the storm's movie a little bit it's still going to affect everybody and it's still going to be a lot of rain and still going to be some kind of storm surge the land is dropping and it's exactly as I described and they're starting to get pissed off because it's dropping and it's stupid and didn't calculate it but a bunch of wank is mad at their own ignorance

The worst that can happen is there's going to be some debris flying around that's what I predict one station said the storm is heading directly at Port Charlotte is 150 mi away it's not true and it's more like 400 and for some reason the map online is wrong and he looked at it before and said it's like 400 miles why does it say 150 to Cuba into Cuba 200 it's ridiculous it's a lot further I don't I don't believe you're you're smart as you look but holy s*** you don't look smart what are you supposed to get from that is aggravated already and aggravating someone doesn't help you. And by the way you're trying to tell everybody that cube is 200 miles away it's some kind of wanker

So we believe that the land will fall another 10 ft momentarily and up in this area to 40 ft that's right and did the tip of Florida it's going to fall to 60 another terrace and it's just in time it's right on it it's amazing it's it's going to be there in like 2 minutes and it's right there and yeah we're having a tough time with it and we accelerated it and Tommy F could not grab those big ones if he tried then 100 mi Jager it wouldn't even budget I'm so ripped right off it they rolled right in and fell in and he hasn't moved them and he can't and a whole bunch of them are missing because we don't want to give him the stuff but he's down there doing things and they're finally in the cavern looking at it and see what he's doing and they're going in it's going to make a big difference we'll be able to clear them out we need this very badly as a matter of fact the flow rate is a little lower because of it it won't affect anything but it will get better and he will be cleared out and the threat will be reduced right now we have about five more fifties showing up that's a hefty ship and that does have a lot of flow and we got the flow going and pressure is increasing and it is working it is moving it it's moved 10 miles to the West and we need it to and it's going to keep going but boy there's a few different reports and the guy is way off in his mileage

Thor Freya

[randomshyperson]

Wanda x Reader - The one and only

Gif is not mine, another day falling in love with her.

Summary: You have always loved Wanda in secret. When Vision dies, she loves you back. But you are also the one who can bring him back. Prompt from @stay-casual

Warnings: Fluff, angst, death, insinuation and brief mention of smut (no sex though)

Words:  13.036k // Read on AO3 too

Marks: @mionemymind @abimess

Notes: Hope everyone like this, let me know if you don’t. Sorry for any typos. 

//-//

You loved someone who was not meant for you.

It was a bitter truth you had to accept.

Being an enhanced human, a Hydra experiment, and having spent years under physical and psychological torture by Nazi doctors, pain was not exactly something you were unaware of. You got used to it. You were always down to earth anyway, accepting things as they were.

When you joined the Avengers, you just hoped to help those in need, figuring your days of emotional stress were over.

But then you met Wanda Maximoff.

She was something you didn't understand in the first instant. When she tried to get inside your head, fighting as your enemy, you resisted and almost broke her neck. You saw fear in her eyes, and realized in that second that you would never again try anything that would hurt her. When her brother fought you, and you saw her worried expression, you surrendered. Steve and Tony scolded you for letting them get away, but you just tried to understand why your heart was racing when the witch looked at you before she escaped.

You fail to save Pietro however, and had to watch Wanda collapse. Never, even after so many battles, you felt so helpless. 

But you did everything in your power to be there for Wanda. S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't want to allow it, but you used all the favors they owed you to get Pietro's body not treated as an experiment, but as a civilian. And then you organized the whole memorial service. You didn't speak to Tony for two weeks, because he simply wasn't interested in the matter and you wanted to punch him in the face every time you remembered.

The ceremony was simple and small, and while Wanda was finishing paying her respects alone, you took the dirty dishes into the kitchen. Natasha was sitting at the counter and nodded slightly when you entered.

"You care about her." She said after a moment. You continued to wash the dishes, without sketching any reaction.

"Yes."

"No denying it?" she teases, but you remain impassive.

"I have no reason to lie to you, Natasha." You say with a smile. "We are friends, I trust you."

"Are you complimenting me to make me feel guilty for teasing you?"

"Maybe." You say laughing lightly, and Nat smiles.

"Something's bothering you." She says after a moment. You sigh, finished washing the glasses to turn around. You cross your arms and lean your back on the sink.

"If I hadn't organized everything, you would all treat Pietro like an experiment." You say seriously and Nat looks away. "I guess I was just disappointed in the way you all acted about it. Pietro was our teammate, and he sacrificed himself for Clint. If I didn't say or do anything, he'd be in a lab right now."

"You're right." Nat says next, holding your gaze. "But I don't know what to say. Everything has settled down now, and honestly most of us wouldn't have the power to get his body back."

You let out an impatient sigh.

"Right, Natasha." You interrupt and she blinks at your serious posture, but you just have an almost disappointed look on your face. "I should have known that you guys pick the fights you're going to fight. I just hoped that all members of the team would have the same importance."

"Y/N..."

But you just give her a sad smile, and turn around, leaving the kitchen. When you walked back to Pietro's grave area, you noticed that Wanda was kneeling on the ground, leaving some flowers. Vision was beside her, and when she stood up, she allowed him to hug her. Swallowing the bitter feeling in your stomach, you forced yourself to think that you were glad that he was there for her.

//-//

It doesn't take long for you to realize that you are in love with Wanda. It's not in your place to confess it, though. 

She is your friend, and your teammate. And more importantly, she is in a relationship with Vision. You were never the jealous type, because you were never possessive, and honestly, you just hoped that Wanda would be happy. And if Vision was responsible for that, that was enough for you.

When Steve and Tony start fighting, and the team splits up, there is not the slightest possibility that you will stand up to Wanda. So you throw your weapons on the ground, and Tony looks at you incredulously.

"Have you lost your mind?" He asks.

"I'm not going to fight with my friends." You say simply turning your back on him as you walk to the other side of the parking lot.

"She really changed sides in the middle of the fight?" You hear the boy dressed in red ask impressed. But you don't care.

"If the deal divides us, there's something wrong with it" You tell Steve when he accepts you as an ally. He smiles and then you are helping him, not fighting any of your companions, just deflecting blows and preventing them from hurting you.

Natasha lands a punch to your face, and your natural instinct is to knock her down. Before you can apologize, she assumes a provocative expression.

"Too bad I wasn't Wanda." She sneers and you roll your eyes, assuming a defensive stance as she stands up. 

"I don't want to fight you, Tasha" You say as you defend the blows. "Please, this isn't right."

"You don't just want to stand against your girlfriend." She taunts almost hitting a blow to your face, but you hold her leg up in the air.

"Why are you insisting on this?"

She releases herself from your grip, and you return to defending her attempts to punch you. 

"I just don't think it's fair."

"What are you talking about?"

"You should tell her. Wanda should know." She explains and then you hold her fist closed, preventing her from hitting you. She tries with her other hand, but you stop her again, restraining her. Your faces are close together. 

"No." You say seriously as she tries to break your grip. "She doesn't need to know."

"You deserve to be happy too." She says before breaking free by hooking her legs around your waist. You loosen her wrists to avoid being knocked over as you struggle.

"Tell her" Nat ordered again and you let out a sigh, knocking her to the floor and falling on top. 

"She has already found her soulmate" You reply with a sad smile, immobilizing Natasha "Now please stop fighting".

Nat hits you in the ribs, and you let out a grunt of pain. She manages to immobilize you next.

"You are unbelievable." She comments with a slight smile, and then she lets you go. "Always making me make the worst choices, darling."

You laugh  in surprise when Nat helps you up. You think Tony is complaining that it is not fair that people switch sides in the middle of the fight, but you are not listening. You watch Vision and Wanda interact from some distance away. And then you are helping Steve to the plane.

//-//

The fight is over and you are laughing, but not with happiness.

The government wants to arrest anyone who didn't escape from the parking lot, and they are coming. So you are holding Tony Stark by the neck.

"No one is going to touch her." You warn him, and there is only fear and surprise in the man's eyes, "How can you treat your friends like that?"

You saved James Rhodes' life during the fight, and so this is what you use against Tony.

He laughs when you put him down.

"What exactly are you asking me for?"

"Time." 

"You made that choice when you chose your side."

"That's too easy for you to say, isn't it, Tony?" you retort with irony. "If you take off the armor, you are no longer Iron Man, and the deal doesn't affect you. We don't all have that choice."

Tony looks at you with annoyance. And then he puts his hand to his ear.

"They've gone north." He warns the agents over the communicator. You look at him one last moment before turning, running back outside.

"Vision, let her go." You warn the man and he looks at you in surprise, probably trying to understand why Tony let you go. 

"I don't understand."

"They're up north, Vision." Tony says appearing at his side. "We couldn't reach the fugitives in time. Our colleagues have fled north."

Vision gives Tony one last look before letting go of Wanda's arm. 

As Wanda walks over to you, you signal to your the rest of the captain's team that you have also been contained. You find the Ant-Man is injured. 

"They also stole the transport vehicle in warehouse 23, the keys were in the cabin." Vision says next and you exchange a look with him, thanking him. And then you run.

//-//

Being an out-of-state fugitive is quite stressful, but you get used to it. 

There are no fixed locations, or very long term accommodations, but you try to stay positive about the whole thing.

You all can't stay together, so you have a cell phone that connects to Steve's and Sam's. You stayed in the same hotel room as Wanda for three weeks, then Vision contacted her.

They were trying, and then you let her try it alone. Natasha agreed to run away with you, and you made sure to check on Wanda every week, but she was always fine. 

T'Challa agrees to let you stay in Wakanda for a while after the government almost captures you. 

Your powers are difficult to control after the agents hit you with a strange weapon, and the people of Wakanda seem to be the only ones able to help you.

You don't like to owe favors, but you think they are good people. 

Bucky is free when you meet him. You become close again, and it is good to see him rest.

It is Shuri who discovers where your abilities come from, and you finally understand why you have always felt connected to Wanda and Vision. Your energy came from one of the jewels, as did their power. You don't know how Hydra got access to this, and you don't understand why Thor doesn't tell you all the things humans don't understand, but you realize that these mystical stones are too dangerous.

You talk to Shuri, and then to the council and the king of Wakanda. They all agree that no human should have access to such power. You help her build a machine that can separate the stone and Vision's body. 

"How do we destroy it?" you ask her as you are putting the finishing touches on the equipment.

"Maybe you can." She says and you deny it with your head.

"No, I don't think I can." You say. "But maybe Wanda can. It's her thing, and it's her stone too."

Shuri nods and you get back to work.

Unfortunately, events move faster than you do. 

//-//

There is an army controlled by a purple man. 

That is the only information Steve gives you through the communicator. You hugged Wanda tight when she arrived in Wakanda, and she was happy to see you, but she also seemed upset. You knew it was because of Vision.

"Hey buddy, it's going to be okay." You told him with a smile as you helped him climb into the machine you built.

"Thanks, Y/N" Vision said to you.

You didn't stop fighting for the next few hours.

There was a moment, on the battlefield, that you felt something in the pit of your stomach. When you destroyed your opponent, your hands and eyes were glowing even after you stopped throwing your power. Your stone was here. 

You knew something was wrong, so you ran to where you were being pulled.

Some opponents tried to hold you back, but you defeated them easily, feeling much stronger than you ever had.

"No!" you exclaimed angrily as you launched your energy at the creature that was supposed to be Thanos, preventing him from reaching Wanda. He used the golden gauntlet to hold his power, but you kept him busy long enough for her to destroy Vision's stone, an energy field pushing you away when she did. You fell to your knees afterwards, exhausted from having held out against your own stone for so long.

Thanos slowly walked over to the redhead, and you struggled to move toward her.

"I understand, child. Better than anyone." He said and you choked, fearing that he was going to hurt her. 

"You could never." She replied angrily still on the floor.

"Today I lost more than you could ever imagine".

"Leave her alone" You muttered stumbling toward her. You are feeling a sharp pain all over your body, but managed to stand. Thanos smiled at you wryly.

You raise your fist toward him, but he just raises his golden gauntlet.

"I felt you." He with a wry smile. "In my hand"

"You will feel my fist on your face in a second." You retorted angrily and he laughed. You are almost reaching for him, but you frown when you notice the green glow on his gauntlet. The time stone.

"One second is all I need."

You blink, and you're not there anymore. You are halfway again. And then you understand what he has done. When you run back to where Wanda was, a golden light throws you away. This time, it wasn't Wanda who destroyed the stone. 

"No. No" you repeat to yourself as you run back, your body no longer aching like before, and you stumble among the trees.

You were going to attack Thanos as soon as you saw him, but Thor hit him first. Then you were running to Wanda, kneeling beside her.

"He's gone." She cried beside Vision's body. You couldn't feel his stone anymore, and your own face was wet with your tears.

You placed your hand on top of Wanda's next, and looked forward. Thor had struck Thanos in the chest and was saying something to him. 

Then you gasped in surprise as the titan raised his fist. 

"No!" you exclaimed getting up, but he snapped his fingers. You launched a wave of energy at him, but he used his gauntlet to defend himself. "What have you done?" you shouted rushing to reach the fallen titan. 

"The necessary thing." He whispered before using his last breath of energy to teleport away. 

You turned to Thor at the same instant, but he is not looking at you, but at Steve. 

"Steve?" A male voice calls out, and you watch Bucky walk toward you all. But he turns to dust midway.

"W-what?" you whisper breathlessly, taking a step forward. Steve kneels on the ground in the same place your friend was and looks at Thor in confusion. 

You look at Wanda immediately and feel your heart soar when you notice that the same thing is happening to her.

"Wanda?" You cry running to her, but by the time you arrive, she is gone. There is only Vision's body.

You can't feel either of them anymore.

//-//

The world is in complete chaos during the blip. There is no more S.H.I.E.L.D, and many other deals. And then there's a company that wants to take Vision's body away, and you destroy their trucks, and Steve has to calm you down for twenty minutes.

"No one is going to touch him." You say only as you release yourself from Steve's grip, and ignore the startled looks from the agents of S.W.O.R.D. You kick them out of the Avengers compound, and say that Tony Stark may be dead, but they had no jurisdiction there. If they had a problem with that, they could fight you.

It took 23 days for Tony Stark to come home. You hug him first when he gets off the plane. And you are impressed that it barely takes two hours for him to start talking shit.

"I told you guys we needed armor around the world..."

"And here we go again." You mumble impatiently as you take the focus away from the discussion to the tablet in your hand. 

You are startled when Tony collapses to the ground, and the team moves to rescue him. You don't worry, because you feel he is fine.

"Tony always has to make a scene." You comment to yourself shaking your head slightly. "Hey, you," You call out to the metal girl you don't know while the other avengers are out of the room, "help me find your dad."

//-//

The team is trying to locate Thanos by analyzing planets that fit Nebula's description. You feel a sharp twinge in the back of your neck and then you are getting up towards the scanning equipment.

"Y/N, what is it?" Steve asks worriedly as he notices her movement.

"I found him." You say a moment later. 

The team is impressed, but you swallow dryly.

"I felt my stone." You explain to them. "And then I didn't feel anything else. We need to go to him."

The Avengers exchanged worried looks, fearing what you were implying.

Soon you were all on a spaceship, heading for an unknown planet.

When Thanos confirmed your suspicions, the stones were destroyed, you sobbed.

"Wanda. She..." You said breathlessly turning to leave the cabin. You sat on the ground, trying to normalize your breathing. She's gone. Your friends are gone forever.

//-//

Your way of experiencing grief is unconventional.

You try to balance managing the chaos that the world has become while splitting chores with Natasha, and going to a few community therapy sessions. Steve is acting strange, but you make sure he eats properly.

There are no tears. You feel that if you start crying you won't stop, so you just work. And you help those who need it. And you have movie nights with Natasha, and you try to remember things that are worth living for.

There is a secret project too, something that is not progressing, but that you don't give up on. The machine you created with Shuri in Wakanda was destroyed in battle. With the world in complete chaos, you didn't have enough time to put it back together, especially with the current state of Wakanda. But you kept the projects going. Part of you didn't know if your lack of absolute dedication was because you believed Vision wouldn't want to live without Wanda. You wouldn't and you didn’t.

So there is this side project, to rebuild the machine and try to restore Vision, but it falls by the wayside after a few months. You keep the papers in a safe in your room, and start accepting more missions.

Tony has given up the hero's life, just as you always said he could do. You are not angry with him, though. And you visit him not so regularly, and agree when Pepper says that Morgan is the cutest kid in the world.

Steve becomes a kind of group therapist, and you want to tell him he needs a degree, but Natasha pokes you in the rib, and you just nod as you listen to the story.

Clint is different too. Losing his family has completely messed him up, and he has become a vigilante of sorts. You find Natasha crying often after you discover that he has been murdering people, and you always hug her until she stops. 

As time passes, your pain becomes numb, and your nightmares stop happening. You think it is because Natasha lets you sleep in her bed now.

//-//

Five goes by much faster than you realize.

You are somewhere in Georgia, investigating a lead on a possible terrorist group forming, when Nat calls you. Scott Lang was alive.

When you return to New York, you discover that you have to go back in time.

Your friends want to know if you know anything about how Hydra had your stone, but you have no memory of that time. And with no time, they decide to just follow the right date and place that Rocket provides. You accompany Nebula, because it might be helpful to get a feel for where your stone would be.

You hug Natasha before she leaves with Clint to get the soul stone.

"You're getting sentimental" She teases when you let go of her.

"I know" You retort with a smile. "Just be careful, Tasha."

"I'm usually the one who tells you that." She says in the same tone, squeezing your hand lightly before turning away. 

When Nebula takes you and James to a place called the Temple of the Power Stone, you can barely breathe. 

"I can feel it." You say to the two of you as you walk to the stone. 

"How are we going to get it?" James asks as he looks at the repository where the stone is placed.

Nebula is sticking her hand in the protective flame next second and you let out an impressed hiss.

She hands the stone protector to you, and you nod in appreciation.

"Let's synchronize then." You say as you form a small circle. 

"Wow, that always feels weird" You joke as you appear in the Avengers compound again, now on your time. But your smile dies when you look around, and can't find Nat. "Clint...where?"

He just denies it with his head, and you feel your heart soar. This can't be true, you think in desperation. 

"No. Nat... She can't." You say breathlessly, falling to your knees. Steve is touching your shoulder next. But then you release yourself from his grip, rushing to get out, feeling yourself suffocating. 

You end up on the pier of the complex, thick tears streaming down your face.

It doesn't take long for the team to catch up with you.

"What do we do now?" You hear Tony ask. Steve sits down on one of the empty benches.

Bruce, in his Hulk form, is further away and looks just as upset as you.

"Did she have a family?"

You let out a short laugh at Tony's question.

"She had us." You retort trying to control your tears. 

"Why are you guys talking like she's not coming back?" Thor asked angrily. "We have the stones, we will bring her back."

"It can't be undone." Clint said next, nipping in the bud the shred of hope that had risen in your chest. You sobbed. "She sacrificed herself for the stone, her soul was the price." He says looking forward. He lets out a breathless sigh. "It should have been me."

"You bet it did." You retort bitterly as you get up and walk away. No one follows you this time.

You go directly back to Nat's room. And you stay there for two days. When you calm down, and decide to take a shower and try to eat something, on the way out of the bathroom, you stop in front of her closet.

She would hate for you to take her clothes without asking, but you are wearing one of her leather jackets anyway. Wanda used to steal them too, and you both used to joke that it was because Nat had a wonderful fashion sense. 

Now you had lost your two friends, and you were alone. You tried to control your sobs. Her sacrifice had to be worth it. So you put on her clothes and went out into the living room.

//-//

The team was arguing when you came in. You just blinked in surprise when you noticed the iron gauntlet. Tony really did it.

You tried to argue that you could handle the gauntlet's power too, but Bruce insisted that since he was made of gamma ray in his Hulk form, that was what he was there for.

And then he snapped his fingers. 

You looked at Clint in surprise when he took a call from Laura. 

"Honey?" He whispered tearfully and you felt your heart soar. And then something exploded and you were creating a force field to save Clint from the rubble.

When you were finished falling among the remains of the completely destroyed Avengers compound, you checked to see if the archer was okay, sighing with relief when he opened his eyes.

"Stand up." You ordered helping him to stand. "We have to find the others."

"The gauntlet." He warns pointing to something among the stones that glowed in the dark a few feet away from you. Before you could walk towards the item, a noise caught your attention.

Clint aimed an arrow from the direction of the sound, and you choked as the space creatures moved in the dark.

"Go." You shouted to him before starting to attack the beings as he ran to reach the gauntlet and leave the place, you following him with some delay.

You almost died a couple of times though. And when you reached Clint again, there were two Nebula's with him, and a green girl.

"What's going on, people?" You asked confused, and then let out a surprised exclamation when you realized that one of the Nebula's had a gunshot mark on her chest.

"I'll explain on the way, we have to get out of here." Clint spoke pulling you through the halls.

"Wait, she killed her past self? Isn't that going to be a problem?" You exclaim as soon as Clint explains it to you and he shrugs his shoulders. "May I ask why you are green?" You say to the strange girl next to you and she looks at you reproachfully.

"Why aren't you?"

"Touché" You retort smiling, "I am Y/N."

"Gamora."

When you reach the battlefield, things are chaotic and you barely have time to notice your surroundings and you are already fighting again.

Your heart races when you realize that everyone is back. But you don't have time to talk to anyone now, as you are busy fighting.

A red glow catches your attention, however. Completely taking your attention is the right thing to say.

"Who's got the gauntlet?" You hear Steve ask over the team's communicator, but you don't wait for the answer; you're headed toward Wanda.

When you find her, she has the titan trapped in her magic. You choke with excitement at seeing her again, feeling your eyes water.

But then a loud explosion catches your attention. Thanos has activated the airstrike, and you are running toward Wanda, reaching her just before one of the missiles reaches you two.

"Whoa, hi!" She greets you in surprise as you roll on the ground together. A mixed force field between your and her magic surrounds you, protecting you two from the attacks. You let out an exclamation of happiness, raising your hand to her face, wanting to confirm that she was really there.

"God, it's really you." You gasp with emotion, letting your tears flow. Wanda probably doesn't understand what is happening, but she hugs you back as you bury your face in her neck.

This can't last long, though. You take one last look at her face before standing up, the force field still surrounding the two of you as you help her to her feet.

However, when you go to ask her how you could take down the ship, someone does it for you.

"Wow, that's cool" You comment with a smile watching Carol destroy the entire ship with one blow.

"I think you're drooling." Wanda scoffs lightly making you laugh awkwardly. 

"Shut up."

And then you are fighting again.

You have the impression that you are losing. But then Thanos' army is turning to dust before your eyes and you are exchanging a confused look with Wanda.

"Tony snapped his fingers." Steve says into the comm and you choke in surprise. Then you are running halfway across an open field until you catch up with your friends.

Pepper is kissing her husband's cheek when you arrive.

"S-Steve, what?" - You ask and he just shakes his head, thick tears in his eyes.

You gasp and then there are arms around you. It takes a moment for you to hug Wanda back. And when Steve takes Tony's body, she holds your hand.

//-//

Your hands are shaking as you step out of the shower. 

You are staying at Tony's house, as are some of the others, while the compound area is being restored and Pepper organizes the funeral. 

The laundry on your bed is Natasha's last set of clothes, and you don't want to cry anymore, but your face is wet anyway.

You finish getting dressed, but remain sitting on the bed in the room you are sharing with Wanda. The redhead enters a moment later, but you don't look at her.

Wanda sighs slightly and sits down beside you.

"Do you also have the feeling that everything is a bad dream?" She starts after a moment, you blink in surprise feeling a bit distracted and forcing yourself to pay attention. "Like the pain is so overwhelming, it's easier to think it's all temporary. Because there' s not the slightest chance you can survive this for much longer."

"Yes. I feel exactly like that." You agree smiling faintly. "But that's grief. No matter how impossible it seems now, it gets better." 

"How can you know that?"

"Because I already lost you once."

Wanda blinks in surprise and then looks straight ahead. You don't face her either. 

"How was it?" she asks after a moment, almost in a whisper. Clearly not exactly sure whether to ask that or not. You let out a dry laugh, running your hand over your face to wipe away the tears.

"What kind of question is that?" you retort and Wanda lets out a sigh, apologizing, but you shake your head. "You know exactly how I felt Wanda. Because you lost Vision too."

Wanda swallows dryly, looking at you with a frown. You stand up, leaving no room for questions. 

You leave the room next, it was better to try to eat something.

//-//

Steve Rogers is going back to the past. And he will stay there.

He confesses this to you on the eve of Tony's funeral, and you push him by the shoulders, before hugging him tightly. Bucky also cries when he tells him.

No one else must know, not yet. You go back into the room you share with Wanda and mask your tears. She probably thinks it's because of Nat, so she doesn't press you to talk.

When the ceremony takes place the next day, you entwine your arm with Steve's. You were about to lose the three leaders of the Avengers all at once, and it looked like your heart couldn't take it.

But Steve smiles, and squeezes your hand lightly, before going to talk to Potts. You walk to the edge of the lake at the cabin, joining Clint and Wanda.

"I wish there was a way to tell her." Says the man after a moment. You clench your jaw, knowing exactly who he is talking about. "Of telling her that we won."

"Natasha was sure we would make it." You say half hoarsely, trying to hold back the cry. "She trusted us. That's why she did what she did."

Clint nods slightly, not holding back the tears that were falling from his eyes.

"She knows." Wanda said next. "They both know."

Clint slung an arm around Wanda's shoulder and one around yours, embracing you both. You allowed yourself to cry some more.

//-//

There are no more Avengers. At least not for now.

The world is in complete chaos with everyone coming back after five years.

You don't want to think about how many responsibilities you will have to take on when you are a hero again, you just want to get some rest.

Your first stop is Vision's grave. The restoration of the complex took a few weeks, but Potts was kind enough to take care of everything.

You took Wanda there as soon as everything was ready.

"I know we haven't talked about this yet, but, I got it back." You tell her as you walk together to the spot Potts showed you on the map. "After Thanos activated the missiles, I worried that something had happened, but the restoration team was able to map everything out again." You counters by leading her around the place. 

Wanda just listened to your words, saying nothing. She seemed surprised by everything.

You reached a small hill, where there were two small metal and rock tombstones. On the first gravestone you made a few years ago completely recovered by Potts' team and already with slightly rusty lettering, it read "Pietro Maximoff - Brother, Friend and Hero. You are loved beyond words and lost beyond measure." On the second, a newer metal, and with gold lettering, it read "Vision Maximoff - Friend, Lover and Hero. To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die."

"I used to bring flowers, but..."

You fell silent as Wanda hugged you. You reciprocated the hug for a moment, until Wanda let go, smiling weakly at you before turning around, kneeling on the graves.

As she ran her fingers over the letters, you cleared your throat.

"I know you two weren't married, but since Vis didn't have a last name..."

"It's okay." She interrupted in a whiny voice. "Thank you."

She stood there for many minutes. You don't mind waiting. And when she allowed it, you hugged her again, wiping away her tears.

You returned to the compound just as the sun was setting.

//-//

You were going to help Wanda to have a proper grief.

She had the same quirks as you, unhealthy habits of disconnecting from reality. 

You wouldn't want that for her. Vision wouldn't want that.

The day after you took her to Pietro and Vision's grave, you appeared in her room in the morning. A tray of breakfast in your hand. 

"I don't want to get up." She grumbled against the pillows when you entered the room without knocking, opening the curtains.

"I know, but it's almost ten thirty and you need to eat something." You said, leaving the tray on the bedroom table.

The first day she resisted. But two weeks later, she was already on her feet when you came into the room. You always ate together, and you made a point of taking her for walks, and spending time doing the things she liked, for example watching old TV series together.

"Potts called me." You said as you two shared coffee. "She wants me to take over the compound."

Wanda let out a surprised exclamation and you laughed lightly.

"Yeah I know, it's a lot." You say. "But Tony left the command to Steve. And Steve left it to me."

"Are you sure you want this?" She asked looking at you. You shrug.

"It's not about wanting it, Wands," you say. "I am who I am after all. These powers are with me for a reason. Maybe I can use them to do something good."

Wanda nods slightly, looking at you in a way that makes you embarrassed.

"And what does the government think of all this?" She asks and you sigh, running your fingers through your hair.

"They want to control everything of course." You tell her. "Potts is trying to keep everything classified as private property, but after Thanos, that's pretty unlikely."

"I guess the treaty of Sokovia was inevitable after all." She then comments, and you grumble in agreement.

"I would like to enjoy the rest of my vacation, though" You say with a smile, making Wanda look at you.

"What do you want to do?" 

"I'm torn between a quiet weekend at a spiritual retreat or getting completely drunk in Las Vegas."

Wanda laughs.

"Okay." She says smiling, "Let's do both then."

"Oh, you like both then?"

"Oh, yeah."

Wanda replies wryly, and you notice her cheeks flush slightly, suggesting that she understood your insinuation. You laugh, going back to eating.

//-//

Sam has been calling you for a few hours, and you left an automated message on the answering machine that says "I'm on vacation, if it's life or death, send a letter".

You are driving to Las Vegas now, humming a pop song on the radio with Wanda in the passenger seat.

 "Now that you are Tony's heiress you will spend the money on gambling, I suppose" She teases making you laugh.

"I'm not Tony's heiress." You counter laughing. 

"Oh, yes, sorry, Miss Avengers leader."

You laugh at the teasing, then turn up the volume. You and Wanda sing at the top of your lungs.

When you park in front of the first big casino you encounter, Wanda has a mischievous grin on her face.

"I bet I win more games than you do." She says stopping in front of you.

"Can we use our magic?" You ask in the same joking tone, and she nods. You let out an excited exclamation. "Game on."

//-//

You two are thrown out of the casino a few hours later.

You both laugh as you run away from the angry security guards and get into the car quickly, many small coins falling out of your pockets. You drive through town, until you find a bar that seems crowded.

"Ready for the second half of your vacation?" Wanda asks with amusement as you get out of the car, making you laugh. Parties aren't really your thing, but you had said you wanted to drink after all.

The girl at the door looks at your clothes with a judgmental eye, but you think Wanda may have used her powers to get you two into the club.

The atmosphere is extremely noisy and with lots of lights, but you are not bothered when you start drinking.

"I think this is the worst way to go through grief" You comment before you and Wanda pour a shot of vodka together.

She laughs lightly afterwards.

"It's fun though." 

And then she is pulling you onto the dance floor. You are too drunk to care about the closeness. You laugh as you dance together.

As the nightclub is beginning to empty, you and Wanda stumble out, visually drunk.

"Where's the car, Wands?" You ask between giggles, Wanda shrugs her shoulders, leaning on you to be able to walk.

It takes many minutes for you to find the vehicle. And when you do, Wanda passes out in the back seat. You use the rest of your sobriety to throw a jacket over her body, before sitting down in the front seat and falling asleep.

The next morning you both have a very bad migraine, and decide to have breakfast at a dinner on the way back to the compound.

Sitting on opposite sides of the same table, you drink some orange juice while Wanda steals a piece of your pancakes. You don't mind.

"Where are we going to spend the last stage of your vacation?" She asks curiously, and you rest your face on your hand while propping your elbow on the table.

"I don't know." You say. "I don't think I know anywhere quiet."

Wanda stands thoughtfully for a moment.

"We could rent a cabin."

"I make minimum wage."

Wanda laughs rolling her eyes. But she becomes quiet next, her expression serious.

"I can split the bill with you."

You raise a curious eyebrow.

"May I ask where the money comes from? Please don't say drug dealing."

Wanda laughs, looking away. 

"Shut up." She retorts the next moment. "So what, you'll take it?"

You look at her suspiciously. You weren't going to pressure her into telling you what she didn't want, wishing to give her privacy. 

"All right, Wands."

Wanda smiles at you, raising her hand. You give a "Hi-Five" and the waitress looks at you curiously.

//-//

Maybe renting a cabin with the woman you've secretly loved for years wasn't your best idea, but you're handling things well.

You were only going to stay three days, and if you could disguise that you completely melted when Wanda touched you or how cute she looked when she woke up, you'd be fine.

The cabin had two rooms, which was the best thing for your sanity.

After you had finished unpacking, you decided to prepare something to eat.

"How do you know how to cook this?" Wanda asks in surprise as she joins you in the kitchen. "By the way, how do you have the ingredients to make it?"

"I bought it on the way, smarty pants" You replied with amusement, moving around the kitchen to prepare the Sokovian Stew. "And I've cooked it for you before, I don't understand the surprise."

Wanda laughed lightly, remembering.

"Sorry, you're right." She says leaning against the countertop as she watches you cook.

"Come here and see if the seasoning is good." You tell her a moment later as you are stirring the pots. 

You raise the spoon toward Wanda, expecting her to take it. But she just brings her mouth close to the cutlery, and looks at you as she tastes the food. You swallow dryly, feeling your heart race at the intensity of her gaze. You almost choke when she lets out a groan of satisfaction.

"It's delicious."

"Uh." It is the only sound you are able to produce, as Wanda looks up at you with an innocent smile. You quickly face the pot again, trying not to embarrass yourself so much.

"I'll set the table for us."

//-//

"Are you sure food is not your love language?" Wanda asks suggestively when you hand her a mug of hot chocolate. You are on the veranda, a few hours after dinner. You laugh lightly.

"My what?"

She settles into the seat she is sitting on, turning her face to you as you sit down next to her.

"Your love language." She explains with a smile. "There are several, one of them is cooking for the people you love."

You frown slightly, growing thoughtful.

"That's hardly mine, Wands." - You reply. "I hate cooking."

"What are you talking about, you always cook for me!" She retorts with a mix of confusion and humor in her voice, you shrug.

"It's because it's you." You say looking away.

"What does that mean?" She asks and you sigh lightly, taking a sip of your chocolate. Wanda looks at you incredulously. "You're not going to tell me then. Okay."

"Tell me more about these love languages." You ask next trying to change the focus of the subject from yourself. 

Wanda seems excited to talk about it.

"Okay, I think there are five kinds." She starts with a smile, you're just happy to hear her say anything. And she sounds absolutely adorable when she talks about something that gets her excited. "They are words of affirmation, quality time, touch, acts of service, and gifts."

"What happened to cooking?" You tease and she pats your shoulder, laughing.

"I guess it comes into gift giving" She says thoughtfully. "But I read somewhere that it was like a sixth language".

You make an understanding noise with your mouth, but Wanda interprets your lack of reaction as a lack of interest, and apologizes that she is boring you. You frown.

"Hey, what are you talking about? I love this idea!" You assure her, and she smiles shyly after a moment. "I was just wondering which language I fit best in. That is, if I'm the one who decides that?"

"It's not a decision really." She says. "It's more of an analysis in how you behave. Usually the people around you notice."

"Oh, right." You grumble in agreement. "You really would make a terrible analyst then." You tease and Wanda laughs, pushing you lightly and making a face when she almost knocks over your hot chocolate. You laugh. "That story that I cook to show my love, not a thing."

Wanda rolls her eyes amused and then looks at you curiously.

"Oh yeah, and what do you think your language is then?"

You think for a moment.

"I have no idea." You confess and Wanda laughs looking away, "That's harder than it sounds."

"Take a guess."

"Um... I don't think they are words of affirmation." You say and she looks at you expectantly, wanting you to talk more about it. You smile awkwardly. "I never know what to say, so that would be the last language I would think of."

Wanda smiles, biting her lip and shaking her head slightly.

"What else?"

You inhale deeply, thinking. 

"Well, I'm not the best gift-giving person." You counters. "Maybe quality time is a good option, but I'm not sure either. I'm pretty anti-social."

"I think quality time might be your thing." She says with a fond smile.

You raise your eyebrow curiously.

"Why do you say that?"

"Look around you." She replies with a smile, and you understand that this is exactly what is happening now. You give a shy little laugh.

"Can I make it official then?" You ask and Wanda laughs.

"I don't know, don't you like the others?"

"I forget which ones they are." You confess and Wanda laughs. 

"Touch and Acts of Service." She clarifies and you nod in understanding.

" Okay let me think about it." You begin running your fingers through your hair quickly. "How can anyone know that touch is their thing?"

"I guess if the person likes to be touched." Wanda says and you raise your eyebrow in confusion. "Like, if you like to give hugs or cuddle."

"Do some people not like that?"

Wanda laughs.

"I think we have an answer." She says and you smile, shrugging.

"No, seriously. I don't know." You speak. "I guess I have no problem with touching people I like, but I can't tell if that would be my language."

"Okay." Wanda says and you look at her curiously as she picks up your mug and places it on the table along with hers. She moves a little closer to you, and entwines your hands together. You swallow dryly.

"Do you like that?" She asks gently, and you look into her eyes, glowing green. You nod shyly, and Wanda smiles. She releases your hands to slip her arms over your shoulder, and you melt into her embrace almost instantly. "Is that good?"

"Yes." You whisper with flushed cheeks. Wanda releases you next.

"I think we have a winner." She jokes, and you giggle awkwardly. 

"What about you? What's your language?"

"Definitely quality time" She says and you smile. 

"I think words of affirmation are your thing too."

Wanda looks at you curiously.

"Why?"

"Because you're nice." You say. "You say nice things all the time I mean. You are an affectionate person."

"Maybe words of affirmation are your thing." She hits back with flushed cheeks, you laugh awkwardly looking away.

"What happens if people have different love languages?" You ask after a moment. "Do they fight?"

Wanda sighs lightly, thoughtfully. 

"I don't really know." She replies. "I think they each show their love in a different way, and if they talk, there's no reason to fight."

You nod in agreement and then straighten your posture, extending your hand to Wanda.

"Miss Maximoff, I swear I will try to show my affection to you with words of affirmation and quality time" You tell her in a fake serious tone, and Wanda joins in on the joke, agreeing to shake your hand.

"I swear I will try to show my affection to you with touch and also with quality time." She repeats the pledge, and you both look serious for a second, before laughing.

Neither of you realizes that by proposing to act outside your comfort zone for each other, perhaps acts of service are the best suitable love language for you two.

//-//

The second day at the cabin is like heaven on earth.

You wake up early, have coffee with Wanda, and walk a short trail with her until lunchtime. You cook again, and she teases you about it. In the afternoon you play monopoly, and cards. She makes you tea, and then you two sit on the sofa, each with a book, just enjoying each other's company.

It must be about ten o'clock at night when Wanda starts to yawn. You two are already lying on the couch, and you poke her ribs with your foot and she laughs lightly.

"Go to bed." You tell her with a smile, and she looks quickly at you.

"I don't want to sleep." She says and yawns next, making you laugh.

"Of course you don't."

Wanda laughs and then closes the book, placing it on the small table beside the sofa. She buries her body against the cushions afterwards. You laugh as you look at her.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want to get up." She replies by closing her eyes. You laugh, closing the book and sitting down. You place the book on the coffee table, and when Wanda yawns again you sigh. 

"Come on you big baby, I'll take you to bed." - You tell her as you approach. Wanda lets out an exclamation as picks her up and carries her, blushing as she places her hands on your neck. You were laughing and didn't realize it.

When you reach your bedroom door, Wanda uses her powers to open the door, and you look at her quickly to thank her, which is a mistake, because you realize how close you are. It's hard to reach the bed without shaking now.

"Here we go." You mumble clumsily as you lay her down on the bed. Wanda doesn't let go of your neck however, and you swallow dryly. "Wanda?"

"Can I kiss you?" she asks breathlessly, and you feel your stomach drop. Your bodies are very close together, as you bent down to place her on the bed. Your hands are stretched out beside her neck, to keep you from falling on top of her.

"Are you sure?" You reply in the same tone, your voice husky. Wanda nods biting her lips lightly, her face very flushed.

You slowly advance against her and she meets you on the way. You both sigh as your lips touch. It is as overwhelming as you ever imagined it would be.

Wanda nuzzles the back of your neck lightly and you slide your tongue against hers, changing the intensity of the kiss.

She sighs, pulling you down and you shiver as you rest your weight against her.

When you pull away to take a breath, your foreheads stay together.

"Wanda..." You start breathlessly, trying to decide what to say.

"I like you." She confesses in the same tone, her voice husky. You feel your heart race. "Is that okay?"

You let out a short laugh, nodding. You kiss her again, smiling against her lips. 

You kiss for several minutes, and when your lips are swollen and you are hot, you part. It's still early for this, you don't want to press Wanda.

"Maybe I should go to my room" You whisper against her lips, finding hard to reason with such closeness. Wanda kisses you again, making you sigh. You are almost giving up on the idea of getting up when she breaks the kiss, biting your lip as she does so.

"Goodnight, darling" She whispers and you melt at the nickname, but smile, starting to get up. Wanda is still lying there, just as affected by the make-out session as you are, and you just smile shyly at her as you say goodnight and go back to your room.

You both have silly smiles on your faces as you fall asleep.

//-//

There is a delicious tension in your relationship with Wanda now.

You got up early on your last day, and went into the kitchen to make breakfast for the two of you. While you were preparing coffee, Wanda woke up.

She stretched, and seemed to hesitate slightly about what to do next, but you were already handing her a cup of coffee and kissing her cheek before walking over to the table. 

You sit in silence, glances and smiles stolen between the small talk.

When you have finished eating, you turn on the television, and Wanda sits down next to you. 

"Come here" you ask softly, and she smiles as she approaches, cuddling up to you. You watch some silly movie together, and you like to feel Wanda laughing against you.

In the afternoon, Wanda is the one who prepares lunch, and you lean on the counter when you finally decide to look at your cell phone. You sigh as you look at the number of missed calls and notifications. There are at least a dozen messages from Sam saying that something was wrong.

"What is it?" Wanda asks when she notices your expression.

"Dever calling us" You reply with a mixture of weariness and irony, shaking the cell phone. Wanda exchanges an understanding look with you, and you put the cell phone on the counter, sinking your face into your hands. She gives the pot one last check, and you are slightly startled when she moves in front of you, gently pulling your hands away from your face.

"I just wanted to stay here forever" You confess and let out a short laugh "I know it's selfish, but I just... it feels like my whole life I've been fighting." You tell her with a sad smile. "This must be the most at peace and content I've felt in a long time"

Wanda raises her hands to caress your cheeks.

"It's not selfish." She says tenderly. "I know exactly how it feels, darling. Ever since I was a child, Pietro and I went from one fight to another." She tells you and you let your hands rest against her waist. "I can't thank you enough for giving me moments like that."

You smile, shaking your head slightly. Then you sink your face into Wanda's neck and she hugs you back.

Now that your cell phone is no longer on silent, it doesn't take long for another call to come in. You grumble when you let go of Wanda to answer it. 

Sam is saying something about a new Captain America and you are frowning, but smile when Wanda presses her fingers against your forehead to get you to stop grimacing.

"Are you listening to me?" Sam asks half impatiently on the other end of the line. You had been silent because Wanda is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen and she is standing right in front of you, smiling.

"Of course, Sammy." You then reply, raising your free hand to Wanda's cheek caressing her skin. "I'll come back to the compound tonight and then we'll talk better."

"Okay, just hurry please." He asks and looks tired. "Things are a mess".

You hang up and move forward, kissing Wanda intensely. She sighs against your lips, and you wish you could call Sam again and tell him you're not going anywhere. 

//-//

When you return to the compound again there is a lot of work.

You find out that Sam is going to become the new Captain America and you couldn't be prouder.

You are no stranger to the idea that he should be the new leader of the Avengers, as Steve was. It feels right and you tell him so.

He seems surprised that you refuse the leadership, but you assure him that it was never really your thing, you would be happy in solo missions and other activities. 

Besides this, things with Wanda were going in a direction you never imagined.

Part of you kept repeating that she would never look at you if Vision were alive, but you suppress these thoughts as much as you can.

You start going out frequently, casual encounters that leave you two with flushed cheeks and racing hearts. There are some kisses. But in general, Wanda is already so much a part of your life that nothing has really changed. You live together in the complex, and spend almost all your free time together. 

There are many missions now, many people needing help.

Four months after you started to go out, Shuri calls you.

She apologizes for not getting in touch sooner, explaining how complicated things have become in Wakanda as well. You assure her that it's okay and that you would like to visit her when you can. She has a mysterious tone when she says that she needs your help with a project, and that she would have more information in a few days. You are curious and thoughtful as you hang up the cell phone and walk back to your room.

Wanda is strangely quiet the next day. You don't understand what is going on, but when you check the calendar, you bite the inside of your cheek. It was the anniversary of Vision's death. For you it had been five years, but for her, only a few months. Sighing sadly, you prepare something hot for her to eat.

When you arrive in her room, she has a sad and thoughtful countenance and is slightly startled when you enter without knocking, but you just smile and put the tray of soup on the table.

"I brought you some food, baby" You say tenderly and Wanda looks at you just for a moment. You notice a piece of paper in her hands and have a curious expression. "What's that?"

Wanda's eyes immediately fill with tears, and you blink in concern. She holds out the paper to you.

It is a house plan. It is stamped "property sold" with the date close to when you traveled to the cottage. You understand where the money came from now. But what catches your eye is the scrawl in red in the center, which reads "To grow old together, V."

Swallowing dryly, you fold the paper again, leaving it on the table before returning to Wanda.

"I'm sorry, I just... I just miss him and it seems like everything changed all at once"

"No, Wanda. It's okay." You assure her as you sit up and wrap her in a hug, which made her cry, but also relax her immediately. "I wish I could take this pain away from you, but I can't. I'm really sorry for the life you two couldn't live together."

Wanda sobs against your T-shirt and while you soothe her to sleep, you decide what you are going to do.

//-//

Shuri called. So you were going to Wakanda, Bucky next to you on the plane. 

You teased him one last time about his new name "white wolf" before you got off.

You hugged your friend tight before you two left for the laboratory.

"I managed to recover the wreckage of your machine" She tells you with animation. You push down any insecurity as you smile, and hand her the projects that have been locked away in your room for five years.

You will work together again. It will take some time, due to the amount of tasks, but you will have this as your main project.

After three days, you and Bucky return home.

Before you enter the compound, he calls out to you.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks with a worried look, you nod.

"They belong together, Buck." You say with a bitter taste in your mouth. Bucky has an almost pitying look on his face and you hate it, so you are changing your stance. "Don't say anything to Wanda, though. I can't give her hopes like that and fail. She can only know if I succeed."

Bucky nods in understanding and you walk back.

//-//

Your heart and your body belong completely to Wanda Maximoff. You eventually realize this when you return to the compound, and even though you are secretly working to resurrect her dead boyfriend, you can't resist her.

Perhaps the best choice would have been to end things between you, but all you can do is completely melt in her presence. You laugh at her jokes, engage in her conversations, and fall apart in her kisses.

The trips to Wakanda become more frequent over the next month, and you begin to miss Wanda terribly when you are away, but you use this frustration to work.

It's May, and you'll need to travel again just three days after you arrive, and by the way things are going well, this should be your last trip to Wakanda. 

"Okay, Shuri, thanks for letting me know. I'll get everything ready." You tell her through the hologram in your room and she smiles before hanging up. You are startled when you notice Wanda at the door.

"Are you leaving again?" She asks annoyed and you nod sadly. 

You hope that Wanda will not be as upset as she has been the last few times. You obviously don't tell her the reason you go to Wakanda so much, and Bucky covers for you by saying it was confidential. It has been enough to maintain the logic that the less people knew, the less dangerous it was, and Wanda believes it.

"I'll call you while I'm there" You tell her trying to soften her annoyance as she walks into her room closing the door.

"It's not the same." She mumbles moving closer only to pass her arms around your torso. "I miss you."

You feel your heart soar as you hug her back. You know that the sentence refers to the new distance you have put between you, and part of you wants to confess everything. But you hold your words back.

"Everything is going to be okay, Wanda." You tell her disguising any sign of your recent need to cry. "This is going to be the last time."

Wanda then releases you, looking at you tenderly. You smile back, and she moves in to kiss you.

You know those kisses. The ones she only gives when you are alone, or when you have been apart too long. Kisses that are dangerous to cross barriers that you didn't know if she was ready to cross, and that also make your body hot and take your breath away.

Going out for almost seven months, this was the only line you hadn't crossed yet. Honestly, your cuddling sessions were borderline. But there were so many other things about your relationship that sex really wasn't the focal point. 

And then you had Wanda kissing you like this and you couldn't resist.

Letting your hands slide down her body, you felt her sigh against your lips as you squeezed her ass, pressing her forward against you.

You began to walk with Wanda around the room, exchanging passionate, hot kisses, until she stumbled on the bed and you fell over her body on the mattress.

When your clothes came off, you reached for one of her hands and entwined it in yours on top of her head, kissing her neck as you trembled at the sound of her moans.

Wanda came on your fingers, moaning your name with her eyes closed and mouth open as you kept your free hand entwined in hers. You looked at her with adoration, thinking she was absolutely perfect.

You came against her thigh, and then she came in your mouth a few moments later. You repeated it one more time until your bodies were too tired to do it again. 

You woke up first the next day, and while preparing coffee, you felt your face getting wet. You were going to lose her again. But you quickly wiped the tears away. She was never really yours to lose.

//-//

Bucky didn't come back to Wakanda with you, and you figured he had some other mission. You also insinuated that he was spending a lot of time outside the compound with Sam, and laughed when he got flushed and told you to go fuck yourself.

When you arrived at Shuri's lab, you didn't sleep properly for two weeks.

//-//

Non-Reader Pov

Bucky nodded slightly when Wanda entered the kitchen. She had been really upset these days, feeling lonely. But Y/N made the soldier promise to check on her girlfriend often and keep her company, so that's exactly what he's been doing.

After coffee, he suggested that they walk around the compound for a while, and the witch accepted.

"You know, I think Nat would like to see you two together." Commented the soldier with a smile. Wanda grumbled in agreement, slightly distracted, but then she assumed a confused expression.

"What do you mean?" She asked and Bucky blinked curiously. "How did Nat know that Y/N liked me?"

Bucky let out a short laugh also confused by the conversation.

"What do you mean, Wanda? Everyone knew all along."

Wanda stops walking, blinking with confusion.

"Bucky, what? No, Y/N and I only fell in love after Thanos, what do you..."

Bucky laughs in disbelief and confusion.

"Whoa, she really didn't tell you." He says surprised and at Wanda's expression, he straightens his posture, putting his hands in his pockets as he looks at her. "Look, maybe it wasn't the best idea for me to be the one to tell you, but I imagine since you're together now it won't make much difference." He says, sighing slightly. "She's been in love with you ever since you joined the Avengers. You were the reason she fought alongside Steve when he defied the law for me. Everyone always knew."

Wanda shook her head, surprised and incredulous.

"Bucky what are you saying?" Wanda muttered more to herself than to the soldier. Bucky just looked at her curiously.

"All these years, and you never knew." He said surprised.

Wanda felt her eyes fill with tears.

"But... Why didn't she say anything?" She asked holding back the tears. "I... She's been with me all this time, and... how could she not have said anything?"

Bucky shrugged. 

"You had Vision, Wanda. She didn't want to make things awkward." He says. "She used to tell Natasha that loving you was enough. She never needed you to love her back."

Wanda gasps in surprise and cries, running her hands through her hair. Thousands of memories flashing through her mind at once. All the times Y/N was by her side, their escapes from the tower, their pranks, their jokes. The way she always stood up for her, helped her on missions, in training. How she blew up the TV set in the briefing room the day the government agent broadcast the report of what happened on Sokovia to the team in an attempt to shock them with Wanda's mistake. Pietro's grave, the way she took care of everything and assured Wanda that she was happy to help. But mostly in the way she always smiled when Wanda told her about Vision, how she supported her when they were on the run, and how she didn't leave her side when she was grieving. 

Wanda couldn't imagine how much it must have hurt to watch the person you love, loving someone else.

Wanda let out a dry laugh, finally letting the tears flow. 

"All this time, and she loved me in secret." She mumbles breathlessly. "How could she bear it?"

Bucky looked away.

"Well, she's always tougher than most."

Wanda shook her head, laughing sadly.

"Take me to Wakanda."

//-//

Reader Pov

You did it.

"Shuri, is this really happening?" You ask with a mixture of surprise and excitement. Your eyes completely glaze over in front of you. 

The door to the machine you created then opened, a metallic noise filling the room. It took the machine man a few seconds to open his eyes, and when he did you held your breath.

"You really did it." Shuri said to you impressed and looking forward as well.

"We did." You retorted taking a step towards the being that was looking at you with curiosity. He seemed to be getting used to the idea of being online again. "Vision?"

The question escaped your lips firmly, although your heart was racing.

Vision moved out of the machine, looking around.

"I'm confused." The male voice filled the room. "I think I've been asleep. My last memory is of a field."

You gasp, feeling your eyes fill with water.

"I can't believe you're here, buddy" You tell him, stepping forward to hug him. Vision doesn't respond however, still appearing to be in shock.

When you let go, you are smiling.

"I'll explain everything to you, Vis."

Shuri leads you to a meeting room, and she keeps checking Vision's functionality signals while you talk for a bit. You tell him about the blip, about his death, and a little about Thanos. He is different, maybe it is the stone. He seems more mechanical and logical than ever, talking about statistics and asking about social impacts. You just think he needs to get used to the world again.

"There's someone coming to see you" Shuri announces after a moment while fiddling with her computer. 

"T'Challa wants to check if we are eating properly again?" You joke and Shuri laughs, but then she frowns.

"Actually it's..."

The door to the room then opens. You get up from your armchair in surprise to see Wanda standing there. She looks at you with adoration in her eyes, but her expression falls completely when she notices who is beside you.

Her face is a mixture of surprise, disbelief, and confusion. You swallow dryly, ignoring the urge to cry, and force yourself to smile shyly.

Wanda walks towards you slowly.

"I've been working to bring him back, Wanda." You explain in a husky voice. "To bring him back to you."

Wanda's eyes are filled with tears, and she gasps as Vision rises from the armchair, looking at her curiously. 

"How...?" Wanda asks breathlessly, but she sobs then moves forward to embrace the robot. 

You feel your heart break, because it is over. You smile however, nodding to Shuri lightly as you leave the two of them alone.

When you reach the hallway, your hands and legs are shaking and you lean on the wall to keep from falling to the floor. Bucky is joining the two of you as Shuri looks at you with concern.

"Everything okay?" She asks touching your arm lightly. You nod frantically.

"I did what I had to do." You say breathlessly, holding back tears. "She...She's happy."

Bucky exchanges a look with Shuri and then he is asking if he can hug you. You nod slightly and when he does, you collapse.

//-//

You are avoiding Wanda.

It's childish, but you feel your heart ache every time you think about seeing her, so you're trying to buy time to only talk to her again when you can show that you're happy for her.

It has been two days since she arrived in Wakanda.

You and Bucky are in rooms in the same hallway, and you know that Shuri has set up facilities for Vision and Wanda to be together. You haven't seen her yet, and it's all due to the fact that you accepted whatever task the king had to keep you well away from the castle.

You returned very late to your room on the third day, and Bucky was waiting for you in the hallway.

"You two need to talk." He said, following you into the room as you sighed.

"I know, Buck." You grumble taking off your jacket. "I just need time, I...I think I'll crumble if I see her again"

Bucky runs his hand across his face, slightly impatient. 

"No, you don't understand." He says. "You just brought her dead boyfriend back, you can't just ignore her."

You throw yourself on the bed, closing your eyes.

"I'm really considering alcoholism now." You grumble, and Bucky laughs lightly. 

"Talk to her." He says before turning to leave.

You take a while to fall asleep after that.

//-//

You see Wanda again. At a safe distance. Your heart feels like it is going to jump out of your chest.

She and Vision go out for a walk just before lunchtime. You look at them from the balcony, their silhouettes in the field of flowers. It's beautiful. You don't realize that you are crying.

Walking to Shuri's labs, you intend to accept some project, but she has a worried look on her face when she looks at you.

" There' s something wrong." She comments by showing you a graph that you don't understand at first. "While you were behaving like a child, we had some problems." The teasing makes you blush slightly, but you are too worried to respond. 

"What happened?"

Shuri sighs weakly.

"Wanda and Vision talked for a few hours. And then she realized what we didn't anticipate." She explained as she changed the chart. "Without the mind stone, Vision is just a computer program. There's nothing human in him anymore."

You blinked in confusion, and let out a short laugh.

"What are you talking about?" You ask, but before she answers you are talking again. "Vision was always a computer. His love for Wanda was his humanity."

Shuri shook her head in the negative.

"The mind stone created a connection with Wanda." She explained. "Without it, he is just a set of algorithms. He remembers everything he experienced, but he can no longer feel."

You gasp in surprise and then sit down on the floor, trying to understand exactly what you had done.

"I think our mistake was not accepting death." Shuri said after a while. "We can't reverse something like that. We should know."

"I can't believe I did that." You commented with a dry laugh. "I brought him back only for her to lose him again. My god what the fuck is wrong with me?"

Shuri walked over to you, kneeling in front of you, and placing a hand on your knee.

"You didn't know, okay?" She said trying to reassure you. " Your intentions were the best".

"That doesn't matter now". You grumble bitterly.

Eventually you get up, and decide that you should apologize.

Shuri tells you that she will handle everything with Vision, that she would ask him if he would like to continue to exist, if he had a purpose, or if he would like to be deactivated. You told her to make sure that he knew that he would always have a place on the Avengers team, and she smiled saying that Wakanda would also accept him.

//-//

Your heart was racing when you knocked on Wanda's door.

She used her powers to open it, and you walked in, finding her sitting on the bed, pensive.

"You finally decided to talk to me." She teased looking at the television. You swallowed dryly, twiddling your fingers nervously.

"I talked to Shuri." You begin with emotion showing in your voice. "She told me about...about everything. I'm so sorry Wanda." You cry. "I didn't know this was going to happen, I didn't mean to hurt you..."

Wanda blinks confusedly getting up as she approaches you, raising her hands to your face.

"It's okay." She assures wiping away your tears.

"No, it isn't. I brought him back only for you to lose him again, I can't believe I could do that to you, I'm sorry..."

"Stop. No." Wanda says shaking her head, her eyes filled with tears. She swallows her emotion as she looks at you tenderly. "You gave me a chance to say goodbye to him."

"Wanda..."

"I didn't have that chance before." She continues with a sad smile, "I am grateful for it."

"W-what?" you sigh breathlessly with incredulity.

Wanda smiled, stroking your cheek lightly.

"All this time, and you've been loving me in secret." She spoke tenderly, and you felt your face heat up.

"How...?"

"It doesn't matter." She interrupts shaking her head slightly, the look in her eyes is one of pure adoration. "I still don't understand how you can hide this from me, and..."

You shake your head, letting the tears flow.

"I just wanted you to be happy, Wanda." You interrupt with a smile. "It didn't have to be with me."

Wanda gasps slightly, and moves forward to kiss you on the mouth. The kiss doesn't last long, however, and she breaks away to bring your foreheads together.

"I love you." Wanda whispers against your lips, you sigh in surprise. "Sorry it took so long."

You let out a short laugh, hugging her. When she hooks her arms around your neck, you lift her off the ground, and Wanda lets out a giggle. You spin around, smiling, your chest exploding with happiness. 

//-//

On your last day in Wakanda, you visit Vision.

He is in one of the castle rooms, looking contemplative, and pours you a cup of tea.

After you talk about what he wants to become, you hug him goodbye and he looks at you curiously.

"I never directly asked you what your motivation was for doing all this." Vision begins with a curious posture. "Shuri told me about your affection for Wanda, but I never understood precisely."

You look away from the floor, kind of awkwardly.

"I thought you two were soulmates." You say to him, and Vision observes you for a few seconds before speaking.

"How could we be soul mates, if I never had a soul?" He asks and you raise your face in surprise. Vision just smiles slightly as he puts his hand on your shoulder. "I wish you had told her how you felt in the beginning. It would have prevented so much suffering."

"Hey, we would feel your loss even if Wanda liked me..."

"I was talking about you." He interrupts with a smile and you fall silent, not knowing what to say next. "I hope you'll be happy together. You have a high level of compatibility."

You laughed at the mechanical way Vision spoke and gave him one last hug before leaving in farewell.

//-//

You return to Wakanda the following year. Many things are different now, from your address, to Wanda's rings, and your last names.

#wanda maximoff #wandaxreader #wandaxyou #wandamaximoffxreader #wandamaximoffxyou #wanda x reader #wanda x you #wandamaximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #marvel imagines #the angst is so good though #angst #fluffly #happy ending

[strsburn]

destiny led me to you | loki

pairing - loki laufeyson x female reader

synopsis - driven by the heartbreak of losing your entire world by the hands of thanos, you set out to find him, leaving destruction in your path in multiple universes; thus creating a horde of branches in the timeline and catching the attention of the TVA.

but you would do it all again if it meant you could see him once more.

notes - this is hopefully going to be a series, depending on the feedback i receive, i plan to follow the episodes only slightly because i dont want it to be an exact copy of the show.

[THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR LOKI SERIES]

idea credit ( @horrorisunknowntoyou ) thank you for the inspo and allowing me to run with it!

warnings - death, violence, angst, and possible smut (in later chapters?)

wc - 2.4k

MASTERLIST • AO3

"Dread it, run from it. Destiny arrives all the same." A wrinkled hand reaches for your chin, running prune colored fingers along your jawline, doting; mockingly.

Your heartbeat pulses loudly in your ears, eyes glazing over with exhaustion and pain as you attempt to glare, the notion in vain as the titan merely chuckled amusedly.

"I can see great power in you, little one. An infinity stone pulses beneath your every vein. Tell me, where is the tesseract?"

You remain silent.

"We don't have the tesseract, it was destroyed along with all of Asgard." Thor interjects weakly from where he lies, his body held tightly in the arms of the black order.

Guilt sweeps across your being as you make eye contact with Loki, sharing a single nod as you both know what you must do.

Thanos grows annoyed with your unwillingness to comply as he walks over with loud steps, his footprints visible as he raises his gauntlet up, the power stone shining threateningly close to Thor.

"The tesseract, or your brother's head. I assume you have a preference." It's not a question. Merely a statement, one that Loki knows he must prove unbothered.

"Oh, I do. Kill away." To anyone else it would seem he couldn't care less about his brother's demise, but you know your love better than he does himself and you catch the glance of fear that washes over cerulean eyes.

You can only watch in trepidation as the stone makes contact with the God's head. Agonized cries escaping as his skin is burned by the mere power of the stone.

Loki does his best to look unaffected, but you catch the hitch in his breath as he batters inner turmoil. the universe, or his brother.

"Alright, that's enough!"

Loki turns his palm up, as a familiar blue cube materializes in his hand. The eerie blue glow casting a shadow upon his face.

Thanos steps away, smug. You force yourself to look away from Thor's accusing gaze.

"You truly are the worst, brother." Thor shakes his head, eyes disappointed but not surprised.

As Thanos moves to take the stone from his hand cerulean blue eyes make contact with your own and you feel a wave of fear wash over you as you recognize the look in Loki's eyes.

"I assure you, brother. The sun will shine on us again." He does not move his gaze from your own and you can't help but feel this is an unspoken goodbye.

"Your optimism is misplaced, asgardian."

"Well, for one thing, I'm not asgardian. For another, we have a hulk."

In a blur of color you are shoved from where you lie, a slithe figure covering your own as you breathe in the familiar scent of cinnamon and leather.

"We don't have much time, my love. I just want you to know that I love you dearly, and I am grateful for the time I had with you. May I see you again, in Valhalla." His eyes are teary and you barely process his words, as his hands grab hold of your face and pull you into a kiss.

The kiss is desperate, filled with love and grief and you can only briefly kiss your love back as he steps closer to Thanos, rambling on about undying fidelity.

You catch a glimpse of silver behind his back and you gasp as realization sets in.

You move to reach him just as he leaps for Thanos, the knife poised for his head, frozen in mid air as the stones across his knuckles pulse.

"Undying fidelity, you should choose your words more wisely."

You cry out as Loki struggles in his grip, his skin fading blue. You crawl forward, legs aching as you reach for him, your progress hinged by your inability to walk.

"You will never be a god." The rasped words are followed by a snap as his neck gives out beneath Thanos' hands.

A tortured scream rings out and it takes you a second to realize it's your own. A broken sob leaves you as you crawl forward to reach where Thanos has carelessly thrown the body of your love.

You heave as your shaky fingers caress his face, his lifeless eyes staring ahead as you clutch him to your chest.

You rock back and forth knotting your fingers in his hair as you plead for the nightmare to end.

"No resurrections this time."

A portal opens and closes behind you, yet you make no motion to move.

You simply close your eyes and welcome the sweet release of death as the universe explodes around you.

N E W Y O R K 2 0 1 2

"'Coordinates for search and rescue, on my way now.' I mean honestly, how-" Loki is promptly shut up by the mouth guard that decorates his face, courtesy of his brother.

Displeasure makes an appearance as Loki is led to the elevator followed by the avengers that quickly file in. The only source of entertainment being the temper tantrum the green beast throws as he is denied entry. Loki can hardly contain his glee as he waves mockingly as the doors close.

As he is led to the ground floor his cuffed hands clinking annoyingly with every step he glances wearily around himself, dreading the lecture that is sure to come once he reaches asgard. He has no doubt in his mind that Odin will find perfect reason to throw him to the wolves, lest his mother get involved.

As he contemplates, his attention is caught by the sound of his brother calling for help, the guards holding him, attending to what he perceives to be a heart attack, to none other than the man of metal.

He watches, confused as a small stature kicks the case holding the tesseract away from view as the others tend to Stark.

Looking around bemused he watches to see what will conspire next. Before any other move can be made a shout is heard as the doors to the staircase along with the wall is torn apart, the hulk making his distaste for the tedious activity known.

For once since meeting the beast he feels thankful, as the case holding the tesseract is knocked open, the familiar cube sliding towards his foot.

A beat passes and grabbing a hold of the familiar cube he glances around, vanishing in a thin cloud of blue.

T V A U N K N O W N

Hurried footsteps echo down the corridor as the man moves with barely contained excitement. Tie swinging to and fro, a slightly wrinkled hand pulls at the collar of his neck nervously.

Mobius had seen many variants in his time at the TVA. Yet, none had ever come close to interesting as the file he currently held in one hand. Variant L1130 or Loki, as he was called, was perhaps one of the most complicated cases he had come across.

Born as a legend of mythology it was quite unbelievable to know that not only was he real, but he happened to be in their custody for creating a new branch in the timeline. Mobius could only hope Renslayer would agree to allowing him to be the God's superior.

Entering the courtroom, Mobius sits down and watches with rapt attention as Loki attempts to bargain with Ravonna. His plans are foiled as he tries to call upon his magic in a last effort to escape.

Mobius feels it's time to intervene when Renslayer makes it clear he is to be executed.

"You have no idea what I am capable of!"

"Actually I might have an idea of what he is capable of." He offers as he makes his way up to the stand.

His plea must be written across his face as Ravonna leans over to look at him directly.

"Whatever you're planning, it's a bad idea." She warns.

Nonetheless she reluctantly lets him go and Mobius has to fight off the urge to fist pump the air as he escorts Loki down the hallway.

"Oh, I'm Agent Mobius by the way." He offers a hand that is quickly ignored.

He can practically see the distrust written on Loki's face, his eyes calculating every move he makes.

Mobius is hardly surprised that as soon as he enters the room, his back turned to the God as he adjusts his projector, Loki is surging forward to attack. He doesn't even bat an eyelash as he clicks a button on his remote, resetting the God as if the action never even happened.

"C'mon, let's take a look at some of your greatest hits." Mobius waves a hand, as Loki curiously sits down, eyes trained on the projector.

He finds himself staring back at a hologram of his attack on New York. His blue eyes darting back and forth with glee as chaos erupts around him.

A feeling of something akin to shame runs down his spine as he recalls his reign of terror on the city, an illusion of preying on the weak to hide his own fear, lest he fail and succumb to Thanos and his minions.

Loki clenches his jaw, arms crossing over his form in an attempt to hide himself as he turns to avoid the screen.

"I see no point in this-"

"No, no wait, this is just getting good." Mobius grins as he points to the screen and Loki finds himself once again face to face with another variation of himself.

He briefly recalls the time he had lost a bet to Thor and had to change his form into that of a ginger haired man wearing a clean three piece suit, claiming he had a bomb and required over two hundred thousand in midgardian money just to see if he could pull it off. He did, in fact, pull it off, but his mother was not happy as well as the midgardians who failed to solve the case, naming him D.B. Cooper as they had no clue as to his real identity.

His attention is pulled to the screen as a familiar voice of silk enters the scene and he watches as his mother speaks to his future self, his eyes drawn into her face.

"Then am I not your mother?" He hears her ask. Yes, you are.

"No. You are not." Loki's eyes start to mist as he watches the look of hurt pass over his mother's features before she schools her expression into one of contempt.

"Always so perceptive, about everyone but yourself." She decides.

The screen flickers and he sees himself talking to an intruder, his voice amused as he suggests the monster to take the stairs to the left.

Then, his mother, Frigga, lying on the cold ground, a puddle of red growing rapidly beneath her body as her eyes remained closed.

His breath hitches, anger now licking up his spine. He turns sharply to Mobius who smartly remains silent.

"What is this! Some cruel joke? Where is she?! Where do you have her?"

Mobius steps forward, expression neutral as he speaks.

"She's dead Loki. This is the future, it's destined to happen, again and again because that's how it should be."

Loki falters his eyes narrowing as he spits "You're lying! I'll kill you!"

"What? Like you killed your mother."

There's a split second of silence before an angered shout is heard, a chair splitting the air as it crashes into pieces along the floor.

Before anything else can be said Mobius is summoned by Hunter B-15, his eyes falling to Loki who remains silent and he leaves with a slight tinge of guilt burrowing in his chest at the haunted look in the God's eyes.

"You think yourself so sly don't you." Loki looks up at the unfamiliar voice as the projector suddenly comes to life, a new image flicking gently on screen. His eyes catch upon your form and he watches in awe and wonder as you sit beside his future self.

"I don't think, love. I know." He grins leaning in to steal a kiss from you that leaves you both breathless.

He watches as your eyes are filled with nothing but love and adoration for him as you lean into his side.

"Loki?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

Loki tilts his head in contemplation as he looks to you, before a soft grin pulls at his lips.

"I didn't until I met you. I know that no matter who or what tries to tear us apart, we will always find a way back to each other."

A smile breaks out onto your face and Loki watches in stunned silence as the clip ends with the two of your voices fading into laughter.

"You two are meant to be together."

Loki turns as Mobius slowly comes to a stop behind him, his expression thoughtful.

"I don't enjoy hurting people you know." He responds, motioning towards the screen in reference to his attack on New York and the death of his mother.

Mobius doesn't respond, and he takes that as a sign to continue.

"I do it because I have to. Because I've had to." He looks down as he fiddles with his fingers.

Mobius hums as he replies.

"Why? Why do you think that is?"

"It's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear."

Realization lights up in Mobius' eyes as he answers back.

"A desperate play for control. You do know yourself."

"A villain." Loki sums up.

"Not the way I see it."

There's a mutual silence between them before Mobius sighs.

"Look I can't offer you salvation but I can offer you something better. A fugitive variant has been killing our minutemen."

"And let me guess, you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him."

"That's right."

"How could I possibly be of use to you?"

"That's the thing. The variant we are hunting, we believe is y/n." Mobius looks towards the projector where your image is still.

"I beg your pardon?"

U N K N O W N

Mutilated bodies line the floor as a hooded figure steps over them, eyes glowing an unnatural hue.

"Is it finished?"

"Yes."

A wicked laugh fills the empty space as a portal opens in the deserted land, a set of footsteps following through.

"I'm coming for you, my love."

#loki series #loki x reader #loki laufeyson x female reader #tom hiddleston #loki spoilers #fanfic #loki fanfic #bizzarebarnes

[stuckybarton]

Another One Bites The Dust

Summary:  Another one of Tony's infamous parties ends with Tony urging the newer members of the Avengers into seeing who was worthy enough to lifting Thor's hammer. No one could have expected the measly girlfriend of Loki Laufeyson would have been worthy enough to lift the hammer. Not even Thor would have expected such an information.

Warning: A few curse words. Fluff. Crack!Fic? Overused Marvel Trope. Spelling and Grammar mistakes cuz English isn’t my first language. Not Beta’d. All mistakes are my own. Characters: Unnamed Female Character (reader insert?) x Loki Laufeyson; The rest of the Avengers.  Words: 1,518 A/N: I--I really don’t know how, but too much Soju while writing isn’t a good thing. At all.

One of the few things Y/N could never get used to are Tony Stark's lavish parties. Faces, both new and old were overwhelming at times. But the very idea of forgetting about the burden of their profession as well as having to socialize with people of different walks of life brought a new view in her mundane life.  It also didn't hurt to have her boyfriend talking to people instead of being the anti-social individual that he is always deemed to be.

But one of the favorite things she could say about the parties were when everyone was gone and the only people left were the team. To be able to let loose and just stopped worrying about work for once. No alien invasions, supremacist, or terrorist to hinder in their down time.

"Why do we have to do this again?" Clint groaned as everyone settled in their seats.

She finds herself settled on Loki's lap, hands intertwined and her back resting against his chest. Moments like this, even at the craziness of the people around them, their silence together means the most for her and she loved it, love this kinds of PDA that he had been more open to show--even for just the team at the very least.

"What are we doing again?" She asked, eyed as Thor placed his Mjölnir on the coffee table for everyone to see.

"Think of this as seeing everyone's potential. Who is worthy of being on the team." Tony explained, everyone responding with a resounding scoff. "Let's see if the new recruits could lift the hammer--which I still think is rigged."

She could hear Loki chuckle, the idea of anyone else besides Thor lifting the hammer was almost impossible. Loki had explained about the countless of warriors of Asgard that had dared to wield the hammer, but everyone failing.

"Okay, so Bird Man, Metal Arms, the Kid, and Y/N." Tony enumerates. "Let's see if you four could lift it up."

"I really think this isn't a good idea, Mr. Stark." Peter had pointed out but Sam was quick to stand up and hold onto the handle.

For the next half an hour, she had watched Sam try his best to lift the hammer but to no avail did not move even a fraction of a centimeter. It a lot out of the man to finally relent and agree with Tony that the hammer was rigged. Just as long as Sam had tried pulling the hammer, Bucky took shorter,  standing only to tug at the hammer and seeing he couldn't even lift the hammer immediately admits defeat.

"You can go ahead, Ms. L/N." Peter insists.

She stared at her boyfriend for a moment, instead of the annoyance she was used to expecting from the man, in front of her was eyes of curiosity. Dilated green eyes wide as his tongue peaked through his teeth.  With the rest of the team egging her own, she finally leaves the comfort of Loki's lap and make her way towards the coffee table where the hammer rested.

"Don't worry if you can't lift it, we won't be surprised judging by your choice in men." Tony pointed out.

She had rolled her eyes, there had been a handful of reasons why the first few months of their relationship was hidden to the team. Tony Stark was one of the biggest and most annoying reason.

Taking a deep breath and downing the rest of her drink, she had placed the glass just besides the hammer and immediately felt the spark of power from the weapon. Had anyone noticed it, she was yet to decide as everyone else seemed more amused with their own things. But Loki, he had his attention focused solely on her.

"So what do I get if I lift this?" she teased one hand finally holding onto the handle and the surge of electricity only made her let go.

"If you can lift that, then I'd buy you a new car and you'd probably rule Asgard among other things." Tony snorts.

Taking a deep breath, she held the handle now with both of her hands and with all the strength she had she lifted the hammer and landed straight on her back with the hammer resting on her chest like it weighed nothing. Loki and Thor were quick to make their way towards her. Everyone now laid silence in a mix of confusion and shock about what had just happened.

"Y/N!" Loki was both amused and worried for her well being especially with such a weapon in her hands, while Thor stood almost lifeless besides him as she had now stood back up, with the hammer still at hand.

"I think I've overestimated myself." she tried to brush of the embarrassment of landing on her back as her attention was now focused on the hammer. It was light as a feather in her hands and it made no sense to her now how Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes were incapable of lifting up the hammer.

"I knew Point Break had hots for you." Tony was the first to point out. "He probably programmed that thing for you too." He continued.

With a roll of her eyes, she had signaled for Peter to come forward and much as the protest of the two brothers, handed the hammer to the kid. Everyone in silence for the fraction of a second the spider boy could lift the hammer, before crashing face first onto the floor leaving even Tony speechless and now eating his words.

"So, do I get to pick the car?" she teased earning an eye roll from Tony, but relented as he called for FRIDAY for further assistance.

~

Everyone slowly headed back to their own rooms one by one, leaving the two Asgardians and Y/N alone. The hammer now once again in her grasp, a smile resting on her lips at the weapon accepting her as someone worthy enough to carry it.

"Only thing left is marry Loki and now we can rule Asgard together." she teased earning a snicker from Loki and Thor rolling his eyes at the thought. Now taking the hammer away from her hands, she was left to pout at the man and his killjoy antics.

"I still cannot understand for the life of me how this is possible." Thor muttered before excusing himself to retreat to his own room for the night.

"You've annoyed the oaf and hurt his pride in one night, I'm impressed, Y/N." Loki smirked, pulling her right back into his lap, in the same position they had been throughout the party. Hands held each others and the mix of coldness of his chest soothed her more than anything.

"You're a bad influence." she teased leaning back until her head now rested on his shoulders. "But does this change anything about me--about us?" she asked, now wondering what this would mean for her.

"I don't believe it would." he responds kissing their intertwined hands.

"But I don't feel like I'm worthy." she points out. "I just joined the Avengers, and I'm not anyone's favorite cause I'd like to spend my time with you instead of them."

"That makes you more worthy." he explained. "For the life of me don't really care about being anyone's favorite but yours and I'm fine with that. I can live with that thought for an entire eon and I'll be alright with it. Happy as well."

Silence had once again lingered in the two of them. It brought back the reason why she loved being with Loki. He understood her in a way no one else did. He always considered her feelings but always tell the truth no matter what the cost may be for their relationship. He was the God of Mischief to her, but never had his silver tongue and his lies make their way towards her and she was happy for it. He was never one to make a fool of her nor did a lie of any kind linger on any of their conversation.

"I love you, Loki Laufeyson." she whispered now turning herself so she now faced him. Arms now wrapped around his neck and her face nuzzled onto the crook of his neck.

"I love you too, Y/N Y/L/N." he whispered, hands rested on the curves of her waist pulling her even closer to him in the embrace.

'NO FUCKING IN THE COMMON AREA.'

The disembodied sound of Tony's voice immediately had the two of them pulling away from each other and glaring at the cameras both of them were certain Tony was watching them in.

"Still have the prank ready?" she asked finally get back to her heat, the mood ruined.

"Ready as it will ever be, Love." he muttered standing back up himself.

"As soon as I get the car from Stark, we can mess up the rest of his car." she smirked pulling the man with her back to their own room, the planned already in motion. Tony shouldn't have annoyed her as much as he did for the entirety of the night.

#Loki imagines #loki laufeyson x you #loki x reader #loki laufeyson imagine #loki laufeyson imagines #loki laufeyson x reader #loki oneshot #loki laufeyson oneshot

[youlackconviction]

People keep trying to defend the sylki ship by saying "But they don't share DNA , look there's a black and alligator Loki and the obviously can't share DNA." And it's like it would still be weird and bad if Loki hooked up with boastful or croki.

A metaphor for Self Love shouldn't be portrayed as romantic

there's not even any explanation given as to why or how LOKI is an alligator. in his universe is all of asgard also alligators? or are the frost giants alligators? did odin... adopt an alligator and force everyone to pretend he was a brother to thor? or was it a spell that went wrong, or did LOKI just decide one day to try it out and preferred it?

how about, why all of his variants look nothing like him to the extreme of even being portrayed as racially distinct? except for pres and maybe classic (since he's portrayed much older and the two actors do resemble one another physically); yet wanda's and strange's variants from the MoM trailers exactly match them physically?

the writers didn't bother to think about it, is my opinion. the alligator was chucked in for crack comedy value and it's an insult to THINKING to try and take it seriously and rationalise it. and it's not like tom couldn't have played multiple characters opposite himself.

the whole thing's a nonsense mess, and trying to form actual explanations from what we were offered in that contradictory pile of events they call a cohesive tv series is just a fool's errand. taking more than a cursory look at the story reveals so many plot holes and leads that don't go anywhere... misleads really. it becomes frustrating and even infuriating to attempt to create integrated sensible meta from it. trust me, we've really tried.

but alllllll that aside... whatever the genealogy of the other variants, sylvie is called laufeydottir. the show explicitly created her as a child of laufey, just as LOKI is. that makes them siblings and it just doesn't matter what you say about it. you can make all the dna arguments you like, in this case they simply fall apart from within the series' OWN lore.

so either ship them and own that you don't care about fantasy incest, or don't ship them for whatever reasons you don't (and mine are SO much more comprehensive than the incest angle) but don't lie to yourselves about who she is genetically.

as for self-love... loving someone who's not you is the very definition of NOT experiencing self-love. it's not even like the variant the series matches LOKI with resembles him, or has had any similar experiences. hers have been completely different right from birth it seems, with not even having had her heritage concealed from her. and the showrunners go to SUCH pains to underline how she's not LOKI, she's her own totally separate and unique person... she won't even let anyone call her that.

so no. it's not self-love, it never was, and the only reason they shoehorn remarks like that in there is because so many fans wanted LOKI to have a chance to stop hating everything about himself and experience some real emotional healing for the first time in his life.

still waiting...

#in defense of loki #this got longer than i planned #oh well #marvel hates loki and tom #loki deserves better #justice for loki

[asgardwinter]

Tough Human

fictober day 31 | “Take me with you.”

summary | You hated seeing him leave, so you decided you’d go with him.

fandom | Marvel

pairing | Loki x Reader

warnings | this is just a bunch of fluff with a tiny little sprinkle of angst

word count | 780

author’s note | this is just really a perfect reality where Frigga is alive, Thor and Loki keep coming from Earth to Asgard and help the Avengers. this is also the last day of fictober and I'd like to thank everyone that's been here during this month (and before too 🙃). even if I didn't do all the blurbs it was still a lot but I'm really happy with the result 🥰

🍁 fictober 2021 masterlist 🍁 Loki Laufeyson masterlist 🍁

“I hate seeing you leave.” You said, spreaded out in Loki’s bed — it was more like your bed too during the last month.

“Darling, you think I like it even a bit?” Loki turned his head to you, giving himself a break on the task of grabbing the little amount of stuff he’d like to take with him to Asgard.

He never took anything on those diplomatic missions between Midgard and his own realm before you two were together. The clothing he wore here wouldn’t be suitable in Asgard and vice versa. Now, with you, Loki always took some little but special possessions, a small book you gave to him with a handwritten note on it’s back cover and a picture of you both at a balcony in one of Stark’s numerous parties.

There was no way you could deny how that little detail made you feel so special. His decision to take a piece of you, only you, from all things on Earth was incredibly flattering.

Loki walked closer to where you laid, kneeling on the side of the bed to give you a comforting kiss on your forehead.

“I know you don’t like it. Believe me, I hate this ‘world apart’ distance relationship we have to settle for now, but it is better than nothing at all.” He said looking deep in your eyes. “One day it’ll all be over.”

“When?” You asked him barely after he finished talking. “Will there be a day you’ll move here? To Earth? Or Take me to Asgard with you at least?”

Maybe you sound unfair — you knew you did —, but your whole relationship was based on the hope that one day Loki wouldn’t leave for one complete month regularly.

“You could take me with you now.” You suggested, but it wasn’t the first time you tried that.

“We already talked about it and it’s best for Earth that you stay right here where you are. You’ve got a job and are one of the most intelligent people on your planet, that’s for sure. I can’t just take you to another realm.” He repeated himself with every detail carefully placed. “Besides, Stark would kill me.”

“The last one is a lie. You’d never care about what Tony thinks and he wouldn’t kill you, just be really mad.” You started your counterattack. “I can find a way to work from there, isn't it you that is always bragging about Asgardian tech? I can learn from you guys.” Now you were seated on the bed, looking at your kneeling boyfriend almost at eye level. “I’m really not asking for us to just leave Earth and move permanently, just for you to let me go with you this one time. Take me with you.”

Loki was quite reluctant to take you to Asgard. He remembered what Thor said about Odin’s interaction with Jane and he had the impression that you, another curious human scientist, wouldn’t cause much of a different situation.

“There’s something else, right?” You whispered, clearly becoming more and more upset. “What is it?”

He breathed sharply before continuing. “I’m afraid about how my father will react.”

It was old news for you the bad relationship between Loki and Odin, so you never thought he’d actually pay that much attention to you, he’d probably choose to focus on more important stuff and let you pass after all Loki did and went through. Clearly you were hoping for too much.

Your voice was weak when you spoke again. “Why?”

“Because I don’t want him to scare away the best thing that has ever happened to me!” He blurted out. “That’s the reason why I intend to delay this meeting until I can. Because I’m afraid he’ll be bitter as always when things lead to me.”

“Hey.” You called his attention, carefully cupping his chin to make his shiny green eyes meet you. “He couldn’t scare me alway even if you asked him to do it. I’m a tough human, remember?” He laughed a little at your attempted joke. His tough human. “And how will I meet your mother if I don’t deal with your father? You talk so much about her I think I can make some sacrifices to have a nice conversation with her.”

“I think she’d love to.” Loki said, more to himself than you. “Actually, she already likes you a lot because of what I tell her.”

You stayed there in silence, each one analyzing what was coming ahead in the next page of the story.

“Take me with you.” You asked again. You promised yourself it was the last time you'd ask.

This time Loki smiled widely before answering you. “Pack your things, my love.”

ps: now I have a taglist!

#fictober21 #loki x reader #gn!reader #loki x you #loki imagine #loki laufeyson x reader #loki fanfic #loki reader insert #loki x reader fluff #loki x gn!reader #loki x gender neutral reader #loki layfeyson imagine #loki blurb #loki laufeyson reader insert #loki laufeyson x gender neutral reader #marvel x reader #fictober

[heyheyloki]

The Thought Of You

Summary: Not remembering the night before, the reader distances himself from Loki.

Loki x M!Reader

It was always one thing. Perhaps it was Tony and Steve arguing, or maybe Thor bothering Loki, and maybe it was you making fun of the spider boy. Whatever it was, it was exciting for others to watch. However, between all the fighting, Loki and you never did. It was odd to everyone else since they had this deep hatred for the God of Mischief. To you, you didn’t care, you enjoyed Loki’s presence and always knew if you needed a break from the others, you’d go to him. He was always there, even if the two of you started out on a bumpy road since he was hesitant of you when you first came around. 

Loki thought you’d be like everyone else, so it wasn’t totally personal. Though, after your many attempts to get to know him, his wall eventually fell around you and then, the bonding started.  Everyone around the two of you thought it was weird, after all, Loki was the man who wanted to take over Earth and sent an army onto New York City. Even with that fact, it never seemed to bother you.

Tony Stark always thought something would happen between the two of you, and Thor was more than supportive is it came to be. Steve had some issues since he was close to you as well and just wanted the best for you, and, well, he just didn’t think that ‘best’ was Loki. Nat and Clint seemed indifferent, but were happy with anything you decided. Banner, on the other hand, flipped from Tony and Steve’s perspective at times.

You always told them that Loki and you were just friends, but Loki never seemed to comment on it. In the back of your mind, you knew the god had looks but you cherished the relationship between you and him now. You didn’t need to progress it further since you were quite comfortable where it was. Though, perhaps that was about to change.

After a late night of drinking and dancing courtesy of Tony Stark, you were out for the count. By the time your hung over eyes had opened, you noticed it was almost noon. A groggy groan escaped your chest as you sat up from your rather large bed, again, courtesy of Tony Stark. Your body didn’t even take up half of it, and speaking of your body, when you gazed down at it you noticed your fluffy, grey night robe.

You didn’t exactly remember putting it on, but you didn’t care much. At least, you didn’t care then. When your ears started to work once more, you couldn’t help but notice the sound of your shower running. It was connected to your room and when you gazed towards the door that was shut, the light underneath was shining through.

“What did I drink last night?” You mumbled to yourself as you collapsed back into the bed, your body bouncing a bit.

As your mind tried to figure out what had happened the night before, you heard the shower faucet squeeze close and the water stop it’s pattering. You didn’t bother to look, not that you weren’t curious who you probably slept with last night, but you just didn’t care. It wasn’t common for you to have one-night stands but it wasn’t something you didn’t participate in from time to time.

You could hear the person turn the doorknob before it creaked open, their bare feet stepping across your hardwood tile getting louder as they stepped closer.

“Are you up yet, [Name]?” The stranger asked. Though, that voice wasn’t a stranger to your mind.

Your eyes fluttered open to get a look at a man half naked in your room, the towel around his waist poorly done as if he’d never done it before. The long, black hair he had was wet and textured with like curls. His body had little muscle but his thin figure made up for it, the muscle he did have off subtle lines about his body that was beyond a godly sight.

“Uh, Loki?” You mumbled out, his eyes looking at you as if waiting for you to continue moving your lips.

Though, when you didn’t, he answered with a confused, “Uh, that is my name.”

“Right, right.” You uttered, his words snapping you out of your mind. Without even a second thought, you hopped out of your bed. You quickly tied up your night robe since you didn’t seem to be wearing anything underneath except for a pair of boxers. “I’m, uh, gonna go talk to Tony.”

“Stark?” Loki questioned. “Why?”

“Oh, yanno, Avenger stuff.” You chuckled out as you slowly began to inch for the exit.

“I can occupy you, if you wish.”

“No!” You screamed. Your voice startling both you and him. You cleared your throat to quickly say, “I think he wants to do a few tests on me. You know how those are, very private. I’ll see you later, ya? Okay, bye!”

Your hand reached around for the door handle and slipped yourself into the hallway before slamming the door shut behind you. Your back soon going against it as you took in deep breaths. It could have been anyone else, anyone in the damn place and you would have been fine. But, Loki? Why did it have to be him that your drunken self choose?

“I’m so gonna get shit for this,” You uttered as you began to travel down the hallway towards the main area of the building.

“Morning, [Name].” Nat said as she and Clint sat on the couch watching movies.

You nodded in her direction before shuffling into the kitchen. You needed something cold, or hot. No in between for this one. As you were pouring yourself a cup of coffee, you heard footsteps make way towards you.

“What’s up with you?” You heard. Your eyes gazing over at Nat who stared at you with crossed arms.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” she started out saying. Her body slowly making way towards yours. “Normally, every morning, you say good morning back. You never give a simple nod. So, what’s wrong with you?”

Your eyes blinked rapidly for a moment before letting out a sigh. You knew there was no way for you to get out of this one, but than again you didn’t want her to spill anything to Steve, Banner, or Clint. So, you gave a half lie.

“Just not to happy with who I found in my bed this morning.” You laughed off. “Nothing to worry about.”

Nat stared, her eyes moving up and down before giving a simple, “Okay. Just make sure whoever the mystery man is is out before Tony comes back.”

“He’s not here?”

“Nope. He went out for a bit, but he’ll be back soon.” Nat explained.

You nodded before grabbing your coffee and heading out. You weren’t sure where to go. You wanted to go back in your room, but you didn’t know if Loki was still there. You wanted to go sit in the living room, but you didn’t want questions from the others. So, you choose the next best thing. Wonder about the halls. It wasn’t as bad as you thought, in fact, it was quite therapeutic when gazing out at the birds that flew about. You seriously thought you’d get a break, well, that was until you felt a tap on your shoulder. 

You turned around, the soft smile on your lips dropping, your body grew hot at the God of Mischief that stared back.

“Are you alright?” Loki questioned. “You seem.. off.”

“Wha, um, what?” You asked, your throat going dry as your mind thought about what could have transpired the night before. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

Loki tilted his head as he eyed you up and down. You noticed every single, tiny detail about him to the point were you noticed the small flicker of his eyes, the tiny redness of the tips of ears. Not to mention the explosive feeling when his hand came to rest on your lower back way too casually.

You quickly grabbed his wrist, your grip tight but not tight enough for Loki to notice a difference. “What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” He questioned. For he first time since you’ve met him, he sounded completely innocent. “Would you like me to take you back your quarters? You look rather flushed, are you sick?”

“N-No, I’m not sick.” You stuttered out as you pushed his hand off of your body. The lingering effects causing your mind to turn foggy, it was the first time in a while that you felt such an effect from a simple touch of another. “I’ll go to my room by myself.”

“I don’t mind the trouble, really, allow me to occupy you.” Loki stated. His body ready to move right along side yours.

“No, seriously.” You stated as your hand came straight flush against his chest. The moment it hit, your words ceased to exist. It felt odd, to fell his heartbeat. You never thought in your lifetime would you be able to feel it, much less this clearly. Though, something was off with it cause you swore for a single second that you felt it skip a beat.

“I, um,” you hummed out as you placed your hand back at your side. “I’ll go by myself.”

When you turned away from the God of Mischief, it was like your entire body became cold. The feeling of him slowly slipping away from your presence was almost the worst feeling you’ve ever experienced before. It was like moving away towards the perfect, most handsome looking sun you’ve ever laid your eyes on.

When your back fell into the bed, it was like everything you were feeling hit you at once. All the things you kept towards the back of your mind came to the front, center stage. All these questions entered your mind.

What did you say to Loki while drunk?

You know he isn’t effected by Midgardian liquor, so, he was completely sober. If so, did he take advantage of your drunk state?

Sure, he was Loki and tried to take over Earth at one point. But you wouldn’t call him evil, at worse you’d give him the ‘bad boy’ label.

Did you really sleep with him?

“Shit,” you grumbled to yourself as you began to bite down on your bottom lip. You knew you had some kind of feelings for Loki, and yes you shut them down as quick as they came for obvious reasons, but you didn’t want everything to come undone just from some liquor. If anything, you at least wanted to tell him at the right time when you were sober.

Turning on your side, you pressing your knees into your chest. It really was nagging, this unknown feeling. You knew the only way you were going to get answers was from Loki himself. However, the thought of that was too much. It was like you were ripping off a bandage that you had just placed on. You were frightened that when it came undone, the painful ripping would completely tear away at what relationship was already there.

“Sir,” Jarvis called out. This wasn’t uncommon since Tony had made sure to install Jarvis in every aspect of this place. “Dinner is ready. Everyone is waiting on you.”

“Okay, thank you.” You hummed out as you gathered yourself before heading out once more. Was it too much for you to be left alone today?

When you made your appearance at the large set table, everyone finally began to eat. Steve made it top priority that everyone must be present before eating, for some reason unknown to Tony and you.

You were seated next to Tony and Thor, Loki sat across from you with Natasha and Steve on either side of him. The food that was presented to you was a simple meal. Take-out. You knew everyone had kitchen duty at least once a week, so you began to believe it was Tony’s week thanks to this being the third time take out was for dinner. Though, you were impressed how he managed to make simple take out so impressively set out like it was from a five-star restaurant.

“How was everyone’s morning?” Steve asked politely. This was routine.

“Fine, just woke up with a massive hangover.” Tony said with a funny-looking smirk that made most of the people sitting around him laugh in amusement.

“Same.” Natasha said. “Remind me never to drink at your parties.”

“Eh, it was still fun. Even if I don’t remember most of it.” You commented. Your eyes going off on their own for a moment before connecting with Loki. Except, his eyes were already on you. With no expression on his face and this certain look in his eyes while staring, it made you zip your mouth quickly. Your eyes darting back down towards your food.

Loki raised a brow quizzically before his attention was brought back to Natasha when she asked you, “Did you manage to get the mystery man out of your bed?”

“What?” You flinched, your hand even lost hold of the fork. The noise it created as it rang the glass plate caught more attention than Natasha’s comment.

“You okay, [Name]?” Steve asked with a curious look.

“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” You questioned back. If they didn’t know you, they’d drop it. However, they did know you.

“Is it someone we know?” Tony asked with a sly smirk. The look he gave made something turn uncomfortably in your stomach. “Or, maybe the same guy from last time?”

“No,” You lied. “He was a stranger.”

“That is quite exciting.” Thor chuckled as he tried to learn more about the human customs of ‘one night stands’. Something he, for some reason, doesn’t know.

“It really isn’t, but thanks.” You reassured.

“I would disagree.” Tony commented. “I think they’re rather.. thrilling.”

You rolled your eyes as you began to eat once more. Your eyes desperate for another peak at the man across from you. In the back of your mind, you told yourself no. It wasn’t worth it. Just ignore him. Though, your body denied itself to listen to your brain and gave into the desire. In that moment, everything froze. For some unknown reason, it was like everyone else in the room disappeared. The only ones left where Loki and yourself. That look in his eyes, the way his hand held up his head. Everything told you this was a dangerous game you were playing.

“[Name]?” Thor asked, his voice pulling you out of the void and back to reality. “Are you going to eat that?”

“What?” You mumbled before gazing down at the food that you haven’t eaten yet. You shook your head before pushing the plate towards the God of Thunder.

“You sure? You didn’t eat much.” Steve asked, his eyes growing to big puppy eyes filled with concern.

“Yeah, I’m not that hungry anyway.” You waved off. Your body soon standing up from your chair as you dismissed yourself from the others.

You didn’t bother to wait around for good nights or goodbyes from the others. Your feet aimlessly moved around until you rounded the corner. The quick footsteps that grew closer to you the furthest thing from your mind. So, when you felt your body get pressed into the wall, you couldn’t help but let out a loud gasp. Your mouth quickly getting covered by a rough, large hand.

Your eyes quickly began to analyze everything in front of you. Your mind processing the face and body that belonged to Loki, the hand that pressed against your mouth his. He eyed you down for what felt like a decade, that was until he broke it to gaze down the hall for any incoming Avengers. When he didn’t see anyone, he slowly released his hand from your face but still kept you pinned to the wall.

“What are you doing?” He asked, his question rough and demanding of answers.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Dont play dumb with me.” He hissed out. “You’ve been avoiding me all day, what is wrong with you?”

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Loki huffed, his patience wearing thin. “Then why did you run away this morning? Or when I saw you earlier, and how do you explain not even capable of holding eye contact with me at supper?”

“That was nothing.” You mumbled out, your head turning to the left and down so you didn’t have to look at him. Though, you suppose that was pointless.

His hand was quick to grab onto your chin to make you face him once more. “Don’t look away from me.”

You could feel your body temperature rise, the feeling brutal to the point were you had to bend your leg a bit and tap your fingers just to calm yourself a bit. Everything in your mind ran so quickly that you began to believe you would have a malfunction up there. Though, instead of a malfunction you ended up just blurting out, “Did we sleep together?”

You watched as nothing but pure confusion twisted in Loki’s face. You weren’t positive yet if that was good or bad, but something deep within your stomach told you not to make any false moves. Not to assume anything until you hear his words.

“Would that really be so bad?” He asked, his voice low.

“I don’t mean it like that.” You corrected. “I’m just asking cause I don’t remember anything from last night and when I wake up you were in my shower.”

Loki sighed, his body taking a step back to allow yours to breathe. “No, we didn’t.”

You wanted to desperately to let out a sign of relief. However, you were smart enough to read the look on his face and know this wasn’t the right time for that.

“Then, why were you there?” You asked.

Loki sighed, his eyes making contact with yours before beginning to explain. “I took you back to your room since you were probably more drunk than Stark. I didn’t mean to upset you if I have, I just thought it would be best to keep an eye on you until you fell asleep. I suppose at some point I did as well.”

“So, you took care of me.” You stated as you took an unconscious step closer.

“I suppose so, yes.” He said. “Was that wrong of me to do?”

“No, no.” You ushered out quickly. “That was fine. I’m glad you it was you.”

“You are?” He asked, his eyes staring into yours.

You nodded. Another step closer taken. Both pair of eyes danced with the other as each of you stared at the other. It was this moment of silence that you appreciated the most, cherished the most. It was an intoxicating feeling to sit in silence with Loki, to allow no sound of voice to flow between the both of you. The way your heart beat so intensity, the thoughts that crawled out that always made a shiver go up your spine, well, it was nothing but pure ecstasy.

“Come to my room.” You blurted out, the afterthought not even in question. You meant what you said, and Loki could see that as well by his silence nod and questionless lips.

As the two of your traveled, Loki following behind you in silence, your heart began to pound faster. The wonder of what would come to pass filling in your veins and by the time you came upon your room, you didn’t waste time to lock your door just in case.

“I want you to know something.” You said as you sat down next to Loki on the edge of your bed.

“What is it?” He questioned, his eyes never leaving yours for a second. After all, that would be too long for him.

“I wasn’t in regret or anything, I just wanted to know the truth.” You stated clearly. “If I ever did that with you, I rather remember the time clearly.”

You noticed the adam’s apple in Loki’s throat bob quickly after your words. The way his eyes now going frantic about your body without shame made your hand grip onto your pants. It was a new feeling, but one you enjoyed. Having him look at you felt nothing like anyone else in the past had done, when it was him and only him, you felt like he was looking at the stars.

“Allow me to be frank?” He asked, his question answered with a simple nod.

When Loki leaned in, he stabilized himself by moving one of his hands on top of yours, his fingers snaking in between the spaces in your hand. You felt him grip a bit harder, in a relaxing way before speaking his mind.

“I find myself thinking of you even at the most.. inopportune moments of the day. I feel as if a link exists between your heart and mine and should that link be broken either by distance or by time, my heart would cease to be and I would die.” Loki freely spoke. His voice soft, and low as he spoke so that only you would hear this side of him even if no other soul was nearby to hear. “And you.. you’d soon forget about me.”

You leaned your head, a plethora of emotions washing over you at once. Though, you needed to address this one thing as if life and death hanged in the balance. Your body scooted closer to the God, your hand that connected with his now placed on your lap before saying, “Loki. I’d never forget about you.”

The God let out a dry chuckle. “I acknowledge that. I just suppose that’s my fear speaking.”

“If we’re being so open, I’d like to say something as well.” You said, his eyes looking at you with such patience that you’ve never found before. “You make me feel.. you make me feel vulnerable. Every time your eyes meet mine I can feel you looking at my very soul, and I don’t like it. Do you know?”

“Do I know.. what?”

You smiled softly, your hand squeezing Loki’s as you ask, “Do you know what it’s like around you? It’s like.. It’s like I can’t breathe when you’re around and everything stops. When everything stops, I can only focus on you.”

You’ve never really seen Loki smile, but he had granted you the privilege of seeing a few times. However, you instantly knew this kind of smile, the soft and sweet kind he directed towards you was your favorite yet. Sure, the causally smirk or smile was nice, but this one was for you and you alone.

And you loved it.

#loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fluff #loki x reader #loki odison x reader #loki layfeyson x reader #loki layfeyson x male reader #loki x male reader #loki odinson x male reader #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel x male reader #male reader #x male reader

[not-using-this1]

Don’t shut me out ~ N.Romanoff

Time for another angst/fluff oneshot I think so here you go :)

In which Natasha knows she has feelings for a certain woman on the team, but she knows that she can't and tries to ignore it, avoiding y/n like the plague. Y/N has had enough of being avoided by her and confronts her about it...things get complicated.

Prompts: "Yeah, well, I shut everybody out. Don't take it personally. It's just easier".

Warnings: none

Word count: roughly 1990

She had been trying to avoid her for the passed two weeks, going on missions for Fury, so she didn't have to be around the Avengers tower. But when she was, it was straight to her room that she had or even the training room if that woman was not there.

Y/n L/n, one of the most badass women who could control fire and bend it at her will, a woman she had known for only a few months since y/n was new to the team. In those few months, she had actually formed a friendship with the woman. And that went from one thing to another...The Black Widow started forming 'feelings' for her. It wasn't her fault, she's only human, but Y/n' beautiful h/c and absolutely gorgeous e/c orbs were always in her mind, especially that smile.

Natasha wasn't scared of these feelings per say, she just knew that it was wrong considering that this woman, this adorable, badass woman was a teammate of hers. Sure, she had a relationship with Clint (Hawkeye) but that was before they even joined the Avengers, all they are know is just partners and good friends.

So what made her think this could work out? Nothing, because it can't - that's just a known fact.

Continuosly avoiding her seemed like the better option, shutting out everybody on the team when she was around. Clint had tried to ask her a few times what was going on but like usual she was easily able to make sure he couldn't read her very well.

Walking down the hall to the kitchen of the Avengers tower, she spotted Y/n, Clint, Thor and Bruce. So as quick as she could she went to grab a drink and walked away, disappearing back down the hall to her room. Locking herself into the room. Who needs to be social anyway?

Y/n tried to say a simple 'hi' to her and she knew it. When she walked straight passed her and ignored her, she saw the hurt in her expression no matter how hard she tried to see it Natasha saw through her facade. But it wasn't just saddness, a hint of anger shown through.

Just when the redhead agent thought she could spend some time alone as per usual, somebody knocks on her door. But she doesn't answer it, she pretends as if she isn't there. They will go away eventually - probably, right?

Nope.

"Natasha, what's going on with you? You've been avoiding everyone for a while. I just wanted to know if you were okay." Y/n' soft voice was heard on the other side.

She heard the clear hurt in her voice which made the redhead feel guilt in her heart for what she had been doing, but that was for Y'n' own good. Nat waited for a good few seconds, not replying just to see if y/n had anything else to say.

Of course she did.

"Please Nat, we're all worried. I'm worried." And that just makes it all better does it? The redhead was feeling even more guilty now. She walked up to her door and put a hand on it, her forehead pressed up against it.

A heavy sigh left her lips, what was she supposed to tell her? That the reason she is the way she is because she likes her? No, that's not her. It's so out of her character to admit these things. Natasha never even had 'feelings' like this before, regardless of her past relationships.

Before she could even let her words come out, y/n spoke up once more "Don't shut me out", Oh god Natasha could hear how much she had hurt her, it's all coming out now. Y/n was usually good at keeping her emotions in check but right now in this moment, she couldn't.

"Yeah, well, I shut everybody out. Don't take it personally. It's just easier." Natasha replied, no hint of any real emotion, she just out right and blankly spoke the truth. The redhead was always blunt no matter what, her brutal honesty was an incredible trait and bad trait at times but it did the trick for her. She heard a sudden slam of a hand on the door. "Then stop, Nat! I get it, I've shut people out too, but trust me it isn't easier than telling somebody you trust what's wrong. It will eat you up inside, especially if it's about someone you see almost everyday. Let me in." y/n shouted but rather softly.

"Please, trust me." Y/n added softly. That's all she wanted from the redhead, to be trusted, to be let in. She already knew of her past that barrier was down but a new one was made up when Natasha started shutting out once more. Nat sighed heavily again, turning the lock on her door so the door could be opened. But the question is, will she open the door? And let the woman she is so madly in love with in?

Or does she want to continue shutting everybody out and risk losing her?

"Natasha, please." Y/n whispered just enough for Natasha to be able to hear through the closed door. The h/c avenger sighed, she was trying to be as paitient with the redhead as much as she could, honestly she would wait for her forever to open up if she had to but maybe right now wasn't a good time for it, maybe Natasha needed longer. "Take your time, just...please don't ignore me anymore, don't ignore any of us." Just as y/n was about to leave, Natasha door opened and she was pulled inside.

Both women looked at one another, never taking their eyes off each other. Their eyes perfectly trained on one another, before Nat sighed and looked away sitting on the end of her bed. Y/n joined her, and the two of them sat in silence.

One of them eventually had to break it but neither seemed like they wanted to, but y/n stepped in when she saw that Natasha could no longer hold her expressionless facade up when she was around her. "Nat, tell me what's wrong." It wasn't even a question now, more of a demand but in the nicest way possible with such a soft voice behind it. Frankly, the woman was clearly getting annoyed with her.

Again with the sighing, Nat tried to look directly at y/n and hold her gaze but all she could do was take small glances every now and then, taking out her beautiful red hair from the messy bun, trying to distract herself, this wasn't even going to work but it was worth a try, anyway.

Another moment of pure silence crept over the two women, Natasha was mentally preparing herself. All thoughts running around in her mind at once, something telling her to just tell her because she just couldn't 'lose' this woman, especially not right now...quite possibly not ever.

"I've been having these feelings, feelings I have honestly felt so strongly about even in my past relationships with men. I don't know how to comprehend them" Natasha started to explain, she probably worded it wrong but who cares? The wall she put up in her emotions was starting to crack and crumble on the ground once again ever since y/n became apart of the team...apart of her life. Remembering that entire month she pretended to 'hate' her when she was just being cautious, to getting to know her, sparring and kicking each others asses, to then even going out places together, and even missions. Those few times Natasha took y/n to her favourite coffee shop in New York.

God, why was this so hard?

"Okay, so first tell me what you're feeling." Y/n broke the silence, she wasn't so sure how to deal with either, none of them were very good with feelings and that much was obvious. "Seriously? Do I have to say it?" Natasha rolled her eyes, she really didn't want to say that four letter word that she never got used to. But y/n nodded, she had to say it either way. "Ugh fine".

"Любовь" She didn't want to say it in english, so she used her first language, russian. Hoping that y/n didn't understand a word she had just said, but the twist was she knew exactly what she meant.

"Love, right. You do realise I took russian, chinese, latin and spanish in high school right and continued them in college before being recruited to SHIELD?" y/n laughed. Natasha cured at herself quietly, thinking she got away with that. The redhead agent should've known that she was smarter then that. "So whose the man you like?" Wow what a way to assume things. Now, Natasha could just go with the fact that y/n had just called her love interest a 'man' and lie completely...but that wasn't the truth, besides she really does like her.

Natasha lightly chuckled at the h/c avengers last statement making her raise an eyebrow in question, not knowing why the redhead found that even remotely funny.

"Bold of you to assume it's a man." She laughed before going back to being all serious. "This was a mistake." Her mood changed so quickly that y/n didn't even have time to comprehend what the hell was happening. Natasha had grabbed her and walked her over to the closed door to basically kick her out...but before she could y/n got in front of the door.

"No, you have to trust me. Do you?" She asked.

Of course Natasha does, but she just doesn't know how to open up about this at all. The woman she loves is standing in front of her and this isn't easy, it never is. The agent simply nods her head staying quiet. "Just tell me about them, the way you know best." Tell her about them? How the fuck is she supposed to do that? It would be so much easier if she just showed her but what if she didn't like her back?

Oh fuck it.

Natasha wasted no more time, grabbing the back of y/n' neck with her hand and pulling her in for a kiss, not sure if this was the right move. Y/n was taken aback by the action but before she could even kiss Natasha back, the redhead pulled away regretting her decsion. "I am so sorry that was-"

"Shut up" Y/n spoke pulling Nat back into a kiss. They kised each other with such passion that Natasha backed y/n up against the door, trapping her between her and the door. Pulling away Nat smirked "don't tell me to shut up." She added.

Y/n laughed "when were you going to tell me?" She added, knowing full well what she meant Natasha kissed her for a good few seconds again.

"I wasn't but now I'm glad I did it through actions." Natasha replied with a small smile forming in her lips.

"Promise not to shut me out again, okay? Because I'm here for you, we all are."

Natasha knew that, but she couldn't make that promise, not now. Maybe if she was a different person she could but right now that wasn't going to happen. "Kiss me again?" Natasha replied.

Y/n couldn't say no to her, so she pulled her back in this time taking some control of the kiss until Natasha got comfortable and took over completely.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natalia alianovna romanova #marvel #my oneshot #avengers #natasha romanov #angst #fluff

[9worldstales]

MCU Loki: Why I fear they failed to deliver what they promised

At this point I’m kind of confused by who the “Loki” series is trying to reach or which is the goal/message they’re trying to pass along.

They had tried to intrigue assorted audience but, if you ask me, the series has often failed to deliver what it seemed to promise.

Of course I might be wrong. Or maybe I'm not seeing another type of audience the series aimed and managed to reach.

When the series started I wanted to keep a positive mentality and hope whatever seemed not to work would be fixed along the way or have a reason for existing that I just wasn't seeing because I hadn't seen the full story yet.

However, after 5 episodes I'm starting to lose hope the series will make a genuine effort to reach the fans at whom it seemed to aim.

PART 1 – “LOKI” IS NOT FOR THE OLD FANS WHO PRODUCED META SHOWING HOW HIS TRAUMA DAMAGED HIM

"I think it's the struggle with identity, who you are, who you want to be. I'm really drawn to characters who are fighting for control. Certainly you see that with Loki over the first 10 years of movies, he's out of control at pivotal parts of his life, he was adopted and everything and that manifest itself through anger and spite towards his family." [Loki's Struggle With His Identity Confirmed To Be A Focus Of His Disney+ Series]

What was it about Loki as a character that attracted you? He’s just fun, for one. He has a very playful sense of humor about him. I like how he never quite lets you know what he’s thinking. Beyond that, what I connect to about him is the same thing the legions of fans do, which is his humanity and his vulnerability. This is a guy who—yes, on the one hand, he was the prince of Asgard, seems like a nice life—but his father, in fact, killed his actual birth father, adopted him, lied to him about his heritage and parentage his entire life, he was forced to live in the shadow of his oafish older brother who was born to be king. He’s experienced a lot of trauma, and I think that what he’s looking for is just a little bit of control over his life. Which he feels like maybe he’s never quite had. That’s something I think we can all relate with. [From Loki to Doctor Strange and Star Wars, Michael Waldron Is the New Franchise Whisperer]

Let’s be honest, the audience for the “Loki” series is not really meant to be Marvel movies old time fans who enjoyed “Thor” and “The Avengers”, made countless Meta analyzing Loki’s behaviour and who wanted answers about what happened to Loki prior to “The Avengers” or wanted to see Loki’s family terrible dynamics be discussed, or at least to see explored the wrong dynamics of Loki’s interracial adoption (he’s taken away from his planet, the truth is hidden from him, his look is changed to disguise him as an Asgardian, nothing is done against the racial hate for the Jotuns at which Loki is exposed, even witnessing it from his brother) or talk how much in control of himself Loki was during “The Avengers” (okay, the web said the sceptre manipulated Loki, but what about acknowledging that in his own series? It doesn’t have to come from Loki who had no idea he was manipulated but someone could mention ‘think yourself lucky here the stones don’t work, they’ve the nasty tendency to manipulate people’).

The series has avoided digging into all that as much as they could.

Even when Loki talks with Sylvie, the most we get is a small big about how Frigga was awesome in his eyes and taught him magic, but this isn’t meant to explain any of the issues Loki had with his family, it just make Sylvie feel bad because she can’t remember her adoptive mother, as for the D.B. Cooper born out of a bet with Thor, yeah, fun but completely random. What’s meant to be the message about family dynamics here, that it was the bets between Thor and Loki that caused Loki to decide to conquer Earth? Or what about the Sif loop? Is it there to push on Loki the blame of his poor relation with Sif?

No, clearly not.

In regard to Loki the Frigga flashback is there to remark he had a loving and supportive family while the other two are there to have Loki admit he is ‘a mischievous scamp’, ‘a horrible person’ and ‘a narcissist’.

To put it in Classic Loki’s words: ‘Damn it! Animals, animals! We lie and we cheat, we cut the throat of every person who trusts us, and for what? Power. Glorious power. Glorious purpose! We cannot change. We're broken, every version of us. Forever. And whenever one of us dares try to fix themselves, they're sent here to die.’

In short it’s all Loki’s fault if he does bad, nothing happened to him that could have messed him up, he’s just a horrible person… however…

PART 2 – “LOKI” IS NOT FOR THE OLD AND NEW FANS WHO BELIEVED LOKI TO BE A DANGEROUS, EVIL, PSYCHOPATH VILLAIN EITHER

"Loki is an a**, and that makes my life as a writer, easy." ... "Due to the trauma in Loki’s life, I would even [accept a story] in which he is committed to being all bad." [Michael Waldron on Loki: He’s an a**. That makes things easy]

Considering the series is trying to pin SOLELY on Loki his wrongdoing, completely skipping the toxic way in which he was raised you might think they want to paint him as an evil, psychopath who was just born bad.

But no, that’s not the intention, we see it from the start.

Loki is given a quick briefing on how his beloved family loved him despite him hurting them, a briefing that contains false information which would work if we accept the briefing as manipulative but, at this point I’m not so sure that was the author’s intent. The Doylist purpose of the briefing is clearly to show the audience how Loki cares for his family, how he still has feelings, feels pain at the idea Frigga and Odin died and wish to make up with his brother.

It’s not just they loved him and did nothing wrong toward him, it’s also he who loved them and didn’t mean to harm them. That’s why we’re fed that damn discourse about Loki sending the Dark Elves to kill Frigga, because the series wants to remark that no, Loki didn’t want to kill his family, he loved them.

Tom Hiddleston used to say what Loki is came from a place of pain but the series didn’t explore that place of pain… it just gave him more pain and not just in episode 1. Episode 2 has him discovering Asgard is destroyed, episode 3 has him remembering Frigga, episode 4 shows him believing Sylvie die and watching Mobius being pruned. He doesn’t cry in Ep 5, episode 5 wants us to truly feel bad for Sylvie, not for him, but there’s a lot of bitterness from Classic Loki who commits a heroic suicide so you might say we get a sad Loki anyway.

And this also works as a shock to make him change his mind about his ‘glorious purposes’. Sorta, with Thor reminding us he’s not so bad and Loki explaining his behaviour as “I don't enjoy hurting people. I... I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to. Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.”

Plot-wise, this is completely useless.

The show will prove Sylvie is not Loki and has completely different motivations and Mobius, being an expert in Variants, should know.

What’s more why would Mobius care if Loki enjoys hurting people or not?

His goal is to capture Sylvie with Loki’s help. The most he should care about is how to keep Loki loyal to him, not if Loki has fun hurting people or not which, in fact, is a knowledge that won’t be used in his investigation.

No, this is here for the viewers, to tell them Loki isn’t a sadistic, evil villain, he’s someone weak who tries to scare others so as not to look weak. As Mobius will put in ‘a scared little boy, shivering in the cold’ who has an ‘insecure need for validation’.

What’s more?

The show will try his hardest to establish he’s not even competent.

Let’s talk of him as a fighter.

In the movies Loki is a competent fighter and side material establish he’s pretty strong, definitely much more than a human.

In “The Avengers” we see Captain America needs Iron Man’s help to beat him and, anyway, Loki’s plan was to be captured. Loki manages to walk away on his feet when Coulson hits him with that superspecial weapon and it’ll take him to be Hulk smashed after a fight with Thor and a meeting with an explosive arrow of Hawkeye before he can’t fight any longer.

This doesn’t happen in the “Loki” series.

Loki gets beaten up by various people in 4 episodes, preferably women (B-15, the people possessed by Sylvie, the guards on the train, Sif). You might say in episode 5 he’s not but actually Classic Loki is the one who gets swallowed by Alioth and our Loki instead survives because he has Sylvie supporting him as, on his own he couldn’t even distract Alioth.

Let’s talk of him as a wizard.

He can use magic, impressive magic but… it serves him mostly nothing. In the TVA his magic doesn’t work. Outside of it is mostly useless. It doesn’t help win fights. The Tempad he caused to disappear gets broken. To beat Alioth they needs enchantment, not his own magic. What’s more, when they’ve to go on the train his disguise wouldn’t have worked without Sylvie’s enchantment and, if this wasn’t enough, he got drunk, removed the disguise and wasn’t even able to make tickets appear.

Classic Loki too, with his impressive illusions is ultimately a distraction. Alioth tears easily through his illusions which aren’t even solid.

Let’s talk of him as a planner.

All Loki will accomplish is to escape from the Time theatre for a brief period in episode 1 and figure out Sylvie hides in apocalypses in episode 2. The rest of his plans fails or are not plan or are mocked over and not even put into practice.

Let’s talk about him as a manipulator with a silver tongue.

He can’t even persuade Mobius when he’s telling him the truth, Mobius dismisses it as a lie due to ‘cockroach's survival mechanism’.

And psychologically?

He’s just someone who crave attention because he’s a narcissist scared of being alone. Not a psychopath.

Loki is not meant to be a dangerous, evil, psychopath villain in this series, he’s a not serious man, a clown, a scared little boy in need of attention, a narcissist who needs to be loved.

Welcome to cartoon villain Loki, this Loki isn’t the Variant of “The Avengers” Loki, he’s the Variant of “Avengers Assemble”Loki… only he’s even less competent than him.

PART 3 – “LOKI” IS NOT EVEN HERE FOR GENERAL MARVEL MOVIE FANS

"That's a lot of Infinity Stones. That's true but they are useless there in the TVA, so I don't know. Is that gun loaded or not? We'll see..." [Loki Writer Comments On Whether TVA’s Infinity Stones Will Return In MCU]

“We had to create an insane institutional knowledge of how time travel would work within the TVA so the audience never has to think about it again. It was a lot of drawings of squiggly timelines.” Marvel already made its case for how time travel works in Avengers: Endgame, but that, Waldron points out, “is the way the Avengers understand it.” With a TV show it’s a little different. “I was always very acutely aware of the fact that there’s a week between each of our episodes and these fans are going to do exactly what I would do, which is pick this apart. We wanted to create a time-travel logic that was so airtight it could sustain over six hours. There’s some time-travel sci-fi concepts here that I’m eager for my Rick and Morty colleagues to see.” [How the Man Behind LokiIs Shaping Marvel’s Phase 4 and Beyond]

BC: The TVA is there to clean everybody up? MW: Yeah, Avengers: Endgame… that's how The Avengers understand time travel. 'Loki,' episode one, is how the TVA explains time travel to Loki and we're certainly building on what's come before us. [Loki: Michael Waldron On Gender Fluidity, Mephisto, Time Travel & More]

It’s true “Loki” is focusing on a new corner of the MCU but it interconnects very poorly with the movies before it.

Although Loki escaped with the Tesseract... it just dismisses completely the Infinity Stones.

Despite talking a lot about timelines and creating branching realities it waved away the whole plot of "Avengers: Endgame" as apparently supposed to happen even though it should have created branching realities.

We see Renslayer wave away how the Avengers went in the past causing the Tesseract to end up in Loki’s hands... and all the other things the Avengers did that affected the past goes unmentioned.

Bruce meeting the Ancient, Thor meeting his mother and taking away Thor’s hammer, Rocket being seen as he steals the reality stone from Jane, Tony stealing a suitcase and damaging the place in which the Tesseract was kept then meeting Howard Stark, 4 flacons of Pyn particles missing, an alarm given to the military bases, how Steve managed to bring back the sceptre if that timeline was pruned, how a timeline handled being without Thanos and Co as they went in the future or how they clearly didn’t bring the orb back the second they took it as Nebula remained unconscious there and nobody came and when she woke up Thanos could get her. It didn’t even explain why Steve remaining with Peggy didn’t change anything.

It's not that the audience has all explained... it's that they were told to dismiss it as 'meant to happen' and that was it.

What's more, the TVA apparently didn't list a finger to stop 2014 Thanos from going in the future and causing Tony Stark's death.

As if this wasn't enough, “Loki” just skips any possible connection with the movies, even hands Loki false information about them (he lead the Dark Elves to his mother when Loki had no idea the Kurse was a Dark Elf and they would have found her anyway as they were searching for the Aether which Malekith could sense, he’s born solely to cause pain and suffering and death, overlooks how he saved Jane twice or helped the Asgardian escape Hela) and never discusses them again.

Even with Classic Loki, who’s a Variant of “Avengers: Infinity War” Loki, they don’t talk about what happened after Loki’s supposed dead, apparently hinting it was better if he died, nor explain how Loki knew Thor survived.

PART 4 – “LOKI” IS NOT REALLY OFFERING A GOOD REPRESENTATION FOR FEMALES EVEN THOUGH IT CLEARLY AIMS AT FEMALE AUDIENCE

Let’s make a quick experiment.

Everyone, let’s name all the characters we remember which appeared in more than 1 episode of “Loki” for more than one minute.

We’ve, of course, Loki, Mobius, B-15, Renslayer, Sylvie, C-20 and Miss Minute.

5 females versus 2 males.

What’s more, females are not sexualized, they remains completely dressed, they’re clearly not there to attract male gazes, they’re represented as strong, dangerous, in control, something archived often by showing them beating males either physically or intellectually or in rank.

It seems promising. At first.

Is there someone who’s sexualized?

The “Loki” series takes care to offer us Tom Hiddleston naked.

So since there’s an abundance of females in the cast and Tom Hiddleston is shown naked is it aiming at a female audience?

Very, very likely but… but how’s then handled all this?

When Loki is seen undressed he’s not in a situation of power, like Thor who’s twice shows half naked in his movies but because he’s changing/washing and perfectly comfortable in showing his body and once in a situation which could be a male forbidden fantasy, to have many women massage your naked body, no, he’s shown as he’s powerless while being stripped by a machine. Clearly not a male power fantasy, more like a male nightmare.

And, in a totally not surprising way, pictures of this scene were spread by many female fans because it was aimed at them… though a part of them, was also honestly appalled at seeing this scene in contest, finding the forced stripping humiliating and degrading.

Sure, a naked Tom Hiddleston makes a nice eye-candy but this wasn’t how Loki’s many fans wanted to see Loki naked.

But let’s talk of female representation here, since the show seems to be interested in female audience… only who even though this was the representation women wanted doesn’t understand much of women representation in the first place.

Why?

For start because women here are all the same type of woman.

Strong fighters who’re in control and confident, with no real characterization beyond this to speak of despite the large amount of screen time.

Renslayer is an ex-hunter who can fight one on one against Sylvie and who clearly has the position of power she has because she was good as a hunter and shows her abilities in fighting after that Sylvie had beaten 2 guards at the same time. B-15 is introduced by beating Loki and is the commander of a squad. C-20 is another commander and, albeit possessed, can dispose of a part of her squad members.

Do I need to spend words on how Sylvie is depicted as this awesome fighter who has learnt to fight by herself, can keep at bay more than 1 Minuteman, can use a sword, has learnt enchantment on her own and is feared by all the TVA? Do I?

And it’s awesome to have women who are strong fighters in positions of command/power/control… but why women has to be represented as just that?

Even when they add a female as an one episode cameo, it's Sif, beating the hell out of Loki. And what about the Lady in Lamentis 1 who was too old to be strong but managed to blast away both Loki and Sylvie seeing through their deceptions?

Even the harmless Miss Minute can avoid being hit by Loki and gets she has to pretend to do researches to stall Sylvie and save Renslayer.

Women kick asses here… but that’s all they’re good for.

And so we get to Sylvie, who is the superior Loki Variant… because she’s female.

Kid Loki: You're different. Why? Loki: No, I'm not, you see? I'm the same, really. I'm the same as all of you. Have any of you met a woman Variant of us? Classic Loki: Sounds terrifying. Loki: Oh, she is. But that's kind of what's great about her. She's different. She's not trying to take over the TVA, she's trying to take it down. And she needs me. Now, you said Alioth is what keeps us here. You said it's a living thing. You said it's a shark. Well, if it lives, it dies. So I'm gonna kill the shark. I'm gonna kill Alioth, and I could use all the help I can get.

That’s what Loki preaches to his fellow Lokis who think a woman Loki would be terrific.

I mean, they’ve an alligator Loki, a POC Loki, but the one who has to be different is the female Loki. Because being female is a character trait.

Mobius: Okay. I feel like I'm always looking up to you. I like it. It's appropriate. [Ep 1]

Basically females in the “Loki” series are all representation of the Action girl trope and aren’t even different representation of said trope. I mean, “The Avengers” have 5 actions boy who’re clearly as different as they could be. Girls can be represented as different too, if they really aim at young audience they can take good old “Sailor Moon” as an example. 5 action girls who are strong and determinate AND DIFFERENT, more than just someone who kicks the adversary away.

And it’s not like they don’t know how to characterize people in a different way.

Mobius is an analyst who shows sympathetic traits toward the Variants and a certain level or intelligence. U-92 and D-90 are hunters who are shown to held Variants in little regard (U-92 wanted to attack the boy they found in the church, D-90 mistreated the scared people in the shelter). Casey is an harmless and naïve guy who had never seen a fish. The guy who made Loki sign the papers about what he said seemed emotionless but he clearly loved cats as not only he had one but on his cup there was also the image of a cat. Martin is clearly a bossy daddy’s son, who think too high of himself to the point he can’t respect rules. The boy in the church, despite thinking Sylvie was a demon, accepted and ate food she gave him and remained in the place despite the crime. He’s clearly more brave than he looked like but he’s also naïve as he easily trusted ‘the demon’ and Mobius.

What’s C-20 character trait when she gets described by Sylvie?

Sylvie: Yeah. She was just a regular person on Earth. Loki: A regular person? Sylvie: Loved margaritas.

She’s a regular person who loves margaritas. Liking a drink is not a character trait!

There’s a more diverse female representation in “Thor” than in “Loki”.

In “Thor” we’ve Frigga, queen of Asgard, loving mother and wife who’s powerless to erase Thor’s banishment. We’ve Sif, a dangerous and loyal warrior. We’ve Jane, the amazing scientist with a lot of enthusiasm. We’ve Darcy, who’s funny and who seems focused mostly on herself but who, when the city is attacked, worried to save all the animals at the pet store.

But maybe the one who gets the worst treatment is the supposed heroine, Sylvie, because the poor girl is turned into a Mary Sue.

In case someone isn’t familiar with the term:

“The prototypical Mary Sue is an original female character in a fanfic who obviously serves as an idealized version of the author mainly for the purpose of Wish Fulfillment. She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye colour, and has a similarly cool and exotic name. She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting. She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing. She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story. The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting; if any character doesn't love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal. She has some sort of especially close relationship to the author's favourite canon character — their love interest, illegitimate child, never-before-mentioned sister, etc. Other than that, the canon characters are quickly reduced to awestruck cheerleaders, watching from the sidelines as Mary Sue outstrips them in their areas of expertise and solves problems that have stymied them for the entire series.” [tvtropes.org]

So let’s see how she fits this checklist:

1) She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye colour: Sylvie painted her hair blonde even though the Lokis are supposed to be black haired

2) has a similarly cool and exotic name: She is the only Loki Variant who has changed her name from Loki to Sylvie.

3) She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting: Awesome at fighting she can enchant people, an ability the Lokis don’t posses, that she magically learnt on her own and that is necessary in the story. Also she figured out how a Tempad worked BEFOREseeing it in action.

4) She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing: No flaws, all her plans involve fighting and brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile, which could be a flaw… if it wasn’t for the fact that the series will prove Sylvie can plan just fine without using fighting and brute strength and also be successful at it.

5) She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story: She was taken by the TVA when she was younger than Kid Loki but managed to escape them and had to live alone and on the run till then.

6) The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting: Loki, who has never loved anyone, falls for her, Mobius saves her and apologizes to her, B-15, who used to look down at Variants, basically asks her what should they do and is shown admiring her, the Lokis don’t criticize her plan, Classic Loki dies to save her, everyone views her as the superior Loki Variant.

7) if any character doesn't love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal: Renslayer, the hunter who has arrested her, is currently playing the part of the antagonist who’s fascist and believes in a murderous, lying cult.

8) She has some sort of especially close relationship to the author's favourite canon character — their love interest, illegitimate child, never-before-mentioned sister, etc.: She’s the Variant and love interest of the titular character.

9) Other than that, the canon characters are quickly reduced to awestruck cheerleaders, watching from the sidelines as Mary Sue outstrips them in their areas of expertise and solves problems that have stymied them for the entire series: Loki, the title character, has conveniently been turned into someone who’s a weak fighter and incapable of planning which Sylvie has to save by enchanting guards or giving him her sword or pruning herself or teaching him how to enchant and coming up with all the plans.

Now all she needs in order to be a perfect Mary Sue is to know how to sing well as Mary Sue usually do this as well, though I’m sure she can do it because Loki could so she surely can.

Sylvie is amazing, Loki himself said so:

Loki: No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don't die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You're amazing!

There’s nothing inherently wrong in having a new female character who’s competent, for whom the hero falls and who changes him… if all this is built around a solid plot.

Think at “Iron Man”.

Tony Stark is, to quote Tony Stark himself a “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist”.

It’s amazing, isn’t it? But the movie shows us why he’s that.

It spends time setting up his pedigree, how he inherited the money and intelligence from his father, how he was supported as he grew and studied becoming always a greater genius. Tony shows himself to be charming before seducing his first woman onscreen so that when he does it makes sense. His philanthropic activities are, at first, just mentioned but seems rooted in how his father was a hero who helped fighting Nazi and then they became his mission. He felt guilty he was a merchant of death and tried to make up for it.

Sylvie too could have a solid plot behind herself.

Instead than magically knowing what a TemPad does and how it works and managing to escape with it, she could have escaped with, let’s say, a hunter that discovered the truth and decided to rebel to the TVA or just had pity of her. Maybe another Mobius Variant who used to work at the TVA prior to Mobius and that, instead than an analyst was a hunter. She might have learnt fighting from him and then he too died and she was left alone.

Enchantment might have been an ability she might have learnt coming in contact with a mind stone. It could have been an occasion also to talk how mind stones can influence people negatively. Or it could have been taught to her by Frigga who, with a female daughter, decided to teach her a different type of magic than Loki.

Her past could have been explored more instead than being tragic for the sake of tragic. We might have seen her fall in love and either be betrayed or have to say goodbye to her loved one because that reality got pruned. We might have seen her being interested in males and females alike as she’s supposed to be interested in both.

She could have had discussions with Loki that weren’t just about Frigga or about how the TVA kidnapped her from Asgard, she escaped and from that point on she was always on the run, or about how love didn’t feel real, but more about how they were, how they felt, what hurt them and what made them happy, what they liked and what they disliked, their ideals and their fears, things that can built up a relation.

Loki basically fall for her because she’s on a mission for revenge instead than power and seems confident. That’s his reasoning.

She falls for Loki… because apparently he’s the person who spend time with her who praised her. That’s not a solid love story, that’s desperation.

SYlvie could have flaws, she could have learnt diplomacy or persuasion from Loki or could have something she lacks and Loki has so that they would complete each other.

And since the purpose was to have Sylvie and Loki fall for each other… they could have let Loki have characteristics that can motivate the exceptional heroine to fall in love for him PRIOR to him falling in love for her. He might be shown good at something, instead than just a clown.

Even if we say the real purpose of this series was to turn Sylvie into the protagonist, the heroine, a good Loki character was still needed to explain why this awesome girl would fall for him.

So okay, there will surely still be women who can see themselves in Sylvie and imagine they got Loki… and it’s not bad really… but I think we deserved more.

Long story short, yes, “Loki” has many females in its cast and this is meant to draw the female audience… but the representation is poor as almost all of the females have no character traits and Sylvie is just a Mary Sue with no realistic characterization.

A good female representation is diverse and solid. Women don't need to be born irrealistically perfect out of nothing to be good, they can inherith and grow and learn to be as such like any human being.

Last but not least…

PART 5 – DOES “LOKI” REALLY OFFERS REPRESENTATION TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY?

BC: There is a lot of talk on social media about Loki being gender fluid. Wouldn't that actually be a natural fit for the character? MW: Yeah, I guess as, with all questions pertaining to that stuff, I think those answers, truly, are best experienced in the watching of the show, as opposed to me trying to answer them. Because it's just watching it and the way that's addressed and everything will just be more fulfilling. BC: Why do you think it's important that Loki is gender fluid? MW: I think that Loki is a character that a lot of fans see representation in. People that haven't felt represented before, and they see themselves in Loki and everything. So we want to do justice to the character, to who the character is in the comics and in Norse mythology as well. And you also … you know you want folks to feel represented, and everything. That's why it's important. It always has been. It comes from everybody on the creative team. [Loki: Michael Waldron On Gender Fluidity, Mephisto, Time Travel & More]

The series hugely spread the info that this Loki would be fluid and Bisexual. The news were welcomed with delight and it’s awesome how the series didn’t hesitate to put it on paper.

Loki being fluid was written for everyone to see, and Loki having male and female interests was spelled out for everyone to hear.

IT’S A GREAT THING!

However…

It’s all we got.

It had no relevance into the plot whatsoever, it’s just a random info we’re given.

Him being fluid was on a paper along with his other data like eye colour and birth planet.

Him being interested in males and females seems to be put there just to imply he tried a large amount of people before deciding love didn’t feel real.

Assuming the other Lokis too were fluid, they actually found terrific the idea of a woman Loki in a not positive way. They weren’t interested or asking for clarifications about what Loki meant.

Loki’s bisexuality doesn’t even get a side story, them sending Fandral to beat Loki instead than Sif because Loki cheated on him or something. I’m not upset Loki ended up with a female, this is one of the possibilities of a Bisexual person. I’m upset that this was used merely to attract the audience but then wasn’t explored. They could have said Asgard was open minded with it, or disapproved it so Loki had to keep it hidden, or it could have been Sylvie who discussed some experience in that regard.

We were told over and over it was a show about identity. We expected it to be explored instead we were just told ‘ah, by the way, Loki is bisexual, let’s move on.’ And that was all.

Having representation from an important Marvel character is always important, especially considering the shortage of representation. But honestly I expected more.

PART 7 – TO SUM IT UP

Many of the people who worked in “Loki” are fantastic actors. They worked hard for this series, I can see they tried their best.

The premises for the “Loki” series are interesting.

We get a Loki who hadn’t experienced most of what happened in the movies yet, we make him confront with someone who knows his life, the one he lived and the one he was meant to live and we also make him confront with Variations of himself.

Loki has the Tesseract and the TVA has plenty of infinity stones, we could explore them.

The TVA itself have a fascist organization that dictates people’s lives and murders whoever tries to do differently, that goes so far as to brainwash the people working in it, which mistreats and belittle the Variants and establish a manipulative cult around the Time-Keeper with elements of police brutality which could be very actual.

Time travelling was the plot of "Avengers: Endgame" they could have tied the movie to the series, esplore the why some time travels were allowed and some weren't or their effects.

There were references to plenty of awesome comics they could take inspiration from.

But unless it redeems itself with the last episode… well, so far it’s failing to deliver what it promised due to a really poor plot which doesn’t give the characters a chance to be themselves or to be characterized as they’ve no real story nor real differences to speak of.

They’re given more time than a movie as they’re a series… but that’s no good excuse for wasting said time.

I’m still hoping the last episode will be spectacular, that it’ll manage to erase the messes of the other 5… but, as of now I’m disappointed.

I’ll just keep my fingers crossed and hope they’ll surprise me.

#mcu loki #loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #9 worlds study

[wrenhyperfixates]

Not a Trick

Pairing: Loki x con artist!reader Summary: Loki wins Thor’s money back after you swindle him in a street con. Warnings: none I believe A/N: Requested by @lemonbars-and-fingerguns. Hope you enjoy!

Permanent Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant @lunarmoon8 @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @lowkeyorlokificrecs @gaitwae @whatafuckingdumbass @castiels-majestic-wings @kozkaboi @cozy-the-overlord​ @birdgirl90 @myraiswack @mythicalgarlicknot @what-a-flammable-heart​ @marvelouslovely @laurenandloki @fallinallinmendes @sophlubbwriting​ @mooncat163​ 

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

“Loki!” Thor called in a whiny tone, drawing out the vowels.

“Yes, brother,” Loki sighed.

There was a reason he disliked going out with the God of Thunder. Ever since they’d both moved to Midgard, Loki’s older brother had decided to start acting like just that—a brother. He’d insisted they do practically everything together, making up for the last century or so when they’d both been forced into competition for the throne. Now he realized Loki was always supportive of him, and he wanted to be there for Loki.

On the one hand, Loki was overjoyed. On the other, he was beyond pissed. Thor was just a bit... overly friendly, to put it nicely. Or, as nicely as Loki could manage through his annoyance. Clingy as he was, Thor had good intentions, and Loki saw that, appreciated it, so he didn’t say anything. He sorely missed his alone time, though, which he now barely had.

“I’ve been robbed!”

Loki sighed once more, shaking his head. He was certain there was more to the story than that. No way the lumbering thunder god merely had his wallet picked off of him or something. “And how exactly did that happen?”

“See that table over there?” Loki nodded in affirmation. “Well, they have this game to play, keep your eye on the cards as they shuffle. I saw three people go before me and they all won! But I lost! Five times!”

Loki wasn’t sure what to make of that. Perhaps his brother was just being imbecilic, unobservant. Or maybe he actually was tricked. Honestly, Loki had a nose for those kinds of things, and he felt like perhaps that was the case here. He wanted to write it off, but admittedly, his interest had been piqued.

“Alright,” was all he said before walking in the direction Thor had pointed.

The blond god trailed behind him, perking up a bit now that his brother was on the case. He did always have a knack for these kinds of things, outsmarting others with his tricks and the like.

“Excuse me,” Loki said, clearing his throat after waiting his turn. It seemed you had been swindling people after all, he learned as he watched you work.

“Sorry, sweethearts,” you said with a honey voice, remembering Thor from moments ago. “No refunds.”

“And who said we were requesting one?” You eyed him distrust fully as he sat down. “My brother lost against you, but that is par for the course-”

“Hey!” Thor chimed in, but Loki put up a hand to silence him.

“-while I am not so easily confused. Now, I believe I am meant to set the stakes?”

He put down the same amount of money Thor had lost and then some. Your eyes widened in disbelief. There was a bit of a crowd now, both your shills and people you’d already tricked. There was no way you could turn this man down. You felt like he had some tricks of his own up his sleeve, but how could you resist?

“Right. So you know the rules then? If I win, I keep your bet; if you win, I double it.”

“Yes. So, shall we begin?”

You frowned at his grin. “Ok. Keep your eye on the ace of spades.”

You began to shuffle the cards quickly and sometimes all three at once. Still, he caught the exact moment you switched the card with the one in your sleeve. To the inexperienced eye, he could see how it would go unnoticed. Unfortunately for you, the god had magic on his side. Loki smirked as you told him it was time to pick the card.

“Darling, you could have at least made it hard,” he tsked, pointing at the leftmost option. “This one.”

“Sorry, but-”

You abruptly cut off when you flipped the card to find it was, in fact, the ace of spades. Frowning, you furrowed your brow.

“May I have my winnings now or shall we play again,” he smiled.

“You cheated,” you accused, voice low and leaning across the table towards him.

“So did you,” he shot back, matching your pitch.

The two of you engaged in a mini staring contest, a battle of your wills. “Fine. Take it,” you begrudged, tossing his money towards him.

“Yes!” Thor boomed. “Do not mess with the Avengers! Especially not when it is the Odinson brothers.”

Your eyes widened. “Y-you two are avengers?” you asked in disbelief and worry.

“We are. And I am not too sure this ‘business’ you have here is legitimate.”

“Brother,” Loki cautioned while reimbursing the others gathered who had lost their money. Noticeably, your friends had run off. At least his time with Thor had expanded his vocabulary, though. “You got your money back, did you not?”

“Yes, but tell me this is not a scam. How many others can we allow them to- Wait. Where did they go?”

Loki looked to see you running down the sidewalk. “Leave it.”

“But-”

“Leave it,” Loki snapped a bit harsher. “They are not doing any real harm. You do not know their situation.”

“Fine. But we at least deserve some celebratory ice cream.”

Loki sighed once more, staring off after you. “Lead the way.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You set a brisk pace as you went home that evening. The rest of the day had been fairly unprofitable, as you had to lie low after a couple of pesky avengers messed with your business. It wasn’t like being a con-artist was your first choice in careers, but that was always how your dad provided for your family growing up. One thing led to another, and there you were, jobless and without any profitable skill besides what your father had taught you. Still, you’d probably gotten too big for your britches when you scammed Thor. You had your reasons, though.

Locking the door of your tiny apartment, you were surprised to see a certain raven haired man standing there. “You,” you glared, tossing your keys into the dish on your table.

“Yes, me,” he replied, pulling you by your belt loops into a kiss. “Hello, darling.”

“Hi, sweetheart. I’m still mad at you.”

“I am truly sorry, but you did trick my brother,” he said, giving you as much space as possible on the old, small couch. “It was funny, I admit, but he is trying for me, so it only seems fair I try for him. I hope you know I would never have let him actually do anything to or report you.”

“Yeah, I know.” You scooted closer, the anger already dissipating. Loki helped you out more than you cared to admit; he was the reason you even met rent these past few months. Of course you wanted to pay him back, but he insisted there was no need. Still, that didn’t mean you wouldnt’t try.

He pulled you onto his lap, giving your temple a kiss. “Good. You are even better at acting than I thought, my darling, pretending you did not even recognize us and all,” he chuckled. “Though I am still wondering why you picked my brother as your target.”

“Well, how else was I supposed to get your attention,” you pouted, hating to admit it. “You haven’t come around all week.”

“I am sorry. I suppose Thor deserved it then; he is the one who has been keeping me busy. Though, I did have an idea about that.”

You wiggled around his arms, so you could face him. You usually liked his ideas, particularly when it was his trickster side talking. “Oh? Do tell.”

“Come work in the Tower. I think we could use someone with your skills on the team. Plus, we would have more time with each other.”

You blinked in surprise at the suggestion. It wasn’t an entirely bad one, but you were on the fence. “Well... Maybe. I’ll have to think about it.”

“Take your time, darling. I will always be here for you, regardless,” he said, gazing into your eyes and beginning to lean in for another kiss. “And that is not a trick.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

#thanks for requesting! #loki x reader #loki x you #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki #mcu loki #loki fluff #fluff #mcu fluff #marvel fluff #reader insert #gender netural reader #marvel #mcu #marvel reader insert #marvel fanfiction #loki fanfic #mcu reader insert #loki friggason #loki friggason x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki oneshot #marvel oneshot #loki x y/n #loki x reader angst

[sinner-as-saint]

Power Over Me - 6

Bucky Barnes x Reader AU

Previous Parts

Run-through: CEO James Buchanan Barnes is a dominant. And he’s spent the last 5 years searching for his perfect submissive. Then one night, he finds you. He thinks everything will fall perfectly into place now; but he thought wrong. Turns out your unfortunate past which still haunts you to this day, and some of his enemies are, well, connected. Things go wrong. And your bond with your dom is tested in many ways…

Themes throughout the series: dom/sub dynamic, smut, dirty talk, angst, fluff, soft dom!bucky

a/n: *sigh* and here we are! This is the last part of the Power Over Me series. Thank you to everyone who loved and supported this series. And thank you for loving soft dom!bucky as much as I did! I love you guys!

3 months later, you found yourself in a much better place.

You were in a much better mental space than you were on the day you left Bucky’s house. You weren’t broken in pieces anymore. You were healing just fine.

The memories still hurt. The betrayal and the lies hurt. And the heartbreak did as well. But none of those even came close to how much your heart hurt when it missed Bucky. You were hurt, but you still loved him. He had changed your life after all, he had gotten you out of a bad place. He showed you how to love again, how to trust. He catered to all your needs. He protected you.

He made you feel safe. But he also lied. And you found out in the most terrible way possible. After that day outside your work building, you never saw Thor again. Guess he had made a mess and had left your life for good this time – and you were thankful for that last part.

That evening, when you packed up some basic things and left Bucky’s house, you went straight to find a hotel room for the night. You still had your amazing job and enough money in your bank account to find a new place. A couple of hard and long days filled with tears later, you found yourself in a cozy little, not too expensive apartment, not too far from work.

You settled in just fine. You did contact the club and asked them if Bucky came by, looking for his money back. And they said no. You did try to pay them their money back still, in the fit of rage and heartbreak that you were in, but they refused to tell you how much he had paid for you initially and they didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. So you had no other choice than to let it go and forget about the club like it was a bad dream.

You settled into your new place over the week, and then Friday night in the first week you heard a knock at your door. You were in the shower so it took you a minute to get to the door. When you finally opened the front door however, you saw nothing but a folded piece of paper on the ground, and no one else was in sight.

Curious, you picked it up and closed the door behind you again. You opened the note and saw that it was in Bucky’s handwriting. Asking you to meet him at the bistro you always went for dinner on Friday nights. It had become a little ritual of yours.

You felt a pang in your chest.

You tore the paper apart bit by bit and then threw it in the trash. Then broke down crying on the floor. Why would he reach out if his love was fake and just for show? Why wouldn’t he just let you be? You loved him, despite how wrong his actions had been. But you didn’t go that night. Instead you curled up in your bed and let your tears fall until you fell asleep.

From then on, each Friday night, at around the same time you’d receive a knock on your door. And you’d open and you’d find a note on the floor at your door. Sometimes you’d open to see what it said, other times you just threw them all in the trash without even opening it.

It was always the same message. Asking you to meet him at the bistro. After the first month, you began questioning yourself. Should you have given him a chance to explain himself before you left that night?

-

Life went on. By the second month, you were back to being yourself again. You had friends, and you went out each weekend and had fun. Each time you were out though, you always kept an eye out for a tall man with dark hair and blue eyes. You often wondered, what would you do if you ever came across Bucky casually and unexpectedly on the streets one day?

Would you stop and listen to what he has to say? Would you pretend he’s just another face in the crowd? Or would you just glare at him and move on? Besides, why was he still trying? Couldn’t he see you didn’t want anything to do with him anymore?

Okay, that was a lie. You died a little each time you heard the knock at your door each Friday night. You couldn’t fight the need to be with him, despite how pissed you were. You wanted nothing more than to just be in his arms again. Or have him hold you in his bathtub again, and kiss you and tell you there’s nothing to worry about because he’s there for you.

Oh you missed him.

 Three months passed this way. Each Friday night you would receive the note – which you tore apart. And you thought that as time would go by, all of it would hurt less. It did. But as time went on, you missed Bucky more and more.

Until one day you hit your limit. That’s it, I’m going to that bistro.

-

You walked in through the doors and the memories came flooding back in. One of the main reasons why you and Bucky used to love this place is because it was very lowkey and quiet. Never crowded and it was very cozy. The little bell rang above you as you walked in.

You scanned the place, your heart racing and then you were sure your heart skipped a beat once you finally saw him. Bucky, in the furthest corner of the room.

He looked at you like he was witnessing a miracle. He was indeed, he had been trying for three months to get you to talk to him. He called when you first left, then you blocked his number after the first try. Then he had his people look for you because he was miserable and he had forgotten how to live without you. He ended up finding the address to your apartment, but he didn’t want to be pushy, or invade your privacy too much. So he figured a handwritten note would do.

Little did he know that three months later, the little note would in fact bring you to him. He was blown away when he saw you walk in. Little brown, body hugging dress, a tan coat, boots – simple but enough to make him want to get on his knees and beg you to come back to him again.

He noticed your hair was longer, it looked great. You wore red lipstick now, you never used to before.

“Bucky.” you were conflicted as you greeted him as politely as you could. There was a pain in your chest. Was it a wave of nostalgia or was it just your heart swelling up with happiness now that you’ve finally met the man you loved?

Hi baby… “Y/N, hi.” He stood up and walked over to pull back your chair for you, like he always did no matter where you went.

You sat down and watched him as he took a seat right across you. He had waited three months for this, he didn’t want to waste any more time. So he got right to it.

“I know you’re hurt. I just need to you listen to me, and then you can… leave if you want to. But I deserve a chance to explain myself.” He spoke, looking down at his folded arms on the tabletop. Okay, he did deserve one chance.

Only upon hearing his voice did you realize how much you had truly missed him. He looked, just as broken as you were. His hair was a little longer, curlier. His eyes were the same, just more tired. His facial hair seemed a little not so well groomed. But he looked good nonetheless.

“Okay. Go on.” You kept your replies short because that lump in your throat wouldn’t let you talk anyways.

He took a deep breath and began. “I’m sorry.” He paused. “I should apologize because what I did was wrong, and you didn’t deserve to find out that way. I should’ve been open and honest about it.” his words brought you back to that first discussion you had in his study that one night. “But my intentions weren’t as petty as you were made to think.”

You were quiet.

He shook his head slightly, thinking back on everything. “I was scared to tell you about the… deal I made with the club. I was scared because you were the most perfect thing in my life. And I was completely in love with you and I couldn’t risk losing you. I needed you way too much. Still do.”

He looked up to find you looking down at your lap. He continued. “When I saw you that night, at the club, I didn’t know you had been involved with Thor before, as his sub. I found out later, when you told me.” This made you look up at him.

Oh.

He continued. “When I saw you that night I… my whole world changed. You were everything I was looking for. And I knew I had to take you home and keep you safe. I had to save you from that place, and from men like Thor.” He paused again, and exhaled loudly. “I never brought you home to show off to him, or as a trophy or whatever the hell he told you.”

His voice was calm still. Sincere, and he hoped to make you see his side of the story. Seeing you were still quiet, he continued talking. “Y/N, I love you. I love you more than I could ever put into words. And I’m sorry for not telling you sooner about what I did.” He paused. You couldn’t move your eyes away from his face. Oh Bucky…

“I thought you said we would tell each other things. Every little thing. Then how did you miss this, Bucky?” you spoke up finally. He hung his head low in shame. “This would’ve hurt much less if you had told me the truth on day one, rather than me finding out through Thor after I spent months loving you. Why did you have to hide such a thing?”

…I spent months loving you… “I was scared. I was scared that you would leave me. And back then I thought that when you do find out the truth one day, you would at least give me the chance to explain myself. Instead you just took off.” He sounded hurt. Then again, so were you.

You sighed, inching forward and making sure to keep your voice down. “I took off because I was heartbroken. And because I’ve been in that situation before where a man bought me and then fed me lies, I-,”

He cut you off. “I didn’t feed you lies! I-,”

You cut him off then. “I’m not done yet.”

He was quiet after that.

“As I was saying, I left because I didn’t know what else I should do. I felt betrayed, Buck. My past hasn’t been easy and you know it.” your words hurt him. “I thought… I didn’t…” you trailed off then took a deep breath and continued, “I couldn’t go through it. Not again. I had just been told that the man I love bought me just to assert dominance over his rival. What would you do, huh?” you waited.

He sighed. “Why did you have to believe him?” he asked, his voice a little shaky.

You scoffed. “I had no other choice. His words made sense at the time, and I was vulnerable and he knew just what to say to break me down. Besides, you had been lying to me, hiding the truth this whole time and Thor, despite being a pure evil person, was the one who told me the truth.” You paused, letting him feel the hurt that you felt that day, three months ago. “I had no other choice but to believe him.”

Bucky was quiet for a little while. Then he spoke up. “Do you forgive me? Don’t I deserve a second chance to make things right?” he asked.

You did forgive him. He did deserve a second chance. But…

You sighed. “Buck, if I go through something like that again, it will kill me.” You referred to the heartbreak.

Bucky reached out and grabbed your hand and held it in his. This was the first time in three months that he touched you, and it nearly made his eyes water. Fuck, he missed you. “Babe, this is you and I we’re talking about. You and I have a special bond.” He looked you right in the eyes as he spoke. “You are the love of my life, and nothing will ever change that.” he said, meaning each word. I love you, damn it!

I love you too…

“Buck…” you trailed off, not knowing what to say. You wanted so desperately to hold on to him. You lowered your eyes immediately, fearing you might start tearing up.

He let go of your hand for a brief moment, reached into the inside pocket of his coat and pulled out a long, rectangular box. “Come home. Come back to me, please.” He pushed the box towards you and you knew immediately what it was.

His collar.

Bucky had kept it of course, both the collar and the ring. But he decided not to bring up the ring just yet, one step at a time.

You looked down at the black box with a little bow on it. Your hands itched to touch it. You had missed it, missed having it around your neck. You missed how you used to wear it so proudly – proud that you were his. Bucky’s.

Bucky watched how you hesitated. You didn’t even open the box. Then you looked up at him and he caught the look in your eyes. Oh no…

“Bucky, I, um…” you trailed off, not knowing how to word it properly.

No. No. No. “You found another dom?” he asked, getting protective out of habit. You shook your head at him and sighed.

“He’s not a dom.” You answered. Bucky’s world came crashing down a second time. Oh fuck no…

“Who is he, then?” he asked, not caring of he sounded a little pissed off. How could you… just move on?

You shifted in your seat. “His name’s Steve. I met him recently, through a co-worker.” You answered, taking it slow.

I don’t care. I don’t care. You can’t be with someone else, you’re mine. Bucky’s inner thoughts were haunting him as you spoke.

“I decided to take a break from… all that, and try something a little more lowkey and normal this time. Steve and I are… supposed to be going out tomorrow.” You didn’t know why you felt guilty for saying so.

“Do you like him?” he asked, ready to punch that fucker already.

You chuckled dryly. “I met him once. We’ve been texting and stuff, and I don’t know what you and I are anymore so…” you trailed off. Once you said it out loud, you realized that you didn’t. You didn’t like Steve. No. You loved Bucky. You were just trying to forget him, but you couldn’t.

That’s why you agreed on going on a date with Steve in the first place – to try and forget Bucky, to try and move on. But now that you were here, in front of him with his collar which meant so much to you, right in front of you; you realized that you could never love another man as much as you loved Bucky.

“Oh.” Bucky was hurt and he didn’t even try to hide it. He didn’t know what hurt more; that you rejected his collar, or that you were trying to date other people and didn’t need him as your dom anymore. He chuckled, feeling sorry for himself. “Well, look who’s breaking my heart?” he tried to turn it into a joke but couldn’t.

No. I’m not, I still love you. I love you more than anything, Buck please…

“Bucky, I-,”

He cut you off. “No, it’s okay. You’re not wrong. It’s just that, I thought that you and I…” he trailed off. I thought that you and I would end up together like we promised. I thought we would get married and have a family like I always dreamt of. I thought that I would retire and raise our kids with you, in our home. He couldn’t stay any longer. “I gotta go, I guess.” He got up to leave and you were frozen in place.

Don’t go, I love you. Don’t go. “Bucky, the collar…” you wondered if he would take it with him, or would he just leave it here with you.

He sighed, chuckled and looked down at you. You remained seated as he took a step away from the table, ready to leave. “Throw it away on your way out. I… I can’t keep it.” he swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. He instinctively reached out and gently touched your face, grazing your skin with his knuckles. “Thank you for meeting me, and listening to me.”

Then he left. And you didn’t stop him, you were still processing all of it.

---

Bucky spent the entire night and the following day drowning in his sadness, lying on the bed which used to be yours, desperately holding on to all that he still had left of you. He shed tears last night, after he left the bistro. But now, he was just too weak to even cry.

He was broken.

You were in no better shape. After Bucky left, you picked up the collar and made your way to your apartment. You didn’t throw it, you couldn’t. Once you got home, your hands were a little shaky as you put the collar on and stood in front of the mirror.

Oh Bucky… I miss you.

 Saturday evening, Bucky heard a knock at the front door. He lazily walked downstairs and opened the door to reveal someone he least expected.

You.

You looked up at him. Red, watery eyes. His sweater was all wrinkled and his hair was a mess. You weren’t in that great of a shape either to be honest. He looked right at you until he finally realized that this wasn’t his mind playing tricks on him. It was actually you.

He wanted to just pulled you inside and give you a tight hug and never let you go again but he waited.

“Hi.” You said, surprisingly, sounding less hurt than you did at the bistro the previous night.

Bucky kept quiet. He frowned a little, remembering clearly that you said you were gonna go out today with what’s his name. “Don’t you have a date to go on to with your little boyfriend?” he sounded like a pissed off, middle aged dad.

You sighed, rolling your eyes and lowering them down because they began watering already. “I met the guy once. He’s not my boyfriend.” You paused and stepped forward just a little. You needed to be close to him so badly. “Besides, I had to come home to you.” you said and it broke him again. But in a good way this time.

You kept your eyes down and continued. “I realized last night that no matter how angry I am, no matter how much I try to move on or forget, no matter where I’ll go, I’ll always need you. I’ll always be yours, because… because I love you, Buck.” you bit your lip and held back a sob.

He couldn’t resist pulling you into his arms any longer. “Baby, come here,” he pulled you inside and closed the door behind you and gave you a tight hug. You wrapped your arms around his torso, tightening your grip around him as you pushed your face into his chest and cried.

“I love you, Buck.” you sobbed. “I love you so much. Please don’t let me go.” Your tears wet his clothes but he didn’t mind. You were here now, you were with him and all was well.

“I know, baby. I love you. And I’m never letting you go.” He cooed, kissing the top of your head. “You’re home now, it’s okay.” He tried to calm you down when he himself held back his tears.

You pulled away to look up at him with tears staining your cheeks. He wiped them all away and gave you a kiss on the forehead. “Don’t worry baby, I’m here.” He cooed and kissed down your damp cheek and down your neck. Then he noticed you were wearing his collar again and something in his shifted naturally. “You’re wearing my collar again.” he noted, holding your chin gently.

You nodded. You hadn’t taken it off since last night to be honest. Bucky gave you a look, one you understood all too well. And just like that, it felt like you two hadn’t spent three months apart.

“Would you want to go to my playroom, Y/N?” he asked, using his dom voice that you had missed so much.

“Yes, sir.” You answered, without hesitation.

 And that’s how you found yourself in Bucky’s playroom, cuffed to the big X-cross on the side of the room. He tied each one of your wrists and ankles to each end of the cross. He left your waist unrestrained and something told you he wanted you bound and restrained, but he also wanted to see you squirm. He had you blindfolded and you were left in suspense as he moved around the room.

You could hear him pick up things here and there. You could hear his footsteps getting closer then moving away again.

He finally approached you and gently touched your cheek. Your heart raced in anticipation. “Keep your safe words in mind, Y/N. I will not push your limits too much, however, you will not cum without my permission. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.” Oh how you had missed that voice of his.

“Do you know why you are here, Y/N? Why I’m having to correct your behavior?” he asked again, and this time you couldn’t tell if he was close by or far away because your own heartbeats rang in your ears.

You worded out your answer as best as you could, despite the nervousness and excitement, and impatience. “Because I left, sir. And because I chose to believe Thor and I got carried away by my emotions. I didn’t give you a chance to tell your side of the story. I should’ve trusted you and known that you would never do anything to hurt me, sir.”

Hmm. Bucky toyed with the suede flogger in his hand. Good enough baby, but…

You waited. He didn’t say anything, instead you just received a smack across the chest with what you knew to be the suede flogger. You gasped, not expecting it. It didn’t hurt that much, it tingled around your erected nipples.

“You’re right. But not entirely.” He spoke and you heard him step aside and you knew he went to pick something up. He approached you again. He stepped closer than where he stood earlier. You felt his warm breath right in between your breasts as he kissed his way up to your neck while positioning a plug right at your puckered hole.

You felt the coldness of the lube and the size of the plug as he pushed it more and more inside you. His lips brushed along your throat as he spoke up again, “Those aren’t the only reasons you’re here, Y/N.” pushed the plug further into you. Your body welcomed it in, desperate to fill the void. Any void, by anything. You relaxed your body as much as you could. But Bucky was making it hard.

He nibbled and kissed right at your most sensitive spots along your neck, whispering as he went. “You are here because you didn’t hear me out.” he managed to get the entire toy in you and his hand pulled away from you. But not his lips, they kept trailing along your throat and collar bones as he spoke.

“You’re here because I love you more than anything in this world and beyond. But you ignored all the love I gave you.” he paused, sucking on your skin before letting it go. “You’re here because you dared to even question the love I have for you.” he kissed along your jaw. “You’re here because in the past three months, there wasn’t a day where your memories didn’t torment me until I broke down completely.”

He kissed down to your breasts again. His words and the softness of his lips were making you lose your mind already. “I begged for you to come back. I was on my knees, screaming your name,” he kissed his way back up to your ear and nibbled on your earlobe, “but you never came back to me.” He purposely brushed his lips against your own. “You’re here because you abandoned me when I needed you the most.” He repeated. “I needed you, Y/N, and you weren’t here because you chose to believe a vile person over me.”

You were breathless and needy by the time he pulled away from you. “Sir, I’m sorry…” You whined. And you earned yourself another smack in between your legs by the flogger. You whimpered, you had forgotten about the plug. But the tingles left behind by the flogger reminded you that it was there, stretching you out, filling you up; snug and deep inside you.

Bucky chuckled, lifting his hand up and gently touching your lips with his finger. He circled your mouth, tracing it softly then dragged that finger down your neck, and in between your breasts and down your stomach and finally, he slipped it in between your legs. He toyed with your folds, his finger parting them with ease. You were soaking wet. “Sorry doesn’t make it better.” He whispered. “You were even on the verge of dating someone else, weren’t you?” He approached you, teasing your entrance with his finger. You moaned, squirming already. “Tell me, would you let him to all this to you?” his voice was deeper, dripping with lust.

You were quick to respond. “No, sir. I would not.”

Hmm. He tortured you even more by just gently pressing his finger against your entrance. You squirmed again, whining with your lips parted. “Would you let him touch you?” Bucky’s lips touched your skin again, near your ear where he whispered, “Would you let him please you? And do all the things that I do to you, huh?” he asked, taunting you. He knew damn well no one could ever satisfy you like he could.

“No sir, please...” you begged, whining.

He chuckled again, finally slipping his finger inside you. Then added another, stretching you out at the same time as the plug. Bucky curled his fingers and stroked you gently. You moaned out loud, squirming and tugging onto the cuffs as his brief touch sent electricity coursing through your veins. “You see? Your body remembers me, Y/N. It knows it belongs to me, and no one,” he leaned in closer to your ear, “No one at all, can touch it. You’re mine, you hear me?”

Oh fuck… “Yes, sir.” You were breathless, and you whined in discontent as he removed his fingers from you, mercilessly. Smack. Smack. You felt the suede flogger against your body again, on your stomach and your breasts this time.

“What color?”

“Green, sir.”

You were dripping already, legs shaking with how wonderful the plug felt but also because you craved him. His touch. You received a few more smacks from the flogger, then he got rid of it. He stepped closer to you on the cross again, his lips brushing faintly against your own as he spoke. “Do you know how miserable I was without you?” he asked, catching you off guard with how soft and quiet he sounded. Which was immediately followed by, “Would you like me to show you?”

You gasped, trembling. His words alone made you almost start to moan like a man woman. “Yes, sir.”

He stepped away. You relied on your hearing to make out where he was, or what he was picking up to punish you with. And then you heard it, the buzzing sound of the vibrator. Bucky walked over to you and placed it in between your legs; right on top of your entrance. You whined immediately as it made contact with your body.

The vibrations reverberated throughout your entire body, making you squirm and tug on the cuffs. You threw your head back and whimpered as he wiggled the wand a little and making you whine louder. You felt your body clench around the plug as he teased you.

“I missed you so much.” He said, softly as he pressed the vibrator further against you, mercilessly. Please…please…please you silently begged. “Do you know how that felt?” he asked, his voice calm but taunting. You didn’t answer, you couldn’t focus on anything. You involuntarily moved your body forward; against the vibrator. Bucky noticed, and he lifted the vibrator off you; denying you even a bit of release. You trashed around and squirmed, moaning again. “This is how it felt.” He hissed right in your ear.

You were still recovering from your denial when you felt a loud smack right on your thigh. You recognized that it was his riding crop. You yelped, not expecting it. He trailed the tip of the riding crop from your thigh, up to right in between your legs and gave you a little smack there, making you cry out again before he brought it up all the way to your breast.

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” Smack. You yelped. Bucky stepped closer and tilted your head back and kissed you deeply. More like invaded your mouth like he owned it; pushing his tongue past your lips and stroking the top of your mouth like it was nothing. You whimpered as he pulled away despite knowing you wanted more. “It’s so frustrating to want something so terribly, then just have it snatched away from you so mercilessly, isn’t it, Y/N?”

You earned yourself a spank right in between your legs when you didn’t reply. Your body clenched around the plug again, you moaned wantonly. “Answer me.” He sounded a little more stern.

“Yes it does, sir. Please…” you begged. He didn’t say anything. Instead, you felt the vibrator being pressed against your clit again.

Bucky pressed the vibrator further against your core, making you drip even more and moan louder, making you squirm and making your body beg for him. “I was yearning for you, my little pearl.” He sounded soft and quiet again. His actions anything but. He wiggled the wand around and make you scream louder. “I was alone. Broken and empty. I needed you but you weren’t here.” He moved the toy from between your legs, trailing it up your body, circling your erected nipples with the tip of the wand and then back down to where you craved it the most.

You were sure if it weren’t for the blindfold, you would have tears streaming down your face by now.

“Sir, please… I’m sorry. I should’ve stayed and listened. We could’ve worked it out.” You were breathless and whimpering. Bucky hummed at your response but then kept toying with you.

For quite a while, he kept at it. You begged him incessantly, but he denied you each time. He teased you and denied you your release like he owned your very being. Your pleas were incessant, and wanton. But he still wouldn’t give in. He kept going until your body trembled against the big cross. Until your pleas became incoherent, and your spit trailed down your chin. You were a mess.

He removed the vibrator off your body abruptly, deciding he had messed with you enough. You whined again at the loss of contact. No... please…

“Sir, please…”

You heard him carelessly throwing the wand and the other equipment on the bed before stepping closer to you. “It’s okay angel, I’m here now.”

You felt him kiss his way down your body; starting from your neck all the way down to your legs, where he untied your ankles. He kissed up your thighs again, then pulled the plug out making you squirm. Your wrists were both still cuffed to the cross as he lowered his pants, picked your legs up and wrapped them around his waist. His cock briefly brushed against your wet folds in the process and you whimpered.

“What color, Y/N?”

“Green.” Oh fuck… please.

Bucky had done his waiting, months of it. Now all he wanted was you. To remind you that you belong with him. All he wanted was to hear you scream as he makes you cum around him. So he wasted no time in aligning his throbbing tip to your dripping wet entrance.

He pushed himself into you; stretching you out. His nails digging into your skin as he held you by your hips, as he filled you up like always; making you whine and moan as he went. You were both gasping by the time he filled you up entirely. “You’re mine.” he growled in your ear. “Tell me.” He stayed still, allowing himself to feel your walls clenching around his cock. “Tell me you’re mine.”

You whined. Oh fuck… “I’m yours, sir please...”

Bucky started rocking in and out of you, without wasting any time. You felt all of him; your walls clenched around his thick cock as he started out with slow strokes and then gradually sped up into you. “You’re not going anywhere, you hear me?” he asked. And you nodded pathetically.

You felt all of him, the bumpy and the velvety skin of his length. He felt incredible as he stroked your walls with his pulsating cock. You were a moaning mess in no time. “Promise you’re never gonna leave me.” He hissed, speeding up into you, absolutely fucking you into the wall behind you.

You whined like a desperate brat. “I promise, sir…” you didn’t even know if you made sense anymore. Because in your head you didn’t. All you could think of was his cock, and how well it filled you up. He pushed his head into the crook of your neck and swore under his breath.

He fucked you relentlessly; earning more and more moans out of you each time his cock stroked your walls. You soon felt the familiar pressure forming; pressing inside you as the familiar warmth spread all over your body. You moaned wantonly.

Bucky nibbled at the skin under your ear and you lost all control you had left; your mind a foggy mess. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone each time he buried himself completely in you, and he soon quickened his pace; earning even more moans and mewls from you.

He pounded into you as fast as he could. He moaned right into your ear and the sound sent shivers down your back like it always did. “You’re all mine!” he growled again, biting down on your skin.

Your legs started to shake around him as he quickened his pace; pounding into you relentlessly. The pleasure built nicely as he took you higher… and higher… and higher.

“Sir, may I please cum?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. You were so thoroughly fucked out you could barely talk properly.

“Yes, angel. Cum for me, cum all over my cock…” he breathed into your ear. You couldn’t hold back anymore. So, you came undone around his cock; screaming. Walls clenching around him. Bucky’s thrusts became irregular and slower as he came right after you did, cock throbbing against your pulsating walls; moaning out loud when he felt your walls pulsating violently around him, both of you gasping for air.

“I love you, baby.” he said, breathless just as you.

“I love you more.” you responded.

 Your mind was hazy from there on. And you were only able to reorient yourself once he pulled you into his lap in the bathtub; both of you surrounded by warm water. And once you did, tears began escaping your eyes again.

“Are you okay, my little pearl?” he asked, tightening his arms around you.

“I’m sorry.” You sniffled, hugging him tighter. He kissed the top of your head.

“It’s okay baby. Don’t apologize. We’ll heal, both of us. And we’re gonna be okay, together.” He cooed, stroking your hair gently. You placed a soft kiss on his chest.

“I was so rash, and unfair.” You argued, softly as you pulled away from his chest.

He smiled at you, cupping your face. “You were angry and hurting, baby. You had every right to be. I messed up by not telling you the truth sooner. I should’ve be honest from the start.” He said, looking you deep in the eyes.

“I should’ve stayed. Just to give you a chance to explain yourself.” you argued back.

He shook his head. “You were protecting yourself from being hurt again. It’s okay, babe. We’re okay, look.” He leaned in to give you a deep kiss, proving to you that there was no hard feeling between you two anymore. He kissed down your neck, gently and you noted that your collar was off again. You smiled.

“I love you, Buck.” you said again. You would say it a thousand time but it still wouldn’t do justice to how much love you had for this man.

“I love you too, baby.” he kissed your forehead. “Tell me something,” he sat straighter with you still in his lap, “When you’re ready, and when we’ve both healed completely, and when I’ve made up for the mess I made,” he paused, “one day, you will marry me, right?”

You chuckled, leaning in to cup his face and kissed him on the nose. “I will.” you hugged him again, tighter this time. “Why do we always have these serious talks in bathtubs?”

He laughed. “I love you so much.” He mumbled against your neck. You said you loved him back, and Bucky could feel his heart healing already. And yours was too. This was all you both needed; each other.

It’s true then, huh. Bucky thought.

There was this thought in his head, which haunted him during the time that you were away from him these past three months. Turns out, it wasn’t haunting him – it was just a reminder. That at the end of the day, he was lost without you. He was incomplete without you. He’d even go to say that he needed you a tad bit more than you needed him.

It’s you, baby. It’s always been you.

His inner voice spoke up again as he held you in his arms in that bathtub, wondering if he’ll ever have enough time in this lifetime to even show you just how much you mean to him. He knew then, that instead of being the other way around all along, it was always you who had power over him.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes imagine #marvel #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x you #sebastian stan

[platoniclokiimagines]

Loki being a sucker for pet names? He says he's a monster but when you use a pet name for him he just s t o p s

WC: 1654

TW: mention of counseling and anger management

A/N: I couldn’t remember the pronouns of who sent this in, because it’s been like Two Years, hence the “Lady” used in this fic, but for future reference, when I re-open requests, if you could please let me know the pronouns you’d like in the fic, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

A/N 2: There were many, many ways I could have gone with this, but naturally I went a little whumpy. Sue me. And enjoy~

The first time you called Loki a pet name, you hadn’t meantanything by it.

It was your night to make dinner, and Loki, still new tobeing around the compound and therefore not as trusted by most everyone else,had been given the task of helping you with whatever you needed. You didn’tmind. Loki was quiet and didn’t ask a lot of questions, and that made them nicecompany. Certainly better that Stark and his not-so-subtle jokes and smartassquips, or Thor Thor with his twenty questions about everything Midgardianwhenever the two of you did something together.

It didn’t even make you nervous that Loki seemed to watchyour every move, like they were waiting for you to say or do something thatmight put them in danger. You just let them study you, hardly even looking upat them as you read over the recipe on your phone.

“Loki, be a doll and pass me the salt, please? It’s thatcontainer just by the stove.”

“I quite beg your pardon?”

Loki’s slightly offended tone gave you pause, and you lookedup at them, brow furrowed. “…salt? It’s a seasoning. That white,crystal-looking-”

“No, I know what salt is, Lady Y/N.”

“You don’t have to call me that. It’s just Y/N.” You smileda bit as you watched them. “…was it the term of endearment? I can stop, if itmakes you uncomfortable.”

“…endearment.” Loki seemed genuinely confused, and you filedthat away to remember it.

“…yes? Nicknames are much faster to say than Loki, God ofMischief, you know.”

“…right.” After a long moment, Loki turned to the stove andfetched the salt, as you had asked, and said nothing else as they handed it toyou.

You weren’t sure what else to say on the matter, either, soyou just smiled and murmured a quiet thank you before turning back to yourcooking.

You supposed it made sense, given everything Thor had toldyou and the rest of the Avengers about everything Loki had been through, thataffection and endearment was something Loki wasn’t accustomed to. You wouldn’tbe surprised if you found out Loki had never been called by anything other thantheir name or the snarky nicknames Tony had for them.

It seemed like a terrible way togrow up, with little affection between you and your family members. All themore reason to show it now, you decided, and it was with that thought in mindthat your mission to test out pet names for Loki came to fruition.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Days passed before you comfortably had the chance to slipanother affectionate nickname into conversation with Loki. Even with such ashort time period between the two points in time, Loki had seemed to warm up toyou even more, sometimes going so far as to choose to sit on the same couchwith you as they read, while you either watched tv or fiddled on your phone.

Not wanting to make them uncomfortable, you waited to makesure that you were the only two in the room before you glanced over at them,mostly so you could watch their reaction. “Loki, dear, can you hand me theremote? I’ll turn it down so it’s quieter for you to read.”

Just as before, Loki hesitated, like they weren’t entirelysure how to handle being calledsomething affectionate, and it took them a few moments before they seemed tosnap out of it. “…that’s really not necessary, L… Y/N. I’m used to reading in far louder environments. You think Thor’sloud now, you wouldn’t believe theamount of noise he made as a teenager.”

You laughed a bit. “Yes, I imagine Thor was one of thosekids that was easily excitable and loud in expression.”

“Yes, that’s it exactly.” Loki smiled a little, as well, andyou released a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

One way or another, you weregoing to get Loki used to being treated nicely. Even if it took months.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As part of the agreement that ensured Loki could stay on atthe compound, Loki had been placed in an array of different therapy sessions,ranging from anger management to sibling counseling with Thor to just regularone-on-one counseling.

Unfortunately, that meant that sometimes Loki came back fromthem in a storm of a bad mood, wanting nothing more than to separate themselffrom the rest of the group and sulk somewhere where they could beself-deprecating or angry or hurt in peace.

You hadn’t particularlymeant to stumble upon Loki in one of these moods; mostly, you just wanted tomake sure that they were okay, and to see if there was anything you could do orget for them.

Hesitantly, you knocked on the door, not wanting to startlethem and risk upsetting them even more.

“Loki…? It’s Y/N. Can I come in?”

Loki gave no response, but after a pregnant pause, you heardthe door unlock, and you took that as an okay to go ahead into their room.Making sure to lock the door behind you, out of politeness, you turned aroundto see Loki curled up in the smallest ball you imagined they could manage.Unsure if you should try to get closer, you stayed where you were, watchingthem in silence.

“…can I get you anything? Some water, or… tea? We have someof that chamomile that you like. I made sure to get plenty of boxes the lasttime we went to the store, and-”

“Why do you bother?”

You were a bit taken aback by Loki’s words, not because theyheld any bite, but because they seemed so earnest.Like they genuinely couldn’t understand why you wanted to help.

“…I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand what you mean.”

“I mean why areyou going through all this trouble? Being nice, talking to me when no one elsedoes, checking up on me? Don’t you ever get bored with it?”

“…why would I get bored with it?”

Loki turned to look at you then, scowling, though you weren’tentirely sure it was directed at you. “Because no one likes being thesacrificial lamb, the… the balance between sides.”

“…I suppose I don’t see it like that.”

Loki didn’t scoff or roll their eyes, like you expected theymight, but instead, they just looked at you, almost more earnestly than you’dever seen them look before.

“And how do yousee it?”

“Well… We’re friends.” You smiled a bit. “We’re two newpeople, getting to know each other while also getting used to being around theothers, too.”

“We can’t be friends.” Loki said it almost robotically, likeit was a trained response. “For one thing, you’re a human, and I’m a god and…Y/N, I’ve done things that are terrible. Horrible, horrible things, with verylittle by means of making up for it. Ask any one of the people in the room outthere, and they’ll tell you. I’m nothing but a monster.”

“I think you’re an absolute angel.”

You said it without even thinking about it, and whateverLoki had been in the process of saying or thinking didn’t matter, because theyjust stopped. Didn’t move, didn’tspeak, didn’t even seem to breathe. They just looked at you.

The silence in the room was almost deafening, and part ofyou wanted to think that you might have said the wrong thing, but a greaterpart of you knew that what you’d said was not a lie. You thought the world ofLoki, and you told them as much, once they’d had some time to process.

“Loki, you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met inmy life. You’ve been through so much.I’ve heard the stories. And yes, you’ve made mistakes, and perhaps some ofthose mistakes have had a body count, but… you’re trying to be better. You’retrying to do better. I know you are. Thor knows you are. And the others will catch on eventually, too,in time. But for now, I’ll pick up the slack. I’ll remind you that you’re doingbetter. I’ll bring you tea and sweets when you’re having a bad day. And I’ll keepcalling you pet names until you’re so used to them that you don’t freeze up outof confusion anymore. Whatever it takes for you to believe that you’re becominga good person, that’s just as worthy as love and affection and happiness as every other person in thiscompound. Okay?”

You hadn’t meant to say so much, but once you’d started, you’dfound yourself unable to stop, andnow that you’d finished, you just watched Loki, waiting for their response and hoping you hadn’t overstepped any boundaries.

After a long moment, they nodded to themself, seeing to cometo terms with what you’d said. “…I suppose I never considered things in thatmanner.”

You nodded, as well, offering a small smile when they lookedat you. “…it’s gonna be okay, you know? I know it really sucks right now, andeverything is new and strange and different. And counseling really, reallysucks at the beginning when you have to hash out all the things you neverwanted to revisit, but… it does get better. And I’ll be here to help. As longas you’ll have me.”

Loki took a slow, deep breath, like they were deciding whatthey wanted to say, but instead, they seemed to settle for nodding, and so youjust nodded, as well.

“….so tea?”

“I would appreciate it immensely, Y/N.”

You smiled and nodded, heading back to the door. “Sure,thing.” As you turned to leave, you couldn’t resist poking your head back in. “Angel.”

Loki just looked at you, almost as though they were embarrassed,and you just smiled softly.

Yes, you thought you and Loki were going to get on quitenicely, from here on out.

#Loki imagine #platonic Loki imagine #Loki #Loki Laufeyson #Loki Odinson #marvel #Loki x reader #platonic!Loki x reader #anonymous #ask #answered #thank you for the prompt #i hope you enjoy some good old loki whump

[thrndlngs]

@the-fandoms-georgie

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷     A CURSE, natasha romanoff.

pairing: natasha romanoff x gn!asgardian!reader. genre: drabble with HELLA ANGST. warnings: character death + endgame spoilers. a/n: set in endgame. this made me cry lol. hopefully you guys enjoy it. i took a different approach to this so, hopefully it’s still enjoyable! also, reader is the asgardian god/dess of war :p  inspo: poem + another love (slowed down) by tom odell.

                         12 HOURS PRIOR.

     "SO YOU’RE GOING BACK TO ASGARD, HUH?” natasha asked as she approached you, offering a peanut butter sandwich as she straddles your lap while taking a bite of her own peanut butter sandwich. you decline it, which only makes her shrug her shoulders and continue to take a bite out of both before snaking her arms around your neck.

   “you’re doing the thing again.” 

   “i’m not doing the thing again.”

   “yes you are! you’re doing the ‘i’m a big bad asgardian whose forming a strategic plan on how to conquer a planet’ face.” she teases, mimicking said facial expression as you roll your eyes (almost) half tempted to throw her onto the couch you were sitting on. you know, for dramatics. 

   “just worried that someone will spot us. you know, with thor and i’s status and the talking, uh,” you trail off, canting your head a bit as natasha corrects you with an infectious laugh. “a raccoon.”

   “yeah, a raccoon. i could only hope that everything goes according to plan and that we manage to retrieve the Aether.”

   “you’re a horrible liar.” 

   “gods do not lie.” 

   “there’s a first time for everything honey.” 

   it’s your turn to laugh now, hands resting at the small of her back as you take in a breath. leave it to natasha to see right through you. “it will be hard going back.” you can’t bring yourself to finish the sentence and natasha doesn’t force you. she only brings her hands to your face to trace soothing circles against your cheeks, offering that reassuring smile that had pulled you from some of your darkest times.

   “ — i know. i could only imagine what it would feel like going back home.” 

   you scoff, lips pursed as you look over her features, mirroring her smile. “you are.” 

   and she doesn’t understand it - not at first. you loved asgard. it was your home. in another lifetime though. you’ve grown to learn that asgard isn’t a place - asgard is it’s people, traditions - the will and strength to continue on in dire stances (kind of like now). but natasha, natasha was your home now. even if she wasn’t a place. she loved you inside and out. she didn’t see the god(dess) of war or the commander. she saw you, for you. the raw product of fighting battles that weren’t yours to begin with. 

   natasha saw you as someone who was forced a blade and told to fight. so maybe, the two of you are one in the same - just weapons to a cause. maybe that’s why she loved you. maybe that’s what attracted her to begin with, the ‘shared life experience’. she doesn’t know what it’s like being someone of your status - but she does know what it’s like to have your childhood stolen.

   and it hits her. you were referring to her. “i’m nothing compared to asgard.” her tone is a bit more serious now. 

   “you’re the liar now.” you tease, quickly stealing a kiss as natasha rolls her eyes. 

   “i’m serious. the way you talk about it—”

   “someone once told me that home is not a place. it’s where you feel safe and loved - it’s something you feel in here,” you poke at the place where her heart is, a childlike grin on your face as natasha rolls her eyes. again. if only the others could see how corny you truly were.

   and now it’s her turn to remain quiet, fingers trailing your tired features as the two of you sat there in silence. it isn’t until you pull at the ends of her hair that she finally says something to you (but it’s not directed at you, she’s just rambling at this point).

   “i’m not - i’m flattered but i can’t.. i just —”

   “baby,” you cut her off, taking your free hand and using it to turn her attention to you, offering her a soft smile as you laughed at her sudden ‘flustered’ expression. it’s amusing the effect you have on her - even after all these years. “you are my home. i feel safe when i’m with you. i am at my happiest when we are together. home is wherever i am with you. i love thor. i loved the king and queen. i loved asgard and my people, but it was never my home. asgard took everything from me and you, natasha, are the one who helped me see that i am more than what odin forced me to be.” 

                        4 HOURS PRIOR.

    “DON’T BE A HERO TWINKLETOES,” you warned, pointing an accusing finger in her direction as she holds up her hands in her defense as the two of you walked up to the platform. you let out a very audible sigh as natasha takes ahold of your hands and starts to make a very hushed sly comment on how the suit doesn’t do your hands justice. it makes you blush which prompts another comment on how natasha has more bragging points because she’s made the actual god(dess) of war blush.

   “love.”

   “lips are sealed honey,” natasha even ‘zips’ her lips and hands you the imaginary key, giving you a small wink.

   “try not to miss me too much, yeah?” you teased, brows raised as you tried to lighten the mood.

   “tell me about asgard when you get back?” natasha asked, taking a quick step to close the distance in between the two of you as you take a quick glance at thor and the ‘talking racoon’. you wonder if thor could handle it - in his current state, you think he might cry more than you would going back. 

   “natasha,” you begin, taking in a breath as you try to calm your emotions. do you tell her? do you not tell her? do you wait until all of this is over? do you do it now? your mind is working at the speed of light - it’s almost amusing how someone like you seems to get tongue twisted in a situation like this. you’re older now. much more wiser than you were in your last relationship. you’re a commander. a god(ddes) even. yet you couldn’t do something so simple as getting down on your knee? why hadn’t you done it before when it was the two of you? make it more.. intimate?

   “the suspense is killing me.” 

   “i love you,” it’s rushed and you’re laughing to mask the fear in your voice. “in this lifetime and the next.” 

   “don’t get all soft on me now,” she jokes, leaning in to press a kiss against your cheek. 

   “don’t take to long, remember, we have to check out the house in the mountains.” you remind her as she leans in for a kiss. 

   “until the sun grows cold, [yourname].” 

   “—and the stars grow old,” you finished, taking your place between her and steve, eyeing the both of them before turning your attention to the center of the room.

   “i’ll see you in a minute baby.”

                       2 HOURS PRIOR.

     “I WANTED TO GIVE HER the ring my mother put in basket, before she passed.” you tell your queen, a sigh leaving your parted lips as you hear both frigga and thor laugh at your sudden confession. you’re almost tempted to kick the back of her son’s knee, but, you settle for a small grunt instead, pursing your lips into a thin line.

   you loved natasha. and she loved you. not because you were some commander who’s led asgard into battle or worked as a council to odin. not because you’ve led asgard into victories or because men and women alike still pray to you before they go off into battle - 

   she loved you. the version of you that would walk the shorelines and keep a small jar of shells on your nightstand. the you that would tell her stories of all the universes you have traveled or of the stars you’ve slept under. the you that would take your time to braid her the way frigga would braid yours.

   “so why haven’t you?”

   “—you know why.” you answered. there’s a flicker of emotion in your eyes that frigga knows all too well, a gentle hand is placed against your cheek as you have to fight to not lean into. frigga wasn’t your mother - not biologically at least. but she’s watched you grow up. she’s watched you fight and tended to your wounds. she’s watched you fall apart and put yourself back together the day you lost a piece of yourself and went off again into battle. 

   you’ve spent your entire life fighting wars that weren’t yours. devoting lifetimes to a cause that you cared little for. you couldn’t remember the last time you had done something for yourself (the only reason you had came to earth to begin with, was to back up thor and retrieve loki). would it be wrong to do something for yourself for once? to live a life that wasn’t paved for you? to move on and let go of your previous lives?

   “you deserve more than what you’ve been given [your name]. please do not let your past keep you from spending the rest of your life they way you have chosen.”

   before you can respond - thor gives you a thumbs up, a way to tell you that he agrees with you. the two of you, were all that was left of your old home (besides valkyrie but, she hadn’t experienced what you and thor had) and you felt like you owed it to both frigga and odin to protect the only son they had left - 

   “the two of you will do great things. and i’m sure you have stories to tell me, but you are here to fix your future. not mine.” she tells you and thor, bringing the two of you in for one last embrace as you bury your face into her shoulder one last time. it’s bittersweet - she might not have been your mother by birthright but she was the closest thing you had to one. and it was painful to bid her goodbye again.

   “take care of each other. i love you. the both of you.”

                      2 HOURS AFTER.

     YOU’RE ENTIRE BODY IS NUMB. you’ve listened to thor’s plan on getting her back. you’ve listened to their cries and complaints - not once, not once had you spoken. you didn’t need to ask clint anything. you knew. you felt it. it felt like your heart had stopped beating - even if it was for just a few seconds. you knew. and there was no way you could bring her back. the guilt ridden archer had tried to approach you (as everyone else did) and you said nothing. your hands remained in your pockets as you looked out over the waters.

   asgard had fallen. half of the universe. loki. heimdall. frigga and odin. hela. and now natasha. you don’t think you’d ever love again - not the way you loved natasha. 

   “[your name],” he approaches with caution, hands held up in his defense as he tries to get a feel of what your current mood was. which is why he keeps his distance at first (and honestly he thinks you might conjure up a weapon and throw it at him) but you say nothing. you can’t find the right words to express the pain in your chest - 

   “whatever we need to do to get her back. we will do it. together. you have my word.” he tells you, taking a few more steps until he’s only a few centimeters in front of you now. and still, you say nothing. 

   “it’s different,” you managed to say, biting at the inside of your cheek as you avoid the blonde’s gaze. “it feels like - it feels like, a part of me is missing. almost as if i am no longer whole.” 

   and he knows better than to interrupt you, if this is your moment to release your grief - he’d be here. whether it be your punching bag, your shoulder to cry on or ear to listen. he would be there - just like you had been there for him all the times before.

   “i told her not to be the hero. i told her not to be the hero and she did it anyways - that’s my job. i’m the one who’s capable of healing. not her. she sacrificed herself knowing - knowing she wouldn’t come back.” you felt she was being selfish but deep down inside, you knew the reason why she had done it. and you would eventually come to terms with it but today was not that day. 

                    16 HOURS AFTER.

     “NATASHA WANTED ME TO GIVE—she wanted me to give this to you,” he chokes in the middle of his sentence, a closed fist is placed in your direction as wanda gives you a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder. you can’t manage to find the words not yet. you had spent the past day in a half trying to pick up whatever pieces of yourself remained. you knew you would outlive natasha - it’s a conversation that was very prominent in the relationship but never did you think it would be this soon.

   when the cool metal reaches your calloused palms, you could feel your heart being ripped from your chest. you laugh. not because the funeral or the situation is funny but because it’s ironic. ironic how the two of you had the same idea yet neither of you would get to  biting at the inside of you cheek as you reached in your pocket to take out the ring you were meant to give her. it’s ironic how the two of you both had the same idea - 

   “she said something. ‘with a love that shall not die—’”

   “’till the sun grows cold and the stars grow old,” you’re shaking your head now, raising the ring into the light to reveal the words: until the next, engraved in it. it’s a real tear-jerker - you aren’t sure what’s keeping you from doubling over and screaming to whatever listened that you needed to have her back. it wasn’t fair. why is it that the universe had to be so cruel to you once more? was the loss of your home? your people? your first love? had that not been enough? had you not suffered enough?

   but you couldn’t. you couldn’t bring yourself to cry. not anymore. “i guess this is my curse. maybe gods do not get happy endings.”

                    3 DAYS LATER.

     “WILL YOU BE JOINING ME?” asked thor as the two of you overlooked new asgard. thor, who had his arms behind his back, turns to you to take in your new look. his eyes trail to the necklace (wanda had gifted you a small chain to wear both of the rings you and natasha were meant to gift to each other). you keep your arms folded across your chest, taking in the view one last time before turning to the god, a sad smile evident on your tired face.

   “not this time i’m afraid your grace.” you replied, clearing your throat as you tried to find the right words to explain to him what lied ahead of you. “there’s a woman i must find. i sent my crows to aid the search but until then.. natasha and i were looking at a home, in the mountains, you know? we were going to get a dog and all that.” 

   “oh.” 

   “but i’m never too far. you know that.” 

   “i know. but it’s time we start forging our own fates isn’t it?” 

   you chuckle, leaning in to press a kiss against his forehead, a gesture that was very common in between the two of you. one that’s quickly followed by a bone crushing hug - 

   “be kind to yourself [your name]. i will be fine.”

   “and you to yourself as well. the crows will always watch over you thor.” 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ ⋆☾

TAG LIST,

@willowtree42095   ♡  @the-fandoms-georgie

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #black widow x reader #black widow x you #marvel x y/n #( i tried to portray this as best as i possibly could. #I THINK I CRIED A LITTLE BIT ADJHAJKDHA ) #( i'm sure yall can guess if yall seen BW who she's going to go see #wink wink #i might even??? write that interaction??? no idea yet?? ) #( natasha romanoff ) / * drabbles .