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#angsty harry styles
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A Surprise^**
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Hello friends, thank you so much for your patience. I ended up having quite a disastrous day and it took longer to finish editing! But here is the one shot based off of this request. Hope you like it!
Warnings: TW! abusive partner: mentions of love-bombing, gaslighting/accusations of infidelity, verbal arguments, intimidation tactics (psychological and physical), physical altercation between M/F ( described, but more intimidating than violent or aimed to hurt), physical altercation between M/M (not described but the aftermath is mentioned, bloody nosy type of thing), mentions of law enforcement and law enforcement processes. Mentions of sex, unprotected sex, oral (M/F receiving), fingering, unplanned pregnancy, ultrasound procedure.
WC: 18.2K
You were nervous as you rode up in the elevator. You weren’t claustrophobic or anything, so the feeling of it closing in on you was one you had no idea how to deal with. You were trying to keep your breathing as calm as possible and clearing your head of any irrational or negative thoughts, but it was truly a challenge. It had been a nearly a year since you and Harry had been in any space together and it was nerve-racking. What was originally supposed to be a month or two-long break, turned into all this time and distance. He said he wanted to talk and get some closure, which you thought was bull shit, and that’s why you were so nervous.
Before “the break” you and Harry had been dating for four years. Things had been going really well up until he started getting antsy to work again. You’d moved to London for him and now that he was finally “off” you saw that he was jumping into the next thing he could. You understood that he felt like he needed to do something with his time but soon enough he was back in the studio for hours at a time while you just hung out at his house. You lasted a year like that before you told him that you couldn’t do it anymore. You felt lonely in your relationship with him and you saw that he wasn’t ready to slow down and settle a bit like he said he was before. That was the whole reason why you’d even moved to London for him. So when you suggested a little time apart to have him sort through his priorities he freaked out on you. But the following morning the tune was different, he was more open to this idea of taking some time apart.
You had assured him over and over again that you loved him but that you were ready for the next step and he clearly wasn’t. He then assured you that you were the love of his life and that he’d take a month or two to just tie up all the loose strings with his current project and then focus back on your relationship. You even went back home to LA to give him all the space he needed. You checked in with each other a lot but when the two months were up you reached out and didn’t get a response back until two weeks later. Much to your dismay it was just an “I’m sorry.” And with tears in your eyes you just deleted the entire messaging feed you had with him.
A few months later you were back on the dating scene. One of your co-workers set you up with her cousin, Steven. He came off as sweet, smart, and mature. He mostly had his shit together from what she’d said and you had seen, so you gave him a real chance. Yeah, he was no Harry, but no one would ever equate to Harry, so you stopped comparing and got to know him for who he was. Soon enough you’d started to develop more feelings for Steven, he showered you in attention and time and affection, it was almost too much, you thought. But then you recalled that things had been so cold with Harry towards the end that maybe you just weren’t used it anymore. It wasn’t love-bombing, it was just a man who is interested in showing you what you meant to him. After two months of seeing him casually you started talking about the future, about starting a real, committed relationship. You talked about properly meeting each other’s families and taking serious steps forward, you were gearing up to properly move on with someone who clearly prioritized you! And then Harry called. 
He was jealous, you heard it in his voice when he called, but the fact that he was jealous pleased you in a way. Honestly, you thought you’d be so well off that when you spoke to him you’d feel above him somehow, but when you heard his voice your heart ached with longing and your small victory suddenly made you feel a bit sadistic. He then asked to see you to get some closure and you quickly agreed because you needed it too. But that’s how you ended up at his hotel just an hour later. So far you were just standing there at his hotel door just taking each other in. Quite frankly, you were just pleased you had made it out of the elevator alive. But it felt like it’d been ages and no time at all at the same time, your heart was racing in the confines of your chest, making it hard to breathe once again. It made you so happy, but hurt your heart at the same time to see him. It was so confusing, feeling relief and joy and disappointment all at the same time. 
“You look great.” He complimented you after a few moments of staring.
“Oh! Thanks.” You smiled timidly, “H-how are you?”
“I’m alright. Come on in.” He said moving aside and you wandered in. You sat at the couch in his suite as he headed to the kitchenette.
“Can I offer you some water or tea?” He asked.
“No, I’m alright.” You assured and he nodded before coming over to sit near you on the couch. You sat in silence for a few moments again before he chuckled in slight disbelief and shook his head.
“I can’t believe you’re actually here.” He confessed with a shake of his head.
“Me either.” You chuckled a bit humorlessly. He had wronged you…the only thing that you knew about him right now was that he did not love you as much as he said he did. If he did he wouldn’t have left you hanging like he had. “I guess I just…needed to see you one more time. I don’t think that we left off on a good note so-”
“Exactly. That’s why I wanted to see you.” He said leaning forward and taking your hand and your facade of stoicism and ease melted away immediately. The hurt from his actions just came to the surface and made a pang of pain ripple from your chest all the way out to your fingertips, you swore even your scalp hurt as his eyes met yours apologetically.
“Harry, it’s almost been a year.” You pointed out and he frowned.
“I know, love.” He confirmed, “And I haven’t even tried t-to apologize since that text I sent you.” He said and your eyes started welling up. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just…I got scared that if I took that step forward with you it meant that my work was gone.” He explained and you scoffed.
“Harry, no! When I asked you to slow down that’s all I meant. Slow down, not stop! I’d never tell you to stop.” You sighed, exasperated and upset that he even thought that you’d ever make him stop doing what he loved most, “I just wanted you to slow down a little and enjoy your life for yourself. Spend time with your mom and your sister and your cousins and nieces and nephews!” You vented, “W-with me.” You added towards the end and he nodded in understanding. “What you do with your work matters to me. I see how happy it makes you. And I don’t think I’ve ever done anything to make you feel like you couldn’t be honest with me about your priorities.” You said and he shook his head.
“You didn’t. I should’ve talked to you about it all, Y/N. I know I fucked up, big time, but I love you and-”
“No you don’t…” you interrupted with a scoff as you pulled your hand away from his, “You’re just jealous because I’m ready to move on with someone else now.” You said to him and he glanced up at the ceiling and smiled sadly.
“Yeah, of course I’m fucking jealous!” he confessed through a pained, breathy laugh, “And I still love you and whether you believe it or not because of my previous actions, I respect you and you deserve an apology. That’s why I wanted to see you.” He explained as his eyes met yours again, “I know that I’ve lost you, Y/N.” He said sadly, “Believe me, I didn’t come to try and talk you out of that decision. I just wanted to tell you, in person, that I love you with my whole heart. I should’ve fought for you. You showed me so much love and gave me all of your care and support all the time! I shouldn’t have been scared t-to talk about it. I shouldn’t have let you go.” He explained, “I’m going to have to live with that for the rest of my life, Y/N. I know that.” He sniffled and you wiped your tears carefully. “I just needed you to know that it’s not anything you did. I love you, even still, I think I’ll die loving you.” He said.
“Jesus, Harry…” you inhaled sharply before standing up quickly. You grabbed your purse from the coffee table and started rushing back to the door.
“Baby! Baby, baby, baby-” he rushed in front of you blocking the door, “J-just wait.” He sniffled, he looked panicked.
“Why should I?” You questioned him, “Why now?” You asked for clarity and he swallowed thickly, “You had this whole fucking time and now that I’m just about t-to forget about you, y-you show up and…” you trailed off as your anger boiled over and your tears started to trickle down your face more heavily.
“Y/N, I’m sorry-” He started.
“Y-you better not be trying to manipulate me!” You warned, your voice raised in accusation and he shook his head.
“I know it might seem that way b-but I’m not, love. I’m not looking for anything from you, I know I don’t deserve it. I just needed t-to see you and apologize to you and tell you how I feel before you wouldn’t entertain the idea of me in your presence ever again. And I know you probably hate me so much right now-” He explained and you inhaled sharply with a disappointed shake of your head.
“That’s the stupidest fucking part of this whole thing! I-” you stopped and shook your head, “I felt so happy when I heard from you.” You confessed, “And I still have so much love for you.” You sniffled and felt sick to your stomach just admitting it. You felt like an idiot for it.
You had gone over a very similar scenario in your head if not millions of times before while daydreaming or lying in bed. You dreamed of him coming back and apologizing and you having the strength to not come crawling back to him after whatever excuse he gave. Except you’d gotten it wrong. Harry wasn’t standing before you asking you to come back to him with an underlying arrogance that came with knowing that your love was enough to have you come back to him. He was actually just coming to be accountable for his mistakes and to apologize to you for hurting you. He came with humility and sincere repentance for his errors, no ulterior motives. And well, you weren’t nearly as strong as you thought you’d be by now.
“Oh, baby…” he sighed, “I don’t deserve it.” He recognized, “And I know that you’re happy.”
“I am.” You sniffled.
“I’m sorry if I made you feel confused, I really didn’t want that. I really just wanted to make things as right as I could after all this time.”
“Thank you.” You responded and he gave you one firm nod. “I think I should go.” You said and he glanced into your eyes and just waited for a moment and when you didn’t waiver he exhaled and moved out of your way to let you leave.
You reached for the door and opened it up before stepping out into the hall, pulling it shut behind you as you cried quietly as you walked back to the elevator, what seemed like a trap before now felt like your much needed escape. You were just about to step inside when you glanced back down the hallway at his door, questioning if you’d been too harsh. After all, you did miss him and you still loved him…you’d definitely regret not giving him a hug goodbye or even just confirming to him that you forgave him. So with all the strength you had, you ignored that pull to return to him and got inside and left. It was time to move on.
****************
You’d been quiet and in your head all afternoon. Internalizing everything you were feeling was weird because you were never one to just let things brew in silence. You had to talk about it and your best friend was back in the UK and she had an important work thing in the morning so you couldn’t interrupt and you just wanted to talk to someone who would be 100% real with you. You decided to just distract yourself until stopped by for dinner, surely his company would provide an adequate distraction.
But even when Steven arrived you found yourself ruminating on how awkwardly you’d left Harry. You certainly got what you needed but you were out of there so fast that you had no idea if he got the closure he needed from you and now you felt bad! That’s what you were thinking about, but your silent and pensive demeanor had Steven feeling iced out which he did not like. So after sitting in your little living room on his phone for half an hour in complete silence as his football game droned on, on the TV he figured he’d just ask you.
“Babe, are you upset at me?” He finally asked as he came into the kitchen. You were just grating some carrots into the salad you were making for dinner.
“No.” You assured him with a small smile as you glanced up at him briefly.
“Well, you’ve been oddly quiet since I got here. More than half the time I’m wishing you’d just shut up for five minutes but I don’t know anymore…it’s weird.” He joked, trying to make light of the situation. But upon hearing that your brows pinched in confusion and offense at his “joke”.
“That’s quite rude and not funny at all. I heard you turn on the game and you don’t like it when I talk to you when you’r watching so I just stayed quiet.” You mumbled a bit spitefully before going back to grating and he came closer and placed a hand on your hip.
“Damn, you’re so sensitive, it was a joke.” He said mawkishly and your irritation continued blooming so you refused to look at him, “Y/N, you’re clearly in your head about something and now you’re taking it out on me.” He said and you sighed.
“I’m not taking anything out on you, Steven. I’m just thinking some stuff through.” You shared with him.
“Stuff like…?” He pressed.
“Like…my ex, Harry.” You said and he straightened up at the mention of Harry’s name.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asked with a sardonic smile and you put down the carrot and glanced up at him.
“You asked.” You emphasized and he huffed out a sarcastic laugh, “I’m not done, so listen up because it’s good news for you.” You said and he clenched his jaw and nodded, “Well he’s in town and he asked to see me so we could talk,” You explained and Steven’s expression twisted into a disconcerting look, “so earlier I met up with him and we talked-”
“Wait.” He cut you off, “Why the hell would you think to go see your ex?” He asked you, fully offended over what you’d done this afternoon.
“I went to get closure! And well, considering we’ve been talking about starting a relationship in the near future it’s good for us that I just close that door for good.” You explained and he shook his head.
“And you didn’t think to tell me about this before you went there?”
“It happened so fast and I know you were meeting clients all day so I-”
“You should have at least asked if I was fine with you doing that!” He groaned with frustration and you frowned.
“Like…ask you for permission?” You asked and he shook his head.
“Don’t put words in my mouth, Y/N.” He snapped quickly.
“I’m not, I was asking for clarification. You said I should’ve asked if it was alright with you before going. Is that not asking for permission?” You asked and he sighed.
“Look, not permission but like…at least consider me! Like, have me be there so he doesn’t get any ideas.” He said and you looked at him like he was completely delusional.
“W-what?!” You asked in disbelief, “Why would I invite you into a conversation with me and my ex about our old relationship?” You questioned.
“Because, I need to make sure nothing weird is going on! And if you didn’t want me there, which you clearly didn’t, then you should’ve asked if I was cool with you going to meet him all alone! It makes me uncomfortable to think of you two alone.” He said and you were complete confused at his logic.
“And what if you said that no, I couldn’t go?” You asked.
“I would’ve said no and you would’ve not gone.” He rebutted confidently and you were in total shock, “You have no business talking to him again, Y/N.” He added and you sighed and shook your head in exasperation.
“I wanted answers and an apology, Steven. I am owed at least that! And he took responsibility. He was able to give that to me.” You said and he scoffed.
“You’re…you’re so fucking naive.” He said and you looked at him in confusion, “It’s a test. He was testing you! Testing you to see if you’re still loyal to him. Testing to see if he still has power over you! And guess what? By going there all alone the moment he called you up, you confirmed that for him. You confirmed that he still owns you!” He was speaking to you in the most belittling way. You felt your rage flaring up inside of you.
“What are you even saying?!” You scoffed in disbelief, “It was just a conversation! I was in and out of there in less than 10 minutes!” You laughed incredulously.
“10 minutes? Really? That alone fucked you up so much you couldn’t talk to me?” He asked with a sardonic look on his face and you rolled your eyes, “See now, I’m not so sure that something else didn’t happen between you two.” He soft-launched his accusation and you scoffed.
“Nothing happened! I’m telling you that he said what he needed to say and I just left!” You explained, “I’m just thinking on it because I don’t feel right about just having left like that.” You explained, “It was awkward, the way I handled it. I didn’t even ask him if he had any questions for me or anything else to say, I was selfish. I just got the apology I needed and that was that.” You said a bit sadly and his jaw clenched for a second before biting down on the inside of his cheek.
“You promise that was it?” He asked you after a few moments of silence.
“I promise! Literally we just talked.” You reiterated and he nodded.
“Fine. I’m sorry.” He said grumpily, like a child who is dying inside because they had to apologize. You imagined he was feeling a bit ashamed or even embarrassed for jumping to conclusions like that and being so off the mark. So you walked up to him and hugged him tight as you rested your head against his chest. You relaxed in his arms and smiled when you felt his hand grab your jaw and angle up your face. Your eyes met for a few tense seconds, you were preparing for him to ardently kiss you but suddenly his hand fell from your jaw and grabbed around your throat, right beneath your jaw. Your eyes widened in fear as his grip got a bit tighter by the second. His eyes were dark as he stared into yours.
“S-steven.” You gasped in concern as you started to run out of oxygen. You tried to wiggle out of his grip, eyes watery and full of fear as your nails dug into his wrist hoping to startle him out of whatever possessed him to do this.
“I don’t want you talking to or seeing him again. Never again. Do you understand me?” He demanded and you felt your entire body just turn cold. You had no idea how to even react to this change in Steven’s demeanor so you just nodded. “You’re going to be mine soon and I need to know that I can trust you fully.” He said “I want to trust you. But can I? Can I trust you to stay away from him?” he asked and you nodded again, you’d do anything to get out of this situation, “Then say it. Swear to me.” He insisted darkly as he loosened his grip around you.
“I-I’ll never talk to him or see him again.” You whispered, “I swear.” You insisted with tearful eyes and he let you go before walking out of the kitchen silently. 
You grabbed onto the counter because your legs unexpectedly lost their strength. You were panting, struggling so hard to breathe as this entire interaction processed in your brain. You suddenly felt extremely nauseated as a wave of fear overcame you. You trembled wordlessly for a bit, feeling so devastatingly mortal. You’d never had such little power. You’d never felt so small. After a short, uncomfortable, and contemplative moment you grabbed the carrot you had been working on and got back to grating. You just had to take deep breaths and grate.
You were walking on egg shells for the remainder of the night, doing anything and everything to act as normal as possible and not bait him into another aggression. Meanwhile, he was genuinely chatting with you so casually, as if he hadn’t just grabbed you by the throat like that. It terrified you that he wasn’t acting, he was genuinely fine. You were questioning yourself now, wondering if there were signs you missed? Granted, you were now getting into more serious turf, but there was nothing that you’d seen before that indicated towards him ever behaving this way. Even as you lay in bed attempting to get some rest you just stared at your ceiling thinking about that moment. How dark his eyes looked…did you need to tell someone? It’s not like he’d actually hurt you…or threatened you…he just made you promise to stay away from Harry. There wasn’t even a mark on you. Who would believe you or what could you even do about it?
He sweetened up intensely after that though and it had your mind reeling. Even when you’d had sex earlier he had been so possessive. Normally, any type of sensual talk got you going but when he told you he was “going to make you his” as he finished it didn’t have the usual or intended effect, it made you feel uneasy and made you regret having slept with him after what had happened earlier on. You immediately hopped into the shower because you just needed to wash off the memory of him of on you. You held in your tears because you thought he would join you but he just called out a goodbye after some minutes. But even in your solitude you were practically frozen and emotionless. You’d never experienced him like that and it worried you, so you decided to talk to your friend about it.
*****************
You were nervous to talk to Marie about this because she was also his cousin, but you just needed to know if there was a history to Steven that you didn’t know yet. Maybe he’d done something like this before, just got aggressive and overly possessive with another partner? Or perhaps he’d been cheated on and severely overreacted because of his past hurt? But Marie’s sort of distant demeanor should’ve tipped you off that things were not going to be good with this conversation.
“Thanks for meeting me. I actually wanted t-to talk to you about something important.” You said as soon as the waiter left after bringing your drinks. “Something that happened w-with Steven.” You said and she pulled away from her straw.
“Look, you don’t need to tell me what happened, Y/N.” She interjected, “Steven already told me.” She said flatly and for a second her anger seemed just. You were glad she was angry at him for you. “And look I love you and you’re my friend, but quite frankly, I can’t believe you’d go and hook up with Harry after how good Steven has been to you.” She said and your jaw dropped in shock.
“W-wait what?” You asked incredulously.
“Don’t do that with me, Y/N. I know how weak you are for Harry.” She said and you shook your head, “I mean…I did warn Steven early on t-to be careful and take his time with you because you’d probably cave and run back to Harry.” She said and you frowned, “But after all this time? I mean Jesus, Y/N! The man pretended like you didn’t exist for almost a year! How little self respect do you have t-to allow him back in after everything?!” She questioned you with disappointment and a harsh judgement.
“Is that really what you think of me?” You asked her and she sighed.
“Look, I’m sorry for being so harsh but I love you and I’m angry at you for cheating on my cousin. He’s a good guy!” She defended her stance and you shook your head.
“I didn’t cheat on your cousin. We’re not even in an official or exclusive relationship so even if I had fooled around with Harry he has nothing to be upset over! He’s the one who hasn’t wanted to be exclusive yet!” You corrected and Marie smiled incredulously down at her drink, “You don’t have to believe me about Harry if you don’t want but believe this, Steven? He’s not a good guy.” You said and she looked up at you again fully offended.
“Y/N, look-”
“No, listen to me. I just need you t-to hear me out. Last night he…h-he grabbed me really hard by the throat and made me swear I would never talk to or see Harry again. He terrified me.” You confessed and her eyes didn’t even soften up, “I came t-to ask if maybe I’d struck a nerve by mistake, looking to justify how he behaved towards me but the fact that he got to you first and lied about what happened…that just confirmed to me that I want nothing to do with him. He’s a ticking time bomb and I refuse to be collateral damage.” You said as you stood from your seat.
“How dare you.” She said and stood as well and you shook your head. “You can’t just go around throwing accusations about someone like that! Especially about this sort of thing! It could ruin him, Y/N!” She said with a quiet and calculated rage.
“Believe what you want, but I want nothing to do with either of you ever again.” You said to her and walked off. When you sat in your car you were trembling with rage, you could not believe the last 24 hours of your life. You were just collecting yourself before taking off, you didn’t want to get on the road with that much anger flowing through your veins. You jumped in surprise when your phone started ringing loudly from your purse and you groaned and reached for it and when you saw Harry’s name on the screen you just felt a wave of comfort and then it turned into fear. You knew Steven wasn’t here but you couldn’t help but glance around your immediate surroundings before answering the call.
“Hello?” You spoke into the receiver tentatively.
“Y/N, I ummm, I need you to come down to my hotel right away if you can.” He said to you and you felt your stomach drop.
“W-why?” You asked him nervously.
“Your boyfriend broke into my suite and tried to attack me.” He said and you gasped. “Are you alright?” You asked instantly.
“Yeah, thankfully. But now h-he’s telling the officers that you put him up to this.” He said lowly, “Just come and we’ll sort this out.” He assured.
“Okay, I’ll be there soon.” You said and took off despite your heightened emotions.
Just before you arrived to Harry’s suite you saw a pair of officers guide Steven away down the hall in hand cuffs. He had a bandage over his nose and a busted lip. He barely held eye contact with you as they pulled him along. You rushed down the hall and hurried into the open suite more than relieved to see a paramedic only icing Harry’s hand while he talked to one of the officers looming over him.
“Oh my god, I’m glad you’re okay!” You exclaimed in relief and he stood right away and hugged you tight as you leaned into him and that’s when all of your emotions from even the night before caught up with you and you started to cry. 
“Hey, hey, hey, it’s alright. I’m alright.” He assured you lowly.
“Yeah, but sometimes you minimize things to not worry anyone so…” you reminded and he chuckled a little as you pulled back, “I’m so sorry about this, H. Sincerely. Genuinely! I-I can’t believe he went as far as pulling something like this.” You expressed, still quite flabbergasted at what had gone down. Harry rubbed over your back in comforting circles.
“It’s alright. I’m alright.” He assured you, “He’s worse off than I am.” He smirked a bit as he delivered this news.
“Oh, I saw.” You chuckled through your tears and he hummed. “You’re not gonna get into any trouble, are you?” You asked.
“No, love.” He assured you, “I acted in self-defense so we’re all clear there. He did give me a good scare though.” He said more seriously and you sighed. 
“This never should have happened…I just don’t get it where this came from? I swear, this is not at all like him! I’ve never seen him behave this way in the couple months we’ve been seeing each other. Even last night was just so out of character for how he’s always been towards me! And I’m not trying to make excuses for him. Clearly this is fucked-”
“Wait. What happened last night?” Harry asked you more seriously and you sighed and shook your head.
“Nothing, really.” You said to him and he gave you a look, not a scary one, just an insistent one. You sighed and shrugged, “Last night when I…when I told him we met up to talk and get closure he got really angry at me. Like, he was livid. It was truly an overreaction to me mentioning that I was really happy over having received that apology from you but that I felt like I had been awkward about it and left it weird with us.” You explained, “Then, he asked why I didn’t ask for permission t-to talk to you or see you or why I didn’t ask him to come with me? And I explained that I agreed to meet with you so that we could clear the air so that I could move on with him in peace and he accused me of fooling around with you.” You explained monotonously as you felt like you were there all over again, “I assured him we just talked and he then pretended like it was fine and apologized half-heartedly… and I went in to hug him but then it’s like a switch flipped.” You recounted what had happened, “I thought he was going t-to kiss me but he…” your voice faded out into an exhale, “H-he grabbed me so hard by the throat and made me swear that I wouldn’t see o-or talk to you ever again-”
“Miss?” One of the officers interrupted and you turned towards the officer as Harry released you just a bit. 
“Yes?” You asked softly.
“Can you elaborate more on this altercation?” He asked and you swallowed thickly.
“I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.” You said softly, eyes now laser focused on Harry’s dangling pendant as your vision started to blur with more building tears. You were scared more than worried about getting Steven into any more trouble and Harry could see that. “Love, look at me.” Harry insisted and you blinked rapidly as one of your tears trickled down your cheek before you looked up at him, “If he did anything to scare you, you need to report it.” He said, “He’s fucked as it is for this, he can’t do anything to you ever again. He won’t.” Harry assured you and you nodded.
You proceeded to explain what had happened and how he had grabbed you. You explained that you felt intimidated and frozen and unsure of what to do next after the altercation. You were asked why you didn’t call the police or make a report and you explained that you didn’t think there was anything to report. He hadn’t technically hit you or injured you. You had no visible marks on you or anything to prove this apart from the fear you’d been harboring ever since. But the officer informed you that even a forceful grab is considered assault in the sate of California. And that speaking to you that way, exerting any tactics to make you feel subdued or intimidated were also considered acts of aggression and intimidation that were reportable offenses. And after a few more questions and you assuring them that he had never done anything like this to you before they moved back to the situation with Harry. With police reports filed they went on their way and you offered to get Harry a new place to spend the rest of his trip.
**************
It was just a few hours later and you were sitting in your living room waiting for Harry to come out of the shower and for his lawyer to arrive. You felt awful for this whole thing with Steven, you really had no idea he was a psycho like this. Marie had actually tried calling you almost 20 times and had sent you about 15 texts asking you to call back and that she was sorry for not believing you earlier. You were still too angry at her to respond so you put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” and just focused on the TV and wondered if it was a good idea to have brought Harry to your home. You had found another place for him to stay but before you booked it he asked if it would be alright to use your guest room because he was concerned for your safety since Steven knew where you lived. 
His concerns were valid. And you knew that Steven was well connected and had several lawyer friends who you were sure could get him out on bail by the morning, so you agreed to let him stay. You just didn’t want to also put Harry in harm’s way again. You would never forgive yourself if Steven did anything to hurt him. All in all, none of this felt real, you felt like you were in an unhinged daytime soap episode just waiting for another tragedy to befall you and those in your life. You were so on edge that you flinched in fright when the doorbell rang. Once the shiver passed through your body you hurried over to see through the peephole and saw Harry’s lawyer waiting there.
“Hi Darius.” You greeted him with a smile and he smiled back upon seeing you as well. It’d been quite a while.
“Y/N! Wow!” He chuckled, “It’s so great to see you!” He greeted you happily as you led him inside.
“Likewise! I think Harry’s just finishing up his shower, he had quite the day.” You said as you locked up behind him and he sighed.
“Yeah. I’m so sorry to hear about that. But I’m glad he’s safe and that you’re also safe.” He assured you and you thanked him before guiding him over to the kitchen and allowing him to get set up while you went to grab the Coca-cola he’d requested. 
It was just a couple of minutes before Harry joined you two and caught up a bit with Darius before he got into the story of what happened. Harry was going to follow through on pressing charges and he was even more motivated to get it all done ASAP when he heard what Steven had done to you the night before. He wanted to give Darius his statement as well while it was fresh in his memory so that it matched up perfectly to what he’d told the police and so he started answering the questions while Darius recorded and took notes as well. But hearing it in detail for yourself made it all the more sinister for you. You weren’t even thinking about it all that deeply when you reached for Harry’s hand under the table and he paused and briefly looked at you.
“Sorry.” You mouthed and started to pull it away from him but he instead tangled your fingers together and kept talking.
You stayed at his side for the rest of the time until Darius left, assuring you both that he’d let you know as soon as any headway was made in this case. With a final farewell you were locking up behind him as Harry waited for you just a small distance away. You sighed and turned to him.
“I’m so, so sorry about this, Harry. If I had know that he would do something like this… I mean, I just shouldn’t have said anything to him about you or-”
“Hey, it’s not your fault. How were you supposed to know, love?” He asked as he grabbed your face gently, right under your jaw and you swallowed thickly and he quickly slid his hands down to your shoulders. “Shit, I’m sorry. I forgot.” He said and you shook your head.
“It’s alright. It’s still fresh.” You reminded and he sighed and shook his head.
“I’m sorry…if I had just come back to you when I was supposed to we wouldn’t be in this mess.” He said and you sighed.
“You weren’t happy though, I mean…you preferred to be alone all this time instead of back with me so…it was the right thing for you at the time.” You said to him.
“You forgive me though, right? For not…” he trailed off and you nodded.
“Yeah, H.” You assured him and he pecked your lips quickly.
“Thank you.” He said quietly.
“Of course.” You whispered back. Your lips still tingling from his quick kiss. 
“Sorry, I just needed to kiss you.” He said and you smiled slightly.
“I get it.” You assured him. “D-do you want to…sleep with me?” You asked with a little bit of hesitation.
“Yeah, love.” He said without a hint of a doubt, “Of course. I’m a bit shaken up myself.” He said and you nodded.
“C’mon then.” You said and grabbed his hand and guided him to your bedroom. You guys washed up and then cuddled into your bed. 
You faced each other silently, just looking at each other, taking each other in. You were telling each other you had missed each other with your shared, longing gaze, but you refused to touch. You both loved the static and electric feeling buzzing between your bodies far too much. It was masochism in its purest form. It hurt to be apart, you missed his vibe. His energy. His presence…Harry was a warm, little ball of light, even on his dark days. He was the kindest, most thoughtful person you’d been is fortunate to encounter. He was so hard on himself also, and you knew he was angry at himself right now. You didn’t want him to be though, you wanted him to be here with you and enjoying this reunion, however unfortunate the situation was that led to it. 
The amount of love you felt for him was impossible. As you laid in silence you smiled because you had truly missed the sound of his breathing. You inhaled his exhales, feeling more than grateful to be within his reach. You wanted to feel him on you, skin to skin. You shivered as you felt this intense love just surge through you.
“Harry?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.” You said softly and sincerely. His eyes glanced down, averting from your gaze as he smiled in disbelief. “I mean it.” 
“Even after all this time?” He asked, “After everything I’ve done?”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t hurt by you.” You smiled and he chuckled, “But yeah, I still love you despite those things.”
“Enough to give me another chance?” He asked.
“I…I mean, yeah.” You chuckled nervously. “And I don’t know i-if I’m a complete fool for that?! But I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, baby. More so lately…” he said and you hummed.
“Why’s that?” You asked.
“Umm…I was cleaning out your side of things. Like to send ‘em back to you and I just…I found this little box in the corner on your side of the closet-”
“The memory box!” You exclaimed, remembering its existence.
“Yeah…I just got to see all of the wonderful things we’ve shared together. How you’ve been there for absolutely everything. You’ve never let me down.” He said softly, “And I just…felt like a total fool for dismissing that. Nothing feels the same without you, you’re the thing that just…tied everything together, you know? You made my heart feel…whole.” He explained, “When I say that I miss you that’s what I mean. I’ve been incomplete without you around, Y/N. I’ve been missing you from everything. I’m so sorry that I waited until I almost lost you to reach out to you…” he whispered with shame. You frowned and reached for his cheek
“Everything happens for a reason, honey.” You whispered, “I mean, I’m glad you came along at this time because you saved me from a potentially dangerous situation.” You said more solemnly.
“I’m glad I was here for this. May-maybe this is a…sign of sorts for you to come back home with me.” He said a bit carefully. 
Harry was nervous to bring this up to you but he really just didn’t want you staying anywhere near this man. He wanted to be certain that he could keep you safe, that he could protect you and ensure that you were never so easily in harm’s way again.  And on top of that, his love for you continued simmering lowly in the background, it had never gone out. He just fled out of fear and he regretted it so much. He had been selfish and didn’t realize it until far too late. It filled him with gratitude that you’d even hear him out for an apology, let alone give him another chance. A chance that he may have blown with this suggestion he’d just put out there.
“Ummm…I…I’m not sure w-what to say to that.” You responded honestly, “Like, my first instinct is to say yes.” You chuckled nervously and while he was relieved to hear that, he held off his excitement to hear what would come next, “But like you’ve acknowledged a couple times already, we’ve been apart for a while and I think we both hurt each other to some extent and I worry that…in jumping right back into where we left things off that we’ll forget about all of the issues that led to us breaking down instead of working through them.” You said and he hummed.
“Yeah, that’s extremely valid.” He responded, “And I guess I want this right now mainly because I don’t want you here all alone.” He explained, “I realize we have things to work through before we can get to where we were before all this. And I’m so willing to put in the work with you to get to that stage again. But right now I just want to ensure that you’re safe and far away from that prick, Steven. That’s my main concern as of now, baby.”
“Well thank you for worrying about me. I would love to leave with you but I don’t think it’d be a smart move.” You sighed.
“Even just for a few weeks until things cool off a bit? I can set you up somewhere else even.” He said and you bit your lip pensively.
“I’ll think about it.” You responded.
“Okay, that’s…that’s enough for me.” He whispered back.
***********************
It  was a couple weeks later when Steven finally showed up at your place. Obviously you had the locks changed, so his key didn’t work, which really angered him. And when you heard him shouting at you and pounding on the door, threatening to break in if you didn’t allow him in, you immediately called the cops as you had a restraining order filed against him. You also recorded everything this time as you tried to calmly coax him into leaving before they showed up. He was angry that Harry was pressing charges against him and he wanted you to talk him out of it. You knew better than to say anything about Harry’s case, so instead you asked Steven how he even got access to Harry’s location. Up until this point it was all speculation, you just assumed he grabbed the information off of your phone, that really was the only way. But there was no proof yet that this was a premeditated aggression on Steven’s end. So when he confessed to you that he searched for the information on your phone you were relieved and would submit that as further evidence to get a more strict order against him.
He refused to leave and the longer you didn’t let him in the angrier he got and even broke a window. Thankfully, the police were just arriving when this happened and they submitted an Emergency Protective Order, this was far more strict than the restraining order but that was really all they could do. You really didn’t feel safe anymore so the next morning you contacted your landlord and explained to her what had happened and let her know that you’d have to terminate your lease early for your safety. She was kind and didn’t make you pay the extra fee or even make you finish out a whole month, she just hoped you’d fine somewhere else soon. 
You contacted Harry and of course, he said you could stay with him for a little bit. You felt stupid for not just doing that to begin with like he had suggested. But the reality was that he had also hurt you and let you down and you were worried about what moving in together again so soon would do to impact your future. But for the time being this felt like the safest choice. Steven knew your friends and co-workers in the area thanks to Marie, so there was no one you could go to in LA that you felt he wouldn’t think of. It pained you to quit your job and pack up your life and go, but you needed to. Of course, Harry welcomed you with open arms and you were grateful to know that you were a whole continent and ocean away from LA right now. 
*****************
It had been three weeks of you living with Harry and things had been going well so far. You felt drained though, like completely fatigued from everything, you often felt this way when you were anxious or depressed so you prioritized reconnecting with your therapist from before right away. You were seeing her every week so far and were eager to see and feel the results of doing this deep and healing work after what had happened to you and Harry in LA. You also reconnected with a few friends and they were helping you network a bit to find a job. Harry assured you that he was more than capable to take care of you but you didn’t feel comfortable with that, especially since your romantic future together was still a bit up in the air.
You two were doing well, you were reconnecting as friends more than anything right now. Living with him was comfortable though, you had lived together before though, so you knew how to exist in the same space together. You soon noticed that just being in a situation that was familiar to you both was making you both more affectionate towards each other though, which you both had been working hard to keep at bay. Of course, the feelings were there, but having those little things that reminded you, you weren’t alone made you smile, like now…
“Baby, I’m home! Are you here?” Harry called as he came into the house.
“Yeah, I’m in the laundry room!” You called back over the rumble of the washing machine as you folded your laundry. Moments later he was coming into the small, warm room with a smile on his face.
“Hi, love! How was it today?” He asked as he came up to you and hugged you.
“It was good. I met with Poppy and her friend, Sheila, she’s the one who just started up her own tanner line or something and needs an accountant? She’s interested, so I’m meeting with her and her partner again her next week when she’s back from her vacation to see about the position.” You shared.
“That’s really good. Hopefully it pans out.”
“I hope so too.” You said as you dropped the t-shirt you were working on in the basket with folded laundry so that you could interlace your fingers as you clung to him.
“And like I said before though, no rush, okay? You’re doing plenty to help out here. And after everything else you’ve been through, taking it slow can’t hurt.” He added.
“Thank you. I really do appreciate that, H.” You smiled.
“Of course, love.” He hummed. You pulled back slowly and looked into each other’s eyes. “I’m really happy you’re here.” He reassured you.
“Thank you, baby.” You whispered.
“Baby?” He asked with a grin and you rolled your eyes and sighed.
“Well, I mean…you call me that, so…”
“It feels right, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah.” You agreed with a smile.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” You whispered with a smile. He tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed your cheek.
“Can I kiss your for real?” He asked you quietly and you just nodded. Moments later your lips met in a tentative kiss. There was a little bit of hesitation at first but seconds later you were kissing with more depth. Your hands held his as he cupped your face tenderly as you continued to kiss. You’d kissed very quickly a handful of times since your arrival but nothing like this where you could feel yourself getting all hot and bothered by it.
“Baby…” you mumbled into the kiss.
“Right…sorry.” He hummed and let you go breaking the kiss abruptly and you chuckled as you blindly reached down your leg and finally grabbed the dryer sheet that was half hanging out of the dryer and tickling your leg. You crumbled it up and tossed it in the garbage bin just a few feel away from you before turning back and looking up to him.
“You can continue now.” You said with a small smile and he grinned before picking you up and setting you on the dryer as your mouths met with more urgency. Your kiss and need started to grow and grow and boil over very quickly.
It really wasn’t planned when he carried you to his room and got you undressed. Even though you’d yet to resolve everything from before, you didn’t feel worried or wrong about this. You felt comfortable and beautiful as you felt his bare skin against your own. You were eagerly awaiting it as he kissed down your body and made you feel so good along the way. He wasted no time in getting down and going down on you, showing you just how much he had missed you. He savored you and gave you his best until you were starting to lose your grip on reality.
“Oh fuck, I missed you…” you giggled through a moan as his tongue did it’s wonderful work between your legs. You were tingling all over as he flicked over your clit until you were trembling and then he started to suck, “Oh my god!” You gasped as your eyes started to roll back. “I’m getting so close!” You warned. 
Your lips parted and you started to pant when he started to work two fingers into you. Your breath hitched when he curved them up into your g-spot. You felt your body melt into the bed for a second before he started to fuck into you harden until you were so tense your legs trembled as you started to come. The soft moans flowing from your lips were egging Harry on, making him even more hungry for you. You pulled him back up to you and your lips met eagerly as you reached for the button of his jeans.
“Want ‘em off?” He asked and you nodded, “Sure, baby?” He asked and you nodded.
“Yeah, baby. I want you. I need you.” You whispered and he smiled before kissing your lips quickly before pulling back a bit.
“I just…I need you to know that if we do this I want us t-to be the thing that means we’re going to try again.” He said and your gaze softened, “Obviously, I’ve missed your body and having you like this, but this is more than that to me. I want it to  be more than that.” He said and you nodded.
“I do too, baby. I want to try again. I really do.” You said to him with welled up eyes and he smiled and kissed you slowly again.
“You are everything to me.” He mumbled as you helped get his pants off blindly as he tugged the material down, “I’m never going to forget that again. I swear it, baby. You make me so fucking happy.” He panted as he toed off the pants before he climbed over you and pulled you up with him towards the the top of the bed. You climbed over his lap and kissed his passionately. Harry’s hands roamed your naked body with expertise. He knew the spots to touch and to pay mind to as you guys worked up to the love-making bit. You too appreciated his body. You touched and kissed over his body and took his length into your mouth, working him up just a bit more before you two had sex. 
“Shit, baby…fuck that’s so good!” He groaned as you sunk down on him until you gagged around his tip. You weren’t as used to his size as you once were. 
“Careful, baby. Go easy.” He reminded as he stroked over your cheek lovingly before running his thumb along your stretched out bottom lip. He loved seeing how you fit him in your hot little mouth. It had his abs clenching hard as you rolled and fondled his heavy balls in your hands until he was fighting the urge to start thrusting in your mouth. “Baby, please…please, I need you.” He panted and you popped off of him and glanced up at him.
“Can I get on?” You asked and he swallowed thickly.
“A-are you sure you want this?” He asked and you nodded.
“I do, H. I want this with you. I want everything with you. Everything that we had, I want it all back. I love you more than anything in the wor-” he cut you off with his kiss and laid you down. You were dying of impatience as hi heavy erection glided against your slicked up and swollen folds, you were so ready to have him back.
“I love you. I love you so much.” He whispered as he lined up to your entrance.
“I love you too. Please just…I need you.” You begged and so he pushed forward until he was sinking deep in your hot, wet little hole until he bottomed out. 
You hissed as you adjusted back to his size, he was great about it, so patient and eager to get you going by rubbing over your clit until you were so wet you were sliding up and down his shaft. He watched you hungrily as you lifted your hips up and down to feel him moving inside of you. But it got to the point where he needed to take over and just get you both to come. His thrusts were deep and slow, he was bottoming out with each one, it was making your brain blank each and every time he sunk into the deepest part of you. Your body was tingling and your walls fluttering and pulsing around him with every movement. Everything felt so good with him. He was looking down at you with so much adoration it was making you even more emotional.
“Baby, baby don’t cry.” He chuckled as he kissed your forehead as a few tears streamed down your cheek.
“It just feels so…good.” You sniffled and he kissed you quickly, “It feels so good to be with you.” You hummed as you rolled your hips up against his and he moaned lowly and kissed you again.
“Yeah? Are you gonna come for me?” He asked and you nodded. “Good girl, let me know when you’re getting close.”
“I will.” You whined out as he delved deep and ground against you until your eyes squeezed shut, “Shit!” You gasped as he started thrusting a bit faster into that spot until you just felt yourself leaking around.
“Fuck…” he laughed, “Fuck, you’re so wet f’me, I-I’m getting close.” He panted and you whined and started to rub your clit to catch up to him.
In a few moments you were right there on the edge with him. Your back was arching as you moaned his name as your orgasm nearly took you out. Your ears were ringing and your vision was blurring as you started to come around him. He started to thrust faster to get off, but he was drawing out your orgasm until you were trembling.
“Fuck…fuck, I’m coming!” He warned as he started to press himself up to pull out. “Oh fuuuuck…” he moaned as he started to stroke himself as he came all over your mound. He thrusted his sensitive cock through your folds, making a little mess of you before kissing you ardently. “I love you. Love you so fucking much.” He whispered, his voice cracked as he started to cry and you pulled him into your chest and held him tight as you both just let your raw emotions out in this moment. 
You both needed it desperately. After he settled down he hurried to get something to clean you off and then you started to talk about you two. What you wanted, what you hoped to see in the future. You’d had these conversations before but even now the things that Harry was saying to you were complete different than before. Losing you seemed to be the thing that woke him up to how much he’d been taking you for granted. He’d gotten used to it, he’d gotten complacent at your expense.
“It’s going to be so different this time.” He said softly as he looked deep in your eyes, “I will be different this time.” He assured and you sighed.
“I believe you…there’s just a little part of me that is still not ready to let you back in.” You explained after he had explained how he was going to show up for you from now on, “I want to just trust you fully, but I’m afraid that you’ll make a fool of me again. That you’ll hurt me again.” You explained, “And I know y-you won’t but I just need to let you know that I’m still learning to trust you fully again.” You explained. “So please just…be a little patient with me.” You requested and he smiled.
“I know, baby. I will be patient with you and I will do everything I can to prove to you that I will never do anything to make you doubt choosing me again.” He said and kissed you slowly. You smiled into the kiss and let him pull you closer to him again and that’s how you fell asleep, nestled close together.
….. ONE MONTH LATER ….
In this short amount of time things had drastically shifted between you and Harry. You’d started to go on a date a week, doing thoughtful things for each other, sharing your feelings as they arose, communicated openly…he’d matured a lot in your time apart and helped you overcome your fears faster than you anticipated. You were so proud of him and it was spilling over into every moment. Like now, you were filled with a surge of love as you wandered into the kitchen to see him pulling out your favorite salad dressing from the fridge.
“Hiya, baby. What’re you up to?” You asked.
“Just making us your favorite salad for a light lunch.” He said.
“Wow, lunch already?” you asked and he smiled as you went over to him and hugged him from the back as you peeked over to his hands, eager to direct him on how much dressing he needed to add.
“Yeah, love!” He chuckled, “We had breakfast at 8! It’s already past 2pm.” He informed you and that surprised you. But you’d been so sucked into your work that it was very possible that you forgot to even feel hungry.
“Oh, I didn’t realize.” You explained and he frowned a bit.
“Baby, have you been feeling alright? It’s not just today, I’ve noticed that you haven’t had much of an appetite at all lately.” He pointed out and you frowned as you gave it some thought and realized that yeah, this was something you’d been feeling for at least two weeks. Maybe it was intense PMS? You hadn’t gotten your period since moving here, so you hoped it was just your body finally catching up with itself.
“You’re right…I mean, I have very visceral reactions to stress and big changes…I mean, my whole body and system have just been out of whack for a little but they’ll balance out again.” You assured him and he hummed.
“That’s true, it’s been hectic for you.” He said as he opened up the dressing bottle, “Honestly, I was thinking that-” he stopped as you gagged as the scent of the dressing wafting up towards you. You had to let him go and go hunch yourself over the sink as you felt the scent of the dressing just linger in your nose and mouth. “Baby…?” Harry came over and rubbed your back slowly, “Are you alright?”
“Yeah…” you grimaced, “But I think the dressing is bad. Didn’t you smell that? It was rank!” You turned to him with a disgusted look on your face and he frowned.
“I didn’t smell anything. You look a bit awful now though. You’re all pale.” He said feeling your forehead and you exhaled slowly to ward off the nausea that you suddenly felt making your head spin.
“I might throw up, the dressing smells so bad.” You explained and he frowned and turned to the counter and brought it up to his nose and it smelled just fine to him. He even checked the bottle for the usage date and it was still good. 
“This is fine…should I mix your salad with something else then?” He asked and you shook your head.
“I think I’m fine. I’ll just have some toast.” You said and he nodded. Eventually, you had to go back to your “office” and leave him hanging for lunch because you could not handle the look and scent of the salad, especially that dressing. By the time dinner rolled around you were still feeling a little off so you just had some veggies in a chicken broth and that was that.
*******************
You’d truly forgotten about your sensitive sense of smell until once again, you were assailed by an unbearable scent. Except this time it had happened at your friend, Poppy’s house. And this time you did actually get sick.
“God, I’m so sorry, P.” You apologized as you returned to her kitchen with embarrassment, “I swear its not your cooking, my nose has just been so sensitive lately and I get to grossed out by certain scents. I’m not sure what exactly yet though.” You explained to her.
“God, you sound like my sister when she got pregnant.” Poppy chuckled and you froze. That hadn’t even crossed your mind. Yeah, you’d missed your period for the last two months but literally everything impacted your period, your cycle was fickle, especially when you were under as much stress as you’d been. You weren’t surprised that it hadn’t come at all. Truly, this wasn’t new to you, especially when you were stressed out, regardless of whether or not you were on the pill (which you weren’t after moving back here, you’d run out the week before you came out). Then, you recalled that when you and Harry had sex the first time he hadn’t used a condom. Yeah, he’d pulled out but that was never a guarantee.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Poppy asked you with concern.
“I think I should probably take a test just to rule that out. I mean, it’s…very unlikely but I was a bit irresponsible a bit ago and just need some peace of mind.” You said.
“Okay, I have some in my bathroom, let me get you one.” She offered and you nodded so she hurried off to get it for you.
You were sure you were good, but you just needed to see it for yourself. There was absolutely no way you could be pregnant, you weren’t ready for that. Harry wasn’t ready for that. Like emotionally you guys were, but you had just rekindled your relationship, the last thing you needed was something this crazy to throw a wrench in things so quickly after you’d gotten back together.
“Alright, here you are, babe.” She said handing over the box as she came up to you again.
“Thanks.” You smiled nervously.
“W-would you mind if I did it here?” You asked her and she smiled and shook her head.
“Of course not.” She assured you and with that you were off to the bathroom again, sitting there, willing yourself to pee enough to saturate the stick and finally it came and you put the cap back on it and washed your hands before coming out. “I hate to be that person but what if you are pregnant?” She asked and you sighed.
“I have no idea…” you confessed through a nervous chuckle while you stared at the wall blankly, “I mean, H and I just…God, we’re just getting back into the groove of things. Throwing a baby into the mix at this time isn’t going to make anything easier. It’s just not what we need right now.” You explained to her.
“Yeah, I get that.” She chuckled, “Cam and I try and then we stop because of the same thing and like…ugh, it’s just a vicious cycle! And genuinely, if you have that many doubts it’s just that you’re not prepared for it, you know? That’s what I had to tell Cam after a few months.” She explained and you nodded in understanding. “I-if you are…what do you think Harry’d say?” She asked and you sighed.
“I have no fucking clue…” you admitted, “Obviously, before, we had said we wanted to have a family together. But again, that was before everything went to shit with us.” You sighed, “And like, we’re in such a good place right now…” you sighed, “Like I know he wouldn’t be a prick about it but we’re not quite ready for that yet.” You chuckled nervously and Poppy nodded in understanding.
“Well, don’t worry, you’ll see in a few minutes that everything is fine.” She smiled with encouragement. 
You decided to believe her that everything was going to be fine. You were already booked for a full body, deep tissue massage next week with Poppy when your timer went off. You turned off the timer and then brought the test up closer and your heart stopped beating and you stopped breathing for what felt like an eternity. Staring right back at you, clear as day, were two little pink lines.
“Th-that means I’m…right?” You asked showing Poppy and she bit her lip nervously and nodded.
“Are you okay?” She asked you with concern and you just exhaled slowly. You were completely taken by surprise. Then you started to get worried.
“I ummm…I think I need to get home.” You said to her, still in shock. You swallowed thickly as you tried to imagine how Harry would react to the news that he would be a father.
“Do you want me to drive you over?” She offered, since you had walked from Harry’s to hers. It was just a 20 minute walk, you guys lived quite close.
“No, no, P, it’s alright. I think walking will be good for me, I need to…I need…” you trailed off as your eyes started to well up with tears as you started to imagine the worst case scenario.
“Hey…Hey, hey, hey, c’mere.” She said pulling you into her arms as you started to cry, “It’s going to be alright, babe. H is not gonna be angry, you know that.” She assured you as she rubbed comforting circles into your back as you held her tight. “You have options, yeah? You know that he’ll have your back no matter what.” She said and you nodded, “Let me get you home, yeah?”
“Okay.” You whispered to your best friend and she gave you one more squeeze before letting you go.
  Once you got to your place she encouraged you to have a shower and that she’d get some tea going for you. You texted Harry that you needed him to come home as soon as possible, you didn’t want this solely on your chest for another minute. You took your time and when Harry started pulling into your driveway Poppy popped in and let you know before shouting a goodbye to you. You sighed and relished in the warm water for just another moment before turning off the water. You were soon reaching for your robe and slipping into it. You padded over to the mirror to wash your face and you bit your lip before untying the robe and looking over your body. You looked the same, you saw no evidence of a baby.
“Baby?” You heard Harry calling from downstairs. Soon, his footsteps were heard coming up the stairs and you quickly tied your robe up and got to lathering your face wash in your hands.
“In the bathroom!” You called back before rubbing it into your skin. He rushed into the bathroom and looked more than relieved to see you intact.
“Are you alright?” He asked and you sighed and quickly bent over to rinse your face. You then dabbed it dry as you reached for your toner.
“I think so…” you responded after a little bit, “I don’t know.” You sighed as you grabbed your moisturizer.
“Well what’s going on? Hmmm?” He asked you as he came over and kissed your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your middled and pulled you in closer and suddenly you had to throw up again. You gasped and wriggled out of his hold and turned around to face him. Your eyes started welling up with tears again and you were just building up the courage to say it. “Baby, you’re worrying me.” He said softly and you swallowed thickly.
“Ummm…I…I’m pregnant.” You said and his jaw slightly dropped. He let out a small and nervous laugh before he just pulled you back into his arms without a single word. You hugged him back and just held each other for a little bit.
“What do you want to do?” He finally asked you and you shook your head.
“I have no fucking clue…” you said and he let you go and hoisted you up onto the counter. You draped your arms over his shoulders as he held your thighs, “I mean, what do you think?” You asked and he sighed.
“I don’t fucking know…I mean, that’s gonna be our baby so I…like I’m inclined t-to give it a try. But at the same time I don’t know that our relationship is ready for something like this. I mean, I want this with you in a few years but we’re just getting started again.”
“I know…I don’t even know how this…like you pulled out.”
“I know, but it’s not always a guaranteed thing.” He said and you sighed.
“I should’ve said something then…” you shook your head as you rubbed your forehead with one of your hands.
“Hey, there’s no point for any would’ve-should’ve-s,” he said, “It’s gonna be alright. We’ll figure it out soon, okay?” You nodded, “Just take your time, baby. Whatever you decide, I have your back.” He assured you and you nodded. He grabbed your face and kissed your lips until you were smiling.
“Stoooop.” You giggled, “M’not in the mood.” You pouted through your smile and he smiled.
“I think you’re lying.” He hummed and you rolled your eyes. “Look, how about we get an appointment with the doctor and see how far along you are and maybe that’ll help us decide what we might want to do.” He said and you nodded.
“Yes, good thinking.” You smiled, “God, I was so scared to tell you.” You sighed and he tutted.
“What made you think to take a test?”
“I smelled something P was cooking and got sick.” You said, you felt tour cheeks growing hot in embarrassment. Harry chuckled and then furrowed his brows pensively. 
“Didn’t you almost get sick at the salad dressing a bit ago?” He recalled and you chuckled.
“Yeah, that’s true…” you remembered, “I mean, I know I haven’t gotten my period but-”
“How was that not a sign?!” He chuckled in disbelief and you proceeded to explain how your period often skipped when you were under a lot of stress so this wasn’t an odd thing for you. But he was sweet, he was calm, but you could see the cogs just turning at full speed in his mind. You hoped he wasn’t angry at you, but you couldn’t help but think that he was and that he would run again. “I’m not angry, you know?” He mumbled softly and you glanced into his eyes and smiled a bit, “I can see it in your eyes, you know?” He whispered.
“You sure?”
“I am, baby. But I am…excited too…I mean, I don’t want to dwell on it too much incase we decide not to proceed with this but…I am. I mean, you’re the only person I want to have a life with. No matter how it happens, it’s you that I want to have babies with and raise them with and just share that experience with. So if you did want to continue with the pregnancy that would be good with me too.” He hummed.
“Okay. Thank you for your opinion.” You whispered before kissing his lips and hugging him tight against. You kissed at his neck as you just nestled yourself in the crook of it. “I love you.”
“I love you.” He smiled.
…. TWO DAYS LATER ….
You currently found your self peeing into a cup at the doctor’s office. You knew you were pregnant, but the doctor wanted to verify before they did an ultrasound to see where you were at. Once you finished you closed up the little jar and left it not he shelf as instructed. You washed your hands and then scurried across the hall and back into your room to see Harry intently reading the poster on the wall abut pregnancy.
“You know you get super horny during the second trimester.” He said in amusement, “As if you needed any more of that while pregnant…greedy.” He mumbled with a grin and you chuckled.
“You’re dumb.” You said as you went back over to the bench and sat again. You dangled your feet back and forth for a bit before Harry came over.
“What’re you thinking?”
“I’m thinking that…this is fucking insane.” You chuckled.
“In a good way?”
“Yeah…bad too.” You hummed and he nodded and leaned in to kiss your cheek.
“It’s going to be just fine, baby.” He assured you right as the doctor knocked at the door. “Come in!” Harry called and soon the woman was coming in.
“Hello, Y/N!” Dr. Sallow greeted you sweetly, “Glad you’re back!” She said with glee and you smiled.
“Thank you.” You replied, “And ummm, this is Harry, my…partner.” You said and she turned to him and smiled.
“Harry, wonderful to meet you.” She smiled and extended her hand and they shook them quickly before she walked over to the screen. “So, you’re here because you are pregnant.” She said and you nodded, “I can confirm that.” She smiled and Harry squeezed your knee when you inhaled sharply. It sort of felt official now. “So we can definitely do an ultrasound if you’d like, the room is available. Or did you have other questions?” she asked.
“Definitely an ultrasound. Want to know how far along I am and that sort of thing.”
“I’d assume fairly early if you’re just noticing any symptoms, so don’t be too disappointed if we don’t see much of anything just yet.” She forewarned and you both nodded. “Alright, I’m gonna have nurse Debbie set up the room and then she’ll escort you over and we’ll get a look at you.”
“Thank you.” You smiled and soon she excused herself before fluttering off to her next patient. You only waited a couple of minutes before nurse Debbie came to escort you to the ultrasound room and got you all set up. Harry was practically bouncing beside you with anxiety as he waited. 
“Let me get the doctor.” Debbie said and hurried out. You glanced over to Harry.
“Hey, hold my hand.” You said and he dragged a chair over and interlocked your fingers. “I’m so excited to see.” You whispered and he grinned wide.
“Me too.” He confessed and you chuckled. “Maybe we…think a bit more about keeping it…” he suggested and you smiled a bit.
“Yeah? You mean it?” You asked softly and he nodded.
“I do, baby.” He smiled. 
A few moments later Dr. Sallow was announcing herself again before coming in. She explained the procedure and then got the gel on you before grabbing the camera and gliding it over your tummy, looking for the best spot.
“Oh…there we are.” she hummed and Harry immediately shot upon seeing the image projected on the screen.
“Oh my god…” he whispered as he squeezed your hand tight and you smiled up at him quickly before you both glanced back over to the screen.
“So that there is the head and the arms and legs…” she pointed out and shifted the angle, “Do you want to know the sex?” She asked as she turned to you and you chuckled.
“That’s…ummm, isn’t it a bit early to know that?” You asked her and she shook her head.
“Not at all, we can tell as early as 10 week if the position is right.” She explained and you’re heart stopped.
“And I’m already 10 weeks along?” You asked shakily as the realization of what this meant started to settle in. You felt Harry starting to pull his hand away from yours.
“Oh no, you’re more like 14 weeks, dear.” She said and that’s when Harry completely pulled away from you and you felt the air completely leave your lungs. You turned to him and he just clenched his jaw as he ran his fingers through the top of his hair. “So do you want to know?” She asked and you were so frozen that you nodded quickly as your eyes teared up. “It’s a girl.” She said with a smiled and you just nodded.
“That’s…that’s so great.” You whispered and then brought a hand up over your mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound as started to cry. Dr. Sallow turned to you quickly with concern and then you felt Harry’s hand grab yours again. You turned towards him and saw he was crying too. “I’m sorry.” You whispered and he shook his head.
“We’ll talk about it.” He said to you softly and you nodded.
“Is everything alright?” Dr. Sallow asked and you sniffled.
“Sorry, yes. I just didn’t mean to say that.” You explained and she apologized but you assured her it was fine. 
You just wanted to get out of there… you were mortified. This wasn’t Harry’s baby and now you really had no idea what to do. You always used condoms with Steven, but now that you knew he was psycho, you had no doubt that he was capable of sabotaging you like this. More than anything you were so hurt and angry that he had taken this from you and Harry. For a second you almost turned and asked for an appointment for an abortion but you glanced at the screen and you were flooded with guilt for even thinking that.
“Ummm, I’d like to leave.” You said as you started to sit up and Dr. Sallow was quick to clean you off. Harry helped you off of the reclining seat and you were back on the road not even ten minutes later. 
You were just silent the whole way home, you felt like shit. You felt awful for getting Harry all excited only to know that this was not his child you were carrying. You were so confused right now, you almost wanted to pinch yourself and hope you woke up. You could feel Harry continuously glancing over at you but you couldn’t look at him. There was no way you could look at him after this. It was over between you two…there was no way you could ask him to stay with you after this. It wouldn’t be fair to him. When you got to the house you made it to the stairwell and plopped down as you started to sob violently.
You moved to the side when you saw Harry coming over, assuming he was just going to go up to the bedroom. But then he crouched down and sat a step above you and pulled you into him by the shoulders.
“It’s o-”
“Don’t say it’s okay.” You cut him off, “This is not okay.” You whispered sadly. “I hate Steven.” You seethed and he swallowed thickly as you started to sob and he pulled you closer and kissed the side of your head.
“I love you, okay? This doesn’t change that for me.” He said to you and you shook your head.
“I would never ask you or expect to stay. It’s not fair to you, Harry…” you said sadly, “I was about to tell Dr. Sallow that I wanted to abort but then I saw the screen again and I just…I don’t think I can do it. That’s like…a part of me too and I just…I don’t think I can go through with it.” You said again, sputtering on your tears. “If that means that we’re over, I get it. I totally understand it.” You sniffled.
Harry frowned deeply as he heard you say this. His heart was completely torn right now. He thought you were reacting this way because you were going to terminate the pregnancy upon finding out that it wasn’t your baby together. But hearing you say that you wouldn’t be able to do that, it made him so angry and so hurt. Despite his own feelings about this, he fully understood why changed your mind. After seeing the tiny little thing tucked inside of you his heart was in shambles too. He was fully ready to advocate for you guys keeping it, but hearing how far along you were, it completely shattered his heart. He felt physically ill as the moment replayed in his brain. You’d both slept with other people during your time apart, so he wasn’t angry at that, it was more that it was Steven’s. A man who had hurt you and disrespected you and that scared you. It made the hate he felt for him grow even more intense than it already was. He was livid, he could kill him for taking this from you two. Harry had to decide how he would proceed from here. You were fully prepared to leave him again in order to keep this baby and the thought of it put so much sorrow in his heart. He didn’t want to lose you.
The idea of leaving you and letting you do this all on your own made his sad. You didn’t deserve that. You deserved to have a good pregnancy, one that came with a supportive partner, someone to share the experience with. He wanted to be the person to be there for you but right now the thought of that little thing growing inside of you made his blood boil with hatred. He couldn’t think clearly in the slightest. 
“I ummm…I love you so much, baby. I just, I think I need some time t-to process this and just think about it all.” He said to you and you nodded. “I love you though. You know that right?” He asked and you nodded again as he kissed the side of your head.
“Love you too.” You whispered and he hummed. “Should I go for a couple of days?” You asked quietly.
“No, baby.” He said quietly, “You stay here and rest up.” He hummed lowly, “I think I’m gonna go up north and just spend a few days with my mum, clear my head, if that’s alright?” He asked. You wanted to say no, the last thing you wanted right now was to be all alone with this information. But you had no choice but to agree, you had just put him in the most impossible position and he deserved to have the space to think about it as calmly and comfortably as possible.
“Yeah, sure.” You whispered.
“Can I tell my mum?” He asked and you sighed.
“Why the fuck not…” You chuckled through your tears and he pouted.
“Hey, look at me.” He insisted, “I won’t if you don’t want me to, baby. This is about you, about your body. If you want me to keep it to myself I will.” He assured.
“Sorry. I’m just afraid that it’ll change how she feels about me.” You explained nervously. You’d had a wonderful relationship with Anne. You missed her wisdom and kindness and friendship during your time apart from Harry and hearing that another man had impregnated you, her son’s girlfriend, well you’d understand if it upset her. 
“No…I mean, things happen. Accidents happen.” He said and you shook your head.
“Baby, I-I don’t think this was accidental because we used a condom every single time. I’m certain of it!” You wept, “Like I’m not stupid, or careless like that.” You assured.
“You think he ruined the condoms?” He asked and you sighed as you recalled all of the overtly possessive things Steven had been saying to you during sex the last month or so that you had been together. Things about making you his forever, about giving him babies one day, making you a mom…you thought he was just introducing some of his preferences in bed with that kind of talk, but maybe it was more than that. 
“It’s very possible.” You said softly.
“Jesus…” he shook his head, “How fucked up was this guy?” He asked you and you shrugged.
“I never saw that side of him before all of this.” You said and Harry sighed and nodded. After a moment of silence he cleared his throat.
“Ummm…I’m just gonna pack and head out soon, want to avoid that rush hour traffic near Birmingham.” He said and you nodded. 
He stood up and then offered to help you stand as well before you guys went up to the room. You sat on the bed as you watched him pack a couple days worth of clothes. You wanted to ask him to stay, but you couldn’t be that selfish. This was the least you could do for him after that a-bomb was just dropped on him. Not to mention the a-bomb you’d just dumped on him too. When he finished packing up his bag he went over and kissed you quickly.
“I’m not running away from you, okay? I just need to clear my head.” He reassured you, his words were mumbled against your forehead before he kissed you there, “I love you so much.” He whispered before kissing your lips.
“Love you.” You mumbled, “Text when you get there, yeah?”
“I will, baby.” He assured.
“Be safe.”
“Always.” He hummed before he bid you farewell once more before he left. 
Once you heard him pull out of the driveway you just curled up on your side and started to cry. This couldn’t be real…there was no way this could be real. You felt completely defeated. The only thing you could think that made you happy was that you never wanted Steven to know about this, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. You had no idea how that would go down with your child in the future, but right now you wanted him not to know a single thing about you ever again. After coming to that conclusion you ended up calling your mom and telling her everything that happened. You talked and cried for nearly an hour before she had to go, but not without promising she’d call again and chat the next day in order to keep you some company, even from afar. 
After that you decided to draw yourself a warm and relaxing bath, that always made you feel so calm. So you started out on that, letting your bath bomb melt in the warm water as you made yourself a nice cup of tea, your last caffeinated one for the foreseeable future, and then got inside.
*****************
Harry had been driving up the M1 motorway for a bit before he quickly texted his mum his ETA. This caused her to call him right away and ask what this surprise visit was about, but he couldn’t speak when he answered her call. He just sobbed, he sobbed for nearly 15 minutes before he shared what had happened that morning at the doctor’s office. He explained everything he was feeling, even the bad things he was thinking, but the one thing that kept coming up was how much he loved you.
“I love her so much but I just don’t think I could get past the fact that, that prick is the baby’s dad…I cannot for the life of me sit with that information and not become enraged by it.” He said, it pained him to spare Steven a thought.
“D-do you feel angry at Y/N for being with him?” She asked and he frowned.
“No/ It’s not like I didn’t see other people but I hate that she thinks that I couldn’t be with her after this. Like, I think about letting her go, like she’s saying, and it absolutely guts me.” He explained. “And like…I feel bad that it crossed my mind at some point, but not for the reasons you might think, it’s just that I don’t know i-if I am even prepared to take that role on.” He sniffled.
“No one ever is, even when it’s meticulously planned, H.” She reasoned and he sighed,
“Are you concerned about him wanting to come back into her life?” She asked and he nodded.
“Yeah…a bit.” He admitted, “I mean, I don’t think he’s the type to take any accountability for his actions but if he finds out about it he’s so arrogant that he might want to just to make her uncomfortable. I mean, Y/N thinks it may have been deliberate because she said she always made sure t-to use protection. I mean, I wouldn’t put it past him to do something like that, the man was completely mad.” He shared and his mum hummed in understanding.
“Well sweetheart, it doesn’t sound to me like you’re all that conflicted. It sounds to me like you don’t want to end things with her.”
“Of course not! But what if I…what I can’t love that baby as much since I now know this?” He asked.
“I-is that what’s holding you back?” She asked and he hummed on confirmation. He felt like a complete prick saying that but he was legitimately concerned about this. What if you went on to have your own kids together and it just changed something in him? What if he was open to being with you now but then changed his mind? What if he saw Steven every time he saw that baby and only felt anger instead of love? The chances of something like this happening were extremely low, practically non-existent, but not 0%. And in the end he would hurt you and that baby even more if he walked out because one of these things happened.
“You know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think you will love her just fine, H. You know why?” She asked and he hummed, “Because out of everyone in the world you know the impact that one incredible and dedicated man can have on a child.” She said and he sniffled, “You’ve seen for yourself that a biological connection is not needed to give someone unconditional love and support. You’re lucky, you got that from two fathers.” She said and he smiled.
“Yeah.” He whispered.
“I’m not saying that it won’t be scary and difficult at times t-to do this, but it can also be extremely beautiful and rewarding. You’re both such wonderful people that if you decided to stay and do this together you could impact that child’s life for the better, just like yours was.” 
“Right…” he said softly
“And well, honestly sweetheart, these concerns you have, they’re things you need to figure out with Y/N. She will listen to you, H. I mean, if you’re feeling this conflicted about things I can’t image how she must be feeling now.” she said with sympathy and when he saw himself nearing Birmingham he felt awful. It got as bad as him feeling sick to his stomach as he pictured your fearful and distraught face back in the bedroom. He’d done it again, he’d left you hanging at a time when you needed his love and support the most. He loved you so much, he could not believe he’d left you alone in that state. And in two seconds he started to signal to get off of the motorway.
“Mum, I ummm…I need to go back and be with, Y/N.” He decided, “I shouldn’t have left here there by herself after everything she had to hear today…I’d be surprised if she was still there after I just walked out…fuck!” He groaned in frustration.
“H, she loves you so much.”
“I love her too…why do I keep doing the wrong thing and hurting her?” He cried now as he got off at the next exit. He was waiting for the traffic to clear before he could make his turn to turn around.
“I think it kind of scares you, how much you love her. And I think in a way you might feel like you could lose her, so you pull back regardless of how that might make her feel. It’s self preservation.” She explained and he swallowed thickly. Hearing this helped him mentally decide that he wasn’t going to run any more, after everything he’d done you’d given him another chance regardless of the possibility of him hurting you again. This was his chance to show you that his love for you was bigger than everything else. “Don’t be afraid to open your heart, sweetheart.” She added and he hummed.
“Alright, thank you for listening. I’m just gonna call Dr. A and ummm…hopefully sort some mental things out before I get back to Y/N.” He said.
“Okay, bub. Be safe, please let me know when you’re home safe. I love you.”
“Love you.” He mumbled before he hung up and got back onto the motorway but heading back towards the South. He wasn’t going to do the same thing again and leave all alone to guess just how much he loved you, not this time. He was going to be there for you and support you and love you both.
*****************
It was a bit odd to you when you heard the large gate to Harry’s house opening up. But then you recalled that sometimes his PA would do errands that required him to come to the house. So you just got out of the tub quickly and rinsed your body off in the shower before getting into your robe in case he came upstairs for any reason. You were just getting one of Harry’s hoodies when you heard his voice.
“Baby? Are you still here?” He called out as you heard the front door shut heavily against the frame. You hurried into the yoga pants you’d grabbed and rushed out to see him coming up the stairs. 
“You came back.” You sighed in relief as he hurried up and he just pulled you right into his arms and you started to cry.
“I’m so sorry. I should never have left you like this, baby.” He sniffled as he kissed your head over and over again. “I love you so much. I love you so fucking much.” He assured you. “I’m not leaving you alone with this, baby.” He said to you and you pulled back a bit to look at him.
“What do you…mean by that?”
“It means that we’re doing this together.” He said to you and you shook your head.
“I can’t…I couldn’t do that to you.” You said to him and he shook his head.
“You’re not doing anything to me, baby. If you’re keeping this baby I am choosing to do this with you. I know it’s going to be hard but I will be there for you every step of the way and love our little babygirl with everything I am. I love you far too much to not see this through with you.” He said and you just broke down and hugged him tight.
You had no words, there was just joy. You knew this would be hard and challenging and even sad at times, but he’d come back to you and he wanted you to stay with him.
“I love you so much, H.” You finally whispered before kissing his lips.
“You’re everything to me, baby. We’re gonna get through this.” He smiled and you smiled.
“Promise?”
“I promise.” He smiled, “It was actually my mum who reminded me that biology had nothing to do with being a great father, so…she doesn’t hate you.” He said and you chuckled through your tears.
“Good, that would’ve definitely been the worst outcome.” You said jokingly and he smiled. “And look, I know that there are a lot of logistics and other things to discuss and I’m still sorting through that mentally, s-so if you can just be a little patient with me while I…get that together in my head I would really appreciate that. I’m still processing that there’s a little person forming in there and it’s kind of…freaky.” You said as you looked up into his eyes and he sputtered on a laugh. You frowned at his reaction, “What?”
“I thought you were going to say it was magical or amazing, not freaky.” He giggled and you did as well. 
“Oh…well, I…I don’t feel…happy about it yet.” You confessed to him and this brought on a fresh wave of tears, “I feel like shit about that. Like I’m gonna be a mom, I should be happy, not freaked out, shouldn’t I?” You asked him.
“Not necessarily. You can feel however you want about it, baby.” He assured you, “Especially in this situation, it’s come as a surprise to you. I don’t judge you at all for not feeling happy about this yet, baby.”
“Promise?”
“I swear it.” He promised before pecking your lips again quickly.
“Thank you.” You whispered and he nodded and smile at you.
“Wanna do something to take your mind off of things for a bit?” He asked.
“Like what?”
“We can…sort through the pantry and fridge and see what foods you’ll have an aversion to?” He offered and you smiled and shook your head at his bizarre, yet completely productive suggestion. “I see you trying to hold back your smile.” He teased and you finally gave in.
“That’s the wildest but most genius thing you’ve ever suggested.” You giggled.
“I know. Imagine how smart our kid’s gonna be?! We’ve got this in the bag.” He said confidently.
“You think so?” You asked and he nodded.
“With you as her mum, I know so.” He smiled.
…. 1 YEAR LATER ….
You woke up feeling completely refreshed and renewed. It was absolutely quiet in the house and it was strange to wake up in silence. When you rolled over and looked at your phone you saw it was nearly 10am and shot out of bed. You had no idea how you’d slept in that much! The baby needed to be fed and changed! You hurried over to the nursery already thinking up an apology in your head for Ellie. But when you made it into the nursery it was empty. Harry had some work to do for Pleasing today so you knew he’d be out. Maybe he called someone to come look after the baby? When you passed by his home studio on the way to the kitchen you heard his voice along with others, so you knocked on the door.
“Come in!” He called quickly and you peeked inside and immediately smiled when you saw Harry spin around in the chair with Elara sitting on his lap, she was literally just chilling there while she drooled all over one of the newer nail polishes Pleasing would release soon. He smiled at you over the sounds of whoever was speaking right now. “Hey guys, are we good for today or is there anything else we needed to go over?” He asked with a smile as you waved from the background.
“We’re all good!” You heard and then heard the multiple voices bidding farewell to you and baby Elara before he hung up.
“You didn’t have to do that.” You said to him as you walked into the room to grab her from him.
“It’s alright, baby, we were just chatting a bit.” He assured you, “Weren’t we?” He asked the baby who just ignored him to keep attempting to bite the bottle in her hands before he started to rub at her back.
“I know you had work, you should’ve woken me up.” You said as you kissed his head.
“No way.” He chuckled, “You know, you slept through two whole alarms, you clearly needed the rest. I thought you were dead for second there.” He said with grin and you tutted.
“Don’t even say that.” You scolded.
“You’re right, sorry. Bad joke.” He corrected himself, “But really, my love, I don’t mind doing these launch plan meetings online, it’s none of the fun stuff so.” He shrugged and you smiled, “Besides when I have Ellie on camera everyone is so obsessed with her little smile that they’re so agreeable, so it’s a win-win.” He chuckled and you smirked.
“God forbid the paps see her and exploit her for money, but her own father is exploiting her cuteness for sway in the board room.” You said with a grin and he chuckled.
“Hey, she likes hearing all the commotion too.” He added and you smiled before kissing the top of her head and she sighed and laid over his chest making you both coo. “She finally slept through the night. Sorry you missed it.” He said softly and you chuckled.
“I’m sorry you’re so used to waking up to her crying that you noticed!” You giggled as you raked your fingers through his curls easily and he hummed.
“I don’t mind it. Reminds me that this little cutie is finally here.” He said and you smiled at how sweet he was with her.
“I can’t believe she’ll be six whole months tomorrow.” You said in disbelief.
“I know…S’your half birthday, bub.” He said to her and she just blinked tiredly, "She’s perfect though, isn’t she? Your little twin.” He hummed with pride as he looked down at her and then at you again. You nodded and watched him with her for a few moments.
Harry had nothing but love for baby Elara. He adored her completely. He almost felt silly for being so worried that he wouldn’t bond with her as genuinely as if she were his biological daughter. Once he saw you starting to show and you guys started shopping for the nursery, and picking out baby names, every ounce of doubt he had melted away. That was his daughter in every sense of the word. He had so much love for the both of you that he felt like his heart would burst sometimes.
“I love you so much.” You said to him and he glanced up at you.
“More than Ellie?” He smirked and you chuckled.
“The same, I think.” You hummed and he looked surprised.
“Oh wow, I was expecting a firm no.” He laughed.
“Oh my god…I love you both. It’s a bit different for sure but I somehow get it all to fit in my heart.” You said and he smiled as he stood up.
“Look at her, she’s about to pass out again.” He said as he looked down at the baby.
“I think we should get her back in the crib and have a cuddle. We can watch that show you’ve been pestering me about.” He suggested
“Love is Blind?” You gasped and he nodded. 
Soon enough you had washed your face and brushed your teeth, as you did every morning, all while Harry got Ellie down. But he soon joined you in bed as you waited for him to return. He climbed into the bed beside you and like a magnet, you immediately scooted right up against him and kissed him gently, it caught him by surprise.
“Thank you for letting me sleep in, baby. That was exquisite.” You confessed and he smiled and pecked your lips again.
“Of course, baby. Anytime.” He smiled. “I do have a question for you though…when are we going to have another baby?” He asked you and you giggled.
“Ummm, ask me in a year!” You laughed.
“A year?” He scoffed.
“Hey, it’s hard work!” You added and he smiled.
“Yeah, but it’s so worth it, isn’t it?” He asked with a smile and you sighed happily at his response.
“Yeah…” you hummed, “It’s all worth it.” You smiled.
“Our little family makes me so happy, I just want one more.” He said and you glanced into his eyes.
“Just one more.” You agreed and he chuckled.
“Yeah, just one.” He assured you, “So in a year I’ll ask again, okay?”
“Okay.” You sniggered and kissed him quickly again before you got the show going.
You were explaining a little bit about why you were suddenly so interested in this show without trying to give away too much of what you knew had gone down, thanks to your friends and social media. He easily got sucked into the narrative and when you both started commenting as you watched on you just got so happy that you could share something so simple together and then also something as huge and serious as a baby. It made your tummy flutter and swirl with love for him and you then realized that maybe it would be less than a year before you’d be trying for another baby and you were perfectly alright with that.
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These are the friends who liked the ask with the request for this piece:)
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hsgucci94 · 10 months
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Sexy mama
« Would love one where y/n gets annoyed because Harry won’t have sex because she’s pregnant »
A/N: feel free to send in writing ideas for little stories you wanna read on here 💖 x
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“Are you mad?” Harry rose both eyebrows, watching you move around the kitchen while he stood at the entrance, his shoulder against the doorframe. His eyes were scanning your every move, trying to learn and decode the situation he himself got trapped in a few minutes back. “Love…, c’mon,” he softly called, voice calm but beseeching. He took a step forward, his sock-covered feet now on the the cold tile of your kitchen space.
You didn’t turn to him or react to his words. You acted as if his presence couldn’t be felt, when in reality every part of your body heated right away whenever he was around. Didn’t matter if you were pissed at him and wanted to make him sleep on the couch that night; your body always ignited whenever he was in sight.
Specially these days, when your hormones were hectic…, over the roof. You just couldn’t manage them, and the only thing, the only person who could put them to rest refused to help.
Harry sighed, seeing as you weren’t addressing him at all. “Silence treatment? Is that what I get?”
He then felt brave enough to take another step in your direction, head tilting to the side to try see your countenance and read the emotions spread all over it. But nothing. You had that stoic face that blocked your thoughts and feeling from being perceived by anyone else. And he hated it. Hated not being able to decode you and find out what was going on inside your head.
The room went quiet again, the crunch of the knife as you chopped vegetables being the only sound. And it started to drive him crazy. Chop after chop after chop he became more anxious and worried.
As if there wasn’t any sign before, now it was even more clear you were annoyed by his previous actions.
He passed a hand through his curls, tugging slightly at them to relieve some tension. His eyes scanned you once again before breaking the space between your bodies and walking over to you. He stopped right in front of you, his hips resting against the countertop next to where you were dinner prepping, his arms loosely crossed over his chest.
“Y/N…”
“No,” you warned him before he could go on, eyes never leaving the food in front of you. “If you think I look fat and unattractive right now you can just say it, you know? No need to bullshit me like that.”
You spat the words like venom, like they had been resting in you tongue for sometime now before you had the courage to finally spill them out.
“Hey. Hold on,” Harry reacted, brows pinched together as the frown in his forehead grew stronger. “None of that, Y/N. What the fuck? How can you even suggest that?”
He ventured forward, forcing himself in your line of vision. “Look at me,” he asked, resting a hand over the one you were using to cut the food, wanting you to stop and focus solely on him, “Where’s all this coming from? You can’t just say it and keep on like nothing happened. Talk to me. What’s going on right now?”
Your lip trembled, and you blinked three times as soon as you felt water in your eyes. Your facade fell down completely. You no longer could keep your feelings hidden, in place.
You took a deep breath before looking up at him, his eyes worriedly scanning your features the moment you allowed him to.
“You think I don’t notice?,” you mumbled, “You think I don’t know I look nothing like I did seven months ago?”
His frown accentuated in more confusion.
“You’re pregnant, Y/N,” he stated matter of fact, bringing his hand to your cheek and caressing it, capturing with his thumb the tear that escaped from the corner of your eye. “You’re growing a human being inside you. That’s our baby right there, mama.”
His free hand went to rest on your belly, sweetly stroking it over his t-shirt. Your clothes didn’t fit anymore, so you borrowed his to walk around comfortably. And he didn’t mind. Didn’t mind back then when you wore them just because you wanted to feel him close, and didn’t mind now that it was the only thing that fitted the body of the woman he loved the most.
In fact, he’d never mind. There was nothing as sexy as seeing you in his clothes.
“I know,” you gulped, trying to swallow your need to cry, “But I don’t feel like myself at all. I can’t recognise my body anymore, and the hormones aren’t helping. One second I’m a crying mess and the next a horny teenager. And you don’t even wanna touch me, Harry.”
He felt his heart clenching at your raw confession; at your now no longer hidden insecurities you’d managed to keep to yourself for God knows how long.
“Is that what this is about?,” his voice low as he spoke every word carefully, “I made you feel like that? You think I’m not attracted to you anymore because you’re pregnant? Fuck, no, Y/N. Never.”
“Then?,” you whispered. If you spoke any louder you feared your voice would tremble and you’d break down in front of him. Not that he hadn’t seeing you like that before, but you felt overwhelmed enough and didn’t want to add more fuel to the already existing pile of bitter emotions burning inside you.
Your gaze fell down to the floor, but couldn’t even see it because of the size of your belly. It had gotten so big in the last few weeks you couldn’t put shoes on by yourself. God, you couldn’t even get up from the bed without a helping hand.
Harry cupped your face between his hands, thumbs purposely rubbing your cheeks in tender, sweet strokes. “Listen to me, mama. Pregnant or not, you’re sexy as fuck.” His eyes searched for yours, anxiously wanting for you to believe him. Pleading you to take his words and engrave them in your brain forever. “If I’ve been avoiding you in that sense is only because I don’t wanna hurt you. I’m scared I’m gonna make a wrong move and hurt any of you. I know you’ve been in a lot of physical pain lately and I don’t wanna cause you more, love. That’s all. It’s not that I don’t want to have sex with you, I swear. Pregnant or not you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
His words flew out of his lips hurriedly, as if he was fighting against your mind to see what words you would hang onto first. What words you’d end up believing: your husband’s or those of your treacherous subconscious.
You bit hard the inside of your cheek as you looked up to the ceiling internally begging your tears to evaporate. They were already stinging your eyes, and soon enough ran down your cheeks without your permission, soaking your cheeks and Harry’s fingers.
“Ah, shit. The goddamn hormones,” you groaned in between quiet sobs.
Your husband let out a soft chuckle, his eyes glistening in adoration for you, “C’mere…”
He pulled you to him after drying your tears off with his fingertips, your body resting in between his parted legs while his hands entwined in your back to keep you glued to him. He rested his forehead against yours, and you closed your eyes allowing yourself to embrace the peace he always transmitted you.
“I love you,” Harry reminded you.
“I love you more.”
“Nuh.”
You giggled. “But it’s only fair. There are two hearts inside of me right now, both of them beating with love for you.”
The corners of his mouth widen to form the biggest smile, his dimples and bunny teeth showing, his eyes sparkling happily.
And then it clicked. You understood everything you both wanted and needed was right there.
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writingsfromhome · 5 months
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Impossibly Real
A/N: cute little story about being in a rough dating world and having a nice neighbour friend.
Part 2
———————————————————
I memorize the face on my phone whilst standing in the middle of my building lobby. I study it as if I hadn’t been staring at his pictures since we both swiped right a couple weeks ago.
“Hot date?” A voice calls out. I look up to the source—one of my neighbours with takeaway in one hand and a case of beer in the other. The smell of his dinner makes my stomach rumble—I’d skipped dinner myself for this 8pm date.
“A very hot date,” I respond. Harry was one of the first people I’d interacted with when I moved to this complex a year and a half ago. He’d helped me move my boxed mattress in and I thanked him with a lukewarm beer. Ever since, we’d pick up on conversation every time we saw each other.
Most of those times were when we’d both be rushing out to work in the morning. Sometimes he’d walk to the tube with me, both of us going in opposite directions. Other times his girlfriend would pick him up.
“Let’s see,” he switches his beer to the other hand and holds his hand out.
I pretend to open the app and look for my date’s profile as if it hadn’t been open for the last three hours. He makes a sound of approval when I pass it over.
“Right?” I grin as he scans the profile.
I wasn’t always lucky in love. When Harry first met me I was fresh out of a 3 year relationship, and the only things to follow were bad dates and lonely nights.
“Likes pizza?” Harry says like he’d just caught sight of the guy’s private pictures.
“Yeah? So what?” I feel my defences go up. “Who doesn’t?”
“Yeah but that’s so…basic.” He hands the phone back. “That’s like saying ‘Drinks tea’ or ‘breathes air’.”
“No it’s not!” I wanted this to be a good one so badly, I wouldn’t hear any of Harry’s slander. “It’s relatable, and shows he’s down to earth.”
Harry groans. “Remind me what you do for work?”
I squint at him, unsure where he was going with his. “Analyst.”
“Ah,” he switches his beer back to his other hand and it snaps me out of the moment. I always lost track of time talking to Harry and this couldn’t be one of those times. I had somewhere to be!
“Ah what?” I glance at the door.
“As an analyst you’re used to reading into things-“
“Piss off!” I shut him down. “I’m leaving now.”
“I’m joking!” Harry calls out. “I’m sure he’s a great guy.”
I don’t respond to him as I walk away but he calls out my name.
“You look great, it’ll be a good date.”
“Fingers crossed,” I echo. “Enjoy your night.”
I find a taxi quickly and sit on my hands the whole way there so I don’t pick at my nails. There was no such thing as out of my league, I remind myself. He was just going to be a guy. A good looking guy.
***
“I’m getting a bit tipsy,” Dave admits. It was half past 9 and we’d had 5 drinks total, one of those being a nervous shot when he hadn’t showed up in the first ten minutes.
“We should get something to eat!” I suggest.
He grimaces. “It’s a bit overpriced in here.”
Oh. He was cheap.
That was rude. I snap out of my darkening thoughts. I couldn’t help it: not only was Dave late, he looked 5 years older than his pictures, which wasn’t a bad thing, but he was also 5 inches shorter than his profile stated.
It was awkward when he came in and I got up to hug him. I’d worn my 3 inch heels expecting to still come to his chest but we’d met at eye level instead. I didn’t want to make it awkward so I had sat down quickly. I regretted wearing these heels. They were chaffing against my feet even whilst sitting.
And the whole evening had been stiff conversation, like rubbing sandpaper against itself. It had ended in a dull evening. He was cute. That was all he had going for him.
“There’s a really good pizza place around here!” I say casually, like I hadn’t Googled the vicinity for an hour after we’d made plans. “I heard it was rated top 10 in the city.
His grimace comes back, it made him more unattractive the more he did it.
“I can go for some chips. There’s probably one down the road, you alright for a walk?”
“Great!” Maybe some fresh air and a change of scenery could spice the night up.
He pays the bill—maybe he wasn’t so cheap, I think. That is until we get to the chips shop and he hangs back for me to order for us. And pay.
I can already imagine retelling this date to my girl friends. They were all engaged or married so my dating stories were always amusing content for our hangouts.
Crossing from 20 to 30 made the stories more tragic than amusing, but I lived to laugh and that’s what I usually did after getting over bad dates like this one.
“It’s a nice night,” Dave says when we get our chips. He douses his in ketchup like a toddler would. Gah!
“It is…”
“Let’s take these outside.”
I’d rather not, with my heels digging into the backs of my feet and the blisters chafing against the fake leather. But I agree.
“So what’s with the pink?” He asks randomly.
“What?” I say over a mouthful of chip. I didn’t care how disgusting I was at this point. He’d done the bill-for-a-bill thing without asking and I’d lost any hope I had for the evening. I may as well be gross.
“The pink, you’ve got it at the bottoms of your hair and your earrings, your lips and your skirt and your heels-“
“I like pink.”
“That’s obvious,” he says dryly. “Is there a story behind it or something? Usually only schoolgirls wear their favourite colour that much.”
And usually only younger boys have fries with they ketchup rather ketchup with their fries, I want to say. But I keep my mouth shut.
“I think it’s overrated that getting older means getting all serious and boring. Pink’s my favourite colour and the world can know it. Be brighter for knowing it too.”
I keep my tone light yet Dave seems to takes my personal philosophy as a direct attack.
“But it’s a bit juvenile isn’t it? You don’t have to be boring just because you’re an adult but no one’s going to take you much seriously all dressed in pink. It’s a bit childish.”
“Not childish enough for you to want to go on a date with me,” I say. My pink hair was on display in my profile as well as many pink outfits throughout my linked Instagram. I know he’d seen it.
“That’s not what I’m talking about, not like that.” He backtracks. His face turns my favourite colour, even in the dark.
“When grown men are obsessed with Star Wars or Lord of the Rings or whatever, nobody bats an eye. They show up with fictional characters on their shirt and tattooed on their arms and it’s all dandy. But you think the world’s going to take me less seriously because I wear a lot of pink?”
“Okay I think there’s been a misunderstanding here.” Dave backs down like I knew he would. I’d known too many boys like him, who charged up when they thought they had an ounce of intellect over me. Reciprocate with even an ounce of assertive energy and they back down like a well-trained dog.
This night was tragic. My hopes up for nothing. And my feet were blistered for no damn reason.
“I think we’ve understood each other just fine.” I wipe my hands on a napkin and toss the rest of my chips away, ignoring the look Dave gives me. “It was a night, I’m going to head home now.”
“Look I-“
“Goodnight.” I walk away. I had no idea what direction but as long as I can end the night with the hope-zapper Dave.
***
On the lift up to my flat I look at myself in the mirror. Dead eyes, flushed and puffy face from the alcohol, and my hair was voluminous from the windy night air. I couldn’t wait to get to my flat and take my stupid heels off. They were so painful they’d now actually gone numb.
My phone rings as I get to my door. Dave. The nerve of that guy!
I put it on silent and fish out my keys but my phone buzzes a second time and I drop them.
“Fuck!” I say just as the door behind me opens.
“Woah!” Harry steps back into his flat after nearly tripping over my crouched figure.
“Ugh sorry,” I stand back up, keys looped around my finger.
“You’re back early.” Harry slowly eyes me from top to bottom. It makes my stomach feel like a washing machine on high. “Nice night with pizza guy?”
“Pizza guy was just like the others.”
I lean against my door and ignore my phone that’s now gone off for the third time in my purse.
“Fair enough. He did say he likes pizza.”
“Don’t make fun of me,” I whine. “I just wasted £30 on shite company.”
“Can I offer you a beer or have you had too many?”
I look down at my watch. It was half past 10, and I had work tomorrow but life was short and I was miserable so I follow Harry in.
“I’ll just toss this later.”
It’s only then I realize Harry had a trash bag in his hands and he was in his boxers and a robe. He rests the bag near his door and motions to the fridge as he walks down his hall. “Grab me one too?”
I’d been in Harry’s flat a few time, once when I baked too many sugar cookies for Christmas and he invited me in to eat with him. Another time when he was having a birthday party. I had thought it was cute his friends had done that for him old school. The last time was when my wifi stopped working one weekend and I had to ask him to use his. That was a nice day, both of us were going through busy season and had worked side by side on our laptops until Harry announced we were losers and should stop working to get dinner and watch a movie. That was one of my favourite days living in this complex so far.
I’m still standing in his kitchen when he comes out with sweatpants.
“Why are you still standing there?”
I look down at my shoes and so does he.
“Don’t you want to take those off?” Harry lifts one brow, confused.
“I’m scared.” I say. I didn’t know what I’d find. I felt like I was standing in a pool of blood.
“Why?” Harry was lucky he didn’t know the fear of taking off awful shoes after a long day of breaking them in. Men were lucky that way.
I shift my heel away from the back of the shoe and pain shoots up. It sounds sticky. I whimper. “Can you get me a chair?”
“What did you wear?” Harry’s staring at them with a mixture of fear and confusion. He carries one of his dining chairs to me. “Those are like, torture heels.”
“Tonight was torture.” I sit down and cross my foot over my knee. I take a deep breath. Harry hovers above me not able to look away. “Here goes nothing.”
I pry the shoe away and nearly cry.
“Oh my god!” Harry shouts. “Yo-you’re bleeding! What the f-“
“Oh my god,” I was dripping onto his floor. “Can I get-“
“Tissue!” Harry’s already throwing me his roll but I knock it away.
“I need help. Getting. To the bathroom.”
“Right right.” Harry kicks my shoe away and leans down so I can wrap my arm around his shoulder. I feel like an injured football player but so much more pathetic as I limp to his bathroom.
He sets me down on his toilet seat and blasts the tub with water.
“Sorry,” I limp to the edge of his bathtub and swing myself so that my feet dangle in. “I didn’t mean to intrude on your night.”
“I’m glad you did,” Harry’s voice still carries a hint of shock. “What is wrong with you? That’s diabolical you wearing shoes like that! What’s wrong with trainers? Or sandals? Don’t girls like strap sandals?”
“It just comes with being a woman okay?” I couldn’t answer all his questions. “I still need to take off the other one.”
I was more scared for my right foot than my left.
“Just…deal with that.”
Harry’s tub is filling with water and it stings everywhere it touches my foot. But especially my heel and all of my toes. I switch the knob to cold.
“Okay,” I take a deep breath. “The other fucking shoe.”
I can feel Harry peering over my shoulder. This one feels glued on and I squeal as I comes off. My foot looked like a bruised and crusted mess.
“Holy sh-“ Harry whispers. I dunk it fast in the running water and nearly topple backwards but Harry catches me with his knee and then stays there so I have somewhere to lean. It was nice.
“Bloody hell,” I swear as my feet sting and paint the water pink. “Genuinely so sorry about this.”
“Don’t be.” Harry shakes his head. “But please toss those shoes in the bin and never wear something like that again.”
“That’s impossible.”
“It’s not. It’s very possible.”
“I love heels! I just need to break these in.”
“They’re breaking you love.”
I feel him stiffen behind me which makes me suddenly self-conscious. I didn’t really read into his words, love was just a term of affection used around my friends. But apparently it wasn’t something Harry used lightly.
“They are. These ones are going in the bin, DNA and all.” I try to continue casually. This was so weird. Weirder than it needed to be given Harry and I were mates at most; I’d met his girlfriend, I didn’t think of him anything more than a neighbourhood friend. We certainly hadn’t hung out outside our flats before.
“Maybe burn them to be sure,” Harry finally responds. His voice is a bit rougher than before. “Don’t want to get accidentally framed with the free DNA.”
“I’m pretty sure I’d be too obvious a murderer to commit anything stealthily. They’d identify the pink-haired giant walking away.”
“You’re not a giant. You’re not even 6 feet.”
“I’m nearly 5’9 which is tall enough for a woman.”
“I don’t think so.” Harry brushes my hair behind my shoulder and a shiver runs up my spine. Maybe I should turn the icy water off. “Plus I like the pink. Makes you more interesting to look at.”
“So I’m not interesting to look at regularly?” I tease. I look up at him and the back of my head hits his thigh.
I see his adam’s apple bob and I suddenly feel vulnerable sitting here like this. I lean forward so my feet are steadied against the tub which is agonizing for my bloody feet but at least I wasn’t leaning against him.
“I said more interesting.”
The room grows quiet and I try not to read into it. Harry thought I was interesting to look at. Okay.
I turn the tap off and the silence in the room becomes unbearable.
“Have you got any plasters?” I turn inch by inch so I don’t slip on the lip of the tub or need more help from Harry. The energy in here was weird and him touching me was going to make it weirder.
“Yeah,” he’s eager to leave only to come back laughing. “They’re actually here. I…”
He opens a drawer and pulls a box out along with a tiny vial.
I take it from him, some sort of ointment oil. Why not.
“Motherf-“ I bite my lip as the ointment stings my cuts. “Why wouldn’t you warn me!”
Harry laughs again and it eases the tension a little. “I thought you knew it would burn!”
“I don’t treat cuts often jeez!”
“Sorry! That friend—you met him at my party, black curly hair, the one who does custom stuff?”
“Oh yeah I remember.”
“I helped him out one summer. I had to hand cut all these signs using one of those exacto blades? Cut my hands up so many times I had to buy something for them after one of them got infected.”
I wrinkle my nose at the idea of an infected cut and douse my other foot in the oil, swearing as I take the pain.
“I have a roll and cotton if you want to bandage your foot?” Harry suggests. “I don’t know if regular plasters cut it.”
“That’s so dramatic,” I usually stuck a couple plasters on and got on with it. But this was also the worst I’d ever had with breaking shoes in.
“Let me-“
“No!” I push Harry’s shoulder away as he leans down with the roll of bandage he’d procured. “Harry do not touch my foot!”
“I’ve dressed grosser,” he holds my heel gently and I try to yank it away again without falling into the tub but it’s impossible. I settle for pushing him away.
“Harry please! I’ve intruded enough stop touching my disgusting foot!”
“I’ve seen you wash it. It’s not disgusting, just bloody. Now stop squirming about!”
“Why are you…” I trail away because he wasn’t listening. He dabs my foot with a cotton pad and then begins the process of bandaging my heel and then my toe. I try not to squirm at how embarrassing this was.
Harry’s gentle and attentive as he moves on to the other foot which should make me feel okay but only adds to the humiliation. We were so not close enough to do this—I don’t even know if I’d do the same for him.
Another part of me knows I would. Despite knowing him in passing, plus a few solid occasions, I could tell Harry was one of the good guys. He was always chivalrous around the building, friendly in any interaction I’d seen with him, loved enough to be thrown a surprise birthday party, and caring enough to always ask about how I was doing. And to do this.
When he glances up I don’t expect it. Our gazes clash and the weird energy from before creeps in again.
“Sorted,” he lets my foot down gently.
“Harry I owe you like…a massive dinner, and drinks are on me forever forward.”
“That’s not necessary,” he chuckles as he puts his little first aid kit back. “Just don’t wear heels like that again please. It’s not worth it.”
“They’re so pretty though,” I sigh. They’re now discarded on the tiled floor, the insides bloody.
“Let’s get you that beer,” he holds a hand out.
“I can’t. I’ve kept you late and you probably-“
“One beer.”
“I don’t want to intrude-“
“Just one,” his tone is gentle but he’s not taking no for an answer.
“Fine!” I admit defeat. He helps me up and together I limp to his couch.
We sit in silence for a bit while we drink. I don’t know what he’s thinking about, but the events of the evening play in my head.
“He actually insulted me.” I blurt. Before he can ask questions I explain. “Firstly he was late, then he was droning on and on about shit I don’t even remember anymore. Then he was cheap about food, but because he paid for drinks he got me to pay for chips. Then he said I wear too much pink and nobody would take me seriously as an adult. That it was childish.”
“Really?” Harry leans forward from his end of the couch. “He said all that?”
“Yeah! I said men are allowed to wear their Star Wars shirts and Lord of the Rings bullshite. And when a woman wears more than one article of pink she’s childish?”
“What a prick.”
“I know!”
“You’re too good for someone like that.”
“Thank you,” I sit back, seen and validated.
“The pink makes you cool, stand out in a crowd. He’s just blind to look at you and think that. Or he’s just intimidated.”
“Oh yeah he lied about his height! So I stood there in those stupid pink heels taller than him.”
“That must have got him,” Harry grins. “I actually love that story.”
His words warm me.
“You’re so nice Harry,” I tell him. “Honestly you’re like a gem of a guy.”
“I’m not that nice-“
“Don’t tell me you’re a bad boy or something because you’re a solid good guy. Rare. Never change.”
“Hmph,” he clears his throat.
“Your girlfriend’s lucky. A lot of us have to put up with trolls before we find a good guy like you.”
Harry stays silent. Maybe I’d said too much. Maybe I should stop drinking.
“We broke up. Wasn’t good enough for her.”
Shite. Blistered, bloody, bandaged foot directly in mouth..
“I-I’m sorry. To hear that! Oh my god yeah I guess I haven’t seen her in a while-“
“Yeah been a few months now. I’m mostly over it.”
“How long were you two dating again?”
“Almost 3,” Harry twists his mouth to the side. I’d never seen him look bitter before. “I accepted it, the end of us. Until I hear from a friend she jumped right into another relationship. So…that must have been behind the scenes near the end of our relationship.”
Bitter indeed. “That’s a shitty way to find out too.”
“I wish she was just honest. Y’know like, I met someone else whatever. At least that way I took the hit at once and then got over it. Instead after a month of moving on I just got punched all over again.”
“That’s a dick move.” I agree. “I’ve seen you so many times the last few months why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugs, “I didn’t want to bring down the mood. Felt too loaded for a conversation on the lift.”
“You could have saved it for a walking-to-the-tube conversation?”
“Then just part ways after dropping that on you?”
“Isn’t that perfect?” I tease and he covers his face. I change the subject. “My 3.5 year relationship ended when he said he didn’t see me as marriage material.”
“I thought it was a mutual breakup?” Harry asks. I’m surprised he remembers what I told him when I first moved in.
“I lied. I didn’t want you to see me as your pathetically lonely neighbour.”
He laughs at that. At least I’d gotten a smile back on his face. “I thought it was a bit suspicious but I didn’t push it. Every time I saw you when you first moved in it always looked like you cried.”
“Oh my god!” I cover my face. “Don’t tell me that! That’s so embarrassing!”
It was true. I cried for three weeks straight after the breakup but I also thought I was sly enough to get around unnoticed.
“It’s not a big deal! I used to worry about you.”
“That’s another thing that’ll keep me up at night now—but see that’s sweet! You barely knew me and you worried. Like! You were raised right.”
“Sure,” he smiles my way with a laugh in his eyes. He was enjoying making me squirm but it’s this smile, one I’d never seen before directed at me, that made me squirm the most.
“Okay now stop being sweet and kick me out.” I gingerly stand and suck up the fresh pain that comes back.
“You can stay as long a-“
“Harry.” I look at him seriously. “I know we both work demanding jobs, and that’s what we have to do tomorrow morning. It’s past midnight and I should go.”
He sighs and gets up to help me hobble to his door.
“Good thing I live next door—oh my shoes. They’re in your-“
“I’ll get them to you later.” He promises.
“You just want to try them on in private.” I tease as he opens his door. He waits while I fish through my purse again for my keys. I remember then the missed calls from Dave—that feels so long ago.
“I like my feet whole.” He chuckles. “Plus I’m tall enough.”
“Some girls think 6 feet is short.”
“How do you know I’m 6 feet?”
I turn my key and let my door swing open.
“I’m good at telling heights.”
“What’s your secret?”
“Well,” I turn back to him and put my hand on my head. “I get my height and then just measure against the person. I gauge the inches which if I’m close enough-“ Harry moved closer to me so there’s only a few inches between us. “Uhm. If I’m close enough it’s easy to count up or down.”
“So you count up-“
“Three or so inches.” I look up, determined to meet his eye. It was just Harry. I didn’t need to feel weird around my neighbour Harry.
But I can’t look away. I never noticed the depth of his eyes; they’re mesmerizing and I can’t look away.
“It’s a neat party trick.” He says so low, but we’re so close it’s loud as hell to my ears. Or maybe that’s the blood rushing through my head.
“Don’t really go to enough parties to turn it into a trick.” My voice comes out squeaky and I clear my throat. “Mostly useful to compare a dating profile to the real thing.”
“Hm,” he hums. His fingers toy with the pinks of my hair before draping it behind my shoulder.
“I should go.” I say for the millionth time.
He looks at me again and I forget why I should go. His gaze drops to my lips and I feel hot—hotter than the pain on my bloody feet.
“You’re the real thing.”
It’s unconscious, the way I arch up to him. It’s natural, the way he meets me halfway. It’s unforgettable, the way his soft lips feel on mine.
Until I lean my weight on my toes and I’m reminded of my broken feet, this evening, and who I was kissing.
I couldn’t be kissing my neighbour! I saw him nearly every damn day!
“Har-“ I push gently at his chest and he’s quick to move back.
“Sorry I-that-“
“No I’m sorry that was me-“
“We should…”
“Yeah.” I grasp behind my back until my hand touches my doorframe. “Um…thanks for everything. Tonight.”
“Yeah.” Harry’s flushed and somehow more attractive than I’ve ever noticed. He also has a smidge of pink lipstick at the corner of his mouth but I file that away for later. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight!” I turn and quickly close my door, knowing Harry was not going to be the first to leave. Despite my head telling me not to, I turn and peep through the peephole. He’s still leaning against his doorframe, head bowed, running his hand through his hair. I watch him mutter something and then go in. I stay there until the automatic light switches off and then sink to the floor.
Harry. Friendly, funny, neighbour Harry. He’d dressed my bloody feet, served me beer, and then kissed me.
I touch my lips. I wasn’t even mad about it. This was going to be complicated no doubt, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
***
I manage to avoid Harry for a week. Which is a pretty impressive feat given our doors nearly open onto each others.
But he catches me on the lift after work one day. There’s already two others beside me and Harry nearly misses the lift, slipping in just as it’s closing. He does a double take when he sees me.
“Hey.”
“Hey!” Everything was normal. Everything was fine.
“Smart choice of shoes.”
We look down at my Stan Smiths.
“I’ve learned my lesson…for now.” I look back up at the row of numbers. The lift stops on floor 5 and the couple get out.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” He states simply when the door closes.
“I have not!” I finally look at him and nearly lose my breath. When did he become so attractive?!
“We see each other almost every day living the way we do. And you’re telling me we managed to miss each other for a week?”
I shrug, “it’s been a weird week.”
“When did the weird week start?”
Saved by the bell. The doors open to our floors with a ding, but Harry blocks me from my front door.
“Are you serious?” I try to sidestep him but he stays in my path.
“We should talk.”
“We’re talking now.”
“C’mon.” He sighs and moves out of my way. I sigh myself before opening my door and leaving it open behind me. He takes the hint.
“I want to apologize for that night.” Harry says. “I was just feeling vulnerable and it shouldn’t have happened-“
“You’re joking right? I was going on about how good you were and I got a little too into it I think. I totally kissed you so I’m sorry. For making it weird-“
“I kissed you,” Harry tries to correct me.
“No I kissed you so I should apolog-“
“No.” Harry cuts me off.
“Why are we arguing about this?” I throw my hands up. We’re standing in the entryway going back and forth about this. It was stupid. “We’re both sorry. It shouldn’t have happened. Let’s just move on okay?”
“Okay,” he agrees. “So we’re friends? You’re not going to avoid me in the building?”
“No.” I put my hands on my hips. “Cuz I wasn’t avoiding you in the first place.”
He laughs, throwing his head back and my breath catches. I lied. I wasn’t sorry I kissed him but I was sorry it ruined our friendship. Damnit.
“You’re impossible.”
“I thought I was the real thing?” I ask without thinking.
Slightly healed, but still bruised foot, directly in mouth!!!
“Impossible things can be real,” Harry’s mood changes. He stands taller and he takes a step towards me. “Do…do you want us to just move on?”
I don’t know how to answer that.
“I…we live right next to each other Harry. It’s-“
“Unconventional but not impossible.”
“Impossible.”
“But it can still be real.”
I can’t help it. I grin at how serious he was being with his play on words. He was serious about this though. It scared me a little.
“A date.”
“What about it?” I ask.
“We go on a date, see how things are. It they’re weird we go back to friends like we always were. If it’s good…”
“Okay. How about Friday?” I wanted this as much as it seemed like he wanted it. Dating was hard, apps were impossible. This good and kind man standing in front of me was impossible and real.
“Friday’s perfect. Wednesday would be even better.”
“Today is Wednesday.” I say before realizing what he meant.
“It is.”
“Okay. Pick me up at 7?”
“I’ll be on time.” Harry’s grin is contagious.
“Great.” I watch him walk back to the door.
“One favour?” He asks. I ask him what it is. “Wear something pink?”
“Most definitely.” My heart surges and I feel seen. So seen.
I think he was the real thing too. Impossibly real. And possibly something more than neighbourly friends.
Excited and hopeful were an understatement. I couldn’t wait.
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ggrapeejuicee · 2 months
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Right Person. Wrong Time
harry styles angst
summary: Harry’s fame puts you in danger, and he can’t let himself be the reason you get hurt
word count: 1.1k
— — —
Harry was half way through a residency as Madison Square Garden. The whole world loved him. He’d been crowned the new king of pop.
You’d left the show half way through to grab some food, and ended up wandering to take in the pretty lights of the city.
He’d barely spoken to you this morning, leaving the hotel room barely uttering a goodbye. He didn’t tell you his plans for after the show or what time he’d be back at. The past few days he’d been distant. It was unlike him considering how close you’d been for the past few months.
Apart from rehearsals and performing you’d been practically inseparable since you started dating, but now it sort of felt like he was slipping away.
He got back to the hotel room after midnight, you had reruns of an old sitcom from your childhood playing on the TV while you had been waiting for him.
“You’re late tonight.” You smile at him as he comes through the door.
“Yeah.” He says gruffly.
“You okay?” You ask, “You’re usually in a more talkative mood.”
“Been a long day.” He shrugged.
“Yeah I get it. I just feel like we haven’t spent much time together recently.”
“Yeah, because I’m working.” He snapped, “I’ve had a show like every day.”
“No, I know that-”
“Well clearly not.”
“I was just trying to be nice, no need to go all moody on me.” You roll your eyes.
“You just don’t understand what it’s like for me.”
“I don’t understand?” You scoffed, “Harry I’ve given up everything for you. I cancelled the lease on my apartment, I quit my job, I left my fiancée. Just so I could come with you on this damn tour.”
“I didn’t fucking ask you to do any of that.” He said angrily, “You done all of that on your own, don’t fucking blame that on me.”
“Stop yelling at me.”
“Then stop being a fuckin’ brat.”
You shook your head, not believing what was happening right now.
“I told you that this wasn’t going to work out, right from the beginning. I told you we should’ve just left it in Miami, but you wanted to keep it going.”
“We both wanted to keep it going, you were just too much of a coward to commit yourself to it. You can’t commit, Harry, to anything.”
He slammed his fist against the wall, knuckles turning red with the force he hit the plasterboard. His face was red with anger. With a combination of his drunken state and the heat of this argument, this was one of the worst tempers you’d ever seen from him.
“I commit. I commit every single day. To this job, this life.”
“But you can’t commit to me?” You shout, tears welling up in your eyes, “I’m just asking for a little respect here.”
“This just isn’t working out.” He said.
You’d tried to stay strong throughout this, but as soon as those words left his lips you couldn’t help but to start crying. Tears flowed down your cheeks and sobs escaped your mouth.
Harry just stood and watched.
He stood emotionless, watching you break down in front of him, every emotion you were feeling was caused by him and he looked as if he didn’t care.
“I think you should go back to Miami. Coming on the rest of the tour isn’t a good idea.”
You felt sick. You felt like you were going to vomit everywhere. A mixture of different thoughts flooded your brain.
Where would you go? You had no apartment.
How would you get a flight? You had no money.
Harry had made a promise to you that he’d take care of you while he was on the road, and now he’s here breaking that promise in a million different ways.
“You’re an asshole.”
“You should’ve listened to me before. This wouldn’t be happening right now.”
“So what went wrong, huh? You bored of me? You found someone else? Or has the alcohol just made you honest for the first time since I’ve known you.”
“God, I’ve not found someone else. There is no one else can’t you fucking see that?”
“Then why are you doing this? Why are you hurting me for no reason.” It was hard to breathe through the crying. It had already been a long day, but coming home to this had made it so much worse, “You’re standing there watching me get myself into such a state and you look like you couldn’t care less.“
“There’s always a reason.” He shouts, “Always a fucking reason.”
“Then you need to tell me. Help me understand why you’re just giving up on this. On us.”
Your heart was beating out your chest. This man, in the few months you had been together, had become your whole life. And now you were loosing him for what seemed like forever.
“If something happened to you I’d never forgive myself.”
“Nothings going to happen, you’re being ridiculous.”
“Those photographers yesterday were just the start. Ever since people found out about us, your whole safety has been jeopardised. I will not let anything happen to you because of me.”
“Harry-”
“No.” He interrupts, “You wanted an explanation so let me talk.”
“As long as you’re with me you’re not safe. People will stalk you and invade on your privacy for as long as I’m in the public eye. This isn’t the life either of us want for you.”
“I don’t give a shit about all of that, I just want you.”
“I can’t let you give up all your privacy just for me. That’s not fair.”
“This should be my decision, Harry.” You argue.
He shakes his head.
“Why couldn’t you just tell me, instead of putting on the whole asshole act.”
“I needed you to listen. I still need you to listen.”
“I am listening.”
“Well you’re not hearing me properly then. We need to be over. We can’t keep this,” He gestures between you both, “up, because it means you’re not safe.”
“Then up the security, get me a bodyguard.”
He shakes his head, and for the first time since this conversation began you could see sadness in his eyes.
“You and I both know that you don’t want a bodyguard following you around for the rest of your life.”
He reaches for your hand, placing his lips against the back of it softly.
“I’ll sort out a flight and somewhere for you to stay, don’t worry about that. This isn’t what I want to happen, it’s what needs to happen. And if somehow, somewhere in the future we’re brought back together then we will be. Just… Not right now.”
Deep down you knew he was right. The insane photographer trying to get in your cab the other night was a step too far, and no doubt something like that could happen again on a bigger more dangerous scale.
But you didn’t want to loose him.
Right person. Wrong time.
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freedomfireflies · 10 months
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Destiny
Summary: You’ll lose Harry on August 17th, 2029.
They’ll say it was a freak accident. That nobody could have seen it coming. Nobody could have stopped it.
But you can.
And you will.
Word Count: 1.6k
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“I’m not sure. I swear, it was right here on the dresser.”
“I’ll have Anthony check again. We might be able to find a copy somewhere in the office. Or maybe we can find the file through email.”
“Yeah, that sounds good. Let me know. I was really looking forward to it.”
“Will do. Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”
Harry nods to his manager, who disappears down the corridor of the arena, before he leans against the wall and hangs his head.
Your heart hammers inside your chest as that familiar ringing returns to your ears. 
There he is.
He’s so close. So fucking close, you can almost smell his vanilla cologne. Can almost feel his soft curls run through your fingers or feel his lips on your neck.
Hear his voice in your ear.
Your body aches to be near him. Every muscle, every nerve-ending, every joint vibrates with the need to be close. To walk over to him, throw your arms around his neck, and bury your face in his chest.
To hold onto him one last time.
But you can’t. You made a deal.
You do this…and you move on.
Harry sighs to himself and looks back up at the ceiling, hands digging into his pockets.
You know what this means. He’s stressed. Aggravated over something he can’t control, and annoyed with himself for being unable to fix it.
In the future, when he'll get frustrated, you’ll press a kiss to his palm, whisper three, “I love you’s,” and count with him to ten.
He’ll remember to breathe, to relax, and to handle the problem one step at a time.
You wish you could do that now.
But this Harry doesn’t know you. He hasn’t met you yet.
He doesn’t love you yet.
And he never will.
You take a deep breath and glance down at the envelope in your pocket that you’d snuck from his dressing room. The same envelope Jeff is currently on a mission to find.
But he won’t find it. There’s no other copy in existence and there won’t be again.
You promised.
If he never goes on that trip to Italy, then he never meets Alexander. And if he never meets Alexander, then he never agrees to the tour around Europe. And if he never agrees to the tour around Europe, then he’ll never be in that car on August 17th at 5:03 P.M. 
He’ll never be flipped over seven times before the vehicle crashes into the wall.
He’ll never attempt to crawl to you and drag you to safety.
He’ll never realize he’s bleeding out faster than either of you can stop it, and he’ll never collapse onto the streets of Barcelona.
You’ll never lose him.
You made a deal that day. Some deity in the universe found you begging anyone that would listen to give you one more chance.
And they decided to give it to you.
They’d let you come back and keep him from finding that envelope. The very envelope that would set everything in motion.
They’d allow you to stop him.
They’d allow you to save his life.
Even if it means he'll never meet you.
Because you and he will bump into each other at a cafe in Paris on March 5th, 2025. He’ll already be waiting there to conduct a meeting with Alexander. The same meeting where they’ll choose the dates for the tour. 
The day they’ll choose to send him to Barcelona.
He’ll notice your dress first and he’ll stop you to tell you that it’s his favorite color. And you’ll blush wildly once you realize who he is and thank him profusely for taking the time to speak with you.
He’ll offer to buy you a croissant and you’ll laugh at his attempt at a French accent. Then you’ll part ways for about half an hour as he and Alexander talk while you return to your chai in the corner of the restaurant.
But he’ll stop by your small table before he leaves. He’ll tell you his name and ask for yours.
You’ll give it to him.
And from that moment on, neither of your lives will ever be the same.
You’d thought long and hard about the decision before agreeing to this second chance. Wondering if there was any other way you could warn him and keep him out of that car without having to lose him completely.
Destiny said no.
As long as your soul is intertwined with his, he will always meet the same fate. 
The only way to save him…is to let him go.
You hear Harry curse to himself as he runs a hand through his hair, tugging on it until he winces. 
The last fragile shard of your heart shatters when you see him drop into a crouch, head cradled in his palms.
“The fuck is wrong with me?” you hear him mumble, the hauntingly familiar question echoing between the empty arena walls until it finds you.
He’s asked himself that at least a hundred times throughout your relationship.
Your answer is always the same:
“Nothing,” you’ll whisper before taking him into your arms. “Nothing, H. You’re perfectly imperfect and I love you.”
He’ll melt in your embrace before allowing himself to sink into your body. “I love you.”
You’d give anything to offer him that comfort now.
Not that he’d know what to do with it.
Suddenly, his head lifts, eyes drifting around the white corridors in thought before they find you.
Your breath catches as you scramble to hide around the corner, pulse racing as you hear him stand, his shoes squeaking along the linoleum floors.
“Hello?”
Your eyes squeeze shut, back pressing into the wall. “Sorry,” you call, silently commanding him not to come over. “Just…looking for the bathroom. My bad.”
But you hear him approach. Hear his feet lead him to you in a way that almost feels…destined.
You’re frozen to your spot, acutely aware of the way you should be heading for the exit. You did what you came to do. He’s safe…and you need him to stay that way.
But you couldn’t resist one final look. One final glimpse of the man that had asked you to marry him only moments before getting into that damned car.
His head peeks out from behind the wall to look for you, brows raising when he sees the way you’re cowering away from him. 
“Are you all right?” he asks, and his voice holds the same compassion he’s demonstrated with you a hundred times before. Despite the fact that he doesn’t know you now…he still cares.
One of the many reasons you fell in love with him. His kindness for everybody.
“Yes, sorry,” you repeat, eyes falling to his shoes. You can’t look at him. “I just…couldn’t find the bathroom.”
“I get it.” He laughs. And the sound makes your stomach rip down the middle. “S’place is huge. You wanna go down this hallway, make a right, follow that hallway…and then it should be on your left.”
You nod without lifting your head. “Thanks. Sorry again for bothering you.”
“No, don’t be,” he insists. “I was just…taking a minute.”
“Yeah,” you reply, and your voice is small. Weighed down by the burden of your grief. “Sometimes we need a minute. Or two.”
“Or twenty,” he adds, chuckling again. “I swear, sometimes I think I have a handle on this shit, and sometimes…it feels like it's completely out of my hands. Like somebody else is pulling the strings and I’m just…along for the ride.”
Your throat constricts as the imminent tears rush to your eyes. “Yeah.”
He pauses and you can feel his eyes on the top of your head. He’s studying you. Your body language, your demeanor, your voice. Looking for something. Looking for what’s wrong.
He did this all the time when you were first dating.
Eventually, he learned to read you like a book.
“Seriously, are you all right?” he asks again, softer this time. Hoping to coax a real answer out of you.
No. No, you’re not all right. How are you supposed to tell him goodbye? How are you supposed to look at the man that asked you to marry him and see that he has no idea who you are?
And that he never will?
How are you supposed to walk through those double doors when you know that the moment you do…you’ll forget. You’ll forget him, you’ll forget your relationship, and you’ll forget the fact that you lost him.
And maybe that’s okay because at least then, you’ll forget that you watched him die. Forget that you watched the life leave his eyes as his hand went limp in yours.
He’d made you promise you’d be okay.
And it was the last thing he ever did.
You don’t know if he’d approve of this. You don’t think he would.
But you’d rather have his life than his love.
You take a deep breath and force your shoulders back. “Yes, sorry. Just taking a minute myself.”
He hums. “Yeah. I get that. Life is…hard.”
“Very,” you whisper before you trail your eyes to his.
He smiles.
And it almost guts you.
“Try…counting to ten,” you say as you take a step back, putting a lifetime of distance between you. “Whenever I’m upset, I just take a deep breath, hold it, and count to ten. And when I’m done…everything doesn’t feel so…loud.”
He seems intrigued by this premise, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a smirk as he nods once. “Yeah. I’ll try that.”
You nod yourself and turn on your heel. You don’t want to leave him but you can’t stay.
Destiny is calling you back.
You make it about three steps before a hand snatches onto your wrist and spins you around.
You know this touch. Know what it means, and you can’t force yourself to see him as he steps closer.
“Wait,” he murmurs, and there’s an urgency woven between each syllable that springs the tears to your waterline.
You go still.
"I know you..." he whispers, eyes trailing over the side of your face, "...don't I?"
Even now, the echo of his love calls out for you.
You swallow every truth you wish you could tell him, and slip yourself from his touch for the last time.
“You used to.”
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~ Other Harry Blurbs
~ Full Masterlist
Taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @keepdrivingkisses @swiftmendeshoran @tiredinwinter
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harriet13lovely · 7 months
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Lola- HS
Part 1- 6-7k words
Lola's whole purpose in life was to be the wife of the Don of the biggest Mafia in the world. Ever since she was a little girl she was told about Harry and how they would make the perfect couple when they got married later on life. Lola didn't know much about Harry himself, she had only heard story's about him and had had dinners with him and his family ever since she turned 15 four years ago. They were never allowed to talk outside of these dinners though, Lola was still too young and Harry was already too busy for anything apart from work.
Since she was to be Harry's wife, his family had always provided for her. They made sure she was placed in the best schools and had all the best pieces of clothing and makeup. Harry's mom would take her shopping once a month for anything she could want. Once she turned 16 she was given a credit card that was funded by Harry, it had no limit so she could spend as much money as she wanted. Lola rarely ever used it, her parents gave her money too so she found no interest in spending Harry's money.
Lola was as of three hours ago officially 19. She had been awoken by knock on the door at around 8:30. It was her mother and father, they had breakfast and a boquete of flowers with them. After congratulating her they talked for a while as she ate breakfast. At 9 her parents left her to begin getting ready, Lola took a shower and did her skincare. Once she was done she walked out of her room and took a look out her window. Her party was being set up outside in the garden of her house. She could see her mother talking with the party organizers and one of the contractors that had provide all the utilities.
"Come in." She said after hearing a knock on the door. She turned around as the door opened and found her little brother standing there. He was still in his pjs and looked like he had just woken.
"What's up?" Lola asks him but gets no response, instead he walks over to her and wraps his arms around her waist. He was only 8 and was incredibly affectionate. Still too innocent to the world they lived in.
"Happy Birthday." He says and looks up at her.
"Thank you." She bends down and picks him up. Even though he was getting bigger and taller by the day, to Lola he was still a baby. She was 11 when he was born and she very much saw him as her own kid. He wrapped his arms around her neck and legs around her waist.
"I heard that you're leaving." He whispers.
"Who told you that?"
"Dad was talking about it over the phone. I don't want you to leave." He hugs her tighter and it makes Lola want to cry, the last thing she wants to do is to leave him alone. But she truly has no choice, Harry would most likely propose to her at the party and she would have to say yes. After that she would have to move in with Harry and plan the wedding with him.
"I won't lie and say that I'm not leaving because I am. But I will be here every weekend with you, mom, and dad. You won't even notice I'm gone." She walks over to her bed and sits the both of them down.
"It won't be the same." James says and begins crying.
"James, I will always be your big sister and you will always be my baby brother. I'm always gonna be here for you Jamsie." Lola wipes the tears that where falling from James's eyes.
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Lola played him a movie on her TV while she got ready for the day. She had changed right after her shower into cream shorts and a navy blue jumper. She let James "do" her makeup in hopes it would cheer him up. And it did, he became a giggling mess after smudging a lot of blush all over her nose.
"Lo, Emma is here." Her mom said as she opened the door to her bedroom. Emma was Harry's mom, she had been involved in Lola's life since she was a baby. She cleaned off the blush from her nose and put on her shoes.
Lola walked downstairs to the living room and found Emma sitting there talking with the organizer of her party who looked rather stressed. She felt bad for the man, the pressure he must feel from her mom and Emma must be getting to him.
"There's the birthday girl!" Emma stands up and wraps her arms around the girl. "Happy birthday, Lola."
"Thank you."
"We need to get some last minute confirmation on the music you would like to be played." The organizer said and pointed to her notebook. Lola took a seat next to him and begin to list off some songs she would for sure want to be played. They spent half an hour doing that, after that she was directed outside to personally inspect the decorations in the tables and the food that would be served later on.
"Harry is coming, right?" She asked Emma as they where watching people put the flower arrangements together.
"Of course, he wouldn't miss it for the world." Emma gives her an encouraging smile and wraps her arm around her shoulder.
Lola continues to supervise the whole set up with Emma until she is sent off for lunch at 12. She eats some pasta and chicken and watches some TV with James and her dad. At 1:30 the crew that was doing her makeup and hair arrived to begin to get her ready for the evening. She would be having two different outfit changes, a pale yellow minie dress and a baby pink long flowy dress. The shorter dress would be used during the cocktail/ day side of her party, the longer dress would be used during the night time of the party. Both of these dresses had been chosen in between Lola, Emma, and Lola's mother.
The party would officially start at 5 but they wanted Lola to be ready by 4 so she could take pictures with her family before the party. Her hair was curled into beach waves and her makeup was mostly glittery and with soft pastel tones in the corner of her eyes. Her heels are plain white and had some pearls on the straps.
"You look perfect." Emma says as he looks at her. Emma was now changed and ready to go for the party too. Her blonde hair was put into a half up half down style and her sage green dress looked absolutely stunning on her.
"Thank you, you look amazing too."
"There is someone for you downstairs."
Emma had a cheeky smile on her face so that could only mean one thing, Harry. Lola walks down the stairs and in fact finds Harry in the living room talking to her father. He was wearing a dark blue, almost black, suit with a loose white shirt underneath. He had his usual cross necklace dangling around his neck and a pair of black sunglasses pulling back his curls. He stands up from his seat and walks towards her.
"Happy Birthday." He says to her and gives her a quick hug. Even with heels she was still shorter than him so she had to look up at him a bit to meet his eyes.
"Thank you."
"You two look so cute together." Anna, one of Lola's younger cousin's, said. This earned her a slap on the arm by her mother but that didn't take the smile off of her face. Harry's and Lola's "love" was something that people in the mafia looked up to. They were meant to be the perfect match, this was at least what they showed to the others. In reality, Lola didn't even know Harry's favorite color or ice cream flavor.
"Can I take some pictures of you two outside?" A man with a camera asked them. Harry nods and leads Lola to the garden.
Lola stands beside Harry as they take pictures. His right arm wrapped around her waist. They had never been this close before, the most they ever got to was sitting next to each other during dinner. They take a couple more pictures before Harry leaves to take a business call. Lola took some solo pictures and with her family before heading back inside so she can welcome the guests as they come in.
Lola doesn't see Harry again until dinner is served at 7. Harry took a seat next to her in the head table where only close family was sitting at.
"I like this dress more." He whispers into her ear, she was now wearing her pink dress. The dress made her look like one of those fairytale princess and Harry really liked that. Lola smiles up at him, she was hoping he would like her dresses.
"I'm glad." Harry shifted on his seat and that's when she saw it. Inside his pocket was a small white box, he really was going to do it that night. Lola felt her heart stop for a minute, she had been expecting it but now that it was really happening it scared her quite a bit. Once they got engaged the wedding would be close to come and as soon as that happens they would begin to try for children. Her duty was to provide Harry and the mafia with an heir. Same way that Emma provided Harry as heir she would too. It was all dawning on her too quickly to the point she begin to feel like she was suffocating. Her heartbeat was the only thing she could hear and the room felt too warm for her comfort.
"I'm going to use the restroom." She stands up and walks towards the house quickly. She manages to get to her room before she fully starts to hyperventilate. She sits on the edge of her bed and holds onto her mattress. She hadn't even noticed she was crying until a knock on the door took her out of her trance.
"I'll be out in a sec." She says to whoever was outside.
"It's Harry." He doesn't wait for any sort of response before opening the door and walking into the room. He had never been in her room before so this was a completely new environment for him. She had a lot of posters and vinyls all over her walls. He also noticed that the dominating colors where white and pink.
"Oh, hey." Lola says as she wipes her tears.
"What's wrong?"
"It's nothing, I'm just being stupid."
"You're not, and I can tell that there is something wrong."
"I saw it, the... the box."
"Oh." Harry doesn't really know how to respond, he thought it was to be expected for him propose that day.
"Can I see it?" She asks, Harry hums and takes the box out of pocket. He opens it before passing it Lola. The stone on the ring was large and shiny, something that would definitely make Lola stand out.
"It's beautiful." Lola says to Harry.
"If you don't want to get engaged today I can switch the date." Harry tells her but Lola immediately shakes her head and gives him the ring back.
"No, it's okay. We should head back down." Lola tells him and stands up. Harry follows after her as they walk downstairs. Right as they are about to walk to the garden Harry grabs Lola by the arm and pulls her back.
"You sure you want to do this?" Harry asks her.
"Yeah."
They walk back into the party, Lola putting on a big smile and Harry going back to his usual stoic face. They eat dinner and chat with the people around them, Lola stands up and begins to walk around the tables making sure that everyone is having a good time. At around 8:30 everyone was finished with their dinners. Lola was talking with one of her cousins back at her original table when Harry stood up to make a toast and called her over to the dance floor. It was go time.
"I would like to make this toast to congratulate my girlfriend on her birthday. You deserve the world and more Lola. I hope we have many more birthdays like this together. Because of that I would like to ask you something." Harry got on one knee and pulled out the box from his jacket. "Would you like to marry me?"
"Yes!" Lola almost yelled before jumping up and down. She was told by her mother to overreact if she had to but to look as happy as possible. Harry stood up and put the ring on her finger before pulling her into a hug. The guests all clapped and cheered for them.
Lola and Harry walked around the party together and accepted all the good wishes they received from members of the Mafia. They decided on cutting the cake after that so they could really party for the rest of the night. Her cake was of multiple layers and pink with gold stars all over them. The candles where pink with gold swirls and there was a candle in the number 19 in the middle. They all sang happy birthday for her and Lola was told to make her wish. She wished for her future marriage to go well, if it did, by her next birthday she should be pregnant or with her baby already.
Once everyone ate their cake they all took to the dance floor. Harry of course refused Lola's attempts at pulling him to the dance floor, saying that he didn't know how to dance as the main excuse. Lola however knew that was a lie, she had seen him years ago at parties when he was in his late teens/early twenties and he was always dancing with someone. Harry watched Lola and the rest of the members dancing for the next couple hours. Enjoying a few drinks here and there as a form of distraction.
"You sure you don't want to dance?" Lola asks Harry as she takes a seat next to him. Harry looked bored and she was just trying to make him feel more welcomed into the party.
"No, I think I'm gonna head out. Have a couple meetings early tomorrow." He says and stands up.
"Already? It's barely midnight." Lola tells him, was he really that bored?
"Work's my priority and like I said I have early meetings tomorrow."
"By meetings you mean drug deals or gun trafficking? I'm glad to know my birthday means that little to you." Lola says with a scoff.
"I would have expected you to have better manners considering how much money I have spent on your education." He says and begins to walk away. Lola is now feeling the bravery of the alcohol and decides to go after him.
"I would have expected you to care more about me since I'm your future wife after all."
"I do care." They where farther out in the garden and right outside her house.
"Whatever makes you sleep better at night."
"Lola I'm not going to argue with you right now."
"I wish you would."
"Why would you? Do you want to be on my bad side, is that it? Or are you just that much of an attention seeking whore that any sort of attention makes you feel good?" Harry says and gets up close to Lola's face. Lola however stands her ground, keeping eye contact the whole time.
"I just want to get to know you."
"We can do that some other time, I really gotta go now." He walks away once again, this time Lola doesn't follow him.
….
Lola and Harry had managed to avoid each other for a week before they where forced back together. Emma had suggested they visited Harry after having lunch together so they could begin talking about some details of the wedding. Lola had tried to convince Emma of not going but after some insisting on Emma's part, Lola gave in.
"Good evening." Collin, Harry's assistant, said as the elevator opened. Harry had a whole floor to himself and his close people. The building had over 50 floors, each directing a different branch of Harry's "business".
"Mr Styles will be with you in a second. Is there anything I could get you to drink?"
"Can I get some tea?" Emma asks him politely.
"I'll just do some water." Lola tells him and he nods before walking inside a different room. Lola watches him leave and come back with the two drinks. She grabs her water and thanks him. Collin walks back to his desk but stands back up after a beeping sound is heard.
"Mr Styles is ready to see you." He opens the big black door that leads to Harry's office. Emma walks ahead of her and sets her drink down before hugging Harry.
"Good evening, darling." Emma tells her son softly.
"Good evening, mum." Harry hugs her back slightly. Harry looks up and finds Lola standing just a couple feet from where he was. She was wearing a black turtleneck, white miniskirt and black platform boots. A black leather purse hanging from her right arm. Her hair was down and mostly straight. She looked stunning even in a simple outfit. The ring was however the most noticeable thing in the outfit, it was shiny and large.
"Lola." He said with a nod of his head.
"Hey." She takes a seat on the couch area in Harry's office. Emma walks over, pulling Harry along, and sits down in front of her.
"We are here to talk about the wedding." Emma says excitedly, Harry looks at Lola and they make eye contact. They keep it for a couple seconds before Lola looks away.
"You guys can choose the stuff, my only request would be that it's held in my house." Harry tells them.
"That's it?" Lola asks him.
"Yeah, it can all be to your choosing. It's supposed to be your day after all."
"It's not just mine, it's our day. Our wedding day at that." Lola was questioning if he even wanted to slightly get married at all.
"I know that, but the decorations can be of your choosing. If there is any input to be given from my side my mother or sister can choose it."
"So you really don't care about anything?"
"I'm gonna leave you two for a minute." Emma stands up and walks out the office.
"It's not that I don't care, I just think it's better if you take care of it." Harry says as soon as his mom closes the door to his office. Lola rolls her eyes and looks as far away from him as she could.
"No, you just don't care." She stares blankly.
"Okay, Lola. You can think whatever you would like. If that's all you were here for you may leave."
"Why do you have to be such an asshole all the time?!" Lola yelled.
"I'm not, this is just the way our marriage will work. I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted, trust me it's not what I wanted either." At that Lola felt tears brim her eyes, she never really thought he would outright state his dismay against the arrangement.
"Then choose another wife." She tells him and walks out of the room. Purposefully slamming his door in the process. Lola feels Emma following after her to the elevator. Once they got in and the door close Emma spoke up,
"I'm so sorry, darling." Emma hugged her side. "Know that I will be talking to him very seriously later tonight."
"Please don't, If he wants to move on with our marriage he can talk to me on his own. I don't want you to have to be a mediator between us."
"It's truly no bother but I respect your wishes. Just know that I will always have your back no matter what, I was once in your position after all."
"Thank you, it truly means a lot." Lola told the woman and hugged her tight. She doesn't know what she would do without Emma.
"Of course, darling. Let's get you home now, I think you've had enough for today."
Emma dropped Lola off at her house and they said their goodbyes.
"I'm home!" She yelled as she walked through the door and dropped her bag in the couch.
"Lo!" James yelled and ran towards her. Lola bend down and picked him up spinning him around the air.
"I missed you."
"I missed you more, Jamesie. How was football?" Lola asked him and placed him back down on the ground.
"Good! My coach said I am improving so much. I might be getting moved up with the older boys." James explained as they walked towards the kitchen together.
"That's amazing, I'm so proud of you. Do you want a snack?" Lola asked him and he hummed.
"Strawberries and Nutella?" He asked with puppy eyes.
"Sure, but don't tell mom."
"My lips are sealed." He 'zipped' his mouth and threw away the 'key'.
Once she made him his snack she guided him through a bit of his homework before going upstairs to get changed. Her outfit was getting quite uncomfortable and there was not point in wearing it anymore since she wasn't going out. She changed into a pajama bodysuit with long sleeves. It was one of her personal favorites, mainly because the patter was of little pink flowers. She washed of her makeup and brushed her hair. Once she was done she put on her Ugg boots and walked down to the living room.
"Almost done?" She asked James who hummed.
"Just have math left, it's what I'm working on."
"Confused or doing good?"
"I'm good."
Once James was done with his homework they went upstairs to the family room and watched some movies together as they played UNO. At around 7 their parents came back home and they all ate dinner together. Lola helped the maids wash some of the dishes and clean up the table after being dismissed from dinner. It was a bit of a normal occurrence for her to do so. She enjoyed talking to the girls who worked at her house, they where all quite a bit older than her but they where still pretty close. She was talking with Brooke, who was 25 and the youngest of the maids, when another one of the maids interrupted them.
"Mrs Lola, there is someone here for you."
"Who is it?" She asked as she dried her hands off and took off the apron she had been wearing.
"Mr Styles, he was quite persistent on seeing you." The maid responded her in a dreamy voice, it seemed that everyone was in love with Harry.
"Wish me luck." Lola told Brooke who gave her a thumbs up. She walked out to the living room and was shocked at what she was seeing. He was wearing dark blue jeans, a large orange sweater, and off white tennis shoes. She had never seen him look so normal in all the time she had known him. If she saw him on the street she would have never guessed he was the don of a mafia. To add more to the strangeness he had a bouquet of pink roses with white baby breath and a couple other kinds of pink flowers.
"Harry?"
"Hey." He felt his breath be knocked out when he looked up at her. She looked adorable and comfortable in her pjs.
"These are for you." He walked over to her and handed her the flowers.
"Thank you. Sophia?" The maid came out of the kitchen and waited for what she was going to be asked to do. "Could you do me the favor of putting this in water, please?"
"Of course, Mrs Lola." Lola handed her the flowers.
"Thank you." Lola waited until Sophia was back in the kitchen before turning back to Harry.
"What are you doing here?"
"I was hoping we could talk, in private." Harry told her and motioned towards the kitchen. He was sure the maids where overhearing the whole conversation.
"I trust them, but we can go to the library if you'd like."
"I was hoping we could go to your bedroom, it's a more familiar environment to you." Harry explained and Lola gave him a strange look.
"Uhm, sure. It's this way." She led him upstairs and to her room. She walked in, Harry behind her, and took a seat on her bed.
"I'm gonna close the door if that's okay."
"Sure." She begin to fiddle with one of her pillows as she watched Harry close the door and take a seat in-front of her.
"What did you want to talk about?"
"About what you said earlier, about me getting another wife." He explained and Lola felt even more confused then she was before.
"I'm not doing an open marriage if that's what you want." Lola said sternly causing Harry to immediately shake his head.
"No, it's just- if you weren't to be my wife, what would you want to do? Like a career or something."
"I'm not sure, perhaps study fashion design. In Milan or Paris, it was my childhood dream." She continued to pick on her pillow and avoid as much eye contact with Harry as she could.
"I can make that happen for you." Harry stated simply.
"How? I'm supposed to marry you in a few months and give you a kid."
"I would call off the engagement." Lola looked at him like he was a ghost.
"As great as that sounds, we can't do that. I can't do that to my family."
"I can, I am the don. I can change the rules if I want to, and don't worry about your family. They will still be under my protection for as long as they live. Including you too of course."
"But-"
"I can and will find a way around anything. But I will only break it off if you want to. I won't ruin your life like that, Lo."
"I- I don't know. I guess Paris sounds nice but I'm not sure I want that."
"I know it's hard but I don't want you to be miserable with me. And from what I can tell we aren't very compatible. Perhaps it would be for the best, you deserve a husband that lives up to your dreams, that will treat you like the princess you are." Harry places a hand on her leg and pats it. Lola felt a couple tears fall from her eyes.
"Okay." She simply says.
"Okay what?"
"We can break off the engagement." She wipes her tears and looks outside through her windows.
"Are you sure?" He asks her and Lola hums before removing his hand from her leg and standing up.
"Lola, don't leave please." He said as he watched her walk towards her bathroom.
"I just need a minute." Harry stands up and follows behind her. He watched her rest her hands on the sink and look at her face in the mirror. More tears where falling from her eyes every passing second. Harry couldn't just stand there and watch so he did the next best thing. He walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her. This just cause Lola to cry more, in all honesty she didn't know why she was crying. She didn't love him but a part of her wanted for him to love her. She had this image in her head where once they where married they would both fall in love with each other, and just like that their fairytale would begin.
"Shhh, it's okay." He held her up and rubbed his arm up and down softly.
"I just- I- I don't know what I'm supposed to say or do."
"Sit down." He sat her down on the toilet and bended down in front of her.
"It's okay, just breath. In and out, in and out. You're doing so good." He held her hand until she started to breath more normally.
"Why don't you want to marry me?" She asked with a little sob at the end.
"It's for the best, Lola. Like I said, we are not compatible."
"So it's my personality?"
"It's not just you, it's me too. We clash all the time, you won't be happy with me darling." He ran his fingers through her hair softly.
"And you won't be happy with me either."
"I won't." It breaks Harry's heart to say it and Lola's heart to hear it.
"I'm sorry." She said and looked at him in the eyes for the first time.
"You have nothing to be sorry for."
"I do, my duty was to be everything you would want and I failed. I failed you and everyone else."
"You didn't fail me or anyone. You are a lovely girl, Lola. And I'm sure you will be a lovely bride one day but it just can't happen with me." He explained to her in the softest voice he could muster. He hadn't realized how fucked up this whole thing must be for her. He was taking away her whole birth purpose without any warning.
"Can I ask you something?" Lola asked him.
"Anything."
"Is there someone else that you are interested in? I totally understand if you are, I would rather know now."
"There's no one Lola, you've been the closest I've gotten to any sort of formal relationship."
"That's a bit weird, don't you think? I mean we barely know each other, I don't even know your favorite color."
"Orange and blue, those are my favorites. Thats why I'm wearing them right now."
"Pink and gold are mine."
"I sort of guessed that one by looking at your room." Harry laughed and Lola rolled her eyes playfully at him.
"It is kind of obvious." She admitted and Harry nodded. They didn't say anything for a couple seconds, the atmosphere felt warm and comfortable to the both of them.
"I should go now." Harry stood up and extended his hand for Lola to take.
"Okay."
"Come on, I'm not leaving you in the toilet." Lola took his hand and stood up. Harry lead her to her bed and lifted up the comforter so she could get underneath the covers.
"Thank you."
"It's my pleasure, go to bed soon."
"I will."
"And I will let my parents and your parents know that we are not getting married anymore."
"No, can we tell them together? Your parents have been in my life for so long, I love them so much too. I want to be able to tell them too."
"Okay, I'll organize a dinner for Friday. Invite our families and a couple close friends."
"Yeah, that works."
"I'll call you tomorrow for some other details. Take care of yourself, Lola. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
Harry walked out of her room and closed the door behind him. As soon as he made it to the stairs he felt his legs give out on him a little. He took a seat on the top step and rests his head on his hands. He felt so oddly empty, even though he didn't feel much for Lola, apart of a small attachment, letting her go stung his heart. She had been a comfort to him his whole life even though they had never had talked at all. When life got bad he always knew he would have her at the end, they where meant for one another. Now that was done and over with. No more Harry and Lola, the best match the mafia had ever seen, everything had been perfect. Until now.
"Are you a robber?" He heard the voice of a little boy behind him.
"No, do I look like one?" He asked the young boy.
"No, you look more like a pumpkin." The boy giggled and Harry chuckled
"You are James, right? Lola's little brother?"
"Yeah." He took a seat on the stairs next to Harry.
"Are you her boyfriend?"
"Yeah." He decided it would be better to not confuse the little boy on all the small details.
"Can I have a room in your house once you get married?"
"Sure, but why do you want a room?"
"So I can stay there all the time, have sleepovers like I do all the time with Lola now." James explained to Harry.
"I will make sure you have a room all for yourself then."
"Thank you, that works as great bribery to me so I officially like you now. I hate you for taking Lola away but I like you for getting me a room. I will like you even more  if you get me a new LEGO."
"New LEGO, got it. Have a good night James."
"Good night, Lola's boyfriend." James stood up and went back to his room.
Once walking down the stairs he made his way outside. His car was waiting for him in the front of the house. His car was red Ferrari and one of his personal favorites of his collection. The drive back to his house was of about 20 minutes, he used to be closer when he lived in his parent's house. His mom had advices him he bought a house close to Lola in case of an emergency but he had refused. At the time he was still incredibly against the idea of marrying Lola. He was only 24 and felt disgusted by the idea of marrying someone. Now that he was older he hoped he had listened to his mom, it would have been easier to keep and eye on Lola and his family. They where under his protection after all, he would rather die than have any of them be hurt because of him.
He drove up the long driveway, saying hi to his guards in the process. He walked inside the house and headed to his room right away. He wasn't in the mood to eat dinner or do any work. He took off his shoes and pants before laying down on his bed. He rolled around a bit before finding a comfortable position. Somehow he ended up with a pillow hugged to his chest. Harry buried his head deep into the pillow and closed his eyes. He would never admit it to anyone but he thought of Lola, the way she would feel as they cuddled during the night. She would play with his hair and he would hold her so close to him he would be able to feel every inch of her on him. If she was pregnant he would be rubbing at her tummy all night making sure that their baby was safe. That thought on its own sent him down a spiral. But now that can't happen, he had pushed her away too far this time. Their future was simply nonexistent.
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Harry's Erectile Dysfunction Gets in the Way of Your Sex Life (SMUT)
AN: i don't know much about anxiety medication side effects so if this isn't 100% accurate, don't come at me. i really hope you enjoy. i know so many ask for me to write angst and i normally don't feel comfortable writing it but i did write just a bit in this story. enjoy!!!
This story contains: erectile dysfunction, mentions of anxiety and anxiety medication, body insecurities, crying, tiny bit of angst, smut, fluff sprinkled in everywhere
{ dadrry/dilfrry - husband!harry - soft!harry - both in late thirties - have four kids }
word count: 2,718
After months of no sex, you think Harry isn't attracted to you anymore but after confessing your assumptions on why the lack of sex has occurred, Harry breaks down and confesses his secret that he's been trying to hide from you out of pure embarrassment.
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Over the past few weeks Harry hasn't been feeling himself. In several aspects too but the one that sticks out to you the most is his sex drive. Normally anytime you're in the mood he'll be all for a little shag under the sheets while keeping quiet so not to wake your kids up. Or normally he'd be up for you giving him a blowjob in the shower. But it's been weeks and nothing, barley even a kiss. And you're starting to think he's not attracted to you anymore.
You've always been told that after being with someone for so long and after having a couple of kids, your sex life will dissolve. You don't want that. You loved the sex you once had together. You and Harry may be in your late thirties but just months ago were having sex nearly every day. So what's changed, you ask yourself.
Is he turned off by your body? The body that has extra fat on the tummy from housing your four babies. The stretch marks that are on your plushy hips and thighs. Your not so perky boobs. Does Harry think of your body and get the urge to throw up from looking at it? The thought makes you want to cry.
But then again you have to remember who you're talking about. You're talking about your Harry. The Harry that would always tell you he loved your body. The one that would liter your skin in kisses while making love. The one that runs his fingers over your stretch marks while cuddling but not in a weird way, just in a haphazard way.
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Tonight you think it's gonna be different. You've both just finished putting your children to bed and now you're doing your bedtime routines. Harry is fresh out the shower, the shower he insisted he take by himself for whatever reason, brushing his teeth at the vanity in your shared bathroom, dressed in only a pair of his boxer briefs. While you on the other hand is sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing your creams and lotions on your skin, dressed in a silk blue nightgown.
A minute later Harry comes walking out the bathroom and goes around to his side of the bed, slipping into the covers. He's about to reach over to turn the bedside lamp off when you stop him with your words. "Hey," you say in a slow drawl before maneuvering over to him, "why don't we, you know, have sex tonight. It's been a while and I want you."
Harry looks over to you with droopy eyes and mutters, "Love, m'so tired. How 'bout tomorrow, m'kay. Just want to sleep." That's what he's been saying, tomorrow, but that promise is never fulfilled. It's always pushed away with another promise of tomorrow.
With tears in your eyes that Harry is unable to pick up on, you say a quiet "Okay." before shuffling under the duvet to get ready for sleep. You turn away from your husband's body to lay on your left side and now in the dark room, you attempt to just fall asleep and forget you even asked for sex. But of course sleep doesn't come easy tonight.
The more you lay there the more you drowned in the thoughts of what your friends have told you about how their partners stopped wanting sex with them after a while. The thought of Harry never wanting sex with you again has actual tears running down your cheeks. And before you realize it, your shoulders are shaking as a quiet sob leaves your body.
The shaking from your sobs has Harry jolting awake from his sleep that he just entered. He sits up in the dark and scoots over to you worriedly and questions, "Baby, what's that matter? Why'r you crying?"
Barely able to catch your breath, you spit out, "You..... you don't find my body attractive anymore. I must be ugly and gross you out, don't I?" That's the only rational thing you can come up with as an excuse for why your husband has been not wanted sex with you. Or the last resort thoughts of, you know, him possibly cheating on you. But your Harry would NEVER, would he.
Harry reaches to turn the lamp back on so he can see you clearly, then retorts a bit offended, "What the hell are you talkin' 'bout? You're beautiful, m'love. You know I think you're the prettiest women in the world."
"Then, then why don't you want to have sex anymore?" you ask back, tired of not knowing the answer. That question has Harry stiffening up and wanting to recoil back into his skin. The short answer is, he doesn't know. He wishes he could tell you but he can't because he truly has been puzzled himself.
About three months ago Harry started to lose his sex drive. At first he tried to keep it a secret and still enjoy having sex with you. But after a time or two it just felt forced for him and he never wanted to have sex with the love of his life when he wasn't feeling into it for whatever reason. It felt untruthful to himself and to you.
Along with the fact that after the last time you did have sex he could barely get hard. You didn't notice because it was dark in the bedroom and he went heavy on the clit rubbing to make up for his lack of erection, but he was mortified. So after that night Harry's been scared to have sex if he's honest.
The thought of you realizing he's not getting hard and thinking it has something to do with your abilities to please him would destroy him. Plus, he's cheeked and he can't even get himself hard when he's alone. So it's definitely not you. "Um," he stutters, "I..... I dunno, really."
You finally turn around to take a peek at your husband and when you do, you feel so incredibly bad. Harry looks sad and hurt, even confused is a word you'd describe how he's looking. Maybe the problem all along wasn't you but rather him. You never thought about it that way.
You sit up so you're more face level with him and ask much more shyly this time, "What do you mean, you don't know? Just haven't been in the mood lately or....?"
Taking a deep breath, Harry starts to explain with a shaky voice, one with emotions evident, "Just, yeah, haven't been in the mood and I can't get it hard. Dunno what's wrong with me. Makes me feel like a shit husband when you ask for me but I can't even get hard to satisfy you. M'scard somethin' is wrong with me."
"Oh, baby," you coo, leaning in to wrap your arms around his tattooed body, "shh, it's alright. In the morning I can make you a doctors appointment if you'd like? To see what they say has been causing your low sex drive. I'm sure it's nothing serious."
"Okay, sounds good. And I love you. Sorry I haven't been able to take care of your needs. Was just embarrassed to tell you that I can't get m'dick hard. Because it's so embarrassing." Harry relies after taking a defeated breath and placing a kiss to the top of your head.
You pull back from his body to look him straight in the eyes and state, "It's not anything you should be embarrassed to share with me though, okay. I'm your wife. I'd never judge you. I love you. And because I love you I miss our sex. But until we can figure out what's wrong with you, I can wait. I'd wait forever with you."
Harry can't help himself when he pushes his head forward and locks his lips to yours. It's a simple kiss mixed with a bit of your snotty nose and wet cheeks but he doesn't mind. After the kiss is over with, you pull him down into bed with you, re-covering yourselves back up with the blankets. and cuddling into one another.
You allow Harry to rest his head on your chest because you know when he's feeling sad or down about something, he likes you to hold him, no matter how old he is. So that's what you do. You hold him while caressing his damp curls away from his face until he falls asleep on top of you. Then you follow right after, falling into a sleep state now knowing that all your worrying thoughts were debunked but also still have a lingering worry as to what could be wrong with your husband. You'll just have to wait and find out tomorrow.
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Once you've gotten your kids ready and drove to school, you and Harry make your way to the doctors office. You'd called first thing this morning to make him an appointment and luckily they had a spot available for him. He told you that you didn't have to come with him but you wanted to be there and support him. Also to just be a comfort for him knowing how his anxiety gets when going to the doctors.
After waiting in the little waiting area for about twenty minutes, they call Harry back. You walk hand in hand to the room designated for him and wait for the doctor to come visit. "M'so nervous, y/n. I feel nausous." Harry confesses, his legs bouncing up and down uncontrollably.
You stand off to the side of where he's sitting on the bed wrapped in plastic paper and coo softly, "It's gonna be alright, baby. It's just your anxiety making you feel that way. You'll be okay, promise."
A minute later the doctor comes walking in with a brown clipboard, introducing herself and questions your reasoning for coming in. "Hi, I'm Dr. Coalett. What can I do for you today, Harry?"
Taking a deep breath, Harry musters up the courage to confess to the doctor, "Well, um, see, I haven't been, you know, in the mood lately when it comes to sex or being sexual with m'wife. I can't even get an erection anymore. M'scared somethin' is wrong with me. It just started happenin' about three months ago. Before then, we had sex a normal amount, maybe even more than average.*nervously laughs at his own words* But now, it's zero sex."
Dr. Coalett listens intently and when Harry finishes speaking, she replies understandingly, "Okay, I see. Well, many factors can come into play with your erectile dysfunction and loss of sex drive. Like age, stress, medications you may be taking. But I'd say we can cancel out the age factor because you've just told me that you've never had a problem up until recently and you're only thirty eight. So, stress and medication could be the cause. And it shows on your paperwork you take, let me see, anxiety medicine?"
You keep one hand running circles over Harry's back to comfort him which is definitely helping him open more up to the doctor. To answer Dr. Coalett back, he answers, "Um, yes. Been strugglin' with anxiety for years but just this past year it got to the point where I needed more help than I could give m'self. So I was put on anxiety medicine and it's been working alright I guess." You're so proud of your husband for speaking so openly with the doctor. You know this doesn't come easy for him.
She gives you both a gentle smile and says, "Alright, well, I think I may know your problem then. I'm not 100% sure but I believe the anxiety medication you were prescribed is the cause of your issues. One of that medications side effects is sexual dysfunction. So here's what I can do. We can switch you to another brand of anxiety medicine and see if that helps with your problems. If it doesn't, you can come back to us and we can examine you more in depth. If it does work, then you should be fine and we can refill the medicine for you next month."
You and Harry both sign in relief. So it's not something too serious. Thank God. As Dr. Coalett is writing Harry's prescription, you speak up to ask her, "So, when should he expect to notice changes with his lack of sex drive, if that's not a weird question to ask?"
She giggles and responds, "No, not weird at all. It can vary person to person but I'd say within the next few days of switching the medication. It may be subtle at first where Harry won't get fully erect or it could be straight forward from the start. You'll just have to wait and see." She hands Harry the new prescription and now you're free to leave after sending the prescription to the pharmacy.
----------------------------
Harry started his new anxiety medication the following day and within hours he could feel a difference. Or maybe it was the placebo effect playing tricks on him. But to be 100% positive, he waited to do anything sexual until he felt absolutely feral. Also he wanted your first time in three months to be special. Not just some quickie in the shower.
When the weekend rolled around and your kids went to spend the night with their grandma, Harry's mother Anne, he knew it was the perfect time to start rekindling your sex life. At this point you knew his erectile dysfunction was fixed and that he was in the mood for sex but wanted to wait until you had the house to yourselves.
Harry set up some candles around the bedroom and laid some towels down so you wouldn't have to change the sheets later that night. Then once everything was set up perfectly to his standards, the love making began. It was possibly greater than your first time ever having sex when you were both twenty years old. Mainly because you're both way more experienced now and know how to properly pleasure each other.
You started out on top, riding his VERY erect cock, but then from the lack of sex recently, fell too weak and tired to stay in that position for long. So Harry worked quickly to flip you over and he took the place of the topper. He skillfully thrusted into your wet cunt just like old times and ground his pubic bone into your clit for extra pleasure on your end. You held hands and Harry lent down to leave subtle hickies to your skin. Subtle so your kids wouldn't question the marks on their mothers neck.
A few minutes before your orgasms Harry broke down crying. You worried he was hurt for a second only to have him explain that he's crying happy tears. Happy tears that steam from being so happy to have you like this again. He thought he was gonna be broken forever. Even when he had erectile dysfunction though, he still had these feelings of missing being intimate with you. He loves you so much and your sex is so special to him.
After you calmed him down enough, Harry was able to concentrate at his task at hand. The task of helping you both achieve orgasms. And within another minute you came together. Both letting out breathy moans that you didn't have to conceal, beings you had the house to yourselves. Holding each other close and realizing just how much you missed having his naked body pressed to yours.
Once you were finished, Harry helped you walk to the bathroom where you went to pee and he helped to clean you up. Then removing the soaked towels filled with bodily fluids, you crawled into the sheets together and fell asleep holding each others naked body. You choose to sleep naked because you both just really missed his skin on yours and normally when your kids are home you don't have the privilege of sleeping without clothes on. You know, in case of an emergency throughout the night with one of them.
You both slept like babies the entire night and when you woke up, you woke up to Harry's face between your legs, eating his once favorite meal that he just got the cravings for again.
(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND ITS FREE SO JUST DO IT)
(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )
tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @japanchrry // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @itfeelslikemytherapisthatesme // @damnasstyles  // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet  // @meetmyblondemuffins  // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles  // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles  // @skyangel57   // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss  // @kissmyaxe140  // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore1 // @florencepughily  // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom  // @swiftmendeshoran
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My Masterlist Masterpost
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knowiloveyoubabe · 2 years
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Why Did You Leave Me?
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Word Count: 3.3K
Warnings: Some language; Angst!!!!
Summary: Harry left with no explanation.
A/N: hiiiii :) feel free to leave some requests in my ask box!! ♥️
It’s been months since Harry had gone. Months since Y/N saw his dimpled smile, his striking eyes. Months since she felt his touch, his warmth, his kiss. She found herself missing it all, missing him all the time.
Stop. She’d tell herself. He left you.
They were together for a couple of years before Harry just got up and left. He had just gotten back from the studio; she was sat in the living room. He came into their apartment quietly and sat beside Y/N. He’d told her that he couldn’t do it anymore, eyes focused on the coffee table in front of them.
The pang in her chest reminded her of the pain she felt when he spoke the words that have echoed in her mind since that January evening.
‘This isn’t working, Y/N. I’m sorry.’
He’d been distant for a couple weeks up until that point, pulled away emotionally and physically. Y/N would lie awake in tears, wondering what she’d done wrong.
I guess I’ll never find out. She sighs, wiping away some stray tears as she finished getting ready, her friend would pick her up for a birthday party any minute now. She gives herself a onceover in the mirror, feeling a little out of her comfort zone in the slightly revealing ensemble she’d put on for the night.
First time in ‘real clothes’ since the breakup. It’s been 6 months, good thing I work from home. Y/N smiles at the thought, shooting finger guns at her reflection. Her phone buzzed, signaling that her friend was outside, she grabbed her purse and headed out of her apartment. She was instantly met with her best friend’s cat calls.
“Damn, ma! You look good, baby!” Y/F/N yells out of her car window. Y/N couldn’t stop the laughs that erupted from her body.
“Y/F/N! I have neighbors!” She giggles as she made her way into the car.
“I can’t help it, look at you! She’s back, baby!” Her friend exclaimed while pulling her in for a hug, kissing her cheek in the process.
“Ugh, just get married already!” Her friends partner rolled their eyes jokingly in the backseat. Y/N let out a small laugh and turns to them.
“Don’t worry, she’s all yours!” She winks as her friend starts the car. Y/F/N’s partner giggles, kicking the back of Y/N’s chair softly.
“I’m glad you agreed to come.” Y/F/N smiles, patting Y/N’s knee with her eyes still on the road.
“Yeah, I’m glad I’m allowing myself to have fun again.” Y/N smiles back. “I just hope he’s not there.” She adds quietly.
“Don’t worry, he’s probably not on this side of the planet. Anyway, we’ve got your back, babes.” Her friends partner insisted. Y/N thanked them softly, watching the other cars go by on the highway. Music played softly in the background as Y/F/N and her partner spoke amongst themselves.
‘What do you mean this isn’t working?’ Y/N’s eyebrows pulled together, frowning as she shifted herself over to face him. He sat on the opposite end of the couch looking straight ahead, almost as if he was refusing to look in her general direction. His elbows were perched on his knees, his fingers intertwined.
‘I mean we can’t be together anymore.’ He spoke slowly, as though he was afraid to stumble on his words. Y/N’s heart pounded in her chest as she looked at the man she loves. Harry’s jaw was set, a small frown settled on his pink lips. He felt so far away, he wasn’t with her anymore. It all hit her at once, like a swift punch to the gut.
‘But Harry,’ She struggled to breathe as she reached out to him, ‘Baby, please.’
Tears poured down her face, it felt as though the world was crumbling around her. Harry’s eyes betrayed him, peering over at Y/N briefly from the corner of his eye. His chest nearly collapsed seeing her cry, knowing he was the reason why. She saw his cold composure falter.
‘I’m sorry, I truly am. I love you, Y/N. I always will.’ He choked out before getting up and making his way to the door. She watched him as he paused with his back to her, his hand on the doorknob. It was all falling apart, she struggled to contain the sobs that built up in her chest. Their eyes met, both their faces tearstained.
‘I-’ He started, his voice wavered as he quickly wiped his tears away, ‘I’ll send someone for my things.’ He finished, sniffling.
‘I’m sorry.’ Harry whispered once again before swiftly leaving. Y/N’s chest heaved with heavy sobs, there goes the love of her life, leaving with no explanation.
“Y/N? Sweetie?” Y/F/N calls out, snapping Y/N out of the memory that hung like a raincloud over her head. She’s met with a concerned gaze as she meets her friend’s eyes.
“Yes, I’m present.” Y/N blinks quickly, looking around. They’re no longer driving, parked on some random side street.
Guess we’re here. She thinks.
“You’re crying, my love,” Her friend frowns, “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” Y/N’s hands make their way to her face, gently wiping the tears away. She shakes her head, plastering on a smile.
“No! I’m okay, it’s the pollen!” Y/N sniffles, trying to lighten the mood a bit. Y/F/N and her partner share a look.
“Pollen?” Y/F/N’s partner says slowly and Y/N shoots them a pleading look.
“I’m good, I swear. Now let’s go! Mitch and Sarah are expecting us.” She opens the door and climbs out, the warm July air rustling her hair slightly. They all make their way towards the ridiculously loud music coming out of the ridiculously large house.
“Oh man, I’m ready to get fucked up!” Y/F/N exclaims as she opens the door.
“I take it you’re on designated driver duty.” Y/N nudges Y/F/N’s partner. They chuckle, nodding their head as their girlfriend heads straight to the table of alcohol.
“You should stay by her,” Y/N urges, “I’m gonna mingle.” Y/F/N’s partner pats her on the back and chases after their girlfriend. Y/N chuckles and scans the foyer of the gorgeous house. Her eyes land on the birthday boy, the crooked cardboard crown on his head bringing a smile to her face as she made her way over to him.
“Mitch! Happy birthday!” She yelled over the music, and he immediately locked eyes with her.
“Y/N! You made it!” He smiled widely, giving her a hug.
“Sarah! Look who’s here!” He called his girlfriend, another one of Y/N’s good friends over. Sarah squealed as she scooped her up in a hug, both of them absolutely ecstatic at seeing each other.
“It’s been months, how have you been?” Sarah pulls out of the hug, her hands still on Y/N’s shoulders. The past six months of crying, barely leaving her apartment, and neglecting tons of work flashed in her mind.
“I’ve been good!” Y/N smiles widely.
As if they’d believe that! She thought. Sarah nods her head, pulling Y/N in for another hug. They leaned against the far wall of the living room chitchatting for a while, speaking of the highs and lows of their lives in the past couple of months.
“Sarah! Mitch!” Y/N hears someone yell from a distance. Sarah pulls off of the wall and takes Mitch’s hand in hers, peering in the direction of the person calling out for them.
“We have to greet a bunch of people but please stick around, we seriously need to catch up!” Sarah’s eyes held the sincerest look. Y/N nodded and sent them off to where they had to be. She looked around for a familiar face and when she didn’t see one, she decided to go to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. The music was not as loud in the kitchen and hardly anyone stayed in there, they only passed through.
Guess I’ll stay here for the rest of the night. She thought, grabbing a glass from the cabinet, and filling it up with ice cubes and water from the fridge.
Would be nice to have someone to talk to though. She shrugged as she took a sip of her water, still facing the fridge.
“Y/N?” Her breath caught in her throat nearly causing her to choke on the water as the all too familiar voice called out her name.
“Y/N, is that you?” Her eyes went wide, terrified of turning around.
It’s him, he’s here. He’s here and he sees me. Oh God, what do I do. Fuck. Her thoughts went a million miles a second.
Okay, here goes nothing. She put the cup down and swiftly turned around. She was met with his soft gaze, his fingers anxiously fussing with his rings. Her heart felt like it was fighting to jump out of her chest and into his hands. She hadn’t noticed how close he was till she felt the warmth radiating from his person. Harry’s mouth was half open, as though he wanted to say something but just couldn’t find the words. She balled up her fists at her sides.
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. She pleaded with herself, still holding his gaze.
She gave him a curt nod, her lips fighting a frown and walked away, out of the kitchen, through the crowd and out of the house. Her chest rose and fell at an erratic pace, tears formed in her eyes and fell quickly down her face.
“Y/N!” She heard him call out behind her. She didn’t dare look back; she didn’t want him to see her like this. She made her way down the street, keeping up a quick pace.
Maybe he’ll leave me alone. Please, please don’t see me like this. She tried to focus on her breathing as she kept walking but heard footsteps on the pavement behind her.
Oh, Fuck. Why is he doing this.
“Y/N, please!” He pleads, running in front of her, stopping her in her place. She didn’t look up at him, choosing to keep quiet and just go around him.
“Can you stop ignoring me, please? I’m going crazy.” Harry croaked, his voice breaking. She almost instantly stopped walking, whipping her body back around to face the man who broke her, her eyes glued to the pavement between them.
“Crazy, Harry? Really?” She snapped, still refusing to look at his face. Her shoulders rose and fell as she slowly lost control of her breathing. Harry stood there, his body limp.
“What’s crazy is the love of my life up and leaving with zero explanation.” She tries to be firm but her voice falters, betraying her. Harry watched her close her eyes and lift her face to the night sky. The low shine of the streetlights reflected off the tears falling from her closed eyes.
“I’m so sorry Y/N, I ju-”
“No, Harry. I don’t want your apology.” She sobbed, finally opening her eyes. She kept her eyes on the sky as her sobs shook her frame. She shook her head, bringing her hands up to cover her face. Harry stepped closer, wanting to take her into his arms, wanting to wipe her tears away, wanting to just take the pain away. She heard him step closer and dropped her hands from her face, finally looking him. Harry saw the damage he had done, his own body shaking.
“You hurt me.” Y/N nearly whispered, sniffling as she regained control of her breathing. Harry’s eyes were bloodshot and swimming in tears. For the first time in months, Y/N had a proper look at him. His cheeks were slightly sunken in and the bags under his eyes were dark, his shoulders were slumped. It was as though he’d been beaten down by the weight of the world and Y/N wanted nothing more than to help him carry that weight.
He doesn’t want me.
“You don’t want me.” Y/N spoke quietly as she wrapped her arms around herself.
“That’s not true. I always wanted you, Y/N.” Harry sniffled.
“You can’t expect me to believe that.” She shook her head, rubbing her arm.
“Can we go somewhere ‘nd talk?” Harry pleaded with her, as she opened her mouth to protest, he cut her off.
“Please, please let me explain.” He sighed, begging. She picked at her nails, still staring into his sorrow-filled eyes. She wanted so badly to say no but she had to know why he left so abruptly, why he didn’t reach out. Questions racked up in her brain and before she realized what she was doing, she nodded her head.
“Okay,” She sniffled, “But it’s late, nothing is open right now.”
Harry’s heart nearly skipped a beat, he fought back a relieved sigh.
“I don’t think I’d be able to focus in that house, it’s practically bouncing off of the pavement.” Y/N looked at the lit up house behind Harry. He agreed, they’d need quiet to talk things through.
“Let’s go to my place.” He hesitantly suggested, worried he’d upset her. Y/N’s eyebrows drew together, her frown deepening a bit.
His place.
“Your place.” She said flatly and he pursed his lips, nodding.
“I don’t know, Harry.” She took a small step back. He winced, averting his eyes to the pavement between them.
“I just want to talk, Y/N. I…” He paused for a moment, fidgeting with his ring. “You have full control of this situation, I just missed you so much.”
She couldn’t stop the ache in her chest at his soft words.
“Okay.” She whispered; Harry’s eyes found their way to hers.
“Thank you.” He stepped forward, wanting to pull her close but deciding against it.
“I just have to text Y/F/N.” She pulls her phone out of her pocket and sends a quick text, something along the lines of ‘not feeling well, took a cab home.’
Can’t tell her I’m leaving with Harry, she’d fight me… and Harry. Y/N smiled at the thought of her tiny friend attempting to fight.
“Th’ car’s this way.” Harry motions behind him. Y/N walks ahead of him, he follows right behind.
Neither of them said a word the whole way, the only sound was the radio playing at a barely audible volume and the pitter-patter of the rain that had begun as they made their way to Harrys.
“Here we are.” Harry mutters as he parks in the driveway. Y/N opens the door as soon as he turns the car off, feeling the small droplets of rain on her skin.
“So, this is Harry’s house, hm?” She quietly jokes, looking up at the beautiful home and back at Harry. His tired face lit up as he bursts into a fit of quiet giggles at the corny joke, unlocking the door. Y/N almost lost herself staring at his glowing smile, having to snap herself out of it before he noticed.
Harry held the door open, following Y/N into his house.
“Congrats on the album by the way. I tried not to listen, but it was everywhere,” She paused, taking in her surroundings. The living room was bare except for a couch and a couple of dining room chairs, there was nothing on the walls, as though no one lived here.
“It was incredible, Harry. Really.”
“Thank you, that means so much coming from you.” He spoke quietly, stepping closer to Y/N. She pretended not to notice how close he’d gotten, making her way to the couch. Harry followed close behind, sitting beside her. Y/N eyed the little space between them, her eyebrows furrowed.
“Thank you for giving me a chance to explain, I didn’t know how to reach out to you. I guess the universe didn’t really give me a chance to figure that out.” Harry exhaled.
“The universe? More like Mitch and Sarah.” Y/N quipped, causing him to chuckle.
“I guess I just don’t understand,” She sighed, “Last time I saw you, you sat on the opposite end of the couch. You wouldn’t look at me, you barely spoke and you just up and left.” She whispered, looking at his slender fingers chipping away at his nail polish.
“Why did you leave me?”
“Y/N,” He started, his voice shaking. “I worried constantly about what our future would look like.” He croaked.
“I don’t think I understand.” Y/N looked at his face. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, his lips were a darker shade of pink than usual.
“I didn’t want you to get hurt because you’re associated with me. It was hard enough for you already, and then I bought the ring and…” He trailed off, sniffling. His hands covered his face as he tried to take deep breaths.
“Ring?” Y/N’s breath catches in her throat. Harry takes his hands off of his face, wiping them on his pants. He took her hands into his, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.
“Y/N, I want to be with you so bad. I wanted to propose, I bought us this home.” He sniffled. “But how could I put you through such a life? What if we had children?” He struggled to catch his breath. Y/N’s lips parted, begging words to form on her tongue but nothing came out.
“I thought you’d be better off.” He sighed, looking at her hands in his.
“I know this is so much information and I should’ve just shared my concerns instead of just leaving but I didn’t want to hurt you and I know I ended up hurting you regardless but I-”
“Hey,” She cut him off, taking her hands out of his and swiftly placing them on his face. He gasped lightly, his eyes widening at the intimacy. His hands laid on top of hers, caressing them with his thumbs.
“Harry, you hurt me. You put up all of these walls, you didn’t give me a say in our relationship. These past six months were hell. It never stopped hurting, not even a little bit. I just made room for it.” Y/N spoke slowly, allowing her tears to fall freely.
“But I never stopped loving you.” She whispered. Harry’s lips trembled, his body instinctively leaning in.
“I love you.” He uttered before closing the gap between them in a desperate kiss. One of his hands found its way to the side of her neck, his thumb grazing her jaw. Their lips moved in sync, the familiar feeling pulled them closer together. His other hand made its way down to her waist, their bodies curved into each other.
Y/N pulled away, her hands still cupping his face. Their foreheads were pressed against each other, their noses graze one another. Harry’s eyes remained shut as he savored the closeness.
“Kissing me won’t make this go away.” Y/N whispers.
“So let me make it better. Please.” He pleads, his thumb grazes her jaw once again. She shuts her eyes, sitting in his arms in silence for a while. She knew what she wanted, it was him and there was no use trying to deny it.
“Okay,” She whispers, “Let’s make it better.”
Harry’s heart soared at the sound of her words. He pulled her face in for another kiss, pulling her body on top of his. He wanted nothing more than to be as close to her as possible.
“I love you so much, Harry.” She muttered against his lips. He pulled away, looking into her eyes.
“Please, say it again.” He pleaded, pulling at Y/N’s heartstrings.
“I love you so much, Harry.” She spoke softly, brushing his hair away from his face. Harry was overcome with love for the woman sitting on his lap, he couldn’t contain his happiness.
“It’s you, Y/N. It’ll always be you.” He pulled her in for another kiss, finally content.
1K notes · View notes
hybridalex17 · 5 months
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"I see darkness, you see light"
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Wanted to draw two dumbsters because writing a fic gives ideas for arts. Anyyyyyways, Harry tries to turn Peter's frown upside down because things aren't so bad. They are
But Pete doesn't buy it cause his life, unlike Harry's, is slowly but surely crashes down and everything slowly falls in the complete darkness and even madness.
89 notes · View notes
love-strawberry · 2 years
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lost you to someone better
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summary : in which she's moving on with someone better for her but he's still on her.
pairing : harry styles x reader (past), tom holland x reader
warnings : language
author's note : really wanna make a part iii to this, tell me what you think!! enjoy <33
tagged : @0oolookitsme @ellora-brekker @qualitygiantshoepsychic
lose you to someone else i
i'm happy, isn't that great iii
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y/n_ tom cheating on tessa: a trilogy
157,529 comments
username tessa when tom comes back: welcome home cheater
samholland1999 how could u betray my girl like that
username lowkey miss harry and y/n
tomholland2013 take this down before she sees this
-> y/n_ too late, she already saw and lemme tell you, her bark is not happy
username tessa>>
username totally not jealous of a few puppies
zendaya expose him
username AWWWWWWWWWWWW
username him and dogs
username okay but tessa>>>>
harryholland64 no one can top my girl tessa
username heart eyes
username not me crying over this
username y/n and tom>>>>
username i really hope tom and y/n are dating, they'd be so good together
username ❣️❣️❣️
chrisevans bad move tom
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tomholland2013 no thoughts just her
tagged y/n_
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username omg
username is this a confirmation?!
username awwww
y/n_ mind empty but there's you
-> tomholland2013 you flatter me
username 🤍🤍🤍
username yup, still not over harry and y/n
username honest fuck everyone who think that harry was better for y/n, they broke up for a reason. move tf on and let her be happy
username them>>>
username YESSSSS
zendaya same ❣️ i love her
samholland1999 we know, you texted the gc at around 4 in the morning about how much her eyes shine in the sunlight
username lmfao not sam exposing tom
username 🛐🛐
tuwaine yes we know you heart eyes for her
username ❤️❤️❤️
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harrystyles hate me if it helps out now. hope you all like it x
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username great, im crying again
username "just please make sure i do see you once in a while on my phone, signalling you're happy, make sure you say hello every other day, even if it's for a while, you don't have to stay" </3
username y/n released a fucking album about heartbreaking and harry was moving on. now she's moved on and he's releasing a heartbreak song
louist91 no words 🤍 it's beautiful
username omg
username "i'm afraid you'll never really leave me but i don't think i mind" is such a raw line
niallhoran AMAZING
username 🛐🛐🛐
username crying again in the bathroom
username but i genuinely like tom and y/n and together, she's so much happier
mitchrowland 💕💕💕
username "i'd like to think we ended up nicely, that you didn't curse out my name leaving me standing"
username </3
zayn !!!!
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y/n_ my favourite in these photos and yes, it's tessa not my boyfriend
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username SCREAMING THROWING UP
username WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
username YESSS YESSS FUCK YESSS
tomholland2013 i am wounded darling, i thought i was your favourite
-> y/n_ you are but bring tessa into the picture and then it's her ofc
username OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
username so happy for them <3
username kinda feeling bad for harry
username fuck harry, tom and y/n>>>
samholland1999 YESS, I'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS
harryholland64 i honesty didn't know you were both smashing bodies
username HARRY-
username the only harry we stan in this house in harryholland64
zendaya FUCK YESSSS 🤍
tuwaine fucking finally!! so happy for my kids <33
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801 notes · View notes
strangenewfriends · 2 years
Video
youtube
Full video of Harry and Ellie Rowsell of Wolf Alice covering “No Hard Feelings” in Lisbon 31/7/2022
126 notes · View notes
0nlythrowharrybeaux · 22 days
Text
The Stunt ^**
Tumblr media
This one is based off of the following request where Harry and Y/N are in a PR relationship and he realizes he likes her until it's all over.
A shout out to whoever created that AI pic, it was a repost from TikTok so I'm not sure who actually made it!
Warnings: PR relationship, mentions of PR drama from the past/present, heartbreak & failed relationships, verbal arguments, jealousy, a quick non-consensual kiss, alcohol consumption, fingering, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex
WC: 19.6K
It seemed really stupid to you, a PR relationship with your co-star for a film? Sure, this was your debut into acting, but you had confidence in your ability to perform well and were certain that the film would do great, it was a lovely story! You didn’t need additional PR help to make the film successful. You loved the script, it was a nice, yet realistic friends-to-lovers story. It had range, happiness, sadness, comedy, intimacy…you wouldn’t have chosen a stupid script for your first attempt at the silver screen! So the fact that your agent had written this into the contract with whoever your co-star was going to be, it felt a little insulting to you. 
“It’s offensive! I don’t want to fake date anyone, Fred!” You whined into the phone, “Everyone’s going to see it coming from a mile off…what if they cast someone I hate? What’s gonna happen then?” You asked and he spoke calmly, trying to appease you.
“Think of it as more acting practice! You have to act like you’re into the person when in public.”
“No one is going to agree to that.”
“Sweetheart, everyone will agree to it. It’s a classic PR move! They’re just gonna be kicking themselves for not thinking of it first! It basically guarantees film success for these rom-com type of things.” He said and you sighed and nearly hung up out of frustration. You wished that he had at least asked your permission before including this in the contract.
A few weeks later you were called in by the production and directing team for a few chemistry tests with the two actors that they were split between. They didn’t want to tell you who they were looking at for casting as to prevent any bias on your part during the chemistry read. They wanted to see it for themselves who you vibed with the most. Fred had told you to stop trying to figure it out because both picks were fairly new to the acting world. And when the day came, you were sick to your stomach. You hardly ate anything since the night before because of it. 
When you were introduced to the first guy you did recognize him a bit but you couldn’t really place him. He shared that he had done a lot of supporting work and this would be his first time in a lead role if he got it. He was trying so hard though, trying to make it look like you guys were vibing well. Your interactions felt really inauthentic. The way he would knock his head back and laugh in an exaggerated manner whenever you said something slightly humorous, the way he would lean in closer to speak to you, and touch your arm or shoulder even when you crossed them over your body to indicate that you were uncomfortable. Then when you guys did a couple of test scenes, one of them being the lead up to one of the more intense dialogues between the characters, he came on really strong and theatrically and it was cringey; even you knew that he wasn’t it as they thanked him for his time and off he went.
“We’re gonna break for a few minutes. Meet back in here in 10!”  Someone announced and you took full advantage to go make yourself a tea while they reset the makeshift “set”. Fred knew better than to talk to you right now, you were still quite annoyed at him for putting you in the PR dating situation. So when you felt someone come up beside you, you didn’t say anything, he’d get the hint.
“Ummm, pardon?” You heard an unfamiliar voice and you did a double take over your shoulder when you realized that the person who was looming behind you patiently was Harry Styles, the glasses he had on threw you off a bit.
“Oh god, sorry! I’m taking up the whole counter aren’t I?” You apologized as you grabbed your phone and dropped it in your purse and grabbed that from the top of the counter to make space for him and he smiled at you.
“That’s alright.” He assured you, “I just wanted to introduce myself before we all have to head back in.” He explained and you nodded. You quickly set down your tea packet and extended your hand to his and you shook it firmly and briefly. “I’m Harry.” He introduced himself.
“Y/N.” You smiled warmly.
“I know. Umm, I really liked your EP.” He said to you and your eyes widened in surprise.
“Oh wow, thank you so much! I like your glasses.” You said stupidly and he laughed as he glanced down at the ground between you and you mentally scolded yourself, “ Y-your albums too!” You added in, “I genuinely love all of your albums.” You giggled, trying to mask the star stuck feeling and embarrassment from your little blunder. “The last one, it was phenomenal! I put so many friends onto it.” You shared and he smiled timidly as he glanced away for a moment again before looking back at you.
“Thank you, that’s very generous of you.” He thanked you modestly, as if he hadn’t won an album of the year Grammy for it.
“It really was the least I could do. Great work.” You assured and he chuckled. You knew that one of his best friends was producing this film and you’d heard rumors that he might be writing on the soundtrack, so while you were shocked that he was here for this chemistry/screen test you didn’t think it too odd. Maybe it was going to help him get the vibes between you and whoever else they cast opposite you so that he could start working on the music. “So are you going to be writing some pieces for the soundtrack?” You asked and he nodded.
“Yeah, I thought the script was so genuine and I don’t know, I’m quite partial to hyperrealistic stories like this. The ones that show the challenges as well as the good things.” He said and you nodded.
“Oh my god, same. I know that films should sometimes be an escape, a reprieve if you will, from reality and just be optimistic and romanticize the good but I really love it when it feels like I’m looking in the mirror, you know? Or when it helps me relate to others more. I just love the humanity so much.” You explained and he nodded along. 
“Yeah, definitely.” He agreed. “What do you love most about this story?”
“Just the hope of it all…” you sighed happily, “I mean, who isn’t a sucker for a good friends-to-lovers trope? That whole “it’s been you all along” moment has happened to so many of us, I think. Like it’s the ideal scenario for falling in love, no? When you discover that your love for someone is so much bigger than you thought it was. But what I loved most is the way Cara learns to love herself and knows when to choose herself. It’s shows so much strength and integrity to herself. But yeah, I mean the love story between the two characters is also really great, so…normal.” You hummed. 
“Yeah, it’s so pure, isn’t it? I love how it builds so realistically, like you know all the good bits but also all the bad bits of a person and still love them and they you just as you are.”
“Exactly.” You hummed and he smiled.
“And how’d the last guy do with that?” He asked you, “You can be honest, I won’t tell.” He assured you with a little grin.
“Honestly, a little too forced for my liking. Like fake laughing and inside jokes kind of thing, it was a bit cringey. And well, the acting was far too theatrical for film in my opinion. He very clearly comes from a theater background, it was like really over the top.” You explained to him and he hummed.
“Hmmm…Well, I hope I do better than that.” He said and you froze.
“Wait. You’re the other choice?” You asked him and he nodded, “Oh…”
“I didn’t come and say hi just for fun. It was strictly business.” He joked with a playful grin and you shook your head in disbelief.
“And here I thought you were just here out of the kindness of your heart. To like pick up on the vibes for inspiration for the music.” You chuckled, feeling even more nervous now. “I was basically told that this was amateur hour by my agent.”
“Well, between the two of us, I’m quite the amateur when it comes to acting.” He said and you laughed a little in disbelief.
“Are you fucking kidding me? This is my first acting gig since…my high school play where I was dragged into playing Rizzo because the original cast member dropped out the week before because she hated how she looked in the wig!” You exclaimed, “Please forget the modesty. You’ve been in a Nolan film!” You said to him and he furrowed his eyebrows.
“Yeah, and all I did was swim around in the freezing cold ocean trying not to drown in that heavy ass uniform. The panic I portrayed was very real! There was no acting talent required. I was genuinely fighting for my life on that set.” He joked and you laughed and shook your head. 
“Well, I think you’ll get the part. We’re genuinely laughing, right? Or are you acting so well that I can’t tell whether it’s genuine or not?” You asked and he raised his eyebrows smugly.
“Definitely acting, even wore my glasses since the character does int eh script.” He said  jokingly and you giggled.
“Well, they suit you.” You complimented and he smiled bashfully.
“Thanks.” He responded, “But ummm, we are genuinely laughing…I think we’ll do good in there.” He said with a little more confidence.
“I think so too.” You hummed.
“Here’s to hoping. Well, I’m gonna head back in now, but I’ll see you in there, okay? Wish me luck!” He smiled warmly and you smiled and nodded as you watched him head back into the reading room.
************
It almost goes without saying that Harry was cast as the other lead opposite you. You guys did get along well and you also read well together, the screen test was great too. It was evident how personal these roles felt to each of you. So after a few days you were sitting before each other with your teams present to work out the terms of this PR relationship you’d have. It was all pretty basic; some of the parameters set were that this was business so no canoodling outside of the contractually obligated appearances, there were an agreed upon number of appearances you’d have to do during and post production. There were strict boundaries on what PDA was okay and what wasn’t, it was all very straight forward. So with both parties having most of their conditions met, you guys signed the contract.
…. ONE MONTH LATER ….
Now, you guys were a quarter of the way through filming and being the delusional hopeless romantic you were, you’d started developing real feelings for Harry. He was just so sweet and fun and thoughtful. For example, your birthday had fallen during production and he bought you flowers and a cake and had everyone sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you. Or when you had a scheduled appearance but were feeling ill from your period cramps, instead of making you sit through dinner at a restaurant, he drove you to the nearest pharmacy and walked around with you to buy you tampons and snacks. You loved it and everyone else did too. Or just little thoughtful things he’d do for the staff after a long day, he was just a complete sweetheart and it was getting harder and harder for you to just ignore it and not take his kindness all that personally.
Harry wasn’t really one to talk your ear off, he loved conversation, but mostly the listening bit. He liked to learn and hear other people’s thoughts and opinions. Like a sponge, he absorbed all the information and stowed it away for a later time. You could tell by the way he looked at you that he was listening. Like now…
“-it was just really stupid.” You sighed in slight irritation, “Like you just don’t follow someone to their car in a parking garage at night to ask for their picture!” You ranted and he nodded.
“You’re absolutely right. That’s scary, when someone follows you all the way to your car…”
“It was! And it was one of those things where like, if I started to run I knew they would start running after me so I tried to stay calm but in the end I just freaked out a little bit.” You explained, “Fuck, now they’re going to write shit about me being rude online.” You sighed as you guys drove out to the wine bar you were going to be spending some time at this evening.
“Look, you know you did nothing wrong and you’ve never lost it on someone before. If they do post that video and see an empty car park no one is going to think you were being rude. You can’t chase down a woman at night in a parking structure.” He said and you sighed.
“You’re right…” you agreed after you calmed down a bit. “H-how do you do it?”
“Chase women down?” He asked with a playful smile and you rolled your eyes and giggled at his little joke.
“Seriously though. Like deal with the obsessed people and the stalkers that just follow you around from a distance.”
“It is scary for me too. I mean, it sucks to say you get used to it, but you will.” He said and you nodded, “Like I don’t really go out alone in the evenings any more, try to do everything in the day time, with friends if possible. And like at night I’ll drive if I really need to go out, but like I’ve caught people trying to sneak in behind my car at the gate at my home in London. Or just like wait out there for me to come and go. I hate having security there all the time, but for a time I did have someone around patrolling a bit, it did help. Gave me some peace of mind, you know?”
“Yeah…well sorry if I…dampened the mood, I’m just still a little shaken up.” You explained.
“No, I get it.” He assured you with a smile, “Well the wine bar we’re going to is very low-key, so I don’t think anyone will bug us until we walk out to leave. Unless you’re in the mood for something else?” He asked you and you shook your head.
“The wine bar sounds really good right now.” You said to him and he smiled.
Your evening with Harry had been really fun. Not that you guys never had fun, but he was being extra sweet and attentive considering what had happened to you the night before. There were an assortment of board games available to play or you could choose to color and talk, but seeing as you weren’t too keen on any of the games you pulled out your trusty deck of cards from the depths of your purse. He found it extremely amusing that you just had that in your purse but went easy on the teasing. 
You rotated playing a few games, you taught him how to play 21 and Speed and it was getting so competitive. Obviously, you were at an advantage considering you knew how to play the games already. He did alright at 21, but when you started to play speed your expertise shone. You were kicking his ass and eventually beat him enough times (four times) that he decided it was time to change games. He kicked your ass at Scrabble and Connect 4 for retribution, but by that point you’d had at least four glasses of wine and were pretty tipsy. He was too, he was all giggly and pink in the cheeks and the tip of his nose, almost as if he were freezing cold and not teeming with warmth. His voice had dropped a bit deeper and his eyes had a slight glassy sheen over them and they were a bit lidded. You were both far more touchy now, it started rather innocently though.
“You’re cheating.” You said to him as he laughed.
“How can you cheat at Scrabble!?” He asked through his laugh.
“You’re picking your tiles.”
“I am not!” He scoffed through a laugh.
“Let me pick one for you then.”
“Hell no.”
“I’m only getting consonants! I need to prove that something is up.”
“How is that possible?”
“It just is!” You said and he laughed.
“Only if I can pick your letter.”
“Okay, deal.” You agreed and you drew his next five tiles after he’d put down ‘reflex’ joint to your previous word, ‘car’. 
“I got one consonant, a good one too.” He said as he arranged them on his rack.
“Of course you did…” you murmured as you looked over your options. You really only had consonants. “Okay…” you said as you grabbed the only three tiles that would work with what was on the board, “Eggs.” You said with a small smile as you tagged on the g-g-s to one of the e’s in ‘reflex’ and he burst into laughter.
“That’s all you have?! I don’t believe this.” He said.
“It is!” You laughed through your insistence.
“Let me see.” He said reaching for your rack of letters and you batted his hand away.
“Stop cheating!”
“I’m not! I’m trying to help you.” He chuckled as he grabbed your wrists in one hand to grab the rack and turn it towards him. When he saw your letters his smile dropped, “Mmmm, I see your predicament. And here I thought you just couldn’t spell…” He teased with a smirk and you arched your eyebrows up at his little joke.
“Ha-ha.” You mocked and he chuckled.
“Come here.” He said patting the spot beside him on the tabletop and you were tipsy enough that you didn’t question it. You dragged your stool over beside his and he sighed that you were too far and you squealed in surprise when he grabbed the edge and tugged you even closer to him as easily as if he had slid your empty glasses of wine out of the way. You knew he was strong, you’d seen it with your own eyes over the course of your professional relationship together. But with your growing feelings and the wine fogging up your brain you melted inside at this simple display of strength.
“Geez!” You gasped and he chuckled.
“Sorry.” He hummed with a smile before patting at your hip and looking back at the rack of letters he took from you. “Okay, so…you’re a bit fucked.” He said after scanning the rack some more.
“Well, you didn’t need to drag me over here to tell me that.” You giggled and he turned to you.
“Well, you’re here now, so win-win I’d say.” He flirted and you felt the blood rushing up to your face and making your cheeks and ears go hot.
You didn’t move from his side the rest of the time you were there. All games were forgotten, you were just fiddling with each other’s fingers under the table, your hand resting over his thigh, talking nonsense, and giggling as the alcohol got to the both of you. The way he was looking at you was making you feel like the only other person on the planet. You typically shied away from intense, undivided attention but he wasn’t ostentatious in the way he gave it. It was subtle and personal, it made you feel seen. After ordering one more glass you decided it was time to go, so Harry called your driver. You were getting hungry for some real food as you’d only been munching on the complementary bread they’d been bringing you guys.
“Bill’s here.” He informed you and you reached for your bag while Harry came around and helped you off of the high stool. You were wearing some heels because he was just so tall, but of course, your landing was a bit shaky and you both laughed as he grabbed around your waist. “You good?” He asked with a grin and you nodded up at him, “Sure?”
“M’sure. Just got a little wobbly there.” You giggled as you glanced up at him.
“Here.” He said extending his hand.
“It’s alright. I’m good.” You assured him.
“I’m sure you are, but we’re supposed to do the pictures for the paps, remember?” He said more quietly.
“Oh right, right…” you mumbled and it made you a bit sad as you handed your hand over. He took it and started guiding you though the bar to get out.
You could see people in the bar also taking videos of you guys walking out, calling all this attention to yourself like you were supposed to. But hey, at least you were holding his hand. When you guys got outside the flashes started going off and the paps were calling out to you both but you kept your eyes down at Harry’s shoes, you were a little too tipsy for this. Harry’s grip on you tightened as he pulled you to the car waiting right along the curb and then opened the door to help you in before sliding in behind you.
“God, didn’t think there’d be so many.” He said and you nodded as you buckled up.
“Heading home?” Bill asked.
“Yeah, please. And can you make a little detour on the way so we could get some food?”
“Certainly.”
“Okay, we’re still choosing we’ll pick something on route to her place.”
“Sounds good, just let me know.” He smiled and Harry thanked him before asking you again what you wanted. 
You eventually settled on some dumpling place on the way and placed your order online so that it would be ready to pick up when you arrived. Thankfully, that all went to plan and soon you were being dropped off at your house. The lack of stimulation really perpetuated the tipsiness you were both feeling. You were laughing as you navigated your way to your kitchen in mostly the dark, guiding Harry through so that he wouldn’t get hurt.
“Here we are. Can’t wait to eat.” You said and he nodded in agreement. You guys split the food and then curled up on your couch to watch something on the TV while you ate and chatted. Harry started to sober up a lot faster than you which was great as he had to go home after this. You were trying to get on his level so you chugged your big glass of water and then dropped back onto the couch.
“You feeling alright?”
“Yeah, a bit better.” You said and he smiled.
“Good. Did you have fun?” He asked and you nodded.
“A lot of fun actually. Though to be fair, I think you pick fun things to do.” You said and he smiled.
“Oh good! I mean I think I’m quite boring.” He confessed.
“No…I don’t think you’re boring at all. I’m definitely more of a homebody so getting to do all these different things has actually been really great.” You assured him.
“Funny, I pegged you as more of an extrovert than me.” He said and you shook your head.
“Oh no, I’m definitely more introverted than anything.” You chuckled.
“You know, I have a lot of fun with you too. I’m glad it’s you I get to do this with.” He said as he glanced towards you and you smiled down at your lap.
“Yeah, me too.” You responded weakly, but he didn’t catch it, thankfully. 
Truth be told, you were still tipsy and were having a hard time getting down to his level of sobriety. And with that came this avalanche of sincerity that could not be avoided or misdirected. In fact, the longer he stayed with you the more you felt the thread of your composure starting to fray. You were fighting against yourself and your need to get closer to him, you wanted to feel his warmth radiating onto you, you wanted the scent of his cologne to waft over you as you buried yourself into his side. You wanted to feel the rumble of his chest when he spoke lowly to you.
“Hey, are you alright?”
“Yeah, yeah. Just…thinking.” You said through a tight lipped smile.
“About?”
“Just the film and how much fun I’m having. S’gonna be sad when it’s over.”
“Yeah, it will be. But you don’t have to think about it being over just yet.” He reminded. “We’ve still got a couple more months of filming and things…and this.” He said and you nodded.
“Yeah, you’re right.” You decided and suddenly stood up. “I need to go to the bathroom. Ummm, let me take all of this…” you said of your food containers.
“It’s alright, I’ve got this, you go on.” He assured you and with one more confirmation via a firm nod you headed off to the bathroom.
You just needed to splash some cold water on your face or something. Do anything to freshen up a little and get out of your head. So you did just that as soon as you’d relieved yourself. You grabbed one of the hand towels and soaked it with cold water and dabbed it all over your face. After a few moments you were heading back out and to the kitchen where Harry was just filling up the bag the dumplings had come in with you trash.
“Do you want the vinegar and and chili oil?” He asked, hearing your steps behind him.
“Ummm, just the chili oil. I repurpose it.” You said and he smiled and dropped in the two little sauce cups of black vinegar before tying it up. “You can just leave it, I have to take it out back.” 
“Sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Alright. Well, it’s nearing 1am, I should get going.” He said as he turned around and you nodded.
“Yeah. Ummm, are you good t-to drive?” You asked and he nodded.
“Yeah, the food really sealed the deal.” He chuckled and you smiled.
“Positive? You can stand on one leg?” You asked jokingly and he did so. “Count down from 100 in intervals of 7?” You asked with a raised eyebrow and he scrunched his face down pensively.
“I can try…I didn’t finish high school so it might be a bit harder for me thank most.” He said with a small grin.
“Mmm…don’t think that’ll hold up in court.” You joked and he laughed and shook his head.
“You’re quite funny, you know?” He said and you smiled and shrugged.
“Triple threat.”
“I think that third is supposed to be the dancing bit actually.”
“Who cares about dancing? Would you rather a partner who can dance or who makes you laugh?”
“Mmm…Facts.” He smiled and you shrugged.
“No brainer.” You said and he nodded, “Okay, I’ll uh, I’ll walk you out.” You said and you guys made your way to your door.
“Genuinely, I’ve had an especially fun time with you tonight.” Harry said as you got into the foyer.
“Me too. I’ve never done something like that before.”
“Well, we could always do it again, maybe you’ll have better luck with Scrabble.” He smiled and you chuckled.
“Yeah, maybe.” You said, “Hey so ummm, in a few months the LA Opera is opening up Turandot.” You said and he looked at you quizzically, “I’m sure you know the most famous song, or at least heard it?”
“How does it go?”
“It’s the…Nessun dorma, nessun dorma. Tu pure o principessa, nella tua fredda stanza… you’ve heard it.” You said and he nodded.
“Yeah, I think I have.”
“Yeah, it’s this incredible Italian opera and I’ve always wanted to see it but none of my friends are really into that. Not that you are, but you said you like classical music, this is kind of a branch of of that…in a way and-”
“I’d love to go.” He said and you smiled.  
“Really?”
“Yeah, sure. We could tally off another one of our appearances.” He said and you bit your lip as the pang of hurt radiated from your chest and out to the rest of your body. But you smiled and nodded.
“Y-yeah, exactly. Just get another one of those out of the way.” You responded, trying your best to ward off the growing knot that was lodged up in your throat. You really were just inviting him as a friend, not as part of your PR arrangement, so the sting of rejection remained.
“Cool, I’ll get the details from my team then.”
“Yeah.” You nodded, holding back the need to cry now. It hurt so bad, you hadn’t been in this position in a long while, the unrequited affections position. You really just struggled with dating so you hadn’t really spent a lot of time with someone you were into in a long time so everything was just intensified in a way, including the disappointment. You quickly opened up the door to get him out of there as soon as possible so that you could go cry it out for a bit. “Remember we don’t shoot tomorrow morning.” You reminded and he smiled.
“Positive?” He asked as he turned to you and you nodded.
“It’s an afternoon shoot tomorrow.” 
“Okay, thank you. When’s call time?”
“For you it’s 3pm.” You said and he nodded.
“Okay…I really should start adding these to my calendar.”
“You should.” You concurred as he turned back to you with a smile.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He said and you nodded and he stepped closer and went in for a hug. You did hug sometimes, but you didn’t want to just now, but you gave in anyway, relaxing into his embrace as he squeezed around you just a bit. “Sleep well, alright?” He said softly as he started to pull back and you nodded but then he turned his head a bit and your noses bumped together.
“Sorry-”
“S’my fault.” He chuckled and then glanced down at your lips. “I ummm…” he trailed off and just grabbed your jaw gently and tilted it up and kissed you quickly on the lips. You didn’t even have time to react before he pulled away. “Shit.” He cursed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! Obviously, that was a mistake, I shouldn’t have done that.” He rambled as he let you go and took a step back.
“It’s alright, Harry.” You said and he shook his head.
“I didn’t even ask you and ummm…I don’t know, something just came over me and I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean t-to kiss you. Fuck…” he cursed at himself.
“Harry, I’m not upset. It’s fine.” You assured, trying to hint at the fact that you were very okay with this. 
“It’s not fine, Y/N. It’s not.” He said firmly and you couldn’t help it as your eyes started to well up, “It was a mistake. I’m not like into- like it just happened, okay?” He said instead and you just nodded. He was backed up enough now that he couldn’t see your glassy eyes all that well anymore.
“I get it, Harry. Drive safe.” You rushed out and then hurried inside and closed your door before locking it and resting your forehead against it as a soft sob broke past your throat.
*****************
After the initial shock wore off Harry rushed up to your door again, about to knock and apologize again but just as his first raised up he heard the latch of the deadbolt and sighed in defeat. He rested his forehead against the thick door for just a moment before he walked to his car. He got in and then glanced up to see if he could spot you through a window or make out where in the house you were by the flick of a light, but it just stayed dark for a minute or so and he shook his head.
“Fuck…fuck me.” He grumbled before taking off.
Harry actually had no idea where that impulse to kiss you had come from. He did like you, he wouldn’t have agreed to anything more than the film if he didn’t. And he had also had so much fun working with you so far, it was just so easy and such a good vibe that he often forgot that it was “work”. Like tonight, after having a few glasses of wine he was feeling rather touchy and vulnerable, like he usually did when he drank, and it was so nice to feel that relaxed around you. He felt comfortable and it really was just one of those impulsive thoughts that he had. He had thought about kissing you before, you would for the film. But lately it was on his mind a lot more because those scenes would start filming soon. Maybe even in the upcoming week. 
Harry wanted to call Tommy or Jeffrey and tell them what he did but he kew he’d get an earful and he didn’t want that right now. He just needed a little sympathy and possibly another drink. So he called one his more discrete friends as she also lived in Beverly Hills, just about 10 minutes away from you. And they sat out by the fire pit as they sipped on a cocktail. He was petting at her dog’s back while he shared what he’d done and how anxious he was feeling about having to face you at work now. He told her about the PR stunt and how he felt like he’d majorly crossed a line. And when she asked him why he was beating himself over this so much he wasn’t sure what to say. And she helped talk him down and reminded him that if you had said it was OK and you weren’t angry that this was entirely about him.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you’re making it bigger than it is. I mean…do you like her?”
“Of course I like her. We get along really well and-”
“You know what I mean, H.” She said with a knowing smile and he licked over his lips.
“Yeah, I guess I do a bit. Like starting too but I can’t you know? Last time I got involved with a co-worker it didn’t turn out so great for her. People were cruel.” He said.
“Well this isn’t last time. But I mean, if that’s now a boundary that you really don’t want to test ever again then do what’s going to make you feel better. But I mean, attraction and feelings are sort of out of our hands, you know?” She said with a smile, “And burying those too deep also isn’t good for you.” 
“Yeah.” He sighed.
“Did she kiss back?” 
“No.” He said quietly and she hummed, “I mean, it was fast…maybe she would have…I’m glad I didn’t stick around to find out though.” He admitted.
“So…I think you know how you want to proceed then.” She said and he sighed and nodded.
“Yeah, I guess…I guess I do.” 
He ended up staying the night there as neither of them had anything in the morning. But he headed home after one final pep talk from her, he needed to mentally prepare for seeing you again. He was an absolute wreck over it, his stomach was turning anxiously when he arrived before his call time just to talk to you, you were likely already there in hair and makeup. There was a dinner party scene you guys were filming, it was the scene where his character began to see yours in a different light. Very appropriate. 
“Hey Harry.” One of staffers greeted him as he breezed by.
“Hello!” He waved and then pushed up his glasses further not he bridge of his nose. He hurried over to the hair/makeup trailer. He knocked and heard a cheerful “come in!” From the artist Veronica. Harry stepped inside and as soon as your eyes met through the mirror you looked away quickly and then his eyes met Veronica’s.
“Hey H! I wasn’t expecting you yet!” She said with a smile.
“Just wanted to drop by a bit earlier.” He said and she nodded.
“Well feel free to sit, I’m almost done with Y/n. I’m ahead of schedule.”
“Thanks, ummm, I actually needed a word w-with Y/n.” He said to her, “If I can?” He asked and then glanced to you, to see if that was alright with you. You held his gaze for a second before you nodded.
“It’ll just be a moment, V.” You said to her.
“Maybe like 5-10 minutes.” He said to you and your inhale literally stopped. Your stomach fluttered violently, your heart pounded hard, and your mouth slightly dried.
“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll go get a drink. Do you guys want anything from the cafe?”
“No thanks, I’m good.”, “No thank you.” You and Harry responded and she smiled and gave him a pat on the arm as she walked past him and out of the trailer. Harry approached and sat in the seat adjacent to yours. You turned to him and he looked sad, defeated.
“Y/n, I’m so fucking sorry.” He apologized again and your eyes flickered down to your lap and you shook your head with a small smile.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Harry.” You assured him, “I’m not mad. Quite frankly I’m relieved because…because I…I uh-”
“Please, don’t.” He interrupted and your eyes fluttered up to his as the lump in your throat grew, “I know you what you’re about to say. Please don’t say it.” He implored and you bit down on your lip to hold back from frowning. “It doesn’t work. It won’t.” He said with certainty, “I’ve been there…I’ve fallen in love with a really wonderful person who was working along side me and it messed her up.” He said with a frown. “I can’t do that to anyone ever again.” He explained.
“I get it.” You whispered.
“Believe me, it’s hard. I think we work well together, don’t we. We mesh!”
“Really nicely.” You agreed.
“Yeah.” He confirmed, “So let’s-lets just do what we need to do and call it a day.”
“Okay.” You nodded your head robotically. You just shut down all your feelings because you couldn’t show him how deep in it you were by now. If you could save yourself from anything, at least the embarrassment.
“Does this change anything for you in terms of like the dates-er appearances w-we have to do?” He asked and you shook your head.
“No. Don’t want to make a fuss. Fred is kind of a nag, don’t want him harping and teasing me about it until something more embarrassing or astonishing makes him forget it.” You said.
“Yeah, they can give you a hard time…” he said and you nodded.
“Well uh- actually there is one thing.” You said and he nodded, “T-the opera thing ummm, let’s not do that.” You said and he frowned a bit, “It’s just that when I asked I ummm…I wasn’t asking you to go as an idea for the appearances. This kind of means a lot to me and I was actually asking you to come with me as a friend.” You clarified, “I’d want to go with well…someone who-”
“I get it.” He said with a small smile.
“Thank you.” You nodded.
“Well that’s it I guess.”
“Yeah.” You whispered and he stood and left quite awkwardly.
Once again, he was kicking himself over what he’d just done but it was for the best. He needed to put an end to this before he let himself like you a little too much and it ruined everything. Or worse, he gave in and you guys tried for a bit before things inevitably went to shit because of how awful the public were to you until they wore you down…better safe than sorry. He needed to stop this before it was too late.
***************
You were definitely hurt but you understood where Harry was coming from. And maybe he was right, it was just a bad idea to get involved more than professionally. Admittedly, if you had been in the place of his last girlfriend there was no way you could’ve been as poised as she was through all of it. Through all of the rumors, all of the hate, all of the lies, all of the tasteless jokes… you were confident in yourself but not to that extent, surely you’d have a public breakdown at some point with all of that pressure. 
But as the days went by you realized that you’d soon be filming the more intimate parts of this film. Normally, films didn’t film chronologically but this one did. The director really wanted to capture the natural growing closeness between you and Harry as filming progressed. Truth be told, you were acting your asses off and everyone on the set was buying it even though the bond between you two had broken down. Even your dates were different; you guys weren’t talking as much as before or learning more and more details about each other like before. Now you mostly talked about work to him or your plans after filming but nothing too personal. 
You were still nervous for the intimate scenes though, that’s what you would be doing today, the first intimate scene. You would surely do something to give away just how real your yearning was for him. Your actions couldn’t lie. Especially after you hadn’t been able to kiss back when he’d kissed you a few weeks before.
“Nervous?” Veronica asked and you nodded.
“Yeah, a bit.” You confessed.
“Don’t be. Just work with the natural tension and attraction the two of you already have going on and it’ll be perfect.”
“What do you mean?”
“Girl, you’re really gonna make me say it?” She said with a tsk.
“There’s nothing else going on.” You said and she gave you a disbelieving look.
“What was that a couple weeks ago with the “ten minute talk” he needed to have with you?” She asked you.
“It genuinely was a talk. We had a misunderstanding and I was a little upset at him.” You explained and her gaze softened from teasing and playful to sorry for assuming.
“Oh…I could’ve sworn that you guys-”
“No. No. I mean…I…I like him. Like that.” You said a bit shamefully and she pouted and sat down in the seat beside yours and nodded as she listened, “It’s kind of impossible not to when we spend so much time together and have gotten to know each other the way we have. Like god, it’s so amateur of me…” you shook your head and she sighed.
“Hey, no. Look at me, hon. Attraction is natural, you can’t help how you feel or how your brain responds to something! And quite frankly I think he…likes you too.” She said and you smiled sadly and shook your head.
“He doesn’t, that’s what he said that day. That he didn’t want to blur the lines and like…it’s been so weird since. So dry and robotic…ugh, I hate it so much. I don’t know how I can do this for another eight weeks.” You sighed.
“Well after you have to kiss all day just…act cool. It’s whatever, yeah? I’ve kissed tons of people and not all of it has to mean something, you know?”
“Yeah… I hope I can.”
“You can. You can do it. And i-if you need to talk about it or just be sad about it after you can talk to me. I won’t say a thing. Promise.” She assured you. 
“Thank you.” You said to Veronica and she smiled and nodded.
“Of course, hon.” she assured and this made you feel better. You could certainly get through the next weeks of filming if you had someone to talk to about this.
…. 8 WEEKS LATER ….
The lighting was dim as you approached the front door, the heavy and constant knocks on the door made you hasten your step. You finally opened the door to see Harry drenched from head to toe, clothes clinging to his skin as his eyes met yours.
“What’re you doing here?” You asked, your features creased in confusion as he stepped froward and you stepped back into the entrance.
“I needed to see you.” He said as he swung the front door back and it closed with a heavy thud.
“You just saw me-”
“I didn’t like seeing you with him.” He said coming closer and you sighed.
“Listen-”
“He’s not nearly good enough for you.” He said to you firmly and you scoffed.
“As much as I valued your opinion before, I don’t really care for it right now and I didn’t ask.” You responded.
“You didn’t need to. I know you.” He said as he reached for you and you increased the distance between the two of you.
“No you don’t. Not anymore.” You shook your head as your eyes started to well up.
“Don’t say that.” He frowned, the hurt evident on his face, “You’re my best friend. I know you.” He insisted again and you let out a sarcastic laugh.
“We haven’t spoken since…” you trailed off and swallowed thickly.
“Since I let you walk away.” He finished your thought for you and you nodded. “I was scared.” He admitted.
“You weren’t scared with April or Sarah.” You said and he sighed.
“They weren’t you. There was more to lose with you.” He explained and you shook your head.
“That’s a miserable excuse. You always do this!” You groaned with frustration, “You see that I’ve moved on, that I’m happy and then you come to me and make me believe you-”
“I know you’re not happy.” He interrupted.
“I’m happier than when I’m playing this stupid game with you!” You raised your voice, your breathing shallow as you expressed your frustration and he frowned. “You say you love me and fuck me and then say we can’t be together!”
“Can’t you see how that proves how much I love you?” He asked sincerely, his eyes meeting yours and you glanced away and shook your head, “I’ve loved you this whole time but I can’t risk losing my best friend.” He said and you sniffled as your tears started to fall.
“You don’t love me.” You rejected his claim, “You love who I’ve been for you. Always available, desperate for you to realize that I’ve been here the whole time, but I’m not that person anymore. I don’t need you any more.” You said and he frowned, “You don’t know what’s it been like…” you said to him with a sad smile, “Being here. Waiting. Watching you choose someone else over and over again and when it fails you come running back to me. But I’ve realized that if I wasn’t good enough to be your first or second choice, surely I’m not enough for you now. And I never will be.” You said to him, your voice cracked a bit.
“You are enough. You’re more than! I just wasn’t good enough for you. I didn’t want to hurt you and lose you.” He explained reaching for your hands and you pulled them out of his grip.
“Well, you hurt me any way. And you lost me anyway. And now that you know you’ve lost me you hate to see it. Well good.” You seethed and he frowned.
“Baby-”
“Don’t. Don’t start with that.” You warned with a frown, “I don’t believe you anymore. I gave my heart over to you every time, like an idiot, thinking that I’d be safe with you and every single time you’ve disappointed me! Well, not anymore.” You said and he reached for you again. “Please leave.”
“I’m not leaving until you tell me that you love me too.” He pressed and you scoffed.
“You need to move on!” You laughed incredulously.
“I can’t! Believe me, I’ve tried!” He raised his voice, his breathing hard, “I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you and that I’ve disappointed you but I’m not afraid anymore.” He said reaching for your hands once more and this time you let him take them, “I’m not afraid of the love we have for each other. I will do anything I can to prove to you that it’ll be different this time. That I won’t disappoint you ever again.” He said earnestly, “Please.” He begged and you swallowed thickly. “I need you like I need air! Being away from you has been torture. And seeing you with someone else has been worse than torture.” He said grabbing your jaw and angling you up gently. His thumb wiped your tears away carefully and you closed your eyes, “Nuh-uh, look at me.” He insisted and your eyes blinked open and met his again. “Say it. Say that you love me, baby. I need to hear you say it.” He practically begged as he leaned in closer.
“I love you.” You whispered and he quickly closed the gap between you. 
His warm, plump lips met your own hungrily. The soft wet sounds of your kisses and shallow breaths were  the only noises in the background, everything was perfectly still otherwise and it really felt like you two were the only people in the world in this moment. You were so close his sopping clothes were transferring the wetness to your own top and his strong hands were holding you low on your hips now, you could feel the cold of them through the thin sleep shorts you were in. “I love you, I do.” You mumbled against his lips and then pulled back and he chased after you but you turned your head to the side and squeezed your eyes shut as he kissed the corner of your mouth and up your jaw, “But I love me more.” You said as you pushed him back and he loosened his grip on you as he pulled back to look at you, his disappointment evident in his gaze, his eyes searching yours. “I’m more than a last resort.” You said and he frowned, “I always chose you and you never chose me, so I’m choosing myself over you this time.” You said and he looked at you with disappointment.
“Cara-”
“You’re going to be okay.” You assured him and he shook his head.
“What a silly thing to say.” He whispered with doubt, a sad smile on his lips.
“If I am after everything, you will be too.” You assured him with a half smile and he let you go.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized quite pitifully and you nodded.
“I know.” You said once more and he rolled his lips together and nodded before silently turning around and heading out the door. You walked over and turned the lock and then turned around and let out a long exhale and then your lips turned up in a small, but sincere smile as you glanced up to the ceiling and made direct eye contact with the camera peering down at you.
“CUT!” The director shouted and you exhaled and your smile widened, “And that’s a wrap!” She shouted and everyone broke out in a cheer. She rushed over and hugged you tight, praising you for how excellent this final scene was. Harry came over as well and got his own hug from her, thanking him for his delivery and congratulating him on a job well done. You also gave him a brief hug before greeting others from the cast.
All the raw emotions of the project being completed really helped you guys along this final scene. It had been one of those magical moments where the first take went perfectly. You guys ran through the entire dialogue and it worked exactly as everyone had envisioned it. Truly, you hardly even noticed the cameras around you guys. The film would be released on Prime in three short months, which was when your contractual obligation to each other would end. Your appearances together were going to be far more “private” now that filming was about to wrap. Sure, you’d be seen out at places together, but it was supposed to start to slow down. You had prepared what you would say when someone inevitably asked you what was going on between you two during the promo tour and press junkets. That you guys got really close to the characters and also each other during filming and just let these bleed together while filming and that obviously, it had started to cool down since you weren’t seeing each other every single day for 10 to 11 of the 24 hours the day had. 
“We did it.” Harry said as he came up to you as you guys got ready to go and you nodded.
“Yeah. It’s crazy that it’s already done.” You chuckled, still a little bit in shock and he nodded.
“Right…well I did have fun filming with you.” 
“Same.” You said with a small smile and he nodded.
“Are you going to the cast dinner tomorrow?”
“Of course, I’m in the cast…” You said through a chuckle.
“Duh…” he said nervously as he looked down at his feet in a bit of embarrassment.
“Well I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Yeah.” You confirmed and turned to get into your car and just offered one final wave before you took off. 
You glanced back to see him still standing there, watching you go. You were glad your windows were tinted so that he couldn’t see you staring back, but you just weren’t sure what to feel. As much as you were into him, you were dreading the rest of your time “together”. Clearly to him this was just like any other task he had for work, maybe he was used to this but you weren’t. You’d never done anything like this before and you kind of expected him to be a little more understanding and not so harsh and cold about it like he had been with you.
…. TWO MONTHS LATER ….
Harry wasn’t that clueless, he noticed the shift in your interactions with him after filming ended. Almost as if you were relieved that you wouldn’t have to see each other every single day for hours and hours at a time. He knew that you liked him and he wished he had handled that differently because clearly the way he went about it hurt your feelings to the extent that you’d gone completely cold on him.
When you’d go out and he’d grab your hand it was dead weight in his grip. When he’d drape his arm around your shoulder he could feel the tension in them. And when you’d exchange “loving glances” your smile didn’t light up your eyes like before. Maybe it was just what you needed to do to get through the last month of this stunt but it was just going bad now. He wanted to apologize but he had no idea what he even needed to apologize for because he wasn’t sorry about the conversation he’d had with you.
You guys needed to tighten things up at the personal level, clearly he got far too comfortable with you fast and it scared him. He didn’t want to get hurt again and he didn’t want to hurt you either. He’d done this to protect you both from getting far more involved than necessary and now he felt like even the potential friendship he could have with you was crumbling before him which was really unfortunate. 
He was feeling bummed out as he drove past your tall, wooden gate and up the long driveway to your house. He saw another car there but didn’t really mind it as he parked somewhere out of its way. He was getting out of his car when the front door opened and out rushed some guy who definitely looked familiar, probably some other industry guy. His hair was wet and he looked a bit surprised to see Harry there, so he rushed to his car.
“Hey!” He called after him and hurried towards him.
“Look man, she said you guys aren’t dating and-”
“Wait, she slept with you?” Harry asked with a small frown.
“So you are dating?” He asked and Harry shook his head ‘no’, “Thank, fuck. Then, yes, we did.” He said and Harry nodded and swallowed thickly.
“Is she- can I go in?”
“Yeah, she’s just finishing up her shower.” He said and Harry nodded.
“Thanks, mate.” He mumbled before heading towards the door. 
With every step he took the anger rose and rose further and further. You were being reckless, putting everything in jeopardy all to what? Get back at him for not liking you back? He was waiting in the kitchen, but when he heard you singing along to whatever was playing on your phone as you made your way down he hurried out to meet you. When he rounded the corner and saw you coming down the final step you gasped in surprise.
“Oh my god, Harry!” You scolded with a hand over your chest as you put your music on pause. He didn’t answer so you walked past him, “You’re here a lot early.” You said to him playfully as he followed you wordlessly. He was just so fuming mad after seeing a faint hickey right beneath your jaw, “Hello?” You questioned him until his frustrated gaze met yours.
“What the fuck is the matter with you?” He questioned you.
“What’re you talking about?”
“I saw him leaving. That guy.” He came right out and said it.
“Look, it was a spur of the moment thing, we were just having dinner and one thing led to another and-”
“You fucked him.” He said and you sighed. “How could you do that?” He asked you in disbelief.
“What do you mean? It’s not like we’re actually together.” You scoffed and he frowned but then let the anger overcome him once more.
“Exactly! We’re not together and if anyone sees some stupid dweeb leaving your house then all of this is going to be for nothing!” He rationalized.
“Oh my god, no one’s gonna see anything, Harry…”
“They might see that fucking hickey on your neck!” He argued, “How clueless can you be?!” He was berating you now, his voice raised and his expression creased in a scowl and you frowned.
“I didn’t think about that. I mean, I-I can cover it. If not, they’ll just think it was you.” You said more quietly.
“No one would ever believe that was me. I have never left visible marks on anyone I’ve been with. My fans will never buy it.” He said pointedly. “You can’t do shit with other people while we are contractually obligated to each other. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out, Y/N!”
“Well, there is no clause about that! And I was careful!”
“Not careful enough! I can’t believe you would do something so stupid and all for what? To get back at me?” He scoffed with an accusatory tone and now it was your turn to scoff incredulously.
“Oh, don’t fucking flatter yourself, Harry!” You laughed mawkishly as you rolled your eyes up in disbelief.
“Don’t pretend like you didn’t do this on purpose to piss me off.” 
“Why would I want to piss you off if I have to spend a whole fucking day with you?” You asked him and well, he had no idea. “He likes me and he wanted to have dinner with me. I said I couldn’t do that out in public so I offered for him to come over instead.”
“He doesn’t like you, he just wanted to fuck you.” Harry said with a sarcastic smile.
“Well good for him then! He did!”
“You’re being childish.”
“I’m being childish? You’re the one waltzing in here over an hour early, might I add, yelling at me because I hooked up with someone in the privacy of my home when we’re not even a thing!”
“I already told you why I’m angry at you over this.”
“Well I already told you that I was careful! This is my first time doing something like this and I made a bad judgment call. I genuinely didn’t think it would be a problem.” You said and he shook his head. 
“You knew it would be. You did it to get back at me for…never mind.” He huffed and rolled his eyes.
“For what? Finish the sentence, Harry.” You demanded.
“You know why.” He said lowly and you arched your eyebrows up.
“I don’t. Enlighten me, please.” You insisted.
“Because of what I said to you before about us. I hurt your feelings and-”
“Yeah, you were kind of a prick about it but I’m not offended. You were right about that and I think I’ve done enough to manage what I used to feel for you-”
“Used to feel? The wave of hostility you’ve unleashed upon me after I rejected you says otherwise. And I think you’re just acting out because you can’t get a handle on your feelings. You’re being impulsive and it’s going to throw a wrench in things!”
“I’m being impulsive? Who kissed who, Harry? I’m forgetting…” You said sarcastically and he glanced to the ground.
“That was a mistake.”
“Yeah, you’ve made that abundantly clear over and over again, thanks.” You said with irritation. “And I’m not being hostile. I’m doing what I need to do until we just get this stupid thing over with!” You said to him, completely exasperated, “I’ve never done this before, OK? I didn’t expect t-to like you like I do-er did.” You corrected yourself with a shake of your head, “I’m sure it was weird for you the first time you did it.” You said and his jaw clenched up because you were right. 
His first PR stunt fucked him up for a while…he was still a teenager, frontal lobe smooth as butter. But he let himself fall and he thought she was too and well, to this day he was still a hot topic amongst her projects. It did bother him a little bit at first, he reckoned it’d bother anyone but he didn’t give it the satisfaction of a negative response ever. He changed the narrative, called it a compliment even though he had no idea where the fuck he was going with that at the moment. He never said a bad thing even through his music even though he’d been painted as the “bad guy” who was a player and couldn’t commit over and over again. He’d hoped it would work out but to anyone outside of it, it was kind of obvious that it wouldn’t go anywhere. After all, what could a 23 year old want with a 18 year old in any serious manner? The point being, that these PR stunts and crossing professional lines always left one or both people hurting if they weren’t overly cautious, which is why he had said what he had said to you. 
But now he was jealous, gut wrenchingly jealous when he shouldn’t be. You had made a mistake but you had been cautious to not endanger what you guys had signed on for. He was being far too harsh with you and sensitive about this and he needed to reel it back in. You were waiting for him to say something, anything…
“You shouldn’t have done that. It was a stupid mistake.” He said again and you swallowed thickly.
“Yeah, I get it.” You responded lowly.
“Do you?” He asked. He was patronizing you and you glanced up to the ceiling and shook your head.
“Harry, honestly, I don’t need this. Please leave.” You said to him and he frowned.
“But we-”
“I don’t want to be with you for the whole fucking day and pretend that I like you.” You said and he felt his heart shrivel up.
“We have an obligation to do an appearance-”
“Well I’ll see you around dinner time then because I don’t want to be around you right now.” You said to him and he bit on the inside of his cheek to distract from the hurt in his heart.
“Yeah, alright.” He said lowly and turned around to leave.
“Congrats by the way.” You said to him and he sighed and looked back at you quizzically, “You got what you wanted this whole time, I don’t think I like you anymore.” You said to him callously and he suddenly wanted to throw up so he just hurried out of there and sat in his car in utter silence for a few minutes before taking off.
You guys did meet over dinner and he apologized for how he’d handled the whole situation earlier that day. You'd cooled off enough as well and apologized for not considering what he had mentioned and assured him that you wouldn’t do it again while you were contractually obligated to each other. He was hoping to hear you say that you didn’t mean what you’d said about not liking him anymore, but he never got the satisfaction. He was certain you’d spoken purely out of anger with him, especially after he’d been such a dick about it, but maybe you just needed to tell yourself that to really not let your feelings grow anymore than they had or even to just not have some illusion that he was jealous. Which he was, but he’d never admit that to you or anyone else, he hardly admitted it to himself. But by the end of the night you were both very cordial with each other and able to hug before heading your own ways.
…. FOUR MONTHS LATER ….
The film had been a success to say the least. It was getting decent reviews and your press for it had been good. After you and Harry had put aside your problems after your fight things got monumentally better. There were tons of questions about whether you guys were dating or not and you both explained your attraction and dedication to your roles expertly, leaving a hint of mystery behind every time this came up, in very Harry-esque nature. But each night before you went to bed in whatever city you were for the night you thought of Harry, how could you not?
Of course you still liked him, even now, after months of not seeing each other your heart went all soft and gooey at the thought of him. Yeah, you had said that you didn’t like him anymore hoping to get a reaction out of him when you fought. You knew that he was jealous that day and you wanted him to just admit it, you wanted to get a rise out of him and hope he spoke up but in his true obstinate nature, he never did. You wondered what would’ve happened if he had admitted it. Where would you be now? Probably on a vacation somewhere really getting to know the parts of each other that you’d left guarded, which admittedly weren’t many.
“Earth to Y/N…” your friend said, snapping you out of your thoughts and you chuckled in slight embarrassment.
“Sorry, what?” You asked.
“I asked if you and Harry still talk.” She repeated her question.
“Oh right…ummm, n-not really. It’s not like we’re close friends, we just worked together. We just had to be super chummy during the press tours and stuff. Like it was a really superficial friendship I’d say.” You fibbed and she sighed.
“So no free shows for us…” She mumbled and you smiled a bit and shrugged apologetically, “You had one job.” She joked and you giggled before getting back to eat and everyone else started talking again. 
In reality, you and Harry had gotten close after spending so much time together. You’d shared a lot of things with him and vise versa. He had been a little more hesitant to take it there but after a good month or so of constantly being around each other and “seeing each other” he started to open up about more real and deep things. Things like how much he worried about his mom, how she deserved to be happy and have a full life full of love. How he was worried that he’d never be able to really stop making music and touring at the level he did now and it would affect his ability to marry and have his own family. How he wished there was a way to know that you were doing the right thing or going down the best path and you guys talked about that a lot. About what “the right thing” was. About what it meant to be happy and fulfilled. What was most important to him now and could he afford to keep pushing the rest of his life back to relish where he was now.
You were an over thinker, much like him, and you guys talked about how nice it was when you didn’t worry so much and just lived day to day, focusing on that day’s challenges and blessings. It was nice, you felt comfortable around him and safe, looked after. He was good at making people feel seen and special and with all of that it was hard not to start to fall for him. You missed him a lot. You wanted to text him or call him sometimes just to see how he was doing, what he was up to, if by any chance he missed you too…When you had that thought you smiled to yourself a bit and talked yourself out of it. Of course he didn’t miss you, he was probably glad you were gone, something less for him to deal with and worry about.
****************
Harry’s POV
Harry had been lying in bed for a good hour already, drifting in and out of sleep. He canceled his work out and his morning swim, he didn’t have the energy to go to that right now. And that’s how he knew that he was in a bad way, when even those simple pleasures weren’t even a little appealing to him. In all honesty, he’d been feeling like this for a few weeks now and it all started when he was at dinner with some friends and one of your songs came over the speakers at the restaurant. At first it felt good to hear your voice, it made him feel happy and warm inside, but when he was at home later that night and all alone in his bed he started to miss you. And he felt so awful. 
He felt awful about how he’d handled his attraction towards you. He hated how afraid he was of doing what his heart asked him to. He missed going on “dates” with you. He missed the conversations you guys had, he missed seeing the sincere care in your eyes when he shared things or opened up about topics he felt nervous about. He was never judged by you, in fact he felt accepted with you. He looked forward to the time you’d spend together off the set for a reason, it was because he liked you. A lot. And now he felt foolish for being too scared to admit it when he had the chance. He was sad when he came to the realization that you’d probably moved on and closed off your heart to him after how he behaved.
Regardless, he wanted to see you or at the very least to hear your voice. He at least needed to reach out and let you know that he was thinking of you. He did have a trip to LA in a few weeks and he decided that he’d reach out and see if you wanted to hang out for a bit, he only had two days of work things to take care of but he could add a few more days to his travel plans if it meant making things right with you.
…. A FEW WEEKS LATER ….
You were genuinely shocked when Harry’s name lit up your phone screen one breezy afternoon. It was past midnight his time so you had a mind to just ignore it, he was probably drunk or something…but then you remembered how sweet and giggly he was when he’d had a little much to drink, so you swiped at your screen and brought your phone up to your ear.
“Hello?” 
“Hey!” He sounded relieved. Relieved that you had answered?
“Ummm…are you drunk?” You asked immediately and he huffed out a little chuckle.
“No…why would I be drunk at this hour?” He asked and you furrowed your eyebrows a little bit in confusion.
“Well you’re calling me past midnight your time so I just assumed. Unless something is wrong? Are you okay?” You asked next.
“Yeah, I’m fine. And I’m actually on your time. And while I enjoy day drinking as much as the next person I can assure you I am not drunk. I just ummm…I wanted to see if you had any free time in the next couple days or so? Maybe we could see each other?” He suggested hopefully and you felt your stomach sink. 
The less mature part of you wanted to be a smart ass with him, tell him you didn’t need to hang out as your contract was long over. But you did miss him and as much as his invitation raised up some of your past irritations with him it wasn’t worth being a bitch to him over, especially after all of that time. Maybe this was him extending an olive branch? Maybe you guys could be proper friends now that your working relationship was over.
“Ummm, yeah. I actually don’t have any plans at all the next few days.” You explained.
“And work?”
“I’m not doing anything right now just relishing in the big bucks from our hit rom-com.” You said with a dry sarcasm and he chuckled.
“God, already letting all that fame get to your head, are you?” He teased and you giggled.
“Yeah, I’m changed.” You responded and he laughed. “Well, what did you have in mind?” You asked.
“Dinner? I’m renting this really beautiful place up in the hills and it has the most impeccable views, you’d love it. There’s a hot tub and a pool and a piano, we could just hang out here for a while? Or if you prefer to do something in town somewhere we could do that too.”
“Well I do want to see this house you’re staying at but ummm, I don’t want to impose or anything and-”
“I’m inviting you over, you’re not imposing in any way, love.” He assured.
“Alright then. Well when do you prefer I come over?”
“Do you want to do tomorrow? Say around 3 or 4?” He asked and you bit on your lip, “We could talk, swim, share music because I’m certain you’ve been writing.” He said knowingly and you smiled.
“Yeah, that’s good. I’ll show up sometime between 3 and 4, gotta keep you on your toes, you know?”
“Yeah.” He hummed, “So bring your swim suit, or don’t I mean, either way you can expect to get in the water…” he said suggestively and you chuckled.
“Should I bring anything else?”
“No just yourself.” He said and you nodded, “We can plan dinner once you’re here.”
“Alright, sounds good. See ya’.” 
“See you soon.” He replied and then you quickly hung up.
You set your phone down on your lap and just let your face contort in confusion. What was that all about? You guys weren’t even friends… sure, things were this easy with him all the time but you couldn’t help but question his motives. Maybe he still felt guilty for how things transpired between the two of you and he just needed to do this to confirm that you weren’t upset at him. You grabbed your phone and called him back, he picked up right away.
“Hello?”
“Why are you doing this?” You asked.
“Wait, what?” He questioned you and you sighed.
“What do you want from me by asking me over to hang out or whatever?” You asked more clearly and Harry frowned upon hearing you asking this.
“Ummm, I didn’t…mean anything by it, it’s just hanging out.” He said and you sighed.
“Right, but we’re not friends.” You said and his heart lurched in his chest, “Now that we aren’t working together we can be or what?” You asked for clarity.
“I mean, yes, i-if you want that?” He said with a questioning tone.
“Okay…” you said and trailed off.
“Is there something wrong with that?” He asked and you weren’t sure how to answer that.
“I just ummm…I don’t know if I can trust that you won’t get all…weird.” You said to him.
“That’s valid.”
“I mean we were friends before. Or at least I considered us t-to have a friendship to some extent and then you just…took that away.” You explained and he nodded with a frown as he heard you out.
“I think we were friends too.” He agreed, “I just have a hard time letting people in.”
“And now you don’t?” You asked.
“No, I certainly do but I…” he sighed and licked over his lips as he plopped down on the couch as he stared at the ceiling as he decided to just admit it, “I miss you.” He confessed and you bit your lip upon hearing his words. You hoped it would stop the butterflies that were starting to flutter about in your tummy but it wasn’t doing much. “Honestly Y/N, I don’t think I handled the relationship between us the right way and-”
“Can I come over right now?” You interrupted him.
“Ummm, y-yes. Sure.” He said nervously.
“I just think we ought to have this conversation in person.” You explained and he smiled a bit. God, you had to make it harder for him, didn’t you?
“You’re right.” He conceded. “I’ll send you the address right now.”
“Should I still bring a swim suit?” You asked, he could heard the smirk on your face and he chuckled. Your smiled widened at your successful attempt to lighten the mood.
“We can talk things out in the hot tub.” He joked.
“I’ll see you in a little bit.”
“Yeah, drive safe.” He said and you thanked him and hung up again.
You headed up to your room and grabbed a bathing suit, a simple, paisley print, two-piece and dropped it into your tote and then took off. You were nervous, not so much about what he would say but at the prospect of you leaving with any sense of false hope. Yeah, he missed you, but that didn’t really mean anything but that. You couldn’t or shouldn’t read into that in any way. When you were all in your head like this time just escaped you and soon enough you were pulling up to the gate and putting in the code he had texted you before you started heading up the driveway. You only waited a few moments at the door after ringing the doorbell before he opened it up. 
“Hi.” He said softly with a smile on his face and you smiled back.
“Hey.” You responded, you just looked at each other for a few moments before he chuckled and moved out of the way.
“Oh, come in. Please.” He said and allowed you to step inside. You looked around as he locked up. The home was very modern, an open concept type of thing and it had one of those sunken living rooms that were making a come back. 
“This is cool.” You complimented.
“Yeah, I like it a lot.” He said as he came up beside you and looked out at the space. “Ummm, can I get you something to drink? Or a snack if you’re hungry? I have…watermelon.” He said and you smiled.
“No thanks, I’m alright.” You assured him and he nodded and just looked over you for a few more moments. It made you feel all tingly so you cleared your throat and he looked down at the ground.
“Ummm so let’s just…we can sit over here and talk.” He said signaling towards the living room and you nodded and followed him down the small set of steps leading down to the couches. “Feel free to get comfy wherever.”
“Thanks.” You said as you headed towards one of the corners of the large sectional and slipped off your shoes before you nestled in, legs criss-crossed over each other as you pulled a pillow into your lap. Harry settled in near you, one of his legs tucked under him and the other hanging off of the couch. He looked a bit pensive, not entirely sure how or where to start and you were getting a little impatient.
“So you…missed me.” You said simply and he glanced into you eyes and nodded.
“Yeah, I have been for…a while.” He confirmed and you sighed.
“I have too…a little bit.” You admitted as you looked down into your lap and he smiled.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, we did spend a lot of time together so…”
“Yeah, true.” You sighed.
“So ummm, what I was saying before…” he started and you nodded, “I didn’t go about things the right way with you. I could’ve been…”
“Less of a dick?” You interjected and he smiled down at his lap, when he looked up at you, you were already smiling.
“I was going to say nicer about it but same thing, I guess.” He chuckled and you did as well. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and while my reasons for it were really valid, I think, it doesn’t mean that I handled it well and I…regret hurting your feelings. I’m sorry.” He said and you hummed.
“Thank you. I just…was -er still am a bit confused about that because, I mean, I told you that I’d never done something like this before and I don’t know…I guess I was just expecting you to be a little bit more understanding or even just compassionate with me about the whole thing, you know?” You explained and he nodded.
“I wish I had been. I really do.” He said with a small frown. “I can explain actually.” He said and you nodded, “And this is not an excuse at all, it’s just that, an explanation.” He added and you nodded again, “When I kissed you I…I realized how much I was starting to like you and it scared me.” He explained, “And it took me back to what I’d been through before and I didn’t want that again, not for me, but especially not for you.” He explained, “So I decided that I wasn’t going to allow my feelings for you to grow any more or go any further than that.” He said and your gaze on him softened, “And well, i-it worked well enough for a bit. It was easier when we were working to remind myself that it was for the best. And then we fought and you told me you didn’t like me anymore and I felt like shit but I was also glad because you deserved better than that.” He said with a frown. “But when we went our own ways it got worse…not worse, you know what I mean.” He said nervously, “I just thought about you all the time- er I have been thinking about you this whole time. Just wondering i-if you think about me too sometimes…I mean, I know that you don’t feel that way about me any more but-”
“I do.” You cut in and he looked surprised.
“After all of that?” He asked softly and you nodded.
“You more than made up for it on the press tour.” You assured him, “I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or upset you so I buried it all but I still like you. I mean, how could I not?” You chuckled and he smiled at you. “And I’m sorry for the way I said I didn’t, I wanted to make you upset.” You explained.
“Well it worked.” He chuckled and you smiled sadly. “I kind of deserved it though.” He said, “You didn’t ummm…see that guy again did you?” He asked and you smiled.
“I didn’t.” You confirmed and he smiled down at his lap.
“Good.” He mumbled lowly and you just smiled to yourself for a moment, “I really like you, Y/N.” He finally said as his gaze met your own. “And i-if you still like me too then maybe we can try and go an actual date.” He said with hope and you nodded.
“I’d like that.” You agreed and he smiled wider.
“Okay, that’s…that’s good to hear.” He chuckled nervously, “So tomorrow d-do you want to go out and do something with me? I’ve got something in mind.”
“Why not tonight?” You asked with a small pout and he chuckled.
“Because I’d like to make it at least a little bit nice.” He added and you smiled.
“Oh okay, then. That’s fine with me!” You giggled and he chuckled. “I brought my bathing suit so maybe we can go for a swim and have dinner instead, like we planned for tomorrow?”
“Yeah, sounds good.” He agreed easily and you both got changed and then got into the pool where you caught up on how the last few months had been treating you both so far. 
Then, you had dinner and watched a film and he reached for your hand while you guys watched. You’d held hands before but now you at least knew it was out of a desire to and not obligation it made the butterflies in your stomach swarm at ungodly rates. As the night wrapped up he walked you out to your car, like the sweet man you knew him to be but it was hard to leave. You guys lingered there, finding random little things to talk about to prevent saying goodbye.
“Thank you for hearing me out, by the way.” He said to you after another small moment of silence and you smiled up at him as you leaned on your car and smiled at him. “You didn’t have to after everything.”
“Of course. I’m really glad you reached out to me.” You assured him and he nodded and pulled you in for a hug for maybe the third time now and you nestled into him and sighed, “I really missed you too.” You hummed softly and he pulled back a little bit, enough to be able to look into your eyes again. Neither of you wanted to let go more than that.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Yes.” You said instantly, “Please.” You chuckled and he did as well as he angled up your face gently by your jaw until he was dipping down enough to smoosh his lips against yours. 
He was tentative, he didn’t want to kiss you too hard and hungrily for the first time since the time he’d mucked it up. He wanted you to feel how much he missed you and that despite his previous disrespects, that he in fact did respect you and your time and openness towards him. His fingers skimming along your jaw caused your skin to rise with goosebumps and for a delicious shiver to zing throughout your body. You wanted to lose your cool and just let things get fiery with the tension that simmered between you but he was being so patient himself that it staved off your desperation. You wanted to enjoy how soft and tender he was being right now. You liked how his feelings were emanating from him in intense waves and warming you from the inside out. Finally, he pulled away, it was painful and almost impossible to let him end the kiss.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” He whispered between the two of you and you nodded.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll pick you up around 7.” He informed and you nodded.
“Okay.” You whispered and he pulled you off to the side before opening your car door, “Thanks.”
“Of course.” He smiled and you bit your lip for a moment.
“One for the road?” You asked timidly and he grinned grabbed your face before pecking your lips once more.
“There you are. Now leave while I have the self-control to let you go.” He mumbled between you two and you laughed before settling into your seat and he closed the door behind you. You buckled up and got the engine on and he backed up, giving you room to get going and with a final wave you headed home. You weren’t driving fast at all but it felt like you were flying. You couldn’t stop smiling, even as you settled into bed and stared at the dark ceiling you were wearing a huge smile until you fell asleep.
***************
You’d been on edge all day wondering what it was that he would plan for you two. When you texted to ask what you should wear he said he was going for a semi-casual look, button down with a vest and trousers sort of thing so you decided on going for a similar vibe. You spent hours trying on a variety of combinations and in the end you settled on a black mini skirt with a creme colored, sleeveless knit top. You searched around for your chunky loafers and decided those paired best with the outfit as well. You had blown out your hair that morning so you got it into rollers and threw on a shower cap before you got in and exfoliated your body religiously. You knew your wax girl would kill you, but you ran a razor over your legs to get rid of the slightly prickly layer of hair growing in. You moisturized efficiently and then spritz yourself   with your current preferred fragrance, Brit for Her by Burberry. 
You had taken a fondness to the scent recently because it reminded you of him. Not that he even smelled like that but just vibe of it made you think of who he was. The prominent or top notes were sweet and fruity. They were bright and intriguing but not overpowering like some fruity perfumes could be. These blended so well with the warmer, darker base notes of  vanilla, amber, and mahogany. It created an alluring and irresistible blend of fragrances that seemed to perfectly encompass the feeling he gave you of comfort and warmth and excitement. You wanted it to linger and be memorable, the way he lingered and was memorable to you. Truly, you had no idea where this with him would go or if it would even work out, but you knew he was the kind of person who would leave a mark on you forever.
When you got his call that he was outside you grabbed you gave yourself one more spritz, grabbed your purse, and got into your shoes before hurrying out. He was waiting outside of the car for you, his smiled widened when you saw you going down the steps.
“You look lovely.” He complimented as you approached and you smiled timidly until you got up to him. 
“Thank you.” You hummed softly and he pulled you in for a hug and he froze for a second when you hugged him back.
“Fuck…you smell so good.” He hummed against you and you smirked victoriously as he squeezed around you a bit more. “Damn.” He mumbled as he dipped down to kiss right under your jaw and inhale the sweet scent. You giggled as his little bit of stubble lightly tickled your skin as he nuzzled closer.
“Stop that…” You laughed as he nipped at your skin.
“I can’t.” He huffed before kissing up to your lips and pecking over them a few times and pulling away with his lip bitten beneath his teeth.
“Please take me on a date.” You said softly and he smiled.
“Yeah alright.” He agreed with a grin and you giggled as he opened up the door for you. You greeted your driver and settled in as he hurried over to his side and soon enough you were on the road.
“So where are we going?” You asked as your fingers fiddled together and he smiled.
“You’ll see…” he said smugly and you chuckled. You both hummed along to the radio as you tried to figure out where it was you were heading but you seemed to be going in almost a circle as you started heading back towards where your house was. Then you guys turned down a street and you immediate recognized the area and saw the wine bar you guys had been to before just down the way.
“Are we going back to the wine bar?” You asked him and he immediately smiled as you started to slow down before it.
“I desperately need a do over.” He said to you and you smiled, “Things should’ve gone a lot differently than they did that night. So we’re doing it again, correctly this time.” He said with a smile as the car stopped at the valet station up front.
“You’re too sweet.” You said softly and he smiled. 
You were soon helped out of the car by the attendant as Harry met you on the sidewalk and you thanked the driver and valet before looping your arms together and heading inside. He gave his name to the young lady at the entrance and she kept her cool as she guided you on back to where you sat the last time you were there. Of course, people were looking but he didn’t seem to mind and soon you were tucked into the back of the bar, mostly covered from everyone’s curious gazes and just smiling at each other across the small table. You guys ordered your first glass and then got to playing Jenga; this one had questions pasted onto the sides of the blocks so you guys went through the tower, giving your responses and discussing these until you toppled it over. You couldn’t help it, your hands were shaky with nerves but also with excitement. He looked so handsome, it was almost painful not to look at him. Soon enough, two glasses turned to four, and you were both giggly and reminiscing your filming days fondly. He had been telling a story about a little mishap he had with one of the modesty garments for one of his scenes with another actress and you two were laughing so hard.
“Wait, wait, wait, I need to go to the bathroom so bad!” You laughed breathily and he chuckled as he let your hand go over the top of the table.
“Yeah, love you go on. Do you want me to order you another?” He asked and you nodded as you hopped down from the high stool.
“Please.” you confirmed as you came around. You were half expecting it when he pulled you in by the waist and nuzzled against your neck again.
  “You were too far away.” He hummed as he nipped under your jaw for a second as his big, warm palm nearly caressed down your bottom and you smiled.
“Behave.” You reprimanded playfully and he pulled back to meet your eyes.
“I am.” He assured you and you smiled. “Now go.”
“That requires letting me go.”
“I know…” he said and released you with some reluctance. He watched as you walked off, hips swaying hypnotically as you headed off. 
Yeah, you needed to use the bathroom but you also needed a break from the intensity of Harry’s gaze on you. It was intense before, but now that you knew he was also into you it felt overwhelming. This entire time he found a way to graze his fingertips against yours, to knock his foot into yours, to make you aware of the minimal space between the two of you as much as possible. As if you needed a reminder of how badly you wanted him in the first place. The more you drank the deeper his voice got and the more intense the tingles got when he spoke to you, you swore you felt the vibrations of his low drawn baritone at your core, rippling out to the rest of your body with each word. Lust didn’t begin to cover what you felt for him. Even as you sat there for a moment relieving yourself you could hear some other ladies in the bathroom talking about just how good he looked tonight and how demanding and intense his energy was. How it was practically impossible not to feel him in the space. When you opened up the stall door the girls talking about it froze and watched you for a second.
“You’re not wrong.” You said to them with a small smile and they looked relieved at how relaxed you were towards them. “Please don’t tell anyone that. I just needed to get it off my chest.” You chuckled bashfully as you washed your hands.
“No girl, your secret is safe with us.” One of them assured with a kind smile.
“You guys kissed in that movie a bunch of times, how are you still alive?” One of them asked and you chuckled.
“It was hard for sure…” you confirmed, “What was worse was how sweet he is…It makes it so hard not to take it to heart.” You explained and they hummed. 
“You look so cute by the way. Could we get a picture?” One of them asked and you smiled.
“Ummm sure!” You giggled and they hurried over. The first pic was a failure, you all laughed at your half closed eyes, “Sorry, I’m so fucking tipsy!” You giggled and on the third try you managed to keep your eyes open wide enough to appear normal.
“I wish we could get one with Harry too.” One of the girls said.
“Well, if you guys leave at the same time as we do I can try and talk him into it.” You offered and they gushed and thanked you and assured you they’d keep an eye out for this. 
They were so sweet to you, assuring you that you looked exquisite and giving you the confidence boost you really needed to flirt up a storm with Harry. He’d been so attentive and you’d been quite cool about it, but you were ready to reciprocate and show him just how much you wanted him too. When you made your way out of the bathroom it was with a new found confidence thanks to your bathroom besties. You were walking a little taller and with a little more sway as you headed back to your table. 
As you made it back to your secluded little section you saw that Harry had settled into the stool beside yours. He was initially looking at the drinks menu but then he glanced up and right into your eyes, almost as if he sensed you coming. When your eyes met you just about melted. You finally understood that famous and hunger-inducing line form Bridgerton - “I burn for you.” You were feeling it in real time. The energy between you two, the longing of his gaze and how it followed the curves of your body, taking you in from head to toe. You loved how you could see his restraint as you approached your table once again. You felt scrutinized but in a good way. You felt desirable, you felt like the perfect and delicate thing you’d always wanted to be in someone’s gaze. He made you feel like you were worth all the effort and more and you loved that. You knew you could be a little intense and rough around the edges at times but he clearly liked that. He found it amusing and endearing. He loved having something to fight for. He enjoyed proving to you why he was worth your time and effort.
“What?” you asked as you reached your seat and he shook his head.
“You’re just so fucking beautiful.” He hummed lowly as you settled into your seat. You smiled and then glanced up to him.
“Yeah? You think so?”
“I know so, love. Convincing myself otherwise was absolute torture.” He confessed and you bit your lip to suppress your smile and all of the feelings you had for him boiling inside of you. He shook his head and glanced down at his hands timidly. “Don’t do that…”
“Why not?” You pressed and he looked at you again.
“I don’t think I can handle it all.” He explained with a pained look in his eyes and you hummed softly. “You already smell so divine that I want to be close in enough to breathe you in. But you biting on your lip like that makes me want to bite it for you and suck it between my own. I know you’d taste so sweet because you like chewing that bubble mint gum.” He said to you lowly and you nodded almost dumbly as your gazes remained locked on each others.
“What if we call it a night a little early?” You asked him quietly and he smiled.
“Yeah?” He asked and you nodded and shivered when one of his hands landed on your thigh, right over your knee. 
“Text the driver.” You instructed and he nodded and pulled out his phone as you reached for your glass of wine. You chugged it down quickly as he texted the man, it was amusing to him how desperate you were to get out of there.
“D’you wanna stop for dumpli-”
“No.” You cut him off and he grinned before reaching for his own glass.
“I kind of don’t want to be anymore buzzed for you but-”
“It’ll feel nicer.” You said with a smile and he hummed.
“It would…” He agreed, his own smile ghosting along his lips.
“I’m still good though, are you?”
“Yeah, love.”
“Then, who cares?” You asked.
“You don’t mind?”
“Not at all.” You assured him.
“I want you so fucking bad. That’s what were talking about, right?” He asked and you nodded.
“Yeah.” You confirmed and he flashed you that charming, dimpled boyish grin that you’d missed so much.
“Okay. As long as you really don’t mind-”
“I don’t. I promise you. Just want to be alone with you.” You assured him and he hummed and finished his glass. “I ummm ran to some girls in the bathroom, they were so sweet to me, they were fans and I told them if they walked out behind us you could take a picture with them outside. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, love.” He assured and you smiled. Moments later the driver was informing you he was pulling up and you started to head out. The girls from the bathroom followed, as you instructed, and they got their photo before you guys slipped into the SUV smoothly and headed off into the night.
You were tingling with his hand running up and down your leg, his fingers danced along your skin. His nose was buried against your neck, kissing you up and down as he inhaled the sweet scent lingering on your skin and in your hair. He was whispering to you how much he missed you and how he wished he hadn’t wasted so much time in reaching out. His fingers were burning into your skin as he slid them up your thigh to a dangerous degree until you gripped around his wrist and smirked at him knowingly. 
“What?” He whispered huskily, his eyes already dark and hazy with need.
“You know what…” you hummed lowly and he grinned.
“Sorry, I am trying to behave.” He assured you and then planted a kiss on your temple and lowered his hand to above your knee again. As much as you were asking him to stop, a part of you enjoyed how he pushed the limits a little bit. He clearly was dying to touch you and you were absolutely touch starved. Even just having him rubbing over your knee was causing your skin to rise with goosebumps. You couldn’t arrive at your place any sooner.
When you were finally heading up your driveway you were about ready to burst at the seems. You could feel how wet you were for him, it was even dripping down between your cheeks and you knew he’d love to discover that on his own so you kept it to yourself. Once you got out of the car and thanked the driver, he took off and you keyed your way into your home. As soon as the door closed behind you he pressed you up against it and locked eyes with you.
“This is where I need the do over.” He mumbled, lips tickling your own.
“Tell me more…” You whispered and he smiled and gabbed your jaw with his right hand while he grabbed your hip with his left and he leaned in and kissed you quickly, like he had that first time and his eyes met yours with a fake apologetic look in them, it was amusing really.
“Shit.” He whispered between you two; just like he had the first time, “That was a mistake.” He hummed as he looked into your eyes and you smiled as you decided to play along and role play it with him.
“Then why did you do it?” You asked and he bit his lip, nose skimming your nose with his again.
“I can’t help it. I like you. I like you so fucking much, Y/N.” He confessed softly.
“Then do it again. Like you mean it this time.” You requested. Before you knew it he grabbed your face and kissed your deeply. The hunger of it was making you weak in the knees. Your tongues tangled as you guided his hands down your waist, hips, and finally to the bottom of your skirt.
“Yeah? Can I?”
“Please.” You insisted and he slid them up under the fabric to feel your underwear-covered butt. He kneaded your cheeks in his big, warm palms, squeezing the fleshy bits fervently and feeling you up, pressing you up against his growing erection.
“I want you. I want you so fucking bad.” He breathed into your mouth.
“Me too.” You panted as you looped your arms around his neck, “Should we go up to my room?”
“Are you sure?” He asked once more through his ragged breaths. You kissed his slowly and nodded into it.
“I’m so fucking sure.” You confirmed breathlessly and he kissed you deeply again before you guided him up the stairs and into your bedroom. You threw the door back and you two immediately started undressing.
You didn’t care to make it all that romantic, especially with how tipsy you both were, you guys just wanted to feel each other. So as soon as you were naked you guys fell into your bed and he kissed from your lips down your body. He didn’t waste an opportunity to inhale your perfume before sinking down to your breasts and sucking at your needy nipples while his fingers rubbed precise little circles into your throbbing little clit with no preamble. You were grateful he got straight to it because you were desperate for any stimulation.
“You’re so fucking wet f’me, baby.” He hummed before nipping at your sensitive nipple once more and you whimpered, “Is that how bad you want me?” He asked.
“Yes! Yes, I want you so bad!” You whined as he pulled and sucked at your breasts with more force. You winced and whined as he sucked marks into the tender flesh of them to his satisfaction and your own. Before long you started to feel that familiar warmth swirling in the put of your stomach from his fingers on your clit. “Yeah H, just like that!” You cried into the air as he swirled around the sensitive little button over and over until your vision started to blur with your approaching orgasm. 
His lips kissed down your abdomen and finally he ended up between your legs and licked at you expertly and you mewled in satisfaction. His tongue replaced his fingers and flicked at your needy little bud while one of his fingers plunged into the depths of you, searching around for your spot. When your legs startled to tremble around his head, attempting to lock him in place  he knew you were close. And just seconds later he pulled an orgasm from you with ease and snuck in another finger in, this caused you to gasp and tense up before you just melted into your bed. He was just hitting the perfect spot with his fingertips, rubbing into a part of you that was making your pussy flutter in a way it never had before and you felt another orgasm unexpectedly building up.
“Yes! Yes, baby! I-I’m coming!” You gasped and he moaned into your pussy as he tarted to suck on your clit and you began to whither around his thick, lock digits. You were covered in goosebumps as the pleasure started to roll through your body in wonderfully timed waves that allowed you to enjoy his persistent stimulation into your greedy little cunt. Even this wasn’t enough. You were trembling but begging for more. “Please, I need you. I need more.” You panted in your impaired state.
“Don’t have a condom, love.” He chuckled against your smooth and sticky folds.
“Just pull out.” You panted as you raked your fingers into his hair and he groaned against you.
“Don’t tempt me, baby.” He chuckled and you bit your lip and tugged him up by the hair until his eyes met yours.
“I’m serious.” You assured him as you swallowed thickly, “Please baby, need you to fuck me. Need you to fuck me so good I forget everything except you.” You panted and he licked over his lips with a near pained expression.
“ Baby-”
“Please, H. Please, give it t’me. Want you so badly, it hurts, that’s how bad I need you.” You begged and he groaned as he caved to your request with a deep and sloppy kiss. You knew he was painfully hard as well. As much as you wanted a taste of him, you’d much rather feel his big, thick cock spreading you open and splitting you apart.
“Y’sure?” He panted as he hovered above you.
“I’m so sure, baby. So sure.” You assured him as he glanced up at you and before you knew it he was kneeling over you as you helped him out of his boxer-briefs, wrapping his thick length in your palm the moment it fell out of its constraint.
“Shit, a little tighter.” He mumbled and you tightened your grip around him and stroked him over and over, up and down, keeping him at full mast. “That’s it. Jus’like that.” He sighed in relief. You could feel the sticky texture of his precome when you’d reach the tip and drag it down his length. After a few moment of this he lowered his hips and settled against your hot and drenched folds, immediately the wet squelching sounds of him sliding through your labia became the most prominent sound between you two. “So fucking wet f’me. Shit, you want my cock so bad, don’t you?” He panted and you nodded and whined, “Say it. Say you want my cock in that pretty little pussy and I’ll fuck you with it. Stretch open that tight little hole, make it all mine.” He breathed into the minimal space between you two.
“Please, H.” You panted, “I need your cock. Need to feel you spreading my tight little hole open.” You pleaded, tearful eyes meeting his and he groaned and leaned down, squeezing  his eyes shut as he kissed you for a few seconds before he guided himself down to your entrance and fed the tip into your weepy little hold. “Oh fuck!” You gasped softly as he started to push in and he moaned as he felt you start to stretch around him.
“You can take it. I know you can, baby.” He panted as his eyes met your wide eyes again. You nodded in confirmation for him to keep going and he pushed in further, splitting you open until your eyes just fluttered shut until he was bottoming out and sheathed fully in the warmth of your wet and velvety walls.
You swore his tip was poking into your stomach from how deep he was. You’d never felt so full before, you were paralyzed for a few moments. He was big and thick, you swore it wiped out part of your brain when he started to grind into you. The thick, ruddy tip of his cock was prodding into your g-spot, causing your mind to blank and for your body to shiver with an abundance of pleasure. You were getting more drunk on his dick and even the way he was grinning down at you as you let out the most obscene moans was feeding your pleasure.
“Shit, you take it so well…fuck, love to see that tight little hole stretching wide around my cock, baby. Y’feel so fucking good…so fucking tight and wet f’me.” He groaned as he thrusted in and out, watching your little hole puckering around his thick cock. He moaned every time he pulled back, watching your creamy arousal streaking down his shaft with each deep plunge into your needy little pussy. He moaned and spat against your folds before rubbing his thumb into your clit and you shuddered.
“Yes, baby! That’s it!” You mewled as you grabbed your breasts, pinching at your nipples, helping him draw you up the edge of your orgasm. Harry was panting, feeling his balls thwacking against your ass had his mind going fuzzy with excitement. 
“Fuck…fuuuuck, you’re gonna make me come so fucking hard!” He chuckled breathily, head thrown back as he delivered sharp and powerful thrusts into you, over and over, living for the feeling of his tip colliding into the depths of you.
“Oh fuck…fuck! I’m…ohmygodI’mcoming!” You slurred and he smiled as you started to whither beautifully. Your back arched up, nipples pointed straight towards the ceiling as you trembled and soaked his cock with a soft squirt from how deep he was getting. Your ears were ringing and you were seeing white behind your closed eyelids but he wasn’t letting up until you got through the whole thing. You could hear him moaning and struggling to keep it together as he thrust in and out of you. Your walls pulsed around his cock hard and fast with your slick coated all over his thick length, causing him to lose some control over his movements. You were covered in goosebumps, shivering as you continued to come hard around him.
“Shit, baby! Shit!” He gasped as he started thrusting erratically, losing the steady rhythm he had maintained until now.
“Come for me, H. Come for me, baby.” You encouraged him and he pulled out quickly and you wrapped your hand around his length and he thrust into your perfectly tight grip a few times until his breath hitched and he groaned when you felt the first spurt of his hot, milky cum right over your pubic bone. He moaned lowly as he started to unload all over your already sticky pussy. You guided him between your swollen and sensitive folds, letting him thrust against you as he spilled all over your swollen pussy with his cum. His body was trembling as you rubbed at his bicep until he minimized the space between you and caught your lips with his. “Mmm…fuck…” he hummed and you smiled
“Good?”
“So fucking good.” He panted breathily and you pecked his lips quickly. “Was it good for you?” He asked and you nodded.
“Yeah, H. More than.” You assured and he smiled before kissing you again.
“Good, love.” He whispered before resting his weight on one elbow before kissing you deep and slow. He took his time tasting you properly and only pulled away when you both needed to breathe, “Jut as things should’ve been from the start.” He hummed and you kissed his lips quickly.
“We’re here now, yeah?” You asked quietly and he smiled and nodded.
“Yeah.” He hummed, “So, does this mean we can give us a real chance?” He asked as his fingers found yours and you nodded and smiled as he bought your hand up to his mouth and kissed it.
“I’d love that, Harry.” You assured him and he smiled brightly at you.
“Thank you for giving me another chance after the stunt I pulled before.” He said more seriously.
“I like you too much not to.” You said with a small smile and he smiled and kissed you once more. 
“Well I assure you, there’s far more making up I plan on doing…” He smirked and you bit your lip excitedly, “Just you wait.”
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hsgucci94 · 2 years
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Untitled #1
A/N: a little something I wrote some time ago on my old acc @styleswriteshere, which I can’t log into anymore :’) x
masterlist
———
"Harry, you need to calm down", Jeff told him, pushing at his chest harshly.
"Fucking move", he angrily spat, willing to push through anything to get to her. He wanted to see her. Hell, he had to see her. He was not going to leave until he could talk to her and make sure that she was okay.
Although he knew that’d take more than just showing up.
He clenched his fists, a movement that made him shiver in pain. They still hurt. So much he could feel his knuckles break every time he tried to move them. He even had a hard time driving all the way there, but nothing could keep him at home knowing the state she was in, knowing that she was probably laying in bed, buried under her duvet, eyes puffy and red.
He moved past Jeff and made his way through her apartment. He knew exactly where to go. He ran upstairs and turned left, like he had done uncountable times before, but when he reached her bedroom door and found it locked, he cursed under his breath repeatedly. He pounded it, desperate to get in.
"Y/N,” he called her, his voice breaking, "Y/N, baby, open up, please."
She did not answer.
Standing on the other end of the door he felt hopeless, he couldn't do anything, just hear her sobs and whimpers. He ran his fingers through his hair furiously and kicked the door. He could still hear her crying, which only made him feel worse, but he wasn’t going anywhere. There was no way he was leaving her alone. There was no chance he was going to let her shut him down again.
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muffindaddystyles · 2 years
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Y/N is jealous of Harry’s new date, and the realisation took years to rain down upon her and Harry.
warning: sad jealous angst, mentions of fever, screaming and crying, heartbreak inspired from Taylor Swifts “All too Well”.
..
The dewy glow of Luna melts into her skin, twirls into tight notches upon her heart ever radiant than the beat of the small organ stitched into her chest as she watches the shadow of two figures dancing in the big window of Harry’s house. She reminisces the times they’d do the karaoke nights in their silly loose pyjamas and jam around his house like wild geese in the middle of night; he’d stuff his nose with popcorns to entertain her and had the goofiest smile etched across that clean beautiful face of his upon dragging out a laughter from his bestfriend.
His bestfriend. His ride or die. His cuddle stuffie. His partner in crime. His proud person. His soulmate. His Y/N.
Harry’s a firm believer of, “Your soulmate could be anyone. It doesn’t have to be your significant other always. For me it’s you Soapie.” He told Y/N when they were 19. On the rooftop of his mother’s house when they smoked a joint for the first time in their life. The clank of hollow bright red bricks was all it was heard as Y/N was about to trip from the slope of roof from the surprise itself and had their asses busted. Anne grounded both of them in one house which meant more of a disaster than anything else.
Her chapped lips whisks up into a smile as her glazed upon eyes reflects with the ghost of memories walking near her with every second of music getting louder and their giggles getting merrier.
It was that call. On her yellow coloured telephone. Wednesday, 12 A.M. End of the June. The violet swirl of clouds danced chaotically in the sky.
“Y/N what’s your favourite place to go out on a date to?” He asked, “What? Why? Our usual, why?” Her confused sleepy voice alerting her brain about the fishy-ness of the moment.
“Do you prefer me in suits or comfy clothes?” That made her stomach all squirmy. Tickles of an emotion unknown to her made her all giggly and shy. a school girl getting asked out on a date to her favourite Arcadian by her hot-shot crush.
“Comfy…, now tell me what’s it?” She all but smiles bashfully taking quaint deep breathers to prep herself for what’s about to come next.
She could hear his grin from the other side of phone, her supple fingertips scratching the yellow plastic cord of the phone in anticipation and her bottom rosy lip bounces from matching his grin.
“It’s a date–“ He sputters out and she cuts him off excitedly in true Y/N fashion,, “You’re asking me out on a date!?“
Those were never dates. They used to hangout for hours and hours more like practically living with each other and never without each-other but not dates.
You can call it whatever friends want to call it.
“Oi. I took you out on enough dates. This’s with the girl Florence introduced me to––“ She cut him off again, “…but you never told those were dates…” Sad pout pillowing atop her mouth, her brows meeting in a bewildered frown and her grip around the nip of her sleeping maxi looses from where she was holding it atop her thigh out of sheer excitement.
“Is she prettier than me?” Her eyelashes wets. How pathetic of her. She thought. From where these feelings of eerie jealousy and envy’s coming from? He has dated many girls before, but why now? Was it because he asked for her opinion that she figured it out he’s serious about whoever this person is? Or was that she’s entirely so in love and now raw to her feelings than before?
She can’t explain it at all.
Harsh slam of plastic against plastic echoed into her room as she put the end to the call and the concerned, “Y/N are you okay muffin?” rusted between the poor connection was all she heard in his caramelised soothing voice.
Today after two days of that heartbreaking call. Y/N walked to his house to show him that him going out with other people doesn’t effect her, she’ll be the same Y/N for him she was previously .
If it couldn’t be more painstaking before it’s now as she watched them in his house. Her hands shakes holding a container of glazed warm cinnamon rolls Harry loves to eat and her feeble cry weaves away along with the cold gust of wind as the first droplet of summer rain falls and dribbles down her neck making her numb to any kind of feeling rather than getting out squeasy airy laughs out of her.
The rain pours down at her infuriatingly, humming down the loud shaking sobs that suffocated her chest making her feel like a small cricket being drowned into a muddy splash while it’s in search of its home. The container of cinnamon rolls falls at Harry’s doorstep. the music halts to nothingness as the thunder roared against his windows and Y/N squeaks running back in the heavy rain from where she came from.
..
When Harry opens the door. His chest echoes with a sharp sound of a m drag, that of a knife stabbed in between two ripples of his rib-bones. A fallen container never seemed more sad than a fallen star and he looks over his shoulder to see the girl sleeping on his couch, a red scarf that of Y/N wrapped around her neck and a rush of guilt oozes in every of his pore. The urge to ask for it back politely surges inside him and the realisation settles deep inside the pit of his stomach.
He needs to see, Y/N.
..
On the other hand Y/N’s sneezing like a weasel train. High on fever as she caught cold. Trying to make a soup with a broken heart. The heart shaped note of a how to make a berry cake scribbled in Harry’s writing makes her paralysed in her spot, eyes wide awake with pools of sadness in them and the round plate in her hold falls and shatters against the floor as if the moon got split into two halves revealing a sky that of blankness.
His sweet disposition. His sweet care. His heart always making a home for her. All gone leaving Y/N alone.
She never thought she’d be here at 3 A.M curled into a ball feeling small on her kitchens yellow floor and the recall of memories eating her whole.
Clothes still soggy. Hair sticking to her neck. Body stinging against the coolness of tiles as she stares the the slight of refrigerator finding the blue light horrible and vexing to her core.
She screams. Shrieks practically like a sour bratty kid with her aching throat only to gasp into quit when her flats door clicks shut, accompanied by a worried booming voice of him.
“Y/N!? Soapie??” He rushes to her. On his knees in just seconds infront of her and his intestines pulls into itself when he sees the paleness on her, the dead glimpse of her eyes.
“Y/N – are you okay? I’m askin’ you–“ He bends over her to meet her stoic gaze, slithering his strong arm under her neck to sit her up and curses out loud in vexation when he finds her burning, “Fo’ fucks sake are you fuckin’ mad?” He scolds her, gasping in surprise when his knuckles brushes up her cold soggy dress.
His jaw falls apart. Arms in air. When her clothes made a smacking noise against his fully dried ones. Her elbows nurses around his throat as she pulls him down into herself, her cries fusing behind the sweet spot of his ear.
“Hey baby. Shhhh it’s okay yeah…?” He croons. Petting her wet hair lovingly and soothingly. Scooting her caringly into his lap and hugs her back, ever so tightly and warmly. No space for even a string to let through.
“I love you Harry. I’m so sorry. I love you.” In that moment every ounce of air sucks out of his lungs and all that’s left is the jelly softness of affection for his Soapie.
“S’okie if you don’t love me back– but b–…” She hiccups gasping a saccharine yelp as a red scarf muffles around her shoulders and she’s pulled close to his face where he could admire her as much as he wants.
“Couldn't you have said it before you silly?” He giggles. His thumb caressing her bottom swelled up lip and he doesn’t leave her to answer, levelling her head high that of his Queen and flowers his mouth against hers in an endearing kiss full of love.
“Oh me Soapie. You dunno how much I prayed to ‘ave you as my soulmate forever.” He confesses into the kiss and that just makes Y/N cry more.
There’s still so much to unfold. So many feelings, hurt, love and buried emotions of years but one thing’s sure that;
The pretty spotted Luna is evident of their loving confessions.
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livingbreathingdreams · 7 months
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Anxious!Reader Fics 🐰
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• HARRY STYLES • JOEL MILLER •
🌶 Spicy, consume at your own risk ⎮ 🌸 Slow burn [because I’m a sucker for endless buildup] ⎮ ⚪️ Friends to lovers ⎮ 🧡 Personal favorite
//
Harry Styles
❤︎ Intimacy @goldengalore Y/N hasn't been intimate with someone in a long time 🌶
more Anxious!Reader by goldengalore
//
Joel Miller
❤︎ Honeyed @softlyspector Tattoo Artist!Joel AU Multi Chapter 🌸⚪️🧡
You hate being touched, but you might be willing to put aside your discomfort for a tattoo from Joel.
❤︎ Body of Water @lambsigh body hair insecurity, soft!Joel
❤︎ skinny dipping with Joel @swiftispunk shy/innocent reader
❤︎ give in @cupofjoel Joel shows you how to love yourself 🌶
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