#anghraine whines

[anghraine]

me to every social media platform: no, I don't like your suggestions. no, I don't want more of them. never suggest anything to me again

#anghraine babbles #anghraine whines

[tar-elestirne]

I love this game, but wtf is that pirate disguise that I have to switch to???

#there are pirates going around in kickass coats and i get the barely-a-corset?? #ugh #anghraine whines #/ #// #/// #//// #///// #anghraine's gaming #guild wars 2

[brynnmclean]

@anghraine asked: I'm going to be super selfish and ask for 11 for the birthday fic?

11: What do you like best about this fic?

NOT SELFISH. Thank you for asking about this one! <3

What I love about this little thing is 1) pliant!Cassia / Cassian Andor being a sub in all of the multiverse, 2) the idea of Cassia hoarding memories and then suddenly looking at all of them like evidence and realizing: oh shit I love her, 3) JYN PINNING CASSIA DOWN AND PUTTING HER MOUTH ON CASSIA'S NECK

listen, LISTEN--

/crosses legs and whines

[ask me fic writer questions!]

#anghraine #replies #cassia andor #relatable #fic writer questions #i can't even remember what my tags were for this fic #to write list #sub!cassian #the queer rogue one fic

[anghraine]

It's a trivial annoyance, but I've just spent an hour dealing with my computer because Microsoft disguised their OneDrive nonsense as the real My Documents/My Pictures/etc folders. Then, of course, it was like "you've used up your whole 5 GB, RED ALERT" when I had hundreds of GB free on the computer. So I had to track down the weirdly hidden actual document folders, move everything into them, unsync OneDrive, pin the real folders to my sidebar, blah blah blah.

Maybe there's some other reason that a more computer-minded person would know, but tbh it seems like a pretty obvious trick to get people to panic and buy more cloud storage, and very shitty.

#now to see how i excise it out of file explorer completely #anghraine babbles #anghraine whines

[anghraine]

Ugh, my family made a very sudden decision to go see our ultra-conservative extended relatives and I agreed to go as moral support for my mother. I will be supportive when we meet up, but right now I'm just ... /sigh.

#anghraine babbles #anghraine whines

[anghraine]

I reluctantly use Facebook because a lot of people I know from grad school + relatives I want to stay in contact with are on there, but I hate its algorithm more than most.

It's hard to even see what my friends/relatives are saying because random shit is constantly being thrown in my feed. Even when it's vaguely relevant to my interests ("DID YOU KNOW Darcy smiles pretty often in the book???? shocking but true!") there's something so irritating about having it constantly shoved at me, usually in the most shallow clickbait-y way. Blech.

#anghraine babbles #anghraine whines #facebook hate blog

[anghraine]

I want to write a relatively short fic, but every idea I have is either large-scale from the beginning or becomes large-scale over time. I want something I can actually write and finish in a reasonable amount of time but my brain is always "noooo it's novella time." Argh.

#like i was reading an old post where i was rambling about how cool f!rytlock+f!logan would be and thought about that #it'd be nice if it weren't also extremely niche #but like. 3 people would be interested in that #anghraine babbles #anghraine whines #fic talk

[anghraine]

I am never more Old Man Yelling At Cloud than about TikTok tbh

I know this isn't special, but I'm just like ... I don't like the format, I don't get the appeal 98% of the time, the social dynamics creep me out, I think the posts about how its problems are equivalent to Tumblr's problems sound like they're coming from Earth 2, and when I hear the distant echoes of the kind of discourse going on at TikTok, it's like ... why am I even hearing about this. I'm living under a rock on Tumblr dot com for a reason

Best friend who is literally 11 days younger than me: when we write our project, we should probably figure out a way to make some kind of TikTok for it

me: ..............

#i've 'heard' multiple conversations on what the bg3 discourse on tiktok looks like and i truly deeply do not wish to know more #in fact i wish to know less #anghraine babbles #general fanwank #i'm not sure i have an appropriate tag for this lol #anghraine whines #elder millennial blogging

[anghraine]

I'm writing about my theoretical perspective in the diss, and unfortunately I can't simply say, "literature ultimately matters because of its impact on actual people, which is very real—but also, people aren't brainless sponges who uncritically absorb anything and everything they read in predictable ways, and many perspectives seem to assume they are."

#i also can't say 'just go read richard strier.' rude tbh #anghraine babbles #ivory tower blogging #anghraine whines #literary theory unfortunately #i chose to specialize in three time periods instead of 2+a theory but i still have to do as much theoretical apparatus blahblah as everyone #*everyone else #understandable but deeply annoying

[anghraine]

I know this isn’t just an autism problem, but for me specifically it is very much an autism problem:

I can present as fairly functional in person, and I put a lot of effort into doing so whenever I venture out Into The World, so people who aren’t close to me generally don’t realize I’m autistic. I’ve got people close to me who are like, you don’t need to do that, it puts a lot of strain on you (true), it worsens your anxiety and depression (true), and your autism is so mild, it’s not like anything you do is that big of a deal, anyway. But these same people will very obviously shut me down or redirect me if I start monologuing about one of my fixations, they make a point of looking me in the eye even though they know I hate eye contact, it took years for them to accept that I’ll never drive, that there’s no special math trick that will make calculating tips anything but a slow ordeal, they pressure me into situations that are sensory hellscapes, etc.

It just feels very weird to be pushed into concealing or downplaying the symptoms of my autism while simultaneously being told that those things are nbd, really. I should just be true to myself and accept being kind of quirky, but not in a way they find tedious or inconvenient. It’s ... very tiring.

#anghraine rants #anghraine whines #rare breed of attack unicorn #/ #// #/// #//// #///// #a #b #c #d #e #autism #and such

[anghraine]

I had the sense not to do much with P&P in my dissertation, and actively decided against getting further into Tolkien studies for the same reason that I'm avoiding P&P. Some things are too dearly beloved for me to feel at all professional about them, plus academic tendencies surrounding them quickly become annoying, and my interests in those things tend to be fairly narrow and repetitive, anyway (oh hey, it's my good friend autism here to stay!).

But I did not have the sense to avoid my favorite early modern play and instead made it a major focus point of one of my chapters, whoops. And I feel pretty similarly about it, so every time some asshole with two brain cells to rub together SLIGHTS my beloved Annabella a critic has a perspective on it that I find rather short-sighted, I kind of feel like stealing all their copies and hissing if they try to take them back.

#but seriously has any play attracted so many bad takes as 'tis pity #anghraine babbles #anghraine whines #ivory tower blogging #rare breed of attack unicorn

[anghraine]

I'm summarizing my entire dissertation in 1/3 of a page for a fellowship application ... RIP.

#*crosses fingers* #anghraine babbles #ivory tower blogging #anghraine whines

[anghraine]

My advisor said my literary reading of my texts is fantastic (!!!) and I do agree with the criticisms he has ... like, he says my research is fundamentally interdisciplinary (it is) and would benefit + bring benefits to other scholars from integrating wider theoretical and contextual discussion than the purely literary (probably true) and some of the discussions could be further expanded (definitely true!).

But lol, I've reached the point of grad school where I'm emotionally sitting in a corner banging pots and pans and screaming "I DON'T WANNA!!!"

#anghraine babbles #anghraine whines #ivory tower blogging

[anghraine]

It feels silly that I'm dragging myself through university work by reminding myself that it means I can get Dreamwidth icons for my writing account, but ... whatever works, I guess.

#anghraine babbles #dreamwidth #deep blogging #ivory tower blogging #anghraine whines

[anghraine]

There's nothing to make me feel a burst of solidarity with Tolkien like someone reading one of my stories and going "well, what's the allegory here?"

#anghraine babbles #anghraine whines #original fic rambles #legendarium blogging

[anghraine]

me, opening my university email: oh god four emails. what's gone horribly awry—

me: *squints* oh, that one's just a mass email from the university. and that one. and that one. and that one.

me: ...........okay, I guess!!

#anghraine babbles #anghraine whines #ivory tower blogging #the dread i feel at opening that account overwhelms the power of words to describe