#and yes i know thats supermans name
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all da ladies love leo valdez ! leo x daughter of poseidon!reader
｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ in which, leo has a crush on yet another girl that’s beyond his league, percy’s sister … and his friends flame him for not being able to confess his feelings!
— this is set in like… university ?? obviously jason doesn’t die…hope u enjoy my first ever fic on here!! might be ooc, soz🫐 also jeyna is a thing…. sorry not sorry!! 🤓😂 (it’s actually not even relevant to this story, but i thought i’d let u know…)
IMSG, “THE LOST HOES 🫤” July 4th, 2024
beauty queen
do yall ever wonder how it’s impossible to not pull hoes
like it sounds like a real SKILL issue
superman
who are you talking about, pipes?
beauty queen
who do u think I’m talking about???
the only mfo who doesn’t have a gf???
do NOT play dumb jason grace
latino elf
oh wow
talking shit in the gc is crazzyyy
superman
i wasn’t!
she was.
beauty queen
do not make me pull up our private messages
latino elf
i see how it is…..
😔 it’s always the bitches u think u can trust…
superman
ok
beauty queen
why is he the driest man alive
this why we didn’t last ong😭
latino elf
or maybe because ur lebanese ???
superman
she’s cherokee huh
wait is that supposed to say lesbian?
latino elf
isn’t that what it says…
beauty queen
💀💀
ok… anyway can we talk about the fact that leo has
been madly in love with y/n since like… forever???
latino elf
no thanks
didn’t ask
not true
lying on my name
superman
yeah yeah whatever helps you sleep at night
beauty queen
he’s down bad shhh
latino elf
OHHH GODDD 😭😭😔😔😔
ok so what if i like her shes so fine
and so nice and sooo mermaid 🧜♀️
beauty queen
she is very fine and very nice
and yes she’s very mermaid
superman
we all know he isn’t going to say
anything to her, though, right??
latino elf
hahaha 😂 wdym 😂
i’d tell her if percy weren’t her brother
superman
that didn’t stop you from trying to
flirt with MY sister though???????
latino elf
yeah that’s different tho
she COULDNT go out with me
beauty queen
not like she wanted to anyway
latino elf
gtfo
anyway i don’t plan on telling her that
i have any slight interest in her! 😎
superman
you should though
bet she likes you too
beauty queen
don’t feed into his delusions
superman
gosh pipes, pipe it down a notch
latino elf
fr listen to my bro ‼️
how would i even tell her dawggg
WHAT IF she rejects me 🤨 BOOM FRIENDSHIP GONE
superman
yeah i guess so
but yolo ???
latino elf
yolo my ass bro😒
superman
ok sorry for trying to help
beauty queen
this why she dont want u
latino elf
yeah nd thats why yo relationship was a LIE 🤣
superman
😐
beauty queen
🖕🏼
latino elf
lol ur mad
ok bye u guys are a snooze fest 😴
beauty queen
go talk to ur gf
latino elf
i will, beauty queen 🫡
IMSG, “Y/N 🦈” July 4th, 2024
leo 🛠️
hey hey mermaid
y/n 🦈
hi leo !
whats up :)
leo 🛠️
the sky duh
nothing much tho, just chilling in my dorm
u should totally pull up
y/n 🦈
we’ll see 🧐
i’m in the library rn
leo 🛠️
nerd alert ‼️
y/n 🦈
ok but when u fail our exams dont come crying
leo 🛠️
if it were math/science i would be resting peacefully
but no fr i did study, trust 🙏🏼
y/n 🦈
not that u needed it though
you’re smart enough
leo 🛠️
wowie thanks mermaid
da ladies wish they had my smarts
y/n 🦈
🤨🤨
leo 🛠️
sorry that came out SO wrong 😭
y/n 🦈
ok ok well pull up to the library
perhaps i need ur smarts
leo 🛠️
si señora
will be there in a few 😎
shark_girl • 2h
send message ♡ ➣
pipermstealer replied to your story
omg he wants uuu 😳😳🤣😂
shark_girl
why are u insane
😅😅😅
pipermstealer
i am not insane he wants u
what boy willingly wants to study w a girl
shark_girl
one that’s my friend???
pipermstealer
friend my ass bro
he wanna kiss u so bad…
matching usernames??? THE MAAAN WANTS UU 😭
shark_girl
be fr we’ve had them since we were
like fifteen 🙄🙄
pipermstealer
bro get out I’m actually DONE
u have to wake up queen 😭🙏🏼
IMESSAGE, PIPER & JASON July 5th, 2024
pipes 🌸
i am so SO DONE with yn
jason ⚡️
why
pipes 🌸
bc she’s convinced that leo don’t want her
jason ⚡️
i think its very obvious
do you think yn wants leo thats the real question
pipes 🌸
ABSOLUTELY ?????
she has extreme heart eyes for him
but she’s better at hiding it
jason ⚡️
wait are you being serious
NO WAY
NO WAY??
a girl out of his league actually wants him 🤨
piper 🌸
wait I thought u knew???
jason ⚡️
uhm no
she must be good at hiding it
piper 🌸
or boys are just dense
jason ⚡️
ok well…….
we have to get them together
cause I’m so tired of hearing leo ramble abt her
piper 🌸
ok well i’m tired of yn too
how do we get them together
jason ⚡️
uh I don’t know?????
now why would you think I know
aren’t YOU the daughter of aphrodite
maybe YOU should know 😒
pipes 🌸
someone’s mad
but i don’t know?
one of them has to say something eventually….
jason ⚡️
no way, leo would never… not too sure about yn though.
leo cares too much about their friendship
and he is convinced she only sees him as a friend
and he’s deathly afraid to ruin their friendship
pipes 🌸
why do we have dumb friends
why can’t THEY SEEEE
jason ⚡️
yeah it’s very annoying
man, maybe we shouldn’t interfere?
let them figure it out themselves
pipes 🌸
unless u want leo to date the first girl
who gives him the opportunity to date her,
i think we SHOULD interfere! not a lot just a tiny bit 🤏🏼
jason ⚡️
well i guess you have a point… but how?
pipes 🌸
OK hear me out fr
u share a dorm with leo, yeah?
he always leaves his phone unattended
go into twt and make sure he isnt logged into his private account
jason ⚡️
where is this headed
pipes 🌸
ok shut up
OK but make sure hes on the main
since he always talks about her on his priv
so if yn sees a tweet about her then
SHES GOTTA KNOW
jason ⚡️
FIRST OF ALL thats an invasion of privacy
SECOND OF ALL what if she doesn’t see it before
leo realizes that wasn’t tweeted on his private account
pipes 🌸
no she like stalks his twitter so she’ll see!
and uhm so what if it’s an invasion of privacy
he’ll thank us once he gets the girl of his dreams 🙄
jason ⚡️
ok then….
i’ll do it
but if this backfires i was not apart of it
pipes 🌸
yeah yeah whatever
i’ll take the blame
FIVE DAYS LATER, TWITTER!
IMSG, “THE LOST HOES 🫤” July 10th, 2024
latino elf
HOLY SHIT
HOLY SHIT
IM JUMPING OFF THE NEAREST CLIFF
it was so nice knowing u two
superman
don’t kys ur so sexy haha
what happened though
latino elf
i accidentally tweeted something
about yn.
on my main.
superman
hey man, maybe she didn’t see?
beauty queen
yeah she probably didn’t
latino elf
yeah u guys are RIGHT 😅
she DIDN’T SEE IT!!!
beauty queen
mhm
latino elf
you’re being oddly quiet…
beauty queen
sorry????? IM BUSY
latino elf
yeah huh
superman
you’re crazy
latino elf
oh my god i’m gonna throw up
my friend ship is over with her
she messaged meEEE
HELPPPP
superman
MESSAGE HER BACK???
GO GO GO GOOO BRO
latino elf
no i’m leaving her on delivered
beauty queen
i swear to gods if u don’t message her
jason and i WILL jump you 😭😭
superman
exactly!!
latino elf
it was so nice being her friend 🫤
beauty queen
BRO STFU AND READ HER MESSAGE???
latino elf
ok fine
bye…..
IMSG, “Y/N 🦈” July 10th, 2024
y/n 🦈
leo did u mean to tweet that?
leo 🛠️
tweet what 🤨
y/n 🦈
you know what I’m talking about
you’re not stupid
leo 🛠️
you’re crazy
i got hacked by
jason
y/n 🦈
you’re crazier for thinking I’d believe you
so… u did mean to?
leo 🛠️
i don’t want to ruin our friendship
please don’t let this ruin it
you’re my bestest friend
y/n 🦈
gosh let me talk
i thought you didn’t like me
so i never said anything…?
but i like you, leo. i really do
leo 🛠️
oh my god
are you serious
wait i’m going to your dorm
y/n 🦈
what??
Delivered
Leo looked at his phone for a good second and then left it on his bed, unattended. he ran to your residence hall— it didn’t matter to him that it was quite literally on the other side of campus. he needed to hear you say the words he had been waiting to hear since he was fifteen. he’d always had a slight crush on you, mostly off and on.
But during the summer, he had fallen for you even harder than he thought he could. he never thought that he could love someone as much as he loved you. anyway, he was practically dying as he ran to your dorm! his hair was disheveled, and he was panting a bit. he wasn’t sure if he was sweaty because he was nervous, or because he had just ran to get to your dorm.
He knocked on your door three times.
You jumped out of your bed. you felt like throwing up from how nervous you were. you quickly slid on your slippers, and looked in the mirror before you opened the door for him. (making the poor boy wait). you adjusted your hair, making sure it sat right.
You took a deep breath before opening the door. you almost didn’t, but a voice in your head was telling you that you’d be an idiot if you didn’t open the door. your hands gripped the doorknob, and then unlocked it. leo was practically dying because you were taking years to open the stupid door. you finally opened it, getting met by a disheveled-sweaty-flushed leo valdez.
“Hi.” he croaked out, his voice cracking slightly. he felt like he was on fire, literally. he wanted this to be over with! well, no, that’s a lie. he just wanted to be your boyfriend already.
“…Hi.” you answered, your voice was quiet. you had an awkward smile on your face. you were praying that you would just drown at this moment. you’d much rather enjoy that than this.
He cleared his throat, and finally spoke after a long minute of awkward silence. The two looked at each other “I really… really like you. I.. Uh.. You obviously know that already, but I wanna tell you in person?” he said, nodding along with his own words. his hands went to fumble with the hem of his shirt, anxiously waiting for your response.
“I really like you, too.” You replied. you didn’t feel as nervous as anymore when he started to talk. you felt your face getting hotter, and your smile getting bigger. he grinned at you like an idiot.
He thought that he was dreaming when you said you liked him. The start of something. “Really?” He asked, just wanting to hear you say it again. He couldn’t help but grin like an idiot. He thought never in a million years that you’d ever like him! You were totally out of his league. you were so awesome, so pretty, and so sweet.
You nodded again, rolling your eyes. “Yes, really.”
THREE MONTHS LATER… INSTAGRAM!
shark_girl
🎶 let the light in : lana del rey (feat. father john misty)
Liked by percysbeth, lava_boy, pipermstealer, and 122 others
shark_girl happy three million years with my boy!!! i love u so so so much leo 🫶🏼🫶🏼
tagged: lava_boy
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lava_boy who is that sexy man in the 2nd slide
→ shark_girl idk i found him at the store……
lava_boy we’re literally like this 🤞🏼👩❤️💋👨
lava_boy te quiero !!
→ shark_girl 🤍🤍
lava_boy ugh why do we literally solo everyone in new rome
→ shark_girl ntm on percabeth !!!!
→ percysbeth 🫡🫡
pipermstealer yeah you’re welcome 🥱
→ supermantaylorsversion i did all the work
→ pipermstealer i gave u the idea
→ lava_boy thank u jason 😒 thank u piper 🙄
→ pipermstealer i hope she leaves u
→ shark_girl woah guys no need to say that
percysbeth i support 🤫 (pls cook for me leo)
→ lava_boy on it 😎
lava_boy
🎶 ivy : frank ocean
Liked by supermantaylorsversion, shark_girl, and 98 others
lava_boy I would like to thank poseidon for being a father to my wonderful girlfriend of THREE DECADES 😎
tagged: shark_girl
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shark_girl I THOUGHT THAT I WAS DREAMIN’ WHEN U SAID U LOVEEEE MEEE 😭😭😭
→ lava_boy the start of nothin 🦈
shark_girl i’m taylor lautner
→ lava_boy FORREAL
shark_girl hi bf 👩❤️💋👨
→ lava_boy hello girlfriend.
→ shark_girl 😭😭😭
pipermstealer no because you guys are actually cute
→ lava_boy ACTUALLY cute 🤨
→ pipermstealer what do u want me to say yall are actually ugly
→ shark_girl pipe it down a notch 😔
supermantaylorsversion he’s a romantic now
→ lava_boy erm i’ve always been one get out 🤓
percysbeth no cause yn has actually dressed up as a shark
→ lava_boy send pics or it didn’t happen
→ percysbeth check imsg
→ shark_girl i thought that was PRIVATE
→ lava_boy LMFAOO U LOOKED SO GOOFY
→ shark_girl you’re done….
｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ hello….. first smau done 😎 hopefully u really like this bc i died ten times whilst making it !!! uhmm pls lmk what you thought about it 🥲!!! i was sort of rushing at the end, so umm.. shhh 🤫…. @thelostheroo @amoosarte
also i will have a master list soon….???? (hopefully) and my requests are OPEN! so, plsplsplspls request…. con amor, mo!
#𐙚 graceslcver#₊˚ ⊹ my writings#leo valdez#leo valdez x reader#leo valdez x you#leo valdez x y/n#leo valdez x daughter of poseidon#heroes of olympus#heroes of olympus x reader#pjo x reader#jason grace#piper mclean#percy jackson#pjo fanfic#percy pjo
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Quick it’s BeReal
pairing: Henry Cavill x Girlfriend!Reader
summary: Henry where his BEREAL goes off during sex an their friends react reader has hickies all over her chest and neck and tied up (BeReal is an app where you post a photo at a random time, along with your friends to share) (requested by @princessbetsy123-blog )
Disclaimer: This story is fiction and should not be taken literally, the behaviour is simply imaginative and the content may be inappropriate
Henry Masterlist, Full Masterlist, Taglist Form
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
“C’mere love Bereal went off” Henry smirked out of breath, his face flushed red as he brought Y/n’s nude body into his side. The comforter just about covering her breasts, her hair crazy and her face dazed with the post-sex look. “W-what right now?” Henry nodded pressing his lips to hers sloppily, their tongues clearly seen in the picture as he took it. Purple hickies littering the tops of her breasts and her neck as if it was jewellery
COMMENTS:
@/Stephaniejohns: YES Y/n GET STUCK IN, GET THAT SUPERMAN DICK!
> @/Y/nL/n: I swear i’m literally paralysed from the waist down, it isn’t even funny. He had to help me shower and everything; he still has to carry me down and up the stairs.
-
@/lucygrover: Now Y/n in 9 months time, will we see a welcome banner in a hospital room?!?!
> @/HenryCavill: That’s the plane Luce! Already got the crib made in the garage and the names picked out in my head ;)
-
@/Missbeauty101: Now I know why Y/n is always stumbling whenever she walks into work, poor girls vagina is getting railed on the constant. NAH BECAUSE ONE TIME OUR BOSS POINTED OUT HER HICKIES AND SHE TRIED TO PLAY IT OFF BY SAYING IT WAS A BURN FROM STRAIGHTENING HER HAIR. Her hair was curly that day.
>> @/aliciabees: WAIT BABES SOMETHING SIMILAR HAPPENED A FEW DAYS AGO. Y/n came to my birthday with her lipstick all over her face, her mascara running everywhere and her dress was missing stitches at some places😭 Just how feral are you Henry ?
>>> @/Y/nL/n: Feral enough to tie me to the fuckin bed and now we have broken bed posts 👍
-
@/Trishabrown: Y/n say… Is this what happened to the victoria secret set I gifted you for your birthday 😍 Cus if so, gift well used I say
@/HenryCavill: Trish that lovely purple number didn’t even make it through the front door :)
-
@/freddyyyy: Henry mate get stuck in😩 Don’t let us catch you through the gaming headphones again though, that shit sounded pornographic as hell
-
@/leogrips: Y/n when is the pregnancy announcement 😍
>> @Y/nL/n: HOPEFULLY SOON🫶☕️
-
@/Jessicaframo: Remembering the one time Y/n couldn’t make it to work because Henry fucked her too hard and she had to ask me to bring it to her. Girlie was not lying, legs were like jelly.
>> @/Jessicaframo: Not to mention the literal blood necklace she got goin on😭 Henry is less bear and more vampire
-
@/Leahtoner: Why are there ropes on the head board, and rope burns on Y/n’s wrist 😳😳 THATS SOME SERIOUS BONDAGE THERE
>> @/Y/nL/n: you should see my ankles babes, rubbed raw for real. Sweating buckets and now I have to change the frickin sheets. Think I owe myself a nice hot bath to be honest
>>> @HenryCavill: Uh no invitation?
———-
“Babe you can’t just post us post-sex for a Bereal, my comments are blowin upp” Y/n whined nuzzling her head into his chest, a proud smirk on his face as he felt her shiver every time he ran his fingers down her arm. “Love it’s fine, you look gorgeous in the photo, not to mention we’ve basically promised them all a niece or nephew” He whispered feeling her hands feel him up sensually, her lips placing tiny quick kisses onto his chest and neck.
———-
I feel like this one is kinda disappointing but I hope you all still enjoy it!♥️
Taglist Tags (Form is up there^^): @thebaileybugle @teti-menchon0604 @ggmimitf @ninasw0rld @acornacre @keiva1000 @spencerreidat4am @diyabhanushali1 @angelmather1 @hp-hogwartsexpress @lastwandastan @fdl305 @alexxavicry @bookfrog242 @alina02 @aerangi @i-beg-your-pardon-laufeyson @sparklemarysunshine @oliviah-25 @mischiefsemimanaged @nikkitc0703 @hallecarey1 @misshale21 @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mansaaay @marvelgurl @princess-paramour @stormcloudss @uwiuwi @taramaria @mysticfalls01 @kebabgirl67 @athena-roy @tinyelfperson @madebylilly @dumb-fawkin-bitch @vrittivsanghavi @beck07990 @kimhtoo17 @thereisa8ella @pandaxnienke
#henry cavill fandom#henry cavill x reader#henry cavill#henry cavill imagine#henry cavill fanfiction#henry cavill x female reader#henry cavill smut#henry cavill x you#henry cavill rpf#henry cavill one shot#romance
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"I'm The Crazy One?" (Batfam x Batsis) Final part
Summer: There is a saying. "Die a hero. Or live long enough to become the villain" You refuse to be both. No, you decided to be vengeance itself.
CW: Mental health issues, torture, stalking, violence, mentions of death, cursing, past trauma, mentions of self harm, underage drinking, bad ending
Tag list: @rosecentury @agent-nobody-knows
People call Superman, Batman and The Flash, hero's. While Joker, Luthor and Deathstroke are called, villains.
Rather simple to simple minded people.
But do you want to know the difference between these hero's and villains?
The Hero's have an unsaid code for no killing, a common moral honestly. Because thats not what heros do. Hero's protect, symbols for safety, peace and hope. So they take down the bad guys, and put them away.
While the Villains, they have no code, no morals. They simply want to control, spread chaos and dispare to whomever and whenever. They are killers. So when they are put away to prison or whatever, they brake out. And kill again, spread chaos and dispare to whomever and whenever, again.
And the hero's come to put them away. . . again.
It is a cycle, an unending loop that only stops for a second before starting up again.
But how do you end this cycle? This, usless and rather annoying cycle. Well, it's simple. Take down the Villains. Officially.
Now, some must be thinking. That the hero's can't do that, it was just mentioned that hero's don't kill!
Yes, the hero's can't kill. And simple minded people never really think of putting the Villain's to death due to the huge amount of reliance on the hero's.
So who has the guts to kill a villain, to willingly rid the world of a killer whilst becoming one themselves?
Luckly(and rather sadly), the answer to that question. Is Y/n.
A young girl who had suffered by Jokers schems. A young girl who prays for the night tarrors and panic attacks to stop.
A young girl who sees the man in her dreams, in the mirror, in the dark corner of her room at night. Hears the man's laugh when it gets far too quiet.
You wanted it to stop. To end it all. There were two options you had. End it yourself, or end it yourself.
You took the first option, which lead you to the top of a building. Half empty bottle of tequila you stole from the cellar and nearly dried blood staining your sleeves.
You stumble while aproching the edge. Humming and giggling at your scrambled thoughts.
Mumbling lyrics to a song you had forgotten the name of. None the matter, not like you needed the title of that name anytime soon.
You took one last gulp from the bottle in your hand, finally finishing it. You peeked over the edge.
"That. . . looks far." You hummed and dropped the empty bottle. Waiting till it crashed to the ground. Once you saw the bottle scatter into peices. You hummed and smiled drunkenly.
You stood on top of the edge. Spreading yoir arms open like a bird about to fly out of the nest. Before you even jumped.
You were tackled. Taken far away from the edge.
"Owwww! That hurt!" You pout and whined. You looked up to the person who had tackled you, and instantly smiled and started to giggle.
"Oh Du- ops. Bat signal! Hehe, you saved me~" You were about to say Duke's name. But reminded yourself that he was in his suit.
Duke took in your condition and frowns. He sighed and spoke "Batmans going to kill you." Duke can already hear Bruce's words of displeasure. God, Dick too.
You began to giggle "Silly~ Batman doesn't kill~" you started to giggle even more. Before slowly stopping ". . .batman doesn't kill. . . ."
"You know what I mean--" you blocked out Duke's words.
Because here, is where you relized that Batman- Bruce wouldn't kill Joker. Not for you. Not for anyone. Batman wouldn't permanently take down the one who had caused both you and Jason the worst event in your lives.
And it hurt you. Angered you. You weren't angry at Batman. Just angry that you relized no one could kill Joker. No one.
A few weeks of after that event. You were thinking. And thinking whilst in the condition you were in, wasn't really good.
You had decided to go for option two. End it yourself.
And to do that. You had to make sure that Bruce wouldn't be suspicious of you.
"I think. I need to go back to the mountins. . ." You gave Bruce a speach of how you know that you need help. Need to be alone with your thoughts and learn how to overcome them.
Bruce, of course agreed. He was proud that you made this decision yourself. And not having him painfully send you away unwillingly. You would of course had a tracker on you. Just in case.
You were saying your goodbyes. The last one being Damian. Whne you stopped at Damian. You couldn't help but to get emotional and hug him tight as you felt tears building up.
Damian was your little brother. Even with no blood relation, that is what you saw him as. You always wanted a younger sibling, the thought of spoiling them and protecting them was something you felt proud of.
And now, your leaving him. Knowing what your doing, you mostlikely will never see him after what you are going to do. Probably brake his small heart and trust after too.
But hey, this was for him. For all of them.
You got to the mountains. You took the tracking chip out of your arm and left it at the temple. Took out the tracking devices in your phone, cloths and other things you needed.
You were back in Gotham. And suprise suprise. The Joker was out of prison.
You sighed in disappointment. In your new suit, watching over the city. Knowing you cant act now. No, you had to wait. Watch, and gain the information you need.
So you watched.
Observed every criminal related to Joker. Every gang, every dirt cop every think that you could know about the Joker. You did this for half a month before finally taking action.
You were in the Joker's hideout. Hiding in the shadows. Eyes never wavering off from him. You wanted to do it now. Kill him. Make him suffer. But you couldn't do that. Not yet.
Just a few more hours. A few more hours till he leaves and is unguarded.
Once the Joker was away from anuone else, out of his safe zone. You striked.
You landed on the ground near him. The Joker turned to see someone who was in a suit and mask. He couldn't identify the age nor gender of the person.
The Joker laughed at you. Started up witty comments about how you must be someone who admires the Batman.
You walked closer, fully engulfed by the dark of the night and the shade of another building that blocked the street lamp.
The eyes of your masked glowed a neon purple. You tilt your head, a clicking sound coming from your ask.
Without warning, you grabbed the green haired man by his face and smashed his head against the brick wall.
You assalted the man for a good minute before dragging him by the hair to a dark corner.
The last thing the Joker remembers before knocking out, is your glowing eyes and that clicking sound.
Phase one was to observe and gain info. Check.
Now, phase two. Stalk the Joker and his every move and attack him when he's alone and defenseless. Continue to do this till he doesn't feel safe in places he's supposed to be, with people who he trust.
Unknown to you, phase two was working after showing up to Joker three other times, he's been seeing those glowing eyes in the shadows when you weren't even there.
And when it got too quite. He would hear that clicking sound. It was driving him more crazy then he usually was.
You had fun. Your not ashamed to say it, that you enjoyed watching him show sighns of suffering from afar. Hurting him in unexpected ways that made you smile.
There were times when you would unexpectedly run into your family. Batman tried to take you in, but you escaped. Giving him no words but a head tilt and the clicking sound you make.
It wasn't long till the media took wind of you. Your actions and swiftness reminded others of an owl. So they so cleverly called you "The Owl"
You decided, that youve had your fun. And it was time to end the loop.
So, for your last visit to dear old Joker, you attacked him in his hideout. No one was there. Just him.
So you tied him up, dressed him in his most classic clown clothes. Added a little flower in his chest pocket for decoration.
You circle around him, making those same clicking noises. Watched him replace his fear with weak chuckles and empty threats that turned to bribes them back to threats again.
He was a mess.
He watched as your suite suddenly popped out claws. You hummed and got closer to the man. The look he had on his face made you chuckle. And for the first time, he heard your voice.
"Why so serious?"
You laughed after saying those words. Because, it was something the Joker himself used to say.
You got closer to his face, lifting your claws to the each end of his lips.
"Come on now. Give me a big smile~" Your claws dig deep into his pale skin, slowly tracing the red paint that formed a smile and forcing his lips to go upward as well.
"Ah! Look at that. Such a dazzaling smile. . . now, let's keep that smile there."
You pulled out a big needle and thread thick enough to go through skin.
You took your time sewing up the smile so it could stay still. You hummed to a melody that just stayed in your head. Happyily sewing like you were patching up a doll, blood trickling sowing the man's face, mising with his sweat and tears
You leaned away and smiled under your mask.
"All done!" You made your hands clap rabidly in an excited and hyped gester.
Something wasn't right. The air in Gotham has been stilled. Like the big crimes and crimanals hace been put on a pause.
And Bruce noticed this quickly. And it has something to do with this: Owl, person.
They showed up out of nowhere. Beating some of the criminals half to death, and drag said crimanals so they could, 'play' with them. The only reason Bruce got this information was because of Selena.
She watched one of Owl's attacls go down. And it was brutal.
Even Damian, at school. All the kids talked about was 'the Owl' and how cool they were. Besides from that, Damian found out a few rumors.
How the Owl might be female. And how the Owl might be conected to the Joker going missing.
Yes, missing. The Joker hasn't been active ever since you came into his life. But the public doesn't really know your the reaon why Joker has been inactive. So the assumed he had gone missing.
But, most of the big bad guys in Gotham know. . .they know why. They had many reasons not to interfere.
And now, they will never even think of it.
It was all over the news.
Joker found dead on the outskirts of Gotham
The details, were probably too much for a lot to take in on the condition of Jokers body. Or what was left.
It wasn't long till Bruce and the others found out it was the Owl who had done it. And saddly for them, took less time to find the now poorly hidden identity of the Owl, for the Owl had finished their main goal. And no longer cared.
You were on a balcony in the Wayne manor. Thw last place the others would think to find you. But Bruce did. It seemed like he always knew.
Dick and Jason were right behin Bruce as the three watched you stare up into the sky.
"Y/n." Bruce spoke. Your lips curled into a smile.
"Batman. . ."
Bruce frowns in your response. "Did you do it." His voice firm. You frown. Was that seriously the first thing dear old pops say to you?
You began to chuckle out of frustration.
"Do what?" You turned around and gave them an innocent look.
"Kill Joker!" Jason shouted. Dick was there to hold Jason back just in case. You leaned on the railing and crossed your arms.
". . . You mad Jay? Don't worry. Made him suffer before killing him." Yeah, like that would make the man any happy.
You began to chuckle to yourself. "You guys wanna know something funny" yoir chuckling slowly ecalated to loud laughing.
"He called me-- he called me Crazy!"
The three watched your laughong combined with small sobbing. It was sad, and deeply discerning.
"I'm the crazy one? After all the shit IM CRAZY!?"
It seemed like everything was hitting you all at once. Falling to your knees. Your laughter being overtaken by crying.
Bruce sighed and went over to embrace you in a hug.
This had them thinking. Maybe they were too late. Maybe they never truly saved you that day. The you that they knew, had already died without them knowing.
#batfam x batsis#batfam x reader#barbra gordon#bruce wayne#damian wayne#duke thomas#jason todd#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#platonic love#found family#angst#bad ending#death
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Chapter 164 (redrawn version) Expert Review™️
It’s been a hot minute! I’m in the middle of a heated custody battle with Cain over our 37 kids and Pokémon card collection and that’s kinda been weighing on me a bit so I didn’t have the energy to write these.
Anyways, I did write a review for the first version of 164 but then ONE ran into Murata’s office screaming “ERASE THAT SHIT!!!” so I deleted it and here we are. I hope Murata doesn’t upload another chapter before I post this otherwise I’m gonna have a real fucking shit-my-pants meltdown. Like some real fucking episodic type shit.
I’m gonna get started before I need to call one of my emergency contacts.
Oh dude ooooh dude Garou is so starved for affection and appreciation that getting just a crumb of it was almost enough to make him abandon everything oooooh dude it almost makes me wanna hug him but then I just think about the time he stole my Capital One Platinum Credit Card and those evil thoughts go away.
Um um um something something African proverb: “A child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.”
Really fucking hamfisting it here, like—Garou’s entire rampage from Silverfang’s dojo since day one has been him screaming “I want to be accepted, I want to be loved” and his jealousy towards the heroes for garnering that acceptance and love… after getting just a tiny bit of what they get, it was almost enough for him to figure out what he really wants. But of course, he’s still angry. So he’ll keep fighting. Keep trying to bring the world into despair, not knowing that it won’t make him feel any better.
I’m sure if he were given time to cool down, he would find that he’s just looking for affection. I’m guessing that’s what they were going for before they SCRAPPED the Saitama sit-down arc. Saitama was probably gonna talk him down, give him what he wants, tell him what he really is, and Garou would slowly crumble back to being human instead of being punched back into one. Or he’d get pissed, flip the table, and a social worker would have to intervene. We’ll never know!
And I mean, I’ve seen some criticism of that before the redraws—people saying it’s too OOC of Saitama to wanna sit down and talk to Garou and I mean… kinda? It’s not like Saitama’s never been selfless before. Sure, he’s not Superman-levels of patience, but he’s been really kind! Giving the credit to the other heroes for defeating DSK, letting that kid keep his cash after the hero costume fashion show contest super bonanza whatever, saving that one dude from suicide with his gay little chopsticks…. I don’t think it was too hard to believe that he’d also want to help Garou.
GO GO GADGET ASS JETS!!!!
Ok I know they’re not coming out of his ass but that would be really funny—AND ALSO…. WHAT’S MURATA’S WHOLE DEAL WITH DRAWING MOTHERFUCKERS TRANSFORMING INTO JETS AND SHIT???? I’m not engineer but that doesn’t seem super realistic (I say as I’m reading a comic book full of superheroes and women who never complain about back pain despite having tits the size of Wyoming).
It was really stupid when Psykorochi did it and it’s a little less stupid now because at least we got the whole mountain-smashing attack or whatever thing (I’m not gonna go back and look at the name because it was probably really gay) so WHATEVER I guess but it doesn’t make a ton of sense okay SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF OR WHATEVER IDK ugh I feel like a greasy nerd complaining at comic-con when I’m really just a greasy nerd complaining in my bedroom.
Speaking about the aforementioned mountain attack (or whatever), Murata really removed the big titty elf woman and my sweet cheese my good time boey Boros 2.0 (AKA Murata’s ripoff of my sweet Xanados), so thats kinda a bummer. But I’m sure they’ll probably crop up later? Maybe? Please? I’m so upset about this LMAO
And “dimensional seal”? I assume that’s to keep “that bastard” in, yes? Perhaps in some sort of space jail? Could they be referring to this thing?
Which, I mean… it’s probably God. It looks like God… it’s really big like God…. and it would make sense that Blast and his Justice League would be really concerned about this seeing as though stopping God from committing fuckery is their whole deal (and also the fact Blast just “happened” to appear once Saitama poked a small peephole into this Thing’s jail cell)… but if that’s God and he’s been imprisoned in someone’s basement this whole time, then who the fuck has been fucking with Homeless Emperor and getting jiggly with it on the moon? Or, is this a sorta “awake and dreaming” situation where the God everyone has been seeing is just a projection by this Thing and he won’t reach his true power™️ until he breaks through the aforementioned “dimensional seal?” I’m super confused dawg! None of this shit was in the Bible!
Also this whole thing seems kinda sacrilegious but I’m not enough of a Christian to care lmao hell yeah I’d love to see Saitama clock this dude. If OPM gets a sequel then he should fight Jesus next.
Like 90% of this shit happened because God has one-sided beef with Saitama and everyone else just keeps getting in the middle of it with their Main Character Syndrome and I think that’s the funniest shit ever.
Lmao God is so fucking pissed at Saitama for breaking the rules (or just his limiter I guess) and becoming too powerful so now he’s brewing up all these fake ass haters in hopes they’ll be able to stop Sai. This is toooooo funny. I love the idea of God as central antagonist to OPM; that’s both hilarious and terrifying at the same time because there’s only one person capable of going up against him. Is that where this is going? Is that gonna be the Climactic End to this series way down the line? Saitama fights God? Because I mean… there is realistically no other being in the universe capable of giving Sai the thrill of a fight anymore. He has to fight God at this point. He’s already at the top of the mountain, the only thing left to do is reach for the heavens.
And I was wondering why God doesn’t just bloop Saitama out of existence or get down there and fight him himself since he hates his dog ass so goddamn much and I suppose that rounds us back to him not being at full power due to his imprisonment in the Dimensional Seal (which is basically just the phantom zone). This is all speculative, by the way. I’m not allowed to talk to Murata anymore.
Anyways, Sage Centipede, Evil Natural Ocean, and possibly even Psykorochi and Homeless Emperor were all sent by God to take out Saitama’s broke ass by proxy and if you don’t think that’s the silliest shit ever then idk what to tell you. I love it though. It makes perfect sense.
Now Garou is one of God’s artificially created Saitama Haters and he looks kinda cool I guess idk. Boy’s got mad hips for a celestial being I’ll tell you what.
OOOOOOUUGGGHHH I HATE GOD’S DOG ASS FOR PLAYING WITH GAROU LIKE THIS!!! BOY IF YOU DONT GO STICK YOUR HEAD IN A SEWAGE DRAIN PIPE RIGHT NAAAOOOOWWW!!!!!!
Multiple things to be said about this:
1. By Biblical standards, Garou is now considered a prophet.
2. I am aware this may not be Thee Abrahamic God™️ from the Bible but it’s really funny to think so and I’m gonna keep making jokes about it.
3. By Biblical standards, Garou is now also considered to be heavily concussed and dying from internal bleeding.
4. Even while Garou is Biblically concussed and witnessing A Religious Event, he still wants to beat God’s ass.
5. God ignores Garou wanting to beat his ass, which is hilarious. “I know you’re going through a lot right now so I’m gonna ignore you said that… take my hand and beat that bald dude’s ass for me.”
6. Garou wants so badly for Silverfang to be proud of him that he willfully takes “his” hand in this severe moment of weakness. Reminds me of Tai Lung from Kung Fu Panda (okay, everything about Garou reminds me about my boy TL because their stories are so similar) where, in his final fight against Master Shifu, Tai says “everything I did was to make you proud.” And when Shifu gives him an ounce of adoration, he wavers for a minute. KIND OF LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE WE KNOW…. OOUUUGGHH
7. God is a bitchass motherfucker for exploiting this and he better keep his doors locked tonight.
Edit: food for thought… what’s gonna happen when God takes his power back? I mean, we know Garou’s not gonna die or anything but like… oooooh spookyyyy. Oh shit. What if Garou does die lmao
In conclusion: GARFIELD, ARE YOU /J OR /SRS!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?
In conclusion part 2: still peeved we lost the comedy gold of the Saitama sit-down arc and my legal grounds to sue Murata for stealing my OC (this is a joke please), but I do think overall this works a bit better. The Monster Association Arc has largely been drawn out way too long and I kinda just want it to end but I’m sure a lot of the pacing issues will be ironed out in print. And if they aren’t, fuck it! I’ll violate my probation and fly to Japan to stick ONE’s nose in it (this is also a joke please). Have a good weekend. It’s Pride month, by the way. You’re gay.
#one punch man#opm#garou#Saitama#psykos#meta#blast#Boros#meme#Silverfang#Zombieman#Genos#child emperor
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Lbh Henry Cavill will be fine career-wise. He’s a big name and very popular across a lot of demographics
As someone who just spent the last month bingeing almost everything he’s ever been in, I’ll say this: most of his projects haven’t been great. I personally think he can be a great actor when the writing is there and its something he can really enjoy (ie. geralt and sherlock).
Idk who he is as a person. He seems really nice and down-to-earth in interviews and the like. His costars seem to have nothing but good to say about him. But I remember the MeToo stuff from way before i ever started following him, which i also remember his apologizing about in a way that seemed genuine to me when i read up about it also before i was a fan. And you never know about celebrities. They could just have really good PR.
Re: the witcher and some stuff from a podcast (???) thats going around. I dont buy it. Not because im convinced hes some angel, but you would think we would have heard about this by now. You’d think we’d see some tension between him and the other actors, but we don’t. All we see is tension between him and his boss, which is understandable considering he quit. Also re:quitting. It seems pretty obvious he quit bc he didnt like the direction the show was heading in. And that’s fair. But it’s also fair to assume that being “back” as Superman made him more comfortable with leaving the witcher in terms of consistent employment. Seeing now that there was no formal agreement in place, I can’t help but see it as unwise on his part, which I’ve realized kind of lines up when you look at his projects as a whole. He seems to put too much faith in others having the same mindset as him, which I don’t say as a compliment.
But man, what the hell was WB thinking. The DCEU hasnt exactly been doing well lately. Most of the attraction wasnt the movies themselves, but the stars like Cavill, Gadot, Momoa, Robbie, even Affleck. Trying for another “hard reboot” just seems like such a bad choice when what the DCEU has been lacking is any type of consistency that fans can rely on.
And no matter who the actor, or how good of a person they are or how popular or how employed, it’s unbelievably shitty to encourage one of them to reprise a role thats been in limbo for years and to have him announce it to his fans to promote their franchise and then drop him not even 2 months later.
The hardest hit, of course, is not really to henry cavill (who, again, will be fine and very employable), but to fans. As an actor, he is so refreshing because he was clearly so passionate about his roles as geralt and superman. He knew his stuff, he wanted to do those roles justice, and that’s why it was so easy for fans to love geralt or clark. To know that someone involved will put the effort into making sure “yes, this is the story i know and love, being brought to life in a new medium”, but to see the show drop in quality in season 2 and then that actor leaves, but then hes back in another big role that you know he is equally invested in, only for this? God, the disrespect to these people who invest time and energy and money in hopes that they get a good piece of media for them to enjoy.
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man of steel watch 2023😁(long af reactions under the cut lmao copied from twitter)
fuck it you already know
still wonder what zacks plan was with the codex🤔🤔🤔was it just there to thematically be him carrying the kryptonian refugees or was there more
still crazy that zack in his unsubtle way made the villain colonizing eugenicists and people got mad at him for saying the appropriate response was killing them lol
minor thing but appreciate jor not saying anything when zod was pleading that lara abort the launch, just a look, he trusts her, feel like thats paralleled with clark and lois's relationship later, again minor but superman medias all about speeches so lmao
"his name is kal, son of el and he is beyond your reach"🥺
lara's theme is so good
the pan to his abs, zack knew the demographic he was reaching for
the worlds too big scene😭😭
if i saw a big breasted man run boobily across a lawn and steal some clothes i wouldnt snitch
he aint need to throw ross out the water like that but he uses words like dicksplash so he deserves it
😭😭😭(got nothing to say about the "maybe" scene, im tired lmao)
forgot how many emotional hits they roll out so early in the movie lmao
lmao remember when people said ludlow wouldnt try to fight clark cuz he was huge, cuz as we all know toxic masculinity definitely doesnt make men act stupid and vile lol anyway proud of clark for fucking up his truck sexual harassers deserve nothing
its her lois lane shes here
genuinely didn't know joe was clark for my first 3 views of this movie lmao
the flashlight to clarks laser eyes transition was cool(so was the pod landing in the farm transitioning to the boat crashing against a wave scene)
super buff sexy drifting doctor clark kent
fuck this nerd who sold lois out after she gave him info. zack was already laying the seeds of the media being dicks from this one blogger lmao
"and kal, that's my name "🥺
jor-el's power point presentation let's go
do remember someone in good faith(hopefully lol)saying jor was "glorifying" colonization when he spoke "fondly" of the era of expansion of krypton, and maybe fair though that could also be why he and lara chose not to escape with kal, the whole they were a part of the problem
genuinely fav supes suit I get the desire to have the ma kent suit but i cant see it anymore as anything other than him reassuring his loyalty to earth(america) to the gatekeepers, martha had a whole lifetime with him let him have one of the few connections to his culture he has
first flight😃😃😃😃
seeing this for the first time as a teen and finally understanding "you'll believe a man can fly"
no superhero media has done flying as good as this, not even bvs or zsjl theres just something about MoS's flying that makes my brain light up
don't forget lois lane figured out clarks identity(b4 he even went public) without luther or bruce's resources, smartest bestest investigator in dcu🗣🗣🗣
should they have had a younger actor play 18 yr old clark in the argument with jonathan in the car scene, maybe, though cavills teen angsty" i didnt say that!" and "you're not my dad !>:(" voice was p believable lmao
the way she drops the biggest story cuz her kindness is as big as her drive to get the truth, no wonder she's what inspires him
ngl recently heard laurence fishburne in moon girl and devil dino and the whiplash between his 2 performances lmao
seeing the butterfly trapped in the chain has new meaning now
soundtrack: *hits those mos piano notes* me everytime:
well maybe for a little bit⚰⚰⚰
you think swanwick was watching the your are not alone message and thought it was a cliche
the military people behind the glass watching these two flirt right in front of them
when he breaks the cuffs while standing up😛😏
"it did to me"
maybe love is real idk
the ship atmosphere thing was such a good way to foreshadow kryptonite lmao(yes did still take notes while my twitter was down lmao)
Jor-els fun informative power point presentation vs zod's very bad no good drug trip
clarks mind vision of himself is literally still a farmboy idk why people still think he isnt "connected to his humanity" in the iteration lmao
black suit but with no silver to symbolize pure darkness, death and to make him look the same as zod
though not to jump to zsjl but we know zack had to smuggle the black suit in with the metal padding and post color editing in that movie do wonder if he was gonna go with a totally different design if he had complete control, maybe capeless, pure metal for the silver and a beard? do also remember him teasing the long hair in one interview lmao
watching superman sink into a mountain of skulls really rewired my teenage brain since i only knew of him from pop culture at that point ngl
will say kinda funny that clark is clearly torn up about killing while lois was just blasting kryptonians blam blam🔫🔫🔫girl boss
the escaping the ship ost is so good😩why wasnt it on the official soundtrack, i know theres a good youtube ver of it but lmao
ok starting to think the jor colonization criticism wasn't in good faith cuz clark does kinda bring up the whole "do you agree with zod about wiping out humans???" thing lmao
clark saving lo in the escape pod scene got me tense af in the theater
"YOU THINK YOU CAN THREATEN MY MOTHER?!" still goes hard
do like when clark is a lil petty lmao "cranky cuz your momma didnt teach you to not be overstimulated hmm"
neat little quirk clark does in all of zacks movies, before he gets in a serious fight theres usually a shot of him clenching his fist lmao
nam-ek popped the pilot like a blueberry
faora's so cool
my man fighting for his life in this ihop in front of all his old friends too
flying really was his one advantage against these soldiers and he loses that when he fights zod too they really put him thru it on his first day😭
faora made him waste all his bullets, wait till he pulled out a knife and then pulls out a bigger one like
like to think zack having the military drone strike smallville is a parallel to when the US did it to the african village in BvS
yeah big floaty alien thing in the middle of the city may be a lil overdone now but half dont look as good as how zack did it back then
world engine sound design so sexy too😋
zacks cape porn👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
oh god🥺best scene, yes am getting emotional, scene means a lot to me
also kinda weird when zack does invoke the moses allegory people arent like "he's literally saying supes is moses!" like they do with jeezy creezy and his imagery lmao he's literally looks like he's parting the sea here lmao
in the wider snyderverse am realizing theres more moses stuff you can connect to even if the timeline is wonky and its not 1:1, obviously darkseid is the pharaoh with his whole enslavement thing, him turning supes to his side could be interpreted as ramses and moses
in this way zod, who believes in kryptons removal of "free choice" like jor and lara said, is the guard moses kills when he sees him mistreating one of his people
and the destruction of the genesis chamber and the other kryptonians being sucked back into the phantom zone could be an allegory for when god killed the first borns of egypt, no moses expert tho so could be reaching lol but fun connections, tangent i know lmao
oh also rather than a race thing it becomes more that clarks "people" are the ones who believe in free will and choice while darkseid and zods dont lmao anyway
"krypton had its chance!" still to this day lives in my mind rent free
lmao love that lois and clark are just horny for each other no matter who is watching not the military not lois's coworkers or the other survivors
zod's monologue👨🏽🍳👌🏽
to this day idk if i can think of a cbm fight thats topped superman vs zod, just in like raw visceral action and the fact they actually have stakes in it
thinking about how i remember shannon telling zack "as long as my suit isnt cgi i dont wanna wear those pajamas" or something and zack said yeah and then it was lol
my superman hates and constantly destroys military drones
and welcome to the planet! Glad i watched this again after so long, definitely needed that, hopefully work lets up enough for me to watch the rest of the trilogy✌🏽
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January 7, 2023
DC League of Super-Pets (2022)
Krypto the Super-Dog and Superman are inseparable best friends, sharing the same superpowers and fighting crime side by side in Metropolis. However, Krypto must master his own powers for a rescue mission when Superman is kidnapped.
JayBell: Happy Keanu Reeves Month! We decided to include this as one of our Keanu picks, even though Batman-Keanu doesn’t have too many lines. It still counts!
I’m gonna be honest and say that DC has not produced too many big wins for me in recent times (except The Sandman). So the bar was set pretty low for me going in.
Thankfully, this movie was so much fun. The writing for a kid’s movie can sometimes be difficult to stomach as an adult, but I was impressed with how well the writing was in this one. The characters, both heroes and villains, had some great lines. They really gave the villain some charisma and attitude, which I love. They had some meta jokes, but they didn’t solely depend on them for humor. For example, Whiskers the kitten? Wow, what a beautiful sequence.
Overall, one of the best kid’s movies I’ve seen in a long time. But let’s not fool ourselves. Nothing could compare to the critically-acclaimed hit Underdog (2007), rocking a nice 15% on rotten tomatoes.
Rating: 7/10 cats 🐈
Anzie: The only thing I remembered about this movie was that it was like Superman and Batman have dogs. So the whole plot was kinda fun that there’s the animals all up for adoption - so the pets aren’t all perfect and they can still be super. And the kittens being evil… uh yes. There’s a lot of little details that make the movie cute and funny. But Lulu should really take a chill pill. And speaking of Guinea pigs. Ummm that was all too much and sure Guinea pigs aren’t to be trusted but this takes it to a new level. Except the fire and ice ones - they can stay. ( I only remember the ones name being Mark- sooorry.) I think the biggest thing that messed with me was the animation and the voice actors. My brain just couldn’t handle what was happening. Like would I ever picture John Krasinski as the voice of Superman or Clark Kent?? No and it hurts the think about. And I know thats dumb. With the animation - whoever designed Lulu needs to be put on trial. I’m scarred. Ugh and one more thing — Krypto is soo dumb and needs some therapy for jealousy and being so obsessed about having or not having powers. But yeah like I said all the the details and jokes were funny and cute and it’s a pretty solid movie. But def agree that Underdog is far superior in the pet/superhero universe.
Rating: 6/10 Grenade Throwing Kitties 🐈
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*Tony and Superman meet outside the Stark Tower garage entrance*
Tony: Ok there you super OP God like being you, I'm gonna end this quick so I can turn my attentions to the hot Amazon lady that came with you. Whats her name?
Clark: Diana is too good for you, you sleaze bag.
Tony: What is it with me and these square ass boy scouts huh? Jarvis did he just call me a sleaze bag?
Jarvis: Yes sir he did.
Tony: Hey boy scout...I triple dog dare you to cuss. I bet you can't.
Clark: I'm going to fu*#ing kill you!
Tony: Whoa! The mouth on this guy. Boy scout growing up (whiny voice).
*Clark flies closer but gets weakend and kneels*
Tony: OH did I forget to mention boy scout? I laced my suit with that kryptonite. Booger rock is what I call it. Does it hurt? I hope it does. Just saying. Kinda not fair you being a God tier whatever you are.
Clark: (breathes heavy) You talk to f*#king much.
Tony: Is this the same guy who where his underpants outside his pant? You wanna talk tough? I got something for you...
*Superman dodges the initial beams and shoots his freeze breath*
*Tony puts up his shield to block*
Clark: How did you get kryptonite here? Was the reverse flash?
Tony: The who? What the hell is up with you guys and your names? Can anyone be anymore plain with the name selections I mean really...
Clark: Says the man called Iron Man.
Tony: (Pauses).....touche (nods)
*The fight resumes*
*Tony charges up the kryptonite in his suit*
*It temporarily weakens Clark*
Tony: You like that?! Trying to get my Kirk Cousins impressions down yknow?
*Clark grunts*
Tony: OH thats right...the green rock (Sean Connery voice). Just so happened to have it. Wanna que another mini montages to reiterate the point?
Tony: Well look at that...see Jarvis, I can do it too!
Jarvis: Yes sir (unenthusiastically)
Tony: Dont worry about the voices in my head Superman (mockingly). Just my trusty AI. You have that where you're from. I used to read your stories in comics...but then the continuity was all shot to hell and I gave up. Plus I discovered women. You know...nudies and all that. Don't let these killer looks fool you, I'm older than I look but I was young once. Oh right my helmet....but you have x ray vision right? Can you see my handsome face? But not too handsome, in case you trying to take a peak at my junk. Impressive as it may be that would kind of be awkward given we are fighting each other yknow. I digress...actually no I dont -
Tony: This guy, shouldn't the green rock thingy be hurting you still? Gotta admit its alarming.
Clark: Shut uuuuuuuuuuupppppp!
Next part 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
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hello all! im trying out a new name, so for now you can call me clark :)
#im honestly#surprised i didnt try a new name before now?? but hey#also im super paranoid abt certain people finding me on here so killing two birds with one stone lol#and yes i know thats supermans name#but clark makes me too happy for me to care C:#could this be the gender euphoria yall talk about???#caro speaks
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Hey do you know a fic about Bruce being on a video conference with the league and in the middle of the meeting the kids have a fight and Tim's head gets stuck in the batmobile? Bruce has to deal with the situation and the league witnesses the whole thing. It's such a funny fic but I can't find it anymore.
Gonna kill 3 birds with one stone here, also I'm sorry I took so long to answer all yall asks. I kinda love how JL meeting the batkids has become it's own little fandom genre
Watch This - A baby dick classic
video message incoming - Is sneezing like kitty genetic?
Take Care of Business - Ah yes violence delicious
5 times the Justice League catch Bruce acting domestically - Must i say more?
Stuck in the Middle (With You) - damian is a beautiful angry flower
the bat's nest - Batman is dad? What a shock, absolutely flabbergasted by this information
A colony of Bats - A darker view of things
Bring Your Kid to Work Day - People be like "batman hates kids" people be wrong
dad time - *insert will smith pointing at his kids meme here*
Sneaking out for Superhero Teenagers: a Guide - Tim you little shit get back here
The Waynes and Their Friends - Diana adopts tim because she can
Bats, deaths and urban myths (and what everyone else thinks about them) - Bruce is a drama queen and I love him so much
What's in a Name? - Cause of death: mario kart
catch - Ah yes fast robin
Even Batman has his Limits (or how the most well kept secret in the Justice League is revealed because of Lasagna) - Jason you selfish fuck
The Justice League and the Batfam - A whole ass series of fics on the theme
Meeting the Batfamily - You're never gonna guess what this fic is about
Justice League, Meet My Children - Bats are territorial animals
Chivalry is Dead and so is Jason Todd - Jason todd is an absolute menace
The Waynes, Damsels in Distress - Bruce Wayne is a bitch and I love him very much
Of Bats and Robins (and Families) - More like the Gossip League
A Day in the Life: Gotham's King - Lois lane is part of the justice league right?
...And To All, A Good Night - some cozy christmas boy
Billionaire Down - Uncle ollie my beloved
sneaking into the batcave seemed like a good idea until a bunch of bats glare at you - The justice league is as stealthy as my dog when he sees the mailman
It's About Time - Clark wants to marry bruce, but he gotta ask his kids first
Slumber - a tiny baby boy
The Superman Onesie - Tiny baby boy: eletric boogalo
through different colored glasses - tired dad wants to unnadopt kids more at 11
Multi Media Marketing Mistakes - Bruce Wayne slept with Oliver Queen when he was young and you cannot convince me otherwise
All Hands on Deck (Batfam/Young Justice Crossover) - HOW MANY FUCKING KIDS DO YOU HAVE BRUCE????
Keep the Family Secret - let this man take a nap
And thats it, these are all the batfam + JL that I know off I hope you guys enjoy, tomorrow I will try to do one more list but no promises
#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#batdad#robin#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#damian wayne#tim drake#cassandra cain#batgirl#barbara gordon#blackbat#stephanie brown#duke thomas#the signal dc#oracle dc#spoiler dc#batfamily
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Justice League Babysits Tim
Batman: Everyone, meet my new Robin, Tim Drake. Alfred is out of town so he will be staying at the watch tower while I’m off planet.
Flash: You’re literally loaded?? Why can’t you get a babysitter???
Batman: I do not trust a “babysitter” in the manor. Also I do not want the press to find out that I have taken Tim from his home.
Green Lanterm (GL): DID YOU KIDNAP HIM???
Batman: His parents are on a two month long archeological dig and left their child at home completely alone.
Flash: And you’re about to leave him alone in space?!
Batman: I’m leaving him on an incredibly secure headquarters with the world’s greatest superheroes. He will be fine, unless you can not handle taking care of a young boy?
Aquaman: I NEEDED STITCHES AFTER THE LAST ONE!!!
Batman: You should have moved faster.
Aquaman: ...
Batman: I will return tomorrow afternoon.
————
Superman: The last two Robins were a bit... much. Bu-
Aquaman: A bit much?! The last brat gave me stitches!
Wonder Woman (WW): Speak ill of Jason Todd again and I will put my sword through your throat.
Aquaman: Listen Diana I know you loved that kid but clearly Bruce did not spend enough time training him
Wonder Woman starts pulling out sword
Tim, pulls out folder. Passes it to Aquaman.
Aquaman: Wait, is this blackmail? Are you trying to BLACKMAIL me?
Tim: I’m not trying To blackmail you, I’m trying to threaten you.
Aquaman: Ok, I’m done. I’m going to sleep
————
GL: So... did Batman tell you our names yet?
Tim: No
GL: Ok, well my nam-
Tim: Bruce didn’t tell me, I figured them all out two years ago.
GL: You wh-
Tim: I also helped update all of Bruce’s files on Justice League and iron out the details in his emergency take down plans for each member of the league.
GL: I don’t think that was a threat, and yet, I still feel very threatened.
Tim: Don’t worry Bruce doesn’t view you as much of a threat so your take down plans aren’t too brutal
GL: That is not at all reassuring.
————
WW: How did you and Bruce meet?
Tim: I used to follow him every night taking pictures of him and the previous Robin.
Superman: Weren’t your parents worried?
Tim: No, they go out of town often so they never noticed
Superman: They never noticed?
Tim: Nope
WW: They never realized that their child was spending his nights traversing the rooftops of one of the most dangerous cities in the world?
Tim: ...that is correct
WW: I’m going to have a... talk with your parents
Superman: I’m calling Bruce
————
WW: I am concerned for the boy
Superman: Why’s that?
WW: He acts very mature, more so than than the previous Robins. Dick and Jason would act out, laugh, and play. But Tim. Tim, he’s- he acts like an adult.
GL: How’s that a bad thing?
Flash: Because he’s still a kid, and he deserves a childhood.
GL: Thats sad, I guess, we can’t do anything about it.
Flash: Actually, I think I can.
Flash: Hey Tim! Come over here for a sec
Tim: Yes sir?
Flash: The floor is lava.
Tim: What?
Flash jumps on the couch
Flash: The floor is lava!
Tim cautiously climbs on the couch
Flash: Thats the spirit!! Oh and after this I want to see some of those pictures you got of bats!
Tim, smiling slightly: Really?
Flash: Really really
————
Later that day
Flash: No way!! How’d you get that picture?
Tim: Well I [gives long excited explanation]
Off to the side
Superman: I can’t believe Barry got Tim to open up
WW: I wonder how he did it?
GL: I think it’s one of those “Robin Weaknesses” you guys talk about so much
--------------------------
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#batfam#batman#tim drake#bruce wayne#red robin#wonder woman#diana prince#green lantern#hal jordon#the flash#barry allen#superman#clark kent#aquaman#arthur curry#incorrect justice league quotes#justice league#mypost
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Could you possibly write about Conner and Jon Kent for your writing request please
ooo yes! ok here are some random headcanons about their relationship
sometimes the just go out for ice cream and they sit in a park and rate dogs that walk by
“Oooo I like that one! 10/10!” “you been saying that for all of them Jon”
They play mario kart together
Kon would play wario and Jon would play toad
Kon teaches Jon all the short cuts and glitches
Kon makes up nicknames for Jon because sometimes he doesn’t like how their names rhyme (thats just an excuse for the fact that he wants to make nicknames for him)
So far he has: Jay, jonny, lil jon (like that guy), JK (bc its his initials), and jerome (he finds that one funny)
Definitely told Jon what sex was
He’s a bit traumatized now
Also taught him all the curse words
Ok Now He’s Less Traumatized
Sometimes Jon and Kon talk about Tim and Damian
“Yeah Damian’s an assassin I think but he’s fun when you get to know him.” “I kissed Tim and gave him cheese”
They try their best not to talk about Superman especially with him and Kon’s relationship
But whenever Jon needs to vent about Superman Kon is all ears
Ok thats it good night <3
#dc comics#dc universe#incorrect dc quotes#headcanon#dc headcanon#dc heroes#dc#superman#superfamily#jon kent#damian wayne#tim drake#kon el#conner kent#superboy#batman#mario kart#super boy
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Imagine:being long time friends with Clark aka superman and learning he loves you
You known Clark longer then you knew how to ride a bike you were right beside him when he saved a bus full of kids when you were in middle school. By his side when he fell in love with Loria, she was his first love and Clark was your first heart break. You held his hand thru out the entire funeral for his dad and besides his mom you were the only one too get a goodbye.
When he came out as Superman you and his mom cheered as he saved the world. When Clark met Bruce Wayne you asked him for his number which Clark simply said No. You mocked him for Falling in love with Lois Not because she wasn't amazing. Or head strong and awsome you love Lois but because he fell for another girl thats Name started with. A "L" you joked saying you probably had too change your name too " Lisa" Or "Lou" too finally get his attention. (( saying this drunk Clark being a gentleman never said anything))
Every life change event you were there. The Engagement, the wedding, when the twins were born and Lois asked you too be the God mother. You cried overflown with emotions. You were at every step.
When Lois and Clark decided too end it. You sat beside Clark drinking with him. Clark never complained about not getting drunk before but he wished he would of. It was dark times. But Lois wanted more adventure and the daily planet wanted her too do more and more interview with Superman and she was sick of writing and being Clark's personal reporter. So she left.
It was Christmas
The boys were upstairs watching or playing games you wanted them downstairs too watch the annual grinch Feast. You even brought over home made grinch cupcakes, and Hersey grinch chocolates. But Jordan and Johnathan were Too "Cool" too hang out with Auntie y/N. Jordan wanted too hang out with the girlfriend and the same with his brother.
"Guys!! Were about too start the movie!!"
The boys came running down as Jordan announced they were going out with their friends, Clark went too protest but you said it was fine and the boys in unison said " thanks auntie" and bolted.
Clark came over sitting down beside youm you reached over grabbing the blanket near you covering yourself and Clark up. "Their lost."
Clark smiled weakly agreeing. Watching the classic Grinch Clark looked down at you. You had a cupcake in your hands as he took it and ate it you laughed shoving him as he smiled as he spoke. "You ever want kids?"
You chuckled leaning back as you rolled your shoulders. " one day yea I wanted a huge family at least 4 kids" he chuckled softly as he spoke.," I'm sorry the boys -"
"You remember first loves.. you use too reciet me Horrible and I mean truly God awful poetry you wanted too say too Loriela that I got stuck hearing"
" what about you and Adam. God you almost got the worst tattoo." You hit his chest looking at the grinch stealing the Christmas tree from Cindy lou house as you spoke. "What a mess that was"
Clark simply smiled as you grabbed a pillow putting it over you as you stared at the tv. “are you thinking about going back out there? And Dating?”
“yea- well I mean... No- Yes! Yes their is but it’s complicated- were.. complicated.”
“God it’s Lois’s sister Luna isn’t it.’
“what No! Gross!” Clark shifted looking at you as he spoke, ‘it’s- i’ve been friends with her since per school.”
that caught your attention looking up at him , he’ seyes were pleading with you as you spoke, “Me?”
he simply nodded as he spoke, “I realized.. I was- im in love with you.”
All thoughts left about Ever dating Clark- it’s been uyears and he clearly had a type.. and you weren’t that type. so hearing him now declare love. it stunned you, “Im- my name doesn’t start with a L.” he chuckled as he spoke, ‘I know- what you thinking?”
staring up at Clark you smiled brightly grasping his hand, ‘
“i’ve loved you since we were seven years old clark- it’s about damn time you caught up.”
he chuckled reaching over kissing the top of your head as he smiled brightly ‘After the holidays.. want too go on a date?”
“Yes. but only if i get too see the best moves superman got.” Clark chuckled into your hair as he wrapped his arm around you, ‘promise. i’ll sweep you off your feet.”
you pulled back hearing that, “not- literally right you know i hate flying.” he chuckled saying he knew and that he promised your feet would stay firmly on the ground. you smiled saying perfect as you went too kiss him but your stoumch twisted. you suddenly found a wave of neverousness. Clark heard your heart rate go faster and your blood raising and even seeing you hestitate he reached down softly placing a quick kiss on your lips.
you smiled after the kiss as he spoke, “ that okay?”
you nodded your head, “ its perfect.”
#"#fandom imagine#imagine#fandom#dc comics#dc imagine#dc comics imagine#superman and lois#superman and lois imagine#superman imagine#clark kent imagine#tyler hoechlin#tyler hoechiln imagine
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guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.
For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell
fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one
i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft
that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you
tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again
as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams
jason: don't you dare put on weird shit
tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)
hear me out hear me out,
red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans
t h i g h s
holy shit yes.
SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe
superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'
does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom
it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.
I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?
as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)
somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.
and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!
babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence
babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to
JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT
again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song
The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian
oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag
soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"
i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage
Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?
don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)
What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk
stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.
This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it
This is canon now @nctxrejects
lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out
idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family
bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another
I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.
yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.
Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings
smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn
Duke was adopted by Bruce?
not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?
True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live
true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?
apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome
ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.
ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut
lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash
oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man
while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.
dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie
magnum hot take
hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth
thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)
why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???
what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones
oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no
I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked
yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends
"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years
i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.
BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them
lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.
I am in love with your posts your honour thank you
omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?
The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST:
1) clark
2) lois
3) oliver
4) dinah
5) john
Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian
yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.
tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.
and what about it?
when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST
oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat
Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes
lmao i do too
I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it
he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.
you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank
babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)
ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something
that's a very good vocabulary upgrade
somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”
steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.
Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you.
Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious
babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks
In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97
lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)
You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.
bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers
How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?
horrible, next question.
I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid
yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'
I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.
superman: so what do you do in your free time?
batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time
bruce and oliver be like
boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)
lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)
Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje
he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'
I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??
i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way
SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed
'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'
i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam
fair enough
#this is only like half of it#but at least you can get like a few answers#yanno fuck it#bataranswers#ask#asks#anon
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HI YES I HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY ABOUT TITANS SEASON 3 EPISODE 5 SPOILERS AHEAD
JASON SAYING BRUCE FOR FATHER WITH WORD ASSOCIATION AND BRUCE CALLING HIM SON
LESLIE THOMPKINS
JONATHAN CRANE CAN FUCK OFF
CURRAN WALTERS DESERVES EVERY AWARD
BRUCE TELLING JASON HE DOESNT HAVE TO WEAR A MASK TO BE HIS SON AND THEN FUCKING IT UP
JASON NOT LETTING ANYONE LOVE HIM OR TAKING THE TIME TO LISTEN
JASONS TRAUMAS
SUPERMAN NAME DROP
METROPOLIS NAME DROP
LEX LUTHOR NAME DROP
BRUCE AND JASON ACTUALLY TALKING
FUCK OFF JONATHAN CRANE
JONATHAN CRANE MANIPULATING AND DRUGGING JASON
RAS AL GHUL NAME DROP
THE LAZARUS PIT
JOKER KILLING ROBIN I DIDNT NEED TO SEE IT OR HEAR IT AGAIN
IM SUING WHOEVER DECIDED TO SHOW US JASONS BODY AFTER THE JOKER
FUCK YOU WHOEVER MADE THAT DECISION IM STILL CRYING
JASON JUST WANTING TO HELP ALL THE STREET KIDS WE LOVE IT
JAAON LET SOMEONE LOVE YOU PLEASE
BRUCE SAYING TO LEAVE THE NEW GIRL IF SHE LIKES CATS LMAOOO
THE ROGUES GALLERY VAULT
SCARFACE PUPPETT
TWO FACES COIN
THE JOKER CARDS
RAS AL GHULS SWORD
CATWOMANS GOOGLED AND WHIP
THE SCARECROW MASK AND FEAR TOXIN
JASON JUST WANTING TO BE OKAY
LESLIE TELLING JASON HE ISNT BROKEN
HE NEEDED THATS THANKS LESLIE
JASONS NIGHTMARES ?!?!?!
HIM SEEING DONNA WHATS THAT MEAN
BRUCE WAKING HIM UP
BRUCE DOING EVERYTHING DIFFERENTLY THAN HE DID WITH DICK SO JASON DOESNT LEAVE TOO
BRUCE SHOWING HE CARES FOR SOMEONE
JASON MAKING THE LESLIE BRUCE HOOKUP JOKE
JASON JUST TAKING DRUGS FROM A CRAZY PERSON WILLY NILLY
LIKE THOSE SCENES WITH CRANE GIVING JASON THE MASK MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE AND I KNOW THATS THE POINT BUT LIKE EHAT THE FUCK
JASON TODD LET SOMEONE LOVE YOU PLEASE
JASON SAYING ROSE AFTER SAN FRANSICO
JASON MENTIONING SAN FRAN
MOLLY SAYING HES CHANGED AFTER COMING BACK
THE FLASHBACKS WITH DEATHSTROCK
THE RECAP HAVING JASONS ATTEMPT
JASON SAYING HELL TELL CRANE EVERYTHING IF CRANE GOVES HIM THE FORMULA
CURRAN LOOKED EXTREMELY HOT THIS EPISODE IM SIMPING
LIKE MANS WAS A SNACK
HOW EASY IS IT TO LIE TO ARKHAM GUARDS LIKE JASON JUST SAID HE WAS WORKING FOR THE GOTHAM PD AND THEY BELIEVED HIM ???? THATS WHY YALL DONT KNOW ABOUT THE SECRET BASEMENT AND WHY PEOPLE ESCAPE SO EASILY
LIKE FUCK THE POLICE (EXCEPT DICK GRAYSON JIM GORDON AND BABS GORDON) BUT LIKE DO YOUR JOBS PEOPLE
CRANE SMILING AFTER HEARING THAT JOKER KILLED ROBIN
AGAIN I DIDNT NEED THE REMINDER
JASON WAKING UP AAKING FOR BRUCE IMMEDIATELY IM NOT OKAY
BRUCE TAKING JAAON TO THE PLACE HIS PARENTS DIE
DONT TALK TO ME
I THINK THATS EVERYTHING IM SAD NOW
#titans season 3#dc titans#robin jason todd#red hood#jason todd#dc comics#batfamily#jason todd wayne#bruce wayne#jonathan crane#titans spoilers#dc titans spoilers#titans episode 5#titans series#batman
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hi, don’t know if this was asked so I’m sorry if this is repetitive. But I was looking into Dc characters with the new 52 and rebirth. How did Kon-el end up being Jon Kent’s clone? I understand that this is the Kon that’s in comic/space limbo?
ALRIGHT this sent me down a reading rabbit hole but yes lets get into it:
To answer your second question first: This New 52 version of Kon who is the clone of Jon Lane Kent (different than Jon Samuel Kent who is the character we currently have as Superboy and soon to be Superman) disappeared with Harvest in Teen Titans (2014) #12 and has not been seen outside of flashbacks ever since (Meanwhile Harvest has been confirmed to be dead since then [in Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #17], but there was no body or anything for Kon) so that puts him in a type of comics limbo where we just have no clue where he is or if he’s alive or anything.
Now that original Conner is back, I doubt there’s much intention of bringing New 52 Kon back at all, but you never know! He was referenced as recently as Death Metal so he’s not completely forgotten.
But then to answer your first question: Issue #19 of Superboy (vol 6) gives the most straight-forward (a bold term to use for any of this) explanation of how he came to exist as Jon’s clone:
Harvest, the first main big villain in the Teen Titans book and leader of N.O.W.H.E.R.E. (no I don’t know what the acronym stands for) used to be just a human dude, and in his timeline in the future Metas/Superheroes had kinda turned on regular humans and there was war and stuff, and the metas killed his son. He then was Extremely Pissed Off by that and went back in time to when this was happening, the birth of Jon Lane Kent:
Harvest knew (since he was from the future) that Jon would fall ill and apparently die very young due to being unstable as a half human/half kryptonian. He let Clark and Lois think that happened and he died BUT actually took lil baby Jon to stabilize him after he fell ill and then raised him as his own son and a weapon against the metas:
They went on this whole crusade as Jon became older, killing tons of metas and stuff, but eventually Jon’s body was giving out on him for the same reason it had as a child. Harvest figured that the only way to save him would be to try to fix his DNA with the DNA of his parents. However, Lois and Clark had hidden themselves away from the world after they thought Jon died, so to do this Harvest travelled back to modern day before Jon was born:
While trying to figure out how to fix Jon’s DNA to stabilize it they ended up making a clone/new version of him from the same DNA that made the original Jon, bc that apparently would help in some way, and that’s how we ended up with New 52 Kon as Jon’s genetic clone!
However they were unable to get the clone to respond/wake up in the tube, and went to terminate the project, but while trying to terminate him he woke up in self defense and attacked aaaaand thats how New 52 Superboy came to be!
And as I’ve discussed with anger before, his name ‘Kon-El’ in this setting (given to him by Kara in Superboy Vol.6 #6 because he’s a clone) means ‘Abomination on the House of El’
But yeah, he was created by Harvest to find a cure for Jon. Or, as Psycho-Pirate so eloquently put it, he’s a “Living organ bank”
(Superboy Vol.6 #24)
Which... him being a cure for Jon didn’t end up happening how Harvest had planned. Things get... significantly more complicated in the time between him leaving his cloning tube and him disappearing with Harvest.
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