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#and worried that it’ll make mom upset and get angry and stuff
coco96 · 4 years
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LDAF - TS Parental/Familial
TONY STARK - PARENTAL
On The Off Chance (Tony Stark X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of spitting in a drink and some threats of violence, and mention of violence Request: Tony stark parental figure with “i know you’re joking but on the off chance you aren’t, no”
Arranged Plans Cancelled (Peter Parker X Fem!Stark!Reader) Warnings: Bad friends Request: Stark!Reader is often hurt by others, like people will arrange plans + blow her off/friends will make plans in front of her + not invite her. people will get her to do their homework for them bc they know she can’t say no. Peter Parker thinks its really unfair but she handles it really well + doesn’t make a fuss. one day Steve/Tony/someone accidentally upsets her (maybe they cancel plans she’s been really looking forward to or something) and Peter just loses it. she’s really shocked that he noticed and he’s standing up for her. She goes to Midtown too …
Homework Struggles (Tony Stark X Fem!Teen!Reader) Request: What about a reader x father figure tony where the reader is really struggling in school and feels like she’s failing him but instead of being upset he just helps them out and discovers they have adhd and gets them the help they need?
Accidentally Coming Out (Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Accidentally coming out, fear of homophobia Request: … reader accidentally makes a comment about being gay and panics bc she’s not out to him yet? And she tries to run away but someone catches her and brings her home?
Taking the Lead (Tony Stark X Son!Reader) Warnings: Spoilers to Infinity War and Endgame, death Requests: … the one who survives in infinity turns to dust and the one did is alive. the reader didn’t urn to dust and he missed his father, even throught they don’t have nice relationship. he learns that he has a sister and he helped to take care of them as he is like a father figure to Morgan. when endgame happened, the reader do the snap. it like the reader do the snap instead of tony
More Like Pepper (Tony Stark X Teenage!Reader) Request: Could I request a fic where the reader is Tony’s kid but lowkey has no time for the teams shit and is savage?
Hiding Hickies (Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Hickies/bruises Request: Would you be open to writing a tony x daughter reader where the daughter goes out with a boy for the first time and has to hide hickies? And tony finds out and she’s expecting him to freak out but he just accepts it and is really chill about it?
Metallic Limbs (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of injury and loss of limbs, mention of surgery Request: … Reader is a quadruple amputee after the Chitauri attack in Manhattan. Tony, As the one who found her in the rubble, feels inclined to watch over her and help her in any way he can. So he has her fitted with state of the art cybernetic limbs. Years later, reader is coming to the avengers HQ to get a tune up and she meets the friendly neighbourhood sideman without the mask. Tony is unsure if he’s okay with them being so chummy together.
Never There (Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Absent father, swearing, threatening Request: ... reader has been under Tony’s financial care since she was a child but he never saw her as his child and saw no need to spend time with her until after the Ultron situation. But with all the years or ignorance, is the damage already done?
Science Fair (Tony Stark X Son!Reader) Warnings: Mention of neglectful parent Request: Son male reader x tony stark where tony wants to be better of a parent than Howard to male reader
Bitten (Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Blood, near death Request: One more please if available. Tony stark and daughter were she gets bitten by a vampire and tony and team are extremly worried and strange is the only one that can save her? Fluff and angst. Pepper is her mom.
Left Behind (Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Mention of death of a parent, a wittle bit of swearing Request: … Tony wants to adopt a kid and he choiced the reader. But the reader is actually Tony’s child by blood m, but he doesn’t know that. and she knows that she is relateted and hates Tony for ‘leaving’ her. …
Looking for Advice (Tony Stark X Son!Reader) Request: Could you maybe do a tony stark x son male reader where the male reader ask for advise to ask a girl out
Dentist Appointment (Tony X Daughter!Reader) Request: Could you write one where the reader needs to have oral surgery to remove some problem teeth but she’s petrified to make the call. But she’s in tears all nigh from the pain? Her dad Tony stark, makes the call behind her back cause he hates seeing her in pain. When they arrive at the hospital she nearly freaks out saying he betrayed her so he hugs her and says it will be ok; but when he did that he also got her in the neck with a sedative to knock her out to make it easier on everyone? Lol
Session (Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM AND DEPRESSION Request: … reader is Tony’s daughter and has a history with self harming so he sends her to therapy for depression. Tony went to intro session with y/n and she says that she doesnt cut anymore and still maintains the lie and then Tony begins to notice all of the signs that point to her self harming and realises she never actually stopped? If thats okay? If not, i understand?
Dip (Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Depression, self-doubt Request: Tony stark x daughter reader where her grades slip bad because of depression and she panics but Tony’s there for her and makes sure she knows it’s okay to fail?
Helping (Avengers X Teen!Reader) Warnings: Bulimia, throwing up, bullying, self conscious reader. Request: I was wondering if you would write one where the reader is Tony’s daughter (although all of them are protective of her) and she has bulimia and she gets caught purging by one of the team members.
Feeling Loved Again (Father!Tony X Teen!Reader) Warnings: Swearing Request:I had an idea. Where the reader is Tony Starks daughter (15-16 yr old) but she lives with her mom. She’s kind of tomboyish and dyes her hair funky colors so her mom gets sick of it and drops her off at the tower unexpectedly and tells tony she’s his problem now. So he gladly signs the custody papers. He totally adores her and celebrates her first night with him with take out and movies with the whole team.
Parker! (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Bit of bullying, angry over protective dad. Request: Tony Stark’s daughter is popular and in a band and at a concert, Peter is getting picked on for being alone so Reader goes and kisses him and hugs him, surprising everyone with their secret relationship, much to Tony’s disapproval.
Five Days (Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) SERIOUS WARNING: EATING DISORDER Other Warnings: Bullying/ teasing Request: Hey love! I was wondering if you could write something along the lines of where the reader has been in recovery from an eating disorder and then has a hard relapse? Maybe with a platonic or father Tony Stark?
It’ll Work Out (Stony X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Spoilers of Civil War, emotions Request: Hey can you do one where reader is stonys daughter and it’s just about how the family is torn apart lots of angst ends in fluff
New Environment (Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of bad background and illegal activities. Request: Do you think you can do a roleplay where tonys daughter doesn’t come from the same background as him and maybe is coming from the ‘ghetto where she lived with her mom and she’s trying to act tough and stuff buts she’s actually really scared? …
Helping (Avengers X Teen!Reader) Warnings: Bulimia, throwing up, bullying, self conscious reader. Request: I was wondering if you would write one where the reader is Tony’s daughter (although all of them are protective of her) and she has bulimia and she gets caught purging by one of the team members.
Sit Down (Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Injury Request: … reader sprains her ankle and still tries to do loads of things and won’t let it heal because she’s stubborn af and tony gets all protective? …
Fight Me (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader, Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Threatening (not serious) Request: Hey can I get a Tony x daughter reader where she’s always says fight me like someone says “I Was sitting there” and she says fight me ect. Anyway lots of fluff a little Peter x reader too- Og I forgot Tony x daughter reader fight me she like pure™ thanks😘
To Make You Happy (Tony X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Hints of depression Request: … She’s been depressed and going through a rough time. So to cheer her up her dad gets her a kitten even though he isn’t fond of animals. He knew she always wanted one. And she does start to cheer up and they share a dad daughter fluffy moment.
My Daughter (Tony X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Mention of death of a parent Request: … Tony has a teenage daughter he didn’t know about but the mom dies, so he takes custody and introduces her around and just overall becomes a dad of a teenager? (You don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable)
Supporting Dad (Tony Stark X Reader) Request: Could you do reader being Tony’s kid and they’re as smart as him and decide to go into music instead of inventing? Like with Tony being the super proud band parent at every concert or somth about him being supportive
Caring Father (Tony X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Self Conscious reader, protective father, verbal abuse, body shaming Request: … reader who is on the phone with their mom and Tony (their bf, or dad, you choose!), being the overprotective dad/bf he is, has been noticing that the reader has been skipping meals. Like, the reader would only eat around lunchtime, and sometimes dinner, but thats it. He overhears her mom chastising her about how the reader needs to lose weight, ect. Can it be really fluffy?
Delirious (Tony X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Sickness Request: Tony stark x daughter request? Where she’s sick with a really high fever and completely delirious and keeps saying crazy shit. As concerned as tony is he can’t help not to laugh at some of her antics so he takes video. When she’s better he shows her the video and they both share a laugh over it.
Bookworms (Loki X Fem!Reader) Request: Hey could I request one where the reader is Tony’s daughter and she does a bunch of reading with Loki, but finds out he hasn’t read Harry Potter, freaks, and makes him read all of them?
Your Daughter (Tony X Daughter!Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Minor Spoilers of Civil War Request: ... reader is Tony’s teenage daughter and he doesn’t know about her and during the airport scene in Civil war this teenage girl arrives in an iron man suit and stops the fight and Tony’s like who are you and then she’s replies with “your daughter” ...
Telling Him (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of coming out and past murder Request: ... reader is Tony’s son (probably an adoption situation?) and is closeted gay… maybe after Peter is already a part of the avengers, and not during Civil War? ...
I’m Here Now (Tony X Daughter!Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Mention of car crash, death, injury Request: ... Her and her mom got into a bad accident. The mom dies and reader needs a blood transfusion so when the drs test her they match her to Stark. He gets the call and rushes over. Realizing he’s a dad to a teenage girl now he has the team ready a room and he welcomes her into his heart and makes her feel extra special since she lost her mom.
Who Is It? (Tony X Daughter!Reader)     |     Part 2 Request: ... Tonys daughter is sitting in the living room being like ‘hey I hacked into your system 'cause I’m your super smart daughter and have no where else to go’ and Tony starts to get really protectiv over her. And then finds out that she is falling in love with Peter, but Tony is basically the last one to find out? ...
Missing My Voice (Tony X Fem!Reader, Peter x Fem!Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Blood, surgery, needles, injury Request: ... reader loves to sing and play the guitar and a ton of other instruments but goes mute during a mission (due to an injury), and how it impacts Peter and Tony? And can Tony like, go to a ton of doctors and stuff to try and find a solution? ...
Sit Down (Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Injury Request: ... reader sprains her ankle and still tries to do loads of things and won’t let it heal because she’s stubborn af and tony gets all protective? ...
Being Tony Stark’s Adopted Daughter Would Include…
Be Careful (Tony X Daughter!Reader, Peter X Fem!Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Blood, getting shot Request: ... reader is Tony’s teenage daughter who’s dating Peter and she’s just the type of person everyone loves but she’s also a really good hacker and fighter so she does missions sometimes and she ends up getting shot? ...
Caring Father (Tony X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Self Conscious reader, protective father, verbal abuse, body shaming Request: ... reader who is on the phone with their mom and Tony ... has been noticing that the reader has been skipping meals. Like, the reader would only eat around lunchtime, and sometimes dinner, but thats it. He overhears her mom chastising her about how the reader needs to lose weight, ect. ...
Approving (Peter Parker X Reader, Tony X Daughter!Reader) Request: ... Tony says to his daughter that he doesn’t like the idea of them dating but behind her back he’s talking to the Avengers about how happy he is that his daughter found a good guy. ...
Warning Signs (Tony and Peter X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of Domestic abuse Request: ... reader goes to peter Parkers school and she also started interning at the avengers tower as a lab assistant? She gets along with the team and considers them family. She ends up not showing up at school or the tower for a few days so Peter goes to her house to check on her and finds out she’s being abused by her parents. ...
Parental Advice (Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Teasing Request: ... Tony goes on with his life as an Avenger and all and it’s getting harder on him ... Meanwhile, you’re struggling with your social life ... you become pretty lonely and your favorite place is the tower with the avengers ... Finally, one morning, you and Tony are both up early(like, 4 am) and you talk to each other about your troubles. ...
Being Pepper’s Adopted Daughter and Tony Adopting You Would Include…
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TONY STARK - FAMILIAL
A Little Dense (Tony Stark X Sister!Reader, Clint Barton X Fem!Reader) Warnings: A bit of swearing Request: Clint and tony’s sister. You are trying to tell him that Clints gonna be a dad and tony is gonna be a uncle? The rest of the team finds out at the end. Some cute and fluff.
Meeting Her Husband (Loki X Stark!Reader) Warnings: Pregnancy Request: Tony and sister reader: he and the team discover you are in a secret relationship with Loki and you both are happily married and you are a few months pregnant with loki’s baby and he is not happy about it.
A Little Talk (Tony Stark X Brother!Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Swearing, alcoholism Request: one with Tony as your big brother and you’re both going through a hard time or something?
Unfinished Business (Tony X Brother!Reader) Warnings: Death, death of parents, presumed death, a lot of emotions coming your way Request: … Reader is Tony Starks brother who, at a young age, runaway and now is coming back at Tony? But like Reader has some sort of a supernatural power like seeing ppl? …
I Still Love You (Bucky Barnes X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Spoilers of Civil War Request: With the stark reader and Bucky one, can you do where he blames himself for the death of readers and Tony’s parents, but she still loves him, even though Tony doesn’t allow it. Eventually Tony and reader have a heart to heart and gives her his blessing. Bucky puts aside his guilt?
Passing The Test. (Pietro X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Death threats, unplanned pregnancy, minor violence. Request: … reader being Tony´s sister. She dates Pietro for a long time and gets pregnant, and the avengers find out (exept tony) and their reaction, and at the end Tony realize because of her tummy and wants to kill pietro but at the end he is proud …
Better Choice (Tony Stark X Cousin!Reader, Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: One swears and mentions of bed relationships and breakups Request: The reader is Tonys younger cousin (teenager) and she starts falling for Peter and tony just pets it happen because he’s better than any boyfriend the reader has had before
Where’s Nat? (Avengers X Teen!Reader) Warnings: Blood. Looooots of blood. Request: teen reader has period and goes to avengers for help but Nat isn’t home – Tony is her uncle!
Overprotective much? (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: One swear word, threatening, flirting, drinking and attempted murder by an overprotective brother. Request: ... reader is Tony´s sister and she is really beautiful (thats why Tony won´t introduce her) and the avengers are surprised and start bothering Tony and he gots really jealous and protective ...
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One Night🌙5
Warnings: noncon sexual acts (to be warned later in series)
This is dark!Andy Barber and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: One night changes your entire life.
for @kittykatlow​‘s 200 Follower Celebration
Note: Sorry there’s no Eye of the Storm for today. I’m currently going through physical and emotional hell but I hope you don’t mind some Andy Barber.
Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!
Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
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You went to bed angry. You were always warned against it and you always learned your lessons the hard way. Hence, your current predicament and that stabbing just above your eye brow.
You got up slowly. You groaned and grumbled as you forced yourself to your feet. It was early and you had a shift at the diner. You never thought you'd be eager to be in your greasy apron but it was better than the alternative.
The night before, you'd spent a few minutes looking around the bedroom. There was an attached bathroom and you were thankful for that as you'd awoke once to relieve yourself before stumbling back to bed. 
You pushed through the half-open door and pulled your night shirt over your head. You stretched and reached to start the shower. There was a hand towel hanging from the ring above the sink but nothing else. You went to the closet but upon opening the door, you were surprised to find another bedroom on the other side. 
You swore and slammed the door before Andy could look up from his tie. You searched the handle for a lock and clicked it into place. God damn it! What kind of house was set up like that?
You heard his bedroom door in the hall and he knocked on your own. You scrambled to pick up your night gown and pull it back on as the hinges whispered and he appeared at the bathroom door. He looked confused as he crossed his arms.
"What was all that about?" He asked.
"I needed a towel," You huffed. "And I thought it was... a closet."
"Ah, linen closet's right next to my room." He explained. "I never really liked the layout but Laurie... I'll get you a towel."
You nodded and he left you. He returned with a dark blue towel and offered it to you. You took it and he reluctantly let it go. His gaze never left you; sombre and serious.
"Did you decide?" He asked.
"I'll tell Saul today," You said. "Is that acceptable?"
He sighed and sniffed.
"Call me." He said. "Doesn't matter when, I'll pick up. You let me know when your next appointment is."
"Okay," You resigned. "So, can I shower or...?"
"I gotta head out," He tucked his hand in his pants pocket. "I'll leave your breakfast on the counter."
"I can take care of myself." You insisted.
"Yeah, you keep saying that," He gave a sarcastic smirk. "What time are you done?"
"Seven," You answered dully. "I'll be home before curfew, dad."
He rolled his eyes and backed away.
"Well, won't be long till I am," He countered. "Isn't that right, mommy?"
He left you, the door closing with a snap. You listened as he went back to his own room and left shortly after, his footsteps fading down the stairs.
You set the towel down on the toilet lid and felt the warmth of the shower’s spray with your fingertips. You'd thought living with your mom was hard. Now you almost missed it.
🌙
You felt like you had a secret victory. While you'd given up the job that had seen you through the last decade, your job at the cafe was starting to look more promising. Many of your co-workers were college students and handed off shifts quite often. 
By the time you left the diner, dispirited as you were after the last few days' events, you had picked up two half-shifts for the next week. Another and you'd have more than thirty hours away from Andy and his suburban prison.
It was short-won as you found a bitterly familiar car waiting by the curb as you walked out of work. Andy sat in the front seat, his hand leaned against the steering wheel as he squinted at the glowing screen of his phone. You were tempted to ignore him and catch the bus instead but you didn't want another night of arguing. You just wanted to be home. You could hide in the guest room and try to forget. Well, as much as you could.
You knocked on the window and he looked over. He gave you his usual disapproving look and unlocked the doors with the flip of a switch. He tucked his phone away and turned the engine as you climbed in.
"I messaged." He said as he peered out into traffic. "Why didn't you answer?"
"I haven't checked my phone," You frowned. "Sorry."
"I told you to call me." He pulled out and his knuckles whitened as his grip tightened on the wheel. "You make your appointment?"
"Monday," You muttered. Only three days away. "Ten thirty."
"I can make it work," He said. "You wanna grab some dinner? It's a bit late to cook."
"You gonna spoon feed again?" You challenged.
"Only if you make me," He said. "I want a copy of your schedule. Every week. I need to know when you're working and not."
"You're not serious?" You scoffed.
"I think I have a right to know. And look, we're having a kid and we should learn to get along before it gets here." He glanced at you in the rearview. "It wasn't so hard that night in the bar."
"Andy, forget that night," You breathed. 
"I can't." His voice was low, dusky. "Even if... if I hadn't run into you again, I'd still be thinking about it."
"Don't do this," You begged.
"I love-- Loved my wife," He continued. "But it was never like that. Never that--"
"Stop," You interrupted. "Andy, I get it, well, I can't really understand what you're going through but you're grieving your family. It's confusing, scary, but you can't expect me to fill that hole. It was a one night stand. As far as I know those are suppose to end the morning after, at latest."
He was silent as he pulled into the drive through of a local burger joint. You'd been to the place once, they had great potato wedges but charged a bit much for limited portions. He stopped at the speaker and turned to you.
"What do you want?" He asked.
"Chicken burger, extra mayo, side of wedges," You craned to read the menu around him. "And an iced tea?"
"That's a lot of sugar. You should have a water for now and I have some stuff at home."
"Why did you even-- fine," You relented. "Water is fine."
Andy ordered and idled between the windows as he waited for the food. When it was his turn at last, he drew up and paid. He took the paper bag and the tray of drinks and handed it to you. He tipped, well, and thanked the server before pulling away.
"You don't understand. You're right." He said stiffly. "You can't but you can at least try. A baby... do you know what that means to me? Especially now, after everything. I never really put much faith in God but it feels like... a sign."
You lowered your head and shifted the paper bag on your leg as its warmth seeped through your pants. You felt bad. You were so concerned with what you were going to do, you hadn't really thought about him or his feelings. Sure, he was bossy, angry, but could you blame him? After a tragedy so uncontrollable how could you not be desperate for an ounce of control?
"Thank you," You said quietly. "For buying me dinner. For... letting me stay with you."
"You don't have to thank me for that. Decent people do those things." He stared at the road grimly. "I'm... sorry I've been so angry."
"It's alright. I haven't really been easy to deal with." You chuckled darkly. "I'd blame the hormones but I think it's just me."
"No, it's not," He turned down his street. "I'll be home late tomorrow night. There's lots of food in the fridge. You working?"
"Closing." You answered. "I'll be late too."
He nodded as he pulled into his driveway.
"Alright," He killed the engine. "I still want that schedule. It'll make things a lot easier."
You wanted to slap yourself. He came around as you managed to open your door and took the bag from you as he left you the tray of drinks. You followed him to the door, shaking your head at your own idiocy. He might be decent but it didn't make him any less overbearing.
🌙
Your days continued on a tightrope. You did your best to balance between Andy's irritability and your own misery. He might have apologized but there was something about the man that just kept you on edge.
And it was difficult to adjust to living with a man that was barely more than a strangers. To live in the shell of his former life. Even when you were alone, you stayed in the guest room, kept to yourself. It felt wrong to be there.
When Monday came, you woke to ready for your appointment. You dressed and went downstairs to find Andy awake and put together as always. The smell of his coffee made your mouth water.
"Any left in the pot?" You asked.
He shook his head as he blew the steam away from the rim.
"You can't have coffee. Too much caffeine." He said. "I'll buy you some decaf if you want. There's a gourmet place in the market."
"Don't worry about it," You grumbled. "I'll just have some orange juice."
"And some fruit, toast, yogurt..." He began as he set his mug down. "You should start writing down your meals. Keep track. You don't want to undereat." He opened the fridge and pulled out a basket of blueberries and a tub of yogurt. "We should also look into some supplements for you. Iron, probably." 
He grabbed a bowl and measured out the yogurt and then rinsed some berries to go on top. He slid the bowl across the island and put everything back in the fridge. He grabbed the loaf from the breadbox and shoved two slices in the toaster.
"They should be able to let us know what after today," He continued. "I was reading up. They're gonna take some blood, probably some urine, and you might even have an ultrasound."
"Reading?" You narrowed your eyes. "Did you do all this with... before?"
He pressed his lips together and cracked his neck.
"I was younger then. Naive," He said. "Nine months is a long time. A lot can go wrong."
You were quiet. You scooped yogurt into your mouth and tried not to scowl. You didn't need to walk into the doctor's in a mood. The whole thing was stressful enough.
He finished making your toast and offered you peanut butter. You took butter and accepted the dry dark rye. He tapped his fingers on the counter and reached for a book on the end. He slid it over and flipped it open just as you read the title; 'What to Expect When You're Expecting'. You wanted to laugh. You chewed instead.
"That's your research?" You asked.
"You should read it," He said without looking up, crossing his arms atop the counter as he bent over it. "You'd learn a lot."
"Oh yeah?" You swallowed. "I'll see if I can fit it on my reading list."
"Huh," He looked up at last. "I saw that you had quite a few hours next week. Thirty-three."
"You said I couldn't work two jobs," You shrugged. "So I have one."
"I thought we were getting somewhere," He stood straight. "I really did."
"What else am I supposed to do? I can't just sit around and wait for the baby."
"You can," He snapped and rubbed his beard, feeling the bristle of his beard. "Jesus, I just-- I'm trying to do what's right."
"For you? Me? The baby?" You wondered.
"For us," He said pointedly. 
"Us?" You echoed and set down the last crust. "What do you think is going to happen when the baby is here?"
His brows crinkled and took a breath.
"Well, I hope to have the nursery set up by then. Some clothes ready. No surprises, we'll need to know the sex so that we're ready." He slowly smiled as he spoke. "And maybe a pump for you, just in case. And I can take some days off to help out. It can be exhausting--"
"Andy!" You spat. "Andy, do you think-- do you think I'm going to stay here... forever?"
"You gonna pop this thing out and just go?" He asked. 
"I never said I'd stay. Why would I--?"
"Because we're gonna be parents. Together." He hissed. "Because I won't have my child bouncing back and forth like volleyball."
"I'm not doing that." You said. "No, I'm not--" You stood and rounded the counter. "I'll find my own way to the appointment. There's no reason you need to be there."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa" He stepped in front of you and blocked you. "I wasn't asking."
"You can't make me--"
"I can do whatever I want," His voice grew deeper as he backed you against the island. "I can tell the police you abandoned your child. I can sue you for support. I can have you arrested for neglect."
"Prove it," You snarled.
"Won't be hard. I got buddies in the PD. I don't even have to plant the evidence," He smirked. "I just gotta give them the go ahead."
"No," You tried to push past him and he grabbed your sides, pushing you back against the counter.
"Let me tell you something, sweetheart," He leaned in to whispered in your ear. "You're gonna do a lot of things you think you don't wanna do." 
His hand slipped to your hip and you caught his wrist, grasping his chunky watched. He stood straight and looked down at you nonchalantly. 
"You're right," He wrenched his arm away and looked at his watch. "We're gonna be late."
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Carter (Spencer Reid x Reader)
Summary: You’re a single mother, and your 12-year-old daughter, Carter, decided to track down her father.
Warnings: Mentions unsupportive asshole parents. Also language. References sex (between two underage kids) and teen pregnancy.
Notes: ....so i kinda disappeared for almost a month...and instead of updating my series i have decided to write a whole new fic... sorry? :) in my defence it says right there in my user that i only write SOMETIMES
also this is kinda an au where Spencer graduated high school at 16 instead of 12 yet somehow gets all his doctorates and joins the fbi at the same time. does the math work out? no. do i care? no. 
also sorry if your name is Carter. maybe you can pretend you pulled a Lorelai Gilmore and named your kid after yourself
Word Count: 1.9k
Masterlist
“Carter!” You ran through the hallways, paying no attention to the various government agents staring as you made your way to your 12-year-old daughter. About an hour ago, you’d gotten a call from her school because she hadn’t shown up to her classes that morning, even though you’d watched her get on the bus yourself. After the longest 15 minutes of your life, you got a call that freaked you out even more; Carter had gone all the way to Quantico and was now with the FBI. You drove like a madwoman from work, especially since all the FBI Agent, Jareau, had told you over the phone call was that your daughter was safe. Now, that same agent was trying to keep up with you as you marched towards your daughter, who was sitting at a desk in the middle of a busy office. 
“Miss Y/L/N, maybe we can take you guys somewhere private to-” 
“Carter Rose Y/L/N, what on earth possessed you to skip school and take a field trip to the FBI?” You interrupted the agent, talking to your daughter, whose eyes were now wide in fear. You two don’t fight often- or at all, really. You’d had her when you were only 16, so sometimes your relationship danced the line around the line between mother/daughter and two sisters. This was the first, and hopefully only, time she’d done anything to make you truly angry. Instead of answering you, Carter just looked down at her hands, mumbling something. “Carter, the longer you don’t answer me, the longer you’ll be grounded.” Your voice softened just slightly, but it was enough for Carter to know how worried you’d been.
“I found dad.” Her words made your heart stop. You hadn’t thought about her dad in a long time, you wouldn’t let yourself.
“What?” Carter only looked over to the man that had been standing next to her. You hadn’t even glanced at him, you were too worried and mad at Carter. You looked up at him, and he looked at you, and you felt like your world was crashing down. Spencer Reid. You hadn’t seen him since you were 15, when he’d left to go to CalTech. He was just a couple months older than you, 16 years old, but he was already graduating high school with enough college credit to put him halfway through an undergrad degree. He was set to become one of the youngest doctors in the country. And now here he was, 12 years later. He looked at you with the same wide eyes he had all those years ago, the same look your daughter had on her face. 
“Agent Jareau?” The blonde woman came back into your line of sight, but you only glanced at her before looking back to Spencer. “Can you watch Carter for a while?”
“Yeah, of course.” Carter stood up to follow Agent Jareau, but before she could walk away, your hand stopped her. 
“You’re grounding starts now, C. Hand it over.” Carter begrudgingly pulled her backpack off her shoulder and opened it. First she placed her phone in your hand, then pulled out a book and handed it over as well. You glanced at the cover. You know for a fact that she finished this book yesterday, so you tucked it under your arm and held out your hand again, and waited for her to place her second book in it. A moment later, another book was in your hand, and you nodded at Agent Jareau, allowing her to take your daughter out of sight to what you assumed to be her office. Finally, you turned back to Reid.
“Hi.” You started, avoiding eye contact. You weren’t sure how to start this conversation. You never thought you’d have to have this conversation. 
“Hi.” Awkward silence. Instead of looking at Spencer, you looked around the office space, and noticed that some people were staring at you and Spencer. Spencer followed your gaze, and turned back to you. “Um, those are my coworkers. We have a conference room, do you wanna talk there?”
“Yeah, that’d be good.” You followed Spencer across the office and into a small conference room. You both sat down at the circular table, and Spencer opened his mouth to speak first.
“Is it true?” You only nodded in response, still not able to look at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
You took a deep breath before looking up at him to answer. Spencer had tears developing in his eyes, and he was leaning towards you. Raising Carter on your own had been hard, but you’d never even considered how missing out on so much of her life would affect him. “You...you were going to college. You had this insane future ahead of you, and I didn’t want to ruin it. By the time I found out, you were already gone, so…”
“You left Vegas.” Spencer interrupted. “When I came home for Thanksgiving, I stopped by your parent’s house. They refused to talk to me, and said that you transferred to a boarding school.” You scoffed at your parent’s lie. Your parents were pretentious, upper-class people. They’d wanted you to “take a semester abroad,” and quietly give up the baby for adoption. You refused, so you emptied your savings account and booked a ticket to DC, where your cousin was willing to take you and the baby in. There, you finished up your GED online, got a part time job, and began to raise Carter. 
“Yeah.” You paused. “She was born May 19th. She’s 12 now.” Spencer was hanging on to every word that came out of your mouth. “She reminds me a lot of you. She’s always reading, and she loves school. I would say I’m surprised that she found you, but she’s way smarter than I am.”
“You never told her about me?”
“I told her some stuff. She knows that we dated in high school, and that you went to college early. I didn’t want her to feel abandoned, so I told her that you left before I could tell you I was pregnant.”
“You could’ve told me.” Spencer didn’t seem angry, but it was very clear how upset he was.
“I know I could’ve. But I was 16, and the only person in my life that was willing to accept me and Carter was my cousin, and she was only 22 at the time. I didn’t want to reach out to you only for you to reject me too.” Your response didn’t appear to make Spencer feel much better. “Look, Spencer, you can be mad at me all you want, but it’s obvious Carter wants to get to know you. I won’t force you to be a part of her life now, but don’t cut her out because you’re mad at me.”
Before Spencer could respond, there was a knock at the door, and a brunette woman poked her head in. “Sorry, I know this is important, but we have a case. Spence, Hotch said you can stay back, work this case from here with Garcia.”
“No, I don’t want to take you away from work.” You saw a stray piece of paper on the table, and reached into your purse to grab a pen. You quickly wrote your number and address on the paper, before pushing it towards Spencer. “Work your case, and when it’s over, we can talk more. It’ll give you some time to think things through.” Spencer looked at your words on the paper, and only nodded in response.
“You daughter is in JJ’s office, I’ll walk you over.” The brunette agent said, so you followed her out to pick up Carter.
~~~ 
A week later, you hadn’t received any calls from Spencer. Carter asked for updates practically every hour. You were tempted to give her back her phone and books just to get her off your back about him, but she’s grounded. That means the only books she’s allowed to read are for school, but right now it feels like you’re being punished just as much as she is. You were in the kitchen making dinner for the two of you when you heard a knock on the door. “C? Can you get the door? Check the peephole first-”
“I know, I know, never open the door for strangers.” Carter interrupted you, pausing her studying in the living room to walk out of your sight and to the door. You faintly heard the sound of the door opening before Carter spoke again. “Mom? Can Dad stay for dinner?” The mention of Spencer shocked you, and caused you to trip over your own feet and hit your knee against one of the cabinets.
“Shit!” You said loudly, reaching down to rub your hand against what would quickly become a bruise. Just as this happened, Carter and Spencer entered the room. Carter with a large smile on her face.
“That’s a dollar in my jar!” She said happily, grabbing your wallet from the counter and handing it to you.
“Yeah, I know.” You rolled your eyes, pulling a dollar out and handing it to her so she could put it in her jar.
“Mom and I each have a jar, and at the end of the month we go shopping with whatever money we have. Whenever she swears, I get a dollar, and whenever I do, she gets a dollar.” Carter explained for Spencer, then lowered her voice to a whisper, that you still easily hear, “I always have more money to spend.”
“Hey! That’s not true!” You defended yourself, even though you know she’s right. While the swear jar had easily stopped your daughter from using foul language (that she’d picked up from you), you had a lot more trouble holding your tongue.
“If your language is anything like it was in high school, then Carter is probably right.” Spencer joked, causing Carter to laugh.
“You know I don’t have to feed you two, I can eat all of this myself.” You responded, turning back to your stove.
“You wouldn’t!” Carter gasped, which caused you to laugh, giving yourself away. 
“Ok, ok, you’re right. This time.” You paused for a moment, “Hey C, Spencer likes reading almost as much as you do. Why don’t you grab one of your favorites from the shelf for him to read?” Carter clearly liked this idea, because she was running to her room in an instant, yelling facts about her favorite book from her room. You knew you’d only have a minute alone with Spencer, so you turned away from the food and back to him. “Are you sure?” You asked.
You could tell from the look on Spencer’s face that he understood exactly what you meant. Once he decides to be Carter’s dad, he can’t go back. You were giving him an out.
“Yes.” He answered, with more confidence than you’d ever seen from him.
“Good.” You said, with a small smile ghosting your face. Just as quickly as she left, Carter came bounding back into the room, carrying 5 books instead of the one you’d suggested.
“I couldn’t choose a favorite book. I read kind of fast, but you can borrow these for as long as you want! I don’t mind sharing.”
“Oh yeah? How fast did you read these?” Spencer asked, looking over the book descriptions on the back.
“I usually read a book a day. Sometimes I finish books in a few hours if they’re interesting enough.”
“Impressive! Maybe one day you’ll be on my level.” Spencer bragged. You tuned out of the conversation as Spencer began talking about how fast he reads, and how Carter could learn to read faster. You just watched them, enjoying the fact that for the first time ever, Carter could have a dad. And maybe, with time, you’ll end up being some kind of family.
~~~
taglist: @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @la-vie-en-amour1 @peculiarinsomniac
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h2bakugou · 4 years
Note
hi! may i request a scenario where bakugo is helping his s/o with homework, and he keeps yelling at her for not focusing, and she gets really self conscious/upset bc she has ADHD and can’t help getting distracted? maybe he feels bad after and the next day he brings her to his room to help her again and does it much more softly, and cooks up her favorite meal as an apology for yelling at her before? thank you!! (*´꒳`*)
a/n: hi love! of course!! i apologize if i get some things wrong, please feel free to correct me, i used google for a little bit of help with getting things accurate!
summary: during a study session with bakugou, he gets onto you for losing focus, but he eventually finds out that you have ADHD and he comes up to you to apologize.
key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk
warnings: swearing, fluff, a smidge of angst
wordcount: 1.4k
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“Can you please focus? You’re not going to learn anything if you keep spacing out.” Bakugou groaned, continuing to scribble down notes into his notebook neatly. 
You were trying to focus. Keyword, trying. Little things kept earning your focus, like the sound the clock was making, the small ticking noise happening every second. 
You wiggled your pencil between your fingers, anxiously re-reading over the question. You’d read it a thousand times it seemed. It was getting any easier to understand.
You were bored and Bakugou yelling at you wasn’t helping.
“Yeah, sorry.” You said quietly, trying to ignore the urge to yell at him back. You couldn’t help that you were losing focus. Maybe if this history worksheet was a bit less wordy it’d be okay.
But before you could re-read the question for the thousandth and second time, you took interest in Bakugou’s collection of All Might figures, which you had been sworn to secrecy about.
Bakugou’s eye twitched as he noticed your head moved and your eyes moved away from the paper. He let out a low growl and slammed his hands onto the table.
“Pay attention! It’s not that hard!” Bakugou was losing his patience with you. Everything was fine until it came to your study sessions. He’d never been this angry with you before. But you were just wasting his time if you weren’t going to pay attention.
Your head snapped back to Bakugou, a feeling of guilt washing over you.
“What did you get for number five.” Bakugou asked monotonously.
“Uh...” You looked down at your paper. On the thousandth and third time, it seemed to click.
“Oh well, it’s obvious the guy was a controlling leader so his people killed him.” You answered, a small feeling of relief washing over you. Bakugou sighed and accepted your short response.
“Was that so hard?” Bakugou mumbled. You looked down at your lap and began moving your leg. Sitting criss-cross, your right leg was now moving up and down.
You went back to wiggling your pencil and reading the next question.
You got lost in your train of thought to the point you didn’t hear Bakugou yelling at you again.
“Focus!” Bakugou slammed his hands down on the table again. But this was enough to make you snap out of it and bring tears to your eyes.
“I-I’m sorry.” You apologized. Bakugou softened slightly when he noticed a tear roll down your cheek.
“I’m sorry I can’t fucking help I can’t focus.” You groaned, grabbing your things and standing up.
“Hey wait-”
“No. Go spend your time with someone useful who can pay attention.” You slammed his door on your way out.
You made it back to your dorm and sat on your bed. You’d struggled with ADHD for as long as you could remember. Focusing in school was hard, paying attention was hard. You’d even gotten in trouble for trying to control your fidgeting.
You’d always end up moving a leg, or a pencil in your fingers. But hearing all that stuff from Bakugou, the guy you liked, your boyfriend.
It hurt on a whole other level.
- - -
“How’d your study session with (y/n) go?” Kaminari asked, devouring another bite of his food.
“She kept losing focus. It was annoying.” Bakugou left out the fact that he’d made you upset. He didn’t think it was really anyone’s business what happened between you and him behind closed doors.
Especially not Kaminari.
“Oh dude, that’s a little harsh don’t ya think?” Kirishima chimed in. Bakugou raised his eyebrow and rolled his eyes.
“What was I supposed to do?!” Bakugou groaned.
“Did you yell at her for not paying attention?” Mina asked, worry filling on the rest of the Bakusquad’s faces.
“Yeah? I’m not gonna waste my time for her to just sit and stare at walls and shit.” Bakugou was getting fed up with all these questions.
“Bro.” Sero looked upset.
“That’s a little messed up.” Kaminari added. Bakugou was now utterly confused.
“What am I missing!?” Bakugou raised his voice. He felt tense. Something wasn’t right.
“She has ADHD dude.” Kaminari spoke.
Bakugou’s face drained of color.
He’d royally screwed up.
“Don’t tell me you-”
“I didn’t know.” Bakugou mumbled.
“You owe her an apology.” Mina stated, going into mom mode. Bakugou nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets, his appetite had disappeared.
“It’ll be alright, you didn’t know, but you still talk to her about it, and apologize.”
“Yeah, you messed up big time bro.”
“Sero!”
“Sorry.”
- - -
Bakugou knocked on the door to your dorm. When it pulled back and he saw you, he engulfed you in a hug.
“I’m sorry.” Bakugou apologized. You were confused, but eventually, you connected the dots and assumed he was apologizing for before, during your study session.
“It’s fine-”
“It’s not. Even though I didn’t know, I shouldn't have raised my voice at you like that. I hate seeing you cry.” Bakugou said softly. This side of him was rare. You’d only ever seen him like this once before.
“I thought you knew, I figured Kaminari would’ve told you as soon as he figured it out.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bakugou asked. You didn’t have an answer to that. It never crossed your mind, especially since Kaminari had found out pretty early on, it made sense that Kami would have told Bakugou.
“I assumed Kaminari would’ve told you, he found out pretty early on, like the second week of school. You wouldn’t even look at me then.” You laughed.
Bakugou remembered. He wouldn’t even talk to you, let alone be caught looking at you. Until the two of you got paired up for a project and Bakugou fell head over heels for you.
“Let me make it up to you. We can study again tomorrow, and-”
“Okay.” You agreed. You didn’t let him finish, instead, you pulled him in for a kiss.
- - -
When you got to your study session with Bakugou, he had prepared your favorite food. You smiled and didn’t hesitate in taking a bite of the yummy food.
“Did you make this?” You questioned, your eyes filled with joy.
“Yeah. I had stupid IcyHot help me with the recipe. It’s his sister’s.” Bakugou grumbled. You giggled and raised a piece for Bakugou to try.
“Are you feeding me?” Bakugou asked. You nodded. He opened his mouth a tried a bite.
It was good. Bakugou was proud of himself. He assumed you must be really happy about it too.
“Alright let’s get this done!” You said happily.
You and Bakugou began your session. Bakugou paid close attention to you, making sure you were staying on track. 
You began to lose focus again. You could feel his eyes on you.
“We can take a break if you need too.” Bakugou said calmly. You looked up, a small smile on your lips.
“O-Okay.” You blushed. He was being nicer. Bakugou and you stood up, taking a quick break to stretch and get a sip of water. You sat back down, this time beside Bakugou instead of in front of him.
“Changing up on me now?” He chuckled. You smiled and looked at his worksheet before your own.
“Okay let’s read this passage. You start and I’ll finish.” Bakugou awaited your response. You gave him a nod and began reading the long passage for your literature class.
About halfway through you could feel yourself beginning to fidget. Bakugou’s thumb rubbed your leg, tracing small shaped into the fabric of your pants. While you still fidgeted, you felt at ease, calm.
You stopped after the sixth paragraph, allowing Bakugou to take over. Listening to Bakugou read was nice. His voice sounded good, and it was funny when he pronounced big words wrong. 
“It’s pronounced-”
“Are you listening to me reading or how I’m saying words?” Bakugou raised an eyebrow.
“Both...” You blushed. Bakugou leaned in and pressed a kiss to your cheek.
“We’re almost done and then we can watch a movie.” Bakugou whispered in your ear.
- - -
The study session was over before you knew it. And as Bakugou had said, the two of you watched a movie in his room, cuddled up beside each other on his bed.
You snuggled under his All Might blanket, the one you had gotten him for Christmas that he loved but would never admit.
“I love you.” You said softly. Bakugou smiled, unbeknownst to you.
“I love you too, you nerd.”
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moons-writings · 4 years
Text
Cinderella au - aftg
Ok ok, I know that I’m supposed to be working on my vixen!neil au (and I am! It’s just taking a bit because I apparently can’t write short fics to save my life), but I just watched the live action Cinderella and I have Thoughts. 
Neil is Cinderella, because while Andrew is totally the one with the evil barely-related family, it wouldn’t make sense for Andrew to go to a ball. Also, when Neil’s mom dies, his situation becomes worse, like Cinderella.
Lola is the evil stepmother but Nathan never goes to jail or dies. There’s no stepsisters (there could be if you want the Moriyamas, but I don’t because that just adds a whole other layer that I don’t want to deal with, also we like things soft) but the rest of the inner circle fills that role of pushing Neil down
Nathan has some high rank and is affiliated with the army. He’s not a captain or general by any means but has a reputation of being lethal.
Mary was the one with the real power (maybe a countess or foreign duchess), so Nathan married up. When she died, Stuart wanted to take Neil under his wing, but Nathan didn’t want to lose hold of the one thing that tied him to power so he argued that Neil should stay with him because Lola could provide some “maternal love”. 
Neil is forced to do household chores and clean up after his father and his circle’s kills. He’s also forced to learn how to use knives to help them in the future
Bee is the queen, she is sisters with Abby, who marries Wymack
Andrew and Aaron are Bee’s kids, Kevin and Dan are Abby and Wymack’s
Wymack is part of the army, maybe the general or something. He teaches Dan the people skills while Kevin cares more about being the best swordsman
Aaron follows his aunt and becomes a healer while Andrew becomes a skilled cavalier
They all play a sport *cough exy cough* that they made up when they were little kids (and that’s why the rules are so screwed up)
Aaron wants a ball because he fell in love with a foreign princess (Katelyn) but Andrew doesn’t like her so Aaron wants Bee’s approval to trump Andrew
When he were younger, Andrew was kidnapped by Drake and he saw some human trafficking and Drake almost got to him. Renee saved him and got him to the royal guard. Andrew became an advocate for cleaning up the kingdom and became close friends with Renee
Bee adopted Andrew and Aaron when Tilda first abandoned them. Tilda tried to take one back but Bee made her realize that guilt wasn’t going to make her a good mother so Tilda left them in Bee’s care
Nicky and the twins know each other and their relation. Nicky’s parents are influential so although Bee has tried to save him, she can’t really take him away without causing a scandal, which she doesn’t think will be good for him. Instead, she suggests that he study under an ambassador. Nicky gets to travel and meet Erik, the prince of some place more powerful than Bee’s, and thus Luther’s, kingdom. Nicky is happy and lovesick and takes over as ambassador to Erik’s kingdom
ANYWAY
Aaron wants a ball
Bee says yes
Andrew is upset because Bee says everyone has to go, so he spitefully says that EVERYONE includes commoners, so now the whole freaking kingdom is invited
Bee privately thinks this is funny and that maybe it will mean that Andrew will find a nice boy
Dan thinks its hilarious and while Kevin is upset that it’ll take time away from practicing, it’s making Andrew take out his anger during practice
Invitations go out, announcements are made
Nathan decides he wants to go in order to social climb
He doesn’t want Neil to go because having a kid will make him look less serious
Neil doesn’t care but Matt, who is one of the servants (stable boy), wants to go and wants Neil to go because he wants his friend to have fun
Lola sends Neil to Allison’s dressmaking shop to order a dress
Allison has Renee over when Neil goes. Renee takes one look at Neil and sees someone who’s been hurt and needs help. Allison sees a fighter with horrendous fashion taste. Allison tells Neil she’ll make the dress only if Neil agrees to let her make a suit for him and if he’ll save the money to get something decent to eat
Neil agrees because while the suit thing might be weird, he’s not about to give up free money
Renee goes and tells Andrew because she thinks he might want to know about the corruption in the nobility
Andrew decides he wants to see this for himself so he decides to lurk around when Lola goes in for a fitting
Neil accompanies Lola because she wants to flaunt her power over him
Andrew sees Neil and is like “ooh pretty boy”
Neil sees Andrew and is Suspicious and kinda recognizes him as one of the princes
Allison sees all this and makes Andrew measure Neil for Neil’s suit
Renee laughs at Andrew’s pain
The “yes or no”s start here, but with Neil flinching away from Andrew when Andrew goes to measure Neil’s torso
Andrew is suspicious and a bit angry at what this might mean, because he saw how the trafficked kids reacted to other people and he know how he reacted the weeks and months after getting kidnapped so he knows something is up
Allison drags out Lola’s fitting as much as she can to give Andrew and Neil time to talk, as well as to give Neil time away from Lola
Andrew tells Neil to meet him in the woods if he wants to get away from his father
Neil is still suspicious but figures it couldn’t hurt, and besides, he’s definitely faster and a better fighter than some prince, right?
Neil and Lola go home and Lola complains to Nathan about how long Allison took, Nathan lets her at Neil 
They meet in the woods the next day
Andrew wants to grill Neil when he sees how hurt he is, but Neil doesn’t really want to talk, so they exchange truths
They meet a couple more times like this (the ball isn’t happening for another three weeks because it takes time for this stuff to be planned and organized)
By the second week, the rest of the royal family has noticed and elected Dan to follow Andrew because Aaron and Kevin are both annoyed at Andrew for various reasons
The day Dan follows Andrew is also the day Matt comes with Neil. Matt had followed Neil because he wants to meet this person who is making Neil happy when he isn’t with Matt
Andrew is annoyed and tells Dan to annoy someone else, so she goes and talks with Matt. Matt now wants to go the the ball too
Slowly the foxes come together, and by the week before the ball, the royal cousins have taught the others exy.
Also, as the ball has been approaching, Nathan has swung between ignoring Neil and causing immense amounts of harm
This causes the foxes to rally even more around Neil
The week leading up to the ball, Nathan was scarily calm because the royal guard has lightened up on patrols and so Nathan isn’t as worried about getting caught
Neil tells the Andrew this privately and Andrew makes a note to get Neil away from his father asap
The day of the ball, Nathan and the inner circle go. They make plans to leave at midnight.
Neil isn’t really planning on going still, but Matt shows him the suit Allison had made for him (Allison gave Matt the suit because she didn’t trust Neil not to ruin it before the ball) and Dan had sent them a carriage, so it would be a waste not to go. 
They don’t their names called because only the women and distinguished guests get to be announced
Andrew abandons Aaron when he sees Neil
Bee has already given Katelyn her stamp of approval when Katelyn was the first to arrive and she saw how lovesick both Aaron and Katelyn were
When Andrew gets to Neil, Matt leaves him to find Dan
For a solid hour everyone is happily paired off, Renee watching fondly as Allison makes snide remarks on others’ outfits, Aaron and Katelyn dancing, Matt and Dan talking, Neil and Andrew in the gardens. Kevin is talking with the daughter and apprentice of a blacksmith (Thea) and Nicky is pissing his parents off with Erik. 
Then, when Neil comes back inside with Andrew, he sees a) the time and b) Nathan
He’s not sure if Nathan’s seen him, but he tells Andrew that he’s got to go, so he runs like the speedy little fucker he is. In his haste, he leaves a shoe, because Renee and Matt annoyingly made him change into bad-for-running shoes because his shoes were too dirty
This makes Renee, Dan, and Allison the Fairy Godmother(s)
Andrew picks up his shoe and decides that when he finds Neil, he’s going to get him shoes that fit better
At home, Neil finds that the inner circle minus Lola is back. They start to beat him up, and when Nathan and Lola get home, they continue to do so. Nathan can’t cripple Neil permanently because everyone would notice, but he does break his leg and slash him up
He’s about to break the other leg when the Foxes break down the door. Kevin, Renee, Dan, and Andrew utterly ruin Nathan, and since they’re royals, they’re untouchable
Nathan and the inner circle go to jail
It turns out Aaron proposed to Katelyn at the ball, so Andrew proposes with the shoe Neil lost. Neil is confused, but elopes with Andrew.
Dan, Allison and Nicky laugh, Renee and Kevin shake their heads for different reasons and then Nicky freaks out because he wanted to throw elaborate weddings for his cousins, but now Andrew has ruined it
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vikingknight90 · 3 years
Text
(Had to reupload this as something went wrong previously.)
How did Moroha get her ribbon? Inspired by a lovely fanart I had to put this into words. If this isn’t close to how she actually got it, I’ll be rather disappointed with Sunrise, haha.
I hope you enjoy ~
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   Kagome finished putting the laundry over a rope tied between two aspen trees rustling in the early spring wind. She closed her eyes and drew the wonderful scent of washed fabric blended with the fragrance of newly sprouted poppies and bluebells by her feet, greeting her before they did anyone else on that humid day where the sun’s rays had been gently caressing them for an hour or so. The miko straightened the last, honey colored sheet in her hands to rid it of wrinkles and was about to bend down for her basket when the sound of soft crying reached her ears. Moroha?! Kagome nearly stumbled over her basket at the noise and hurried towards her and Inuyasha’s hut where the sound seemed to originate from somewhere behind it. Moroha had eagerly wandered out to play along with Kagome heading out with the laundry, and she had let her. Kagome’s heart swelled at the little bundle of energy Moroha already were at barely four years old, and figured there was no stopping her heading out around their hut to explore and be a child, what would be the harm. But now she cursed herself. Moroha had gotten hurt. She must have fell, hurt her knee, bumped her head or been bitten by some big feudal era bug or something. What if she was bleeding? Kagome’s steps hastened as the sniffling becoming louder, and prepared herself for the worst when she rounded the corner to where her daughter’s distress was coming from. The sight that met Kagome, however, confused her so much she almost forgot to feel relieved.
Moroha didn’t seem to be hurt. Not physically anyway. She was sitting on the ground, her back towards Kagome, and holding something in her hands Kagome soon realized was a mirror. She stood still for a moment and observed as Moroha plucked at her hair that mirrored her own dark color, pulling chunks in the air, then patting them down again, with a body language Kagome saw was clearly upset. Another quiet sob from her daughter’s mouth snapped her out of her staring bewilderment.  
“Moroha?”
The young girl jolted and nearly dropped the mirror as she turned towards her mom. Her dark brown eyes that also mirrored Kagome’s had tears in their corners. Her chubby cheeks were red and puffed, giving away how she’d wiped and rubbed them. Kagome felt as if her heart would burst at how sad Moroha looked right then, but simultaneously the cutest she had seen with her daughter’s big round eyes clearly looking to her for comfort.
“Moroha! Darling, what’s the matter?” Kagome hurried over and picked Moroha up, snuggled her face against hers and used the sleeve of her miko dress to wipe another tear rolling from the young child’s eyes.
“Mommy, I’m…” Moroha sniveled and responded to the comforting embrace by leaning against her mother’s chest and clutching at her dress. “Shhh, my baby. Just tell me what it is.” Kagome leaned her cheek against Moroha’s head and used her fingers to tuck some ebony strains behind her ears. “Mommy… how come… how come I don’t have ears like daddy?” “What??” Kagome wasn’t sure she had just heard right. She shifted Moroha in her arms to look her in the eyes, a smile she couldn’t help appeared on her face, though by the look in Moroha’s face, it wasn’t the reaction she wanted. “What did you just say, sweetie?” Kagome had to hear it again, she couldn’t quite believe it.
Moroha pouted and avoided her mother’s bewildered gaze. “Daddy has such cool ears… why don’t I have them? I have really dumb ears.” “Moroha...” Kagome couldn’t help that a laugh escaped her lips at the end of her name, and she hugged her daughter tightly at the revelation of her so-called distress. She suddenly realized why Moroha had been pulling her hair in apparent triangular shapes in front of the mirror. Had she been trying to make her hair look like Inuyasha’s ears?
“My sweet little girl, is that why you’ve been crying?” Kagome giggled into her daughter’s hair and Moroha squirmed in her hold.
“It’s not funny, mommy!”
Kagome heard her daughter’s still tear-ridden voice and suppressed her laugh, realizing this really was serious for Moroha.
Of all the things I worried my daughter would cry about, this was not one of them.
Kagome sighed and kissed Moroha’s forehead before she put her down and leaned on her knees in front of her, meeting Moroha’s eyes that were still shining from tears and an adorable annoyed look on her face. “Sweetie, your ears aren’t dumb. You have the same ears as me, didn’t you know? You have your mother’s ears.” Kagome smiled and tucked her hair behind her right ear to show Moroha, wondering if her daughter somehow hadn’t realized that before.
But Moroha only pouted further and stared at the ground.
“I don’t care. I want daddy’s ears.”
Kagome saw Moroha’s expression grow more defiant, and she sighed and leaned her head in her hand, wondering how long this would be a thing.
What do I tell her? There isn’t really a nice way to say that it’s impossible for her to have ears like Inuyasha, not when she wasn’t born with them. 
A thought struck Kagome that had her mind temporarily be distracted from her daughter. If she were to have… more children with Inuyasha, would one of them eventually be born with his ears? She tried to picture a baby in her lap with adorable little dog ears peeking out of his or her hair, and giggled fondly at the mental image.  
She was brought back to the present however when Moroha saw her humored face, made an angry turn and uttered: “I’m going to my room!” almost too fast for Kagome to reach out and grab her, but she just made it.
“Now hang on, Moroha. Come with mommy instead.” Another idea hit her, and Kagome’s face lit up.
“I might not be able to give you your father’s ears, but I can give you the next best thing.”
“The next… best thing…?” Moroha sniffed and let her mom take her hand and gently lead her into their hut. Kagome sat Moroha at a straw chair and picked up a bigger mirror she’d also brought from her world that she sat in front of her.
“Now just sit here for a minute while mommy goes to get something.”
Kagome bopped Moroha’s nose with her finger at the request and saw that the little girl still was teary eyed, but intrigued. Her eyes shone with wonder now at what her mother meant by this “next best thing”.  
Kagome was hoping. She really liked this idea herself, but she had no idea if Moroha would. She just had to give it a try.
   Pushing apart the straw door to the part of the hut where she and Inuyasha slept, Kagome went to the corner were some boxes of various contents were stocked, many with more stuff and remnants from her own world that she had periodically brought over in her time travels. The miko pulled out one at the bottom, the layer of dust covering the lid revealing how it was probably years since it was last opened.
She drew a deep breath and pulled the lid off, and a rush of nostalgia engulfed and warmed her as she looked down at her old school uniform. The white and green fabric complimented by a red ribbon by the neck piece brought back memories of her family, her old home, and she had to swallow some tears building in her throat while she gently stroked her hand over the outfit she had once worn every day to this era, and now it had been years since. She was older now, and a mother. Kagome wondered if she could even fit into the old teenage outfit anymore if she wanted to. A solemn laugh escaped her lips at the thought.
Mom. Grandpa. Sota. Buyo. I hope you’re all doing alright.
Kagome ended up staring at the uniform longer than she had intended when she heard Moroha shifting in the chair in the other room and a half curios-half annoyed “Moommmy” reaching her.
“Be right there.”
Kagome’s eyes went to the ribbon, still a bright red after all these years, exposure to the elements and wear and tear. She reached down and untied it, pulled it out and examined its length and form.
Good, it should do.
  Kagome was nervous when she returned to Moroha, holding the ribbon behind her back. Moroha clearly saw her arms hiding something and a smile finally emerged on the young girl’s face, revealing a tiny fang by the corner of her lips.
“What have you got there, mommy? Show me!”
“Just a minute, Moroha. Turn around and look in the mirror first.”
“Okay!”
Moroha excitedly shouted and turned around, her little arms and legs fidgeting in anticipation as her mom came up behind her with an equally excited smile.
“I’ll be doing something to your hair, okay? Now you close your eyes, and don’t open them until I say so. You got that?” Kagome inquired while still keeping her arms behind her, giving Moroha a mock-stern expression in the mirror.
“Aww, really mommy? How long do I have to close them?”
“Till I’m done with what I’m gonna do. It’ll only take a minute, two tops. I promise.”
Moroha’s face became a pout again, but then she saw her mother’s expression become a playfully pleading one in the mirror. It made Moroha realize she wanted to be a good girl right then and listen to her mom. So she closed her eyes and barely contained a squeal when Kagome’s hands gently pulled at her hair and did something that Moroha couldn’t figure out. It involved tying her hair up, she found that out soon enough, but how would that give her her father’s ears? Moroha’s heart dropped a little. What if mommy couldn’t keep what she had told her?
About two minutes passed of her mom pulling and twirling her hair before she finally said the words. “Alright, open your eyes!”
Moroha opened one eye first, nervous for what she would see. Her other eye flew open a second later. Her jaw dropped. Kagome put her fingers to her lips as she smiled in anticipation for what Moroha would think. She didn’t have to wait long as a giant smile soon spread on Moroha’s face, revealing both her fangs. Her eyes sparkled and she leaned towards the mirror while her hands reached up and petted the red ribbon sticking out of her hair, emulating two distinct triangular shapes.
“Mommy… ! I look… I look like daddy!”
Moroha squealed and jumped to her feet on the chair, nearly toppling over so Kagome reached out in case she’d fall, but Moroha didn’t even notice. Her attention was entirely elsewhere.
“Ears! Ears like daddy’s! I have ears like daddy’s!”
She squealed again and finally turned around, jumping into her mother’s arms who barely got to brace herself and caught her with a groan followed by a laugh.
“You like it, sweetie? Your daddy’s ears are made from a ribbon your mommy used to wear all the time while I was younger. So you take good care of it, okay?”
“I will!” Moroha sang in Kagome’s arms and wrapped her arms around her shoulders and cuddled against her neck while she let out an adorably, bubbly laugh that made Kagome’s heart swell and she embraced her daughter back, planting kisses on her dark locks and feeling the ribbon tickling her cheeks as Moroha kept giggling and nuzzling her collarbone.
  A sound of rustling and footsteps from the outside reached Kagome’s ears, and she let out a playful gasp against Moroha’s head, before she whispered “Did you hear that? Sounds like daddy’s home.”
Moroha could barely be contained anymore as her face lit up like the sun and she wriggled in Kagome’s arms to be put down. Her little feet took off towards the straw door as soon they touched the ground and Kagome followed. She had to see this. 
“Daddy!”
“Moroha?”
Inuyasha hadn’t expected to see his daughter come running towards him at such a speed and bent down to open his arms for her, not really noticing the ribbon at first but the ecstatic expression on his little girl’s face.
“What have got you so excited?” Inuyasha couldn’t help a tiny chuckle as Moroha reached him and jumped to his arms, a blush on her face from the joy of seeing her dad again and be lifted in the air by him, and she giggled and snuggled into his robe like she had just done her mom. Inuyasha fussed a little at the sudden display of affection that Moroha hadn’t really expressed to this extent before, but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t warm his heart to look down at his daughter cuddled into his arms, an adorable smile on her face while she rubbed against his robe. He just now noticed the red ribbon in her hair, and a quick sniff made him realize it was the ribbon of Kagome’s old uniform. Why was Moroha wearing this all of a sudden? The shape it created was initially lost on him.
“What a nice ribbon you got, Moroha. ‘Your mom give it to you?”
Inuyasha looked over at Kagome now who stood by their hut’s entrance and was going to give her a greeting smile, but his face fell into confusion when he saw his wife looking on them with a humored expression. What was up with her?
Moroha jolted at her dad’s question as if she’d almost forgot what had made her so excited. Before Inuyasha got to ask Kagome what was up with the face, Moroha shifted in his arms and beamed up at him.
“I did, daddy. Look!” she reached her chubby arms up and rubbed at the ribbon, her smile once again revealing two tiny fangs.
“I look like daddy now! I have daddy’s ears!”
“Ehh? … you… what??”
Kagome knew it was coming and had tried to suppress it, but her laugh erupted now at the sight of Inuyasha’s utterly dumbfounded face. The hanyo’s jaw dropped as he stared down at his daughter, and only now realized how her ribbon indeed had the same shape and placement as his ears. Before he realized it, a blush was spreading across the dog demon’s face. He made some indistinguishable noises of embarrassment and bent to put Moroha down, but remained on her eye level.
“S… silly girl..!” he sputtered, only to be met by Moroha still tugging at her ribbon and sporting the proudest smile he’d ever seen.
“What’s up with that, Moroha? Why do you want a ribbon to look like my ears?”
Just like Kagome earlier, Inuyasha couldn’t believe he had heard right.
“Why? Because daddy’s ears are the coolest!” Moroha exclaimed while gesturing to the objects in question that started twitching as Inuyasha’s embarrassment grew further. Moroha saw this and laughed heartily and tugged at her ribbon “ears” again to mimic the movement.
“I found her crying earlier, Inuyasha.” Kagome caught his attention as she’d finished laughing and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.
“She was crying, wishing she had your ears. I had to think of something.”
She smiled empathetically at him to wordlessly communicate how adorable their daughter was, but also hoping he’d take the signal to say something nice to her.
Inuyasha still couldn’t contain his blush, but he sighed at Kagome’s hint and reached out his hands to feel at his daughter’s “dog ears”, making Moroha giggle further, a blush returning on her face as well.
“What a silly girl… you already have cute ears, Moroha. But you’re right, they do look like mine.” Inuyasha saw Moroha’s eyes beam with joy at his words and a silent adoration for him, and he cleared his throat and averted his gaze. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but a part of him did feel touched that his daughter wanted to look like the demon part of him to the point she had imitated his ears like this. Not to mention, the ribbon fit Moroha really well too. It only amplified his daughter’s cuteness, even Inuyasha could see that.
  The dog demon peeked over at his wife again to see Kagome giving him a knowing look, as if she knew how touched he felt. He cleared his throat again and shook his head as if it’d rid him of the embarrassment, then lifted Moroha up into his arms again, another squeal from her mouth as he did so.
“Right, my little… “dog eared” girl. How about we go see Miroku and Sango and their kids? They told me they were taking them fishing by the lake today. You might be a little small…” Inuyasha said and lightly tickled Moroha’s belly which resulted in another giggle fit of the small girl, and she grabbed his hand to make him stop and playfully nibbled on it with her fangs.
“… but you like to spend time with Hisui, Kin’u and Gyokuto, don’t you?”
“I do, daddy. We gonna go see them now?” Moroha paused her nibbling at his fingers to ask.
“Well, if you and your mom want to.”
“Sure we do.” Kagome smiled from where she stood and watched as Moroha’s eyes glinted with excitement before she went back to test her fangs on her dad’s hand which finally caused an “Ow!” from Inuyasha and a mock-scolding, a humored smile on his face as he did so that Moroha answered with her own mischievous smile.
    Kagome took in the moment of watching Inuyasha and their daughter embracing and teasing each other, an unspoken and endless love in their eyes for the other, and felt as if her heart would burst. Almost without realizing, she had folded her hands in front of her mouth, her eyes watering at the immense love and gratitude she was feeling at this very moment.   Hands still folded and an almost melancholy feeling hitting her that Kagome tried to ignore, she prayed to whatever God existed that nothing would ever happen to take this happiness away from them.
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amintyworld · 3 years
Text
My Official Dream SMPsona: Flower
(I heard some of you guys wanted to see this, and this was pretty fun to make. Ask box is open, I’d love to talk about her more. I’ll have to work at drawing her later this week, so be on the lookout for that! Anyway, hope you enjoy! - Minty)
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Name: Flower
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Straight Demisexual
Joined: September 22, 2020
Current Cannon Lives: 2/3
Alignment: Neutral Good
Fighting: Only skilled with a bow/crossbow, otherwise is absolutely terrible at PVP.
Look: Short brown hair, dark blue eyes, pale skin, black framed glasses, dark blue sweatshirt with black leggings and blue sneakers. Either wearing a light pink flower crown or a random flower in her hair.
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Quotes:
“I am NOT weak! Don’t you ever DARE call me weak!”
“You know what they say, Tubbo: Tomorrow is always another day, and it’ll probably be a better one.”
“I help because… because… because I want to. I need to. So many people are hurting, and I… I just didn’t want to add to that. If so much bad happened, we need a little good to balance, don’t we?”
“My name is Flower and I speak for the trees!”
“These are my cat babies, hurt them and you die.”
“STOP! Just… just stop, stop it please, I...I dunno what to choose, I don’t… I don’t want to choose, don’t MAKE me choose!”
“You deserve a grave, Ghostbur. Everyone deserves to be remembered, no matter what. It’s not about what they did while they were alive, they were people. They deserve to be remembered as a person. A person who tried.”
“You know Philza Minecraft, you’re pretty cool.”
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Fun Facts / Headcanons:
Extremely Indecisive, especially when it comes to joining a group because she doesn’t want to hurt any of her friends. She always wants to make the right decision, but as the choices turn more grey she can get stressed and put pressure on herself, always worried about doing something wrong that sometimes she’ll go into a full panic attack. This can lead to frustration when she seems to just be helping all of them instead of just choosing one.
Always ready to help and lend materials to others whenever they need.
Has a cat named Rose and another named Lavender, is self-proclaimed ‘Cat-Mom’.
Loves giving gifts to anyone at any time for whatever reason - she loves making others happy, as well as giving others something to remember her by when she’s gone.
Made the land around her house a nature preserve and went to court over the matter when someone chopped down her birch tree.
Has a book full of inspirational quotes that she sometimes uses in conversation.
Is often called “weak” for her PvP skills by Schlatt, Dream, and a few times even Techno, which got under her skin all too quickly, leading her to desperately try to constantly prove them wrong, getting angry and upset when it doesn’t work. This leads to many of them picking on her and pushing her around since she can’t exactly fight back.
Always sees the good in everyone, even some of the darkest villains, which many say is naive. She sees people like Wilbur, Schlatt, Dream - as people hurting and in need of help. Of course, she doesn’t try to excuse what they’ve done, but she doesn’t like when people call them evil or monsters, because to her they’re not. Everyone has good inside of them, they’ve just lost that part of themselves, even ignoring it.
She lives by the golden rule and didn’t like when people celebrated Schlatt’s death or Tommy’s and made no gravestone for Wilbur. Treat people the way you want to be treated - do you want people to celebrate your death, or to never memorialize you or even give you a proper burial?
When her friends and allies turn against her, she’s never mad at them. Just disappointed in what they let themselves become, and holds no ill-will toward any of them.
After the Manburg v Pogtopia War, seeing all the heartbreak, destruction, and hurt that was caused she committed herself to spread a bit of happiness around, to bring it all back to balance and help people recover - planting flowers around New L’manburg, helping Phil settle in as well as helping to rebuild.
She grows closer with Phil and Tubbo during this time - Phil appreciated her kind spirit and help, which he said he’d repay tenfold, and Tubbo liked her support and help to rebuild, especially when he was forced to exile Tommy, she reminded her Dream put them in a tough spot, that there wasn’t much of a choice.
She turned her protected lands into a healing garden and invited any who needed it to visit - she added a bench swing and a small pond.
She once followed Phil to find Techno, and the two panicked, Technoblade almost killing her before Phil stepped in, vouching for her. She promised not to say anything if it would put them more at ease. When questioned by Technoblade on her intentions, her answer was pretty simple: “Look, I don’t really understand why you did what you did. You hurt a lot of people and caused a lot of pain. But I don’t feel like it’s my place to judge you, I don’t know the story and I don’t think it’s my story to know. I’m glad you’re okay, Technoblade.”
When she goes against the Butcher Army, Quackity pushes her around, asking what she thinks she’s going to do against four people with netherite armor and axes. She tries to fight but as always she gets beat up pretty badly. Finally, she just turns to look at Tubbo. “Look at what you’re doing, Tubbo. Please, this isn’t the way.” When they go toward Phil, she steps in front to protect him as the tensions rise and she loses a cannon life by Quackity after he gets so mad at her protests he snaps and gets rid of her.
After he escapes she goes to meet Technoblade in secret, asking for training. She realized that if she was going to do any good, she needed to get stronger. They make a deal for him to train her, but in return, she’ll have to be his eyes in New L’manburg in order to help out Phil. She agrees.
She continues to train as the days pass and eventually she helps Phil escape and get back to the safety of Techno’s house. The training continues when Techno has the time.
When both her teacher and her close friend side with Dream to destroy her home, she tells them that she won’t stop them or betray them, but she needed to protect her home, that her friends needed her. When Technoblade insisted that this was a betrayal, she reminded him that it wasn’t, that for the longest time she supported him and helped him even though she didn’t always agree with him, and now she’s asking that he does the same. She gives them some gapples and a couple of potions. “I’ll see you both on the other side. I’m sorry. Just… be careful, and do what you have to do.”
She moves her stuff just in case, knowing her friends, and cries with the others over the destruction of her home. When Phil finds her after, wanting to talk after his interaction with Ghostbur, she tells him that it isn’t the best time right now, trying to force a smile. “Hey, look - I’m happy for you, Phil. I’m happy that you succeeded, I just need a bit more than a minute, okay? We’ll talk tomorrow.”
She gives both Tubbo and Tommy on the Final Confrontation Day each a cookie and wishes them the best of luck, and was there, willing to risk another life to protect Tommy and Tubbo and stop Dream from causing more hurt and destruction than he already has.
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ask-will-and-nico · 2 years
Note
“None of it is your fault,” Nico says. “And I’m trying to believe that none of it was my fault either. I’m sorry I keep upsetting you.” Will takes a few deep breaths before looking at Nico. “I want you to be able to talk about it with me. It just makes me so angry that he keeps hurting you like this.” Nico hums. “It’s only been a few weeks. My therapist says it’ll get a little easier with time. Maybe I’ll always be angry and hurt, but I won’t always be right in the moment.”
-
“Hey, don’t hurt yourself,” Nico says. “It’s not your fault.” Will sighs. “I know. But I still can’t help but think that if we hadn’t fought that day or if we’d tried harder to make sure he wasn’t there.” He trails off, feeling his fingernails cut into his palms. “I’m not sure if this is the time to say this, but this could be good stuff to talk about with a therapist,” Nico says softly. “Or your mom. I mean, you can talk to me, too. But I’m kind of biased.”
-/-/-
“I think I am too,” Will said. There was a little smile from Nico at that, and Will relaxed his fists. He wasn’t trying to hurt himself, honestly, but he was trying to contain his rage. With his father and himself. “I don’t want to pressure you to go or anything,” Nico said softly. “But it helps. To have someone else to talk to about it.” Will nodded, though he looked conflicted. “It’s getting better, slowly. But I’m worried about what happens if I ever get my memories back. Or if I don’t.”
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bananaofswifts · 4 years
Link
At the outset of the first screening of the documentary “Miss Americana” Thursday night at the Sundance Film Festival, it was clear at the outset that it was not necessarily Taylor Swift’s core audience filling the Eccles Theater for the premiere. The opening scene has Swift trying to write a song at the piano while one of her cats walks across the keys. When that occurs as the film hits theaters next Friday, it’ll draw appreciative screams from the Olivia Benson- and Meredith Grey-loving faithful. Here? Not so much, except for a few younger fans who got into the balcony’s back rows via the standby line. But when the doc starts the take a more political turn about two-thirds of the way through, documenting Swift finding her voice as an outspoken advocate and activist, that’s when the Sundance audience started to sound a little more like her core demo, at least in short, loud bursts of appreciative whoops and hollers. The most critical scene in the film has Swift trying to convince the men in her camp that it’s important that she step up and make an endorsement for the Democrats in Tennessee’s gubernatorial and senatorial elections. When one of them warns that the president could come after her, and she emotionally declares that she’s fine with that, it was if she’d just launched into a surprise version of “All Too Well” in concert. (Donald Trump does eventually respond by saying he likes Swift’s music 25% less since she laid into the White House for working against passage of the Equality Act.) Afterward, Swift and director Lana Wilson came out for a 15-minute Q&A, discussing how they first met through Netflix — which will release the film for streaming day-and-date with its theatrical run Jan. 31 — and how their rapport developed. “We started the process not really knowing if we were going to end up with a documentary — it was just sort of like: Let’s film, let’s see what you see,” Swift said. “And this was completely in her hands. And I really appreciate all the hours we talked. Those interviews — there were a lot of hours that she had to hear me talk about my feelings.” Added the singer, “I think one of the things about you is that for so much of my life in the public eye, when I get sad or upset or humiliated or angry or go through a really horrible time, I feel people lean in with like this hunger. And you never did that to me. And that was what made me feel okay about feeling sadness, anger, humiliation around you, because I felt like when I got sad, you did too. And so it made all of that all right. It didn’t make me feel like, ‘Oh, she feels like she’s got a good part for a movie now.’ And I really want to thank you for that.” Wilson extolled the scene in which Swift explains her imminent political coming-out to her worried family and members of her team. Said the filmmaker, “The scene where you discussed with your team and family that political endorsement, it’s so powerful because of the politics, but also because it’s watching you with the people who love you the most in the world, saying, ‘You know, I love you. You’re looking out for my best interests, but I have to disagree and do things my own way.’ That’s a moment that’s so many of us have experienced in our lives at one point or another, and I thought it was so powerful as this coming of age event, and the profound ending of this multilayered process you went through to lead you into that decision.” Swift explained the dynamics that went into that tense and emotional meeting. “My dad has always just been so terrified about my safety since I was a kid,” she said. “The fact that my job entails standing on a stage and, you know, there’s so many threats we get on a daily basis, but nobody ever knows about. And we try to keep that stuff under wraps as much as possible, but my dad is the one who has to see it. And so for him it was all about, ‘What could happen to you if you say this? Is my daughter in danger? And is this the moment when I should have stopped it from happening?’ “I had been speaking to my mom so much about it, and she went through the trial with me in Denver, which was a really horrible experience to have.” [Swift prevailed in a lawsuit in which she alleged sexual assault, having been groped by a radio DJ at a meet-and-greet.] And I had all the privilege in the world and financial support and the ability to pay for a brilliant lawyer. And I won that trial, but without all that, I don’t know what would have happened. So it taught me so much and, and it was the women in my life who were there every single day going into court. You know,, our political opinions are defined by what happens to us in our life. So that was one of the things that happened to me in my life, and seeing what’s happening in my home state, and then it all culminating and having to have a conversation with people who have been so wonderfully supportive of me through my entire career, feeling so afraid for my safety. And it’s a really real moment for me to watch that back.” Things got lighter with the last question, as the moderator asked: “I want to know where Meredith, Olivia, and Benjamin are at this very moment while the world premiere of your film has been happening.” “Well, they’re right in the back row. Just right up there,” she said, looking to the balcony as the crowd turned its collective necks. This was deadpan. “No, they’re not here. I wish they were, but unfortunately they don’t care about anything that I do. But I love them so much. Detective Olivia Benson and Dr Meredith Gray and Benjamin Button — the loves of my life. Thank you for asking about them. I will tell them. They will not care, but I do.”
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seafleece · 4 years
Text
(a hanahaki au, sort of)
here’s the thing, right, there are illnesses you can only get if you’ve had a different form of them before.
they sit in you, after you deal with them the first time, after you crest that hill. your fever breaks, you get up again, and you take solace in the funny knack bodies have for surviving, for healing.
then, a couple years down the line— a couple decades, if you’re lucky— something happens. you have a bad week, a bad month, and it’s like it never left you.
“beauregard.”
she doesn’t move.
“beauregard.”
doesn’t need to— she’ll open it herself, in a moment or two— just more efficient, really.
“i’m coming in.”
mom opens the door and just stands there for a long moment. she doesn’t turn around, even, just keeps staring at the wall like she’s actually been sulking this whole time. she’s learning how to hold it over her.
“i’m sorry.”
she says nothing.
“do you have anything to say to me?”
the floorboards press down as mom approaches the bed, sits on the edge.
“it’s rude not to look at someone while they’re talking to you, beauregard.”
she starts crying before she turns around, hot silent tears, knows it’ll throw mom off. she’s learning that mom doesn’t prepare for her to actually feel something when she speaks to her— at least, not anything she doesn’t want her to feel.
“i— i said i was sorry, beauregard—“ panic twists on her face, panic and fear. she reaches out and thinks better of it. “but it’s not all my fault. if you’d have just been ready in time, i wouldn’t have to yell. you know i just want you to be ready so you don’t make your father angry, you know that. i don’t want him to be angry at you.”
then why don’t you do anything when he is, she doesn’t say.
(he said he wanted a son. don’t you care?)
“can you say you’re sorry?” mom asks, voice gentle for the first time.
“‘m sorry.” it feels torn from her before it’s fully grown. before she has a chance to feel it.
“there we go. may i have a hug?”
she buries her face in mom’s shirt, tears fast and hot.
this is the worst part, she thinks. because it means they’re done talking about it.
“i knew this was all you would ever do,” thoreau lionett says. “we tried so hard with you, and you still did this to us.”
she stares at him as the crownsguard goes and gets the keys for her manacles. she can feel a bead of blood tracking down her forehead, cool, and soaks in the sensation of it like it has any of the catharsis of crying.
i wanted to travel, she thinks, for you. i wanted to take some bottles from that good year to zadash, where they have the big harvest close market. maybe i’d even make it to rexxentrum. i’m not the one who said no.
didn’t you give up trying, she thinks, when i wasn’t a boy? didn’t you give up before i could even try?
“yeah,” she says instead. “looks like you were right.”
the crownsguard takes her manacles off with the glassy sound of grainy metal on grainy metal. she bends her hands at the wrist one way, and then the other, the crack of joints orphic and loud in the quiet hall.
“get your things,” dad says, almost spits. “we’re going home,” and he says home like the definition doesn’t quite reach all the way to her.
he’s always said it like that, she thinks, like she’s the one who made it that way.
i wanted to make you rich. i wanted to make you proud.
her chest hurts.
“wow, you really let him get to you, huh?”
the sand pit monitor bends down to look her in the eyes, squinting. there’s a smirk curling at the edge of her mouth, like it’s funny.
“no,” she says, because her tone makes it sound like she shouldn’t have.
“kid, he’s gone. it’s just you, now, just you and me. doesn’t matter why you’re here. you have the chance to make something out of it, if you let it go.”
it sounds nice when she says it. like it’s something she could do.
“alright—” and the monitor cracks her neck. blocks her face with her forearms. “let’s go again.”
let go, she thinks, and doesn’t.
she sees her moment coming like it’s brought to her by the gods, sweeps the monitor’s leg and sends her flat on her back in the sand.
she struggles to her feet. “see, there you go. just gotta let go.”
“yup,” beau says, and gives the monitor a hand, and doesn’t tell her that she can taste blood because she bit down on her tongue.
“jeez,” fjord says. “so sensitive,” and she wants to fucking punch him.
he’s still smiling like it doesn’t mean anything, like the sound of it isn’t like teeth in her.
she can feel it in her, the urge to cry. tries to think about making her mind go blank— it doesn’t matter what it is, they always say, your response can always be controlled. it doesn’t matter why you’re upset, because you can choose not to be.
(fjord and jester, they think she’s a monk. she’s a monk, right? did all the training, and stuff, but that’s, like, one of their whole things. how making your mind go blank is supposed to let you see more clearly, how it can heal you, and she’s never felt that, not once. it’s just something wrong with her, right, it’s gotta be?)
then, something funny happens. the lump in her throat, that tickly herald of angry tears, it turns into a rasp, and she starts to cough.
“beau?” jester asks, from up ahead. “you okay?”
she doubles back and rubs her hands together until they glow, round face scrunched with worry, and the itch in her throat subsides, leaving only the ghost of an ache.
“yup,” she says. “just fine, jessie. don’t waste your spells.”
fjord looks worried, too, when she glances over at him, but then jester bumps into her with a shoulder.
“beau,” she says, like it’s obvious. “it wouldn’t be a waste.”
no? she almost says, almost lets it slip that she really isn’t sure it wouldn’t be, and doesn’t.
“i’m sorry, beau.”
“pretty sure i should be sayin’ that to you, jes.”
they’re curled in the belly of the cart together, towards the back. further up, caleb and nott are dozing, totally spent, and fjord’s sharing the driver’s seat with mr. clay, their words blurred together in a low, gravelly buzz.
“it’s not your fault, beau,” jester says, even though tears are sliding down her face sideways, getting lost in her hair and falling into her mouth. “it’s not anyone’s fault.”
“yeah,” she says, and reaches for jester’s hands. “i’m still sorry, though. how come you’re sorry?”
jester looks right in her eyes. “molly loved you a lot.”
“oh—” and her throat winds shut. “you think so?”
“i know so, beau.”
she doesn’t speak for a moment. doesn’t want to speak badly of the dead, but she’s the least afraid of saying it to jester:
“maybe he should’ve said it once or twice.”
jester’s eyebrows scrunch further together— not really a frown, just concern.
“i think he thought you’d see it.”
“yeah,” and she’s crying, too, now. “i wish i did.”
“it’s not your fault you didn’t— he could be pretty mean. people don’t always know how to show it so other people can see it, you know? but he did.”
she doesn’t say anything, just pulls jester’s hands a little closer to herself.
“it’s not your fault you don’t think it’s love when someone’s mean to you, beau.”
“i—”
“i can tell, you know. i wish fjord could. he wouldn’t give you such a hard time if he knew it hurt you like that.”
jester wriggles closer so she can wrap her arms around beau.
“i won’t ever do that, i promise.”
“okay,” she says into the crown of jester’s head, and falls asleep like that.
she has a wicked coughing fit that night, goes and sticks her head outside of the dome to try and keep from waking anyone else up.
she thinks about it, about fjord making the horses go so she has to run to catch up, molly laughing when he’d successfully pissed her off.
that’s love, she thinks, that’s what love looks like. just gotta learn to see it, and then she coughs up blood.
and if jester does that, too, forgets, well, she won’t blame her.
she gets used to it.
maybe it’s because she didn’t have siblings, you know? from what caduceus says, she thinks, that’s just how siblings are. they love each other without saying it. maybe if she’d had one— if her parents had had the son they wanted earlier, when she was still around, maybe she’d get it.
fjord lets up, a little. she hopes jester didn’t talk to him about it— doesn’t want to miss out on any of it— if this is the kind of love fjord wants to give, then she wants to soak it in like flowers in summer, wants to know that it’s all around her, that it’s for her, even if it aches at first. she didn’t get the chance with molly, so she’ll take it now.
he calls her his first mate and she knows she’s doing better.
caleb is easier— she thinks they might be the same way. they can practice with each other. she hauls him up after a nasty fight, while flames are still licking up the grass where bodies have fallen, and thinks of the little boy in the lionett manor, thinks of holding him up, over her head, where mom and dad can’t reach.
(nott, though, is gonna take some time. she still can’t really tell if nott thinks she’s good for anything other than watching out for caleb. and, well, maybe she isn’t, but at least she’ll be damn good at that.)
and jester hasn’t broken her promise, yet. she even tells nott off, calls beau pretty and smiles like it’s easy, like she believes it, like she knows how it makes her feel.
if she’d had to place bets on which would stop, jester wanting to be her roommate or jester talking about fjord, beau never would have bet on herself, but somehow that’s sort of just how it turns out— jester says she loves her, on the deck, in the rain, and asks her about nott and yeza and blushes furiously, and tusk love never comes back out of her haversack. the first time they meet marion lavorre she eyes fjord up and down so fiercely beau wonders just how many messages jester’s sent to her about him, but the second time they visit it almost feels like she turns that gaze on beau.
wishful thinking, she chalks it, shakes off the thought and heads down the hall to jester’s room.
��
she gets sick when they go to kamordah.
she wants mom and dad to be like she remembered— it’d be easy, right, then, to just give up on them. to throw herself the rest of the way into these new people, and learning how to learn how they love her.
mom’s what she expects, at first— she holds it like a shield, dad being awful, like it’s a burden only she’s got to carry, like she doesn’t have another entire person to care for. she’s so surprised they’d even told tj about her that she starts crying when he runs to her.
she plans what she’ll say to mom on their way out— she’ll turn to mom and say that she had better do more to make sure tj’s okay than she had with beau, because maybe she’s not what they wanted, but he is, and they should at least care for the things they wanted.
but then dad goes and says all the shit he never seemed to be able to when she needed it. says he’s proud of her like she’d gone off to school, like it had been her choice. like that’s what she meant to do, to make him proud.
for a moment, she almost wonders if maybe it was.
he says she wouldn’t come home just to see them like it’s funny, like it’s something mutually understood. like she’d chosen to leave— and she only pauses because the way he says it almost, almost reminds her of fjord, saying something that he knows will get to her because it’s a sign that he knows her, and there’s another moment where she wonders, again, if she’s been wrong. if that’s what it was.
but then jester pulls her aside.
she loves jester— don’t tell nott, she’s sunk on her so far the fishhook feels like just another part of her mouth— and she knows jester’s right, but it’s funny, she tells her almost exactly what the cobalt soul used to, and it’s like ice water down her spine.
(beauregard, dairon tells her, i think the soul has taught you that anger is wrong.
isn’t it, though, she says, and ducks both of dairon’s fists, makes you sloppy and all that?
anger can make you sloppy, yes. it can be fleeting, and can lead you astray when you mistake it for strength. but anger is not wrong.
they catch beau’s fists, one in each hand, easy because beau feels the fight, the fire draining out of her.
anger is what you feel, beau, she says. no one can tell you that what you feel is wrong.
beau cries in the makeshift training pit and dairon lets her.)
“yeah,” she says to jester, “okay,” and for the first time in months, feels the urge to cough.
it gets worse all the way to the witch’s hut, this feeling of something growing. like when caduceus casts that funny spell he has and mushrooms sprout in seconds, not days— natural, but unnatural, that’s what it’s like.
she thinks isharnai can see it in her, whatever it is— her eyes from under the snarly curtains of hair glitter like nott’s used to, like she’s seized on something precious.
and, well, whatever’s precious to her can’t be good for beau.
when she thinks jester gave her something in kind, it crawls up almost to her throat and she starts wheezing— she should have done it, she thinks, should’ve protected jester, should’ve protected all of them.
but jester’s so fucking smart, always, and instead she just cries in front of everyone and tastes blood and knows that something is wrong.
jester gets angry with her, and she’s trying to decide whether to say hey, i finally got to see it or are you breaking your promise when she falls backwards.
she wakes up in rosohna, in their bed.
there’s a faint strain of caduceus’s artificial sunlight that almost makes her think she can gauge what time it might be by looking out the window, but then she remembers.
or, rather, she tries to roll out of bed to look out the window, fails miserably, and remembers as she takes ragged, gasping breaths into a pillow that it wouldn’t matter anyway.
she passes out again.
“—just don’t understand why she didn’t tell us she was sick! they said it’s really dangerous, and it was all this time, how could she not tell us? how could she not tell me?”
she wonders if jester’s trying to wake her up by yelling. she can hear tears in her voice, shakes and tries not to open her eyes.
“jester,” caduceus says. “i don’t think she knew.”
“beau.”
she doesn’t move.
“beau? i know you’re awake, i can tell. your breathing’s different. i know by now, you know.”
both of jester’s hands are around one of hers. she doesn’t open her eyes, just squeezes, and jester squeezes back immediately.
jester takes a deep breath. “okay, i— we brought you back to see a doctor here, and they said you have, like, plants in your lungs. caduceus hasn’t even heard of it, that’s how i knew it was bad, but apparently you can get it if—”
a sob tears through her voice and she stops completely. beau can feel her shaking right down to where she’s still holding her hand, and opens her eyes.
jester looks fucking miserable— she doesn’t think she’s seen her cry this much since she scried on yasha, cheeks dark, eyes wild.
“you get it when people don’t love you enough.”
oh.
she opens her mouth— to apologize, for being selfish, for all their love not being enough— but nothing really comes out.
right.
plants.
jester would have cut her off anyway, she lets go of beau’s hand and leans forward, gripping the sheets— “and i told fjord, i told him and nott that they shouldn’t be so mean to you, and i said if yasha doesn’t love you like you love her then she’s stupid and missing out because you’re perfect, beau, really, everyone should love you. i hate that they don’t, i don’t— i wish i could be enough.”
she keeps leaning forward, and beau can see just how long she must have been crying— there are tears beading together under her chin, and soaking into the front and lap of her dress.
“they said it only happens like this if you’ve had it before, and i hate that it must have been your mom and dad, i’m so sorry, i wish i’d just told you they didn’t deserve you instead of that you should forgive them, that’s what i meant, they don’t deserve you and they shouldn’t be allowed to have a kid at all if they did this to you, we’ll go back and get tj as soon as you’re better and he can live with momma and yeza and luc in the chateau—” she finally pauses to breathe, wet things, gasping and desperate. “people should have loved you your whole life, beau. i love you so much, you know, but i shouldn’t be the first one.”
she feels like she could say something, then, opens her mouth and almost immediately spits blood down the length of the bed.
“oh, gods, oh gods, beau, hang on,” and jester runs out of the room, comes back in with a thin metal dish of some kind— “here, it’s gonna be okay,” and she cries and rubs beau’s back while she coughs, blood first, then leaves, petals, until she’s retching entire plants into the basin.
when she’s done, her chest feels empty, hollow like her lungs had been somewhere in there. she smiles at jester, bloody and tired, and falls back against the pillows.
that night, jester carries her into the bathroom down the hall and runs a bath.
(“i know it looks bad, jester,” caduceus says, tilting the basin and peering into it, “but this is actually a very good sign.”)
she knows it’s late because everyone’s in bed— they all ducked in, briefly, to smile watery smiles at the two of them and say they love beau. it’s the first time for some of them but she doesn’t mind— but are asleep now, and the house is quiet except for the faucet and jester humming.
jester pulls a stool right up next to the big clawfoot tub while beau gets in, sinks down and tips her head against the lip.
she watches beau for a minute with big, dark eyes.
“it’s okay if you don’t know why— i know you didn’t even know you had this— but was it because i said i loved you? why all the plants came loose?”
“yeah,” she says, head still tilted back. she feels drowsy, still, heavy and warm, and jester looks hopeful more than anything. “i think so.”
“oh.”
jester looks into her lap for a long moment, purple spreading across her face like wine on fabric. so pretty, always so pretty, beau thinks, and when jester just blushes deeper she realizes she must have said it out loud.
then, she looks up.
“can i kiss you?”
“yeah.”
jester cries a little when she kisses her, shakes like she’s cold, except beau know she doesn’t get cold. after a long moment, she pulls away and swipes at her eyes, strips down to just her smallclothes and climbs in and just holds beau against her.
water gets everywhere, but she doesn’t really think anyone will mind. beau’s knees knock the sides of the tub when she sits up to crawl further into jester’s lap, and they stay there for a long time.
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noona-clock · 4 years
Text
Now or Never - Part 4
Genre: College!AU
Pairing: Jae x You (Female!Reader)
Warnings: Angst, cursing
Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 | Words: 3,328
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“Is everything okay, sweetie?” Jae’s mom asked when you shuffled into the kitchen the next morning. “Jae ran out of here and didn’t even tell us why he was going to pick you up.”
Truth be told, you really wanted your own mom right now, but Jae’s mom was a very agreeable alternative. The way she was looking at you, her eyes filled with concern and her forehead wrinkled, almost made you want to cry. But that also could’ve been because you were emotionally and physically exhausted.
“I just... had a fight with my boyfriend,” you admitted with a shrug as you approached her by the stove. She was already busy cooking breakfast, but she paused to turn around and greet you with a hug.
“Aww, honey,” she murmured, squeezing you and rubbing your back. “It happens. Was it that bad?”
You simply sighed before pulling away and lifting your shoulders into a shrug. You still didn’t really want to talk about it, especially with Jae’s mom. It would just be a little embarrassing to admit to your best friend’s mother that your boyfriend had left you at a party.
“Well, you are welcome to stay here until school starts again,” she told you as she cupped your chin in her hand and shot you a very motherly smile.
“Thank you,” you grinned. “I appreciate it so much. I’m actually really glad I get to see you guys.”
“Yeah, Jae was telling us about your messages,” she replied, turning back to the stove.
“Can I help?” you asked. You stood on your toes to peer over her shoulder, though you could smell the bacon all the way from upstairs.
“Oh! N--no, that’s fine,” Jae’s mom chuckled awkwardly.
She had learned her lesson quickly after letting you help the first time you’d come to visit and overcooked the eggs into a rubbery mass. And then burnt the toast. 
I mean, seriously. How do you burn toast? Everyone knows not to set the toaster on the highest setting for toast.
But, then again, why did you go to Taco Bell so much? Because you were incapable of whipping yourself up a late-night snack, that’s why.
But anyway.
“You just go sit, sweetie, it’ll be ready soon,” Jae’s mom said, shooing you over to the kitchen table.
Just as you sat down in one of the chairs, curling a leg up underneath you, Jae appeared in the doorway with two things: your phone in his hand and a very impressively rumpled head of hair.
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“Wow, someone must have a photoshoot later or something,” you quipped, trying incredibly hard to hold back a sputtering laugh.
“Shut up,” Jae tsked before handing you your phone. “It’s been going off like crazy.”
You smirked at him, and after he headed over to the fridge (reaching up a hand to attempt to smooth down his hair), you shifted your gaze to your phone screen.
...Surprise, surprise.
Messages and calls from Kevin.
You had taken Jae’s advice last night and let him know you were okay, but you hadn’t said anything about where you’d gone. Truthfully, you didn’t feel like he deserved to know. If he had been willing to just leave you at some random person’s house, then obviously, he didn’t care that much about where you were.
...Okay.
Well.
That didn’t seem exactly fair.
Kevin had been angry. You’d done a lot of stupid shit out of anger, too. You’d never left Kevin anywhere, but you also hadn’t found messages on his phone complaining about you.
And besides. He was still your boyfriend. You should at least read what he had to say.
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Jae couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a more perfect day.
His dad and grandparents had joined everyone else in the kitchen not too much longer after he’d arrived and handed you your phone, and all six of you had eaten breakfast together. You and Jae had occupied the barstools at the kitchen counter while the four older adults sat at the table.
You had spent the whole meal catching his parents and grandparents up with your life, and Jae had found himself secretly smiling so many times. It was almost too much for his heart the way you got along so well with his family. And the way they loved you as if you were actually a family member.
Even though he had given up the idea long ago, he still held onto a tiny bit of hope that one day you really would be their family member.
After breakfast, the older adults had proclaimed they were going out and about for the day; Jae’s mom and grandma were going shopping for after-Christmas sales while his dad and grandpa were going to hit up the golf course.
Jae had looked over at you at the exact same time you’d looked over at him.
“Pajamas all day?” you asked.
“Video games all day?” Jae added.
And then you’d both nodded in unison.
For the next Jae didn’t even know how many hours, the two of you had lazed on the couch in your pajamas playing video games, watching movies, eating snack after snack after snack... and you know what the best part was?
You didn’t bring up Kevin once.
You didn’t say his name, you didn’t even mention the fact you had a boyfriend, and you gave not one single hint that you were worried or upset about anything.
Like I said. Jae couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a more perfect day.
When Jae’s mom and grandma got home from shopping later that afternoon, the two of you were both crying laughing about something in your video game. It was one of those situations where you had made some mildly amusing comment but then Jae had added something to make it a little funnier and then you had built on that to make it even funnier, and now here you both were five minutes later with tears streaming down your cheeks.
“What’s so funny, you two?” Jae’s grandma asked, poking her head into the living room.
“Nothing, Grandma,” Jae laughed. “Just -- you had to be here.”
“How was your shopping?” you inquired as you wiped your eyes with the cuff of Jae’s t-shirt.
“We found so many good things!” Jae’s mom called out from the kitchen where she was obviously rustling through the shopping bags. “You should have come with us, Y/N!”
“But then she would’ve missed out on playing video games with me!” Jae retorted with a slight smirk.
“Okay, well, I bet she does that all the time at school,” Jae’s grandma tutted.
“Oh, no,” you assured her, though the false sincerity in your voice wasn’t quite hidden. “We don’t play video games at school, we’re too busy studying.”
Jae pressed his lips together to keep from laughing, and then his mom replied with, “...Uh-huh. I definitely believe that.”
You nudged Jae’s knee with your own, and the two of you giggled under your breath.
“What do you guys want for dinner?” Jae’s mom asked then. “Dad and Grandpa will be home in about an hour. I can hop over to the grocery store if there’s something you’re in the mood for.”
Before Jae had the chance to tell his mom he was super craving some fried chicken, you answered her with, “Oh, I won’t be here for dinner.”
Jae furrowed his brow immediately, pausing the game and frowning over at you. “You’re not?”
“Why not?” Jae’s Grandma asked.
“I, uh -- my boyfriend’s picking me up and taking me back to his place so I can get my stuff.”
...What did you just say?
“Why can’t he bring your stuff here?” Jae asked, feeling his heart start to pound inside his chest. Surely you were coming right back here after getting your stuff... right?
“Well,” you sighed. “We’re heading back to school tomorrow and --”
“You’re going back to school with him?” Jae interrupted in clipped tones.
“We have a lot to talk about,” you explained, though you weren’t quite meeting Jae’s eyes as you spoke. “He’s been messaging me all day, and we really need to talk in person.”
Jae couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
Not only were you leaving Jae’s house after he rescued you from that party last night, but you were leaving with Kevin. And going back to school with him?!
“I should actually get ready,” you murmured, setting down your game controller and pushing yourself off the couch. “He’ll be here soon-ish, I think.”
Obviously, Jae immediately followed you, and once the two of you were out of his mom and grandma’s earshot, he hissed, “You’re kidding me, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought you weren’t talking to him.” Though what he’d really wanted to say was, ‘I thought you were going to break up with him.’
“I wasn’t,” you assured him. “I’m still upset. I just think we need to talk about it in person.”
You turned the corner in the downstairs hallway, holding onto the stair banister as you headed up to Jae’s room.
“You can’t wait until we get back to school? Why do you have to talk to him now? Why do you have to go back to his house?”
Jae was quite convinced these were all very valid questions.
“Because... that’s just what I think I need to do,” you answered with a shrug, a slight hint of annoyance in your voice.
“But why --”
You stopped suddenly, and Jae almost ran into you right there on the stairs.
“Jae, you know I love you,” you snapped.
Oh, boy, this did not sound good.
“And I am so thankful you came and picked me up. I will owe you for the rest of my life for this, but it’s not your relationship. You don’t know Kevin like I do, and I know he left me there at that party, but I also know that he does love me. And I love him. We’ve been together for a year, and in a relationship, you have to talk about things. You have to work through things together.”
You were the absolute last person from whom he wanted to hear relationship advice. Like, the very last person. He’d rather get a love lecture from... I mean, literally anyone else.
“I know you’re my best friend, but it isn’t really your place to butt into my relationship like this.”
There were so many things he could say right now. So many things he wanted to say.
I just want what’s best for you.
I care about you, and I’m just trying to look out for you.
I don’t want you to get hurt.
You deserve so much better than him, why can’t you see that?
If you don’t break up with him, I don’t know how much more I can take.
PLEASE BREAK UP WITH HIM!
But he was scared that if he said any of those things, you would only get upset with him. You would tell him it was none of his business and storm out and not talk to him for a month.
That had never happened before in all three and a half years of your friendship, but it was a possibility!
And also... you were actually right. He was your friend, and unless you asked him to, he really had no right to butt into your relationship with Kevin. It was your life. You were more than capable of making your own choices, even if the choices you made were frequently the wrong ones. You had the right to make your own mistakes -- and, hopefully, learn from them.
So, instead of saying any of the things he wanted to say, he simply backed down a step and murmured, “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry.”
He backed off and let you get ready. He backed off and watched you hug his parents and grandparents goodbye. He backed off and stood there as Kevin’s car pulled into his driveway.
He backed off and let you leave with him.
And it nearly broke his heart into a million pieces to do it because he knew, deep down, this was the last straw.
Kevin had treated you like shit for a year. He had manipulated you into spending Christmas away from your family, and he had literally left you at a party where you’d known absolutely no one.
And you had still gone back to him.
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You were pretty nervous as you got in Kevin’s car, you weren’t going to lie.
His messages had seemed apologetic, but you knew him well enough to be a little wary of seeing him in person.
But, as soon as you sat down in the passenger’s seat, Kevin leaned over and placed a soft, tender kiss on your cheek. He reached out and tucked your hair behind your ear. He said, “Hey, beautiful. I missed you.”
And all of your anxiety melted away. He had a way of doing that. If you were ever nervous that he was going to break up with you or that he would start the fight to end all fights, he had a talent of soothing those nerves with just one kiss or one smile or one “Hey, beautiful. I missed you.”
A tiny smile quirked at your lips, and you looked over to see him already smiling back at you. And he took this opportunity to lean over once again and kiss you for real this time.
“Are you okay?” he murmured in-between kisses.
You hummed positively, nodding a little as you cradled his lips with yours, accepting and returning his kiss.
“Good,” he whispered. “Let’s go home.”
You nodded again, and that was that. He drove back to his house, and the two of you spent the rest of the evening acting like nothing had ever happened.
Don’t get it twisted, though -- you were still going to bring it up because you needed to talk about this. You weren’t going to let your boyfriend get away with deserting you at a party. But the two of you still had to drive all the way back to school together, so why not just enjoy this last night and save the tension for tomorrow?
And, boy, were you glad you did.
The two of you had enjoyed your last night of Winter Break (though there had been some awkward moments with his parents), and then not even ten minutes into your drive back to school, Kevin had said something so utterly ridiculous:
“I was upset at first, but I understand why you would call Jae and stay with him. I don’t like it, but I understand. And I forgive you.”
Your forehead wrinkled in confusion immediately.
“You... forgive me? What are you talking about?” you asked with a soft chuckle. Because surely he was joking.
“I mean, it was a huge slap in the face,” Kevin continued. “You’d been texting him all week when you should have been spending time with me and my family, and then when I tell you it upset me, you go running to him? You spend the night with him? Come on. But I know how long you’ve known him, and you don’t really have any other friends, so I forgive you.”
Hearing his little speech, you honestly felt like the white blinking man meme.
Tumblr media
Like... what?
“I’m sorry,” you scoffed. “You forgive me? Kevin, that is bullshit, and you know it.”
“What?” he chuckled.
“I need to be the one forgiving you!”
“Uhh --” 
But you cut him off before he could say anything else infuriating. “You left me at your friend’s house, Kevin! I knew nobody there, you were my ride, and you just left me!”
“I was going to come back! I did come back, but you were already gone! Didn’t take you long to go running to Jae, huh?”
“Oh, you really expected me to wait for you?”
“I’m your boyfriend!” Kevin cried. “Don’t you trust me?”
“I thought I did, but why would someone I should trust leave me at a party?!”
“Oh, my god, will you just let that go?” he sighed, sounding completely over and done with everything.
What?!
“What?!” you shrieked. “Let that go?! No! I will not let that go! I didn’t know anyone there! Who knows what could have happened to me!”
“Those were my friends! And I came back for you!”
“How was I supposed to know you were going to come back?!”
“Because you’re supposed to trust me!” yelled Kevin.
“That is not a trust situation, that was a mind-reading situation. And I cannot read your mind, Kevin,” you retorted.
You could see Kevin grip the steering wheel, and he took a deep breath before he spat out, “I’m just sick of you running to him at the drop of a hat.”
“What are you talking about?” you asked with a laugh.
“Whenever you have a problem, you always go to him.”
“Well, he’s my --”
“Best friend, I know,” Kevin interrupted testily. “But put yourself in my shoes. Imagine that I had a female best friend. Imagine that I texted her constantly. Imagine that, whenever we got into an argument, I talked to her about it. Imagine that you looked at my phone and saw message after message to her just complaining about how you’re a shitty girlfriend.”
...Well. When he put it that way. But you weren’t ready to admit it to him just yet.
“But if you told me you were just friends, I would believe you! I wouldn’t try to get you to stop talking to her!”
“You say that because the situation isn’t reversed,” Kevin pointed out. “If it were really happening, you might feel differently.”
“I doubt it,” you muttered.
“All I’m saying is, I’m sick of him. I’m sick of competing with him when I am your boyfriend. I should come first.”
“But, see, I don’t think --”
“If you want to stay with me, you’re going to have to choose.”
“What?!”
“You have to choose between me and him.”
“Kevin, you’re being ridiculous! I can’t understand -- I mean, is the reason you don’t like him just because he’s my friend?”
“Does it matter why I don’t like him?”
“It matters to me!” you cried.
“I don’t like him because he’s a bad influence on you!” Kevin answered. “He puts thoughts into your head, he makes you think I’m the bad guy in this relationship when that is clearly not true.”
“Oh, so then I’m the bad guy,” you retorted. “Because if it’s not you then it has to be me.”
“Y/N,” Kevin sighed. “You’re getting off-topic. If you want to be with me, you’re going to have to stop talking to Jae.”
“Stop the car,” you told him.
“I’m sorry?”
“Stop the fucking car,” you repeated. You couldn’t be in here with him for one second longer. You weren’t even halfway back to school, but you didn’t care. You would call an Uber and get back yourself.
Kevin pulled to the side of the road, slowly rolling to a stop. When you opened the door, he called out, “Oh, come on! Don’t be so dramatic! Get back in here -- what are you going to do, walk?”
“If you were so concerned about it, why did you stop?” you pointed out as you reached for your suitcase in the back seat. “If you’re just going to keep telling me what to do for the rest of the way, I don’t want to ride with you.”
Kevin groaned, and you saw him actually roll his eyes. “Fine,” he ground out. “But don’t call me crying, asking me to come back and pick you up.”
“Oh, I won’t, trust me,” you sneered before slamming the door shut.
Kevin sped off, and you had never felt more like screaming and crying in your entire life.
Part 5
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syms-things-5 · 4 years
Text
Clear The Area - Chapter Fifteen (Part One)
Previous Chapter Here
Tags: @jennmurawski13 @kelbabyblue
Warnings: Some mild language
Notes: This is the first of a 3-part chapter. It moves the story along quite a bit (finally) and I am about 80% complete on the second and third parts, too. Shouldn’t be too long ‘til they get posted, fingers crossed. Thanks again for stopping by. Let me know if you have any comments or advice; all greatly appreciated, good and bad!
Chapter Fifteen: Part One
“So, what you’re saying is if I don’t put out a statement, they’re going to roll this all over me? And there is nothing we can do to stop this?” Chris yelled into his phone, his hand coming down hard on the white marble counter in front of him. “What do I even pay you for?!”
“Listen to me, will you?!” Matt was on the end of the line attempting to diffuse his client’s growing anger from 3,000 miles away. “There isn’t anything in this that harms you, OK? I’ve read the copy and honestly, you come across as a really sweet guy. She paints you out to be a lovely person, someone who was helping her come to terms with the end of her marriage.”
Matt was getting no response from the other end of the phone but could picture the look on Chris’ face as it he was standing in front of him. “I know it’s not ideal. It’s not great timing but it could be so much worse. You’re not being painted as a homewrecker. We can absolutely deal with this when it happens, put out a couple of cute pictures of you and your nephews or something and all will be forgotten.”
Chris sighed in exasperation. Or was it desperation? He didn’t even know. “...who the fuck ever writes this trash? None of it is remotely true.”
“I know, I know, we’ve pushed back on a lot of the smaller details, dates and things like that, but I honestly think if we put out this statement it’ll clear up a lot of the ambiguity they’ve left in theirs. They’re just trying to get some clicks, that’s all.”
“It’s not ambiguous, Matt, it’s downright bullshit. I mean, the whole thing about the hotel is not even close to being true. I booked it ‘cos I was feeling unwell and needed a break. She just turned up. I didn’t invite her.” He was losing his cool again and becoming more upset. “And what have they said about my mom?”
“Ummm...” Matt scanned the pages scattered over his desk. He quickly located the offending quotes and just as quickly sugar-coated it to avoid one of his biggest stars passing out from stress. “Just that they’d met and got along. I actually don’t think that’s a problem for us. If anything, it shows you are close to your family and they visit you on set from time to time.”
It had been a long morning and Chris was already feeling like he wad done for the day. No, the entire week. He needed a beer. He needed beers plural and he needed to get wasted for a night and forget everything arising around him again. Better yet, he needed Sarah. She’d know what to say and when she’d finished saying it, she’d help his mind feel quieter again.
Oh fuck. Sarah.
She’ll think he’s a dickhead when she reads this. It almost goes against everything he’d explained to her and his family so far.
“When is it coming out?” Chris asked after a few moments had passed.
“They’re pushing for late August and I actually think that is out best chance. September is a busy time for magazines across the board and everyone will be talking about the big ones, Vogue and Vanity Fair etcetera. There’s no competition.” Matt was talking in a calmer tone mirroring Chris’ own change of pace. “We can slip out a quiet rebuttal and end it before it’s even began.”
“Yeh, yeh, OK. I understand.” Chris took a deep breath wearily and leaned his whole body onto the counter. He ran his free hand down his face and rested it on the beard underneath his chin, tugging slightly on the hairs in a bid to feel something else that would hopefully bring him back into the room.
“You need to trust me, Chris. That’s what you pay me for.” Matt reassured him. They exchanged as polite a goodbye as possible before hanging up. Matt threw himself back onto his desk chair, swinging it around to take in the view of a bustling downtown Los Angeles outside his office window. stuff like this was child’s play for a pro like him but Chris wasn’t a typical client. He was normal for one thing, whatever “normal” meant these days. He’d been representing him for close to nine years, one of his longest relationships now he thought about it, and one that meant a great deal to him.
Professionally, the work helped pay for his mother’s retirement home and his own holiday apartment in Aspen, Colorado, but it ran deeper than that. Chris was also a very good friend. If Chris had stuck to low-budget Indie dramas like he originally planned, Matt wouldn’t have minded even though he had worked with and had experience of dealing with mega-studios like Marvel and stars who actively sought to cover themselves in PR glory any chance they got. That sort of thing was strangely easier to handle but Chris remained quiet and adamant about sticking to his guns when it came to his private life and Matt held a very high respect for that. So, when stuff like this came along, well, Matt knew exactly what to do and was all too happy to hold a light up to the hypocrisy of the Hollywood press machine.
Thousands of miles away in a small kitchen in Boston, Chris remained holding on to the edge of the countertop as he brought his breathing back under control. Lisa, had ventured in and out at times only to fall back when she felt Chris’ bristling, nervous energy. It was rare that he got angry at Matt so something was clearly going on to cause him to lose his cool but she knew now wasn’t the right time to ask him.
“Shall I make us some lunch, sweetheart?” she finally plucked up the courage to take a few steps into her kitchen. She ran her hand lightly across his broad shoulders causing Chris to look up and take stock of his surroundings again.
“Yeh, that’d be nice, thanks.” He pulled a stool out and sat down. “Sorry if you could hear me shouting. It’s just some stuff with work but it’s fine now.” it was sweet that he was trying to make her feel better as though he himself had done something wrong.
“I didn’t hear you so don’t worry. Glad it’s fine now, though. Ham and cheese OK?” she asked, a broad smile now painted across her face that only grew wider when he nodded back at her. “Also, Scott and Shanna were going to cook some dinner later on tonight so we could pop over if you like? Save us cooking here again.”
He would very much like to head over to his sister’s apartment. That way lied harmony and he could relax in calmer surroundings and spend time with the people he loved the most. This press nonsense could wait another day. If it was going to happen regardless of his intervention, why even bother stressing about it in the first place?
It wasn’t much of a surprise to find Shanna’s kitchen a total mess when they arrived later that afternoon. Despite the comforting smell of fried onions and garlic that greeted them from the hallway, the physical view of her kitchen provided an altogether different experience. A stack of unwashed pans and remnants of chopped tomatoes and leeks spread out across the counter surface and what Scott had actually meant when he said he was also going to be helping with the cooking was that he would stir the bolognese for half an hour and check the garlic bread hadn’t burned. Other than that, Shanna appeared to have built some kind of living art installation.
The four were seated around the table, a second bottle of wine down, and gabbing about sport and nothing in particular. Chris’ quietness had not gone completely unnoticed with Scott and his mother sharing a few glances as the evening wore on.
“Is Sarah staying at work for a while, then?” asked Lisa, picking at the final slice of garlic bread after her children had decimated the rest of it.
“Yeh, I think so. It’s been a bit up and down lately after the crash and I know she’s keen to muck in as much as she can now before she goes away.” offered Shanna.
Chris’s ears perked up. “Away? What do you mean?”
“Oh crap.” Shanna banged her hand on her forehead. “Um, OK, this isn’t common knowledge and I didn’t tell you guys this but she’s possibly heading back to college to train to become a doctor.”
“Really?” Scott dropped his fork on his plate causing a loud clang that reverberated around the kitchen. “Well, good for her. She’d be an ace doctor. She looks great in scrubs and I know for a fact she handles drunk people exceptionally well.”
Shanna rolled her eyes at Scott. “She actually has the exam in New York next week and if she passes that, who knows? I can’t really tell if she’s excited or not but her parents don’t know so please don’t mention anything to them...” Shanna looked across the table at her mother whose eyes widened in response to the insinuation.
“If she gets back into college, will she stay here to train or move or what?” asked Chris trying his hardest to keep a rising level of confusion at this new information to a minimum.
Shanna merely shrugged non-committedly and he felt his frustration with his sister boil close to the surface. “I can’t see her moving or if she does then it’d be more of a commute. Like, a couple of days there and here or whatever.”
“She likes living in Boston, doesn’t she? And I imagine it would be harder for her folks to visit if she lived in New York full time.” Scott offered, some logic that Chris was grateful for. “Jocelyn hates busy cities. She would hate New York for sure.”
“Lincoln is a teach hospital, right?” Chris asked, his tone more urgent than he’d intended. “I mean, she could train here? There’d be no problem with that. I’m sure they wouldn’t wanna lose her.”
“Well, selfishly I hope she doesn’t move ‘cos who’s gonna look after your sorry ass?” Scott needled his sister with his elbow and was rewarded with a slap on his shoulder. “Or if she does move full time it means we have a party base in the city again!”
“Oh yeh I’m sure she would love you rocking up at her home at all hours of the goddamn morning.” Lisa remarked. “When is her exam, honey?”
“Thursday. She’s staying at a hotel in town a few days before to swot up on some notes Greg lent her. He rocked up with a frickin’ suitcase the other night. Just books and books of the stuff.”
“What’s he getting out of this?” Chris asked. It was not the first time talk of Greg had ruined his day and now on top of that he was starting to feel distrusting of the interest he appeared to show in her future. He especially didn’t like the knowing look he caught his family give to each other either. “Oh c’mon. He’s not her type, really. She’s said as much herself.”
“Yehhh but he’s super cute and have you seen his car?” Scott asked, pouring another glass of wine for himself. “He reminds me of, fuck, what’s that actor’s name again? The guy from Sons of Anarchy but with darker hair...”
Chris threw him a puzzled look before dismissing his comments with a wave of his hand. “Sarah’s not like that. She’s not into trivial stuff.”
“No, I know, but he’s also stable. I mean, he’s ambitious to a fault, sure, but he knows exactly what he wants and where he’s going.” Scott reasoned. “That could be good for her. I think we can all agree that this stuff with Charlotte left its mark and maybe she’s wanting to try something different? Find a bit of stability? Y’know, settle down a bit or whatever.”
“Since when did you become an expert?” Shanna spoke up. Chris was glad somebody else said it but was less glad when she laughed a second later. She nodded, evidently in agreement with his rationale.
The room fell quiet again as they finished what was left of their dinner. Chris was feeling the dread borne from this morning’s conversations now manifesting itself in the very bottom of his stomach. He regretted coming now. He should have stayed at home and gotten drunk by himself. It would have felt a whole lot nicer than what he was experiencing now.
He swirled what was left of his wine around his glass before downing it and reaching for the bottle. Just as he poured, the front door went and in and walked Sarah surprisingly fresh-faced and smiling upon catching the clan sat peacefully around the kitchen table.
“Hey!” she exclaimed, happy to see them all. She walked over to the hob to smell what was left in the pan before catching sight of them staring at her. “Why are you all looking at me like that?”
“Nothing honey. Ignore them. How was your day?” Lisa started, breaking the silence.
“The usual. I did, however, manage to separate a grown man from a Tonka truck he had glued to his hand.”
“The fuck?” Scott quizzed almost choking on his food and turning around in his chair to face her. “I swear, you have the best job I have ever heard of.”
“Hmm true story. He was making some kind of art display and held on to it for too long. Took us an hour and a tonne of olive oil from the cafeteria to free him.”
Sarah glanced between Scott and his mother laughing before clocking Chris, stony-faced and not quite making eye-contact. She left her eyes on him a little longer than she was usually comfortable with in these settings but he didn’t budge. Shanna eventually grabbed her attention by handing her a bowl of pasta that she gratefully accepted with a “yummy” and grabbed a seat at the table.
Lisa left a little over an hour later but Chris and Scott remained loitering around the kitchen and the lounge. Scott was helping to wash up alongside Sarah when she excused herself to go to the bathroom. When she emerged, she nearly ran full-on into Chris.
“Sorry.” he said, shifting to the side so she could move by him.
“It’s OK.” she moved further out of the way so he could walk in behind her. “Are you OK? You’ve barely said a word all evening.”
He glanced back to her, trying to play down his obvious discomfort. “Yeh, fine. I’ll be out in a minute.”
He closed the door behind him leaving her in the hallway at a loss as to the reason for his agitation. She could hear Shanna and Scott making a mess of what was left of the washing up, the TV volume a little louder now in anticipation for Drag Race, and she retreated into her bedroom to fold away some of her clothes that Shanna had left on her bed from their washing that day.
Chris lingered in the hallway wanting to avoid the loud shrieking now coming from the kitchen before heading towards Sarah’s bedroom. She hadn’t noticed he was there so he allowed himself to watch her, smiling to himself when he heard her hum a tune under her breath. It sounded like ‘Beat It’ only slower. He never figured her as a Michael Jackson fan. Truth be told, he didn’t know all that much about her musical tastes other than making fun of the fact that she cried at a Pixies concert some years earlier.
He viewed the couple of photographs adorning the wall, one of a family gathering, one of her Shanna graduating, before resting on the Steve McCurry print she’d bought at the exhibition. That felt like a lifetime ago now. So much had happened since but he still clearly remembered the shit he had given her at the time. All she was trying to do, he now realised, was get some answers for herself. She wanted to put to bed all of the questions she had had since she was young, questions that might offer answers for who she was as a person. Isn’t that what everyone wants?
He liked Jocelyn and Noah, they all did, they were great people. but she wasn’t a part of them physically. There was something growing somewhere in the back of her mind and as she grew older and wiser, as time moved on, she increasingly felt the differences between them. She had once tried explaining it to him, that it was like a tree and an acorn; no matter what beautiful and wonderful branches and leaves grow from it, it always comes from something small at the very beginning. The acorn directs everything that follows. He couldn’t properly understand it at the time - why would he, he had had an easy life thus far - but as he watched her shuffled around in the closet, humming to herself quietly and in her own little world, he understood that what she longed for, that all anyone ever longer for, was to feel like she belonged somewhere.
He could hear Scott and Shanna joking around in the kitchen, no cares in the world, and knew he had it lucky. Despite the crap this morning still ruminating in the back of his mind, a slight unease at what might find its way into the press over the next few weeks, it was small-fry compared to the real, honest problems normal people experience in their lives. You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe Scott was right. Maybe she just wanted some stability after all, and that realisation was stirring something uncomfortable that he couldn’t name inside him.
“Hey, you OK?” she asked and he realised she had been staring at him for god knows how long. All sorts of thoughts flew through his mind in quick succession but he didn’t immediately know how to respond to such an apparently straight-forward question.
“Yeh,” he responded, clocking how unsure he sounded. “I mean, I’m good. You?”
“Yeh, I’m OK.” She smiled at him and he instantly felt better, waves of stress just ebbing away. He wanted to reach out to her and give her a hug but he knew she wouldn’t feel comfortable with his family so close by and liable to walk in at any moment so he settled instead for smiling warmly back at her and handing over some folded towels from off her bed.
A couple of moments dragged by before she decided to break the awkward silence. “I know I said I would make it up to you but work’s been busier than usual and I’ve had to cover shifts for a couple of guys as well. Michael’s ill so Audrey’s been playing nurse at home.”
He leaned back on the side of her chest of drawers and nodded slowly. He was biting the inside of his cheek and she recognised his face from when he’d shown irritation towards Shanna. He was clearly contemplating something.
“Well, you can make it up to me now if you want?” He offered, arms folded, posing an interesting predicament. He noticed the confusion cross her face and chuckled to himself. “No, not that, not with... I just meant you could do me a favour now. If you wanted to.”
Sarah looked perplexed but Chris didn’t move. He didn’t immediately offer any answer to his question so she didn’t know what he was aiming for.  She left the closet and re-entered her bedroom, taking up a stance a couple of feet in front of him. Even leaning back against her cabinet, he remained a good couple of inches taller than her. 
“Shanna said something earlier and we promised not to bring it up with you ‘cos apparently it’s supposed to be some big secret,” he started, noting the hint of verbal aggression and thinking better of it, “but are you leaving Boston?”
“What?” She asked, stunned. She never anticipated that this was where he was going.
“She said you’re heading back to the college and that you might consider starting up your doctoral training again, and...I don’t know.” He was losing confidence with every passing word. “It just sounded like it was a done deal is all.”
She oscillated between feeling annoyed that Shanna had revealed her plan to re-take her MD exam, and concern that they all assumed she was suddenly wanting to leave town. As if it would be that easy to do so.
“No, I’m not leaving Boston. My God.” she rubbed her hand across her forehead in frustration. “I am taking the exam, yes, but I haven’t figured anything else out beyond that. Honest.”
He didn’t seem altogether convinced of her response but time was passing by and the noise had died down from the kitchen so it looked like it he would just have to accept whatever she was giving him. He had hundreds of questions, many far away from being appropriate, but the sincere look on her face did some of the work for him.
“It was only an idea. I tried it before and maybe, if it works out again, it could be something different for me to focus on.” she continued. Scott has been right about one thing at least.
“If you pass, you could always train at Lincoln, though, right?” he asked quietly. He sounded like a child asking his parents if they were still going to be friends once they divorced and he hated himself for it. 
She shrugged, not having immediate answers that might make him relax a little more. He was clearly struggled with something. “I guess. I mean, I honestly have not thought about it beyond the exam. I have a lot of studying to do as well so I might not even pass it.”
“Yeh, she said Greg gave you some magazines or something.”
“Oh, good, so you’ve got the whole story, then.” Her tone validated the sarcasm behind her words. “Look, this is all so far into the future now and really, who the fuck knows what’s going to happen? But I promise that I will tell you guys everything once I know whatever the fuck it is I am thinking about.”
Selfishly, he wasn’t thinking of his family, or her family, or even her colleagues for that matter. He just wanted to know where she was going to be one month from now. Or, hell, even a year, and whether or not she would be open to him visiting her. Visiting her new apartment in Brooklyn. Or Greenwich. He could imagine her in Greenwich. It was greener and she could go for a run in the park every morning and they could grab a coffee on their way back home. He could walk her to work and wave her off and then spend all day lounging around her apartment reading the newspapers, waiting for her to come home again. One thing he had gotten used to was enjoying his quiet time a lot more when she was around. He wasn’t quite ready to give that up.
“Guys?” shouted Scott from the lounge. “It’s starting!”
“What’s starting?” he asked Sarah.
“Drag Race, I think.” she responded biting her lower lip and knowing exactly how he was going to feel about that.
“Oh fucking hell.” He threw his head back and laughed before resting his eyes back on her. “Alright. Let’s get this over with.”
*
19 notes · View notes
birlcholtz · 4 years
Note
78 for the prompt list? Whatever you're feeling for the ship
78. “You always find a way to surprise me.” from this prompt list!
here is nurseydex with a side of them managing their conflict way back in their frog year instead of having it explode in their junior year with dex constructing a studio apartment in the haus basement oops, this one managed to crack 3k words because once i wrote the first scene i had to keep going, so enjoy!! ao3
.
“You always find a way to surprise me,” Dex snaps. “What is this, pretend to sympathize with the gay kid and then make it all about you?”
Which is a dumb ass conclusion to get from Nursey trying to share feelings and empathize and shit. I told Dex I’m bi for this? “Chill, what the fuck? I was not making it about myself, I was trying to make it clear that I fucking understand how you feel.” And Nursey hates that his voice is starting to get a little louder, a little pitchier, but this is so like Dex, to take the first thing he thinks and run with it, and it’s kind of fucking upsetting because Nursey had just been letting himself think that maybe Dex and his fiery hair and his freckles and his smart mouth and his energy didn’t just fall into Nursey’s orbit in vain, that maybe this stupid crush he had on Dex (and the fiery hair and the freckles and the smart mouth and the energy) could go somewhere, and now, well, Dex has taken that bit of hope and stomped on it.
It’s something he’s very good at. Stomping on hope, that is. Nursey has watched Dex dismantle forwards’ goal-scoring ambitions like it’s as easy as breathing. He’s helped Dex do that, and Dex has helped him in return.
“That you understand how I feel? You have two moms, Nurse. You—” And then Dex blows all the air out of his lungs in one breath and half-turns away, enough that he’s not looking at Nursey, enough that Nursey can barely see his face. “It didn’t really help,” he adds, and Nursey is about to say ‘duh, thanks, Captain Obvious’ when Dex adds, slowly, “Um. But. You made an effort. Thank you? Sorry.”
“Uh?” Nursey manages. Both because of the quick 180 and because he’s never heard Dex sound so tentative in his life. He half-wonders if the Haus is going to fall down around them, because the Haus, like Dex’s general conviction in him being right, is an institution of the Samwell Men’s Hockey Team. If one can fall, so can the other. “You’re welcome?” And it comes out just as tentative from him as it did from Dex. “Sorry it wasn’t helpful. I thought it would be.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty clear,” Dex says, but without bite. “I appreciate you wanting to help, though.”
Okay, this is just too weird. “Sorry, did you wake up today and decide to just be a different person? I mean, I feel like this is an improvement, but if you’re actually just possessed by some sort of weird demon I might have to put a stop to things.”
Dex scrunches his nose up like he can’t decide whether to be angry or amused and says, “Uh, no. Well, kind of. My mom told me to try taking out my anger on the other team, not my own defense partner. Ironic, right?”
Considering that Dex’s mom’s blissfully ignorant questions about girlfriends had sparked Dex’s whole frustration-driven coming out to Nursey that morning, yes. Nursey nods. “But I’m glad you, like, felt like you could come out to me. Even though we fight all the time and shit.”
“Not on the ice, anymore,” Dex points out. Which is true. The first time they’d really clicked on the ice was during a game, with Samwell two points behind and Chowder, in the net, only just having recovered from a minor freak-out after the second period. The other team hadn’t scored at all, Wicks had gotten one goal, Bitty had gotten one, and Jack had gotten two, and Nursey had felt incredibly awkward afterwards as he realized how well he and Dex worked together if they actually, you know, worked together. 
Dex had probably realized that at the same time, because they’d managed to keep fighting during practice to a minimum.
Maybe it was only a matter of time until one of them figured out the same thing applied even when they didn’t have their skates on.
“Not on the ice,” Nursey agrees. “If we both try and fight the other team instead of each other, we probably stand a chance at not fighting at all.”
.
Three months later, Nursey discovers that was bullshit.
Sure, they’re doing better. They’re actually doing so much better that Coach Hall called them into his office to tell them he was proud of their progress, and once Nursey gave Dex a fist bump and pretended not to see Ransom and Holster silently losing their minds over it.
But they still fight. That’s just how things work with Nursey and Dex.
(He’s even getting used to hearing their names said together, as a pair, like RansomandHolster or OllieandWicks. Even if his and Dex’s friendship is much less… well, solid.)
“I can’t believe you actually like the top bunk,” Dex says, taking a bite out of his apple with more force than the situation calls for. “We’re the same height, how do you not hit your head every time you sit up?”
“I’m careful?” Nursey notices he’s not sure exactly when Chowder left the Haus kitchen. He definitely did, though, because all three of them came in together, but whatever, Chowder’s an adult, and Nursey has a debate to win. “Besides, if I have the bottom bunk I always wind up sitting in my bed doing homework and stuff—”
“Which is nice.”
“But then my brain associates being in bed with doing homework and not with sleeping and when I try to sleep I can’t because my brain is like oh, it’s time for… fucking Ovid or some shit.”
“And then you fall asleep because you skated suicides for half an hour and did planks on your breaks and had an entire hockey practice and then went to class for the whole day,” Dex says.
“No, then you stay awake for at least an hour because your brain is rehashing your entire seminar on Roman historians and then for good measure it goes through your entire life and shows you a greatest hits reel of your embarrassing moments, and then you can’t fall asleep because the people across the hall are having a party.” Nursey pauses. “I think I had a point in there somewhere but I got distracted talking about why falling asleep is hard.”
“Bunk beds,” Dex supplies.
“Right. So top bunks are ideal because then I can maintain the separation between work and sleep.”
“Like the separation of church and state.”
“Yes. Also no because that’s completely different.”
“But they are separations. You cannot deny that.”
Which is true. “I cannot.”
And Dex smiles a little at that and takes another bite out of his apple, and Nursey finds himself a little too absorbed in watching as Dex sticks the apple in his mouth and bites down to keep it there, then pulls out his laptop from his backpack and sets it on the kitchen table.
The apple looks dangerously close to falling out of Dex’s mouth, and Nursey stops himself from reaching out to take it before it lands on the floor.
It doesn’t, anyway. Dex gets his laptop open and then keeps eating his apple one-handed as he types something.
Becoming friends with Dex erased Nursey’s distant, unfortunate, aesthetic-driven crush on him, but it was quickly followed by something worse: a real crush. Because underneath the prickly exterior, when Dex is actually making an effort to get to know someone, he’s just… nice to be around. He worries about what other people think of him as much as Nursey does, even if he hides it in a different way. He cheerfully disagrees with Nursey on inane topics, and they get each other into long arguments with the same fervor— passion, Nursey’s brain supplies unsolicited— as the great Attic vs. Roaches debate, if not the same scale. Because it’s just Nursey and Dex, not the whole team. 
He kind of likes it that way.
.
Coming back to campus for pre-season means a couple of things. It means Nursey has to get back on a regular schedule, after doing pretty much nothing besides sleeping, working out, and relaxing. It means he gets on campus before most people, so he can move in in relative peace. And it means he sees his friends. He sees Dex.
It’s been a long summer. Nursey isn’t really sure how he’ll feel when he gets back to campus. At this point, he’s not even really sure what he’s hoping for— the idea of feeling secure in a platonic friendship with Dex and not having to worry about any crush-related feelings is tempting, sure, but Nursey feels like if he gets back to campus and Dex is just another friend, he will have lost something.
Or maybe that’s just the romantic in him talking. Either way, whatever happens happens and Nursey is just going to have to deal.
That mindset lasts all the way until he’s walking to the Haus after unpacking in his dorm room and hears someone yell “Nursey!” from behind him.
He turns around, and there’s Dex, barreling towards him with a lot more freckles and sun-kissed red hair and a t-shirt that is a little more snug than is probably decent and a huge smile, and Nursey has barely registered all of this before Dex catches up and hugs him.
Excuse me?
Even after Dex had come out— and Nursey doesn’t even know how many people on the team he’s out to, it doesn’t seem like many— he still hasn’t been a touchy person. Especially not to Nursey, barring fingers pointed in faces and things like that. And funnily enough, they’d touched each other even less once they stopped fighting all the time. But now…
Now, here they are, and Nursey would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t want to be here.
So he hugs back, and tries to keep his voice calm as he says, “Dex! Hey, man, how are you?” and hopes Dex can’t feel his heart hammering in his chest like if it beats fast enough it’ll convince Dex’s heart to match.
Fuck.
.
The night before Ransom, Holster, and Lardo’s graduation finds Nursey and Dex sitting in the Reading Room and talking options.
They’ve never shared a room before. They’ve shared spaces, and sometimes they both crash in Chowder’s room at the Haus after a kegster, and once Nursey brought Dex leftover pie while he was cramming for a midterm and wound up hanging out in his room for a while. That’s about it.
“If we do a bunk bed, we’ll have a lot more floor space,” Dex says. “And then you can have the top bunk you’ve always dreamed of. Although I’m still not sure I believe you about not falling out.”
“Aw, William, you remembered? I’m touched.” And Nursey tries his best to make sure that comes out sounding funny and not sad or wistful or anything like that.
This is something he’s considered, and then immediately decided to ignore. It will be harder to hide his crush on Dex if they live together. It’s already hard now, after a full year of spending more and more time together. Nursey has never appreciated plaid flannel shirts the way he does now, after mentally cataloguing Dex’s entire collection (he has eight, but don’t let that fool you, he wears the same three over and over and breaks out the other ones for special occasions). Every day he gets a little more worried that Dex will catch him staring and Nursey won’t think of a witty remark in time.
And it’s not just Dex he’s worried about, because Holster has definitely started to give Nursey Looks when he catches Nursey staring at Dex. Someone has clearly caught on to what’s going on, and the only good thing about it is that Holster hasn’t tried to say anything about it to him.
Well. Holster’s graduating, and next year Nursey will have a whole new crop of teammates who will be blissfully in the dark. And isn’t that a terrifying thought.
“I don’t want them to leave,” he says, but he doesn’t explain why.
Thankfully, Dex doesn’t ask. “I was just thinking that. But we’ll cope.” He says it so plainly, like it’s already a foregone conclusion. “Even if Bitty makes us get up at four AM for… what did he call them?”
“Soviet calisthenics.”
“Right. How could I forget?” And he smiles, and even though Nursey is pretending to look vaguely across the street in the direction of the LAX house, he sees it and he immediately wants to smile back.
So he does. What’s the harm?
“But anyway,” Dex says. “The room. I don’t think we can compete with Ollie and Wicks for interior design, Wicks showed me his Pinterest board and I’m pretty sure it was just to intimidate me? But it fucking worked, so. Let’s at least make our room a place we can both live in.”
“What was on the Pinterest board?” What aspects of interior design intimidate Dex, is what Nursey really wants to know, because he always wants to know everything there is to know about Dex. But he’ll settle for this clue instead.
“A chandelier and hand-knitted throw blankets. Also, shiplap.“ 
“I… only have a vague idea of what that is.”
“That’s okay, all you need to know is that it’s very popular on HGTV home makeovers.” Dex scoffs. “Waste of time and money if you ask me.”
And that’s so like Dex that Nursey can’t help but laugh and say, “I can’t believe I didn’t like you our first semester.” When Dex raises his eyebrows, he says, “Like, our opinions clashed and all of that, but you’re just so…” Passionate. There’s that fucking word again. Big nope. “Sure of yourself.” It had pissed Nursey off at the beginning, before he’d realized that most of Dex’s strongly held opinions were either correct or just… totally irrelevant to them being able to get along. Like the fucking bottom bunk thing. Dex is clearly wrong, he just hasn’t accepted it. 
Dex’s voice sounds a little odd when he says, “That doesn’t sound like a ‘but’, that sounds like another reason you didn’t like me.”
“More like… fuck. No, that’s not the right word to use, sorry.” Nursey’s going to have to fucking say ‘passionate’, isn’t he. The universe is against him right now, but he doesn’t know what that weird tone is in Dex’s voice and he doesn’t want to turn and look at him to find out. “Not sure of yourself. You’re just… when you care about something, you really care about it, you know? I admire that. Being… passionate.” Fuck, he said it. Fuck fuck fuck.
Dex’s voice still sounds strange when he says, “I admire you too, you know.”
And that makes Nursey whip around faster than he has ever turned in his life.
Dex is sitting cross legged, wearing his preferred red flannel, looking right at Nursey, and his face is flushing a little but he repeats, “I admire you too. Because you’re really dedicated to, like, growing as a person and shit. You want to be your best self. It makes me want to do that too.”
“…Thanks.”
With that, Nursey resigns himself to the conversation being over, but he hasn’t turned back to stare vaguely in the LAX house’s general direction before Dex says, fingers twisting in the hem of his flannel, “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” Nursey says, and hopes he won’t regret it.
“Is something wrong?”
“Huh?”
Dex stops twisting up the hem of his flannel and laces his fingers together like he’s trying to keep them still. Which he is, Nursey realizes, because fiddling with clothing is one of Dex’s nervous tics. (He has several.) “You haven’t wanted to hang out as much lately. And you seem stressed about something but I don’t know what it would be since our finals are done and our season’s done and everything. You don’t have to tell me the details, but… is there something I can do?”
Well. Nursey regrets this already. But… no better time to say things you might regret than in the middle of the night before leaving for an entire summer, right? Worst case scenario, all he has to do is get through the graduation ceremony, then he’ll be back in New York and he can text Dex sometime in July and say he’s over him. Even if it’s not true.
“Uh, there’s nothing wrong, really, but…” If he’s going to do it, he needs to be all-in. “Sorry about avoiding you, I don’t think I even consciously realized I was doing it? But I just… I’ve been really stressed about getting through next year. Because I’ve had a huge crush on you for like a year and I don’t know what’s going to happen next year if we’re living together and don’t look at me like that, I’ve been coping fine, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, I just… Well, you asked,” Nursey finishes lamely, because he doesn’t know what to say to get that look of shock off Dex’s face. “Sorry.”
He waits for a moment before actually looking at Dex becomes too much, and he gets up to go inside. Coping with commencement and texting Dex he’s over him in July it is.
“Wait,” Dex says, urgency coloring his voice, and Nursey stops almost before he’s got the syllable out of his mouth.
And he turns around, and Dex is standing too, and he says, “There is something I can do.” And before Nursey can ask what, Dex continues, “I’ve been telling myself for months to just let it go away, but… I have had a crush on you for so long—” and then he stops abruptly, and Nursey doesn’t know what to think for a second, and then Dex says, “Sorry, I was going to call you Nursey but then I wasn’t sure if that was the right choice given the context so I just kind of froze?”
“Oh my god,” Nursey says, and that’s as far as he gets before he starts to laugh and also maybe tear up a little because he has been stressing about this ever since that dib flip. “We’re so dumb.”
“Complete idiots,” Dex agrees, and his voice sounds a little shaky, which just makes it match Nursey’s own. “Oh, God, I think I’m going to sit down.” And he sits back down, and Nursey joins him, only a lot closer than the careful two feet he had left between them earlier. “I am so glad I asked.”
“Speaking of asking things, what do we do now?”
“You mean about the room next year, or just in general?”
“Both, I guess.”
Dex contemplates it for a second. “I’m pretty sure we can handle sharing a room. Like, all we have to do is communicate with each other, right?”
“It’s been working pretty well everywhere else in our lives,” Nursey agrees.
“So that’s that for the room. And in general… I guess that just depends on what we want.”
Nursey considers that. “Well, what I want right now is to ask if I can kiss you, and I think the rest can wait until tomorrow.”
“That works for me,” Dex says, and he smiles when he pulls Nursey in for a kiss that feels like it validates every minute Nursey spent pining. He’d do it all again for another chance to throw his arms over Dex’s shoulders and pull him closer, and closer, and closer, until there’s no space between their bodies at all.
Nursey is pretty sure junior year is going to be great.
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333kaylynn · 4 years
Text
beautiful girl - ethan dolan
summary: Y/n was a star student. A 3.79 grade point average and the captain of her cheer team. Her siblings looked up to her and all of her classmates wanted to date her or be her. However, with the popularity and the “fame” came the stress. Y/n tried so hard to keep up but she just wasn’t able to do it. Her stress led her down an unfriendly path of addiction and depression. Ethan, the one person who really cared about her, would do anything to help her get better. He would spend many, too many, days and nights researching every possible option she had to get better until she was back on top. 
a/n: slightly based on the book/movie “Beautiful Boy.” Timothée Chalamet has my heart and I’m barely a chapter into this book so it’s only slightly based because all I’ve really read is the summary on the back of the book. 
a/n pt 2: sorry this took so long to actually post. I’ve been super stressed out and busy this week and honestly, I haven’t had the motivation to write much lately. I’m attending a funeral tomorrow for one of my classmates so everything just seems wack at the moment. 
warnings: mentions of drugs and alcohol, swearing, sex
word count: 1.6k+
tags: @tadadolan​ @brendondolan​ @thisworldwasneverforme​ @dolandolll​ @rachie160​ @dolansdaisy​ @iheartgrayson​ @dolan-rollin @5sos1dandaustin4ever​ @idkbroijustwannadie​ @grxysgxrl​ @simply-ellas-stuff​ @jenn1128​ @marvel-wdw​ @its-bsma​ @buildermangray​ @angelinaa00​ @dolan-bliss​ 
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When y/n was young she had a dream to be an aspiring writer. It’s always been what she’s wanted and everyone knew. In first grade, she wrote her very own picture book called “Princess Kitty.” Her parents thought it was the cutest thing ever and they’ve kept it since then. They’ve supported her then and they still support her now. Since then, she’s been writing at any time possible. She’s wanted all the practice she can get if she wants to get published someday in the future. Nonetheless, y/n also had to keep up her outstanding grade point average whilst also keeping up with the constant stress of being the captain of her high school’s cheer squad. 
It was hard, she’d admit that. She wouldn’t lie and tell you life was perfect, even though on the outside it kind of seemed that way. After all, she was smart, gorgeous, all of the boys were swooning over her, and her family was perfect and oh-so supportive of her. Without her family, to be honest, she would have probably fallen apart long before she did. 
Sooner or later everyone knew deep down that she would spiral downward. Not everything can be perfect and she knew that but she wasn’t expecting it to happen like this. Not all at once. 
At first, it was just the endless nights of getting so stressed she’d scream and then cry because she realized getting angry wasn’t a good idea. Her parents were worried but they figured it was just a short little phase she’d get over soon enough. They were scared they would make it worse if they came to her room and said anything about it. They remember exactly how it starts. They’d walk past her room and hear her muffled sighs and groans. Her bed would hit the wall because she’d jump on it in defeat, causing it to shake and bang against the wall. The sighs were muffled because she would shove her face in her pillow in an attempt to be quiet. It never worked, clearly. After the groaning, she’d get up, try whatever she was doing again, and sometimes it would lead to good results but other times it led to her throwing her books across her room and a loud yelp because she realized what she had done wasn’t such a good idea. She’d start saying sorry to herself as tears slipped down her freckled cheeks. She was so afraid she had scared her siblings or disappointed her parents and she always made sure she was perfect for them. They, her parents, would walk into her room a few minutes after they’d stop hearing the muffled sobs and sit down on the foot of her bed, telling her, “Everything’s gonna be okay, y/n/n.” 
But she never believed them. At least, never fully. I mean, how could she? She constantly felt like the world was against her. Like, why couldn’t someone finally just come to her rescue and save her from this miserable world? 
First, she turned to the parties. She figured maybe alcohol would take her mind off of some of the stress. She didn’t do it often at first but then it just seemed to work so well. She started coming and going to more and more parties, somehow getting more and more wasted as they went on. Until one day, that stopped working. The alcohol just didn’t hit the same. She smoked pot for a little while and that definitely reduced the stress but it didn’t give her the same feeling of euphoria she got once she started using the harder stuff. 
It was February 13th, 2019 when she first tried heroin. She was feeling different that night - before she took it. She felt like she was on top of the world. I mean, she had taken molly previously. Obviously, taking molly right before she decided to snort heroin for the first time wasn’t her greatest decision, but she lived so it’s okay. 
She was at a house party right near her own house. Her parents didn’t suspect a thing, after all, they lived right by a bunch of fraternities and sororities and y/n just told them she was going over to a friend's place to study and she’d be home in the morning. They trusted and loved her so much it wasn’t hard to make them believe it. Plus, it’s not like she hasn’t lied to them before and gotten away with it.
She knows deep down what she’s doing is wrong, that she doesn’t have the right morals, but she can’t seem to stop. It’s an addiction, after all. What exactly are people supposed to expect? Sometimes she feels bad, thinking that she doesn’t have the right to act how she is. She has a perfect life, a good family, a sufficient amount of money, etc. but when it comes down to things, she really does think her stress overpowers all of the good aspects of her life. 
Y/n walked in the house, not knowing exactly whose house it was but with full intentions of getting high on whatever it was she could find. According to her, somebody always had something at one of the parties she was at and she was a great manipulator and would easily get her drugs for free.
 She doesn’t feel proud admitting it, but at these parties she would occasionally sleep with guys, and girls, in exchange for drugs. It’s hard for her to describe the feeling she gets when the heroin finally gets in her system - all she can say is that it gives her a feeling of euphoria and that she feels like she can do anything. Her confidence goes through the roof and she knows she can do anything she sets her mind to. 
Ethan met her at a party that one of his friends dragged him to. He wasn’t much of the party type and if he did go to parties he preferred if they weren’t insanely packed or ones where everyone was on drugs. He remembers the night he met y/n vividly. She came stumbling into the living room and threw herself onto the couch, right next to where Ethan was sitting. In her high state of mind, she started to talk to Ethan - hitting on him, more-so. He thought it was hilarious, laughing at the cute girl in front of him. He hadn’t realized how he’s never really paid attention to her before, he knew all of the guys would die to be him at that moment. However, Ethan loves the fact that he was the one there at the time. 
Since that party, Ethan’s started dragging himself to more and more just for the sole purpose of being able to see her again and again. He hated going to parties but he loved seeing her. They got closer as the time went on and even started hanging out when y/n wasn’t at parties or high. When y/n was sober, she was a completely different person. She was shy and completely reserved at first. She didn’t want to tell Ethan anything but eventually, she started to pour out her feelings onto Ethan. It came flooding out as if someone had broken this invisible wall she had been holding up for far too long. 
Ever since she’s poured out her heart and soul to him, he’s wanted to help her get her life back on track. He knows it’ll be hard but for some reason, he feels as if he owes her that. He spent day after day, night after night, researching how badly the drugs affected her in the long run and how he can help her stop. At first, he just figured if he kept asking her to hang out she wouldn’t do it as much. After all, she never got high when she was alone with Ethan. Sadly, Ethan’s plan didn’t last long. She started changing plans and making excuses so she could go get high instead of hanging out with Ethan. He didn’t know what to do at that point but he knew he would do anything to help her get better, even if that meant she’d get upset with him. He researched plenty of rehabilitation facilities and even mentioned a few of them to her when she did give him the time of day, but she always pushed his ideas off because she never thought she’d be able to overcome her addiction. 
It got too much for Ethan, he couldn’t stand watching her slowly but surely kill herself. She may have looked happy on the outside, but he knew deep down that she was hurting and that she needed help. Fast. He drove to her house and knocked on the door politely. Y/mom’s/n answered the door and let Ethan in and he told her everything. Little did Ethan know, y/n was hiding in the hallway listening to everything, planning just what she’d say. She knows she couldn’t leave because she’d have to walk past them to go to the front door and her dad was in the backyard so the back door wasn’t an option either. 
Her mom and dad decided to send her to the facility for 6 months. They wanted to make sure she would actually recover and get better. Ethan missed her a lot and so did her siblings. Their mom and dad wouldn’t tell the kids what really happened, just that she had to go away for a while. At one point, they might have said she had an extremely important thing to do for school and it could benefit her in the future a lot. They weren’t lying about that though, being able to overcome her drug addiction did benefit her, a ton. And she couldn’t have done it without Ethan. 
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