#and with me being a big sentimental ass I’m understandably over the moon about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hebescus · 3 years

Text

remember this ship ask? yeah, i wanna do them all with lawlight bcs they control my brain. but it's a happy no death note au bcs it's me. oh and this shit is long plus it's 3 am rn so my words are very messy. but enjoy.

(i skip some numbers that i answered and the ones that i can't think of btw)

pre relationship :

How did they first meet?

L's investigation hq. he was a suspect of L, still, but this time he told soichiro to bring this 18 yo boy to the hq to test him, asking light to work with all of them. he ends up not guilty ofc, but L still wants to keep him…around.

What was their first impression of each other?

ah, the good old 'what the fuck dude???' from light and the 'oooh he got a big brain' from L. it's hard to get out of canon in this one.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

L. But it's more like thoughts, rather than feelings. It's just these random thoughts that pop out in his head like 'i don't mind kissing this guy, if he asks' but not like 'i want to kiss him' yknow what i mean? idk this is just something i experience a lot lmao. it develops to feelings once light falls for him and L can see that. So in terms of ideas, it's L, but in terms of feelings, it's Light.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Oh our favorite light denial yagami. Of course he's cursing himself for having feelings like this but once L calls it out he's over.

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Light would laugh it off, and be like "i don't like him that way you know". L would shrugs be like "well yes that's possible, i don't think i mind".

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

boring, lonely, empty, you name it

(more under the cut)

general :

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

hmm, they both initiated the relationship? ykwim? They both notices they had feelings for each other and just...go from there. they never have like a relationship talk, they just go with the flow until at some point they starts to get comfortable to refer the other as partners. They basically can read each other's mind, after all.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

Yes, sort of. A tennis game! And a coffee sesh after, just like canon. They plan this to be just "let's just relax, this case has been really exhausting, take a one day break, L" but when Light got home, sayu asked "how's the date going?!" He immediately said "it's not a date, you watch too many dramas it's rotting your brain" And sachiko gave him a smile while shaking her head at this statement and when he's back to his room he immediately calls L and was like "hey does that count as a date?" and L answers with "depends, do you want it to be?" with a smirk that light can hear.

What was their first kiss like?

it was late at night, light was helping L with the case when everybody went home. they were sharing their view about this certain criminal when light notices L staring at his lips, first he ignored it but it happens again and again to a point where their face just got real close and then...kiss, somehow. idk lmao.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

First person who can understand each other and are equals, the only ones who can tear the other's wall down, and just practically soulmates in any form that even their sun & moon signs mirroring each other's? YES.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

i hc L as just a little bit taller than light, but it's not like you can see it through the hunch anyway. ofc we all know the 6 years and 4 months age gap

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Sayu likes L, Sachiko is kinda surprise Light doesn't date a typical pretty person, but it only makes her heart fonder. L doesn't mind them, he thinks they're nice, light grew up in a good place. Soichiro? Well, he might me a bit reluctant but he loosen up slowly, his son is happier than he ever was, after all.

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Light, obviously. Because he's a charmer and if L takes control, the person they speak to would run immediately the first 2 minutes.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

it is a universal knowledge that L does this. like, come on, count the fics, you can't, there's just so many. he loves to break that perfect wall and make light feel 🥴😳. it's entertaining. But he knows when to stop. too much of that will be embarrassing in light's part, and he respects his boy's dignity.

love :

Who said “I love you” first?

Light!! The thing is it was said over the phone. He gets more and more comfortable talking with L through calls, since every now and then L travel frok countries to countries. One time he just like "yeah, safe flight. love you, bye" he expected L to say goodnight to him as a response as usual but L was silent and he realised what he just said and realised that he fucking mean it. L seems to still be able to read his mind even thousands miles away so he replies with "i love you too, goodnight". they never missed seeing each other more than that night.

What are their primary love languages?

we had a discussion for this! but as we see in canon, they're both very acts of service with a little hint of physical touch here and there. quality time is also important. words and gift aren't really needed for them.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

L. Only to annoy light. It's terrible that he almost cringed to himself, but it does bring a good laugh for light.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

PDA is a not their preference, they just love being in private more. They might hold hands sometimes, butmost times they won't. Altho they always stand or sit reaaaaally glued to each other even though there are so many space.

Who initiates kisses?

both. they want it, they got it. but light gives light kisses (ha) more, not necessarily on the lips, usually when L was really busy working, keeping his feet on the ground.

Who’s the big and little spoon?

They don't spoon a lot, they prefer not touching at all or cufdling face to face, but when they do, Light is the little spoon because being a big spoon makes his sleeping position kinda uncomfy, he feels awkward with his legs, it's just not. thankfully L thinks cuddling light this way is very calming.

What are their favorite things to do together?

Tennis and solving cases, duh. Or sometimes they play video games fighting each other. Anything competitive and/or challenging that make their brain grow 10 times bigger. But sometimes, a comfortingly peaceful and quiet dinner with hushed words thrown here and there about random things feels like the best thing ever.

Who’s more protective?

L. For identity reasons, ofc.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical. They can read each other's mind, they knew it by gesture, touches, and glances.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE. venus by sleeping at last fits them so well, that song is in the background of multiple cozy couch smooches sessions or even when they're slow dancing (please listen to this tho song it's so good). also i think they would like persephone by the tragic thrills too, L would be like "this song reminds me of you" and Light answers with "i'm persephone?" "Yeah" "i'm a fucking badass then" "yes you are". oh and first day of my life? lover of mine? pink in the night? sweet creature? the lakes? oh god i have too much answers

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they don't do nicknames, really. although, L sometimes called light with some snarky tony stark styled nicknames when he feels particularly playful but annoyed at the same time.

Who remembers the little things?

They both do. Big brained assholes they are.

domestic life :

If they get married, who proposes?

It's not really a proposal, they didn't even remember who said it first. But one sleepy night after a hard case, someone said "hey you wanna get married" and the other was like "sure, why not" "really?" "yeah, i think i'm ready, you?" "me too" "great" and then they go to sleep. at breakfast the next morning L called watari from across the room and said "wammy i need you to prepare [enter marriage stuff here], and light, you must call your family after this". poor old watari chokes on his tea.

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

The wedding is in a secluded little place near the wammy's house, L used to go there a lot as a kid. With just light's parents, sayu, and watari. Well, not until Light caught Mello, Matt, Near, and Linda peeping from the bushes

Do they have any pets?

A chunky cat the wammy's kids feed daily but never try to keep them in, because no animals are allowed inside the orphanage. L saw it and was like "light let's bring this bitch home" she is, indeed a little bitch, but light and L loves her dearly. her fur has light brown and black colors, like both of their hairs, so she becomes their daughter, L gave him a weird ass name but i can't think about it rn.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Light because he's the one who's actually bothers to. They ofc annoyed L but he cpuldnt care less to actually get rid of them.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

L. He rarely sleeps and once he did, he wakes up very fucking late and will pull light back to the bed if he's woken up by the empty space beside him.

Who’s the better cook?

Light. L is a spoiled brat. But Light can't bale for shit, that's Watari's job. Light grow up learning and helping his mom making meals for the family. He's not the best, but it's good enough to make L craves them in between his sweets.

Who likes to dance?

None of them. But they would slow dance on rare, sentimental occasions. And it's like so fucking romantic bcs all the lights are off except for a candle or a table lamp or a cabinet lamp whatever that has yellow-y dim light. And they don't speak, they just casually move against each other, but heart ready to combust like i do when i the mental image came into my head.

#lawlight #death note #very fucking self indulgent whoa #brainrot hours #anyway i love them so much #scenarios and shits

28 notes · View notes

laughableillusions · 3 years

Text

Moving Back Home

AN: Oh boy it’s the first mini-fic of Lindir & Farkas that you all haven’t been asking for but I’m giving to you anyway! I pasted this from my notes (in all its raw unedited glory) so if it’s wonky dw about it...

I hope to write more of these 2 in the future if you all enjoy it!

(I encourage you to read this while listening to Lady of the Moon by 2002)

———————————

The night had already settled in, and both Lindir and Farkas had snuggled themselves into their bedrolls. Lindir decided to go without the tent that night, as it was a clear night and neither he nor Farkas could smell rain coming. The opportunity to gaze at the stars calmed the elf, his mind could jump between the small twinkling lights and his eyes slide across the Aurora borealis. He loved Skyrim, he really did. He loved the cold shivering weather, the crunch of snow under his boots, the large trees and delicate flowers. There was something so comforting about it, something he didn’t really see until now.

Back in Summerset it was hard to get such a view of stars as this, the cities were large and full of light. And the heat kept anyone from even thinking about making a campfire, cold weather was rare and treasured. But even then, his friends preferred the heat. Or at least they did...it was still hard to grasp that they were no longer alive. Lindir hadn’t been there, it was hard to really accept a death when you were never there to witness it.

He sighed, it was no good to dwell on the dead. Besides, it was years ago...he had almost forgotten about Summerset Isles. Something in him bloomed in Skyrim, maybe it was his mixed blood. He perhaps was more Nordic than he believed, but he found himself thriving in cold weather. The shivering cold mornings kept his mind alert. The warm blankets and furs he slept in meant something more to him than a decoration, it was to keep him alive. He remembered being a child and begging Aradnae to buy him a bear pelt from a merchant. She refused of course, he was still small and had no use of it at the time. But the interest of an outsider, he didn’t quite understand why they wore the pelts or what they were used for. Now, ruled under a thick layer of one...he very well could.

And Farkas, his beloved Farkas...just the thought of him put the grief out of his mind. He was warm, he was soft and he loved him perhaps more than Lindir could understand. He remembered reading something in a book long ago about love like this, how one could simply hide their face in a lovers chest and shun the world entirely away. If he could...if he could, Lindir would without hesitation. Every time they parted it felt like they weren’t together long enough, sometimes almost unbearably so. But he must...he had to, or else all of Tamriel would fall into ruin, the world would be consumed and there wouldn’t be anymore stars for them to gaze at.

Lindir turned to his side, there he could see the outline of his beloved’s face. There was something so powerful about this bond...it felt bigger than him, bigger than both of them. He had never felt love this strong before, never had such unrelenting feelings of utter devotion and adoration for anyone. It scared him sometimes, it scared him that he would away from the world if it meant to stay beside him.

“I would stand at his back, so that world would never overtake us...”

Never overtake us...

Even after a year and a half of marriage, he was still blushing at that. even though his face was stained with tears and mud, and Farkas practically limped the way back. Those words never left him, they were etched on the stone of his soul. Like the carvings of old Dovah, it was alive...it was pulsing. The memory of that cold night in the courtyard of Jorrvaskyr, it softened him.

“Darling?” Lindir asked softly, scooting himself closer to the Nord.

“Hm?” Farkas half-groaned. He was obviously dozing off.

“I love you...a lot...” Lindir whispered sheepishly.

Farkas now reanimated, and he turned his face to him. His features were still shrouded in the darkness, and he strained to try and look at them.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

Lindir shook his head and sighed.

“Nothing, I’m just feeling sentimental again.”

Farkas scooted closer, now rolling over to face him. Lindir blushed a little by his interest, and he smiled.

“I just...I don’t know, I really love it here.” He said. “It’s all so much better than Summerset, I feel more at home here than anywhere else...”

He then wriggled himself closer to Farkas, trying to get as close to him as possible whilst keeping snug in his little bedroll.

“I know what you mean...” Farkas answered. His voice was raggedy with drowsiness.

“Well I mean, of course you do. You’re a full blood Nord and Skyrim has been your home for generations-“

Lindir cut himself off and shook his head again.

“I-I didnt mean it like that...”

Farkas hummed a little in response.

“It’s just...I was always looked down upon for my Nordic blood. Nords were seen as barbaric and primitive, but coming here to their homeland I felt...I don’t know, safe?”

“Skyrim is in your blood, and not just the people, but the Land as well.” Farkas said.

Lindir felt tears collect in his eyes. He had always felt out of place in Summerset, he always felt like he had to hide himself unless he was performing. He was regarded as a freak, a “halfbreed” as he was sometimes called. In Skyrim however, the Nords would praise his Nordic blood. Said it made him strong and resilient, they lived life they way he wanted to live it. They were impatient and passionate about things. They lived like they would die the next day, and some of them did. But there was kindness, there was love and happiness. Even as harsh as life was it was still beautiful, Skyrim was more than just Land, more than just the people that lived there. It was home...it was belonging.

No wonder people fought so hard for it.

Lindir sniffled.

“Yeah it is...I-I do belong here don’t I?”

Farkas perked up his distress, his arms now wrapping around the elf.

“Yes, yes you do.”

Lindir nestled his head against Farkas’s chest. His voice beginning to shake.

“Thank you...” He almost whispered.

Farkas huffed.

“Now you have to tell me what’s wrong, I don’t want you messing up my only clean shirt.”

Lindir chuckled a bit and wiped the tears from his eyes.

“Ok ok I will, you big oaf.”

Farkas squeezed him a bit in retort. Lindir squirming as he was shoved against him. He let go a bit, letting Lindir have space to talk.

“I just, I never had a proper home before...no place to go back to, no real place. Home was always people, family, but I’ve been through group after group and person after person and well...I never felt like I really belonged.”

Lindir then paused, his cheeks going pink.

“I mean, except with you of course...”

He could feel the blush on the nord when he said it.

“A-and because of that The Companions...I-I mean your family sort of became my family in a sense...”

Lindir felt vulnerable, silly and flustered. It was stupid and he knew it, latching onto someone else’s family because they’re married to them...it felt predatory. But he couldn’t help how much he loved all of them, even when Vilkas was being a smart -ass or Aela being rude. After he married Farkas the responsibility of Harbinger sat heavily on his shoulders, he was responsible for all of them and he did not take that lightly.

Farkas was silent for a moment, he was thinking of a response. Poor man wasn’t very good when it came to words, Lindir didn’t mind it, many times Farkas’s presence was enough to put him at ease. But when Lindir needed counsel, Farkas always tried, and that too was enough.

“They’re not just my family Lindir, you became a part of it when you joined, and you’re still a part of it now, they all love you too. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done.”

“You really think so?” Lindir asked cautiously.

“Yeah...” Farkas was soft but confident in his answer.

Lindir smiled quietly, Farkas never lied. There was something so finalizing about his answer that quelled any suspicion in Lindir. He had done so many things, and was still doing them now. From the Thieves Guild to The Dark Brotherhood now. Not Farkas or the Companions ever wavered in their loyalty and support toward him. Even Kodlak, who he known only a short time accepted him as one of his own.

“Hey Farkas?” Lindir now asked.

“Hm?”

Lindir hesitated for a second.

“I-I want to move back to Jorrvaskyr...”

Farkas pet his hair.

“Mhm...”

The Nord was dozing off again, Lindir could tell. He was as well, all that thinking and talking finally exhausted him enough to sleep. That was alright though, they could talk more about it in the morning.

Lindir snuggled himself against his husband, his home and dozed off to his quiet breathing.

#skyrim fanfiction #skyrim oc #farkas x reader #Farkas #skyrim companions #skyrim followers #skyrim werewolf #tesblr #the elder scrolls #skyrim #tes v #mini fic #tumblr fanfic #unedited

16 notes · View notes

12housescorpio · 5 years

Note

What are your favorite placements of all time, and why?

Oop this might take me awhile to do, sorry anon if this is like a week late. It’s especially hard because most of these placements have the potential to be really good but also really bad. Spoiler alert you’re gonna see a lot of Sagittarius and Aquarius because they’re my favorite signs ahaha. Also you said placements and not aspects so I won’t be including them in this list. And as a final note I will only be talking about the developed versions of these signs, undeveloped will not be mentioned.

*also there is a link to a more in depth explanation on each placement*

Rising Cancer - these people make me smile and my heart warm when I think about them. They’re the sweet old man buying flowers for his wife while she’s in the hospital. They’re the tough biker guy helping a kitten to safety. They really see the world in a kind, nurturing, empathetic way. They always make people feel equal to, and included. They are just genuinely kind hearted.

Rising Sagittarius - rising Sagittarius have the “optimistic nihilism” energy that I fuck with and try to exhibit in my daily life. That big lets go on an escapism adventure that I stan. Big sunglasses finger gunning on a skate board energy. Very “you think I won’t?” Type of people. I love y’all crazy asses. We are the SAME I don’t care what my chart says lol

Rising Aquarius - please marry me because I’m in love with you. The way rising Aquarius sees the world makes my venus in Scorpio melt. I love how unique you see situations and perspectives, the way you’re patient and perceptive. You don’t react, you watch and you add a point of view to the situation that no one throught about. You have a detached yet open way about you that makes me wanna chase y’all asses just so I can figure out what you’re thinking.

sun Sagittarius - I love y’alls optimism, how bubbly you are, how funny and pleasant your energy is to be around. I love how blunt and honest you are.

sun Aquarius - I love your weird way of being, existing. Everything about you is different, quirky, eccentric. And I love that. You’re also so funny and intuitive

moon Gemini - ok here I am.... BACK ON MY GEMINI MOON FANCLUB BULLSHIT. I love the way you think. The way you analyze, and intellectualize your emotions. You feel anxious, but you don’t like to let your emotions get the best of you in social situations. You try to be logical instead of emotional. You’re a fucking super human.

moon Leo - you’re so fun, humorous, preformative. You always make people laugh and feel comfortable and good about themselves. Self deprecating and always willing to help others. Attention seeking in an enjoyable way.

moon Libra - diplomatic, caring, generous, can be push overs but mostly is just self sacrificing. Wants to help people, genuinely loves and cares about others, extremely sentimental, loves memories and moments.

moon Sagittarius - adventurous, playful, goofy, innocent, not really thinking abt how they’re acting, very authentic. Honest with how they’re feeling but also afraid to be a burden. Won’t bring up how they’re feeling but if asked will tell the truth. Can have unhealthy escapism habits. Always down to party. Issues with sex. But I love y’all tho

Moon Capricorn - my babies. So amusing, sarcastic, cynical, but in the most entertaining and adorable way. Because they’re genuinely moral and wonderfully funny people. But they are really hard on themselves and when it comes to “bothering other people” with their emotions, I wish they would let me help them :/ bc they deserve it

moon Aquarius - deep thinkers, dreamers, constantly fantasizing, stuck in their head, always has something profound to say, Philosophical, wants everyone to be happy and get along.

mercury Libra - the BEST at communication hands down. the most honest, caring, diplomatic sign of all time. Good at being perfectly objective and fair, making others play nicely. Kind, understanding, gentle. Always tells people exactly what they’re thinking.

Mercury Sagittarius - doesn’t say anything unless asked, but never lies. And if they do lie it has to do with something else in their chart. Bubbly communication, always gives things to people on a silver platter, it seems like sugar coating but it’s really just giving it to you as optimistically as possible so you don’t think of it negatively. Always the one saying “but-“ followed by the good side of things. Mercury Sagittarius are curious, always asking questions out of genuine curiosity.

Mercury Scorpio - can come across as harsh but they literally aren’t harsh at all. They’re just very “tell it like it is” people, sometimes can be slightly negative but they’re like crows: they warn people. They want to warn others. They’re deep thinkers, constantly thinking about the unknown, solving problems, reading between lies, they’re truth seekers. They’re the same as Sagittarius but Sagittarius wants the light truth, and Scorpio wants the dark truth. Scorpio mercuries are the best hands down this isn’t a debate ok next!

Mercury Aquarius - intuitive, knows what to say and what not to say to people, the best at keeping secrets, never in drama because they know how to stay out of it, smarter than any other placement hands down.

Venus Gemini - wants to talk to the person they have feelings for, wants to explore, communicate, get to know, and gushes over them. Most likely to write a love letter or poems to their s/o

Venus Cancer - cuddly, homey, least likely to cheat imo. Faithful, emotional, you are their everything. They love with the moon, you might not know how much you mean to them and then one day they make you pancakes and kiss your nose and you’re like oh word??????

Venus Scorpio - HI HELLO my time to fucking SHINE we’re the best okay. We love with our soul, gravity, world, body, heart, brain, everything we have to offer. We put EVERYTHING into the relationship, we give the other person everything we possibly can. Our energy, love, physical existence, we would literally die for the people we love. We love intensely and expect the same. Strap in!

Venus Capricorn - hard workers in relationships, wants to see that the other person will put in the work before deciding to invest but then you’re stuck with them once they’ve decided. WILL NOT LEAVE. Will stay until it’s fixed. Practical in love. Giving, always so so giving. Doesn’t want to admit it but loves to spoil.

and no mars placements are really my favorite so imma just skip that bad boy

1K notes · View notes

imfallingdown-icantwakeup · 4 years

Text

Into the Calm and the Quiet

Fishmonger’s Daughter Chapter Three

Word Count: 3557

Taglist:

@chipster-21, @a-banana-for-your-thoughts, @ultracolorfulnerdcollection

No, but I trust you.

The words echo around in his head and he’s beyond grateful that she allowed him to accompany her on Hamish, he didn’t know what he would’ve looked like if he was walking at that exact moment. Many people had said a great many things to him over the years, but trust, trust was so hard for him to come by and she just gave it to him so freely.

I trust you.

Thank the Gods he got onto the damn horse before she had. How embarrassing would that have been to have a hard on pressed right into her ass when those words had poured out of her mouth so smoothly like the purest nectar? Even now, her hair would tickle his neck every once in a great while when the wind would blow a certain way and all that enveloped his senses was roses and honey and suddenly, it was like his dick had a mind of its own like he was a fucking child all over again.

I trust you.

Spheres preserve him. He was fucked. Truly, royally fucked in the ass.

I trust you.

Fuck.

“You’re quiet.” Geralt broke the silence. Was he? Jaskier took a moment before humming a tune under his breath to appease the grouchy man, trying to think of anything, anything other than the slim woman holding onto him before clearing his throat. Words. Geralt spoke words to him, he should be responding, shouldn’t he? Geralt only looked over at the bard before looking back at Elowyn who was tucked up tightly against Jaskier, fast asleep. “You told me of her father. Her brother. Never her.” Jaskier stiffened under Elowyn before looking over his shoulder unexpectedly, concerned, before he realized the obvious. She was still fast asleep beside him and completely oblivious to their interaction. Good. He didn’t want her to take offense where none needed taken.

I trust you.

“We all have chapters we do not read aloud, Geralt.” Jaskier was more than aware of the weary look Geralt gave him but decided to ignore it as he kept his attention forward. One of his hands dropped to where Elowyn’s were wrapped around his torso and he embraced her wrists softly as his thumb brushed against her wrist absentmindedly, lovingly almost, as if to reassure himself that she was there; as if the weight of her on his back, her steady breathing against him wasn’t enough for Jaskier to truly believe she was there.

“Leaving to travel wasn’t an easy decision.” Geralt stated as Jaskier’s grip tightened. No, no it wasn’t. Single handedly, one of the hardest decisions of my life.

No, but I trust you.

I’ll miss you, you little devil.

Goddammit, get a hold of yourself Jaskier.

“I was always to leave. It wasn’t a question of ‘if’. Only ‘when’.” Jaskier lied through his teeth. If Geralt caught the lie, which he did, he didn’t mention it to the bard. The Witcher merely nodded towards Jaskier in understanding before they travelled in blessed silence once again, leaving each other to their thoughts.

Does she ever think of their last day? Under the tree, the moon being their only light in the sky?

No.

Why would she? She had a life to live in a warm home where she wouldn’t have a worry in the world to a man who could never want any but her because that’s what she deserved, and he had a Continent to travel and sing about full of adventure and that was their destiny.

That was their destiny.

Was that his destiny?

Can you smell it?

No, but I trust you.

He could remember her face so clearly, how could he not see just how fucked he was since the beginning? He remembers hugging her tight against him, hurting his arms afterwards as he walked away. Jaskier remembers how his knuckles bled after she ran, he had punched their tree.

I trust you.

He looked down at the skinny silver scar that ran down his middle finger, knuckle to mid-finger, can almost feel the blood rushing out onto the back of his hands at the sight of her running, crying because of him.

Jaskier was just waiting for Elowyn to ask to come along. Why didn’t she ask? Why had he never gone home? Jaskier knew the answer to that. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to walk away a second time, her being latched onto his back only being a small testament to that fact.

I’ll make you famous, little devil.

I trust you.

He had thought of going home many times, but the same scenario had always played out horribly in his mind’s eye and he always talked himself out of the thought before it even began. He usually ended up in some woman’s bed on those nights after drinking too much wine, burying himself in the loveliest of his muses, chasing the smells of roses and honey.

No, but I trust you.

Poor little Ely, they say.

Little Ely, little plain, boring Ely with her dark hair and eyes and light skin. She didn’t have big brown eyes either, although they weren’t small tiny orbs. Just small enough to make a difference to the other girls. The other girls with their fair hair and blue eyes. Eyes like the far seas that tasted of salt. Daddy always said that the sea tasted of salt.

Oh, what poor little Ely wouldn’t do to have blue eyes. Blue like Jaskier. Here she is, crying her eyes red in the boring dark mud that matches her boring dark eyes and her boring dark hair.

“Elowyn? Elowyn, is that you?” Jaskier runs up to me, his long hair tied behind his neck as he crouches beside me. I hide your face in my knees, not wanting to see his angel eyes. I can feel the rage swell in my chest as he nears, not at him per say, but at his kindness. How could an angel like him be with an average, boring girl like me?

“This is none of your business!” I yell, flinching from his kind touch. He sighs as he plops beside me, picking up a stick. He waits for me to stop crying, the cries turning into hiccups before he pokes me softly with the stick. I refuse to look at him still, making him sigh before he scoots closer, placing an arm around my shoulders and bringing me closer to him, my bent frame tucked into his chest in a half-hug.

“I’m only eleven. You’re ten. I can wait for a long time.” Jaskier threatens lightly. A wave of wet anger floods me at his words. How can he wait for a long time when my problem is forever?

“What do you see?” I ask as I look up at him, voice hoarse, cheeks wet and warm from crying. Jaskier takes a breath before answering, taking this time to tuck some hair behind my ear.

“I see… A very… Sad girl…” He says tentatively and I swat at him as I scoot away from him, placing space between us. I needed space to think.

“I’m ordinary. I’m plain, I’m like the fucking air. Brown hair, brown eyes. Who wants what everybody already has?!” I yell as I stand. Jaskier sighs as he shakes his head at me, rising himself to calm me.

“Have you been listening to that Jarsdel girl again? You know she’s- “Jaskier raises his hands in mock surrender as he slowly approaches me, but I lash out anyways, hitting at him. He dodges me easily as he is much taller than me already, taking a step back.

“Right. She’s fucking right Jaskier. No ma-“I cut myself off with a humorless laugh. Jaskier only looks to me with empathy in his eyes as I shake my head at him. I must look a sight. Hair plastered to a sticky red face, a boring sticky red face. Oh, sweet, sweet angel. “Tell me. How many love songs have a maiden with brown eyes?” Silence. Jaskier looks at her in silence as he mulls her question, mind running through every song he knows. He can see the anger flash in her eyes, sparks flaring, and he could see the tiny devils dancing, he could see it all, and spheres he could- he could-

“I could write one.” He offers. He can see the anger tamed as the sentiment of his words register into her young mind. “I could write a song about how demons only light fires in eyes of darkness.” Of how their fires are so addicting, how I could watch the world burn in your eyes. He sees her flush before she wipes at her cheeks, sniffling before nodding.

“I-I guess that can be acceptable.” I mumble as I look at my feet, the redness in my cheeks now there for a completely different reason. Is this what butterflies felt like? Why is my heart pounding this hard? Jaskier just said that he would write a love song about a girl like me, not for-

Thud.

“Shit! Are you okay?” My head falls off a very warm shoulder, whipping my front half forwards. I almost slide off the horse as Jaskier’s hand tightens around my wrists, tugging me back to where I was originally seated.

“Yeah, thanks. Sorry.” I apologize as I place my head back on his shoulder, my nose tucked in towards his neck as I pull the hood of my cloak on. The cold air had turned my nose pink, and his neck radiated warmth. I hummed slightly as the tip of my nose collided with the outline of the skin exposed at the base of his neck lightly, my nose burning at the sensation.

“Truth or dare?” He suddenly asks, his tone rich and deep in front of me. I smile fondly as I thumb the fabric of his shirt between my fingers gently, mulling over my choices.

“Truth.” I eventually answer quietly, eyes closed as my nose is still turned into his neck. I feel the vibrations through his back more than hear them through the air as he chuckles, his long hair at the nape of his neck tickling my nose as he shakes his head.

“Never were a risk taker. Tell me a secret.” My eyes open at his statement, and I still my fingers in his shirt at his words.

“What kind of secret?”

“Any kind.” I would not change a thing about you for all the chaos in the world. Your existence is a paradox, a joy, a contradiction I could spend my life studying and appreciating without ever getting bored. My breath stuttered in my chest as impossible thoughts race though my head. I couldn’t tell him any of that. That could ruin everything.

“I don’t have any secrets.” I boldly reply, false bravado in my voice as I sit straight, placing space between my front and his back. The move was subtle, but I could tell that Jaskier could sense the slight tension it caused. He peers over his shoulder at me with an encouraging smile, so small but bright. How could I say no to an angel such as that?

“Bullshit. That’s a lie, everyone has secrets.” You have haunted my thoughts and dreams since I was a child. I have memorized the slant of your brow, the way breathe when you sing, the sweep of your lashes and the rhythm of your steps. I would know you blind, deaf, numb in this world and any other. Now, now is as good of a time as any. If I could just-just get the words-

“Alright, here’s a secret. I am afraid.”

“Of what exactly? You can’t just say that to someone- “Scrunching his shoulders he turns and pretends to throw hair over his shoulder in a high pitch voice- “‘I’m afraid’”-I laugh at the sight. Who wouldn’t? - “and not provide any supporting details.”

Eternity. Oblivion. Crowded rooms and authority figures and being alone too long and you. I’m terrified of you because you have the power to destroy me and you don’t even know it. You have no idea. I’m less afraid of dying than I am of losing you and that scares me too. He sounds irritated. Should I not? Maybe now, I shouldn’t say anything? Fuck, I’ve waited too long-again-

“Spiders.” The word came out of my mouth before my brain had enough time to think of how his eyes looked mine, of how his breathing may have stuttered just as much my own.

“You’re joking?” Jaskier smiles broadly as he physically turned, and I can feel myself breathe again. Dandelions and lavender. This must be the breath of adventure.

“No, really. It’s the legs, I think. And the eyes. There are eight fucking eyes, Jaskier. Eight.” I ramble, placing my hands on his arms to steady myself. I look around us on the almost-overgrown trail, finally taking in our surroundings, and notice something odd. “Where’s Geralt?”

“Ah. The White Wolf has ridden ahead onto the trail to set up camp.” He explains, turning rigid under my grasp. I smirk at him as he turns, leading Hamish along.

“Truth or dare.”

“Truth.”

“You accused me of not being a risk taker, Bard. Your excuse is?” I ask him, dropping my hand to pinch his stomach while keeping my tone light. Jaskier softens under my touch as he laughs into the air.

“Is that your question?” He asks in return, sneaking a hand down to pinch my knee that was sitting along his thigh. I smack his shoulder lightly, mumbling ‘cheater’ under my breath as I think of a real question to ask him.

“What is a kiss to you?” The question slithers out passed my lips without my mind’s permission.

“A kiss?”

“Yes, a kiss. You know, the ones you sing of in your songs.” I tease, a smile never leaving my face as I giggle at his antics. He could be so dimwitted at times, it amazes me.

“I know what a kiss is, thank you.” Jaskier throws backs, straightening his shoulders in faux embarrassment. We laugh lightly before a calmness surrounds us. “A kiss… I think a kiss is the most pure and raw form of physical contact there could ever be.” I scoff lightly at the vagueness of his answer, rolling my eyes, knowing full well he couldn’t see me in that moment.

“Oh, yes. Yes, of course. How silly of me. Please don’t bother to explain.” I sarcastically mumble into his shoulder, tone light with a smirk on my face.

“If you would just let me finish, you devil woman.” I can feel his chuckle rumble from his chest down through my toes, and I giggle back in delight. Even being this close to him, it was like my skin was vibrating.

“Alright, I’m sorry! Please, continue.” I pat his shoulder lightly as I quiet behind him.

“Sex is intimate, sure, but you can have sex with anyone. A kiss though. A small touch between two pairs of lips as soft as petals can blow your mind. Whether it be short and sweet, or long and intense. And when you find someone that looks at you like you’re more beautiful than a blossoming rose; you’ll never want to feel another’s pressed against your lips ever again.” Jaskier explains, his voice deep. He actually sounds as if he put thought into this answer.

“Must you always sound so lyrical? It’s like everything you say has yet to be sung.” I tease lightheartedly, voice breathless as I imagine kissing his lips.

“I can write great ones, you know.” ‘I could write one’ I hear a young Jaskier echo in the far reaches of my mind and it brings a fond smile to my face. I place my forehead onto his shoulder for a moment and smile into his shoulder, childlike laughter bubbling up at the memory.

“So, I’ve heard.” I puff, his singing drowning out my words.

“The better sex, they often call them” He sings, well attempts. Jaskier brings his arms up as he mentally writes the song in his head, and I laugh at the familiar sight before me.

“Ew, no, Jaskier, that’s God awful.” The laughter never leaves as I comment his word choice, how could he have come up with that?

“Alright, then. Fairer. The fairer sex, they often call them; But her love is as unfair as a crook-” Jaskier’s singing is deeper, tone richer as he sings more confidently this time. This is where he shines. Basking under her warm smile in the cool air on the back of the horse on some trail behind his Witcher, it was the best adventure Jaskier’s been on in years.

“That sounds better.” I compliment, whether it was his words or singing, I’m not sure.

“Of course, it does, I wrote it!” He boasts, chest puffed as his words inflate the air in his head. The ego this man has of himself, one none other to blame than his father, makes me laugh as the familiarity vibrates through my core. Soon the laughter dies into quiet, comfortable silence, the air still large with his ego and light with my happiness.

“Does she have brown eyes?” I ask as we go around a corner, and everything changes.

Silence.

The cold finally sets in as Jaskier goes rigid under my touch, back straightened out and moved forward slightly away from me as we see a horse tied to a tree not far ahead.

“I see Roach.” Jaskier points, and I feel all the happiness drain at the sound of his words.

“Oh.”

Geralt already had two tents set up when we arrived and a small fire going. He was attending his own weapons when we approached, and hardly looked up in acknowledgement when we tied Hamish to the tree accompanying Roach.

“I see you got our tents set up.” Jaskier says enthusiastically as he walks over to the tents, stretching his legs as he grabs his little notebook from his pack.

“No.” Geralt grumbles, tossing Jaskier his own tent. He looks down at the piece of the equipment on the ground as if it personally offended him as the Witcher turns back to Roach, hands on his hips. Jaskier kept his angel gaze on the tent before he turned back to Geralt, lips pursed in disagreement to the Witcher’s reluctance to help.

“As I seem to recall, ‘setting up camp’ meant for everyone.” Jaskier specifies, toeing the tent at his feet. The Witcher only seemed to roll his eyes at the Bard in irritation and continued with his task, unfazed.

“No.”

“Geralt, I’m starting to feel attacked.” Jaskier continues, taking a step towards him. Geralt finally turns towards the Bard with a sigh and another roll of his eyes. Keep doing that, and he will get those feline orbs stuck back there.

“And?” He asks lazily, a smug smirk making its way onto his face. Jaskier goes to argue before I scoff at the two men, gaining their attention before I walk over to grab the damn tent myself from between them.

“Fucking men acting like children.” I mutter under my breath as I walk to the opposite side where the other two were not and pitched my own tent away from the two children so that I may get some peace at some point in the night.

The fire had been burning for some time into the night. Jaskier and Geralt had been sitting by their tents, Jaskier mumbling lyrics into his lute while writing them down while Geralt tended to the warm flames. I sat in silence listening to the soft wildlife around me, the birds and insects buzzing in the overgrown weeds around us.

“A storm breaking on the horizon; Of longing, and heartache and- and- “Jaskier mumbles as he scribbles words in his little leather book, eyes furrowing in frustration. He hums the chord a few times, charcoal forgotten on his knee as he continues strumming lightly on his lute.

The red and orange flames dance lightly around us, enveoloping us in their warmth as Geralt comes to sit by me. We sit in comfortable silence, him drinking from his pouch while I snacked from a dried fruit pouch Jaskier threw my way once the sun started to set.

“He can be quite compelling when he wants to be.” Geralt breaks the silence first with warming words. His tone is as warm as the fire dancing around us, making me nod up at him, smiling politely as I continue watching Jaskier play his instrument.

“Jaskier has always had a way with words.” I agree, basking in the feelings around me. I relish in the warmth of the fire, scooting a bit closer to the warm flames until I can almost feel the warmth scorch the skin of my legs, the sensation grounding me to reality.

“Who is ‘Doxie’?” Geralt asks suddenly, and I feel all the warmth leave. The scorching that was once on my skin fades, the red and orange flames dancing around me still as I look sharply at the silver haired man, Jaskier’s singing long forgotten. I blink at the man in indignation, how dare he-

“Geralt! Listen to this!” Jaskier yells as he jumps over my seated form, sitting himself next to Geralt, ignoring the shared looks between us. He begins singing the same song from earlier, the love song of a girl with maybe brown eyes and I just can’t help but to think that I am fucked.

I am fucked.

I am royally fucked in the ass.

#Jaskier x reader #jaskier imagines #jaskier x oc

23 notes · View notes

thedappleddragon · 4 years

Text

Things about valka in no particular order as I think of them

- despite growing up on a Viking ship she doesn’t curse like a sailor

- She can have the manners of one tho lol

- Her father wants her to take over the fleet but she’s conflicted about leaving behind land and the people she loves (like her mom)

- Both parents are alive and well and love her a lot even if her dad doesn’t show it as much

- Big of heart. Dumb of ass, but only a little bit.

- Generally tries to be kind but can be a bit of a brute just because she doesn’t pick up on social cues too well since she grew up with Vikings

- Very agile n sturdy. Got a good pair of sea legs.

- On the ship she would climb up the mast and sit in the crow’s nest for hours

- She used to be really clumsy, but her dad trained that out of her because you can’t just keep sending lifeboats out to retrieve your dumbass child who fell off the side of the boat aGAIN GODDAMMIT

- Confident in herself

- Higher energy than Osi

- Has probably tried to coax Osi into singing for her because she loves her and doesn’t want her to be ashamed of that part of herself

- If she succeeds in doing that she would immediately be enchanted/drawn in by the siren song lmao

- That would probably scare Osi away from singing even more tho 😔 but for different reasons. Instead of ✨racism✨ now it’s ✨manipulation✨ too

- Doesn’t think things through

- Says whatever she’s thinking, not much of a filter, and that can sometimes lead to hurt feelings

- She’s a very tactile person. If she went to ikea it would be a disaster, you could never stop her from touching all the rugs

- On that note, she likes physical touch a lot too. If she and Osi or any close friend are just hanging out chances are she’ll absentmindedly wrap her tail around your ankle.

- The first time she did this to Osi it probably caused her to trip and fall

- She also wraps her tail around stuff when she’s nervous or there’s a possible danger

- To Osi: I WILL carry you and there’s NOTHING you can do to stop me

- Btw with any interaction with Osi its with her older design (even tho in the campaign I’m using her younger one) because otherwise that’s ✨gross✨

- She’s bing on hand holding. Not like walking together holding hands but like if she and Osi are sitting together she’ll just grab her hand and play with her fingers while paying attention to whatever they’re watching

- Likes when she does the thumb thing on the back of her hand

- Idle hand holding is boring, you gotta do SOMETHING

- Big spoon

- She gets to have hand-eye coordination because I dont and she deserves it

- Can’t spell

- Not easily frightened as an adult

- I’m also blessing her with the ability to watch scary movies and eat spicy food because I have to do SOMETHING to keep her from just being very specific parts of me but tall and buff and a goat

- Have fun reading through these and guessing whats me and what’s some extra flavor >:)

- Would cry over nature documentaries

- Animal planet narrator: but unbeknownst to the mother duck, these are crocodile infested waters, and these ducklings make for an easy meal. Valka, trying very hard not to straight up bawl: NOOO NOT THE BABIESSSS Osi, secretly rooting for the croc: ._.

- Doesn’t hurt bugs but will straight up hunt down a whale. Still feels bad about it tho.

- Knows a lot about constellations and stellar navigation n stuff

- Celebrates a Viking winter holiday where the skies are the clearest and the waters are the calmest and the winds are the most merciful and they thank some moon/ocean/wind god with a big feast and stories about the stars

- When she first gets back on land, she’s disappointed about how much dimmer the stars are

- Sentimental about random objects

- CAN flirt but is kinda cheesy about it

- Likes making Osi flustered, since she’s so tough around everyone else, but she often gets flustered right back lmao

- Valka probably initiates their first kiss

- Osi was being a pussy about it

- Very likely to hear a word, roughly guess what it means through context, start using it, and then find out through someone else that it’s a bad/inappropriate word. She proceeds to slam her head into a wall out of embarrassment

- When she (or her horns) hit her growth spurt, she probably hit her head on EVERYTHING for a solid month and a half

- Big cuddler

- Doesn’t like complete silence, it drives her mad

- Not used to having a ton of attention, since she grew up as a scrappy little kid on a crowded boat. Sometimes struggles with the thought that she’s in the way or an inconvenience.

- Her hands are big and strong and with smoothed-over callouses

- Between her and Osi they have never struggled to open a pickle jar

- Although one or two had to be opened with... unconventional methods (cough cough smash it open on the ground cough)

- Low food standards. Oh the milk expired two days ago? Probably fine. Would definitely be halfway though a can of spaghettios and realize it’s 3 years out of date but eat it anyway (she has a high-ass constitution it’s fine)

- picked up some wierd-ass habits that she thinks are totally mundane and no one knows how to approach her about it.

- Would eat the wax around a baby bell cheese because no one told her otherwise

- She emotes a lot with her ears

- Gullible

- Can speak basic conversational fish speak, picked up from trading with various sea folk

- When she shows this off to Osi she makes a face of disgust at how bad her accent is, but it’s cute that she tries

- when Osi yawns and shows off all her sharp teeth Valka’s big dumb lesbian brain just explodes and stops working

- Snorts when she laughs

- Wakes up first in the morning

- Doesn’t understand pranks

#this is the thing i mentioned earlier #thanks for coming to my ted talk #valka

2 notes · View notes

ghostyprince · 5 years

Text

title: place your hand on mine (untie your mind)

word count: 1.404 rating: G fandom: BuzzF. Uns. relationship: Ryan B./Shane M. summary: Based on this tumblr post: "i bet my hands are bigger than yours dude. i bet they are. no fucking way are your hands bigger than mine. oh, you wanna prove it? go on then. place your hand against mine and we’ll measure them and settle this right now. go on. do it. palm to palm bro let’s go."

author’s note: I wrote this at 10 PM half-asleep because I really needed something cute after having a bad day, so enjoy!

[READ ON AO3]

or read more here

"No way your hands are bigger than mine, dude!" Shane's lips quirked into an amused smile, sometimes he couldn't believe Ryan was so competitive about such small things. They've just finished recording the latest Post Mortem, it was only the two of them left at the Ghoul HQ. Apparently, someone on Instagram really liked Shane's big hands. He often received comments like that and he kept on ignoring them usually, however, this one particularly amused him, so Shane decided to include it in the video. Ryan hadn't looked like it bothered him at the moment, he just laughed and said something about the BuzzFeed mugs being abnormally small. Apparently, now that their recording session ended, he had some strong opinions about it. "Does it matter? I mean your hands aren't small either, even compared to you being pocket-sized." The smile stretched into a grin after Ryan answered with a slightly annoyed huff. "Rich coming from the guy whose head is way too big for his beanpole size." He scoffed but moved on pretty soon.

"Come on, I bet my hands are bigger than yours, that person is so wrong." He held up his palm, open towards Shane, elbow on the table. Shane snorted, leaning back in his chair and taking a few seconds to just eye him, and his held up hand. "Prove it, big guy," Ryan said, pressing the matter further, his tone was challenging. "Why are you so hung up on this? Is this like- Is it an insecurity of yours, or something?" Shane asked eventually, only half-joking. He's not gonna be a dick, if it really was a thing for Ryan, he won't make fun of him about it. Maybe he will, a little bit. "What? No! It's just- I'm curious, okay?" Ryan shrugged, acting like it was no big deal, but Shane saw right through him. He knew that nervous look, saw it every single time they arrived on location while shooting for Supernatural. The shifting of his eyes and anxious twitch of his lips. Why on Earth was Ryan so nervous about Shane's hand size though, was beyond him. "People seem to mention it a lot, so I just don't get it, you know. Are you going to leave me hanging?" Ryan continued, finally meeting his eyes, he was smiling, almost shyly. Almost hopeful, Shane noted. That's what broke his half-hearted protest. "Sure, I'll humor ya. For the record, I still think this means nothing and is dumb, but if it's so important to you..." He pointed out, trailing off, before sliding his hand against Ryan's, who let out a tiny gasp, so faint, Shane would've missed it if he wasn't busy studying Ryan's face. Which was in fact rapidly heating up by the second. What Shanee didn't expect is how he, himself would react. To his hand against Ryan's, and to the reaction he was given. That small gasp and those intense brown eyes twisted up his insides, setting butterflies or bats or whatever they were, wild in his stomach. Their hand being like that wasn't anything new, they did it in an episode before, Shane couldn't even understand how that slipped Ryan's mind. Ryan surely noticed any size differences between their hands before? Maybe he's been too distracted at the time. They held hands during the summoning session too, Shane admittedly thinks about that way more than he probably should. In fact, he thinks about a lot of things he probably shouldn't. How Ryan's lips would feel against his, how he'd rather comb his hand through Ryan's oh so soft looking hair instead of doing this dumb hand size comparing thing. Although, now that their palms were pressed together, Ryan's fingers flexing against his, Shane could feel the warmth of his skin. All of the little callouses on his palm, it took his breath away.

Again, they've done this before, it shouldn't be anything special, and yet it felt so different. Like he was touching Ryan for the first time, after craving to do so for so long. It's not exactly a false statement. Maybe it was the intimacy of it all, the peaceful quiet of the Ghoul HQ, it just being the two of them, time didn't seem real. Not to mention Ryan's eyes never leaving his, once he took the courage to look at Shane. He didn't speak, not even when they must've been sitting there for minutes, just staring at each other, hands touching. From the outside, they must have looked so fucking dumb, two dudes palms pressed together for a reason neither of them seemed to care about anymore. Shane looked at him, the way he allowed himself sometimes when Ryan was busy with editing. Taking note of all the things this literal sunshine of a person knocked his socks off with, as easily as it was nothing. Shane wasn't too much of a sentimental, or romantic person per se. Perhaps, on rare occasions, and lately, when he caught sight of Ryan. He kept it all to himself though, the lovely curve of Ryan's nose, those sharp jawlines, or his pretty brown eyes, that were too tired too often. His hair with little to no product, soft and curly, his toothy smiley, or that laugh he coaxed out of him. Shane could go on, it wasn't even a start on the long long list yet. He kept the thought of kissing those lips bruised, 'til both of them are breathless, the most. He always snapped out of it soon, because reality sunk in because Ryan had never given any indication that he'd like any of that.

Shane tried, he really did. Every single attempt at flirting fell flat, Ryan was incredibly oblivious it seemed. Probably being direct about his feelings would've been the best method, but he didn't intend on ruining one of the closes friendships he ever had. So he tested the waters with small flirty comments here and there. They increasingly got less and less subtle, as Shane's frustration grew upon realizing that Ryan's impossible to flirt with.

Of course, there was always the possibility that Ryan had ignored his flirting so he wouldn't have to turn Shane down, or simply the idea of Shane being anything more than a best friend hadn't even occurred to him. And yet, he still got his hopes up every single time Ryan looked at him that certain way. Sometimes it would show on camera too, and Shane replayed those moments more times he'd ever admit to, heart fluttering at the implications of those looks. (And then he felt ashamed for overanalyzing his friend simply looking at him, just to do it all over again the next time he was given the Look as Shane called it.) What really made Shane's heart want to jump out of his chest is the fact that Ryan was looking at him like that right then and there. Not a short little glance Shane would catch him do, no. Ryan was looking at him like he hung the moon and stars, openly and more filled with fondness Shane ever had the privilege to witness. Shane's fingers moved in their own accord, sliding between Ryan's like they were made to fit there perfectly. The stunning and very much smug grin that slowly formed on Ryan's face melted away all of his doubts for good. He suddenly understood why it was so strangely important to Ryan now. God, he's been set up so bad. Shortly, there was a tug on his hand, Ryan pulling him closer, to meet him in the middle, pressing their lips together. Because Shane was still dumbstruck by the realization. It didn't take too long for him to contribute to the kiss, however, finally, finally pushing one hand through Ryan's hair with such fierceness, it made Ryan laugh against his lips, and Shane also found himself smiling, no, grinning like an absolute fool. Shane hadn't remembered if they ever found out whose hand was bigger, but it's not like it mattered in any way. They would have plenty of time taking note of that, holding hands, or kissing each other's knuckles. Going by how wrecked Ryan looked every time Shane grabbed two perfect handfuls of his ass, or when he casually rested his hand on one of Ryan's thighs Shane didn't think he was too bothered by the fact that his hand was probably a little bigger.

#shyan #skeptic believer #shyan fic #shyan fanfiction #fanfiction #my fanfiction #ao3 #fluff

61 notes · View notes

softspaceboibrian · 5 years

Text

One More Present (Ben Hardy x reader)

Request: Can you write a ben hardy one where its the readers birthday and she celebrates it on the bohrap set and they have a party and ben proposes to the reader? (@kellysimagines )

A/N: I hope you like it!! I tried my best (and got very cheesy at the end lol). let me know what you think! and for everyone else, remember, don't be afraid to send in you requests!!

Warnings: none, just super fluffy and cheesy

Wc: 2312

Being Ben’s girlfriend had definitely its perks, such as being able to visit him whenever he was on the set of one of his new movies, meeting the cast and getting a few sneak peeks. And that was the case with Bohemian Rhapsody. As soon as he found out he was going to be playing none other than Roger Taylor in the new Queen biopic, he called you to let you know. He sounded ecstatic and you were thrilled for him, you were happy he was finally getting some recognition for his talent.

When the “band practice” for the movie started, he never missed the chance to bring her along with him to their usual get-togethers, dinners and so on, wanting her to get to know his new cast mates and secretly wanting to show her off. It goes without saying that you immediately grew close with Lucy and Priya, having girls night in and out. But a friendship that didn’t go unnoticed was the one between Gwilym and you. Ben found more than once the two of you chatting about something too clever for normal people to understand, as Ben and Joe would say. But luckily Ben never got jealous, not of him, at least. He trusted you and the feeling was mutual.

When your birthday came around, Ben thought it would have been nice to throw a little surprise party for you on set. He started organising everything almost a month prior, wanting everything to be perfect. Nothing too big, since he knew you weren’t that fond of surprises, but he wanted to do something special for you, something to celebrate the love of his life. He even went all the way and brought you a few small presents, something to show you how much he loved you.

When the big day finally arrived, you woke up in an extremely good mood. The previous night you had baked some cookies for the cast – and they loved your cookies. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, before sitting up, the smell of freshly made coffee and pancakes hit your nose, bringing a smile to your face. You pulled yourself out of the bed, dragging your feet down the hallway, yawning while walking inside the warm kitchen.

Ben was just placing your plate on the table when he saw you, walking over to you and pulling you into a soft yet firm hug, his lips gently pressed against your forehead. “Good morning, birthday girl” He whispered, his hand reaching for yours and guiding you towards the table, pulling out the chair for you. “How did you sleep?”

“Pretty well, thanks. My boyfriend never fails at keeping me warm” You giggled, holding his hands for a few more seconds, enough for you to place a quick kiss on his knuckles, before letting go.

Breakfast was good, as always. It might not look like it, but Ben was an amazing cook, and you were sure his pancakes were the best of London, if not the whole United Kingdom. After placing all the dishes in the sink, you ran inside the bathroom, wanting to be able to shower before him, so that you could have enough time afterwards to blow dry your hair and get ready. You had talked about it with Ben, telling him how much you wanted to spend your birthday with the cast, with your friends. And Ben was happy to have you there, on set, with him, for a whole day. Suspiciously happy. He had been acting weird for a couple weeks at that point, but you didn’t worry. You thought he was simply stressed out because if this role. Little did you know it was for a totally different reason.

You had decided to put on a nice, black shirt-dress with pink flowers all over it, cinched in with a belt, accentuating your curves. It was your day after all, and you wanted to look at your best. You slipped on your black platform boots and your jeans jacket, before walking into the living room, where Ben was standing, waiting for you, probably texting the boys. As soon as he saw you, his face lit up. He stepped closer to you, his arms finding their way around your waists. “A princess” he whispered, only a few inches away from your face, with that devilish smile of his on his lips. “I’m so luckily to have you”

“Shut up” you giggled, burying your face against his chest, trying to hide the blush on your cheeks. You loved when Ben talked to you like that, telling you how pretty he thought you looked, how luckily he was to have you in his life, and lately he had been doing it more and more often. “We should probably get going” you said, pressing a quick peck on his lips, before starting to walk towards the front door, Frankie tiptoeing right behind you, probably hoping you would take her with you.

“You sure you don’t want to stay here for a little longer? I mean, we could run a little late and say we just got lost doing breakfast or got stuck in traffic” He was right behind you in a heartbeat, hands lingering around your waists, pulling you closer, so that your back was pressed against his chest, his crotch against you ass.

“As much as I would love to do that, I think we should postpone our plans till tonight. Because, babyboy, not even Brian would buy that excuse” You giggled, turning around in his arms and pressing yet another soft peck against his lips, before taking his hand and walking out of your shared apartment, while Ben protested.

You had moved in with Ben a little over a year into the relationship. He had told you how much happier and relaxed whenever he got to fall asleep with you in his arms and wake up the following morning to find you there, still asleep, lightly snoring, your hair a mess. You had protested, saying that you didn’t look good in the mornings, and he replied by saying that you were a vision for sore eyes, even when at “your worse” – which, he reminded you of each morning by peppering your face with gentle kisses.

When you finally arrived on set, you walked to Ben’s trailer, wanting to leave there the cookies and the champagne you had brought to have with the cast during their lunch break. As soon as you reached the set, everyone immediately showered you with birthday wishes. Even Brian and Roger, who Ben had made sure would be there, hugged you and wished you “happy birthday”. And that was more than enough for you. You didn’t need parties, dinners at fancy restaurants, brunches and all that stuff, all you needed was your friends.

“Bunny, you think you could get going and pick up the stuff we brought from the trailer? We’ll be with you at the tables in the lunch room shortly” Ben said in his full on Roger costume, looking as good as ever. He pressed a quick kiss to your forehead, before going back to running a few more lines. You simply agreed, think it would be a smart move and you would also have time to call your parents, check in with them and thanked them for the sweet messages they sent you that morning. So, just like that, you wandered off, greeting a few people on your way to the trailer, thanking them if they wished you a happy birthday, until you finally reached your destination. You did what you had to do and picked the bag with the cookies and the champagne bottle. You were too lost in your thoughts to realise every one was already standing in the break room when you finally walked in. The only thing that brought you back to reality was everyone’s voice screaming in choir “Surprise!”, catching you off guard.

“What is this?” You asked, a bit confused, but with the biggest smile presses on your face.

“It’s for you, silly” Ben walked over to you, pulling you immediately against his chest, enveloping you in a warm hug. “Happy birthday, my love”

You couldn’t actually believe your eyes. Ben had done all of that just for you: he made sure they were going to be eating your favourite food, bought helium balloons of your favourite colour, even asked to have the afternoon off so that he could spend it with you. You didn’t deserve him, you thought to yourself, walking over to where everyone else was standing, thanking them for the surprise.

The lunch went great, you all had fun listening to Brian and Roger telling you about the good old days, about something stupid they did that one time with the band in that one city in the US. When you took out your cookies, everyone cheered; Joe even stole one of the two boxing, telling you he loved them too much and he was going to take them home and eat them that night. Then, it was presents time: you told everyone they didn’t have to, that their friendship was more than enough, but Rami replied by telling you that you needed to be spoiled, at least on your day. Everyone bought you something. Gwil gave you that book you two had been talking about lately, with a cute note inside; Lucy and Rami bought you tickets to the West End musical you wanted to see so badly; Allen and Priya got together and bought you a purse. Joe, wanting to be a bit more sentimental, gave you a beautiful picture frame with a picture you took all together at one of the first dinners that was hosted at Roger’s. Roger and Brian thought it would be nice to give you something of their own: Roger gave you an old fur coat he used to wear in the 70s and Brian one of his old jackets that had thought of lending to Gwil for the movie, but that didn’t make the cut. Last but not least, it was Ben’s turn. You looked at him, your head slightly tilted to the side “Is everything okay?” He looked nervous.

“Yes, I just hope you like my presents” he smiled, before handing you the slightly bigger of the two velvet blue boxes he was holding in his hands. You smiled, gently opening the box: inside there was a small necklace, with your favourite stone and an engraved pendant that said “like the sun loves the moon”. Your eyes immediately became glossy at the memory of the first time he told you that phrase. It was the time he told you he wanted something more serious with you, he wanted to go public, he wanted you to move in. “Because I love you. I love you like the sun loves the moon, that dies every night just to let her breath”.

“That’s cheesy” commented Joe, after you quickly explained what that phrase stood for.

“ Let them be, Mazzello. You’re just jealous” Lucy laughed, winking in your direction.

“That’s possible” he said, looking at Ben. They exchanged a few silent words, a quiet conversation that ended with Ben nodding his head, before turning it once again in your direction.

“There’s one more present” he said, giving you a soft smile, before handing you the other blue velvet box. You took it from his hands, feeling everyone’s gaze on you. You didn’t know why, but you started to feel nervous. You looked down at the box in your hand, opening it slowly. As soon as you saw what was inside, your heart skipped several beats: it was a beautiful ring, with a stone that matched the necklace. You turned around to thank Ben and you found him there, knelt down on one knee, with glossy eyes and his beautiful smile. “I wanted to do this since the day I met you. That was my plan all along. You know, like Jim from The Office, marrying you a long, long time ago, pretty much the day I met you” you could help but let out a watery chuckle, gently placing your hand on his cheek. “But then I decided to wait, to see where this would take us and, now, look at us. If I’m living my dream it’s because of you and all the times you told me to keep going, to keep working for it. So thank you” At that point you knelt down on your knees before him, your thumb gently stroking his cheek. “I want to have what we have for the rest of our lives. I want to wake up next to you, I want to fall asleep on the couch and having to pick you up bridal style to take you to bed, so that you don’t wake up. I want to surprise you with your favourite flowers and fight with you over who had to wash the dishes. I want to grow old with you and have a family, a real family. I want to be the father of your children. I want to take care of you till our dying days.” Tears were streaming uncontrollably down your face. You couldn’t believe it was actually going to happen. “Marry me. Marry me and make me the happiest man alive.”

You didn’t reply, you simply nodded and pushed yourself on his lips, needing to feel him close to you, in that moment more than ever. You could feel everyone around you cheer, applause, even whistle. When you eventually pulled away, he looked at you, his thumb gently brushing away the tears from your cheeks, before taking your hand and whispering a soft “Shall I?”. Next thing you know, the ring was on your finger and you were the soon-to-be Mrs Hardy.

Best birthday ever.

#ben hardy #Ben hardy x reader #send in your requests #send in requests

95 notes · View notes

formlesscopycat · 5 years

Text

Meet Me at the Red Bridge

A Kuroko no Basuke fanfic.

Pairing: Aomine x Kise

Summary: Kuroko Tetsuya means well, he really does. So he takes matters into his own hands and goes into a mission to get his dumb friends, Aomine and Kise, together.

Read on AO3

He’s already fifteen minutes late to their meeting but Daiki doesn’t give a fuck, after all, it’s just his best friends, Tetsu and Satsuki, asking him to hang out with them on their stupid Valentine’s date.

He’s got nothing better to do than mope at home tonight, and honestly, Tetsu and Satsuki are infinitely more tolerable than watching his folks get lovey-dovey with each other. At least with his friends, they just hold hands and blush a lot like fuck, it only makes Daiki gag just a little bit. Add to it the ultimate deal breaker, Tetsu and Satsuki promised him free food, all the burgers and milkshakes that his appetite can hold, no holds barred, all Daiki gets to do is to show up on time.

Tetsu said they’ll wait for Daiki by the arched wooden red bridge overlooking the river, the one they always passed by on their way to and from Teiko.

5pm, sharp! Satsuki had reiterated. But to hell with punctuality, Tetsu and Satsuki should’ve accepted the fact that he, Aomine Daiki, Teiko Ace and future NBA star, had no sense of urgency in his bones.

Past the clearing, Daiki approaches the red bridge with careless, unhurried steps and braces himself for Satsuki’s inevitable tantrum. But instead of teal and pink heads, a splash of gold breaks into Daiki’s vision, the smoothest, softest-looking blond locks he’ll never mistake for anybody else no matter the distance. The other teen has kept his back turned towards Daiki, his lean, athletic frame half-bent against the red-painted railing, seemingly too engrossed with the rushing waters under the bridge that he fails to sense Daiki’s presence drawing near.

“Kise?”

There’s also an obvious mark of astonishment on the blond’s face, that of which on an equal level with Daiki’s, as soon as Kise pivots to face the Teiko Ace. For a moment, Daiki gets lost in his thoughts as he takes in Kise’s appearance, and he wonders how the hell Kise pulls off a look like that, casual yet quite dashing in camel-colored trench coat, layered over a knitted-gray turtleneck and dark skinny jeans.

“A-Aominecchi?” Kise stammers, his amber eyes blown wide like saucers.

“What are you doing here?” Daiki and Kise both ask at the same time. Daiki reflexively looks away out of embarrassment, and from the corners of his eyes, he’d noticed Kise do the same, almost furtively, and Daiki feels his cheeks heat up despite the February chill hanging in the air.

Predictably, it’s Kise who speaks first.

“I’m waiting for Kurokocchi, said he needs to tell me something important.” Kise clears his throat before adding, “I didn’t know you’re coming, too.”

Daiki likes to think that he didn’t just imagine the blush that briefly colored Kise’s cheeks just now.

But still, there’s something quite puzzling in their situation that Daiki can’t put a finger on.

“Huh? But I’m supposed to meet him and Satsuki, no mention of you, either!” Aomine exclaims.

“What?” Kise gets caught up in the confusion, as well. “Wait, you’re like, third-wheeling with Kurokocchi and Momoicchi?”

“Only for free food, yeah.”

“Aominecchi, it’s Valentine’s Day!”

“So?”

“So you ought to give the love birds some privacy!”

“This wasn’t my idea, Tetsu insisted that I tag along! And where the hell are those idiots, anyway?”

“Weird… ain’t likely for Kurokocchi and Momoicchi to run late like this.” With his thumb stroking his chin, Kise looks upwards into the afternoon skies already bathed in purples and oranges.

Daiki nods. Satsuki, at least, should’ve been here already. She hates being late. Daiki squints his eyes and searches around for Tetsu, but there are no traces of the Phantom Sixth Man anywhere. And how come nobody said that Kise’s coming along, too? It’s not likely that they’d just forget to mention this.

Clicking his tongue in annoyance, Daiki pulls out his phone from his jacket pocket and immediately dials Tetsu’s number. After six rings, Tetsu finally picks up the call.

“Tetsu, where the hell are you and Satsuki?!” Aomine jabbers on the phone.

“Are you with Kise-kun?” Tetsu asks in his usual calm monotone.

“Yes, he’s here! Why didn’t you say he’s coming?”

“Put me on loudspeaker, Aomine-kun. I’d like to speak with you both.”

Still utterly clueless about what Tetsu could be up to, Daiki catches Kise’s eyes first, the latter meeting his gaze with an equally baffled look, before he taps the loudspeaker icon on his phone.

“Kurokocchi, where are you, is everything alright?” Kise inquires worriedly, sliding closer to Daiki as he holds out his phone.

“Listen,” Tetsu’s voice cackles through the phone’s speaker. “You two are huge dumbasses so I decided to make things easier for you both. I’m so fed up with the two of you mooning over each other all the time and not doing anything about it. Aomine-kun, you’re crushing hard on Kise-kun since the first time you saw him, aren’t you? You always like to poke fun at Kise-kun if just to hold his attention all the time. And don’t you dare deny, you secretly collect his photobooks, I knew because I saw the stash under your bed when the Miracles had a sleep over at your house!”

“What the--the fuck are you saying, Tetsu?!” Daiki shouts, already feeling an angry vein bulge and throb on his forehead. Holy shit, did Tetsu actually exposed him like that? He never expected to be pushed off the cliff of humiliation in this manner, his well-kept secrets divulged in the open, right in front of Kise, whose eyes are blown wider than Daiki has ever seen, the blond’s gloved hands are both clapped over his mouth. Daiki swears, he’ll definitely gut Tetsu when he sees him.

“Don’t interrupt, I’m not done yet,” Tetsu continues, with barely a hint of emotion in his voice, which makes it more scathing, somehow. “And you, Kise-kun. You’ve always admired Aomine-kun, too, right? And we’re not talking about his basketball skills. Too many stolen glances don’t escape me during practice.”

At this, Kise gasps and buries his face in both of his hands.

“Always… admired?” Daiki repeats, his mind barely keeping up with the information Tetsu has just revealed. This is certainly new, and Tetsu better not making this shit up or Daiki will hunt him down and kill him again.

“...And you can’t stop talking about ‘Aominecchi this, Aominecchi that’, I’m betting my milkshakes, you keep talking about him in your sleep.”

“Kurokocchi!” Kise lets out a muffled squeak, Daiki assumes the mortification gets too much for him to handle, too.

However, Tetsu, the little shit, is unstoppable. “...But you thought Aomine-kun only likes big-chested girls. Well, you’re wrong, he likes you. A lot. So there, enjoy your date. You can thank me later, bye.”

The line goes silent, as simple as that.

Dead air weighs around the two teens, stifling and awkward.

Daiki’s throat goes dry, he can’t look at Kise, running away and hiding forever in his bedroom seems like the most convenient option and yet, he freezes on the spot, his legs feeling like a ton.

He is going to fucking murder Kuroko Tetsuya.

“Is it--is it true, Aominecchi likes me?” Kise suddenly blurts out, snapping Daiki out of his homicidal thoughts.

“I don’t know what made Tetsu spout that crap. After all the help I gave, this is how he repaid me. What kind of friend is that?”

“Uh, okay.” Kise looks down, as if his boots are the most interesting things to look at in the world.

“Don’t mind him, Tetsu’s probably having a bad case of being a huge-ass prick,” Daiki puts in, waving his hand in the air dismissively.

Pressing his lips together in a tight line, Kise just nods and turns around to go.

“Hey, Kise, where are you going?”

“There’s no point of me being here, Aominecchi. You should go home, too.” Then Kise begins to run, the rows of wood slightly creaking against his steps.

Kise’s reaction makes Daiki’s thoughts swirl and churn into a messy heap but before he figures what to make out of the situation, Daiki’s reflex had pushed him to chase after Kise. As soon as he gains ground, he seizes the blond by the wrist in a tight clasp, the effort makes Kise wince.

Kise whirls around, enabling Daiki to get a good view of his face. He sees the slight trembling of the blond’s lips as he fights the urge to cry and Daiki doesn’t quite understand why, but the sight wrenches his heart painfully.

“Please let go, Aominecchi.”

There are a million things Daiki wants to say but how and where to begin, he has no freaking idea. And there are a million possible ways for things to go downhill from here, but he knows, he knows…

It’s worth a try.

Daiki swallows the lump lodged in his throat, tries to ignore the fluttering of a hundred butterflies in his stomach.

Now or never. Daiki pushes himself to take the leap of faith.

“I never said Tetsu was lying,” Daiki begins. He doesn’t know where his speech will lead him but he’ll say it, anyway. “Yeah, I like you… not as a friend, that is. And maybe I like you a lot, I think about you all the time. That’s a lot, right?”

It all sounds so lame, so absurdly lame, and Daiki had really wished he knew how to properly articulate the flurry of sentiments he’s kept to himself for so long, all coming down to these stupid impulses, how much he likes to look at Kise, and to be around Kise everyday, and how much he thinks about Kise when they’re not together.

The soft rustle of water beneath the red bridge seems to mark the moments slipping away as Daiki waits for Kise’s reaction, fretful and breathless, the silence that chased after Daiki’s words intensifying the roar of his own heartbeat.

Kise blinks, then a smile blooms from his lips. Daiki lets go of his hand.

“Aominecchi really likes me.”

Daiki shrugs his shoulders. It feels strangely pleasant coming from Kise. “‘kay. But what about you?”

“Same.”

“Same, what? Speak clearly, you idiot!”

“You can’t be mean to the person you like, Aominecchi!”

This is so unfair. He wants to hear it from Kise himself. Did Kise make him admit his feelings so he can poke fun at him?

A staring contest commences between them before Kise says quietly, “I always like you, Aominecchi. As in more-than-a-friend like.”

Daiki lets that sink in while steadily holding Kise’s gaze, he lets himself and Kise bask in the quiet comfort of finally letting the truth out.

“So uh, what do we do now?” Daiki is still clueless as to where the revelation will take the two of them, exactly.

“Would you, um, like to go out with me?” Kise asks, amber eyes shining with expectation.

“You mean, date? The two of us?”

“Yes, that.”

“Yeah, sure. I like that, Kise.” Daiki grins as he scratches the back of his head, disbelieving how ridiculously simple things are. They just agreed to date and that had been it. The prospect of going out with Kise starts to toy with his teenage fantasies and for a fleeting moment, an image crosses his mind, of Kise and himself kissing behind the lockers after practice. For sure, he’s earnestly looking forward to that. “We can start right now.”

Kise’s smile grows bigger. “And where would you like to go?”

Daiki thinks for a moment. “How about we hit the movies?” he suggests, vaguely remembering that couples always go to cinemas in those drama series that his mother enjoys. “But I didn’t bring money with me so you’ll have to pay for everything.”

“Eh? How can you leave the house without bringing money?” Kise scowls.

“I told you, Tetsu and Satsuki promised me free food, not a… a boyfriend. Anyway, I’ll let you choose the movie. If you want the latest chick flick, fine.”

“Alright, let’s do this! Be my, um, Valentine?”

Daiki isn’t sure how to respond to that, it’s all happening too fast.

And Kise doesn’t wait for his words, either, he just takes the initiative to entwine his and Daiki’s arms together. For a tad longer, Daiki takes it all in, he lets his eyes linger on the blond because Kise at that moment, is a picture of complete bliss and the ray of sunshine that is his smile brings so much warmth into Daiki’s heart.

-x-

Daiki, admittedly, has no first-hand experience on dating and it annoys him to an extent, that he keeps on second-guessing himself, so he still blames Tetsu for putting him in a tight spot.

In the cinemas, there’s nothing much to choose from except a handful of chick flicks, Daiki thinks he’ll just sleep through it. But the fact that Kise’s right beside him, their elbows touching, the two of them actually sharing the biggest bucket of honey-butter flavored popcorn, keeps Daiki awake and hyper-conscious of even the tiniest of Kise’s gasps all throughout the duration of the film.

After Daiki cleans his fingers with tissue, he debates whether he’ll hold Kise’s hand or put his arm around Kise’s shoulder. Both are equally nice, he thinks, and it’s not an easy choice. Just yesterday, Kise and himself are mere classmates, teammates, one-on-one buddies, yet today, they’ve gone through the friends-to-lovers phase quite fast, it’s a mixture of terrifying, confusing and incredibly wonderful feelings Daiki has to find a name for.

A moment later, Daiki feels Kise shift a little from his seat, gingerly sliding closer to lean his head on Daiki’s shoulder.

“I hope this is okay, Aominecchi,” Kise whispers. In response, Daiki slides his arm around Kise’s shoulders, making more room for the blond to get closer, his head now comfortably rested on the crook of Daiki’s neck. Daiki then puts his chin on top of Kise’s head, he sniffs on Kise’s hair and catches the scent of his shampoo. The freshest strawberries. Daiki likes it so much.

“This is more than okay,” Daiki drawls. He and Kise can stay forever like that.

-x-

It’s dark outside when they left the cinemas. Daiki barely understood the plot of the movie, he hadn’t really paid a lot of attention, but he did quite enjoy the feeling of having Kise’s body pressed against his, the warm, velvet smoothness of Kise’s hand on his skin. He remembers, though, that there are lots of kissing scenes, and now, he wonders if Kise would want to be kissed later and when would be the perfect time execute his plan (though he’s very worried too, that he might not be able to do it properly).

“What’re you thinking, Aominecchi?” Kise peers up at him, curious, honeyed eyes focused on Daiki’s features.

“Nothing,” Daiki replies, looking away.

“Are you thinking of me just now, hmm?” Kise teases with a slight tilt of his head to the side. There’s this mischievous smile playing on the corners of Kise’s lips and fuck, it’s doing these things to his heart again.

Daiki’s hand moves on its own, it has given Kise’s cheek a hard pinch.

“Ouch!” The blond yelps, gently stroking the tender spot on his face.

“That’s what you get for being so cheeky. I was thinking about what to eat.” Daiki feigns a little annoyance, then he pulls Kise’s arm. “C’mon, let’s go to Maji!”

But then Kise easily pouts, refusing to move from his spot. “No way, that’s not even a good place for dates. I’ve got a better idea!”

-x-

Daiki lets himself be dragged through several train stations, no questions asked, since he knows that his new model boyfriend is adept and more experienced at these kind of things for completely obvious reasons.

When they reached their destination, it’s not really what he has in mind so Daiki turns to Kise with raised eyebrows and asks, “What do we do here, exactly?”

“Oh, I’d be perfectly happy walking around and holding hands!” Kise chimes.

They arrived at Hanegi Park at half past seven in the evening, and of course, it’s bursting with people who came to admire the delicate plum blossoms in full bloom at this time of the year. The wide pathway leading towards the lake at the center of the park is lit by hundreds of hanging paper lanterns that gently flutter with the night breeze, bathing everything else under a soft yellow glow. With their hands intertwined, Kise leads Daiki past the countless stalls selling street food, flowers, toys and other trinkets, stopping at intervals to stuff themselves with whatever snack that rouses Daiki’s appetite. Daiki makes Kise buy mozzarella cheese dog, yakitori and several bowls of heart-shaped Umaki while Kise insists on getting taiyaki, on the belief that they bring great happiness, and though Daiki’s really not that fond of the sticky red bean filling, he chooses to humor Kise in the end, who whines and keeps making these cute, stupid faces until Daiki caves in.

-x-

They stroll past the plum orchard, treading through the bushes until they hear the loud pounding of a drum from somewhere. Curious and excited, Kise pulls Daiki to the direction of the drumbeat, making their way across the sea of people while being careful not to step on anybody’s foot. Their quest leads them to a crowded open field, and when Kise realizes what the drum is for, he gets even more restless.

“Calling all couples to come join the game!” A woman in megaphone announces before she swings and pounds on to the large, makeshift percussion before her. “First couple in piggyback to round up a hundred-meter dash across the field wins this little guy over here!” She points to a short girl with dark braided hair, her assistant, carrying a giant stuffed bunny.

And the look on Kise’s face, even before the blond utters a single word, tells Daiki where this leads to, so he makes his case and declares adamantly, “Don’t give me that look, I’m not gonna do that!”

“But Aominecchi, please?” There he goes again, wielding his silly little pout and stupid puppy eyes— rounder, softer under the glow of paper lanterns above their heads—and Daiki is certain that Kise knows the extent of his charms and just how much Daiki is powerless over them.

In defense, Daiki shakes his head and deliberately looks away. “No way, I’m not carrying you around!”

“Oh, but you don’t have to. I’ll carry you!”

“No, never!”

“Pretty, pretty please, Aominecchi, do you really love me?”

“Shut up, Kise!”

“But I want the bunny! I can carry you, I’m fast, we can totally win this!”

Daiki gives Kise a sharp, warning glare but the blond is relentless on his pursuit to play. He gives Daiki a shock, jaws unceremoniously dropping in awe just as Kise crouches in front of him, an imploring demand for Daiki to hop onto his back already.

“C’mon, Aominecchi!”

“You idiot! Get up!” His nostrils flaring, Daiki grumbles and yanks Kise’s upper arm, forcing the blond to stand on his feet despite vehement protests.

“Aominecchi, please I--”

“Shut up, I’ll carry you, I’m so much faster!” He bends his knees and swoops low before Kise.

“Huh?”

“What are you waiting for?” Daiki growls, “get on before I change my mind!”

After Kise throws his arms around Daiki’s shoulders, Daiki gets to his feet, hauling Kise high on his back by grabbing under the blond’s knees before he marches closer to the row of other couples preparing for the relay.

“On your mark!” The gamemaster yells.

“Ah, this is so nice, being carried off by Aominecchi like this,” he hears Kise murmur over his ear.

“This isn’t. You’re heavy, my spine’s about to snap.”

“Get set…”

Kise retaliates by hugging him tighter, nuzzling his face on Daiki’s nape, sending in waves upon waves of warm current to the tips of Daiki’s toes.

“Stop that, do you want us to win or not?”

A round of silvery laughter coming from Kise fills the air while Daiki feigns annoyance as much as he can, blanketing his words under a growl, to save face, because he won’t be caught dead admitting out loud just how much he loves the way Kise is making him feel, Kise’s arm draped around his shoulders, feather-light breath ghosting over the back of his neck, the soft thud of Kise’s heartbeat against his back.

The gamemaster’s whistle goes off, and Daiki’s legs break into a sprint, soon he’s soaring, soaring, towards the finish line, to the edge of his emotions, the wind against his face, Kise laughing behind him, chanting his name over and over, and then nothing else matters in the world except the two of them, earning a piece of heaven tonight, the beginning of many nights and days of making memories together, him and Kise.

-x-

He’s pretty sure it’s Satsuki who tells him that first kisses are like a thunderclap, a kind of explosion that resonates inside you, the crashing of waves against the shore. Tonight, Daiki has found out otherwise--his first kiss is much comparable to the break of dawn, warm sunlight that filters through the leaves of trees, the calm of the morning before everything else stirs to wakefulness. His first kiss hadn’t turned his world upside-down in an exhilarating fanfare as he initially pictured it to be, rather, it quiets everything in him, slowing all senses, all thoughts, to a standstill.

Much to Daiki’s delight, Kise lets himself be kissed more than once, as they sit together on the front step of the Kise house, the huge stuffed bunny perched raggedly beside Kise almost a foot away. And Daiki’s lack of experience poses no problems at all, because Kise has made it so easy, so effortless, as they slot their lips together and the sensation overwhelms Daiki just as he savors everything at once: soft lips pressed on his, shifting ever so carefully with each bated breath, fingers threading through his hair, Kise’s warmth washing over him, vibrant and comforting.

“Aominecchi, we should really thank Kurokocchi for this. I want to hug him and give him all the milkshakes in the world.” Kise tells Daiki when they pulled apart to catch their breath.

“Thank him however you want. But those hugs, they’re all mine from now on. And the kisses.”

“Okay, deal.”

Daiki leans in to kiss his boyfriend again, however, the momentum gets shattered when the front door suddenly bursts open.

“Ryou-chan, it’s cold out here, why don’t you and your boyfriend go inside?” A petite, blond woman in her pyjamas, the splitting image of Kise, peeks through the door and throws the two of them an impish gaze.

The intrusion startles them and both teens stood up at once. “Onee-chan, why are you still awake?”

“Good evening, Onee-san,” Daiki curtsies, bowing his head.

“Aomine-kun’s finally your boyfriend, huh? I’m so glad! I mean, it took you forever to confess!” Kise’s sister gushes, pressing both hands to her cheeks.

“Onee-chan—!”

Yet his sister ignores Kise, commenting, “and is that Aomine-kun’s gift to you? That’s so cute!” She wheezes as she inspects the enormous stuffed animal. Then she steps back, making way for her brother and Daiki to come in. “Get inside, love birds.”

“No, Aominecchi’s already leaving, he needs to catch the last train!”

“Are you sure? We can always set up the extra futon in your room, your boyfriend’s welcome to stay the night!” She teases with a sweet smile that’s almost identical to Kise’s but not quite. Daiki thinks that the smile he comes to love is far more radiant, somehow.

“Shoo, stop embarrassing me in front of my…” Kise awkwardly pauses, and he visibly stiffens. “Aominecchi!”

“Whatever you say, lil bro!” She singsongs, biting back a fierce laugh before she disappears behind the door.

Out of embarrassment, Kise sidles over to Daiki, nestling his forehead into Daiki’s chest to conceal his face. “I’m sorry, Aominecchi, my sister wants me miserable.”

“It’s okay, she’s only worried we’ll both catch a cold.” Daiki’s arms move on its own accord, wrapping Kise in a protective embrace. “You should get inside.”

“Aominecchi is such a sweet boyfriend,” Kise remarks, lifting his flushed face towards Daiki. “Had I known you’re like this, I wouldn’t have waited—“

Daiki shuts him up by closing the distance between their lips.

When Daiki pulls back, Kise still has both of his eyes shut.

“Kurokocchi’s mission is a huge success,” Kise quips, rather dreamily.

“Wow. Thinking of some other guy while kissing me.”

Kise’s eyes snap open. “It isn’t like that! Aominecchi is the only one who has my heart!” And then, “Oh!”

Too abashed by his own words, Kise gasps, clapping both hands over his mouth. An even deeper shade of crimson overtakes his face, Daiki notices with pure amusement, despite the scant amount of light slipping through one of the windows.

“God, that’s too much sap in one night.” Daiki palms his face with a slight shake of his head, a feeble attempt to hide the blush crawling on his own cheeks. “I’m leaving.”

“Alright, just go home.”

“But you were my home.”

“Oh my god, Aominecchi!”

Daiki lets go of Kise, and he runs away as fast as he can, out into the street, his heart drumming so hard it’s swelling with bliss, with inexplicable contentment.

Fuck. He thinks. He’s gone from a brick wall to a disgusting cheeseball in a span of one night.

But Daiki has no regrets.

#aokise #my fanfiction #valentines day #aokise discord #fluff

31 notes · View notes

lunar-lair · 5 years

Text

LAMP Headcanons

LAMP is just. So Good. I need more of this

Logan has a specific pet name for the other three. Patton is his sun, Virgil is his moon, and Roman is his star, though he modifies them a bit for better names, like sunshine or Leo for Pat (lions are affiliated with the sun in alchemy), starlight and stardust for Ro, and moonlight or Luna for Virge. He uses 'love' and 'darling' a lot for all of them, because they're basic and get his point across. Plus, they feel right for him.

Virge doesn't really use pet names very often, but he usually uses 'sweetheart' or 'satellite' for Lo, the first just because it makes him blush a lot and the second in reference to Lo calling him his moon all the time, 'honey' and 'my angel' for Pat because they feel right and Patton is just. He really is an angel. And he uses 'love' and 'my Prince' for Ro a lot because again, first makes him blush, and the second is just. Right. Yknow? He uses 'darling' for all of them though, because they are dear to him. And it feels right.

Roman and Patton just use all kinds of nicknames for all their boyfriends, including each other. And when it's just those two together, they'll make it a battle and see who blushes first. Roman loses a lot, because yes, he is romance, but he also loves being romanced. Like. Well it makes sense to me

Really in most situations Roman is the first to blush. He just gets so flustered so quickly, because he loves all of them so much oh my Go d. Virgil is next, because God I love them how did they choose me?? And then Pat because God I love them they're all so sweet and then Logan because God I love them but I'm bad at processing it. Logan is last purely because he's the best at holding it back.

Whenever one of them is sad, they get together on the couch and cuddle with some tea so they can talk it out. It usually ends up with a lot of tear-stained faces and many, many kisses. All the kisses. So many.

Roman really likes sneaking up behind the two with glasses and pulling them off by reaching around, whirling them around, and kissing them. Sometimes he picks them up bridal style. He does this with Pat a lot more often since it's easier to steal his glasses since he can just reach down a bit.

He also really likes sneaking up behind to give kisses on the back of their necks when they aren't paying attention. This usually ends up in Patton giggling, turning around, and kissing back, Logan chuckling and doing the same, and uh. Okay so they all just kinda laugh and kiss back but shh. But whenever he does it to Virge he really telegraphs it, and makes sure it's gentle. The first time he did it he scared the hell out of Virge, so he tries to be careful about it now. He sets his hand on Virgil's shoulder really slowly, and usually comes in for a backwards hug, different to the other two, as he usually just pecks their neck real quick. But he keeps it quiet with Virge, usually asking how he's doing.

In general, they keep things a little less energetic with Virgil. They don't treat him like glass-they learned their lesson after the first time they saw him have a panic attack-but they try their best to keep him calm. Of course, if he's happy and energetic, they'll be bouncy with him, but ya gotta know what level he's at. They all have this special voice, just for him, one that's nice and calm, especially when he's more anxious than usual.

They don't like keeping secrets from each other, but Virgil does it the most. He feels like he's bothering them with his 'stupid' problems and keeps it to himself, but then he feels guilty from keeping it from them...yeah. Eventually the others will notice and movie nights will become an immediate order.

Roman and Patton love to fluster the hell out of Virgil and Logan. They just team up and start spouting all kinds of pet names, and they make it a game to see who flusters whoever they've set their sights on first.

Logan, Virgil, and Roman have absolutely written poetry about their boys. Virgil's often has a theme of 'how did you get to loving me?' and about how he's the luckiest in the world, Logan's and Roman's also sharing that sentiment. Logan's also goes over how well they fit together and stuff, using his pet names for them and then puzzle metaphors a lot. Roman has a lot about their beauty over all, just the usual 'god so amazing' dashing prince stuff he's good with. Roman has just one or two about the prospect of losing them, but Virgil has...A Good Bit. He's terrified to lose them, to break everything for them, too, just cause of his stupid ass saying something wrong or taking something wrong.

Speaking of that, Virgil tread so, SO lightly when they first started dating, oh my god. I'm going with they started dating all at once because I Cannot handle just one or two of them left out. (Side-eyes Superfluous (yeah. Yeah, im talking to you random-slasher. Come catch these ha nds-)) But he apologized even more than he usually does, and said 'yes' to everything, that kind of thing, yknow? They had to have this whole conversation about it, how they weren't dating him for pity, and how he didn't need to be so careful.

It also took Virge an awful long time to understand that they wouldn't leave him. Even after those first few weeks of crazy bad fear over breaking things, he still tread lightly rather often. The others had to say outright, again, that they loved him so much and they would never leave him. Every now and then he gets doubtful again because of something he accidently did or did in the past, and everyone gives him extra love all around for weeks afterward.

Virgil is also depression, as we know, and when he gets depressed he locks himself in his room so he doesn't 'bring them down'. The others often pull him out of his room for food, cuddles, sleep, and other necessities he had been ignoring while depressed. Of course, it doesn't make it disappear-nothing can-but at least it makes him a bit happier.

If Patton expresses any amount of sadness, he is likely to immediately be tackle hugged. This goes for all of them.

When Roman's feeling bad about his work, they have one of their famous cuddle piles and praise all of the amazing things he's made and how amazing he is.

When Logan works for days on end, they pull him into a cuddle pile with tea and have Virgil sing. Virgil's voice is so amazingly calming, especially to Logan. That's not to say Roman's isn't, but it seems Virgil's is made to be used in lullabies.

Over all, they're all there to support each other and it's great. (Al so. Thomas summons them and they're just all in a cuddle pile and they appear on the couch. It's adorable.)

Back to the dashing prince stuff, with all the complimenting, Ro can be found at least 80% of the time complimenting his lovers, Patton easily complimenting back. Lo and Virge just blush a lot and stay silent and say thanks quietly respectively, though with rather similar happy, love-struck smiles on their faces.

Their standard sleeping position is Virgil and Patton on the inside and Logan and Roman on the outside. Patton rolls off the bed and Virgil sleeps better with someone on both sides of him. It makes him feel safe. This changes depending on problems and emotions, obviously.

Virge and Pat are a bit shorter and definitely tinier than their boyfriends, and so they steal their clothes so. Damn. O f t e n. They'll even trade stolen clothes. Lo and Ro don't mind a whole ton, tho, considering their bfs look fucking adorable. Speaking of The Tall Troupe as Virge calls them, they swap clothes, too, but just. The normal stuff. And so do The Smol Squad as Ro calls them, considering they're closer in size.

Speaking of the clothes trading, Virgil is officially permitted to sneak into the tall two's room whenever he needs to to get a big, comfy hoodie that smells like one of his boyfriends to calm him down. Of course, Patton welcomes him as well, but Virgil just rather enjoys the larger size.

Every now and then, they go stargazing in Roman's realm. Virgil finds the sky calming, Ro and Pat just think it's beautiful, and Lo just really likes astronomy. The other three's real favorite part of stargazing is watching Logan's eyes light up, and learning about the stars. They eventually know enough that they trickle in fun facts in convos, and Logan's so proud.

They also go into Ro's realm for adventures, though it's far more likely they're there to see fae and other creatures as they are imagined by Thomas. Virgil adores foxes (pretty and cool. Long and like wolf cats), Pat loves ferrets (they're so long and adorable! Look at it's little eyes, Ro!!!) and Logan thinks frogs are fascinating (they change shape. Isn't that amazing, Ro? And they're just...i dunno. They seem...cool, you could say) and Ro thinks wolves are awesome (they're like dogs but cooler! They howl!!!!). And Ro conjured up a little cottage a long time ago that he used to stay in, alone, when he needed to be, but now he conjures up said cool animals, they go for a walk with those animals and some others all around them and beautiful scenery, and they snuggle on the couch in the cottage and hang out. In winter, he conjures the ones that can live in the cold (white foxes, white wolves, ferrets are still normal!!) and they marvel at the beautiful snow and the pines and have hot chocolate and wear cute sweaters. When they decide they want a nice rainy day, they dance in the rain and take walks and swim. And at the end of the day, before they get out of the imagination to go to sleep or watch a movie marathon, they watch the sunset together and snuggle on the hill the cottage is on, and they return to their warm home with their sweet lovers and they look at each other with this love in their eyes, and they know they made the right choice to get together, and it's all always so soft and nice :'))

(Akslddl sorry abt that I got rlly sappy there,,,,,)

Virgil took a long time to admit he was also depression. He was so scared they would throw him away, (back to the dark sides and the mean and the dark and i love them they can't can they?? Yes they can and they will god they'll think you're terrible, don't tell them. They'll mock you for so long, and you can't go back. It's better you die now-) and he kept spiraling and he started to avoid them. They noticed, and they kept pursuing him, and they finally cornered him and...he broke down. He finally admitted it, admitted it all, how the others treated him and each other, and how he didn't want to go back there. None of them understood and tried to scare him more, and it hurt Thomas, but their goal was Thomas becoming a horrible person rather often, and if that meant making him depressed, won't that make him bitter? A perfect plan, and a perfect storm to follow. But they promised they would never, because they wouldn't. Of course he would always have doubts, he's anxiety, but that didn't mean they couldn't remind him as often as possible.

This leads to Logan researching as much as he could about depression (he had done so concerning anxiety long ago. He could do so again, for his moon.) and made sure to inform the others as well. Soon both Virgil and Thomas were feeling a lot better, much like when they learned and helped even before they knew they loved each other.

Speaking of that time, after Accepting Anxiety, they did all they could to learn, to help, to convince. They did all they could, and Virgil was certainly thankful. Them caring for him in that way is what really made him realize he was in love in the first place.

Virge was actually the one to confess to the others. He was already crying halfway through his sentence, but he wanted to get it out of the way so he could get over it faster if he got thrown back to the others, the darks. Patton tackle hugged him and the others surrounded them, all three confessing in turn as well. They all cried tears of joy, and ended up cuddling on the couch the whole night.

Roman holds most of the talent of the group, of course, but the others hold it at least a little, and Virgil's voice is absolutely amazing. As said before, he is the protector. Personally, something I do to calm down from anxiety is sing, and since, in a way, Virgil protects the other's from the brunt of the anxiety he holds, it would make sense he could sing. ...right? Idk my logics been faulty for years now. Of course, singing is also how Roman calms Virge down, but Virge is there for all the others. He sings low and deep, using the bottom of Thomas's range the most, and has a lullaby-like voice. It knocks them all out in seconds, and it does the same for Virge, eventually, since all the others are asleep.

Virge is known among the others to not tell them when he's uncomfortable or sad, etc. since the anxiety insists it's dumb and they'll think he's dumb for thinking it. Logan found this out in the process of looking things up concerning anxiety, and so from the beginning they always ask him when he seems slightly off. Again, they learned, so they keep it low-key, though Patton goes a bit over board sometimes. Virgil knows he's just trying to help, though. Over all, he's just so grateful for their concern.

Logan, at times, is still terrible at understanding emotions. It infuriates him, because if he can't understand this warm feeling in his gut how does he express it? How does he express how beautiful the others are to him? And so he does so by way of physical affection. It's the only way he can think of. Before, he wasn't very touchy-feely but now he hugged them and peppered their faces with kisses and kissed their cheek when he stopped by and he realized this was what he needed all along. He quickly understood just how much he loved these men, and it overcame him. He had never truly felt something so powerful-love, the thing that permeates all logic. But he certainly didn't mind. One day, he found words to explain it, and for a long while he would tear up while with the others. At first they were concerned, but it wasn't long before they understood he was merely overwhelmed.

Over all, they just run through all their insecurities together and it's wholesome and nice. Some Good Shit, if I do say so myself, which I do.

Virgil cannot properly sleep in his room, and for good reason. After Accepting Anxiety, they realized it was most likely near impossible. Virgil hadn't realized, but once he slept in one of the others' rooms, he was like 'huh.' so he started sleeping there instead, on the floor at first. Not long after Accepting Anxiety, however, he confessed, they started dating, and he started sleeping in the beds. Being with the others was even better. He often sleeps with Ro, since singing calms him down, but he sings when they all sleep together.

Soooo this has been in my drafts for a like...a month bc I kept editing it like...every night. But now I'm getting random bursts of inspiration, and this is already like...fanfic kinds of long so I am officially releasing it!! I wanma see feed back and stuff so. Yeah!! And I'll just rb it whenever I get some inspiration again. I'm also probably gonna make a general headcanons list so watch out for that, I guess. Maybe a meta list, too. I have a few pages for that stuff in my writing note book. Anyways, Sanders Sides has given me the most inspiration for headcanons literally ever, and the most inspiration for writing since the last time I was in the Phandom (Danny Phantom fandom, if you kids don't go there) and it's amazing!! Sorry for the splitting up of the ships and emotions and stuff, but that's how my brain works. It separates stuff, y'know?

Also, a fourth of this stuff is stuff I've heard with a spin on it. Sorry about that, I guess. And sorry this whole thing is such a mess; like I said, I wrote it over the span of like...a while. Anyways, hope you guys liked it!!

Edit: Oh hey it's shorter now. Cool.

Give me validation-

#this kinda just turned into individual hcs for the seperate ships plus some everyone stuff but. oh well. it was fun #like. really fun. i wrote these tags at 3 am prolly weeks before i posted it bc i was like 'oh hey! tags! get those outta the way i guess'#sanders sides #sanders sides headcanons #sanders sides fanfic idea #bc a lot of these are just rlly good fic ideas and i want to wr it e t he m;;;#trash talks #fanfic idea #fanfic ideas #im really sorry so many of these are virgil centric but i relate to him so much #<- made in the process of making this post which was made over like...the span of a month!#im hoping to add more of the others to this but it may not be as much so;;;#lamp #polyamsanders #tw cursing #that at the very least #calm #polysanders #im tagging everything ever so it maybe shows up. idk #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #i will attempt this feat of tagging everyone but im on mobile and the old tags never delete there so i may just be screwed. who knows

12 notes · View notes

katbot · 5 years

Text

Baby’s First Dinner Date.

This week’s Thirsty Thursday contains a lot of first for a girl that’s been steadily dating for nearly eight months.

This picks up the following weekend after my first date with J1. —-

It’s a tiring weekend for me. Early Saturday and I’ve already had my third cup of coffee. Work is in two hours and I’m slowly getting dressed.

My phone pings while I’m pulling up my leggings. It’s J1 giving me the address of tomorrow’s acoustic show. He’s been texting me regularly since Thursday.

Our date was fun. Meeting another native was a truly an new age experience. My friend Gabby has an intense desire to only ever date other natives. “Transplant don’t get our jokes. Our humour is different. More refined. More subtle.” I gotta admit. She’s right. I had been so entranced enough with the luxury of accents, I’ve been ignoring the native call My phone chimes again, and it’s J1 asking if I’d like to grab dinner before the show.

I’m jumping and squealing like an idiot when it suddenly dawns on me— I fucking hate eating dinner.

Organised meals are something I struggle with, my stomach is notoriously fickle. It’s hard to know when I’ll be hungry so preplanned seated meals are an activity I tend dodge.

But FUCK! I’m over the moon that he asked! I can’t say no without sounding like a lunatic. And the thought of spending more time together is wonderful.

We decide upon Korean BBQ at 6:30, and my anxiety increases— I’m imagining the pounds of meat that’ll be staring me down in less than twenty four hours.

“Sure! Sounds great!” I’m lying..but it’s coming from a sweet spot.

For the next twenty four hours, trying to will myself into extreme hunger. I ingest only gin and coffee.

Sunday

Twenty minutes from the restaurant I’m sweating. How can I still not be hungry.

It’s like my stomach is being defiant out of spite.

Maybe I can say I have a surgery in the morning? Dental work? I’m allergic to Koreans? No-that’s just racist. Also, fuck I love Korean food.

“This is Barclays Center. Transfer is available to...”

Fuck me. I’m ten minutes from the restaurant when it finally happens. A pang of hunger hits me with sweet sweet relief. Thank you belly gods! J1 is standing in front of the restaurant, checking his watch. Neither of us texted this morning to confirm— oddly enough I love that it wasn’t necessary.

He looks relieved when I walk up. We exchange quick pecks on the cheek.

I’ve learned a lot through this project— but how to greet a romantic prospect will always be an unsolved mystery.

The restaurant is packed. When we find out there is a thirty minute wait, I quickly opt for barside seats. The bar is more my aesthetic anyway. The lights are dimmer, there’s jazz playing and everything has a lush red hue. We end up getting a booth that’s way too big for just the two of us.

“So...” He’s in a plaid shirt, and dark jeans. Without his beanie, his hair is longer and a lot blonder than I remember. He has pale blue eyes that always seem to be smiling. And a husky beard that’s more invisible than blonde.

Our first few bits of conversation are rough We keep talking over each other. My stomach is closing in on itself and I’m sweating up a storm.

“Wait....Did you tell me that already... or?” “Were you the one that..?”

Our Thursday binge drinking has mutually affect our short term memory— Frustrated, I do two things that will always reign in my inner self.

Honesty and cocktails. “Iiii-ve got to admit. I’m pretty nervous right now and I’m hardly a nervous person.

He laughs and echos my sentiment. His voice is audible marshmallow fluff. When he offers me the cocktail menu, I know everything is going to be okay.

We split three appetisers, a suggestion from me, to hide my fickle stomach.

We get our first cocktails— me gin based - him bourbon, He walks them back to the table with extreme care. When I’m ready to order my second drink, he insist I put it on his tab. With food on the table and three drinks down, I begin to melt into my usual cool. We rehash details of the forgotten Thursday. Peppering in new details about our current life.

The more we talk, the more we remember just how much we have in common. Summers spent out on Long Beach with overlaps of the obscure underground scene. We reach the limit when it’s reveal we both have obsessions with tiki bars.

At 9, we begin to make our way to his friend’s show. When the bill comes, he tries to pay for it himself. It’s nearly 200 dollars. We argue about splitting until I put my foot down and sternly till him it’s not happening.

He agrees, only after adding that he’s doing it because I’m not really giving him a choice.

It makes me like him even more.

The show is across the street— and I feel stupid for stressing about the timing. The place is huge, A three person group is crowning out a light melody that immediately steals my heart.

I’m in awe. When the set ends, the girls next to me begin smiling at me and then beaming at J1. They have a quick conversation and he introduces me as his date. One of the girls points to another table of six people, I have an oh shit moment.

Oh he brought me to a friend FRIEND event. Holy shit. We grab seats and I’m round tabled introduced and desperately trying to remember everyone’s name. I’ve always considered myself a social butterfly, so this is a piece of cake. I quickly gain a rapport with A.

She has a hearty laugh and killer eyeliner. She seems like someone I would be friends with.

She invites me downstairs to grab drinks before the next set. Turns out we missed his friend’s set, who also happens to be her boyfriend. “No stress though, J texted— he said he was having so much fun with you, he didn’t want to leave yet.”

The bar is dark so I can hide my blush but the nervous laughter comes out clear as day. We order two pints of stout each and take them upstairs to our partners. The next set goes on, we shift our seats to the stage. It’s a guy who does a solo guitar set with sprinkles of comedy.

J is sitting in front of me. I’m staring at his long golden hair, and wondering how I feel about it. At one point he turns around only to make sure he’s not blocking my view. He smiles at me quickly before turning back to the stage. I like that he doesn’t feel the need to “babysit” me. It’s bold of him to have a second date that includes not only dinner but meeting all his friends. This guy is either crazy or has massive balls. After the show, J grabs a booth and his friends, A and her partner, N join us. The similarity between J and I continue to grow as his friends and I overlap in obscure ways.

“You went to that college? Oh my god I was planning on going there!” “You know what a theremin is? I have an autoharp!!” “You love vaporwave too?!” I end up having more of a conversation with his friends than him. It’s nearing midnight and I’m giddy. A is nearing drunk and the entire lot of us have work in eight hours. His friends say goodbye, and give me a legitimate: “It was very nice to meet you”

The bar rings for last call while we’re making out.

“I’m not ready to for this to be over....Do you want to head to another bar?”

He says it....THE BLESSED WORDS

We find a bar that’s still open, and head over, hand in hand. It takes long than expected because we keep stopping on the street like horny teenagers.

The bar is dead empty when we finally arrive. We grab pints and a couch in that’s hidden away enough that I don’t feel guilty about heavy petting in public

. I’m sitting on top of J, his hands are grasping my ass while I’m cupping his face.

“Do you want to come back to mine?” He whispers into my ear with a nibble. Ooof. I do. But it’s nearly 1am and I have a meeting in 7 hours and I’m 2 hours away from home.

He understands and we make plans for the following Saturday. A tiki bar crawl that ends in sex.

He’s laughing at my pre planning but excited. We end up staying another hour, and I’m glad my hand is not down J’s pants when the bartender comes round to tell us the back room is closing.

He calls an Uber, I decide to battle the subway.

The ride is long, but the butterflies keep me up all the way.

I send him a “Home” text and dream of blonde haired cherubs.

#kdd #jesse #j1 #nyc dating #new york city cating #sex diaries

4 notes · View notes

cryptidsandcatacombs · 5 years

Text

Summer Nights

Summary: Cronus’ little late night work on his bike turns into a cute evening with the one he loves. Time to break open the musical shenanigans guys

Ship: Cronus/Xena

A/N: This was requested by @xeensbin. I hope they enjoy this cause I’m not fucking around with killing them with fluff here. All songs and lyrics are from the musical Grease. Credit goes to this honestly lovely musical that I’m so sorry that I default to when concerning music with Cronus.

Please note both parties are 18+ and therefore depicted as adults.

Lyrics in italics

It was a hot summer day and the sun was thankfully going down. This sort of went unnoticed by Cronus who was knee deep into work with his motorcycle. He had been at this for a few hours with mp3 player blaring softly on his bluetooth speaker so he has something to work to. Working without his music made him uncomfortable.

They think our love is just a growing pain Why don't they understand, It's just a crying shame Their lips are lying only real is real We stop the fight right now, we got to be what feel

As these lyrics blared out, a familiar set of footsteps stepped on the other side of his bike. Cronus smiled to himself more than happy to have some more than welcomed company.

“Hello gorgeous,” he said sliding out from under his bike. Xena leaned in to help Cronus up. “Come here often stranger,” Xena said with am attempted flirtatious smirk.

“I don’t know. Maybe I should if you come by more often,” Cronus said doing an equally as flirtatious smirk. Slow down you two. This is a kids film.

“I’m bored without you, so I thought if you can’t be em...” Xena said kind of low key checking out an obviously shirtless Cronus. Goddamnit now you got a dead girlfriend to bury Cronus you fucking idiot.

This didn’t go unnoticed by Cronus. To be honest, he kind of did it on purpose. Plus, a guy gets hot during the summer. The only sensible solution was no shirts for Cronus. The sweat on his slightly toned body glistened with sweat and some oil.

Xena began to try and find a nice distraction to get her out of being mesmerized by Cronus’ muscles. Damn it Xena! Now you gotta go into the witness protection program cause your identity as a thirsty hoe has been found out by your fish boyfriend. Shape of Water wishes it had this much sexual tension.

Xena looked over to his bluetooth speaker blaring his music.

We take the pressure and we throw away Conventionality belongs to yesterday There is a chance that we can make it so far We start believing now that we can be who we are

“Is that Grease,” Xena asked. “Yeah. Vantas introduced it to me saying how good it is and how much I would like it. Guy has good taste in movies,” Cronus chuckled as he put on his shirt.

“We can watch it together sometime.” Xena offered. She really wanted to get to know everything Cronus liked. To be honest, if Xena hadn’t offered first, Cronus most certainly would have

Cronus laughed a little. “Ya know what, I thought you’d never ask.” Cronus went to turn up his speaker just a little lower. Or at lease he was going to when Summer Nights came on.

“Oh shit hold up I love this song,” Cronus squealed a little. Musicals truly bring out the man in Cronus. The squealing kind.

“Can you sing Cronus,” Xena asked. Xena knows what they’re about. Time to initiate Code Musical Cliche.

“Oho you know it sweetheart,” Cronus said pulling Xena forward to his chest. “Just follow my lead,” Cronus whispered in her ear. Boy he was feeling cocky.

“W-Wait, I don’t think I can dance,” Xena interrupted.

“When you’re in my arms, dancing is going to be the only thing you want to do cause I got you. You’re good no matter what you do,” Cronus uuuu buddy you’re going big or going home aren’t you buddy.

Xena blushed. Was this seduction? She felt like this was seduction? Well, not time to contemplate the subtext going on here cause Cronus just started the song over.

“Now, just go with the flow beautiful. We got this,” Cronus said looking straight into her eyes. He was a few inches from her face. Yep this was happening.

“Summer lovin' had me a blast,” Cronus began. His singing voice was pretty impressive. Not shocking though. He was a musician after all.

“Summer lovin' happened so fast,” Xena sang back a bit shyly.

“Seeeee, you got this,” Cronus said mildly blushing spinning her around. The spin was so sudden Xena screamed a little. “Just go with it. You’re doing great,” Cronus encouraged.

“I met a girl crazy for me,” Cronus said dipping her down and then picking her back up onto the ground. Xena landed on her feet as a reflex.

Cronus then pushed her out with one of his hands spinning her outward. Time for Xena to play back. Xena had to admit this was getting kind of fun. Xena was feeling pretty light on her feet.

Xena was then pulled back in a reverse spin into his arms. “ Met a boy cute as can be,” Xena said running her hand down his face.

“Shit,” Cronus thought freezing up, blush apparent on his face. Oh how the tables have turned.

“Su--” Cronus squeaked out. He coughed into his hand. Seriously Cronus, you’re a seadweller. All that water and your ass still thirsty.

Xena kissed Cronus nose. Cronus grew weak inside with Xena being here alone and now she’s gotta do that? This man was living and dying at the same time.

“Hey, I”m having fun,” Xena said with a smile.

“Good cause uh I um...I’m having fun too,” Cronus was this close to blue screening on Xena’s ass.

“She swam by me, she got a cramp,” Cronus said picking his composure back up.

“He ran by me, got my suit damp,” Xena sang getting a bit more confident.

“I saved her life, she nearly drowned,” Cronus sang half laughing from how happy he was right now.

“ He showed off, splashing around,” Xena sang laughing back. The sentiment was mutual.

“Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those summer nights,” Both sang pumping their legs out while still holding hands. There was a bit of a bounce to what they were doing. They were honestly having too much fun with this.

“Uh well-a well-a well-a huh,” they both sang in a mock deep voice. They both had to stifle their laughter on that one.

“Tell me more, tell me more,” they said way more high pitch this time.

“Was it love at first sight,” Xena sang. “Oh you know it was,” Cronus mumbled to himself.

“Huh,” she asked. “Oh um...nothing,” he blushed now staggering his words again.

“Took her bowling in the arcade,” Cronus said now changing the subject.

“ We went strolling, drank lemonade,” Xena sang while rolling her eyes.

“We made out a hunk of the time,” Cronus said running his fingers under Xena’s chin pulling her a few inches from his lips while pulling her into his chest with his free arm

Xena froze blushing her face off. Fucking damn it Cronus try not to kill your girlfriend twice.

Xena’s heart raced against his chest and Cronus could feel it. At least, he was thinking that was hers if not his own.

Cronus then began to slow down as a different song played in the background. It was much slower this one. He began to lead her into a much slower dance. Xena didn’t know what he was going to do next. Then suddenly a soft melody came from his lips.

Guess mine is not the first heart broken My eyes are not the first to cry I'm not the first to know There's just no getting over you

Xena perked up. “Cronus,” she thought to herself.

You know I'm just a fool who's willing To sit around and wait for you But, baby, can't you see There's nothing else for me to do? I'm hopelessly devoted to you

There was a slight tremor to these words he was singing. They had genuine meaning. Anyone could tell. It wasn’t like he was naturally singing before, but they came out nervous as he slightly choked on each lyric.

But now there's nowhere to hide Since you pushed my love aside I'm out of my head Hopelessly devoted to you Hopelessly devoted to you Hopelessly devoted to you

Xena stood there in disbelief and silence. She didn’t know how to respond for a hot minute. Then she had a good idea. Time to make this solo a duet.

My head is saying, "Fool, forget him." My heart is saying, "Don't let go. Hold on till the end." And that's what I intend to do I'm hopelessly devoted to you

Cronus bit his lower lip. She was actually singing back to him! Cronus heard the same choking in her voice he probably had. God, this was too much. He felt like he could cry right now. He joined in with her. He couldn’t help it at this point. The moment they were was so unbearably slow and intimate, he couldn’t let it stop now.

But now there's nowhere to hide Since you pushed my love aside I'm out of my head Hopelessly devoted to you Hopelessly devoted to you Hopelessly devoted to you

They both sang this in unison dancing in each other's arms, their foreheads pressed against one another’s.

“Hey, you’re the only one on my mind you know that,” Cronus said barely above a whisper. His hands were trembling slightly pressed up against the small of Xena’s back. “You’re the only one I want Xena. I hope you know that,” Cronus choked out. A lump in his throat formed as he said this.

Xena trembled and blushed at this confession. She couldn’t ask for someone better to be with her tonight. “You’re so beautiful Cronus,” Xena whispered back. “I love you so much that I can’t stand it some days. You’re so good to me. Thank you for always being with me,” Xena said pressing her hand against his cheek.

“Anything and everything for you and only you,” Cronus said pulling her into a kiss. The moon rose in the sky and the music continued to play, but both of these things went unnoticed for Cronus was knee deep in compassion for the love his life.

#fics for others #i had a lot of fun with this one

6 notes · View notes

noona-clock · 6 years

Text

Study: Admin B

In which we dig deeper under the surface of our favorite Noona-Clock Admins.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the gifs used in this post. I am not an astrologer nor am I a professional psychologist. These are my opinions based on the research I have done personally/as a hobby. If you disagree with any of these statements, please do so respectfully. Also, I totally understand if you do not read this. I know it’s going to be long because I have done a lot of research into my own personality. 🙄

-Admin B

Sun Sign: Aquarius (Air)

Aquarius is known to be really the most unique sign in the zodiac... which basically just translates to: Aquarians are a bunch of weirdos. Our sign is ruled by Uranus which is the planet of originality, so yeah. We’re big on individualism and being yourself and being different. So, we really are just a bunch of weirdos, but we know it. And we’re proud of it. I am definitely a weirdo, but I don’t see this as a bad thing at all. I have a wacky sense of humor, and I... am just weird! I’m not afraid to be myself and let my funny, quirky traits and habits shine through. I have a wide variety of interests which really aren’t connected to each other at all (KPOP, Star Trek, Disney, Makeup, romance novels, the British royal family, history, Harry Potter - all of which I love just about equally!). Aquarians, myself included, can also be kind of awkward and a little misunderstood at times because of this originality we value so much. That’s why it can be difficult for us to make friends sometimes. But we’re also just very choosy about who we let into our life! We know not everyone will accept us for who we are, even though Aquarians are pretty non-judgmental.

Another huge part of the Aquarius sign is the need to help people. Our symbol is the water bearer, and this signifies how we like to give things to people. We give our time, our compassion, our knowledge. We just want to better the world, and we have such huge, humanitarian hearts. I can definitely identify with this trait because I have always been extremely empathetic, and I do my best to help out anyone in any way I can. I always donate an extra two dollars at the store for homeless pets or food drives or children's’ hospitals. I rescue all my pets from shelters. I use cruelty-free makeup and skincare, and I try to buy as many of my clothes as I can secondhand to help the environment some. I know there’s so much more I could be doing, too!

Aquarians can also be really hard to break through to. I mentioned before it’s difficult for us to make friends sometimes, not only because we can be so weird and awkward but also because we have a tendency to be emotionally detached. We’re usually pretty reserved (I definitely am), and we strongly prefer not to show or talk about our emotions. We do not like confrontation, but we also tend to overthink a lot. So even though we might seem like we’re emotionally detached, there’s a lot going on in our heads. We love to analyze situations down to the bones, usually in an unhealthy way. But Aquarians are just huge thinkers in general. This aspect of the Aquarius sign definitely applies to me, as I have always had trouble expressing myself emotionally. I don’t easily say ‘I love you’ to people, though this mostly just applies in real life. I can express myself so much easier in writing because I have more time to sort out my thoughts!

Moon Sign: Cancer (Water)

WOO, GIRL. I’ve said before that having a water sign in your lunar placement is difficult, but like... having Cancer in your lunar placement? Oh, my. Cancer is the sign ruled by the Moon itself, so a water moon sign + the Moon moon sign = good luck to you. (and yes I’m now thinking of Moon Moon. Bless his heart.)

Cancers really have a bad reputation for being crybabies because we are so. dang. sensitive. Water signs are known for being the most emotional anyway, and I think Cancers might just be the most of the most emotional. They’re definitely the most sensitive, that’s for sure. And since the sign in your lunar placement defines your innermost, emotional self... Do you understand why having a Cancer moon sign is just a little tricky? Cancers make decisions with our emotions, and a lot of the time, we just have a ton of emotions. There’s basically just an emotional roller coaster going on in our heads at all times, so we can definitely come across as moody. I have always, always, always been extremely sensitive. I take things way too personally, and I let things affect me way more than they should. It really wasn’t until I learned about my Cancer moon sign that I accepted this is just who I am. I’ve always wanted to change how I react to certain situations, but I know now I just can’t. I feel things very deeply even though I don’t show it (thanks to my Aquarius emotional detachment), and while it gets annoying, it helps me connect with people.

Because Cancers are so sensitive and emotional, we are very, very good listeners. We will be there for you when you need to bitch, and while we might not always have advice for you, we will sincerely, genuinely listen to your problems, and we will truly sympathize. We’ll also try to take care of you if we can because Cancers are extremely nurturing. We like to take care of people, and my preferred method of taking care of people is doing things for them. I tend to be pretty thoughtful, and if I ever think “oh, I wish someone would do that for me,” I like to go and do just that for someone else. We’re just very helpful, strong people who will genuinely care about you and sympathize with you.

Cancers, like Aquarians, are very non-judgmental, which is another reason why we make such great listeners. You can literally tell us anything, and we’ll do our best to understand. I definitely try not to judge people because my Aquarius ass is so weird - what place do I have to judge someone else, right? The only people we’ll turn our back on is people who have wronged us or our loved ones, and this is so, so true for me. The second I find out you’ve hurt somebody I love, I’m done with you. Cancers are very protective and nurturing people!

While it can be difficult for Cancers to get close to people (because we can get kind of paranoid, think people don’t like us, and we tend to feel left out A LOT - a daily struggle for me!), we love having deep conversations. We’ll talk about anything we’re interested in for, like, hours... and we won’t let it go. We’re a very sentimental sign, and we just, in general, have trouble letting things go. But that circles right back around to being sensitive! We just have a lot of feelings!!

Chinese Astrology: Earth Snake

Just like Daesung! So is it any wonder I’m an angel? (LOL)

I never liked being a Snake growing up because I’m not a huge lover of reptiles. I like cute, fuzzy animals (that don’t have beaks), and snakes just creep me out. But whenever I would read the description of a Snake on the tray papers at Chinese restaurants, I couldn’t argue it sounded a lot like me.

Snakes are known to be very humorous but also sophisticated in a way (though I definitely do not have a sophisticated sense of humor). We prefer to eliminate small talk, instead opting for deeper, more meaningful conversations. In addition, we’re usually pretty capable in an emergency. We’re able to hold our ground and think rationally and calmly about what needs to be done.

Snakes are always thinking ahead and making new plans (and a majority of the time we follow these plans without relying on others’ input because we’re kind of stubborn and think we know best). But we’re usually right, okay? You really cannot judge a Snake by its cover. We may seem pretty calm and somewhat lazy or laid back, but our minds are so active. We’re super alert and observant, and really, nothing gets past us.

Snakes have very high standards for friends, and this, coupled with my Aquarian reserve and Cancer sensitivity, really makes it difficult for me to put myself out there and make friends. This is why I have a small number of very close friends, and that’s about it. I spend a lot of time with my family because they’re also included in the people I’m closest to. But Snakes - Earth Snakes, in particular - are very loyal friends who can keep a friendship for life. Once we attach ourselves to you, it’s going to take a lot to shake us off (but I mean if you really want to then just make my sister or any of my best friends cry. Then I’ll drop you in a hot second). Snakes are sensitive to criticism, though, and if we get hurt, we will never forgive and never forget. Does this sound familiar? It’s honestly still weird to me how the same traits show up over and over in these studies - not just mine!

Women Snakes are usually graceful and elegant, and while I probably wouldn’t classify myself as either of these, I do take great care with my appearance. I like to appear more elegant and sophisticated than I truly am. I love doing my makeup and wearing nice clothes. Women Snakes are also known to be beautiful, both inside and out. Our confidence is manifested in our fashion and appreciation for classic art. This seems kind of specific, but it’s definitely true for me! My main source of confidence comes from how I make myself look (not how I naturally look, mind you). I’ve never been one to easily accept compliments, but if you tell me you like my makeup or my outfit, the words ‘Thank you’ come out of my mouth immediately. It’s something this Snake is proud of! I also do appreciate art, and whenever I’m visiting a new city (or an old city), I like to find the local art museum and spend some time there!

Numerology: Life Path 9

As I’ve mentioned in Jackson’s, Jinyoung’s, and Yugyeom’s Study, the 9 Life Path number is the most evolved in numerology and has one of the strongest vibrations because it contains the qualities of all the other numbers. 9s are seen as wise, old souls, and our main focus in life is developing our spirituality in all aspects.

9s usually have a strong inclination to follow whatever we believe in, and we’ll pursue this with great ambition and drive. We also have an authentic regard for humanity, so our goals tend to involve serving others in some way. This is certainly true for me because one of my biggest overall passions is education. I truly, truly believe education is the solution to so many problems, and every single person on this Earth deserves a good education. I was a teacher for several years before my Introverted self couldn’t take it any longer, but now I work for a software company who serves daycares and preschools for underprivileged children.

9s love serving and helping others, and it’s such a huge part of our identity that whenever we’re in need of support, people tend not to notice. But we do keep our guard up, so 9s definitely need to learn how to ask for help since it’s hardly ever obvious when we do need it. This has been something I’ve struggled with my entire life - asking for help. I always feel like a burden or like I’m annoying when I ask for something, and my Cancer self cannot handle feeling like a burden!

9s are also usually pretty creative, and while I’m certainly not creative like Jackson, Jinyoung, or Yugyeom, I like to think I am in my own way. I express my creativity through makeup, fashion, and definitely through writing. I also love to daydream, and my daydreams can get pretty involved!

MBTI: INFJ

Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging

You guys. I’m so Introverted, it’s not even funny. Not only that, I’m a shy introvert. I’m so naturally quiet and reserved, and you would not believe how many different people have commented on this, even strangers! I love staying at home, and I much prefer to be in my bed reading or on my laptop than out somewhere with a bunch of people. I think before I speak, I spend time with myself, and I just actually really like being alone. Truly, if we’re on a road trip together, I could go for hours without speaking and be just fine. That’s how quiet I am.

I also type as Intuitive, meaning I’m very imaginative, open-minded, curious, and I prefer to think about the possibilities rather than the facts or what’s already been tested as tried and true. As I mentioned in the previous section, I love to daydream, and I think daydreaming is pretty big sign of an Intuitive person over a Sensing person. Intuitives tend to talk more about ideas while Sensers talk more about facts.

So, if you’ve read this far, it should come as absolutely no surprise whatsoever I’m a Feeling individual. I don’t even really need to go over how emotional and sensitive I am because that’s basically the whole of my Moon Sign. Funnily enough, though, this function is the one with my lowest percentage. Whereas I’m 88% Introverted, 79% Intuitive, and 71% Judging, I’m only 68% Feeling.

Finally, I type as a Judging individual which means my more extraverted function is my Feeling function. It also means I’m more structured in how I live my life. I don’t really like to keep my options open. I like to make a plan and stick to it. This is very true! If I’m ever doing something with friends or family, I get really annoyed if someone keeps bringing up ideas and options. Especially if we’ve already figured out what we want to do.

INFJs are known as The Advocate. We love to help people, but in a very ‘need to make the world a better place’ way. We don’t want to just pay for somebody’s meal at the drive-thru because we know it’s a nice thing to do. We do it because we want to start a Pay It Forward movement, to help people help others. We love having a cause, and we are relentless about making the world a better place.

Other Studies: Admin T

Master list // RULES // Submit a Request! // Read About the Admins

#noonaclock #astrology #mbti #chinese zodiac #aquarius #cancer #aquarius sun #cancer moon #snake #earth snake #infj #admin b

57 notes · View notes

ganymedesclock · 6 years

Text

Hey so remember that time that I was like “so I’m gonna come up with pokemon for some major Voltron characters, but I’m gonna limit it to two each because what kinda maniac would do full teams for 12+ characters”?

Me. I am that kinda maniac.

Team Voltron in this post- Sincline plus Haggar and Zarkon later.

Lance Milotic [s] * Primarina * Gyarados * Swampert * Octillery * Lapras

Lance ended up with the single most evenly-typed team out of everybody I put here. The shiny Milotic is his signature pokemon but overall I can see Lance spending a lot of time with his team, both talking to them and grooming them. (if there’s anybody on the team I can see doing really well in contests, it’d be Lance)

Milotic and Gyarados are natural choices given the implication, as I’ve discussed before, that Lance is only a few steps behind Keith while not being a prodigy, and thus, a hard worker- so him getting pokemon that are regarded as pathetic, looked-down-upon initial evolutions, and refusing to give up on them no matter what, and reaping the rewards with a show-stopping team.

Primarina arguably fits in for the same reasons (I remember when Sun/Moon started coming out, everybody dunked on Popplio) but with its final evolution being a ~beautiful mermaid~ there’s also no way Lance wouldn’t roll for that.

Octillery is a nod to Lance’s own brilliant marskmanship as well as being stated to be a calm pokemon that enjoys being fussed over, and Lapras are stated to sing to find each other, good for the empathetic connector that Lance is as a person. The swampert is both an effective canceler of electrical attacks (as Lance is pretty dang adaptable all things considered) and a nod to his connection with Hunk, the Earth paladin.

Keith Charizard (Y mega evolution) * Absol * Talonflame * Aegislash * Minior * Arcanine

I feel like Keith’s team, outside of the obvious fire motif, would be more ranger-like than focused on battling; the feeling from his house in s1e1 and the way he so clearly enjoys both the hoverbike and the outdoors strikes me as someone who would take very well to having a team that can let him tear across an open expanse or soar through the air. Either way, gotta have room to roam- his team has some rather large members.

I imagine Keith’s not a very earnest trainer. Most of his team came to him rather than him seeking them out, and they have funny personal stories behind almost all of them. The only exception is Charizard, who he got as a starter Charmander and who stuck with him the entire time he was shuffling around the foster system.

Aegislash are stated to be servants of those it believes possess a ‘kingly spirit’ and that one in particular doesn’t always listen to Keith, though it does sure seem interested in his welfare- it just sometimes disagrees with him on what that looks like. He’s never known it as a Honedge or Doublade- and it’s been around as long as he can remember. Perhaps someone asked it to look after him? It certainly nannies him an awful lot.

The arcanine he found as a growlithe hiding under a car, but it didn’t evolve until Garrison. Conversely the talonflame evolved really quickly; it was another adopted one (he found it after it hit a window and was able to nurse it back to health) I can see him using the talonflame more for exploration than for fighting.

Absol was a present from Shiro who thought they were similar-minded and could get along. (C’mon it’s a moody, well-intentioned prophet pokemon with flippy hair. I couldn’t not give one to Keith) It’s a little troubled but so’s he, so, they work.

Keith has no idea what’s up with the Minior. It latched onto him during his year in the desert and refused to leave him. He kinda thinks of it as a kindred spirit since they’re said to come from space and he feels pretty lost himself. (Kiddo you have no idea.)

Shiro Lucario * Skarmory * Mightyena * Umbreon * Scizor * Dusknoir

Veteran trainer who runs a tight ship, though not to his team’s detriment. A mix of dark and steel types, mostly, suitable for the tough-as-nails Black Paladin whose fighting style definitely has some shades of “brutally efficient”. As much as Shiro is an honorable and empathetic type, when it comes to life-or-death situations he goes for the throat big time.

Thanks to his leadership, coordination and focus, they all made it through the missing year a bit beat up, a bit scarred, and pretty stressed- in particular his eevee didn’t exactly... plan to end up in that evolution but it had to evolve in the sunless sterile environment of the arena.

Lucario is really nearly Shiro as a pokemon and I can see him sharing a very strong bond with it- the natural sense of justice, keen personal focus and that, for all of its strong instincts and wills, it’s a pack hunter that focuses on the idea of the group.

Skarmory is a pokemon said to refine its edge through experiencing hardship, battering its steel wings until it eventually regrows them and sharpens their cutting edge. Scizor fits in under that umbrella as well, since it’s another steel type and one that has to use its wings to thermoregulate, creating the image of an entity under pressure that has to regulate itself carefully. I sort of imagine during the missing year they spent a lot of time tanking for Shiro himself and for the rest of the team, and came out the most battered as a result.

Mightyena is another socially-motivated pack hunter, which, given it’s a dark type and thus allegedly ‘evil’ would implicitly strike a balance between honorable and pragmatic, which is very significant to Shiro.

Dusknoir’s a good sport, helpful and obliging, but Shiro sorta gets the creeps around it since he went into the missing year with only five pokemon (having given Keith his absol) and has absolutely no memory of when or where this one showed up and given its whole guide of the dead thing he sometimes wonders if it’s actually here for him in the not necessarily supportive sense of the term.

Hunk Donphan * Aggron * Bastiodon * Claydol * Golurk * Chansey

The donphan is his signature pokemon and primary companion- which matches his mentality basically perfectly as a relative slow mover that becomes virtually unstoppable once set on a single goal.

Hunk’s team pretty much embodies the dual nature of a compassionate protector of others with someone who will through-and-through mess you up if you tick him off or hurt his friends. You’d better believe that chansey is ready to throw down at any time of day.

Aggron nicely embodies both with its propensity to restore and maintain its territory but also being a metal dinosaur that will protect that territory viciously.

Claydol and Golurk are more testaments to his curiosity and interest in technology. Hunk was the only one I gave a fossil pokemon, with the idea being he’s the sort of person who’d take the time to carefully nurse a revived prehistoric creature back to health. In general, I think Hunk’s team would be in good shape, like, he’s the type who just really enjoys taking care of them. He never officially signed up for the league (hence his lack of a starter) but just sorta accumulated pokemon that he made friends with.

In his defense most of these guys were a lot smaller when he started out and sometimes his donphan forgets that it’s not the size of a lapdog anymore.

Pidge Rotom * Phantump * Porygon * Minun * Beldum * Cleffa

With only a single grass type, Pidge has the weakest connection to her element, but that much really makes sense- of the team she’s probably the most distant from understanding herself. Her team is all first evolutions as well- she’s got a lot of growing to do.

The rotom is both her signature and virtually never battles, usually hiding out in her laptop. They’re her best friend and avid confidant and she doesn’t like to have them occupy something they can’t talk to her through. (You bet your ass she has a Rotomdex. she built it herself)

Minun and Cleffa were gifts from her brother and her father respectively- Matt has a corresponding Plusle, and Cleffa because someone like Sam Holt who dedicated his life work to finding extraterrestrial life would be charmed by pokemon like the clefairy line that is rumored to have come from outer space. Pidge didn’t have much interest in the ‘conventional’ pokemon league and I imagine she only caught a few of her pokemon personally- most were from her family. Her mom got her Porygon partially in honor of her love of old-school graphics.

Beldum she caught all on her own! It was difficult- she killed an entire holiday- but she’s gonna have a metagross. As. soon as she can figure out how to encourage it to evolve. So far it’s not buying anything. Sometimes her Rotom has to chase it away from her laptop so it doesn’t try to dismantle her equipment. She has successfully trained it to fetch wrenches though.

Phantump is a new addition after her dad and brother went missing- they’re the spirits of lost children and while Pidge didn’t get lost as much as Sam and Matt did, I think that sense of being forlorn and isolated would lead her to quickly connect with a creature that felt the same way. By the time half of these babies grow up she’s gonna be pretty terrifying.

Allura Diancie * Audino * Florges * Altaria * Mawile * Espeon

Diancie’s basically a given. Of course Allura has a legendary, of course it’s the pink princess coming into her own, of course Allura’s team is mostly fairy types. Have you seen Mega Diancie? Tell me that’s not an Allura look.

Audino is a healer, Florges is a pokemon that explicitly makes gardens for royalty, and Altaria being a dragon bird basically is the embodiment of “beauty and grace and about to destroy your face.”

Mawile is also a nice testament to Allura’s toughness and strength of spirit, while Espeon is more a nice allusion to her strength of mind- also putting her as a counterpart to Shiro as the two leaders of the paladins. A very beautiful team, and a very competent one.

Given Allura’s sentimental nature, I can see most of her pokemon being old childhood playmates, even Diancie- her apparent love of the outdoors and Altea’s climate would both imply that it wouldn’t be hard to run into powerful pokemon. So her team has a very strong emotional bond and are able to trust each other implicitly.

Originally I was going to give Allura Xerneas and Haggar Yveltal, but I thought that Diancie was a better fit for Allura, and while she’s OP, she’s not that OP, at least- not that consistently so the idea is they’re more entities that the two can call upon in times of need.

Coran Stoutland * Drampa * Probopass * Alakazam * Walrein * Carbink

Yes, I know what you’re thinking, and yes, yes I did.

That said Coran’s team is anything but a joke- he can and will cheerfully destroy you if you’re unprepared. His whole team is docile as sheep outside of combat, though- Allura has a lot of fond memories hanging out with that Drampa.

Others (the Alakazam, Walrein, and Probopass) are a little lazier but still certainly friendly.

The carbink pretty much had to be there as soon as I looked at the relationship the carbink advisers are said to have with Diancie in the movie-verse since it’s basically the relationship between Coran and Allura just with pokemon. I sort of like the idea that in-universe working with Diancie and the carbinks is just a very standard affair for the Altean royal family- as diplomats they formed alliances with the pokemon in their environment before moving into space.

His signature pokemon is the Stoutland, through and through- a long-lived wise pokemon cited as a protector of others and a creature that will go through great toil to protect others. Also it’s such a stodgy, respectable-feeling thing, you can just imagine it patiently trotting along beside Coran on his way around the castle.

#voltron legendary defender #vld #Voltron pokes #Lance #Keith #Shiro #Hunk #Pidge #Allura #Coran #readmore

114 notes · View notes

staircasttext · 3 years

Text

Ep 02 Transcript: Ass Ticks

Episode 2

[intro music]

PAZ: Hi everyone, welcome back to Stairway to Starclan, our Warriors Cat reread pawdcast that we have a name for. We have cover art. We're in the big leagues. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: I'm Liz.

PAZ: And we are back again, reading Into the Wild. Yeah, we read chapter five through chapter nine this week. Do we have anything to say beforehand or should we just go right into the summaries?

JULIAN: I'm sure we'll talk about this more, but I love Yellowfang.

PAZ: Yes, I think that might be a theme of this episode but we'll have to see. I echo that sentiment.

LIZ: She's great.

PAZ: Well, okay, let's go meet her in these chapter summaries. So we started with chapter five, which opens on Firepaw's first day of training. Graypaw and Firepaw go on a patrol of the ThunderClan territory with Lionheart and Tigerclaw. And we kind of get the beats of like settings in the book, such as the lumber mill, which the cats call Treecutplace, RiverClan border, and Fourtrees. And Fourtrees is the neutral place where all four clans meet periodically.

And Firepaw asks why the clans have to fight for resources instead of working together, which was very scandalizing to all the other cats.

Then they go patrol the ShadowClan border, which is a road. They call it the Thunderpath. And the cats seem to have absolutely no understanding of what a car is. Then they all head back to camp, and the next day Graypaw, Firepaw, and Ravenpaw practice hunting. Tigerclaw makes some mean remarks to Ravenpaw, who is noticeably scared of him. And the chapter ends with Firepaw catching and killing his first mouse in the forest.

Chapter six starts off with a time skip of two moons. Firepaw's out on the hunting patrol. He's about to catch a vole and then a strange cat interrupts him who turns out to be Graypaw. They have a little fight and then some banter about how loud Graypaw is. And as an apology for scaring away the vole, Graypaw offers to help Firepaw hunt. Along the way they see a fox, and Graypw's like, damn, a fox totally would have killed you before, haha. Isn't that funny?

And then their hunt takes them all the way to the Thunderpath, which Firepaw briefly touches, and as he touches it, he thinks he sees the eyes of a ShadowClan warrior across the road. And then they run away from the Thunderpath and go their separate ways. Chapter seven, great chapter, instantly opens on Firepaw getting attacked by an unknown cat, who helpfully announces that she's Yellowfang in third person. Firepaw is like, wow, Yellowfang looks all fucked up and old and gross, and then attacks her again because she's trying to hunt in ThunderClan territory. And there's a fight scene between them in which Firepaw eventually wins. Yellowfang is like, better make it hurt. Better kill me in one shot.

And then compares him to a kittypet, which really riles up Firepaw. But he decides he's going to help her and get her some food because he's a nice boy. He catches a rabbit and Yellowfang eats it, and then Firepaw eats some of the leftover scraps because he's hungry. But in doing so he is breaking the warrior code of feeding the clan before himself. And then, oh no, ThunderClan cats show up.

So chapter eight. A lot happens. Firepaw and Yellowfang are confronted by the ThunderClan patrol, which includes Bluestar and Tigerclaw and Graypaw. And Bluestar's like, I hope you had a good reason for breaking the warrior code and feeding the enemy and yourself. But then Bluestar realizes Yellowfang is in fact ShadowClan's former medicine cat. Some of the other warriors say they should just kill Yellowfang but Bluestar decides to bring her back to camp.

On the way Graypaw explains that Yellowfang must be a loner now, which means not attached to any clan but not a kittypet, either. Once the patrol gets back to camp, Firepaw has to watch everyone else besides him eat because he broke the warrior code. He listens to Bluestar and Tigerclaw debate what to do with Yellowfang, and Bluestar explains that they should keep Yellowfang around because she might share ShadowClan intel.

Bluestar calls a meeting and then delivers the news that they couldn't find a single WindClan cat in WindClan territory and that ShadowClan appeared to have attacked WindClan. Everyone is shocked. Bluestar decides that ThunderClan has to hunker down and prepare themselves for a possible ShadowClan attack. And she also decides the apprentices need to be trained faster and takes Firepaw on as her own apprentice. But then Firestar-- Firestar, whoops. Bluestar. Bluestar gives Firepaw his punishment, which is to take care of Yellowfang, and hunt for her, and clean up her "dirt," quote unquote.

Our last chapter is chapter nine. Firepaw goes over to talk to Yellowfang, where she taunts him for being a former kittypet. Firepaw then psychoanalyzes her and is like, you're just humiliated that you have to rely on any cat, which Yellowfang seems impressed by, and they're kind of chill after that. Three days later, the apprentices are heading out for training, and Sandpaw and Dustpaw mock Firepaw for being Yellowfang's caretaker and the fact that Bluestar still has yet to actively train him.

After Firepaw catches Yellowfang's breakfast, there's a scene where Yellowfang reacts very badly to a kitten running into her and imply some sort of bad backstory about her and children. And then there's some scene setting about how ThunderClan is fortifying their camp for an attack. Firepaw goes to visit Spottedleaf, the medicine cat, for some supplies for Yellowfang, and Firepaw feels, quote, "suddenly cheerful and tingling with energy" after the meeting.

There's a few more scenes with caring for Yellowfang and hunting, and then there's a scene where Graypaw offers to bring food to Yellowfang instead and has to overeat to cover up when Tigerclaw confronts him. And the chapter ends with Firepaw running off to look after Yellowfang again. So that's all of our chapters for this week. Anyone have opening thoughts?

JULIAN: Firepaw needs to learn road safety.

PAZ: Okay, the fact that Firepaw doesn't know what a car is? Kinda...

JULIAN: He used to be a kittypet!

PAZ: Yeah, I mean like I guess he's never been to the vet to get his balls cut off, but he probably still like saw out the window every day.

JULIAN: Did he never see his humans like go get groceries?

PAZ: Right?

JULIAN: Did they not bring him home in a car? I have so many questions.

LIZ: Maybe he was asleep. He's just a little baby.

JULIAN: That's true.

PAZ: He is a little baby. I do have to rescind my call out post for Firepaw because I think Julian pointed out that he is six months old and is--

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: --just a little guy, so.

LIZ: He's so little.

JULIAN: Now I did see that. I did see that in an Amazon review so I don't know if it's canon or not.

PAZ: I mean, I guess it's true he has to be pretty young if he hadn't gone to get neutered yet.

JULIAN: He's just a baby, and he has baby's first crush on Spottedleaf.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Yeah, I think we can get to that.

LIZ: I've got some highlights from that I wanna talk about.

PAZ: Yeah, do we want to kind of go a little bit in chronological order?

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: I mean the first chapter is kind of just more shit about patrolling and stuff.

JULIAN: He does do that-- he suggests that they all share prey, but the other cats are too tied to the scarcity mindset.

PAZ: Yes, that is definitely, like, once again, there is extreme like cat nationalism, like very, very strict like border control. And also, like, xenophobia, and absolutely no sharing resources.

JULIAN: It seems like, aside from that one question, though, he's bought into it very quickly because like there's one point where he smells the other cats and he's like, Oh, they smell nasty.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: And it's like, what, what are you talking about?

PAZ: That, yeah, that, like, cultural conditioning real fast.

LIZ: Well, he's like, he's a baby so he's just imprinted instantly I guess. Not that it's good, but um, yeah, the smell thing comes up very soon when he sees or smells the other cats. Like oh, it's sour and bad.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: I think they all smell sour and bad because they're just living in a forest, probably,

PAZ: Who... I don't know. I don't, I mean, cats still groom themselves. That's the good thing about cats.

JULIAN: I mean, Yellowfang smells sour. I'm jumping ahead, though. The descriptions of hunting are like very... They make me want to hunt. They're very good to read.

PAZ: Yeah, I think, like the hunting and fighting descriptions are all really good.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Although I do, I do think that like written out... Liz, I think you're cutting out a whole bunch for me.

LIZ: Yeah, I think I am. I don't... Let me try restarting from the beginning, I guess.

PAZ: Okay.

LIZ: Sorry, one second.

PAZ: That's okay.

JULIAN: It's okay.

LIZ: Hello?

JULIAN: Oh, hello.

PAZ: Hello.

LIZ: Hi.

PAZ: Welcome back.

LIZ: Hi. I hope it sticks this time.

PAZ: We're being censored.

LIZ: We are. We said too much about the balls.

PAZ: Okay, so we were talking about hunting, hunting and fight stuff.

LIZ: Right.

PAZ: I was gonna say is that the hunting and fighting is all very well written, but the like written out cat sounds are extremely funny.

JULIAN: Oh god.

PAZ: Like I have a page open here to the Yellowfang and Firepaw fight. I'll read some for us. "Grawr. Yow."

LIZ: Go on.

JULIAN: Somebody learned about onomatopoeia in English class.

PAZ: I think it's great, I think it's so characterful.

LIZ: There's a part later when Yellowfang is laughing and it's written out as like mrr-ow-ow-ow.

PAZ: This, I think, Julian said it last episode, said is dead disease. Also must write out all sound.

JULIAN: No, I think my favorite, and maybe this is the one you're talking about, Liz, where it's "'Reow-wow-wow,' Yellowfang screamed in agony." And you know, when I hear the sound "ow-wow," I definitely think agony.

LIZ: Well, that's what I say when I'm in agony, like, ow, owie. We're the same, me and cats.

PAZ: Beautiful, beautiful stuff.

LIZ: I actually word searched "said" just to check, Didn't look--

JULIAN: Oh good.

LIZ: Don't worry, I didn't look past the chapters we read, and it only comes up when someone else is talking like in dialogue. Like Person A is being like, oh, person B said this.

JULIAN: Oh my god.

PAZ: Oh yeah.

LIZ: There are a few instances of “said” as a dialog indicator later, but um, I didn't look--

PAZ: Do you have a count on that, or does it not give you that?

LIZ: I don't think it gives you the count on Libby.

PAZ: Darn.

JULIAN: Let me see if it does on my reader. Yeah, it definitely gives me a count for other words, because I just did a search for Yellowfang.

PAZ: Oh, please tell me how many times “said” is in this book.

JULIAN: So “said” appears in this entire book, this entire, like 20 chapter book--

PAZ: It's almost 300 pages, I think.

JULIAN: Yeah, so, do we want to do bets, over/under?

PAZ: Okay. Over 25.

LIZ: I'm going to say, under 100.

JULIAN: It is 34 times.

LIZ: What?

JULIAN: In this entire book.

LIZ: What?

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: That is not a lot.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: And it's not that the cats don't talk. They talk a lot.

LIZ: They meow a lot, and they yowl, and they mew.

PAZ: And purr. They're not saying.

JULIAN: They purr so much.

LIZ: Oh, we need to talk about the purr.

JULIAN: We have to talk about the purring.

LIZ: I've got it right in front of me.

PAZ: Yeah? You want to read it, or?

LIZ: Yeah, I know we're jumping ahead a little but, um.

PAZ: No, go ahead.

LIZ: Someone told me that it's usually a horny indicator. I was very alarmed because when we meet Yellowfang-- I'll read you the paragraph. "Yellowfang seemed to sense the change in him. Her fierce orange eyes sparked with new respect. Tipping her head, and dropping eye contact, she started to back off. 'No need to be hasty now,' she purred in a silky tone."

PAZ: This to Firepaw?

LIZ: Yes, when they meet.

PAZ: Okay, I think I was saying like, just like in the world connotation-wise, purr is like, like flirty to me, because just of humans.

JULIAN: Same.

PAZ: But I don't think the book uses it that way, but it's so funny.

LIZ: Yeah, I hope not. because when this happened I was like, Oh, is this like the girl cat that's going to be the love interest, or whatever.

[Julian snorts]

PAZ: No.

LIZ: But no, she's like an old lady.

JULIAN: Oh my god, yeah, no, Yellowfang, especially like "purred in a silky tone." Yeah, that, to me, reads very horny.

PAZ: Yeah, like I know they're cats but, like, we're not. We are humans reading it, and I think words have connotations. But I guess also, we're not 12. So maybe...

JULIAN: That's true.

LIZ: I guess it's supposed to come off as more menacing, because she's trying to menace. I think.

PAZ: Like sinister.

JULIAN: I think she's trying to be snarky, kind of.

LIZ: Yeah. But it was just very alarming to read the first time

JULIAN: Oh, we did learn-- I made a note of this in chapter six when we see the fox, they also discuss badgers.

[Liz gasps]

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: We do learn that Halftail was not born with the name Halftail and that, I guess, was not his original warrior name because he lost his tail to a badger.

LIZ: Do you think he was like Mediumtail? Because there's already a Longtail.

PAZ: I've also made the same exact note of there being badger confirmation and also name change confirmation.

LIZ: Good for them.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean that's... is that like he changed his name, or like someone was like haha Halftail, and everybody started calling him Halftail?

LIZ: Aw, that's sad.

PAZ: That would be very sad.

LIZ: Maybe he's like I survived a badger. I'm Halftail now. Check it out. Badgers show up in a lot of these books with animals doing violence.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: I've never seen a badger. I don't even think I've seen a badger at a zoo.

JULIAN: Do they live in North America? I should know this but I super don't.

LIZ: They do, yeah.

PAZ: They do? I know we have wolverines, which are even scarier.

LIZ: Or mm, maybe, this is a book written by eight British people, right?

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Right. Oh, there are American badgers, but they're a different species.

PAZ: Oh, okay.

LIZ: So they're British badgers.

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: I see.

JULIAN: I'm pulling up their-- yeah, yeah, the European badger is across basically all of Europe except the very top of Scandinavia.

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: Those motherfuckers can move.

JULIAN: And some of the islands. Oh, there aren't any American badgers on the East Coast. That's why I have not seen any of them.

LIZ: Well, you're safe then. They're real mean.

PAZ: Are they?

LIZ: I say that like I've seen them. I haven't.

PAZ: I don't know anything about badgers, except that they attacked Halftail, but um, speaking of cat stuff. Lots of balls talk last section. Gotta say, there is a real focus on pee also.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: And there's lots of mention of spraying to mark territory. Once again, the things this series chooses to be realistic about.

JULIAN: See, so I was unclear whether that was actually pee, or whether it was like-- because I know that cats will, like, are described as like spraying their scent, but I don't know if that's actually peeing, or if it's like coming from their scent glands, because I do not have experience with non-neutered male cats.

PAZ: I have a lovely description for you.

JULIAN: Oh, great, thank you.

PAZ: From google.com. "Spraying is when a cat backs up to a vertical surface with their tail erect and squirts urine."

JULIAN: Goddammit.

PAZ: I just...

LIZ: Well, now we have confirmation.

JULIAN: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

PAZ: Why, why does this book have to be realistic about the worst things?

JULIAN: There was so much focus on Yellowfang's absolutely gnarly parasite situation.

LIZ: Oh, the-- I remember what they call it. It's her "rump."

JULIAN: They're like-- there was a description of Firepaw crunching her fleas between his teeth.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: No, no.

JULIAN: And I was like, this is the worst thing I've ever read.

PAZ: Yeah, like when he got the punishment of being like, Oh, you have to go take care of Yellowfang, like some other cats even said like, oh I hope you're good at crunching fleas or whatever.

JULIAN: I did not think that was like a-- do they have to crunch-- do the other cats have fleas? Like are they worried that they're going to get fleas from her? Do they have to crunch all the fleas for all of the elders? I'm very curious about the flea situation in this camp where all the cats live together.

PAZ: Well, you're not gonna get the answer to that. But you will get the realistic pee experience.

LIZ: The pee is such a dramatic reveal, too, because it's like-- there's a moment of horror because they find out that ShadowClan's like all up in their territory or something. And it's because, oh, someone's been spraying here.

PAZ: Yeah, I know.

LIZ: Also wait, during the flea... thing, it's shown that like Firepaw can use his paws to like put the, whatever medicine on, right?

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, he puts the mouse bile on with his paws and then has to go wash them in the river. Is that a thing that cats do?

PAZ: I don't think so.

LIZ: Why did he have to crunch, then? Couldn't he just like--

PAZ: Well, fleas are too tiny.

JULIAN: Yeah, the mouse bile was for the ticks, to get the ticks to release.

LIZ: Oh right.

JULIAN: She is rife with parasites.

PAZ: Should we just talk about Yellowfang while we're talking about her parasite situation?

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: Yeah, she's also the whole second half of the chapters we read, basically, so.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I love her.

LIZ: She's mean and good.

PAZ: Yeah, we all established that we love her before we started talking about this chapter. But yeah, she rules. She's just like an old mean, cool cat.

JULIAN: I mean, I'm always a sucker for a mean old lady. And that's her. Plus apparently she has, like every other female character in the series, child trauma.

PAZ: I know, I got to that scene, and I'm like, oh god, come on.

LIZ: It comes so suddenly. I also have that bookmarked, cause it happened while she was just like being mean to some kids. Let me see. Yeah, she like, she says, "'I have no kits,' Yellowfang spat." And then she turns around and then she sounds very wistful. And then she says, specifically, "accidents seem to happen to kits when I'm around them." Just as like conversation.

JULIAN: Just as a normal thing you say to the child who's caring for you.

LIZ: To the child who's caring for you, in front of even younger children.

PAZ: I mean, Firepaw did like a full psychoanalyze scene on her, so we're getting real personal here.

JULIAN: As a kittypet, he knows all about Freud.

PAZ: Yeah, new Firepaw lore, just dropped. Avid reader of Freud. But yeah, I think it was brought up that like, oh, there's a lot of weird plots about like child loss and infertility in these books. And I don't remember well enough to say so. But I'm like, this is it. This is it coming over the horizon at us.

JULIAN: Yeah, if I remember correctly, there's a lot of them, to the point that I gave my medicine cat OC some of her own child trauma.

PAZ: Oh my gosh.

JULIAN: It just seemed like the thing to do.

LIZ: Do the cats have a low birth rate?

PAZ: I don't think so.

LIZ: Is it cause there's like some, some guy out there just like catching and neutering cats, because he thinks it's safer for the cat population? Is there just like one vet who's everyone's enemy in this book?

PAZ: No, no. We've already established you can't be a warrior if your balls are cut off. Like I just don't think they'll let you into the camp, so.

LIZ: Does it only apply to like male cats, though, or, or is there--

PAZ: No, I don't think so. I don't remember anything about being like an unnatural infertility thing.

LIZ: Alright that's good, I guess.

JULIAN: Yeah it's mostly like they lose cats who are already born.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Or like they can't have children because they're a medicine cat and it's forbidden.

PAZ: Spoiler, they do.

LIZ: Yeah, I kind of assumed.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't remember what Yellowfang's child relationship situation is. But I assume we'll find out.

LIZ: I don't know, hearing that there is going to be more of this from many corners has a very like Whedonesque foreshadowing.

PAZ: Yeah, okay, I was trying to think of like, Oh, who's that person who does like weird infertility plots all the time. Yeah, yeah, it's Joss Whedon.

JULIAN: Now that you mentioned that the cats are all barefoot also.

PAZ: No.

LIZ: No. I'm saying no but there are a lot of like foot names also.

PAZ: If they ever make a Warriors Cat movie--

JULIAN: There you go.

PAZ: --they know who to call up. It's Joss Whedon.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Ugh, god.

LIZ: Warrior Cats as directed by Quentin Tarantino. [laughs]

JULIAN: I would bet money that somewhere there's like a animated Warrior Cats video set to some like Pulp Fiction dialogue or something.

PAZ: Oh my god, you're probably right.

JULIAN: Listeners, if you find it, tweet it at us.

PAZ: Please.

JULIAN: God.

LIZ: Alright, but putting the feet aside. Yeah, we love Yellowfang here. Is there anything else we want to say about her?

JULIAN: I want her and Spottedleaf to talk, but they do not seem to yet.

PAZ: I did write down that Yellowfang also calls Spottedleaf like, “pretty little medicine cat.” I was like, damn, okay. Yeah, I want them to talk. I also think Firepaw was rude as hell when he described her. Real grody description.

LIZ: Yeah, she, she just got like, what, attacked by some badgers right? That's why she's all fucked up?

PAZ: Yeah, that's what happened.

LIZ: Yeah, sure. Anyway.

JULIAN: Definitely.

LIZ: You should be a nicer young man. Just because you live in the forest doesn't mean you don't have to be nice to little old ladies.

PAZ: That's actually kinda like--

JULIAN: He should respect his elders.

PAZ: Yeah, Bluestar is very insistent, like, be nice to elders, which is nice.

LIZ: Yeah, there's the part where the other young cats are making fun of Firepaw for having to take care of her. And then she's like, it's not embarrassing to take care of old people.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: That's a nice lesson, I think.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I'm also, I know we don't get it in these chapters, but Bluestar. I want more Bluestar content.

LIZ: She's good.

PAZ: She kinda hasn't really been a character in focus yet so far. She's kind of been like giving speeches and orders.

LIZ: I'm like, assuming she's gonna step in more since she has to train Firepaw, right?

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yes. Yeah, no. We'll see more from her if I remember correctly.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm pretty sure, I mean, she's a pretty important character.

JULIAN: She'll be a girl boss on screen.

PAZ: Please.

JULIAN: What was the pun that Gabe was mad that we didn't make? Cat-paw-talism?

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: I think it was instead of capitalism, cat-- catpawtalism or something like that.

LIZ: Yes.

PAZ: It's weird because they don't have catpawtalism.

JULIAN: They don't.

PAZ: There is a scarcity-- they have like, they share. They share resources but there is a scarcity narrative.

JULIAN: It's like, socialism, but like, each of the clans is like its own little socialist state.

PAZ: It's nationalism, and then socialism.

LIZ: Just a little xenophobia, just for flavor.

PAZ: There's so-- that's another thing. There's so much. There was even some eugenics-esque stuff that showed up.

LIZ: What?

PAZ: Yeah, where-- I forget who, but somebody was saying-- it was Yellowfang. She's like, kittypet blood is not the same as warriors blood.

JULIAN: Oh right.

LIZ: Oh yeah.

PAZ: And I was like, whoa. Slow down there.

LIZ: He's just like a little baby.

JULIAN: Also all cats are the same.

PAZ: Yeah, all cats are queens.

LIZ: It's true. Also you think they'd be like, less like hard on the blood stuff on account of like all of them probably being like stray cats, right.

PAZ: Yeah, these aren't like wild cats with like the species. They're just stray cats.

LIZ: Yeah, they're just, whatever. It's not like any of them are, I don't know, like purebred Scottish Folds or something.

PAZ: I think a pure--

JULIAN: Well, according to that one drawing, Yellowfang is clearly Persian.

PAZ: Yeah, so, so I have the Cats of the Clan book, which comes with full illustrations of all the important cats. And there was a Yellowfang illustration in there, and she was indeed a Persian cat.

LIZ: Maybe she's like, she's just like, she's got a Persian cat dad or something.

PAZ: No but, but--

JULIAN: Her dark secret is that she's got like a kittypet ancestor somewhere.

[Liz gasps]

PAZ: Oh my god. Yeah, cause she's--

JULIAN: I'm making that up. I don't know if that's the case.

PAZ: We can add that lore in.

LIZ: I mean, that must be the case for like a good amount of the population, given how stray cats happen?

JULIAN: Right? Also like, otherwise how do the cats avoid inbreeding?

LIZ: Mm.

PAZ: I have a cat story of my own. So when I was younger we had a cat, Maria, and she kept like getting out of the house and getting pregnant before we could get her to the vet. She had like three litters. And she just kept doing this like, over and over again because we couldn't get her to the vet fast enough like after she had the kids. So she had like three litters like that. She was going out there and, you know, sharing tongues with--

LIZ: No.

PAZ: With some stray cats.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: There is a really tender scene where Graypaw and Firepaw share tongues together and I did just write down "gay."

PAZ: They are really cute.

JULIAN: In my little comment.

PAZ: They're very, very cute.

LIZ: They're sweet.

JULIAN: They're really cute. Graypaw goes out on a limb for him a lot. He's still exposition, he still has JRPG protagonist syndrome, or protagonist friend syndrome, but he's a sweet little guy. They're cute together.

PAZ: Yeah, I think they're very cute and it is gay. Is it gay to share tongues with your friend?

LIZ: Makes you think. Um, sorry, what were you saying before, before we got to...

PAZ: I don't know. We were talking about cat eugenics. Uh...

LIZ: No, you were talking about your old cat, right?

PAZ: Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah, she just kept going out and getting pregnant with stray cats, so like, who's to say there's, like, kittypet blood in there, in these clans.

LIZ: She's the mother of all clans.

JULIAN: I do have a note about how evil-coded ShadowClan constantly is. That their leader, that their series of leaders were Raggedstar and then Brokenstar.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: It's like, who's naming these cats?

PAZ: That's also something I wanted to talk about. Because they're so evil coded, like who said like, Oh, we're gonna be the evil clan. Let's all give ourselves evil names.

JULIAN: I want to pick a name that makes me sound like a real leader: Brokenstar. Like, okay.

LIZ: Maybe they're just like, goth.

PAZ: That's true.

JULIAN: They might just, it's a clan full of little edgelords.

LIZ: Yeah. ThunderClan is like preps.

PAZ: Jocks. Or preps.

LIZ: No, they've got a jock thing, I think. You're right.

PAZ: Yeah so ShadowClan is the goths. ThunderClan is the jocks. Maybe RiverClan is the preps?

LIZ: They could also be jocks, but like they play water polo.

PAZ: Wait, what, Julian?

JULIAN: Oh, I was gonna say that RiverClan gives me stoner vibes, because they like, chill out by the river a lot, and they're all fat and happy.

PAZ: I don't remember them enough to say so.

JULIAN: Because they have a whole other source of food that all the other cats don't have, because they can eat fish.

PAZ: Why don't they-- but like Firepaw was hunting by a stream. Why don't they just also catch fish?

LIZ: Is it because they can't swim? Can they swim?

PAZ: He went in the water.

LIZ: He like, just like stood in it. That's different from swimming.

PAZ: Well, that's all you need to do to catch fish.

JULIAN: Maybe the stream isn't big enough to support a big fish population, you know.

PAZ: Maybe, yeah. The maps show the landscape, kind of.

JULIAN: Is there a sense of how big the streams are?

PAZ: Okay, well, that--

JULIAN: Is there a scale marker?

PAZ: No scale marker. Does say river by the border with RiverClan, and then there's like little streams going off into the forest. So yeah, maybe they're not big enough, but who knows.

LIZ: That's so sad. Cats would love fish.

PAZ: They would. RiverClan has a monopoly, and they must be stopped.

LIZ: RiverClan is like having their own sashimi every night, and I don't know. They should teach the art of fishing, and maybe that'll bring all the clans together. Finally there is peace. Just so they can get the fishy.

PAZ: No, you can't share resources, absolutely. It's against the warrior code.

LIZ: Why? It's like...

JULIAN: The warrior code rule number one is don't share resources.

PAZ: Yeah, hold on, I gotta go get the exact thing that Tigerclaw says, cause I was like, okay. Okay, here it is. "'It is our clan loyalty that makes us strong,' Tigerclaw meowed in agreement. 'If you weaken that loyalty you weaken our chances of survival.'"

JULIAN: Well, damn.

PAZ: This was in direct response to Firepaw being like, why don't we all share?

JULIAN: Damn.

LIZ: It's not like they don't have a concept of sharing. They clearly do it within their clan. It's like here is the communal food hole, which is, you know, hole is what it's called in these chapters, so that's what I'm gonna go with. And then everyone can like, eat. I don't know.

JULIAN: I'm also concerned about like prey decomposition in the hole, in the hole that they bury all these mice in.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Maybe it's just like, aged beef.

JULIAN: God.

PAZ: I don't think these cats discovered the concept of curing food. Once again, the things this book chooses to be realistic on versus not realistic on are baffling.

JULIAN: Right?

LIZ: Do the cats at any point discover cooking?

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: No, they're very afraid of fire.

LIZ: I don't know, they have medicine. That's just like cooking for your health.

PAZ: Is it?

LIZ: Yeah, gotta mix some liquids together. Now it's a serum that I eat, or whatever.

PAZ: I don't think they mix anything, though. It's just like herbs. Mouse bile, poppy seeds. I guess we're fuckin taking opioids.

LIZ: Poppy seeds are harvested. That's like pre-cooking. That's getting your mise en place, right?

PAZ: I don't think...

JULIAN: We can't get into an argument about what cooking entails.

PAZ: We have not talked about Spottedleaf yet, and Firepaw.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: His tingles.

PAZ: So we were informed by other former fans that these books are weirdly horny. And I think we got the first glimpse of that here.

LIZ: Can I read you guys a section?

PAZ: Yes, please.

JULIAN: Oh yes.

LIZ: So to set the scene, Firepaw has gone to Spottedleaf to get some medicine, medicine which is very romantic. They describe the bile in some detail. It's like some moss soaked in it on a stick, and she says to him, don't get in your mouth, because it tastes nasty. [soft jazz begins to swell] But before that, she passes it to him, and the sentence reads, "He tasted her warm sweet breath, as he took the bark strip between his teeth."

PAZ: I like put my head in my hands at that passage.

LIZ: Losing my eyes.

PAZ: This is a--

JULIAN: 10 year old me had a lot of feelings about Spottedleaf. We're just gonna leave it there.

PAZ: I cannot wait. I love that like Firepaw's getting his tingles or whatever. Spottedleaf is just like, no idea. She's just chilling. She's just doing her job. Yeah, we know why Rusty has to have his balls now, wink.

LIZ: No. I guess he's like getting older right because it says two moons have passed.

PAZ: Yeah, I wasn't sure like what amount of time that signified, actually, if that was like months or like moon cycles.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think it's a moon cycle. It's like a month.

LIZ: Yeah, so like two months.

JULIAN: So, yeah.

PAZ: That's a lot for a cat.

JULIAN: Roughly.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, so he's like, you know, eight or nine months old now.

PAZ: Cats are pretty big at that point.

JULIAN: That's old enough.

PAZ: Old enough to have a crush on this medicine cat who is literally just doing her job.

JULIAN: With her warm sweet breath.

LIZ: She's, she's handing him the worst medicine possible for the worst affliction possible, which is ass ticks, and he can still find time in his heart to feel romantic. So good for him I guess.

PAZ: Met over ass ticks.

JULIAN: They didn't even. She doesn't have to do anything with the ass ticks.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: She's delegated that.

PAZ: Well, I mean that's because the Yellowfang like won't let her come near her. I don't-- because Yellowfang's too proud or whatever.

JULIAN: Her past.

LIZ: I guess, does the doctor ever go to the doctor? Makes you think.

PAZ: Yeah, isn't the thing with medicine cats that there's only ever like one, and then the apprentice? Like that feels like a bad system.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: It's a terrible system.

PAZ: Well, if your medicine cat dies then you're just fucked. So...

LIZ: I mean you've got like their teenage apprentice, which is probably fine.

PAZ: But Spottedleaf doesn't even have an apprentice right now, I don't think. Okay, I think that's all we have to say about the reading for this week. So we're gonna move on to another exciting activity.

JULIAN: Oh I love that the first-- we found, or Liz has found an article.

PAZ: I think Liz should take us through it.

LIZ: All right. Well, I think we've already expressed some dissatisfaction with how the canon clans work, which is why it is very fortuitous that I found, just by chance, a wikiHow article on how to make a Warrior Cats clan with your friends. Last updated October 2020, so you know it's recent.

PAZ: Oh my god, it's in the cat role playing category subsection which I guess...

JULIAN: Oh, I am very excited to see what else is in there.

PAZ: Oh, it's only one other thing. And it's scary.

JULIAN: But that's an exploration for another time.

LIZ: I don't know if I want to look. Alright, well first of all just for some visuals, the thumbnail preview for the link to this is a little cat man giving a thumbs up to an elderly cat person. Just cat people.

PAZ: Yeah, we're talking like anthro people. Don't think that's in the books, but okay.

LIZ: He does have the Warrior Cats bangs, or at least some bangs, so there is some connection here to the house style. Not very much, I would think, cause again, very humanoid, but.

JULIAN: Yeah, he has thumbs.

LIZ: He does have-- well, cats have thumbs.

PAZ: No, they don't.

JULIAN: No, they don't.

LIZ: Yeah they do. I mean they're not thumbs, but they're like thumb-ish.

PAZ: They don't have thumbs.

LIZ: I think you need to expand your definition of thumbs. It's not my fault you're so close minded.

JULIAN: Also they're wearing clothes, which is not...

PAZ: No. Warrior Cats...

JULIAN: I guess they're wearing clothes because this is a rated G wikiHow article, but. This old cat is in like robes. He looks at Luke Skywalker, or sorry Obi Wan, Obi Wan.

LIZ: Wait, wait, wait. Don't you mean Obi Nyan?

PAZ: Okay, well, you know, moving on to this article. Should we read the beautiful description too?

LIZ: Of course. "Do you love Warrior Cats? Do you have friends that know Warrior Cats? Try making a Warrior Cats clan. It can be lots of fun for everyone. But you need to make sure to keep it realistic and fun."

JULIAN: Why do I have to keep it realistic?

PAZ: Who says it has to be realistic?

LIZ: Yeah, that's very limiting. So let's-- actually, this is a huge layout. I have to zoom out to be able to read anything, because it just takes up the whole page. Yeah, there's an image of some anime people sitting around a table, arms crossed for the women. One glasses guy. And they say, "first, ask your friends if they're interested in making a clan." Well, are you interested?

JULIAN: Yes, absolutely.

PAZ: Yes, I sure am.

LIZ: Mm, good, good. They do make a note to clarify that "if one of your friends says no, ask if they want to be a rogue, loner, kittypet, or even another animal."

PAZ: Hold on a second.

JULIAN: "If they still refuse, don't force them to play along." How do you force someone to roleplay a cat?

PAZ: I am not unlocking this door until you meow.

LIZ: You put them in a horrible labyrinth and say, you role play, or I will not let you out.

JULIAN: God. Alright, step two.

LIZ: If someone is new to the world of Warriors, tell them the key things about the books. I think I have to let you guys take over here.

JULIAN: Sure. Well, do you know about the clans, the warrior code, the ranks, and the traditions?

LIZ: No, I am just a mere kitty pet.

PAZ: Oh.

JULIAN: Well.

[laughter]

We don't have time on the podcast for me to explain the ranks and the traditions, right at this moment, but can I suggest that you start off as a kit or apprentice?

LIZ: You may. That sounds intriguing. Step three, decide on the ranks. And just to give you a little flavor, there is an image here. It is a pyramid of cat icons in silhouette, so it's very mysterious, but one is circled, and it is one cat icon that is a full picture of a cat. You can see its face, and it is circled to indicate decision.

So I think we need to decide our ranks. I've got-- I know nothing about this. So, I'm an apprentice, let's say. What about you guys?

PAZ: Well, don't you want to read the flavor text?

LIZ: It's a lot of flavor text. Do you want me to?

JULIAN: It's a lot.

PAZ: I don't know, some of it's pretty good.

LIZ: I'll go through it, then. "Every clan needs a leader. This must be an experienced reader, whoever has read the most books or gained the most knowledge, and somebody that can be a good role player."

PAZ: Well, between me and Julian, I think Julian might have actually read more books because I never read all of the first series.

JULIAN: I was gonna say that you've read more of the books, because I pretty much stopped reading after the, like, halfway through the second series. So.

PAZ: Maybe it balances out.

LIZ: I think you need to fight to the death.

PAZ: Well, no, this is our clan. What if we're like co-leaders?

JULIAN: That works.

PAZ: Yeah. This is our clan, our house.

JULIAN: This is our clan. We can make the rules.

LIZ: You're right.

PAZ: Okay, we're the co-leaders.

LIZ: Well, leaders, next you need to choose a deputy.

JULIAN: I'm sensing that we're going to run into an issue.

LIZ: Wait, wait. "If your clan is nefarious, the leader should make sure the deputy is wicked unless the leader isn't actually evil and they want their clan to be well off."

PAZ: Is our clan nefarious?

JULIAN: Ooh, that is a good question.

PAZ: See, it's fun to be evil, but also I know we've had issues with the insular nature of canon clans.

JULIAN: Right, see, would the other clans think that we're evil because we're breaking the warrior code so much?

PAZ: Ooh, they probably would.

LIZ: That's true.

PAZ: So we'll take in everyone and we love to share: evil.

LIZ: We go to the meeting thing that they have, and we bring everyone like little gift baskets and they hate that.

PAZ: They hate it so much.

JULIAN: Oh, perfect. Again, it's saying that we should have at least three warriors, which I think, I think we're going to run into an issue because there are three of us.

PAZ: No, no, we can make our cats the warriors.

JULIAN: Oh, good call.

LIZ: You're right. So we have four technically.

JULIAN: Oh, there we go. Which of our cats would be a medicine cat?

PAZ: Well, Lu just came up here and meowed. So, I think she's volunteering.

JULIAN: Well, there you go. She sounds like she's a good role player who can act fast.

PAZ: Yeah, she was found in the woods too. She probably knows all about the herbs.

JULIAN: There you go.

LIZ: She knows the mosses and the leaves.

JULIAN: She's a little hedgewitch.

PAZ: Okay, that's settled.

LIZ: Dr. Lu.

JULIAN: Yep. And then, Liz, are you an apprentice?

LIZ: I'm Lu's apprentice, I think.

JULIAN: Perfect.

PAZ: Wait, you're a medicine cat apprentice?

LIZ: Yes, I don't think I'm very combat heavy.

PAZ: Okay.

JULIAN: I like this.

LIZ: "A medicine cat should be smart, quick learner who has read a good amount of the Warriors books." Which she of course has. "They don't actually need to know all that much about herbs, but suggest them searching up different plants and how they can be used."

PAZ: "Apprentices, despite common depiction, are close to the same size as warriors." Good to know. "And it's also fun to have elders." Chloe. I'm gonna volunteer Chloe for that. Thanks Linda.

JULIAN: Oh, yes, of course, Chloe is a storyteller.

LIZ: She is.

JULIAN: She has a lot to share.

PAZ: Okay, I think we got a good basis for our clan here.

JULIAN: "Step four, name your characters. Names are very important. If your cat has a certain interesting feature, like a disfigurement--" oh boy-- "you can add that into the name."

PAZ: Oh, wait, this article clarifies some lore. "Elders keep their warrior names unless something has changed about them." Thanks. Well, Julian and I-- oh.

LIZ: Oh?

PAZ: "Make sure all the names are natural unless they are kittypets (house cats.) You would hardly find a cat named Mustangpaw or a silly name like Awesomepaw, Cocoapaw, or Foampaw. This is why it's vital to have nature related names."

JULIAN: Oh, and then also an important point of information. "Do not create mean names, or someone could get hurt, refuse to join, or tell on you as bullies, which you don't want to be."

PAZ: That's good, that's good.

LIZ: That's good. Yeah, I'm gonna say, cats in our clan can just change them when they want to.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: You don't have to wait.

JULIAN: Yep. Name anarchy.

PAZ: Julian and I are co-leaders, so I guess we're star, something-star.

JULIAN: Right. I should have thought of something beforehand.

LIZ: Warrior cats name generator.

PAZ: List of flowers.

JULIAN: I'm gonna yoink the prefix of my old OC, and I'm gonna be Pinestar.

PAZ: Fuck yeah.

LIZ: Do we not want the one from fantasynamegenerators.com, which gave me Raccoonsbelly?

PAZ: Well, that's obviously your name.

JULIAN: There you go.

LIZ: Fishnose.

PAZ: Oh, Fishnose is really good.

JULIAN: Fishnose is really cute.

LIZ: Curvybush.

JULIAN: That's obscene.

PAZ: Share tongues at the curvy bush.

LIZ: Cootbranch?

JULIAN: Can you link to this?

LIZ: Yeah, it's real bad, I think.

PAZ: Well, thank you fantasy name generators.com.

LIZ: Thank you with an asterisk for a caveat because I don't know about this one.

PAZ: Well anyway, my Warriors name is gonna be Larkstar. Thank you.

JULIAN: Oh, that's cute. Oh, I'm sorry I do have to shout out Eelkit, which is what the name just gave me.

PAZ: Oh, fuck yes.

LIZ: Oh, that's really good.

JULIAN: And I am going to be Eelstar.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: That's beautiful.

PAZ: Okay so, Eelstar and Larkstar are co-leaders and our trusted apprentice...

LIZ: Um, wait, do apprentices have the paw thing?

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: I liked fish.

PAZ: Fishpaw?

LIZ: I'll be Fishpaw, yeah.

PAZ: Hell yeah.

LIZ: I'm going hard for the fish that you-- I'm not really that big of a fish fan in real life. Please do not be mistaken.

JULIAN: That's where the role playing comes in.

PAZ: Yeah, really test your limits. Okay, step five, "tell all your friends about your character. They don't have to know everything, but make sure they know their personality, their aims in life, etc. Make sure they also know what your cat looks like. Pretend that they are blind and describe your cat to the best of your ability."

LIZ: That's not how blindness works, but okay.

PAZ: That's really not, yeah.

LIZ: WikiHow, be better.

JULIAN: Come on, wikiHow.

PAZ: Be better, wikiHow, with your traced art. Well, we are nefarious but only because we are good.

JULIAN: Right. I'm sensing, again an aquatic theme, which does lean into step six of choosing a habitat.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: What if we're beach cats?

PAZ: Ooh.

JULIAN: [gasps] Yes.

PAZ: Fuck yes.

JULIAN: Here we go. The second sentence of this is "you may be playing in your school playground, but your clan may whisk you away to a beautiful tropical island."

PAZ: Yes, we are in the tropical island.

LIZ: Love that.

JULIAN: On the beach, and we want everyone to come eat fish with us.

PAZ: We're on island time. That's why we're... so friendly.

LIZ: Do cats eat crabs?

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: I think so.

LIZ: We can.

PAZ: [typing] Do cats eat crabs? Yes. Cats can eat crab meat as a treat.

LIZ: Beautiful.

PAZ: Every week we have Crab Day where we eat crabs as a treat.

JULIAN: Can I sell you on the name for our clan?

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Which is CrabClan.

PAZ: Ooh.

LIZ: Yes. Oh my god, time for crab. It's here.

PAZ: Do we want to be like ClawClan?

JULIAN: Oh.

LIZ: I can see that too but... crab.

JULIAN: That seems violent for how we are.

PAZ: We are nefarious.

JULIAN: That's true.

LIZ: We're nefarious because we're nice, though.

JULIAN: Are we overthrowing the clan order?

PAZ: Yes. Okay, we're actually like a community of revolutionary minded cats who have been exiled from the clans. Come to the beach.

JULIAN: Incredible. Come to the beach. We have crabs.

PAZ: CrabClan's good, though.

LIZ: Yeah. If we did do battle I think ClawClan would be also good, but we don't. The only battle we do is with crustaceans.

PAZ: I think we figured out our clan.

LIZ: We love to share resources.

PAZ: We have one more step though.

LIZ: Yeah?

PAZ: Seven.

LIZ: Oh.

PAZ: "Begin role play. Always accept new members. Have fun."

LIZ: All right, for our beloved listeners, if you want to join CrabClan, we welcome you with open arms and claws. Some of these questions at the end are kind of good, community questions.

PAZ: "What if nobody at my school even knows about the books?"

LIZ: [gasps] No.

PAZ: "Try telling your friends about it. Let them read a few books and then ask them if they want to join."

LIZ: "Is Flamepelt a good name? Yes, Flamepelt sounds like a name that would fit an orange cat with an energized or determined personality. Flamebounce or Flamestrike would also fit if you're looking to go exotic."

JULIAN: Same person who asked about Flamepelt also asked, lower down, "Is it okay if I do it by myself and imagine the other cats, or does it have to be with other people?"

LIZ: Oh no. Flamepelt, join our clan.

PAZ: Oh, come join CrabClan. "How long would this take? It could take from one day to two weeks to form your clan." Amateurs.

LIZ: No, no judgments, we are, remember, we're accepting.

PAZ: Oh you're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Maybe I'm the nefarious deputy.

LIZ: I knew it.

JULIAN: Oh, the tips are also really good. "Doing this outdoors will be the best setting as it will be more realistic. You can build caves if you use sheets." Pro tip.

PAZ: "First law of the warrior code is always be loyal to your clan." No. Striking that out of the books.

JULIAN: "If you have a real cat, include them in your plan. Make your cat an apprentice for a real Warrior Cats effect."

PAZ: We did that.

LIZ: We did it.

JULIAN: We've already done that.

PAZ: "Don't actually get into fights with clans."

LIZ: Yeah, that's a founding principle here.

PAZ: "If there is another clan around, make sure they know you're there and that you agree on borders and other important things like that. If you want to be hostile towards each other, make sure no one gets hurt. For prey, you can take little mice, squirrels, birds, etc, stuffed animals and place them around your territory to hunt."

JULIAN: "You can also use goldfish crackers, gummy mice, or any food that looks like clan prey."

LIZ: Wait, I don't remember if this is correct. Someone tell me if it's... isn't there like... so, at Trader Joe's there's like this thing they do where there's a big plastic lobster that they put around like one around the store.

PAZ: Like lobster gummies?

LIZ: No, like a plastic lobster.

JULIAN: I've never heard of this.

LIZ: If a child finds it, they get given a piece of candy.

JULIAN: That's so cute.

LIZ: I don't know if that's... if I'm remembering that correctly, but I have a big plastic lobster on top of my fridge. We could use that.

PAZ: There we go.

JULIAN: Well, there we go. That's our prey. Perfect.

PAZ: Well, I don't know. I think we got this on lock.

Yeah, I think we've created the perfect clan.

PAZ: Should we rate this? 89% of readers found this article helpful. I'm going to give it five stars. Very helpful.

JULIAN: I also found it very helpful.

LIZ: Oh, we forgot the very last tip.

PAZ: Oh.

LIZ: Well, one of the last tips. "Don't attack your clan mates as this can get you banished from the clan." So, better watch out.

PAZ: Wait, hold on, what?

JULIAN: Is that a threat?

LIZ: [laughing] I was the nefarious one all alone. Wait. I'm sorry, there's warnings, different from tips. "Make sure nobody gets hurt. Make sure you don't eat any random berries you find outside. They could be poison."

JULIAN: Well, that's why we have you as the medicine cat apprentice.

LIZ: Moment of respect for the founding of our clan.

PAZ: Paws out for CrabClan.

LIZ: Oh.

JULIAN: Perfect.

LIZ: Oh, we should have like, like how fantasy novels always have like house sayings, we should be like Paws and Claws.

JULIAN: Oh, that is good.

LIZ: Because that's what we have, but it also suggests unity. The image would be a paw shaking hands with a crab claw, even though we do eat them.

JULIAN: I mean, is there any unity greater than eating something?

PAZ: No. Well, I think that ties it up for today. Do people want to like plug their Twitters or something?

JULIAN: Sure. We should also plug the show Twitter.

PAZ: Oh yeah.

JULIAN: Which is @staircast.

PAZ: Staircast on Twitter.com.

LIZ: Because we've got one now.

PAZ: We do.

JULIAN: We sure do. It has beautiful art by Liz.

PAZ: Yes. Well, you can find me @ootron on Twitter. That is o-o-t-r-o-n.

JULIAN: You can find me @shipyrds, without an A. That's ship-y-r-d-s. I did not choose my handle based on podcast pronounceability.

LIZ: You can find me through detective work of your own. I'm not gonna make it easy for you guys.

PAZ: Wow, okay.

JULIAN: Liz is a mystery.

LIZ: Listen, if you want to be a warrior, you have to know how to hunt.

PAZ: Hi everyone, this is Paz from the future. We forgot to plug our email as well and we would love for people to send in questions or fun anecdotes about the series to read next episode. So if you have any, feel free to send them in to [email protected]. Thanks.

So, for next week we're gonna be reading chapter 10 through 14 so for anyone reading along, that's where we'll be at. And I think things are really gonna start popping off. So thanks everyone for joining us today, and may Starclan light your path.

LIZ: Paws and claws.

PAZ: Paws and claws. Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

[outro music]

#transcript #ep 02 #into the wild ep #ass ticks

0 notes

fraink5-writes · 6 years

Text

Human Qualification- Chapter 9

October 5

An appreciated change in tone this chapter.

You can the beautiful accompanying art for this chapter here. Thanks to @4nimenut!

Additionally, thanks to @missmizpah @gracieuxetoile and @deathly-oreos for beta-reading!

Summary: To slowly lose all your functions until you are nothing but a trapped mind in a deteriorated shell, that’s what it means to be ‘No Longer Human.’

This chapter can also be found on Ao3 here. Without further ado, please enjoy!

Chuuya lifted the large box in the air—the last of the five. Dazai simply watched, admiring his partner’s insane strength. “Hey, fucker,” Chuuya turned, the cardboard box resting on his shoulder. “You haven’t done anything. Are you going to move your lazy ass and help?”

“No can do” Dazai shrugged. “You know I can’t lift those.”

“Then you’re going to help unpack, got it?” the redhead barked. “You’re not going to move into my apartment and do nothing.”

“Yes sir!” Dazai faked a salute and followed Chuuya up the stairs.

Upon entry into his apartment, Dazai immediately flopped on the couch. Chuuya had given him the bed to sleep on (out of some unexpected generosity), but Dazai had made both home. This caused quite a grumble from Chuuya.

“Can’t we unpack another day~?” Dazai whined, slowly dropping from his sitting position.

“What? You’re tired already?” Chuuya glared quizzically. “You haven’t done shit.”

“Mhm,” Dazai nodded. “I’m always tired.”

“Sucks for you. We’re beginning today. It’s your fault we waited this long; we should have been done with this last month.”

“Okay, okay. Fine.” Dazai lingered on the sofa a little, embracing its comforting support. For that brief moment, his body had found peace. Until his muscle tugged, and his arm jerked. It was time to get up. He sauntered over to the suitcase Chuuya was sitting by.

“This is all clothes.”

“Yeah, that’s what you put in suitcases.”

“Don’t you have any towels? Other things?”

“In the other suitcase.” Dazai pointed to the other suitcase laying haphazardly on the floor. “Why don’t I deal with the suitcases? You can go through the other boxes.”

“Sure.” Chuuya shrugged and scooted to the nearest box.

Dazai had only begun gently removing his folded clothes from the suitcase when his partner shot him a glare. “This is also clothes.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot. Not all the clothes fit into the suitcases, so I put the rest in a box. I’ll deal with that one too. Pass it here.”

As Dazai tucked away his clothing into the new dresser (which Chuuya had carried in a few days ago), his partner rummaged through the boxes. “Hey,” Chuuya hollered, “don’t you have anything important in here?”

“Yeah?” The executive lumbered back into the room to see what the fuss what about. “What do you mean?”

“This is all random stuff.”

“It’s not random. There’s clothes, books, electronics and personal items, food, and miscellaneous items, like shoes.”

“Food?” Chuuya glared with suspicion at the box Dazai had pointed to before hesitantly prying it open. Inside, upon layers of canned crab meat, there were five bottles of sake, swaddled up delicately like babies. “What the fuck.”

“I decided you have horrible taste in sake.”

“I fucking do not.” Chuuya growled. “Where exactly do you think this is going to go?”

“I’ll take it in my room if you don’t want it.”

“You mean my room. No way. It’s going in the kitchen.”

Slowly the duo unpacked the boxes. The sake joined Chuuya’s wine collection with great reluctance. The books were stacked up lazily on Dazai’s dresser (there was no room elsewhere). The crabmeat stayed in its box, tucked into the corner of the kitchen. All that remained were the personal items. As usual, Chuuya was the first to filter through them (an invasion of privacy Dazai didn’t appreciate), and, as usual, he couldn’t refrain from making unnecessary commentary. “Personal items? These are just Mafia documents.”

“Yeah, and they’re mine. You shouldn’t look through them.” Dazai snatched the binder from the redhead’s hands and went to hide it in his room.

Finding a hiding spot proved to be difficult since Chuuya still considered the room to be his own. He would be in and out of there quite often, and Dazai learned more than he needed to about Chuuya’s hygiene habits (although he’d never understand the singing). Hastily, Dazai threw the binder under the bed: a temporary solution; he’d need to find a better place soon.

Much to his chagrin, Dazai found Chuuya lazing on the couch when he returned. He plopped down and began forcefully leaning, hoping his partner would move. He didn’t.

“You don’t have anything important to you?”

“No. I’m not sentimental.” At this point, Dazai’s head had fallen lifelessly onto the the redhead’s shoulder. In response, Chuuya casually flicked his uneven hair away. He must have grown accustomed to Dazai’s leaning. Had Dazai grown that dependent on him that it became routine?

“No photographs? Nothing?”

“No. Why would I? And why are you making such a big deal of it?” Dazai stared up at Chuuya, hoping he’d drop the subject, but once again, Chuuya responded casually.

“I just think it’s sad, that’s all.”

“What’s the point? I’m going to die soon enough.”

“Yeah, that’s why. Don’t you want something to look back upon? Something to be remembered by?”

“I already have a name to be remembered by.”

“Ugh,” Chuuya groaned. “Something better? Some happy memories?”

“I don’t have those.”

“Are you for fucking real?” Chuuya shot up from his slouch and glowered at Dazai. “Stop being so fucking emo and make some. Just take a photo, and maybe someday it’ll make you happy.”

Chuuya hovered threateningly close, and Dazai was so tired that he didn’t bother to resist. “Okay, fine.”

“Great, you can start tonight. It is Tsukimi, after all.” The redhead lay back on the cushion, leaning slightly against Dazai.

“Hey, Chuuya. That’s annoying.”

“Shut the fuck up. I let you lean without a word. You take my bed, you take my couch; this is what you get.” The shorter man pushed more forcefully, successfully knocking Dazai onto his side, and he continued to hold him down with ease. Dazai grumbled slightly but decided against raising a counter-argument. His body twitched slightly, but Chuuya took no notice.

“Hey, don’t get too comfortable,” Chuuya yawned. “It’s Tsukimi tonight.”

“Chuuya,” Dazai groaned. “I think you’re the one who’s too comfortable.”

“Fuck off.” The redhead effortfully lifted himself from his nap. “I’m going to get ready.”

“For what?”

“... I forgot to make the dango.”

“Chuuya, if you make the dango, the moon will curse us.”

Chuuya grumbled and plodded into the kitchen. Reluctantly, Dazai followed behind. He didn’t want to work with Chuuya, but he wanted even less to eat Chuuya’s dango.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to help.”

“Oh, now you decide to help.” Chuuya rolled his eyes.

As they worked, Chuuya wouldn’t let Dazai touch any of the ingredients. He must have been thinking about the last time… and the time before that, and before that. Dazai aggressively shook the thought out of his head. Those times were just flukes, and Dazai would prove it. He shoved Chuuya away from the bowl and began kneading the dough himself. The dough was difficult to mold under his weakened hands—a depressing revelation—but he wouldn’t let Chuuya see. There was a rhythmic pull in his right arm which made it vibrate subtly like the string of a violin; he wouldn’t let Chuuya see that either.

“Ohh! You’re actually pretty good at that!” Chuuya looked over Dazai’s shoulder with a grin.

“Yeah, I told you.” Dazai smirked over his exhaustion.

When the dough was ready, well mixed and not quite soft, Dazai picked up a small piece to roll into a ball. It fell into the bowl. “Oops. Your turn, Chuuya.” He laughed and stepped aside, secretly glad to be relieved from his duties. Of course, even it was no longer his job, he stuck around, coaching Chuuya every little step of the way. The redhead followed all his advice without question; he probably would have been completely bewildered otherwise. Had he ever made them before? Dazai kept those thoughts to himself and the thoughts about his close proximity to his partner even deeper in his mind, where he could ignore them.

“Well, isn’t this lovely?” Dazai peered into the bottomless obsidian waves crashing besides him. The lights of buildings twinkled in the distance. The black pillars had seemingly vanished in their entirety into the night. Dazai knew Yokohama’s night by heart—every abandoned building, each webbed alley, every crook and criminal—yet from this vantage, it surprised him, dazzling his callous heart.

“I thought I’d do something nice…” The redhead turned away, his cheeks glowing. “Since—you know...”

“Thank you.”

“Don—don’t make me regret this!”

Dazai couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Wait, I want to take a picture.”

“Huh?”

“Since you went out of your way, I want to commemorate it. Besides, I’ll probably never see Yokohama like this again.” A touch of remorse clouded Dazai’s voice.

“Are you okay right now? Saying ‘thank you,’ taking pictures...” Chuuya stared at Dazai with judgemental concern.

“Smile!”

Chuuya grinned for a second (just enough time) before blowing up. “Wait—I thought you’d be taking pictures of Yokohama!”

“I am,” Dazai said nonchalantly. He promptly turned to snap some photos, ignoring the seething redhead.

When he finished, Dazai directed his attention to the main attraction, the moon. It shone its own spotlight, all the stars left in the dark. Dazai had never given it much attention before; he didn’t care about light. Even as he examined it, he found the shadows to be much more interesting. What did their darkness conceal? According to legend, a rabbit. Dazai chuckled at the thought. All up in space alone, a rabbit, making mochi. The rabbits’ mochi was probably better than his partner’s. Could he send Chuuya up to get lessons? Maybe leave him there?

Chuuya was at a much closer distance than the moon, sitting right across from Dazai. Slowly, he turned the oars of their boat, singing a soft melody to himself. Even under the moonlight, his hair glowed subtly, complimented by the deep red of his kimono. Dazai thought Chuuya had overdressed for the occasion, but he wasn’t going to object.

“Isn’t the moon supposed to be your focus?” Chuuya stopped rowing and glared at the brunet.

“Once you look at it for a few minutes, it becomes pretty boring. I was just admiring your kimono, which, by the way, is a horrible idea for a boat ride.”

“How long before you lose interest and leave me alone?”

“You’re making it difficult. Even your face is the same color now.” Dazai scooted in with the intent of further embarrassing Chuuya. “Chuuya’s so fun when he acts like that...” The words dropped thoughtlessly from his lips as his mind drifted to a different place. Chuuya’s eyes seemed to glow, having captured the entire moon in their deep, blue irises. They captivated Dazai, and he leaned in for a closer look. And closer still. Until his breath mingled with Chuuya’s and he could feeling the warmth radiating from his skin. Those eyes had hypnotized him.

Dazai snapped out of his transfixion and lurched back.

“Dazai?”

Dazai couldn’t bear to look again at those bewitching eyes and stared instead into the moon’s rippling image on the waves. “The moon sure is beautiful, isn’t it?”

Chuuya hesitated a moment (which Dazai greatly appreciated) before responding. “I thought you lost interest?”

“Well, it’s more interesting in the water.” Dazai lied. It was no different.

“I’m going to row back now.”

“Yeah, good plan.”

Time passed indefinitely as the pair sat in silence—no humming, not even the ticking of a clock. Only the waves dared to move and make sound. Except, then the stillness was interrupted. Dazai’s arm twitched. First once, then several consecutive times. Hastily, he grabbed it with his other arm, hoping to silence the movements.

Unfortunately, this action also grabbed Chuuya’s attention. “All you are all right?” Irritation leaked through his tone more than sympathy.

“Yeah, this is nothing.” Dazai’s right arm squirmed slightly in his grip.

“We need to get back. That’s not fucking good at all.”

“It’ll pass.” Or at least, Dazai wished. His nearly infallible logic told him otherwise.

Chuuya hastened the speed of his rowing, muttering an unfollowable monologue under his breath. He seemed to embarrass himself in the process, something which would have normally made Dazai snicker, but his mind was too weighed-down for light-hearted entertainment. The thought of Chuuya’s pity made his whole body want to writhe. He didn’t want Chuuya of all people to view him like that. He wanted Chuuya’s respect. If Chuuya were to look at him any differently, he didn’t want it to be out of pity; he wanted—the incident from before popped into Dazai’s mind: the radiance of Chuuya’s eyes, the softness of his voice. Dazai rapidly shut down his imagination before it drifted too far from his accepted reality. On second thought, Dazai wanted nothing more than to stop thinking altogether.

Notes:

Tsukimi （月��）is the harvest moon viewing festival. The tradition dates back to the Heian period. The aristocratic class would compose and recite poetry while looking at the full moon. Sometimes this tradition took place on boats, hence Chuuya's decision to take Dazai on a boat ride (even though modern celebrations are usually more casual). During Tsukimi, special dango and seasonal produce are offered to the moon as well as eaten. According to Japanese legend, there is a rabbit who makes mochi on the moon, put there by the Moon God. You can learn more about Tsukimi and the rabbit on the moon here.

← Previous All Next →

#Bungou Stray Dogs #Soukoku #Human Qualification #Dazai Osamu #Nakahara Chuuya

14 notes · View notes