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thefallennightmare · 3 hours

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The Promise-Andy Biersack

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Andy Biersack x OFC

Warnings: smut, language, angst(lots of it), a smidge of fluff, mentions of abuse, alcoholism.

Summary: High school was supposed to be some of the best years of a teenager's life; except for River. Those four years were hell, the only one that got her through it was her best friend, Andy. She thought he'd be by her side after graduation but after one night of giving each other something so treasured, life took both of them in different directions.

Almost ten years later, River and Andy meet again in a way neither of them expected.

Authors Note: This is my first time writing Andy Biersack but I'm very excited! As of now, it is a one-shot but might consider continuing it if people are interested!

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @mitchhbitch @concreteangel92 @flowery-mess @cookiesupplier @poppy-in-the-woods @viofcrows @sprokat @srorgana1 @bloody-delusion-expert

“You don’t ever have to be alone, River,” his soothing voice cooed in my ear as he cupped my cheek.

I looked up at him through the tears and choked on a sob. “Promise you’ll stay with me?”

He smiled that smile I fell in love with years ago. “I promise.”

The sounds of yelling pulled me out of my thoughts in time to see a group of teenagers running past me on the street, youthful smiles on their faces.

If they only knew what the future for them held.

With the setting sun grazing over the streets of Hollywood as people made their way home from school or work, I was headed to work with my camera bag hanging on my shoulder and phone in my hand. I had the Maps app up giving me directions where I needed to go. It was going to be a long night at work for this music video shoot and I was already on my third cup of coffee, the feeling of caffeine still not flowing through my system.

I spent the morning and afternoon bouncing between different shoots from clients and when I remembered I had booked this job taking pictures of a band's music video tonight, I cut the last photoshoot short by only a few minutes to make it in time.

The company that booked me for this video shoot, Industrialism Films, didn’t tell me much about who the band was. They just told me to show up at seven p.m. and start working as soon as I was set up. It was going to be an all-night event and I needed to make sure to get shots of everyone in the band.

Hence the third cup of coffee.

It also hadn't helped that my mind had been plagued with memories of high school even ten years after graduation. Usually, I was great at pushing away those awful memories but the last few nights, those images of my past life kept clawing at me, dragging me down to the depths. I spent so long trying to crawl out of it and breathe that fresh air I desperately craved those four years of hell.

The bullying.

Eating alone in the bathroom stalls.

The feeling of being so alone, I cried myself to sleep every night.

The desperation of my home being a haven away from the mocking at school, only to have it worse there.

Every single day of high school was miserable; except for one person.

Him.

My best friend and first everything; Andy.

Until he left you to deal with the beatings alone so he could succeed with his band.

Screwing my eyes shut tight to forget the sound of my dad's skin on mine, I turned the corner, and a large church and steps came into view. There were ropes blocked off around the perimeter, keeping outsiders away. As I reached a security guard, I pulled out my I.D. to show him.

“River Murray. I’m the photographer,” I said.

The guard glanced down to my I.D. then to the list in his hands and with a gruff of response, he let me walk past the ropes.

“Have a great night,” I mumbled under my breath.

Bodies were moving everywhere, and people were screaming over one another, but I was able to find the director of the shoot pretty quickly. He showed me a trailer where I could set up my things and once I was settled, I could start working. They didn’t care what pictures I shot, just as long as I got a lot of the band.

“Who’s the band?” I asked Vincent, the director while setting my camera bag on the table inside the trailer.

“Bloody veils? No that’s not right,” he scratched at the beard on his chin, trying to remember. “I don’t know. It's some metal band. I’ve only met them once before but they’re nice guys. It’s for their song Saviour II.”

I nodded. “So I have free reign around here? As long as I don’t get in the shot right?”

Vincent smiled. “You’ve worked on music video shoots before?”

“Once or twice,” I shrugged. “I worked with Bad Omens on one and some local bands another time.”

“Bad Omens?” He whistled low. “They’re one of the hottest bands right now. I’m surprised you aren't working with them.”

“I dated their current photographer for a few months. He set up the shoot with them to help build up my portfolio,” I shifted on my feet, suddenly feeling uncomfortable divulging too much about my life to this stranger.

A loud crackle and static came through Vincent’s radio. “Veil Brid-. They’re here.”

My heart stuttered in my chest for the briefest of moments but told myself to take a breath. It couldn’t be him; the radio cut off before finishing who was here, I was just in my head.

“You’re beautiful, River,” he mused while kissing every inch of my bruised skin.

Vincent clapped his hands which caused me to jump out of my thoughts and blinked wildly.

“Alright, I’ve got to meet the boys and show them their trailers to get ready. Head out whenever you’re ready. There’s a radio for you on the table in case we need to communicate with you tonight.”

“Sure,” I did my best to nod with a smile.

Once alone, I sat on the couch in the trailer and went about assembling my camera, doing a few test shots. The past kept trying to crawl its way back into the present, doing its best to render me useless, but I wouldn’t allow it.

Well, I tried to anyway.

“You’re worthless.”

“Piece of shit daughter. I should have dropped you off with your mother years ago.”

“The only thing you’re good for is being a punching bag. But you can’t even do that right.”

A swift kick to my ribs sent me flying across the room.

Choking on a sob, I dug my palms into my eyes hoping that would force out those thoughts.

“I haven’t thought of Dad in years but now he’s overtaking every part of me again,” I sighed to myself.

Not feeling quite ready to leave the trailer yet, I fixed myself in the reflection of the mirror by tying my long black hair into a tight French braid and cleaned up my makeup a bit. The scar underneath my right eye was faint but visible to this day almost eleven years later. No matter how much makeup I wore to cover it, it was still a reminder of not only the best day of my life but also the worst day.

“River, we need you on set.”

“Be right there,” I said into the radio before clicking it to the belt of my jeans, and with my camera around my neck, I bounded down the steps of the trailer.

By now the sun had set and the moon shone overhead so I stopped in my tracks for a moment to take a few shots of it before walking into the church where there was a large gathering of people. On the altar of the church were a set up of drums, guitars, an orchestra, and a microphone stand.

After snapping a picture of it, I turned on my heels when I heard Vincent call my name.

“River, I’d like you to meet the band. I figured you’d want to get some pictures of them before we start shooting.”

I looked over the picture I had just taken of the drum set, something vaguely familiar about the logo, but then glanced up at the five men standing in front of me; the one in the middle with the bright gray eyes immediately catching my gaze.

My breath caught in my throat as I nearly tripped over my feet when his jaw went slack, the familiarity slapping both of us in the face.

“River?”

The richness of his voice brought back all of those other memories I did my best to push away. I stood frozen, unable to move or say anything, while my brain tried to catch up on the man that stood in front of me; the one I hadn’t seen in ten years.

The one that broke his promise.

“Andy.”

Highschool. Senior year. One week before graduation.

I pounded on the bedroom window as the rain assaulted me with no end in sight, drenching me from head to toe. The rain mixed with the salty tears that rolled down my cheeks as I continued to beat my palm against the glass while standing on the makeshift ladder we made of three cinder blocks. I needed a way to reach his window in times like this. There was no way I could walk through his front door looking like this where his parents could see and ask questions.

“Damn it, Andy! Wake up!” I cried, still pounding on the window.

The storm was a constant onslaught of rain, lightning, and thunder, so I knew it was hard for him to hear me. But that didn’t stop me.

Finally, after a few minutes of crying and pounding on the window, Andy’s sleep-filled eyes stared at me through the curtain covering his window. I saw all the emotions run through his intense gaze.

Confusion.

Realization.

And when he gave my face one long once over, the emotion that crossed the soft features of his face, I knew there was no way I’d be able to excuse my dad’s actions this time.

Anger.

“River,” his voice instantly soothing me when he opened the window, helping me inside. “What the fuck happened?”

My body convulsed in shivers and I wrapped my arms around me to help keep some of my body heat.

“I–I-I’m fi-fine,” my teeth chattered loudly in the quiet room.

“Bullshit,” Andy spat while running a hand through his long black hair. “You’ve got a nasty cut under your eye and your lip is busted.”

Now with the rain not washing away the blood, I could taste the bitter crimson on my lips and felt it pooling in my eye. I didn’t have to look at myself to know that the cut was deep and needed stitches.

Typically, my dad made sure to hit me in places that I could easily hide. But tonight was different. I told him that once I graduated, I had plans to leave Ohio and move to North Carolina to start over; fresh.

“Not with my money,” he spat.

Literally.

When I told him I didn’t need his money and that I had other plans, he snorted while stubbing out his cigarette.

“With that little boyfriend of yours? Sweety, he’ll drop you the second you follow him to that big fancy city.”

“Fuck you!” I screamed. “You know nothing about Andy!”

My cursing set him off and that's when the first slap happened, causing my busted lip. This time, I fought back, but in the end, it didn’t matter. My dad’s strength overpowered me as he threw me across the floor, face skidding along some of the broken glass from the cup I had thrown at him before.

Hence the nasty cut underneath my eye.

Andy’s sighing brought me back and I then noticed he was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. I’d seen him like this many times before since we were best friends but something about seeing him like this tonight, made my insides burn low.

I’d had a crush on him since freshman year when he stepped between me and Alexa Dread from taking my camera and breaking it; again. Ever since that day, Andy and I were inseparable. We knew everything about each other and we always confided in each other about our feelings.

Just not for each other.

My feelings for him began to grow with each passing day but I had to watch him date girls that weren’t me with a fake smile because I needed to be happy for my best friend.

He’d never feel the same way and that was something I came to terms with a while ago.

My eyes grazed over the scattered ink on his arms, the random designs always taking my breath away. He was eighteen so was able to get the tattoos without the permission of his parents.

I, however, was one month shy of turning eighteen and I’d been counting down the days. Ready to run from all of this the minute the clock struck midnight.

“Fuck, River. You’re shaking,” Andy’s hand reached for me, leading me to the adjacent bathroom off of his bedroom.

“I d-didn’t know wh-where el-se to go-go,” I did my best to speak over my body shaking.

He hushed me with a gentle squeeze of my hand. “You know you can always come here. You always have a place here, Riv.”

I swallowed thickly at his nickname for me.

“You need to shower but I want to clean that cut first,” he motioned towards the soaked clothes that were clinging to me like a second skin. “Take them off.”

I stilled at his words. While Andy had no problem walking around in his underwear around me, I, on the other hand, could not muster up that kind of courage.

“I can’t,” I shook my head.

His bright eyes narrowed through the thickness of his black hair. “Either you take those clothes off or I will. The last thing you need right now is to catch pneumonia.”

Gnawing on the inside of my cheek, I still didn’t make a move, which caused Andy to sigh.

“I’ll turn around so you can undress, and keep your bra and underwear on. I’ll keep my face on yours when I clean your cut,” he reassured me with a gentle smile.

“Okay,” I said finally.

Before he turned around, Andy turned on the shower so the steam could fill the bathroom and keep me warm while he cleaned the cut. Staying true to his word, he turned his back to me, and as quick as I could, I ripped off the wet clothes. The sound it made falling to the tiled floor made me cringe and I covered myself with my arms.

My bra and underwear were not cute, nothing he’d seen his past girlfriends wear, so to say I was embarrassed was an understatement. A simple pair of black cotton panties and a red bra.

“You can turn around,” I said softly.

Andy slowly turned around and kept his eyes straight ahead on my face as he motioned to the closed toilet seat. While I sat, I watched his back muscles contort as he rummaged around underneath the sink for the first aid kit.

“Won't your parents wonder why you’re taking a shower at two in the morning?” I asked.

He snorted his laughter, still rummaging underneath the sink. “They would never question why their teenage son would be taking a shower in the middle of the night.”

“Huh?” I said, utterly confused.

Andy glanced up at me from his kneeling position with his brows raised and a playful smirk. Suddenly, it clicked on what he meant.

“Oh, right,” I muttered low; the image of his hand around his cock pumping it slowly then fast replaying in my mind like a movie.

I’d never seen him do that but I’d thought about it a handful of times.

“This might sting a bit,” Andy said, kneeling in front of me now; his eyes remaining on my face.

“I’ve had worse,” I tried to joke but the stern look from him made my shoulders fall and I muttered an apology.

“You need to leave home, River,” he said while soaking a cotton pad in peroxide.

I shook my head. “And go where? I have no money and no other relatives that will take me in.”

“You know my parents will let you stay in the guest room for as long as you need.”

I snorted. “Right. I don’t think your girlfriend would like the idea of me staying down the hall from you.”

Andy’s eyes snapped away from the cotton ball to my face. “We broke up.”

I did my best to keep a straight face when my heart nearly soared out of my chest.

“When?”

“The other day. She wanted to have sex and I said no so she broke up with me,” his voice told me that he wasn't upset about it.

My brows furrowed together. “You said no to sex with Ashley Jenks? You’re not sick are you?”

I made a play of touching his forehead with the back of my hand, our laughter echoing in the small bathroom.

“No,” he grabbed my hand, not letting it go right away. “I’m not going to give my virginity to the first girl that throws themself at me. Or in this case, the fourth.”

I blinked. “You’re still a virgin?”

Andy finally let go of my hand and I frowned at the loss of warmth.

“I know it’s shocking but call me old school. I’m waiting until I find the right person.”

Our eyes met in an intense battle of who would look away first but neither of us was faltering.

“I am too,” I said quietly.

For the briefest of moments, I saw his eyes widen before he played it off by holding up the soaked cotton ball.

“I’m sorry for the sting.”

I urged him on with a nod and didn’t even flinch when the cool liquid met my skin finally as Andy cleaned the cut on my cheek. Silence fell between us as he then cleaned the dried blood on my face and when his warm breath fanned over the cut to dry it, I nearly melted into him; skin rising with goosebumps.

“I don’t think you’ll need stitches,” he murmured while looking closely at the cut.

I sucked in a breath when I realized his lips were mere meters from mine and dared a glance down to his full lips. They were practically begging to be kissed and I wanted to be the one to do it.

“I’ll put a bandaid on it after my shower,” I said.

With me still sitting on the toilet and Andy kneeling in front of me, I spread my legs wide so he was able to get as close as he could to cleaning the cut. Now that he was finished, it was as if he had no idea where to place his hands so they rested on the wall behind me, his long body leaning over me.

“You’re not going back tonight, River,” his voice was deep as he stared down at me.

With shaking fingers, I brushed away the strands of hair from his face so I could see those gray eyes.

“I know.”

I tracked the movement of his Adam's apple as it bobbed low when he swallowed, his eyes finally grazing lower than my face. Down to the swell of my breasts and the slight pudge of skin around my stomach.

I wasn't the skinniest of girls, another reason why I was bullied, but Andy never commented on it.

“You should get in the shower,” his voice broke the trance between us. “Your lips are blue.”

When his finger ghosted over my mouth, I let out a soft moan desperately wanting to feel the pressure of his touch everywhere.

Suddenly like a ghost, Andy had vanished from the bathroom back into his bedroom, leaving me all alone. Since the door was now shut, I rose from the toilet and stripped out of my remaining clothes.

The hot water stung like a blade against my sore skin and I groaned out in pleasure. I didn’t want to take a long shower only because the water had already been running for a while before stepping beneath it. I washed away the memories of today with Andy’s soap and wrapped a towel around me after I stepped out of the shower.

“Shit, what am I supposed to wear?” I grumbled to myself.

Slowly opening the bathroom door, the light burst into Andy’s bedroom and lit up his form lounging on his bed reading a Batman comic.

“Andy,” I said while shuffling my feet and clutching the towel close to my chest. “I don’t have any clothes.”

Setting the comic down, he hopped off the bed and went across the room, opening the drawers of his dresser to pull out a pair of boxers and a shirt.

“We’ll swing by your house at some point tomorrow to grab you some clothes. You’ll stay here for the weekend,” he said while standing in front of me.

I took the clothes with one hand. “Thank you.”

Before in the bathroom, Andy made sure not to look at the bruises covering my skin but now, he made sure to take in every single one that he could see.

The fingers imprinted around my neck.

The bruise on my shoulder, left arm, and legs.

These were the ones that he could see. The ones underneath the towel around me were worse.

His jaw ticked with the anger he so desperately tried to keep within, knowing that one outburst from him would cause me to fall into myself.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” I whispered.

Andy’s eyes were dark but his voice was gentle. “Let me see all of it.”

I vigorously shook my head. “I’m fine, Andy. I just want to get dressed and go to sleep.”

All at once, I felt my body being pressed up against the wall and the towel falling to the floor at my feet. Andy’s gaze ignited as he pressed his hips against mine causing a shockwave throughout my body. His clothed cock brushed along my bare clit and I let out a moan while my eyes fluttered shut.

“Riv.”

My eyes snapped open when I felt his hand cup my cheek. Tears burned at the corners and he gently wiped them away with the pad of his thumb.

“Please,” I begged. “Don’t look. They’re ugly. I’m ugly.”

The burning anger in his iris softened at my cries but still kept me locked in place against the wall with his hips.

“You’re beautiful, angel,” he admitted with a steady voice.

Angel.

It was Andy’s nickname for me ever since sophomore year when I dressed up as a fallen angel for Halloween. We were too old to go trick or treating but not cool enough for parties so we both decided to get dressed up and spend the night in his basement getting drunk.

It was also the night I had my first kiss. We were sitting on the couch in his basement, a few drinks in, and I had my head resting on Andy’s shoulder trying so hard to stay awake for the horror movie he put on. When I looked up at him, I was shocked to see that he was already staring at me and the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. It was a short kiss, over before I could enjoy it.

“Shit, sorry,” he apologized. “I drank too much.”

We never talked about that kiss after that night, both of us burying it away; much to my dismay.

“I’m not,” I cast my eyes away from him.

His warm breath fanned across the crook of my neck as he peppered kisses on the bruises there.

“Let me show you.”

Yet again our eyes locked with intensity, so fierce it set the space around us on fire. Andy’s hand moved down my cheek, over my neck, and the space between my breasts. I bit back a moan when his finger and thumb rolled one of my perked nipples between them.

“Will you let me show you?” He asked, nuzzling his face in my neck.

I licked my lips. “What about waiting for the right person?”

“She’s already in front of me,” Andy admitted before crashing his lips to mine.

My body had come alive with his touch and everything I wanted since freshman year was coming to fruition. Andy wanted me just as much as I wanted him. Our lips synced together perfectly, never missing a beat, as he lifted me and carried me to his bed.

That night, we both gave each other something we held so dear to ourselves. Afterward, as we lay together with our naked bodies tangled underneath his sheets, Andy pressed a kiss to my forehead when I cried in his chest, scared to go back home once Monday morning came.

“I hate being alone there. I’m afraid he’ll go too far and kill me.”

“You don’t ever have to be alone, River,” his soothing voice cooed in my ear as he cupped my cheek.

I looked up at him through the tears and choked on a sob. “Promise you’ll stay with me?”

He smiled that smile I fell in love with years ago. “I promise.”

Andy lied.

Four days later, he packed up his entire life and moved to Hollywood without a simple goodbye.

PRESENT DAY.

“River?”

I blinked while shaking my head, trying to gather my bearings again. The past had sucked me in whole, forcing me to relive that night over again. I couldn't believe Any was standing in front of me again after all these years, the moonlight breaking through the stained glass windows of the church bathed him in a glow made for kings. Even though he looked different than the last time I’d seen him, with more tattoos and shorter hair; tonight he had a small white patch in his hair. I could vaguely make out the old lip-piercing hole and I remembered how the cool metal tasted against my tongue when we kissed.

He, along with the guys around him, were dressed in their outfits for the video, so I was able to see the tattoos that littered his neck, chest, and stomach. However, those eyes were still the same.

Those haunting gray eyes stared into the soul I previously just captured again as he waited for me to say something.

Do I play it off like I don't remember him?

Right, like you could forget the guy that took your virginity.

Do I ignore him and go about work like a professional?

How is ignoring the person you’re supposed to be working with professional?

I was starting to grow tired of the little voice inside my head.

Vincent glanced between Andy and me, pointing a finger. “Do you two know each other?”

“We went to high school together,” Andy answered before I could.

“No shit,” Vincent chuckled. “What a small world.”

“Right,” I snorted venomously.

Andy’s eyes sliced into me but I ignored him by giving him my back and looking over at Vincent.

“I’ll get shots of them later. Radio me when you’re ready.”

When he nodded, I took that as my cue to leave although I made it only a few steps before my name was called from behind.

“You’re not even going to say hello, Riv.”

I spun so fast on my heels, the end of my braid snapped to the other side of my face and I pointed a finger at Andy.

“I’m not doing this with you. Not here and especially not right now. Both of us have a job to do. Let’s keep it that way.”

One of the guys next to Andy watched us carefully and I could practically see the light click on above his head.

“Wait, River as in River from high school,” the guy said.

“Yeah, Jinxx,” Andy answered before taking a step towards me.

I took a large step away from him. “I already said I’m here to do my job, that’s it.”

Before he could try and sweet talk his way into my life, just like that night, I turned back around and marched out of the church, calling back that I was going to take some shots of it.

Once outside, I let the cold night air brush the hot tears away from my face as my heart nearly burst out from my chest, sobs echoing throughout the vastness of the sky.

No. This cannot be happening.

For the last nine years, I spent my life crying over that man, wondering what I did wrong that night to make him leave me behind. He promised to stay with me but still left.

Was I not good enough? Worthy of being by his side?

Nine years I spent stuck in Ohio wondering why with the bitter taste of Hennessy, drinking away my sorrows and regrets. It wasn’t until a year ago when I finally questioned myself in the reflection of the bottle that I took whatever money I had left from selling my father's house after he died to move across the county to California.

The last year I spent building myself up to the women I was now and creating my career empire with my photography. I refused to let the past crumble everything I worked so hard for; no matter how good he looked now or how bad I wanted to taste his lips again.

“Get a hold of yourself,” I seethed. “He left you.”

The sound of music from inside blasted through the walls of the church letting me know that they started shooting and choosing not to dwell on Andy showing back up into my life, I took a few shots of the church outside. Then I reluctantly walked back inside knowing I couldn’t avoid him forever and decided to get some pictures of the guys.

Andy’s eyes quickly found me but I did my best to ignore him by hiding behind my camera. His voice erupted through the speakers and it brought back every single time during music class in high school when he would sing in front of the class or solo for me in his bedroom.

My bottom lip trembled as I blew out a shaky breath while walking over to where Vincent sat, just as he yelled cut.

“Did you get your shots?” He wondered.

Clicking back through all of the pictures, I pursed my lips at the realization that while I got great shots of the other band members, I hadn’t gotten any shots of Andy mostly because I avoided him at all costs.

“I need some of Andy,” I said with a long breath.

“No problem. I think we got everything we need with this scene. Next up is the scene of him sitting in the pew alone so you can get them now,” Vincent patted my shoulder as he stood from the chair.

“Lovely,” I grumbled while walking back towards the altar of the church directly in Andy’s path.

He was talking with one of his band members but when he caught sight of me, he met me halfway.

“Riv,” he began.

“Don’t,” I seethed, walking past him. “You lost the right to call me that when you left me.”

“Can I explain please?” Andy asked while reaching for my elbow.

I yanked it out of his grasp, ready to move to the opposite side of the church when his voice halted me.

“Angel.”

Whirling around so fast, I nearly dropped my camera to the ground when I pushed him in his chest.

“Don’t you fucking ever call me that again!” I nearly screamed. “You don’t have the right to call me that.”

Anytime I heard that name, all I would think about was our first kiss and the night we slept together.

His eyes softened, almost begging me to listen. “Please, angel. I have to explain-.”

“NO!” My voice echoed inside the church. “There’s nothing to explain, Andy. Anything that comes out of your mouth is a lie.”

“Do you guys need a moment?” Vincent’s voice carried over to us.

“No!”

“Yes!”

Andy and I both said at the same time.

“You know what, I think a break is a good idea. Let’s take thirty and come back,” Vincent directed to everyone with a wave of a finger.

Having every intention of spending that thirty minutes alone in my trailer, I brushed past Andy and nearly tripped over my feet as I ran down the concrete steps, the vision of my solace getting closer and closer. Just before I could slam the door shut behind me, it closed on a body with an audible ouch.

“Leave me alone, Andy!” I yelled.

He stood tall in the small confines of the trailer, his broad chest heaving with each deep breath from chasing after me. His bare chest underneath his opened jacket and for a second, I allowed myself to study those visible tattoos. The eagle on his sternum, the sword in the crease of his stomach, the tiger neck to it. I couldn’t make out the tattoo across his neck or chest but I could make out the 26 in a hear on his neck.

“Not until you let me explain,” he said.

I grabbed the end of my braid, ripping it out so my dark hair could fall around my shoulders.

“I swear to fucking God himself, if you say explain one more time I’m going to-.”

“Do what, angel?” He raised a brow while resting his hands on his hips.

I pointed to the door. “Get out.”

Andy didn’t move.

“You're unbelievable,” I growled while making a beeline for the door instead, only to have him block my path.

“I had to leave.”

I blinked up at him, mouth agape. “What?”

We were so close now, his familiar scent encasing me with its vise grip, and my mind kept screaming at me to create space.

He ran a hand over his short hair and took a deep breath. “I had to leave. That Monday morning after you left, I got a call from an agent in Los Angeles offering me a small gig in a commercial. It's what I needed to get my foot in the door, to get Black Veil Brides started, so I took it. But I had to be out there the day after they called me.”

“So you left me behind, without a single fucking goodbye,” I sneered, pushing past him to the other side of the trailer.

“I didn’t have a choice!” Andy’s voice was raised now, it echoing off the walls.

“You could have told me! You know I would have followed you!” I shot back.

He began pacing the narrow space while having his hands on his hips. “I couldn’t, River. Not without knowing that everything would have paid off in the end. I couldn’t have you with me while I suffered.”

I chuckled dryly. “Oh but suffering back home alone was fine with you?”

“I wanted to reach out and check on how you were doing,” his shoulders slumped.

“My number has been the same,” I held out my hands. “I lived in the same fucking house for nine years after you left. You could have come to see me.”

When he said nothing, his lips unmoving, I grew angrier and pushed his chest, ten years of holding everything in finally exploding.

“You lied!”

Push.

“You left me with him to beat on me for another three fucking years until he died!”

Push.

“You made me a promise and broke it!”

I cried with one final push, causing Andy to fall back onto the couch, stormy eyes staring up at me. Tears were streaming down my face and my eyes burned with anger for the man in front of me.

“You told me you would never leave me,” I snarled through gritted teeth. “You said you wouldn’t and you fucking did.”

When he reached for my hand, I smacked it away.

“Please, angel,” he begged. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. But I wasn’t in the best place. I couldn’t have you be with me, seeing all that shit. You didn’t deserve any of that.”

“Just tell me all you wanted from me was sex so I can finally put the nail in the coffin, Andy,” I said with a shaky breath.

His face fell. “That’s not even remotely true, River.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway. After tonight, you’ll go back to your band and life as a rockstar.”

With my back turned, I gathered my camera and was ready to get back to work when an arm wrapped around me from behind.

“Come with me, angel,” Andy’s soft voice brushed along the shell of my ear.

When I felt myself falling into his embrace, almost ready to give in, I pushed away from him. He made me so mad I could throw something at him. My camera or the chair.

Myself.

“You’re insane,” I shook my head.

He linked our hands together so I could face him, the pleading bright in his eyes. “Give me a chance to make up for the last ten years.”

I stared blankly at him, trying to determine if this was a cruel trick.

“You don’t deserve my time, Andy. What we used to have is gone, you can’t fix it or try to bring it back.”

“You’re not even going to let me try?” He asked.

“Why should I? So that you can break my heart again? You don’t realize how much of myself I gave to you; parts I can never take back. You were my first kiss!” I raised my voice.

He blinked. “I didn’t know that.”

I scoffed while shaking my head again. “Of course you didn’t, Andy. Because you never brought it up again. You blamed it on the alcohol that night. What’s your excuse for the night we lost our virginity to each other?”

Before Andy could speak, I waved him off and headed towards the door of the trailer.

“It’s not even worth it anymore,” I muttered with my hand on the handle.

Suddenly in a whirlwind, I felt myself being hoisted up and pressed against the bathroom door. Those dark gray eyes were reading my face, assessing every movement of my gaze as it burned into him. Andy held my hands pinned to my sides and kept me locked into place with his hips. The imprint of his cock was felt against the material of my leggings and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep the moan quiet.

It’d been so long since I felt his touch and I was ready to throw out everything, all of my morals, just to have him again.

“River,” his hand cupped my cheek, the coolness of his rings almost a shock to my warm skin.

I said nothing, simply glaring up at him with a clenched jaw.

“Riv. Come with me.”

AnDy breathed over my lips and I nearly lost it. But I still kept strong, not wanting to be the first one to falter. I worked so hard to build myself back up after he left and there was no way I could allow myself to fall.

Not again.

His thumb lifted my chin, keeping it locked in his grip, and his eyes dropped to my lips; a silent question.

“Fuck you,” I spat.

Something dark flashed in Andy’s eyes as a sinister smirk played on his lips. One that I recognized all too well even though it was never directed at me.

“I don’t ever remember you being such a brat,” he tsked.

I swallowed thickly, unsure how the tension between us went from anger to sexual, but at that moment with him eyeing me hungrily, I didn’t want to question it.

“How could you remember? You’ve been gone for ten years,” I shot back.

Andy pressed his hips harder against me and this time I wasn’t able to hold back the moan. It slipped through my lips with sheer pleasure and I let my head fall against the door behind me.

“I wasn’t drunk the night we slept together, River,” Andy’s hand wrapped around my neck, thumb now on my pulse point. “Or that entire weekend.”

My cheeks flushed when I remembered we had sex multiple times that weekend. We never left his bedroom and thankfully, his parents left the next morning for a friend's wedding so they had no idea I was there.

“All I ever wanted was you,” his voice was low.

I raised my chin at him. “You have a funny way of showing it.”

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, an action I watched intently, and then his voice dropped even lower. Those usually bright eyes were dark and it made the air thick, heated, and full of spice. It made it harder to breathe as his grip tightened around my throat slightly.

“Let me show you.”

Those four words sent both of us back to his bedroom during high school and just like that night, I succumbed to the darkness that was Andy Biersack; consequences be damned.

“Are you still waiting for the right person?” My question was a breath over his lips.

A low noise rumbled in Andy’s chest as his hand gripped behind my neck, yanking my mouth to his.

“She’s right in front of me.”

Every single doubt and fight I had within me vanished the second our lips touched, those familiar fireworks exploding. My hands were all over Andy; his neck, chest, ribs, and back as they sneaked underneath his jacket. While one of his hands continued to grip the back of my neck, the other held tight on my hip so I couldn’t leave.

As if I wanted to.

Our tongues molded together and he swallowed my moan when his teeth bit down on my bottom lip. For a moment, reality struck with clarity and I pushed Andy off of me, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand.

“You need to leave,” I warned, breathless.

His lips were kiss swollen and his jacket was falling off of his shoulders as those stormy eyes never left my lips.

“Do you want that? Because if you do, I’ll leave right now.”

When I remained silent, Andy smirked while grasping the back of my head to crash his lips on mine again, this time with more hunger. It was as if he was a man starved, desperate for his last meal.

“You need to go,” I groaned when his lips began trailing down my chin and neck.

“Go where?” He asked. “Here?”

A gentle bite to the shell of my ear.

“Or here?”

A kiss on the sensitive part of my skin between my neck and shoulder which caused me to shiver in his embrace.

“What about here, angel? Do you want me here?”

The head of his cock brushed along my clit from underneath our clothes and I nearly fell at his feet until Andy’s strong arms lifted me to carry me over to the small twin-size bed on the other end of the trailer.

“It’s like we're back in my childhood bedroom with this small ass bed,” he grumbled.

I fell onto the cheap mattress with a slight giggle but it was hushed with Andy consuming me once more. My entire soul went up in a fiery blaze when he began rutting his hips into me and it was as if we were a couple of teenagers again making out and thinking that was the best part of it. We couldn’t keep our hands off of each other as I helped him out of his jacket and he all but ripped my sweater off, leaving me in an olive green bralette.

His eyes darkened before he left teeth marks between the swell of my breasts, lapping up his saliva and dried sweat from the day and I raked my nails through the buzzed hair.

“I miss your long hair,” I gasped, feeling his tongue slip between the material of my bra and catching my nipple.

“I’ve missed the way you tasted, River,” Andy mused while kissing his way back up to my lips.

This time the kiss was slow, as if we had the rest of our lives together and there was no need to rush anything. It was like he was trying to imprint me into him, never wanting to forget anything again.

I reached for the button on his pants, pulling down the zipper to slip my hand inside, palming his hard cock.

Holy. Shit.

It was a lot thicker than ten years ago.

“Shit, Riv,” he cursed when I squeezed him. “Just like that.”

I did it a few more times while his forehead fell to my chest, panting his warm breath over my skin. I lifted his face with my other hand to kiss him again, the savageness poured out of him.

The room smelled of our desperation as I shimmied out of my leggings while he stepped out of his pants, after unhooking my bra and tossing it over his shoulder. As Andy stood at the end of the bed, I let my eyes rake over every defined muscle of his body; tongue begging for a simple taste of the ink on his skin and the head of his cock that was almost slipping through his briefs; the black briefs doing absolutely nothing to hide his arousal.

Rising to my knees on the bed, I ran my palm over his cock again, his entire body shivering underneath my touch.

"Fuck, angel,” Andy groaned before his teeth grasped at my bottom lip, yanking it away from me.

I hissed in pleasure, the taste of copper lingering on my tongue.

"Did you-." I licked my bottom lip and then tilted my head to the side. "Did you just bite me?"

Andy pushed me back down on the bed so he could take in the sight of me bare for him; those stormy eyes were now clear with only one thing.

Heat.

“I can’t believe I went ten years without this,” he muttered to himself while stepping out of his briefs, his cock finally springing free.

I licked my lips at the sight of it, salivating for a taste of the precum that he smeared over the head. But instead, I felt like being a brat with Andy, not allowing him to think I wasn’t still upset with him.

“It’s your own fucking fault,” I shot back with a sly smirk, resting on my elbows.

My squeals echoed in the trailer when Andy flipped my tiny frame over on the mattress so my ass was exposed to his palm, a hard strike falling onto it. I writhed against the bed when another harsh strike came down on my ass, my mewls of pleasure being drowned out by the pillow.

“You’re such an ass,” I seethed when the spankings stopped.

Andy palmed my reddened cheek while looming over my back, his breath warm on my neck.

“Do you still like it rough, River?” His question was heavy on his tongue.

That weekend we spent together, I divulged what kind of kinks I might have been into due to my own research. Andy let me try things with him while I did the same and needless to say, all these years later he still knew exactly what my body needed to come alive for him.

Instead of answering, I raised my hips from the bed with his name falling from my lips in a whine full of desperation. Andy had barely touched me but the wetness between my legs was warm and sticky.

I needed this release more than oxygen.

"What do you want from me?" His fingers dragged up my slick folds from his position behind me before slipping one inside, the feeling of his rings making me stiffen.

My head was turned to the side so I could gaze up at him over my shoulder. However, he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were trained hard on his finger pumping in and out of my pussy, the sounds of my arousal overpowering the sounds of my panting. Seeing the desperation on his face as he tried to hold himself back made me push my ass closer to Andy.

“Use your words, Riv,” he ordered while flicking his eyes to me for a moment.

I shook my head, words foreign when he slipped another finger inside of me, spreading them wide like a V.

“Did you forget how to speak?”

Andy clicked his tongue against his teeth, ready to pull his fingers out when my begging halted him.

"You. I just want you."

The bed shifted behind me when I noticed Andy disappear only to feel the wetness of his tongue press against my pussy to lick my arousal. The sharpness of his teeth scraped along my clit as he buried his face deeper into the sweet spot between my legs.

“You still taste so good, River,” he mused, pressing gentle kisses on the inside of my thigh.

“Don’t stop,” I all but whined, wanting to feel his tongue again.

Andy ate me out from behind with both hands on my hips, continuing to keep me in place as my body writhed on the bed from the onslaught of his mouth. When his lips wrapped around my clit to suck hard on the sensitive bud, I screamed out his name.

“Andy,” I drowned it out with a moan. “It’s so good. I’m so close.”

With the indication my orgasm was on the brink of collapse, he slipped a finger inside of me again. While his mouth was a rough attack on my clit, his finger was a gentle caress of my inner walls with slow strokes. Sheer ecstasy was slowly building at the base of my spine, warming up all of my senses until I felt like I could combust at any moment. Andy flicked his tongue over my clit and I buried my face into the pillow, the musky scent of my wellness tickling my nose as my body shook out my orgasm. My cries of release sounded like music to Andy’s ears as he hummed in praise, drinking up my arousal as it gushed over his tongue and fingers.

It had been so long since I had an orgasm that wasn’t brought on by my hand or a toy. I lay limp on the bed, breathless, as the after-shocks slowly began to fade along with the hazy bright lights, my soul returning from wherever it retreated to. I barely felt the kisses upon my thigh and then lower back as Andy dragged a finger down my spine.

“Still on birth control?” He asked, lust gone from his voice for a second.

I nodded while glancing over my shoulder and seeing my arousal coating his lips. The sight was so intoxicating that I almost uttered those three words that plagued my existence since I first met him.

“River,” he tapped my back, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Implant,” I replied.

My head leaned back in pure bliss when Andy dug his nails into my hips as he pressed himself past my wetness, the thickness of his cock filling me. It twitched inside of me, earning a disgustingly desperate groan from me.

It felt nothing like it did ten years ago. It felt better.

Andy left no space between us as he held us in place on the small mattress and I tried to move my hips in his grip. It was so rough, I knew I would have bruises later but frankly, I didn’t care. All I cared about was how good it felt to have him inside of me again.

“So tight, angel. I can’t-.”

His eyes fluttered shut as his lips parted to an 'O' shape when I rocked my hips against him with my swollen clit rubbing against the cool blanket and I shivered at the sensation. Everything from our fight to our kiss sent me in a spiral of pure ecstasy and I felt the coil in my stomach pulling tight again. My previous orgasm was still lingering and it didn’t take long before I felt that familiar tingly feeling in my spine.

“Andy, I’m going to-.”

Still inside of me, he managed to flip me over so now I was staring up at those dark eyes; pupils blown wide with lust. Now, Andy didn’t hold back as he hooked my leg up and around his shoulder so he could thrust in a deeper angle.

“Oh god,” I closed my eyes, the new sensation causing the coil to hurt.

“Eyes on me, River!” He snapped with a low growl and I immediately obeyed. "You're so fucking beautiful, angel. I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry it’s been ten years.”

I didn’t want to hear his apology. I only wanted to have that coil spring free with my second orgasm. I attacked his lips with such force Andy had to hold himself up with one hand on the headboard, the other slipping between the place where our bodies met to play with my clit; exactly how I liked. Our tongues explored each other's mouths in a kiss so vicious it made my head spin. Andy’s pace was erratic and merciless but it didn’t stop me from begging.

"More," I mumbled into his lips.

That's all he needed before he maneuvered us so he sat in the middle of the bed with me in his lap and he held me closer to his chest as his hips snapped up into me in violent strokes, the head of his cock hitting that perfect spot. I yelled out my pleasure, exposing my neck to Andy who immediately attacked it with his teeth leaving bite marks all along the skin sticky with sweat.

My body hummed in a prayer-like awaking, the flames and heat burning high in my belly as my organs crested higher; so fucking high I was afraid I would combust into nothing but matter in the air. His name fell from my lips in devotion, a woman praying to her God, and my toes curled as the orgasm ripped through me with so much force I screamed out in pure nirvana.

“I love you, River,” Andy professed with a strangled breath as he spilled himself inside of me, cock throbbing with his release.

“What did you say?” I questioned, almost unsure if I had heard him correctly.

He cupped my cheek, eyes softening. “I love you.”

My bottom lip trembled at those three words; the words I wanted to hear for years.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to say it,” Andy brushed away my hair from my face. “But it’s true. I’m at a better place where now admitting it out loud doesn't scare me.”

We stayed like that, bodies tangled together in the silence for a few long moments until he laid us on the bed. I very quickly detached myself from him so I could put some space between us.

Although he admitted how he felt, I wasn't ready to yet. I knew that I loved him ever since high school, but it was my turn to be afraid of what would happen if I admitted it out loud.

Instead, I remained silent while lying on my stomach on the bed, resting my chin on my hand to gaze down at his tattoos again. One of them immediately caught my attention and I smiled at it, a fond memory cresting to the surface.

“I remember being with you when you got this,” I whispered while trailing a finger over the black and yellow Batman logo on his arm.

“I still have the comics you got me for my birthday,” he said while propping his arm behind his head.

My heart skipped at that because it meant that he was thinking of me during our time away.

“But you couldn’t come to see me,” I muttered under my breath as I turned from him.

Andy reached for me to pull my back to his chest and lock me into place with a leg over my hips. His left hand grazed up and down my arm, sending shivers all over my skin, and I let out a soft breath.

“Will you stay with me, River?”

I sat on his question for a few long beats, letting it sink in if it was something I truly wanted. My life in Hollywood wasn’t set in place, I’d always been on the move. But the thought of uprooting everything to be with Andy scared the shit out of me. How could I trust that he won’t leave me again?

Then why did you sleep with him? You plan on leaving after this, so you’re no better than him.

“Why now?” I sat up to gaze down at him, his arm falling away from me. “How come now you want to make things work between us?”

He hesitated with inner turmoil eating away inside as he slowly sat up and ran a hand over his short hair.

“I was married for six years. The divorce was finalized last year.”

My heart sank into the depths of my stomach; no farther. It fell straight to Tartarus.

“We were together for a total of eight years but the longer our relationship went on I began to realize it wasn’t what I wanted. Who I wanted,” Andy explained.

There was absolutely no reason for me to be upset with him because while he was married, I had been casually dating. None of them were ever serious enough to last more than a few months. But it still caused an ache in my heart.

“Then why did you stay with her for as long as you did?” I asked.

Andy has a soft smile. “I loved her, in a different way than I love you. But sometimes that kind of love isn’t enough. Not when someone else held my heart first.”

Tears burned in my eyes and I blew out a shaky breath. “If that were true, Andy, then you would have come to me first. You wouldn’t have gotten married.”

Removing myself from his grasp, I began slipping on my discarded pieces of clothing while he continued to sit in bed, naked.

“I’m not saying I’m perfect, River. But I’ve grown a lot in the last few years. The Andy you used to know wouldn’t have been good for you.”

“And now?” I asked with my hands on my hips.

The smile that played on his lips grew wider. “Now, I would love to have you come on the road with me. We leave in a few days for our North America leg then jump overseas for a few weeks. Plenty of time to make up for old times and prove I’ve changed.”

I laughed. “You want me to stop what I’m doing here to come follow you? Give up potential jobs? Just to be your roadie?”

Andy’s jaw twitched but with a deep breath, he gathered himself from the bed and stepped back into his briefs and pants.

“You can be our photographer. I’ll talk it over with our management team, that way you can be getting paid.”

I pursed my lips in consideration because his offer was a pretty good one. But was it worth spending all that time together?

You love and miss him.

I sighed at the voice in my head, knowing it was true. Seeing him again brought up all the old feelings I spent years burying, trying to forget, and it was clear that Andy still felt the same.

“You remember all the plans we made? When we were hoping for better days? You wanted to become a photographer and I wanted to sing in a band. We have that now. What’s stopping you from saying yes?” He took a small step towards me.

“The promise you betrayed,” I said flatly.

Andy’s shoulders fell. “You don’t have to forgive me for leaving you, Riv. But I swear to you that if you come with me, I will spend every day from here on out proving to you that you’re all I want.”

When I didn’t say anything, he wrapped his arms around me and oh so gently, laid a kiss on my lips.

“I love you, River Murray,” he professed. “We can start over; fresh. But only if this is something you want. If not, then we can both leave with some closure and go our separate ways.”

I couldn’t explain the way my heart physically ached with the thought of leaving tonight and forgetting about Andy. Even with all the anger and hurt, I couldn't imagine acting like tonight didn’t happen. Maybe there was a small possibility that we could work through our issues, gain that trust back, and finally find what we were desperate to have.

But the betrayal weighed heavy in my soul along with the fear of Andy doing it again, only this time while I was with him and leaving me stranded.

“River, if you’re with Andy, can you have him come to set? We’re ready to start again.”

I jumped at the sudden loud crackle of the radio, Vincent’s voice breaking through the clouds of confusion.

With a sigh, Andy slipped back into his shoes and jacket.

“Let’s get back to work, yeah? We can talk more about this on the next break,” he said.

I swallowed the waver in my voice as it broke. “I’m actually going to sit here for a bit since I’m not needed right now.”

Andy’s thumb brushed along the soft skin of my cheek. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, angel.”

He left me with a kiss on the cheek and for the first time since reuniting with Andy, I fell to the ground with sobs wracking my body. Everything I worked hard to overcome was shattered by those three words and his offer. It terrified me to completely allow him in again but I also didn’t want to let him go.

The decision was made in an instant as I rose from the floor, hastily wiping away the tears, and gathered my things together. I knew what I chose would have repercussions, some I may never recover from, but as the door of the trailer slammed behind me, it would be alright. Because my heart said it would be.

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