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#and will in fact make me miss the only consistent social interaction i get during the week
literaphobe · 1 year
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I'm glad we're talking about this cuz I've been thinking about it for awhile. I really wonder if it's lack of caring about minecraft, inconsistent mc content by quite a few of the larger ccs, interactions btwn different ccs that just don't seem to happen as much anymore, MCCI (I feel like there was a noticeable drop after this), fan base changing, obviously covid restrictions being gone was a big change and we could all see the drops in viewership over the last year. I can't believe the mcc viewer numbers were so low this last time! Sap was 20k though when he's typically less than 15k in mcc.
When I listen to george takes on streaming/content and obv waiting for the visa was a big block for him but I really wonder if he gets it and if he plans to go back to streaming at all? It almost seems like he's still stuck thinking about the covid numbers :/ It really doesn't seem like he's gonna go back to streaming regularly though, he has said he'd rather do big event stuff but now that he has his visa and is clearly happier than ever it'll be interesting to see what he ends up doing!
I think it took karl a little bit but he's definitely gotten more comfortable with doing what he wants with streaming and not stressing with viewership, it just fluctuates no matter what. I've watched long term "big" streamers jump from 20k+ up and down in an hour just cuz of the game change lol its just the nature of it. Sap is def up and down with doing what he wants and seems to struggle with confidence or maybe it's just him being lazy lolol sap being ok with saying he does the least in banter 🤣
Quackity had a long term dedicated audience even before covid but after joining karmaland and producing more consistent content I saw his numbers go back up (not that they ever got that "low" but it was for him)
Dream will prob pull large numbers but I think there's going to be a fluctuation with the drace reveal so we'll see! Also pretty much for the last year I've just considered george and dream as youtubers and stopped expecting stream content from them so when it does happen I'm even more excited lol sap too but he definitely streams WAY more than them
Also this is all just thoughts /lh and not meant to be neg/crit towards anyone! I like our discussions here, it's a safe space haha
I'll prob be around for a long time with them no matter what they put out but I do miss the mc content. I'm happy though that the reason this time though is b/c they're finally all together and we're getting all sorts of pictures! The only content that'll make me leave is the social experiment type shit like going out on the street filming ppl and asking questions or pranks on random ppl. I hate that stuff so much 😩 gives me the biggest ick fr
anon the fact that them making street interview content is what’ll make you leave is so 😭😭😭😭😭 anyway yeah its p much just how a lot of the big ccs sort of lack consistency and also how minecraft isn’t popping off the way it did during the pandemic… not too deep I suppose
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flare-dragon · 30 days
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Ron's Gone Wrong: An Analysis
I recently rewatched (most of) Ron's Gone Wrong and remembered a few reviews I'd read of it, describing how its message seemed muddied and not very clear...which, ultimately, is true.
But, with that said, there's something I realise about it that it almost gets right (literally, all the way up to its second-last climax is so perfect, and even its ascent to its final climax is still consistent with this realisation). The realisation is that there's one thing it describes really well:
Artificial/Algorithmic "Friendship" vs Organic Relationships
It seems almost simple or obvious that this is the message the movie tried to portray, but the way that it ultimately ended tells me that they either missed the point they were making or someone else forced them to have a different ending (sadly, I think it's the former). I cannot call it a bad movie for missing that point (it's still one my most watched recent movies), but it makes me wonder what it could've been had it brought this point home.
So, without waffling on for too much longer, here's a quick analysis on how it goes about this message, and why it's a good message that doesn't inherently contradict the pervasiveness of social media (even if it also didn't do much about that point)
Barney vs Friendship
The beginning of the movie shows us a "revolutionary invention", designed for making friends: The Bubble Bot (B-Bot for short). From the get-go, we're given a presentation of what the modern friend-making dynamic intends to be: Interact with interests and media, share them online, and the algorithm uses that to help connect with others who shares those interests and enjoyment of media. It's an intentional reflection of modern social media, albeit a somewhat simplified version.
It quickly shifts to a large number of kids connecting to their B-Bots for the first time in a short montage, cut at the end with a hand touching a similarly-coloured door. An assumedly unintentional, but well-placed, contrast and summary of the story. Here we meet Barney.
Without rehashing too much of the beginning of the movie, we learn that everyone else at his school (supposedly?) has a B-Bot and he's the only one without it. Similarly, he doesn't have any friends he talks to during school (or outside of it apart from family). He himself states that he "kinda, actually" needs a B-Bot to make friends these days. One could call this a simple set up to the idea of "You won't make real friends using computers" by starting us off with a B-Bot-less Barney...if it weren't for the fact that he gets one the next day.
This is when we really start to see what I mean by "Barney vs Friendship": His attitude towards what his new B-Bot should be is pretty consistent with how everyone else has been using them: "You are meant to be my friend, and know everything about me." It's hammered in later on during the friendship montage, with Barney making a board on "How to be my friend" (underline by me).
Barney's perception of friendship, then, is revealed as "You are my friend. You are on my side. You like the things I like." A very selfish and self-centred perception. This might seem to set up Barney to be a selfish person...but isn't that how the algorithm is supposed to work? Finding people with the same interesting ("the things I like") and rejecting those who don't share it (which we see at the school, two B-Bots rejecting each other, and thus the two kids, Savannah and Ava, simply walk away from each other). It isn't Barney's fault his understanding of friendship is like this. He's been inundated and surrounded by it.
Barney vs Ron
Up to this point (after the school "riot"), we see Ron as trying so hard to be Barney's friend, to the point of taking Savannah's words to heart and going outside to find people to be friends with Barney (since Ron wants to not be pointless and is connected to Barney). It isn't until now that Ron asks the question: "Barney, are you my friend?"
Barney's response is typical and expected: "What do you mean? My dad bought you for me." After all, Ron is just a robot, right? It does make the idea of the message "Artificial Friendship vs Organic Relationship" difficult to apply since Barney literally doesn't see Ron as a person. He's just a self-moving machine designed to be a friend.
But, interestingly enough, that makes Ron a perfect vehicle for the message. A machine that was intended to just follow the algorithm, instead forced to (and willing to) create their own way through life by whatever limited tools it has access to. Even in the moments Barney sees Ron as just a machine, he's also treated him as an important person in his life.
When they meet up again in Barney's shed, it all finally shifts into what it always should've been: A two-way street. They'd already spent so much time bonding, regardless of the way they'd perceived each other before then (Barney seeing Ron as just a friend machine, Ron seeing Barney as the one person he needed to be a friend to), that the change to actually being a friend to each other and allowing each other's individuality to shine but never be the only priority allows them both to be better friends, differences and all.
To contrast, we also follow in pieces the journeys of Savannah, Rich, Noah, and Ava's own experiences with their functioning-as-intended B-Bots. We see Savannah and Ava miss an opportunity to be friends (and Ava's loneliness from very few B-Bot owners showing an interest in science). We see Noah's constant struggle to be at the top of the leaderboard. We see Rich attention-starved and making as much "content" as he can just to get some. Instead of exploring the possibilities of relationships with people who may not share the same interests, they're steadfast focused on what they're used to, never really getting a chance to evolve it into something more joyful (more on that later)
Barney & Ron vs The World
...a dramatic subtitle, but this is when the two of them run off, away from Bubble's attempt to capture Ron to stem the damage they've seen from him. Barney still doesn't have any friends aside from Ron, and Ron doesn't have any friends aside from Barney. Barney refuses to lose his one and only friend, so they run off, separated from the rest of the world, and just...enjoy each other's company.
In the montage and subsequent scenes, we see more bonding from both of them. Ron is still trying to be a good friend, but Barney gives him a chance to say things for himself and to do things for himself, even if Barney doesn't like it. Even when they argue later from the stress of living outdoors in the woods, they stick together and try to keep warm.
There's not a lot to say about these scenes, except that we see a very stark differences from when they'd first met. It's almost as if this is where we get to see how far they've come as friends. We've seen the relationship grow over time, shifting from seeing each other as a particular purpose into treating each other as individuals. A shift that would've been impossible if Ron simply followed the same algorithm the others did.
Would Barney have found friends if Ron functioned as intended? Would Ron have shown the personality he does if he had ever been connected to the Bubble Network? Would there have ever been a discussion on how to actually make friends? It isn't until later that we find a likely answer to all of these: No. Barney would have fallen into the same trap every other B-Bot user did: A constant hunger for validation that only resulted in disconnection and loneliness.
It al comes to a head when they both find themselves in danger from being caught by Bubble (by remote-controlled B-Bots being controlled without user consent or knowledge. Makes one wonder~). Barney does everything he can to hide and protect Ron (which only succeeds due to Andrew's complete disregard to human life), even risk death from asthma. Ron then does everything he can to ensure Barney doesn't die in the woods, even if it meant being taken away and destroyed.
It's a beautiful relationship, given a chance due to them having to discover who each other were over time and in an organic matter. Ron had to learn Barney's interests manually and even began to observe new things about him over time. Barney shifted the way he looked at Ron to seeing him as his own person, and spent the time to learn his own likes and desires.
Barney vs "Ron's Gone Wrong"
I figure it's also important to include where - in my opinion - the movie loses the message and the storytellers mess up. In the last segment of the movie, we have Ron having been connected to the Bubble Network and losing everything that made him unique, each interaction with Barney being a shallow facsimile of what made Barney become best friends with him (right down to Ron's individuality being erased).
I'm sure there was a way to make this work, but it instead has Barney try to rescue Ron's personality (a backup Marc created somehow) and then, after getting it back, Ron sharing his personality with every other B-Bot (due to seeing how the original algorithm just lead to sad kids disconnected from each other) at the cost of his own life (although that's technically ambiguous, especially with the ending).
I'm...not sure what the intent is, but it misses something big. What made Ron special to Barney was not simply that he existed outside of the mould that every other B-Bot was forced to fit into. It was that Barney got to know him and his eccentricities, and Ron got to grow and evolve alongside Barney. They both grew organically alongside each other, and demonstrated the need for a more natural approach to friendship making compared to the rigidity of the algorithmic connections that occurred through the B-Bots (and not questioning this algorithm or given much chance to examine the issues).
By simply sharing Ron's personality to every other B-Bot, it only really achieves one thing right in relation to the message: It forces each person to operate on their B-Bots level and develop their own connection to their now-chaotic buddy (I suppose not focusing on "online vs offline" as far as friendships go was also a good point for it, as it didn't really feel like a strong enough point for the movie and there's better ways to go about such a message.)
Had there been a greater focus on how it was that Barney's friendship had developed - or at least some kind of portrayal that the updated B-Bots weren't just copies of Ron but had actually become wide and varied individuals for their owners(?) to get to know - the ending might've been able to work better. Ron's sacrifice was a tragedy, but it displayed Ron's sheer selflessness and self-developed kindness and generosity.
If there's one scene that at least supports the message of "Artificial/Algorithmic Friendship vs Organic Relationships", it's the moment Barney sees how unhappy his former-now-again friends as they stare at their B-Bots screens and try to make some semblance of happiness, however shallow it is. Having a contrast of their artificially-built connection compared to Barney and Ron's hard-earnt friendship felt like a good way to help demonstrate the point. I just wish it could've lead to a more satisfying ending.
Barney and Friends
This is just a short little bit, but I wanted to at least point out one other good thing that happens in the last segment and ending. Barney may have started out friendless, but his friendship with Ron and Ron's selfless sacrifice (to get him medical attention) allowed Barney to reconnect with his former friends. It was a moment of realisation for Savannah, Ava, Noah, and Rich: After all this time, they let their friendship decay and be lost.
Seeing them, then, be together and hanging out alongside Barney? It showed another element of an organic relationship: Organic connections. Algorithms can give you other connection points, but it may leave you limited to other perspectives too similar to your own. Organic connections, though, force you to figure out if this thing that you never really thought about before is something you like or not, and if this person's appreciation and interest in it is something you like. It's one of those things that can just grow on its own and become something beautiful.
Just to note: I do not believe online friendships are worse than offline relationships, nor more shallow. Rather, it's algorithmic friendships that fall flat. The power of the internet is that it lets you get in touch with so many people you normally wouldn't have the chance to. Leaving it entirely in the hands of an algorithm (and not thinking critically about it) has you miss out on the beauty of the mish-mash nature of the internet. It's why Tumblr's such a fun place to be~ ^^
Conclusion
So yeah. The thing that always disappointed me most about the movie isn't that it didn't stick the landing. It's that it has such a beautiful message and the story it tells is so heart-warming and charming, but the message isn't carried to the end so you wonder if it was ever intended (I believe it was, but it's hard to say).
Seeing the way Barney and Ron's friendship evolves - and the way they each grow as individuals - contrasted with everyone else using B-Bots as they were originally designed/programmed makes for a pretty compelling portrayal of the differences between a friendship formed and informed by entirely through an algorithm, and a relationship that grew from organic interactions that, even when influenced by expectations from and of each other, created something much more different and complex and much more fulfilling for the two of them.
It's a beautiful friendship, and it's still worth watching to the end~
Bonus
It's more a funny coincidence I noticed, but the way that Andrew kicks Marc out when Ron loses his individuality, and then how Andrew was removed and Marc taking charge again when Ron's personality was distributed to every other B-Bot? Almost feels like its own reference to that message (Algorithmic Friendships may be ubiquitous and everywhere, but ultimately Organic Relationships will last the test of time)
A funny comparison honestly~
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thegempage · 3 years
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hmm
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boop-le-snoot · 3 years
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If life gives you melons...
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Ship: Loki x F!alt! reader
Rating: Explicit / word count 5,5k
Summary: You've heard about meet-cute, how about meet-ugly? Reader has tattoos and a tongue split. There's this joke that "bisexual alt girls go looking for a girlfriend and end up with sad, tall and skinny white bois" and boy did that hit home. Inspired by this cringy video of Hiddles [youtube link].
During a panel at a comic con, Loki notices reader and they go on a date, reader gets railed: top!Loki, choking, rough sex, unprotected sex, all the good stuff. Open ending, with a bonus of reader and Loki pranking Clint.
x. I usually fancy they/them pronouns for Loki but seeing as it's a smut-shot, I decided to go along with he/him for the sake of simplicity. Loki's at least 6'4 tall and you can fight me on that. Also, I write like a Tony stan - I feel the need to apologize to Loki stans for that. I love you guys! 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
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The long line of people appeared to be neverending. Loki was an enhanced, as the government recently had adopted a politically correct term for Earth's non-human inhabitants, but even his enhanced endurance had begun waning due to sheer amount of people wanting a piece of memorabilia signed by The God of Mischief. Loki had gained a considerable amount of fans after doing his part in killing the mad titan Thanos and by extension, saving the world. It turned out, humankind was a sucker for a good redemption arc.
Loki's hands ached where they wrapped around the pen that he'd been using for nearly 4 hours to neatly place his name, written in neat runescript, on various pieces of merchandise that his fans (and wasn't that a strange thing!) presented to him. He used to think that he would have actually succeeded conquering the earth if he had a grasp on how to use social media and his charm; now, he just wanted the torture to end. An involuntary sigh left his mouth when he saw another print of himself in full battle gear being placed in front of him by a reasonably attractive young woman.
"Um, thank you," She stammered, giggling softly, and Loki spared her a painstaking smile, scribbling his name once again. The woman briefly caught his eyes. "Um, you're the reason- the inspiration for me. I became a stripper."
Loki blanked, feeling his eyes widen and blink on their own accord a few times. He wasn't sure if he heard the woman correctly, as the unusual statement made his brain freeze.
Loud snickering from behind the blushing woman interrupted the system error that he was experiencing in his head. It wasn't often that somebody managed to render him speechless. It looked like whoever was in line behind the stripper woman had taken advantage of that. Loki's eyes snapped to the short-haired person, who looked torn between cringing and breaking into embarrassed laughter.
The stripper left without a word, and as Loki picked up the cursed writing instrument once again, the short-haired person smiled at him kindly. "That was a little weird," They snorted, "And thanks, have a nice day Mr. Loki."
"When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic," Another woman, that appeared to be the short haired person's friend, deadpanned and gave a cynical side-eye to the departing stripper. Loki heard snickering coming from the short-haired person and quietly joined himself. The woman noticed it, winking at him as she collected the newly signed t-shirt. "Bye," She smiled kindly.
It was a split second decision, really. Something about the cheeky way she addressed the situation sparked Loki's interest. "Wait, you forgot something, darling," His baritone called out to the departing woman. She turned around, confused, and hastily grabbed the standard issue photo that he was holding out to her. With a final grateful nod, she smiled and left.
If Loki's smile had returned for the time being, none of his teammates made any remarks on it. Only his brother, Thor, gave a couple of knowing looks to the Asgardian sorcerer.
The woman in question didn't think twice about the photo that she stashed in her backpack along with the signed t-shirt. The Comic-Con had been full of people and the lines were unfairly long. The sheer exhaustion after attending a 3-day long convention had set in and she was eager to simply come home back to her apartment and crash on the nearest soft flat surface. Upon arrival, she did exactly that, flopping down gracelessly on the couch, her backpack landing next to her with a careless thud.
Unloading her trophies was a short time affair: a single white tee with a dozen signatures on it, written in what she hoped was waterproof Sharpie; one mug, shaped like an Iron Man helmet; one poster, showing Spider-Man on a picturesque NYC horizon and a signed photo of one Loki. Strangely enough, she did not remember requesting it - not that she was complaining. Free merch was free merch.
The front side wasn't signed whatsoever. Overcome by curiousity, she turned it around. A phone number was written on the back of it, the handwriting neat and the letters obviously being inked out by a thinner, more sophisticated pen than the one Loki had used for scribbling on the tee. The woman gaped silently, not believing her eyes. Did Loki himself had given her his phone number?
One margarita and a hefty helping of Chinese takeout later, the numbers persisted staring back at her mutely, the neat cursive being almost mocking in its quiet. The woman's smartphone had found a comfortable place right next to the photo, equally mum regarding the unusual situation.
An additional margarita was needed to gather the courage required to actually type out the number in the receiver box. Fruity alcoholic concoction in one hand and phone clutched in the other, the woman's eyes squeezed shut tightly as soon as the dreaded "Hey, got your number today! :)" read delivered. She'd typed and erased the message several times, groaning in embarrassment. How the hell does one approach an alien god?
"Hello! May I ask your name?" The response came after a brief moment - a moment the woman had suffered through by taking too haste sips of her drink, her common since screaming her to not overdo it and wait at least a full minute before replying. Everything felt awkward and misplaced.
In no time, she was sending the screenshots of the conversation to her girl-advice group chat that consisted of her closest friends. Chatting with Loki turned out to be surprisingly easy and he was great at upholding conversation, something that couldn't be said about all those Tinder matches she had had back in the day.
Even if using proper grammar during a text message conversation was something she had to reacquaint herself with, she was glad he wasn't just another boring, shalllow, condescending-ass white boy. Despite the cultural differences and his lack of knowledge of things like pop culture and music - something he said he was working on since New Asgard became a sovereign state on Earth - they bonded over music and tattoos and generally being rebellious against society's standarts.
The invitation to dinner didn't come as a surprise for the woman. She agreed happily, looking forward to continue their conversation outside of the internet - if Loki's part of the chat was anything to go by, not only was he charming, but also quite intelligent. And easy on the the eyes, too. They had traded selfies at some point and the Asgardian didn't look any worse in a hoodie and sweatpants than he did in his battle leathers. Loki had appeared to truly have had integrated into Earth's society.
The night of the date, the continuous text exchange did very little to calm her nerves. Loki texted as much as an overeager teenage boy: every now and then he would double-text and grossly overreact to her sending a simple meme. In fact, he smugly conveyed the fact he'd single-handedly started a meme war between the Avengers and even Steve was forced to participate; something that was, allegedly, out of character for the blonde man.
She didn't mind. Not like she had many friends to have so much fun with. Even if it took her twice the time to do her favourite eyeliner style, it was worth it. She hoped Loki would appreciate the bold, but classy make-up and the dress and shoes combo that accentuated her assets. Her date expressed curiousity about her tattoos and the difference between her preferred style and the humans he spent most time with. She guessed secret agents were not particularly fond of anything that made them memorable so she held out quite the hope for... Showing off some of her tattoos in a more private setting.
In other, simpler words, the woman came in prepared for both a friendly, leisurely stroll and a quality night. Either way, it would be a time well spent.
Loki's shiny, raven hair was impossible to miss as he towered over the rest of the people waiting by the restaurant's entrance. He wore tailored black trousers and a simple cashmere sweater, perfect for the evening's damp, cool air. Tall and lithe, Loki was mouthwateringly handsome.
"Come here often?" She wormed her way through the crowd, causing the man to smirk down at her. Her cheeks flared from the tiny gesture alone.
"Just waiting for a friend," Loki uttered lowly, extending an arm towards the woman, which she gracefully accepted as they made way towards the entrance. "Reservation for Loki," The Asgardian stated to the hostess, who, after a rapid doube-take, led them to a private, secluded area in the back of the restaurant.
Loki shouldered the slightly awkward interaction with grace, paying no mind to the girl. His focus was solely on his date and he was nothing but gallant as he took the woman's purse and held out the chair for her to comfortably sit down. As a prince, he was taught well, she mused.
"Usually I would ask 'what brings you to our little ball of water and dirt?' but I think we can skip that part," The woman stated with a sheepish grin, idly flicking through the menu and curiously eyeing the items that were unfamiliar. The desire to try something new fought with the possibility of accidentally ordering something too far out - like snails or other things that rich people fancied, for some reason.
Loki's greens briefly appeared over the top of his menu, grateful and sparkling. "I think it's best if we do just that," For a second, he looked away, before returning to the menu. "I can think of better things to discuss. I recall you didn't finish telling me about that college friend of yours, who was an anarchist... I'm dying to know..."
The waiter came and went, barely noticed by the pair, as they both poked at something that sounded the most familiar for both of them. Stoically, Loki admitted that Tony Stark did the booking for him and the woman reluctantly acquitted she wasn't very familiar with upscale establishments, being of middle-class background and working a middle-class job.
Interrupting the story she began telling hours ago, the woman took the time to point out the things she was familiar with on the menu and advised Loki to stay away from - like the aforementioned snails, and other things, slimy and salty things that she considered to be 'disgusting but rich people liked it for some reason'. The conversation slowly progressed into Loki telling her the mischief he got up to at the feasts Odin threw. The Asgardian shared the woman's disregard for influential people doing gross things to show off.
The food was good - it was really hard to miss with a traditional Italian lasagna - and seeing Loki shovel an obscene amount of food was an experience, but she didn't comment on it, tactful enough to consider his alien biology might have different dietary requirements that her human one. It was great, really, that she could order dessert and not feel guilty about it.
The gelato melted in her mouth like sweet ecstasy and she moaned with her next bite, only partly aware of how obscene really was the noise.
Loki's hand stuttered on it's way to his mouth. Wide-eyed, he stared at her lips, at her mouth, where her tongue lapped up the small drops of dessert from the spoon. "Why the split tongue?" The Asgardian finally gathered his wits, having had a good look of what he was sure was a trick of the eye at first.
She grinned, acutely aware of the effect that particular body modification had on men. "I like being different. I embrace the weird." She giggled, not at all ashamed, sticking out her tongue and wiggling both parts of it teasingly.
Loki's Adam's apple bobbed; "Weird?" He raised his eyebrow, fighting to maintain his previous cool composure.
She nodded. "Weird," She retorted coyly. "I usually don't divulge the details at least until the third date. Wouldn't want to scare my potential suitors off," The playful wink was the proverbial cherry on top. He was hooked, his eyes darkened, following the plump arch of her lips as she took another spoonful of the treat and savoured it, closing her eyes for a brief moment.
It was pornographic.
"Obviously, Midgardians don't know what's good for them," Loki scoffed in his usual bored monotone, fully aware of how fitful his attempt to conceal his excitement was. He sounded needy even to his own ears.
"And you do?" She pushed away the empty plate, chastely patting her mouth with a napkin. The raised eyebrow and the little smirk spoke volumes.
The grin he wore was hardly anything but feral; he asked for the waiter's assistance by flicking his wrist in an impatient fashion. Once the bill was paid and the woman's cardigan found its rightful place on her shoulders, Loki once again took hold of her arm, this time holding her smaller body against his larger one, taking care to slow down and keep his strides shorter.
She found the coolness of his presence refreshing in the moist, heavy air of the New York city.
"Where to, milady?" Loki asked her, looking down at the woman fondly.
"My place is a block away. Walk me, good sir?" She gave a delightfully easy smile in return.
He nodded, letting her lead the way, allowing himself to get a little bit lost in their shared presence, a little bubble of them in the middle of a busy city. It was as if someone had quickly turned down the volume of the honking cars and noisy pedestrians around them, leaving the soft breeze and the sun slowly descending below the skyscrapers. It felt far too short, partaking in the comfortable silence together, skin tingling under the thin layers of cloth where they were touching.
The sun was trapped in the strands of her hair as she smiled at him from her doorway, worrying her lip between her teeth. It was a bittersweet moment.
"A kiss good night for the good sir?" She asked hopefully, eyes darting between his face and his mouth.
Loki obliged, resting his palm flat on the door frame, towering over the woman as he gently slotted his thin, cool lips against her warm ones. The woman stood on her tippy toes, eager, placing a hand on his chest. The pair melted into the kiss - it had no business being this mind-blowing, brain-freezing for two people that have not met until that very day. The woman didn't refuse when Loki probed with his tongue, requesting entrance to her mouth; she licked into his own with fervor, fisting her hands in the soft fabric of his sweater.
With the hand that was free, Loki pulled the woman flush with himself, feeling the heat of her start a fire of its own inside of him. Her breathing rapid, the gesture only served to tighten her hold on his sweater, until a soft, barely audible moan slipped into his mouth, causing his brain to quickly reassess the situation.
Regretfully, Loki pulled away, clearing his throat. "Perhaps we should take this elsewhere," He meaningfully looked at the array of doors around them.
"I thought you'd never ask," She retorted with a fond eyeroll, tightening the grip on his sweater once more, to pull him inside her apartment and shut the door behind her. The awkward moments were few and in between; neither knew who reached for the other first, mashing their mouths with less grace than before, clutching at the other's arms and hips with hunger.
This time, Loki didn't hold back his own muted groans of satisfaction, shivering when the woman's hands snuck under his sweater and the simple tank top he wore underneath. Blunt nails scraped along his abs.
Step by step, she pushed him further inside her apartment, determined in her small quick strides. There was no mistake of their destination; no mistake in her desire: she was as hungry and as impatient as him. The crease between his eyebrows deepened, long arms extending to unzip the top of her dress to reveal a simple but tasteful black lacy bra covering her breasts. The woman barely noticed the action, stepping out of her dress as soon as it hit the floor.
He admired her. Inches of soft skin covered by intricate ink, some patterns bizarre and complicated, some beautiful in their simplicity. Loki couldn't wait to find out about the meaning behind every one of them, to trace the lines with his tongue and sink his teeth into the heated flesh.
The hands that were holding onto him for dear life tugged on his sweater and he chose to simply vanish it, too preoccupied with looking at the view in front of him. She gasped and her eyes met his: uncanny, magnetic emeralds shone with magic and power and desire.
"Fuck," She more mouthed than said, walking backwards in a trance until her shins hit the bed.
Loki grinned, advancing on the panting woman with the grace of a predator. "Darling?" His tone was innocent; his expression was anything but. His large hand encompassesed the side of her face, thumb running over her bottom lip in a possessive gesture that had her squirming in her place. He loved the way she just melted into his touch.
Their lips met again, slower this time. The kiss was once again graceful and unrushed, allowing them to explore the softness of each other's skin, mapping the arches and valleys with gentle strokes of their palms. The broad expanse of Loki's back was uneven, riddled with scars and blemishes, and she mapped every single one, blunt nails raking down it as she pressed into him, arching into his hands where he held her.
The soft flesh of her ass, barely covered by a scrap of black lace, was shamelessly grabbed - the woman didn't doubt there would be marks left - letting her feel his arousal pressed against her belly, hard and twitching. She didn't resist her desire to ge handsy and palmed it, taking note of the gasp and the twitch coming from the man occupied with the clasp of her bra. In no time, it flew away, forgotten somwhere the very moment Loki's palms took over her breasts, running a careful thumb over each nipple.
"Fuck," She parroted her previous statement, equally breathy and considerably more aroused.
"That's the plan," Loki's chuckle was hoarse.
She huffed, biting her bottom lip before reaching out to swiftly pop the button of his trousers, smirking at the hiss the friction of her palm produced against his cock. It shouldn't have surprised her that Loki was a commando kind of guy, but still, she gasped, partially from the ministrations of his clever fingers, partially from the mouthwatering sight in front of her. The thick, flushed length made saliva gather in the corners of her mouth.
He must've heard the audible swallow. "Not so haste, darling," He tutted, giving her relaxed body a gentle push, causing her to land on her back, heated skin against the soft duvet of her bed. "Let me taste you," A thud; Loki had dropped to his knees, using his large palms to spread her legs, opening her up to his eyes.
If his previous work hadn't made her so pliant, so aroused, she'd have been rendered speechless; instead, the woman arched her back, presenting herself and the desire that had pooled down below. The Asgardian chuckled, fingertips soft against the scratchy lace.
"Tease," The woman moaned, outstretching her arm to guide him but quite unable to reach him. She had to settle for squirming in her place, receiving a fraction of the desired traction against her swollen lips.
"Am I, love?" Loki asked her sweetly, caving enough to dip a single finger to run along the outside of her slit. It glided easily thanks to all the moisture gathered there, lips parting easily before his touch. The panties were vanished away promptly, another finger joining in immediately to rub slow, precise circles around her clit.
She keened low and long, fisting the fabric in her hand until her knuckles turned white. Loki knew what he was doing. It didn't take him very long to slide his long digits to the welcoming heat of her opening, dipping them inside until she began to make the noises he so craved. His mouth followed after that, long agile tongue drawing senseless shapes on the inside of her labia and dipping deeper, where her clit stood out engorged and slick.
He could smell the bittersweet of her arousal, mouthwatering and hot.
"Loki, fuck," She moaned, only half-coherent and partially aware of her own hips following his every stroke, every flick. He only advanced, hitting that sweet spot inside her with every stroke; the sparks traveling up her spine quickened with each time she changed his name like a prayer. "Loki, Loki, Loki..."
He growled, attaching his mouth firmly to her clit, and she arched for the final time, coming undone, squeezing around his fingers and gushing in his mouth, the obscene sounds covered by her own scream of delight and his impatient growling. The growling that sent shivers of aftershocks throughout her body.
"Darling, you taste so sweet," Loki groaned, still panting.
She took the time to open her eyes: Loki looked comically out of place in her bedroom, he dwarfed her bed and made her feel small, but it didn't matter at all at that very moment. His erection stood out hard and proud; despite the leg-shaking orgasm just moments ago, she wanted more, she wanted to taste him, she wanted to feel him inside-
With unsurprising agility, one swift motion was all it took for her to rest comfortably against the pillows, his throbbing member resting against the juncture of her thigh. She tasted her own release on his lips, however brief, whispering a weak, "Please," aching to feel the emptiness.
"As my lady wishes," Loki's cool breath ghosted over her cheek. She waited with baited breath until the tip of his manhood breached her, exhaling a moan into his neck and immediately wrapping her lips around a patch of skin as he stretched her so sweet.
Loki's arms shook slightly as he waited for her to adjust. He kissed her, soft and sweet; there was something vulnerable in him, something as sweet as the ache he'd taken away. Once he began to move, slow and fluid, all there was left was an all-consuming need to feel. As graceful as dancer and with a deadly precision, Loki pounded gasps, moans and screams out of the woman's slack mouth, kisses turning hungrier and sloppier by the second.
"So sweet," He cooed, relishing in the snug grip of her cunt around him.
She only keened in approval, too far gone and unused to the intensity of the feelings from a man with centuries of practice and the power of a god.
His thrusts slowed gradually until he was rutting into her, grinding his pelvic bone into her clit. The gasps and screams turned into drawn-out, longing moans; her hips followed his, meeting in a slow, sensual motion.
Loki was not a patient man. He withdrew - she gasped in protest - flipping the woman over on her fours with ease, taking but a split second to admire the curve of her body presented on display for him. Just for him.
With that thought burning in his mind, Loki sheathed his cock deeply inside her spasming cunt. It was nearly unbearably stimulating and only his own desire to prolong the bliss held back his own impending orgasm. That, and his own ego; he was naught if not a generous lover.
She slurred something, quiet and incorrigible, fucking back onto his cock as eagerly as he was plunging into her heat. The hand he'd placed on her shoulder promptly wrapped around her throat in hopes of lifting her close enough for him to hear the words but instead, it sent a full-bodied shiver throughout her. Loki grinned, tugging her that much closer.
The arch in her back looked quite uncomfortable yet she didn't mind; it was the exact opposite, in fact, her cunt tightened around him, drenching his shaft down to his balls. Her fingernails dug into the flesh of his thigh, the sting of pain going straight to his cock-
"Loki, I'm gonna, I'm gonna-" She slurred, gasping for air.
He weakened his hold on her throat enough to let her gulp the so-needed oxygen. It was her undoing: was it the rapid pace of oxygenated blood traveling to her brain or was it his cock, mercilessly pounding against her g-spot - she was violently spasming around his cock, much like she did around his fingers not too long ago.
It felt like ages, her crescendo coming in waves with no signs of stopping any time soon. Loki's continuous thrusts, his hips slamming into hers, her skin feeling like molten lava.
"Gonna fill your sweet cunt with my seed," Loki moaned lowly, holding her up by the throat, the other hand leaving fingertip-shaped bruises on the outside of her hips. "Mark you from the inside out," His voice had gone into primal territory, growling filling up the room.
"Please..." The woman rasped, oversensitive.
And he pleased, with a series of sharp thrusts, he buried himself to the hilt in her, the force of his release making her shudder and moan once against, going limp in his arms. Loki kept her in her place until every drop was inside of her cunt. Nothing was sweeter than that.
The Asgardian didn't bother with getting under the covers to hold her, conjuring a soft, comfortable throw in modest green, to cover their nudity. He didn't need the extra warmth but his companion was by far more fragile and sensitive to these things- Loki's fingertips traced the array of bruises he'd left in the wake of their passion, expression surprised as he found the woman smiling.
"Feels nice," She supplied meekly, eyes half-lidded, face trusting and open towards him.
He gave a small grin in return, placing a chaste kiss atop her head. "Yes, it does, darling."
Time after time, she didn't expect much out if their date. The sex was nice, nice enough for both of them to want seconds and thirds after their rushed first time - but it wasn't like she expected him to hand around. It was a pleasant change from the usual mutual ghosting she'd done with her previous partners, but Loki had texted again and they had resumed their conversation via text like nothing had happened.
No, that would be incorrect. Now, she had a wonderful friend who was a great conversationalist and an even better lover. There was no pressure to put a label on their relationship so the woman didn't bother with it; it didn't seem like Loki cared about the label, either, so she left the topic alone and enjoyed things the way they were. It wasn't like she had a line of suitors anyway.
She couldn't help the smile that creeped onto her face when she unlocked her phone and saw a video call request from other than Loki himself. She still had thirty minutes worth of lunch break to waste and this was a wonderful time to chat with a friend.
"Stark, hand it back or I swear to Norns-" Loki's voice sounded agitated and far away, accompanied by sounds of a struggle; the bearded, smug face on the screen was not who she expected at all. Only years of customer service and low bullshit tolerance combined stopped her from freaking out seeing none other than Tony Stark smirking at her from the screen of her phone.
"Yes?" She arched an eyebrow, taking note of the anger of Loki's tone.
"Hi, I don't think I need to introduce myself," Stark babbled, eyeing her - disheveled and with a wall full of sticky notes and miscellaneous items acting as the background to her video. "Reindeer games refused to show you to us so we decided to persuade him," Tony's grin grew wider, muted whispers being rapidly exchanged in the background all the while Loki screeched "BROTHER!" and various expletives at the top of his lungs.
"You could've, I dunno," She paused, unimpressed. "Asked me to dinner, like a normal person. Instead of stealing, you know, like a thief," The eyeroll that she performed had the team worried her eyes would fall out of their sockets.
"I merely borrowed his phone, don't be dramatic," Stark huffed, and for a moment, she could see various other people trying to look at the screen and by extension, at her. "So, what is it that you do? Because Smurf over there wouldn't..."
"Oops, bad signal. Sorry, can't hear you properly," Her side of the call suddenly shook and in a moment, she ended the call, not at all willing to deal with people that lacked boundaries. Sure, it might have been Iron Man, but if he was planning on being a snooping asshole, she wasn't gonna go down with that easily.
Exactly five minutes after she had clocked out, an incoming call from Loki had her equal parts excited and mortified. What if..? But he was apologetic. And very angry, swearing in his native language - something that he'd promised to teach her at some point.
"So, Clint did it?" She sipped her beverage, strolling home with the phone pressed snugly against her ear.
"Most of it was his fault, yes," Loki grouched on the other end of the call.
"I vote we get back at him. Invite me over, if he's so inclined to see me, and watch him get humiliated in front of everybody," It wasn't a secret she had her own mischievous tendencies.
"As much as I appreciate your vigour, darling, I doubt the Widow will appreciate you verbally castrating the Hawk in public," He replied sourly, his voice still betraying the faint notes of interest.
"I have a backup plan!" She stated without a hitch. "He'll embarrass himself and I'll be your alibi."
"I'm listening," Loki perked up immediately.
They decided to not to stall and schedule the 'family dinner', as Thor himself dubbed it, for the next available weekend. Loki had made sure Tony's AI had been made aware the trickster would be gone all day, and it took him very little magic and effort to pop in and out of the tower for the five minutes that were needed to execute their prank.
His friend barely managed to keep the snickering at bay as they ascended the elevator to the common floor where the dinner was being held. Not only that, but the woman spouted an area of dark purple love marks, barely obscured by the low turtleneck of her blouse.
She made her introductions and they made theirs. "This affair could use some background noise," She remarked off-handedly, casting a meaningful glance at the TV.
Tony Stark was known for being a great host so he entertained her wishes, flicking on the huge flat screen with a flick of his wrist.
The team froze.
"I... -" The woman stared at the screen, mouth hanging wide open at the scenes that played out. "... am not going to kinkshame, but please turn it off," She stated in a small voice, seemingly unable to tear her eyes away from the mass of tentacles commencing erotic assault on a woman's body.
Wordlessly, the TV shut down, immersing the room in stunned silence. Loki face-palmed, the slap of his palm against his face echoing in the eerily quiet room.
"Loki!" Captain America, red as a tomato, instantly accused the most obvious person.
Except, he had forgotten one thing. "Loki was with me all day," The woman replied, unkindly. "Do you need more proof?" She tugged on the hem of her turtleneck, exposing an inch of skin marked blue.
The good Captain's face changed the shade once again, venturing very well into beetroot territory. "Who was the last one to use the TV?" Rogers asked, now with a hint of anger, as he stared at a guffawing Bucky.
"I believe it was Mr. Barton," The AI piped up, mechanical voice sounding almost insinuating. Or, perhaps, it just appeared that way.
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231 notes · View notes
errorpeachy · 3 years
Text
☾ Will He?☽ 《Bakugo and Izuku X Reader》 Pt.2
Song: Will he - Joji
Hey bitches, take some more angst since the first part did tremendously well like holy shit-
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I got knots all up in my chest.
You had been staying at Izuku’s house for the past week, and your days had consisted of crying, sleeping, working, and crying some more. Sometimes, Izuku managed to make you laugh, but for the most part, you had been stuck in a depressive state. Explaining to your receptionist what was going on, she was in the process of helping you issue a public statement saying you were no longer with the number two hero.
It was difficult to accept the fact that the Bakugo you once knew wasn’t the same Bakugo anymore. You two had been together for five years, so it was only understandable that you were hurting, but there were so many other things you were feeling. You felt anger at the fact he thought you were stupid enough to allow him to get away with it. You felt scared of the public and how they’d react, as well as the press. You felt so much disgust with yourself for allowing him to kiss you while being suspicious of another woman. Most of all, however, you were disappointed. Not in him, but yourself. You had played up this act, this lie that he had continued for two months, because you were too scared of the truth. You were scared of change, because he was all you ever knew. That wasn’t who you were.
Just know, I’m trying my best
You’d been recovering since the breakup, Izuku by your side. Slowly, he helped you back onto your feet, not financially, but emotionally. You were grateful every day for what he had done for you. He helped you the night you released your official statement, hugging you close as you cried into his chest. He took you out with your friends so you’d feel a little better, and he tried his best to do little things for you. Even though he was the number 1 hero, he still managed to remember things like your favorite candy or what kind of conditioner you preferred. It shocked you, to be honest. Bakugo never seemed to remember that kind of stuff.
Slowly, you went back to normal. A month passed since your breakup, and you were no longer holing yourself up in Izuku’s guest bedroom. You started looking for an apartment, and slowly, you felt yourself getting better. You were going to miss living with Izuku, but you were searching for something close by so you could still visit him whenever you wanted.
Currently, you were waiting for Izuku to meet up with you at your favorite café. He was going to help you pick an apartment complex today, and you were excited to see him as he had been working nonstop all week.
It had been fun, living with Izuku. You enjoyed being able to crack jokes while he cooked dinner and share a bowl of popcorn while watching mean girls, his unruly hair pushed back by a headband while he had a face mask on. It was funny to see him cranky in the morning, teasing him as you handed him his morning coffee. During the month, you had felt feelings bubble up in your chest for the broccoli-headed boy. You promptly shut those thoughts down. That was Bakugo’s childhood friend, and you were not about to get dragged into a love triangle, if you could call it that.
But when you look
You raised your head as you heard the familiar chime of the café’s entrance bell. Smiling, you got up to hug Izuku and pushed your computer aside. “Hey Y/N!” He said, smiling as he patted your head. You sat down, pulling you computer to your body. “Let’s get started!”.
When you laugh
When you smile
I’ll bring you back
“And then the guy had the audacity to say he didn’t steal anything when I had watched him!” Izuku finished, his story making you cry laughing. You two had finished apartment hunting, your computer closed off to the side as you enjoyed your friend’s company. A smile stayed on your face as you sipped you drink. What you weren’t aware of, was the gaze of a certain ash-blonde male.
He scoffed, his eyes watching you as you gently leaned your head against your hand. You looked at Izuku the same way you looked at him in high school. What was so great about him anyways? He didn’t even have his own quirk. He was nobody compared to...
He watched as you smiled at Izuku with so much love, so much joy. It hurt.
And now I’m sad
And I’m a mess
He knew it was his fault. He shouldn’t have done what he did. Sleeping around with his sidekick was the last thing he thought he was going to do. He knew he could just as easily go to you to get what he want, yet he didn’t. Was he bored? No, he wasn’t- he just thought he was hot shit. He thought that because he had reached number 2 status and you were content with where you were in life that you failed to keep up with him. He thought you went back on your promise.
But you hadn’t.
And now we high
That’s why I left
He stood up, paying for his food as he walked out. You blinked as you saw someone leaving, before making eye contact with him. Katsuki.
You immediately looked at Izuku, your muscles tensing up. “He’s here.” You muttered. He sighed, a mix of sympathy and annoyance mixed on his face. “I don’t know why he’s following you. You aren’t going to go back to him... are you?” He asked, looking at you. Pausing, you sighed. “It’s complicated.” You muttered, folding your hands. “I don’t want to right now, bu-“
“Then dont.” He said. You looked at him. “What?” “Don’t go back. Actually, I have a better idea.” He said, turning away as his cheeks flushed pink. You tilted your head. “What are you talking about, Izu?” You asked.
He looked at you, a small smile on his face. “What would you say if I suggested going on a date?” He asked. You blinked, eyes going wide. “A-a what?” You asked. He immediately waved his hands, getting flustered as he tried to backtrack. “Y-you don’t have to! It hasn’t been very long and I know you’re still probably recovering- oh my god why did I suggest this-“ he said, shooting off into a ramble as you smiled. Grabbing his hand, he stopped to look at you.
“I’d like that, Izuku.”
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Humming, you added the finishing touches to your outfit as you combed out your hair. Your date plans were originally to go to a hero museum, however the hero commission decided to schedule a last-minute dinner party to congratulate Izuku on his ranking. You decided to go as his plus-one, and you were currently getting ready to leave.
“Y/N, are you almost- woah...” he said, question falling short as he stared at you. You laughed, getting up and grabbing his keys. “Yeah, let’s go.” You said, handing them to him. He put them in his pocket before holding your face gently. “You look amazing.” He said, a smile gracing his delicate features as you blushed. “Thanks- um... let’s go.” You said, gently moving his hands off so he wouldn’t see how embarrassed you were. He laughed, pulling his keys out and following you.
Will your tongue still remember the taste of my lips?
You knew he was going to be there. It was only inevitable. What you didn’t know, however, was that he was bringing her. Akemi Futara. You felt your skin crawl as she stared at you, like she had won a prize and was showing it off to the losing player. It made you sick, thinking of how you kissed him when he had gotten home after fucking her, and she knew that.
Sighing, you leaned into Izuku’s side, causing him to glance at you before giving you a sympathetic look. “I know, I know. If you want, I-I can ask for them to lea-“ “I’m fine. I know he’s your friend. She’s just annoying.” you muttered, closing your eyes. The people that kept coming up to interact with you and Izuku were giving you a headache. You could feel Bakugo’s stare on you, causing you to feel uncomfortable. He eyed you like you were still his.
“Izuku, kiss me please.” You said, causing him to turn to you sharply. A blush exploded across his face, and his eyes went wide. “I-I- whAt?” He stuttered, causing you to sigh. “Bakugo won’t take the hint. He’s gonna try to talk to me.” You muttered. “I just need to make him understand that I’ve moved on, so kiss me. You’re a grown man, so it’s not hard.” You teased. He gulped. Leaning down, he gave you a quick peck on the cheek. You huffed. “What the hell-“ “I don’t think we should kiss out of spite. I... I want it to be special, if we do...” he muttered shyly. You paused before smiling at him. “Izu, you’re adorable.” you giggled.
Will your shadow remember the swing of my hips?
Bakugo watched as you had fun, dancing your heart out with your friends. He felt envy as he watched Izuku struggle to groove with you. He watched as you took his hands and tried your best to teach him, slowly helping him understand. To say he was mad was an understatement. No, he was angry- pissed even. You dumped him and now you’re going after the guy he’s known since childhood? How low of a blow could you deal?
Jealousy was eating away at his core. He felt the same jealousy as he watched Izuku get everything he had wanted in life. Why couldn’t he have that? Why did it need to be him? As he grew in ranks, he distanced himself from you to work better, and you were okay with that. But he wanted more. He wanted to climb and climb and go higher and higher, but you had been content right where you were. You promised him you’d keep up with his pace, but as you brought up the thoughts you had of marriage, he realized that you wanted him to settle down with you.
And he didn’t want that.
Will your lover caress you the way that I did?
He realized as Izuku gently held your hands that he was wrong about everything. He should have just settled down. You were all he wanted in someone, and yet somehow, he wanted more. He was so greedy that he failed to see that what he had was the best he could get. He never gave you what you needed, yet he thought that he needed more.
Will you notice my charm if he slips up one bit?
He watched you go over to the bar and get a drink of water, chest heaving from how much dancing you had done. Getting up, he looked over to where Akemi was socializing before going over to you.
You saw him, cringing as you immediately turned your back to him. You didn’t want to deal with this tonight. It was supposed to be a night for you and Izuku, with no problems in the way. You watched as he took a seat next to you at the bar, ordering a drink before turning to you.
Cause I don’t need to know, I just wanna make sure you’re okay
“How are you?” He asked quietly, causing you to scoff. How were you? Fucking great, right now, but a month ago you were a damn wreck. Rolling your eyes, you looked down at your drink. “Im great. I can tell you are too, with that Akemi girl.” You said, matter of fact. He paused before nodding, despite it being far from the truth.
Cause I don’t need to know, I just wanna make sure you’re all safe
“He hasn’t hurt you, has he?” He asked. You turned to him. “If he did, I wouldn’t be here. Frankly, the only person in this room that’s hurt me is you.” You said, before turning away from him. “Please leave me alone, Katsuki. I don’t want to talk to you.” You muttered. He went quiet, his eyes staring into your back without faltering. After a bit, he closed his eyes and got up, moving away from you as he went to go talk to his friends. You sighed before feeling a hand on your shoulder.
“I’m proud of you.” Izuku said softly, gently rubbing circles into your shoulder. You smiled. You were proud of yourself too.
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Will he play you those songs just the way that I did?
Izuku fumbled as he grabbed a guitar pick, sitting crossed-legged across from you on your bed. He had picked up learning how to play in his free time, and he wanted to show you what he knew.
Rain hit the windows quietly as he started to play you your favorite song, causing you to smile. He was so thoughtful, and he had shown you as much throughout the month you and him had spent dating.
Your memories with Bakugo were forever burned into your brain, but that was in the past. You had Izuku now. And that’s all you needed.
He started to sing quietly, smiling as you joined in. You watched his calloused hand stroke the guitar with such care. It made your heart flutter, how he was so built yet so gentle.
You heard a knock at your apartment door, causing you to go quiet as you looked at him. “Did you invite Uraraka over?” He asked curiously. You shook your head, watching as he set his guitar aside on the bed carefully. “I’ll get it. He muttered, moving to get up, but you stopped him. “It’s fine, I got it. Just relax.” You said, kissing his cheek before getting up and making your way to the door. Unlocking it, you pulled it open.
“Y/N.” Bakugo said, ruby eyes meeting yours. You blinked. What the hell was he doing here? It was raining, for Christ’s sake!
You frowned. “What is it, Bakugo.” You said, using his name formally. He cringed. It was like you never knew him. “I need to talk to you. Please, let me in.” He said. You had never seen him so desperate.
Will he play you so strong just the way that I did?
You huffed, crossing your arms. “Whatever you need to tell me better be short and sweet.” You said, opening the door as he stepped inside. You stopped him before he sat down on your couch. “You can stand.” You said coldly.
Clearing his throat, he looked you in the eyes.
“I want you back Y/N.”.
Will he treat you like shit just the way that I did?
You felt yourself go numb as he started to apologize in his stereotypical way. “I was an asshole, and I’m sorry.” He said. You could hear your ears ringing as you stared at him. Who the hell did he think he was?
“It took you two months to work past your pride and apologize? Are you kidding me?” You said angrily, causing him to huff. “I never apologize for anything, so this just shows how much I care.” “No, it shows how much of a fucking asshole you are!”
Cause I don’t blame you.
Growling, he balled his hands up as he started to shout back. “Why can’t you ever just listen to me?” He said. You laughed. “You don’t deserve that after you cheated on me and then apologized two months later after I had already moved on!” You shouted. You heard Izuku come down the hallway, seeing Bakugo argue with you. He gave him a look he rarely gave anyone. It was one of anger.
Cause I don’t need to know, I just wanna make sure you’re okay
“Get out.” He said coldly. Bakugo turned to him, anger evident in his eyes. “What the hell did you just say to me, Deku?” He sneered, causing you to glare at him. “I said get out. You’ve overstayed your welcome with my partner.” He responded. You watched as the realization hit Bakugo like a brick. He lost.
You finally knew you were worth more than him.
Cause I don’t need to know, I just wanna make sure you’re all safe.
You watched as he left quietly, shutting the door behind him. Izuku was still tense from the confrontation, and you went over to him. Touching his face gently, you gave him a sweet kiss on the lips. He turned red, immediately relaxing. “What was that for?” He asked. You smiled. “It was for defending me. Thank you for everything, Izuku.” You said softly. He smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist. “It’s my pleasure.” He said, kissing your temple.
You will always have memories of Bakugo.
But now, you had Izuku.
242 notes · View notes
inkytrinket-irii · 3 years
Text
SBI HadesTown AU That Lives In My head Rent Free
(in fact I probably pay it to live there)
Links at the end under the cut.
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Starring:
• Dream, George, and Sapnap as The Fates  • Philza as Hermes • Wilbur as Persephone  • Technoblade as Hades • Tommy as Eurydice
and
• Tubbo as Orpheus
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Changes to the story - 
Instead of spouses, Wilbur and Techno are estranged brothers.
Instead of lovers, Tommy and Tubbo are best friends.
The focus is still on restoring balance to the world but through familiar and platonic love instead of romantic. Also, the reason the world is so bad is a more social crisis (some people work too much while others can’t work at all) instead of a natural one (the seasons being wack.) 
It takes place during a seething summer drought rather than a frozen cropless winter but its still the same tune of spring/fall disappearing because the the world being out of tune. 
Character Changes -
+ Philza is an old god. He’s not weaker nor stronger than Wilbur/Techno, just fills up a very different role. He’s god of history, of legends, of simple stories and narration. He’s very human compared to most gods, some theorize perhaps he straight up IS human in some way shape or form. He lives a human life to meet people and collect their lives and stories and appreciate them. He can’t really interfere as more than a mortal man but still just tries to give as many happy endings as he can.
+ Tommy’s a scrappy lost child. His problem is similar to Eurydice but a little inverted. Rather than learning to trust people he needs to learn to value them. He’s no issue with interacting with people and enjoying their help/company but he’s a tendency to use them. He doesn’t believe they’ll stick around so he doesn’t bother caring about them.
+ Tubbo is also an abandoned child. Unlike Tommy he grew up in one spot, although still homeless. Philza found him camping in a crate box behind his station and gave him a job and a bed. He’s pretty much exactly like Orpheus, optimistic, sees the world for what it could be instead of what it is, but maybe spends a little too much time looking forward and not around.
+ Technoblade is basically the god of work and motivation. His problem is generally the same as Hades’ in that he misses his family and is too busy working and building security for what he wants to get what he wants. He misses his brother so much he’s hardend himself to the reasons they’re apart so much in the first place.
+ Wilbur is basically the god of play and rest. In this AU, instead of Hades, Persephone’s role is the biggest reason the world is out of wack. His problem is that he doesn’t face his problems. As the god of such frivolous things as music, games, rest, etc. he is (feels) weak and useless. He’s jealous of Techno and how needed he is so Wilbur retreats away to somewhere he feels needed and wanted, entertaining miserable people. He’s stayed away for longer and longer amounts of time, not realizing his distracting them from their troubles (inadvertently preventing them from fixing them) is a reason they’re so miserable in the first place. All he can do is have a good time so he’s begun forcing it every second of every day and ignoring his brother in the meantime. He needs to learn that he CAN do good, people NEED breaks and fun, but recklessly enforcing it only enforces what he fears, that he’s a liability. 
So, the main problem is a cycle the brothers have spiraled into:
Techno does obviously important things (stirring progress and improvement) and Wilbur feels bad, unimportant, and like a burden.
Wilbur leaves Techno to go distract himself/play with the humans.
Wilbur becomes useless and detrimental without Technoblade there to balance him out.
Techno works even harder, becoming empty and cold without Wilbur there to balance him out, trying to get enough work done so Wilbur won’t have to worry and will come back.
Wilbur sees Techno working so hard and shies away even more so as not to disturb his brother’s important work.
Technoblade has to basically force Wilbur to stay with him now, making it more work.
Wilbur sees Technoblade as both too important for him and now generally unappealing as unnecessary effort. Besides, he’d probably just get in the way.
Technoblade now sees Wilbur as just another part of his endless job. Keep people working, keep things improving, keep the numbers going up, try to keep Wilbur here. Its become work for the sake of work instead of work to the sake of rest.
So even when they’re together neither is relaxed enough to balance the other, both are distant.
Wilbur’s become too carefree, he ignores Technoblade and drops anything that seems challenging, including reconciliation and self-examination. He’s still just playing, even when with Technoblade.
Technoblade’s become too obsessed, focusing more on how to get and keep his brother with him than on being with his brother. The work has become meaningless without the end goal that Wilbur provides. A self sustaining cycle of labor for more labor’s sake.
Now the humans are suffering because they find themselves trapped in an unbalanced cycle of being either incapable of work or incapable of play.
Thematic notes:
- The dancers in the station during the first half are Skeppy, Antfrost, Bad, Eret, and Puffy. 
- The workers (the dancers in the second half) consist of Niki, Fundy, Quackity, Ranboo, and Awsam.
- Tommy is implied to vaguely know/be brotherly to Techno and Wilbur, this is partially how Techno convinces him to leave and go work for him. 
- Likewise, Philza has a few lines about feeling sorry about how Techno and WIlbur have ended up (implying he took some part in raising them) and already knows Tommy when he enters (implying he’s been a dad to helped Tommy out before.
- Technoblade is less malicious than Hades, more just cold and apathetic. In a way, he thinks he’s helping by pulling Tommy away from Tubbo. He, like Wilbur, believes that work is good so more work must be better, even if you’ve nothing to really work towards. At the end he listens to the fates because needs to figure out how to let Tommy go without undoing either all of Wilbur’s power or all of his. 
- Tubbo’s song has a bigger impact on fauna than floral, specifically insects. His first song brings out bees, butterflies, and moths that Tommy goes all star eyed for because pretty bugs but more importantly, living things that don’t want to hurt him!
- Instead of a flower Tommy gets a big beautiful orange moth (named Clementine) that hides in the back of his coat neck whenever Technoblade is near. He remembers in ‘Flowers’ when he goes to wipe some sweat from his neck but its Clementine and she flies around him while he sings. (I thought that’d be much prettier than him just holding her like Eurydice holds the flower.) 
- During ‘Living it Up On Top’ Wilbur dances specifically with Philza (who greets him very much like a father might greet a son who’s been away for a long time) and Tommy (who he teases and ruffles his hair a lot).
- Wilbur does drugs instead of alcohol. He... he makes a lot of drugs so I thought this would be an appropriate swap. Also it’s really funny to me that he sings Our Lady Of The Underground (or, Brother To The Underground) just completely stoned; handing out weed and shit to the workers.
- Instead of a mine Hadestown (Technotown? Technoville?) is a farm in a giant glass case built way up high. Instead of going through the dark that challenge is Tubbo has to climb up its side to avoid the train. Its an unnatural and unwelcoming greenhouse. Everything grows in lines but they’re mismatched and overrun with thorny weeds. Everything is grey and tough and flavorless. There’s so much dust and dirt being kicked up it’s hard to breathe and see. The workers are using various gardening tools during the beats instead of swinging a pickaxe. Half will sharpen while the other half swings (tilling the ground/cutting weeds), it makes a real nice schwing/thunk mix sound. 
- During ‘Word To The Wise’ George sings (“if you tell them no you’re a heartless man”) Sapnap sings (“if you let ‘em go you’re a spineless king”) and Dream sings (”here’s a little tip”) and (“men are fools, men are frail”)
- Tubbo still looks back during ‘Doubt Comes In’ because he's scared of Techno and feels bad about himself (“Who am I? Who am I to think that he would follow me into the blazing heat again”). Techno, Wilbur, and Philza try their best to take care of them but it’s still a tragic ending. 
- Tommy and Tubbo may or may not become (very sad and minor) gods. Unofficially and not in the story, but still... maybe. If they WERE, hypothetically,  they’d be a very tragic pair. Tubbo would help mend relationships and guid people towards good advice while Tommy would help catch/ignore/cut out bad ones. Always working together, never together. 
Lyrical Changes 
> Pronouns are changed, obviously.
> Techno and Wilbur sing “brother” instead of “lover.”
> During ‘The Wedding Song’ (The Friendship Song, I do not care if it’s childish, Wedding is replaced with Friendship) They sing each other’s names instead of “lover.” (Tubbo, tell me if you can...////Tommy, when I sing my song...)
> Anytime they’re complaining about the cold winter replace it with a hot summer
> Tommy’s lines are much sharper. He never loses his edge with Tubbo. Instead of him remembering him and going “my best friend, Tubbo” he remembers and says something more along the lines of “that fucking idiot, Tubbo” but he’s say it with a quivering smile and bittersweet tears in his eyes. Harsh in words not in tone. 
> Wilbur still pours a glass for a toast during ‘Living It Up On Top’ but the rest of the time he’s smoking something instead of drinking. (Who gives breaks when the work is hard?//That's right, Wilbur Soot!//Who makes the music? Who’s your bard?//(Wilbur Soot!)//Thank you//Who makes a rough life fun again, in spite of a pig//(You do!)//Who’s the most awaited gig? Eh? Wilbur Soot, that’s who!)
> When Wilbur shows up during ‘Chant’ he complains about how cold and dark it is. (Colder than a tundra) Techno explains it away as having set up shades/coolers to counter the glare from the sun through greenhouse glass and how he did it to protect/comfort Wilbur. (Brother when you feel that chill, it’s my protection from the kill, its my protection that i’ve built for you.)
> In the Chant Reprise the workers are singing about why they’re working if they can never enjoy the security and safety they keep making. Technoblade, instead of telling him to buy Tommy’s love, tells him to make himself needed. He, instead of warning Tubbo about Tommy leaving, scolds Tubbo for being too light and fluffy and spinelessly letting Tommy go. He scolds him for trying to take Tommy away, back into uselessness and empty fluff, when he’s found a good purpose because clearly Tubbo wasn’t point enough. 
> Philza’s still the narrator, but diegetically his lyrics show more clearly that he knows everyone in the story already. I really like the idea of him giving Tubbo advice on making friends that gets shown in ‘Come Home With Me’
> When Tubbo sings about Techno, instead of singing about minework, he’ll sing things like ((from the second stanza of Epic II) “Technoblade, king//of power and pain//of a hard days work//that never ends//and for half of the year when Wilbur’s away//the strain and the stress just won’t give way//he thinks of his brother, light and carefree//and is taken in a rage of obligation and need//to ensure wants are met and safe//so there will be time for play//so his bother//his brother comes home) 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This post all started because I was thinking of Tubbo singing the “La lala laaa” that was originally Wilbur’s song. 
Also, I realize this entire AU is just one big punch in the gut to Philza, like, “HEY, ALL YOUR SONS ARE SCREWED UP, NOW SING ABOUT IT.”
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morganaseren · 3 years
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Warden Niamh/Warden Bethany AU
So because there seemed to be interest in the idea, I decided to expand on the second prompt on this list of AUs I made for Bethany and my Niamh Cousland.
Since Bethany is a Circle Mage in Niamh’s canon verse, I really wanted to experiment with Bethany in one of her other potential routes We don’t talk about the ones where she died not long after escaping Lothering or down in the Deep Roads. Like, what are you talking about? Lalala~ and see if I could work together a happier ending than what the games canonically gave her.
Like most of the AUs I’ve already written about though, this is just a snippet into the verse, so it’s not as polished as I’d like it to be, and the pacing isn’t on par with my main fic. However, there are still 50+ pages for your reading pleasure! Depending on reader interest, I’ll be more than happy to write more about this or other AUs once OtSttCA is completed.
Disclaimer: Any section written in present tense beneath the Read More contains notes or scenes that I’ve yet to expand upon properly.
CliffNotes version of what goes on:
This whole thing takes place sometime after Bethany becomes a Grey Warden and continues on through the years-long breaks between the Acts of DA2. The epilogue will be set sometime after the Trespasser DLC is completed.
Niamh is the Grey Warden who Morrigan chooses to do the Dark Ritual with, and through the obvious use of magic, Kieran is conceived. Because of this, Niamh’s sister Saoirse escapes her otherwise canonical death and gets to be happily married to Leliana.
Because of their mutual respect for one another, and the fact that Niamh went through the trouble of finding Morrigan through the events of the Witch Hunt DLC (she was worried about her friend and their son), she and Morrigan remain in close contact and co-parent Kieran together. Their relationship is often mistaken as a romantic one though.
Bethany eventually falls in love with Niamh over the years, but because she believes the other woman is in a relationship with Morrigan, she keeps her feelings to herself. As such, this is obviously going to be a slow burn romance much like OtSttCA.
Bethany only confesses (albeit by accident) when Niamh nearly dies during a darkspawn ambush when the two woman accidentally find themselves trapped down in the Deep Roads.
There’s a romantic kiss out in the rain along with a semi-NSFW scene later on, which explains why the Read More is in place beyond the fact that this is already super long despite the fact that it’s unfinished...
They both go off in search of the cure to The Calling not long after the Kirkwall Rebellion, and they both eventually get married sometime after the Trespasser DLC with Divine Victoria (spoilers: it’s Leliana) officiating their wedding.
Interested so far? Click below to read more!
“You’re originally from Ferelden, no?” Stroud asked, drawing Bethany’s attention from where she’d been listlessly staring at the cobblestones as they walked away from Amaranthine’s sea port.
The city itself seemed to be thriving with fishmongers and traders of all kinds rattling off their wares to passersby. Save for the workers carrying about lumber and other building materials, one might not have even believed that Amaranthine had suffered its fair share of woes during the onset of the Fifth Blight or the consequent, mysterious darkspawn attack upon its walls nearly a year later. Still, the denizens of the arling were ever a hearty people. For whatever hardship befell them, they continued to persevere. 
She supposed she couldn’t bring herself to be too surprised by that.
The Storm Coast had spawned some of Thedas’ most fearsome raiders once upon a time, and they had proven the bane of Orlais in the rebellion that had spanned over half an Age. For the empire’s trespass upon their freedom, they had fought back with a ruthlessness that matched the raging waves of the sea that was as much a home to them as the land. In the face of such an unsympathetic enemy, they depended on one another to see themselves and each other through to another day. Such faith eventually earned them the liberation they had long sought against Orlais.
Bethany could still see evidence of such camaraderie in the way the people greeted one another so whole-heartedly, stopping to make conversation or help with the transportation of wares. It was such interaction that she’d miss in all the time she’d been away.
Kirkwall had lacked such sincere enthusiasm.
Still, in the two years since she’d left it, she was finally back home, but Bethany knew it was yet another decision she hadn’t had a say in. She hadn’t agreed to returning to Ferelden any more than she had agreed to becoming a Grey Warden. Her jaw clenched, remembering how her sister had simply handed her over to them even when faced with the proposition that they’d likely never see one another again.
Was it really so easy for you to leave me behind, Sister? she thought bitterly, and perhaps upon sensing her melancholy, Stroud changed the subject.
“I realize it seems a rather abrupt choice in returning you here, but what I seek is far too dangerous for someone so new to our way of life to accompany me with,” he explained. “I’m meeting with the Warden-Commander of the Fereldan branch so that I might share some information in the event that things go awry. Their group is smaller than the ones seen across Thedas, but no one can deny their efficiency.” Stroud spared a small chuckle at that. “A bit like your sister and her crew, I suppose; I thought perhaps you would be more comfortable in such a setting.”
It had been a thoughtful suggestion; Bethany knew that. Still, she couldn’t help but sigh. She had always felt that the individuals whom had made up her little social circle were more Emrys’ friends than they had ever been hers. Her older sister had the type of presence to draw anyone to her with her rakish charm and absolute battle prowess.
…which was the exact opposite of her.
As an apostate, it was far easier to stay out of trouble by being unobtrusive. If she gave the Templars no reason to suspect her, she wouldn’t be taken away from her family and the quiet life she had always known. Yet, for all her trouble—and for all her desperation to abide by the rules of a society that had long hated mages like her—she had found herself alone anyway.
Bethany sighed as she looked down at the blues and silvers of the brigandine and tabard of her outfit that signified her status as a Grey Warden. Even with her staff openly displayed across her back, she supposed she no longer had to fear being turned into the authorities. Save for a few curious glances, no one so much as batted an eye at them.
She wasn’t entirely convinced this new life was better than the one she’d left. She could have dealt with the ever-present uncertainty in Kirkwall and the endless, interpersonal squabbles of their ragtag group than spending the remainder of her years surrounded by strangers and fighting darkspawn.
But the choice wasn’t hers to make.
Very little ever was.
---
“So that’s Velanna. She took over as Archivist for our branch when the Warden-Constable was promoted to her current position by our Commander,” Nathaniel said as he took Bethany and Stroud through a tour of Vigil’s Keep since the fortress’ respective Warden-Commander and Warden-Constable were currently out on business.
Their latest stop was a library filled with seemingly endless rows of bookshelves and even more that lined the walls of the chamber that consisted of three separate levels. It was impressive, and Bethany was half-convinced she could have spent an Age in this room alone and never be able to read the entirety of its collection.
At Nathaniel’s commentary, she spared a cursory glance at the woman writing intently at one of the tables furthest away from them, paying little mind to her audience. As was typical of most elves, Velanna was a slight woman. Her hair was a shade of blonde so pale that it was nearly white, but there was a surliness in her pensive expression that gave Bethany pause. It was something that suggested the other woman didn’t welcome the company of others easily, and she seemed to have been proven right by Nathaniel’s words.
“Don’t mind her if she’s a bit standoffish at first. Velanna’s usually that way with everyone until she starts warming up to them,” he assured.
“Oh?”
“Yes. She didn’t really like humans all that much to begin with—hardly a surprise considering how terrible some of them were toward her former clan. Truthfully, I think the only people she really respects are our commanding officers—the Constable mostly though.” He spared a soft chuckle at that. “Granted, the Warden-Commander could lead a damn army from one side of Thedas to the other, but only her sister has the type of negotiation skills that could somehow end up with a High Dragon allied with a sheep of all things.”
“Probably a good thing,” said Varel—the Keep’s seneschal. There was amusement in his dark eyes as he stroked his beard, which had long grown grey with age. “Actually succeeding in getting the Warden-Constable angry is a terrifying sight to behold.”
“Please don’t remind me; I still have nightmares from our first meeting…” Nathaniel muttered with a shudder.
Bethany found that curious, but before she could begin to question him, she saw how he blinked at further movement inside the library. She followed his gaze to see that a dark-haired, dwarven woman had entered through one of the side entrances, carrying two, steaming mugs. One had been set before Velanna, who whispered something quietly, but both of Bethany’s brows rose when she saw how the elf’s cheeks quickly reddened by the kiss that had been pressed to them by her latest visitor.
“Ah. And that’s Sigrun there—another one of those few, honored individuals who Velanna won’t immediately snap at,” Nathaniel remarked humorously.
The tour then continued elsewhere with the party entering the Mess Hall. While neat and tidy, it would have otherwise been unremarkable were it not for the lone dwarf snoring loudly atop one of the tables—an empty cask by his side. Bethany and Stroud shared bemused glances while Varel only cursed next to them, running a weary hand down his face.
“I told you we needed better locks for the cellar if we’re to keep Oghren away from the wine stores,” Nathaniel deadpanned.
Oghren grumbled nonsensically in his sleep before promptly rolling off the table and right onto the floor, loudly overturning more than a few chairs in the process. Despite the fall, he continued to doze away, and his snoring only seemed to grow in volume. They then watched as the poor seneschal wearily hauled the dwarf back to his quarters before he could cause another incident in front of their guests.
“…well, that was Oghren,” Nathaniel muttered, rubbing the back of his neck with a weary sigh. “Quite the interesting fellow, that one. With him, you’ve pretty much met every Warden in the Keep save for—”
He was interrupted by the sound of voices coming down the hallway.
“I told you that I’m more than capable of walking on my own!” protested a feminine voice, irritation evident within it.
“Says the woman who was nearly side-swiped off a cliff by an ogre,” came the deeper timbre of another woman’s amused reply.
Unlike Nathaniel or herself, the latest arrivals didn’t seem to bear the typical, Fereldan accent or even Stroud’s Orlesian one from what she could tell. Bethany could hear how some of the vowels lilted somewhat as they spoke.
“It didn’t really give me any choice in the matter,” was the dry response. “It was either stand before its charge or risk the family in the wagon being swept over the edge instead.”
“I was hardly questioning your bravery, Sister. The people in that caravan certainly wouldn’t, but perhaps leave the more death-defying stunts to those of us with the armor to handle it, hm? I shudder to think what our brother or Aunt Eithne (writer’s note: pronounced Eth-Nah) would say once they find out about this...”
“Perhaps that you were lazing about while I was doing all the work as per usual.”
“Hey!”
Two women appeared in the doorway of the Mess Hall then, and Bethany was startled to find that one of them rivaled her older sister in both height and size. She was a warrior through and through if the impressive greatsword over her shoulder and her overall physique was any indication. Her mane of hair was the color of pale wheat, the length of which was held in a braid that trailed down half her back, and her eyes were a deep, stormy grey. The woman she was carrying—her sister, according to their conversation—was much slighter in comparison.
Rather than sharing in the warrior’s blonde-haired looks, hers was a stark, raven-black. The loose curls trailed to roughly chin-length with a longer fringe that covered one of her eyes—the color a whisper of smoke than the darker grey her sister had. The woman’s arms were also crossed over her chest as she regarded her sister—deeply-unimpressed—before her features cleared at the sight of their visitors.
“Ah. Stroud. Glad to see you and your companion made it across the Waking Sea safely. We weren’t expecting you both for at least another day, or we’d have sent an escort to meet you at the port.”
“No need for the trouble. The winds were kind during our voyage, Warden-Constable,” he said before tilting his head in concern. “Although it appears we’ve arrived too late to help you both. Has the darkspawn presence been more troubling as of late?”
The warrior whom Bethany deduced to be the Warden-Commander merely snorted. “They’re not as plentiful as they were a year ago thankfully. With Niamh’s and Velanna’s respective magic, our branch here has slowly been sealing any access tunnels we’ve come across, but our enemy may just be as awful as vermin with how they manage to reappear in other areas.”
“The incidents have been isolated so far as we can tell, but they’re capable of disrupting travel all the same. On that note…” The Constable trailed off as she turned her gaze toward the Warden who had been showing them about the Keep. “Nathaniel, we have guests from the caravan mentioned earlier. As it’s getting rather late, Saoirse and I decided it was best not to press our luck by letting them travel so soon after the darkspawn attack. Could you and Varel direct them to the guest quarters? We’ll arrange an escort for them to Amaranthine first thing in the morning.”
He pressed a fist over his heart respectfully as he bowed his head. “Of course.”
“Wonderful. Now—”
“Now we get you back to your quarters so that we can tend to your injuries,” her sister interrupted, cheerily grinning when it led to the other woman scowling outright, as if she had been reminded of her current position.
“And I’m more than capable of walking there on my own. Put me down!”
“And risk you further injuring yourself? What type of sister would I be if I were to allow that to happen? Now then!” The Commander directed a smile Bethany’s way, and she jerked in place at the sudden attention. “You’re the latest to join our Order, aren’t you? Stroud mentioned you were a mage. I don’t suppose you know any healing magic, do you?”
“Oh.” Bethany blinked. “Um, well, yes. I have some experience with it.” She had tended to her sister’s and their friends’ injuries often enough back in Kirkwall.
“Excellent. Would you mind tending to Niamh here as best as you can while I go find Velanna? I’m pretty sure my sister fractured a few ribs in that fight earlier.” She chuckled. “And don’t worry if she gives you any trouble; she has a history of being a terrible patient,” she added, earning a pained grunt for her troubles when the woman in question elbowed her sharply in the chest.
---
And before Bethany knew it, she found herself alone with the Warden-Constable in her quarters.
She was trying not to blush at the sight of the woman reclined against the propped pillows at the headboard of the bed. Modesty didn’t seem to be an issue for the other mage. Without another word, she had undressed—with a few occasional winces here and there as the movement pulled at her injuries—and was now bare from the waist up, save for the bindings around her breasts.
Bethany couldn’t help her own wince when she saw the livid bruising that covered the right side of the woman’s torso. It almost looked like the trunk of a tree had been slammed against it if the abrasions and bits of bark embedded into the cuts were any indication.
And she kept insisting to try and walk on her own with an injury like this? she thought in absolute disbelief before delicately pressing the tips of her fingers against the bruise. Despite being as gentle as possible, it still drew a sharp hiss from the Warden-Constable, and Bethany jerked her head up to see the other woman’s clearly pained visage.
“Sorry!”
“No, it needs to be done. Keep going,” she insisted even as pale eyes closed themselves to focus on breathing in and out evenly—albeit with some difficulty.
With permission given, Bethany laid her hand out over the woman’s side, drawing her magic out with a silvery-blue light. From there, she began sounding out the extent of the Warden-Constable’s injuries by feeling where it burned hottest beneath her palm—an indication of how bad the damage was. There was always a tickling sensation that spread out to her fingertips whenever she gently coaxed broken bones back into place. It was akin to puzzle pieces slowly sliding back together before she could encourage them to heal, and she waited for the pulsing waves around them to fade into a dull echo before focusing on the next fractured bone.
As for the bruised muscles surrounding them, they were far easier to deal with. Bethany poured magic beneath the skin in gradual increments—droplets of rain spilling into a cup one by one—until she felt the burning heat simmer down to a more bearable ache. She continued the process, slowly sliding her hand along the woman’s side until the patchwork of blues and blacks which had covered its expanse faded into a yellowish tinge and the superficial cuts had closed themselves. Bethany pulled away then with a satisfied smile.
“What song was that?”
Bethany blinked, turning her gaze up to see silvery eyes staring at her curiously. “Hm?”
“You were humming something while you were healing me.”
“Oh.” She felt heat gathering along her cheeks at the revelation. “It’s an old lullaby my mother used to sing to me. When my father first taught me healing magic, I used to hold my breath while I was performing the spell, but as you can imagine, it’s not a very sound idea unless you want both an unconscious healer and patient.” Embarrassed laughter spilled out of her then as she brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear self-consciously. “After a time, I learned that humming a few songs was useful in reminding me to breathe.”
“I see.” The Warden-Constable smiled, looking a great deal more relaxed as she reclined further against the headboard. “Well, thank you.”
“Of course.”
The Warden-Commander walked in then with Velanna in tow, and the warrior seemed surprised to see her sister still in bed. “Did you actually manage to get her to stay there the entire time?” she asked incredulously.
Bethany blinked in confusion at that since her patient had otherwise been well-behaved. As it was, she could only nod tentatively, causing the other woman to grin openly.
“Hah! Well done! I didn’t expect Stroud to send me someone who could cow her into submission.”
The Warden-Constable’s eyes narrowed then. “It was not my hearing that was damaged in that fight, Saoirse. You would do well to not make such comments before me,” she deadpanned, and despite the threat, it only drew hearty laughter from her sister, who soon drew her attention back to Bethany.
“Stroud said your name was Hawke, right?”
She shifted uncomfortably, having grown too used to her surname being used to refer to Emrys, but she nodded all the same. “I’d prefer just to be called Bethany if that’s alright.”
“Ah. Understandable. Can’t tell you how many times my sister and I both answered ‘yes’ in the same room whenever someone called out for a Warden Cousland.” She smiled. “In any case, welcome to the Fereldan branch of the Grey Wardens, Bethany. We’re glad to have you with us.”
---
After that, Bethany settles into Vigil’s Keep.
She sends letters home every now and then, but they’re usually only addressed to her mother. They’re never really long—just enough to let her know that she’s alive and well. Although Bethany realizes it’s a petty thing, she doesn’t ask about Emrys or send her anything for that matter. She’s still angry and resentful that her older sister managed to escape their adventure down into the Deep Roads unscathed while she got cheated out a future, leaving her to a life of killing darkspawn until the Calling finally takes her into the abyss of death. 
Melancholy is ever her constant companion, but eventually, she gets paired with Niamh for missions, who teaches her much about their duties as Wardens over the months, which takes them all around Ferelden. They deal with darkspawn sightings and document areas where they’ve sealed off underground routes into the Deep Roads with earth-based magic, hopefully preventing them from returning so regularly to bother nearby provinces.
As partners, they slowly become closer.
---
"Do you regret it?" Bethany asked one night as they sat by the campfire, watching as Niamh effortlessly flicked a hand to control the size of it just as a strong wind passed beneath the rocky overhang they'd taken shelter under. "Being a Grey Warden, I mean?"
Niamh paused, giving the matter some thought. "There are worse things to be, I suppose." She shrugged. "For a time, I hated the idea of being a mage because it took me away from my family. However, my being a Grey Warden was likely the only thing that saved me from being slaughtered with the rest of them when Howe plotted his coup. It likely also saved me from dying at the hands of my colleagues in Kinloch Hold when one of the Senior Enchanters overthrew it with blood magic and his followers.” She looked over at Bethany then. "Truthfully, I enjoy being able to see more of the world than through the cage the Chantry kept me in. I like the experience of being a part of it even in the moments that people dislike most."
Niamh held a hand out past the edge of the overhang, casually catching droplets of rain in her palm. Bethany watched as a slow smile spread across her features at the sound of another crash of thunder, and she couldn’t help how her own heart seemed to quicken upon seeing that serene expression.
"Our lives are more finite than they ever were," Bethany said distractedly, knowing all Wardens had only a few decades at most after their Joining.
"They are," she conceded. "That’s why I intend to make the most of it." Niamh's expression then turned sheepish as she turned back toward her. "I’m sorry. That probably wasn’t the answer you were looking for, was it?"
"No," she admitted, but as mellow as the other woman was, she was hardly surprised. Niamh had a way of remaining positive despite everything else life seemed to throw at them. Bethany smiled in spite of herself. "It was an honest one though. Thank you."
---
Every day is always an interesting adventure.
If not darkspawn, they deal with brigands out on the road or aid people across the countryside. To Bethany’s surprise, their help is openly requested sometimes when they reach a new town or village. Following the Blight, the utter bravery of the Grey Wardens had earned them Ferelden’s deepest respect. Thus, despite the fact they’re two mages traveling about, their regalia draws easy admiration and conversation alike.
It’s admittedly an odd feeling to have as a mage: to be wanted.
Bethany slowly grows to enjoy it though, especially when she can help with her magic so openly without being reviled for it.
Sometimes the jobs asked of them are simple enough: deal with a band of thieves, rid the area of rabid animals encroaching too close to farmland, helping out with some odds and ends around the village, etc.
Given that Niamh is a veteran of the Fifth Blight, Bethany also ends up learning a lot of survival skills from her during their travels together. She’s endlessly amazed by how the other mage utilizes her magic in combat and with other tasks such as hunting or fishing.
Bethany’s understandably shocked when she realizes that Niamh knows how to shapeshift, often scouting the skies as a raven to search for any nearby danger or roaming the wilderness as a sleek-looking, black wolf to hunt for game. It’s an unexpected revelation, especially since the other woman admitted to having been a part of the Circle most of her life before being recruited as a Warden.
She’s never met another mage so intriguing.
While Anders had been a benevolent healer, offering his skills to those most in need, it was his restless anger—an almost blind righteousness—over the plight of mages that gave Bethany pause.
Merrill was sweet in comparison, of course, and Bethany never minded talking with her even if there were the occasional cultural gaps that led to amusing misunderstandings at times. Still, the other woman held an interest in blood magic that Bethany wasn’t entirely certain she was comfortable with. After all, she had grown up hearing about the dangers of such magic from the Chantry. Then again, Andrastian religion also denounced who she was as a person as well, which was depressing in its own right…
While Niamh’s aptitude for elemental magic alone is impressive, Bethany is certain the woman’s shapeshifting draws upon some form of ancient or arcane magic—something well outside of the Circle’s teachings. It draws her curiosity endlessly. As such, Bethany asks her about the skill one day. Niamh just smiles, idly toying with the wooden ring that sits on a cord of black leather around her neck, revealing that a former companion taught it to her.
And that’s how Bethany learns about Morrigan.
---
“What?” Bethany exclaimed when Saoirse revealed how she was able to survive the slaying of the Archdemon. “You’re telling me that she and Niamh were able to…” She trailed off, trying to fight the blush burning across her face as her mind began imagining the possibilities of how such a conception was possible.
“You know, I thought to ask Niamh the technicalities of it once, but given she’s my baby sister—and obviously lacks the essential, uh, tool for the matter—I just decided it was best not to pry,” Saoirse answered dryly. She idly waved her hand about. “I don’t care to learn about her intimate life any more than she cares to know about mine,” she added before the corner of her mouth lifted into a lazy grin. “But for all intents and purposes, Kieran is my nephew, and Morrigan’s very much family now despite her protests to the contrary.”
“And he has the soul of an Old God?” she asked quietly as she turned to look at Kieran and the two women who were his parents.
Oghren had heard of their latest visitors and was—
Bethany squinted in confusion.
He was doing some type of weird jig in front of the baby, who was currently in Morrigan’s arms. Unfortunately, the erratic, uncoordinated nature of it did nothing to amuse him or his mother. Seemingly uncomfortable by the sight, Kieran gave an unhappy whine before reaching out toward Niamh, little fingers grasping repeatedly in her direction. Morrigan transferred him easily into the other woman’s arms when it was clear she wouldn’t mind holding him, allowing her to dryly berate the dwarf while Niamh comforted their son.
“So Morrigan says, yes,” the warrior answered with a shrug. “I originally turned down her ritual because I couldn’t bear the thought of subjecting an innocent life to such a fate, but I can’t be mad at the result. I still have Leliana because of it, and I can see how much Niamh adores both Kieran and Morrigan.” Her smile softened. “She has a piece of the happiness that I always wanted for her—something Niamh felt she could never find in this world, terrible as it is for mages at times.”
Bethany couldn’t help but agree at the latter sentiment.
Looking at the three of them, they certainly did seem like a happy family. Still, Bethany couldn’t help but feel some small pang of envy. While she had discovered that Niamh could draw just about anyone into easy conversation with her, she was rather private about her personal life. It wasn’t until recently that Bethany discovered she was even in a relationship—let alone one involving another woman. She had no issue with the idea or with Morrigan for that matter. The other mage was well-matched with Niamh on the basis of intrigue alone, but…
Bethany bit her lip.
After all those long months together with Niamh, she couldn’t help but feel—
Bethany nearly swallowed her tongue when she realized sharp, golden eyes were staring at her over Niamh’s head—as if somehow reading her thoughts. Morrigan was tall for a woman of Fereldan origin, but not nearly as much as Saoirse. With her dark hair and pale skin, she was as bewitching as she was powerful—her magical aura a fount of seemingly endless, wild energy. Bethany almost felt like prey beneath the other woman’s gaze, and she averted her own nervously.
Thankfully, Morrigan made no comment about it, but Bethany did wince when she heard her suggest turning into bed early to Niamh. She and Kieran had arrived relatively late in the day after all, so they were no doubt tired from their travels. Niamh gave no objections, and they soon headed off to the woman’s personal quarters.
Bethany sighed soundlessly.
She was no stranger to infatuation. Her attraction to Leliana back in Lothering was a testament to that fact. Granted, it was also somehow deeply ironic that her commanding officer was now married to the same lay sister who had since gone on to become the Left Hand of Divine Justinia.
Sometimes she couldn’t help but think the Maker enjoyed toying with her in subtle, annoying ways. In any case, like with any other infatuation, she would just have to wait for the one she had on Niamh to run its course.
It couldn’t last forever after all.
---
Spoilers: it does.
---
During one of her occasional visits, Morrigan left Kieran temporarily in the care of Niamh to follow up on a magical lead involving some of her arcane research. As they weren’t needed outside of Vigil’s Keep for anything, Bethany also got to watch over him as well, and as she did, she brought up a question that she had long been curious over.
"You said you started the ritual with Morrigan when you were already a Warden, weren't you? I thought Wardens became barren after the Joining though?"
"Hm. That's the assumption, yes," Niamh said as she idly waved a stuffed griffon over Kieran, delighting the baby instantly as they laid on the floor together. "I’d been a Warden for a little over a year at that point. Perhaps it was still soon enough that infertility hadn’t affected me yet, or the spell did something to compensate for it."
Bethany just nodded as she looked over at the two of them. "I see bits of you in him."
"Do you?"
"Yes," she admitted easily enough. "There's his sweet nature, the way he seems far too clever for his own good at times, and how his eyes light up whenever he smiles or laughs."
Niamh chuckled, flattered over the assessment. "Morrigan and I are always arguing about it. I see more of her than me in him, but then she retorts that he’s retained my love of sweets and just about every known creature in existence." Her smile widened when tiny, grasping hands finally succeeded in pulling down the stuffed griffon in her hands, and Kieran wasted little time in snuggling the toy to his chest with a pleased hum.
"Do you regret not being able to see him whenever you wish?"
"Sometimes," Niamh answered, "but Morrigan’s mother…" She trailed off with a frown even as she ran a hand affectionately through her son’s hair. "She’s powerful, and she’s hurt her before. I can understand her caution. I’m willing to go years at a time without seeing them if it means they’re safe."
---
Morrigan eventually returns, and she takes Kieran with her to hide and do magical stuff as Empress Celene’s Arcane Advisor in Orlais as per canon.
Several months pass.
Although Niamh had professed to understanding the need for her little family’s relocation, the distance means that visits from them are now few and far in between. Bethany can see how much the other woman misses them and how she worries about their safety. She often catches Niamh distractedly playing with the ring on her necklace, her thoughts clearly elsewhere.
As if anticipating that, Morrigan does send letters to Niamh every now and then, and Niamh’s entire expression lights up every time she receives them, learning how the other woman and Kieran are fairing in Orlais along with how their son continues to grow by leaps and bounds.
She cannot fault the happiness Niamh has found with Morrigan, but it also serves as a constant reminder of what life will never offer to Bethany.
Eventually, it gets to a point where Bethany grows resentful of their relationship because her own feelings for Niamh are just so strong by then. It causes her to lash out at Niamh one night in camp, angry with how calm and positive she always is despite knowing they all have a death sentence over their heads.
---
"What world do you live in that you see it through such an idyllic lens?! You can wax poetic about this life all you like! I never asked for this! I never asked for the darkspawn to steal what little I had from life only to be made the gatekeeper against the very things I despise most in this world!"
And Niamh was quiet for the longest time, having stopped mid-sentence over Bethany's sudden tirade. As the silence continued to drift over their camp, so too does a veil of sudden cold air, and Bethany realized far too late that she’d crossed a line with the other woman.
"No one does, really," Niamh admitted at last, the warmth gone from her voice. "Save for Saoirse and my brother, I lost most of my family, but the terrible thing was that it wasn’t even darkspawn that killed them or even the Blight. It was just one man’s petty greed for what he felt was owed to him. He pretended to be my family’s ally for decades, and under the cover of night, he used his men to slaughter nearly the entirety of my bloodline. My parents, my sister-in-law, my nephew… He was only eight when it happened, you see. Oren wanted to a warrior like my siblings. He was trying to defend his mother with one of those wooden swords young boys tend to play with, but against the likes of Howe’s men...”  She clenched her jaw. “They gutted him just like everyone else."
Another pause stifled the air between them even as Bethany stared at Niamh, horrified.
"Darkspawn are terrible, yes, but they’re not always as terrible as people," Niamh said, eyes narrowing as she looked into the fire. "We can be so far worse. If I'm at all patient, it's because I try to be kind in a world that offers so little of it. I want to believe it can be better than it was before. I want this to be a better place for our people, but I also want to ensure that tragedies like that never happen again. That the people caught in the middle—victims of simple circumstance—don’t have so suffer. If it means I must be a Grey Warden in addition to a mage, then I accept it. To do otherwise damns them as much as me."
With that, Niamh then gracefully rose to her feet and headed back to her own tent, leaving Bethany alone at the campfire.
The rest of their journey back to Vigil’s Keep passed without much conversation between them despite Bethany’s attempts. Niamh only said enough to give a suitable answer, but she never offered anything more beyond it. A vault door had seemed to close behind the cool grey of the eyes that had long enraptured her, offering little warmth. It was clear Bethany was no longer privy to the other woman’s innermost thoughts and feelings
Niamh wasn’t petty, however.
She still hunted when necessary so they didn’t starve, and as was long part of their agreement together, Bethany continued to cook whatever game she caught. Other than that, however, Niamh offered no friendly greetings in the morning when they woke or any words that allowed her to wander off peacefully into the Fade as she slept.
Bethany didn’t realize just how much she’d miss them.
---
When they finally return to Vigil's Keep, Saoirse is confused by how quiet and despondent her sister seems to be. Given how amiable Niamh normally is, she has a right to be concerned.
She pulls Bethany aside one night to ask what happened since they normally get along so well, but Bethany and Niamh haven't even spoken a word to one another since their return.
Bethany ruefully explains the situation, but she doesn't reveal the actual reason why she lashed out to begin with. As such, Saoirse just assumes it was just the usual stress of being a Grey Warden.
---
"Ah. It happens to the best of us, really. Here." Saoirse handed Bethany a tin box. Something Orlesian, according to the script on it. "Leliana’s currently away on business in Val Royeaux, but she sends care packages out to me whenever she can. This one's for Niamh though. It's tea," she explained with a laugh. "She loves this stuff more than anyone else I know."
Bethany still felt badly over the situation however.
“What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?”
“Oh, Niamh’s too well-mannered to outright ignore someone,” Saoirse insisted with a brief snort. “If anything, she becomes more… Well. ‘Distantly-polite’ as my wife would describe it. Besides, I have it on good authority that she never turns down a good cup of tea.” A lazy, conspiratorial grin played on her lips then. “Especially if there’s a spoonful or two of honey in it.”
That eventually culminated in Bethany making tea for Niamh that evening, who had been locked away in her office as of late. Bethany was still nervous despite receiving permission to enter the room, allowing her to face the woman who she hadn’t seen in nearly a fortnight. Concern grew within her when she saw the shadows beneath Niamh’s eyes—a familiar indication that she had been working far too hard. She watched as Niamh struggled to blink the exhaustion from her eyes as she regarded her, but she otherwise said nothing, simply waiting to hear what Bethany required of her.
“I’m sorry," Bethany said at last, contrition clear in her voice. "This isn’t the life I would have wanted for myself, but I shouldn’t have lashed out at you when you were merely trying to help.” She held out the still-steaming mug of tea in her hands—the very thing Saoirse had convinced her would make for a suitable peace offering. “Here,” she offered with a tentative smile. “If you’re going to be working through the night again, you should at least drink something.”
For a time, Bethany believed the other woman was just going to remain silent. It would have been well-deserved given how terribly she behaved the other week, but then Niamh reached out to gently take the mug from her.
"Thank you," she said at last, the ice slowly melting behind those wintry eyes, and as they did, Bethany could feel the vice around her heart gradually unhinge itself in relief.
---
Things pretty much go back to normal between them.
Niamh and Bethany are back on the road again, especially after several reports of wandering darkspawn near the outskirts of a town.
As expected, however, Bethany's longing toward Niamh is still there—constant as an evening star. Even with the taint of death coursing through them, Niamh’s aura emanates with so much life—like a forest in winter, cool and refreshing with the scent of pine buried beneath its depths, waiting to burst into spring’s lively greenery with just the barest spark of magic.
It fascinates her.
She often wonders if such single-minded focus is a side effect of the Joining other than the enhanced physical strength and the ability to sense darkspawn. She feels a hunger that is never sated, a thirst that is never parched, and also…
Amber eyes wander over to where Niamh is disrobing to bathe in the nearby river, and she catches sight of the elegant play of muscles along her back before she studiously turns her gaze away. She feels the way her face burns even as she feels something else stir in her veins.
---
While still traveling, they get attacked by some hapless bandits, and while the two women aren't hurt, they manage to lose one of their tents to a stray grenade.
They end up sleeping in the remaining tent together, but it’s small, and they huddle together inside it for warmth against the pouring rain outside.
Bethany is surprised when she unexpectedly wakes up in Niamh’s arms—one is around her waist, and the other is curled behind her shoulders—which pull her closer in sleep. Sometimes she’s amazed at just how warm the other woman is, and although she knows she should pull away to avoid any awkward conversations in the morning, she can’t bring herself to do so. This is probably as close as she’ll ever get to the intimacy she desires with Niamh, and while the moment won’t last forever, it’ll be one more memory she can cherish—something no one else can ever steal from her.
Idly, Bethany listens to the rain outside—now a gentle pattering instead of the rage of a growing storm—falling against the material of the tent, and the sound is so rhythmic that she begins to doze off again.
---
Sometime after that, they receive a letter from Stroud, who requests their assistance with a matter out in the Free Marches. Saoirse stays behind to oversee things at Vigil’s Keep, which leaves Niamh and Bethany to travel across the Waking Sea with Nathaniel as additional support.
They arrive in Kirkwall several days before the qunari invasion begins in full, but not long after they do, Nathaniel’s reconnaissance around the city reveals something terrible:
Bethany’s mother was murdered.
Bethany is understandably upset, but Niamh and Nathaniel do their best to comfort her. They end up holding a small wake in honor of Leandra.
By the time they manage to rendezvous with Stroud, the qunari invasion has already begun, and they’re caught in the middle of it, leading to the Wardens running into Emrys Hawke and her companions.
Emrys obviously wants to talk to her little sister, but Bethany is resistant to the idea since her emotions are still riding high with the news of their mother’s death and the ever-present resentment regarding how she was made into a Warden without her say so on the matter.
Niamh recognizes Bethany’s tension and politely tells Emrys to leave the matter be for the time being. There is little point in having a conversation if one half of the party isn’t ready to have it after all.
Running on adrenaline, the warrior objects and tries to push her out of the way, but Bethany retaliates immediately on Niamh’s behalf. She presses her hand against her sister's chestplate and essentially shoves her back several steps, momentarily forgetting her Warden strength. Both Hawkes seem surprised by the ease in which she can do that.
---
“Bethany?” Emrys uttered in confusion, especially as her sister outright glared at her.
"You do not accost Warden-Constable Cousland that way!"
“Wait… ‘Cousland?’” Emrys looked over to the woman in question, taking in the obvious staff situated across her back. A wolf’s head ornament adorned the top of the weapon in exquisitely-sculpted silverite, and her eyes slowly widened in realization, remembering tales of the mage who could bend the very heavens to her whims. “Wait, you’re the Storm Wolf of Ferelden? Sister to the Hero of Ferelden?”
The woman merely gave a long-suffering sigh in response. “I suppose I was being too optimistic in assuming Leliana’s tales would’ve lost their weight this far past Ferelden’s borders…”
---
Despite the chaos ravaging itself across Kirkwall, the Wardens can’t stay to help. As such, they’re not there to see the end of the invasion. It isn’t until Bethany returns to Ferelden with the others that she receives a letter from Varric, saying that Emrys nearly died in her duel against the Arishok.
While Varric takes the time to mention that Emrys is recovering, and that her bravery led to her becoming Kirkwall’s Champion, the idea that Bethany had nearly lost the very last member of her family is so shocking that she's left inconsolable one night.
---
"I was such an absolute wretch to her before we left, and she nearly died afterward!” she wept when Niamh came to check on her in her room. “She’ll never forgive me!"
The other woman’s eyes are sympathetic as she held her in her arms. "Don’t be so sure."
"How can you say that?" Bethany demanded as she looked up at her, eyes red and swollen with grief.
"I’ve seen the way you talk about her, Bethany. The memories stir up more than just hurt within you,” she explained. “They light your eyes up with joy in remembrance of them. I’m sure she misses you and wishes things had gone differently. She wouldn’t have bothered sending all these letters to you otherwise over the years.
"My siblings did the same when I was still in Kinloch Hold, where I often wondered if my family had forgotten all about me. There were times I feared my being a mage would have meant their love for me would have gone away, but it didn’t. I received letters from them all the time—sometimes over the most asinine things like Saoirse’s warhound tossing bits of her armor into the pig pen." Niamh rolled her eyes, but Bethany could see the fondness in her gaze before they refocused on her.
"Your sister has asked for nothing in return even in the times where you never sent word back. I won’t tell you how to resolve this. You were right in saying that no one truly asks for this life, but I believe she only had the best of intentions when she entrusted your safety to Stroud. Trust in that if nothing else, and if you still find the matter wanting, tell her so." Something sad and brittle lingered on the smile she shared with her. "The what-ifs hurt more than the reality of things at times. No one deserves that."
---
Niamh helps to cheer Bethany up over the course of several weeks.
They’re off in a nearby town, investigating more sightings of darkspawn, and Niamh goes downstairs to pay the innkeeper for breakfast while Bethany packs up some of her belongings to continue their journey. When she reaches for her staff, she blinks, startled to find an ice flower blossoming on the end of it. She stares in surprise at the door the other woman had left through because there’s no way someone else could have done this.
It's almost like something out of a scene from one of those romantic tales Leliana used to tell her back in Lothering. She had thought them nonsense at first—that surely no one actually did such sweet things in real life—but now…
Bethany gently brushes her fingers over the beautifully-conjured petals and leaves, feeling the cool aura radiating from them.
Now she’s not so sure.
---
During their travels, they’re ambushed by darkspawn, and in the middle of the fighting, the ground manages to crumble beneath both women’s feet. The fall is long and painful as they slide down an old mine shaft, and soon they find themselves down in the Deep Roads. Unfortunately, it's an area they haven't charted yet, so they have no idea where they even are.
They have rations from the last time Niamh hunted and smoked some game, but they know it won't last forever. They can feel the press of darkspawn everywhere against their senses, and it's difficult to get any real bearing down in the tunnels because of it. The ambushes are sporadic throughout the days as they try to find their way back to the surface. They have taken to sleeping in brief shifts so they’re not caught unaware.
One fight lags on long enough that they have to retreat, but their enemies lead them right into the lair of a broodmother.
Bethany has never seen something so hideous in all her life, but when she turns briefly to Niamh, she’s disquieted to find the other woman looks more terrified than she's ever seen her. She barely has time to think over that before the darkspawn attack them again, but now they have the broodmother and her various tentacles to dodge as well.
The fight rages on for quite awhile, long enough that Bethany voices the thought they might never see Vigil's Keep again.
---
“No.”
"Niamh—"
"No!" she repeated firmly, glaring as she lashed out with an arm, incinerating an advancing line of darkspawn to their right. "I am getting you out of here! I swear it!"
You.
Not us.
What are you planning, Niamh? Bethany couldn't help but think worriedly.
Then she felt the sudden rush of magic—causing Bethany to almost stumble in place at the overwhelming sensation—as Niamh’s aura manifested itself more tangibly in an array of colors. Blinding arcs of lightning and lines of roaring flames raced across her form, and Bethany could see her own breath forming in rapid, exhausted puffs as the temperature inside the entire cavern seemed to drop even as the stone walls rattled ominously from the breadth of absolute magic being conjured.
The power of it was soon unleashed as Niamh slammed her staff end into the ground, allowing countless rays of energy to simply explode from her body. They radiated out like spectral hands of vengeance, and the cries of the darkspawn were nearly drowned out entirely as utter destruction rained down upon them. Each blast hit like deafening peals of thunder, and the echoes of them spanned for several long heartbeats, leaving Bethany’s ears ringing even after everything eventually fell silent.
As the dust and debris finally settled from the turbulent winds, she could see the other mage leaning heavily upon her staff, utterly exhausted. Each breath she took seemed to be a laborious effort, but Bethany watched as those eyes remained keenly alert to their surroundings, waiting to see if any of the darkspawn she had laid waste to would try and attack them again. They both tensed upon hearing the low, wailing groan of pain, and they looked to the far side of the cavern to see the broodmother still alive—albeit barely.
While already repulsive, it was now a macabre mass of flesh, bleeding sluggishly from the wounds inflicted by Niamh’s attack. Bloated skin bore severe burn marks, and entire chunks of flesh were missing. One of the broodmother’s arms had been severed completely, but the heat from one of the elemental attacks had unintentionally cauterized the fat stump even if Bethany grimaced upon seeing the pink-tinged bone that still protruded from it. The broodmother’s entire form seemed to slump back with what they assumed was her final breath, but then the sudden sound of earth breaking behind them alerted them far too late to a final danger.
Bethany turned her head just in time to see a lashing tentacle sprout from the ground, and her mind barely registered the sight of it before she heard the frantic call of her name along with warm hands pressing against her side.
"Bethany!"
As if time had slowed itself, she watched in horror as Niamh pushed her out of the tentacle’s swooping path, but in doing so, the other woman took the brunt of the attack entirely. Niamh was sent flying into one of the naturally-formed pillars of the cavern, impacting it hard enough that it broke at its center, raining rubble down upon the mage resting eerily still at its base until she was buried beneath it.
Bethany’s eyes remained fixed on the sight even as she shakily rose to her hands and knees. An overwhelming sense of disbelief overtook when her longtime partner didn't emerge at all out of the stone pile. In fact, there's a terrifying lack of anything in that direction.
Nothing of the taint in Niamh's blood.
No sound.
No magic.
Just... nothing.
Distantly, she could hear the half-dying moans of the broodmother somewhere beyond her peripheral vision. Although Bethany was all too aware of how dangerous her current situation still was, all she could feel was a staggering rush of absolute rage building inside her. It seemed to grow with every beat of her heart until she could hear it pounding inside her ears—a drumming sound of accusation over the fact that she had been powerless to help someone dear to her yet again.
It was her anger that gave birth to the sudden burst of power—whether a second wind or simply a dying gasp, she didn’t immediately know—but Bethany whirled to face the grotesque beast, magic already gathering within her hands. With an infuriated cry, she pressed her palms out, and she felt the immense displacement of air around her immediately as she summoned enough force magic to take up almost the entire space of the cavern. The pressure of it proved too much against the broodmother, and Bethany watched impassively as its enormous body was flung toward the far wall with enough violence that it was reduced to a grisly splatter of darkened blood, pulverized bone, and putrid meat.
With its death, Bethany felt the presence of darkspawn waiting beyond the cavern retreat even further, as if afraid of tempting her fury. Safe from any immediate threats, however, she wasted little time in rushing over to where she last saw Niamh. She used her hands and magic to try and dig her out beneath the rubble, but when she found her, fear took hold of her immediately when she realized the other woman wasn’t breathing anymore. Desperately, Bethany tried to use her healing magic in an attempt revive her, but to her utter dismay, the chest beneath her hands remained impossibly still.
“Oh, no…” she breathed. “No. No! You can’t be dead! Niamh, get up!”
But her cry fell on deaf ears.
Despite her best efforts, no matter how much healing she tried to force through the other woman’s veins, Niamh didn’t respond. As each minute continued to pass by in silence, Bethany began to wonder what she’d have to tell Morrigan if she ever made it back to the surface, let alone the little boy with Niamh’s kind smile. It would be such a terrible thing, she knew, informing them the woman they loved died trying to save her.
Just like everyone that ever entered her life.
Leaving before she even got the chance to give her goodbyes.
Bethany withdrew her healing magic and began conjuring lightning beneath her hands instead—the same way Niamh had taught her once upon a time—desperate for anything that could attempt to shock some life back into the other woman. Niamh’s body jolted with each burst of power, head lolling about along the dirt, but she still remained impossibly beyond Bethany’s reach—perhaps now wandering past the Fade and into the Maker’s embrace.
At the thought, her anguish soon gave way to anger.
“Damn you, you selfish wretch!” she shouted as she pressed her hand over the woman’s sternum with another pulse of electricity. “I never asked you to try and save my life! You don’t get to do this to me! You don’t get to just leave me here when I never had to chance to tell you everything! Not when you don’t even know I love y—”
Just as she went to jolt the other woman again, Bethany felt a hand firmly wrapping itself around her wrist.
Shocked, she looked up toward Niamh's face, especially as she heard a very weak cough. The other mage hadn't opened her eyes yet, but she saw how the still blue-tinged lips began to move—too soft for her to hear anything. Bethany lowered her head to listen more closely and soon heard a quiet question.
"...are you alright?"
Her breath caught in her throat, and fresh tears began to fill Bethany's eyes again in spite of herself.
Even after everything they had both suffered through, Niamh's first concern had still been solely for her.
With a shaky breath, she carefully curled herself up against Niamh’s form, crying silently even as she rested her hand against the other woman's stomach to continue and apply weak, healing magic.
That was how the other Wardens found them later.
"There they are."
Bethany didn’t pick her head up off the floor, but there was little mistaking Morrigan's distinct voice. Saoirse’s own followed soon after.
"I owe you my thanks for this, Morrigan."
“Thank your sister; I would not have been able to find her were she still not wearing the ring I gave her years ago.”
A weary chuckled greeted the mage’s words. “Ever the sentimental woman, my little sister…”
The sound of heavy footsteps treading closer caused Bethany to look up, and she could see Saoirse kneeling down next to them. The warrior’s face was worn with stress, but there was nothing but relief in her eyes as she saw them both together. "It appears I owe you my thanks as well, Bethany." She jerked her head up then, shouting out an order. "Get a litter for them now!"
"But I'm not nearly as injured," Bethany protested, drawing her hand away from Niamh’s body self-consciously, especially when Morrigan appeared and began to take over healing and stabilizing the woman’s condition with fresh magic.
"No," Saoirse admitted even as her lips lifted up into a tired smile. "But you and I both know what a terrible patient my sister is. I’ll be depending on you to make sure she behaves herself if she wakes up during our trek back to Vigil’s Keep.” She gently clapped a hand over Bethany’s shoulder. “Thank you. I owe you a debt.”
“Warden-Commander—”
“No. Niamh and I have lost enough in our lives. It would have hurt me to lose her as well.”
---
Niamh remains unconscious for several days as she recovers back at Vigil's Keep.
Bethany and Morrigan basically take turns looking after her.
Despite the other woman’s position as a member of Orlais’ Imperial Court, it seemed Morrigan returned to Ferelden after receiving a frantic letter from Saoirse, saying that Niamh and Bethany had been missing for several days following a routine mission.
As mentioned in the previous section, Morrigan gave Niamh a ring, which would allow her to find her were she ever in danger. It proved especially useful when Niamh and the other Wardens were imprisoned in Fort Drakon, where Saoirse essentially put her foot in her mouth and ruined their attempt to sneak Queen Anora out of the estate she had been held captive in.
I believe the ring is only canonically available if a player is in a romance with Morrigan. However, I’m headcanoning that because she held Niamh in such high esteem, she gave it to her anyway.
Kieran is also present at Vigil’s Keep because there’s no way Morrigan was leaving him behind in Orlais. He’s about five years old at this point, and he’s grown to inherit both his mothers’ looks. A crown of dark, loose curls sits atop his head much like Niamh’s, and he even fashions a forelock like hers, which hangs in front of his right eye. His gaze is a piercing shade of gold reminiscent to Morrigan’s own. As a possessor of an Old God Soul, he’s also begun to speak cryptically at times, which is understandably jarring to those around him.
Bethany happens upon one such conversation by accident, and she immediately pauses in the doorway when she sees Morrigan and Kieran standing at Niamh’s bedside.
“Sire was caught within the paths of the Fade, Mother. She heard the voices of old ghosts calling to her, but she didn’t follow them.”
Morrigan indulgently runs a hand through her son’s hair. “Indeed; she did not.”
“She missed them though, but she still returned to us.”
“Of course. Why would she desire an eternity without you?” she asked with a fond smile, causing Kieran to giggle.
“That’s not why, Mother! Not completely.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. She would have missed the Sunshine too much. She’s been following her warmth for years. It would have hurt her to be without it.”
Kieran’s words pull at Bethany oddly, but she soon pushes them out of her mind and quietly walks away, feeling too much like an intruder upon the small family.
Thankfully, Niamh regains consciousness not long afterward, and everyone is understandably relieved by this news.
As per usual, however, Niamh proves herself to be an exceedingly stubborn patient, but perhaps wanting to set a better example for Kieran after her near-death experience, she remains in bed for the duration of her recovery. The other woman doesn’t seem to mind too much, especially given that her son continues to keep her company, telling her of the various odd things he’s seen around Orlais and the even odder people.
After several weeks under Morrigan’s watchful eye, the witch begrudgingly says that Niamh's okay to begin light duty around the Keep, relieving the other mage immensely. She goes out herb-gathering, an excuse just to get out of the fortress, and Bethany volunteers to go with her.
Things are quiet between them for a time as they begin picking up elfroot to place in the shared basket between them. Their conversations as of late haven't been of anything too substantial. A good thing, Bethany thinks, considering her feelings for her and how close she’d been to revealing them. Soon, however, they're caught in the middle of a light rain shower, and Bethany says they should head back. She begins to lead their way out of the forest when Niamh’s words stop her in her tracks.
---
"I was waiting for you to say it again, you know."
Bethany looked over her shoulder in surprise to still see Niamh standing in the middle of the clearing, her gaze expectant. “What?” she asked nervously.
"When I nearly died, I heard you say something… significant to me,” she revealed, causing Bethany’s heart to pound as she stared at her in disbelief. “However, when I recovered and you never repeated those words again, I thought it might have been little more than a fever dream of mine." Niamh's smile turned sad then when Bethany said nothing else to her words. "Perhaps it was after all... I’m sorry. I’ve made this rather awkward then, haven’t I?” She took a few steps closer, reaching toward the basket of herbs Bethany still held in her hands. “Here, let me—”
But Bethany just let it drop to the ground before she reached out to grab the collar of Niamh’s cloak. The other woman seemed taken aback, but before she can even begin voicing a question, Bethany pulled her forward to kiss her desperately in the rain, swallowing her gasp of surprise.
As far as first kisses went, it was a touch awkward as their teeth clicked together, lips mashed between them. Bethany felt a moment of panic as Niamh pulled back, but before the urge to run away in mortification could overtake her, a warm palm pressed itself against the back of her neck, keeping her in place. There was the brush of knuckles as they ran along her jaw, and Bethany was just able to catch the silver of Niamh’s eyes before all thought fled from her mind upon feeling the soft press of the other woman’s mouth on hers.
Bethany followed into the easy guidance being offered, and they both soon settled into a comfortable rhythm that sent pleasurable shivers down her spine. She felt light-headed with giddy delight, and her hands reached out to hold onto Niamh’s hips, helping to ground herself there, as their kiss continued. There was a soft sound as Niamh sighed contentedly into her mouth, as if she had been waiting just as long for this moment between them.
The thought seemed almost too impossible to comprehend, especially when she knew Niamh was committed to someone else. As such, Bethany pulled away first despite the sound of protest it caused. Despite her resolve, Bethany was reluctant to pull away from Niamh entirely, so she settled for gently leaning her forehead against the other mage as they panted quietly in the rain.
"I'm so sorry," she said breathlessly, practically speaking the words against Niamh’s lips. "It wasn't my intention to interfere with your relationship with Morrigan."
As close as they were, there was little mistaking the clear confusion in the eyes across from hers. "'With Morrigan?'" Niamh repeated. "What does she have anything to do with us?"
"But… I thought—” Her brows drew together in consternation. “Aren’t you both together?"
"What? No," Niamh answered, almost amused by the idea. "When we laid together for the ritual, it was an agreement of mutual benefit meant only for that night. She's not—Well." An exhale of breath escaped her in the form of laughter. "Morrigan's admitted she's not interested in women—or anyone, really—in quite that way, but none of the male Wardens with us at the time dared to lay with her even if it meant sparing us all from death. She trusted me, and I her. I consider Morrigan one of my dearest friends, and we share Kieran together as a result of that night, yes, but we are certainly not bound together as others seem to believe."
And Niamh’s answer suddenly changed everything.
What Bethany had been feeling, what was now possible between her and Niamh...
She couldn’t help but smile as she finally realized she could have a bit of the happiness she’d always wanted for herself.
---
So everyone knows that they’re a couple after that.
Niamh becomes more overt in the romantic things she does for her—the very same things Bethany had thought were the woman simply being thoughtful. She finds out that Niamh had apparently been interested in her for awhile and had actually been ready to confess her feelings a few years ago, but their first argument, where Bethany had accused her of being too idealistic, had stemmed the thought immediately.
Niamh had been understandably heartbroken by the words, which was why she’d had been so despondent for weeks following the incident, believing Bethany had no romantic interest in her whatsoever. The apology in her office later had restored their friendship, and while Niamh had been disappointed it likely would never evolve into anything more beyond that, she was still determined to be a good friend to her if nothing else. 
Bethany’s completely exasperated at the idea that they could have been together long before now, but she realizes it was likely better this way.
She had needed time to get over her anger and resentment regarding her life as a Warden.
She needed time to get past her guilt and the complicated thoughts regarding herself and her faith.
And she needed time to grow into herself and discover who she was as a person.
She’s grateful that Niamh’s been so kind and patient over the years, and Bethany finds great joy in the new facet of their relationship together.
They’ve kissed and been involved in heavy makeout sessions around Vigil’s Keep—much to the exasperation of their colleagues—but barring the incident that led to Kieran’s conception, Niamh’s been celibate for years, and canonical dialogue in DA2 reveals that Bethany’s pretty much a virgin. As such, she’s understandably very shy and nervous about the whole thing. However, she knew every part of her would be in good hands with Niamh when they finally reached that point.
Their first time together takes place several months after their first kiss, where Niamh tries her utmost to make it a memorable thing for them. She takes Bethany to a grove they frequent together outside of Vigil’s Keep for a midnight picnic. The moon is full, and the skies are clear, revealing an endless sea of stars. Little fireflies dance over the surface of the lake while they sit on the grass along its shore.
It’s a casual reminder that for all their hardship, life goes on and finds a way through a magic all of its own.
They stargaze for and handfeed each other little bits of food in between kisses, but soon things start getting a little more heated. Niamh gently tugs Bethany onto her lap, who follows willingly, settling her knees on either side of the woman’s hips. Bethany takes some initiative of her own, pushing at Niamh’s chest slowly until she lowers herself against the grass, and then…
---
Bethany’s breath caught in her throat upon seeing Niamh’s features haloed by the soft glow of the little fireflies. Normally pale eyes had darkened at their edges with both pleasure and interest as she regarded her, leaving Bethany flushed, especially as she realized she doesn’t quite know what to do from there on out.
Perhaps having sensed that, Niamh reached up to gently run a thumb along the corner of her mouth, and Bethany barely resisted the urge to press her lips against the pad in a kiss as slim fingers then went to cup her cheek gently.
“We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready,” Niamh reassured as she brushed a few strands of Bethany’s hair behind an ear. “I quite like kissing you.”
But Bethany did want to.
She knew Niamh had more experience with sexual intimacy, and she worried she couldn’t be able to compare against the woman’s past paramours. There was no expectation in those starlit eyes however. Niamh was as relaxed as she had been when they first started, and Bethany knew she would have been more than content to lay with her beneath the stars if that was all she desired. She was always considerate with her feelings, never pressing her to do more than she was ready.
Thus, Bethany knew Niamh would be patient with her during their first time together.
“If I asked, would you show me what to do?” she whispered tentatively, and she watched as the corners of those lips turned up into soft smile.
“Always,” Niamh answered, gently tugging Bethany’s hand toward the buckle holding the front of her leather and steel-riveted brigandine closed. “Here. Help me out of this first please.” 
From there, Bethany quickly realized it all wasn’t quite as simple as the tawdry novels Isabela used to loan her made it out to be. Nothing really prepared for the warmth of the flesh beneath her fingertips as she gradually disrobed her lover of the layers that made up their Warden regalia. Fortune favored the bold, she knew, and she experimented by pressing kisses against skin as more was revealed to her. She smiled against Niamh’s sternum—pleased—when she heard the exceedingly rare quiver in her voice.
As promised, however, the other woman continued to give suggestions on what types of touches would best give pleasure, but she also allowed Bethany to set the pace of whatever she felt most comfortable with. With each encouraging whisper against her ear, each caress and rock of her hand became more confident. When Niamh shuddered beneath her for the first time—the barest hint of magic curling against her own—as she reached her peak, Bethany was convinced that she had never felt more triumphant.
And she didn’t think she had ever felt so unfettered when Niamh later returned the favor by kissing a line of fire down her bare body. Those mist-grey eyes never left her own gaze though. Bethany had long known how attentive the other mage could be. As their lead tactician, there was always a studious quality in how she approached anything set before her.
Feeling the full magnitude of that attention focused solely upon her, however, was another matter entirely. Niamh stared at her as if she had hung the very moon and the infinite tapestry of stars into the night sky. It was like she was her very reason for drawing breath, and the thought of that brought forth a stunning wash of emotions over her as she saw the clear reverence in those eyes—so much so that she couldn’t help the tears beading themselves across her lashes nor her soft, surprised exhale of laughter when Niamh leaned up to gently kiss them away.
It was only when she assured her lover that she was ready to continue that Niamh returned to her exploration. The woman was committed to learning every part of her, gauging every physical response—the touches that made her moan breathlessly or sigh in contentment with the press of lips against her skin—before reacting accordingly. She felt that dedication most vividly as a warm mouth settled between her thighs and began working itself thoroughly there.
Bethany couldn’t help but break eye contact with Niamh as she threw her head back against the cool grass, lost to the new but pleasant sensations coursing their way through her body. Her hips seemed to move of their own volition, especially as the almost overwhelming heat of a tongue pressed itself flat and lapped languidly at her.
After a time, it felt like she was freefalling, and she blindly reached out toward Niamh. One hand sank itself easily into the tousled waves of raven-black hair, but with the other, Bethany found slim fingers gently intertwining themselves with her own. There was strength and reassurance within the warmth of that grasp—a steady tether to ground her—even as Niamh continued with her ministrations, quickly unraveling the foundations of her world.
Were you the answer this entire time?
Were you the one whom my heart was always waiting for?
Bethany found her answer just as her climax crested over her.
---
The next scene takes place several months after Niamh’s and Bethany’s first time together but just before the Kirkwall Rebellion.
Niamh heads over to Amaranthine to see her aunt, Eithne Mac Eanraig, since she's the Arlessa there.
Now, here’s where I’m veering off from canon.
Per the events of Awakening, the Warden ends up becoming the Warden-Commander, and for their services during the Fifth Blight, Vigil’s Keep along with the entire arling of Amaranthine was given to the Grey Wardens. The fortress and the territory originally belonged to the Howes, but after Rendon Howe’s betrayal, all titles and properties were stripped away from them. As such, the Warden-Commander would also become the Arl or Arlessa of Amaranthine.
Per my headcanon though, Saoirse felt that she couldn’t tend to both her duties as a Warden while also ruling over the arling. Thus, she suggests to King Alistair to let her aunt oversee it instead.
While Eithne is technically my own creation, it was canonical that Eleanor had three siblings prior to marrying Bryce Cousland. All the children of Bann Fearcher Mac Eanraig—also known as the Storm Giant—were exceedingly skilled raiders although Eleanor was the most infamous of them. Still, I headcanon that Eithne’s own prowess allowed her to take over as head of the family and their impressive fleet after her father’s death sometime before the events of DAO.
I also headcanon that the Mac Eanraigs and their fleet proved instrumental during the Fifth Blight, allowing desperately-needed supplies to travel to the country without fear of them being intercepted by pirates. When the reconstruction of Ferelden began in full following the defeat of the Archdemon, Eithne opted to expand the services of her family’s fleet, offering to escort any incoming and also outgoing cargo ships. This allowed trade to flourish in Ferelden since the threat of piracy was reduced greatly against the might of the former raiding family and their respective crews. With goods being consistently transported and received, it led to the otherwise pricey import and export tariffs being lowered significantly.
It expanded the influence of the Mac Eanraigs considerably to say the least, and while they were of minor nobility compared to the Couslands, the family was already well-respected for their long connection to the Storm Coast and their role in the Fereldan Rebellion as well as the Fifth Blight.
As such, no objection was given by Ferelden’s Bannorn when the Mac Eanraigs were consequently raised further in nobility by the decree of King Alistair and Queen Anora, allowing Eithne to officially be named Arlessa to the city of Amaranthine.
---
"Aunt Eithne," Niamh began, walking into her office, "may I have access to the castle's forge?"
The older woman was sat behind her desk, looking through various reports when she glanced up at her. Kind, weathered features warmed instantly. "Ah, there's my wee Storm Pup," she said as she rose to her feet to meet her. "You know you’re welcome to anything within the castle, lass. I take it that blacksmith of yours is being stubborn at Vigil’s Keep again?"
As per usual, Niamh found herself looking up at her aunt as she rounded the edge of her desk. While her late mother Eleanor had been roughly her own size, the Mac Eanraigs as a whole towered over most people with their intimidating height and broad-shouldered frames—traits that Fergus and also Saoirse inherited as they grew into adulthood. In her youth, Niamh remembered that her Aunt Eithne had also possessed her mother’s pale blonde hair, but it had since turned silver with age and was now kept in a neat braid that dangled in front of her right shoulder. She imagined that Saoirse would likely resemble their aunt greatly in looks over the next few decades.
…provided they find a cure against the Calling first, of course.
Morrigan’s arcane research had turned up several possibilities, but the latest one she’d found seemed especially promising. Still, Niamh put the thought from her mind momentarily to answer her aunt’s question.
"You and I both know Master Wade won’t allow anyone to go near his forge. He’d pout for weeks on end before we could convince him to resume work again,” she said dryly before shrugging. “Just as well, I suppose. He can’t keep a secret to save his life. What I have in mind is more of a personal project."
Dark grey eyes blinked. "Oh?" she intoned curiously.
"It's... Well." Niamh shifted from foot to foot, a tad nervous to put her thoughts into words. "I'm making matching torcs for Bethany and I, so—oof!"
No sooner after she had stated her purpose did Niamh unexpectedly found herself drawn up into a crushing hug by her aunt, who lifted her clear off her feet with the force of it.
"Haha!" Eithne crowed with delighted laughter as she twirled her about. "Wait until I tell your uncles about this! Why, it’s been ages since we’ve had a wedding in the family!"
"We had one a year ago for Fergus and Olithia," Niamh corrected hoarsely as she tried to wriggle out of her aunt's grip to little avail. Corded muscles built over a lifetime at sea ensured the woman’s strength was nigh unbreakable. "And there was another for Saoirse and Leliana before that."
"Details, wee niece, details," she brushed aside when she placed Niamh back on her feet again, placing large hands over each of her shoulders with a grin. "Honestly, I was half-convinced my ashes would be scattered across the sea before I saw my last niece be married off! Dermot!" she called out loudly beyond the walls of office to her second-in-command, leaving Niamh wincing from the sheer volume of it. "Break out the casks! We’re celebrating tonight!"
Niamh merely sighed, somehow glad that Bethany was currently away from Vigil’s Keep with Nathaniel to tend to a matter out in another seaside province. There was no way she’d be able to surprise her with a proposal otherwise.
---
Bethany didn't know what to really expect when Niamh took her out to their favored grove, but then she was offered a… necklace of some sort. It was thick and sturdy but exquisitely-crafted. It formed an incomplete circle, but there was no clasp holding both ends together. As she took the necklace into her own hands, she found there was a certain pliability to it as she stretched the space between the twin, silverite wolf heads open a bit more.
"I spent weeks getting the details just right," Niamh admitted. "The hardest part was finding the perfect bits of citrine to match your eyes," she added, pointing to the small, gemstone orbs held in the maw of each wolf.
"You made this for me?" Bethany asked, awed.
"Yes. It’s a custom from the maternal side of my family. They’re generally gifted to those of status or individuals who have achieved great deeds. The more bands woven together designate one's importance." Niamh's expression turned somewhat sheepish then. "I don't think it needs to be said that I think highly of you."
Bethany looked at the thick braiding and saw that there were at least five bands wound together in a cord and then welded together.
"I..." Niamh wet her lips briefly, as if caught beneath sudden nervousness. "I realize marriage is usually just a matter of settling titles and heirs, but I believe you know by now that my family tends to eschew commonly-held norms. As such, I would consider it a great honor if you were to become my wife. As for anything official—a wedding for instance—we needn't concern ourselves with it right away. Not if you don't wish to certainly." Silver-colored eyes rolled themselves. "Honestly, my family uses any type of excuse available to throw a celebration. They’ll likely still drink the night away, knowing that I’ve finally settled down with someone."
Bethany couldn’t help but laugh at that. "They were that invested, were they?"
"Before you, they had a tendency to think I was more married to my duty within the Order, and I can’t say that were not wrong in thinking so."
"And that’s changed?"
"Well... I was managing day by day as well as any of our comrades, but I won’t lie in saying that there came a point when you were all I could ever think about in the many moments in between."
It was… quite the confession.
In an instant, all the stories her mother had ever told her of romance paled in comparison to this moment.
"Yes," Bethany said at last, watching as the ghostly-grey eyes across from her widened, but there was little hiding the hope building within their depths.
"Yes?"
"Yes to the—" She stumbled a bit over the word. "—torcs, you said?” Bethany asked in clarification, earning her a nod along with a very relieved sigh. “I don’t want a ceremony.” She bit her lip as she stared down at the thickly-braided necklace. “At least not just yet, but I like the idea of the promise these contain.”
“You would like to have your sister here when the time comes,” Niamh deduced understandingly. “Very well.”
“You can wait?”
A very warm smile burnished beautiful features that she had long fallen in love with so many years ago. “A Chuisle Mo Chroí,” she began, voicing an endearment that never ceased to make her heart flutter, “for you, I would gladly wait a thousand Ages and more.” (Writer’s note: A Chuisle Mo Chroí is phonetically pronounced Ah Khush-lah Muh Kree and means “Pulse of My Heart.”)
The words earned her a heartfelt kiss of gratitude. If Niamh noticed Bethany was trembling, she said nothing of it. In fact, they both had little to say at all as they slowly lowered themselves to the grass and surrendered themselves to the night and the promise of everyday thereafter.
---
The Kirkwall Rebellion still happens in this verse, and because Saoirse's busy butting heads with the higher-ups at Weisshaupt, she sends word to Niamh, asking her to go to Kirkwall to provide Leliana backup if things get bad. Bethany is concerned as well about the well-being of her sister Emrys, and she asks to go with her. Niamh, of course, can't really deny her anything, so they both take the fastest ship across the Waking Sea.
---
"There you are," Bethany declared when she managed to come across her sister and her companions despite the chaos around them. She settled her staff over her back, walking through the tangle of defeated Templars around her to meet them. "We’ve been looking everywhere for you. I'd almost feared you were dead."
Emrys hadn’t expected Bethany’s presence in the city, but she’s beyond elated to see her. At her words, the warrior merely preened. "As if they'd be able to best me. And, uh, what’s this about 'we?'" Emrys asked, confused. “Did you bring the other Wardens with you?”
“Just one.”
As if attuned to her thoughts, Niamh made her entrance then by Fadestepping through a handful of Templars—who had arrived on scene as backup—freezing them in their tracks. She and Bethany had momentarily split up to try and cover more ground in search of Emrys.
Bethany arched a brow at her sister while gesturing toward her lover with an emphatic wave. "You remember Warden-Constable Cousland, don’t you?"
Emrys had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed as she recalled their last meeting, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly as she regarded Niamh. "Oh. Yes. Uh, about the last time we met—"
But Niamh seemed amused more than anything, waving aside the apology graciously. “Bygones, Champion. No need to worry yourself about the past. My sister’s a warrior as well; I’ve fared worse on the rare occasion."
"In any case, Sister, if you need help, we’ll gladly give it."
“Really?”
“Yes. I…” Bethany swept a bit of hair behind her ear nervously, but as Niamh settled alongside her, offering her wordless support, she continued on. “I wanted to apologize for what happened down in the Deep Roads and for how we parted the last time I was here. You saved my life, but I couldn’t see past my own anger back then. I’m sorry,” she whispered, contrite. “I should have said it long before now. You’re all I have left of our family, so if you need help against the Templars, say the word.”
Emrys looked beyond thrilled at the prospect of having her at her side again. “I’m certainly not going to turn away help now of all times, but…” She shot a look of confusion over toward Niamh. “I thought Wardens weren’t to involve themselves in political matters?"
The other mage merely sighed. “While true, that follows a line of policy that my sister and I strenuously object to, especially given the matter involved here. She and I will deal with the leadership at Weisshaupt later if need be." Slim shoulder shrugged themselves then. "Of course, even if my sister-in-law weren't nearby, Bethany wanted to help, and that was good enough reason for me to be here."
Emrys’ dark brows rose at the claim, and she immediately turned a searching gaze over toward Bethany, who couldn’t help but turn her own away, flushing somewhat.
"Yes… Niamh and I are a bit of a package deal these days."
Unfortunately, the minor shift in movement allowed for something else to be revealed, and Isabela took notice of it immediately as her eyes darted toward the area of her neck just beneath the collar of her uniform.
“Wait… is that a torc?" she asked, brows raising, impressed.
“A what?" Emrys asked, flustered, especially when she saw the matching one that Niamh was also wearing.
“It's a little bit of tradition from my mother’s side of the family,” Niamh explained. “They’re beautifully-crafted pieces of jewelry, but they can be as symbolic as rings, especially in the ceremonial sense."
"'Rings?'" Emrys parroted with a choke. “‘Ceremon—’” The warrior paled instantly as she realized the implication, shakily pressing her hand against a nearby wall to steady herself when she began swaying in place. “Oh, Maker’s breath… I think—I need a moment,” she murmured, and Bethany watched—concerned—when Emrys practically folded in over herself, working to catch a breath. After a time, Emrys’ comically-wide blue eyes turned over to Niamh. “You’re married to my baby sister?"
"Engaged, technically," Niamh answered, blinking owlishly at her reaction. “I proposed to her before we left Ferelden."
---
Annnnd then Saoirse shows up because she got worried about Leliana, and she and Emrys get along like peas in a pod. They’re exceedingly competitive with one another though...
---
“Hah!” Saoirse crowed, grinning smugly at Emrys as she rested the flat of her greatsword along her shoulder. “Is that the best Kirkwall’s Champion can do? I managed to neatly cleave my opponent in half.”
Emrys merely scowled, matching pace with Saoirse as they marched toward The Gallows. “Only because I helped! Besides, that strike wouldn’t have held against him if he had a shield as well!”
“Yes, it would have!”
“Lies!” Emrys scoffed. “It would have been caught halfway through the shield before you would have been able to reach his armor!“
“Not with the proper leverage it wouldn’t have!”
As they argued heatedly about sword techniques, Niamh and Bethany shared a long-suffering glance with one another before moving on ahead of their respective sisters.
“Warriors…”
“Indeed.”
---
Eventually, this all culminates in that huge battle at the end of DA2, where Meredith is defeated. As per canon, it becomes clear that it’s no longer safe for Emrys and her companions to remain within the city without eventually facing possible repercussions from the Chantry. As such, they begin scattering to the winds not long after the end of the rebellion.
---
"You could come with us, you know," Emrys suggested.
Bethany looked over to where her sister stood next to Isabela, ready to board the ship that would take them to Antiva. Emrys’ expression was almost painfully hopeful, but Bethany knew it wasn't meant to be. Although she had resented it once upon a time, she had a duty to the Wardens, and she would not easily abandon it. She said as much to her sister.
"No. Niamh currently seeks a cure that affects the lives of every Warden."
"A cure for the Calling?” she asked, surprised. “Is that even possible?"
"Perhaps. Perhaps not. She is easily the cleverest person I’ve ever met though. If there is a solution, she will be the most likely one to find it, and I will not stand to be apart from her."
"I see.” Emrys rubbed the back of her neck, shoulders slumping somewhat. “So… this is goodbye again."
It was admittedly a bittersweet feeling, knowing that this had been the first time in years they had seen one another and it would likely be several more yet before they would meet again.
"For now,” she answered quietly. “You have your life, Sister, and now…" She glanced over at Niamh, who was talking to the captain of a ship heading back to lands far to the west—ones that had never been touched by the Blight, according to Morrigan. “I have mine.”
Emrys followed her gaze. “You seem happier."
"I am."
“That’s all I ever wanted for you, you know? Just to know that you were happy.”
“I know that now." Her smile turned more genuine as she stepped forward to wrap her arms around Emrys, hugging her for all she was worth. "I wish the same upon you always. Safe travels to you and Isabela, Sister."
---
And as mentioned in the bullet points up above, they spend several years traveling abroad. Some days are harder than others as they meet their fair share of challenges, but Niamh and Bethany support each endlessly through it all.
They both return to Ferelden several years after the Trepasser DLC when they’ve found a cure for the Calling. With the taint purged from their bodies, they’re guaranteed the long life that would have otherwise been denied to them. As such, Niamh and Bethany finally get married—torcs gleaming bright—as Leliana as Divine Victoria officiates the wedding.
---
And that’s pretty much it.
I have about 20 pages of random scenes I’ve yet to elaborate on for this AU, including one for the huge battle at the end of DA2, so while I don’t see it as being nearly as long as OtSttCA, it’ll likely make for quite the lengthy read when I finally get a chance to work on it properly.
Still, if this verse interests you, leave me a like, a comment, or just swing by my inbox to tell me your thoughts! Until next time, readers! Take care!
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terramythos · 3 years
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TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 21 of 26
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Title: The Galaxy, and the Ground Within (Wayfarers #4) (2021)
Author: Becky Chambers
Genre/Tags: Science Fiction, Third-Person, Female Protagonists
Rating: 9/10
Date Began: 8/15/2021
Date Finished: 8/22/2021
Gora is an unremarkable planet. It has no natural life and few resources to speak of. In fact, its only use is its proximity to more interesting places. Over the years, it’s become a waystation, notable only as a temporary stop for travelers as they wait for their spot in the wormhole queue. 
The Five-Hop One-Stop is a small, family-owned rest stop on Gora. Three travelers— a marginalized nomad, a military contractor, and an exiled artist-- lay over at the Five-Hop awaiting the next stage of their journeys. But everything goes horribly wrong when repair work on an orbital satellite causes a cascade event, destroying the planet’s communications. Now stranded on Gora with debris raining down from the sky, the travelers and hosts must live with each other while cut off from the rest of the galaxy. As they learn more about one another, each is forced to confront their personal struggles… and challenge their perspective on life.
Speaker had a word for how she felt right then: errekere. A moment of vulnerable understanding between strangers. It did not translate into Klip, but it was a feeling she knew well from gatherings among her people. There was no need being expressed here, no barter or haggling or problems that required the assistance of a Speaker, but errekere was what she felt all the same. She’d never felt it with an alien before. She embraced the new experience.
Content warnings and spoilers below the cut.  
Content warnings for the book: Non-graphic sexual content, child endangerment, ableism (if you squint; it’s not malicious), references to warfare, discussions of intergenerational trauma re: colonization (not the scifi kind), prejudice and xenophobia, recreational drug use. 
I’ve had a mixed experience with Wayfarers, which is unusual for me. I can’t remember the last series I read that fluctuated so much in terms of personal enjoyment and (in my opinion) quality. People as a whole seem to enjoy this series more than me, hence the multitude of awards and glowing reviews. I liked book two, A Closed and Common Orbit, because of the focused narrative and dedicated development of two lead characters. But the first and third books suffered from an overly large cast and reliance on generic archetypes. When a series is built on character development and plot is a secondary concern at best, those characters have to be outstanding. And to me, they usually weren’t.
But in this fourth and final book, I felt that Chambers finally hit her stride. On a surface level, The Galaxy, and the Ground Within has striking similarity to book three, Record of a Spaceborn Few. Both are virtually plotless novels which do deep dives into a cast of characters. What sets The Galaxy apart is its execution. All three leads have unique and compelling personal conflicts. An underutilized strength of the series is its creative aliens; something Chambers takes advantage of here with a fully alien cast. Finally, this book hinges upon interaction between the three leads, something sorely missing from the previous book. 
In these reviews I often seem critical of ensemble casts. But when done well, I actually prefer them to singular narratives. The main hurdle is having consistently interesting characters across the board. When there’s one or two characters I prefer over the others, I usually struggle with the novel. There’s an inherent sense of disappointment when leaving a favored character’s POV. For me this affects my overall enjoyment of the story. But when I like all of the characters or they all have something interesting going on, ensemble casts are great. The Galaxy, and the Ground Within is successful in this regard because I thoroughly enjoyed all three perspective characters. In no particular order…
Speaker is an Akarak, a birdlike scavenger species introduced as sympathetic antagonists in the first book. Going in, we know their home planet was colonized by the Harmagians, which has caused irreparable harm to their culture. Robbed of their homeworld and forced into the margins of GC society, the Akarak are nomadic, and many of them rely on banditry in order to survive. We have seen very little of them besides that. The Galaxy expands their lore a lot; their short lifespans, their incompatible biology with other sapients, and the resulting generational trauma from centuries of colonial exploitation. Speaker’s arc in particular is about dealing with the prejudice she encounters daily, adjusting to acceptance after being othered for so long, seeing things from a new perspective, and persistent worry for her twin sister Tracker, who she’s been separated from due to the events on Gora. 
The Aeluon Pei is actually a recurring character; she’s Ashby’s love interest from the first book. Here we get a more intimate view of her as a person. In particular, she struggles with living a double life. She works a prestigious yet dangerous job among her people, running cargo into critical warzones. But her affair with Ashby (a Human) is a huge cultural taboo among the Aeluons. If her colleagues discovered her romantic relationship, her life as a cargo runner would be over. The double life is wearing on her, because she loves both aspects of her life, but knows that it can’t go on like this forever. To make matters worse, she goes into “shimmer”, a once-in-a-lifetime fertility period, during the events on Gora. This adds a layer to her struggle; does she do her duty to her species and produce a child, or does she pursue what she really wants? 
Finally, there’s Roveg, a Quelin. Like the Akarak, Quelin haven’t received a whole lot of development in the series. In the first book, they’re portrayed as a xenophobic insectoid race, and their role is unambiguously antagonistic. Roveg is the polar opposite of that. He’s something of a renaissance man; an appreciator of fine art and dining, who designs artistic sims by profession. He delights in meeting aliens, befriending them, and learning everything there is to know about them. His arc centers around his exile from Quelin society and all the hidden pains associated with that. Chief among these is a mysterious meeting he has to make— which the Gora disaster obviously complicates. 
Complementing the three leads are the Five-Hop’s hosts; a Laru mother and child named Ouloo and Tupo. Similar to the Akarak and Quelin, we haven’t seen many of the Laru (who I always picture as fuzzy dog-giraffe hybrids). Ouloo struggles to be a kind and accommodating host in the wake of disaster. She’s also forced to confront her own prejudices, especially regarding Speaker, the first Akarak she’s ever met. The two initially have a lot of tension, but grow to be great friends over the course of the novel. Her child Tupo is a nonbinary character using xe/xyr pronouns throughout the novel. Xe’s basically a Laru teenager, and super endearing. I love xyr natural curiosity and naiveté. Definitely the “heart” of the group. 
Interaction between these characters is the bread and butter of this novel. There’s very little action; instead it focuses on their differing perspectives and life experiences. It’s a gradual build as the characters grow more familiar with one another. The epilogue is brilliant, because we see the long-term effect of these characters meeting. Despite interpersonal conflict in the story, Speaker inspires Pei to make a specific decision. From this decision, Pei realizes she can help Roveg with his meeting. As a result of this, Roveg is inspired to help Speaker based on one of their earlier conversations. His help fundamentally alters Speaker’s perspective on life— and there’s an implication it will reach beyond that, to the Akarak as a whole. It’s a cascade effect, but rather than the disastrous version that happened on Gora, it’s a positive social change for the leads. That’s the kind of literary parallel that really fires me up. 
I do have a few criticisms of this novel, minor and otherwise. The first is, I wish the tension between Speaker and Pei was more strongly built throughout. While I’m glad the novel isn’t all sunshine and rainbows when it comes to the character interactions, their conflict goes from an idea in the back of one’s mind to an explosive event. This is something of a nitpick because it’s otherwise well executed. I especially like that despite their interpersonal problems, they work together in the climactic events of the novel without sacrificing their respective principles. 
My other criticism is a series-wide observation. Wayfarers is optimistic to a fault. As such, it’s pretty rare that we see true evil or even bad behavior in this series. On one hand, it’s nice to read something where the characters are people who want the best for everyone. But there’s a lot of dissonance here, because there are MASSIVE social problems with the GC at large. For example, we see the effects of xenophobia, war, slavery, and colonialism, but the ones who perpetuate these issues are faceless. If Chambers wants to portray good characters, that’s fine, but it strikes me as odd to build complex social issues into your society, yet exclusively portray groups of morally good people. Why would a society full of such nice, helpful groups also marginalize the Akarak, or create an entire caste of slave clones to sort through their junk? This approach comes off as a desire for nuance without committing to it. 
This trend continues through the final book. The Galaxy, and the Ground Within is clearly a COVID-19 response novel (“we’re all in this together”!)— but everyone is blameless, and the government response is reasonable and timely. That’s just not how it worked in real life. So many people were (and still are!) selfish in response to COVID, often outright endangering others. Practically every government botched their response for the sake of money, leading to mass death worldwide. If Wayfarers has similar social issues to the real world, why would the response to a disaster be any different? It’s an ongoing contradiction; the Wayfarers society is simultaneously utopian and flawed, and it’s hard for me to suspend my disbelief. 
As an individual novel, though, I really enjoyed The Galaxy, and the Ground Within. Like all the other books in the Wayfarers series, it’s a standalone and can be read on its own. My experience with this series has been up and down; I recommend the second and fourth books, but I’d skip one and three if I ever do a reread. There are things to like about Wayfarers in terms of worldbuilding and the creative ideas behind all the different aliens. Characterization is hit or miss, but the hits are great, and this book in particular knocked it out of the park. Chambers’ prose improves a lot over the series, and it’s nice to see how she develops as a writer. As I’ve mentioned, Wayfarers has gotten lots of positive feedback, so it’s possible you will enjoy it more than I did. But I’m looking forward to reading something new.
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dailytomlinson · 4 years
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When reflecting on music’s most influential artists, critics tend to use statistics to measure their legacy—whether it’s a band reaching #1 on the charts, multiple sold-out tours, or albums that represent a generation. Those types of accolades and praise are for bands that, typically, exist within rock with a predominantly sizeable male fanbase, like The Rolling Stones or The Beatles. For English-Irish boyband One Direction, who actually broke one of The Beatles biggest achievements by having five Top 10 debut tracks on the Hot 100 compared to The Beatles’ four, have sold out multiple tours and delivered five albums five years in a row, they have not been regarded as much of an influential force in the music industry as they should be.
Today—on July 23rd 2020—the band celebrates ten years since they first became a band, even if five years of that time was during a prolonged indefinite hiatus while each of the members pursued solo ventures. A decade marks ten years of One Direction and, for the fans, ten years of an impactful legacy the band, both together and apart, has had on their lives.
After being thrown together on The X-Factor back in July 2010, the band did more in five years than most bands do in their entire careers; they released five albums and sold more than 6.49 million copies in just America alone, filmed one concert documentary and one tour film, completed multiple world tours, and pursued philanthropic ventures. All of those things didn’t come without a price, though. Zayn Malik left the band in 2014 due to his mental health suffering. The band toured consistently every year with hardly ever having any personal time off, and add in an album release a year, they were extremely overworked.
There’s a belief boy bands have an expiry date, and it’s likely their management felt they needed to get as much out of the band while they believed they were still relevant. It’s likely that fans would’ve stuck around if the members took time between their albums and tours. In 2015, when the hiatus began, people wondered if One Direction really could ever come back and, if they did, would fans still really care about them?
“One Direction was one of the biggest and most successful bands,” said @TheHarryNews, a Twitter fan update account. “They achieved amazing things in the five years they were together, despite being overworked by putting out albums and touring every year, which isn’t normal.”
One specific thread that ties together every fans’ thoughts when they reflect on why they decided to become fans of the boys in the first place is the carefree and loving rapport the band has with one another. We’ve all seen The X Factor video diaries, laughed over their banter during interviews, and watched every live performance they did to look out for cute interactions between our favourite members. In their own unique way, One Direction helped defy traits typically associated with toxic masculinity; they didn’t shy away from their affection for one another and made that known in interviews and concerts. Their friendship set them apart, made them more real, and through them, we made friendships of our own.
When someone seeks out new friends, they go to where they feel safest: the communities of people who love the same things as they do. Social media not only propelled the band to international audiences, but it also helped many fans meet the people they now call their lifelong friends. “They have impacted my life in ways I never thought a ‘boyband’ could,” said Lauren, a fan from Buffalo, NY. “They gave me the best friends I could ever ask for, helped me when I was lost and thought I had no one. They ultimately helped me find myself.”
Social media did more than just help us make friends. It was also a major catalyst for the band’s success, and a large part is due to update accounts on Twitter that were created by fans, for fans. Fan-created update accounts would document every single movement and moment made by the band’s five members, whether it was live-streaming a concert or updating fans on the band’s whereabouts. For @With1DNews, a UK/Canada-based update account, it’s a labour of true love for the band that “glued them together” in the first place. “We found each other through our 1D fan accounts on Twitter,” they said. “We started talking about the boys, then our lives, and quickly became great friends.”
Even though they started the account after the hiatus already began, they still felt like fans needed One Direction news. “We had noticed there weren’t really any active 1D update accounts left and we knew a lot of fellow 1D fans were still interested in seeing news about the boys’ careers and lives. It was also because we missed seeing 1D together and hearing about them together. We thought, why not create this space that connects them even if they’re now all going their own way.”
Update accounts take as much time, effort, and energy as an unpaid second job; it requires those who run them to schedule themselves accordingly to cover certain times of each day to ensure their fellow fans get updated in a timely manner, and they do as much fact-checking and researching that any other traditional news outlet does.
Even if some critics might not consider One Direction an influential force in the music industry, the impact they continue to have on their fans is what has set them apart from every other musical act. In a scene in One Direction’s concert documentary, This Is Us, a fan breathlessly states “I know they love me, even if they don’t know me.” This type of parasocial relationship to a band is something not many understand; it’s a sense of intimacy that doesn’t require either party to actually deeply know one another on a personal level but is still as meaningful and significant as actual relationships.
A connection with the band is even more prevalent for Amy, a Los Angeles based writer and mum of two, because of the impact the band has had on her family is something that isn’t tangible but has been detrimental to her children’s development. “I have a child with physical and neurological disabilities who, prior to One Direction, was completely non-verbal and really struggling to find motivation and happiness amongst all the doctors and therapy appointments,” stated Amy. “They have done more for her development, including indirectly teaching her to speak and sing, than any therapy she’s ever done. Up until we found the boys, everything was trial and error; trying to find what makes sense to her and would, in turn, make the world make sense to her. Who knew the key would be a ‘silly’ boy band?”
Many fans have expressed that the band is their happy place – the only positive light in their life when things got tough. For so many, the band came at a time when they desperately needed something to help them through difficult situations whether that be pressure from school, jobs, peers, or life in general. Watching the ‘Best Song Ever’ music video, or a funny interview felt like a cure to smile and laugh after a long day. “They were what we turned to when we felt overwhelmed in our own lives. Now, we’re adults, and they still bring us as much happiness as they did when we were younger,” says @With1DNews.
Not only that, but the band has also helped fans gain more confidence in themselves. By helping create a space and community for them, fans who may have felt lonely, different, or struggled to find a place they belonged had somewhere to go now. They made friends who accepted them, endless content that felt like a burst of serotonin, and a band of boys who told them through lyrics how great and valuable they are, songs like ‘Through the Dark’, ‘Diana’, and ‘Little Things’. Through the band, One Direction fans created their own safe space to work out and navigate their own identity; a space that is free from outside shame where they could be whoever they wanted to be because the people they loved the most accepted them for exactly who they are.
Despite the safety found in those spaces, others have given those fans different descriptions: Hysterical. Rabid. Extra. ‘Screamers.’ Those are just a few of the many words that have been used to describe female fans of boy bands, both past and present. Although these words carry negative connotations, they imply something more powerful than any naysayer could understand or try to define: the sheer force that comes with unashamedly loving something so deeply, you don’t really care about anyone else’s opinions.
Young female fans are the most supportive, passionate fanbase an artist can have, yet they are the most trivialized and ridiculed both within and outside of the music industry. At the start of their career, music’s most beloved band The Beatles was a boy band that catapulted into fame because of, not despite, their female fans. It wasn’t until male fans noticed the band’s progression into an experimental sound when they decided to embrace the band and deem them worthy of their support after they began playing ‘real’ music.
Even if there are major similarities between The Beatles and One Direction, the latter is still regarded by many to be a manufactured pop boy band with a ‘teenybopper’ fanbase. The members of the band have consistently embraced and validated their predominantly female fanbase; Harry Styles has been consistently vocal about this matter, going so far as to say “Teenage-girl fans — they don’t lie. If they like you, they’re there. They don’t act ‘too cool.’ They like you, and they tell you.”
In ‘Girl Almighty’, the fifth track on their fourth album, Four, the band addressed the way their fans have been misjudged and labelled ‘crazy’ because of their passion and not only applauded them for their dedication and love, but bowed down to them as well; “Let’s have another toast to the girl almighty […] I get down on my knees for you.” Not only has One Direction always known who helped them get to where they are today, but they’ve also never shied away from declaring their respect for them, constantly validating their fans’ feelings.
For One Direction’s fans, a decade of the band’s formation represents ten years of a legacy that will continue on, even if the band never formally get back together. For Amy, it doesn’t really matter if they got their start on a TV talent show because it’s the fans that made them and set the band apart from every other boyband. “What we all created together feels so untouchable in regards to boy bands of the past and ones to come. I think people will look back in awe and see what we see; we’ve been so incredibly lucky to have witnessed the magic of One Direction.”
They might not be aware of it, but One Direction was incredible at predicting what was to come in their own music; “Who’s gonna be the first to say goodbye?” / “But it’s not the end, I’ll see your face again” / “We had some good times, didn’t we? We wore our hearts out on our sleeve” / “We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen.” In ‘Best Song Ever’, a song that ordinary listeners would not exactly consider overly sentimental or profound, there is one lyric that will always stand out for the fans to represent One Direction’s legacy perfectly: “I hope you’ll remember how we danced.” Ten years later, we haven’t forgotten.
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wendydarling1400 · 3 years
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JANE EYRE: INFP
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Fi:
Jane Eyre, throughout the novel is completely devoted to her principles and beliefs. Although quiet and isolated Jane is not afraid to express her true opinion and judgments. When she observes Mr Rochester alienating Adele she gently teaches him that Adele should be treated with respect; Jane shows that she has strong empathy and will not accept people talking down to children “Adele is not answerable for either her Mother’s faults or yours (...) forsaken by her Mother and disowned by you, I shall cling closer to her than before”; Jane is stubborn and unmoving in her moral judgments in which she pulls from her internal beliefs (this is evident in the fact that these views are deeply against the social norms of the time). As Jane moves from place to place the things she clings to is her sense of self and her determination to be happy with her moral actions, this brings her great comfort in her circumstances  “I can live alone if self-respect and circumstances require me to do so”; Jane leaves Thornfield on the pretence that she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she were to stay and be tempted into living a bigamous marriage. Mr Rochester recognises that Jane is innocent and “untainted” leading him to ask Jane continuously if the actions he has taken are morally right to which Jane happily and honestly gives advice “you would in time find it possible to become what you yourself would approve”.Although Jane expresses to the reader that she loves Mr Rochester “while I breathe and think, I must love him” and is completely loyal to him, she will not act immorally for him “I like to serve you in all that is right” again proving that her principles are the most important thing to her and that she constantly evaluates things from an Fi perspective. Jane longs for love and affection which is what makes following her principles even harder as they often cost her the gateway to that in which she is seeking “to the crib I took my doll. Human beings must love something.”  
Ne:
After establishing her principles and gaining all she feels she can from Lowood, Jane decides to move on. Although Jane is in search of a place or someone she belongs to, she easily becomes bored with the mundane and longs for deeper conversations and interactions finding  Miss Fairfax, though kind, does not satisfy Jane in this way. Jane is intrigued and drawn in by Helen Burns and Miss Temples conversions as they discuss the bigger picture, she sees this as meaningful and interesting. Jane attaches herself quickly to Helen who is at first not particularly welcoming to Jane “you ask too many questions, I want to get back to my book” although this interaction could have put Jane off, she enjoys Helen’s insights and wisdom “Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs”; Helen is wise and unlike other people around her, she talks about deeper matters of life in which Jane asks many questions about and seemingly absorbs the answers to (her Ne feeds her Fi); it is clear that many of Helen’s teachings are absorbed by Jane and brought into later life. Jane’s Ne lives for the excitement of deeper conversation and a thirst for diving into multiple hobbies including, painting, writing and playing the piano. It is this saviour function that ironically actually works as a saviour for Jane in her life, as a child she is told that she has ‘bad blood’ due to her emotional responses but her Ne and openness to new information (Helen and her teachings) transforms Jane into a principled and responsible young woman. In Mr Rochester Jane finds another person who enjoys deeper topics of conversation, he is also out of the box and strange, before Mr Rochester returned to Thornfield (before they met) she begins to find as months move pass by that she is becoming restless and again thinks of finding herself a new situation. However it is Mr Rochester and his company who keeps her at Thornfield. Jane also possesses a vivid imagination as she constantly invisions ghostly experiences in Gateshead, down the path whilst posting a letter (Gytrash), and most obviously at Thornfield hall; she expresses that as a child she only enjoyed reading stories about “fairies” and “genii”, and in later life is constantly told by Mr Rochester that she is like numerous different fairytale creatures and that she is“Unearthly.”
Si:
Sentimental and comfort seeking, Jane moves from place to place in search for a home and love. Jane consistently looks back over the past romanticising elements and also feeling upset over others. Though the book has to recollect her past, Jane has very strong feelings and statements to make regarding it. Jane reviews her past deeply and, remembers in great detail how she categorised each person and event she encountered. Jane has a Fi-Si loop which pulls her back in her personal journey; she has at times an unhealthy look on the past as she jumpes from one extreme view on the past to the other (pain and romanticism). After meeting the aristocratic group in which Mr Rochester brings to Thornfield one of the women automatically reminds Jane of Mrs Reed, Jane begins to sink into some of her past experiences of Mrs Reed and then forms somewhat of a disliking for the woman because she looks like her. When Jane returns to Gateshead to see Mrs Reed, memories flood back hitting her hard showing the power that Jane’s Si holds over her hitting her Fi at times very harshly. Obviously, we can all have bad memories but Jane is strongly guided by them and refers back to them many a time throughout her life, sometimes strongly living in the past “Old times crowded fast back on me”; “the inanimate objects were not changed; but the living things had altered past recognition” Jane clearly remembers Gateshead vividly as she travels back there in her mind frequently. It is clear that Jane’s Fi is strongly attached to her Si and is sometimes fed negative thoughts “I did not need directions to the well-known room, to which I had so often been summoned for chastisement in former days”; “the recollection of childhood terrors and sorrows revived”.  Even the physical places in which Jane lives mean a lot to her as she categorises each place as a new stepping stone in her life. 
Te:
Jane has a quiet and gentle nature however at moments during the novel her Te shows in a direct and passionate way; when Mr Rochester first talks about sending Jane off to a new place/situation, Jane quietly digests it trying not to show her grief, but over time Jane feels she cannot hold in her emotions anymore and speaks directly to Mr Rochester in an effort to get her views across which she had previously kept to herself “Do you think because I am poor, obscure, plain and little that I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! - I have as much soul as you - and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you." Mr Rochester is shocked by this side of Jane as it is rarely shown. Jane also speaks to the ‘gypsy lady’ directly as the interview she conducts feels uncomfortable, making Jane feel on edge and as a result she has a sharper tongue than usual “ ‘Why do you not consult my art?’ ‘because I am not silly.’ (...) “‘You are cold and you are silly’ ‘prove it’; Jane is more blunt and short when put on the spot by someone who is trying to read her deep emotions; making her defensive. 
Hufflepuff:
One of Jane’s main traits is loyalty, she is loyal in many ways; Jane is loyal to her principles sticking to them strictly, she is loyal to Helen and her guidance, and she is most obviously loyal to Mr Rochester. Jane has no idea what Mr Rochester’s big secret is and doesn’t try to force it out of him or investigate herself (by perhaps going up to the tower), instead she trusts him and does whatever she can to serve him as a friend; “Can I help you, sir? - I’d give anything to serve you”, Jane earns the trust of Mr Rochester very quickly despite the fact that he is deeply secretive, as he sees that Jane is loyal and honest and would keep his secrets not wishing to harm him “ ‘my little friend!’ Said he, ‘I wish I were on a quiet island with only you” Mr Rochester knows that Jane does not easily judge or cast aside people and that if everyone else around him were to hate him, she would not. Jane is forgiving, even though she feels great sorrow in regard to Mrs Reed she forgives her “a strong yearning to forget and forgive all injuries- to be reconciled and clasp hands with amity” this shows that Jane is caring and not prideful or bitter, she has true Hufflepuff traits (wanting peace and harmony). As Well as this Jane is also hugely modest and uncompetitive in nature “I will do my best; it is a pity that doing one’s best does not always answer”; “If he expects me to talk for the sake of talking and showing off, he will find he has addressed himself to the wrong person”, Jane is disinterested in gossip and being boastful and competitive, when Jane and Mr Rochester plan to get married Jane refuses to have anything big and over the top wanting only the simple things in life, the simple things strongly include love for Jane; “There is no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow-creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort”. When she learns that her uncle died and left her a huge sum of money, Jane’s initial reaction was sadness as she had never met her uncle, and not excitement towards the money that would mean a different life for her. Jane holds love above everything else. Jane is a Hufflepuff because she values, loyalty, kindness, modesty, fair-play and hard-work.
-WendyDarling1400
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ikevamp-shrine · 4 years
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Sleep Over Part 2
Word count: 1151
Characters: Le Comte, Leonardo, Dazai, Sebastian, Isaac, Arthur, Theo, Vincent, Mozart, Napoleon, Jean, William
Warnings: none
I freaking love the ending- just so y’all know.
                                                            ~*~
A soft melody shifted through the air growing in volume the closer Gwen came to Mozart’s music room. The piece he was playing had a light, airy tone and Gwen could feel herself bouncing her head along with the beat. The usually cold musician seemed to be in good spirits today, assuming by his music, which is something Gwen would definitely be using in her favor. Standing outside the door for the music to stop, and gently swaying to the beat, Gwen found herself raising her hand up to knock after the music did stop- but before she could hit the wood the door swung open revealing an blank faced Mozart. 
“What?” He asked, his voice steady. 
Gwen shifted the sliver tray in her hands the treats, consisting of chocolate, coffee just the way he liked it, and rogue, on the plater grabbing the vampire’s attention. Gwen could practically see his mouth watering. He reached out to relieve the girl of the tray when she suddenly stepped back, just out of arms reach to Mozart, and said, “uh, uh, uh... the only way you’re getting these lovely, tasty, mouth watering treats is if you do something for me,” in a teasing sing-songy tone of voice.
Mozart’s face crumbled in disappointment at her statement. Taking on a hesitant expression he asked the girl he had grown to tolerate what she wanted. 
“Good question Wolf, well you see there is an... event... of the sorts occurring tonight and I would appreciate it if you would attend... and you kind of can’t say no because Le Comte said you had to come,” Gwen rushed at, smiling, stumbling over her words, and whispering the part about Comte saying Mozart had no choice in the matter. 
“So be it.” 
Scoffing, Mozart yanked the tray out of Gwen’s hands and slammed his door irritatingly. A loud bang and the once happy song turned violent resonated from behind the closed door.
Outside the music room Gwen’s face lit up like a little kid on Christmas as she skipped down the hallway towards the kitchen to retrieve another round of treats for one of the more stubborn men. 
And that’s how the majority of the conversations between Gwen and the other men went- her bringing treats to bribe them with before telling them that they can’t refuse because a pureblood told them they couldn’t.
Arthur was easy to get to agree as well as Vincent, Dazai, and Napoleon. Isaac got flustered and whispered he would come, but only because she brought him a pie before slamming the door on her face. Theo had made her bark once and agree to making three times the normal amount of his favorite pancakes the next morning.  
Sebastian would be forced to come to insure the happiness and wellbeing of the attending residents. Poor man.
All it took for Leonardo to come was a kiss on the cheek, but Jean was probably the most difficult to convince. Jean was not a social person, anyone could see that. He tended to avoid any sort of interaction with everyone, and saying that Comte told him to come would make him want to not show just to piss the master of the mansion off. Gwen also had no idea what treat he liked or what to get him to bribe him with. Jean was like a wall- a hard, unmovable, brick wall. But after many minutes of deflecting his self-depreciating comments and refusals she finally managed to get him to agree.
“If you come I swear I will leave right now and clean out your portion of the stables for a week... you do not have to talk to anyone and I promise to try to keep Arthur away from you during the event,” Gwen pleaded glancing up at the marble statue look alike through her eyelashes. Poking out her lip for an added touch. 
Once Jean’s stone cold façade fell Gwen knew she had him. 
“If you wish, mademoiselle, but please leave the stables to me, I shall not ask such a woman to dirty her hands on my behalf,” Jean responded after kissing the back of her hand and taking his leave, the shadows seemingly swallowing his form as he quitely walked away.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” Gwen whispered while pumping her fists in the air and doing a little celebratory dance in the middle of the hallway before suddenly freezing her motions and gasping out, “wait I haven’t done the sheets.”
.
.
.
It was already dark by the time Gwen had finished preparing for the sleep over.
“Okay, so blankets, pillows, snacks, beverages, a mountain of pancakes, alcohol... what else am I missing?”
“Perhaps the guest, luv.” 
Arthur’s voice startled Gwen causing her to whip around in his direction all while almost knocking over one of the piles of neatly folded blankets. 
“By Jove Gwen some would think you were providing warmth for an entire army with that amount of blankets.” Arthur’s flirtatious laugh hung in the air.
“Thank you for putting so much effort into this for us Gwen. Theo what do we say?” Vincent said walking through the opened door, past Arthur who was currently walking over to the small selection of adult beverages, and straight towards a somewhat worried Gwen at Arthur’s display of licking his lips and hands reaching out to grab for a bottle. Her attention was quickly stolen away from the author by being hugged by Vincent, his warm body and sunflower scent washing over her. 
“Yeah, thanks or whatever Hondjie,” Theo’s gruff voice was muffled, distracted even, as he made a beeline for the pancakes.
A little while later almost everyone was in the same room, including a certain William Shakespeare who randomly showed up to talk to Comte but quickly regretted the action as he was now sandwiched between a smirking Leonardo and a glaring Theo. Everyone who was currently in the room could feel the tension between the trio, it was suffocating.
Isaac was quietly chatting with a barely awake Napoleon who was slumped in a chair his head falling back every once in a while. Le Comte was gracefully resting in a comfy recliner beside the roaring fire place, drinking a fruity smelling tea. Arthur was seeing how fast he could chug a bottle of wine after Theo said he couldn’t do it in under thirty seconds. Jean was huddled in the corner of the room appearing more like a scared cat on attack mode than an actual man. Mozart was leaning on the wall close to Jean with a disgusted expression on his dedicate featured face as he took in the other men’s actions. Sebastian was helping Vincent, who looked ready to burst into tears, untangle himself from about three blankets. All they were missing was the eccentric Japanese author. 
“Hey Cara, if Shakespeare starts ruining your time do not hesitate to call for me... I’ll make sure the little devil learns his lesson,” said Leonardo, the snugness in his voice was almost laughable, but the threat hanging in the air caused William to gulp and find his shoes incredibly interesting. 
“...truth or dare? What in God’s name is that Sebastian?” Isaac’s questioning voice rose above the rest of the chatting residents. 
“It is a children's game, Master Isaac. One person asks another ‘truth or dare’ and the person being asked has to pick one of the two actions... pick truth you get asked a question, and you must answer, pick dare you must do the dare someone gives you,” Sebastian responded while helping Vincent to his feet after they killed the blanket monster that attacked the painter. 
“Let’s do it,” hiccupped Arthur as he wobbly flopped on the floor swinging his feet back and forth in the air, and laying on his stomach in front of a disappointed looking Comte.
“Gwen truth or dare?” Arthur continued.
Gwen thought for a minute and choose the safest option, “truth.”
Arthur’s smirk spelled trouble. 
“What’s one thing that gets you hot and bothered every time?”
“Easy. Handcuffs.” 
The reactions of the men in the ranged from almost spitting out their drinks, gasps, knowing and dirty smirks, blushing faces, and Arthur saying, “you kinky girl.” While chuckling devilishly. 
“Napoleon, truth or dare?” Napoleon only responded to Gwen’s question by cracking his eye open and whispering a sleepy, “dare.” 
“I dare you to pin Isaac.” Napoleon eyes shot open as mischief ran ramped on his expression.
“You vile woman-” was all a horrified Isaac could get out before he found himself wrestled to the pillow and blanket covered ground. Isaac’s yelps and screeches merged with the demi vampire’s full blown laughs as Napoleon pinned Isaac’s wrists above his head all while sitting on the physicist’s waist, successfully leaving the smaller male to his mercy. 
“Curse the day you were ever born Gwen!” Gwen just smirked at Isaac’s cursing.
“Leonardo truth or dare?” Napoleon questioned while glancing up at Leo, Isaac still pinned under him.
“Dare.”
“I dare you to jump completely clothed in the thermae.”
Leonardo came back a few minutes after standing up and walking out of the room, completely soaked, clothes sucking his skin, and dripping water onto the floor. He walked over to Le Comte, who stared at Leonardo with an don’t-you-dare glare, plopping himself down on the arm of the recliner and leaning against the golden pureblood and saying, “old friend... truth or dare?”
Comte growled out, “truth.”
“Who in this room do you find attractive in a sexual way?”
“Sebastian, Arthur, Isaac, William, Gwen, and you. Jean, truth or dare?” Comte said those names so nonchalantly Gwen almost missed the fact that her own name was included in the list.
Jean appeared incredibly startled at being asked but non the less picked truth. Le Comte in return asked if Jean had ever been kissed before causing Jean to turn bright red and huff out, “...no.”
The next few minutes consisted of the rest of the present men being asked the same question and doing whatever they were told... until Isaac thought it a good idea to dare Vincent Van Gogh to bake a cake with no help which lead to the men and Gwen to all trudging their way to the kitchen and pilling themselves in a corner.
“Oh my god... he’s putting both self rising flour and baking powder in the-” Gwen stopped her rushed, worried whispers towards Sebastian to gasp and tug on the butlers coat sleeve, continuing by gritting her teeth and rushing out, “Sebastian that was a cup of baking powder. Sebastain he’s pouring white vinegar in the liquid's bowl... oh shit... Sebastian this is going to be so much to clean up.” Gwen took to hiding her face in the impassive butler's shoulder as he patted her head while screaming internally.
“... and now to pour the liquids into the dries... or wait is it pour the dries into the liquids? Oh well,” Vincent mumbled to himself as he suddenly took both bowls, one in each hand and suddenly dumped both into an even bigger bowl. 
“There that should do the trick.”
There was one second of peace before all hell broke loose. 
Vincent’s concoction exploded as batter was sent flying. The slicky, goopy liquid stuck to the walls, the cabinets, the residents, the vegeables, the spices, the utensils, cups, bowls, plates... everything. 
“.....what the hell Vincent?” Gwen wasn’t too sure who said it, but she couldn’t agree more as she slowly wiped off the batter from her exposed cheek.
.
.
.
“So are you still enjoying the thought of a ‘sleep over’?” Comte questioned Gwen as they both stood off to the side, watching as chaos reigned free in front of them.
“I regret everything.”
Back in the room they started the sleep over in 
A well known Japanese man threw himself through the window against the wall, stumbling and looking around confused at the lack of people in the room.
“Huh. Guess I’m early... Yay sake!” 
Closing the opened “door” behind him Dazai didn't notice his sleeve getting caught in the window as he all but tried to sprint over to the alcohol only to be tugged backward and fall hard against the floor with a thud.
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erbferbatinlerb · 4 years
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sorry for the long post, i'm on mobile and cant put a read more but.... drumroll please.... due to popular demand here it is! Phineas Has ADHD: The Essay.
Hyperfixation on building/inventing things: Even more specifically amusement park rides ("Rollercoaster", "Rollercoaster The Musical", "One Good Scare", "Leave The Busting To Us", "Don't Even Blink", "Cheer Up Candace", "Delivery Of Destiny", etc.) Now, you can argue that he's a kid, and rides are fun, so of course he likes them, but if you look at it from a building standpoint, from an engineering standpoint? Phineas' interest lies in fun, of course, but he also must have an extreme interest in the engineering aspect of a ride in order to be skilled and knowledgeable enough to build them, and to be able to focus on the task so wholly.
He also gets incredibly attached to very specific things that some people often find strange, which seems like evidence of hyperfixation to me. (E.g.: aglets in "Tip of the Day", dental hygiene in "Bully Bust", Bulgarian folk dancing in "The Beak", detective movies in "Finding Mary McGuffin") hot tubs in "Bully Bromance Breakup", "Lotsa Latkes", "Swiss Family Phineas")
HYPERFOCUS: He and Ferb will dedicate their whole day to just one idea that they have. Phineas is able to weaponize his hyperfocusing talent incredibly well and stick to one task, but only if it is something he is extremely interested in — for example: In "Bully Bromance Breakup", he becomes almost unable to function without the stimulation of inventing, to the point where climbing a mountain with his friends—something he, by all accounts, should enjoy—becomes a difficult task for him.
He displays forgetfulness: In "Mom's Birthday", Phineas forgets it is his mom's birthday until he hears Candace mention it, and then he feels extremely guilty. We then see a montage of him, during various situations from the previous episodes (on the rollercoaster, etc.) telling Ferb: "We can't forget mom's birthday." Even though this was of course, a bit, if you take this as being canon (which there's no real reason not to), it means Phineas was constantly talking about their mom's birthday for weeks leading up to the event because he really didn't want to forget it and he was worried that he would (and in the end, he did), implying he may have a consistent tendency to be forgetful.
Phineas has an intense love of summer, and is implied to have a dislike for school—  which is natural for any kid his age, but it's not hard to imagine that he might feel cooped up and creatively stifled during school. Especially if we put his attitude towards school next to that of Baljeet, with whom he shares a love of learning and knowledge, it's hard to ignore the difference. Being as we've seen Phineas get agitated when he's not able to build and invent freely and on his own terms ("Bully Bromance Breakup", "Summer Belongs To You"), it's easy to imagine he may struggle in a public school environment.
He has impulsive and thrill-seeking tendencies, which are evident in many of the big ideas. ("Escape From Phineas Tower", "Rollercoaster", "Ain't No Kiddie Ride", "The Beak", "One Good Scare", "Phineas and Ferb-Busters", "Leave The Busting To Us", ETC.) Adrenaline-seeking behaviour is common in individuals with ADHD and goes hand-in-hand with a low tolerance for boredom which Phineas explicitly states himself to possess in the very first episode of the show. ("Rollercoaster")
However, on the flip side to his aversion to boredom, he can also spend literally hours just standing in the backyard, not even talking, if that's just what he feels like doing that day. ("Best Lazy Day Ever")
He is highly energetic and is the most talkative one of his friends. He has also suggested having an awareness and perhaps an insecurity that he talks too much in some situations. ("Misperceived Monotreme")
He sometimes has trouble with listening, and interrupts people, especially when he's excited: in "Ready For The Bettys", when they stumble upon Perry's lair, Phineas assumes Ferb built everything and doesn't listen, constantly interrupting when Ferb tries to protest; in "Hail Doofania", he assumes that he knows what Isabella is talking about (not having seen a rainbow before) and makes it his mission for the day to do what he thinks she means, and doesn't take the time to hear her out when she tries to explain otherwise because he's too invested in/excited about the project he has in mind.
Obliviousness / missing of social cues: The most obvious example is Isabella's crush on him, which he consistently fails to notice. ("Chronicles of Meap", "Meapless in Seattle", "That Sinking Feeling", "Happy New Year", "Summer Belongs To You", "Happy Birthday Isabella", "Doofapus", "It's No Picnic") He also seems not to understand that Candace wants to get them in trouble, nor that he actually probably would get in trouble if his mom knew what he and Ferb were doing. In fact, he gets excited about sharing their endeavors with Linda, clearly oblivious to the potential repercussions. ("Traffic Cam Caper", "What'd I Miss", "Suddenly Suzy")
Highlighted Episodic Evidence
Chronicles of Meap/Meapless in Seattle
Phineas's dismissal of Isabella's "cuteness" comments shows again his difficulty picking up on social cues, especially when distracted by a mission. He does not seem to understand, or at least does not acknowledge, Isabella's clear frustration with him. He does not understand that he is dismissing Isabella's feelings, because to him it feels obvious that she is cute and he doesn't think he needs to say it. Followed up in "Meapless in Seattle" with the "You think I'm cute?" "It's a scientific fact!" interaction—Phineas is not understanding that this isn't really how to give a compliment; he does not seem to realize that by not acknowledging Isabella's cuteness he could be hurting her feelings/nurturing her insecurities.
That Sinking Feeling
Once again, he misses cues from Isabella about her feelings for him, or if he understands them, he does not outwardly acknowledge them. He also tries to create romance for Mishti and Baljeet by taking "scientifically" romantic things, based upon his research (mostly the movie Titanic): candles, live music, the situation of a sinking ship... He over-does these things in a calculated way to try and curate the most scientifically romantic situation possible. This also mirrors Candace's opinion about his cold, calculated methods in "Perry Lays an Egg".
Cheer Up Candace
Phineas cares about Candace and when he sees her upset, he wants to help her, and he makes it his goal to do so. He hears the first step from Isabella's magazine is a makeover and he immediately thinks of a clown. He sets off to execute his plan without consulting anyone (except Ferb) and after it goes, as you can expect, not well, he realizes in hindsight that his impulsive idea was built on flawed logic. However, rather than dwell on this, he decides to dive right into the next step and he continues to do wildly over the top, fantastical versions of the magazine suggestions. I think this demonstrates a lack of understanding for social cues as well as impulsivity and impatience. Furthermore, he doesn't even wait to hear step two before setting out to achieve step one, and he doesn't ask Isabella her opinion or even listen to her suggestions once he has entered his own Idea Zone. Also, the Mix 'n' Mingle Machine is a great example of his unconventional and greatly efficiency-focused thought processes—  
he thinks of it as the most efficient way to meet as many people as possible in a short time, demonstrating a clear misunderstanding of what the actual intent of "meeting someone" was in the magazine. He is also basing this idea on his personal notions of what he finds fun, not what Candace would necessarily want.
Summer Belongs To You
When stranded on the island, Phineas shows an intense frustration when he's unable to put an optimistic spin on things. He also has a clear discomfort when he is without any tools to build with. Again, we see his hyperfocus on inventing (in this case: fixing the plane) get in the way of Isabella trying to have a romantic moment with him, and in the way of relaxing in general. She sees the sights of Paris, alone time with him, and chances to enjoy themselves, whereas Phineas sees things he could use as airplane parts, single-mindedly focused on his mission. And again he misses or does not acknowledge Isabella's frustration with him in the "It seemed like romance was a foregone conclusion" scene. This is strong evidence for Phineas' hyperfixation because he gets so caught up in his own world when it comes to inventing/building/working that he doesn't even notice what's going on around him, then he fails to see the irony of him identifying Candace&Jeremy and Ferb&Vanessa as romantic interests while entirely missing the fact that Isabella & him are also "a boy and a girl, alone in the city of love."
Also of note is his complete focus on completing the Summer Solstice goal. Because, despite the fact that they made it back to Danville safely after being in a pretty perilous situation—which should have become their main concern being as they were just stranded on an island with no food or way to call for help—he cannot be satisfied with that. Needing to get home before the sun sets for the sake of winning his bet and symbolically representing his worldview, he yells at candace when she doesn't want to get on the trike, because he's determined to still get there on time, intensely focused on both proving a point and upholding his personal values.
Happy Birthday Isabella
Isabella does not want an over-the-top surprise party, all she wants is to spend time alone with Phineas, but Phineas is so focused on his idea of her perfect birthday party that he does not seem to realize what her wishes are. He sends her away from him so that she won't know about the surprise, and does not even do so very gently (getting Buford to carry her away in a sack) instead of even asking her what she wants.
Bully Bromance Breakup
In this episode, Phineas is shown to get extremely distressed when he has to go even a short period of time without building/inventing anything. This is representative of a need for constant stimulation (which would explain why he is so adamant that he cannot put up with boredom). This also evidences his hyperfixation on building/inventing. The whole time that they're climbing the mountain with Baljeet, Phineas is completely preoccupied by his ideas for inventions, and after Baljeet rejects his ideas a few times, he gets increasingly agitated, eventually gets to a point where he is unable to climb anymore and has to get pulled up by the others, and he is shown rambling to himself about all of the invention ideas he has.
This is by no means a definitive list, and I'm sure there are many more moments in the show that provide evidence of these ideas, but this is the ones that stood out to me. Anyway, in conclusion, Phineas has ADHD. If you're still reading this incredibly long post by this point: uhh, thank you, I guess! Have a nice day. 💖
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viviane-lefay · 3 years
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Yeah, no fucks to give here!
Really not into this ship - at least not in a romantic & sexual context.
At this point, I think it is best, if I put a little clarification here, before I continue:
This is just about my personal opinion, theories & headcanon - and by no means lays a claim to general validity (nor does your POV, btw).
I have more of a pick & choose approach to fandom subjects, anyway, so I can customize the experience exactly according to my needs and wishes. This is fiction, after all - the realm of endless possibilities - where anything goes, and where there is a place for the preferences of all of us.
That said, I really want to point out that I have nothing against people shipping the Dr. with Agent Stone - but since I, personally, prefer m/f ships, I’d rather choose the female OC approach, as it’s also my beloved villain x heroine constellation (not the subject of this post, though).
My take on the dynamic between the Dr. and his assistant is, therefore, quite a bit different from the fandom popular one. Well, to each his own.
What this post definitely is not, is an invitation for a debate regarding character interpretation, shipping choices, etc. - and all the potential drama that this might entail. If that is what you’re after, then I’d politely ask you to leave now, because all you are doing is wasting both of our time.
Let’s just agree to disagree and move on, k!?
I do my thing and you do you, guys!
I suppose, I made myself abundantly clear now.
Anyway, to return to the topic …
Where have all the male friendships & professional partnerships in fandom gone!?
Because, personally, I think agent Stone rather relates to his boss on that level…
Robotnik being a role model of some sort, that is - not unlike a kohai & senpai, or a younger & older brother constellation, actually - where the former looks up to the latter due to certain traits that he admires (and Stone certainly does). Regarding the age difference of the two, this could also make sense.
I’d estimate that Stone can’t be much older than his mid-twenties at most, since he’s in the position of a junior agent and assistant - still at the very beginning of his career path. And he’s very capable, disciplined and professional, at that, which is probably why he made it as Robotnik’s assistant at all (unsurprisingly, given the man isn’t the most patient).
Speaking of whom - I think, regardless of Jim Carrey being in his late fifties at that point - he, himself, can’t be that old, actually. My personal take (& preference) here would be late thirties, which would still make a lot of sense regarding his academic and occupational career. Being this overachieving genius, I guess that he finished school in time-lapse mode, skipping one, or even more grades - same goes for uni. Therefore, it wouldn’t surprise me if he was done by the age of 25 - his five PhDs included (bet he did two at once), which would still give him plenty of time to make his way as an agent and scientific government official up to the time of the events of the movie.
Aside from that, I can’t help but see parallels to the dynamic of Piett and Vader here, as well - a mixture of professional esteem and a bit of intimidation. But certainly no outright fear, as Stone is hardly under the threat of being strangled to death by his superior, like poor Piett is.
That is not to say that Robotnik’s still frequent misconduct towards him is ok (it definitely is not), but it certainly is more mild than he behaves towards, say, pretty much anyone else. Btw, that includes the “pin yourself to the wall”, grabbing him by the bottom lip and dragging him towards himself, while glaring at and chiding him (For what exactly!? Not being perfect, or as smart as him!? Chill, man, the boy is doing his best, and he’s doing a good job!).
Fandom, of course, does what it always loves to do - construe this as “evidence” for the alleged attraction between the two, which is pretty far-fetched, imho (…although you’re surely free to interpret it this way, if you so please. As I said, this is just my pov & to each his own. *shrugs*).
Anyway, you can clearly see Robotnik displaying this type of behaviour, along with the invasion of personal space, towards other male characters as well - be it “Major Nobody Cares”, “Officer Brainfart”, the big bar dude he threw out of the window, or Tom Wachowski. So, following this line of argument, does that mean he’s into these guys, as well!? Honestly, that’s pretty ridiculous!
If anything, it is a blatant display of asserting dominance, bringing the message home that he is the alpha male, while putting his opponent / subordinate in his place - and that’s it! What this behaviour definitely is not, however, is something remotely shipping related.
Besides, there are many examples of other male characters doing this for similar reasons, too - amongst others Darth Vader (remember that scene between him and Orson Krennic!?), and Severus Snape (after Harry invaded his memories during the occlumency lessons). And Robotnik does that quite aggressively in the cases above. In fact, it seems to be a fairly consistent behavioural pattern with him (not that he actually needed that though, but that’s an entirely different matter).
As for Robotnik’s personal attitude towards his assistant, I think Stone’s one of the very few people he actually respects, and even likes, because the young man’s esteem for him is so genuine, while everyone else regards him pretty much like nothing more than an asset, or a threat.
It’s not like he doesn’t somewhat encourage being kept in that position himself, behaving like he does - aside from actively reducing himself to his intellect & academic prowess. This isn’t all that surprising, as it is something he apparently gets his entire sense of self-worth from, and likely the only thing he got any appreciation for from others, which is, perhaps, also why he constantly needs to spotlight said trait (no behaviour someone truly at one with himself & his abilities would display, btw). Then, there is his little tolerance for failure - especially when it comes to himself. He truly expects to perform flawlessly, like a machine, and when he doesn’t, that really seems to unsettle him (that face when Tom points his unsuccessful attempts to catch Sonic out to him … he was so offended, he almost looked like he wanted to cry ^^;;).
So, of course it is likely that he becomes quite attached to the sort of attitude and behaviour that Stone displays towards him, even though he wouldn’t think of it this way - because, you know, emotional bonds with other human beings obviously are beneath him (Yeah, sure, we did see the veracity of that claim afterwards, didn’t we!?).
But, then again, growing up as an emotionally starved child and adolescent, used to being brushed aside, and, later, deliberately distancing himself from other people, he actually might have no clue whatsoever how to appropriately deal with things like these, and thus brushes them aside as “weakness”, which really does make sense, especially in the context that he was bullied as well.
Same goes for him eventually adopting the habit of pushing other people away via plain disagreeable behaviour. I think this phenomenon is called “hedgehog’s dilemma”, and it is quite ironic that he is more afflicted by it than his blue nemesis.
It is so painfully obvious that this guy has some massive issues, stemming from past emotional neglect and negative experiences - so much, that he even rejects all things human altogether, along with his own humanity.
His excessive idealization of and identification with technology, therefore, comes quite in handy as a defense mechanism in order to cope with said experiences.
Machines don’t ask much of you, they do what they are told, they are predictable, and they - above all - can’t suddenly abandon, betray, humiliate, and hurt you (which, I think, is the crux of the matter here).
Even though he might claim that his robots are everything to him, and that he doesn’t need anything and anyone else - his actions, however, prove otherwise … let alone his constant spiteful remarks on the matter, which just sound so damn bitter.
We can recognize that quite clearly when he is forced into involuntary seclusion on that mushroom planet at the end. This is where we see that what he truly is missing are not his machines (I bet he could have easily built a robot to accompany him out of the wreckage of his vessel), but one of the few people (maybe even the only one at that point), that he had apparently grown to value as worthwile company - namely agent Stone.
And, yes, it is very evident that he misses him (platonically, for me - but this isn’t even the point here) - he even tries to make a rock resemble Stone’s likeness in order to have someone to “talk to”, and mimic the social interactions he had with him.
Essentially, all those objects and machines are but a substitutive gratification that he tries to use, but that never come remotely close to the real deal, let alone are ever able to replace it.
In the end, he’s still a human being, along with all the human needs that go along with it - human contact and care included.
If the psycho-social and emotional makeup of his closest known relatives is any indicator to how his own might be structured - and it usually is (I’m speaking about the nature aspect, not nurture) - then he can’t be such a bad guy, after all - at least not inherently.
Taking his grandfather Gerald Robotnik, for example, who loved his granddaughter Maria (a total sweetheart) so much, that he was willing to do anything for her, in order to heal her from the fatal illness that was afflicting her - and who literally went insane with grief after losing her - then it shows someone with a strong emotional life, who feels what he feels very keenly and deeply. Furthermore, he is also someone that happens to bond very selectively, but if that is the case, it has this virtually absolute quality about it, with a love just as intense and profund to match (which is quite beautiful, actually).
On the other hand, though, that can also mean someone that has a high degree of emotional vulnerability, and who, therefore, is susceptible to sustain lasting damage from interpersonal traumatic experiences (which happens to be the case here, imho).
More often than not, it is this type of person that is likely to cork up their feelings and harden their hearts as a result - and who use every opportunity to deride the very traits, needs, and wishes they worked so hard to push away, if they see them in others. That is, amongst others, what gives them away. It’s pure projection - which is why I think that his caustic remarks should definitely not be taken at face value.
There are many, many examples of villains (or anti-heroes) that fit this type. Robotnik would hardly be an exception.
Besides, it is nice to see that Jim Carrey seems to have a fairly similar take on that matter (not that I actually care, but still):
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“… and all it really comes down to is, he wants to be special to somebody, only it’s gone megalomania for him.”  [x]
Ouch! Poor guy, actually.
He seems a lot like Ozai in that regard. No wonder I dig this dude (aside from him being hot, that is, haha) - he’s totally the type of villain I fancy.
And also, like it’s the case with Ozai, I can’t help but wonder about his past, given there is known so little about it (aside from a few hints), so the following will be about some of my personal theories and headcanons about him, his family, and his past.
These are such important characters (main antagonists, no less), yet the creators can’t bring themselves to be more specific about the most basic facts concerning their families. Ugh, huge pet peeve here! Nobody expects a huge ancestral chart down to the tiniest details, but they could at least offer more info about their closest relatives - especially the parents, who happen to have the most formative influence on a person.
How old was he, when his parents died, anyway!? That they died seems pretty much a given, as that is what being an orphan is about, per definitionem (and he referred to himself as such). But how did they die? Did he witness their death, or was he absent?
Personally, I have this theory that their demise might very well be linked with what happened to his grandfather Gerald Robotnik, and his cousin Maria. Perhaps they were on that space research colony during the military assault, and were also amongst the “collateral damage” there.
From what I read, the recruited scientists lived there, so I reckon that they did bring their families with them, which is likely, since it is said that Maria was born there, so at least her parents must have lived there for an extended amount of time, as well. Since Ivo isn’t Maria’s brother, but her cousin, Gerald must have had at least two children, who lived alongside him (… and his wife!? No info about her, either.) on that station.
While I think both of Ivo’s parents were from prominent scientist families (after all, that is what the population of this space station was comprised of), it is still unclear whether or not they remained on that station. I am inclined to believe they might have split their time between there and Earth, as Maria and Ivo don’t appear to have been particularly close, such as, for instance, her and Shadow (who was pretty much her only friend there), but I think that might also have been the case due to a difference in age.
Maria was 12 years old when she died during the military attack on the station. Since Ivo apparently seems to have no significant memory of his parents, and seems to have spent his childhood as an orphan, he can’t have been older than 3-4 during this incident.
With Gerald arrested, and pretty much the rest of the inconvenient Robotnik family gone, aside from that small child, I think the military decided to take him along, simply because of the vast potential of this child, coming from a bloodline of geniuses, that was now theirs to mold and to exploit.
They likely left the boy in an orphanage afterwards, mostly to his own devices, and without any support, or caregiver whose bonds transcended the mere duty of keeping their fosterling alive - a lonely life, largely deprived of emotional warmth and attachment.
However, they did keep him under close monitoring, so they could intervene anytime they saw fit, to stir him in the direction they wanted - like a psychological experiment of sorts. I remember that in the movie the presiding pentagon guy referred to him as “a lab rat with teeth” - which is rather telling regarding how they perceived him, and pretty nasty, considering the implication.
The Robotnik name, though, they obviously did not refuse him - a decision they would come to regret later. While this allowed him the only tie to his ancestry, their legacy, however, didn’t do him much good.
Gerald Robotnik was a disgraced man, known to the world as the genius madman, imprisoned and sentenced to death as a criminal - which was, by far not the whole truth. And yet, he was turned into this idealised picture of a hero by his grandson, who so admired his achievents and strove to become a scientist because of it, despite knowing only the official version of the story.
The tainted reputation of his grandfather would haunt Ivo for a long time to come. It would also become the lens through which he was perceived and judged by the world at large, and this turned out to be the main reason he was rejected, and, furthermore, relentlessly bullied by his peers - irrespective of his own accomplishments, which earned him at least the praise of his authority figures.
That he eventually snapped and retaliated, did not exactly improve the situation for him. While the bullying did stop for the greater part, the peoples’ suspicion had turned into fear, as their concerns had come to pass after all, and, as a result, he was shunned even more.
In the following years, he was further on groomed to become this perfect military asset - a morally unchecked scientist and ruthless agent, that the government could deploy like the weapon they undoubtedly saw him as.
Unfortunately for them, however, their experiment didn’t quite have the outcome they had anticipated, as he not only exceeded their expectations on an intellectual and scientific level, but, at the same time, became increasingly unstable, unpredictable (”psychological tire-fire”) and, hence, potentially dangerous - to such a degree that they became very hesitant to deploy him at all (despite the “perfect operations record”), and even downright terrified of him.
Frankly, I think they’d also have ample reason to be afraid of him, other than just his obviously ambitious nature. The most prominent being a possible event, where he finds out about what truly happened to his family and himself, as well as their role in this. Needless to say, that he wouldn’t take this lightly, considering all the shit he had to endure because of it, and likely seek revenge. I’d really be curious about such a scenario.
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anonsally · 3 years
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Transitions
As much as I had looked forward to the relaxing of pandemic restrictions as vaccination coverage increases (it is pretty high in my county, with over 70% of the population aged 12+ fully vaccinated, and an additional 12% who’ve had only one dose of a 2-dose vaccine), it’s a bumpy road, and of course now with the variants and the number of cases increasing, there’s additional anxiety.
We are back to dancing in the studio (albeit with masks, open windows, and slightly limited capacity), which has been great. It feels like a real return to normalcy and a reunion, with joyful hugs and getting to dance together and be in the same space. I am getting to see people I didn’t see during the pandemic, and reconnecting with some loose ties I had missed. It is absolutely feeding my soul.
However, the return to the office is a different story. From March 2020 until a couple of months ago, I was very eager to return to the office as soon as it was safe to do so. I have adjusted to working from home, and can acknowledge that there are some advantages, but I prefer having a better boundary between work and the rest of my life. Most importantly, though, the social aspect of working in the office is something I miss very badly. I feel isolated at home. My life has shrunk more than I want it to. As a shy extrovert, I need more social interaction than I have been getting, but I am not very good at actively seeking it out/making it happen; having friends I saw at work every day used to be an important part of my social life. Furthermore, working on campus gave me a sense of being part of a larger community, a sense that is hard to maintain when working in my own living room. 
However, when the dates for returning to the office were finally announced, I was blindsided by learning that my work friends were not in a hurry to return to the office--even the one whose kids (who are old enough to know better) didn’t hesitate to interrupt her while she was giving a virtual seminar lecture. In fact, my work best friend said she wasn’t sure she would be coming back to work on campus at all. She pointed out all the advantages for her of working from home. She is an outgoing introvert, so she used to socialise a lot at work, but apparently it felt like a burden. She concentrates better at home and likes that she doesn’t have to waste any time getting to and from the office (though her commute was only about 10 minutes by bike). 
I suddenly realised that returning to the office will not be what I had assumed it would be and had looked forward to. There were repeated conversations about it over our group text, most of which consisted of me pointing out the advantages of working in the office and Work Best Friend pointing out the disadvantages. I thought I communicated pretty clearly that seeing these friends was one of the main reasons I had been looking forward to going back to the office, and that I would really miss them.  
It’s already a month since I had the option to return to the office, and I still hadn’t done it because there didn’t seem to be much point in going back if I was the only one. I’m not good at transitions, and the uncertainty and anxiety was starting to get to me; so I figured I should just do it and at least get rid of the uncertainty, which would presumably reduce my anxiety.
So I brought my desktop computer (with 2 monitors, mouse, keyboard, and all the cables) back into the office on Monday. But... it was really depressing. The building was a ghost town. I could practically see the tumbleweeds rolling past. It was exactly what I had feared. I saw only 3 people, one of whom has the desk next to mine--I was glad to see her, but she told me she will be working remotely a lot of the time (and she works much earlier hours than I do so there isn’t much overlap in our day). Work Best Friend kept sending texts about the possibly inadequate covid-safety protocols and policies, which increased my anxiety about a transition I was already struggling with, and I ended up crying while doing my grocery shopping on the way home. Bizarrely, she then texted a little while later saying something like “Are you excited to be back in the office? (I can be happy for you even if it isn’t what I want for myself!)” So... apparently I had not really communicated to her how devastated I’d been by her resistance to returning to the office, and by the emptiness of the office that day. We cleared it up that evening, but... I was still really down.
Tuesday I didn’t even go back in--I had an appointment and a meeting (and I needed to be home for the virtual meeting), and then spent the rest of the afternoon getting through some emails and reading, so I didn’t need my work computer. 
Wednesday, I brought my office chair back in, and luckily, the office wasn’t so deserted. There were several more people in, including one of our new faculty hires, and I got some social interaction in the office. Thursday, I had lunch with the two aforementioned coworkers (Work Best Friend and the one whose kids interrupt her at home all the time), and the latter came into the office to transfer her things from her desk (which was opposite mine) to her new office down the hall. [She’s been promoted to a faculty job title that entitles her to an office with a door that closes, as opposed to the open floor plan workspaces the non-faculty academic employees like me get. I’m happy for her, though of course a bit sad that she’ll be further away from me.] Again, there were more people working on site. 
Friday, there were only a few of us--I think a lot of people will work from home on Mondays and Fridays maybe--but I still feel reassured by how the office felt on Wednesday and Thursday. Several people who were there commented on being glad to be back, and also, more people will definitely be around once the semester starts.
On the other hand, one floor of the next building over is currently having a covid-19 outbreak (8 cases reported in just 3 days), so I am a little anxious that we shouldn’t be back yet. Campus is implementing a vaccine mandate (people can apply for medical or religious exemptions, but then they will have to be tested every week), but not until the 4th of August. I think over 70% of employees have provided proof of vaccination, and it’s possible that some of the others are actually vaccinated but haven’t documented it yet, or that most of the unvaccinated people are working remotely, but... it’s still a little scary.
tl;dr: Transitions are hard, even when you want the change.
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Top 5 relationships in The Mortal Instruments
Lets be real the shadowhunter chronicles has grown into a huge world world with more characters than could ever all stay in one in any one institute (and remember institutes are for some reason designed to accommodate the same number as nice hotels) and because so many of them interact we have had some pretty cool characters and some pretty great relationships. I thought I would make ranking lists ranking the my personal favorites for members of family as well relationships in each series. IMPORTANT: When I say “relationships” I am not being specific to any one type of relationship (romantic/family/friend). I just mean two characters who share a type of bond.
Since The Mortal Instruments or TMI, came out first I will start with it. 5 relationships in TMI who have really well done dynamic’s and I want to take this opportunity to spotlight them below
5.) Jace & Church
Aww Church, he was doing the grumpy cat act before it was cool. Everybody loves Church. Church loves Jem and likes exactly one person per series/generation. In TMI the one person Church likes is Jace. Now other instances you could argue that Church liking Jace is just another attempt of CC to enforce that Jace (mr. blond hair, gold eyes, gold skin, takes a bath in golden spaghetti) is the golden boy and everybody should like him. But once you look at who Jace and Church are as characters (what character Jace has that's not referenced by his aforementioned coloring) them being buddies makes a lot of sense. For one thing we know from the falcon story that Jace is fond of animals that have adittutes, which Church certainly does. The first time he made friends with such an animal Valentine... But Valentine is gone when Jace meets Church, and none of the Lightwoods mind if Jace wants to goof off with the cat (to them that’s probably one of the least reckless things Jace likes to do). So for Jace Church is in essence a way to reclaim part of his childhood that Valentine tried to twist and corrupt.
On the other side I love how respectful Jace is of Church’s boundaries. Guys Church has a past as extensive and hard as any other character in TSC. HE has been both a pet and a wild cat many times over, he ha been treated well by some humans, and horribly by others. This is no purring kitty-cat that is going  to just climb into someones lap wanting hands run through his fur or to be picked up and carried around. No Church doesn’t like that. Jace understands this, and never tries to force Church to let him handle him. IF Church wants Jace to touch him he will take the initiative and walk up to Jace’s leg. If not Jace is perfectly happy to hang out in a room or follow the cat at a distance, pretending to chat with him. I saw a post that said that even after Church got reunited with Jem (churches OTH) Church still considers Jace his buddy and they hang out during visits, that is precious.
4.) Alec and Magnus aka Malec
Aww Here they are, fandom darlings and CC’s poster couple for LGBT+ inclusion. I promise that is not why I put them on this list. I actually never give characters or couples brownie points for being same sex or anything like that because so many writers try to get away with making “Gay” a characters whole personalty or squeezing in characters for the sole purpose of saying “look inclusion, look I can be woke” and then they don’t consider it necessary to put the level of characterization they would into a straight character in. I do like inclusion and feel it is important, but only when it is fully developed to the best of a creators abilities.
Now I will admit here that Malec are only my second favorite romantic couple in TMI. That being said I do really like them. I like the pace that their relationship develops at. When other couples did the whole love at first sight or suddenly inexplicably in love. Malec moved at what I consider a pretty realistic pace and you could easily follow their journey. In book 1 they met at a party and decided the other was pretty cute, started to spend time together on occasions, started to like each other, then started to really like each other. It’s  not until  the very end of book 6 where you fee like the two are really committed to the whole “Okay it’s you and me till the end” idea, and you are glad to finally see them there.
That brings me to my second reason for liking Malec. They are a hot mess, as all three main couples are, but unlike with the other two Malec never pretended to be anything other than a hot mess. If I compared Malec to Clace i would say that Clace follow a pretty typical fairy tale formula: I met you and I loved you, then the evils in the world conspired to keep us apart, but I fought my way back to you and now we can live happily ever after. Malec aren’t like a fairy tale though. They are that high-school/early college couple who are consistently on and off. The rocks in their path aren’t “evil forces” it’s just them. Just the fact that they both have a tendency to be whinny, stupid, jealous, controlling, a!@#$”s to each other. Honestly if they didn’t care so much about each other, then they would be a really toxic couple. But they do care a lot about each other. They hated when they were always fighting. They hated seeing each other so sad. But they couldn’t just forget about their problems or pretend them away. So many times throughout TMI Malec would find themselves at a cross road where on one path they force themselves to change and see if that made their relationship better , and another path were they decide that it is just to much to and call it quits. They broke up twice because they got to times where it was just to much to keep going the way they were and neither were ready to change. But then they couldn’t stop thinking about the other or missing the other. So, when they met up again they would always reconcile and be ready to put in the work to change their relationship for the better.  Looks like those changes worked out given that years down the line we see then happy, married with two kids, happy at their jobs, hosting social gathering with their friends as apposed to before when they would always spend then picking at each other or having an outright fight.
Malec are not perfect, TMI never pretends they are. They are both a lot to deal with and at least a few times one of them will slam their hands down on some surface, and I as a reader found myself wishing I could bring my hands down on the pair of thems heads. But I consider Malec a pretty gritty look at what any couple can be like at their lows, as well as the highs they can reach if they are willing to put in the time and work, and exactly why some are willing.
3.) Maia and Bat
What? What was that? If Malec are only my second favorite couple in TMI then who is my favorite? Oh, it’s Baia. Baia is like literally the perfect couple. They met years ago became best friends, tried dating and went back to being best friends when Maia-who had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and was still recovering- told Bat that was all she could handle. Their friendship is shown in the background throughout books 2-5 and we see that they always have each others backs. We see Bat is always their for Maia, always trying to take her out as a friend and convince her to have fun. Maia supports Bat’s DJ career and talks about how much she admires him for perusing such a normal mundane life because (regardless of the fact that they aren’t normal mundanes) its what he wants. Their relationship is brought to more of a focus in book 6 when shadowhunters leave, demons attack and their fellow downworlder start staging uprisings. Both of these two are still so young, and now (with their Alpha away indefinitely) their whole world is falling apart. Fixing this isn’t their job, no one has tasked them with it, but its the only way to keep themselves, each other, and everything they love safe. SO they make the choice to take action. Like everything in their lives since they met, they make a point to always support each other. Bat challenges an aggressive wolf for control of the pack because he has sen this wolf go bully those close to Luke and is determined to protect Maia. When Bat goes down in the fight Maia tags herself in and fights to protect him. When Maia wins she wakes up Bat isn’t upset or embarrassed that she had to save him, He immediately throws support to her as his Alpha. One of Maia’s first act is to make Bat her Beta because they are a team and their is no one she trusts more. They rebuild their pack and the Predator Lupis together, and also get back together. But that is less important because no matter what their relationship they have always and will always be there. 
Seriously when every other couple acted stupid, was over dramatic, were never sure where they stood with each other; Maia and Bat were true friends, true love, and unwavering in their support. So what keeps them from being number 1 on this list? Well were still a background relatonship for most of TMI (a lot of the fandom either didn’t remember or didn’t care that they got together at the end or that they were even friends). Also knowing CC and general media aimed at TMI’s age group I have to unfortunately believe that if CC had wanted to bring more focus onto Maia and Bat,then she would have made them way more dramatic and less awesomely supportive. Moving on
2.) Valentine and Luke
I can hear the gasps from here. No, not read that wrong, it really says Valentine and Luke. How could I talk just get praising a supportive pair only to go and talk about a pair that betrayed and tried to annihilate the other? Well for one thing I will remind you Valentine and Luke whole dynamic is friends to enemies. As that they really work. Luke never had what it takes to be a shadowhunter on his own. He says himself that he couldn’t bear easy marks, he couldn’t do simple training exercises, he was miserable and ready to just drop out and give up. Then Valentine “came into my room and offered to train me”.  Even in the future Luke says that in their first interactions that Valentine saved him. That he is the one who made Luke into a shadowhunter. Well truth be told Valentine made Luke more of an assistant Shadowhunter, to him, but it is still farther than Luke was getting on his own, and its completely genuine when he says he loved and worshiped Valentine. You see why he was so blind to what Valentine (Stop trying to pretend you were always in the right Lucian) what both of them were becoming. Valentine gave Luke a life as a shadowhunter, and then he took it away. Valentine thought he was covering himself, that he was getting rid of a doubtful ally before he had a chance to become an enemy.
Getting Luke turned into a werewolf was easily the biggest mistake of Valentine’s life. Shadowhunter Luke was never able to do anymore than listen to Valentines orders and carry them out with no thought but how much doing so would please Valentine (Shadowhunter Luke= Valentines pet lap dog.) Werewolf Luke could say no. He could fight Valentine to a stand still at least, beat him at best. Werewolf Luke had knowledge and insight as to the needs of both Downworlders and Shadowhunters, and used that knowledge paired with Valentine’s impediment threats to rally the downworlders and get them to force the clave to give up 4 seats on the council. Because of Luke Valentines war caused Downworlders to get more rights instead of less. (Shadowhunter Luke=Valentines pet lap dog. Werewolf Luke= has more brains and skill than Valentine) Valentine thought he was getting rid of a potential threat when he had Luke turned; instead he gave his strongest supporter the push needed to break away from him, and the motivation to take become the man who had enough power to foil all his plans. That their is Irony at its finest my friends. I love it.
And Now 1.) Jace and Simon
This is hands down the best relationship in TMI and should I ever make a top 5 relationships This one will definitely be in it. How can they not when they are literary the TSC equivalent of Batman and Superman. (I mean that quite literally by the way. Jace is Batman: A hero who lived a life of pain and loss and used that as a motivation to protect people and prevent harm. Simon is Superman: A hero who wasn’t born into this world, these people weren’t always his people, but he decided that this was his home now and he was going to make it a better place.) There are so many things I love about these two I love how well their relationship was paced in how as they got to know each other more they transitioned from enemies to rivals to friends to family. I love their banter. these two together make me laugh more than any other pair. The number one thing I love about Jace and Simon is how careful CC was to keep them standing on Equal ground.
I meant they weren’t equal when it came to who had Clary’s affections. No Jace won that battle the moment Clary ditched simon, who was in the process of asking her out, to go find out who Jace was and what he was doing at the club. But lets look at virtually every other factor. Both are young men only 16 who have suffered the loss of a loved one before and are fiercely loyal and protective of the ones they have left. Neither are always sure who they can trust. In book 1 Jace is introduced s having vanquished more demons than anyone else in their age group, Before the end of Book 1 Simon is revealed to be skilled in archery and uses that skill to vanquish an incredibly dangerous Greater Demon. In book 2 Simon dies then is brought back from the dead to rise again, Jace does the same, through admittingly different methods, one book later. Jace is from a powerful race of hunters (shadowhunters), lets make Simon a member of a another powerful race of hunters (vampires and then Shadowhunters). Oh it looks like Jace has extra gifts his blood is special. Jace gives Simon his blood and Simon now has extra gifts to. Both of them have been hunted over their gifts, both have tried to help and protect the other. Jace giving Simon that Blood was a huge sacrifice and then he sacrificed for him again by admitting what he did to Valentine, knowing it will anger Valentine and could cause him to lose love for Jace. So in the second half of the series Simon starts Sacrificing for Jace. He gives up not only the mark of Chain which protected him from harm, but also a beloved memory connecting him to his own late father. Jace showed Simon a lot of the Shadoworld, and Simon returned that by teaching Jace aspects of mundane life. He told him pop culture references, let him stay with him in his apartment, taught him to play video games, and even took him grocery shopping. (Ask me why Jace seems more human when he is with Simon yet more like a fantasy man with Clary)
After reading Tales From The Shadowhunting Academy I will say that Jace was the ONLY one of the TMI gang who deserved to get Simon back. He is the only one who ever seemed to think about how Simon must be feeling or made any effort to be there for him. Alec and Magnus ignored Simon and acted like they didn’t care that he was back, while Isabelle and Clary were both incredibly selfish and only seemed to think of themselves. They actually had the audacity to blame Simon for not remembering them, and make him feel more like crap for not being able to just walk back into a life they knew he couldn’t remember, knowing that he sacrificed his memories to save THEIR lives. Clary Isabelle I am so disappointed in you ladies. Jace you are doing great.
Ending this to anyone wondering if at this point if I ship Jimon; Yes. I think they would have made an awesome couple. I also think they are awesome as friends and brothers in law. Any way you slice it Jimon is top tear writing
This has been my top 5 TMI relationships. I will do a TID top 5 when I either learn how to make these smaller, or have the time to do one this long again. Heads up it will probably be the second one.
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studymrcogofficial · 2 years
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Revision MRCOG PART 2
Thus, you have gone through a while to cover test schedule and presently the time has come to begin updating for the impending MRCOG section 1 and 2 tests. You may have reconsidered a few themes as of now and might have been really baffled to find that you barely recollect the greater part of the data. Indeed, we as a whole have been there previously and, in this blog, I mean to share the total of my reliable correction methodologies that really work for MRCOG Section 2 and comparable composed tests for MRCPI and EFOG.   During the underlying period of test arrangement, which is typically numerous months preceding the test, we will in general invest longer energy in understanding a point, making notes and attempting to remember it.  Not many weeks after the fact, to our colossal dissatisfaction, we track down that all the data has washed away as though we never read it. This is the thing that is called 'memory recovery disappointment'. All that we read is encoded and put away in our memory, yet it should be recovered to be utilized. Curiously, under the pressure of test, long haul memory works better compared to transient memory from last moment amendments. There are many variables that can impact recovery of data from long haul memory, and absence of modification is one central point. Compelling correction can't be hurried, for instance, you need to give yourself great 2-3 months devoted for update alone. This period is needed by your cerebrum to hold data in an essential way and build up the memory bank. The systems to use in the following half a month for powerful correction of composed tests are worked out beneath: Discover what works for you: Everybody learns and recalls in an unexpected way; what turns out astoundingly for A may not work for B. Essentially duplicating advices never assist except if you with having investigated your learning examples and practices. Recollect and sort out what worked for you the best in the tests where you breezed through without a hitch. For example, the strategies that I find accommodating are: making cheat sheets, making mind maps, stream outlines and calculations stickies on the dividers, composing and summing up and so forth To put it plainly, I realize that I retain best when I compose, and in this interaction, I make every one of the reminders recorded previously.   There is consistently a component of experimentation to design the best strategy that works for you. These procedures might shift starting with one piece of the test then onto the next relying upon what is tried in the test. Hence, it is significant to give yourself a lot of time for correction. Reconsider multiple times before the test: I realize it is overwhelming and nobody needs to do it (counting myself), yet tragically, redundancy is the foundation of recovery of a data from your drawn out memory bank.  One of the commonest and the greatest slip-up isn't having the option to get back to your notes more than once. Learning is a course of slow commitment with thoughts; steadily the commitment works to a minimum amount when the understudy really gains the thought. Redundancy matters since it can rush and extend this commitment cycle. Yet, without a doubt, this is more difficult than one might expect on the grounds that redundancy has its dim sides; it tends to be exhausting and tedious, it might bring aloofness and hesitation and so forth Also, if not done effectively, it doesn't empower an association among new and past information.  The advantage of redundancy lies in utilizing significant learning procedures. Significant learning alludes to how every one of the bits of a whole idea fit together. It is dynamic, valuable and dependable, making it the advantageous type of picking up during redundancy. I help my understudies to accomplish this learning by applying an alternate strategy with every reiteration, point isn't only recovery of memory yet additionally to foster basic reasoning while at the same time recovering a similar data in an alternate setting.  This is clarified further in the following point. Spread out your modification: The schedule for MRCOG is broad with 14 information regions (center modules) being tried over different Capacities by and by (CiPs). On top of this everybody has occupied life schedules with work, social and family obligations. In case you are extremely fortunate, you will actually want to get 2-3 weeks of yearly leave before the test. In any case, because of the broad idea of schedule, this time isn't adequate. Along these lines, you need to fan out your amendment in the last 2-3 months before the test. I generally prescribe this to be finished utilizing different procedures to stay away from repetitiveness and to enact a basic reasoning cycle. In this way, all things being equal, over the most recent couple of months you will invest more energy amending yet should continue to cover the left-over subjects that you have not covered even once.  Actually, amendment interaction can be begun as right on time as 1-2 months subsequent to beginning the underlying arrangement. All you need is a small bunch of notes that you can amend throughout some stretch of time. Yet, at this moment, as the fundamental center is correction before tests, here are my proposals about spreading the amendment from this point until test: Sort out what time turns out best for you when you catch on quickly, attempt to overhaul when you are generally ready and centered. This might fluctuate from one day to another contingent upon your accessible as needs be movements and every day schedule. Utilize this time admirably by dissipating the correction into different examples for the duration of the day. Allow me to disclose this to you with a model: As per my schedule, I used to have a count of 30 MCQs, 5 EMQs, one rule and one Frock article to be updated each day somewhat recently nearer to the test. Thus, I used to cover these objectives as portrayed beneath: I used to do the inquiries during my drive to and from work, and furthermore irregularly all through my obligation at whatever point I got a possibility. For the rule, I liked to utilize 'self-reflection' strategy. In this strategy, I used to glance back at a case that I oversaw in my reality. I used to note down whatever I did from the start till the end. Then, at that point, I would pull out my rule notes and contrast these and my own training. I used to feature the focuses that I did any other way or that I neglected. Then, at that point, I used to invest some energy overhauling the focuses I missed in my own administration. For Frock articles, I utilized 'conceptualizing' strategy where I originally used to conceptualize what I definitely knew under each heading of an article, then, at that point, going through the article to recognize what I actually need to bear in mind and afterward rehashing it a couple of times.   These exercises used to be spread all through a typical day, while I saved the work area concentrate on schedule to go through the troublesome and left-over points since I required a progression of considerations to do that.  Obviously, you can devise your own examples and timetables, this is only an illustration of how I did it.
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