#and where i’d want to be instead

[theminecraftbee]

Joel sits awkwardly at a family dinner table that isn’t for him.

It’s nice and all, he reckons, for Impulse’s family to invite him over after he leaves the hospital. Even before—everything—Joel’s family hadn’t really been the “big meal around a big table” type, so he’s getting some new experiences here too. And it’s nice and all, that they want to thank him for his role in finding Skizz.

But like. It’s not like he or Impulse or Skizz could explain how it happened, when asked. “Magic brain ghosts” and “evil butterflies” and “Joel still isn’t certain all of that was real and is trying to pretend it wasn’t” puts a damper on that. Also, adults are kind of shit at talking around the fact Joel’s whole family is dead, so he gets the sense he’s sort of harshing the vibes, you know?

Still. It’s a nice gesture. He guesses. It’s free food at least, which is decent, and as close as Impulse and Skizz are, every time one of Impulse’s family says something stupid, Skizz taps Joel’s leg with his foot or steals a roll or something, and it makes Joel feel…

He’d have been sad if Skizz had died, probably. Like, he wouldn’t know. He didn’t come here to make friends, he came here to get a degree and get out. Also, that’s stupid, because it’s not like Joel would have known he was missing a really awkward congratulatory family dinner in which Skizz kept on trying to sneakily steal beans. Probably would have just moved right on. He’s not… friendly.

But.

They stand outside afterwards, waving by to Impulse, promising to walk together so that neither of them Vanish. They’re quiet.

“Thanks, man. That meant a lot to them,” Skizz says.

“Yeah, well, I can do stupid things for free food,” Joel says.

Skizz laughs. “It was nice having you there, too. Man, they’re even worse with you! It’s like not knowing you means they’re even more awkward about family tragedy.”

“Trust me, most adults are way worse. You should see my social worker,” Joel says.

“Didn’t he ditch you, dude?”

“Haha, yeah, he did,” Joel says.

They stare up at the streetlamps together.

“I was really ready to go for a bit there,” Skizz says. Joel’s hackles raise. Oh no. Emotions. Bad. Go away. “It was like—man, it felt like the whole world was empty. But when you showed up, it’s like I remembered… I’d miss dinners, dude.”

“I have no idea why, that kinda sucked,” Joel says, baffled and sarcastic, because he’s a moron who can’t handle emotional conversations, this is why everyone avoided him at the funeral, stupid.

Skizz breaks out laughing.

“You’re great, man! I’m glad we met. Uh, my place is only a block away, and I won’t go following any stupid butterflies. See you at school?”

“Yeah man. See you,” Joel says—

I am thou.

Thou art I.

Thou hath formed a new bond.

With the power of the Chariot Arcana, you shall build the chains with which to hold on to reality.

RANK 1!

“What the hell?” Joel says, tripping over his feet. “What? What? Where did—what the fuck that wasn’t Pygmalion oh god do I have more than one voice in my head—”

“Dude, are you okay?”

Skizz’s almost frustratingly strong and comforting arms grab Joel.

“Tell me you heard that,” Joel says desperately.

“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about. I could take you back to the hospital—no?”

“I am either crazy or am going to end up in a government lab?” Joel says, voice getting high and squeaky.

“We can ask Mr. Hills about it? He came to talk to me after I woke up in the hospital, apparently he like, knows stuff,” Skizz says.

“I don’t wanna,” Joel says.

“Tough luck, buddy, you just almost fell over and cracked your head open!”

Suddenly, Joel remembers a long-nosed man and a blonde in a very blue boat. He remembers a cryptic conversation about bonds and power and their importance. He takes a deep breath. “Can you cover your ears for a moment?” he says.

“Yeah, sure thing, why—”

Joel, as loudly as he can, screams. He hears several birds fly away. He pants.

“…Joel,” Skizz says.

“Yeah thanks man don’t worry about it let’s never speak of this again I’m sure it’s nothing. I definitely didn’t have a weird dream about this and should go to bed.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever you say,” Skizz says cheerfully before laughing, which Joel continues grumbling about all the way back to his apartment.

#smallishsona au #joel smallishbeans #skizzleman #a bee fic #WELCOME CHARIOT ARCANA #figured I’d come poke this some more. still getting through the ‘opening tutorial’ part of the game. #this is where you’re railroaded through your first social link so you can learn how that mechanic works lol #I AM bending the rules by having it be skizz instead of the fool thanks for asking #I just think he deserves it. #also skizz being the first male friend also breaks the magician rule #but like. HE DESERVES IT. #and scar isn’t far off I can do what I want.

[stuckinapril]

Think I’m making communication a non-negotiable for 2024. If you don’t know how to properly communicate like an adult we quite literally can’t be friends

#I’m not trying to be a bitch like I get that this is hard for lots of people for various reasons #i think I’m just at a point where I want people to come correct instead of waiting for them to potentially get better #only for me to learn in the harshest way that they’re only getting worse #I’m not gonna be ur practice run this year. come when ur ready #the moment I sense someone isn’t saying what they mean it’s so over. like I’m flexible on so many flaws but NOT this one. communicate !!! #the people pleasing is literally kicking in rn but I’m just trying to be honest w myself about what my capacity can handle at the moment #and I’m genuinely at my wits’ end when it comes to communication. so I don’t think I’d be the best person for people like that #is this mean?? this feels like a fair boundary to make #p

[casukaga]

cable started as a character i had to make for an animation class, so here he is in his og fit ✨

— my dnd oc, cable (he/they)

🌟 Instagram | Twitter | Youtube | Ko-fi 🌟

#they r blorbo to me #i am giving him a smooch #i love thinking abt where cable started to where he is now…..i so fondly remember brainstorming him in january.. #// #i didn’t give his puppet a tail back then bc (1) i forgot and (2) by the time i realized it i did not want to go back and rig a tail lmao #also no black long sleeves bc i didn’t rlly like them in the og anyways — also he has arm tats now! and i’d rather show those off instead :) #dungeons & dragons #d&d #dungeons and dragons #dnd #dnd character #tiefling #oc #original character #casu art #casu ocs #my shtuff #angels of apostasy #cable

[wi1dshxpe]

my top ten list of things i headcanon durge and gortash did before having sex, kissing or admitting feelings like normal people includes: sleepovers where they voluntarily share a bed(as professionals do), platonic biting and commissioning nude portraits of one another

#dark urge #durgetash #enver gortash #durge #a wild variant of the ‘just one bed’ trope where durge asks to stay the night and while enver makes their bed in another room they fully #fall asleep in his bed and gortash is absolutely pissed but instead of waking them up just joins them #it becomes normal for them just to make themselves comfortable in each others homes as a way to ‘show dominance’(they are friends having fun #and being comfortable together) #non leathal platonic biting is a show of trust but enver did come in his pants #and the portraits were like a game of chicken that they both lost. #enver getting his portrait painted: bet you want of these #durge: orin does plenty already #enver: she’d never do one of us together *thinks* one of you indecent #durge: ha. #durge: i’d do it if you did it. #enver 100% already had but durge got to pose and accessorize him #durge asked for two painters (gortash knew why). #gortash’s accessory was the blood of the first- durge posed him as tastelessly as possible #gortash accessorized durge with his gold (seems kinder than durge’s but they both know it’s just as much an act of claiming the other) #as the blood) #he poses them like a renaissance painting (he’s just got more class than them) they both end the day with paintings they can put up no where #and we’re basically of a waste of money

[crossbackpoke-check]

it’s all the rest of what i want with you

connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k

Summary:

“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”

“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.

in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!

#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu #HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand #in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred #because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it #including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines. #like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like #‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted #and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.) #i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on #this one but the full quote was too long: #all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless #so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one #and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o. #liv in the replies #shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs. #if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡 #the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is. #far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze #laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…) #also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy

[winemom-culture]

Decided I’m gonna get really into working on our yard.

The thing is: the yard is like 80% weeds. No exaggeration

#the last people who lived here just must not have touched it #I know it’s in vogue to have weeds instead of pristine lawns these days but I want a lawn #but at the same time I’m not trying to sink a bunch of money in it because it’s a rental also #my dad thinks the only way in its current state would be to fully resod #so I think I’m going to start with clearing a small sport #to see how sod takes #ideally I’d like to try to grow some things eventually too #plants and veggies and such #so maybe some soil patches won’t need sod in places where the sun reaches

[stardial]

it’s been an incredibly tumultuous last one and a half months for me emotionally, but i think i’m finally starting to recover properly and it feels really nice

#the first like. week and a half of the year was amazing becuase i got to spend it with anethia <3 and then rama and sunday <3 #but like as soon as i got back to school one of my friends died and that put me in such a severe downward spiral #and there was like a month there where i just like. could barely function #and for a while it just felt like i was barely barely clinging onto life at all and idk if i’d been able to make it without rama (<333) #but then when i felt like i’d rly hit my own personal rock bottom i just like. suddenly got a grip on myself? #and now i’ve been taking care of myself and i’ve been doing my hobbies and i’ve been.. happier #and it feels so good. instead of being anxious abt everything i’ve been trusting people #instead of rotting away i’ve been doing things! sewing and cleaning and writing etc #it feels nice <3 #arambles #sorry bit of a personal post but i’ve just rly wanted to get it out there

[kirbyliker12]

This is the deepest I can delve into how I view them n their implications through imagery before it bcomes incomprehensibl 😙😙😙😙maybe I’ll do a tiny bit of elaborating in tags idk(this was mostly an excuse to practice drawing dranzas head)

#kirbyliker12png #dark taranza #taranza #Susie haltmann #parallel susie #man there was Barely any info on dark taranza🥸poor guy I miss him(not really) #nyway I have no idea on how da dark mirror works (nobody does really) #I don’t even know what the mirror even DOES #why does he look so similar to magolor soul they can’t just do that #is dtaranza like. taranza if nobody was there 2 help him n if he just turned to a path of loneliness for what he wants #(taranza voice) wow if I wasn’t surrounded by the beauty of nature n friendship I’d probably destroy the world to bring joronia back😋😋 #IDK ik it doesn’t make much sense but😏I love taranza having world ending potential #not in terms of ‘I’ll use this EVIL artifact n it’ll use me’ but in’wow dis guy is so op good thing he’s on your side ahaha’ #also I reely lauv how her dads demise is entirely suzys fault #the Japanese version specifically says she wanted to ‘make him pay’ #so she really did intentionally want him to get a bit hurt #she’s also more emotionally vulnerable in the aftermath instead of going ‘ermmm this wasn’t calculated🤓what a nuisance!’ #instead of taranza where it’s more like unlucky Suzy is entirely the problem and she knows it #oh yeah parallel Suzys hm well it’s kinda endearing how she still treasures her dad #even though the Suzys ditched their pin #I don’t think original Suzy has a likeable personality n that she’s aware of it but can’t do anything to change it #AGH it’s l8🥸why do I always post at night anyway #oh man can’t wait for da morning where I find how messy these thoughts are

[subparticlesupercollider]

there’s something so alluring about the idea of living in a perpetual horror movie to me. like a time loop. specifically a paranormal one where you could never make it out alive. in the same sense of “heaven is a place where nothing really happens” (from the talking heads song Heaven), being trapped in a story where there’s only one ending and you suffer through whatever horrors are laid out for you (but they are laid out exactly as they are and always will be, and they are laid out for YOU) sounds like. morbidly peaceful. no need to worry what happens next, you already know. and you’ve done it a hundred times. of course you’re in pain but it’s intimately familiar and maybe you don’t even register your suffering anymore. and you’re not preoccupied by your performance in this dance anymore either— it feels like whatever you do, the same events occur, but you’re an actor in a story and you never had free will to begin with. anyways. it just sounds kind of nice 👍

#^voice of a guy who would be fine if he was trapped in a time loop bc he puts so much value and emphasis into the mundane #cro talks #it’s late but i’ve been thinking about this for like a week now. am i insane or is this like. even mildly relatable #also to expand on that talking heads lyrics— it just makes me sad to think about. the idea of a perfect place being completely uneventful— #and just the same few experiences over and over again exactly the same? i mean like. true. tbh #sad not in the sense that i’d hate that if it happened to me but overcome with jealousy and desperation #this is where arguments of free will vs predetermination really get to me. i DO believe in free will. but is it so bad to wish for — #predetermination instead? take your hands off the wheel and do whatever you want. everything will happen as it always would have. #anyways #feeling normal about this. feeling regular #please let me know if this sounds crazy i’d like to know. not that i care i’m just curious #horror

[flock-talk]

Didn’t hold a grudge 🙌 a little bit nervous if my hands loom over him but not too much. Last time I had to cut his nails was when he first came home almost a year ago so I was expecting a much more dramatic response but he’s bouncing back very well

#toto #the post stress sleepy grinds #hopefully next year we can do more cooper care stuff #this year has been all trust building and he’s so sensitive about touch I didn’t want to push it #but I’d like to not have to restrain him for trims again #he did really well and opted in to the restraint #I didn’t have to hold him tightly at all #his head was basically free coulda bit me if he wanted to #had one moment where he wanted to shuffle out of the hand #but I had one nail left so I opted to just quickly get it done #instead of letting him out and resetting the grip again

[quibbs126]

I think it would be neat if we had a story in where like, the ninja all get separated into different places (my best excuse currently is the Merge), and Lloyd ends up somewhere now powerless and all alone, and the only thing that he could rely on to survive and fight is his Oni form, and so he has this journey where he has to rely on his Oni form, and throughout this journey he grows to accept it

I don’t think I worded it the best, but basically what I’m getting at is Lloyd being forced to acknowledge his Oni form, and thus his heritage, instead of rejecting it in favor of his dragon side (edit: okay they don’t really mention him being part dragon ever, but I mean that he only deals with the good side, always rejecting his Oni side), and through this learning to accept it, and likely control it

(Also I think it would be cool to see him use his Oni form after this journey, and while it’s not his main form of attack, he’d use it somewhat regularly and has far more control over it than just be a raging beast. I mean, maybe he doesn’t talk in that form and it is still generally destructive, but he can go in and out of it whenever he wants and won’t attack his friends)

#I dunno but it kind of irks me how Ninjago in general talks about there being a balance #but every time they reject the evil side in favor of total good #like the Oni and Dragons are meant to be a balance #but the Dragons are pretty much always cast as objectively good while the Oni are objectively evil #(with the exception of Mystake but the show doesn’t really acknowledge her) #and Crystalized kind of has Lloyd just ignoring the problem instead of dealing with it #when it comes to his heritage I mean #I want him to learn to accept it #I’d also accept a time skip where Lloyd uses his Oni form and has made peace with it offscreen #and then later on we could see how this happened #but Dragons Rising doesn’t seem to be going that route #this was more in my head before the new trailers came out #but I still thought it was neat #ninjago #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #random stuff

[thisisallthehattersfault]

Yes yes body horror and Becoming The Monster as in Losing Oneself and the grotesqueries of transgression, of ill-fitting skin stretched too-tight over bones that feel like they don’t belong to you anymore — but what about body horror as metamorphoses? What about Becoming The Monster as in Embracing The Shadow? What about Wen Ning who has never felt more himself when he was alive than he does now that he’s dead?

He is a MASTERPIECE, the greatest work of the greatest demonic cultivator of all time! His life was characterized by fear and uncertainty and loneliness and it was only in death that he learned how strong he really was, how capable, how resilient. If he had been the Ghost General during the war, or right after it, would the Dafan Wen have still died?

I just want Wen Ning to settle into the whole being undead thing and decide that he’s pretty okay with it actually! There’s so little left for him to fear, and the few things he does find actively unpleasant are all things that Wei Gongzi can probably fix if he takes some time to work on it. Wen Ning doesn’t like asking people for things, most certainly not for his own sake, but at the same time… Wei Wuxian, as an inventor, would want to know how his master work is faring, right? He’s never completely satisfied with anything he makes, always tweaking and tinkering, and he does keep Asking of Wen Ning needs anything, so…

I dunno where I’m really going with this but I think it’d be interesting to explore an AU where maybe Wen Ning gets to be lowkey kind of excited that he’s now an unkillable hyperbadass literally powered by all the rage he suppressed for so many years AND he gets to have that while also maintaining his cognizance and his genuine desire to help other people. Wen Qing shielded him from as much as she could but the results of that were Wen Ning feeling like he was quietly suffocating under the weight of his sister’s controlling brand of overprotectiveness — he loves her and appreciates everything she did for him but god was she good at making him feel small and helpless — and it didn’t even work because life under Wen Rohan was such constant stress that by the time Lotus Pier was burned Wen Ning was damn near numb to it. Now? Wen Ning only answers to one master. A master who Knows How To Utilize Him. A master who respects and cares for him as a person without trying to smother him! Wen Ning takes quiet pride in his existence as Wei Wuxian’s magnum opus and consequently in his ability to actually function as his General (personal bodyguard, second in command, right hand man!) he is the living (kinda) embodiment of both his family’s drive to survive and protect each other and his master’s brilliance and ingenuity.

I just think it would be cool! I just think it would be cool.

#wen ning #wen qionglin #the ghost general #mdzs #the untamed #ningxian #kinda if you squint #if I did an au like this #I’d want it to be a Wei sect au maybe #or otherwise one where the dafan wen survive #because I do think the circumstances surrounding the whole Becoming A Zombie thing #would have a big impact on his reaction to Becoming A Zombie #which is understandable! #but I love him and I want him to feel safe and happy in his own body #and while yeah you could do that by just like #Not having him be turned into a sentient fierce corpse #what if instead you did that specifically by turning him into a sentient fierce corpse #some teeth yearn for ripping!! #canines growing sharp out of black dog gums #Wen Ning has been been swallowing down the urge to tear people apart with his bare hands for years #now those hands are strong and marble-pale and capped with elegant little claws #and really who is he to look a gift horse in the mouth?

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

Just listened to Bayo3’s Moonlight Serenade and it just hit me again how absolutely furious I am about this game. Waiting 5 years since the announcement and then 2 further years before I could finally play it just to be met by that was… I don’t even have words for it.

And the worst part is - I was having so much fun playing it! Sure, it wasn’t on the level of Bayo1 or Bayo2, but it was still a delight to play! I loved the new designs, I loved the new weapons, I loved the music, I loved the new flow of combat, I genuinely had such a great time! Alright, the writing wasn’t exceptional, but the idea of parallel universes was still fun to explore - and I’m not fond of the enemies’ design in general, but I had a blast fighting them once I figured them out, and I appreciate the fact that they tried to do something different once again (after fighting angels in Bayo1 and demons in Bayo2). I even loved Jeanne’s little spy levels!! They were so cool and charming and so much fun to play through!

And I liked Viola! The narrative really didn’t do her justice but she was still such an endearing character! Her fighting sections were different but still enjoyable, and I enjoyed everything about Cheshire, which made her levels even better.

And I just - to take all that potential, all that joy, and squander it so completely and maliciously right at the end was just… devastating to me. I know Bayonetta isn’t made for the girls and the gays, but that’s not even the point - I would’ve at least enjoyed a Cereza/Luka ending if it had been written properly! Instead they decided to assassinate the characters we all knew and loved, spit on all the established lore and themes of the previous games, stomp on all the newly introduced characters, and all to shoehorn in a fated-lovers narrative that doesn’t even work on its own, without taking into account everything that contradicts it in the previous instalments.

And as if that’s not enough, they forced it into the most depressing, most nonsensical, most malicious finale I have ever witnessed. Why are you punishing me for winning the fights? Where is the reward for getting to the end? I was waiting at the edge of my seat for the entire game to see how Cereza would turn the situation around, how she’d overcome the impossible odds and come out dancing on her enemies, and instead they told me no, she saves almost no-one, she dies a pointless death she could’ve easily avoided so we can get a) the stupidest romance ever seen and b) a new protagonist that we spent no time developing, and nothing you did in this game had any meaning at all, fuck you.

Sorry for the rant, but I’m just… I’m so disappointed. I really really wanted to like this game and instead the finale ruined the whole experience for me. I literally sat in silence as the final scene and credits rolled out because I just couldn’t fathom what I was watching. How do you take such a great cast of beloved characters and decide that this is what you want to do with them? With a 5-year development time, no less? They deserved better, Cereza especially deserved better, and we all deserved so much better.

#I’m sorry but I just. i can’t deal #like. this is bayonetta!!! her whole thing is that she gets into impossible situations and comes out on top with a smile on her face!! #she literally fought GODS in the first two games and WON!!! #I’d understand if they didn’t want to make any more games. I’d get it! I’d even appreciate it! #but give her a proper conclusion instead of… whatever this was #they literally scrapped everything that made her work as a character #wrote the hollowest personality imaginable #and slapped it into cereza’s walking corpse #and did the same for jeanne and luka #where are my competent confident witches? where’s my silly comic relief boy with a lot of heart and even more luck?? #when jeanne and the bayos reappeared during the final fight I remember being like ‘oh there we go! they werent really gone!’ #‘this is when the narrative turns around finally!’ #but NO #they were just ghosts and bayo gets obliterated by gomorrah instead. #i just… why. just why. don’t make the game if you hate everything about it just saying #idk if theres an anti-bayo3 tag #if there is lmk and i’ll add it #i dont want to spread any hate but I’m just so disappointed still

[tea-cat-arts]

Fu Hua and Senti are the only characters that should be allowed to interact with Kevin actually

#honkai impact #kevin kaslana #fu hua #herrscher of sentience #nah cuz they’re the only ones that actually have a dynamic with Kevin #there’s so much history and mutual understanding between Fu Hua and Kevin it’s tragic when they fight #and then theirs Senti who has all of Fu Hua’s memories #when Senti shit talks him it’s usually an intentional bluff or something that’s actually true #so it feels like an actual character interaction instead of people just pulling comments about Kevin out of their asses #for an actual rewrite I’d want Kevin to have an actual dynamic with the main trio #like maybe a sort of rivalry between Kevin and Bronya #where Bronya is frustrated with Kevin repeatedly undercutting her victories #and maybe have Bronya steal Kevin’s piece of Finality directly from him to obtain HoTr form #and maybe have Mei slowly realizing she and Kevin are incredibly similar- each giving up everything they are for a loved one- via ER/EE #and as she finds redemption for herself she decides it’s something she wants to extend to Kevin as well #though this storyline would rely on Mei actually doing something bad as part of World Serpent #for Kiana I think she should’ve been the one to interact with Stigma space Kevin #giving her a direct image of the person he could’ve been if he was given the love and support he needs #idk why I always revert to Mei representing the past Bronya representing the present and Kiana representing the future in my rewrites #but ya- as things stand in canon- Fu Hua and Senti are the only two with any right to judge Kevin

[crenna]

so many things i want to do and so little time and energy 💖

#lili’s rambles #this is just a busy season in my life and it will pass #what i need to do now it rest instead of stressing about all the things i wish i could be and do 💕 #if you can relate my wish is that you will get to where you want to be & have the time and energy to do so 🫶 #there are so many things i’d love to do with this blog but it’s not realistic for me to get to them now #so those who are here rn: thank you for sticking around 💖 #for now i am hoping to reblog content i enjoy & maybe you will too and also share some thoughts and gentle encouragement 💖💕 #and there will be a day when i will be able to create more!!

[juno-infernal]

okay nm i took half an adderall, put on my fluffy black bathrobe, switched the music to goth and new wave bops and now the world is full of beautiful possibility again

#m #still slightly insane. because the moisturizer is not found #and because i am facing the mortifying ordeal of being emotionally invested in a human being. #but the doom spiral is averted. false alarm. #i am going to hang up some of the MANY paintings/posters/misc art pieces i own soon & this is exciting #i have some really neat stuff #and i am trying not to be so sad #about the fact that i thought (as i collected furniture and paintings and dishes etc) #that by now i’d have a home of my own. instead of so many hopes languishing in boxes. #there’s a lot i should just get rid of tbh. it would make things easier. #but i don’t want to completely abandon my hope for a future #where for example i have a use for the silverware my great (x3) aunt left me when she died #or shelf space enough for my weird trinkets. #or my 1 million boxes of books. #it’s… not likely. but i don’t know if i can take giving up entirely yet.