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ijuststareatstuffhereok89 · 27 days

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"Time & the Trickster"

A Loki/Doctor Who crossover

Chapter 11: London

While you cling to the slightest hope that you and Loki have a future together, the end of time becomes increasing imminent as you finally reach England and make a final dash to The Doctor.

CHAPTER WARNING (18+): smut-adjacency toward the end of the first block of text (mentions of fingering, grinding, erections, etc.)

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MASTERLIST

Margaret gave you a large basket of food to take with you, along with three large bottles of red wine. Once she saw you down to the docks, you took advantage of the last few hours of greenish daylight to navigate around the rocky waters that had stranded you in the first place, finally making your way out to the open, safe ocean by dusk.

Shane and Carrie remained at the helm for the evening. You, Loki, and Joey all sat on the bed down below, a bottle of wine for each of you. Under the dim light from the swinging bulb, you spent half of the night discussing possible ways to rescue Loki from his fate.

“I will die on the hill that your blonde little other half needs to pay the piper,” you grunted bitterly, sipping at your nearly-empty bottle. The wine was sloshing about in your skull, but the pleasant airheadedness didn’t completely obscure your senses yet. It just made your inhibitions subside. You nuzzled yourself under Loki’s arm, as close to being at peace as you were going to be, for now.

He rubbed your shoulder with the hand he’d had draped over it. “I know you feel that way. Please understand that it’s more complicated than that.”

“No,” you sighed with a yawn, “I don’t think it is.”

Joey nodded. “I gotta go with her on this one. We need to get her to go to your place. It’s our best move, and it’s frankly the right one.”

“You may think you know her from what you’ve seen in the show,” Loki tried to explain, “but one thing they didn’t emphasize enough was just how lethal Sylvie is. Self-preservation is her biggest priority, and anyone who stands in the way of what she is after will die.”

“If she’s so single-minded, why not trick her?” you suggested. “It’s easy to trip up someone when they’re so obsessed with something else.”

“Because she’s a Loki,” Loki reminded you. “Her intelligence matches mine, she could probably preempt my every play.”

You finished off the bottle in your hands and reached over to place it on the bedside table before rolling back under Loki’s arm. “She’s not quite the same as you,” you added. “Is there a way we can convince her that she will be seen as a hero if she does it?”

Loki shook his head. “She doesn’t want that, remember?”

“Oh right, MacSylvie wants to get back to the deep fryers,” Joey scoffed. It was still odd to you that someone of her supposed power would strive for a life where she would spend her days soaking up cholesterol through osmosis and go home to reruns of Family Guy every night. “Girl must be nuts. I think I’d prefer being alone at the end of time.”

“Nothing will give her more time to be alone with her inner monologue than the throne of timelines,” you said, the wine still catching up to you. Loki’s touch was suddenly making you sensitive. You wished Joey would leave.

“So,” Loki took a deep breath, going over everything you’d been discussing for the past several hours, “It’s possible my stone will gain some of its powers back once it’s within proximity to The Doctor’s time ship. This means that if we can power up his ship. he can take us back to the TVA, we get her to make her move in my place, and--”

“--what about lying?” you interjected. “We make it look like it wouldn’t work if it were you! Then she’ll have no choice.”

Joey smiled. “I thought you were supposed to be good at that, Lokes!”

Loki shrugged. “I still don't know if she’ll buy it. I have ventured about with her, she is clever.”

“Sometimes, when it’s down to the wire, choices have to be made in the moment,” you said. “She’s rash, quick, and reactionary. It could work, especially the more things collapse around us.”

“I think this timeline is behind the TVA,” added Loki. “Everything was already reaching a critical point when I threw the stone, and when I landed here, things hadn’t yet begun to fall apart.”

“So, we pretend to kill you in front of Sylvie when we get The Doctor to give us a lift to the TVA,” Joey mused. “You do tend to fake-die a lot, you know. No reason the rest of South Park won’t buy it if Kenny dies again.”

Loki knitted his eyebrow in confusion. “Let’s do it,” you said. “What does she know about my world?”

Loki thought for a moment. “There’s no reason to think she’d know anything more than I did when I first arrived.”

“Then she won’t know how a sonic screwdriver works,” you suggested. “Let’s get The Doctor to help us fake her out when we get to the TVA. I bet he’s the type to go along, right Joe? You’d know.”

“We can regroup with The Doctor and tell him everything,” said Joey. “But I think we’ve got this. Sis?”

You smiled. “Okay. Loki?”

Loki twisted his lip. He was about to betray Sylvie the moment he gave his word. Something about this felt wrong to him. But then again, something about her slipping off into a happily ever after while he took her sins upon himself also felt wrong. Loki had to be honest with himself, the prospect of being allowed to continue living, perhaps going off with Mobius on more adventures…it was starting to feel like a great prize at the end of the most dangerous game he’d ever played.

“Okay,” he consented. “We can fake one of you killing me. Then I’ll hide until Sylvie reaches the throne.”

You felt warm and drunk, smiling with deep satisfaction at the confirmation of Loki choosing you over her. A part of you had been worried that the connection between them had been too deep.

“Well, in that case,” Joey said, standing up and heading over to the bunk he’d taken during the first half of the trip, “I’m getting a few hours before taking over and letting the others sleep.”

“Sleep well, Joey,” said Loki.

“G’night, bro,” you yawned again.

Once Joey pulled the curtain around his bunk, you took off your jeans and crawled under the bedsheets in your t-shirt and underwear. Loki unbuttoned his shirt and let his old, dirty slacks fall to his ankles before crawling in beside you. You rolled onto your side away from him, which he responded to by tucking his chest against your back, spooning around you, and wrapping his long arms around your waist. He felt so good. For a frost giant, it was a bit odd to you that his body heat warmed you faster than a heated blanket. Not that you complained.

You smiled and moaned as you felt the erection dig into the small of your back, just above your ass. Loki was rhythmically, slowly grinding against you.

“Someone’s being a bit presumptuous,” you whispered sarcastically. “You open your legs for the God of Mischief one time…”

“You want me to stop?” Loki asked with sincerity.

“I want you to put your hand here,” you answered, taking his right hand and moving it under the hem of your shirt, letting his fingers find your puckered nipple. You allowed him to play with you in lusty silence, your pants syncopating off one another as you both began to rock your hips back and forth. You were tempted to guide his hand between your legs to let him fiddle with your clit, but you weren’t sure if you could control the moans of pleasure he could draw from you by doing that, and Joey was still only about fifteen feet away.

“You know, I don’t think Disney would appreciate you flaunting this more sexual side of yourself, Sir,” you giggled.

“Which shows how much they know. I’ve had many carnal exploits in my time.”

You took a moment to consider whether or not you wanted to ask the question that had been burned into your mind for a while now.

“Loki? Did you love her?”

A pause. “Sylvie?”

“Yeah.”

Loki took your breast fully into his hand, and he squeezed it twice before settling his palm there. His large, muscular hands were firm with you.

“No,” he began, but before you could express any relief, he amended his statement, “Not in the way you fear. Don’t worry, dove. But, I suppose my heart went out to her, with her violent past.”

“You kissed her in the show. Did you really?”

“Yes,” he sighed woefully. “I wouldn’t read too far into it. Heat of the moment, you know. In the midst of battle, you can’t tell the difference between adrenaline and--”

“--I think I understand,” you replied, not as upset as you thought you would be. “Do you think you’ll be able to stand up to her when the time comes? I can see where it might be a lot to ask.”

“Yes,” he replied. “Maybe I should look at it as finally closing the door on one part of my personality forever, ready to move on from things like youthful revenge and angry adventures.”

“That sounds like no fun,” you joked.

He chuckled and nipped on your earlobe. Loki’s finger slipped up and over your chest to where your tarot pendant hung. He began carelessly fiddling with it. Between the wine, the gentle rocking of the boat, and Loki’s tender touch, you felt yourself beginning to drift off. About three minutes of silence went by, and you began to hear the low sound of Loki’s voice, slowly humming a lullaby as he continued to lightly pet you.

“What song is that?” you asked quietly.

“An old Asgardian lullaby,” Loki answered, “In places where seidr functions, it contains magic within the melody that induces a light, peaceful sleep.”

His delightful melody was the final pillow on your bed, and you used the last of your energy to pose one final thought: “Maybe…after you’ve been back a while and everything has calmed down…you could come looking for me.”

“I--Y/N--”

“--we’ve both agreed to re-write the story,” you interrupted his attempt to hesitate. “We might have a chance at a happy ending for ourselves. You could use that stone to find your way back to me someday, don't you think?”

Loki allowed himself one more pleasurable thrust against your back even as you slipped into comfortable unconsciousness. He let his finger trace a few more inches over your cheek before tightening his embrace around your waist, holding you closer to him as if you were his teddy bear.

“Maybe I could,” Loki said with a smile no one could see, in a whisper no one could hear as he too slipped away. “I think…maybe we could.”

You were startled awake by Shane, who threw a jacket at Joey and shouted, “Everyone! You have to get up and see this!”

You were jerked from the most amazing dream of your life, still wrapped in Loki’s arms. He’d wrapped a leg over your hip and was draped over you in a highly suggestive position. Luckily, Shane didn’t seem to care. He shook himself awake with an irritable grunt. “What the hell?”

“Jesus, Shane, it’s like 8am, we’ve only been asleep for four hours!” Joey complained.

Shane ignored your bitching, insisting you all meet on deck in five minutes.

You could tell through the porthole that the sky was still green, and only brighter than it had been the day before. All three of you rushed to dress, and you barely stumbled onto the deck realizing that you still felt a little drunk from the wine you'd finished off only a few hours ago.

“Ah!” Loki winced, falling against the railing on the stairs as you made your way tipside. You were right behind him, and positioned yourself to catch him at a moment’s notice.

“Loki? Are you okay?” you shouted, afraid for him.

“I feel ill,” he said quickly. “Something feels incredibly wrong.”

You helped Loki onto the deck and sat him down in an Adirondack chair. He looked pale and dizzy. “I’ll get you some wat--”

You cut yourself off as you saw the large green landmass passing by on your left. “Oh, is that the far side of Iceland?”

Shane shook his head, confused. “No, that’s not. According to our equipment…that’s the southern coast of Ireland.”

“That’s impossible! We’ve been at sea for twelve hours,” you answered. “We shouldn’t even be past--”

“--we know!” Shane shouted in his panic.

Loki was beginning to hyperventilate, as if he’d run a mile before taking a seat. “It’s time,” he said. “We’ve got no time. Reality is bending and warping the planet now!”

“People could die, there could be massive earthquakes!” you gasped.

“If someone doesn’t save the timelines within the next twenty-four to thirty hours, everything is lost,” Loki predicted, using his intuition to make his guess.

“That soon?” you asked, almost yelling.

Loki nodded and grabbed your face, kissing you deeply. “I’m afraid so. We’re in the reality farthest from the TVA and the Citadel, and we’re already seeing matter fold in on itself!”

“We could make landfall in Southampton as soon as lunchtime,” shouted Carrie from the helm. “What the fuck?”

“It's for the best,” Loki groaned. “This must be why I feel sick.”

You looked at Joey with concern. He bit his lip, looking around nervously. “This is getting too weird, even for me, Sis!”

When you set sail weeks ago, you’d expressed some fear about making berth in Southampton when one of your companions had no ID papers. However, it was evident before you even docked that it wouldn’t have mattered, because no one around you would have bothered to notice. Everyone was running about, panic heightened at the changing planet, the green summer sky, and the other ways in which reality was shifting. You wouldn’t have considered it rioting, but people were definitely scrambling at a moderate level..

Your heart was humming as you grabbed Loki’s hand, disembarking without letting go of him. He laced his fingers in between yours, and you felt immediately safer. The moment Loki’s foot touched soil, his pocket illuminated to a bright green that even his leather jacket tried about his hips couldn’t fully conceal.

“Norns, I can feel it through the material!” he whispered to you.

Carrie shook your hand as the three of you began to discuss finding your way to London. “Shane’s staying with the boat,” she said, “But whoever the hell you are: good luck, and don’t ever ask us to do this again.”

As she left you there on the pier, Joey took out his cracked phone. “If we get a car, we can make it in about two hours.”

“Okay,” you said with sarcastic cheer, “Let’s just walk into the Jolly Ol’ U-Haul with our wallets full of pounds and totally-British driver’s licenses!”

“Already, genius, what do you suggest we do?” Joey sneered irritably.

“I don’t know…get a bus?”

“Where and how?” asked Joey.

You grunted, annoyed. “Well, where and how are we going to rent a car in England? As if you’d even know how to drive one!”

Loki was looking back and forth between you as if you were volleying at a tennis match instead of bickering back and forth. You glanced at him and instantly knew you were going to los the argument.

“Fine, Loki, we’ll steal a fucking car,” you rolled your eyes, your reaction dripping with annoyance.

He smiled and nodded. “You know me, Y/N.”

So you committed grand theft auto for the first (and only) time.. It was incredibly simple, as no one gave a rat’s ass about anything other than the sky, the shifting continents, and whatever that meant would come next.

It took you a lot longer to drive into London than you expected. It was because your brother was driving like a moron all over the wrong side of the road, not used to the British car’s inverted dashboard and wheel. He kept stopping, starting, turning into the wrong lanes, and misreading speed limit signs. It was like riding in the Cash Cab if the host were on cocaine.

“You know,” Loki said, his face turning almost as green as the stone in his pocket, “I don’t believe I was in any more danger hanging off of the Bifrost than I am right now!”

As the skyline of London first appeared over the horizon, you sighed. “So, let’s try and get over to Regent’s Park. That’s where The Doctor was allegedly last sighted.”

“How will we know he’s there? What if he isn’t?” asked Joey. “This is one of the biggest cities in the world! We could spend our whole lives here and never find him!”

“This will certainly tell us,” Loki pulled the time stone out of his pocket. It was now wrapped in heat-resistant cloth, pulsing so brightly it could have illuminated a dark room by itself. “I get the feeling that if it doesn’t outright explode upon our entering range, it will still go completely mad.”

Getting anywhere within London’s city limits was next to impossible. Traffic was backed up, drivers were irritable, pedestrians were distracted. The environment was just this side of chaotic. There was something about the tension that still hung in the air that told you the worst was yet to come if this wasn’t solved immediately.

Eventually, you spotted another vehicle that didn’t belong in this world: a 1980’s Delorean fitted with an odd white device on the top, conspicuously labeled “Mr. Fusion.”

“Oh shit, Joey, can you see that?” you pointed urgently. “It must be the Time Traveler’s Convention this weekend.”

“That ain’t good,” he replied. “The more familiar faces we see--”

“--we need to get to the park,” Loki interjected. “Now.”

“We’re half a mile away,” Joey mentioned, tapping the car’s built-in GPS. “You can run and be there in a few minutes.”

“What about you?” you asked, panic bubbling in your brain.

“I’ll find a fire zone to park in or something, you and Loki just GO!” Joey insisted, waving his arms as if to dismiss you.

“It’s WORKING!” The Doctor yelled in excitement. The TARDIS was all but fully functional, the lights now working at full capacity (if not with a green tint). “Damn, the only thing still not connecting is the time vortex itself.”

“The what?” asked Sylvie, on high alert and frequently looking toward the door.

“The time vortex. It’s what moves the TARDIS through time. She’s still not finding it…it’s like having a car without gas in it, or a computer router without internet, Sylvie. But we’re getting close!” The Doctor began circling the console like an Olympic sprinter.

“Does that mean Loki’s--”

“Oh, stop thinking about Loki for five minutes, Sylvie, and hold this a moment!” he said as he held out a frayed wire, sparks flying from the end. Sylvie didn’t move toward it.

The Doctor stopped, looking at Sylvie with renewed interest.

“What?” Sylvie asked, looking innocent.

The Doctor’s eyes narrowed with a slightest hint of suspicion. “You look anxious.”

She shrugged, putting her hand in her pocket, toying with the stone she kept there. “World’s ending, I’m out of my timeline. Why shouldn’t I be anxious?”

He decided not to pursue the matter further. There were more important things to worry about, like getting the TARDIS off of this planet before it collapsed entirely.

Hand-in-hand, you and Loki darted across the London streets at breakneck speed, able to weave in and out of the other people on the streets without any of them identifying Loki.

You always hated running. Your chest felt as if it was on fire. Your breaths were shallow and fast, and they were drying out the back of your throat. You felt a slight pull on your arm. Of course the long-legged Asgardian would have a naturally quicker pace!

“Where the hell did he say it was?” you gasped. Joey had given you vague directions based on what the car’s GPS had told him, but in the heated urgency of the moment, most of his instructions went in one ear and out the other.

“Is that it?” Loki said, stopping short to point at a cluster of trees peeking out from an alleyway that led to the next street over.

“YES!” you shouted, grabbing his hand again and yanking him along.

Sylvie wasn’t quite sure why her hair was standing on end. She refused to have her back to the door.

He’s here!

“He’s there!” you shouted, pointing across the green with Loki still attached to your hand.

“Ow! Norns!” Loki swore, even the heat-resistant handkerchief was beginning to smolder in his pocket.

You grinned as you caught your breath. “That must be it!”

“This must be it!” The Doctor said, his voice wavering just a little. He was so wrapped up in the functioning parts of his ship that he didn’t notice Sylvie ducking under the stairs to hide.

“I feel it, Sylvie! Finally, we’re going to get out of here! Are you ready?”

“Are you ready?” Loki asked.

You were standing at the threshold of one of the most iconic structures in pop culture. You could tell from the bright flashing green lights through the window that something was going down inside.

You looked up at him with a worried smile, your chest still heaving from the sudden, intense exercise. He responded by kissing you one more time. If this was going to be your last kiss with Loki, you wanted t drink every flavor from his lips and savor his taste while you could.

Sadly, he pulled away before you could even appreciate the significance, and he raised a fist to the door. “Shall we?”

You nodded and also raised a fist. “Together?”

“Always together.”

You both knocked three times in sync. The flashing green light became steady within. After a pause, both of you repeated your tandem knock.

After another pause, the doors opened.

@crashingwavesofeuphoria @kkdvkyya @red-shirt-mania @misschris1412 @salvinaa @marygoddessofmischief @spiderstyles04 @fireflymoonwitch @mochie85 @loz-3 @lcolumbia1988 @lokilurker @eleniblue @gruftiela @starkzdaughter @mrsbarnes-avenger @thedistractedagglomeration @km-ffluv @lokisgoodgirl @holdmytesseract @itsthattimedarling @wolfsmom1 @scully2u @shinisenko @mischief2sarawr @ririsutty73 @lulubelle814 @meg81589 @gloriuspurposeposts @theonetruepotato87 @linllewellyn @wistfulclueless @etherealkistar @tinydancer40 @hardtravelerwizard-blog @fangirlofmanysstuff @krabog @soulpiercing @archivelaurarps @banjo-bastard

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yelenasdiary · 1 year

Note

Hi, just resending a request idea I had for Florence where the reader has their tonsils removed and Florence is taking care of them, and also uses it as an opportunity to try some new Cooking with Flo recipes that the reader could eat while they are recovering. Soup, ice cream, etc. Florence is constantly reminding the reader not to speak, and gives them a white board to communicate, but the reader just uses it to draw little doodles for Florence. 🥰😅

Sweet Honeycomb

Pairing: Florence Pugh x Reader

Summary: Florence takes care of you after you’ve had your tonsils removed, even doing a little special cooking with Flo to make you smile.

Fluff | No Warnings | 1.1K |

AC: I decided to combine two requests that are similar, I hope that’s okay!! Xx

Florence sat by your bedside as you began to wake up from the anesthesia, she smiled softly at your tired state before she buzzed for a nurse to come check on you. A few hours ago, you had your tonsils removed. An hour's surgery and a few hours rest in hospital before the nurses and doctors were confident to send you home. Flo was given a list of things that you could eat, things to avoid doing and a script for pain killers that were to be taken when necessary.

You slept in the car on the way home, your body unable to stay awake for any more than 30 minutes as the anesthesia began to wear off. Once home, Florence made sure you were comfy in bed before she got you bottled water and your pain killers within arm's reach.

"Get some rest darling, I'm just going to be downstairs if you need anything" Florence smiled softly once more before placing a kiss on your forehead.

"Th-"

"Uh, Uh darling. No talking, you heard the doctors" she interrupted you, "I got you a mini white board for this reason, I'll go get it" she added before leaving the room for a few moments. Florence placed the small whiteboard with colored markers next to you, "if you need to talk, just write it down, okay?" she looked at you as you nodded slightly before grabbing the whiteboard and the blue marker.

"Thank you, baby" you wrote down then turned to it to face Florence. "You're welcome my love" she smiled, "get some rest".

While you caught up on some rest, Florence decided to try her luck and cook some of the foods you'd be able to eat. She knew how much you loved honeycomb ice cream but knew you wouldn't be able to eat it due to the honeycomb pieces throughout the ice cream, so, she decided to make her own homemade ice cream for you! Using honeycomb syrup for that flavor you loved so much. Of course, she was doing all this while keeping herself company with a special Cooking with Flo! She explained why and what she was making and even to her fan's surprise, she went live instead of using her stories for the popular trend.

"While the ice cream is doing its thing, let's make some mashed sweet potato and pumpkin! I'm going to use the leftover pumpkin that we didn't use in the roast dinner we had a few nights ago and of course, there three beauties were grown in my own garden!" She held up the 3 sweet potatoes to the camera with a proud smile on her face before she started to peel the skin.

You could hear Florence talking to herself downstairs and instantly knew she was doing another Cooking with Flo. You grabbed your trusty whiteboard and blue marker before getting out of bed and making your way downstairs. "Hi honey, you're awake!" Florence looked up and smiled at you, "I was just making you some mashed sweet potato and pumpkin for dinner" she added as she chopped up the pumpkin.

"That sounds so good! Do we still have any yoghurt left?" your message on the whiteboard read. "We should, I'll get some for you" Florence smiled as she finished up with the pumpkin.

----

The rest of the afternoon you spent watching Florence cook the mashed sweet potato and the ice cream which you couldn't wait to dive into! "Awh! You gave Billie a little tutu!!" Flo coo'd at your little doodles of Billie. As much as Florence tried to keep her focus on cooking and giving her viewers some attention, it was hard for her to ignore you and how cute you looked sitting behind her phone unable to speak. Anytime you tried to speak she would hush you and point to the whiteboard as a reminder.

"Baby, come say Hi to all these jammy, jammy tarts!" Flo looked up at you as she checked the ice cream. It wasn't often that fans would see the two of you together but always loved it when you were. You grabbed your whiteboard and wrote "Hello" with pretty little doodles before walking in front of the camera and smiling as you showed the viewers your little greeting. The comment section went crazy with so many comments causing you to chuckle.

"Guys!! Don't make my baby laugh, they are meant to make as little noise as possible" Florence playfully shook her head at the camera as she came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your waist. "You're stealing the show darling" she added with a kiss on your cheek as you smiled softly and lent into her hold as you wrote on the whiteboard again.

"I love you, thank you for looking after me honey!" you wrote. Florence smiled instantly, "I love you too my darling" she replied and kissed your cheek once again. The comments on the live were blowing up as Florence kept you in her arms and began to sway left to right slightly as you both read the comments you could. You draw more little drawings on the whiteboard which leads to Flo into a laughing fit. You did your best not to laugh but a few chuckles slipped out.

After a few more moments Florence said her goodbyes to her viewers before shutting off the live stream and putting her phone in her pocket. "Are you hungry my love?" she asked you as she grabbed two bowls from the cupboard. You nodded with a pout before writing another message on your board.

"How much longer do I have to be mute for?"

Florence chuckled, "honey, it's hasn't even been a day. We'll see how you're feeling in the morning, but the doctor said you might sound a little different for at least 2-4 weeks" she replied while she served you a bowl of the mashed sweet potato and pumpkin that was mashed to zero lumps so it would be smooth enough for you to eat. You frowned at the news, "don't worry my love, it'll be fine. We'll worry about tomorrow when it comes but for now, let's go watch some TV and cuddle" she smiled as she handed you your bowl.

Even though you hated that you couldn't speak right now, you were so thankful for Florence and how she was there for you. The food was so good! It gave you no pain at all and the ice cream was even better, you had two bowls of ice cream after you were able to convince Flo that the coldness of the ice cream was a relief on your throat.

"It's going to be a long 2 weeks but I'm glad I get to spend it with you" you wrote on the white board and showed your girlfriend. "You're adorable baby, come here!" she opened her arms wide for you to crash into, which you did. There you lay, cuddled up on the sofa while Florence ran her fingers through your hair while watching TV until you drifted off to sleep not feeling any pain, not when you while you were in her arms.

#florence pugh #florence pugh x reader #fanfiction

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writerofweird · 11 months

Text

My Ant Story

Inspired by @bramblesand ‘s post about ants and circuit boards, as well as comments from @bogleech and @themunofprovidence, I wrote in the replies pieces of writing about an ant becoming human (a transformation more “successful” than the one from Animorphs mentioned in the comments) and so here is the story, slightly extended, given its own post for easier reading and finding.

(4,495 words, contains some body horror, language and implied nudity) I once met an ant who said she was a human woman.

She approached my colony as we were engaged on our usual routine collecting leaves, accompanied by another ant. From listening in on their conversation, I learned she had narrowly escaped the beak of a bird and was being brought to us to assist us.

‘I’m not an ant,’ she protested, standing on her hind two legs and gesturing to them with her front two legs.

‘You are an ant,’ replied the ant who had brought her near me.

I almost left them alone to continue with my usual work, but what caused me to drop the leaf I was carrying in my pincers and scurry over was her saying, ‘I’m human! My name is Dana and I was turned into an ant!’ Getting back on six legs, she added, ‘I need your help so I can change back!’

Ants knew all about transformations, about something becoming something else. There certainly was no way ants who had their nest invaded by a butterfly would ever forget what transformation was. If a caterpillar could become a butterfly, I thought, a human could become an ant. A human, like those I often saw during my food collections, engaged in activities I wouldn’t be able to participate in.

Ants knew all about transformations, and yet the ant who brought Dana to me said, ‘Very funny.’ She gestured to me with her head, adding, ‘You’re as bad a daydreamer as she is.’

Hearing this, she scuttled towards me, with both of us turning away from the other ant and the rest of the colony. The first thing I said to her was, ‘I believe you.’

‘Do you mean that?’ Dana replied, her antennae springing up slightly, ‘Because now I know ants have some knowledge of sarcasm.’ There were various things ants had subconsciously picked up from humans, I thought as Dana said this. There had been many overhead conversations, as well as the rare moments humans tried talking to ants, and yet, frequently I was chastised for stopping to view them.

‘No, I believe you,’ I replied, explaining to her the example of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly through an incident.

‘Wow,’ she replied, a word I had heard for the first time in my life that I figured out was an exclamation of surprise, ‘it just gets worse and worse the more I hear about it.’

‘Yes.’

‘And you’ve been like this your whole life?’ Dana looked at the ground, ceasing her scuttling for a moment. ‘I’m sorry.’

Dana crawled to me, told me her story and I - still holding out hope that there was a fairy or magical creature out there who could change someone’s species in seconds - believed her. Dana had explained how what was supposed to be a routine pizza delivery - she had to explain to me what a pizza was - ended with her force-fed a potion that caused an extra pair of limbs to burst from under her arms, that caused her bones to merge with her skin, that caused her hair to retreat, stabbing her insides like several needles. After that, she spent what felt like hours crawling through her oversized uniform before being picked up by the scientist who created the potion, thankfully slipping through their fingers before they could trap her in their ant farm.

The way she described how she now saw things - like how the furniture she used to sit on seemed to mutate into something oppressive and how she felt so much of herself had been hacked away - seemed like the type of thing that couldn’t have been made up.

What also strengthened my belief that Dana was not originally an ant was how, as we walked together while talking, she would often trip over her middle set of legs, collapsing on her thorax. One such moment happened when we were crawling together among the grass blades and two pairs of sneakers came our way, with me shoving Dana out of the way just in time, and before avoiding a drop of dew from a blade. ‘Thank you,’ I heard Dana say, though my attention wandered to who those shoes belonged to. Two women, exploring the natural world together, like Dana and I were.

That was what made me say what I had been thinking ever since I met Dana. ‘Dana,’ I said after we resumed our journey, ‘that scientist you mentioned. They turned you into an ant.’

‘Yes.’

‘And you think you can turn back into a human?’

Both of us said nothing for a few seconds before Dana said, ‘And you think you can turn into a human as well?’

‘Yes,’ I said before looking up again, up at the sky and the sun and the people who basked in it. The people who didn’t have to worry about being flattened. The people who were allowed to do more than scurry and eat.

‘Well,’ Dana said, ‘after what I’ve been through, I certainly don’t blame you. I wouldn’t wish this…well, I certainly wouldn’t wish this on you. I mean…’ She let loose a noise that I was certain was supposed to be equivalent to a human laugh. ‘…by helping me, I think you’re well on your way to becoming human already.’ Just as we were about to leave the grass, she turned to me and asked, ‘Do you have a name?’ I didn’t answer. ‘Would you like one?’

I almost stood on my hind two legs as Dana had earlier. ‘Yes, please.’ ‘Okay then,’ Dana replied, her antennae twitching as she stopped to think, ‘how about Betty then?’

So that was how I became Betty. Betty the Ant, soon to be Betty the Human.

After my naming, we left the greenery for what Dana called the pavement – what looked like someone took a river and replaced the water with mud. ‘Keep close to me,’ Dana told me as I did so, ‘seeing these buildings larger makes me feel dizzy.’ As if to punctuate this, she tripped on her legs again, right before we both scurried back in the grass as a human passed by, the clicking of his feet pounding into my brain. The pounding in my brain matched the pounding of my heart as I pondered the possibility of becoming human, and I told myself that while dodging shoes, I should remember that I was doing so to make sure such a thing would no longer be a problem. I would no longer hide from the humans, I would walk beside them. They wouldn’t grimace to see me on their food, they would smile at me as they saw me on the pavement.

Dana and I could go running through the fields together.

Both of us becoming human dominated my mind as Dana tried to lead the way towards where the scientist lived. When we were human, I thought, he wouldn’t be able to hide in a drainpipe nor would we need to. When we were human, our food sources didn’t have to come from what other humans disposed of.

As night fell, Dana perked up her head and screamed, ‘Fucker still has my car!’ Before us stood what looked like a gigantic sugar cube covered in mould, making me glad that I had recently had a snack of a discarded piece of chocolate. When we were human, I said to myself, we wouldn’t have to settle for less when it comes to food. This large building will look smaller. We could walk through doors instead of cracks in the walls.

The room we entered resembled the nest where I grew up, where the walls were taller and less colourful, with a floor that resembled a grey, frozen lake and there were what looked like the benches I saw in the parks, only lined with various glasses and metallic equipment I couldn’t name.

Again, we saw a pair of large shoes, making both of us instinctively crawl behind a table leg. Peeking around, I saw on the floor ant entrails. Dana placed her two forelegs against her pincers.

‘Well, well,’ came the voice from above, making my head throb harder than the footsteps against the pavement, ‘you weren’t very effective workers, were you?’ I scuttled closer to the feet despite Dana growling at me not to, and saw that the human in the white coat was looking down at the dead ants. ‘Guess you lost your chance to be human again,’ they added, placing a glass on top of the table Dana and I were hiding beneath. Back to Dana I went, my thorax and abdomen filled with a fierce stinging at how we had come too late to save these humans-turned-ants, alleviated by how that fate didn’t befall Dana, and the fact that I had a good idea how we were going to become human.

Both of us sat behind the table leg, watching the scientist gloat at their triumph, and as soon as they left the room, Dana walked beside me again, this time so I could guide her up the table leg. ‘Come on,’ I said to her, making sure she clung on. I was the first to climb onto the surface, and Dana suggested I bow my head down so she could grab onto my pincers with her forelegs, bringing us to the same level.

I was reminded of the picnic blankets I and my colony had passed, but there were no baskets or half-eaten meat to be found; only a pile of glass and soil, and the glass the scientist had been carrying, its label featuring what looked like severed legs arranged into a strange pattern.

‘This is it!’ cried Dana, tapping the label. ‘It says “Ant to Human”. Betty! This could work!’

I raced over to the bottle, my mind again filled with images on what I saw on a daily basis that I could finally participate in, all the new tastes I could sample, all the new places I could go. I almost leapt onto it, digging my pincers into what was jammed in the top as Dana pressed her head against the main body. As soon as the top flew off, the glass toppled over. As it contents poured onto the ground, Dana and I dove into it.

This is it, I thought as I scuttled over to the potion which we had managed to spill onto the floor. The end of my old life and the beginning of a new, more exciting one.

If this scientist could turn humans into ants, they could turn ants into humans.

No more living in fear, I told myself as I dipped my pincers into the fluid as Dana was doing. No more would I have to worry about birds or mantises or anything else. Things would be simpler, things would be more fun….

Caterpillars.

As soon as I tasted the liquid it felt like caterpillars - a myriad of writhing caterpillars - had invaded my body like one had invaded the hive, thrusting against the insides of my legs and thorax, demanding escape.

More and more caterpillars spawned within me, and my body changed to accomodate them.

Yes, I said to myself as I felt my body inflate, the shelf and walls in my vision shrinking. Yes, I’m growing, no-one will ever step on me again.

I still felt the caterpillars. I felt them stretch and squirm within me, forcing my eyes to the front of my head and ripping away two of my legs. My stinger and antennae forcing themselves back in my body - feeling like a bird’s beak shoving itself into my insides - made me fall, the chill of the floor making the caterpillars more lively.

I forced my eyes open to see my abdomen shrinking and my back legs inflating to look like colossal earthworms, sprouting what looked like maggots forcing their way out. For a minute, I swore I felt my antennae return - it felt like several of them bursting from my skull. It felt like cocoons were sprouting from the side of my head, and some of the caterpillars inside me had successfully escaped through my face and my legs yet still stuck to me.

I heard, ‘It worked! You’re human!’ yet the pain failed to subside. I not only felt writhing, I felt a whole new creature inside me, readying itself to burst out.

Again, I forced myself to open my eyes to look at my feet. Feet like those that had eliminated and tormented so much of my kind, toes as large as I had been previously, a big maggot with little maggots sprouting from it that I could control. As soon as my brain told me to get back on six legs, it told me to get back on two.

I stood, towering over what had previously towered over me. I looked at a table and saw it as something to lean on and place what I could use on, but I saw it as something to crawl up and crawl under. I looked at a chair and saw it as something to sit on and to sit under.

‘Betty, you look beautiful.’

I stared at my friend right in the eyes. I stared at a human right in the eyes. As I looked at those bizarre marbles called eyes and the many long thin antennae sprouting from her head, I saw what I had been blessed with. I saw what I had and could never had.

I was staring at her right in the eyes and crawling at her feet.

For a fleeting second, I was back in my old body: an ant with six limbs and antennae crawling under grass instead of attempting to walk in a room full of test-tubes. Both realities felt wispy.

Dana had been forced to take a potion that turned her into an ant like I used to be. The only thing, I believe, that prevented me from looking for that potion was the fact Dana had called me beautiful.

Dana had found the outfit she was wearing before her first transformation, and after dressing herself, returned with clothing from a less fortunate victim of the scientist.

In her fingers, she held a pair of shoes. Shoes like those I had narrowly escaped from, shoes that seemed to bulge as Dana held them. As I took the shoes from her, there was another moment where I was back in nature, but I was still human, looking down at my tinier ant self.

Just put on the clothes, I ordered myself. One thing humans do frequently is wear clothes, so I reasoned my first article of clothing would help tether me to the world of humanity and my previous life would fade.

Dana held up a t-shirt in front of my chest, a garment I could once explore like it was a nest, now made to be draped over my body. Again I was that human that attempted to step on my previous self, quickly reasoning how to put on the shirt and jeans and shoes, though Dana assisted. It was like flying through shrinking tunnels.

Once dressed, Dana took me by the hand and guided me outside. I was closer to the sky than I had been before. I raised my hand, almost certain I could pluck off one of the stars. For a second, I felt like a god.

In another second, the sky itself became a god, seemingly furious at my transformation, coming closer to show that even in my new form, I could still be crushed.

Dana stumbled, almost sending us falling face-first into the ground. ‘Sorry,’ she said, ‘guess I’m still getting reacquainted with being me. You know, I never knew what ants went through until I became one myself. I’m…’ She helped me up to my feet, even though a voice bellowed in my head that I should be standing on six limbs and not two. ‘I’m glad I helped you escape that.’

I still needed escape.

Dana directed me to what she called a “car”, what I first saw as a warped beast with two mouths and two leather tongues, its monstrous nature diminished when Dana happily leapt in, and patted one of those tongues. The car didn’t gnash or bite – though it made a noise like a roar when it started – so I made my way in, looking at a smaller version of that grey river through glass.

Dana took us back to her home – what looked like a gigantic slab that grew larger as I entered. Out I stepped into the night, with Dana wrapping her arm – what had once been a foreleg – around my form as I couldn’t help but look at my feet. What I had managed to narrowly avoid for so long now belonged to me.

One reason I dreamed of becoming human was that with larger size, as I heard, comes a longer life. A human body brings forth the possibility of seeing more change, more innovation, a far cry from an ant's repetitive life, which carried with it the looming suspicion that each night may be the last one you may witness.

That suspicion hung over me even as a human. It didn’t feel like the last night before death, but it was heralding an ending.

The next morning, to celebrate Dana’s return to humanity and my initiation into it, we decided to visit the spot where we first met.

The day began with a shower that left me shuddering as I remembered the myriad raindrops that threatened to destroy me, and a new set of clothes courtesy of Dana’s wardrobe. Again, she held me so I could walk on two legs because I was supposed to.

I was supposed to be a biped vertebrate. I was supposed to feel close to the sky and be larger than the bins and the shrubs we passed. The sunlight was supposed to feel like a tiny roasting on my skin.

I thought my mind was finally adjusting to my new body as I embraced the morning air. No more ant me. Human thoughts and human thoughts only.

Then I saw the other ants.

I looked at them and remembered when I had been among them, when I had been the same size and had been promised the same lifetime as them. ‘No,’ I whispered as I felt like I was the same size as them again.

Seeing them made my feet sting, as if they were begging me to crush them since I had the power to, as if destruction of ants were an integral part of human nature.

I saw them as potential humans.

Though I closed my eyes, I saw all of them inflating to my size, their antennae and legs and abdomen shrivelling away to make way for fingers and toes and hair and ears and noses. I saw the world through their eyes, I saw their nest and their surroundings stretch and flatten and warp. It was what I had experienced, but I had wanted this.

‘Are you okay?’

I turned to see a human, momentarily distracted from their ice cream cone. I had always wondered what it would be like to hold one of those things, to eat them without having them fall.

I saw the human as a potential ant.

I saw them transform as Dana described her own transformation, their ice cream falling to the ground as their fingers burrowed back into their arms and their hair hid away to herald the arrival of antennae.

I imagined flattening them under my foot, maybe punctuating it with ‘Now you know how it feels!’ and I wasn’t sure how I felt about the fact I laughed at that.

‘Betty, are you okay?’

Again we walked beside each other.

When I was an ant, I scurried across a discarded human object that I assumed was one of those things they wore for the sole purpose of decorating themselves. As a human, I learned it was a key.

When Dana took me back to her house, she told me she was locking the door - yet another object that seemed to stretch and shrink as I looked at it - in case the scientist responsible for our transformations found us. A key was used in tandom with a device called a lock to stop doors from opening.

When you are an ant, things just are. Birds want to fly down and eat you because they just do. You can lift heavy things because you just can. Humans find you disgusting because they just do.

In hopes of helping me adjust to my new humanity, Dana showed me a device that resembled a portable rectangular puddle. Like a puddle, I saw my reflection - I saw the being with several thin long antennae and the forward-facing eyes and as I did, the caterpillars within me squirmed all the more - but unlike puddles, I saw that locks didn’t stop doors from opening because they just did.

The doors were prevented from opening due to parts as small as I used to be. As privileged as I felt to learn what few - if any other - ants had no idea of, I found myself looking at an open door in Dana’s home, leading to a small room with tall sticks.

Dana was a human who became an ant and became a human again and she can become an ant again. All there was outside were people who had the potential to be crushed and ants who had the potential to do the crushing. Even if I turned back into an ant, what I learnt would remain and my nest would grow and shrink and expand and compress. I would imagine the other ants as humans ready to kill me, and myself as a human ready to kill them.

I wondered if it would be better if I locked myself in that small room and did nothing but imagine what I thought being human would be like until I died of starvation.

It wasn’t until then I noticed I was in Dana’s kitchen, a place many ants had been in before, a place that seemed entirely made of shimmering white water.

‘Betty,’ Dana cried, grabbing a bottle of water – resembling the glass that induced my transformation in the first place - from the cupboard, ‘drink this; you’ll feel better.’

I held the bottle in my hand, its contents just enough to soothe my dehydration.

I held the house I was in in my hand, my finger just barely fitting through the door I could once walk easily through.

I held the country in my hand, trees flattening in my grip.

I held the sky in my hand, the stars scattered across my palm like sugar.

I felt more like a human being than ever before.

With the many times I momentarily felt like I had transformed back into an ant, I was long overdue to feel like the human I had become. The human I was. I was human. The rooms I stood in and the furniture they contained were made for me. The sofa was where I could sit or sleep. The tables were where I could place food.

When I accidentally spilled biscuits on the floor, I had no desire to nibble at it.

When I looked at a window and the sunlight piercing it, it reminded me nothing of another glass held by a sadistic child.

I was human. Dana was human and so was I. When she held me, it was not to allow me to crawl across her palm nor was it to reduce me to entrails between her fingers. When she held me, she pressed her palms against my shoulders and elbows, making my stomach settle when it needed settling.

I was human. Dana believed I was worthy of knowledge that only humans were privy to.

‘Welcome to Dana’s human lessons,’ Dana had said to me after I held that bottle, holding up a sheet of paper with “HUMAN LESSONS” written on it. I know that because she pointed at each letter and sounded them out, my first step to deciphering what were once odd markings.

There were many objects in Dana’s home, and like the lock and the key, I learned how they worked, and they were not “just because”. Every object had a story, and each story featured Dana. She not only explained the contents of the kitchen, but what she had made with them. There was more to be done with food than just take it, scuttle away and eat it.

And there was more to devour than just food. Every room, everything contained in those rooms, they had Dana’s stories that could be my stories as well. No ants knew about internet or ibuprofen, but explanations of those and what they did now rested in my enlarged brain.

Then she showed me, in her own words: ‘something I liked as a kid but comes off a bit differently now.’Ants. Ants as seen by humans. Ants like I was once as seen by humans like I am now.

youtube

Ants. Ants as seen by humans. Ants like I was once as seen by humans like I am now.

We did look around woods like those for food, and we even surprised ourselves in how much we managed to carry away, but we were nowhere near as jovial about it as the cartoon - as Dana called it - portrayed.

The ants there looked less like ants than they did how I imagine I looked during my transformation.

That’s when I realised why I was so eager to learn about the human world.

I was a human. I was an ant.

Dana was a human. Dana was an ant.

Both of us had crawled beneath the roots of trees and brushed our fingers against their highest branches. Both of us had seen the sky clearly and obscured by blades of grass.

I didn’t feel like I had become an ant again, yet I found myself hungering for that form, but only for a moment. A moment where I could return to my colony and share stories of everything I had learned, everything they willingly ignored and mocked.

The humans would see me transform again, I thought, they would believe that Dana was briefly an ant and so would believe her stories of what it was like.

The days of ants being villified, mocked, flattened and roasted would come to an end. I saw ants as potential humans and humans as potential ants because I saw them learning more about each other.

And there were other animals out there too. What would it be like to fly like a bird, to be even closer to the sky? What would it be like to be a dog, larger than the grass yet smaller than the bins?

We had to pay another visit to the scientist.

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dausy · 4 months

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I didn't upload my disney trip because I felt guilty I was at Disney and my husband is overseas and miserable doing army stuff and I just felt like such a bad spouse. Sometimes I wonder if I'm on the spectrum because I just do not comprehend social cues. However, he's on a neat Christmas trip right now in Rome and seemingly doing some cool once-in-a-lifetime Christmas stuff right now. So I think its ok. I don't know how much I'm typing so Ill put it under a keep-reading tag. But my in-laws didn't want me to be alone for Christmas so they paid for my Disneyland ticket..I mean I went and bought the tickets because I get a discount but they paid me back. I drove to their house 8 hours away and we all shuttled in a car and drove the 6 more hours to Disney. I honestly think in many ways Disneyland is superior to Disneyworld. The primary reason I'd ever want to go back to DW would be for the food/wine festivals in Epcot. I think its like a great woo-girl-girls-trip and I'd like to go with my sisters one day.

anyway.

We visited a food-hall in LA the day we got there. Me and my husband took my MIL to a couple food halls in Atlanta and she thought it was a neat idea and found one in LA and wanted to show her family. I forgot what it was called already but I got a pastry and a creme brulee coffee that got actually torched like a creme brulee. They also had a southern food restaurant and I got shrimp and grits just so I can judge it as I lived in Georgia for long. It was pretty good. Bit greasy but the food hall itself was really cute. I just honestly with these food halls, I need more kitschy shopping.

We then went to the Disney shopping district and you can judge but I did spend a lot of money on starwars earrings and all the simba merch I could find. Which was not that much but still very expensive. A lot of stuff is under construction. I really just wanted some Christmas themed cocktails and their main bar was down.

we spent the next couple days at CA and DL. We had park hoppers. I wanted to do the Festival of the Holidays which I thought was a bit disappointing compared to the food and wine I've had in epcot in the past.

I took a lot of clips rather than pictures because I thought about posting to youtube but I don't think I will. I did upload them all to facebook though.

The festival alcohol I swear didn't have alcohol in it. For the record I rarely ever drink alcohol ever. But for this trip I kinda just wanted to relax and not rush ride to ride and just browse and sip something that tasted like Christmas.

There is an interesting food dynamic with my in-laws that I can't explain the entire situation here but I did have to wander off a bit in search of the food. I got a turkey thanksgiving empanada which was pretty good and I think my favorite thing I had was the tamales and there were some little chicken bites that were good too. But these sandwiches were a bit of a disappointment and I found hair in the coleslaw.

random photos. We accidentally found Tiana by herself and we got a photo and she was absolutely lovely. I really wanted to buy some sort of a spirit jersey and I just couldn't find one that I thought was worth it. They did have a red The Lion King one but it was kind of too-red for me. I did find this green lion king hoody though which was nice. I got a lot of compliments on my everything..I swear to god this random guy came up to me like a cartoon character and he yells "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT SIMBA" the one I have hooked onto my shoulder. As he screams it about 15 of his own little magnitized character clip ons and pins pop off of him. It reminded me of the witch from the bugs bunny cartoons where her hair pins would fall out.

I did get to see the Festival of the Lion King show. I've never seen this one. I've seen the one at Disneyworld years ago which was really cool. I didn't know DL had one and I guess this is one of its last performances so I teared up a little.

Primarily me and my SIL who I absolutely love spent a lot of time in Star Wars. I had forgotten until we were wandering around that DL is the one place that has the Cal Kestis lightsaber so I went on a hunt to find it. I'm not gonna buy it but I did find it! I also was not fast enough to get a photo with kylo ren but I didn't realize they had little R2D2s walking the park either. I don't think they have R2 at DW.

I also am a bad planner. I'm not one of those disney adults that can plan out an entire day. I was afraid to try and reserve any sort of dining because again the odd food situation. But I did manage to sneak into Ogas Cantina which was imo, a much better experience then the one in orlando by far. It seemed bigger, more spacious and the food was actual food and these were the strongest drinks I'd had in the park.

They tell you you have 45 mins and you have to get out but we stayed a bit later than that and nobody harassed us. If I went back to DL again I'd hundred percent try and get a reservation here and at the Blue Bayou again. I was also trying to refresh the app to look for an opening in lamplight lounge but alas, it did not open.

the new Marvel version of Tower of Terror I thought was also a lot of fun. And the Haunted Mansion! I feel like like they should leave it Nightmare Before Christmas all the time! I've never been on it this time of year at DW but it was wonderful here at DL. My first time seeing the Jack Skellington stuff. Also! Jack was out as a character wandering the park which I'd never seen before either.

I have to say I was really impressed with the handicap accessibility of some rides. My FiL is blind and utilizes a wheelchair most times and we managed to take him on Mickeys Runaway Rail and I was very impressed with the transfer lane for that. Very impressed with the cast members.

but I think my favorite rides are still Rise of the Resistance and lowkey, Smugglers Run. I feel like everybody hates on Smugglers Run but my stomach and chest hurt so bad from laughing. This ride was hilarious with the right group of people. 6 of us went in and I swear my MILs elderly sister was coming out of her seatbelt rolling around on the floor because my piloting skills were so bad. The funniest experience I've had on a ride.

Before RotR came out though I was a huge Universal Studios fan because their Harry Potter world was just so immersive (I'm aware in recent days HP is controversial) that disney just didn't compare. But they caught on with the StarWars real fast. It is super impressive and they just need to roll out more star wars add-ons. Especially to compete with Universals nintendo and how to train your dragon thats coming out soon in orlando.

The trackless rides are just so clever and I'm excited to see where that technology goes.

oh and the weather! I don't know how to dress for California and I dont understand it. Last couple years we went to Knotts Berry Farm and I froze to death every time. November and December I'm freezing. I keep expecting it to be like Florida weather I guess and it isn't. I keep bringing warm weather clothes and freezing. We were in LA back in June/July to visit the beach and it was 70 and I was freezing. Not beach weather. This year, I bring all winter clothes. Fleece leggings and tights to wear under jeans and coats and hoodies....it got up to 80 one of the days we were there and I got really hot. I brought a tank top and that was it. Everything else was winter. California you killing me.

but thats about it for now I think. That I can think of anyway. Overall both of my Disneyland trips I've had have been better than my Disneyworld trips.

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crystalninjaphoenix · 2 years

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House Party (And Other Matters)

Paranormal Preteens AU: Episode Three

A JSE Fanfic

And here is part three! After this, I’m gonna start spacing out the parts of this AU a bit more, slowly put it into the ordinary AU rotation I have going on. But for this week, we have this! Chase puts some more effort into bonding with Henrik, but soon after, they realize that the whole group needs to get together to talk about the library incident. They hang out for a while, but are interrupted right at the end. But hey, it turns out alright! I promise. Enjoy!

++++++++++++++++++++

The rest of Saturday and Sunday passed in a bit of a blur. Chase knew his mom could probably tell something was up, but he wasn’t about to tell her what happened. There was no way she’d believe him about a ghost in the library.

Chase had the Jacksons’ phone number now, but he wasn’t sure how to talk to them—or what to talk to them about. What did the two of them even do? Other than wander around town and collect neat rocks (something Chase had seen them do on multiple occasions.) And how do you even start a conversation after seeing a ghost together? Especially when that was only your second interaction with them? So, since he had no idea how to do this, Chase decided to not do it until he needed to, and spent most of the weekend watching TV and occasionally skateboarding down the street.

Things changed on Monday. It was almost one o’clock, and Chase had been alone in the house for the past hour and a half. Mom had taken Henrik out somewhere, probably still trying to get him used to the town. Chase was just wondering when they’d be back when he heard the front door open. He turned around, leaning on the back of the sofa, and watched the two of them walk down the hall.

“—find another one if this doesn’t work out,” Mom was saying. She looked up and saw Chase staring. “Hi, sweets. Did you have lunch?”

“Nah.” Chase shook his head. He’d been thinking about making a sandwich for a while, but honestly? He was half-hoping Mom would bring home food.

“Alright, then. Does mac ‘n’ cheese sound good to the two of you?”

“Yeah!” Chase said. Henrik, standing next to Mom, nodded silently.

“Great. I'll go whip that up.” And with that, Mom disappeared into the kitchen.

Chase and Henrik were alone in the front room. Staring at each other. The TV was on, filling the silence with the sound of commercials. The two of them hadn’t interacted much while at home. Henrik spent most of his time in his room. It wasn’t a privacy thing, since Henrik kept his door open all of the time—even at night! While he slept! So weird—so maybe it was a personal space thing? Chase didn’t really understand. Either way the only time the two of them really saw each other was at meals.

Henrik shifted on his feet, then glanced over at the stairs. Clearly wondering whether it was worth it to go up to his room to wait for lunch to be ready. At that moment, Chase noticed he was holding something. “Is that a stuffed animal?” he asked.

“Was? Ah.” Henrik looked down at the plushie in his hands. “Ja. Your mom took me to the store and let me choose one.”

“Cool.” Chase didn’t have any plushies. At least, ones that weren’t kept in the old toy chest in his closet. But he didn’t have anything against them. “What is it?”

“A bat.” Henrik walked a bit closer, holding up the stuffed animal for Chase to get a better look at. The bat was made of soft-looking black fur, except for some orange felt in its ears and the inside of its wings. It was small and floppy with reflective dark eyes. The main body could be held in two hands, but the wings gave it a bit more size.

“I like bats. They, like, suck your blood and stuff.”

“That is vampires,” Henrik said.

“But there are vampire bats, right?”

“Ja, but they do not eat human blood, only animals like cows,” Henrik explained. “We do not have enough blood for them. And there are many bats. Most eat insects, but there are some who eat fruit or flowers.” He walked a little closer, going around the sofa, and held out the plushie. “Look at this. The bat has...it has...the soft and prickly things on its wings. So you can stick them together and hang it from things.”

“Soft and what?” Chase scooted a bit closer without standing up. “Oh, you mean velcro? Yeah.” There were two squares of velcro on the tips of the plush bat’s wings. “Cool.”

“Velcro,” Henrik repeated. He looked down at the bat and played with the wings, sticking and unsticking them. “It is not very accurate. Bats hang from their feet, not their wings. But I thought it was...cool.”

Chase laughed a little bit. It sounded weird to hear Henrik say a slang word like that. Not really bad. Just weird. He paused for a moment. The silence stretched between them, punctured by ad announcers on the TV. “Hey, uh...you’re smart, right?” Chase finally said. “Do you like, uh...space?”

Henrik blinked. “Do you mean...outer space?”

“Yeah.”

“I...I suppose. I think stars are interesting.”

“Okay.” Chase nodded. “What do you think about aliens?”

“Well...it would make sense for them to be real,” Henrik said slowly. “The universe is very big. But we probably will not see them in our lives.”

“Okay, but are aliens cool?” Chase asked.

Henrik stared at him. “I...suppose?”

“Alright good.” Chase scooted back to his previous spot on the sofa, leaving a full cushion of room next to him. “I was thinking about it, and like, we never have anything to talk about. And I think that’s because we don’t know any of the same things. So I’m gonna show you this show I like. About aliens.”

“Now?” Henrik asked, surprised.

“Yeah, the next episode’s starting soon.”

Henrik took a step back. “I should...I should ask Aunt Jess if I can watch the television.”

Chase raised an eyebrow. “She’s not gonna care, dude. As long as you don’t spend all day watching TV.” Henrik didn’t show any signs of sitting down, though, so he sighed. “But I mean...you can. I’m not gonna stop you. Just be back here really quick, it’s almost time.”

Henrik nodded, then hurried into the kitchen. Chase idly watched the commercials for a minute before he returned. “Alright,” he said, climbing onto the sofa next to Chase. “We can watch the television until it is time for lunch. A-and she said we could keep going after.”

“See? Told you Mom wouldn’t care.” Chase laughed. “You’re just in time, too. I was really hoping you wouldn’t miss the theme song, it’s great.”

It was a little awkward at first. Chase kept glancing over at Henrik to see if he was having a good time. And for a while, it seemed like he wasn’t. He was sitting on the sofa straight up, right on the edge of the cushion, his feet just shy of resting on the floor. Chase had never seen a kid sit like that while watching TV. But after a little bit, Henrik seemed to relax a little. Eventually, he started to ask Chase questions about the show. Chase was all too happy to answer. Once that got going, Henrik relaxed even more. He seemed fascinated with the show.

“—and so now they’re enemies,” Chase finished. “And they fight a few times. But now they’re forced to fight together in this episode because, I mean, how else are they gonna make it through the alien fighting pit? One of them’s on a timer and the other one’s only a tenth as powerful.”

“Ah, okay, okay.” Henrik nodded. The colors of the show reflected in his glasses.

“Do you not get English shows in Germany?” Chase asked.

“No, they do a thing where they get other actors to say the lines in German and put that instead of the English voices,” Henrik said.

“Oh. Maybe you just don’t get this show, then.” Or any of the other TV shows Chase had ever mentioned.

“Maybe we do?” Henrik shrugged, fiddling with the wings of the bat plushie. “I do not know. I do not watch a lot of it.” He paused. “But I think this is...good.”

Chase grinned. “Glad to hear that. Uh...thanks, Henrik.”

“Oh. Ah...” Henrik started to say something, stopped, then started over. “Can you...can you call me the nickname you used instead? On Saturday?”

“At the library?” Chase took a moment to remember what he was talking about. “Oh, you mean Schneep?”

Henrik nodded. “Ah, do not use it in front of your mom. O-or any other adults. But I think—I-I think that if it is just us, or other—other children—”

Chase leaned over and nudged him, pressing his shoulder against his. “Alright, Schneep. If you say so.” He smiled. “I guess it does kinda suit you.”

Henrik—Schneep had tensed for a moment at the sudden nudge, but then he smiled back. “Thank you,” he muttered, ducking his head and half-burying his face in the bat plushie.

They finished the episode and were in the in-between-shows commercials when Mom called out, “Boys! It’s time for lunch!”

“Shoot, we might miss the start of the next one,” Chase muttered. “Whatever, it’s fine. It’s probably not a new one, I can fill you in on what we missed.” And with that, the two of them headed into the dining room.

They were halfway through their mac ‘n’ cheese when Mom set her own lunch aside and sat up straight. “Alright. So. It turns out I’ll have to go into the office tonight, at six. I’ll be back around nine.”

“So we’re staying home alone?” Chase asked, perking up.

Mom smiled a little. “No, Chase, you’re not staying home alone.”

Chase deflated. “Why nooooot? I was staying home alone for, like, all of last year! I was alone earlier today! And then—then March happened and I—”

“March and April were different,” Mom said patiently. “We weren’t about to leave you home alone for that long so often. And you’re right, you were alone earlier. But the difference is that it was daytime, and only for an hour. This is night. I want to be sure you’re safe. And...maybe I would be fine with leaving just you alone, Chase, but I’m a bit more nervous with the two of you here.”

Chase pointed across the table at Schneep. “I’m older! I can look after him!”

“You are only one year older than me,” Schneep said. “Actually, you are only seven months older than me. That is even less.”

“Well, yeah, but you’re kinda tiny,” Chase pointed out.

Schneep looked down at himself, as if he could see whatever factor made him look so short. Personally, Chase thought the big sweaters he wore didn’t help.

“Either way, I still feel nervous,” Mom said. “So...I thought I’d call Jackie to come watch you for those hours.”

“...Oh.” Chase nodded. “Uh, yeah. That makes sense. If you’re nervous.”

Mom chuckled a bit. He didn’t understand what was so funny. “Alright. I can call right now, and see if sh—he’ll be able to make it.”

Suddenly, Chase got an idea. “Oh! Uh, Mom? Is it okay if we, uhhh...when Jackie comes over, we call some other kids to come over too? Uh, those two we saw on Saturday. Marvin and Jameson. And we can hang out and...talk and stuff.” Schneep, catching on quickly, nodded in support of Chase’s suggestion.

“Hmm? Sure, if they can come over, they’re free to.” Mom chuckled again. “I’ll have to ask Jackie if he’s okay with watching four kids instead of just two, though, so be prepared.”

Chase nodded. He looked across the table, and caught Schneep’s attention. The two of them had the same look in their eyes. It was time to talk about the library.

++++++++++++++++++++

The others arrived a few hours later, around 5:30. Chase was in his room, playing on his Nintendo DS, when Mom called from downstairs, “Chase! Henrik! Your friends are here!” So Chase saved the game, exiting to the main menu, and started downstairs. Schneep poked his head out of his room right as Chase passed his doorway, then followed him.

The Jacksons had arrived first. Mom was talking with them. “It’s very nice to meet you,” she said. “Your family lives down on Riverview, right?”

“Yep,” Marvin said.

“That’s quite a ways away.” Mom sounded concerned. “You didn’t walk the whole way here, did you?”

“No, we rode our bikes,” Marvin said, pointing through the window next to the door. “It didn’t really take that long, cause there’s this big hill on our street so we went fast down that and kept up the speed all the way here. That’s cause of, like, some science stuff.” He glanced at Jameson, who finger-spelled something in sign. “Inertia! Stuff in motion stays in motion.”

Mom laughed. “Alright. But if you need me to drive you home afterwards, I’ll be happy to. Or you can use our phone to call your parents.”

The twins nodded in unison. Then Jameson asked something in sign.

“Oh! Yes of course.” Mom pointed into the living room. “It’s right off the front room, sort of under the stairs. Feel free to leave your bag on the couch or something.”

Jameson smiled, signed something else, then headed in the direction she indicated. He waved at Chase and Schneep as he passed.

“Mom, do you know sign language?” Chase asked.

“Hmm? Oh, yes.” Mom nodded. “You know how Grandpa’s getting a little hard of hearing, so I learned ASL, and then figured why not learn BSL too since we’re living here?”

“Oh. Can you teach me?” Chase glanced at Schneep. “And Henrik, too.”

“Of course, Chase. We can start whenever you like.”

“Hi, Chase!” Marvin waved. “Hi, Henrik! Your house is cool. You have a front yard! Do you have a backyard? I didn’t get to see it from outside cause of your fence. That’s called a solid fence style, y’know, and I think your fence is plastic because the planks look too much like each other. But that’s good cause you don’t get splinters.”

“Uhhh yeah, it’s fake wood,” Chase said. “We put it up when we moved in. Do you wanna, uh, go into the living room?”

“Sure!” And without waiting at all, Marvin headed into the living room, forcing Chase and Schneep to follow. “Holy shit! You have three video game boxes!”

“Dude! My mom is right there!” Chase glanced over his shoulder, at his mom who was still in view and definitely within earshot. There was a look of surprise on her face. “You can’t just say words like that!”

“Okay,” Marvin said absentmindedly. He was too busy kneeling in front of the TV and looking at Chase’s game consoles. “You have an Xbox and a PS3?! Jeez! That’s awesome! What’s the purple one?”

“That’s a GameCube,” Chase said. “It’s kinda old. We used to have other old ones too, but uh...not anymore.”

“Cube,” Marvin repeated. “Cuuube. It’s a good name for it, ‘cause it’s a cubical video game box.”

At that moment, the bathroom door opened and Jameson reappeared. “Hi,” Chase said to him, then looked back at Marvin. “They’re called ‘consoles,’ you know.”

“Ohhh. Okay, that makes sense. I’ve heard that word before.” Marvin stood up. “We have a Wii. Right, JJ?” Jameson nodded, and signed something. “Oh, I’m looking at Chase’s game boxes—game consoles. He has three! That’s fucking insane! How many games do you have?”

“Uhhh...this many.” Chase walked over to the side of the TV, where there was a cabinet that came up to chest height. He swung open the doors to reveal shelves of video games. The cabinet wasn’t full; there were conspicuous empty gaps in the shelves. But it was still an impressive collection. “Again, we used to have more old games, but...now we don’t.” Schneep gave him an odd look at that, but the twins either didn’t notice the note of sadness in Chase’s voice or they didn’t care. The two of them clustered around the cabinet, signing at each other excitedly. Chase stepped back to give them some space.

Someone rang the doorbell. Chase glanced towards the sound, moving a bit so he could get a better angle of the front hallway. Mom looked through the small peephole in the wood, then opened the door and smiled. “Hi, Jackie. Thank you so much for stopping by, I hope it’s not too much trouble.”

“No, it’s okay, Ms. Walker. I mean, I’m not doing anything on a Monday night.” Jackie stepped into the house, glancing around. “Um...looks the same in here as last time, heh.”

“Yeah, not much has changed. Not down here, anyway. We’ve done some rearranging upstairs.” Mom kept one hand on the open door’s handle, checking the watch on her other wrist. “I really have to go if I’m going to make it in time. Look, if you have any trouble, I left my phone number on a sticky note on the fridge. There’s also some money to order food if you don’t want to cook. They should probably have dinner soon.”

“Got it.” Jackie nodded. “Don’t worry about anything, Ms. Walker. I can handle it.”

Mom laughed. “If you insist. Still, please call me if you need anything. Don’t worry about interrupting me, this is more important. I’ll be back around nine, nine-thirty at the latest. Good luck. And I’ll see you then.”

“Goodbye, Ms. Walker.” Jackie watched as Mom walked out the front door, waving to her as she got in her car and drove off. Then he closed the door and turned around to see Chase staring at him. “Hey, little man. So, uh...all your friends are over, then?”

“No, just the Jacksons.” Chase shrugged. “Uh...I guess we’re friends? I haven’t really talked to them that much—”

“It’s beanie boy!” Marvin shouted from the living room, sounding delighted. “Beanie boy’s the babysitter!” Next to him, Jameson laughed quietly.

“Hi, there.” Jackie walked into the living room, Chase following close behind. “You’re Marvin, right? I think I told you my name was Jackie. I’m not even wearing my beanie tonight.” True, that part of his outfit was missing. The red hoodie was still there, though. And there was an additional backpack, which he put down on the floor next to an armchair.

“Sorry, I’m not good with names,” Marvin said. “Or faces. Or voices. I know accents, though.”

Jackie laughed a bit. “Alright. Understandable. Hey, are you guys hungry?”

“Is it time for dinner?” Schneep asked. He’d settled down on the sofa at some point.

“It can be, if you guys are hungry. Chase’s mom said she left money for food. We could order pizza.”

Jameson gasped. He nodded quickly, then hurried over to the chair where he left his shoulder bag, pulling out his notepad and pencil. Meanwhile, Chase started up a chant of, “Piz-za! Piz-za! Piz-za!” which Marvin soon joined, and eventually Schneep.

“Alright, alright, I got it.” Jackie grinned, bending over to get his cell phone out of his backpack. “Pizza from anywhere in particular?”

“Mom and I always get Queen Cleo’s,” Chase said. “And we get a bag of—we get two bags of crazy bread.” He looked around at the others. “Guys? What toppings do you want? I want pepperoni, but we can get a half-and-half one. No olives, though, because they seep into all the pizza.”

Jameson already had an answer for this. He flipped his notebook over to reveal what he’d been writing. Marvin doesn’t like any toppings, just plain cheese. I like pepperoni and/or mushrooms. Absolutely NO pineapple for either of us, because that’s just weird.

“What?! Pineapple is good!” Chase said. “Jackie, get pineapple!”

“You already cast your vote for pepperoni, guy,” Jackie said, dialing the number for the pizza place.

Chase made a face, then moved on. “Schneep, what do you want?”

“I...ah...” Schneep looked a little lost. “It has been a long time since I had pizza. I-I think that just cheese is fine?”

“So we’ll get a half-cheese half-pepperoni with two packets of crazy bread, got it.” Jackie nodded.

Jameson reached over and tapped Chase’s shoulder to get his attention. Chase, can we play video games on your consoles?

“Oh yeah!” Chase grinned, practically bouncing with excitement. “Schneep, do you want to play? We have multiplayer games!”

Schneep shook his head. “I do not think I will be very good. But I will sit and watch. It will be like TV, yes?”

“You don’t have to be good at video games, you just have to have fun!”

“Well, I think I will have more fun if I sit and watch. Maybe...another time?” Schneep offered.

“Hmm.” Chase nodded. “Yeah, that’s okay.” He just barely got Schneep to sit down and watch TV with him, maybe video games were too much. Baby steps, as Mom said. “Okay, so what do you two want to play?” he asked, spinning back around to look at the twins.

The two of them were already back by the game cabinet. Jameson pulled out one of the cases and showed it to Marvin. “Really?” Marvin said. “I don’t think more than one person can play that. Why?” Jameson signed something. “Okay, yeah, but he’s not like a cute hedgehog, he’s more like a cartoon who fights crime and has an ‘attitude,’ tee-em. Do you just like it because he’s blue?”

“Which one are you looking at?” Chase leaned over their shoulders. “Oh, no, that one’s hard, you don’t want to pick that one. And Marvin’s right, it’s only single player.”

Jameson looked him dead in the eyes, and lightly tossed the game over towards the TV, where it landed right in front of the consoles.

“Alright, fine.” Chase went over and picked it up. “We’ll take turns. Switch off every time someone gets stuck, which will happen a lot.” He started setting up the Xbox. “Or maybe we could each do one of the story stages, cause there are, like, three different stories with three different main characters. I call Shadow’s.”

And with that, the four of them settled on and around the sofa, ready to start playing.

++++++++++++++++++++

It took almost an hour for the pizza to arrive, during which the three of them made almost no progress on the game. Chase insisted they start from a new save file, and this turned out to be a good idea, as the twins had no idea how to use the Xbox controller so even the first levels were difficult. The two of them were stubborn, though. Between Chase’s coaching and their efforts they managed to each get through two levels. Meanwhile, Schneep was just as fascinated with the video game as he was with the TV show. He kept asking Chase questions about what was going on. Eventually, Chase found himself explaining each character’s backstory and how they all fit into this game. The other three were all very interested in this, which Chase was happy to hear.

Jackie didn’t participate much in the conversation, letting the four of them play the game on their own. He sat in a chair nearby and watched quietly. Chase kept asking him questions to pull him into talking, though, which he didn’t seem to mind. It was through Jackie that Chase learned there were video games you could play on the computer. And not Internet games, which he already knew about, but full-on game games. Chase asked him what his favorite one was, and Jackie gave a couple examples, none of which he’d heard of.

And then the doorbell rang, and the pizza arrived, and everything stopped so they could eat. It was delicious, of course, but soon after everyone had taken a slice...Chase figured it was finally time to bring up the elephant in the room. “Uh, so. After we finish eating,” he said, “could we talk about...about what happened in the library? Do you think we’ve...processed that enough?”

Marvin and Jameson looked at each other, then nodded. Schneep said nothing, but Chase already knew he was on board. “Do you...are you including me in that?” Jackie asked.

Chase thought about it. “Yeah. I mean, you picked us up. You’re kinda involved.”

“Alright, then. When you’re ready, I guess.”

They sat down in the living room again. Chase turned off the game, making sure it was saved, and looked around. Jackie was back in his armchair. The twins were on the sofa, sitting close enough to take up one cushion while Schneep had the other to himself. And Chase was standing, too nervous to sit. “So...” he said. “Uh...library ghost, huh?”

“Yeah, what happened?” Jackie asked. “I know you told me in the car, but can you tell me again?”

Together, the four of them gave a quick overview of the events at the library. Arriving to film a movie and ghost hunt, getting attacked by a ghost of an old woman, hiding under the desks, then eventually having to make a break for it while that book tornado formed in the center of the library.

We went back the next day, Jameson said. Everything was cleaned up, but one of the librarians said there’d been a bunch of destroyed books all over the ground floor on Saturday. I don’t think anyone saw the ghost other than us. The library was pretty empty, and I think the librarian was on break or something.

“Okay, then.” Jackie nodded. “And...it was definitely an old lady who, uh, attacked you?”

“Yes!” Chase emphasized. Clearly, hearing the story a second time did nothing to convince Jackie that the ghost was real. But he’d offered to help anyway, so there was that. “Well, it was started by that weird shadow.”

“What was this shadowy thing, anyway?” Marvin asked. “I didn’t see it.”

“Well you and Jameson were at the other end of the book aisle,” Chase said. “Schneep probably saw it. Right?” He looked over at Schneep, who merely shook his head. “What? But you were right next to me!”

“I was not looking where you were at first,” Schneep said. “If you saw a shadow, it was not there when I saw you staring at something.”

“Well, it was there.” Chase folded his arms. “It looked like a guy’s shadow, but there was no guy. But it was definitely there. I saw it before, in the park last week, but I’d kinda hit my head when I saw it the first time so I thought my brain was broken or something. But! Seeing it a second time means it was real! It pulled the ghost out of the bookcase and then touched her and made her glow green!”

“Maybe the shadow was coming from somewhere else,” Jackie suggested. “Um, what sort of shadow did it look like? I mean, who would it belong to?”

“I dunno. A guy.” Chase thought back to seeing it crouched on the bookshelf. “Not a kid. It was too tall. It laughed a little, and I think it sounded like a boy’s laugh? It had, like, the outline of hair, and that also looked like a boy’s hair.”

Jackie raised an eyebrow. “What’s a boy’s hair look like?”

“Short, I guess?” Chase said.

“Guys can have long hair,” Marvin said. “And girls can have short hair. Our aunt Linda has a best friend who lives with her named Sarah and she has short hair and likes to wear, like, suits to parties—”

“Ugh!” Chase interrupted. “I know guys and girls can have long and short hair! You get what I mean!”

So did the shadow make the ghost attack us? Jameson asked.

“I...don’t know,” Chase said slowly. “Maybe? It kind of...summoned her.”

“Maybe the shadow is another ghost?” Schneep suggested. “But it was one that was not as powerful, and could not make a body like she could. So it woke her up instead.”

“Is there anywhere the shadow could have...come from?” Jackie asked. “Like, if someone was on the balcony in the library and had a light shone on them, it could have looked like their shadow was down there.”

“No, we were away from the balcony when the shadow and ghost showed up,” Chase insisted. “The shadow couldn’t have come from anywhere. I know how light works, and it wasn’t at the right angle for a shadow to look like that!”

“Alright, alright, I believe you,” Jackie said, raising his hands.

“You do not believe us,” Schneep muttered.

Jackie shook his head. “No, I do. I don’t think you guys are making this up. I just...I-I don’t believe in ghosts.”

“I did not either, and then one started to throw books at me,” Schneep said.

Chase laughed.

“Why’d you come ghost hunting with us if you didn’t believe in ghosts?” Marvin asked, confused.

Schneep shrugged. “I-I think...I think I wanted to see what would happen. I, ahm, did not expect there to be one. But maybe it would be...interesting.”

Jackie sighed. “Well—”

There was a knock at the door.

No, it wasn’t really a knock. More like...a thud. A really loud thud against the front door. Everyone froze, looking towards the door. And again, there was a thud, this time followed by some scratching noises.

“Uh...that’s probably not your mom, is it?” Marvin asked. Jameson rolled his eyes and shoved him. Marvin shoved him back.

“It sounds like an animal or something,” Jackie said quietly, slowly standing up.

Chase frowned. “I don’t think there are any animals around here. I mean, the Hendersons have a cat, and Ms. Kennedy used to have this dog, but he ran away. And he wasn’t big enough to—”

Thud. The door shuddered. Then more scratching, the sound of claws digging into the wood.

“...do that,” Chase finished.

“Chase,” Jackie said in a low voice. “Does your mom keep anything in the house that’s big, heavy, and could be used as a weapon?”

“I-I think we keep the big mop in the closet down here.” Chase pointed. Unfortunately, the closet was really close to the front door. “And I have my baseball bat in my room.”

“Okay.” Jackie nodded. “You guys stay back.” He pulled out his phone and slowly walked forward. The others watched him go. Those who were sitting stood up and backed as far away from the front door as they could, while still being able to see it. Thud. Thud. Jackie stopped in his tracks, then took a deep breath, and looked through the small peephole in the wood. From where they were standing, the four boys barely heard him mutter, “What the hell?”

Thud. Jackie jumped backwards. He reached behind him, fumbling until he found the closet handle and opened it. He glanced down at his phone and dialed a number with one hand, while his other reached into the closet and blindly searched for something. While the phone rang, he looked back to the others. “Guys, go upstairs. It’ll be safe up there.” Then the other end of the call must have picked up, because he turned away and started talking. “Hi, yeah, I-I don’t know if I’m supposed to call you guys for this, but uh...I-I think there’s some sort of rabid animal trying to get into this house.”

Chase glanced back at the other three, his eyes wide. Marvin and Jameson looked over at him, their identical faces wearing identical shocked expressions. Schneep, meanwhile, had gone completely white, arms half-raised in front of him protectively. “Let’s go,” Chase whispered. He grabbed Schneep by the arm and ran for the stairs, pulling him along.

The two of them stopped at the top of the staircase. Here, there was a small landing-like area where you could look down at the living room. Marvin and Jameson hadn’t followed them. Instead, the two of them had run into the kitchen. Chase could see Jackie standing in the living room and staring into the dining room entrance. One hand held Mom’s mop, while the other still pressed the phone to his ear. “What are you two doing?!” he hissed. “Get up there!” Then he switched to the phone again. “Yeah, there are some kids here. Uh, four of them. Me? Uh, sixteen. Well, technically I—yeah. Yeah, the address is—”

Marvin and Jameson ran, sprinting up the stairs to the landing where Chase and Schneep were. As they dashed past the front hall, the thudding grew louder. The door shuddered in its frame with only the small lock holding it in place.

“What were you two doing?!” Chase half-shouted, repeating Jackie’s question.

“Getting stuff,” Marvin said simply.

Chase looked at what he was holding. “You didn’t need to get the pizza!” Was this really the time to claim the last slice of pepperoni?!

“No, look.” Marvin held up the plate with the slice. “This is important. I’m gonna—”

Thud! Thud! CRACK!

Something in the door broke. Chase wasn’t sure if it was the lock or the wood around it, but something broke and it flew open. Still on the first floor, Jackie gasped. He dropped his phone and held the mop up defensively in front of him.

A huge animal lunged into the house. It was a dog, but a dog bigger than any Chase had ever seen. Its head would come up to an adult’s shoulders, meaning it was as tall as the twins and taller than Chase and Schneep. Its fur was matted, shades of brown and black with the occasional white. It was built like a wolf, and yet, its ears were floppy, not the triangle shape that a wolf’s would be. And the tail was different: long and thin, almost snake-like as it dragged on the ground. The eyes glowed green, and drool dripped from teeth that looked way too large for the mouth. Besides him, Chase could feel Schneep shaking slightly, and he instinctively wrapped his arms protectively around him.

Jackie backed up, wide eyes locked on the impossible dog in front of him. The dog stared back at him. It growled, the muscles in its legs tensing.

And then Marvin leaned down from the top of the stairs and threw the slice of pizza right past the dog’s face. It splattered against the wall. The dog instantly looked towards it, and jumped to the side, sniffing the strange, food-smelling object. Jackie broke into a run, darting past it and over towards the stairs.

“Jesus fucking hell, what is that?!” He shouted, stopping on the landing by the others.

“It’s some kind of monster dog,” Marvin said, as if it was obvious. “Maybe it’s a werewolf? No, it’s not a full moon tonight.”

“Why are its eyes glowing?!” Jackie looked over the landing banister down at the monster dog, which was now licking the pizza off the wall.

“Well I guess there’s more weird stuff around than just ghosts.” Chase tried to laugh off the situation. “But, uh, I bet you believe us now, huh?”

“I...am considering it,” Jackie said slowly. He looked back at the others. “Anyway, are you guys alr—why do you have a knife?!”

Unlike Marvin, Jameson had not grabbed pizza from the kitchen. Instead, he was holding one of the big knives from Mom’s knife block. He looked down at it, shrugged, and signed something—which was pretty dangerous to do while holding a blade.

“I—okay? Fair enough?” Jackie shook his head. “Here, give me that. I think I’ll know how to use it better.” The two of them traded weapons, though Jameson didn’t look too happy about it. “You guys stay behind me, okay? We’re gonna back up. Maybe if we’re out of eyesight, it will lose interest.”

Slowly, the group stepped backwards down the hallway. Every single one of them kept their eyes locked on the monster dog, which was now sniffing around the entrance to the kitchen, until it disappeared from view. They carefully moved into Chase’s bedroom, with Jackie closing the door behind them. He kept one hand on the doorknob, keeping it closed, and the knife clenched in the other hand. Meanwhile, Chase suggested they start making a blanket rope, just in case they had to go out the window. The twins got right on that, but Chase himself just couldn’t. Schneep was still shaking, staring at the door, tensing every time there was a clatter from downstairs. Chase had to stay with him. He just...he just had to.

After a while, the sounds faded. The group was quiet, listening. But five minutes passed, and there was nothing. Jackie slowly opened the door and peered out. He walked into the hallway, and a minute later, shouted, “It’s gone!”

One by one, the four others filed out of the room, through the hall, and down the stairs. Jackie stood in the kitchen entrance, staring at open cabinet doors and spilled food all over the floor. He looked back at the others. “Are you guys alright?”

“Holy shit, it destroyed your kitchen!” Marvin shouted. “I knew it was gonna look for food!”

“We’re alright,” Chase said. “Just, uh...scared. I mean, I’m not scared, duh, but everyone else is.” Schneep was holding tightly onto his arm. He patted his hand awkwardly.

Jackie smiled a little. “Of course.” Then he sighed. “Uh...I called the police. They might be here any minute. What...what do we say?”

“Well. If you didn’t believe us about the ghost, they’re definitely not gonna believe us about the fucking huge dog,” Marvin said.

“Right.” Jackie sighed. “I guess we should just say we didn’t get a good look at it. Except that it was big. We all ran up the stairs before it broke in.” He paused. “I should call your parents. Explain what happened and that we’re alright. But then...what do we do about this?”

Silence. Then, Jameson cleared his throat. He signed something. “JJ thinks we should go back to the library,” Marvin translated. “Because we might be able to figure out what’s going on.”

“Yeah...yeah!” Chase nodded. “Maybe we can get that ghost and ask her some questions. Maybe she knows what the dog was all about!” He nodded faster. “Okay, so tomorrow—”

“Oh, we can’t do it tomorrow,” Marvin interrupted. “We’re going to the animal shelter to pet cats and hang out all day.” Jameson nodded, backing Marvin up. “What about the day after?”

“Sorry, I-I can’t,” Jackie said. “I’m not letting you guys go alone. But the day after tomorrow is, uh...my birthday. And my family’s coming over.”

“Oh, happy birthday,” Chase said. Schneep and Marvin echoed his words, and Jameson signed the same.

Jackie grinned a bit. “Thanks, little guys. So...what about Thursday, then?”

The others exchanged glances. “Uh, that’ll work, I guess,” Chase said.

“Great.” Jackie looked back at the ruined kitchen. He sighed. “I guess I’ll call your parents and then clean this up for your mom. Until the police show up, anyway. What do you guys want to do?”

Nobody said anything. Then, “I want to forget about this,” Schneep mumbled. “Can we play the video game again? And...forget about this?”

“Yeah, we can do that,” Chase said quietly. “What about you two?”

Marvin and Jameson looked at each other, then both nodded. “Sounds good,” Marvin said.

“Okay, then.”

“You guys go do that,” Jackie said. “Don’t worry about this for the rest of the night. I’ll talk to everyone.”

And so, the four of them played video games through all the chaos that followed, slowly relaxing. Until the Jacksons’ parents came to pick them up and Chase’s mom insisted the other two go to bed.

Surprisingly, they fell asleep quickly, drifting off into a dreamless darkness.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #jacksepticeye au #septic egos au #chase brody #dr schneeplestein #jackieboy man #marvin the magnificent #jameson jackson #brigid writes fanfiction #pnptau

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elizapreg · 1 year

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Tale of Alora- Chapter 4: Heading Down

After climbing from the tent, Alora looked around, seeing Benres and Nelia packing up the last few items they had in preparation to move down the mountain. On one of the logs there was a bag with a bit of bread and fruit placed on it. Benres nods to it and says, “Eat up Alora. That’s about the only food we have until we reach the trade post halfway down.” Nodding, Alora sat down and nibbled the food, her mind still thinking back to her dreams of the past the night before. She couldn’t help but chuckle to herself a bit, as she sat eating meager rations off a rag in the middle of a forest, comparing it to the marble, stone, and silver of her upbringing. The baby inside her kicked, snapping her from her daydreaming as she finished the food, placing her hand softly on the place it had kicked she looked over to Benres. “So…. how’d you two sleep?” Benres laughed “I slept well enough I couldn’t really explain…” Stretching a bit as he took down the tent. Nelia was still excitedly bouncing around looking through the supplies before sitting down by Alora. “I slept pretty well. That was a thousand times more comfortable than how I’ve been sleeping the past year. Felt nice to go a whole night without guards waking me or mages looking at me over every hour or so.” Nelia said, cheerfully patting her bump. “I mean, even the little one seems to have gotten its rest.” Alora smirked, rolling her eyes and murmuring to herself “I slept just about as terribly as always…” Standing up, she put the remaining odds and ends into Benres’ pack as he tied the tent to it. Throwing it over his shoulder he nodded at the path descending down the peak. “Shall we?” He asked, Alora grunting as she heaved her unbalanced frame down towards the way. Nelia all but skipping as she moved out ahead. “Nelia!” Alora said after walking a moment, “How are you so energetic? Doesn’t the weight and aches sap it all out of you?” Alora added with surprise, it had only been a few moments, but she could already feel that characteristic soreness spreading through her back and feet, placing her own hands on her lower spine to try and ease the burden the best she could. Turning around and walking backwards, Nelia grabbed her chin, obviously thinking it over, her slender tail swaying side to side as she did. “I don’t know… maybe it's that I’m a bit smaller than you, belly wise? Or since I spent a year locked up and I’m just happy to be free..” She shrugged, holding her belly as she turned and continued to walk on cheerfully. Benres couldn't help but laugh at the sight. “What are you laughing at?” Alora said sharply. “She has a point. She’s quite a bit smaller than yo-OW!” He grabbed his elbow, seeing the small elf cross her arms and point her nose up at him. “She wouldn’t be so slightly smaller than me if you hadn’t done this! Besides,” She put her hands on her hips, “I still don’t trust her. She’s not fooling me with this whole ‘airhead’ act.” “Come on Alora, she hasn’t given us any reason to doubt her. Besides, we have bigger things to worry about.” He said pointing at Alora’s bump. “Remember the whole worsening contraction thing?” Alora sighed, “I know, I know… But I still think that the Empty Valley will at least point us in the right direction without her.” Benres shook his head. “Maybe, maybe not. After we resupply, we won't have much money or anything left. So we’re desperate. She’s our best hope to actually accomplish anything past whatever we find in the ruins.” Looking down the road at their demonic companion, Alora ran her hand up and down the curve of her belly. “I know you’re right… but I don’t like it.” Nelia came running back toward the two, falling in line alongside Benres' right side, as Alora walked on his left. “So how far is this supply post?” “If my memory serves me right, about a half... “ Benres looked at the two pregnant girls slowly waddling on each side of him. “Make that an hour. And then probably another hour to the base where the ruins begin. That leaves us most of the daylight to see what we can find. Speaking of which, do you know much about the ruins? All I know is what was passed down through the tales of my people about the war.” Nelia thought for a moment. “Well… my kind is a bit too proud to talk often of a war we lost… but I often overheard the Demon King referring to whatever he has planned as ‘the Duality of the Lost War.’ I can only assume his goal revolves around whatever the War failed to accomplish. Seeing as the Empty Valley is where the war began to end, it must have some hints towards what he was hoping to accomplish.” Benres nodded along “That makes sense. Seeing how little of my kind survived those dark years, it makes sense our records would be bare about the motives in the War. And the elves don’t seem to be keen on sharing if they still know, do they?” He explained, looking to Alora, her fists clenching at mention of the Elven pattern of secrecy. Nelia tilted her head. “Well, after we look around, why don’t we go ask the elves?” As she said this Benres cringed a bit, slowing down as Alora stormed forward, her fists almost shaking with anger. Nelia walked right by her side, close enough to Alora could feel Nelias hot breath hitting her cheek. “What’s wrong Alora? We can just go there and ask. I know you haven't gone back in some time but-” “NO!” Alora shouted, pushing Nelia away. “You seem to have already forgotten the fact that I cannot go back! They turned their back on me for upsetting their ‘traditions’ and now I’m outcast! So don’t you go telling me to go back and see those cursed people ever again! I’d live the rest of my life in one endless contraction before I set foot in that city again!” She marched off down the road, getting out ahead of Benres and Nelia to cool off, holding her belly as her baby thrashes about, set in motion by her outburst. “Why don’t you ask the demons for help you stupid…” Her mumbling became unintelligible. As Alora rushed ahead, Nelia stood in shock watching the elf girl storm off. Benres put a hand on her shoulder, looking her in the eye. “Don’t worry, she’ll cool off. I should have probably mentioned the elves were a… touchy.. Subject.” He chuckled. “We best keep moving. We don’t want her getting too far ahead of us do we?” Nelia just nodded, her face red with embarrassment as she walked deflated alongside Benres. “Sorry I got her all wound up…” She said, looking over to the human male. “I wouldn’t worry. It doesn’t take much to get that tiny thing in a knot.” He explained, looking at Alora grumbling to herself down the road. “Speaking of which, I guess it’s best to ask this while she can’t hear me.” Nelia nervously twiddled her fingers, “Why is she so small? I spend my life hearing how the elves were great warriors, and they basically single handedly won the war… Not that you humans are bad… or ….” Benres laughed, scratching the back of his head. “Well… I don’t actually know. She’s the only elf I’ve ever seen. I figured they were all small. But the same question goes to you. In all the tales of my people, Demons are hulkish monstars, able to take out legions of men with a single blow.” Nelia laughed right back. “I mean, if I’m about as tall as you, then even the most imposing demons I’ve seen would probably be about a foot taller, enough to take out a Legion? I’m not so sure. Maybe your folktales have embellished it a bit.” Benres shrugged, “Maybe so, I’m pretty average when it comes to my kind. Alora.. Is quite sensitive about her size… so it’d make sense for her to be small in comparison, now that you mention it. As to why, only she could say…. Asking about that though,” He grimaced “you probably wouldn’t live to tell the tale.” Turning the corner up ahead, Alora saw the trading post, and having somewhat cooled down, waved and shouted back to the other two. “Hey! It's the post! I’m gonna head inside and clean myself off a bit.” Benres gave her the thumbs up and she headed into the post. Benres walked over to the owner, and began bargaining for supplies as Nelia headed in after Alora. Finding her in the washroom, Alora was wiping the dust and dirt from her face, doing her best to tame her wild hair. Seeing Nelia come in behind her, Alora said nothing, acting like the demon wasn’t there. “Hey.. I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I shouldn't have made assumptions about something I didn’t understand.” She said, as Alora continued to ignore her. Sighing, Nelia turned to use the other mirror, but stopped to look herself over in the mirror. “Wow… Is that what I look like?” Alora chuckled a bit, but kept trying to ignore Nelia. Walking closer to the mirror, Nelia’s gaze is locked on her own bump. “It's like I’m looking at-” “Someone else.” Alora interrupted, walking into the reflection next to Nelia. “I know exactly what you mean. It’s one thing to look down and see it, and feel it always there.” Turning to the side Alora ran her hand under the bump, the fabric of her gown tight against the massive swell. “But seeing it in a mirror kinda takes you out of that and makes you really understand what it makes you look like..” Nelia smiled, wrapping her arms around her smaller belly. “Yeah… I guess that’s a good way to put it… But that wasn’t actually what I meant.” Alora looked over, confused. Nelia pointed at the reflection’s face. I haven't seen myself in over a year, but you don’t forget your own face. I still see the same white hair, granted they kept cutting it all off while I was a prisoner.” she said, pouting a bit as her hand ran through her short white locks. “I see the same silly face I’ve seen for years….” “So what’s the problem? Just missing your hair?” Alora asked, annoyed at the weird way Nelia was explaining herself. “Oh yeah… the problem… demon eyes are red, every member of our race has red eyes…. So why are mine green now?

#pregocs #taleofalora

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hrtsmom · 12 days

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“Perhaps this time I will not suffer,” Ghirt began.

But Chena interrupted him. “Hush now! She will wake. We will discuss this elsewhere.”

When they had gone, Alupa slipped back into sleep. And when she woke in the morning, she remembered what she had heard only as a vague dream.

More days passed, and then weeks. From time to time Alupa thought of Wolsin, and of the village she had left behind. But she barely missed the village, and she was more than happy to be rid of her husband. She felt quite content to be where she was, with the two people who had already become her fast friends.

Still Alupa stayed away from the windows of the house that gave a view of the village. And when Chena went there to buy food on market day, Alupa declined to go along. She was still afraid to see Wolsin again, and she wasn’t sure that even Ghirt could protect her from her husband’s wrath.

Meanwhile, she found herself more and more attracted to her handsome host. And although it still seemed he kept some secrets from her, she felt sure Ghirt had grown fond of her as well. He found any excuse he could to be with her – alone, if possible. He even seemed to smile more readily for her than he did for his sister. But even though they spent many hours alone together, talking or just watching the sea and its inhabitants from the veranda, he still insisted on always having his morning swim alone. And somehow Alupa didn’t dare to ask him why.

Summer passed into fall, and the storms began. The house in the stone tower, which had felt so open and airy during the warmth of summer, now became a cozy retreat. Ghirt closed off some of the windows with storm shutters, and built fires in the fireplaces at night. Alupa much preferred her new home now, compared to the drafty cottage in the village. Even when the waves rose high at night, the stone house was a secure refuge.

One night, during a particularly fierce storm, Alupa stood just inside the doorway to the veranda, watching the black sky as rain poured down to thrash the waves below. Every so often thunder boomed and lightning stabbed at the sea. Alupa felt swept up in the wildness of it all, yet at the same time glad she was inside, and not out there in the rain.

The room was dark, illuminated only by the dim glow of the fire behind her and the erratic flashes of lightning. Alupa gasped, startled, as one of those flashes revealed a dark figure standing beside her. For an instant she was sure her husband had discovered her at last. But then she relaxed as she recognized Ghirt's face.

He smiled reassuringly. “I didn’t mean to frighten you, Alupa. Are you unable to sleep tonight? Did the storm disturb you?”

“No, it didn’t disturb me,” she told him, gazing with fascination at the play of lightning, firelight and shadows over his finely angled features. “It draws me, somehow. I’m not sure I know why.”

Ghirt nodded, as if to say he understood what she couldn’t explain. “How strange, that the sea can be so still and quiet one day, and so savage the next,” he said. “Although the same can be said of some people as well.”

“Wolsin was always savage, never still and quiet,” Alupa found herself saying bitterly. Immediately she regretted having mentioned her husband. She didn’t want to remember that she was still married, nor did she want to remind Ghirt of it.

Ghirt shook his head, his expression saddened. “A man who so abuses his wife has no right to her – nor should he be called a man,” he said at last. “But Alupa, I must know this one thing, and I hope you will not be offended that I ask. Why did you marry this beast?”

Alupa sighed. She was not offended by the question, but afraid of what Ghirt might think of her when she answered. “I had little choice,” she said at last. “He was willing to offer a higher dowry for me than any other man – and no other man would dare to try, once he declared his interest. A woman without a husband is worthless in my village, since she will not have children. And she is suspect as well.”

#fiction #fantasy #fantasy adventure #The Throne of the Sun #The Selkie's Bride #indie author #I made this

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soupirsolaire · 1 year

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Nayeon was worried. Her hands tried to load all the folders at once, and the files she got were from random years. It was too strange, how could a company of that size not archive its documents, counts and data on a server or software? We are in the age of technology, it is not possible that they only used the iron lockers on the twelfth floor. She spent the rest of the day reading the data and turning it into digital documents, using the copier on the floor where her desk was set up in a few hours her work hadn't even started yet, after all she still had to interpret all the data and show everything to miss Myoui until the next day. The office slowly emptied, some of the staff seemed just as overwhelmed as she was at the moment, she couldn't help but be glad she was putting her skills to use. As soon as she could, she sat down on the chair and managed to read some reports, demarcating important information and codifying each scope, inputs, outputs, inventory and production.

It was very strange how high the entries were, according to the documents the company would have at least four times more stock than sales, which did not match the actual available stock. Nayeon believed she had already seen this type of error in the reports of fictitious companies that Professor Stewart taught about, the subject focused on how to locate tax fraud and internal theft, in order to track down the person responsible and sue for justice while keeping the company on its feet. He didn't know whether to finish the reports or already show his boss what he indicated was responsible for the low profitability of the last year. Did she know what was going on? If the answer was yes, why would she wait for a newbie to discover this and give her a conffirmation? It was odd. She looked quickly at her phone monitor to see how fast the time had passed by, her stomach ached in plea for food, it was ten past nine and she hadn’t food since the quick lunch in the cafeteria. Maybe her place wasn’t really there, maybe the boss new she wouldn’t make but wanted to show her she wasn’t able to achieve the mission. She was annoyed, hungry and deeply tired. The cold room now looked totally empty, the last employee, Mrs. George had left an hour earlier, and she felt like falling asleep in that silcence, maybe listening to music could lift her brain up so she could keep going. Looking quickly at her phone she played her favorite singer Dove Cameron songs, singing quietly under her breath she could relax a little bit. Immerse in all the data in her computer Nayeon couldn’t listen to the elevator ring sinalizing the arrival of someone on the office floor, soft steps each one as quiet as a cat walking to its prey, a slender hand touched her shoulder, by a milisecond the younger jumped and let a little scream leave her mouth, turning her head quickly she could see Miss General Myoui, looking down at her in a not so nice face.

- Why are you still here? - She seriously questioned, looking beyond the employee head, the papers were clearly reorganized by folder, she was impressed by the newbie interest in doing such an difficult, mostly impossible, job. - You should go home. You can finish this tomorrow.

Maybe she was trying to show off. Mina wasn’t really impressed, a single sailor could not save a whole ship. Instead, she was sure the younger didn’t knew that, cute trying so hard, yet so far away of doing enough. She smiled at the frozen face wating for an answer.

- Well, I thought the deadline due was tomorrow, so I had to finish it all today. - She spoke cautiously, explaining the obvious. - I am almost finishing, as you can see-

- Tomorrow. I don’t have time now. You have 48 hours more if thats not enough, but I wait for the early ones. Do you understand? - The older said, as walking back to the ellevator, Nayeon looked at the long legs walking so softly as she left the office, it was almost like her boss was floating away, a little mesmerized she was taken aback by the sound of the metallic doors closing. She let a loud breath slip out of her mouth.

She was annoyed. Maybe it was obvious she can’t send the results that night, still she was working hard enough to be appreciated or at least not scolded for working. She wasn’t sure but it seemed that Mrs. Myoui was just that harsh. It was maybe her personality and she had to keep her head up. That sallary wasn’t the best one, but MHo Co. was. She will definitely feel proud of herself while sending some money home, to help her parents with home expenses, she was a really good daughter indeed, never looked for problem, her relationship with her mother was the best it could be, they weren't the closest but she felt like she could trust Seomin with pretty much everything. Likewise even though her father wasn't the most communicative person in the world he would find a way of showing his love to his child by cooking her favorite stew or not sending her any complaints about her lack of interest in getting married soon. She let a high sigh left her mouth, while going in the elevator direction she thought about how hard the first day there was, she felt like one of those students working as the professor's assistant and half time almost dying of a hard routine of overworking. Her mind wandered around her day, her boss maybe wasn't really an easy person but she felt ready for Mrs. Myoui to keep demanding her work so she could show her she was the best choice.

Looking at her phone she opened the chat with her friend Jaz, Jaz was her best friend since middle school, together with Kwangwan they were an inseparable trio. She sent a voice message complaining about how cold it was in the capital at that hour, her new blazer didn't shelter her from the breeze that ran and gnawed at her face and shoulders with an icy kiss, she cursed herself when she remembered that because she was late she didn't have time to put them on thicker socks and an overcoat. Maybe the next day she would be able to prepare better, she had a small impression that her week would improve after her first day With her hands tucked in her blazer pocket, she got on the yellow bus that would take her a few streets ahead, from there she would walk to get to the residential complex where she lived. He lived as modest a life as he could live, the building didn't even have a garage for its residents, after all, no one there could afford a car. She chose to go up the three flights of stairs, and while still talking to Jaz, she was able to tell her about her first day at work, her friend listened excitedly to each word recorded on the audios, proud of the oldest. Her hands reached for the keys, opening the door and removing the uncomfortable shoes that had sheltered her feet all day, after a long hot shower and her routine skincare she sat in the sofa scrolling your phone's screen through the Instagram homepage. She thought about the day she had and how direct her boss was, it was almost as if she didn't see that she was dealing with people, she thought that was typical of rich people who think they are too much. Despite being beautiful, she even exuded a clumsiness with people, especially because she was unable or unwilling to have good manners and give kind words.Nayeon researched her superior's name without thinking too much about what she was looking for, the social network showed a closed profile with few followers, the profile picture showed her delicate face, almost angelic in a pose that suggested a half smile below the name, written CEO. What a show off, everyone knows she owns the company.

She knew she would need to arrive much earlier than before to be able to stay on the job, so she set ten different alarms for the time she was supposed to wake up.After brushing her teeth and making some ramen to settle her stomach, she lay down on the warm bed in the small apartment. If she survived that week, she would party wildly with Jaz and Kwangwan. Before closing his eyes completely to sleep, he heard his cell phone vibrate on the bedside table, out of pure curiosity he could read:

Mrs. Myoui

Location

Tomorrow 8:30. Bring me my coffee.

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alopiidae · 1 year

Text

i wrote a recount of what happened this summer

this is the public version, if u know me or we’re mutuals u can dm me if you want more details. hell anyone can ask about more as long as its not work related

after a long job search, I managed to land a temporary position at a park featuring a natural wonder and I'd totes dox myself if I said anything about it. I'm cool with sharing details in DMs with people I know are legit watchers and whatnot buuuut there's people that I don't want to be able to find my trail and just saying as much as I will would be identifying enough haha.

The job itself was great, the site was gorgeous. The problem was that it was in a small town and I had to move there. And there was only one place to move to. I actually looked at another place too but it was 50 minutes away... and well. for 750$ a month, i could rent a tiny room (or the "harry potter room", a windowless room featuring ancient posters of daniel radcliffe and a literal broom on the wall) in a run-down family estate, that was once a secret resort. there were holes in the deck, taxidermy all over every wall, and invitations to family dinner. the host explained the resort history as we looked out to the helicopter pad island in the lake. guests like oj simpson and the prime minister had stayed there back in the day.

anyway the other place was 600$ for a room in a bungalow 2 minutes away from work. Sounds normal, right? Oh, what could have been...

My boss actually asked one of my references if I could live in a house or something. I thought he was weird to do that, but well, maybe he was just tuned into the flow of time or whatever. My landlord rented out the rooms of the house separately, so I did not know my roommates prior to moving in together. A fun fact for later is that my landlord did not run a background check on any of us.

We had, besides myself:

- Landlord's employee, a deeply traumatized woman who did not care what I knew about her. Let's call her R.

- Her irresponsible on-off fiancé. The two of them lived downstairs so we didn't need to see each other much. He shall be C.

- Roommates were a couple. One was G, a man the age of my father who was visibly recovering from a meth addiction...

- And N, his fiancée not too much older than me. A fun fact about her was that she would be making noises constantly. It was baffling.

My roommates would buy something new every day despite having no money. They let food go bad all the time. They watched TV so loud it was like there was a shootout in the dining room, and they reacted to it like it was real. The downstairs neighbors were loud and didn't care what we saw. But I didn't care! I actually liked my job and everything was fine for a whole almost three weeks!

By the end of those three weeks, I knew something was coming. I didn't know what it'd be, from home or work, but I just had this feeling like there was another shoe about to drop that didn't go away, even when it came out one of my coworkers was charged with something reaaaaally bad. That wasn't personal enough.

Literally the next day after I expressed this sentiment to some people at work, my roommates left in a huff and I got a text from my landlord threatening to kick me out if I spent more than 15 minutes in the bathroom at a time. Which is insane even if you don't factor in how I'm chronically ill, the fact that I get out or don't go in if I know someone else may have to, and the fact that she'd been up for two hours already that morning. And I promise I didn't wreck the thing LOL. Sharing a bathroom was THE thing I was most worried about when faced with a roommate situation, it's always been something that stresses me out and EVERY TIME I've had to move out it involved adding to the stress (public bathrooms at my last job, composting toilets practically in the middle of a public kitchen at the one before), and the fact that they went to the landlord before saying anything to me had me very worked up and panicky at work.

Then I got called into my boss's office.

I had no idea what it was about and was still trying to not be too paranoid or whatever so I didn't think it'd be anything bad until I looked... They'd gotten an email about me saying that I was using slurs and vulgar language to the guests and not talking about the site, that I smell, and expressing distaste over my ambiguous gender. It called for my immediate termination.

The email address... was my roommate N's full name at gmail dot com. I hadn't heard her surname at that point but that was first and middle and too much of a coincidence that it was the same day. My boss physically tracked down my landlord since he wasn't picking up, and confirmed it was her email. So, thank god she was stupid enough to use that address LOL, I swear to god if I got fired for that...

Naturally I was freaked out. I went back to grab some of my stuff (no one went with me but I wanted to go during work hours so someone would at least notice if I disappeared lol) and she was in the shower so we yelled at each other until G stepped in. She was holding my toothbrush hostage n shit lol. I took what I could and went back to work since I had no where else to go. Eventually, my dad took the long drive down and we stayed at a shitty motel since it was the only thing open while trying to work things out with my landlord. We also looked up N by her full name and found out she'd been charged with assault with a weapon on a teenager a few years ago (and responded to the article about it with LMAO), so that put things into perspective a little more.

Me, dad, and landlord went and met with G who allegedly had no idea what was going on. Never saw a man that broken. He admitted she was physically hurting him too, he had some deep scars on his scalp. She was apparently having a mental health episode which tracks but that's a bit too far for me. They were given a while to move out but in the meantime, it wasn't safe for me to be there, so I put most of my stuff in my car, and my dad took the rest to my uncle's. Apparently while I was gone, N was extra annoying to R and C. R apparently heard N say I did 10 loads of laundry at once?? And that R smokes and plays loud music, which is true, but N also smokes and played loud TV so that was stupid.

So I went to work and somehow carried on in my public-facing job like normal even though I didn't even know where I'd sleep that night, which I think was strong of me. It was planned that I'd go to my uncle's and just do a long commute, but he admitted he wasn't in a good headspace for guests, so he and my parents collectively ended up putting me back in that motel for 10 days.

Let's do the five senses for this experience, okay?

- Touch: the feeling of rough carpet on your legs when you exhaustedly wipe out after removing your work clothes and don't wanna get the bed dirty.

- Sight: stained walls, microwave stacked on top of a mini fridge, dated everything.

- Taste: dried out microwaved oatmeal and watery half-cooked instant ramen.

- Smell: my socks drying waaaay too slow, surprised I found no mold, really.

- Sound: all the most annoying whiny Simple Plan songs in the folder of random music I stole off my dad's computer, to accentuate the misery, and how the wifi didn't fucking work.

I checked the bed, and joked that they had every kind of bug except bed bugs (I think we all know where this is going but we'll save it for later). There was a shop where you could get like, the random junk that's in the average grandma's closet on the floor. The guy who ran the place was unsettling. The restaurant was bad enough I didn't go a second time. There was no parking lot, you just drove into the lawn. At least they had a pool. Not a good one, but better than nothing when you're on your feet in the blazing sun 8 hours a day.

When N and G did leave, I thankfully had the foresight to not cancel my last night booked at the place. They left the place a MESS (more on that later). This resulted in the incredibly rare instance where it was wise to pour the milk in before the cereal; I poured milk into a container and left it in the motel fridge so I could put the milk in the apartment fridge instead of taking it to work the next day when I checked out before my shift.

Anyway. The place had been a mess when I FIRST moved in before N and G did. I had to scrub everything. There was dog hair in the fridge and this like, layer of rot and yellowedness on practically everything. So I was pissed I had to do it again, since they left lots of wonderful things like;

- Used kitty litter

- Cigarette ashes on my mattress

- Rotting liquid spinach in My side of the fridge, after I'd been declining their polite offers for me to eat it previously

- Lots of random shit and garbage. I did get some unopened food and houseplants out of it, though that doesn't make up for... the everything else. I also discovered they'd stolen some of my snacks, and a drawer full of stuff I missed. It ended up costing about 1500$ in damages between the items, motel, and clean-up effort.

They'd also been insisting they were cleaning when I asked what chores I should do around the house when things were normal. Interesting how much whiter everything got after I cleaned it again.

I hung out with R and C and it was a little crazy. More of N's crimes and issues, things that implicated R in crimes (she's done time haha), trying to steal a guy for me from his gf (we ain't doin that), R realizing her bisexuality, lots of real deep talk, aaaand the fact there was mice in the house. More on that bit later.

I went home for a visit and got some stuff to keep the mice off my food. I crashed hard emotionally because going home does that to me, makes me feel like I'm not getting anywhere. By this point I was exhausted from work. I hiked about 40km a week, was on my feet and in the sun all day. It was good but hard. And keeping up with the housework was very hard as well. I had the whole thing to myself, and my landlord, to try and make things up to me, didn't let anyone else move in while I was still there and didn't charge me for one of the months. I was too wiped to do anything besides keep everything clean, and myself fed.

I spent an entire day off cleaning so I'd be free the next day. My last task was putting my bedding back on. When I was done, I sat down, and I saw a funny green bug I didn't recognize. My pal avery got real fixated on figuring out what it was, and eventually went to reddit for an ID.

They said it was a masked hunter nymph, an immature assassin bug. Then he said to me, he didn't wanna tell me what else they'd said... that they primarily feed on bed bugs.

So the next day I took everything off my bed, checked the whoooole thing for eggs, blood, bugs...

And there was One Dead Bug, between the mattress and boxspring. One.

The landlord nearly cried on the phone. My mother manifested in my home and poured HEAPING AMOUNTS OF DIATOMS (literally just supposed to lightly dust it) on the floor, and basically we spent the WHOLE DAY STEAM CLEANING AND VACUUMING only for the landlord to get back like 'yeah a company will come and do a treatment tomorrow' so I had to REMOVE all the diatomaceous earth ALONE with no vacuum, which is hell, and prepare everything to essentially be sprayed with pesticides.

Man I was tired BEFORE I had to vacuum five days in a row and do all my laundry every treatment. All my stuff was in trash bags. I was pretty miserable and bitter, but I did manage to get out swimming one day which was nice. One night I managed to accidentally stab myself and set off the fire alarm within minutes of each other.

Now, back to the mouse. I'd never really had to deal with mice, we had one once when I was like 10. I see em outside all the time, no problem, but it's very different to have it inside and know you have to GET IT. They are very cute. I screamed. I threw a frying pan. Somehow R and C didn't wake up. I eventually caught it in a bowl, dumped it in a trash bag, and started walking, unable to bring myself to kill it. Eventually I heard an owl call, and decided that fate would have its way, and let the mouse go. When I returned... there was a second mouse. I didn't catch it, but I didn't see another the whole time. My boss liked to make jokes about the frying pan thing in front of the guests. By now, most of my coworkers my age left for school so I didn't have many people to talk to at work aside from the guests. Man do I have weird encounter stories about them, ahaha. My coworkers had drama too, that I was not involved in.

C was very unhelpful during the bug treatments. The first one, I was trying to give them time to get laundry done too, but neither came back til after dark. When I tried to explain to him his clothes were covered in pesticides, he said "you seem agitated" and offered me a hit of his joint. These people are in their 40s btw. They fought often. Every time C fucked something up, R would escalate it to being about how he'd left her before/the other woman. Eventually, he snapped and started getting physical about it. Kept me up all night once and I was so tired at work, I leaned on a rock and fell enamored with how it was supporting me for a solid while. After he was similarly irresponsible following another bug treatment, they fought, she locked him out, and he literally kicked the door in. They broke up, but then it was time for a HURRICANE!

I did good at prepping for the hurricane and managed to not lose any food over the 2 and a half days between my ice collection and C's generator, which he fueled by smoking btw. I got a couple days off from work, during which I... sat in the dark. Listened to R and C reconcile, carnally. And shower by pouring cold kettles of water in my hair. Goooood tiiiiiimes. When I got back to work I got to see a powerline explode! C did leave afterwards. I wish them both therapy.

For the sake of not writing too much, I'll leave it there, but I did go home after the park closed for the season, a few weeks short of me being EI eligible despite having to move to an area with fewer jobs to get one and having a disability with an astronomically high unemployment rate. I still think about it all a lot. I'm like, haunted man. Now I have to get another job?! I'm interviewing for something close to my childhood dream job on Tuesday, and I'm very intimidated. I really just feel like going back to my art right now tbh lol...

#long post #includes hits such as why i poured milk in before the cereal #a household of five where literally every person was kicked or chased out at some point #falling in love with a conglomerate rock #domestic violence addictions infestations #series of phat Ls

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isolt-black · 2 years

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torockó (remastered)

sábado, 8 de mayo de 2021

20:34 , original date

Part 1: diaries

I can't begin to explain how I felt during that weekend.

April 29th, R and my fellow roomates had just finished work. We were chatting in the kicsi (small) house of the youth centre.

She told us about her weekend plans and how she wanted to visit her great grandad's house in Torockó.

We were planning to have a trip to Marosvásárhely, but it got cancelled.

R knew about this and she decided to invite us to join her.

We accepted the purpose, we were really into it. And that was the best decision we could've ever made.

The trip started the next day, on Saturday. The three of us woke up really early to visit the farmer's market. I was really tired that day in the morning, so I decided to get a little bit more of sleep and didn't go out with them.

I woke up at a decent hour in order to feel rested enough and I had breakfast.

To be honest, I had blurry feelings in my head, I really wasn't in the mood to join the excursion.

I get these kind of contradictory feelings really often. Nevertheless, I usually know how to deal with them and I knew I had to force myself into the experience.

We drove for almost three hours to have lunch at R's granpa's. It was a traditional post soviet kicsi house. They had a beautiful garden and such nice views. I met R's mom and grandad. They were so nice people and I couldn't really talk to them but L was there, translating for us.

We had amazing food for lunch, acompannied with, of course, pálinka.

It was already time to head out so we said goodbye and got back into the car.

We drove for almost two hours until we got to Torockó. It was a very sunny day and I couldn't believe it was that hot!

We entered into R's great grandad's house. It was a small wooden rural house, with a big garden and a great landscape. The insides were really old and I felt like in a movie. It was so great to see all the old fortniture and pictures.

We were expecting rain but someone was by our side and the sunrays were hotter than ever. So why not hike up to the top of that beautiful rock standing 1,129m above?

We started the treck up to the rock. We had to cross a beautiful flower field to get to the feet of the big rock.

It was so steep and I could already picture myself getting to the top.

Part 2: love

The top of that rock. I don't remember wanting so bad to reach to somewhere as much as I did to the summit of Székelykő.

My heart was beating really fast and my whole body was moved for the aim of hunger to reach the sky. It was only 1'1 Km high, but I spread my arms as if I had reached the top of the world.

The warm air, the wide vision of the marvelous landscape in front of my bare eyes and this feeling of belonging I will never be able to explain through words. I think that's how true love feels.

As if there was an actual god out there I felt how the world was talking to me, loving me as much as I love it. I looked up to the sky and smiled through the sunrays across my face.

Deep breath, I'm alive.

I look at my hands, I move my fingers <<just like a dream>>. I was sitting on the top of this stones, the hungarian flag painted on it was shining.

Is there anything love can't still do?

I got down and touched the warm earth, the grass and its stones.

''This is where I live''

I am a human being and I can't help it but love, and that's my strongest weapon.

This is the reason I was born, I never had a doubt, not a single one. Because I knew it before I even knew you. Because I know that everytime I look at the sky I can only love so hard. And I can't do nothing about it but desiring to unravel all the mysteries of the universe.

Because I spent nights in my room crying about you and now I know better than ever you will always be by my side.

You, my biggest weakness and my reason to live.

I had been sleeping for such a long time that I had to actually come to you to realise I'm still alive.

I was writing a poem while looking at you, as I always do.

Because you have no counciousness, but you are alive in my soul.

You live in me, I owe you my life. I want to know how the story ends but I'm scared oh mother nature. Love me back.

At the top of that castle I was like God, ruling the world, I was the protagonist and I saw my soul reflected on the landscape.

I was sitting on this rock which felt like a throne. My right hand was resting on other rock and I was floating up there.

I saw a tiny doggo walking by, he looked like a mop and I laughed a little.

My eyes met the piatra again, and I felt free.

''So i did it huh''

And of course I did.

Back in R's gret grandad's old house the only lights lighting up the alleys were the street lights.

The wind was blowing and Székelykő was standing in front of me. Folk music was playing and I could feel myself becoming a child again. I approached smiling towards the sleeping giant and looked up, it was a big high dark silhouette. The stray dog passing by was looking at me and i smiled at him.

Touching the rock i was sitting on with bear hands.

I put my headphones on and remembered even all the stars wouldn't be enough for my hungry soul. Unravelling the world would take me a thousand lives, wouldn't it?

''I still have hope, if i know how to dig deeper''

But do i know how?

Looked up at Székelykő again, how beautiful can you get?

I was, indeed, in one of my dreams again.

The fancy hotel in front of me looked excatly like one of the scenarios i had dreamt about long ago.

So yeah, I was dreaming.

Guess I have already mentioned that fortress, haven't I?

Well, that castle, the next day we went up to the hill where it was standing. I I was picturing every scenario of the battles that had occured centuries ago by caressing those old walls.

Euphoria would be the best word to describe it.

But not even that feeling is close to the one I was experimenting.

It was again sunny, but this time windy, and my long hair was flying in the big wave of air as I entered to one of the towers. There were four narrow walls drawing a square around me. A lot of bushes were growing on the ground, and you could see the big ''windows'' in which the wind was aggresevily going throughout.

I remembered why I hate so much the wind, and the reason is because it's the most powerful element out of all four. It has so much power that it could brign down anyone just by being blown hard enough. But in that moment, I was loving it. The physics of that tower were so narrow that the atoms of the air would bounce on every of the four walls creating a magnificient wind spiral.

''Spread your arms and let the wind fullfil your soul''

And that's exactly what I did.

I directed my view to the main tower. It was high enough to make up a fairytale in my mind. Naturally, I had to check it out. I needed to climb a bit to get up there, but, oh, that just made it so much better. The insides of the big tower were narrow and really high, you could see the holes they used for spying.

''You were smart people huh''

After all, we are human and we have this unique intelligence that no one else posseses on Earth.

As far as we know.

''I won't ever have enough''

That's a life sentence, of death or the total opposite.

Both.

I know what I want and who I need.

That's just me, I'm the answer. I have always been.

I know you will always be by my side, no matter how this ends. And I say this too often but I can't help it, it's the truth that keeps me alive.

I could have never imagined I would try to become what I admired the most.

I remember talking to mom about how much I wished I was smart enough to make it. And I don't even remember how but I decided to give me a chance. Which has brought me where I am today.

All those ''I believe in you'' I heard meant so much to me. No one did, not even me, but people that didn't even know me did. As stupid as it sounds, that was lifesaving.

Now I have to find the way to believe in myself again.

''I'll never love again'' by Lady Gaga. Yeah, that could sum it up.

Vivid memoried from a very young age. Since the first time I took that book from the shelf, not even that. Since my first ever thought.

I know destiny doesn't exist, but sometimes I wish I could rewrite the stars.

"How can we rewrite the stars?

'Cause you are the one I was meant to find."

Perhaps, I never lost myself.

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kirishwima · 3 years

Text

do you ever remember how many people have shown you kindness throughout your life and realize that maybe life isn't that bad sometimes

#i just passed by the house of a girl i used to know years ago #she dropped out after the first year of uni but we were friends while she was here #and i remember how i was struggling really bad with my ednos at the time #and one day i got into a fight with my mom over it and the next day we had a 5am shift at the hospital and her house is close by #and she called me over and i was crying on the phone and she was so calm she just said come over and hang up #she was always really weird and eccentric but i kind of appreciated that tbh? so i went over #and she had cooked her moms traditional recipe and told me the story behind it and its roots #(she was from israel but i cant remember what the food was called)#and i started crying and came out to her about my eating disorder and how scared food made me and she was just so patient and nice #and we spent hours she explained how food is more than just that its a way to bring people closer and thats how we came to the convo of #her moms recipe if i remember right idk its a little blurry #and i slept on her couch and she woke me up with coffee and breakfast and i was still sad #i still had severe untreated depression afterall but that gesture was the kindest thing #yeah ill never forget that kindness tbh she helped #more than she could ever know tbh i hope shes well-she had no social media so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#people can be kind if you let them #i gotta remind myself of that sometimes #burrito talks #not fandom related #delete later

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slothgiirl · 3 years

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the medic (keith x reader)

17k. something weird’s going on with keith, like alien weird. as the team medic, you’re concerned.

“So he is avoiding me,” you muse aloud, grabbing one of the pink alien food biscuits that were Hank’s latest experiment. Though it had been hours since Voltron had taken out the Galra Empire’s presence on this Balmera, you’d only just seen the last of your patients. Altean medical equipment did wonders.

After a battle, you were hardly surprised to find Hank in the kitchen, grounding himself as he cooked. You were surprised to run into Keith.

“Yeah,” Hank nods, “Probably trying to avoid another dental exam.”

You flush bright red, “His teeth fell out! Sorry for being concerned.” Between you and Lance, you’d managed to get a look at Keith. A fist fight with some alien species that was cooperating with the Galra had not gone Keith’s way, knocking out two of his teeth.

Shiro, predictably, had waved it off and accepted Keith’s insane explanation that his teeth would grow back on their own without question: given his hand waving of the red paladin’s eyes glowing slightly in the dark, more than any human’s should (human eyes didn’t glow at all!). Hindsight was twenty twenty.

The yellow paladin shrugs as he mixes orange noodle-esque things in a bowl.

Team Voltron was full of strong personalities. Add in Lotor and his friends dropping in, there was always something going on.

Hank just wanted to unwind from spending the past few hours destroying heavy duty mining equipment without hurting the planet. “So how are the biscuits?”

You chew on one, still bothered by Keith. Maybe Hank was right and he was trying to hide something from your keen gaze. You hoped not. Knowing the red paladin, and after two years in space, you certainly did, he’d rather suffer in silence until there was no other option than get medical attention. Back on earth with needles and scalpels, you understood, but in the Castle of Lions…

“Kind of like a rice cracker,” you tell Hank helpfully. “In a good got snacks at H-Mart way, not the sad quaker oats rice snacks.”

“Oh H-Mart,” Hunk smiles, “they don’t have those in space. They do have salt though. Found that at the last market we went to.”

“As long as alien food doesn’t poison us,” you comment. It was lucky that hadn’t happened. It was alien food. But not one negative reaction which either made humans some of the most hardy species or you were just lucky.

“Yeah,” Hunk chuckles, “I’ve gotten pretty good at recognizing what’s edible and not. I know Pidge said there’s some books, but my Altean is pretty bad.”

“Languages are hard.”

“Wish there was a space version of google translate.”

“Hunk-”

“Yeah.”

“That’s genius!” You look at the yellow paladin, wondering how a universe with speech translators never thought to do the same for written language.

“I know,” Hunk smiles while popping another tray into the oven.

—————

Lance finishes painting your toenails. It was a rare day when there were no space battles or rebel meetings. “Pidge,” the blue paladin whines, “let me paint your-”

“Don’t even think about it!”

“It’s supposed to be team bonding night,” Lance counters.

“Lance,” Allaura frowns from where she’s sitting with Shiro, “the castle’s night cycle has not started.”

“Well we can change it,” he counters, “there’s no up or down in space. OR day or night.”

“You can paint my nails,” Hunk offers. “Won’t last long though between the cooking and the vents I’ve been cleaning. This is a 10,000 year old castle. No offence,” he glances at Allura.

“No offence at all. The battles have taken their toll and I’m sure Coran appreciates the help. He is only one man.” She lets out a sigh. The only other remaining Altean was a bittersweet subject for her.

Hunk kicks off his shoes. “My pleasure. Literally. This Castle is so cool. The artificial gravity alone!”

You watch the paint dry on your toes. Only your big toes had actual drawings on them, strange alien creatures you’d all encountered over your time in space. The others were clear with green and blue swirls. “You’re a good artist Lance.”

The blue paladin winks, “I’m a regular old Michaelangelo.”

You laugh, “of course you are.”

“And I’m not just good with a brush,” he wiggles his eyebrows, more boyish flirting than anything serious.

You roll your eyes.

Pidge throws a cushion at Lance. “Oh please like you’ve got past the first date!”

“I have! Vivian Tran from Calculus.”

“Can you focus on my nails,” Hunk asks, but Lance is busy waving the thin brush in hand as he argues with Pidge.

“And Atticus from Cantonese.”

“Didn’t you drop that class,” Hank asks.

“Well, the hindi teacher was way nicer and didn’t hate me. I was good at drawing the characters though.”

“Can you speak hindi,” you ask, having taken French for your language fulfillment.

“Eh-” Lance shrugs.

“Can you flirt in Hindi is the real question,” you ask with a grin.

“He can’t even flirt in English,” Pidge points out scathingly.

“Hey!”

“My nails Lance,” Hunk grumbles.

“Right. Right,” Lance focuses back on his task, going with a yellow that matches Shay. “What language did you take Shiro?”

“English.”

“How many dialects does Earth have,” Allura asks.

“A lot,” Shiro tells the alien princess. “The Garrison pushes being multilingual in its program. Most cadets were already bilingual to start with, generally covering major languages.”

“Ah.”

“Got bored of the training room,” Pidge asks Keith as he walks in, flopping down on an empty sofa.

“It timed out.”

“Sure,” Lance immediately starts, a dog with a bone, “not like you couldn’t beat it or anything.”

“You can’t even get past level 9!” Keith growls back, sitting up with a jolt, skin still slick from sweat and his cheeks were flushed with exertion.

Lance gets up, puffing out his chest. Oh boy, here they go again. The rivalry thing they had going on got old fast to everyone around them. While it did push them to be better paladins, it was annoying to hear. “Oh like you’re any better.”

Hunk takes the brush from Lance, finishing off his last toe on his own.

“I am,” Keith bites back, a growl still audible from his chest.

“Only because you cheat!”

“It’s not cheating!”

“How is it not-” Lance stops, furrows his brow, then grins. “You got a little something there.” And like a thirteen year old, Lance points and laughs.

Keith frowns, his hand coming up to his cheek.

Sure enough, Lance was right. Keith had a couple of angry red blemishes on his cheek.

“You have adult acne,” Lance giggles, immature as ever. He was always able to find an angle to everything. It was what made him such an excellent strategist.

“It’s not adult acne!” Keith scowls, scratching at the blemishes.

“Its been three years,” Lance retorts smugly.

You frown. “No. It’s been like two.” You look over at Pidge to confirm, “Right?” You were like ninety percent sure you were twenty.

“Two and a half,” Pidge answers.

“Ha! You’re twenty! Adult-”

“I don’t have adult acne!”

They’d fought over more meaningless things before.

If it was two and a half years, maybe you were twenty one? You frown. How old would you be before you ever saw your family again?

Stashing that depressing thought away, you focus on Keith and the red marks on his cheek like a line coming down to his jaw. “It could be a rash,” you utter thoughtfully. Pidge and you had already encountered a very itchy plant before. “Or space ringworm-ring line?”

For the first time in days, Keith looks at you, meeting your gaze. “It’s not a rash!”

You lift your hands up, “okay. Okay. Geez.” When it came to Keith, you didn’t push too hard. He was too stubborn for it to work.

Lance, however, “hey, it’s okay Keith-buddy, just use toothpaste.”

“Toothpaste makes it worse,” Hunk counters. “Not great for your skin either.”

“It always worked for me,” Lance counters. “Or a clay skin mask.”

“Clay? You mean that green mud,” Keith clarifies.

“It’s clay!”

“Clay would work,” you agree with Lance. “Hey it could be like a spa day!”

“I could go for a spa,” Hunk nods.

Pidge shakes her head, “right. I’m going to try and see if I can get a signal back home.”

Shiro looks over at you, “do you really think it could be something serious?”

You shrug. “No clue.”

Keith huffs, “Just drop it,” he states dramatically, headed for the door. He was over being the center of attention.

“So face masks?”

You nod, “want to try it Allura?”

“I would love to try the clay mask,” she smiles brightly.

——————

Te-Osh’s rebels had sent for Voltron, less fighting than rebuilding.

While you were no paladin, you had spent the majority of the day helping Allura take stock and synthesizing medicine, everything from serums to numbing gels. Just your luck the machine had overheated and given out on the last batch. It was a pretty large machine.

You stick your head inside, waving off the smoke. With your nails, you pry open the hutch and take stock. You were no Pidge or Hunk, still unsure how the thing even worked, but it was clear it needed a new regulator and starter. “Plenty of those lying around,” you utter, scrunching your face at the awful burnt hair smell. Your finger finds the ventilator button on your wrist controls, and there-the smell gets sucked out of the room.

“Is this a bad time,” Keith asks behind you.

Startled, you bang your head on the mental. “Keith,” flushing hotly when you look back and realize you were ass up in front of him.

He doesn’t even notice, grimacing, hand rubbing his nose bridge.

“What’s wrong?” You hurry to wash your hands.

Keith sits down at one of the medbay tables. “My skull feels like it’s being cracked open,” he explains flatly.

You look him over closely, standing right in front of him. “Where exactly,” you ask, frowning when you notice the blemishes had grown to a full blown rash, hot angry skin peeling and cracking like twin marks down his cheeks. You should have pressed. What if it was a parasite? Keith was half galra.

It was easily forgotten given how human he looked. Sure, the signs were there: his unhuman night vision, more strength than he should have, good ears and nose, nails that had torn through metal, but it all faded into the background.

“Does it itch,” you ask, raising your hand, fingertips hovering over the marks on his cheeks.

“Yes,” Keith nods, averting his eyes from your gaze, “mostly it’s hot. And my sinuses…all the way down to my neck. Hurt.”

“Hm,” you turn, reaching for the medical scanner. There was no way you could ever go back to being a medical officer at the galaxy garrison. Earth’s technology was ancient in comparison. “Hold still.”

“Alright,” he says seriously. Keith holds his breath.

You look up at him, in his violet eyes, and smile before laughing. “Keith!”

“You said to hold still,” he points out sincerely, before the corners of his lips turn up. Keith was an expressive guy, his smile lit up his entire being, a lightness in his eyes that made you smile wider.

“Let’s try this again,” you giggle, clicking the scanner and aiming right at his rash first. “Pew.”

He rolls his eyes, snorting. “You too?”

“Mine’s the only right one,” you wink, then look over the reading.

“Not even close.” He scratches at his cheek listlessly.

Whatever reason he had for avoiding you had worked itself out. You’d missed his company.

“Oh yeah,” you challenge, “then what’s the sound?” The readings came up clear. Keith was in perfect health. So not a parasite…space allergies? Those wouldn’t come up on the scanner.

“What is it,” Keith asks, noticing your pensive expression.

“How’s your sense of smell? Stuffy nose?”

He looks up, then takes a deep breath, “now that you mention it…I can’t smell your soap anymore.”

“What?” This was news to you. “You can smell my soap?”

“And whatever planet we’ve been on,” Keith fidgets, blushing as he ducks his head, bangs falling over his eyes, “the soil. It’s all different. But I can’t right now.”

That was worrying. But if the scanner said nothing was wrong…you had to wait and see. It might clear up on its own. You’d give it a day or two.

“Nothing came up on the scanner,” you tell him, “so it should go away on its own. It might just be allergic to something out here.”

He nods, accepting your diagnosis.

“Let me get the medicine.”

“Mhm.”

You pass him a tube of gel and add that to the list of medication you need to synthesize once you fix the machine. Then grab a weekly supply of pain tabs. “Here.”

Keith pops one in immediately.

“Let me know if it doesn’t clear up in two days,” you tell him.

“Worried?”

“Eh, I can always set Lance on you again,” you snort. Shiro was a pushover when it came to Keith. He was no help.

Keith laughs, looking a little more himself. “I could take him.”

“You could,” you agree, “but don’t tell him I said that.”

He tilts his head, smiling. “Coming? Shay got food for us.”

“I’ve got to fix this machine first.”

“Need help?”

“Might ask Hunk or Coran,” you admit.

“I could-”

“No,” you cut him off, placing your hand on his shoulder, “go eat and rest. That’s an order.”

Keith leans into you. “Are you going to write me a doctor’s note too,” he asks, his delivery always so earnest you had to do a double take to figure out if he was joking or not.

“If I have too,” you stick your nose in the air. “I’ll even send one to Zarkon.”

Keith laughs easily. “Why didn’t Lotor think of that.”

You snort. “I’m going to check your lymph nodes,” you tell him, taking a step towards him again. “That okay?”

Keith tilts his head back, “Go for it.”

“Wow,” you chuckle, “who are you and what did you do with Keith Kogane.” You brush his hair out of his face.

“What?”

“Remember when you broke your arm,” you point out, gently pressing your fingers over the side of his throat, feeling the swelled bean shaped lymph nodes under his ears, behind his jaw. “And said nothing for like a week?” It had been your first year at the Galaxy Garrison.

“It was only a sprain,” Keith grumbles.

“Still!” You laugh, “I’m glad you asked for help.” Because this was still Keith and you didn’t want him to think you were laughing at him.

“Mm,” he closes his eyes as you trail your fingers lower, making sure it wasn’t too bad.

The fact they were inflamed at all worried you. You had no clue what was the space equivalent of antihistamines.

Keith’s breath tickles your shoulder, deepening and evening out like he’d finally relaxed. That was most of your patients once you gave them answers and they knew they’d be getting care and treatment. You liked helping people.

You pull your fingers back, ever the consummate professional. It was like the ghost of your garrison advisor was hovering over your shoulder. “They’re not too swollen if you can still eat. Can you still chew?”

“Hm?”

Keith opens his eyes. His expression is glazed and feverish.

“Keith,” you utter, worried.

“Yeah?” His gaze is heavy as it meets yours.

Your skin warms up because he wouldn’t stop looking at you like that.

“Any jaw pain,” you ask, focusing on the task at hand. You bring your hand up to his forehead. He was warm.

Keith leans into your touch, “no.”

“Good.” You bite your lip. Could it be some weird galra thing? Wouldn’t it have come up? You feel your own forehead. He was for sure warmer.

You were going to have to corner Coran about it.

Keith lets his eyes fall shut again and honest to god purrs, leaning into you.

Add cornering Lotor to your list.

You don’t pull away, figuring it was harmless. Lance, Hunk, and Allura were more prone to random hugs. You were more than happy to indulge Keith as well. He already wasn’t feeling well.

You wrap your arms around the red paladin’s shoulders, hugging him, “I’m looking forward to a break from Coran’s post mission food goo once I get done with the machine.”

“Mm.”

He was completely out of it.

His breath tickles your cheek.

“Though I’m not sure there’ll be any left if I don’t go there? Maybe I should grab a plate and then come back here,” you ramble. Keith had never sought you out for comfort. It was touching that he trusted you now. You’d been friends with the others before, with Keith and Shiro and the Alteans, you had skipped right over friendship and gone right to family.

“Oh.”

You look behind you.

Te-Osh takes a step back, “forgive my intrusion. I was unaware-”

Keith snaps out of whatever was going on with him. Bolting off the exam table. “It’s fine. We’re done here.” He hunches his shoulders and beelines for the door.

You frown, still processing.

“I can come back,” Te-Osh tells you, glancing between you and the door Keith had just escaped through.

You shrug. “No. I’ve got time. What do you need?”

“If you’re sure?”

Nodding, you smile, “yeah, what can I help you with?”

———————

“Here is where we will focus the blunt of the attack on. Keith, Lance, engage the fighters. Hunk,” Shiro explains, “you’ll be with me taking out the communications towers. We want to keep the damage to the minimum. The resistance leaders want the factory intact. Pidge-”

Pidge waves the Black Paladin off, “I’ve got the code written.”

“It really does come in handy,” Lance observes, “all those vents are Pidge size.”

The green paladin grumbles, “easy for you to say when you’re not the one crawling around in there. It’s not your knees getting banging up.”

“Well the galra are all like nine feet tall,” Hunk points out, “the vents probably aren’t that small from their perspective.”

Lance unsubtly glances over at Keith.

His rash had cleared up, but not before spreading. In its place were two purple slash marks running from his cheek to jaw, galra markings. No one had pressed…yet.

You were just glad it wasn’t some weird space parasite.

Her brother ruffles her hair, “Pidge sized! A micro pidge,” Matt jokes to himself.

She smacks his hand away, “five feet is a perfectly reasonable size.’

“She could still have a growth spurt,” you add, though it was highly unlikely.

“No,” Matt’s eyes go comically wide as he hugs his sister, “not my hobbit,” relishing in her embarrassment.

“Matt!”

“In summation,” Allura calls you all back to attention, “the paladins will take out Galra forces and Pidge will open the weapons factory up to Vexuin rebels to take over. I will be manning the Castle to ensure no fighters target the work camps and coordinating communications with the rebels.” She turns to look at you, “Matt and you will take down the sentries, freeing the people from the work camps.”

“No!”

Everyone looks over at Keith. The horror on his face is easy to read.

What had brought this on?

Shiro clears his throat.

Keith ducks his head, letting his bangs obscure his features.

“Why not,” Pidge asks grumpily, time was running out. You were all just ironing out the details, “your plans suck.”

“Pidge,” Shiro chastises.

The green paladin was right.

Keith fought the same way you played video games, caring about nothing but reducing the enemies stats to zero. He’d gotten great at teamwork, but he was hardly a strategist.

“Keith,” Allura asks, “do you have any legitimate reasons why Matt should go on his own?” And when she phrased it like that…

The red paladin crosses his arms over his shoulders.

Pidge taps her foot on the floor.

“Okay then,” Shiro takes over, “let’s get to our lions.”

“Coms. Come in earthlings!,” Coran chimes in over the system, “remember this planet’s atmosphere is toxic to breath, too much sulfur in the air, not to mention the heat will give you all a taste of the slipperies. And worse! So keep those space suits on Vol-”

“-Tron,” Lance grins back, having taken a liking to having a kooky space alien uncle.

You lock your helmet in place as Matt pilots the pod towards the work camps. They were just as grim as the first time you’d seen them. It was the same all over in many of the Empire’s work planets. They were at the bottom of the totem pole. There were some planets where the native species and Galra coexisted more or less peacefully, this was not one of them.

“So what’s up with Keith,” Matt asks you.

You shrug. “No clue. I keep waiting for Lotor or one of the Blades to drop in so I can corner them but he’s a picture of perfect health so I’m not worried.”

“But the,” he takes a hand off the wheel, motioning to his face.

You frown, arching a brow. You’d never looked at Allura quite the same after the way she had treated Keith upon learning about his heritage. It’s not like he’d been a completely different person, she’d known him for over a year.

Matt might be Pidge’s brother, but you weren’t about to let anyone get away with giving someone you loved shit. Especially not Keith who would just silently take it.

It made your chest ache, thinking about how sweet he looked when he smiled. He didn’t deserve any of it.

“What about it?” You stare back at him cooly.

Matt focuses back on landing the pod just beyond the sentires line of sight. “Nothing. Pidge figured it was nothing, didn’t even seem curious. I figured you might know, you two are pretty close.” He glances over at you meaningfully.

“We’ve known eachother since the garrison,” though you hadn’t really been friends. Keith had been kind of a loner. You’d tried to include him, having shared a couple classes with him here and there, but he’d never taken you up on any offer.

“Right.” He doesn’t sound all that convinced. “Glad to hear it’s all good. I caught the sneazles while in the work camp,” Matt makes a face.

You laugh.

“It was horrible! But also like an episode of spongebob somehow?”

“Space is weird.” You had way bigger problems and had seen stranger things by now. For fucks sake, you were saving dragon looking aliens from the Galra right now. This planet was like a silent hill game!

Thick fog obscured the rocky landscape. Even from within your suit you could smell the stench of rotten eggs. Yet this was home to the Vexuin.

Shiro gives the signal.

You take the safety off the taser gun Pidge had built for you. Anything pilfered off the Galra was too large for your small stature, just a hair shorter than Keith. The gun packed a punch, with enough voltage to take out the robots.

Matt and you get to work.

“Almost got it,” Matt mutters as you take aim and shoot.

Stupid damn biolocks.

“Hurry the fuck up,” you tell him, dodging a shot from another sentry before frying it with your own weapon. One shot, one sentry. You needed to take them down before they got close. The robots were durable and strong. You knew better than to think you could go hand to hand with one, you were a medic not a fighter.

“I am, I am,” Matt insists. “Ah there,” he grabs a taser flash bomb out of his pocket and tosses inside the sentry outpost.

You shoot again, trying to keep your hands steady. It was easy when it was just programmed machines. Nothing to feel bad about.

Matt and you rush inside, stepping over more fried sentries. You take position at the entrance, gunning down anything that makes its way towards the two of you.

“You in,” you ask him.

“Patience my young apprentice,” Matt says, laughing at his own joke, “it’ll take a moment for my worm to work its way through the software and give me complete control.”

The ground shakes as the main part of the battle takes place outside, at a monsterous factory that’s gray, chimney shooting out smoke. You can only see hints of lions shooting and Galra fighter ships lighting up the sky.

The sulfuric fog coats everything.

You taste rotten eggs on your breath.

Inside your suit, sweat runs down your back.

“Okay,” Matt chimes into the coms, “I’ve hacked the camps. Ready to open the gates.”

The rolling low grutal voices of the Vexuin rebel leaders fill your coms, “Good.”

“Go ahead Matt,” Allura gives the order, “Voltron?”

Pidge answers, “dropping in, should override their” static, “ticks.” Then an explosion reverberates in your ear where the communications device is.

“Pidge,” Keith yells out.

“Keith cover Lance,” Shiro grunts out, blasts audible from here. “Pidge?”

Nothing.

Matt’s face goes ghostly white.

“Pidge, come in Pidge?” Allura asks. “Paladins? Are you able to reach Pidge?”

“Negative,” Shiro replies, “Hunk, take the main gate! Time to land.”

“On it.”

“Guys,” Lance yells, “the shield’s down. Pidge hacked them.”

“Keith,” Shiro yells, “wait!”

“Fine.”

You decide to hope for the best. There was nothing you could do for any of the paladins all the way from here. “Turn it off,” you tell Matt.

He steals himself. “Right.”

The lights of the compound go out. Sentries power down where they stand, puppets with their strings cut. Locks disengage, and for the first time in decades, the Vexuin are free to leave the barracks free from Galra supervision.

You and Matt go out to meet them.

“I could get used to this,” Pidge calls out as everyone meets on the planet’s surface. Rebels come in from the forest slowly, making sure this is for real, before sniffing the air and calling out to their loved ones lingering around the liberated camp complex. Their vision worked in the infrared, all the better to see on this planet. You’d need at least three showers to get the smell out of your hair.

Keith carries Pidge, careful not to jolt the youngest member of Voltron. She holds a leg stiffly, a sprain or fracture.

Matt rushes to his sister, “Katie!”

She waves him off, “I’m fine.” Then snaps her fingers, “Down.”

There’s a small smile on Keith’s mouth as he places her down on the ground gently.

Lance comes up behind Keith, ruffling his hair, and being every bit himself as he comments with a smirk, “good boy.”

The shorter paladin smacks Lance’s hand away, but it’s too late, Lance is already smothering Keith in a hug that turns into a competition, like always with those two. Keith shoves at Lance’s face while Lance tightens his grip on Keith.

Shiro clears his throat, “paladins.”

“A dobesh in the pod,” you ask Pidge as Matt gets his turn to fuss over her.

“Yeah. Landed right as an explosion went off,” Pidge frowns. “Not my best moment, but my program still did it’s job and,” she pats her bayard, “I took them out.”

“Can’t be that bad if you can stand,” you agree. Nothing serious but you’d be keeping an eye on her all the same. The faster she got into the pod and took weight off her injury the better. You didn’t want to exacerbate the sprain.

“The jet pack helped,” Pidge points out.

“Lucky you,” you grin.

Shiro and Allura are consummate professionals as they go over the last of the logistics with the Vexuin, “It would be wise to stay until your people have situated themselves in case the Galra Empire retaliates,” Allura states, ending her sentiment in a question, “but it is ultimately up to you.”

The Vexuin chatter among themselves for a moment before one speaks up, “we would not turn down Voltron’s help. A few quintants should be enough time.”

“Then we will make ourselves of service to you,” Shiro nods. “Please, let us know anything we can help with.”

A red scaled one smiles, showing off her many sharp and jagged teeth, “our people long to see the camp destroyed.”

Hunk offers, “I could help rig a controlled explosion.”

“Very good.”

“The system inside the weapons factory is down,” Pidge tells them, “but I can reprogram it to keep the Galra out so that you can decide what to do with the place.”

“Oh no you don’t,” you cut in, “Matt can take care of that. You’re going in a pod first.”

“Pod person,” Matt mutters under his breath with a snort.

“Then let us get to work,” Allura dismisses everyone.

Pidge tries to take a step, and almost falls over.

You grab her.

Her face goes crimson from the pain.

The adrenalin must have been keeping the bulk of the pain away.

Keith picks her up.

It’s not until you’ve loaded Pidge in for three vargas that you pull off your helmet, savoring the crisp clean air of the Castleship.

“I can still smell the sulfur,” you comment, wrinkling your nose.

Keith shakes his hair out.

You look at him thoughtfully, “must be worse for you though.”

“Why,” he asks, genuinely puzzled.

“Because your nose,” you point out, then frown, “your sinuses did clear up yeah?” He never said anything about it so you figured they had and he could smell fine again, but you weren’t sure.

“Oh. Yeah. They did.”

You smile fondly, “very convincing Keith,” you tell him, reaching out to him. He lets you run your fingers right under his ears, behind his jaw. Everything was in order.

A knot of anxiety dissolves in your chest.

“Well,” he asks, “satisfied?”

“Mhm.” You look at the purple markings on his skin.

Keith’s breath hitches. His gaze is trained on you, watching carefully.

“So if not rotten eggs,” you ask, slowly bringing your fingertips over the marks on the sides of his face, giving him every opportunity to pull away, “what do you smell?” You couldn’t help it. It was that scientific curiosity. Everyone at the garrison had ended up there because they were nerdy in some way: devoting themselves to some STEM field while other kids were watching cartoons. You’d had a stutter as a kid, self conscious about it too, so instead of trying to make friends you read your textbooks under your desk, racing ahead.

Keith’s eyes meet yours. There’s a level of vulnerability in his gaze that worms its way into your chest and all of a sudden you’re incredibly aware of how close you two are, the lack of space between your bodies, your fingers caressing his skin.

You look away, focusing on the marks. They were purple, which was obvious. His skin itself had grown purple, perfectly delineated.

“Like wet soil,” Keith explains finally, “when they just added fertilizer.” You wince, remembering the smell of the horticulture center wafting through the garrison’s campus during the spring. “And garlic.”

“I like garlic. I’d kill for some,” you tell him, sounding very much like Hank. You hadn’t expected to be homesick for food. “Best food they served at the cafeteria.”

“That’s not saying much,” Keith mutters, amused.

You chuckle, pulling your hands away from his face.

He leans forward, asking for physical comfort in a very Keith way: unsubtle and wordlessly, putting the onus on you to get the hint.

Pidge must have freaked him out more than he was willing to discuss.

You wrap your arms around his waist, hugging Keith. “Pidge’ll be fine.” Sure, she was younger and short, but she was more than capable of handling herself. “I’m more concerned about how she left the other guys,” you comment lightly resting your chin on Keith’s shoulder.

His shoulders shake as he laughs easily. “They asked to surrender to her personally.”

“That’s Pidge all right.” You glance over at the pod. She’d be back on her feet in no time.

Keith’s breath against your skin feels nice. Your heart flutters in your chest and you find yourself blushing and pulling away, thoughts racing as you realize just how much you liked this boy. You pull away, unsure what to do and suddenly finding it too awkward to be around him at all.

The start of a whine escapes his throat before he smothers it, looking away, as he lets his bangs fall over his eyes, effectively hiding his easy to read features.

“Let’s go help the others,” you say, fumbling to grab a med kit and click your helmet back in place, your face too warm and it must be obvious. You didn’t want to make things weird. You didn’t. But-

“I’m going to stay here until Pidge wakes up,” Keith tells you.

“Oh. Okay.” You nod. “That’s a great idea. It’s always confusing as hell to get out of the pods.” It was akin to waking up from a midday nap: completely confused and exhausted instead of rested.

Your skills would be more useful with the Vexuim than fussing over Pidge at the moment. And having something to do would keep your mind off Keith.

—————

“You know,” Lance comments, sliding up to you as you watch Lotor strut away from you after another failed attempt to talk to him. “If we bottled up whatever galra repellant you have going on, we could defeat Zarkon with perfume.”

You look over at Lance, trying to suppress a smile. “What would you call it?”

“Starlight.”

“That’s-that’s actually pretty great,” you tell Lance.

“I know,” he grins. Then the latino boy sobers up, “trying to find out what’s going on with mullet?”

You nod. “I even tried to corner Acxa,” you admit. For an eight foot tall purple alien, boy could she make herself scarce.

Lance’s eyes widened in delight, “like could and should peg me Acxa?”

You groan. “Lance, sometimes it’s okay to keep things to yourself.”

“I’m just saying,” he laughs, “the ship’s not that big…”

“It’s designed for six thousand people.” You’d learned that fun tidbit while practicing your Altean with Pidge.

“Like for real!”

“Yeah.”

“Ay dios mio,” Lance utters, “you’re screwed.”

You finally hit the motherlode.

Lotor and his generals are in a stately room that reminds you of the socratic lecture halls at the garrison, sofa arranged in a half circle, with Shiro and Allura. The former Prince had shown up for a reason beyond making a nuisance of himself. Allura looks at her wits end with him, as he smiles like a douche, her eye twitching.

She invites you in without hesitation, “take a seat next to me,” and effectively uses you as a human shield against Lotor.

Literally since you and Shiro were the only humans here.

“Everything has been thoroughly discussed,” Lotor comments dryly, snubbing you once more. Normally, you wouldn’t have cared but you were trying to get information out of the man. “Unless either of you have further questions?”

Shiro hums, rubbing his chin, “I know saddling you with a rebel ship or two will slow you down but I don’t see another way around it. A display of size on their part will go a long way to show it is an alliance and not the Galra Empire hy another name.”

Allura nods, a small smile on her lips as she looks over at Shiro, “The black paladin is right. It will be a steep hill to climb to show that you are not the Galra Empire. Their fears would be alleviated with the presence of the rebel alliance.”

Zethrid sucks in a sharp breath, “So that’s it then. We will always be scorned and merely tolerated.”

“Time,” Shiro sighs with a look of gentle understanding at the muscular woman, “they need time. You can’t erase 10,000 years of history. It is hard to extend trust after being imprisoned and enslaved.”

“The alliance has started coordinating with you and the Blade directly have they not,” Allura asks stiltedly. It was by the necessity of time that they had stopped going through Voltron first. Lotor might be too smug for his own good, but his team was effective at sabotaging warships and infiltrating Galra ranks to liberate prisons and cities, enough to turn the tide for the rebels.

Her feelings towards Lotor and the Blade were still tinged with suspicion, her treatment of them lukewarm at best.

Still, Lotor brushed it off and continued to help. “Well then, Princess, Shiro, we have a long journey ahead of us.”

Shiro nods.

They shake hands.

You stand up, ready to corner Lotor.

“But first a word Shiro, it is a private matter.”

“Yeah, sure,” Shiro leads Lotor away.

Your eye twitches.

That snake!

Zethrid and Narti walk purposefully away as Allura pushes in her chair, ignoring the last two of Lotor’s team. “Princess,” Acxa, tries. “Until next time.” She nods at you, “stay safe.”

Allura gives the woman a strained smile, hooking her arm with yours. Human shield.

“You too,” you tell her. She doesn’t wait, already halfway out the door. You sigh.

Ezor giggles, by far the friendliest and easiest to get along with of Lotor’s team. “Stashing food and water will cut down the embarrassment by half.”

“What?”

“Oh,” she shrugs, “I guess Lotor was right. Darn it! Now I owe him one hundred GAC.”

“Wait-”

But she scurries off.

“Ugh,” you kick the wall, tired of everyone being weird. The usual frustration with being caught up in a space war was just the salt on the wound.

Your toe throbs, “fuck,” you hiss.

“They are rather tiring to deal with,” Allura agrees, reading the situation wrong, “but it hardly calls for assaulting the Castle.”

“Sorry,” you flush red with embarrassment. “I just had a question for Lotor and he seems intent on never being in the same room as me.”

“Ah-,” Allura smiles easily, “Lance did mention that you were in possession of a Galra repellent.” The twinkle in her eyes lets you know she was in on the joke.

“Come, let us work our frustrations out with some introspection.” Which was just Altean for weird breathing exercises that supposedly helped you do alchemy. She had managed to rope you into practicing with her before.

“Anything to spare the wall,” you joke.

——————

You walk back from the library. It was a cozy room, especially when you dimmed the lights. The Castle was always so bright, designed with the Alteans sight needs in mind.

Sometimes you just needed some time away from everyone. You loved them, but spending years with the same people while floating through space…you had no clue how Shiro had managed it.

Getting a walk around the ship was also nice. It was easy to forget how big the Castle was when you mainly stayed on the same three floors. Just a couple months ago Coran had rediscovered the greenhouse. The plants were a little piece of Altea, and had quickly become one of Allura’s favorite spots.

The windows were wide portholes. It unnerved you still, looking out and not recognizing any star, any constellations.

A lump of homesickness lodges itself in your throat. It had been over two years, your siblings would have grown so much in that time. You certainly had. The last vestiges of childhood had gone from your face.

Acne cleared up even without Lance’s ten step routine.

You walk across the bridge, trying not to look down. The viewing platform was clear glass in space, you could lay on it. It freaked you out a little.

It was the only constantly dark place in the castle.

You still yelp when you spot Keith, his eyes luminous violet like a glow in the dark t-shirt. That should have tipped all of you off, but alien was not the first thing that came to mind when you previously believed aliens had never visited earth.

He whimpers, curling up further.

“Keith,” you gulp, focusing on him and not the glass separating you from the void of space. “What’s wrong?”

He looks up at you miserably, blinking sluggishly. “I have the worst migraine.”

“And you’re down here instead of getting painkillers?”

Keith shrugs. “It’s not as bad, quiet. Dark.”

You sit down next to him. “I can go get you something,” you offer, your cheeks warming up and it was ridiculous how you can’t even manage to act normal around him anymore.

“Coran already gave me a dose.”

“Oh.” You were hurt. You were supposed to be the medic. That was your role on Team Voltron.

You hug your knees to your chest, and look down at space. It was darker than the photographs back on earth. Not so purple and blue.

You weren’t Matt who was just as good as Pidge with technology or Allura who was the leader and a princess to boot, you’d just planned on having a late dinner with Hunk once he got over the motion sickness before Lance roped you into following Pidge. You weren’t a paladin.

Keith shuts his eyes. “You were with Allura. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“It’s no bother.” You swallow thickly, letting silence fall over you both.

You listen to Keith breathing, looking around the darkness of space for any familiar stars. You knew the space around Shay’s Balmerra, and Arus was at least a little familiar. But the universe was so vast and wide.

There were planets you’d only ever been to once, each with a different night sky. Some of them never even had a night, with multiple suns staving off a night cycle.

“Do you think Allura minds?”

“Mind what,” you ask.

Keith clenches his jaw, rubbing his temples. “That I look more Galra.”

Allura has always been harder on the Galra. For her, it had been such a short time since Zarkon had destroyed her world and her people. You didn’t agree, but you could understand where she was coming from, the pain still there as she continuously wore Altean mourning pink.

You look over at him, the outline of his body against the glass. “I think your marks look cool.”

“Bullshit.”

“I do,” you whisper gently, considerate of his migraine. Those were the worst. “They frame your face. You look nice,” you finish lamely, looking away. You look nice. Lance might say stupid things but at least he tried.

“What if I looked even more Galra?”

“Like completely purple and tall?” You couldn’t really wrap your head around it. It also seemed incredibly unlikely. Could his phenotype change so drastically? On earth the answer was no, but who knows how the Galra work. It was fascinating to see such a wide range of traits in one species.

He was also half human.

You worried if his body would even tolerate such a drastic change.

“Yes,” he says, not waiting for you as he rants in agitation, “the rebels hate the Blade and Allura doesn’t trust them at all and that’s not even mentioning Lotor.”

“That’s not true. Te-Osh likes Acza and Ezor. Lotor’s kind of annoying if we’re being honest, and I’m sure his being Zarkon’s son makes it a little hard to believe he’s on our side,” you try to reason. “And don’t write off the Galra who have changed sides or were in the camps right alongside other aliens.”

Keith says nothing in response, mouth a thin line as he thinks.

You wonder how long it’s been bugging him.

You want to reach out and hug him, but he isn’t Hunk. You’re not sure he’d want to if he’s not initiating the contact. So you don’t.

“Everyone knows how the last Galra paladin worked out.” A low growl in the back of his throat is enough to clue you in to how distressing this was for him.

Your heart hurts. “And everyone knows you’re not Zarkon,” you state evenly back. “We already know you’re Galra.”

Keith snorts humorlessly. You can’t see his eyes; they’re hidden by his bangs.

“The glowing eyes are not exactly subtle dude,” you point out, “not to mention your hair does the poof thing guinea pigs do when they’re eating, but not when you’re eating, more like when you get annoyed.”

“I-what!” His eyes go comically wide as he sits up. His dark hair does the thing, making him look like a character from those old Japanese kids movies.

You giggle, “you’re doing it.”

Keith tries to look at his reflection in the glass.

You blush, grateful that it’s too dark to see, and then realize that wasn’t true for him, so you look away, hoping he didn’t notice. “Yeah. I’m the medic, it’s my job to know these things. Like how Pidge has two webbed digits on her foot and Lance is allergic to flax seeds and bees.”

“That…makes sense.” Then he smiles, “still didn’t put two and two together.”

“Don’t be a smartass.” Reason number three thousand Iverson had it out for him back at the harrison. “And if anyone has a problem with you I’ll kick their ass.”

“You?” Keith snorts. “You wouldn’t even flip me during self defense.”

“You remember that?” You run a hand over your face, “I didn’t want to hurt anyone,” you always took forever to practice on your partner. And your weak arms didn’t help.

“That’s what the mats were for.”

“Still!”

Keith laughs at your expense.

You smile, taking delight in watching him smile and laugh and you wish it could always be like this and the war would just end.

Then you sober up. “You’re going to be okay, right?”

He doesn’t answer you right away.

“Keith-” you reach out, voice cracking. “You’re going to be okay, giant purple space cat or not, right?”

He takes your hand, squeezing it firmly. “Yeah. Don’t worry about it.”

“Good,” you utter, but tears bead up in your eyes anyway. It was terrifying watching someone go through something unknown that you couldn’t help them through for all your medical training. You knew how to set bones and run a pod…not whatever this was.

You trusted Keith.

He knew himself better than anyone. After all, he’d been right about his teeth growing back.

“You really are worried,” he whispers in disbelief.

“Duh.”

“I can smell it on you,” then he seems to realize what he said, and pulls away, ducking his head. Like he hadn’t meant to say so much.

“Really?” Learning about anything alien biology was pretty cool, you had to admit. Allura had once described colours that you couldn’t perceive. It was a fun talk. And then she’d made you meditate for alchemy stuff or so she claimed. It might have just been payback. “Is that new?”

“Yeah,” Keith admits, still drawn into himself. “Can we not-I already feel like enough of a freak already without,” he waves aggressively at himself.

You bite your lip, nodding. You wanted to say something, to get it through his head how you saw him, incredibly kind and fiercely loyal (to the point of taking on Zarkon by himself) and an endearing smile you never got tired of seeing.

You liked him.

The universe was lucky to have him as a paladin.

But you don’t know how to say it in a way he’d accept. And he asked you to drop it, so you do. “Right, I’ll just go then.” He’d been here first, and the glass made you nervous.

Could it withstand a hit from a galra battleship?

Keith opens his mouth like he wants to say something else, but he just nods, then winces, “Argh,” he groans as he curls up on his side, covering his ears with his hands.

You rush to his side, kneeling next to him, “Keith,” you utter softly, not wanting to make it worse.

His eyes are pressed close and for all your medical know-how, you’re at a loss.

So you running your fingers through his hair soothingly and wait for the pain to pass.

He shifts, laying his head in your lap as he whimpers.

You can’t stand to watch him and do nothing. You press your com, pinging Shiro and Coran. This was beyond you. He’d trust Shiro with whatever was going on and he’d gone to Coran. You respected that even if it did sting.

Your pride meant little so long as Keith felt comfortable and sought help.

“Shh, shh,” you whisper gently.

Sweat beads on his brow.

Whines escape his throat.

“Fuck,” he grunts, clenching his teeth.

He’s warm to your touch and that rouses another bout of worries. At this temperature it’s a fever, but he didn’t have the symptoms, the flushed cheeks and chills.

Keith curls up further, muscles stiff.

You’re helpless.

After what feels like ages, Shiro and Coran finally appear.

“Number four, Number five,” Coran claps his hands.

You hold out your hand, motioning them to shut the fuck up as Keith winces at the sound.

His hair is damp near his ears.

“Keith,” Shiro utters much more gently, kneeling down on his other side, “I’m here, I’ve got you.”

He raises his head, blinking groggily at Shiro, trying to concentrate through the pain, “Shiro,” he reaches for his brother who easily pulls him against his chest. Keith buries his head in the crook of Shiro’s neck.

You sit back, trying to get out of the way. Your hands are wet.

You look down and realize it’s blood. His ears-

Oh god.

“Number five,” Coran says gently, helping you up, “I’ll take great care of our Paladin. Why don’t you go get cleaned up.”

You don’t get any sleep that night.

——————

You were always struck with cognitive dissonance walking around colonized planets like Rahiri where the natives and Galra lived side by side. This was not a planet ravaged by the empire. The flora-like aliens in all shades of green with rootish limbs and leaves and petals for hair had assimilated into the Empire, achieving citizenship over generations. 10,000 years deca-phoebs was a long time. That was a huge source of tension in the Alliance, what to do with the world who neither wanted or wished to leave the Empire.

It was also a source of dark humor that no one spared the four of you a second glance despite two paladins of Voltron walking around.

Hunk holds Shay’s hand in front of you as they point and awe and drag their feet on the way to the space port.

“You could always stay with,” Hunk says hopefully, “we could just drop you off. Personal taxi service.”

Shay smiles back kindly, “that would be wonderful but I have been away from home for too long. I am, as you say, a homebody.”

“Aw, yeah,” Hunk chuckles, “I feel that. I like the ground. And dirt. Piloting is overrated.”

“Don’t let yellow here you say that,” Keith comments so dry, you think he’s serious for a second. Allura and Pidge had gone shopping for supplies. That was an advantage of a planet that had not seen war.

Hunk glances back, clearly having forgotten we had tagged along in case anything went down. “Yeah well, she’d like a small moon. Or an asteroid. There’s colonies on those.”

“Very true,” Shay laughs. “I think my balmerra is also like a moon. A beautiful creature. We have learned how to ask for crystals so we do not need to cut them.”

“That’s impressive. Did the books from Allura help,” Hunk asks.

As much as you liked getting to stretch your legs, seeing a different planet where the threat was not imminent, you didn’t like being a third wheel, or fourth wheel if you went according to Coran’s favorite numbering pattern. That inch difference between you and Keith mocked you.

You glance over at the red paladin.

His gaze kept flickering back and forth, around the street. The occasional loud noise of crates being unloaded made him jump.

“You good,” you ask Keith, cracking a joke so he’d know you weren’t judging him. “You see la llorona or Davy Jones?”

“Hm?”

“You know…a famous ghost? Do they have ghosts in space?”

Keith snorts, cottoning on. “They don’t even have ghosts on earth.”

You pull a face, “well that’s no fun. Seriously, you okay? Or have we been made?”

He shakes his head, glancing around again just to be sure. “So much for Zarkon’s finest.”

You laugh, following Hank and Shay into the space port. Shuttles were departing pretty consistently. Everything was in orderly fashion. You especially liked how no one was shooting at you.

“It takes some getting used to.”

“What does?” You watch as Keith shakes his head, making his hair fall back from his face.

Shay and Hunk go to the ticket counter, but you decide to find somewhere off to the side, wanting to give them privacy.

“Stuff.”

You roll your eyes at Keith, “you suck.”

He crosses his arms over his chest, leaning against the wall, looking anywhere but at you. “Lotor explained it to me and Shiro…what’s happening.”

“Oh.” You swallow, looking at Hunk and Shay hugging and saying their goodbyes yet again. They’d said them last night at dinner, this morning in the pod, and again when you’d split from Allura and Pidge. It was cute. They were adorable.

“Sorry.”

“Hm,” you glance over at Keith, not sure why he would be sorry about anything. He was the one getting screwed over by half of his heritage.

“You’re hurt.”

“You can smell that too,” you ask him, holding his deep gaze. There was an intense commitment to everything Keith did; it was reflected in the depth of his violet gaze. He didn’t do things in halves.

“Now I can.” He looks at his shoes, red dusting his cheeks. The red didn’t tinge the purple marks on his skin.

“So this is all,” you’re not sure how to put it, “nothing to worry about?”

“He said it was normal. But because I’m half there’s no way to know what to expect.” He looks away as he says it, stiff as he glances around.

The anxiety that had settled into your jaw since you’d had to wash his blood off your hands eases up. “Giant purple space cat,” you joke, nudging his side.

“Oh fuck no,” Keith grumbles. Even that furrowed expression that crossed his chiselled features made you feel all giddy inside.

Bad timing.

“I’m not hurt I-I just wish you trusted me,” you finally admit. It was silly. You felt selfish, so you tack on, “You know I’m here for you if you need me. We all are. I know Shiro’s your brother, but we’re your friends.”

“I know,” he sighs wistfully, “I do trust you…it’s just-it’s been hard. I don’t know how to feel about any of it and I’m not used to it either.”

“It’s fine,” you tell him, “I’m being silly, making this about me. As long as you know I’m here for you…I’m not trying to force you to tell me anything…” you cringe internally at yourself. The galaxy garrison had been made up of nerds, so it followed everyone was a character. It hadn’t helped anyone’s social skills.

You wish you could just go, I worry about you because I love you instead of stumbling through word vomit.

“Come on,” Keith brings you out of your thoughts, grabbing your hand and pushing through the crowd of people coming and going to different boarding gates, “I think Hunk’s going to need some comfort food.”

You glance around, finding Hunk’s form making it’s way to you both. He was wiping his eyes, bittersweet smile, making no move to really hide that he was crying.

“Let’s get back to Allura yeah,” he tells you both.

“Or,” you go with Keith’s idea, “we can get something to eat. Allura gave us a good hour or so.”

“Varga,” Keith supplies.

“Yeah, that.”

Hunk nods, “that sounds nice. It’s just,” he looks back at the departing shuttle, “it’s hard. It’s war and you never know when your going to see each other again but it’s not like she can just drop everything and I wouldn’t ask her too, if anything I’d like to retire there. Nice and quiet. Maybe open a restaurant…”

“Vrepit Sal two,” Keith offers.

“Could make it a chain,” you add with a smile. Hunk, like you, was not such a gung ho pilot. You had landed the flight simulation without crashing exactly once, for your final emergency protocol exam.

“Thanks guys,” Hunk grins, “but I think I’ll bring some earth out here. Give these people a taste of traditional earthlign cuisine.”

“So your menu’s going to be as long as Cheesecake Factory’s,” you ask with a silly grin.

“Maybe not that long. A burger, ramen, scratch that, pizza instead of a burger.” Hunk rubs his chin thoughtfully sniffing the air and following his nose to a food stand. You trusted him for food. He had a knack for combining goo and exotically colored food that screamed fake and poisonous into pretty great meals.

Keith was still holding your hand, not as a loose afterthought: every now and then he’d rub his thumb against the back of your hand and it sent a thrill down your spine.

You don’t pull away, wanting to savor the feel of his skin against yours even if it wasn’t that deep. You’d hugged and napped with everyone at least once, grabbing each other’s hands in the confusing crowded hovels of swamp malls (actual swamp malls and not places Coran thought of as a swamp mall).

You nab a table outside the stand.

Everything was in Galra which none of you could read. “Damn,” you mutter looking over.

Hunk glances at Keith without subtlety.

You were starting to think only Allura and Shiro could do subtly.

Keith raises a brow.

“Nothing,” Hunk looks down at his screen.

“Point and hope for the best it is,” you shrug.

“I love a good surprise,” Hunk nods, then looks down at his hands, “we’ll see each other again right? Shay…they’re pretty safe. And well…yellow’s got thick armour.” He sighs, resting his cheek against his fist, elbows on the table.

“Shay’s a badass,” you confort Hunk, “she figured out how to communicate with the Balmera and through the Balmera. She’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty freaking amazing,” Hunk blushes.

You order from an alien that somewhat resembles Ezor, all cotton candy color, and twiddle your thumbs, enjoying the rare moment of rest and relaxation.

“I could get used to this,” Hunk comments, savoring the strange dish he’d been served.

“Get a travel food show,” you tease, “I’d watch it.”

“It could be like this all the time,” Keith muses hopefully, “aren’t planets like this proof we could all get along.” He bites into the glowing blue lotus root shaped meal, and blinks widely.

“What,” you ask, looking over at him.

Keith grabs a napkin and spits out his food. “I think I just lost another tooth.”

“You think,” Hunk raises a brow, “how could you not notice a missing tooth?”

“Smile,” you nudge Keith sitting next to you.

He rolls his eyes, before fake smiling which was always so undeniably forced when he did it. You laugh, nodding, “yup, missing tooth.”

Keith frowns for a second, before continuing to eat.

“Oh,” Hunk utters, before he kicks your leg lightly.

You look up, meeting the yellow paladin’s searching gaze.

He looks at you with a knowing smile.

Heat rushes to your cheeks, the tip of your nose burning hotly, you look down, shoving a questionable sticky black slice into your mouth. It was easy to chew despite the sticky-ness, the flavor starchy and nutty.

There was no way this wouldn’t get back to everyone else in the Castle. No way.

They were all so nosy.

Oh fuck.

——————

“It sure is hot in here,” Lance says with a challenging smirk at Keith.

You roll your eyes.

Lance stretches, resting his arms against the back of the sofa, his hand tapping annoyingly against your shoulder.

Keith is unmoved. Or more accurately, Keith’s mouth twists as he tries hard to ignore Lance’s latest attempts to get him to remove his hat, a lime green thing that clashed perfectly as was his fashion sense, or lack of any fashion sense.

Pidge smacks her head, then peaks curiously at Keith: at Keith’s hat.

You flick Lance’s cheek. “Hey hot shot, don’t hug me when you’ve set the thermostat to ninety degrees.”

“Ninety five actually,” he winks, hugging you towards him. Ugh, you couldn’t do it. You’d already done away with your afghan coat, tied your lavender flannel around your waist, what more could you do. You didn’t have shorts in space. The skirts stored in the castle were breezy, but made you feel at risk of tripping over the hem with each step.

“Hm,” Keith voices, taking a seat, “reminds me of home.”

Hunk snorts, “really thought that through,” he tells Lance.

Lance is undeterred. “Could go higher.”

“I don’t think your cow would like that very much,” you point out.

The blue paladin sulks, looking down at you, “you’re just saying that because you like-”

You jab your elbow into his side.

“Ow! What ever happened to do no harm?”

“Technically,” you tell Lance, “I never graduated.”

“She’s got you there,” Pidge smirks from beside Keith. She was taking apart yet another radio. The signal had yet to reach earth.

“Thank you Pidge.”

She shrugs, “It’s true.” Then turns on Keith, “The hat, explain.”

He looks like he wishes he could merge with the sofa at that, slumping in his seat.

You decide to step in, “I’m going to turn the thermo down.”

Lance is quick to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you back onto the sofa, “come on, relax. Like mullet said, it’s homey.”

You throw him a dirty look.

“Keith?” Pidge side-eyes her fellow paladin. He’s sat up, gripping the sofa cushion so tightly he’s ripping hole into the ten thousand year upholstery.

“You okay there buddy,” Hunk asks.

“No.”

“Oh.”

Keith sucks in a breath, and with deliberate motion, pulls the hat from his head.

Oh.

Your eyes widen.

OH.

His ears had changed.

They weren’t nearly as alien as Allura’s, but no one would mistake their shape for human. Keith’s ears tapered up and out, portrudding, but it was more than just a pointed tip, the entire shape of his ears had transformed, resembling a butterfly’s wing. It was still human in color, but…

Hunk breaks the stunned silence first, “so are you going to like to end up purple?”

Keith ducks his head, wrapping his arms around himself.

No one else gets the chance to further interrogate Keith, or hear his own thoughts, because Allura calls everyone up to the bridge.

Lotor hailed the Castle of Lions. Everyone stands around the bridge while Shiro and Allura take the lead as usual. They might as well be twins given how well they got on, communicating differing ideas without undermining the other.

“There are nine warships in the system,” Lotor acknowledges, “I would be much indebted if you would do me the favor of sending Voltron for the aerial battle.”

“The Empire’s presence is still in its early stages,” Acza explains, “but their terraforming development for the planet will cause the destruction of the Talpidae living there.”

“Then we have no choice,” Allura clenches her fist, never one to sit back while there was something she could do about it, “we will provide air support. Sent me the coordinates so that I may Teleduv there.”

Lance is still obviously eyeing Keith’s latest development. It was readily visible, and you were fighting the urge to do the same.

But you weren’t also trying to flick his ears.

Keith growls lowly.

Lance sniggers.

Pidge offers Lance a piece of paper to make paper balls with.

Hunk sighs long sufferingly, having resigned himself to the more childish side of his two friends. They were terrors. Put Pidge and Lance together, and they were gremlins out of a horror movie made for elementary school teachers.

You slip your hand into Keith’s, squeezing reassuringly. It would take some getting used to like anytime someone got a new haircut, but you would. Like his atrocious boots, they’d become an endearing part of him.

Keith squeezes your hand back.

Shiro nods, agreeing with Allura, “have the Talpidae been contacted.”

“Very much so,” Ezor chimes in, “they’re funny little people. And their sensory-”

“The point Ezor,” Lotor sighs, rubbing his nose bridge.

“They sent for help to the rebels. We were closest to their system,” Exor elaborates with a shrug, “they do not have the background to fight head on, and will evacuate most of their people into bunkers, but they have been digging under the new construction and weakening the structural integrity of the Galra outposts.”

“Very well,” Shiro accepts, “Princess Allura and our chief medic will meet with the Talpidae as a show of goodwill.”

“Our only medic,” Hunk points out.

Keith growls, his hand squeezing yours hard.

You all look over at him.

“Red Paladin,” Allura says, trying to look as professional as possible in front of her least favorite of Voltron’s allies, “is something the matter.” She shares a look with Shiro, but otherwise looks unsurprised at Keith’s less than human ears.

Or maybe she’d make a great poker played.

“Can’t you meet with the Talpidae after the battle,” Keith utters harshly.

“They may need immediate tactical support,” Allura reasons, “we should be there in person to provide it.”

“It’ll be fine Keith,” Shiro adds.

Their words do little to calm Keith down. His dark silky hair puffs up. His grip on your hand tightens and you feel miffed. You’d been on the ground working triage before. You might not be a fighter or pilot but you could look after yourself.

You pull your hand out of his. “I really don’t see what the problem is,” you tell Keith pointedly.

“I’ll watch Allura’s back and she’ll have mine.”

Allura nods. “Our chief medic is correct-”

His ears twitch, “You’re not exactly a fighter.”

Shiro covers his face with a hand.

Your brows furrow. You’re livid. “So! I won’t be fighting. We’ll be in the bunkers with the Talpidae. It’ll be safe so it doesn’t even matter.”

“If it’s perfectly safe then you don’t need to be there,” Keith’s voice breaks, a whine escaping his chest but you don’t care, done with the conversation.

“Yikes,” is Ezor’s quiet whisper.

You’re not a paladin so you don’t care, you just stalk off the bridge ready to go scream into your pillow in frustration. Or better yet, go for a swim and scream underwater.

“Wait-” Keith follows you.

You ignore him.

“I just-,” he keeps trying as you stalk down the stairs, deciding your room was better after all if only because you could lock Keith out.

“Listen-,” he whines.

“I didn’t mean-”

“You didn’t mean what,” you round on him, hands on your hips, pissed off and maybe some of its was from being stuck on this stupid ship all the damn time but like eighty percent was earned. You might not be taking on a squad of Galra soldiers, but you could take one on if it came to it.

Keith at least has the decency to look miserable, sad chirrups in his throat as he crosses his arms over his chest and looks at the ground.

“Well?” You tap your foot on the ground.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” he finally manages. “Especially if you don’t need to be there.”

“But I do,” you counter, “There’ll be people running into those bunkers having escaped soldiers and sentries and the faster they get treated the better chance they have.”

“I didn’t mean it,” Keith repeats himself. “You-you can hold your own.” He looks up at you through his bangs, still hunched in on himself.

“Obviously.” There’s no heat, the anger having deflated already. It was just white hot ache in your chest, hurt at the idea that Keith thought you would get in the way, that you had nothing of value to add to the Alliance and Voltron.

You bite your lip.

Don’t cry, you think to yourself.

You were being dumb.

He was just being plain stupid.

“I mean it,” Keith repeats, “I’m sorry. I was just looking for an excuse to make sure you were safe.”

“Right, because Allura can handle herself but I can’t.” Your voice cracks.

“No,” Keith says in a rush, “it’s not the same.”

“Because I can’t fight?”

“That’s not,” Keith runs a hand through his hair, “It’s me okay. I’m-I’ve always jumped into things without thinking, but I decided to go for it, like breaking Shiro out but now I’m doing things before I even notice and it’s all these stupid Galra instincts!”

You swallow.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you once more. “I didn’t mean to and I’m sorry. No one thinks you can’t handle yourself. That’s why Shiro paired you up with Allura, because he knows you’re capable of watching her back.”

Your smile is fragile as you look over at him, “yeah?”

“Yeah.” Keith holds your gaze, looking as skittish as a stray dog. Another whine escapes his throat.

What the heck.

You hug him, “you’re such a dumbass.” You understood why he’d worry. This was war. Pidge was on a two man campaign with Shiro to get Matt to stay on the Castle, both scared witless that Matt might die on a mission with the rebels. Ulaz had died so everyone could get away.

You’d had patients in the last decaphoebs you could do nothing but ease their pain. You’d had patients that you couldn’t even administer anything for the pain because of how torn apart they were: guts spilling out, charred people shapes that you were surprised to still find breathing.

The images would never leave you as long as you lived.

“I’m sorry.” Keith buries his head in the crook of your neck, his breath tickling your skin sent shivers down your spine.

You hug him tightly, aware that every battle could be your last: the last time you saw him. “You’ve said that already,” you tease, memorizing the smell of him, stale sweat and something cloying that you had wanted to bottle up from the moment you’d met him and had never found on anyone else. As embarrassing as it was to admit to anyone other than yourself, Keith smelled good. Really good.

Most people smelled like nothing at all.

He stiffens.

“But it’s nice to hear again.”

Keith smothers a laugh.

You kiss his hair. Boys were so dumb.

He purrs.

You smile goofily, warmth building under your skin, and toes curling up in your shoes. You should say something. Right?

At some point?

Or maybe it shouldn’t be said under the looming threat of an upcoming battle.

Fuck.

You can’t decide, so you say nothing at all.

——————

Bombs still pelt the surface.

Your teeth chatter as the ground shakes even deep underground. Even more soil falls onto you. Your spacesuit was more oche than white at this point as you carry an injured Talpidae in your arms. It’s arm had been completely blown off. Sluggish blue blood oozed out.

Allura was last, tailing the group.

You reach the bunker.

The sentries had followed some of the feeling Talpidae into the tunnels, but they’d been sorted out.

The people here were strange, russet in fur colouring, with no discernable eye, just strange pink flagella protruding from their nose and large claws for digging. They stood at about Pidge’s height.

The bunker seals and you get to work.

Tourniquet here, pain patch there. There were so many of them banged up.

The fight continued on the surface.

The paladins had to form Voltron.

You and Allura work as a team, she takes the bruises and broken bones with no immediate risk of death. You triage the worst of the Talpidae, giving away your precious stash of painkillers to those you can’t save and are not in for a quick death, a Talpidae lies twitching, it’s nose blown off but alive. Another holds it’s hand, but shakes their head when they look at you. They weren’t going to make it.

Training kicks in and you focus on saving those you can.

Your hands stain blue from the blood.

Allura works alongside you.

You cauterize a Talpidae named Soedob’s hand, the claws on their right limb were gone, but most of it was spared.

“You smell Galra,” Soedob utters, blinking out of the pain induced haze as the painkiller kicked in.

You half hear, half don’t, so focused on the task at hand. It was easier to not stop until you were finished and could curl up and sleep and not think about blood and war and Zarkon.

“We have Galra allies,” Allura answers diplomatically, leaving the issue of the half Galra paladin alone.

It irked you.

“No, not them,” Soedob notes. “Those had a different aura.”

“Smell,” you guess, finishing off. You hoped the fighting ended soon. You supply was not unlimited. The castle had better facilities.

“Is that what you call it?”

“Our primary sense is sight,” Allura explains, giving you a long look.

You shrug. You hadn’t even seen any of Lotor and his team. There hadn’t been time. It had all been relayed over coms, over video.

“Another then?”

You swallow thickly, flushing with embarrassment because you both spent time around Keith but Soedob was only smelling him on you and it’s not like you had been doing anything intimate…well, it had felt intimate, hugging Keith, but it wasn’t anything like when cadets snuck into each others dorm room, shoving a sock on the door handle in the universal symbol of don’t bother us. “The red paladin is part Galra.” Mercifully, your voice doesn’t shake from the embarrassment, but you can’t look at Allura.

“Ah,” Soedob nods, neither outraged nor pleased.

Then there’s no more time, you have more Talpidaes waiting for medical aid. You give their own healers some of your supplies, freeing up Allura to find the clan leaders.

You can feel Allura’s questioning glance on you.

——————

“Team meeting in the mess hall,” Shiro calls over the coms system.

“Mess hall,” Pidge rolls her eyes, “it’s the dining room.”

You snort.

“I like to think of it as the dining room too,” Hunk offers. “I mean there’s only eight of us. It’s sort of like being home again.”

“Mess hall makes me think of the garrison,” you admit, falling into step besides them. “and the food.”

“Ugh,” Pidge groans. “That was the worst. Matt wasn’t kidding.”

“It does make the space packs easier to digest,” you muse, “maybe that was the point.” It took the garrison two years to get to Mars. It was funny, once you’d thought that was a long way from home.

“I liked the cheese garlic bread,” Hunk allows.

“Food goo,” Pidge grins, “or the garrison space food?”

“Food goo.” Hunk doesn’t even have to think.

“Food goo,” you agree. “Though not Coran’s paladin special.”

“You don’t even eat that,” Hunk huffs, half outraged half amused, “you’re always like well I’m not a paladin so…”

You laugh. “Seeing it is more than enough.”

The rest of the ship’s inhabitants are already there waiting for you. Lance is trying to teach Coran how to play slide, moving very slow as he claps their hands together.

Shiro and Allura are in easy conversation. Her mice scamper around her feet.

Keith looks absolutely miserable next to Shiro, folding himself into the smallest possible size, trying to disappear. It was hard to reconcile the Keith that was quiet with the Red Paladin that shot first and asked questions later.

You smile at him, excited to see him, but also figuring he could use some reassurance, whatever it was going through his head. Keith meets your gaze and the corners of his mouth turn up, before he ducks away.

You know better than to take it personally.

It was Keith.

Your toes curl inside your shoes and you bite back your smile, suddenly aware of how much you might be revealing and not wanting Lance of all people to start a meeting by commenting on it. For him, it might be all fun and games, but you weren’t sure what to do with these newfound warm and fuzzy feelings. You sure as fuck didn’t want to be called out on it.

You weren’t sure what to do about liking Keith so your current plan of action was: nothing.

“Thank you everyone for being here,” Shiro claps his hands together, his leader impression defaulted at awkward dad. He thought he always had to be on. Despite being the most trained out of us, he’d only just started his career during the Kerberos mission.

You wonder if he’d picked up his leadership style partly from Pidge’s dad.

“Where else would we be,” Pidge shrugs, never one to miss a shot.

“All the same,” the older man smiles.

“Yeah, no problem my dude, bro,” Lance flashes finger guns at Shiro.

You snort, taking a seat between him and Hunk.

“But seriously, what’s up,” Lance leans forward. “Or is this some lowkey way to keep us on our toes,” he winks at Allura who smiles indulgently.

“I await the news alongside you paladins,” Allura answers, hands resting in her lap. She looks over at Shiro.

The whole room turns to look at Shiro.

He had called the meeting.

Meetings tended to be informational in nature: updates about the expansive war, rebels hailing Voltron for intervention, the Blade passing on the rare bit of information, and the always popular distress signals. But Shiro and Allura both looked too calm for that.

Keith goes rigid, a spring wound up too tight.

Hm.

You wondered if the elephant in the room would finally be addressed.

Shiro puts his hand on Keith’s shoulder, smiling encouragingly the way a parent dropping their child off for their first day of school would, “go ahead Keith.”

The red paladin focuses his gaze on Shiro, his expression more sour than it’s been in a long time.

The past few years had done a lot to get him to open up to everyone on board, but right now, he looks exactly like the stubborn closed off cadet he had been back on Earth.

His ears twitch slightly. He manages to look even more taunt, and you wonder if he’s going to wave this off. Then, he lets out a breath.

His body is stiff, but Keith no longer pulls away from Shiro. He looks down at his hands pensively, nails cut to the quick. “Right.”

You can feel the nervous energy of the rest of the room, leaning in, waiting to see what Keith wants to say.

“Mhm, go on,” Lance says, chin in hand.

Hunk elbows him in the side.

“Hey!” Lance is about to start in on Hunk.

“Guys,” you snap, shoving Lance’s shoulder.

“Okay, okay,” Lance zips his mouth and throws away the key, “shutting up.”

“Looks like that didn’t work,” Pidge snarks.

“Paladins,” Allura’s clear commanding voice rings out. When everyone shuts up again, she nods at Keith, “you may continue.”

He looks up at everyone through his bangs, “I’m going through Galra settling.”

Hunk looks over at Allura, who was far more familiar with all this alien mumble jumble than anyone else.

Shiro squeezes Keith’s shoulder.

“And that is,” you prompt gently, before Keith hastily decided that was all he needed to say and left.

He meets your waiting gaze. Under the ship’s bright rooms, his eyes were obviously violet, heavy on the purple. He’s chewing his bottom lip like he isn’t sure he wants to go through with saying any of this and you wonder if he must be thinking of how weird things were between everyone when he learned of the alien part of his heritage.

Your mouth quirks up into a smile.

You were more than willing to stuff someone into a cryopod if they bothered Keith. He may be part of Voltron, tasked with defending the universe, but you’d make sure there was someone to defend him.

An embarrassing rush of heat bubbles under your skin. You look away, nervous.

“Shiro,” Keith asks.

Shiro nods, wrapping his arms fully around Keith’s shoulder. “Galra settling is when Galra,” he looked like he was trying to figure out exactly what he was talking about as he said it. Aliens were weird. “When Galra reach a certain age their appearance locks in.” Even Shiro looks a little puzzled. He was a pilot, not a biologist. You knew organisms back on earth who could manipulate their genotypes, generally sex changes with the right environmental conditions, but you weren’t sure there was anything comparable to whatever this was. “The Galra are apparently very adaptable in individuals. That’s why there’s such a range of them.”

Huh.

That explained the fur, range of tails, more reptilian looking once, and the eyes.

You wanted a Galra biology course, a full semester long one. What exactly caused such a plasticity in their phenotype? Did the trait have to be encoded in their genotype to appear or was there something freakier, Allura’s space magic, going on?

“-because he’s half human and we don’t go through anything like this it’s more painful than it would be. Lotor said the chameleonic abilities of Alteans helped him when he went through this,” Shiro finishes without a satisfying or thorough explanation.

At least Keith wasn’t dying.

Thank god.

Thank whatever freaky Altean magic existed in the universe.

“So,” Lance starts, “it’s Galra puberty.”

In a split second Keith loses any self consciousness about the situation, “it’s not Galra puberty!” His hair puffs up and you have to fight the urge to laugh, covering your face with your hands.

“There’s…” Shiro glances at Keith, before Lance and Keith could really get into it, “there’s more.”

Keith looks mullish, but ultimately gives Shiro the go ahead.

“Part of these..changes,” the black paladin explains, “have brought out some Galra instincts.” Clearly he was having as much trouble grappling with what this meant as Keith was. Your body suddenly deciding to change was no fun when you had no context for it. “Among them, the need to scent family…”

Pidge tilts her head, “is this like the most convoluted and emotionally constipated way of asking for a hug,” she asks Keith.

Keith smiles wryly, “pretty much.”

“Oh come here dude,” Hunk grins, engulfing Keith and Shiro in a hug.

“Ah number four,” Coran points up in the air, “I am now just recalling the galra that lived on Altea having explained this once, of course it didn’t occur to me because of the apparent dominance of your human genes.”

“So they’re actually co-dominant,” you muse as Lance drags Pidge along for a “group hug!”

“No.no,” Pidge makes a half-hearted effort to wiggle out, being a younger sibling herself, was used to being subjected to affection. She smiles even as she struggles.

“It would seem so,” Coran nods, “though not every gene.”

“Just these.” You wonder if there’s a space equivalent of the human genome project.

“Lance,” Keith yelps, “that’s my foot.”

“Buddy, I am not feeling the love here.”

“Is it working,” Hunk asks, peering at Keith, “are you going to turn purple now?”

“No one turns purple from hugs,” Keith replies, annoyed but makes no move to pull away.

“Thank you for trusting us with this Keith,” Allura smiles, her eyes crinkling.

“Get in on this too Princess,” Shiro motions over, before catching your gaze, “you too. Don’t think you can get out of this. You’re part of Voltron too.”

You snort, and join the group hug.

Pidge’s elbow is a bony thorn in your side and there’s the slight hum from Shiro’s prosthetic, but it’s a good mix of warmth and intimacy with the people you were closest to in the entire universe. Allura’s shoulder presses into you back and it’s sort of ballooned to ridiculous proportions, Keith somewhere in the center of it all, his hair barely visible to you.

“Add cuddling Keith to the chore wheel,” Pidge proposes.

Keith groans.

“How about we let Keith decide,” Shiro proposes.

You snort, knowing him too well. “Are you willing to take that risk? Died-from lack of hugs.”

Lance laughs.

Shiro looks convinced by your stellar argument.

“I’m not that bad,” Keith grumbles.

“You’re a terrible hugger,” Lance argues back. “You’re all stiff, like you’re enduring one of Iverson’s paradox sims. Not as bad as my abuelo but still.”

Keith lunges for Lance.

Someone topples over.

Everyone falls.

You laugh, smothered by limps and someone’s hair in your mouth…maybe Hunk’s? You don’t move, worried about kicking someone’s head.

From somewhere, Keith does that low rumbling chest noise that reminds you of a cat purring happily.

No one makes fun of him for it.

——————

“You should comb your hair before we take the pod down,” you tell Keith. You’d spent your free time before this alliance dinner scrolling through a datapad, trying to learn names, where they hailed from, species, things that may prove useful.

Half a varga ago, Keith had found you balled up on a sofa, and sat next to you, his way of asking for physical comfort. You’d obliged him readily, throwing an arm over his shoulders and spooning him as you both laid on the sofa. He was already in the paladin uniforms that Allura had dug out once the alliance became a reality instead of a loose string of rebel groups fighting the Galra empire.

You’re both short and slight, fitting together perfectly.

You squash any feelings you have, this wasn’t about you, it was about him. You’d done it a thousand times with Hunk or Lance, fallen asleep listening to Allura, why should Keith be any different? (You know why.)

He’s reading the screen with you.

“I doubt they’d notice,” he remarks as you scroll to a particularly vivid color alien race with sensory appendages sprouting from their heads.

“You have a point desert bum,” you tease, “I’d rather be a bum by a beach town. All surfer bro.”

“Can you even surf,” he asks flatly.

“No. Learned how to swim at the garrison,” you admit. “But tanning by the water has to be more appealing than roasting under the Texas sun.”

“I like the desert.”

“I know.” You were pretty sure everyone just liked their homes.

“It’s quiet,” he admits, “and watching how the sunlight transforms the landscape…”

“It’s too big and wide,” you admit, thinking of space. Flat land that went on forever…empty dark space that went on forever.

“Good for driving,” Keith smirks.

You laugh. Or course that’s where his mind went. “Sure, but it all looks the same, everywhere you turn.” It was disorienting. To be fair, you were a city girl. Your background noise was cars honking and people yelling even at four in the morning. The garrison had been a big adjustment.

“It’s really not. You just have to look.”

“I’ll trust my gps,” you counter, “not my sense of direction. I’d probably end up one of those cautionary tales about mirages and deserts.”

“You can’t really get a good signal,” Keith replies lazily, his body slack against yours, “out there. It’s best to mark a trail with chalk if you don’t know the area.”

“But you do, know it I mean?”

“Out past the Garrison? Mhm. All of it. We used to go hiking…before,” he trails off.

You press your lips to his hair lightly, before shifting, “my arms asleep.”

“Sorry.”

“I don’t mind.” You sit up, “it’s nice. I used to put my sister to sleep this one year she had nightmares almost every night.”

“You miss her,” Keith states, sitting up, looking at you with his intense expression. Having someone focused one hundred percent on you was a new experience. He wasn’t thinking of a thousand other things, just you.

“I do. I miss everyone, but,” you shrug, “I’ll see them again. Meanwhile you’re stuck with me.” You smile fondly at Keith. “I’m going to change before we have to go to dinner.”

“I’d take fighting Zarkon anyday,” Keith mutters, cringing at the upcoming show of diplomacy. There was so much smiling and hand shaking. It was exhausting to be that extroverted with a roomful of strangers.

Even Lance zonked out after these things.

“Knock on wood,” you laugh.

_____________

Treaties have been signed. A wrecked Galra fleet floats in space above the planet your on today, but today’s battle is won.

One of Lotor’s General’s is here, Acza. She’s wary, and surprised at the warm reception she’d received. She might be Galra, but she’d been crucial in taking down the Galra base’s shields. Biolocks, Zarkon should really rethink those.

You sip at your thick drink, warm and flavored like cinnamon oatmeal, that chases off the chill of the night. The idea had been to sleep, your hands still ached from all the sutures and stitches you’d woven, but Allura refused to hear it, dragging you along. There would be time for sleep on the Castle, she’d claimed, joyous to have helped another besieged planet.

“My congratulations,” a Blade utters from behind their glowing mask.

You jump, not having known there was even a Blade here. They were allies, yet their anonymity that made them so useful in information gathering, created a gap between you. You had no way of knowing who this person was. Their suit obscuring any details, the mask a rank.

You couldn’t even see their eyes.

“For what,” you ask, puzzled. You hadn’t fought. Your skills made you most useful after the battle, trying to save lives and patch up wounds. It was important and emotional draining work, but you hardly won battles.

Because of the mask, you can’t get a read on their reaction. Blades. Spies. Maybe if you could see their eyes…

They nod, and walk off without explanation.

You watch them go, still confused until they disappear among the bodies loitering around, celebrating liberation.

It was a feat to disappear when you were eight feet tall.

First the Galra had avoided you like the plague, the black plague, now they were being cryptic as fuck.

You lean your head down, trying to sniff your armpits without making it too obvious. Was it the blood? Or the space bleach? That tended to linger.

You didn’t smell that bad. Certainly like bleach and rubbing alcohol…

You take another sip of your drink, looking around for a place to sit. You’d been on your feet for too long. You wanted to sleep.

Someone would find you.

You wander around. Smiling when someone notices you, and thanks you and you hurry to get away before they ask you a hundred questions. There were only eight humans in space. Well, seven and a half. You stood out.

They wanted Voltron, but you would do.

“There’s space here,” Acxa calls out.

“Thanks,” you plop down next to her, sagging into the seat. Oh, yeah, you were so freaking tired.

“Of course. You look dead.”

“Yeah,” you look around the rebel camp, “I’ve no clue how they have the energy.”

“It’s like that everywhere. This is their home,” Acza offers, “people fight hard for their homes.”

You nod, before looking over at the alien woman, “not avoiding me anymore then?”

She shrugs, not disputing the allegation. “No need anymore, now that you and Keith sorted yourselves out.” She’s so blunt about it. “Galra are so sensitive when settling. We didn’t want to cause any incidents.”

“Is this about the scenting?” You still hadn’t had time to read through the information you’d gotten your grubby little hands on.

She nods.

You put your drink down on the mossy ground. “Yeah, Keith explained it. Well, Shiro did, really. Lance is over the moon about having an excuse to bother Keith.” Now you really all were a family. You’d named it outloud.

Acxa’s brows furrow, “Lance?”

“I think he just misses his family a lot,” you offer. “We all do and while we’re family too, it’d be nice to see our family back on earth too.”

She frowns. “Keith and you are not,” she asks slowly.

“Me and Keith,” you flush, ducking away from her. “No-I, no. We’re not.” You should’ve gone back to the Castle the moment Allura turned her back. She would’ve never known.

Acxa’s frown becomes tinged with anger and worry, her hand grabs your wrist. “Galra have more than one type of scenting, between families, and between partners.”

“Oh.”

You try to connect the dots but your brain gets stuck between ideas. Scenting. Keith. You. You and Keith. It was right there but-

“Keith isn’t marking you as family,” she explains slowly, “he’s marking you as his partner.” Acxa waits until her words sink in before adding, “to do so without letting the other know…” She makes it clear what a social taboo that is.

But you’re one step behind her.

Did Keith like you?

You think back to all the times you’d been with him in the past few vargas, trying to pinpoint any hint: he’d smiled at you but he was happier now in general so it could be a coincidence…

“If you need,” Acxa offers, “I will help clarify the situation.” It’s an awfully kind gesture.

“No,” you say in a rush. “no. It’s-I think I need to go talk to Keith.” He’d known what he was doing…you could draw a thousand conclusions but nothing would be better than confronting him about it.

“If you’re sure.”

“I am,” you stand up, glancing around. During parties, Keith tended to find a quiet corner out of the way. He’d opened up, but he was still more of an introvert.

You find Keith lying stretched out in the shadow of a makeshift building, looking up at the stars. It’s his eyes that give him away, reflecting the light enough to be inhuman, nocturnal vision.

“We need to talk,” you wrap your arms around your body. You weren’t angry, just confused. Didn’t he know he could just come talk to you about it by now?

Keith looks up, startled, then stands. “Alright.” He sounds resigned, a man sentenced to detention for a month which was janitorial duties at the garrison. It kept even the most smartass cadets humble.

You look around.

No one was really here. You could hear the music and people a bit further into the heart of the camp. Here was good enough.

“I talked to Acxa,” you start, “she said-” you look down at the trampled vegetation underfoot. It was embarrassing to your human preconceptions to even think, let alone say, which was why you were pretty sure Keith didn’t mean any harm. Scenting meant nothing on earth, where he’d grown up. “She said you’ve been scenting me, which like I know but not that way?” You look up at him as realization sets in and he ducks his head, looking away. “Is it true?”

He crosses his arms over his chest. “I-,” he takes a deep breath before ranting, the agitation and months of buried emotions flooding out, “I hate this. I hate that I can hear the conversation outside and smell which direction Shiro’s in and how much my eyes hurt on the Castle from how bright it is but I don’t-I can’t say anything because I’m already enough of a freak. Before I was just the weird kid but now I’m just a fucking alien freak! There’s always so much going on and I don’t even know what’s next!”

You wait, wondering if there was more.

It was a lot of changes.

You couldn’t understand, there was nothing in your life comparable to your biology deciding to be a little more Galra after twenty years.

“And I tried not to-,” he admits, meeting your waiting gaze, “I tried to leave everyone alone so you wouldn’t,” Keith swallows, forcing himself to continue with an obvious disgust at himself, “you wouldn’t smell like me or whatever Lotor explained but I couldn’t-it was driving me crazy like this itch, this buzzing under my skull and seeing you guys with others-I thought I was going crazy until Lotor explained. And then when Lance would ruffle my hair or you would check that I wasn’t about to fall over and die and-,” he waves his hands in the air, “I would just zone out.”

“Oh,” you utter, recalling past events with a newfound understanding. Keith had been reaching out, all instinct even when he was trying not to be a bother. It broke your heart, how he always came from the perspective that he was an inconvenience.

“I did know,” he says in a small voice. “That-you…but I don’t know if it’s me or this, or all these things happening to me.”

Your expression wobbles. You bite your lower lip, trying to get a handle on it. How silly to worry about a crush when Keith was going through it.

“I like you, but I don’t know if I like you or if it’s just these stupid Galra instincts messing with my head.” Keith deflates, drawing into himself. “Everything

s…it’s been a lot.”

“I get it,” you utter, “maybe not the situation but I’m not mad. Though Acxa was ready to kick your ass and she totally could,” you try teasing.

But Keith flinches, looking away guiltily.

“I’m joking. I-I get why. It makes sense. It’s a lot to get used to.” You swallow, not sure what to do about anything either.

“Its a huge offence,” Keith utters, “that’s why she was pissed. Made worse because you can’t even tell…I-I couldn’t think straight and I…it took the edge off.”

“Scenting me?”

He nods.

You take a step towards him.

“I-,” Keith’s eyes meet yours, his attention entirely captivated by you. It sends a thrill down your spine. You’d seen how he could be when laser focused: on piloting, on training. “I know they say it’s wrong but you and Lance do stuff like that all the time. And I thought…I figured I could figure out how much of what I’m feeling is me and how much of it are these new instincts.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” you tell him. “I-you’re right, it’s whatever to me. Like, a Blade congratulated me earlier which was weird but fuck them you know? I can ‘smile and nod’,” you smile as fakely as possible to show what you mean, “through it so long as you’re okay.” He’d bled in your lap.

Keith looks a little unsteady, unsure what to do with your lack of anger. “You don’t-”

“So is it like galra marriage then?” You were curious as to what exactly the Blades were going to gossip about you and Keith.

He makes a choked sound. “Sort of. They bond. It can be broken but that generally means someone killed the other.”

“Let me guess,” you reply, “Zarkon fucked even that up.”

Keith nods.

“That guy’s the worst.” Your voice is light.

Keith snorts, smiling for a split second. “I won’t anymore. I’ll-”

“Keith,” your voice cracks as you out your hand on his arm to keep him from rubbing off, “if its really causing you all this additional confusion in too of everything…you can…” the words were too intimate to say, too charged with a sensuality that he clearly was figuring out. You were willing to wait. For him.

He was conflicted enough without you dumping your feelings on him.

“You don’t-”

You raise your hand, caressing the side of his face with the back of your hand, ghosting over the purple mark on his cheek, “I don’t mind.” Sure, you had a crush on him, you could admit that much, but more simply, you loved him.

This was a small ask.

Your gaze flickers to the tips of his ears.

You had washed his blood off your hands.

“Besides, shit’s hard enough. My arm falling asleep is a small price to pay if I can help you.”

Keith’s mouth quirks up in a smile.

You laugh, “come here.”

It finally sinks in that you weren’t just talking bs. You meant it, as you hug Keith, wrapping your arms around his middle. He smelled good in spite of the battle he’d been through earlier.

Without really thinking, you breathe in the scent of him.

Keith hugs you back, cuddling you against his chest, resting his chin on your shoulder.

You yawn. “want to sneak back into the castle?”

“Only if you tell Allura you’re the one who wanted to leave,” he deadpans dazedly.

You laugh.

——————

“Come,” Allura motions as you stand from one of the Castle’s weapons systems, “we must meet with the rebel leadership on planet.”

The planet was a farming camp.

The slaves were overworked and underfed and they had still revolted when they learned Voltron was near. Now, they were free.

“Princess,” Coran calls out, “it appears that number four is heading back to the ship.”

A pained expression crosses Allura’s broad features, her full mouth frowning, before she decides to pick her battles for the day. “I am sure Keith has a good reason for his actions.” She sounds like she’s trying to convince herself.

You don’t want to go down there either.

This entire last week had been spent synthesizing medicine and treating thousands of people made harder by the range of species. The garrison better give you that medical degree immediately.

“I’ll go check on him,” you say automatically, “he might need me to prep a pod.”

“Fantastic idea number five,” Coran believes your excuse.

“Let us know if anything happens,” Allura says, giving you a long look, before heading for the exit.

The central Galra soldiers had been taken out, but small bands of fighters were still fighting to their last breath. It’s why Voltron has remained on the planet.

The lions had roamed the landscape answering calls for aid and hunting down the last of Zarkon’s forces here.

You meet Keith in the red lion’s hanger.

He’s popping his helmet off, running a hand through his flattened hair. “I thought you were headed out with Allura?”

You shrug, suddenly feeling awkward. “I was, but I wanted to check on you first.” That was a normal thing to do for your friends. There was no reason to overthink things.

“I’m fine.”

He sets the helmet aside, working on undoing the armor off. There was dirt and dust but thankfully no blood to speak of, his or otherwise.

“Then I’ll see you there,” you ask.

Keith looks over, a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar, his smile slight when he replies, “I’m not heading there.” Blunt. Concise.

“It is depressing,” you admit. There was so much resource allocation and need planet-wide.

He raises a brow. “Oh. Yeah.”

“Keith?” Now you’re wondering what the real problem was. “What is it?”

“Does it matter. I don’t need to be there. Shiro and Allura can handle it.” He looks away, suddenly very interested in the wall. Unlike the rest of the ship, the red lion’s hanger was dim, in a permanent night cycle.

Pidge’s work.

“I think the people would like all of Voltron present.” Then you make a face, “oh god, I sound just like Allura don’t I?”

Keith laughs, “just a bit. As long as you don’t make us all meditate…”

“It’s so boring. I fall asleep.” You smile softly, “Seriously, go down for a moment. Then you can hide out here.”

“I-I’d rather not.” He shifts uncomfortably. “Four out of five is is fine.”

“I’m sure they’ll understand,” you agree.

“I’m sure they’ll be glad.”

“Keith-” you start, knowing he already felt hyper aware of how his appearance had changed. Before, it hadn’t really ever come up outside of the team. No one would tell and if Keith wasn’t vocal about it…now everyone in the entire universe probably knew.

There were rebel Galra, mostly in prisons and work camps. Feelings varied.

“That’s not true,” you say, not sure if it was true, “you helped free them.” You shift your weight onto your other foot, “there’s a few assholes everywhere.”

He gives you a long look. “The Galra enslaved all these people.”

“Pfft,” you wave off, “you look like one sixteenth Galra. And-”

“They stare.”

“Because you’re a paladin,” you reason. “Pidge is also cranky about the attention.”

Keith sighs.

The paladin armor lies in a discarded pile.

You step forward to him, “anyone would be lucky to have you as a pilot. And Voltron sort of lucked out when the red lion chose you.”

Keith’s eyes widen as he looks at you, pink dusting his cheeks.

In for a penny, in for a pound, you lean forward and kiss his cheek, ghosting over his skin, “face marks and all.” You can’t meet his gaze when you pull away, blushing fiercely.

Why did you do that!

God, you were so dumb-

He cups your cheeks and brushes his lips over yours.

Oh! Oh.

“Is-is this okay-,” Keith starts asking.

You feel giddy, smiling before kissing him. Yeah, it was okay.

#keith kogane #vld keith #keith x reader #voltron #mine #trying this agin to see if it shows up in the tags #as usual: is this any good?#was supposed to b smut but turned into fluff

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h0neypjm · 3 years

Text

Confident 02 | jjk

↳ Summary: After giving Jungkook the best suck of his life he’s left wondering if what you said was true. Was it really your first time? ‘Cause Jungkook thinks you might’ve lied.

↳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, college au, fuckboy! jk, our fav cheeky virgin reader!

↳ Rating: 18+

↳ Word count: 8.8k

↳ Warnings: swearing, mentions of past toxic relationship, mentions of being pressured into sex, mentions of body image, mentions of stds, Jungkook being very confused, no smut in this part

↳ a/n: here it is !!! thank you for all the love for the first part, i hope you enjoy this part ! please feel free to leave any feedback <3

↳ Series: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

Previously...

“She said it's her first time.” He pauses, looking up at his friends' concerned faces. “I think she might’ve lied.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Jungkook groans, cradling his head before banging it on the table. The utensils on the table rattle and clang, bringing unwanted attention to his mini breakdown. Taehyung is quick to place his hand under Jungkook's forehead just as he goes in for another blow. “Ok, Jungkook- Jungkook!” Jimin giggles beside him. “Fucking stop, people are staring.”

Jungkook pauses and subtly peeks out of his long bangs, checking to see that Taehyung’s words were indeed true. He breathes out and sits up in his chair, fixing his shirt to play off that he wasn’t just having a mental meltdown.

Jimin rolls his eyes, “soooo are you gonna talk now, cause’ I have a horrible headache and you’re really not helping.”

Jungkook nods opening his mouth to speak. “Alright so uh, I met a girl last night and-”

“I thought you went home?” Taehyung shoves Jimin’s shoulder and Jungkook glares, “yeah, well that clearly didn’t happen.” He rubs his temples, “could you do me a favour and let me speak first, and then you can ask the questions. Ok?”

The two boys nod, settling into their seats as Jungkook delves back into his story.

“Alright so anyways, I saw this girl and like, I haven’t ever seen her before? She was literally perfect”. He exhales looking at nothing at particular as he continues. “Gorgeous face, prettiest lips and oh! speaking of her lips, God the way she sucked-”

Despite what Jungkook said earlier, Taehyung feels the need to intervene. “Ok as much as I love a good suck myself, I need you to stop here, we don’t need the graphics.” Jimin nods in agreement even though it’s clear he’s not paying an ounce of attention. Jungkook smirks at the memory, but it soon drops as he remembers one tiny detail. He places his hands on the table, total seriousness etched onto his face. “But here’s the kicker, she said it was her first time.”

Confusion.

“So did you or did you not take her virginity?”Jungkook crosses his arms. “No, after that she just up and left.” “Wait, fuck”, Jungkook suddenly realises, “I didn’t even make her cum”, he groans and Taehyung bursts into laughter. This finally garners Jimin’s attention, his dazed eyes squinting. “Who’s the girl?” Jungkook sighs, “if you were listening before you would’ve heard me say that I don’t know her.” Jimin leans forward,“well can you at least describe her? I pretty much know everyone who attended the party”

Jungkook doesn’t have to think that hard. “She was wearing this plaid skirt and like a white top-” Jimin’s eyes widen, “Holy shit, Y/N?! Man, Jin’s gonna kill you.” This makes Jungkook pause, thoughts running back to the text he had received from Jin. “Wait, they’re not a thing are they?” Jimin chokes, “God no, they’ve been family friends since like forever, Jin’s practically her protective older brother.”

That explained his text earlier. Jungkook furrows his brows, more questions beginning to arise and spill out of his mouth. “How come I’ve never met her and if she’s a virgin, then how- how did-”, Taehyung cuts in, “dude she’s done other things before.” More confusion. “And how would you know that?” Taehyung smirks, shrugging as he gets up out of his chair. “I'm gonna get a drink, Jimin, you want anything?” God, his head is spinning. “Sure, you know my usual.”

It was the way Taehyung spoke too casually, like your lifestyle choices were common knowledge. How the fuck hasn’t he met you, yet his friends seem to be well acquainted with your existence? “What the fuck was that look?” He focuses on Taehyung from where he orders his drinks. “Did you see it Jimin? Kinda sus.”

Jimin remains nonchalant, blowing a strand of hair out of his sight before answering one of Jungkook’s urgent queries. “Jin never introduced you to her because well…” He looks Jungkook up and down with an unimpressed look. “You would get your grimy hands on her immediately. And Then after that, It’s like she never existed ” Jungkook opens his mouth, rebuttal on the tip of his tongue. “Don’t argue with me boy, the second you met her, you already wanted her on your dick, did you not?”

Jungkook is shocked to say the least, jaw hanging open as Taehyung makes his way back to the table, drinks in hand. “Oh God, what did you tell him?” Jungkook slams his fist on the table, yet again grabbing the attention of people around them. “That is not true! I have standards, and what about you two. You guys are just as bad.” He points accusingly at the bruises peeking out of Taehyung’s loose shirt, “Look at Tae! Those hickies are probably a combination of the three girls he fucked last week!”

Jimin doesn’t want to get kicked out of the cafe, so he attempts to calm down a soon to be raging Jungkook. “Look, to put it nicely, you’re a heartbreaker, you lead girls on whereas Tae and I actually tell people we’re not interested in anything more than a hookup.”

Jungkook seems to understand where he’s coming from. He can admit, he does have quite the reputation if the amount of times he’s been slapped in the face says anything. But now, with this newfound information, he can also admit that you’ve certainly intrigued him, that was for sure.

Jungkook wants to see you again.

Not for a rump in the sheets, but rather a friendly conversation.

It was just his luck that he had heard through the grapevine that you had been invited to one of Jin’s small pool party get togethers. If Jungkook was being honest, he’s quite excited to be within your vicinity again but he knows he needs to keep his cool. Especially after the series of death threats and slaps on the neck from Jin. He shudders at the memory.

And so, Jungkook prepares himself more than he usually does. He wants to do it right this time. No flirty teasing, just friendly innocent conversation. He makes sure to carefully pick out the right swim shorts that display the thickness of his thighs. Not for any sexual gain, more so to show off the hours spent at the gym in hopes that maybe he can get you to become more interested in him as he is to you. He sounds desperate, and he’s sure you’re not that materialistic, but he has this nagging want to impress you somehow. He huffs and does a few pushups, for extra measure of course.

He’s not sure as to why his brain decided to make him act this way. You’re more or less a stranger to him. However, when Jungkook begins his short journey to Jin’s house he really lets himself think, which usually isn't a good idea.

Jungkook doesn’t know you, but you’ve definitely left an imprint in his mind which makes you all the more fascinating. It’s news to him that you seem to be very close to his small circle of friends which is probably thanks to your deeply rooted friendship with Jin. That new piece of information had been bugging him since the day he met up with Taehyung and Jimin. Surely his reputation couldn’t be the only reason why you’ve never met him. Right?

Parking his car in Jin’s enormous driveway, he makes his way up to the grand front door. Sometimes he wishes he could live a life like Jin. He grew up being fed with a silver spoon his whole life. Having everything paid for instead of rolling in the miseries of college student debt.

Once Jungkook makes his way into the large house, he sets down the drinks he had brought onto the kitchen counter and watches his best friends goof around and enjoy the summer sun with a warm grin. He chuckles quietly when Jin pushes Jimin and his perfectly styled hair into the pool. Jimin screams a slur of curses while Jin quickly runs beside a sleeping Yoongi for protection.

Slipping out of his loose oversized shirt, Jungkook scans the entirety of Jin’s backyard, looking for the face that has been haunting him since that fateful night. She’s not here. He reexamines the pool seeing nothing but the chaotic mess of his favourite people, and he sighs. Just as he prepares to step out into the blazing sun, the sound of his stomach growling stops him in his tracks.

Thinking about you made him nervous. So nervous that his stomach couldn’t bear the thought of breakfast. However, after the realisation that you hadn’t arrived just yet, makes him do a full one eighty, long strides taking him to Jin’s expensive fridge.

His head is already deep into the fridge when he hears the sound of the sliding door opening, revealing a dripping Jin with a small scowl on his face. It seems Jimin finally got his revenge. “I’m starving you got any leftovers?” Jungkook queries, his head popping out from the cool air of the fridge.

Jin grabs a fresh towel and whacks it against Jungkook’s naked back. “What’s the point of even asking when you’re already going through my damn fridge!” Jungkook flashes Jin an innocent grin and glows when he discovers a small bowl of Chinese takeout.

It very quickly dawns on Jungkook that in order to enjoy a nice warm meal, he would need to heat it up. His stomach all but roars, not used to the lack of food in its system and Jungkook wants to cry. He wants to cry and it's not from the angry hunger pains, but rather something extremely laughable. He has to use a fucking microwave.

You’re running late, there’s sweat running down your brow and you feel like your arms will fall off any second. The weight of snacks and alcohol you had brought making you stagger as you finally enter Jin’s enormous home.

The one and only thing that’s on your mind is the refreshing feeling of slipping into Jin’s pool while sipping on an iced beverage. This motivates you enough to put all the strength left in your exhausted being to speedily walk into the kitchen and throw everything onto the counter.

“AHH FUCK!” You flinch at the sudden scream, hugging your body protectively. Jungkook slowly pops out from behind the other side of the counter, his doe eyes big and wide. “You fucking scared me Jesus!” He exclaims, running a hand through sweaty bangs.

The air had escaped your lungs long before you could utter your next sentence as the sight before you has you freezing. There he was, Jeon Jungkook in all his glory. Tanned skin and taut muscle sculpted by the Gods. You didn’t mean to stare, but how could you not! Your eyes had a mind of their own. He’s glorious, every single part of him, and you’re not even afraid to admit it. Your eyes are quick to eat him up, tracing the art staining the whole of his right arm and you wonder what every swirl of ink means to him.

Jungkook coughs awkwardly, going in to scratch at his neck. You imagined he would tease you about your obvious ogling, but it never came. Strange. “Why were you hiding?” You ask, dropping your gaze from his body in order to arrange the snacks into neat piles, using it as an excuse to slowly step closer to him. “Oh! Uh-”, he scratches his head, looking down at his feet before jumping five feet into the air, a startled gasp leaving his lips when the timer of the microwave goes off.

You burst into laughter and Jungkook flushes in embarrassment. Jin had told you about Jungkook’s embarrassing fear of microwaves but you never thought you would see it first hand. You hold in the laughs that tickle your throat and try to settle him down by lightly touching his shoulder. He flinches at your touch.

“Are you okay?” You’re really close to him now. Your chest is practically pressed up against his and Jungkook gulps. How was it possible that you could look even more stunning than the last time he saw you? Your cheeks are glowing from the soft golden rays of the afternoon sun and the way you look up at him, your soft smile curling makes his head spin.

“Yeah, I’m good”, he breaks eye contact in embarrassment. “Sorry, just uh, microwaves are scary you know?” You giggle up at him. Is this really Jungkook? The Jungkook you’ve seen flaunting a new girl every week just to abruptly break her heart when he can’t promise anything more than sex?

You’re not complaining, he’s quite adorable like this.

You’re not too sure why his personality has the sudden switch up. It could possibly be the fact that he’s with his closest friends and doesn’t feel the need to put up his playboy persona. Although, the way he blushes when he looks at you plays a different story. Do you make him nervous? Surely not, if the memories of that heated night are anything to go by.

“So uh, are you gonna head into the pool?” His empty stomach is long forgotten as he gestures to the large backyard, you nod up at him excitedly. It’s then Jin decides to bust back into the kitchen, a stern gaze set on his face. “Y/N, can I speak with you for a minute?” Jungkook cautiously takes a step away from you, your bodies no longer close to each other and you notice this with a small frown.

“Yeah, sure”, you relent walking over to Jin who places a protective arm around your shoulders. Unknowingly to you, Jin traps Jungkook down with a hard stare and signals Jungkook to go outside, to which he accepts with a nod.

“I know what you’re gonna say, and no I do not see him like that”, you cross your arms defensively. Jin sighs, “I just don’t wanna see you get hurt again.” He places his hands on your shoulders, full lecture mode on. “Let’s face it, you’re a hopeless romantic, I can’t trust that you won’t do something stupid, but you and Jungkook… You’re both important friends of mine and-”

You’ve heard his overprotective brotherly speech plenty of times, “I know, and I’m so thankful that you’re looking out for me. I just don’t see the harm in befriending him, you’ve never let me speak to him before.” Jin releases his hold on your shoulders to fix the mess of his wet hair, “and there's a reason for that.”

Why was he so damn hard-headed. Jin loves Jungkook like he loves his family. It just didn't make any sense to you that Jin could approve of their friendship but when it comes to you, he completely shields you away from any interactions with the so called playboy.

“When are you going to stop protecting me from boys?” Jin senses your frustration immediately. “I may be younger than you, but I’m also an adult just like you. An adult that can make her own choices.” You exhale slowly, “You’ve let me befriend your whole group and they’ve been nothing but wonderful to me, I don’t see the wrong in getting to know Jungkook.”

Jin lets his guard down. You do have a point, maybe he was being a little too overprotective. He gives you a soft smile, you look away.

“You’re right, I am in no position to dictate your decisions and who you choose to hang around with, it was wrong of me to treat you like that. Jin looks out into the pool, watching Jungkook tackle Taehyung. “I’m sorry I was a bit too harsh, Jungkook’s a good kid, he just got into the wrong crowd at first. Although, you gotta promise to tell me if he hurts you, cause he knows I’ll beat his ass.”

You laugh accepting his apology, “are you sure about that? He’s a literal muscle pig.” You both begin to make your way outside and Jin shoves you slightly, “hey! You know I’m right.” Jin shakes his head and brings you into a comforting hug. “Yeah, yeah whatever.” He rolls his eyes, you beam up at him and together you walk out into the warm sunlight.

It hadn’t even been a second since you stepped outside, and already Yoongi’s long term girlfriend, Jieun is squealing your way. “Y/N! I’m so happy you're finally here, the amount of testosterone out here was starting to make me feel faint.” You giggle at her exasperated tone, pulling her into a tight hug.

Nonchalantly you peel off your flowy sundress, it’s stickiness from your sweat making you cringe. “I missed you last week, why didn’t you come to class?” Jiuen pouts, “I'm sorry bub, I somehow caught a cold, but I trust you have some notes for me.”

The way Jieun flutters her lashes at you innocently forces a roll from your eyes. Slathering sunscreen onto your arms, you reprimand her, “I swear you’re only using me for my notes, you literally never listen in class! Can you get my back please?”

She hums while you turn around, her small hands kneading sunscreen from your shoulder bones to the small dip in your back. Jieun continues to blabber on about the joys of life, not even checking if you’re listening to a single word she says. Instead your eyes are zeroed in on a certain someone.

Your staring is blatantly obvious but you don’t care. It’s only when Taehyung spots your burning gaze with a small smirk does he signal Jungkook to turn around to meet your flirty grin.

Holy shit

The sun does a real great job of highlighting the gorgeous curves of your body adorned in quite possibly the smallest baby blue bikini he’s seen on a woman. Your breasts practically spill out of the tiny triangle cups and the pretty colour compliments your skin beautifully.

Whilst Jungkook can admit you have one of the hottest bodies he’s seen in a while, his eyes surprisingly don't linger on your delicious curves for too long. Instead, he finds himself utterly enamoured by the way your eyes crinkle slightly when you smile prettily at him, your cheeks glowing with it.

It suddenly dawns on him that you are the first girl that has truly enchanted him, and no, your ridiculously gorgeous body had little to do with it.

Jungkook does not mind this change one bit.

So, instead of staring at you like a gaping goldfish, he matches your flirtatious body language with a boyish grin and a small wave. His previous nerves dissipating only to be replaced by confidence and polished charm. He doesn’t want to scare you off with his sudden look of epiphany just yet, but the new unfamiliar feeling you give him is surely doing exactly that.

“My, my, Yoongi wasn’t lying.” Jieun stifles a giggle when she notices how Jungkook’s attention has steered towards you and only you. You’re quick to turn around, brows furrowed. “What are you on about?”

“Oh you know… You and Jungkook”

You grimace, tired of the repeated topic of conversation. “Just because I sucked his dick once does not mean we're a thing”

“Oh really? He’s asked me an awful lot of questions about you I was beginning to think otherwise”

“Wait, really?”

Jieun has the widest cheshire grin plastered on her face, it's starting to look quite unsettling.

“Really.”

You’re thoroughly shocked to say the least. You thought your fast, fleeting blowjob, sort of, was nothing special. A usual escapade to get his daily fill. Ordinary. Unmemorable.

However, it seems to be quite the opposite.

Jieun grabs your hand and swings it back and forth, exactly like a mother would do, although she’s merely two years older than you. “I know Jin’s been up your ass about Jungkook and frankly I don’t blame him he’s still a little shit from time to time but, he’s actually quite fun to be around and honestly I think his playboy tendencies seemed to dial down a bit since he met us.” The two of you giggle quietly amongst each other, quick feet making your way closer to the pool to avoid the scorching pavement.

Your toes are the first to dip into the pool and you practically moan at the cold water melting away the blistering haze that sticks onto your skin. The water is icy at your waist and you love it. “So my advice would be not to worry about him, instead it's his little army of plastic bimbos that you should watch out for.”

“Ahh, internalised misogyny. We love to see it.”

Jieun acknowledges you with a hum as the two of you float around the calming abyss. She then swims closer to you, nodding her head into the direction of a lonely Jungkook, who lazily stares at your alluring form. “I think your loverboy over there wants to talk to you.”

Jieun swims away before you can protest, leaving you to face the handsome man before you. His eyes are round and docile, yet his stare is tantalising, it pulls you in as if he’s slowly reeling you in with a rope.

The water delicately ripples around your body when you approach him and you internally sigh in awe at the striking features of his stunning face. You want to use this opportunity to finally get to know him, and perhaps form a new friendship.

You take note of the lack of Jin’s hawk-like eyes or for better the lack of any eyes on the two of you. You’re alone, huddled into one of the far corners of the pool, your conversation private, just for two pairs of ears.

You open your mouth to speak, “So-”

“I-”

An uncomfortable silence stills the air and you both halt your words to giggle quietly amongst yourselves. God, this is awkward.

“You go first”, You offer, tucking a wet strand of hair behind your ear. Jungkook follows the subtle movement of your fingers before taking a deep breath.

“I feel like we should discuss the elephant in the room”

You're stunned. “Huh?”

“You know… That Friday night?”

Of course you knew what he was referring too, yet you wondered why as you honestly didn’t think that night had much impact on the man.

With a raised brow you ask, “What about it?”

“I’ve just had a lot of... thoughts”

You scratch your head feeling puzzled. You’re sure Jungkook has had better blowjobs in his lifetime. Hell, Jungkook did most of the work that night. “Do you usually discuss the past hookups you have, or am I just lucky today?”

You’re teasing him, nevertheless Jungkook tilts his head back towards the sky. All he wants is clarification, only this conversation is heading down an awkward path, so he decides to spit out what’s been bothering him for the past few days.

“Okay listen, I know this is odd to say, but ever since that night, It’s like I can’t get you out of my head.”

Your ego inflates at his statement and you smirk. You knew you could suck dick well, but according to Jungkook you seem to have quite the talent.

You smile proudly, “damn, look at me go, I can’t believe I have the campus playboy wrapped around my finger.”

Jungkook scoffs, both in annoyance and embarrassment because shit, he could have worded that differently, now he sounds like the clingy girls he fucks.

“Yeah, yeah let’s not pretend like I was the only one enjoying myself here. Weren’t you the one practically begging to be touched?”

You’re amused. “Weren’t you the one who couldn’t make me cum. Yet came from their own handjob?”

Jungkook tongues his cheek and looks away. The way you speak so casually intimidates him. No girl has ever spoken to him this way, in fact, Jungkook’s the one who usually likes to tease. He can slowly feel the creeping heat alighting his cheeks and God does he hope you don’t notice.

You patiently wait for Jungkook’s reply, a sly grin adorned on your pretty face. However, Jungkook doesn’t say anything, rather he frowns and immaturely splashes water at your face.

“Jungkook!” You sputter, wiping at your face to rid of the chlorine in your eyes. “What the fuck was that for?”

He shrugs, “sorry my hand must’ve slipped”

You don’t take that for an answer, your petty nature crawling out as you splash him back harder than he had done. “Hand slipped, my ass.”

You cross your arms smugly, a small laugh blossoming out of your mouth when Jungkook cutely rubs at his eyes.

It’s after a minute when you realise Jungkook hasn’t stopped furiously rubbing his eyes. The circular motions of his hand move so intensely that it begins to look painful and irritating. “Fuck, it stings”, he exclaims in agony.

Shit, you inwardly curse, gently touching his wrist, concern lacing your features because you didn’t think getting chlorinated water in one's eye would sting that much. You analyse his facial expressions closely and you wince at the redness surrounding his eyes from his harsh rubbing.

On the contrary, Jungkook knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s competitive and won’t back down from a fight, even if it’s just fun banter, so he continues his little scheme just for the fun of it and hides his small grin under his large hands.

You’re now slightly panicked, “fuck, Jungkook I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit the water that hard I-”

Jungkook cracks.

Ever so slowly, he peeps his eyes out at you and watches with a mischievous smirk as your face morphs from alarmed to annoyed in less than a millisecond.

You tighten your grip on his wrist and attempt to slap his hard chest with your free hand, however Jungkook’s reflexes are fast and he grasps your hand tightly, a teasing glint in his eye.

“You little shit-”

All of a sudden a loud holler is heard from the front door, rousing a relaxed Jin out of his chair as he sprints while simultaneously yelling at the ruckus being made. It’s then a stampede of both familiar and unfamiliar faces come crashing in. Some jump straight into the pool to cool off from the blazing sun while others rush to the table of assorted alcohol, desperate to get an ounce of it in their system.

Word seemed to go around about Jin’s supposed small get-together unbelievably fast, causing the once tranquil Kim Seokjin into a raging volcano.

You’re pressed right up against Jungkook’s solid chest and he surprisingly pays you no mind, even though your perky tits are deliciously pushed up perfectly against his body. Jungkook’s eyes are not settled on them, rather he pays close attention to the amount of people dangerously plunging into the pool at a fast rate.

Jungkook protectively hugs your shoulders to shield you from the rowdy party goers who definitely do not understand the definition of personal space. Your heart swells when he then delicately places your head in the crook of his neck and wraps an arm around your fairly exposed body, essentially guarding you from frantic wet limbs and ignorant individuals.

You feel comfortable and safe, so comfortable that you wouldn’t mind staying like this for a while if it weren’t for the throng of college students delving into the cooling water.

Jin’s house begins to fill with unexpected guests very quickly and you wonder how Jin is handling the situation. You suppose not very well when you see him whipping people with towels, red ears making an appearance and his booming voice following him.

Jungkook wants to get out and he’s sure you feel the same way which is why he smoothly slots his hand into your own, long fingers wrapping around your hand to carefully pull you through the growing crowd of people in the pool.

Whilst pushing past a variety of college students you are met with many stares, even worse, numerous envious eyes and whispers of possible gossip. You try your best to avoid their gazes, the hard stares reminding you of the last time Jungkook held your hand to push through groups of people.

Water drips down the curves of your body and lands in little pools around you when you step out of the pool. At this point you’ve garnered even more turning heads that examine every inch of your skin closely. Their stares itch your skin and you feel akin to an animal kept in a zoo enclosure, curious eyes breaking down your confidence, you want to hide.

You usually like to pride yourself on your confidence because you know you’re hot and you know your worth. It had taken many failed relationships to build up your self love and nourish the scars and memories of questioning if you’re good enough.

You fight on and squeeze Jungkook’s hand, mostly for some sort of reassurance. It shocks you when he astonishingly squeezes back and softly rubs his thumb over the back of your hand. It’s almost as if he knows how you’re feeling.

You glance up at him shyly. Jungkook keeps his eyes straight ahead. He smiles a different kind of smile than the one he had directed to you a few hours ago. His lips are in a permanent smug smirk. His usual playboy smile. He flashes it at everyone as if he’s asking for their approval and even goes in to high-five a few people who are unrecognisable to you. You soon realise that this is what Jungkook thrives on. People, validation and his notorious reputation he’s created for himself.

Jungkook lights up at the presence of crowds, flirty smiles and people calling his name, whereas you want to crawl into your skin and run away because from the perspective of outsiders it looks like you’re just another one of Jungkook’s flings that will soon be forgotten by next week.

Well, you hope you won’t turn out to be one of them.

At last you find yourself away from the heart of the party, your dress in hand but your body still wet nonetheless. Jungkook is in the same state as yourself, droplets of water dribbling from his dark hair and onto the timber flooring. He leans into your ear, “I’ll go get us some towels, stay here.”

He’s gone before you can reply, making small conversation when he passes by various people, his boisterous laugh echoing down the halls.

You’re alone now, and defenceless at that. There’s not many people you know here, besides the few odd people you share a class with and some sleazy frat boys that hold a similar reputation to Jungkook. You want to find Jieun so you can hug her or maybe ask her if she can take you home, but she is nowhere to be found.

Fuck, You remember leaving your bag on the kitchen table, unsupervised with many personal belongings stowed away inside. Using your dress to cover the most of your exposed skin like a blanket, you stride over to the kitchen and sigh in relief when you find your bag untouched and in perfect condition.

Snatching up your bag, you grab your phone and immediately text Jieun to find out where the fuck she’s hiding, but there’s a part of you that knows she’s probably fucking Yoongi somewhere. Traitor.

Jungkook finds you to be in a completely different part of the house than where he asked you, one towel wrapped around his neck and the other draped over his arm. You haven’t noticed him yet, your frantic fingers texting a treacherous Jieun, “princess, didn’t I tell you to stay put?”

You’re startled. Switching your phone off you stick your arm out, waiting for Jungkook to pass you the towel but he doesn't. Jungkook gently pushes your shoulders so that you turn away from him and carefully wraps the towel around your body like a cape. You hold the edges of the fabric to help him hug the towel around yourself, keeping it tighter to your body.

Your voice is quiet, “thank you.”

Jungkook leans down to meet your face, “What was that?”

Even though Jungkook had been in the pool longer than you, his cologne still sticks to his skin and you kind of want to breathe more of it in, but that would be weird.

“Oh, I said thank you.”

You’re close to him again, although this time he towers over you with a look almost identical to a predator meeting its prey.

Jungkook’s eyes flirt around your face and descend. He shamelessly drinks up the swell of your breasts and whatever skin is visible amidst the fluffy towel around you. It’s strange. You had noticed Jungkook doing the exact same thing when you were alone with him. The difference though was that his looks were cursory as if he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Now, It's like a new persona had taken over him and he was ready to pounce at any sign of a green light.

He’s stuck in a trance, fuckboy tinted glasses fogging his vision.

You force out a giggle and playfully shove his shoulder, “my eyes are up here, you know.”

His reply comes lighting fast, he’s definitely been in this position before. “I know, just admiring them.”

Jungkook wants to hit himself the second his reply spewed out of his mouth. He desperately wants to reassure your unimpressed (though also very cute) face, because goddammit he wanted to be respectful. Jungkook knows he has a tendency to slip into a new personality when the right amount of people hyped him. Call it being two faced, he knows it's one of his fatal flaws.

“I'm sorry.”

He says it genuinely.

Jungkook only just got to properly meet you, he doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression! He can admit, your first ever official meeting (moreso hookup) wasn’t ideal, yet the way Jin dragged him through the mud undoubtedly made him understand that you weren’t the type of woman that should ever undergo the treatment he puts his hookups through. Scratch that, any woman shouldn’t be treated the way Jungkook treats them.

You're now fully covered under the towel, not a sliver of skin on display. You don’t know if his apology was genuine. “It’s ok I guess, I expected nothing less from you anyways.”

“Right.” He’s messed up.

You clear your throat, “I’m gonna go get changed, maybe look for Jieun unless-”

Jungkook finishes your sentence, “-she’s fucking Yoongi.”

You exhale, “yeah.”

“Jeon Jungkook!”

The voice makes you halt at its familiar tone. Jungkook doesn’t notice your growing panic as he too freezes in his spot.

No, it can’t be.

The world plays in slow motion when he walks into your line of vision. His assertive stride, smug smile and sharp eyes.

Jeong Suho.

His name explodes inside of you like a blistering fire yet your heart feels ice cold. He is the very man you have spent weeks trying to avoid and even more trying to get out of your head.

The world plays at a normal speed when he approaches Jungkook. Their facial expressions are the same, the way they greet each other is the same. They’re practically the same breed of fuckboy, born from the same mother.

“Been awhile since I’ve seen you around.”

Jeong Suho was a person that Jungkook didn’t really mind, In fact there was a point in Jungkook’s life where he would’ve considered Suho to be one of his closest friends. They were two peas in a pod freshmen year of college. Never giving a fuck about their education and always present for any opportunity to get completely wasted with as many girls they could possibly seduce. Nowadays, Jungkook would rather keep his distance from him.

On the contrary, you were one of the many girls that had fallen deeply for Suho’s alluring charm. You fell so hard, you thought that maybe just maybe there was a possibility that you could secure a future with him. Obviously that was not the case.

You thank your lucky stars that Jungkook was there to distract Suho while you make your haste escape. All you need to do now is somehow locate an unoccupied bathroom, preferably without having to walk in on someone getting it on, and then you could get the hell out of there.

You must admit, you look quite ridiculous right now. Navy blue towel wrapped tightly around your body, your small head peeking through. You could probably pass as some form of E.T cosplay right now. You don’t care if you look rude, pushing and shoving whoever stands in your way. You only have one goal and you’re so so close to succeeding-

“Wait, Y/N! Is that you?”

Fuck.

Do you run? Maybe duck behind some poor innocent student looking for a good time? You huff, you're already sticking out like a sore thumb, there’s no use in trying to hide when the enemy has already spotted you. Even worse Jungkook motions you over with a wide gleaming smile. If only he knew how much you’re dreading this interaction.

Grudgingly, you walk over, looking like an irritated gremlin with your towel still firmly secured around you. Jungkook makes matters worse by pushing the towel off your head, releasing your scruffy ball of hair. You grimace.

“I didn’t know you knew Y/N?”

Suho sends a smirk your way. You however, glower.

“Yeah we go way back, don’t we baby?”

You force a tight lipped smile, howbeit you look as if you have a mild case of constipation.

“Sure.” It comes out rough through gritted teeth.

Suho notes your frustration, a sly grin carving onto his punchable face. He turns towards Jungkook, seemingly blocking you from their conversation, yet you know Suho wants you to hear what he has to say.

“You know it’s a shame. Y/N’s gorgeous, ten outta ten body, knows how to put it to good use, however she never let me fuck her. Don’t you think that’s weird?”

Jungkook stays silent for a minute, eyeing your shaking fists and angry eyebrows. Jungkook may be dumb, but he sure knows how to read a room, thus leading him to the conclusion that your relationship with Suho isn’t something you’re very fond of and that he should probably get you out of here.

“Uhhh no, that’s not weird at all actually. What I think is weird is the fact that you think you have this sick claim on every girl you’ve defiled and even worse, you’ve always had this strange need to chase after every virgin you see like some perverted cherry picker. Yeah, that’s weird.”

Suho laughs right in his face, spit grossly tickling his skin. “That’s rich coming from you Jeon, weren't you quite the cherry picker in your freshman days, no?”

Jungkook doesn’t know what he expected from this conversation. It definitely wasn’t this.

It's obvious that Jungkook isn’t a saint, he really fucking far from it. Although, one thing's for sure, it’s his absolute hatred for the way his brain was wired in his freshman year of college. Yes, Jungkook still remains as one of the standing campus fuckboys but he’s gained a few more brain cells since then.

Jungkook opens his mouth to retort, only to be met with Suho’s back as he turns his attention towards you.

“Y/N, darling if I were you i’d make a run for it, ya know keep your chastity intact or whatever.” His smile is saccharine sweet, though his words are sickly sour.

The months of pent up anger stored within your being bubbles and overflows like a bad science experiment. You’ve quickly decided that now’s that time to expose the shitty excuse of a man, and quite frankly you don’t care that you have an audience. Actually, an audience would make this all the better.

Your finger is strong, pointing accusingly at his broad chest. “You know what you stupid motherfucker? Don’t waltz in here with that dumb smile of yours when you know you have some disgusting cheesy infection growing down there.”

Suho’s eyes widen slightly. It was no secret he was a walking STD, just about infecting every girl that was naive enough to sit on his dick.

Everyone at the party has definitely stopped to listen to what you have to say. You even spot Jin from the corner of your eye sending you a proud smile. “And while we're on the topic of cheese, Learn how to wash your fucking dick!”

You don’t let him have a moment to speak, grabbing Jungkook’s hand and pulling him out of the house.

A few people applaud, some girls praise you on your way out. You give them no mind, you’ve had enough for tonight.

Jungkook starts his car, no questions asked. It’s obvious to him that there’s bad blood between you and Suho. What you don’t know is that Jungkook can also relate.

Technically there was no bad blood between them, moreso the hurtful memories and manipulation Suho put him through. To put it simply, Suho was probably the worst influence Jungkook could ever have as a vunerable freshman.

The crunch of gravel and soft melodies that spill out of Jungkook’s radio converse with eachother and fill the defeaning silence that sits between you and Jungkook.

Jungkook doesn’t even know where he’s going, he just drives.

Every so often he checks up on you from the corner of his eye. Your knees stick tightly together and point away from him. Your fingers curl and uncurl, leaving cresent moons in your skin. And to finish it off, your face remains still, hostility completely washing over your features. If Jungkook didn’t know any better he would think you’d jump out of his car and make a run for it at the chance of him stopping the car.

It’s seven sniffles later when Jungkook decides he knows where he should take you.

The night sky is clear and the stars burn brightly to accompany the full round moon. It’s the perfect setting for release and maybe a screaming session if you’re up for it.

Jungkook makes a stop behind a forest of tall trees and a dirt path. You sit up immediately.

“Where are we?” Your eyes are rimmed with tears, “I want to go home.”

Jungkook shuts the engine off, “you never told me where you live.”

“Well you never asked!”

Maybe you shouldn’t have yelled because from the looks of it, Jungkook just wants to help you out and clearly you’re not being the friendliest right now.

You curl back into yourself, “sorry”, another sniffle.

Jungkook brings your fists into his hands and warmly opens them up. You refuse to look at him, it doesn’t deter Jungkook one bit.

Tenderly he brings a finger under your chin, gradually bringing your eyes up to his. Jungkook takes his time with you, careful to not set you off until you’re face to face with his warm eyes.

“I brought you here because it’s apparent we both need let out some pent up steam.” He drags his fingers delicately across the curve of your chin and back into his lap. His touch is fleeting, you miss it already. “I just thought you may want to vent or just shout out into the void, it’s up to you.” You nod, fully trusting Jungkook’s intentions. “And at any time you feel like going home just say the word and I’ll take you there, okay?”

Your heart swells in adoration at his caring nature, though you can’t help but wonder how he can have such a sudden change in personality depending on where he is and who he’s with. It’s unnerving.

Jungkook clicks his seatbelt off and heads out the car, “put your dress back on princess, I’ll be out here waiting for you.” You mutter your confirmation and do as he asks.

The cool summer air kisses your skin and runs through your hair as you step out of the car. Jungkook is already by your side dressed in an oversize hoodie with another in his hand as well as a fuzzy blanket.

Jungkook steps closer to you, holding the hem of his hoodie to slip over your body. Without a second thought you raise your hands causing Jungkook to chuckle at how cute you look dwarfed in his clothes.

The same cologne you smelled on his skin earlier lingers on every fibre of fabric around you. His scent is everywhere, swirling around your head, instantly calming down your anxieties. You smile at him, “Lead the way Jungkook.”

Jungkook leads you up a small hill and you notice the trees opening up to display a lush field of grass. However, the sight before you leaves you in absolute wonder. You stand completely still and take it all in.

The night sky is dark but the city below illuminates is beautifully. Your gaze bounces over all the buildings, skyscrapers and their dazzling bright lights. It’s peaceful up here, you decide as you take a glimpse of the hundreds of tall structures looking so tiny, so ant-like.

Jungkook is settled behind you, his legs comfortably folded underneath himself. He remembers what it was like the first time he saw the view, which is why he doesn’t blame your stunned silence and glazed eyes.

“How did you find this place?”

You find your way towards Jungkook and plant yourself right beside him. “I don’t know, I was just driving aimlessly one night and found it, It’s nice right.”

You hum, “it’s beautiful.”

Jungkook murmurs in agreement as you lie down on the woolly blanket beneath you. The stars twinkle and glimmer amongst the deep blue sky, creating a serene experience. You shut your eyes.

“I hate him.”

Jungkook looks down at you, you don’t see him though. “Suho?”

“Yeah”, you exhale deeply, “I can’t believe I had to see him again.”

Although Jungkook knows you can’t see him, he swivels his body around to face you properly. “Did you guys date or something?”

You scoff, “pffft you know Suho doesn’t date anyone.” You open your eyes, meeting a pair of round docile ones. You continue, “Suho was the first guy who every gave me an ounce of attention. Before him guys never looked my way. Jungkook remains silent, letting you pour out what’s on your mind.

“Suho had me fooled, I thought I was special to him, thought he saw something in me that was different from the others. Turns out that was his game after all”

You speak so animatedly, your hands wave around in the air, your eyebrows scrunch when the memories come back to you. “It’s stupid really, how I used to gush to him about finding the one person in the universe that was created just for me. I guess he used this as my weak point.”

Inhale, exhale.

“He made me believe he was that special person for me, used it as an excuse to pressure me into sex.” A tear rolls down the side of your face, falling perfectly in a straight line. “I almost gave in, but something just felt so wrong. Every time I said no he would call me terrible names, tell me that no one would want me if I never gave them what they wanted. And I believed him.”

Another tear escapes your wet orbs, Jungkook is there to wipe it this time.

“I broke it off after I found out he fucked my roommate and gave her some disease.” You chuckle, “I guess I’m lucky I never let him fuck me huh?”

Jungkook’s heart breaks at your saddened eyes and the way Suho treated you, he sweeps a stray hair out of you face. “I think you dodged a bullet there princess, what he did to you was pure evil, no one, and especially you don’t deserve that”

You sit up, wiping remaining tears and thanking him as you go, “It’s your turn now.” You pat his thigh, “tell me why Suho got you so riled up tonight.”

Jungkook shuffles in his spot, “It’s actually kind of similar to you.”

You gasp sarcastically, “no way he pressured you into sex too?”

He laughs, eyes squeezing shut, “No, no, nothing like that.”

You lean closer to Jungkook, giving him the same attention he had given you. “My father left when my mother found out she was pregnant with me, so growing up I had no male figure present in my life. My mother stopped at nothing to give me that to the point that almost every week I’d wake up and see a new man drinking out of my favourite mug. I didn’t mind it because I was only a child and some part of me always hoped they would stay, but they never did.”

“My mom was a hopeless romantic. She held so much sentimental and idealistic views on love that it stuck to me. She always told me that there was someone special out there just for me.” You smile at the similar belief, Jungkook sighs.

“Cut to college, Suho was the first friend I made. I had no experience with girls whatsoever, and I still held on to my mother’s faith. Whenever I talked to Suho about it he would always shut me down or make fun of me.”

“He told me that all my feelings are bullshit, and that I only felt that way because I’ve never hooked up with anyone before. Next thing I knew we were going to parties every week getting absolutely shitfaced and fucking every girl I laid eyes on.”

You nod, listening intently. “And tonight, he hit a nerve. What he said made me realise that I’m just as bad as him. He moulded me into this person and now I have a reputation.”

Jungkook’s eyes drop, “he broke my concept of love before I even got to experience it.”

You never knew Jungkook was in a place like this. You always thought he was like Suho, built to break hearts and show no emotion when it came to love. Jungkook was nothing like that. His heart was truly big, desperately longing for someone.

Placing your hand on top of his own you comfort him as best as you can, “oh, Jungkook, trust me when I tell you this, the love in your heart is not broken. Think about it, most people you’ve met have been through college right?” He nods, “there are so many other people out there that you’ve never met, soon you’ll be able to find that someone and learn how to love. I know you present yourself as this emotionless playboy, but once you let that part of you go it’ll feel so freeing.”

Jungkook stares deeply into your eyes, he’s so thankful that he decided to bring you here, he can’t contain his happiness.

“Can I like, hug you?” Jungkook asks shyly. You smile, and it’s so big and bright Jungkook might as well be staring at the sun. Before he knows it, you’re tackling him into the most wholesome hug he’s ever had. You’re warm and you smell like vanilla, It feels like home.

“Get up”, he says abruptly, extending his arm to pull up your confused self.

“What-”, Jungkook cuts you off, “have you ever just let yourself scream?”

Jungkook has intertwined your hands together, and your heart pounds at the realisation of how well they fit together. “Well, no but I assume that’s what we’re about to do right now.”

He pulls you closer to the edge of the small hill, the view of the city sparkles right in front of you. “On the count of three, one- two- three!”

You scream, you let it all out and God does it feel refreshing.

The two of you sound utterly insane, but none you give a single fuck. You scream until your lungs burn and your throat itches you to stop.

The volume of both of your voices ring out into the night sky only for the moon, stars and yourselves. The night is still young but Jungkook wouldn’t have it any other way.

With you he lets go of everything, all the past mistakes, all the hurt because at this moment he feels like he could fly, soar into the clouds.

He feels infinite.

Taglist <3

@zibermuda @uskookie @jeonscandies @melaninkpops @apollukee @hollowtree10 @liliskies @madygswich @pjmochii @eggbutnotyolk @gyukult @yukiehyukie @purplepearl07 (couldn’t tag) @tae165 @youurkryptonite @94ser0da @french-myfries @zippytheshark37 (couldn’t tag) @we8joon @tearvantae @emrysts @inspinkyring

#ficswithluv #h0neypjm #mine #jungkook #Jungkook Fanfiction #jungkook smut #bts #bts fanfiction #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jimin #taehyung #hoseok #seokjin #yoongi #namjoon

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