#and wanting my fantasy writing life to be a bit happier to compensate for my own personal struggles | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

woofools · 4 years

Text

Years ago I had a creative writing assignment while I was neck-deep in a Yin Yang Yo! hyperfixation, so I basically lifted a bunch of characters from the show, put them in a human AU setting, and changed their names.

BUT, I was talking with @yuckisalesbian, who was like “hey I’d read that!” This one’s for you, pal.

So here it is! A (sort of, very very loose) human/modern day AU! (Names changed back for clarity.)

Please be merciful this was written a while ago, as I’ve said. Beware of swears.

There was a series of crashes and the sound of glass breaking, then a muffled glugging noise. A pause, then, in unison,

“We’re so dead.”

Yo didn’t move from his spot in bed. He wasn’t sure of the exact time (checking it would require moving), but he was sure that it was too early for this shit. He entertained the thought of ignoring the sounds of rising calamity and just dropping back off to sleep, but then the smoke alarm went off. Regretfully, he had to let the fantasy of further sleep drop back to the hopeful abyss it’d sprung from. The noise, if nothing else, would keep him awake.

He still didn’t move, though.

There was the sound of feet approaching at a semi-frantic clip, and then he heard his door being thrown open.

“Heeeeeyyy, Yo, buddy, you awake?”

It was Yang. Yo grunted.

“Cool, that’s cool, so um, hey! Quick, completely random question that has absolutely nothing to do with our current situation: where do we keep the fire extinguisher?”

Yo heard Yin frantically yelling for her brother from the kitchen, and grumbled, “Back of the closet.”

“YANG!!”

“’KaycoolthanksYobye!”

And with that, his door slammed shut.

Yo stayed where he was for another thirty seconds, this time trying to convince himself that two twelve-year-olds could absolutely handle a fire on their own. Absolutely. In no way did they require his help. None at all.

Yang was distantly yelling, “How do you work this thing?!” as Yin screamed, “Squeeze it! Squeeze it!”

Yo groaned into his pillow, and pushed himself upright.

*****

An hour later, after the fire had been put out, the shards of dishware had been disposed of, and the half-gallon of milk had been mopped off the floor, the three of them sat on the sofa eating cereal out of pans (all the other bowl-like instruments were either broken or dirty). The twins kept glancing at each other. Yo braced himself.

Sure enough, after a minute or so of mental-twin-communication – or whatever the hell he was witnessing – Yang began, “So hey, Yo—”

“No,” he said through a mouthful of cereal.

Yin sputtered. “We haven’t even asked you anything yet!”

“Still no.”

Yang stuck his lip out. “Why not?”

Yo gave him an unimpressed, annoyed look. “Because I have to buy a new microwave.”

Both twins deflated.

“We were trying to make you breakfast,” Yin offered meekly.

“So you could butter me up for whatever you’re trying to ask for? Stick to something noncombustible next time.”

He watched the pair deflate further, staring dolefully into the last dregs of their cereal. Ah, and there was the guilt, right on schedule. Which he felt was (mostly) unfounded; he was fairly certain they weren’t as broken up as they were pretending to be, anyway.

And yet, here he was, falling for it.

“What were you gonna ask me?” he half-groaned.

The fact that they both instantly perked up only added to his “they’re just putting it on” –theory.

Yin began, “So our school’s hosting this thing—”

“—it’s kind of like a talent show—” Yang threw in.

“—and we signed up for it—”

“—because who’s more talented than us?—”

“And families and stuff can come to watch—”

“Yo, you have to come watch us!”

“Come see us do our bit pleasepleaseplease!”

They said all this very fast, and at roughly the same time. Yo reeled.

“…Lemme get this straight,” he said slowly. “You two were planning to bribe me into coming to see your school thing?”

“Yeah.”

“Pretty much.”

“Which won’t actually cost me anything other than my time?” Yo went on.

“Uh… yes?”

“Is that a trick question?”

Yo wasn’t sure what to make of the outrageously hopeful faces boring into his soul. “That’s… that’s not something that needs bribing…”

“That mean you’ll come?” they asked in unison.

“I– yeah, knuckleheads, that means I’ll come.”

He rode out the mini-explosion of joy and excitement by grumbling that this was probably the stupidest reason they’d had to date for inadvertently destroying his kitchen.

*****

The twins left for a nearby park shortly after finishing their cereal, claiming they needed to go practice their act. They refused to tell him what the act was exactly, because for some reason kids relished the idea of surprises. Yo, who was old, took surprises with a mixture of apprehension and distaste. But it was making them happier than he’d seen thus far, so alright, fine, whatever. “Surprise” it was.

Yo was grudgingly heading out to Sears to pick up a new microwave. Microwavable meals had been the majority of what they’d been living on, so not having a usable one around the apartment would only make life that much more difficult. As the “adult” it was his sad duty to put aside his plans for the day to go get one. As compensation, he decided that this meant that there were two kids who wouldn’t be getting an allowance for the next three months. He hadn’t bothered to mention that to them yet. That should be a fun conversation.

He stood waiting for the elevator, absently swinging his keys, when a voice down the hall suddenly decided to take a metaphorical cheese grater to his eardrums:

“Yo? That you down there? Oooh how’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in ages!”

He heard the woman shuffling down the hall towards him, and weighed the merits of pretending to have a heart attack and die. She linked arms with him before he could make up his mind.

“Hello Edna,” he said stiffly instead.

“Oh, Yo, it’s so good to see you, I was getting so worried! I never see you out and about lately, and whenever I go to check on you, you aren’t home!”

“Really? Huh. What a strange and completely unintentional happenstance.”

“I told my Herman— I said, ‘Herman, if poor Yo doesn’t show up soon, I’m going to need you to do something Herman!’ And d’y’know what he said? He said, ‘Yes Mother!’ He’s such a good boy, my Herman, he was worried about you too—”

“Interesting,” Yo grumbled, internally demanding God tell him why the elevator was taking so long.

“So you gonna to tell me where you been? Where you going now?”

Not seeing a way out, Yo said, “I have to go get a new microwave.”

“Really?! Why’s that?”

The elevator doors finally opened, but just as Yo was about to (happily) excuse himself, he realized what had taken it so long in the first place: a couple of guys were trying to move a couch. How they’d managed to cram the thing in there was a mystery to Yo, but now it seemed to be his unhappy privilege to get to watch them try to wriggle it out.

Despondently, he replied, “Kids blew up the old one.”

“Oh yeah, you’ve got those kids living with you now…” Edna’s grip on his arm suddenly got a little tighter. “So, what are they anyway? Niece and nephew? Second cousins?”

“Uh… no? They’re… y’know, mine.”

“Really.” Unless he was imagining things, her tone had iced over just a touch. “Adopted?”

“…Yes and no…”

“What?”

This was undeniably the last thing Yo wanted to be talking about right now. But then, talking to Edna was undeniably the last thing he wanted to be doing period, so in a way it kind of fit. “They’re my real kids – biologically, I mean – but I’ve only really been their ‘parent’ since last year.”

“Ah. And the mother?”

“Gone.” And fuck you Edna, because that was all he was saying on the matter.

But apparently that was good enough for her, because all she said was “I see,” and then resumed snuggling into his arm, warm and bubbly as ever. “I’ll bet she just took the kids and ran, didn’t she? How horrible for you! Well, I guess she got her just desserts, isn’t that right Yo? And now you have your precious little babies back!”

Yo didn’t say anything this time. He was too busy trying to convince himself that it was indeed a real person hanging off him, not some cartoon escaped from a kids’ show.

“But you said they blew up your microwave? That must be something they picked up from their mother’s side, I’ll bet you any money— Y’know Yo, if you want, I could send Herman over to talk to them for you— OOH! We could have a family dinner together! The three of you could come by tonight, I’ll make my famous creamed pork just for the occasion—”

The guys had finally freed the couch, thank Jesus. Swiftly untangling himself, Yo said, “Sorry, I’ve got plans,” and practically leapt into the elevator. The last thing he saw as the doors closed was Edna looking as though she’d just had her favorite treat snatched out from under her nose. Sighing in relief, he slumped against the back wall of the elevator.

He’d made a solemn promise to himself that the only way he’d ever have dinner with Edna Laskey was if someone’s life hung in the balance. He had no intention of breaking that promise today.

*****

Yang stuck the landing from his jump off the monkey bars, then spun around to face his sister, arms outstretched in showmanship. Yin nodded, smiling.

“Nice. I still think we should have some streamers though…”

Yang made a face. “We don’t need any stupid streamers, Yin. The act’s fine the way it is.”

“Says the guy who wanted to use rocket packs…”

“It would’ve been cool!”

“Uh-huh. Tell me again, where did you think we were going to get the rocket packs?” Yin asked, head tilted challengingly.

Yang pouted, and didn’t answer.

“I rest my case.”

“…still would’ve been cool…”

“Still would’ve been completely impossible, meathead.”

Yang stuck out his tongue, and his sister returned the gesture. Then his face lit up.

“Okay wait hold on… If we did use streamers—” (Yin squealed,) “—Lemme finish. If we used streamers, then could we also add some fight moves?”

Yin suddenly looked much less enthused. “‘Fight moves’?”

“Yeah, like karate kicks and stuff. We could throw ‘em in at the end.” Yang took the opportunity to display his karate-kicking prowess, with copious amounts of “hi-yah!”s and “chee-hoo-wah!”s for good measure. With a final, vicious kick, his sneaker went flying off.

“Nice going, dork-butt,” Yin said dully as she watched the shoe fly through the air.

The park they were in was, unfortunately, at the top of a high hill. At the bottom, there was a Walgreens and an attached parking lot. The twins watched the shoe plummet from the sky before rolling down the hill, right underneath the maroon Impala parked at the edge of the lot.

“Aw crud,” Yang groaned, stalking down the hill. His sister hopped up from where she sat and trailed after him, snickering.

Upon reaching the car, Yang ducked down and stretched his arm as far as he could. Which, since he was a twelve-year-old, wasn’t very far at all.

“I can’t get it,” he grunted. “Can you reach it from the other side?”

Yin circled around the car and imitated her brother’s actions, with similar results. “Nope,” she called back. “Try crawling under on your stomach.”

Yang grumbled irritably to himself, but nonetheless dropped to his stomach and began trying to worm his way under the car. Yin straightened up, using the door handle as leverage.

The door opened.

Yin stumbled, landing hard on her rear. A chunky Manilla envelope fell from the car and landed in her lap.

“What’re you doing?” Yang asked from under the car.

“The– the door opened.”

She heard rapid shuffling from under the car. Seconds later her brother came from around the front, hopping on one foot as he tried to tug his sneaker back on. By that point she’d already gotten to her feet, and was just about to toss the envelope back into the car and slam the door.

“What’s this?” Yang asked, plucking the envelope from her hand.

“It fell out of the car,” she said, trying to snatch it back. Yang dodged her hand and retreated several paces.

“Whatcha think’s in here?” he asked, holding it up to the light as if trying to see through it.

“It doesn’t matter dorkasaurus, it’s not ours! Give it back!”

“Lighten up dorkasaurus-rex,” he said, lifting the metal tab, “I’m not gonna hurt it.”

“Yang, don’t—!” but he’d already lifted the flap.

“Holy—”

Yin moved to her brother’s side and peeked into the envelope he was holding. Her jaw went slack.

The envelope was filled with thick rolls of hundred dollar bills.

“Put it back, Yang,” Yin begged. “If the owner comes back and catches us holding this—”

Yang hastily resealed the envelope and lobbed it back into the car. It landed in the center of the bench seat in the back, on top of a pile of blankets that had been heaped there. Yin could also see what looked like a champagne glass full of water (??) in the cup holder, and several journals strewn about the floor. As she wondered what any of these things were doing in the back of an Impala, she noticed, through a crack in the blankets—

She screamed and grabbed her brother’s wrist, dragging him back up the hill as fast as she could manage and ignoring his alarmed questions.

As she’d looked at the pile of blankets, she’d seen an eye looking back.

*****

Yo didn’t know up from down when it came to appliances, so after thirty minutes of futilely trying to compare microwaves against each other, he broke down and just bought the cheapest one they offered. As he exited the store with the box under his arm, he felt his cell buzz insistently in his pocket. The ID read “yin.”

“Y’ello?”

Of all the things he could have possibly expected to hear on the other end of the line, frantic, hysterical sobbing wasn’t on the list.

“Yin?”

She was saying something, repeating it over and over, but he’d be damned if he could pull a single legible word from the mess.

“Yin? Yin, you gotta calm down, what happened? Yin—?”

Yin gave a sudden loud exclamation, there was a sharp sound he couldn’t quite place, then silence.

“Yin…?”

For a horrible second, Yo thought the call had gotten dropped. But there was what sounded like shuffling from the other end; was that someone messing with the phone, or some kind of weird feedback? Then, a distant, very male, very adult voice said,

“That just won’t do, now will it?”

The line went dead.

*****

The cop had a bristly blonde mustache that hovered over the stubble covering the rest of his chin. His paunch threatened the integrity of his shirt’s buttons, and he had sweat stains under his arms. He paced absently in front of Yo while his partner sat off to the side behind a table, watching them. After another moment of silence, the mustached cop said, “Tell me what happened one more time.”

Yo’s fists clenched involuntarily, but he steadied himself with a deep breath. “I woke up this morning to a lot of noise because my kids had accidentally blown up the microwave—”

“No,” interrupted the cop, “from the beginning.”

Yo faltered. “That– That is the—”

“Where’d you get the kids in the first place?” the cop’s partner specified, the fluorescent lights creating a shining spot on his balding head.

“From… Their Mom went missing a year ago—”

“And what was your relationship to her?” asked the first cop, who was now standing directly in front of Yo, staring down at him.

Yo shifted a bit in his uncomfortable plastic seat. “Is there a professional way to say ‘one-night stand’?”

“Did you know your ‘one-night stand’ had gotten pregnant as a result of that night?” Mustache asked.

“…yeah. She told me.”

“But you didn’t want kids, did you?” asked Mustache, sneering.

Taken aback by the cop’s sudden hostility, Yo blurted, “What does this have to do with—?”

“Answer the question,” Baldy interjected.

Yo was quiet for a second, feeling suddenly disoriented. Eventually, he managed to grind out the half-lie, “No. Not at the time.”

Mustachio looked grimly triumphant. The queasy feeling Yo had gotten when he’d first heard Yin sobbing over the phone now had company: a twitching, pulsating kind of foreboding. He was having a harder time working out the origin of this new feeling, though.

“Keep going,” Mustache pressed (though Yo was starting to realize he most likely knew all this already). “How did you end up taking care of the kids you’d previously abandoned?”

“Their Mom had gone missing, and there was no one else to look after them,” Yo said, feeling like a child being grilled by a particularly sadistic teacher.

“So she did,” said Mustache, now falling heavily into the seat in front of Yo. “We had a look at the file before we brought you in, didn’t we Brian?”

Baldy nodded, producing a folder from somewhere underneath the desk and handing it to his partner. Mustache casually flipped through the papers inside.

“Mom was supposed to pick the kids up from school. Never showed. They had to walk home. Called the police four days later when she still didn’t show up. Kids didn’t have anyone else to stay with, so they briefly went into foster care. You, Mr. Yo,” the cop’s eyes darted up to observe Yo briefly, “were on their birth certificates as their biological father, so you were contacted. You showed up, the situation was explained, and after all the legal issues were ironed out, the kids were packed off to live with you. That sound about right?”

The cop’s steadfast refusal to focus on the fact that two children had just been abducted in favor of rehashing a year-old case made Yo’s frustration (and phantom sense of dread) increase by a factor of five. He nodded stiffly and hoped he would get to the point.

Mustache carelessly tossed the folder back onto the desk and pushed himself out of his chair. “Kind of suspicious that both your kids and their mom would inexplicably go missing, don’t you think? Especially only about a year apart from each other…”

He resumed his pacing, speaking almost thoughtfully. “Here’s what I think happened: I don’t think you planned on so much as calling this woman after you were done with her, so when she calls you saying she’s pregnant, you panic and hit the bricks. Years down the road, she tracks you down. Maybe she’s in desperate need of money. Maybe she just wants you to finally do right by your kids. Doesn’t really matter the reason; you want nothing to do with it. Angry accident or preplanned move, one way or another that girl ends up dead.

“I don’t know how or where you got rid of the body; that’s an issue for another day. Bottom line is you thought that was the end of things. But then you get the call. They tracked you down. There’s no one else to pawn the kids off on. And you don’t like that.

“Now the story as I see it can go one of two ways at this point: either you’d decided before they’d even moved in that they wouldn’t be staying with you for long, or you’d tolerated them until they made your microwave go bang, and then that set you off. Either way, you decided to do exactly what you did the last time you had a problem you couldn’t get rid of. Isn’t that right?”

The cop was staring at him with savage triumph, every inch the person who thought they’d seen through and dismantled a cunning ruse. Yo stared back in dumbstruck silence. He understood the foreboding he felt now, and understanding only made it stronger.

The police thought he was responsible for the disappearance of his children.

They weren’t going to help him.

*****

It was 2:00 am before the police finally let him leave. They didn’t have enough evidence to hold him, so when hours of trying to bully a confession out of him didn’t work, they let him go with a warning not to leave town and the promise/threat that they’d be in touch. By the time Yo got back to his darkened apartment, he was so numb that a faraway part of his consciousness questioned if he was still even a real person at all.

He closed the apartment door behind him, but paused as he went to lock it. Slowly, he removed his hand from the latch. He went to walk away, but stopped as he got to the corner of the hallway leading to the bedrooms, looking back at the door.

Sliding against the wall, he sat down on the floor and stared at the door.

He sat there for hours trying to convince himself they wouldn’t be coming back through it. He didn’t listen.

*****

Yin was sitting on the couch, trying to read a book. Yang was also sitting on the couch, trying to annoy her by imitating various bodily functions. Usually the twins’ squabbling set him on edge, but right at that moment Yo couldn’t have cared less. They were home, bickering like they always did, unhurt and whole. They both went silent when he hugged them, but then Yo wasn’t normally a hugger, so their surprise was justified. He suspected he’d be doing a lot more of it from this point on though, if he ever let go of them to begin with—

The phone rang.

Yo jolted slightly, and looked around, disoriented and groggy. He was on the floor, slumped against the wall facing the door of the apartment. Where had the twins gone? They’d been here, he’d felt the weight of them in his arms, heard their voices, they’d been here—

He stood up, head sent spinning, and stumbled down the hall. They’d gone to their room. They were just in their room. He ignored the phone.

Yin’s bed was neatly made, while Yang’s merely had its blankets haphazardly thrown back up over the bed. But they weren’t there.

Reality came smashing back down on his head. They weren’t there. They hadn’t been there all night. He didn’t know where they were.

The phone rang and rang in the background. Yo made no move to answer it. Eventually, it went silent. They weren’t there.

Haltingly, he pried himself away from the doorway. He wondered, dully, distantly, what he should do with himself now. The question was met with an agonizing barrage of white noise.

The phone rang again.

Yo stared at it for a couple of seconds before slowly reaching over and lifting the phone from the charger. He answered it with nothing more than a small “hm?”

“Took you long enough,” snapped the person on the other end. For a moment the white noise returned to completely consume the scope of Yo’s thoughts, and then he was white-knuckling the phone as he held it to his ear, eyes wide. The voice on the other end of the phone was the same one he’d heard when Yin and Yang had gone missing.

“You’ve misplaced a pair of things, correct? Did you know to find things you’ve lost, sometimes it helps to retrace your steps back from the place you lost them?” The voice paused. “In case you happen to be a complete imbecile, be at the park in twenty minutes. If you’re late or bring anyone with you, we won’t be speaking.”

They hung up before Yo could get a word in.

#I speak #Yin Yang Yo #yin #yang #master yo #I remember being proud of this #I actually managed to make my teacher go ''what do you mean that's all there is??'' at any rate

10 notes · View notes

topicprinter · 6 years

Link

Research has shown that the fastest way to increase happiness is by becoming more grateful. This post will give you three scientific experiments to prove the importance of gratitude, then explain to you exactly how to become grateful, which will make you healthier and happier.All you need are these: certainty of judgment in the present moment; action for the common good in the present moment; and an attitude of gratitude in the present moment for anything that comes your way. — Marcus AureliusWhat Is Gratitude?When I think of gratitude I think of it as a way of living. It has been proven to benefit many (and some unexpected) areas of our lives - from health to happiness to the way we interact with others. I think because of its origin in Buddhism, I automatically associate it with mindfulness. Gratitude and mindfulness are very similar: focus on the present moment as well as appreciation for what we have now instead of always wanting more.Feeling and expressing gratitude shifts our focus onto the positive things in life, compensating for our brain's natural inclination to focus on threats and worries.Image.Because of this, gratitude creates positive emotions like joy, love, fulfilment which all undo the grip of negative emotions like anger, anxiety and sadness.The ProofThe world’s leading expert on gratitude is Dr. Robert Emmons, a professor of psychology at the University of California. Dr Emmons examined the effects of writing gratitude diaries on almost 200 college undergraduates. Students were divided into three groups, and each group wrote 10 weekly diaries focusing on gratitude (blessings), hassles and annoyances, or neutral events. Those in the gratitude group were told:“There are many things in our lives, both large and small, that we might be grateful about. Think back over the past week and write down … up to five things in your life that you are grateful or thankful for.”At the end of 10 weeks, those in the gratitude group were feeling more positive about their lives as a whole, more optimistic about the upcoming week and spending more time exercising. Yet the gratitude group did not lead to a more positive mood, as the researchers had anticipated.Perhaps focusing on gratitude only once a week was not frequent enough to change mood. Therefore, the researchers conducted a second study which increased the frequency of the diaries to once daily (for two weeks).Results showed that, as the researchers had predicted, those in the gratitude condition experienced a more positive mood during the two-week period than those in the other groups, and they were also more likely to report doing acts of service, such as helping someone solve a problem or offering emotional support to others.The researchers then wanted to test the effect of gratitude on long term health. The third study asked 65 adults with neuromuscular disease either to write gratitude diaries for a 21-day period or to just fill in the assessments of mood, well-being, and health without actually having an intervention (control condition). Those in the gratitude condition also had their partners rate their mood and life satisfaction.Results showed that the gratitude group had more positive views of their life as a whole than control participants. They also reported a more positive mood and less negative mood on a daily basis during the study period. Their partners also reported that the gratitude participants had a more positive mood and greater satisfaction with life. With respect to health, the gratitude condition actually improved participants’ sleep — both amount and quality. Perhaps focusing on life’s blessings reduced the worry and angst that keep people awake at night.In summary, writing gratitude diaries seems to be beneficial no matter what. Just two or three weeks of filling out gratitude diaries each evening seems to improve mood, optimistic outlook, and life satisfaction, as well as making you more likely to help others. If you want to gain a health benefit from gratitude, you may need to persist with the diaries for two or three months. This practice takes only five or 10 minutes a day, but when done repetitively, reorients your mental compass towards focusing on the positive.How To Be More GratefulWhen I was researching for this, almost everything I read had a list something like "12 ways to become grateful". Just look at this Google search. It is now more clear to me than ever that writers don't care whether their readers actually implement the advice given: no one is going to pick one out of twelve and actually execute repetitively.So I told myself I wouldn't stop looking until I found the best way to become more grateful, and after using this method for a month I think I've found it.The five minute journal.Now, you don't have to purchase, you can do it all at home, but you should include all six features of the five-minute journal. The journal that Tim Ferris uses.This is my whole routine (includes gratitude practice).1. Inspiring QuotesYou can get inspiring quotes for free on Chrome, your Facebook timeline, or on your iPhone.2. Be GratefulQuality questions create a quality life. That's why I love questions like "What am I grateful for?". Write down, every day three things that you're grateful for. Then spend 2 minutes dwelling on these things, you see, you've gotta feel grateful not just logically grateful.This is a really important point so I'll elaborate a bit more. All that I've talked about, this whole "being grateful" thing is not a logical thing. You can't reason with your mind by saying "I'm better off that 99% of the world so I'm grateful" or "I have a nicer car than my brother so I'm grateful". You must feel grateful. I know this is weird, especially if you pride yourself on being a "logical man". But in this case, you've got to give that up and let yourself feel. So keep looking for things that you're grateful for until you feel it in your core.3. What Would Make Today Great?Now, I'm kind of going on a tangent away from Gratitude, but the five minute journal is such an incredible part of any morning routine that I'll just say exactly what I do every morning.Have you ever heard of the Reticular Activating System?It's the thing responsible for determining the lens through which you perceive reality.It's why anorexic people ignore all the evidence that says they're overweight and focus on the evidence that says they're overweight.When you ask yourself "What would make today great?" you are influencing your RAS to point out and engage in activities that will improve your wellbeing; you're building new pathways in your brain that allow you to "see" what you can do to improve your happiness every day.4. AffirmationUh oh, if I didn't scare you manly man away with the poem I've definitely scared you away now. Hear me out.Imagine for a moment you want to build more self-confidence.So, every day, you wake up and write down, “I’m confident and comfortable in my own skin.”On your way to work, you pass a beautiful stranger. Your eyes meet. They smile, flirtatiously. You return the favor.As you continue to about your day—and take note of more reference experiences that further your new belief—you comment to yourself, “Ah, this must be happening because I’m confident and comfortable in my own skin.”This isn’t fantasy; this is how you prime your brain to accept new beliefs.The Daily Affirmation is for this very purpose: to commit to writing the person you’re committed to becoming.Do this often enough, and in time, you become the very person you once wrote about.**5. (Evening) 3 Amazing Things Happened TodayThrough rigorous analysis of nearly 12,000 diary entries provided by 238 employees in 7 companies, Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer discovered a remarkable discovery:Employees who experienced consistently positive emotions, strong motivation and favorable perceptions of their organization were those who celebrated their small-wins.In their own words,"Our research inside companies revealed that the best way to motivate people, day in and day out, is by facilitating progress—even small wins."The best time to celebrate small-wins?In the evening before bed.A book recommendation from a friend. A beautiful walk in the park. The barista remembering how you like your cappuccino … there are countless small-wins in your life each day.Are you taking note of them?6. What Could I have done to make today better?Every evening, after putting his things in their place and enjoying a meal with friends, Benjamin Franklin would examine his day by asking an important question:“What good have I done today?”Similarly, in the Five-Minute Journal, you’re invited to ask yourself, “How could I have made today even better?”Here’s why:Let’s imagine, returning to the previous example of building more self-confidence, you wanted to approach the beautiful stranger you passed on your way to work, but couldn’t muster the courage.Maybe you didn’t know what to say. Or, you did, but your existing habit of shyness prevented you from doing so.In response to, “How could I have made today even better?”, you might write down, “I could have complimented them,” or, “I could have asked them their name.”Over time, completing exercises like the above shift how you look at obstacles and help you automatically take the action you actually want to take.FinTry this out - see the results. They only take a couple weeks to roll in.

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

1 note · View note

silver-spider-art · 6 years

Text

Borderlands Head Canons

Okay so I have horrible depression writer's block rn and have been replaying all the borderlands games while also daydreaming all the stories I want to tell with these characters. So I’m just going to write out my head canons for shits and giggles cuz I have a lot of thoughts.

Handsome Jack:

Jack is such a wild card. He’s an overgrown toddler and an impatient genius. Also sexy as hell and a problematic fave. I spend so much time playing the game sassing and back talking him (like he can fucking hear me) but I still adore him. And relistening to some of the dialog lines I’ve built up a variety of head canon and AU ideas for him.

So canon vs fanon is a little squishy in my head but Moxxi claims his face is plastic surgery and I’m taking that to be more than the mask. He’s definitely ADHD and neurodivergent. Plus a good helping of PTSD and paranoia thanks to Grandma and trauma from his ex-wives. Those are all his starting points but he breaks into 3 categories based on Angel. Bad Dad, Okay Dad, and Good Dad.

Bad Dad is canon and tips the point of no return for Jack’s mental instability when Angel brutally (but accidentally) murders his wife/her mom. Afraid of his own daughter and horribly betrayed and without “the one good force” in his life, he starts down the path of ultimate Sheakspearian self-destruction. All relationships end tragically and he’s his own greatest enemy. As far as the wife goes, I’m 100% that she is on a pedestal in his head and while he can think no ill of her, the relationship wasn’t all roses.

Okay Dad, in AUs this would be where however his wife died or was lost it didn’t result in his fearing Angel (I normally leave this idea for modern!AUs without Siren powers). He is still overprotective and “doing it for your own good” but without the torture or horrific manipulation. Because of this, while Angel might still resent or hate him, he still has something to live for and is capable of somewhat decent relationships. Still, he rather sucks at it and more often than not is self-destructive. (my fave for writing and reading)

Good Dad, this is a strange and mysterious creature that is nearly unheard of. So often this feels so out of place. So much would have to change to create a catalyst in his life for him to turn out healthy. I mostly see this as a redemption arch thing. Where he might be able to turn it around and make amends given the right people around him.

The other thing I’ve been growing ever found of is trans!jack. He wears a ridiculous number of layers of clothing which is definitely hiding his soft gut, but I’m very fond of the idea that much of his bragging and defensiveness is overcompensation for his fear and trauma both from childhood abuse and gender. There is quite a bit in game dialog on the Jack vs John thing. For the trans!jack I’m actually loving the idea that when he came out and remade his life, he chose John and was hired in at Hyperion with them only knowing him as John. But as he got more comfortable with his new life (and Tassiter made him start hating his new name) he wanted to reclaim his birth name. That he’s always gone by the nickname Jack (born Jacqueline) and was now confident enough in presenting male (and helped by Nisha) that he would even let friends call him Jackie without feeling less masculine. (super self-indulgent reasonings for this)

Other random head canons, Jack is polysexual and pansexual. He prefers women romantically but usually has longer last relationships with men yet rarely thinks of them in the same light. He’s mostly into women powerful enough to crush him and while he is aggressive and into being on top, he’d make a shit dom. He’s impatient and easily losses himself to pleasure. He is, however, a very good sub but it takes a huge amount of trust for him to allow that. (this is also why he is so angry at his attraction to Rhys. Rhys is a soft nerd who can’t even fire a gun, the exact opposite of Jack’s type and he falls for him anyway.) Jack’s vanity knows no bound and he spends way too much time of his look every morning to look perfectly disheveled and like he doesn’t care. Also extremely attached to his favorite things with huge possessiveness (partially caused by aforementioned childhood trauma). Jack actually likes cats but hates being around then cuz old childhood pain. Jack is also complete and utter crap at taking about his feelings or opening up to people.

Timothy Lawrence:

So for dear Tim, my beloved favorite, I have 2 main categories, canon doppelganger or au brother.

Doppelganger: needing money he took a job as Jack’s body double and had plastic surgery to look like Jack. Depending on Jack (Bad/Okay/Good) his relationship turns out drastically different.

Bad ending poor Tim gets branded and has to fell his possessive and deranged boss and spends his life masked on Pandora as a mercenary. Always hiding his face for fear of those who want revenge on the man whose face he wears.

Okay fate, he and Jack are lovers. They fight a lot and Tim’s most often catchphrase is “damn it, Jack” but in the end, Jack is his asshole. Their relationship is polyamorous and stable. But Tim is often in the shadows and overlooked, partially by choice.

Good end? This is so rare I have no idea.

Twin/Brother: having grown up together they get Jack’s asshole and abusing Grandmother and Tim’s “laughs at your death” mother. Having one family member and someone he can always fall back on to help him and someone to be a hero for, Jack never goes full Bad ending. Despite all their fighting and issues, they balance each other out. Always falls in the Okay category of Jack’s relationship to Angel.

But I’ve been working out the redemption arch to lead to a Good Dad ending. Jack actually being self-sacrificing for once and giving up something he wants for his brother's happiness. One idea is that both he and Tim are both pursuing Rhys but after some inciting incidents, Jack comes to realize that his family and friends are happier with Rhys in their lives and Jack knows that he’ll just ruin it like he’d started to do. I can see this beautiful scene of Jack seeing Tim and Rhys talk at a party and seeing Angel come up to join them. His heart aches because he wants that to be himself in Tim’s place but knows it would never happen. That in the end, he’s poison. So he chooses to give up. To let that peaceful scene be reality. That he can accept his claim on Rhys just being as family and not as lover. And that moment of clarity and change of focus helps get him on the path to repairing his relationship with Angel and his brother. Never a smooth ride and he fails a lot, but it does get better.

But back to Tim.

Tim/Rhys is life. I love these two together like nothing else. Jack/Tim and Jack/Rhys is always unstable and huge potential for unhealthy. But Tim/Rhys is heaven and precious and good.

Tim loves cats and sweaters. He wants to write an epic fantasy story but has no faith in his abilities. He’s anxious and terrified of heights but he will be it anyway even while white with fear. He has a huge cybernetic kink he doesn’t want to admit to. Tim dated Wilhelm until the end and still deeply cares for the huge quiet man. While Tim dislikes blood and guts, he found he was actually really good and fighting. After he started the body double gig he got swoll and has stayed in shape since (his own vanity showing). He’s covered in freckles and tans dark in the sun. His voice can be very awkward and scratchy but confidence and vocal training helps that in the non-canon or modern!au settings. Tim is a much better fighter than Jack and can handle any weapon thrown into his hands (I mean just look at his skill tree in game) but he always holds himself back outside of combat and thinks of himself as weak. Despite his skill, he lacks confidence and in the bad endings always believes Jack is actually stronger than him.

Rhys:

My boy. Rhys is trans and autistic. He works very hard to make sure it doesn’t show. He volunteered to get the eye and experimental echo port in order to help compensate for his mental limitations and further enhance his positive skills. His cybernetic arm was also technically voluntary and for badass points he always claims so, but he wasn’t giving up a “perfectly good arm” but a barely functioning arm that always caused him chronic pain due to a poorly healed childhood injury. He stared in Data Mining and while he refused to act in violence to advance, Rhys has very gray morals and had done plenty of shady things to advance in Hyperion. He never had a problem with killing in the vague sense, just not wanting to get his hands dirty directly. This does change slowly, but he still hates guns. They are just very hard for him. When he must fight, melee is the way he goes. Rhys got his chest tattoos after his top surgery to disguise the scars. like his flashy cybernetics, his main goals are “if I have to stand out I want them looking at me because I’m too pretty to look away from”. He tries to fake it till he makes it with confidence even when he has no idea what’s happening.

He always looks everything up on the EchoNet and panics when his connection to it is cut off. It’s his safety net/blanket in many ways. The more the situation is out of control and not following his plan, the more his anxieties act up and leave him vulnerable. This is how Jack easily manipulates him when everything is going to hell. He needs more time to think through things then the chaos of Pandora allowed. Once he’s used to the wasteland and it’s people, this is less of an issue. (Hyperion Rhys vs Atlas Rhys)

His special interests are colorful socks, Handsome Jack (he regrets that deeply after meeting the man), and his new interest is A.I.s. Though Rhys is very into his cybernetics and has moded them some, he can’t build them. His skills are haking, programming, and coding. His old goals where to get a job in digital security or programming once he could get out of data mining. Now as Atlas CEO his pet project has been building and refining A.I.

Random: Rhys is bisexual and leans a bit poly. He is sex positive but doesn’t have to have it in a relationship. He will follow along with most all his partner's kinks as it’s most important for him that they are having fun together. Soft fluff and cuddles are what he lives for though. (everything about this is super self-indulgent)

Angel:

Angel is autistic. It puts her in an especially dangerous/vulnerable position with her powers and Bad Dad Jack doesn’t know what to do with her without his wife to help. He loves his baby girl dearly, but he’s lost and doesn’t know how to help her. In the end, he uses her to fuel his own obsessions and the veneer of childhood is stripped from her eyes as resentment sets in. She lost her father long ago and now only wants release. Like Tim, she could have tried to kill him herself, but while she can and does betray him, he’s still her father in the end.

Okay Dad Jack, (mostly modern!aus) struggles with how to raise Angel but genuinely tries his best. His second marriage was entirely to have a mom for her, knowing he was a shit parent. That wasn’t a good marriage and Angel still didn’t get a mom out of it. Angel goes up angry and resentful of her dad and often refuses to call him anything but Jack. She’s angry that he still treats her like a child. She can’t live on her own and needs assistance in common tasks due to her limitations, but can’t stand being treated childishly like his always buying her unicorn themed things and his insistence on not swearing. She struggles to understand that Jack needs these things for himself too and they both just suck at communicating to each other. They circle around each other, in a strange dance, more like roommates than family. Angel works for Jack as his security expert and hacker/spy. She was instrumental in him taking over Hyperion.

Good Dad... like beforementioned, this is hardly a thing. The good times are mostly in her early youth.

Angel is a lesbian and in okay or good settings falls for Gaige. Jack is very not okay with his daughter dating an openly Anarchist Anti-Cooperate Terrorist who has built death machines. They met online and spend nearly every night having hour long conversations. Gaige makes her feel more normal and nonbroken than anything else in her life ever has.

Random:

Tiny Tina is trans. I read this in a fic and it’s just canon now.

Zer0 is a nonbinary cyborg. They have had most of their body replaced and generally don’t want to be human, so they took matters into hand to make that happen. They feel kinship for Rhys because of this and are growing fond of the awkward man and proud of his bravery foolishness for going into battle despite having no skill. Zer0 and Tim fight well side by side but they do NOT get along outside of combat.

Nisha is aromantic and pansexual and only doms. Her whip very much is used in the bedroom. She and Jack are always off again on again.

Maya is aro/ace and a total badass.

Sasha and Rhys date for a while but end it mutually finding they fit better as friends than lovers.

Gaige helps Rhys make his new cybernetics and he has to argue with her to not install more than one weapon in the new arm or lasers in his eye.

Wilhelm was always going to die of Bone Waste and the surgeries and cybernetics were just delaying the inevitable. Jack set him up to die, but it was willingly on Wil’s part because he didn’t want to die in a hospital but in a huge and epic fight that would be the stuff of legends.

Vaughn is aromantic and sex nonpulsed and he and Rhys are platonic bros for life. Rhys is 100% okay with this and anyone else in his life has to accept his deep love for his bro.

(I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot, but this is long enough for now, oops)

#borderlands #tales from the borderlands #borderlands head canon #handsome jack #timothy lawrence #rhys the company man #random ramblings #My writing #long post

4 notes · View notes

viktuurificwriters · 7 years

Text

Preciousbunnynoiz: Never Giving Up

AO3 Profile

Tumblr

Writing is difficult. It takes hours of careful planning to create a well-structured outline for a story. It takes hours more to write down the actual story and it takes probably even days when it comes to editing the final draft.

One of the reasons why many writers stop writing is because it’s tiring and it takes a lot from their time. Sometimes it will get them asking if it’s all worth it, especially when they don’t get much feedback after posting their work.

But here comes Preciousbunnynoiz ( @ineffectualdemon ), a writer who currently has 68 works published for the Yuri on Ice fandom alone. How on earth did they manage to do that… despite having Fibromyalgia?

Fibromyalgia is a long-term chronic disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues (source). If writing is already tiring for most of us, imagine how much more difficult and exhausting it must be for Bunny-san.

“It makes it hard to write because my hands hurt too much sometimes,” explains Bunny-san. “Often it interferes cognitively, making it hard for me to write or even speak my thoughts clearly.”

In order to compensate for all the times they can’t write, Bunny-san keeps a bundle of notes in their phone labeled as “Fic Ideas.” They save them for times when they’ll have more energy to work on them.

And despite their condition that often keeps them from writing, they are amazingly persevering. Sometimes, they even post two-three stories/chapters in one day. A noteworthy accomplishment!

If you don’t have time to read those 20K+ long multi-chaptered fics but still want your daily dose of YoI fanfics, then I recommend you check out Preciousbunnynoiz’s works. Bunny-san’s stories range within 100-6000 words only and they are mostly tagged under “Fluff” and “Silly,” making them the go-to for a quick read while on a bus to work or during free periods at school.

Know more about Preciousbunnynoiz under the cut.

Preciousbunnynoiz is a 33-year old American Citizen who is currently an expatriate living in the United Kingdom.

They write about a variety of themes for their fics and their ideas are often inspired by music. They once wrote a Mila/Sara fic because of a song and the idea for it dropped into their head already complete. As for the more angsty fics, they draw ideas from their own personal struggles.

“I find fanfic is a good way to work out my own problems,” shares Bunny-san. “The fluff though is just mostly I think of something that makes me laugh and let that drive me.”

And most of their stories really are hilarious. I personally enjoyed their OH NO THEY DID NOT, a fic about Yuuri getting angry with the press for suggesting that Viktor is cheating on him. It’s a one-shot with only 903 words and is part 2 of the No One Disrespects the Skating Family series. The way that Bunny-san portrays Yuuri in the fic is really different to how he’s usually represented (anxious and timid). In OH NO THEY DID NOT, it is quite refreshing, in some way, to read about a protective Katsuki Yuuri who is assertive enough to yell at whoever accuses Viktor for something he doesn’t do.

Bunny-san normally writes her stories straight from beginning to end in one to two sittings. They say they can't really be distracted from writing, but if they do, they walk away entirely and come back the next day. They usually write, read through the draft several times to edit and then post it immediately. They can’t write in piecemeal so they have finish the first draft straight through.

They only have a few unfinished fics and they are currently working on one big fic that’s a lot more serious than their usual stories. And so, they are building a playlist that “follows the plot.”

“I also have a Yuri on Ice playlist, a Victor Nikiforov Playlist and a Yuuri Katsuki playlist on my phone to help me write,” they say. Listening to certain songs helps them get into the mindset of the characters or the world of the story.

Viktor songs have a lot of “bubblegum pop,” as they call it, like Call me Maybe, Say you won’t Let Go, and What Makes you Beautiful. Yuuri songs, on the other hand, has more angst like Chandelier, Weight of Living, and The Greatest. He also has some upbeat songs like Breathless by Corrs and Strong by One Direction. And then there’s the joint playlist that has Kesha's Die Young, which, according to Bunny-san, is SO the soundtrack from the Sochi Banquet.

Bunny-san is also the kind of writer who tries to be more original with their stories. They consider their self as their first audience. Before writing, they would ask their self if it would make them happy and if it’s a story they want. If the answer is no, then they won’t write it.

“Don't get me wrong, it thrills me when my audience likes my stories and sometimes they give me ideas that inspire me. But if it's not a story I want to tell, then I won't write it,” they share. “That's why, although my fluff and happy fics are my most popular, I still write my more serious fics. They aren't as popular but I think they're important for my own self, and while I get less traffic on them the comments show they matter to at least one other person.”

Bunny-san considers to have exceeded their own expectations when their fic made at least one other person smile, laugh, cry or think. And I guess that’s the secret to how they have written over sixty fics for this fandom. They don’t pressure their self to be popular and they are easily contented with the little things.

Aside from the general fluff and silliness of most of their stories, Bunny-san also has works written under the “Emotional Hurt/Comfort” tag, if you prefer something a little serious but that’s not too heavy to read.

One of their works that belong under this tag is A Little Bit Surprised, a story about how Viktor realizes that he gets into little space whenever he’s around Yuuri. Little space is a mindset in which an adult acts like a child around someone they trust, often engaging in activities that they were not able to achieve during their adolescence (source). The definition may slightly vary to the different people who experience it, but in Bunny-san’s story, they base it on their own personal experience in dropping in and out of little space for years.

A Little Bit Surprised has only 1, 590 words but it’s fairly heartwarming. I love how Yuuri is very accepting of Viktor going into little space and is willing to do whatever his fiancé needs him to do even if it can be uncomfortable for him. It shows how nothing will ever change with their love even when one of them changes.

Writing may be physically exhausting for Bunny-san, but emotionally, it energizes them. They say it connects them to a community and it stops them from feeling lonely.

Bunny-san has an eight-year old child and is a stay at home parent. They used to work before but because of their condition they had to quit. They spend most of their time asleep because they get tired all the time. They also can't really help out around the house because of the pain and they find it depressing and isolating. Luckily, they are able to get by because their husband and child are very loving.

“I only got into fanfiction last year and I wish I had gotten into it years before because it makes me so happy!” they say with enthusiasm. “It feeds into my writing as well, making me feel happy and excited to share my idea or headcanon with the rest of the fandom!”

Although currently taking a break from school, Bunny-san hasn’t quit as she tries to recover mentally and physically. They go to school with the Open University, UK’s largest academic institution, which is a distance learning university. Distance learning is a method of studying in which lectures are broadcasted over the internet and does not require the student to be physically present in school.

Bunny-san aims to get their BA in History which is something they’ve always wanted to do.

Perseverance is definitely Bunny-san’s virtue–to always keep going no matter how hard. If someone like them can write stories, then how much more a person who doesn’t have to worry about their health?

Bunny-san advises aspiring writers to write stories they want to read and to not worry about writing the “right” kind of fiction. They used to waste a lot of time trying to write a lot of serious fiction or big fantasy stories until they realized their wheelhouse: writing silly, fluffy, romantic nonsense which people also enjoy. And knowing that made their life so much happier.

“I still write more serious stuff but accepting my strengths was a good thing,” they say. “So yes, write the stories you want to read and write what you enjoy writing.”

#featured #preciousbunnynoiz #yuri on ice fanfiction writers #yuri on ice #viktuuri #victuuri #viktuuri fanfiction writers #yuri on ice fanfiction #interviewed writers #writers #ao3 writer #fluff writer #silly writer #one shots writer #interviewed writer #one shot writer

26 notes · View notes