#and two 3-0s this week

[readyfreddy]

Ok a question: is the bad grade because you're missing so many assignments that the 0s are stacking up, or is it because of a series of poor grades?

Because for the first one, ask for an incomplete and give them a TIMELINE on which you will complete the work over eg summer (like 1 assignment a week or sth, nothing super intense just to prove that you're actually going to do it) and maybe also offer to meet with them regularly/send them email updates regularly while you're working on their work (again to prove you won't ghost them and will actually finish the class).

The second one, you could try to ask them to bend the syllabus for you. Definitely tell them how much they mean to you as a prof and how much you like their class, but also just express the difficulty you've been having honestly (tbh just like the first two lines in quotes in your post) and maybe see if they will let you maybe do something to your grade advantage, like take a final essay grade or final exam grade in place of your average if it's higher.

I don't know what your relationship with them is or your other needs, but you could also ask to retake the class with lower demand (like attending lectures you feel you need to and not the ones you don't need over again) or ask for maybe an independent study class to help with their research or something to help raise your overall GPA if the course grade doesn't matter as much in the grand scheme.

Sorry for the rambling in your inbox 😅 I live surrounded by academics so it's kind of the stuff I hear about all the time and this seemed less wierd then DMing idk? Uh I hope this helps and isn't like intensely overstepping 😅

All good and I genuinely appreciate your imput <3 Inbox or DM work equally as well for me :)

I've handed everything in on time but have a series of 50's and below :( , and I don't really have a relationship with him beyond discussion my academic accommodations. I'm aiming for pharmacy school, but at that becomes less of a reality every single day (or at least what it feels like). I have other options that I'd be happy with, but as of right now, pharmacy school is a big goal of mine.

I ended up sending him an email, that he'll likely see Monday morning, my email (w/o identifying features) is below the cut:

I have enjoyed your class thoroughly and have learnt a lot. Despite what it looks like on paper, I am trying my best and working hard to succeed in this course. 

This term has been incredibly difficult for me as I have been balancing two jobs,  handful of extracurriculars, as well as dealing with an out of province parent who is becoming increasingly disabled as time progresses and doing extensive research regarding their condition. It is hard to ignore that there is a lot going on in my life and I am trying to keep a lot of different areas of my life in control, even if those matters are completely beyond my control. 

As a result, this has taken a major toll on my mental health. What I was once able to successfully manage has now become near debilitating. I have used some of the on-campus resources, and they have made a noticeable difference. One of my lab instructors has already expressed concern regarding my mental health and have taken some small actions to help me.

I’ve been able to go to all your classes; however, I have found it hard to focus and retain information, even if I am taking notes and engaging in classroom discussion. 

I know that it is very late in the term, and there is very little that can be done while still maintaining fairness to all students. If there is anything that can be done, please let me know at your earliest convenience. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend your office hours this upcoming Monday,  I am aiming to be there around 9:30 on Wednesday. If these times do not work for you, please let me know and we can discuss a time that works best for both of us.

#asks #thank you so much <3 #academia #sigh... it's been a year and we're about a quarter through it #I hate pulling out the personal shit and mental health card but it's acceptable in this case

[worldtourtraveller]

Week 4-logistic regression model

Import the required libraries: We start by importing the required libraries

Important Inferences from above analyses:

There is imbalance in Converted variable: 38.45% leads are converted and 61.55% leads are not.

Landing Page Submission forms the main lead origin channel.

Most leads are sourced through Google Ads.

Maximum leads get converted through the Lead Add Form.

Maximum leads who got converted are working professionals.

4. Data Preparation: Many variables are binary response variables (yes/no). We convert the yes/no variables to 0/1 and create dummy variables (one-hot encoded) for remaining categorical variables.

5. Building Logistic Regression Model: Initially we built the model with all the variables and found that there are many variables are insignificant (have high p-value). We need to reduce the number of variables.

We use RFE method, to coarse tune the independent variables from 50 to 20. Using statsmodels.api, we build the logistic regression model and check the statistics. By considering p-value and VIF scores, insignificant variables are dropped one by one.

We know that the logistic regression model outputs probabilities (values between 0 to 1). In order to make predictions on train data (y_train_pred), we need to convert these probabilities to 1s and 0s. For this we need to decide a threshold probability value above which all the probability values will be classified as 1 and the values below it will be classified as 0. For that, we need to plot the ROC (Receiver Operating Characteristic) curve.

AUC stands for Area Under Curve. That is, AUC measures the entire two-dimensional area underneath the entire ROC curve. ROC Curve demonstrates :

The trade-off between TPR or sensitivity and (1-FPR) or specificity (any increase in sensitivity will be accompanied by a decrease in specificity).

The closer the curve follows the left-hand border and then the top border of the ROC space, the more accurate the test.

The closer the curve comes to the 45-degree diagonal of the ROC space, the less accurate the test.

The point where the three curves meet is decided to be the cut-off or threshold point. At this point we get comparable values of sensitivity, specificity and accuracy. We can see that all the 3 curves coincide at a point at about 0.38. Hence we choose the cut-off value of 0.38. Hence all the probability values above 0.38, will be classified as 1 and below 0.38 will be classified as 0.

Accuracy: It is the number of values that are accurately predicted by the model (positive or negative). Accuracy = TP+TN/ (TP+TN+FP+FN). The accuracy of our model comes out to be 0.8099 or 80.99%.

Sensitivity: It is the number of True Positives correctly predicted w.r.t. total number of positives. Also called TPR. Sensitivity = TP/ (TP+FN). The sensitivity of our model comes out to be 0.8047 or 80.47%. This is actually a good sensitivity figure since here we are interested in prediction of the leads which are highly likely to be converted.

Specificity: It is the number of True Negatives correctly predicted w.r.t. total number of negatives. Also expressed as (1-FPR). TN / (TN+FP). The specificity of our model comes out to be 0.8132 or 81.32%.

Precision: Probability that a predicted 1 is actually a 1. That is how actual converted values are classified as converted. Precision = TP / (TP + FP). The Precision of our model comes out to be 0.726 or 72.6%.

Recall: It is same as Sensitivity.

Here also we can see that the cut-off lies very close to 0.4.

6. Making Predictions on Test Set: We prepare the test data according to the train data by dropping necessary columns and we transform the test data using the scaler previously created.

We make the predictions on test data (y_test_pred) and get the predicted probability values. Then we convert these values to 0s and 1s using the cut-off 0.38. The company can change the cut-off value as per requirement to get desired results.

We can see that all the parameters for train and test data are close. That means the model performance is good.

Conclusion: We saw how machine learning can help the ed-tech company, to identify the promising leads. The company can nurture only the most promising leads, thereby making the lead conversion process more efficient.

[goboymusic]

It’s Saturday, a.k.a. #HouseOfTheDragon Eve. I’ll post finale predictions tomorrow morning. As a fan of George R. R. Martin’s writing (@GRRMspeaking on twitter), the amount of interviews and public appearances he does is exciting. There are dozens of hours of him going into detail about his characters, stories, writing methods, etc. on YouTube. Also, his blog is fun: https://georgerrmartin.com/notablog/

A follow up on the private investigator issue in post 100: I freaking found them. Facebook filtered searches for the win.

Regarding Die… the melody at 39s is dangerously similar to a popular melody from the 1960s. Didn’t realize it until the song was almost complete. It’s not an exact match, so I left it, but it’s close enough that it might need to be changed someday.

That’ll happen from time to time. Melody ideas arise, and sometimes they end up being pre-existing melodies used by another artist. Thanks brain.

This was a sober recording session.

The intro section from 0s - 35s wasn’t part of the original songwriting. It was added during the later stages of production for variety. Initially, that section was midway through the song, not the start. Believing it was the most interesting segment, it was moved to the beginning.

One of the four original vocal melodies didn’t work, so it was removed.

Like “Blah,” this song had a smooth production process. Timeline… 1) Picked four melodies from GoBoy’s Dropbox folder of melodies (video recordings of humming / whistling melodies). 2) Spent an hour structuring those melodies into a song in Logic Pro. 3) Spent an hour writing lyrics. 4) Spent a few hours recording vocals. 5) Spent about eleven days mixing vocals (full-time job leaves me with little time to mix). 6) Spent two days developing instruments that meshed with the vocals. 7) Spent two days tweaking EQ and levels. 8) Uploaded “Die” to the internet.

This song is about dying and partying with a bunch of happy ghosts.

Songs 102 - 117 (total of 16 songs) were produced simultaneously, resulting in an eight-month gap in releases. Melodies, chord structures and lyrics were written for all 16 songs before recording any of them. During the recording phase, one-week intervals took place between recording sessions to let vocal cords recover. The raspy, punk style sounds cool, but it destroys your voice after a few hours. During those intervals, all free time was spent splicing and aligning each syllable to the tempo, and pitch correction was applied where it was needed (everyone uses pitch correction in the studio, even Beyoncé, shut up) (this paragraph contains excerpts from post 102).

#GoBoy #Die #107

[leagueofleaguesff]

League Of Leagues Week 1 Recap

Here are the standings after week 1 in each league:

Stranger Things Have Happened

(Yahoo Cash League)

Commish - Jermaine Williams

Week 1 Standings in Yahoo

Team Zero Luck had just that...0 luck. They had the lowest score of the week out of any team

Happy Ending barely beat Zero Luck and these two teams had the lowest scoring bout

Papakess had the biggest beatdown with the widest margin win against Oliver

Oliver got beat so bad but avoided last place ... that distinction went to Zero Luck

The NEXT closest contest was between Taurean & Johnny with T gaining the last minute win with Russell on his roster

The NEXT widest margin win was between Jermaine and Delmar with Delmar the victor

Both ladies won thier perspective matchups against Slick and Demetri

N.erdy F.ootball L.eague

(ESPN 💍Ring Bling League)

Commish - Johnny Williams

Week 1 Standings in ESPN

Just like the Matrix, the standings reflect a bunch of 1-0 or 0-1 records. The Matrix is full of 1s and 0s itself.

Taurean won last year finally getting the monkey off his back. Unfortunately he will need to bounce back from a loss in the first week

Jermaine received his ring at the draft looking to add on to his collection. He will have to do better next week as he suffered a loss week 1

Peter won 3 damn rings. He flashed a pic before the draft. Part of the ring bearing ceremony, Peters dominance in this league is yet again tested. Proof in the loss he had this week

Johnny the league commish had won multiple rings in the early days of fantasy. But due to unfortunate circumstances he lost the data on which years he won. As a new slate going forward from 2014, he refuses to bestow a ring for himself until he can win again...on record. Too bad his record is 0-1 to start the season

Ricky vowed to bring all his cunning moves at the draft. He is determined to win the ring after seeing his fellow league mates stuntin on him. He'll have to do better than what he did this week in a loss in hopes to join the ring bearers

Delamar gained a win this first week and in 5th place looks to build on that victory

Laura made the top 4. She was the 4th person to flash the 💍 (not the wedding one lol) also from a previous year

Oliver won the ring last season. He sits good in 3rd with his win. Once his trophy from the ILL FL is ready, I will don him the bling with the bling

Matt was the 1st ring bearer but fell just short of being in first in the league with his win. Will he dominate yet again?

Carla takes top honors for first place with her win. Will she be next to garner a ring. For her it may be 💍 season!

NFL SMACKDOWN

Sleeper League (Gift Card of Choice)

Commish - Laura Williams

Congratulations 👏 to Laura the commish for taking the #1 spot in the rankings. Matt and Johnny round out the top 3 spots. While Carla and Taurean got in the win column this week, Jermaine, Slick, Delmar , Juan, and Oliver suffered loses week 1.

The app is good at recaps so will post the Sleeper notes here

Like wrestlers coming out for thier entrance, we all getting ready to brawl in our fantasy leagues.

ILL FL

NFL League That Started It All

Commish - Taurean Wong

Week 1 Standings in NFL

Demetri gained a whole bunch of hardware at the draft. He is in 1st looking to regain his precious gold. Oliver has his sights on winning back to back. He is in 2nd place above Slick he garnered 3rd. Ricky is savy and usually in the mix. Laura and Jermaine rounded out the other winners for week restin in the top half. Professor changed his name but not his luck. Although he is in 6th for a wildcard it is a long season ahead. Carla Johnny Taurean and Matt are the losers of week one. Feeling ILL but not in a good way.

[cieuxnoirs]

i knew 1121 by halsey was a date but before she said it was the 21st or November, I thought it was the first of January 2021

#my brain didn’t put two and two together (still don’t understand Americans writing dates) #like they could be writing dates like 06/21 and I’d understand bc there aren’t 21 months (also they don’t put 0s) #but stuff like 7/9 like??? be more specific #it’s not hard just don’t know if Americans write normal or americanised dates that’s it #that’s it for my rant about dates #also I was like???? she found out about her pregnancy on the first of jan and announced it on Instagram 3 weeks later #that should have rand a bell

[sim-lush]

Simlush’s All Packs Save File

This is a save file that I’ve been working on since October 2020, it is a CC free save file that’s made using all the packs installed.

If you want to download this save file and don’t have the packs, it’s still possible but you’ll lose some items from the packs you don’t own.

I will be making more save files in the future, I’m planning to make one save file for each pack, but for a few weeks or months I might need a little break from making contents on YouTube and also making save files, I’ll update as soon as I’m back 😊

Now, let’s talk about this save file.

All the worlds have been either entirely re-build or renovated, all the townies, NPCs and new sims are based on my make overs and preference of style, but I did not change skin tones, face and body shape, eye color or hair color when giving the townies a makeover, I hope you like them 😊

All the worlds are pets, child and toddler friendly except for some particular places like bars or lounges.

I left some of the lots being empty without any building in it because I think you might want to build something, too. You are free to bulldoze, renovate or do anything with the builds that came with the save file though.

Most of the sims in this save file have skills and jobs, I try to make the worlds seems more… you know normal and livable.

You can delete all the families I have created or changing the world based on what you prefer.

In total there are:

69 Builds Renovated

163 New Builds

116 Families (65 are new)

In total there are 364 Sims in the save file including “currently not in world” Sims.

Willow Creek

3 Starter Houses

16 New Builds

1 Renovated Build

8 Families (4 are new)

Community Lots: 

Lounge

Library

Museum

Gym

National Park

I try to make Willow Creek like a serene town filled with suburban houses.

All Community Lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

There are 3 starter houses (under 20k) that are perfect for family.

Oasis Spring

2 Starter Houses

14 New Builds

3 Renovated Builds

6 Families (2 are new)

Community Lots:

Restaurant

Lounge

Gym

Bar

National Park

The world has modern mid-century and Mediterranean houses.

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

There are two starter houses (under 20k).

Newcrest

15 New Builds

10 Families

Community Lots:

Spa

Restaurant

Library

Museum

National Park

The world has modern builds with some eco vibes.

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

Magnolia Promenade

2 Renovated Builds

2 New Builds

1 Family (New)

Community Lots:

3 Retails

The world is build based on older days kind of world where the building is using classic style.

I build an apartment in this world so I can put a retail employer there and play them as if they work in the nearby retails.

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

Windenburg

7 Renovated Builds

16 New Builds

14 Families (7 are new)

Community Lots:

3 Café

Library

Bar

Lounge

Nightclub

Retail

National Park

Swimming Pool

I try to keep many styles of buildings in Windenburg since this world have so many lots. There are country cottages, Modern wooden houses and some classical houses, too.

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

San Myshuno

1 Starter Apartment

4 Renovated Builds

24 New Builds

21 Families (13 are new)

Community Lots:

Retail

Karaoke Bar

Gym

Lounge

Arts Center

Center Park

Because I always dream to go to New York, the San Myshuno from this save file is build based on New York, well the kind of New York I’ve seen only from movies lol

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

Forgotten Hollow

1 Starter House

2 Renovated Builds

3 New Builds

3 Families (1 is new)

I do try to make Forgotten Hollow less dark and weird, but yup, it is still kind of dark and less dark lol

Brindleton Bay

1 Starter Apartment

3 Renovated Builds

13 New Builds

7 Families (4 are new)

Community Lots:

2 Restaurants

Bar

Museum

2 Vet Clinic

Park

This world has many country farmhouse style kinds of houses and community lots, very cozy and warm vibes.

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

Del Sol Valley

1 Renovated Builds

9 New Builds

5 Families (2 are new)

Community Lots:

National Park

Karaoke Bar

Retail

Museum

Lounge

Del Sol Valley that I try to build is highly inspired by LA and very summer-y in vibes.

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

StrangerVille

1 Starter House

7 Renovated Builds

4 New Builds

5 Families (1 is new)

Community Lots:

National Park

Restaurant

Bar

Library

Vey Victorian looking but with many colors in it, I try to make it more fun looking and livable.

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

Sulani

1 Starter House

4 Renovated Builds

10 New Builds

10 Families (6 are new)

Community Lots:

Bar

2 Beaches

This Sulani is inspired by Bali Island and I try to keep as many colors as I think will still make a good aesthetic to keep Sulani having the summer and happy vibe.

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

Glimmerbrook

2 Renovated Builds

2 New Builds

5 Families (1 are new)

Community Lots:

Library

My favorite world of all worlds, I try to keep the quirky-ness of Glimmerbrook as the main aesthetic of the world, but there and there I combine some antique and bohemian style around the world.

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

Britechester

All Builds are Renovated Builds

6 Families (2 are new)

Community Lots:

Library

Bar

I think Britechester is the world that already have cool builds, so I just renovate here and there trying to make it more normal and less “The Sims” in general lol

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

Evergreen Harbor

2 Starter Houses

2 Renovated Builds

22 New Builds (Including each     and all Community Spaces)

9 Families (6 are new)

Community Lots:

Community Spaces

Bar

The Evergreen Harbor of this save file is neutral but most of the lot are already Green, all the community spaces including the other 3 variables that only change when sims vote for it are all already re-build. I aim to create a green world when building in Evergreen Harbor.

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

Mt. Komorebi

7 Renovated Builds

7 New Builds

7 Families (4 are new)

Community Lots:

Lounge

Park

Onsen Bathhouse

Bar

3 Rentals

I try to keep Mt. Komorebi with its very strong Asian vibes, but I did add some other style around the buildings to bring more richness to the world.

All community lots are pets, child and toddler friendly.

VACATION WORLDS

Granite Falls

2 Renovated Builds

4 New Builds

Child and Toddler Friendly.

Selvadorada

5 Renovated Builds

2 New Builds

Bar

Museum

National Park

Child and Toddler Friendly.

Batuu

Honestly, I did nothing to Batuu because I just don’t know what to do with it actually.

How to Install These Worlds?

Make a backup of your save     files in a folder on your desktop

Download the save file

Put the save file into this     path Documents/Electronic Arts/The Sims 4/Saves

Start your game and enjoy the     save file!

Important Notes:

I renamed the file in hope it     won’t conflict your save files but if you do happen to have the same name     you can change the last 2 numbers from the save file but leave the 0s be.

Always make a backup of your     save files before putting this save.

It's the first release so if     you do happen to have some problems with the save file, let me know and I     will try to fix it.

You can do anything with the     save file, changing lots, bulldozing things, deleting sims or families.

Download from Patreon (no ads & free)

ENJOY!

#The Sims 4 #Sims 4 #TS4 #The Sims 4 Save #The Sims 4 Save File #Save File

[potahun]

“Wo Men De Ge” Archery competition /translation

Translation of some of the archery bits in this special edition of Ep.11 of Season 1, because it was hilarious at the time and this week’s episode in S2 made me a nostalgic bastard on main again. Starts from approx. 1:52 onwards and ends around 14:39.

MC Lin Hai welcomes Na Ying back, who makes her entrance by singing a song from Fei Yuqing. Lin Hai notes that Ayanga isn’t there yet (he was on the plane), so he would pair up with Fei Yuqing in Ayanga’s stead. 

The order of performance in the Episode is to be decided via one round of archery and one round of draws.

MC: So let’s do it like this. The youngest ones here are our Shen Shen and our Yi Qiao. Therefore, you two have the right to decide. You can pick your opponents. 

ZS: I’ve already decided about my opponent. I believe everyone here knows the theory of Tian Ji’s strategy for horse-racing. The weakest *designates himself* should pick the strongest....teacher Hua Jian.

ZHJ: !! *sings while shaking ZS’s hand* You look deeply at me~

ZS: *sings in the same tune* Last time you overtook me by a whole lap~ (at kart racing)

MC (to ZS): So your picking teacher Hua Jian today, is it for revenge?

ZS: I’m....helping everyone to get rid of the strongest first. *laughs*

ZHJ: He fell for it.

MC: Then, Yi Qiao, he took your master away. What about you?

YQ: I think...how about teacher Keqin? 

LKQ: *waves hi*

YQ: I think he’s pretty strong too, so I want to have a match.

LKQ: I’m good at a lot of sports....except archery.

MC: Then, the next one will be interesting: Xiao Zhan. You pick. Do you want to go against me or Xiao Ge? Your pick.

XZ: Then I’ll pick....Teacher Fei. (FYQ: Ey. Alright.)

NY (to XZ): Yes. Elder brother (Fei Yuqing), he’s got hyperopia.  (FYQ: Aayy *laughs* XZ: !!!!!!!!) He won’t be able to do it. It’ll all be blurry -- he’ll just see a pile of circles. No problem! He won’t shoot accurately. 

MC: Alright. Then, Na Jie, I’ll accompany you. Alright? 

First group up: Zhou Hua Jian vs Zhou Shen (Zhou-Zhou shooting)

Everyone shouts encouragements from the back of the room, while Zhou Hua Jian prepares to shoot. His first arrow scores a 5.

ZS: Wooow~

YQ: Not bad!

MC, singing: Aaaaahh Fifth Ring~ (Everyone laughs)  (T/N: It’s a famous song about Beijing’s ring roads that was a bit of a gag, called the 5th Ring Road Song)

ZHJ, pretending to be dissatisfied: The wind is too strong! Can someone turn off the aircon? 

Meanwhile, Zhou Shen struggles to even nock the arrow. 

ZS, laughing: Aiya...my arrow keeps on falling... (LKQ, watching him from behind: *snorts* Aiyo ya.)

After much struggle, Zhou Shen shoots a 0. Li Keqin stands up:

LKQ: OK OK! OK! OK! It’s better than I imagined! It’s better than your driving!!

Zhou Shen turns around to laugh back at him. Meanwhile, Zhou Hua Jian shoots his 2nd arrow...which also turns out to be a 0. 

NY: Ohh, which one is that?

ZHJ: No, no. That fell outside the target.

LKQ, standing up again: Zhou Shen! You can do it!

ZS, shouting towards the back of the room:  I THINK I CHOSE THE RIGHT PERSON. *cackles soundlessly*

ZHJ: You insult me! *laughs*

ZS: I’ve never participated in such a fair competition!! (ZHJ bursts out laughing)

FYQ: This arrow is an important one. 

LKQ (to ZS): A bit higher! A bit higher!

Zhou Shen shoots a 5. Much wow-ing and clapping ensues.

ZHJ, giving him a high-five: Whoaaa!! You’re too much, you! You’re too much! (ZS laughs)

XZ: Whoa, fate changed with just one arrow...!

ZS (to the back of the room): THE SCORES ARE VERY EVENLY MATCHED. *laughs impishly*

ZHJ: Alright alright. I’ve been too generous! I can’t let you win anymore.

ZS, leaning towards him: You certainly talk big. *cackles impishly* 

ZHJ, preparing to shoot: Whooa. OK! Here I go.

ZS, teasing him: It’s off, it’s off. A bit lower. It’s off, it’s off, it’s off...

Zhou Hua Jian shoots another 0 (it actually turns out Zhou Shen was right, it was way too high). 

ZHJ, laughing (to ZS): No matter where you shoot, you’ve won now. (ZS makes a face) What’s that expression for?? 

ZS: If I shoot above yours, I’ve lost. (ZHJ laughs)

Zhou Shen finally shoots his 3rd arrow. It’s a 3. Zhou Shen won against Zhou Hua Jian by 3 points.

ZS (to the others): Who would have thought I’d win on the account of the person I picked? *laughs*

Second group: Li Keqin vs Jiang Yi Qiao.

LKQ (to the others): I’ll tell you, I saw it earlier on TV, everything else is unimportant -- the most important thing is the mouth. *does a big-lipped fish expression*

ZHJ: Alright then, let’s have a look at how his mouth is doing.

Li Keqin actually does the thing with his mouth and shoots a very stable 7. Xiao Zhan proceeds to imitate the pose in an attempt to learn. Meanwhile, Jiang Yi Qiao is struggling.

YQ: Hold on, I’m shaking a little....

LKQ, laughing: Your mouth has to be like this. *does the fish lips again*

Yi Qiao tries it, shoots 3 arrows back-to-back and gets 0, 2, and 0 points respectively. Zhou Hua Jian and Zhou Shen are both dying at the back of the room.

ZHJ, standing up: You guys should check! *points at Yi Qiao’s last arrow on the wall* I’m sure a fly just died over there.

Meanwhile, Li Keqin shoots a 5 and a 4. Qin Shen Shen leads for the moment being, with 24 vs 7 points. 

ZS, clapping and welcoming LKQ back: Awesome, awesome, awesome.

LKQ: Ehhh, it’s all thanks to youuu.

Third Group: Lin Hai (standing in for Ayanga) vs. Na Ying.

Na Ying goes first.

NY: Eh. *winces as she shoots a 0 point on the wall* Eh...

XZ: It’s okay, it’s okay!

ZHJ, pointing at XZ: Yeah, it’s okay, there’s him going behind you, there’s still him.

ZS: It’s okay, there’s still Xiao Zhan!

XZ: What if they all go off-track? *laughs*

Na Ying shoots her other arrows and they’re all 0s. 

ZHJ, laughing: Hey, they’re all way up there!

Na Ying’s arrows:

LKQ: Great aim. All 3 arrows are around the same area... (ZHJ: If you move the whole target upwards, she’d be smack in the middle. )

For some reason, Na Ying nocks another arrow and slowly turns it towards MC Lin Hai.

ZHJ, from the back of the room: Na Jie, don’t direct your arrow at him.

MC, finally noticing the danger: Eh?! *jumps back and laughs nervously* Um...uh?

NY, smiling sweetly but in a vaguely threatening manner: Hehe. What I mean to say is...you’re up against someone old, so....

MC, reassuring but backing up slowly: No, no, no, I’ve got it. I’ve got it.

NY, still vaguely threatening: You get me, right...?

MC, with his arrow nocked (to NY): I know. *turns his head towards her* I’ll just shoot while looking at you.

MC Lin Hai shoots a 10 (full score) while looking at Na Ying. The whole room loses it, Zhou Hua Jian most of all. 

MC, half-collapsed and laughing (to NY): I...I was really looking at you just now! I just--

NY, in equal disbelief: My God!! You’re playing this hand against me...? That’s really too good!! Seriously...what’s the expression again, this is like playing the pig to eat the tiger!! Aiyoo.... (MC: I didn’t...!)

XZ: Is that a 10?? (ZS: Yeah it is.) *has a mental breakdown*

NY (to XZ): He went straight for that yellow eye! (XZ: He’s too good!)

MC Lin Hai shoots a 3 this time and takes a few timid steps backwards, backing away from Na Ying.

NY: That’s still very good. That’s still very good...

ZS, yelling into his hands: Lin Hai, have mercy! (XZ: Have mercy!!)

MC (to the others): I’m just building some foundation for Xiao Ge.

FYQ, with utmost comfort: First place confirmed~ (The others laugh)

MC Lin Hai’s last arrow is a 5. Fei Yuqing claps for him, while Na Ying makes a small salute, fist against palm. MC Lin Hai returns the salute.

NY (to MC): That was really cool. (MC Lin Hai bows)

Last group: Xiao Zhan vs Fei Yuqing

Before they start, Lin Hai realises that Xiao Zhan has some prior experience with archery because he did it in the Untamed/CQL. Na Ying proceeds to add to Fei Yuqing that he probably won’t win, because Xiao Zhan has the basics down. Xiao Zhan protests he was only playing around at the time. 

His first arrow is nonetheless an 8. Everyone cheers. 

FYQ, smiling: It’s starting.

Xiao Zhan gets a 6 in the meantime. Fei Yuqing casually gets ready to shoot; he’s not even holding his arrow the standard way.

LKQ, quietly: Xiao Ge is probably gonna be really good.

MC: Xiao Ge, you can do it!

Fei Yuqing lets off his arrow and shoots a 10, while the whole room collectively loses it. 

Everyone: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LKQ, excitedly (to ZHJ): I JUST SAID THAT! I JUST SAID THAT!

ZHJ (back to LKQ): YOU JUST SAID THAT!! 

ZS, looking like his soul’s been sucked out: Wooho ho ho.....A 10.......!

Fei Yuqing proceeds to engage in his own brand of celebratory dance:

FYQ (to the others): Hey, this wasn’t a fluke...! *does a cute silent giggle*

XZ, feeling pressured again: Na Jie...!!

Xiao Zhan shoots his last arrow and gets a 4. 

NY: Good. Good. Good, good. (to FYQ) We’re already at this stage, actually, so you can just use your usual state of mind.

While Fei Yuqing prepares to shoot his 2nd arrow, Na Ying starts to sing one of his old songs to distract him, and he ends up getting a 0.

FYQ: Aiya. (the others fall down laughing behind him) Who sang that? Who sang that?

ZHJ (to NY): It’s definitely you who distracted him!

FYQ: Who sang “Nan Ping Wan Zhong”? *turns back around and prepares to shoot* I can’t let my guard down...

NY: Come on, I’ll do another song. “Yi Jian Mei |One Trim of Plum Blossom”. *starts singing with Zhou Shen*

Fei Yuqing gets a 0 again. Everyone collapses in laughter, while Fei Yuqing laughs helplessly. Xiao Zhan bows to him. 

MC (to NY): The song you’re singing, are you sure it’s not “One Arrow’s Gone?” (T/N: Also “Yi Jian Mei”, but with a different intonation)

Fei Yuqing finally returns to the table, laughing:

FYQ (to NY): The more you sing, the further away from the centre I get! 

NY, apologetic and laughing at the same time: Elder brother...Elder brother, I’m sorry...! Elder brother, let me tell you, I’m part of those who are a little mean in variety shows.

FYQ, singing the tune of a famous song: You’ve wounded me~ (NY, singing together with him: And yet just laugh it off~!)

#zhou shen #li keqin #xiao zhan #na ying #wo men de ge #wmdg #fei yuqing #jiang yiqiao #zhou hua jian #lin hai #wmdg trans #im missing the s1 cast today #s2e7 left me with a lukewarm feeling #very lukewarm

[katherinemallory]

#3 The departure

Hell is empty and all the previous chapters are here: #1 #2

I couldn’t believe I had overslept. When I looked at my alarm clock, it was a few minutes after 9 A.M., meaning I was nearly late to my medical.

Quick, I murmured to myself. I had less than half an hour to wash and dress up, so I didn’t have enough time to eat a proper breakfast.

When I was drinking my everyday cup of Earl Grey, I checked my phone just to notice one unread message. Damn, I thought, it could have woken me up, if my phone wasn’t on silent mode again... The text message has been sent from an unknown number:

Thanks for spending the evening with me. Now don’t let M scare you. Good luck, Kath.

JB

The message amused me. So, he knows my phone number already, I thought, trying to remember if I ever gave it to him. No, I definitely didn’t. That’s the kind of things they teach you at the SIS: how to spy on a girl you like.

Quick, Kath, I kept repeating, as I tried to brush my hair. After a few minutes I was ready (thank God I’ve never worn any make-up... such a waste of time). I picked one of my black suits, grabbed my coat and ran outside.

I rapidly opened my car’s door - it was pretty cold for a December day in London - and I checked my look in the rear-view mirror. Not bad, I said out loud, as I started the engine. There were 10 minutes left until my medical. Step on it, Kath. Direction: MI6 Headquarters.

I’ve been driving as fast as I could, so naturally I caught the eye of a one younger male driver when we stopped on a red light. I didn’t mean to show off (I just wanted to arrive at the SIS as soon as possible), but the look on his face was quite satisfying.

But my mind was elsewhere. I’ve been still analyzing my date with James Bond... It went far better than I could expect and I had to admit that Bond had made a pretty good impression on me. Let’s sum it up: he’s reasonably older than me (to hell with my preferences, surely Bond was more suitable for a thirty-something woman just like me than a man twice older than her...), he’s witty (this is his greatest quality without a doubt...), he’s bloody handsome (honestly, I’m not very much into blondes... or am I?), he’s a true gentleman (so far he appears to be one - there are not many gentlemen left in this world)... And don’t forget about the charm...

When I finally arrived, I glanced at my watch: two minutes to 10 A.M. Perfection. As I passed by the guards and then took the elevator down for my meeting with Q, I continued to consider Bond as my future life partner.

Yeah, Bond seems to be nearly perfect except for... his womanizing and the fact that we work together. No, Kath, let’s be realistic: you could never be with someone who’s got a never-ending dating history... Not for real... And this service at the double-0 section thing... It also doesn’t augur well.

The amount of time I had spent thinking about Bond surprised me. Before the date I was able to resist the man, but now I wasn’t so sure anymore. Did I really fall for his charms? Damn. It felt really strange.

The elevator’s door opened. I’ve seen a vast "room" full of shelves and any kind of machinery you could think of. The walls were made of brick and the furniture was rather raddled. The "room" had no windows and there was pretty dark there.

A young-looking man approached me.

“Hello. You must be 002, M’s told me about the medical.”

He had short, dark hair, and in the room’s lighting his eyes seemed to be grey. Despite his deceiving appearance, I presumed he was older than me. He was wearing a brown corduroy-collared suit and a red tie, all making him look like someone who dresses elegantly, but only to such extent no one could say he doesn't care for the job. He was smiling.

“I’m your Quartermaster,” he continued as I didn’t react to his greeting. “Nice to meet you.”

“Hello, Q”, I replied. “Yes, I’m 002, but you can call me Kath if you wish,” I added politely.

“You know, Kath is not a bad idea,” he said, “I’m not a big fan of all this official stuff.” He paused for a while, glancing around the room as if he was looking for something. “Shall we get started?”

He picked up his glasses from one of the shelves and we went through a very long corridor. It turned out that Q took me to a small room with a single chair in the middle, and a few computers on the ground. There was also a desk and some lever arch files lying on the floor. I sat on the chair, ready for the upcoming instructions.

“I will have to ask you to take off your jacket,” said Q, “and roll up the right sleeve of your shirt.”

I did as requested while Q was looking through my files.

“It seems you’re fit as a fiddle.”

“That’s the job,” I quipped, but stopped smiling when I saw a machine that resembled a huge driller. Q was holding it in his right hand. “What is it?” I asked.

“Nano-technology. It allows us to monitor your movement anywhere,” he said and paused, looking into my eyes. “I’m afraid this will hurt a little...”

“It’s alright. Do it qui...”

I didn’t finish my sentence in time. I couldn't, because I felt a strong prick that made me dizzy.

“OUCH!” I yelled, and immediately I had a scowl on my face.

“I’m sorry, Kath. It’s all over now”, he said as he gently stroked my shoulder. Then he gave me a cotton swab. “Hold it there for a few minutes and follow me. It’s time for the more pleasant part.”

We went through another long corridor made of brick walls. After a few minutes, I had absolutely no idea where I was. I felt like I was lost in a some kind of labyrinth.

“Here we are”, Q announced when he unlocked some colossal metal door. He seemed to be excited when we stepped into another strange-looking room. There was nothing there but all kinds of wardrobes. Q opened one of them and chose a black box from the middle shelf with the note "002" written on it. “Open it”, he encouraged me, smiling.

“Wow!” I exclaimed. I’m sure I sounded like a little girl who was finally allowed to unwrap her Christmas present. “I *love* it!”

“Who wouldn’t?” asked Q, still smiling. “The Walther PPK/S 9 millimetre short. It’s been coded to your palm print, so only you can fire it.”

“Thanks, Q,” I said, still in delight. “Anything else?”

“No, that is all. It was nice to have met you. Good luck, Kath.”

There he was: standing in front of me, with his hands on his hips and a smile all over his face. Even though my mind was a mess at that time as I had many doubts about certain people (about *that* one person, to be more specific), I knew one thing for sure. Q is the most lovely guy of them all.

“See you later in January,” I replied and hesitated. “And, Q... have a wonderful Christmas.”

...

After the medical, I headed to the M’s office. The hallway on the last floor was full of people walking around and carrying some documents.

“Morning, Eve,” I said, while opening the first door. “Such a busy time of the year... Can I see M?”

It was really nice to hear her sweet, warm voice.

“Morning, Katherine. Just a second,” she replied and picked up the phone. “Sir, 002 is here.”

I noticed how patiently her eyes observed a little white light above the leather maroon door, with the phone still near her ear. When the light disappeared, Eve allowed me to come inside.

“Morning, sir,” I said and stopped by the door. I saw Mallory sitting in one of the leather armchairs next to this desk.

“Morning, 002,” he replied as he stood up to greet me. “Please, have a seat,” he said in his semi-friendly manner, but to me his words still sounded like an order.

I sat in front of him on a huge old sofa. The natural lighting made me focus on his clothing (again...). He was wearing a deep sky blue shirt and a dark grey suit trousers. His jacket was draped over the chair that was standing behind his desk. I tried to memorize his every move when he straightened his navy tie. He made sure the tie looked perfect, and then Mallory’s right hand landed on one of his braces. My supervisor looked surprisingly good for a brief appointment with his two double-0 agents.

“Very conscientious of you to check your e-mails, 002,” M said curtly and pointed to some documents that were lying on a coffee table. “Your medical record’s fine. Q has already assured me that you’re ready.”

He looked at me in a way that only a supervisor could look at one of his subordinates. I felt obliged to reply.

“Yes, sir, I’m ready.”

“Good,” he commented in his cold voice, and stood up as the maroon door opened suddenly. “002, meet 005.”

I turned my head and couldn’t believe my own eyes. What is more, I couldn’t accept my reaction to what I’ve just seen. My first thought has shocked me. A woman?

There was a slim female standing in front of me. She was probably a bit older than me, but it didn’t change the fact she was stunningly beautiful. Her light blonde hair was longer than mine - down to her shoulders - and she was wearing a black suit, just as me. I was surprised that I immediately started to compare myself to her.

She extended her hand.

“002,” she said, giving me a small, but warm smile. “I’m looking forward to working together.”

“005,” I replied, shaking her hand. “The feeling’s mutual.”

“Well, so don’t mind me,” taunted Mallory, clearly irritated by our short conversation. “Please join us, 005. We are about to start.”

005 sat next to me on the sofa. I usually didn’t get jealous of other women, no matter how good they looked like, but this time it felt a little weird. I wasn’t comfortable sitting in front of Mallory with a woman who was far more attractive than me, but luckily he didn’t seem to notice any changes in my behaviour. For him, we were just another pair of double-0s going on a mission together. He didn’t care about our looks. What interested him was how we would cooperate.

“You leave tomorrow for Geneva,” he stated, “and will remain there as long as necessary. Although I do *not* think you’ll need more than two weeks to finish the case,” his voice sounded more and more stern with each sentence. ”Your mission might turn out as incredibly dangerous, even though right now it appears just the opposite...”

Bond was right, I thought. M tried to scare us. Perhaps he just wanted to make sure we would take the mission seriously, but why the lecture? We knew everything we needed to know from the files.

I got distracted, while staring at Mallory’s hands going up and down his braces. I recognized he didn’t wear a wedding ring. Maybe he wasn’t married after all...?

Out of the blue, someone has cleared his throat. I glanced at Mallory’s face and then realized he was looking directly at me with those exceptionally green eyes.

“Are we clear about the rules, 002?” huffed Mallory. He sounded quite offended.

“Yes... sir,” I stammered.

He gave me a disapproving look and then resumed.

“Your liaison awaits you in your hotel in Geneva. He’s aware of your arrival... and I need hardly remind you that you’re expected to report daily.”

“Yes, sir,” said 005.

“That’s all for now,” announced Mallory as he stood up. He went up to his desk.

“Good luck.”

...

When we got out of the M’s office, Moneypenny wished us luck as well. 005 turned to me.

“Let’s meet at the airport. We’ll talk about everything tomorrow.”

“Seems reasonable,” I added. “The name’s Katherine, by the way.”

“See you later, Katherine. I’m Amanda,” she replied and left the room.

I stayed with Eve.

“You know Eve,” I struggled with words, “I would like to ask you something.”

“Ask anything you want,” she said, hiding her curiosity.

“Christmas are coming... and... I wonder...” I hesitated, “... if the double-0 section ever gave M a Christmas present?”

“No, I don’t think so,” she answered after a few seconds of silence. “At least not since I have been his secretary. The common opinion is that he wouldn’t like that.”

“And what do *you* think?” I asked in a provocative tone, suggesting my view on the matter is different.

“I think it wouldn’t hurt,” admitted Eve.

“Right, because I even have an idea...”

...

I came back home and started packing. I even looked through the case files again while sitting on my bed in my pyjamas. Time passed really quickly the next morning and I was sitting with Amanda on a plane to Switzerland before I knew it.

Our flight was quite pleasant. Amanda turned out to be a very kind companion and it didn’t take long for me to confide in her. I told her *everything* about my date with Bond. It wasn’t responsible at all - I should have known that as a secret agent - but I assume I just needed to vent to someone. We continued the conversation even when we arrived in our hotel in Geneva.

“... and you know, I have no idea what to do. I didn’t want anything from him and now I kept recalling the date and I miss his voice and...”

“Oh, I think you *do* know what you really want,” Amanda interrupted me.

“I do?”

“Yeah,” she said. “If you want my opinion, Bond is not the one you’re interested in.”

“How so?” I asked, still in shock. “I’ve told you every detail of our date. If I am not interested in him, then why I think about him all the time?”

“This has nothing to do with Bond,” Amanda said calmly as she continued to place her clothes in the wardrobe. “You’re a secret agent for God’s sake. You don’t have time for real love. That’s why you think about Bond that much - cause he gave you something you had missed for many months now, a *real* romantic interest.” She turned around and looked at me, “Even if it’s genuine from his perspective, don’t go for it now. You don’t love him. What you feel is temporary.”

I remained silent for a few seconds. Amanda has known absolutely nothing about my crush on Mallory, but she hit the nail on the head.

”You know what, Amanda? I’m going to wait just as you suggest. There’s no need to hurry. If it’s really going to happen, it will.”

“No need to thank me,” she said and started to laugh. “Would you mind if I went to the shower first?”

“No,” I replied. “I’ll report to M.”

I turned on our laptop and started typing:

M,

We arrived at the hotel on time and met our liaison. Nothing suspicious so far, but we’ll keep our eyes open. We’ll look around the place and report again tomorrow.

Yours sincerely,

002.

I hesitated, not sure if I should add any Christmas wishes to my e-mail. No, Kath... remain professional, I thought. Mallory’s going to know we deeply care about him when he receives his gift from the double-0 section. He wouldn’t approve mixing up our private lives with our career lives.

Personally, I wouldn’t mind it... if you know what I mean... I couldn’t stop to think about Mallory since my departure, even though I have gone on a date with James Bond the day before... Bond was on my mind quite frequently in the recent hours, but deep inside I was aware of the fact that my attraction to him was purely physical. And I never followed physical instincts, apart from a very few my weak moments on a very few missions.

With Mallory... it was different. Obviously I’ve found him extremely attractive from the beginning, but that was not the main case here. My boss was so intimidating that I felt paralyzed every time I spent even a brief moment in his presence. But most importantly, I developed a high level of respect towards him. And there has been a recurring pattern in my life: when I respected a man for real, he would often become my fascination, and later on, my love interest.

By the evening I was sure I slowly began to fall in love with Mallory... who was my supervisor. Not a very responsible way to go into the double-0 section. I knew it was pretty stupid... I knew it was unthinkable to develop any kind of relationship with Mallory. It was even unthinkable to have a crush on him, but I couldn’t do anything about it.

I was never a Christmas enthusiast, but... for the first time in my life I felt that I would have loved to spend Christmas in London. I would have loved to see Mallory’s face when he opened his present from the double-0 section. I was sure that Eve was able to get what I suggested just on time, and I wondered if Mallory would want to know who came up with this idea...

I sent my e-mail and went to bed, hoping to have some dreams of Mallory that night.

***

To be continued.

#James Bond #Bond James Bond #Q #miss moneypenny #Gareth Mallory #M #fiction #fanfiction #katherine mallory #james bond fanfiction #002 #007 #mallory #merry christmas #merry christmas everyone

[joaquinfeed]

Both Sides (Arthur x Reader)

Prompt: You and Arthur get interviewed and share both sides of your love story.

Based on the “Both Sides” series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzMZNZCmCUg&list=PLBVNJo7nhINTrW5vVfxWfR3UX-ADSbUg3&index=5&t=0s

I recommend checking out some of the video before reading. It might make more sense. :) 

Warnings: Light swearing and mentions of anxiety, but that's about it. It’s pretty fluffy.

___________

"Okay, you two. Here's how we're going to do this," the interviewer starts. "One of you will put on the headphones, which will have music playing. The other will answer a question about your relationship. Once the person answering is done, you'll switch roles. Got it?"

The interviewer looks over at you both, holding up his thumb to see if you're ready. You slide on the headphones and wait for the music to start blasting through your eardrums. You give the man behind the camera a thumbs up before turning back to Arthur with a smile.

"Arthur, what was your first impression of Y/N?"

"My first impression," Arthur trails off. "We-we met at Pogo's comedy club. I-I was there to p-perform, um, my comedy act."

You reach over, despite not being able to hear anything, and give your boyfriend's hand a tight squeeze. You knew having this type of intimate conversation in front of someone, especially someone who was recording, was going to increase Arthur's anxiety levels. You thought the interview sounded like fun, but you insisted to him that "we don't have to do this, Artie." But he agreed nonetheless.

Arthur returned your grasp, visibly relaxing as your fingers interlocked for a brief moment before he pulled away with newfound confidence.

"Y/N was the loudest person clapping after my set. I took one look," Arthur gestured over at you, and you gave him a curious look. "and that was it. I-I was…blown away."

When you see the signal, you take off the headphones and hand them over to Arthur, who puts them over his ears. You smile as you see his face instantly brighten, and he points to the headphones and mouths "Frank Sinatra" to you. You only grin harder.

_____

You let out a small chuckle when you hear the question. "We met at Pogo's comedy club," you say. "I had no intention of going to see a show that night, but somehow I ended up there. I saw him up on stage; he was doing his comedy routine. He was the funniest one there, I swear. I'm a little biased, but I stand by that belief."

You have to tap Arthur's leg, who's nearly dancing in his seat, to let him know you're done answering the question. He hands off the headphones to you before the interviewer asks, "when was your first kiss?"

Arthur smiles fondly at the question, and you instantly match his smile.

"We were at my apartment," he started. "We just had dinner, and we were watching the Murray Franklin Show. Then, we-we were just kissing out of nowhere."

_____

"I bet he said that I kissed him out of nowhere," you roll your eyes. "For some reason, that's how he sees it. It totally was not out of nowhere. We had been 'dating' for, like, 3 weeks beforehand. I was waiting for that kiss, but it never came. We were watching Murray at his place, he looked over at me, and so I kissed him. He was so looking at my lips."

Arthur's brows furrow together as he narrows his eyes at your mouth.

"Stop trying to read my lips," you playfully swat at his knee.

"Stop telling people lies," he blushes, taking off the headphones and handing them to you.

_____

"Do you have any insecurities about the relationship?"

Arthur tenses up at the question. He runs his hands over his leg as it starts to bob up and down nervously. You give him a worried look, and he takes a deep breath before talking.

"I-I feel like I have a lot going on all the time," he says, trying to push back the urge to burst out laughing. "I'm afraid that one day Y/N's going to realize that I'm not worth t-the trouble that we go through. Things could be easier without—"

Arthur clamps his mouth shut, the rest of his words dying in his throat. You mouth, 'are you okay?' to him, and he nods. You hold out your hand, and he wastes no time in taking it and running his thumb over your knuckles in an attempt to ground himself in the present.

_____

When the interviewer repeats the insecurities question to you, it makes you frown.

"I can only imagine what Arthur must have said," you smile sadly at your boyfriend, and he tilts his head at you. You wave him off, hearing the lyrics of A Change is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke through his headphones. You want to ask him to dance with you, but you know that now is not the time. You do take a little extra time answering the question, trying to give Arthur a little breathing room before the next one. "I'm sure he said something about not being good enough for me or something about how my life could be better with someone else."

You sigh, meeting his gaze. "There's no one else I'd rather be with, and I wish he could believe that wholeheartedly. As for me—" you bite your lip. "I know this is irrational, and when he sees this video later, he's going to be on me for saying this. But sometimes I get this ugly little thought that maybe he's only with me because—shit, this sounds so bad."

You run your fingers over your face, and Arthur knits his brows.

"I just wonder if he's with me because I'm the only one who's treated him right in Gotham. I guess I question if he'd choose someone else if he was presented the option," you admit. "He's going to have the option one day. Look at him."

The cameraman zooms in on Arthur's face—his eyes closed, lips parted, mouthing the words to whatever song is playing now.

"He's just beautiful," you say, eyes shining with adoration.

_____

"What's the biggest fight you two have ever had?"

It takes Arthur awhile to come up with an answer to the question. He searched his brain for memories and came up with very little.

"We don't really fight," he says. "If we do, it's because one of us had a bad day, and it just comes out. I-I think our biggest fight was over my medication. I wanted to stop taking it—it had been a rough day.  Y/N thought that I was trying…trying to say that I didn't care about myself or our relationship enough to keep doing it."

He runs his hands through his hair, scoffing. "That could never be more untrue."

_____

"Oh, that's a good one," you say when it's your turn. "We don't really fight to be honest. I think our biggest fights were in the beginning of the relationship. We were both really unsure, and we were still trying to figure out how we fit together as a couple. So, our biggest fights were really just insecurities. We're getting through it, though."

You smile at Arthur, and he gives you a small smile back before taking off the headphones.

"What'd you say?" He asks you, and you just laugh.

"I'm not going to tell you. You'll just have to wait until we can watch the video."

With anyone else, you know a comment like that would put him on edge. He trusts you one hundred percent though, so he just laughs along with you.

_____

"What's the sexiest thing about each other?"

You chuckle despite not being able to hear and gesture towards Arthur's cheeks that have reddened up considerably.

"I think everything is, um, good," he says, avoiding the word 'sexy.' His eyes flicker over to the interviewer, then back to you. "I trust Y/N, and to me, nothing is—better."

Arthur nearly begs for the headphones this time around, wanting to move past this question. It's not that he didn't find you sexy. Boy, did he find you sexy. He's just not used to being this open with somebody he just met. He tried to focus on you, but his eyes would occasionally move over to the cameraman, and Arthur would be reminded that his answers were being filmed.

_____

"What's not sexy about him?" Your lips twist up into a smirk. "I really love his dancing. He gets so into the music sometimes, it's like he forgets where he is. I also really like when he feels confident. It's incredibly 'sexy' to see him feel good about himself."

You make a 'come here' motion with your fingers, and Arthur pulls off the headphones and leans over. You place your hand on his shoulder, feeling the soft cotton of his button-up under your fingers, before pulling him into a gentle kiss.

_____

"Who said 'I love you first?'"

"I did," Arthur says, shyly glancing at the camera. "I didn't mean to say it. I-I didn't know if Y/N even felt that way about me. It was during the fight we had about my medication. Y/N said if I didn't care about taking the medicine, it was like I didn't care about our-our relationship. I said, 'I do care. I love you.'"

At that, Arthur gave a low chuckle. You glanced at him curiously, trying to gauge if the laugh was a genuine one or not.

"I wish I could hear you," you shout over the music in your ears. He laughs again, and you know he is smiling out of happiness that time.

"I didn't- I wasn't sure what to do, and I wasn't sure if I had ruined our relationship already," he says. "But all I got back was an 'I love you too.'"

_____

"He said it first," you say with a loving smile. "It wasn't the most romantic moment. We had just been arguing. He told me, 'I do care about you.' I turned to him and was all like, 'how do I know that?' Then, he just said it—I love you. I don't think he was expecting to say it; Arthur has this condition, and it's not really my place to talk about it. But, long story short, he had an attack. When we were sitting on the couch, me trying calm him down, I just knew. I loved him more than anything. So, all I said was, 'I love you too.' That was enough."

_____

"Finally, is there anything that you've been wanting to tell the other person?"

"Sometimes," Arthur locks eyes with yours, willing himself not to look at the cameraman in hopes of getting through this last question with ease. Instead of talking to the interviewer, he decides to pretend that he's just speaking with you, and only you. "Sometimes, I know the voices are too loud. The voices that go on about your lack of worth. I know- I know things are hard, and we have a lot of bad days together. There's a lot of…tears and questioning. A lot of not being able to get up in the morning. A lot of comfort. I-I know it feels like we are always going through something. But if I had to pick getting to do my stand-up in the big leagues, or going through life with you, I'd- I'd choose you every time."

His eyes shine with tears, and a concerned look clouds your features. He just smiles and mouths, 'I love you.'

"You're going to make me cry too," you both chuckle before you go to reach for his headphones. "Done talking?"

He nods.

_____

"Oh boy," you blow out a breath of air, biting your lip. "No wonder he was getting emotional. I probably will too."

You pause, holding your hands out for your boyfriend to take. He complies without thought, and you continue.

"Okay. Something I've wanted to tell you is—hey, stop reading my lips," you give Arthur a stern look, and he smiles innocently at you, making you roll your eyes playfully. "What I want to tell you is…I want to reshape reality with you. I want you to keep loving jokes; I want you to keep making kids laugh; I want you to keep giving your last piece of food away to stray animals. Artie, I don't want Gotham—the world—to tear you down. You're too beautiful of a person to stop being yourself. I also want you to know just how much I want to marry you."

By this point, you didn't even care if your eyes filled up with tears. Arthur knew you were happy. He could see it on your face.

"I want to marry the shit out of you. I want to grow old with you. If all we do is live in our crappy apartment for the rest of our lives, then so be it. As long as I'm with you," you squeeze Arthur's hands, and he does the same to yours. "Also, I know you're going to see this interview later. So, you better be okay with marrying me because I already said it.”

The headphones finally come off, and you both sit there in comfortable silence before mumbling soft "hi's" to one another.

"What did you say?" Arthur questions again, and you shake your head at his ever-growing curiosity.

"You'll literally see it in a little while, Artie. Just wait. It's- It's good."

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you."

_____

You both got to view the full interview a few days later when the cameraman invited you back to see the finished product.

The video was beautiful; Arthur was perfect. But most importantly, he did, in fact, want to marry you too.

#joaquin phoenix #joaquin phoenix joker #Joker #joker imagine #joker x reader #joker x you #arthur fleck #arthur fleck imagine #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck x you

[littleprickproductions]

Hardware Vs Software in Production

Hardware in the production world. 

Ok, I'll be honest, as far as hardware goes in my production process it starts with my NI S61 midi keys and ends with my Presonus 5s, with unfortunately nothing in the middle but my mac and audio interface. I know there are hardware gurus out there that would be shocked that I even call that hardware, but my point is, I’m a complete novice. From using VST plug-ins to create sound to mastering with software equivalent reverb and everything in between; ninety-nine percent of my whole production process is software. During the course of this blog, I have been given the opportunity to use real-life hardware versions of the VST plugins you find in your software library, and ask the question what place does hardware have in this increasingly digitised world?

My goal throughout this process, along side testing hardware, is to create three tracks form the hardware being tested each week and therefore giving the hardware a good run and the shot it deserves at proving its worth.

Private link to Tracks:

DRUMs & BASSes

Being an aspiring Hip hop producer, I decided to begin week one of my hardware pursuit in the way I start most of my tracks, with drums- and boy it did not disappoint. More specifically the Arturia Drum Brute Sequencer. The sequencer allows you to trigger drum sounds at certain times through a 16step sequence and then shape the sounds to suit, including tone decay and velocity adjustments. One early finding with hardware and something to bear in mind, it's not as easy as just uploading a software VST and away you go. “VST” is an acronym that stands for Virtual Studio Technology and was introduced by Steinberg Media Technologies in 1996. It was invented as a way of adding real-time audio effects to audio tracks recorded on a computer. It elevated the computer from being a MIDI sequencer and audio recorder to becoming the fully-fledged audio recording, mixing and producing platform that we know today (Vincent, 2019). Hardware requires essentially more hardware to support the integration with your chosen DAW and enable recording of the audio. In this case the MOTU 624 Audio Interface. An audio interface is in the simplest of terms a router for your audio signals with line inputs and outputs to allow playback from the hardware through to the monitors. If I were to use the drum sequencer as my only hardware, the simplest way of connecting the hardware would be from the sequencer to the interface via jack lead, or even simpler, directly with midi to the computer. However to do this project justice I will accompany each piece of hardware with at least a second, maybe more, to encourage creativity and hopefully give the hardware a real chance at proving its worth. Besides, you don't just create drums on a track and call it quits, do you? 

Introducing my second hardware instrument, the Moog Sub Phatty. The Sub Phatty is an analog (also known as subtractive synthesis) synthesiser, designed for low-end bass. I found this to be a very powerful synth and very interactive, once I managed to get my head around the basics, and look at it as I would any software synth that I would load into my DAW, Serum for example. Choose an oscillator wave type, add a filter, adjust the envelope and so on. I was flying! Straight away I found it so intuitive. There's something about being able to interact with a synth, the same way you would learn to play an instrument. This by far is the biggest pro I've found when using hardware at this point, due to the contrast between having the knobs and keys in front of you and playing them, over moving the mouse and then drawing midi notes as you would with the software equivalent.

I find that physical interaction fits a lot smoother into the creative flow over clicking a mouse.

Routing Diagram

Bibliography

-Vincent, R. (2019). What Is a VST? All Your VST Questions Answered! Retrieved December 8, 2020, from Careers In Music.com website: https://www.careersinmusic.com/what-is-a-vst

Midi Integration

My first impression with this week's hardware was just how scary it all looks, especially the Korg Volca and the JP-08. The JP-08 is a remake of the 1996 FM synth, the JP 800. FM or Frequency Modulation Synthesis is based on the use of at least two oscillators; a Carrier and a Modulator. The Carrier Frequency is most related to the pitch or the fundamental frequency and is usually controllable with a keyboard or other MIDI input. The Modulating Frequency is used to alter the Carrier at a specific Modulation Rate and Modulation Intensity or Index (Mantione, 2017). This session showed the importance of reading manuals. One downside of hardware, that unlike software synths, is that you cannot just install and click away. In this case, there were many procedures I had to follow to get even the smallest soundwave. My advice would be to follow the signal path due to the hardware requiring a clock source to keep all parts time/tempo synced. So I began by sending the Midi Clock from the DAW (used at the master clock) to a Midi Motu interface. Midi stands for Musical Instrument Digital Interface. It was introduced by Robert Moog in October 1982, with the idea that one universal language could be used to support various instruments. However no audio is passed through midi, instead, it sends a series of digital binary signals (1s and 0s) which the computer, instrument or Midi interface then transfers to the audio signal. (Wreglesworth, 2018)

From the midi interface, midi signals are sent to the individual hardware (to keep them synced), then audio to the mixer and on to an audio interface- ensuring each element is passing a signal to the next and so on. Secondly, ensuring all inputs and output through the DAW are set correctly, in this case, output to midi and input from the audio interface. Eventually, after many attempts and using my own advice of following the signal paths, we have audio!

The next step was to create some recordings, which began by inputting midi notes to trigger midi signals. I found this a great combination of both software and hardware. Using the DAW to write the notes and then use the JP-08 to modulate the sound. This allowed me to concentrate fully on the sound development itself while playing the notes on a loop, tweaking the oscillators, envelopes and creating modulation until I found a sound that I liked. From there it was a case of repeating the process, layering multiple sounds over different octaves, creating sounds and filling the frequency spectrum. Using the Roland TR-8 sequencer to add a drum pattern in a similar way as the DrumBrute in previous weeks, and a third instrument- the Korg Volca, I had everything physically in front of me to compose a track.

Routing Diagram

Bibliography

-Mantione, P. (2017). The Basics of FM Synthesis. [online] Pro Audio Files. Retrieved from https://theproaudiofiles.com/fm-synthesis/. 

‌Wreglesworth, R. (2018). A Beginner’s Guide To MIDI: What Is It? How Does It Work? Retrieved from Musician’s HQ website: https://musicianshq.com/a-beginners-guide-to-midi/

Synchronisation and Collaboration 

Synchronisation is a broad term and occurs a lot during the creative process, especially when using hardware. Previously I've spoken about hardware being synchronized with other hardware by the use of midi to match tempo through a master clock from the DAW. However in this case, I'm exploring synchronisation with others. Synchronous meaning happening, existing, or arising at precisely the same time (Merriam-Webster. n.d.). Most weeks I've had the opportunity of working with another person when using the hardware set-ups. This weeks set up is somewhat similar to last weeks, we’re using the Roland TR-8, the Roland TB-3 and the Novation Bass station. Having a second person there to bounce off, one experimenting with drums on the TR-8 and the second on the Bass station playing with melodies, very quickly sparked innovation and creativity. Once we heard something we liked whilst vibing of the energy of one and another, we began to develop further to create almost a full track/performance. We’d record melodies and loops and then experiment with effects on the mixer to create risers and evolve the piece, whilst adding a creative depth. However, I am aware that the ability to be able to play side by side with another in a room is not always going to be a possibility, especially with the cost of studio time and the rise of home studios. This is where we were introduced to Ableton Link. Ableton Link is a technology that keeps devices in time over a wired or wireless network. Link is built into Live as well as a growing number of iOS applications, and any Link-enabled software can play in time with any other Link-enabled software simply by joining the same network.

Link allows two or more users of the same local network to sync clock, use audio hardware collaboratively and share audio stems. If a local network is not available, users can use ad-hoc (computer-to-computer) connection to do the same (“Link, Synchronisation, and ReWire — Ableton Reference Manual Version 10.,” n.d.).

I found this process extremely creative as both users can share ideas and bounce off each other's energy. However there are things to consider, users have to be flexible and open to the fact that there is going to be differing opinions on direction, including BPM of the track, key and genre to note a few.  

Routing Diagram

Bibliography

-Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Synchronous. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved December 8, 2020, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/synchronous

The Power of Modular

I have been using a Human interface device throughout this whole process without realising exactly what it is. A human interface device can be defined as a type of computer device that ordinarily takes input from humans and gives output to humans. While the original plan for the HID specification was based on the idea of a standard for human input devices, the acronym itself was changed to human interface device as it became clear that the standard would support bi-directional communication, meaning both inputs and outputs (“What is a Human Interface Device (HID)?”, 2020). However, this doesn't just apply to the use of synthesizers. By definition, this applies to any device that allows humans to interact with computers, from pointer tools such as a computer mouse to the output of the speaker audio. For me, the use of hardware throughout this module has identified the importance of choosing the correct HID for the task. Which brings me my next piece of hardware. Modular synthesis. 

Simply put, a modular synthesizer is an electronic musical instrument that consists of a multitude of different components (modules) that are used and combined to create electronic sounds (“Modular Synthesizers - A simple explanation,” 2019). Modules are connected via patch cables, to create and develop sounds and effects. Once an initial sound is produced, more modules can be introduced to modulate carrier waves and effects, and more added again to modulate that modulation. In theory, the possibilities are endless and once you've found your feet with the initial sound creation and the signal path, it becomes very intuitive and evidently a creative HID. I rapidly learned it would be my body that would fatigue far before the sound creation possibilities with the modular. One negative aspect was that as all the hardware was timed and sequenced to the clock it was difficult to fail. This being said, it is important to remember to stick to any goals set before starting, as the rabbit hole with this one goes a long way down. 

It's great the fact that you can go, oh ok what does this do and experiment, however, if I specifically decided I want to modulate the hi-hats, for example, a certain amount of knowledge is required to enforce this.

Routing Diagram

Bibliography

-‌Modular Synthesizers - A simple explanation. (2019). Retrieved from t.blog website: https://www.thomann.de/blog/en/modular-synthesizers-explained-simply/

-‌What is a Human Interface Device (HID)? (2020). Retrieved December 8, 2020, from Total Phase Blog website: https://www.totalphase.com/blog/2020/08/what-is-human-interface-device-hid/

Evaluation

Over the past few weeks, I have had the opportunity to explore hardware synthesisers, sequencers and mixers- learning in detail the processes of what it takes to set up hardware through the application of midi and audio interfaces. I've learned how creative and intuitive hardware can be, through the use of different types of human interface devices, and exploring how using many different approaches can affect the speed, ease and development of the music-making process. To begin I learned the basics of hardware set up. Through the use of manuals and tutorials, I gained confidence in my ability to be able to be given a new piece of hardware and use it to create and record soundscapes. I learned very quickly not to judge the hardware on its looks, especially when it comes to modular. Once I broke the process down and followed the signal path, I learned that use of hardware wasn't as scary as it looked. It didn't however come without its complications. Throughout the weeks, I discovered that hardware is a lot more complicated to set up than simply plugging in a VST software instrument. Sometimes even if everything looks like it should work, it doesn't, and it can take a long time to gain even the simplest sound. However, it has definitely been worth it. It is difficult to deny the fact that hardware, and the ability to play the hardware as an instrument, is extremely creative. Especially in comparison to my usual desk with a mouse and keyboard. Hardware still firmly has its place in the production world, and I encourage anyone who has the opportunity to explore it, to go and do so. However, I believe the combination of hardware and software is the best equation when the end goal is creating music. 

[blackevermore]

x Within the Days The Bombs stood still [Au Lore/Plot]

x Whaaat another god damn au? Yes...Yes....Because my mafia au and historical lady in waiting au isn’t enough for me. I love making aus, it’s my drug honestly

What’s this one about Cev?

x Cold war era, androids, falling in love with the wrong person, trying to stay alive, and a bittersweet ending! Is it all historically accounted for? Nah. But It’s a funny little idea.

Sit back, relax and get ready for this. It’s gonna be good.

x Okay so while watching an ASMR where the listener was a robot and the YT was repairing them I had the idea of what if I/my sona was an android created by the Americans during the end of ww2 but wasn’t activated during the 70s in the middle of the cold war between America and USSR.

x America was working on a a big top secret that only England knew about to basically create the perfect robots to air drop into the USSR in case there was something going on and they needed to basically blow up the nation before the USSR blew them up. Or simply to have them be spies they send over that could automatically report back to them.

x Alfred, one of the lead sophomore scientist of the project R.A.B (Radioed Automatic Bombers) was in charge of programming and designing the human covers for each robot. Against the orders he was given Alfred too the creative freedom of tweaking each bot into having it’s own made up personality and back stories. He believed that if this robots were going to pretend to be human then they needed to fit the bill. He was stumped on what to do for one of the bots so he used inspo of the female black mathematicians he met at NASA that past summer and created M.E.L (Multipurpose Electronic Locator)

x Luckily for Alfred most of the bots were going to stay in the states to catch any Russian spies that happen to slip in. So creating M.E.L wasn’t that big of an issues considering who he based her after. Alfred had the idea of keeping two of the bots to himself for assistance anyway.

x But was put on a halt when a couple of KGB manage to break into Alfred’s unit and destroyed some of the robots and stole most of the documentation. M.E.L wasn’t completely finished like the other bots and she was going to end up like the rest until one of the spies said they should take one and send it back home to be studied so the Russian would have a lead in whatever the American's were doing. And that became the fate of M.E.L

x When M.E.L arrived in Russia (imma flip back and forth between Rus and Ussr bare with me) the scientist try to take her apart for the information but then its noted in a stolen document that Alfred in coded all his secrets into a trust data base. In order for them to get anything they would have to turn her on and "befriend" her. Only then if they ask her something top secret would she automatically give them what they wanted.

x At first they weren't going to put up with it and destroy her but the junior lead scientists Ivan saw it as a challenge and told them he would deal with her.  And in due time Ivan puts M.E.L back together, puts her human covering on and turns her on and M.E.L boots up, what they forgot to look for was to see if she spoke computer or human. So when M.E.L powered on she only responded in English and it seemed that she had a mind of her own instead of being programed to do as she was told. Ivan had more work on his hands than he was expecting. 

x Ivan had to rewire her so that she understood and spoke back in Russian. When he was successful that's when things got tricky. M.E.L didn’t see the world in 1s and 0s she saw the world as if she was a real human who happen to take a nap in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ivan being the blunt person he is constantly reminded her that was false and that just made things harder.

x Ivan wasn't dealing with an robot, he was dealing with an android that thought it was human. M.E.L wanted to go home, she wanted to see her "family" but she was stuck in Russia. So Ivan lied to her and said the American left her there and that he was a simple scientist who wouldn’t mind helping her get back home as long as she followed his rules.

x M.E.L didn't like the sound of this but she had no choice but to give in and work with Ivan to get back home. And thus Ivan's rules were simple: 1) No going outside without him 2) She wasn't allowed to wonder each and anywhere in his house 3) if she didn't mind, having something to eat ready by the time he got home and 4) no asking him questions about what he did at work.

x At first M.E.L hated it, and she broke the second rule very offend when he wasn't around. So much in fact Ivan would turn her off before he left the house and have a timer to turn her back on an hour and a half before he was suppose to be home. M.E.L would ask him questions about the difference in American teach and Russian teach and Ivan had to turn her off and reprogram her to be unable to ask those questions. It was a lot of fucking work but eventually they came to an understanding and found an easy way of life to the point Ivan was happy to come home to company.

x But then Ivan started getting to comfortable and failed to report in sometimes. He started seeing M.E.L less of a robot and more of an actual person. The only thing that made it noticable M.E.L wasn’t human was the barcode on the back of her neck and the few times she would glitch out and fall to the ground. Alfred did an amazing job putting her together and if someday Ivan met the man he would taken him in secret.

x That's when things start to take a turn, Ivan isn't reporting as much information about M.E.L and it's been six months. The government starts to think Ivan is actually an American based spy trying to hide the secrets so they start investigating him and spying on him. Ivan isn't dumb and he knows they are and he is trying to cover his footsteps as best as possible.

x This even happens when Ivan is sent on a month mission to Ukraine to overlook the construction and stability of the new power planet that’s being built. He powers off M.E.L and very carefully dis mantels her to store her somewhere safe while he is away.

x But a few weeks after he returns from Ukraine he slips up one night while drinking and he kisses Mel and confesses he might actually be in love with her. And the spies catches that and the next morning Ivan's house is raided, lucky for Mel, Ivan had a feeling something was going to happen and relocated them to the other side of the house near the back where in case of anything they could escape.

x It's honestly a fight for their lives and Mel gets hurt and so does Ivan but they make it out and have to figure out how to get out of Russia and get into Ukraine then down into Poland and over into Eastern Germany. They can’t take public transport like a plane while still in soviet areas because they would be easily captured. Ivan was now an enemy of his country. It takes a year of having to hide, lie, steal and cheat to get all the way to Eastern Germany. But when they make it Ivan can no longer walk and Mel pushes him around in a wheelchair. They make it to safety and Ivan turns himself in to the Americans and Brits that have control over the Western side of Germany. Mel stays with him the whole time when it’s revealed she's an American product.

x Of course wind word catches wind and the American government is contacted and Ivan and Mel are taken back to the states where Alfred finally gets to meet his creation after two years of thinking only of his bots (Matt) survived. He tells her she’s even more human than he ever imagine her to turn out. That’s when it finally dons on Mel that Ivan wasn’t lying she really wasn’t human.  Alfred reinsures her that as long as she's willing to help her country he can push some documents to have her a real identity made. Mel accepts as long as she can stay with Ivan.

x But even that was tricky bc now the government is holding Ivan under wraps from both the public and the USSR for questioning. Ivan is really good at giving very little and taking a lot. He told them a few hints of information but not enough to truly do any damage. Eventually the Americans allows him to live in the public but he is under watch. Ivan doesn’t care as long as he can live an honest life with Mel. 

x Come to find out Alfred knew all about Ivan since he started his job, Ivan was the one who was always deflecting the American messages in American air space and Alfred had to change the messages to something stupid to throw them off. Alfred offers Ivan a job at the company and they become friends (even with their constant bickering). 

x In the end Ivan and Mel stay in America for the rest of Ivan's life, even getting married (that was a weird one for Al but he keeps his mouth shut)

x Ivan ends up dying of old age and Mel doesn't wish to live on without him so she goes to Alfred who is also a very old man and ask him to finally turn her off for good. He asks her if she sure and she tells him to make sure where Ivan is buried she is buried right next to him. 

#🌻Optimistic Tragedy🌻 #Cold War au #hetalia self ship #self ship #self shipping #self shipping community #this post is long #au lore #my writing

[dangerouslysmartslime]

Trying to understand college: My first Academic Development 101 Zoom Meeting

Discussion is going to start, and it’s going to be for Chapters 1 and 7. Academic Development 101… Starting with a check in, so… I didn’t read both parts because it is purely questions that you’d find at a mental hospital, which makes sense but it is a pain. So stop wathcing fucking shows like People Watching and get stuff done.

What is one thing you hope to accomplish this Winter Session

I hope to get used to online classes, unlike my Junior Year of High School, which was quite unpleasant. At the same time I also felt like I was being babysat by the school as there was no on the campus who knew what I was taking. Taking US Government, Trigonometry, English, Environmental, and such but a lack of continual feedback. Just trying to understand things day in and day out and the best thing I could seemingly think to do was to read the material and then look at what other people online thought, and then use both the actual sources and analysis of others. To be a lot better person than that is ideal, however it can be a lot harder than being at a class and there being discussions and then what happens outside of class is review.

There are a lot of folks who are here today, so they’re taking attendance and I feel unsure of what to do. I realize now that the three classes are interconnected, in the fact that they aren’t straight and narrow, they’re pieces that you have to read, go over, then respond with in your ideas. You have two days left before all the assignments are due for the week. A lot of people say they should earn at least a B+ GPA. One must first be stable before they can help themselves. Apparently a lot of people don’t know what to do with themselves, but they spend a great deal of money on education. Where do you take it to and pursue. Improving as a student and being more organized. It’s definitely something that I should work on, as there are Modules 1 and 2 at the same time, and getting it all done is important so you don’t get multiple 0s and fail classes. Just as you ended up getting an 80% in a Quiz just because you didn’t answer the questions quickly and efficiently. Learning better time management as folks can often be procrastinators. Passing, keeping focused, and keeping ahead of assignments.

Transitioning to online classes can be a pain for people. How to apply the tools you have, as there is a difference between getting dressed and being there or being online. And the program they use is something that people get used to. Her name is Stacy Hurley, who’s taught at CCBC Face to Face since 2011, taught Sociology classes in the evening and worked with child protective services for Baltimore City as well as nonprofit and therapy. She is an adjunct, and works with the Howard County. She does dog walking, dog sitting, and tutoring for fun. She likes that she is flexible, and her favorite thing is teaching. She started a post-graduate program, as not only she has a teacher perspective but a student perspective, so she was taking classes as well as teaching. She even asked for extensions, using the tools to keep yourself on track. Any questions? Nope.

Meets Tuesdays and Thursdays, and is a Synchronous class, meeting at those times and you are reading the chapters before class so there can be a good discussion. Know the material, and then review is in Zoom. There are quite a few modules she goes over, and the process is important. The “journey is the point of it” The final point is the “story of me” Where hopefully the class is at a different point in 3 weeks from now. All of the Office 365 applications are used, and there is a way that you can connect the google calendars to the school one. You can add those in there so everything is in one Calendar. Work on understanding everything so you can be organized. You also get a OneDrive to store work, and some people may also use a Google one, and saving it into the OneDrive is important so you can do it on your work computer, or home computer, or a library computer. You can make folders as to organize things by class, then week, then assignment (just as I have already done). I still need to make a To Do List for each week, and getting things done efficiently.

Announcements, and if you need tutoring, then you can arrange them through the virtual tutor. You go to getting Started, a tutorial to get to CCBC Email and Login, then the Keep Learning guide for online resources going from Face to Face, then logging into Blackboard. Going to Blackboard and it’ll bring you up, and if you don’t have it then you have to go to MyCCBC login. For the New Student Orientation there is a video and powerpoint to look at. The information will also be talked about in the next 2 hours (because it’s already been 30min) in the end there was the certificate, which I need to send to Stacy Hurley for Extra Credit.

Students improve and remain in college because of Academic Development 101. Think about Resilience and Grit. It’s not hard stuff, it just takes time and planning to deal with. Schoology is similar, for grades there is All, Graded, Upcoming, and Submitted. How much everything is worth, where you see discussion, assignments, and all of that. When she grades something you will see the grade out of how many points, then a text bubble giving feedback. “Hey you’re missing this, hey I like this, hey you should’ve had this.” And you can submit multiple times, taking her feedback into consideration. Practice your writing and communication.

In general the information hasn’t changed in the newer textbook, but it might be a good idea to buy, and we’re not going to get to all of the chapters. College Policy regarding etiquette for Zoom Classroom. Of course wear clothes. First part of the list, you must read. Student Success Navigators. There isn’t a counselor on campus, but they assist with finding resources like food, housing, applying for benefits, getting mental health help, referring for any of these services. You should be successful and going there is done at any way. Either talking to them or filing a report to need services. Someone contacts you to set up an appointment for what you need. There are disability accommodations, for different mental and physical disabilities depending on if you have a 504, and people don’t tell them why you get accommodations, as it is protected by HIPPA and such. There is also the Student Success Center offering tutoring, and avaliable for tutoring as the class fees pay for it. So use the link. Pay attention to the Academic Calendars, like when you can drop a class and when there are finals. Use proper college English, use proofreading. This is the time to do so. Turn your work in on time. Anything extra that was not assigned will be extra credit. Take advantage of it, as not every class has extra credit. Earn as many points as possible out of 800, so you earn as many as possible, then add the Extra Credit points, then the class grade is that out of 800. Know where everything is by keeping it in one place. Keep it in APA Owl Purdue College Format. It breaks down how to cite. Some courses may use APA, some may use MLA. You will be creating “The Story of Me as a Lifelong Learner” as each assignment builds up to the final project, which will be done using the app SWAY. Given each topic and skill you should be able to build a toolbox. The three words are Grit, Resilience, and

If you want to do the bare minimum, that’s on you, but if you want to do more, then you can. Really it is best to do as much as possible. The biggest Module is Module 4 as there are the most complicated pieces. Career Inventory, a survey that goes along with it, research links to look at careers you’re interested in. Looking at Educational Plan with DegreeWorks attached and information from ARTSYS website to plan Spring classes. I still need to talk to an advisor, so that is rather important. Transferring to another university later. You have to pay attention to each of the pieces. The final project is due February 1st, taking all of the pieces to have a Portfolio,/Presentation/Blog online about you as to finish it. The career piece will be on Animoto. You’re not paying for anything, you’ll just be using the free version. So manage your work and your stress to do what is needed. In person they used to do a career poster. Videos on how to set up Cornell Notes if handwriting. The templates were given for Word. You must write a summary of the chapter to show what you have taken away, it is pretty important. This chapter told me ABC. The notes must be in the format, whether typed or handwritten.

What is ACDV? Academic Development

Helps you be successful in your academics, to identify weaknesses, meant to help you develop good habits in academics, to come up with a strategic plan for yourself. Promoting healthy attitudes, to help sharpen your skills. To help you transition to college, to know where things are on campus and on Blackboard. To help make sure you are choosing the correct career path and educational path, to help you with a work/life balance with a new academic lifestyle, to help you prepare for the future, to help you have an idea of where to go. Getitng to know yourself better, developing academically. Exploring your passions, interests, values, skills, and talents. You can be interested in a great many things but you aren’t skilled in many. But interests can become skill. You can develop new skill based on the interests you already have. What are your values. The jobs that you’re thinking about, what is your motivation. Because if your motivation is purely money, then you could’ve taken a job that costs less to study for. What do you want to accomplish and look at. You don’t want to be a nurse if you don’t like blood or needles. Sure carrying tradition might be nice but it may not be fit for you. Do you want to have a career and not just a job.

What is academic development

To help us know what to do with our lives.

It can be quite difficult as there it can take a third of our lives to become who we want to.

A guide to CCBC and how to perform well in this institution.

What is Student Life is a thread that it has. There is the Community Book Connection as well. A book club, and the newest one is “The Truth about Stories, a Native Narrative” which if you do it, you get extra credit. Campuses are open, and you have to stop, they’ll check temperature and you have to ask questions on whether you’ve been close. The library and bookstore are open to go and get things. It is kind of a ghost town due to the plague, but things are still open. Blackboard has a list of Campus Events, Activities, and Resources she’s talking about. All of the folders are there, and things are due by tomorrow, while for Intro to Human Services my classes are due the day after. It is a pile of things stressing me out and the best thing you can do is to do your best at surviving and making the world a better place. Important things you need to cover, so let’s get done what is needed one thing at a time. Module 1 for ACDV is now due on Friday, and you’d get the rest done by Sunday. On Thursday we’ll talk about Finances, so that will also have to be handled. Filling your mind with sha helps no one, so take it one step at a time, use your peers and teacher. Try first, you will have to deal with things outside of time and sooner or later it will all click. We might not get to everything, so mainly do what is assigned. If it isn’t assigned, then wait until you’re done with assigned work before working on unassigned work or work due far later (following week). 

#CCBC #Community College of Baltimore County #Academic Development

[jaehyeonsgf]

hi!! Can u do jaehyun angst from prompt list no.10 & 27 🥺 Thank u very much 💚

10 : that was a lie and everyone knew it

27 : say it out loud

a/n : i hope you enjoy it! i really enjoyed writing this one! (also i’m writing this as i’m running late for my exam dhakjhekrhe)

[ view prompt list here ]

-

When your word fell apart, it did so silently and with ignorance.

It’s nothing like how movies portray them to be. There’s no loud wailing, there’s no desperate self-preservation and there’s no impending doom. Just silence, a few nods and the taste of iron in your mouth.

“Okay,” your voice falters and you cough, trying to steady your voice, not wanting any weaknesses reveal itself. You grip your thighs tighter, letting the pain of your nails digging into your flesh distract from the ache in your chest. “Let’s break up.”

On the train home, you see a boy typing something on his phone. You didn’t mean to look at his phone, but he was sitting beside you and it caught your attention. There’s a string of 0s and 1s dancing across his screen and you immediately recognised it as binary code. The ache in your heart tightens. It means nothing.

Back in your university days, Jaehyun would surprise you by littering random notes all around. From your textbooks, your dorm’s fridge to the bulletin board that hung in front of your bed. It’s his way of leaving small touches in your life, reminding you of him even when he’s not around you. Of course, he never writes it in languages that you understood. The sadistic string within him would write it in Greek, Chinese, Japanese even in Russian once. You’d spend the whole morning decoding it. Some days his message is short and sweet, decoded it would say ‘I love you’. Other days, his message is long-winded but still sweet.

But when you woke up to a string of 0s and 1s written on a post-it note, you thought that he had officially gone crazy.

You later learn that the random and seemingly arbitrary arrangement of 0s and 1s is called binary code. And out of all the languages he used, this became your favourite. It’s a language that both you, a business major, and Jaehyun, a literature major, could understand. A halfway point between your differences.

The next few weeks come and go in a blur. You bury yourself in work and more work. You barely have the time to breath. For a while, you’re stuck in a routine of work, coffee break, more work until it’s 2 in the morning and you remember that you’ll have to wake up at 7 the next morning so you try to go to sleep. Rinse and repeat.

Some nights are better than others. There are a handful of nights when your head hits the pillow and you drift into sleep immediately. But most nights are spent tossing and turning in your bed, that seems a little bigger and a little colder now. You’ll let the ticks of the clock lull you to sleep and in the rare events that you do manage to catch some rest, you’d jolt up an hour or two later, panting and crying.

You don’t even realise that your 26th birthday is coming up until the day before when you receive a text from Starbucks, wishing you a happy birthday with a free drink. Suddenly, you feel the loneliness overwhelm you and you let a tear spill out of one eye. The next comes and they just keep on falling out. For the first time in a while, you don’t touch your laptop for the night and just sit in the living room alone and crying.

Your daily routine of burying yourself in work and sleepless nights numbed you to the core. You detach yourself from everything, friends, family, emotions. Everything. Your phone lights up beside you and you see a text from Taeyong, your best friend. Then another from your mom. You stare at it for a little while longer. But when you don’t see Jaehyun’s name flash across, you feel a surge of pain through your body. You turn your phone over and rest your head against the cream leather of your sofa.

It’s 12 midnight. It’s the day of your birthday. It’s the first time you’ve spent your birthday alone in eight years – ever since Jaehyun came into your life – and you’re not sure what to do.

It becomes a tradition the third consecutive year you spend your birthday with Jaehyun. It starts with a ‘happy birthday!’ text from him at 12 midnight sharp. You’d always stay up to see it, even if it meant forcing yourself by pinching yourself. Then when you get ready to leave the house in the morning, you’d see the gifts on your doorstep. There are variations in them from year-to-year but for the most part, it remains the same. The flowers change every year, but it’s always there. The first year was, as cliché as it is, roses. The next was carnation. The year after was lilac. Then sunflower, jasmine, forget-me-not, white dittany and angelica. You remember every single one because Jaehyun is the only man to have given you flowers. And also because he’d tell you what each one mean and it’d overwhelms you with happiness you never thought were possible. Without fail, there’ll be a letter too. Jaehyun is a fan of poetry and would write the most beautiful literature for you. He even wrote Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18 for you one year. In his letters, he doesn’t hold back on his compliments, praises and expression of love. Then there were miscellaneous gifts – they were the gifts of what you’ve once said you wanted or something that you were obsessed with at that time.

When you wake up in the morning, you’re gifted with sore neck and legs from the weird posture you slept in and stinging swollen eyes. The swelling doesn’t subside by the time you leave the house so you cover your eyebags with more concealer than usual. You open your door and, for some weird reason – perhaps habit -, you find yourself looking down at the doorstep. You’re greeted by a dead leave and you crush it on your way out.

After work, you find yourself heading to Taeyong’s house.

When you replied to his birthday wishes, he had invited you for a little catch up with a few other university friends. You had half a mind to reject him using the excuse of work because you don’t want the possibility of hearing about Jaehyun. After all, they were friends with Jaehyun too. But he sends you ‘jaehyun won’t be there. i swear. just come. i’ve missed you. we all have.’ when you don’t reply fast enough. You realise that Jaehyun probably told them what happened. He texts you another ‘pleeeease?’, you finally cave and promise to be there.

You forgot how long it has been since you’ve met up with them until you see that they are all rocking different hairstyles and hair colours since the last meet up. Taeyong’s red hair has been replaced by an ash-brown colour. Mark’s previously black hair changes subtly to a light shade of brown. Yuta’s hair has grown out and he has it in a man-bun.

“Do y’all just really like going to the salon or what?” You chuckle, taking off your shoes and following after Taeyong into the apartment.

The other 3 guys stand up from the couch and each takes turn to engulf you in a warm hug. You exchange pleasantries with all of them, answering the typical how have you been by lying through a smile when you tell them life’s good.

They catch you up on a few things in their lives. You learn that Yuta is now a model, Mark’s pursuing his masters in Literature and Taeyong and Ten have opened up a dance studio and are dance instructors. They learn that you’re working at a bigshot accounting firm.

They are careful to not bring up Jaehyun’s name through it all.

When the commotion settles, you find yourself sitting at the dining table with them.

“So, how’s life man?” Taeyong asks as you lift the mug to your lips. “You’re so busy nowadays.”

You just shrug. There’s no possible way of truthfully answering the question without breaking down of them and you refuse to break down in front friends that you haven’t seen in almost a year. Besides, you’d prefer to pretend the uglier sides of your life doesn’t exist.

“It’s been… okay,” you play with the rim of the mug, “Tiring I guess.” You give him a sheepish smile and pray that he’ll leave it at that.

But they don’t. “Even after the… um… breakup?”

Taeyong’s bluntness catches you off-guard and you freeze just for a second. You force yourself to not recall the afternoon when the break up happened five months ago. Or the eight years that you’ve spent with him.

Instead, you reply with a practiced answer. “It’s tough at first. You know, especially because we’ve been together for like, what, eight years? But I’m… I’m okay.”

That was a lie and everyone knew it. You see the glance that Mark gives Taeyong. The way Ten rakes a hand through his hair. The way Yuta shifts uncomfortably.

“I’m… really fine, you all don’t have to worry about me,” you assure.

There’s an awkward silence that hangs in the air and even you’re not sure what to do or say.

“No like really?” Mark finally breaks the silence. “Because from the looks of it, you look… terrible.”

You wonder what gave it away. Was it how your clothes hang looser on you? Or the way that, by this time of day, the concealer laid on your skin? Or was it the way you still played with your fourth finger, as if the promise ring was still there?

“We’re all ears and we won’t snitch,” Ten adds when you don’t reply. He reaches over and rests a hand on your wrist, “Tell us what’s going on.”

“…It’s just,” You take a deep breath. “I’ve been so… in love with him and I still am.” There’s a tension that is released from your chest from finally allowing yourself to admit it. You’ve missed him and you’re still in love with him. You didn’t realise the extent of these emotions because you’ve been in constant motion but now, they hit you full force and you’re sure that not even for a moment did you stop loving or missing Jaehyun. You’re not sure if that’s good or bad thing but you continue.

“And I thought- I really thought that, that we’d get married, you know. I thought he was the one. I don’t know where it went wrong or what I did wrong.”

When Jaehyun left, it felt like half of you left with him. There’s not even a Jaehyun-shaped hole in your heart. No, the moment you stood up and left the café, half of you was left in it. The downfall of your relationship lasted a whole year. It took a whole year before Jaehyun plucked up the courage to break things off with you.

It started with a promise.

It was a quiet Sunday morning. The both of you were awake but none of you wanted to leave the warmth of your bed. He had sat up, back against the headboard and had one hand holding a book whilst the other played with your hair.

Then he reached into the nightstand’s drawer and pulled out a small transparent pouch holding two silver bands.

“What’s this? Are you proposing to me?” You chuckled, eyes meeting with his.

He was always a romantic and you wouldn’t be surprised.

“No,” his voice still thick with sleep, “but I want this to… to represent my promise to you.”

“What promise?”

“That you’re mine. And I’m yours. Forever.”

You laughed. “That sounds exactly like a proposal, you know that right?”

His cheeks flushed pink.

It’s times like this that you’re reminded of how simple-minded Jaehyun was. He wasn’t the type to think too much. Rather, he acted irrationally at times, doing things because he wanted to. You take the pouch out of his hand and take one ring out. It’s a simple metal band, nothing extravagant. On the inner ring, it had his name branded on to it. The other ring had yours.

“I-I got it from the gift shop on the way home,” he said.

He saw your soft gaze on the ring and knew that you’d love it. It made his chest swell with pride.

“What do you think of it?” he took the ring out of your hand and slip it on your fourth finger. He took your hand and kissed the spot above the ring.

“I love it!”

Mark gives you a sad smile. “You know, he’s… well, he’s himself, he’s Jaehyun. There’s a logic there than none of us can begin to understand. Don’t torture yourself by thinking too much.”

But I’ve knew him the best. Your heart boasts. You thought that if anyone were to understand anything Jaehyun does, it’d be you. But then he goes and do this kind of shit that causes you to doubt your position in his heart. Not that you have one anymore.

“Have you spoken to him since?” Yuta asks.

“Well, no,” you take a deep breath, “But I mean… He wouldn’t want me to remain in his life after all of our history and-“Another deep breath. “It’s better than way, no?”

They exchange a glance.

“Has he at least given you a reason?”

You look at Mark and shake your head. Even if he had, you didn’t hear it. The shock had overwhelmed you to the point that your ears were ringing.

“Then it’s only fair if he did, right? He’s not one to not understand that,” Mark says with a comforting smile.

The rest of the night carried a less serious tone to it. You talk. They listen. They talk. You listen. You watch a horror movie with them – a sort of tradition started since you befriended them in university. You laugh at how jumpy they are. When Mark starts yelling from the toilet saying that he swears he saw something in the mirror after the movie, the rest of you spend the reminder of the night clowning him.

That night, as you lay your head against your pillow, you smile – one that is out of genuine happiness. You’re grateful for friends like them, who are there regardless of circumstances. Hanging out with them brought endless amounts of joy into your heart. And you feel your heart beginning to mend back together until your phone lights up from a text.

You turn to your phone and the message completely shatters your heart. The few hours of work that your friends did completely undone in a second.

‘happy birthday, i hope you’ve enjoyed yourself today.’

It’s from Jaehyun. You realised you still haven’t changed his contact name from ‘my future hubby’ to something else. The text is the first text that you’ve received from him since the day in the café. Your finger hovers above the screen as you think of a suitable reply. But you’re unable, so you flip your phone over and turn away from your phone. You drift to sleep with a single thought in your mind.

He still remembers my birthday. Maybe he’s still in love with me.

The thought stays with you when you wake up in the morning. Maybe he misses me. Maybe he wants me back. Maybe he didn’t mean his words. Maybes will be how you meet your demise. The way five months’ worth of supressed emotions hit you like a wave and doesn’t stop there. It swells and hits you harder with each maybe.

You’re barely able to keep up at work, without letting your thought stray to him and you wonder how you were able to do it just a day ago. You think back on Mark’s words and decide that you’re ready. You’re ready to meet him. You’re ready to get closure.

When you lay eyes on Jaehyun, the first time in five months, your heart swells and your prepared speeches fly out of the window because you’re rendered speechless. The dim café lights don’t hide his dashing good looks and you see his familiar double-lidded eyes. They’re tired and you wish that maybe, just maybe, it’s because he’s been missing you too.

“Hello,” you say settling into the seat in front of him

“Hey,” he gives you a small polite smile, “You wanted to talk?”

You nod. “Uh, yeah. I just- Um. How are you?” Your words are awkwardly strung together because you’re nervous, so goddamn nervous.

“Seriously?” he chuckles, lifting a cup to his lips. You glance at it and guessed that it’s black coffee. Plain, black, just how it likes it. “Well, I’m doing, as well as a person who’s just lost their first love can do.”

His words are dripping in sadness and his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. It catches your eyes.

“What about you?”

You don’t know if you should answer honestly. Would it come off as too attention seeking?

“I’m- I’m not doing too well. Have been getting night terrors.”

“Again?”

You smile sadly. You don’t say that this time, it’s because of him.

You remember how when your father first passes away in university and you started getting night terrors, it’s Jaehyun’s warm arms that calmed you down. His thumb gazed your cheeks, wiping away your tears and he whispers softly It’s okay and I’m here now.

“So I guess that’s why you look so… tired.” He reaches across the table with his thumb. It gazes your cheek and his familiar touch causes you to flinch.

“I’m sorry, habits.” He retreats his hand.

“It’s okay. Anyways, I haven’t been doing too well because-“ the words are stuck in your throat and you don’t want to admit them. You take a deep breath. Jaehyun waits. He’s patient.

“Because I can’t get our breakup out of my head.” You admit to both yourself and him.

The tears that you’ve swallowed for the past few months wells up in your eyes and it spills, continuously. Between choked sobs and sniffling, you tell him that you’ve missed him.

He reaches over and this time you don’t flinch. You let him wipe the tears away.

“Tell me how to make it better. Say it out loud.” He says.

“Please, don’t leave me alone.” You tell him and you speak from your heart.

He goes over to your seat and hugs you. He mumbles soft apologies and even let a few tears drop. When you’ve stop crying and he’s walking you back home, he surprises you by telling you why he broke up with you and it isn’t because he fell out of love with you. Rather, he simply thought that you deserved better than him. He tells you how he misses you, how he craves for your attention. There’re nights when in a drunk fervour, he almost calls you.

That night, the both of you just talk. Work through the relationship – his insecurities and your dependence on him. But you don’t get back together. At least not immediately. It’s too soon.

But the both of you aren’t in any rush, so you take your time with the relationship, cherishing each step of the way with him.

#nct #nct 127 #nct u #jung jaehyun #angst #mine #babe #requested