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fijiangecko · 3 years

Text

The Gr8King

Camboy!Oikawa Tooru x Fem!Reader

+9k words

MDI, Explicit, Smut, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers

Read it on AO3 here

Finding an apartment for college was one of the hardest things you’d ever done. Searching endlessly through ads, you ciphered through countless creeps and dingy houses that were not up to code. Up until the second to last week of summer break, you had no where to stay, but a friend of yours from high school said that he knew a guy looking for a roommate within your price range.

Thanking him a million times, you met up with Tooru Oikawa the next day at a coffee shop and got acquainted. You found him charming, and something clicked between you two immediately, a spark if you would.

Two days after you met him, you were moving in. And very quickly after that you met his best friend; the three musketeers were together at last. Hajime, Tooru and yourself were always together and you all got along extremely well.

You were a middle ground between the two, somewhere between the lines of rude and flirtatious, but it made for some fun nights out. Hajime and yourself are even better friends than Tooru and you, but both of you agree that it’s because of the mutual “hatred”. He became your best friend in a matter of weeks, and people often assumed you were a couple. Every time, it was quickly denied as either of you stated that you would rather shoot yourselves than hook up with one another.

Fast forward almost a year later, and the three of you are sitting on the couch, watching some shit alien documentary Oikawa put on in the background.

“Do you think we should buy a bigger TV, Y/N-chan?” Tooru asks you while shoveling some noodles in his mouth.

“Dude, it’s fine. I mean if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it? Plus, I don’t have the kinda cash for that at the moment.” You stand up, stretching slightly while reaching out to Iwaizumi, seeing as his bowl is empty. “Unless you wanna pitch in?” Laughing softly, he places the bowl in your hand and shakes his head.

“No chance in hell I’m helping you losers buy a bigger television for your apartment.”

“Well that was uncalled for…” Oikawa quietly mumbles. “But! I think I’m just gonna buy a new one. You don’t have to worry about the money or anything. Think of it as our one year anniversary gift!” He wiggles his eyebrows and bumps his elbow into Iwa’s side as you roll your eyes and walk to the kitchen. You’re just glad that you make it to the sink before he can see the bright red on your face.

You weren’t sure when this started, but whenever Tooru teased you, a rush of blood would flow through your system. You’ve known each other for years at this point, and nothing like this has ever happened. You’ve noticed that he’s been building more muscle, almost like he’s glowing. You’re unsure, but not upset.

“How the fuck can you afford that? You’re at practice all the time, and you don’t have a job.” You turn around after washing the dishes, leaning into the counter as you speak.

The two men quickly share a glance before Oikawa speaks. “I have my ways.” The flirtatious tone in his voice lures you in, wanting for the subject to change, and you give in to the pretty boy's ways.

“Whatever Flattykawa.” He sticks out his lip and pouts as you insult him. “I’m gonna turn in for the night, I have an eight thirty lecture and I still have to meet with a TA beforehand.” A yawn escapes your mouth as Hajime stands up from the couch, making his way to you and wrapping his rather large arms around your frame. The man has always been a walking space heater, and you place your arms around him. He rubs his hands on your back before saying goodnight and walking back to the couch. Tooru is still pouting, head turned to look out of the window as he sees his best friend hug his crush. The slight twinge of jealousy lasts for a brief moment, going away as he whispers a brief goodnight to you as well.

A week or so has passed since that night, and things are still the same between yourself and Oikawa. He did end up buying a new t.v., and you got the “old” one for your room. Not only that, but he’s been receiving packages all the time. Almost everyday he gets something shipped to the apartment, and you can’t help but wonder where the fuck all of this money is coming from.

It’s none of your business Y/N. If Tooru’s rich, then there’s nothing you can say about that. He’s just a little luckier than you are, with money, talent and looks he’s practically got no issues… Your thoughts run on and on as you sit at the bar, distracted from the homework on your laptop screen. It’s roughly seven or eight at night on a Monday night, meaning Oikawa’s home since it’s his day off. He doesn’t like being bugged when doing work of any kind, and tends to stay in his room until he’s finished doing whatever it is he’s doing. It was an agreement you both made when you first moved in to learn each other's boundaries and respect privacy at all times.

Your phone dinged on the other side of the counter, and you quickly picked it up to look at the notification. At the same time, Tooru walks through his bedroom door and into the kitchen. His unruly hair was even more disheveled than usual, and his shirt was nowhere to be seen. It’s a rather common occurrence for him to be shirtless, but it’s been happening more and more. Unaware of your gaze, he continued looking for a snack like nothing mattered. You glanced at him quite a few times, admiring the light viel of sweat covering his chest and the soft breaths as he took a few deep inhales.

Not taking any chances of being caught, you went back to checking your phone and saw a text from the group chat you had with a couple of gal pals. They were asking about going to brunch tomorrow and you quickly responded that you were down to clown before placing the phone back on the counter.

“What’s up Tooru?” Your eyes settled back on his frame as he turned to you, a smile grazing his lips. He liked it when you called him by his first name. Not that he’d tell you, but he thought it was cute that you only called him that when you two were alone.

“Nothing much Y/N. Looking for something sweet to eat…”

“Hmm, if I recall you’re the one who ate the last of the rice krispy treats.” You cocked your eyebrow, smirking at his over exaggerated reaction.

“And?” He placed his hand over his heart, “Just because I ate one of your rice krispies treats, and it happened to be the last one doesn’t mean I don’t deserve something sweet.”

“Riiiight, so by one do you mean five? Because I did take the trash out of your room the other day, and there just so happened to be some more wrappers in your bin.”

“Y/N. I would never, and when I say this, I mean never eat all of your snacks. I can’t believe you would accuse me of such a thing.” Oikawa sassed you back, feigning innocence.

“Mhm.” You hopped out of your seat and walked to your room.

“Where are you going?” He calls out, a little dumbfounded that you up and left.

“Hold your panties dude, I’ll be back.” He crosses his arms and leans into the counter as he waits for a few seconds. He can hear your footsteps coming back to the kitchen only a minute or so later, and suddenly a chocolate bar comes flying at him. It hits him square in the chest, but he catches it as it falls.

His lips stretch out into a genuine smile, looking between you and the chocolate. “I love you Y/N,” Tooru says in a sing-song voice, but rips open the wrapper as he speaks. Once again, his words cause a sudden blush to cover your face and you practically run over to your laptop to use it as cover.

“Whatever Tooru.” He chuckles while getting something to drink, and you see that the group chat has popped off during your short encounter. Decisions had been made in a small amount of time, but now you have plans tomorrow.

“What’s got you so happy?” He says, mouth full.

“Oh, just going out with some friends tomorrow. Haven’t seen them in a while so it’ll be fun.” You don’t bother looking up as you type.

“So I won’t be getting a breakfast special?”

“Are you saying you like burnt toast and crispy eggs?” A soft laugh fills the space when Tooru throws the wrapper in the trash. He pads over to the living area and plops down onto the couch.

“Vegging out for the rest of the night?” You call from the kitchen, still engrossed in the group chat.

“I think so. I’m all caught up with everything and a new episode of that alien series came out yesterday.” A hum in affirmation leaves your lips before sitting down next to him.

The rest of the night is quiet as Tooru watches his show and you text your girlfriends, both of you content with being next to one another in comfortable silence.

“So Y/N”, one of the girls smacks her lips once she places her champagne glass on the table, “You and Oikawa together yet?”

A blush erupts over your skin, and wanting to hide you start to shield your face into your shoulder. “No,” you mumble while the girls laugh at your reaction. They’re some of the only people, mind Hajime, that know about your crush. It hasn’t been that long since you’ve developed these feelings, but it’s starting to have an affect on your dynamic with him.

“Well,” another one of your friends starts, “I think you should hop on it girl. He’s fine as fuck, and I can’t help but imagine what he can do with that body-”

“Alright!” Your best friend breaks up the conversation, seeing you get more uncomfortable by the moment. “We don’t need to talk about Oikawa’s anything right now, but I am curious about him buying new things for your guys’ apartment all the time.”

“I don’t know guys. I think he’s just rich, or something,” you shovel some of your food into your mouth, speaking in between bites. The girls look around at each other and shrug it off.

“Maybe he’s got a side business.”

“Or he’s a sugar baby!” They all laugh, minus you who takes the idea seriously.

Maybe he has a sugar mommy or daddy… I mean, he’s got the looks and personality… You pick at the food on your plate as they continue their conversation.

“I would kill to be a sugar baby,” one of them whined, “Then I could sit around and do whatever I wanted.”

“You mean you could sit around and watch porn,” your best friend interjects. Silence fills the space before another round of laughter erupts from the table.

“Okay, but hear me out…” Another girl whispers under the hollers that can be heard across the restaurant. “I started watching this camboy the other week and it’s really hot.”

“Oh, like the guys who jack off on stream?” They sip out of their champagne glasses.

“Yeah, but when you donate money you can request or get things out of it. The guy I’ve been watching has been doing stuff with some vibrators lately, and I can’t get enough.”

“So,” you look up at them all, placing your fork down, “there’s just this whole category of porn where people do what you want.” They all turn and nod, almost eagerly.

“Did you not know about this Y/N?”

“I mean,” you could feel the heat rise on your face again, “I’ve heard of people jacking off on streams, but I didn’t know it was that popular…” Some of them laugh softly at the notion, but others try to explain further.

“You know, you might like it. I can send you the guy's username I’ve been watching. He streams every Monday for sure, and a few other times during the week. I’ll just text you.” She winks and the rest of the morning is just catching up with everyone.

Over the course of the past few days, your curiosity grew about cam culture and what it entailed. It’s been over a year since your last relationship and it has taken a toll on your sex drive. You aren’t about one night stands or friends with benefits, so you just stick to watching, listening and reading porn when you need to get off, and as the days went by you needed the release.

Making sure your room was locked, you opened your phone and searched through the texts to find your friends suggestion.

“Gr8King”, you whisper to yourself while typing the name into the search bar. The livestream pops into frame and the man is fully clad in a slutty maid outfit, teasing his own nipples with his fingers while he speaks ever so softly into the mic. His head is above the screen, allowing you to only see his mid and lower body down to his calves. He’s lean and toned, and you can feel your own arousal growing at the sight. The notification tones going off every few seconds, hundreds of people donating and thousands watching as he moves a hand slowly down his torso, grabbing the hem of the skirt.

“Should we move on to something more,” he moves closer to the mic, breathing softly and talking in a deeper tone, “sensual?” The vibrations from his voice cause chills to run down your spine. You run a hand over your clothed sex, dying for friction while clenching your thighs.

The skirt comes off, falling to the ground and it leaves him bare on screen. He wasn’t wearing anything underneath it, and his cock is already getting hard. The tip is red, leaking with precum as he moves his hand up the shaft, rubbing the head with his thumb and smearing the liquid around.

Messages increase from the viewers, begging him to do something more, but he stays in his position. “I can’t do anything until the masters say I can,” he whines. Never in your life did you think that you would have a thing for guys in maid outfits, but what was left of the outfit and him calling the audience “master” fueled your curiosity.

That’s when you realize the small animations on screen. Based on the donations, there’s a vibrator going on and anytime someone donates they can change it, and if they exceed a certain amount they get called “master” for the night. More people donate, rapidly changing the speed and he bucks his hips into his fist, moaning breathlessly. “Not- not so much,” he releases his hand except for the pointer finger, running it with a feathery touch from the head to the base. A larger notification shows on screen, a “master” donating a rather large sum of money. Once again, the chat waits in anticipation to see what he’ll do next.

“Looks like master wants me to fuck my dirty little fleshlight while the vibrator gets turned up all the way.” He turns to find what’s necessary, and you stare at the screen, biting your lip.

Am I really enjoying this that much? Your eyes are glued to the screen, waiting in anticipation for what’s about to happen. He returns to the frame, toys in hand and resumes the broadcast.

“How could I deny my masters when they’ve given me so much? I need to be a good boy for them..” he purrs into the mic, teasing the head of his cock on the entrance of the clear fleshlight. The vibrator goes to max, and he shoves the toy down his length, moaning viciously.

Embarrassment floods your system as you listen to this random person whisper sinful things into your ear as he reaches his peak. It’s definitely foreign to you, but the throbbing between your legs makes you want to watch more.

Watching the “Gr8King’s” streams becomes almost routine over the next few weeks. You convince yourself that it’s healthy for you to jack off whenever he streams, but deep down you know it’s just an excuse to stare at some guy guy's body while he talks dirty. In fact, this past week you’ve found yourself wanting to donate for the first time, but you don’t have money to just throw around willy nilly so you just lurk.

The stream boots up, this week being just a normal show where he takes suggestions from any amount. You settle into bed, getting prepared for the night’s activities while listening to the voice call you pet names like “cutie”, “gorgeous” and countless others.

It was a stressful week full of work and school, so you decide to take the time now to really let loose and let him guide you to your climax. He talks about nothing in particular, but does as his audience wants while moaning and playing with himself, leaving you panting on your bed, waiting to release at the same time.

Taking all the time in the world, he edges himself multiple times. You can barely hear his words as you desperately try to keep up, but you can feel the knot grow even further in your lower body. After teasing for almost fifteen minutes, he starts to whimper, begging the audience for relief. The way he speaks into the mic is weirdly familiar, just a few phrases here and there catch you off guard, almost as if you know him. This feeling is quickly washed away from the growing knot in your stomach. The audience give into his pleas immediately and you feel the shock waves of pleasure wrack your body. The high washes over and you pant to regain composure. After lying on the bed for a few seconds, you lazily get up and wash up very quickly before hearing a short growl come from your stomach.

Making something quick, you watch some TikToks on the couch as you eat, too entranced by the memes to see Tooru walk out of his room. Once again, he is shirtless, but he spots you on the couch before entering the kitchen.

He slows his pace to admire your flushed skin and glow as you laugh. His heart beats quickly, and he targets the fridge. You can hear him in the next room over, but you don’t bother to call his name, figuring he would join you shortly.

A few moments later, you hear his bedroom door shut and you’re left alone. “What the fuck?” You check the date on your phone, making sure it’s Monday. He usually watches his alien show with me on Monday’s since we can hang out… With a frown, you turn on the t.v. The newest episode plays out as you mindlessly scroll, wondering what was wrong with him.

Two days later, you finish watching a stream, taking longer than usual to clean up and head back out to the living room, wanting to clean some before Hajime comes over. Much to your surprise, it’s being worked on by Tooru, who’s wearing a muscle tank top and some running shorts. He’s panting quietly as he bends to pick up various pieces of trash, but it leaves you stunned.

When did he get so buff? You peered at his abs and pecs through the large slits on the sides of his shirt, but he turns and catches you staring.

“What’s up, Y/N-chan?” He’s got a sly smirk plastered over his face. Your reaction is involuntary heat takes over your body. Without saying anything, you turn and go back to the safehaven of your room.

Tooru is also stunned over your movements, expecting some kind of sassy retort. Then his phone dings in his pocket. Still freaked out over what happened, he checks his messages and sees you’ve texted the group chat you both have with Iwaizumi.

[I think I’m sick, so you guys have fun tonight <3] His brow furrows; now he’s just confused.

“The fuck did you say to her man?” Hajime shoves a piece of sushi into his mouth, talking between chews. Tooru and himself sat at the counter, talking over some movie that all three of you were supposed to watch.

“I made a joke about her staring at me since I was wearing workout clothes, but I thought she was gonna just punch me or something.” He places the chopsticks down on his plate and tries to think. A light goes off in his head, Hajme can see that, but the look is quickly replaced with one of defeat.

“Imayormaynothavebeenavoidingherforthepastfewdays.” All at once, Oikawa speaks in a rushed and hushed sentence, hoping his best friend caught on.

“Excuse me: what.” There’s no playful tone in the air. Hajime popped that balloon and glares daggers into that thick skull of Oikawa’s.

“I,” he plays with his hands, “may or may not have been avoiding her over the past few days.�� The first go around was quieter, but Iwa hears it more clearly, finally understanding what’s going on.

“You’re a fucking moron, you know that right?” Hajime places his utensils down, “I’m not going to get in between whatever’s going on here, but you both need to figure shit out. You can’t just avoid her all of the sudden. Not that she’s said anything to me, but she might be going through something and having one of her best friends just avoiding her out of the blue might not be the best thing for her.” Oikawa’s eyes widen at the words of wisdom. He makes a mental note for later, and the night goes on with the two men watching Godzilla for the 100th time.

Monday afternoon rolls around, and Tooru walks through the door of the apartment, finished with his classes. You’re making some tea to get some homework done, and he marches into the kitchen, raiding the pantry and fridge.

“You okay man?” Your brow pops up in concern. He didn’t have practice today, so why was he acting like this?

“Huh?” He turns with some food stuffed in his mouth. After swallowing, he answers, “Yeah, I’m good. Just wanted to talk with some friends on chat tonight so I wanted to eat quickly.” Hesitantly, you nod, returning to your laptop on the counter. What you couldn’t see was how his heart rate picked up after seeing you in the kitchen. He’s been wanting to confront you about his sudden absence in your life, but everytime he sees you he gets extremely nervous and bolts.

Tooru finishes up with whatever, and practically runs to his room, slamming the door. He scolds himself quietly behind the closed door for not saying anything to you.

Rude. You focus on homework for another thirty minutes or so and check the time, knowing that your weekly ritual is gonna be starting in the next fifteen minutes or so. Packing everything up, you move into the bedroom, checking the lock on the door for the thousandth time before settling down.

In minutes, “Gr8King” appears on screen, this time in a sports uniform. He starts out like normal, teasing the audience with his voice, running his hands along his body as countless people donate and chat in real time.

Just as he’s about to take his jersey off, a notification dings somewhere off camera and he tenses. “Excuse me cuties,” in a rush, he moves out of frame, slightly knocking his camera from it’s normal setup.

In the background, you spot a poster on a wall that’s eerily familiar. It’s light blue, with a man jumping high, arms reaching back as he prepares to attack. A net is settled before him as a volleyball is high in the air. There’s words in a foriegn language, except for the large letters at the bottom of the poster: “Argentina”.

This causes you to stop what you’re doing. You’re not entirely sure why, but the poster pokes and prods at the back of your mind. It’s a thorn you didn’t know you had.

Why does this guy have an Argentinian volleyball poster? The live stream continues in the background while your eyes haze over. Why does this bug you so much? It’s not like I know the dude, but he did seem familiar in a sense...

That’s the last piece. Everything falls into place as you hastily slam the laptop close. Your breaths are heavy as you finally understand. He’s not fucking rich, he’s a fucking camboy! Your fingers run themselves through your hair over and over as your brain tries to process what’s happening.

I’ve been watching Tooru fuck himself for weeks and had no idea. I was watching the guy I’m crushing over please himself for thousands of people, and he’s just down the hall. What the fuck. You try to stop fidgeting, but your anxiety starts to spike.

“Maybe it’s not him. Maybe this is just a weird fucking coincidence that some streamer has the same schedule as Tooru and the same volleyball poster,” legs pacing around the room, you try to rationalize the situation. Talking out loud helps you realize what’s happening, but you speak quietly to ensure he won’t be able to hear you. Your heart is hammering in its cage, the rapid beating making you dizzy.

Before making any hasty decisions, you walk out into the kitchen and grab a glass of water. “Maybe it’s just a coincidence…” You pull out your phone, turning the sound all the way down and go back to the stream. You don’t actively watch, bouncing your leg as you lean on the counter, and wait for it to end.

You realize it might be a while, and you creep through the hallway, wary of the floorboards that creak and press your face onto his door, listening as closely as possible. Very softly, you can hear moans and grunts, but no actual words. Maybe he’s just working out...

The stream is still playing on your phone, but you return to the kitchen. Not much later, it ends and you wait patiently, timing everything from when it ends. Preemptively, you fill an extra glass with water and set it down. Five minutes pass, and Tooru walks out of his room, sweaty and shirtless. He turns the corner, taking the glass with a small thanks before going to the living room.

The timing makes sense. If he’s the Gr8King than it would make a lot of sense...

[Hajime we need to talk] you type and send before returning to your room, avoiding Tooru. He notices your disappearance and frowns, debating on fetching you. He misses the time you two used to spend together, and he scolds himself further for not bringing it up.

Taking a deep breath, he tells himself to “man up” and sends, [hey, i'm here for you if you need me :)]. He presses his lips into a line before hitting send and placing the phone on the couch next to him.

“So what’s up? Not to be rude but you never wanna go to the juice bar…” Hajme laughs lightly, hiding how nervous he is to be meeting up with you.

“I need to ask you something,” you sip the green smoothie, smacking your lips in disgust at the flavor. “And I need you to be honest with me.” Making eye contact, you set the cup down on the table.

“Y/N you’re freaking me out,” he meets your eyes and clenches his jaw.

“Well,” the blush rises in your cheeks, “I always joke about where Oikawa gets his money,” Hajime tightens his grip on his own cup, but remains silent. “I thought it was weird that he got packages all the time when he was either at home or at practice. Then I realized when he was at home, he’d lock himself in his room.” Your face is bright red and you take a deep breath in. “A friend of mine suggested something to me a few weeks back, and when I looked into it I saw something I don’t think I should have.” You look up at the ceiling, avoiding Iwa’s strong gaze. You don’t say anything, trying to think of a way to ask in the least embarrassing way possible.

“What is it Y/N?” He speaks with a small voice.

“Istooruacamboy?” You whisper, still looking up. Hajime’s face also breaks out into a blush, but he chuckles at the events. His chuckles grow into full on laughter as he buckles over and you’re stunned into silence. This continues for a few minutes until he calms himself down, wiping a few tears from his eyes while he looks up to you.

“I can’t believe you found out by watching him.” Some would say it’s impossible, but your face turned two shades darker as you slap him on the chest.

“Fucking asshole! You fucking knew, didn’t you?!” You punch him in the bicep for good measure as you scold him. His laughter is brought back while sipping on the rest of his drink.

“He started after the first semester of school, just trying new things. He told me it was interesting to him, and I said I wanted no part. He hated working at that sports store, you know that, and when he started to get popular there was no going back.” You sit silently, letting him explain. “I hope you don’t think that he’s like, sex crazed or anything… He’s just doing it for the money as far as I know and he likes being able to work from home.” He smiles, acknowledging his friends work but finishes his drink in silence, waiting for a response.

“I don’t think any different of him,” you shake your head and begrudgingly take another sip. “I just- It’s hard for me to take in? I think? Like, I wanna be supportive for him, and I’d like to think that I am but that doesn’t change that I want to be more.” Hajmie nods in affirmation, already knowing that you have feelings for your mutual best friend.

“I'm gonna keep saying it, just tell him. Tooru’s a good guy, and you two deserve each other.” You bite your lip and keep silent. “But first you should tell him that you know about the cam stuff.” Iwa is nonchalant about it all, and grabs your cup, finishing off the drink.

You sit on the couch, bouncing your leg but keeping an eye on the package that sits on your lap. It was something for him, but you don’t open it. You just sit there, eye’s on the door, waiting for him to get home from practice.

This is a stupid fucking idea, I should just go back to my room. Your leg bounces faster, and the anxiety bubbles in your stomach. You have no idea what’s gonna happen when he steps through that door, but you were set on telling him tonight.

Just then, the sound of keys entering the lock draws you away from your thoughts, the handle jiggling slightly before it turns and Tooru steps through. He’s dressed in sweats and a tee, hair damp from a shower and a gym bag hanging from his shoulder. He kicks his shoes off and enters the living area, setting the bag down without noticing that you’re watching his every move. Moving into the kitchen, he still doesn’t acknowledge that you’re there as he grabs a glass of water and walks back down the hallway to his room.

“Tooru!” You don’t know what you’re doing, but you need to get this over with. He stops his movements, and pulls an earbud from his left, looking at you with concern.

“Yeah?” He’s unsure what’s causing your outburst, but then he notices the package sitting in your lap, hands softly grasping it to keep its place in your lap. A wave of panic settles down his spine as he slowly spins around and walks to the couch, taking a seat on the other side from you. His eyes are glued to the package, but he notices that it isn’t open.

“I have something I wanted to tell you,” you start softly, placing the cardboard box between you both. He gently sets the glass of water on the glass coffee table and folds his fingers together, settling them on his lap.

“And what’s that?” He’s still shaken, but looks into your eyes.

Your heart starts to pound. What if this is a mistake? He looks like he’s about to throw up. Shaking the doubt from your head, you take a deep breath and hold your gaze. “I know what you do.”

His head cocks to the side, taking in your words. “I’m sorry Y/N, but what does that mean?” He hopes you aren’t alluding to what he thinks you’re getting at.

Another deep breath and you start again, “I know why you spend so much time in your room.”

Tooru’s face flushes with color, the pink hue finding its way onto his skin and he laughs anxiously at your words. “I don’t think I follow.” He’s trying to change the subject, hellbent on finding a way out of this. “Are you saying you know that I masterbate Y/N?” He’s trying to tease you, hoping this conversation would stop and you would hand him his package and be on your way.

Cue your face turning red, but you huff in annoyance, throwing the box at him. “Yeah, if you mean that you’re streaming it.” He catches it and looks at you, eyes are blown wide, and he realizes this is the worst timeline to be alive in. You, on the other hand, are annoyed that you had to say it out loud and stand up, folding your arms and staring him down. “I don’t care, but I wish you would’ve said something to me. As your roommate and your best friend,” ouch, that hurt, “it would’ve been nice to know.”

With that, you march into the kitchen, looking for a way to cool off, but a pair of arms sneak around your waist as you rummage through the freezer.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything,” he mumbles into your hair. The close contact wasn’t abnormal, but it never felt like this. Your body heats up when his breath hits your skin, but you remain in your place. “I just- I didn’t know how you would react and Hajime kept telling me to talk to you about it, but I always get too nervous to bring it up.”

You spin around, his arms still on your hips, and watch his face carefully. He looks concerned still, but there’s a small pleading in his look. “And why were you nervous?”

Tooru’s face turns a shade darker, “It’s just weird, I guess. You’re one of the only girls in my life that I'm kinda serious about I didn’t wanna loose you if you thought that I just thought about sex all the time.”

Was that a confession? Your head starts to spin when he realizes what just happened.

“I MEAN, uh, you’re one of the only girls that I consider a big part of my life, you know?” He’s frantic and stumbling over his words, but you stay absolutely still. His grip on your hips loosens, he wants to run into his room but sticks it out to see what you do.

Instead, you surprise him by nuzzling yourself further into his neck. “You’re very important to me too, Tooru.” Your voice is soft, and muffled against his neck but he smiles into your head, living in the moment. He wraps his arms around your frame, squeezing you tight against his firm chest.

“I’m kinda serious about you too…” The statement was almost lost to the hum of the a.c. unit, but Tooru caught your words and he stiffened up. You stay exactly as you are, praying to whatever god is out there that this all works out in your favor.

It takes a few seconds for him to come back to earth, realizing how hot your face is against his skin, but once he regains consciousness he chuckles. The vibrations ripple through your body, as you both remain in one another's arms. Your first thought was that he was laughing at you, and the panic settles under your skin. He can feel you start to pull away, but tightens his grip on your body, effectively trapping you in this position.

“Iwa-chan’s right, we are idiots.” Everything is so confusing. Does he like me back? Is this a joke? What does Hajime have to do with any of this? Countless thoughts along these lines run through your head, and Tooru knows this. “We’ve both been pining over each other for months.”

His words process with high speeds as you pull back. He had loosened his grasp, but his hands remained on your sides as you both stared into each other's eyes. You search his for answers, while Tooru finds comfort in yours.

He laughs breathlessly once he can see your body relax, and he dips down to meet your lips. Tooru’s movements are fluid, moving both hands up to your jaw while tilting his head. You gasp once his soft lips meet yours. They taste like his dumb chapstick that he carries around everywhere.

Tooru takes it slow, moving at your pace while humming into the kiss. Pulling back after a few seconds, you lean forward to catch his lips before he detaches himself. Rubbing a thumb on your cheekbone, he flashes the most brilliant smile. In the year you’ve known him, this is the most genuine and beautiful thing you’ve ever seen him do, and you can see it in his eyes.

“Y/N,” his voice is ever so soft, gliding in the air from his lips to your ears. Tooru’s eyes hold nothing but adoration in them as you stare into each other's eyes. “I don’t want to be serious with anyone but you.”

The bright blush returns to your cheeks, the warmth between your two bodies rising exponentially. His thumb doesn’t stop moving across your cheekbones. He's in total bliss as nothing in the world could matter more than what was happening at this moment in your shared apartment.

You smile up at him and grab onto his hand that's stroking your face, and just hold it closer to your skin. After a light squeeze, you both shift positions to hug once more, Tooru's arms latching around your waist and yours around his neck.

"Thank you," he states, the world muffled from your hair as he has lodged himself in the crook of your neck.

"For what?" You mumble back, rubbing an arm up and down his neck.

A deep chuckle causes your body to rumble, and a soft breath cascades down your neck before he pressed feathery kisses behind your ear. They're lighter than air, but you can sense he's holding back a bit. "For not being upset with me, for putting up with me, for accepting me, for everything." His whispers are woven into your skin, goosebumps rising up and down your spine as he speaks.

You push yourself further into his chest, a silent affirmation that everything is okay and will be okay. He smiles as he continues to press his lips to your neck, humming in the silence.

After a few minutes more of embracing one another Tooru pulls away, hands grazing your hips as he stares deeply into your eyes. His chocolate iris’ swirl with several emotions as you take in the vulnerability. You have only known Tooru as the charming, flamboyant character he puts on around almost everyone else. Maybe once or twice in your year of living with him have you seen this side of him, in which he offers himself as he is, not as who he wants to be perceived as.

Tooru presses a quick kiss to your lips and puts some pressure on your hips, signalling he wants to move. You both relocate to the couch, where he traps you in his arms and lap.

“I’m curious,” you reposition to look up at him, but he chuckles at your wide and curious eyes. “How did you find out about my streams?” A teasing grin makes its way on to his lips and your brain short circuits.

“Uh.. about that…” You purse your lips, looking anywhere but him, embarrassed of the insinuation of your actions.

Tooru breath fans against your neck, his face dipping down into that crook once more while letting out a low laugh. Sparks fly between you two when his lips brush your ear. He whispers, “You’ve watched me, haven’t you?”

With lightning speed, you snap your face to match his, but he’s quick to recover the initial shock with a deep kiss. He cranes his neck to further the kiss, pulling at your bottom lip with his own. Still startled by his teasing, you give in easily to his antics and within seconds his tongue has entered your mouth.

A low growl escapes him all while you succumb to his movements. His hand snakes up your side, settling itself on your rib below your breast. Tooru rubs his thumb in that spot, but you are lost in his taste to feel his hand.

You start to move in sync with him, moving together and letting each other take the reigns. Oikawa adores your feisty spirit, and when it starts to show through your movements, it only excites him more. You explore his mouth with your tongue, and suck on his lower lip as he slowly moves his hand back down your sides to cup your ass.

Now that you’re in control of your actions, you feel his hand stop right above your butt, almost as if he’s asking permission, but you grab a hold of his wrist and shove it down. That hand lets go of his arm and down to the hem of his shirt. A few fingers make contact with his toned stomach, and he shivers at the cold sensation.

“Impatient much?” Tooru repositions you so you’re straddling him. You don’t break off the kiss and place your hands on either side of his face, the tips of his hair tickling your fingertips. His large hands grasp under your thighs as he hoists the both of you up and off of the couch. Hastily he moves down the hall and into your room, busting through the door and gently he places you down on the edge of your mattress.

You pull away, breathless and stare into his eyes once more. The tension in the room is thick, but warm and comforting. He smiles at the look in your eyes, knowing that you’re in no way anxious of what’s about to happen.

“Are you sure about this Y/N? We don’t have to do anything before the first date.” His smile is intoxicating, and he doesn’t want to pressure you in any way.

“I want you Tooru, I’m good,” this time you rub a thumb across his cheekbone in reassurance. Smiles on both of your faces, he dips back down to capture your lips and push you onto your back.

Your mattress is firm underneath you, the bed frame shifting under the weight of two people. The cold sheets scrunch under your back contrasting the warm embrace of Oikawa as he dips down on top of you, running a hand through your hair.

“Do you trust me?” He speaks while hovering over your body. You push yourself up to meet his lips, giving him a quick peck on the side of his mouth. “I’ll take that as a yes then.” You laugh and lay back down, pulling the front of his shirt to pull him down with you.

Tooru laughs into the kiss, pressing his chest into your own. All of his kisses are electrifying, the spark runs up and down your spine while you both like with one another.

You take the next step and tug at the hem of his shirt while wrapping your legs around his lower half. His skin raises in temperature but he follows suit, practically tearing the fabric off of himself. You watch Tooru get shirtless and fully take in his figure.

It's not like you haven't seen him like this, but this is the first time you've ever actually took a good, long look at Oikawa's figure (knowing it was him, at least). He works out regularly for volleyball and maintains a good diet, and it shows. His chest is firm when you place a hand on it, and his abs create a valley down his stomach.

As you feel him up and down, Tooru stares at your face as it scrunches curiously. "Like what you see cutie? It shouldn't be anything new."

You blush but smack his chest in retaliation. A low laugh escapes his lips, but he sneaks a hand to the bottom of your shirt, poking a few fingers into your stomach in a wordless question of what to do. You squirm in your position and he helps remove your shirt.

Arms cover your chest instantly as you realize you're wearing one of your older bras that isn't the most flattering thing on the planet.

Noticing the shift in tone, Tooru gently unfolds your arms. "None of that Y/N." You don't put up any resistance as he speaks sweet and salty worlds into your ear. His hands are coarse and rough, calloused from years of training but he untouched you with a softness, almost as if he was handling a dove.

He kisses your neck making his way down your chest while reaching underneath you, unclasping the bra and throwing it onto the floor.

With your breasts exposed, Oikawa pins your arms on either side and continues down your clavicle, down through the valley between your chest. You whimper when he suddenly takes one of your nipples into his mouth, gently biting and sucking of the soft bud.

Instinctually you squeeze your thighs together, but he stands between them and he hums into your breast, knowing you're starting to grow impatient. Tooru's other hand moves to the opposite breast, kneading it in his palm.

A soft moan escapes your lips and you roll your hips into his, shock waves of pleasure wrack your body while your cunt starts to throb.

Oikawa moves further down your stomach, reaching the button of your pants. He peers up at you, pupils dilated and hungry. You nod and lift your hips while he removes both the pants and panties you were wearing.

He stands at the edge of the bed, removing the rest of his clothes and let's his cock spring free. It's red at the tip, which reaches up to his abs from being hard.

Tooru’s hips meet yours, laying his long cock over your bare stomach while rubbing soft circles into your thighs. “Look at how deep I’m gonna be inside of you cutie.” A quiet whimper leaves your lips, wrapping your legs around his waist in a silent plea. His eyes burn into your skin.

“Tooru, please…” The desperation in your voice only spurs him on as he drinks you in, lying bare, begging for him. It’s everything he’s ever wanted, and his dick hardens further at the sound of your voice.

A switch flips in his brain once you swirl your hips, and a smirk pulls at his lips. He leans forward, pressing his body into your, getting dangerously close to your ear and fanning hot breath over your skin. Chills erupt from the sensation and make their way across your body, causing a whimper to involuntarily escape your mouth when his hot skin presses into your cold chest. “What do you want, Y/N?” Tooru’s voice is quiet, but the vibrations from his words have an effect on your body you thought wasn’t possible. He presses feathery kisses into the sweet skin on your neck, causing you to tilt your head.

“I want-” Your voice is breathless as you search for words. “I want you to-” Suddenly, he slips his dick in between your folds, slowly moving his hips up and down, getting himself ready with your slick. The electricity of his movements force a moan through your throat, Oikawa relishing in the sound of your voice as he uses his thumb moves to apply pressure on your clit.

Still breathing hot air onto your neck, he mumbles, “You want me to fuck you, is that it?” Your eyes shut as a thousand tiny confirmations leave your body, physical and not. He revels in the moment, realizing the control you both have over each other. He can’t help wanting more of you, all of you. Your aura is intoxicating, and Tooru feels drunk off of your presence.

“Please.” He continues grinding his length down your folds. “Just fuck me already.” Your voice is raspy, pleading for movement, connection, anything. Arms folding around his neck, you grind harder into his cock while he continues to rub the sensitive bud.

“So impatient.” His voice is dark, sultry and enticing. It draws you in, leaving you stunned and you can’t think straight anymore. “I bet you’ve wanted this. Watching me stream, you got to see all of me little cutie,” Tooru readjusts himself, placing the tip at your entrance, drawing circles with it. “Now I get to see all of you.”

He slowly pushes forward, letting his dick get sucked in to you as you cry out at the contact. Oikawa starts to lose himself at the feeling of your pussy when it twitches. His eyes never leave the sight of his cock disappearing into you.

You take a moment to breath as his hips lay flush with yours, but you take action and raise your hips. He hisses at the movement, not expecting you to set the pace so quickly.

Snapping out of it as you move your hips back, Tooru moans loudly and grabs one hip and leans over you, placing his other hand next to your face. His face gets inches in front of yours, matching your movements and leans in to take your lips once more.

His hips move back and forth, building up speed through both of you ravenous moans and whimpers. Through the sounds and movements, you feel his cock penetrate you with endless force, as if it fits perfectly inside of you.

You moan his name as Tooru pounds into you, scratching at his back from the waves of pleasure. Feeling you clench around him almost teasingly, the hand on your hip moves to your clit, and Oikawa starts to rub circles.

"Fuck Tooru!" You press your nails harder into his skin and he growls at the sensation. You can feel yourself getting close, the knot building larger with every second.

He pulls back from your lips and looks at your face. Your eyebrows are scrunched and your eyes are shut. The way his hips move is better than you could’ve imagined, even more sexual than his streams. Oikawa shifts his position to hit you deeper, his dick just barely hitting your cervix.

"I'm close," you mumble from bruised lips. He can’t hold himself back much longer and his thrusts become erratic. Tooru plants his lips on your ear, speaking a thousand words to you which you’re unable to hear. His thrusts and deep and fill you to the brim. The pleasure becomes too much for you to be able to focus and with one thrust you tense and the knot snaps.

He moans your name loudly when he feels your walls clench down on him. Swiftly, Tooru pulls out and finishes on your stomach, white ropes decorating your soft skin.

His head is still next to yours, but you’re both panting. It takes a few seconds for both of you to come back to your senses, but he prys himself up and off of you, looking down on his work. “You’re gorgeous Y/N, just fucking stunning.” He admires your glowing form while you stare at him, a smile adorning your features.

Oikawa moves first, placing another soft kiss to your lips before going to the bathroom for a warm towel. You lay in bed, just thinking about everything. How did I get here? You never thought that watching camboy porn would ever lead to you getting with the guy you’ve wanted for a while now, but if it works out then it works out you guess.

He returns a few moments later and cleans you up, throwing the rag with the rest of your clothes and climbs into the sheets, maneuvering you onto his chest where he cuddles you and runs a hand through your hair.

You close your eyes, breathing onto his bare chest and take in the beat of silence. You can’t see it, but Tooru looks down at you and smiles. You’re finally his. He can finally hold you in his arms and give you all the love he thinks you deserve. His heart swells at the notion, and makes a mental note to thank Iwaizumi later in general since he feels in a giving mood.

Oikawa feels your breath even out, your chest rising and falling in a slow pattern. Your senses are drifting from you, but you’re able to make out a few things before you pass out. Tooru places a kiss on the crown of your head, pressing his lips into your hair and he whispers something before you completely fall asleep.

“I love you Y/N.”

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arhvste · 3 years

Text

❛ haikyuu sibling series hcs - general - part 1 ❜

「 includes : kuroo, matsukawa, oikawa, and suna 」

kuroo tetsurō

→ his parents got divorced at a young age and you can’t tell me otherwise

→ but before they did, himself and his older sister were close

→ she wasn’t as boisterous as him but she had a bit of a playful streak in her too

→ would absolutely go along with his scheming pranks on their parents and relatives

→ shes the one who got him into taking academics seriously

→ he always thought his big sister was cool and seeing her studious trait, he decided he wanted to be like her too

→ she’d help him with his own homework after school even if he insisted he didn’t need her help

→ everytime he’d score highly on a test, his sister would be the first person he’d show his little gold stars too

→ her praise meant the absolute world to him because from a young age he looked up to her and seeked some sort of approval from her that he was on the right track

→ when the fighting between his parents got bad, big sister kuroo would always leave her door open for her little brother to retreat into her room

→ she would hush the crying and distract his young fragile state of mind and make sure she did everything she could to stop him from focusing on the shouting

→ stories, board games, colouring, big sister kuroo did it all with him to ensure his mind was occupied with something other than the arguing downstairs

→ she’s his hero even if he doesn’t know it at such a young age yet

→ shes the one who taught him the trick with sticking two pillows against his ears just in case there were some nights she wasn’t at home

→ “see tetsu! it’s like having your head buried by sheep!”

→ when their parents did eventually split, he was beyond devastated

→ his best friend was being taken from him and there was nothing he could do about it

→ pleaded his parents to let them stay together but alas they decided it just wasn’t possible

→ kuroo took a handful of years to fully get over the separation from his sibling

→ hence his shy tendancies and hesitation to trust others at a young age

→ even to this day, the pillow habit stays prominent in his sleeping habits

→ while he was no longer in contact with his sister, kuroo would always think of her first whenever he received good grades or test results

→ would think of her during volleyball games

→ a source of motivation would be to ask himself if maybe his sister were here, would he being doing enough to make her proud?

→ after every accomplishment, his sister would linger at the back of his head

→ even now everyday when he goes to work

→ he can only do his best and hope it would be enough to be ‘cool’ like he always thought his sister was

matsukawa issei

→ big brother mattsun 😼

→ growing up, he was so inclusive of his little siblings

→ he’d never tell his brother or sister to leave him alone or go away

→ mattsun was super considerate and laid back with his siblings

→ as long as they weren’t causing too much trouble, mattsun didn’t really care what they were doing

→ he played with them i know he did

→ hero’s and princesses? pirates? dragons and mermaids?

→ mattsuns played every single one of these and more

→ whenever his siblings would argue, they’d always argue over who gets mattsun on their side

→ whoever won him over was deemed the winner of whatever petty thing it was they were arguing about

→ this little shit played the fuck out of them 😹

→ “hm whoever gets me the leftover pasta from the fridge will get me on their side 😈”

→ “if you go empty the bin then i’ll be on your side.”

→ “issei that’s not fair! that’s your job!”

→ “is it? guess i have to join your sisters side then...”

→ “I’LL DO IT!”

→ makki woukd come over often and his brother and sister loved him

→ he was like mattsun but prettier and “less mean”

→ in fact, all the aoba johsai third years were popular with the matsukawa siblings

→ his little sister was ✨infactuated✨ with oikawa

→ oikawa was “her prince charming” according to her

→ “oi loser, since my sister likes you so much why don’t you babysit for me next week?”

→ “as if! i have better things to do any- -she likes me?! 🥺 yes of course i’ll babysit!”

→ his brother is the opposite tho haha

→ “stupid oikawa don’t come near my sister!”

→ little brother matsukawa was protective asf over his sister

→ would throw hands at the setters legs and waist

→ and you already know mattsun, makki and iwa are just gonna stand there and ignore it

→ all in all, mattsuns one of the best siblings

→ he looks out for his siblings but he’s not overbearing in the slightest

→ these days he often lets them visit him at work when he’s not as home as often

→ “whoever brings me lunch doesn’t get locked in the coffin room”

→ obviously his siblings are bigger now so they just roll their eyes and ignore him ahah

→ he’s still someone they know they can come to if they need to though

→ he’s a good big brother who will listen to them without judegement cause hey, he’s done some questionable things growing up too

oikawa tooru

→ “you’re not allowed to have a boyfriend because i said so! nobody’s good enough for you! 😠”

→ “tooru, i’m older than you 🧍🏻”

→ over protective asf over his sister

→ insults boys that try it on with her to their face 😹

→ “you don’t seriously think she’ll go for you when you look like that do you? 😹 next caller!”

→ shes constantly apologising for his rude ass behaviour 😩

→ he does often seek advice from her though

→ especially when he started garnering attention from girls himself

→ “hair swept to the left or right?”

→ “neither. both are ugly.”

→ yes queen humble him 😈

→ okay but she would actually help him though

→ shes act like shes doing him a huge favour but she secretly likes the fact he comes to her for advice and feedback

→ shopping trips

→ she picks out his clothes because let’s face it

→ he can’t be trusted to be left to his own devices

→ she nearly threw up when she saw the plaid shorts fit 😖

→ she also picked out his glasses too because again, he can’t be trusted to be left to his own devices

→ he hypes his sister tf up !!

→ especially after shes having boy troubles of her own

→ “whatever! he was a loser anyway nii-chan! he would’ve ruined all the family photos if you ever got married to him because he was so ugly! you’re way out of his league!”

→ third year oikawa says it’s on sight if any boy messes with his sister regardless of the fact she’s older than him

→ iwaizumi was rather fond of oikawa’s sister too

→ therefore, he’d automatically part of her body guarding system alongside tooru

→ growing up, iwaizumi was awkward around her

→ shes a pretty older girl of course he’s gonna feel pressured !!

→ she found it endearing though

→ and shes often thank him for looking out for her little brother and keeping him in line when she couldn’t

→ rip iwaizumi 😔✋the boy has turned bright red and doesn’t know what to say

→ these days he’s a-okay talking to her!

→ they both lovingly bully oikawa now

→ but back to the point of her helping him with girls

→ oikawa is not a fuckboy and you know why?

→ because his sister told him those boys are the worst !!

→ he is a respectful boy and his sister will make sure of that !!

→ when he did get his first girlfriend, she had to tell him all the things to do to help

→ clichè films were the wrong source according to her she called them cringey and stopped oikawa from leaving the house at 2am to throw rocks at his girlfriends window to confess his love

→ “tooru please tell me you’re not doing what i think you’re about to do”

→ oikawa with his bag full of small stones and a rose in his mouth : 😳🌹

→ his first break up was rough but big sister oikawa was his hype woman this time

→ “she knew what she was getting into when she asked you out. remember, she wanted you tooru and if she can’t remember that herself then she’s not worth it.”

→ big sister oikawa had his back 100% and vice versa

→ and even now, she’s cheering him on the loudest

→ her little brothers a little brat but he’s the brat she’s overwhelmingly proud of

suna rintarō

→ literally didn’t give a shit about his little sister for the longest time 😹

→ he knew it annoyed her when he didn’t pay attention so he did it just to test her limits at first

→ his parents scolded him time and time again and eventually he did start to acknowledge her

→ like mattsun, he’s laid back and not overly intrusive

→ but he is a little bit curious as to what’s going on in his little sisters life

→ “whos that? you’re not dating him are you? yikes.”

→ “rin? what do you mean ‘yikes’?!”

→ “he’s ugly.”

→ lowkey protective of his sister

→ he knows she can handle herself and whatnot but he still feels the need to look after her just a little

→ so if you’re a boy and you get on the wrong side of her i’m sorry

→ suna is pulling up with the miya’s

→ “oh? so you’re the little shit who thought you could mess with my sister?”

→ atsumu in towering over the boy next to suna : 😈

→ osamu towering over on the other side to suna : 🤨

→ suna : 😐

→ the boy : 😳

→ it’s always been like that though

→ in his own way, sunas always been there for his little sister whether he makes it known or not

→ “one day, yer sisters gonna be a pretty gal i can tell”

→ “i won’t hesitate to call child protection if you ever make a comment like that again 😐🔪”

→ “i-i was just tryin to be kind! it’s hard sometimes suna it’s hard! 😖”

→ his little sister will come to his games and he won’t care 😹

→ deadpan expression the whole time

→ she doesn’t care though because she’s not exactly thrilled to be there either

→ both siblings have their own interests and don’t tend to mix them

→ but he’ll still support her in whatever she wants to do and vice versa

→ but they prefer to do it from a distance

→ because i know suna only went to one of her ballet recitals and he didn’t even try to stop the strings of loud yawns the whole way through

→ the suna siblings remain hot and unbothered over everything

→ you could have beef with both siblings and neither of them are gonna give a fuck

→ but when you pick on little sister suna, rin is gonna give a fuck but he’ll be clever about it

→ easy going relationship

→ neither siblings are overly affectionate or overbearing but they’re both there for each other if needs be

→ they don’t talk about deep things and details together though

→ but they will slag other people off together 😹

→ if the suna siblings don’t like you i’m sorry

→ because both of them will come for your neck with no mercy and you’ll never know 😼

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @toffees-main @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @tsukkaria @kuxredere @warakou

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ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

#kuroo tetsuro #kuroo hcs #oikawa tooru #oikawa hcs #matsukawa issei #matsukawa hcs #suna rintaro #suna hcs #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#hq #hq hcs #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcanons

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nataliedanovelist · 4 years

Text

Meet the Pines

When ten-year-old Stanford Pines accidentally stumbles across a time machine, he then finds himself in the middle of a forest and somewhere he finally feels ta home.

For @persimmonpollywog, who inspired me to bring an idea to life.

~~~~~~~~~~

January 1960-something

Stanford held his jacket a little tighter around himself. It was chilly here in the wintry late-afternoon, but it was better being cold on the Stan O’ War than being warm at home. Here, no one called him a wimp. Here, no one saw him as a freak or a loser. Here, he was free to be as upset as he wanted to be. He didn’t want to cry, but if he couldn’t hold it in any longer than at least no one was around to see it.

Yesterday had been a bad day. Crampelter had cornered Stanford after school, while Stanley was busy talking to some girl, and eventually had the ten-year-old pinned to the cold concrete with a knee to his back, pulling his arm back and almost dislocating his shoulder until Stanley came and shoved the bully off his brother. All of the boxing lessons were starting to pay off as Stanley walked away with less scrapes and bruises than normal, but he still had to serve after-school detention today. The twins tried to hide their injuries on the way to the bathroom, but Ma saw them and knelt to look them over. Before Stanley and Stanford could convince their mother they were okay, Pa showed up and snapped, demanding if the boys had lost another fight and when they were going to quit getting their butts handed to them. Ma then stood and shouted at Pa and the two screamed at each other for what felt like forever while they fixed each other up with their first aid kit and spent the rest of the night in their room to avoid the fighting. No kid likes hearing their parents yell.

Stanford’s shoulder didn’t hurt as much anymore and the bruise on his back was still big and purple and black, but at least he could hide it. As much as Stanford tried to ignore it, even reading a book he normally would have enjoyed, the voices in his head kept on shouting at him.

“Dorks and losers!”

“FREAK!”

“When are you gonna stand up for yourself like a man?!”

“DON’T TOUCH ME!”

“Watch it, Six-Finger’s got the plague!”

“You’ll NEVER make any friends!”

Stanford closed his book, shut his eyes, took off his glasses, and scrubbed at his eyes with a fist and pinched the bridge of his button nose to try to compose himself. Stanford then used his blurry vision to look down at his birth defect. His vision became even worse when more tears formed, eventually making the boy buried his head in his arms and he quietly cried. Crampelter was right. Stanford was never going to make any friends. No one would ever want him around.

Okay, maybe Stanley did, but he wasn’t here right now, and how long it would be until Stanley decided he was tired of being made fun of? Stanford truly believed that Stanley was cool enough to make it on his own. He’d bet his chemistry set that if Stanley had never defended Stanford, never been his brother, he wouldn’t be made fun of as much as he was now. Sure, Stanley Pines messed up a bunch, but he was funny and smart in a way you can’t teach to somebody and girls seemed to like him. What was stopping him from getting any gal he wanted and being an all star boxer or a superhero? His freak of a twin. The mistake.

These thoughts plagued and poisoned Stanford, who let them flow and then leave him. While he didn’t disbelieve these bad thoughts anymore, they were no longer screaming at him, so he had the strength to go home. Maybe he’d feel better in his warm bed instead of the cold unfinished ship.

Stanford stood and smiled hopefully at the Stan O’ War. Last summer, right after the boys had turned ten, they had found the shipwreck sailboat in a cave and took it as their anchor for a better future.

“One of these days, you and me are gonna sail away from this dumb town. We’ll hunt for treasure, get all the girls, and be an unstoppable team of adventurers.”

Stanford carried that message with him nearly every day, and he doubted the day would come when he stopped. He picked up his backpack and started on the walk for home. The wind howled, making Stanford shiver, and he picked up the pace. He wished summer would get here, he didn’t like the cold. Something on the sidewalk in town nearly made Stanford trip, but he caught himself in time and turned to see what it was.

The boy raised an eyebrow to find a tape measure. It was black and yellow and had two weird triangles on it. “Huh. I don’t recognize that company.” He muttered to himself as he picked up the measurer. He pulled on the tape, as children will with these types of tape measures, and he realized too late that it didn’t read inches and centimetres; it read years, but Stanford had already released the tape and then he was gone with a flash.

~~~~~~~~~~

May 2016

After the flash was gone, one of the first things Stanford noticed was that he was warm. Really warm. And something was crackling behind him and smelled like burning fabric. Stanford threw off his backpack and stomped on it until the little fire went out. Once that panic was gone, new panic came as he realized he was in the middle of some woods. He had never been in the forest before, except for the little patches by the ravine, but the ravine was dangerous and only for stupid teenagers, so Stanford didn’t go there if he could help it.

Once he knew he was safe, he looked down at the tape measure. “What the heck is this thing?” He asked himself as he cautiously pulled out the tape. It read measurements of time instead of measurements of space. He slowly let the tape back in the machine and put it in his jacket’s pocket, deciding it would be best to try to figure this weird tape measure out later. More importantly, when was he?

Stanford looked around the fellow pines he was surrounded by and he smiled at the peaceful smell. It reminded him of the holidays and when Christmas trees would be up for sale at the park. Stanford understood his family didn’t celebrate Christmas, and he was fine with instead celebrating a holiday that lasted seven days, but he wished just once they would bring a pinetree into their house just to make all the rooms smell nice. Stanford could hear birds, for once not choking on glass or honking. They either tweeted or knocked on wood. Here, in the quiet and in the warmth, Stanford felt much better than he did five minutes ago, despite being in a strange setting and far away from home.

Stanford thought he could hear the vague sound of a car, and so the boy hurriedly followed him to it. Where there was a vehicle there was probably a town. Stanford saw a dirt road and watched as a car drove one way. He could follow it, but when he looked toward where the car had come from, he could have sworn he saw a wooden structure of some sort through the trees. Stanford emerged from the woods and walked alongside the road.

“Okay, the tape measure had been set to forward.” Stanford thought out-loud to himself to try to think clearly. “And if there’s cars, I’m definitely in the future, but how far? I didn’t see how many years ahead it sent me. Maybe I’ll finally meet a robot!”

As Stanford walked along the old road, it became clear to him that either he hadn’t time traveled that far into the future or he was somewhere considered “old” by this time’s standards. Stanford awed happily at an old cabin with a triangular roof with a big sign that read “Mystery Shack”, but the S was on the grass. There was a goat munching on a tin can and it looked at Stanford with it’s weird yellow eyes, but Stanford grinned at the goat and carried on his way.

“What is this place?” He asked himself. “Some kind of haunted house?” The word “Mystery” was enough to lure him towards the building and he saw a door with a sign that read “gift shop,” so Stanford decided to check that place out first.

A bell greeted him and Stanford smiled at the little shop. A pretty lady with a hat and a green question-mark t-shirt was at the cash register, helping an old lady buy a keychain with a spaceship on it. Stanford grinned as more and more things were his taste. There were baseball caps with pinetrees, question marks everywhere, some kind of Aztec wheel in the back, a monkey-fish - no! A Mer-key! - in a tank, and newspapers and magazines full of supernatural evidence. Stanford grinned and took a newspaper with a UFO on the front and opened it.

Before Stanford was too sucked into the story of the alien-sighting in Wyoming, he could hear the lady at the cash register groan and say to the old woman, “I’m sorry, ma’am, this drawer is always getting stuck. Here, let’s see if my husband has any change for you.” And they walked through a door with red curtains.

Stanford looked at the register. It looks pretty close to the one at Pa’s shop. Curious, Stanford sat the paper down and went over to the drawer. There was a toolbox open by the vending machine, so he borrowed a red screwdriver and pulled a flashlight out from his jacket and got to work to try to fix the cash register.

He found the clip that wasn’t releasing and managed to temporarily open the drawer, but the issue was, for the time being, you needed the screwdriver every time you wanted to open the drawer, so Stanford unscrewed some screws to look at the drawer’s workings and he patiently fixed the clip so it was hooked the way it should be. Stanford smiled proudly at himself, happy to help that lady, and he put the drawer back together and closed it with a little ding.

“Whatcha doin’, dawg?”

Stanford jumped a foot in the air and looked up to find the lady back with a big man beside her, the big man standing in Stanford’s way of leaving the counter. He was a chubby guy and reminded Ford of a gopher. He had a red fez with a golden crescent (kinda like Pa’s if Stanford was being honest) and he wore a suit and an eyepatch.��

Stanford was shaking as he realized how bad it looked to have some kid standing by the cash; if this was Pa’s store he would have called the police. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I just wanted to fix your drawer, I’m sorry!” Stanford yelped and sat the screwdriver down on the counter and shoved his hands in his pockets; he didn’t want this big man to think he was stealing anything, cash or tools.

“Whoa, whoa,” The big guy said and with his hands up to stop him. He was smiling nicely at Stanford and he slowly began to calm down. “It’s okay, dude, I get it. You’re not in trouble. Now let’s see if you fixed this old girl.”

The big guy reached over to the register and pressed a button. The drawer slid open gracefully, making the lady and the big guy grin. “Wow. I’ve never seen that thing work so well.” The lady said.

“Me neither, and I’ve been here for fifteen years!” The big guy patted Stanford’s shoulder. “You did a good job, dude. I’m impressed.”

Stanford’s face suddenly felt really hot, like the kind of hot it gets when someone points out his six fingers, but his gut wasn’t squirming around in the usual bad way. And Stanford found it hard not to smile. “Th-Thank you.”

“Thank you,” The big guy said with a grin. “What do I owe you for a job well done?”

Stanford stared at the big guy, wondering if he was joking, but the big guy and the lady just smiled at him and suddenly he noticed how empty his stomach felt. “Can I have a snack?” And he pointed to the vending machine.

The big guy grinned and nodded. “Sure, dude! Hungry?” Right on cue, Stanford’s stomach growled. He held his jacket tighter around himself and blushed, but the big guy and lady just chucked.

“No wonder, it’s almost lunchtime.” The lady pointed out as her watch told her it was almost one.

“Well, hey, Abuelita would love some more mouths to feed.” The big guy said and asked Stanford, “Why don’t you ask your folks if you can join us for lunch?”

“My parents aren’t here.” Stanford said, unable to believe what was happening in front of him. “It’s just me.”

“Oh. Well, wanna stay for lunch?” The big guy offered nicely. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but we’d love to have you…”

“Yes, please!” Stanford answered happily. “Sounds like fun!”

“Sweet!” The big guy dipped his fez to the boy and said, “Mr. Mystery at your service, little dude! But you can call me Soos! This here my wife, Melody. Want a tour of the Mystery Shack before lunch?”

“Sure!” Stanford even pulled out his notepad and pencil from his jacket and held it ready for note taking.

Soos laughed, grabbed an eight-ball cane, and led the way through the doorway with red curtains. Stanford was amazed to find a little museum full of odd stuff! Left and right there were strange anomalies and attractions that were just the coolest! Stanford had only seen stuff like this in his dreams, and now it was all here in front of him.

Soos cleared his throat and declared, “Dear gentleman! Looking around my Mystery Shack, you’ll see many wondrous befuddlement, unlike anything you have ever seen before! Feast your eyes, on the dangerously adorable Unicat!” And he gestured to a fluffy orange tabby with a unicorn’s corn tied to it’s head. The kitty was sleeping on a fluffy cat’s bed and Stanford grinned and began to sketch it.

“Now beware, tourist, not only could this guy make you sneeze, Mr. Wiggles is so adorable he can literally bend you to his will.” Mr. Mystery warned with wiggling fingers. “One minute he’s purring in your hand and the next he’s biting your hand, but don’t worry, just give him a treat and he’ll be putty in your hands, dawg.” Soos pulled out a bag from his suit and asked, “Wanna give the Unicat a treat?”

Stanford grinned and happily let Soos shake a treat onto his palm. Mr. Wiggles woke up and sat patiently on the bed. Stanford gave it to him and scratched Mr. Wiggles under his chin while the kitty munch on his treat and purred. Then he was ready for his nap again.

“Up next, I give you a rare picture of a horse riding another horse!”

The whole thirty-minute tour Soos amazed Stanford with the Rock That Looks Like a Face, London Bridge made out of popsicle sticks, other strange photos and articles framed on the walls, and finally the good ole Sascrotch. Stanford attentively asked questions and Soos happily answered all of them.

This little guy was reminding Soos of a younger version of himself more and more. He was helpful and nice and kinda shy and quiet, but Soos could tell this dude was special. Soos wondered if Mr. Pines felt this way about him when he first came to the Mystery Shack.

Melody eventually called Soos and Stanford in for lunch and Stanford let Soos put a hand on his shoulder and led him through the “Employees Only” door. Stanford was surprised to find what appeared to be a house. Not that he was too surprised, Stanford’s family lived above their shop, but still. It looked like a really nice place to live. He had always wanted to live in a cabin! “Wow, you have a really nice house.”

“Thanks, dawg.” Soos patted his shoulder and pointed towards the kitchen. “Mm. Smells like Abuelita made tamales!”

Melody was fixing glasses of water while Abuelita stirred a pot. Stanford smiled at the old lady in an apron with soft old-lady skin. She smiled and shuffled over to the boy. “Aye! ¡Qué niño tan dulce! Hola, niño! Look at you! So thin! You must be hungry.” She cooed and made Stanford sit at the table so she could pile his plate high with rice, beans, and tamales. “Here, eat up.”

Stanford didn’t know much Spanish, but he did know one phrase. “Muchas gracias, señora!”

Ma was a great cook, but she didn’t look much Mexican. There was a taco place that was okay, but this was real Mexican food and it tasted so good! Stanford, who hadn’t eaten since lunch, was starving and happily cleaned his plate while he listened to Melody and Soos talk about work and their plan for the day. They occasionally asked Stanford something and let him talk, but Stanford was happy to quietly eat and the grown-ups respected that.

“Oh, you’re a twig, niño,” Abuelita commented as she carried the plate full of tamales over to him and gave him another. “Here, have some more.”

“No, gracias.” Stanford said politely, making sure to say thank you.

“I asked if you would like more tamales.” Abuelita said with a bit of a scary voice and a stern look. One glance at Soos and Stanford saw him smile and nod his head, advising to accept the food.

“Uh… si?”

“That’s what I thought you said.” Abuelita said happily and gladly piled four more tamales on poor Stanford’s plate.

A few minutes later, a door opened in the distance and a voice called teasingly, “‘Sup, Mr. Ramierez!”

“In the kitchen, Wendy!” Soos called back.

“Aw man, Dipper and Mabel not here yet?”

“No, bus doesn’t get here for a few more hours.”

“Dang it.”

Stanford looked at the doorway and his jaw dropped. A very pretty red-headed girl with freckles, a blue flannel, and one of those pinetree hats, stood with jeans and hiking boots. Stanford was kinda reminded of Stanley; they both gave off an atmosphere of confidence and bigger-than-what-you-expect attitude. Wendy looked at the new guy and smiled. “Great, did you two kidnap some kid?”

Soos laughed and ruffled his fluffy brown hair. “Nope! This little dude helped fix the cash register.”

“Oh, new handyman, huh?” Wendy asked as she stole a tamale off his plate and leaned against his chair.

“Well,” Soos shrugged and smiled at Stanford. “If he wants the job, sure.”

“Wait, really?” Stanford asked. “You want me as a handyman?”

“Sure! Why not? You know how to fix a golf cart?”

“Well, I don’t know if I…”

“Boom!” Soos threw a random question-mark staff t-shirt at his face and announced happily, “You’re hired! One size fits all, dawg! The golf cart’s okay for the most part, but it’s not quite charging right. Think you can look at the battery or the charger?”

“Oh,” Stanford was having a hard time taking this in. First these guys actually liked him, and now they wanted him to stay and work?! He grinned from ear-to-ear with shiny brown eyes, hopped off his chair, slipped off his jacket, and changed shirts as quickly as possible so he could put his jacket back on over his staff t-shirt. “Okay!”

“What’s your name, anyway?” Wendy asked as he patted his hard enough on the back that he went “oof.”

Stanford opened his mouth, but hesitated. If he was going to stay here, some time-cops might come looking for him. Or he might mess up the time-space continuum more than he has. But what if it was always supposed to be this way? What if Stanford Pines went missing and was never found again? What if somewhere there was an unsolved report of a missing boy that no one missed? What if Stanford had found that tape measure for a reason? Deciding to play it safe and making up his mind to start over and stay, Stanford quickly answered with, “Phil.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The golf cart was easy to find. Stanford popped the hood and saw the battery. It was a bit too advanced, not because of the technology, but because Stanford is only ten and had never fiddled with a car battery before, but he knew enough about batteries as a whole to teach himself what to do. It turned out the goat had chewed on the cord so sometimes the battery would receive charge, sometimes it wouldn’t, so all Stanford had to do was fix it with special black tape.

After that, Stanford went inside to see if anything needed to be fixed or to ask Soos what he wanted him to do, when he caught a glimpse of someone climbing up a ladder. Curious, Stanford climbed up and opened a little door to find Wendy up on the roof and sitting in a lawn chair.

“Whoa, what is this place?” He asked.

Wendy smiled with a soda in her hand and said, “Just my hang-out. Great place to come to hide from work. Wanna a soda, bud?”

“Sure, thanks.” Stanford smiled to see that familiar Pitt soda now in a can. Really weird, considering he was used to bottles, but he knew how to open a can and found he didn’t mind the change in containers for his drink.

“So, Phil,” Wendy said casually. “If you could go anywhere in the world, where and why?”

Stanford sat on the roof with his feet dangling off the edge. “I don’t know. I want to travel the world. I want to see it all.”

“An adventurer, I like your moxie, kid.” Wendy said. “Gravity Falls is alright, but I wanna go see a big city, like New York or even just San Francisco.”

“I’ve been to New York.” Stanford shared. It was true; the Big Apple was only an hour drive (two if there was bad traffic) from Glass Shard. “I wouldn’t want to live there, but it’s a nice place to visit. Lots of museums and historical records…”

Wendy laughed and shook her head. “You’d like my friend Dipper. He’s a nerd, too.”

Stanford’s cheeks turned red, happy that this pretty girl seemed to like him. Not that he ever had a chance with her! She was eighteen and he was ten. “Who’s Dipper?”

“My best friend.” Wendy said proudly. “He might be a nerd, but he’s also, like, the coolest guy I’ve ever met. A good friend, too. Hey, you’ll actually get to meet him today! He and his sister Mabel are coming to spend the summer and they’re supposed to get here some point today.”

“Cool! I’m excited to meet them. I don’t have any friends back home.” Stanford let slip.

“Well, you’ve got some now.” Wendy reassured the kid and lightly punched his shoulder.

Stanford punched back as he laughed and he then asked, “So, what’s your favorite type of snack food?”

“Oh man, I can’t just pick one. Popcorn’s a big one. Really, anything salty. You?”

“Does jelly beans count or is that a candy?”

“Naw, man, that’s a snack food.”

“Jelly beans it is, then!”

“Phil! The portable toilets are clogged!” Soos called from inside the shack.

Stanford took a minute to register who his new boss was talking to and then sighed and stood up. “Back to work.”

“Later, dork.” Wendy said with a wink and Stanford climbed down with a dorky smile.

The red head sighed happily as a breeze drifted by, free from having to make-up an excuse as to why she can’t attend to the bathrooms, and she sipped her soda and watched the sun slowly sink. A little while after Phil left, Wendy heard the familiar roar of a bus and saw it pull up to the tourist trap, but instead of a small group of tourists spilling out, two teenagers walked out with their arms full of luggage and a pig at their feet.

“YES!” Wendy stomped her boots on the roof and yelled, “THEY’RE HERE! DIPPER! MABEL!” Using her trusty pinetrees, Wendy climbed down and ran to her favorite pair of twins and hugged them. “I’ve missed you, you weirdos!”

“Aw, Wendy!” Mabel cooed.

“We’ve missed you, too.” Dipper assured her and the hug ended so they could look at each other properly.

Dipper had hit a growth spurt since last summer and was now an inch or two taller than Mabel. He wore an opened blue flannel over his orange t-shirt with his jeans and Wendy’s borrowed hat. As tradition, Wendy swapped Dipper’s pinetree hat for her fur cap back and they high-fived when Dipper fixed his cap so it didn’t cover his eyes. Mabel still wore her sweaters and skirts, but now her hair was only shoulder-length and her braces were long-gone. Today she wore her yellow “Hug Me” sweater with a pink skirt and headband to match.

“Wow, you guys look great!” Wendy complimented. She noticed Waddles making his way to Gompers and them falling asleep on the porch with the goat.

“Thanks,” Dipper said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Can you believe we’re the same age as you when we met?”

“I know, right?! It’s so weird!”

“DUDES!” Mabel and Dipper braced themselves as a heavy man swept them up into his arms and squeezed so hard their faces turned blue. “I missed you two so much! I’ve got a bunch of new attractions to show you and fun stuff to do this summer! This’ll be the best one yet!”

“Soos, can’t breathe.” Dipper wheezed.

“Who cares?” Mabel said hoarsely. “Anything for a Soos-hug.”

Soos finally managed to let them go and he grabbed their suitcases for them. “Here, let me help you dawgs get settled in your room. You’re still cool with sharing with your grunkles, right?”

“Always are.” Mabel reassured him. With Melody and Soos in Ford’s old room and Abuelita in Stan’s old room, that only left the attic for guests, so every summer when the Pines family came home they had to share, but with two pairs of bunk beds and plants of woods for some alone time during the day, it was comfortable enough for the summer. Besides, it was a good way to make up for lost time during the fall, winter, and spring.

As Soos, Wendy, Dipper and Mabel went into the house by the back door, Mr. Mystery called out, “Hey, Phil! C’mere, there’s some dudes I want you to meet!”

“Who’s Phil?” Dipper asked.

“My new handyman!” Soos said proudly as he sat the suitcases on the stairs for a few minutes. “Really smart dude, fixed the cash register and the golf cart already!”

“Aw, you have your own wittle Soos!” Mabel exclaimed with rosy cheeks and bright eyes. “Well I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Yeah, he’s kind of a nerd like you, Dip-Dip.” Wendy added as she elbowed him.

“Well how long has he been working here?” Dipper asked.

“Just today.” Soos answered. “I really like him. I think he’ll end up being a member of the family soon enough.”

“Sorry, Mr. Mystery,” A voice called from outside. “I only got one toilet unclogged, but I’ll clean the others!”

“It’s okay, dawg,” Soos hollered back.

The door opened and the ten-year-old looked around. “You wanted to see me, sir?”

Dipper and Mabel dumbfounded. It was like seeing a cartoon character come to life. That little sunburnt boy in all those childhood photos Ma Pines and their grunkles had shown them was now right here in front of them in a Mystery Shack staff t-shirt and brown jacket, smiling at the little gang. He cocked his head and looked curiously at the teenagers, who were looking at him like he had lobsters crawling out of his ears. Embarrassed, Stanford’s face turned red and he hid his hands behind his back.

“Yeah, Phil, this here is Dipper and Mabel!” Soos introduced, writing off the twins’ reaction as shocked by the boy’s cuteness and Phil’s quietness as shyness from meeting new people. “Dudes, this here Phil! If you need something that needs fixin’, just go to this guy right here.” And Soos ruffled his hair playfully, making Stanford feel better and smile with his blush still intact.

“Uh… nice to meet you.” Dipper muttered.

“OH MY GOSH!” Mabel ran up to Stanford and scooped him up into a hug. “You’re SO CUTE! Who’s a wittle guy, who’s a wittle guy?! Is it you, is it you?” She cooed and hugged him tightly and combed his hair with her fingers.

“Whoa, hey!” Stanford squirmed a little bit but slowly stopped fighting. He had never been swallowed with so much hugs before and kinda liked it. “N-Nice to meet you. I like you. You’re weird.”

“Great,” Dipper said slowly and moved towards his sister to grab her arm. “So why don’t we get to know Phil somewhere else.” And he dragged them off somewhere else.

Wendy looked at Soos curiously and asked, “What was that all about?”

Soos shrugged and picked up the suitcases to take them upstairs. “Teens are crazy.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford was engulfed in darkness until a bright light was turned on by a pull of a metal string. The boy blinked his eyes to adjust to the light and found he was in some sort of small, dark, cramped space with the two teenagers in front of him, side by side. The girl, Mabel, was grinning really big, but the boy, Dipper, had his arms crossed over his chest and looked both stern and worried. They both somewhat looked familiar to Stanford, but he couldn’t figure out why.

“Alright, what are you doing?!” Dipper hissed at Stanford. “How did you even get here? And where’s the time machine?!”

The idea of playing dumb wasn’t going to work, Stanford realized, as he paled a sheet and swallowed nervously. “You… You know I’m from the past?”

“Yes, we do, Stanford Pines.” Dipper said firmly, making Stanford shiver.

Mabel noticed this and thought her brother was being too harsh, so she slipped in, “But we’re really happy to see you, Ford!”

“But what you’re doing is really dangerous.” Dipper warned in a calmer tone. “By missing in the past you’re jeopardizing the future.”

“You don’t understand.” Stanford insisted. “No one back home will miss me. I’m a nobody in the past, but here people actually like me. Why can’t I stay?”

“Now wait a minute,” Mabel said gently and put a hand on one of his shoulders. “You really think Stan won’t miss you?”

Stanford froze at that. The idea of Stanley all alone made his chest ache, but he shook his head and looked away from the teenagers before him. “He’s better off without me.” He mumbled.

“No he’s not.”

“Yes…”

“No, he’s not.” Dipper insisted and sat on a box to be eye-level with Stanford. “Listen to me, I don’t know if you noticed this or not, kid, but we’re twins, too. We understand more than you think we do. Sometimes you think you’re not good enough and sometimes you think it’ll be better for both of you if you went your separate ways, but… but family sticks together, no matter what. It doesn’t matter if it’s a twin or a parent or just a really good friend, one day you’re gonna realize how much you need your family and I really really hope for you it’s not before it’s too late.”

Stanford, frustrated that he didn’t have a good comeback, decided to turn the tables. “Now, wait a minute, how did you even know I was from the past? And how did you know about Stanley?”

Dipper and Mabel exchanged uneasy facial expressions and Mabel then said to Stanford, “Look, Ford, please. You have to trust us. I know things are hard for you right now, but things will get better…”

Stanford scowled at that. They weren’t listening! They just didn’t understand! “You don’t know that! You don’t know what I’ve been through! I’m a nobody in the past, I’m a freak in the past!” And he even held a hand out to their faces so they could see his six fingers. With tears in his eyes, the boy yelled, “This is the one place I feel at home, and I won’t let you take that away from me!” And with that, Stanford pulled the time machine out of his pocket, threw it on the floor, and smashed it with his sneakered foot.

“Stanford!” Mabel scolded.

“What did you do?!” Dipper yelled as he got on his knees and began to scoop up the broken pieces.

Stanford spun around, opened the closet, and left without another word.

“We should’ve told him we were family.” Mabel said quietly.

“No,” Dipper snapped as he stood up and exited the closest with his sister. “If he found out it could mess up our present. We need to try to get him to go back to Glass Shard.”

“All while keeping it a secret that we’re Pines, too, and also keeping it a secret that Phil is baby Ford?” Mabel clarified and rubbed her forehead. “And you do realize we’ve got until tonight when Grunkle Stan and Ford come home and will definitely recognize him?”

“I know.” Dipper sighed. “I’ll work on fixing the time machine. You’re better with people, you try to convince Ford to go back to his own time.”

“You got it, Dippin’ Sauce.” Mabel said and went off to try to find her wittle uncle.

Stanford was true to his word and went straight to finish unclogging the toilets, so that kept Mabel away from the most part and she got distracted catching up with Wendy. As the sun got lower into the sky, Dipper sat on his bottom bunk and fixed the time machine, meanwhile Mabel had to try to earn Stanford’s trust, but the little guy was doing a good job of avoiding her.

Time was running out, and after Stanford raked the yard, cleaned the gutters, washed Soos’ truck, and a bunch of probably unnecessary chores just to keep him busy, Soos proudly patted Stanford’s back and said, “Good job, little dude! You can go home now.”

“Oh,” Stanford rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. “Uh, are you sure there’s nothing else I can do, sir. M-Maybe I can sweep or…”

Soos raised an eyebrow, picking up how sweaty and nervous the kid was about going home, and he smiled gently. “Hey, I get it. I’m not kicking you out or anything. If you wanna stay, stay as long as you want. Heck, you can spend the night if you want to. The couch is always here.”

Stanford smiled up at his new boss. “Thank you so much, Mr. Mystery.”

“Hey, you can just call me Soos.” He offered. “And if you need to talk, I’m here for you, dude.”

Stanford nodded. “Okay.”

Mabel pulled out all the stops. She laid a bunch of arts n’ crafts stuff laid out on the card table and she stopped Stanford as he passed the living room. “Hey, S-Phil! Wanna make some puppets with me?”

“Oh boy, you’re not hungover some puppet-boy again, are you?” Wendy asked as she entered the room, oblivious to Stanford’s scowl.

“Haha! Nope!” Mabel said as Wendy sat with her. “Just felt like setting the arts n’ crafts master free tonight! Whaddya say, Phil? Wanna get in on this? We could make hand-turkeys, or finger-puppets, or paint our nails?”

“No, thanks.” The boy said coldly.

“Aw, come on.” Wendy teased and laid her hands out on the table. “Here, Mabel, I’ve been meaning to do my nails, mind fixing me up?”

“You bet, sister!”

Stanford stomped off angrily, but Mabel somehow managed to stay focused and she left Wendy, confused and alone at the table, so she could go after him. “St… Phil, wait! Let’s just talk.”

“Talk about what?” Stanford snapped and turned back to look at her angrily. “You’re trying to get rid of me! Why would you wanna talk to me if you don’t like me?”

Mabel gasped and covered her mouth. Stanford was so confused, having no idea why she suddenly looked so sad and hurt, and she sunk to her knees and put a hand on each of his shoulders. “That’s not true, Ford.” She whispered quietly. “Not only do I like you, but I love you. We all do. Which is why you have to go back to the past.”

Stanford blinked with surprise at finding Mabel looking so sad. It hurt more than he thought it would. And there it was again, that feeling like they had met before. She just looked so familiar… “But I don’t wanna go back.” Ford tried to explain yet again. “Why should I go back?”

“Cuz if you don’t the entire timeline could change.” Mabel stressed as calmly as she could, but she was failing, her arms trembling. “I can’t tell you too much, but… but by being here instead of your own time, you’re not doing things that’ll shape today. You have no idea what could happen, none of us do, but that’s what’s so scary.”

“Oh, come on, what could I do that’s so important it messes with time?” Stanford dared to ask.

Mabel opened her mouth and closed a few times, like a fish out of water, but with no explanation, Stanford shrugged her hands off of him and turned to the door. He tried to slam it to make it clear to Mabel he wanted to be alone, but in his fury he had stupidly closed the door with his right hand still on it, crushing his fingers.

“OW!”

It was a painful door jam, the kind that made your eyes water and made you wonder for a second if your hand was broken. Stanford held his hand by the wrist as his hand immediately swelled and looked red. Mabel covered her mouth again and got on one knee in front of him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Let me see…”

“Whao, what happened?” Soos asked as he and Melody emerged from the kitchen and Wendy came out of the living room.

“S-Phil closed the door on his hand.” Mabel said as Stanford held his hand close to his chest and hid it with his uninjured hand.

“Aw, poor dude.” Soos went up to him and held out a sweet hand. “Here, lemme see it.”

“N-No!” Stanford stuttered. And took a step back, now being on the porch with everyone else inside. “It’s fine, I’m okay.”

“Don’t be afraid, Phil, just lemme take a look at it.” Soos said as he fixed his eyes, trying to see past the uninjured hand at the hurt hand, but then his eyes widened. No, he must have miss counted. No, he didn’t have… “Phil, lemme see.” He said firmly.

“No!” But Stanford was too slow and Soos had grabbed his hands as gently as he could and held the hurt hand, not only to check if it was broken, but to count his fingers. Suddenly a lot of things were clicking in Soos’ head and he felt like a big dummy dumb for not noticing who this little dude was sooner.

Soos, Melody, and Wendy gasped, making Stanford’s eyes sting. He blinked to make the stinging go away; he should be used to that kind of reaction. He yanked his hand out of Soos’ grasp and shoved both hands in his pockets.

“Dude!” Soos gasped, looking horrified. “Wh-Why didn’t you tell me?! I can’t believe…”

“Who cares?” Stanford asked, not looking at any of them. “It’s just a stupid birth defect.”

“No, I mean why didn’t you tell me you were Stanford Pines?!”

That got him to look up, terrified, and he saw the three shocked faces and the sad one Mabel wore. “But… But…”

“Sweet Paul Bunyan.” Wendy gasped. “It’s really him…”

“I thought you seemed familiar, but I just thought you were a lot like me!” Soos yelled in shock as he held his head. “But it turns out you were a lot like Dr. Pines?! MY MIND! It’S EXPLODED!”

It was slowly sinking in that these guys didn’t care that he had polydactyly; they cared that he was from the past, and apparently his older-self knew everyone here. Was that why Mabel and Dipper freaked out so much? “Wait, you… do you know me?”

Soos stared at Stanford in complete shock. “Of course we know you, dude! You’re…”

“Our friend!” Mabel interrupted. “A really good friend!”

“Yeah, man.” Wendy backed up. “Look, you’re a really great kid, but…”

“But you need to go back home.” Melody finished for her.

Stanford’s whole world was shaking. “Wh-What?! But you…”

“I know,” Soos said and got on one knee to be closer to his eye-level. “But… Dr… F-F-Ford, you’re… you’re a great kid, and we’d never do anything to hurt you, but you have to go back.”

The poor boy’s chest was suddenly feeling really heavy. His eyes were stinging again. He scowled angrily. He desperately didn’t want to go back home, but what was the point of staying here if no one wanted him around? “I thought you guys were my friends.” He croaked, unable to keep his emotions out of his voice.

“Stanford,” Mabel took a step forward, desperately wanting to hug him but she was treating him like a scared animal who would run off at the sight of too much movement. “We are your friends, but you have to trust us…”

Stanford squeezed his eyes shut and darted around for the woods, planning to just run and run until no one could find him, but something he didn’t see stood in his way and made Stanford fall flat on the grass, barely a foot away from the porch. Mabel, Wendy, Melody and Soos all hurried onto the porch and simultaneously gasped. Dipper came out with the fixed tape measure in hand and announced proudly, “Okay, I’ve fixed the time machine and - what the HECK is going on here?!”

Stanford had bumped into whatever he had hit so hard his glasses were skewed, but when he fixed them he marveled at who stood before him. A tall guy with a round gut, a brown coat over a t-shirt and worn jeans with boots, and a red beanie looked down at him. His gray hair passed his shoulders by an inch and he looked so much like Pa, but the sparkle in his brown eyes and the way he looked completely confused but took everything with a grain of salt was something Stanford could recognize anywhere. He didn’t even question it.

He hadn’t realized how much he had missed his twin until he was standing right in front of him. Who cares if he was old? With a trembling lip and wet matching eyes, Stanford lunged into Stan’s legs and hugged him tightly, burying his face in his jeans, the top of his head just barely reaching his hip.

“Whoa there,” Stan’s gravelly voice was strange to Stanford, but his strong hands still hugged him in return and rubbed circles into his back. “It’s alright there, Sixer. You’re okay. You care to explain what’s going on here, Poindexter?”

It sounded like Stan was no longer talking to Stanford. He wiped his button nose and eyes and barely let Stan go, just enough to look up at someone who was standing next to Stan. Stanford almost screamed, but he bit his lip in time. He didn’t need to look at this man’s hand to know who he was. He had Stanford’s fluffy hair, though gray with a light streak around it, he had Stanford’s cleft chin, and while this man also looked like Pa, there was only one person who could resemble Stan that much.

“Incredible,” Ford awed and pulled out a green journal from his blue coat and opened it. Like Stan, he also wore blue jeans and boots, but he had a red turtleneck under his blue coat from the looks of it. “I thought I had another year or two…”

“Did you clone yourself, you weirdo?” Stan asked.

“What, no! Of course not!” Ford laughed.

“Oh, this is that shapeshifter dude you were telling me about.”

“No, Stanley, it’s really me.” Ford knelt as he looked at Stanford, who still clung onto Stan’s leg tightly like it was a life preserver in the middle of an ocean. “Over fifty years ago I came across a tape measure while you were serving detention that transported me from Glass Shard to this place. Is that what happened to you?” He asked his younger self.

Stanford nodded. Ford smiled at him kindly and Stanford managed to smile back. He looked up at Stan and squeaked as timid as a mouse, “Is… Is that really you, Stanley?”

Stan chuckled and patted his shoulder. Did his brother always used to be so cute? “Yeah, kid, it’s me. Holy Moses, would you look at this little guy. You look just as I remember you, Stanford. Except not nearly as puny.”

“Hey, I’m not that small!” Stanford defended.

“Yup, that’s the stubborn brainiac I know!” Stan laughed.

Stanford smiled at him and then got an idea. Stanley would always have his back! He’ll help him! “Stanley, they’re gonna make me go away! Tell them I don’t have to go!”

“Make you go away?” Stan repeated and then looked up at the crowd and saw the time machine in Dipper’s hand. “Oh, don’t wanna go back to New Jersey, huh?”

“But G…” But Wendy covered Mabel’s hand before she could say anything else.

Stanford ignored the meanies behind him and gave Stan the saddest puppy-dog eyes he could muster. He could practically see his brother crumble. “I mean, I could never tell you no, Sixer…”

“Stanley,” Ford said as he put a hand on his shoulder. “I would like to speak to myself in private.”

Stanford didn’t know how to feel about that. His little fingers tightened ever so slightly on Stan’s jeans.

“Oh, sure.” Stan then snorted and added, “If you can let go of my leg.”

Ford chuckled and held out a hand to his younger self. “Come on. I want to show you something.”

Stanford still wasn’t sure. He looked into those deep brown eyes that matched his own, the same brown eyes he saw when he looked in the mirror. Or looked at his brother. Or his mother. Or Dipper or Mabel. Stanford glanced back at the other pair of twins, having a hunch, but he knew that there was only one person that was going to tell him what he needed to hear and wanted to hear in a certain way, so Stanford slowly let his brother go and took his own polydactyl hand.

Ford smiled and walked with the ten-year-old into the house alone. Stanford looked up at his older self and smiled. Ford caught this and chuckled. “Do I look as you had hoped?” He asked.

Stanford felt his cheeks get warm again, but he ignored it to talk to himself. Who else gets a chance to talk to themselves like this? “Did you get better at boxing?”

Ford laughed, knowing why Stanford asked that; the child was clearly happy he would grow up to be somewhat fit. “I did, actually. I’m still not as good as Stanley, but that’s okay. I actually kept fit from field research and travelling.”

“You’re an explorer?!” Stanford gasped.

“We’re an explorer.” Ford corrected. “We are with Stanley.”

“So,” Stanford felt more comfortable with Ford as they entered the gift shop, so he asked, “Where exactly are we?”

“This is our home. We built this place when we first moved here.” Ford explained as he stood in front of the vending machine. “It’s changed a lot, but so have we. Excuse me.” He let go of Stanford’s hand to click a button on his watch, making the vending machine open. Stanford gasped and Ford took his hand again.

“So robots don’t take over the world?”

“Not yet, anyways.”

“Do we ever get better at talking to girls?”

“Better? Yes. As good as we want to be? No.”

Stanford giggled at that. Maybe there was hope for him, after all. The odd pair went to the elevator, Ford typed in the code, and then they travelled down to the third floor.

Stanford gasped to find a bright, colorful lab. What used to be dark and dingy and dusty was now loud and bright and full of projects ready to be resumed now that Ford was home for the summer. Twinkle lights hung from the ceiling, pictures and books littered the desk, and a big window displayed a big work-room full of projects. The Electron Carpet was rolled up and on a wooden shelf, a motorcycle in the works was in the work-room, and the big machines were fizzing and blinking on either side of Stanford.

“This place is amazing!” He cheered with pure delight.

“Yeah, beats working in a boring office every day.” Ford chuckled. “The lights were Mabel’s idea. Says a workspace needs to be fun. Do you want to see what I’m most proud of?”

“Yes!” Stanford took off for the work-room, thinking Ford was going to show him a microprocessor, or a machine that would benefit all of man-kind, but inside the giant room he could hear Ford chuckling and he found his older self still in the lab.

“No no,” Ford patted his ribs. “It’s right here.”

Stanford raised an eyebrow, confused and hoping it wasn’t going to be a stupid metaphore (he never enjoyed poetry), but Ford pulled out a photograph and Stanford gently took it, thinking it was going to be an award ceremony or a monster or an invention that wasn’t in the lab anymore.

The boy was beyond surprised to find himself in the picture, standing on the broken Stan O’ War with Stanley. Stanford could remember when this picture was taken, it had only been last summer, and from what the boy could tell, this copy was very old and worn. Stanford looked up at Ford to find him smiling peacefully.

“It was our first real achievement, our first big project, and it will always be the one I’m most proud of because we did it with our brother.” Ford explained.

Stanford smiled at himself, but then it went away as he thought about it. He was really willing to leave Stanley behind for all of this. Sure, mostly because he believed Stanley would be better off without him, but how much of it really was just Stanford trying to hide the guilt of leaving his twin alone. “Is… Is Stanley mad at me?”

“Oh, no.” Ford quickly reassured. “When we send you back, it’ll be like you never left.”

Stanford looked back up at himself and saw the picture of someone who looked really similar by his shoulder. Ford noticed Stanford’s averted eyes and he moved to the side so Stanford could look at the picture on the desk. A boy that looked a lot like Stanford had two fingers up by a girl who also looked like him with braces and long hair. The boy was wearing Dipper’s hat.

Stanford took the framed photo and Ford chuckled. “Stanley’s right. The resemblance is uncanny.”

With the pictures of ten and twelve-year-old Dipper, Mabel, Stan and Ford all in front of Stanford, he swallowed and asked, “Dipper and Mabel aren’t just friends, huh?”

Ford chuckled and shook his head. “No. All those people upstairs are your family.”

“So… if I go back now, then all of this will be my future?” Stanford asked, his eyes moving around the room and staying up at the ceiling for a few moments.

“Well,” Ford put a hand on Stanford’s shoulder and said, “That depends on you, you got to make the right choices. But I know you will. Remember, I’m you. I was once a ten-year-old kid looking up at an older version of myself, being told the same thing. Time travel is confusing, but you’ll find what goes around comes around, so if I experienced this,” And Ford gestured to the boy in front of him. ”Then it’s extremely plausible you will experience this,” And Ford gestured to the old man he was.

Stanford grinned and gave himself the picture back and sat the framed photo on the desk. There was still one last thing on his mind. Stanford hesitated, took in a deep breath, and dared to ask, “Does that mean Stanley and I will always be best friends?”

Ford held his cleft chin, hummed to himself, and then said slowly to himself, “I think you better get back to your own time and find out for yourself.”

Stanford sinked in stature and admitted, “I knew you were gonna say that.”

Ford chuckled and offered his hand again. “That’s because we are one smart kid, Sixer.”

~~~~~~~~~~

When back up to face the family, Dipper gave Stanford the time machine and said, “Now, it’s already set to backwards, so just go back fifty-two years and you should land right at the second you came from.”

“Thanks.” Stanford accepted the tape measure and looked at Dipper and Mabel. “I’m… I’m really sorry I got mad…”

“Hey, that’s what family’s all about.” Mabel said, waving the apology away.

Stanford smiled and nodded, then figured he owed them a hug and gave them one. Dipper was surprised, but hugged back, meanwhile Mabel was tearing up and sniffing as she hugged Stanford back tightly.

“Are you crying, pumpkin?” Stan asked.

“I’m… I’m gonna miss him…”

“I’m right here!”

Everyone laughed as Stanford let the teenagers go. Wendy ruffled his hair and said, “Had fun with you today, Stan Two. Feel free to get yourself a pet dinosaur on the way home.”

Stanford snorted and saw Wendy hold out a hand to him, wanting a high-five. He hesitated, then smiled and gave her a well-earned high-six. He then turned to Soos and Melody and said, “Thanks for hiring me, Soos, and giving me a tour.”

“Aw, you’re welcome, Little Dr. Pines.” Soos said.

“Just be careful going home.” Melody advised. “Don’t let the time-cops catch you, don’t go anywhere else, don’t do anything you wouldn’t do…”

“Yeesh, you’re worse than Ma.” Stan teased.

“Yeah, about that…” But Soos was interrupted by his adoptive father.

“Now move it, you knucklehead.” Stan said as it was almost dark outside. “Quit moping around too, it’s not like you're never gonna see us again. We’re your family!”

Stanford smiled and nodded. “Thanks, Stanley. See you earlier.”

“Love you, little brother.” And Stan punched Ford’s shoulder as he laughed.

“Yes, yes, enjoy it while you can.” Ford commented as he rolled his eyes, and Stanford pulled back the tape and released.

The second his ten-year-old self was gone, Ford held out a hand to Stan and clenched it a few times until his twin grumpily forked over some cash.

~~~~~~~~~~

January 1960-something

Just like Dipper said, Stanford was right where he was before he disappeared. He checked the clock in the window of a bakery and saw that no time had passed. He sat the time machine down for the owner to find and raced home, excited to tell Stanley everything.

But when bedtime came and Stanford was above Stanley and sharing his adventure, Stanley only said, “Wow, great story, Sixer!”

“It’s not just a story, Stanley, it’s real!” Stanford insisted. “It actually happened! Don’t you believe me?”

“A future in which you’re more fit than me?” Stanley clarified and blew a raspberry. “I bet you five bucks it never happens.”

Stanford grinned, knowing he was destined to win. “You’re on.”

#GF #fanfiction #meet the pines #meet the robinsons #gift #thank you so much for reading!#remember that bitches love comments

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yikesharringrove · 4 years

Note

So, I had this idea, but I'm not really good with writing Harringrove, so I thought I could share it with u. A modern au where Steve nd Billy are streamers in L.A. Like, maybe Billys a gaming streamer nd Steve is a v chill streamer nd basically half of their live streams consist of Steve sitting in Billys lap nd the two of them cuddling while just talking nd one day they get a donation question like, "Are the two of u dating wtf" nd they just go "duh" also. femme/nonbinary steve

I love the idea of Steve being jenna marbles-esque, just like sweet and kinda weird and super loved.

And y’all know my love for nb Steve.

Based loosely on this post. Mainly just the gif.

Watch me make up twitter handles lol

This is v soft and includes many of my headcanons for these two living their lovely modern lives.

“Bill!”

Steve was yowling like a damn cat out in the kitchen, interrupting Billy’s stream. “Billy!”

“Stevie! I’m streamin’, Baby!” Hear could hear Steve’s feet plodding down the hall. The chat started going crazy as they appeared in the stream behind Billy, wearing a too-big sweater, thick wool socks on those perpetually cold little feet. Their hair was a fucking mess, and they were wearing their glasses, the big ones Billy loved.

They climbed on Billy’s lap, settling their face into his neck.

“What’s up?”

“Just wanted some lovin’.” Steve’s voice was soft, but they always put their face on the side Billy’s headset mic was on and the audience would go wild over the quiet things they said. Billy rubbed their back before going back to his game.

“Everyone welcome Stevie to the stream.”

He kept playing as usual, Steve a warm little puddle in his lap.

“Okay, Babes. I’m signing off for today, Steve is definitely asleep on me right now and I gotta put them to bed. Love you all, stay safe.” He had to awkwardly shuffle Steve around in his lap to turn off the stream, picking them up to take them to the room across the hall.

They had gotten a two bedroom when they were still friends, pretending they weren’t fucking in love with each other. They had moved into the bedroom formerly known as Steve’s, setting up Billy’s old room for streaming and video editing.

Steve snuffled as Billy took off their glasses, sliding into bed behind them.

Steve was sitting on the floor, laughing at the monitor.

They had been doing a series of Quarantine Madness videos, doing crafts and silly makeup tutorials.

They were currently trying temporary hairdye, had their hair sticking up in all directions.

“This is so fucking stupid, oh my god.” They had electric pink in their hair, Billy had gotten roped into it with dark blue.

“If you destroy my hair for YouTube hits, I’m gonna cry.” Steve had their thin fingers in his hair, rubbing the dye in.

“Oh, worse comes to worse you get ridda that fucking mullet.”

“You love this mullet. It’s my trademark.” Billy’s hair wasn’t supposed to be a mullet, was originally a shag that had grown in weird, but Billy had become known for it, and he had kinda grown to like it.

“The whole premise of this video is to get you to shave your head.” Billy laughed. “Okay, so we gotta wait like twenty minutes and then we gotta wash it out.” They looked at memes while they waited, figured Steve would edit all this waiting out of the video anyway.

They washed the dye out in the sink, scrubbing at one another’s heads before getting in the shower to clean off the patches on their skin.

They ended up getting a little distracted in the shower.

Steve had blow dried both their hair to see the color. The pink was subtle in Steve’s dark hair, the highlights they had gotten a few weeks before quarantine picking up more of the color.

Billy’s hair was bright fucking blue, and neither of them could stop laughing at it.

“I kinda, kinda love it on you, Bill.” Steve was brushing their fingers through Billy’s hair, making him lean into the touch like a damn cat.

The video ended up being wildly popular.

“So, you all tweeted us some questions, and we’re gonna answer them over live stream. We each picked a bunch to pose to one another, so yeah.” Steve shrugged. “Billy, @.DustinHendy wants to know why you’re such a little bitch.” Billy cackled, planting his face into Steve’s shoulder.

“Tell Dustin he’s a little garbage human.” Billy winked at the camera, making the comments along the side of the screen go crazy. “Um, I thought this question was interesting, @.llittlebug says: you two are so touchy. Are you together, or are you just close friends? We’re gal pals, actually.” Steve laughed, loud and bright.

“Two bros chillin’ in the hot tub, five feet apart ‘cause we’re not gay.” Steve sang, making them both crack up.

“Yeah, we’re very much in a relationship, have been for four years now.” Steve was giving him that soft smile Billy loved so much. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to that sweet little mouth. The chat was going insane, people sending comments along the lines of I knew it! and so happy for you both!

Steve’s cheeks were flushed.

“So, uh @.bigyikes asks, how did you two meet? Well actually, we went to high school together, and fucking hated each other when we first met, got in a big fight, worked our shit out became friends, moved in together, and fell in love like big dumb losers.”

“So bold of you to claim I ever hated you. I literally was fucking in love with them from the first time I ever saw them but I was, uh, going through a lot, and was kind of the worst back then.” Steve’s arm was on his shoulder, playing with the long hair by his neck.

“You’ve gotten so much better. And I’m proud of you.” Billy planted a kiss to their forehead.

“Next question before I fucking cry, @.imaloser wants to know our sexualities and gender expressions. I mean, you’ve been plenty open about all that.”

“Well, yeah. I’m pansexual and agender, which is under the nonbinary umbrella, but I like to typically present femme. And I use they pronouns, most of you know that, of course. I’m pretty open.” They turned big eyes on Billy.

“These days, I just identify as queer. I’ve always identified as a gay man, but I haven’t dated a guy in a long fuckin’ time.” Steve curled into his side.

“It’s been a learning process for both of us. I mean Billy’s the first person I dated seriously after I came out, and there was just a part of me that felt lowkey misgendered every time he said he was gay.”

“Oh, there was a lot of learning in those early days for sure. And I think we’re both still doing that. I hope I am.” Steve poked his stomach.

“You’re good to me, Bill.” There was a slew of sweet comments in the live stream.

“@.folks asks when did you get into makeup?” He turned to Steve.

“Growing up, most of my friends were girls, and I just always loved playing dress up, and getting make overs. When I was like, fourteen I think, I started playing with makeup myself, learning from YouTube tutorials, and just like, messing around with stuff. I always loved just feeling really pretty, so that’s why-” they gestured at themself, one of Billy’s shirts tucked into old worn out jeans, soft white cardigan. They had put on a full face of makeup for the stream.

“I think you’re the prettiest.” Steve laughed, headbutting Billy’s shoulder.

“Okay, so @.imstruggling wants to know who’s a better cook.” Steve turned dramatically to the camera. “Me, bitch!”

#yikes writes #harringrove #modern harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble #nonbinary steve harrington #nonbinary!steve #modern au

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madtype · 3 years

Text

Cabaret Club Czar Training - YUKI (Part 4)

yuki’s training continues! this time she and majima discuss personal improvement, unsuccessful job hunting, and how yuki ended up as a hostess.

highlights: - majima being very kind and supportive to yuki regardless of the option chosen - yuki still being too nervous to even theoretically sit a job interview - majima making brazen assumptions about yuki’s love life...

full transcript under the cut!

---

MAJIMA: Okay, ready for another round of talking?

YUKI: Yes, please!

M: Wow, Yuki-chan. You've got those battle butterflies all sorted out, don't ya?

Y: Well, it is just you, Majima-san.

M: Hey, we'll have none of that, thanks.

M: Alright! I'm the customer, you're the hostess, same as always. Are ya ready?

Y: Yeah! Of course!

Y: Welcome to Club Sunshine, Yuki! I mean, customer!

M: ...We still ain't there.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y: Majima-san, thank you for requesting me. It's pretty cold today, isn't it?

M: Hey, Yuki-chan. You're lookin' cute as ever today.

Y: Haha... Hahahahaha...

M: Yo, what's with the giggles? I'm tryin' to talk to you like a customer would.

Y: Oh, I'm sorry! Majima-san, when you're the one telling me I'm cute, I can't help it... Hahaha.

M: Well, whatever works. At least you're doing okay when it's me you're practicin' with.

Y: Y-Yeah. I used to get nervous even talking to you, Majima-san. But with your help, I feel like... I'm getting it now.

Y: Even the conversations with my customers are getting longer lately. I'm actually starting to have fun at work!

M: That so? What ya been talkin' about?

Y: Everything and nothing. What they've done recently, what they ate... Oh, and hobbies!

M: Hobbies? Yeah, I seem to recall yours was...

> Writing in a diary.

M: ...Writing in a diary, right?

Y: That's right! I've recently started keeping a log of the customers I get each day, and I note all of their unique qualities and conversation topics.

M: Ah, that's some nice dedication to your customers. Way to go, Yuki-chan.

Y: I know my customer service skills aren't that great yet, so I thought I'd do what I can to get better.

Y: Well, I'm still working at it. I know I've got room to grow.

M: Hey, that's some good stuff right there, Yuki-chan. You've come a real long way.

> Bonsai.

M: It was bonsai, right?

Y: Wow, Majima-san, you actually remembered I raise bonsai? That's amazing! I only mentioned it briefly, didn't I?

M: Heh. When you're working at a cabaret club, a steel trap memory is half the battle.

Y: That's true. I found myself forgetting little things, so I started keeping a log of my customers' unique qualities and conversation topics in my diary.

M: Ahh, so now you've practically got a case file on your customers. Way to go, Yuki-chan.

Y: I know my customer service skills aren't that great yet, so I thought I'd do what I can to get better.

Y: Well, I'm still working at it. I know I've got room to grow.

M: Hey, that's some good stuff right there, Yuki-chan. You've come a real long way.

> Reading self-help books.

M: ...Reading relationship self-help books, right?

Y: N-No, it isn't! I mean, I guess I did read one. Once.

M: Yeah, what was the line you fed me? “Meat and potatoes are the quickest way to a man's heart!” Somethin' like that?

Y: Ahhhhh! Seriously! Just forget about that, please!

M: Heh heh heh.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

M: So, the club's come quite a long way, hasn't it? And you've been here since the beginning to see it all change.

Y: Yes, right. I've only been here for six months, though. I graduated from college just this year.

M: Yeah, remember when this place had three girls in it, including you?

M: So tell me somethin'. Why's a girl like you working in a club like this, anyway?

Y: Th-That's because...

M: Last time I asked, ya clammed up just like this. Maybe it's time ya cleared the air.

Y: ...... (uehh..)

Y: I... I couldn't find a job.

M: Eh?

Y: After I graduated from college, my job search was going nowhere, and I couldn't find anything!

M: Really? In this day and age? Companies are practically hirin' bums off the street, and you couldn't get a bite?

Y: I-It's true! I'm a pathetic woman who couldn't get an offer from a single company!

Y: I do pretty well on written tests, but I get nervous easily, so I'm terrible at interviews. I'm not a good liar like most people are, either.

Y: *sighs* I'm a real loser, aren't I?

> They were clueless.

M: Lettin' someone like you slip through the cracks was a mistake, Yuki-chan. Those fool companies were clueless.

Y: What?

M: Look around ya. It's the times we're in. Everybody's dressed to the nines in lies and vanity, tryin' to one up the competition.

M: But you don't do that. You just put yourself out there the way ya are, honest almost to a fault.

M: I wanna work with people I can believe in. I'd hire an awkward gal who can't tell a lie over a buncha smooth-talkin' succubi any day of the week.

Y: Majima-san, you've made me so happy. I... faced a lot of rejection, but in the end, I'm glad I got to work here.

M: Really?

Y: Yes. Otherwise, I never would have learned to talk to people like this. And I met you, Majima-san, along with everyone else here.

M: Well then, I'm glad ya got rejected too. If you weren't here at the club, who knows what woulda happened.

Y: I'm glad I'm awkward.

> Honesty is a talent.

M: I'd say bein' unable to tell a lie is actually a pretty positive quality, Yuki-chan.

Y: What?

M: Look around ya. It's the times we live in. Everybody's dressed to the nines in lies and vanity, tryin'to one up the competition.

M: But you don't do that. You just put yourself out there the way ya are, honest almost to a fault.

M: I wanna work with people I can believe in. I'd hire an awkward gal who can't tell a lie over a buncha smooth-talkin' succubi any day of the week.

Y: Majima-san, you've made me so happy. I... faced a lot of rejection, but in the end, I'm glad I got to work here.

M: Really?

Y: Yes. Otherwise, I never would have learned to talk to people like this. And I met you, Majima-san, along with everyone else here.

M: Well then, I'm glad ya got rejected too. If you weren't here at the club, who knows what woulda happened.

Y: I'm glad I'm awkward.

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M: So how'd it happen? I imagine ya musta met Youda-chan somehow, eh?

Y: Yeah. I was spacing out at a park by myself. I shudder to think what would've happened if he didn't approach me.

M: Interesting. I wonder what possessed Youda-chan to roll up on you.

Y: I remember him saying, “There's something brilliant within you! You're the kind of girl that only appears once in a decade!” That's Youda-san for you.

M: Oh. Uhh... I see.

Y: Youda-san is a really bad judge of character, isn't he?

M: Nah, nah, I disagree.

M: So, Yuki-chan, if you could get a normal day job now, would ya still wanna go do that instead of the cabaret club?

Y: I don't know. Until recently, I really wanted to quit this job, to be honest.

Y: But now, I want to see what I can make of myself at this club for a while.

M: I see.

Y: Of course, at some point I'd like to resume my job search and try to get an office job.

Y: But, this club is a comfortable place to be, and I learn so much every day. So I'm thinking maybe I should grow up a little more here before I start looking again.

> You gotta get sexier.

M: If that's the case, your next goalpost's gotta be sexiness.

Y: Me, s-sexy? Why's that?

M: Considering the world we live in, bein' sexy is a great way to land an interview. Women got some tools men don't, so ain't no harm in usin' em.

Y: I-I see. That makes sense. Maybe I failed my interviews because I wasn't sexy enough.

M: Yeah, maybe that was the problem. And maybe a bunch of other things, too...

M: Nothin' better than an interviewer flustered by a sexy woman, though. He's tryin' to ask ya questions when all he really wants to know is the color of your damn underwear!

Y: O-Okay! But I wouldn't want to answer that question...

> You can network here!

M: Ya never know, one of your clients could turn out to be a corporate manager.

Y: What?

M: If he likes ya, he might offer you a job right there on the spot. Haha.

Y: Whaaat? Though I guess that does happen in manga!

Y: Wh-What would I do? I'm getting nervous just thinking about it...

M: Hey, relax, Yuki-chan. Lay your best line on me.

Y: Wh-What can I do for you Mr. President... My name Yuki... It nice to meet you...

M: Oh man, you sound more nervous than a foreigner on her first day at a shady bar.

> I'll work ya hard!

M: Nice. But fair warning, I'm gonna put the screws to ya!

Y: Y-Yes! I'm looking forward to it! I'll work hard!

M: Heh. You've changed, Yuki-chan. Look at that confidence. I bet you'd ace a company interview now.

Y: R-Really? Heh heh... Hahahaha.

M: ...Just make sure ya don't laugh like that at the interview, or they'll boot ya right out.

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M: Alright, let's call it a day. Good job, Yuki-chan.

Y: Sure. Thank you very much. Whew... Now I'm getting sleepy all of a sudden, now that I can relax. *yawn*

M: You gettin' enough sleep at night, Yuki-chan?

Y: Oh, y-yes. I just had an unexpected guest over last night, so...

M: Oh, I see. A late night guest, eh? Well, now.

Y: Huh? What is it?

> A lady needs sleep.

M: Nothin', nothin'. Just get your beauty sleep, Yuki-chan.

M: Lack of sleep's bad for the skin! And it's doubly bad if ya fall asleep on the job.

Y: Y-Yes! Thanks for your concern. They say nothing's more important to a woman than her skin, after all. And it would be rude to the customer. I'll be careful!

M: Yeah, nothin' wrong with going out for a night on the town. Just don't overdo it, right?

Y: Huh? Going out? I don't really understand, but, anyway, I'll get more sleep!

> I wish ya the best.

M: Well then, Yuki-chan, I wish ya nothin' but happiness.

Y: Huh? Wh-What are you talking about? I don't understand what you're getting at!

M: It's okay, it's no problem. A bit of a shame, I guess, but if you're happy, I'm happy too.

Y: Um, uh. Thank you? Well, I am happy. I guess I'll keep on being happy!

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M: Okay, I think that'll do it.

Y: Th-Thank you for the lesson.

M: Sure thing. Good job.

#cabaret club czar #yakuza 0 #goro majima #yuki #club sunshine

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kumeko · 3 years

Photo

Chapter 2 for @march-lion-98 for the @damijonsecretsanta! Damian’s pov this time!

...

There was nothing more aggravating than living with his father. No, actually, Damian’s father was fine, it was his father’s family that was annoying. There were times when he wondered why his parents divorced, and all of those questions were wiped away at the sight of his father’s brood of orphans.

Well, he hoped they were orphans. For all he knew, they were illegitimate children he’d have to fight off his father’s will. Before his father died, preferably—he didn’t want a long dispute for the Wayne inheritance. Damian had plans and with his mother’s fortunes and his father’s business, he could revolutionize the world.

His mother wouldn’t expect anything less, after all.

“Congrats!” An unwelcome arm slung around Damian’s shoulder as he left the boy’s locker room, pulling him closer to the oldest of his so-called siblings. Dick Grayson squeezed him tight and ruffled his hair as they walked into the stadium lobby. “You were like a mile ahead of everyone.”

“Of course I was,” Damian sniffed disdainfully. He eyed Dick’s arm but in the end didn’t pull away. It was too much effort fighting Dick instead of just accepting his overly-open brand of affection.

“And so humble too.” Tim Drake rolled his eyes from Dick’s other side, sarcasm dripping with every word. They hadn’t gotten along since their first meeting. Damian doubted they ever wood.

“Humbleness is for the foolish and the weak.” Damian leaned forward, arching a perfectly-trimmed eyebrow. “Which are you, again?”

As Tim sputtered into a rage, Cassandra Cain squeezed Damian’s hand. “You did…well.” She half-signed as she spoke, still adjusting to her new vocabulary.

“Thank you.” She was also the only one who’s opinion he cared about in this hodge podge family.

Just as he was feeling pleased, Stephanie Brown leaned over his shoulder and pinched his cheek. “Aww, you’re so shy! Why can’t you ever be honest?”

Her arms hung over his shoulders, pressing Dick’s arm into his neck, and Damian shook them both off before he choked. “What are you doing here?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder as the blonde buried her hands in her jean’s pockets.

“What, can’t a gal support her friend?” Stephanie shook her head, looking more amused than insulted. “You know, you can just admit you’re happy, right?”

Damian glared at her. Stephanie was like a stray dog. He wasn’t sure exactly when she’d wormed her way into their household or if she was dating either Cassandra or Tim right now, but either way he couldn’t figure out how to get her back out.

Even Alfred liked her, making it impossible for him to do anything overt.

“He’s never happy,” Tim quipped, always ready with a barb.

“He’s happy now,” Dick corrected, ruffling Damian’s hair again. “First place!”

“It’d be embarrassing if I got anything else,” Damian muttered. Maybe it was the Stockholm speaking, but Damian found he minded his family’s antics less and less with every extended stay. It irritated his mother to no end.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

By now they’d left the corridor leading from the changerooms to the main foyer. Throngs of families consoled their children over their losses, and the sound of barely restrained sobbing was barely audible in the dim. Scattered about the room, a handful of families congratulated their children for their victories.

From the corner of his eye, he spotted his father talking to another parent. Even in his forties, Bruce Wayne cut an impressive figure. Many eyes were on him, partially due to his square shoulders, his strong jaw, his bright blue eyes. Mostly though, because he smelled of money and these meets were the only times these plebes would ever see him.

Noticing him, his father waved and made his way over. The man he was talking to followed after, and if his father had a boxer’s build, this man had a farmer’s. Every part of him looked bulky and big and Damian wrinkled his nose in disgust. This definitely wasn’t one of his father’s business friends.

“Mr. Kent!” Whatever he was, he also wasn’t a stranger. Immediately, Dick released Damian and sprang forward. If he had been bright before, he was downright sunny now. “It’s been so long!”

Damian frowned. Kent. That sounded familiar.

“Way too long, Dick.” Mr. Kent chuckled, sounding almost affectionate as he hugged Dick. “You’ve gotten so big.”

“Come over more often and it won’t be so surprising.” Dick grinned as he pulled back.

There was something revolting about the way the rest of them stepped forward, like eager puppies for Mr. Kent’s attention. His father neatly side-stepped them and approached Damian. “Clark Kent,” he explained when Damian raised a brow. “Old friend and reporter.” That explained it, Damian must have read an article of his once. “I don’t think he’s been over since you’ve arrived, actually.”

As though sensing they were talking about him, Mr. Kent looked up and grinned. “Your son looks just like you.”

“And as sharp as his mother.” His father grinned wryly, casually wrapping an arm around Damian in a loose hug. It felt oddly affectionate. “Clark, this is Damian.”

Damian curtly nodded his head, already disinterested. There was no need to get into a reporter’s good graces, especially a no-name like him.

“He’s about Jon’s age.” Mr. Kent looked behind him and called out, “Hey! Lois!”

In the distance, Damian made out a middle-aged woman, roughly his father’s age. Grey streaked her black hair and she rolled her eyes as she headed over. “Should have figured you were here.”

“Sorry for disappearing like that.” Mr. Kent looked utterly unrepentant and she lightly punched his shoulder. “Damian, this is—”

“Lois Lane.” Damian stepped forward. There were no introductions needed for a Pulitzer winner like her; he didn’t always agree with her views, but her reporting was top-class. It was too bad she’d married this nobody. He held out a hand. “Charmed.”

Dick, Tim, and Stephanie burst into laughter, while Cassandra looked confused by the whole exchange. A puzzled Ms. Lane took his hand and shook it, before glancing at his father and raising a brow. “Did you finally clone yourself?”

“No, he’s…” His father rubbed his neck. “He’s just polite.”

“Polite,” Tim muttered, disagreeing.

“It’s cute.” Mr. Kent grinned as he rested his hand on a boy Damian hadn’t noticed before. He must have come with Lois Lane. “Damian, this is our son Jon. He was at the meet too.”

Damian took a second to study the stranger—he looked rough and tumble like his father, and with none of the intelligence that shone in Ms. Lane’s eyes. A moron.

“You were awesome, Damian.” Jon stepped forward eagerly. “Next time, we’re definitely racing.”

No, a slow moron. If they didn’t compete, then he didn’t even make the finals. His lips curled in disgust and he turned back to Ms. Lane, utterly disinterested. “Are you working on another investigation?”

All three adults stared at him. His father groaned. “Damian…”

Jon blinked, surprised. “Huh?”

“That’s…” Ms. Lane glanced at his father wryly. “The apple doesn’t grow too far from the tree, huh? Didn’t this happen when you first met us?”

“Please don’t bring it up,” his father muttered, looking embarrassed.

“He’s like this with everyone, trust me,” Stephanie consoled the young boy.

“With everyone not important,” Damian corrected, rolling his eyes. It was bad enough that he couldn’t get the Wayne idiots out of his life, he didn’t need to repeat the mistake with others.

Dick groaned. “Damian, we’ve been over this—”

“Like I’m gonna be friends with an asshole,” Jon snapped, glaring at Damian. “I’ll beat you next time. Then we’ll see who’s ‘not important’.”

“Like to see you try,” Damian snorted. “Once a loser—”

“Language!”

#damijon #damian wayne #Jonathan Kent #jon kent #batfam #super sons #bruce wayne #lois lane #clark kent #dick grayson #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #tim drake #fanfic

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dollarstoreartsupplies · 4 years

Text

Reverse Fem Reddie AU headcanons

Becuase they live in my head rent free!!

Okay! So I basically have an extensive list of headcanons for these gals but none of the moitvation or ability to write a fic for them! So here you go! This is almost exclusively for me and it was very fun to write!

Basic rundown! They’re fem Reddie but if Richie’s parents were super overbearing and strict and Eddie responded to Sonia’s abuse by rebelling against her more! They still have a lot of base traits that they normally do (Eddie more than Richie) becuase they are the same people but they just dealt with different circumstances!! Also they’re very in love.

This got LONG so if you want to delve into my extensive list of incredibly specfic lore for these girls there is more under the cut!

Tw!! General IT-themed violence/emotional manipulation/abuse

Richie:

- Maggie and Wentworth Tozier are good people, or, they would be if they didn’t live in Derry, Maine. They had a child rather young which already got them their fair share of judgement during the pregnancy from the Worst Town In The World, and the daughter they did have was always too loud too bright too much for Derry, all of which eventually proved to be a little too much for them to be able to handle.

- When Rachel Tozier is four she starts preschool and Maggie internalizes the judgemental glares from mothers as they take in her scraped knees, and tells Rachel, too sharply for a toddler, to be more careful.

- When she is four Wentworth, after a long day at work, snaps at her to stop being so loud, and then keeps doing it because it’s easier than trying to teach her boundaries and deal with a little noise.

- When she is four Maggie and Wentworth decide the right course of action isn’t to be good parents but to be perfect parents, that it’s much less embarrassing and messy and inconvenient if Rachel is simply a well behaved and lovely and good little girl.

- Rachel (I’m just gonna call her Richie from here on out) doesn’t like yelling, she doesn’t like too-long time outs and nights without dinner and any of the other lazy but horrible punishments that her exasperated, perfectionist parents can throw at her for things she shouldn’t even really be punished for. Every toddler throws tantrums and loses their hairbows and tugs at their dress’s scratchy lace linings in public but they hammer in early on that she’s not allowed to do what Every Toddler does.

- They sign her up for piano lessons when she enters kindergarten, something to channel her excess energy in a way they can brag about, and Richie makes the mistake of actually enjoying something her parents want her to do for once, her piano teacher makes the mistake of calling her a ‘prodigy’, and goddamn she will never be free again because having the piano prodigy child is something neither of her parents are ever going to let go, it’s just too ‘perfect’ of an edition for their ‘perfect’ little girl.

- Instead of growing up loud mouthed and funny and messy, Richie Tozier grows up to be too nervous to defy her parents, a perfect, polite little golden girl with anxiety who always gets straight As and dresses neatly and performs solos at concerts so her parents can brag that ‘you know she takes private lessons five times a week, right?’

- She still talks a lot, but only to her friends and it takes some coaxing and genuine comfort with the people she’s with to really set her off to speak fully freely.

- Even then, the first time she says fuck she has a full out panic attack becuase she’s not supposed to talk like that but eventually her friends (mostly Eddie) rub off on her.

- She’s not a complete pushover with the Losers and she can bicker with the best of them but when it comes to her parents and other adults she’s fucking terrified becuase she’s so used to getting disciplined for not being perfect.

- She still has ADHD except she has no way of channeling it because she’ll get in trouble for that,,, so she’s sort of just in a constant state of over/under stimulation while she masks all her stimming and excess energy until she is in the clubhouse and only her friends can see her. She literally destroys the inside of her cheek because of how hard she bites on it and her glasses are always clean because she can fidget with them under the guise of wiping the lenses off.

- She cries if she gets anything lower than an A- and even then that's Thin Ice because she knows her parents will yell at her for it.

- When she was little she innocently claimed she was going to marry Eddie Kaspbrak at the dinner table because she had given her fruit snacks at school that day and she got so absurdly punished for it that it spurred years of debilitating internalized homophobia before Derry could even do it for her parents.

- Does she prefer bright colors? Yeah. Is she allowed to wear them? No! Her wardrobe is like 90% white cardigans with one dark blue one thrown in for ~spice~

- If I’m being honest everytime I think about Reverse Fem Richie my brain just loops Little Miss Perfect by Taylor Louderman and Everything Else from Next to Normal.

Eddie:

- Frank Kasbrak dies two years after he’s supposed to. Now, you wouldn’t tend to think that losing your father at six would be too different than losing him at four, but with a mother quite so terrible and the small but important long term memory differences that happen before the age of five versus after, it changes who Edith Kaspbrak is as a person.

- She has a little more time with a single sane, supportive parent and once that parent passes away she is far less pliant to her mother’s demands.

- Six year olds don’t really have teen rebellions yet, due to the fact that they are six, but she trusts her mother a little less intrinsically, she’s more of a trouble maker, she never learns properly that her big, explosive emotions are something her mother thinks she should suppress.

- She still thinks she’s sick, that she needs all the medications her mother bags up in her lunch box next to her pre-peeled and pre-bruised clementine wedges, and she still grows up to be a bit of a germaphobe and through and through a hypochondriac, but she knows that she’s not weak and that is the difference two extra years with a supportive parent makes.

- She curses like a sailor and is really rude and annoying because she needs everyone to know that she isn’t the super delicate, sickly little doll her mom wants her to be. Except,,, she’s not great at emotional control because no one has ever taught her how to be so she goes too far and gets in trouble all the time.

- She is like,,, obsessively loyal and protective of her friends, and gets in physical fights for them constantly because she has no sense of self preservation.

- She is especially protective of Richie but,,, shhh don’t tell her that or else she’ll know Eddie’s gay which is bad becuase like,,, while she’s an excellent rebllious little shit but her mom is still very good at convincing her being gay is a sickness and Derry itself doesn’t really help with internalized homophobia.

- She’s very stupid. All iterations of Eddie are stupid but she is,,, so dumb,,, she’ll throw herself down a hill because her mom forced her to wear a dress and she knows tumbling down dirt and grass into a mud puddle will destroy it,,, and then she freaks out because she scrapes her knee on the way down and is worried it will get infected.

- After It happens her rebellion comes to a head and she loses any and all left over faith she may have had in her mother, because the only thing she trusted her on was the fact that she objectively needed this medication and now that isn’t even fucking true.

- Eventually, in an incredibly Beverly Marsh approved move, she locks herself in the bathroom and chops her hair into the sloppiest bob that has ever existed, cuts most of her shirts in half so they’re cropped, and flushes the pills her mom bought to replace the ones she got rid of down the toilet.

- And then she climbs through her window to Bill’s house and has a panic attack because she has a lot of suppressed anxiety and she’s terrible at coping with it. But! She looks really cool and it’s a big fuck you to her mom so,,, its a win in her book.

It:

- Eddie technically sees Pennywise first between the two of them but Richie tells everyone about him first because Eddie is scared to admit something freaked her out because she doesn’t want to seem like a baby.

- Pennywise still shows Eddie the leper still because she is secretly super paranoid about getting sick, but she’s also really insecure about that fear because she thinks it makes her weak to be afraid which he definitely uses to his advantage.

- He also still plays off Richie’s sexuality crisis, except he has even more to go off of because instead of just getting bullied by her classmates (even though like, fuck man, she still gets bullied by her classmates because no one likes the know it all, straight As, honors student who your parent has compared you to since you were like, eleven) except now she has terrible parents who have put so much pressure on her to be Picture Perfect and are Incredibly Homophobic.

- Pennywise also pulls some shit that lets him manipulate her hands on the keys while she’s practicing to force her to play creepy carnival music and she literally cannot pull away.

- (Which is in itself a nightmare because one of her parents’ favorite ways of discipling her is to literally make her practice for hours until she can’t feel her fingers,,, so it's that,,, but she physically cannot stop,,, and also she’s not in control of her hands which Jesus Christ Is So Scary.)

- But when she starts crying her dad just comes in and yells at her for practicing the wrong music because he can’t see the clown and he can pick her hands off the keys.

- Eddie still breaks her arm and it’s the first time any of the Losers (except Stan) have really heard Richie lose it and be actually angry and nasty.

Miscellaneous:

- They choose their nicknames the same way as the normal fem Losers; in solidarity with Bill who got teased for having a ‘boy’ name because that's bullshit (but they’re like six so they don’t really get that, they’re just incredibly good friends), except Eddie chose her nickname immediately (she had always hated Edith) and then made Stan and Richie choose their nicknames too ‘or else she would punch them’.

- Richie prefers her nickname, it’s the first real choice she’s ever made for herself and she thinks she sounds very cool, but she made all her friends promise not to call her Richie in front of her parents because it would Go Very Poorly.

- Bill fucks it up and calls her Richie anyway,,, because she’s six and she forgot,,, but Richie gets in so much trouble for it because it is like the opposite of what her parents want her to be. Deciding to stay Richie is really her very first time breaking the rules intentionally and Bill shares her cookie with her the next day at lunch as an apology so it honestly works out pretty well all things considered.

- Both Eddie and Richie have the sort of home lives where they need to escape sometimes but occasionally they can’t just climb through their best friend’s windows so a lot of the time they end up running into each other in the middle of the night on their way to the clubhouse.

- Eddie teases Richie for wearing exclusively the other Losers clothes (she literally has No really comfortable clothing because her parent have a thing about her not looking sloppy even when she’s sleeping) but if Eddie is being perfectly honest Richie wearing her hoodie that she stole is slowly killing her becuase she is just so very gay and Richie looks so very cute.

- They fall asleep cuddling in the hammock so often that the Losers have taken to swinging by the clubhouse to check on them before school so they don’t get in trouble for being late.

- Eventually when one of them, especially Eddie, is upset enough to need to get out of their house, they’ll just swing by the other’s house to pick them up because they’ve both agreed that sleeping in the hammock together is better than being in their houses even if nothing is specifically wrong.

- Eddie brings extra sweaters and blankets everything time because Richie constantly forgets to take care of herself and she’s paranoid about the repercussions of falling asleep outside in the cold, but she pretends she didn’t bring them and they’re just conveniently there, even though they literally came out of her backpack, because she wants to seem cool.

- Nothing expediates the process of falling head over heels for each other quite like spending multiple nights a week just the two of you cuddling under a blanket in a hammock while you both try your best to comfort and distract the other from their horrible home lives.

- Eddie is super protective of Richie and Richie is in awe of Eddie’s sheer power and really admires her, they still bully each other mercilessly and bicker like it’s their Job but it’s really just a cover up for how fully in love they are with each other.

- Richie makes the first move and then Simply Passes Out and that's OKAY!!! Good for her!!! Eddie makes most of the other moves from there on out but she made the first one and I, for one, am proud of her!!!

- They are so anxious about the whole thing that they don’t even tell their friends that they are dating for a while but they’re both terrible liars so all the Losers Know, they’re just giving them time.

- Eddie buys Richie a walkman and writes down every song she overhears Richie say she likes so she can make her mixtapes because Richie’s parents only let her listen to classical music but she fucking hates it,,, obviously,,, becuase only listening to classical music for fourteen years because your parents say modern music will destroy her ‘gifted brain cells’ gets boring.

- Richie keeps extra inhalers for Eddie in her backpack, she knows that Eddie literally always forgets hers or intentionally leaves it at home because she thinks she shouldn’t need it but it’s one of the easiest ways to get her breathing to steady out when she’s having an anxiety attack, and then Richie can actually work on actually calming her down.

- Eddie always kisses Richie’s hands, like, she has a whole system where she kisses the pads of her fingers one by one and then her palms and it’s very cute and mutually relaxing, because she knows they normally hurt and cramp up from how much she’s forced to practice.

- Richie helps cut Eddie’s hair everytime she wants to do something different with it because she’s supportive but also because ‘unless someone with brain cells does it her hair always comes out looking like a toddler hacked it off it with a knife’ (and also Richie likes how easily she can fluster her normally ‘cool’ and ‘tough’ girlfriend by telling her she’s pretty after it’s all done).

- She never means to, but sometimes Eddie gets Richie in trouble by proxy just because of who she is as a person. She always feels terrible about it because it makes Richie cry and gets her grounded for like a month, which is enough of a lesson in itself for Eddie because while she just sneaks out at this point when she gets grounded, Richie is too nervous too, so she doesn’t get to smooch her gf for a whole MONTH.

- Once they’re old enough to get their licenses they take to driving around on those nights where they need to get out of the house, normally Eddie drives because it calms her down and gives her control and Richie sort of hates driving because her dad taught her and he just yelled at her until she cried every time so she associates it with bad things.

- They find a shitty diner a couple miles out of town and the food is disgusting and greasy and cheap, they never play good music, and the wait staff ignores almost all the tables, but it’s perfect for them and they make it their safe space, none of the other Losers even know about it.

- Richie always pays for Eddie because her parents actually give her a weekly allowance unlike Sonia who is convinced Eddie would just use the money to get away from her (which is incredibly fair to be honest), and she likes to brag about how she’s treating her every time they go. Eddie humors her and force feeds her fries because she forgets to eat a lot.

- It’s honestly the ideal date spot for them both because the Tozier’s force Richie to follow a super strict diet regime/send her to bed without dinner a lot when she fucks up and Sonia Kaspbrak exclusively buys and cooks super bland, overdone, non-allergenic meals that are gross and not filling whatsoever.

- Eddie enjoys Holding Richie and cursing out their parents and their town and then planning out their entire future together, and sometimes Richie pipes in but she’s pretty much content to just relax and get informed about how her life is going to be awesome and she’s never going to have to play fucking piano again becuase this Gal is so incredibly burnt out, like she’s super creative and there are aspects of preforming that she thrives on because she’s a natural born entertainer, but she’s not allowed to do the things that would foster those actually enjoyable parts of preforming so she hates it.

- Eddie is on the track team, she joined because her mom thought it would be dangerous but she ended up actually loving it, and she’s really good, she just tends to over do it to try and prove a point sometimes and Richie has to scoop her up and tell her taking breaks doesn’t mean she’s delicate and helpless.

- They just LOVE and SUPPORT each other okay??????

Adulthood:

- Richie and Eddie had a whole plan where Richie would go to the prestigious music conservatory program her parents wanted her to for a year until they can get settled and save up enough for when her parents inevitably cut her off after she drops out so they can figure out what they really want to do with their lives together.

- Except she Forgets about Eddie and the plan and everything she was looking forward to that would actually make her happy. She graduates after four years and then gets thrown into a career as a professional, well known concert pianist.

- It’s basically her reputation from Derry but on a NATIONAL SCALE and her constant pressure and anxiety levels from Derry but on a N A T I O N A L S C A L E!

- Someone please hug her.

- Except no one is going to hug her because the only people she talks to are her manager and the other people in the orchestras she plays for and her parents when they call her and take credit for her success.

- She’s a woman so she has to work twice as hard to get to the same place as some of the men in the same career path, and she already has so many hold ups about being perfect and her manager puts so much pressure on her to get publicity as this incredibly gifted, elegant, flawless, classical musician or else she’ll get ‘eaten alive in this business’ and ‘never be anything’ and ‘die in squalor because she has no job and no one will give her one again if she fucks up’.

- She is the loneliest, most stressed out pushover and she can’t even do the aspects of performing that make her happy (like playing fun music and getting to have an outlet for her endless creativity) because it’s not part of her ‘image’.

- She definitely composes some of her own music but her manager tells her it’s garbage and she only plays it when she’s alone because she’s insecure about it.

- Eddie moves to New York City for college because it’s so obviously her mother’s nightmare location for her to live, so she lives there. It’s really only partially a big ‘fuck Sonia Kaspbrak’ move, becuase she thinks she’ll still be able to be with Richie if she goes there and live together and do all these incredibly city experiences together, but of course she Forgets and it loses it’s main impact.

- Even the ‘fuck you’ point, which she refuses to forget, has less meaning because Sonia just fucking follows her.

- She still gets married to Myran. At first he’s actually cool and more or less seems to let her do her own thing, her mother hates him and she decides that it’s enough of a basis for a relationship. After a while he proposes and she says yes even though it doesn’t feel right, like something fundamental is missing, because it will really show her mother she doesn’t give a shit about what she thinks.

- Except, in her haste to stick it to Sonia, she misses hundreds of red flags and now she’s just trapped in the most toxic, controlling, unhappy marriage because she is perpetually stuck in a state of hopeless teenage rebellion.

- By the time he shows his true colors, though, he almost fully supports her financially and she can’t get out.

- She sort of just makes her life more difficult because subconsciously she only knows how to do things that end up fucking her over in the name of ‘freedom’.

- I think she’s a bartender? Like, that's cool as hell. She really starts because Myran absolutely does not want her to, and having a job of her own gives her a false sense of control, but ends up really liking it??

- She’s sort of shit at aspects of it because she’s very easily grossed out and bars are gross but she’s really good at making/mixing drinks.

- She also Will Not be fucked with regardless of guys who think they can because she’s so tiny, which is awesome and incredibly badass of her. She definitely is all of the female patron’s favorite bartender because she’s super perceptive to when dudes are making them uncomfortable, she’ll always help them out when they need an out or if a guy who wants to buy them a drink seems sus, and she is not afraid to punch an asshole in the face.

- Her life is just,,,, get yelled at by husband, yell at husband, go to work, yell at creeps, give girls she likes free drinks, prolong going home by doing something her husband would definitely hate, go home, get yelled at by husband, yell at husband.

It 2: Electric Boogaloo, kinda, I don’t have like any points for this one:

- They go back to Derry and see each other and are like,,,, oh,,,, my lovely girlfriend,,, yeah that clears some things up,,,,

- Eddie survives because fuck yeah she does and they get MARRIED and GROW and COPE WITH THEIR TRAUMA TOGETHER!!!!

#Can you tell I hyperfixated on this at four in the morning?#I! Love! Them!#Rev!Eddie is sort of closer to normal Eddie just much rowdier #Rev!Richie is Soft and Sad and Scared of Authority #I feel bad for making maggie and went bad parents BUT THATS ALL THEY CAN BE FOR THE AU IM SORRY #sonia still fucking sucks #reverse reddie au #Long Post

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kxhlzn · 4 years

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i | THE BIRDWATCHER.

SYNOPSIS: You spend some time brewing over big news, and Ben has a favor to ask.

GENRE: Coming-Of-Age, Drama, Angst, Romance, Slow Burn.

PAIRINGS: Stanley Uris/Reader, confusing Richie/Reader, Unrequited!Beverly/Reader, Bev/Ben, Pining!Eddie/Richie.

WORDCOUNT: 4.5k

WARNINGS: Profanity, semi-nudity, gay pining. Bullying, homophobia, etc in future chapters!

SONG RECS: 'She' by Dodie.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I made a post about my choice to rewrite this series, so here's the first chapter! The Losers' Club are all fifteen here, but this is still set in 1989. Pennywise doesn't exist. Reader is bisexual, or at least interested in guys and gals (& maybe non-binary pals! Whatever floats your boat!) Also if this all over the place don't come at me pls. Slightly edited and idk if it is even good so— 🤪✌🏻

There's been quite a few changes :)

MAY 1989.

DEAR LOSERS' CLUB,

No, that wasn't personal enough. You wanted each of them to know what they meant to you. Each of them.

DEAREST BEVERLY,

Why must your thoughts always drift to her first? Why can't she be third or fifth?

TO RICHIE,

You huff dramatically and crumple the notebook paper, attempting to toss it into the waste bin a few feet away.

A detached sigh tumbles from the wide desk across from you, and your history teacher slowly retracts his novel from in front of him to reveal an unamused expression.

He rolls his tongue against his cheek, and waits. When he is met with silence, he shifts in his seat. "... Aren't you, uh... Against wasting trees or whatever?"

You blink. "Yeah, obviously."

"Yeah, obviously!" Mr. Ellis laughs bitterly, and rolls his eyes. "Well, can you waste them a bit quieter?"

Before you can respond, he puts up a finger like he's suddenly been enlightened. "Or, better yet— Leave."

You tap your fingertips against your thighs, and kick your feet up onto your desk. "You know, if I didn't know better, Mr. Ellis, I'd think you didn't like me or something."

He stares at you blankly. "And where on Earth did you come up with that idea?"

You shrug, "No clue. Mr. Ellis, can I confide in your honest feedback on something?"

"I imagine you will anyway—"

"—So, listen... I'm going on a personal journey when summer break is over and I'm afraid I won't ever see you again," You explain, curving your brows inward. Your teacher uses his index finger to trace a single tear gliding down his cheek. "And, um, I don't— I don't know how to.. How do I tell the only true friends I've ever had?"

He pretends to think it over long and hard. "Let me see..."

"I don't care," He finishes, picking up his novel where he left off.

You scowl, and drop your forehead against the surface of your desk, the echo reverberating throughout the empty classroom, save for two people.

Mr. Ellis unwraps a cookie and takes a large bite, and glances at you intermediately between pages. He sighs again. "Will you leave if I tell you what to do?"

"Faster than when the lunch bell rings," You chirp, grinning brightly and leaning forward eagerly on your desk.

He rolls his eyes and puts his feet up on his desk, and pressing his back into his chair. "Go have some fun. Get high. Jump off roofs and ding-dong ditch. Just go be a kid, and tell them when the time is right. Okay?"

A light breeze rushes through the windows propped open with history textbooks, rustling the papers stacked on Mr. Ellis's large desk. Outside, the faint echo of laughter and summer jitters resounds within the four walls surrounding you.

You nod firmly, and skip to an open window.

Tossing him a grin, you give some finger guns. You crawl up onto the large sill, and before you hop out, Mr. Ellis calls your name.

He has the softest expression you've ever seen on him. "Listen— It's been a pleasure having you. Even if you were the loudest, most persistent, and possibly the worst student I've ever had. Just, uh— Be honest with your friends, okay? Don't wait 'til the last minute. They'll never forgive you if you do."

You give him a two-finger salute before hopping out the window.

You found out you were moving away from Derry in early April, due to an accident involving your grandfather's motorcycle obsession, but there was never really a good time to tell the people you've been slumming it with since you were eleven. The first time you tried, Richard Tozier pushed you off a cliff (a story for another time), and the second time, Ben burned himself on Beverly's flat iron (also a long story). The third time, the words fell dead on your lips when Stanley Uris told you you were the closest thing to a best friend he had.

You swear he was on the verge of tears.

So, you postponed. Now, it's late May, and you haven't said a word to them.

You know you have to tell them— You know this, you do, but the timing is never right. At least, that's what you keep telling yourself— Because somehow the words "you're a coward" are far too intimidating to admit.

Especially to yourself.

Heat swells across your cheeks, the massive, and rowdy, kitchen bustling with voices and feet. Your apron hugs your waist and you peer over your shoulder at Beverly, whose red hair is vibrant against the pale walls. Her blue eyes glance up to meet yours, and they are gentle. Bristling, you face Stanley on your right, who is speaking softly with an elderly woman on the other side of the counter.

The soup kitchen is a bit vacant in terms of people to serve, as it's the first few minutes before the dinner crowd pools in at seven. This time is the most peaceful— Pots and pans full of nutritional foods are filling up quick, and you're all anxious to help anybody who walks in the doors.

In Derry, there isn't much funding for volunteer work, so you do what you can— The local church offered up lodging for the soup kitchen, so you're all pretty thankful for the church leaders.

You study Stanley silently, his eyes focused and mild as he speaks with the woman. He's grown quite a bit since last summer, and he let his hair grow out a bit, so now it's a wild mess of curls. You like that he's eased up on the product, so he's all-natural. In order to catch what the woman is saying, he leans forward, in all his 5'8" glory.

He glances at you and places a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Thank you for telling me, Louanne. I'll see what I can do."

She smiles. "Bless you, Stephen."

You snort while she waddles off, and Stanley leans on the counter with his attention locked on you. There's a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"She seems sweet," You say, "How you liking volunteering, Stephen?"

He tries to prevent himself from laughing. "Stop! That's so mean, she's sick."

"What ever do you mean?" You quip, leaning on the counter next to him. Stan rubs your hair into a frizzy mess and stands tall.

"Uris, I need you over here on dishes," Willow, your team leader, shouts from across the kitchen. You can only briefly catch her curvy figure before she disappears behind the doorway.

"Nah, Willow, I got it! Stan's good with the old ladies. Real player, this one," You respond, poking Stan's stomach, "Maybe you'll get lucky."

"That's gross! Go away."

You laugh maniacally.

The dinner rush is heavy once seven hits, but it fades out at about 7:45. People are ecstatic that's it stew night because they are allowed to take a styrofoam bowl on the go. A few stragglers are permitted to camp the night out in the main hall, as the homeless aren't taken to kindly in Derry. Mayor claims it's 'bad' for traffic and tourism, but you know that Derry is the last place anyone would want to tour in. You're pretty sure it's been wiped off the maps, but that's a conspiracy theory for another time, one that Richie had so kindly coined.

Most of the kids who volunteer at the soup kitchen in the church are hoping to capture some hours for the college applications, but you volunteered because you felt like it was the right thing to do; It was simply convenient that it looked good on apps.

There's light shuffling and clanging as volunteers work to clear up the church for Sunday mass. You balance a tray of plates and glasses pressed against your chest with one arm, while you wipe down a table. There's a hand on your shoulder that suddenly startles you, causing you to drop the tray on instinct.

Glass shatters everywhere, then silence.

"Fuck!" You whisper violently, and you drop to your knees, frantically trying to pick up as many shards as possible before Willow comes screaming.

Beverly is beside you, as is Stanley, and all three of your try to clean the mess.

"God, I'm so sorry," Beverly says, "I didn't mean to freak you out."

"Uh, no, no, it's okay," You reply quickly, looking up at her. She smiles softly.

You flush and revert your attention back to the problem at hand. Your cheeks burn a bit, so you try to ignore it— But it leads to carelessness, and you give yourself a clean cut across your forefinger.

Hissing, you retract your hand and examine the damage. The minute you notice red, you become uneasy. Beverly and Stanley both take a sharp inhale.

"Oh, God— Uh, Stan, you got this? I'm gonna go get her cleaned up," Beverly says.

"Yeah, I got it."

"Thanks. C'mon, let's go," Beverly tells you, but you shake your head.

"I'm fine! S'just a cut. I can slap a bandaid on it later," You reassure her, but she's not having it.

"Now," She warns, gripping your arm softly.

Bottom line, Beverly Marsh can make you do anything she wants you to.

You kick your legs out in a steady beat, seated on a counter, while Bev digs around the first aid kit in the storage room. Her back is facing you, so you have a chance to study the freckles up the top of her spine and into her hairline.

You hold your right hand with your wrist, squeezing harder each time your wound throbs.

"Got it," Bev whispers, and she turns quickly. Positioning herself between your knees, she takes a hold of your finger and wipes it briefly with a wet cotton ball. Next, she uses a clean one to wipe disinfectant across the slit. "How bad does it hurt?"

You lie. "Not much."

Her blue eyes look at you with amusement. "Please."

"Okaaay. A bit more than 'not much'."

"Hm," Beverly applies a bit of cream on your cut. "What kind of bandaid do you want?"

She holds up plain, princess, and car bandaids.

"What the fuck are those? Gender-specific bandages?"

She says your name sternly.

You sigh. "Princess, please."

Beverly smiles and opens the package.

The room is quiet for all except the rustling of the paper, and you pop your mouth awkwardly.

"Hey," Bev says slowly, "Um, listen... You do realize that Stan—"

The door is cracked open and the curly head of Stanley peeks through. "Hey... The cut isn't bad, is it?"

You and Bev glance at each other, and Bev shakes her head.

"No, not at all. Just finishing up," She replies, sticking the pink bandaid on your wound. You hop down and wiggle your finger at Stanley with a grin.

"Good as new!"

He smiles softly. "Glad you're okay. I cleaned up all the glass, so don't worry about it."

"Okay! Thanks, Stan," You say, hooking your arm around his neck. He prickles a bit but relaxes immediately.

Beverly unties her apron and lays it on her forearm while she walks on your free side. "M' still upset Ben couldn't make it."

"Me too," You agree, "He was really looking forward to it."

"He can always go without us," Stan adds.

"It's not the same, though!" You say.

Stan shrugs.

It's humid outside the church, but that's to be expected during the summer. The sky is a deep cloudy sapphire, with the buzz of bugs filling the air. The older volunteers disappear into their cars while you, Stanley, and Beverly talk amongst yourselves. Bulbs above the entrance are the only source of light within a few yards.

Beverly puts her weight on her left foot, the gravel beneath her crackling while she recites a story Bill told her about local legends.

Just as she reaches the climax, the church doors creak open and Willow appears. She keeps her back to you while she locks the entrance, and once she turns, she eyes the three of you.

"Y'all need a ride?"

All of you glance at each other, and Stanley checks his watch.

"We'd love one!" You chirp, giving him a light shove.

"If it's alright with you, of course," Bev adds.

"I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't!" Willow says sharply, but without venom. "Hop in."

Somehow, you end up squeezed in the middle, with Stanley and Beverly on each of your sides. You scowl, eyeing the passenger seat with a purse in it.

Stan's clearly uncomfortable, his shoulders curved inward while he anxiously taps his kneecaps. He seems to be looking everywhere but at you and Bev.

"Everything okay?" You whisper.

He shrugs. "Yeah, just, uh— My mom isn't big on me getting home so late from the kitchen; She wants me to quit."

"That's fucked," You say.

"Hey!" Willow barks, glaring at you through the rearview mirror. "I may your super cool team leader, but I still don't appreciate you using a dirty mouth in my car."

You snicker, and she bursts into laughter.

Beverly pokes your shoulder. "Hey, um— Would... Would it be cool if I stayed with you tonight? My dad, he, um... He went out drinking when I woke up, so—"

"Of course," You interrupt. "Stay however long you need."

"Thanks..." Bev says quietly, and she leans against the window of the car.

Willow pulls up into your driveway within five minutes, and Bev steps out. You make an effort to give Stan a brief hug before you go, and he gives you a little wave as Willow leaves.

You and Bev remain quiet when you sneak into the house through the front door, in fear you might wake your mother. When you enter the living room and see the woman's knocked out cold with the television on, you wave Beverly upstairs. She obliges.

You creep up to your mother and crouch next to her head. She's got a bit of drool pooling on the cushion, and you crinkle your nose.

Retrieving a pillow from a loveseat, you tuck it gently beneath her head and pull a blanket over her. Giving her a quick kiss on the forehead, you leave a glass of water and ibuprofen on the coffee table.

"Does she always do that?" Is the first thing Bev says when you reach your bedroom. You're a bit taken aback, but you regroup swiftly.

"Yeah. She gets these really bad migraines," You explain, leaving your bag on the floor and kicking off your sneakers. "And, um, they can sometimes turn into seizures, so we try to let her sleep as comfortably as possible."

"Oh," Bev says, "Can I borrow some pajamas?"

"Yeah!" You reply, "Just grab something from the closet or my drawers."

"'Kay," She snags a blank tank while you pick out a yellow nightgown. You're facing the mirror when Beverly pulls off her t-shirt, and you nearly choke. You can't seem to take your eyes off her back, even when you know you've been staring for too long. "Is your little brother asleep?"

You drop your attention to the floor and quickly pull off your shirt. "Yeah, should be. I'll kill the little shithead if he's not."

Bev smiles. "He's a good kid; If he's awake, he's probably reading. He likes to read, right?"

"Yup," You pop the 'p', "He's into numbers and all that. I'll never understand it."

"He probably thinks the same thing about your art, you know."

You hum and pull the nightgown over your head. "Everybody thinks that way about art, Bev. If you're not dedicated to a nine to five office job, then you're somehow a deadbeat, leaching off the productive middle class."

Bev laughs gently, and it's airy and elegant and perfect. "You're always opinionated, you know that?"

When you toss her a quizzical look, she elaborates and walks over to face you. "Not in a negative way; It's like... It's like you must have all these thoughts swimming around in that pretty head of yours."

Pretty?

Beverly continues. "I mean, you're just so... I don't know? Most people don't care about anything, let alone the world or society. You're bound to make a difference."

You blink at her, your fairy lights hanging loosely from your window and spreading a gold light. Her ocean eyes are iridescent. She's iridescent. Her pink lips curve into a smile, and she glances at the floor.

"What?" She whispers.

You sputter. "N-Nothing. Just, um— Thanks. Thank you, really. I— I just, nobody's taken me that seriously before," You explain, tucking a thick strand of hair behind your ear. "I've always just been Loudmouth."

Bev's face melts into one of sympathy and curiosity, her long eyelashes brushing her cheeks. Gingerly, she places a hand on your shoulder, one that shoots electricity throughout your skin. Her grip tightens. "Listen. Quiet people don't do shit, okay? People who keep their opinions to themselves don't make history."

You shrug a shoulder and give her a lopsided smile. "I can't even make a difference in backwater Derry. How the hell am I supposed to change the world?"

Outside, rain begins to patter restlessly against your windowsill, keeping the stars awake. Inside, Beverly looks at you like she just might think you're a goddess.

"You've already changed mine."

Your entire life, people have told you how the world has to be: Simple, honest, and conservative. They've told you who to be, who to love, what to do. It's always been "you'll meet someone who makes you feel like the world is glowing", followed by, "don't rush, you'll find him soon". What if you don't want to find him? What if you want to find her?

What if you already have?

Beverly Marsh is incomparably the prettiest girl you've ever seen when she's jumping from the cliff into the lake below.

Scratch that, she's incomparably the prettiest girl you've ever seen, and she makes your universe glow.

She's a flash of red, shimmering, shining, iridescent; A ruby tossed into the sky like a plain penny into a wishing well.

She's radiant, tomboyish, and beautiful.

Beverly, in all her elegance, has learned to tame your chaotic hair, your wild eyes, and the crooked pair of overalls that swallowed your thighs. Her, that gentle smile, rendered you speechless daily. You, notoriously nicknamed Loudmouth or Mouth, were silent for her.

You've already changed mine.

"Hey, Mouth! The hell are you gawking at?"

Richie Tozier waves a hand in front of you and you crank your eyes up to his squinting face. His freckles surround the massive pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose, and his black hair nearly blinds him.

You throw up a palm to block the sun, but his giant head is doing most of the work. "Your mother over there in her Sunday best."

If he swung his body around any quicker, his head might have popped off like a Barbie doll. He gazes off into the woods across the quarry, his lips upturned in an unattractive flytrap.

Beverly slips her cream-colored gown off her pale shoulders, drawing all eyes to her. The sun beats down on her chopped red locks, accenting the constellation of freckles along her nose, and warming your flesh under its rays.

Catching the way they all gaze at her, as starstruck as yourself, it hits you like a freight train— you weren't looking at her like you should have been.

Under the intensity of her icy blue gaze, you feel so small; so homely. Your chest aches, but that girl doesn't give you time to grieve. She is in the air in a split second, high like an angel, falling towards the murky waters below.

The boys crowd around the cliff's edge, mouths gaping, eyes bright. It strikes you from the heavens, like a harsh cacophony: These aren't your boys anymore.

You had slipped out of the world briefly, and before long, you are alone at the edge.

Sandy curls appear in front of your face, tilting to reveal the kind eyes of Stanley Uris. His mouth forms a firm line. He seems to be at war with himself as he stares out into the blue sky, dotted with white clouds.

He stays silent for a moment, searching for the right words. "I want to go last," He finally breathes, seemingly triumphed in his verbiage, "I don't want them to see me cross my fingers behind my back before I go."

The vulnerability he expresses warms your heart, and you grin up at him, having gained your confidence back. You are grateful he didn't pry into your dilemma. You didn't expect otherwise, but it was still nice. Stanley is a boy of few words, but the word 'shy' doesn't fit right, as it implies bashfulness or a sweet innocence.

Rather, he prefers the quality of speech over quantity, believing that the chattiest voices aren't always the loudest. A respectable notion, sure, but you tend to believe it in theory rather than in practice.

Stanley's thin frame makes no unnecessary movements, but rather awaits yours. One of his hands cuffs the other in front of his hips. The cool breeze had only an inch to squeeze between within the crevice of your shoulders.

You pull your yellow scrunchie from your hair, and wrap it around your wrist, as Stanley speaks, "Promise not to tell?"

“Pinky promise,” You insist, holding up the smallest finger on your right hand. When his wraps around yours, you toss him a childlike grin. “I never break them.”

You're gone, cascading down towards the green waters, each wave crystallizing in your descent.

"I know."

Stanley crosses his fingers behind his back and steps off the cliff's rocky edge.

Stan’s dive is a flash of gold: Like a bird, graceful in its dip, his curls like its wings.

You find yourself wanting to ask him what it's like to fly.

The water is cool, luckily fizzling the heat out of your cheeks when Beverly appears beside you, grinning softly at—

Bill.

You swallow thickly and turn your head to Richie and Eddie arguing about something pointless. Richie's skin is set ablaze every time Eddie points a finger at him or moves closer.

Across from you, Ben's eyes are set on your face, and you nearly jump when yours land on them. He sputters silently and glances over to the boulders near the trees.

You tilt your head in question, "Ben, what is it?" It's too late now, but you realize you weren't very subtle. At all.

He facepalms. "Can we, uh...?"

Nodding in understanding, you doggy paddle through the lake and onto the shore. Ben is quickly beside you.

The boy leads you over to the boulders and sits on a large one. His hands are glued to his knees, and you can tell he's anxious.

You lean your elbows on your thighs and wait.

"U-U-Um— Can I..? Would you..?" He shakes his head suddenly and regroups. "I need— I need help with something..."

"...Okay..?" You gesture for him to elaborate.

"Can you help me write love notes to Beverly?" He spits out softly, and you choke on your own spit.

You stand up abruptly, like you sat on a pin, and cross your arms. Your brows curl inward in confusion, embarrassment, and anxiety. "W-What? Sorry, I don't— Why?"

"Because... You are a girl, you know? You know a lot more personal stuff about her, I think, right?" He asks, rubbing his clammy palms together.

"Uh," You run your fingers up your arm, "I guess? I don't think... That would be... She doesn't..."

He gives you an awkward crooked smile. "I mean, it's okay 'cause you're a girl. I wanted to ask Bill or someone else but since they're guys it might be different..."

"H-How so?"

"Well— You know. They might secretly like her or something," Ben says, staring at the dirt by his feet.

You swallow, and glance out to the water; To where she is. Beverly meets your eyes and smiles gently. Your stomach does a flip.

"Can I— Can I think about it?" You inquire softly, and Ben nods swiftly.

"Yes! Yes, of course. That's okay," He sounds a bit sad.

You reach out and rub his shoulder. "You're an amazing person, Ben, you know that? She'd love anything you wrote to her."

You smile crookedly, the corner of your mouth twitching.

Ben nods slowly and shakes his arms a bit to free himself of nerves. "You're right— I should just be more confident..."

He's obviously trying to convince himself more than you.

"Bev—" He shouts suddenly, and she looks over with a grin. One of her hands runs through her hair, and you can feel her eyes burning holes in your face just seconds before she focuses on him. "You look beautiful today!"

Beverly Marsh smiles ever so gently, her cheeks blossoming in a shade of scarlet. The freckles lining the bridge of her nose accent the brightness of her eyes, and you swallow thickly.

She really does.

Tapping a pen against a thick sheet of paper, you push your tongue against your cheek and read over the words again.

PROS:

♡ helping ben!

♡ practicing writing!

♡ practicing stationary!

♡ getting ben and bev together!

♡ making bev feel good!

♡ getting over the butterflies?

You scowl. The hell does that mean? You glance at the clock, which reads 8:37. You consider the pros to writing anonymous love letters to Beverly, which seems to be a lot— And the selfish part of you tells you that it would be beneficial to you— How so? You're not quite sure, as admitting to yourself that it even took nearly an hour.

Within your friend group, you've always been relatively open— Keeping up with honesty, kindness, and always wearing your heart on your sleeve. Stanley said it was naive to do so, but you feel that in a world that is so blatantly harsh and negative, being real with those around you is a heap of good. So why is it suddenly so difficult to be honest with yourself?

You concentrate your thoughts of Beverly, so that you might understand, or in the least identify, what exactly your true intentions with her are. Immediately, your stomach curls, and you feel your insides turn to mush. These sensations are familiar— You've had countless encounters with them.

You picture her in your head, memorize the features of her that always seem to stick when she's around. Her red hair, her freckles, those eyes... And her lips. The curve of them when she grins, or laughs— And briefly, ever so, you imagine what'd they'd be like pressed against yours—

"Hey," Your mom says, your door now swung open, and you scream, tipping out of your desk chair. You land flat against your back and groan.

Your heart beats painfully in your ribcage.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Come do the dishes," She tells you, and you nod profusely.

You inhale through your nostrils and run your fingers through your hair, sighing. Once she's gone, you push your head into the crook of your elbow.

Tears unravel into your arm.

Why did it have to be Beverly Marsh?

[ 🌱 ] taglist (from original write):

@hannarudick @cedricisnotonfire @russian-romanova @pacifythepanda @queen1054 @thebitchiestnerdtowalktheearth @delicrieux (you get to be on here cuz.. i said so).

#beverly marsh x reader #stanley uris x reader #it 2017 #it fanfiction #stanley uris imagine #beverly marsh imagine #kassiewrites #chapter one #BW #bw rewrite #the birdwatcher & his lover #the birdwatcher series #kassie writes

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

Text

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Ready for 💔 💔 💔? Jimmy: didn't bring a 🎻 in but there'll probably be a 🌧 about in a bit so go on Janis: Clearly you didn't watch enough back to school hauls to adequately prepare yourself Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: you'll never guess who found her way to the 'how to catch a man' side of youtube though Jimmy: if it's Helena I really am fucking gutted Janis: Unlikely Janis: less she starts making a big deal out of how her MASSIVE TITS are slowly crippling her Janis: 🐰 has gone full 🐰🥘🥣 Jimmy: what the fuck kind of emojis are them? Janis: it's not my fault there's not a decent pot! Janis: also pretend to be gutted or she will be Jimmy: [draws her a lil pot emoji obvs] Jimmy: Who's pretending? 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have to console thinking about Helena's MASSIVE tits Janis: 👏 dead convincing there Janis: like 💀👑 trying to talk her out of it 'cos she's FUMING Jimmy: should've asked me to do the job for her Janis: check your DMs I'm sure she has Jimmy: [sends her some of the hilarious random DMs he has been sent lately like a highlight reel] Janis: the 💦💦 is endless Janis: you're SUCH old 🗞s Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: at least you don't have to waste a load of 💸 on tat for her in a months time Janis: which is the only reason she's decided to get in a VERY committed relationship with a 13-year-old in the year below Jimmy: Tah for the reminder to crack on with this fake break up before then Jimmy: good job our kid's young as he is or I'd have to 🔐 Janis: I'm the one doing the breaking up, remember that first Janis: seriously though Janis: doing my head in Janis: get yourself 💐🍫 if you're this arsed gals Jimmy: 💰 on loads of 'em doing that Jimmy: should probably set up that 💌 bollocks you were on about before Janis: boys handwriting would be invaluable to 'em Janis: can't stop dotting their ❓ with ❤ Jimmy: can write with both hands an' all so it won't even be knackering Janis: show-off Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: just leave your shit chat up lines like that out Janis: dead giveaway Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I know what I'm doing Jimmy: just gotta decide who I wanna send ones that ain't been paid for to for the #drama Jimmy: and whose name I wanna 🖋 Janis: [list of the 'loved up' couples of the moment that ain't them] Janis: stick whoever you wanna see get smacked on there Janis: easy Jimmy: this school have a postbox for it or what? Janis: yeah Janis: any excuse to be cringe Jimmy: I'll make sure yours is MASSIVE, don't worry and a top work of 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: 😘 Janis: my biggest concern, OBVS Janis: if you're still here I can do it the day of for all the 💔 points for you Jimmy: we're all 🤞 Lucas'll get on the roof 💐🍫😍 and fall off but you might have to put up with ✨ pissing out all over you when you open a card from me and nowt else Jimmy: that's your 💔 Janis: looking for broken 🦴s Janis: disappointing but not surprising Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll get on the roof Janis: bet we can Jimmy: let's go then Janis: now? Jimmy: you got owt else on? Janis: obviously not Jimmy: so come on Janis: be easiest to get up there from outside the music room Janis: do you know where that is? Jimmy: direct me Janis: [do that] Janis: wait for me if you get there first Janis: sir is insisting I can't go piss because someone else just did, as if our bladders are connected Jimmy: can't do that to lasses hasn't he heard Jimmy: tell him you're about to 💀💀💀 of toxic shock Janis: sadly raging at him over my blob gives off big angry lesbian vibes Janis: and I don't actually have a bloody tampon to throw at him Janis: I'll just leave in a sec but he's being a twat Jimmy: have to be the fake pregnancy fall back AGAIN Janis: one up Asia's news a bit Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long ago were the PE cupboard 💕? Janis: I haven't got a diary Jimmy: 😱😱 It weren't the best day of your life! 😱😱 Janis: best OF the day, how about that? Jimmy: bit rude of Asia to nick your phone Jimmy: I get that she don't want her big day ruined but Janis: 😏 Janis: like she's suddenly a top codebreaker Jimmy: #plottwist Janis: 🤓🤓💕 you 2 Jimmy: you 2 more like Jimmy: her being a dickhead means she likes you, DUH Jimmy: must be what the phone nicking were really about Janis: plottwist, they're all massive gays Jimmy: they're going on about sleepovers whenever I open the group chat Janis: you're that cliche? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: just saying it won't be a massive plot twist Janis: in your dreams, dickhead Jimmy: *nightmares Janis: 👻 do I hear someone protesting? Jimmy: Bill's lurking about loads when I get fuck all 😴 he knows I ain't pissing about wasting what dreams I do have Janis: Nice of him to entertain you Jimmy: you've seen my other offers Jimmy: didn't fancy none of them Janis: Fair Janis: he's got some witty bants at least Jimmy: he does alright Janis: better than the alternatives Janis: if I had a sleeping pill hookup, I'd take 'em myself Jimmy: you wanna watch out on that roof, mate, dunno how he'll feel about such a backhanded compliment Jimmy: steady on, bit rude to all the 🐑 hanging about for you to count, that Jimmy: how many #haters you want? Janis: you can pretend you pushed me if you're worried Jimmy: I 💭 that were the point of going up there Jimmy: no need to pretend owt Jimmy: we'll both be 💀💀💀 Janis: alright Janis: [show up] Jimmy: ['bit awkward if you've found a will to live' said like a saucy challenge] Janis: [just a look like does it look like I have? as much of a challenge as we try to find the way up onto the roof 'cos you know it's not that well hidden or secured] Jimmy: [a LOOK because always but we're also helping not just making intense eye contact forever lol] Janis: [remembering our sims school there was multiple levels so maybe you can get on the second story roof if not the third, anyway, letting you 'cos we can, even if you've got to do some lowkey parkour here, help each other and don't die] Jimmy: [it's a mood so we must, I hope your ribs are a bit more healed boy, don't do yourself further injury please] Janis: [rest when you're up there and we're just LOOKing at you like what now] Jimmy: [lighting up 🚬 for you both and doing heart shaped smoke rings because we're on a vday theme which you can totally show her how to do for some #content while you're up there] Janis: [can only imagine the funny face you're gonna have to pull to achieve that which thank god or it'd be too hot already] Jimmy: [all I can think about is when Liam and Edie were on the roof of that house they were staying in and he said he loved her so RIP me and them] Janis: [oh yes I remember that, soz we killed you guys] Jimmy: [anyway give her whatever doodle you've done today as well so she can have it in person cos I like to think you've not seen each other yet] Janis: [always love that, so much that we have to walk away and be peering over the edge dangerously just to diffuse that situation] Jimmy: [jimothy will probably pee over the edge just cos he can haha] Janis: [boy perks] Jimmy: [and they were talking about going for a piss and stuff like that always makes you want to] Janis: [you can't girl we're not falling off forreal, so hold it and contend with finding shit to throw onto the next roof down] Jimmy: [likewise join in with throwing stuff until there's nothing left and you can take your turn to LOOK at her like what now] Janis: [sharing that intense eye-contact for forever like] Jimmy: [we're not breaking it but we are pulling her closer to us] Janis: [writing 'morning' somewhere on his arm, whether we have to pull up his blazer or whatever to do that, we is] Jimmy: [writes 'good' on her in the same place because it is a good morning now we've seen the bae] Janis: [✔ like same] Jimmy: [teach her how to sign it because why not] Janis: ['we get it, you're good with your hands' 'cos mentioning being ambidexterous earlier and we KNOW so] Jimmy: [😏 and kiss her like excuse you I'm good at this too] Janis: [no room or energy to disagree here hen] Jimmy: [nobody's likely to appear and interrupt you up here lads so just enjoy that alone time] Janis: [we know we're gonna, even though it's January and this is scandalous because duh, how can we not] Jimmy: [you have done and will do way worse so] Janis: [should post those unfy smoking roof pics as we're getting down though so everyone knows you were up there but teachers can't actually prove that you were so] Jimmy: [if the teachers are checking your socials they'll get arrested hens] Janis: [easy mr lucas] Jimmy: [but yeah everyone will be well jel, blatantly gonna be a new thing for everyone to try and go to the roof now] Janis: [have fun getting caught losers lool] Jimmy: [not soz you'll never be JJ and living in a rom com] Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 😇🏹💕 Janis: You got the little nappy outfit ready to go, yeah? Jimmy: #kinkunlocked I get it Janis: 'course Janis: what girl wouldn't be 😍 Jimmy: 💀👑 probably prefers wearing them, THANK GOD she's not my target audience Janis: did she ever fake that she was 😍 over you? Jimmy: and have to put owt in the tip jar? Jimmy: SO funny, you Janis: cheek when she's allegedly the most minted Janis: making Asia make it rain 💦💸 Janis: mad she really don't fancy anyone who's not 50% of her though Jimmy: that'll be how she stays 💰💰💰 Janis: keep it in the family? Janis: 👍 Janis: bit extreme but Jimmy: if it were her only reason Jimmy: but she's OBVS 😍😍🤤 an' all Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: she in your lesson? Janis: Yeah Janis: and #2 Jimmy: What do you wanna do that'll do their heads in? Janis: 💡❓ Janis: all they keep talking about is Asia and her new boyfriend Janis: how do we pull focus from how un-goals that is when we're always 💯 Jimmy: could just break them up Janis: I'm not fucking a 13-year-old and I don't think it's a good look for you either Jimmy: never said we had to do owt with him but get in his head Jimmy: not like it'd be hard to convince the lad she's being a massive slag Janis: true, true Janis: she's only gone with him 'cos she knows he ain't gonna dump her because older girl clout Janis: and she wants the 🎁🎁 Janis: well rude Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: the school therapist'll be after him when Asia's done if Lucas ain't Janis: honestly Janis: only the right thing to do Jimmy: [edits some of the many Mia cheating pics they have to look like it could be Asia but in a pisstakey way because we're literally in class so we can't do it properly but like in a is this worth doing way] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: that's nightmare fuel, for sure Janis: no wonder you ain't sleeping Jimmy: sleep paralysis demon, her Janis: terrifying, poor boy Janis: but she's got way too many pounds on 💀👑 for that to work Janis: 🤔 what if there was somewhere else he'd rather be Janis: no matter how 🔥 she reckons her 🍑 is Jimmy: not gonna get my sister with him now he's been anywhere near her Janis: Not exactly what I had in mind Janis: bit weird your head went there, tbh but still Janis: you wanna throw a party anyway, yeah Janis: why not do it then a fuck over any girl thinking she's getting a romantic date night? Jimmy: bit weird they're the same age @Asia with that one Jimmy: but DUH Janis: she's only 14, being fair Janis: sounding more and more like 💀👑 by the second Janis: obvs it goes against every dating rule she has so she's 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: feels dead wrong to split 'em up if that's what she wants Janis: at least it'd give them something else to chat about Janis: all this 💘 is making me sick already Jimmy: has to be a way to do that any road, it's fucking ages til we can have that party if we're doing it then Janis: yeah, I guess so Janis: well keep 💭 then Jimmy: I were 💭 what's another 🎁 that ain't another desk? Jimmy: any 🥇💡s? Janis: 'cos I just do this shit all the time Janis: I don't know Jimmy: Oi, don't be getting mardy with me, I only asked Janis: well don't bother asking questions I clearly don't have the answer to Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you already do all the drawings and far more shit than any lad they go out with Janis: like the whole point Janis: I don't know how we'd up that Jimmy: I said alright Janis: now who's being moody Jimmy: you Jimmy: that'll be why I'm leaving it out Janis: piss off then Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: nothing, what's wrong with you? Jimmy: you're being a dickhead Janis: how am I? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: let's just drop it Janis: sure whatever lesson you're in is as equally thrilling as mine Jimmy: or just tell me what's wrong Jimmy: 'cause you were alright a bit ago Janis: I'm just Janis: it don't matter Janis: it's fine Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it can be Janis: 🤫 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: come on Janis: it's alright Janis: just everyone else getting on my nerves, as per Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what? Janis: be my mate Jimmy: I am Janis: sorry, alright Jimmy: what were it you said, it don't matter Janis: yeah but Janis: change the subject or something Jimmy: put me on the spot a bit there, dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: but you're such a natural conversationalist Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can't stop thinking about you long enough to put a sentence together Janis: that's very smooth considering Janis: keep saying things like that, who wouldn't be jealous Jimmy: just how I feel, must not have as many dickheads in this lesson as you Jimmy: ☀ Janis: I'm not not thinking about you Janis: I just don't know what to do about that Janis: maybe less so Jimmy: What do you wanna do about it? Janis: how many lessons you reckon we can realistically walk out of? Jimmy: the rest of 'em Janis: Why are we even staying? Jimmy: we're not Janis: That is the best idea you've ever had Jimmy: I dunno, I reckoned the roof were a decent shout Jimmy: but I get it, soz it took me fucking ages Janis: You didn't get how I felt about the roof? Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: might've had some idea Janis: I can show you again but you know Janis: little rude Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Crap with words but there's loads else I can do Jimmy: I were gonna say I heard what I needed to up there but Jimmy: there's loads else I want to Janis: Don't be #overit yet Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: you just want me to 🗨 how not over it I am Janis: so? Jimmy: I already did do Janis: then I must've really meant it Jimmy: you've got nowt to worry about Janis: good Jimmy: Where we going? Janis: We can go to mine if you don't wanna go to yours Janis: or do you wanna go DO something Jimmy: be #goals whatever happens Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: I'm not thinking about #goals even though that's true Janis: I am thinking about how many times I could make you cum on that fucking bus ride Janis: come to mine, no one will be there, so there's loads of things we can do Jimmy: I just meant that bit don't matter but if I were thinking it did before I don't now Jimmy: and you've already sold me on the fucking bus ride so owt else is a bonus Janis: 😁 seems like a bit of a pisstake but Jimmy: it won't be Jimmy: except for the 👵🚍👀 Janis: They go to town at the crack of dawn Janis: shouldn't be loads Janis: but I can make you forget about that as well Jimmy: I don't care if there is loads Jimmy: I told you, I can't stop thinking about you Janis: It's distracting Janis: you are Janis: but fuck this place anyway Jimmy: *you are Janis: you started it Janis: and I'm not sorry Jimmy: I'm not sorry I started it Janis: Good Janis: it's Janis: working for me Jimmy: you'll forget about whatever's doing your head in in a bit Janis: already have Jimmy: come here then Janis: only if you ask again Jimmy: please Janis: 😍 Janis: okay Janis: [run babies run] Jimmy: [I know you only just went back from the hols but fuck school tbh] Janis: [we aren't that bothered ever but truly, you're both smart enough to pass just fine, we got life to be living and love to be falling into] Jimmy: [got a really long bus ride to be extra through soz not soz it's a whole vibe] Janis: [we're about it, and we can show you the actual decent stuff about the cali residence 'cos it's not the place we dislike it's the people rn soz guys] Jimmy: [we all know it's a cool af house even if there are a 10000000000000 cats] Janis: [lmao, at least they gonna be less fussy than Twix so you'll be alright lads] Jimmy: [have a lovely time but probably avoid your room gal since we're not drunk af like we were on christmas eve] Janis: [we know there's nothing there to show it's fine, y'all can chill wherever you want] Jimmy: [love it for you, honestly surprised you ever bother going to school rn tbh] Janis: [only 'cos we clearly can't hang around mcvickers 'cos they're both old enough to be retired even if they're only semi-retired, and you have to take Bobby to school so like, may as well not like you can get extra shifts when they know you're 15 and not out of school] Jimmy: [and it's an easy way to be #goals as they've already proved with the desk escapades] Janis: [mhmm, and an excuse to see each other you so don't need now but you know] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do we wanna do anything when they are at the gaff etc?} Jimmy: [probably nothing too heavy but if you've got anything you want to happen we can] Janis: [lbr, we know we're being cute af and saucy] Jimmy: [I'm devastated that you can't stay forever as will you be, but at least you'll have a fair while even with the long af bus which is only gonna be fun on the way there unless you're leaving together too] Janis: [you should probably stay gal as the school will call to say you went missing and you'd be better to deal with that rather than have her think you've run away again lol] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [Gonna be fun going home to Ian, I hope for your sake boy you've got work for a bit first for that reprieve even though it'll probably make him angrier cos you're gone longer] Jimmy: 🥺👋 Janis: [mhmm, like get over it Ian it's one day but ANYWAY] Janis: I wish I could've come Jimmy: and I wish I could've hung about a bit longer Janis: fucking real life, eh Jimmy: nowt'll be more 💔 than if the ☕ start cracking on making themselves and I have to look out for a new way to earn 💰 Jimmy: but I get that you wanna be my fantasy, girl so I won't call it a bit rude that you're 🗨 all that just then were fake Janis: Never happen Janis: they like the fake smile on your face when you give it 'em Janis: not fake Janis: just not 💩 like the rest Jimmy: I'll take all them assurances, tah for not getting too near a compliment Jimmy: thought it were gonna be a bit touch and go at the end there Janis: not to mention the carnage if it was self-service Janis: only afford the steam burns if they're paying you minimum wage Janis: 😘 Janis: shut up Jimmy: not just any dickhead can pull off that many scars Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: 😏 Janis: I get it, you want MORE compliments Janis: not like I just spent all day showing you how hot I think you are Jimmy: or more worthwhile wounds Jimmy: unless you're gonna kick off about there being no more time or space for them an' all Janis: Oi Janis: don't make me sound like that bitch Janis: cheek Janis: 🔪 you any time you like, you know that Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: can never have it in writing too many times Janis: you trying to get me done for not keeping my word? Jimmy: 👮🚔 Jimmy: don't bother going back on it and you'll be alright Janis: should've known Janis: you're all the same Jimmy: can't 🗨 you didn't know what you were getting into, Jennifer Jimmy: 🐷💕 Janis: my dads rolling in his grave Jimmy: still 🤞 you and your fake tan'll put mine in his Janis: I'll put on my nan's accent Janis: turn it up a notch Jimmy: 😂 Janis: or just intro them Janis: he'd feel so #attacked Jimmy: only if you can promise me she'll chuck a bible at him Janis: 🤞 Janis: can't promise much about her but it's 99% Jimmy: it's a date then 🍷🍞 Janis: 😂 Janis: enjoy Jimmy: be PROPER awks if we've misread this and she ends up my new mum Janis: She's still got delusions about being the pastor's wife Janis: she's too nosy to settle down and have her own life anyway, you're fine Jimmy: poor bloke Janis: your dad or father daddy? Jimmy: not chucking any sympathy Ian's way Jimmy: he's always got the full orchestra playing for himself, there's no need Janis: got ya Janis: I'll make it up to him whenever I get 'round the repenting Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: bit of time with me on my knees'll sort him right out Janis: fuck off Janis: we're not sharing Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos I want him Janis: get your own boyfriend, bitch Jimmy: thank GOD Pete'll be in Janis: 😒 Janis: shot myself in the foot there Jimmy: made your 🛏 have to lie in it with the hot priest, you Janis: 😣 😖 😫 Janis: don't be mean Janis: it was an involuntary reaction Janis: being a twin means you don't want to share anything Jimmy: you're alright, I'm more forgiving than him and his mate in the ☁s Jimmy: might let you be my mate again eventually Janis: aaaaand share your boyfriend, yeah? Janis: thanks 💖 Jimmy: be up to him, that Jimmy: but agreeing to having a go at being his lead 🎤's bound to make up his mind Jimmy: the lad he got last time you said no is shite Janis: Oh God Janis: do they play the CG? Janis: 😬 Jimmy: that gonna make you rush in or steer clear? Janis: I'm not sure I can fake the enthusiasm Janis: and yes, that IS saying something, thank you Janis: tell him to 📞 me if they ever start getting paid Jimmy: @ him yourself Jimmy: loads of jobs but none of 'em are as your messenger boy Jimmy: ain't chucked 🗞️🗞️🗞️ about for ages Janis: you're such a slag Janis: called playing it cool Janis: look it up 🤓 Jimmy: look up frigid Jimmy: 🥶🥶🧊 Janis: piss off Jimmy: didn't reckon on that rumour being the one that were true but here we are Janis: don't be a twat Janis: you literally know it isn't Jimmy: still feel free to remind me whenever you like Janis: yeah, really convincing that Jimmy: What, you need MORE convincing than earlier on? Janis: oh, now you're calling me a slag Janis: make up your mind and shut up, yeah? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you planning to leave me with my 💭 this whole 🚍 ride? Janis: I should Janis: but it is longer than the journey to hell so Jimmy: you have left me loads to think about, give you that Jimmy: 🏆🥇 Janis: it's mutual Janis: is an understatement Jimmy: yeah, I felt that Janis: bit rude Janis: every time I think seeing you is gonna get you out of my head Janis: never does though Jimmy: bit rude that you want me out when you've said you've not got owt else on Janis: yeah but I can't be around you all the time so it's just inconvenient Jimmy: I'm not stopping you and my 👻 manager'd have a job to Jimmy: and we've already proved school can't Janis: If you're still there when I've dealt with my ma Janis: could Jimmy: if not you know where else I'll be Janis: yeah Janis: I do have work to do and all though Jimmy: OBVS Jimmy: 🐕's can't 🏃 themselves without the owners getting right mardy Janis: Thank God Janis: can't be arsed to sing for my supper yet Jimmy: after though Jimmy: you can do us a lullaby Janis: you just want me to sleep over Jimmy: Oi, don't make me sound like them huns Janis: 💅💄🍿☕️🧸💖 Janis: you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: will you hang about if I let you chuck 🧸s about and smack me with a pillow or what? Janis: your nightmare not mine Janis: but as you asked nicely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What song do you want? Janis: 🎶😴 Jimmy: what song do you wanna do? Janis: [list off some hilariously inappropriate lullabies] Jimmy: number 6 Janis: 😏 Janis: thank god the little ones deaf Janis: hate to be a bad influence Jimmy: 🖍👂 were bad enough Janis: mini 💘story is worse Jimmy: but that's nowt to do with us Janis: 'course not Janis: so pure and real Jimmy: be worse if they hated each other like him and Amsterdam, never be able to chuck him anywhere Janis: yeah Janis: and she's annoying whatever she's 🗨 about so makes no odds to me Jimmy: we better start being the NICEST ever to your nan so he can sleep there and not piss on our party plans Janis: that'll involve you not being as nice as you wanna, perv Janis: tone it down Jimmy: tone down your jealousy, Jules, I'll come to your window an' all Janis: She don't fancy you, sorry to break it to you Jimmy: she's not gonna admit it to you, dickhead Janis: She's not gonna be able to fake that with a remotely straight face, more like Jimmy: must be where you get it from Janis: better than you Jimmy: bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: no Jimmy: based on what? Janis: erm, all my performances vs yours, OBVS Jimmy: mine's been as good as yours Janis: hmm Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you're just being a twat 'cause your fit nan 💕s me Janis: and you're just mad 'cos Will wouldn't even cast you as a background character Jimmy: he has done so that's even more bollocks you're chatting now Jimmy: should be chuffed she's not going blind, babe Janis: bit awkward to boot you now Janis: massive head, takes a lot to shift Jimmy: far as excuses go, a TOP athlete like you should have better Jimmy: 🥉 if that Janis: let me start auditions first, arsehole Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: stop it Janis: you're the one being a twat, twat Jimmy: how am I? Janis: Where do I start? Janis: I'd rather just not, as I just said Jimmy: at buying some time before you have a proper go 'cause you know I've done nowt wrong, by the sounds of it Jimmy: but alright Janis: I didn't say you'd done anything wrong Janis: just that you were being annoying on purpose Jimmy: Why would I bother with that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: the answer is I obvs wouldn't Janis: OBVS Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you stop it Janis: I'm not doing anything Janis: so yeah, alright Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: I'd be in the group chat if I were trying to 🗨 in 👍👌🙄 Janis: not my job to entertain you is it Jimmy: I never said it were Jimmy: if you were on the clock it wouldn't be like pulling 🦷🦷 trying to have a word Janis: oh, whatever Janis: I don't like talking, that's not news and it's none of your business Jimmy: and you've heard I like talking to you when you're not being a MASSIVE dickhead Jimmy: give me a clue when that'll be Janis: I've got other shit on Jimmy: and I've not? Janis: I never said you didn't Janis: that was you Jimmy: I'm just not using it as a bollocks excuse to be a twat Janis: I'm not excusing anything, I'm saying you don't know what I do or don't have on, at any point Jimmy: 'cause it's none of my business, you just said Janis: basically, yeah Jimmy: whatever, as you said an' all Jimmy: in a bit Janis: later then Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you're gonna have to leave this some time and I'm gonna have to fix it, well done gal, not leaving it too long though 'cos not that deep so just deal with it, you could still be on the bus tbh lmao] Jimmy: [seeds are being sown and honestly yeah it is a really long bus ride I hope you left yourself enough time boy or you'll be late for work] Janis: sorry, okay Janis: just ignore me, I'm just stressed Janis: you've not done anything Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: how stressed you are Janis: yeah, I know Janis: you don't need that ever Janis: let alone before work Jimmy: @iantaylor8 before I get back, might stop him getting a mard on an' all Janis: He's gonna be raging? Jimmy: when's he not? Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to bits I gave him something to have a go about Jimmy: you talk to your mum yet? Janis: Any excuse Janis: not like we had anything important on today Janis: or ever, really but you know Janis: she won't be back for a bit Janis: just avoiding my sisters in the meantime Jimmy: how many 🐕s you done? Janis: got six here that all walk together alright, get that in before she's back Jimmy: 💰 on my sister not having done ours, you can use that as a reason to piss off when you need Janis: If she ain't seething, might drop me off Janis: save the dog's bladder bursting whilst the bus goes round every fucking street on the way Jimmy: didn't go back at lunch, might already be 💀💀💀 Janis: shit Janis: what time is your dad back? Jimmy: probably will be, have to check the 👞👟🥾 Jimmy: house'll be trashed if nowt else Jimmy: meant to be 🕠 but it never is Janis: I can leave a note at mine Janis: be there well before he is Janis: only took a day off, say I got that period or whatever Jimmy: not your problem, no need to cause any with your mum for the 🐕's sake Janis: it's not a problem Janis: just replying that I hadn't run away earlier when the school messaged her was more than enough Jimmy: alright Janis: won't charge extra for mopping up piss Janis: didn't think, when I said we should go to mine Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: mop up piss or 💭🐕💔 Janis: you can't, you're already doing a job so Jimmy: he can get the mop out, it were his 🥇💡 to get a dog Janis: may as well though Jimmy: IOU then Janis: nah Janis: 'cos IOU Jimmy: Oi, don't be turning me down Jimmy: any time you fancy having a piss on my floor, I'll sort it Janis: 😂 Janis: thanks Janis: big #kinkunlocked obviously Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I'm allowing it Janis: Well considerate of you Jimmy: sound more shocked, Joanne Janis: I ain't Jimmy: good Janis: you know I didn't mean it Jimmy: What bit? Janis: not wanting to talk to you Jimmy: I got that when you started talking to me again Janis: yeah, alright Janis: just saying Jimmy: what's gonna make you 😁? Janis: Is that what you want? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: not like I've spent ages today trying to do it or owt Janis: I can not be a moody bitch without being 😁 though, honest Jimmy: and I can make you 😁 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you have Janis: loads Jimmy: it don't matter if your face ain't stuck like it Jimmy: I'll have another go Janis: what about you? Jimmy: What about me? Janis: What emoji do you want me to make you? Jimmy: your fav obvs Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll do my best Jimmy: I get it, you know Jimmy: what you said before about the rest being 💩 Janis: it just really shows how shit everything else and everyone is Janis: how boring and just Janis: bit of a headfuck Jimmy: yeah and I get it an' all that you have shit you have to do but Jimmy: I meant what I said about you not having to go nowhere Jimmy: my 🏠'll be trashed and the 🐕's a dickhead but you can still hang around whenever you want Janis: I don't though Janis: not in comparison to you, that's just the truth Janis: it just makes me sound pathetic when you put it like that Janis: but thanks Jimmy: shut up, you've got a job same as me Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know I ain't gonna hold it over your head that your mum ain't chucking 👶s at you to look after or being a massive bellend all the time Jimmy: what kind of weird 🎻💔😭 bollocks 🏆s is that? Janis: well I knew you'd hate it that's why I didn't say it earlier Janis: I'm just not trying to take the piss with stupid non-problems Jimmy: everyone's got shit, not just me Janis: yeah Janis: and I've got plenty Janis: being stressed about skiving school ain't one of 'em though, it weren't that Jimmy: I never thought it were Janis: I've got a handle on it now though Jimmy: alright Jimmy: made that 😁 challenge even more piss easy for me then Janis: You mad about that or Janis: I can make it harder again easy Jimmy: go on, I ain't 🙀🙀 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 me Janis: 😶 there you go Janis: complete blank slate Jimmy: Tah Janis: Yeah well, all the pressure Jimmy: that meant to be a ✔ or ❌? Janis: it means I'm doing what you asked and giving you an actual challenge Jimmy: that consideration's catching Janis: great Janis: need a cream for that, do I Jimmy: might do if it starts irritating you, like Jimmy: 🤞 it don't react with your fake tan Janis: is red more or less offensive than beige? 🤔 Jimmy: less Jimmy: colour of 🩸🌹💘 Bill's fav, that Janis: we already know he 💘s me Janis: about making your dad 😡🤬 not me Jimmy: already did do Jimmy: nowt challenging about making Ian fuming Janis: yeah but that's what you want me to do and keep doing Jimmy: it's not why I want you to stay Janis: it'd be a bit rude if that was all you wanted me for Jimmy: I just mean he's not the reason I do owt Jimmy: doing his head in gives my sister something to do with her 😡🤬 but he don't matter to me Janis: yeah, it isn't about him Janis: but getting him fuming enough you can all go home is, I mean Jimmy: which ain't even been working Jimmy: as plans go it were never 🥇 Janis: what letter plan was it? Jimmy: you know I can't count, mate Jimmy: dunno my letters either Janis: we don't have to talk about it though Janis: not right now Jimmy: We're here so whatever goes I had at getting him to not take the job or owt I did to try and stop us from leaving didn't work Jimmy: what's to talk about? Janis: you're giving up? Jimmy: never said that Janis: alright Janis: I get it Jimmy: do you? Janis: you either haven't thought out your next step, or I can't help you with it and it isn't my business Janis: either way, don't wanna or have to talk about it now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: not a total idiot, cheers Jimmy: never said that either Jimmy: feeling like one 'cause you had a massive strop is nowt to do with me Janis: fuck off Janis: 1. I didn't 2. Weren't talking about that no more Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you rolling your eyes at me for Jimmy: what you mean you don't get that? Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: wow Janis: nice Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm not staying, pay me whatever you would your sister for the dog Jimmy: I don't pay her Jimmy: @ my dad for his rates Janis: obviously not Jimmy: don't come then, even easier, that Janis: It's nothing to do with you Janis: the dog needs walking Jimmy: not by you Janis: why not Jimmy: why are you SO bothered? Janis: because it's needless and cruel Janis: it isn't hard Janis: and it's literally what I do so just shut up Jimmy: it ain't hard for my sister to do it Janis: is she going to or are you fobbing me off Jimmy: not a 🧠📖 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I don't need your permission, I'm going round anyway Jimmy: you don't get nowt so don't act like you do Janis: fine, take your 🎻💔😭🏆 and shove it Jimmy: ✔ Janis: so glad you're happy Jimmy: so glad you ain't lost your sense of humour Janis: the gags that I never had one, so where's yours Jimmy: Dunno, maybe you'll find it when you're pissing about at mine Jimmy: places the spare 🔑 has to get left are getting weirder and weirder Janis: I'm just knocking Janis: you might be arsed but doubt your sisters stopping me doing a job for her Jimmy: be about right Janis: be weird id she cared Janis: if* Jimmy: no weirder than you reckoning she'll bother to answer the door Janis: You're being ridiculous Jimmy: that's you Janis: no, it ain't Jimmy: yeah it is, this 🐕💔 being the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: I told you why Janis: not rocket science Jimmy: and I told you why not to, neither's that Janis: I didn't say it was your fault but it's not fair on the dog and you know that Janis: I'm not gonna pretend I don't 'cos you're pissed off with me Jimmy: 📞 the rspca then, be doing me a bigger favour than this bollocks is Janis: if you wanted to, you would've done it yourself Janis: the kid 💕 it and that's why Jimmy: funny way of showing it she's got Jimmy: can't even do something she gets 💰 chucked at her for Janis: yeah and that hardly takes a genius to work out either Jimmy: no need for you to get your head round what's up with her an' all Janis: stop acting like I'm fucking therapizing you Jimmy: stop doing it Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you better walk away gal but we're clearly going to attempt to walk Twix still] Jimmy: [at least he's not there so you won't brawl] Janis: [oh the drama mick] Jimmy: [oh boy, it's not her fault you don't wanna leave dublin anymore, well it is but don't be rude] Janis: [quite literally your fault but that's a convo we're not ready to have yet clearly lol] Jimmy: [a convo we've literally had twice drunk lol lol] Janis: [oh lads, we're literally in such a tiz, thank god you didn't stay home tbh] Jimmy: [don't need to have a blazing row with your poor mother] Janis: [make this Thing an actual Thing™ though that is lowkey the deal in the fam being suspish of you boy but still] Jimmy: [literally don't know how I'm gonna fix this because he thinks he's in the right here, sir your pants] Janis: [like he's not not but we didn't really get what he was saying 'cos neither of you was saying enough/the right things lol] Jimmy: [she's not a mind reader either jimothy] Janis: [fair, we're probably going to go out and get drunk somewhere so I could always come @ you] Jimmy: [good idea because that's not a luxury he has until work is over at least and even then not really because Ian will be throwing his toys out of the pram] Janis: [yeah, like he's really not gonna be in the mood is he but we'll do it anyway, good luck lmao] Jimmy: [how much later are we saying it is like is he at work or has it been ages?] Janis: [well it's fully a monday so like what kind of party would be happening, so it's probably on the earlier side like we're just 'hanging' somewhere and drinking, but by the time we come for you you can probably be leaving work/home like] Jimmy: [makes sense] Janis: are you okay? Janis: what did he do? Janis: can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: I'm not back yet, nowt to worry about Janis: oh Janis: it's not that late Janis: still so dark 🌨⛄ Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah Janis: but no too Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't like it when we don't talk Janis: but I'm not dying in a ditch, that's what I mean Jimmy: but where are you? Janis: at the park with some people Janis: not the park, a park though Jimmy: what park? Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I don't know, the one on [some estate he's not going to know gal but anyway, a let's get drunk in parks energy] Janis: it's not that cold, had my coat on anyway Jimmy: SO helpful, you Jimmy: it's not that cold now you're pissed, my dear Janis: That is half the point Janis: idk what you expect me to tell you, it's not like the park has a name, just a bit of grass and some swings Jimmy: I've got a map up 🤞 I get there before you 🥶🥶🥶 Janis: you're coming to see me? Janis: but you're angry at me Jimmy: I'm bringing you ☕ to warm and sober you up a bit, then I'm taking you to your nans Janis: I don't want to Jimmy: you wanna go home? Janis: god no Jimmy: you can't stay there Janis: not all night Janis: but it isn't even late Jimmy: not the point, dickhead Jimmy: I've got enough to worry about without adding you to the list Janis: don't worry about me Janis: I'm just trying to have fun Janis: I'm worried about you Jimmy: bit late for that Janis: 😠 Jimmy: don't you start, girl, I've hung up my apron now Jimmy: already on my way Janis: you can't try to seduce me to change the subject Janis: not that drunk Jimmy: weren't the plan Janis: why you talking like that then Jimmy: what? Janis: like Mias there and you want her to fancy you too Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: daddy 👏 energy 👏 Janis: anyway, literally said you wouldn't distract from the point so sh Jimmy: you Janis: but Jimmy: 🤫 Janis: sorry for caring Jimmy: it weren't what you signed up for Janis: not what you signed me up for, you mean Jimmy: go on, make it sound more like I forced you into something Janis: that's like Janis: the opposite of what I'm saying Jimmy: alright Janis: you keep turning things 'round and it's not what I mean Jimmy: just say what you mean Janis: I am Janis: I'm trying Janis: I just don't want you to get really hurt again but I can't do anything about it Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about it either Jimmy: how do you think I feel? Janis: I can't imagine Jimmy: don't Jimmy: 💭❌ Janis: I were never saying I knew what that was like Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: not something I want us to have in common Janis: 'course not Jimmy: there you go then, can't have a go at you for not having a clue Janis: you can Janis: or you could just tell me what you do want me to do Janis: or say Janis: or not say or do Jimmy: that'd be taking the daddy energy a bit far, babe Janis: alright, not any other time, tah Janis: just let me fix this Janis: and not fuck it up again Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: there's nowt either of us can do Janis: okay Janis: I know that Janis: but how do I not annoy you about it Janis: because I don't think I can just fake that I don't know Jimmy: I don't have an answer I can just chuck at you Janis: okay then Jimmy: if I did I'd have loads of mates and a real girlfriend, duh Jimmy: that charming and social, me Janis: I'm glad you don't have a girlfriend though Jimmy: me and Bill's 👻 an' all Janis: I've got no friends either Jimmy: Oi, what am I? Janis: I don't know Janis: what are you Jimmy: 💔 RUDE Jimmy: I'm your best mate Janis: my best mate Janis: who I think about every time I cum, alright Jimmy: why isn't it? Janis: just confusing Janis: it can be both Janis: probably Jimmy: don't have to be if we just 🗨 Jimmy: it's been alright up til now Janis: very rude if that's your review Jimmy: shut up, you know what I mean Janis: do you want me to 🗨 or 🤫 Janis: just confused now 😏 Jimmy: I've missed you but if you wanna change my mind about it Janis: no, no Janis: I can behave Jimmy: making promises you can't keep Janis: cheek Jimmy: we'll see when I get there Janis: I missed you too Janis: I don't know what's wrong with me Jimmy: other than being a massive pisshead, you mean Janis: psh Janis: what else am I meant to do Jimmy: you want a list or what? Janis: yes, go on Jimmy: 1. 🗨 to me 2. come 👋 to me and my 👻 manager 3. workshop a 💀💀💀 scene with Bill 4. 🐕🏃 5. @ Lucas or 💀👑's dad for a lift Jimmy: just off the top of my head Janis: 1. we weren't 🗨 2. so I couldn't 👋 even if your manager actually existed 3. he's your mate 4. you definitely didn't want me to do that earlier either 5. just admit you want me 💀💀💀 now like Jimmy: 1. gotta start somewhere, Jessica 2. he were actually about, believe it or not! 3. he is with THAT attitude 4. I definitely don't want you spending all my 💰 either 5. I ALWAYS want to 💀💀💀 you, I've admitted that before Janis: 1. what's this? 2. so sad I missed him/my chance to seduce him for a job then 3. #ladsladslads with him forever 4. only said that 'cos you made me mad and I said for like a five not ALL your 💰 not that stereotype 5. then why are you letting either of them do it instead? Jimmy: 1. but before or instead of getting off your head were the point 2. 💔 for you and him both 3. speaking of, how many lads off that estate am I gonna have to smack before we can leave? 4. you still fuming at me or what? 5. never said I'd let it happen, just that it could do Janis: I'm not still mad at you Janis: it was a solid 60% my fault anyway Janis: I don't even know what we were talking about or then why we weren't, really Jimmy: then how do you know owt were your fault? Janis: 'cos you've explained since Jimmy: I were being a dickhead, it's not you Janis: no, it's alright Janis: you weren't Jimmy: I were and it's not alright Jimmy: you're the only bit that's not shit and taking the rest out on you ain't gonna change them, it'll only fuck this up an' all Janis: I'm not looking to make any of it harder Janis: that's not what a mate should do Jimmy: and I made it loads easier for you a bit ago when I already knew you weren't 😁 Janis: that's really nothing though Janis: stupid high school level shit Jimmy: meant to be cheering you up, that's what I said I'd do Jimmy: not nowt that I did the opposite Janis: okay, but I wasn't helping you none neither Janis: so we can be even Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: am I going to need to come find you? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: um, a really valid one from experience Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I'm not the one who's pissed, tah very much Janis: you exaggerate Jimmy: you take the piss Jimmy: I'm not lost Janis: okay, okay Janis: it'd be rude not to check Janis: you could die Janis: or 🥶🥶🥶 Jimmy: too northern for that bollocks Jimmy: what kind of truce is this? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: have a swing, I'll be there in a bit Janis: someone's hoyed 'em over Janis: so rude Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: never did answer me on how many lads I'd have to 🥊 Janis: Not sure if it was one of them Janis: I'll ask for you Jimmy: 💰 on it being you when you were FUMING Jimmy: trying to blame these poor lads now Janis: 😱 Janis: I WOULD NEVER Janis: pain to get back down, even if your da is like, freakishly tall or something Jimmy: never admit it now I've caught you out, more like Jimmy: know what you're like Jimmy: trying to show off and make the most of your 🦒 perks Janis: yeah, all these lads are SO cool Jimmy: never said it were for them Jimmy: might've been waiting to impress me Janis: well are you impressed? Jimmy: haven't seen the state of nowt yet Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: yeah 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: then I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ? Janis: Would it make it better or worse if I come back to yours Jimmy: better this time, worse the next Janis: What would you rather I do? Jimmy: you know the answer to that Janis: but are you sure Jimmy: are you? Janis: I'll be fine going to my nans, for me Janis: I don't know what's better for you Janis: yeah, I can delay it now, or let it be less tonight than it COULD be Janis: but neither of those feels good Janis: so I just wanna do what you want Jimmy: so stay Janis: okay Jimmy: okay Janis: we could get rid of him the old-fashioned way Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I'll get lost Janis: seriously Janis: how hard can it be Jimmy: piss easy if you don't care about the bit where you get caught Jimmy: how you gonna walk my 🐕 from prison? Janis: well that's why we do it properly Janis: just need to do the groundwork Janis: keep slyly telling any nosy neighbours you're moving back soon because he's lost his job, so they don't @ him Janis: then backdate a resignation letter to send to his work Jimmy: then what? Jimmy: can't actually piss off back up north without the dickhead Janis: well, you could, ferry is well cheap Janis: what you'd do when you get there is another issue Jimmy: keep dreaming, baby Jimmy: it's never gonna happen Jimmy: you're stuck with me for a bit Janis: I don't want you to leave anyway Janis: not my dream Jimmy: what'd you bring it up for then? Janis: you could stay and we could kill him Jimmy: we'd be prime suspects Jimmy: and they'd take the 👶👶🐕 off me Janis: nah, 'cos if we sort work and your neighbours and move you in with me who's looking Janis: 💡 Janis: see Jimmy: your whole family'd be 👀🍿 Jimmy: and your 🐕 best mate'd be eaten by 🐈🐈🐈 Janis: hardly Janis: 2 of my sisters got married before they were 20 and one of 'em is dead Janis: can't say nothing Janis: don't fight how much sense it makes tah Jimmy: you're so Janis: fucked up? Jimmy: not what I were gonna say Janis: they are Janis: try and distance myself from it but Jimmy: if we were judging each other by our family I'd come off loads worse Jimmy: no tah Janis: no need to have the competition Jimmy: 'cause you're losing Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🏆 goes to me Janis: nope no no no nah Janis: you have no idea and you don't need it Jimmy: alright, stop going on about it and 🗨 something you want me to know Janis: 😳 Jimmy: go on Janis: bit on the spot, like you say Jimmy: but you're 💭 about something or you wouldn't be 😳 Janis: too bad you're not a 🧠📖 Jimmy: just have to read your body language instead Jimmy: [show up sir] Janis: ['scuse us random park people, biggest run and hug ever] Jimmy: [holding onto her for the longest time and we're not sorry] Janis: [lowkey like don't cry gal, so overwhelmed and drunk dangerous combo here] Jimmy: [gal we know all about trying not to cry Imma get you out of here asap] Janis: [not letting you say anything intelligible yet] Jimmy: [it's fine we're totally picking her up so we can leave] Janis: [soz not soz to the lads who clearly thought you were about to get off with them or something] Jimmy: [bye bye boys have fun] Janis: [hope you're near enough to his lads 'I'm really sorry'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' cos it is and snuggling her as we carry her like] Janis: [sighs 'it's not' but we mean everything else so we're snuggling him back even harder Jimmy: [kissing the top of her head like yeah it is] Janis: ['you're the loveliest, that's what I want you to know'] Jimmy: [clearly 😳 about this because not what we expected her to say but we're also doing a little genuine smile so] Janis: [just softly stroking his cheeks though you probably can't even see in this light/state we just know, about to blurt something about but just about catching ourselves 'tell me something then'] Jimmy: ['are you gonna remember it?' cos we gonna catch ourselves too before being too extra] Janis: ['yes!' indignantly like how dare you, nudging him like go on 'I'll tell you another if you do'] Jimmy: ['alright, one thing I want you to know is how much this means' keeping it deliberately vague as if we're just talking about the Ian situation because we clearly aren't lol 'to me that you-that you're-' still not finishing our sentences though soz about it] Janis: [squeezing him wherever you're holding onto him, but gently please let's not fall and die here although 'I love you' not leaving like a sec here 'like I care about you, you know' and how rushed that last bit is like and I oop] Jimmy: [we've straight up died so whatever we say back is too muffled to understand because we're hardcore hiding in the bae and also using our softest voice ever] Janis: [casual panic happening in silence here but we move, meant it and can't take it back so at least you're drunk enough that you can't really try to run away rn] Jimmy: [lifting our head when she moves because we think she's gonna try and run away and that's a hard no from us 'always gotta one up me, you' but we're still using our soft voice so you know it's not a pisstake 'not gonna win the awards against you but I care about you an' all'] Janis: [shrugs like yes, that's what it was, of course 'just that good'] Jimmy: ['I know' giving her 😍 as we say it because we mean it] Janis: [going in for a makeout moment] Jimmy: [allowing it because he also meant it when he said he missed her and the feels are too high not to even though she's drunk and he's obvs not] Janis: [it's fine, we know we're being extra with it because we are drunk so it's not like you've got it wrong boy] Jimmy: [we're being extra too cos we're in our emotions and I don't trust you to speak rn sir, always makes me laugh like how far have we even gotten away from this park] Janis: [seriously, like you already said it girl you better stop lmao, I hope far enough that we're not giving a free show, also you're nearly at his but probably not knowing y'all] Jimmy: [hope you're at least off this estate so we're not getting whistled and shouted at by chavs cos that'll really ruin the moment] Janis: [like get that you're both in this moment but there's only so much you can ignore really] Jimmy: [I'll make it rain or snow if I have to lads so that'll move along, don't test me] Janis: [least you're gonna have some urgency by how hard we're going rn 'cos no shame] Jimmy: [an incentive to get home is very much needed cos Ian will be a delight] Janis: [I'm like gal do not speak that could be disastrous] Jimmy: [going upstairs immediately for all the reasons] Janis: [can't come for Ian and his life, it'd be amusing but make everything worse so not rn, in that bed tah] Jimmy: [we'll give you other opportunities gal but this is not the one] Janis: [not when you're drunk, not gonna be witty, just like fuck you bitch] Jimmy: [it's gonna be ages before you get back anyway cos we know y'all will keep stopping, never any chill] Janis: [we all know it, there is no chill now or ever] Jimmy: [hence I am making you walk, not letting you anywhere near a bus or anything rn] Janis: [do we wanna skip to being at his or to the AM or quoiiiii] Jimmy: [good question, we can probably skip to later at his because you can't avoid Ian forever, even if we're kind and say he's not around when they first get there] Janis: [what's your vibe like is he gonna come in and make Jimmy come out to talk or ambush him like what's the tea sis] Jimmy: [I feel like Jimothy's gonna have to go make tea at some point because it's his love language so he'll probably get ambushed in the kitchen then] Janis: [ugh SIR] Jimmy: [is nothing sacred you bitch, but at least she'll be upstairs so she can't brawl him and Twix will run up cos she will be scared so that'll distract you gal] Janis: [like if we heard brawling ourselves we would come down but I'd like to hope you're keeping it to shouting rn, have some shame dickhead, just look after this baby dog] Jimmy: [I would hope he is just shouting because he's that dickhead that wants to appear like he's not one and like what's to stop Janis telling literally everyone including her social worker nan so] Janis: [right, even if you think she's trash, I don't think you're being that dumb with it ever] Jimmy: [shamelessly just gonna bring the bae tea and biscuits as if that didn't happen] Janis: [trying not to be like !!! but we're also not gonna pretend as hard, patting the bed like come here] Jimmy: [obvs we do and do a feelsy lean when we're there cos we both need it] Janis: ['really wants Lucas to like him' because we know there's fuck all we can actually say to be of use, but we're tucking him back in and cuddling him] Jimmy: [a little lol because 1. funny 2. not what we expected her to say 3. relief that she hasn't said something that'll make it awks and that Ian didn't kick off any harder/try and kick her out] Janis: [equally small smile 'cos we love to see it but we do not love the rest of this situation so we're not buzzing obviously] Jimmy: [draw it bigger with our fingertip because we've remembered our 😁 challenge] Janis: [write LOL on him like okay, whilst we're here let's sort that out] Jimmy: [do some !! on her like epic lols please] Janis: [go to tickle him like it can be arranged] Jimmy: [obvs tickling her back like excuse you it's meant to be you doing it] Janis: [we are loling but still trying to tickle him and get him too] Jimmy: [never far from a playfight which I love for you and also I imagine that Twix is probably still around so joining in] Janis: [don't bark gal or do because we don't care about you Ian but bit rude to Cass, just pinning him and being like 'my offer still stands' which like, explain yourself but we're not lol] Jimmy: [also don't spill that tea or crush those biscuits/ let Twix get either of them while you're living your best life, obvs giving her a look like ?] Janis: [my boo always so concerned about the tea situation, runs a finger along his throat and looks meaningfully at the door like you know who] Jimmy: [I am and I'm not soz boo, but jimothy meanwhile is gonna just give you a lovebite/go over an existing one on your throat gal like I'd rather just kill you thank you] Janis: [doing the opposite of complaining about it] Jimmy: [taking the encouragement and going harder as a result of it duh] Janis: [when you can't breathe casually, pulling him closer into us 'please'] Jimmy: [kick that dog out so she doesn't cockblock you soz Twix, casually looks like you're like nope and leaving] Janis: [Twix is probably 🥺 but we definitely are x2 🥺🥺] Jimmy: [don't worry we're running back immediately to kiss you INTENSELY] Janis: [getting in his lap, duh, and looking at him for ages 'lovely' like yes, I was correct] Jimmy: [putting his finger on her nose like he's pointing at her cos no you] Janis: [grabbing the finger and then we're holding both his hands 'how am I going to make you happy?'] Jimmy: ['you already have done' because true that we've already forgotten about Ian's bullshit lbr cos we're in love] Janis: ['I could do better' 'you deserve better'] Jimmy: ['you just wanna take the challenge off me' because we can't even deal with our emotions over her saying that] Janis: ['I just wanna-' and kissing him again like let me show you] Jimmy: [a very enthusiastic response in all the ways possible because same] Janis: [have your moment kiddos, cannot express how much she's calling him baby] Jimmy: [cannot overstate how into that he is and will forever be] Janis: [being a perfect combo of intense but soft rn] Jimmy: [Cass gonna wish she was deaf too, first Ian shouting and now this lol] Janis: [thank god for headphones gal soz still not gonna be our fan for a while lol] Jimmy: [she's really not cos already had to dump Bobby on her when we had work then had to find Janis and now all this is shamelessly going on, soz gal] Janis: [it's fine, we'd hate us too in your position and we will win you 'round in the end] Jimmy: [I'm sure Jimothy will also do something to make it up to you cos he's just that bitch even though he's fuming at you for not walking Twix ever] Janis: [lowkey don't deserve it but you lucky gal and not shading you too hard] Jimmy: [we all know you're strugging rn gal it's okay] Janis: [not helping your brother but this isn't meant to be your job any more than it's meant to be his] Jimmy: [and we'll let you get your bf and friends soon and then you can walk Twix together] Janis: [and you'll be happy, despite the fact you go back up north, that's your business hen] Jimmy: [what if he sends her a valentine and that's what starts this lil otp] Janis: [that would be very cute do it] Jimmy: [like idk if he goes to your school or if he's putting in through your door or if he even signs it but we know bitch] Janis: [we should be nice and say he goes to your school so you have company but it should be a ? 'cos that's cute, I've only ever got one of those and it was from nannie haha] Jimmy: [I've derailed us but yeah that felt like a nice thing to happen amidst all the drama] Janis: [hohaha you'd be so embarrassed gal, be nice Jimothy aka shamelessly tease her] Jimmy: [simply must] Janis: [but yes, we're probably good for tonight unless you really wanna 'round 2 Ian] Jimmy: [do you wanna do the am?] Janis: [sure ting honey, it's a tuesday, so you'll be having to get Bobby ready for school and Ian will be gone so that's good] Jimmy: [leaving the bae in bed while we do our big brother duties but we will be bringing you breakfast gal you know it] Janis: 👋😪 Janis: you want any help? Jimmy: did I teach you the signs for hurry the fuck up? Janis: 🤔 Janis: [clip of her doing the thing where you gesture towards yourself frantically like LETS GO] Janis: ? Jimmy: that'd do Janis: does he know I'm here? Jimmy: he'd have come to ask you loads of questions about his missus if he did Janis: 💔 ouch Jimmy: if you fancy jumping out at him, the 🐕'll give you a hand knocking him about and getting his attention Janis: I'm not that offended Janis: be a bit rude Janis: plus if your sister knows I'm here, she definitely wants to see me even less Jimmy: but I might want to Jimmy: bit rude of you not to think about that Janis: Please Janis: I think about you ALL the time Janis: and you've seen a lot of me lately Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 are having a 💔💪🏆 Janis: she's FUMING at me Janis: I went to the bathroom and she was giving me 🔪🔪👀 Jimmy: the 🐕 or my sister? Janis: 🐕 Janis: your fault Janis: haven't you noticed her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Jimmy: Oi, nowt to do with me, I never said you went to the park without her Janis: you kicked her out Janis: I remember Janis: also she was scrapping at the door Jimmy: not my fault you never said that were a kink of yours Jimmy: should've if you wanted her kept in Janis: shut up Janis: I said she was mad, not me Jimmy: she'll get over it once I sort her breakfast out Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: for 🥞🧇🥓🍳 or in life in general Jimmy: obvs to eat, dickhead Jimmy: but if there's owt else I can do an' all, go on Janis: cheek that you don't wanna know all about my ambitions and dreams in the morning Janis: @ the gals with that relatable content Jimmy: I LITERALLY just said tell me so that's bollocks Janis: woe is me 😉 can't hear you over all my 😭 Jimmy: poor baby Janis: are you going to school today? Jimmy: are you? Janis: haven't got my uniform Jimmy: you can borrow my spare if that's the only thing putting you off Janis: school is always off-putting Janis: but didn't know if you were gonna go in to shut him up Jimmy: if it were that piss easy I might do Janis: yeah Janis: I'll come in, if you are Janis: I usually have mine in my bag but I left that at home when I went out last night, for some reason Jimmy: probably weren't planning on going, we still don't have to Janis: what do you want to do? Jimmy: if we don't go? Janis: well I meant are we going or not Janis: but go on Jimmy: whatever is the most #ultimategoals bollocks we can think of, duh Janis: do you reckon any of them have heard of bed peace Janis: 😴😴😴 Jimmy: will have once I'm done 📷🥇 Janis: you're gonna koala onto the side of me? Janis: you're basically scouse, yeah 😏 Jimmy: unless you fancy making another fort downstairs, been ages since the last one Janis: just say you want to babe Janis: I'll get started whilst you're taking him in Jimmy: only thinking of you 🦒 Janis: it's a bit of a squeeze Janis: stretched out rn though Jimmy: very subtle Jimmy: I won't hurry back Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: fine Jimmy: make up your mind, girl Janis: you know what I want Janis: read my mind, boy Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: compared to the school run, I'm a delight, obvs Jimmy: but hang on, some of them yummy mummies really dress up so you've got a bit of competition Janis: you have fun with that then Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 OBVS Janis: you're gross Janis: and I'm going back to bed Jimmy: actual 🤞 you don't 🤮 in my 🗑 Janis: I ain't even hungover Jimmy: 'cause I came and got you before you could get too off your head Janis: you act like you've never done it Jimmy: never said that Janis: What, then? Jimmy: nowt 🤐 Janis: why'd you come though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: why can't I ask? Jimmy: what's it matter? it's done now Janis: alright Jimmy: there's 🗨 you can read before I did Janis: that would require reading my own 🗨 Janis: I'd rather leave it 🤐 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll take the dog out Jimmy: what happened to going back to 😴? Janis: I'm not sleepy Jimmy: tah then Janis: no worries Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it doesn't need to be weird Jimmy: what? Janis: ➡️ ⬅️ ⬆️ ⬇️ ↗️ ↘️ ↙️ ↖️ Janis: this Jimmy: you're the one calling it weird to say it don't need to be Janis: I'm just saying I don't wanna start up the whole thing again, that's all Jimmy: that's alright by me Janis: okay Janis: ignore me Jimmy: I don't want to ignore you Janis: okay, don't, but I mean Janis: I'm not trying to be a dick Jimmy: I'll give you a 🏆 if you manage it Jimmy: 😏 Janis: fair but fuck off 😂 Janis: not going for 😇 fake gf Jimmy: what you going for? Janis: 😈 DUH Jimmy: you can have that 🏆 Janis: I'd fight you if you disagreed on that Jimmy: no need as it's fake Jimmy: I'll agree to owt as long as it's on brand Janis: that ain't fake Jimmy: last night it were Jimmy: SO nice you 😇🏆🥇 Janis: that was mate stuff Janis: not fake gf Jimmy: let's just be mates today then Jimmy: I'm 🥱😴 if you're not Janis: subtle way to say just be nice to me all day Janis: but alright Jimmy: I'll do it back, not that much of a dickhead Janis: doesn't sound terrible Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: 🤝 Janis: and I could sleep, so don't need to worry about me creepily watching you and/or stealing all your shit whilst you 🥱😴 Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: you've had loads of chances to do both before now Janis: gain your trust first, not an amateur Jimmy: and what, you reckon you have? Janis: yep Janis: like you said, could've easily done both by now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oi, are you saying I haven't? Jimmy: I said I weren't bothered about you thieving or 👀 at us 😴 Jimmy: don't mean I trust you, mate, just that I've got nowt worth nicking and don't reckon I'm 🎨 Janis: Psh, that's a blatant lie Jimmy: which bit? Janis: not reckoning you're 🎨 Janis: you and your massive head Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: if that weren't bollocks I'd be my own muse Janis: selfies aren't #art Janis: that's the truth, pretentious hipster Jimmy: take one and watch the fans disagree Janis: you do the same Janis: you know what you look like Jimmy: [obviously does because no fucks given ever] Jimmy: there you go then Janis: see Janis: you're Janis: your DMs will 💥 'cos I'm not in it Jimmy: have to take loads with you in Jimmy: good job you're not hungover Janis: I've not seen myself yet Janis: could be 👹 Jimmy: 📷 Jimmy: it's your go Janis: [a bed selfie where you clearly look good 'cos when do you not, bitches be mad] Janis: demanding, you Jimmy: if I were next to you there I would be Janis: 😳 Janis: rude to say that and not be Jimmy: I thought it'd be ruder not to 🗨 soz Jimmy: taking our 🤝 dead serious, me Janis: speechless is a bit far Jimmy: Dunno you might reckon the nicest thing I can do is shut up Janis: nah Janis: I've told you loads I don't mind it Janis: your 🗨 Jimmy: [a voice memo that's full of compliments about that selfie because of course] Janis: I already missed you Janis: you had to make me admit it, didn't you Jimmy: weren't why but I'm not fuming that you feel the same as me Janis: you shouldn't be allowed out of this bed Janis: s'what I reckon Jimmy: we can stay there long as you want Janis: ⛓😍 Jimmy: be like Lucas is about Jimmy: no need to go to english Janis: yeah, smart to mouth off to your captor Janis: think on Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Jimmy: you have been warned before Janis: damn, I thought you said thicc Janis: misled Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 for you Janis: yeah, pretty gutted Janis: you'll do for now Jimmy: til you @ some fatter northern dickhead Janis: have to change my tinder location Jimmy: not much of a #kink since you ain't even offered to make me owt for breakfast Janis: those are perks you've not even fake unlocked Jimmy: or answered what you want Janis: surprise me Janis: I'll get you something on the way back with the dog Jimmy: already outted yourself as not a real feeder, no need to follow through on it Janis: you don't like surprises...? Jimmy: you heard that I don't trust you Janis: it's breakfast Jimmy: it were you who asked the question Janis: alright Janis: your loss Jimmy: I do like surprises from you, the 🎄🎁 were good Janis: You ain't bad either Janis: no 🎅 shithead Jimmy: 💕 Janis: dunno how I'm gonna top it Jimmy: got ages before you have to Jimmy: not expecting THAT 🥇 of a breakfast, like Janis: wait and 👀 boy Janis: 💪🏆 Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I get it, you want me to have to compete with whatever 🍳🍞☕️🥞🧇🥓 I'm knocking up for you Janis: How else will you learn, babe? Janis: or maybe I just wanna do something nice, dickhead Jimmy: what's 🐕🏃 if not that? Janis: nothing new Janis: feel like that's all I friggin do Jimmy: who 🗨 it had to be something new? Jimmy: not 🥱😴 of you Janis: **because I keep you on your toes Jimmy: you're still about, that's all I want Janis: tah Janis: proximity is your biggest selling point as well Jimmy: 👏 @iantaylor8 for pissing about in this shithole instead of the one he was born in Janis: I'll @ my grandparents whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant you being at my 🏠 still but alright Jimmy: if they wanna take a bit of credit for that, you did say you didn't wanna go there Janis: already rude you have to split it 50/50 with your dad so Janis: not technically their fault, even if they'd hardly be happy I got pissed on a school day Jimmy: bit rude you didn't save me any tbh Jimmy: but not a surprise so I can't be fuming about it Janis: weren't my alcohol Janis: you could've hoe'd for it like the rest of us Jimmy: read the room a bit and they weren't chuffed to see me 💔🎻 Janis: awh babes Janis: 😞😘 Jimmy: your fault that you were, could've toned it down 🤏 and let me have some mates Janis: excuse me, you weren't hanging about to chat neither Jimmy: convenient that, you chucking the blame back over here Janis: you could've chucked me back if you were actually arsed Jimmy: might've been a good shout but I had a look and none of 'em were as fit as you Janis: now THAT'S a compliment Jimmy: take it then Janis: How can I? Janis: so overwhelmed you fancy me more than a bunch of greasy 16 year olds in tracksuits Jimmy: you're in the right place to have a lie down, you'll be alright Janis: OBVIOUSLY I prefer to swoon directly into your arms but Janis: have to do Janis: long as you reckon I'm dead when you get back and top yourself Janis: 😩🤤 Jimmy: Bill wouldn't have owt else Jimmy: trying to get this ☕☠ as we 🗨 him Janis: he's so thoughtful Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [bring her whatever adorable breakfast you've made before she gets out of bed because we know what this gal is like] Janis: [shamelessly giving you a massive smooch like you're gonna be gone forever] Jimmy: [it will feel like forever and we all know it, also shamelessly doing a little photoshoot so his dms don't blow up and obvs no other reason like she's the cutest ever] Janis: [so domestic, so cute] Jimmy: [the effort to tear himself away I lol you'll be right back sir] Janis: [and we all know you're not going to school so like, you have all day kids, god bless] Jimmy: [too in love] Janis: [bet Mia will make one of the gals dob you in] Jimmy: [she blatantly will, that snitch] Janis: [like get over it henny, why have you got nothing better on] Jimmy: [your jealousy and bitterness is simply not bringing us down rn hun] Janis: [we're already in trouble and don't care so like, what do you think you're achieving] Jimmy: [you're just annoying Grace even more than you already do gal, sadly she has not yet yeeted and we will have to endure the notp of her and Harry] Jimmy: [jimothy meanwhile is living his best life sending the bae pisstakey pics of these mums on the school run] Janis: ugh, put your tongue away Jimmy: @ the 🐕 Jimmy: nowt but 😎🖍 here Janis: well that was SO 🤓 so Janis: speak for yourself, not him Janis: dragging down his playground cred Jimmy: alright 😒🌧 then Janis: you'll get all the single mums that ain't learnt their lesson after you then Janis: sensible ones trying to tempt away the nice male teacher or one of the active dads Jimmy: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: Asia's mum Janis: She would Janis: you should, at least make Asia fuming Jimmy: see if I can convince her to 🔒 our kid's BFF in a cupboard or some bollocks an' all Jimmy: send her off to wherever the fuck she's named after Janis: must look up to the 💀💀s more that one Jimmy: must take after Asia with her 🧠 AND 🦷🦷 Janis: Poor little fuckers Jimmy: should have the full orchestra hanging about on this school run Janis: right? Janis: it's well depressing Jimmy: 💔 you ain't trained the 🐕 to take him to school for us Janis: soz she still needs a babysitter herself, like Janis: she'll be out of the puppy stage soon-ish and less of a handful but Nana is still a bit of a 💭 Jimmy: convenient excuses them, Janet Janis: 😒 Jimmy: *😏 Janis: I thought you were trained better than this, tbh Jimmy: said as you're having breakfast in bed Janis: you're saying I should be telling you how grateful I am rn? Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: Hmm Jimmy: wind your 🦒 neck in Jimmy: I'm being nice Janis: Charming as ever 😂 Jimmy: [writes some v charming and extra post like there you go] Janis: it's gross yet impressive how fast you can turn it on Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: post about how fast you can turn it on would seem a bit cheap rn Janis: I'll be more 💕 too I GUESS Janis: [post it bitch] Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: now give me what the 1st draft were Janis: [something way more 🔥] Jimmy: you been holding out on me this whole time or what? Janis: can't distract you from your duties/milf hunting Jimmy: you've just proved you can Janis: alright, shouldn't Jimmy: why? Janis: because you're having SUCH a good time already Janis: what kind of mate? Jimmy: a TOP one, duh Janis: you haven't been that nice Janis: 💔 Jimmy: how have I not? Janis: aforementioned milfs Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I'm sending those pisstaking 📷 of them but I'm looking at the ones of you Janis: Jealousy isn't cute, I get it Jimmy: whatever you do is cute, every dickhead gets that Janis: you're not every dickhead Janis: and I'm not that bitch Jimmy: and the kind of dickhead I am is alright with who you are Janis: ew Janis: 🤫🤫🤫 Jimmy: Oi Janis: we don't do mushy Jimmy: calm yourself down, I'll chuck a pillow at you in a bit or some bollocks Janis: I'll start an argument if you like Jimmy: has been AGES since the last one Janis: 👍 Janis: so much fun Jimmy: for Bill, I'd be chuffed to leave it out with the #drama Janis: unlucky Jimmy: for you, not being able to compete with Ian when it comes to having a strop Jimmy: I'll live Janis: fuck off Jimmy: this you starting the 🥊? Janis: you'd know if it was Janis: so no Jimmy: 👍 Janis: let's not Janis: I can't be arsed to go into school Jimmy: you know I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then we're not Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'm capable Jimmy: never said you weren't Janis: you don't need to when you keep calling me stroppy like I'm Libi's fucking age Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Jimmy: call me what you like Janis: not feeling the 🤤 now soz Jimmy: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Janis: me and the 🐕 are out, if you rush, the bed will still be warm-ish Jimmy: 🏃 Jimmy: how much food she nick off you? Janis: erm she had to wait patiently until I was done Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: can't help being dominant Jimmy: send tweet Jimmy: I'll get one of the 🎻 to play for you Janis: for you Janis: 🥈 Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: ask Lucas, under me is EXACTLY where you wanna be, dickhead Jimmy: I'll @ him while I'm waiting for you Janis: better than the milfs Janis: he can't come 'round and seduce you Janis: #doubleenglishfirstperiod Jimmy: have to use his words Janis: if that's a hint Jimmy: for him that he can't half arse this just 'cause he's got one of Bill's classics to teach Janis: good luck Janis: he's way more touchy feely, despite the job title Jimmy: tah babe 😘 Janis: what's your angle Janis: besides being 2nd choice to me Jimmy: don't need one Jimmy: it's just that REAL between us, obvs Janis: 👌 Janis: what a nice change Jimmy: gotta have something to do when you're pissing about with this 🐕 Janis: thought you were 🥱😴? Jimmy: thought you promised me breakfast Janis: You can't nap and leave me to it? Janis: got loads of fantasies to be cracking on with, nothing else Jimmy: too excited, me Jimmy: you proper talked up how 🥇 it were gonna be a bit ago Janis: ✊💦 help you finish Janis: what a morning you're having Jimmy: don't keep you about for nowt Janis: aside from the fact I allegedly wouldn't go home Jimmy: it weren't like I were gonna make you Jimmy: or wanted to Janis: cheers Janis: if I was gonna argue with anyone Janis: better be you Janis: sorry Jimmy: we called a truce, you weren't allowed Janis: right Janis: be a bit rude to Jimmy: and you've got nowt to be sorry for Janis: I remember what we actually did Janis: so I know Jimmy: no hangover, not even that much of a pisshead in the first place, yeah I heard Janis: okay Janis: I know I was a bit Janis: not the end of the world Jimmy: not having a go Janis: thank god Jimmy: meant what I said Janis: what part? Jimmy: all of them Janis: nice and specific Janis: but okay Jimmy: alright, specifically not being a massive dickhead to you Jimmy: today at least Janis: don't worry Janis: you're never that bad Janis: not 🥇 anyway Jimmy: that's bollocks but sounds like 🥊🗨 an' all so I'll leave it out Janis: you reckon you're Ian levels of 🤬? Janis: nah Jimmy: there'd be a massive scale between him and me Jimmy: don't mean I weren't a twat to you before Janis: well you are a dickhead, don't need to apologize for who you are, like Janis: you're my mate, yeah Jimmy: your best mate, keep having to tell you Janis: I've still got the necklace Jimmy: be a bit rude if you'd chucked it Janis: don't just wear it when you're about Jimmy: don't just use my lighter when you are Janis: Your habit is pretty extensive Jimmy: 🚬's dead addictive, you not heard? Janis: 😱 Janis: and you let me have some Janis: wow Jimmy: not your daddy Jimmy: and it's a bit late for your growth to get stunted, Judith Janis: you're trying to make yourself feel tall Janis: that makes sense, Tom Jimmy: if I were bothered I'd chuck on a pair of 👠 Janis: or take a saw to mine Jimmy: I'll try not to go as far as fucking up your ankle again Jimmy: right ball ache that were Janis: why are you lying kathy Jimmy: Dunno what you mean Jimmy: ain't a 🪓 under this pillow or owt Jimmy: just me and my ⛓ how you're used to Janis: I'll come back then Janis: if you're promising no surprises Jimmy: [a pic of him snuggled in bed like see there's no danger] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: you Janis: I've got the evidence right in front of me so Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 👀📷 Janis: I'd take better ones but there's nothing very sexy about freezing my nips off Janis: you can, when I'm back Jimmy: warm you up a bit first Janis: you will Jimmy: can easily promise that Janis: It's not easy though Janis: you're just good Jimmy: never been a hard job, can't take all the credit for that Jimmy: 🤏 you an' all Jimmy: probably have to share the 🏆 at least Janis: alright Janis: we can drink from it Janis: toast to how easy it is Jimmy: long as Bill's 👻 don't try and take over like the proud dad he is Janis: ☠ later Jimmy: he'll have to wait til after I've 💀💀💀 you loads of other ways Janis: you first in that respect Janis: always Jimmy: them lads from that estate'll still be fuming about it Jimmy: swings'll be 🔥 Janis: was never gonna get drunk enough to do shit with them 🤷 Jimmy: not enough drinks in whatever shop they robbed for you to wanna bother, I get it Janis: obviously Janis: not the only girl to ever fuck them over like that, they'll survive Janis: least they can't accuse me of being frigid without sounding stupid now Jimmy: if anyone's still calling you that it'll be me that's fuming Jimmy: what more have I gotta do, like? Janis: 🍆📹 they wish Jimmy: come here then Janis: 😏 Jimmy: *🏃 Janis: I get it, you need both hands free Jimmy: dunno what's ruder, that you're not well trained enough to leg it to me when I click my fingers or that you reckon I don't already have a tripod set up Janis: right, you're a PROFESSIONAL pervert Janis: excuse me Jimmy: get it right Janis: get yourself to church Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ your shit nan, see if she can pick me up Janis: I'll stop 🏃 then Jimmy: or just 🏃 faster Janis: you think I want to fight my nan again Jimmy: didn't know it were a habit Janis: oh Janis: yeah, obvs Jimmy: alright, if it stops you trying to 🥊 with me Janis: bit selfish but Janis: 👌 Jimmy: never said I weren't Janis: I definitely am so not gonna say nothing Jimmy: already said I like you, not gonna risk 🗨 it again after how that went Janis: no accounting for taste Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: got time to dry my eyes before you get back Janis: just about Janis: but I know you, so don't worry too much Jimmy: Oi Janis: I like you too Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: no need to chuck you out Janis: you promised you'd warm me up first Jimmy: 'course I will Jimmy: not an utter bastard Janis: I know Janis: fuck knows why I like you Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Bill's gonna do you a list, look less bigheaded coming from him Janis: 🤏 Janis: [come back now] Jimmy: [show her why she likes you with the most extra and enthusiastic welcome ever] Janis: [thank god everyone has gone so we can do what we like, even Twix be having her breakfast rn] Jimmy: [the actual freedom because that's never a thing for him] Janis: [true, when he's here the kids always are, live your best life honeys, not that you were being considerate last night but you know lol] Jimmy: [the feelings just keep getting higher, they can't be blamed or tamed, 100000000% gonna get in the shower together later and run up Ian's water bill too not soz] Janis: [hohaha you know he's the type to be fuming so we gotta] Jimmy: [he's gonna be so fuming when Janis leaves because you've skipped school again as well, not looking forward to that but for now, I'm buzzing for you both] Janis: [no, we're all worried about that, lowkey trying to never leave again but we know we have to soon, just like 🥺] Jimmy: [it's not gonna be nice, fuck you Ian, thank god things are going well for jj rn so if he kicks jimothy out in the cold or something post brawl at least we have the bae] Janis: [subtly moves self in so Ian can never kick off again, we know that that is eventually what's gonna happen but sadly not yet] Jimmy: [can't wait for that] Janis: [lowkey take over your house because what you gon do sir, look after your children? unlikely] Jimmy: [or out yourself as an actual utter bastard by kicking off, even more unlikely] Janis: [like you can be salty but if you even asked for rent or whatever to try and get her out she'd just pay it so soz] Jimmy: [so glad Janis has worked out what Ian is really like because it'd seem like he was making it up/ it wasn't as bad if she hadn't] Janis: [the injuries don't lie, and if he'd got them from scrapping or whatever he would've just said 'cos it's much less shameful so we know] Jimmy: [and soz but who would this soft boy be fighting you're not a massive slag giving him grief like his ex] Janis: [exactly, we already know he ain't that boy either so like, pretend all you like Ian, we see you] Jimmy: [not soz he's not actually Liam 2.0 and a mad lad] Janis: [you'll see eventually fam, anywhosers, do we wanna do any of their day or skip to when she's gotta think about leaving] Jimmy: [we can probably skip because we know the vibe when they're together] Janis: [when are you gonna think you've gotta leave hmm] Jimmy: [and am I making you go to work after school or not hmm] Janis: [that would make sense, if you go to work and you leave] Jimmy: [let's do that then why not] Jimmy: [probably go pick Bobby up from school first and maybe take him and Twix to the park or something for a bit because Cass gonna mad at you after last night so] Janis: [yeah, we can give you that time, he's primary so he probably gets out pretty early] Jimmy: you wanna come with me? Jimmy: do some ☕🎨 Janis: tempting offer, boy Janis: I DO need to perfect the 💕 for the BIG day Jimmy: for the fans who ain't 😎 enough for the smoke rings I taught you Janis: all of them? Jimmy: SHOOK that you've forgotten the dickheads who vape Jimmy: good to know you ain't getting me one of them for the BIG day Janis: I bet they have flavours that are well appropriate though Janis: all 🍓🍧🍨🧁🍭🍬🍫 Jimmy: gimme 👼🏽🩸 and 🥀 or I don't want it 💔 Janis: That's why you've invited me Janis: 🤞 I fuck up that bad Janis: who's first aid? Jimmy: Pete 😍🤤 Jimmy: had loads of 🩺 fantasies obvs Janis: UGH Janis: what can't he do Jimmy: NOWT Jimmy: 💪🏆🩹💕 Jimmy: need a 🤕 that looks chuffed to bits Janis: 🥴 with a bandage, deffo Janis: cannot wait for my third degree burns now Jimmy: they'll probably be about though Jimmy: 💀👑 and that Jimmy: so you'll have to fake that your 😍🤤 is @ me til they've pissed off Janis: oh, duh Janis: caffeine so needed after a long day of bitching about everyone Janis: I reckon I'll manage Jimmy: haven't had their IRL 👀 on us all day Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: You need the audience, yeah? Jimmy: they need the updates Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: hmm Janis: alright, hate to disappoint 'em, obvs Jimmy: make it worth your ⏲ with 🥪🍪🧁 if their 👀🔪🔪 don't Janis: just don't make yourself sick of me Jimmy: bit rude to be taking the piss out of my stamina Janis: you're rude Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: been 🥇😇 all day Janis: exactly Jimmy: I just Jimmy: don't want you to 👋 yet Janis: Me either Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: okay Janis: I just feel a bit Janis: the hangover might've caught up with me Janis: easy on the 🍪🧁 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a smoothie Janis: so behind my 💪🏆 Jimmy: DUH Jimmy: you can sit in the back again an' all if you want Janis: that's okay Janis: gotta have all 👀s on us to make it count Jimmy: nowt makes 'em more fuming than what they can't 👀 all I'm 🗨 Jimmy: you don't need to worry about chucking them the 🍿 if you don't feel alright Janis: should teach them to lip read Janis: but don't Janis: I'm okay, honest Jimmy: [teaching her how to sign stuff for if she doesn't feel well that won't be obvious to the flatwhites cos lord knows some sign language really is] Janis: [doing some you've remembered from a previous sesh like look, I've learnt] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😏 I know, so impressive Janis: Libi makes me practice with her Jimmy: without me having to @ her an' all Jimmy: must be 💕 Janis: DUH Janis: don't be acting like you haven't had your 👂 signed off Jimmy: it's alright, he's deffo gonna outdo me with his 🎨 and 🎁s Jimmy: probably keep it going the whole 2 weeks, him Jimmy: CLEARLY mutual Janis: Your influence Jimmy: except I dunno what I'm gonna get you that won't make you start a scale for it from 🙄 to 🤮 Janis: you don't have to get ME fuck all Janis: you only have to 1 up the basic 🎁 every lad does Jimmy: you'll be stuck with it, might as well sort out something that's not a load of shite Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll hit Bobby up for tips Jimmy: too soon for a 💍? Jimmy: he'd say it ain't Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna have to keep an 👀 on him Jimmy: least he's only got 😍 for Libi and don't take after me in being a massive slag Jimmy: be proposing to his whole class Janis: be well pricey if he's not reusing Jimmy: have to break into one of them machines once the shop is out of the sweet ones Janis: hoeing was meant to bring in the 💰 not lose it Janis: 💔 Jimmy: not gonna say you should give him tips Jimmy: still don't wanna 🥊 tah Janis: Not gonna break no baby hearts, so you're safe for now Jimmy: now I know you're feeling 🤢 Janis: you're gonna have to later Jimmy: what for? Janis: 🥊 Janis: not me Jimmy: I thought you meant 💔👶 Jimmy: not in the job description but alright Janis: 'course not Janis: be a weird rule to have at any of 'em Janis: ☕ or 💕 Jimmy: piss easy though Janis: that's not up for debate Janis: taking the 🍭🍬 is well known Jimmy: *🍪🧁 Jimmy: off you and them Janis: so tough Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I won't wanna go Janis: you promised you'd teach me how to do the thing Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: I'll make it worth your while Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: come on Janis: you know me Jimmy: and you know I'm only pissing about, Jules Jimmy: VERY impressive, you Jimmy: said it before Janis: I'll get you to say it again Janis: one way or another Jimmy: you can't just say that like it's nowt and we're just gonna go crack on with ☕🎨 Janis: why not? Jimmy: you know why not Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: you're so Janis: that's you Jimmy: you Janis: you did such a good job on your first job Janis: you deserve to have a good shift Jimmy: it weren't a job today Janis: true Jimmy: I'll call in sick if you want, my nursing kink ain't gone nowhere Janis: No, no Janis: we'll have a good time Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: you can but I'm gonna do my best Jimmy: you'd know I were faking if I tried to bother Janis: let's not Janis: even if they're there Janis: we can still work it Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Jimmy: it still won't feel like a job, however hard work 💀👑 and her mates are Janis: neither of us need it Janis: they'll see 😍 regardless 'cos they want to Jimmy: right Jimmy: we've done our 💕 posts Janis: and it's not like I'll be ignoring you Jimmy: or that I can ever ignore you Janis: they don't know the difference Jimmy: 🧠💀💀💀 Janis: and you do 💀💀 me Janis: really Jimmy: you're killing me now Janis: sorry Janis: IOU Jimmy: when you feel less hungover Janis: I don't feel hungover Janis: I just miss you and I'm gonna miss you Jimmy: no need to miss me now and if you do in a bit I'll do the balcony scene 🌹 Jimmy: gone further to come get you and I didn't get lost Janis: it was VERY impressive, baby Jimmy: do alright under pressure Jimmy: @ my manager Janis: I'll put it on the trip advisor review Jimmy: tah Janis: I'll keep it PG Janis: or at the very least be vague about which barista I'm fucking Jimmy: I get it, this were nowt but a plan to get Pete's girlfriend to piss off Janis: 🤫🤫 Janis: worked SO hard on this plan, you ain't fucking it up for me Jimmy: 🤐 for now but he'll get it out of me Janis: great, now I've got to have a threesome with you 🙄 Jimmy: need a different eye rolling emoji for that Jimmy: get a bit closer to your actual review Janis: don't you dare make me 😳 in front of him Jimmy: it ain't my fault you're 😳 whenever I'm about Janis: psh Janis: whichever way you look at it that's clearly bollocks Jimmy: you're 🗨 bollocks denying it, mate Janis: shut up Jimmy: make me Janis: you're on Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: sorted our kid out now, I can do you before we have to go Janis: 1. no you can't 2. don't add me to your to-do list Jimmy: 1. yeah I can 2. you're top of every list, don't be a dickhead Janis: I want you too much Jimmy: so come here Jimmy: there's loads I can do about that Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [I'm just like do we want these kids to ruin this for you or no cos clearly both around] Janis: [when we're gonna be so rude later we're like ahh have everything lol, you probably would get cocklblocked though being real] Jimmy: [hence I was conflicted because Ian is gonna be a huge cunt and hurt you boy but realism though] Janis: [you can have an enjoyable time at the CG before we make you say goodbye it's okay, like it's not but] Jimmy: [we're doing what we can lads, you're welcome] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to then now if you like] Janis: [skippity doo dah] Jimmy: [do we wanna do any of the CG stuff is the question or fully go to later] Janis: [we could just vibe out how the gals are 'cos we already said Mia and co are being extra like skipping school is so shocking, then skip to when they have to say goodbye 'cos it'll be emosh] Jimmy: [that's a fair shout I think because yeah we know that they'll be goals without trying so it's just how Mia's trying to be] Janis: ['cos soon she's gonna literally get him fired so clearly she's gonna be a cow] Jimmy: [making complaints like a Karen when he's literally done nothing wrong, we see you] Janis: [she should be like IS THAT GIRL TRAINED when he's letting Janis do some latte art, as if they're giving anyone the ones she's making, so then they have to stop] Jimmy: [that's so petty she would, like gal we weren't gonna serve it to you we're just having a nice time while there is a lull in customers step back] Janis: [seriously, excuse us tryna have fun, like we still will but clearly that's the vibe, any time they try to do something she's like UM] Jimmy: [yeah and any time he tries to go remotely near the bae's table she suddenly needs something as if he's the only barista here] Janis: Can she be our second victim? Janis: 🔪🔪 Jimmy: first Jimmy: no need to hang about Janis: I'll clearly poison her 'cos I dunno how to make a latte Janis: whoops Jimmy: could let you loose with the steam wand Janis: her face just looks like that Jimmy: exactly, can't be traced back to you Janis: I don't want Pete to give me his disappointed face when he has to give her a bandage and write it in the accident book though Janis: 😥 Jimmy: I'll say it were me, piss easy to get his forgiveness 😘 Janis: rude Jimmy: it's alright, I know how to get yours an' all Janis: you do not Jimmy: 😏 Janis: dickhead Janis: meant to be focused on the murder anyway, you've got well off topic Jimmy: Oi, well decent at 🤹 now, me Janis: you need to work on your 🏃 clearly Jimmy: get my 🐕 trained and then we'll 🗨 Janis: am I even qualified? Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: can you get 💀👑 to behave herself or what? Janis: could give it a go Janis: what's in it for me though Jimmy: other than getting to rub her noise in her 🤮 next time she pisses off to the 🚽 how dickheads do when their 🐕s piss, you mean? Jimmy: what else do you want? Janis: save on you cleaning it up, you mean Janis: but alright Janis: [go over to the gals table like they haven't been actively being bitchy like HEY BABES WHAT'S UP] Jimmy: [comes over too like is there anything else you need and just being subtly but not subtly touchy feely with the bae while you're there to annoy Mia like what are you gonna do bitch make a complaint cos I'm playing with her hair] Janis: [getting y'all a massive cake or muffin or whatever that you would never order yourselves like our treat!] Jimmy: [LOL I love that, Hollie will be buzzing] Janis: [finally some food, just force feeding you like what are you gonna do, say no and look weird? I think not] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: worth it for the 😨😰 Janis: just collateral the ones that eat occasionally are getting fed but I'll cope Jimmy: do you want owt or have they made you lose your appetite? Jimmy: tell me so I can fake that I 🧠📖 Janis: I'll take a smoothie Janis: bonus points that I can brag about how talented you are or whatever Jimmy: and she can have a go that I ignored a load of dickheads to get it done for you Jimmy: they must be 👻s an' all Janis: since when was 💕a crime, Mia Janis: must've been dumped Jimmy: when I'm 45 and undercover 👮🚔 but that's our secret so Janis: She'd be far too into you then Janis: no escape Jimmy: [IRL 🤫 cos he looks hot doing it and then it looks like they are being saucy with their convo lol] Janis: [🤭 energy back but not exactly that obviously] Jimmy: [😏😍 energy that is not fake because I 100% assume she's wearing his clothes rn cos not been home and looking cute af] Jimmy: [definitely giving as many LOOKs as we can while we make this smoothie] Janis: [she definitely is so that's adorable and we never need to fake this energy lbr] Jimmy: [you've never had to fake much of anything we know and that's why this works] Janis: [mhmm, faking an interest in y'alls convo however? very much so] Janis: please tell me you're due a 🚬 soon Jimmy: manager ain't about to stop me Jimmy: bit busy with his 👂🩸 from all her whinging probably Janis: definitely better not go out back as it's staff only Jimmy: What?! 😱 you DON'T work here? Jimmy: top ☕🎨 like that! Janis: I know right?! Janis: #hiremegreg Jimmy: [writes her a review as if she do work here] Janis: pretty generous Jimmy: [shows her some pics of his early latte art like look how shit I was] Janis: awh, baby's first ☕🎨 Janis: only got a few years before your brother comes for this gig too Jimmy: 🤞 they'll have heard of coffee in the north by then Jimmy: he'll be 💔😭😭 else Janis: 😏 Janis: you're not emmerdale northern, I remember, can't fool me Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: real 🤞 he's stopped copying me ages before that Janis: you'll lose your ✨ Jimmy: ⏲ Jimmy: [give her this smoothie with today's 🎨 on the napkin and a kiss on the cheek] Janis: [insta that in front of the gals, obvs, just showing you all how cute we are] Janis: 🤞 I don't forget and wipe my face with that Jimmy: 🤞 I've got my 📷 out when you do Janis: I won't Janis: 🐘 memory Jimmy: 💔 you'd look well shakespearian with a pen beard Jimmy: Bill's gonna roll in his ⚰ at the missed chance Janis: I don't need to think about him that excited, tbh Jimmy: 👻🎻 Janis: you're the slag, you deal with it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: leave you with whatever you wanna 💭 about instead Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: what happened to our break? Jimmy: nowt, ready when you are Janis: [run away because we are over this girly chat like let's go] Jimmy: [you lasted longer than I would gal hence Jimothy will light you a 🚬 cos deserved] Janis: [you can dramatically breathe out like PHEW] Jimmy: [do your own because we all know what you're thinking about but we can pretend it's either a pisstake of hers or in solidarity] Janis: [reaching out to squeeze the hand that isn't holding his cigarette] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on the back of hers but not establishing whether we're saying we are or asking if she is] Janis: [kissing the back of his] Jimmy: [kissing her dramatically because he cannot handle the softness rn] Janis: [we can go with that too] Jimmy: [just have a moment lads that's deserved too] Janis: [going in 'cos our emotions] Jimmy: [likewise because it's not like you care about all the people going past or that can see you inside] Janis: [keep going to say 'we-' and 'you-' like many times but never actually finishing either sentence 'cos you know he can't] Jimmy: [and don't talk to me about how tightly he's holding onto her because never mind this break not being long enough, this whole shift isn't and the goodbye and how evil I'm gonna be is looming over us] Janis: [gonna need someone to come through and break yous up we all know it] Jimmy: [thank god there's lots of possibilities for that cos of where you are] Janis: [someone else just tryna have their break lol] Jimmy: [soz but not] Janis: [truly] Janis: I'll brb Jimmy: Where you going? Janis: just need to get some stuff Jimmy: 🔪🪓🔧🔨🧱🧨🛢 I get it Janis: exactly Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: they should fuck off now 🤞 Jimmy: *🤞😁🤞 Janis: I'll do that whole way down the street, like Jimmy: 📷 it for us Jimmy: nowt else would do to make me 😁😁😁 Janis: ugh Janis: now I have to Jimmy: if you want a 🏆 or IOU Janis: [obviously we are] Jimmy: [have a lil reaction vid back as if we're not literally meant to be working because we're a nerd and in love] Janis: there we go Janis: all worth it now Janis: even though I looked like tiktok tammy Jimmy: 🦍🌃 Jimmy: you could NEVER Janis: compliment or diss? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: dunno Janis: 'cos if you're saying I can't dance like I'm having a seizure that's a lie Jimmy: you're gonna have to prove that now, you get that, yeah? Jimmy: walked right into making yourself look a twat Janis: you ask for any more 📷 and it's just gonna be weird Jimmy: alright, if you'd rather do it here in front of dickheads buying ☕ crack on Jimmy: I'll wait Janis: what about me doesn't scream 'loves an audience' Jimmy: what about me makes you reckon I'll be up for being your fake boyfriend after any of that bollocks? Jimmy: far as plans to dump me go Janis: you're the one asking me to do it, dickhead Janis: can't reverse psychology your way into getting to be the one doing the dumping Jimmy: you set yourself up, dickhead, nowt to do with me Janis: you could let it slide Janis: you already know I can dance Jimmy: I could Jimmy: you have got that IOU Janis: not what I'd use it for in an ideal world but Jimmy: might let you keep it and let it go an' all if I like the sound of what you would use it for Jimmy: am in a VERY 😁 mood now Janis: that'd be telling Janis: can't risk that 😁 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you said it were in an ideal world, nowt but 😁 there Janis: but that ain't where any of us is Janis: so no point Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: yeah Janis: you weren't meant to stop 😁 Jimmy: doing my customer service face, it's as near Janis: if you're an alien who's never seen a person before Jimmy: busted 💔 Janis: 👮=👽 checks out Jimmy: bit racist of you but I get it, the north does look like something out of a shite sci fi film Jimmy: all them fuming orange lasses with nowt on 🤞 for 👽 Janis: bit up yourself Janis: but won't disagree Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: maybe you should go back Janis: first, like Jimmy: what for? Janis: so your dad has to relocate Jimmy: might just still be about big enough for the both of us Janis: it might work Janis: if you keep doing a runner Jimmy: don't see that happening with 👶👶🐕 Janis: he'd get fed up of looking after them, right Jimmy: not leaving them with him long enough to find out Janis: okay Jimmy: or trusting Ian to work out where I'd gone even if I left a 💌 with a drawn out map Janis: he can't be that thick Jimmy: why can't he? Janis: it's impossible he's not heard what your sister wants Janis: ignoring it is another issue Jimmy: yeah Janis: anyway Jimmy: what he's too thick to work out is that she wants a person not a place Jimmy: that's how he reckons he can make it work here with his 🎁💰🐕 Janis: guess he can't give that anywhere Jimmy: he could give her her mates back who were there and know about it, instead of this bollocks where it only gets 🗨 for each new Sharon who comes about Janis: so tell her to do it Jimmy: what makes you think I can tell her to do owt Janis: it's what she wants to do, so help her do it so she doesn't fuck it up Jimmy: she's a kid, I'm not helping her piss off on her own Janis: not permanently Janis: just so he has to do something about it Jimmy: no Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not alright, what the fuck's wrong with you? Janis: she's 12, not 2 Janis: and you said she has friends, all it is is showing up on their doorstep unannounced and waiting for their parents to call Jimmy: she's my sister, not some dickhead I don't care about that I'd use to score points against him Janis: I didn't say you had to, it was just a suggestion Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I said alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: what? Janis: forget it Jimmy: forget what? Janis: don't be a dick Jimmy: you started it Janis: by trying to help, sure Jimmy: I never asked for it Janis: nah, 'course not Jimmy: you don't know her Jimmy: and if she got it into her head to go looking for my mum instead of pissing about at a mates for a bit, fuck knows what'd happen Janis: like it's going to be easy to convince your dad to move back when he moved for a reason Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Jimmy: I know how decent his job here is Janis: you either want to do something about it or you don't Janis: and you clearly don't so that's what forget it means Jimmy: stop having a go at me Jimmy: you clearly don't have a fucking clue about what I do or don't want Janis: this is pointless Jimmy: yeah, it is Janis: bye then Jimmy: 👋 Janis: I'll be over the road when you want your stuff back later Jimmy: it's nowt I need back in a bit Janis: then I'll leave it there Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [what do you wanna do like after he's gone home and dealt?] Jimmy: [I'll hit you back up because I was thinking injury wise like obvs it makes sense for them all to be hidden still because Ian is probs suss of Janis so like whatever healing his ribs have done they are probably fucked again but if it's lowkey that whole side of his body his wrist and arm would be an easy one for people to maybe notice at school but not think is a big deal because people hurt them all the time by putting them out when they fall etc and he can write with his other hand anyway but because we want some #drama and none of the bruises will be !! for a couple of days he could also have a dislocated shoulder as it's painful and shock factor for her to having to pop it back in but easy enough that she could without anyone else having to be involved] Jimmy: You still over the road or what? Janis: yes Janis: do you need to come in? Jimmy: come out Janis: ok Janis: [do that quickly 'cos we've clearly just been waiting] Jimmy: [I dread to think the state of this poor boy just trying not to cry outside mcvickers gaff like hey] Janis: [we're gonna be really shocked but pretending hard not to be like okay, just trying to survey the damage 'what do you need me to do?'] Jimmy: [show her your shoulder boy like nbd just casually pop this back into place because we're lowkey in shock here hence we told her to come outside even though you're gonna have to go in because you have to do this while he's lying on a bed you can't just do it here] Janis: [just gonna lead you inside without touching you or saying anything, just gesturing like come on 'it's okay' which is the furthest thing from the truth but what else can you say rn] Jimmy: [thank god you can trust her not only to do this but to not tell anyone because what a big ask when we're literally a month in] Janis: [lowkey, thank god you have a room here too, gonna rip your top off instead of trying to get it off 'cos impossible and bunching it in a way to make a decent gag because don't need to bite through your tongue or scream the house down, letting him get ready in that much and getting on the bed but not giving him loads of warning because best way to do it] Jimmy: [last we need is Libi or mcvickers rocking up and interrupting any of this so well played gal because he is not in a headspace to be helpful rn] Janis: [at least its one of those things where it's better once it's done so that'll be some minor relief for you, still, 'sorry' though 'cos it's fucking gnarly 'wait here' and going out to the bathroom, thank god they're old and probably have some decent painkillers, have to cross that bridge later when they think you've taken 'em for fun gal] Jimmy: [if he was thinking clearly he would not have come here because you already know too much gal and more importantly isn't not fair to make you do this when you're literally supposed to get xrays and shit first but here we are and you know he's saying sorry too and also trying to stop her from leaving even though she's literally just going too the bathroom and we realistically know that] Janis: [just keep telling him it's okay over and over 'we need to get you comfortable, okay? then we'll-' trail off 'cos we don't know and we know that's gonna be a journey to get there] Jimmy: [just nod because we know she's not wrong you do need those painkillers] Janis: [get as many of them down you as is safe boy, thanks for having a decent stash guys, also bandages we're gonna try to make use of now, taking his hand gently 'do you think any of the fingers are broken?'] Jimmy: [they gonna be suss about where all this has gone you're gonna have to lie convincingly gal, but for now we're just moving all our fingers by like messing about doing the signing alphabet and stuff like cos I'm gonna let you live and say they are okay] Janis: [sigh of relief like okay, we don't need to splint any of those, checking to see if he can bend his arm and how high he can etc before settling on splinting the whole forearm and then doing a sling 'he does realize you'll probably have to take more time off school now, where's the fucking sense in that' basically to ourselves and under our breath 'cos we know it's not logical and also not really about that] Jimmy: [didn't realise when you were having all that fun fake nursing each other that it would come to this, did you lads? ugh Ian, but jimothy is just getting ready to go when she's done this like okay thanks bye as if I'm just gonna let you walk out and go back to big brother duties and whatever else you're thinking about rn sir] Janis: [putting a hand out like stop 'you can't just go back'] Jimmy: ['I can't just stay here' like you literally can boy it's okay] Janis: '[just sit down, you need to give yourself chance to catch up'] Jimmy: [when you do sit down without arguing or saying anything pisstakey and it's so unlike him that we all hate it] Janis: [sit in silent shock for a sec guys 'you know you can't let him do this again' 'you will end up in hospital'] Jimmy: ['you're acting like there's owt else I can do that I've not'] Janis: ['that isn't what I'm saying' 'this isn't working, not any more'] Jimmy: ['What then, you still want me to tell Cass to crack on making him more fuming than I ever have done, knowing what he's like?] Janis: ['has he hit her?'] Jimmy: ['not yet'] Janis: ['you're gonna have to consider possibilities you don't like, you can't live like this'] Jimmy: ['there ain't a possibility I've not, I've been living like this for ages'] Janis: ['this isn't just discipline or whatever the fuck, it's assault and he knows that, wouldn't you be better off without him?'] Jimmy: ['where do you reckon we'd go? They're not better off without me'] Janis: ['I don't know, all I know is, he gives you any more injuries, neither of you will have any say who gets involved, okay'] Jimmy: ['he's got away with it this long'] Janis: ['well he isn't now'] Jimmy: ['I didn't come here for you to have another go at me'] Janis: ['I'm not'] Jimmy: ['nobody knows fuck all about it and that's the way it's staying'] Janis: [just shrugging like okay and getting up to go 'get some sleep' Jimmy: [likewise getting up to leave and actually go home this time like okay bye] Janis: ['next time this happens, don't come to me for help, because this isn't fair' 'because I do know and I'm not going to pretend I don't again'] Jimmy: ['I shouldn't have bothered coming this time' because we know it's not fair and we're just very sad and frustrated by life obvs 'do what you like' because lord knows we would if we could] Janis: ['I'm not going to tell anyone' 'but it has nothing to do with what I like, Jesus fucking Christ'] Jimmy: ['and I'm not saying tah for you not being a massive dickhead who'd proper fuck my little brother and sister over' a shrug but we're maintaining eye contact because this is serious] Janis: ['it's not about them' because it ain't Jimmy: ['you tell anyone and they'll get chucked into care same as I would'] Janis: ['remind him of that, not me'] Jimmy: ['you don't think I have done?'] Janis: ['there are ways to make it a more serious threat'] Jimmy: [just an exhausted sigh because he's doing everything he can always and it's not enough ever] Janis: ['think about it, the last thing he wants is people knowing, yeah? well I know'] Jimmy: ['might work for a bit, til he's too fuming to be bothered and just tells himself no dickhead'll believe you or owt else he needs to'] Janis: [just looks at him like there's all the evidence needed 'not like it's being made up though'] Jimmy: ['alright, it might be enough to get him to fuck off back to the north and get us away from you, but that don't help me'] Janis: ['except he doesn't want to go back, as is very fucking obvious by now, so it'd be easier for him to stop beating the shit out of you than do that'] Jimmy: [a look like yeah obviously but that doesn't mean he will] Janis: ['it's accountability, if he keeps doing it, I could tell anyone, everyone- he clearly reckons you won't by now, he doesn't know that about me'] Jimmy: [just clearly thinking about if she did have to then follow through on that threat though and tell everyone and how much he obviously doesn't want anyone to know and all of this is just in his expression rn] Janis: [shaking our head like well there's fuck all else to say rn 'get some sleep'] Jimmy: ['stop saying that' cos clearly neither of them will be able to very easily] Janis: ['you need it to heal'] Jimmy: ['just say you want me to piss off, you've already said not to bother coming back'] Janis: ['I'm trying to fucking help you'] Jimmy: ['I know' in a purely frustrated way but then repeating it in a soft way because we do know that] Janis: ['I don't know what else you want me to do'] Jimmy: ['I never said I knew what I were doing or what you should' this boy trying not to cry again over here] Janis: ['don't' but softly 'cos we've been trying not to cry this whole convo lowkey and we don't wanna do it now] Jimmy: [doing a feelsy lean with our good side because we want to hug her but we can't] Janis: ['I mean it' and moving away so he doesn't hurt himself, but not dramatically like get away] Jimmy: [a nod because we know and we appreciate everything she has done and is trying to do more than we can put into words without crying rn ' but I shouldn't have made you do that' a look at his shoulder 'I'm a dickhead'] Janis: [shrug like it's nothing, like I'm sure you've seen dislocated shoulders but doubt you were the one putting them back in but okay 'don't mean you deserve any of this'] Jimmy: [a look like don't because we know it's not nothing and we're really sorry about this now we're thinking clearer] Janis: ['you didn't have anywhere else to go'] Jimmy: ['that don't mean it were alright to come here and do this to you'] Janis: ['I'm not the one battered and bruised, I'm fine'] Jimmy: ['I'm used to that bollocks, it's having someone be bothered about it that I can't get my head round' when you aren't used to having people care about you ever so you always feel like you're fucking it up] Janis: ['be a pretty shit person if I didn't' 'so I can see the confusion' not really the time to be salty about that but we are] Jimmy: [a lol which we then regret because ouch] Janis: [tryna be serious like 'for fuck's sake' but a lil bit 😏] Jimmy: [when you wanna kiss her so much that you've simply got to, injuries be damned] Janis: [at least your face is purposely avoided so you'll be okay but you can't go in sad times for you 'I'm sorry' 'that you think I'm having a go at you'] Jimmy: [shaking his head because he genuinely doesn't think that 'I didn't mean that it were just -' no need to finish that because she knows what you mean, we've all been put through it tonight honey and we've already admitted we've been a dickhead] Janis: [nods because yeah 'I was never saying it was easy, I don't think that'] Jimmy: [also nods because yeah 'and I weren't saying it were a shit idea'] Janis: ['I just want-' not finishing that sentence like never mind 'anyway'] Jimmy: [all the eye contact because always 'what?'] Janis: ['I just want you to be alright' mumbling and not giving more than a second of eye contact like you haven't already said ily and that you care] Jimmy: [posing to show off the amazing job she's done bandaging him up and 😁 like I am alright now as if it's that simple] Janis: [just like mhmm like that is not what I mean and you know that but we don't need to get into it rn it's okay] Jimmy: [pull her even closer to you because we do know what she means and we appreciate it] Janis: [checking him like be careful please 'I'm sleeping on the floor' it's definitely a double but we don't wanna hurt him] Jimmy: [gestures at the bed like um look how much space there is compared to what we've used to 'no need for that'] Janis: ['could make a pillow wall' like people who hate their partners do lmao] Jimmy: ['that'll be Mia at every one of them sleepovers, cracking on just like her dad taught her' shading Ella and Mia's mum in one go lol] Janis: [we have to lol 'poor els, no 'accidental' rub ups for her'] Jimmy: [goes to do the 💔 but can only do half so has to force the bae to do the other bit for us] Janis: ['so tragic' and lowkey forcing him to get situated properly in this bed as comfortably as possible 'what are you gonna say happened then?' 'cos can't hide for the whole time it'd take to heal] Jimmy: ['weren't planning to do a q&a about it' cos he's honestly not thought about it yet with everything else he has been thinking about 'don't matter as long as nobody reckons you smacked me about'] Janis: [a look like who is going to think that? then rolling our eyes 'cos is the type of thing Mia would try to say lol 'well no one is going to think you got it playing a sport' cheeky bit of shade as we are looking in the wardrobe and under the bed for something] Jimmy: [chucking a pillow at her for the shade like oi 'I'll say I fell over or some bollocks, worked for my mum'] Janis: [making a noise like psh but we're not throwing that back 'you tryna prove you have aim? alright, I believe you' and coming back with the pillow and the sleeping bag we've retrieved to sleep in so we're not rolling all over] Jimmy: [a look like you know how good my aim is because any excuse to be saucy about anything especially when we're so upset about this whole sleeping situation but trying to downplay it] Janis: ['thank god you're ambidextrous' meant to be taking the piss out of him but it just sounds thirsty so we're loling] Jimmy: [😏 'you'll have to tweet that so the fans know'] Janis: ['the offers to fill in whilst you're injured would probably be a lot'] Jimmy: [😒 because we don't wanna think about that 'won't be a slaggy nurse's outfit left in this shithole once they've heard' because also true] Janis: [likewise 'gross' and shaking our head 'there's nothing sexy about hospital'] Jimmy: [a fed up sigh 'I can't be bothered with this' like it's an option to just not be injured, soz boy] Janis: [squeeze his non-injured hand like I know 'it'll be alright, we'll work it out'] Jimmy: ['can we not just fake going away like we were gonna do at new year's?' probably not boy but it's a nice thought] Janis: ['it'd be easier to actually go away' but a tone that's saying, that's how long it'd need to be, not suggesting it] Jimmy: ['let's do that then' as if that's remotely plausible in any way] Janis: ['are you concussed as well?' and moving our fingers about in front of him like follow but 😏 'cos we don't think he actually is obvs or we wouldn't be joking] Jimmy: [takes her hand and turns it into a 👍 like she's agreeing to his great idea 'wouldn't even have to be for that long' because we know he's not gonna do the 2 weeks off that you're meant to when you dislocate your shoulder because he never does what he's supposed to] Janis: ['where are we going then?' as we lay down ourselves] Jimmy: ['where do you wanna go?'] Janis: ['don't care' because we don't 'what about you?@'] Jimmy: ['what makes you think I care?' because likewise we don't] Janis: ['then just not here it is' turning to face him in our little sleeping bag 'assuming the pain pills don't wear off and you change your mind'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile at the prospect of getting to leave for a bit together even hypothetically tbh 'when they wear off you might change yours' and doing a 😒 af face] Janis: ['this is you being a delight, yeah?' and do a feelsy lean assuming we're sleeping on his good side 'cos makes sense] Jimmy: ['that were me doing an impression of you remembering what a nightmare I were last time we went away' because that skerries domestic when she tried to get him to sleep in a bed we all remember those joys] Janis: ['bit rude' like how dare you insinuated I'm ever grumpy lollolollll 'you'll be less trouble now you're fucked up' but a sad sigh 'cos its not funny though we're trying] Jimmy: [taking her hand again so you can write soz on it playfully but then just properly hold it because we heard that sad sigh and we are really soz in our heart] Janis: [doing the 👌 symbol which is probs hard to follow so then just doing a 💕 like] Jimmy: [doing an irl 🤝 because best friends forever] Janis: [then tucking him in like go to sleep nerd 'it'll be better in the morning'] Jimmy: [goes to say something because it won't be but we're deciding against it so she doesn't sad sigh again and closing our eyes instead] Janis: [gently lean over and kiss both his eyes] Jimmy: [not opening our eyes or anything but 'I really fucking like you' with feeling because he do] Janis: [got to kiss you on the lips with as much feeling 'cos we cannot trust ourselves to say anything rn] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's been a very dramatic night]

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