#and this is the worse time for this to be happening I get super suicidal round my period more so than normal days with normal depression | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yuri-is-online · 15 days

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The TWST cast from the original Fyuuture Kid timeline is so Cleopatra by Lumineers coded. They just get their (pregnant) joyfriend ripped away from them, cursed, and then sent back to earth, where they can't follow all in one day. That's gotta be a fucking nightmare. They just lose everything at the same time. Bro. Imagine Jamil or Azul, they had to fight for everything and just when they finally, FINALLY, think they have something that will never leave, it's taken away. Imagine malleus or cater or silver; they've already lost so much, silver just lost his dad and now, when he's going to make his own family, they're taken from him too.

TW FOR SUICIDE.

You wrote one time that of Yuu ever died, Floyd would be quick to follow, so. Did Jade and Azul have to put him on suicide watch? My mind is reeling there were NO WINNERS in this timeline Goddamn.

Sorry for the angst dude I just think about this AU a lot

i am so sorry for making you all live with this many thoughts and just waltzing on off to do fuck all

So there weren't any winners in the original timeline no, but the way things went down sort of prevented the type of outcome you are describing with Floyd due to the potential for hope, that most dangerous of falsehoods. In a way that sort of makes it worse though... so lets talk about what went down shall we?

(I'm going to keep this post to more general information, but I did write some specific ship thoughts I'll probably use for another post later on, I just need to think on some of them more...)

notes: they/them used for Yuu, this is part of my fyuuture kid au which can be found under the series section of my masterlist. This post will not contain discussions of suicidal ideation, but will contain major character death and descriptions of violence. If you are curious about what happened to Yuu and Fyuuture kid, look at this post here.

General Original Timeline Facts

To give a brief re-cap of what happens to Yuu, they were arrested by the Magical Marshall's office and sent back to their world, while pregnant, and cursed to forget everything that had happened to them in Twisted Wonderland. Something I didn't mention in that first post, mostly because I intended to imply it in the answer about Riddle's relationship with Yutu but ended up cutting, is that none of the characters actually know that this is what happened at first. They know that Yuu disappeared, but they don't know that the Marshalls were involved or that Yuu went back to their world, which causes a real sense of panic in all of them because holy shit their spouse and unborn child just went missing and they can't seem to get anyone to take this seriously. How the Marshalls went about hiding this information, and what the general public believed happened to Yuu depends on who their husband was, as did the fallout of their disappearance.

For anyone who might be a bit confused, the Magical Marshall's Office is an elite squad of police officers who investigate magical crime, and occasionally deal with overblots. They are the organization that Deuce wants to join one day, which does mean that the people who made the decision to see Yuu as a threat to public safety and send Yuu home were Deuce's own co-workers and friends.

Deuce is the first to suspect that the Marshall's might have had something to do with Yuu's disappearance, but he isn't able to really do much with that. He tries, but he is stonewalled and eventually fired- though by the time that happened monster attacks started getting really bad in the Queendom and Deuce had a whole other set of questions.

Speaking of those monster attacks, the instant Yuu is removed from Twisted Wonderland Grim overblots I have an idea as to why, but it isn't super set in stone. This "Chimera" begins hunting and stirring up monsters, inciting them to attack civilization while it focuses on trying to "wake up" the Phantoms of the Great 7. These phantoms want to re-join with their respective overblot boy, which is an easier task for some of them than others.

The first phantom to re-appear was the Thorn Fairy's. Malleus chose to seal himself and his phantom in an eternal sleep inside the Briar Valley capital after ordering Sebek and Silver to evacuate everyone who lived there, leaving his people truly leaderless and in shambles. He technically also ordered Lilia to go with them, but he refused. He wasn't able to abandon another Draconia to die alone. A lot of nocturnal fae died to the Phantom before Malleus's sacrifice, but because the problem was more or less contained to Briar Valley not all of the other nations saw the monster problem as a threat. They should have.

The second phantom to re-appear was The Queen of Hearts'. Riddle, having been approached by Deuce with his suspicions regarding Yuu's disappearance and outraged by what he saw as a clear violation of the law (if nothing else) was easy prey and re-assimilated into the monster. The phantom then began hunting down each of Riddle's previous dorm mates to corrupt them into card soldiers for its army, eventually fashioning four lieutenants that were a touch more sentient that the others out of Trey, Cater, Deuce, and Ace.

Certain members of the Al-Asim family saw that happen and quietly, without Kalim's knowledge, arrange to have Jamil killed. This doesn't prevent the Sorcerer of the Sands' phantom from reuniting with him, it just means the monster is puppeteering a corpse. And dragging around a second once it gets its hands on Kalim...

Obviously at this point something of a pattern has been established, meaning S.T.Y.X. is expected to do something. Idia does not actually overblot for a second time thank you very much, Phantom Ortho has a mind of his own and he promised to stay in the Underworld until it was Idy's time. His first order of business is to check in on Vil, Azul, and Leona to make sure they're ok. He manages to make contact with Vil, but the Coral Sea proves impossible to get a message through to and Leona is M.I.A. Literally, he and Ruggie have both disappeared while investigating monster attacks around the slums. Idia has a decision to make, and it's not one he really likes, but S.T.Y.X. has a better relationship with the Sunset Savannah than it does the Coral Sea, so it's off to the Elephant Graveyard while Vil agrees to stay behind on the Isle of Woe under observation for his own safety.

It's a decision Idia regrets later. He gets to Leona in time to help him fight and kill the King of Beasts's phantom, but it costs Leona and Ruggie their lives, and while he's there, the Sea Witch's phantom finds Azul and begins using his magic to drain the merfolk dry. Floyd manages to use his unique magic to distract Azul long enough to allow Jade to escape, who only flees because he thought his brother was behind him the whole time. The oceans become polluted with blot, forcing the surviving merfolk to the surface. Many go to NRC and take refuge in the Octavinelle dorm pocket dimension, resulting in the Mostro Lounge being closed to make more room. Somehow that feels more like a killing blow to Azul for Jade than what the phantom did.

Schools like NRC, RSA, and Nobel Bell become sort of centers for survivors due to the large amounts of mages, magical wards, and artifacts that such schools typically have made them safer than most towns. NRC specifically has seen a large influx of magicless people who run a lot of the things the ghosts used to and runs a lot of normal school classes in additional to the magic program, which shifts over time to be more focused on fighting due to the increased monster attacks.

Also Crewel is now Headmage. It would have been Trein but I don't think he needs the stress. I haven't decided if he is still alive or not, but Vargas and Sam are still kicking.

So to give a run down of where everyone stands in the original timeline in order: Malleus and his phantom are trapped in an eternal sleep, Lilia is dead, Silver and Sebek are alive (at least at first) and trying to help the fae refuges displaced by the Thorn Fairy's Phantom. All of Heartslabyul are overblot phantoms, and actively making the Queendom of Roses unlivable. Jamil was assassinated and the Sorcerer of the Sands's phantom went on to kill Kalim and most of his family. To be clear that wasn't because of Jamil's lingering emotions, but good luck explaining that to most people. Vil and Idia are overblot free, Vil because he is being detained on the Isle of Woe and Idia because of his promise with Phantom Ortho. Leona and Ruggie died fighting the King of Beast's phantom. Azul and Floyd are blot phantoms, while Jade is alive and tending bar at what remains of the lounge at NRC.

Now Epel, Rook, and Jack aren't named in that list. No one really knows what happened to them, but they are assumed dead (or at least Jack and Epel are.) Since this is my AU and I get to give out the information, I'll let you know that Rook is a phantom under control of the Fairest Queen's phantom, Jack is dead, and Epel is alive, but cut off from the rest of Twisted Wonderland by the monsters under the Fairest Queen's control. He's right teed off about that, hey Yutu go get him that ladder he's gonna give Rook a piece of his mind-

I do have some ship specific thoughts but I want to cook with them a bit more... but to maaaybe tease some of them?

Yutu and his friends had to fight the Heartslabyul boys multiple times. Yes this hurt their Yutus a lot, and is one of the main reasons Riddle! Yutu hates his dad so much.

Vil can hear the Fairest Queen talking to him and it's not great for his mental stability. Neither is being cooped up in the Isle of Woe, his Yutu did meet him and remembers it being a terrifying experience.

Jade has a good relationship with Floyd! Yutu, Jade and Floyd are their own people but losing Floyd killed a part of him that was slightly healed by getting his nephew back. He likes to tease Azul! Yutu and told him a great deal about his dad. As for his own Yutu... their relationship is a tad strained by how protective Jade is over his son. He is terrified of losing him and what is left of his pearl...

Not all Yutus are in the same dorm as their father. I haven't decided on where all of them are yet, but I did mention once in my replies that Azul! Yutu is in Savanaclaw. I did not mention that he did intend to transfer but couldn't when he accidentally became the Dorm Leader because he got tired of being mouthed off to and knocked someone out. I have an ask about Cater! Yutu I'm working on but I'll add him here as having been put into Octavinelle, and I think I want to put Kalim! Yutu into Pomefiore but I need to cook more...

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #future kid au #tw character death #ngl i cried when i was writing about jade #so no one yell at me i am already yelling at myself ok

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 18 days

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AITA for keeping my friend away from a party?

This was a Christmas party mid December so it’s been a few months but I still feel extremely guilty for what happened. I had attempted suicide at the beginning of December so I wasn’t in the greatest headspace leading up to this event. I wasn’t sleeping well and hadn’t slept at all before the party. I was considering just staying home but my friends and I agreed that it would probably do me good to go.

The party was themed around a musical group we all enjoy. For the first few hours or so things were going well. But then we started doing trivia. The trivia was split between actual trivia questions (like when is X’s birthday) and opinion questions (like what is your favorite live performance by the group). EM, AN, and I are far more casual fans than AY and BA. BA is a super fan and knows just about everything you can about the group. She’s also the one who made the trivia. The rest of us were not doing well. We were getting nearly nothing correct for the regular trivia questions and didn’t know enough about the group to answer most of the opinion questions. AN and I started having fun by teaming up but that made BA very angry. She yelled at us and tried to get us to move so we weren’t sitting near each other. After that I sort of shut down. I’m autistic so when I shut down I go nonverbal so I wasn’t talking and I stopped writing anything down for answers. It wasn’t like I knew the answers anyway. This made BA even angrier. She kept yelling at me to write something and I just couldn’t. It was like I was frozen. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, I was certain I was going to start crying. AY asked if I needed to go home and I nodded.

AY’s husband offered to drive me home since AN drove me to the party but AN said she didn’t mind driving me home. I figured she’d just take me home then return to the party but she ended up coming in to my apartment with me to make sure I was okay. Once I was able to talk again I told her I was okay if she wanted to return to the party. She told me she hated the trivia so she wasn’t in a hurry to go back. We ended up hanging out at my apartment and talking for close to 2 hours. I asked her a few times during that time if she wanted to/should go back but she chose to stay. I know AY messaged her at one point but I don’t know what either of them said. After she left I went to bed.

AY messaged me the next morning checking to make sure I was okay. And everything was fine with her. But from after the party until around early February BA was ignoring me. She tends to do that if she gets angry at me. I didn’t put much effort into trying to talk to her because when she’s in one of these moods she either ignores me or is extremely mean and I’d rather deal with being ignored than the mean mode. At some point in February she started taking to me again as if nothing was wrong. This is what usually happens. She starts taking to me again and we pretend nothing happened and never really address what was wrong. I’m pretty sure she was angry about what happened at the party. I asked AN if she had any other ideas but she was certain it had to do with that as well. I feel extremely bad about shutting down, ruining the vibes, and having to leave early. I feel like that was an ESH situation. What I want to know is if I was the asshole for keeping AN away from the party. I feel I should have insisted she go back once I was able to talk again. I think that’s likely what BA was upset about. I feel like I was selfish and just happy to have someone to talk to for a little while without the pressure of the trivia at the party but it made things worse between BA and I.

So AITA for keeping my friend from the party?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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starrclownshazbinblog · 3 months

Text

I was sitting in a box when I realized something. I've given you guys GENERAL facts about my Hazbin Rewrite, but have I given you STRICTLY angst facts? Sad depressing facts about these characters? I have not. Good thing I have angst to spare.

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Angsty, Sad facts about my rewrite for Character purposes, general information, or because I want your day to be a little worse than it was.

TRIGGERWARNING: DEATH, RACISM, SEXUAL ASSULT, GROSS TOPICS IN GENERAL. PLEASE BE WARNED!!

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Angel's wife died in child birth. She wasn't a main priority condensending she's a POC like Angel. The baby managed to survive but Angel developed depression after that instance.

Nifty's parents were never able to have a proper funeral for their daughter. When Nifty was pushed into the fire, her husband's mistress ran out of the home, leaving Nifty's body burning. She was so unrecognizable and burnt that he parents couldn't have a funeral. (I kinda just spoiled why Nifty's in hell didn't I?)

Arakaniss was the one to mess up Angel's eye. Angel holds some resentment over this but not as much as he rightfully should. Arakaniss still makes himself suffer for it.

Angel almost killed Alastor when they fought. He's the reason Alastor has that scar at the base of his neck.

Valentino gets... handsy with Vox, even more when he's drunk. It's never gotten super far but he's definitely had to be pushed off. Vox refuses to call himself a victim. (He is.)

Angel has alot internalized homophobia. Like alot.

Valerie's crack on her head is from her ex boyfriend smashing her head into the counter, affectively killing her.

Valerie's parents are kinda homophobic. Not viciously homophobic, juts passively homophobic. Valerie ended up in a relationship with a man even though she's a lesbian because she didn't want her family to disown her.

Lucifer kicked Charlie out and claimed to disown her. Lilith was the one to gift Charlie the Hotel so she could achieve her dream.

Cherrie Bomb was absolutely terrified when she showed up in Hell. This terror and confusion lead to her almost being murdered by a exterminator. Good thing Angel was there.

Cherrie was heavily abused and neglected by her parents growing up.

Angel kinda lost himself after his daughter died.

Madame Pentious was harassed and fun of when she was alive for being "ugly." She's never really been treated well.

Husk is someone who is passively suicidal. He isn't going out of his way to off himself in his afterlife but if Alastor snaps or a exterminator happens to catch him then he won't do much to fight back.

Cherrie actually gets really upset she can't hear well.

Valerie will do anything and everything to make sure Charlie is happy. Valerie has been treated so bad that she thinks "I'm nothing without you. I have to do everything right cause what am I without you."

Arakaniss and Molly we're the one to find Angel's body. They died shortly after him. They don't like to talk about it.

Husk will let you treat him like a punching bag.

Nifty has undiagnosed Adhd. She also doesn't know she has Adhd. This leads her to breaking down at times because she doesn't understand what's wrong with her and why she can't just be normal.

Alastor's parents died extremely young. Being a orphaned black child that inspired to be in a white dominated job lead to much harrasment and troubles. Over coming this harasment and being successful is one of Alastor's greatest achievements. This is where his ego stems from.

Angel, Alastor, Nifty, Valerie, Arakaniss, Molly and Velvette have all been harassed for their race.

Angel used to be like Cherrie in the worst way. Arackaniss is really bad at showing his love and appreciation so this lead to unintentional harshness he showed on Angel. Angel strived for YEARS to make Arakaniss proud. Cherrie is like this currently. Angel is trying to change this mindset because he knows how exhausting it is.

Husk was abused by alot of people in his life.

Husk being transgender has caused him problems when it comes to dating. Men see him as a woman, Woman see him as a woman. Sexual relationships are even worse.

Valerie used to self harm alot. She still has these scars on her arms. (Charlie tries to put bandaids on them not understanding that she's not actually in pain.)

Angel isn't someone who relies on drugs. He's more of a passive drug addict. He only resorts to drugs when things get tough or if he's in his own head to long. This developed after the death of his wife but got worse when his daughter died.

Isabella, Angel's daughter, died even younger than Nifty. She was somewhere in her teens. She's not in hell. She's all alone in heaven.

Henroin (Angel's dad), died before Isabella. He doesn't know how Isabella died or when she died.

Henroin, Arackaniss, and Molly don't actually know where Angel is. A Lil bit of a lore dump: After Angel became a overlord, he doesn't go out barely at all. He doesn't go to meetings ND he doesn't show his face. He only goes out for personal meetings or when he needs too. Most people don't know who he is or what he looks like, like the spider family. The spider family also keeps a low profile considering they are a actual mafia. Both sides are actively looking for wach other.

Henroin doesn't know Arackaniss is the one that messed up Angel's eye, Angel never told him.

I have more but I feel like this is enough. Why I decide to write these I don't know, just felt like I needed to take these characters and be them down emotionally.

Asks are always open, art is always here, have a good time :)

- ⭐️StarClown⭐️

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dirtytransmasc · 1 year

Note

TW: VERY DARK AND SUICIDE ATTEMPT (kind of)

Prompt :

He was six

Norm found him with his wrist slit

“Why’d you do this kiddo?”

“I wanted to get rid of the demon blood”

Jakes reaction

Neytiri stitched him up with an unreadable expression

IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMY

I UNDERSTAND, PLEASE DO NOT MAKE THIS IF ITS TO DARK!!!😭

oh my fucking god... it hurts so bad, but its so good. I love dark angst, there aren't many places I won't go, so have no worries anon.

head the trigger warnings above, I don't get super graphic, but I don't skid over any details either. disclaimer, mama!neytiri brain worms are liquefying my brain, so this is a little (a lot) neytiri-centric, cause I can't help it, its the worms I swear.

also, there are like 0 resources on na'vi medicine, so I'm just fucking winging it man, I'm gonna pull some shit out of my literal ass and we're all gonna have to just be ok with that. ~~~

norm wishes he could say he was shocked, surprised that this little boy wanted to hurt himself, let alone went through with it. he should have been gutted, more than he was at least, angry, put off, something. but not that its happened, he saw it from a mile away, he should have noticed, should have stopped it. all he felt was guilt, burning up his heart and knotting up his stomach as he put pressure on spiders tiny wrists, holding his lulling body in his arms. spider was just a kid, a baby, but he's muttering about 'getting rid of demon blood' and 'not belonging' and it being 'better off' if he was gone. it was somehow worse in his childish wording, his perfect innocence and naivety only just beginning to crack as the pain in his little chest began to swell.

it had been the odd quietness from spider's 'room' back in the cave marui's that alerted him to something being wrong. spider was quiet, in a way; when he was out playing with the kids he was loud, laughing, face filled with light and joy, even if something cold still glinted in his eyes. but when he was on his own, having been left behind or told off by some adult, human or na'vi alike, for getting in the way, he would sulk off to the little marui by the shack. but even if he would sit amongst himself, playing with the few figures someone had put time aside to make, attempting to weave a new piece of jewelry or basket, mending the sad little knife he wore on his side. he was always doing something, could be heard humming or sniffling, the sound of his knife on the wetstone or the clunking of wooden figures on each other were a constant. so when norm heard nothing but silence, his gut ticked up, the hair on his neck bristled, his legs carried him much farther they would on the average day until he was staring at spider and his little bloody arms and his little bloody knife and his sad little eyes.

it took only a split second for norm to come back to himself, to rush and pick the boy up before he had enough 'sense' to try and back away (spider never wanted trouble, never wanted to get in the way or be a burden, the fact he didn't try and hide worried norm more then it would of if he did, which was even more concerning in its own right).

he just held spider as tight as he could, his big blue hands easily covering his human wrists, trying to think of what he should do. he should say something, other then "its ok" but what does he say? what do you say to a six-year-old who just tried to kill himself, no, no, "get rid of the demon blood" coursing through his veins?

he wasn't going to lecture him, spider made it clear why he did it, comfort wasn't his strong suit. he could just look at his puffy little cheeks, one side of his mask blooded as he had attempted to wipe his cheek on instinct. so he just repeated a mantra of "I'm here" and "it's ok" and "your ok" until he reached the infirmary, trying to prtend he didn't feel spider slipping further and further away with each passing second.

in the flash of just a few seconds fueled by adrenaline alone, he knew he regretted everything. he was spider's caretaker sure, but he was no father, jake wasn't either, and the boy didn't have a single maternal figure to his name. no mother to kiss his brow at night or admire his accomplishments. he had no one, not truly, and norm allowed to happen, was not only complicit in it, but played a direct role in it. now he may not get to make that up, may not be given the chance to step up, to fix this.

he carried spider to the infirmary hut, knowing he would find someone, anyone, there who could help. part of him knew that mo'at had seen something in the child that brought some sort of pity from her, that maybe just this once, spider wouldn't be so alone in her presence.

when he entered the pod, he found mo'at showing neytiri something, explaining different herbs to her, though he didn't pay enough attention to it the lesson to pull out any identifying features of the herbs in question. both turned to look at him when they heard his rapid breathing, their gaze then shifting to the bloody boy in his arms, the ever-so-faint fogging of the glass that made up most of his exopack, and the ghostly parlor of spider's skin.

"put him down," mo'at commanded, before norm could even speak, clearing her pallet in an instant, "what happened to him?" her voice was firm, almost knowing.

"he...cut himself...intentionally...I don't know how long ago, but I found him in his pod alone and brought him right here."

"intentionally?" neytiri hissed, removing the boy from his arms when he couldn't get himself to comply with the order and holding him so she could listen to the weakening beat of his heart. she tied turniquotes around his upper forearm with the strands of clothing handed to her by her mother, absent-mindedly rocking the little thing where he rested held between her free-er arm and her chest, when the last bits of his consciousness were directed to fussing, no doubt from the pain. she couldn't bring herself to bind them too tight, just enough to control the bleeding, her hands and a bit of cloth could handle the rest.

(mo'at almost lectured her, but she saw that look in her daughter's eyes and knew it would be pointless, a mama bear gets what she wants)

norm had never seen the protective fire in her eyes, normally directed at her children, burn so bright for spider in the last few years she had known him. it scared him, it felt so unnatural that the very gaze he had learned to trust in most cases, froze him like a deer in headlights.

but that question, the tone of it, made his gut sink. how did he explain this, spider was just a baby, and he had slit his own wrists. that on its own was gut-wrenching, but the reason? Eywa have mercy.

"he said... he said he wanted to get rid of his demon blood, so he... he used his own knife and cut his wrists... its a common form of self harm back on earth, to cut yourself, but I don't even know how he would know to do that, why he would do it... I know why, but..." norm felt defeated. he should have seen something.

the look on neytiri's face made him want to tuck his tail between his legs and run off. she placed spider down as gently as one could, face scrunched up with pain and anger as she keeps pressure on both of spider's wrists.

"get jake, he is with the young hunters." she spoke quietly, her voice almost bitter. she didn't know if she blamed him, if she was angry with him, she barely understand how to feel about spider harming himself. all she knew is that he had just given her some of the most heartwrenching news she had heard in her life, so he was getting some of her mirth. norm nodded, racing off with his tail tucked between his legs, only hesitating to take another worried glance at the boy.

neytiri took a deep breath before turning to her mother. "he will need stitches, right?" she had never dealt with an injury quite like this before, the conscious effort in the wound made it clean and to the point, unlike a wound in battle. it strived to do quick, efficient damage, and now, either because she could barely let herself think straight, or because she genuinly didn't know, she couldn't think of the best way to treat it.

"yes, my daughter, but that is the least of his worries. he cut a large vein, those are very difficult to mend, stopping the bleeding will be difficult. he's already lost quite a bit of blood, so we need to be careful. the best thing would be to put a root paste to help clot the bleeding, wrap it up, and stitch it later." mo'at turned to her morter and pestle as she spoke, mixing different herbs, berries, and roots into a dark brown, almost purple, paste.

neytiri, nodded absently, while she picked through the basket at her side for bundles of lumped fibre and soft cloth to hold against his arms. luckily for him, while he did manage to do some damage and with the help of the tourniquets, one wrist had already stopped bleeding a fair bit, and the other was manageable.

in the silence of the hut, her mother working quietly behind her, turning every once and a while to check his breathing or giving her a tincture to clean his wounds with, neytiri was left to think.

demon blood.

he had done this because of the words she and so many spat at the sight of him. he had tried to rid himself of his sins, the sins of his father, the sins of his people; but were they really his to begin with? what had he done, in his six years of life, to have earned the hate he received? was the blood he carried in his veins enough to justify pushing a child to this?

no, she decided, no it was not.

seeing him so pale and lifeless in norms arms woke something in her, something deep in her gut, maternal rage coursing through her with something vicious, and even if she didn't deserve it after all she had done to him, pushed him to do, her heart was attempting to claim his as her own, and she didn't know what to do with that feeling. then she realized, that the maternal drive that prowled in her stomach like a thanator ready to pounce, not only saw the world as a threat, but saw her as a threat.

her mother handed her the salve and she was grateful for anything to do to take her mind off of the few revelations she managed to have while waiting.

"put more of the salve where the bleeding is stronger, then wrap it tight, be careful to not make it so tight it takes off his hand." the older woman guided, watching over her daughters work.

neytiri scooped it out bit by bit, slowing rubbing it onto the wounds while her mother blotted away the blood, her ears dipping whenever the boy his with pain or tried to pull away. she just wanted to make him better, to take him up into her arms and tell him it was alright like she would if he was one of her own children. but she knew she couldn't, he would wake up and see the monster who filled his little mind with such awful thoughts of himself, that he would be just as scared of her as he always was, and that she could bring him no comfort. so he was extra gentle as she finished off the paste, and held him like delicately as she wrapped the bandage around his wrists, gushing him gently each time he cried out, combing back his hair when she felt she was finished.

then jake came barreling in, breaking up the delicate silence that for a single second allowed her to believe it was just a normal day, that the new found fantasy of just being able to mother this child was true, that allowed spider to lay in peaceful sleep with her shawl over him. norm was trying to hush him, before he woke the baby, but there was no stopping jake, not when his face was full of pain and anger, looking as if he would plow down a titanothere just to get to spider.

neytiri knew jake had taken to spider more than he had let on, but the beast in her belly screamed that he hadn't done enough either, that he didn't earn the right to worry either. but she hushed it, knowing neither had the right to claim anything, not even over each other.

"ma'jake, quiet, or you will wake him and... he will be in pain. so let him sleep while he can," she attempted to soothe quietly, resisting every urge to just scoop him up when jakes loud entry did in fact stir him.

jake sat across from her, his hand resting on spider's chest, feeling the soft rise and fall of the boy's chest. "did he really?" he asked, eyes begging for her to tell him it wasn't true. she knew he would much rather hear of a freak accident over this, but she couldn't give him that mercy.

"yes, it would seem so." her voice was short, worn, despite barely saying a word this whole time.

jake crumpled a little, much more on the inside then he attempted to let show on the outside. neytiri was used to it, jake dealing with it all on the inside, bottling it up till he burst. she placed her hands over his, both of them being reassured by spider's breathing.

"but he is still here, we can and will help him. we will make sure he never feels this way again. I will right my wrongs, I will treat him as he has always deserved, and I hope one day he can forgive me. you will do the same. for now we just have to wait." she spoke gently, still worried about waking spider. she was partly talking to herself, making the promise she had worked her mind to final, she swore it on eywa. she saw jakes eyes finally close, knocking the tears he had been fighting to keep in down his cheeks.

he nodded, slumping into a lazy, defeated-looking, criss-cross position, talking spider's little hand in his, using the wet cloth from mo'at to clean the blood from his finger, the calloused palms of his hands, his muscle-toughened arms.

jake was no stranger to this, to harming yourself, even if he had never taken a blade to his wrists. trying to imagine that pain in such a little body terrified him. how was he supposed to wrap his head around little spider, the stray cat amongst the village, always smiling and laughing, always trying to help everyone, always up in trees or tussling with his kids, his blonde hair like streaks of the sun running about the village, battling such demons. he tried to imagine what he must have been feeling when he took his knife to his wrist. was he scared? relieved? confused? was he desperate and looking for a way out?

no, no norm said that spider wanted to get rid of his "demon blood" which as somehow more nauseating. it was their faults, him, norm, neytiri, The People. they hurt this child or they let it happen. they expected him to take every glare, every spit of acid, everything he was forced to endure, and to still remain a happy child. jake never once stopped to think what effect that may have on him, and now he was paying for it.

he ached, spider was small, he could fit in jakes hands even at 6 years old. he was drowning in neytiri's shawl even if on her, it would barely cover her upper arms, he had just started fitting his exopack a little less than a year ago. he was still just a baby, and they almost let his life end. had norm not found him, he would be dead, still and cold in his makeshift marui, in a pool of his own blood. the image that accompanied the thought that flashed in his made him feel sick. even with all that he denied feeling about the boy, no matter how hard he tried to push him away, no matter what he let him go through, the thought of spider dying, especially like that, alone and scared and in pain, terrified him. to have a child die for any preventable reason, was a disgrace on The People, especially their chief of all people.

chief.

he should have been the example. he should have led his people to find love for a defenseless child who wanted only to be loved and accepted. he had failed.

he let a finger caress the side of spiders face, along the edge of spider's mask, lightly pulling at the curly baby hairs that rested there,

"will he be alright?" he didn't know who he was asking, norm or mo'at. both would have very different opinions, norm more literal, mo'at more spiritual. he didn't know which he wanted.

"physically, yes. he is lucky, his blade was simple, his hand faltered, and he didn't seem to have a death wish. he didn't do too much damage, its manageable. emotionally jakesuli? time will tell." mo'at was the one to speak, the look on norms face spoke the his fear of setting neytiri off like he almost had earlier.

neytiri looked to her mother with a pain expression, her tail beating nervously where is laid near spiders head, ears still folded back.

"his mind is plauged with pain and desperation, things no child should even be aware of. he was driven to harm himself, in ways that will be permanent. it will be our actions going forward that determine his future. I fear if we do not undo the damage now, we will lose him in the years to come... what I fear more and that the damage has been done and cannot be undone. we can only hope for the former/"

neytiri damn near let out a cry, turning from her mother, eyes clenched as tears welled up in them. she found jakes arms, both leaning over spider like a makeshift shelter. just like they should have his whole life, they should have shielded him from the world, protected him from the hate of others. spider stirred once more, and this time jake couldn't resist the urge to scoop him up.

spider looked up at both of them, his little eyes tired and glossy, something small and painful in his gaze. he began to wiggle out of jakes hold, balling up nervously, but when neytiri grazed fingers through his hair, he stopped. this was the one thing he had ever wanted, deep down. not to be accepted, not to be one with the people, not even to be na'vi. he just wanted to be held, loved, by a mother, any mother. with his judgment too clouded by all his emotions, the desperation, the pain, even the blood loss, and maybe and even simpler reason being just being a child; spider let her hold him. he couldn't think about her years of neglect, the harsh words, and harsher glares, not in that moment, that could come later. right now, he needed a mother, and neytiri was willing, so he sunk into her hold, welcoming the embrace of either parent.

the road to spider's recovery would be long and hard. jake and neytiri had a lot to make up for, to apologize for, holding onto their guilt for years as they waited for spider to reach an age were their apologies would actually mean something to him. he would have to be watched constantly, habits would be broken, tears would be cried. things would never be 100%, there would always scars and phantom pain, but that was ok.

~~~

a note for my regulars; I'm back, maybe sorta kinda. I've hit a rough patch with my adhd, I can't do thoughts, or social interaction really, but I'm starting to bounce back, so more regular posting may return shortly.

#I have such a hard time writing norm for whatever reason #which is why I found every excuse to not have to write dialogue for him #sorry norm <3 #also #I'm a bitch for the “neytiri having her eyes opened to motherhood/mothering spider in response to him getting hurt/sick” trope #its got me in a literal chokehold #its so good and so angsty #and neytiri's mama bear instinct vs logic fighting to the death #shes having a mild crisis #more like major. but potato patato #spider socorro #miles socorro #miles spider socorro #neytiri #jake sully #norm spellman #mo'at #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water

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amorhedera6 · 5 months

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((this turned out longer and more in depth then i meant for it to go, tw for abusive families, suicidal ideation, mentions of death, grief, and dismembering of a body))

headcannon that steph and max were best friends as kids. his dads an important man, one that solomon wanted on his side. so he pushed steph to spend time with his son. max was a super happy kid, very exciteable, loved musicals. they were on their own a lot, since neither of their parents really gave a shit, so they’d spend a lot of time at starlight theatre, watching all the different shows and things going on. max would tell her about how shitty his dad was and she’d do the same in return.

when they got to the 7th grade, steph got really depressed and pushed max and everyone else away. and max was little, they both didn’t really know what was going on. after that, they weren’t ever really close like that again. she got on the middle school football team and was deemed a prodigy, got popular, started getting all these friends that would do whatever he said. things with his dad got worse, and without steph to help him he started bullying to corral his emotions. steph knew what he was doing, but also knew it wasn’t serious. he pushed a few people around a little, that’s all. she didn’t think she had to be worried about her friend and now that he was super popular, she needed other people to spend her time with.

she also became cool, just because he said hi to her in the hallways, so she found herself in with his group. but she never truly felt she fit in, skirting along the edges. in high school, her friends all joined the cheer squad as she joined the smoke club and stop giving a shit about school. she never made sense in the “popular kid” crowd, but she assumed they kept her around bc she was the mayor’s daughter and pushing her out wouldn’t fly. it was actually max, making sure she got an invite to every party.

steph sort of floats through high school disassociatedly, in the my-home-life-is-terrible-and-isn’t-gonna-get-better-until-college-so-i-don’t-give-a-shit way, so she doesn’t see the escalation of max knowing no one will stop him doing anything, getting a total god complex, and ruling the school with violence, until pete. she’s probably the only person in hatchetfield high that doesn’t know, but it surprised her so much. bc max? the boy who would geek out over tech production of the musicals? the kid who let her be the captain when they were pirates bc he thought it was more fun to be the first mate? who’d stay up late with her when she had a bad day to read the books their moms were had promised to read to them? that boy is this horrible bully, and she didn’t even know it? it just doesn’t make sense.

she says she’ll go to the principal bc that’s the first instinct one has about this shit, but people started doing that in 8th grade, and all that happens is max has to go to an anti bullying thing every few months. she wants to talk him down, figure out what made him go this far, but she already knows it’s his dad. he wants to be the big impressive football star that his dad wants him to be, so maybe he’ll actually give a shit. he wants his dad to notice and tell him to stop, because then it would mean he was paying attention to what he did. daddy issues recognize daddy issues, and steph sees it in max, even if she did have prior knowledge. she goes along with grace’s plan bc she thinks it’ll be a good ego check to bring him down, but then. then.

she goes home and cries herself to sleep, feeling responsible for the death of her first real friend. she gets sick for weeks with flashes of her dismembering his body with the others, and while every one else’s seems to think the school’s getting better, all stephanie can think is “did no one else fucking care about him? even a little?” all his friends, the football guys, even her friends on the cheer squad, seem to not care about max’s disappearance as much as they care about his missing spot on the field. she starts to skip more until she decides to hang out with pete instead. he must be guilty too, be haunted by these images, but then he says “everything is objectively better.”

which she gets. people are free from his torment, they can do what they want, talk to who they want, etc. the hallways are brighter, people are happier, whatever. but max was still a person. steph wonders if the plan had gone right, maybe he would’ve come back down from his god complex and been more like she remembered him. if he would’ve done the spring musical like he’d always wanted to do but never felt like he could. if he would’ve hated her for it forever. she’d rather he hate her forever than her have helped kill him.

when they have to start talking about what happened, she tries to call him jägerman, tries to disconnect her friend from what happened, because he truly was drastically different, but it was hard. after richie and ruth, shut goes crazy and max is back, but he’s not really max. she feels like the worst friend in the world when she think “he looks like his dad”

because mr jägerman has always been a being full of rage and anger, not one to hide in his own home. she’d seen him scream and yell at max for being a regular little kid, not special at all. not the perfect son he wanted. max, this weird spector of max, is all rage, no heart. even when max was at his worst, he had some heart. he kept her in the “cool group” even though she made no sense there, let grace go unbullied bc he had a crush on her. this wasn’t max. this was a personification of his dying moments, the only thing the waylon place did was preserve, and maybe further his anger.

she wants to beg pete to kill her the way he begs her to kill him. she started all this, even if she denied it at beanies, it’s true, and she is probably the only one who could have helped max stay a regular guy instead of the egomaniac ruler of the school he became. but she can’t get the words off her tongue. so long she’s been thinking about how easier everyone’s lives would be if she just killed herself, and now she can’t even do this. he gets on his knees in the football field, she raises the gun from twenty yards away, and thinks about how many people this thing that isn’t really max has killed.

she forces herself to pull the trigger.

max stops the bullet.

grace fucks the ghost, and all is well. except she’s met gods who seem like they want to eat her, and now her father’s dead too. he was an asshole, he never really cared about her, but she sobs for hours n the big empty house on pinebrook, and wishes desperately that she had made pete do it.

she and pete check on each other, because he also lost two people important to him, and they hold each other up. get each other through it. help each other mourn. she meets his older brother, he helps her clean out her father’s office. they go to funerals together and hold hands, and don’t talk about it.

it takes her a little while to realize his homecoming offer is still up, since things are technically different now. she buys a dress and tells him only the color, and he wears a matching bow tie. it’s such a ridiculously peter thing to do, and it makes her laugh for the first time in a while. they laugh together a lot that night, and she helps him breathe through a panic attack in the bathroom when ruth’s favorite song comes on.

she tells him about the images she can’t get out of her head, maxs body in pieces, the blood everywhere, that she burned the clothes she wore that day bc she couldn’t get the smell of blood and bleach out no matter how often she washed it. he tells her that he’s having flashbacks like that too, and that he wishes he could talk to his therapist about it without being sent to jail or a mental hospital.

she talks to detective shapiro and gets her to send a letter to peters therapist that he’s not gonna be arrested so pete can talk his shit out. at least the non-ghost and demon stuff. the dismembering a guy stuff, though, he can talk about.

it gets her thinking about therapy and getting some. she’s 18, she’s got more money than is necessary from her father, and she thinks she’s going crazy. she looks into it and finds one, starts going once a week. he tells steph he things she has adhd, sends her to a psychiatrist who confirms the diagnosis. she gets some drugs to take, and she feels weird about taking them. she’s done drugs, but like the cool ones. she knows not to do drugs you’re unfamiliar with when your alone, and she feels like she’s a lot of that.

homecoming was fun, but she and pete still haven’t out any label in their relationship. they haven’t said i love you, even though everything that went down means the both know it. she wants to be his girlfriend, but she doesn’t want to ask. wants him to ask. she tells her therapist as much, and then complains that she’s paying him bc she’s got daddy issues and trauma, not to hear about her high school drama.

but miraculously, he does ask her to be his gf. and then they’re dating, and it’s great. she spends more time at his apartment with his brother, less time alone in the big empty house just thinking about max and her hand in who he became. he and her therapist together convince her to start taking the meds, and it helps with some of her problems, but not all of them.

she forces herself to keep living, even when she doesn’t want to, because that’s what max (her best friend, the kid who was too scared tontry out for the musical, the asshole, the boy she knew better than herself, the adult she apparently hardly knew, the spector she could only half recognize) would want from her.

#max jagerman deserved a redemption arc #so im giving it to him #post mortem #bc this is cannon compliant im afraid #steph and max were best friends ik it #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #steph lauter #stephanie lauter #max jagerman #peter spankoffski #brief lautski bc i have no control #starkid #hatchetfield #The Rambles

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longitudinalwaveme · 3 months

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A Rant About Flash and Captain Boomerang in Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League

This post will contain spoilers for Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League under the cut.

So, I watched a video of the cutscenes of Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League, and....well...let's just say that it frustrated me enough that I rage-quit watching part of the way through. (Usually, I don't rage-quit stories, because usually I don't hear about the stuff that would make me rage quit until after the story has been out for awhile, and so I don't get caught off-guard by it. This is one of the few times where a story managed to catch me off guard with a plot point I hated enough to make me quit.)

But I'll cover the non-spoilery Flash-related stuff (which did not make me rage quit) first:

-For the most part, the game pretty much nailed Captain Boomerang. He was an utter scumbag, but he was also really funny and more competent than you'd expect---so pretty much exactly what Digger is supposed to be.

-That being said, I think the game might have gone a little TOO far in making him a scumbag? Like, I know that's a part of his character, but after a certain point, he becomes a bit too unlikeable to be a main protagonist. It definitely doesn't help that positioning the Squad against the Justice League means that there isn't the mitigating factor of him fighting people who are even worse than he is.

Basically, if Digger has to fight---and win against--- the Justice League for plot reasons, maybe don't make him as awful as the nastiest versions of his comic book self? It makes him winning fights against heroes, mind-controlled or otherwise, VERY unpalatable.

-Also, he should have used boomerangs more and guns less. I know this is partially for gameplay purposes, but he's Captain Boomerang, not Captain Shotgun. He can use boomerangs to do anything---so why not lean into that?

-Between the super speed gauntlet and the fact that he has to win fights against the Justice League, I almost feel like Owen should have been this game's Captain Boomerang. Owen fighting the mind-controlled Justice League would be a lot more pleasant than maximum-jerkwad Digger fighting them---since, y'know, Owen is actually nice most of the time. He'd be a lot easier to root for.

-In spite of the fact that the game seemed to have a fairly good grasp on Digger, I can't say the same for its grasp on the Flash. I don't know why DC has been having so much trouble with adapting the Flash as of late, but it's getting very frustrating.

-More specifically, the game features the not-so-triumphant return of what I call Warry (the hybridized Flash that mixes elements of Barry and Wally together). He has Barry's name (and eye color), but he's hot-headed, brash, and impulsive, and the rest of the Justice League treats him like a rookie. In other words, his personality and relationship with the League are very reminiscent of Wally. This is a very, very, very longstanding issue of Flash adaptations, but I'm not thrilled to see it happen again.

-Although that's not really the worst part. The worst part is that this version of the Flash is just....really annoying. Like, more annoying than Wally at his worst. He honestly feels like Axel Walker cosplaying as the Flash. (Granted, part of that might be because he spends over half the game being all evil due to Brainiac's mind control, but even before that he seemed very, very young and somewhat obnoxious.)

-It also didn't help that I found the sound of his voice to be annoying. The performance itself was good, there was just something about the voice itself that rubbed me the wrong way. Digger had an abrasive voice, too, but he's supposed to be annoying and abrasive, so having an annoying voice made sense for him. Not so much for the Flash.

And then there was the thing that made me rage-quit the game (SPOILERS AHEAD):

And then the Suicide Squad killed the Flash. Like, for-real killed him. (I mean, I know that the game is called "Kill the Justice League"....but I didn't expect them to ACTUALLY kill the Justice League. I was assuming that it was hyperbole for the sake of a cool game title, especially since having the Justice League get killed would be really depressing. I am not happy to be proven wrong.)

And yes, I know that within the context of the game, killing the Flash is the only way to stop him, but it still feels like a total cop-out given how many superhero stories involve mind-control, and how many of those stories prove that there are a hundred other ways for characters to snap someone out of mind control.

And if for some reason the character HAD to die, it feels really mean-spirited to let maximum dirtbag Captain Boomerang be the one to do it. I love Captain Boomerang, but I have never wanted to see him kill the Flash. Because I like the Flash, and I like it when the good guys, y'know, win.

And that is why I rage quit watching Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League.

#flash comics #flash rogues #suicide squad kill the justice league #captain boomerang #george digger harknesss #the flash #barry allen #but not really #Longitudinalwaveme rants about stuff

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youaintnothinbuta · 9 months

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hello i am back ! thank you sm for your last post, i really enjoyed it!! anyways i have fallen down the jd rabbit hole. could i request a jd x reader where reader is very affectionate but jd is hesitant bc of veronica (he saw her suicide but moved before he knew it was fake and feels super guilty) then reader starts to get a little more distant because of the lack of reciprocation on jd's end. anyways this is gonna go on for too long, could u make it end with reader finding out what happened and reader comforts jd, and he just suddenly melts from the affection. (IM CRYING THIS DOES NOT MAKE SENSE I'M SORRY )

Summary: ^^

Pairing: Jd x reader

Warnings: mention of suicide, pretty much all warnings that come with anything heathers related. also probably typos and grammatical errors cos I’m tired

Word count: 774

Request something here !

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Relief washed over you when you heard the familiar creak of your window opening. Looking up, you found your boyfriend, Jd, gracefully climbing into your room, a mischievous glint in his eyes as always. He got comfy beside you in your bed, snuggling up as he pulled your diary towards him, trying to peek.

“No.” You snapped it closed and popped it on your bedside table, telling him off.

“You’re really never gonna let me read that thing?”

“Maybe one day, when we’re 40 and I randomly find it after having forgotten about it for years.” You replied.

Jd laughed with a little shake of his head.

The evening went by much per normal, him climbing back out your window to head back to his own home, “I’ll see you at school,” he says as you shut your window behind him.

You let your body sit heavily on your bed, sighing. He had never been the most affectionate, you figured that was just the way he was. But lately he’s been even less affectionate. He’ll still let you be touchy with him, cuddling him and kissing on him but everything on his end has pretty much dissipated. Not even an arm around you as you walk together anymore. It felt like this big wedge was being driven through the middle of your relationship, and he -for some reason- wasn’t noticing it.

Another week or so passed, and the distance between you two had grew exponentially. You couldn’t entirely blame him, for you somewhat adopted this mindset of ‘if he wants to be distant, fine, I can be distant too.’

But it had gone on for too long now, and had gotten worse than you ever thought it could. You barely even talked at school, you just sort of sat together in this weird unresolved silence.

You had had enough. One evening you got yourself out of bed and marched yourself over to Jd’s house, not planning on leaving until you figured out what his deal was.

“Jd, I can’t do this anymore.” You wasted no time, immediately speaking as you crawled though his window, startling him.

“Y/N—”

“What are we doing?” You stood in front of him, arms crossed.

“What?”

“What are we doing? You and I. What is happening?”

His confusion was evident, his voice a mix of curiosity and bewilderment, “What are you talking about?”

“Jd, don’t be a dick. You're distant. We barely talk. You haven’t even held my hand in a month. I feel like I've lost you. Have I done something wrong?”

Jd's sigh carried a weight, his figure rising from the bed. “Y/N, I…” he hesitated, the words escaping him reluctantly, “My ex— she hung her herself in front of me. It haunts me. I just feel guilty and I'm terrified that I might drive you to the same point.”

The room fell into a stunned silence, your mind grappling with the enormity of his confession. Your mouth opened to speak, only managing to stutter incoherently. Before he could continue, you closed the gap between you, enfolding him in a heartfelt embrace. Silence enveloped the room, broken only by the sound of your steady breaths. “I had no idea,” you whispered softly, your voice carrying a mixture of sympathy and understanding “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Jd choked out, unsure exactly of what the emotions his brain was trying to process were. You shook your head against him slightly, still holding him in a hug, “I can’t imagine how heavy that must feel.”

Jd winced, beginning to cry into your shoulder, tears starting to flow without reservation. That was the first time anyone has ever acknowledged how much pain he has experienced, ever. Your touch was a silent reassurance to him that he could let his guard down.

Amidst his quiet sobs, you murmured calmingly to him, “Shh, it's alright, Jd. You're not alone anymore. I'm here for you.” Your voice was a steady presence, comfort in a way he’d received from no one except his mom when he was a kid.

As his tears subsided, you held him a little tighter, your fingers tracing soothing circles on his back. “You don't have to be afraid with me,” you whispered, your words carrying the weight of your sincerity. “I'm not your ex, Jd. I just want to see you happy.”

His grip on you tightened, his vulnerability a testament to the trust he was beginning to place in you. He gave you a watery smile. “Thank you,” he managed to whisper, his voice raw, “you wanna just stay here tonight?” He asked. You nodded, getting comfortable in his bed.

A/N: LMFAO I’m so sorry this is SHIT but I had already left it sitting in my inbox so long and I didn’t wanna keep u waiting any longer. I kinda gave up with the end so sorry I hope it’s okay I tried to stick as closely as I could to the request 😭🫶🏼

#jd x reader #jd x y/n #jdronica #jd x you #jd x veronica #reader x jd #jason jd dean #jd #jd heathers #jd fanfic #jason dean heathers #heathers fluff #heathers jd #heathers the musical #heathers #veronica sawyer x jason dean #jason dean #jason dean x reader

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epiclamer · 1 year

Note

Ayyooo

I want to request something 💃🏻💃🏻

Can you pretty please write something about a villain who's super depressed and sick and hadn't gotten out of their bed in their shitty apartment for days, and supervillain (for whatever reason) finds them in this state and takes them to their big, luxurious house and taked care of them? Lots of blankets and tea please 👉🏻👈🏻

Thank you in advance!! (If you're willing to do it though, you're completely free to do whatever you want of course)

This sounds fun…

CW: suicide mentions

Evil Nanny

On occasion, Villain let themselves fall, knowing full well that no one would be there to catch them or pick them back up and sew together all of their broken pieces. They knew that every time it would have to be them. Their own hands, their own care, their own treatments, their own love. Yet regardless of the ache it caused in their heart, they let themselves go.

Every time.

Villains excuse was that they were too tired to fight the urge anymore. That after all of the years of keeping themselves afloat, if the waves started up again they wouldn't tread.

A part of them despised this choice--some inner child bullshit they assumed--but they had reached a point where they couldn't be bothered. A point where days blended into months and months blurred passed in a blink of an eye. Where every small effort took the rest of their energy for the day.

However, at this time, on this day, it was different, because finally something happened that wasn't of the criminal's hand.

There was a knock on the door and at first Villain was sure they were hallucinating. The outside world felt so foreign, so illusory, that they couldn't believe it was real, honestly they hadn't even registered it until it sounded out a second time.

Quietly, like a mouse, the villain crossed their living room until their nose was a centimetre from their front door. With barely contained curiosity, Villain opened before a third tap could be made. Standing there, umbrella in one hand and the other shoved into their fancy suit pocket, was the supervillain.

Villains former mentor and active pain in the ass.

Former being the key word in this situation, as they no longer communicated with each other after a certain... disagreement between the pair that hadn't ended on good terms.

Supervillain didn't wait to be invited in. They snapped their umbrella shut and waltzed right past the other, having the decency to wipe their shoes on the mat before they tracked into Villains kitchen. Moving faster than the villain's exhausted brain could follow, they simply closed their eyes and took a deep breath, they could barely stand themselves at the moment, now they had to withstand their previous mentor without killing the both of them.

Just a few minutes.

"Your cupboards are empty." Supervillain turned in the villain's direction, face completely emotionless per usual. "Do you have a pantry?"

Villain could barely stop themselves from hysterically laughing, they were almost tearing up at the comment. "I live in a no bedroom studio apartment above a DollarMart. Do you seriously think I have the luxury of owning a pantry, let alone enough food to get me through a week."

The supervillain huffed, rolling their eyes at their former mentee's insolence. Never--under their command--would they have allowed such rude behaviour, but they let them off the hook just this once. It looked like they could use a break.

"I haven't seen you around lately, when you didn't answer my calls I figured I would drop by to make sure you're not dead."

"You wouldn't let me die if I tried."

"You were never the successful type..."

If there was one thing worse than eternal suffering it would be dealing with the supervillain, or maybe those two things went hand in hand.

The master criminal didn't berate the villain any longer, they looked uptight and unamused all at the same time. Like they couldn't be bothered but walked on their tiptoes. Villain had always hated how unreadable they were when they seemed to be able to tell the villain's deepest secrets with a split-second look.

"Have you been sleeping enough?"

"More than enough." The two voiced in unison, Supervillain's tone was considerably lighter than Villains and when they smiled it was like they were back to being teacher and student; with the supervillain constantly finishing their sentences like they didn't even need to ask the question.

Just a few minutes.

Villain blinked and the other was gone, strutting through the tiny apartment as they collected a few belongings which appeared important to the villain. Pretty much anything that wasn't coated in a layer of dust after not being touched for the last months.

The criminal was just about to object when they were interrupted. "I'm taking you home." Their mouth fell open in shock at the audacity.

"Excuse me?"

Supervillain grinned, "you're excused. Kudos for apologizing first, don't worry I do forgive you."

Villain spluttered in disbelief, their former mentor had barged into their home, insulted their house and mental health struggles before excusing them for an issue they had never started. They couldn't tell if they wanted to sob or laugh more.

"You're kidding."

They smiled apathetically before shoving the few possessions into the villain's arms and turning them towards the door. Supervillain patted their back in a "move ahead" gesture as they flung open the door, a black limo waiting patiently with the engine running.

Clearly, the look on Villains face spoke more words than anything coming out of their mouth in a jumbled mess as it prompted a short chuckle from the supervillain. Their piercing gaze returning to normal when the villain's face dropped in disapproval, anyone on the outside would figure both of them were having a horrible time. But Villain found the situation more so on the side of hilarious rather than angering.

"If you won't take care of yourself, then unfortunately, for the both of us, I will have to do it for you." They shrugged, picking at their cuticles, a nervous habit. "Or at least until your will to live returns."

The villain snorted a laugh, heading towards the awaiting car on wobbly legs. "Good luck. It's probably still somewhere in your torture chambers, or do you continue to call them training cells?"

Supervillain held a gentle kind hand on the villain's elbow to help keep them steady until they were seated comfortably on leather limo seats. Where they were then wrapped in a warm, fuzzy blanket and their belongings were replaced with a steaming mug of tea.

"I must say, I don't miss your company often, Villain."

"Pff, thanks." They couldn't hold back their grin this time, satisfaction flooding their chest at the thought of the supervillain fuelling a special hatred towards them.

"But," Supervillain added, tapping the tip of their umbrella against the carpeted flooring. "I can never get enough of your insufferable attitude."

Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all, Villain hoped, staring down at the loose leaves in their tea with a smile.

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ladyloveandjustice · 3 months

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Fall 2023 Anime Overview: 100 Girlfriends and Spy x Family S3

The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Love You

Premise: Rentaro is approached by the god of love, who confesses that he accidentally gave him 100 soulmates. And unfortunately, if someone meets their soulmate and fails to be with them, they DIE. Thus Rentaro decides he will date all the girls who end up being his soulmate, and be the best possible boyfriend ever to all of them.

So yeah. I watched this. I'm not someone who really watches male-centric harem anime, but I'd heard this one was really funny and yeah, the first episode was indeed really funny. The way it exaggerated the tropes of the genre to parody them genuinely made me laugh. The first two girlfriend's gimmicks were that one (Akane) was secretly super thirsty and the other (Karane) was tsundere and it played those to the hilt for maximum laughs. Tsundere says she decided to take a piss in the school flower garden to avoid saying she was looking for the perfect flower for Rentaro and Rentaro's astonished "you realize that makes you sound WAY worse than telling the truth does" was great. Thirsty girl trying to pull the ~ooh you need to drink some of my drink~ to score an indirect kiss only to find Rentaro ridiculously prepared was also a fantastic gag.

All the girls are REALLY down bad for Rentaro and the premise of this would not work at all if the series didn't sell Rentaro as legitimately a great boyfriend who could reasonably attract 100 girl and be just as down bad for all of them. But Rentaro is no classic harem potato boy, he's superhumanly thoughtful and the ultimate wife guy. It makes him very static as a character compared to the flexibility the others have, but it's generally amusing. On top of that, the series handled neurodivergence in a surprisingly thoughtful way in episode 3 with Rentaro going all out to help his ladylove's way of expressing herself without talking be more accessible, rather than trying to "fix" her. I also really like how the girls in the polycule are genuinely friends and don't compete with each other over Rentaro--and some even seem like they're pretty into each other too (though this is entirely played for laughs rather than actually explored, of course).

Yet at the same time...yeah, the premise began wearing thin for me as tropes I'm less willing to roll with popped up.

Karane's complex over being flat-chested wore thin quickly (even if Rentaro thinks she's perfect) since it's mainly used in gags to embarrass her. One girlfriend's thing is that she drugs a lot of people without their consent (fantasy type drugs that can do ridic things, but. they are drugs. some that melt clothes or make you lustful included), and the anime genuinely tries to make you think it's so sad that people didn't want to be friends with her because of this, and Rentaro magnanimously tells her she's okay the way she is...forgiving her for his girlfriends that she drugged. Yeah, she's annoying. (also her body turns into a child's sometimes because of course it does).

And then there's the Mom girlfriend. I mean of course there's gonna be a Mom girlfriend eventually, Milf-lovers can't be denied, but it happened quicker than expected! it being paired with her being initially abusive (to the point she drove her daughter to attempt suicide) and then fixed by Rentaro's love and motivational speech...along with the justifications for her being ridiculously young (likely to parody that trope, but still)...yeah, it was all a lot.

I don't know if I'll return for the (already announced) season 2 tbh. I appreciate that the show's intentionally trashy and silly, and it is still funny a lot of the time, but it's not really my kind of trash. But I don't regret the wild, often fun ride it was--maybe if I'm really bored that season or hear enough wild things I'll retry, but right now it seems likely me and the 100 girlfriends are never, ever, ever getting back together.

Spy x Family Season 3

See previous reviews for the premise and so on.

Spy x Family is pretty much staying the course from when we last checked in, though this season gives a lot more attention to Yor, and I love the cruise ship arc and all the ridiculous fights she gets into a lot! That arc contains some of my favorite gags of the series too (like Loid's attempts to be a cool dad). Otherwise, Spyfam has settled into being a largely episodic series that seems like it wants to be around for the long haul, so don't expect too much forward plot momentum. And Yuri (the man, not the genre) unfortunately still exists, and unfortunately we have to put up with an episode of him being a fascist supercop. Overall it was good season, though and remains a fun adaptation. Yor, please step on me.

#100 gfs #spy x family #100 kanojo #the 100 girl friends who really really really really really love you #fall 2023 reviews #yor forger #anime overview #my reviews #fall 2023 anime

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p0rchc0ll4ps3 · 23 days

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JEAN THOUGHTS (LONG) (3K WORDS LONG) (PUTTING HALF OF IT UNDER A CUT) this is an extremely unstructured jeanessay really. a lot of thoughts i just piled in that have been in my brain that i wanted to get down.

THIS IS ALL LIKE. me coming up with shit btw. like. i try to keep things game canon and i shift stuff when i find out about it. but i am not immune to coming up with backstories and issues and personalities for these characters HELP

cw for mentions of drug and alcohol abuse, toxic partnerships, suicide attempts and suicidal ideation. also obviously this talks about fictional cops so

He and harry had worked on a few cases before harry’s encountered him

Jean’s old partner was a junior officer who graduated and went to work in searchlight (not jean’s receipt cop shit. Jean was happy to be on his horse and patrol the streets and hand out fines), and harry snatched jean up right after that. jean's good with teens i think. he sometimes looks after minot's kids (who are 14 and 16 respectively in my hcs)

Harry’s a guy who’s always drunk to avoid his problems. He used to go out drinking a lot with his friends when he was a teen (the 15th indotribe). Slowly all of them have died off, gone to prison, gotten shot, killed by the gang, suicide, drug overdose. Harry’s the only one left

He and his old cop partner used to get drunk and bitch at each other a lot. The old partner couldn’t handle harry’s depression. They were a negative feedback loop, feeding off each other’s negativity, seriously dragging each other down

Harry blew off the old cop when dora left bc harry was sick of the old cop’s bitterness and hopelessness and despair (but at the same time, said old cop had no patience for harry’s bitterness and hopelessness and despair)

So now harry’s been scanning for a new partner, just subconsciously because he thinks he’s fine to go it alone but I think something happens, like he almost gets killed or whatever and Pryce is like you’re a REALLY good cop. Get a partner or I’ll assign one to you. Can’t lose you

And then there’s jean. Who’s just lost his junior officer to searchlight. Who’s depressed but okay for now (he has a really “supportive” girlfriend (or so he thinks))

Harry grabs him. For the first year shit’s great. They mutually benefit each other. Jean pulls harry up, harry teaches jean how to be a really good cop (coz jean goes from patrol officer or sergeant to lieutenant; he’s SUPER unprepared for it and it’s extremely overwhelming, but jean’s smart and he manages (but it’s still drowning him)). They start to scheme something, a major crimes unit task force. “We’ll change the world, jean. We’ll shift the tides, we’ll raise revachol out of the ashes”

Both of them strongly believe in this

Then jean’s girlfriend leaves him. His girlfriend of six years. And it all starts to go downhill. Harry is like oh yeah I know how to deal with this. I can teach you how to cope.

(cont. below cut coz this is long af and SUPER unstructured)

Harry’s coping methods are awful. He’s like. Pour yourself into your work and ignore your issues. when you can’t work, get drunk. And jean, being ten years younger and lower in rank, is like oh yeah harry knows what he’s doing why else would he be such a good cop. Fully trusts his opinion. And as a result jean becomes a drunk and starts to spiral down with harry.

Harry pulls him down. But it’s jean’s idea to try drugs. And it just gets worse and worse and worse from there. Another negative feedback loop. But this one’s like. They’re there for each other. There to help the other up. there when the comedown comes and knocks the wind out of them. there for all the messy messy shit that comes from drug and alcohol abuse. there to save the other from suicide. They're tight as fuck. They tear each other apart. They’d die for each other. And jean, ever the impressionable type, gets SUPER attached to harry, super emotionally dependent on him. And vice versa tbh!!!! Codependent as fuck, super toxic partnership (bc they’re so drunk and high all the time it starts to get abusive from both ends), overworking themselves to death, in such a hell of their own making

In the depths of it, when it’s at the very bottom of the barrel, when it’s really awful, they’re the type of guys who’ll give up together and say fuck it, mutual suicide. if we go out, we go out together, yeah?

After jean almost dies of overdose I think, the fear of god gets put into him and he realizes he’s drowning and how bad this is. Realizes this has all gone to hell. Realizes he wants to live and realizes shit needs to get better. remembers their old pact, to save revachol, to make the world better. This isn’t it. Doing this will do nothing for them but kill them, and after almost dying himself, jean realizes he doesn’t want to die. They have to try harder. They can’t keep doing this. He knows how harry is when he’s not tearing himself apart. There have been times where everything quiets and calms down and it’s like the first year again and hope comes back and revachol comes back and the future comes back. Times where jean realizes what it COULD be. That’s the thing. He’s SO aware of what it COULD be. That every time he gives up hope, and the hope comes back, jean is like shit man. You know. Things CAN be ok. Please. Let’s fix this. i don’t like seeing us like this. I don’t like all that brilliant genius you have gone to waste. Let’s get better. jamrock needs us. Revachol needs us.

But harry refuses and refuses and refuses and refuses. He does NOT want to get better. He NEVER wants to get better, he wants to drown and he wants jean to be there with him and when jean refuses to drown with him, refuses the mutual suicide pact, harry leaves him. Fine jean, I don’t need your help, I don’t need ANYONE’s help

And when harry comes back and it’s someone else that’s pulled him out of the water of despair, jean’s SO FUCKING PISSED because he’s been trying SO GODDAMNED HARD and it just shows that he’s not good enough, that he wasn’t the right one, that only someone else could’ve helped harry, that no matter how hard he tried, jean would never have been enough. he's more fixated on this than on the fact that finally harry's getting better, and one has to kinda' realize oh. jean just wanted to feel needed. jean just wanted to be someone's personal savior. jean's been doing this for harry, yes, but he's also been doing it for himself.

I dont know how that gets resolved yet. After hitting rock bottom and realizing the only way he has to go is up, jean tries to get better and get help for himself and for harry. He is, as I like to call him, a consummate professional. He tries to shrug off the addictions and the alcohol and tries to pour himself into his work, and as a result the precinct is kinda’ scared of him because he’s so damn tough and pushy about it. Like the coping goes from getting high and drunk to pushing other people around and micromanaging everything. Like he was a good cop before, even when he was just on receipts. Now he’s an even better cop because of harry and despite everything

Kim’s gonna’ show up and rock the balance of it all entirely.

A. Harry’s better because of Kim, who’s only known him for a week. After all jean’s done for harry, after being there for him, it takes some guy who doesn’t even fucking KNOW him to make harry hopeful again

B. Kim’s method of leadership is different from jean’s. Jean micromanages Everything and trusts no one to his job for him. The only person who’s good for the job is himself. The only person he can trust is himself. No one can let him down if it’s just him, and he’s promised himself not to let himself down. Meanwhile, Kim puts his trust in people to do their assigned jobs, and when they break his trust, he throws his authority into it and pulls them back in line. Kim may not be as good a detective as jean (or harry for that matter) because he doesn’t keep his mind open to options Off the beaten path (such as how when in the game harry was like. This door in the whirling is important. And Kim’s like. It’s just a door harry, it doesn’t matter. And then completely blocked off that option as a possibility), but he’s a damned good leader. What he lacks in detecting, he makes up for by relying on other people he’s working with and working as a team. We all have our faults but we also all bring everything to the table. So Kim gets in there and he’s like, trying to work with everyone and totally getting in jean’s way because jean is being authoritarian as fuck whereas Kim is calmly taking it authoritative style.

C. Jean is very concerned about his professional image. C-Wing has become a joke to everyone in the precinct. Jean also knows that he and Harry themselves have become a joke in the precinct. Jean has made up for it by putting on this very strong, controlling front, putting the fear of god into everyone and getting them to respect him as a cop. But now here’s this kitsuragi guy and he operates DIFFERENTLY and jean is having a VERY hard time trying not to crack in front of him. Trying to keep up his professional front. Except that Kim has caught onto this and Kim likes competition, and he’s got it in his head he has to find a way to get jean to respect him and a way for jean to respect harry again because Kim absolutely HATES how jean treats harry now: no respect, completely hopeless that harry will get better and resentful of Kim for being the one there for harry when it should’ve been jean. Jean treats Kim with some begrudging respect and admiration because he’s trying to keep this professional front up. He respects Kim as a cop, and some part of him is thankful that SOMETHING got harry out of his deep dark hole. But jean hates to admit that it wasn’t him that could help harry. Hates to admit to himself that he just wasn’t right for him. hates to admit that he wanted to see harry better out of some selfish reasoning, and hates to admit that some other part of him liked seeing harry broken because it proved to jean that everything is indeed hopeless.

Jean is scared to be hopeful again.

But there’s harry. And he’s smiling. And he’s trucking through it. And he’s trying to come clean. And he’s trying to be there. For revachol. For Kim. He has a reason to live again.

And in some stubborn part of jean’s heart, it’s making him hopeful again, too. But he’s been burned SO many times he’s scared to let that back in. Scared that as soon as he’ll start hoping again, harry will plummet back into the dark, and he’ll finally lose him forever.

So in the meanwhile he hates on Kim. Tries to be professional and keep it together and all that but goddamn. Fuck this guy. Fuck him. He doesn’t know that harry won’t get better. He doesn’t know SHIT. He wasn’t there for him. There’s no way he’ll help.

And Kim has picked up on that! But he’s also picked up on the very small hint of hope that jean’s got in there. And the very small hint of gratitude jean’s got in there. And Kim, being Kim, liking competition, being petty, not liking how jean is being such an ass outwardly when he doesnt have to be, not liking how jean refuses to trust ANYONE, decides that he has to pry that hope and gratitude out of jean. He knows jean’s a good cop. He knows he’s a team player. He knows if he gets jean out here, and if jean and harry are truly friends again, C-wing will finally be worth its mettle again. And if harry really wants to “change the world” as he’s been talking about, Kim knows jean is crucial to that. So.

Kim hassles jean. A lot. Constantly testing him. Constantly pushing him. Teasing him. Questioning his authority. Trying to pull it out of him, to get on the same level, to get him to trust everyone, and respect them all again.

And that above EVERYTHING is the thing that’ll make jean crack. Because he’s trying soooo hard to keep up his face and then here’s Kim prying him open again.

Like he learned it from someone.

i think it's basically a big trust issue haha. kim trusts jean because he knows jean is an officer of the rcm and a good one at that, but he doesn't like jean's lack of respect towards him. jean trusts kim for the same reasons (bc kim's an officer of the rcm and a good one at that), but he doesn't Want to bc he's jealous. harry trusts kim with his life (if kim says jump, harry Will jump), and harry also trusts jean with his life, though he doesn't know it. however, jean doesn't trust harry anymore. he wants to because he used to be able to but now harry's gone down the drain so much he can't and he hates seeing how much kim does trust harry and how much kim trusts him (jean himself). harry doesn't understand why jean doesn't trust him. we were partners right? for four years? haven't we been there for each other? and jean just doesn't want to come to terms with any of that

meanwhile in all of this there's judit. and she came from a-wing where she made the mistake of babying all the men there and got treated like shit for it, so now she's on a strict I Am Not Taking Care of Any of These Men and Their Issues regime. she is also a Consummate Professional, and lower rank than all of them (tho when harry gets partnered with kim, and jean gets promoted to lieutenant, she'll become the satellite officer lieutenant). jean Tries to ask her for opinions bc oh woman, woman may not be good at police work but woman is smart with emotional issues (a very incorrect opinion judit Always makes sure to call jean out on his bullshit for) and judit always just says 'just do your job, officer' but internally she thinks to herself maybe if they all you know just fucked and made up it would be better (coz there's Sexual Tension there for sure) but she keeps this opinion to herself and VERY buried. she does NOT like office drama. she would prefer it if nobody fucking dealt with that and everyone could do their jobs thank you very much. shit's hard let's get on with it, just trust the guy bc he's a fellow officer of the rcm and let's move on, okay? at this rate, she's convinced they're gonna' get themselves shot and killed for all this bullshit.

honestly it's just jean who's the issue here hahaha. kim's chill, he's okay with everyone, the 41st is loads better than the 57th (less racist, by a margin, for one). harry's struggling, but he's got support and he feels hopeful he can make it. jean on the other hand is the only guy sitting there and victim-blaming and rotting away and coming up with bullshit and being a complete jackass about everything. he's BURYING it, that's for sure. but internally it's tearing him apart. and it definitely bleeds over in how he treats kim and harry. come on, jean. get your shit together. do your fucking job. nobody wants to hurt you. i know mommy and daddy yelled at you a lot when you were a kid, but none of these people want you dead. not even kim. he's just messing with you to get you to lighten up and get on the same page as everyone. come on man. stop your moping. they love you, too, i promise

so yeah that's my extremely long unstructured jeanthoughts essay that'll probably become more solidified the more i write him and jean himself tells me what's up but yeah. i like the guy. he's so. fucked.

good for him 🥰

#c4rg0f1l3s #yeah.#disco elysium #disco elysium spoilers #jean vicquemare #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #not saying anything but i do have shipping agendas HAH #aro shipping agendas. no romance. just dependency. i like it when guys want to depend on each other #did you know i really really like it when a guy is so misguided and mentally ill #also jean bpd moments girly is going thru it #i put my fingers on all of them and added my funny little interpersonal drama that might be ooc #i am not immune to writing characters who feel and think too much about everything oops #just personality disorder things #shoves them in my mouth #also judit. i like that one #SIGH #marfă din elysium

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satancopilotsmytardis · 3 months

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8 + Daddy kink, perhaps? 👀

Pairing: Shigadabi

Rating: E

Contents: Daddy kink, masturbation, anal fingering, anal sex, BDSM, multiple orgasms, praise kink, humiliation kink, aftercare, very brief mention of child abuse, light feminization, suicidal thoughts/tendencies (but in the 'I have been minorly inconvenienced and I am now writing my will, oh woe is me, you shall miss when I'm gone' kind of way)

It's such a goddamn cliche that he has a fucking daddy kink. Oh ho, the kid whose dad treated him like he was the whole world and then shifted to beating him, ignoring him, and then finally abandoning him to a gruesome death likes to call people 'daddy' while getting fucked? Big surprise. What's worse is that he didn't used to have a daddy kink. The first time he'd been getting fucked and his partner had growled, "You like having Daddy's cock in you, don't you, bitch?", Dabi had immediately recoiled, and the guy had been lucky to just walk away with second degree burns, unfinished, and alive. It had made his skin crawl and he'd felt vile. Had switched to just topping for a long while after that. Then it happened again. Was fucking a woman hard and they were both thoroughly enjoying it, and she'd been very, very vocal. He was sure they were gonna get someone pounding on her apartment door. But she'd screamed, "Harder, Daddy, harder!", and Dabi had immediately gone soft. Went from them both having a good time to neither of them finishing and having to part awkwardly because they both were very clear on why it had happened. The point is that he didn't used to have a daddy kink, it used to repulse him.

It was some extra cruel twist of fate that it reared its ugly head when he'd developed a slightly insane and possibly suicidal crush on his weird boss. Apparently he and Spinner have two things in common, wanting to uphold Stain's ideology, and thinking that Tomura, bleeding, broken, shirtless, and his hair bleached white by his quirk, standing in the rubble of a ruined city-- was hot as fuck. The major difference is that Spinner is repressed as fuck and just thinks that he's super dedicated to Shigaraki's cause now, and not that he wants to fuck nasty with their Grand Commander. Dabi, on the other hand, knows exactly what he's about and he wants to be about Shigaraki on his dick or his dick inside of him. It's unfortunate, then, that the switch over to the PLF also came with a shit ton more work as they restructured things and Duster having to go away for a while to get treated because of the aforementioned broken and bleeding. Which means that Dabi is left, unable to see if he gets dusted for propositioning his boss, and frustratingly horny because he also didn't want to fuck one of the grunts and have Duster hear about that. He can't imagine Shig would take him seriously if he heard that he was racking up a non-arson related body count and then asked him to go to bed with him too.

They've got plastic now though, private rooms, and everyone already knows not to bother him once he's left the main floor for work shit unless the police or heroes are about to break down the door, so he figures that he's good to get himself a dildo and a stroker and take care of himself. And that helps take the edge off, definitely. Manages to tide him over until Shig comes back from his first round of treatments, and Dabi doesn't waste any time.

He waits until they're alone one night, finishing going over some of the reports that Duster's missed while he's been getting healed. When Shig stands to grab something from his desk, Dabi stands too, follows him and steps in close, and murmurs, "If I asked you to go to bed with me, would I get killed? Or would you just demote me?"

Sees a flicker of surprise go through those pretty red eyes that they've gotten to see a lot more since Shig stopped wearing the nasty hands all over his face. And then they go so dark that Dabi's breath hitches in the back of his throat. "If you asked me," and Dabi feels the tables turn as Shigaraki moves closer to him. They're nearly the same height, Dabi is just a bit taller, but he doesn't feel it as Shigaraki's eyes drag over him. "I would take you to bed, and all you would have to worry about is telling me if I give you more than you can handle."

They don't make it to bed. Dabi has never been happier to be a career slut because there is a sachet of lube in his coat pocket and Duster fucks him so good and hard against his desk that he accidentally leaves handprints burned into the surface. He cums three times and can't even move afterwards. Expects to be left there boneless until he can pull himself back together and find his scattered clothes, but instead Shig presses soft kisses along his cooling skin, waits for him to be coordinated enough to sit up, and then makes him stay put. He leaves for a few minutes and comes back with a cloth to clean him up with and a glass of water. Dabi tries to insist that he's fine, doesn't normally get anything like this, and it's kind of making something warm and shaky spread in his gut in a way he doesn't really get. But Tomura kisses him again, and he shuts up.

And maybe Dabi had been thinking that fucking Shig once would be a way to scratch that itch and get it out of his system. He was absolutely not expecting that Shigaraki would want this to be more than a one-time thing. That they would go from fucking whenever they got a chance to... dating in plan view of the PLF and League. And Tomura always takes care of him. Not just after sex, he does that too of course, cuddles and kisses, cleaning him up and making sure that he's all put back together with careful consideration that makes him a stupid puddle of good endorphins. But he also takes care of him when they're not in bed. He makes sure he gives himself time to eat when he would normally ignore it in favor of overloading his schedule with work and training. He does his best to make sure that Dabi is taking care of his health. He always checks in on him when he's being moody, and he holds him at night without being afraid of getting burned when he has a nightmare. He tells Dabi that he loves him in a month which should be too soon. It should make him recoil and reconsider what they're doing. Instead it makes him so needy that he practically throws himself at the other man, so desperate to show the things he can't say with his body.

Tomura fucks him slowly, but unrelentingly, trying to squeeze out every drop of pleasure from his body until he breaks. Dabi does break, it's just not in the way that he's expecting to.

Is writhing in their sheets, his lover's cock hitting all of the good places inside of him in a constant, unceasing rhythm as he toys with his cock, holding him, but not stroking, just squeezing a bit, just occasionally rubbing his thumb along his ladder. It's torture and Dabi needs to cum. He's on the verge of sobbing as he begs, "Please D--" cuts himself off with a sharp cry as humiliation surges through him and sends him over the edge, coating his stomach and Tomura's hand in cum. Tomura keeps fucking him, makes him cum again, fills him up, and then holds him close and keeps letting him know with every soft touch against his skin how loved he is.

And Dabi has to cope with the fact that he is laying in his lover's arms, having a crisis because he'd almost called him 'daddy' as he'd been fucking into him so perfectly.

He hopes that that's just an isolated incident, that some wire got crossed in his brain and it will go away, but it doesn't. It keeps flitting through his mind, when they're in bed together, when Dabi is needy and alone because Tomura still has other treatments to do. And it gets so bad that he decides that he has to fucking exorcise this from him like a fucking demon. Waits until Tomura is gone for a few days and takes out a few of their favorite toys and is determined to get this out of his system.

He works himself up slowly, hands going over his seams, playing with his nipples, scraping his nails hard enough to leave red lines on his unburned skin. Gets himself so hot imagining that it's his lover's hands on him, his mouth, his cock sinking inside when he fills himself up with the dildo. And he feels it bubble up behind his lips again. This time he lets it slip out, "Ah, Daddy," and instead of having it bring everything to a screeching halt, it makes him hotter. He fucks himself harder, moaning and whining, begging for Tomura to give him more, but he's not even there, and he's not saying 'Tomura', he's saying 'daddy', over and over and over again. He cums harder than he thinks he ever has without a partner. And it's at that point he has to completely resign himself to the fact that he does, in fact, have a daddy kink.

He is absolutely planning on just wasting away after that. He'll write his lover a goodbye note and leave behind a mangled, burned, but beautiful (to Tomura's bad taste) corpse for him. He does not want to examine why he's suddenly developed this kink. Why being treated with care, and cherished, and given respect and affection in equal measures, why feeling safe and secure in his lover's arms, had made him want to call him that. He's not doing it, so premature immolation it is. Which is why, when Tomura comes home the next day, Dabi is laying in their bed, somewhat despondent, having his last meal which is Toga's strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Duster takes one look at him and comes over to the bed, climbing in and pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck.

"What's wrong, firefly?"

"I'm killing myself later. You weren't supposed to come home until after I was done. I still expect you to cry over my body."

Duster hums, pressing another kiss to his skin and then stealing a bite of the ice cream as well. "If it's your last day, then I want to pamper you before you go. If you let me, then I promise to weep over your body for hours and when I tear down the whole world, the first thing I'll do is start to rebuild things in your image, make sure the world knows you're my Hephaestion. Does that sound fair, baby?"

"Okay," and he lets his lover press another kiss to his cheek and they finish the ice cream together. Then Duster kisses the lingering sweetness out of his mouth and makes him get up. Runs them a bath and fills it with the green tea melts that have been helping soothe some of the soreness of his seams. They stay in the tub until Dabi would have to use his quirk to keep the water the right temperature.

Dabi is considering life again when they get out and Duster wraps him up in a fluffy towel, doting on him the whole time. Kisses and soft touches against his skin, murmured words of affection in his ear, until he's pretty sure he's going to turn into a puddle. Not going to even have the focus to set himself on fire if Tomura keeps this up.

When his lover gets him back into their bed, Dabi threads his hands into his hair, trying to pull him closer, trying to get him between his legs. Tomura leans over him, one hand braced against his chest, keeping just far enough back to not let Dabi close the space between them. "Are you in a hurry, firefly? Or will you stick around long enough for me to give you a little death before you go?"

"Tomura," he whines, glad that's the word falling from his lips. His lover doesn't laugh at him, but his lips are definitely curved into a smile against his when he finally closes the space between them. Dabi drags his nails down his back in retaliation, but it's not a good one. Tomura never gets mean unless he begs for that. He's too intent on spoiling him rotten. Never had a pleasure dom before, but he can't say that it hasn't been a wonderful change of pace.

Has his lover's hands, his mouth, moving over his body then, knows every place to touch to turn Dabi into a needy, trembling mess against their sheets. There are moans slipping past his lips as Tomura kisses along his seams and teases his fingers along his cock, strokes his balls, and then finally grabs their lube and starts to rub his fingers against him. He mewls as they start to push in. He's so relaxed from the bath, from how sweet his lover has been, that it doesn't take long before he's got three working inside of him, every pass making his cock drip more steadily against his stomach. And it's good, of course it's good, it's never been anything less than good with Tomura, but he wants more.

"D-- Duster," he manages to correct, playing it off as getting lost in the feeling of his fingers crooking so good against his prostate. But he knows what he wants to say, feels it sitting in his throat and making more heat leech out across his veins.

"What is it, baby? Time for you to go? Guess this will have to be enough--" Definitely a teasing lilt to his voice as he presses a kiss to the seam curving over his side. "Too bad, I would have loved to give you my cock one more time."

"Stay," he surrenders.

"Are you sure, firefly? You were so bound and determined before."

"Stay, please--" cuts it off. "I want it," Rocks back on his fingers, more than ready, "I can take it, please?"

"Is that so?" And he crooks his fingers up hard enough that Dabi sees stars. Sends such a sharp jolt of pleasure through him that he slips.

"Ah, please Daddy!" And then spills smoke because Duster is going very, very still against him. Because that teasing twist of his lips is gone, as is the warmth in his eyes. Fear and shame sour Dabi's gut sharply, and the minute that he stops feeling like the floor dropped out from under him, he's going to squirm out from beneath his lover and set himself on fire as soon as he leaves the bed.

But Tomura composes himself faster, fucks his fingers into him one more time roughly as his other hand wraps around the back of his neck and draws him into a hard kiss. Dabi keens. His lover licks into his mouth like he wants to eat him alive, like the right flick of his tongue will draw that word out of his throat again as he pulls his fingers from his needy body to replace them with his cock.

"Ask nicely, firefly."

Has definitely melted his brain already because he doesn't hesitate this time, "Please give me your cock, Daddy," sounds like he's going to die without it. He might.

Doesn't have to find out though because Tomura sinks inside of him as soon as the words are off his lips. Kisses him hard again as both of his hands resettle on his hips. Only gives him those few seconds to adjust before he's drawing his hips back and snapping them forward. Fucks into him hard and all Dabi can do, all he wants to do, is hold on and let him. They fuck hard, teeth bruising lips, hips bruising thighs, nails cutting open bloody lines along skin. And the entire time, whenever Dabi can catch a breath, he's letting go, spilling his shame between them,

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" And Tomura doesn't even flinch, devours that up just as readily as he has anything else that Dabi's offered him. But he's talking too, voice a growl in his ear.

"That's it, fuck, you feel so good, sound so cute--" Makes Dabi's whole body even hotter from the praise, his cock aching and drooling constantly. Going to cum without needing a touch there if Tomura keeps talking like that, fucking him like this. "Wish you'd told me sooner, would have been happy to give you anything you want. Daddy's baby." His voice saturated with heat. "My princess."

Dabi arches off the sheets, muscles clenching tight, and his quirk makes his whole body feverish as he cums so hard he feels his release splatter against his chin as he moans, "Daddy!" One final time. Tomura follows him over, making him even fuller as they both come slowly through their orgasms and aftershocks.

Not a surprise that Duster pulls himself together first. "'Daddy'? Is that why you were so upset? Baby, you can call me whatever you want." Lips against his cheek, which would be really sweet if he hadn't very clearly heard,

"'Princess'?"

Shig hums in the back of his throat, not one to cowed. "Didn't know if you would like that. Figured it could wait until we had a check-in. Already so cute, would love to have my baby girl crying for his Daddy's cock." Dabi's cock twitches, clearly a traitor and very, very on board for that idea. "But I suppose that won't happen if you're still planning on leaving me behind for that eternal sleep."

"Fucking me again right now," Dabi demands as forcefully as he can when he's a complete puddle in their bed. "But if anyone ever finds out about this, I'm taking us both out."

Duster leans down and nuzzles their noses together, that smug little smile back on his face. "Can't imagine a better way to go, sweetheart. But you're going to have to drop that attitude. Only good girls get Daddy's cock, and you don't want to be empty, now do you, princess?"

He shivers as his arousal surges through him again, "Please Daddy, I'll be good."

Can't be as upset about the daddy kink as before, not when he and Shig damn near break the bed that night. Also not gonna have to worry about taking them both out in a shower of fire and ash because when Toga finds her missing ice cream, they're not gonna last long anyway.

Thanks for submitting! The typing box is fueled by comments/replies, consider leaving one if you had fun!

#ask #asks #shigadabi #my writing #mha fanfiction #fanfiction #nsft txt #prompt response #prompt fill #Dabi gets to be a melodramatic little bitch in this one #as a treat

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

Note

AITA for not responding to a message about an ex-classmate's family member dying?

CW: The word suicide is mentioned, but no actual suicide occurs, is attempted, or at risk. I would not say it if it were not important, rest assured.

I feel horribly guilty for this, and if I am the asshole there's not really any way I can fix it, because it's been over ten years. I have no way to contact this person anymore, and I was only about ten when it happened. There is a lot of context about how she treated me required to get how this could happen in the first place.

There was this girl in my class who sometimes would join in with my bullies on being cruel to me, but sometimes was nice, it depended on how badly other people were pressuring her, and if she knew I'd find out she participated or not. I did not consider her my friend as she was only occasionally kind to me, but I went to her house once. She had invited me, and I'd only been invited to someone's house once before this, plus I had been told it was going to be a party with many people. I thought I could fade into the background, but no one else showed up (I heard rumors it was because they learned I was going, but I don't know if that's true or not.) It was a very nerve-wracking experience, and she later confessed to me that she knowingly served me food that had come in contact with something that could make me super sick without telling or warning me. (It did give me a stomach ache, but I was lucky and it wasn't too bad. It could've been a lot worse, and previous reactions had been.) I said I forgave her for that. She then confessed to playing a twisted game with the others on a day where I was out sick. In this game, they hid in the school bathroom with a flickering light. They pretended that bathroom was haunted by my ghost, and that I wasn't just out sick, I was dead- they even went so far as to pretend that they had bullied me into killing myself and that I was making the lights flicker because my ghost was going to hurt them, and take revenge on them. It was the most horrifying thing I think I've ever learned was said behind my back, especially when I never talked about self harm, suicide, or anything of that nature- they had made that all up for the sake of a game.

At that point, I never talked to her willingly again because I was just really tired of having her come into my space, insist we were friends, and then do something mean when I wasn't around. I'd get visibly tense when she was nearby, I would only nod or shake my head when she talked to me, just little things to remain civil and no shows of trust or affection.

Then, a couple of months after I'd left that school, she texts me for the second time ever, and first time in like a year, saying her older brother died. I was really stressed out that day, I don't remember by what, though. I just remember not knowing what to say, and deleting the entire app she contacted me on in a panic since I didn't hadn't used it for months anyways.

I feel like I led her on into thinking we were close by going to her house that once, and I know now I should've just bit down the stress and comforted her... but as soon as I made that choice in my panic, I couldn't fix it- there wasn't any way to undo it and I especially can't fix it now, so many years later. I guess posting this is more a confessional than anything. I sincerely hope all her friends were kind to her and comforted her and that my choice didn't affect her too badly.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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luveline · 1 month

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small vent (please don’t read if it will stress you out or if you’re young — cw of past self harm and unhappiness but I am in no active danger and there’s nothing to worry about, but also just mentioning that in case someone were to open this and then get surprised by the content)

I feel so lonely lately and I don’t know what to do because i feel like I am making an effort to connect with people, maybe I’m not, but I feel as though I am and it’s just really frustrating to have that disconnect of what I feel like I’m doing and the actual result of it, I feel like no one really wants to talk to me, does that make sense? Like I can’t actually have a conversation with anyone, and I’m not blaming anyone for this, because I’m not a good conversationalist, this isn’t me trying to make bad people out of anybody at all but just I’m so frustrated and so lonely and it’s not getting any better. and of course as tends to happen I feel like, really down( and like time is slipping through my fingers, and I feel like I can’t do anything I want to do because I end up worrying or upset about something instead, I can’t stop thinking about stuff I’ve said or things I need to do or things other people have said and what I thought they’re thinking of me. I used to basically feel like this all the time a few years ago but it was going away, until recently when I feel very alone and like it’s worse than it was. I also feel super pathetic once again for putting this here instead of a diary but it’s hard sometimes to not want to know what you guys think, like —is this normal? I worry I’m too concerned with myself

I’ve also been thinking a lot for the last few weeks about hurting myself, because I used to in the past. I won’t do it of course and like if I were to do it it’s not as though I would want to mention that here because I know it’s catching and it hurts people because hurting yourself shouldn’t be presented as an option and it isn’t an option, so I won’t do it, but I do want to hurt myself because I just don’t feel well!! I actually did contact my doctor a few days ago to talk about how I am and my health but they haven’t gotten back to me yet. I know that it’s not how you should cope with bad feelings, but it’s also the only thing that’s ever worked for me

I think all in all I feel really alone, and I feel like I’m always embarrassing myself, like, I feel like the people around me are embarrassed of me. I don’t know why I feel so bad and if it’s normal or not. Like, should I more urgently go and see my doctor, or does everyone struggle feeling such low self esteem? I know life is hard for everybody, and for many much harder than I’ll ever experience, and so I’m caught feeling very ashamed of myself and alone, and like I’m doing things wrong but unaware of it. It’s a relief at least to not be suicidal because in the past I would get so anxious about things I would get tunnel vision and I’d need it to stop, whereas now I just feel quite depressed (sorry if that’s the wrong word) about it. I wish I could identify what it is that’s throwing me off kilter so badly. I hope it’s okay to talk about this here because I don’t think anyone will understand in my life how I’m feeling, I try to talk about it with my mam sometimes but she’s not the most empathetic person, or like she’s too empathetic maybe, and if I tell her I’m feeling depressed she’ll say me too and then guide the conversation about her life without really giving me a chance to speak to her about what’s really on my mind, or she might tell me (again) to go on ozempic (which I do not medically need). And I love my sisters but I can’t tell them either, so it’s just like desperately wanting to confide in someone, but everyone else is too busy

I think my life is just a black hole forever, you know, I don’t mean to be upset about it because things are better than they were, but it’s hard knowing that I’m not experiencing what other people are, and that I’m not connecting with people, and that I’m hard to like

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suffarustuffaru · 3 months

Note

What do you think would’ve happened if Heinkel had been the one to fall into a coma instead of Louanna? I just think the potential of that is very juicy because like that completely changes the Astrea family dynamics!

oh i ADORE this idea so much!!! arghhh i love astrea family dynamics so much and i really really like each member - though of course i hope we learn more about louanna soon!!! im so curious about her and everyone in the family BUT her is at least decently fleshed out already!! but yes okay this idea is great and also Everyone in these reddit threads have brainstormed all kinds of ideas for Other Astrea Members Falling Comatose (heinkel, reinhard, theresia, or wilhelm) far far better than i could so if anyone seeing this hasnt seen those i highly recommend reading!! super fun ideas going on <3

but yeah my quick two cents on heinkel specifically going comatose is that, like people have mentioned in those threads that stuff would happen differently. marcos doesnt rejoin the royal guard, reinhard probably doesnt get the dp of mind changing, wilhelm might die to the whale instead since heinkel isnt around to get sent on a suicide mission and wilhelm Would Not Back Down from that, etc etc. or did theresia get sent to kill the whale right away while wilhelm like in canon went to deal with the royal family?? that sort of thing.

i think ultimately we dont 100% know what would happen on the louanna side of things just because. we dont know anything about how she was as a person hah so hard to predict!! but i think things would probablyy turn out a little better given everything i just mentioned. and also the bar for how canon went is super low anyway aljsdfl. but yeah i mean louanna seems like she might cope a little better (i mean. shes Probablyy not the type to fall into alcoholism right haha). or she might Also Cope Badly, depending on how you wanna interpret this. and depending on how louanna turns out to be as a person. and Someone is still gonna die to the whale probably. so things are Not That Great and also heinkel being comatose means he wont be head of the house. louanna in this situation either way would need to take charge - both in the sense that uh, in the end it'll just be her and one of reinhard's grandparents left around, and also in the sense that she is reinhards only parent left now. and also reinhard Might get a bit more pressure to hurry into the royal guard sooner. he'll get compared to his comatose MIA dad im sure :(( esp since heinkel is. frozen in time.

theres Always something chilling about how in canon, long term sleeping beauty syndrome victims are just. Stuck. in time. forever frozen. never aging a single day from the moment they were gone. thats Haunting. thats like living with a ghost thats still there. and in this au itd be heinkel!! heinkel whos still at his prime and hasnt truly had a permanent failure yet (losing his mom to the whale, losing louanna to a coma, etc etc), and of course like canon heinkel, louannas left to pick up the pieces which is always really sad to me :(( she and heinkel were young too when all of this started to go wrong T^T like Still Adults, of course, but still young!! like shes 21 and hes 22 T^TT wild stuff.

also i do agree with people who said that louanna might just wack reinhard over the head for kidnapping felt like that. 1000%.

anyway!!! astrea family drama still goes Wrong i think somehow, in another font, if heinkel or anyone else is the one that gets put into a coma :(( it might be better or worse depending on what happens!! and depending on who gets comatose and who Dies!! but yes i think everything goes a bit wrong either way :(( they can never win T^T but itd shift dynamics around every time which is the fun part!!

#rezero #re:zero #would be fucking funny though if the astreas all joined different camps again. theyre collecting camps like pokemons and the camps are #collecting astreas #louanna can join. ana ig. idk. but i do love the fan idea that in timelines where the astreas are on better terms they just!! decide to joi #different camps so their chances of getting dragon blood to help heal Whoevers Comatose In The Family is higher!!#thats such a sweet subversion ;-;;;#reinhard van astrea #louanna astrea #heinkel astrea #ask

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ccrisntok · 10 months

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Heathers au part 2 💀

Okay, off the bat, this one is worse. this post is much sadder than the first one.

TW// Blood, Death, Corpses, Suicidal thoughts/actions, Guns, Homophobia, Violence, Eating Disorders (Again, basically anything that happens in Heathers: The Musical.)

Also, spoilers for Heathers, and DRDT!!!

As I said, this post is a bit more serious than the first one. You need to read the first part to really understand this one btw. sorry. I'm too lazy to explain things again hdafkjlds

This post will have the sad parts of the au, since it's basically a story run-down, but imma still try and keep it a little silly at least.

But there will be a part 3, since I literally can't post all of the images (I have over 30.) And part three will be a lot more light-hearted (just fun doodles, and some cut images from this post), so if this ones too intense, just wait for that one <3 or. dont. thats cool too. Btw I'm gonna re-use a few drawings from the last post for story progression <3

Again, credit to @another-danganronpa-fan for the original au concept!

(First off, a better rendition of the Heathers + Xander. I didn't make any other full body refs because I got lazy. Anyway, I wanted to talk about these guys a lil more in this post. Character relationships and whatever.)

I feel like the Heathers as a unit all fucking hate each other. David guilt trips Arei into staying and threatens to reveal that shes queer if she argues with him, Arei makes fun of him for having severe mental health issues, and Arturo belittles both Arei and David, constantly commenting on their appearances, which he considers "Barely acceptable", basically its a cesspool of toxicity.

Xander, your average, emotional totally not British boy, doesn't really see any of this and thinks the Heathers have it so easy, and even idolizes them a little, especially David. Or rather, whatever persona David gives off to others.

This leads to him being recruited, in combo with his forgery skills, and his British accent. Cuz, yk, British accents are hot to some people.

So Xandy gets to be an honorary Heather. This is fine for like, 5 minutes before he is immediately asked to humiliate the shit out of Eden, which he does, begrudgingly. He does this by forging a note to Eden from her crush, Arei, inviting her to a party Ace was hosting that night. Arei doesn't know about this plan until it happens.

at some point between this and the party, Xander sees Teruko beat the ever-loving shit out of Levi and Ace, and he's like "oh wow 😳", which is the first time he ever notices her.

As the party starts, Xander starts getting drunk as hell, and during so, makes some kind of jab at Ace in relation to his ED (I couldn't really find a way to incorporate Heather Duke's bulimia into David, so, sorry Ace.) This leads to Ace fucking hating him with a passion.

this does not end well btw

Xander parties rlly hard, and that ends up escalating to him accidentally publically outing Eden at the party (while wasted & high), which leads to Eden being humiliated by the partygoers. Arei, who does actually like Eden as well, obviously doesn't out herself and helps in Eden's humiliation for the sake of self-preservation.

Eden's like "wha" bc she still thinks the note was real, and is super confused and hurt by Arei's reaction.

I don't believe the two would be childhood friends, like cannon Heathers, I feel like they would just. Like each other. Steal glances occasionally, wave, and smile. Stuff like that from someone like Arei would mean something, at least to Eden. And seeing what she thought was so clear shatter would hurt her a lot.

After this, Xander fucks off because him and the Heathers get in a huge fight, and he finds Teruko like. In the bathroom or something hiding from the party. I didn't really want to make him break into her house so. I didn't :) they uh. hold hands or something, and then they fall in love wooooahhhh whoda guessed

So Xander vents about his imminent death bc Art's mad at him, and Terukos like, "yeah... lets go apologize....." (she does not want to apologize). so they pull up and Xander's like "I'm sowwy Art i wont do it again" or something and then uh.

(why is the family guy death pose so hard to draw) Art drinks some Kool-aid or something that Teruko mixed with drain cleaner and dies.

Xanders like, "NOOOO WAHT THE FUCK" and Teruko, who obviously wanted him to die, is like "oh. we need to cover this up as a suicide". They do just that, and in the wake of his death, Arturo is seen as even more of an icon than he was in life, since the fake note portrayed him as an actually kind, tortured soul.

Arturo's ghost haunts Xander from this point on, basically just calling him stupid the whole time.

so after this, David and Arei are like, "Aye uh. Art's dead. You wanna hang out in the woods with us and Levi and Ace?" And Xander, desperately trying to not seem suspicious, says yes. Arei didn't really want to do this, but David forced her, and brought tons of alcohol with the intention of getting Levi and Ace drunk so they would fight and it'd be funny. He hasn't taken up Art's spot yet, so he's still kinda chill.

they. do fight, and Xander's kinda like "oop", but David's hoping it gets violent, for funnies.

it gets kinda personal..

Then it gets REALLY personal 💀

And Levi ends up beating the shit out of Ace.

Now, not unlike canon, I don't know what circumstances got Levi disowned by his parents. I feel like in this au, he probably moved in with Ace and his folks, which would give him another reason to put up with Ace's shit. Out of literal necessity. And like, they are probably friends to an extent.

Anyway, after this, rumors spread that Xander was actually the one who beat the fuck out of Ace, unprovoked. Since Ace is like 3'2 or some shit, people think Xander just beat him up bc he was an easy target without Levi around or something.

This happens because of a combo of Ace not really remembering what happened, his spite towards Xander, Levi lying about it, and David agreeing with the story (again, for his own amusement.) Arei doesn't really care enough to speak out, and Xander's reputation goes from already dead, to decomposed.

He vents to Teruko about this, cuz that went soo well last time, who makes up a plan. She tells him to tell Ace and Levi that he really wanted to fight them, and she would bring a "fake" gun to scare them with. (btw shirtless levi just to warn you) (and a dead body. and blood.) (prob shoulda put those first)

This goes about how you would expect (can you tell I gave a bit more of a shit about these guy's deaths than I did Art's....sorry homie). Instead of doing what Kurt cannonically does (hauling ass in the opposite direction), Levi actually tries to help Ace, with no luck.

I made a longer version of this but Im trynna stay in the image limit so. Anyway, Teruko is like "look what you diiidd Levi he trusted what you said and now he's dead! Ok bye" and then shoots Levi too.

Xander is losing his fucking mind, and really upset, obviously. But Teruko is like "I did it because I love you...." and manipulates him into really believing they did somewhat the right thing, because Ace and Levi were bullies, and ruining ppls lives.

They frame Levi and Ace's deaths as a double suicide. Teruko convinces Xander to portray Levi and Ace as gay lovers who, "killed themselves to escape an unaccepting world", since they contributed to Eden's harassment over her sexuality.

This leads to Ms. Hu publicly speaking up in support of queerness, which leads to the harassment following Eden, and the fear holding Arei back to subside a little, as the student body is moved by Levi and Ace's super real emotional romance.

Ace and Levi's ghosts join Arturo in haunting Xandy, and Xander regrets like. Every choice he's ever made.

Xander and Teruko's relationship is kinda deteriorating, and David decides to take officially take the mantle in the aftermath of Arturo, Levi, and Ace's deaths.

He gets kinda goofy, and starts harassing Arei more severely. This takes a head at an assembly Ms. Hu throws for teenage mental health, where she encourages the kids to vent their frustrations and grievances, which would "set them free."

Arei finally takes the opportunity, and confesses about her turbulent home life, David and Arturo's harassment, and that she struggles with suicidal thoughts. David takes this as a personal attack on his reputation since she mentioned him, and berates her, until she decides to try and end her own life in the school bathroom.

Xander stops her, and tells David to fuck off.

This ends with Arei and Xander becoming better friends, and they start to bond over their shared care for Eden. This reminds Xander how bad he fucked up with his best friend, and reminds Arei that she really does care a lot about Eden, even if she wishes she didn't.

Speaking of Eden, after everything that had happened, the deaths, the harassment, and what she thinks is the loss of the two most important people in her life (Xander and Arei), she also decides to take her own life, Ace and Levi's suicides nailing it into her head that she didn't belong. She wanted to escape to a world that wouldn't judge her, like Martha, and death was the only way she felt she could do that.

She jumps off of a bridge, but ends up surviving.

Xander, obviously fucking horrified, rushes to her side. After seeing how hurt she was, he kinda realizes how serious death is.

He killed people, all because Teruko felt they needed to. He realizes his relationship is toxic (only took a kill count of 3), and decides he can't do it anymore.

He ends things with Teruko, and goes home. He figures this is the end of it, but the ghosts haunting him tell him that Teruko was coming back, and she was mad. Oh no!

After Teruko breaks into his house, Xander locks himself in his closet and listens to her mad ramblings.

She says she's going to bomb the school, killing everyone inside, and she wants to do it with him. The whole school was basically in the building for a pep-rally, and she wanted to frame it as a school-wide suicide pact, with a signed "suicide note", a fake petition she'd passed around the school during the mental health assembly.

Xander, out of options, ties himself to the ceiling and pretends as if he has hung himself, which he hopes will stop Teruko's rampage.

Instead, Teruko decides even if Xander was dead, she was going to kill everyone anyway.

After Teruko leaves, Xander chases after her, grabbing a kitchen knife as protection, with the intention of killing Teruko, and probably himself, for the sake of the school.

After realizing Xander is alive, Teruko doesn't stop her plan. She's even more dedicated to it, and Xander is dedicated to stopping her.

The two physically fight for the bomb, and in the scuffle, Xander ends up stabbing Teruko in the stomach. He takes the bomb, and begins to leave with it, with the intention of using his body as a shield so that the school wouldn't be damaged if he ran out of time.

Teruko stops him, and in one more act of weird, toxic, love takes the bomb from him, and says she will blow up herself, and only herself.

Xander lets her take the bomb, and Teruko walks out to the front of the school. Xander watches as she lets it go off, killing her instantly, and tells her to say hello to God, having faith that maybe her death could grant her forgiveness, if there was a higher power out there to forgive her at all.

........

annnnndddddd I'll draw the aftermath in part three!

Holy fucking shit, I HAVE BEEN TYPING THIS UP FOR LIKE 5 HOURSS AAHH

I'm proud of it, though! There are quite a few images I had to cut, since Tumblr has an image limit and I made way too much, but that's what part three is for, in combo with a little of the aftermath! I just didn't want to split up the story into two parts, since I wanted it to flow well. I hope I managed to do just that.

Hope you enjoyed this fucking roller coaster, and I hope to see you back again for the DRDT Heathers finale! Which... wont be that epic, or anything, but hopefully fun!

#drdt fanart #drdt #drdt spoilers #ace markey #eden tobisa #xander matthews #teruko tawaki #arturo giles #arei nageishi #david cheim #levi fontana #hu jing #tw blood #tw death #tw violence #tw murder #tw ed #idk what xander and teruko's ship name is dkfasf #heathers the musical

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