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#and theyre like ya thats a fine start
snekdood · 2 months
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idk who needs to hear this but growing native plants is not hard at all, at all
#you could be starting seeds RIGHT NOW assuming your last frost date is some time in april or somethin#put the seeds in the fridge in moist sand or a moist paper towel#if its too late buy them from the fuckin store somewhere. or wait till next fall and toss em on the ground after mild tilling#throw some metal mesh of some sort over it to protect it from the rodents and BOOM. there ya go. the seeds are cheap asf too#its hard to kill a native plant. they naturally grow in that environment for a reason.#you can go a day or two without watering sometimes in summer and still be fine (depending on the plant ofc & if theyre potted)#idk its just. like. so easy. everyone could do it. everyone SHOULD do it.#in an apartment? get a window flower pot and plant some in there.#no excuses to not try and do the bare minimum. every piece of turf grass you see should fill you with violent rage to the point where#your body feels physically compelled to grow native plants in retaliation.#some you can even grow inside. i have some vine cuttings im growing inside rn that i started some time last year at the end of summer#from a wild plant outside. just look up how to grow it. watch the jankiest video you can find first.#i trust the guy with the scuffed set up thats shakily holding his phone scooping home-made dirt into a red solo cup over the#pristinely filmed shots of a garden and a man all dressed up nice#i mean idk hes prolly got some good advice too i just trust the other guy more ykno#give a fuck#literally tho this vine is so tall rn its touching my ceiling sdvvfsdhgdfs idk wtf imma do with it.#but i love it and its one of my favorite native plants and i LITERALLY grew it in a fuckin red solo cup.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#how am i feeling? i am not feeling good#ok i feel better than i did 5min ago. itll b fine but Jesus#so basically what happened is its supposrd to snow tomorrow night so i have to get some sampling done tomorrow morning#and i do not like big short notice changes. there's like a 30% i will flip out#and the sampling i have to do is at 3 sites that i would love to never step into ever again. i have so much bitterness and hate toward that#study. it was the start of the end. and by the end i mean the epic downward spiral that was my 2022 experience#so ngl i wish they would catch on fire. but not really bc theyre long term study sites that have been going since like the 80s#anyway. i have to do that tomorrow. also also in sampling these sites im adding 80 samples to my list#which means ill be taking measurements for an extra 5 days 🤪 thats gonna be at least 39 days of measurements 🤪🤪🤪#and last time i did this i starting losing my god damn mind. and i cant do that now bc i have to pretend ive got everything together#so yeah im just at the stage of anticipating pain for the start of all that and ive gotta get up early tomorrow and its already late#and i spend like an hour crying into an excel spreadsheet so my eyes r tired#so ya kno its good. its all good. good good good. great. im soooo happy#and i do not at all feel the urge to throw myself to the ground screaming like a toddler#im just standing here in this grave ive dug myself over the past year and now its time for the universe to start burying me#hhhh... i should sleep. so my brain works at least a little tomorrow 🙃#itll b fine. ill get to talk to a lab mate i dont usually see and itll be fine#unrelated
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nomaishuttle · 10 months
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i am just a small dog girlie and they are my best friends. i love them sm
#I LOVE LARGE DOGS AN EQUAL AMOUNT TO BE QUITE HONEST.. but i feel thats not super unpopular so i talk abt small dogs more#bc i need them 2 know I am with them when other ppl call them ugly or yappy or annoying#or aggressive i hate it when ppl label small dogs as aggressive when its like. Thats bc ppl dont train their dogs#and the dogs are very territorial andanxious and untrained#bc its 'funny'when a small dog is stressed out. eff etc my lecrure i do everytime i start thinkin bout dogs#but yss.. i fr just love dogs#ABD CATS I LOVE CATS TOO!!! i dont believe in the dichotomy i think theyre both good animals. and good for different ppl#abd its finr to have preferences but i hatee the whole like EWWWW CAT OWNER CAT MEAN SND EVIL!! and EWEW DOG OWNER DOG LOUD SND SNNOYING#like ok. whatever dude. what if we just loved our animals. and took care of them. yk. what if the world was made of pudding#and we all were like I personally wouldnt want to have a cat but i think its nice that you have one and that that makes you happy :] yk...#isnt there enough HATE and VIOLENCE in this world!!!#sry guys im waiting for my headphones to charge for my beddybye time so im just talkin. yk how it is#but yas. i love small dogs i love large dogs i get certain critiques for each.. and im glad that ppl are able to say I wouldnt be able to#live with or properly take care of this type of dog. i think thats a good thing#i just wish ppl wouldnt like. blame the dog. for being a dog#yk . idk.. they r our friends guys..#ik irs like. Overly sensitive but seeing ppl call dogs stupid or ugly makes me so sad sometimes#bc like they fr cannot help it whatsoever. we literally bred them to look these ways#i think its fine to be like This dog is sort of silly looking bc i do that. some dogs just are very silly looking#but idk.. no need 2 be hateful. they r all gods creatures Grins..#but anywaysbyas sry j rambled. i talk more abt small dogs even tho i love all dogs mainly bc ot THE HATERS! and also bc well famously my#favourite dog breed is the quintessential small dog. EL WAWA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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me-her-and-la-lune · 2 years
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going to re-read maximum ride (cry for help)
#ive already re-read the twilight books. i just finished the hush hush series. the only book series left in my adolescence hyperfixation#stage is maximum ride. there is something deeply wrong with me where i cant focus on other things except these books#i blame my career situation rn. everything is changing again and im overwhelmed and emotional and its time to cling onto the books that#would help me when i was younger.#also. btw. i know no one cares but i havent read the full hush hush series probably since finale came out#and like. the second book fucking makes me miserable LOL#i used to just skip to the parts that i enjoyed but i wanted to read it all the way through and i hated it so much. it was good but it#sucks** **its good in the way that i cherish it from middle school. its YA fiction. i love them but thats about it#anyway. lots of stuff going on. ill be fine but like. if no one got me i know nora and patch got me u kno#ALSO i used to be able to read books SO MUCH FASTER it took me like seven hours to get through finale. i used to be able to read that book#like. within four and a half/five hours#anyway. i stayed up until like four am last night reading silence and woke up at nine this morning and my brain wouldnt let me sleep#like it demanded i read finale. like ok brain were almost 26 we really dont have to be doing this#anyway! may or may not start reading maximum ride tomorrow. at least that series goes on for like eight or nine books or something#i have not read this series since the final book came out. lets see what it does to my mental state LOL!#okay anyway. sry. im just going through it and i dont wanna bother my friends with it bc like. theyre going through worse things than i am#oh tags we're really in it now#i just have felt weird for months and its coming to a head now and manifesting itself in me reading my middle school books. its weird#like. can i finish killing eve pls? can i finish the multiple shows and games i have on my plate? can i read NEW BOOKS?#the answer??? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! im stuck to re-read YA bc its familar and comforting and somehow the stories still make my heart squeeze#I'M CRING oh sorry for yelling im cringeposting sry
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as much as i love having a library card again and love going to the library.... it sucks so bad that the closest library to me is very small and does not partner with other libraries
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lilyacorn · 9 months
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Yandere popular student! X gn! Tutor reader
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Hes from this post and i hope u enjoy it!
Yandere popular student- who is always lively and sweet around others! He claims that they’re just really nice then people end up thinking he’s innocent at first glance! Their basement now says otherwise-
Yandere popular student- who was a normal student until he met you! And… your other friends.
Yandere popular student- who was ecstatic to have another “friend” pawn in his group!
Yandere popular student- who realizes that he needed to abort the “friend” pawn plan once he saw you. “…w-why… is my heart beating so fast?”
Yandere popular student- who suddenly gets hot and stutters when you smile exist at him like that! “H-huh?!”
Yandere popular student- who keeps implying to his friends that he just wants to be “friends with you!” Just an excuse to not hang out. And maybe stalk- “oh! No i just wanna be friends with them! Seriously guys, they’re just a friend future lover.”
Yandere popular student- who really wants to become friends! Lovers He says that “he’s busy” to convince friends that he can’t hang out with them. (He’s busy stalking- i mean, busy trying to be friends!
Yandere popular student- who’d dress nicer! Maybe some pants or a nicer jacket just to see if you’d compliment! “Look at me please…?” also gets a heart attack even when you look at him)
Yandere popular student- who realized that he needed to step up his game for you to become his “friend” totally because you’re not his crush or anything!
Yandere popular student- who heard that you tutor students! A better way to get closer if you tutored him! Even if his grades were completely fine…
Yandere popular student- who got up at 4 am in the morning to get ready for the session! Date “…do they like vanilla or flowers perfume…” also spent 30 minutes deciding over the perfume-
Yandere popular student- who arrived at the library and quickly sat down beside you to start! Weird how they kept fidgeting and stuttering around you tho…“uhmmm s-should we get started?”
Yandere popular student- who made sure to use all the friend dating tactics in the book! He moved his shoulder close to yours to “see the book closer” liar
Yandere popular student- who was enjoying himself with you until he saw the yandere delinquent standing at the library entrance. “Oh! So thats how you do it- who’s that?”
Yandere popular student- who’s trying his best to steal your attention! “Hey, uhm what does this mean?” Points at a mf letter
Yandere popular student- who looks at the yandere delinquent with malice. He said a simple joke and you laughed! “Hahaha” their laugh sounds so nice! Just ughhhhhhh
Yandere student- who’s face sours up when the yandere delinquent copies “his tactic” and says the corniest joke ever! And you chuckled at it?! “…” HOW?! THAT JOKE IS SO- UGH!
Yandere student- who notices the end of the session, and stands up to walk you home but yandere delinquent says it the same time. back off bitch. Theyre mine.
“May i walk you home-“ “can i walk you home-“
So reader, who will you choose?
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mylarena · 6 months
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thinkin abt soap being able to touch ghost, unlike literally anyone else on base. like, even gaz and price get minimal leeway on it. the medics act like hes a feral cat when treating him. theres rumors that he once broke a guys wrist for patting his arm.
but then soap shows up, and hes like, Ah Nah Man, Itll Be Fine!
and punches him in the shoulder and says 'save ya a seat, sir!' and sees the momentary flash of shock from his absolute fucking audacity before he turns and ignores the absolutely killer glare he gets as he walks away
then ghost pats his arm before he leaves the camera room, leaving soap too shocked to do anything but give him a weak thumbs up as he walks away
then soap pats his shoulder before climbing onto the helo out of las almas
and thats just the start.
people around base see soap bump shoulders with ghost while walking down a hallway and everyone can only look on in horror as ghost-- does nothing. huffs and rolls his eyes, but does nothing.
and anyone who witnessed it are simply not believed when they tell people about it.
but they know.
then it happens again, and more people see it, and then its flying around the base in whispers and gossip.
"soap gave lieutenant ghost a shove and he didnt even react!"
"he sat next to him during the brief, and he was pressed right up to him!"
"they were sitting across from each other in the mess, and, you wont even believe this, but they were playing footsies! soap was stealing things right off of his plate! and ghost just let him!"
and ghost starts being more open to other peoples touch, too. nothing even fractionally as close to what he lets soap get away with, but price gets to ruffle his hair in the 141 common room in the rare occasion that ghost is without his mask. gaz can throw an arm around his shoulder without being growled at like a fuckin dog.
the next time a rookie accidentally bumps into him, theyre terrified for a moment that theyre either going to be booted off the base for disrespecting their CO or gutted like a fish, but ghost just nods stiffly to their frantic apology and steps to the side to walk right past them.
and, even wilder than everything else, ghost is seen initiating contact with soap. patting him on the back (making soap beam like the sun), ruffling his hair (causing soap to borderline giggle), grabbing him by the chin to tilt his head to get a better look at a wound over his eyebrow (making soap look up at him with a gentle expression, settle a hand over his wrist, and softly reassure him that he's okay.)
and it says a lot that eventually when someone says that they walked into the gym late one night and caught ghost and soap pressed chest-to-chest with soaps arms hooked up and around ghosts neck and ghosts hands on soaps hips, people dont immediately dismiss it as something entirely unbelievable.
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elliessession · 5 days
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𐙚 - This fic is based on a song called "die for you" by the weeknd !! -> cursing ! slight mention of sa ! fighting ! mentions of alcohol !
ೀ - an -> this is my first time writing againn, i quitted writing for like a year agoo, anyways this fic is fluff !! Enjoyy!
☠︎︎༒︎✞︎🕸𖤐
Ellie had been always overprotective when it comes to you. Shes also protective to her friends or to anyone she loves but not when it comes to you its just different.
"Where are you going?" The auburn haired girl asked "hm, just going out with my friends why?" you asked while finishing your make up "your going alone?" she said sarcastically "err.. i mean its your day off and you've been working your ass off, i dont wanna bother you" you said finishing your mascara "y'know im not letting you go out without me, right?" She slurs "i know els.. but i just want you to rest okay?" you say calmly your tone so convincing she said "fine, but dont forget to text me okay?" She says "mhm" you hum receiving a text from your friend saying theyre on their way to your apartment, you started getting ready finding the right heels that matches your dark red dress. You go to ellie asking her "hey babe, watcha think?" You say smiling at her "you look great, oh my god i cant let you go out alone wearing that" she says softly laughing "i mean.. you can go with me if you want to, i just really want you to rest for now" you say looking at her "its fine baby, i trust you but send me the bar you're going at and I'll pick you up around 11pm" you gave her a genuine smile before kissing her "alright ill write the bar down on a piece of paper" you say going to your desk to write the bar down, you feel your phone vibrate in your purse, you received a text from your friend saying theyre already outside your apartment waiting for you in the car, "els, here.. heres the bars name, i gtg my friends are there! Love ya!" You say kissing her gently before going to meet your friends.
After 20minutes you and your friends arrived at the bar, you being greeted by the loud music, people chatting here and there the white and red light illuminating. You liked this feeling, the feeling of being out with your friends, drinking with them and just having fun at all.
Your friend scarlet suddenly grabbing your arm "hey! Lets go inside shall we?" You nod while smiling at your friend, you and your 3 other friends go inside the bar and oh it was loud as hell but you just shrug that feeling off and went to the counter with your friends "hey ladies, what drink are y'all ordering?" The bartender asked, your friend layla whos one of your trusted and closest friend said "uhh, we'll have 2 daiquiri and 2 gimlet!" she said. After a few minutes of waiting the drinks were served your friend layla saying thankyou to the bartender and handling y'alls drink, you take a sip from your drink daiquiri and boy did it taste good.
And minutes later you guys were drunk real drunk to the point all of you are just talking gibberish, you thought everything was going great but boy you were wrong, you guys were approached by 2 tall guys and one of the guys started introducing his self to you and your friend suddenly splurts out "dude, fuck off she has a girlfriend, shes into girls" your friend layla laughing as she says it a guy also tried to flirt with layla but shes just too drunk to talk, plus you also did the same you told the guy to fuck off and just flirt with your other 2 friends, well you and layla are the only gay ones there the other two? Scarlet and Leah well theyre straight but very supportive.
And after you knew it Leah and Scarlet were gone they went with the 2 tall guys and layla? Oh she passed out..thats how drunk she got, you laughed and took your phone out to take a picture of layla to send it to ellie, you looked at the time and it shows "10:36pm" 'ellie is probably gonna be here any minute now' you think to yourself, you just sat at the counter waiting for ellie to reply but she never did, 'she probably fell asleep' you say to yourself and at this point you've kinda sobered out.
A few moments later a guy went up to you flirting and asking you some questions which made you very uncomfortable. You already made it very clear that you're a lesbian and you have a girlfriend "dude, can you leave me alone. I have a girlfriend and yes im into girls, now leave me alone." You irritatedly spurts out "alright, angel chill, i can change you.. you just need my dick and you'll be good" this made you very angry and very very uncomfortable. "Dude fuck off will ya? I do not like you and you are making me uncomfortable." You say, the guy the suddenly grabbed you by the arm and led you to a slightly not crowded area, you tried to get off his grip but you cant. You feel helpless at this point hes trying to kiss your neck until.. there she was, the auburn girl punching the guy so he'll let go of you. "Els! w-what are you doing here?" You screamed "I'll talk to you later baby, gotta teach this fucker a lesson" ellie then punched the guy again knocking him down, ellie then went on top of the guy and started choking the guy. You got scared ellie might kill the guy and you were also crying at this point "ellie! Els! No baby stop you're gonna kill him!" You screamed while sobbing, ellie heared your sobs she let go of the guy and started hugging you "hey baby? y'alright?" She says.
You just sobbed on her arms and say "y-yes im fine ellie... but you literally just almost unalived a guy.." you say, ellie then hugs you tighter "oh angel.. i should've unalived him, he literally assaulted you." Ellie said her voice still filled with anger..
"Oh angel.. you dont know the things i would do for you."
"i would die for you.. i would kill for you my baby.."
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fagcrisis · 3 months
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nah, I totally get where you're coming from, but it's not necessarily something wrong with the kids- I'm a software tutor, and it's been getting.... bad, at least in the usa. it's not their fault, but society has become so tech-saturated that lot of schools literally have stopped teaching kids basic computer knowledge anymore, and assume they'll have picked it up intuitively, and so do their parents. but it's not intuitive, it's a skill like any other. and a lot of the kids are post-zoom era, which you'd think would make them more tech-literate, but no one was beside them looking at their computers to teach them, and they wound up with at least a year's gap of educational neglect in general as well. it's gotten... weird. the kids get by, cause a lot of tech is just 'push a button' now, and they soak up the new information like the little freak sponges they are, but quite often no one has sat down with them and explained jack shit before ....that being said, the amount of grown adults I have to explain that 'no, if you don't save the file it won't exist when you close the file' on a daily basis to is... so high. soooo high. people are unbelievably stupid
but then again, I can only speak to one form of educational system, so truly, who the fuck am I lmao
idk like, ive worked with kids and based on my experience theyre just kind of fucking stupid i say this w all the love in my heart but u take the smartest kid ive ever worked with n ask them a basic fuckin question and theyll just go huh bc thats how kids r i think this is less "the youth of today has smth wrong with them" and more the usual thing where a generation gets 9lder and starts teaching and interacting w kids and realize kids r kinda fucking stupid. we have a huge scare abt how the latest generation cant do this or that every ten years and its fine every time. kids get older and they learn shit.even if u got a teenager thats kinda fucking stupid they can still learn. also just like u said a lotta fucking adults r also tech illiterate as shit so i think this is more demographic based and not age based. kids whose parents r good w computers or who have access to some sort of education abt computers will learn that shit. also some places have more of a culture of fostering this shit like here piracy counts as basic tech literacy i think and that migjt not be the case in other places
anyway the reason these posts annoy me bc i used to see all this posting abt how well b the genrration who isnt a cunt to kids and doesnt demean them and now 10 yrs later yall r doing that shit like u were also kind of fucking stupid as a kid and adults were probs freaking out about how u cant even read and now ur an adult n ur fine. also if kids cant do smth its not their fault its the fault of every adult around them so in any case stop talking abt how kids r tech illiterate itll be fine calm down. most of yall dont even have kids n if ya do teach them computers
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monkiebois · 2 years
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Okay dont get me wrong i LOVE mei pigsy and tang.
but
now hear me out
ynow how the jttw gang always kinda--how do i say this--hurt wukong. now wukong didnt hate them and im not saying that jttw gang and lmk gang are the same but they ARE thier reincarnations. idk ever since i started watching lmk i noticed something odd with the gang. and maybe its for plot convenience but it always stuck out to me.
they dont really listen to mk.
you could argue that mk kept lbd a secret from the others bc he didnt want to put them in danger--which yeah he did say that BUT-- i think it was really because they werent listening to him and he didnt want to seem like a burden.
ynow how when children try to say something to thier parents but the parent brushes them off annoyingly so now the child thinks thier a burden and that they should keep the thing to themself.
yeah.
cause if i remember correctly during shadow play mei was talking about the things mk would ramble anxiously about and she mentioned a "bone demon" i dont think she exactly meant it as "oh its just annoying" i think she meant it as "chill out and have fun" theyre talking about how he keeps going off to do monkie kid stuff instead of hanging with them and honestly i think theyre being kinda selfish.
i mean if i was the monkie kid.
and i had the fate of the world/my family/my friends resting on my shoulders then i'd be pretty determined to be a good monkie kid and work my ass off to be the best monkie kid i can be which mk is doing.
but they always say something like "its fine" or "we have your back" maybe mk does get anxious a bit too much but think about it.
they might have his back.
they might always be there for him
but in the end (at least b4 mei got the samadhi fire) they dont have the same power mk does. they dont have the same weight on thier shoulders.
if dbk came back during these seasons as strong as he was in the pilot who's responsibility would it be to save the city? the gang can evacuate everyone but its up to MK
his strength. his friends might be the support but mk is the hero. they dont understand that. acting like he just needs to chill out and spend more time with them. idk im rambling rn and this makes no sense at all i just feel like in the first three seasons they just...act a bit strange when it comes to mk's monkie kid bussiness.
(b4 samadhi fire)
"oh we're a team. its up to all of us"
"Mei your not the one here that has the powers of a god"
"im a dragon tho!"
"and im the succesor of the monkey that could only be taken down by buddha himself get on my level"
(post samadhi fire)
"hah, now i have god powers too"
"...okay maybe now you'll understand the pressure ive been under that you guys keep undermining"
"huh?"
"yeah thats what i thought. lov ya girl. call me when the weight of safety of the world starts breaking you down" * pogo staffs away *
"....huh?!"
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itafushin · 1 year
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Do you have headcanons about macaque's recovering process from bpd and his copying skills (like about holding back extreme emotions or apathy, how does he regularly motivates himself to keep healing and so on)?
thats honestly a really good question...strap in, its a long one
macaque is definitely prone to bad spirals and bad episodes, as evident in the show, and he tends to internalize a lot of it and lash out in aggression. because of that i feel like starting the healing process was really hard for him. with lbd off his back and a lot more free time, im sure he thought alot about the things he did in the last few centuries. he probably stayed holed up in his dojo for a good while after the lbd stuff and just...thought. all that thinking led to spirals and breakdowns and he spent that time crying more than hes ever cried in his life. but afterwards i think he felt fine, stagnant even, and thats when he finally decided he could move on.
its hard giving up your fp and if hes anything like me im sure he didnt want to let go. he didnt want to break off those ties he had with wukong because those were familiar, safe. he fell back onto bad habits a lot, (i headcanon that he has s/h stims and he pulls on his fur when hes really stressed which adds to his bald spots), and found himself in spots where he felt the urge to go and fight wukong again, like before. during times like these his shadows are actually really helpful ! they help ground him and im sure rumble and savage help talk him through his breakdowns when theyre alone together. they help drive him to keep going, i think, because they know as well as he does that he needs this.
i think mk is another big motivator for macaque too, if not the biggest. he cares about mk so much, way more than he was ever expecting to, and i think he does hold some guilt and remorse about the way he treated mk. he wants to repair their relationship and actually become friends in the genuine way that mks friends with everyone else. and mac knows he cant get that if hes still holding onto the past, ya know. he wants to be someone mk could go to when wukong isn't available (he makes that...very very clear its honestly a little endearing) so i think he always thinks about mk while hes going through the process of healing.
and honestly, repairing his friendship with wukong could be something of a motivator too. he wants them to have something thats normal, im assuming, and maybe thats why he hangs around ffm still. but its also a little bit of a bittersweet memory of sorts, to see everything still as it was. to see bits of him still there.
with the holding back extreme emotions, macaque is the type to bottle everything up util he explodes. which isnt...healthy AJVKSKCJ i think overtime and mk exposure showed him its okay to feel those things...its okay to cry and to be upset and to just. be a person...obviously he only ever lets himself feel those things in the privacy of his dojo but hey, at least its something !
he does have set backs, as everyone does because healing isnt linear, and he still has days where its almost like hes back to being that hard-headed smartass trying to kill everyone...but i think now its a bit easier to deal with those days because he has a support system. he has people to rely on that wont shun him away, even if things are rocky between them all. but hes trying and he'll keep trying because as much as he lets it on, i dont think he actually enjoys being alone as much.
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un-named-thing · 2 years
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i dunno if you write poly stuff, but can u do some steddie x ftm!reader, angst to fluff where reader is like rlly heartbroken about having a crush on both of them bc reader thinks its weird/confusing plus theyre trans so kinda double homocide 💀 anyway steddie accepts readers confession and comforts them happy ending woohoo
I write any kind of stuff really if that makes sense and I actually really like this idea
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'So it's not weird?' Steddie x ftm!reader
Summary: after a good talk with yourself you finally gather up the courage to tell Steve and eddie what you've wanted to say for a while,
Cw: reader being real upset, angst to fluff
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I leaned against my locker, zoned out as Dustin basically yelled into my ear how exited he was about hell fire tonight. It was pretty exiting. But wasn't so excited tho. The thing is Eddie finally managed to get Steve to tag along which made Dustin even happier which isn't the bad part.
The bad part was that i was panicking. I have had a huge crush on Steve and eddie and i hated myself for it. I thought it wasn't normal and that something was wrong with me.
I wished i could just pick one to fanboy over but i simply couldn't. I loved eddie and his mass amount of energy. I loved the way he could light up a room in seconds.
And steve i loved how laid back he was but he could also get serious really quickly. Also how protective he was of the group. Both of those men just made me lose my damn mind.
But confessing would be like asking for a death sentence, especially to both of them. But even if they did somehow say yes and where okay with it what if they found out i was trans. Then it would all be over before it started.
But even them accepting my confession is very, very slim. If i confessed it would probably ruin our friendship forever.
I was suddenly shaken from my thoughts when i felt dustin literally shaking me. He looked really concerned. "Are you okay?" "Ya I'm fine" i quickly answerd trying to hide the fact that i was on the brink of tears. I bit my bottom lip trying not to cry.
My eyes darted around the hall before they landed on a clock. "Oh look at the time, I better go to my last period.. see ya at hell fire Dustin" i said slowly walking away before speeding of in the direction on my class. Dustin stood there confused for a moment before shrugging it off and heading of to his last period.
I rushed into my classroom just as the bell was about to ring. I took a seat in the back and put my head down. I was trying so damn hard not to cry but it was getting harder and harder the more thoughts popped into my head.
Why the hell did I have to have a crush on two damn guys. Why do I have to be so confusing. God I don't even know what this would be called.
God look at me, trans and I have a crush on two guys. Thats double homicide if anything. For now I just have to get through these last hours and I can go home and cry into my pillow and try to forget how weird I am.
Time skip
The Bell rang making me jump slightly as I was half way asleep. I looked around and quickly realised people where packing up and leaving. I cussed under my breath and jumped up. Basically running out the classroom.
I took a deep breath when suddenly I was being picked up. I looked down only to see eddie. He had that usual happy grin on his face. I blushed as he pulled me into a tight hug.
"Ready for hell fire n/n?" He asked. He looked so damn exited and I simply nodded in response. He smiled and led me to the club room. But not even half way there steve joined us, and now it was time to start panicking. I couldn't get a single word out. I was embarrassed as hell.
Why was it so damn akward? Was it me? I breathed heavily as we finally reached the club room.
Eddie paused and turned to me right as he was about to open the door. "Hey n/n you okay, you look out of it?" Eddie asked concerned "Ya you okay m/n?".
Great now both eddie and steve where asking if I was okay. Internally I was fucking screaming. "Ya ya I'm fine just nervous for... hell fire is all". I gave a weak smile to both of the guys. They exchanged glances before eddie finally opened the door.
The room was full of the normal people you'd see in hell fire. Expect lucas was out. Again. So Erica was taking his place, which she was more than happy to do. I took my place next to mike as I normally do and steve stood next to me, using Eddie's "throne" for support.
There was no need for me to be this nervous but something in me was just going crazy. Plus I still couldn't calm down from what happened just seconds ago. I just tried to concentrate on the game and nothing else. But oh god was it so damn difficult.
Yes another time skip
Another successful hour of playing dnd with my friends was over and i actually managed to keep it together. Kinda. Everyone was happily cheering and getting their stuff together.
I was about to get up and join the others when eddie stopped me by grabbing my hand. I turned to him with a slight tint of red on my face.
"Heeey n/n, me and steve are going back to mine to hang out, your coming with" he said with a devilish grin. I gulped and my head ran wild. I quickly responded "sorry eddie I'm busy" i gave him a soft smile before trying to get my hand back.
Suddenly steve grabbed my other hand and a smirk spread across his face. "He wasn't asking" they laughed as they watched my face turn into a look of horror. They pulled me along all the way holding my hands in their's, with eddie slightly ahead of us.
I walked out into the empty parking lot where Steve dragged me and Eddie to his car. Eddie happily jumped into the front seat when Steve unlocked the car. And I got into the back quietly.
Steve pulled out of the parking lot and onto the rode. Eddie gave him a look. "You remember where I live harrington?" "How could I not" Steve answered not taking his eyes of the rode.
I smiled slightly trying to sink into my seat. 'Just smile and sit quietly m/n, maybe they'll forget your here and you can run home and cry at how pathetic you are' at this point I was mentally scolding myself from not being able to resist these two and just give into them.
I looked up and saw eddie looking straight at me. "Okay l/n spill your guts, you've been weird the whole day. Even hell fire and I know how much you love hell fire. I mean come on Even Dustin mentioned how weird you where acting. So come on spill it" eddie said turning from a more cheery tone to a serious one.
I froze. I was darn speechless. I didn't know what to fucking say and the worst part it when I looked over to Steve who was giving me occasional glances. I knew he had concern on his face too.
I put my head down and stayed quiet. Eddie asked me acoulpe more times and so did Steve but I didn't say I word. Now the car ride was silent.
'Great m/n you ruined it you idiot' I mentally scolded myself. I could feel how much I wanted to cry but I couldn't, not here, not now. I bit my tounge trying to stop myself crying.
God why did I have to be weird and ruin one of the best friendships I've ever had. Why did I have to be the weird friend who likes his friends. I bit my tounge and played with my hands. Truing so desperately to calm myself down. But I'm pretty sure both of the guys could see that I was practically shaking.
The car ride was painfull but I didn't want it to end cause I knew as soon as we got to Eddie's they would bonbrad me with questions. I didn't want that. I was so damn on edge I would definitely spill my gut and that would be a disaster.
But that car ride couldn't last forever and soon i felt the car stop and eddie get out. Steve got out and opened the door for me. I nodded a thank and walked with Steve to eddie. Eddie unlocked his door and fell on the couch looking at me and steve.
Steve led me to the couch and sat me between him and eddie. Just fucking great. My breathing quickened when I felt eddie and steve give me a side hug at the same time. They didn't speak but I knew they where burning to know what was bothering me so much.
Steve broke the silence first. "Hey n/n we don't know what's bothering you so much but we hope that we can help in some way" he gave me a soft smile patting me on the back as eddie gave me a tight hug.
I didn't even notice that I started crying. I guess everything I've built up just over flowed. I could feel steve join the hug as well. "Hey if you don't feel comfortable talking about it it's okay but we won't judge you" I could feel eddie smile and tighten the hug.
Now it really all over flowed and I just spilled out my gut. "Goddamit, what's bothering me is you two. I love both of you so damb much but its so fucking weird, I know and maybe I could be normal and confess without all these tear but it would be really much easier if I was born a damn guy just like the both of you!"
I curled up in a ball, sobbing, with both of the guys pulling back to look at me. They looked at eachother before going back to hugging me. I was slightly stunned at this. I more or less stopped sobbing so much but I was the furthest thing from calm.
This time eddie spoke up first. "Jesus I wouldn't be surprised if you told us you could read minds too" he laughed slightly and hid his face in the crook of my neck.
"It was kinda obvious that you had a crush on one of us man, but we didn't really know which one off us" "we didn't expect it too be both" eddie spoke up right after Steve.
I wiped away the tears and looked up at them both. "But what about me be-" I was cut off when Steve picked me up and hugged me lifting me of my feet. Eddie joined in and hugged me from the back.
I didn't know what to say but I was finally happy that they knew, and they didn't think this was weird. "So n/n, Steve are we like in a couple but there are three people?" eddie asked shooting glances at both of us.
"Yes eddie that's how it works" I said as Steve finally put me down. "Nice, but now that your okay, you are okay right?" "Yes I'm fine" I said looking at eddie "good! Now who wants to have some fun?! If you know what i mean" "Seriously eddie?" Steve looked at him, slightly disappointed
"Ehhh fine Steve but I'm taking m/n with me then" eddie smirked as he dragged me off to his room. "Oh no you dont" I heard Steve yell behind us. I smiled. Okay maybe I wasn't so weird after all.
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i-am-very-heck · 1 year
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hiiii i rbd the "ask me about my ocs" post from you so i am gonna put questions in the inbox. sorry for being late i rbd it when i was still in school > > anyway!! i am always open to hear anythin but vague questions r hard ik so i will ask about hell bitch lol. do you have anything relatin to her? i ask because we are shaking hands🤝 over "getting attached to our save editing bs characters" if no, thats fine! id also like to hear about deliri :] theyre pretty cool
ksdjfks you're fine bro i get that
but anyways. so uhhh. hell bitch :)) like i said in a previous post, her and jerry are sisters. whether i said twins or sisters idk but fuck it they are in fact twins, not identical ones though (fraternal?). (the actual reason for this is that i had two saves of jerry and one was for testing and had the wrong face but at some point bc i wanted to test the whole throwing urself in the hell hole thing so i changed the save with the wrong face into hell). after her and jerry split off, hell went on to have SO many divorces (/hj not all of the rings are actually hers). in reality she only had like 7 which is still a lot i think. the other 62 rings she was either given by friends who know she collects them, or she stole them from ppl/corpses. also hell tapped into the code of the world around her by complete accident. genuinely clipped into the backrooms and had to find her way out through the code or something. also boo she's a cheese wizard who is an agent of chaos (<- starting perk that idk if it's actually accessible in the prologue? i didnt check). also rollerskates everywhere. zoom .
ALSO YOU GET SOME DELIRI FUN FACTS BECAUSE YES (mostly related to his romance thing w bruise bc thats whats on my mind)
he's like. just as tall as bruise when wearing the heels so like 6'5" or so. also like. to compare how they fell in love w each other. deliri was basically shot through the heart with at like first interaction. cupid really hit him with the strongest shot he had. meanwhile, it took a while for bruise to really warm up to him. however, when he realized this crush, it was too late bro. the poison already set in and he was along for the ride at this point (als ty eden for that analogy my brain has latched onto it). also, after the whole arm wrestling and fight in bruise's office, deliri just sorta dumped his unconscious body on the couch and left a note in his pocket that read something like
"hey sweetheart, if the government doesn't work out for ya... call me! xoxo deliri~ OC-243"
anyways yes i did my research on what phone numbers were like in the 1920s for that . yes i am normal (/j im not)
but yeah !!! ocs when the :))
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morrysillusion · 11 months
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oh yeah i saw the mario movie last night. i dont have much to say about it? it was fine. it wasnt bad, i didnt expect it to be bad. just alright, and it was. all i cared about was jack black bowser tbh. and ya know what- even that was alright. i love jack black, he played bowser well, but i didnt really find any of the characterization of bowser, or anyone for that matter, to be all that good. (esp peach).
but actually you know what i DO have to talk about??? trailers. specifically Illuminations trailer for Migration. okay, holy shit. okay.
i randomly saw the teaser quite a while back on a twitter ad, was like "huh, why havent i seen any promos for this one?" took a look back then and was like... ok interested because this seems very different from Illuminations usual thing, but there is NOTHING to go off in this teaser. ducks migrating? they have troubles? is that it? it was just the less than a minute teaser.
so in the theater last night this trailer starts up and opens with a clips of the fist Despicable Me and im thinking oh is it another of those? is it some kinda rerelease in theater? then the video goes on to say "coming from the creators of" [lists of EVERY movie of theirs including Pets, Minions, Mario, Grinch etc] and im like ok wow this sure is a LOT of build up.
and THEN..... its the Migration "trailer" aka the short teaser. You can actually see just what I'm describing here. what the hell kind of set up is that. do they not like this movie? it almost feels like they know its different. and that no one is going to care unless they remind everyone what else they made. theyre going to fall into the typical "hm we made a movie thats weird and not our usual. lets NOT promote it and make it flop". im intrigued because it is different. i want to see this because it looks unlike their normal stuff. why the hell do corps do this thing where they take the Weird and do nothing to help it? id love a silly animated movie about ducks migrating. the art in the trailer looks really nice. but im just waiting for this movie to flop and never be heard of again.
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batsbooktalk · 2 years
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June Rapidfire Reviews
Novels
Clown in a Cornfield // Adam Cesare
4/5 YA fiction novel, horror (slasher)
A local mascot starts killing off small town teenagers, the vibe is very much "i know what you did last summer" but boomers vs gen-z, suprisingly not one of those terrible out-of-touch depiction of gen z like its a decent fun little slasher time, i want this adapted into a movie just so i can watch a murder clown horror movie trailer set to an ICP song like imagine it
possible cw: slasher movie violence & gore, dead teenagers (accidents & murder), the kind of bullshit thatd come out of a prank youtube channel, little bit of girl-hate,
Legends and Lattes // Travis Baldree
3.5/5 adult fiction novel, fantasy (high), slice of life
a D&D style adventurer decides to settle down and open a coffee shop, you can just blaze through this one it goes so fast, pretty bland but thats what its supposed to be so its overall a good little fluffy time
possible cw: house fire
Final Girls // Riley Sager
2.75/5 adult fiction novel, thriller
One of the lone survivors dubbed by the press as "the final girls" dies and the remaining two meet & bond over having similar traumas, cuts between present day & the day of pov characters' murder incident, i thought i was signing up for a "dark places" story and instead im getting "i spit on your grave 3", litterally every single character drives me fucking insane i hate everyone theyre all annoying, wtf was that scene why the fuck did i just read that, twists werent bad but most of the book just wasnt for me
possible cw: trauma, alcohol & drug abuse, kleptomania, misplaced vigilante violence, repeated use of the phrase "i'm fine", sexual assault, violence & gore, lots of vomit, being drugged,
Rolling in the Deep (prequel to Into the Drowning Deep) // Mira Grant (aka Seannan McGuire)
3.5/5 adult fiction novella, scifi, horror
The story of how the crew of the Artargatis dissappeared while searching for mermaids, feels kinda like a teaser for the main story but i liked getting to read about the mermaid performer group
possible cw: brief ableism, gore & violence
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shmur-is-the-word · 16 days
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vent post - Jen Leon dont read
We are a disabled person who lives with our grandparents. we live with our grandparents because our parents were abusive. i dont understand why they think its such a fucking great idea to vent to me about their son (our "father") and his shit when i OBVIOUSLY dont want to hear about him ESPECIALLY because they are going to the ends of the Fucking Earth to help him with every little thing (read: helping him avoid the consequences of his own actions) also i get his health is bad but that is FAR from all theyre helping with when it took YEARS literally our Entire teenage life for them to do the Bare Minimum of helping us Get Away from him kicking him out it took our doc telling them we couldnt even start considering recovery if we didnt get away from him for them to be like "Oh maybe we shouldnt make redacted live with him" like FOR REAL its not like i had a lot of other options at the time i couldnt just fuckin leave ya know? and now they wanna complain about how he treats them AS IF IT ISNT EXACTLY HOW HE TREATED ME --IN FRONT OF THEM!!! like i get it it sucks but like I fucking Told you he was an asshole and at least he doesnt Physically Harm you like why am i supposed to be more empathetic to you about it than you were to me? why do you want me to feel so fucking sorry for our Abuser? why do i have to be the good one all the time? Maybe i want to be spiteful and angry Maybe im sick of having all your shit being put on me and the other alters and then being expected to be Fine becasue lord knows if we have a breakdown or have a ptsd episode suddenly its like the family is perfect and my behavior makes no sense and "i guess we are the problem" or "but why dont you just talk to us" as if that helps ANYONE
having to be dependent on other people fucking sucks
We do have a friend who is basically family that would take us in (and has offered) and knows about our health issues but i dont know about the logistics of it especially with trying to work out such a big change with all the alters also we cant even consider moving until we sort out SSI stuff but thats a different rant
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