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#and they worry their loved ones to death
yyj7348 · 6 days ago
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You can probably tell who my favs are
Characters w scarves and a little less self-control than usual are the best
And I feel like they would make good friends/scout partners???
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casimania · 11 months ago
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Maze/Lucifer/Pierce (Mazicainifer??) has the perfect setup for some demon blade knife play lol
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#Talking Tag#Luciblogging#Stab stab stabbity stab#Maze takes some offense when Marcus implies they gotta be careful with her#He's still slightly obsessed/terrified by ppl around him dying so to him Maze is like made of porcelain sometimes#He's the squishest of them all but the one that bounces back from accidental deaths faster#Lucifer can fly back up from Hell but there's always the worry he'll get attacked/sealed there#But Maze. She'd just pop out of existence and Marcus frets like crazy#With no soul there's nothing for Lucifer to even go grab or something like that#Marcus doesn't know what it takes to kill a Demon and doesn't want to figure it out any time soon so he frets a little#Cause Lucifer and Maze still sort of act on a Hell level on some stuff and tend to get overboard#And so Marcus makes a comment about being careful about Maze and she's LIVID#For weeks she makes a point to show him just how squishy and puny his human ass is compared to her#He wants a can of beer and she grabs it and crushes it in a hand. He takes a fork to eat and she grabs it and bends it with two fingers.#She has to walk past him in the kitchen and just picks him up and sets him on the kitchen table to move him out of the way#One morning he has to ask Lucifer for help because she just won't let him get out of bed#He tries every single trick but she just grabs him and throws him back on the bed like a sack of potatoes. But Lucifer just laughs and looks#Lucifer probably takes mercy on Marcus after a while and tells him just to beat the shit out of each other#So Maze knows she respects her and her strenght. So he does that and of course he gives as good as he gets but she wipes the floor with him#And then Lucifer gets them all a Linda session to address Marcus' existential dread over their death and losing loved ones#And Maze issues with hating feeling weak or incapable of protecting the ones she cares about#Cause for once Lucifer is the well adjusted one with a sensible answer#Not that he didn't enjoy seeing Maze torment and distressed Marcus for a whild for putting his foot in his mouth.#But anyway. They get to have a talk and then set down some rules for some safer knife play during sexy times
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kaibutsushidousha · 25 minutes ago
Your opinion on Pepe? Also do you have any speculation about his character arc in future LBs?
I’m really sorry I answered that ask a few months saying I had already run out of things to say about Hakuno because I was lying.
Yuga Kshetra’s biggest narrative weakness and main reason why it’s my favorite FGO chapter is its overreliance on CCC references and parallels. Pepe reflects that not only by mentioning Gatou once, but mainly by having way too much in common with Hakuno. This is easy to notice on the surface level of them being people nice to everyone around them while firmly rejecting the idea that they are good people because they killed a lot out of self-preservation, but honestly, they remain extremely similar both in their complexities and in the circumstances that lead them to be like that.
Pepe was born with the awareness that he’s on his last reincarnation, but he considers himself too flawed to reach enlightenment on the one lifetime he still has left, so he sorta gave up on everything before he started. That’s his one key character that defines pretty much the whole rest of his character. On one hand, he cares more about helping the other Crypters than about anything pertaining to himself, because he believes there's a future for them and not for him. But, paradoxically enough, he’s also unwilling to do anything for self-preservation, up to willingly choose the death of all non-Crypter humans over his own, also out of consciousness that he’s the one guy who gets no next time. And his fascination for myths with reincarnation cycles is a case of longing for what you can’t have.
Similarly, Hakuno is something of a digital ghost who can’t exist outside of the Moon Cell. They fight for their survival in the Grail War, but touching the Grail would kill them instantly. Both Hakuno and Pepe are people with no past and no future choosing to make connections to derive value from the present, because that’s the only thing they have.
If I had to say they have one key difference, that’d be Pepe’s ability to cut people off. Hakuno’s lack of a past is just as much of a part of their circumstances as their lack of a future, but Pepe’s lack of a past was entirely his own choice. He actively chose to kill his entire family including all vassals. Even his later life, where he lived years as a mercenary, came into contact with many different people, but never found he felt he belonged to until he became a part of Chaldea’s Team A, there’s an element of agency in Pepe not forming bonds with anyone. This is reflected best in how, after spending the whole Lostbelt as our companion, Pepe jumps back to his Crypter job with no remorse, bluntly saying “I don’t think we ever had any deep conversations”. Hakuno is someone who can give up on people, as Eliza’s case shows, but they would never deny any connection they made.
Well, moving a bit away from the Hakuno topic, another really good angle to look at Pepe’s character is in how he reflects Kirschtaria’s ideals. At his most cynical, Kirsch believed that the human mindset was hardwired into taking away from its peers and that only those raised under very circumstances are capable of truly loving, acknowledging, and valuing others. Pepe sorta works as a proof of concept here, as someone who once murdered his entire household in one set of circumstances, and then became Friend Man the Friendliest on a different set.
But more importantly, their actions are an example of what Kirschtaria valued the most: humanity’s potential to inadvertently help each other by simply moving on with their goals. Kirsch revived his fellow Crypters and gave them Lostbelts mostly out of necessity for his plan, but in doing so, he allowed Pepe the second chance at life he always believed he would never get, and if everything went according to his plan, Pepe would be free from his worries about his definitive end. Meanwhile, Pepe naturally provided the exact kind of support Kirschtaria needed the most: a mind-reading companion who could understand him even while the alien god’s contract prevented him from talking to his dear one-sided friends about his dreams or the time they spent together.
Now we move on to the second question, where I think Pepe is going next. Well, starting with the obvious, Pepe left Olympus saying he’s after Beryl to avenge Kirschtaria, so we’re guaranteed to have him in Avalon le Fay. However, Yuga Kshetra builds up his relationship with Daybit, and Olympus also reiterates it with the “I refuse to die in a world without Daybit” line, so I believe he’s surviving and moving to the Amazon Lostbelt.
With that out of the way, let’s move on to the crazier theories. First off, one thing I’ve been wondering since somewhere mid-Yuga Kshetra was with if Pepe was secretly a tengu because tengus are generally abhijna practitioners who fell of the Buddhist ways and Pepe is an abhijna practitioner who already gave up on enlightenment. His deadname being Arou meaning “crow son” adds to the tengu imagery. The end bit of his Lostbelt convinced me he was not a tengu in disguise, but I always held on to the idea that he was one step away from becoming one. This January delivering an event that’s there almost solely to establish how tengus work in Type-Moon and confirm that they follow the “fallen abhijna people” version really reinforced my confidence that we’ll see Pepe becoming a tengu in Avalon le Fay.
Lastly, a much less likely alternative to tengu Pepe, my plan B theory for the very off-chance Pepe won’t become a tengu: Servant Pepe. In Rin’s first exposition on what is a Servant, she explains that the people marked in history are removed from the reincarnation cycle by Alaya’s Counter Force, becoming Heroic Spirits. So, it’s still possible that Pepe is on his last life not because he’s out of second chances, but because he’s becoming a Servant as Scandinavia Peperoncino. The Crypters’ story is a story about second chances, after all. That said, I really fell off of this theory when Little Big Tengu happened and revealed tengus are immortal, meaning Pepe wouldn’t need to become a Servant to escape the permanent end of his existence.
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wishingonafanfic · 40 minutes ago
Could you write an S/O who has zero special awareness like hit your hand on the doorknob bang your Head on the sink by accident kind of bad coordination? With brahms , bubba and thomas hewitt, bill and stu? You can take it as far as you want with the zero awareness have fun cus personally I grew really fast when I was little so I kind of still have no spacial awareness
Sure can :)! Also please be careful lol
| Slashers with an s/o with zero awareness |
Includes : billy & Stu, brahms, bubba sawyer, Thomas hewwit
Warnings: slight sexual mention, slight bruise mention, and just getting hurt a lot
Sorry this took so long!
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Billy & Stu
Okay, I’m just gonna say it...Stu laughs, but only when it’s minor things like tripping over books or something, though he gets a good slap at the back of the head by billy
Billy acts annoyed especially after you end up at the hospital because you hit your head on the sink just a BIT to hard. Though he’s actually really worried about you getting a concussion or dieing
Stu gets worried as well, he takes a second to sort of go through the possibility’s of every way you could hurt yourself to a dangerous extent
Both boys would be worried, so be prepared to have them at your side all the time
“I got to go to the bathroom”
“Aw Babe let me come with you”
Billy tagging along “wait for me!”
Trying to take a shower
“Come on Stu I can get in the shower by myself
“Baaaaabeeeeeee
“Stu is right we should just take a shower together
“Yeah babe ;)”
They really care even through billy pretending he doesn’t and Stu just being goofy after a while they have probably been so careful of you that your now super Paranoid about everything
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Brahms heelshire
( I love this gif so much 💕 he looks so cute just standing there )
Being in Brahms house is a just a giant death trap for you
Like the furniture is really big, you’d probably tripped in the stairs multiple times, also Brahms has the habit of leaving his books on the floor :/
At first Brahms just thinks your a little clumsy, though that time you tripped on one of the steps and almost fell over the railing, or when you almost hit your head on one of his big ass cabinets Brahms took notice
He’s clingy by nature so now he’s all over you all the time, he acts like a brat when he helps you down the steps by holding onto your hand, he puts in some effort to put his books back on the shelf
But don’t think you won’t have to go by his list of rules
He will just make sure you don’t die while doing them :)
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Bubba sawyer
Poor baby :(, he is so worried
He will never let you go near his little killing area, because he’s afraid you’ll get caught on one of the hooks
He is so cautious with you all the time, you barley walk anymore he carries you everywhere all the time.
He try’s to get advice from Hoyt but that bastard tells him to lock you in your shared bedroom
Overall very worried and has really no clue what to do
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Thomas Hewitt
Just like bubba he doesn’t let you near his killing area
He talks to Luda may about it, so she probably gives you somewhat careful advice on how to not burn yourself
If you get bruises from times you’ve hurt yourself he will take that body part and give it a nice kiss
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its-chelisey-stuff · 43 minutes ago
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Random thoughts as I watched Ep 1 of Doom at your service
Haven’t done one of these posts in a while, but I had lots of fun doing it and watching the ep! Everyone should watch it!! It was really good!
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Wow the opening it's really pretty
Our heroine is dying and she's worried about missing work? Girl, we need to talk😅
Seo InGuk! Dressed as a doctor?🤤 Yes please!
Damn she's dying in 3 months?
Is Seo In Guk like a grim reaper? Or the opposite? Lol
Well it looks like he punishes bad people so... good?
This little sick girl is actually a God? 
Yeah, humanity needs a cleansing Seo InGuk, punish all the bad bastards
Oh no! A glass of water by the evil rich woman! A classic. Oh hell, your oppa is married? 😲 Piece of trash 😒
Oh she's too nice, she took that woman to the hospital. I wouldn’t.
I feel so bad for our heroine and I just met her, the charm of Park BoYoung is 🥰
Did I spy with my eye a Lee SooHyuk??🤤
Wow her boss is sexist SOB
This really is her worst day ever
Omg a hole on the street 🤣 was it you, SeoInGuk?
His house looks like a cave lmao
This has been a terrible day. This can't be normal.
Dawon! (Where my fantasies at??) Damn he is a shitty bro
Of course! She lives on the rooftop! Another classic!
She was a kid when her parents died and their relatives didn't want her and her bro? 😠😭💔 awful people
Oh, she just made her wish 🤭 it certainly is an unconventional one, of course it would attract his attention
3:33? Is the time relevant?
Shoes inside the house? So rude
"my birthday crosses over the century and leaps over destiny" omg what? 🤣🤣
He's hot but uh how to say it? Also very ambiguously weird
Bro in these times of covid this power to travel is awesome, even if it's only a dream
“Is he american or what?” 🤣🤣
A painless death? Nah, she will take the forbidden supernatural romance with the hot immortal and magical man! K, thanks. Life is short 😜
Aaand the people did disappear! Your wishes are his command, honey!
Yo it just hit me now too 😂 he reads her mind, I'm dense hahaha
So that's why she's calm about her illness and imminent death. If she doesn't see it, it's not real. Hmmm but of course the pain is another thing...
Idk if you walk next to someone and they collapse wouldn't you help them in that moment?🤷🏻‍♀️
Of course he saves her!! But this is an interesting way to do it 😂 not quite the knight in shining armor way to do things
What's with the bubbles? Lmao
She takes his hand, our countdown to her death begins, my romance will come and I'm officially in love with this show!!! 🥰💓
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First of all, thank God! I wanted this to be good so much, I was practically prepared to be let down, like for real, I thought it was gonna be bad or I wouldn't like something major about it. But I already feel bad for our heroine, I like the cheekiness of MyeolMang (and the way Seo In Guk plays him doesn't feel like he's imitating actors who have played similar roles in other fantasy dramas), the mystery around his character and I'm interested in the world building. And the chemistry!!! Goodness me, I can already see the angst and the romance coming and I know I'm gonna melt and root for them. yes!!
My one complaint about this ep is that we really haven't seen the rest of our main cast (and I wanna see Kang Tae Oh so badly!) but that only makes me excited for their introductions!! Also, yes there's a love triangle here but it's for our secondary characters, which is not something you see often and I really don’t mind it. I’m gonna have fun with it.
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sofi-yeager · 3 hours ago
hey, it's my first time doing any request so i'm little embarrassed but i'm excited too!! i love your writing so much<33 i had this in my mind for a while
Eren's s/o kissing his palms/hands or the spots where he usually bites his hand when he's about to transform
it can be anything(like drabble/headcanons etc. i hope you get me😭) once again I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM!!
that is so frickin adorable STOP I LOVE YOU AND YOUR BRAIN🥺 you can always request things to me, i’m not sure how soon i’ll get onto them but i will try my best and i love hearing from you!
okay i’m actually really proud of this one haha! the drabble will take place during the reclaim of shiganshina arc if that’s alright, and psa i scared myself writing a certain line because i had no clue how i was going to proceed after implying a major death LMAO. i think you’ll know what line i’m taking about but don’t worry nothing happens lol.
warnings: angst... IM SORRY🥲
words: 1.1k
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kissing vow ~ eren x reader
Dawn quickly rose over the well-known territory. The part of land that was whispered upon for years ever since its fall, and a place strangely familiar to all your ears and hearts even if you hadn’t traveled there yourself. After the trip into the midnight wilderness you had arrived for a mission far greater than any other, and it was clear there were no visible signs of doubt from anyone.
Except for of course, the young boy with more pressure on his chest than anyone, one you cared for very dearly who’d call almost every shot with his actions. He was frightened beyond compare, so as the last few squads stood atop Wall Maria, urgently waiting for any signal, Eren was practically pissing himself right then and there. He had returned, devised a plan with all the leading commanders in just a few days, and was now preparing to risk his life for his homeland and people. There was no moment of rest for him or any of you. Besides the constant worry of succeeding the mission this very well may be the last time any of you see each other again.
You shout out his last name, once, twice, as he was too far in his own head to hear your first call and jog to him, gripping your delicate fingers over his shoulders. In the years you’ve spent together as scouts those small releases of tension-touching had become a clear sign you wanted each other’s attention, and you both caught onto the gesture quite quickly. Eren softened his eyes in your presence to notion just how focused he was on you. His subconscious would always allow his gaze to wander to you and what you had to say, he felt calmer that way.
“I already see you getting all inside your head, I thought talking about this on the journey here would be enough for you?” you whisper, leaning your head a little closer in attempt to understand what possibly was rumbling through his mind now.
“What if we lose”
“What?”
“I can’t bear to see us all lose! If we waited a little longer, a few more days, maybe we could have advised a plan that wouldn’t risk half the corps’ lives!” He tangled his hand in his hair, gripping the shaggy strands already coming loose from the stress he overdrove himself into. Your hands soften against the thick cloth of his cape, frowning at the few tears pricking his eyelids.
“Er, you’re more than welcome to cry to me later, just not now.” you chuckle.
“How are you so sure there’ll be a later y/n.”
You mouth opens before you can process your words, watching his cheek crane over to rest on the back of your hand that still lay against his collar. Here was humanity’s savior more worried than everyone minutes before call, but that you were perfectly fine with. This side to him was all the more proof that he was human, no matter what people labeled his being as.
“How am I sure? Bold of you to question my predictions Jaeger.” you exaggerate, placing your hands on your hips in a sneer. “I’m certain i’ll come back alive, and why? Because your protecting me with ever passionate fiber in your body, just as you will everyone else. You’re fighting for our justice against these monsters, the ones with no mind or cause. You have a cause to fight Eren and you have a heart too, a damn big one if I do say so myself. It’s the reason we support you with in the entireties of our own.”
With that, you intertwine your fingers around his right thumb, softly calloused to the touch he notes time and time again, and place it in front of your mouth to kiss. His body tenses at the feeling, but his eyes widen when he realizes where exactly you’ve placed it, your trust in him, where you’ve unknowingly hinted your years of growing affection for the boy in the heap of a split second.
Over the bitten scars littered down his radial.
He looks at you in confirmation of what he thinks it meant, and smiles into those fierce doe eyes of yours. A genuine emotion he hasn’t felt in months through grieving and loss, but could so easily melt into again with you.
So yes, he held a dangerous power, but it was all his. Something his true self was a part of that no one should ever neglect, and he found all the support he needed within the soldier right before him.
“Knock em dead Ren, do your best for everyone who’s lived and who will continue to. None of us would be standing here without you, so your presence alone is precious to us...
...We all believe in you, I believe in you.”
You guide his palm to your cheek, nuzzling into its claminess. As he engraves the plush feeling of his fingertips to your skin, a green smoke signal is fired.
And even when Eren was positive not everyone could be saved, he was reminded the ones following the biggest goals in the end would persevere and care for each other just as you had for him. He was confident you’d all succeed that way.
Like Armin now does over Commander Erwin,
Or little Gabi rather than Sasha, no matter what unjust brainwashing she believes.
But him or you, who would risk their own life caring for whom they loved most?
That was one thing he never wanted to find out.
Now he slouches in a rotten, stoned cell, contemplating what could’ve changed if only he had tried a little harder, or had this all been fate from the start?
His hand resting in his lap catches his glance, peering down at the bite marks still evident across his thumb. Surely if the marks he made as a teen persisted your kiss would too.
He slowly brings his hand up, cautious of any guards mistaking the move for another transformation, and presses his lips against the same spot you had. He closes his eyes at the warmth, sensing it was still emitting from your own lingering touch years ago. Unfortunately there had been no more little kisses, subtle clues of affection from either of you. He liked those hints he really did, but now he was sure you stood a few floors above him, devising a plan to put an end to his scheme rather than caring over his emotions.
Weren’t you the one who told him to keep going though?
Perhaps if he had told you his motives beforehand rather than keeping them inside. How he appreciated every act of tenderness you gave him, more than anything he’s experienced before, how all this time he’s fought on this battlefield people called the world, for you and everyone else. Maybe then you’d stay out of his way and let him succeed, but his actions had no time for feelings or explanations. The freedom he desperately searched for in the future held no care for the past.
Yet he could never lie to himself and think you didn’t love him still, even after all this time. And Eren couldn’t deny anything about his own feelings for you, it’s what kept him going.
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tommyquacksonholland · 4 hours ago
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Don’t Disappear
Request: Hello! May i request something for Arvin? Where y/n and arvin have been dating for a long time and after lenora’s death, arvin starts to shut her out and ignore y/n. y/n is very upset and goes to visit lenora’s grave to let out her feelings and the creepy priest overhears everything she says and tries to do something? Happy endiny pls with arvin coming to the rescue ☺️☺️ Love all of your works! ❤️
a/n: Thank you so much for requesting! I hope you like what I wrote :)
word count: 1314
TRIGGER WARNING: sexual assault and attempted rape. 
-------------------------------
6 weeks. 
It’s been 6 weeks since Lenora died. She was one of your best friends, and she just disappeared for your life. You boyfriend, Arvin, had completely shut you out. You had been with him for so long but it seemed like he disappeared too. You had gone to his house several times to check on him but he wouldn’t let you in his room to see him. His grandma, Emma, was really worried about him and so were you. He had always been somewhat withdrawn but now it was getting to bad.
You stepped out of your car onto the concert. You gazed ahead and saw the graveyard where Lenora’s grave was placed. You carried your Bible and some freshly picked flowers in your hands. Lenora’s grave wasn’t far but you could recognize where it was placed. Carefully setting down the flowers you sat down right in front of the grave. Your Bible was open and you were reading it as you hummed a sad little tune. 
After reading for a bit, you felt the need to get somethings off your chest. “Lenora,” you started with a shaky voice. “I need to tell you something,” you inhaled before continuing. “Arvin has shut me out of his life. And I miss him so much. He used to be there, you know but now I barely see him.” You started to tear up, “He doesn’t spend anytime with me anymore. He is so sad and it breaks my heart. I need him Lenora, I really need him.” Your fingers traced over her grave as you continued, “And you left me too. I don’t have anyone Lenora and I hate it so much. I need you and Arvin back. You guys are my people. I miss you so much.” You finished and let out a choked sob. Hot tears fell down your face and onto the grave. You felt so lonely without the two of them, they meant the world to you. 
You heard a stick crack behind you and you turned your head quickly. The new preacher, Preacher Teagardin, was standing there. “Hello young lady, I heard some of what you said and I’m so sorry for your loss.” You wiped away some of your tears, “Thank you Reverend.” You took a few steps closer, “It must be awful to be going through something like that.” You nodded, “It is.” Preston walked all the way towards you and sat down next to you. He saw your Bible open and offered to pray with you. You agreed and closed your eyes waiting for him to start. “Dear Lord, thank you for bringin’ Y/n here today in your presence. Please help her to stop feelin’ lonely because she is not alone. I am here with her and I will take care of her. Help her to know that Lord. Amen.” “Amen,” you whispered. 
Preston’s hand started to trail up your shoulder and he rubbed up and down your shoulder whispering, “It’s okay.” His hand left your shoulder and he placed it on your thigh. You looked at him but he ignored it and kept trailing his hand further up your thigh. “S-stop.” You told him because it was making you feel very uncomfortable. But he didn’t stop, his hand went under your dress and started touching in between your legs. “No, stop!” You said again but were too paralyzed with fear that you couldn’t move. You and Arvin had had sex before and you liked it when he touched you but the Preacher made it absolutely disgusting. 
He leaned over you and used his free hand to push you down. You were now laying on the ground, under the preacher who was touching you without consent. He covered your mouth and whispered, “Everything will be alright. Don’t worry I’ll make up for what Arvin didn’t do.” Your eyes filled with tears as soon as you realized what he was doing, but you still couldn’t fight back. Preacher Teagardin hiked up your skirt and began pulling down his pants to begin his torturous act. 
“Hey! Get your hands off of her!” You heard a voice whom you recognized to be Arvin. The preacher immediately buttoned his pants and pulled down your skirt before standing up, “Listen boy, I was only making up for what you didn’t do for her. She was lonely and needed a friend.” Arvin shook his head, “Don’t fuckin’ lie to me! You were about to rape her, you bastard! Get the hell out of here!” The preacher took of not wanting to get in any trouble with the police. 
You hadn’t moved from your laying down position on the ground but Arvin rushed over to you and took you in his strong arms. You hadn’t realized it but you were shaking and crying. “Darlin’ it’s alright. Your safe now. I’ve got you don’t worry.” You clung to his shirt refusing to let go as the tears made a puddle on his shoulder. He rubbed one hand up and down your back and the other was in your hair softly stroking it. He looped his arm around your leg and picked you up bridal style. He walked to his car and carefully placed you in the passenger seat of his car. Softly closing the door he walked around to his side and started the short drive home. The whole time his hand was in yours and he was rubbing it with his thumb. 
Once home Arvin carried you inside into his bathroom. He sat you on the toilet and started a warm bath for you. He came over and kneeled in front of you pushing some of the hair out of your face, “Hey darlin’. How ya feelin?” You shook your head and started crying again. He sighed and hugged you into his chest. “It’s alright darlin. How about you get in the bath, it’ll make you feel better.” You nodded, “C-can you leave, p-please?” Arvin smiled and nodded placing a kiss on your forehead. You quickly took a bath cleansing the places where the Preacher had touched you. 
Arvin had left a shirt on the counter for you to put on and the pair of underwear that you always left at his house. You put them on and wrapped the towel around your waist making your way into Arvin’s room. When you opened the door he lifted his head out of his hands and his eyes were red. “Arvin...” you started. “No no I’m fine. Are you okay?” You sighed not wanting to answer that question. He stood up and walked over to you, embracing you. He placed his head on yours and kept in the tears that were threatening to spill. He led you over to the bed and you sat down. He walked over to his side and crawled in. You looked down at the towel knowing nothing was under it. Arvin placed his hand on yours, “It’s okay, I won’t look.” You nodded and he turned over giving you privacy. You carefully stood up and removed the towel climbing under Arvin’s covers. “You can turn back now,” you said softly laying you head on the pillows. Arvin wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into him. 
“Thank you, Arvin. For savin me.” He sighed, “Well I should have been there for you the whole time not just this. I shut you out, I disappeared from your life and I’m so sorry darlin’. I didn’t even realize that I was hurtin you. I”m so sorry.” You brushed away some of Arvin’s hair and kissed his cheek, “It’s okay, I forgive you. And you didn’t disappear forever, you came back. I love you Arvin.” He smiled and kissed your forehead, “I love you too darlin’, so god damn much.” With that you drifted off, feeling safe in Arvin’s arms.
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extra-pickles · 5 hours ago
Hi, I don't know if you keep taking requests, but if so, you can make one by Mark Grayson, based on episode 6 in which the reader (it could be her friend or his partner) discovers that he is invincible, thanks <3
Of course sounds fun! i hope you like it, there will be two parts since i wrote a lot and i can't wait to post it :- )
Y/N = your name
Y/L/N= your last name
Y/H/C= your hair color
Reunions, Tears, Laughs, and secrets revealed
(part one)
It had been an exhausting few days at the least for mark, he was supposed to have a fun weekend away with his girlfriend and best friend at Upstate University, after his insides were smeared on the face of a lion barbarian from outer space that almost pummeled him to death
But fate has this sadistic way of working and instead of having fun, the university was attacked his best friend was almost transformed into a brainless cyborg, then to top it all off amber broke up with him even after he told her he was invincible and said he would do better
So yeah life was pretty shitty for mark right now.
-MONDAY-
Marks pov:
 Beep beep beep 
'What the hell is this infernal sound?' i thought as I tried to use my half-asleep brain to figure out what this beeping noise was.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I shot up from bed, my tiredness completely forgotten and replaced with stress 
'Shit! I’m gonna be late for school!' i thought as I flew to my closet and pulled on my school clothes in such a hurry I didn’t even notice that my socks didn’t match or that I left my room with my bed hair
I zoomed into the kitchen so fast I could put Red rush to shame  'wait no that’s too soon' i thought quickly remembering that the guardian's funeral was just days ago
"Hey mark breakfast is on the table why don’t you sit down with us," mom said calmly
"Sorry, mom I don’t have time ill eat on my way!" 
"oh sure no worries"her tone sounded disappointed and sad even but I didn’t have too much time to process it 
"K, love you mom byeeee," I said as I took a plain bagel and left running to school
-AT SCHOOL- 
 As I neared my locker I spotted a familiar head of y/h/c beside it
"Hey Y/N"
"Sup stranger " "long time no see how are you? how’s life?" she asked casually finally turning to face me
"Oh! I’m good you know boring life and all, yep suuper plain and normal…" 
'fuck why did I say it like that now she thinks I’m even weirder
'Great now she looking at me funny
" by the way nice socks, and I’m loving the new hairstyle" she complimented jokingly 
'Wasit socks hairstyle, what ?' i looked down only to realize I put on different colored socks
"Damn I didn’t even notice, I guess I’m starting a trend now"
A smile graced her features as she looked me in the eyes
"you know you haven’t changed at all since I left for the summer" she commented moving towards me
"Is that so, I think I’m hotter don’t you agree?" I teased her, she ran her hand through my hair fixing it up 
"Oh my god sometimes I forget how much of a dork you are," she says in between giggles pulling me along with her towards our first class 
"Hey, this dork has feelings you know!" I joked "And he really missed his 'super cool totally not a nerd best friend' "
"Well the super cool best friend missed you too, you wanna know why?" she asked me with such an infectious smile that everybody who saw her smile  would instantly feel happy 
She was that type of person that reminded you of a warm spring day in a flower field, you feel like you on cloud nine whenever she around.
Sometimes she made me forget my problems whenever she spoke
"Why?" I smiled back at her
"Well for starters  it gets lonely in Canada without you Markus, second of all I had no one else to tease and be a nerd with when I was reading the latest comics"
"Oh really, I thought you would fit in just fine with the moose there" I nudged her ribs playfully finally arriving at our classroom
"Why you little shit I was being nice to you," she said walking towards her seat laughing, I did the same finally settling down in the seat behind her
She suddenly turned back towards me "let’s catch up after school at the ice cream shop near school, and don’t be late!" she whispered quickly turning back towards the board
“But you didn’t say the time!” I say a bit too loud making the teacher send me a disapproving look
 "Sorry”
next part will be up soon!
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astroboots · 5 hours ago
🎵 ⛰ ⭐️ 🎁 for Telltale Heart, please. ❤️❤️
WRITERS ASK GAME
AAAH ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for humouring me Jay!
🎵 Playlist? I do have a playlist for this HERE because I am obsessed with creating playlists for everything I write.
Cold Little Heart by Michael Kiwanuka is the main theme song that I listened to over and over again on repeat. I mean the lyrics are kind of perfect...
Did you ever fight it? All of the pain So much pride Running through my veins
I'm in love with that line about pride because so much about the inability to forgive was not just fear of being hurt again but also the reader's own pride? So often when we're put in a position of being betrayed by a partner, we care about the optics of it from the outside. If we forgive them, do we seem like pushovers? If they do it a second and third time, do people start blaming us for forgiving them in the first place?
Also the instrumentals for Nothing Else Matters by Apocalyptica during the Autumn Section for Frankie because apparently I love pain and the sounds of the strumming violins reminded me of rain.
⛰️ The hardest part? Jesus fucking Christ all of it?! No but in all honesty the hardest part was trusting myself (which I still struggle with). I also struggled with the fact that these scenes were just random slice of life that could be any day from their daily lives where nothing much happened and I kept doubting myself that people would want to read that.
I wrote a lot of scenes, near 20k and then cut it and cut some more, so much ended up on the editing floor. Just fitting it all together and putting them into an order that made sense was immensely difficult. Because I wanted to show in a realistic way how forgiveness would take them after such a huge emotional betrayal. It wasn't until I decided to put them into seasons so that readers could get a better sense of how much time had passed that it finally started to make sense to me.
⭐ A scene I'm proud of? The scene I'm the proudest of is Frankie's section in Autumn? I was hesitating at first whether to incorporate Frankie's POV into the story at all because I found him intimidating to write. So many writers have done such amazing job writing him and his mindset, I was worried that I had nothing new to contribute. But once I started it was surprisingly easy to write. I wrote the whole section from beginning to end within an hour (which is unheard of for me), and it's one of those few things I can re-read and feel proud of?
Paragraph: If only is a ghost that lingers in the shape of 6 feet 3 in every corner of their marital house that she was never able to let go of and sell after he was no longer there. She’ll never be able to escape from it. A soldier’s widow even if he didn’t die in active duty.
I am quite proud of the imagery here, not only because I feel that it evokes quite a sad and vivid imagery, but as much as I hate Tom even I felt a bit sad over his death on behalf of Molly.
🎁 This was the longest thing I've ever written in my life. (I mean so was Kill me Softly until I wrote this). But one thing I learnt is to not be so damn harsh on yourself? (It is something I'm still struggling with).
I have a tendency to look at something I wrote and stop to edit and then eventually unravel the whole product. Don't do that. I think the best thing you can do is be Stephen King about it— which is treat it as a first draft. A sentence doesn't sound good? Fuck it keep writing. The paragraph doesn't work? Fuck it just literally but things into bracket what needs to happen [Frankie needs to fuck his wife] and just keep going. Just get to the part where your write the scene you want to write and the words start to flow and you have fun with it. You can always fix it after and in second draft the pressure is off cause the scene is already on paper, it's just a matter of tinkering with it.
Another thing I'd say is if you find yourself doubting yourself, wanting to delete or just wanting to berate yourself. If you are lucky enough to have a friend that you trust to be objective read it with fresh eyes, ask them. I am so so blessed that I have some amazing friends in this fandom to do this with. @yespolkadotkitty and @thirstworldproblemss really held my hand throughout, their encouragement and support (which is endless) was everything to me.
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singingforthepromises · 5 hours ago
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There were a few things that I was sad to see didn’t make it into today’s ep, and although I was upset about it, I was surprised that it didn’t bother me nearly as much. 
I was worried that they’d reduce Tohru’s backstory greatly, but they kept it. I’m so happy. I know there are those who wanted to see more of Kyoko’s backstory with Katsuya (particularly after his death) and I would’ve too, but... I do genuinely think that they captured this SO well without it. We got the gist of it as was necessary for Tohru’s development. 
As for the scene at the end, I also know that people didn’t like that. But visually? It was stunning and impactful. Kyo has PTSD, and he’s been trying to suppress the pain of Kyoko’s accident the closer he gets to Tohru. Looking at those photos just brought it all back to the surface. Sometimes with PTSD all it takes is one little trigger. So I do understand that it felt like he was just repressing it all this time, but that’s not how I think they meant to show it. Rather it is the catalyst that is going to move forward the upcoming stuff and anime-onlys will understand better Kyo’s headspace without all of the Kyoko/Katsuya narrative stuff. It was a symbolic visual choice to show where Kyo’s head is at and I loved it. 
The photo also cracking and falling to the floor had so much nuance to it as well. I was worried all week about this episode, but even with the things that were cut, I fell in love with it. 
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thatonesadending · 6 hours ago
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Power of Words - Chapters 5
Molly is overwhelmed with how much has changed, including his body. Caleb helps him feel a bit more normal.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31056542
It could have been minutes, or hours, that Molly sobbed into Caleb’s neck. He didn't have a grip on time, let alone his current reality, so he let himself cry until his voice was hoarse, and his cheeks tight with dried tears. He wasn't sure when he had sunk to the floor, but Caleb had gone with him, holding him close, cradling Molly in his arms as he sobbed his way to exhaustion.
It wasn't that Molly was sad or unhappy really, but he was experiencing a sort of onslaught of grief of his own death. Of all the adventures he missed, the moments he didn’t get to share. Complicating it was that he knew that his friends, people he had grown to love over an impossibly short time, now had images of him hurting them that he didn’t have. Why else had they been scared of him, wary of his return?
And then there was the issue of him. This body. The coat had helped ground him, but it only lasted a short while. Every reflection in the glass that he caught, every flinch when he approached one of the Nien too fast, every time he looked at his own hands and saw the missing rings and golden caps on his fingers … It reminded him of the fact that he had been lost, and someone else had been piloting this body.
The mixture of all the upsetting feelings, with the beauty of all the ways he had been remembered - preserved - created chaos of spilling out feelings that he couldn't help but let out in embarrassing sobs. The only thing that was coxing him back was Caleb’s hand, drawing circles on his back, humming some lullaby he faintly recognized.
There had been a time before, when he had come out empty and hollow from the grave he had been left in, that the only way Yasha had been able to calm him was to sing him a song meant for the Gods. A prayer pressed to melody. Caleb was humming it now, while rubbing his back. When he was able to steady his breathing enough, Molly managed to ask him about the song.
“How do - did Yasha give you the song?” His voice was still quiet, more of a whisper, but the ever preceptive Caleb still heard him.
“Yes, she shared it with me on a particularly hard night, seeing as we both can speak celestial.”
Molly had never thought to ask what language the song had been in, so many languages and things had been forign to him at the time. It didn't surprise him that Caleb had memorized it. He wanted to thank Caleb again, but it wouldn’t have conveyed how actually grateful he was. He stayed there for a few more moments, his cheek pressed to the man's chest, horn resting on his shoulder, and his tail wrapped tightly against his waist. It was only until he felt the ache of tiredness in his own bones, and remembered who he was holding on to, that he let go.
“I am sorry, I shouldn’t have-”
“It is alright Mollymauk, I only care that you are okay.”
Caleb didn't let Molly get very far in his self-conscious retreat, clasping him at the elbows and looking him firmly in the eyes. Molly wasn’t okay, but he also wasn’t not. He was caught in between glee at being alive again, and horror that someone else had been living for him in the meantime. And then there was that unspoken dread, the one that he was constantly trying not to think of, because what if Lucien ….
“It is alright to need time. I will do everything in my power to give you all the time you need to be okay.” Caleb’s words were like an incoming tide, slowly washing away at the edges of Molly’s worries.
“I am n- it’s just that…” He struggled find the words to try to express how he was feeling everything too much right now, and he really wanted to feel just like himself. Caleb stayed silent and just waited until Molly could compose himself to try again. “It’s a lot. The whole dying, being possessed by your former self - well a sad sack of a soul that was not me- and then living again to-” Molly gestered the gorgeous window and room that surrounded them. “-and still feel, I don't know, like I am not really here. Like I haven't earned the right to it.” Molly hadn’t really understood the weight of his emotions until he spoke aloud, and then he felt his eyes threatened to spill again. But of course, Caleb came to his rescue once more.
“Ah, I think I understand. I believe I can help, if that is alright?”
How Caleb could do anything more for him was beyond imaginable. He had already brought Molly back from his unconscious prison and a chance of life, given him a not only decadent room but one that represented his life, and most of all - Caleb had offered Molly an incredibly close embrace when he needed to cry out the most. Still, he chose to follow the human when they disentangled, and he had been led to the gorgeous red vanity he had admired before.
Caleb pulled out the overstuffed stool, and motioned for him to sit. He did so, admittedly a tad cautiously, since he didn't know what Caleb wanted from him. Nervous hands pulled out the top long drawer, but Molly couldnt take his eyes away from Caleb’s face, trying to see why the man was suddenly shy. He was used to Caleb being reserved, self-deprecating, humble to a fault, that was until he came back, and he found himself with a wizard that was more self assured and hopeful.
“My memory is not perfect, close, but - um - some things can be misremember, so if you would like any changes or if I got anything wrong …”
He looked down at the drawer as Caleb spoke. It was lined in a lavender velvet that almost perfectly matched his skin. Inside was every single piece of jewelry that he was currently missing, the outlandish bits of glitter and gold that Molly had used to set himself apart. From his earrings, the chains that had been in his horns, to the cuffs he had worn around his tail.
“I am not sure which set you would like. I tried to capture each I could remember.” Caleb was being far too modest. There laid perfect versions of every variation of his jewelry from when they had met in Trostenwald to when they left Hupperdook.
“The last ones.” His voice was still rough from crying, but Caleb ignored it and started to lift the various pieces from its place. Molly had wanted to say ‘Oh the ones that I was wearing when I died.’, but he didn't. He didn't want to taint why these were his favorite. How he had eavesdropped on Jester trying to convince Yasha to tell her which one he would like more, the horn cuff with matching  jade studs, or the crescent at the end of a teardrop earring that had a chain that would connect at the top of his ear. While Yasha had tried to convince her money would be better spent elsewhere, Molly could remember Nott sneaking up and simply pocketing both sets. She later presented them to Molly in front of the other women. “That shop was horrible, nothing worth taking, but they wouldn’t leave … so here.” He knew she hadnt meant it, that she was actually offering friendship, not earrings. He took and cherished them all the same.
Caleb was gentle, fastening the earrings with care, being impossibly soft with his horns while he placed the jewelry. Molly didn't say a word, Caleb knew where every bit went. He hadn’t meant to screw his eyes shut, but it was the only way to prevent more tears, those of anxiety, from falling. It wasn't until he felt a thumb slowly pressing gentle circles at the base of his horns, that he was able to blink his eyes open again. Caleb was kneeling in front of where he sat, hands still massaging this temple.
“Would you like to look?” he asked. Molly nodded, though only after a moment. Caleb pulled out a hand mirror, as though he knew that he couldn't turn to look at himself in the large one hanging above the vanity quiet yet. He took the matching ornate mirror and looked at just his horns, then to his ears, and then to his face. His horns and ears were familiar, grounding him in the memories that he felt were just yesterday. They gave him considerable relief compared to the reflections he had caught earlier, that looked nothing like him, but that of Lucien.
It was when he got to his actual face, did he feel the weight of sorrow again. It was still him, of course, but his hair was long and the curls greasy were uncared for. His lips were wind chapped and cracking. The hallows of his cheeks were more pronounced. It was only then that Molly realized how much weight he had lost, his already slender frame now reduced to just what was necessary. It was obvious that Lucien had not cared for his body, not with good food or consideration for its frame.
Molly tried not to let the disappointment show, because the jewelry really had help, and he appreciated Caleb’s sweetness, but there was still a part of him that was missing, hollow. Try as he might, Caleb apparently had the gods on his side.
“Not enough, ja? That is alright, give me just another moment.”
Molly didn't know how this man knew what was going on in his head, especially when he had only spoken a half a dozen or so sentences since entering this magical room. All the same, Caleb rose from his knees and crossed the room where a thick silk rope hung, and pulled on it twice. He couldn't hear what the other man said, but it was brief, and then Caleb was back his side, opening drawers again.
“I will admit, I do not know your preferences, but these are the cosmetics that Jester prefered, I only altered them to what I thought you might have enjoyed.” Molly chose to ignore the past tense, especially when Caleb pulled out several different vials of hydrating oils, scented balms for blisters, and …. A beautiful array of gold tinted make-up.
“God’s, Caleb! How much did you spend on this?!” Molly couldn’t help admonish while admiring a glistening jar of lavender body oil.
“Nothing but my imagination.” Caleb supplied, as though it was the most natural answer in the world. Catching Molly’s confusion, he continued. “This is actually a demiplane, it only lasts for 24 hours, and you can not take out what you did not bring in other than what you consume.” Caleb looked apologetic, as though that wasn’t work that only Gods should be able to do. “So while you may wear anything you want while you are here, unfortunately if it is made of magic, it won't survive outside of the tower’s walls.” Molly didn’t care, it was grateful just the same for what Caleb was giving him. The wizard handed him a balm for his lips, and opened another drawer and pulled out a delicate-looking comb.
“There is a bath on the other side of the dresser, if you have the energy for that. I am sure Jester would be willing to cut your hair, if you would like. But how about I comb it out first, and you can decide if you want that later?” Caleb’s offer warmed him, so he nodded and let the man comb through the knots of his hair, while Molly took advantage of the balms and lotion. They worked in comfortable silence for several moments. Caleb was careful and calm, relaxing Molly enough that he felt is eyes fall closed again, but this time to just sit and feel the small touches of fingers on his scalp and running through his hair. It wasn’t until he felt a small tap, that he looked and saw a cat he’d never met, somehow holding a bowl of fruits and bread and a large glass of water.
“Ah yes. Thank you.” Caleb took the bowl and set it on the table next to Molly. “If you are hungry. But please, drink this.” The glass of water was pressed into his hands, and Molly readily gulped most of it down. “If you need anything, do not be afraid to ask. The cats will bring you what you need.” How that was possible, was beyond him. But he had also been bitten by a wessel that was also apparently a god, so anything could be possible then.
Molly took a few of the grapes, and let himself relax again as Caleb finished with his hair.
“I am done. Does that feel better?” Caleb asked, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to look again. He did anyways, in the larger mirror on the wall, and was pleasantly surprised. His skin was still a bit pale, but no longer ashy with lack of moisture. He did even mind the longer hair, now that Caleb had worked out the tangles, the longer curls falling past his shoulders. He wondered if Yasha would braid it around his horns. His lips even looked more like his, smoothed and shining from the balm. He pressed his fingers to them and hummed a please affirmative to Caleb.
“Good, would you like me to call fetch Yasha for you?”
Yes. He missed her terribly, it felt like it was just yesterday that he had been terrified about how she was because she had been taken from him by slavers. But he still wasn’t quite ready to confront that.
“In a bit, stay with me?” Molly couldn’t read Caleb’s expression, it was a mixture of surprise and warmth. He didn’t say anything, but followed him to sit on the edge of the ridiculous bed. Caleb seemed to be looking to Molly for clues of what to do, so Molly sat close and rested his cheek on the wizard's shoulder. When he didn't flinch, or stiffen like Molly would have expected, he took it as a sign that this was ok. His tail wrapped lazily around Caleb’s ankle, and he drew little patterns on Molly’s knee. They stayed like that for only gods know how long, in comfortable silence, letting the tiefling clear out his mind from all the clutter and noise the day brought. He was beginning to feel like he could maybe, possibly, start process the day’s emotions.
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Devil’s Advocate (Reid Request)
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Request: Spencer and reader have been fuck buddies for a few months but it's been purely physical. (A defense lawyer?) Every time he up and leaves after sex she feels like shit & one day she gets hurt/scared so she calls Spencer on instinct- He shows up, fluff+epiphany+confession
A/N: I’ve had this request for so long and I’m finally happy with what I have! I will add my taglist once this post shows up in tags :) Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Comfort/Fluff, RATED T Content Warning: References to sex, sexual relationship, harassment, violence against Reader (not graphic), bruising, mutual pining, very brief mentions of losing children/family and murder/death Word Count: 4.3k
MASTERLIST
—————————————————
Rules are fickle, funny things. I’ve always been interested in them. From the laws that I built my career on, to the social traditions that ensure I’m never appropriately compensated for said work, I’ve studied and defied pretty much every rule I’ve ever encountered.
All but one. In the grand scheme of things, it probably wouldn’t seem like a very important rule. In fact, it’s exactly the type of rule that they write about breaking in romantic comedies and cheesy teenage magazines.
It was a semi-self-imposed rule of sorts. A mutual agreement reached between two people that came to a respectful understanding following one too many failed attempts at happiness. It should have been a simple rule to follow.
Don’t fall in love with Spencer Reid.
In retrospect, I should’ve known that things would be different when we weren’t stuck on opposite sides of the courtroom bench. I didn’t really realize the magnitude of my mistake until it was two hours past midnight, and I was watching Spencer struggle to stay upright with one foot in his pants leg.
“What are you doing?” I groaned through my inevitable laughter.
“As much as you don’t mind me without pants,” he explained matter-of-factly, right before nearly escaping busting his ass on my bedroom floor, “I think the general public prefers me with them on.”
“Only because they don’t know better,” I countered. I’d deemed myself the winner of the exchange all the way up until he flashed me that damned smile that always broke me down.  
“You’re cute,” was all he’d had to say, and I had lost. The butterflies erupting in my stomach cheered his name, and I tried to drown out the sound by clearing my throat that felt full with my heartbeat.
“Seriously though, Spencer, just stay here tonight. It’s 2AM.”
“You know the rules.”
My least favorite sentence.
“Fuck the rules!” I whined, earning a smile from the man who still continued to prepare his exit. “I can’t sleep with you if you die after you fall asleep at the wheel!”
He cleverly dodged the topic with a playfulness that never failed to make me smile. Abandoning his efforts to leave, Spencer took a long pause to approach me again. He leaned over my naked figure only barely covered by the sheet and said in that low, silky tone, “I never thought I’d hear a lawyer telling me to ‘fuck the rules.’”
“Well, you’ve already fucked me, so...” I tried to joke without giving away just how much his proximity affected me. It didn’t work.
“Is that what this is about?” he asked while continuing to tower over me. The closer he leaned in, the more his unruly curls tickled my face. The squirming it induced seemed to only encourage his teasing, because he sounded positively delighted as he purred, “Did I not wear you out enough? Are you unsatisfied, sweetheart?”
“Stop it. I’m worried about you!” I answered with a firm smack on his shoulder. It did nothing to dissuade him. Despite being the one to remind me of the rules just seconds before, he didn’t seem to mind breaking them by littering my jaw and neck with kisses that were filled with far too much adoration.
“My concern for you is not me breaking the rules. It’s me being a decent human being,” I defended, while struggling to pull him and his distracting affections away. When that didn’t work, I resorted to allowing the giggles to do it for me as I screeched, “Cut it out!”
He finally stopped, albeit with an adorable, cheeky little grin.
I needed some way to regain the upper hand. To demonstrate to the both of us that I wasn’t the only one who’d started to lose sight of the deal we’d struck in the first place.
“Speaking of rules — why do you get away with calling me sweetheart? We said no pet names.”
Like the clever boy he was, he had already anticipated the answer and his reply. It was simple, but effective.
“Because you like it,” he teased.  
I like you, I corrected, to myself. That was a terrifying enough thought to convince me that he’d been right to leave. No matter how badly I hadn’t wanted him to.
“Will you at least text me when you get home?” I asked, unworried about the vulnerability in the request because the need to have explicit knowledge of his safety meant more to me than any potential humiliation that might follow.
But knowing that didn’t make it hurt any less when he shrugged.
“Yeah, if I remember before I fall asleep.”
If I remember, said the man with an eidetic memory.
I don’t think he’d meant it to be a taunt, but that’s exactly what it felt like. A firm reminder that he’d forget me by the time he finished the short drive to his apartment. That it was so fucking simple for him to shake the memory of me from his mind, no matter how beautiful I tried to make them.
“Goodnight, Spencer,” I said with as much false stoicism as I could muster.
“Goodnight, sweetheart.”
Maybe it was nothing but foolish hoping, but it almost felt like he was doing the same.  
—————————————————
There was nothing quite like a phone call in the dead of the night to remind you that you were hopelessly falling for your hookup. Every single time my damned phone rang past 10:00PM, I would attempt to answer the phone so enthusiastically, that half the time, I’d drop it.
That time the call came in at midnight, and I felt my hopes rising like steam from a kettle. Somehow, I managed to drop my register from the high-pitched squealing I’d kept bottled up inside.
“Hey Spencer, I was wondering if I’d hear from you this week.”
I’d expected him to say many things — really, he was a hard one to predict — but I had never expected the childlike excitement that burst through the receiver.
“You’ll never guess what I found!”
“... What?” It was as much an expression of confusion as it was a genuine question, although he hadn’t seemed to catch the former.
“I found that first edition copy of the manuscript I was telling you about!”
“Oh! You’ve been looking for that for months!”
“I know! I just heard back from the archivist and he said I can come look at it next month,” he squealed, and my heart started to melt at the sound.
He really was just too goddamn cute.
“Wow, that’s really cool, Spencer,” I giggled. While he should have probably been unnerved by the sound in response to his genuine enthusiasm, he was still a little bit distracted.
“Do you want to come? You mentioned you were interested in it before.”
Finding that the answer ‘absolutely not, that sounds so dry’ was just a bit too rude, I squeaked back a hesitant, “Did I?” instead. I could already hear his disappointment over the phone, so I quickly followed up with a much more enthusiastic, “I-I’m not sure. We’ll have to see what my caseload is like then.”
The silence, although remarkably brief despite the company I’d chosen, stirred some unsettled feeling in my stomach. I found myself rearranging plans and dates in my head, trying to find some way to promise my time to him over a month in advance. I barely stopped myself in time. With a firm metaphorical slap on the wrist, I brought the conversation back to where it should have been.
Spencer Reid wasn’t my boyfriend, and he wasn’t entitled to my time. We had a system. There were rules for a reason.
“Anyway, when are you coming over? Should I unlock the door for you?”
That time, I wasn’t the one breaking an awkward silence.
“Oh. I’m actually... not coming over.”      
To hide the heartbreak with an uncomfortable laugh, I muttered through the side of my mouth, “Why not? Was it something I said?”
“I’m in California. Sorry, I didn’t think about the time difference,” he answered a bit too nonchalantly for my comfort.
Speaking of comfort, there was a disconcerting implication to the phone call if it hadn’t been for any of our usual trysts. The silence stretched on, carrying a heavy, anxious energy with it.
“Then why did you call me?” I finally asked.
“I don’t know. I thought you might be interested and I wanted to share the news,” he explained. I could practically see him shrugging as he grumbled, “Pretty sure everyone else would just make fun of me for getting excited about a stack of old papers.”
The grumpy, insecure little boy in him always made me laugh. Too easy to tease, he was.
“I was planning on doing that, too, for the record,” I sarcastically hummed to the tune of his laughter bubbling over from thousands of miles away.  
“I expect nothing less.”
The next silence was more comfortable, but in a way that still mostly hurt. After all, it was a reminder that as soon as the phone call ended — which it should have done by now — we would both be alone again, even if we wished we weren’t.
“Okay, well... if that’s all,” I sighed. Tearing the band-aid off so that I could go lick my metaphorical wounds.
Spencer, on the other hand, didn’t seem nearly as heartbroken by the suggested absence.
“Right! It’s late there,” he chirped. Then, before I could get a word in edgewise, he cheekily called, “Goodnight, sweetheart.”
And even though I shouldn’t have, I smiled.
—————————————————
There is no time quite like an emergency to realize that you have no friends. To have that realization to be paired with the sounding of sirens and the bitter taste of iron and regret.
I scrolled through my entire contact history three times over before I gave up and hit the one name that I knew I shouldn’t call. Then, upon remembering that I was a blubbering mess, I immediately hung up and sent a text instead.
“Do you think you could come pick me up from the marketplace?”
Seconds later, his name lit up my screen in a call that was rejected before the first ring finished.
“I’m fine. I just need a ride. I’ll explain when you get here,” I sent in response.
“On my way,” he answered before the screen had even started to dim.
I knew he was angry, but I was too tired to deal with it. There were so many justifiable reasons for his temper. Reasons he should be angry. I wasn’t supposed to text him for things like this. We weren’t friends. I definitely shouldn’t call him unprompted, or without a detailed explanation. We’d made rules, and I’d always been the stickler for following them.
But when Spencer showed up, his anger didn’t seem directed at me in the slightest. He hardly looked angry at all when he saw me, despite his eyes shooting wide open as he bolted through the small crowd of people to join me on the curb of the parking lot median.
“Hey, are you alright?” he yelled, even when he was close enough to whisper. When I flinched from the sound, he dropped his volume significantly, but the worry remained. “What the hell happened?”
It made my stomach sink.
“It’s nothing,” I muttered, continuing to cover the swollen side of my face with my hand. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I called you. It’s seriously nothing.”
Spencer’s flabbergasted scoff would’ve been funny if not for the disaster in the background.
“Nothing?! Your windshield is smashed and you have a bloody lip, that’s not nothing at all. That is very much something!”
“Calm down. I’m fine.”
“We have very different understandings of the word ‘fine,’” he snapped. That time, I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Ugh. I know.”
Behind him, though, reality came calling. The officer who had gone to grab a new pen had returned to bother me some more, and as much as I wanted Spencer to stay, I knew it was a bad idea. It wasn’t that I was going to lie, or that he would be hostile to the investigation. I was just… ashamed. Of what, I wasn’t exactly sure. I hadn’t done anything wrong. Other than be a defense attorney, that was.
“Can you give me a second to finish answering this gentleman’s questions?” I asked, gesturing to the cop who was probably just as happy to see me suffering as the person who’d punched me in the first place.
Spencer turned away from me, but I saw the disgust on his face clear as day. He glanced over at my car again, too, but that sight just made him sad.
“Fine,” he conceded with a surprising amount of grace, “But I’m giving you a ride home.”
“Fine! Go wait in the car then.”
The poor man sulked and grumbled the whole way. Every few steps, he would look back at me over his shoulder, checking to make sure that I was watching him. I suspect if I’d given him any leeway, he would have been back at my side in a matter of seconds.
But I didn’t want him to be here. I had called him, yes, but I was halfway hoping that I would’ve been able to avoid this scene altogether. I’d wanted to just flee the scene of my own humiliation and let my insurance work the rest out.
I hadn’t done anything wrong, but the cop’s questions didn’t make me feel that way. When he asked me what I’d done to provoke the seemingly normal, respectable man, I had to tell him the truth.
I’d defended the man who he thought murdered his children, and he was acquitted last week. That was all it was. An understandable anger. A justifiable rage. Grief knew no bounds, and when it came to laying blame, I was an easy target.
I couldn’t blame him. I’d hate me, too.
That was why I didn’t fight or argue the claims. I made it my mission to sound as unbothered as possible, and to go through the motions in a way that would put the matter to rest. I could just buy a new windshield. My lip would mend itself and the world would be better now that some catharsis was reached.
When I climbed into Spencer’s car, the last thing I’d expected was more negativity.
“What are you doing?”
Only halfway into the vehicle, I froze as I mumbled, “Uh... accepting your offer for a ride home?”
“You shouldn’t be done yet,” he explained.
“Oh, right. That.”
It cleared up enough of my concerns that I didn’t feel worried when I took my seat. The man next to me, however, seemed increasingly concerned. Especially when he got the proper answer he was looking for.
“I didn’t press charges.”
“What do you mean you didn’t press charges?!”
I’d been expecting it, but still had to cover my ears as his shouting echoed in the car. He seemed to regret making my headache worse, but I knew it wasn’t his fault.
He always worried about me too much.
“They already buried both of their children,” I said with a sigh, “I think they’ve lost enough.”
I should’ve known better than to expect him to take their side. Still, I saw the struggle in every part of him. He shifted back and forth in his seat almost like he was actively debating himself in his head.
“That wasn’t your fault,” he announced when he’d finally come to his conclusion. It was a sweet sentiment, but we’d both already known that to be true.
“Yeah, I know, but it’s a lot easier to blame me than accept that they’re gone.”
But when Spencer looked at me again, with those goddamn eyes filled with nothing but admiration and tenderness, I broke. For the first time since it happened, I broke down in tears that only stung more in his company.
“This was so stupid,” I said between sobs, “I shouldn’t have tried to talk to them. I should have just left. I’m sorry.”
The world felt like it was crumbling to pieces around me, but Spencer remained. His hand pulled one of mine away from my face so that he could keep me tethered to him. The harder I squeezed, the softer his voice became. I could barely hear him over the sound of sniffling and weeping that had been kept bottled up for too long.
But the longer I heard him, the more I started to believe him.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
That made me laugh. A short, bitter chuckle that was closer to a scoff. I looked at him with tired, red-rimmed eyes as I so politely reminded him, “I am literally the devil’s advocate.”
But then he asked me a question I still hadn’t expected. “Do you think he did it?”
It seemed like such a ridiculous question to ask me at that moment that I didn’t even know how to answer. But then he asked again, with more force behind the words begging for an answer.
“Your client. Do you think he was guilty?”
“I know he wasn’t,” I said without thinking. Then, I backtracked, smoothing out my hair and trying to pretend like I wasn’t having a breakdown in my fuckbuddy’s car. Trying to muster up some facade of dignity for his sake when I corrected, “I mean, I can never really know, but the evidence really didn’t add up and when he looked me in the eyes, I saw…”
The thought couldn’t continue the way I’d wanted it to. Not when I looked over to the man beside me and saw the exact same look I was trying to put into words. I saw the suffering of a man not believed. I saw someone facing charges and accusations he wasn’t able to remember but knew himself incapable of.
When I’d looked at my client, I saw Spencer. I saw him fighting to reclaim his own mind and his hands that were forever scarred by the memory of evil he’d never be entirely sure he hadn’t committed.
“What did you see?” he asked, but he already knew the answer.
“I could never believe he did the things they said he did.”
There was a gentle, almost imperceptible quirk to the corner of his lips as he whispered, “Then you aren’t working for the devil, (y/n).”
He must’ve seen the disbelief in my eyes, because he continued to speak with an increasing level of spirit, “You are surrounded by evil all the time. You walk into it knowing what is going to happen, but unlike me you... You aren’t trying to hunt them. You protect people. Even the worst people, just in case there is still good somewhere in them.”
Just like always, his hands became clumsier the longer he spoke. He spoke passionately and with his whole body. He pulled my hands to his chest and pressed my palm against his heart like it was trying to tell me something, too.
But then he looked into my eyes, and everything else faded away.
“You aren’t working for the devil,” he said in a tone so genuine I was forced to believe him. “If anything, the devil should be very scared of you.”
And I did believe him. I believed that when he looked at me, he saw something I couldn’t. Something admirable and worthy of kindness. That was enough to help me survive the relatively quiet car trip back to my apartment.
Spencer kept my hand in his the whole ride, and neither of made any mention of it. His thumb drew delicate patterns over my hand until it finally stopped shaking from the adrenaline. Until I knew that I was safe.
But then we were back in my apartment, and I knew he had to leave. There was no reason to justify him staying. We both knew I wouldn’t want to have sex in my current state, and that was our rule.
He had nothing else to gain from sitting with me while I cried.
“I’m gonna go... wash my face. You don’t have to wait up,” I said with an awkward half-wave. I waited until I was out of his sight before I called, “Thanks for the ride.”
He didn’t answer. I knew that it was better that way.
I didn’t cry as I got ready for bed, even when the soap and alcohol stung my split lip. I looked at the mottled colors of my skin where the man’s fist had made contact and I cringed. It suddenly made more sense to me why Spencer was worried. You’d have to be a psychopath not to be concerned with the sight.
I’d almost managed to convince myself that his responses that evening had been nothing more than the level of sympathetic understanding he would’ve had for a stranger in the same situation.
But then I rounded the corner back into my living room, and I saw that he’d barely moved.
“Oh... you’re still here,” I started, only to be swiftly cut off by a question asked with an astounding amount of confidence.  
“Can I stay here tonight?”
My answer was significantly less sure.
“Is this a trick question?”
“No, it’s not,” he said, then immediately repeated, “Can I stay here tonight? With you?”
Convinced it was a trick despite his assurance to the contrary, I questioned back, “Why?”
In what was emerging as a rather frustrating pattern, Spencer returned with yet another question.
“Why did you call me?”
“I-I could ask you the same question,” I stammered. The insecurity was bleeding through, and I tried and failed at putting on a convincing show of advocacy. I laughed uncomfortably, speaking words I knew were digging me a hole I’d rather not lie in. I couldn’t stop myself.
“But you won’t answer, either. Because that would break the rules, and you’re too good for that.”
Spencer bit down on his lip hard enough that his jaw and nose twitched from the pain inflicted. He turned to me with enough resolve to demolish the walls I’d so carefully built between us with just one glance. A glance that turned into a battle of wills.
Then he did something I would have never predicted.
Spencer Reid raised a white flag.
“I called you because I wanted to hear your voice. I got good news during a horrible day and I knew that if I could make you laugh... if I could hear that, everything would be better.”
Time seemed to stop and stretch on forever. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears that still rang from the sirens. I heard the ticking of the clock on the wall to remind me that I wasn’t in a dream.
“Was it?” I asked quietly, “Better?”
His lips remained flat and his eyes distant, but he still provided an answer filled with so much tenderness that it made my whole body ache.
“Yes,” he said. “It always is when I’m with you.”
I wanted to give him the same feeling of being seen. Understood and cared for. I wanted to tell him exactly how I felt, but when I tried, my throat closed in on itself.
“I called you because—“
As I choked on the words, I saw him suffer the pain. I saw him be wounded by every second that I was too afraid to tell him how I’d felt. Especially after he’d done the hardest part for us already.
I had to try. For him.
“Because when I’m with you I feel safe,” I blurted out all at once, “I feel safe, and happy, and...”
But the word I was too terrified to say came out of his mouth with just as much fear but none of the doubt that it hadn’t been true.
“Loved,” he said, “You feel loved.”
I hadn’t noticed that I’d started to cry, but it made sense. The only thing more painful than the vulnerability was the tenderness with which his thumb caught the tear against my cheek. He didn’t remove his hand, either. He kept it there, cradling my face and forcing me to watch the way he never stopped looking at me like I was the answer to everything.
“Am I wrong?” I asked.
“No, you’re not,” he whispered from just far enough away that I could feel his lips brush over mine. My lungs filled with a sharp breath that seemed necessary to stop my heart from failing under all the overwhelming emotion.
Spencer kissed me, not as a segue or preparation for heartbreak. He kissed me with his heart on his sleeve and desperate hands pulling me closer. Our faces both wet with tears that felt like rain following after a decade long drought.
He kissed me, and it felt like a miracle or a fantasy that I’d thought I would never be able to have.
When he stopped, it didn’t feel like a loss. It felt like a newfound understanding of love — of being with someone no matter how far away they might go.
But Spencer didn’t want to go anywhere. Not yet.
“So... can I stay here tonight?” he asked again, happy with his attempts to sweeten the pot enough to convince me to break at least one rule for now.
“Yes, please,” I said through a smile.
Some rules were just made to be broken.
—————————————————
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iroxanamiranda · 6 hours ago
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*peeks head out in the open, awkwardly waves* uhm hey!
tldr; I feel better now, things irl got kinda mmm hard? Overwhelming?? but i have picked up my peace!!! AND don't worry i am fine
tw// depression, suicide, death over all
Uhm so this is a more detailed explanation but please be aware I will talk about death, depression and suicide and while i don't go in depth i don't want to trigger anyone so please!! Just know that I'm okay now!!! And no, i didn't attempt to do it, its not me!! Don't worry!!! Okay now i got that out of the way uhhhh so, tbh classes have been very idk unmotivating??? And this unit is the shortest one and May is always very overwhelming for me to begin with so I was already feeling kinda bad for that, then my country and literally all Latinoamérica going to hell it was very sad and my mind was well overwhelmed!!! And its just so:') i was on class on Wednesday when i got a text from an old highschool friend and i was like ??? Hello? And it turned out a friend had killed themselves and I was in shock like my forst instinct was to think it was a very messed up prank but then i ofc logged out of class and told my brother and if I'm honest i kept crying the whole day, my eyes were puffy and it hurt, my headache was a bitch and idk it was just so surreal??, i still had to break the news to other friends and it was horrible, the funeral was that same day and well i attended and idk i stil can't believe what happened in a way, its very surreal:') So yeah i took a few days without phone bc everything remembered me of them and it was like a pandora's box opened inside me with memories with them. idkw I'm even posting this, but yeah... in a way i still feel guilty i never noticed and that i never reached to my friend, i had no idea they were depressed you know? Idk it was horrible, but i do hope they are feeling better and to know I will always miss and love them. They're sister too and mother. So yeah, I mean I'm trying to get back to normal? In a way so i will probably be lurking around!! I hope this is a reference for future me, and i hope she's doing fine and still thinking and keeping in my heart our friend. Also s/o to you if you did take the time to read this 💗 Thank you for caring 💗💗💗
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offortis · 7 hours ago
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Look who just woke up- is that KATHRYN NEWTON? No, I must have been mistaken, that’s STEPHANIE BROWN from DC. I heard she is 24 and stuck here just like everyone else. Even in the 20’s, they still give off a PURPLE BAT DOODLES IN NOTEBOOKS, A PIANO COVERED IN DUST, LOUD INNER MONOLOGUES impression. They’re known to be quite OPTIMISTIC, but have a tendency to be IMPULSIVE on their bad days.
Gender/Pronouns
Cis female, she/her pronouns
How long have they been in Sydney?
Stephanie has been here for a year now, and she had no memories of her real life at first. They slowly came to her in the form of nightmares over time.
Job
Steph works as a nurse and also does some private piano lessons on the side for kids.
Which suburb do they live in?
She lives in King’s Cross where she rents a small apartment, part of her always wanted to be close to the darker side of town in order to stop whatever she could.
Memories of their real life :
It took months for Steph to realize her nightmares were actually real memories after just seeing flashes of horrifying clowns, a long-haired blonde man in orange, and a man with a black skull mask on. Now that she does remember everything, she feels guilty for wishing she never got her memories back at all. Or at least, not the ones of all the trauma. She finally remembers her entire journey in Gotham from making her own Spoiler suit in order to stop her criminal father, to working with Batman and Robin, to becoming Robin herself and finally feeling like she was accepted. Then the memories of her near-death experience came up, her return to Gotham, and her upgrade to Batgirl despite all those who told her she wasn’t good enough. The main thing that makes her wish she could go back to her real life is to make sure the daughter she gave up at 15 is still being taken care of.
What was their fake life like?
Stephanie’s fake life was like the dream she’d always wished for as a child. She had two wonderful, loving parents who cared about her and had honest jobs, she grew up in a modest house where she didn’t have to worry about criminals storming in, and she actually had friends who cared about her. It was the type of hazy dream life that could tempt anyone to let go of reality. 
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baroness-zemo · 7 hours ago
plss i just read your fic about zemo being the father figure of the reader and it maked me smile so hard! Can i request another father figure fic, about the reader who is like 17 and is crying because she is missing Tony, Natasha and vision and he's like conforting the reader and gives her something to drink and he's like: here chocolate milk always calmed my son, because i need dad Zemo in my life
Have a nice dayy :)))))
A little Bit of Comfort (Platonic! Zemo x Reader)
Summary: You miss Tony, Natasha, and Vision terribly. Their deaths hit you hard, and so you find yourself crying over them one night. However, Zemo comes to comfort you.
Word Count: 898
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Grief was something everyone in life went through. As much as you hated it, it was a part of life. And yet, knowing that didn’t make you feel any better.
You were young, only 17, but despite that, you had been apart of the Avengers. Now, you didn’t have any fancy powers, but you were quite smart and resourceful, which is why you were on the team. Tony had recruited you, so you often found yourself in the lab with either him or Bruce.
During your time on the team, you grew close to everyone. They all seen you as a sort of kid-sister, and were fiercely protective of you. After missions, you’d always be at the tower, waiting with a smile to ask questions. If it was anyone else, they would’ve been annoyed, but it was you, and you always looked so happy and interested when they told you about their missions.
That’s why the deaths of Tony, Natasha, & Vision hit you so hard. The Avengers weren’t a team at that time, but you still kept in contact with them all. They were the closest thing you had to a family, and you loved them. But you never got to say goodbye.
Happy is the one who came and told you they died. You had screamed and cried, and Happy had hugged you as tight as possible, hating to see you hurting like that.
Nowadays, even though time has passed, you still grieved for them. You find yourself thinking often that maybe, if you only got to say goodbye, get some closure, it would help you feel better, help you move on. But you knew nothing would truly help.
Most of the time, you tried to distract yourself, which is how you found yourself in your current situation. In Helmut Zemo’s safe house in Riga, with Zemo, Bucky and Sam.
In all honesty, you weren’t quite sure how you ended up here, but you weren’t complaining.
At first, you had been rude to Zemo, knowing he was the reason the Avengers broke up, but after being around him and talking, you started to kinda feel bad. He actually wasn’t terrible, which shocked you. He was actually kind of nice.
But you weren’t thinking about that. No, right now, it was the middle of the night, and you were alone in the guest bedroom with only your thoughts. You really did miss them all. You should’ve been asleep, tomorrow would be a busy day, but it was hard to sleep when you were crying your eyes out.
It felt as though you couldn’t breath, sadness a vice grip around your throat, and your heart felt like it genuinely hurt.
Although you thought your sobs and whimpers were quite, apparently they weren’t quite enough. Your door opened slowly, and there stood Zemo with a sympathetic look on his face.
You wiped your eyes, “I’m sorry if I woke you up.” You voice was broken, sad, and scratchy.
Zemo shook his head, “Not to worry, I was already awake. I heard you crying and thought I may know a way to make you feel better.”
He came over and it was then you noticed the cup in his hand. He handed it to you and you took it, raising an eyebrow. “Chocolate milk?”
He chuckled at your confused expression and gestured to the empty spot on the bed next to you, “May I?”
When you nodded, he sat down. “Anytime my son would cry, whether it was due to a cut or scrape, or a bad dream, chocolate milk always calmed him down. I’m not sure why, but I hoped it could help you.”
You smiled, and Zemo grabbed a box of tissues from the bedside table. He let you grab a few and you wiped your face once again. As you took a sip of your drink, he asked you, “Why were you crying?”
You debated whether you should tell him or not, but decided it couldn’t hurt if you did. “I miss Tony, Natasha, and Vision,” you sniffed, “Their deaths hit me hard, a-and I know they happened awhile ago, and I should be over it by now, but,”
“But the wound still feels fresh?” He finished for you.
You nodded and he sighed, “It is understandable, we all heal at our own pace, so don’t feel as though you should be over it. My family’s deaths were years ago, and yet sometimes I still tear up, missing them.”
“So it doesn’t get better?”
“It does. Eventually, you will be able to think of the memories and not hurt as bad. But you will always miss them, I’m afraid.”
It was silent for a few moments after that, a comfortable silence however. “Thank you, Zemo. It’s nice to talk to someone about this.”
“I know you most likely still hold a little negativity towards me, but speaking from personal experience, grieving by yourself is a terrible feeling. So anytime you need to talk, I will listen.”
By now your cup was empty, sat on the nightstand, and he noticed. Zemo stood and grabbed the empty dish, “It is late, you should try to get some rest.”
And with that, he left. You felt exhausted suddenly, all the crying had drained your energy. Laying down in the bed, you wrapped the blankets around your body and fell asleep.
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yourneighborbakugou · 8 hours ago
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To Love's End, Part 4
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Read Part One / Part Two / Part Three Summary: When love isn’t enough to mold fate together. Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader Warning: angst, mentions of death Word Count: ~5.1k Playlist: The time we spent by Jordy Quirkless AU! Feudal Japan AU! A/N: Life has been really hectic so getting this chapter out took wayyyyyyy longer than I thought. This chapter was already drafted two months ago and I couldn't find the motivation to read through it for errors until now. We’re about half way through the story! Woot! Woot! Thank you, as always, for being patient with me. Thank you for reading my work and supporting me. I hope you enjoy it!
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The fog is dense in the south countryside of Japan. The harsh breeze from sea flows through the small village at the edge of town. Deku stares out at sea as he recalls the last conversation he had with Dabi before his death. 
After a long day of recruiting members to their rebellion against King Sasaki, Deku and Dabi visit the local Izakayas (pub/tavern) to relax. Over gyoza and sake, Deku praises Dabi on a successful recruitment day. It was satisfying to see people come to the realization that Saski was unworthy of being King. They toast and drink multiple rounds of sake before Dabi placed a hand on Deku’s shoulder. 
“You have potential, kid. Don’t let fools deter you from your path.” Dabi says, taking a gulp from his cup of sake. 
Deku angrily chugs his sake and nods knowing exactly what he meant. If there’s one thing he knows about Dabi, it’s seeking revenge on those who’ve hurt you the most. 
Memories sprint in his head of his younger self running for his life through the forest. Screams and the fire raging behind him motivated him to keep moving forward. 
“Don’t look back. Keep going until you're safe--promise me Izuku.” his mothers words echo in repeat. 
Before Deku has the chance to reflect more, his trance is broken when he spots soldiers approaching in the distance--Tomura. Deku swiftly tucks the painful memory back into its safebox but he doesn't lock it. There was an important message Dabi shared that night that he needs to think on.
Tomura has never been good news to Deku. Ever since he joined the rebellion Tomura always had something against him. Deku didn’t come from a rich family and was instead chosen by hand by Dabi. Deku wondered if that was the reason. 
“Deku. Such a distasteful name.” Tomura says with self-satisfaction of his mocking. “Funny seeing you out here. Shouldn’t you be on your way to kill Bakugou?”
Deku bites his tongue knowing all too well that bickering with Tomura wasn’t a good choice. 
“Don’t worry. I’m just here to do my job--kill you if you don’t kill Bakugou.” Tomura grins evilly. 
Tomura tosses Deku a wrapped cloth before turning to leave.
“That should be enough for one try. I’ll be watching.”
Deku grips the wrapped cloth in his hand tighter. He’d expect his job to be tough but getting only one shot to kill Bakugou? Could he do it? 
Deku fights the thoughts in his head as he watches Tomura go out of sight. Deku has always watched Bakugou from afar since they were not on the same path. He wished he could’ve done more for Bakugou to show King Sasaki’s true colors before things had gotten so ugly. 
Throwing his cloak over his shoulders, he walks to his horse, One. 
“Ready, One.” Deku leans his forehead on One. One neighs in response and as the sun rises in the distance, Deku is off towards the north.  
Passing through the towns, Deku only makes necessary stops to sleep or eat. Yueei was at least a day’s ride. Late afternoon, Deku finds himself walking One through a village, passing through the market. Night was falling soon and stalls were beginning to close. Passing a stall that sold fruits, Deku stops in front of the woven basket that had fresh apples--50 yen, the sign says. 
“Would you like one, son?” An old woman speaks to him from behind the stall. “I’m closing shop and it’d be a shame for those to go to waste.”
Deku smiles and takes an apple in hand. Before the old women could protest, he left 1,000 yen behind. 
“Young man, your change!” The old woman yells from her stall. Deku continued forward with One, taking a bite into his apple. Apple has always been his favorite as a kid. Memories of him and Bakugou as kids walking between trees to pick apples with their mothers causes Deku to frown. 
Bakugou.  
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In the late night, a shadow cautiously roams Yueei palace, making their way through the empty clearings and corridors, escaping the eyes of the palace guards. The figure slowly approached a room and crouched by the sliding door. They slid a white paper through the crack and waited. After a few seconds, a gold paper slides through and the figure quickly hides in their kimono.
“Don’t fail me.” a lady spoke in a low voice.
The shadow nods before vanishing into the night. 
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KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
“My lady!” You call from outside Ibara’s chambers. When she doesn’t respond a second time, you make your way inside only to find Ibara hunched over her kotatsu. She’s mumbling about something you can’t hear and when she lifts her head to look at you, the bag under her eyes tells you she’s been crying. Her eyes were puffy and nose was all red. Carefully navigating the conversation, you asked Ibara what happened and she explained. 
She and Kirishima were supposed to meet for breakfast at their favorite spot in the palace but he never showed up. It wasn’t like him to not tell her if he couldn’t make it. Ibara waited over 2 hours and the food she cooked herself with Urakaka’s help went cold. What makes it worse is that it rained that morning and Ibara still waited. She continues to tell you Kirishima hasn't gone to see her or send her flowers/messages like he used to. Ibara was devastated. You nod in response to let her know you understood her. 
“Y/N, can I ask you something?” Ibara looks at you with sadden eyes. “And please don’t lie to me.” 
You take her hands in yours, hoping it will bring some resolve to her pain. Ibara lowers her gaze and nods, readying herself to ask you the question that was burning in her head since last night. 
“Where were you the other day?”
You look at Ibara confused, unsure of what she meant. 
“Y/N, please tell me where you were.” Ibara pulls your hands towards her lap and shuts her eyes. “Were you with Kirishima?”
“What?! Ibara, no!” You replied without hesitation and quickly shut down any ideas that would associate you with Kirishima. You’ve known since the beginning how much pressure Ibara put on herself to make things work with Kirishima. The truth was that Ibara’s time at the palace was going to be over soon. Her father had requested she go back home to help take care of their family estate. She only had a few months left and time with Kirishima was precious since he wasn’t going to be able to follow her. Knowing all this, the absolute last thing you want to do is jeopardize that for Ibara.
Thinking back to the day in question, you recall that was the morning you were at the wash house when you bumped into Bakugou---Ahhh, of course. You saw Bakugou that morning. That morning, you also knew Camie was looking for him and almost caught you both. She must’ve found out and lied to Ibara about who you were with. Not looking good, Y/N. 
“Camie told me she saw you with him. She said you kissed him.” Ibara spoke again but this time in a low tone you barely heard it. Ibara turned away from you, hurt that you may have actually done what Camie told her. “She also said she saw you with him in his room.”
“Ibara, I would never do that to you. Please, believe me.” You reach for Ibara’s hands, desperate to make things right. 
“So Camie is a liar? Is that what you’re saying?” Ibara swats your hands away before getting up towards the door. “I know Camie wouldn’t lie to me. How could you do this to me Y/N? You know how much I like Eijirou.”
Tears were now streaming down Ibara’s cheeks.
“I want you to leave. You can tell the housekeeper I don’t need you for a few days.” Ibara opens the sliding door and keeps her gaze low. “Please leave me alone.”
You know Ibara well, she’s made up her mind and nothing you say right now was going to work. Instead, you stand, take a bow and leave the room. Ibara closes the door behind you, leaving you standing there alone in the hallway listening to the soft cries from within her room. You pinch the space between your eyes to relieve the tension that was forming there.
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The sound of swords clashing and grunts echo throughout the palace training grounds. Soldiers in the dozens are gathered around, training with one another. 
“Man, I’ve missed the musty smell of men! The epitome of manliness. Wouldn’t you say so Bakugou?” Kirishima crosses his arms as he and Bakugou enter the training grounds to observe all the men before them. 
SWOOSH
An arrow flies a few centimeters away from Bakugou’s face and he quickly catches it. A non-threatening shot; Bakugou grinned at the audacity of his men. This caught the attention of the men in the training grounds. Gasps of Bakugou’s sharpness turned the roaring training ground into a sudden stillness.
“It’s good to see you haven’t lost your touch.” One of Bakugou’s men, Sero, approached. 
“Of course, extra, you think I’d be beat easily with this damn arrow?” Bakugou says with a shit eating grin.
“It’s good to see you two. We’ve missed you out here.” says another one of his men, Kaminari, who was speaking in a teasing tone.
Bakugou tries to avoid these talks as much as possible but given the circumstances, he lets it slide. His men did save him and Kirishima. After merely saving Kirishima from the grasps of the enemies, Bakugou fainted himself. If it wasn’t for his soldiers bravery, they probably would’ve never made it home. 
Bakugou was pumped to get training and waved his men to leave them alone. It’s been a long time since he’s been able to come out here. Kirishima waves the rest of the men goodbye, following Bakugou to an empty spot in the training grounds. The doctor recommended light work only. Their injuries may not be bleeding anymore but the skin still needs time to heal. The training of choice then? Sparring. 
Both men remove their tops and wrap clothes around their hands and one on their head to move their hair out of the way. Kirishima grinned at Bakugou to cue that he was ready. Both men begin to throw jabs and punches at one another, trying to get a hit in. Bakugou would throw a punch, Kirishima would block. Kirishima would punch and Bakugou would counter. This went back and forth for about an hour before both men fell on the ground trying to catch their breaths.
Ever since they were kids, they’ve trained together to improve their combat skills. Their spar sessions have always been them giving each other 100%. Bakugou didn’t approve of half-ass training and Kirishima appreciated the toughness. It helped him improve his skills when he has an opponent who isn’t going easy on him for the hell of it. Bakugou may be better than him but Kirishima was not far behind. 
“Man, who knew not training for a few weeks would make us so rusty.” Kirishima says in between each breath. 
“Tch, who are you calling rusty.” Bakugou says nudging Kirishima in the arm. 
“Ah--Careful Katsuki. Wound.” Kirishima chuckles at the fact that he felt pain from a tiny nudge. He hears Bakugou not quiet say ‘sorry’ but knew that was what his intention was when he said ‘whatever’. 
“Kirishima?”
Kirishima quickly sits up at the sound of a voice he’s oh to familiar with. Camie enters the training ground, side eyeing the oogley eyes the soldiers were giving her. When Camie sees Kirishima was with Bakugou, her eyes lit up. Stalking over to the men, she smiled at Bakugou, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.  
“Bakugou. I’m so happy to see you’re well enough for training again. I’ve missed seeing you out here on my walk to the study room.” Camie speaks in the sweetest tone.  
Kirishima clears his throat loudly to help Bakugou get out of the situation. “Camie, it’s good to see you too. Were you looking for me?”
“I heard Ibara wasn’t well this morning and wanted to tell you. Though, seeing Bakugou with you makes me extra happy.” Camie says as her eyes flirt with Bakugou despite no return of emotions from him. 
“Why don’t you both join Ibara and I for lunch after training? It’s been awhile since we’ve all had lunch together. Let’s all get along.” 
Kirishima looked at Bakugou and knew he didn’t like the sound of it. But he knew refusing Camie in front of the soldiers would also embarrass her and that’s very unmanly in his books. Kirishima would never allow anyone to be embarrassed around him. 
“Sure, we can do that.”
Bakugou quickly nudged Kirishima and gave him a death stare.
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Half the day has gone by and Ibara was still upset at you since the morning. You’ve tried bringing her food, tried to clean her room, walk her to her studies but got rejected each time. 
Camie has really done it this time in punishing you. Ibara told you she wouldn’t need you which meant one thing--yard work. Plucking the weeds from the flower garden, you dump it into a waste bucket.
“Great job, Y/N. You’ve gone and pissed Camie off.” You say angirlying pulling a weed. “You could be doing easy work in the kitchen with Urakaka and drinking leftover sake.”
Task after task, you do as told--pulling weeds from the garden, cleaning the ponds from debris, disposing yesterday’s scraps for soil for the garden. By the time late afternoon comes, you find your limbs are aching, your back is in pain, and the pad of your feet just wants to rest.
“L/N! Bring water from the well to the wash house.” the housekeeper yells from across the yard. You respond with a ‘Yes, Ma’am” and move quickly to go fetch the water. With two buckets of water in your hands, you move slowly to the wash house. Walking past the great hall you can hear chatter and laughter. You stop by the door for a quick break for your arms, peeking inside. Looks like the court ladies and lords are having lunch. Blonde hair quickly catches your eyes and a smile tugs at the sight of him. 
Bakugou sat across from Kirishima and Ibara while Camie sat next to him. Ibara and Camie were laughing and Kirishima looked happy. Thank gods those two have made up, you thought before your smile disappeared. You caught Bakugou’s subtle smile which made your heart ache. He fit so well with people of noble status. With the reminder that your status is the reason you can’t be with Bakugou, you pick up the buckets and slowly walk away. 
By late afternoon you’re exhausted. You hate that you’ll be repeating this again tomorrow. Grabbing a roll of sushi from the kitchen, you head for a quieter space--the unused keep has always been reliable for situations like this. 
You exhale sharply as you lean your head against the tree. Your first bite of food for the day was satisfying. You quickly eat your food and gulp down water before basking under the shade. Closing your eyes, you listen to the crickets chirping in the distance, allowing yourself to relax. And before you know it you feel asleep.
In the midst of the chatter at his table, Bakugou caught a glimpse of you as you stopped by the door struggling with the pail of water. He chuckled at the sight before thinking of an excuse to leave to help you. When he looked at the door again, you were already gone. 
“Ibara, it’s good to see you and Kirishima together.” Camie taunts, knowing full well about the lie she told yesterday. “You two are really the perfect pair.”
“You’re too kind, Camie. We don’t look as great as you and Bakugou.” Ibara giggles as the sake they’ve been drinking starts to settle in her body. 
“Ibara, you don’t look so well. Should I call L/N to help take you to your room?” Kirishima holds Ibara by the waist as she becomes unbalanced in her seat. 
“No!” Ibara protested eagerly. The last person she wants to see right now is the person trying to steal her man. “Won’t you take me, Eijirou?” 
Kirishima turns red hearing Ibara call him by his first name in public. It’s not long before Kirishima is helping Ibara out of her seat. Bakugou and Camie waved them goodbye as they walked off down the corridor.
“Kat--”
“Don’t call me that.” Bakugou shuts down Camie’s attempt. He remembers the look in your eyes whenever Camie is mentioned and how you think she belongs to him or whatever. He needs to cut the weed before it causes more problems. 
“But you call me by mine. Why can’t I do the same?”
“Its different. You’re a court lady. Look Camie, I don’t want to beat around the bush. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. But I’m sorry I can’t return your feelings.”
“Stop! I don’t want to hear it!” Camie breathes heavily, taking a step back from Bakugou. The sake was starting to set for her now too.
“The Utsushimi family deserves someone more worthy than me. There are lots of suitable lords here at Yueei.”
“But I want you!” Camie peers through her lashes with prickling eyes.
“Even if you push me away, I’ll keep trying!” Camie wipes away her tears before turning to walk away from Bakugou.
Bakugou pinches the space between his eyes as the frustration from dealing with women sets a growing headache for him. It’s not that Bakugou hates Camie. But rather he knows what the lifestyle of being with Camie meant and he was not up for that. Bakugou didn’t fancy the court life at Yueei. He didn’t want royalty or money. He wanted to do a damn good job at his duties before retiring to have a quiet peaceful life. 
He needs to take a walk. 
Bakugou mindlessly strolled through the palace, nodding to a few soldiers he passed, and enjoying the calmness of the late afternoon. His feet took him to the far end of the palace before he knew it. The unused keep he found you after the intruder incident suddenly becomes noticeable. He quietly walks to the keep entrance for the first time since then. Opening one side of the door, the sight of you sleeping against the tree caught him by surprise. He sees the two buckets you were struggling to hold earlier not far either. A big smile finds its place on his lips as he walks to you. 
“Oi.” Bakugou bends down and pokes your shoulders. No response. 
“Overworked yourself again hm?” Bakugou shakes his head. He takes a seat next to you, careful to not disturb you. Seconds later, your head starts to slip forward. Bakugou quickly stops your head with his palm and angles you to rest on his shoulder. In your sleep, you hummed and wiggle in approval. 
Fuck, that was so cute. Bakugou covers his mouth to hide the red tint on his cheeks. He stayed as still as possible to support you.
“Baka.” You spoke in your sleep, drawing Bakugou’s attention. Bakugou raised an eyebrow, wondering who you were calling an idiot. “‘Suki, stay.” 
Bakugou tense at his first name rolling off your lips for the first time. 
THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP
His heart pumps loudly with no ending. Tingly feelings bubble inside him, makes him want to smile all the damn time with you, heart always aching to see your beautiful face--this feeling inside him, it’s been the same since the first time he laid eyes on you. Bakugou doesn’t understand how and why you make him feel this way. All he knows is that he loves it. 
Deep in his thoughts of you, Bakugou also dozed off. 
The afternoon was soon fading into night. The keep remains calm with a slight breeze entering and existing. A leaf flows by and brushes your nose, tickling you awake. You straighten yourself as you yawn.Your arm suddenly brushes a shoulder drawing your attention to the man sleeping next to you. Bakugou begins to stir as well and before you know it you both are looking at one another. 
“Bakugou. What are you doing here?” Flustered, you hide behind your sleeves.
Bakugou clears his throat and turns away from you. He doesn’t want you to see his rosey cheeks. “Was just checking on you.” 
How thoughtful he was. Before you can appreciate his thoughtfulness, your brain betrays you be replaying the hurtful scene you saw earlier that day of Bakugou with Camie.
“Stop overworking yourself.” Bakugou flicks your forehead. 
“Ow!” You pout covering your forehead. All the worries you had suddenly flew out the door.
“I don’t ask for my assignments okay. It’s just my luck today that Ibara is also upset at me so there’s nothing I can do.” 
“Besides, I’m a maid so I do as I’m told.” You lower your head in defeat, fingers curled on your apron. 
“Doesn’t give them the right to bully you.” Bakugou countered. 
“I wish it was that easy.” You scoffed standing up.  
“Who do I need to beat up?” 
“I’d like to keep my job so no thank you.” You chuckled, turning to meet his towering figure. 
“Well they have you sleeping out here in the open by yourself. What if something happens?” He inched closer to you. 
“But nothing happened because you were here.” You smiled big to him. 
You really knew when to be cute to him. Bakugou softened his eyes and smiled back. 
“Look, in a few days all the lord's will be here.” Bakugou starts but you know where this was going. 
“I won’t get in any trouble, promise.” You say bringing your pinky to him. Bakugou brings his pinky to yours to complete the promise. 
“Hey love birds.” Kirishima calls from the keep’s entrance. You both turn to see Kirishima dressed in his best Kimono. “His Majesty calls.”
“Gotta go.” Bakugou spoke softly before letting go to meet Kirishima. You watch them before turning to quietly squealing about the fact that you and Bakugou took a nap together. 
On your walk back to your quarters, you passed the kitchen and inside was Urakaka cleaning up for the day. 
“Any sake tonight?” You peaked through the door and waved. With the way Kirishima was dressed, you figured Lords were gathering which means the big guns were being served tonight. 
“If we get lucky.” Urkaka says as she winked at you. “Thankfully I don’t have to cook the meals tonight, only cleaning. So if there are any leftovers you bet we’re drinking them. For now, we only have tea.”
Urakaka pats the seat next to her at the table for you. 
“I heard things aren’t well with Ibara today.” Urakaka says as she pours you a cup of tea. You wrinkle your brows trying to figure out how she knows. 
“The maids have been talking.” Urakaka takes another sip as you nod in defeat and sip your tea. “Y/N, you know I don’t like butting into your business, but as your friend I feel obligated to say this.”
Urakaka explains that the maids are gossiping at the palace about seeing you and Bakugou together and rumour has it that you’re trying to get Camie jealous. Camie has also been vocal with the maids sprouting lies to them that you were a devious person and for people to be wary of befriending you. Camie even lied that Bakugou loves her and that you were stealing him from her. Maids you’ve known before Camie came to the palace, who you were on good terms with, also started to believe the lies. 
“What bullshit!” You exclaim in anger. “I am not stealing Bakugou from her.”
Urakaka motions you to calm down and to lower your voice. 
“Y/N, I know that but others don’t. The reason I’m telling you all this is because I worry for your well-being at the palace. Rumours like these never end well. Don’t you remember what happened last time with the maid that tried to go against the court ladies? She was found dead at the outskirts of town.”
Urakaka was right. The power court ladies have were truly terrifying. At any given moment you can be disposed of and replaced at Yueei. Thankfully King Sasaki has been kind to his people and ensures all maids who are to be fired or replaced are to be discussed with him first. King Sasaki was much tougher than King Yagi but nonetheless just as righteous. He always did right by his people. 
“Just promise me you’ll be careful?” Urakaka takes your hand in hers. You nod in agreement and give her a gentle squeeze. 
“Urakaka!” The housekeep calls from outside.
“Y/N! Good thing you're here!” The housekeeper enters the kitchen. “Make more tea and help serve it.”
Urakaka quickly helps you boil some tea and you’re soon on your way to help serve the guests. Making your way past the other maids who were walking back, you can’t help but notice the stares from each of them before the whispers began. 
Making your last corner to the hall, a fellow maid purposefully bumps into you,causing you to drop the teapot and burning yourself in the process. You yelp in shock. The maid who bumped into you made no apology. Instead, she looked at you with disgust and turned to walk away. 
Urakaka was right about the maids. With no time to waste dwelling in your sadness, you pick up your shattered teapot, wipe what you could with your apron before making your way back to the kitchen to get more tea. 
Urakaka runs to check on you when she sees your kimono had tea stains and hands were red. You say reassure her you were fine and ask for a new batch of tea. Urakaka nods and turns to busy herself with a new tea batch.
Hold yourself together, you say to yourself, wiping a fallen tear. You throw the wet apron into a bin nearby before grabbing a new apron to put on. The new apron hides just enough of the tea stains on your kimono, making you still presentable. This time, Urakaka comes along to make sure you’re okay. Getting to the great hall, you pause with Urakaka beside you. 
“Are you going to be okay?” She asks and you nod in response. You know Bakugou would be here and that would at least help calm you down. 
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“Why do we have to wear this?” Bakugou groans when Kirishima brings in a flashy orange kimono with a black dragon engraved in the back. 
“We need to look our best tonight. Lord Sorahiko Torino is coming to visit to pay respect to the late King Yagi.” Kirishima helps Bakugou dress since they were already running late. Kirishima had got dressed as fast as he could first and thankfully found Bakugou in the nick of time. 
“Hurry.” Kirishima pulls Bakugou into the corridors and towards the grand hall where a small gathering of lords and samurai had congregated. Entering the room, they both bowed as onlookers stared.
“It’s a great honor to meet you Samurai.” Lord Torino bows as Bakugou and Kirishima approaches. 
“The honor is ours, my lord.” Bakugou returns the bow, Kirishima follows suit. 
King Sasaki motions the group gathered to take a seat at the table as maids began to serve tea. King Sasaki and Lord Torino begin to talk business while the Samurai’s chat aside on their own. Kirishima begins serving the samurai’s sake as they talk. 
Bakugou watches you enter with other maids and frowns at the sight of your condition. He didn’t remember seeing your Kimono stained nor your hand red. He remembers you telling him earlier you’ve been overworked by the housekeeper. 
“Isn’t that right Bakugou?” Kirishima says as he nudged Bakugou to get his attention. One of Torino’s samurai asked about his victory at Wakayama and Kirishima was more than happy to explain in detail how the battle went down. 
Bakugou nods, gulping down his sake, eyes still glued to you as you make your rounds to him. When you get to him, you smile and pour him a cup of tea. Orange suits him well. You thought to yourself when your eyes met him.Before your hand gets too far, Bakugou gently holds your wrist to stop you from leaving. 
“What happened to your hand?” 
You contemplate whether to tell him the truth. What would he do if he found out you were getting bullied by the other maids because of Camie's dislike of your relationship with him? 
“I accidentally spilt tea. Nothing serious.” You lie, quickly pulling away before onlookers notice. You try to walk away but is again stopped when he holds you by your apron. 
“Meet me outside in an hour.” 
You nod at his requests and make your way to serve tea to the rest of the group. Existing the hall, you see Urakaka talking to the housekeeper. 
“Ah, there she is.” Urakaka smiles seeing you returned. “Isn’t that right, Y/N? You said you’ll help me make gyoza tomorrow?”
You hesitate for a second not knowing where she was going with this but nod. Housekeeper agreed to have you help Urakaka tomorrow but insisted she can only let you for a day since the palace needed tending to. 
“Thank you for saving me.” You agonized over the task with Urakaka who only chuckles at your pain.
“I’m happy I’m stuck with kitchen duties. You know, I used to be jealous that you were a court maid.” Urkaka loops her arms in yours as you both make your way back to the kitchen. “But then I hear about your yard duties and boy would I rather wash dishes than pluck weed.” She laughed as she teased you. 
You playfully nudge her in annoyance but grateful to have a friend at the palace. 
“Thank you, Ochako. You’re always saving me when I need it most.” You say, squeezing her arm tighter. 
Night soon fell and you were done for the day. Waving Urakaka goodbye, you decide to head to the only spot you knew Bakugou would go to meet you. Though he didn't say it, you knew what he meant when he said ‘outside’. 
Opening the keep doors, you make your way in and sit down by the tree to wait. Pulling your knees towards you, you hug them in anticipation. 
A creak from the front doors draws your attention and a figure enters.
TO BE CONTINUED......
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Taglist: @cayofdreams @bakugous-mamas @yourlocalbabybird @levimeko
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tara-learns-to-write · 8 hours ago
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Forgotten Thing
@funsized-mimi bestie what about y/n finds out they have a sibling they never knew about (could be older or younger, brother or sister it doesn’t matter)and they find out that that sibling was kidnapped by hydra or something(just like y/n) and they’re being experimented on. the team helps y/n find and save the sibling because peter is like their best friend, tony sees y/n as their own kid also he’s smart and loaded he can help out a lot, and the rest of the team help out because y/n finally found someone from their real family, thank youuu
Hey, bestie :) this helped me out so much so thank you for sending this in! you are way too kind so I hope you enjoy this :) I might do a part 2 at some point, not too sure :)
You loved the family you had found they were kind, thoughtful, and would do anything for you
Just like family should 
Yet every time you felt like you took a step further away from what Hydra did to you, it always felt like something was missing
“Hey little genius, just sleaving you this to tell you how proud we all are of you for going out by yourself! This might not seem big but we understand the challenges you go through so well done we are all so proud” Tony’s voice rang through your headphones. You smiled and turned your music back up as you carried on walking down the uneven streets of New York. You knew this was a big deal and you should feel proud but instead, you just felt like something was missing.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Laughter and cheers echoed off the walls as you blew out the candles on the birthday cake Tony and Steve had insisted they bake you (with the help of Wanda of course). As you felt someone put a party hat on your head and the flash of someone's phone go off all you could think about was how it felt like someone was missing. “Is everyone here?” you asked worry clear on your face “of course sweetie, why? What’s up?” Nat replied with a soft smile “No reason, just felt like someone was for a minute” you laughed it off returning the smile but still that feeling remained.
You know that feeling you get on a Monday morning as you rush to school? The feeling of forgetting something and the daunting feeling that you had lost something?
That’s what you always seemed to feel 
You did talk to people about it 
Mainly your best friend Peter 
“I just always feel like something is missing and that whatever it is, it’s important” peter sat opposite you on your bed watching as your arms flew around animatedly and you ranted about this forgotten thing “maybe your mind is just worrying about helping design the new suits so it’s trying to distract you with this?” you ran your hands through your hair and sighed in frustration “you don’t get it, it’s not started because if the suits it’s always been here, maybe Hydra did something to me, maybe I am just broken”. Peter pulled you into a tight hug as you cried into his shoulder “you’re not broken, I promise”.
One thing the team had been very careful about was missions that included anything even remotely linked to Hydra but when Fury wants to talk about something you don’t really have a choice
That’s not to say that the team didn’t fight for half an hour to be able to stay in the room with you
“Fury you know this is sensitive for them still” Bucky argued from his seat around the conference table, giving Fury a look that even death would shiver at “I am perfectly aware of L/n’s dealings with the topic but this is important and you don’t even know what I’m talking about so I suggest that you stay out it” he bit back turning to Tony who looked like he was either ready to kill someone or go against the director's orders and handcuff himself to you in protest. “If you don’t like the idea of not being with them then what exactly do you suggest I do?” he said with a sigh “Well why don’t you let us stay in the room with them? That way you get to tell them and we can be there if they go crazy” 
Fury ended up agreeing to this
It’s not like they gave him a choice
You just wish you would have been more prepared for what was going to be said
“What exactly is this about?” you asked, shifting from nervously one foot to another as Bruce put a hand on your shoulder in an attempt to soothe your racing mind “You don’t remember much about your time with Hydra do you?” the statement caused the room to tense “apart from the pain, killing, experimenting. No not really” you replied with a hard look ingrained upon your face “At shield we were investigating a suspected Hydra base. It was confirmed to be a base and a base you stayed at nonetheless” he took a breath before continuing “it was also where your brother is currently staying” and suddenly it all made sense. You see what you had left out every time you opened up about your nightmares was the boy who would call out your name at the end of each one. It must have been him, you thought. Your forgotten thing. “How old is he? Is he being experimented on like I was? Why wasn’t he extracted when I was” you started to hyperventilate. Your mind racing at the needless possibilities that 10 minutes ago wouldn’t have even crossed your mind. “That’s where you come in” Fury spoke as the team tried to calm you down.
And with that, you and your found family hatched a plan
To reunite you and your older brother
Because at the end of the day they would do anything for you
Including inviting another person into the home you had created for yourselves 
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melancholy-pal · 8 hours ago
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To medicate or not to medicate? That is the question.
So I’m struggling quite a bit at the moment. I think the lockdown in the UK has really taken a toll on my mental health and brought up a lot of past “stuff” to the surface.
I come from a background of “stiff upper lip”, “everyone goes through struggles so keep it to yourself and crack on with life”. I think that way of being is so deeply ingrained in me that I struggled to ask for help previously.
My dad was an alcoholic who emotionally abused me as I was growing up. He put out cigarettes on me, convinced me that it was my fault my grandma passed away, kidnapped me at one point and screamed down the phone to my mum that she wouldn’t see me again, tried to punch me a few times but would miss due to his drunkenness and punch holes in the wall- to name a few things. My mum doesn’t even know the extent of some of the things that would happen and I can’t talk to her about it.
He died when I was 18, 2 weeks after his birthday in which I didn’t call him- so I felt guilty about that for a long time.
5 months after he passed away I was raped by someone I thought was a friend- I’d been confiding in them about my dad the night that it happened.
Recently, I’ve started having moments (that are similar to flashbacks) when my partner has been initiating sex, where I think back to the rape. I have also been getting stressed out at work so was referred to a counsellor. I’ve been seeing the counsellor for 7 weeks now and it’s nice to have an outlet but she just parrots everything I say back to me rather than helping me come up with coping strategies which I have asked for. I’m nervous to request a new counsellor because I don’t want to start from scratch again.
It’s the first time I’ve ever sought help for things and I’m slowly realising that I need more help and may need to seek help from my gp.
I feel like I’m at a point where I’m too broken and feel like a burden for those around me. Every now and then I have suicidal ideation but I know this is something I would never do because I understand how painful it is for loved ones that remain. I have the ability to be happy still and will often giggle throughout the day, but when I have a low moment, I’m very low and feel it for quite a while. I sometimes think “life would be easier if I just wasn’t here”- which doesn’t even make sense.
I worry about death a lot and I’m convinced I have undiagnosed health issues or that one day I’ll just be out for a walk and drop down dead. I worry about my loved ones dying and think about this almost daily. I constantly worry that I’m doing something wrong at work. My manager has been really supportive but I can’t help but think that he must be annoyed by how anxious I can be sometimes. I’m worried I’m going to drive my boyfriend away because who would want to be around someone who gets set off into a low mood by the smallest things. I also struggle in large social groups and become “the quiet one” because I worry about saying something dumb. Even though I’m pretty outgoing in my tight knit friend groups. Although I often worry my friends secretly hate me.
I’m hesitant to take medication because I remember my mum going on anti depressants after she left my dad and she said they made her feel numb and she couldn’t feel happiness. I want to still be able to feel emotions, I just want a reduction in low/anxious emotions.
So my questions are: - what medication do you take and how does it make you feel? - if you have had similar experiences, firstly I am sorry, but what strategies helped you accept what happened? Any type of therapies you’d recommend?
TLDR: What medication do you take for anxiety and how does it make you feel?
submitted by /u/bettsbrook [link] [comments] from Mental Health https://ift.tt/3byTGvd
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thatsjustrwde · 9 hours ago
For the RWBY character prompt thing: you gotta tell me about Ironwood for sure! And if somebody already asked, how's about Qrow? :)
OH BABEY A DOUBLE (I’m gunna put Qrow in a separate post to avoid making this too long) thank you so much!
Warning: This is a PRO IRONWOOD POST. I also go into team RWBY taking responsibility for their abuse towards Ozpin. Don’t read this if you don’t like it. You’ve been warned
My top three two ships for Ironwood
1) Ironqrow (Ironwood x Qrow) {Volumes 3-7}
I have loved the idea of these two since the fall of beacon. When they first interacted, I wasn’t too sure about them because it seemed like they didn’t really like each other.. but that scene where all the robots were turning on beacon and Qrow spotted ironwood, ran at him with his scythe, only to jump over him and save him from a Grimm, sold the ship to me. It was clear that they didn’t actually despise each other. Qrow wasn’t quick to point fingers; he knew that what was going on wasn’t James’ fault, and he even tried to add a little bit of comic relief to the scene. (When ironwood’s ship fell, and Qrow smirked “well, it won’t be much of a walk”)
My love for the ship was reinforced in v6 (yeah I know it was the fan service volume but I’m rolling with it anyway). Qrow knew that they HAD to get to ironwood in order to complete their goal. He trusted James, and he knew that he was a smart and capable leader who would know what to do (ah,, the good old days ;;)
And then in the early episodes of v7, their bickering that we once saw in v3 was non existent. They were happy to see each other, and James even initiated a hug. He was just so relieved to see him ;; it made my heart melt, I remember posting about this moment so much, all over instagram and tumblr. I loved them so dearly.
2) Ironwood x Glynda (idk if they have a ship name)
God,, I always loved them. that scene in v2 with Ironwood and Glynda standing together in the dead of night looking over the city of vale was so special to me. I love Glynda and her character, she is so dynamic. that scene with her and ironwood showed to us that she truly respected and cared for him and his well-being. She was worried for him as well. I just wish they had more interactions before his death. they would have been very sweet and POWERFUL together.
My three least favourite ships for Ironwood
1) Ironqrow {Volumes 7-8}
Oh boy. RT really knows how to take something good and just, ruin it huh.
I feel as though I don’t need to dive too deep into this (as I’ll be covering Ironwood’s fall from grace later) but yeah... The fight with Qrow and Clover was.. unfortunate. Everyone seemed to lose their braincells in that scene, and the moment it was over, Qrow was dead set on killing Ironwood for some reason even though he was the one who decided to side with a literal murderer, but go off MKEK you really did something there...
Yepp this absolutely killed the ship for me in canon (though I stilln love thinking about them out of the canon setting), I was an absolute wreck after this scene. they deserved better.
2) Ironwood x Winter
don’t worry I’m not about to pull the “IRONWOOD WAS AN ABUSIVE FATHER FIGURE AND GROOMED HER CAREERRHYUGGHR” no.
I always saw Ironwood as a POSITIVE father figure to winter, even before v7. We knew that winter was one of his best soldiers, and was most likely one of his students before then. I believe that Ironwood gave winter a chance at something great, to leave her actual abusive father and hone her skills as a soldier instead of becoming the heiress to a company that she did not want to be tied to. I believe Ironwood was a stellar father figure and role model to her, and that is the reason why I do not ship them. their relationship was so much deeper than that. it was found family.
3) Ironwood x Salem
What the fuck. Like actually what? This was a thing? What is it with this fandom and glorifying abusive relationships... I remember seeing a lot of people trying to justify it like “awh salem was so sweet with him she just wanted him to stop fighting. She would leave him alone after!!” Thats manipulation honey, we don’t fuck with that here. no. Absolutely not
My biggest criticism for Ironwood
See: the reason I made this side blog
It’s no secret to us in the RWDE community that his fall into the role of the villain was POORLY WRITTEN AND WE ALL HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. where the hell did this even come from? oh I know! TEAM RWBY LYING TO HIS FACE AFTER HE WAS NOTHING BUT KIND AND GENEROUS TO THEM. god I’m heated already.
I’ve talked about his stupid semblance before but it doesn’t even matter because his semblance wasn’t the cause of his descent anyway. We were all HOPING that it was but nope! it was him “losing his humanity” because he lost his other arm. How fucked up is that.
Shitty writing aside, I know James had flaws even before the shitshow that was v7-8, but honestly there was nothing he did that I can criticize harshly. He was a good and honest man with good intentions and a pure, big heart made of gold. Of course he made mistakes and of course he wasn’t perfect, but he was always trying to do the right thing to protect the people. He was a good man until MKEK decided they needed a reason to kill off another headmaster.
My favourite thing about Ironwood
his MUSCLES
His willingness to sacrifice himself to save others. During the fall of beacon he told the students that they didn’t have to stay, even though he could have used the help greatly. But he KNEW that they weren’t ready to handle a crisis like this, and he didn’t want to force them into a responsibility that could have left them emotionally/physically damaged, or worse.
During the Ironwood and Watts fight, IRONWOOD MANGLED HIS OWN ARM TO CAPTURE WATTS. He was so headstrong and brave and he wanted to do everything he could to prevent Salem, even if that meant hurting himself and losing another part of himself. God I miss him so much ;; I’m tearing up a little writing all of this...
A head canon I have for Ironwood
I love creating head canons for characters, it always makes them feel more real to me. one of my biggest head canons is that, in a peaceful world setting, he would enjoy sleeping in on the weekends. ;;. He is a headmaster AND a general which means he has to follow a strict schedule all the time. Maybe this is coming from my desire to take care of him and make sure he is happy and healthy and not stressed out.. But yeah, lazy Sundays, sleeping in late. pls let him sleep he needs so much sleep. What I would change about Ironwood if I were making a rewrite
Strap in kiddos I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time. I’m sure that someone has come up with a similar concept, but I will share my ideas anyway (: I am going to preface this by saying that for this rewrite to work, we need to have Winter receive the Winter maiden powers from Freya in V7.  To start, we will have to go back all the way to v2 when Ironwood was first introduced. I would have Ozpin and Glynda share their concerns to each other about Ironwood bringing all of his ships to look over the festival, but I would take that time to thoroughly explain his semblance. His semblance is stupid, so I would make some changes. To start off, I wouldn’t make it passive. The way it is now is just,, a weird way to give him a mental illness without actually giving him a mental illness. Activating it would have to be a decision that he made if he knew that he had to make decisions that would be hard for him. This way if his semblance caused him to do something actually horrible, he would be directly accountable for it, instead of blaming him for something that he couldn’t control. Semblances are a representation of the user, so with time and with more stress put onto Ironwood, I could see him falling victim to his own semblance if he were to abuse it too much. This will help as we lead into a better way to write his fall from grace. 
From there, I would keep pretty much everything the same until we get to v7. Team RWBY arrives in Atlas and gets arrested and brought to Ironwood just as they do in canon. This time, however, we have Oscar explain EVERYTHING. No lying. Salem cannot be killed. Oscar explains that Ozpin shut himself off after team RWBY forced the truth out of him, and while the truth is a lot for Ironwood to handle, he understands why Ozpin kept it a secret. He shuns team RWBY for their methods and explains why their actions were unnecessary and abusive, but agrees to help them anyway since he knows that they all need to come together if this is going to work. Hence, his arc kind of goes backwards. Instead of team RWBY having his trust from the beginning, they will need to work to gain it back. 
He takes Oscar under his wing to try and draw Ozpin back out. He greets Qrow, they fall in love, he also formally introduces the team to the Ace Ops. The Ace Ops take an IMMEDIATE backseat in the story. We don’t need more characters. For the sake of this rewrite specifically, they are barely around. We are focusing on Ironwood and his growth/relationships. I would explore more times to show the deep connection between him and Winter. As I said earlier, I see him as a healthy father figure for her, so I would definitely focus on that for a bit. At this point, Winter would not have received the maidens power yet, so we could have a scene of him assuring her that she is a perfect fit for the role, and encouraging her and just,, you know, solidifying that he wasn’t pressuring her into doing it. 
Carrying on with the main plot, instead of being left in the dark for the whole season, Ironwood is already aware that Salem cannot be killed. This gives him and the rest of the team a lot of time to work on a new plan to defeat her. They spend lots of time training, Ironwood takes care of them, offering his resources to them. Overtime the team do start to gain his trust little by little again, but this will all kinda fall apart when Salem arrives. 
With stress levels higher than ever, he activates his semblance. Team RWBY and friends KNOW about his semblance and they understand why he is acting irrationally. Maybe they have different ideas than him, but they would not directly oppose him. This completely fixes him from becoming a cartoon villain. Team RWBY and friends would work WITH Ironwood at a distance to fix amity and get global communications back up safely. From there, Ironwood could deliver a message to the world about Salem. Since people know who he is, it will make the message more impactful. Just like he did with his message to Mantle.
Qrow and Winter are positives in his life. They keep trying to ground him and bring him back to reality, but he will not deactivate his semblance. He is too scared of what’s to come with Salem. They support him in this, and do not turn their back on him. 
Winter receives the maiden’s power, and is told to open the vault to obtain the staff and raise atlas further into the sky to save his people. Winter agrees, why wouldn’t she? They have already evacuated most of mantle to atlas anyway. In situations like this it’s impossible to save everyone. RWBY could whine and bitch if they wanted to, but there is nothing they could do in this situation because, for the sake of this rewrite, they wouldn’t be as stupid as they are in the canon proper. 
The vault is open and the staff is vulnerable. It is in this moment that the ACTUAL VILLIAN comes into play. Watts took advantage of the security from behind the scenes, giving Salem the exact time that the vault was open. And thanks to him overhearing everything, he knows that all she needs to do is use the staff, and Atlas will fall. Salem appears in the room, and the big finale battle would occur. They weren’t ready yet. They hadn’t finalized the plan to stop her without killing her. Team RWBY Oscar and Qrow would do their best to keep Salem distracted while Winter and Ironwood speak to the staff. Meanwhile, Neo could breach Ironwood’s office and retrieve the relic of knowledge for Salem. 
The battle plays out, she keeps coming back, the team gets tired, Salem loses her patience and just PLOWS through them to get to the staff. She enters the realm and the mystical world around them begins to shatter and break. With that much concentrated evil in this place coming up out of nowhere, it would be sure to shift the balance. 
She goes head to head against Winter and Ironwood for the staff. She knows that using the staff will cause Atlas to come crashing down, so that is exactly  what she does. Since he is already out, she just gives him a command. It doesn’t matter what it is. Atlas starts to fall. She strikes a lethal blow to Ironwood (Keeping the theme of her killing headmasters) and flees with the staff. Qrow runs to his side, he and winter are crying, Team RWBY is upset, OZPIN IS UPSET. With his aura broken and his semblance down, he smiles at them all, says that he is proud of them for their work and he knows that they will find a way to defeat her. He tells them to get out and save themselves, save as many people as they can. They do that, but for further angst, Qrow stays with him, holding him and crying against him as Atlas falls. Team RWBY use the gravity dust keeping Atlas falling slowly to their advantage. They get as many people as they can into airships and send them to mistral. They then make their own way to Vacuo... Since global communications are back up, the world would know about this. This would give Shade academy a good chance to prepare. (damn I could write a fic)
What I think of Ironwood’s allusion and what I would change.
It’s dumb the way that CRWBY has portrayed it. In the story of the Wizard of Oz, the tin man doesn’t have a heart, but learns to love overtime. I used THIS aspect for helping my rewrite of Ironwood. He was hardened at the beginning, but managed to trust again and eventually smiled and said that he was proud of team RWBY and friends in his dying moments. It’s just more impactful that way I think. 
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geekgemsfnafblog · 9 hours ago
Text
Reunion
A draft from February 24th 2021 that’s canon to the Stories From Fazbear’s timeline. https://geekgemsfnafblog.tumblr.com/post/649691725285244928/stories-from-fazbears-timeline-as-of-now-it-is Another one that made me tear up. 
The Puppet:...Henry...can you hear me?
Fredbear:...yes. I can hear you.
The Puppet: I know you’re angry...angry at him. I can’t blame you...but I sense you’re too angry to talk.
Fredbear:...
The Puppet: I know you missed me. Can we talk please?
Fredbear:...I want him to suffer...what he did to you...was unforgivable. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. What happened to you was my fault.
The Puppet: What happened to me wasn’t your fault. It never was. 
Fredbear:...I want him to feel so much pain.
The Puppet: No matter how many times you kill William...no matter how many ways you do it...it’s never going to bring me back. 
Fredbear:...I just want to hold you again. I wanted things to be better.
The Puppet: I can understand that...but can I ask you an important question please?
Fredbear:...yes hun.
The Puppet: Do you regret what you did? For becoming what happened after I died...after the children were killed?
Fredbear:...I was scared. I was angry. I’m still angry. If I had the chance to take everything back. change everything. I would do it in a heartbeat...how I ran things...I always thought you would hate me. I regret EVERYTHING. Why do you think I killed myself?
The Puppet: I never hated you. Even though I was disappointed. But the fact you regret everything. The fact you admit that...that takes courage. Including you want to change everything.
Fredbear:...I don’t deserve love. I deserve to suffer just as much as he did.
The Puppet: You didn’t kill those children...I understand you were scared. You don’t deserve to suffer. How you killed yourself...was brutal.
Fredbear:...are they okay? The children?
The Puppet: They were always okay and safe with me. They appreciated you buried them...their parents are all sadly dead...but the children all moved on. They all understand you regret what you did.
Fredbear:...I don’t deserve forgiveness.
The Puppet: It’s okay to cry...
Fredbear:...why did you love me? Why you stay with me after all those years?
The Puppet: Because you made me happy. And I made you happy. But what also makes me happy is Charlie is okay...she still loves you. Don’t think she hates you.
Fredbear:...I still love her.
The Puppet: What’s important is that she’s safe now. With people who love and care for her. 
Fredbear:...even in death, you’re still a mother.
The Puppet: Yes...you’re correct. Even if I was upset with what happened to me.
Fredbear:...I fear if we ever move on...I’m not gonna be able to hold you again...I know a place in Hell is waiting for me.
The Puppet: Whatever happens to you. Just remember...I worried for the children after some things they did...but they moved on...but for the time being...hold on to me. Like you always did. 
Fredbear:...
The Puppet:  Come here my big ol’ teddy bear.
...
...
The Puppet: I love you Henry.
Fredbear:...I love you too Caroline.
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