#and theres so many books out there i want to make sure im picking a good one yknow

[luvchungha]

things you love about bf!skz

pairing: boyfriend!skz x gn!reader

warnings: fluff, drabbles cursing(?), mentions of being a princess

wordcount: 1.3k

bang chan

out of the year or so you two have dated, you haven't failed to notice how observant chan is. even if its something very small thats different about you, he will always point it out.

"there's a bruise on the side of your thigh, what happened?" he would ask, concerningly.

even when you get new clothes, he notices. "are those pants new? they look good on you" he says with a grin on his face. you're starting to believe his brain has yo enter new data everytime theres something different about your appearance.

or the time where you had come back from hanging out with your friends, and the next morning he said "did you get a new piercing? your ear has an extra hole."

chan would point out. this specific scenario ended up with your reply, "channie, how did you even notice...? i took the piercing out already." which thoughtfully, he responded "what can i say, the longer i look at your the more i notice"

lee know

when someone says "dont judge a book by its cover" it definetly applies to people, especially lee know. before getting to know him, he was a completely different person. he cares more than you'd think, almost too much you'd feel like a burden.

like the one time you went out to a private club to celebrate a friend's birthday. you had gotten a little more than tipsy, accidently calling lee know to tell him "how much you miss your boyfriend" and "i need a hug from my boyfriend right now" which gave him the signal to drive his car out to pick you and your friends up, even letting them stay the night at your house.

everytime your mood even changes slightly, he gets worried. even if nothing had even happened to you. he always asks "are you okay love?" and makes sure to take over cooking for that night (and cook very well, mind you) he just wants to make sure you're always happy, because if you're sad, he's sad.

changbin

one thing about changbin is that he's always worried about you. especially for your safety. sometimes it gets a little out of hand, he freaked out when you tripped while you were walking after your date.

you were wearing a new pair of shoes you hadn't gotten used to.

of course, you hadn't fallen to the ground. you kept your balance before you could fall. although, with his quick reflexes he grabbed your waist to pull you back up. (even though you werent going to fall)

changbin being the person he is, proceeded to say, "i know we just went on a date, but dont hurt yourself falling for me sweetheart." you lightly shoved him, annoyed at the cheesy line and embarassed at the petname. to make sure you didnt hurt yourself again, he kept one of his hands on your back, as if he was guiding the way.

hyunjin

no matter how many people are in a room, hyunjin is always looking at you. you first noticed this a little after you had first met. your roomate had invited jisung over, which led to hyunjin coming too. you were all having a conversation at the dinner table, but the only thing you could focus on was the way

hyunjin was looking at you so intensely.

later when you two had eventually starting dating, you had come to discover that was his "im interested in this thing infront of me" face. like how he stared at paintings in an art gallery he found interesting, he stared at you in the same amazement.

another time was after you decided to become a trainee. you and 7 other nee friends were going to perform a cover of one of stray kids' songs. this was a few years after they debuted, and since you two began dating before his debut, obviously he was thrilled when you were on stage covering his song. you could see him in the vip area, embarassingly blowing kisses and hearts at you. he had on a "disguise" but you could tell it was him from a mile away.

han jisung

jisung is overly thoughtful. he likes to express his love for you through words, and tries to do it regularly, as if you're going to forget he loves you. one of the ways he expresses this undying love for you is through sticky notes. specifically, he bought different colors for everyday of the week.

for the days you came back from work late, he left a note on the kitchen counter, usually resulting in seeing him asleep on the couch with the tv playing. you felt bad he tried to stay awake in order to see you when you got home, but his effort was appreciated. the notes usually consisted or something like, "y/n! i hope you had a good day at work, even if you didnt i'm still proud of you. theres food in the fridge for you! - love hannie"

the other way he expressed his love for you was through his music. you went to the studio to suprise him one time, and overheard on a conversation including chan and changbin. they were complaining about how all of the songs han wrote were love songs. you could tell they appreciated it, but an entire album can't be love songs. it was even more embarassing for han when you had accidently heard one of his unreleased songs, a sweet love song, lyrics flowing perfectly with his voice.

felix

one habit felix will never get out of is touching. even before you dated, you could tell he was a skinship person. no matter what, he feels the need to touch you at all times. whether its a hug, holding hands, or even touching your fingers. you don't mind of course. you think its sweet.

he even admitted that theres this feeling of uneasy-ness when he isn't near you. even if you are near eachother, he has the urge to do something in order to be touching you, like a sense of overprotecting.

even doing simple things, like while making dinner, he has to be hugging you from the back. or while you're cutting up some vegatables, he feels the need to guide your hand while you cut, as if it was the first time you picked up a knife. whenever you walk side by side, hands are always entertwined. sitting down at the dinner table? his hand is on your thigh, or ontop of your hand.

seungmin

seungmin thinks about you alot, even if he doesnt admit it to your face. something you've realized is how much attention he pays when you speak, always remembering small things you tell him.

like the time you were on lunch break at work, scrolling through whatever social media app, you sent him a desert recipe you wanted to try sometime. a day or so later, you got home and he had followed tbe recipe in order to make it, even if it wasn't perfect. he wants to make you happy and keep it that way.

or how when he asked to be your boyfriend, he got you and him matching necklaces. because beforehand you had told him about your friend and their boyfriend, and how they got matching bracelets and they were so cure. saying how "you'd love to have a matching item with someone"

jeongin

he loves spoiling you, no matter how much you refuse and try to repay him. he always says "your happiness and love is the only payment i need" with a smile on his face. he was so sweet, but you wanted to make sure he was happy too sometimes.

if you see something through the window of a store you like? hes already at the counter getting ready to pay. It would take 3 hands to count the amount of times he had to fight for the bill, not wanting to make you pay for it. you felt bad not paying for your portion of the meal, no matter how much he reassured you.

he makes sure to give you princess treatment if you're feeling even the slightest bit down. when you had a bad day at work, he immediately out everything else he was supposed to do aside, and planned a relaxing spa evening at home for you. together, you did skincare, massages, and he even let you paint his nails.

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

taglist form

a/n: sorry a few of them are longer than the other ones, thinking of writing a fic based off of one of these tbh...also yes i am stalling for my smau rn u caught me

#💎jade works #lee felix x reader #skz fanfic #skz fluff #stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids smau #lee felix x you #felix x reader #skz drabbles #bang chan x reader #lee know x reader #lee minho x reader #bang chan fluff #bang chan drabbles #lee know drabbles #seo changbin x reader #changbin fluff #changbin drabbles #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin drabbles #hyunjin fluff #han jisung x reader #han x reader #han jisung drabbles #kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #jeongin fluff

[mediocreanomaly]

Heya! Same patchwork anon here >:]

Im so glad you like the idea! And id definitely see Vash being so protective of it, but sir we need to clean that omg 😩

But i did wanna shoot another reply cause i had another thought (Its 3am, so its the perfect time for thoughts) but imagine instead of white solid thread for Nai's janky ass milk puzzle blanket, its instead stitched with colored thread to at least give it some more life :0

I do like the idea that Nai just keeps it hidden, but imagine Nai's mate finding it and wanting to improve on it more, so little by little theyve been hand-embroiddering stuff on each patch to give it more life, and Nai doesnt notice cause he doesnt really lay it out often, and one day he just has this urge to look at it again, maybe give it a chance and add it to the nest, afterall its the thought that counts right? but then he spreads it out and sees the different embroiderry, like hearts or flowers that Nai's mate saw in books~ Theres even an ongoing embroiderry that makes it clear that his mate has been stitching this behind his back lol

(okay thats all sorry for the ramble im just so weak for them huhu)

Authors Note: Oh my gosh??? I'm so sorry for being away everyone work is busy busy busy rn, gotta serve up some of my drafts fr...anyways! Patchwork anon strikes again! You know nesting hc's are my weakness I had to indulge, R.I.P. Knives milk puzzle.

In reference to both of these post: Nesting Hc's, Patchwork Anon

A Blanket of Many Colors, Knives x Reader

You run your fingers over the blanket you had gifted Nai, the patchwork of white making the blanket look more like a haphazard ghost costume rather than a gift you'd painstakingly sown together. You sigh, you didn't really blame Nai for hiding it away in fact you'd been a be relived when you found out your mate kept the scraggly piece of fabric at all. While the vision had been there the end result had ended up lack luster at best.

You groan, about to tuck it back away in its hiding spot for good when you pause over one of the squares. Although by itself it wasn't much...it'd be the perfect base for something else. You think of what you could fill the tiles with, you had more than enough colored thread to add a bit of life to it, you mull over a couple options before remembering the book of flowers Nai had shown you once, his expression had soften as he explained the differences between each species. Inspired, you quickly grab the blanket and march over to the large bookcase in the corner of Nai's room, running your fingers over the spines of the books trying to find the correct one.

"c'mon...it's gotta be here somewh- ah!" you say triumphantly, pulling out the book containing pictures hundreds of different flowers. You'd been amazed when Nai first showed you, plants like this didn't bloom on Gunsmoke, so the idea of their soft petals were all you had to go off of. You quickly flip through the book picking out one of the flowers and grab some red thread and a needle, ready to go to work.

Some where along the way this little practice had become routine for you. Every time Nai was away or you were bored you'd sneak over to the cabinet your mate had stored the blanket and add a small embroidery. Adding a different flower every time until the blanket was becoming a colorful tapestry of your own making. You weren't sure if Nai even knew what you were doing, if he did he didn't say anything about it. So you continued the harmless pass time figuring he had just forgotten about the gift to collect dust.

He hadn't. Nai was, admittedly, particular when it came to his nest and he knew it. He'd mull over the sheets over and over making sure they were the same shade of white and that they were both soft and large enough. When you had presented him with the hand made blanket...it wasn't that he didn't apricate a gift from his beloved mate, it's just that he cringed internally anytime he thought about it in his nest. He couldn't bring himself to throw away something made by your hands though, so he had stored it away for safe keeping, not wanting anyone else to get their filthy hands on something made specifically for him.

It wasn't until a couple months and one tedious day later that he found himself marching towards his quarters. His instincts where screaming to wind down and drag you into the nest with him but you were out in Ja'Lai, escorted by Legato. He huffs, thinking of grabbing some of your clothes to add to the nest for your scent but then grimaces at the idea of all that disorganized fabric against the white sheets and pillows. He pauses looking at the cabinet that contained the gift you had made all that time ago. Although he still bristles slightly at the idea of it sprawled out in his nest...maybe it's the thought that counts? No. Absolutely not. But he could at least drag it out for a little while, maybe it wasn't as bad as he remembered.

Nai opens the cabinet and reaches in for the blanket but when he pulls it out...his eyes go wide. He holds it up so that he had a better view of what he's seeing, flowers he had only seen as a child blossom against the white fabric painting a scene of an intricate garden that only his memories and dreams could recreate. Had his mate been doing this the whole time? He tilts his head and gently traces the patters of the petals and whining stems that adorns the blanket now, then...he glances up towards his nest.

"Nai? You you here?" you call walking towards your shared room. The others had informed you of your mates arrival while you were out in town and you were eager to welcome him with open arms. You pad in, cold floor beneath you feet. He must be curled up in the nest it's where he liked to recharge after being gone. You walk towards the bed where you know a heap of white blankets and pillows is waiting as you quietly peek in the room. Your mate is in the nest alright, but...instead of the usual stark white, a myriad of color litters the top. Your blanket, you realize, is now the main center piece of the nest, curled securely around your sleeping mate as he purrs in his sleep, plant marking glowing softly. It seems...he liked the gift after all.

#knives x you #knives x reader #trigun x reader #knives millions #patchwork anon at it again #nesting plants...my heart

[wqxianwriting]

how to make a golden retriever happy.

SLIGHTLY proofread | f!reader | poly relationship with nick & charlie though reader isn’t dating charlie | pretty damn long i got ahead of myself, sorry :,) | they’re so cute but im so bad at details fr | lunch date, walks, stargazing w fireflies & movie night! (you got headbands to wear… guess what movie charlie is having y’all watch rn) | what is stargazing | author questioning what color sonic’s eyes are | theres some crying at the end and a mention of breaking up but its just those negative thoughts actin up, theyre all okay :) | angst/comfort? | not many kisses unfortunately but THERE ARE SOME, like three scenes… two? | there is cussing, not much | nick & reader flashbacks

#%a/n%#;; first request done! thanks for it, they mean so much to me. i didn’t wanna make it too long but here we are lolol, hope it’s enjoyable though 🥹💜 also ntm on your family details but your mom does appear and she has a “set” personality! no one else appears though so you can imagine the reader’s family how you want, though it is mentioned your mom is married. also note, since reader is a lady she goes to the same school as like, elle darcy tara (and probably imogen too, right?). meant to post this yesterday but i wanted to add some stuff at the end haha, sorry sorry this is a whole ass wattpad book fr, feel like i wrote so much and nothing at the same time. hope you enjoy if you give it a read thought fhdhdj

OH YEAH last thing, the emotions in this story is kind of a whiplash 💀 one minute they’re happy the next theyre kinda sad or bittersweet so- hopefully the pacing doesnt seem bad… BE WARNED. shouldn’t be too crazy. okay thats it this time do enjoy

character(s):

nick & charlie (heartstopper)

elle & tao cameo

reader’s mom omg she’s a sweetheart, charlie’s parents are mentioned/super small cameo, nick’s mom also has a small cameo/is mentioned

darcy, imogen and sahar are very briefly mentioned!

The sweet sound of the school bell rings throughout and the school and every single student sighs in relief of the noise. You glance up at the clock on the wall before looking around the classroom where students are packing up their bags while talking noisily to one another.

You allow yourself to recline in your chair, left arm reaching back to where your backpack dangles off the seat and slide your hands into the side pocket, grabbing your phone.

Nicky Ricky Dicky: I’m alive!

Char: you live! i live too :) wanna walk together today or are you both busy? (gonna pick you up bestie)

Y/N: i’ll meet you outside (ty loveliest)

Char: awesome!!! nick?

Nicky Ricky Dicky: Sorry aha, I need to go home quickly today but I’ll be sure to join tomorrow!

This makes you pout and you can imagine your bestfriend having the same expression because the sad emoji he wrote in the group-chat even makes you sadder.

Char: ☹️

Y/N: don’f worry charlie

Y/N: Don’t*

Nicky Ricky Dicky: Sorry :,)

Char: It’s fine! Do what you have to do… we gonna facetime tonight though?

Char hearts your message ‘don’f worry charlie’.

Nicky Ricky Dicky: No promises but I’ll do my best. 😠❤️

Nicky Ricky Dicky: i gtg now, love you both <3

Y/N: lym! ❤️

Char: love you! ❤️❤️❤️

Y/N: three hearts 🥹

Char: y/n. STOP. come outside before i die

Y/N: omg… such a drama king like okay

You write and yet, you’re quick to jump from your chair and snatch your bag before sliding it on your shoulder. You push in your chair and skip out into the hallways where you see Elle. “Heya, Elle!”

She smiles warmly and waves goodbye to her friends before stepping in sync with you. “Hey there, Miss, didn’t catch your name.” You bump her shoulder and she bumps you back. “What’re you up to?”

“Charlie’s gonna come pick me up, hopefully via bike… mines broke the other day.” You sigh and she gives you a look of pity while trying to bite back a grin. Then she perks up.

“Not Nick?”

You shake your head, rubbing a hand against your temple. “Mm-mm, you ever just get a feeling something is off?”

Elle nods, turning her face away from you and her hands grip onto the handle of her bag that bounces against her legs. “Yeah, just putting it out there… graduation may be on his mind, I know its on mine and it’s been kicking my ass to be honest,” You wrap an arm around her in comfort and she hums in appreciation. “Just all that weird stuff, weird thoughts and anxiety…” Then she pauses, raising a hand and flicking her wrist. “Okay- not weird, but you know.”

That makes you snort, “Yeah, I get’cha… maybe, but we’ve always been open about that kind of stuff, I just don’t understand why it’d be a issue… I mean, we’ve talked about it many times before so it’s kind of odd, I guess?” You and Elle share a look of confusion before shrugging.

“Maybe it’s been having more of an impact y’know? You can speak easily about something when you’re not there yet but… graduation is coming up and everyone is worried about the future. You know how things don’t hit you till it’s happening literally next week or something? Maybe its hitting harder.”

Your heart clenches in pain at those words. She’s not wrong, there is a high chance it’s staring to affect him more… hitting harder than you’d know. You nibble on your bottom lip in concern and furrow your eyebrows,

“Well. If he’s being an idiot and isn’t gonna come to us about it then I’ll beat him up.” You place your hands on your hips, lightly joking to disperse the tense air between the two of you. Of course he isn’t being an idiot but you refuse to let him stress on his own. Elle chokes out a laugh in surprise.

“Oh god, he better run, she’s scary when she’s angry.” One of her hands let go of her bag and she hold her stomach while laughing a bit more. “Wouldn’t that be a sight?”

You scoff, “Like we haven’t argued before.”

“You argue about literal video games.”

“Stop.” You laugh and push at her shoulder. “Oh, and Elle, you know I’m your friend and if you ever need an ear to lend about college talk or need help to get your mind off of it to just relax, you got me.” She stares at you for a few beats before cracking into a grin.

“Thank you, Y/N. You know you got me too.”

Outside the school building you’re quick to spot two familiar figures by the gate. “Yes, he’s here!” Your arms raise in celebration then instantly flop down, “There’s no bike…!”

Elle calls out which makes the two boys stiff in seconds.

“Get your butts over here, Mr. Xu and Mr. Spring!” They awkwardly crane their necks to your direction and simultaneously sigh in relief – probably thinking you were teachers.

“You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Tao exclaims as you and Elle once you’re right infront of the two, gesturing to his heart. Elle is quick to place a hand over his chest – Tao’s cheeks lowkey reddening but you decide not to point it out for his sake – and her eyes widen a bit.

“Tao, your chest is gonna shoot out your chest.”

“See?”

“That is the goal, sire.” You finger gun at him and he smacks your hand away lightly with an exasperated look. It makes you giggle. “Elle is just feeling a little silly today.”

“It’s my agenda.” She grins before engulfing Charlie into a hug and he squeaks in surprise before squeezing her back. “Hello, Charlie!”

“Are you sure your heart isn’t pounding because you’ve gotten your daily dose of Elle?” You whisper while stepping in line next to Tao, facing your head to your other friends but you can see him tense at the corner of your eye.

He pinches his nose bridge, mumbling and you catch some of the words, suspiciously sounding like him saying he’s gonna fight you. His cheeks bloom a rosy rose so you take the win either way and smugly smirk at him.

“Hi, Elle!” His muffled laugh catches your attention, making you and Tao smile at the interaction before you wrap an arm around the latter, making him eyeroll, of course he does, but he wraps an arm around your shoulder and gives you a light squeeze in response.

“We best be off on our merry way,” You speak up, checking the time as the two friends let go of eachother. “I wanna stop by that new shop that opened a few weeks ago… Is that fine, Char?”

He gives you a thumbs up and Elle speaks, “Let me know how their desserts taste, I’ve been wondering but honestly they don’t look that good so…” She stares at you with a grimace before shrugging.

“Noted~” You say in a singsong voice before wrapping your arms around Charlie. “I’ll call you later, enjoy your afternoon date.” You and Charlie give the couple teasing grins and they take the bait, looking away in shyness but Tao takes the initiative and connects their hands together. It makes you melt.

“Shut up.” He groans, snapping but tone very much unthreatening adding on the fact he’s trying to cover his flustered face with his free hand.

“Yes, yes grumpy old man, we’ll see you later.” You and Charlie waist no time to start down the road with waves.

“Bye!” He shouts.

“I’m not a grumpy old man!” Tao stomps his foot, comedically. Right. How could you make that mistake?

“Bye, Y/N and Charlie!” Elle laughs with a wave and tugs her totally-not-grumpy boyfriend off in the other direction. You watch their hands tighten around eachother, squinting in amusement when Tao’s scowl instantly softens into a lovestruck gaze.

“Ahhh, young love.”

“You’re starting to sound like the old one here.” Charlie snickers, hands coming up to hold onto your forearms that are still bounded around him.

“You wound me, Char.” You squeeze him and he huffs. “I literally think the same when you and Nick are interacting, it’s so,” You make weird noises, fingers wiggling. “Y’know? Very sweet. Very cute, I even have some photos of you latching onto eachother while sleeping. Wanna see-?”

His brain feels like it’s shutting down, lightly smacking your arm when you lift it as to grab your phone. “Stop it.” You could practically see those animated stars swirling around his head and laugh.

You relent and unwrap your arms with a cheeky smile. He glances at you before hiding his face in his hands. “Ughh, whatever. You act like you don’t jump Nick the minute you see him.” Yeah, that’s crazy. You feel your own cheeks flaring up.

“You must be blind.”

“No, no, no. Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Lie!” He exclaims in a joking tone, uncovering his face and poking you in accusation. You lean away, losing your balance and forcing yourself to lean on your tippy toe. Your other foot comes down onto pavement with a stomp and you twirl like you’re dancing. Charlie definitely notices this misstep, doesn’t say anything but you see his shoulders shaking in silence. He’s laughing.

“I never lie?” You pick off the conversation.

“Was that a question?” He tilts his head back at you.

“No?”

He stares at you, eyebrow twitching and you puff out your cheeks like a frog, looking anywhere but in his direction. “You’re awfully cheeky today.”

“How am I being cheeky?” He gives you a look like you’re being ridiculous.

“Charlie Spring is a little cheeky today, my oh my, what have I done to deserve this.” Then you raise your voice in a slight yell, “Ahhh! Who is this?! This isn’t my Charlieeee…!” Your arms reach for the sky.

“You’re an idiot.” He takes the chance and poke you again which makes you yelp. You narrow your eyes. He runs off, you chase.

That was last week. You haven’t seen your boyfriend in a couple of days and it’s concerning. He responds hours late to your messages, doesn’t even respond in your group chat with Charlie, his calls barely last ten minutes and you literally haven’t seen this man in person. Charlie tells you he still shows up at school but his eye-bags are pretty bad.

“Is he avoiding me? I’m confused.” You frown, balled up on Charlie’s bed and feeling very mixed. A little annoyed, a little sad, and alot of worried. Charlie sets down two mugs on his bedside table and sits next to you on the bed. His rests a hand atop of your head and lightly taps it.

“No… I don’t think so. I see him at school and he tries to act normal but even he doesn’t respond to me like that outside of school.” The scowl his face makes has deepened and you’re quick to wrap an arm around his leg in comfort. He lets out a weak smile but it’s quick to fall off his face. “I’m confused too…”

You both stay silent, it’s nearly deafening. “I don’t wanna force him to tell us anything – I mean, he knows he can come to us if he needs it but if he’s really stressed about school maybe we can help give him some space to not think about it. Even if its only for a bit, you know?” Charlie listens to you mumble while tugging at a loose thread on his sweater and nods slowly, eyes lost in thought.

“Should we go somewhere?” He tilts his head back to look at the ceiling before his gaze travels around his room’s walls, hoping to find an inkling of inspection.

“That sounds fine.” The somber feeling in the room lifts a bit when you start to grin. You shift onto your back, raising your right arm in the air and sprawl out your fingers. “We could go out, do something and eat… I kinda wanna stargaze, is that weird?”

He lets out a chuckle, glancing down at you with a teasing glint in his eyes, “Wow, you’re such a romantic, Y/N. I’m shocked.” To which you scoff.

“Well, duh. Who makes all the date plans?”

“Okay, no, that’s because you say we’re bad at planning dates – you refuse us to even be involved.”

“Charlie, Nick brought you to a dog park as a date.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“You both stayed there till nine.”

He full on laughs now, bumping you with his knee and you smack it back in retort. “No judgement though, I would do the same but that was for the whole day! Who stays at a dog park from Eleven to Nine?” He continues to laugh until they turn into giggles.

“Maybe… we’re unique.”

“True that. You didn’t even bring baby Nells, shaking my head.” To put emphasis, you shake your head and your friend has to gasp out for air. “Don’t die, now.”

“Whatever whatever.” He brings his hands to his face and rubs his cheeks in circular motion to calm himself. His face is flushed and he exhales slowly before reaching for his phone. “Do you want your drink?”

You remove your arm from his leg and sit up properly, holding on your hands and he complies, placing the mug between them. “Thank you~” You lean on the wall, flopping your legs onto Charlie’s before crossing them at the ankles – to which he sighs in annoyance and it makes you grin. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m gonna search for places to go that is nearby but not too close… you have a place in mind for stargazing?” He grabs his own mug that is black and littered with yellow stars, how ironic. You nod sleepily, slowly sipping your preferred drink and tap at the cup absentmindedly.

“Yeah, it’s near my house.”

He flicks his eyes towards you for a second.

Then goes back to typing on his phone.

“You mean it is your home.”

“Maybe.”

You smirk, he sighs and you both go back to planning. Nick honestly better be willing to get his ass dragged out of the house by his lovely girlfriend and boyfriend because money is involved and you both would be damned if he just wallows in self despair, alone.

So, that’s what happens, you fill Charlie’s parents in on needing to steal your bestfriend during the weekend and some of the plans involved like a movie night. They agreed to let him stay over for the night but he must call every few hours or atleast text.

Your parents love the boys and were completely down with the idea. Of course you also secretly called Nick’s mum and she had filled you in on a couple things that made you a tad bit more nervous to see your boyfriend.

Seems like your assumption was correct (more like Elle’s). “Lately he’s been talking about colleges, right… he’s planning to go on a trip sometime this month to check them out but he seems stressed, it’s been worrying me. You know though, kids probably don’t want their parents all in their business, haha,” She laughs softly and you can hear running water cut off on her end – probably washing something – “He knows he can come to me so I’m just letting him have his space. It’s lovely you and Charlie want to ease his mind! Glad he’s with and friends with two sweethearts,” This makes your face flare up in embarrassment but your chest puffs with pride.

“Of course, and I know he appreciates you being patient and understanding with him. The thing we don’t wanna do is pressure him… I just hope this can help take his mind off of the stress and you know… relax?” You grimace a bit, tugging at the end of your sleeve as the phone sits between your ear and shoulder.

“I get it, mhm. Thank you, Y/N.” Her voice is still soft but gets even more sincere with a hint of emotion. Had you feeling emotional too.

Saturday is quick to arrive and you stare at your reflection with determination. Brushing down your outfit, you admire your date look a bit more before turning around slowly and snatch your bag off the bed which is filled with random necessities that you may or may not need along with your wallet.

“Alright, Nick Nelson, prepare yourself for the best date you’ll ever be on.” You puff out your cheeks, grab you phone of the charger and exit your room. “I’ll be off, Mother~” You hum once you reach the end of the staircase and spot your Mom on the couch with a paper in hand.

“What is with the formal address?” She chuckles behind her hand, standing up and following you towards the front door. “I’ll see you later tonight with Nick and Charlie, right? Enjoy yourselves.” She smiles, wrapping her arms around your head and you hug her back with a gentle squeeze.

“Oh! Wait.”

She quickly unravels herself from you and speeds down the hall to the kitchen. Your eyes stare down the direction she went for a few seconds before deciding to slip on your shoes.

“Okay, here you go.” You’re standing with the door open by the time she comes back and she gives you a picnic basket. It’s not super big but you have to grab it with two hands. Less from the size, more from the weight.

“Mom. What did you pack in here?” You huff out a laugh, going to open the lid but she stops you.

“No, do not open it. It’s like… a wedding. You can’t see your spouse or it’ll be bad luck!” She speaks with a finger raised and you cock an eyebrow up. Whatever you say, Mom is basically your expression and she seems to notice because she places her hands on her hips with an exasperated look. “Just trust me, I’ve done it before and it was bad luck all day.”

“Mhm, mhm, right.” You nod, half listening and backing up on your porch. She follows, hand on the doorknob with a soft smile and she pinches your cheek with her other hand. “Thanks, I love you.”

“Love you too, honey.” She full on grins now and waves. After your ‘see you later’ promises, you’re quick to dart down the street and across the roads to a nearby park where Charlie said he’d meet you after picking up Nick. It gives you enough time to unload the nice lunch packed for the three of you and hopefully buy some refreshing popsicles or ice creams before they arrive.

Seems like luck is on your side though – maybe your Mom was right – because the minute you finish laying out the huge blanket in a nice shaded area you hear the sound of someone ringing a familiar bell sound. You turn your head so quick it nearly gave you whiplash and your eyes widen at the person walking along the park’s path, pushing a white squared cart decorated with photos of different types of cold treats.

You take your bag and phone, dialing Charlie’s number while speedwalking across the grassy field. It takes two rings before you hear his voice.

“Yes, partner in crime?” His voice comes off as staticky for a moment.

“What the hell are you doin’, your mic is scuffed as hell…”

“I’m walking!” You could imagine the eyeroll Charlie would do and bite your cheek to not laugh.

“Are you with Nick?” You continue to talk but smile in greeting when the ice cream seller stops at you coming over. He says hello and you wave before looking over all the choices on the cart.

“Yes. We’re grabbing drinks right now, you okay?”

“Yeah! I’m at the park, set up the picnic – though the food is still in the basket,” You glance back at your spot and after making sure nothing seems out of the ordinary you look back at the cart. “You remember those ice cream cart things? You want something?”

It’s silent between the two of you as Charlie ponders, in the meantime you point to your desired choice and the guy nods with a smile, opening the ice cream cart before digging around in the pile of cold desserts until he finds the one you want.

“Do they-“ He cuts himself off with a chuckle and you perk up at his voice, “Do they um,” He snorts this time then sighs to calm himself, “The ones with the bubblegum eyes. I wanna try one.”

You laugh a little, thanking the ice cream man as he sets the packaged treat in your hand. “Do you want the sonic one or something?”

“Whatever you spot first or whichever is given. Oh wait- Nick-“ You zone out a bit as he speaks to the blond and point to the blue hedgehog. The ice cream man continues his search. “He said he wants the crybaby ice cream.”

“Oh god.” You sigh in adoration, tilting your head back to the clear blue sky. “Weren’t they, like, terrible the last time we tried them?”

This time you hear Nick’s cheerful voice and he scoffs, “Okay, no. That was because for some weird reason you and Darcy wanted to put warheads into the mix.”

“Thank you,” You say to the nice man, grabbing a ten and a five dollar bill as a tip out of your wallet with a smile. You then put all the treats into your bag along with the wallet, waving the man bye which he returns and goes on his merry way. Your focus goes back to the two boys. “Ah yes, I remember the part where your face went sooo red. Hilarious, I have videos I think.”

He groans in prospect and you hear muffled giggles erupt from Charlie. “Why do you do this to me?”

“What are you talking about?” You tease and he groans again.

Charlie then speaks up, sounding way closer to the phone. “Alright! We’ll see you in two-point-five seconds.” You hum in response and say your goodbyes before hanging up the phone.

You reach the blanket again, flopping on your tush and take the ice creams out, aligning them with precision on top of the picnic basket. Charlie doesn’t disappoint because not two minutes later you see two familiar figures walking down the park path, one of them pointing towards your general direction and ditching the path to the grass.

You could feel your heart pound from… nervousness or excitement? Maybe both and it makes you grin, waving at the two. They get closer and Charlie waves awkwardly with a hand that has a drink in it, to which you notice his other hand also had a drink… and one of Nick’s. The blond’s other hand is carrying headbands of some sort and a bag is hanging off his arm.

“Char told me to get these while we were in the grocery store.” Nick speaks first when they get to you, he lifts the hand with headbands. “I decided not to question it.” You raise your hands and he carefully sets the accessories in them. Ah. Barbie headbands.

“Charlie…” Your brows pinch in amusement but also bewilderment. “What have you decided?”

He chuckles mysteriously, lifting a foot off the ground to point at your hand. “Put those down and take your drink, please. My hands are freezing.”

“Oops.” You comply and take the cup. The two eventual settle down with Nick in the middle and you quietly take a nice sip of the beverages. “Thank you.”

The boys nod and you glance at Nick, noticing the shadows of bags under his eyes. It makes you frown for a second, “So, what am I doing here on this lovely day.” Before you could inquire, Nick speaks up first, eyes shutting in contentment and a pretty smile adoring his face.

You lean back on the palm of your hand, eyeing Charlie and he meets your gaze. “Can we not want to hang out with the one and only, Mr. Nick Nelson?” You speak with a teasing tone, leaning into his side. His smile goes wider and he opens his eyes to meet yours.

“You make me sound like some big shot.”

Your eyes narrow.

“Well it was hard to reach you… so…” His gaze falters along with his smile, nervously tapping the top of his cup. “Not to pressure you, you know that but Charlie and I will always be there to listen if you need it.” You poke his arm gently and you spot Charlie’s hand sliding into Nick’s.

“Yeah.” Charlie nods, squeezing their hands, “But if not, that’s fine too. Y/N and I wanted to just, relax with you. Spend some time together.”

That makes Nick let out a shaky laugh and a wobbly smile. “Thanks.” He pauses. “Really. It’s just been, crazy?” He nibbles at his bottom lip before sighing and flops on his back, leaving his cup between his crossed legs and dragging the two of you down with him – which makes you all share a laugh.

Charlie rests against his boyfriend’s chest – facing his direction and you flip onto your stomach to play with both of their soft locks. “What has?” You ask softly.

He’s silent for a bit, tapping his fingers on your back with his free hand. “I’m not sure, school? Life? …Me? There’s no exact reason, everything just seems to be crashing down in my brain and it’s annoying to say the least.” He sighs heavily, “I’m probably just having that kind of month where everything is just feels like alot.” He frowns and you move the hand in his hair down under his chin, gently squeezing his cheeks and he chuckles.

“That’s perfectly fine, it happens.” You move the hand to trail up the left side of his face and place your palm over his forehead like you’re checking his temperature and it makes Charlie join in, prodding at Nick’s neck gently.

“There’s a lot going through your life right now, perfectly understandable why it feels overwhelming and such. Thank you for talking to us about it.” Charlie speaks softly.

“Of course. I don’t,” Nick pauses, opening his eyes with a flash of worry, “I don’t want it to feel like I’m shutting you both out or anything, or if it feels like you’ve done something wrong. I feel less weird thinking I’m overreacting, haha…” The laugh comes off flat but from the reassuring smiles from his lovers, he feels at ease.

“You’re not.”

“Nuh-uh.” You and Charlie speak simultaneously, denying such thoughts. It makes Nick laugh which sounds less forceful.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to talk about everything right now since I don’t even think I’m done… accessing everything but really, thank you. You both are my anchors.” If you didn’t tear up from that, your heart definitely did. Charlie gets up off Nick, letting go of the blond’s hand and tilts his head back with his hands over his face.

“Same, Charlie.” You cover your own face and lay flat against the blanket.

“I…” Nick trails off with another laugh and he sits back up which catches both of your attention. “Can we eat though, I’m getting a little hungry.” He gives a shy smile and you also sit up.

“Oh shit, what if the ice cream melted?!” This realization has the three of you shooting towards the basket, grabbing the packaged delights and simultaneously sigh in relief. They’re not melted… yet.

“Should we just eat these first and then eat the actual lunch next?” Charlie bites back a laugh, already opening up the plastic and pulling out the bubblegum eye Sonic, wasting no time to put it in his mouth with wide adorning eyes.

You and Nick watch him in amusement before opening your own. “I wanted this lime popsicle they usually sell but there were none.” You sigh before eyeing Nick’s container of airhead ice cream. He opens the top and it reveals the swirls of… red? Or pink and green.

“That’s funny, we saw those while we were at the store. There were these coconut flavors too.” Nick reminisces, plucking the taped but wrapped in it’s own plastic wooden spoon off the side of the ice cream container.

Charlie hums before looking down at the bitten into Sonic, “Why does Sonic have green eyes? Are they actually green?”

You all stay silent.

“I thought they were black or brown?” You speak in confusion.

“Right? Even blue….” Charlie tilts his head.

“Technically all of those are correct though they turn red as well… It’s the different franchises, I guess?” Nick furrows his brows in thought, scooping into his sour treat after freeing the wooden stick and eats away, wincing here and there. You watch with amusement.

The lunch date you can say with absolute certainty was very successful. You all catch up on things that have been going on and different shows you’ve been watching. Sharing ice cream, stuffing yourselves full with your Mom’s cooking – there was even a drink war? All you knew was one minute you were nearly done with your beverage and the next it’s being tossed in Nick’s direction as you try and run away from Charlie’s retort from you getting him seconds before. Ah, can’t forget the classic kisses shared under one of the many trees at the park and the newest photos stored in your ‘Nick & Char ❤️’ album, like the picture of Charlie ‘painting’ Nick’s face with whip cream. Where the fuck did you get whip cream from? Ask your mother.

Around the time you were all packing up, a teenager around your age ran up with their four other friends and inform you there is a nice walking trail – pointing towards the area where the park path splits, one continuing into a circle around the whole field and the other going into an area with rows of trees.

“Y’think we’ll get jumpscared? Like a haunted path or something.” You joked.

“They said there’s a nice stream down the path.” Nick smirks at your joking, placing a hand on your head and you puff out your cheeks, feeling them heat up a bit.

“Ah yes, you can take a nice swim in it when I push you in there, Y/N.” Charlie hums, quick to dart his eyes away when you flip your head in his direction.

“You’re so evil to me?” You watch him with wild eyes, mouth agape and he laughs.

“Do you think we’ll actually able to get in?” Nick ponders and you flip the wild gaze to him now.

“With us three, I’m sure we can pull it off.” Charlie responds with a menacing grin, mischief all up in his eyes and you’re playing ping pong with your eyes, flitting back and forth between them.

“I’m gonna be arrested today, huh…” Your boyfriend and bestfriend just giggle like evil people.

In the end, you three didn’t get in the stream’s water but there were some fishes so you decided to feel them the crust that Charlie didn’t eat from his sandwich and take some more photos. Nick had picked Charlie up bridal-style, getting dangerously close to the water and you record it all.

“Don’t drop me!” Charlie tightens his hold around Nick, fear and excitement in his tone.

“This takes me back to the beach…” Nick ignores his boyfriend’s pleas and spins around carefully.

“Do not reminisce while I’m in your arms, please and thank you?!” He exclaims and it makes you full on laugh, an arm over your stomach while watching the whole exchange happen.

It’s not long before it turns from afternoon to evening, you three return back from the area with Nick and Charlie debating on if they saw a deer or not. Charlie saying it was definitely there and Nick saying it wasn’t there.

“Carl Grimes flashbacks…” You hum and Charlie puts you in a headlock.

“Do not. I will cry right here.” He pouts and pulls at your cheeks, ignoring your protests. Nick watches with a soft gleam in his eyes, rocking the picnic basket back and forth with a hand.

You all walk down the sidewalk side by side once Charlie lets you go, talking about random things before Nick realizes the direction you’re going.

“Are we dropping Y/N off?” He frowns.

It catches you and Charlie off guard. “What? What makes you think that?” You raise an eyebrow. Nick points ahead and your house in slowly coming up in view. Ah.

“Ah.” Charlie speaks your thought and you both share a laugh. “No, we’re not dropping her off.” Charlie stretches his arms with a grunt before eyeing the bag strapped around Nick. “You brought pajamas and clothes for tomorrow, right?”

Nick nods, pursing his lips. “Still confused about that.”

You scoff in amusement and place a hand on your forehead with an endearing smile. “Nick…”

“Don’t worry, you’ll understand soon.” Charlie gives him a thumbs up, paired with a wink before darting ahead of the two of you. Nick flicks his gaze to you in question but you put on an act and shrug.

“What he said,” You pause for a moment, eyes burning into Nick’s, “Do you like stargazing?”

He moves closer to you, closing the gap and tugs your hand in his. The question makes him look up at the sky for a moment. “Mmm. Never tried it before? What counts as stargazing? I’ve… been in the car on trips and looked out the window…?” You give him a perplexed look which he returns.

“Alright, well-“ You chuckle, “That can… technically count? I guess? Just… Yeah.” You give up midway, tugging Nick along when you get closer to the front of your house where Charlie awaits. “You’re on your phone while you’re on a date? Tsk tsk.” You tut your lips in disapproval and Charlie startles.

He rolls his eyes, flipping his phone to the two of you bounding up the steps. “I was texting Saha- oops, hold on-“ He cuts himself off, flipping the phone back around with a nervous smile.

You glance at Nick before moving your hand to cover his eyes with your other hand. He gasps in surprise but doesn’t question it any further, grinning a bit. Facing back to Charlie you mouth the word, ‘Barbie?’ and tilt your head in confusion. He nods.

“You’re silly.” You remove your hand from Nick’s face and flatten your hand, tapping Charlie’s forehead in a chopping motion. He rubs the area with a laugh and you knock on your front door.

“Did you forget your keys?” Nick giggles when you give him a look of shame.

“Maybe.”

Your Mom is quick to open the door, grinning widely. “Welcome back. Hello, Charlie and Nick.” They wave in shyness and she scoots back to let the three of you in. “What’s the plan next, soldier?” She bumps the door closed with her hip and loosely crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow at you specifically.

“Gonna go in the back for about an hour…” You trail off, taking your shoes off in the most complicated way. With your feet, or the heels per-say. When you finish you take the basket from Nick and walk to the kitchen with your mom as the boys finish taking off their own shoes. “To stargaze.” You finally finish when Nick’s ears are out of reach.

She pats you on the back with approval, “Attagirl. How was lunch?”

“It was fun! We spoke a bit, ate and went down a trail.” You bounce your head to the side while listening the activities before pausing. “He seems more… energized?” Your lips purse.

“Was that a question?” She leans against the counter, one arm coming out of the self-hug and she combs her hand through your hair. You give her an awkward look and she breathes out a laugh. Tapping the crown of your forehead, she moves away to the fridge with a soft smile. “Well, if he seems to be uplifted,” She eyes you before taking out three water bottles. “That’s great news, no?” Then sets them infront of you on counter.

“You’re right but… I don’t know. I just feel like I can do more,” You huff. “But that’s dumb because of course I can’t, this has to be something Nick figures out and all I can do is support him.”

“Honey, that is doing more for him. Supporting him is the biggest help you can five someone, along with what you’re already doing. Taking him out, letting him have space to clear his mind and being a safe net. Same thing with Charlie, no?“ Her hands latch onto your shoulders and give the muscles a gentle squeeze. “I know it feels like you want to do so much more but, there’s only so much.” You tilt your head back and look up at her with a half-smile before relenting.

“You’re right.”

“A mother is always right.” She lets go and moves towards the stove, giving you a smug side eye… which you return with an unamused eyeroll.

“Yes, yes. My mother is always right. Sometimes.”

“About ninety-nine percent.”

“Ninety-five…” You lift an eyebrow and give her pointed look. She has a spoon in her hand when she looks over you and points it to her chin in thought, it’s just a bit though.

“Ninety-seven. Take it or leave it.”

You scoff in amusement before scooping up the bottles, “Whatever you say, ma’am. We’ll be outside.” She hums in understanding and you exit out the kitchen, walking into the dining room before reaching the living room where the duo waits.

“Pleasure for you to join us.” Charlie smirks and takes two of the bottles from your arms with a nod of thanks.

“Be welcomed.” Nick muses with a grin and cracks open the bottle, taking a quick refreshing sip.

“What is this speech? I hate it.” Your face scrunches up in disgust before gesturing to the sliding glass door. “Shall we?”

“Look who’s doing it now…” Charlie stares at you cheekily. You give him the finger, he returns it.

There are slides in a shoe rack near the door and you three take a pair before stepping out. Nick’s eyes widen in wonder. Your backyard has a big blanket – similar to the one from the picnic – sitting in the middle of the area that has a plot of grass and lanterns that hang off metal rods sit nicely around in the grass that have curves at the end, doing nicely as handles. What surprises you are the little bugs that fly and flicker with a yellow-green gleam in the air.

“Since when do we get fireflies?” You speak first.

“Since forever, Y/N.” Charlie poked your back and you jump, flipping around to get him back but he’s already slipped behind Nick.

“You little…”

“Ah, ah ah, you have to be nice to me.”

“Says who?” He’s being ridiculous.

“Says me. Your bestfriend.” He peaks around Nick’s side – who, mind you, is still focusing on the backyard’s look – with a teasing grin.

“I’mma beat you up.”

“No!” He lets out a laugh when you lunge towards him, twirling out of your reach and running around with you flailing behind.

It felt special to Nick. The orange-red sky turning into it’s pitch dark blue color, stars twinkling down on you three with a full moon bright. His eyes are stuck on his two partners, the fireflies swirling around them out of disturbance but still they still decorate the backyard with green-yellow hues, not ready to leave. He remembers this conversation you had in this backyard a year ago…

“Do you think fireflies come around this area?” You were sitting on a bean bag, legs tucked beneath yourself and were practically sunken into the ‘seat.’ Charlie had insisted you to put it on the concrete side of the backyard so you did and now your face is hidden behind Nick’s switch in your hands.

Speaking of who, Nick is currently soaked wet, wringing out the ends of his shirt and Charlie wraps himself up in a towel. It’s late night, pitch dark but they wanted to play with water balloons and your Mom happened to be out of the house to pick up dinner.

“Maybe…” He leans back to look at the sky. “Why? Do you like fireflies or something?” He looks back down at you. The question has you silent for a couple of beats before you set down the console. He watches you with an amused twinkle in his gaze, puffing out his chest in pride at seeing you in his sweater. Charlie had been wearing it earlier and you both traded before they brought out the balloons.

“I mean, I have never seen any so, maybe, maybe not.” You shrug, unfolding your legs and stretching them out with a groan. Your socked feet slap down against the concrete and you sit up a bit. “Don’t you think they’re kinda special though? My Mom said it’s like they’re glowing up your night, dancing around you and stuff.” You eye the floor. “Appearing on specials occasions like they know,” You lean back into the seat with a sigh, “Said that’s how she got married. Isn’t that crazy?”

Charlie purses his lips, tilting his head to the side before smiling, “Sounds magical. They’re the ‘true love’ bugs.” His smile widens into a grin.

“Exactly!” You snap your fingers with a nod, bumping your heel against the stone pavement.

“I’m sure they do appear out here though, don’t they come out at Midnight?” Charlie shivers while speaking, hugging the towel around himself tighter. You sympathize with a playful grin.

“Maybe. But well, you boys should get inside and warm up. We’ll try next time.”

“Nick! Are you gonna come and lay down?” He snaps out of his head, eyes darting to you and Charlie lying on the blanket though Charlie is trying to tap out from a leg lock you have him in.

He snorts in surprise, not missing a beat and closing the distance. “How the hell did this happen?”

“Nick! Help me~” Charlie wails before pinching your thigh, making you yelp and quickly let go.

“That is cheating!” You exclaim, rubbing your leg with a wince.

“All’s fair in war.” He snickers, reaching a hand out to Nick who takes it and sits down between you two.

It’s a nice silence between the three of you, you’re not sure who laid down first but you eventually followed. Nick has his arms wrapped around the two of you and you’ve glanced up at his face which shows contentment. You even met his gaze while peeking and it caught you off guard with how much his brown orbs were filled with much love and affection.

You reach a hand out towards Charlie and tussle at curls, making him whine in protest but lets you continue anyway. “I’m not good with constellations so you’re not gonna be getting that during this stargaze adventure.” You mumble against Nick with a laugh and it makes the other two chuckle.

“Nah, that’s alright… I’m happy with this…” You and Charlie freeze at how soft Nick’s voice sounds. Serene. Content. More than happy but not quite ecstatic. Filled with much love directed towards the two of you and it has your heart pounding.

You sit up on your elbow, making Nick’s arm slip off of you and he eyes you with suspicion. “Actually…” This would be way more comfortable on your knees so you sit up, tuck your calves beneath you and cuff Charlie’s face into your hands. It’s nearly laugh worthy of how quick his face turns a deep red and how you felt it happen under your touch.

You lean forward, careful not to face-plant into him – that would be awkward… and painful – pressing your lips against him. You both move into a soft but passionate rhythm. Your thumb brushes against his dusted cheeks, pressing hard against his lips one final time before moving back with a dazed grin.

He returns it, chuckling shyly before meeting Charlie’s intense gaze. You choke back a laugh with the swiftness of your friend sliding up a bit, hand softly cupping the side of Nick’s face and sharing their own kiss. Also very slow, and passionate. Your tilt your head up towards your house, eyeing the sliding door and sigh in relief to not see your Mom near it. By the time your gaze returns you’re meeting with the two boys staring at you with flushed faces.

“Oh my god, you’re so red.” You laugh.

“Shut up?” Charlie hands an arm over his face, probably burning up a bit more from the teasing.

The fireflies have died down, some still hanging around but you notice most are gone and a smile tugs at your lips. “Wanna go inside now?”

Charlie removes his arm with a sharp inhale and the two nod. “Do you need to bring the blanket in?” He points to the cloth when you all stand and you’re quick to shake your head.

“Nah. I’ll grab and wash it tomorrow,” You stretch your limbs, hearing some pop. “I need new bones…”

Nick sticks his tongue out in playful disgust, “That sounds horrific.”

“Wouldn’t that be crazy though? If we needed to trade in new bones when we’re old and seniors.”

“Y/N.” Charlie’s eyebrows bend and he grimaces, “Why do you come up with the most freaky scenarios.” It’s not a question.

“Yeah, like the apocalypse one from before.” Nick pitches in with a frown that falters into a smile.

You all step into the living room after you’re done turning off the lanterns and have grabbed your bottles, “Because my brain is so amazing that I just think of things you would never think of.” You make a gesture to your brain before wiggling your fingers like you’ve done a magic trick.

“Or so you say…” Charlie glances somewhere else before meeting your eyes, “Less would never think of more, shouldn’t think of.” He flicks his hand towards you, thumb and index finger out in a finger gun.

“Hey, these could be real life events soon to happen.”

“Yeah the bones theory would happen when we all become immortal.” He chuckles and you roll your eyes.

Then boom, jumpscare. Your Mom appears just as you’re settling on the couch. A screech leaves all of your mouths and she stares in shock with mild confusion and amusement.

“Hello to you three, too.” She giggles, walking over to the glass door, tugging the lock between the handle down and pulls the thick curtains down. “Enjoy stargazing?” She turns back around with a soft smile.

You three shift your gazes away. Apparently it wasn’t just you that still had the intimate moment in the back of your brain, huh? “Yeah, thanks Mom.”

If she noticed the slight awkwardness building up, she doesn’t mention it nor show it and instead clasps her hands together, “That’s wonderful! Dinner is finished so feel free to grab whatever you want. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” She fills you in on her own plan for the night which is pretty much staying in her room so you all have your own time. She then tilts her head, eyes spacing out until she perks up, “And then there’s brownies that are baking, should be finished soon. I set a timer so when you hear it please take it our for me, Y/N.”

You nod before frowning, “Why does it have to be me?” Apparently she didn’t understand from the confusion crossing her face. You then point to Charlie and Nick.

Charlie looks offended, “We are a guest?” but his tone is light.

“You practically live here? Your clothes are in my closet, mind you.” Nick and your Mom choke out a laugh while Charlie flares up, flustered.

“Nick’s are too?!”

“Which is why I included him in my pointing?!”

Two people are bickering, two people laughing at the scene. It doesn’t take long for you Mom to calm you both down, “It doesn’t matter who, it doesn’t matter if it’s all three of you. Please just don’t let them burn.” She chuckles a bit more before rubbing her hand against her collarbone to calm herself, “Have a great time. I’ll be in my room.” You all wave her ‘goodnight’ and she retreats upstairs.

You three share a silence. Then Nick speaks,

“…So what exactly are we doing? It seems you both are full of surprises today,” He wears a teasing look which makes you and Charlie look away.

“Don’t worry about it, mister. You enjoy the ride.” You talk first before nudging Charlie with your leg. “You put the movie on, I’ll go make our plates and...” You eye Nick for a moment not knowing what he should do.

“Nick, I put the backpack in Y/N’s room, could you go get it while we set up? Oh! The headbands too.” Charlie pitches in and grins at the mention of the headbands. You and Nick blink at him before standing up to dart down your own paths.

While you’re making the plates the oven timer does go off. You take a toothpick from one of the drawers, flick on the oven light, open the oven – making you flinch back from the heat – then poke the dark chocolate fudge goodness. It has baked all the way so you grab oven mitts and drag the pan of brownies out of it’s cooker, sets it on the stove and flick turn the oven off.

After making sure everything was set in the kitchen you grab two plates and exit the kitchen, back into the living room where the movie is paused on the TV right before it begins. Charlie stands up and helps grab the two plates, letting you dart back into the kitchen again for the last one just in time for Nick to return.

“Do you want drinks? We got juices, sodas, water, you name it.” You peak your head out behind the dining room wall and the two boys pause midway in putting on the barbie headbands. You bite your lip to hold back a laugh.

“Do you have that tropical mix?” Nick speaks and you nod, he points at you in affirmation of the drink then finishes adjusting the plastic accessory around his hair.

“Root beer, please.” Charlie speaks next before his eyes shine open and wide, “Do you think we can have floats…”

Your eyebrows perk up, “I think we have vanilla? But you’re not getting that till the brownies cool down.”

“Oh, they’re out? Thank Barbie.” He holds his hands up in a prayer.

You stare at him, very much unamused and he gives you a cheeky grin.

“I’ll have tropical juice for now then.”

With a thumbs up you return to the kitchen once more, grabbing three tall glass cups from the cabinet and grab the carton juice out the fridge. You fill up two cups before staring at your own. After deciding your choice of drink, you put everything away and startle while turning around and seeing Nick in the doorway.

“Sorry,” He smiles apologetically, walking up to you and grabbing the cups filled with juice that is his and Charlie’s. He catches you off guard once again, planting a soft kiss on your cheek before bounding off to the living room again.

“What the fuck.” You stand in oblivion, feeling your face heat up. You decide you won’t unpack that tonight, flicking off the kitchen light and rejoining your movie mates.

Nick and Charlie had switched spots to where the blond was in the middle like he had been all day and your boyfriend pats the free spot next to him. You comply, setting your cup on the table while sitting and you lean into Nick with a soft smile.

“You forgot this, kind ma’am.” Charlie grabs the plastic pink band and you lean forward. He puts it on carefully and leans back with a self-satisfied expression, grabbing the remote with a quite cheer. “Are we ready for the best movie night ever?”

You and Nick watch him with amusement, “Yes, Charles, we are.”

“Not Charles, I will fight you.” He shivers at the name.

“You call me Nicholas?” Nick speaks. It makes you laugh.

“It’s your real name.” He grins.

“Is Charles not your real name, Char?” You lift an eyebrow and he rolls his eyes, still wearing the grin.

“No, it is ‘Charlie “Char” Spring’.”

You let out an insufferable sigh.

“Y’know, Y/N has called me ‘Luke’ before.” Nick leans his head back with a scoff. This makes you have a full on belly laugh which makes Charlie react the same way. “Yes, yes laugh it away.” He sighs like he’s in pain.

It takes five minutes to calm down. You wipe a precious tear away, “It was on call too and he hung up. Would not answer for like, an hour.” You inhale deeply at the memory before laughing again.

“Should we start calling him Luke as a nickname?”

“Please, please don’t.” Nick squeezes the arm wrapped around Charlie’s waist with a pleading look.

“Awwe you can’t do that.” He pouts, reaching up to pinch Nick’s face.

“Dho wha?” He sounds funny with Charlie tugging at his face.

“The puppy eyed look. The doe eyes.” You bat your eyelashes at Nick when he eyes you from the corner of his eyes before rolling them.

“We’ve gone all dahy withosut this, nowh yuu wanna shtart?” Now he’s the one doing the insufferable sighing.

“It’s a daily mission.” Charlie nods, a serious expression crossing his looks – putting on an act. He then lets go and grabs the remote again, “Movie time!”

“Movie time!” You cheer afterwards.

You three are silent for a bit as the movie plays, you and Charlie cuddling into Nick. He plants soft kisses down your face and you flush a bit. Then he moves to Charlie, repeating the action, who giggles quietly and eyes Nick with a shy look. It makes you laugh under your breath and Charlie doesn’t miss it, pointing to you with a brow raised and expression saying, ‘Don’t laugh at me when you’re acting the same.’ You look away.

“Hey,” Nick suddenly speaks up and the two of you look over. “Thanks for today. It really helped calm me down…” He continues to train his eyes on the TV but his ears burn from you and Charlie giving him your undivided attention. “And reassured me about a few things…” He purses his lips.

“Reassured?” Charlie asks quietly, as if afraid to make Nick snap his mouth shut and not speak again.

Nick sucks in a breath and you shiver from his fingers crawling up your arm. You watch Charlie lift his own hand and hold the arm wrapped around him.

“Yeah. Since everything felt like it was crashing down, I don’t know. It kinda made me feel… negative? About certain stuff. Between us. Not that I’m not happy, I’m more than thankful to be with you two but just like, how you both felt towards me…” His pursed lips flatten and your brows bend at the way his eyes dim.

“Breaking up with me for example because maybe you felt neglected or such. It made me so scared to think about I stopped responding to both of your messages most of the time and barely wanted to call because you know, what if one day you just went, ‘Yeah I don’t think we should be together,’ such and such.” You both stay quiet to let him speak his mind and you hate that he ever thought such things.

When Nick stays silent you take a sharp inhale, meeting eyes with Charlie’s glossed ones. The sight breaks your heart. “Nick…” You start off carefully and he looks over to you with so much exhaust. Slowly, you cuff his face – the same way you did outside – brushing your thumbs against him cheeks. Your right hand moves down, playfully you press your thumb against his bottom lip and smile gently.

“I’m sorry that you ever felt that way. It’s far from the truth, sweetheart.” He lets out an airy chuckle and you watch with adoration. “Y’know brains come up with the craziest scenarios when you’re stressed and it’s annoying, and stupid.” You huff, left hand moving against his cheek and he leans into the touch. Your thumb and index finger latch onto his ear and you pinch it lightly. “Do you know that, that would never happen unless you came to me asking for such a thing?” You pucker out your lips.

He watches you in a daze before laughing. “Do you know that would never happen?” Then he turns to Charlie with a soft look. “And you, Char?”

Charlie rubs at his reddening eyes and inhales. He then nods, opening his mouth before faltering. You both give him and moment and he closes his eyes in frustration before heaving out a sigh. Concern is evident in both of your expressions but Charlie opens his eyes with a new look of determination, straight at Nick.

He smacks his hands against Nick’s shoulders which makes the latter’s mouth hang open in surprise. “Nick. I love you. A lot. It hurts to know that you were dealing with these emotions, but know I’m not blaming you. How could I? It’s not your fault. Never feel bad for needing to take your time to sort out your own feelings and what’s going on with yourself. We’d never blame you for that because in the end, you know we have you, right?”

Nick nods and you can see his own eyes get glossy as well. Charlie then looks at you, “I love you too, Y/N, don’t tell Tao but you’re my bestfriend.” He chuckles, wiping at his eye again and you wipe at your owns.

“Hey, he can be your guy bestfriend and we wouldn’t have to fight over titles.” You wink, before leaning to Nick and kissing him softly. “I love you both, very much so. I’m glad you were able to talk to us, Nick.”

“Was that your goal today?” He grins in a joking manner, tilting his head in the crook of Charlie’s neck while entangling his fingers with yours.

“Did it work?” Charlie sniffles a bit before laughing. You laugh as well, “This is ridiculous we’re supposed to be watching Barbie and now we’re sobbing.”

“I give up.” You throw your head back, side eyeing the TV.

“Nooo, don’t give up.” Nicks chuckles before sitting upright. “We can still watch… we should probably eat too.” He points to the lonely plates on the table.

“True.” You and Charlie agree. You three take a moment to collect yourselves with a few embarrassed laughs here and there before settling back down.

“What’s in the bag, by the way?” You gesture to the backpack under the coffee table as Charlie rewinds the movie back to the beginning. He glances down.

“Snacks.”

“It’s good.” You hum in approval, taking a bite of your food. The three of you enjoy the movie and dinner, later on making those root beer floats paired with the brownies. Charlie had explained to Nick that he was texting Sahar about the Barbie Movie and she told him she went with Imogen. Apparently, Imogen gives the movie a 2/10 because she messed up her outfit at the theaters.

“That’s terrible.” Nick stares at Charlie in shock but it doesn’t last long with the way his lips curve into a smirk, “That’s not her real rating though, is it?”

“Of course not, she loved it.” Charlie laughs.

You’ve been quiet this whole time but suddenly loll your head to face them. Nick already giving you an exasperated look when you got their attention. “Nick. Your new name in my phone is Ken Nelson.”

#.my writing #heartstopper x reader #heartstopper x f!reader #heartstopper x fem reader #heartstopper x fem!reader #i didnt do my typical ‘small text big text at the end’ its too much writing 💀 #i rlly dont fully like this but !! didnt wanna keep it stuck in the drafts #again LOTTS of writing im sorry Jfhfjfke #nick and charlie x f!reader #nick and charlie x female reader #technically… #nick nelson x reader #nick nelson x female reader #nick nelson x f!reader #nick nelson x fem reader #nick nelson x fem!reader #right?

[ariesbilly]

What do you think about a deaf billy AU?

where Neil moved his family to the middle of nowhere Indiana because he knows 80s bumfuck nowhere doesn’t have a lot of support for disabled ppl and hates his son (as we all know)

At first billy tries to hide it, he had gotten used to learning how to read lips and make inferences on what people were saying, if he happened to miss something? He’d just brush it off, saying he wasn’t paying attention.

Billy might have a slight deaf voice, Neil probably came along with his “no son of mine” spiel so Billy had to learn how to speak as Neil thought was “normal”.

Steve begins to notice something different about Billy; slowed reaction time, really focusing on people’s faces, etc, and brings it up to Joyce.

Joyce, concerned, waits until the next time Billy is in her store to ask if everything is okay. Billy panics, he thought he was doing perfect, if he doesn’t his dads gonna kill him, so he very quickly excuses himself out of the store.

Maybe some further concerned Steve and Joyce? Teaming up to help out Billy? 🥹

i am into all of this. i wanna say way back in the early days of the fandom there was a deaf!billy fic i read.... or it was steve. or it was neither of them and im thinking of another fandom entirely lmfao anyway!

this would put their little staredown at tinas in a whole new context...honestly it puts a lot of billy scenes in new context that boy loves to look and watch and observe.

i would also like to bring in cali bros argilly and say that argyle and billy learned to sign together back home bc neil surely wasnt going to put billy in classes and surely not learn himself, maybe billy had teachers at school who helped? but argyle wanted to learn too since they were besties and he was really the only person billy could talk to after that. so when the hargroves move to indiana billys on his own again and since he doesnt want to out himself as being deaf and ask if anyone knows how to sign, he just pretends to be aloof and like he doesnt give a shit about what anyone says to him (which isnt like... untrue lol)

if he and max still have a bad relationship in this au maybe she hasnt bothered to learn how to sign either cuz like... why is she gonna need it to talk to billy? they dont talk period

steve calling billys name when hes not looking trying to get his attention and it never working so a lightbulb goes off in his head and he starts writing notes to see if that works and sure enough...

joyce picking up books from the library and learning very basic signs for the next time billy comes into the store. she's just trying to be polite but it still makes billy panicky that someone knows. ooooh if neil and billy come into the store one day and she overhears neil giving billy shit about not listening to him and how he needs to get his shit together etc etc and she immediately decides this man needs to be put down like she is not having it but she also knows theres not a whole lot she can do right now besides make her presence known and get him to back down.

steve helping billy out in the classes they share together and even in the classes they dont he finds a way to get notes from other people without letting them know its for billy, and billys constantly wondering how steve keeps pulling this off but steve wont reveal his secrets. them developing this silent language on the basketball court that makes them unbeatable... many thoughts many thoughts

idk how joyce and steve end up joining forces in all of this but i know they do!

#harringrove #billy hargrove #briana answers things

[sea-jello]

every single little detail they managed to fit into bmc

yeah there are SO MANY details in this show and its driving me crazy so im gonna amass everything into posts

ik many of these are well known or obvious or whatever but im doing it so anyone who didnt know about any of these could easily learn it all in one go without having to scour the internet or rewind and watch the background in every single scene yk (also i noticed so many of these myself and im kinda proud and its a way for me to get it all out)

i’m also going to be using @/thesquirrelqueer's be more chill archive which is amazing and frankly scary so go give em some love

edit i changed my mind halfway through this cause thats gonna take me forever so if you want to see all the visual details go check that out. its like thats the artists reference and this is the writers reference i think all the little quirks showcase their personality quite well

im gonna start all the way from the beginning so FIRST UP is 2river's "More Than Survive" (album+show, specifically the one 35 minute 👢)

im telling you its LONG so prepare yourself for that. maybe pull up the video to watch side by side so yk what im talking about (the video on yt is "this isnt be more chill" because its NOT be more chill) tiny warning for very mild nsfw mentions cause its bmc

from the first "c-c-c-cmon" up to "and now of course its time to hit the road" theres a sound that sounds like a mouse clicking to the beat in the background. i thought this was to reflect the show when jeremy stops clicking at his laptop at the line "and now of course its time to hit the road" to gets up and put his pants on, but during "but that really isnt such a change/if im not feeling weird or super strange" you can still hear the clicks. maybe its there just for repetitions sake cause it breaks off at "which means ill be uncomfortable all day" and resumes for those two lines, then you dont hear it again. you can hear this one very clearly if you watched the show, but its a little fainter in the album (i figured it out from the album lmao go me)

during the bus scene in the show when everyones going to their places, jeremy almost crashes into rich and you can hear his voice hitch

christine watches this interaction before "sitting down" on the bus to read

i think brooke is asleep during the bus ride, and gets woken up when the bus jerks forward

jake nearly drops his phone too (again this is all based on the 35 minute video on yt. im sure small things change every show, but this is all we got so im picking this one apart)

jeremy keeps smoothing his hair behind his right ear with his palm, probably a nervous gesture. he does it when they "get off the bus"

during the ensembles (i dont think thats the right word but it just makes it easier for me you know who im talking about) "c-c-c-cmon", michael loses his signal on his phone when they get to school, hence the "cmon"

chloe impatiently gestures to brooke to "cmon" and follow her (yk)

jenna waves to christine. christine puts her book down and waves back, then again just watches jenna and then people

rich messes with jenna and she goes to hit him

after the "c-c-c-cmon"s rich jumps out from backstage and hits jeremy in the nuts you can hear jeremys faint noise of pain

in the little dance break jake and jenna are dancing on opposite sides of the stage, then wave at each other (im pretty sure). jeremy looks back and forth between them while they dance and mistakenly waves to jenna when they spin around (just watch it youll know what i mean)

when chloe, brooke and jenna are gossiping, up to jakes "its a good thing i rock at pool" the "rich set a fire" tune plays in the background (something something gossip rumors) chloe is holding a textbook with the earth on it, so science or something probably. there’s a magazine article page that says “what cheating does to [i can’t see what it says]”, which i’m assuming is a reference to jake?? she also have page cutouts of hair products, straighteners, etc, and i think a picture of either taylor swift or brooke i really can’t tell 💀💀when rich writes on jeremys backpack, he pulls him up by the collar to say "youre dead", then pushes him (jeremy pushes his hair back again) into mr reyes' path where hes walking to put up the play sign up sheet. (side note gerards voice cracked on 'dont touch me tall ass" so it sounds like hes having a tantrum and will connolly looks like a meerkat and i love them both)

when jake says "its a good thing i rock at pool" chloe and brooke hide behind a pillar and listen in, then chloe does a sort of "i told you so" gesture. during the whole "i navigate the dangerous hall" scene, brooke chases after chloe as she storms off upset. rich messes with jenna again and she chases him offstage, then mr reyes follows (im pretty sure he pinched her ass) i dunno if this is a coincidence but christine runs after them offstage too. christine and jenna friendship w

jeremy genuinely sounds so excited when he realized it was a sign up sheet and i wholeheartedly believe he wanted to join the play even before christine, she was just the final push

when the ensemble comes back out before the "christiiiiiiiiine" mr reyes comes out dragging rich by the ear while jenna smugly walks behind them (read back to him pinching her ass). rich flips him off after he lets go. jake walks past chloe without looking up from his phone and chloe does a 180 to chase after him. forgot to mention michael has his hood on and bops to his music in the background of all the ensemble scenes but yk its pretty well known

oh god class scene here we go. rich and jake make the 👌👈 sign at michael. rich very aggressively shoves his WHOLE HAND into the circle and opens his hand. jenna raises her hand and mr reyes brushes her off in favor of trying and failing to get jake to stop, so he moves on to rich. he puts a hand on richs arm and sorta makes the "wtf" gesture. rich makes the "sorry about that" motion with his hand still around his wrist which is kinda funny to me (just watch it i cant even describe it) jake turns to talk to brooke, who was previously talking to chloe. jenna waves to christine again. also christine seemed really shy every time jenna waves at her, and never waves first. idk if this is a coincidence but chloe flips her hair back and brooke mirrors it right after. there’s a poster for an anime club on the bulletin board with the sign up sheet

MICHAEL

jeremys fucking bops to his intro i love him

really quick when michael goes "and were almost at the end of this song" and does his dance jeremy bops along with him. NOW if we stretch a bit and say this actually happened then that means jeremy knew what song he was listening to/where hes at based on him dancing to it earlier they know each other so well they are best friends and possibly boyfriends in this essay i will

jeremy flops his head to the side on the beat and with michaels "how was class" slap hes so dramatic

i think i might be tripping but right after "i hate this school" and during the tore it up and flushed it thing michael in the bathroom plays very very faintly in the bg. IM NOT TRIPPING in the album mitb plays during the humanity stopped evolving thing up to "better time in history to be a loser". and THEN from "so own it" up to the christine jingle THE PANTS SONG PLAYS. you can just barely hear it in the boot too

during the first "canigula" michael waves in front of jeremys face and he kicks at him

before jeremys sign up verse michael takes his lunch tray and jerks his head towards the sheet in a "go on" motion and then ofc pushes him towards it HES SUPPORTIVE OF HIM HELLO this furthers my belief of jeremy being a secret theatre kid. jeremy looks back at him on "who cares if people think im lame" like hes reassuring himself can you hear my heart

when rich shouts "GAAAY" mr reyes points and goes after him

when they all come out to dance, jeremy first mistakenly waves to chloe when she waves at jenna, then rich when he goes to dap jake up, then tries to wave at michael but he spins away while presumably listening to his music. christine just watches chloe and brooke talk again

when they all start slowly standing up at the "go"s jeremy looks so confused

also when he jumps off the chair that is PEAK meerkat moment. then he lands and just stands there for like a solid 3 seconds its so funny to me

LORD almighty we're done that took weeks okay uhh please tell me if i should do EVERYTHING everything like broadway off broadway australia cause lord knows im the ceo of bmc australia rn also i dont want to sound pretentious but please reblog cause i spent so much time and effort on this useless fucking post 😭😭 but whatever i had fun

#WOW i am so normal about this fucking show #also a while ago i learned fucking joe iconis is in fact on tumblr so mr joe iconis if you see this hello you have a very nice musical #shoutout to thesquirrelqueer for giving me permission to use the archive even though i ended up not using it #like i said thats the artists reference and this is the writers reference #watching the background gives you a lot of insight into the characters #i tried to seperate them into sections i hope its not too hard to read #im heavy tagging this idc im not spending so long on this for it to flop #bmc #be more chill #be more chill musical #bmc two river #be more chill two rivers #jeremy heere #michael mell #rich goranski #brooke lohst #chloe valentine #jenna rolan #jake dillinger #christine canigula #bmc jeremy #jeremy bmc #michael bmc #bmc michael #rich bmc #bmc rich #bmc brooke #bmc chloe #bmc jenna #bmc jake

[writingsofwesteros]

ok idk if this is just self induldgent or not but

a strong girl, born between jace and luke. always been quiet, a bit beyond her years in her diplomatic decision making and problem solving. she has the repuation of being the most level headed child to have blessed the targaryen family line. the type that, if lets say aegon were to try and be mean to her s children, she would be very quiet, fair, make no fuss, and maybe have a little cry in her room if it really hurt - no need to even respond back or cause a fuss, i can just see this sensitive, well-read little child being like “its okay mother, aegon just enjoys saying mean things to everyone” type vibe. she spends most of her time just reading in the library, can also see her favouring spending time with alicent cus, despite her young age, she is emoitonlly intelligent and can see something isnt quite sitting right with alicent. will overindulge her in a bit of love, grandma ali this, grandma Ali that - "will you please braid my hair grandma Ali? i wish to braid yours too, its beautiful, i wish i had your hair"

shes not very into physical touch of words of love, not her main course of hsowing care at all. but she will gladly let her mother cradle her sometimes when she feels her mother needs it.

OKAY ONTO THE MAIN THING NOW

when theyre all still children, i can see aegon being frustrated with her because of her personalitiy, problem talks about her in the same vein as he talks about Helena. but hes also desperate to get her care too, wants to invoke any kind of emotion out of her, as long as its directed at him, he loves it - hes always found it easier to get a reaction through hate or negativity than love or care, hence why hes always a bit more cruel and poking towards her.

Aemond - im not entirely sure. could see him maybe joining in with the boys if they begin teasing her, happy to not be the epicenter of bullying, and he also fits in and feels brothership - the only time he gets to feel that because otherwise, they bully him instead.

jace and Luke are just regular sibling relationships, half the time they tease each other, the other half theyre close etcetc.

aged up, to teens/late teens now. she`s still the same - soft, wise, level headed, a touch shyer now. can see the blacks return being a bit more joyous for alicent because her sweet little grand baby is back now :) she cant wait to see what thats going to be like :) probably wants to betroth her to Aegon/aemond so she can keep her in her vicinity, she really built bonds of love and trust as a child with her.

aegon definitely makes the quips he did as a child, but now theyre a bit more lecherous, flirty, suggestive. think the dinner scene and his commetn to baela, he definately mentions that if they were betrothed, he would waste a day, and she could find herself extremely.. satisfied in her marriage to him.

aemonds a starer. he stares. shes in the library? hes staring. shes in the garden or godwoods? hes staring. this boy is a bit of a silent puppy just hoping to be in the same area as her

can see alot of taunting and teasing over her not being married/fiance to anyone yet. like how its always mentioned that jace and luke are strong, theres many many things said about her being pure, untouched, a little wife. aemond wants to trace every little freckle on her exposed upper back and collarbone when he catches them.

could be cool if jace has been trying to get her to fancy him since she hit puberty, so the three of the boys have no choice but be in the same boat - trying to figure out the key to unlocking her heart, making her desire them, sexually and romantically. What does she find attractive and how can i become that??

(also very self indulgent, but i can see them getting jealous and a bit volitile if, lets say cregan stark <3333, ever ends up catching her eye somehow. like theyre trying so hard to pick out the formula of a man youd want, spying on all the books you read, trying to see if theyre romance and what kinda guy stars in them.. just for cregan stark to rock up and, he might not even mean to, but he gets your cheeks heating up a bit. gods theyd be so pissed) cregan stark is sihtric from last kingdom in my head<3)

Damn, I love all of this so much. Such beautiful thoughts.

I love how Aemond is a starer - that had me chuckling a little too much cause it's so true.

Sweet Alicent really deserves better and maybe this is a bridge for families to begin healing. (Daemon would always be a worry tho).

Don't get me started on Cregan Stark...I can't wait to see what season 2 brings for him. I love how he doesn't mean it but she's blushing and probably following him around a little bit

#ideas that need writing #a healing bridge

[kx0e]

RAHHHH TYSM FOR ASNWERING MY PREVIOUS QUESTION!

So. I had 3 problems-

1. Constant study but no results

>I make sure I atleast spend 2 hours atleast twice a week doing full body or partial body sketches with references (from lineofaction🔥), and have been since 2021, but going from barely any art ability to now, all i've managed to do is drawing things from the neck up☠️ No matter how many different kinds of faces or perspectives i try its always the 3/4 side view. And i can barely even draw a recognizable jawline😭 (but then on any whiteboard or public art thing its as if the spirit of a medieval master artist possesses me)

2. motivation

>how on this earth do you stay motivated to draw your favorite fandoms😭 theres tons of shows i LOVE or games that I adore, whos characters i literally am obsessed with, but once i pick up a pencil its as if I've never seen them in my entire life💀

3. I know youre not really an oc artist (understandable, if I had the ability to draw genshin and/or persona characters forever, i WOULD.) But if you do have any, is there any specific place you got inspo from? a lot of art advice i see is to turn an object or concept into a character of some sort, but no matter where I look, and how inspiring it is, as previously stated, all traces of muscle memory delete themselves the second i pick up a pencil☠️

Have a nice day, Im really bad at explaining i apologize, and TYSM for hearing me out💖

long reply

1 - maybe doing some theory rather than drawing could help you, if you study the human skeleton and muscle you might understand more how the body works and therefore how it must look in different poses (read MORPHO). Other advice is to trace your references with basic shapes and landmark (just a cube and a cross for the face) and then do your study, you can also do quick studies focusing on only one part of the body but draw it under all angles (the thing is to not rush, if you have trouble drawing the face as a whole, draw all the element separated and add them little by little)

2 - this honestly depends on the person, im someone who loves fandom art but i have zero OCs because im not interested, dont force yourself to draw things you dont want too it usually ends up looking bad anyway !

3 - i do look at objects first when doing character design, but i also like to look at plants or in fashion history books. Most of the time i first do a global search on pinterest to find the general idea and then go to more specific sites depending on what im going for

i think you should take your time and draw only when you're in the mood for it, when you feel motivated pick up a pen and DONT THINK just draw whatever

remember art takes time, patience and a lot of practice, dont force yourself and draw for yourself first ^^

#ask #hope this helps

[rocaillefox]

orv spoilers ahead

something something kdj is so affected by his childhood trauma that he hates kim namwoon because he hates how he can see himself in knw, the first scenario not only evens the playing field ("everyone in this world is a murderer") given kdj killed his father (in self defense. unrelated but i have to include this lest i misrepresent him), but further deepens his own guilt and distance from everyone else since even with king of no killing, its- borrowed, in a way. stories becoming reality, and though his actions are lauded by others in the first scenario, undoubtedly he has that guilt while hearing others compliment him on finding a way to get out of the situation without murdering a person. BUT on the FLIP side, this scenario also sets the groundwork for a later forgiveness of himself, his actions being different here establish exactly how far he was driven when he was younger

tbh im just starting my orv reread but this scenario and everything going on with lee sookyung is also so relevant in context of how kdj views himself. it isnt outwardly stated but a large factor- due to kdj's self sacrifice- in their relationship isnt only kdj's denial and his focus on stories, but also kdj's self-hatred. he hates that his mother wrote the book not just for its exposure, but that she has the same self-sacrificual tendency as him- and that it makes it even harder for him to sacrifice himself for her in turn, because he cant do anything to save her now. its a very complex situation and i dont want to oversimplify their relationship- some of the emotions are clearly straightforward. but kdj is a notoriously unreliable narrator with a trend of self hateed, and orv itself is metatextualy implied to be a reconstruction of his pov through his interactions with other characters- his viewpoint colors so much of the story, but he isnt an author. his choice to write his own story has been taken from him, just as lee sookyung chose to write their story before he could- and in doing so, protected and saved him, albeit in different ways.

how many books have been written solely for him? his mother's book, ways of survival, orv- three books written just for him, at least. and like- lee sookyung deserves way more prominence in fanworks tbh because the situation she was in is an unbearable one, and the relationship she has with her son strained at times, but- and this is vitally important- it is complex, and done out of love, and like. so much of orv is about accepting the past, acknowledging it cant be changed, but also helping you come to terms with the ideavthat unfortunate things, malicious things, happen. sometimes situations suck. but in those situations you are still human. you are still full of worth regardless of the actions you have been forced to do, of the ways you have had to survive- but also, to remember to keep choosing to do what you can, and that you have to make that choice.

theres so many fucking layers to this book. i could pick any one topic and write a full research essay on how orv tackles it. genuinely, it is a masterpiece that comments clearly on so many topics- and more besides that i havent even picked up on im sure! and besides what is explicitly written, theres so many layers of implication, of potential interpretation, of cultural weight and literary tie-ins, of symbolism and allegory and constructed metaphors/similes, that for every sentence written there is another five of potential explanation behind them. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

#orv #orv spoilers #abuse mention #parent death #but because of those layers theres SO MUCH to keep in mind when writing orv fanfic #that it is SO easy to mischaracterize these characters or to assert something that #just completely goes against someone elses interpretation unintentionally

[the-kipsabian]

card, draw and gimmick! :3

Card ~ If you could pick the matches for a wrestling event who would be in it and for what event? oh my god i have so many faves i would book to win tbh LMAO. i dont often fantasy book outside of my favorite storylines, so im just gonna stick this with one current dream match, but im just waiting for kip sabian vs speedball mike bailey to happen. i dont know how realistic that is since idk how open speebo would be with appearing in aew and kip doesnt do indies (yet?), but. i want it lmao

Draw ~ List 5-10 qualities about your favorite wrestler(s) that caused you to be fan of him/her/them? 1. hes just incredibly hot okay. like im not gonna sugarcoat it i first noticed he was cute and it was all downhill from there 2. his wife is hot. again, not sugarcoating it 3. hes funny as fuck 4. hes british. he has an accent. im gay 5. CROP TOPS 6. he has talent in the ring that captivates me like no other. the way he arches that back and moves those legs. again, i am Gay 7. hes also stupid as fuck (affectionate) 8. hes a nerd 9. he just keeps it real. like hes not above talking about things related to his life and career, he has opinions hes not afraid to share, if theres a thing he wants to talk about he will 10. hes also one of the nicest fuckers out there like. genuinely. he will stand up for other people. hes an ally. he goes out on his way to make sure others are good and comfortable. ive never seen him interact badly with a person who didnt deserve it (we talk like trolls or just assholes in general). he always takes and makes the time. hes just. so fucking wholesome

i could list so many more but lmao sorry

Gimmick ~ Your favorite and/or least favorite gimmick match? -OR- Favorite & least favorite gimmicks? i have a love/hate relationship with any and all gimmick matches so im opting out from answering that LOL buuuuut as for character gimmicks - its not a secret i love whatever the fuck orange cassidy is doing and has been doing for years now. his character is legit the reason i wanted to tune into aew since the beginning after all lol. another im gonna credit is monday night messiah seth rollins cause i was absolutely off the walls about him during the pandemic era. come back to my life you stupid crossfit jesus <3

as for least favorite gimmicks. i dont wanna say when a guy doesnt have a gimmick, but more like.. when a guys gimmick is "just some guy". like hes nothing but a shit brick house in speedos like. why should i care lmao. i usually dont hate gimmicks, some are extremely stupid sure, but i enjoy idiotic garbage so who am i to stay anything lmao

wrestling asks ~

#thank you for asking! <3 #thetimecrystal #you let me ramble about kip i hope youre happy LMAO #also no i didnt mention kip as my favorite gimmicks cause i have no idea what the fuck he is doing right now #boxman? TOP TIER S RANK LOVE HIM. whatever the.. sex idol is? im confused in aroace lmao #i still love him. just give him time to perfect some sort of a character right now tk im beGGING you #..anyways hi #wrestling musing

[a-lukewarm-take]

buddy, i understand why youre so confused. cause i am too.

i understand the whole things yeah, the 'harassing people is bad', 'mind your business', etc etc. but other than that im lost on whatever the hell this 'pro' and 'anti' stuff is. ive just been not interacting with that, i think those pro anti people call it being 'neutral' im pretty sure. anyway i think the whole concept is pretty dumb, but its the internet. i wouldnt be surprised if someone doxed someone else over ice cream flavors

what ive for the whole thing is this: pro in proship stands for 'pro' as in 'for' for shipping/ship and let ship, anti is the opposite of that. antis believe that fiction can influence people, pros dont. pros believe what you like in fiction does not dictate your morals, antis dont. etc etc

my tip is this: keep far far away and ignore everything about those two things. if you dont wanna do that, well, try not to get too lost in the sauce while listening to both sides and keep your mind open

sorry if you already knew half of this and this is just kinda null, have a nice day

I'm not big on lables. I think theres a pretty reasonable middle ground to be had but I doubt either side is going to actually listen for long enough to figure this out. It would be nice if they did but, this is the internet.

"Pedophilia is bad" 

can coexist with

 "Fictional characters aren't real and doing reprehensible things to them has no real life victims"

 aswell as

"Fiction and the way objectionable content in fiction is framed has historically been used as propaganda to enable or encourage harmful behavior irl." 

They're not contradictory unless deliberately misinterpreted and exaggerated via a bad faith rube-goldberg of causality.

Books like Lolita play with framing in a way that a lot of mainstream readers miss the point of, especially readers that expect Lolita to spoon feed them the morals as many other books would have. Whether or not a reader is aroused or horrified by Lolita has nothing to do with their own morals and everything to do with whether or not they picked up on the fact that the narrator is an unreliable monster justifying and lying to himself when it comes to the girl in the novel. 

Art is complicated and some audiences, no matter how hard the author tries, are going to interpret that art in a way the author did not intend or even pervert the meaning to support whatever worldview they had before encountering the work.

Sometimes stories show you an oversexualized and glorified depiction of a repugnant act, explicitly because they trust that this framing would make the audience uncomfortable. The titillation is intended only as a gateway to vomiting or a profound sense of horror as it highlights that not all bad things are prevented and that this world will not punish the unjust inherently. It's asking you to wallow in the tragedy. 

There are surely stories that have no such deeper meaning and are quite simply porn. The line is thin and blurry. When you censor one you run the risk of censoring them all because someone unprepared to think critically about what the media they consume is trying to say, is going to miss the point.

Censorship is a difficult thing to manage and everyone has a right to distrust the powers enforcing it. 

You can believe strongly that there is media that does more harm than good whilst also understanding that very rarely is this the direct or intentional fault of the creator or consumers of the work on an individual level. But rather cogs in a larger system to which individuals can participate much in the same way we don't blame the butterfly for the hurricane. You can fight for censorship without shaming or harassing the people who don't want it.

I'm sure someone else could explain this better than I could and I'm open to being wrong about this. I certainly don't have all the answers, that's a part of being human.

-Luke

#proship #antiship #ask #discourse

[ginnsbaker]

https://www.tumblr.com/ginnsbaker/720963002130710528/i-hate-reader-so-much-like-all-of-their-actions

Hii so I don’t have an emoji but can i be 🧃(if its taken let me know and I’ll pick something else) and im just gonna reply to some of the things you said :)

I get the delayed onset ptsd thing because it actually happened to me after a really bad relationship and I didn’t even realise i had ptsd until i was in therapy (partly cos i thought i was being overly dramatic 💀)

Also i kinda feel like the only anon who isn’t actually mad at piet because even tho he cheated himself in that situation hes playing a role much more important to him and thats protective brother which is made worse by the fact his sister is his only family left and she almost died EVEN WORSE the same way as a parent

Im glad you said something about yelena being fucked up cos no one else was and I thought it was just me i definitely agree shes the least fucked up so far but that isn’t hard when wanda and reader are right there i think yelena is in love with the idea of reader and who they once were rather than who they are now like reader is not the same one yelena loved all those years ago but she doesn’t see that. Everything you said in your response about yelena makes sense to me i think we’ve all at one point thought we could “fix” someone or at least tried and in my circumstances that never ends well because you can’t fix people like that especially not when they don’t help themselves. One of my favourite quotes is “sometimes, we have to be broken down so that we can be rebuilt into what we’re actually meant to be” and i think that’s what’s happening here the reader has been completely torn down until their last atom and trying to feel whole without rebuilding. I think that quote could also apply to reader and wanda’s relationship in a way. But yeah i get why yelenas sticking it out we’ve all done it with someone who definitely didn’t deserve us but love makes you do weird things especially while you still have the rose tinted glasses on i hope for her sake she takes them off soon

I haven’t got too much to say about wanda (surprisingly) but you’re right and that quote from the perks of being a wallflower has been in my head while reading this for a while now. You’ve also made me think more about my views on cheating because until i read your book i never thought I could forgive a cheater but there’s something about the way you wrote wanda that makes me want to and that was from really early on probably when reader is talking to nat and wanda comes i think in the diner. I can’t really explain why i think part of it is because in my own experience when my gf cheated on me the thing that bothered me the most was I couldn’t tell what parts of my relationship were real and all the times she said she loved me i had been lied to. In wanda’s case for some reason i still don’t think she ever lied about loving the reader and i know thats a contradiction because she cheated but theres just something that makes me think that and part of it might be i still don’t understand her reason for cheating and like i said am waiting for a big hoaxy reveal that is was blackmail or smth because thats how little it makes sense. I was actually planning on keeping this part brief so my bad 😂 but i hope she has therapy and learns to view herself better and accept love and i mean read love not being used.

Reader is definitely the villain of the story i know theyre trying to hold it together but surely they must realise the damage they are causing snd the GIANT need for therapy

🧃 Emoji is yours :) I don't have many anons yet, so much of the emojis are still available.

I'm sorry to hear about the bad relationship you had. No one deserves to go through it, although it happens to a lot of us. But thank god, we're survivors, aren't we?

Yeah, thank you for saying that on Piet's behalf. I'm an only child, but that only made me more protective of my friends who I treat as my siblings. My best friends have all cheated on their partners at one point in their lives and I had numerous fights with them for it, but at the end of the day, I'm their ride or die, I will protect them at all cost.

Well, said about Yelena. Can't really add anything more to that.

Re: Wanda - with your own experiences, I think the greatest struggle is the trust. That was the one that was broken, not the love. (Am I correct?) You can't trust your past, your present and your future. And that is such a struggle when you love someone, but you're not certain if it's real for them. Thanks for sharing something so personal, even if you're on anon.

I'm going to tell you as early as now, there's no big, shocking reveal that will make you think "oh, so i get why she cheated, because of that reason, maybe i'll give her a pass". Like you said, the cheating makes little sense. And that's the biggest conflict in the story-> it doesn't make sense, why do it?

The only reveal I can spoil is Wanda's own fucked up childhood and the little issues she has with her marriage to R that piled up unknowingly. R is good, and faithful and supportive, but it doesn't mean you can 100% supply all your partner's needs. Like I said, in IFISS which was told in R's perspective, R thought her marriage was perfect and loving. But did Wanda feel the same?

Whew that was long! But I live for these kinds of discussions, because I haven't let any friends in real life read this story, lol not even my gf cause she's not really a reader.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts :) hope to hear from you in the next chapter.

#ilgoss asks #🧃 anon

[bisognamorire]

Beloved and dearly missed A.,

Happy Friday!

I am unsure what you would think of me writing these, because isn’t this kind of ‘not letting go’? But I thought: for me it is in a way, because I’m not asking for a response or acknowledgement and whether I type it out or not is a bit of the same, because I would tell you in my mind, if I wasn’t writing it down. I always want to talk with you. I always miss you. And you know I am always delusional and pathetic.

Two days ago, I had some nervousness inducing conversations with my therapist about me being dissociated most of the time, up to the point that I even dissociate in therapy sessions and can’t really process or understand/accept what is being said to me. And that I feel anxious to ask questions because I worry my therapist might not be honest to me when I ask her to be upfront (which is ofc my own trust issues) or might feel I’m annoying her.

We then looked closer at that cycle of dissociation and anxiety. I felt horrified to see how torn that inner insecurity (almost a grappling for the perception of reality between the “trauma brain/adult brain”) makes me feel and act at times. Sure you remember. And to get a sense of all the potential damage that volatile dynamic can cause others and myself.

This week has started with many people calling in sick to work, so I was obliged to take on more shifts than I originally had. Needless to mention that that isn’t very pleasant. I feel rather knocked out by this week. Patients and coworkers have been rather rude too — it reminded me of the time you worked in the city museum front desk. I, too, experience the general public’s madness everyday. So many bizarre things that I can’t possibly write it all down or remember it. I was once asked out of the blue, mid conversation, by a grandpa whether I was wearing a wig. An other patient complained to me that his taxi was taking too long to pick him up, but he apparently hadn’t even called one (?). Then the general babylonic discourses with russian people who are unfazed at me telling them I don’t speak russian and who proceed to speak russian anyway… 🫨

Im just constantly tired and exhausted— it reminded me of that little sketch you drew of yourself of rotting in bed and saying ‘surely theres a better way to live my life than that’.

Yesterday I rolled over in bed and stared at my wall. My blanket had wrapped around my torso tightly. I remembered you hugging me like that in the bed you had set up for me in your room on that last night and just began to cry horribly.

Not all that I feel can be expressed in words about all that.

I’ve also not slept very well all week and woke up in the middle of the night. I suppose dad and you are haunting me in my subconscious.

But — on to more ‘joyous’ things.

You know how I read up about the Somerton Man (scary) and I was very intrigued by the process of identifying him and just the mystery around that ‘Tamam Shud’ from Omar Khayyam’s Rubaiyat in his pocket. I had wanted to have a copy of that for myself (there are such nice editions with art nouveau illustrations which you would surely appreciate too) and went to a nearby antique book store after my massage last Saturday. They had a battered 1913 copy (unfortunately without illustrations) of it and some of the poems really resonated with how I feel.

Heres some of my favourites:

Three days ago the rest of my Yamato Cosplay unexpectedly arrived in the mail, so I took some joy out of completing the costume for now. I feel like my inner transmasc oni was turned outward finally! 👹

For my birthday last year Sharon’s boyfriend gifted me a box of Basilur Green Tea assortment from the russian supermarket in front of my house. I usually don’t like green tea, so I only tried it recently. In that assortment they had a few sachets of milk oolong tea, do you know it? I love it now. I drink it with two or three spoons of sugar and a bit of milk. Its not as irritating to the stomach as the Earl Grey I favour, maybe you can try it? ♥️

While we are on the topic of Earl Grey — after I have completed a cosplay of Transmasc Oni Yamato (my alter ego) I am now thinking of doing a Ciel Phantomhive or Pinocchio from Lies of P cosplay, just because they’re both giving off that assholish midget horse-lady Laurent vibes, which — as you know — is also my alter ego 😏

I’ve been doodling a bit in the evenings after work (I’ve not drawn something in so long, and why? for who?), and listening to anime openings etc. Sometimes I wonder if it is a bit cringe that I still gain joy from the same things I had when I was 13, living with my parents back then and feeling utterly lonely (still do). Here are some of the things I’ve drawn:

The first one is depicting how I feel when I am experiencing an episode of mania (also, also, blood thing/our Laurent, self insert?). I called this emotional state ‘Archangel’, because it isn’t actually me, or thats how it feels at least. It is this righteous entity, that is entitled to anger and vengeful feelings. He is 100% sure his feelings are justified. I don’t often experience the archangel or that inner ‘surety’ of my own perception, of reality. But when I do — not only does he feel anger, he also punishes me bodily for — by proxy — feeling anger through him. He humiliates me. It is almost as if I was taking on the persona’s of the people who abused me as a child. Who disallowed me from standing up for myself, and who discouraged protecting myself from them, who disallowed me from feeling angry. I am not allowed to be upset.

I’m sorry if thats tmi and makes you uncomfortable, you know I’m always too open.

The second one is Romano and Antonio in the traditional clothes of the Fallas Carnival in Valencia. This year is the tenth year anniversary of me first visiting the city (I can’t believe it! I have memories of 10 years ago!!) I booked a one week vacation there for March to go by myself and finally see the Fallas! Valencia’s main festival! I’m very excited to drink Horchata de Chufa and draw some Antonio/Romano doodles and take naps. I also booked a tour to see the atelier’s of the artists building the statues, that will surely be interesting. I already wish I could send you a postcard, but I’m not supposed to, am I? Maybe I will get one anyway and just post it here and then add it to your little box of things I keep.

Again, I’m looking forward to rest and play my video game on the weekend, when I am off (I’m currently trying to level myself up to take on that acid monster in the Cathedral of St. Frangelico) 🙄

Thinking of you fondly at the sight of the stars & moon,

your Sabo

[jxpcloud]

journey into addiction

this might be a bit of a triggering one even for me

im coming to terms with alot of shit tbh and one thing most therapists like you to talk about is your childhood. dint get me wrong im pretty sure i had a good childhood. my parents spit up when i was 7 but that was the only "bad" thing that happened in my childhood and honestly it wasnt bad, they split up because theyre lives were going in different directions which is weird considering they had two kids but they had been together since they were 17 so i kinda get it. but im currently being treated for bipolor or bpd (they are commenly confused) and both hold strong to childhood trauma. you do not need to have childhood trauma to develop these its just more common. thinking about it i dont know much from my childhood. and childhood being a very big term as i have to think from the ages of 2-16 and im only 17 but my brain has block alot of shit out and sometimes i feel sad and i cant even remember why cause my brain has just decided to not let me know what flashbacks im having. im awear im having flashbacks to possibly somwthing traumatic but i dont even know what but it stunns me for a while to say the least.

anyway i was doing a deepdive on myself which, inherently dangerous, did bring back a memory. self harm. theres a trend circulating on tiktok at the moment where people reveal stupid shit theyb did and tell theyre youngerselves that its not worth it and many that come up to me are self harm related. i had a think back to when i first started to injure myself and i remeber 11yo me taking a compass to my arm. even then i felt pathetic because i was too nervous about an actual blade but it made decent marks that healed in a matter of days and that continued on for a while. but what pushed me to do that? i mean it couldve been the media i was exposed to alot of that kinda stuff peak 2016 tumblr tbh or maybe i wanted something phisical to externalize what i felt on the inside. i mean i wont sugar coat it, i saw people with marks and thought i should have marks too since im also stuggling with my mental health. not the smartest idea but thats how i made the pain physical. anyways i didnt get found out until i was 14, nothing really had changed but i was using a badge now that had a bend in it leaving the needle more exposed and sharp. mother had taken that away from me pretty quick but continued to not understand and took the classic approach that i just was attention seeking and then proceeded to give me no attention. shes alot better now at understanding. but its an addiction and i contuned up until maybe three weeks ago, my boyfriend saw some fresh ones and genuinly hugged me and gave me something that i needed to hear. i cant promise that i wont relapse and i didnt, but i promised to communicate and thats more impostant as its better than thinking im stopping cold turkey.

this wasnt really my point.

back into early childhood, primary school days, i had extreme anxiety. this is one of the only things i can remember. i remeber when kids were running and having fun i was worried about getting sunburn, or falling or genrally getting into trouble. its honestly concerning that nobody picked up how horrifically anxiety ridden i was as a child but i was just labled as one of those kids. a distinct memory i had was barely getting told off by my mum for something and refusing to eat for the rest of the day while i was in my room uncontrollably sobbing and hitting myself with the heaviest book in there. i was five. she probably thought i was throwing a strop but i remeber beating myself u til everything stung and i was exhausted. i didnt really get told off as a child and i think that was probably the only time but i would always feel so guild ridden that when i did make a mistake, when when told it was fine, i would continue to deny myself food and beat myself until i was a mess of tears and bruises. this is genuinly going on five to six year old me. its no wonder really how i developed an eating disorder thinking about it. but my violent tendencies started at five years old and have developed into more violence and years of trauma that i caused myself. no one really teaches kids how to handle there emotions, probably because they dont usually handle them like i did but someone should probably teach kids this shit before they destroy theyre little bodies

so yeah self harm is a tought action nailed down by addiction and the weird happy feeling after. i dont really want to explain that one. on a more postive note i wrote this out to stop myself from heing violent towards myself and i think the urge has passed now :)

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

honestly trying to come up with the perfect book club book for pride month is killing me I know I SHOULD have the perfect answer but I absolutely do Not

#its hard bc it has to have complete balance #and theres so many books out there i want to make sure im picking a good one yknow #but i want it to be queer as a central theme bc pride month but not just gay fluff and have clearly something to talk about #the easiest answer here is felix ever after but man oh man oh man do i nog want to reread or have to talk about that book #ugh #personal

[coolspacequips]

*begins to feel the ominous pull of yet another au idea....*

#i came into this month w high hopes!! everything has fallen apart for me tho #im trying to put creative energy into a project to maybe help channel these feelings #halloween is my fav time of year and it makes me sad that im so sad this time around and whats better for that than making a spooky au #its not that spooky and its a dumb idea but its hard because the book is a fucking tome theres a lot of story and a lot of characters #a LOT OF MOVING PIECES #but theres a particular element that makes it highly cathartic 2 me so i think im gonna dig it out and try to read it #idk how far im gonna get bc its a bIG FUCKING BOOK (THAT IVE NEVER FINISHED LMAWEOFEFOJ) but it weirdly means something 2 me #the thing is tho........... im trying to make it a shance au but it might not be #i think allurance as the main ship actually works better for it awfojew it could maybe even be shallurance tho if i get creative #but there are seriously way too many moving pieces and a few heavy themes that im trying to figure out how to interpret #like its a period piece and modeled in the style of books in the period so theres some bad shit about how u know... #commentary on how women mentally ill ppl (particularly women) and black ppl are mistreated in society and how their voices are lost #and thats kind of integral to a lot of themes but i dont want 2 put any voltron character into like the shoes of #a black man in olden days where he is free but slavery exists #THATS A LOT #even tho they DID take the only half black paladins family and put them into slavery and no one elses lmao thnx dw #anyway these tags got out of hand im think9ng out loud im just chattering while i try to figure out who should be who in this crossover #also im sure ive made the book sound boring (and it kind of is) but its also exciting (just a really really slow burn) and about magic #LOUD HUFFS predictably i only know where lance belongs in his au #my fav of the two protags NATURALLY but he really actually is a good pick for this role #like the allurance/lotura love triangle possible here is very powerful (except lotor would be fixated on allura and she wouldnt even know) #oh shit though this indirectlky reminds me of the poto au DAMMIT #BOTH GOOD TIME PERIOD SPOOKY DRAMA AUS THAT ARE ALL ABOUT ARTISTIC SPIRIT INTEGRITY AESTHETIC AND WHAT IT MEANS 2 BE HUMAN #HELP. #text posts #feels good to tag vomit again lmao so weirdly typing all this junk lifted my mood #whats up say hi if u got this far do ppl even read these damn things?????? #my mad ramblings?????????/

[4ngeldusstt]

Sweet and violent

A/N: (cute ash and fluff) this is random i dont really know what the fuck is this or how i got the idea i just wrote and this came out anyway next thing imma give u it’ll be better i promise <3

Warning: none

Word count: 830

Part 2

Today was your favorite day of the whole year, the one you waited for and everyone that knew you was aware of how much you loved it.

Halloween.

Since you where little your parents made this tradition of making halloween night like christmas, each year they put up decorations all around the house, you would watch horror movies and bake cookies with your mum, just like christmas night but spooky and they would give you some little gifts that fitted the theme, this year you got spider web socks, candy and a book about this serial killer that you’ve been wanting.

Like every year, there was a party going on tonight and for sure you were going, you’ve been planing your outfit since last year, you tried so hard to outdo each years costume and people awaited to see what you came up for each year.

Kat picked you up along with your friends, but before going to the party y’all made a little stop at Fez’s store to get some drinks and some of your friends wanted something to get high, Fez was your best friend even though you were head over heels in love with him, but keep it a secret. Your parents loved him and ash so much they even got ash a present this year. You were so excited to see his reaction that you couldnt wait to give it to him so you brought it with you cause you knew you were going to stop by.

“Hi fez!” You said entering the place a smile appearing on your face at the sight of him

“Ay babygirl how you doin’?” “Damn ma look atchu lookin all pretty, come on give me a lil spin let me see u in that lil costume of yours.” He said grabbing your hand as he gave you a spin making you let out a little giggle, he was admiring every detail, you did in fact look beautiful.

“How’s the night going? Whatcha got this year huh?” He knew for so many years and for a fact knew tonight was your favorite thing in the whole world.

“Spider web socks and a book about this serial killer that i wanted sooo bad.”

Some people might think you were weird, but for him you were just perfect, he loved hearing your talk about true crime and murders even if it was a weird topic, he loved to see how your eyes lit up talking about the things you were interested in.

“Thats cool ma.” He flashed you a smile.

“I almost forgot, my parents left a little present for ashy at my house!”

“Oh shit really? Thats sweet he’s in the back.”

You gave him a nod as you entered a fridge that lead to a not so secret room in the back of the store.

“Hey y/n! Happy halloween, you look pretty.”

“Thank you sweetheart, here, this is for you.” You gave him a paper bag that had Ash written in the front. You could see his face lighting up.

The bag contained some halloween candy, chocolates and a game that he’s been wanting for the longest time, it was quite violent but knowing this kid it was nothing he was scared about, he’s seen and done some shit.

“No way!! Oh my god y/n! Thank you so much, i’ll come by tomorrow to thank your parents too in person.” He gave you the biggest hug, he was actually happy and it made you all warm inside to see him act like an actual kid.

“Im glad you like it little one.” You said patting his head, as fez entered the small room.

“Look bro! Theres so much candy in here and look, the game i’ve been wanting!”

“Thats cool little dude, you happy?”

He nodded happily bringing the plastic case to his chest.

Before heading out you stopped right in front of Fez “I got something else for you but you’ll have to wait after the party, but here’s something.” you gave him a cherry sucker and winked at him.

“See you at the party?” You said before exiting the room.

“Of course ma” he was mesmerized, his only thought were attempts to discover what you had prepared for him, why after the party?

“See you guys later, love you” they both said their goodbyes back as you exited the store making your way to the car with the rest of your friends as Maddy entered to get some stuff she needed really quick.

“Hey fez, is ash in the back?”

“Yo mads, wassup? Yeah he in the back.”

After she got her stuff she stoped facing him, with a teasing look in her face.

“You know? We went shopping yesterday and y/n got some cute stuff from Victoria’s Secret, you can guess what your surprise will be.” She said laughing and made her way out, leaving just Fez in there, thoughts running through his head.

“fuck, this girl is going to be the death of me.” He mumbled to himself.

#fez x reader #fezco fluff #fezco x y/n #fez imagine #fezco #fezco euphoria #fezco x you #fezco imagine #fezco x reader #fez x y/n #fez x you