#and therefore complacent with where I am. either way I have no drive to do basically anything other than the fact that shit will happen

[zeta-in-de-walls]

Themes in the Dream SMP

Hey guys, I’m kind of into analysis. I tend to like examining character motivations and why they take certain actions rather than speculating on lore and theories. Heh but right now the fandom is flooded with egg speculation. I am very curious about the egg and where the story might lead though! So I thought I’d look at it in terms of themes the story might end up exploring. 

Themes are certain ideas/concept that keeping coming up in a work and get explored. Good themes can be traced from the very start of a work and carry on through to the end - they’re like threads that run through a work. Strong themes can help a story to feel more coherent and satisfying with the way they can tie a work together. Now the Dream SMP may be a bit of an improv roleplaying server but somehow a few themes can end up cropping up anyway.

What themes are there in the Dream SMP?

Here’s a few I identified, I guess they are topics that interest me? Also certain POVs may have different themes. I don’t watch Fundy myself but I’m pretty sure his viewpoint has some strong themes that are rather unique to his story. Certain arcs may have very strong themes as well which aren’t explored over the narrative as a whole.  

-Power/control. A very common theme in stories. What drives many characters is to seek out power, either to have control over their own lives, or over others. The leadership of L’manburg was hugely important in S1. And now many individuals are hungry for power especially the powerless who have been pushed around by others for so long.

-Corruption. Linked to the above. Often when seeking power, people can become corrupted by it and their ability to control others with it. Dream is an excellent example. Wilbur as well. Technoblade believed corruption was inevitable and that any concentrated power was bad. But is it inevitable? Or were the systems just a little flawed? Is a way to handle power sensibly?

-Words over violence. More of a S1 theme but I’d love to see it explored more. L’Manburg most notable was not wearing armour because they believed in fighting battles with their words, not violence. Technoblade challenged this, believing violence is the only way to be really understood.

-Attachment. This is a very strong theme, one really ties the whole story together well. It’s most explored in the Tommy vs Dream conflict but it’s also noted that every character get attached to things and that’s what so often drives conflict. Yet these attachment can also inspire and unite people. Dream sees attachments as a way to control others. Attachments are both a strength and a weakness.

-Complacency/Neutrality The server is marked by many wars but in every conflict there are those who stay on the sides. Those people may see this as a strength but those who stay neutral are most in danger of being forgotten. Likewise, staying neutral may be allowing disaster to happen. In Doomsday one striking thing was how many people stood on the sidelines. L’Manburg was not merely destroyed, but abandoned. And now with the egg, it’s been in the background for a long time and it’s been overlooked. Now people are finally paying attention but is it already too late?

-Seeking Peace. After all the conflict on the server, many character long for a lasting peace. Both Tubbo and Tommy just want to have a quiet life, with Tommy staying independent and working on his little project while Tubbo builds Snowchester as a safe haven with nukes to discourage any who wish to challenge his peace. Dream also had his vision for a peaceful server by way of him attaining absolute control over everyone, crushing any sort of defiance. And now the egg, it means to take over the world and in doing so will try to unite everyone under its control. The people will lose their free will but it may mean an end to conflict too.

-Choosing People over sides. An interesting yet messy theme which became prominent with S2. When two people are in conflict is it possible to help both? Or are you inevitably choosing a side? Or is this just another impossible view of utopia where everyone is united under the same side, (like Dream envisioned) and there is no need for any conflict?

-Revenge/Forgiveness. When someone hurts you, can you reconcile or should you seek retribution? Once you suffer a betrayal is that relationship broken or can it be fixed? Does you own pain justify hurting others? What is too far? What is justice? Probably not the most consistent theme but I really like the few times when this topic does get explored.

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So, those are a few concepts that stick out to me about the Dream SMP. There’s probably more (like I was kinda thinking on one about history repeating itself/destiny or something about becoming what you hate maybe) also yeah, themes are probably not necessarily consciously thought of by the writers but that doesn’t mean they don’t end up trying to fulfil the themes and ideas that their story has started exploring.

SO that said, i think it’d be very cool if the egg arc really starts to challenge some of these themes. What’s interesting was how Bad, I believe, chose the egg because it had Skeppy and he wantd to be with his best friend. I wonder if perhaps therefore the egg will continue to use people’s desires to control them. 

It creates an interesting parallel with Dream, trying to get people attached so he could control them. I wonder if Dream has any connection to the egg. It was discovered a long time ago now, during the Pogtopia arc I believe(?) and maybe that reflects Dream’s descent into villainy when he began to stop caring for his friends. and the eggs been so much more present this season as Dream’s also become increasingly detached. Maybe it means nothing. Either way it’s interesting how love and attachment may be used against the characters again in this fight against the egg. And whether love and trust in others might be a way to defeat it? 

I also found something poetic about how they placed vines within L’Manburg’s crater and its one of the places its growing very vigorously. It was once a place with so many memories and with so much meaning and in its place we have the egg. 

As I alluded to above, if the egg were to consume everything, there would be no more sides, no more conflict, everyone would be united in one ‘big, happy, family’ and there would be peace. Yet it’s like a warped vision of their beloved SMP. It’s peace, yes, but not the kind of peace anyone wants. The egg is terrifying. 

And its spreading and it’s going to affect everyone. (And if they can’t be infected they will be killed.) So the time for neutrality must end! The people couldn’t band together to save L’Manburg because they’d lost faith in it, but it’s not too late to save the SMP if everyone were to band together and fight for the server they all love. Many of them did it once to imprison Dream. To do this, they might have to put old grudges aside, but it can be done. 

As to why it affects people differently, I think we’ll be given an explanation. I’d be intrigued if it was to do with attachment or maybe something about power and corruption. (Metawise I’m pretty sure Tommy was unaffected because it woud seriously muddle his character to have a supernatural force messing with his head when his story had been a somewhat realistic depiction of manipulation and you do not want those two to mix and harm the impact of the exile arc.) But yeah, not sure what the reason is right now, but I figure they have one in mind already.

I’m liking this Egg arc. It seems like its been really well-planned and set up so I’m looking forward to seeing it all realised as I bet they have some great plans ahead and they potential for it to fit in with the existing themes would be amazing and again help the SMP as a whole to feel really satisfying and cohesive. If it wants to be wildly different of course, that can be great too, but everything seems very cool. Do love how it involves a huge cast of characters too - it’s very ambitious!

#dream smp #meta #analysis #heh this is how i like to analyse media #fun that it can be done even in new media #there's a lot of love that goes into the smp and it shows #long post #bloodvines arc #the disc war

[bestworstcase]

Sugracha for the character ask, if it’s not too late?

it’s never too late to talk about my GIRL

What I love about them:

i could probably write a whole ramble about how the disciples are an evil mirror of the main trio even though tts failed abysmally to take advantage of this bUT suffice it to say sugracha is just evil rapunzel™️ and i love that for her. actually no not suffice it to say because i need everyone to understand that i am absolutely dead serious about this and it goes WELL beyond them both being artists -

1. they approach their art in diametrically opposed ways rapunzel is all about expressionism and has a very loose, colorful style whereas sugracha is exacting and detailed, approaching art as a way of seeing - we could also get into how painting is for rapunzel a means of processing the past whereas for sugracha it’s a means of determining the future tbh. the point is they stand at totally opposite ends of the artistic scale.

2. rapunzel’s friendliness and genuine love for people is hampered by her lack of social skills, understanding of societal mores, and poor empathy/inability to really listen to people - this is a recurring thread. sugracha’s friendliness is made sinister by her malicious intentions but she has the charisma and keen understanding of what motivates people to successfully lure people in - she has an insightfulness that rapunzel does not which enables her to succeed in ways rapunzel could not.

3. rapunzel’s passion is exuberant and unrestrained and indiscriminate: she is excited about life and people and learning new things, she wants to see the world and experience whatever life throws at her. sugracha’s passion is singular in focus and tightly controlled, which i would argue makes it more potent because she can channel the full force of it into pursuit of a single goal, which again is not something i think rapunzel could sustain.

4. the obvious reading of PB is rapunzel as a representation of choice and sugracha as her natural opposite but i find it very interesting that sugracha specifically uses the phrase “making difficult choices is part of life” and rapunzel ultimately rejects this by saying “making difficult choices is what makes us who we are” (i’m paraphrasing here so this is not an exact quote). because! quite apart from the whole mind control issue, rather than being a compulsion vs choice issue i like to read this as a choices are imposed by external forces (life itself demands that we make choices) vs choices are motivated from within (our intrinsic desires demand that we make choices) aND.

4a. this distinction imo is what defines their relationships with zhan tiri (this is getting wildly into headcanon territory with sugracha but please bear with me): rapunzel views zhan tiri as a force or being antithetical to the world she wants to live in and must therefore repeatedly make the choice to stand against her because to do otherwise would be to deny the demands of her own heart; meanwhile sugracha views zhan tiri as a natural, inevitable force and the choice to resist that—to not embrace zhan tiri and what she stands for, to not be consumed with obsession for her—is to her just as unthinkable as submission is to rapunzel.

5. which is an interesting contrast because rapunzel as a character is incredibly passive - she is a reactive protagonist throughout all three seasons and seldom if ever takes the initiative to drive the plot forward herself, with most plot progression coming from either the assistance of secondary characters or from the attacks of villainous ones - whereas sugracha is incredibly active - the instant she’s released she constructs and executes an intricate plan to free zhan tiri.

5a. what i’m getting at here is i think rapunzel’s intrinsic motivations are very weak which leads to her not acting unless she is acutely in distress or otherwise in crisis, whereas sugracha’s external motivations are so profound and all-encompassing that she has no choice but to act.

ANYWAY. all of this to say that i really do think sugracha represents the worst extremes and excesses of rapunzel’s flaws: even the externality of her art and her choices are in a way reflective of rapunzel’s passivity - where rapunzel relies on intrinsic motivations that only compel her to action when the situation feels truly dire or when other people force her to make a decision, sugracha is focused so thoroughly on exterior goals and passions that her intrinsic desires don’t even matter…so unlike rapunzel she is literally incapable of complacency or being paralyzed by indecision, both of which are things rapunzel’s weak intrinsic motivation and hesitancy to commit to choices lead her to struggle with.

and i am just…completely obsessed with all of this i think about sugracha CONSTANTLY

What I hate about them:

why in the FUCK was she only in one episode

Favorite Moment/Quote:

“my dear, whether or not they fall is completely up to you. finish my spell, and i’ll spare them. the choice is yours.” bonus points for the fucking SICK animation as she transforms from her ghost form into sugarby again.

i also love the way her voice sinks and unfolds out of the cutesy old lady voice she affected as sugarby when she reveals herself as sugracha i hear “please, sugarby was merely the vessel i chose to suit my purpose” and i go bonkers every time

What I would like to see more focus on:

i would like it if LITERALLY ANYONE BESIDES ME wrote about her. 14 fics on ao3 and two of them are mine and seven of them are weird kink fics with a gazillion characters tagged -__-

What I would like to see less focus on:

no 💚 ask me again when more people have given her the attention she deserves

Favorite pairing with:

i’m very fond of gothel as sugracha’s shitty ex i think it’s very fun

also like she definitely crushed hard on zhan tiri back in the day we’re all in agreement about that right

Favorite friendship:

they literally do not interact in canon but she and tromus both have such strong personalities that the evil brotp basically writes itself

NOTP:

do people ship her with tromus. he is a man and she is a woman so i can only assume that someone somewhere thought ‘i bet they were tOgEtHeR’ and. no 💚

Favorite headcanon:

*crazed waving at the third act of benighted*

#rta #gbbjdncjbhdh BEST DISCIPLE

[monochrome-in-madness]

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My Top 10 Favourite Horrors

Within this top 10 list, some will include the prequels, sequels and any other follow ups as 1 ranking number. Some may be considered thriller, sci-fi, suspence etc, however, I do regard these as horrors myself.

I have take many aspects into account, such as videography, actor quality, SFX makeup quality, soundtrack, directors, CGI etc.

Note : this is my personal opinion. You do not have to agree with it, though if you haven't seen these, I highly reccomend them.

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1. The Conjuring

(1 & 2)

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The Conjuring 1 :

The Perron family moves into a farmhouse where they experience paranormal phenomena. They consult demonologists, Ed and Lorraine Warren, to help them get rid of the evil entity haunting them.

The Conjuring Trailer :

The Conjuring 2 :

Peggy, a single mother of four children, seeks the help of occult investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren when she and her children witness strange, paranormal events in their house

The Conjuring 2 Trailer :

My Opinion :

The Conjuring was the start of an incredible series of horrors that beat any other horror to the ground. It is absolutely fantastic and I basically worship these films. James Wan is my favourite director and he never ceases to amaze me.

Paranormal horror is my favourite and as someone who actually believes in the paranormal and who has had paranormal experiences, I can confirm that The Conjuring is much more realistic than any other paranormal films, which just makes it extra spooky.

The actors, camera angles, music, sfx makeup and storyline is just - chefs kiss -. I've been waiting for the 3rd one for so long, but they keep extending the release date. (R. I. P)

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2. Annabelle

(all of them)

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Annabelle :

John and Mia Form are attacked by a Satan worshipping couple, who uses their doll as a conduit to make their life miserable. This unleashes a string of paranormal events in the Forms' residence.

Annabelle Trailer :

Annabelle Creation :

Samuel and Elle embed their daughter's spirit into a doll, only to realise it is a demon. Years later, they open their home to a nun and six orphan girls, one of whom finds the doll.

Annabelle Creation Trailer :

Annabelle Comes Home :

Judy and her babysitter are left alone in her house after her parents leave to investigate a case. However, an unexpected guest sets Annabelle free, unleashing demonic activity in the house.

Annabelle Comes Home Trailer :

My Opinion :

Another great film series that was birthed form The Conjuring. Definitely less realistic, with many more jumpscares and spooky characters, which is appreciated in the horror world. Many people find dolls far more creepy than ghosts, myself included, so that's another perfect aspect that adds to the suspense.

I prefer Annabelle 3 over the others, mainly because I found that one to be more scary overall, even though Daniela is an idiot and she makes me so frustrated 😂

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3. Saw

(all of them)

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For the totally unindoctrinated, the Saw movie franchise revolves around the Jigsaw Killer (a.k.a. John Kramer), who tortures victims he believes are complacent or guilty, in order to make them appreciate their time on Earth.

All Saw Trailers :

Obviously I'm not going to list every Saw movie, because there are 7 (Jigsaw aka number 8, does NOT count. It is a disgrace).

My Opinion :

A classic for horror and gore lovers of all kinds. Of course I need to list this as number 3. I simply adore these movies. I even have the DVD set, so I am definitely a long term fan haha.

The obstacles and creativity regarding Saw as a whole needed a lot of thought put into it, plus it has a happy little side note of "make sure you don't cause harm to others in life and don't take anything for granted" which some may have not even noticed while being overwhelmed by the amount of fake blood.

Yes, a lot of characters are annoying, but that just makes us enjoy seeing them tortured even more (shh it's not real). Some of the blood doesn't look very realistic, the sfx can lack attention, BUT... It's still great and I can overlook these few flaws to appreciate the movies to the max.

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4. Blair Witch

(2016)

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A young man and his friends venture into the Black Hills Forest in Maryland to uncover the mystery surrounding his missing sister. Many believe her disappearance 17 years earlier is connected to the legend of the Blair Witch.

At first the group is hopeful, especially when two locals act as guides through the dark and winding woods. As the night wears on, a visit from a menacing presence soon makes them realize that the legend is all too real, and more sinister than they could have ever imagined.

Blair Witch Trailer :

My Opinion :

I love the camerawork. Not because it's perfect, because it's the opposite. It's a documentary style and this makes it feel more realistic, as if you are within the film yourself. I enjoy how they skip to the action at just the right time after a mild buildup.

The visuals are great as well and there were definitely some parts where I was disgusted and claustrophobic, which is good to experience while enjoying these types of films.

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5. Under The Skin

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Disguising itself as a human female, an extraterrestrial drives around Scotland attempting to lure unsuspecting men into her van. Once there, she seduces and sends them into another dimension where they are nothing more than meat.

Under The Skin Trailer :

My Opinion :

I would classify this as horror, but many won't. Either way, this is an amazingly artistic film with beautiful imagery and silent awe. It definitely makes you feel the suspense in a calming manner and it has some really dark moments. Without reading the description, one might be confused as to what is going on, but how art is supposed to be interpretated is by the imagination of individuals.

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6. Veronica

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During a solar eclipse, young Verónica and her friends want to summon the spirit of Verónica's father using an Ouija board. However, during the session she loses consciousness and soon it becomes clear that evil demons have arrived.

Veronica Trailer :

My Opinion :

A Spanish masterpiece, to put it simply. It's hard to find proper horrors like this in English. I really enjoyed this one and I watched it subbed not dubbed, because I feel like voiceovers tend to ruin the art of the original film. The buildup is perfect and unlike many horrors, it barely shows you the face of the "monster". That leaves it to the imagination, which in general makes it far more scary.

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7. Underwater

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Disaster strikes more than six miles below the ocean surface when water crashes through the walls of a drilling station. Led by their captain, the survivors realize that their only hope is to walk across the sea floor to reach the main part of the facility. But they soon find themselves in a fight for their lives when they come under attack from mysterious and deadly creatures that no one has ever seen.

Underwater Trailer :

My Opinion :

This movie was released quite recently and I didn't know what to expect. I was definitely blown away by how good it was. Being trapped underwater gives most people a sense of anxiety. Add being trapped underwater and being hunted by creepy sea monsters and you've got yourself a good horror. Kristen Stewarts general anxious personality definitely suits this film well.

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8. Split

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Kevin, who is suffering from dissociative identity disorder and has 23 alter egos, kidnaps three teenagers. They must figure out his friendly personas before he unleashes his 24th personality.

Split Trailer :

https://youtu.be/84TouqfIsiI

My Opinion :

An incredible film with phenomenal acting on the part of James McAvoy. You can get lost within his character and almost feel as if you are the character itself. Suspense is built up slowly and the climax of the film is released rapidly. People I know who do not enjoy horror, love this film themselves, which is saying something. It's definitely one of the best modern films that draws you in from the start. 

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9. A Quiet Place

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A family struggles for survival in a world where most humans have been killed by blind but noise-sensitive creatures. They are forced to communicate in sign language to keep the creatures at bay.

A Quiet Place Trailer :

https://youtu.be/WR7cc5t7tv8

My Opinion :

As you can tell by now, I love anything alien related. This film has some of the most amazing looking aliens I've seen, I was honestly in awe by how great they looked. Another silent film, but in a different sense to the previous one. Instead of being the hunter, this family is being hunted and this adds more to the fear factor.

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10. Unfriended - Dark Web

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When a teen finds a laptop with a cache of hidden files, he and his friend discover that the previous owner has access to the dark web and is watching over them.

Unfriended - Dark Web Trailer :

https://youtu.be/XenTM_C9fxM

My Opinion :

A modern take on horror. Involving the actual dangers of the dark web and the use of technology and turning it into a horror was a magnificent idea. It definitely had me at the edge of my seat.

Due to another film type that is not often explored (thus being that most of the movie is equal to what it would be like to look at your computer and video chat), it makes it different and therefore more compelling than the usual videography styles.

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Thank you for reading, if you've made it this far! Feel free to share your top 10 in the comment section, I am definitely interested in your opinions and finding new movies to watch myself. Any questions are also welcome.

Until next time, take care and stay spooky!

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#Horror #Horror movies #Horror films #Review #Movie review #Horror movie review #Horror fans #The Conjuring #Annabelle #Saw #Blair witch #Under the skin #Veronica #Underwater #Split #A quiet place #Unfriended dark web #Scary #Spooky #Spoopy #Dark #dark side #Paranormal #Supernatural #Witch #Witchy #Ouija #Spanish #James Wan #Youtube

[dearest-alexander]

You Are The Reason Chapter III (Tom Holland x Reader fanfiction)

Summary: "I could be anything in the world, yet I wanted to be yours. But you don’t love me yet…or do you?“ The whole world thought you’re together but something’s stopping you, something’s stopping him.

Summary Chapter:  Volunteering for a good cause had never been this rewarding and humbling yet.. 

YOUR POV

I’ve been friends with Gabrielle ever since I could remember. My early childhood pictures were not complete without her in it . She was also with me during the funeral of my grandfather. I remember how her small chubby  hands tightly meshed with mine as they lower down his coffin. Even at such a young age, she was intuitive, benevolent and selfless. Whenever I fell down and scratched my knee, she will rub my back to soothe me until our moms came hand in hand with the first aid kit.  Those were the very reasons I knew why she’s gonna be a brilliant doctor. We remained in contact even after I migrated to London with my parents..

WhenI got my big break for a movie project, we celebrated together all night, just the two of us, drinking red wine straight from the bottle on her rented spacious one-bedroom studio. When I mentioned to her that I’ll be coming in the States from time to time to fulfill a handful of job offers, she was over the moon, and so am I. She drove me on my US auditions, lingered in the waiting room until I was finished for day . That’s where she met Harrison and Tom who I’ve been friends with already.

Living alone in an almost foreign soil, even just for a few months, made me miss my England even more. Hotel rooms weren’t envisaging homeliness. Back then, Gabby’s still living an hour away from me, a moderate distance from where she’s finishing her studies. After 6 months however, she was designated here in the city for her residency. I begged her to stay with me since we’re practically in each other’s presence whenever none of us were occupied. She happily settled on the spare ample space beneath my bedroom and was in charge when I’ll be flying back home to St. James’

When I earned enough money for a semi-permanent place here in LA, we roamed the city by ourselves. The need to prove myself  that I could do one adult thing in my life simmered intently on my bones. I good-heartedly declined offers, no special treatments from anyone on my team which they respected . She, who without doubt, the more “grown up” one between the two of us, would take a step in front of me whenever she felt like agents, realtors and sellers were being greedy and pushy.. I was gullible to such sly advancements, therefore on the third day, Gabby insisted that I should just let her negotiate since she knew how Americans think nowadays and I’m basically an alien.  Therefore, under the blistering Californian sun, Gabby and I wandered and ended up on an empty yet maintained and recently sold loft in this part of the city.  

The apartment’s high ceiling drew the illusion of expansiveness. Her mom being an owner of an Interior Design firm in San Diego, arranged the place to complement our boho chic and industrial design preference. The kitchen, with its wooden paneled cabinets and marble countertop  contrasted with the interior’s  black hardwood floors. The 360view of the city windows allowed natural light to seep through the crack in the grey curtains and when the night time comes, we could properly see the vibrant spectacles of the city.  The formerly study area was converted as Gabby’s room and the loft bedroom with black-framed floor to ceiling glass walls remained as my room. The stark white and soundproof walls proved to be more useful especially to the foul noises coming from the living room.

“Die, Die! Die! You bastard!” I stood up, shouted aggressively as I pressed my fingers harder on the console with obvious determination.

“Ohh! Such profanity! You kiss your mum with that mouth?” Tom retorted back below me, his ambidextrous fingers made hurried clicking noises with his as well. He’s leaning his elbows on his denim-covered knees, both of us transfixed on the television and the joysticks in between our resolute hands.

“Oh, piss off!” I responded pointedly, resuming my seat beside him.

It’s not unusual for Tom and Harrison  to be here early in the morning. Our days wasted away like this every single time we’re not working. They’ll  show up a minute after 8 am and sometimes with a sprightly Tessa. On a number of circumstances, when either men are too exhausted and drowsy to drive  we just let them crash in the couch. Tom at least. Below him would be Tessa on the extra dog bed I purchased just for her. Most times, my dog betrayed me and joined them downstairs, not wanting to part with his playmates.

Therefore, on this  humid Sunday morning, two weeks since the awards night, we’re indulging in  a video game he just bought, a game we’ve both been dying to get. I lost track of the time after Tom’s second win. I don’t usually mind losing, but with him, it’s  a whole different story.

Unbeknownst to the unlocking sound of the entrance door, we sat on the edge of our seats occasionally throwing in congenial insults to each other, someone entered the premise. An ineffable thing you learn when you live with someone, you can actually tell when they arrived by the sound of their footsteps or by the sound of their sighs when they breathe. A set of keys jangled into the plate that says “Keys” on the foyer table. Both our dogs, who were resting underneath the coffee table at the center of the room, rushed to the door. Four greeting barks.

Gabby entered with both her hands bearing two brown grocery bags and lightly slammed the door with her foot. I couldn’t see her but that’s what I was imagining her doing.  

“Hey guys!” we could hear her shout breathily  from the kitchen. “Hey doggos! You want cookies?”

Tom and I answered with an absentminded “Hey!” Our laser focused attention not wavering off from the game.

“There’s a minor collision five streets away, that’s why we took a little longer than usual.” I heard her opened  the jar of cookies for the dogs then cans and bags of chips hit the marbled countertop of our kitchen.

“Uh-huh.” I said lazily, biting my lip as I try to come up with a strategy to my game.

“Where’s Harrison?” Tom slightly turned his body towards her voice, his eyes remained in front.  Her response drifted off as I saw Tom’s team finally found my troop’s headquarters, guns and bombs on hand.

“Why do you  make it so easy? Might as well give me that 50 right now.” I could hear the complacence in his voice. He slanted his body as he stirred his avatar’s car to the left and get out of it.

“You wish, Holland.”

“.... Speaking of which, you guys better be rea........ oh cmon!” Gabby continued. I heard the soft patters of her socked feet against the unblemished hardwood floors to where Tom and I were currently and comfortably lounging. A bowl of half-finished dry cheerios and four empty cans of juice on the wooden coffee table. The dogs had resumed their last position all the while staring at Gabby, waiting for another set of cookies.

“Really? For four hours now?” she breathed incredulously. Her arms folded impatiently on her chest.  I could feel the deathly glares on the back of our heads, I can’t risk confirming it by looking back. Tom’s avatar was circling back around the curb, right where I want him. I pressed a few buttons as I choose my killing weapon.

“You even haven’t taken a bath yet!!!” Her remark barely passing my ears as I quickly press the buttons of the joystick. She rounded from our backs to get a good look at our impaled positions on the sofa... or for us to take her disapproving annoyance.

“ I already did! Leave me alone!” Tom sounded like a teenager scolded by his mom for not cleaning his room. He was dressed effortlessly in his plain black shirt, jeans and his dark sneakers by the door, the curls on his head untamed.

“I’m not talking to you, idiot.” I could feel the penetrating and accusatory daggers she’s sending my way..

“C’mon guys, the program is in--- she glanced down at her watch—two hours. We have to drive there for an hour. Who knows if it’s gonna be totally jammed right now.” She demanded and stood by the accent chairs on our right side. Gabby doesn’t like being late.

As a favour to Harrison, Tom and I had agreed to join both of them in Gabby’s  hospitals’ feeding program, where she is currently a third year resident. Although her hospital’s a few blocks from here, the program will take place on the outskirts of the city, right where impoverished  US citizens are deprived. They needed extra pairs of volunteering hands as it was said to be a big annual event. Harrison popped the question while we’re all having dinner, because, even through the years of our friendship, he and Gabby were reluctant to take advantage of their status with that being close friends with Tom and I. They never asked us for help with anything hence, Tom and I were absolutely delighted to oblige.

“5 minutes, Gabs.” I promised half- heartedly, getting excited to rub  my brewing win to Tom’s smug face. “Besides I could get ready in like... ten minutes.” I  confidently reasoned back, still not looking her way. She exhaled and strode in front of us, blocking our view from the television mounted on the wall, her diminutive hands on her hips. Tom and I moved our heads synchronously on either side of her to watch the penultimate team battle with which we’re both engaged in.

“Look, thank you so much for doing this thing with me, and I love you both even more for it, but you’ve been playing since this morning.” She’s eyeing me heavily. Gabby did sound reasonable. As always. I hate it sometimes.

Tom’s persistent hands on his console receded, letting Gabby’s words sink in. His  attention affected from Gabby’s reason. With a gruff, “Tell me again, why am I going.” We stretched our necks, trying to find a better angle from Gabby’s impeding and unwavering authoritative stance in front.

“....Because you’re a good human being and you’re eternally grateful for Gabby’s existence and her relationship with your best mate that ended all those gay rumours a few years ago?” I stated in monotonous voice.

“On point.” Without taking our eyes off of the screen and for a second of truce, he raised his right hand to give me a high five, I struck it with my left.

We heard another commotion by the door and the dogs, once again, addressed the newcomer.

“Don’t tell me you idiots are still playing, we have to leave in 15 minutes! And it’s been two hours since we left!” Harrison reprimanded softly  and stopped at the back of the couch.. He then leaned  his elbows on the cushion behind and in between Tom and I. He too, tries to get a decent view of the LCD.

“So..who’s winning?” he excitedly added. If Gabby is the austere mom, Harrison is the fun dad, whereas Tom and I are the juvenile delinquents. I smiled despite myself, inching my way to the right end of the sofa, Tom doing the same thing on his left.

“Harrison!” Gabby all but shrieked at Harrison who chuckled.

“Right, right. Sorry babe.” He cleared his throat and I saw Gabby nod before Harrison walked out of the room.  Or so I thought.

“I’m coming for you Holla---hey! Hey! What are you doing!”

In a flush of movements, Harrison’s tall stature was in front of me, his forearms going under my leggings as he hauled me over his right shoulder like a sack of flour. Earning an adamant and incredulous protest from me.I saw  Tom’s right hand halted on his controller, his hands splayed out for a second of discombobulation as to why his opponent’s avatar suddenly stopped firing in the middle of the game, and then he noticed the hilarity of my position on his bestfriend’s shoulder. Instantly, he grabbed his phone on the carpeted floor of the living room, joystick laid on the table.

“Hey! Put me down jerk!! Harrison! Put me down this instant!” I ejaculated, pouncing on his broad back in futile attempts. He walked over and gave a peck to a smiling and proud Gabby. ‘Thanks babe.”

I groaned. “Tom! Help me!” Harrison gripped my shins together to stop me from squirming.  I cried out from my mortifying situation to Tom who completely abandoned the game I was wining. He positioned himself into a more comfortable way on the sofa, one of his foot under thigh and in both of his hands, his camera phone shook with laughter. My dog stood, confused and followed  Harrison’s shoulder. He placed his two front paws on Harrison’s back, making sure I wasn’t in trouble of any kind then back down on all fours again. Gabby stepped behind him, giving my dog a loving pat on the head.

The phone on Tom’s hand followed our movements as Harrison started to move away to literally drag my ass up to, I presume, Gabby and mine’s shared bathroom across to the kitchen.

“Sorry mate, he’s a.. um... a bit tall!” his hand tried to hold his phone while he continues to howl and shake in laughter. I slumped and pressed down my reddening face on Harrison’s back, defeated.

“This is absurd, you’re dead Harrison! You all are! I’m gonna kick you once I’m down from here. “ I looked up from Harrison’s Latissimus Dorsi  to threaten Tom and Gabby who were now practically skipping very much alike Snow White’s seven dwarves.

“Oh, wow, you really can be feisty. A few more minutes into that game and you’ll be saying the F word. “ I felt Harrison’s amused laugh from behind his nape which I’m currently glaring at.

“Told yah!” Tom interjected, chuckling before putting down his phone and barging in the kitchen.

Harrison dropped me with ease outside the bathroom door. He gave me an apologizing yet humorous smirk. I scowled at him.

“Hey! I’m just doing what she told me to!” He argued, his palms in mock surrender.

“Nah, you’re just a sap when it comes to my bestfriend. “ I replied with a chuckle as He took two steps into the open kitchen to resume helping Gabby who was already unpacking the rest of the items on our countertop, her back to us.

“And proud to be......not very unlike yourself. “He jokingly winked back at me, the last part barely a whisper. His head turned back to where Tom was pand my eyes took a cautious glimpse as he lingered by the opened fridge, humming to himself while he looked for a lunch snack, too concentrated on the task at hand to hear us. Our dogs, on their tails behind him. Harrison’s smile couldn’t get any nastier when he followed my eyes.. He reached out and ruffled my hair like an annoying big brother would.  I swatted his hand away. Gabby turned around at the sound of my groan, oblivious to me and her boyfriend’s silent exchange.

“What are you still standing there for? “ she asked rhetorically. With this, Tom looked at our direction and regarded us with a suspicious look, two greek yogurts on his hands.

“Your robe’s already inside. 10 minutes.” Gabby pointed to the bathroom subsequently unloading the last items inside the brown bag and stacking them into the customized Pantry cabinet under the staircase.

“Urgh. Yes Mum.” With a roll my eyes, I dragged my feet and closed the door behind an amused Harrison and bossy Gabby, and hungry Tom.

I put my hand under the running shower, testing the temperature first before going under. Not long did the rapid stream of lukewarm water drowned out the voices from the other side of the room and I was made aware of my solitude.

The past weeks regressed  to our normal mundane routine. Everyone has work for a few more weeks, til we fly back home to England with the exception of Gabby. Tom, Harrison and I hang out during the day, if we’re all unoccupied, doing chores or anything to keep ourselves amused.  Gabby will join us later in the afternoon or early in the evening, depending on her shift.

My mind drifted back to the brunet on the other side of the wall. He must be halfway through his-my- greek yogurt by now.

I caught the upward motion of my lips as I recall the ease that re-settled over us after the revel weeks ago.

I nervously threaded my fingers through my hair as Gabby and I sauntered to where Tom was animatedly chatting with Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield backstage. His team including Harrison was already there. Gabby gave me a sideway smirk. “What?”

Tobey and Andrew gave Tom one-armed hug as they said their goodbyes. When both gentlemen were out of sight, Gabby pulled Tom’s head under and between her armpits and messed his hair. “How dare you make me cry Holland!” Instinctively, Harrison caught the carved bronze sculpture that Tom is giving him. Gabby’s headlock never loosened . He could easily remove himself from the situation yet chosen not to.

When she let him go, Tom stretched his suit. “Crybaby.” He sneered at Gabby who poked out her tongue on him. Tom stepped into my open arms as I engulfed him in another congratulatory hug again.

“Was I ok?” he whispered against my naked shoulder, the contact made tiny tsunamis on my stomach.

Still within his embrace, “You were more than that.” I breathed to his ear. Then in a nescient and brazen move, I pressed a long kiss to the chiseled cheek I could reach.

I switched off the shower’s knob and coiled my hair in the towel I used for drying myself. I put my robe on and wiped the fog that clouded the mirror. I stared at my mouth as I recite the following words:

Tom and I are good friends. Just that. I don’t need to overthink it.  Stop overthinking it, alright?!” My reflection nodded and smiled.

Albeit, in the deepest and unexplored corner of my mind, a prisoner impatiently and furiously banged on the metal bars holding her captive.

The jazz music loomed over the ubiquitous speakers of the entire flat. The boys were in the kitchen, leaning on the countertop, heels crossed with each other. Their reflex turned to the opening creaks of the bathroom door; Harrison’s spoon and Tom’s doughnut halfway to their mouths. Tom immediately turned his back the other way while Harrison, nonchalantly looked down and continued to eat his food. Head bobbing in tune with the music. Tom elbowed him and he protested a “Bruv?” yogurt still on his tongue.

The dogs chased me as I ran up to my room, thinking I was in a gaming mood. I dressed myself in a button down long sleeves and tucked it in my best fitted jeans. I grabbed the small backpack on the floor before barging down the stairs. I’m anew and ready to go.

“I kept my word, 10 minutes!” Two men looked up from their phones for a minute and muttered a small and deadpanned “Yey!” I jogged down the stairs with two dogs right behind me. Gabby was nowhere in sight. I plopped down on the three-seater-couch beside Tom who was reading something on his phone. His dog nudged her head on his knees and took a seat beside his feet. She lie down on her back as his human started rubbing his socked feet on her warm belly. Though his face remained in a determined concentration, he clasped his free hand on my ankle when I pulled it up over his thighs naturally.

My flatmate must have cleaned the table while I was in the bath. Everything was in orderly fashion again like some page from an Interior Design magazine. The decorative vignettes that I removed on the table while I was playing with Tom was reinstated. Which made me look for the video game console strewn  under the 64 inches television.

“Oi! Where did our game go?” I exhorted at the two men beside me.

“Gabby confiscated them and locked it in her room. Apparently, she can’t trust me and Tom with it.” Harrison supplied, dropping his phone on the coffee table. “Which reminds me... I need a favour from you. Both of you.”  He uttered in an undertone.  

With this, Me and Tom edged our bodies closer to where Harrison was sitting but Tom still holding on to both my feet.

“I don’t wanna kick you out of your own house mate, but um.. Can me and Gabby have this place for tonight? She doesn’t know but I planned something for her.” He confessed in a timid voice that I can’t help but smile.

“What? What did you plan to do?” Tom queried, excitement in his tone.

“Git! Don’t ask that! Don’t tell us!” I lightly smacked Tom’s head and frowned at him.

“Why do you always assume that I’m gonna do something promiscuous?” Glaring at Tom’s sheepish grin.

“Well, aren’t you gonna? “ we both raised our eyebrows at him.

“No! Well, yeah maybe....I got her a necklace, that’s all. And I planned to cook for her tonight. “ Harrison explained bashfully.

“What’s wrong with our place?” Tom chided, sounding butt-hurt

“Well, do we have a perfectly functioning oven?” Harrison accused

“Um.. no..” Tom grumbled.

“Do we have, I don’t know romantic high ceilings?” Harrison gestured dramatically over the modern drop lights above our 4-seater dining table.

“Well, no.”

“Is our flat clean?”

“Absolutely not.” Tom jested, Harrison’s facts dawning on him.

“Harrison, I got you. Let me grab an overnight bag.” I winked at him, stood up and shuffled his blonde hair.

“Thank you!!! You can sleep in my room.”  He smiled up at me.

I was rounding the dining table when I heard Tom complained,

“Uh no way man, We don’t know what kinds of shit are in your room. She’ll sleep in mine and I’ll sleep in yours.” Tom disclosed, laying his entire body on the spot I just vacated.  Harrison threw a nearby pillow on his face.

I packed lightly, just a two sets of clothes for later when I shower and for tomorrow. Gabby reemerged for her room, wearing a plain white deep v-neck shirt, jeans and ankle boots.

“What are you doing with an overnight bag?” She asked, noticing the duffle bag on my shoulder. Before I could lie,

“We’ll continue our game at me and Harrison’s place tonight.” Tom shuffled from the hall, wiping his hands with the dish towel and I could see the dogs bent over two food bowls in the kitchen.

“Why can’t you do it here?”

“Because, you’re gonna be here. We can’t concentrate if you’re just gonna peek out and shout from  your room every now and then. And you have work tomorrow.” Tom shrugged.

“Good point.” Gabby frowned in agreement.

“Oh and I’m gonna bring my baby too. The vet said that I should keep an eye on him." That part was wholly true. I stretched an elbow on Tom’s shoulders and stared back at Gabby, acting natural as possible. Which is funny, considering Tom and I were such professional liars.

“Ok fine.  Guys, Listen up. This is the plan.” She clapped her hands, the action reminded me of a soccer coach about to give his students a pep talk before a big game.

“It’s 12:14, we have be at the tents by 2pm. We’re gonna load those boxes on the car, Harrison would drive. We’re gonna drop the dogs to your apartment, 10 blocks away, maybe it'll take just 10 minutes tops and off we go. Capisce?” she said in one breath.

“Maam, yes, maam!”

#tom holland fic #tom holland story #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #you are the reason #you are the reason fic #tom holland and y/n #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagine

[onethousandwordsblog]

Grades, Education, Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation

Dear Reader,

This image inspired me to write about the following:

- Grades, Education, Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation

These are merely my thoughts, opinions, and/or stance on the above topic(s), and should NOT be accepted as fact without having conducted your own research beyond the scope of this article. That being said, I do hope that these words will inspire you to think critically on the topic, while keeping all points of view in mind. Now let’s get started…

I was originally going to write this post on June 20th, but life got in the way. I also realized that I needed to spend a little more time critically thinking about my position on these matters. That being said, I have returned to my initial belief, with some caveats. Being a student has been my primary or secondary career for the better part of the last two decades. As I have aged, I went from a kid who would do just about anything to get an A to one who feels that our entire educational system needs reformation. Here’s a little over 1000 words on why I think things need to change.

Why do we (read: I) go to class?

When I was younger, I went to school to get good grades. That was it. I didn’t particularly care for learning, because most things came easily to me. Getting good grades meant I was smart, and getting better grades than everyone else meant that I was smarter than everyone else.

I would graduate from high school and be faced with reality. Not only was I no longer the smartest person in the world (nor was I ever), but having good grades didn’t make me the smartest person either. In my early undergraduate years, I would find that I would sometimes get better grades than my classmates, but they would understand and be able to apply the material better than I would be able to. I would rely on them to get As in the class, while they would get Bs for various reasons, despite having a better grip on the subject material than I did.

I now understand that we go to class to acquire knowledge of information and skills and the best ways to apply that knowledge and skills. My idea of a good student is no longer one who merely gets good grades, but is instead one who acquires knowledge of a given subject and can continue to apply that knowledge beyond the classroom. I have learned to accept my Cs on my transcript, as those often represent classes that I struggled in, and therefore learned a lot from, while As typically represent classes that I coasted in. This brings me to my next point.

I am not a fan of the A-F grading scale

Ideally, grades would provide an indicator of student aptitude, performance, and mastery of subject material. I do believe that the A-F scale can be representative of a student’s performance in the class (almost certainly. How does one get an A in a class they did incredibly poorly in?) and perhaps even their aptitude (A student who averages a 90% in the class probably has the aptitude to quickly process and understand information). However, grades are often the only representative of a student’s mastery of the course in situations where the grading is honest and transparent. When there are several sources suggesting that many institutions of higher education will artificially inflate grades, these grades lose almost all meaning. Students are often in situations where they are no longer learning, but merely trying to achieve the highest letter grade, regardless of what they learn.

Allow me to briefly speak on intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivation is defined as any motivation that comes from outside an individual. Money, fame, and praise are extrinsic motivators, as they originate from outside of the individual. Intrinsic motivation originates from inside an individual, and solely exists for the purpose of creating positive emotions in the individual. Taking a class because you might love the material or the instructor is intrinsic motivation. Taking a class because you need a grade in said class to graduate is an example of extrinsic motivation. Graduating is the intrinsic end, while the grade is simply a means to an end.

Grades have become, and maybe always have been, an extrinsic motivator. They are viewed as something that students achieve as a means to an end (graduating, getting more money, higher prestige, not getting kicked out, making their parents happy), instead of viewing their education as an intrinsic end itself (learning more about their world and how to interact with it). When the average letter grade is the highest letter grade possible, then the system has lost all meaning.

So what’s the solution?

I personally believe that the solution to the problem of intrinsically and extrinsically motivated students would have to include the revision or abandonment of the A-F letter scale, which emphasizes getting the lucrative “A” grade over all other factors. This could potentially be completed with a shift to transcript evaluation instead of using a GPA to define a student’s aptitude.

Perhaps a pass/fail numeric grading system with a “course rating” system could be a solution. Students would only receive a pass/fail grade on their transcripts, but instructors would provide a bell curve with median class numeric grades for each instance of each course they provide, perhaps through a centralized system. Classes with lower numerical averages would be considered “more difficult”, and students with more passing grades in more difficult courses would be coveted. Theoretically, this would be a deflationary system as compared to our current inflationary system, as students would be encouraged to take harder courses to achieve higher status, while professors would be encouraged to be more honest, and even more difficult, with their grading to keep their class medians from ballooning and preserve the prestige of their course.

One of the potential pitfalls of this method is that it would add additional stress to students, as classes would be encouraged to be more rigorous to maintain their prestige. This would ideally be offset by having a pass/fail system, where students merely have to pass a class to achieve its prestige. Another pitfall for this system is its reliance on instructor integrity, as the system falls apart if instructors deflate grades and then pass everyone anyways. This could be remedied by having professor’s grade students honestly as they pursue mastery of a course, as evaluated by a final exam or project. Students that fail a course could also be allowed to retake the course as many times as they want, with the most recent course outcome replacing all previous outcomes. This could reduce student pressure to pass a class on the first try, and instead shift focus to passing a class when sufficiency has been achieved.

Much of the world operates on a pass/fail system. No one cares whether I got maximum points on my driving test. We only care that I displayed proficiency in operating a motor vehicle.

I recognize that there are other potential pitfalls to this outline that I have not considered, and I do not mean for this to be the one fix-all solution. I am merely stating my belief that we have become complacent with our current educational system, and a better system may exist that could remove the extrinsic motivator of letter grades and produce more intrinsically motivated students, which could produce more efficacious citizens. There are many sources suggesting that students need to become more intrinsically motivated, and maybe one day a solution can be found and widely adopted.

How do you feel about the content and topics covered in this post? Feel free to let me know in the comments, or reach out to me on social media if you prefer a private discussion. If you enjoyed reading this post, click here to read more, and be sure to follow this blog on social media for more frequent updates!

Always Yours,

Myron Keith Gibert Jr

#social-issues

[forbesjames96]

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[zjennings91]

Personal Marketing & UVP

Entry 3

To stand out professionally in such an increasingly competitive market such as the media industry, skills, tools, and technical attributes may not be enough to attract the attention you desire from prospective employees. This is where you need personal marketing.

Personal marketing is a way to enhance your professional as well as personal characteristics, to showcase how you want your personal brand to be viewed (Santos 2018).

‘The point of personal branding is not to create a polished, superhuman alter ego,’ (Jorgensen 2018). It is about understanding how you want employees and other professionals to view who you are and what your story in an authentic manner (Jorgensen 2018). It showcases the REAL you and gives other a true indication of what type of person and professional you are.

For me and my personal brand, authenticity and integrity is everything. I think this is reflected in some of the attributes I would use to describe my brand. Honesty, loyal, ambitious, dedicated and standards driven are key for my brand. I want those with who I am engaging with to feel as though they are getting a genuine experience with myself, and therefore my morals and principles will feel REAL rather than buzzwords or rehearsed statements,

One of my principles is that there is always room for improvement. I believe that settling leads to complacency, which is always a setback. However, sometimes my drive to achieve the highest standards possible can be a little unrealistic, and instead of realising this, I can mistake it for complacency. This can lead to a lot of frustration and disappointment. I need to be better at taking a deep breath, a step back and observing the issues at hand that I encounter, rather than trying to force my way through. It is something I am very aware of and continue to work on.

Using my critical partner has been challenging due to the circumstances surrounding this semester. Moving to online communications due to COVID-19 is something I am not struggling with; however, I am still getting used to. It is not just communications, its all aspects of not only our studies but life. It does not just affect me either, it has an impact on both my critical partner and everyone in our cohort. So, it may take a little bit of time to re-adjust and then add this element to the subject.

In the meantime, I have a strong network of family and close friends who I trust will be open and honest with the feedback they provide. Obviously, there will be a bias to start with, they are going to ‘sugar coat’ some opinions as they do not want to be overly critical. However, once I explain I require transparency and am prepared for it, I believe they will comply as they are happy and willing to assist in any way to help with my career transition.   

________________________________________________________________

Jorgensen, D 2018, It's Personal Branding. Not Personal Marketing, viewed 23 May 2020, https://www.cropleycomms.com/insights/articles/its_personal_branding

Santos, B 2018, Personal Marketing: learn how to blow your own horn, viewed 23 May 2020, https://blog.hotmart.com/en/personal-marketing/

#transitiontoprofessionalpractice

[dorisphamus]

Abi Wilkinson should be ashamed of her abuse of Danny Finkelstein

Danny Finkelstein – or Baron Finkelstein of Pinner to give him the title he hardly ever uses – has become the latest person to be the object of a twitter hate campaign.

He is, according to Abi Wilkinson, a Corbyn-supporting journalist, “a racist scumbag” who is “chill with ethnic cleansing.”

It may seem surprising that Finkelstein, former member of the SDP and since that party’s demise a leading voice of “moderate” Conservatism, should be so characterised, even by Wilkinson who believes that “incivility isn’t merely justifiable, but actively necessary.”

His columns in The Times are typically reflective, considered and measured. This has not prevented him sometimes receiving the most appalling online abuse, accusing him of defending paedophilia, for example, because he expressed scepticism about groundless allegations levelled at politicians.

Sometimes this abuse has been tinged with anti-semitism, as with this bit of gratuitous Jew-baiting from a paedophile-obsessed troll in Germany calling himself Dame Alun Roberts.

On other occasions the anti-semitism has been painted in primary colours. The grim reality of twitter and conspiracy websites is that racial name-calling is all too common, and not just for Jews.

Of course, just because you have yourself been the victim of racist abuse it does not mean that you can’t also dish it out. Even the fact that Finkelstein’s mother was a holocaust survivor does not mean that he could not himself be a racist scumbag, relaxed about ethnic cleansing, though it would make such a description particularly painful and therefore, if untrue, particularly nasty.

What has Finkelstein done to prompt such abuse?

Was he seen outside the Court of Appeal, joining hands with Katie Hopkins chanting “Tommy Tommy Tommy!” as the great white hope of British fascism was sprung from gaol last week?

No.

Has he been using his Times column to call for the indigenous folk of Europe to unite to drive Islam back beyond the gates of Vienna, to the Bosphorus and beyond?

No, although in recent weeks he has written paragraphs like this about about immigration and the problems of multi-ethnic societies:

“It is therefore right to argue for control and moderation in allowing the migration that creates ethnically diverse societies; essential to recognise that integration is extremely challenging and will require great political effort; vital to see that civic equality will not happen by itself and prejudice will not easily disappear, both needing to be driven by enlightened leaders.”

Control and moderation! Creating diverse societies! Trying to make prejudice disappear! Demanding political effort to achieve civic equality!

What about international affairs?

As, Finkelstein himself has written:

“The allegation of dual loyalty is one of the most common ways I encounter antisemitism, through the suggestion that my political position on an issue is the result of my “zionism”. This, alongside the posting of comments about Israel to almost anything I or other Jews write.”

So I am afraid some – including, I fear, influential members of the Party that Willkinson supports – will ask, or even assume: he is a Jew, surely he has demonstrated racist scumbaggery in his writings about Israel?

“The Palestinians must have a homeland, they have a right to a homeland, in which they can live in prosperity and peace.

As most people agree, this should be broadly consistent with the borders that existed before the 1967 war. And Israel has made the creation of such a state considerably more difficult by its disastrously wrong and ill-considered decision to allow Jewish settlements to be built outside these borders.”

It doesn’t seem entirely beyond the pale of civilised discourse.

The odd thing about the 48 hours of Finkelstein twitter-hatred is that nobody, even amongst the many who have been piling in to support Wilkinson, has been able to point to a single racist opinion, racist argument, or racist statement that he has ever made.

Her attack came shortly after Finkelstein wrote about the anti-semitism controversy that has dogged the Labour Party. He wrote almost despairingly of the anti-semitism that has been on display both in wider society and particularly inside the Labour Party.

“Complacently, I had always assumed that what happened to my parents couldn’t happen to me or my children. There were too many liberal, progressive people who wouldn’t allow it. I no longer believe this with the same confidence. …

“It’s less the antisemitism itself that has induced this fear. It is the denial of it. The reaction I expect on the left to the rise of antisemitism — concern, determination to combat it, sympathy — is not the one I’ve encountered, at least not from supporters of the leadership. Instead there is aggression, anger at the accusation, suggestions that the Jews and zionists are plotting against Jeremy Corbyn.”

It is entirely of a piece with Finkelstein’s writings over many years: a plea for tolerance and understanding and a determination to combat racism. For what it is worth, I should disclose that I have met him on one occasion, and he was as polite and civilised in person as he always is in writing.

During the height of the twitter-storm, the writer Jamie Palmer asked if anyone could provide a link to a racist article written by Danny Finkelstein. None has yet been provided.

Instead Wilkinson explained that Finkelstein was a racist scumbag not because of anything he had written or said, but because he had been on the “Board” of the Gatestone Institute, an American based think-tank which has provided a platform to some brave and respectable people – Gary Kasparov and Elie Wiesel, for example – but also to some arguing for very unpleasant anti-Islamic policies.

For some reason, probably not a good one, the Gatestone Institute’s website no longer reveals who its “Board” members are, or even if it has a Board, or, if it did have one, what it actually did. Instead it now lists a number of what it calls “distinguished senior fellows” rather as though it were an Oxbridge college. Amongst the British “distinguished” fellows are such luminaries as Raheem Kassam, the boastful and absurd former adviser to Nigel Farage, accurately described by Marina Hyde as a “nebbishy shitposter … chiefly known for trailing around after Farage in a coat … with a brown velvet collar” (who doesn’t actually seem to have written anything for the Institute), and Douglas Murray, the journalist and author, who has written copiously for it.

Kassam: “Distinguished Senior Fellow.”

Finkelstein is no longer listed, in any capacity, although in February of this year he appeared in a Gatestone sponsored conversation at the House of Lords with Khaled Abu Toameh, an Arab Israeli journalist. All this was entirely above board, with Finkelstein properly disclosing the event in the House of Lords Register of Members’ Interests, one of 15 paid speaking engagements between October 2017 and June 2018 (none of the others were for the Institute).

Gatestone is, Wilkinson says, an “Islamophobic far right institute” which advocates “deporting my husband from Europe.”

Clearly, if that were true then anyone having anything to do with the Institute would not be deserving of much sympathy. However, it isn’t true.

It is in fact very difficult to see precisely what, if anything, the Institute itself advocates, as opposed to the views of the various people to whom it gives a platform. All contributions to its website contain a footnote explaining that the views expressed “do not necessarily represent the views of the editors or of Gatestone Institute,” but as the Institute’s own views are not made known anywhere readily accessible, the views of its contributors are all we have to go on.

To be sure many, perhaps even most, of the articles on its website are broadly hostile to Islam, certainly to Islamism, and some are very unpleasant indeed. The sheer volume of material published on the “Gatestone” website makes it impossible to be sure, but I haven’t been able to find any article which advocates deporting people like Kadhim Shubber, Ms Wilkinson’s Muslim husband, who is a distinguished journalist working for the Financial Times, either from Britain or from America where he currently works.

Mr Shubber himself drew particular attention to one 2017 Gatestone contribution by Giulio Meotti, a journalist who, judging by his Wikipedia entry, seems to be some sort of Italian Johann Hari who has achieved a certain notoriety for being accused of plagiarism. Presumably he singled out the piece because it was one of the worst and it is, certainly, a stonkingly bad piece of journalism. Under the headline “Are Jihadists taking over Europe” Meotti makes the preposterous claim that “Europe could be taken over the same way Islamic State took over much of Iraq.” The article itself veers rather incoherently from justifiable concerns about Islamist terrorism, through tendentious claims about “self-segregated, multicultural enclaves in which extremist Muslims promote Islamic fundamentalism and implement Islamic law,” (I think these are the mythical no-go zones beloved of the far right), and finally into outright dishonesty with a bizarre claim that the head of the Swedish army was referring to Islam when he said “there might be a war within a few years,” when in fact he was clearly referring to a possible war with Russia. It’s writing of a very low order indeed, but it does not actually advocate deportation of Muslims. Nevertheless, I can see that anyone reading it, and stupid enough to take it seriously, might be more easily persuaded that mass deportation of Muslims was a good thing.

So what of Wilkinson’s suggestion that Finkelstein was, “at absolute best chill with calls for ethnic cleansing”?

Probably she has in mind the Dutch MP Geert Wilders, who has regularly been published by Gatestone. Wilders has described Moroccan criminals as “scum,” he has said he wants to “make the Netherlands ours again,” and in a 2014 speech which led to his prosecution and partial conviction (currently subject to an appeal), he appeared to promise to try ensure that there would be “fewer Moroccans” in The Hague in the future. Whether or not he was actually advocating “ethnic cleansing” of Moroccans (his defence was that he was advocating the deportation of Moroccan dual nationals convicted of criminal offences, and the voluntary repatriation of others) Wilders promotes profoundly unpleasant prejudices.

Or perhaps she was thinking of journalist and best-selling author Douglas Murray, another “senior distinguished fellow” who writes regularly for the Institute, as well as many other publications, including the Spectator where he regularly tops the “most popular” league table published on its website. He is combative, readable, provocative and influential. He has never advocated “ethnic cleansing,” although in a speech in a 2006 speech to the Pim Fortuyn Memorial Conference (nothing to do with the Gatestone Institute as far as I am aware) he demanded that “conditions for Muslims in Europe must be made harder across the board.” He expanded on what that meant:

“All immigration into Europe from Muslim countries must stop. In the case of a further genocide such as that in the Balkans, sanctuary would be given on a strictly temporary basis. This should also be enacted retrospectively. Those who are currently in Europe having fled tyrannies should be persuaded back to the countries which they fled from once the tyrannies that were the cause of their flight have been removed. And of course it should go without saying that Muslims in Europe who for any reason take part in, plot, assist or condone violence against the West (not just the country they happen to have found sanctuary in, but any country in the West or Western troops) must be forcibly deported back to their place of origin.”

It was not quite advocacy of ethnic cleansing (he did not spell out whether “persuading” innocent Muslim refugees to return was to be by use of the carrot or the stick), and it wasn’t published by the Institute, but it was the promotion of an unpleasant, deliberately discriminatory set of policies, and a dog-whistle to those wishing to deport Muslims.

In fairness, although Murray did not repudiate his speech when asked to do so in 2006, or for some years afterwards, by 2011 he had asked for it to be removed from the internet (which is why it is now only available on the Wayback Machine site) and has explained why:

“I realised some years ago how poorly expressed the speech in question was, had it removed from the website and forbade further requests to publish it because it does not reflect my opinions.”

Quite what Murray now thinks is wrong about the speech, apart from it being “poorly expressed,” is still opaque, but he evidently does not believe in ethnic cleansing, and perhaps not any more in “making conditions for Muslims in Europe harder across the board.” Even so, according to former MP Paul Goodman, now editor of Conservative Home, the Conservative front bench broke off relations with Murray as a direct result of it. Whether Finkelstein, who was at one time a speech-writer for David Cameron, was involved in the issue or aware of it, I have no idea.

Wilkinson’s charge against Finkelstein is that he sat on the Board of the Institute while people like Murray were writing for it. It’s a charge that would presumably apply to anyone sitting on the “board” of The Spectator, where Murray is a regular contributor, or of the BBC which has given Murray considerable air-time over the years (although it did also broadcast a guest calling him a “hate preacher,” something for which it then apologised), or even of The Guardian, which invited Murray to take part in a panel discussion about Donald Trump, an invitation which he declined and then rather haughtily wrote about in the Spectator. Indeed, given that Wilkinson herself regularly writes for the Guardian I wonder how “chill” she is with assisting an organisation that offered Mr Murray a platform. Does that make her a racist scumbag too, if slightly less of one than Finkelstein?

It is bad enough to accuse someone of being a “racist scumbag.” It’s unpleasant, it’s aggressive and it greatly lowers the tone of political debate – how can you expect to debate with someone who describes you as such? – but it is in the end just vulgar abuse. One person’s racist scumbag, I suppose, is another’s campaigner for slightly tougher controls on immigration. “Being chill with calls for with ethnic cleansing,” is far nastier and a great deal more specific.

“Ethnic cleansing,” a phrase originating in the horror of the Yugoslav wars, means forcibly driving out, deporting or killing people on the basis of their race or ethnicity. It is a particularly objectionable insult to hurl at the son of a holocaust survivor. It should not be made unless you are very sure of your ground. It is utterly baseless to make it against Finkelstein.

I don’t want to defend the Gatestone Institute. Much of the material on its website is nonsense, and some of it nasty nonsense. Just conceivably somewhere within the archives of the Gatestone Institute there may be some explicit calls for genocide or ethnic cleansing. It would be the work of years to read the outpourings of all the “distinguished fellows” and “writers” named by the Institute, but nothing that I have seen or that she or Mr Shubber has highlighted justifies Wilkinson’s charge that it “advocates deporting my husband from Europe.”

This brings us to Finkelstein’s own position on the mysterious “Board” of the Institute. It seems to have been no more than a publicity device for the Institute. It never met and apparently had no role in the running of the organisation. As Finkelstein described it:

“They listed me on a board and I didn’t actually know at first. The board never met or was asked to meet or had any role and rather lazily, once I do (sic) know, just left it. More recently I thought, mmm, being listed on a board is rather different to making a speech or two and I don’t want to be responsible for everything they do with no actual control, so I asked to be taken off. That I’m afraid is the unheroic truth.”

He also explained that:

“I do not serve on the board and have never had any role of any kind running Gatestone or supervising it in any way. They listed me on the board, until I asked them to stop.”

He had been asked about his membership of the Board in 2015 by Nafeez Ahmed, and specifically about Murray’s “stated views on Muslims in Europe.” He replied:

“I naturally don’t (and didn’t) say that I didn’t know who it was or what it publishes or who it hosts. Of course I do. Being on the Board doesn’t mean I agree with every article or every speaker, nor does it imply that I don’t. … I find Douglas Murray stimulating an worthwhile and often right, without always agreeing.”

This has been presented by some as evidence that Finkelstein tried to conceal that he was “on the Board” of Gatestone, although clearly he did nothing of the sort. He was open about it in 2015 and he has been open about it in 2018, although – assuming his good faith which I do until the contrary is demonstrated – “being on the Board” did not mean much other than that for a year or two he allowed the Institute to use his name for publicity purposes.

Finkelstein’s politics are quite clearly not those of Murray, still less of Geert Wilders. Nobody has been able to produce a single racist word that he has written. He has described the idea that Muslims should be deported from Europe as “obnoxious and mad,” which of course it is.

In any case, he has accepted that he made a mistake and apologised. In fact he has done so more than once.

“Yes I’m sorry I was on it [the Board] and I apologise for the error. Worst of all it gives the legitimate impression I support ideas I think completely wrong and are rightly thought offensive.”

He should not have allowed himself to be named as a Board member. He should have paid more attention to the garbage the Institute was pumping out, and less to the fact that it had also provided a platform to brave and necessary voices like those of Gary Kasparov, Raif Badawi or the Nobel Peace Prize winner Elie Wiesel.

It is very sad that Ms Wilkinson does not yet seem able to accept his apology, and sadder still that she will not herself apologise for traducing a decent man. No wonder political debate these days is so poisonous.

The post Abi Wilkinson should be ashamed of her abuse of Danny Finkelstein appeared first on BarristerBlogger.

from All About Law http://barristerblogger.com/2018/08/06/abi-wilkinson-should-be-ashamed-of-her-abuse-of-danny-finkelstein/

[kawaiifunhologram-blog]

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Our roof got hail damage but our insurance adjuster and my contractor differ on how much damage there is. The adjuster went as far as saying someone made extra damage on the roof and that our contractor is just trying to help us get our deductible. Are there any legal ramifications for him saying that?

If I get my g2 will my parents insurance rise?

I would like to get my g2 in october, but not get insurance and start driving alone until november. Would this raise my parents insurance from just getting my g2. Also, if i have an 80% avg at midterm, will it lower the cost of insurance? If yes then would a 90 avg lower the insurance cost even more?""

How much is car Insurance in Ireland for me?

I want to buy a 1.6 1998 civic type-r (11000), but am worried it will cost too much to insure. I can get insured on it as a named driver if needs be, but would prefer my own policy. I'm 22 with a full licence for 2 years and have 5 years named driver experience with nothing on my record. Where's the best place to get a quote? And if I do how much do you think it will be? (ballpark)""

What is the cheapest car insurance in Wisconsin?

It seems to me that every insurance company out there is claiming to have the lowest rates, etc. In your experience, who has had the cheapest prices? I'm referring to basic car insurance...no frills, just the minimum coverage that is now required in WI? Thanks (and please dont try to sell me something...I just want some ideas here)""

Do you need insurance to have a driver's license in California?

Do you need to have insurance in order to have a driver's license? Or can you have a driver's license, but no car, and no insurance. So i'm a minor, and my question is, If I have a CA driver's license, do I still need insurance when I don't have a car? (Insurance + Car) ....... or ........ (Insurance + License)""

What's the cheapest auto insurance for a 23-year old woman?

I've only wrecked once, and it was during a storm, with little damage resulting. I'm about to get a car, but I need insurance - what's the cheapest company for someone like me? Thanks!""

Should parents pay for their kid's car insurance?

Ok, my 20 year old stepson who's been living with my husband & I for the past 6 years is now in 2nd year of college and commuting to college... After battling to get my husband to agree that he needs to be responsible and start paying for his own insurance ($50) he started in July & Aug... Granted we gave him a car to use... All summer he was not able to get a second job (all year worked pt at a store) as he delayed applying since he wanted to see his mother for the summer... Mind that his mother who lives out of state did not pay any child support for the 4.5 years he was living with us... She only paid out of court order for the last 1.5 years of his hs years and immediately stopped once he started college... Now, my step son doesn't feel he should continue paying for car insurance as he doesn't feel he can afford it and my husband feels he shouldn't coz he never asked for anything... I feel he needs to be more responsible as a young adult... Although he doesn't ask for things, I'm looking at his future and hoping that he can grow up to be responsible... He already wasted his first year in college wasting the money he had earned from the pt job always going out with his friends instead of coming home to eat or packing food... Perhaps that's b/c his dad always gave him money for lunch... He could've used that money to pay for college and save, but ofcourse it didn't happen eventhough my husband kept letting him stay in school 'till late at night sometimes as late as 2 or 3 am... Is it wrong for me to suggest that he pay his own car insurance?... I have my own son (17 yo) also from previous relationship and is getting him prepared to get his license next year when he graduates hs and have already been helping him save so he can pay for his own car insurance as well... Any input is appreciated.""

Help i had a car accident driving a company car with no insurance?

i hit a car, unsafe start, i find out theres no insurance. I called my boss and he is furious and tells me i should put my insurance from my other cars to it and that i should pay for the accident. i dont know what to do i need help and advice""

I don't have car insurance but i have a license?

I'm confused, i dont have my own car but i drive my mothers car and THAT car has insurance. I dont get it, if i drive it do i need insurance under my name or is it good enough if the car has insurance under her name? I hope i havent been driivng illegally all along....""

If i have insurance on my driver s license do i have to have insurance on my car in Maine?

I am now told that it is mandatory for me to have insurance ON my license... does that mean I need it on my car as well?? I could use all the help I can get on this. THANK YOU!

Car insurance for men vs. women?

I was debating with a male that all other things equal that female car insurance is typically less then males. He was arguing that its the other way around. Who pays more for car insurance, men or women? And is there a accurate website I can look at for these statistics?""

Insurance on a ninja 250?

Hey I have been looking for my first bike and since I have no experience shifting and riding I want a small bike so I was thinking a ninja 250. From what I have seen they have plenty of power for me, and in my price range so I was wondering how much these cost to insure? I have allstate for my car if that matters? thanks a lot. and please don't tell me I need to be safe... I am already signed up for my permit class and a safety class. and I am no wheelie riding 100mph rider... just looking to commute and go for rides. Thanks""

Are there any affordable health care plans?

I'm a 21 year old female who lives in NJ. I do not have any children. I was going to apply for NJ Family Care, but you apparently need to be a parent/guardian. I cant get medical ...show more""

American express auto insurance?

I understand that the auto insurance for rentals via credit cards are secondary coverage. what does this mean? Suppose I dont have any other insurance coverage. does the credit card insurance become primary coverage by default?

Whats the cheapest car insurance for 17yr old girl?

Whats the cheapest car insurance for 17yr old girl?

F1-visa student insurance?

I'm traveling to the US to study there and I was looking through a list of insurance companies other than that the university offers ( which isn't obligatory) and I found this company called ISO http://www.isoa.org/ Is it a good insurance company? I mean the rates it covers and the price of the plan is really good. The Gold plan is 39 dollars per month, meaning it's only 468 dollars per year ! Is that expensive, cheap, or just good ? Do you recommend other insurance companies that could be better and affordable ? Thank you.""

How much could the cheapest car insurance be for a length of 6months?

I am planning to by a car and I wanna get my finances together. Knowing fully well that getting a car is one thing and insuring it is another, I wanna find out how much the cheapest car insurance could be for a 6months period.""

Is Obamacare insurance.?

at Healthcare.gov they will be doing quotes on October 1 so is the Government selling there own version of Insurance

Opinions on insurance plans please?

I would appreciate any opinions on health insurance. Blue Cross /Blue shield as compared to an HMO plan for example. The positive and negative of each. Thanks!!!

How much money do you have to make an hour to be able to support yourself.?

It's a simple question, don't make it a complacated one.

Is an Acura TSX or an Acura TL good for a teenager?

my dad is looking for cars to get me and i was looking online and i found a 2007 tsx and a tl.. i like how they look.. the brand new ones, to me, are really ugly and plus the brand new ones are more expensive... im pretty sure my parents are okay with the prices of these but i was just wondering what u thought.. and im 16 by the way""

Cheapest car insurance?

Cheapest car insurance?

International health insurance question. ????

I'm planning on moving to Finland this March-October and have been looking online for health insurance while I am away from the US. Can anyone recommend some companies which offer good coverage, but is also affordable?""

How auto insurance works in california?

i backed up into a car today and there is no damage to my car but a dent in the others hood, and i said lets call the police and they said lets just exchange information, i said no i'd rather have them come...they said they called when i was getting something in my car and said the police said they would take a while so we decided to exchange info...i got her license but they said they didnt have the insurance info with them....but in the mean time i gave them my info...now i have a feeling that maybe they didnt have insurance and there is no police report so what can happen now?""

""If you're arrested at 17, does your car insurance go up?""

If you're arrested at 17, does your car insurance go up?""

2008 Toyota Camry Insurance?

I much am I looking to pay for insurance on a 2008 Toyota Camry. I am 18 years old with a clean driving history.

How much would Car insurance cost per month for a new teen driver driving a sport car?

I might get a Honda Prelude or a Honda Civic and a prelude is more sportish than a civic. But how much would it cost for car insurance per month for either cars ?

How can i get cheaper car insurance?

How can i get cheaper car insurance?

Buying insurance to drive someone elses car?

My dad says if I want to drive his car, I need to pay for my own insurance on it incase I get into a car accident. How much would you think it would cost per month with the cheapest and best insurance company? - state farm and ect.""

Are you going to purchase health insurance as required by law ?

Now that the public option is off the table ? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091209/ap_on_bi_ge/us_health_care_overhaul Where's the guarantee that it will become affordable ?

What would be YOUR solution to affordable health care in America?

I work and most of my salary goes to insurance, so what would be an affordable alternative? I don't think it should be given to us by the government, but I think there should be some controls on the cost, so more people could afford it.""

Car accident and no licence or insurance?

So i got into a car accident this morning on the way to school, and the lady driving the other car was pulling out of her drive way and i hit her while she was pulled out on to the road, reason being she lived on a corner kinda tucked away and as i turned i didnt see her and i hit her car.. the police took both our statements and lets us both go even thou i dont have insurance or a license What will my fine and punishments be?""

Modified car insurance?

2000 mustang gt. Added cold air intake, exhaust kit, engine headers, aftermarket gps and backup cam, and aftermarket rims. Would an insurance company cover these?""

Effect of credit score on car insurance.?

What effect does bad credit have on your car insurance price, if any?""

Should I really get insurance for my car?

I am thinking about getting a cheaper and older car just for going to and from work. Should I really get insurance for it?

Do I have to pay 30 in advance on my car insurance?

I live in Florida and my car insurance says I have to pay 30 days in advance. Is this true? Does anyone know the statute?

I need help car insurance?

Im looking to buy a 2010 fusion se right now through Lee auto. For me to do it myself I'd have to pay almost 400 dollars a month for insurance and 360 for The car. Is there any way I can lower my insurance? This is rediculius all I have is 2 speeding tickets and that's it on my driving record. I have no loans no payments or nothing.

I'm getting my licence next week and I was wondering how much insurance cost for teens.?

I'm getting my licence next week and I was wondering how much insurance cost for teens.?

Dental insurance? I need to get 3 wisdom teeth taken out but i cant afford it.?

whats the best and most affordable dental insurance that would cover this in so cal?

Which is best health insurance?

I was wondering whats the best insurance for me im 18 live with my parents dropped out dont go to college plan to get my ged soon. But i have to get some blood work done for my doc out of state and the place i called said its 832$ i can pay for it but im thinking i should jus get insurance since im going to go on TRT soon prehaps.. so what Health insurance can cover my blood work and hopefully everything in future also im not a citizen but i am a green card holder does it make a difference? thanks i didnt reread this so sorry for any errors

Car insurances?

18yrs old just been quoted 1,300 for a 1100cc car K reg.Offered 300.00 plus 1.000.00 returnable deposit if he dont have any accidents, broker did not want to know but said on top of all that he has got to pay the first 350.00 if involved in a accident. How dear is that?ps past tests.""

Can I get cheaper insurance while my vehicle is in storage?

I'm going to be out of the country for a while, and am putting my car in an auto storage place. But since I'm keeping it registered and leaving the plates on it, I have to maintain insurance. Do any insurance companies offer cheaper insurance or a special type of insurance that I can put on there, since I wont be driving the vehicle? This is because I'm deploying to Iraq, btw.""

Second Owner of a Car = Insurance? (FL)?

This is for the state of Florida. Yes, I could have looked it up, but there are too many answers to get a straight one. Scenario: Say a parent owns a car. They pay insurance. There's an 18-year-old who still has their permit but wants to get a license. They should become a second owner of their parent's car. However, there's word going around that there would be a second insurance? 1) How will the second insurance work? 2) Do you LEGALLY HAVE to have insurance? I'm not sure what else to ask, but, if someone could shed some light on how this has to be done, just let me know. Thanks.""

What is the cheapest Auto insurance I can get?

I'm 23, just got my license, i have a Honda civic 2002. Thanks!""

Getting Car Inspected Late - will insurance go up?

If you let your car inspection sticker in Massachusetts expire before and then you go to get the car inspected late, will the Massachusetts RMV find out that you let it lapse and then hit you with points on your license and/or increased car insurance rates? Would if your car doesn't pass inspection, will that raise your car insurance also?""

How much money do you have to make an hour to be able to support yourself.?

It's a simple question, don't make it a complacated one.

I'm under 18 do i need insurance after i get my license?

I live in FL But i don't have a car. am i insured under my parents or do they need to pay for me when i get it.

""Any opinions on AUTO INSURANCE in Providence, RI? cheap prices?

cheap prices

How hard is it for police to verify that you REALLY do have car insurance?

With all the different companies that offer insurance, how would a police officer know if if the insurance card is a fake or not or if the policy number is real during a traffic stop?""

What insurances do I need as a home-owner?

And any advices on insurance providers? Good service and price?

How much is insurance for under ground pools?

How much is insurance for under ground pools?

Insurance coverage question?

I was involved in a three car accident, the car that started it came in to main street and got hit by one car, consequently he lost control of his car went across the next lane and hit me. His insurance already told me they are taking liability and will pay both drivers' damages, but he said that California minimum liability is only $5000, so they are planning to divide the $5000 to cover both drivers. However the damage in my car and the other guy's car exceeds $5000. I thought the limit if indeed is $5000 it should be $5000 for each driver and not for both. What do you think? Maybe they're just giving my the short end of the stick or twisting things for their convenience. Anybody knows for sure how it should work?""

Why do i pay more car insurance than my cars worth?

it just seems pointless to me having a car that cost me about 500 and paying nearly 3x the cost in insurance. (3rd party fire and theft - 3 years no claims (Citroen Saxo 1.6vts))

Which car insurance companies do not use credit history to determine their rates?

Most insurance companies use credit information to determine the rate they give you. Therefore having bad credit can cause you to pay a higher premium. Which companies do not use credit information to determine your rate?

""Would Obama's plan mean free (or affordable) comprehensive health insurance for everyone, no matter what?""

Is this what we can hope for? Affordable or even free health care for all Americans, rich and poor?""

Mass insurance?

why is it that in massachustts that if you have a deductable of $500 on your car insurance policy and put in a claim for $900 dollars you are charged a surcharge of $360 for 6 years why do we have insurance and pay a high premium to start with. they should pay the claim for the $400 difference without a surcharge. i have 3 cars insured and it seems that i pay for the insurance but have no benefit from it.

How can I lower my insurance rate?

I got a speeding ticket back in july of '04. My insurace went up recently. I am past the traffic school time. I live in CA. Is there anything I can do to lower my rate increase

Can anyone recommend me high school football insurance?

Last year I signed up for insurance called Myers-Stevens, and they covered me only $500 out of $15000 for out-patient surgical equipment fees for my ACL Reconstruction. What the f*** man, do they use arthroscope once and throw it away or something? however, they are the worst school insurance you could get. Can someone recommend me a good High School Tackle Football Insurance Program that actually covers the accidents and injuries? So I have no fear of playing football in fear of getting injured and its high-cost medical bills I have to pay? I live in Southern-California, Los Angeles""

Do you feel sorry for insurance companies?

Insurance companies that helped develop Obamacare?

How will my insurance handle a guy that hit someones head in my car?

a guy hit someones head into my car and says he wants to go through insurance to pay for it. I had nothing to do with it, I just happened to be there, but theres a good sized dent. Is this going to make my rates go up? i took it to get an estimate and was around $450""

""GPS worth $600 got stolen, should I report to insurance company?""

My GPS worth $600 got stolen from my car 2 days ago, as it was parked in front of my house. Should I report the insurance company and if I do will my insurance rate be affected? My GPS carried also the name of the insurance company, I purchased it from them.""

""If you are a teenager with your own car, how much do you pay for car insurance???????""

i was just wondering because i want to get a car eventualy and i know that it will be very high......... also for example if your 16 and you get a car from 1991, how much would you think you would play a month for insurance?""

Quad insurance abd bike insurance ?

Jw if I get a 125 or 250 quad if the insurance will be similar to a bike or car same with tax Cheers

How much would it cost for insurance for a 2004 Yamaha Blaster?

im considering buying a quad im wondering how much it would cost.

""What is the cheapest car insurance in los angeles, ca?""

What is the cheapest car insurance in los angeles, ca?""

When you buy a new car ... does it come with insurance?

someone told me that after you buy a new car .. the dealership gives you insurance for a month until you get your own. is that true or do I have to get insurance before I buy the car?

How much would insurance be on a 99;-00' mustang gt for a 17 year old?

I'm buying my first car and i'm determined to get a mustang...i'm truly working my butt off to buy it. and i was just wondering how much insurance would be on it. the car would be added to my parents policy under one of there name's, but i would be driving it. so i was just wondering how much a month i'd be looking at paying. Additional details: -eagle scout -A B student - no wrecks, tickets, anything thanks for the help!""

How can I get heath insurance?

Im 21 college student and just got layed off I havent had health insurance for like 3 years and I need to go to a doctor like a gyno anywayz im going to the social services office to see if I can get like a low cost health insurance from the state or something I live in ct... but if they don't help me how much health insurance is a month? I can't afford more then 50 dollars a month I just got layeoff and I don't like getting help from the state but I really need to see a doctor

Insurance for moving to USA?

Myself and my partner are moving to the USA. We will need travel insurance and some health cover, and although we will both have health insurance with our new jobs, we will need cover for the first month and I am looking to see if I can find a travel insurance policy that provide the cover. Trouble is, the standard travel insurance I have seen so far assume that we will still live in the UK and that we just want cover for a months 'holiday'. One way travel insurance seems to stop 24 hours after we land in the USA Does anyone know of a one way travel insurance that will cover us for the journey and the first months stay""

Where is the best online insurance in california without broker and billing fees?

i was wondering where i could find auto insurance online that i dont have to pay broker fees and billing fees in california, my insurance was $197.00 , but ended up paying $298.00 with the billing fees""

""NYC Car insurance for 18 year old dude, please help.?""

Ok so heres the deal, I am 18, a guy, living in nyc and looking to buy my first car. Now my parents dont drive so Im on my own for insurance. Now Ive been shopping around to every large company and even small, and the lowest I could get a monthly payment down to was around $371 a month. That is the state minimum coverage with no collision coverage. Its gonna be used whatever I get so I dont need the collision. Now the help I need is if anyone knows any possible way to get anything cheaper, I can deal with something like $200-$250 a month. If anyone has a success story or knows any agents or brokers personally and could help, Id love to know. Now dont tell me I should go on a family member or something, thats not an option. Ive done all the research and been doing quotes 24/7. Now Im a student just trying to get to school and work safely and efficiently. I have a clean license nothing on it. Please and thank you for any help.""

How much money do you have to make an hour to be able to support yourself.?

It's a simple question, don't make it a complacated one.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/insurance-company-does-want-pay-my-car-damages-what-should-green/"

[thewritingsofjustinroy]

June 10, 2018

Dear Janis, 

Sometimes, when I’m left alone with only my thoughts, I wonder if I’m truly becoming the man I’m supposed to be for the rest of my life. I often reflect back on all the qualities, talents, accolades, and possessions I dreamed of possessing one day, prior to my early 20s. 

I used to fantasize about becoming the kind of man that everyone wanted to be around, and that everyone loved; I wanted to be successful, altruistic, and important. I was going to be a college graduate by 22, deeply involved in local politics and community activism —becoming the kind of great man that allies adored and enemies envied. I was supposed to be in love to the man I would commit my life to, be surrounded by a tribe of faithful friends, and my family would have finally realized my rectitude and grown to embrace me.   

Currently, at 29, I can’t say that any of those dreams became reality. In fact, none of them did. The older I get, the more complacent I become. The older I get, the less sure I am of my potential. The older I get, the more ashamed I am of just how arrogant, delusional, and absolutely full of myself I’ve always been.

I’ve yet to matriculate and —quite honestly— I am still very unsure of what I want to do with my life; therefore, I have no idea what I should study. Though I love my job with an unreal passion, and though I have devoted myself to a “career” making nearly $10 less an hour than every person my age that I encounter, I am fully aware of how expendable I am. I have worked so hard to move up, but I truly can’t imagine anyone saving me from ever losing my job. As far as anything extracurricular is concerned, I am not involved in anything outside my own selfish, work-obsessed existence. To be honest, I have no idea how to even get involved in community activism, and can barely imagine myself attending a city hall meeting. And as far as my friends and family are concerned, I’m “too busy” to do anything.

The truth is, I’m just too wrapped up in this self-involved loop of self-pity and bitterness that I am willfully stuck in.      

I was looking through my computer recently, and I came across an old Word document containing the “Eight Humanly Virtues” I wished to live by and personify. I modeled it after Benjamin Franklin’s thirteen virtues, which he wrote in his early 20s. I chose eight, largely because 8 is my favorite number, but also because I think I knew I was too flawed to embody any amount of virtues in the double digits. 

The “Eight Humanly Virtues” are as follows:

I. Faith II. Altruism III. Justice IV. Temperance V. Patience VI. Fortitude VII. Prudence VIII. Modesty

I can assure you, I fall short of these virtues by an embarrassing degree.

I. My faith in God is unshakable. Though, admittedly, I frequently wish He actively did more to prevent and mitigate the suffering of others. My faith in others, however, is challenged every day, and is minimal at best. My faith in myself is, in a paradoxical way, even worse. I know that I accomplish anything I put my mind to, and I know that  —for the most part— I’m treated well by those I treat well. Yet, no matter how great my life may be going, I’m perpetually petrified that I will fuck it up at any given moment. 

II. My altruism is all talk. Yeah, I’m not a douche bag to others, and I really try to help those I can; I listen well and can even be nurturing to those in need. I’m not deliberately serving my community, though. As much as I love the idea, you’re not going to find me on VolunteerMatch or handing out food to those in need. I’m not exactly the “thoughts and prayers” type, but I guess I’ve reached the point where I know I can’t do anything to help others (lack of faith in myself, perhaps?), so I don’t even bother. It’s pathetic of me. My poor younger self would be so ashamed. I know I am. I like to imagine that my 30s will bring me the kind of career success I’ve been striving for, which will then allow me to give back and serve those who need serving, but only time will tell that. The spirit of that altruistic young man still exists within me; it’s just a matter of keeping the cynic inside me quiet long enough to get a running start.  

III. Justice is a virtue that’s hard to live by, and I’m not sure why I included it, because it’s almost always contingent on two or more people. I treat others fair and give them the respect I hope to receive, but Lord knows I’m aware of the game, and I know how to play it. I maintain my own fair share; however, when I suspect I’m not getting it, I’ve sure as hell been known to fight for it. To truly live a just life, everyone has to demand and represent justice. Until that happens, I can only do what I can. 

IV. I love booze and I LOVE the person I become when I’ve been drinking. With that said, I was a cocaine enthusiast for many years, and I never loved myself more than when I was using coke. Having been clean for many years, however, I’ve sublimated my snow addition on junk food, soda, candy, and as much booze on the weekends as I want. What a hypocritical bitch I was for including temperance as a virtue I wanted to epitomize. When I wrote these virtues, I was just embracing my twink days; spending my nights dancing the pounds of my chubby adolescence away in a cocaine-and-MDMA-fueled frenzy. And guess what? Life was fucking awesome.

V. I’m honestly not sure if I’m a patient person or not. It comes and goes, depending on the situation, really. I can suffer a great deal without expressing my dissatisfaction. Usually, it’s trivial nuisances that get under my skin, such as a person in front of me moving or driving too slowly, or a someone not thinking or reacting as fast as I expect. The older I get, the greater my patience and self-restraint becomes, I think. I hope to be going in the right direction. 

VI. Fortitude is definitely a virtue I exemplify, but I do think it’s because it’s the easiest to maintain. People do not intimidate me, and I’m not afraid to be confronted or put in a life or death situation. I haven’t feared others since middle school. As an adolescent, and well into young adulthood, I have always spoken my mind, stood up for what I thought was right, and never backed down from adversity. The older I’ve become, the less shit I’m willing to accept. I’m always reminded of a quote from Helen Keller (talk about true fortitude), “Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” We are not meant to live in this word paralyzed by fear and subjugated by others. Now, if I can only find the fortitude to fight for what I truly want in this life. 

VII. I think prudence is another virtue I live by because I have to. You can’t expect to live the kind of life you want without learning and growing from the mistakes of your past, and mistakes teach us how to avoid the same missteps in the future; it gives us the wisdom we need to thrive. That’s if you survive them, of course. My common sense has given me a lot of advantages throughout my life, and has helped me to avoid a great deal of unnecessary hardship. Prudence is really just being smart enough to take notes and learning to trust your gut.

VII. I’ll be real with you, Janis, I’m only modest because I have to be; I’m too unattractive and untalented to be confident. If I had a killer body, or could carry a tune, or had a PhD in a field that was helping me bank, I would probably be cocky as fuck. 

Who knows what the future holds for me? I’m never going to be the kind of great man I used to fantasize about becoming, because I was never the kind of young person they were. I have lived a disreputable life, and developed a lot of bad habits that inhibit greatness and righteousness. I can only hope for the kind of feckless life of mediocrity that I used to look down on. 

My hope is that my 30s bring me clarity, resolve, and reinvigoration; I hope my 30s bring me the courage to shed my childishness and self-loathing, and the inspiration to give back and help others.

I’m not the man I want to be, Janis. And it’s all my fault.   

[emlydunstan]

The Biggest Red Flag to Watch for in Sobriety

There are actually 2 major red flags to watch out for depending on where you are at in your sobriety journey.

The first red flag that I would caution you about is often addressed in AA meetings in early recovery, and that would be anger and resentment.

It is fairly obvious to most people in recovery that if you get extremely upset or angry at another person then it can put you at serious risk of relapse. This is also why there is such a large emphasis in early recovery on working through the 12 steps of AA, which attempt to help a person deal with resentments. It should be noted that some people in early recovery have not even identified their resentments and may not even be fully aware that they are “re-sending anger” to someone in their past.

One of the things that I recommend for people in early recovery is to try to get into some sort of counseling or therapy in addition to any AA or NA meetings they may be attending. Therapy and counseling are not the same as going to AA and you can definitely get some different benefits by going to both of these things. Your sponsor in AA will touch on things that your therapist does not address, and vice versa. Therefore I strongly urge people to explore both paths of personal growth in early recovery. If you skip the therapy or counseling route then you may be leaving serious issues on the table that may one day trigger a relapse.

Working through your resentments and anger is important in early recovery–no doubt about it. But what about the other red flag that can creep into someone’s life during long term recovery?

That second red flag I am cautioning you about today is that of complacency. This happens after you are well established in early recovery and you have already built a solid foundation of sobriety and you are fairly relaxed in your approach to sobriety at this point.

Complacency happens when you get a bit lazy in your approach to recovery. You believe that you have it figured out now, and that the threat of relapse is now diminished because you are so strong in your recovery.

What is complacency? At its core, complacency is a lack of personal growth. And the problem is that the recovering alcoholic or addict feels justified in slacking off a bit in their recovery efforts because they have accumulated a bit of clean time and they are basically doing well in their recovery so far.

A few important things to note here: There comes a point, in my experience, at which a recovering alcoholic cannot just “double down” on traditional early recovery techniques in order to get back on track.

What do I mean by this? In early recovery, there are typical suggestions such as “Go to an AA meeting every day” and “Call your sponsor every day” and things of that sort.

While those suggestions are certainly proven and helpful, they are not necessarily going to help someone who has already traversed early sobriety and is now floundering with complacency. There comes a point at which the recovering alcoholic has to move forward and work on their own personal growth and reach for their own goals, rather than to rely on daily meetings.

That probably sounds like a harsh criticism of meetings, and it is not meant to be. You can become complacent by attending meetings every day and relying on them to keep you sober. If that is all you are doing and there is no real growth or progress happening then yes, complacency can become an issue.

So how do we overcome this threat of complacency? What do you do if you discover that this red flag is present in your own recovery?

Increasing your awareness of the problem is the biggest thing. Complacency kills because people either deny it or they don’t even know about it. So knowing that you might be complacent and then creating a plan to fix it is over half of the battle in this case. In fact, it does not hurt for everyone to make the assumption that you have already become complacent, and therefore you need to create a plan to create more forward movement and personal growth. You can only benefit from making this assumption.

So the drive for change has to come from within, and you must make the decision that you are going to strive for personal growth. Once you have made this decision, you can then reach out and tap into various resources that can help you. AA sponsorship and therapists can be of help here because they can help you to identify potential areas for personal growth in your life.

In other words, you need to do something positive and make changes and move forward, but there are a million different ways that you could do this. So how do you know what positive changes to make?

One, you can prioritize this yourself to the best of your ability. Two, you can seek advice from your sponsor or therapist in finding areas of your life that could benefit from personal growth.

If you are prioritizing these positive changes for yourself then I would recommend that you look carefully at the various “pain points” in your life today. Figure out your biggest source of anxiety or stress, and then start asking for advice from people about how to eliminate or reduce that anxiety. This is going to be the biggest possible return that you can get in terms of your efforts when it comes to improving the quality of your life in recovery.

Sure, you can figure out what you want in life and strive to achieve your goals, but it is also important to look at what is affecting you negatively in your life right now and attempt to fix those problems too. I have found that the biggest leaps forward in freedom and happiness for me have been when I fixed something negative or reduced a source of my stress or anxiety. That is how I suggest you prioritize your initial personal growth efforts.

Next I suggest that you, again, seek out a therapist or a counselor who can help you to identify your own pain points in life, and they can also help you to discover opportunities for your own happiness and freedom. We cannot always see the problems or issues that are right under our own noses because we are living too close to the problem and have been for a long time. Therefore, having an objective party that can help us to identify these opportunities can be very helpful, especially in early recovery.

If you feel as if you are no longer really pushing yourself to grow in recovery then you have just identified the red flag that is complacency. You can kick start yourself back into taking positive action by seeking out advice and figuring out where your biggest “win” would be in terms of personal growth, then going after it. Good luck!

The post The Biggest Red Flag to Watch for in Sobriety appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 http://www.spiritualriver.com/alcoholism/biggest-red-flag-watch-sobriety/

[pitz182]

The Biggest Red Flag to Watch for in Sobriety

There are actually 2 major red flags to watch out for depending on where you are at in your sobriety journey.

The first red flag that I would caution you about is often addressed in AA meetings in early recovery, and that would be anger and resentment.

It is fairly obvious to most people in recovery that if you get extremely upset or angry at another person then it can put you at serious risk of relapse. This is also why there is such a large emphasis in early recovery on working through the 12 steps of AA, which attempt to help a person deal with resentments. It should be noted that some people in early recovery have not even identified their resentments and may not even be fully aware that they are “re-sending anger” to someone in their past.

One of the things that I recommend for people in early recovery is to try to get into some sort of counseling or therapy in addition to any AA or NA meetings they may be attending. Therapy and counseling are not the same as going to AA and you can definitely get some different benefits by going to both of these things. Your sponsor in AA will touch on things that your therapist does not address, and vice versa. Therefore I strongly urge people to explore both paths of personal growth in early recovery. If you skip the therapy or counseling route then you may be leaving serious issues on the table that may one day trigger a relapse.

Working through your resentments and anger is important in early recovery–no doubt about it. But what about the other red flag that can creep into someone’s life during long term recovery?

That second red flag I am cautioning you about today is that of complacency. This happens after you are well established in early recovery and you have already built a solid foundation of sobriety and you are fairly relaxed in your approach to sobriety at this point.

Complacency happens when you get a bit lazy in your approach to recovery. You believe that you have it figured out now, and that the threat of relapse is now diminished because you are so strong in your recovery.

What is complacency? At its core, complacency is a lack of personal growth. And the problem is that the recovering alcoholic or addict feels justified in slacking off a bit in their recovery efforts because they have accumulated a bit of clean time and they are basically doing well in their recovery so far.

A few important things to note here: There comes a point, in my experience, at which a recovering alcoholic cannot just “double down” on traditional early recovery techniques in order to get back on track.

What do I mean by this? In early recovery, there are typical suggestions such as “Go to an AA meeting every day” and “Call your sponsor every day” and things of that sort.

While those suggestions are certainly proven and helpful, they are not necessarily going to help someone who has already traversed early sobriety and is now floundering with complacency. There comes a point at which the recovering alcoholic has to move forward and work on their own personal growth and reach for their own goals, rather than to rely on daily meetings.

That probably sounds like a harsh criticism of meetings, and it is not meant to be. You can become complacent by attending meetings every day and relying on them to keep you sober. If that is all you are doing and there is no real growth or progress happening then yes, complacency can become an issue.

So how do we overcome this threat of complacency? What do you do if you discover that this red flag is present in your own recovery?

Increasing your awareness of the problem is the biggest thing. Complacency kills because people either deny it or they don’t even know about it. So knowing that you might be complacent and then creating a plan to fix it is over half of the battle in this case. In fact, it does not hurt for everyone to make the assumption that you have already become complacent, and therefore you need to create a plan to create more forward movement and personal growth. You can only benefit from making this assumption.

So the drive for change has to come from within, and you must make the decision that you are going to strive for personal growth. Once you have made this decision, you can then reach out and tap into various resources that can help you. AA sponsorship and therapists can be of help here because they can help you to identify potential areas for personal growth in your life.

In other words, you need to do something positive and make changes and move forward, but there are a million different ways that you could do this. So how do you know what positive changes to make?

One, you can prioritize this yourself to the best of your ability. Two, you can seek advice from your sponsor or therapist in finding areas of your life that could benefit from personal growth.

If you are prioritizing these positive changes for yourself then I would recommend that you look carefully at the various “pain points” in your life today. Figure out your biggest source of anxiety or stress, and then start asking for advice from people about how to eliminate or reduce that anxiety. This is going to be the biggest possible return that you can get in terms of your efforts when it comes to improving the quality of your life in recovery.

Sure, you can figure out what you want in life and strive to achieve your goals, but it is also important to look at what is affecting you negatively in your life right now and attempt to fix those problems too. I have found that the biggest leaps forward in freedom and happiness for me have been when I fixed something negative or reduced a source of my stress or anxiety. That is how I suggest you prioritize your initial personal growth efforts.

Next I suggest that you, again, seek out a therapist or a counselor who can help you to identify your own pain points in life, and they can also help you to discover opportunities for your own happiness and freedom. We cannot always see the problems or issues that are right under our own noses because we are living too close to the problem and have been for a long time. Therefore, having an objective party that can help us to identify these opportunities can be very helpful, especially in early recovery.

If you feel as if you are no longer really pushing yourself to grow in recovery then you have just identified the red flag that is complacency. You can kick start yourself back into taking positive action by seeking out advice and figuring out where your biggest “win” would be in terms of personal growth, then going after it. Good luck!

The post The Biggest Red Flag to Watch for in Sobriety appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.

[alexdmorgan30]

The Biggest Red Flag to Watch for in Sobriety

There are actually 2 major red flags to watch out for depending on where you are at in your sobriety journey.

The first red flag that I would caution you about is often addressed in AA meetings in early recovery, and that would be anger and resentment.

It is fairly obvious to most people in recovery that if you get extremely upset or angry at another person then it can put you at serious risk of relapse. This is also why there is such a large emphasis in early recovery on working through the 12 steps of AA, which attempt to help a person deal with resentments. It should be noted that some people in early recovery have not even identified their resentments and may not even be fully aware that they are “re-sending anger” to someone in their past.

One of the things that I recommend for people in early recovery is to try to get into some sort of counseling or therapy in addition to any AA or NA meetings they may be attending. Therapy and counseling are not the same as going to AA and you can definitely get some different benefits by going to both of these things. Your sponsor in AA will touch on things that your therapist does not address, and vice versa. Therefore I strongly urge people to explore both paths of personal growth in early recovery. If you skip the therapy or counseling route then you may be leaving serious issues on the table that may one day trigger a relapse.

Working through your resentments and anger is important in early recovery–no doubt about it. But what about the other red flag that can creep into someone’s life during long term recovery?

That second red flag I am cautioning you about today is that of complacency. This happens after you are well established in early recovery and you have already built a solid foundation of sobriety and you are fairly relaxed in your approach to sobriety at this point.

Complacency happens when you get a bit lazy in your approach to recovery. You believe that you have it figured out now, and that the threat of relapse is now diminished because you are so strong in your recovery.

What is complacency? At its core, complacency is a lack of personal growth. And the problem is that the recovering alcoholic or addict feels justified in slacking off a bit in their recovery efforts because they have accumulated a bit of clean time and they are basically doing well in their recovery so far.

A few important things to note here: There comes a point, in my experience, at which a recovering alcoholic cannot just “double down” on traditional early recovery techniques in order to get back on track.

What do I mean by this? In early recovery, there are typical suggestions such as “Go to an AA meeting every day” and “Call your sponsor every day” and things of that sort.

While those suggestions are certainly proven and helpful, they are not necessarily going to help someone who has already traversed early sobriety and is now floundering with complacency. There comes a point at which the recovering alcoholic has to move forward and work on their own personal growth and reach for their own goals, rather than to rely on daily meetings.

That probably sounds like a harsh criticism of meetings, and it is not meant to be. You can become complacent by attending meetings every day and relying on them to keep you sober. If that is all you are doing and there is no real growth or progress happening then yes, complacency can become an issue.

So how do we overcome this threat of complacency? What do you do if you discover that this red flag is present in your own recovery?

Increasing your awareness of the problem is the biggest thing. Complacency kills because people either deny it or they don’t even know about it. So knowing that you might be complacent and then creating a plan to fix it is over half of the battle in this case. In fact, it does not hurt for everyone to make the assumption that you have already become complacent, and therefore you need to create a plan to create more forward movement and personal growth. You can only benefit from making this assumption.

So the drive for change has to come from within, and you must make the decision that you are going to strive for personal growth. Once you have made this decision, you can then reach out and tap into various resources that can help you. AA sponsorship and therapists can be of help here because they can help you to identify potential areas for personal growth in your life.

In other words, you need to do something positive and make changes and move forward, but there are a million different ways that you could do this. So how do you know what positive changes to make?

One, you can prioritize this yourself to the best of your ability. Two, you can seek advice from your sponsor or therapist in finding areas of your life that could benefit from personal growth.

If you are prioritizing these positive changes for yourself then I would recommend that you look carefully at the various “pain points” in your life today. Figure out your biggest source of anxiety or stress, and then start asking for advice from people about how to eliminate or reduce that anxiety. This is going to be the biggest possible return that you can get in terms of your efforts when it comes to improving the quality of your life in recovery.

Sure, you can figure out what you want in life and strive to achieve your goals, but it is also important to look at what is affecting you negatively in your life right now and attempt to fix those problems too. I have found that the biggest leaps forward in freedom and happiness for me have been when I fixed something negative or reduced a source of my stress or anxiety. That is how I suggest you prioritize your initial personal growth efforts.

Next I suggest that you, again, seek out a therapist or a counselor who can help you to identify your own pain points in life, and they can also help you to discover opportunities for your own happiness and freedom. We cannot always see the problems or issues that are right under our own noses because we are living too close to the problem and have been for a long time. Therefore, having an objective party that can help us to identify these opportunities can be very helpful, especially in early recovery.

If you feel as if you are no longer really pushing yourself to grow in recovery then you have just identified the red flag that is complacency. You can kick start yourself back into taking positive action by seeking out advice and figuring out where your biggest “win” would be in terms of personal growth, then going after it. Good luck!

The post The Biggest Red Flag to Watch for in Sobriety appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 http://ift.tt/2ERASYP

[bobbiejwray]

The Biggest Red Flag to Watch for in Sobriety

There are actually 2 major red flags to watch out for depending on where you are at in your sobriety journey.

The first red flag that I would caution you about is often addressed in AA meetings in early recovery, and that would be anger and resentment.

It is fairly obvious to most people in recovery that if you get extremely upset or angry at another person then it can put you at serious risk of relapse. This is also why there is such a large emphasis in early recovery on working through the 12 steps of AA, which attempt to help a person deal with resentments. It should be noted that some people in early recovery have not even identified their resentments and may not even be fully aware that they are “re-sending anger” to someone in their past.

One of the things that I recommend for people in early recovery is to try to get into some sort of counseling or therapy in addition to any AA or NA meetings they may be attending. Therapy and counseling are not the same as going to AA and you can definitely get some different benefits by going to both of these things. Your sponsor in AA will touch on things that your therapist does not address, and vice versa. Therefore I strongly urge people to explore both paths of personal growth in early recovery. If you skip the therapy or counseling route then you may be leaving serious issues on the table that may one day trigger a relapse.

Working through your resentments and anger is important in early recovery–no doubt about it. But what about the other red flag that can creep into someone’s life during long term recovery?

That second red flag I am cautioning you about today is that of complacency. This happens after you are well established in early recovery and you have already built a solid foundation of sobriety and you are fairly relaxed in your approach to sobriety at this point.

Complacency happens when you get a bit lazy in your approach to recovery. You believe that you have it figured out now, and that the threat of relapse is now diminished because you are so strong in your recovery.

What is complacency? At its core, complacency is a lack of personal growth. And the problem is that the recovering alcoholic or addict feels justified in slacking off a bit in their recovery efforts because they have accumulated a bit of clean time and they are basically doing well in their recovery so far.

A few important things to note here: There comes a point, in my experience, at which a recovering alcoholic cannot just “double down” on traditional early recovery techniques in order to get back on track.

What do I mean by this? In early recovery, there are typical suggestions such as “Go to an AA meeting every day” and “Call your sponsor every day” and things of that sort.

While those suggestions are certainly proven and helpful, they are not necessarily going to help someone who has already traversed early sobriety and is now floundering with complacency. There comes a point at which the recovering alcoholic has to move forward and work on their own personal growth and reach for their own goals, rather than to rely on daily meetings.

That probably sounds like a harsh criticism of meetings, and it is not meant to be. You can become complacent by attending meetings every day and relying on them to keep you sober. If that is all you are doing and there is no real growth or progress happening then yes, complacency can become an issue.

So how do we overcome this threat of complacency? What do you do if you discover that this red flag is present in your own recovery?

Increasing your awareness of the problem is the biggest thing. Complacency kills because people either deny it or they don’t even know about it. So knowing that you might be complacent and then creating a plan to fix it is over half of the battle in this case. In fact, it does not hurt for everyone to make the assumption that you have already become complacent, and therefore you need to create a plan to create more forward movement and personal growth. You can only benefit from making this assumption.

So the drive for change has to come from within, and you must make the decision that you are going to strive for personal growth. Once you have made this decision, you can then reach out and tap into various resources that can help you. AA sponsorship and therapists can be of help here because they can help you to identify potential areas for personal growth in your life.

In other words, you need to do something positive and make changes and move forward, but there are a million different ways that you could do this. So how do you know what positive changes to make?

One, you can prioritize this yourself to the best of your ability. Two, you can seek advice from your sponsor or therapist in finding areas of your life that could benefit from personal growth.

If you are prioritizing these positive changes for yourself then I would recommend that you look carefully at the various “pain points” in your life today. Figure out your biggest source of anxiety or stress, and then start asking for advice from people about how to eliminate or reduce that anxiety. This is going to be the biggest possible return that you can get in terms of your efforts when it comes to improving the quality of your life in recovery.

Sure, you can figure out what you want in life and strive to achieve your goals, but it is also important to look at what is affecting you negatively in your life right now and attempt to fix those problems too. I have found that the biggest leaps forward in freedom and happiness for me have been when I fixed something negative or reduced a source of my stress or anxiety. That is how I suggest you prioritize your initial personal growth efforts.

Next I suggest that you, again, seek out a therapist or a counselor who can help you to identify your own pain points in life, and they can also help you to discover opportunities for your own happiness and freedom. We cannot always see the problems or issues that are right under our own noses because we are living too close to the problem and have been for a long time. Therefore, having an objective party that can help us to identify these opportunities can be very helpful, especially in early recovery.

If you feel as if you are no longer really pushing yourself to grow in recovery then you have just identified the red flag that is complacency. You can kick start yourself back into taking positive action by seeking out advice and figuring out where your biggest “win” would be in terms of personal growth, then going after it. Good luck!

The post The Biggest Red Flag to Watch for in Sobriety appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241842 http://ift.tt/2ERASYP

[violetsgallant]

The Biggest Red Flag to Watch for in Sobriety

There are actually 2 major red flags to watch out for depending on where you are at in your sobriety journey.

The first red flag that I would caution you about is often addressed in AA meetings in early recovery, and that would be anger and resentment.

It is fairly obvious to most people in recovery that if you get extremely upset or angry at another person then it can put you at serious risk of relapse. This is also why there is such a large emphasis in early recovery on working through the 12 steps of AA, which attempt to help a person deal with resentments. It should be noted that some people in early recovery have not even identified their resentments and may not even be fully aware that they are “re-sending anger” to someone in their past.

One of the things that I recommend for people in early recovery is to try to get into some sort of counseling or therapy in addition to any AA or NA meetings they may be attending. Therapy and counseling are not the same as going to AA and you can definitely get some different benefits by going to both of these things. Your sponsor in AA will touch on things that your therapist does not address, and vice versa. Therefore I strongly urge people to explore both paths of personal growth in early recovery. If you skip the therapy or counseling route then you may be leaving serious issues on the table that may one day trigger a relapse.

Working through your resentments and anger is important in early recovery–no doubt about it. But what about the other red flag that can creep into someone’s life during long term recovery?

That second red flag I am cautioning you about today is that of complacency. This happens after you are well established in early recovery and you have already built a solid foundation of sobriety and you are fairly relaxed in your approach to sobriety at this point.

Complacency happens when you get a bit lazy in your approach to recovery. You believe that you have it figured out now, and that the threat of relapse is now diminished because you are so strong in your recovery.

What is complacency? At its core, complacency is a lack of personal growth. And the problem is that the recovering alcoholic or addict feels justified in slacking off a bit in their recovery efforts because they have accumulated a bit of clean time and they are basically doing well in their recovery so far.

A few important things to note here: There comes a point, in my experience, at which a recovering alcoholic cannot just “double down” on traditional early recovery techniques in order to get back on track.

What do I mean by this? In early recovery, there are typical suggestions such as “Go to an AA meeting every day” and “Call your sponsor every day” and things of that sort.

While those suggestions are certainly proven and helpful, they are not necessarily going to help someone who has already traversed early sobriety and is now floundering with complacency. There comes a point at which the recovering alcoholic has to move forward and work on their own personal growth and reach for their own goals, rather than to rely on daily meetings.

That probably sounds like a harsh criticism of meetings, and it is not meant to be. You can become complacent by attending meetings every day and relying on them to keep you sober. If that is all you are doing and there is no real growth or progress happening then yes, complacency can become an issue.

So how do we overcome this threat of complacency? What do you do if you discover that this red flag is present in your own recovery?

Increasing your awareness of the problem is the biggest thing. Complacency kills because people either deny it or they don’t even know about it. So knowing that you might be complacent and then creating a plan to fix it is over half of the battle in this case. In fact, it does not hurt for everyone to make the assumption that you have already become complacent, and therefore you need to create a plan to create more forward movement and personal growth. You can only benefit from making this assumption.

So the drive for change has to come from within, and you must make the decision that you are going to strive for personal growth. Once you have made this decision, you can then reach out and tap into various resources that can help you. AA sponsorship and therapists can be of help here because they can help you to identify potential areas for personal growth in your life.

In other words, you need to do something positive and make changes and move forward, but there are a million different ways that you could do this. So how do you know what positive changes to make?

One, you can prioritize this yourself to the best of your ability. Two, you can seek advice from your sponsor or therapist in finding areas of your life that could benefit from personal growth.

If you are prioritizing these positive changes for yourself then I would recommend that you look carefully at the various “pain points” in your life today. Figure out your biggest source of anxiety or stress, and then start asking for advice from people about how to eliminate or reduce that anxiety. This is going to be the biggest possible return that you can get in terms of your efforts when it comes to improving the quality of your life in recovery.

Sure, you can figure out what you want in life and strive to achieve your goals, but it is also important to look at what is affecting you negatively in your life right now and attempt to fix those problems too. I have found that the biggest leaps forward in freedom and happiness for me have been when I fixed something negative or reduced a source of my stress or anxiety. That is how I suggest you prioritize your initial personal growth efforts.

Next I suggest that you, again, seek out a therapist or a counselor who can help you to identify your own pain points in life, and they can also help you to discover opportunities for your own happiness and freedom. We cannot always see the problems or issues that are right under our own noses because we are living too close to the problem and have been for a long time. Therefore, having an objective party that can help us to identify these opportunities can be very helpful, especially in early recovery.

If you feel as if you are no longer really pushing yourself to grow in recovery then you have just identified the red flag that is complacency. You can kick start yourself back into taking positive action by seeking out advice and figuring out where your biggest “win” would be in terms of personal growth, then going after it. Good luck!

The post The Biggest Red Flag to Watch for in Sobriety appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241844 http://ift.tt/2ERASYP