#and then when i get interviews basically making me self doubt myself

[foxxyrola]

Step 0: Learning to Learn

The biggest challenge in my self improvement journey begins with a question: "How in the nine hells am I supposed to sit my ass down and learn anything? My body just keeps pacing around, looking for yet another distraction. iwi"

Don't get me wrong, I desperately want to apply myself, just struggle in the initiation. And the follow through. I would take a few lessons in learning Godot for game making, then move on to something else, new and shiny. I'd learn all the Hiragana, but then not touch the Japanese language for weeks. All ambition, no action, or something like that.

Being fed up with this, I do get moments where honestly I sometimes just have to, well... Do things! Anything. I'm desperate for the dopamine hit of accomplishing something non vidya gayme related. I have to plant my ass in a chair (even if it takes an hour of pacing before I can even settle down), and give myself something to focus on as if it's life or death. I'd journal when I can. Watch some informative videos without absorbing much of it. Get stuck passively on self help YouTube and all that.

Well... It seems I got something out of it. Lately been looking into Cybersecurity (just a surface dive, like most of my dives are) and in addition to learning a little about certifications and stuff, I discovered that Coursera is a good place to find some lessons (for free too mind you, as long as you don't need their certificates or whatevs) not just for coding, but for many other things.

This is one of these (free) courses that I found: https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn

Yup, learning how to learn. Seems cheesy. Almost blew it off and didn't take it. But hey, night shifts give me a bit of free time each night, so chooms, I jumped in about a week ago and without a doubt, I certainly do not regret it.

So far in the first week of the course I watched all the necessary videos, and passed the simple quizzes for week 1. The course establishes two modes of thinking every human uses: focused and diffuse. Focused being when you think deeply on something you know how to solve already, following established prestructured neural pathways. Diffuse on the other hand being that abstract association you get when you passively sift through your brain, in sleep and relaxing, and when you're not actively looking for a concrete solution but rather let your mind wander and put things together.

Now, I've heard about routine and pomodoro techniques and taking breaks to space out learning, but it seems that with this course, something clicked. Applying the things I learned by taking personal summary notes afterwards and both actively and passively thinking about what I've just absorbed, I suddenly felt fulfilled.

I started a self care routine (nothing super much yet, just 2 hours of unwinding and exercise and meditating before bed among other things) by setting up a schedule in an app I found called RoutineFlow. Yeah, I'm not getting it consistently yet, but every day I try to at least take a step to do what I gotta do, that little push that'll help me work through stuff. I just want to get myself to do the basics so that I can grow from there.

Then I encountered my first obstacle: taking notes. The Learning to Learn course has optional materials: readings, interviews, all that fun scop. I go through fairly passively til I encounter one material. A short paper with notes on note taking from Harvard. Some 30 pages. I know I need this, I know I need to sit down and do this as it'll help.

But I couldn't do it. One day, then another day, then the weekend passes, and now I'm back at work again on Monday. My legs are restless, can't seem to sit down and do things.

So I start writing this blog. Immediately afterwards... I still can't do it.

I walk around, pace, try and sit down... Another 30 minutes passes before I open things up and begin taking notes. I literally force myself to sit, set a 25 minute pomodoro... Ok now just gotta focus in this time. Come on I can do it...!

Oh hey I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it! I start learning the material, taking some Cornell Notes on it(a good way to review notes and test yourself die to its structure) as soon as the time'l ran up, I take a break. Wow! That actually wasn't so hard. The hardest part was just sitting down and telling myself that this is what I wanna learn.

So over my free time at work over a few 25 min sessions, I learnt the importance of taking notes in my own words, reviewing them often but not cramming all at once, and testing myself on my knowledge.

It was just that first step. But hey, the more I do this, the easier it gets! Consistency, that's the name of the game. I may not have learned any new coding skills or any new words or anything, but the experience has been a most important one.

Anyways, as I finish this up, it is now time for my morning self care routine. Feeling accomplished, I think things can only get easier if I keep setting aside the time and rewarding myself consistently.

Just gotta put my ass in the chair.

#learn to code #codeblr #coding #writing #self improvement #self healing #im lazy #overwhelmed #learning #learn japanese #motivation

[peachjagiya]

Hello hello.

I recently discovered your blog and I like it very much. I love they way you express your opinion and the way you explain things to make your point.

To be honest, I am a baby army. Started listening BTS at the beginning of this year (I KNOW, what the f was I doing before? No fucking clue ugh!). This also makes me a new Taekook stand, which can be super overwhelming. Reading you blog helps puts things into perspective but I still have a few questions and I would like to know your opinion (sorry if you’ve talked about this before!) I have a lot to catch up on in terms. And find to this, social media edits do not help. They are very biased to say the least

Anyway, on to the questions.

1. When do you think Taekook became a couple? From what I’ve seen and felt, I felt a change in 2020 in the dynamic of everything. This being the videos posted, the run bts episodes, the interviews … I might be wrong but I felt a shift then and wanted to know your opinion.

2. In terms of group dynamics, how do you think the other members feel in terms of Taekook? Like I try to put myself in their shoes and it must be hard to have a good dynamic if they have couple’s fights and things like that…

3. In terms on Fan Service, I can’t help but feel bad when Tae has to witness the constant push of FS between JK and Jimin and unable to express or do anything about it. What do you think about the maknae line’s dynamic in regards to this?

There’s so much information out here sometimes I find myself doubting that they’re actually together but then I witness some instances that brings back my faith.

Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to answer. I appreciate it. Sorry if my questions are all over the place, my thoughts themselves are all over the place with this subject and I CANT SLEEEPPPP!

Bear with, it’s going to be a long one!

I’m baby army too. A year now. I just happen to be the kind of person who goes all in and devours content.

Social media edits are so discombobulating for new fans. I definitely found myself falling for some edits that I no longer consider. Fake subtitles, slow motion moments that aren’t actually moments, quora rumours… it’s a lot. I still have to remind myself what’s factual and what’s a rumour I read on a K-pop prediction Twitter. It’s a minefield. I’ve found tumblr quite useful because there’s a lot of people here who can put things into context and clarify and provide the perspective of army who were there at the time. I hope you look at my comments because that’s where the real sense is!

1. When do you think Taekook became a couple? From what I’ve seen and felt, I felt a change in 2020 in the dynamic of everything. This being the videos posted, the run bts episodes, the interviews … I might be wrong but I felt a shift then and wanted to know your opinion.

I wrote a timeline but my thoughts have evolved a bit. I think basically they’ve always been circling each other, always been interested but a combination of hormones and the massiveness of pursuing a relationship they’re societally or business-ly discouraged from having created a lot of shifting and drama. I think maybe early confessions, kissing, all that young love stuff might have occurred here.

I’ve been reading some really interesting thoughts and having great discussion about the various members relationship with the company and how this plays with Taekook.

The conclusion I keep coming to, based only on my reading of it, is that Tae seems to be a rebel with strong will to prioritise his heart, company be damned, but JK seems to be more inclined to follow his head despite his heart being huge and loud. His heart wins more and more though and that’s why you get this on and off vibe of the first half of their ten years.

2018 feels pivotal in that both of them hit a wall of pressure and seemed to separate off into a distinct unit. They get each other, they’re each others self-confessed safe space. They’re united even when the rest of the members aren’t getting through. I’m less convinced now that this was a getting together - maybe a resolve to work through complicated stuff together though.

I’d agree 2020 is a shift and that’s where I’d place it. I’m about to get overwrought but I’m thinking about it a bit lately: Think about like pandemic and the impact that had on the whole world. Suddenly work isn’t the most important thing, suddenly a shift in everyone’s priorities. I know a few people who, despite the scariness of it, actually found they were able to breathe and reassess. I decided to move my entire life back to my hometown and quit my job, very heart over head decision. I wonder if this enforced period of quiet let them reassess too. BTS Monuments shows Tae quiet and alone at home but a jacket that looks like JKs in the back. Maybe they saw each other without the intense workload. Time to talk, time to just be them and see how that worked. And hiatus/chapter two might just be a natural continuation of that. JK seems as goal oriented as ever but braver at prioritising himself and Tae seems to be the same and maybe for the first time their ambitions in heart and head are aligned which lets them move forward more smoothly.

2. In terms of group dynamics, how do you think the other members feel in terms of Taekook? Like I try to put myself in their shoes and it must be hard to have a good dynamic if they have couple’s fights and things like that…

I have a feeling it’s a professional minefield but personally that’s just their best friends in love. Maybe it makes their life a little harder to have a secret to hide but I don’t think they’d resent them. I bet they all have things they need to hide. From what they’ve said, I think Jimin might have been really entwined in it. He’s a natural carer, protective of them both. He’s often first on the scene when Tae is sad and he’s often implied he’s been there when Tae has been crying.

As for couple fights, I think about that post-Tokyo intense awkwardness between Tae and JK where they’re visibly annoyed with each other. That’s one time when it seemed the other guys were involved a little. They just seemed hyper aware of the awkward but kind of eyerolly. The thing about teens and early twenties is that you think everyone wants to know your drama. I’d imagine with maturity, they probably keep fights between themselves.

On an amusing side thought, I’ve seen two videos of potential times of discontent between Tae and JK where Yoongi has given the impression of being quietly in Tae’s corner. I think those two get each other in a really low key way that I find quite lovely.

3. In terms on Fan Service, I can’t help but feel bad when Tae has to witness the constant push of FS between JK and Jimin and unable to express or do anything about it. What do you think about the maknae line’s dynamic in regards to this?

I think it’s had an impact but not where you’d expect. The TikTok edits would have you believe Tae is seething in the corner but I don’t know if that’s entirely true. I have seen video of him seemingly rolling his eyes after laughing at Jimin and JK but it seemed notable because of how isolated it was? He is quite good at a poker face though, right? He bides his time and fills in the real details eventually. Again this is only my sense but I feel a little awkwardness between JK and Jimin over it now it’s happening less? Any time you’re expected to pretend anything is a massive mental drain on anyone. But equally, they’ve entered the buddy system together and I’m assuming that hasn’t been forced on them? So hopefully they just remain close and the fan service was all strictly business for them. Maybe I’m just imagining that they seem weird with each other.

There’s so much information out here sometimes I find myself doubting that they’re actually together but then I witness some instances that brings back my faith.

The universal Taekook experience. 😂 it’s natural to doubt. It feels too good to be true.

Thank you for lovely words and great questions, anon 💜

#my asks #taekook

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Sebek, Trey: Sugar Sweet and Bitter Step

Finally 👀 Sebek interacting with the dude that reminds him of his father… This is the juicy content I’ve been waiting for 😌 (It fucking slapped btw, did NOT disappoint 🦷 ✨ I especially loved when Sebek was describing the new candies he has tried and he describes pop rocks as candies that fucking attack you asduqbdoas) ASHDBAIDAIDqwehqbyoe8y IT WAS REALLY CUTE WHEN MALLEUS, LILIA, CATER, AND VIL'S VAS WISHED SEBEK-KUN HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN THE TWST YEAR III ANNI LIVESTREAM...

A Boy in Bloom, and his Flowering Future.

“What do you do on your days off?”

"Hmph, I'm glad you asked, human!" Sebek's laughter was smug and resounding. "I spend days off training!"

"You... train to relax? That sounds like an oxymoron."

The birthday boy scoffed. "As a knight and an attendant, there is no such thing as 'relaxing'! I must remain vigilant so as to best protect and serve the young master!!"

"I get that, but... your muscles would be sore after working out so much, right? You'd need to take some time off to recover, otherwise you'd be pushing your body to the brink and risk injuring yourself," Trey calmly pointed out. "I used to train back when I played soccer. Had to cut that short when I worked myself too hard, so I wouldn't want that to happen to you."

A sound like rumbling thunder collected in Sebek's throat. "O-Of course I know something as basic as that! I know to take breaks!! Don't belittle me, human!!

"When I say 'training', I don't mean it purely in a physical capacity! If I am not able to train my body, then I train my mind! As Lilia-sama says, tactical might has changed the course in many critical battles in the history of--"

"Oooh, I get it. You mean general self-improvement." His interviewer snapped his fingers as the clues all neatly fit together in his head. "So you like to read? What sorts of things do you usually go for?"

"A variety. I frequent the Mystery Shop to browse their selection, but Diasomnia and the school archives also contain a number of older volumes.

"Lilia-sama has advised that I expand my worldview, so I have taken it upon myself to read literature from many genres and eras. 'Even picture books have merit, Sebek! You should open your heart to them!' ... so he said."

"No kidding." Trey raised his brows. It certainly sounds like something Lilia would say... though I'm not sure how serious he was about it. "Hey, I've read some books to my little brother and sister before, so I could recommend a few to you."

"Picture books from the Queendom of Roses... I've yet to read those. I dislike having to make requests of others, but... on Lilia-sama's orders, I have no other option. You will provide a list of acceptable readings to me the day after today, understood?!"

"Sure, leave it to me." Trey offered a patient smile. "I gotta say though, I didn't think you'd be concerned about being so worldly. You seem a little too set in your own ways."

Ace and Deuce described him as hard-headed. Even Riddle said Sebek has a hard time handling horses in Equestrian Club because of his attitude.

Sebek looked as though he'd be struck in the heart. He recoiled, his face crumpling with upset.

"Hnngh!! I-I've heard as much from Lilia-sama that this would be a detriment if I am to serve the young master, who will no doubt face many diplomatic issues with other countries. That is why I'm making efforts to expand my horizons by diversifying my reading materials and experiencing new things."

"Such as...?"

"I have read in some texts that a good way to learn about other cultures is to consume their cuisine. I have taken to snacking on baked goods and sweets from different regions of Twisted Wonderland to this end. Cookies, muffins, and candies that the Mystery Shop stocks.

"There are lollipops in various shapes, candy so sour it makes your mouth bleed and colors it bright blue, and little granular candies that assault the taste buds with explosions when they hit your tongue...! Hard candies flavored with apples from different farms in Harveston, chewy taffies made with salt from the Coral Sea, gummy bugs from the Afterglow Savanna that gets stuck between my teeth, candied flowers from the Queendom of Roses..."

"Has the snacking helped you learn anything new about those places or the people that live there?" Trey asked, cocking his head.

Sebek paused to think. Moments later, he, with his full chest, proudly replied, "An Octavinelle student was monopolizing all the peppermint sticks in the shop, so I saw it fit to liberate them from his grasp!!"

"... In other words, you picked a fight with him." Trey sighed. "It’s… a start. A small one, but still a start if it gets you to interact with those outside of Diasomnia. You'll just have to keep working on that—baby steps now so you can be where you want to be in the future, yeah?"

"Indeed...!!" Sebek slammed the end of his broom into the ground, the motion hard and resolute. "If I wish to stand by Malleus-sama's side, I must do all that I can to be worthy of him. To go wherever the young master is... that is my greatest dream!!"

He grinned with his teeth, displaying prominent canines. poking out from between two rows of pearly whites. It was a smile as radiant as the sun.

"Oh, that reminds me." Trey indicated his own mouth. "I hope you're remembering to properly floss and to brush your teeth well after eating all those candies. It's important to take care of your dental hygiene, especially after eating sugary snacks."

"Grrgh...!! Where do you get off on, giving me orders!?"

"I wouldn't call them orders. They were just suggestions--though I think your teeth would be happier if you followed them," Trey joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Sebek's expression creased all the same.

"That you would see fit to suggest anything of the sort to me is offensive!!" the birthday boy grumbled. "My father makes similar remarks, no matter how often I remind him that I am a grown man!"

"Ahahah... I'm sure that's just his way of showing you that he cares. It's hard for any parent to watch their kid grow up. To them, that kid will always be their baby.

"Hmph! R-Ridiculous," Sebek declared. He haughtily turned away, his cheeks tinged pink. There was hesitation, and then an uncharacteristically quiet voice that slipped out. "You... really are like him in every conceivable way. I cannot fathom humans like you sort."

"Exactly why you're trying so hard now." Trey nodded to the sky above. It was a cornflower blue morning with a healthy sprinkling of clouds. "You've been training hard, so let's see you in action."

"D-Do not presume to understand my skill! I'll show you just how powerful I am!! Faster than light, stronger than lightning... I AM HE WHO HAS SWORN TO PROTECT THE YOUNG MASTER!!"

The vow was made, his ambitions announced.

In response to his decree, the broom fizzled to life. It lifted off the ground in a single strong stroke, Sebek easily swinging on. His robes fanned out behind him, fabric flapping loudly in an errant spring breeze.

Magic crackled in the air around them, hot as sparks, bright as stars. His spells matched his energy: loud and proud.

His grip on the handle was as steady as his resolve.

His fierce gaze, focused on the future.

#Sebek Zigvolt #Trey Clover #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland scenarios #Sebek birthday takeover #something no one asked for #spoilers #disney twisted wonderland #the peppermint stick thing and the Octavinelle student Sebek fought with is a reference to Dorm Uniform Floyd's vignettes

[lucy-phurr]

Ghost: Pompous heavy rock theater in pure culture

With the magnificent album "Impera" in their luggage, the Swedish performance hard rockers Ghost came to the Wiener Stadthalle for the first time. Only about 3,000 let themselves be carried away by the fire- and effect-rich show of mastermind Tobias Forge, who is slowly but surely working his way up to the very most important entertainers of modern rock culture. Hits paired with entertainment and a lot of irony - plus an actual interview with the band boss shortly before the concert.

The mixture of comedic elements, stylish self-irony, hard riffs, ABBAesque pop melodies and the unerring sense for an audiovisually uplifting arena show has been perfected by mastermind Forge over the years in such a way that, although the element of surprise from the past has been somewhat lost, the professionalism of the performance can compete with the greats. Pyro effects during the classic "Year Zero", an Alice Cooper-like shower of money during "Mummy Dust" or paralyzing light shows during the whole, almost two-hour set proved that the homage to the live shows of the greats of the past became second nature to Ghost. A bit more material from the new masterpiece "Impera" would have suited the band well, the Metallica cover "Enter Sandman" was rather unnecessary for that and only a highlight for narrow-minded nostalgics. Show, vocals, sound and joy of playing beyond all doubt. Before the dark mass Forge granted us audience for a conversation about role models, offerings and education methods.

"Krone": Tobias, your shows get bigger and more bombastic from tour to tour. You yourself are a huge fan of big concerts and rock spectacles. Which stage settings excited and inspired you yourself?

Tobias Forge: Those of very many bands from the 70s and 80s. The arena rock of the '60s and '70s wasn't that exciting live, but in the '80s everything was surpassed. The Beatles were still playing club shows in front of a few people, but the live business really got big with the Rolling Stones in the U.S. in the late '60s. Pink Floyd started pushing the boundaries and in the 80s the stages became bombastic. My main source of inspiration was the Rolling Stones in 1989 and 1990, but also Metallica on the "...And Justice For All" and "Black Album" tours. Iron Maiden also did great things on the "Powerslave" and "Live After Death" tours. Our show with Ghost is more a tribute to the pompous shows in the 80s.

People's attention spans are getting shorter and shorter. Do you think about that when you think about a live setting? In terms of playing time or stage design?

I've noticed that about myself. In the early '90s, Guns N' Roses were on stage for close to four hours. In 1992, they played basically everything they ever put out, plus tons of cover songs. The important thing is to make the show as interesting as possible, and when I see Guns N' Roses today, three hours is a lot. They fire out hit after hit and despite everything you lose interest at some point. If I imagine I was an 18-year-old today, I wouldn't be able to follow the long set. People's attention span is generally going down. You have to make the dramaturgy of a concert more immediate and direct. Pull people into the story immediately. I think about that a lot. A few years ago we played the "An Evening With..." tour, where we played for a little over an hour, and then after a half-hour break we played for just under another hour. All together it was about 150 minutes and including the break it was just too much. Even loyal fans told me afterwards that we should keep it a bit tighter. Currently we are playing a best-of with a few new songs.

In an interview you praised Def Leppard's songwriting on the "Hysteria" album. On the one hand, because the songs have complex structures, on the other hand they are nevertheless catchy. Is that the right melange for a Ghost song and does that benefit the shortened attention span of people again? Easy listening with pretension?

Dangerous terrain! Easy-Listening is a very vague term, because for music collectors and music freaks it has completely negative connotations, but others can very well do something with it. The Ramones have an easy standard. Verse, chorus, verse, chorus. Def Leppard composed in a very unique way in the 80s. They made giant strides in songwriting and in a very short time. Everybody knows the chorus of "Pour Some Sugar On Me", but only the real fans remember the other parts of the song, two or three riffs before or after it. This richness and versatility have always impressed me. "Hysteria" is an incredibly complex album, but it sounds so light-footed.

There are very few people in the music business who have the work ethic that you do. You are involved and in charge of everything from the songs to the stage setting and outfit to the tour schedule. You make time for interviews every concert day, and during a US tour you were constantly answering questions about Europe for the new album "Impera". Does it get too much sometimes?

I do everything with deliberate intervals. When we played the big venues in the US, it was still deepest winter and the Covid restrictions were much harder. We had an agreement with the second headlining band Volbeat that we wouldn't meet if possible, and the crews were cut off from each other as well. You could only stay inside, rehearse and practice. It was a bit like being in prison and not always easy on the mental component. To get any sun at all, you had to stand by a window and consciously soak it up - if it was there at all, because on many days there were snowstorms and fog. After a few days without sun and with two hours of interviews each, I became increasingly angry. This kind of life made me very tired and I became restless and dissatisfied. Now in Europe everything is different. The restrictions are almost gone, summer is coming and everyone is happy to be back or to see a great show. The vibe is pleasant. It's not a big problem to give some interviews besides the show.

What sacrifices have you had to make for the career with Ghost, which has been on the rise for years but demands an immense amount of time and energy?

That's always a matter of perspective. I have a wife and two kids, and of course you make sacrifices when you don't see them for a long time. But we all also reap the benefits that Ghost brings. I've been home with my family for two years now and spent an extreme amount of time with them. In a week and a half, I'll be back home and then with the family for most of the summer. That leaves me with a lot more time with everyone than most other dads. Depending on whether you consider the glass half-full or half-empty, but I like to emphasize at home that overall I get to spend even more time with everyone than others are able to. One of my kids once said I was like a visitor. That startled me a little. It wasn't meant in a bad way, but that's how it stuck with the child.

When you're on tour, a lot of things get exaggerated. But if you're really good friends with someone and you haven't had anything to do with them for seven years, then when you see them it will work again immediately. I've known a lot of people for ages who are still extremely good friends, even if we only see each other every three years because we live far apart or because I'm on tour. There are also a few people who can't stand me anymore because of my success. There was never a fight, never a problem, but they just don't like me now. Suddenly you were never friends. That's a sacrifice I can't help at all. I was presented with a fait accompli. I guess that's part of growing up. Everyone does their thing, everyone has kids and families. Even when you're not on the road, friendships slip apart.

With Ghost you can always keep the naivety and innocence of childhood. Basically, you role-play and entertain people. That's not how adult insurance agents can live....

That's what makes an artist. You get carte blanche to release your most primal child into freedom over and over again. If you read through the rock and roll biographies, almost all the good and funny stories are of musicians acting like eleven year olds. In high school and maybe even in our 20s, most of us experienced the same thing. People ask what we want to do and what we want to do with our lives. We should stop dreaming and chasing after any idols, but rather live a solid life. I was extremely unsuccessful as a musician. I didn't earn one euro from music before my 29th birthday, which also stayed in my pocket. I will never forget these many years of failure.

Today, I am incited to take as little responsibility as possible, to just carry on and dream as much as possible. But it also takes the necessary work ethic we've been talking about. For years you work towards becoming professional and succeeding. You read and learn from the best, and of course you take the chance when it's offered to you. You do everything possible. But I'm not 20 anymore and I don't have a drinking problem. I'm in the middle of life and I don't take anything for granted. It may not go on forever, so you have to seize the momentum. If I had gotten this chance 20 years ago, I might have ruined it.

Of course, parents always worry about the future of their children. Would you advise your two children to follow their dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may seem?

I wouldn't advise them against it, at least. I would be very realistic about preparing them and encouraging them to pursue their dreams, but it's important to put a lot of energy and diligence into it. That goes for anything in life. If you want to be a good boxer, practice boxing. You can't become a professional soccer player without constantly and permanently working on yourself. I spend a lot of time dreaming, but I spend even more time just working on things. When I was my kids' age, at just under 14, I was already playing in local bands. What makes me and my kids different is the way we grew up. My parents didn't have a lot of money. We were always rich in culture, but there were no big jumps. My kids are growing up without financial worries, but that makes it all the more important for me to make them understand that money is great, but not a given. And that there are other things in life that count above all else. Fortunately, my kids are very smart and understand that. I don't want to end up with kids who sit back and have no drive in life because their dad brings home the money. The kids can do whatever they want, but I want them to do something about it and not sit around. A few wrong decisions and all the money is gone. You should never rely on that permanently.

#ghost #papa iv #interview #tobias forge

[ohc-and-the-music-tapes-archive]

Article about Marshmallow Coast and interview with Andy Gonzales in Flagpole, 14 April 2004  

[source]

transcript:

The Reluctance of being earnest Marshmallow Coast's Andy Gonzales moves towards a sharper picture of himself Andy Gonzales is looking to define himself, and he's been doing it for a while. To be more specific, he's looking to have his Marshmallow Coast identity and music exist outside the realm of his more acclaimed association. In fact, when I call to ask him about the recording of his recent album Antistar, he brings up Of Montreal right off the bat and without any prompting. 

"We recorded [Antistar] with Jason NeSmith at Bel Air Studios," says Gonzales, "and it basically... well. I felt like I needed to record an album completely disassociated from Of Montreal. All the [Of Montreal] reviews would mention Kevin [Barnes, Of Montreal's primary songwriter and frontman] and not mention me.

That was pretty much my only thing to consider in the recording of this album, so I didn't want to include any of those people. That just got under my skin after a while—not that it created hard feelings, of course, but it was time to really be on my own."

Don't let Gonzales come across as bitter— he's not. But he does carry the air of someone frustrated with being overshadowed. Antistar, however, should aid in further separating Marshmallow Coast from Of Montreal's quirky pop preciousness. The album is Gonzales' fourth as Marshmallow Coast, a name he's used since his early teenage years in Denver. It's also his most distinct album to date. Marshmallow Coast's 1999 debut album Seniors and Juniors came across like an off-key and lo- fi love letter to Music Tapes' Julian Koster (also of Neutral Milk Hotel), and 2000's Marshmailow Coasting carried a strong Of Montreal sound— not surprising, since the majority of that band showed up to back Gonzales.

But with 2002's Ride the Lightning, which marked the jump from Kindercore Records to Misra Records, Gonzales started to gain his own foothold. Of the label switch, Gonzales says: "Kindercore was totally changing, and I kinda had a weird inkling that I needed to leave, but it wasn't anything other than I needed to be on a different label than Of Montreal, because that was the height of the comparison."

Antistar finds Gonzales exploring his troubadour side, turning away the more psychedelic whimsy experiments of earlier albums, instead relying on tunes more in line with the steady output of standards coming from Burt Bacharach and Elvis Costello, albeit with a Sean Lennon voice and a Jonathan Richman sense of humor. Love songs—romantic love songs populate Antistar. Says Gonzales: "Everybody feels love, and I just... more than being lovey-dovey, I try to make my songs about weirdoes who find love mysteriously. I think it's more classy to write about love, and I definitely don't have anything political to say." The album was recorded primarily in the solo setting, and Marshmallow Coast's live performance reflects that; it's Gonzales and wife Sara Kirkpatrick, who married recently in Dekalb County, accompanied by a CD for all the backing tracks and drums.

"My songwriting process has kind of evolved," says Gonzales. "It used to be that I'd just wait for inspiration, but eventually I'd just work on little bits and pieces and see how they fit together over time. Now I'm at the point where I can get my brain into writing mode when I'm in the studio recording—I might go in with just six songs, and that's not enough for a full album, so I'll write some out of sheer necessity. Some of those songs have become some of my favorites, because I'm not super-prolific like some other people are. If I tell myself I've got something to accomplish and I'm not wasting somebody's time, I can get things done. But it can be difficult."

Again, Gonzales slips comfortably into self-doubt an apologetic tone for even existing in the first place. He seems uncomfortable with his own place in the creation of music. To wit:

Andy Gonzales: By this point I just [write songs] and we don't really feel like we'll change the world or anything. Flagpole: No? AG: Not really. Sometimes I don't know why I do it. I think about all the other hundreds of bands who recorded their CDs and spent all that money in the studio and... I dunno. I guess there is a reason. FP: What is that reason? AG: Because I like doing music, and there are some people who seem to like it I mean, I totally love making music, but I've given up the romantic notion I held as a teenager that we're gonna be big or something. But there's somebody willing to put the record out, so I'll definitely have the songs ready, I guess... I mean, I would love for us to get recognition as a unique or different band, but I am happy with the recognition we've got so far.

But again, it seems to be the constant scrutiny and comparison to his musical elders that's led to Gonzales' reticence and his reluctance to take a strong stand on his own music. "The weird thing is," he says, "I've had the luxury to turn into something while people were able to watch and scrutinize. Most people might not put out their first album until they're my age now, until they've really developed as an artist and are ready to be out there. I've kind of been developing in the public eye."

Is that ever an uncomfortable situation? "I think it was in the beginning," says Gonzales, "because I'm not a very good singer, but now I think... I don't know how much consideration I give it anymore. I just want to make something really, um, pretty? Y'know, just music that's nice. I feel that if I evolve in any other way I'll try to get somebody else to sing because that's where I run into the most criticism." 

But does Gonzales like his own voice? "Yeah. Sometimes? I don't know." It seems that Gonzales' strength, then, is to let the songs speak for themselves as well as for him. Despite his self-questioning, Antistar takes a strong stand towards romance and pushes Gonzales further towards definition.

Chris Hassiotis

#articles #2004 #Andy Gonzales #Marshmallow Coast #Elephant 6

[agirldying]

i don't know where this is going lol

no particular tw, it's just overall about self doubt

sometimes i imagine myself being interviewed and asked questions about my mental health or issues as a way to kind of vent. i don't think i have really "important" problems worth going to therapy for but at the end of the day i still like a little attention and i don't really want to vent directly to people about it (i still do uncontrollably or not, this ask is one of those vents)

and i don't want to take myself too seriously either because then i fear i will use any inconvenience i deal with to just throw unneeded amounts of self pity at myself when i know i'm not really struggling.

i don't know how to really balance minimizing my issues (because they really aren't that bad lol) and knowing it's probably not peak mental health to be the way i am. so there's parts of me that's like "look i'm struggling and that makes me special" (i know it doesn't but oh well i can't help this slight belief) but also "hey it's not that bad".

i'm realizing now that i'm writing this that this very ask is part of the whole "look at me" thing. i don't know how to deal with not thinking i deserve attention for some stuff (because when i feel bad it's normal, when i do weird unhealthy stuff it's normal i swear) and kind of still wanting it (because i know it's normal if it's me and worrying when it's anyone else, but people don't know that it's normal when it's me, so maybe i can still get the pity).

one last thing about the whole it's normal when it's me thing: i don't deal with the same consistency in struggles people who are actually struggling tend to. i follow quite a few people struggling with their trauma and it feels like there isn't a day where these struggles don't come to bite them. but for me on the other hand, i can spend a few days or even weeks where everything will just be fine. and when things are bad again i can't tell what part of it is conscious. am i actively looking to struggle to feel deserving of the same attention they get or does it just come to bite me more sporadically?

i'm sending this ask and i don't even know if it's something i need to do for my own mental health or just another way of pretending. and thinking back at it, it's been years and i've taken the decision to just be okay many times, to stop talking about whatever is going on in my brain. don't let this minor inconvenience take the undeserved place of an important issue. just stop stop stop you can be normal it's not hard i'm not struggling with the same amount of complexity as them so it must be easy to be normal.

everything bad i even feel is not even palpable really. it's in the back, it's so so far. and the fact it's never really intense at all makes me wonder why i still let the thought roam until... well until i send you this random ask that started with a paragraph and is now super long (or until it feels really bad for 10 seconds at 3am and faint again, and i'm legit with the 10 seconds lol, maybe a minute at most these days)

so supposedly i don't need this ask to vent. i don't need the imagined interview let alone the therapy. i don't fucking know lol. basically my will to just ignore/stop being troubled is just 📈📉📈📈📉📈📉📉📉📈📉📈📈📉📉📉

thanks in advance for reading this interminable mess of an ask

Hi anon,

So what I'm hearing is that you often feel like what you're experiencing isn't actually that bad, though you feel like you're struggling to accept that. I can definitely understand trying to keep yourself in check and be mindful of the magnitude of a problem in the scheme of other things, but it sounds like you keep comparing your problems to others and using other people's struggles to minimize your own.

I think this all makes me curious about what exactly it is that you feel isn't that important. Because what I'm hearing is that every time you have a problem (or what you "think" is a problem) you essentially tell yourself that there is no problem. But my question is, what is that problem? Are there several? Of course you don't have to share if you don't want to, but I think it could help me help you.

There is a saying, "the first cut is the deepest". For some people that cut is deeper, but they're all deep because for that individual there is nothing else to compare it to. Does that make sense? It helps me make sense of the magnitude of our problems because when you follow that logic, it's not about what other people are going through, it's just about your experiences. What you're dealing with deserves attention no matter the size. You deserve attention. You deserve to take up space, and honestly, the length of your ask tells me you know that on some level.

I don't know if you've seen my previous posts, but I will often vent here about things that are maybe not as significant as some other things I vent about, but I still just need to process it by typing it out, posting it, and seeing what people think. I'm not necessarily taking away from more important things or wasting any kind of space by doing that, you know? Do whatever you need to do to process whatever you're going through, even if you think it's small.

I hope this made sense. I'm here if you want to reply, add on, or talk about something new. This is a space for you.

#text #asks #vent #self interview anon

[wiw3]

The Buffalo Wing Contingency

Look at this. It’s a story. Hi, everybody, near and far. It is I, your localized lunatic. I’m gonna browbeat myself a bit, in a manner of speaking, because I’m at a loss for words at my misunderstanding of the human condition on this one, people. Imagine for a moment, you had a person living with you who offered things, and when you politely refused, they accepted the refusal without rebuke.

So basically, I do nice things for them, and I don’t exactly get any payback I can use in good conscience. They give what they can, leftovers from their trip to a restaurant together as a couple, but pass it off as a gift that they’d gotten expressly for me.

That tweaked me a bit, didn’t exactly make me angry, but red-flagged me enough for me to start laughing at the concept. It was funny that someone would lie about something like that. I wouldn’t have minded being told plain and simple that their leftovers were no man’s land. First come, first served on that front.

Now I’m being asked to break my routine, and for rides, and it’s starting to tweak me more and more, so I’ll likely be updating the blog later on as to how this develops, so stay tuned if you enjoy drama. I doubt there’ll actually be drama. I tend to bite my tongue on interhouseary issues like that, and wait to see how they play out. It’s how I’ve been raised to be.

Then I come here and express my true thoughts, as raw as I possibly can, as soon as I possibly can, to an echochamber that is this blogspace. I’m blathering on about my own loneliness out here, but I’ll get to the point.

Am I supposed to continue to offer these rides when what I’m being compensated in isn’t even something I can use? Should I keep doing this out of the kindness of my heart? *Is* there any kindness in my heart if I have to ask? Hard to say. I’m a bastard, I guess I’ve always kind of known that. I’m not the most self-serving person in the world, but man, when I’m drained, I just want to be left alone.

So forgive me for wanting to hate myself a bit, but I’m tired of giving. I’m getting texts from friends requesting “emergency”-money and it’s just draining me. I’m broke, and can’t carry three people. We were just two broke guys trying to make it a couple of weeks ago, and now I have this to worry about. Now I have rides to give, time to account for, entire interviews to fucking plan for people because of a lack of forethought.

That annoys me, the person doesn’t. It’s important to reconcile with the idea that you like someone, but they have qualities about themselves that you would change. I’d definitely change this one’s punctuality. I’d also do it to myself, because nobody’s perfect.

But if you put me in charge of waking you up, I’m doing it my way. Hello floor of whoopie cushions and wall of Rube Goldberg-rigged airhorns.

Today’s going to be a good day, whether everyone else likes it or not. 

#writing #struggling #poor #broke #paycheck to paycheck #friends of friends #girlfriends #buffalo wings #should i eat them? #what the fuck is my life right now #tired of it all #just want to write #blog post #blog #hate myself

[stawesume]

Life Update: New Reincarnation of the Goddess

Yes, that is an SMT reference.  Anyways, hiya, it’s been years since I last posted anything on here. January 2019, to be exact. I won’t really go over what happened in 2019 or 2020 in my life, but I will say that I have never been sadder than I was in 2019, and 2020 allowed me to actually be happy. 2021 was a turning point in my life, specifically thanks to the video game Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate. In December 2020 I got actually reliable internet, and so I bought a year of Nintendo Switch Online service with Christmas money (since I was still a slug back then). Since I have solo’d most Monster Hunter games, when I hopped online I was carrying people left and right. Helping people clear Elder Dragons, raising Newbies from HR1 to G Rank. All the people I helped, and all the friends I made in that game, gave me the courage to change my life. My home life at the time (and even currently) is one I’m trying to escape, but in May 2021 I was just so fucking sick of my life that I jumped headfirst into my own personal hell. Being afraid of people, I knew I needed a job that would force me to leave my comfort zone, so I applied for the graveyard shift at a local gas station. I went to my first ever interview, and got the job on the spot. I doubt it was from my resume, lmao. The most likely answer is that the employee crisis was just so bad that they needed any help they could get. I remember a question my boss asked me at that interview. “If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?” The past me would have used words like “garbage, trash, useless”, but in that moment I surpassed my old self by completely bullshitting. “Efficient” was the word I picked. I already knew from the previous work I used to do (intense manual labor) that I was a pretty good worker, so I guess it wasn’t exactly bullshitting, but I also wanted to become someone efficient.  I became too efficient, lol. When I started, everyone else started becoming lazy, that’s how hard working I am. I’ve been at this job for 1 year and almost 5 months, and it’s still like that. There are days when I deal with hundreds of people alone, and sometimes I’m still a little mindblown by that. Even 3 years ago I couldn’t communicate with hardly anyone, but now it’s like I’m back to normal. I guess I finally just grew up? Overcame my trauma? Or I hate my home life so much that it’s anger that fuels my hard work. Some days I want to quit, but the fact that strangers treat me better than my own family is what drives me to keep working. I need to get out of here, and I will someday, I hope. I get along with the majority of my coworkers, customers call me their favorite (which is fucking nuts, haha), customers try to poach me from my job, customers actually acknowledge how hard I work, unlike my bosses, and most importantly: The fear of people I had changed into an understanding. We’re all just tired, striving to live in an ever increasingly fucked up world. As for the me that used to watch anime and play video games all the time, he’s still here. I play more video games than ever before, because it’s basically all I buy aside from groceries, lmao. I’m watching 5 anime this season, and they’ve all been great weekly. I started buying more light novels, and the series I’ve been reading lately “The Angel Next Door Spoils Me Rotten” actually made me start cooking real meals for myself. Thanks weeby self, eat better. >:) That about does it for this EXTREMELY LONG life update. I’ll see you on the flipside, or possibly in 3 more years, wwwww. P.S. Still afraid of making phone calls even though I answer the phone at work all the time. There are still parts of myself I need to overcome, unfortunately. :(

#life #update #NO #LONGER #A #SHUT-IN #EDITION #YEET

[l-gbtqstorie-s]

This is my interview with Ellie! She is 22, uses she/her pronouns, and is from England:

How do you identify? (Gay, Bi, Trans, Nonbinary Etc.) 

Bisexual cis woman

How has your community reacted to your identity?

Well! My parents are extremely supportive as well as my sisters. I only have a few friends and they’ve all been supportive too. I have felt that I’m “not gay enough” for some people though. 

How have you struggled with mental health in the past?

I struggle with anxiety and depression. I find doing basic things very difficult and struggle to interact in any type of social situation. I was bullied in college and that sent me into a downward spiral and I wanted to avoid class as much as possible. 

Have you ever been outed to someone when you weren’t ready to share that information? How did this affect you?

Unfortunately, I was outed to my family. They’re supportive so it wasn’t a terrible thing to happen, but I wanted to tell them myself. I’ve had to grieve that experience, to know that I’ll never get to be the first person to tell them and see their reaction and get a hug from them or see them tear up. I was out of the house when they were told so I don’t even know what they said. And the person who outed me didn’t mean any harm, so I don’t even have one place to put all my negative emotions/blame. I feel that the moment of ‘coming out’ was taken away from me and it was very unfair. 

How did coming out to people affect your mental health?

It made me feel a bit lighter - I always knew my family would be supportive because I’ve grown up around LGBTQ+ people, but it was still good to know they didn’t see me differently. I came out after school finished so I didn’t have to see people judging me everyday in class, which I’m sure they would have, so I think I avoided a lot of the negativity. If I had seen it, I’m sure I would’ve gone into a depressive episode and avoided the situation at all costs. 

As I mentioned before, I’ve sometimes felt “not gay enough”. I’m bisexual so still feel attraction towards men, and I’ve had a few of my queer and straight friends say that because I was in a relationship with a man meant I wasn’t bisexual. It’s very invalidating and really messed with my head and made me doubt my relationships and sexuality, which in turn might’ve been the downfall for my previous relationship because I wanted to present myself as ‘more queer’, and having a boyfriend didn’t fit the ‘look’ everyone assumes you have. 

Growing up, did you have any positive LGBTQ role models? Who were they? Did these people/this person make it easier for you to come to terms with your identity?

My mums best friend is gay! So for me the subject was never avoided and in turn I never felt that it was negative. I think it subconsciously made me much more accepting of myself - I’ve never known any different, and never had a negative upbringing to the LGBTQ+ community, and to be honest I don’t want to imagine what it would’ve been like if things were different. I still struggle with it in some ways to this day, with the amazing support and examples, so I couldn’t imagine the extra struggle it would’ve been. 

Is there anything else you would like to add/ do you have any advice for people in the same boat as you?

For anyone who is questioning or confused: you are valid. You are important. Don’t be afraid to explore- just because you identify as one thing now doesn’t mean it can’t change as your grow and understand yourself. Don’t limit yourself - be yourself. Be your true, authentic self and love yourself for it. Being LGBTQ+ is a beautiful blessing and I hope you see it or will soon. Keep your head up!

[kaeyasaki]

📹 — :; “face-to-face” GQ interview

-> inspired by the “face-to-face, A$AP rocky answers 18 from rihanna | GQ interview”, except i make the questions a little more personal because i don’t think anyone cares what gojo’s ‘fav curse word is’

-> ft :; gojo satoru

-> interview writing layout heavily inspired by @rintaroll

y/n: hey GQ! i’m here to do face-to-face with my co worker, gojo!

gojo: coworker? is that all i am to you?

y/n: be grateful i even acknowledged you.

gojo: you wound me.

y/n: yet you’re still smiling.

gojo flashes a playful frown to the camera as y/n roll their eyes before pulling out a stack on cards.

y/n: so first question, what’s the hardest part about working with me?

gojo: everything.

y/n: i’m serious.

gojo: and so am i, you make it hard for me to work with you because we never get anything done.

y/n: don’t make it sound like it’s my fault! we never get anything done because you get too distracted and drag me into it!

gojo: maybe you should discipline me more...

he teases and sends you a wink to which you dismiss quickly.

y/n: you’re a grown man, you shouldn’t need me to discipline you.

gojo: what if i want you to?

y/n: would you just answer the question seriously or i’ll really start to think you don’t think we work well together!

gojo: okay, i was kidding... you’re actually a pretty good teammate when we’re sent on missions together, i have fun with you... maybe a little too much fun...

y/n: don’t give them the wrong idea we’re nothing like that!

you cringe at him as he laughs before the camera cuts moving onto the next question

y/n: okay, second question, answer seriously from now on, got it?

gojo: anything for you~

y/n: you disgust me... anyway, how well would you say you take care of yourself?

gojo: you mean like... self care wise?

y/n: yeah, like self care!

gojo: hmm well, i’d say i take care of myself pretty well, after all, pampered men are attractive men right?

y/n: i mean sure, i think it’s attractive when a man takes care of himself but if that mans you... maybe not so much.

gojo: you don’t mean that! you must be somewhat attracted to me.

y/n: can’t say i am no.

gojo: lying is a sin you know.

y/n: you’re totally straying away from my initial question.

you groan and face the camera and gojo tilts his head and laughs.

gojo: sorry, well, i’d say i clearly look after myself very well which should be to your liking.

y/n: you’ll never be to my liking, but it’s nice to hear you take care of yourself well and that you’re not just an annoying man, but rather an annoying but hygienic man.

gojo: you’re so horrible to m-

the camera cuts as you start laughing and gojo starts whining.

y/n: we’re getting through these quickly now let’s keep it that way.

gojo: you know, we’d be half done by now if you stopped insulting me every chance you get.

y/n: i’m the quizzer, you’re the answerer, you answer when spoken to.

gojo turns to face the grinning camera crew behind the cameras on set.

gojo: now do you see what i have to put up with! i’m a victim i’m telling you!

camera man: no no, keep it up, you guys have nice chemistry

y/n: chemistry? not to be rude but you must’ve failed science, the only clear dialogue between us is practically conversation between an adult and child.

the camera crew laugh and gojo feigns offence before you clear your throat and look at the next card.

y/n: anyways, when was the first time you were majorly recognised as ‘famous’?

gojo: ah, a long time ago i need to think, give me a sec.

you pretend to yawn as gojo thinks about his answer before smiling at you.

gojo: my second year i think. that’s when i really started getting noticed for my talent.

y/n: practically a star since birth i see, how do you do it?

gojo laughs at your sarcasm as you grin back, evenly matched banter between the two of you flowing on set.

gojo: i’m handsome and gifted, i was made for this kinda life, it all comes naturally to me.

y/n: you know what doesn’t come naturally to you though?

gojo: hm?

y/n: that dress sense.

gojo: what’s wrong with my outfit?

y/n: bland, basic, and the way you chose itadori’s uniform was just straight up ugly!

gojo: he liked it!

y/n: the poor boy probably didn’t have the heart to express his disgust to your face.

gojo: well, until he does i’m gonna believe he likes it and my dress sense is more than up to standard.

y/n: if that’s what helps you sleep at night i guess...

the camera cuts with the two of you playfully bickering with each other, any previous speculation of hostility now gone as it’s clear for watchers to see just how your dynamic together works.

y/n: question four! what’s the first thing you notice in a person?

gojo: in general or when analysing to an extent?

y/n: in generals fine.

gojo: hm i would say looks, but i don’t wanna look too shallow on camera.

y/n: they would’ve just recorded you saying that. don’t be shocked if you’re trending on twitter later for it.

gojo: it’s fine, as long as i’m trending who cares what it’s about.

y/n: i can see the headlines already... ‘gojo satoru, top sorcerer, favoured teacher at jujutsu high and big narcissist’

you smile smugly at the man as he laughs along with you with the camera crew from behind.

gojo: yeah yeah whatever you say, but if i had to answer honestly, i’d say what energy they give off. i don’t let it bother me too much, but i’d say i’m pretty good at judging what someone’s like based off of what energy they’re giving out.

y/n: i’m shocked, that’s a pretty good answer... for you anyway.

gojo: i try my best for you.

y/n: mhm sure, keep that attitude next time we’re working together and maybe we’ll finish jobs quicker.

gojo snickers and smiles gently at you, his direction is no longer faced towards the camera, but rather solely directed at you as you clear your throat.

y/n: yeah anyway, good answer. that might just get you uncancelled.

gojo: i haven’t even been cancelled yet don’t speak it into existence!

y/n: i’ll ‘try my best for you’

you’re both smiling softly at each other after you mock one of gojo’s previous replies, there’s no speech cut off as a comfortable silence rests for a moment as the scene cuts.

y/n: okay, i want genuine answers only.

gojo: that’s what i’ve been giving you from the start!

you jokingly narrow your eyes at him before looking down at the next card.

y/n: well okay then, so, what was the first thing you noticed about me when we first met?

gojo: unusually bold question from you.

y/n: just shut up and answer, i was recommended to ask this.

gojo: sure, sure.

y/n: would you please just answer so we can get this over with?

gojo sighs dramatically and sits up properly and nods.

gojo: naturally, for anyone else i would say energy but for you, ah, i think it was your pretty face.

y/n: shut up, i said genuine answers only.

gojo: i am being genuine! aren’t i allowed to call you pretty?

y/n: you aren’t allowed to answer falsely, serious answers please.

gojo: you make me sound like i’m down bad, honestly, you’re very attractive to me, your energy was just a bonus, i’m serious, stop doubting yourself so much.

he smiles your way, not playfully nor forced, it’s a soft and genuine smile to calm your nerves, it’s a sign of truthfulness on his end. before you answer he clears his throat, slight hurry in his voice.

gojo: -of course, we were younger back then, since then you’ve gotten wrinkles and is that a few grey hairs i see? you also slouch-

y/n: -okay okay you can stop!

the two of you laugh as you gently kick his chair, the fact you’re being recorded and being watched by a whole camera crew totally forgotten about.

y/n: okay, last question finally!

gojo: admit you had fun with me.

y/n: i see you everyday, today was nothing special.

gojo: you wouldn’t say we’ve bonded more over this interview?

y/n: you’re still as irritating as before this interview so no.

you grin and gojo scoffs before shuffling in his chair a little before a sly smile draws across his face.

gojo: go on then, last question.

y/n: would you sl-

gojo: go on, ask it, we’re waiting.

gojo is leaning on the palm of his hand, teasing smile playing on his lips and y/n stares at the card in disbelief.

y/n: you definitely wrote this! i would never ask this! there’s been a mistake with the cards or something

camera man: ah no, they’re all the questions that were on your form you sent in prior to the interview, these are the questions you apparently wanted to be asked. sorry, you’ll have to make do.

y/n: i’m not asking that.

gojo: come on now, don’t upset your supportive fans.

y/n: i know you wrote this, you’re so infuriating!

you glare at him but not with complete hostility, the situation slightly humorous to you despite your protests.

gojo: i mean well.

gojo shrugs as you sigh and stare at the card before speaking.

y/n: fine then have it your way. would you... would you sleep with me?

gojo: how brave! asking me on camera in the middle of an interview! how could i dare say no!

gojo is laughing along with the camera crew as you fight back a smile, refusing to admit his interference was entertaining.

y/n: at least take me out for dinner first.

gojo: now you’re asking me to take you out? you’re really bold today aren’t you!

y/n: oh shut up! i didn’t mean it like that! this is totally your fault it’s awkward now.

you’re grinning at this point not caring that your flirtatious banter with gojo is being recorded and is soon to be edited and posted for the world to see.

gojo: i mean, i’m free tomorrow if that’s good with you?

y/n: what? no, i- this wasn’t even a serious question shut up!

gojo: i’ll shut up if you let me take you out... and maybe then i’ll sleep with you after if that’s your request.

y/n: i can’t stand you!

gojo: but you do everyday, that must count for something right?

y/n: i hate you.

gojo: quite the contrary, i’m sure i’ll get you to admit that by tomorrow though.

y/n: ...i’ll be waiting on it then.

the two of you are smiling at each other, laughter dying down as you once again softly kick gojo’s chair. he pays no mind to it as a moment of fondness occurs, viewers clearly able to see the evident bond between the two of you.

y/n: okay well... that concludes our face-to-face, GQ interview, thanks for watching and putting up with him!

gojo: maybe we’ll come back to do an interview about our date after i take you out, who knows, maybe i’ll get to ask you to rate me in bed!

y/n: gross. you sound like a fifteen year old boy.

gojo: am i at least a hot one?

y/n: i refuse to catch a case.

gojo cackles as you laugh too, the camera fades out with the scene of the two of you softly smiling at each other as the interview concludes.

#i haven’t beta read this sorry </3 #but go watch the rihanna x asap one they’re so cute pls :( <3 #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x reader #jjk gojo #gojou satoru #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x you

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

#omg #I don't even know if this makes sense #this took way too long to write #j2 #cockles #long post #spn family #so glad you see you back again my dear #welcome to hell #it's hotter now

[volturiwolf]

Stuck With You - A Demetri Volturi x fem!Reader Imagine (A Sequel to 'It’s All Greek To Me')

A/N: After @raindancer2004's request/proposal, this is the sequel of 'It’s All Greek To Me'

A/N 2: This is quite a self-indulgent/personal story

A/N 3: The story starts during the Autumn of 2020, two months after 'It’s All Greek To Me'

A/N 4: (Y/N/N) = your nickname

No. of Words: 8900+

Mentions of: Self-pity, Self-doubt, Self-hatred, Depression, Greek, Italian, Swearing, C*vid-19 related themes, Claustrophobia, Agoraphobia, Nosophobia, Attempted kidnapping/assault, Police brutality, quotes from 'Grande Amore' by Il Volo

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Volturi-related Tag List: @eunoia-kth @raindancer2004 @aquanova99 @xxx-wounded-angel-xxx

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/N)’s POV

It was the middle of October, and the weather was still pretty pleasant around, not too hot, not too cold - a classic October in Thessaloniki’s metropolitan area. It was early evening, around twilight hour, and I was sitting on a bench in Nea Krini’s park, looking at the majestic sea in front of me. The sea had always managed to calm me down and clear up my mind; despite my near-death experience a couple of months ago, I could never be truly terrified of the sea. It was one of the few times during the week where I could go out for a walk, calm my nerves, and relax.

I missed my summer vacation. Going back home, in the city, was really depressing. Was it the constant grey and moodiness? Was it the fact that I was coming back to my boring life? Was it the fact that I had to say goodbye to Demetri, and let him go back home? I guess it was a mix of all of them. The fact that we were in the middle of a pandemic, and I had to stay home most of the time, writing my dissertation was magnifying my sadness. My birthday was a few days away, and all I could wish was for Demetri to come and see me, as he had promised me through our Skype calls.

I did feel a bit ungrateful; Demetri was always trying to make sure he texted me as much as he could, which was almost every single day. If he was away on a mission, or busy with “vampire stuff”, as he said, and couldn’t text, he always made sure to inform me beforehand, so I wouldn’t have to “waste my time waiting for him”, and we’d video chat after he came back and was available. But, just talking to him from behind a phone or computer screen made me miss and crave his presence more.

I came close to taking a plane and flying to Italy too many times to count. I had saved a little money throughout my college days - mostly what my parents gave me as pocket money, as going out was never my thing anyway. Flights were slowly getting cheaper around this time of the year anyway, and I was too eager to go find Demetri, so much so that I was on the verge of leaving everything behind me. I didn’t care about the dissertation; I couldn’t find a job here anyway; I felt like a burden to my family already. I could care less about myself; I had never cared about anyone in my life, but my family, friends, and now Demetri.

I never was “full of life”, but lately, existing was getting harder and harder. I was basically “forced” to sit down, write my dissertation, communicate with my advisors as soon as I could, take interviews and write questionnaires for my primary data, and I didn’t want to do any of that. I had two more months to deliver the paper, and between half a month to a month after that for the presentation.

Time was choking me slowly, and I couldn’t do anything, but be patient and take deep breaths. I promised myself I would write as much as I could, but take small breaks in between. When I was done for the day, I would just lay on my bed, listening to sad songs, and crying before drifting to sleep.

That had been going on ever since I came back from Crete. My parents knew something was going on with me, but I dismissed their worries, telling them it was just me being tired of researching, writing, and trying to communicate with my advisor who clearly hadn’t been reading my emails, no matter how many I was sending him. I was stuck; I had nowhere to go; I was on my own.

Ever since I started my Masters, I had been fending away from my friends; me having late afternoon classes and them having morning classes - still in their Bachelor’s - meant that our schedules were completely different from each other, and we were never able to meet up with each other unless it was the weekend. And then again, my professors were encouraging my new classmates and me to connect more and work together, so that meant that not every weekend could be spent with my friends.

And then the pandemic came, and I got stuck at home with my parents and sister, in the hometown I never moved out from, while my friends went back to their hometowns, and basically had to leave me behind. Cafés, restaurants, and bars were surprisingly still open, despite the increasing number of virus cases.

The whole county of Thessaloniki barely had a bit over 1 million people, and yet, as we were walking through the autumn, the number was getting increasingly alarming, and my nosophobia - my fear of getting sick, and germaphobia were keeping me behind. But I also used my logic; I knew better than going out and going crazy, especially since I knew I belonged in a risk group.

I just missed Demetri so much. The few days we spent together in Crete were the best I had ever had, even if they didn’t last long enough for me. Teaching Demetri to swear in Greek was the best experience of my life; it was funny to see him so engaged and genuinely interested in this. The fact that he already knew some of the pronunciations also helped a lot. I just missed him too much.

I didn’t realize I was crying, until I felt the tears rolling down my neck, making me shiver slightly. I would give everything for Demetri to be here with me right now. He couldn’t be here for my name day a month ago, but I was hoping, by some sort of a miracle, that he would be there for my birthday at least.

I looked down at my phone. 21:33. I had to walk for about an hour and a half to go back home, so I decided it was time to leave. There were worse people than vampires lingering out in the dark, and I didn’t want to have to deal with any of them.

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Demetri’s POV

There was an obvious nervousness in the air, as I was walking around the castle aimlessly. I had the day off but I didn’t wish to communicate with (Y/N) today. It wasn’t that I didn’t love her anymore, or that I was trying to avoid her on purpose. I just preferred to spend some time by myself for now, which was why I lied to her, telling her I would be away on a mission. I needed some time just by myself to think about my future with my mate.

The distance between us was painful for me; no online communication could compare to having her in my arms. Even though we would communicate with each other as much as we could, I still selflessly needed her to be beside me, to hold her in my arms while she slept, to take her out for long walks under the starry Volterra night. I needed her to come here and live with me forever. I knew I was being selfish because she had to be with her family; she had to live a happy human life. And yet, I couldn’t help but wish there was a way she could come here with me.

Last month was her name day - something I didn’t even remember Greeks had, but, apparently, it used to be way more important than birthdays, before Greece was “westernized”. It was her name day, and I couldn’t be there for her, because I actually had to go on a mission across the Atlantic at that time.

It pained me when I listened to the pain in her broken voice a few days before that, when I told her that I could neither be there for her nor could we video chat with each other. I never wanted to make her feel sad or neglected. She was the most important person in my life right now; nobody and nothing mattered to me more than she did.

I was on the edge ever since I had to leave her a couple of months, and I was so close to leaving the Volturi just to be with her. If I couldn’t have her here, I would abandon the seemingly miserable life I was living here for a promise of an exciting and fulfilling life with her. My mate. My little, precious human. Tin agapi mou (My love). Il mio unico grande amore (My one great love).

I owed it to her to give her the best life experiences she could have until it was finally time to be turned. Her birthday was approaching quickly, and I could only think of one special thing I could give to her. One thing that would make both of us happy. I smiled lightly to myself, before running towards my private chamber.

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(Y/N)’s POV

My birthday had finally come. As they usually did, my parents and sister would wait until the clock struck midnight to wish me ‘happy birthday’ first. I loved them and appreciated their commitment to do this every single year, but nothing could lift up my mood today. I liked spending time with my family - when they were not shouting or annoying me, but today was a Monday, and both my parents were working, so we couldn’t do anything as a family for my birthday. Even if we could, it wasn’t like I would be beaming with happiness.

All I wanted, all I needed was Demetri, and he wasn’t here to hold me in his arms. He had, of course, texted me to wish me a ‘happy birthday’ the moment the clock struck midnight, which was sooner than my parents and sister did, beating them to that for the first time. Technically, he still had an hour left until it was officially my birthday in Italy, but I guess he wanted to still be closer to my reality than his own. However, all I got was a text. Demetri told me he was away on a mission, and we couldn’t video chat, so I concluded that him coming to visit me was out of the question.

My sister would tell me ‘happy birthday’ once again in the morning, but she was busy with her uni classes, as I was supposed to be with my dissertation, so going out with me was impossible for her. That weirded me out; my sister was the kind of person to always go out, while still taking her classes and grades seriously - she was definitely more passionate than I was in every aspect. Ever since they lifted the lockdown back in May, she would always go out, mostly on walks by herself, as most of her friends were also back in their hometowns.

So, I was alone for the day. Though I lived close to my grandparents, I couldn’t visit them for obvious reasons, and, if I had to, I would always wear a mask and keep my distance. I decided that my mind was too messy to sit down and work on my thesis, and I could really use a day off, not thinking about anything or anyone; a sort of gift to myself. I decided I needed to take a breath, alone, to rethink my life, which I was doing quite often nowadays, though I wouldn't voice any of my thoughts to anyone else.

I popped by my sister's room to let her know I would go out. "Hey, V, I'm going out."

"Wait!" She turned around to look at me with a look of absolute disbelief. "You? Going out? Are you okay? Do you need to talk about it? Come here." She invited me in for a hug, but I didn't move from my place.

"I'm okay. I'm doing okay. I just want to go out; you know, take a breath. It's been really stressful lately."

"So, you won't take your little sister with you?" She pouted her lips with fake sadness.

"I know you are busy. You told me you're busy. Do you want to come with me? I'll wait for you, but don't be late."

"I'm kidding. I have an online class in like 20 minutes. Go out! Walk! Exercise! Whatever! Just stop being miserable and live a bit!"

"V, I'm just going for a walk, that's all."

"And that's a lot for you. That's what I'm saying. You need to go out more."

"I have to write my thesis, V." I was getting mentally exhausted by her preaching, though I knew she was right.

"You always have enough time to go out. You just overthink everything and waste whatever free time you have."

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know. Anyway, I'll have to go. Where's your cat?"

She pointed at the big pile of clothes that seemed like it was dripping out of her closet. I bent forward a bit to see Oliver napping on her clothes. V's closet was one of his favorite places to nap, and though she tried to get him out of there, she knew that her closet was a mess already, and she couldn't be mad at her furry baby.

"Nice. Anyway, I'm out. If you need anything, call me."

"Snacks! Bring me snacks!" She smiled comically, making me chuckle, as I waved her goodbye.

Once again, I walked towards Kalamaria, which was closer to my house than going downtown was; plus, it was way more beautiful and quiet. I once again walked towards the park of Nea Krini, which had become my favorite spot thus far. It was a quiet neighborhood and not too many people went there; most of them preferred Aretsou and other busy neighborhoods around the city.

I was lucky in a way to live 'in the suburbs' - when my grandpa built the house for the family, this place was surrounded by fields, and there were swamps nearby. But within the last decades, as more and more people came to live here, the area was upgraded and the fields and swamps turned into apartment buildings, businesses, hospitals. However, there still were old neoclassical houses to remind people of the city's old glory.

There was so much beauty around, and, most of the time, I chose to ignore it, for the sake of my own 'myriads' of issues. I didn't take a breath, a good, nice breath; I was choking and drowning myself in my negativity. This time, I tried to forget about all these and focus on myself. I deserved to care about myself more than I actually do; I owed that to myself, and my mental health, which was slowly deteriorating over time.

As I was walking down the streets, I couldn’t help but think if Demetri actually cared about me, or if he was just passing his time. We didn’t do anything intimate or even send nudes to each other - Demetri was understanding and too old-fashioned for that. But, still, the only thing I could ever think about was if what Demetri felt for me was even real. Because I knew that what I felt for him was real, but my insecurities were getting the best out of me, as usual. He told me I was his soulmate; yet, we hadn’t met for two months, and I was wondering if texting and video chatting were all he was ever willing to do.

When I reached the park, I quickly walked towards my favorite spot and sat down, making sure I was nowhere near other people. There was only one person around, who came a minute or two after me, but I couldn’t make out if they were a man or a woman; they were covered under many layers of clothing, and they were holding a big dark grey umbrella. I should have considered bringing an umbrella with me. Though it was a sunny day, it was still October and the weather could easily turn around and start raining.

I took my deep breath in, closing my eyes, and just trying to enjoy the cool breeze that hit my face, while the sun warmed my barely-exposed skin. I took another deep breath in, and then another. I was feeling the ultimate relaxation, my body becoming less stiff, and my mind numbing with no thoughts in particular. I was trying to live in the moment, even if that meant that I had to pause a bit and reconsider my priorities. Of course, I would first have to get done with the dissertation, but I tried to think about it more calmly, with a calm and organized mind. I kept telling myself that it wasn’t the end of the world, and if I did try to relax just a bit, I would only benefit myself and get done with everything sooner.

Suddenly, I felt a cold hand covering my eyes. I went to scream, but another one covered my mouth, so I was barely heard under my muffled screams. I tried to remove the hands off my face, but they felt like they were locked on me. I tried to fight off the perpetrator but I only hurt myself as they seemed to be extremely strong and felt nothing out of my struggles.

I felt the stranger breathing in my ear, his breath cold, making me shiver. “Fiore (flower), is this your way to welcome me to your hometown?” Wait! It can’t be!

The stranger removed his hands off me and I slowly turned my face around to look at him. He was smiling brightly under his cover; a smile that melted my heart.

“Demetri!” I practically screamed, falling into his arms and hugging him tightly. If he was human, he wouldn’t be able to breathe by now, but the beautiful man standing in front of me right now did not really need to breathe. I took a deep inhale of the scent that I missed so much these past couple of months.

“Agapi mou, mou eleipses. (My love, I missed you.) Happy Birthday, love. ” Demetri was running one hand through my hair, while the other rubbed against my back. His head was buried at the crook of my neck, breathing in my scent.

“I missed you, too, Dem. So, so much. Thank you for coming” I almost let a sob out, in a mix of desperation for Demetri’s absence and relief that he was finally here with me.

“I am so happy to finally be here with you, my love. I may have lived through hundreds of years, but every second away from you felt like millennia.” Dem was leaving small kisses on my neck, making my whole existence thrill.

Though we had been about two months away from each other, all the feelings I had towards him did not seem to have faded. On the contrary, I felt closer to him, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, as if nothing else mattered about our life or our past. It felt as if we’d been sharing a common life from the very beginning; as if my life before meeting him was an endless, black void, and now I could have a bright future with Dem by my side.

“Demetrakiiii?” I broke the comfortable silence, speaking in a cute, child-like voice.

Dem smirked, something between a cheeky and a sweet smile. “What is it, (Y/N/N)?”

“Have you been insulting Felix as I taught you?” I grinned, trying to imitate Bill Skarsgard’s “Pennywise” smile, and failing miserably.

“Only you, love, could ruin such a perfectly romantic moment like that.” Dem laughed along, bringing a genuine smile to my face, before leaning in and finally making up for all the kisses we missed the past few months.

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“Hronia polla, Demetri! Happy Namesday!” I screamed the moment Demetri opened his door, jumping up and down, excited for him experiencing his name day here with me.

“Hey, baby!” Dem gently grabbed my shoulders with both of his hands, trying to stop my outburst, as he slowly led me into his rental apartment. “What’s got you so excited?”

“It’s Saint Demetrios’ Day today! Agiou Demetriou, you know? It’s your name day!” I couldn’t hide my excitement, but Dem kept looking at me confused, not sharing my enthusiasm.

“Okay? I think I’m too old, or young for this? Can you elaborate on that?”

“Okay, so, you are younger, but I thought you knew about it. So, you know how most Greeks are named after a saint of the Orthodox Church?” Dem nodded understandingly for me to continue. “So, every saint has their own day of worship, of celebration, and the person named after that saint has their name day. Like mine was last month? Today, it’s the 26th of October, meaning that it’s Saint Demetrio’s day, meaning that is your name day, my mom’s name day, and Thessaloniki’s day.”

“Wait, I got it about me and your mom, but why Thessaloniki?” The blonde vampire seemed too clueless for the centuries that he had lived through.

“Well, to make it easier for you to understand, for example, from what I read about Volterra, they celebrate Saint Marcus and the whole town celebrates, correct?”

“Yeah. I’m really happy that you read about Volterra, amore. Are you preparing yourself for moving in with me?” Dem smiled cheekily, the mention of Volterra bringing hope to the blondie.

“Well, you never know.. But, let’s get back to what I was saying. So, just like humans celebrate Saint Marcus in Volterra, in Thessaloniki we celebrate Saint Demetrio. He is the patron saint of Thessaloniki; the saint that protected the city when it was under Bulgarian siege. There are many legends about Saint Demetrio, but, the most important thing is that today is your name-day! And I’m so happy you’re here with me!” I finally hugged Demetri as tightly as I could with my human strength.

“I’m not sure if I can share your excitement yet, love, but I do know that I’m also happy to be here with you.” Dem leaned down a bit, and pressed a sweet kiss on my head, his arms holding me securely against him. “Pupa (Babe)? I don’t want to ruin what is happening now, but have you talked to your parents about me yet?”

I knew this would come up soon. I sighed, moving out of Demetri’s embrace to look him in the eyes. “I will be honest with you. I haven’t told either of them about you yet. Honestly, I am trying to take as much time as I need, before telling them. You know, introducing them to my boyfriend may seem a lot for them; even for my sister. Imagine if they knew that you’re a vampire and we’re soulmates. They would freak out even more. So, I just need time to let them in slowly, and then I’ll see what I should do. I should also find a way to prepare them for my departure. It must be impossible for them to never see me again. I know it is for me.”

“Your departure to Volterra, you mean?” I nodded at my lover, smiling hopefully at him. “You mean it? You will come back to Volterra with me?”

“You promised you would come here to visit me, and I promised you I would come to live with you permanently. I cannot stay away from you, Demetri. My whole being is intertwined with you. Every second away from you is torture, and I do not wish to stay away from you any longer. I want to spend every moment of my life with you. Every moment of my existence. Every single moment until the Earth collapses and we are nothing more than dust scattered across the universe.”

“Vita mia, zoi mou (my life), respiro dei giorni miei d’amore (breath of my love days), that was pretty dark for a human to think like that, but I know what you mean. I feel the same. I want to spend the rest of my existence with you. I spent too much time alone, on my own, and I do not wish to spend a second more away from you. I’ll see all the necessary paperwork for you to move to Italy with me, and as soon as they are ready, we’re leaving from here, okay?”

“Okay, mio anima gemella (my soulmate).” I pecked his soft lips a few times, before grinning at him once again. “But, first, we need to celebrate your name day!”

“Dolcetta (sweety), is it really necessary?” Dem huffed in desperation.

“Yeah, it is! Name days used to be celebrated in Greece instead of birthdays. They were really important, and the birthdays were not. Since we don’t know exactly when your birthday is, we shall be celebrating your name-day! Come on, Dem! We won’t do anything excessive. Besides, we’re still in a pandemic, just a little looser than we were six months ago.” I looked at him with doe eyes, trying to convince the usually stubborn immortal.

“Okay, love, but I’m driving. I don’t want to risk anything!”

“Yes, Sir!” I mocked him a bit, pulling him out of the house quickly, as he showed no resistance. I was set to show him around the city that I loved to hate so much.

----------------------------------------------------------

“You must be joking!” I screamed at the TV, ready to throw the remote at it before Dem’s hand gently stopped me.

“What is it, dolcetta? What’s got you so upset?” Demetri furrowed his eyebrows, clearly worried about my sudden outburst.

“Do you remember a few days ago, on your name day, when we walked around the town and stopped close to Saint Demetrio’s church?”

“Yes, love. It was beautiful. I’m a bit disappointed that we didn’t get closer though. I really wanted to see the interior, but I was worried about you. All these people, so close to each other. I know how scared you are of diseases and tight spaces, and I didn’t want to risk it.” Dem had taken a seat next to me on the couch, hugging me lovingly.

“Yeah, I was worried about that, too. The pandemic has really heightened my anxiety and I cannot deal with it. So, about the crowd that you said? Guess what? They are the reason why we’re going into a lockdown!” I tapped my thighs frustrated.

“What? What do you mean?”

“It was a “super spread” event. There were sick people among the crowd, and most, if not all of those attending the church service that day, got sick. Do you have any idea what that means for the city? Just one person who got sick can transmit the disease to so many more people. That’s it! We’re done! We’re closing down! Again!”

“(Y/N)? Aren’t you exasperating a bit? I’m sure everything is going to be okay.” Dem was so calm, he got on my nerves. At that moment, I didn’t want him to touch me, not because I would hurt him in any way, but because it felt as if I had chains wrapped around me.

“Dem, Demetri, baby, amore. You have no idea what is going on. This stupid thing right there..”, I pointed towards the TV, “..is saying that Thessaloniki is under a lockdown, effective immediately. They will lock us again! That means that we won’t be allowed to leave the country, or the county, or even the municipality. Heck, we’ll not even be allowed to leave our homes! And all that because of these stupid people, who have zero awareness of what is going on in the world! And we’re all going to pay for that! Literally, the authorities said to not attend the service, and if you were to attend, to keep your distance, wear masks and not kiss the fucking graven pictures! Did anyone listen? Clearly not!”

Demetri did not say a single word during my outburst, only looked saddened at my upset state. He knew that it was a human having a very human reaction, and he decided that he would be as understanding as he could be. So, he did the only thing he could do at the moment and slowly slipped his arms around me, hugging me gently, while he lightly patted my back as I burst into tears, desperate and unsure of what would happen next.

----------------------------------------------------------

Things did not look good for any of us right now. As the number of virus cases was increasing abruptly in Thessaloniki, and there was talking of extra measures taken, we were left with no options. Demetri was only visiting me, so he would either have to leave as soon as possible, before he got caught in all the chaos, or stay here until everything was back to normal. As much as I wanted him to stay, I knew that once we were in lockdown, there would be no way of him getting away without getting unnoticed.

As we had all seen previously, the measures taken during the lockdown were strict and insufferable. The time margins were too tight; Demetri would have to go out hunt at night, and that would be challenging, to say the least. Apart from the curfews imposed, when we couldn’t be able to go out at night - unless it was an urgency, supposedly there were cops everywhere around, checking in on people not going out of their houses, chasing others who walked out at night. It was a nightmare, and it felt so repressing and suffocating.

Though I never went out late at night - because of my agoraphobia, it felt as if everyone around was watching you, your every move, waiting for you to slip up and do anything to compromise “public safety”. In reality, even if we were allowed to go out - by sending a message to a governmental number, stating the reason why we needed to get out of the house, we were not safe.

It wasn’t new for Greece, but police brutality seemed to be an everyday thing for our lives now. It wasn’t new for cops to exploit the “power” and “responsibility” they were given by the government, and actually attack civilians for no apparent reason, all in the name of “public safety” and “following the measures”. The news was filled with such brutal images almost every day, and it seemed to be getting worse and worse as time passed.

If I didn’t have Demetri by my side, I would have flipped by now. He somehow managed to find a new Airbnb house for him to stay, until the lockdown was lifted. This one was closer to the forest, up in the mountain, close to Choriatis. At first, I couldn’t live with him, as I was still living with my parents, and leaving would seem sudden and out-of-character for me. I didn’t have a job yet, though I tried for months, so there was no way I could afford to stay anywhere on my own.

I actually had to convince my parents that I would be safe with Demetri, whom they did not know existed in my life until the moment I finally had to tell them. They were anything but thrilled or understanding, but, after hours of talking, arguing, and shouting, they finally somewhat understood that they couldn’t do or say anything to convince me.

Demetri had money of his own - a lot of it, actually. He had promised to take care of me, whether I decided to stay back home or come stay with him. And I used this factor to my advantage, in order to convince my parents that I could make it on my own. They were not fully convinced yet, because they didn’t know a thing about Dem.

However, a meeting with Demetri convinced them that they had nothing to worry about. Demetri managed to easily charm them, which was unusual for my parents. My mom was usually more open in talking to new people, being naturally sociable, but my dad was more like me: socially awkward, introverted, weird at conversations, stubborn, and liked to start debates, which seemed more like arguments than actual conversations.

Demetri even managed to convince my sister, who was more judgemental than both my parents combined. She always had my best interest in mind, and she was trying to support and advise me about not trusting anyone but myself and my family “who care about me”. Though she was younger, she was a bit more experienced in the ‘real world’. While I preferred to stay in my comfort zone and not take risks, she went out and took the chances, even if things did not turn out on the positive side.

The only thing that was left now was for the lockdown-shitshow to be over, so I could finally go live with Demetri in Volterra. My only hope was that it would be over soon but I was realistic and I knew that, most likely, that wouldn’t be the case. Boy, was I right..

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Demetri’s POV

(Y/N)’s patience and sanity seemed to deteriorate day after day. I didn’t blame her. I was a vampire. I had been living for over 1000 years now, but she was young and human. She didn’t have the kind of patience I was trained for through all these centuries.

She wanted to get out of this country as soon as she could; as long as she was still young and could “maintain whatever is left of her youth, because she wouldn’t like to look like an old vampire, like Marcus, for eternity”, as she would say.

I was laughing along with her for her comment on Marcus, whom I showed her pictures of, along with Aro, Caius, Felix, the Twins, and Heidi - basically, the closest people I had in my life, and with whom I spent most of my time. I told her I wouldn’t care if she was 70 years old; for me, she would always be my one true love.

But, she was right. This “lockdown” that was supposed to last for two weeks, until about mid-November, was literally endless. We were at the end of February and the lockdown was still in place. At first, it was two weeks. Then, it was two more weeks. The two weeks became a month.

Back in December, when it was supposed to be Christmas, they were saying that kids would be able to go out for the carols - which (Y/N) informed me it was a “door to door” thing, like when kids go out for “trick or treat” in Halloween, which Greeks, apparently, do not celebrate.

So, apparently, singing carols is supposed to be a thing for kids, and it happens 3 times a year: one day before Christmas, on the 24th of December; one day before New Year’s Day, on the 31st of December; and one day before “Foton”, on the 5th of January.

I didn’t know the last one, so (Y/N) had to explain to me that “Foton”, which translated to “Lights’”, also known as “Theophania”, was the day that ‘Agios Ioannis o Vaftistis’ (Saint John the Baptist) baptized Jesus Christ in the Jordan River.

Apparently, such traditions had always been really important to Greeks, and (Y/N) was quite disappointed it wouldn’t happen this year. She did confess to me that in the last few years they wouldn’t decorate a tree or put decorations around the house, as her mom was the only one excited about getting her and her sister excited for the holidays.

But her mom lost her spirit for the holidays because the whole process did not bring her joy anymore, so she wouldn’t even try after a point. The carols were one thing that reminded (Y/N) it was actually the holidays and there was supposedly happiness around.

So, even though it didn’t really feel like the Christmas holidays and all these, I tried to cheer her up. I surprised her with a Christmas tree and decorations around the house - whatever I could find in shops or online that seemed “Christmas-y” and happy.

I had no idea what the whole thing was supposed to actually look like, but the look of surprise and utter happiness on (Y/N)’s face reassured me that I did manage to do a good job. I insisted on keeping up the Christmas tree until the beginning of February, even though (Y/N) said it should be up until the 6th or 7th of January at most. The tree brought happiness to her face, and I wanted this happiness to last as long as possible; if it was up to me, I would have kept everything well into the spring months.

The worst part of these “lockdowns” was the curfew imposed, which would change regularly, depending on the area and the number of cases. It started from 10 in the night until 5 in the morning, but it would change; it would either be 9 pm to 5 or 6 am, or 10 pm to 5 or 6 am, or even, in some cases, 6 pm to 6 am.

It didn’t make sense - this only led to people gathering in small places, like supermarkets or stores, because the time schedule was too restricted, especially for those working until late in the afternoon, or those working until late at night.

Of course, I wouldn’t let (Y/N) leave the house at all; I couldn’t risk her contracting the virus. I was terrified of her getting sick; I couldn’t bear anything happening to my beautiful girl. I had been alive for long enough to witness some of the world's largest pandemics. Back then, I wouldn't give a second thought to people perishing from the disease, but that was my mate - my one true chance in love - and I would never put her life at such a risk.

I instead proposed to be the one going out to get her whatever she needed, as I wasn’t at risk of getting sick, though I still had to wear a face mask like every human.

I also proposed to drive her parents and sister to work or wherever else they needed to go with the car I had rented when I first arrived here, as (Y/N) usually had to. That way, I exempted her from all these responsibilities and prevented her from going out of the house, while also gaining her family’s trust.

Winter came and went, (Y/N) had already submitted and presented her thesis, and we were now well into the springtime. The weather was becoming sweeter, warmer, and more pleasant, but we were still in lockdown.

(Y/N) would like to go out in the garden and enjoy the warm sun on her skin for hours on end; she said it reminded her she was still alive, and I wouldn’t be the one to take that away from her. Of course, I would remind her that too much sun exposure could be damaging for the skin, but she reminded me that she would soon be undead and, hopefully, her skin would be “a perfect, hard porcelain” like mine was, repairing itself.

The only times I allowed (Y/N) to personally go out, instead of me, was when she had to get her grandparents and parents to get vaccinated, as they needed to be accompanied, in case something happened to them afterward. Nothing happened, but they needed someone to drive them to and from the vaccination center.

And even when the borders opened for tourism in July, which meant that we could finally leave, (Y/N) had to get vaccinated. Thankfully, both she and her sister were done with their vaccinations in mid-July, but I gave her two weeks just to be sure, and to let her enjoy whatever time she had left with her family and the friends she had around, as most of them lived in different cities or countries.

By the beginning of August, all papers were finalized, all responsibilities were completed and we could finally leave and move (Y/N) to Volterra permanently. All this time, I was carefully and patiently preparing her for what she may come across when we arrived in Volterra.

She may have been accustomed to my presence, my red eyes, and my need for blood by now, but she would be surrounded by, at least, 30 more vampires like me, so she had to be careful and cautious around them. I had, of course, instructed the Kings, Felix, the Twins, and Heidi to be patient with her, help her adjust, and make sure she was okay when I wouldn’t be around, but I was still worried for the other vampires, especially the lower guards, which was why I still had to teach (Y/N) everything she would need to know in order to survive as a human there before she was to be turned.

For some time, I almost forgot that Eurovision happened back in May, after 2 years. As much as we wouldn’t openly admit it, Felix, the Twins, Heidi, Chelsea, Santiago, and I were huge fans of the contest ever since it started. It was fun seeing what each country “exported” as musical talent, and it was even more fun to look at all the “crazy” costumes and acts many countries went with. It was also a time to brag about Italy’s superiority in the beauty of the language, the songs, and the overall result.

We were highly disappointed when the Netherlands won back in 2019, although they had a good song. But we were much better, and Alessandro was a literal icon, so it was totally unfair. Thankfully, this was our year. After 31 years, we finally won and the contest would be held in Italy once again. Not to mention that we also won EURO 2020, which I wasn’t as excited about as (Y/N) was - my mate’s a weird human, getting crazy over both Eurovision and football, but I liked her that way. “It’s coming to Rome! It’s coming to Rome!” was the only thing she was shouting.

I reminded myself that I had to brag to the Kings for choosing Måneskin to represent us this year, as I was right all along for them. Of course, it was the Kings, the ones who supported the band financially in order to go to Amsterdam, and the ones who had pledged to financially support the competition in Italy if Måneskin won, but I was the one who introduced the band to the Kings. I had a mind for business and I knew what would work and what wouldn’t.

In exchange, the competition would heavily promote our “Tuscany tours” to its attendees, in an effort to bring more food for us. That could mean thousands of people to feast from, as they were expecting really big numbers of tourists coming next year, just for Eurovision. To seal the deal, we also promised the four young talents that we would turn them in a few years when they were ready to take a small break and be able to control their thirst, and they would continue to promote Italy and Tuscany.

(Y/N) could not believe it when I told her that I had met Måneskin and that it was because of me that Italy won the competition. Thankfully, I had the photos to convince her. Me with every member of the band; me with the whole band; Felix and I with the band; Chelsea, Jane, and Heidi with the band. I had over a thousand pictures on my phone to confirm my story to (Y/N).

After that, she was so excited, I actually had to promise her that she would get to meet whenever they came back to Italy and were available. They had already arranged so many shows around the world, which meant even more exposure for Italy, and, indirectly, us, as well.

August was slowly coming to an end. A few days ago, (Y/N) came back from her two-week vacation with her parents, grandparents, and sister, which I offered to pay as a gift to them. She was glowing, more beautiful than ever. She was calm and seemed more confident about coming with me back to Italy than she had ever been. She told me she spent enough time with her family for them to know that she needed to take this step into her life, and start something new that will do her good.

I was more than happy that, after all this time, she still willingly wanted to follow me back to Volterra, and it felt as if a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Thankfully, there were a few cloudy days that allowed us to fly undisturbed, without having to worry about me getting exposed by the sun.

(Y/N) suggested we could fly commercial to avoid the hassle, and fly more environmentally friendly. I, on the other hand, proposed that commercial flying was the true hassle, and we would waste essential time waiting at the airports, while also risking her getting sick.

I also had to remind her that she would most likely need quite a few of her personal belongings with her in Volterra, and we couldn't transport them there any other way. So, she agreed, in the end, to travel by the private jet I came here with, about 10 months ago. She was shocked at how luxurious and spacious it was, and I bragged about being something quite insignificant, compared to the rest of Volturis' possessions.

The flight went by smoothly, and (Y/N) managed to sleep within a few minutes from our departure until we arrived in Volterra. I couldn't wake her up when we arrived at our private airport, and I also couldn't when we arrived in the palazzo. My mate was a heavy sleeper, and I honestly found that fascinating.

I could only sit in an armchair, right beside the bed, waiting for her to wake up on her own. It was a shock for her when she woke up in a seemingly unknown bed that was dressed in red cotton sheets, with matching pillowcases, and fleece. The fear quickly faded when she saw me and jumped off of the sheets that covered her body and straight into my arms.

I slowly started introducing her around the palazzo, first to the Kings and then to my friends, who I could trust with keeping her safe. Aro was fascinated with her, and I could only imagine what he saw as her potential power. Nevertheless, I would not pressure her into doing anything she didn't want while she was still human, because I knew the Kings would, when she eventually turned.

It took her some time to adjust to her new life around the castle. She took regular walks around the town to get to know the place, taking too many pictures, in my opinion. She told me she always had a thing where she would take as many pictures as possible to show to her family, to make them feel like they were there with her, just by looking at those pictures. This innocent side of her made me love her even more than before - was that even possible?

After a few months, (Y/N) had familiarised herself well enough within the Volturi realm, and I was both pleased and proud of how well she had adjusted. There were, of course, times where she would suddenly get too sad and emotional, especially if she had talked with her family previously. Unfortunately, I had to remind her that once she was turned, she would either have to cut ties with them or only be able to call them on the phone. (Y/N) insisted on the latter, not able to renounce and forget her family altogether.

Besides that, she had adjusted well and was able to hang around the others as well. We had quite some fun time with (Y/N), either watching movies, playing games, discussing current events and pop culture and talking about fashion.

What many vampires around the castle did not know was that Jane, Heidi, and Chelsea had started their unofficial clothing line a few years ago, as an alternative to the outdated guard clothing we were forced to wear. While these clothes looked very serious and dark, they still followed the current trends, while still looking classy and timeless.

They also included skirts for men, and trousers for women, which would have never happened otherwise - Caius, who was responsible for our clothing, was very adamant about keeping the gender stereotypes. Aro, on the other hand, was more open in trying more feminine clothes, which Caius forbade him from ever getting involved with, after the 1980s "fiasco", where Aro, curious about the disco trends of the era, ordered clothes for the whole Guard and the Kings that were "disco-appropriate". Caius almost tore the whole castle down when he saw what Aro deemed as appropriate clothing for all of them.

(Y/N) suggested she could help them however she could, so they also included her in their designs. Thankfully, each piece of clothing was designed on each specific guard's body, as each guard’s body type was completely different from the other. Felix's clothes would always cost the most, in terms of the number and quantities of fabrics used to sew just one piece of clothing together.

Just like the three female vampires taught (Y/N) how to design and sew clothes, she would teach them Greek, like she had taught me when we first met. She would hold a class two times a week for about two hours, whenever all three women were available. But that quickly peaked the interest of more vampires around the castle, as Felix, Alec, and Santiago seemed intrigued with the possibility of learning something new.

(Y/N) would end up holding full Greek classes three times a week for over three hours each, in case any guards had to be out on missions and were forced to miss classes. Felix, Alec, and Santiago showed extreme zeal and antagonized each other in who would be the best in understanding and speaking Greek by the end of each week.

The classes became so popular that even the Kings stopped by once to see what the fuss was all about, but ended up sitting regularly in these classes. It seemed to be a new experience for them - back when they were living in Greece, the language was much, much different than the "modern language" (Y/N) spoke.

I didn't care about regularly bringing up that I was (Y/N)'s best student, but the others shushed me, saying that it didn't count if I slept with the teacher. (Y/N) would laugh at the scenes I would cause, but would continue teaching everyone. She was surprisingly patient with Afton, while we all told her to not bother with. Even the Kings, who were already too involved in these courses, were progressing faster than Afton, despite their busy schedules. But (Y/N) would insist that if anyone wanted to learn, she was honored to help them.

Things got a bit out of control when she started teaching swear words to Felix. The giant doofus must have figured out I was calling him names without him knowing what they meant. So when (Y/N) came to live here, he approached her and asked her to personally teach him whatever she had been teaching me. (Y/N) laughed at his request, but taught him anyway. Now the fottuto scimmione (fucking ape) would follow me all around the castle, cursing me in Greek, like the big dumb he had always been.

Besides that, life was good and interesting, thanks to (Y/N). She brought a breath of fresh air around this place and gave us another reason to have a fun time. Even with her scheduled transformation approaching, she never stopped bringing a note of liveliness around the undead. She was actually pretty excited to experience life from my own perspective as a vampire, though she missed her family already.

I was also pretty excited for her transformation because it meant that I could finally seal the promise I gave her a year and a half ago, when we first met, of being together forever. If somebody told me two years ago that a year later I would be holding my whole world in my arms, I would be laughing. I had already spent so many centuries alone, I had lost faith in finding my mate.

But Moires (fates/’Moirai’) had chosen otherwise when they brought me this angel; my own personal piece of perfection. I had never thought that my Greek origin would ever amount to anything, apart from my name and telling others I was Greek. And yet, it was that part of me that (Y/N) and I first found common ground in. It was that first part that connected us.

I had never been thankfully in my life for anything, as I now was for (Y/N), my beautiful mate. I was determined to spend the rest of my life loving and protecting her. I would never let her go because she had proven herself to be the most precious treasure in my life. And I was so happy to spend the whole eternity stuck with her.

#greek demetri #demetri volturi #demetri volturi imagine #demetri volturi x reader #demetri volturi x fem!reader #volturi #vampires #alec volturi #felix volturi #jane volturi #twilight story #twilight post #twilight renaissance #twilight saga

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Hey! So, to make a long story short - I'm 27 years old, born and raised Catholic. I consider myself an occult-leaning person, or a Christian witch so to say, but my faith is very complicated and I want to ask YOU if it's valid/okay like, at all. Basically, the Catholic "vibe" or imagery or certain parts of theology and beliefs and stuff in the Bible is super close to my heart, and I like to go beyond that - meaning I have some interest in the Gnostic teachings and beliefs. I also dabble within Thelema and other various occult-leaning stuff, and it feels good so I don't think there's a problem. However, I have to say I feel like my relationship with God and religion is a bit difficult, as I don't really "trust" so to say bishops and the clergy, and some parts from the Catholic catechism aren't really up my alley. I like going to Church sometimes but I do not feel it is super important to me. I have to ask you - is my practice, faith, beliefs, and all that shit *still* valid? Sometimes I have doubts, I just made a tumblr (hello there lol) and I've seen many different Catholic witches and like I sympathise and kinda identify with that but I am way more beyond that. Would appreciate any insight!

Hey there! (same-age + Catholic-roots high-five!)

I totally feel you on not being able to fully trust all the clergy of the Catholic Church because let's be real, a lot of them are super corrupt; and there's a lot of stuff in the Catholic Catechism that does harm. I personally identify as Catholic, but not as Roman Catholic to make that sort of distinction in myself — much of my faith life is Catholic, but I don't consider myself under the authority of The Roman Catholic Church.

---

Ultimately, I have zero authority to tell anyone whether their beliefs are "valid" or whatnot — but I do believe that pretty much any faith system that brings nourishment to self & others rather than harm* can be a healthy way of connecting to the Holy, whoever or whatever that may be.

---

I have several friends + know of quite a few people who incorporated elements of both Catholicism and witchcraft / paganism / etc. into their personal faith experience, often with powerful results. But I myself have not delved into the occult world, so I'm not the person to go to to discuss it! Still, you might find some useful stuff in my Christian witches tag — after checking out the posts in there, feel free to return with further questions!

You might also like listening to / reading along to some of the episodes of my podcast where I've interviewed folks with similar experiences to yours, to get their informed perspectives rather than my outsider's perspective:

my conversation with Taylor, a Christian witch (ep 18); they talk a good bit about how there's a lot of overlap in Catholic stuff and witchy stuff

And with another Christian witch, Phoenyx (ep. 7, no transcript for this one yet) (Phoenyx is also on tumblr and has an essay about "what the Bible says" about witchcraft over here!)

Solaris doesn't talk about witchcraft in depth if I remember correctly, but they do incorporate some of that into their Methodist faith (ep 36)

Azura Rose talks about Satanism in ep 46

And there some more witchy stuff discussed in ep 20, in which multiple folks share info about their sacred spaces

Aaaand more witchy stuff in an ep where I talk about a video game that delves into some history of syncretism in 19th century Russia haah (ep 48)

Plus an ep where I talk about how Brigid is a meaningful figure in three different religions (including Catholicism; ep 47)

__

*One huge thing to be careful of when practicing witchy / occult stuff is not to appropriate rituals or beliefs from closed systems if you can't claim them — such as connecting to Lilith if you're not Jewish; or burning sage if you're non-native. Appropriating stuff causes real harm and perpetuates systemic exploitation of marginalized communities, so it fails the simple "do no harm" test of whether a faith system is sound.

I invite any Christian witches, pagans, or similar to chime in with any thoughts (or just so @perfect-mind can see you're out there!)

#christian witches

[yeolmae-s]

a chanbaek analysis from a veteran exo-l (part 2)

CLICK HERE TO READ PART ONE

Writing this was a bit harder in comparison to the first part, because I wanted to organize things into a neat timeline, but I ended up not having enough patience for it lol specially because both of ChanBaek's main archive blogs seem to have deleted their pages documenting each date of EXO's early years. Therefore I apologize in advance if this part is a bit more messy. Also, please don't forget that all of this is my opinion and I don't mean for any of it to be taken as truth!

I kind of want to jump from MAMA era directly into Wolf era, since we don't really have a lot of cover regarding their debut phase besides Chanyeol's overeagerness and Baekhyun's awkwardness towards it, so to sum it up, I felt as if Chanyeol was more confident and consistent on what he thought an idol should act like, while Baekhyun (sweet, innocent Baekhyun who was a trainee for less than a year!) was still unsure on how to act on camera.

On the few early variety shows/interviews EXO appeared on, the members always pointed out how funny Baekhyun was, how good he'd be at variety and at doing imitations, but he never really lived up to all the praise on camera, although off of it, he most likely was as good as his members claimed.

He was a bit stiff on his early days in comparison to what we see today, and that's normal, I guess, since he debuted really quickly, but when you compare him to Chanyeol the contrast is so interesting, because the latter was able to latch on to a persona as soon as the public gave him one, while to me, Baekhyun was still doubtful regarding what to put on display. In the end, deep inside, Baekhyun is a private person, and was even more so when he wasn't confident enough to talk to fans like he does today.

Once again, I’m sorry for not being able to upload the gifs directly into the post, so I’ll just link them like I did on my last one.

This is another one of the moments where Baek appears to tell Chanyeol to just. Hold on for a bit.

There's another one similar to this where Chanyeol does the same thing (try to whisper on Baekhyun's ear) and Baekhyun fake laughs and stares at a fan's camera right after. Then, his expression just goes blank. It's really interesting to watch because you can just see the gears spinning on Chanyeol's brain as he stares at Baekhyun for a second and clearly thinks alright, fanservice time, and leans in to whisper something: it happens so fast you just know it wasn't genuine whispering, just a playful interaction for the fans, and Baekhyun's direct stare to the camera as soon as it happens just confirms this for me. 

1: Chanyeol spots his target.

2: He’s really thinking this through.

3: Baek's in a perfect position for whispering-time, so he leans in and does his thing.

4: Baekhyun laughs.

5: And stares directly at a fan's camera.

6: Immediately regrets his life choices. Chanyeol looks pleased.

It's actually better to watch the whole thing, so I'll leave it here. (starts on 0:28!)

(Random note: on this date EXO perfomed a cover of H.O.T's We Are The Future, and I feel like a lot of new EXO-Ls have not seem it and I adore this performance, so I'll link it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1-z4s3fdgo)

Now let's jump on to Wolf era, shall we?

Wolf era

I can't help but laugh when I think about how wild 2013 was for both EXO and EXO-Ls. They had their first hit song (which was Growl, not Wolf) the fandom grew considerably, shippers where just discovering the cute ISAC moments between "BaekYeol" and "HunHan"... Or at least that's how everyone remembers most of what happened during that year.

Are we forgetting the rumoured ChanBaek fight?

Considering their past interactions on airports, SMTOWN concerts, ISAC and other events, ChanBaek was now widely known to be close to each other. Baekhyun even said Chanyeol was the one who made him open up, and both of them mentioned feeling this "connection" to each other as soon as they met (although jokingly).

After Mama, the fandom was content-less for a considerable period of time, and what most people did was sharing around old performances and repeat overused memes.  I think that in every fandom there is a period where fans establish their main inside jokes and basically just get together to create a collective line of thought for perceiving their idols. That being said, one of the most well established facts in the fandom was that Chanyeol and Baekhyun were close. That was a fact.But then Wolf came, and they suddenly were not. 

This gif is a good example of how awkward their interactions were. Not even my delusional shipping brain in 2013 was able to come up with an explanation for it.

They simply did not acknowledge each other at all, and Chanyeol appeared to be closer to Kyungsoo (I think Baekhyun interacted a lot with Tao, but that may have been during the Growl era, not Wolf. As I said before, I'm a Chanyeol stan guys, sorry lmao).

Point is, these two boys who seemed to be best friends suddenly were clearly distant from one another.

What added fuel to the fire of the rumours was their appearance on Sukira, a radio show, where Sehun cried because the members sometimes had fights. Here's a fanacc:

[130530] EXO at Sukira

Sehun cried because the members sometimes fight.

Sehun: "Let's be loyal to each other, don't fight, and go until the end"

D.O: "We've been under a lot of stress lately because of the comeback, so I wish we won't fight in the future and do our best"

Here's a video cut of this part of their interview. 

I think this ask on lets-talk-baekyeol, a popular ChanBaek analysis blog from back in the day, shows how curious a lot of fans were.

What happened back then?

There's really no answer for that. On my opinion, not even Chanyeol or Baekhyun could give us a concrete answer on it, because I don't think an actual fight happened. For me, it was most likely a personality clash, a disagreement that probably wasn't even voiced out loud, just both of them noticing how uncomfortable things got, if Baekhyun's reactions to Chanyeol's fanservice is any indication. I somehow doubt there was a specific episode that created this distance between them, specially because during Growl, they went back to being friends, although not as touchy on camera as before, as if one of them had established their limits (oh, I wonder who!), but I still have this feeling that all of this was unspoken, because unspoken things seem to be a pattern on ChanBaek's relationship (something I'll touch on later, hopefully).

But it was during Growl era that I noticed something else about Baekhyun.

Wolf era

EXO'S Showtime was a such a gift. I recommend reading lets-talk-baekyeol's blog for this. I don't really agree with everything they say they do present a lot of relevant points. I may repeat them here, since I noticed them myself as well, but credits for them nonetheless.

I remember finding the lack of ChanBaek interactions during the episodes really dissappointing, but considering the Wolf Era drought, this was better than nothing.

My 13 year old self was devastated when Baekhyun appeared so quiet during Chanyeol's birthday episode, and during a recent rewatch of it, I think realized why.

Baekhyun doesn't like superficial things. It's not that Chanyeol is insincere, but he's just better than Baekhyun is at handling people pleasing, even when he doesn't really mean what's he saying/doing. The Chanyeol birthday episode was heavily centered on Chanyeol's random admiration for Kai, which I think we can all agree that it was a little bit scripted or a really spur of the moment thing that they just ran along with and oh man. Baekhyun did not want to be part of it.

During ChanKai's hug, this is what he looked like on the background, and the poor boy even refused to eat cake. He's just in the back, which is weird, because he's such a talkative person and Chanyeol is one of his closest friends. The only moment where he seems to be genuinely comfortable is when Chanyeol blows the candle and it's really cute. To me, it seems that he was kind of embarrassed to witness so much acting from everyone else and was unable to participate because he struggles with things like this, but the moment Chanyeol blows his candles to comemorate his birthday seems sincere enough for him to fondly smile.

This ties in so well with everything from Mama Era. He's just unable to keep acting/people pleasing on the same easy way that Chanyeol does, but this time he's not as nervous about it as he was on his earlier-early days, where he probably felt pressured to actually do stuff. Now he just doesn't do **it, he just doesn't do something that he dislikes doing, and that sadly creates a distance between them on camera and probably on a deeper level in their relationship as well, because both are just realizing how different their perceptions over their jobs is.

There's also this moment that the mods on lets-talk-baekyeol pointed out.

On the Christmas episode, when the members leave the couch to go get their presents, Chanyeol stays seated while Baekhyun gets up to fetch his. This is the sitting arrangement before (almost) everyone got up:

But when Baekhyun comes back, there's free space next to Chanyeol, however he's hesitant to sit by his side. He actually hesitates and doesn't sit down. Jongdae even gives him a little push right after.

Baek just seems hesitant to do things on camera, to interact with Chanyeol in front of an audience. For this moment, I feel like he's afraid to sit next to Chanyeol and end up having to over act. It's not that Chanyeol himself makes him uncomfortable, but the image of the friendship that they ended up creating for fans demands a lot from him.

And when I say hesitant to do things on camera, I really do mean it, because when Baekhyun thinks he is not being recorded/seen, here's what he does:

Here and here.

Their relationship clearly changed, and I think the reason for it is actually simple: both of them were under the impression that they were compatible with each other when they actually were not. Their personalities are extremely different, even if the way they present themselves is sometimes similar. Wolf and Growl era was our way, as fans, of watching them navigate around each other and finding out how their relationship was supposed to work.

And you know what's nice about that? The members watched all of it unfold. Their reactions to some of ChanBaek's interaction is a gold mine when it comes to analyzing them, because they clearly know, just as we do, that their relationship is kind of complicated. But I want to talk about it on the next part.

I am sorry for cutting this off again! I don't know if the next part is going to be the last, because after Growl there's Overdose and we all know what happened on 2014 [coughs] dating scandal [coughs] god help me I don't want to talk about it [coughs] so there's a lot to uncover and I need time to organize stuff.

Thank you for reading!

#chanbaek #baekyeol #baekhyun #chanyeol #park chanyeol #byun baekhyun #exo #kpop

[interact-if]

The A/PI Heritage Month interviews are coming to a close soon! For Day 8, we have lovely Aster! :chinhands:

Aster, author of Nevermoore

A/PI Heritage Month Featured Author

They say that curiosity killed the cat, but it won’t be satisfaction that’ll be bringing you back. Again. And again. And again.

The simple act of visiting your parents turns into something much more than what you were expecting when your car suddenly breaks down in the middle of nowhere, and you find yourself right beside a small town that’s engulfed by the trees.

Some of the residents you met right away were welcoming enough, happy to try and lend a helping hand when they can. But their smiles seemed more apologetic than happy, and their eyes looked at you with regret.

You never really did understand why that was…

Until you died.

So now, you are an unwilling participant in an endless cycle of death and resurrection. And the more you learn about the bloodstained history of the town and the past of its people, the more you'll get tangled up in a web of secrets that threatens to keep you there forever.

So welcome, newcomer… to Nevermoore.

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: First of all, introduce us to your project! What is it about?

Nevermoore is planned to be is a supernatural story wrapped in a little horror bow about a cursed town that’s both lost to the trees and lost to the ages. Relatively normal lives can still happen there...well, as normal as it gets when not only is aging put to a pause, but dying isn’t even a permanent thing. And the duration of the stay, as far as the town is concerned, is forever.

And unsurprisingly, these effects of the town are barely half of the secrets and mysteries that it holds...But the question is, does the latest new resident that ‘accidentally’ stumbled across it (spoiler alert that’s you) really wants to know what they are?

...Perhaps some things are just better left forgotten.

Q2: If it’s not too spoilery, what are you most excited about your project?

Oh, there’s so many scenes and reveals I want to get to already that it’s hard to choose! But if I had to be specific, the one I’m most excited in writing out is Sterling’s (an RO) backstory! I don’t mean to play favorites or anything, but I like to think that their backstory as having the most Hollywood movie levels of drama and intrigue.

Sterling was honestly the first character I made for this story, even before the MC, so I can’t help myself in having some fun with this!

Q3: What inspired the current project you’re working on?

Believe it or not, Nevermoore’s first iteration was supposed to be a very specific, very self-indulgent AU fanfic of this piece of media I was into back in like, 2014? The drafts of that had remained in my Google Drive, unchanged and unworked on, that is until about two years ago when I discovered the wide, diverse world of interactive fiction.

Inspired to create a story to share with others, I ended up reviving those old documents. The plot and the characters had to be massively overhauled to make it more my own of course, and some inspiration was also been taken from shows like Stranger Things and Dark for their eerie and secretive small-town aesthetics.

Q4: Do you pull from your own identity for inspiration? How has that been reflected in your work?

...Admittedly, not so much. It was an embarrassingly lack of foresight on my part (as a first generation Filipino-Canadian), because it somehow never occurred to me that I can, in fact, add characters who are like me into my own writing. Well, lesson learned. Good news is that I already have some side characters planned who’ll be Filipinothat will show up later on in Nevermoore’s demo, as well as have a Filipino RO in a future wip. The latter of which I am very excited about!

With that being said, I will share that MCs parents in the story are actually loosely based on my own parents who were Filipino immigrants! I won’t elaborate on what parts, but I’m planning on integrating some more of their personalities in the upcoming patch. I really want dedicate those characters to them, since they’ve already sacrificed so much to bring me and my sibling here in Canada to have a better life! :)

Q5: What’s been your experience so far? With writing, with the if community...

There’s no doubt in my mind that getting involved with the IF community has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, despite being incredibly internet shy at first. I’m glad to have meet so many amazing IF writers and readers, and I definitely wouldn’t have gotten as far as I did with my projects if it weren’t for our constant support, help, and hype for each other.

This community has been so wonderful and welcoming, and I can’t wait to see it grow even more!

Q6: Do you have any future projects in the works?

At least three so far, actually! Nothing is fully established yet, just some concepts and vibes. But the genres are high-fantasy, postapocalyptic-ish, and sci-fi.

The first is about a character who’s an aspiring writer (heh) that suddenly finds themselves ‘isekaied’ into the fantasy world of the still-incomplete book they were working on. The second is about an immortal from the dawn of humanity trying to live through the endof humanity ft. zombies(?). And the third is about a volunteer of a cryosleep experiment gone wrong and ends up waking up 1000 years in the future instead. It seems here that my brain won’t let me rest and is telling me to try my hand in as many genres I can haha!

Q7: Finally, what piece of advice would you give to fellow authors?

This is advice that I still have to work on following myself but: Don’t stress too much on your first drafts, it’s called that for a reason! Focus on getting the basic ideas/dialogues/etc down and don’t be afraid to write ‘badly’, since there’s always time for you to polish it into something you’re happy with later on!

Otherwise, you’ll only get into this cycle of editing the same sections over and over, and that can burn you out before you even have the chance to work on the parts you’re actually excited for!

#if: events #Happy Asian and Pacific Islander month!! #Asian/pacific islander month 2021 #a/pi month #a/pi month 2021 #aapiheritagemonth #aapi month #interactive fiction #authors of color

[yannowhatigiveup]

My One And Only - Ch 4

Previous | Next

E chapter 4 is here. This one is longer than the previous chapter I think anyway enjoy this chapter!

Then Nino whispered to Alya "Do you think she likes Luka again?"

"I..don't know, but I'm gonna find out one way or another"

————————————————————

The trip went smoothly. Surprisingly, Lila hadn't done anything at all. Maybe she admitted to what she had done. Her loyal 'minions' had avoided her slightly today but Marinette knew they would come crawling back to Lila tomorrow, as if this never happened. Though, Marinette was grateful to have Alya, Nino and Adrien by her side. And Marinette was also surprised at how Chloe came to her defense, kinda. When the bluenette was getting her bag from her locker, she overheard Chloe confronting Lila.

"You were the cause of Marinette's late appearance weren't you? Ridiculous! Utterly Ridiculous! The only one allowed to mess with Dupain-Chen's is me, got that?" The blonde said. "If I ever find you bullying her in anyway I'll have you expelled!"

Marinette was thankful that Chloe had come in her defense, in her own way. Marinette was about to catch up to her friends, who were getting closer to the exit, when she felt a vibration from her phone in her pocket. She took her phone and saw a message from 'Uncle Jagged'. She opened it and read it.

Uncle Jagged: Hey Nettie! Sorry about the late notice but I've been called for an interview. We'll need to reschedule

Marinette began typing

Marinette: It's no problem Uncle Jagged! I'll be free for more less the rest of the week

Uncle Jagged: Yeah I'm free tomoz, you can drop by then

Marinette: Kk

Marinette but her phone away. 'I can spend more time with Damian' she thought with a smile on her face.

"Hey Marinette! You free later?" The voice of her best friend echoed in the near empty school. "We were planning on going to Adrien's later, his father finally allowed us to come over!"

"I'm afraid I can't" Marinette said, feeling a bit guilty. "I'm busy, actually-" she glanced at her phone for the time "I gotta go! See you guys later maybe!" Marinette then ran out the building.

"Oh that's...fine" Alya said while her best friend ran by. "I wonder what's so important that she passed up going to Adrien's"

"You guys sure you don't wanna join me in the car?" Adrien asked.

"It's fine dude! Alya and I can walk"

"If you say so" Adrien answered, unconvinced. As he got into the car, he used this silence so that he could here his own thought clearly. 'I...I think I like Marinette, no I'll admit it. I know I like Marinette but does she like me back?'

~~~

Alya and Nino were walking down the street together, hand in hand, before Nino started a conversation. "Do you think Marinette has stopped crushing on Adrien?"

Alya shook her head vigorously "There's no way! She has nearly every photo of him in existence and she memorized the boy's schedule boy heart don't forget!"

"But then how do you explain how she was acting earlier?" Nino stated, firmly believing his own theory. "She didn't trip on her words at all! Even when she was tired she would always stammer while talking to him"

Alya then thought about what her boyfriend was saying. "You're right! And to think Adrien just started showing signs of liking her". Alya sighed in sympathy for the blonde boy. "Do you think she likes Luka again?"

"Who else could it be?" Nino asked but didn't wait for his (rhetorical) question to be answered as they reached the gate to Adrien's house.

~~~

Marinette rushed home to change and to drop her designs in her room. She's gotten a lot better at designing and making her designs, so much better that everything she would where would be her original designs and she was proud of it. She quickly got changed into a light cream top with long sleeves, the cream top was so light in colour that it could basically be passed off as white. She also had a pair of jet-black leggings to match. "What do you think Tikki?"

"You look great Marinette!" The kwami yawned.

Happy with her outfit, she grabbed her sketched book, put it in her bag, grabbed her shoes and ran downstairs. "I'm going to a friend's place, I'll probably be back in the evening. Bye Maman! Papa!"

"Bye Marinette!" Sabine shouted, luckily Marinette's parents were too busy working on a cake to notice how Marinette was dressed purposefully to impress. Marinette also noticed how Tikki looked tired so she tried not to run so the little kwami could get some sleep.

She soon arrived at Le Grand Paris. She felt very out of place as the doors opened for her but she walked without fear to the reception. 'Here we go'.

"Yes Miss, how may I help you?" The female receptionist asked.

"Hi, um I'm here to go to Mr Damian's room"

The receptionist nodded "Alright just give me one minute" she seemed to brace herself to call the room's phone which Marinette didn't understand. True Damian isn't that great with expressing his emotions but he wasn't that bad. Well, not to her at least. She blushed slightly at this realisation "Sir? There's someone here to see you"

"Ask for their name" a voice from the telephone said.

"Excuse me miss what's your name?"

"Marinette" the bluenette said.

"She says her name is Marinette, sir" the receptionist said with a slightly shaky voice.

"She may come in" the voice from the telephone rang.

The receptionist put the phone down and told Marinette the floor and room number. Though she already knew the room number, she didn't know what floor he was on so the information was useful. Marinette then walked to the lift and pressed the button that would lead her to the floor Damian was on. When she reached the door she had to breathe in a little before knocking on it. Surprisingly it opened right away, by Damian of course.

"Hi again, Damian" Marinette said switching to English. When she opened her eyes she saw that Damian was examining her. 'Did I put something on that didn't match? No it can't that' Marinette then blushed a little. Though she didn't even know the guy for a full day, her crush for him had blossomed, tremendously.

Damian glanced at Marinette's outfit, it complimented her personality and physique perfectly. He then realised he might had been staring for some time now and shook his head to snap out of the trance. "Yes, hello again. Please, come in" and he opened the doors for her. Damian watched as she looked around the suite, examining her surroundings, while Damian went back to examining, well, Marinette.

"Wow, You got one of the big suites" Marinette said, her eyes outshining anything bright in the room.

"Yeah" Damian mumbled and he could tell that the girl seemed pretty self conscious about her outfit. 'Because of me staring no doubt'. So to cheer her up, he said "You look lovely by the way"

The girl's face turned into a bright red. "You really think so?"

Damian nodded. "That hair clip suits you. If you're top was pure white, I would've been convinced that you were an angel, not that you aren't one already" Damian thought of something. "Actually, Angel is not a bad nickname for you. Is it ok if I refer to you as that from now on?"

Marinette was consumed by happiness. "Thanks for complimenting my outfit at being able to pick out all the little details" On her face was now a look of pure love and joy. "And since you'll be calling me 'Angel', I think it's only fair if I call you 'Shaytan' from now on" This made Damian laugh.

"Courtesy of my brothers no doubt" Earlier, Damian had told her that his brothers usually called him 'Demon Spawn' and she laughed, not seeing why they call him that. He knew that Marinette was aware of his 'ice-cold' personality but she never judged him for it. "And is it ok if we watch this Jagged Stone interview? My brothers and I are quite big fans, Tim and Jason are even bigger fans for MDC. Full out fanboys"

Marinette giggled, "Sure I don't mind! I'm a fan of Jagged Stone too". Damian then went to turn the TV on while Marinette wen to out her bag somewhere, but she kept her phone with her. She then sat next to Damian on the sofa, leaving about a pencil's width between them. Damian was fine with this, actually, he would be fine if Marinette full on hugged him with sitting there. He didn't mind.

Then, Nadja Chamack's voice echoed in the more or less quiet hotel room. "So Jagged Stone, many of the viewers, myself included, Have been all wondering the same question: Who is this MDC?"

Jagged Stone chuckled. "Well I'm not going to reveal her name yet but I can tell you, she is honorary my niece."

"Interesting, very interesting" Nadja said. "Is it possible if we could have an interview with her?"

"If she's willing to pick up her phone then sure" Jagged chuckled again while reaching for his phone and dialing a number.

Then Marinette's phone rang. Damian did get a bit suspicious at first but didn't want to invade her privacy. That was until Marinette's voice echoed through the TV's speakers.

"Hi Uncle Jagged!"

———

Taglist: @little-bluestar,@miracleofadisaster

#maribat #daminette #marinette x damian #damian x marinette #mlb x dc