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#and then under it they just dish out genuine life advice with that
jostyriggslover96 · 4 months
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Best Thing In My Life
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Summary: Kira (OC) and Jack Hughes met through mutual friends unexpectedly one summer. Sparks fly on their first date as their connection continues full force. Now, as Kira visits Jack at his lake things become more serious in every way possible. Kira's thoughts are in italics. Part of the HEART FIRST Series, check out Summer Rituals and Someone Unexpected if you haven’t already!
Note: Thank you for all the love on my two Jack stories, this series has become one of my favorite things to write. This piece in particular was a labor of love and 2 months of writing, but I am so happy with it and hope you enjoy! Thank you to @hockeyboysimagines and @heavenlyhischier for your encouragement and advice on this story!
Warnings: mentions of drinking, swearing, anxiety, smut (unprotected p in v, oral, praise kink). Minors DNI.
Word Count: 14.3k
Best Thing In My Life
Summer was always my favorite time of the year; between the lake days, bonfires, barbeques, and ice cold drinks…it was the best time of the year. This summer blew every other summer out of the water though, because this is the summer that I met Jack Hughes. I don’t normally believe in things like fate or soulmates, but I do truly believe that Jack and I were meant to meet. After our first date which we spent hiking, swimming, cooking, and laughing, we didn’t look back…we only moved forward. 
My first date with Jack was probably the best first date I’ve ever had. Jack somehow made me feel butterflies, calm, and laughter all at the same time. Spending time at the lake with him felt so natural, he fit into my life seamlessly. When we were cooking dinner and he washed all the dishes for me, I could picture so many nights like that with him. As we watched the stars and shared our first kiss, all of the walls I had built around me came tumbling down. I think I will be chasing after his lips for the rest of my life. 
Jack and I spent as much time as we could together after our first date. It involved a lot of extending vacations, creating dates out of smaller moments, facetime calls, and long distance dates. The effort was always there though; whether it was offering to run into town together to pick up supplies and get a moment away from our friends, or spending the entire day talking about life out on the boat together, or dates at the airport coffee shop, or spending the entire evening on facetime until we fell asleep just so we could be with each other, or starting movies at the same time so we could experience the same things even from a distance. We texted each other constantly and had a good chain of memes that made the other laugh. Jack even ordered my favorite coffee from Starbucks and had it delivered to my apartment. As hard as the long distance was, we did everything we could to feel close to each other despite just meeting.
Jack constantly surprised me in so many ways, he wasn’t the typical hockey player that I expected. You could tell he was raised right and that he genuinely respects me. He extended his time at the lake with me twice after our first date so we could spend more time together. Once so he could spend more time with me in my favorite place and the second time was because he liked the ‘vibe’ of my apartment so much that he just had to stay.
Beyond grand gestures, it was small things that he did that made me feel special. After our first kiss, we spent far too long talking under the stars about life and all of our favorite parts of it. Every time I saw him after that, he always surprised me with one of my favorite things. The morning after our first date he brought me my coffee just the way I like it. When we went out on the boat together he brought a cooler of all my favorite snacks and drinks. When we went to the little movie theater at the lake, he passed me my favorite chocolate bar just as the previews started. On the ride back to the city, he put together a playlist with some of my favorite artists. After we got back to the city he disappeared while I started the laundry, he came back with my favorite takeout and the next book in the poetry series I was telling him about the day we met. 
It became clear from the beginning, that this relationship with Jack was more than just a one time date…it was special. It’s beyond special even, it’s the connection that I’ve been looking for. Jack is such a genuine, caring, and supportive person that it’s led to a trust with someone I never even imagined to be possible. I can be myself with Jack, even if that means being anxious or really struggling with vulnerability because of my last relationship. There has never been a moment with Jack where I haven’t felt reassured or safe being me. 
The relationship went beyond sweet dates and special gestures, we were able to really open up to each other too. I felt comfortable telling him about my struggles with anxiety, which worsened after my last relationship. Jack held my hand the entire time, wiping the stray tears that fell and assured me that he would never treat me like my ex. Jack told me about his relationship history, even expressing nerves when he told me that he’s never been in something serious. He told me he didn’t want to screw anything up with me and I assured him that he wouldn’t, we’re in this together.
Jack opened up about how challenging his rookie season was and how much that damaged my confidence. When he told me that he felt like he wasn’t ‘good enough’ I wanted to find each of the reporters that wrote negative things about him and rip them apart. Instead we laid together on the couch, his head resting on my chest as I played with his hair and told him how talented and worthy he is.
Jack told me more about his brothers, it became so clear to me that he loved his family more than anything on this earth. We bonded over our love for our moms, which I never expected. Jack spoke about his mom like she hung the moon and he watched me in admiration as I talked about how my mom was one of my closest friends. I told him that I couldn’t wait to meet his family, especially his mom so I could tell her how amazing her son is. That was the first time he seemed shy to me, his cheeks tinted pink as he rubbed the back of his neck and avoided my gaze. 
I quickly started to feel things for Jack that I have never felt before; the butterflies turned into warmth and comfort or a deep longing when he wasn’t around. Jack made me feel validated…special…beautiful. He filled me with a confidence I had long forgotten when he would call me beautiful every day and would praise each of my accomplishments no matter how little. For the first time in my life, I have been able to push past the fear of being vulnerable and just let myself feel with Jack. He allows me to put my heart first. 
It’s safe to say that these six weeks spent dating and getting to know Jack Hughes have been incredible. He has proven to me that I can trust another man and that relationships can be healthy. He has broken down my walls and has reminded me what happiness feels like. Summer might be my favorite season, but meeting Jack Hughes without a doubt changed my life.
“Flight 826 to Detroit will be boarding in 10 minutes, please ensure you have your boarding passes and identification ready,” the loud voice of the flight attendant on the overhead system shook me from my pleasant daydream about Jack. Jack meant what he said when he told me that he wanted to show me around his lake. So here we were, 6 weeks after our first date as I’m waiting to board my flight to go see his favorite place. The only reason we waited so long was because he had to get the new lakehouse ready after he purchased it with his brother Quinn. 
Bouncing my leg as I grip my phone so tightly that my knuckles turn white, the anticipation is killing me. This is worth it, in a few short hours I’ll be with Jack. I let out a deep breath in an attempt to soothe myself, I just want to be in his arms. As if he sensed my nerves despite the miles between us, my phone lit up with a text from Jack.
J: Babe, I know you hate flying but you’ve got this. I’ll be here waiting for you when you land. 
I smiled to myself as my grip on my phone relaxed, it’s like he knows what I’m thinking.
K: So excited to meet Quinn and Luke!
J: What about me? 
I could sense the pout in his text even though I couldn’t see his face.
K: Can’t wait to see you Jacky, I miss you so much! Can’t wait to have you back in my arms shorty 😛
J: First of all, I’m 5’11 😛Second of all, I can’t wait for that either.
K:5’11, how dare I! Can’t wait to see that smile when I get off my flight.
“Please make your way to gate 21 for Flight 826 to Detroit as we are now boarding,” the voice chimed in on the overhead once more.
K: Gotta go baby, boarding now. See you soon!
J: Can’t wait babe ❤️
My heart fluttered when I saw his text, maybe it was just the heart emoji or maybe he felt it too. I am falling fast for this man, I thought as I gathered my bag and coffee before making my way to the boarding line.
~~~~~~~~~~~
After a grueling 6-hour flight, the captain finally announced that we were preparing for landing. Flying was never particularly my thing, having very little experience in this department made me very tense. However, this flight seemed to never end as 6-hours felt more like 12-hours as I was getting more and more antsy to see Jack. I spent the whole flight bouncing my leg and picking at my nail beds. I’m shocked the older gentleman sitting next to me didn’t say a single thing about my fidgeting habits that must’ve grown annoying. He simply smiled gently and asked me why I was traveling. I hesitated when I tried to explain who Jack was, he isn’t my boyfriend but he feels like he is. But what if it's way too soon to make declarations like that? Instead of exploring this dilemma with my seatmate I simply stated that I am going to visit my boyfriend. Those words felt nice leaving my mouth.
It felt like an eternity from the time we landed, found a gate, and were ready to deplane. I swear I was squeezing the seatrests so hard, I’m surprised I didn’t crush them. Once it was my turn to leave my seat, I quickly gathered my things and bid my seatmate goodbye. Practically bouncing in place I followed behind the other passengers before setting a pace somewhere between a speed walk and a jog once we were safely off the plane. Somehow I managed to text Jack, navigate the airport, and not run into anyone simultaneously. 
After a short adventure through the Detroit airport, I was on the escalator that made its way to the baggage claim and airport exit. My eyes darted around anxiously scanning for Jack, most people were on their phones or scanning the crowd for their loved ones. Suddenly my eyes landed on the blue-eyed brunette whose smile lit up when our eyes locked. I swear I could’ve melted right then and there when he sent me a wink and a wave as I waited to get off the escalator. Once the family in front of me got off the escalator, I quickly zigzagged through the crowd before stopping in front of Jack who was still beaming from ear to ear. Within a split second my carry-on was on the ground and my arms were thrown around Jack’s neck as I pulled him as close as possible. 
“Hi Jacky,” I exhaled, finally letting out a sigh of relief that I’ve been holding in since I last saw him. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, squeezing so hard that he lifted me off the ground slightly. Inhaling as he held me tightly my nostrils were met with his familiar scent, sandalwood with hints of fresh water, probably the lake. 
“Hi babe,” Jack whispered as he pressed his warm lips to my temple. In his arms, I was home. Everything stopped while we were in each other's arms, nothing else existed. We completely tuned out from the hustle and bustle of people around us, the child who was excitedly showing her grandma the paw patrol stuffy she had, and the older couple who commented on how cute we were when they passed us. Anxiety dripped away as Jack ran his hands gently along my back.
“I missed you,” I mumbled in his ear as I squeezed my eyes shut, warding off the tears that were forming. I had really missed him more than I thought I did. 
“Missed you more,” Jack replied as he leaned back in my arms to get a good look at me. Smiling warmly, his arms left my waist and wiped the tears that were pooling in my eyes before making their way back to my waist just as fast. I returned his smile as I took him all in; his skin was sun kissed, even more than it was when I last saw him and his hair had fleck of sandy blonde pepper throughout it. “So glad you’re here, I can’t wait to show you around,” excitement filled Jack’s voice as I played with the ends of his hair on the back of his neck.
“Me too,” I echoed his excitement as he gave my waist a tender squeeze. “Before we go, this is important,” before Jack could question what I was referring to I pulled his head down to mine and crashed my lips on his. Our lips connected in passionate bliss that sent warmth shooting through my body, lips entwined in unison for a few heavenly moments before we pulled away. 
“Good call, that was important,” Jack whispered, his lips so close to mine that they brushed with every word. Smirking, I pecked his lips again. My heart was pounding so fast I could hear it, not from anxiety though, from pure joy.
“Also you didn’t miss me more, impossible,” I emphasized with another kiss. His nose nuzzled mine as we pulled away, there was something so simple but intimate about this moment. While staring into each other’s eyes, giggling about my competitive insistence that I missed Jack more when we were brought back into reality by a young child screaming a few feet away from us. We pulled away hesitantly to glance at the child, I sent the mother an empathetic smile as she attempted to soothe the child.
“Should we get your bag?” Jack commented as he leaned down to grab my carry-on bag while keeping an arm securely around my waist. I nodded silently as my arms dropped from his neck and one settled at his waist, staying as close as we possibly could when we started walking. “We’ve got a bit of a drive, but not too bad. I figured you’d want to stop at Starbucks before we leave the city since you were up so early,” Jack explained.
“You know me so well,” I smiled warmly while glancing up at him, he responded by squeezing my waist and pulling me closer to his side if that were possible.
“How was the flight?”
“So long, I thought it would never end,” I sighed dramatically as Jack let out a chuckle. “The older man beside me was nice though.”
“Oh yeah,” Jack commented as we stopped at the appropriate baggage claim.
“Yeah, he was asking me about my trip and what brought me to Detroit. He is visiting his grandkids. He told me to have fun with my boyfriend while I was leaving,” nervous butterflies flooded my body at the mention of the word. Silence rang loudly between us as Jack stepped forward to grab my bag of the carousel. 
“Huh, I like the sound of that,” he winked at me as he drew the handle on my bag up and replaced his hand on my waist. “Alright Kira, let’s get my babe to the lake,” he exclaimed before turning me around and guiding me to the door. He liked the sound of that. So did I. I loved the sound of that. Jack Hughes…my boyfriend…maybe. 
~~~~~~~~~~
Jack and I spent the car ride up to his lake house catching up on every possible detail of our lives that the other had missed since we last saw each other, even though we gave each other very detailed recaps of our day every evening on the phone or Facetime. We remained as intertwined as possible, Jack’s fingers laced with mine where they rested on the center console of his Range Rover. 
As promised, we stopped at a Starbucks before we left Detroit, to my surprise Jack remembered my favorite summer beverage. When we pulled up to the drive thru he glanced my way and asked ‘the usual’ before reciting my order perfectly. His attention to detail sets my heart on fire. Small things like this, remembering my coffee order, make me feel so special. Jack makes me feel cared for.
We spent the rest of the ride talking, listening to music, and laughing. I vented to Jack about the annoying new girl at work who seems insistent on calling me Kara instead of Kira. Jack listened attentively the whole time, throwing in his two cents here and there, but never once making me feel ridiculous or like my feelings were invalid. Jack let me choose the music the entire way, even turning the music up when Harry Styles came on.
“I like this one,” Jack commented as he increased the volume.
“You, Jack Hughes, like Watermelon Sugar?” my voice filled with shock at this new revelation.
“Yeah, it’s pretty catchy,” he shot a smile my way.
“You know what this song is about right?” I questioned.
“Other than watermelon, no,” he replied as we drove deeper into the trees. His lake house wasn’t too far outside of Detroit, but you would’ve never guessed it was this close to the city. It felt like another world out here.
“It’s about oral Jack,” I teased as I gave his hand a squeeze. As I glanced at Jack I noticed his face was flush around his neck and ears.
“Well, I don’t hate that either,” he stated very casually before shooting a smirk my way. I couldn’t help but snort as boisterous laughter poured out of me. Jack started laughing too before he decided it was a good time to break out his singing chops as he started singing along to the chorus of the song, sending me even further into my fit of laughter. 
The ride didn’t last much longer, time seemed to move more quickly as we started singing along to all the songs and got even goofier with each other if that were possible. Jack pulled onto a winding road full of stunning lake houses that looked more like lake mansions compared to my family cabin. We drove for a minute past the cabins before pulling onto the winding driveway of the house Jack had sent me many pictures of when the purchase became official.
“Well this is home for the summer,” Jack commented as he squeezed my hand before putting his vehicle in park. I was silent for a moment, taking in the beautiful view of the lake house on the water. It was a decent size, not obnoxiously huge, and it still felt down to earth.
“Wow Jack, it’s even better than the pictures,” my voice was full of disbelief as I took in my surroundings.
“Thank you, we love it,” Jack commented as he opened the door and held up his hand, signaling for me to stay in my seat as he jogged around the car to my door. Pulling my door open, he held out his hand to help me out as I undid my seatbelt and took his hand in mine once more. Jack quickly gathered my bags as I grabbed our empty coffee cups from the car before he led the way inside. Somehow he managed to carry my suitcase and carry-on while having an arm securely wrapped around my waist and opened the front door with ease. 
“Welcome to the lake house,” Jack’s soft voice filled my ears as I entered the foyer of the spacious lake house. “We don’t have all the finishing touches done, but it looks pretty good so far,” Jack explained as he placed my bags by the front door. I glanced around taking in the living room to my left and the kitchen up ahead.
“It looks like Mama Hughes has been helping you decorate,” I teased Jack gently, while brushing his hip with mine.
“She may have been here to help out,” Jack scoffed as he took the empty coffee cups from me.
“I don’t think your couch would have any accent throw pillows if your mom wasn’t here,” I shot back at him jokingly as I took in more of the room.
“Touché,” Jack replied as I walked around the living room, taking in all the nice details.
“Alright Jacky, I need the grand tour.”
“Well first of all, welcome to my crib,” Jack started off without hesitation as he launched into his tour of the lake house causing me to snicker as I followed along with him. He showed me the den with the pool table, the movie theater den with various gaming consoles, the various guest rooms on the main floor, the bedrooms upstairs that had spacious ensuites which I learned belonged to him and Quinn. When I commented on how clean it was, Jack told me that he may have forced his brothers to help him clean up the place for me. I found that incredibly sweet and endearing, he wanted it to look nice for me. He cared about making a good impression, no guy has ever cared about that with me before.
Jack continued his tour by showing me around the garage that was being turned into a hockey training area where they could wear roller blades and practice their shot. Jack showed me around their kitchen, explaining that he and Quinn did most of the cooking for everyone. Then the tour branched out onto the deck, as we were leaving the house Jack and I heard rustling in the bushes on the edge of the deck. 
“What is that?” I questioned as my curiosity peaked.
“No clue,” Jack commented as he walked closer to the edge of the deck, his arm out to keep me behind him. 
“Do you get much wildlife up here?”
“Not a ton,” Jack explained as he reached the edge of the deck and peaked over the railing. “Are you serious?” Jack exclaimed in destain as he took in whatever he saw over the edge of the deck. Coming up behind his shoulder, I decided to peek around to see what he seemed unimpressed by and was met with the sight of Quinn and Luke crouched down in the bushes along the edge of the deck. This was quite the interesting introduction, seeing as I have only ever seen them in pictures or heard Jack talk about them.
Instantly I started to giggle at the sight of two grown guys that appeared to be hiding quite badly in the bushes. “Are you guys hiding?” I managed between giggles. Quinn and Luke popped up from their hiding place in the bushes and started brushing the leaves off themselves.
“No, absolutely not,” Quinn scoffed.
“Nah, just hanging in the bushes like normal people?” Jack questioned, his voice dripping with skepticism. 
“We weren’t hanging out in the bushes or hiding,” Quinn countered.
“That’s what it looked like,” I commented. Jack nodded in my direction, signaling his agreement with my comment. Jack gently threw his arm around my shoulders as Quinn and Luke stepped out of the bushes and came to join us on the deck. I reciprocated the gesture and wrapped my arm around my waist, snuggling into his side.
“We were actually gardening– um, discussing a garden I mean,” Quinn stuttered as they joined us. Quinn glanced over at Luke, his eyes wide, looking for some kind of validation. 
“We were?” Luke questioned. Quinn gently smacked him in the stomach, clearly Luke was blowing this. “I mean, yeah the gardening,” Luke tried to smooth over the conversation but failed miserably. 
“Yeah, I don’t buy it,” Jack said flatly, calling out their bullshit. The three brothers stared at each other silently, clearly engaged in some kind of Hughes’ brothers staring contest. After a few moments of silence, I cleared my throat, regaining the attention of the brothers.
“You guys are awful liars, but it’s nice to meet you both. I’m Kira, Jack has told me a lot about you,” I put on my sweetest smile and extended my arm that wasn’t wrapped around Jack to shake their hands. Quinn brushed aside my hand and pulled me in for a side hug. 
“I’m Quinn, nice to meet you Kira,” Quinn said as he pulled away. “This is Luke.”
“You talk about us?” Luke stared at Jack before turning to me and smiling, leaning in for a side hug just like Quinn. 
“Only the embarrassing stories,” Jack quipped. I scoffed and gave Jack a gentle pat on his stomach for teasing his brother.
“Jack won’t shut up about you,” Luke replied, his eyes were screaming ‘ha ha’ at Jack. They are such typical brothers and I love it so much. 
“Oh, is that so,” I look up at Jack with a knowing look as his cheeks begin to flush. His brothers start to snicker at their brother's embarrassment. 
“Well you’re pretty great, and there's lots to tell,” Jack trailed off as he began rambling.
“I think it's sweet,” I smiled before standing on my tiptoes to place a soft kiss on Jack’s cheek. As I pulled back I noticed that Jack’s cheeks flush even more while we continued to chat with Quinn and Luke. 
Despite the butterflies that were rumbling in my stomach and my sweaty palms, I would say that my first meeting with Jack’s brothers went very well. Luke ended up letting the surprise slip that some of Jack’s friends would be coming for a barbecue. Luke passionately claimed that he didn’t know that was a surprise, as I giggled and he earned a smack from Jack and Quinn. 
Jack told me that the plan for our day was to go explore some of his favorite spots at the lake, just like our first date many weeks ago. I noticed Luke’s face drop when Jack mentioned that we should get going soon for lunch, so as I went inside to change I dragged Jack to the side and asked if he would be alright with inviting his brothers along for a little lake tour. I can’t imagine how hard it is for the brothers to be separated for so many months of the year while they are all playing hockey, especially with how Jack describes their closeness. Jack’s eyes lit up at my suggestion before he scurried off to tell his brothers the plan. 
After quickly changing out of my travel clothes and into some jean shorts and a band t-shirt, we were ready to go. As we piled in the car Jack suggested going to the country club for lunch, I shot Jack a nervous look while bringing up my casual attire. Jack just smiled and told me things would be alright as Quinn reassured me that the club doesn’t have a dress code. Luke even chimed in saying that Jack always wears band t-shirts to the club. Somehow this didn’t ease my nerves as we drove down the lake roads, my mind started racing as I stared out the window wondering if Jack would think less of me for not dressing like a prim and proper WAG. A moment later Jack’s fingers curled in mine and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, a sense of relief flooded through my body like the waves crashing on the lake. 
The drive to the country club was short, Quinn explained this was part of the appeal of the lake house, they could be that much closer to the water and golf. When we entered the club I was pleasantly surprised to see how casual everyone else was, Jack whispered ‘told you so’ in my ear as the waiter led us to our table. We spent most of lunch with his arm wrapped around me as the brothers told stories of their summertime shenanigans. Quinn and Luke peppered me with questions about school, my family, my plans after graduation, if I would ever be willing to move, and more. I noticed Jack gave them a menacing look or a kick under the table as a warning to go easy on me. Yet I seemed to impress them with my answers, as all the brothers looked pleased to learn more about me. 
After lunch, we got into the car and drove to the training facility where Jack described spending most of his days. Jack seemed nervous sharing his favorite places with me, as he rubbed the back of his neck and told me we didn’t need to go inside if I didn’t want to. It was my turn to reassure him, as I wrapped my arm around his waist and insisted he show me around the facility. Jack gave an interesting tour of where they trained and explained to me how he was trying to improve on different aspects of his game throughout the summer. I watched in awe of his passion as he talked about the sport he clearly loved. While Quinn and Luke were busy talking to a trainer, Jack told me more about how his rookie year shook his confidence and made him feel like a failure. My heartbroke hearing him talk about himself in those ways. 
Doing the only thing I could think of to reassure him, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close while I whispered in his ear all the ways he never fails to impress me on and off the ice. Jack seemed to cheer up as we left the practice facility and drove back towards the lake town. We stopped at a small coffee shop and grabbed an afternoon pick me up. Luke ordered a hot chocolate, which I teased him for as he sipped the hot drink in the sweltering weather while Jack and I enjoyed our iced coffees. After the coffee shop we stopped at a bakery where Jack insisted I try a cinnamon bun that he claims ‘changed his life’. The bakery staff were excited to see Jack, questioning him about his summer and the new lake house. He is clearly a regular here and blushed when I asked him if he cheats on his training diet often. 
After the bakery, Jack and I walked hand-in-hand, looking in at some of the cute lake shops in the area. All the boys were patient as I picked out a few souvenirs and fought over who got to carry my bags. The afternoon seemed to fly by, as Quinn, who fits the older brother card to a tee, reminded the boys of the time and what they needed to prepare for the barbecue. We headed back to the lake house to start preparations, when to my surprise Quinn insisted that Jack and I take a ride on the boat so Jack could show me the water. I graciously thanked Quinn as Jack dragged me off in the direction of the dock, clearly eager that we could get some private time together. 
As I was helping him untie the ropes, I noticed his face was serious, like his mind was racing about something. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me that Quinn invited more of their friends than he expected. I assured him that I was excited to meet all of his friends, even if it was a big group as he helped me into the boat. Jack’s face dropped once more as he explained that his friends would be taking up all the guest rooms, hesitating before telling me why that was upsetting. 
“So I’m guessing we’re sharing a room,” I asked as I put two and two together. Panic flashed across Jack’s face as he stuttered to respond. 
“Yeah, well, it looks like we are. If you’re okay with that. I can sleep on the couch if that makes you uncomfortable,” Jack rambled as he paced back and forth on the boat. Standing from the comfortable seat I was planted on, I placed both my arms on Jack’s shoulders to stop him. 
“Jack, I’m completely fine with that. It doesn’t bother me at all, but thank you for being so concerned for my comfort,” I offered him a reassuring smile as his eyes finally met mine. His features softened at my soft tone, I could practically feel the tension melting away from him. 
“I just know it’s early and I don’t want to rush you,” Jack’s voice was softer and calmer as he spoke. 
“Jacky, you aren’t rushing me! Now if you don’t want to cuddle with me, I’ll understand,” I teased him, jokingly poking his side. Finally his signature smile graced his lips once again. 
“Oh I don’t think I’ll ever say no to that offer,” he smirked before leaning in and pressing his lips to my forehead. The kiss was soft, gentle…like a thank you for calming him. 
“Now let’s get going, I want to see this gorgeous lake you always talk about,” I commented as I gestured towards the driver's seat. Jack simply smiled and took his place behind the wheel, pulling me down into his lap as he started the engine. This was turning out to be the perfect day. 
~~~~~~~~~
Once Jack and I returned from the water, preparations for the barbecue were in full swing. Jack and I walked into the kitchen to find Quinn instructing Luke on how to slice the tomatoes for burgers. It was quite comical really, Luke was rolling his eyes behind Quinn’s back and as a result, almost sliced his finger. When Jack and I started snickering, Quinn and Luke were alerted to our presence. 
“Ahh if it isn’t the love birds who got out of helping,” Luke smirked at the two of us. His eyes landed on our intertwined hands as we stood in the kitchen. His comments earned him a smack from Quinn as a result. 
“This is a barbecue in Kira’s honor, we aren’t going to make her help,” Jack scolded Luke. It was quite cute to see him go into older brother mode. 
“Kira, we made sure to get you dairy free cheese for the burgers,” Quinn commented, completely ignoring his bickering brothers. 
“Thank you, that’s very sweet,” I smiled gratefully at him. 
“Anything for you baby,” Jack replied as he pressed his lips to my temple. Melting in his embrace for a moment before excusing myself to go change my outfit. Jack scurried past me to carry my bag up to his room for me, which earned him a sweet kiss as a thank you. 
Once I changed into an outfit that my friends had deemed ‘hot enough for Jack but not too hot for his friends’ I touched up my makeup and made my way back downstairs. I noticed that everything had shifted outside and there were more people with the Hughes boys. Instantly feeling my palms start to sweat, I shook them out and took a deep breath. This is a huge deal; meeting the brothers and the friends on the same day. Jack is worth it though, meeting all these people is worth it because I get to be a part of his life. 
“Kira,” Jack’s voice tore me from my thoughts as my eyes refocused and I noticed the handsome brunette standing in front of me. The nerves melted away as Jack wrapped an arm around my waist, he was starting to feel more and more like home. “Ready for this?”
“For you? Absolutely,” I smiled as I wrapped my arm around him and let him guide me outside. My ears were instantly met with loud voices and rambunctious laughter that died down when everyone took in my sudden presence. All the guys were staring at Jack and I, eyes wide like they’ve never seen Jack with a girl before. That honestly seems unlikely to me. 
“Guys, this is Kira,” Jack started as I was met with a chorus of hello’s. Waving sheepishly as the large group of hockey players, Jack began his introductions of the guys that I have heard so many stories about. “Kira, this is Alex, Cole, Trevor, Brady, Matty, and Nico who you’ve met before.” 
I nodded at each of them, offering a nervous smile as I tried to remember who was who. There was an awkward silence as they all stared at me for a moment, perhaps judging if I was worthy of their friend. Nico broke the silence by pulling me into a hug and suddenly there were the murmurs of talkative boys once again. Some of the guys shook my hand, Alex and Brady simply waved, Matty pulled me in for a surprising hug, and Trevor was…well Trevor. Just as I was settling back into Jack’s embrace, a smirk settled on Trevor’s face. Based on Jack’s stories, I knew what was coming next would be interesting. 
“So you’re the cougar that’s preying on our precious Jack,” Trevor deadpanned. I inhaled abruptly and choked on my saliva, causing me to cough for a moment.  He was smirking but I couldn’t tell if he was serious. Quinn smacked the back of Trevor’s head and muttered ‘moron’. The rest of the guys looked between Jack and Trevor with uncertainty. However, I felt Jack’s grip tighten around my waist as his body tensed up, this being the only time he’s ever reacted this way in my presence. 
I heard Luke whisper to Quinn, “can she be a cougar if they’re like 4 years apart?”
“Dude, what the fuck? Could you just shut the fuck up,” Jack snapped at his friend. Instinctively I leaned in closer to him, placing my hand on his chest in comfort. 
“It was a joke man,” Trevor chuckled, throwing his arms up in defense. 
“Not a funny one, don’t say shit like that to her,” Jack’s voice was dripping with frustration. A tone I had never heard in him before. Looking between the friends and the other boys, it was easy to figure out that these two didn’t usually fight. Leaning into his ear, I whisper ‘it’s okay’ to try to calm him. 
“Okay, man. I’m sorry,” Trevor replied, his tone significantly less cocky than before. 
“Don’t say sorry to me,” Jack warned. 
“I’m sorry Kira,” Trevor offered. I nodded in return, wracking my brain for something to say. 
“It’s okay. Also if I remember correctly, he came onto me first, so I definitely wasn’t preying on him,” I replied sarcastically. Everyone broke out into raucous laughter. 
“Jack you dog,” Trevor teased. 
“Always liked the older ladies,” Cole chimed in. 
“I did not come onto you first,” Jack scoffed, staring down at me in shock. 
“Sure you didn’t,” I winked at him. “Agree to disagree,” I offered before standing on my tiptoes and pressing my lips to his gently, which quickly earned whistles from the other guys. 
The rest of the evening went off without a hitch. Trevor apologized profusely to Jack and I once everyone broke into separate conversations. Jack clearly wasn’t one to hold a grudge but gave Trevor a look that clearly set him straight. Trevor then went on to ask me about all the crazy stories I had from working in a bar and made the big claim that he’s never embarrassed himself while drinking, all the guys reminded him of the times he has after that. 
Cole and Alex seemed genuinely interested in what I was taking in school and why I went for a second degree. Cole declared that he would’ve been a doctor if he hadn’t been a hockey player to which Jack told him he wasn’t smart enough for that. Matty asked me flat out why I wanted to date a 19 year old if I was 23, which earned him an elbow from Brady and Nico. Quinn and Trevor bickered like an old married couple, honestly reminding me of my grandparents at times. Luke tried to sneak a beer once or twice, which no one would allow. 
I spent most of the night comfortably seated in Jack’s lap. Normally the open affection in front of others would make me flinch, but with Jack it brought me calm and comfort. Jack continuously asked me if I was enjoying myself or if I needed another drink or if I wanted another burger. He even ate the dairy free cheese on his burger after Trevor said it looked gross. 
Jack and I spent the evening telling stories of how we met, how Jack ‘bagged’ me, our first date, and so much more. I never expected his brothers or his friends to care this much about our relationship but they never seemed bored. I was able to learn so much more about Jack and why he is who he is from his brothers and friends. Jack notably cringed when Cole told a story of the time Jack tried to ‘hit on some ladies’ while he was playing for team USA. Trevor excitedly pointed out how badly it went. Jack looked like he wanted to crawl out of his skin when Quinn found a few baby pictures of Jack on his phone for me, they made my heart melt completely. If my heart wasn’t with this man before, it surely was now. 
Trevor insisted I play on his team when a beer pong game broke out, excited to find that I had decent skills. Skills so decent in fact, that I beat every guy there. Matty chalked it up to the extra life experience I had, but the rest of the guys gave me ‘mad respect’. Jack told me that he had never been prouder of ‘his girl’, which made me melt even more. Jack was quickly corrected when the party moved inside and I beat Trevor at Halo quite easily; then Jack declared that I was the best girl he ever dated. 
All of the guys seemed to accept me with open arms, literally. They all insisted on hugs when Jack and I were heading upstairs. Trevor apologized for being a douche once again, I told him it was water under the bridge and Jack reminded him not to mess with me. Alex reminded us to ‘use protection’ as we headed up the stairs, which earned him an elbow from Nico. Luke let out a horrified gasp and asked Quinn if he would be able to hear us through the walls. That earned Luke the middle finger from Jack and myself. 
Jack and I settled into our room quite comfortably. He asked a million questions about my skin care routine, even asking if I brought any of those ‘face mask things’. He sat with me the whole time I was getting ready for bed; asking me what I thought of the day, if I liked the lake, what I thought of his brothers, and if his friends were overwhelming. Jack even turned his back as I changed into my pajamas, thank god I packed cute ones. He let me choose my side of the bed and kept a respectful distance once we got under the covers. He quickly loosened up when I reminded him about the cuddling and we fell asleep peacefully wrapped in each other's arms. 
The night was a major success on every front, the more I learned about Jack the more invested in him I became. He spent the whole evening ensuring I was comfortable and content, I’ve never had that before. As hesitant as I was to meet Jack and as much as I ran from relationships, he had convinced me to jump into this full force. He convinced me that I was safe with him, that he would never rush me and that he would always try to understand my feelings. Jack really was the guy I never expected to meet, but he completely changed my life. I wanted him all to myself, to be mine completely, to be my boyfriend. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Waking up in Jack’s arms the next morning was like waking up in a dream. It was a dream you never wanted to end as I basked in the comfort of his warm arms. We spent what felt like forever cuddling, pressing soft kisses to each other's lips, and talking about how happy we were in that moment. I was surprised by how much Jack was opening up to me, it made my heart swell every time he shared something personal with me. 
This morning he told me that this is the happiest he’s ever been aside from his draft day. We were in the middle of a passionate exchange, it was rudely interrupted by Trevor who barged in and immediately upon noticing we were making out in bed, screamed and covered his eyes. This drew the attention of some of the others and suddenly there was a group of hockey players crowded outside the bedroom door. 
“Ew, could you guys make out somewhere private,” Luke groaned as he shielded his eyes with Trevor. 
“We were!” Jack shouted as he tossed a pillow at the door and yelled at his friends to get out of the room. As the door was closing Quinn gently reminded us that the boat would be leaving in 45 minutes for the day. 
“So much for our peaceful morning,” I muttered as I stretched out, now fully adjusting to being awake. Jack groaned unhappily next to me, I leaned over and pressed my lips to his once more. “We have to get up,” I mumbled against his lips. 
“Want to stay here with you,” Jack responded, holding me tightly against his body. 
“But the boat day,” I encouraged him. 
“Like you more than the boat,” Jack muttered as he chased my lips. 
“If we don’t get up they’ll just come back,” I pointed out. Jack sighed in response and threw the covers off both of us. Jack offered me his hand to help me out of bed as we both went about our business getting ready. I changed into a simple and respectable bikini that was a little hot for Jack but not too hot for his friends before throwing on some shorts and a tank top.
 When we were both ready, we made our way downstairs, hand-in-hand to grab some breakfast before heading out for the day. Jack had me sit at the island while he got my coffee ready and made me a plate of pancakes. Trevor told Jack how ‘whipped’ he was, which earned Trevor glares from both of us. Quinn smacked Trevor on the back of the head while he walked behind him to bring me an orange juice. I couldn’t help but smile at how sweet the Hughes’ boys were being to me, it’s like I’m part of the family. 
After a quick breakfast, Jack and I helped Quinn pack the cooler full of snacks before we made our way down to the boat. The boat was very impressive and could fit all of us with no trouble. Trevor and Luke snickered while Jack helped me with sunscreen, but quickly stopped laughing an hour later when they decided to put some on as well. The Michigan sun was beating down on us and I was absolutely loving lake life with Jack. The water was calm, the sun sparkled as it hit the blue lake. We were surrounded by lake houses, trees, and open water; this is the good life. 
We spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon out on the water. Drinking, wake surfing, eating, swimming, laughing, and having a good time. I grew more and more comfortable with Jack’s friends, my nerves had officially faded about getting to know them. To my surprise, Jack was very affectionate in front of his friends, constantly keeping me close throughout the day. We were either sitting together, sharing food, or I was in his lap enjoying myself. 
Jack definitely showed off when he was demonstrating wake surfing to me, throwing in a few special tricks. He offered me endless encouragement as I got out there myself to try it and even managed to stay up for a minute or so. While Jack was helping me back in the boat, he whispered ‘good girl’ in my ear, obviously gesturing to my first attempt at wake surfing. Those words made my legs weak as I got all warm and fuzzy inside. Coupled with his killer smile and his gorgeous blue eyes, Jack was really looking good out here in his element. 
Later in the day while we were relaxing and drying off in the sun, no longer zooming around on the boat, Quinn brought up the plans for the evening. He explained to the guys that they would be grabbing food at the pub before hitting up a party at a nearby lake house. Jack took the opportunity to tell me about the chicken he was marinating for tonight, which caught the attention of some of the guys. 
“Wait, why aren’t you coming to the party?” Cole questioned. 
“I’m cooking for Kira,” Jack responded simply. 
“Why aren’t you cooking for all of us?” Matty questioned. 
“I have a special night planned for us,” Jack explained. 
“So we’re not special?” Trevor asked, feigning hurt. 
“Kira is special in a different way,” Jack smiled as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I couldn’t help but blush as all the guys smirked at this gesture. 
“That’s his nice way of saying you aren’t special,” Quinn fired back at Trevor who immediately started bickering with the eldest Hughes brother. The bickering only ended when Quinn pushed Trevor into the lake, which started an all out war between the boys. Jack and I laughed from the sidelines as we took in this perfect day out on the water. 
Something about tonight felt different from our other dates. Like Jack was really putting in an effort to make tonight special. He had the meal all preplanned and was even sending his friends out so we could be alone. I was practically beaming in anticipation at the thought of uninterrupted alone time with Jack, we really didn’t have much of that recently. There’s something I definitely want to bring up to him if the time is right tonight…and I hope it is because I want Jack to be mine. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The blissful afternoon we shared on the glistening water came and went all too quickly. I wanted to stay wrapped in Jack’s arms on the boat forever as the rippling water rocked us gently. Before I knew it we were docking by the lake house once more and the guys were getting ready for their night out. Trevor was still whining about Jack kicking him out of the house for the evening, but no one else seemed to mind. 
I freshened up in Jack’s room after our long day in the sun. Quickly hopping in the shower as Jack got changed, I noticed his eyes lingering on my body as I gathered my clothes. His gaze was hot on my skin, sending tingles throughout my body. 
Deciding to tease him just a bit, I pretended that the knot in my bikini top was too hard for me to untie. As Jack’s fingertips fiddled with the knot his fingers touched brushed my skin, sending shivers down my spine. Once the knot was untied Jack held the strings for a moment, giving my hip a playful squeeze before letting me go. Sweetening the deal even more, I let the bikini top drop to the ground as my back was turned to him before grabbing my clothes and strutting to the bathroom. Smirking as I heard Jack let out an exasperated groan as I closed the door behind me, I got down to work, wanting to look fresh for my special evening with Jack. He kept mentioning that tonight was special, even though I didn’t know exactly why, I felt the same way. I could tell something special was going to happen tonight. 
After putting a few more soft curls in my hair I took a step back to look in the mirror. It was a simple but cute look, black romper that was a little low cut to give Jack a nice view, simple makeup and wavy hair. Smiling, I was happy with my work as I brushed my fingers on my romper to smooth it, letting out a shaky breath as I did so. Take a deep breath Kira and relax. This is Jack, he’s not going to hurt you like the other guys. Jack is different. I thought to myself as I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. Letting out another deep breath, I felt the butterflies fade. 
Stepping out of Jack’s room I closed the door gently as my feet padded softly on the floor. Gingerly making my way down the stairs I noticed there wasn’t anyone in the living room as I turned into the kitchen. Jack’s back was to me as he focused on something on the stove. He was wearing dark jeans and a black t-shirt, simple but incredibly hot on him. 
“Have the boys left?” I interrupted his focus as he glanced over his shoulder, gaze landing on me. A smile formed on Jack’s lips as his eyes flitted up and down my body, taking in my appearance. 
“They left 5 minutes ago baby,” Jack smiled through his teeth as he set down the spoon he was using to stir something. Jack strides over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist as his warm lips pressed to my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed as I took in his scent, somehow he always smells of sandalwood. “You look beautiful baby,” Jack complimented as he leaned back taking in my appearance once again. 
“Thanks Jacky,” I returned his smile as I gave his biceps a squeeze. My bottom lip pulled in between my teeth as I took in his look once more, his t-shirt accentuated his muscles in all the right way. I was on fire right now. Before I knew it, Jack was spinning me around and steering me towards one of the chairs at the island. Pulling out the chair, he gestured for me to take a seat, I smiled as he helped me into the stool and pushed me closer to the island. “What a gentleman,” I smirked as he made his way to the fridge. 
“Wine or beer Kira?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder as he held the door open. 
“Do you have Rosè?” I asked softly. 
“Do I have Rosè?” Jack snorted. “Of course I do, it’s your favorite,” he replied as he pulled out a bottle and set out for a glass. Jack was quiet as he went to the cabinet for a glass, I watched him intently, noticing that his hand shook as he pulled the glass from the cabinet. Shaking hands seemed out of character for him. 
He sweetly placed the glass of wine in front of me and placed a chaste kiss on my forehead before stepping away to return to the meal. He was laser focused on the pot on the stove as silence filled the room around us. Silence was so unusual for Jack, usually it was hard to get him to stop talking. His movements were jerky as he flung the fridge door open, pulling vegetables out left and right. A tomato slid from his fingers and bounced on the floor when he let out a ‘shit’ under his breath. Something was definitely up. 
“So what’s on the menu chef Jack?” I asked, trying to ease the tension that had built up quickly in the room. Jack didn’t answer me right away as he was searching the cabinets for a cutting board. Silence droned on, the only thing to be heard was the shutting of cabinets. “Jack?”
“Huh?” He questioned as I regained his attention. This was completely unlike him, he was usually so attentive to me while we were together. Something was up. 
“Okay, Jack come here a second,” I held out my hands for him as he dropped the cutting board on the counter for me and came to stand in front of me, his hands shaking as he laced his fingers with mine. “Jacky what’s going on?”
“Nothing, what do you mean?” He deadpanned, eyes darting around as he avoided my gaze. 
“Jacky, look at me,” one of my hands dropped his as I took his face in my hand gently, giving him no other option but to look at me. “You seem stressed, what’s going on?” I asked once more. His eyes shut, as he leaned into my touch. 
“Kira it’s nothing,” he brushed off again. 
“It’s so clearly not nothing Jack, you can tell me anything,” I encouraged as I stroked his cheek gently. His eyes opened and his gaze finally met mine. 
“Anything?”
“Anything Jacky.”
He let out a shaky breath before beginning, “I’m nervous I guess because I want tonight to be special.” 
Gently yanking him closer to me, his other arm wrapped around my waist. “Jacky, you have gone out of your way to make this whole trip special. Truly, you have been so attentive to everything I need. What is it about tonight?”
“I just has to be special,” he sighed. 
“Why? Are you nervous that I won't like the food?”
“No it’s not that, it’s…” he trailed off, seemingly searching his mind for the right words. I continued to stroke his cheek, offering him my silent but gentle reassurance. He has been such a rock for me, and has allowed me to feel safe opening up about so many things. I want him to feel the same way about me. It’s not too often I see a guy showing his emotions or his nerves. This is actually quite refreshing. “I’m nervous that I’m going to screw this up,” he blurted out suddenly. My eyes softened at his confession, love flooding my face as the middle Hughes boy gazed down at me. 
“Jacky, why do you think you’re going to screw this up?” I asked gently. 
“Kira, this is my first adult relationship. I haven’t ever had a serious girlfriend, you’ve been through so much and I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want to hurt you,” Jack confessed. My other hand dropped his as both my arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him even closer to me. 
“Jack, you are so incredibly caring, sensitive, and affectionate. You make me feel things that no one else ever has. I know you’re worried, and I was too but you make me feel safe.” Jack’s gaze softened as he looked down at me. 
“I do?”
“Yes Jack, you make me feel more safe than any relationship I’ve ever had. Just because you haven’t had a serious relationship, doesn’t mean you’re going to screw this up,” I explained as my fingers toyed with the ends of his hair. 
“You think so?” He questioned. 
“I can’t guarantee everything will be perfect but we’re so good together. You are so mature Jack, who cares that this is your first adult relationship.”
A smile danced across his lips at my words, “can I tell Quinn that you called me mature?” He joked as we both burst out in laughter. 
“I’ll tell him myself,” I teased as he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close. “Do you feel better?”
He nodded silently, “thank you,” he gave me a squeeze. 
“Always Jacky,” I smiled as I leaned into his embrace. We stayed like this for a few moments, reveling in each other's touch. “Now can I go back to something you said?” I broke the silence. “You said you’ve never had a serious girlfriend, is that what I am to you?”
Jack leaned back in my arms and studied my face, clearly trying to gauge my reaction. “Girlfriend?” He asked to which I nodded, teeth sinking into my bottom lip as I anticipated his response. “I would like you to be that, my girlfriend.”
I was quiet for a moment before a smile broke out on my lips, “really?” my voice filled with hope. 
“Kira, be mine, be my girlfriend,” Jack stated confidently, he definitely has his swagger back. Confident but not cocky. 
“Only if you’ll be my boyfriend Jacky,” I giggled. His signature smirk graced his face at my silly response. 
“That sounds like a fair deal,” he commented as he chased my lips. As he leaned in and our lips brushed each other’s he asked, “so you’re my girlfriend?”
“Yes,” I giggled as his breath danced against my skin. “And you’re my boyfriend?”
“Damn right,” he chuckled before finally planting his lips on mine. I melted into his warmth as our lips danced on one another’s. The kiss was hungry and passionate as the tension of everything that was unsaid over the past weeks was finally out in the open. Jack Hughes is my boyfriend, I thought as I smiled against his lips. This gave him the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue past my lips as he deepened the kiss. 
We broke apart when the kitchen timer started chiming, both so startled we practically jumped. I reluctantly let Jack go tend to the food, though I would be content spending the whole night wrapped in his arms, cuddling, amongst other things. 
“So, what’s on the menu boyfriend?,” the words dripped off my lips like velvet. Jack couldn’t hide the smile that was spread across his face. 
“Greek chicken, lemon roasted potatoes, and salad,” Jack listed as he checked on the dish in the oven and reset the timer before turning his attention back to the vegetables on the island that needed to be chopped. 
“That sounds amazing, my boyfriend is such a chef,” I teased as he tried to focus on the food in front of him. 
“No distractions or this will be a failed attempt at being a chef,” he smirked as he started cutting the tomato. 
“Need any help?” I asked, ready to rise from my stool. 
“No!” Jack practically shouted. “Tonight is all about you and how special you are, so stay relaxing,” his gaze was intense as he mentioned how special I am. I practically combusted right then and there at the intensity in his eyes. They were burning a hole in me, tonight definitely was special. 
“Well I am the luckiest girlfriend,” I smiled as I leaned back and sipped my wine. Jack in fact remembered my favorite brand. 
“I’d say I’m the lucky one,” he commented as he tossed the chopped tomatoes in a bowl.
I happily enjoyed the show as he literally waited on me for the rest of the evening. My wine glass never emptied, and when I wanted to move on to something else so I wasn’t drunk before the food came, he had sweet tea ready for me. As the evening went on, he lit candles that suddenly appeared on the island. I was surprised there were candles anywhere to be found in this lake house. When dinner was ready, I was beyond impressed at the caliber of his cooking skills. The meal was even better than the one I served him on our first date. 
The evening really did remind me of our first date as he cleaned up the meal and insisted I sit and relax. We’ve really come so far from that first date though. We barely knew each other then, but now it feels like I’ve known him forever. He’s my boyfriend and I’m his girlfriend. He’s mine and I’m his. I want tonight to be even more special. 
After dinner, we made our way to the couch in the living room as I settled in his arms. “You know, you really did make me feel special tonight,” I commented as I stared up at him. He met my gaze and smiled, giving my shoulder a squeeze as he did so. 
“Good, I wanted to. You deserve this all the time, you make me feel special all the time,” his voice dropped a few octaves as he shifted on the couch, pulling me even closer into his side. 
“You are special,” I licked my lips as I continued to stare into his eyes. His gaze is so intense, I felt my thighs squeeze together, desperate for some friction. Jack’s hand shifted from my shoulder to my thigh as my breath became so shallow it practically left my body. “Thank you for this whole night Jacky,” my voice shook as I spoke. 
“Anything for you pretty girl,” his voice so sweet it practically dripped honey. That was a first with that nickname and set fireworks off in my entire body. 
“You know, now that we’re official there is something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” a mischievous smile spread across my lips. 
“Oh yeah,” he leaned forward as his hand slid further up my thigh. 
“You look hot in that shirt,” I breathed out. The tension in the air was thick, palpable. 
“Do I?” He smirked as he leaned over me, his lips were close enough to feel their warmth. 
“Jacky,” I let out a whine. Need so deep within my body that I didn’t recognize it, my whole body was tingling. So sensitive that one touch might do me in. 
“Kira,” he teased as his tongue ran across his bottom lip. I let out a nervous breath, gathering whatever courage I needed. God, I felt like I was floating. 
“I need you,” as soon as the words left my lips Jack leaned into me with the most intense, earth shattering kiss I have ever experienced. He quickly pushed me back on the couch, settling on top of me as my thighs wrapped around his hips. Heat pooled within me as my desire grew even more for Jack.  A moan escaped my lips as he nipped at my lip, he was intoxicating. 
He settled more of his weight on me as I felt him brush against my core. “Jack!” I gasped as shocks ran through me. His fingers toyed with the strap of my romper, gently sliding it down my shoulder. My skin burned at his touch.  I never wanted this to end, I wanted his hands on my skin forever. 
Just as Jack started toying with my other strap, causing me to whimper, the back door to the lake house swung open quite aggressively. 
“Jack man, I need to use your shower,” Trevor exclaimed as Jack and I scrambled apart. Sitting up on the couch, I fiddled with the strap of my romper, making sure everything was back inside where it should be. Despite our disheveled appearance, none of the boys seemed any the wiser as they barged back into the lake house. 
“Why do you need my shower?” Jack questioned, his voice filled with annoyance at his friend's rude interruption. They were so oblivious to what they just barged into. 
“Cole spilled his beer on me when some girl puked on Quinn and Luke. So safe to say the showers will be occupied,” he explained as all the guys filed through the kitchen, some settling on the couches and some filing into the respective bathrooms. 
“Soo, how was dinner?” excitement filled Cole’s voice as he wiggled his eyebrows at us. Jack and I exchanged a heated look, Alex was turning on the tv as Matty was doling out the gaming controllers. Oh my gosh they’re never going to leave us alone. 
“Dinner was good, ya know, I was actually going to take Kira out for a boat ride,” Jack uttered as he reached for my hand and pulled me off the couch as he rose up. Smiling gratefully at him, we both started to scurry out of the living room. 
“But the sun is setting, why would you go out on the boat?” Brady questioned as some game was being fired up on the flatscreen. 
“Sunset tour,” Jack scrambled as we both stumbled to throw on shoes. Desperate for the touch of one another and nervous that the boys would follow once more. 
“Yeah, it’s going to be beautiful,” I proclaimed as I yanked the door open. 
“Gotta go, don’t want to miss it,” Jack called as he pulled the door closed behind him and wrapped his arm around me again.
 We practically sprinted off the deck and down the grass to the dock, still fearing that the boys would be behind us suddenly. We made it to the dock in no time as Jack and I started untying the ropes, luckily I had experience in this, so we could move things along more quickly. Jack hopped in the boat, reaching out his hand to help me in. 
Once I was settled in a seat, Jack got behind the wheel and fired up the engine. Not hesitating as he threw the boat in gear and sped away from the dock. My knee was bouncing as the water whipped past us, both of us clearing eager to resume our activities. “Don’t worry, I know a really secluded spot,” Jack commented as he glanced at me briefly. 
“Oh, do this often Hughes?” I teased at his comment, shifting forward in my seat. 
“No, god, no I—,” he stammered. My hand went to rest on his knee, squeezing a little. 
“Just hurry,” I instructed and hurry he did. It took us a few minutes but we made it to a quiet spot away from the other houses and the prying eyes of others. Jack shut off the boat, turned on the dim lights before coming to sit on the bench next to me. He slid his arm around my shoulder as I leaned into him, my head resting on the shoulder as we enjoyed the quiet nature surrounding us. 
“You know, we don’t have to do this,” his voice just above a whisper as we watched a duck swim by. 
Turning my head, I glanced up to read his expression. “Jack, I want to!”
“I just don’t want you to feel rushed, or pressured because we made it official tonight,” his gaze met mine as his blue eyes stared deeply into mine. A rush of warmth flooded through me, desire yes, but also a sense of safety and gratitude. 
“I don’t feel rushed at all Jack, I want this,” I gestured between us. “I want you.” His eyes darkened as our gaze remained interlocked. 
“If you’re sure,” he wondered out loud once more. I nodded eagerly as a smirk danced across his lips. His hand tangled in my hair as he pulled me in for a searing kiss. Lips locked in a heated make out session, only breaking apart as we both fumbled to pull Jack���s shirt over his head. 
His tongue quickly won the battle against mine as I moaned against his lips, pulling away for air, both huffing as I reached for the straps of my romper. Pulling the straps against my fingers and sliding them to the edge of my shoulders, I let them drop down. Getting bold, I stood up, letting the romper slide down my body as it pooled at my feet. Jack groaned as he pulled me back to the bench. 
“I like this,” he smirked as he ran his fingers along the lacy material of my strapless bra. His fingers brushed my skin as they slid around my back to unclasp the bra. The bra was pulled from my body as Jack let out a sharp breath. “Shit you are beautiful,” he whispered as he leaned forward to nibble on my neck. 
Sucking and nipping playful he trailed down my neck to my collar bone before licking my skin and taking his nipple in my mouth. Twirling his tongue around my nipple I threw my head back, a moan escaping me as he continued sucking my breast. His other hand slid up my stomach, before pinching my other nipple in his fingers. 
“Oh god Jack,” I whimpered as he continued licking and nipping my sensitive skin. “Don’t tease me,” I whined as my hand knotted in his hair. 
“Let me make you feel good baby,” his voice was soft yet full of desire. I nodded my head, wetness pooled in my core as he gently eased me onto my back on the bench, placing kisses on my chest and stomach as he slithered his way down my body. “Can I take these off?” He questioned as his fingers ghosted over my underwear, snapping the lacy strap against my skin. 
Nodding my head vigorously, I opened my legs to help him out. He chuckled lowly, “I need your words baby.” He continued to toy with the lace underwear as I squirmed underneath him. 
“Yes Jacky,” I whined as he finally hooked his thumbs under the material. Lifting my hips as he pulled the underwear down my legs, he didn’t let me settle after that. Sliding my legs over his shoulders he settled between my thighs, pressing gentle kisses to my sensitive skin. 
“Good girl,” his voice filled with pride as his breath ghosted over my sensitive core. 
“No teasing,” I warned as I leaned up on my elbows to make eye contact with him. 
“Not teasing,” he smirked. Before I could respond he wrapped his perfect lips around my clit and sucked gently. My arms went weak as I fell back and moaned. “That feel good baby?” 
“Yes,” I moaned out as he twirled his tongue around my sensitive bud. Wrapping his lips around it once more, he sucked harder as my eyes shut, bliss setting in. My hand laced through his hair as I tugged on his disheveled locks. “More Jack,” I moaned as his tongue dragged through my folds. 
“Tell me what you need baby.” 
All I could do was whimpered and writhe beneath him as his tongue toyed with my entrance. My grip on his hair tightened as his tongue prodded my sopping entrance, it’s been too long since someone has touched me like this. Every move of his tongue consumed me, I was floating in a haze of pleasure. I was drunk on Jack Hughes.
“Jack,” I cried out. He lifted his head as I whimpered as the loss of his mouth. 
“What do you need, baby? Want you to feel good,” he encouraged. 
“Your fingers,” I whined, desperate to feel him again. 
“My fingers,” he smirked up at me. 
“And that amazing tongue,” I breathed out as our eyes met for a second. He stared at me a moment longer before I gave him another tug on his hair. My legs quivered as I anticipated his burning touch on my skin. 
“Good girl baby,” he exclaimed before he dove back in, his tongue swirling around my clit again as one of his fingers teased my entrance. By this time I was practically dripping as he slid his finger into me and started thrusting. He moved his finger for a few moments before a second finger teased my hole. He pumped his fingers inside me before curling them in a way that made me see stars. 
“Jack,” I cried out as I arched off the bench, my other hand curling into his hair. Jack started pumping his fingers faster as he felt me squeeze around him, I wasn’t going to last much longer. He flattened his tongue against my clit and shook his head back and forth. “I’m close,” I whimpered as he gently nipped at my clit. 
“Let go baby,” he encouraged as I gripped his fingers like a vice. Heat was spreading through my whole body as tension built in my stomach like an elastic that was about to snap. All the sucking and the thrusting of his fingers was too much. Jack wrapped his fingers around my clit and sucked hard which sent me over the edge. Crying out his name as I grinded down against his fingers. My whole body was pulsing as I rode out my high, as he pumped his fingers a few more times before pulling them out. This was a state of bliss I have never felt before, no man has ever given me this attention, intent solely upon giving me pleasure. 
He licked his fingers clean of my juices as he settled between my thighs again. I whimpered at the sight and the loss of his touch. His forehead pressed to mine, “you taste amazing, good girl.”
“You’re amazing,” I exclaimed as my chest was rising as I caught my breath. Jack pressed his lips to mine, swirling his tongue with mine so I could taste my juices. “My turn,” I mumbled against his lips. 
“Baby I’m not going to last, need to be inside you,” as he pressed his lips to mine again. He pulled away to unbutton his jeans, quickly kicking them off with his boxers. His hard cock sprung up as he shed the last of his clothes. Licking my lips I took in his full appearance, he was big, but not aggressively so. Those thighs and his biceps, I was in pure heaven. 
“Wait, do you have a condom?” I paused, breaking away from the blissful dream I was living. His movements froze for a moment, his head dropped. 
“Shit!” He exclaimed. I groaned in frustration at the thought of this ending. 
“I suppose you don’t keep any on here?” I gestured to the boat. He shook his head in disappointment. We were both silent for a moment as he hovered over me. Neither of us moved as the tension stopped time. “Well, are you clean?” I asked, breaking the silence. 
“Am I clean?” He repeated, staring down at me. “Yes I am,” he responded hesitantly. 
I let out a sigh of relief, “So am I, so screw the condom.”
His eyes widened at my words, “Are you sure?” I nodded in response. “So I’ll have to pull out?” He asked. 
“I'm on the pill,” I reassured him. The fear and disappointment that had crept onto his face quickly melted away as a smile formed once more. He reached down and gave himself a few tugs, making sure he was ready. 
“Let's do this,” he settled between my thighs, running the tip of his cock through my folds. “Ready?” He paused as he took himself in his hand and prodded my entrance. 
“Yes Jacky,” I nodded as he slowly slid inside stretching my walls to their capacity. He went slowly as I gripped him tightly. Squeezing my eyes shut I let out a shaky breath, trying to relax as he bottomed out. 
“You okay,” he paused his movements. 
“Yeah, just been a while,” I whimpered as he filled me to the core. His movements remained halted as his hand slid between us and his fingers began toying with my clit. Quickly the pain of being so full turned into a searing pleasure as I moaned at his ministrations. “You can move,” I breathed. Jack pulled out before rolling his hips against mine, resuming his movements. His hands rested on my hips as he thrusted into me, fingers pressing crescents into my skin as I gasped. 
“Shit Kira,” he groaned as I clenched around him. He snapped his hips harder, sliding me back on the seat. My head was now hanging off the edge of the bench as Jack pounded into me, skin slapping against skin as he moved me further off the bench with each thrust of his hips. 
My neck was not enjoying this angle, as my hand found his chest and pushed against him. “Stop!” I said gently. His movements froze instantly. 
“Did I hurt you?” Nerves filled his voice as I lifted my head to meet his eyes. 
“No Jack! You feel amazing, this isn’t working for my neck though.”
“Oh shit, you’re like half off the bench,” he commented as he finally took in the full extent of the force his thrusts had. 
“Why don’t you take a seat,” I suggested as my hand pushed against his chest more firmly. He pulled out as I drew my legs closer to my chest and sat up. He sat back against the bench, thighs splaying open. Grabbing onto his shoulders, nails scraping his skin as I swung my leg over his lap so I was straddling him. Rolling my hips against his, we both let out a moan. 
“No teasing,” he whined. Smiling at the effect I had on him, I reached down between us and lined his cock up with my entrance. I finally sink down on him as a moan escapes my parted lips. A groan escapes Jack as I start grinding against his pubic bone. Gently rocking my hips, twisting them in a circle as I envelope him within my velvety walls. 
I lift myself up, sliding down as I start to bounce on his cock, he slides into me deeper at this angle. My hands rest on his chest as I rock myself back and forth. My eyes roll back as our skin slaps against each other gasping in pleasure. 
“Doing so good,” Jack whispers as his fingers palm at my ass. My pace quickens as I feel myself squeeze around him at the sound of his praise. 
“Jack, fuck,” I cry out as I bounce up and down. “I’m not going to last long.” My legs start to ache from my movements as the knot in my stomach grows tighter. Jack plants his feet on the floor, lifting his hips to meet mine. 
“So good, fuck,” he breathes out as I squeeze him harder. “Such a good girl.” The pressure grows more intense as I feel him twitch inside me, “you like that don’t you?” He asks as I let out another gasp. 
“Jack,” I cried as he plowed into me, my hips rocking harder against his. Leaning my head down I capture his lips in mine as his finger snakes around my waist and starts rubbing circles on my clit. The pressure builds as I squeeze around Jack. I sink my teeth into his lip as I clench harder. 
“Come on baby,” Jack encourages as he rocks his hips up to meet mine. My legs start shaking as I stop my movements, my breath hitching as Jack continues to pound into me. My orgasm hits me like a freight train as I drop my head against Jack’s shoulder. He lets out a strangled groan as he rocks against me a few times before I feel his warmth fill me up. Slowly his hips drop as I drop back into his lap, he presses soft kisses against my neck as we both struggle to catch our breath. 
“That was—,” I trail off, still blissing out from my high. 
“Fucking amazing,” Jack whispers in my ear, giving me a playful nip on my earlobe. We both stay wrapped around each other, as he stays inside me until we fully catch our breath. “Here baby, my good girl,” he helps me off my lap, I whimper as he pulls out and stands up. He walks to the adjacent bench, lifting the seat and rustling around, he pulls out a towel and comes back. Spreading my thighs gently as he runs the towel along our juices that are dripping out of me, cleaning up the mess we made. 
Once he’s done cleaning me up he tosses the towel to the side, grabbing a fresh towel. He sits down on the bench and pulls me into his lap, draping the towel over the two of us. “I’m so glad you could come see the lake house,” he whispers before pressing a soft kiss to my temple. 
“Me too,” I whispered softly, wrapping my arms around his waist. 
“Do you want to head back?” 
“No, want to stay like this for a while,” I nuzzled closer to him as I took in the night sky that was enveloping us. Pressing a kiss to my temple, he pulled me in closer as we snuggled and watched the stars. Truly appreciating the calmness of the nature around us as the gentle waves caused the boat to sway ever so slightly. 
I truly was glad I could make the trip down here to see Jack’s lake. This was a place he absolutely loved and I was so grateful to share that experience with him. We both clearly loved lake life in the summer, I feel so honored that he shared his favorite place with me as I had shared mine. To think that yesterday I was a nervous wreck in the airport wondering what our relationship was. Now we’re sitting here under the stars, and I can officially say that Jack Hughes is my boyfriend. As hesitant as I was when I first met him, I am so happy that I pushed through those nerves and put my heart first. He may just be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. 
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Dishes Vs. Laundry Headcanons (TF141 + Alex)
Based off the theory that every couple has someone who prefers doing laundry while the other prefers dishes. NOT an x reader HC list
| Blog HQ | Modern Warfare Masterlist | Modern Warfare 2 Masterlist | Ghosts Version | Taglist Open |
Amazing at fitting all the dishes into the dishwasher.
Soap // Dishes
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Not to mention it takes care of all the work for his dishwasher safe items (95% of his kitchen)
The other 5% (all his cutlery - somehow he ended up with all handwash only) is washed and drying in under 10 minutes.
Side note: he runs out of forks the quickest and can't quite figure out why.
Then it's waiting for the dishwasher to be done, the dishes to be dried and quickly putting them away.
Gets so, so sick of the guys making jokes about his codename in regards to this.
The first time was funny, the 10th time gets you a soaked shirt and Scottish swear words.
Doesn't hate laundry necessarily, but definitely not big on folding his clothes.
He just kind of accepts the fact that they're going to get wrinkles.
Accepts the fact that he'll be ironing his clothes for the rest of his life.
"Can't let those lessons from Ma go to waste"
Has, on more than one occasion, started doing his bedding in the morning and forgot about it until he was ready to sleep for the night.
Something about the meticulous process with sorting, folding, and putting away clothes just clicks with him.
Ghost // Laundry
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Always sorts whites from colours
Has a seperate hamper by the washer for towels
Folds everything (even the underwear) into small little bundles when he packs for a trip or work.
Soap's entire worldview on laundry stresses him out a bit. Adding steps to a chore you already don't like?
Why
WHY
Not a fan of doing dishes. Somehow finds it more repetitive, time-consuming, and soul crushing.
Has thrown out 2 plates in his life because he couldn't be bothered with washing them
Has also genuinely contemplated Soap as a housemate when doing dishes.
"Solving each other's problems"
Has an expansive plastic cutlery collection.
Not even the type you'd buy in a large bulk pack from the store; but like cutlery, you get from takeout.
Argues that it's amazing for on the go lunches (you toss it out) and uses the forks to stir his coffee in the morning.
I would be lying if I told you this man hasn't thought of buying bulk everything to last him a month just so he doesn't have to clean.
Price // Neither, but does them anyway
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Except Ghost pointed out that the bulk underwear would itchy, and Laswell refused to let him use her Costco card for this.
Not that he's messy or gross - no, no.
He is a rather clean guy but absolutely hates the process of getting there. It's mundane. It's exhausting.
Has walked by the washing machine, full of laundry he's waiting to swap over and muttered "fuckin' hell" when he realized it's not done yet.
Glares into the cupboard when he realizes his favorite mug is dirty, promptly glares at the mug for being dirty.
Then internally complains the entire time he's washing the thing. Despite having many other, perfectly suitable mugs in your cupboard. John.
He has the utmost pride in his appearance and is fairly meticulous about the care of his clothes.
Gaz // Laundry
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It helps that his dad was the same way in his youth and taught him all the tricks to keeping things bright, getting stains out, and having the nicest smelling laundry.
Happily gives this advice out to his teammates and friends (no, I'm not doing your laundry for you. Wankers)
While doing dishes is sort of the same concept (different care needs for different things), he finds it too much of a pain when cooking.
As Kyle is the "seven knives" meme.
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Yeah.
It also doesn't help that he always organizes the cupboards and drawers before all the dishes are done
Then, he has to start re-doing everything when he runs out of room for bowls.
Which typically ends up in the surplus of clean dishes stacked neatly on the counters or table.
Not by concious choice
Alex // Says he doesn't mind either, but it's actually neither
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He truly doesn't mind either. he's just too much of a free spirit about it.
I'm talking: "eh, I'm fine to do it on the weekend"
Then, realizes he has one set of clean boxers left on a random Wednesday night.
Or forgets the clean laundry in the washer until it gets a weird smell and needs to be rewashed
Kyle had no other advice other than:
Just don't forget it in there then???
The same goes for the dishes in the dishwasher (minus the weird smell)
80/20 split on dishes, though (clean, sitting in the dishwasher)
80% of the time, he'll grab whatever dishes he needs for meals or cooking from the dishwasher as he goes.
20% of the time, he'll take everything out and put it away.
100% of the time, he promises himself to get the entire process done in one day (then 80% of the time forgets)
Taglist (all content): @bloodonmyhands-1221 @v1naco @bowtruckleninja
Taglist (Alex content): @glitterypirateduck @deadbranch @gcing-back-to-505
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jazzytrait · 1 year
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I'm drinking and rambley so how about a non-sims, Jazzy-gives-advice-no-one-asked-for post? No? We're doing it anyway!
So, my friend just told me about another friend of hers who has been asking her for money on the regular and I had to tell her this story because it's...
a lesson I had to learn the hard way:
Story time! Once upon a time I had a close friend. We'd known each other for years. When he finally moved out of his parents' house he had no end of financial trouble.
(This is gonna get long and rambley... so adding a cut)
Now, I'm no stranger to that... I'm disabled and have no college degree. I've struggled to make ends meet my whole life. I have gotten very good at churching up ramen noodles and rice/bean dishes. For reference: I've been under or only slightly over the poverty line for the majority of my life. Sucks when you feel like you're making a little progress and then they take away your health insurance because you made $1k more a year. (and I have to have my medications, so forgoing medical treatment is not an option)
Anyway, my friend got into a bind when he quit a job because the manager was rude to him. He was slightly younger than me and new to "real life", so I gave him a pass. Life is rough and adjusting is hard. I helped him out with a couple hundred dollars that I barely had because that's what friends do, right? Right.
A couple months later, I found out that instead of paying his rent with that money he had taken his gf out to dinner a few times and now he was getting kicked out. Luckily, he was living with roommates and it wasn't an actual eviction. But he did have to find somewhere new to live. He asked to come stay with me and I had to decline because my place was extremely tiny (300sq ft) and I didn't even have a couch for him to surf on.
He found someone else to couch surf with rent free until he could find another job and another place. He kept talking about all the job hunting and how hard it was. A few months later his gf confessed to me that he hadn't been looking or putting in applications because he thought he deserved more money than the going rate for his education level (no hs diploma or GED). His friend eventually kicked him out and he found ANOTHER place to couch surf. He did eventually take another job.
A few months later he was in trouble again because he had to go to the doctor and was short on rent. My other friend helped him out with some money. This time he spent it on his rent. But lo and behold, the next month he said he needed help again. A different friend helped him out with some more money. The next day he, I and his gf were online together gaming in Discord. He said "brb I'm gonna order some food". He ordered $60 of sushi for he and his gf to split (she didn't work btw, so he paid). I asked him "Didn't [friend] just lend you money for your rent? Why are you ordering sushi?" and he replied "All I have is sandwich stuff and I don't feel like eating a sandwich". This was the first time that red flag really went up for me, even though it should have been sooner.
It continued this way. Every month he had some new sob story of why he needed money from people and even though our friend group had long since ceased helping him, he always found someone new to help him out (he was charming and had a knack for making friends and sounding genuine).
He went through job after job. He'd quit after a month or so because he didn't like the work or didn't like his boss or didn't make enough money (which... any money is better than no money). I'm not saying that adult life isn't soul-crushing. It is and it sucks, but we do what we have to do to survive. To him, he was victim forced to do something he didn't want to do and so he refused to do it. He had a million and one excuses for how his joblessness and constant need for assistance wasn't his fault.
One time, I was in town visiting and we met up to get a burger. I offered to split the bill and he said after we'd already eaten "Oh, I don't have any money". I bit my tongue and paid because it was too late anyway. Afterwards, as we were walking back out through the mall he said he wanted to stop and look in a couple stores. He asked me to buy him things three separate times. I declined because I could barely afford my own rent and expenses and I worked my ass off to get what little I had. He was pretty frustrated by my refusals and even called me "stingy".
To this day (5 years later) he is famous amongst our friends for always asking for money, always spending it carelessly and then just asking people for more... he doesn't have to work his ass off because people keep giving him things to the point that now if you say "no" to him he gets offended and feels entitled to whatever money you have.
The moral of the story is: One time is a mistake. Twice is a pattern. Three times is a problem. Some people can't be bothered to help themselves as long as others are willing to prop them up and do it for them. Don't get suckered into every sob story you hear and feel obligated to help. We want to be good people and helping out isn't wrong. Help should be available to people in times of crisis... but keep an eye out for the ones who seem to always need help. Some people are very good liars.
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un-pearable · 3 years
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“most famous hedgehog in the world” remains my favorite sonic tag line of all time - who is he competing against? this king just declared himself the most famous and not a single person - sorry, hedgehog - has stepped up to challenge him? where is my underdog story??
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Undercover- Mob! Steve Rogers Part 2
Okay here is the highly requested part two to my Mob! Steve post! I had some technical difficulties posting it but hopefully you guys see it in the tags now :)
Warnings: swearing and smut
Word count: 2.8k
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“When I said go undercover, I didn’t mean under his covers, Agent.” Director Fury slammed his hand down on his desk. It had now officially been twenty-four hours since your encounter with the mob boss and you had been waiting anxiously all day to talk with Nick Fury. The rumor around the office all day was that he wasn’t too pleased with how things went down.
“I did what I had to do, sir.” You stated boldly.
Fury scoffed but didn’t respond.
He was quiet for a moment, his eye scanning over the piece of paper in his hand. You fidgeted uncomfortably as your legs were still sore from your romp last night and you tried to hold it together as Fury gave you a weird look.
“Just sit down, Y/N.”
You muttered a thank you as you took a seat.
“Listen, this is all good and fine but I want more. This,” He waved the note in his hand. “Is just a drug felony. I want this bastard put away for life.”
“But what about Stark?”
“A slippery politician, nothing more. I want insight on just more than this. I want it all.”
You sat back in the chair. You understood where he was coming from, but he was also acting like you hadn’t just uncovered a huge piece of information.
“Sir-”
“Which is why you’re going to continue...seeing Rogers. Your undercover assignment has just been extended until further notice.”
“But, sir!” You stood up in protest.
“But nothing, Agent. You’ve made your bed and you’ve already lied in it. Now do it again.” He snapped.
“Are you pimping me out, sir?”
“You did that yourself, Y/N.” Fury snarked. “Anyway, as we speak I have other agents creating an entire new identity for you on the internet so when Roger’s does eventually look you up he’ll find everything we want him to find.”
You felt yourself sinking back down into the chair. He was being completely serious. You suddenly felt very hot as you processed all the information coming at you.
“And what exactly is it going to say?”
“That you are Y/N Monroe. You are the same age as you are now and a barista at the coffee shop just below your apartment. You went to the University of Minnesota and graduated with a business degree, but currently can’t find any jobs. Pity. Your parents died when you were young and you have no siblings-no need to wrap anyone else up in this. We’ve made an Instagram account since that seems to be the most popular app among adults your age. I pushed for no socials but apparently it’s weirder if you don’t have one.”
“Okay...but I don’t have a coffee shop below my apartment.”
“You do now. Your stuff is being moved into a safe house apartment on the other side of town. That’s where you’ll be staying for now. Don’t worry, I have Parker holed up in the apartment two doors down.”
You bit the inside of your cheek to try to calm down. There was nothing else you could do. Fury was right, you had made your bed. You reached over and grabbed the file that Fury had pushed towards the front of the desk. Your new life all put together in a Manila folder.
Damn you, Ma and your slutty advice.
“You can go now.” Fury waved you away, now totally focused on whatever file he had in front of him. You hesitated, wanting to say something but nothing came so you left.
“Y/N!” Peter ran up beside you as you stormed down the hallway. “Heard we’re gonna be neighbors.”
You smiled at how excited he was. “It’s only temporary, Parker. Don’t wet your pants.”
Peter blushed and gently shoved you to the side as you both continued walking. “I know that. But doesn’t mean it won’t be fun. We could have movie nights or something.”
“I suppose we could find some time.” You nudged him back.
“Oh here, before I forget.” Peter shoved a brand new iPhone into your hand. “Fury had me add some tweaks to the geo location so it’s more precise than what Apple has. My burner number is already programmed in there too.”
You studied the burner phone, impressed that they didn’t just give you another shitty tracfone like you were used to.
“Thanks, kid.”
“I’m not that much younger than you.” Peter grumbled as the two of you finally made it to the parking structure.
You smirked over your shoulder as you walked up to your Jeep Wrangler. “Young enough. ‘Night, kid!”
Peter flipped you off but was smiling the whole time as you drove off.
You punched in your new address in the GPS and followed along as it brought you to the older part of town. You had always loved this part of the city but never thought to move out here. Even though it wasn’t the new upcoming neighborhood, the rent prices had been driven up by the young kids moving in who just “adored the old time aesthetic” and the lofted buildings.
Your building was one of those you noted as you parked your car outside of your new address. The old brick building was tall, maybe six stories and had fire escapes littered across the front of it. The front door was a rusted green that you had to yank to budge to get open.
Extra security, I suppose. You laughed to yourself.
Your apartment was on the third floor and right off the freight elevator. You weren’t expecting much when you opened the door but you made a noise of pleasant surprise when you did.
The inside was warm and inviting. A plush gray sofa that resembled a cloud was center in your living room that you saw right away from the small entry hallway. As you stepped in further you saw a decent size tv mounted against the wall and two bookshelves on either side of it, filled with books and records that went along with the record player that was right underneath the television. To the left the living room was the kitchen. Nothing big, which you didn’t mind-you weren’t the best cook in the world. There was a small bar-like counter that had two barstools perched underneath. Down the small hallway you found your bedroom. A king sized bed covered in an off white comforter set with matching sheets. Small potted plants hung from the corner near the window and an array of makeup and perfumes littered the top of the wooden dresser.
Tentatively you opened the dressers to find a whole new wardrobe waiting for you. There were basics: such as t-shirts, jeans, bras and panties but there was also a whole drawer dedicated to skimpy lingerie that you knew was expensive. The walk-in closet was filled with dresses, some formal and some you wouldn’t let your grandmother even see hanging off the rack.
“Well done, Fury.” You mumbled to yourself as your fingers ran down the silk fabric of a long evening gown.
You were settling on to your couch, sweats on and a glass of wine in your hand when you heard a knock on the door. Slowly you got up, grabbing your gun from the plant next to the door. You looked through the peephole and let out a curse when you saw none other than Steve Rogers standing outside your apartment.
You shoved the gun back into the plant and ran your fingers through your hair before opening the door, but leaving the chain attached.
“Mr. Rogers, how can I help you?” Your eyes twinkled as the man in front of you rested his arm on the top of the door frame and leaned close to the opening you had created.
“You said I would see you soon, princess. Looks like soon is now.” The nickname again caused your stomach to flutter.
“I was just getting ready for bed. You’ll have to come by another time.” You feigned a yawn. Steve’s eyes blared as he stood up straight.
“It’s rude to keep your guests waiting, Miss Monroe.” Your heart jumped at the use of your alias. Thank god your team worked fast.
“And it’s rude to show up to people’s apartments unannounced, Mr. Rogers.”
“Open the door, sweetheart.” He hissed, but his eyes held anything but anger. He was intrigued. He never found a woman before who wasn’t afraid to dish back his sass. He wasn’t sure if he liked it or not.
“Say please.” You teased through the opening.
“Please.” He said through gritted teeth.
Chuckling you closed the door gently and undid the chain. Before you could reopen it though, Steve pushed his way through scooping you up in his arms as he did. You naturally wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms held tight around him as you squealed against his neck.
He walked you back into the living room and plopped down on the couch, holding you so you were still straddling him.
You pulled away but kept your arms hanging loosely around him. He smirked up at you as his fingers toyed with the hem of the tank top you had on. His eyes fell to the wine that was only half drank on your coffee table.
“Heading off to bed soon, huh?”
“My bedtime snack.”
There was a part of your brain that recognized him for who he was: evil. But another part of your brain saw him as the man who made your body feel things that it had never felt before and that had your heart racing like a schoolgirl with a crush. The part that recognized that he was so easy to talk and joke with. The great sex wasn’t a bummer either.
His smirk was replaced by a genuine smile as he pulled you down and gave you a kiss that had your toes curling. He moaned into your mouth as you slowly ground your hips against his, your fingers tugging at the hair by his neck. His tongue massaged yours, letting you know exactly who was in charge at this moment. His hands ran underneath your tank top, fingers tracing up your spine before reaching the front and giving your nipples a slight twist.
He moved his mouth from yours and peppered kisses along the side of your neck as he lifted the tank top over your head. He threw it to the side as his mouth attached to your protruding bud while his fingers pinched and toyed with the other one. Skillfully, and with his mouth still attached to you, Steve flipped you over so your back was on the couch and he was on top of you. He lifted his head, his blue eyes clouded with lust as he started kissing down from the center of your chest, down your stomach and down your legs as he pulled your sweats along with him.
He hummed as he spread your bottom lips apart with his fingers, licking a stripe from your hole to your clit. You wiggled your hips against his face but he responded with a smack against your core.
“Honey, you gotta learn who’s in charge here and who’s-“ he kissed your clit ever so slightly, teasing you. “Just a little cock slut.”
His tongue circled over your bundle of nerves while fingers toyed with your slick. Gently he pushed two fingers into your pussy. Your eyes fluttered closed as his steady rhythm and flick of his tongue brought your orgasm to the forefront.
“Shit, Steve…” you whimpered, gripping his hair and pulling him close. “Oh fuck, I’m close!”
“Let me taste you, princess.” Steve growled. You nearly lost it at the sigh of your juices dripping from his chin. “Give it to me like the good girl you are.”
“Oh god!” You called out as he hit that spongy spot that caused your thighs to tighten around his head. Your body spasmed as it rode out your orgasm. Your chest heaving and your legs shaking as he slowly pulled his fingers from you. A moan was caught in your throat as you watched him put his soaked fingers between his lips, a look of pure satisfaction covering his perfect face.
Steve leaned his body over yours but careful not to let his full weight fall on you. He ran his nose up the side of your neck, along your cheek before letting it rub against your own. You grabbed his neck, pulling him into a deep kiss. There was something so erotic about tasting yourself when your tongues met.
“Show me your bedroom?” Steve pulled away. You gave a weak nod. Steve stood up and hoisted you up, your legs weak beneath you.
“Poor baby.” He cooed in your ear. “Only one orgasm down and already can’t walk. I can’t imagine how you’ll be when I’m done with you.”
With that he lifted you and walked down your short hallway to the bedroom. In your hazy, post orgasm mind you hoped the mattress was comfy. You hadn’t even tested out beforehand.
Steve threw you on the bed and you sighed as you fell into the cloud. You leaned back on your elbows and watched as Steve unbuttoned the new shirt and trousers he had on. You stifled your laughter thinking about the wine stained ones back at his house.
“Something amusing to you, sweetheart?” He grabbed your ankle and pulled you towards the end of the bed. He lifted your foot up, setting it over his shoulder as he kissed the inside of your calf.
“No, sir.” You teased.
“You’re a bad liar.” He nipped at your knee.
Not as bad as you might think.
Steve made you come at least four more times that night. Your body completely spent when he finally rolled over and laid next to you, yours and his body covered in a thin sheen of sweat.
You rolled over and threw your leg and arm over his body, nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck. Steve’s fingers toyed with yours as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“Spend the night?” You asked into the darkness. It was nearly three in the morning and your eyes were slowly closing no matter how much you willed them to stay open.
“I have some business things that I have to take care of early in the morning.” He answered, his fingers running up and down your arm.
“Oh, okay.” You said sadly. Steve’s chest rumbled with light laughter as he brought your hand that was in his up to his lips and gave it a kiss. You were soon realizing that he was actually a very affectionate person.
“But I want you to come back to the house tomorrow. I’ll send one of my guys for you in the afternoon.”
“Really?” You sat up. Steve blindly reached for your nightstand and turned on the lamp that was on it. His hair was tousled from the numerous times you had run your fingers through it and his lips were red and swollen. He looked like the epitome of sex and it was fucking hot.
“Yes, really.” He chuckled. He grabbed your phone that was on the nightstand and held it out for you to unlock. You did quickly and he took it back and started typing. “I don’t give out my personal number to a lot of people.”
“So I’m special.” You wiggled in your spot, a grin covering your face.
“Yes. You are.” Steve looked back at you and you were taken aback by the sincerity in his tone. He handed your phone back to you and you laughed at the name he had for his contact: Steve Rogers and an eggplant emoji.
“You’re a child.” You giggled.
Steve rolled his eyes and got out of bed and you took the time to appreciate his bum as he walked over to get his pants.
You gathered the soft sheets in your hand and brought them up to your chest. Although you weren’t sure what you were trying to hide, he had seen it all.
Once he was dressed and you slipped on a robe that you found hanging behind the door, you walked him out. He stood in your doorframe, his large figure making the space seem very small. He smiled as he tucked a loose piece of hair behind your head and leaned down and gave you a kiss.
“Make sure to lock all the doors behind me. And text me when you wake up tomorrow.” He demanded softly.
“Mmmkay, I will.” You said hazily.
“Go get some sleep, princess.” He laughed as he pushed away from the door and walked to the elevator. You watched as he got in and gave you a quick wave before whipping out his phone to make a call.
Once he was out of sight you closed the door softly, making sure to bolt everything before heading back to your bed. You were too tired to even clean up before you passed out.
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selfdestructivecat · 2 years
Note
May I ask for headcanons for Phoenix and Apollo? 🙏 While I'd love to see some for Phoenix and Trucy, the 1st one sparks my curiosity just a bit more.
Oooooh this dynamic is just a whole bag a feelings!
(And if you wanna ask about Phoenix and Trucy, feel free to do so in another ask if you'd like! I also adore the two of them!)
These headcanons contain MAJOR spoilers for AA4 (Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney), so if you haven't played the game yet for some reason, DO IT!
Realistic Headcanon: Mr. Wright absolutely sees Apollo as his son. He sees all of the Wright Anything Agency's members as his children (Trucy being his actual daughter and Athena being the same in all but legality), but Apollo was his first employee, and he has a soft spot for the grumpy young attorney. He hated tricking Apollo, of acting aloof and cryptid towards a kid who just had his world shattered, but he was terrified of such a bright kid's future being tarnished by him getting close to the disgraced attorney.
When Phoenix got his badge back, he allowed himself to get closer to Apollo, to give him genuine advice and dish out praise. And he can tell how Apollo practically preened under the praise, how he starved for it like a man who had never recieved a single compliment in his life. He saw the hurt Apollo carried with him, memories of a past too painful to recall, and Mr. Wright wanted to press and comfort but he refrained. It wasn't his place. He wasn't actually Apollo's dad.
But even so, he promised himself to look after the younger man. He had a bad habit of getting attached, and this was no exception.
(More Headcanons Below!)
Unrealistic (but hilarious) Headcanon: Apollo and Trucy, despite the huge age gap and their different genders, look terrifyingly similar. The have the same eyes, same facial structure (Apollo's jawline may be slightly sharper, but there's still definitely some softness that he is slightly insecure about), and, when Apollo's hair is down, it looks very similar to Trucy's own bangs. Of course, given their wildly differing personalities and attire, no one has ever confused the two.
Except one person. Phoenix Wright.
It was an otherwise uneventful morning, Apollo's coffee growing cold as he typed frantically on his laptop. He had joined Trucy and Athena on the couch in the Agency's lobby, their chatting softened by the exhaustion of the early morning and serving as pleasant background noise while Apollo worked. He didn't even look up when Mr. Wright arrived, eyes so bleary it was a wonder he was able to see at all. He knew that Mr. Wright had pulled an all-nighter trying to figure out the mystery behind the Agency's latest case, so him coming to work an hour late was understandable.
What was slightly less understandable was when Phoenix leaned over him and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head, a familiar gesture Apollo had often seen him do to Trucy. Except he wasn't Trucy. He was Apollo Justice, and any lingering exhaustion he had felt was long-gone.
Mr. Wright was quick to realize his mistake, his gaze turning to the real Trucy and Athena, who were both looking at the scene with their jaws on the floor. He sheepishly turned to Apollo, apologizing as he turned to give Trucy her intended kiss. The spell was suddenly broken, Apollo's face turning as red as his suit as the girls finally burst out laughing, Athena jokingly asking Mr. Wright for her good morning kiss. He did humor her, pressing a kiss to her temple after Trucy, much to their delight and Apollo's mortification.
He had expected (hoped) for that to be the end of it. But it wasn't.
He could excuse the next few times as a mistake, where Phoenix would ruffle his hair or press his lips to his head or call him "sweetie" or "kiddo". But then it started happening when Apollo knew Mr. Wright was fully aware, where his hair was spiked up and his demeanor nothing like the young magician and where Mr. Wright had already addressed him by his proper name. But still the gestures wouldn't stop, and while Apollo wouldn't say that he hated them (not that he would admit it even with his life on the line), it felt entirely unprofessional and mortifying.
The others were having the time of their lives, especially Phoenix. After all, as I mentioned before, he sees Apollo as a son. While the gestures are teasing, the love and affection behind every action couldn’t be more real.
Heart-Crushing and Awful Headcanon: Apollo admires and respects Mr. Wright immensly (maybe the latter slightly less after their first meeting, given his demeanor, but that rebuilt itself once he got his badge back), but he never fully trusts him. The bloody ace was something that was never brought up again after Apollo's debut, but the resentment lingered, simmering like butter melting in a pan until the bottom was coated black. This lack of trust wasn't obvious, and it certainly wasn't something Apollo advertized, but Mr. Wright is perceptive.
Phoenix desperately wanted to apologize, to explain the actions that he took during that day. He wanted his protege to look up to him and believe in him the same way he believed in his clients. He wanted Apollo to look at him and for there to be none of that lingering hurt that the young man seemed to carry with him everywhere.
He wanted to explain the Card. Or rather, he wanted to explain the Replica.
He wanted to explain how the evidence wasn't used correctly, how it was never meant to be a substitute for the real thing, only a hypothetical. He wanted to explain the misunderstanding, of the failure to explain both on his part and on Trucy's.
(Something he would never, not in a million years, fault her for. She was still so young, despite her maturity, and he never should have involved her in something so dire in the first place. Damn those puppy-dog eyes and her giant heart.)
He wanted to explain how everything had been taken care of, how the current Chief Prosecutor was, for once in his life, lenient, allowing the mistake to be erased from Apollo's record. He wanted to do something, literally anything, to get rid of the guilt the kid obviously still carried from that trial, even if doing so meant giving him reason do doubt his very capabilities as a lawyer.
It would mean transfering the blame from himself to Apollo, who despite his stubborn and confident front still struggled with his own securities and a staggering inferiority complex, and to Trucy, whose smile hides so much pain that it makes him want to cry.
But Phoenix would never put that kind of blame on Apollo, and he would die before his daughter felt even a sliver of the guilt he carried with him everyday. He cared about them both too much. He refused to be selfish.
Maybe one day he would tell Apollo, when the incident was far behind them and the fledgeling lawyer grew into his own. But for now, Apollo's distrust was a burden he was willing to bear. He deserved it, after all.
(This headcanon is from a fic I’ve read that I stupidly forgot to bookmark. If anyone knows what fic it is, I would be so grateful!)
Unrealistic Headcanon that will probably never happen: I mentioned before in a previous ask that I headcanon that Apollo knows how to play piano. It's something he's a bit out of practice with, given how he didn't have as much time to practice with law school and his job under Kristoph Gavin, but he still loves playing. And when he saw the giant piano buried under various stage props and bills, he couldn't resist.
Whenever Trucy and Mr. Wright were gone, Trucy either at school or performing at the Wonder Bar (and wait... is that a pun!?!?) and Mr. Wright doing whatever it was he did during the Seven Year Gap, Apollo would hesitantly make his way towards the piano and play. It became a respite for him during this tumultuous time in his life, with all the confusion of his new job, his confusing interactions with Mr. Wright, and whatever was going on with that glimmerous fop of a prosecutor.
Surprisingly, it's Phoenix who catches him in the act and not Trucy. Apollo is mortified and slightly terrified when he sees Mr. Wright quietly listening, but his embarrased rambling is cut off when he sees Phoenix looking at him with more genuine emotion than he had ever seen. Wright doesn't make any cryptid one-liner or snarky comment, instead simply telling Apollo that he was allowed to use the piano anytime. Obviously, Apollo played much better than he did, and the Agency could use a reprieve from his own amateur playing.
And so Apollo did, occasionally playing when his workload felt too overwhelming or his thoughts were too loud. And every time, without fail, the Agency would fall silent, letting only the beautiful notes linger through the air. Even Trucy and Athena would be without words, saving their teasing about Apollo's hobby for later time.
And every single time, without fail, Mr. Wright would applaud his performance.
Ahhhhhhhh THESE TWO! There's SO MUCH! They're both such broken people who have not given themselves the time and opportunity to heal and they are both horrible messes, but I still love them both regardless.
Thank you so much for the ask!
Send Me a Character or Relationship (platonic or romantic) and I’ll Give You Some Headcanons!
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gotnofucks · 3 years
Text
Master of His Own Fate-2
Pairing: dark!Steve x Reader, dark!Bucky x Reader
Words: 4.3k
Warnings: Non-con/dub-con, smut, jealousy, spanking, 18+ ONLY
A/N: Probably gonna be a four-part series.
Part 1
MASTERLIST
+++++
Why did it feel like everyone had to do their shopping exactly when you had to? You’d bet it was not this crowed earlier. Or maybe it had something to do with the two super-soldiers flanking you that drew people in. You should have just ordered stuff online since this was super embarrassing. Steve’s hand was in the back pocket of your jeans and Bucky was on your other side, pushing the shopping cart with one hand while holding your waist with other. You’re sure you must have made quite a picture, a little woman sandwiched between them.
“Can you remove your hand?” You asked Steve under your breath and he looked away from the cereals he was perusing to glance at you.
“No” He answered and then pinched your ass for good measure. You jumped, your face flushing and you vowed to look at the floor until you left. You had no desire to see what other people thought about you.
“Why are they so colourful? Why can’t it be simple? There are too many!” Bucky exclaimed and you almost snorted. The cereal aisle was like wonderland for Bucky and you’d been walking back and forth here for 10 minutes now.
“I’m gonna go with this” Steve said throwing in a pack of Cap’n Crunch and you rolled your eyes.
“Then maybe Bucky can get Frosted Flakes and we can leave?” You suggested. Steve chuckled, leaning down to press an affectionate kiss on your head while Bucky took your advice and got Frosted Flakes.
“I’m gonna eat them off of you” He muttered in your ear and you bit your lip, flushing dark. You let them lead you around the store, checking off items off their list. It was so domestic you felt sick. This was not normal, and you unconsciously kept scratching your soulmark hidden under a wristband. You tried not to look at it if at all possible.
Bucky had stopped in front of the shelves containing condoms and quirked an eyebrow at you.
“Chocolate or strawberry?” He asked with a sinful grin and you wiggled until free of their holds. You had to bear their presence at home anyway, anymore and you’ll be smothered.
“We’ve forgotten the cheese dips. I’ll go get some while you finish here.” You said and turned away before they could say anything. You heard them chuckling softly behind you and willed your tears of frustration away.
Your life had changed drastically in the past few months since the night Steve and Bucky marked you as theirs. Try as you might, you couldn’t escape them, not when they are two of the most powerful and influential people in the world. You lived with them in their apartment at the compound now, and to say life was hell would be an understatement. Steve and Bucky have separate rooms but most nights you’re sandwiched between them in one bed since neither wants to spend a night away. You’d had more sex in these few months than people probably did in years.
You veered left into the sauces and spreads aisle, absentmindedly looking at the display. It wouldn’t matter what flavor you got, it would end up spread all over you and licked by your two lovers. You randomly took a jar off the shelf and were about to go back when you bumped into someone standing behind you.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” You apologized to the man behind you. His hand took hold of your elbow for a second to steady you before he stepped away and shook his head.
“It’s alright miss, not a problem.” He said with a small smile. You got a look at his face and your heart skipped a beat. He was a tall man with broad shoulders and dark hair, his genuine smile framed by a well-groomed beard. You saw his eyes dart to the jar in your hand and his lips twitched in amusement.
“I’d advise against this” He said pointing to the jar and you looked down at your hands in confusion. “While one may handle blue cheese, you don’t want to try its dip.”
You winced once you realized what you had picked and the man behind you laughed a little as he saw you put it back.
“What will you suggest?” You asked him. This was probably the only normal interaction you had had in a long time outside of work. It did help that this man was what some would call daddy.
“Oh, I am not a good cook. I just stick to the basics you know, less chances of messing up a dish.” He answered and handed you a classic cheese dip. You took it from him with a smile and thanked him. You lingered a moment, for some reason wanting to stay. It seemed like he had the same idea for even though he had picked his own jar, he didn’t leave.
“You, uh – you should get nachos to go with this. They have them on sale.” You said and internally cringed.
“Oh, alright then. Will you show me the way?” He asked and you nodded, leading him around as he followed with his cart.
“You new in the area?” You asked him since all locals knew the store layout pretty well.
“Ah yes, just moved here from Newton, Massachusetts. My name is Andy Barber” The man said and offered you a hand. Your smile vanished even as you mechanically accepted his hand and shook it. Andy Barber. AB. Like the initials on your wrist. Your hand squeezed around your wristband, your heart beating a mile an hour.
“Hey, you okay?” Andy asked and you realized he’d been speaking to you.
“Ah yes, yes I’m okay. Just lost in thought. Here we are, nachos.” You said and uselessly pointed at the display. You told yourself you were being silly, a lot of people with same initials existed. He may not even have a soulmark. Yet as you looked at him selecting his flavors, you couldn’t help but feel lighter than you had in months. You felt belonged, stupid as that may sound.
“So, you live around here?” You wished Andy would stop talking. The more he spoke, the more you wanted to stay and talk the rest of your life away with him.
“Yes, I am a doctor at the Avenger Tower.” You managed to say and saw his eyebrows raise appreciatively.
“Damn, that’s so cool” He said, and you couldn’t help but grin. “I am a lawyer, starting as a professor in NYU from next term.”
“Damn, that’s so cool” you mimicked him and you both breathed out a laugh. You didn’t realize it as you spoke to him that you were walking aimlessly with him around the store, telling him about the sites he absolutely must visit in New York and the best places to get coffee and hotdogs from. You had circled back to the spreads section and stood awkwardly facing each other.
“Uh, it may seem a little forward, but will you show me around the city?” Andy asked, fiddling with the cuffs on his shirt. You wanted him to take it off and see if your initials were tattooed in his skin like his were in yours. You were about to open your mouth when a hand wrapped around your waist from behind.
“There you are sweetie, you had us worried.” Steve’s words felt like a splash of cold water. For a few glorious moments you had forgotten your predicament, lost as you were in conversation with Andy. Your eyes met Andy’s and you saw him frown, his gaze narrowing on Steve’s arm around you and noticing how you tried to get out of it.
“I – uh, couldn’t decide so settled with the classic.” You showed Steve the cheese dip, but his eyes were fixed on Andy whose face was clouded with suspicion.
“Steve Rogers” He offered his hand to Andy, a useless introduction since most people recognized him with ease. You thought Andy would almost decline the handshake but, in the end, politely shook it.
“Pleased to meet you. Thank you for your service to the nation and the world.” His words were polite and yet there was a mistrustful edge to it. You hoped that he wouldn’t say anything and just walk away. You knew how Steve and Bucky could get about other men in your life, and right now you wanted Andy far away from here.
“Don’t mention it” Steve said preening and you took off his hand from your waist and laced your fingers together, trying to pull him away.
“We gotta go, lots to do back home. Thanks for the suggestion mister” You unnecessarily pointed at the jar again and tried to move back but Steve stood still. You were careful not to mention Andy’s name in front of him and you prayed with everything in you that this interaction would be over soon enough.
“Steve, you find her yet?” You closed your eyes in defeat and shame as Bucky walked from the other side and joined your little party. He closed in on you, hands cupping your face and drawing you in a deep kiss. You kept your eyes downcast, not looking at Andy and hoping the Earth will swallow you whole.
“Yeah, she’s was just having some trouble selecting the flavor until this gentleman here helped her.” Steve said and Bucky turned to look at Andy who was frowning harder than ever now. Andy’s eyes were searching yours, but you couldn’t let yourself meet his. Your shame and fear were profound and all you wanted was to leave.
Bucky’s eyes moved from Andy to Steve to you and he straightened, his arm curling around your shoulder, hand resting near your left collarbone just inches away from the scarred initials of him and Steve.
“Thank you, our girl here can be a little iffy when it comes to food” Bucky remarked affectionately but his emphasis on ‘our’ was not lost on either of you.
“Not a problem.” Andy finally nodded and took hold of his cart, ready to wheel it away. You almost sighed in relief, but your heart broke a little when he started retreating. Your eyes met for a brief moment and it seemed as if he would stop but then you looked away and he continued moving.
“What are we going to do with you Y/n?” Bucky muttered once Andy was out of sight. They didn’t care they were in a public place, both of them standing almost on top of you.
“I don’t know what you mean” You whispered and felt Bucky’s metal hand tighten over your arm. You hissed and tried to pull away but found your chin being raised up to face him with rough hands.
“Do you want another lesson on how to behave around strange men?” Bucky asked and your eyes widened, head shaking in negation.
“No, no Buck. Please, nothing happened. We were just talking” You begged, trying to convince him. You watched in horror as one of his hand outright cupped your left boob, fingers splayed so they pressed into the scars over your heart.
“You sure? I can show the whole store who you belong to my love.”
You were ready to start bawling when Bucky started fiddling with the neckline of your top, but it was Steve who saved the day. He gently pried Bucky’s hands from you and tucked you under his arm, pushing your head in his chest with a hand while the other kept Bucky away.
“Not here Buck, look at her. Honestly!” Steve started a swift walk towards the exit with you at his side and you couldn’t help but look back. It was one of those situations where you found the precious thing lost within a sea of garbage when you spotted Andy, his eyes not on you but your arm. You followed his gaze and suppressed a sob as you saw your wristband had shifted after your struggle with Bucky, bringing into view the initials that made your soulmark.
ASB: Andrew S Barber
You didn’t know his middle name but you couldn’t be any more sure of who your soulmate was when Andy’s eyes darted to his own covered wrist the moment Bucky shouted, “Steven Rogers and Y/n Y/l/n you both come back here this very second!”
Bucky was getting your stuff checked out, standing at the cashiers with his grumpy dad face on. Steve ignored him and continued dragging you away towards the exit. Your eyes watered and you tried to stem their flow so you could have one last glance at Andy without tears blurring your vision. You both stared at each other and just before you walked out the doors, even from the distance you saw Andy mouth a promise:
I will come for you
+++++
Fate was a cruel bastard, and you cursed your destiny as you lay curled in Steve’s lap after dinner. No one spoke much once you got home but you knew it was only a matter of time before shit hit the fan. You were wearing a short nightie, Bucky’s favorite and Steve’s hands were absently massaging you as he read through a new mission briefing.
“Wanda was asking about you again” Steve said, and you blinked at him. Just another thing you loved that they had snatched away from you. Wanda was obviously very suspicious when you announced you’ll be shifting from your apartment to Steve and Bucky’s since she knew you wanted to wait for your soulmate to show up. You would have confided in her had you not been aware of the damage your lovers could cause if displeased. Bucky had strictly ordered you to keep away from her until you were in control of your thoughts, which he was afraid Wanda would read. You had looked to help from Steve, who was softer out of the two, but he agreed with Bucky, “Better she not know anything than us having to eliminate her if she did.” They talked of death and violence with such ease it made your skin crawl.
“Can I see her now? I don’t think my texts are keeping her satisfied.” If only you could get a few hours away from their stifling presence maybe it would be more tolerable. The both of them clung to you like a babe to his mum, and your only respite were the hours you spent working.
“Do you think you’re ready to see her now?” Steve questioned you, finally looking up from his mission briefing. Before you could answer Bucky came behind you and plucked you from Steve’s arms like you weighed nothing and perched you in his own lap. Steve rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything.
“The better question would be if you think you deserve to see her.” Bucky commented, his hand fondling your behind under the silk nightie. You shifted under his touch and gaze, uncomfortable under the stern look.
“I’m minding my thoughts, I promise.” You whined and Bucky’s hand cracked against your ass suddenly. You squealed and he held you down with one hand, the second blow even harder than the first.
“You and I both know that’s not what I meant. I don’t like it when you act dumb.” Bucky snarled and you flinched as he raised his hand again. To your surprise, the slap barely had any force behind it and Bucky rubbed your ass softly as if in apology. You turned your face to peek at him and saw him and Steve locked in one of those silent eye contact conversations that you absolutely loathed. Steve was almost glaring at Bucky as if displeased and Bucky had enough grace to look a little ashamed.
“I wasn’t!” Bucky cried out suddenly, throwing his hands in the air and huffing. It was as if they were continuing a conversation that went from telepathy to verbal and your mouth parted in awe when Steve continued speaking too.
“You would have if I didn’t stop you.”
Your gaze moved from one man to another, confused beyond measure. In a flash Bucky was gathering you in his arms, holding you to himself like he was afraid papa Steve would take away his favorite toy.
“I know my limits Steve. She’s mine as much as yours. Stop it.”
You were sure if you tilted your head up you would see Bucky pouting but instead you observed Steve who was in classic captain pose with hands on his hips and disapproval on his face.
“Do you really? Because it sure seemed like you were about to strip her naked in a supermarket of all places.”
“I wouldn’t! I was teasing her.” Bucky said, his head buried in your neck. He took your hand and placed it on his head and you slowly scratched with your nails, making him purr in satisfaction. Steve didn’t look the least bit convinced and his eyes kept bouncing between you and Bucky. Finally, he heaved a deep sigh before getting up.
“She is sleeping in my room tonight.” Your head snapped up just as Bucky’s hold tightened around you in rejection of the idea.
“No, you can’t take her from me.” Bucky snapped and you resisted the urge to slap them both. It bothered you how they went on talking about you like you weren’t even present here.
“I’m not taking her away from you, pal. Just like she learns her lessons when she fucks up, so will you.”
Bucky didn’t look like he would want a lesson, but it didn’t seem like the first time they were having this talk because he said nothing more. He almost didn’t let you leave when Steve took your arm to take you away but finally relented.
“When can I have her back?” Yep, he was definitely pouting.
“When you learn that teasing is pinching her ass in public, not stripping her bare in front of strangers.”
+++++
It had been a while since there were two people in bed and not three. You stretched your feet out, glad to have some extra space. Even cuddled up in Steve’s massive arms, your thoughts returned to Andy. You had finally found him after years of searching, only to lose him on the same day. It was a cosmic joke to have you cross paths now when it was too late to do anything. Your hand unconsciously traced the letters on your wrist, a slight thrill running down your spine as you finally realized what and who these initials stood for.
It wasn’t just a legend anymore. They were right when they said that soulmates completed you. In those precious few moments you had spent with Andy, all your worries had fallen away. You both had built a bubble around yourself where the outer world was nothing but a distant blur and you saw only each other. Conversation didn’t sound strained and you felt so connected despite having just met. You wished you knew he existed a few months ago. How different would life have been then if you were laying in his arms and not Steve and Bucky’s?
You bit your lip when you felt Steve take your hand in his from behind you, his fingers too tracing the initials on your wrist. You stiffened and held yourself back from snatching your hand away. It was never a very good idea to resist when it came to them both.
“Bucky doesn’t know yet” Steve murmured in your ear as he tapped your wrist. You felt your heart drop in your stomach, your fingers curling in your palm. “He thinks it was just some man you were speaking to. His jealousy makes him sloppy and he doesn’t notice details.”
You were turned around to face him, your eyes locking on Steve’s which were a vibrant blue even in the dark. His hands played at the hem of your nightie, teasing it.
“I noticed of course. How could I not, I have never seen you smile the way you smiled at him” You didn’t seem capable of speaking or protesting when Steve’s hands slipped up your clothing and caressed your thighs and belly. His hands were moving but his eyes were fixed on you and try as you might you couldn’t look away. Slowly, gently like one does to precious cargo you were stripped, your body baring itself inch by delicious inch. The calluses on his fingers rubbed against your nipples and you let out a moan, your slick coating your walls and thighs. Your lips met his in a desperate kiss and you couldn’t help but make pathetic mewls as his tongue raced across your throat. He came to rest above your heart, tracing the scar over it. JBB and SGR
“How are these any different to those on your wrist?” He questioned as he entered you slowly, looking deep into your eyes like trying to search your soul. “If we carve your name on our body, would that make you look at us like you looked at him?”
You couldn’t answer if you wanted to, the heat of Steve warming your insides. You met in a familiar dance, bodies slapping, and moaning together until pleasure took over every cell in your body. Steve pulled out and released on your thighs, rubbing his essence in your skin, his breath warm on your cheek.
“I don’t think I need to tell you what will happen if I find you talking to that man again” It was not a question and you shook your head, tears travelling down the sides of your face and getting lost in your hair. “Good girl. We can forget it and Bucky will never know. Because if that happens, even I won’t be able to help you.”
You reminded yourself that Steve was just as much of a monster as Bucky was. He had taken you against your will too, and while he may as well be the lesser of the two evils, you could not trust him. You turned to your side, automatically curling into Steve out of habit when he held you. That is what this relationship felt like. A habit. It was a routine you were stuck in with no way out. You closed your eyes, seeking the escape of sleep and tried to sooth your broken heart over a love it may never find again.
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Bucky was a terrible stalker and you wondered how he remained a ‘ghost story’ for all those decades. Steve had been hoarding you in his room for nearly a week and you knew Bucky was at his wit’s end. He wasn’t even pretending to hide anymore; he’d just stand across the med bay and ogle you like a roadway creep. You didn’t even know what to do, who should you listen to. Being caught in the crossfire between them is not fun.
You finally had enough and made your way over to him. You were a few feet away when he snatched you in his arms, crushing you to his frame and kissing you soundly. Pulling away, he put his forehead on yours and bit your lip.
“I’ve missed you baby.” He cooed and you sighed.
“Is that why you’re lurking here and scaring my nursing staff away?” Bucky nodded, pecking your lips once more before you moved away.
“I’m sorry about the other day you know. I just…lost control.” It was rare that he would apologize, and you were too smart to reject this small consolation. He will probably be kind and soft for the coming few days and you took what you can. You smiled at him, promising him you forgave him.
“I have just one public hour and then we can go home together. Sounds good?” You asked and Bucky’s smile was almost shy when he agreed. Sometimes you believed it when they say they loved you, but how can someone hurt whom they love?
“You asked me once what I see in you, but have you ever looked at yourself the way I look at you? Here you are, one of the most accomplished doctors working for the Avengers, and yet you give your time to general public to treat their common cold and flu. That’s what I see in you. Your kindness, that light, it guides me away from the darkness in me.” Bucky confessed and you looked away from him. He could be so sweet when he has to be. Both him and Steve. You wonder again if they could always be like that, will you be able to love them.
“I – uh, I’ll see you in an hour, okay? Wait in the common room for me.”
You watched Bucky go and returned with a perturbed mind. The hot and cold behavior almost gives you a whiplash. In the past few months, you have spent several nights crying, but just as many moaning in pleasure. Maybe it could have been easier if you’d given in and just accepted them, but love does not come by force. They can carve their names in your skin a hundred times over, and yet it won’t leave a mark on your soul.
Your assistant entered, informing you that general patients were waiting for you and you nodded. Tony gave you an hour free every day to treat patients outside the tower for free. You believed being a doctor your job should be more than saving just superheroes. One by one your patients trickled in, most with common diseases. Some you prescribed for additional testing; all costs covered by the Stark Industries.
“Your last patient ma’am”
You nodded to let your assistant know you heard her and entered the room. You were looking over a report as you entered, the door shutting itself behind you automatically.
“Hello, how can I help you today?” You looked up and the report fell out of your hand. Sitting in front of you was Andy Barber, his eyes crinkled at the sides due to the wide smile he supported.
“I believe I have a heart problem doctor. A beautiful lady stole mine.”
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mandoalorian · 3 years
Text
Don’t Let Me Go  [Maxwell Lord x Reader] SMUT
Summary: Spiralling in a circle of guilt and blame, Maxwell Lord reflects on the night he let you slip through his fingers. He just wishes he had seen the warning signs sooner. Then maybe he wouldn't have lost you.
Word count: 8k 
Author's note: This is my longest one shot so far oh my gosh. Please note that everything that is in bold italics are flashbacks. I hope you enjoy! Xx
MASTERLIST 
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 ~ gif by: pajamasecrets
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There was simply no way to put into words how Maxwell Lord was feeling. Without you, his suburban-manor home was empty. Completely empty. Nothing but the drip of a leaky faucet echoing through the oversized kitchen, and the padding of his shuffled footsteps as he made his way to the bar to pour himself a drink. He didn't cook anymore, but he wasn't feeling the pain of going hungry. His bed wasn't made, but it didn't matter because he couldn't sleep in it anymore knowing that your scent still haunted the blankets. He would slumber around his house in a shirt that had been unevenly buttoned up and probably hadn't been washed in a week. His eyes were tired, cheeks were tear stained and he hadn't taken absence from work this long in his whole life. His job was what lost you. How could he ever want to go back?
 Maxwell was unravelling back into the mean spirited man he was before he met you— but somehow, worse. He didn't have friends, he had business associates. And he had chosen to cut himself off from his mother due the awful way she had treated him his whole life. If his own mother could see the broken shell of a man that Maxwell had become, she would laugh in his face. She would reprimand him, and tell him how she had warned him not to fall in love. Business first, always. But it was that same advice that she had ingrained into him from such a young age, which would inevitably be his downfall.  All he ever had, was you. And that was enough. That was all he needed.
 Maxwell hardly remembered life before you but he was certain it didn't hurt this bad. He had experienced loss before; with his father when he was only sixteen— but this was a different kind of loss. You were still out there. You were living your life, and you had chosen to do it without him. How could you? How could Maxwell possibly survive without you? He opened up to you like he had with no other. He softened around you and the level headed businessman had become completely dependent on you.
 When you were with him, you changed him into a better man. You encouraged him to tidy for himself, taught him how to cook meals and insisted that he even did his own dishes afterwards. You would scold him gently for not making his side of the bed until eventually, he was making both sides of the bed, and even doing laundry.
 You both shared a schedule— waking up at the same time every dawn. Sharing cuddles and kisses and intimate touches in bed under the morning sunlight. Eventually getting up and taking your turns to cook breakfast. Whether it be blueberry pancakes or eggs, or sometimes Maxwell would surprise you with an array of exciting different foods from all around the world. Then, you would head back to your bedroom and dance in your shared walk-in closet, laughing together as you picked out your outfit of the day. You’d tie his tie and straighten his suspenders before helping him into his suit jacket. He loved the way you'd style his hair on a morning. Maxwell was a perfectionist but you knew just the way he liked things and he really admired that about you. You'd brush your teeth together and he'd paint your face with your favourite face cream. When you applied your lipstick, you'd always give him a surprise kiss and make your mark on him. He'd reluctantly scrub the lipstick stain off his cheek, or jaw, or chin, or wherever you had planted it that day, but now he wished he still had every mark you had ever made on him.
 You were so understanding too. This was the longest relationship either of you had ever committed to before. You fell in love with each other hard and fast— but the honeymoon phase seemingly never ended. Everyday was a new and exciting ride with Maxwell. He knew how much you wanted children, and a family. You'd bring it up now and again. One day, Maxwell felt as though he should open up to you.
 He explained how he had never considered having children because of his own personal relationship with his family. He informed you about how absent his parents were, and he imagined himself to be like his late father; too consumed in his own work and business to give any attention to his son. Max knew that pain all too well due to experiencing it firsthand. He would never want that for his children. It was nothing to do with you— he has no doubt in his mind how excellent of a mother you would be. But to Max, being a CEO and father just didn't go hand in hand. Of course, this shattered you, but it wasn't a deal breaker because Maxwell was the complete love of your life. With kids or without kids, as long as you had Max, you believed you would live a lifetime of satisfaction and genuine happiness.
 Maxwell Lord hadn't known love until he met you, and the truth is, from the moment he laid his eyes on you, he was infatuated. He knew he just had to have you. And so he spent weeks trying to woo you and win you over. He started with all he ever known, buying you jewellery from Tiffany’s, Louis Vuitton heels and the most gorgeous crimson red shade of Dior lipstick that he dreamed of you wearing on multiple occasions. But it didn't faze you.
 "I don't need all of this," you sighed, placing the large white box on the table and re-wrapping it with the silver silk ribbon. Maxwell furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "There are people out there who walk around the streets of DC in winter with holes in their shoes, mothers who can't afford ChapStick nevermind Dior Lipstick."
 Maxwell hesitated. No woman had ever rejected the material items he had purchased for them. They'd always sweep them away with a familiar glint in their eye and, to show their appreciation, would go down on him later that night. He lulled his head to the side. "Not even the necklace?" Maxwell questioned, rubbing his thumb over his lower lip.
 You breathed an elongated sigh, taking the Tiffany’s box and opening it once more with a small click. You adored the necklace. A small silver chain with a crystal heart in the centre. You could only guess that it was Swarovski. In the sunlight, the crystal gleamed a prism of rainbow colours— like a kaleidoscope. It was simply magnificent and unlike any other necklace you had seen before.
 “It is beautiful.” you hummed, admiring the way it sparkled before your eyes. Maxwell took the box from your hands and removed the necklace. He stood up and gently moved your hair to one side, his soft fingers brushing against your skin making your heart flutter. He clipped the necklace in place and adjusted it so the small crystal heart fell over your chest.
 "It brings out your eyes." Maxwell smiled and you felt your cheeks heat up at his comment. "Please, keep the necklace. I see how much you like it. And it suits you so well."
 You looked at yourself in the mirror. Still standing behind you, Maxwell swung his arms around your hips and pulled you into his chest. He gently pressed a kiss into the crook of your neck. "Thank you Max," your voice was barely above a whisper. "But please, no more gifts. All I need is you."
 Your words took Maxwell by surprise because he had never heard no such thing from any of his partners before. It was true, you meant your sentiment completely, all you needed was his attention, his care, his love, and most importantly him. That is where he went wrong and what would ultimately be the downfall to your relationship.
 "I will wear this everyday!" you beamed proudly with a grin so wide. Maxwell felt chuffed with your love for the necklace. "I won't ever take it off." You promised him. "Let it be a symbol of our first date."
 "The start of our relationship?" Maxwell proposed and you let out a small squeal as your arms tightened around him and you buried your head into the softness of his chest. The buttons of his shirt poked into your cheek but you didn't care, and you felt your eyes close as he brushed his fingers softly through your hair.
 "The start of our relationship." you confirmed with a smile.
 Maxwell threw the crystalled whiskey glass to the wall at the memory, his already broken heart shattering into even smaller pieces. He didn't think it was possible, and yet. The amber liquid dripped against the white walls and the glass deflected back at him, cutting his hand. A thin stripe of blood leaked down his arm and he done nothing but simply swallow a curse. It didn't even hurt. He was completely numb.
 He hated what he had become, and there was no one to blame other than himself. Sometimes he would try to hate you. He would take a look at himself in the mirror and feel nauseated at the sight of him. He was a mess, and he couldn't stand to feel any more self hatred. He couldn't take it. He couldn't live like this. He remembered when his schedule at work became a lot more hectic and he was away on business trips a lot. He'd call you, every night without fail from his hotel room. You'd be spread out on his bed, sporting his favourite button down work shirt and pair of shorts. The sight alone would be enough to make Maxwell hurry home quicker than The Flash. But he had work commitments that he simply could not leave behind.
 "How many more business trips?" You tried to keep composed for him, but just hearing his voice and knowing he was hundreds of miles away from you felt like a knife in your heart.
 "It could be like this up until the end of the year. Canada isn't easy to do dealings with. Not even my charm can succumb the president." Maxwell chuckled lightheartedly, and you allowed a small yet pained smile to creep upon your lips. He truly had no idea how much you were hurting without him, but, it sounded like he was doing just fine without you.
 "Max, time for dinner!" You heard an unfamiliar feminine voice call in the background. You froze up, a shiver racing down your spin and goosebumps rising on your arms. 
 Silence.
 "Who was that?" you asked your boyfriend cautiously, your fingers anxiously twiddling on the crystal necklace he had gifted you months prior.
 "Oh, that was my assistant, Barbara," Maxwell explained non-chalantely. "You remember? I had to get a new assistant. Veronica couldn't come to Canada so…"
 "Oh." you replied, voice cold. "She called you Max." you stated matter of factly. You couldn't just let that slide.
 "Well yeah," he chuckled. "That's my name."
 "Everyone at work calls you Mr Lord." you deadpanned. "Or sir."
 "I mean, yeah, that's true I suppose. But Barbara's new and I never specified otherwise. Besides, I'm growing to like the informality. No doubt that's your doing." He laughed. But you weren't sharing the same energy.
 "You're having dinner with her?" You hoped you weren't sounding pushy, or clingy, but you had to know.
 "Yeah, she got us reservations at this fantastic Italian restaurant. We went last night too." Maxwell was smiling on the other end of the line but you felt like screaming at this revelation. "Actually, I think you'd love it there. I hear Canada is beautiful at Christmas time. Maybe I can clear some time off in December and I'll take you?" he suggested. Usually you'd be so excited at this proposal of his, telling him you'd be packing your bags immediately. But not this time.
 You trusted your boyfriend. You really did. But you couldn't stand the fact that he was in a different country with another woman who you'd never even met before. Jealousy riled in your stomach and you wondered what she was like. Not only that, but Maxwell had a long winded history of sleeping with his assistants and you were completely aware of how desperate his sex drive could be. The more you thought about it, the more your stomach churned. But you just couldn't escape the thoughts.
 You wondered what Barbara was like. Maxwell's assistants were always young and beautiful. They wore the nicest clothes to impress him and made such an effort every single day. Of course, this was before you. He'd select his assistants based on looks rather than qualifications. If they couldn't pour him a good cup of coffee, that was okay because they'd be gone after a week anyway. You wondered if he had employed Barbara based on her looks.
 He called your name. "Are you there?" He asked.
 "Uhm, yeah, I should go." You told him hastily, suddenly feeling the urge to hurry to run to the bathroom. You felt like you had to throw up.
 "Oh, okay," Maxwell replied. He often struggled picking up on the little prompts you would make that illustrated you weren't okay. It was no fault of his own, but unless you explicitly stated that something was wrong, the chances were, he would just assume that everything is okay. "Well, can I call you the same time tomorrow?"
 "Okay." you shakily exhaled, praying he didn't notice your growing anxiety. If he noticed, he would confront you about it. That was just his nature.
 "Okay. I love you sweetheart." You could practically hear his grin. A single tear slipped down your cheek.
 "I love you too." You told him before slamming the phone down on the hook.
 Maxwell was taken aback by your abrupt end to the phone call. He sat on the edge of his bed, processing your words. He went to dial your number again because he felt in his heart that there was a chance that something could be wrong.
 "Maaaaaax," Barbara called again, snapping the businessman out of his thoughts. "We're going to be late." Barbara sauntered over to Maxwell, his tie in her hand and placed it around his neck. She went to cross it over when he gently put his hand out to stop her.
 "That's okay," he said. "I can tie it myself."
 Barbara stiffened at his rejection but after a few seconds of awkward silence, she shuffled away.
 That was the very first time Max being away had bothered you to unmeasurable amounts. You struggled to sleep without him anyway, but that night, you were completely restless. Tossing and turning— imagining him with his assistant doing unspeakable things together. You couldn't count the amount of journeys you made to your en-suite bathroom. Not only that, but you were ridden with guilt. If Maxwell found out you were doubting his faithfulness, he would be devastated.
 And it only got worse.
 He spent more time away. Longer business trips. He had to cancel the December trip to Canada that he promised. It felt like he was slipping through your fingers.
 Maxwell fell to his knees when the memory of your break-up hit him like a ton of bricks.
 Maxwell put the phone down with a smile. “Albert has invited Edward and I over for drinks tonight." he announced. You adjusted the red roses he had brought home for you and put the glass vase in different locations around the dining room, trying to gauge where they would look nicest.
 "You said no, right?" You asked, manouvering a rose to one side, being careful not to prick your finger on the stem.
 "Why would I say no?" Maxwell asked.
 You pricked your finger.
 "Shit." you hissed, your blood dripping down your hand. Maxwell grabbed a flannel and wet it under the kitchen tap. He walked over to you and carefully wrapped it around the cut. You winced at his contact.
 "Does it hurt?" Maxwell asked, dabbing at the cut being as careful as he could.
 "That you forgot we had plans tonight and agreed to see Albert and Edward?" you asked, bitterness dripping from your tongue. Maxwell pulled away, knotting his eyebrows together in confusion. "Yeah Max, it hurts."
 "We didn't have plans." Maxwell said, folding his arms over his chest.
 "This is your only night home!" You cried out. All your emotions while he had been gone were pent up inside of you and this was the final straw. "I rented a movie, I got the popcorn maker out!" 
 Maxwell took a peek at his gold wrist watch. "We could watch half the movie and you know, I don't really like popcorn that much anyway." He was actually serious about ditching you on his only night home. You were so angry. "Listen baby, I won't be gone all night. And when I get home, we can have a little fun ourselves. I won't be too late, I promise. Besides, I've missed you-" He suggested, voice low. You let Maxwell's fingers trace your skin, and he meant it in nothing but a comforting way, and yet you had the urge to smack his hand away from you.
 "No!" You folded your arms across your chest and shook your head.
 "No?" Maxwell quizzed, confused. "But baby-"
 "Max how can you be so… so…." you struggled to even find words but you hoped he had picked up on the frustration in your tone of voice.
 "What?" He beckoned you but all you could do was hide your face in your hands. You were so close to tears. You wanted to beg him to stay with you, but the point is, you knew that you shouldn't have to beg. Maxwell awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. "You know I was suggesting sex, right?"
 You narrowed your eyes in his direction. "Oblivious." you said. "You're so oblivious." 
 "You're keeping something from me." Maxwell deadpanned.
 "You're keeping something from me." You repeated.
 "No I'm not."
 "Yes you are."
 "No I'm not."
 "And so what if I ask Barbara?" you asked, but regretting the words instantly as they left your mouth.
 Maxwell blinked, completely dumbfounded. "Ask Barbara what?"
 "Ohhh what went on in Canada? What you both get up to on these business trips. You're with her more than you're with me." You accused. But it was the truth.
 "I'm not following." Maxwell said. "Are you trying to accuse me of something?" You couldn't even look at him. Then it dawned on him. "You think I'm cheating on you." His blood ran cold.
 You didn't know what to say. It was true. You had suspected. But gauging by his reaction, and the way his voice cracked, you knew right then and there you had been wrong. And that you had hurt him. Maxwell loosened his tie and leaned against the kitchen counter.
 "Tell me." He urged.
 "Yes," you whispered, looking at your feet in shame. "I thought that… I thought…"
 "Tell me," he repeated. "I want to hear you say it."
 "I thought you were cheating on me with Barbara." you admitted with a sigh, and looked up at your boyfriend with hazy, tear filled eyes. "Max…" you let your voice trail off and put your hand against your raising heart.
 "How could you?" he asked in disbelief.
 "You always slept with your assistants… before me. And you were so secretive about Barbara. You went out to Italian restaurants together. And I just thought-"
 "That I was sleeping with her?!" He raised his voice at you and oh boy, you hated when he shouted at people. He never shouted at you, that's one thing for sure, but when you had first met, he shouted a lot. He shouted at the people he worked with, he shouted at his colleagues, his secretary, his assistants. He definitely had grown out of the habit since he entered his relationship with you but Maxwell was so angry right now...
 "Well can you blame me?!" You yelled at him back feeling defensive.
 "I can't believe you don't trust me." Maxwell shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You know Barbara did make advances on me." You felt your fingers curl into a fist. "But I rejected her, obviously. I warned her if she keeps at it she'll have to find another job."
 You laughed and rolled your eyes. "Because you can't resist the temptation of her."
 "What the fuck, no?!" Maxwell bellowed and his voice was so loud your heart dropped. You completely froze up. "Because I didn't want to disrespect you. I'm not going to stand for other women trying to make their move on me when I'm faithful to you!" 
 "Can you please stop yelling." Your voice was quiet— begging, almost.
 But he didn't stop. "I have never ever given you a reason not to trust me." Maxwell felt so hurt. He felt heartbroken. He would've never have second guessed you like this.
 "Will you stop fucking yelling at me?!" You shouted, tears streaming down your face in anger.
 Maxwell stood there in silence, watching you bubble up and cry. Truthfully, he was finding it difficult to keep it together himself. He'd normally come to you, pull you in a hug and wipe your tears away, nursing you and whispering sweet nothings into your ear. But he just stood there, frozen and staring. You wiped your tears away yourself and took a deep breath before grabbing your jacket and purse from the coat rack.
 "Where are you going?" Maxwell sighed.
 "I'm leaving." you stated. You knew this was it. And you couldn't even bring yourself to look back at him. If you looked at him one more time, it might be enough to stay. And you couldn't stay. Nothing had ever hurt this much.
 "What? Well when will you be back?" Maxwell questioned.
 "I'm not coming back." You swung your purse over your shoulder and Maxwell followed you to the front door.
 "What the hell do you mean?" he called after you.
 "I'm leaving you." your own words felt like daggers in your heart.
 "What?" Maxwell asked.
 "Please don't come find me." You told him, your fingers tracing the door handle. You opened the door and set foot on the patio, looking up at the setting sun. It reminded you of all the moments you spent with Maxwell, lounging outside waiting for the stars to come out, or the evenings where you'd be tidying up the garden after a barbecue. "You know, I really did love you Max." You whispered, a tear slipping from your eye.
 "Just. Come back inside and we can talk about this. I'm, I'm sorry for yelling. Please." Maxwell begged, his voice cracking. He held his arm out for you and wished so desperately that you would turn around and take his hand. But you didn't.
 "It's not just the yelling Max, you're prioritising your work over our relationship."
 "Baby, you knew it would be this way when you got with me. I told you."
 "I just don't think I can handle it." You sniffed.
 "Come back inside and we can talk about it." Maxwell said but you shook your head.
 "Goodbye Maxwell." 
 Maxwell's grip on the bathroom sink was so tight, his knuckles went white. His own reflection made him sick. This wasn't him. This wasn't Maxwell Lord.
 Maxwell Lord didn't lose. He didn't lose anything. He didn't lose business negotiations, he didn't lose business deals and he certainly wouldn't lose the love of his life. He had to stop moping, he had to make this right.
 He ran to the dining room and swung the phone of the hook, dialing the home number of his driver, Jeeves. "Come on, come onnnn." he mumbled to himself, tapping his foot impatiently. It was the dead of night and Maxwell was aware that Jeeves would be at home with his family, asleep. But this was important and Maxwell paid Jeeves enough to be able to answer the phone at 1:30am, that's for sure.
 "Hello?" A tired Jeeves greeted Maxwell.
 "Where is Y/N staying?" Maxwell asked abruptly. Straight to the point.
 "Mr Lord… with all due respect…"
 "Jeeves I need to know and I need to know now," Maxwell cut him off. "Don't make me come down there."
 "Sir, you should be asleep."
 "Jeeves." Maxwell raised his voice sternly. "I don't have time for games. Where is she?"
 Jeeves sighed. "Last I heard, she was at the Waterfront Hotel." Maxwell scribbled the name down on a torn piece of paper and hurriedly crumpled it into the pocket of his light grey sweatpants.
 "Thank you Jeeves."
 "Will you be needing me to take you there?" Jeeves yawned.
 "No," Maxwell said. "Go back to sleep. I'll take the Porsche. Drive myself."
 "Ah, excellent choice. Okay, goodnight Mr Lord." Jeeves yawned again.
 "Send Elizabeth and the children my love. I'm sorry for bothering you." Maxwell apologised and slammed the phone down on the hook.
 Jeeves’ wife, Elizabeth, rubbed her eyes and shuffled upwards. "Who was calling at this ungodly hour?"
 Her husband hesitated, confusion evident in his face. "It was Maxwell Lord. I think he's going after Y/N."
 Elizabeth's eyes widened. "Oh thank goodness for that."
 "I know… he's really lost it without her," Jeeves admitted, shaking his head. "He told me that he sends you and the kids his love." 
 Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "Maxwell Lord said that?" she asked in disbelief and Jeeves shrugged his shoulders.
 "It’s Y/N," He replied. "She just has that effect on him."
 You'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't miss him. You thought about him every second of every day— and you weren't doing too well yourself. You hadn't left the hotel room once. You couldn't bring yourself to eat. You found it difficult to sleep. Your final words to him haunted you.
 "I really did love you."
 Why did you say that? Why would you make him believe that you no longer loved him? You wondered if he had moved on yet, perhaps initiated a relationship with Barbara. You wondered if he had resorted to his old ways and had been fucking and dumping his assistants. You wondered if he still thought about you.
 You were so worried about him because you knew how self destructive Maxwell could become. You knew about his dependency on alcohol and his tendency to lash out and yell at people when you weren't there to call him down. If he was suffering at least half as much as you were, you felt extreme guilt. You hoped he hadn't gotten himself hurt. You weren't happy, but if you had some kind of closure— if you just knew that he was doing okay without you, then maybe you would feel better.
 And yet you couldn't bring yourself to go back home. You had Maxwell's driver bring over your toiletries and clothes and tipped him enough to not tell Maxwell which hotel you were staying at. You didn't know if it was really worth it. He was Maxwell's driver, and if Maxwell asked, you figured the driver would reveal your location anyway. Your mind was racing. What if he did ask? What if Maxwell knew where you were but didn't care enough to come see you. You didn't tell him to not come and find you…
 A sudden loud knock on your hotel room door interrupted your thoughts. You sat frozen in your bed and checked the wall clock. It was almost two in the morning. The knock came again, even harder this time and you clutched your bed sheets tight around you. You took a deep breath and shuffled out of bed, padding to the door. You scoped your hotel room for something blunt that could be used as a weapon if this post-midnight mystery stranger happened to be an intruder. Slowly, you opened the door.
 Your heart sunk when you saw him.
 Dark circles under his eyes, his dark blonde hair messy and sticking up in places. He was literally wearing one of his button down work shirts (the one you used to sleep in), and light grey sweatpants. He looked helpless, and it was like time had frozen. You felt your eyes begin to sting from the brimming tears and you could only bring yourself to whisper his name. "Max…"
 Maxwell took a step forward and pressed a heated kiss into your lips. It took you by surprise, but you soon sank into his chest. This was it. This was everything you had missed. His lips tasted like a mix of whiskey and spirits. His large, ring clad hands gripped your back and pressed you tight into his broad chest. He was finally holding you again, and kissing you— and you were letting him. He couldn't believe it. He pulled away for breath but didn't let go of you for one second. He nudged his nose against yours. "I am so sorry…" Maxwell whispered, a tear falling down his cheek. You cupped your hand around his face and wiped his tear away with your thumb before pressing your forehead against his. "I was so stupid, for everything. I shouldn't have let you go." His voice was sore and it broke your heart. He was taking full accountability and blaming himself.
 "No Max," you sniffed and shook your head. "No. I wasn't thinking straight. I was so mad." 
 "I gave you a reason to be mad." Maxwell soothed you, rubbing circles into your back.
 "No no no," You curled up into his chest again, holding him tight. "I acted irrationally. Please don't blame yourself." You begged him. "This was on me. You were right. You never gave me a reason not to trust you."
 "I was so foolish, planning to go and see Albert and Edward on our only night together." His words brought back a familiar pain and you broke down into a sobbing mess in Maxwell's arms. He continued to rub your back, feeling your tears dampen in his lazily buttoned shirt. He kissed your head gently, the familiar scent of your hair making his knees weak. "I'm really struggling," Maxwell gulped. "I don't think I can live without you. I need you. I need you and your good heart helping me decide between what's right and what's wrong. I need you scolding me for my bad manners and confronting me when I'm in the wrong…" you let out a small chuckle and his heart bloomed. "It's true!" he smiled for the first time into your hair. "You're the only one who can get away with telling me what to do. I miss the way you play with my hair," you dragged your hands up to his hair and Maxwell let out a muffled groan. "Missed your touch," he said, stiffening up as you let your hands roam down his body, touching every bit of skin he had visible. "Missed your kisses," you pressed another kiss against his lips and let your arms rest comfortably around his waist. "Missed you so fucking much."
 "Maaaax," you whimpered out his name as he placed sloppy kisses along your jaw and down your neck.
 "I don't think I can be alone anymore," he said in between kisses. "You don't have to forgive me. I wouldn't forgive me. But please come home with me. And I will spend every day for the rest of my life proving to you how much I love you. You first. You before Edward and Albert and Barbara, you before all work commitments." he promised and you hummed in contentment.
 "I would want nothing more." You told him and he smiled. "No more fights. I'm going to communicate better, I can do better. And Maxwell?"
 "Hm?" Maxwell's voice was soft like velvet.
 "I forgive you. And I never stopped loving you."
 Maxwell sighed and squeezed you tight. "I never want to let go of you." he admitted. "I never want to leave you ever again. Wherever I go, you're coming with me. This has been the worst couple of weeks."
 "You have looked better." you joked with a small smile. You grabbed him by his shirt collar and dragged him into your hotel room, before locking the door behind you.
 "You…" he smiled, his eyes sparkling. "You always look so beautiful." 
 "You're lying," you shook your head feeling your cheeks heat up at his smooth choice of words. "I haven't slept in days."
 Maxwell cupped your cheeks with both hands, taking in the features he had missed so dearly. "Me neither, but I'll sleep well tonight, I'm sure of it." He said and you grinned, playfully pushing him into the plush hotel bed. He yelped as you clambered on top of him and straddled him.
 "Fuck Max," you whimpered, softly rubbing your hips over his crotch.
 "Shit baby," he mewled, his hands dropping to your hips and grabbing your ass. His eyes were locked on to your body as you lounged on top of him. "Missed this." he admitted with a sheepish smile.
 "It's been so long," you said quietly, popping open the buttons on his shirt and helping him shuffle out of it. There was a real temptation to just curl into his warm naked chest and fall asleep in his arms but you needed more. It had been months without any kind of sexual gratification and now you finally had him. You had been yearning for so long. "Couldn't stop thinking about you," you admitted and Maxwell's heart fluttered in his chest. "Every night I… I could never sleep. So I'd lay here in this bed and just think about you. Think about you holding me… kissing me… touching me…"
 "Where?" He quizzed you, his voice low at the thought of you laying exactly where he was now lying, restless because you were imagining his touch.
 "Everywhere," you breathed shakily.
 "Show me."
 He steadied you as you removed your hands from his chest and pulled off your shirt. Maxwell gasped slightly when he saw you weren't wearing a bra and you began to touch yourself in front of him. You let your fingers grace over your arms, your stomach, and then brought them up to your breasts. You let your thumb graze over your nipples and cupped them, squeezing a few times as you closed your eyes at the blissful sensation. Maxwell watched you touch yourself intently and you began to feel him harden beneath you. Unable to hide the smirk playing on your lips, you continued to softly grind over his length, gaining a gentle moan from him. "Touch me." you begged him. He ran his big hand up your stomach, between the valley of your breasts and to your chest, twirling the crystal necklace he had gotten for you way back when you had your first date.
 "You never took the necklace off?" he asked, his chocolate brown eyes looking deep into yours.
 "Never," you told him and he returned your smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
 "Lean into me," his voice was rough but gentle. You obeyed him, slowly sinking forward into his body and he took one of your breasts in his mouth, sucking on your nipple and eliciting a moan from you. With his free hand, he opted to mirror your previous actions and squeezed your other breast. Your knees weakened everytime his teeth grazed your skin and you missed the way he would gently bite at you. All your senses were completely heightened and he felt amazing. You hummed in delight before leaning back, your breast leaving Maxwell's mouth with a pop.
 You climbed off him and took to your knees by his side when you began to palm his length through his grey sweatpants. "You're so cute," you giggled as you stroked him through the soft material.
 Maxwell turned his head slightly and furrowed his eyebrows together. "Cute?" he asked.
 "Mhm," you replied, dipping your hand into his sweats and pulling out his throbbing hard cock. You smiled to yourself— he wasn't wearing underwear either. You slowly began to pump at it and a delicious moan fell from his lips. "You come here in a work shirt and sweatpants," you conceded. "Not your best fashion decision. But I do love these sweats. I love to see you get hard in them, it's so hot. I can really see how big you are," you admired him and let your thumb sweep across the tip of his cock, collecting the precum that had beaded there. You brought your thumb to your mouth and began sucking on it, letting his warm, salty seed settle on your tongue.
 "F-fuck," Maxwell drawled out. "Keep talking like that. You're so- you're so fucking pretty, sucking on your thumb like that. Wish- wish you were suck-"
 "Be patient my love," you whispered, pressing a kiss into his v line and wrapping your hand around his cock once more, repeating the movements. You knew what he wanted, and you wanted it too. "We have all the time in the world."
 "Keep talking like that." he reminded you, watching as your hands graced his length. 
 "I'd lay here," your voice was barely above a whisper. "Just like you are. And I'd imagine you fucking me. Been too long. Missed- missed you so much. I missed your big hands and the way you'd caress me. I missed how good you were at going down on me… best- best I've ever had," you hummed in delight, feeling your cunt begin dampen your shorts. "Most of all, I missed this. I missed your big cock, and the way it fills me perfectly. Feels so amazing. While you were away on those fucking business trips… I’d…I’d..." you took a deep breath.
 "What?" Maxwell prompted you to continue. 
 You took one hand and began to cradle his balls as you kept rubbing up and down the length. "I'd finger myself, rub myself, do everything I could just thinking about you. Usually I-," you exhaled shakily before shooting him an innocent smile. "I'd have to use a dildo because my fingers can't ever compare to your cock. Nothing can, Max." You promised him and he emitted an earthy groan. "Your turn." you smiled at him before licking his tip.
 "Fuuuck. That- that feels so good," Maxwell gritted out, throwing his head back into the pillow. You opened your mouth slightly and started by taking the tip in your mouth, sucking softly. "More, please,"
 "Keep talking." You quoted him cheekily before reattaching your mouth to his hard cock.
 "I took those Polaroids with me," Maxwell admitted bashfully. "The- the ones you took for me on Valentine's day. You wore that lacy red lingerie set I got you and fuck, you looked so stunning that night. Found it so hard to sleep without you by my side so I'd get out the photos and jerk off to them. I- I could never really last long looking at you, you're just so fucking pretty," Maxwell praised and you hollowed your cheeks, sinking your mouth further down on him. "I'd dream about this. Baby, you know how much I love getting blown," You felt his cock twitch in your mouth just as he said that and you tried to suppress a giggle. "Dreamt about this. Your mouth on me. I- I'd cum in your mouth."
 You lifted off him with a pop. "Cum in my mouth then," you urged with a sheepish grin and continued sucking on him, bobbing your head up and down.
 "N-no." Maxwell said, lowering his hands to tug off your head. "Fuck, no. Baby. I have to fuck you." You almost came from his words alone and you could feel the electricity spark in your stomach as excitement filled your core. "I have to feel you. Feel you around me. You always- you always feel like home."
 Your heart blossomed at his words. "Can I ride you?" you asked him, popping off him again. He grabbed your chin and forced you to look into his eyes. They were so dark with lust, you could've mistaked the usual honeyed shade for black.
 "No. I want to fuck you." he growled in your ear sending a shiver down your spine.
 He kicked off his sweats that were pooled around his ankles and you pulled down your silk shorts, discarding them on the floor with the rest of his and your clothes. "Please please please can I ride you." you whimpered, letting your hand fall down to your cunt and you started rubbing your clit as you drunk in the image of Maxwell spread out on the hotel bed, his cock hard and pressed against his stomach.
 "No." he reprimanded you as he got to his knees. He pushed you down onto the bed and you lay there on your tummy, your butt perked in the air.
 "Maaaax," you drew out his name, waiting for him to do something. Max was stroking his length and this time it was his turn to get a good look of your naked body that he had missed so much.
 "Patience." he scolded, giving your ass a spank. You let out a yelp as the coolness of his rings slapped against your warm skin. That was sure to leave a bruise.
 "Fuckkk Max, I need you inside me now," You begged and started to rub yourself against the blankets on the bed, desperate for some kind of friction to ease the overwhelming sensation you were feeling.
 He spanked you again and you let out another yelp. "You will be patient," he warned again. "Are you a good girl?"
 "Yes Max," you sung, sweetness dripping from your tongue.
 "Good girls don't talk back. Now get on all fours." You listened to his instruction, scrambling to your knees and resting on your elbows. "Spread your legs. I want to look at you." You obeyed him, knowing that if you dared to speak up again he'd issue another spanking.
 Maxwell stroked himself while drinking in the sight of you. Your folds glistened under the light and Maxwell couldn't rid himself of the pride he was feeling. "All for me?" He mumbled, and aligned his cock against your entrance. You tossed your head back at the feeling of his tip nudging against you.
 "All for you." you confirmed in a whisper. Maxwell wrapped his arms underneath you and started fondling with your breasts before suddenly, and in one swift movement, thrusting inside of you.
 Your breathing hitched at the sensation of his long thick cock stretching your walls. "Oh shit Max," you moaned in pleasure. "Shit shit shit," you panted as he kept thrusting deep inside you with consistent movements. Tears pricked your eyes as he hit your g-spot with every thrust, not hilting once. He knew exactly how to make you feel good. You begged for him to go harder and he brought his hands up to your head, grabbing your hair and roughly pulling your back into his chest. You let your head fall into his shoulder as he continued fucking you, his arms holding you tight around your stomach.
 You loved hearing the noises Max made. There was something so satisfying about listening to the CEO of one of the biggest and reputable companies in the whole world, fall apart because of you. Because of your body. "Are you- fuck, you're close aren't you? I can feel it." Maxwell groaned and you whimpered back in agreement, letting your head lilt into the crook of his neck. "Baby girl, fuck you feel so good. So tight around me. Fuck."
 "G-gonna cum," you gasped, trying to catch your breath.
 "Me- me too," Maxwell replied through gritted teeth. "Can I, can I cum inside of you?"
 "Fuck Max, you don't need to ask. Please. Please fill me up." You begged.
 With only a few more thrusts, Maxwell came inside you, filling you with warmth and leaving you shuddering as you came down from your own climax. He stayed there for a moment, holding still inside you, wanting to make sure every last drop resided deep within you before he softened and slipped out of you. You moaned at the loss of his length. He turned you over on the bed and positioned his face in between your legs.
 "What are you- what are you doing?" you asked him. Before you could say anything else, you felt him bury his thick index finger inside of you. "Fuck," you gasped. "Maaaaaax."
 Max was watching your pussy intently, and as his cum began to drip out of you, he pushed it back in. "You're so perfect," Max said in admiration, still staring at your glistening wet folds. "You know that?"
 "I can't wait to go home with you." you sighed as relief and contentment washed over you for the first time in forever.
 "Can't wait to start a new life with you," Maxwell smiled and your mind buzzed with confusion. "You're all I need. This. This right here is what I need. My- my job has given me enough wealth to live more than comfortably for the rest of my life. I know that, no matter what, I will be able to provide for you. And for our children, and grandchildren, and great grandchildren…" Maxwell trailed off and you couldn't wipe the elated smile from your face.
 "Children?" you asked him, eyes lighting up.
 "Look at you," he grinned, a dimple appearing in his cheek. He pressed a soft, sweet kiss to the inside of your thigh. "I think you'd be the greatest mother in the world. You take care of me well enough, that's for sure. So kind. So gentle. Such a good heart. You make me into a better person. Our kids would be so lucky to have a mother like you. I want a family."
 You sniffed, sitting up and shuffling toward him. "Oh Max, I love you so much." you gave him a teary smile before falling into his chest and curling up on top of him.
 "I love you too, darling."
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cheeriecherry · 3 years
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I love your work so much!! I love how you handled the student x teacher request, given that I had some misgiving towards it, but I love how you write it!! May I request sum ,, Tamaki hc's? both nsfw and sfw?? The idea of him being a lowkey dom and confident behind closed doors is just 👌 I love you! Hope you have a good one today, and eat lots of delicious food!
Ofc!
Requests are temporarily closed while I catch up on them!
Warnings: nsfw below the cut, some like dom/sub mentions but it’s p tame bc im a vanilla bean lol
SFW
-Anxious bean. I relate to him lol
-He’s such a good boyfriend tho, ngl. He’s quiet and soft most of the time, and he’s really attentive to you and good at listening. He’s kind and sweet and treats you well and with respect.
-You’re one of the most important people in his life! You and Mirio! So it probably won’t be strange if you end up befriending the blond too, like, he’s just so easy to get along with and Tama would be so happy if his two favourite people were on good terms.
-Dates are usually pretty low key, going out for quiet lunches or to niche places that aren’t usually densely populated. Sometimes you guys will go to the mall to shop around, but that’s more rare. He prefers quieter and more intimate places, where he can talk to you and spend time with you.
-Once you guys move into the dorms, it becomes a little harder to go on actual dates, so you have to make the most of it. Study dates, video game dates, just hanging out in the same room and doing your own things dates, walks around the gardens, picnics under a tree on the weekends. Sometimes even training!
-You guys probably have sleepovers a lot, where you cuddle up in a mound of pillows and watch crappy movies. Bonus points if it’s a scary movie! Creepy stuff doesn’t really bother him, but the jumpscares always get him, even if they’re obvious. He has to hide his face in your shoulder for several minutes after one happens, which means it’s optimal for cuddling.
-Absolute cuddle bug. He’s kind of nervous about physical contact at first, but once you ease into it in small increments, it becomes really important to him. Catch him out there with his arm around your waist or your hands linked together, hugs and cheek kisses before class. Even on the weekends, he’ll come to your room and flop on your bed, looking at your with puppy eyes until you come over and lay beside him and let him hold you.
-He’s not huuuuge on graphic PDA, and wouldn’t do anything scandalous in public, but he likes having a hand on your or sitting closer than friends would. It might be subtle, but a little piece of him wants everyone to know that you’re taken, and that he’s proud to be seen with you, even if his gestures are small.
-He’s also really good at comfort. If you’ve had a bad day, or are just stressed about something, he’ll let you talk to him about it in detail, and he’ll really listen. Sometimes he’ll give you advice if you want it, sometimes he’ll offer to help you (if it’s something like schoolwork or you’re falling behind in training), other than that, he’ll let you know that he’s a safe place for you to come to and be heard.
-If you’ve also got some kind of anxiety, and aren’t able to do something, his own fears are suddenly less strong. Like, he understands what it’s like, and he wants you to be able to get what you need, so he’ll put up with his fears for your sake. Even if you both have to go home and lay down after and complain to each other about how much anxiety sucks.
-Once he’s comfy around you, he comes out of his shell big time. He’s still quiet, but at the same time he’s the friend who never shuts up once you get to know them. When it’s just the two of you, or you and Mirio, he’s always saying something about something, telling you about his day, asking about yours, wondering your opinions on things. It really shows how much he trusts you.
-Make sure you tell him you’re proud of him, and be genuine about it! Praise him for things he’s accomplished in spite of his anxiety, and tell him what you love about him. Hearing those things out loud from someone whose opinion he values really means a lot to him, and silently tells him that you see him and see how hard he works.
NSFW
-Like casual affection, sex if a thing you gotta work up to, and slowly. He’s super nervous at first, because he really has no idea what he’s doing and he’s too shy to look it up, but he really wants it to be good for you too.
-He knows like, the basics of how it works, he’s not completely clueless. He just doesn’t know the intricacies or tells of your body. You’ll have to be really verbal and honest with him about how he makes you feel. It’ll prove to him that he’s making you feel good, and also rile him up. 
-The first few times you guys sleep together, it’s kind of messy and he’s embarrassed as hell and neither of you last very long. There’s probably some awkward moments where one of you makes a weird sound and you both burst out in giggles, or one of you gets a cramp at the worst time.
-But you guys keep trying, because he really loves how close he feels to you during those moments, both physically and emotionally. Plus it’s just fun, y’know? It passes the time, it’s a good workout, and you guys get to learn even more about each other.
-It’s not for a while that you learn he’s got a more dominant streak sometimes. Most of the time it’s a pretty equal playing field, with both of you giving and taking and asking and demanding, but sometimes he’s had a rough day, or he’s just feeling particularly bold or lustful.
-He won’t order you around too much, but he’ll definitely make suggestions or what he’d like you to do, and imply that if you do it you’ll get a reward. As if doing as he says isn’t reward enough. He’ll definitely be more vocal during those times, saying filthy things to you and telling you how good you look on your knees/wrapped around him/etc.
-And he always makes sure to reward you when you do good.
-He’s not so big into negative or super painful punishments if you defy him. Like, he doesn’t want to leave you crying, even if that’s something you want, I just can’t see him wanting to genuinely hurt you that much. He still has a soft and tender heart.
-But say....he tells you not to come, or not to touch yourself, and you do it anyways, then he’ll turn your rewards into a punishment. Like oh, you want to come? Okay, he’ll give you as many orgasms as you want and then some, until you’re overstimulated and begging for him to stop. He won’t stop, unless you safeword him, or until he’s satisfied you’ve learned your lesson.
-He’s not opposed to light painful punishments though, like spanking you until your ass is sore and making you count each smack for him, or putting little heart shaped clamps on your nipples to make them super sensitive, or holding a vibrator against you while he curls his fingers inside you, only to pull it away at the last second and leave you hanging.
-Ngl it’s kind of hot when he gets confident, and having him control you a little bit makes you needy. For rewards? For punishments? Who knows, but he’s happy to dish them both out depending on how you behave.
-No matter what kind of sex you guys have though, aftercare is always important to him. Cleaning each other up, cozying up together in bed, sharing pillowtalk and soft touches and gentle smiles. He just really needs some kind of emotional intimacy to go along with the act, whether it’s during or after the fact. He wants to make sure you know that he loves you a lot (as if him treating you like an angel didn’t already show you).
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theepitomeofamess · 2 years
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okay, i wanna share this because it really made me feel good.
so at work maybe a week or two ago (i'm a shift lead at a chain pizza place) i saw a delivery driver i hadn't had a shift with in a while. i've been working on my people-ing, and we'd gotten along well when both our shifts ran long and we ended up doing dishes together, enough so that he'd asked my advice on something before, so i figured he's someone i could go to and fairly easily practice talking to people that aren't really in my life or friend group.
so, i went up and asked how he's been. he said something to the effect of "not great, i've kind of been having a depressive episode for a while." me being me, having known people and been a person that struggles with depression (i'd been in a funk because of stuff that week, too), asked him if he needed anything -- food, to rant for a bit, a distraction, anything like that. he said yes to the distraction, so i started talking about my week and joking with him because it was slow enough that i could. he had to leave on a delivery after a couple of minutes, but i'd go fold boxes and talk to him now and then. while he was starting his out task and i was prepping to leave, he asked if i could make him something for him to take home. i said "of course", made it, and told him it was on the heat rack on my way out (shift leads/ managers get free meals and i never use mine 'cause i'm not a huge fan of the food, so i put it under my name so he didn't have to pay. food always helps, if you ask me)
yesterday was the first shift i've seen him after that, and while i was helping clock him in, i asked how he was doing since i last saw him. he answered "better. i was actually already doing better maybe half an hour after we talked. it was really nice, actually, knowing that somebody cares. especially a manager, it's rare in my experience that people in charge actually care about their employees. so, thanks for that. it helped" something to that effect, and i told him i was glad to have helped. and i am, i'm glad to think that i helped him just by talking with him and giving him a distraction that worked quickly and potentially being a sort of promise to help lift him up slightly through the week. i let him know somebody cared enough to ask and offer. it might not be somebody in his immediate vicinity, not somebody he's close to, but it's somebody. and y'know what? hearing that it helped him just about made my day, i'd had a shitty shift but just hearing that i'd helped him made it where i was able to smile without it being masking. that genuinely made me happy.
i guess this is one of those "be the person you needed when you were younger" situations. if you wish you'd had someone who just cared enough to ask, then just find someone and ask. they'll probably be grateful you did.
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ephemeral-sorrow · 3 years
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The Sweetness of Frenemic Love
Sometimes the strangest thoughts enter my head and make me write something bizarre but really touching at the same time. :D
pairing: Lilly x Male!MC
summary: It`s one step from hatred to love.
warning: a bunch of fluff  ;)
Have you ever experienced resentment towards someone you`ve never met in real life? 
Felt irritation and anger bubble up inside your head like lava slowly filling the volcano to the brim, almost turning your eyes into two sizzling hot coals? 
Lilly had been familiar with these disgusting sensations even before she got to knew MC - the obnoxious stranger Hannah sent her number to and the one who managed to infiltrate their group and spread insurgency among everyone and everything around. Her sister`s disappearance ruined their peaceful lives, putting Lilly and her parents into huge stress, when each day with news even more horrible than on previous one, took away all their hope. So, to conclude it all, a completely unknown weirdo, who gained access to different sorts of information as well as trust of her blindly oblivious friends, now was sticking his nose into other people`s business without pangs of conscience.
The way things were progressing kept Lilly infuriated and incredibly... depressed. She refused to admit that to herself, but she was even angrier because of her own helplessness. She wanted to do something useful and finally get a clue that might come in handy or at least set things up so that the investigation would be faster and more efficient. However, guys from the group already had their own theories, sources and clues, took part in various events and furthermore, acted carelessly, not paying attention to threats.  ... They made it clear that Lilly`s advice was pointless, just like her participation.
That`s why the mere thought of some stranger doing more for Hannah than her family made something snap inside, clouding Lilly`s judgement and true character with boundless spite. Not to mention, pure fear engulfed her at the suggestion that MC may be the real culprit, and here, cards played so flawlessly right into his hands...
                                                       *     *     *
Now it was a completely different story, and it was kind of hard to believe that was how she used to think of him only a year ago. A lot happened, making those restless days seem like a distant memory or rather a thrilling movie, characters of which were another people, portrayed in another places and time.
“So, what do you make of my new car?”
Lilly blinked, snapping out of her flooding thoughts and returned her attention to the cup of chocolate icecream with gente, pink frosting before her -  and finally, stared at the rest of the group, that made themselves comfortable at the cafe table. Today was the celebration on account of Dan`s grandiose purchase - dashing, brand new Audi A3 model. It costed him a fortune but didn`t lessen his enthusiasm nor pride(having exited the hospital as soon as possible, he spent a great deal of effort in finding a good job AND cutting down on alcohol). As a result, every time he ordered apple juice at the Rainbow cafe he declared: “Cool dudes drink only juice!”.
“Dan, that was the hundredth time you`ve asked this question”, despite the fake bored tone, Cleo wore an amused smile, dropping her usual strictness.
“What can I possibly do when all of you are so short-spoken?” Dan dramatically leaned back on the soft cushion. “I need details. Not talking about this pretty girl is a sacrilege”.
“If she was mine, I`d call her ‘babe’ “, ice cubes softly clincked against the glass, as Richy thoughtfully twisted his cocktail in his hand. “And the quiet purrs of her engine are the same as a hearbeat--”
“Now, now, you`re just being ridiculous!” Hannah`s melodic laugh ringed before drowning in the chatter of the crowded cafe. Lilly`s insides warmed up upon seeing her sister smiling sweetly in the Thomas` embrace. She was safe and sound, cheerful and full of love for the surrounding world. Everything was back to normal and it made Lilly genuinely happy--
She felt hot breath pleasantly tickle her ear before a crisp, familiar voice sensually whispered to her:
“I don`t know about others, but if you asked me, the only ‘babe’ I see is you”.
Lilly couldn`t really help the flush that spread on her neck, so she coughed, pretending to be extremely interested in her icecream, which was already starting to melt.
She casted a quick glance at the man beside her, attempting to look unfazed by his sudden compliment only to be met with his mischievous, affectionate eyes.
“MC, we`re... we`re in public”, she whispered back rather shyly.
“You were kind of dreamy while looking at Thomas and Hannah, so I decided to remind you that you didn`t come here alone”.
“Hmph”, Lilly pouted, fixing the fallen lock of her hair. “as if I need your tasteless remarks to cheer up. You should come up with something more original”.
MC laughed airily, flashing his signature confident smirk. Lilly took a small breath, furrowed her delicate brows and turned away stubbornly, turning a deeper shade of red. She didn`t like her heart clenching bittersweetly at his actions, especially in front of her unsuspecting friends. It was difficult to keep a perfectly composed face.
“I`ll cook you Peking meat by my special receipt tonight”, MC continued as if nothing had happened, absentmindedly observing the lively conversation between Jessy, Dan and Thomas, and how Cleo was showing Hannah something on the phone.
“I’ll take it as an invitation to your house?” Lilly inquired. “Why are you so sure I`m going to accept it?”
“Oh please, sweetie, do you want me to list all reasons in front of so many people?” His expression was calm and serious, but Donfort knew better: he was mercilessly teasing her, not caring about precautions at all.
Lilly hit his leg under the table, earning a triumphant ‘ouch’ in response.
                                                     *     *     *
Later that evening at his place, after having had a fair piece of the most delicious meat she has ever eaten, Lilly was helping MC to wash the dishes, drying the shiny plates with a cloth and placing them into the cupboard. He was mumbling a delightful tune under his breath. She glanced at his features. Somehow simply being with this person made her forget about all troubles. But what about him?
“MC”, Lilly tried to sound not too curious. 
“Yes?”
“Why did you choose me of all girls? I mean... I`ve never thought that you might become interested in me after what I did to you a year ago with that video and vote. Like in person, let alone a woman. You`ve been best friends with Jessy from the start, so it would`ve been logical if you two have had a thing”.
“To be honest with you, your brother said the same”, he smiled with the corners of his mouth. “What I found in you”.
“Excuse me, what!?” the girl exploded with outrage, dropping the cloth out of surprise. “Jake, that little jerk!! He`s supposed to back me up in situations like this!”
MC was holding his laughter for his dear life or he would inevitably get a handful but frankly, it was getting harder.
“What did you reply? Come on, I want to know!!” Lilly was worried and frustrated at the same time, looking at him impatiently and expectantly, like a little kid who desired to know their present for birthday.
“You seem so desperate-- HAHAHA, I CAN`T!”
Lilly groaned and threw a sponge at him on full speed, not bothering that it was still wet and full of soap. What was so funny when all she wanted to hear was these important words of confirmation?
MC cleaned his face and came closer.
“I replied that you`re the one who understands me. The one who always makes my day brighter. Also you are kind and candid”, his palm rested against her cheek, tenderly caressing it, as she leaned for his touch.
“I can often be impulsive and sharp”.
“That doesn`t make you worse. You always speak your mind. I think it`s admirable. Not to mention, you are a truly charming and elegant woman”.
She didn`t let MC finish his sentence because their lips collided in a soft, albeit passionate manner. Lilly lived up to her statement - this kiss was spontaneous and full of feeling. She traced his wide shoulders, stopping when her hands found their place in his unruly hair, slightly tugging at it. 
They parted once they ran out of air.
“Jake additionally said my romantic confession would lead to this”.
“Ugh, you`re terrible!!”
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cloveroctobers · 3 years
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GENEVIEVE ALIU —
IG info/bio: @/genevealiu1 | 19k followers | currently on a journey as a junior doctor living in 🇦🇺🤎 | blm.card.co🖤 | sk💛
26 years of age
Born and raised in Glastonbury, England
Pisces sun? + libra moon?
Mother is Guyanese and works for a non-profit organization
Her father is Nigerian and works in property management
has one older brother who is a Prosthetist and resides in Nigeria with his pregnant fiancée
She can’t wait to be a auntie!!!
And a younger sister who is a medical laboratory technician
To say the least, their parents were happy that their children fell into the medical field. Based on their cultures it was a honor to have their children in these professions
Vieve grew up with a sassy demeanor and her parents have old videos on their camcorders to prove it lol, it never fails that the pair brings out the embarrassing vids during the holidays but vieve genuinely appreciates them 
Although thanksgiving is a RACIST American thing, vieve never misses the opportunity to share what she’s thankful for in life and counts all of it as blessings! But it’s still fuck the pilgrims
Has held a friendsgiving before, loves any moment where she can host gatherings or attend them! either is quite fine. She loves being around people
the only time she likes to look back on the past is to see how she and her family carried themselves then and how the evolved into who they are now, it’s interesting to see
Loves “how it started vs how it’s going” posts and might have participated in a few
Always knew from a young age that she wanted to help people in some way, she was always doing something to help around the house and especially her aging/sickly grandparents
Felt offended that many people around school that she thought were her friends would stab her in the back labeling her as this “fake saint” since she rather spend her time volunteering instead of going to house parties in hs
Don’t get it twisted, she still went to those too & had her fun but definitely felt like it was the same routine and nothing ever felt fulfilling at these functions after awhile
Well known with all the cliques around school but had her own group of friends that fit into many of those cliques but she never felt obligated to stick to one social group. If you were nice and cool with her, she was the same to you, if you weren’t? Depending on her mood, she’d ignore you/say things under her breath or be “fake nice” as a form of being the bigger person
Has a curly hair routine that she consistently follows (after struggling to find the right products to make them flourish) and gets annoyed with if her curls don’t turn out the way she knows they can, it’s always frustrating when things don’t turn out the way you want them to but isn’t afraid to at least try
Three times is the charm! Is one of her mottos
loves bright colors, flowy attire, big hats, brimmed hats, bucket hats, berets, etc...
Has faced racism/prejudices and bullying growing up in public spaces—mostly school/uni & some of those same hatred actions online now that she’s dating seb
Because of that there were times where she felt insecure but deff grew to forgive, heal, and rise above the hate, she knows her worth
Has never been happier in a relationship than she is with seb, he’s her “moody long-haired, soft-hearted bby”
they’re both complete fools for each other and vieve is more vocal about her being in love/finding her soulmate whereas seb doesn’t mind showing it rather than speaking it—even tho he’s on a podcast but we mind our business okay?!
Seb is thinking of moving to Australia with vieve, he’s ready to risk it all for this woman, HIS woman 🤩
canon: gives more than she should/taken advantage of/not reciprocating in relationships... ex) how she dated a guy that she did everything for! especially financially and also struggled to find her worth but once she did? Her aura shined brighter than before— Ik chill out there Rocco
Also believes in loving yourself first to attract what you need in this world and found that in her career and seb. I hope they’re endgame! Since they’re the only couple I rooted for this season? Except for tai & ciaran maybe? They’re probably not endgame but whatever
They still get nervous/shy around each other even tho they’ve been together for months now + are in a long distance relationship which is too cute! I think since they’re in this for the long game they can look back on moments and still feel the way they felt in that moment. You know if you get the chance or have already heard elderly people talk about their relationships and how they get all starry eyed? That’s vieve & seb, that shit gets me right in my feels ew
Vieve’s love language is quality time, it’s what she shows and likes along with acts of service from her partner
Makes the best jollof rice & her fav dish is Metemgee
Trying to be on a plant-based diet only but will have her cheat days on occasion—mostly when she’s drunk and forgets her diet plan lmao that’s me getting double cheeseburgers or anything with dairy drunk af
now living in Australia, she tried to like vegemite but...the it’s a no for her, respectfully ofc! She never wants to disrespect anyone
besides the food, the atmosphere is much nicer since she feels like she’s on a holiday almost everyday and that there’s much more to see and do when she has the time
Loves the beaches and is thinking about surfing lessons
yes she enjoys those doctor shows and can agree that most scenarios are not the same as rl ofc but great question!
Since she’s a junior doctor now, and on her way to graduation! She feels so accomplished and having this chance to complete what she’s wanted her whole life in a different place, makes her super emotional
All those stressful all-nighters will be worth it. She mostly did it on her own but is nothing but humble and Is thankful to those that have helped her along the way, what kind of person would she be if she didn’t mention them?
and when COVID hit, she was one of many already on the frontlines. Her studies became altered but this wouldn’t stop her for her mission on this earth, this was her purpose and she knew we would conquer it all—but definitely has empathy and gets angry with how it’s being handled from time to time
She’s been exposed to it first hand which aboustely worries her parents, seb, her friends, and friends from the villa
Keeps up to date when all medical news, has a whole app dedicated to health
Learning French with some of her free time and is doing well at it
It was only natural for her to become closer to elladine since their men are homies and have a podcast together
They’ve hung out a few times on a double dates before the boat vacation & once just as girls before vieve left to Australia
Vieve is always offering advice but knows that every relationship is different and what works for her and seb won’t work for elladine and Nicky, she loves them together and knows everyone has bumps in the road
feels there’s some sort of tension between her and Harry now? Which she found a little off putting since they were supposed to be friends but she realizes that Harry has a condition but it’s also not an excuse for him to treat her shitty sometimes which he does and feels like it comes out of nowhere most times but he always apologizes yet vieve is slowly getting tired of this unhealthy habits
So they’re talking less these days, which he notices!
She wants Harry to find his happiness too! If he hasn’t found it in mc first that is
has met Tim— he’s a great laugh and seems like a nice guy—they follow each other, talia and jake in person when she was out with seb—they were also super nice and congratulated them on their win, she went up to miles once on a night out—he’s still a arsehole, priya reached out to her via dm about her new boutique that she wanted her to model in someday, Hope was just as stunning in person along with Siobhan, Chelsea & mc s2 were also kind, and a couple of the guys also wished her and seb well
She’s also noticed some of the shit talking coming from Elisa, Allegra, Lucy, and mc s1 (subtle shade from mc, basically about how vieve reacted if mc decided to give Harry a go but that was only brought to her attention thru fans) online but again, vieve peeped it and felt majority of it didn’t require a response. She was too happy in life rn and she had a man and they don’t
Plans to get a komondor, thinks they’re super cute! — seb does not “if you love me, you’ll love our child.” “It’s a bloody mop dog! And I’m a cat dad, you know that!” “Don’t talk about him like that, he’s got feelings just like your cat babies!”
I feel like she’s a matcha & Frappuccino lover, tries to keep her drinks simple and feels guilty when she has to make adjustments but the heart wants what it wants
Mini Countryman owner, she also drives like a “granny” better safe than sorry! She hates fast drivers, there’s absolutely no need for it!
Minimal makeup: eyeshadow, moisturizer, & a nude lip and she’s good to go
Secretly obsessed with among us, second life, and SIMS!!!
Celeb crushes? Heath ledger, Tyler posey, KENDRICK SAMPSON, Jordan fisher, Algee smith, Donald Glover, Mack Wilds, Khleo Thomas, Robert Ri’chard, Tahj Mowry, & Hasan Minhaj
Listens to: DaniLeigh, ABIR, Mary J. Blige, TORI KELLY, Us the duo, 11:11, Jacob Latimore, fifth harmony, joya mooi, & Greentea Peng, etc...
Anthem: The Cheetah Girls — Cinderella
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ohthatsviolet · 3 years
Text
Oasis
Pairing: Loba/Mirage 
Words: 1,656
Summary: Their relationship was meant to be something easy and casual but when Loba begins to fall for Elliott, nothing scares her more than her own feelings.
Ao3 link will be in the RBs. Reblogs > Likes. 
Loba could hardly bear to look over her shoulder at the sleeping individual behind her. Her nails dug into the mattress as she sat with hunched shoulders on the edge of the bed. 
She was tempted, but she knew if she looked she wouldn’t be able to resist climbing back into bed with him, just to feel the warmth of his skin against hers. She couldn’t let herself do that. It would just make all of this so much harder. She could almost imagine what he looked like. He would be lying on his stomach, with one arm tucked securely under his pillow. He would have rolled out of the blankets and the sheet would be twisted around his legs and barely covering the curve of his backside; it was the way she’d wake-up to find him most mornings, which was the beginning of her problem.
Their relationship had begun as a fun, occasional thing. It was a nice way to spend her free time and that was all it was ever meant to be. But as the weeks began to pass, Elliott had begun to spend almost every night by her side. What was supposed to be the occasional night spent between the sheets to blow off some steam after a particularly long day, turned to quiet evenings spent listening to her favourite songs, over a candle-lit meal and a bottle of wine the trickster would have proudly chosen himself. He’d tell her stories about growing up on Solace and she’d listen and laugh along, but she’d do it genuinely; not the way she’d pretend to when cosying up to someone she wanted something from. He loved cooking for her, singing softly into her ear while they playfully danced around the penthouse and encouraging her to take her shoes off and just relax.
And she loved him for it.
She wished she could spit the words from her mouth and they’d leave her system and float away with the early morning breeze. She had to get out of there. It wouldn’t be the first time Elliott would awake in her apartment alone. She was a busy woman and he respected that. Bastard. Why did he have to be so...him? Loba had decided to take a walk to clear her head but ended up taking to the rooftops instead. It’s where she felt most at peace; sailing through the sky and stopping to occasionally perch herself somewhere out of sight, so she could look down at the world below. Usually, she’d do this when trying to spot someone with something she wanted. But today, she just wanted to observe. The city wasn’t very busy at this time of day, but there were a few people pottering around. They were probably just about to start their day, going to work and such; doing normal, everyday things. She wasn’t sure if she envied them or not. She definitely wouldn’t have once. But now...No. She couldn’t let herself fall into that mindset.
This was all Elliott’s fault. Her life had been so simple, in a sense, before he’d come along. She’d always known exactly what she wanted out of life. Her goal and life path was to avenge her parents’ deaths and put a stop to that demonio for good. But for the first time in many years, she felt so unsure. She wondered if they would have liked him. Mamãe would have. Papai would probably question him on what he had to offer her, before turning soft when he saw the child-like sparkle in her eyes whenever he was near. She felt like everything was so blurred now, like she was crawling through a storm and the only oasis she could see was him; but she couldn’t tell if she should waste precious time clawing towards him or accept that it was all just a mirage and move on. Hmph. How fitting. She shook her head as if trying to physically shake the intrusive thought away. She couldn’t think like this. She knows her parents would want her to stay focused on the job at hand. ‘Life can be hard. Especially the way we live it.’ She never quite understood the second piece of her mother’s advice until now. She had to deal with this while she still had the strength to do it.
It was late into the day when she’d arrived back at the penthouse. She was half-hoping Elliott would have taken a ship home by now. She wasn’t sure if he was scheduled to tend his bar tonight. Loba could feel the tension beginning to creep into her shoulders as soon as she stepped inside and heard the clattering of cutlery. Elliott was at the sink, washing up their discarded dishes from the night before. He looked up as soon as he heard the clicking of her heels on the tiles and smiled. “Hey. I thought you were gone on a job or something. If I knew you’d be back so soon, I would’ve gotten dinner started. You never replied to my text so I just assumed…” He trailed off when he noticed she wasn’t looking at him but was looking away and to the side, with her arms folded tightly over her chest. Elliott wiped the suds from his hands on a nearby dish towel before taking a tentative step towards her.   “Is everything...okay?” She wanted to tell him that he was the problem but she knew in her heart that wasn’t true. None of what she was feeling was his fault. He’d been nothing but gentle and kind to her and it was killing her that she couldn’t offer him the same treatment. Elliott hadn’t done anything wrong; this was all on her.
“I can’t do this anymore,” she said, after an agonisingly long pause for the both of them. “I just...I want you to leave.” The trickster’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Why...I thought...Did I do something wrong?” Her nails dug into her upper arm. She wanted to lie and say he had. She wanted to make up some excuse and say something that would make him hate her. She wanted to tell him that he was too clingy, too selfish and the thought of ever climbing into bed with him or being held by him again made her feel sick to her stomach. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it; the hurt that was slowly creeping into his features was almost too much for her to take as it was. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I want you gone. So leave.” She turned her back on him after that, unable to look at those sad, brown eyes for a moment longer. She waited to hear him drag his feet away but he took a step closer instead. “No.” “Excuse me?” “No, I won’t...I won’t leave. Not until you tell me why you want me to go.” Anger was beginning to boil in her stomach but it wasn’t directed at him. It was because of this situation she’d found herself in. Still, that anger needed to be unleashed somewhere and he was standing on her warpath, so it all came pouring down on him, like an over-boiling pot on a stove. “Just get out! Go home!” she began, whirling on him. “I do not want you here! What part of that can you not understand?!” “The part where you’re suddenly breaking up with me for no reason!” “I’m not breaking up with you because we were never together!” Loba hissed. “I’m simply putting an end to...whatever this is...was.” “Just...tell me why,” Elliott whispered, his tone desperate and the waver in his voice obvious. “Because I’m falling for you!” she said, before she had a chance to stop herself. “And that...that terrifies me.”
A stunned silence fell over them both. The space between them was so quiet, Loba could swear she could hear the trickster swallow before speaking up. “You know I...care about you too, r-right? This...isn’t a bad thing.” “It doesn’t matter,” she said, sounding utterly defeated. “It doesn’t matter how we feel. This...can’t continue.” “Stop saying that!” Elliott said firmly, his fingers curling into fists at his sides. “It can! We just continue on like we were! Nothing’s changed.” “I was stupid to let it go on as long as I have,” Loba whispered with a shake of her head. “I have Revenant to deal with and just being around me puts you in danger. I can’t...I won’t drag you into my mess.” The trickster stepped towards her and she allowed him to take her hands in his own. “You’re not dragging me into anything. I want to be here. With you.” “Elliott…” Her gut told her to pull away when he leaned his forehead against hers but her heart wouldn’t allow it. She blinked a few times in an attempt to hold back the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes, while Elliott closed his like he was about to make a wish. “Please don’t make me go.” Loba couldn’t resist the urge to reach up and cup his face, skimming her thumb lightly through his beard. “I can’t give you the life you want.” “You are the life I want.” She nodded in acceptance. If he was willing to fight for her, she should return the favour. She owed him that much at least. Loba sucked on her lower lip and inevitably lost the battle against her emotions. He held her close and she clung to him as tears began to stream down her face, her sobs coming out as broken, choked howls as years of anguish and loneliness crashed over her like a tidal wave. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” Elliott murmured into her ear, his fingers tracing gentle circles into her back. “I’ve got you.
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alexiethymia · 4 years
Text
the secret
title: the secret
souma is out of his depth [hints of ryoali, eishirin, isshinene]
ooo
Many would say that Souma always acted before thinking. But that wasn’t right at all. Sure, he could be impulsive, and he was often more a man of action. If it got into his head to do something, then he’d do it. But he could get lost in his thoughts like the rest of them.
But maybe not like this.
It’s been a couple of days since Nakiri beat him at BLUE. He can’t say he regrets any of his actions, but in the aftermath, he finds himself restless. He’s not in any sort of slump - in fact there’s an undercurrent of energy pushing him to do something. If only he knew what that something was. So no, it’s not for a lack of inspiration or motivation, but until he gets to the bottom of it, he can’t set his direction. No mater the circumstance, he’d have been pushing forward anyway, but why is it that after BLUE, the expanse suddenly seemed so vast that he could go anywhere, and yet at the same time he felt that everything at this point had only been wandering. Only now he’s itching to go somewhere?
What his old man and Asahi said keeping ping-ponging at the back of his mind. He’d be cooking like normal, but then it’d creep up on him, so much so that he was getting annoyed.
Well as he said, he’s a man of action. If there’s something that niggled at his curiosity, then he’d satisfy it
Though Souma doesn’t get rankled easily (preferring to do the teasing actually), it grates on him to remember Asahi treating him as if he was such a child. It  wasn’t like he was that much older than Souma. 
ooo
He decides to ask Hayama first.
“And why exactly have you come to me about this Yukihira?”
“Well,” Souma drawls, “I figured you’d be an expert since you have Shiomi-senpai and all.”
He gets treated to the rare sight of a flustered Hayama. He can’t tell if the other chef is blushing due to his dark skin, but he’s sure he doesn’t imagine him coughing after inhaling too much of the spices he was mixing.
This is only the second time he’s seen Hayama like this. The first, as if he could ever forget, was when the other boy won the Autumn Elections. The sheer relief he had on his face as he hugged the petite professor stuck with Souma for some reason. And the lack of that same professor during their own battle was probably a large factor in the other boy’s loss. People could say what they wanted but Souma wasn’t as blind as they thought he was. (He waves an image of a jeering Suzuki-sensei, no Asahi, saying ‘how dense’ away in irritation.) 
“Sorry,” Hayama coughs, “I guess I was just surprised, and coming from you.” He shakes his head, and Souma tries not to feel offended.
“I always thought there must have been a reason why Kurokiba and I lost to you. We were missing something back then.”
Before, Hayama would have said it was because he was better than them, but that’s isn’t so true now. For a while, he actually thinks about what Yukihira is saying. 
“I guess you’re right. Ever since I could remember - when I started to actually want to remember when life was suddenly worth living - Jun was there. She gave me purpose, and I just wanted to make her proud of me. More than anything, i wanted to see her happy eating my dishes.” 
Yukihira snorts. “Every time I feed her a dish that I think ‘this is gonna be it’, she only ends up crying.”
"So what brought this on-” But Hayama does a double-take. “Wait, who exactly are you talking about Yukihira-oi!”
But with a wave and a ‘thanks Hayama’, Yukihira is gone. 
ooo
“How long have you and Nakiri known each other?”
Kurokiba is in his off mode and so only raises an eyebrow lazily, as if asking. 
Souma thinks it’s pretty obvious which Nakiri he means. “Your Nakiri.” He can almost fool himself into thinking there are no implications in that statement whatsoever. 
“Oujo? I don’t really know how long. We’ve been battling each other since we were kids.”
“And what, you just decided to follow a random girl halfway across the world for some cooking battles?”
Kurokiba raises his brow again as if asking ‘your point?’ or maybe it’s along the lines of ‘like you can talk’. Whichever it is, he has to shrug in agreement.
“I’m just curious why someone like you who hates being ordered around ended up pledging lifelong service to a girl your age you even call ‘my lady’ unironically.”
Kurokiba looks at him like he’s grown a second head, and maybe he has. Even he has to admit that it’s out-of-character for him to be pushing the issue. In fact this whole venture has been something he’s been second-guessing, suddenly talking about feelings of all things. 
Kurokiba shrugs. “You wouldn’t get it,” He then stares at him like his boring holes into Souma that Souma just might actually end up fidgeting, “Or maybe you would.” “I thought I was some big hot-shot, the alpha of the pack. But then she made me realize that I was just a frog in a pond. I would’ve stayed like that, thinking my cooking was the best it could be, not even knowing I could still push my limits, if I hadn’t met her. She decided to take me with her to see the world. She put me in my place, when I thought I already knew it, and then I put her in hers, and that’s what we’ve been doing ever since. She cries and whines when she loses, but I’ve been the one staying by her side all this time so I’ve seen her at her loneliest.”
It’s the longest Souma has ever heard Kurokiba speak in his off mode. He sounds a bit angry at the last part, a bit like when he has his bandana on and Souma realizes he must be thinking of Azami separating the two cousins. 
It should surprise him, but it doesn’t, that he feels the same. It’s the same as the cool anger that sometimes gripped him towards Asahi in BLUE.
“So you have it backwards Yukihira, she was the one who did me a favor, and calling her ‘ojou’ is the least I can do for her. The rest is always staying by her side and continuing to push each other to our limits.” 
Kurokiba suddenly smirks and it’s such a rare sight on his normally droll face that it surprises Souma. “Anyway, you’re one to talk. You call your Nakiri-ojou a jouou.” 
There is absolutely no way Souma is suddenly feeling hot under the collar.
ooo
There is absolutely no way Souma is desperate.
But somehow, he even ends up phoning Tsukasa-senpai for advice.
“Rindou? Well she is a gourmand. She’s always eating interesting dishes, so if I don’t step up, she might grow bored of me.”
Tsukasa-senpai laughs and it is plain to Souma that he is as confident in his skills as ever. Clearly his senpai doesn’t imagine a situation where Rindou-senpai could ever grow bored of his cooking, and from what he knows of the brave barbarian, Tsukasa-senpai obviously has nothing to worry about on that front. How lucky. 
“If I didn’t see this world like she did I wouldn’t have even discovered all these tastes she’s tasted. After the regiment, I realized I’ve actually been really selfish when it comes to her. She always took care to experience my world, and I want to do that for her this time around.” His senpai chuckles warmly, sounding a completely different person from that nervous and self-centered elite he’d battled with what seems a lifetime ago. “It was actually seeing you and Nakiri-san together that made me realize that. So, thank you Yukihira-kun.”
For a moment their situations are reversed, and it’s Souma who ends up stuttering a ‘you’re welcome’ before the older boy hangs up. 
ooo
For some reason, Souma is exhausted, but he might have a masochistic streak in him (someone who constantly throws his dishes at the god tongue to get verbal tongue-lashings must have) because he also asks Isshiki-senpai. 
“Weren’t you I don’t know, a bit ticked off when Kinokuni-senpai was so sure you couldn’t win against Tsukasa-senpai?”
Isshiki-senpai is slicing eel at the Polar Star Dorm, and a lesser chef might have messed up on the cut with the sudden inquiry, but the slice is as straight as a ruler. His smile when he turns to Souma though is more enigmatic than usual to make up for his surprise. Souma has only ever seen him like this once, when Tsukasa-senpai interrupted the conversation he was having with Kinokuni-senpai. It had seemed important. 
“What brought this on Souma-kun? 
Isshiki-senpai to his credit doesn’t deflect in the many ways Souma knows he could have. He wonders if this is what Tadokoro feels like, playing ping-pong with him. 
“Just curious.”
Isshiki-senpai hums as if he knows more than he lets on, which of course he does. Souma ends up spilling since it’s not as if it was a secret. 
“Oh, so that’s what Jouichiro-san said. ‘A woman you want to give all your cooking to.’ If that’s the case, then Kinokuni is probably that person for me. She is the reason I started to enjoy cooking after all.” 
Souma feels second-hand embarrassment at how his senpai can say such things so casually.
“You actually reminded me of her Souma-kun. Kinokuni Nene gives her all to her passions. She doesn’t let anything distract her. That Kinokuni was always beautiful to me. When it seemed like she was lost, I just wanted to show her how fun cooking could be again, like she did for me. Little did I know I was the main cause of her despair. She was my life-saver and that’s how I repaid her,” he says rueful and with regret. 
“So it doesn’t bother you that she rejects you time and time again?” Souma asks genuinely curious and without admitting to himself (there’s been a lot of that going on lately) that he’s invested. 
“How harsh Souma-kun! Even I’m starting to get a little hurt. But, yes even then. At first I thought not giving my all would make her happy-”
“Senpai, no one would have been happy with that.”
Isshiki senpai seems to be, dare Souma say it, embarrassed. “Yes, well I know more than I did before. Now, I hold nothing back and it’s a bit like old times. She just gets this adorable furrow in her brow and pout when she loses.”
As Isshiki-senpai laughs, Souma starts to sympathize with Kinokuni-senpai a bit more. He means he always knew it, but his senpai really did have a sadistic streak huh? And though with everyone else, the soba master is as cutting as ice, with the heir of the West, she fumes in indignation. His senpai, brilliant though he may be, has his quirks, and seems to relish being treated differently than the rest, even if it is with more vitriol. 
Souma has to stop fooling himself. 
“So after all that, what now Souma-kun?”
He may still not fully understand his father’s and Asahi’s words (or he does but he isn’t ready to admit it yet), but he does know what he has to do. 
His world is still far too small for a girl who has tasted everything from every corner of it. 
He knows what he has to do, but he still expects the tongue-lashing. 
part 3 of snapshots in the life of an ice-queen and a demon king
next; not goodbye
erina hates when people leave
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Text
frozen hearts don’t thaw overnight
Tumblr media
(gif credits to @harringtown​, thank you!)
Summary:  After the break-up with Nancy, Steve isn’t sure how to spend his Sunday mornings. He finds himself in the diner you work at week after week
Word Count: 1.7k
Warnings: mentions of loneliness
⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★
Steve found himself in a never-ending battle with the cold. He hated the goosebumps and stiffness that it brought. Regardless of how many layers he wore, the wind found its way to his skin, frozen fingers running down his spine. No matter how many people he surrounded himself with, he always felt the coldness in their hollow laughs. He could turn on every light in his house, but, the shadows of simpler times lingered in the corners. His house was too big, any warmth dissipated in its sheer volume. 
Nancy was a candle, a small and steady flame that provided warmth and light. She was a comfort, someone who listened and paid attention. She invited him over for family meals that took place in a house full of life. The Wheeler house never felt empty, filled with Mrs. Wheeler’s homemade meals and genuine questions, sibling banter and occasional laughter, Holly’s wide eye gaze, and Mr. Wheeler’s unsolicited advice. As dysfunctional as the whirl-wind was, it the warmest Steve felt. 
The small flame burned for a while, long enough for Steve to get used to it. With a single breath, it was blown out. 
A single word, bullshit. 
It had been months, but the frost she left behind could not be shaken. Steve woke up to an empty house. The January morning air waited for him outside of his comforter, pouncing into his bones after he shrugged off the thick blanket. Sleep did its best to linger, clouding his vision and trapping warmth under his skin so he wouldn’t freeze. Steve would pull whatever sweatshirt he threw on closer to him as he walked down the stairs, footsteps echoing with each step. 
If this were months ago, he’d be rushing out the door, speeding off to Nancy’s house for Sunday brunch. He’d be glaring at Mike and trying whatever new breakfast casserole Mrs. Wheeler would subject him to. Nancy would give polite tight-lipped smiles, her hand would brush his bicep. 
Now, all that waits for him is an empty kitchen and a barely stocked fridge. As much as he’d gotten used to being alone, to cooking half-way decent meals for himself, to silent lonely meals, he couldn’t take it anymore. He had to get out. So like a moth to a flame, he sought out warmth. 
Steve grabs his keys off the hook and drives to the local diner.
 It was perfect. He could sit at a stool, no need to awkwardly ask for a table for one, order some hot food, and people watch. Sunday mornings brought all walks of life to the eatery; older couples share sticky buns and black coffee, parents groan as their children spill maple syrup on freshly pressed church clothes, hungover teenagers laugh as they piece together the night before. 
“Morning! What can I getcha?” A question plucks Steve from his wandering daze. He looks up to find your soft eyes. A white waitress hat, the one that resembles a paper boat, sits crookedly atop your head. He’s instantly entranced by your comforting energy, but realizes he can’t just soak it in, he needs to say something. 
“Um, can I get…” Steve quickly tries to scan the menu, hoping something jumps out to him in the next few milliseconds, “uh, a coffee with cream and sugar?” He looks up to you with a sheepish expression, as if his request was somehow odd and unreasonable. 
“Sure thing. Let me grab that, it’ll give you a bit more time with the menu.” you turn, off to get his coffee and a dish of cream cups and sugar. You’re gone just long enough to let Steve breathe and pick out his breakfast. You try not to over-analyze the somber energy that lingers around him as you set down the dishes and take his order. 
You and Steve didn’t really run in the same circles. Of course you knew of him, he was the king of Hawkins High himself, but you hadn’t known this Steve. This Steve had sunken shoulders and anxious eyes. As his trips to your diner became more frequent, you’d hope the puzzle pieces would fall into place, but it seemed like the opposite was happening. 
It was like watching a masterpiece flake away before your eyes. Every week more chips of paint would fall, the facade crumbling to reveal what was underneath, a sad and confused boy. 
You did pick up little things about what was underneath. You saw how he took his coffee, drowned in cream and sugar, a tower of empty cream cups assembled during his every visit. He held his mug with two hands when it rested on the counter, as if trying to warm up frozen fingertips. Loud noises and dogs barking made him stiff, his grip tightening on whatever was in his hand. He always took his eggs with hot sauce and dipped his potatoes in whatever was left. 
It seemed to be an especially harsh winter, not a week went by without flakes falling. Hawkins was covered in a thick blanket, the snow muffling and quieting the already sleepy town. Steve warmed despite the weather.  After weeks of sitting silently, observing others from his own little world, he tried to bring you into it. 
“Here is your ‘coffee’-” you laugh at the word, seeing as there was barely a drop of coffee amongst the cream and sugar, “and the number one. Need anything else?” You take your rehearsed pause you’ve learned to do after working here for so long. It was just enough time for patrons to look over what you delivered, or think of something they’ve needed since you last helped them. 
“Some warmer weather.” Steve gives a small chuckle to hide some of the seriousness behind his words. It seemed to be an endless winter, but the diner was always warm. You’re used to sarcastic answers like that from patrons, but this was the first time Steve’s joked around with you. 
“Well, l can call the weatherman, see if he can swing anything for ya.” If felt good to see a twinkle in his eyes, and not the distant grey that’s been plaguing them. He picks up his forks, pushing around some of his eggs. He shifts, taking a breath, contemplating his next moment.
“Has this seemed like an especially cold winter to you, too?” His gaze says on the plate, eyebrows knitted together, a small shake to his head. The lure was out, now to see if you’d humor him and bite. 
“Hm, maybe. To be honest, I don’t quite mind it. You know how hot it gets in here by now,” you draw another laugh from him. It feels like the two of you practically live amongst the checkered floor and coffee rings on the counter. “But when I’m not rocking this killer uniform, I usually have on one of the sweaters I knit.” 
A lopsided smirk pulls on Steve’s face, mischief flashing in his eyes. “You knit sweaters?” Steve’s smirk only widens as he notices you shift a bit, ready for your defensive words before they come.
“Ye-yeah. I do. What? It gives me something to do, and they’re warm.” You suddenly don’t know what to do with your arms, opting to cross them in front of your chest. In mere minutes the power dynamic has changed. Steve’s the one with witty comments while you’re left speechless. The sudden flip leaves you disoriented, and off to help other patrons.  
Weeks continued to pass, but winter held Hawkins with a firm grip. Spring wouldn’t be coming soon, but the diner was 24/7. It was always warm, not just from the grills but from the people. You and Steve had warmed up to one another. Long gone were the days of observing, now you couldn’t get him to shut up. You often got in trouble for talking to him too often, your manager joking that he was getting special treatment. 
The cold morning air still waited for Steve, but it didn’t seem to have the same edge. He was back to driving somewhere full of life and noise. Steve had found a place with smiling faces and people who cared about him again. He had a designated place to sit, where he’s expected and even anticipated. 
“Moring!” his voice especially chipper this Sunday. 
“Morning Steve!” you call from across the diner, scribbling his usual order on a ticket and handing it to the kitchen, not even needing to ask him what he wants. Before making your way behind the counter, you grab something from your bag. 
“Here” you place the brown paper package on the counter, along with his ‘coffee’ and fixings. 
“What’s this?” Steve raises his hands and eyebrows, eyes dancing from the string to your blushing cheeks. 
“Just open in” you insist, both for his sake and your own. His fingers make quick work of untying the twine you used and tearing through the paper. Underneath is something forest green and soft. He unfolds it to find a hand-made sweater. It takes a few moments to process, a few passes of his fingers against the stitches for him to realize what this means. 
“Did you make this, for me?” his question is soft as the snow outside the window. 
“No, it’s for Donna,” you giggle, nearly blinded by the light in his eyes when he looks at you. They’re wider than you’ve ever seen them, yet somehow harder to read than ever. A million emotions are welling behind them. The ice on his heart has melted, thawed by a new candle. 
“Thank you” is all he can say. It’s all-encompassing. Thank you for taking the time to make him a sweater, for helping him, for listening, for the food, for the laughs, for noticing him, for welcoming him, and for caring. He may be stuck in a never-ending battle with the cold, but now he had someone else on his team, and he was confident that they would be staying for a while.
⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★
taglist: @kurtsbuckethat @harrington-ofhawkins @nxncywheeler @cececroft​
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With Love, She.
Clang! Blaam! Boom! The echoing sounds of the utensils falling down startled her from her trance. ‘Ughhhh, he’s going to be furious again!’, she thought to herself, picking up the plates in a hurry. It was not the best of days for her. Lunch was not yet ready; the maid has not yet come and Nirav has once again spilled rice on the floor. Arun was about to come home and he would not be pleased with this work. And yet another load on her growing and immeasurable life. She cursed her father under her breath and began trotting the 3-way road again. ‘Hey, you! I am working so hard to maintain the house and you keep a petty fight for some rice? Today, it ends! You are going to clean up the mess!’, she exclaimed with suppressed anger. But then Nirav looked back at her, gave her a mischievous grin and ran out of the house in a flurry. ‘One day, that boy is going to get it from me. But what can I do? My heart doesn’t allow it.”, she told to herself. Exhausted, she returned to her usual chores with a half-hearted attitude. Cleaning the house, doing the dishes, is that my life? Don’t I have dreams? Shouldn’t I too reach failure and then work hard to rise? As she fell into the ever-growing abyss of her thoughts, her mind reached out and grabbed a memory. ‘Daddy, when will we go to the museum?’, the little girl cried at the top of her voice. Her father, in an ever-calming voice replied,’ Don’t you worry child! As long as this elephant is with you, he will ride you to the museum, with free lollipops!”, The girl was now laughing and calm with the help of the tickles from her daddy. On the rickshaw, she asked her father, “Daddy, yesterday I heard the 5th class girls cry about life in the corridor instead of studying. Humph, what cry-babies!”. The father burst out into laughter, responding with a question,” What do you thing life is sweetie?”. “Life is when Ms. Rose doesn’t give us homework and gives us ice-cream!”, she exclaimed in an innocent voice.” But what is life daddy?”, she repeated herself, her innocent and childlike mind wanting to know everything and being restless. Her father, now in a graver voice, replied,” Look at those puppies running frantically behind their mother with utmost love and hope that she will feed them. She does feed them, but without herself eating, knowing that her children come first, even more than her life. That’s life. It is the cruelest thing in the world, but when accompanied with a certain something it makes your life meaningful.’ “Ice cream?”, she answered the question diligently. “Haha-ha! No, my precious darling! Its love!”, he told her. “And remember, no matter what life gives you, remember that love always makes it what it is, and you get to decide what’s life and what’s love”. “Then I love love so much!”, she proclaimed to everyone. She continued to lick her lollipop joyously, unbeknownst to her what life was going to make her do. TTRRRRRRIINNNGGGG! The loud ringing of the doorbell startled her, causing her to cut her own finger a little on the skin. She grimaced in pain as she ran to answer the door. “Hey, sweetheart! Today was so stressful and boring! Could I get a cup of water please? And why is rice lying on the floor? Has Ritesh done this? How can he so irresponsible? Why have you not controlled him yet?”, came in the questions as Arun stormed inside the house from work. “I’ll take care of it, I’m sorry, had a lot of work today.”, she replied trying to stop the bleeding simultaneously. “Did you just cut yourself? How can you be so careless, huh? Sometimes I feel like life is so cruel, always doing this to me!”, Arun castigated her. All she could do was give back a fake smile as Arun brought the bandages. She felt a little comfort even though the wound was stinging a lot. “Let me go buy today’s dinner from outside, you take some rest.”, Arun convinced her. As soon as Arun was gone, she was back to cleaning the dishes, wiping an invisible tear off her eye. Damn you, dad! Why did you have to leave me so early? If it wasn’t for that rickshaw accident that
day, you would have been still here, with me, not lying in a hospital bed for 20 long years, she cursed under her breath. She turned off the tap, wound still stinging, and proceeded to clean the mess on the floor. She knew her life wouldn’t be same after that accident, the sounds of the crash still ringing in her ear, even after 20 long years. She had dreamt to be an IAS officer, make a difference to her nation, but that obstacle set her back at least by a lifetime. Her mother, influenced by relatives and peer pressure, got her married off to Arun Apparkumari, a GM at an MNC. He is a good man, but sometimes doesn’t feel the way that she feels. And, 2 children later, here she is, a grown independent woman by society, but a shattered yet dreaming little girl by heart. She did what she only could do about her miserable life, weep, sometimes for long times alone, as she kept on her apparent duty of daily chores. Just a few footsteps away, a door closed, listening to the unheard sorrows. The next day early morning, she boarded the bus to meet her in-laws, for whom she was the only caretaker. As she took a seat near the window, a wave of fresh air flew through her face. This was the only part she liked about the bus ride. She could see the everchanging world in its glow, nature and man working together to create a sustainable and luxurious life. Cars swept past the bus, metros riding over, people in a hurry to do something important, most importantly women rushing to work, trying to bring about a change in the society. Her thoughts were interrupted by a girl, dressed up fashionista style, on a motorbike and smoking a cigarette speeding through the roads, hurling obscenities at other drivers. That brought back a fond memory from her twenties. It was nostalgic time again. ‘Hey Sathya! Come fast! If Mom finds out about this, they’ll throw me out of the house for sure!”, she shouted in excitement as her friend Sathya came running towards her. “Its fine da! Anyways it’s our last day meeting. Who knows what will happen after you get married and sent off? Start cleaning vessels now itself! You will have practice!”, she laughed hysterically looking at a sulking face. “Come on fast! We have no time to lose!”, she shouted as they both started on a rental bike. As the wind rushed through her face, and her skin feeling the true touch of mother nature, she rode the bike as far as the road took her. It was the happiest she had been in a while. Since her father’s accident, her whole house was in chaos as her gullible mother ignored her pleas and, with the advice of the so-called relatives, fixed her marriage. The only way to spend all her pent-up anger was today. She wouldn’t do anything to miss today’s thrill. That day lived up to its name. Playing with Sathya on the beach, teasing and laughing about the men following them, fun with the waves and finally icecream on the rocks witnessing the grandest and splendor sunset. “What is life da?”, she asked her friend, repeating the question for as long as she had known Sathya relishing her ice-cream. “According to me, it would be travelling the world with my love and enjoy doing what I do. What about you? What’s your thoughts?”, Sathya replied relishing her ice-cream too, not knowing the ripples it caused. She began to wonder about her life after marriage. She was in a deep abyss now, with no way out or no one to help her. When will I get this feeling again? What will happen to me? What about my dreams? “Hello, snap out of it! You’ve gone and dropped the ice cream, now you’ve made me go crazy!”, Sathya said sarcastically. But she ignored that and asked her, “But why only roaming around the world? Why not follow your dreams and pursue your passions? Isn’t that supposed to make you happy? Sathya with a calm mind answered her question,” My dear friend. You have confused yourself with life. Life is not always cruel. When I meant the world trip, I was not going to obviously enjoy the trip. It was the person I love that I’m going to enjoy with. That’s what makes
us all happy. Life doesn’t give us obstacles; it gives us the stairs. Now whether you run on it or trod is your choice.” That sentence was stuck in my mind for a long time. “Madam! Please wake up, the stop has arrived”, said the bus conductor carrying out his duty. Back to the stairs once again, she thought as she got off the bus. Back at home, Arun was waiting. To make a difference. She reached home early. In spite of all the things that she did for her in-laws, they never quite respected her and treated her the way she should. But, she did it for her satisfaction, the way her father told her. Anyways she got to eat some ice-cream on her own! As she opened the door, out came a deafening yell. “SURPRISE!!!!”, screamed Arun, Nirav and Ritesh at the top of their voices. “Happy life celebration day, you idiot!”, Arun screamed sarcastically. “What took you so long? Do you know how much time Nirav spent baking that cake? Even with his girlfriend he doesn’t talk this much time with!”, he joked. “DAAAAAD! IM JUST 11!”, Nirav screamed blushing, a pink color slowly rising on his cheeks. “What’s all this going on?”, she asked with genuine astonishment. “I’ll tell you later, but first have this ice-cream cake. And that too your favorite! Pan masala flavor!”, Arun exclaimed. “Papa, I was busy writing the card. That’s why I gave him the wrong flavor. Don tease me!”, Ritesh shouted feeling guilty. And then, that day, she had a blast. Singing songs, going through old photos, charades with the family and a surprise visit from mom. It was the happiest she had been in days. She wiped out the pains of the last few weeks and embraced the day with full hands. “So now that the kids have gone to sleep, tell what does this life celebration day means, Mr. Party planner?” she asked Arun as they sat near the balcony. “Before I say that, I want to say thanks!”, he replied. “For what?”. “For everything. For the days you had to go to raise those 2 kids to keeping up with my atrocities and my mood swings, taking care of the relatives, and for facing everything that life gave you. It’s going to change from now”, he replied staring at the night sky. “I still don’t get it. What are you trying to thank me for now? It’s not even my birthday!”, she replied still in shock. “It’s even more special! Its Mother’s Day. See, when life doesn’t exactly give what you want, it is up to us to make sure that we squeeze the best out of it. And mothers always do it. They have to. And they always. It’s hard, people won’t get the pain, the losses and the challenges that come with it. But what they also miss is the small tiny happy moments that comes along with it”, he replied calmly to her. And that’s when it hit her. It hit her hard. What her father said. What Sathya meant. What she was missing most of her life. Life is not the true pleasure. It is love. Her love towards her family. Her love that keeps her going every single day, making her strive to just see the smile on her children’s face, to always love her husband no matter what. Its love that makes us feel alive, not life. “Nirav heard you weeping that day. And I almost felt the pain when he said it to me. So, as a family we are going to give you the greatest gift we can think of. Or at least to us accordingly. I can’t afford a necklace or something….”. “Just say it Arun”, she laughed. “Our love and support. From now no matter what you do, when you do or how you do it, its going to be your way. Let it be opening a restaurant or trying for a job or even being lazy like me, no matter what the society or any bloody person says, we will support you. Its your life, you apply the love to it, it will reward you back. That is what today’s life celebration day was. From now, you are not just a hardworking woman. For the society, you are the mother”, he said her, meaning each and every word from his heart. And that day she made a decision. It is going to be love that will lead her, not life. That day she understood what the world tried to express to her in different ways. That day, she
understood love. That day, she became her. With all the love from the multiverse, Ragav
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