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rearranging-deck-chairs · 10 months

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what do you think yaz stopped herself from saying in revolution when she goes "i never stopped to think-"?

bc i think yaz always knew that time with the doctor was like, finite. i think she went into it knowing. she goes into it with "i want more", she knows it will end, she just wants a little bit longer. same in revolution "im not ready to let you go yet". she knows she will have to one day, just not yet, not just yet. i think she felt the clock from the start as much as the doctor always must feel the clock with companions. you meet them and time starts ticking until you lose them. it's a doctor thing to feel, so i think yaz felt it too.

and she knew travelling was dangerous, and she knew people died, but i think maybe she hadnt anticipated that it might be the doctor that would be the one to die? theres something indestructible about them. i mean theyre bouncy. 13 throws herself between the fam and danger from the very first night as if she cant be injured. even when she sort of visibly is.

like theres a lot of things yaz might have been thinking and i dont know if this is the option that makes the most sense, like she might have thought they'd get to say goodbye at least, or she'd get the choice at least, a last trip, anything, that it wouldnt be so abrupt. but i feel like with how power of the doctor ended, with like 13 sort of having to submit to her mortality, and yaz first saving her from it and then having to watch as her body like shows the actual physical signs of what amounts to death in both of their eyes, AND maybe also the fact that 13 doesnt deny it most of all. like theres no pretending it's just you know what this means we both know what this means we stop pretending now, like. All Of That being how it ends. i feel like maybe yaz in revolution/timeless children just wasnt expecting it to be the doctor to die

#just One Guess i dont even think it's the right guess but whatever #im watching 1 scene in the middle of revolution i havent rewatched anything in forever im hardly gonna come up with smth insightful #im just making a video abt the suicidality parallels and how i think yaz wanted to save 13 in s12/revolution the same way that like #people sorta saved her #to come after her to prove that they were looking #bc im sure she sawherself in 13 during s12 #theres also a maybe interesting survivors guilt kinda angle here #survivors guilt is obvs the thing 13 shares with graham #parent stuff with ryan #suicidality/policing with yaz #idk just thinking out loud #i dont think yaz felt survivors guilt as much as failed savers guilt (doctor core)#but maybe there was a little bit of /IM still alive rn?? ME??/#you know what i mean?#anyway. thinking out loud #revolutioni s making me remember all the thoughts ihave abt revolution so if im about to make a bunch of posts that #ive made before #whatever #tis my house

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certainkindofscientist · 1 year

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who one earth put CLOTHING on this dog.

#sirn #my art #digital art #art #uhhh this dudes got some really weird lore now.#he USED to be ohh main character picks up a graveyard grimm and hes a sweet companion! theyre gonna have fun adventures #and he was just innocent and chill. just a dog pretty much #NOW THOUGH??? oh dude NOW hes actually a re-incarnated priest that wanted to ensure his life after death so he tied his soul to the dog that #the dog that was to be the graveyard grimm. and dude this priest was kind of awful. couldve been worse but was definitely not a good persom #sirns story basically revolves around him getting tied to the mc and being a horrendous partner. he gets MUZZLED because of how annoying #he is #anyways he learns that his gods are LONG dead and hes spent the first half of the story getting the NEW gods to hate his guts #and he changes!! he grows and learns. he becomes a legitimately better person #theres a lot about guilt and shame in his story. and how being warped into a bad person doesnt mean its the end result #i want him to get better and work for it. some people wont forgive him. some people will.#anyways im still working on his character if anyone has any fun ideas LOL

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wabblebees · 2 years

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#cw parent rant incoming #tell me why im having to out of the blue ease my mom's cis guilt over text rn #im. hoough. im tired.#shes apparently been worrying abt having ''messed you up from day one'' bc they assigned me the wrong gender at fuckin birth & now hearing #the words ''assigned [x] at birth'' makes her feel ''on edge and accused''..................#bc it ''puts a responsibility for trauma and unkindness on parents that simply isn't there''#how tf do i say ''yeah i mean you fucked me up real good but also thats not the reason why.'' tf #the reason im traumatized isnt bc im trans. its bc im trans and was raised in a transphobic society that didnt want me to be trans.#why not start with the fact you raised me in a fucking cult??? hm????? THAT was traumatizing. but shed NEVER get that bc shes messed up in #a ton of the same ways -- but bc shes still In It she cant fucking see it #if it were fucking easy to just *play* with gender outside of your agab then it wouldnt be fucking traumatizing to grow up trans!!#thered be nothing to feel guilty for!! if gender roles werent so deeply fucking entrenched in the church and the way i was raised then #it wouldnt have fucking HURT so much not to fit in them!!!! but i cant SAY that it hurt bc then she'd Feel Accused and Wounded and To Blame #FOR THE WRONG DAMN THING. FUCK.#im not accusing you for being a bad parent or some shit just by existing as a trans person?? take responsibility for the shit that YOU DID.#when you did NOTHING *before* i came out to make me feel like i could Exist As A Trans Person? or As A Person that didnt Meet Expectations?#THATS on you. the fact i didnt know For Certain if id be *okay* if i came out?? THATS ON YOU.#theres TONS of shit i can think of that are my parents fault and directly tied to how fucked up i am. BUT ALSO. *THOSE* are never going to #be the things they feel sorry for. bc they think they werent in the wrong. so theyll just feel 'on edge' & 'accused' bc theyre sO justified #hhhhHHH. FUCK.#just out of the fucking blue. immediately after asking what cake i wanted tmrw for my birthday. so. happy early birthday i fucken guess!!#i hate it here.#every time i start to get comfortable and feel lighter and freer to express myself again... theres always fucking something.#theres always fucking something and *IM* the sorry fuck who has to keep the damn peace and smooth everyone elses ruffled fucking feathers #i hate to complain bc i really was afraid itd be so much worse but. but also this still fucking sucks ass? ig i wasnt really expecting that #idk man. maybe its the fact ive been extra fucking dysphoric and been dealing with one helluva rsd spiral the last week or so but. FUCK me #lemme out lemme out lemme out #just have to get thru the end of august and then im. back in school again. not exactly looking forward to thAt part either but at least ill #be AWAY. and with my partner and with my friends and OUT of HERE.#bee speaks

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pap3rcherry · 17 days

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✮⋆˙ FROM THE START ୨୧

Yandere Oliver x shy reader

tw: Uhh yanderes are their own warning, obsessive behavior, Bullying, OOC in some parts(?) sadism(?) suggestive if you squint, isolation, toxic relationship, guilt tripping, please remember that this is not a healthy way to love someone nor its hot so always seek help if u encounter a person like this. theres some english mistakes too, sincerest apologies

୨୧ Oliver is a little piece of shit, we all know that so right off the bat, it would be no small feat that he would make fun of you, you were really asking for it in his vision just by the way you acted, he probably already would be the meanest of them all, and with you being shy? just doubles it.

୨୧ You were probably a new student that just got into the school, you probably would hang out with Abbie, which just drawed his attention to you more and obviously, making him mentally draw this big red target in ur back, congrats, you're now another target of his bullying.

୨୧ By the time he's been teasing you, Oliver would start to develop a very strange feeling everytime he saw you, he didnt know what that feeling was but it was growing everytime he would catch you in his eye sight.

୨୧ When he realizes, he's already too obsessed with you and he honestly dont know how someone so popular and tough like him got so enthralled by someone so shy and pathetic like you, but the reasons were diverse, he just doesnt see it. (or refuses to see it)

୨୧ It was probably Zip who would make him aware about his "crush" by teasingly asking if he was in love when she catched him staring at you too much, of course, Zip didnt know the deep lovesickness her friend developed for the shy student they usually picked up on.

୨୧ from that moment on, Oliver would make your life hell, the bullying would get way worse, if you had any friends, they would suddenly cut ties with you out of the blue or avoid you in general.

୨୧ Oliver would definitely use that to make you feel bad and more fragilized, he likes instigating those bad feelings on you because of your reactions, maybe hes just a sadist.

୨୧ Oliver is mean, obsessive, possessive, over protective and manipulative, often using your shy nature to his advantage and entertainment, making you do things for him and etc...

୨୧ Oliver after some time would manipulate you into staying more with him and his little trio, saying that at least you wouldnt stay alone anymore and that made you really confused and a bit suspicious but you knew how cruel he is and knew better than questioning him, so you just tagged along, you thought that maybe it would get better from there. little did you know that it would actually get worse from there.

୨୧ Oliver would grow more desperate and possessive of his love the more time passes, he would often fantasize lots of things with him and you and when you notice it, he wouldnt even let you stay with the trio anymore, you could only stay with him.

୨୧ You didnt have any other friends other than him, even though you didnt really consider him a friend, and if you tried to get some new friends, he would make those new friends avoid you in the same or next day.

୨୧ If you try to ignore him or avoid him, he would just use the guilt tripping card, saying that you are being so bad with him for nothing and that he is only trying to help you even though you KNOW deep down that he is only lying, but you just cant help but feel bad.

୨୧ Oliver would probably be very touch starved, but wouldnt really show it to you, a simple touch on your arm, shoulder or anything like that, would already make him go crazy and possibly want more, but he keeps him smug and mean facade, he cant let you see such side from him. not now at least

୨୧ Like it or not, you are trapped with a narcissist that wont let you go so soon, you will have to deal with his smug nature until you two part ways.

୨୧ “im the only one who wants you in my presence.”

#fundamental paper education #fpe x reader #x reader #shy reader #fundamental paper education x reader #fpe #fundamental paper education Oliver #fpe oliver #Fpe yandere #yandere male #୨୧ Cherry works

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doctorwhoisadhd · 4 months

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immortal sins has EVERYTHING. gay sex. crime. the prohibition. jesus parallels. ellis island. religion. tenth doctor level crazy fucked up manipulative acts. a baby. jack backstory. gwen and jack attack dog and leader codependency. hostage situations. scherzo levels of awful ugly conversations. the new york mafia. blood. like. SO MUCH blood. torture. murder. catholic guilt. THE FUCKING TRICKSTERS BRIGADE IS THERE. jack getting tied up. italians. jack talking about the doctor. there was only one bed. theres even suicide

#immortal sins #torchwood #jack harkness #gwen cooper #captain jack harkness #why are the two best episodes of torchwood literally just like 'jack fucked that old man'#ari opinion hour #not bonff #im insane now

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qsmp-lore-dump · 4 months

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Have we finally found who is using the black shulkers????

An abandoned Fed lab of experiments:

Many books written by "E". Up until now i could only think of ElQ, which never felt right, but was really all i had to go on. But now... NOW we have Elena.

Elena says that she knows the experiements the Fed does are unethical but says they are justified by a "greater good". So... is the abandoned Fed base where she first worked? are these her notes before it was shut down? its possible.

The black shulkers have left me so god damn confused for ages. and for the purpose of this starter theory, i think i need to lump in the regular chests that are found with cellbit through out his missions using black shulkers as well. (or we can go down further side theories of other parties intercepting his missions, which... another time..) theres going to be some loose parts here, just stick with me and well say hopefully the unanswered parts line up in the future. Day 106:

after the final election debate when cellbit takes himself out of the running, he finds book in a regular chest outside of his house.

NOTE: "us" . this is why i thought it had to be the rebels for so long. but the Rebels use black chest, which cellbit never got during this time. the Rebels on-going report of cellbit state they hadnt contacted him until just before purgatory. this was not from them.

Day 107/108

a chest apears in the Fear room, taking him to the ship the Brazilians arrived on.

Now, the color of this shulker is very much in question. i could not see it pop up in cellbits WAILA. there is a day Forever find it later on but i have not found that vod again to see if it shows the color.

this puzzle deciphers to follow the blue bird blah blah or lose your sone forever. we all know this stuff. then, day 109, The Jaidens. we know all of this. Jaiden is sent by Cucu to deliver the items. Cellbit is sent to follow behind and collect all the evidence.

so why send cellbit to collect this evidence? was the purpose for him to read it? to learn something? im not exactly sure yet.

Day 128: here is where it confirms for me that the black shulkers and these normal chest ARE the same person(s)

The use of "interesting performance" is a clear call back to day 106. And "common enemy", we can look to my old "Cucu secretly wants to escape the fed", and now update that to ELENA instead. anyway, this long trail ends in finding the code sword and as we know, "no trrace left behind" ultimately rewards Cellbit with a home office presented by Cucurucho!

Delivers the evidence to a chest on black wool or concrete, not sure. and then the coordinated for his home office appear. ... plan all along, intercepted, or... one of my theories of cucu wants to escape the fed, a double agent Rebel cucu, a code cucu. anyway, getting distacted here.

But now, Baghera. Baghera is where it seems strongest that Elena is tied to these black shulkers, which makes stronger the questions on what her purpose is with cellbit. ...

Day 165: Bagz finds a black shulker along with a flower that leads her to her childhood room on the island. flowers on shelves, just like Elena.... Elena who knows all about the unethical experiments done by the federation. like human hybrids....

Day 199: baghera arrives at coordinates for BioLab 3 (led here by info in her childhood room). She finds reports on hybrid experiments, herself specifically, and reports written in french.

i thought these were written by kameto, because we had learned he was a french translator for the fed. but do you know who else is french, Elena.

Day (???) spefic date unclear, but the day christmas decorations began, Streamed on Day261

Elena has a warp for biolab 3. huh. interesting. So, Elena feels guilt about the experiments she been part of but see that the means justify the end. Did she feel Bagz deserved to know the truth about her past? Is that why she was sent to discover these things? We know it wasnt the rebels, Bagz's on-going report in crabro mention no knowledge of the hybrid experiments. They are not the ones who sent Bagz to recover her memories, the way they sent Bagi to recover her memories.

And if the rebels are recovering Bagis memories..... why are they not the ones doing the same for Cellbit? Does this mean Cellbit also is a Federation test tube baby -- this would mean bagi is too then?? And does that mean Follow the Blue Bird, and the long mission ending with the Code Sword are related to HIS past?

~~Happy Loring~~

#qsmp thoughts #qsmp theory #qsmp cellbit #qsmp baghera #qsmp bagi #qsmp resistance #qsmp rebels #qsmp federation #qsmp cucurucho #qsmp elena #qsmp osito bimbo #qsmp lore #qsmpblr

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starmans-spacelibrary · 21 days

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An ATLA book 3: Fire, episode one scene analysis !!

I cant lie the scene where Ozai welcomes Zuko home makes me sob just a teeny tiny bit because you can literally see in his face that returning doesn’t feel like it should, and as someone with a complicated relationship with their parents i feel that

(Zuko matters so much to me like i cant put it into words he is one of the most special characters in existence)

Also something i noticed straight away during my rewatch is that Ozai can never mention any kind of accomplishment of Zuko’s without bringing Azula into it,, like even when Zuko is home for the first time in three years he cannot say he is proud of him without adding “because you and your sister conquered ba sing se” and he also bases all of his praise of zuko around harming others and not a single bit of it commends his personal growth or literally anything observant at all because if he actually looked at Zuko for five seconds he would see something so far from what he preaches and i genuinely think Ozai does not possess the emotional maturity to see what is right in front of him.

Additionally, the symbolism in these scenes actually astounds me like in this short sequence theres so much to pick up on!?!?

Something small but very important is the symbolism behind this scene of Zuko kneeling before his father while Ozai officially welcomes him home.

Its such a simple scene but we can link it to so much, but mainly the scene of him kneeling before his father during the agni kai.

This also links to the fact that he still defers to his father despite everything and through that we can see that while he is so emotionally mature he isnt ready yet to fully sever ties with his father, and by extension his guilt and feelings of inadequacy because for as long as he can remember that was his whole identity and when he was faced with the big choice by Iroh i think he most definitely knew what was right, however the permanence and finality of it scared him into following Azula and his father because thats what hes always known, its FAMILIAR.

Another piece of symbolism i adored in this episode was the framing of this shot where the fire nation banner looms over Zuko, and how it represents his father and the expectations placed on him, and how he feels they are too big and overbearing.

I also noticed that when he steps forward the banner/ entrance to his fathers throne room casts a shadow on his face, which i think could be interpreted as representing how Ozai and Azula cloud his morals because he is so desperate for their approval and love.

This whole shadow archetype is also seen in how Ozai is always shown as being obscured by shadows right up until this episode and i think that was so incredibly well done.

ANYWAYS!!! If you made it this far you’re an absolute trooper and i adore you <3 thanks 4 listening to my daily rant (i know i have like 10 followers MAX but idc i love pretending i have loyal readers)

#atla #atla zuko #avatar the last airbender #analysis #i ate that shit up #i love media #what the fuck #in tears #i love zuko

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murdockmeta · 4 days

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hi, im new here (not to dd just to the tumblr sphere— why does everyone seem to hate zdarsky/checchetto? i really enjoyed the first part of zdarkys run and i adore checchetto’s art + design, so idk what i missed that makes everyone who comicsposts dislike it so much??

hm. this isn't the easiest question to answer. there's a LOT of different reasons as to why people disliked that run.

tbh I'll admit the first 20 or so issues of v6 are kind of okay. not impossible to read. it goes downhill fast after that, tho. very very downhill.

here's this post by @/xycuro-illuminati that does a good job of explaining why so many people disliked the run. here's my post on the ableism in zdarsky's writing. trust me you aren't the first person who's asked this question before

i'll give you a more general answer of my own opinion, tho

zdarsky's writing misses what most consider to be crucial points of Matt and Elektra's characters. with this, he entirely obliterates their characterization and that really pissed a lot of comics fans off.

i would consider volume 6 to be the beginning of the MCU-ification of dd. it is clear that at that point, some higher-ups were pushing for daredevil comics to become more like the show. the show was a MASSIVE hit and they wanted to cash in on that. so, they had the writers start shifting the comics and the characterization around to fit the show better.

this is where the problem lies. it is insulting, honestly, to ignore the past 50 plus years of writing for matt's character to shift it into something that will be more palatable to live actions fans just so marvel can get a good payday.

the most glaringly noticeable part of this is - the catholicism. the live action show makes a big deal out of matt being catholic when this was never really the case in the comics. while matt being religious and catholic are present in matt's background in the comics, it's not even close to being a big part of the character.

one of the main things that makes matt so compelling as a character is his morality, his integrity. he upholds his moral code relentlessly because he believes it is the right thing to do. he believes everyone deserves a second chance no matter what. in zdarsky's run and in the show, matt's reason for upholding his moral code is tied to his religious beliefs.

here's a good post on the origins of catholicism being related to matt's character and how it differs from the show and why it is such an injustice to tie matt's morality to his religion.

it's really really hard to articulate every single thing that's wrong with zdarsky's run while also giving you a thorough explanation.

i could tell you about how zdarsky's original plot was focused around matt's guilt when he accidentally kills someone but... matt's killed people before. he killed someone in his very first issue. ever. he was chasing after the man who was responsible for his father's murder and scared him so badly the man had a heart attack and died.

all of zdarsky's plots and subplots are all things that have been done over and over, he just writes it worse.

i could tell you about how shitty checchetto's art is. he can't draw women. or fat people (foggy fans deserve reparations). toward the end of the run he gets ESPECIALLY sloppy. he whitewashed kirsten and sam.

i could tell you about how zdarsky wrecked elektra's character. he completely ignored her origins and the character development she's had over the course of decades of writing just to slap some random retconned backstory onto her.

theres so. many. things.

i got into the comics through the show. when I started reading the comics I honestly perceived comics matt and show matt as two entirely different characters because they just felt so incredibly separate from one another. it is not that there are zero similarities, but their reasons for WHY they are the way that they are diverge wildly from each other

i dont know how else to put it except to say this. when I read zdarsky's run, I do not feel like I'm reading about Matt Murdock. it doesn't feel like matt, it doesn't feel like daredevil. it feels like an entirely new character that I do not know.

to fully explain to you why i feel that way would take a damn book. i realize that my answer isn't at all comprehensive and some parts are probably confusing but it is impossible to pick a start and end point. that's just not matt. that's it.

#dd #dd comics #daredevil comics #anti chip zdarsky #asks #ren replies #ren rambles #anon asks #nonny asks

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passports-pls · 8 months

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I was very disappointed in the lack of quality Mine playlists so I made my own 🤞

Listen here

you COULD listen to it in your own free time OR you could listen to it alongside my mentally insane directors commentary 😌

(under the cut)

for the sake of this post not getting too long I am grouping all the important songs into different categories pertaining to the different eras of mine tm

Pre-Daigo Misery (Nobody - The Other Woman)

This section is mostly abt Mine being a lonely little weirdo (characterised mostly by the smiths unsurprisingly) and because this era lacks a lot of actual content my notes are less specific between songs

There are actually so many male manipulator songs that fit too perfectly with Mine in this part of his life that I couldn't resist like I'm sorry but creep by radiohead is LITERALLY about him i don't make the rules

Okay but I do find 'Heaven Knowns Im Miserable Now' so funny in this context because I'm sure Mine was forcing himself into the yakuza expecting it to be so much easier to have close connections with these other men compared to his previous 9-5, only to find its almost exactly like his 9-5 just with more crime

'Salvatore' and 'Therefore I Am' are specifically the songs I attach to his bateman-esque grindset and his bubbling hatred for most of the people he works with dsfgf

okay but THE OTHER WOMAN ASWELL. It's literally mine you wouldn't understand. He dedicates so much time to taking care of himself and setting himself up to be an actual catch of a man and yet,, no one gives a shit about him despite all the effort he puts into his lifestyle to appeal to the ppl around him

LIKE??? Kicking and screaming he's so lana del ray coded

Just the sheer depression of this era i feel so bad for him

Yandere-mode activated (Can't Get You Out of My Head - The Killing Moon)

Self explanatory however actually finding songs that pertain to his specific brand of obsession was surprisingly difficult sfdsf

Although I will say that I cope and seethe at the fact that I had to sift through Killing Stalking playlists to settle on most of these songs gfdgsf

Theres such a delicate balance between the right amount of fluff and insanity that very few songs capture without being about literal stalking

like no in this case the stalker fucking won

that and vibes of idolizing Daigo like a god, I think 'Out of Touch' and 'Stolen Dance' do this the best

And freak because I can only imagine in all of Mine's relationships it's always been purely transactional and no ones ever put in the effort to actually talk and get to know Mine in any intimate form.

my poor touch starved blorbo

FEELINGS TM (Romantic Homicide - How to Dissapear)

THIS SECTION I FEEL GREATLY ABOUT

These songs to me are all about how Mine copes with Daigo's hospitalisation and when he wakes up. His whole internal battle surrounding his premature grief and his loss of connection with Daigo because could no longer see him as a truly living thing anymore

'Change' specifically hits when you think about it in this context. Because it's not so much about any real change in Daigo himself it's all about Mine's mental image of him now (because let's be real, Mine was way more in love with the idealised version he had of Daigo more than anything tangible about him)

IFHY is a little more of any iffy choice but I think it still convey's a lot about how conflicted Mine likely felt as well as just continuing his Yandere behaviour just in a much more sinister flavour

Okay but here's where my favourite song of the entire list is

WHITE FLAG BABY

admittedly it's completely self indulgent and ties into the mine-lives theory. But just the guilt and shame Mine felt when he see's that Daigo was indeed alive and that he was going to have to explain the past few weeks to him

yeah i would've thrown myself off that roof as well

also the lyric "I will go down with this ship" paralleling his "everyone abandons ship eventually" line just tickles my brain in the best way

'Door' and 'I Guess' are also just Mine guilt tm as well

'I guess' even more specifically because he's literally attached himself to daigo like a parasite and now he's thinking daigo's gonna break up with him I just AUGH

He KNOWS he's completely fucked up but I don't think he realises how much of a pushover Daigo is just yet and that he would have forgiven him eventually gjfdg

I'll probably update this with more notes as I remember them but for now I hope y'all enjoy the playlist!

#mine yoshitaka #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #character playlist #Yakuza 3 #playlist #now I can finally listen to Mine flavoured goodness without gritting my teeth #Spotify

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suffarustuffaru · 3 months

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what is your opinion on the fact that tappei intended us to hate reinhard for killing theresia

hello!! :o im not sure if tappei really Intended for us to hate reinhard for that per say—i think more so tappei intends to show the astrea drama in general in a very nuanced manner (unless he proves me wrong and does weird stuff to develop them later on wjfnd but ill stand by this atm because theres a lot of textual evidence i think!!)

the arc 5 astrea drama is the very first time we learn about Any of that, and the way we learn it is interesting. this is AFTER getting attached to reinhard and wilhelm, who prior to arc 5 were established to be good well meaning and respectable people. then heinkel comes in claiming they both did shitty stuff, and of course heinkel makes the worst impression of all time, is shitty himself, AND interrupted wilhelm and reinhards reunion, so we’re not inclined to side with heinkel here. but the more we learn about the astrea family conflict, the more we realize, alongside subaru, that 1. wilhelm is not as great as he seems to be (its like learning that a close family member or friend has done some terrible stuff!! the common reaction to it is to feel Disappointed or Sad or maybe a little angry!!) and subaru also learns that 2. the entire situation is not black and white. it takes a heavy emotional toll on wilhelm, heinkel, and reinhard.

it’s also interesting that we dont Always learn info about it directly from the family members themselves—theresias dead of course and doesnt say much when she briefly comes back (more on this later), reinhard becomes more subdued around his family (which has gotta be a trauma response in an attempt to minimize the conflict), heinkel and wilhelm are unreliable narrators driven by their emotions. we learn some of the bulk of the drama from JULIUS, an outsider, but someone with ties to reinhard personally and the knights. so we’re also getting unreliable info about someone like heinkel (whos got a reputation thats honestly shittier than even his behavior, which i pity him for), and someone like reinhard is extremely hard to read (we just know that hes. you know. Traumatized. and Sad.)

i DO think though that throughout all of this we’re supposed to sympathize with EVERY astrea family member. every single one. we’re meant to understand each of their actions, because they all contribute to the family dysfunction unwillingly or consciously.

we’re given the reasoning behind almost all of their actions in the conflict. wilhelm lashed out because of grief, and hes spent years regretting what he did and not knowing how to fix things. heinkel’s an alcoholic from stress, trauma, and self-hatred, and post-arc 5 we see more of his psyche (which is shown in a very honest sympathetic light as well, hinting at heinkel getting future development and most likely a redemption arc). heinkel then lashes out (which is a Sad pattern in this family given wilhelm also does that... and its implied that heinkel is also like this Because of wilhelm's influence) to deal with all of this too (and because he Genuinely thinks those things now. hes a sad bitter man). we also know from side stories that heinkel used to be a good man who truly loved reinhard, and we do know that heinkel still loves louanna and has spent YEARS searching for a cure. as for reinhard, he was a CHILD (five when it first started!!) throughout almost all of this conflict, and hes the youngest member of his family and still young even as he’s grown up now. and he certainly didnt Intend to kill his own grandma when he was five, and he definitely deals with the guilt of all that years later. he shuts down around his family in the present, for one. and two—reinhard was failed by his family members, who have been ADULTS for the entire conflict and are his father and grandfather respectively. if anything, reinhard has the least blame here. he was a child!! a child thats been conditioned into serving the kingdom at All Costs to himself!! heinkel and wilhelms grief is understandable but it should not cost them their literal child!! they were the ones with the responsibility to pull themselves together and they failed to do that!!

but then reinhard kills theresia.

the thing with reinhard killing theresia is that reinhard was very much not wrong for that. tappei takes the time to show corpse soldier theresia going after heinkel and wilhelm—both of which are too weak in this moment physically and emotionally to stop theresia, WHO IS THEIR MOTHER AND WIFE RESPECTIVELY. and iirc wilhelm was also injured by her. heinkel pisses himself in fear while begging for her to stop—or something along those lines. its Terrifying. and it shows theresia, as she was in that moment, is a threat!! what else was reinhard going to do?? if he doesnt apprehend theresia, shes going to kill the rest of their family T^T

yeah so. reinhard kills theresia. afterwards, heinkel and wilhelm give reinhard shit for it but again, they were going to DIE if reinhard hadnt stepped in. and its clear that reinhard is saddened by what he had to do, even as he says that the corpse soldier theresia ISNT THERESIA. and reinhard is technically kind of right!! that was a corpse soldier!! she was both theresia (her last words to wilhelm are proof of this) and Not Theresia (she already died years ago!! this was a reanimated corpse!!).

its wilhelm and heinkel that misinterpret reinhard’s demeanor as him Not Caring. because he does care, but reinhard has always had an uncanny personality—likely partly because of trauma (remember how i said he shuts down a bit around his family? common trauma response) and partly because of reinhard’s endless divine protections giving him a very. Unique. perspective on everything. so reinhard has difficulty with connecting with others because of all of that. hes Really hard to read, especially in a complicated situation like this where its basically a lose-lose for everyone involved. wilhelm and heinkel are blinded by their grief and fear and anger and because reinhard 1. killed theresia, 2. said that that Wasnt Theresia, and 3. said he didnt regret killing theresia and 4. said that he did the right thing (which is probably because, again, what else could he do, theresia was going to kill heinkel and wilhelm)... yeah so wilhelm and heinkel read reinhard as being cold and unfeeling and callous so they both completely give up on reinhard in this moment. the coffin is. metaphorically and literally closed here, reinhard killing theresia (again. for the second time. if youre heinkel and wilhelm) was the very last nail.

and ultimately like. again, tappei gives us All the narrative tools to understand each member of the astrea family in this conflict. tappei also even notes the detail (iirc. in like a qna somewhere. if someone can find it or whatever please feel free to add!!) of theresia, on her death bed in arc 5, had nothing to say to reinhard and heinkel. its kind of. weird. when she makes SURE that wilhelm knows that she loves him but she doesnt even bother with her son and grandson - and heinkel does note that she looked at them "hatefully" (which. heinkel is an unreliable narrator, but its interesting for tappei to include that detail because heinkel also goes "she looked at us like That, who else could that be but mother?"). so uh. astrea family dynamics are complicated, have likely always been complicated even before everything went wrong with them, and tappei also gives us theresias full backstory in her pov in arc 5. AND he shows that the corpse soldier was still. Theresia. in the end. its extremely complicated. tappei takes the time to show that with every detail.

so anyway. yeah i feel like we're meant to sympathize with everyone in the astrea family. theyre all people with their own flaws, theyve all contributed in some way to the conflict whether they like it or not, they all have various degrees of blame, if you really want to go into whos the Most Guilty for all the dysfunction. even poor louanna contributed indirectly via falling into a coma T^T

but i dont think tappei means for us to like hate any of them. just because tappei Always shows how complicated the situation is. tappei is Always sympathetic to all astrea members as much as tappei also often calls them out for their flaws (heinkel is the most obvious example, tappei also does it with theresia and wilhelm a bit, and reinhard is shown to be a bit stilted in social situations with a habit of stomping on other peoples boundaries sometimes without realizing or because he thinks its for the other persons good, etc). and as much as i love making jokes at wilhelms expense because he did fuck up quite a Lot with his family (same with heinkel... and im a little sus of theresia but she Did care about heinkel in the past, we know that from her named chapter)...

like. i can understand where someone like wilhelm is coming from. do i hate him for lashing out at his five year old grandson and helping turn his son against his grandson? oh yeah. yeah. but i can Understand why he did it and i feel bad for him, which i think was more so tappei's goal here. so the audience can hate any of these characters if you so feel like it, but tappei means for us to deeply deeply get where they're coming from and why they did what they did. so maybe its more so that we're not supposed to hate these characters, maybe we're just supposed to hate Their Actions and wish that things didnt turn out that way. because it couldve been better at any turn - wilhelm couldve just not lashed out and blamed reinhard when he was five, heinkel couldve also pulled himself together, louanna didnt have to go into a coma, theresia didnt have to die twice, etc etc. but thats the point of it all i think. it turned for the worse but all we can do is try to think about How it turned out this way. and i pity all of them, really.

plus, reinhard, wilhelm, heinkel are 1000% getting some kind of further development with this, i'd say. and rezero is Repeatedly about forgiveness and growth, so yeah. i absolutely dont think we're supposed to fully hate any of them. if anything, im rooting for their growth before its. you know. Too Late. but yeah thats just my extremely long opinion/feelings on all of this, people are totally free to disagree of course :o !! hope that answers your question though!!

#rezero #re:zero #ask #reinhard van astrea #theresia van astrea #wilhelm van astrea #heinkel astrea #arc 5 spoilers

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isabelguerra · 2 months

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wizjo from isabels pov is like you hate your life so damn much. you hate your dead grandpa and his lame magic school and finally you turn 11 and get to escape from all of it and meet other people your age and it’s so exciting! then you get to school and realize that absolutely everything your grandfather told you — that you believed was just him being obnoxious and self obsessed — was true. hes a big deal and being his granddaughter means something. that sucks. people treat you mostly normal but theres always an undercurrent of something lying just below it. you try not to think about it.

and then you meet the most frustrating annoying person alive. you dont even know him, he mostly bugs your friend, but you get in a massive argument once because he thinks you think youre hot shit- which you DONT, so HE’S wrong for assuming. you dislike him on instinct. whatever. magic sports exist here too! it’s a sport you really like. you go for tryouts and have so much fun and okay fine maybe you show off a little bit— but it’s because you’re good and you know it. you make the team! so does the worst boy alive that you met and instantly didnt like. he didnt just make the team, he made the position directly tied to yours. you wont just be teammates, you two specifically will be partners. you hate it. you push him into a patch of rotting pumpkins when you get the chance. he fills your shoes with magic slugs. you turn his orange juice into mud. he knocks you off your broom. you throw up on him. this goes on for a long time.

years pass. hes still annoying and rude and freakish. …he’s also pretty alright. he’s not afraid of you like other kids are (because hes convinced hes the scariest thing around. as if, you can totally be scarier than him). hes also scarily loyal and makes you laugh. he helped you sneak your best friend/pet spider out of the castle once, which meant she wouldn’t have been discovered and taken away forever. that meant a lot.

and he also talks like he doesn’t care who you are. which means he calls your grandpa a bitch when you groan about your homelife sometimes. that makes you laugh too. and because hes not scared of you he kind of pushes you in ways nobody else does. which is so annoying! you dont need him to push you, you can totally be better than him on your own— you’ll show him. he has nice hands. what

you walk together after practice. your grandpa doesnt want you doing magic after graduation. you dont even know if you want to continue it yourself, but you hate not having the chance to choose. bitch boy is there for a lot of this and he always listens and gives you the same rough mannered support he gives his friends, which as much as you love your own friends, you don’t get much of from them. you like hanging out together, now. he might be your best friend. he is. you fall asleep studying on the couch together and practice one-on-one together, developing new moves that’ll leave the competition in the dust. you make Captain of your magic sports team. he uses the title to tease you but he means it every. single. time. it makes you feel sick. it makes you feel sweaty and too vulnerable and you want to run.

you make a bad call during a match and bitch boy gets hurt. every time you look at him he has an obnoxious manic grin or an annoyingly bold bravado, he shouldnt be lying there all quiet. it’s your fault. hes your best friend and it’s your fault. you don’t leave the infirmary for two days, you barely sleep, when his friends come to check on him you’re so jumpy that you nearly hex them. sure he’s fine and it’s another little battle scar for him to brag over but now your gut churns with guilt every time you look at him. you never want to see him that quiet again.

you run out of class once when a monster your professor brings in turns into your grandpa and starts ripping into you in front of the entire class. bitch boy is the only one who comes to check on you. he looks at you too softly for your angry outbursts and messy face and his usual brash approach. you know that means he’s trying something new just for you and everything feels too hot. you want to run again. he touches your hand and you cant fucking move. your other best friend also come to see if youre ok, but he walks in on the two of you kissing which was not exactly in the plan anywhere near the plan whatsoever the plan this was not the plan.

you want it to be the plan.

#wizjo #waaaauuurrgrhhhgrgrhwhahdhd dungeon meshi The Overwhelming Feeling Of Want And Desire and mithrun’s You Dont Have To Continue Living By You #Old Desires You Can Want Something New Your Life Can Go On #wizabel

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boysareouttonight · 2 years

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listen if u think about it macdennis is tragic in a way. u just wanna buy some weed in high school and then when u realize u just met ur best friend and hanging out with him is the best part of ur day and u know what this is u fucking know it bc u dont feel this way with any girl but hes not into boys he'd be disgusted and probably cut off ties with u if u ever brought this up so u just push all ur feelings deep inside u then u come back from college and decide to move in with him bc u wanna spend every second with him and thats what u do and u become codependent u have the most fun when u're with him no one makes u feel like this he makes u laugh and then gives u the most warming smile in return bc he likes to see u happy hes the fucking love of ur life and no one in this entire world would understand u better than him its like u two are living in ur own bubble that no one can pop until ur sister calls u married couple and then like woah hold on ppl are starting to notice this wasnt supposed to happen but u cant stay away from him its not the same when hes not around so u go back to keep doing what u've been doing all those years bc u two are straight right everyone knows this and u're fine with what u two have u would rather have him like this than not have him at all, u already share a life together but things are starting to change its getting more obvious than hes gay he tries to kiss u once but thats all this is i mean who would not be physically attracted to u and hes too deep into his religious trauma to ever come out even tho everyone knows. and then he comes out. u're so proud of him and alongside this feeling theres also anger and jealously bc how dare he. how dare he ruin what u have how dare he take this weight off of him while u're not there yet how are u gonna keep having that relationship if now this has another implication, this is too real. and then a few weeks later theres stupid valentine's day that u fucking hate bc it reminds u of how no one is gonna truly love u or want to be with u if not in a sexual way and u just want that day to be over until u have the biggest realization. that ur best friend doesn't only wanna hook up with u. hes in love with u. he gives u unconditional love even if he thinks u dont love him back. he doesnt care bc for him loving is so easy its like second nature hes not ashamed of it and he doesn't care if the other person feels the same. u break down bc where was all this when u were teenagers why couldn't he have done this sooner why did it have to be now. u love him so much that u cant handle it and then u skip town thinking things are gonna get better and u're gonna forget him but u miss him too much. and then u come back but u're angry. angry that macs acceptance is trying to speak to a part of urself and make u confront feelings that u wanna burry deep inside u. angry that hes so open to love. that he seems so light now like he never was before. so u push him away and at the same time brings him closer and more depended on u bc the more u push him away the more clingy he becomes bc he would do anything for u and u love when he takes care of u he makes u feel safe and u wonder every day what it would feel like to be in his arms and to kiss him and to hold his hand and to wake up next to him. hes ur best friend ur roommate ur life partner ur business partner but u cant. u wouldn't know how to do this u wouldn't know how to love and to let urself be loved u need to remain in control. it hurts every time u scream at him and he gives u the sad puppy eyes he all he wants is to make u happy but u don't know how to act in any other way and then quarantine comes and u're forced to spend more time with him and its almost like old times just the two of u having fun together in ur own bubble without any worry or guilt and u want this back and ur sister says 'maybe u should get a boyfriend' and it hits u that mac isn't yours anymore he never was and soon enough hes gonna move on with someone else bc hes ready and u're not.

#it doesn't get more insane than this #i've been thinking too much about them lately #THEYRE THE LOVE OF EACH OTHER'S LIVES IM VOMITING BLOOD #i was gonna write more but tumblr said i reached the limit LMAOO #macdennis #iasip

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transhawks · 1 year

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your last meta abt enji is very interesting and nuanced. i think its the closest one to what hori is trying to say that ive ever read. im one of those ppl that can relate to touya and dabis anger so i dont relate to whats going on with endeavor. like in the beginning his atonement felt to me like humiliating shoutos, reis and eventually dabis characters, and i still cant find myself caring for enji. but tbh so far theres no malice in the way hori writes it so lets see where it goes.

Thank you.

I just think there's a lot of resistance to the idea Touya might love/want his father. It's definitely not the... idea we had years back. The Dabi reveal(s) threw a lot of fanon out the window as to Touya's backstory and motivations and I think a lot of people have trouble moving past that too because it also means looking at Enji a little more.

But also, and I want to be clear - the vast majority of people opposed to Enjidemption and anything that goes with it are people who are abuse victims. That's why I respect that so many people are upset by this narrative. It upset me too. I have a very complex relationship with my own folks, and come from a culture with an enormous amount of mandated familial closeness (divine-ordered) and guilt/shame if you don't follow through on it, so I get the emphasis on ties with your parents being important no matter what that certain cultures like to impose. I understand wishing, wanting, some reassurance that our reactions to our abusers are fine - that we don't need to allow them back into our lives if we so choose.

But I also think it's important to note that the Todoroki family is complex! Not everyone has the same reaction to the abuse! I'm pretty sure if Natsuo hadn't been pressured by Fuyumi he might have cut off Enji completely!

Victims do not all think the same (which MHA does do well in showing), do not all want the same things, do not all have the same feelings in regards to their abusers. It kind of hurts when I see people take an extremely severe stance on this because as much as I can hate Endeavor-defending, a lot of time when it turns to criticizing Horikoshi's choices, it skews or nears hating on victims who choose to have contact with their abusers or complicated relationships with them despite admitting to the abuse. Or to those who, despite everything, still feel some love for their abusers (aware we are, that the love we get back is a conditional mimicry of the love we wanted). It goes into victim-blaming; "if you were strong and correct you'd cut contact and condemn them." or "if you really genuinely were abused you wouldn't still be there".

Again, I acknowledge that those of us who don't personally favor reconciling with abusive family have the short end of the stick when it comes to societal views. And there's nuance; some of us love our parents but cannot have them in our lives.

Abuse is complicated! Trauma makes for irrationality and inconsistency in thoughts and feelings, heck, just mere human existence does that too!

But yes, I don't think it's malicious on Horikoshi's part or him "misunderstanding" abuse as I've seen said for years on here. That charge never sat right with me given the consistent theme of child abuse, especially the focus on over-bearing patriarchal figures throughout this work and in Horikoshi's other works, I think we should also acknowledge all of that is coming not from Horikoshi misunderstanding abuse, but forming his own interpretation through likely his own experiences of it.

So, yeah. Shit's complicated and didn't go the way many of us hoped - but we can still sympathize with the anger at being rejected and discarded by a love one, even if we won't like the ending to this story.

Edit: I wrote this a few years back, but there's no shame in dropping BNHA if the Todoroki narrative and likely resolution are too triggering to you as a victim of child abuse or survivor of sexual assault. Take care of yourselves first.

#asks #todorokis

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howgalling · 2 years

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jackie p1

right. Cant focus enough to draw so I thought I’d type.! context: wheeljacks dynamic in my humanformer cyberpunk au. lol

wheeljack in my art goes by Jackie. 40’s. ex corporate engineer.

grew up street kid vibes, rough neighbourhood but very much alive and a thriving community in its own chaotic way, jackie is a swell lady!! well loved! u know sometimes theres just people that make u feel safe, despite jackies enigmatic personality and lack of self-preservation skills. she just gives off such a good vibe. im going for the kinda goofy endearing but well intentioned g1 inventor vibes, not the cowboy samurai typa scene for this wj! :D

like i wouldnt trust wheeljack to look after my dog (wheeljack WOULD get distracted and forget there is an animal in the house. it would eat some of whatever wheeljack is slinging around the workshop during her hairbrained schemes and explode or some shit) but i would trust her with my life. lover and a fighter <3 i got derailed but you get me. i trust her

early 20’s she was an Extremely talented inventor working and selling her tech on the streets (doing very well thank you very much!!!!). she was contacted and rather forcefully hired by a massive company (think militech level tech/weapon production that clocked her potential and snapped her up). wj is blinded by the opportunity. she doesnt consider the damage her inventions could/will cause when genuinely put to the test. too busy with the incredible tech and potential she has access to now, testing the boundaries of her abilities to having to come face to face with the fact her weaponry is being used to commit atrocities (leaving this open ended for if i decide to merge it with another storyline) but the grief and realisation of the consequences of her creations wears on her immensely and she wants out. jackie learns very quickly that her Employers are Not Keen on letting her quit. (while playing cyberpunk i remember reading a random bit of a journal where someone mentioned something along the lines of companies essentially kidnapping employees from each other constantly, inspired this bit of storyline, though i have no specifics for the company right now, could be interesting to tie into a company owned by another character? who... shockwave? hm... OHHHH. HMMMM. PUT A PIN IN THAT @ ME) going to leave this area open ended to again allow other storylines to tie in with how she escapes that situation, but she goes nomad for a time. has to stay on the move for a long while, gets VERY good at keeping herself out of corporate reach. gets a much more low-key workshop, settles down. she is terrified her friends wont welcome her back after her own weaponry was actively used against them. but jackie is well loved! though she is full of guilt, and dedicates her time into developing tech/cyberware that assists people who were damaged by her inventions with their injuries/disabilities. . would u like to know more on how grimlock ties into her storyline (grimlock is her beautiful gigantic tank of an adopted daughter. post settling down <3)

#text #not art #what do u think of posts like this? let me know :D <3 #THE SCAR IS ON THE WRONG SIDE CONSTANTLY BECAUSE I FLIP IMAGES AND FORGET SORRY LOL #long post

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annoying-probably · 1 year

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Hello! I finally looked at the lyrics for hitsuji ga ippiki, and this happened in the span of... An hour? Mind the bad wording and not-as-done-up presentation as the previous ones! Tumblr formatting is the death of me, truly.

I'm taking my translations from the vocaloid fandom page and mirapaint on twitter, please bear with my translation differences struggle!

Enjoy the sheep analysis:)

this self loathing is a personal best, I'll ignore it - I want to act pretentious, desperado, if I can't? I'll self loathe.

man?????? an has been masking her whole life to be on top and consciously or not she's realised she isn't way ahead of expectations now, she can't put on her forward face of just going with the flow, her minds going mile a minute to do everything, to be well liked and loved but maybe it's projection. Kohane isn't used to this feeling, or atleast so strongly, so she hides from it, the cause?? I don't actually know I haven't read any new events but it could be from her standard of feeling like the odd one out.

this scapegoat is none of my business, I'm wrestling my own - this is a scapegoat, this roar (?) , It's like a curse that doesn't fade.

they're off the deep end I wonder why kashika and aogu are so damn idealising of that./s. I wouldn't read it as direct for Akito, being he's aware of Touya suffering but is turning a blind eye, more like.. he thinks because they're both going through it it's like okay? Or that he feels he can't intrude on it because that's went so well in the past. And Touya has had a whooole damn thing with constantly using a scapegoat of his history with music to escape it and not try and further himself, so he either feels guilty that he's ran so much, or that the history itself exists, or like. both. could always be both/guilt of holding everyone back because nobody in this damn group can communicate with each other that they all have the same issue.

I don't get what the hell the roar line means,,,, it's bugging me. Like,,. Passion? In other parts they mention passion becoming pain so it ties in and fits Touya,,, but????? Roar??

Oh is it cus his scapegoat, this doesn't seem like a word anymore, aren't meant to break from pattern as like a mindless sheep? So it's breaking the pattern and yelling out?

Or maybe it means arguments..? Like social/relationship scars?? I have no damn clue here

-right now, theres a 100 sheep here in a mud boat waiting to sink.

Someday the sun comes down, they opted out.

One ran away from it, 1-2-3.

so there's a 100 people starting music on shabby, baseless starts, with no real desire to become something real. I'll bet the 1-2-3 sheep that 'ran off' would be vbs- An. I originally said Kohane for the obvious reasons but An hasn't ran from anything. She started in music, she'll end in music. I'll say Kohane ran from like her past self, but she didn't start in music but I think it sticks. An, with Kohane, doesn't actually sing this part, so I think it can go for either however I'm using the next like as backup lol. And obvs the vbs connection to everything happening in the night where they can have their 'true selves'. Please bear in mind I'm using two diff translations here too lol.

- you can say whatever but, tell me you're pretending to be an oblivious fool

an is talkin to herself isn't that fun! Obviously it sounds like it could be to meiko, but what's meiko, if not an extension of her? :) an doesn't even know who *she* is.

- you're just a lonely sheep on your own, let me hear that voice of yours.

With the filter, it makes me think this is An's projection of Kohane, much like how it happened in moonlight yk? Berating her, yet pushing her forward anyways to sing. I think An has a real complex going on about Kohane. Loving her and constantly pushing herself down because she adores Kohane and her talent so much, so it almost seems like an, consciously or not, thinks Kohane is sorta like controlling her..?

- there's one sheep in the dark. Let's tear it all to pieces **|** O, lone sheep, go tear the darkness to pieces, the entire thing

Those are very different translations? Most are quite similar but those are. Hm.

The first one implies what I'd expect, a sheep out of of the bunch, a black sheep, and suggesting to sorta like maim the imposter. sung by Meiko/Kohane/Touya, which for the human two, could very easily be fingers they're pointing at themselves. The other translation?? Implies the lonely sheep is like angry and wants to tear away at the darkness of the others, also befitting for Kohane and touya, but the darkness of their partners, not supported by the song earlier, I'd say, but supported by the cards. ( But then again Kohane, in the cards, is a lone sheep in the darkness so, could also be her being the lone like prophet sheep to help em lol)

- if this beautiful night won't ever end, why don't we counting numbers?

Counting sheep! Classic method to falling asleep, but the night is a common theme. Usually seen, obviously, in the characters revealing their truest selves, pretty or not. But I think this more implies they're keeping it to be "the night." They've crowded the sky with darkness, with insecurity and doubt... And what did Kohane do, at the start, when she self loathes? She sleeps!~ so, meiko suggests the same, counting all the "sheep" here, so they can sleep away their loathing.

- when you become the only sheep, what do you want after that?(m,an,ak)

-im a sheep made to soothe, could you leave me be? / This version of me is a lonely one could you leave me be, now?

I'm being cursed by multiple translations again.

being the only sheep atleast probs means like, the others are healing and not wallowing in pain anymore, or they've just moved on, leaving behind a final sheep. An and Akito are scared of being left behind because of their fears. standard vbs. And with that translation, what do you want after that is also reminiscent of moonlight to me but I probably shouldn't compare em so much.

so translation one. back to an's identity crisis of what she is outside of other people, wanting to be alone. The other translation is pretty similar the word difference just makes her seem more dramatic, "this version of me" like... Alone now, in the dark night, because everyone else has left? I think it makes sense, aswell as possibly linking into meiko again, using her as a stopper and holder of her feelings. And obviously continuing, an wallows, asking to be alone.

- you're just a solitary sheep here, now, defy and move beyond.

Kohane, the real one, isn't joining An in her pains, but she is encouraging her. Telling her that she is alone, everyone is starting (to try to) grow. She's telling her to like pull up her boot straps and become more than she was made to be. Much like An did for Kohane.

AND BACK TO TRANSLATION CURSES!

- if this state of misery is a personal best, if you give it a name, it's like a curse **|** if this is misery it's my pb, if I were to give it a name; it's a curse.

That distinction of if I name it, it's a curse. Or if I had to call it by something, it'd be a curse.

The first one I like more, the idea that if you acknowledge sorrow, it latches on and increases into a leech, a curse. The second is just calling misery and hatred a curse in of it self but I think the first one is more special. especially coming from Akito.

- with "something" that's no longer just a hobby, you're bound to get hurt more and more.

An just lamenting about how music is something she has to be passionate about now, she is actually trying to do something, and when you want to learn and grow, you make mistakes. And mistakes hurt like hell, especially when you're surrounded by people who, you think, expect better of you. This kinda angle makes me think an never like.. truly strived to surpass rad weekend, the same way every kid says they'll be president (or some equivalent) yk? It's not that she didn't want to, but she loved music more for the fun and joy of singing, and turning what you love into a job will always be kinda draining in some way, not having freedom.

- haven't you been told it? "I love you". I can't stay here forever, so, (t) ( could also be, that " did they make you say it?'I love you' can't exist for all of time, so,"

- let's go on a one-night, two-day trip to hell and flourish in heresy, I mean. (M)

the double translations AAAAA. This making me damn insane.

The second one makes more sense to me, Touya doubting any love he's given because he feels as if he shouldn't be around everyone, even doubting that they'll all stay together and the fact everything will just fall apart in the end. The first one makes it seem like he's the hesitant one, unwilling to give love because he feels, again, as if all is fleeting. Then the added "fuck it all" basically, of meiko speaking true desires as she usually does, not caring if they go to hell, just having time away from the darkness and other people, thinking and saying things "sheep" couldn't, whatever that means to broader terms.

- ..I mean,

I see.. X4

meiko, to +Kohane, to +Akito, to full the three. Interesting choice of characters but I'll read it as the partners seeing through their partners true wants/pains?

then we circle back to the chorus with different line distribs.

The distrib is flipped a lil, probably just for voice reasons but now it's Akito and Kohane singing, could also be read as the previous wants being broadcast so they're telling antouya step out the darkness and destroy it all.

This time, Akito takes over meikos previous line ( if the night won't end why don't we count /parap), which, with the addition of the above line about a one-night outing??? sounds more like its leaning into that heresy from before. Counting numbers to sleep away the pain.

- when you become the only sheep, what do you want after that? (M,An,T)

Again, almost the same as before, but Akito and Touya switched. Once again could just be the switch for vocal and line distrib things, but hey, akitoya is having their usual dance of mental illness in this song so you can also say it's that, asking him what he'd do cus surprise! hes ignoring his issues again ( as he just said about counting to fall asleep. )

- I'm a lonely sheep, could you leave me be? /Para (t)

hey look! It's the same as an before! and the same as the two of them in moonlight! they're scared of being left alone yet isolate themselves in their loneliness. Fun!

- you're still just a sheep, can you even laugh at this version of me? (M)

Now because he spoke last, I could point this at Touya, instead I'm pointing this at everyone. They're all still sheep, none of them have broken free, they can't even laugh at the free, unbranded, Meiko. At the same time, she's pushing forward and showing how they all feel- pitiful, like a circus animal to be laughed at, in their darkest mindsets, because they all seem to trivialise their own issues, make them out to be stupid blips.

funny little nanana, with Kohane breaking the cycle to lead into the final chorus.

I don't think anything stands out here, the different line distribs are what id say is the same meaning as the last one, even with the different characters.

- You're just still one sheep of the flock.

Won't you try not to get cursed?

From now, until you die. (M)

- all of you are just one sheep here now, defy, and move before. (K)

The same as before!! But Meiko almost teases the others, telling them that if they don't make some move, they're all just sheep, cursed to live their entire life in this feeling, and they're not making any change.

And Kohane repeats the same line, the solitary sheep, broken free from the cycle, trying to get the others to follow, much like sheep, but in their own path, so they aren't always coping each other and hurting themselves.

Can't wait for An's next breakdown event, guys!!

#project sekai #prsk #proseka #puroseka #vbs #vivid bad squad #azusawa kohane #shiraishi an #shinonome akito #aoyagi touya #hitsuji ga ippki #is this song called one sheep or sheep sre great ive seen different opinions #had fun doing this #ironically my brain has been in overdrive of shit for like ages now so sorry if some of this rambles a while #talking from my brain rn #colourful stage #vocaloid #meiko

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