#and then there are neurodivergent people i'm related to who i see make very real attempts to interact thoughtfully around OTHER people

[flimsy-roost]

I realized the other day that the reason I didn't watch much TV as a teenager (and why I'm only now catching up on late aughts/early teens media that I missed), is because I literally didn't understand how to use our TV. My parents got a new system, and it had three remotes with a Venn diagram of functions. If someone left the TV on an unfamiliar mode, I didn't know how to get back to where I wanted to be, so I just stopped watching TV on my own altogether.

I explained all this to my therapist, because I didn't know if this was more related to my then-unnoticed autism, or to my relationship with my parents at the time (we had issues less/unrelated to neurodivergency). She told me something interesting.

In children's autism assessments, a common test is to give them a straightforward task that they cannot reasonably perform, like opening an overtight jar. The "real" test is to see, when they realize that they cannot do it on their own, if they approach a caregiver for help. Children that do not seek help are more likely to be autistic than those that do.

This aligns with the compulsory independence I've noticed to be common in autistic adults, particularly articulated by those with lower support needs and/or who were evaluated later in life. It just genuinely does not occur to us to ask for help, to the point that we abandon many tasks that we could easily perform with minor assistance. I had assumed it was due to a shared common social trauma (ie bad experiences with asking for help in the past), but the fact that this trait is a childhood test metric hints at something deeper.

My therapist told me that the extremely pathologizing main theory is that this has something to do with theory of mind, that is doesn't occur to us that other people may have skills that we do not. I can't speak for my early childhood self, or for all autistic people, but I don't buy this. Even if I'm aware that someone else has knowledge that I do not (as with my parents understanding of our TV), asking for help still doesn't present itself as an option. Why?

My best guess, using only myself as a model, is due to the static wall of a communication barrier. I struggle a lot to make myself understood, to articulate the thing in my brain well enough that it will appear identically (or at least close enough) in somebody else's brain. I need to be actively aware of myself and my audience. I need to know the correct words, the correct sentence structure, and a close-enough tone, cadence, and body language. I need draft scripts to react to possible responses, because if I get caught too off guard, I may need several minutes to construct an appropriate response. In simple day-to-day interactions, I can get by okay. In a few very specific situations, I can excel. When given the opportunity, I can write more clearly than I am ever capable of speaking.

When I'm in a situation where I need help, I don't have many of my components of communication. I don't always know what my audience knows. I don't have sufficient vocabulary to explain what I need. I don't know what information is relevant to convey, and the order in which I should convey it. I don't often understand the degree of help I need, so I can come across inappropriately urgent or overly relaxed. I have no ability to preplan scripts because I don't even know the basic plot of the situation.

I can stumble though with one or two deficiencies, but if I'm missing too much, me and the potential helper become mutually unintelligible. I have learned the limits of what I can expect from myself, and it is conceptualized as a real and physical barrier. I am not a runner, so running a 5k tomorrow does not present itself as an option to me. In the same way, if I have subconscious knowledge that an interaction is beyond my capability, it does not present itself as an option to me. It's the minimum communication requirements that prevent me from asking for help, not anything to do with the concept of help itself.

Maybe. This is the theory of one person. I'm curious if anyone else vibes with this at all.

#actually autistic #autistic #audhd #neurodivergent #nd #long post #actuallyautistic

[pikatrainer99]

Kieran is autistic and you can't change my mind!

Okay, I KNOW that I'm not the only one who holds this headcanon...but I wanted to do an analysis on Kieran anyway, especially since my best friend @sinnohanvulpix said she'd love to see me do one. Credit to her for all the screenshots used btw. The GIFs on the other hand were either found on Google Images or created by me using gifrun.com and these YouTube videos:

I did not use my own footage for this at all...as proof here's what MY character in the game looks like...he has my real name but I tried to make him look like Orange which is why he has the orange eyes 😅

(Sorry for the bad quality btw...taking pictures of my Switch screen is hard 😅)

Okay, now without further ado, let's get started with the analysis!

First, Kieran has a CLEAR special interest in Ogerpon, he admires and looks up to her, he was obsessed with the story of the ogre, he was always trying to go to her den and meet her, he has a meltdown when Ogerpon chooses the player over him, etc. Carmine even says that Kieran "really really REALLY likes the ogre" and that made me think, "Ah! Special interest!"

And then at the end of the Teal Mask he gains a new special interest in getting stronger to beat the player...and he hyperfocuses HARD on that...to the point of it being detrimental to both his physical and mental health, as he was doing nothing but training during that time...he barely ate, barely slept, just trained...and that is not healthy. It's a rare example of media showcasing a special interest being unhealthy and absolutely CONSUMING one's life, and the consequences do actually show for it.

Kieran is very introverted and doesn't know how to make friends very well. I actually think the player is his first friend considering his surprised reaction when the player says they consider him a friend, and following this, he quickly becomes a bit...too attached to the player, as he doesn't quite understand how friendships work.

(This is also such a neurodivergent way to say "I'm so happy I finally have a friend")

He also struggles socially, as is a requirement for autistic people to qualify for a diagnosis. Kieran specifically has a hard time reading social cues, he struggles with making eye contact, he has clear anxiety when talking to people as proven by his little stutter he has at times.

(This is an adorable screenshot 🥺)

He also struggles with social and emotional processing (and might have alexithymia as well due to his sudden huge outbursts of emotion), and he also struggles with initiating conversation as well, as seen when he tries to talk to Penny at the League Club. They both have no idea how to even start a conversation with each other and it's honestly pretty adorable seeing the two quiet adorkable kids trying their best to hold conversation. I get it, you two, initiating conversation is really difficult for me too.

Also the way they try to start the conversation by talking about the weather...that's really funny and ironic to me because that's what NTs do all the time. NTs always use the weather as a small-talk conversation starter but NDs like me (and Kieran and Penny too apparently) just don't get that stuff.

(These two are so neurodivergent it's great and I love them both 🥺)

Kieran also has four in-game animations that I personally see as stimming. The first one is him tapping his fist against his hip when he's thinking or nervous.

(Focus your attention to his hand here and you'll see it.)

The second one is him playing with a strand of loose hair, usually when he's nervous.

(The little nervous side glance at the player is relatable and adorable 🥺)

The third one is a more agitated stim that he only does ONCE in the entire game...and that is tapping the front of his foot on the ground. I do that myself when I'm agitated or impatient, somehow it's comforting, especially since for some reason I really like the way my shoes sound when I tap them on the ground... especially since I got my brand new Infernape-themed shoes, they sound extra satisfying because they're brand new.

(This is not the way most people tap their foot...I've never seen an NT do it like this...only other NDs such as myself and one of my brothers)

The fourth and final one is, unfortunately, a stress stim...Kieran runs his hands very fast through his hair and it also looks like, to me anyway as someone who has self-injurious stims myself, that he is digging his nails into his scalp as well while doing that. I do something similar myself, though on top of running my hands through my hair and digging my nails into my scalp, I also pull at my hair...yeah... self-injurious stims are no joke...and I'm kinda glad Kieran's autism coding brings attention to that aspect of autism...at least in my eyes as someone who does those things myself.

(He's in so much stress here, poor kid 😔)

Another aspect of autism that I'm surprised and kinda glad that Kieran exhibits as an autistic-coded character is meltdowns and shutdowns. Kieran has actual meltdowns in the game! This is something we have never seen in such an in-your-face way in any Pokémon game, and as someone who regularly has meltdowns myself, it hit me in the feels whenever I saw him having them. His first meltdown is in the Teal Mask when he steals the Teal Mask and runs off to Loyalty Plaza where he battles the player. He yells at Carmine and the player for treating him like an outcast...which is unfortunately something that happens to a lot of autistic people, myself included. Kieran screams at the player and Carmine for for lying to him while doing his stress stim, before running up to the Lousy Three's shrine and punching it, without any regard for his safety, which is also something autistic people may do during meltdowns...I know I have no regard for my safety during mine. After that's all over he gives the mask back to the player and goes home, leaving the player to talk to Carmine alone, who says that she's worried and thinks it's just "teen angst". When I saw that I was like, "...Uh, Carmine...I don't think it's just that, I think your brother is neurodivergent and really needs a lot of help and support because he's struggling a lot right now..."

His second meltdown is also in the Teal Mask, when he wants Ogerpon to go with him but Ogerpon wants to go with the player...Kieran can't process that and doesn't understand how to take Ogerpon's feelings into account, instead demanding the player to battle him for the right to be Ogerpon's partner. He collapses on all fours after being defeated again, and it gets worse...he looks like he's crying while the player battles Ogerpon in order to catch her. After the player catches her, Kieran wonders why he can't be like the player, and runs off crying, locking himself in his room for the rest of the story. The end of the Teal Mask has him doing his stress stim while being consumed by a new special interest in a very detrimental way...that interest being becoming so strong that no one can defeat him...including the player.

Kieran's third meltdown is in the Indigo Disk, after the player defeats him in the championship match. That meltdown is a full-on cutscene, where it is CLEAR to see his spiraling mental state through the visuals, and he holds his hands on his head like he has a headache while trying to process the fact that he lost to the player AGAIN (which is also relatable as someone who struggles with processing difficulties myself...it really does give headaches and it is one of the worst feelings when I just can't process what's going on around me or the emotions I feel or anything really)...he collapses to his knees and looks like he's breathing very hard as he is so upset and distressed at this loss. It is definitely one of the most heartbreaking scenes for me because this is a CLEAR CUT MELTDOWN in my eyes and it hits me in the feels like a TRUCK to watch that cutscene.

Also, in the Terapagos fight, Kieran has a bit of a shutdown for a bit, standing there frozen, thinking he's useless and can't do anything right (which is relatable as I have regular shutdowns as well, and I also constantly feel like I'm a failure of a human being who can't do anything right)...but let me tell you, when the player finally gets him to snap out of it and convinces him to help and he opens his eyes revealing that the light is back in his eyes as well as visible tears...I cheered (and teared up myself). My boy was back, and I was so happy.

(When I first saw the tears I was like, "NOOOO don't cry Kieran! 😢)

Also in the Indigo Disk, Kieran seems completely different and "no longer like his usual self". His autistic traits are (mostly) nowhere to be seen as he becomes much more serious, angry, assertive,and aggressive. I personally see this as a persona he puts on by masking, which is common for autistic people to do. I myself can't mask, but Kieran definitely seems to be masking here by putting on this persona in order to get stronger and seem stronger as a person as well. This is NOT his real self, this is a FACADE!

We see him start to drop the mask again in Area Zero when he says it seems like they're in a spy movie or something and how cool that is, but once the crack in his mask is pointed out he immediately puts it back on.

After everything in the under depths ends, and you go back to Blueberry Academy, he drops the mask again completely, and goes back to his real, adorkable, relatable self...and stays that way from then on, which made me so relieved and happy.

(This is my favorite cutscene in the entire DLC because of how adorable it is and also how neurodivergent Kieran is being here while apologizing for all he did 🥺)

In conclusion, I think Kieran is a great example of an autistic-coded character who has many relatable traits, and also does a good job showcasing some of the more "unpleasant and challenging behaviors and traits" (NTs use that terminology a lot, not me... that's how NTs unfortunately view NDs a lot of the time) of autism. I used to be afraid of him during the post-Teal Mask pre-Indigo Disk era but that was my trauma and PTSD talking (I talked about the emotional rollercoaster Kieran's story arc took me on in another post from last year after I finally worked up the courage to play the Indigo Disk...feel free to check that out too if you'd like). Now though I can wholeheartedly say that I love and appreciate Kieran a lot as a character, and his relatability is definitely a big part of why he is a big comfort character for me now (please Pokémon put him in Pokémon Masters EX, PLEASE I will literally cry from joy if he gets added to the game)!

Hope you all enjoyed this autistic person's analysis of yet ANOTHER autistic-coded character in Pokémon! I know I had A LOT to say but that just proves how relatable Kieran is, and I love him for that. Let me know what you think and if I missed anything in the comments below!

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon sv dlc #pokemon kieran #the teal mask #the indigo disk #mochi mayhem #post mochi mayhem #kieran is adorable and relatable #he's autistic your honor #and nothing can tell me otherwise #i know i'm not the only one with this headcanon #but i wanted to analyze kieran anyway #because i can #actually autistic #autism headcanons #pika's headcanon #long post #pika talks #Youtube

[natjennie]

it's a little bit hard to watch captain sometimes because like. in the beginning of woodworm men for example, when pat calls him out on never having put up a tent, cap has the distinct air of a grown-up gifted kid who is theoretically smart but can't actually do anything, and is sort of facing the consequences of that for the first time. because the rest of that episode he spends so much energy trying to make pat proud of him, answering his questions and engaging and running off to check on mike like. it reeks of "I know I don't have any actual skills but please please please like me please keep me around I'm smart tell me I'm smart tell me I'm good please god" and when pat finally does reward him with the teamwork medal he is. overjoyed. the look of a man who has had his whole life changed by some silly praise. and I mean. yeah. anyway. it just.

his whole characterization, from the very beginning with "why is it always about war with you" "eawhewheeh" is so exactly someone who is desperately holding on to one identity that they've created for themselves, convincing themselves that they're loved and wanted by being needed, making themselves smart and good and important so that people will keep them around.

just. and the fact that he's not actually a very good captain, in the tiny bits of backstory we see, he's flustered. he's nervous and his troops aren't listening to him and havers gives all the actual orders. but he has clung to the idea of being in charge for. 80 years. because without that what is he? this mentality of like.. people know me for one thing and if I'm not that then I'm nothing.

it's all so neurodivergent and so very tragic, the way he doesn't know how to relate to other people without the mask he's so desperately attached to, despite the fact that everyone around him knows it's not real. like everyone else can see him for what he really is, but he refuses to accept that they still like him like that. you know what I mean?

just. the fact that the captain really isn't very good at stuff but covers it up with a lot of fluff hurts me a lot to witness

#anyway. #its hard to watch because um. #same. #anywayyyyy #bbc ghosts #the captain #dont mind me just captainposting

[drdemonprince]

Recently, I've observed a pattern in my friendships where I connect with people who tend to be people pleasers or are less confident in expressing their thoughts. Given my neurodivergence and direct communication style, I've received feedback about sounding righteous, making them feel unsafe to share. How can I navigate these situations more effectively or seek out individuals with stronger personalities who appreciate straightforwardness?

P.s. it makes me feel so bad every time this happens, it’s not my intent to hurt people and I feel very rejected.

I have a bit of experience with this dynamic myself. Those of us who are read as negative or difficult to please can unwittingly be appealing to people pleasers, because it reminds them of people who have genuinely mistreated them and fraught family or relational dynamics of their past that have dug a real deep groove into their brain. Unfortunately the very qualities that feel familiar to them also burn them, because they want to win us over and soften us, but we're already just being ourselves and not abusive and don't need to soften. I've honestly been on both sides of this dynamic -- the person who keeps accidentally hurting someone's feelings and the one getting hurt with glib comments, incompatible communication styles, or whatever else.

That's just one of many dynamics at play of course. We're both traumatized, othered groups of people who may gravitate to one another because we share so many struggles in common -- but our triggers and sensitive points can be incompatible. When someone expects me to read their mind and pre-empt their needs, for example, it freaks me the fuck out because I've put a lot of work into no longer being that kind of person. At the same time, it's okay and normal for a friend to want you to understand the basics of what makes them comfortable and uncomfortable and to consider their feelings and needs.

Sometimes it's just a conflict one needs to talk through. I have plenty of cherished friends who are sensitive or people-pleasing in nature, and we can make it work because they don't view me in a negative light -- they fundamentally see me as someone they care about and like, and so even if they suddenly feel like I'm making fun of them or have left them out, they are able to check that instinct against the reality they know of me and we can talk about it or they can work on the feeling on their own as the case warrants. If I do say something hurtful or miss the mark, a lot of my closest friends are the types who can tell me, and then it's my job to not freak the fuck out on them or to feel controlled or penned in by them sharing that intimacy with me... sometimes I'm still not the best at it. but lord have i gotten better.

I think one has to just keep endeavoring to be oneself and to communicate early and often. I don't think the solution is ever to censor oneself or to feel that your true self deep down is too cruel or wrong for people to love. I used to really feel that way and still struggle with that sometimes, especially when I hurt people. It can be easy to feel, if you're a kind of negative/blunt seeming person like me, to feel that any time a person shares with you that they are hurt, that they are trying to censor or control you. Sometimes that very much happens. But it isn't always the case. Sometimes a person just wants reassurance that you like them, that you didn't mean the remark in that way, or even just acknowledgement of their pain and that they aren't crazy for feeling how they feel. Not everyone who gets hurt is a crybully or manipulating. Just as not everyone who accidentally hurts people is abusive or cruel.

I used to really gravitate only toward other negative prickly people. I still like that "type" a lot. But there is no type that is wholly trustworthy or safe. I got burned plenty of times by trying to win over the friendship of someone who I thought surely would "Get" me, because they were also blunt and to the point, and I assumed that made them "real," but in actuality they were manipulating people and steamrolling people and trying to make people feel bad. Some people can only be "real" about candid negative opinions. They can't be really contrite. Or curious. or humble. or even tell you directly when they are hurt. They might only be passive aggressive and barbed instead (i have also been that person).

As always I think it's most important to look to a person's actions and the impact they have on others, as well as their own capacity to both self-advocate and to admit fault. Can this person reflect? Can this person say they were wrong or that their opinion changed? Can they own that they might see things in a biased way? That they have their own triggers? That they need things? Do they help people the way those people want to be helped? Do they behave in accordance with a consistence values system you can admire? Do you like how they think things through? Can they understand their own emotions to at least a responsible extent? Etc etc etc. Some people who tick off all the right boxes on these questions will be someone who is pretty sensitive and people-pleasy but working on it. And some of them will be people who are patholdogical demand avoidant naysayers with a chip off their shoulder but who can also be vulnerable. And most of us are all of those things I think.

[autistic-beshelar]

Hey! I'm very interested in what you've told me about antisocial personality disorder, neurodivergence, and empathy vs. compassion so far. I would love to hear more!

hi, sorry this has taken me a bit to get to, i've had a hectic few days, and i knew i'd end up writing a lot!

ASPD:

i'll start by saying that i don't have ASPD, so i'm just going to give the basics and hand you off to people who DO have it. it's important to bear in mind that ASPD is primarily considered traumagenic, and that, like any other disorder, it can manifest in a bunch of different ways, and people with it can behave very differently from one another.

ASPD is a cluster b personality disorder characterised by low empathy, limited range and depth of emotions, disregard for other people's feelings, disregard for societal conventions and morality, chronic anger, and chronic boredom. the common view of pwASPD is that they are violent criminals, but that is primarily because research is only ever done on the worst kinds of people, and i'm sure many of them are misdiagnosed. i'm sure i don't need to explain to you why basing a disorder solely off of people in prison is fucked as a concept, given how both the prison system and psychiatry are both incredibly flawed. (it's also for this reason that i have no scientific studies to give you, because the only ones i've come across are grossly ableist)

having ASPD comes with a lot of challenges, but having a disorder - any disorder - doesn't make you a bad person. from what i have seen, a lot of pwASPD don't so much 'not have morals' as have a deep distrust of authority and base their morality on logic or serving their own interests. in fact i've seen an awful lot of pwASPD who are very left leaning or are anarchists. of course there's also plenty who are right wing assholes, but that kind of goes to show that a disorder doesn't dictate your morality, it just might lead you to approach your sense of morality differently.

ASPD resources, from actual pwASPD:

https://shitborderlinesdo.tumblr.com/post/115096247519/the-anti-social-personality-disorder-checklist

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/life-with-antisocial-personality-disorder-aspd/ (cw for mention of csa)

https://inanawesomewave.tumblr.com/post/177638772232/the-bones-of-it

EMPATHY:

my favourite thing to rant about. empathy is wildly misunderstood by most people, so let's start off with a proper description. there are two main types of empathy: cognitive and affective. you will also see some people say that there's a third type, 'compassionate empathy', but i have never seen a definition of it that isn't based on the idea that empathy is necessary for compassion, so i'm ignoring it, and i'll get to compassion later.

cognitive empathy: basically, thinking about feeling. cognitive empathy is the ability to recognise and understand emotions. it is involved with reading people's expressions, or understanding why a certain situation might cause a certain emotional response.

affective empathy: this is typically what people mean when they talk about empathy - the ability to feel what someone else is feeling.

it's extremely important to note that this is fucking impossible. 'feeling what someone else is feeling' is some sci-fi nonsense. it isn't real. the belief that it is causes a lot of harm.

affective empathy, properly defined, is the a person's emotional response to an emotion that they perceive someone else having. it isn't always as simple as 'i'm happy because they're happy'. affective empathy can also be involved in more complicated situations, like feeling afraid because of perceived anger (which leads to a whole conversation about hyperempathy and hypervigilance and the relationship between them, but that's a whole other post that someone who actually has feelings would be more qualified to write)

so that's empathy. it's really just a bunch of feelings that we have about or in relation to other people's feelings. there's no moral component to feelings whatsoever. morality only comes into play when action is involved. which leads me to...

compassion: being kind, not as an inherent state of being, but as a choice.

i'll talk about my own experience here, but i've heard similar from other people with low/no empathy, and i've heard similar from some pwASPD as well.

i choose to be kind because i believe it's the right thing to do. i see a lot of injustice in the world, and it makes me furious - in fact, for me, it's primarily my anger that fuels my compassion. my morals have been based partly on feeling, but also on logic, and on a lot of research. to me, being kind is logical and sensible. it's logical to want people to be happy and safe and free. it benefits me too, for starters.

i don't need to feel sad about people's suffering to want it to stop. and though i don't really feel much empathy, i do still get emotional about things - i can still be sad or angry or happy about certain things happening, it's just... less than other people.

i look at the world around me and i try to find things that i can do to make it better because i think that's my job as a human. sometimes i'm bad at it, and sometimes i'm too tired to, but at the very least i can refuse to cause harm, and when i do, inevitably, cause harm, i can make amends.

(there's also a long discussion to be had about how basing your morality on your ability to empathise with people makes it extremely easy to no longer care about people who have been dehumanised, but that's a post i don't feel qualified to make)

a book i am desperate to read on this subject is Against Empathy by Paul Bloom, but here's an article about it, which is of course not perfect, but makes a lot of interesting points: https://www.vox.com/conversations/2017/1/19/14266230/empathy-morality-ethics-psychology-compassion-paul-bloom

i hope that helps explain some things. if you have - or anyone else has - more questions, feel free to ask, and i'll do my best to answer.

#empathy #low empathy #politics #kind of #autistic #actually autistic #there's a lot more i could say tbh but lets leave it there or i'll write an entire essay. with chapters #also i've used pwASPD because i usually see person first language used for personality disorders #and it's not my place to use identity first if that's not the community consensus #but pls let me know if you are ASPD/ are someone with ASPD (or another PD) and have thoughts or feelings on this #identity first vs person first is sth that's interesting to me #disability #ableism

[isa-ghost]

My friend

I am gonna do it

WHAT ARE YOUR Q!PHIL HEADCANONS MY FRIEND

YESSSSSS

Here's Set 1 and Set 2

Now M O R E

He won't do it without prompting because he'll feel like an ass giving nobody else room to talk, but if someone got him on the topic of like. Exploration or flight or something, he could talk for hours. He's extremely knowledgeable and passionate about stuff like that, most times because he has centuries of experience

I don't want to diagnose cc!Phil or whatever bc I know he doesn't like when people do that, but to me his rp character is free reign. And as a psych major with ADHD who's focusing on the study of neurodivergent disorders: this man is hella ADHD coded. He's told too many personal stories that are relatable to me for me to be silent about it. I'm 🤝🏻 this crow man

In his case this isn't a nd trait but instead a crow one, but he experiences echolalia sometimes. Funny things or certain noises he hears just scratch an itch in his bird brain real good, he can't help but repeat it for a while

The way to Phil's heart is good food, fun to be around, and kicking ass. If you can tick those 3 things off for yourself, you're Phil Approved

He'll say he doesn't fall for peer pressure, and often times he's right. But on rare occasions someone like Fit or Etoiles can convince him to do smth he maybe wouldn't at first. It's easier to win him over when he's drunk

cc!Phil has talked abt how he gets a weird confidence boost when he's drunk as shit. That's real for q!Phil too. He could be staggering slurring speech drunk and still snipe something like 50 blocks away. It makes Fit and Etoiles want to kiss him about it

He has intentionally made almost his entire wardrobe varying shades of green, which he pairs with black, red & gold. He thinks it's funny to have a branded wardrobe like an anime character

Idr how canon dsmp is to q!Phil but he still has the friendship emerald charm hanging from his hat. Perhaps it's from the Antarctic Empire days instead. Idk, I just like the character design of Dangly Thing On Hat Brim too much to exclude it from his design in my head (I should rlly attempt to doodle my Phil beyond the random notebook ones I've done. Maybe I'll post those if asked idk)

Don't underestimate this man's ability to get dramatic. Tallulah ain't the only one in the family that can go hard

I wouldn't say he has a bad temper. He's very well-practiced at self-control. However, there are certain things that set him off so severely, he throws self-control out the window. Those things aren't worthy of him trying to be "the bigger person." They deserve their ass handed to them right here right now (see: The Codes pre-current lore).

In a similar vein, when the situation isn't one of those special Fuck This incidences, he still doesn't have a temper, but when he finally snaps, he SNAPS. Like on a The Polycule be like "mark me down as scared and horny" level of snap. When you get on the Angel of Death's last fucking nerve he let's you KNOW.

I'm self-projecting here: this fucking idiot man has a detrimental habit of insisting on handling stuff like anxiety alone. He hates when people see him without his composure. It's not even like an embarrassing thing, it's just very uncomfortable to him. So when a panic attack hits or he finally concedes and let's himself cry, it's alone. And sometimes that makes it worse. But even that doesn't make him change his mind. "Keep it together for the kids," right? :')

#qsmp #philza #qsmp philza #q!philza #philza headcanons #qphil headcanons

[relatableblorbopoll]

Round 1 of preliminaries, group 14

The first two places get a place on the bracket

Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket

Propaganda under the cut

Oz Vessalius (Pandora Hearts)

"Struggles with self-worth, adores books, ADHD (though that’s not canon—but he fits the diagnostic criteria), his strongest/most important relationships are platonic"

Sound (My School President)

"Lonely gay teenager who tries to be cool and sauve but gets adopted against his will by a group of losers and then falls for one of the losers who gets on his nerves a lot because he was nice to him once and then he gets all awkward and flustered around the boy and tries to avoid him and antagonize him but the boy sees through it and they eventually end up together and he becomes the most annoying person in love ever"

Luz Noceda (The Owl House)

"adhd. possibly some autism too. a weird girl who got outcasted by being herself and sure has some WACK coping mechanisms to deal with it. self worth is IN THE DRAIN. gnc and not straight. writes fanfic. artist. goes through a depression era when at her moms house. loves her mom also. this is canon stuff i'm saying"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA she is so ASDHSUJD. Okay I started watching the owl house because I knew there was a WLW couple, so obviously I had to check it out. But upon watching the show, I got so emotionally connected to it, or moreso the protagonist, Luz, that it could go beyond some people's understandings... I remember that almost any scene showing her neurodivergent traits would hit SO. CLOSE. HOME. It would be unbelievable. I literally rewatched the show more than seventeen times one summer. She is just so goshdarn relatable man. She's the weird kid, has no friends, loves making anime edits, is OBSESSED with a book series, loves witches and magic and stuff, has ADHD, an attention span that is so high when she's engaging with something she likes doing and so low when she's bored. She's just so lovely. I know a lot of people found her annoying in season one but she hit close home to me. Season two was amazing as well and she started getting even MORE relatable!! She started showing her people pleasing, how much she blames herself, it was so sad but I was glad to see a character I could relate to so much on screen. I mean i personally didn't experience the loss of my father and I personally do have one friend whom I'm able to share my life with, but she's still super relatable. She can be so silly and so cool. And her impulsivity and the way she realized she doesn't know what she wants to do when she grows up also hit close home. Mwah"

Gundham Tanaka (Super Danganronpa 2)

"Goth autistic theater kid"

Saiki Kusuo (Saiki Kusuo no Psi Nan/The Disastrous Life of Saiki K)

"He's very dead inside, especially in the English Dub, and introverted. But even so, he cares a lot for his friends, even if he never says it to them and he finds them annoying most of the times. He also be nosey and just insert himself into others' situations that don't involve him (obviously, he makes it so that nobody knows he's there and, obviously, he's also complaining about this all the time). He's canonically aroace, or at least aroace spec He's canonically trans. He was born as a girl but he didn't like it so he immediately turned himself into a boy with his psychic powers. An argument could be made about him being on the autism spectrum."

Drew (The Music Freaks)

"I don't like him actually I hate him and love him st the same time in fact but. This man is so real and such a horrible jerkwad to everyone around him. I mean I can't relate to THAT but I should mention he also gets jelous easily, he is in love with his best friend who does not like him back, he's all moody and grouchy and bratty. And so am I and I hate it lol."

#preliminaries #tumblr polls #tumblr tournament #character bracket #character tournament #oz vessalius #pandora hearts #my school president #sound my school president #luz noceda #the owl house #gundham tanaka #super danganronpa 2 #danganronpa #saiki k #saiki kusuo #saiki kusou no psi nan #the music freaks #the music freaks drew

[trans-axolotl]

Related to that last post. I've talked about this quite a few times before on this blog, but I think it's worth mentioning again.

Antipsychiatry does not mean that people do not have some sort of relationship with the current mental health system. Although I truly believe in psych abolition, until we build up enough alternatives, transform our community approaches to mental health, and provide enough resources that we can divest from the system, most mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people are going to engage with the mental health system in some way. Whether that's because we're institutionalized against our will, whether we have an outpatient therapist we love, whether we just see a psychiatrist so that we can get meds, all of those are very real ways of engaging with the system. And I think that even within the current ways the mental health system harms us, there are still individual times that we can gain help from certain people or places. Does this mean I think we should advocate for the system to continue to exist in the way that it does? Absolutely not. But does this mean I think we should share tips for how to navigate the system in the ways that causes the least harm for us, learn how to lie when necessary, do research and try to find the least shitty providers, and support all of our individual choices about how we want to engage with treatment? Absolutely!

It is the reality right now that things like peer respite, the Trieste model, mutual aid social therapy, drug decriminalization, are simply not accessible in most places. We need to do the work to make these things accessible, to abolish, transform, and replace the current system, but until then, many people who are psych survivors and involved in mad activism are also people who are going to need the tools to navigate the current system to get the most benefit and the least harm. And we should be supported both in our refusals to engage with treatment and with our desire to seek some types of treatment. I am interested in attacking the systems, not shaming individual people for the ways they choose to seek support. For example, I go to a fabulous outpatient therapist who is an abolitionist, but I refuse to take meds, and I have a very elaborate plan for if I'm forced into hospitalization again.

I just think it's so important to emphasize that while we cannot settle for the current system and must actively work to replace it, while it still exists, we deserve the tools to try to make engaging with it as painless an experience as possible. Any moments of healing we are able to find are valuable!

#personal #antipsych #antipsychiatry #mad pride #mad liberation #psych survivor #neurodivergence #disability justice #psych abolition #ok to reblog

[sharpth1ng]

What do you think is mentally wrong with billy and stu other then being “insane”

I don't actually think they're insane, tbh. I'm going to give a long explanation of this but I just want to say I'm not judging you or the question. Terms like this get miss-used a lot in pop media (including in Scream) so it's easy to get the wrong idea.

"Insane" is a legal category, not a medical diagnosis. Legally, insanity refers to someone being in a state where they are so out of touch with reality that they can't be considered responsible for their actions. The way this works is complicated, but simply put if the crime was violent then it needs to be proven that the accused person didn't actually know what they were doing.

Successful insanity pleas are very very rare, both because the burden of proof is super high and because people with disorders that involve a break from reality don't commit violent crime that often at all. It's actually pretty rare.

So yeah, by that definition these two are not insane at all. They know exactly what they are doing and they intend to do it. They call themselves "psychotic" but that's also a miss-use of the term. They very clearly don't have psychosis, and aside from that people with psychosis are less likely to act violently than people who don't have it (this is a statistical fact).

On that note I just want to point out that the way media connects violence with psychotic disorders is a real problem. It stigmatizes and isolates the real people who struggle with this stuff. It causes others to judge and fear them, it makes them fear themselves, and it makes it harder for them to access treatment and care. So yeah the psychotic line in Scream is a real pet-peeve of mine, that's why I changed it in my writing.

Getting back to Billy and Stu I really don't think their issues and behaviours can be boiled down to any mental health issues. To be clear I don't think anyones bad behaviour can be boiled down to mental health issues. In some cases mental health issues can help us understand where behaviour is coming from, but they're never the only cause. So I'll talk about the way I write them in terms of the issues they deal with, but just keep in mind that these things not the cause of their actions.

I write Billy autistic partly because I am (but also because of the canonical horror movie special interest and third act meltdown) and I'd say my portrayal of Stu also indicates some type of neurodivergence- probably something like ADHD but I don't have any specific diagnosis in mind. Billy also has some attachment and trust issues- these aren't diagnosis or disorders but they are definitely things he struggles with. For his part Stu is dealing with parental neglect and struggles with loneliness as well as under-stimulation.

All of this stuff informs the way they behave with each other, the walls they put up, and the types of relationships they have with other people. For example Billy isn't emotionally open to Sidney at any point. Even if he wasn't gay there was never a possibility for their relationship to work out because he's completely closed off to her. He doesn't trust her.

In terms of what I think is truly wrong with these two it's the misogyny, the slut shaming and the self-centeredness. That's the kind of stuff that I think explains their behaviour for real, and none of it is related to their mental health issues or insecurities.

Stu is a rich white boy living in suburban California and the way I write him, so is Billy. They have shitty values and the kind of privileged upbringing that teaches men to see themselves as the main character. Billy literally has one of those scary tiktok boy moms, like when we see Nancy in Scream 2 she fully excuses all of his behaviour. He's been brought up not having to take accountability or consider the real effects of his actions. Neither of them have.

So yeah tldr: They aren't insane, they do have some legit mental health issues the way I write them, but none of that stuff causes their actions in the movie. Their actions are caused by a toxic combination of sexism and main character syndrome, which are not mental health issues.

I hope all that makes sense!

#stuilly #scream #debaser fanfic #tw mental health #ask

[good-beans]

HI @rainbowghostcat and @boxx-sama -- I have been enabled so I'm here to ramble a bit about my faves >:3 Top three are definitely Fuuta, Mahiru, and Yuno! Good taste gang !!🤝✨✨✨

It's a mix of enjoying their songs, genuinely getting into their stories, and relating to them just enough to go a little crazy asdfsd :') Shidou comes in at a close 4th, I love him a lot but I'm not as insane as I am about these guys lmao.

I was holding onto these asks to ramble when I had the time/energy but uuuuhhh I didn't mean to go on for so long sorry 😭 Woe, 03 06 02 thoughts be upon ye...

Starting with Fuuta!! His character has everything – He’s cool, he’s lame, he’s terrifying, he’s tragic, he’s funny, he’s unbearably real, he’s my silly little guy, he makes me cry, etc. The core of his character that always gets me is how normal he is. How he’s probably closest to the majority of the audience – he (and Kazui) are the only ones who did not have murder on their mind at all. He anticipated harm, but the thought of someone dying never once crossed his mind. He’s right around teens/early twenties. He engages with the online world a lot. So many milgram fans are in that age range, on the internet a lot (in order to enjoy the project and its fanbase), feel a strong sense of justice (since they’re so engaged in a project about morality), and aren’t in any situation dramatic enough that they expect anyone to die. He’s so much like all of us. 

Continuing on that, his heart really is in the right place to start. He cares deeply about people and society, which is why he wants to fix it. His vision is a bit small, focusing on petty issues rather than huge social issues, but the point is he cares. He attacks Es because he’s trying to be the brave representative after hearing Haruka and Yuno were attacked. He yells at Kazui and Mahiru because they’re not helping the others. He takes care of Haruka. He gives Mahiru a birthday gift even when he has nothing to give. 

His biggest issue is, he doesn’t belong. I’ve written up a whole analysis on how he’s written very neurodivergent: he misses social cues, he’s on the outskirts of friendships and groups. It’s more clear in characters like Haruka and Muu, but Fuuta is just as incredibly desperate for attention. For love. For that feeling of belonging in a group. His knightly fantasies aren’t ones of violence and weapons – they’re mostly scenes of him surrounded by a close-knit party of adventurers who are cheering him on. 

All of this together is what makes him so compelling and so tragic to me. All the characters are human and real, but he’s the closest to a lot of viewers (myself included). He let the attention get to his head for just a bit too long, let himself get swept away in finally having friends. He got distracted thinking that the focus of being a hero was defeating, and not protecting. And all it took was a brief time of getting drunk on this attention, and now he has a little girl’s blood on his hands. It makes me absolutely insane.

I also think he’s such a cool special case because he truly got a taste of his own medicine. The other characters are being judged in an unfamiliar way, but he is being scrutinized in the Exact same way that Fuuta pried open others’ privacy. He was attacked and almost died because of Es’ judgment, just as his victim was attacked because of his judgment. The process of Milgram is putting him in his victim’s shoes, and it’s so cool to see.

Aaaaand on a lighter note – he’s just so fun!! He’s my little skrunkly fr!!! I love his shit-eating grin. I love his ridiculous laugh. I love his crooked teeth. I love the knight theme, and the fire symbolism. It’s pretty standard, but it suits him perfectly. He’s got such cool, badass songs! I’m obsessed with his voice, both his singing and vd performances are incredible. His vds are the only ones I’ll listen to often and out of the blue – Arthur Lounsbery uses such an interesting and fun voice for him ;--; His design is so fun (apparently I have a Type for redhead characters…), and his t2 development and design were amazing! There has been no other Milgram character that I want to reach through the screen and shake violently by the shoulders and also hug so badly 😂

I’m so obsessed with her theme of ‘being so kind that it causes harm’!! Because it’s very easy to dismiss the other characters as unforgivable when you look at the harm they wanted to cause their victim, or disregard they had for their victim’s feelings. But Mahiru… she doesn’t want to cause any harm. At all. She took her boyfriend’s feelings into consideration so much so that she didn’t stop him when she definitely should have. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body and yet she fucked up big time!! It’s such a unique type of murder!! The other characters need to be sat down and told “don’t hurt innocents, don’t seek revenge, don’t be selfish, etc” and then Mahiru is over here like “don’t be… nice to people.” Because it’s not about being nice per se – it’s about not being a doormat. 

(I know her story is still a bit mysterious – my running theory is that her bf had health issues completely separate from their relationship. They started getting bad and he started to consider suicide. Instead of stopping him, Mahiru combined her need to copy her lover (as seen a lot in TIHTBILWY), her ideas that lovers do everything together, and her belief that one should do anything they set their mind to (as seen in her comments about Es/Kotoko and the attack). She says she’ll join him, make it a lovers’ suicide, but doesn’t follow through at the last second.)

She (and Mikoto) have really interesting themes of how not caring for yourself can actually hurt others. They put all their efforts into giving back to others, to society, fitting into the norms and expectations, not questioning others, and it backfires catastrophically. If she had stood up for herself and her relationship, she would not have assumed anyone deserved to die. She would have known that it wasn’t up to her alone to deal with her bf’s mental issues. She obviously wasn’t handling it correctly (rats….) but she didn’t need to! She should have pointed him to professionals instead of deciding she deserved to die along with him! But she was so poisoned by society’s expectations of being the perfect girlfriend and being considerate of others…

She’s just such a tragic case because the power of love is supposed to be perfect. She’s been taught her whole life that it’s wonderful and magical and pure. Who can kill with the power of love, after all? I can completely understand her denial of the situation, because I also wouldn’t picture a terrifying, dark scene if I knew I was only being nice for my whole life! 

And her crime aside – she’s super fun :3 She has The Most Fun songs, she’s full of energy and excitement and enthusiasm! (out of the various english covers I like, hers is the one I jam out to most often hehe). She’s the most stunning character there! I’m a sucker for sunshine-coded characters 🌻🌻🌻I think she has the best symbols out of everyone, between the birdcage and the carousel. The fact that both Mahiru and her bf could be the bird and the cage. The two symbols representing beautiful things that can be trapping. Representing cycles. Representing relationships. I know the hourglass is a popular one but I think this is Yamanaka's finest set of symbols. I am unwell about it. So yeah, rather than give her a good shake I want to yank her right out of there – Get in loser we’re gonna get you some self-love!!!!

And a slightly shorter rant on Yuno because that was a lot adfsdf. Ad I'm aware of the irony that one of my points is that it kinda sucks how most rants on Yuno are cut short :( The thing is, she’s been very honest about her crime, and most people have considered her issue in a context outside of Milgram so they already have a pretty good idea on where their vote stands. Despite being the “obvious” innocent one, she really is the most emotionally charged character imo. It’s easy to relate to the other characters and feel knee-jerk reaction, but none have been so widely discussed as abortion and sex work. I can talk openly about everyone else and get into a nice discussion on morals and emotions, but Yuno is the one character I have to talk very, very carefully around. Whether I’m rambling about Milgram to my family or interacting with new fans, I never know what’s acceptable to say without falling into a whole debate on politics.

So, if it’s made me into someone who keeps quiet and skirts around things, I shudder to imagine the amount of lying/masking Yuno herself must do on a daily basis. I can easily avoid the topic if I choose to – she was dealing with that debate long before coming to Milgram, and is currently dealing with debates and judgements and insults and pity surrounding it. She’s naturally strong so I think fans often forget all the shit that this 18yo is dealing with on a daily basis, and how effortless she’s making it look <3

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #mahiru shiina #yuno kashiki #❤️🧡🩷 #LMAO SORRY #im just yellin about some of my favorite things -- feel free to yell back! (or completely ignore me asdfsdfs) #thank you tsumi for the dividers! #and the base for that phone meme was going around but lmk if you want it and i can link it #ask #rose posts

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Neurodivergency stuff:

Having a character hyperfixation is so bizarre

[a rant about how character hyperfixations are different than special interests, how seeing Hobies makes me feel, and also daydreams that I don't necessarily control]

I talk about stuff like this here because I feel it should be normalized 🥺😁

I love Hobie. He's my hyperfixation.

But it's not like a special interest or normal hyperfixation. Like I love trains and subways and metros and I'll eat up ANYTHING about them but like - the interest is completely from an intellectual standpoint.

My Hobie hyperfixation is completely different.

Bruh I get about as much comfort looking at his photo as I do like hugging my own mother or some shit and that's not an understatement

Especially actual screenshots of the movie. Like I love fanart but for it to hit right it has to be 'actually him'.

Looking at photos of him genuinely calms me down and thinking about his voice makes me feel safe. I trust him.

I can accurately 'daydream' about him doing almost anything in vivid detail, but I'm not necessarily in control of him in those daydreams. There are just certain things he won't do. If I ask him a question I won't know the answer unless I 'ask' him. And if I don't like is answer I can't just change it cause he said what he said!!!

Um but yeah at least for me it's way more than 'Oh I love this character and reading fics about him' and way closer to 'this is somehow a person to me I talk to through my head. And I can feel the same warm feelings towards him as I do an actual existing human.

I know I can't touch him or hug him - and that gives the exact same emotion as if you were missing a friend that went away to college.

I know it's not the same, but my brain produces the same feeling from different scenarios than other people.

Like just by looking at this photo I can imagine the way his vest feels and what is like to hold his hand, and the fabric of his shirt, the way he smells, his guitar by my leg - and it's like ... I'm not trying to do that that's just what happens when I look at the photo

AND I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT ANY OTHER WAY OR ANY CLEARER AND I-

At least twice I week I have a daydream of Hobie rubbing my back and telling me to calm down and how he understands why I'm upset all in his accent in a very specific detailed rendition of his home thats never been shown on screen before-

And the emotional response is just as real and holds weight in my brain the same. It's way beyond just an intellectual interest, at least in my case.

Character hyperfixations are more emotional connections.

And IDK if that's how it is for everyone else??!!!! But uhhhh!!!!! Yeah- ummmm- haha yah mhm

I hope somebody can relate but like waking up and looking at a Hobie photo feels like waking up beside him and THAT'S THE TRUTH and if you think that's weird or cringe then

Homie idk what you want me to tell you it is what it is

And some people may find that weird or cringe or whatever I don't give the slightest fuck because isn't that amazing that the human brain can do that - see a human creation and take some much meaning and emotion from it, making a full circle of human creation and art powered souly by human emotion and the ridiculously sophisticated imagination humans are only capable of through centuries of evolution right

But can somebody tell me if it's like this for them or if not what does your Hobie hyperfixation look like

Also if you have daydreams too please tell me about them like can you control him in them like a Barbie doll, or is he completely independent?

Mines is probably 90% independent - there's somethings either outside of his character or things he just won't do

[like for those who follow me, in my head I can ask Hobie to take me to the locked basement, and he'll absolutely say no. And if I try to imagine him doing it, the daydream I imagine is a lot more paperthin, plus Hobie will say "That's not it and that's not me, quit imagining me like that-" and I can't continue the daydream

I-]

Since I just exposed myself lemme just-

#HELLO IS THIS THING ON #spiderman #atsv #hobie brown #marvel #spider man #spider punk #spiderpunk #across the spiderverse #Autism #ADHD #neurodivergency #actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd #madd #maladaptive daydreaming

[technogeist1890]

Watching The Chosen is just...such a surreal experience for me.

Like, I grew up in a religious environment, my faith was basically instilled in me from a young age. Church was a mandatory attendance thing, and reading Bible stories was just that; reading stories about people who we were taught actually existed.

But THIS??

They make the people REAL.

Like, you see Mary helping this lady set up for her son's wedding, and then Jesus shows up with the disciples and just. Hugs. His mother.

Like AAAAA.

They emphasize the fact that to everyone around him, Jesus was just. Kind of. A Guy™️.

Like, "Oh that's Jesus, Mary's kid. He used to do carpentry, but now he travels around with this ragtag group of people and teaches. He's really nice though, so we don't say anything about it!"

And Matthew, oh my word, M a t t h e w.

He's so neurodivergent.

No question.

Mans has all his tunics lined up in a row, he's very focused on the rules of his job (Gaius: "Go home." Matthew: "But it's not the end of the day yet.") Dude barely makes eye contact. So neurodivergent, I absolutely love him and can relate.

Also, lemme just talk about the costume design for a second?

The Egyptian lady in episode 5???

She's so visually different from the Jewish characters.

Like, I'm talking beads, a headwrap, gold stuff hanging off everywhere--

Damn!

But they don't make it look s c h l o c k y. It looks like stuff a real woman would wear.

#the chosen

[pray4byron]

I was waiting for an opening as I saw you had match ups available and would love to see who you'd put me with.

Preference for male characters from Hazbin Hotel

About me: You can call me Claire. I'm AFAB she/her, 5'3", panromantic demisexual. I'm Tim Burton pale, brown eyes, messy curly bob brown hair, glasses with glasses chains usually, chubby but strong, dress either romantic gothic feminine or butch cryptidcore, like no in between, never wear make up because sensory hell.

Some type of neurodivergent but not diagnosed specifically. I tend to know a little about a lot of things due to jumping from focus to focus. Queen of Dad jokes, rather blunt since I'm not subtle. Aside from English can speak Latin, some Gaelic, some Spanish, a little bit of Turkish/Arabic, Church Greek and Slavonic, and random phrases in Russian, German, and Italian. I'm ENFP, Ares cabin from PJO if that means anything.

I teach preschool, love children as they're so fun to be around and the possibilities they have ahead are wonderful. I also bake, sew, knit, read tons of books, collect rocks and other nature stuff, tend to the gardens, I sing in my choir, and like to listen to music. Not specific music genres that I care for, more vibes, but been into some Bauhaus lately, along with SJ Tucker and The Dead South.

My faith is important to me, I even am considering pursuing becoming a religious sister at a convent, like a nun.

I do love horror, romantic gothic poetry (Think Poe and the like), analog horror(DOAI, Mandela Catalogue), Dr. Who, bad b movies (think Redletter media level bad), animation in general, HB HH, stuff like that, I read everything and anything so long as the narrative is interesting or the subject is a hyperfixation of mine, such as Religions, Mythology, History relating to late Medieval to Elizabethan, textiles, fantasy, or speculative biology (like thought potato on youtube). I also do dress in character for the Renaissance Festival, people assume I work there as I have season passes for the last 5 years and attend all weekends from open to close.

I tend to be a sweet tooth, love any chocolate, baked goods with richness or chocolate flavors, drink lots of coffee, tea, sweet red wines, mead, rum based cocktails or dark malty beers if we're going alcohol, though I tend to be the driver if I'm going to party somewhere. My giving love language is touch and words, along with acts of service. My receiving love language is words, touch, and gift giving. I love to cook or make gifts for others, usually don't expect it in turn.

I'm loud, maternal, weirdly dark yet wholesome, and able to lift a toilet with my bare hands up two flights of stairs. I tend to talk either like a southern grandma or terminally online weirdo with random swears. When friends have a bad breakup I'm like do you want a hug or does someone have to die?

In relationships I can be very talkative, but also in a sense the less dominant partner. Like, I handle the day to day, but not great at organizing the dates, the stuff like that's more romantic. I'd hope my partner could handle that part. I'm also romantically easily flustered. Like squeaking and burning red in the face from genuine good flirting.

So hope you can find someone right for me, God Bless you dear.

hello claire!! i decided to pair your with…

Lucifer !!

First of, he loves your love of kids, and let’s be real, he probably has a love of kids as well, as much as Charlie is an adult, he would probably eagerly introduce you to her after finding out this tidbit of info

Honestly, to him, you give off very strong, emotional support wifey vibes and honestly he is all in for it haha

Lucifer doesn’t mind that you can be very talkative, infact, he enjoys it.

He tries to make it fairly easy when it comes to planning dates for you, so most of the time, you both just stay in

Also, Luci is definitely someone who gets flustered easily, so you both just end up giddy and smiley at eachothers shy little flirty comments and it’s the most heart warming thing

#hazbin hotel #x reader #mio’s writing ! ☆ #fanfiction #x y/n #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel x you #x you #mio’s matchups ! ☆ #reqs closed #hazbin lucifer #lucifer magne #lucifer x y/n #lucifer x you #lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar

[love-toxin]

As someone who is on both the ADHD and autism spectrums, but wishes to remain anonymous....

Would the fruity four still... like me? Even if I'm weird and stim with my hands? Or if I say weird things and curse creatively? It's been a massive self esteem battle for me, because both of the people that I dated previously left me when I confided in them that I was on both the ADHD and autism spectrums....

first of all, im so sorry that happened my love! nobody deserves that, especially not such a sweet person <3 ty for sending me this ask not only bc you're giving me a reason to self-indulgently write about the fruity four with an autistic angel, but also bc!!! we're really alike!!! i love knowing there's somebody i can relate to out there 🥺🥺

I'll start off by saying; yes, of course! The fruity four are strong personalities and people, they have a bond with you that couldn't be broken by something like that, because it's part of what makes you you–and that's exactly what they love! The very thought of giving up on their true love because of a label is just bonkers, it makes no sense and they would be echoing that to you whenever you feel insecure about it. Also, let it be known that I'm totally on the train of headcanoning both Eddie and Robin as being on the spectrum. I like to think Eddie's stronger on the autistic side, whereas Robin is more adhd with her social skills being more pronouncedly autistic. So with this in mind, I think they'd already be very sensitive to whatever your personal experiences are on either spectrum! And they can relate to you inherently a lot better than most people, including both Nancy and Steve.

Not to say that those two are oblivious or apathetic, however, because they certainly are not! They just don't have the same experiences to empathize with you, so they've gotta put a little more work in to help themselves understand how you operate. Your boundaries are a relatively easy thing to start off with; they're something they've probably already gone over, just not as in-depth as they're used to. You might sit there shy and a little teary-eyed even, worrying yourself to death that they're going to laugh at you or make fun of the things that you say you need or that bother you, but Nancy and Steve will be so patient in listening and Robin and Eddie will encourage you to say everything that comes to mind. Your shared space is always a safe space, there's no fear of abandonment or rejection that you need to worry about here, and they'll do as much reassuring as it takes until you really feel comfortable and secure in knowing that. No moment of irritation or frustration or any meltdown will scare them away, no matter how big it gets. And they'll never think of you as childish for anything that you do or anything you get upset about.

Nancy's probably one of the easiest people to confide in about being on the spectrum, as a person who isn't perceivably on it herself. Even though she doesn't experience life in the same way you do, she's a fantastic listener and she treats your explanations and understanding your neurodivergency almost like a hobby in itself. When you mention some term or new behavior that you can't put a name to, she's off to the library to research anything and everything that has to do with autism and adhd–and soon she's the one coming to you not just with questions, but new information she picked up and surveys she wants to do to compare your personal experience to the studies she reads, to see if what's been published is accurate to the real-life experience. And you can damn well bet she's committing a bit of library graffiti in her chosen books if she comes across insensitive articles or tampered studies, or really anything that suggests that autism is some kind of disease or that it's a walking death sentence to any poor parent that finds their child is diagnosed with. She'll scratch out those horrid comments and outright false statements and write the corrections in the margins so long as she has the evidence, to the point that she pouts when she gets banned from borrowing any books for a month when she gets caught. "It was worth it," she insists, more concerned with getting the truth out there than being lectured by the crotchety old librarian–and you can bet she'll stand by her opinions even in public, even with strangers and ill-mannered people, because knowing you feel safe and wanted matters more to her than smiling and nodding along.

The only one that might be put off is Steve, but not in a bad way, and only at first. He's not as used to the way you and Eddie socialize, primarily because he's grown up and has gotten adjusted to the ways that neurotypical kids interact with each other. The way he carries himself and how he speaks to people is what he thinks is normal, so while he sees bluntness or awkward wording or seemingly oblivious social cues as abnormal, he doesn't think it's a bad thing at all. Clearly by the way he and Eddie exchanged conversation when they first met, he's more endeared by it than anything else, even though it takes him more time to understand it. He's used to picking between the lines of conversation to pick up cues and body language of whatever the other person isn't saying out loud, but luckily he's quick to realize that you don't necessarily speak the same way, and he just has to listen to you to know what you're trying to say. And once he learns about masking and sees you slowly become more comfortable with not doing it around him, he gets soooooo excited because he really feels like you're bonding, then, and that you trust him enough to stim or chatter on around him!

And with Eddie and Robin? They're so tuned in it's honestly hilarious. Eddie's constantly on the hunt for things he knows are part of your special interests–he finds little pieces of merch from bands or shows or movies you like, or things that are your favourite colour that he thinks you'll like. And he knows what your favourite animals are and what fabrics and textures you like, and pretty much anything and everything that has to do with your interests is noted down so he can use the information to his advantage. Robin's the same way, although you and her can talk for hours about the things you're passionate about, to the point that you both might forget to eat or sleep until exhaustion finally takes over, and you pass out in her bed or on the couch together.

Also, stimming? It's a normal thing in the household, and they will absolutely make sure that you feel like it's normal. Eddie tugs on his hair and plays with his watch, flaps his hands, claps, cracks his knuckles–and Robin has a few vocal stims like humming or making other little sounds through her teeth, aside from spinning her rings around and sometimes pacing around in circles with music or a movie on in the background. If you're restless and you move around a lot while they're cuddling with you, they get used to it quickly, and if you have days where you just absolutely do not want to be touched, they know that it's not personal and don't get offended if that goes on for awhile. It's the nice thing about having multiple partners, none of you really need to worry about feeling lonely or not having someone to confide in when someone isn't able to.

It's just a good time all around, really. They love you, you make them happy, and there's too much bad in this world for them to toss aside someone that really cares for them. Besides, how different are you from them, really? Each of them have things to deal with that frustrate them sometimes, or make them feel like they're a burden themselves. It's just a matter of accepting it, coping with it, and moving along, and letting the cycle repeat as many times as it needs to to let you enjoy life with the people you love.

#fruity four #fruity four x reader #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #eddie munson #steve harrington x reader #nancy wheeler x reader #eddie munson x reader #robin buckley x reader #st 4 #stranger things #ellie writes #anons

[ladyriot]

Can I just say the writers did something so interesting in making Maura's favourite book Anne of Green Gables? And especially in bringing it up in this episode (5x12, yes I'm watching this show very fast; sue me, it's the weekend). The undercurrent it gives knowing that story while watching this one blows my mind.

So in this episode, Maura has to connect with her own childhood to access a connection with Jack's daughter and it so clearly digs up some things for her. She wants to impress her.

If you can't tell by my spelling alone, I'm a Canadian. And I studied English in university, so of course I've looked at this book in academic context before. Anne of Green Gables is something that gets analyzed as queer, as neurodivergent, and as trauma narrative. And oh my gosh is that interesting in the context of a character like Maura.

Maura who, like Anne, has a lonely childhood where she feels unwanted. Anne whose upbringing as an orphan is really tough with early guardians who only see her value in what she does for others and not who she is herself. Anne who combats that loneliness and darkness in part by trying to be unique, who loves flowers and beautiful things and wants nothing more than a specific cut of dress she's never had before and to be liked and wanted. Anne who creates this rich inner world and daydreams all the time to avoid the realities of her life (anyone remember Maura's wedding fantasies?). Anne who gets mocked and teased at school, but also has an imaginative side that draws in a whole host of friends too. I can see Maura wanting that part, seeing a beacon of hope in her because she's different but she's loved.

And, oh, could I go on. Anne whose trauma and neurodivergent traits have her constantly assuming her new guardians don't want her every time she makes a mistake or makes a mess of things, who constantly sees herself as bad, who can so easily see herself as trouble, as someone who only gets to ruin things and doesn't get to have things (some possible rejection sensitive dysphoria in that). Uh, big Maura vibes. I talk just a little about Maura being similar in this post here, but I could go on with that too.

Maura is still insecure. She still immediately assumes people won't like her, that Jack's daughter won't like her. That nobody wants her for real or for very long or when she can't give them something. She talks about being a weird kid in this episode. She tells Allie this:

I've seen literary analysis suggesting Anne might have possible ADHD, possible autism or cptsd. Maura, are you sitting over there and relating? Anne socializes differently. Anne gets caught up in all sorts of trouble because she thinks and acts differently, interacting with the world in a way unlike she's always expected to by others. Anne goes on long winded asides, giving stories to nature and ordinary things to the annoyance and/or affection of the people around her. She's constantly seeking out "kindred spirits" who get her even though she's different... like Maura does, like Maura probably wanted very much when she was young and reading this. Like Maura probably still does as she goes on her 'joy of science' asides.

And, Anne's often read as queer due to her almost overly dedicated friendship with Diana. For instance, Anne goes into this melodramatic tirade when Diana's parents don't want them spending time together after an accident with alcohol, with an over-the-top apology and very very mushy goodbye. They refer to each other as "bosom friends" and hold their friendship above all their others in a way that often reads queer. Now come on, this is Rizzoli and Isles, Jane and Maura. If you don't want me to read Maura as queer, Anne of Green Gables is the worst story to say is her favourite. And the worst story to bring up in this episode.

This is such an interesting choice for the storytelling to take. I just can't let it go as coincidence. I just take it as confirmation that Maura saw herself in all these aspects of Anne's character. Which, all in all, makes the end of this episode even more cutting. This is Maura watching her bosom friend, her kindred spirit, her Diana jump off a bridge and leave her alone.

And oh my god is that compelling.

#rizzoli and isles #maura isles #a little character study and a little #rizzles #this rewatch is emotionally wrecking me btw if you can't tell lol #this will be one of the episodes i watch like fourteen times

[0ryza13]

So I'm having a small crisis, it's fine, don't worry, but I gotta share.

So my childhood went by with me as the "weird kid" and the "gifted kid", as you do on Neurodivergence dot Website, right?

Then I'm like 18, 19 and I'm in college, and I'm like huh all these posts about ADHD are really fuckin relatable. So I go to my psychologist and say "hey uh I think I maybe have ADHD can we check that and maybe get me on meds to help with school?"

And she goes yeah sure and within like two weeks I have an ADHD diagnosis and a script for meds (I ended up havign to try a few different ones to find the right one for me but that's a different post).

And then a couple years later, im like 21, 22, and I'm thinking to myself "man all these autism posts are really fuckin relatable" so I just kind of ignore that one cause I had stuff going on. Then I take a self-diagnosis test online and im like "I'm putting in all the Normal People answers, there's no way I'm gonna score very high at all" and then I score wayyyyy into the spectrum. And I go "well then."

So the next time I see my psychologist I bring that up, and she goes "oh yeah all of you, my Gifted Kids, absolutely could qualify for that diagnosis. But I don't diagnose any of you with that because that is not a good thing to have written down on paper [because discrimination in workplaces and also by insurance companies and so on and so forth]" and I go "oh yeah makes sense okay then" and I start internalizing that I basically have a bit of autism.

And then I see my psychologist again, and I'm briefly talking about the autism thing for some reason (I forget how it came up exactly) and she goes "yeah but you don't actually have autism. You know that right?" And I go "... huh?"

"Yeah autism is a lot worse than what you have. You know how actual autistic people have it, right?" Yes I know, I have a cousin who is pretty severely autistic, he needs a lot of support in his daily life, etc etc. But back up, I thought you said-???

"Yeah no, what you have is Aspergers, but that was removed from the books as an actual diagnosis. Anybody with aspergers is just considered high-functioning Autistic now. You have Aspergers, not Autism, I just cant give you a diagnosis until the higher powers agree to reinstate Aspergers as a real thing."

Oh. Well then. Hmm.

(And of course this is making me wonder how many of the people who were making those relatable autism posts are also actually Aspergers Not Autism)

[Edit: please reblog the other version. The longer one with all the explanations from people. Thanks.]

#neurodivergence #autism #aspergers #personal #mental health #tagging is hard #edit