#and then stare at my ceiling until the unforseeable future

[gingiesworld]

Love is Gone

Natasha Romanoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst. Unhappy ending

18+ MINORS DNI

AN: Thank you guys for 1k followers. So this is here in celebration for you awesome people. Also I don't think I can move away from writing sad Nat fics.

Both Y/N and Natasha lay side by side on their once shared bed. The closet door was open as Nat's clothes were all being packed away, along with her belongings. The argument leading up to this moment still clear as day in both of their minds.

Then

The two walked inside the apartment, a heavy tension surrounding the two as Y/N kept replaying the words they had heard her say to one of her closest friends at a party. Nat watched as Y/N headed towards the fridge to grab a beer before they turned to face her.

"So are you going to keep stringing me along or put me out of my misery." They asked her calmly as they took a sip of their beer.

"Y/N." Nat started but Y/N just laughed at her, seeing how she was trying so hard to save herself.

"You know how you made me look to our friends? You made me seem unloveable." Y/N stated as they placed the bottle down on the counter. "Even hearing you say it to them when you thought I wouldn't hear. Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I don't know." Nat started as they just nodded. "I guess I was comfortable in what we have and I didn't want to lose that."

"But you don't love me anymore." They stated dryly. "That's what you told Wanda. You told her you care about me more as a friend."

"I just." Nat tried to think of ways to take it all back as her heart beat loudly in her ears. "I can't explain it but I don't feel the same as I used to."

"So just end it! Don't string me along thinking that we have a future together!" They yelled. "Don't keep this going up to the point I buy a ring and get down on one knee!"

"You were going to propose?" She whispered as Y/N pulled the small box from their pocket and placed it on the side.

"I was going to do it tonight, when we got home." They told her. "I had a plan for it all but now that isn't needed and saves me a headache." They chuckled dryly.

"I'm so sorry Y/N." She whispered as they nodded before heading towards their room with her on their heels. She watched as they grabbed her luggage and started to pack her bags.

"It's done now." They stated as they focused on the task at hand. "We're done so you don't have to keep pretending to care about me."

"Y/N." She reached for their hand that remained on the zipper. "Lay with me. One last time."

Now

It was hours as Y/N looked into her eyes, remembering how different they seem to them now. They used to find love and peace whenever they used to gaze into them, but now all they feel is despair and pain.

"Where will you go?" They asked her, even though their heart is breaking, they still worry about her.

"Yelena's." She told them as she reached for their face. Her fingers tracing their features as it took everything within them not to flinch under her touch. "Just until I can get my own place."

"Good." Y/N whispered as they moved to lay on their back. "We should finish packing your things." Nat watched as they got up and continued their task. It was pressing on 4am when they had finished packing. The ring still sat on the kitchen counter as Y/N moved to lay on the sofa, leaving the bed for Natasha. The two lay staring at the ceiling as the morning wore on, neither sleeping before Y/N had left. Leaving Natasha to pack her car before she headed to stay with her sister for the unforseeable future.

"So she's gone?" Bucky questioned as he stood with Y/N who had decided to redecorate all of a sudden.

"Yup." They told him. "And I am decorating."

"You were going to propose." He stated as he held the ring box in his hands.

"Last night after the party. I had it all planned Buck." They told him. "I had the roof set up and I was going to do it when we came home. Under the stars but I heard her, everything she said about me. Everything about not loving me. She still cares about me as a friend but she doesn't love me."

"Y/N, maybe you should give yourself time." He suggested as Y/N shook their head no.

"I can't do that, we have the same friends Buck. We will still see each other and I am asking for a transfer. Out of state." They told him before turning to finish their task at hand. "I need to leave New York and move on and I can't move on here."

"But what about the rest of us?" He asked them sadly.

"I'm going to rent to Peter, he is just starting school and it's a good price for him and I will still have my room here for when I visit." They told him. "Especially for yours and Steve's wedding." They smirked as he shook his head.

Once Y/N had left New York, word had gotten to Nat who had started to feel guilty. Everything that she used to love about the state had started to suffocate her. Even her sister was disappointed in her with how she led Y/N on.

"It's my fault they've left." Nat stated as she sat on her sister's sofa. "I ran them out of the city."

"Yeah it is your fault." Yelena agreed. "Maybe if you were honest to the both of you, they would still be here."

"I know." Nat whispered as she covered her face with her hands.

As the months went on, Y/N had settled in the new office in California. What they never expected was to run into an old face they hadn't seen since that night. The two had soon started to talk as she stayed in California, helping with her parents cafè.

Even though Y/N had thought that they wouldn't be happy again, they started to feel whole again with the more time they spent with her, they started to fall for her.

"Are you going back to New York for Bucky's wedding?" She asked them as they walked through the streets of LA.

"Of course." They confirmed with a smile. "He is my best friend." They stopped their movements as they turned to face her. "Would you be my date?" They asked her. "I know this may seem sudden but I just, I really like you Wanda and being here with you has been like a breath of fresh air."

"I would love to be your date." She told them with a bright smile and a kiss upon their cheek before they walked her home. Even as the wedding came closer, Y/N and Wanda had spent most of their spare time together. Even sharing their first kiss on her doorstep, leaving the two blushing as she went inside.

So as they entered the venue, Wanda gave their hand a squeeze. She knew of their feelings about New York but she knew they would never let their friend down, regardless of their feelings.

"Are you ok?" Wanda whispered as the two soon spotted a now red head.

"Yeah." Y/N gave her a genuine smile. "I am great actually." Wanda kissed their lips softly before the ceremony begun. Watching as their best friend married his soul mate, a smile on their face at the happy union. Even as their eyes met those green eyes they used to love, they didn't feel pain or despair. There was no longing or love. Their was nothing really, they never felt anything towards Natasha, not anymore. At the realisation, they kissed Wanda's head as the newly weds walked down the aisle arm in arm as everyone applauded.

"That was beautiful." Wanda told them with a smile.

"It was." They heard Natasha speak from behind them. "So, you two are together?" She questioned as Y/N smiled tenderly at Wanda.

"We are." They answered her question. "Going on three months now."

"You both look happy." Nat observed as the two nodded. Wanda went away to get some drinks, leaving the two exes together.

"You know, I was worried about seeing you again, I thought all of that pain would return when I saw you." Y/N started as they looked Natasha in the eye. "But I don't feel anything. I truly have moved on from you, even if I thought it would be impossible to do, but I have Wanda and I am falling for her."

"Do you see a future with her like you did me?" Nat questioned.

"Not like I did you." Y/N told her. "I actually see Wanda and I growing old together. Having a family together. I see a future set in stone with her. I never had that with you. I only ever saw marrying you and nothing more."

"I'm happy for you both." Nat swallowed dryly. "Just make sure you both make each other happy." With that, she walked away as Wanda was making her way with the drinks. In that moment, she knew that there was no love left between the old lovers, just distant memories of what used to be.

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