#and then i went to a youth group thing tonight and i just

[kedreeva]

When I was a kid, maybe 14 or so (which is, you know, 20+ years ago), I belonged to a Yahoo! mailing list for an anime called Gundam Wing. It was mostly populated by other teens, of varying ages, as it was started by a teen and her friends. Eventually it migrated, when Yahoo! groups started as forums, and even branched off into non-GW related stuff in a second forum.

One of the things I remember the most clearly is the oldest person in the group. Her name was Steelsong. She was a 40-something Dom with a sub whose name we knew even though we knew nothing else. She ran her own fanfic archive because the web was still handmade HTML and navigated in webrings and I’m pretty sure Google didn’t exist or was only barely, barely launched and not well known. She was kind and patient and we loved her. She treated everyone on the group with the respect given any adult, even though most of the rest of the world was still treating us like we were children. Not teenagers even, but children. She never once condescended to any of us, never made our youth a barrier to her respect, never treated us like we were incapable of being full people or like we were less than her because we were young.

I remember that she hosted our fanfiction, as absolutely terrible as it was (and I still have some of it, I am WELL aware of how cringingly terrible it is, just absolute nonsense garbage), right there alongside of other fic that was soul-achingly beautiful. Not a separate section for her friends or for kids, just right there like we were good enough to feature alongside other authors. I never once received crit from her that I didn’t ask for, only support. Only love. I am still writing today partly because Steel was so kind about our fic, fanfic and original.

I remember that when I started doing clay sculpture, she commissioned a tiny pair of dragons from me, to support me doing artwork. She sent a check my mom cashed for me, and my mom helped me mail it when it was finished. It broke in transit, and Steel assured me that she mended it and that it was still beautiful. It was a small gold dragon curled up with a small silver dragon.

I remember that her patience knew no bounds. I remember that she was there for us, regardless of reason. When we wanted to know silly things like what to do with a single AA battery, she answered. When we had serious questions about sex, she answered.  When we had questions about writing, she taught us. When one of our group members, a young gay teen in Australia, ended up in the hospital and then stopped making posts, and we all knew what had happened, she let us talk to her about it because we couldn’t go to our own parents, even though we had just lost a friend.

She was not a replacement to my parents, but she was an extra parent, in some ways. A friend, certainly, but someone that had been through more life than we had and was willing to pass on knowledge if we asked for it. Someone older that we trusted with things that were too uncomfortable to go to our parents or teachers or whatever about, because we already knew she wasn’t going to judge us or something, and that we would get an honest answer.

I don’t know why I’m remembering this so hard tonight, and I’m not sure if there’s a point to sharing this, except that I know she’s gone now. She was ill the last time we spoke, and her site went down a long time ago, and I miss her. She was a huge influence on my life, then and now. She was hope, for me, that life as an adult didn’t have to be boring, it wouldn’t have to mean giving up the things I loved and Becoming Only Responsible With No Fun. Her presence meant I had hope I could still write and play with friends even when I wasn’t ‘a kid’ anymore. And she’s gone, and I miss her, and I wanted to share her from the perspective of youth, and the perspective over twenty years later has provided me.

And I think of her, when people go off about older folks being in fandom with younger folks. I’m an older folks now, or at least middle aged folks because there are certainly folks older than me still, but I wasn’t always. I’ve been here since i was a younger folks, and I know how much Steel’s presence and support meant to me, how much she helped not just me but everyone on that group. And I think of the people saying older folks don’t belong in fandom, and that they shouldn’t interact with younger folks at all, and I just think... I can’t agree. I needed that kind of solid presence in my life back then and even at the age I am now, I need the folks older than me to stay. I want them here.

So I guess, like, if you’re here and you’re 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 or 80 or whatever, I want you here in fandom with me, still. Your presence here is a comfort. It is hope. It is a reminder that life will continue to be fun, even as I get older, myself. And if you’re younger and you have this sort of elder in your groups, I hope that they are like Steel. I hope they are kind and patient and supportive, and that knowing them gives you hope for your own future. I hope in twenty years you look back and remember them fondly.

#steelsong #personal #stories about ked's life #dash stretcher #fandom #god she would have loved ao3 so much #i wish i could tell her about the good things that have become

[tonightillbeonthathill]

Bruce Springsteen: I eat loneliness, man. I feed off it. The loner thing started from the very beginning. It was like I didn’t exist. It was the wall, then me. But I was working on the inside

Bruce Springsteen, 1978, about his youth:

“It was like I didn’t exist. It was the wall, then me. But I was working on the inside all the time. A lot of rock and roll people went through this solitary existence. If you’re gonna be good at something, you’ve gotta be alone a lot to practice. There has to be a certain involuntariness to it. Like my youngest sister, she could play if she wanted to. But she’s too pretty. She’s popular, you know what I mean? She ain’t gonna sit in the house in her room no eight hours a day and play the piano. No way.”

Dave Marsh: "Springsteen is a loner by nature. Even today, he is the sort of person whose favorite moments often involve being alone: speeding down a highway, or just soaking up the atmosphere at four A.M. on a deserted street."

Bruce Springsteen: “The loner thing started from the very beginning. My father’s entire family were outsiders. They didn’t give a damn what anybody thought.”

Video: Bruce Springsteen dancing on stage with his mother then playing with his sister: Dancing in the Dark, London 2013

Bruce Springsteen with his mother, and his sister.

"In fact, what was troubling Bruce personally was not far removed from what he’d already conceived as the central problem The River had tried to tackle: “People want to be part of a group yet they also want to disassociate themselves. People go through those conflicts every day in little ways: Do you wanna go to the movies tonight with your friends, or stay home? I wanted to get part of that on the record—the need for community, which is what ‘Out in the Street’ is about. Songs like The Ties That Bind’ and Two Hearts’ deal with that, too. But there’s also the other side, the need to be alone.”

Bruce was beginning to feel the downside of his loner’s life—his need to be alone was becoming something tougher, more pernicious: loneliness. He later compared his emotions to the scene in The Grapes of Wrath in which an Okie farmer tries to hold off eviction with a shotgun, only to be told that the men he wants to shoot are faceless, hidden away in boardrooms hundreds of miles away. “I felt the same way he did: Where do I point the gun?” Bruce said. “In the Seventies and Eighties, especially compared to the Sixties, it became awfully hard to identify an enemy.” Right now, though, Springsteen was fighting the enemy within."

Dave Marsh

Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band - Darkness on the Edge of Town (Live In Barcelona)

Bruce Springsteen (in the mid-Seventies): “You know, you have to be self-contained. That way you don’t get pushed around. It depends on what you need. I eat loneliness, man. I feed off it. I live on a lotta different levels, y’know, because I’ve learned to cope with people, which is—be cool all the time…I can roll with the punches. It’s a way of getting along.”

'Well now I lost my money and I lost my wife Them things don't seem to matter much to me now Tonight I'll be on that hill 'cause I can't stop I'll be on that hill with everything I got Lives on the line where dreams are found and lost I'll be there on time and I'll pay the cost For wanting things that can only be found In the darkness on the edge of town In the darkness on the edge of town'

#bruce springsteen #springsteen #songwriting #music #rock #survival #loner #the loner thing #loneliness #artist #creativity #songwriter #song #darkness on the edge of town #dancing in the dark #two hearts #friendship #Youtube #outsiders

[strangekween]

A Umataro and Hoshie Tenma One shot

She was tired. After a full day of fixing robots, measuring the data of a few researches and having to put up with really annoying and argumentative but somewhat productive colleagues, Hoshie Saruta was officially tired. One of these days, she promised she would take a really long needed rest from the stress of her work. However, like the day she was already having another bad thing was added to the list of things that did not go her way today. It was raining, and the young Robot Scientist did not have an umbrella on her. She stepped outside the ministry staying under the shade of the dome shaped awning. Stretching her hand out slightly to catch a few raindrops on her palms, she sighed while imagining her tired body stretching on her comfy bed at her apartment.

"Saruta." A deep monotone voice called from behind her. Doctor Umataro Tenma. He was part of a research team that she was also in. A brilliant Roboticist, a mysterious man but a terrible ass. She remembers what a big crush she once had on him in her youth when her Grandfather was still alive. What a big regret she has now. He was always too productive, always had his head buried in a robot, always arrogant and almost always in her way.

"You did well on that new research of yours." He spoke while he stood a few distance away from her. She let out a sigh in response. He responded with a deeper sigh before opening a long black umbrella and stepping down a few steps below her.

"If you're still upset about me resetting the data of your Peace Robot project..." He reminded, which made her angrier than she already was about the updates the Peace Robot has, but Hoshie had a thought. Could Umataro Tenma, the most arrogant Robotist in her research group be apologizing to her right now?

"You know with the structure of the Robot and the materials that went into it. You know the modifications were necessary." He spoke, much to her disappointment.

"It's a peace Robot. Meant to keep the peace of traffic and road related incidents. It didn't need all the horsepower you transferred into it." She argued.

"And waste it's potential to be greater? Why even bother making it when you aren't using your resources to the fullest?"

Umataro pointed out. Hoshie shifted her head to the side avoiding his handsome gaze.

"It was my blueprint and, you modified it without my consent." Hoshie grumbled loud enough for him to hear. Beyond the sound of raindrops pitter- patter on the steps of the Ministry, Hoshie could hear a deep sigh and the sound of heels moving up three steps.

"I'm sorry." Umataro apologized, catching Hoshie's attention. He was standing one step below her looking straight into her eyes, a small noticable blush creeping up his cheeks. She lifted up her head to look at him. A sincere, apologetic gaze graced his handsome face. It was strange hearing it from him, since Tenma was notorious for being unapologetic. There was something soft about hearing those words from him. Hoshie hadn't noticed her cheeks burning as their eyes locked gazes for a longer time than she'd expect.

"What did you say, Tenma?" She asked, not because she hadn't heard it but rather, because it gave her a reason to hear him apologize to her again.

"I'm sorry for modifying your robot without your consent." He repeated with a frown this time, clearly aware of her true intentions. Hoshie cleared her throat before looking away from him once more as she noticed the tension building between them.

"Thank you. I appreciate your apology, Tenma." Hoshie smiled gently refusing to meet him in the eye to hide the blush forming in her cheeks.

"Oh and um, Happy Valentines Day. I get, you have someone to be with tonight? I must go home now."

Tenma stated as he went down a step.

"Oh, thank you but I actually don't have one. I'm just waiting for the rain to clear so I can get home."

Hoshie replied.

"Oh? You don't have anyone to have dinner with tonight?" He questioned looking back at her from the 4 steps he had taken.

"Yeah, as I said I'm only going home. No one has really asked me out tonight so, I will be staying with my Mother tonight." She responded.

"I bet you have someone, Dr. Tenma. I hope the two of you will enjoy yourselves." Hoshie smiled while waving her hand to him goodbye. But, Umataro did not leave. He stood on the second to the last step of the Ministry just looking at Hoshie, his right hand holding unto his umbrella while his left on his briefcase, she's noticed him playing with the button on his long black trench coat since he had apologized to her, it was a sign or nervousness, a quality that Hoshie never knew Umataro Tenma could possess.

"I'm just like you, I have no one. Just going home to maybe sleep and cook ramen for myself." He informed.

"Oh that seems nice." Hoshie replied.

"Want a ride?"

He asked pointing to his car in the distance.

"No thank you. I don't want to take too much of your time." Hoshie said with gratitude.

"Oh okay. I'll be going now."

Umataro nodded to her.

"Take care, Tenma." Hoshie spoke sadly. Sad that she would have to wait another night just to see him again at work tomorrow. Just before he placed the ball of his foot on the last step of the Ministry he turned around to her once more.

"Hey!" He called out to her.

"Are you doing anything for tonight?" He asked going up the stairs slowly.

"No, like I said I'm just staying at home with my Mother tonight" Hoshie replied, watching as he returned to the same step below her.

"Have dinner with me, Saruta."

He stated, making Hoshie's blush intensify.

"Is that a question or an order?"

Hoshie cocked her brow in question.

"It's whatever you want it to be." Umataro chuckled nervously. He hand out his hand in front of her, his palm facing her.

"What?" She asked gripping the sling of her sling bag.

"Your hand." He smirked. Hoshie held herself back but, kept her gaze on him as she stretched her hand slowly out to him, placing her hand on his. She kept a watchful gaze on him while he had her hand on his palm.

She noticed him pressing something small and round on her palm before closing her fingers around the object.

"Here" He handed her the handle of his umbrella.

"How about you?" She asked taking back her hand from him.

"You aren't taking my offer of driving you to your home so might as well give you my umbrella."

He stated bringing the umbrella closer to her. Hesitantly she took the umbrella handle from his hands, fingers softly grazing each other. Hoshie brought the umbrella over her head, while her other hand remained closed housing the mysterious object that Tenma had given her.

"Thank you, Tenma." She smiled gratefully.

"You free at 6?"

Tenma asked.

"Yes I am."

She responded.

"I will pick you by then. Wear something nice." He smiled gently at her. His smile was so different, he didn't look mischievous or cunning anymore. He was, but he didn't look like it anymore. He looked almost genuine, almost loving and human.

"Thank you..." Her voice was caught in her throat, he had already been going down the stairs already.

"Thank you Tenma!"

She yelled for him, noticing his black coat, lacking the second button.

"Your welcome! I'll see you tonight!"

He yelled back waving to her before running for shelter to his car.

"Stay safe!"

She yelled just before he got in his car. A smile crept up her face. Hoshie Saruta is going on a date? With Umataro Tenma? This was a dream come true!

She opened her hand and looked at the object Umataro had pressed onto her palm. A large sized black button sat smugly in the crook of her palm. She raised an eyebrow in question, then remembered seeing the absence of Umataro's second button on his long black coat.

The button closest to his heart. The button usually given to the special someone of the owner of the coat. Their most special person.

#umataro tenma #hoshie tenma #tetsuwan atom #atom the beginning #dr tenma #astro boy #oneshot #valentines day #japanese #second button

[dangerously-human]

Went to a thing at church tonight that kicks off a series about how God has designed each of us to serve in his kingdom, which started with a spiritual gifts assessment. Anyway, I sat at a table with two of my past students, from the year we started the preteen ministry, and the pastor, who I rarely have much of a chance to talk to unless we're actively serving side-by-side, like when I helped with painting a couple weeks ago. I think my point in this is a) I'm getting more comfortable with being seen in this church, and learning to build connections even where they seem daunting (I really like my pastor, and we had a good conversation), and b) I absolutely love the lasting relationships I've been blessed with when it comes to so many of my former students, even when they're well into their youth group years. Got a hug from another of my girls this morning, someone who was our problem child for so long until we were finally able to help her feel safe and show her that no matter how hard she pushed, we weren't giving up on her, and in fact we genuinely enjoyed her. (Isn't that what so many people, especially teenagers, need to hear more than anything else?) It was a true delight eating dinner and talking church life with these girls, listening to them carefully consider who they are and how they enjoy serving and what they want that to look like as they grow into more control over their lives. I frequently serve alongside them both already, and they have real servant's hearts and an unbelievable amount of biblical wisdom considering they're just starting high school. What a privilege it is to be one of the adults who shows up for these kids and models fellowship with the Body and cheers them on as they grow up and come into their own.

#personal

[bardic-inspo]

I would love to ask you a million of these but I’ll settle for three (if you feel like answering them, of course)! 🥤 🧃🎨

Thanks for participating!!! 💛

Ahh you are so sweet, thank you so much!! 😘💜💜

[Writer's Truth or Dare Ask Game] 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

There are SO many massively talented writers out there, many of which are still on my ever-growing to-read list. I wanna send some love to @littlejuicebox's multichapter fic, Midwinter Carol, which I'm about halfway through and absolutely loving so far!

It has: Ascended Astarion! Pining for someone who's right in front of you! Divorced yearning! Beautiful, poetic prose! Just absolutely *chef's kiss* Astarion characterization! Such a compelling protagonist in Eirianwen. Girl has got backbone and I'm excited to get to know her more and see how she complements and challenges our boy. And just a the perfect balance of angst and flirty hopefulness.

The actual fic summary (below) is much better than mine. You can read the fic on AO3 or Tumblr:

Fifteen years after the Ascendant and his lover went their separate ways, they run into one another at Wyll Ravengard’s Midwinter Gala. One dance is all they share. A week later, a cataclysm of events, spurned by Eirianwen’s return, uproots the life Astarion had been building for himself. One thing is made certain: the elven sorceress is the key to any ounce of salvation he may have left, if only she stops slipping through his fingers like sand from an hourglass. But old habits die hard, and old feelings are pulled to the surface for both the elves. Astarion is forced to confront the wounds of his past and deal with the damage he's done while trying to run from himself. The Ascendant is forced to decide whether he will continue on his current path or forge a new one... perhaps one that leads him back to the love of his life.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

Hmm, I think I maybe talked about this on Twitter once, but not here. Well, I'm now pretty firmly in the agnostic (if not atheist) camp, but my parents pushed me to get confirmed as a kid (we were Lutheran). And I went to a church where, part of the youth group program was performing a traveling mime show of the passion story. Like, full on face-paint, black turtlenecks, miming Jesus getting crucified. There was a super eerie soundtrack and narration that went with it. Lots of drama over whether any of the girls could try-out for the Jesus role. Whipping sound effects. Absolutely no disrespect to anyone finding religious insight through art and whatnot. It just feels a little weird and uncomfy to me personally in retrospect. But then, religion really isn't for me. Most of the other confirmation programs I heard about my classmates doing had like, community service projects instead.

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

My first commissioned piece of Astarion and my main Tav (Naomi) was just finished tonight and I'm riding a cloud about it. They're so soft with each other and the artist did such a lovely job 🥹

There is SO much incredible BG3 and Astarion art out there. This piece really stands out to me, too. I just love how they captured Astarion's tender expression here, and how lovely he looks in this lighting:

#thank you so much for the ask!! <3 <3 #ask games #fic recs #art recs #about megh #megh speaks

[junmoonhui]

Do Re Mi

Pairing: platonic!seungcheol x reader, romantic!dino x reader

Context: the leader feels bittersweet seeing the maknae enjoy the simple little things in life, something that he wished he would have had now that he's almost 30; inspired by dino and scoups' convo in ITS season 2 ep 2; has the same lore/in the same universe as Soulmates Redefined; (wc: 2.1k)

Warnings: alcohol

"This was fun, but I think I'll head to bed now." Seungkwan said as he let out a yawn and stood from the table. After filming the second season of In The Soop and finishing up Be The Sun, the boys agreed to go on a vacation with some other people—no cameras, just friends and loved ones making the most of their youth.

"I'll go with you." Dino said, turning to face you. "Are you coming to bed with me?"

"In a while," you replied.

"Okay, I'll make some space for you on the bed." Dino brought his lips to your temple before following Seungkwan into the cabin.

"Ah, the maknaes are now going to sleep," Seungcheol said, a tipsy smile on his face. "Speaking of maknaes, where's Vernon?"

"He went to bed earlier with his girlfriend," you replied.

Time slowly creeped deeper into the night. Just two hours ago, the picnic area was buzzing with energy. Right now, most of the boys and your other friends had either resigned themselves to their beds or shifted to the karaoke room, leaving you drinking with Seventeen's leader.

"Ah," he said, not a word more. Seungcheol stared longingly at the soju bottle.

"What's wrong, oppa?" you asked.

"Hmm?" The leader seemed out of it, the soju partly to blame.

"You've been quiet tonight," you said. "Well, not quiet quiet, but you've been more solemn tonight. You don't have to tell me anything, though. I know I'm more close with the younger members, but I'm still your friend and I want to make sure all my oppas are okay."

He gave a dry chuckle. "Thank you, y/n. You don't really have to worry about it. It's okay, really."

"I know you don't want me worrying about it, but I'm always here to listen. I may be younger than you oppa, but I'm not a kid anymore. I can't promise that I can make your problems easier, but if you need to vent, I'm always here, just like how you're always there for us." You softly nudged his shoulder on his.

Seungcheol sighed, hands fidgeting with his beanie. "It's just that sometimes I get pressured being the oldest in Seventeen. I grew up in a household where I was the youngest. I hadn't really pressured myself into setting my own goals when I reach certain ages since I always thought, 'Oh, I have an older brother. I'm still young and I have a lot of time ahead of me.' But then being the oldest in this group puts things into perspective.

"Lately I've been thinking about how I'm almost 30. I usually never compare myself to my hyung because we're leading such different lives. In a lot of ways, I felt like I've achieved so much more than him—being an artist, travelling the world, accomplishing so much in my 20s. But in some ways I also feel like I'm getting too caught up in the achievements in my career. I see my hyung with a stable job and a family, and I think to myself, I want that, too. Lately I've been thinking of personal goals, like finding a partner, having a kid, maybe a home in a quieter part of Seoul.

"I know I still have a lot of time, but when I'm so close to my 30s, I also feel like time is running out when I look at the bigger picture. And when I see Vernon and his girlfriend, and you and Dino, I can't help but feel a bit jealous. Of course, I'm happy that my members are happy, and that you're happy, too. You support us in everything we do, and I'm thankful that Chan and Vernon found someone as patient as the two of you. But sometimes I also feel angry about that—or maybe I'm really just angry at myself. When I was your age, Seventeen was still a fairly new group. There really wasn't much time for vacation or dating. And it makes me jealous sometimes that you guys have so much more than I had. It makes me angry at myself because I feel like at this time, I should also be able to have the things I want on top of my career.

"I look at you and Dino and think about how you guys are on your way to building your life together while also still having time, having the chance to take it as slow as you want. And me, when am I even going to find someone?"

He let out an audible sigh and pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. After a deep exhale, he looks at you, signaling for a response.

"Wow," was all you could say, eyes wide with the revelation. "I honestly don't know how to respond to that."

Seungcheol pat your shoulder with a small laugh, his smile a bit more genuine this time. "It's okay, it really felt good to just, say that out loud, you know? My chest feels so much lighter now. Thank you, y/n, really. Chan is so lucky to find someone like you, and we're all lucky to have you in our group, too. I'm sorry for dumping this all on you."

"Hey, no apologizing for venting," you giggled. "That's what friends and drinks are for. Your feelings are valid, oppa. I may not be as old as you now, but I can see where you're coming from. How long have you felt this way?"

He looked up with a sharp inhale, as if in thought. "A few weeks maybe? I hadn't had much time to think about it, we were so busy last year. But after the new year, I realized I'm turning another year older. And I guess I just started to sort of... panic. And even though our company's let us have a bit more freedom after the contract renewal, it's not like I can even jump directly into the life I want. We've been busy and I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues last year that I didn't really have the time to work on my personal goals, let alone even start dating. It's a wonder how you and Dino even found each other."

You shrugged. "It wasn't really planned. It all just... sort of happened. I came to Korea as a college exchange student for a semester. I made a few videos and demo tracks and someone from Pledis picked it up. I really was just supposed to meet the vocal team at that time, and I was really excited to meet them. I had been a Carat for a while, back then. And I guess they just enjoyed the time we spent together and they let me meet the rest of you guys, and that's how I first met Dino in person."

"Wait, when we met you, we weren't allowed to date yet," he reminded.

You smiled as you remembered the story. "We weren't officially dating then. We agreed that with our schedules and the different countries, we were better off as friends. Then he showed up a year later to my graduation day, at that time you guys had already renewed your contract. He said he couldn't bring himself to see other people because he still saw me in them. So he flew all the way to my school and said that he'd be willing to try long distance since we were both focusing on our careers, he really just wanted to be able to call me his. And I said yes because we really worked well as friends, even when I wasn't in Korea anymore. And then I got the job offer from Hybe a few months after graduation, and now I'm happy that we're able to spend a lot more time together while still being able to focus on our careers."

"Sure, make me feel more single," he joked.

"It's not like that!" You protested. "My point is that Dino and I happened out of a series of unexpected circumstances. Any minor change in any of those, and we won't be where we are right now. But we still happened, and I'm grateful for that. What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to pressure yourself to actively build the life you want, at least not right away. Things will fall into place in their own time—or maybe I'm wrong, who knows? But it is possible, and maybe blessings would come into your life when you least expect it."

"I just wish I could've still done something, you know?" He said. "I just feel like I've wasted time, and now I'm looking back at my younger self, and I wish I could be that young again, do some things differently."

"Well, I can't turn back time, oppa," you replied. "But I can give you the same advice Seungkwan gave Chan. Even though you're the oldest Seventeen member, you're the maknae of your family. It's okay to take advantage of that sometimes. In that perspective, you're still young. you're not 30 yet. And even if you turn 30 soon, you'll still have a lot of your life ahead of you. I know it's scary sometimes. There are things I definitely wished I did when I was younger, and there are things that I feel like I want to do but it's too late for me to start on it. But I learned that I can't change the past, and I don't really want to spend every waking moment worrying about the future. I'm slowly learning to let go of things I can't change so that I can ground myself and be able to enjoy the present. A college professor once told me that age is a gift. I may think that getting older means I'm running out of time to start something new, but I'm starting to let myself learn that getting older just means I'm gaining more experience and opportunities to learn about myself and continue to build on what I have. I don't want to force my advice on you, oppa, and I can't guarantee you that things will come into place eventually, but I do hope that you let yourself breathe and have peace of mind. You've come a long way, and I know you still have so much more to achieve."

Seungcheol smiled wider, with true sincerity this time. "Now I'm the one who doesn't know how to respond, except maybe with a thank you. Really, y/n, I'm happy that you're our friend. And I'll try to lighten up on myself. Maybe I've been focusing too much on external things I feel like I should be in control of instead of focusing on myself and my well-being. That really puts things into perspective. And while I still hope to have the life I want someday, I really do hope that I'll get to have some peace of mind and enjoy the life I already have. Thank you."

You smiled at him. "Anytime, oppa."

Later, you snuck into your and Dino's room, hoping not to wake him. He lay on his side of the mattress, one arm on his face and one arm sprawled out on your side, inviting you in. You carefully lifted the sheets and lay your head gently on his arm. Once you were settled, he shifted so that his chest was pressed against your back, his other arm draped over your waist.

"I heard what you said to Coups hyung," he whispered against your hair. "Thank you for taking care of us y/n. Sometimes we lose sense of ourselves and forget how young we still really are."

"You all grew up too fast," you whispered back, thinking of how young they were when they debuted. You took his hand around your waist and raised it to your lips, pressing soft kisses on his knuckles. In return, Dino pressed soft kisses on the back of neck.

"Coups hyung was right," he said. "We're all lucky to have you, not just me. But I'm the luckiest out of all of them, because I get to have you, and build my life together with you."

You giggled softly. "How much of our conversation did you hear?"

"All of it," you can practically hear him smirking. "Our room is just beside the picnic area."

You turned to face him, meeting his eyes in the moonlit room. "I meant it all, you know."

He softly pressed his lips to yours, his free hand cupping your face with his thumb caressing your cheek. The arm under your head curved to wrap around your shoulders. He pulled away and looked into your eyes, smiling that small smile of his, revealing the tiny dimples in the corners of his mouth.

"I love you, y/n," he whispered, his warm breath fanning against your lips. His fingers played with your hair. "Always and forever."

"I love you too, Chan-ah. Always and forever."

Tagging: @ontowanderlust @bitchlessdino

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen drabbles #seventeen lee chan #seventeen dino #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #dino x reader #lee chan x reader #dino imagines #lee chan imagines #dino fluff #lee chan fluff #dino drabbles #lee chan drabbles #junmoonhui fics #lee chan #dino #seungcheol x reader #scoups x reader #seungcheol fluff #scoups fluff

[thatboreddrake]

Cursed Existence

Don't mind me, just a little thing I wrote for the backstory of a character who won't see the light of day until *checks watch* next Fall.

Story beneath the cut

Elias sighed, wiping the counter for the eightieth time tonight. A group of off-duty guardsmen let out a mighty hurrah as they clanked their mugs of ale together and drank to another day of successful defense. As the excess froth spilled to the ground, he made a mental note to have Misha take extra care mopping that area once everyone left for the night. He wasn’t ungrateful, by any means; he hadn’t seen the tavern this busy in months. Part of that, he supposed, was thanks to the wandering minstrel who serenaded his patrons with song and lute. Erik used to come through every few weeks, but none of the townsfolk had seen him since the Rising. Elias took his return as a good omen: a sign that somebody had finally taken care of the local undead issue. And none too soon, either. He wasn’t sure the state of the rest of the town, but if it was anything like the dwindling stock in his storerooms then the town couldn’t have held for much longer.

As he refilled the tankard of Jacob, the miller, Elias kept one eye on the figure nursing a mug of ale in the back corner of the tavern. Kelsien had kept himself out of trouble during the Rising, for which Elias was grateful. For a while, he thought the youth might finally make something other than a dungeon rat of himself. Now though, Elias’s eyes were drawn towards Kelsien’s left hand as it played with the hilt of a dagger strapped around his waist. He couldn’t blame the man for carrying a weapon. Who wouldn’t in times like this? But to remain so fixated on it, with such a somber look while the rest of the tavern was full of joy…

The creak of the front door banished these thoughts, as a strange, hooded man stepped through the door. His clothing was torn and weather-beaten, and he carried what looked like a longsword strapped across his back. Elias casually reached under the counter for a cleaver as the stranger stumbled towards the counter. His hands and arms were covered in bandages, and he carried himself like a man wearied from the road. If he had been taken by the undead, Elias would rather put him out of his misery rather than wait for him to turn on the rest of the town. The man pulled back his hood as he approached the counter, and Elias breathed a sigh of relief. His face bore none of the ghastly pallor indicative of one about to turn. In fact, his face was rather unremarkable, save for a patch of cloth bound around his left eye. His hair was ragged, and his scraggly mess of a face told of a man who had not seen civilization in weeks.

The man reached into his purse and pulled out a single silver piece and placed it on the counter. “Mug of ale?”

Elias’s smile returned to his face. “Why of course, stranger!”

He filled the mug until the froth nearly overflowed and passed it to his newest customer. He clasped the mug in both hands and tilted his head back, draining the mug dry in one prolonged gulp. He wiped his mouth on the inside of his hood and motioned for a refill, which Elias gladly provided. He muttered his thanks and went back to his drink, slower this time.

“If ye don’ mind my askin’, what brings ye to Dullen, stranger?”

He set the mug down. “No-Nothing in particular. Just passing through.”

If the man seemed unsettled by the inquiry, Elias paid it no mind. Everyone was a bit paranoid these days, and for good reason. Even so, the stranger hadn’t exactly answered his question. “Ya know, it’s a tad strange to see a new face ‘round here. We don’ get many visitors, not anymore.”

The stranger glanced over his shoulder at Erik, who had paused for an intermission, then narrowed his eyes at the barkeep. “You must be fortunate, then, to have a minstrel living in-house.”

Elias swallowed nervously. “Well, ye see, Erik’s different, seein’ as he passes through here rather often. On t’other hand, yers ain’t a face I’m familiar with.”

The stranger finished off his drink. “I see. Well, I appreciate your honesty, if not your hospitality. But never mind. You won’t need to worry about me, seeing as I don’t plan on spending the night. I just stopped by for some refreshment is all.”

Elias frowned. After such a long dry spell, he couldn’t well afford to lose a paying customer. “Now, I by no means meant to offend ye, mister! It’s my business to know who’s in town and who they are. Things bein’ the way they are, would ye really begrudge me a few simple questions?”

The stranger chuckled a bit. “No, I suppose not. Well, I’m Alvar, and I make it my business to try and help clean up the mess things have gotten themselves into, such as it were.”

An adventurer, then. That answer was as satisfactory as any, Elias supposed. “Wonderful! And will you be staying with us tonight, mister Alvar?”

Kelsien’s eyes darted around the room. The guards were rapidly on their way to a drunken stupor, but that didn’t change his prospects. Much. His eyes rested on Alfred, the lieutenant, before scanning to the rest of the room. Alfred had roughed him up more than necessary on his last arrest all those months ago, so he would make as good a target as any. Of course, Alfred had also just helped fend off a wandering horde of undead, which was the occasion of tonight’s celebration. The rest of the local patrons were farmers and tradesmen, celebrating the first night of peace in who knew how long. He wouldn’t cut any of their purses; they had already lost enough. As he finished off his mug, Kelsien’s thoughts drifted towards the minstrel on the stage. Surely a man who could afford to do nothing but travel and play ditties could stand to lose a few coins.

He shook the thought away. If the bard lost his silver here, he’d be liable to pass the town by on his next circuit. Though he brought nothing of substance, Kelsien had to admit that Erik’s return had brought the townspeople much joy. No, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that this too would break his promise. Well, if there was no way for him to remain guiltless, in his own eyes anyway, then Alfred would have to do. The fool likely wouldn’t even notice the missing coins, or if he did, he’d assume that he’d had a bit more to drink than he thought. Kelsien’s left hand mirrored his thoughts, playing idly with the pommel of his dagger. He’d killed a ghoul with that dagger, a feat which he was quite proud of. Yes, that was an equal enough trade. He deserved a few coins for helping protect the town. But then, he could’ve always taken up arms when they called for volunteers.

A creak of the front door saved him from his conundrum. In walked a hooded stranger, one who, Kelsien was certain, had absolutely no connection with the town. The man’s clothes were in tatters, but he could tell that the sword sheathed on his back was of extremely fine make. But what drew Kelsien’s attention the most was a small piece of gold, which hung from a leather strap around the stranger’s neck. One coin like that in a town like this, and he would be set for a few months at least. And most importantly, it wasn’t coming from anyone connected with providing for, serving, or protecting the town, so he had no moral quandary to deal with. It was an eat or be eaten world, and surely a stranger who could afford to wear such a coin as a piece of jewelry could afford to part with it.

The main issue, of course, would be how to use it once he got hold of it. Gold coins were exceedingly rare in these parts, so any attempt to spend it would likely draw suspicion. Not like there were money-changers in Dullen. Kelsien supposed he would have to get it exchanged with Elias. The old barkeep would give him an earful, surely, but he likely wouldn’t turn him in to the guards. The old man was always going on about how Kelsien needed to give up the life of a cutpurse, after all. Well, here was his chance. Once he got that gold piece, he could make a clean break and start a new life for himself. Maybe he could get an apprenticeship with Karl, the fletcher. He had always been good with his hands.

Kelsien’s eyes perked up as the stranger handed Elias four silver pieces and trudged towards the staircase. He would need to move quickly if he wanted to sneak upstairs before the tavern cleared out, but he also needed to wait until he was sure the stranger was asleep. Of course, between the weariness of his footsteps and the way he drained his ale, Kelsien had no doubt that the stranger would practically collapse into his bed. This last job would be a cinch. He would sneak in, grab the necklace, then hunker down in the cave just outside town until the stranger left. Then he could finally start his life as a truly free man.

Alvar waved goodnight to the barkeep and made for the stairs. He didn’t want to spend the night in town. His mind screamed for him to turn around: to sleep in the woods, no matter the danger. But the barkeep had been so friendly, and the tavern was so lively and full of happiness. Besides, his back was screaming at him to get a decent night of sleep, and he wasn’t sure whether he could stand to spend the night on the ground when there was a tavern so nearby. Surely it couldn’t hurt to spend one night around other people.

As he clomped up the stairs, his ale sat heavily in his stomach. If nothing else, he hoped that would be enough to keep him asleep until morning. He reached the room which the barkeep had indicated and pulled out his rented key. The lock wasn’t sturdy enough to keep out a determined intruder, but it would have to do for one night. He set his backpack down beside the bed and retrieved one of its contents with practiced precision. He grasped the talisman of Bahamut in one hand and the coin around his neck in the other and said a prayer to the father of good dragons. He prayed for a quiet night, and a restful one. He prayed that Bahamut would shield the town of Dullen with his wings, that no ill might befall them, at least for the duration of his stay. He then laid in the straw bed, savoring the meager comfort it provided, and closed his eyes. Then, as every night previous, the nightmares began.

“Come on, Alvar, don’t be so glum!”

The elf seemed to know him, though he did not recognize her.

“What’s the point of an adventure if you can’t enjoy yourself?”

“Might I remind you that this is no jaunty outing?” A dwarf in chainmail shot the elf a dirty look, his red beard reaching nearly to the ground. “We are embarked on a quest of no small import!”

The elf skipped over and patted the dwarf on the head, causing no small amount of consternation in her diminutive companion. “Come on, liven up! You mortals have to enjoy the time while you’ve got it!”

“While I don’t disagree, could you quiet down? Your chatter could wake the dead, even if they weren’t already wandering about!” This latest scolding came from a halfling bearing a lyre and a shortsword, though the shortsword looked normal sized in comparison to his proportions.

The four were standing on a pathway facing out from the entrance to a village. A dark forest stretched before them. Alvar could not remember what, if any, the purpose of their journey was.

The scene shifted as suddenly as it had formed, and Alvar found himself crouched behind a tree, watching a group of four ghouls stumble past. They didn’t seem to have noticed him. As he reached for his sword, a glimmer on the ground caught his eye. What great fortune! A gold coin, lying about in the middle of the forest! Truly, he thought, this must be a good omen of things to come. He picked up the coin and began retracing his steps.

The forest was on fire. A yew bow lay broken in-half on the ground. Nearby, a lyre had been smashed to pieces, and its owner run through with his own shortsword. Tufts of red hair lay on the ground, torn from an immaculately kept beard. Metal, it appeared, provided little protection when heated by fire to the point that it fused with its wearer. The smell of burning flesh permeated the air. In the midst of the carnage stood Alvar, his hands, face, and chest spattered with blood. One thought echoed through his mind: THIEVES!

Fire again. The smell of woodsmoke filled the air. But this came not from the tavern fireplace. The walls and tables were engulfed in a blazing inferno. A broken lute lay across the head which it had split. The guards lay around their table, weapons half-drawn, in a pool of their own blood; their armor proved useless as their throats were torn out by inhuman teeth. Elias lay slumped behind the bar, bled dry from claw marks across his back as he cradled Misha’s limp body. Upstairs, Kelsien lay dead on the floor. His back had been broken when he was slammed into the wall, and the shattered blade of his dagger lay at his feet. Once more, Alvar stood drenched in blood. This was no dream. As he woke from his stupor, he understood what had happened and fell to his knees in despair. Tears streamed down the wanderer’s face, the patch covering his eye had been torn from its place. Amidst the wreckage, another stranger entered the burning tavern. Alvar gulped back his lament as he felt the tip of a sword against his throat. Even among the burning heat of the inferno, the metal burned against his skin. He looked up at the newcomer, tears in his eyes.

“Please, end me, if you are able.”

The stranger cocked his head to the side. “You’re lucid?”

Before he could give a response, the stranger sheathed his sword and offered Alvar a hand. “On your feet. We have to get you out before the town forms a mob, or worse: comes to the logical conclusion.”

As soon as Alvar stood, the stranger made for the door. “Follow me, quickly!”

Alvar stood as still as a statue, confusion mixed with grief painted across his face. “Why?”

The stranger turned, a familiar kind of sadness in his eyes. “I could leave you for the townspeople, but you’re liable to kill more before they can bring you down. Besides that, you have caused much sorrow, though through no fault of your own. I can help you pay some of that back, small solace though it may be. Come.” The stranger strode through the door without waiting for a response. Alvar looked at the wreckage surrounding him. The stranger spoke the truth. Of that much he was certain. He followed the stranger out the door, leaving the crackling tavern behind him. As he ran, the gold coin weighed like a millstone around his neck.

#dnd #original character #writing

[thiswasinevitableid]

Kepler Kreeps (Indruck)

The winner of the "sweet more than scary" prompt poll was: You and I are both haunted house actors and tonight is a slow night

Duck’s tent is covered in blood. 

Fake blood, but still. If he ever needed an excuse to buy one he hasn’t had since 1998, this is his chance. 

His room is one of the darkest, with only a tipped over lantern in the corner and glo-strips to help people safely find their way through. Squinting at his watch, he sees there’s still two hours to go before they close.

“Shoulda brought a card game or something.” He whispers.

No response from the darkness across from him. 

“‘Drid? Hey, mothman, don’t conk out on me now!”

There’s a sharp trill and then two, red eyes glow in the corner, “Oh dear, I was trying so hard not to fall asleep. If it’s any consolation, we will not be seeing another group for at least fifteen minutes. Not to mention the screams from Minerva’s scene would have woken me up.”

“True.” They’ve been using the alarm from his friend’s alien abduction sequence as their cue to get in position. After all, they want Kepler’s one and only haunted house to be worth the ticket.

Duck had worked with Kepler Kreeps a few times, usually when they were short volunteers and needed an extra zombie or ghost. The profits always went to the youth center, and Duck liked the chance to goof off a bit. So when he got back from Brazil in need of ways to get back into the swing of things in Kepler, volunteering for this year’s haunted house was a no-brainer. 

He’d been surprised to find Indrid seated in the folding chairs along with him on the first night of planning; last he’d heard the Sylph had gone home, leaving Leo to take up the Winnebago in his place. 

“I tried it for a while. But I was not speaking hyperbolically when I told you I was fond of earth. I missed it terribly and Sylvain…she has another, younger seer. So when the gate re-opened I decided to move back.”

This was how Duck also learned Indrid had been living in the apartment beneath him for three months. He’d taken Leo’s spot on the lease. Given that Duck had never seen him coming or going, he’s mostly just glad the mothman is getting out of the house. 

The group settled on “Haunted Monongahela” for the theme, with each room being a different scene of horror or carnage unfolding in the national forest. As people were chatting amongst themselves about what rooms they could do, Indrid had flapped his hands, grabbed Duck’s arm, and said “I have the perfect idea.”

So now here they are, in the second weekend of the house’s run, waiting for some kids to scare. The first weekend is always busy as the haunted house die-hards and people ready for the spooky season to start flock to the gates. His guess is it won’t get really crowded again until a week or two before Halloween. 

Screams from the front of the house. Now that Sylphs are an open secret, a few are more comfortable being seen in their monstrous forms. In this case, it’s Barclay’s second cousin, Franklin, who after a bout of being feral in Texarkana moved up to Kepler to work as a bartender. Franklin starts the house off in style by chasing guests up a corridor, teeth and claws bared. 

Soon enough, there are horrified shouts from the room closest to them, courtesy of Minerva slicing open the chest of a dummy and sending fake blood everywhere. Duck slips back into the tent and readies himself.

Once the cluster of teenagers is over the threshold, he shakes the frame and scratches at the canvas, screaming like he’s being torn apart. This scares the group away from his side of the room and keeps them from noticing the massive, feathery shape rising up behind them.

All Indrid has to do is open his wings and shriek to send them running to the next room. 

When no more groups come through, Indrid perches on the block he’s using to get further above everyone’s heads and drums on it with his claws as they wait for more victims. 

“You doin’ anything fun for Halloween?” Duck crawls out and sits up in front of the tent entrance, stretching out his back. 

“Most likely joining Barclay and the others at the Lodge for a double-feature. Ooh, unless-”

“Unless?”

“Unless we get many trick or treaters at the complex?” Duck can just make out the lines of his antenna twitching. 

“Decent number, since we got plenty of kids in the apartments and in the neighborhood. Crap, that reminds me, I gotta get the place decorated so they know to come up the stairs and knock.”

“Do you prefer classic decorations or more of a theme?” Indrid cocks his head.

“Usually just do lights and maybe a skeleton or two. I do got this one idea I think would be fun, but it’d take up more space, maybe even get in your way.”

“Duck, you saw where I was living, do I strike you as needing everything neat and tidy?”

“Guess not. It’s kind of a cheesy idea though…”

“I insist you tell me. Please?” The disappearance and reappearance of glowing eyes suggests Indrid is trying to bat his eyelashes at him.

“Okay, okay. I was thinking I could decorate like it’s a haunted tropical island. Put aloha shirts on the skeletons, see if anyone makes a skeletal parrot-”

“Put out some Jimmy Boo-fet records perhaps?”

Duck laughs, “Exactly!”

“That sounds delightful? Would you like some help? We could even decorate both apartments in the same vein for a stronger impact. “

“Hell yeah. You wanna stop by my place after work on Monday? I was gonna run out and get stuff then.”

A flash of teeth in the darkness, “It’s a date.”

—------------------------------------------------------

Duck tosses a few more leis into the shopping cart. He’s debating whether to get a spinning projector that casts ghosts over the walls when Indrid appears, hands behind his back. 

“I have the perfect costume for you.”

Duck leans on the cart, “I swear, if those are bear ears-”

Indrid gasps, mock affronted, “How could you suggest I would sink so low as a Smokey the Bear joke?”

“Smarter than the a-ver-age bear.” Duck swipes the ears from Indrids hand and places them atop silver hair, “besides, you wear ‘em better.”

His friend smiles as he removes the headband, “That’s high praise. Unrelatedly, if we go by the thrift store we will find some shirts that are perfect for the skeletons.”

Indrid’s foresight is spot on, and they also score a “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere” hat and some unopened skull lights. He’s having such a nice time that he doesn’t think twice about asking if Indrid would like to grab dinner, though he slightly regrets his offer of a ride when his friend discovers the Jimmy Buffet C.Ds in his car.

“You truly contain multitudes, Duck Newton.”

“I had a case of the Mondays!”

—------------------------------------------------------------

“This really was a way better idea than me just playing dead.” Duck says as he and Indrid get into their haunted house positions. The doors open in fifteen minutes, and the presence of an actual line suggests a busy night.

Duck adds, “But I’ll have you know I was always real good at playing dead. Played so many dead guys in emergency trainings.”

Indrid makes an amused face.

“I’m serious. Watch.” Duck lays down on his back, closes his eyes, and goes limp. 

After a moment, Indrid says, “That is rather convincing.”

Duck says nothing. 

“That is also very convincing.”

The lights go out, signaling that it’s time to get in final positions. 

“Oh dear” Indrid sighs, “visitors are soon to be upon us and my fellow scare actor is deceased. Whatever shall I do.”

Duck manages not to laugh as Indrid crosses the floor. 

A tongue mlems onto his cheek and he slaps a hand across his mouth, giggling as he opens his eyes. Indrid is bent over him, grinning.

“Dang, you figured out my trick.”

“Indeed I did.” Indrid flicks him on the nose once with his tongue, then sneaks soundlessly back into his spot.

 Duck’s just glad it’s dark; he’s not ready for the mothman to see him blushing. 

—---------------------------------------------------------

“I expected the Friday before Halloween to be much busier.” Indrid sits on the floor across from Duck as the haunted house stays quiet around them (except for the atmospheric music from Kirby’s room).

“They got that Zombie fun-run over in Huntington. Think a bunch of folks from town went there since it’s a one-night thing.”

Indrid shudders, “I cannot say I’d enjoy such an event. Zombies are…they feel too close to what happened with the Quell at times.”

“I get that.” Duck scoots forward an inch, “I always get freaked out by vampire movies. Something about the biting, all the teeth going into necks, ech” he shivers, “no thanks.”

“Perhaps we should be grateful Reconciliation never sent a vampiric abomination through. Not that I can remember anyway.”

Duck’s hand bumps Indrid’s in the darkness, “Ain’t sure I ever been more scared than when I saw them tryin’ to make a mimic that looked like Jane. Figured it out quick and then I was just pissed but…but there was a second before all that when I thought they’d taken her too. That even though she was far away from this whole mess, I hadn’t been able to protect her, y’know?”

Indrid nods, “I am sorry you had to see such a thing.”

“‘Drid? Can I ask you something weird?”

Another nod and a chirp of assent. 

“What’s the most scared you’ve ever been?”

A rustle of wings, then the lilting voice replies, “When I was young. Before I learned how to manage my abilities. If you can see the future and you are not careful, you can look too far ahead, see the end of everything. When you are a little mothling, huddled in the dark after bedtime, there is nothing more terrifying than to let your mind wander where it need not and see the day when the planet goes dark.”

“Oh fuck, ‘Drid, I’m so sorry, I had no idea.” Duck takes his hand, feels cool chitin as the other three join it, clinging to him. 

“I learned quickly to be careful. But there will still times, times like when I was driving back to Kepler to warn you all your plan would not work, where I could not stop seeing the end.”

“What did you do?” His heart cracks at the thought of Indrid hurtling down some empty highway with no relief from the image of the sky ripping away. 

“I looked to better futures. To the ones where you succeeded. To the little moments that came after, even as the chances of them faded. I took comfort where I could” he lets out a weak laugh, “though I never foresaw such a comforting moment coming to me in a haunted house.”

“Me neither.” Duck thinks on the last weeks, on hushed conversations waiting for guests to come through. He’s about to say he’s glad the haunted house has let them spend more time together, but then he remembers the evenings decorating the apartments together, remembers Indrid appearing at the park to draw, remembers calling through the floor to ask if the mothman would like to come up and share the pizza he got for dinner. 

“Got another weird question for you.”

Indrid’s hands tense. There’s a chirp Duck’s never heard before, unsure and hopeful.

“I know we both got plans late Halloween night to go to the Lodge. But, uh, before then…maybe we could hand out candy together. Since we made the outside of the apartments look so damn good together, seems silly to make trick or treaters climb the stairs.”

“The answer is yes. To both.”

Duck smiles, “I ain’t asked the second thing yet, sugar.”

“The answer remains the same.”

Duck raises onto his knees and kisses Indrid once, gently, and has the unique pleasure of a seven foot tall cryptid turning to butter in his arms. 

Indridr nuzzles his forehead, “Is this the part where I am to say something clever about you being my treat?”

Duck snickers and kisses him again, “Nah. Just warn me if we need to stop kissing and scare folks instead.”

Indrid purrs and cuddles him into his lap, “Consider it done.”

#indrid cold/duck newton #indruck #taz amnesty #promptober #monster boyfriend

[myckicade]

*deep, heavy breathing*

TAAAAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

*screeching, squeeing, and panting*

OMFG, I didn't think we'd get that!! AT ALL!!!!!! Not a return, and certainly not him talking to Bishop, and EXTRA-CERTAINLY not them talking about making it PERMANENT?!?!?

Now, I just have to worry about LOSING THE BASTARD, AGAIN.

Sorry. I love Taza. Y'all know that.

*ahems* ANYWHO.

DO I HAVE TO BE RIGHT ABOUT SO MANY THINGS?! I fucking KNEW that it would be Bottles that would come up on the destruction of the Broken Saints. UGH. If his Amigo-... 😢🤧

Nope. Can't think about it. I just can't.

I'm also having trouble with the Hope fiasco. This has all, in a certain fashion, been for nothing for Letty, and that makes me very sad. This is just... Wow. That may have been the shittiest part of the whole episode.

Well, that, and, YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE CREEPER NEVER TOLD ANYBODY HE WAS OOPSIE-BANGING A COP?! WHAT DID THEY THINK HE WENT AWAY FOR?! FREE COVER-ALLS AND SOME MALE BONDING?!

*ahems, anew*

Jeez, Guero's not too bright a motherfucker, is he? He was rather endearing through his scenes, especially in the van with Bottles, but he's... Well. Let's just say that his youth was showing. 🤣.

I was Sofia would have just had out with it, by the way. Seriously. EZ's plenty dumb a motherfucker, too. Just, nowhere near as endearing as anyone else.

Also, GOOD ON MARCUS. Y'know, I often find myself yelling at characters, "Don't do it, dude! You're a young man!" Tonight, I instead found myself yelling, "Don't do it, Marcus!! You're NOT a young man!!" I hope he's out. I hope he's out, and safe, and away from all this shit for GOOD.

I also have a new pet unicorn flying in from the Virgin Islands at eleven. Stay tuned for further updates.

Ugh. UGH.

Oh, yeah. As much as I like Felipe, I'm glad Miguel got to say his peace. He's clearly covering for what he seems to know he missed out on, but I feel that cover is quite genuine. Sure, he's trying to hurt Felipe, but I think it comes from a place of his own hurt, and that's completely understandable.

I know a thing or two about family dysfunction, a'ight?

Speaking of. Poor Angel. CAN I GET A GROUP HUG FOR ANGEL??

As long as he doesn't end up with Letty. I give the fuck up on them ALL, it comes to that.

Until next week, y'all!

- MC

P.S. Hey!! EZ was finally honest, for once!!

And, because I almost forgot...

Fuck you, EZ. 🖕🖕

#Mayans #Mayans MC #Mayans M.C. #Mayans M.C. Spoilers #Mayans MC Spoilers #Mayans Spoilers

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Angel of God, My Guardian Dear Chapter 7: Matt

Rating: Explicit (18+, MINORS DNI)

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Story Summary: While speaking at a local school for visually impaired youth, Matt runs into his childhood best friend, with whom he lost touch almost 20 years prior.

Warnings/Tags: None.

Word Count: ~2,900

A/N: None.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Foggy asked as soon as Matt walked into the office on Tuesday.

"It went great," Matt replied. "Judge Garcia found in favor of Mr. Perry and awarded punitive damages for harassment and illegal eviction on top of granting the injunction."

Foggy huffed out a laugh. "That's great and all, but I actually meant how’d it go with Y/N on Sunday."

"Oh, that! Yeah, that actually went really well too. As expected, she and my mother were both thrilled to see each other."

"And Y/N's aunt?"

"That went surprisingly well too. She wants to meet me." 

Foggy snorted. "Better late than never, right?"

Matt chuckled. "I suppose so. She invited me to come down to Florida when Y/N goes there to visit next month."

"That's great, man. I hope everything goes well."

"Me too." Matt grinned. "I can’t wait for you to meet Y/N tonight. You and Karen are both going to love her, I just know it.”

“I’m sure we will.” 

"So how did the meeting with Mr. Daniels go yesterday?"

Foggy scoffed. "What the insurance company was offering would barely even cover his lost wages, much less his medical bills, so he wants to go ahead and pursue his suit against his former company.”

"Okay."

"I have to run by the Clerk's office so I can file the paperwork before they close, so I'm gonna leave a bit early and will just meet you and Y/N at Josie's."

Matt nodded. "Okay, that's fine."

He headed into his office and set his things down, then set to work on his tasks for the day.

Luckily the day went pretty quickly, and before Matt knew it there was a knock on his door.

"Hey, I'm heading out," Foggy said. "I'll see you in a bit."

Matt nodded. "Okay, see you."

He continued drafting his answer to a lawsuit being filed against another client -- this one a woman who had been involved in a car accident but wasn't actually at fault -- and had just sent it off when he heard Y/N's footsteps coming up the stairs.

He stood and stepped out of his office as she entered the lobby. "Hi, angel."

Y/N walked over to him and gave him a kiss. "Hi, sweetheart. Ready to go?"

Matt nodded. "Yeah, just a second."

He grabbed his suit jacket and cane and shut his office light off. "All set."

"So how was your day?" Y/N asked as they headed downstairs.

"Not bad," Matt replied, opening the outer door and letting Y/N out first before locking it behind them. "Managed to get a lot accomplished. How was yours?"

"It was good. I finally finished getting my summer reading rewards mailed out to all of the students that participated and got started on the article about White Cane Day for our monthly newsletter."

"That's great."

Y/N took his hand as they headed down the sidewalk. "So you said you and Foggy have been going to Josie's since college?"

Matt nodded. "Yeah. Josie's Tuesday 2-for-1 draft beer special got us through many finals weeks and most of our internship."

Y/N let out a light laugh. "My friends and I had a similar hangout in Florida while we were studying for our comprehensive exams, except we went to 'Wine-Down Wednesdays'."

She gave his hand a squeeze. "As great as my study group was though, you were always my favorite study buddy."

Matt smiled. "You were mine too."

He stopped as they reached Josie's, the familiar smell of cheap beer and stale peanuts in the air. "We're here."

"Hey, there you are!" Foggy said cheerfully as Matt guided Y/N towards their usual booth. "Karen texted and said she had a last-minute interview for the paper so she's running late, but is on her way."

Matt nodded. "That's fine."

He gave Y/N's hand a squeeze. "Foggy, I'd like you to meet Y/N. Y/N, this is Foggy."

"It's so nice to meet you," Y/N said. "Matt's told me so much about you."

"Likewise," Foggy said. "You were pretty much all he talked about during college."

"Aww, really?"

Matt shrugged. "We talked about our childhoods a lot, and you were an integral part of mine."

He gave Y/N a quick kiss. "I'm gonna go grab a drink. You want one?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Foggy?"

"Yeah, I'll take a whiskey."

Matt headed to the bar as Y/N and Foggy sat.

"So Matt said you're a librarian?" he heard Foggy ask.

"Yeah, I'm the children's librarian with the Heiskell Braille and Talking Book Library," Y/N replied. 

"That sounds like it must be fun."

"Yeah, it is. I love being able to work with the kids and foster a love of reading in them." Matt could hear the smile in Y/N's voice. "And it all started with Matt."

He turned back towards the bar as the bartender approached.

"What can I getcha?" the bartender asked. 

"Two whiskeys on the rocks and an amaretto sour," Matt replied, handing over his credit card. "And I'd like to start a tab."

"Okay, one second."

Matt waited until their drinks were poured then headed back over to their booth. "Here you go," he said, setting the drinks down and taking a seat next to Y/N.

"Thanks, sweetheart," Y/N said.

"So Y/N was telling me that you were her very first library patron," Foggy added. 

Matt chuckled. "I guess I was, wasn't I? We certainly spent a lot of our free time together reading in the library."

"I'm surprised Matt didn't eventually get sick of the sound of my voice," Y/N added jokingly.

Matt shook his head and smiled over at her. "Never, angel."

He turned as Karen walked up. "Hey, Kare."

"Hey, Matt," Karen replied, setting her purse down and sliding into the booth next to Foggy. "Sorry I'm late." 

Matt shook his head. "It's fine. I'd like you to meet Y/N, my girlfriend."

"Hi," Y/N said. "It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," Karen replied. "So, what'd I miss?"

"Not much," Foggy said. "We haven't gotten to the embarrassing childhood stories yet."

Y/N laughed. "There's not really many of those, but has Matt ever told you about the time we set a mouse loose in Sister Bernadette's office?"

Foggy and Karen both laughed. "No, he hasn't," Foggy said.

"Well, we had just gotten back from recreation time…"

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

"...You stole a bottle of wine? " Foggy gasped out later as Y/N recounted the time she and Matt had snuck into the church's storeroom.

"They had just gotten a shipment in from the diocese, so I figured they wouldn't miss one bottle," Y/N said with a laugh. "Besides, it was Matt's 17th birthday and we were stuck indoors because of a snowstorm -- how else were we going to celebrate?"

"How did you manage to not get caught?" Karen asked in wonder.

"I distracted Father Reynolds with an impromptu confession so Y/N could sneak out," Matt replied. "I told him that I wanted to start my 17th year on Earth with a clean spiritual slate, so to speak, so it was very urgent, couldn't wait until later."

He grinned. "Totally worth the penance."

Y/N laughed. "We waited until everyone had gone to bed that night then drank it together in Matt's room while we ate the cake Sister Maggie had let me bake for him. Wasn't quite the celebration I had originally planned for my bestie's birthday, but I don't think it turned out too bad, do you, Matty?"

Matt shook his head. "It was great."

Y/N's phone began to ring. "It's my aunt," she said. "Sorry, I'll be right back."

Matt nodded. "Okay."

Y/N slid out of the booth as she answered. "Hello? Hey, Aunt Ruth, what's up? No, I'm out with Matt and a couple of his friends, but it's okay…"

Matt turned to Foggy and Karen as Y/N headed outside to talk to her aunt. "Well? What do you think?"

"I like her," Foggy said. 

"Me too," Karen agreed. 

Matt smiled in relief. "Good."

"She seems really nice." Karen took a sip of her drink. "And I think it's really sweet that she became a librarian because of you."

Matt chuckled. "Honestly she probably would've gone into library science anyway, but yeah, it's nice to know that she never forgot about me just like I never forgot about her."

Karen reached out and patted Matt's hand. "I'm really happy for you, Matt."

"Thank you."

"Sorry about that," Y/N said as she walked back up. 

"It's fine," Matt replied. "Everything okay with your aunt?"

"Oh, yeah, she's good. She was just calling to ask me the name of an author I had told her about the other day so she could suggest them at her book club meeting tomorrow."

"Ah, okay."

Karen finished her drink and stood. "I still have some research to do for my article before I turn it in tomorrow so I need to run, but it was so nice to meet you, Y/N."

"Yeah, you too," Y/N replied. "And my offer to help with future research still stands. We have some databases that you might not otherwise have access to."

"Yeah, I'll definitely take you up on that soon."

Foggy finished his drink as well. "Hey Kare, if you wait up just a second I'll walk you home."

"Okay, thanks."

"You ready to head out too?" Matt asked Y/N.

"Sure," Y/N replied. "I'm ready if you are."

Matt stood and took Y/N's hand, stopping by the bar to close out his tab before they all headed outside. 

"It was really nice meeting you both," Y/N said once they reached the sidewalk.

"Same here," Foggy replied, "especially after hearing about you for so long."

Y/N chuckled. "Next time you'll have to tell me more about Matt's wild college years." 

Foggy huffed out a laugh. "Absolutely, if you tell me more about the pranks you and he used to pull on the nuns at St. Agnes."

"Of course. There were some fun ones."

Foggy clapped Matt on the shoulder. "'Night, you two."

Matt nodded. "'Night, Foggy. 'Night, Karen."

"Good night," Karen replied, giving him a brief hug.

"So, are you ready to call it a night?" Matt asked as Karen and Foggy headed down the street together. 

"Actually… I was thinking we could do dinner since it's still early?" Y/N replied.

Matt nodded with a smile. "What do you have in mind?"

"My place? I can make us something to eat… And maybe you could stay the night if you want?"

Matt wrapped his arms around Y/N's waist and gave her a kiss. "That sounds perfect. Maybe we can stop by my apartment on the way to yours so I can grab some clothes and stuff for tomorrow though?"

"Yeah, absolutely." Y/N slipped her hand into Matt's as they headed towards his apartment. "By the way, I really liked Karen and Foggy."

Matt smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. "They liked you too."

"Glad I got the seal of approval." Y/N paused. "Oh, that reminds me, I gave Aunt Ruth our flight information and she insisted on picking us up from the airport."

Matt chuckled. "Can't wait to cross-examine me, huh?"

Y/N let out a light laugh. "Actually I'm pretty sure it's more like she wants to make a good impression on my 'handsome, successful' boyfriend."

Matt shook his head with a soft smile. "Well in that case, I guess I can't argue."

They made it to Matt's building and headed up to his apartment.

"Would you mind pulling a suit out for me to wear tomorrow?" he asked as they headed towards his bedroom.

"No problem," Y/N replied. "Does it matter which one?"

Matt shook his head. "No, whichever one you choose is fine. Garment bag is at the back of the closet."

He grabbed his gym bag and placed a pair of socks and boxers in it, then headed into his bathroom for his toiletry bag, electric shaver and comb before walking back into his bedroom.

"All set?" Y/N asked as she zipped up his garment bag.

"Yep," Matt replied. "Ready to go."

"Want me to get us an Uber?"

"Sure."

Y/N tapped at her phone. "Okay… there's one just a couple of minutes away."

Matt nodded. "Okay."

They headed back downstairs, exiting Matt's building just as their Uber arrived, and a short ride later, they were pulling up to Y/N's apartment building. 

"How does baked chicken sound for dinner?" Y/N asked as they entered her apartment. 

Matt nodded. "That's fine."

"Okay, make yourself comfortable and I'll get it started."

Matt dropped his bags off in Y/N's bedroom then headed back to her kitchen, making his way to her sink to wash his hands. "How can I help?"

Y/N opened a cabinet and pulled out a couple of wine glasses and an electric corkscrew. "Can you grab a bottle of wine out of the door of the fridge behind you and to the left and uncork it for me, let it breathe for a bit?"

Matt nodded. "Sure thing."

He grabbed a bottle of wine and opened it, the subtly oaky aroma of pinot noir filling his senses. "What else?"

"Umm, could you prep the salad ingredients?"

"Sure."

Y/N handed him a knife and set a tomato and cucumber on a cutting board in front of him. "Lettuce is already in the bowl."

Matt nodded and got to chopping, finishing just as Y/N placed the chicken into her oven to bake. 

He wiped his hands on a dishtowel. "Anything else?"

Y/N took the cutting board and placed it in her sink. "Nope, that's it. You want to go sit while dinner is cooking?"

Matt shook his head and pulled his phone out of his pocket, finding the icon for the classical playlist he sometimes listened to when alone at the office.

He set his phone on the counter and wrapped his hands around Y/N's waist as a soft melody began. "Or you can dance with me instead?"

Y/N hummed and turned in his arms. "You know, that does sound like a much better idea."

Matt took Y/N's hand in his and pulled her close, pressing their joined hands to his chest as they began to sway. "You remember the last time we danced together?"

Y/N gave a hum of affirmation. "Sure do. The church's annual St. Valentine's dance, 2002." 

Matt nodded. "I had told you that I wanted to ask this girl that I really liked to go with me but that I was nervous because I had never danced with anyone before and was afraid I'd mess up, so you offered to practice with me so I'd feel more comfortable dancing with her."

Y/N huffed out a laugh. "My motive in offering to practice with you wasn't completely selfless. I mean yeah, I wanted you to be happy and confident but also if you were interested in someone who clearly wasn't me then that was probably the closest I'd ever get to getting to dance with you, so I wasn't going to miss my chance."

"That's funny since I actually had been talking about you." Matt shook his head with a small smile. "I had come up with this grand plan in order to ask you to go with me, but when the time came to actually do it I chickened out and told you that I had asked the girl I liked to go with me but she had said no." 

He chuckled. "If I remember correctly you said she was 'obviously a dumbass' and offered to go with me instead so she could 'see what she was missing'." 

Y/N huffed out a laugh. "I was torn between wanting to kick some bitch's ass for breaking my best friend's heart and being relieved that I wouldn't have to see the boy I loved dancing with some other girl. I couldn't believe that she had turned you down, especially when I would've jumped at the chance to go with you."

"And I couldn't believe my luck. I screwed up my chance to ask you to go to the dance with me but wound up getting to go with you anyway."

Y/N gave Matt's hand that was joined with hers a squeeze. "I had a really great time that night, by the way."

Matt smiled softly. "Me too. The only thing that could've made it even better is if I had worked up the nerve to kiss you and tell you how I felt about you when I walked you back to your room after it was over."

Y/N hummed contently. "Well, you can kiss me now to make up for it if you want..."

Matt grinned at the teasing tone in Y/N's voice. "Gladly, angel."

He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers.

"Mmm," he murmured as they broke apart. "Definitely worth the wait."

Y/N chuckled as the timer on her oven went off. "Continue this after dinner?"

"Oh, definitely." Matt gave Y/N one more kiss before letting her go. "We still have lots of missed opportunities to make up for, and I plan on making up for them all."

#lotmf writes #AoG Masterlist #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x female reader #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock smut #matt murdock x yn

[lady-ashfade]

Thank you so much for what you said about my friends and their comments ❤️

We went to swim in a waterfall yesterday and I was really brave and got in a swimsuit which is scary for one and got in the water which is double scary because I’ve only recently been learning to swim! The whole time I felt like I was holding everyone up and taking up too much space and I asked my friend to hold my hand but she would walk ahead and then kind of huff and come back to help me.

Today we went to some mountains and again there were steep steps and I just kept feeling like I needed to apologise to everyone.

My room is also separate from theirs because apparently I was snoring and it annoyed one of them. I had to many bugs and lizards that I was on edge the whole time because I really don’t like things like that.

I asked to sleep on their sofa tonight and they offered for me to get in the bed with them but followed up with “yeah the bed is massive and we barely take up any room and we don’t move around at all so it’ll be fine” but I instantly felt like I’d be taking up all the space and hogging all the covers and then they’d make comments again.

I’ve been crying myself to sleep because I feel so unhappy during the evenings even though I’m seeing such beautiful things during the day.

I’m so sorry for just bombarding you with this and feel free to ignore it but I just wanted to get it out.

Um, no my darling you are perfect. You deserve so much more then them, in fact I’d stick up for you if I was there and make them feel bad. Sorry I get protective over my followers. But I know how you feel, I actually am on my way home from a mile walk for a charity and I was the biggest girl there, or in the “youth” ones and I felt so self conscious. I mean there was a group of teen boys behind me. But I faced it, focusing on myself and keep myself happy. You need to complement yourself on small things.

You did one step? Good job. Went other step? That’s good. You made it just ten steps? YOU WALKED TEN STEPS! It’s about the little things first. And when you get home from the trip, tell them how they made you feel and if they don’t apologize or say something stupid, dump them. I know that it feels like you’ll lose all your friends, but darling they aren’t your friends.

Friends care, judge free, even if you do something stupid they will laugh WITH you and not at you. They don’t make you feel bad about yourself, they don’t give mean and rude comments. No matter your weight or height, skinny or chubby or thin or plus-size or skin tone, gender or what ever: YOU DONT DESERVE SHITTY FRIENDS!

Do you hear me? Ash tells you to put yourself above anything else, the person you see in the mirror deserves to have friends by her side. You don’t not change for others, you change for yourself. I’m so sorry you are dealing through this.

#anon #your perfect the way you are #you’re beautiful #you deserve so much #love you #I hope you the best #you need better friends

[outofdeepwaters]

Person-Environment Fit

I just had my second practice with a band I’d like to dive into head first. This time, I’m on bass, which (unless you count one somewhat unsuccessful weekend playing bass at a youth retreat in the year of our Lord: 2011) is a first for me. The bass parts are well written, and the longer I spend in these songs, the more I appreciate the complexity and variety of each of the parts. I spent some time, tonight, watching the two other guys (guitar and drums) do their thing, and noticing the complexity and skill behind it.

My first practice with them was good, and the guys were welcoming and warm, but I was definitely running a little high strung: anxious about my parts, and feeling socially awkward. I went in without having practiced, and while I warned the band of this and they were very laid back, it meant I spent the evening with my nose in my music sheets, quite detached from the vibe in the room.

TONIGHT, my friends, was a different story. I had more time this week to practice the songs, and dove into the more complicated ones first. My moderately-well-rehearsed state meant that I was able to focus more on grooving and enjoying the shared time. Also, because our rehearsal spot was busy/pretty fully booked, we ended up playing in one of the more (expensive and) beautiful rooms. Add up up a nice room, more familiarity with the songs, and the ability to settle into the social dynamic a bit better, and you get one hell of a good time. We even lingered after and chatted a while. I am excited to play every week with these guys. The musical chemistry that comes with having a little group that meets to play together week after week is its own magic; it’s something you can’t pull off in just a few rehearsals. This has been the main challenge with the larger Strange Tides gigs we’ve had: because only two of us were always in the band, we only had a few practices with everybody before each show, and so we went in still trying to keep track of everything. What I’m hoping for, here, is to know our parts and each other so well that we move through the songs without thinking, and can focus on musicality, stage presence, and joy. 

What can I say? It feels like a good fit.

[supercantaloupe]

lying face down on the floor

didn't get my internship. autism swag too strong for the kennedy center i guess i mean why else would i be rejected from three separate internship positions already. they couldn't handle me (<- trying to act cool about losing an opportunity in her dream job/field)

but it does mean i can go to spain this summer. which. i mean. spain is cool. excited to go back. and i love getting to travel and play. even if i do have to pay for the trip (on a scholarship, but still) myself instead of doing a job and getting paid for it.

although it is technically a mission trip with a korean church group's youth orchestra so i have no idea if i'll like. have anyone to hang out with or relate to. idk i guess i'll just bring a book to read while everyone's in bible study or whatever. not like i've had much luck in the past making friends with anyone whilst traveling even when they're my peers...except when i went to italy with my own youth orchestra in high school...i always get along better with other music people but like. idk. i don't see myself getting super buddy buddy with a bunch of kids and i have no idea who there'll be in terms of other adults to associate with either. idk. i'll enjoy the scenery and food at least

i need to look for a new job for the summer now tho. probably retail or food service. which. will probably be soul sucking. but. i need something to do and some way to earn cash. and it's just until the end of august...at least i have the fellowship lined up for next fall thank fucking gd. if i didn't. idk. i'd just melt into a puddle of goo or something

oh and i have to cancel my gig with another local orchestra too. i was supposed to play EH on scheherezade for a concert in june with them but it's during the spain trip so. i feel bad about cancelling on them but at least it's with a month and a half of warning. plus i offered to lend/rent them my instrument cause i don't need it for my trip. that way at least they can have someone cover the part without me and maybe i can make a little bit of money from it...not much tho i don't have the heart to charge a lot

well i went over to see the apartment again and got a few more things sorted out there. i'll be switching to the smallest room rather than the biggest now which is fine cause i don't need a big bedroom and the rent is cheaper and very reasonable for this city. i get extra storage and desk space in the basement too since i have the smallest bedroom. and i'm buying a bunch of furniture from an outgoing tenant including bed desk chair and dresser for relatively cheap too so i don't need to get or move any big pieces like that myself, convenient. i'll probably move in first week of may and boy am i looking forward to it. i want undergrad to be over already i am so tired of being here

oh also dan texted today to tell me he's sick! fucking wonderful! he said he got someone from the conservatory to cover which i think he means for tonight's rehearsal? honestly i don't even care at this point if he's out for the concert tomorrow i or his backup contact will cover the first parts for him but i will go literally fucking insane if he's still out of it by sunday. he says it's just something he ate and he should be fine by tomorrow but You Can Imagine Why I'm Not The Most Confident. i mean fucking hell i haven't even met the second player he got for my trio yet...we're supposed to rehearse tomorrow afternoon for my recital sunday morning. and brother i feel like an e string about to snap

#i wanna talk about me #also i still have all my finals to work on. #i think. i might. just. take a nap though. #like yeah i Really Need To Get Work Done but. i am so fucking tired man #the movies were right that everything really can everywhere all at once #i know that's not what the movie is about but. whatever. i'm going the fuck through it right now just give me this

[authorofemotion]

HI CLAIRE i wanna hear about your day <3

ATLAS HI!!!

I woke up kinda late but then I had a brief call where I told the people leading my retreat next week what they can pray for me over. then I went to confession and saw my youth group leader there!! and we got coffee and I went to my church’s library and took home five theology books that I have a month to read✨

Also I worked 7:00-11:30 tonight and a lady cussed under her breath at my coworker instead of letting her fix the thing she was angry about lmao. My sister just got back from a three week internship too!!!

tell me about your day!!

#claire gets an ask #atlas!

[moonlightsylph]

Ooh! Trick or Treat please :D

Why hello! I am not sure what you are dressed as, but you certainly looking rather nice this night. I hope you haven't been getting into too much trouble, though I can't fault you from a little mischief tonight.

Here, take this full-size caramilk bar and take a seat. I have a story for you, if you don't mind listening for a spell.

You can barely see through the fog.

It was annoying, seeing that you were the one doing the filming in the group. With the way the weather has been behaving, you were tempted to just call it, but lo and behold here you were with the crew getting ready for the traditional yearly 'ghost hunt' in another abandoned structure.

This was wasn't all that different from the usual targets, just way bigger. Hard to get bigger than a old amusement park with a massive rollercoaster honestly.

According to the forums, this place was shutdown some time in the 50's due to some unsolved disappearances of staff and the odd teenager that snuck in after hours. Nothing could be proven, even the owner of the place was dragged into court only to be let go when there wasn't strong enough evidence of him being behind it. So the cases went colder than a polar bear's rump, leaving so many questions for people like you to feel the itch to answer.

So you and your friends booked the time off, packed up the van and headed out to see for yourselves if you can find a ghost of a concession stand clerk looking for the punch-out clock. It sounds silly on paper, but it was something your group of friends have done together since high school, one of the few things left that can draw you all together for a single goal at the years gone by.

A tradition.

Flipping on the camera, you weaving through your friends and put on your best documentary voice as you introduce your friends to the invisible audience of zero, immortalizing their laughter and funny faces before getting down to work. Your job was to circle the grounds, film as much as you can, so you all can go over the footage later to find weird shadows and blobby shapes. Easy and honestly, the most fun since you get to wedge your body into places that normally would get you kicked out of a park for. Living all those misspent youthful dreams of being a menace to society.

So you start with the grounds, circling the boarded up stands and commenting on places you think could be brute forced open on another trip tomorrow, before making your way to the large barn-light buildings where exhibits and showing would have taken place by the local farming scene. Another large building that would hold all the club tables, crafts on sale, raffles. Just thinking of how many people once stood in the yawning emptiness makes something clench in your chest. So many years gone, yet their laughter still lingers like a mournful ghost.

So you move away from the weird sad feeling and look at the abandoned rides, trying to chase that high from earlier to lift the mood.

Sweeping over the width of the ride grounds, you linger on the huge shape that dominates at the center of the rollercoaster, hidden by the thick fog enough to obscure what it might even be. You couldn't help making a dramatic commentary on the rides, extending your 'o's for spooky effect, before filming the Merry-go-round.

You quickly move on from there after being creeped out by the horses with the chipped paint and blood-red rust around their faces making it look like they ate someone. You skip over investigating the hall of mirrors when you see the very distressing faded clown face over the entrance, commenting that you were not looking to get eaten today by bargain-bin IT.

One by one you film the other rides and note their creepy deterioration before finally going to the biggest draw of the place.

The Roller-coaster.

Even this close, you can't see what the big shape in the center is, which only fuels you more into doing reckless things. You judge how high the tracks are, wondering if it was climbable, before deciding you didn't want to become a new headline for the town. So you settle for looking at one of the track cars to get some footage and find yourself seated in the from row to making a shot of how it must have looked being on the ride before launch.

You hear a creaking sound.

Was the track that rusted that it wouldn't hold your weight without protest?

You hear it again, this time with the sound of something snapping like static. Like a light switch sitting in the middle between on and off.

Suddenly you see the lights in the control room turn on. You squint at the dirty window, wondering if one of your friends is trying to pull a prank on you. You can't see a shape thought the dirt, only the fact the light was turned on.

You call out, telling them to cut it out before they make you leave this car to do it for them.

The headlights on the track car spark to life. Then the rest of the lights flicker in a line one by one along the whole snake of cars. You are still filming this, now feeling more weirded out that your friend isn't coming outside to laugh at your unease.

Then the bar slams down on your lap, locking you into place. You scream, trying to pry it open with no success, yelling that this isn't funny. You start to curse and beg your friend to let you go, to get you out.

Then you see them. Your whole group of friends, on the other side of the fence, no where near the control booth and looking white as sheets as they stare towards you.

No.

They are staring above you in silent horror.

You turn you head, eyes starting to water as the realization hits.

There are eyes looking back at you from the shape in the fog.

There is a clawed hand gripping the back of the train, sending a grinding scream through the air from the force as it pushes the train into motion.

You are in for a ride.

You are a new story on the forum.

#trick or treat #art stuff #moony's art #moony writes #happy halloween

[dankusner]

Jeff Hiller Is Living His Best Gay Christian Life

Jeff Hiller knows why people come to see his one-man show, Middle Aged Ingenue.

“People like you more when you’re on TV,” the San Antonio native told the audience at New York City’s Public Theater the first time he performed it in August 2023, referring to his two seasons as the unexpected leading man opposite Bridget Everett on HBO’s Somebody Somewhere.

“It’s literally the only reason you’re here tonight, so thank you.”

When the show makes its Texas debut on April 13 at Austin’s State Theater as part of the Moontower Comedy Festival, Hiller—whose newfound fame also stems from a stint playing a serial killer on American Horror Story—may not say it quite the same.

“I’ve tried to pull that back a little bit because my husband said, ‘I think that’s kind of insulting,’ ” he says during a video chat with Texas Monthly. “And I’m like, ‘BUT IT’S TRUE!’ ”

Even on a laptop screen, the six-foot-five Hiller is a big presence: an always-on comedian of oversized expressions in both face and voice, his (Hiller is open to any and all pronouns) conversation regularly punctuated with emphatic beats, mock-whispered asides, and effervescent laughs.

Today, he’s in a Minneapolis hotel room—which he hurriedly attempts to tidy as the camera light comes on—preparing for that night’s performance.

We quickly realize it’s also Good Friday, which, given that a major portion of the show traces his journey from closeted aspiring pastor and Texas Lutheran University theology major to actor, seems fitting, inappropriate, or both. “Isn’t that weird?” Hiller says. “I did really badly at scheduling my show about church!”

To be fair, “church” is not the buzzword Hiller uses in his thumbnail description of the show: “a night of stand-up about life, love, and three stories about assholes. Not rude people. Literal anatomical human buttholes. Three of them.”

One of the three is from his time as a social worker in Denver, working with homeless youth and in HIV prevention (no spoilers for the other two).

But church is what made Hiller he who is, and church is also very much at the heart of his character, Joel, on Somebody Somewhere.

Executive produced by former Texans Mark and Jay Duplass, it’s a comedy, albeit one that is also bittersweet and dark, created by Hannah Bos and Paul Thureen as a vehicle for Everett, a New York singer, actress, and comedian who is originally from Manhattan, Kansas.

It’s a show full of people you don’t often see on TV: so-called “real Americans” in so-called “flyover country” who farm and go to church and watch college football and buy “live laugh love”–type throw pillows and raise children and experience loss and love, in both biological and found families.

And some of those Americans who go to church or dress head-to-toe in Kansas State Wildcats swag are people of color.

Or gay.

Or trans.

Just like Hiller and the show’s third star, drag performer Murray Hill.

“Some people have said, like, ‘Oh, this fantasy. This fantasy of openly gay people in middle America,’ ” Hiller says. “And the weird thing is, it’s not a fantasy.”

The son of mechanical engineer Raymond and housewife turned CPA Mary, Hiller grew up in San Antonio (“outside of 410, inside 1604”) and went to Churchill High, where he was in the choir (which meant he went to one football game a year, when they sang the National Anthem), but not the theater-kid clique. “They were cooler kids,” he says. “I’m much better at theater than at choir. But choir was a safe space.”

So was San Antonio’s Shepherd King Lutheran Church, where even the kids who bullied him at school had to be nice.

He was there for something—worship, choir, youth group—six days a week, and would have gone on Fridays too if there was an event to join.

He went to Texas Lutheran (“which everyone says is the Harvard of Seguin, Texas”) intending to become a pastor, while still getting a classic liberal arts education.

In Middle Aged Ingenue, he tells how he first came out, during a semester abroad, to a total stranger in Cape Town.

Nobody, including his own parents, has ever been surprised. “Oh, that’s niiiiiiiiice!,” Hiller recalls/imitates in Middle Aged Ingenue, with the sort of squealing voice people use to talk to puppies. “Thank you for telling me.”

But at that time, being himself also meant he couldn’t be a pastor (the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, Hiller’s denomination, began allowing gay clergy in 2009).

He graduated from TLU in 1998 with a degree in theater, and eventually made his way to New York, after a short time in Denver.

He dreamed of working full time as an actor, but was afraid that no one else would see it. “I felt like people would look at me and be like, you?”

He wound up doing comedy and improv at New York’s Upright Citizens Brigade, and immediately saw other students and performers landing commercials and small movie parts.

Then he saw one of his teachers, Paul Scheer, get a TV show (Human Giant).

One of his improv teammates, Bobby Moynihan, got on Saturday Night Live.

By then Hiller was himself a teacher, and soon his students, including Broad City’s Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer, and The Good Place’s D’arcy Carden, were getting their own shows or major parts.

“And I was still teaching,” he says. “It became very much a come-to-Jesus moment. Like, uh-oh, this might not happen. But I just kept plugging away. Like an idiot,” he adds with a laugh.

Prior to Somebody Somewhere, Hiller ran the gauntlet from unknown to obscure to “hey, it’s that guy!”

He racked up commercials and sitcom supporting parts (including on Broad City, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and two different spots on 30 Rock), starred in one Off-Broadway/Public Theater hit that was not at all a Broadway hit (Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, which walked so Hamilton could run).

But he was also tiring of only ever playing parts like “snippy gay waiter” or “bitchy customer service representative.”

And then he finally landed the role of, well . . . “gay best friend.”

But Joel is so much more than that.

The show’s second season was billed as a “totally platonic love story,” as the relationship between his character and Everett’s Sam became the heart of the show.

The character jumped off the page and right into Hiller’s heart when it was first suggested he audition for the role (he was acquainted with Everett and Murray Hill in New York, and they are all performers at the Public).

“I loved him,” Hiller says. “I loved him. I really was like, ‘Oh, they wrote this for me!’ ” They did not, in fact. “But he’s so much like me. I know exactly how to play him. It felt very meant to be.”

The similarities went beyond both Joel (who has no last name) and Hiller being churchy gay men from red states. Even some of the details in Joel’s backstory overlapped with Hiller’s life: having a stress rash in high school; driving a Buick LeSabre; not only having a vision board, but having a Vitamix blender on his vision board. The fact that Joel loves to take and count his “steps” was something the writers did add to the character based on Hiller, who is also a late-in-life runner, now that he no longer associates physical activity with the Lord of the Flies–like atmosphere of high school gym class.

And of course, they are both former seminary students who both love church (though Hiller, whose husband, Neil Goldberg, is Jewish, is no longer a regular).

Not only are there tons of other people like that, Hiller points out, but not every church is a place of intolerance and fundamentalism.

“I know so many openly gay men and women who are still part of mainline Protestant churches,” Hiller says. “That’s where their community is. Where they find friends and connections. And a lot of times church is also the base of social justice for these places. Food banks, rent assistance, even [helping] asylum-seekers. And so I think that the church often gets a bad rap.”

He then switches to a conspiratorial mock-whisper.

“Now, there are some really bad churches too, don’t get me wrong,” he finishes with a giggle.

People talk about Somebody Somewhere as a low-key, almost short-story-like TV show; “a show made up almost entirely of small, unassuming moments,” as Vulture’s Jen Chaney put it.

Which it is.

As Hiller observes, it’s a TV show about “humans who are bound by the rules of our planet,” as opposed to dealing with dragons or zombies.

But it is also not without its over-the-top drama and broader-than-broad comedy: diarrhea, cheap-motel affairs, physical and emotional fights, weddings, deaths.

It’s a show about not giving up on yourself and your life, even if you’re over forty (“significantly,” Hiller mock-mutters), which resonates for its actors as much as their characters.

That Somebody Somewhere also brought him to American Horror Story: NYC was kismet.

Ryan Murphy’s production company reached out to him after Somebody Somewhere’s first season aired and asked if he’d be willing to take a Zoom with the creator, who is also behind such shows as 9-1-1: Lone Star, Feud, and Glee.

“Which is hiiiiiilllllarious,” Hiller says, drawing out the word, as if he was going to say no. “I would have played one of the the dead bodies!”

Hiller’s character is horrifying and creepy but also just a little sympathetic, in a season that was both a Grand Guignol evocation of New York culture and gay culture in the 1980s, when the actual horror was the tragedy of AIDS.

And because AHS has far more viewers than Somebody Somewhere, he gets recognized as the terrifying Mr. Whitely far more than as lovable Joel.

“It’s funny because for so long, I really felt like my gayness was a detriment,” Hiller says. “I always felt like I could probably be on a sitcom if I weren’t so obviously gay. So it’s nice that my two biggest projects are celebrating that I’m gay. Well, not necessarily ‘celebrating’ on American Horror Story,” he walks back with another laugh. “But it’s an important part of his character!”

In Middle Aged Ingenue, Hiller jokes about the little gift he bought himself from having more rewarding and consistent work—health insurance, which of course is not a joke.

And neither was the vision board: Hiller’s got himself that Vitamix, just like Joel did.

With “not that much commitment”—no kids, he points out, but a husband, a cat, and a dog, he wants to work as much as he can while the work is there to be gotten, including writing and producing his own stuff.

“I’m not very easily castable,” he says. “So I’m aware of that and I’m trying to create my own work.” Middle Aged Ingenue, which he’s performing intermittently, is his third one-man show. He’s about finished a memoir (which will likely bear the same title) and he’s writing and developing pilots.

Even when he reached the peak of his time with UCB, performing in their flagship show, Hiller couldn’t help but think “I have more to give,” he says. “I have more to give than this. And I’m glad I get to give it. I’d like to give more of it.”Film & TV

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