#and then hand me conflicting bullshit info about what it wants

[writefightandflightclub]

Ride or Die (Santiago “Pope” Garcia x fem!reader): Chapter Six (of 11 - COMPLETED SERIES)

Series summary: Together, you and Santiago have been “soldiers” then “friends” then “lovers”; but will you ever figure out what comes next, especially when Santiago can’t (or won’t) stop running? 

Genre: a LOT of angst, (some) smut, best friends to… lovers?

Warnings: see collated series warnings, here. 

Series info: this is a COMPLETED SERIES. All chapters are written and queued. Posting schedule is here (includes series master list). 

Author’s note: Hope you like this one. Weirdly it's one of my fave chapters. (I love Frankie, you'll see.) Slightly shorter chapter this time. The angst continues (I’m so sorry... but also I'm really I'm not sorry at all, yk? :P)!  As always, I would be super, super grateful for any comments / reblogs / asks you may wish to send my way, and I'm so touched that anyone would even consider reading this far along in the story! ILY :-*

Word count: 3.7k for this part. 

Tag list info: will reblog separately tagging those on taglist. You can request to be added to taglist if you are 18+. Send me an ask, please, so I can keep track :)

Santiago watches you go. Feels the violence of you being snatched from his side like a wound. 

He feels lost for a moment. Paralysed as he watches you retreating, barging by Frankie and Will and Benny in the doorway; most of the boys - barring Tom- having mobilised downstairs. They are soldiers, after all, and so they can sense a conflict. They look like it too. They look primed: to assess, attack, defend. Defend you. Always was that way. That’s all Santiago ever wanted too. 

“Hey. Hey, hey. Come on. What is all this?”. Frankie attempts to soothe as you hasten your approach across the sand, towards the refuge of that doorway. As though Santiago is an earthquake and you must take shelter from him there. “Come on,” he calls out to the two of you, indiscriminately. And then, to Santiago only. “For fuck’s sake, man. You care about each other.”

Santiago can’t move. He desperately wants his feet to move after you but he can’t seem to get them to cooperate. Can’t seem to get any sound of protest to birth from his throat. Can’t seem to bring himself to stop you from walking away. Just like last time. Maybe he thinks he knows what’s better for you, and so he dare not try. 

Instead, he watches as Frankie futilely tries to smooth things -to slow you down - but on your approach he must see little chance of reconciliation in the folds and caving of your face, for he lets you barge right by him. You slip clean by Will on the porch too, and just past Will’s broad shoulders, Santiago can see his brother spinning on his heel. Launching himself to follow you back upstairs. To offer you the comfort you deserve after the wounds you didn’t. The wounds he has created by telling you the one thing he’d always feared himself. 

That there was no hope for the two of you. 

God. He had simply tried to love you, but how could he reach out to you softly when his hands are so lethal? How could he hold you, when all he ever did was hurt? 

He huffs a sharp breath out of his nose, cursing at himself under his breath. His heart is hammering in his chest. There is a ringing in his ears. Guilt. Fear. Adrenaline. Anger. Guilt most of all. Santiago watches dissociatively as Frankie beelines across the sands for him, not to comfort, he thinks, but to blame. It’s all he deserves, isn’t it? Maybe, but he feels exposed out here, alone on the sand, so he too mobilises towards the house. His head down and his pace purposeful, face locked in a grimace, as though perhaps he too could somehow slip by unnoticed, despite its guarded perimeter. Even though the whole squad is primed for damage control. Even though he’s flagged as the danger. The wrecking ball, the shell, the strike, threatening to bring this house to its knees. 

He’s done worse. 

He had wanted better for you.

“I’ve had enough of this bullshit, man,” he spits to Frankie - without looking at his buddy as he rounds on him, attempting to get in his way and slow him down. Santiago doesn’t like to feel caged in. To feel small. Vulnerable. He rasps the palm of his hand down over his mouth and chin. “Fuck.” 

Santiago reaches the porch, still ignoring Frankie, and moves to pass Will too. But, his old captain is having none of that. He pushes Santiago back firmly - heel of hand to shoulder. “Why don’t you leave it?” he warns, the words frothing between his teeth. Santiago still does not look up, his face a snarl, trying once more to shoulder barge and bypass his way into the house. “No, no way.” Will stands taller, knocking him back, practically looming over Santiago now. 

Santiago looks at him this time, in accusation. He squares off to him, tension writhing along his jaw, Will bearing down on him with all the weight of his bulk and presence and his track record. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Frankie placates from behind him, and Santiago feels the man’s hands settle on his tense, packed shoulders. He quickly shrugs them off. “Let’s take a walk. Let’s take a walk.”

“You fucking kidding me?” Santiago bites, his breath raging through his nose. 

“Take a fucking walk, Garcia.” Will orders coolly. The shorter man’s jaw writhes, tension rippling through his body, but he doesn’t plan on going toe to toe with Captain Miller. He knows that wouldn’t end well. 

Frankie tries again, planting his hands once more on Santiago’s shoulders and twisting him away from the porch. Santiago still hasn’t looked at the man. He can only feel him there. This quiet, calming presence, reflecting the grotesqueness of own anger back at him. Forcing him to face himself in the mirror. “Let’s take a walk. Come on, hermano. Take a walk.” 

Santiago rips his gaze and head away from Will and with an unbecoming grunt begins pacing it down the long strip of beach, adrenalin still piping into his veins. His body shaking, tremoring, and fists clenched by his sides. “Can you believe her? I’m just so… fucking-” He growls. 

And still, Frankie is behind him, in his PJs and sliders and just shoving him forward, palms planted on his shoulder blades. “Walk, man. Just fucking walk. Don’t talk. Move your legs.” Santiago tries it one more time, tries to twist around but Frankie just shoves him onward again, keeping pace behind him. He sticks with him, despite the huffed breaths and snipes and everything else. He walks him like a fucking dog until the adrenalin has burnt off. Until Santiago feels only jitters through his weak legs. Until he feels a pit open up inside and swallow him. Until he can carry himself no further away from you. Until he realises that no matter how far he walks he cannot run from himself. 

“You cooled off now, huh?” Frankie manages to soothe, even with the bitter lime-wedge bite in his tone. “Okay. Okay.” 

Santiago crashes. 

“Fuck, Frankie.”It is as though he turns to sand, knees buckling and dropping to a crouch, burying his face into his gently tremoring hands. “Shit.” He scoops up a handful of sand, tossing a tiny grit storm into the air. “Fuuuuucckk.” He crests, and he sags back on to his ass with a sorry thud into the sand, his legs spread and knees drawn up. He rests his elbows on top of them, his head sagging down in between his legs and his fingers lacing behind his neck. He looks like he’s protecting himself from debris. From the aftermath.  

To his side, Santiago hears Frankie sigh deeply, and he plonks himself on the floor beside his buddy. Santiago squirms performatively to dismiss the circles Frankie’s broad hand smooth into his shoulder, but he is eminently glad when his friend doesn’t quit. He needs this. Someone who won’t give up on him. 

Frankie’s robust voice is a comfort too, yet he can still hear some judgement in it. Knows it is coming. Still, generously, Frankie allows Santiago a moment. A breathing cycle before he must face another onslaught. “Hey. Hey, come on.” He pats his back more firmly, and Santiago just sits, tears piping freely down his cheeks. 

There is a groan around a bitten lip, and Santiago finally looks. Finally looks to see Frankie softly shake his head from side to side. Something is coming. Santiago can guess what. It’s somehow always his fault, isn’t it, and so he should expect the onslaught? Frankie’s voice is deceptively soft, but he always strikes in stealth. That’s where he does his best work. He applies another couple of slow, forceful pats to Santiago’s back, before scrunching his hand into his t-shirt and jostling him, perhaps as though he could shake some sense into him once and for all. “I don’t get it, man,” Frankie intones. “Isn’t she everything you ever wanted?”

Santiago closes his eyes, the final smattering of tears beading in his long lashes. “I don’t know why I can’t…” His shoulders tug up as he sucks in a steadying breath and promptly releases it again, digging his closed fists into the sand before him. “I don’t. I just…” His eyebrows leap up in distress as he wrestles with the complexity. “I want to. I want to, but she’s better off without me. She doesn’t deserve all of my bullshit.”

“I don’t think she’s once tolerated any bullshit, hermano, least of all yours.” 

Santiago sees what his buddy is trying to do, but Santiago shakes his head forlornly from side to side. “I wouldn’t be good for her. Wouldn’t be good enough…” 

Frankie clicks his tongue. “She wants you. Don’t patronise her by thinking you know better.” 

“No. It’s too late. I fucked it. I… Shit.”

Frankie’s voice drops an octave. “I’ve been patient. But I’m tiring of your fucking excuses, man.” He does; he sounds tired. Everyone, always so tired of him. “Look ahead with me for a minute, alright?” Frankie gestures with a sweep of his arm through the air, as though Santiago could fix on a vision of the future before him. Instead, all he sees is a black, rolling sea, fringed with frayed white lace. A round disk of mellow light shining down through the night. “What do you see in your life? Christ - what’s your endgame? Getting shot in some fucking ditch?” Frankie swats Santiago’s arm with the back of his hand when he receives no reply, the man instead looking wistfully out over the water, his eyes as soft as the moon. “I asked you a question. So answer me. What’s your endgame? If you can’t even say it aloud, I can’t fucking help you.” 

“Her,” Santiago breathes, without looking away from the water. “Her. You know it is.” He scratches nervously over the stubble on his cheek. “I’m so in love, man. So gone for her I can’t fucking think straight.” 

“Right,” Frankie nods firmly, looking at Santiago unblinkingly from beneath his lashes. “So what the fuck are you going to do about it?” 

“I can’t just leave everything, Cat. Walk away and-” 

“-Can’t you?” Frankie smacks the back of his hand definitively against his own open palm. “I did. Tom. Will. She did.” 

Santiago actually scoffs then, as if something is funny. “Yeah. Yeah, Cat,” he concedes, pushing himself up from his hunched position in the sand, voice oddly taut. “You did.” Frankie stands with him, his chin raising as he defends from whatever low blow Santiago has brewing, a healthy dose of cynicism dripping from him already. “You did, and fucking look at you. You’re all a goddamn mess. A hot steaming pile of shit.” His eyes tighten with resolve, a solemnity shrouding his sharp features. “I can’t do that to her.” 

“Fuck you, man,” Frankie revs. “I’m good. I have a little girl on the way.” 

“Oh, please. Give me a break.” Santiago slices his hand through the air. “Tom’s eyes are fucking hollow. Selling fucking condos?” Frankie’s eyes flash with a rage and a sadness that seem to cancel each other out at first, and so he can all but listen as his buddy winds up his tirade. “Will - fucking Captain Miller - this burly bastard walking on eggshells because he’s afraid of flipping that switch and blacking out again. He choked a man out, no flag on his shoulder. Lost the love of his life. I thought those two were it, man. You’re scraping by on lines and don’t think we haven’t noticed.” Frankie’s head ducks down then, and he lets out an undone noise, something between a protest and a whimper. “Fuck, even Benny. The fucker gets beat to shit for fun. Do we sound fucking healthy to you, Cat? Is that how good it is getting out?” 

Frankie’s breaths are turbulent now. Santiago can see the familiar look of restraint on the man. Nostrils flaring, brow drawing down. The dark, formidable edge behind Frankie’s quiet exterior barely kept in check. He meets his gaze and he almost looks battle-drunk. On the offensive and ready to do whatever it takes to get off the backfoot. But, he reins it in. Swallows it down. Until all he delivers is a march forward, pacing Santiago backward, his finger jabbed into his chest and his words snarling directly against his cheek. “Fuck you, pendejo. You think you’re any better than us?” 

Santiago lets him have it. He’s not sure he has any fight left anyway. Isn’t sure he’d mind anymore if he got punched down into the dirt. 

“No. No, I don’t. That’s exactly my point.” Frankie searches his face, the knife in his keen eyes blunting to a wet sheen as Santiago lays it out in a small, fractured voice. “If you can’t do it, how in the hell can I make a go of it? I’m not the best of you. I’m so fucked up. I’ve got all this… fucking baggage. My mom. The nightmares. Lorea. The blood on my hands. I can’t be ‘it’ for her. I can’t. Because she deserves better. Deserves the fucking world, man.” 

Frankie clamps his hands down on Santiago’s shoulders, drawing back to look him squarely in the eyes. “Guess what? You’ll be fucked up in or out, trust me. But you may as well be fucked up with fewer bullets grazing your vitals daily, no?” 

Santiago shakes his head as if getting “out” is simply impossible. “I’m doing something, man,” he mutters, as if he can’t muster the strength to believe his own line anymore. As if all his old mantras are dead. Washed away in the sand. “I’m trying to do something down there.” 

“This mother’s homeland bullshit again?” Frankie really does sound eminently tired. Trust Santiago to hit on an argument within an argument, right? He can always twist just about everything. “Wake up call, Pope. You can’t fix it. You don’t even care if you fix it. You just want to keep fucking running.” 

Santiago tears away from Frankie’s grip, pacing in a small circle. “Fuck you.”

Frankie raises his palms in the air. As if he really is about to give up. What does he do if every one of his best friends gives up on him, Santiago thinks? “Fine. Whatever. That’s your shit, not mine. But look at it this way. You tell me you can’t walk away from that life. Look me in the eye and tell me this. You okay walking away from her?”

“She walked away,” Santiago spits, even though he scarce believes it any longer. Yes, you might have walked away. But he was the one who ran. “She was the one who-”

“-I don’t care!” Frankie yells, quickly losing patience, waving his palms of surrender around.  “I’m tired of this. Shit - I do not care about these little technicalities. Yeah. Okay. She left, right? She moved on, Santiago. Moved along the road. Life is moving on. Don’t blame her because you’re standing still, cabrón.”

Santi shifts his weight from foot to foot, swipes his palm back and forth over his mouth. “Fuck you, man, standing still my ass.” 

“Oh, what?” Frankie retaliates. “You can come at me but I can’t come at you?” Santiago’s expression is stark, all straight lines and angles and shadowed planes. “You stayed and for what? To spite her? To prove yourself right? Jesus, Pope. Lorea has you chasing your tail. You’re going round in circles. You fuck your problems away but you wake up and, hey, guess what? They’re still there. Still a big steaming stack of turds in the corner.” Santiago curses under his breath, spitting insults and deflections, but Frankie is undeterred. “And the worst thing is, you could fucking have it! You could have everything you want! What the rest of us wouldn’t give for that, pendejo.” 

“Right, yeah. Thanks for that assessment. I’m just a fucking chump, is that it?” 

“Hey, look. It’s you. I’m just saying what I see.” Frankie’s mouth curls into a tentative smile, yet the blow dealt by Santiago’s stony expression manages to dull it. 

“Asshole.” 

“Whatever. I’m done helping. You don’t want her? Fine. You don’t have to change a thing. Can drive her away all on your own, I’m sure.” 

A hard swallow bobs down Santiago’s corded neck, and he chews on some words before offering them up. “And if I do? Want her?” 

“If you do? Then, Christ. Stop moaning about it like a little bitch and do something about it.” Santiago’s face sours all over again, and Frankie holds his hands up once more in surrender. “I’ve tried the softly, softly approach, man. We’ve all got our own shit going on. It’s past time for a fucking intervention with you.” Santiago writhes his jaw, but there is no further protest from him. Eventually, he concedes with the barest of nods. Frankie braces his arm on his shoulder, his expression growing wistful. “I just want to see you happy, man. I gotta know that some of us can still be happy. Of all of us? She fucking deserves it. And, look. You deserve it too, alright?”

Tears ball in Santiago’s eyes. It’s been a long time since he felt like he deserved to be happy. A very long time. He concedes, with the barest of nods. “It’s… I’m….” He chucks out a breath, frustrated at his lack of ability to get his words out, his mouth and brows pinching together.  

“What? Spit it out.” Frankie gives his shoulder an encouraging jostle. 

Santiago looks him in the eyes, about to level with him. Perhaps upon seeing the vulnerability there, the pilot’s eyes soften. “I’m fucking… scared, man.” 

Frankie’s eyes tighten with a wistful mirth, and his hand slips up to curl around the back of Santiago’s neck in a brotherly embrace, emotion flooding the cracks in his grit-flecked voice, making it warm and robust. “Santiago. Idiota. The way she looks at you, man? You don’t have a damn thing to be scared about.”

Tears glisten in Santiago’s eyes once more, and Frankie draws him into a tight, enclosing hug. Santiago lets himself collapse into it, wrapping his arms around Frankie’s broad, slender torso. After a few moments, and an extra squeeze for good measure, Frankie draws back, still cupping the nape of his buddy’s neck. 

“Cool down and come back to the house okay?” Frankie encourages, eyes needling Santiago for an answer until he nods. “Look. You okay?” He nods again, more adamantly this time as Frankie soothes him, dipping his chin down and raising his brows to hammer home the seriousness of his inquiry. “Yeah? Not gonna do anything stupid? Santiago?” 

“Yes. Yeah. I’ll be okay.” 

Frankie drops his arms, evidently feeling somewhat reassured. Yet, with Santiago, the fact that he promises not to do anything stupid bears repeating. “What are you gonna do?” 

“I’ll take a walk,” Santiago nods, his face drawn down into stern lines. “I’ll come back to the house.” He regards his friend, his eyes still painted with concern. 

Santiago frowns. Scratches the back of his neck. “Listen. You okay?” 

“Yeah,” Frankie grins, an element of deflection in it. “I’ll be okay.” He bumps Santiago in the shoulder with his fist. “Fuck you though.” 

“Yeah. Sounds about right. Listen, we gotta talk soon, huh?” 

The smile drops from Frankie’s face as he contemplates being the one placed under scrutiny. “Yep.” 

Santiago shuffles from foot to foot. “Will you…”

“Yeah,” Frankie reassures. “I’ll make sure she’s alright.”  

“Love you, man,” Santiago calls, as Frankie turns on his heel. 

He calls back over his shoulder, walking a few backward paces. He comes to a halt a few metres from his friend. “Yeah, I know. Love you too.” 

“And… I’m sorry.” He had no right to drag Frankie’s shit into this. 

“Yeah. I know that too,” Frankie revs. “Not as sorry as you’re gonna be if you ever say shit like that to me again. I’m too old for this bullshit, man.” Still, Frankie shrugs, indicating no hard feelings. “Anything else you want to say for yourself?” He juts his chin up. Watches Santiago struggle with the words, but allows him the time to pattern them out.  

“She said she wants to fucking marry me. Can you believe that? But… I’m not that guy, Cat. I’m not the picket fence guy. I…” A frown layers over his already stern face, and he gazes intently at a spot in the sand, mid-way between them. “I don’t want to be the guy who… ruins her life.” 

Frankie inhales deeply, letting the whole gust of breath go in one, puffing it out through his pouted mouth. He looks far too tired for this. “Fuck, I don’t know man. You’ve got so many hang-ups I could use you as a coat rack. But that doesn’t mean you’re not loved. And that’s enough, no? Picket fence doesn’t suit you? I don’t fucking know.” Frankie shrugs, palms tipped up towards the sky. “Shit. Have whatever kinda perimeter you want. Just -for Christ’s sake - make sure you put her on the right side of it. Don’t keep shutting her out.” 

“That’s some deep shit, Cat.” 

“Not just a pretty face, cariño.” 

Santi grins. 

“Now, are you done? I gotta fucking sleep.” 

Santiago nods, and watches as Frankie begins to turn away again. But, there must be something in Santiago’s face which causes him to think better of it. Instead, he surges towards the man, cupping the back of his head in his hand and planting a kiss to the middle of his forehead. The frown lingering there disappears. “I love you, asshole.” 

There are several things which bear repeating when it comes to Santiago.

“I know.” Santi stares intently at his feet. 

And, finally satisfied, apparently, Frankie seems willing to leave his buddy to it - granting him a moment to contemplate things alone. To contemplate you. To contemplate his words of advice. 

Santiago feels grateful for Frankie. Even feels bolstered for a moment, until he realises that what he’d assured him might not be true. That even a love that feels too abundant to bear? That it is not always enough. After all, you’d told him as much, hadn’t you? 

His love wasn’t enough. He wasn’t enough. 

Frankie walks away. 

Santiago will have to decide if he’s going to do the same. 

Or maybe he’ll run. 

After all. Isn’t that all he’s good for?

#santiago pope garcia x reader #oscar isaac #ride or die series #triple frontier #santiago pope garcia

[bonefall]

do you have any plans for willow tail?

No solid plans, just little fragments that I'm fond of.

I do actually like the bunny bone idea, in some ways. I like how it starts. She sees Red Claw just sunbathing on the moor, can't stand the idea of seeing his ugly mug around, and comes up with a way to get him in trouble. It's so petty!!

"Ohh I'll get my revenge on him! First I'll eat my lunch, and then I'll CLEAN my lunch, and put it on the border, and say that he is eating our rabbits. That will make Wind Runner yell at Clear Sky, and he will yell at Red Claw, and he will never sunbathe here again aha HA HA it's BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT!" Ok Yzma. I love you.

Mundane bullshit I love it so so much. She just ate her lunch for the drama.

That's such an interesting idea for a conflict, y'know? I love it so much more than "IT WAS ALL FOR REVENGE." What starts as petty, easily resolvable drama escalates because Clear Sky is SO easy to offend, which makes Wind Runner dig her own heels assured that she's right, and then eventually Willow Tail can't back down because it's gone too far and she hates Red Claw too much.

And even Moth Flight. I wish they did more between Willow Tail and her, as friends and allies. They both hate Red Claw for getting people they love killed, it would have been a lot more interesting seeing the two of them commiserate and confide in each other.

(but if moth had friends, then you can't do the stupid celibacy rule because then the clan would. like. help her babysit a little. which they offer to do, btw, canon moth flight is just such a freakazoid that she rejects all help. its a bad book, brent)

It's also interesting the way that Clear Sky is, again, a monster in this book. He clawed her eyes out, for the crime of "stirring up trouble." Then he stepped aside and told Red Claw he could do whatever he wanted with her. It would be a shockingly violent thing even for someone who earned that level of brutality. I really expect no less from the SkyClan tyrant.

(it's not lost on me btw, that the writers will go to bat for Tom the Wifebeater and give him a redemption death but then show Willow Tail suffering and dying slowly on screen for Clear Sky's vindication. They don't see him as the demon they wrote him as.)

Anyway... time for Fragments Proper.

BB!Willow Tail

TO BEGIN WITH: BB!DOTC is the one arc that I have no intention to stay faithful to. I do not value "sticking close to canon" the way I do with the others, it is not a consideration. It's a total overhaul-- with Gray Wing being killed in book 1 and xeir roles taken by Thunder Storm's mother, a language barrier between Park Cats and Tribe Cats, and a totally different order to the formation of the Clans.

Moth Flight's Vision is now Moth Flight's Vow... and there's no room for Willow Tail's bunny bones drama anymore. It's a completely different story with a brand new origin for the Cleric's Vow.

So if the Bunny Bones drama remains, it'll have to go somewhere else

Though I do like it, I'm also nonplussed about losing it.

I feel like the Bunny Bones plot works best with Skystar as the antagonist, because no one else is nearly as easily offended as him... but at the same time, I have a really solid plan for him losing 8 lives to Star Flower's Ritual, and then his final picking a fight with the River Kingdom, winning a significant amount of territory.

But, it would also be VERY cathartic to have Skystar's final death be just after gouging Willow Tail's eyes out, with someone deciding ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and even if Willow Tail did lie, she doesn't deserve to be tortured.

I'd be inclined towards doing the Bunny Bones plot the way I described liking it; as petty drama that got out of hand, but really revealing Skystar's true colors.

Hmm... maybe I'll make it a Tiger Sky novella, and have this be the story about her deciding to leave SkyClan.

(INFO for those who don't recognize the name: Tiger Sky is the BB version of one of the Angel Fetus Children they gave Clear Sky. She is the daughter of Falling Feather, and half-sister of Thunderstar.)

Anyway-- depending on if Willow Tail ends up being a Park cat or a Tribe cat, her name could be very different. The Wind Coalition is Park-culture, so they're born nameless and earn titles over time.

It's likely she won't end up with Willow Tail as her name, but something more like Willowbark Weaver, or Willow Flayed Bare. Willy for short.

Windstar's Revelation, a direction given by Gray Wing the Wise in the aftermath of the First Battle, is to begin innovating and moving away from violence. So I can see Willy earning this title after demonstrating excellent uses for willowbark.

Her childhood name was different. The first name a Park Cat wears is [Mentor]'s Paw, and before that, they have a simple physical descriptor.

So first of all I need to pick a mentor for her, and I'll only figure that out after making a loose allegiance list

And second of all, her baby name was probably Tabby, and her brother's was Mottle.

Speaking of her brother, though...

I don't like how they broke Frog's back and then just had him die on the way home. I dislike the trend in this arc where several cats get disabling injuries (Moon Shadow, Frog, Tiny Branch, Willow Tail), only to die of them shortly after.

So I think I will be keeping Frog alive, especially to point out how they dealt with a paraplegic cat in ancient times in contrast to modern times, with Wildfur and Briarlight.

Which means he will also need a new name and chosen mentor, if he's a Park cat. But anyway...

Their ages might get shuffled, but at their very oldest, I want them to both have been young during the First Battle.

And that's what I've got, so far!

#BB!Willow Tail #Better bones au #BB!DOTC

[birlwrites]

for your asks when you’re bored: do you have any more thoughts on band au (in general or barty/regulus/evan/pandora relationships/friendships specifically!)

:D

ajglskghskgjshf i have really specific headcanons for the band au

SO barty and regulus are best friends/roommates who were best friends, tried dating, didn't like it bc the romance shit was weird, stopped doing that, still besties (but if james asks they've actually gotten together and broken up like 80 times in the past 3 years, barty wants to see how much relationship drama james will accept before he calls them out on the clear bullshit). tbh probably still hooking up regularly but without any expectation of romance.

pandora's been their neighbor for years which is how she knows them. barty's basically been in love with her since she exploded a baking soda and vinegar volcano at 2am on a wednesday. they have been close friends for years and the pining is insane

and pandora knows EVAN because they met when pandora's girlfriend's sister had her 21st birthday and they went clubbing, evan was there because he was dating the sister's friend at the time and drunk!pandora bonded with tipsy!evan about how neither of them were actually all that happy in their relationships and they swapped phone numbers and became actual friends. and that was a few years ago.

(pandora's about 2 years older than reg/barty/evan. in my head this story starts when she's 27 working on her historical musicology phd, and reg/barty/evan are all around 25)

pandora has known evan and barty/regulus for similar amounts of time, they've just never met for idk reasons. maybe evan was moving around so he just wasn't Physically in the area for a while

so the reason that evan ends up in the band is because barty tells pandora that they need a new singer and pandora goes 'i know a guy'

but pandora and evan can and will flat-out lie to people and claim that they're half-siblings just for funsies

pandora calls people as her primary method of communication so sometimes barty will get phone calls from her that are just like 'hi barty! look out your window RIGHT NOW, there's a cloud shaped like a goose' (regulus, jumping on the opportunity to mock barty: she never calls ME about goose clouds. blatant favoritism)

regulus and evan don't meet until after evan has already started with the band, it's some sort of small get-together with the whole band and various plus ones (or plus threes in the case of james bc he brought all of the marauders but also sirius IS their wardrobe guy so like, it's not totally random)

evan was supposed to get to know people in general and instead spent 3 hours straight talking to regulus in the corner. he has no idea What the deal is with barty and regulus (james and marlene had conflicting info because barty likes to lie to james as i said and also marlene doesn't know what the hell is going on) so he's resigned to being confused and yearning

regulus on the other hand is NOT resigned to being confused and yearning!!! yay!!!!!!!!

and barty does a lot of instagram lives from home that always somehow turn into him and regulus a) bickering about chores, b) constructing their grocery list, or c) enthusiastically bashing tom riddle and the death eaters. the chat is flooded with comments like 'dear god how often do you have to buy coffee are you okay' and 'barty can u pls ask regulus to infodump about why [death eater song] sucks'

#band au with bonus hatred #should i make an inbox tag

[rollercoasterwords]

Hey, I saw the ask about how you characterized Marlene, and was interested in how you view/characterize Dorcas. Even though there isn’t a lot of canon info about her, what do you keep in mind when writing her?

hmmmm dorcas meadowes....

well i feel like dorcas and marlene share a lot of similarities in terms of both being sort of headstrong, stubborn, not putting up with any bullshit and getting labeled as abrasive or rude for it. but in my brain dorcas is sort of like the ice to marlene's fire, if that makes sense. like, i think dorcas plays her hand very close to her chest, in that she sort of tries not to show it when something gets to her or when she cares a lot about something--whereas with marlene she just sort of lets her feelings explode.

i think dorcas is also more observant and attuned to what's going on with other people, like she's good at reading people. and i think that's a power that she uses both for good and for evil lol, like she's good at knowing what her friends need but she's also good at manipulating people to get what she wants.

and i imagine dorcas as much less of an idealist and more of a realist, someone who has a pretty cynical worldview and is less focused on the "greater good" than the good of herself and those she cares about--which, for me, is one of the biggest sources of conflict between her and marlene. i also usually just picture dorcas as like, generally a very competent person who seems like she knows what she's doing, whereas i imagine marlene as kind of a hot mess lol

anyway, that's just my specific vision of these characters! like i said before, there literally is almost zero canon info, and people can do pretty much whatever they want--this is just how i imagine them :)

[cinnamon-grump]

Really hate looking up care tips for plants, and everything being like “it’s super easy! [insert minimal information]” or “this plant is so easy to take care of, you’d have to TRY to kill it!!”

Like.. im looking for help because its not doing well and none of y’all are helpful. In fact that second one makes me feel like a terrible person so thanks for that

#shut up ash #fuckin... hhhh #like nobody can tell me how to ACTUALLY keep an english ivy alive indoors #theyre all like its super easy and minimal care required uwu #and then hand me conflicting bullshit info about what it wants #and i haven’t seen anything even try to explain how it can be both crisp on edges like burn near the stem.. #but squishy and limp at the end of it #like?? what the fuck?? #then on top of all this im just doing what i think might be best n my partner be making me feel like a fucking moron #like u can be confused or tell me what you think WITHOUT using that condescending ‘...okaaaay’ tone bullshit.. #or u could just make me feel like a dumbass jerk all the time over everything idk whatevwr #and yes i know its mostly my fuckin.. mental illness innit.... but damn #and god forbid i admit that their tone hurts my feelings.. because then im attacking them i guess #im so fucking tired man #literally nothing i do is good and im sick of it #sick of trying to interact with literally anyone because it always goes bad no matter WHAT i do or don’t say #i just want to become a hermetic swamp witch and never speak to anyone ever again

[allyouneedisbuck]

Saturday Sun I

Summary: it’s the beginning of may. mother’s day has come and gone, with your family trip coming up and things are seemingly falling apart even more. you and harry are forced to come head to head with real issues. (harry x fem!reader)

Word Count: 1.3K (second part will be the longer piece) 

Warnings: Angst. Cheating. Find all in depth warnings in the first two parts. 

Notes: hello, part three is divided into two parts, this first one focusing on some conflict & the second part to it will focus more on family dynamic & light resolution. part of this piece has harry’s pov instead of entirely the readers. 

Part One & Two (along with a companion piece) can be found in my h.s masterlist! 

-

i need to ask her

what’s going on?

are we going strong?

May - Part I

It’s the Monday before your flight.

April had come and April had gone and you were still struggling to focus on anything but your kids and issues with Harry. You suppose that’s okay, your next deadline was months away and with the trip coming up all you could focus on were those things. 

Mother’s Day had slipped your mind completely. You were busy making lists and triple checking flight info to even think of asking the kids and Harry about their plans. 

“How was your weekend? Everything went well?” Dr. Walsh’s voice forces you to look up from the new watch that adorns your wrist. 

You glance at Harry, who waits for you to answer. You shrug. “It was nice… Harry and the kids treated me yesterday.” 

The watch is a beautiful rose gold color and is a thin band compared to the band of your last watch. Your kids initials had been engraved onto the inner band. It was, by all means, a lovely and well thought out gift. Not only replacing the watch you had worn for a decade and had finally snapped, but reminding of the best parts of your life. 

“Tell me about your day!” Dr. Walsh smiles kindly. Her eyes move between you and Harry, polite and u judging, before landing on your wrist.

“I got breakfast, at the table, breakfast in bed is too hectic with three kids and a baby.” You laugh softly, thinking of the kids and their not well hidden excitement for your day. “And they all got me gifts. The twins made clay handprints in school. Seph picked out a new wallet for me and even bought it on her own!” 

It’s impossible to contain your happiness that rolls off of you when you talk about the kids. Bragging about their thoughtfulness and kind gifts makes you almost forget where you are.

“That sounds so lovely.” Dr. Walsh brings you back down. Your eyes move to Harry. His eyes are open and he’s smiling softly as you speak. But his fingers are fidgeting in his lap and you know he had hoped you would be proud of his gift too. 

And you were. But maybe that was the worst part. That it was kind hearted and well thought out and so very Harry that you almost hated it. You hated how one small gift had caused a sliver of hope to crawl into your bloodstream and make your heart race for him again. 

That it made you believe, for one brief moment, all his promises and words about never falling out of love with you and never wanting to let you go. 

“Harry got me a watch too.” You finally say, quiet and full of despair. “Mine snapped a few weeks ago… It has the kids initials in it. It was a good day.” 

Dr. Walsh nods. “It’s a lovely watch.” Her eyes move pointedly from it on your wrist to you. “So what’s wrong?” 

You fiddle with it, twisting it on your wrist and tapping the face anxiously. “It feels tainted.” You steadily avoid looking at Harry as you say the words. Dr. Walsh nods, but doesn’t say anything, silently urging you to continue. “I love it. And that… makes me feel guilty. And it makes me feel dumb because one stupid gift made me forget this bullshit for a second and I just felt that love for him again.”

There’s an intake of breath to your right, but Dr. Walsh doesn’t look at all shocked by your words. “It makes sense. You want to be angry. You have a right to be angry and when something gets in the way of that, you’re unsure of how to feel.” 

You nod. Her words make sense. You did want to be angry and after your brief elation with the gift you found you still were. 

“I am going to feel like this for the rest of my life?” You whisper. 

She shakes her head. “No. One day, this anger will be gone. But… it’s up to you whether or not you can get there with each other. If you can forgive Harry and let go of the anger. Or not. Neither is wrong.” 

You nod. Sometimes these sessions felt like she was strictly talking to you. Harry just listened. Spoke up when you asked him to, or when Dr. Walsh worked on exercises. 

A part of you found that it helped. You were able to say things you may not have ever said to Harry. But sometimes it felt like he was unsure if he should try and that made you angrier. 

-

Harry’s hopes are built up and shattered. It’s his own fault, he knows it is. Knows that this was an easily fixable marriage before he fucked up. 

You’ve talked about the cheating a little in therapy. Dr. Walsh has mentioned it, you’ve let your anger out, Harry has apologized. It’s a cycle that seems never ending. He doesn’t know what to do. All he wants so desperately is to fucking fix it. 

But...

The drive has been silent. You stare out the window at cars and buildings that pass. There are bags in the truck rustling around, a last minute stop for last minute items needed for the trip. 

You had been silent in the store too. Quietly checking off your list as Harry pushed the cart behind you. Had his gift upset you this much? You still loving him made you this angry? 

“I… I don’t know what to do.” Harry finally says, forcing his voice to cut through the silence. You startle and turn to look at him. “Tell me what to do.” He pleads. 

He knows you can hear the desperation in his voice. Whether or not you were angry at him, you knew him, you knew his tells and his emotions. 

“What do you want me to say, H?” Your voice is a whisper but still harsh. “I don’t know! I don’t know what you can do! Build a time machine. Don’t cheat on me.” 

“It feels like we’re going in circles.” Harry tries to keep his calm. He wants to keep the anxiety and hurt out of his voice. “Like, you’re angry then you see this chance and there’s hope, then there’s anger again.” 

You scoff. “I’m sorry my pain isn’t linear enough for you! I’m sorry that sometimes I see glimpses of you and I’m reminded of us ten years ago, so in love and oblivious to the outside world. Sorry that it all comes crashing down when I remember that you fucking cheated on me!” 

Harry sighs and his grip on the steering wheel tightens. “I fucked up so bad. I know. I know. God, what can I do? Anything.” 

“Why did you do it?” You ask instead of answering. There’s a coldness in your words and Harry’s aware you’re both trapped in the car for another twenty minutes. So are you, apparently. “And don’t give me the same bullshit about being selfish and not knowing why and it being a mistake.” 

Harry feels desperation claw at his throat and tears burning in the corner of his eyes. It’s like he can’t breathe, trapped in a coffin of your anger and his guilt. He tries to keep his eyes focused on the road as he talks. “I… I felt wanted. I liked the attention.” 

There’s a sharp intake of breath, but Harry keeps his face forward and eyes focused. “Tell me what happened.” 

“Y/N…” Harry trails off. “I… I can’t.”

You groan and fall forward with your head in your hands. “I need to know, H. I don’t… I just need to know because all I can think about is these what if situations and scenarios in my head. And I’ll just keep running through them until I hate you.”

Harry bites down on his lip and spares a glance at you. “What if… What if I tell you and you hate me anyways?” The question is unfair. He knows it is. But he can’t fathom a world without you in it. A world where he sees you on drop off days and has to plan separate holidays. 

“I don’t know.” You say quietly. But, it feels like answer enough. There’s no reason for you not to leave. 

And Harry guesses a promise to try was never really a promise to stay. 

-

notes: thank you for the patience! i understand this piece is short, this part has been a lil tricky and i wanted to get the first part to may out before summer courses begun. i’m hoping i’m able to continue writing through them, but i will warn readers i am enrolled in two of the three week classes that have a lot of work and move quickly. so patience will be appreciated. i hope everyone is safe & healthy and has a wonderful end of school/university/spring! and congratulations to all the grads these next two months. i’m planning on ending this series with a total of five parts (march, april, may, june, july) w/ two endings.

tags (im tagging a couple ppl who messaged me awhile ago (after the last part), if u dont wanna be tagged anymore let me know! sorry!@alwaysclassyeagle @yourgoldengirls

if u wanna be tagged just message me & let me know if u want it for just this series or for all my h writing! ❤️

#harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles #harry styles writing

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

Gn!reader comforting dante after a nightmare please?

Can you say: 'angst?' 😅 I hope you enjoy

(Cw just in case: angst, emotional distress, dmc 1 trauma)

Things have been...uneasy for Dante since his last job. 

He wouldn't talk about it, which wasn't exactly new to you, but ever since you and Lady returned to Capulet after a job that yourselves took that had you out of the area for a few weeks and you came back to the shop to find evidence the the place had been sacked and everything from the dusty busted up couch to the old desk that had been sitting in the same spot for a decade tossed around and broken, pieces scattered across the shop also not to mention there looked to be a fire at some point with how there were now charred marks on the floor and walls. When asked by Lady what the hell had happened his answer was simple, cold and dead: "Job." 

After you guys worked to clean the place up, as if you could physically feel the tension growing and growing from the man as he sat there on the only unbroken piece of furniture in the whole office, his chair, staring dead silent at the picture of his mother nicely propped next to him on the ground. The subject was quickly dropped.

It wasn't long before Dante's attitude came back to him, with his shiny new desk he could prop his feet onto and new array of furniture that you convinced Lady to go help you buy with your cut of the money from your job together filled his shop, things felt like they went back to how they were before. You and Lady were taking in the jobs that came in while Dante declared himself on 'vacation' that mainly consisted of him sitting at his desk with a magazine over his eyes - not that you minded, you just appreciated he was actually taking time to rest, but it wasn't long before what truly happened on that last job needed to be addressed again. 

You were in the kitchen making a cup of coffee while looking through the mail, going through all the normal things you expect to see when getting the mail; bills, sales ads, and even more bills. However one important thing you do see and one you've been seeing for quite some time now was postcards addressing Dante. Now in all your time you've known the son of Sparda you have never once gotten postcards from anyone and they were all signed with a woman's name you did not recognize; Trish. Now you never really read what neatly scrawled onto the back out of respect for privacy, but you trusted your boyfriend and every time they came in you politely gave them to him for he looked them over and put them in a drawer in his desk. 

You take a sip of your might of coffee before gathering up the postcard and bills into your hand and aim to drop them off at Dante's desk so he can look them over when he wakes up from his scheduled magazine nap of the day. A loud hellish crackle throughout the air and slam onto wooden flooring makes you drop the papers in your hands instead of the relative easy pace you usually take to come out from the kitchen and into the office you're quickly up to arms grabbing your gun from the kitchen table and ready to fire at any demonic threat the moment you bash through the door but instead your met with Dante in devil trigger on the floor fallen out of his chair, desperately clutching at his face. You waste no time running over and dropping to the ground next to him. 

"You alright?" 

You go in to touch him only for clawed fingers to push you away, taking you back a little but you shake off and apologize. He shakes his head as he finally does speak, his voice distorted but you can still hear the human shakiness in it. 

"No, I'm good. Just a dream - just a dream." The way he spoke sounded more like he was telling himself that more than he was reassuring you. 

He closes his eyes and quickly fazes out of his demon form, the human one flashing before you. Now you can see the sweat drenching his face that causes his hair to stick to his forehead. 

Now you've had deal with Dante having nightmares before, the ones about his mother and brother and how he blames himself for...everything that happened to them, main one you've heard from him is if he had just let Vergil read that damn book instead of bugging him to play that they might still all be together today. 

Words swell in your throat as you watch him go get himself back up, white hair slipping over to curtain your view of his eyes as he stood to his feet and plumped onto his desk. Your eyes sadden as you watch him as he wipes a gloved hand over his face to clean off of the sweat clinging to his flesh until it's all visibly gone but soon he stills and keeps his face covered leather clad talons digging into his own temples until there's a point you swear you can see blood - his whole then body seems to just…lax. In such a still stone fashion as it becomes unnerving to watch. 

It's a few moments of heavy tension filled silence before either of you speak again but when it does it's actually Dante to be the one to speak, the statue unstones as he just seems to light with life with the exact moment the mask of facade slips on. 

"You hungry? Because I'm starving and you know what they say? You're not you when you're hungry or some bullshit right? I'll get us a pizza." 

How he turns and picks up the phone like it was just like it was any other conversation and nothing even happened is heartbreaking. He goes to press in Fredi's number that he knows by heart but is immediately stopped by you as you jump up and slam your hand on top of his and crash the phone back into the receiver, your voice cuts out any bullshit that the son of Sparda could have possibly pull out of his ass as you look him directly into his eyes and call him out by his name, your tone soft yet abrupt and bluntly straightforward. He wasn't going to bluff out and run away from this, no matter how much he wanted to you wouldn't let him. 

You stand right in front of him, in between his legs and making direct eye contact with him, Dante shutters out a breath as his churning gut begins to shake his core less and less as he focuses on the touch on his hand, how warm yours is as it comfortably squeezes his and makes him more aware of himself. Had he really been shaking this entire time? 

Your expression softens the more and more that you look at him until eventually he lets you snake an arm that isn't holding his hand around him and just feel as he seems to just melt against you. 

The two of you say that way for a while, he buries his face into your neck/chest and lets you comb and pet your fingers through his hair. You collect your thoughts before pushing him back slightly and raise his chin up to meet your gaze. 

"You don't have to talk about it, Dante. But I'm not letting you just pretend like everything's fine when both you and I know clearly that isn't the case. Bottling in all those complex feelings isn't good for anyone, even, and especially for someone as strong as you who's been through so damn much for far too long. Just...hold onto me, okay? For as long as you want, anything you need. And if you do want to talk about it-" Your voice carries off. "-I'll always be here to listen."

He takes in your word, conflicted. His eyes flickered over to stare at the wooden flooring and you can actually see him go through and argue with his own thoughts before he looks back to you, opening his mouth with an airy pause before letting out a sigh. 

He tells you everything, in full detail, everything about his last job. 

From Mundus' resurrection plan on Mallet Island, to answering a few of your earlier questions about that woman from the postcards - Trish a demon Mundus made in identical image of Dante's mother, the trails he faced all over the island leading him into hell itself to defeat Mundus, and most notably, his reunion with his brother after almost ten years - who from what you understood was barely a shadow of his former arrogant self; corrupt, brainwashed, broken. How he fought him, he killed him with his own hands. How maybe none of this would've happened if he just let him read that damn book or if he just had grabbed and yanked his ass and stopped his descent into the further depths of hell, what turned him into...who he fought. 

It's hard to listen to him as he spills out every single unheld back dark thought of his, but you let him finish no matter how much it hurts or terrifies you, you let him finish until he's out of words and practically sobbing into your arms, then you only hold onto him tighter. 

He looks visibly tired by the time he recollects himself, he apologizes for it but you shake your head and hold the sides of his face and remain quiet only pressing a soft kiss to his lips before telling him how much you love him and how proud you are that he managed to tell you what he did. Talking through it is the first step to healing and all. He hums as he rests his head onto you and holds you close, succumbing to the feeling in his chest and closing his eyes for just for a little while, even though he knows he shouldn't sleep just sitting at his desk with you just standing there with how long you've been like this your feet are most like tired, but he absorbs every little touch you make as he slowly lulls away.

This was was from over, both he and you knew that, wounds and events are still fresh in his mind and it would still be a few years until he goes through the worst of it (*cough cough* there's still dmc 2 era to go through *cough cough*) but even when he's through his worse - but Dante's glad that he can feel at least a small bit of solace in the comfort in your arms. 

If you like what you read please consider reblogging! It means the world for writers and artists!

Tagging list

@calamitysaiyan @blacktalonsb @lokilover476 @fandomtrashgoddess @radeendaweed

How to be added to the tagging list + additional info

#devil may cry #devil may cry x reader #dante sparda #dante x reader #mine

[1tarot1with1k1o]

BTS CURRENT ENERGY

l asked how BTS is feeling and I got the message that after a period of introspection and hard work, they are feeling ready to share the gained knowledge with other people. It tells me there's a feeling of commitment and responsibility with doing so. They might be feeling the need to reflect on themselves and on how they contributed to the group so far (likely, since it's a self-made album, they might wonder if they did a good job with their assigned tasks); they might also already be wondering what are the next steps to take, both after the comeback and probably how to prepare in the best way possible for it.

Hmm, well; I got a card that symbolizes conflict and different contrasting opinions. I really don't feel it as a current energy, but it's likely something that might have happened in the process of coming up with ideas. Some members, might have taken a disagreement on a personal level because of stress, and they might have confronted each other about it. They might have all had something to say on different ideas, and it could have made them feel like they weren't moving forward, since it seemed like no decision was good enough to make it to the final cut.

Likely, with the bond and trust they have, they were able to calmly discuss about it and finally make up their minds. They found a way to use each member's opinion in a useful way, and by doing so, they reestablished harmony within the group.

l asked about their feelings on the comeback, and I think it might give them a sense of nostalgia? It might feel surreal to them having a comeback after staying "inactive" for long, they're using this experience to feel that excitement for their job once again. It gave them something to look forward to, after long; so they're excited about it. I think there's a general gratefulness, and they’re basking in their hard work. They reflected on themselves for long, and now they have a clearer idea of what they want to go for, in the future. They're overall more aware of their goals and aspirations, after experiencing first hand the different production stages of an album. They're more aware of themselves and of what they can do, in a way? They slowly watched their visions come to life and they have this renewed confidence for what they do. They are looking forward to this comeback a lot. They might be satisfied already (most of the time), and imagining how the fans will react to it gives them a hopeful anticipation for this project. This album might hold a really special meaning for them as it helped them mature and truly get to know themselves, and each other, better. They truly put their soul in the making of it. Let's give them a lot of support!

I got a card that didn't make much sense to me, and I was about to leave it out of the reading (if I don't pick up energies in a card I'm not going to bullshit it, so I prefer to just "omit» a message); but something told me "it's about the album you dumba$$" and I thought “oooh yeah that makes sense…thank you for the info” so here we go.

This album could have a recurrent topic of toxic patterns. It talks about how we turn to those, when we feel low in life. It's about our shadow selves; So we find ourselves going back to them more and more often, neglecting ourselves and slipping into bad habits. It's about how we might feel as we have no control, and have the sensation of being "chained' to a bad situation. When in reality all we would have to do to start trying to heal from it, with solutions that work for us. It talks about breaking free from these patterns and slowly getting out of the hold our shadows have on us. Gaining control back? (Take it with a grain of salt!)

*this reading was done in the October of 2020. So it is not recent*

**do not repost, even if you give credit. Just reblog. Or link this post if you must. Do not share outside of tumblr**

#klo #kpop readings #kpop tarot #bts tarot

[juggey]

another ryan haywood victim has spoken out twitter(.)com/MichelleVologs/status/1314588030926090240

link + summary. this is nsfw as it goes fairly in depth about what happened between them physically when she was underage, and i’m sticking a blanket cw on here for how he behaved when they were in a room together. i’m not sure what cw would cover it, but it definitely has the ability to be triggering.

she opens with an outline, and says she’s giving info because she thinks the community deserves to know, and specifies she’s only talking about her experiences and emphasizes that the victims coming forward are the ones who deserve empathy, not him.

aug 2017, ryan makes instagram, she’s 17. she dm-ed him how much she admired him, they had a casual back and forth until he checked her instagram and saw her pictures and changed his tone to flirty. she says she tried to play off his first couple of flirty messages as just him being awkward, but he keeps leaning into it. (he tells her he’s alone in his room at pax and he asks “what kind of package” she wants and she jokes about “what’s the dad package?” still trying to play it off and he says “hugs? it’s a bit different from the daddy package ;)”

she stops trying to play it off at that point and asks what’s the situation with him and his wife, he gives her a sob story about how he loves her but their sex life is dead, michelle says “i am so sorry to laurie” and says her reasoning was if that she was fulfilling his physical needs, their marriage could continue, specifies that she knows it was stupid but thought it was a solution at the time

she asked him if he slept with fans, he said once a long time ago, but he didn’t anymore. she says her reasoning is that if she did it, he wouldn’t risk his career by asking a different fan, or risk his marriage. she says they started sexting consistently and in sept all of ah was in la and ryan had his own room, say on sept 23 she lost her virginity to him and posts a timestamped photo of him walking around his hotel room where you can see her legs on the bed, mentions he seemed to be into the virgin thing and “teaching” her.

he never asked for her age, just asked her if she was in high school or college, and she was in college at the time as a 17 year old.

he told her that whenever she was ready for sex to just tell him, she told him, he immediately ripped off her dress, put on a condom w no foreplay and went straight for penetration, which she says “obviously didn’t work”, and his solution to make it go smoother was to take the condom off, finger her for a minute or so, and then penetrate her again condomless. she says it lasted for hours and was pretty rough.

november she entered a relationship, so she ended their sexual relationship but he continued to check in on her every few months to ask about her life and school and if she was single. she says she really thought he cared about her because he supported her a lot, but after tessa came forward she found out there were other people with stories pretty much identical to hers that she realized that it was wrong, and she wasn’t special, or a one time thing, but a part of his pattern of young fans who admired him with little experience. 

she says she doesn’t think it’s a coincidence that many of the people he engaged with had mental health issues, or were virgins,

she says that he noticed she was insecure about being naked and he said “i hate that you don’t see what i see, but on the other hand, i guess i’m glad because if you weren’t so insecure, if you didn’t know how hot you were, you wouldn’t be sleeping with me.”

she says they started things back up after awhile, and she told him that she had been underage when they had sex, and his response was “well, i trust you more than anyone.” and she says his “i didn’t do anything illegal” statement is bullshit.

she says she was very conflicted and initially wasn’t going to reach out to anyone or come forward because she wanted to protect him as someone she cared about, but it’s become clear he’s not a good person who does not deserve anyone’s trust or empathy.

she emphasizes that being careful of the power dynamics of boss/employee means we should also be careful of age gap power dynamics and celebrity/fan power dynamics.

she hopes that her story clarifies the situation for the community, even if it’s not the full picture, and that support is really important for people coming forward because they’re vulnerable and there are even more girls who haven’t said anything yet, with stories worse than hers.

#ask #info #anonymous #im not joking about the blanket cw its really really applicable. #Anonymous #haywood #account

[fonulyn]

(Spoilers Ahead!)

So, at the end of Infinite Darkness when Leon denied Claire access to the chip, I agreed with his actions. Why? People are unpredictable and dangerous as individuals and as a group. Leon believes that if the chip and its contents are shown to the public that the fear that Jason wanted people to feel would come true and he's right. Claire, on the other hand, feels like the people deserve the information, which is also true because let's face it, the government hides and continues to hide some awful shit and whether it's for the people's own good is a conversation and can of worms to open on another day. However, this time, I felt like Claire wasn't thinking that far ahead. I believe she was on the mindset of "let's handle that when we come to it," which, in all honestly, is how the U.S. is handling COVID-19 and we all know how's THAT going. Leon, on the other hand, is thinking far ahead and the repercussions that come with the release of that information. He sees the flames and the destruction and the fear. He sees people rioting in the streets. He sees people turning against people. He sees hatred and despair. Leon has faith and will always continue to have faith in people but he sees the stupidity and fear in them too. I love Claire but when she asked for that chip, I was on Leon's side and was like, "Nah, can't do it, sis."

yeah i mean

it's a clear cut example of a situation where the characters are both right, but they're looking at the situation from completely different angles and focus on the different aspects of it. Claire is focusing on people deserving all the info they can get and I absolutely agree with her that keeping secrets rarely ends well. Leon is focusing on trying to keep people safe and preventing large scale public panic, and I absolutely agree with him that a bombshell like that would've probably created a huge irreparable wave of panic.

so yeah i mean. they're both right. and both their solutions to the situation have both positives and negatives. it's just a matter of what you actually want to put most weight on. and like. both their solution could've blown up spectacularly. people focus a lot on how Leon thinks he can solve things from within, and how we know he in the end fails in eradicating the corruption. but we have omniscient knowledge of how things will turn out in the next fifteen years, while none of the characters do, at that point. he has a reasonable chance to weed the corruption out and he takes it, and if it doesn't work out in the end it doesn't mean he made a bad call. it just means things turned out a lot more complicated and difficult than there was reason to believe.

also we don't know how Claire's solution to the situation would've worked out. sure people would've learned about the BOWs sooner and there would've probably been public uproar about it. but the actual corrupt politicians? aside from the ONE person named in the files the rest would've gone underground, would've set up alibis, would've paid off whoever they needed to pay off and continued their corrupt bullshit but now even deeper underground and even more difficult to counter. it would've had positives, sure, but bringing it out in the open wouldn't mean it's now solved forever. it's like... when you try to stop the criminals from using the internet they go deeper into darknet and like. the problem might go out of sight but it doesn't go away.

AND i think people tend to forget that ID is literally something that takes place before re5, re6, damnation and vendetta, and so forth... we see the corruption and how shitty the world is in those installments. having a clear-cut solution that would've made everything better? that was never in the cards. they can't afford to fix everything because that'd throw all of the following canon in the trash.

what pisses me off, personally, is how people see everything so polarized because honestly, this conflict was not a case of one being in the right and the other being in the wrong. this was a conflict where two different people had different outlooks on the situation. both have a point. neither is infallible. because c'mon. that's not how the world works.

also there's better meta about this out there than I could ever manage to ramble lol, but i think it's interesting what you said about Claire not thinking that far ahead because it really kind of tracks with her characterization! both the Redfields are the kind of people who need to act to make things better, they will fight anything and anyone if they believe it's the right thing to do. but they are spontaneous and get easily caught up in it and thinking very far ahead might be one of their weak points, on some level at least. they're the kind of people who attack the problem head on, and sometimes the long term effects might get lost in the moment.

but I ramble, I'll shut up now before this'll become even more incoherent :'D

#re answers #ask and i shall answer #infinite darkness

[a-non-ymouswriter]

Owl anon

Okay I think I can attempt to answer with what Wilbur would think of Theo/Toby, because I spend a lot of time analyzing my guy, c!Wilbur, and this is c!Wilbur we are talking about.

So, first and foremost, we gotta remember a thing: Wilbur lies. My dude lies, that oath is bullshit lol. Second, he is conflicted. He has a fucked up black and white view of the world where he is the bad guy.

We know that in canon Wilbur's first urge was that he was gonna gut Dream for what he did to Tommy. He doesn't know everything that happened in Exile, but everything he saw made him decide "oh hell nah" as a default response.

The reason he views Dream as the hero: he literally saved him from Hell. If it was, say, idk, Phil or Tommy or anyone else that would have saved him, Dream wouldn't have been his hero anymore. Also, Wilbur doesn't know why Dream got locked up in Pandora. He thinks that it's because Dream didn't let people fill in the power vacuum left by him.

So, that makes me and other theorists see Wilbur in canon as a ticking time bomb. He has conflicting views on Dream, and, as he'll learn new info by himself, his opinion may change, meaning that it could be he could work with Dream, then decide to deck him because it's not worth it. He hurt people he cared about and he will continously. Of course, we gotta see what will happen, but yeah.

So, that could mean Wilbur may leave Dream behind in Rewind. On one hand, this is not the Dream that did shit to Theo, on the other, he saw the same abuse Theo went through. It may be uncomfortable enough to force that decision onto which opinion he settles on.

Wilbur may actually leave Dream to fuck off with Theo, because he has a new lease on life, and go back to Tommy.

Why Tommy? Well, this is where I give insight as a person with paranoid thoughts: so Wilbur had a paranoid spiral in Pogtopia, and the one person he latched on and continues to in canon is Tommy. Tommy has been a constant in his life, and he trusts him. Not fully, as he still hides things from him, but enough so he doesn't worry about Tommy fucking him over, and he wants to protect him. Wilbur is scared of being alone, man.

So trust is important, and Wilbur, I think, would latch onto Tommy even in this scenario, after seeing how changed Theo is. Wilbur may try to rope Tommy into various shenanigans. Which brings us to Toby.

So, Wilbur never really disliked Tubbo, as far as I remember. The spy thing was honestly tame and I thought myself Tubbo was a spy in Pogtopia, but, by Wilbur's reaction to the execution, you can tell he cared about the kid, man. He didn't want him hurt.

I would say his view of Tubbo is neutral/positive. Toby, on the other hand... Toby is Tubbo with much more experience and trauma. Wilbur may be closed off to him, as this is an entire different person and he wasn't that open to Tubbo to begin with. I could see him try to get Tommy away from Toby, out of fear of being left behind, or, paranoia that Toby may hurt Tommy because of the scar Theo has or something. I mean, he made in canon a sword to take and go at Quackity if he was hurting Tommy.

Toby and Wilbur interacting would definetely be interesting, because I feel that in canon meets rewind deadass that could be how Wilbur gets redeemed? Like, in canon we have inklings that show that Big Q is how Wilbur may open up, but in this scenario, because of some common things, it may come up at one point?

Though of course then there's the question of what Wilbur wants to do with his new lease in life in this timeline because in canon Wilbur is looking for a purpose. He's taking a backseat and kinda wants to help out, but not be in charge (aka why he wanted to join Las Nevadas, then decided to fight the status quo by becoming competition).

That's all I can say on this so far. It's a word salad and long but eh.

interesting, interesting. i liked the word salad so dw about that

with this information i definitely could see toby cautiously confronting wilbur about everything and becoming someone wilbur could talk to- toby won't bullshit him and will be blunt to his face, and he won't take any bullshit from wilbur and will wave off most of his manipulations. i say most because i know that specific ones will still set him off or at least make him angry but yeah i can see the wilbur redemption arc coming in.

if given time to talk and the both of them having mostly clear objectives on the table (mostly caring tommy ofc) then toby would be less... i forget the word, but he'd let wilbur interact with tommy more often, he'd still be cautious and wary and if wilbur makes tommy upset then he'll still do something about it but probably with less violence and just more smacking sense and shit into wilbur.

also it'd be advantageous for toby to gain wilbur's alliance and help when it comes to theo and dream themselves. dream might not be the same here, but he's hell of a lot more broken and possibly more unstable thanks to quackity. that's not good for theo, who was already heavily codependent with dream before. it's rough to say just how the two of the broken masked men will fair together.

#anon ask #owl anon #thank you so much owl anon #now i know who to go for for wilbur if i need anything :D #rewind meets canon

[pernicious-pastas]

Villain, Chapter Two

Pairings - Masky/Tim x You

Word count - 1260 words

Chapter Summary - Tim, Brian, and Y/n walk through the forest to get back to their shared cabin used after missions. Y/n and Brian chit-chat before a more serious conversation after a few rounds of adult juice. (Alternate Title: Was Tim listening to the convo in the woods?)

Warnings for chapter - Language, drinking, mutual conflict between Tim and y/n.

Notes - Pastas mentioned are Toby, Sally, clockwork (Natalie), and Jaime! Jaime is an oc of mine which you can look at here: XXX. Please note the y/n is over 21 and can legally drink. Also i’m working on starting an AO3, so look out for that linked in the next chapter :D

Previous Chapter: XXX

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Calling the walk back through the woods a “terrible fucking idea” would be an understatement. Never understanding why those two hard-asses didn’t just steal a car or two will always be in the forefront of your mind when finishing a mission. But hey, at least you had Brian to keep you occupied during your walks.

“Can’t we just make a portal to the cabin and call it a day?” You groaned, shuddering against the freezing wind that danced around you. Brian’s footsteps walked next to yours in the almost frozen ground around you. “Unfortunately for us, we lost the ability to make portals when Jeffery started making portals from his bedroom to the communal kitchen,” he said, his voice was gruff and clear when not muffed by his voice changer. You chuckled a bit before your expression soured, remembering what Jeff’s actions cost your tiring legs. Brian noticed your slight change in demeanor and decided to change the topic to distract your mind. “Hey, I’m sure we’re close. And I've been meaning to talk to you about something, Well two things.”

Your face puzzled before you gave him a reassuring look, letting him go on. He turned back to look at Tim to gauge if he'd be able to hear the conversation in question, after a few seconds Brian turned to you again, lowering his voice. “Do you ever wish you never accepted Slender’s offer? Like, do you ever wonder what would’ve happened if you said no, or if you never got wrapped up in this in the first place?” You paused and thought for a second before giving him your answer, you never really thought about that before.

“Honestly? I’d probably still be stuck in my hometown. I think I’m glad I took this job in a way. Although the cons definitely outweigh the pros most of the time.” You chuckled, thinking back on your home life before stopping yourself, knowing the pain it would bring you.  Your life before becoming a proxy wasn’t all that glamorous, but thinking about the people you left behind and what you could've been always left an indecent taste in your mouth.

 “Cons?” Brian quizzed, hoping for an elaboration. You sighed and watched the breath turn into fog in front of you. “Well y’know, if I knew I would have interacted with some unsavory people I don’t think I’d take the job.” You joked. Hopefully, Tim didn’t hear that. You sunk into your jacket, hoping to bring a little more warmth to you. “Speaking about a certain unsavory coworker of ours,” You turned to peak at Tim for a final time before continuing. It looks like he wasn’t paying attention and was too far behind to even hear anyway, so you let yourself go on. “Has Tim always been this mean to previous co-workers? Like, that Toby guy that’s been on that year’s long mission, was Tim a dick to him?” You sighed, you didn’t know why this bothered you, But the tension continues to fuck with you nonetheless. 

Brian stops for a quick rest, and you follow suit. “I guess he's always been kinda brash to people he doesn’t know, but never this bad and for this long.” He said. Your thoughts filled up the silence that had settled between you two. You’ve been here for, what? Almost three years and Tim still couldn’t get a grasp on the fact that he had to work with you. You huffed in annoyance. Brian watched you and decided to speak up again. “Why does it even bother you if you hate him the exact same?” You spit on the forest ground and glared at Tim, even though he probably couldn’t hear a damn thing you said. “It doesn’t.”

*time skip to the later in the cabin*

“Brian… We’re friends, right?” You asked, a drunken tint flushed your cheeks as you spoke. The scenery was nice, two pals sharing drinks around a lit fire. The sun was long gone by now, the fire contrasted the harsh night air as it enveloped you in warmth- Something you could get behind in your hazy state.

He thought for a moment before taking a swig from his bottle and turning to face you. “I’d think so, We’d practically have to be if we’re working in this type of occupation. The more people to keep you sane, the better.” You nodded your head while he continued. “This kinda loops back to what I wanted to talk to you about a couple of hours ago. Well, before we started talking about Tim.” He said, you thought back about your previous conversations and eventually pinpointed it to the walk in the woods. “About our pasts and junk?” You asked. He kicked off the dirt from his boot into the blasting fire. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually, I’ve been so focused on being the Always-in-Line, harsh, perfect proxy that I’ve almost forgotten myself.” You slowly nodded your head. Hey, you kind of felt the same in a sense. You cringed thinking back to your previous memories.

“I don’t know Brian, the Boss always enforces that we push away the past and focus on our new responsibility at hand,” You paused. “Still, I get it. The tapes bothering you again?” He nodded before you heard a loud whack of a door slamming into the cabin’s exterior walls. You slowly shifted your eyes to the cause of the noise, and they settled on Tim. You shifted in your chair in fake-annoyance. Too drunk to care if he was with you two or not. “The past is the past, Hoodie. Get over it.” Tim scowled at the two of you before lighting a cigarette.  Tim walked over to the burning fire and crouched, He sucked in while he studied the flames, His eyes almost matched the fires bellowing rage before he closes them, blowing out his smoke into the already roaring fire. What a fucking weirdo, you thought. 

“Evening, Masky.” Brian said. his boot still on the fireplace’s edge, almost directly across Tim’s face. Tim got up and took another drag and turned to you. “Now I’ve been wondering Y/n, how far you would go with a little booze in you.” Tim condescended, a smirk on his face and he eyed you. You rolled your eyes and got up, “Enough of the bullshit, Tim. You wanna be an asshole? Fine by me. I’m done with whatever game you’ve been trying to make me play.” You stormed into the house, your outburst leaving both the men in silence. 

As you less-than-gracefully wobbled to your dark room. You undressed and changed into comfy clothing before retreating under your covers. Memories hung up on the walls around you. Pictures of you and your killer friends smiled down at you, the handmade bracelets Sally had gifted you sat on your nightstand. Dirty band tees Natalie and Jaime had once fondly given you on your previous birthday laid on the floor, ready to be washed and worn again. Small trinkets of your favorite interests decorated the room. Traces of you and your life swirled around your cold room, you thought about the previous conversation you had with Brian. Maybe it was the booze, or maybe Tim decided to finally crank up the heat, but you felt warm inside when thought about the people you met through this hellish job. Forgetting about all the anger you have for certain coworkers of yours, you sunk further into bed.

You grinned to yourself in the dark and shut your eyes, ready for bed. “I’d never regret accepting Slender’s offer.” You whispered slowly, letting yourself succumb to the night’s rest that eagerly awaited you.

___

likes, comments, and reblogs appreciated !! feedback through the ask box welcomed (won’t give out future chapter info though hehe)

#masky x reader #masky x you #tim wright x reader #creepypasta fanfiction #tim wright x you

[anika-ann]

What I’d Never Say or Do (Had I Been in My Right Mind) - Pt.1

We Both Break Free (…if We Make It on Top)

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2, part 3)  

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader    Word count (Ch1): 2050

Series summary: A story in which you officially come back from the dead, Tony with Natasha decide to take the blame for the whole mess and organize a party with unexpected party crashers and Bucky should consider thinking before speaking.

Fic title applicable to Tony, Natasha, Steve and his soulmate (aka the Reader), Bucky and his sort-of-buddy Matt Murdock and possibly few more.

Ch.1 summary.: In which Natasha and Tony go mad.

A/N: This series will be just a smaller thing, snippets set around The Age of Ultron (and later, Endgame). Later will be referred to as WINSoD because the title is a monster.

Warnings (ch1): mention of death and resurrection, mention of superntural creatures (see Errare Humanum Est), language, fluff

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Tony Stark was a ridiculously theatrical person.

While that was no news to anyone who knew as much as his name at least, but he still managed to outlive the legend, the reputation that preceded him.

He left you standing by the door, walked in to gain the undivided attention of the person inside the office and wanted you to reveal yourself in the exact right moment – a moment he trusted you to recognize.

Well. You assumed with a revelation like yours, it was rather hard to keep the drama away. But leave it to Tony Stark that he would blow it to proportion just to have fun.

“Tamara, darling!” the billionaire howled, the door opened only for a crack, so you could hear the reaction. You rolled your eyes, sighed and nervously looked around. The department was empty safe for the woman in the office, but it still made you feel uneasy; probably the effect of having to hide for the past weeks to avoid detection that could lead to a major scandal.

“Oh god, what happened?” Tamara asked, sounding as horrified as annoyed.

“Why do you assume— okay, that’s fair. How’s you hubby doing?”

“Alright,” the poor woman answered, clearly suspicious. “I more or less cleaned up the latest mess, so I’ve been coming home early…”

“Yeeeeah, about that. I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?” Tony offered cheerily.

“Bad news. Always. Let me just sit down-- no, no, don’t let me sit down, I have a feeling I’ll wanna pace irritably.”

That caused the corners of your lips to turn up. You were starting to like this woman already.

“I’m gonna need you to deal with a major scandal worthy of your skills.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere and I assumed as much.” Now you officially loved her – and you saw why Tony did too. Sass and snark; Tony’s language. “So, care to elaborate?”

“Nah, I’ll give you the good news. You’re gonna get some help. I brought reinforcements. She doesn’t have much experience with PR-” Try none. “-but I’m pretty sure she’ll be the one all the questions will be aimed at.”

“Oh my god, Anthony, did you get a woman pregnant?!” the woman hissed, not bothering lowering her voice. She sounded… kinda pissed. Which was reasonable, given the fact Tony Stark was happily-not-single with one amazing Pepper Potts.

“What? No! I have Pepper!” he opposed her, having the nerve to be offended. You smirked, hoping Jarvis caught that one line too. “This is all on Capsicle-“

“Captain Rogers got a woman pregnant?! What the-“

You felt like this was the moment.

“No, Mrs…. Tamara,” you said it the end, realizing Tony never told you the poor woman’s last name, and entered the room. “But his soulmate sort of came back from the death.”

Tamara was a middle-aged woman, with blonde medium-length hair and huge majestic glasses, business suit in a bloody-red colour and lips perfectly shaped in an “O” as you demonstrated the problem at hand.

“Holy. Shit.”

Leave it to Tony Stark he would flee the moment an actual explanation was needed, letting the others deal with the aftermath of his dramatic tendencies. To be fair, this was more of your drama, so…

“Good. Looks like introductions are not needed. I’ll send you the necessary data. Have fun.”

He strode through the door, winking over his shoulder at you and sending an air kiss to Tamara and you nervously smiled at the woman, your awkward side showing when you raised your hand to a reluctant wave before you could realize a handshake would be more appropriate.

“Uhm. Hi…”

The blonde blinked several times, shook her head with an incredulous chuckle and stuck out her hand.

“Hi. I’m Tamara, Antony Stark’s cleaning service. What can I do for you?”

Oh yeah. You’d get along just fine.

…

The story was simple and yet enough to make at least two Avengers very much hated.

Tony and Natasha, perhaps from some residual guilt of which you weren’t sure where was coming from, were determined to be thrown to the wolves of public.

Apparently, it had been all their idea – to have Steve and you kidnapped in the first place by the bomb enthusiast psycho. They had caught something fishy, been aware of it for a long time and opted for drawing the something rotten within SHIELD and company out by leaking early info on where you and Steve would be going to dates for several nights in a row without your or Steve’s knowledge. Perfect bait with nearly perfect surveillance background and safety measures.

Predictably, it had gone to shit and while you had never been blown up to death, which was something Steve had had zero clue about, you had been recovering from your life-threatening injuries for weeks in a hidden facility of top-secret location with way too much security. Still without Captain America’s knowledge.

Admittedly, this tale was a PR nightmare in making, not to mention a complete bullshit. Yet, the Avengers (sans Steve so far) unanimously approved of it. Tony and Natasha would be the first to blame, while the rest would reluctantly admit they knew as well and they had all kept it from Steve.

“You can’t be serious,” was all you managed to come up with, Steve sitting on the couch next to you while the rest of the team, the part that was momentarily on Earth, gathered around you to break you the news. This was what they came up with? “People will hate you.”

“And their hearts would still bleed for their golden boy, who would forgive us in time, especially since we offered his girl a job and an apartment she can’t quite refuse.”

“Wait, what kind of a job?!” Steve snapped, waking up from the deep thoughts he had fallen into with this stupid talk.

“The non-dangerous kind, Steve, calm down, please,” Natasha cooled him off flatly, but you could see her sincere gaze when it met with Steve’s. We wouldn’t endanger her, not again, it whispered. Steve’s shoulders slumped.

“What kind of a job?” you echoed, still worried. You assumed the apartment Tony mentioned was a place in the Tower, not bothering to ask about that part.

“PR. Unless you want to deal with your old job of which I have no doubt your best buddy would give back. I’d just like to remind you how the public reacted to you dying.”

Right. You wouldn’t mind a little privacy and safe space. You liked your old job, but it didn’t seem like an option now. Except… this was crazy.

“But they will still hate you. It makes you guys terrible friends and teammates. Frankly, it makes you kind of… terrible people,” you said slowly, taking time to examine everyone’s face.

“She’s got a point,” Steve agreed, wheels in his head clearly turning in a lightning speed.

“Meh. You should know what Fury’s up to during his ‘the end justifies the means’ periods – which is non-stop. I wouldn’t worry about that,” Natasha shrugged it off, pursing her lips a bit.

“Wasn’t it you who said you weren’t sure how to get her back to the world without having to explain she was literally led by an angel from Heaven?” Clint reacted to Steve, who sighed.

“Yes, of course, but this-“

“-is perfectly believable,” Natasha interrupted him, raising an eyebrow before beckoning to Tony and herself. “Me and Tony came up with the operation – a spy and a billionaire with questionable conscience. We pulled the rest of the team into the charade. This can work.”

“I can’t say I’ll enjoy this,” Bruce entered the conversation for the first time, surprising everyone. “However, it will allow you to walk the streets freely – with uncomfortable questions, yes, but it is a reasonable deal for us.”

“Steve? Thoughts?” the spy turned to him again.

Your soulmate observed his team for a long time, just like you, watching each of them individually, trying to read them as he himself was conflicted and undecisive. Finally, his eyes settled on you, a hint of an encouraging smile on his lips.

“Doll? How do you feel about that?”

The softness of his voice, the actual freedom he gave you when it came to this decision warmed your heart and made you shudder at the same time. You had no doubt he had come to a decision; but the final step was on you and you only. He would be affected too, of course, but this was your life that could turn upside down for like… what, the third time since you had met him?

You worried your teeth over your lower lip. “I mean… I’d really appreciate not having to hide in here all the time, but… I don’t want people to hate you, guys. I feel like I caused enough problems-“

“No, doll,” Steve whispered, his hand covering yours and squeezing firmly as he locked his gaze with yours and didn’t let go. “I’m not asking about them. I’m asking about you. They are clearly willing to do this.”

“Are you?” you questioned despite being confident about his answer.

“Do I love you?”

That caught you off guard. “Huh? That’s not what I-…?”

What did that even mean? Did he love— come again? How was this about his feelings towards you all of sudden? Was it time to question them? God, you hoped NOT.

“That the newest version of asking whether the sky is blue, doll,” he explained with a lop-sided smile and you released a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding.

Idiot. Sap. Sweet-talker.

“You’re such a sap.”

“You love it,” he hummed confidently. You smiled despite your better judgement. You loved him. And yeah, you loved this silliness too.

“I do.”

“So… are we doing this? Together?” His smiled grew a little wider, the twinkle you adored appearing in his eyes and you couldn’t but squeeze his hand back.

“Yeah. Together.”

“Jarvis, send Dum-E with some insulin shots,” Tony cleared his throat and you felt your cheek dust with a blush, roughly pulled out of the haze Steve managed to put you in once again. “We’re all having unhealthy sugar rush.”

The captain rolled his eyes. “Har, har, Stark. Are you guys really okay with this?”

Clint huffed. “It’s not like people will start planning our assassination more than they do already.”

“Tamara might,” Natasha opposed, amused.

“Ah, poor Tamara, I better bring a wine with me when asking…” Tony mused, scratching his goatee.

You turned to the red-head spy, not happy about being out of the loop.

“Who’s Tamara?”

Tamara, the head of the PR department for Tony (and sometimes for the Avengers too, because those two clients, so to speak, often came as a package deal), was currently starring at you speechless when you told her the tale of what actually happened and what lie they had decided to feed the public.

The silence lasted long enough for you to start worrying.

“Are you alri-“

“Angels are real?!” she burst out, nearly making you jump out of your skin with the sudden exclaim. You placed your palm over your chest to keep your racing heart inside your ribcage.

“…yes. But so are demons, shapeshifters, witches and so on, so…”

“Not a good thing to go public with. Got it. I understand the cover-up now. Though people being able to be resurrected would be enough on its own even without the… creatures. My my… we have a lot of work to do.”

“I’d imagine,” you agreed, not having a clue how to do this and where to start.

The woman looked at you over the rim of her glasses, her smile kind, in the Stark contrast to her loud cry only few second ago.

“…you don’t have any experience with PR at all, do you?”

“Nope,” you admitted, accenting the P and looking away, ashamed that Tony threw you into this without giving you anything helpful.

Now Tamara had to deal with the scandal and with you trying to help. That woman was worthy of some serious pay raise (though you had no doubt Tony paid her enough for her to own a villa or something, exactly as much as she deserved for dealing with his shit).

“I’m gonna kill Anthony, I swear…. Okay,  let’s get this shit on the road. Also, Jarvis? Tell Antony to get the freakin’ wine ASAP.”

Oh yeah. You would actually adore Tamara, you were sure of it.

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Part 2

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Here we go! The final part of the series. Admittedly, I’m not sure about quality of this thing, but I’m trying.

Chapter titles are taken from the chorus of Les Friction’s What You Need

Thank you for reading ♥

(I’ll be tagging my Errare Humanum Est taggies, if you don’t want ot be taggged anymore, let me know)

#fanfiction #marvel #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers soulmate #soulmate au #mcu #steve rogers #steve rogers x you #steve rogers imagine #captain america x you #captain america x reader #captain america #captain america imagine #captain america soulmate #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #avengers #what I'd never say or do #winsod #anika ann

[opalescent-analysis]

“->in my next post, I want to tackle the visual language, discuss the lens i’m using to interpret Utena, and talk a bit more about why i think the movie and the show have to be taken as parts of a whole.”

Let’s unpack that a bit more, shall we? Utena uses a lot of layers of metaphor and surrealism in order to tell what’s honestly a *really* dark story, and do it in a way that’s both age-acceptable and entertaining. That’s a hell of a needle to thread.

Strip away all the swordfights, roses, and surrealism, boil the story down to the bare essentials, you have a story about these kids who are trying to grow up, this adult who’s manipulating them, and an examination of the gender roles and power structures that underpin the whole sick system. But to turn that into something that’s actually fun to watch requires a really indirect approach, hence the heavy use of metaphor. There’s also the matter of network censorship, even more of a problem in the mid 90’s than today, which is something the tv show had to work around more than the movie.

    Which brings me to the movie. The abstraction is dialled up to 11 and it looks trippy as hell, (and lets the animation team flex, hot damn) but in a lot of ways it’s more direct and realistic about some things than the show. Being able to depict an on-screen kiss between Utena and Anthy, for example, which, HEART EYES. It’s also a lot more…. Visually blunt about the specifics of how Akio abuses Anthy (without being gross about it; i think it’s tastefully handled) which the show really had to dance around. Anthy’s a bit hypersexual, in the way that folks who’ve had sexual trauma can often get like, which really rings true. We get some info about Touga’s backstory that fills in so much about him that was left unexplained in the show; more on that when i get around to writing my thoughts on each individual character.

    This is just like, a brief overview of why i view the movie and show as two halves of a whole; they’re telling the same story in 2 different ways, and the movie gets to dig into stuff that the anime wasn’t able to, for various reasons.

Now time to get a bit more specific about the visual metaphors, in no particular order.

The School - the child’s world, with rigid roles, and enforced conformity to the norm, but it’s what everyone around you is doing, so it’s “normal”. Notable that all the authority figures besides Acting-Chairman Akio in Ohtorhi (sp?) Academy are either narrow-minded (the teacher who’s always hassling Utena about wearing the wrong-gendered uniform), self-involved (the greasy, social climbing principle), corrupt (the chairman’s wife) or absent (the actual chairman). None o fthem give two shits about connecting with the students, or protecting them from predators (the music teacher is implied to be trying to perv on an innocent Mickey (sp?), and is stopped by miki’s protective twin sister, not an adult). 

The Castle in the Sky - upside-down, foreshadowing that’s it’s an illusion, fake, not real. Less clear in the show and more clear in the movie, it’s a child’s dream of what adulthood is like, “you can have anything you want, you can even have eternity” and you can stay up all night and have ice cream for supper and no one can tell you what to do…. You get the drift.

Roses - beautiful lies, hiding thorns. You go to grab a lovely-looking rose and get pricked. The Princess and Prince roles, the heroic ideals, are lovely-seeming. They are not actually nourishing. Also, the black frame with coloured roses in the corners is used to help emphasize important moments and hammer home some of the colour-theme stuff, like getting us to associate Nanami with the colour yellow from pretty early on, often framing Utena with a white rose to denote her purity, that kinda thing.

The duels - childish conflicts solved with childish methods. Teenagers doing some “meet me at the baskeball court after school for a fight” bullshit, and also reminiscent of old childish play-pretend games. That said, the way Utena starts by pulling the sword out of Anthy’s heart (the Sword of Dios, the flawed ideal of the prince) and eventually changes to Anthy pulling a new sword out of Utena’s heart, which would be really beautiful, if it wasn’t for all the freaking flashing lights during these sequences.

THE CAR IS ADULTHOOD - the agency that you have as an adult, a thing you can’t do when you’re a kid; Akio in the show just drives his car around and around the same old boring track while he’s fucking with teenagers’ lives, but Anthy and Utena drive away from the school, out of the child’s world, at the end of the movie. I LIKED Utena turning into a car in the movie, and I thought it made sense. YES, REALLY.

Cabbage Moths - nope, they’re not butterflies, they’re cabbage moths; parasitic insects that can destroy a whole crop. The movie especially is really heavy handed with this one; Touga and Shiori are in bed scheming, which leads to a flashback of Touga’s childhood, where his “adoptive father” rapes him in a cabbage field. Moths erupt from the cabbages, and the ruined crop is a metaphor for Touga’s ruined life, destroyed by a human parasite. Shiori’s trippy ‘turning into a butterfly’ thing is reminding us that she might be pretty, but she’s a crappy person. 

The Prince - the ideal that Utena is striving towards, the image that Touga embodies (and is destroyed by, on multiple levels); Akio appears to be a princely figure, until we learn more about him, and Dios, supposedly the perfect prince, turns out to be unreachable and non-existent. 

Next time: Nanami and Touga as foils for Anthy and Akio, the way sick systems perpetuate themselves, and why I love Anthy and Nanami’s rivalry

#utena #rgu #revolutionary girl utena #adolescence of utena #no proofreading we die like men

[treestargarden]

episode 4, “colorful girls” analysis

tw: child sexual abuse

this episode does not hold back. 

first of all, momo is ace and non-binary. no i won’t be elaborating. 

wonder killers’ dialogue:

next, the wonder killers absolutely say things that were important to the wonder girls’ irl trauma. this is from miwa’s wonder killer. she just had a conversation with momo where she revealed the hurtful things her mother said to her, like “why couldn’t you just take it” or “take it as a compliment, it means you’re cute.” it’s quite possible with this dialogue, that these were also things her abuser said to her quite often to make her believe simply by existing she was “asking for it.” 

wonder eggs’ inner strengths: 

its also possible that the wonder killers are... combinations of the wonder girls’ sources of trauma and not just 1 manifestation of 1 person, but rather all of the people connected to the trauma. 

in response, miwa says this:

and added on “you got married, because you love each other” in the first few minutes of meeting her, i was not expecting this. up to this point, we have met a lot of wonder girls who are tired, exhausted, sad, lonely (excluding the 2 girls that ai and rika are trying to save right now). but, given the fact that she was vocal about her abuse, i’m certain this is exactly how miwa would respond in this situation.

even more poignant, is the fact momo simply listened to miwa’s protest while they were fighting the wonder killer. they agreed with her. i find it fascinating. i’m not sure what to do with this info yet, but i already like momo (partly bc i /know/ they’re non-binary, like... that’s a genderfuck if i ever saw one). 

this next part really grabbed my attention, juxtaposed with miko and mako’s kill-assist. these girls are definitely not meant to seem helpless or meek or powerless. i really like that this show so far has been capturing the complexity of a “survivor’s” strength (again, quotes, because these girls are technically dead, but i don’t want to use the term “victim” because it implies they have no power). 

they recognize when someone else is in need of help and they easily flip the switch from saved to savior. i’m in love with these girls so far. their characterization is complex, intriguing, and realistic at this point. 

specifically with miwa, her “surrender” is not my interpretation at all. she specifically recognized that she did have some power in this situation to help momo, just as miko and mako had some power to assist ai. their approaches are entirely different, but that doesn’t make their courage, or the strength, wrong. i’m not angry at this characterization of miwa AT ALL. sometimes, the best way to avoid worse punishment is to give in, its just the fuckin reality of abuse. but it neither makes her weak, nor does it make the writers apologists. 

they /specifically/ juxtaposed the girls because they wanted to show that they had different strengths for different reasons and that neither were entirely powerless. they did the best they could in this situation. 

shit i love momo:

also, if you have read this far, this is why i think momo is non-binary: 

i have a few... thoughts about momo’s trauma specifically that may relate to momo being non-binary.

1) momo’s wonder eggs r rape “survivors.” if my theory that the wonder eggs directly relate to the irl peoples trauma, then it would be plausible that momo’s trauma is some form of sexual trauma.

2) continuing with the sexual trauma thread, and also including momo’s flashback, it’s quite possible between them and now, that momo’s trauma occurred between these 2 points in time. this is inferred by the obvious change in appearance.

3) what could have “caused” (this isn’t to blame momo’s trauma on momo, but it’s the closest word i could think of on the spot for trading out my theories) momo’s trauma?

i have a few ideas: momo has the face of a boy, but used to wear girls clothing and sometimes momos voice fluctuates from sounding like a boy to sounding like a girl. momo could have been correctively raped either for being perceived as a femboy, trans woman, or a dyke.

additionally the corrective rape could have happened /after/ momo started wearing boys clothes and someone would have taken notice that momo sounded like a girl but looked boyish.

in either case, momo confessed to an unnamed second girl that wearing boys clothes is “simpler.” even if momo doesn’t necessarily like it, it seems momo feels forced to present as a boy. at this point, it can then be inferred the boys clothing is probably a coping mechanism to deal with the trauma (and now i feel that the issue happened when momo still dressed/presented as a girl).

HOWEVER, not once does momo ever explicitly say momo is a girl, feels like a girl, wishes momo was a girl. only momo’s presentation has been discussed at this point. in the screen shots i provided above, i feel like most people would say “i /am/ a girl.” i think that momo at least identifies with girlhood, but i don’t think momo is attached to the identity of “girl.”

and momo is ace/aro because all of these relationships we see momo in are very one-sided. when miwa tells momo she loves momo, momo replies with “thank you.” and when miwa asks if they can continue cuddling “until i disappear” we get a closeup on momo who looks forlorn and thoughtful, who simply says “sure.” a lot of momo’s interactions with girls giving momo sexual/romantic attraction feel empty.

on the other hand, we see momo’s interactions with the other 3 main characters at the end of this chapter as very emotional, light. it’s probably the /most/ lighthearted we have seen momo. momo is not getting unwanted attention—they’re all just gossiping and laughing.

when we see momo’s flashbacks with haruka, we notice that haruka hugs momo but momo does not reciprocate the touching.

again, these are just threads that im seeing and excitedly pull apart, some of my theories are half baked until i have more information. but for me it’s plainly obvious that momo is an ace non-binary person. i know the fandom has been... having heated discourse about “what is momo /really/.” and for some reason this is controversial? really weird to me.

it’s a complex issue because gender is complex. for those of you that are binary, remember that you feel very knowledgeable about your own gender, but being non-binary is an absolutely different experience all together. we aren’t some “third gender” bullshit. and i’m quite enjoying seeing binary folks be confused about momo because that’s what being non-binary feels like. i wake up every day wondering what today’s gender will be. welcome to my fuckin life.

neiru:

i find it fascinating her personality has taken a complete 180 turn regarding ai. if we remember, in the beginning of their relationship, neiru was specific that ai could only contact her if she wished to change who buys eggs when. but once neiru was admitted to the hospital, ai started texting and visiting her throughout her healing period.

initially i thought this was more of a “keep your friends closer, your enemies closer” scenario, but then i went back to the episode 2 ending: 

at first, neiru forbade ai from texting her other than to make egg-buying arrangements. but neiru texted ai back with a thumbs up emoji. she isn’t being incredibly open, but given the development of her character so far, i think this is definitely her way of showing ai she trusts her and that neiru is opening up to her. 

settings:

so at this point, its pretty obvious that the location of the main characters’ worlds are always the same and they are specifically tied to their links’ places of death. 

neiru: unknown

ai: school

rika: gardens

momo: subway

from the other information we have gathered, its probably likely all of the links have died by suicide. 

neiru: unknown. however, we do know that neiru claims she could have stopped it. 

ai: a story of child sexual abuse/bullying. i’m not sure if koiko committed suicide because she was being molested or because of the bullying, but it could also be a combination of the 2

rika: rejection/fatphobia/eating disorder. chiemi committed suicide because of rika’s rejection based on fatphobia. chieme probably developed an eating disorder, evidenced by rika re-telling ai the day she visited chiemi’s funeral “she was skin and bones”. 

momo: rejection/unknown. haruka expressed attraction to momo. it seems momo may have rejected that love and haruka felt suicide was the best way to resolve her inner conflict. 

faults:

hmm at the same time, there are some hang-ups i have about this episode. a lot of these girls are so... love-starved, that even when a character shows the slightest bit of tenderness for them, they are quick to say “i love you!” miwa told momo she loved him, “even if i’ve only known you for a day” and this was juxtaposed by miko and mako telling rika and ai they loved them, too. there is something to be said about the attachment issues some of the wonder girls may have to people who help them resolve their trauma/healing. 

extra:

#wonder egg priority #momoe sawaki #neiru #ai ohto #rika kawai #miko and mako #chiemi #haruka #koito

[somestansomewhere]

Shameless - Dysfunctional Family Roles

When taking a closer look at the Gallagher family there becomes a clear semblance of character traits used to build the dynamics between family members. More times than not, there is a specific pattern in “neurotic storytelling” used to explore families that deal with addiction and poverty. When you look at the character of Frank, it is extremely obvious that he represents “The Addict” within the family. Frank is the one that often causes the most conflict for the family, making him the catalyst for his children to fill the following roles:

Fiona’s role of “The Caretaker” is another that was strikingly obvious to me. It is due to Frank’s neglect and narcissism that she then becomes the one to take on all of his responsibilities in order to keep the family functioning. As a child she wants to make Frank happy, and as seen in S1E1 she wants him to acknowledge her for all that she has done for him and be proud of her. However, when we look at her character arc in S4 this becomes much more obvious. In her relationship with Mike, we see how attracted to chaos she really is. Fiona likes to solve other people’s (Frank’s) problems. She gets bored and thus cheats on him with Robbie as a way to reinsert herself into a problem to solve. This happens throughout the series as she needs adventure in order to “feel needed”, (also stated in the Pilot). She is drawn to Sean because of his addiction. She goes into Ian’s lawyer meeting in S9 when he requested her not to.

Lip at first struck me as “The Hero” but ultimately I feel as if he is “The Scapegoat” in the family. He has all the wisdom and potential to “get out” of their situation but ruins all of his chances. He acts out for attention and is defiant, often participating in illegal scams. When Lip goes to college he instantly feels out of place, in his conversation with Helene in “Southside Rules” we see that he won’t rat out Kev because: “Southside Rules”. Part of the problem here is that he has an extreme amount of hostility towards Frank which is why Lip tries hard to not become like him and diverts all of his attention away from Frank. Lip develops his own alcohol addiction and ruins his chances at achieving any extreme goals. Lip also falls into the trap of a “trickster mentor”. Youens is arguably just like Frank. He is intelligent, but also a drunk, so Lip is drawn to him to be “the father he didn’t have”. This is why it hurts when us, as well as Lip, are let down by Youens in court, and when we learn Lip wasn’t the only student he catered to.

Now, I’d will to return to Ian in a bit and first talk about Debbie who takes on the role of “The Hero”. Debbie is extremely self sufficient and we see that in the later seasons she attempts to fix the dysfunctional home life. For example, in S9 she begins to do home renovations. And in S10, while she did act a lot like Frank, by getting debt cards for the family, and having a budget, along with a chore list, it shows that she is reaching for some form of normalcy to pull the family up. I personally think she appears to be doing this more for herself but, without Fiona she does try to be the one running he house. In earlier seasons she is over-responsible for her age and wants to be treated like adult, all while catering to Frank.

Carl to me is “The Mascot” to Frank. He is “the dumb one” and that is played for comedic relief. In the earlier seasons, Carl is the one that constantly helps Frank. The family roles are devised in relation to Frank, and Carl is one of the last kids to see him for what he really is. While Carl is violent he also has such love and compassion for his siblings, telling Debs not to wear white when she gets her period, taking care of Liam, and even though he really wanted to go to the West Point mixer in S9 he offered to stay home with Lip, when Lip was going through a tough time. Carl’s generosity and commitment/praise to Frank shows that he tries to lesson the burden that is Frank’s addiction, all while assisting Frank in his schemes.

Now, Ian and Liam share the same role of “The Lost Child”, but in different ways. Ian is the third kid in the first half of six, and Liam is the third child in the second half of six, so it makes sense. Ian is the middle kid (and also technically not Frank’s), who separates himself from the rest of his siblings. Ian’s story arcs have always been with outside characters to the family (with characters such as Mandy or Mickey). In S1E7 the family is faking Frank’s death, Ian is not a part of that plot line till the very end because once again, his His storylines are separate. He is on his own, being independent. When Monica returns in S1 the family deals with it together, however Ian runs to Mickey. Ian also searches for a purpose (like the military, EMT, gay Jesus) to strive for so that he won’t feel so lost. Ian is extremely goal oriented. Another point I would like to bring up is his relationship with Monica. She is “the runway” and he feels the same. Being bipolar also makes Ian feel isolated because he worries that his family will view him like Monica. He is the only one dealing with it as well and instead of wanting to change, he wants people to accept him for who he is. Liam on the other hand fills this role because in the later seasons he begins to fly under the family’s radar. He deals with the repercussions of all of his family member’s actions and is often roped into Frank’s bullshit scams even while growing up. Liam was “a prop” at first and now is all alone with much older siblings. In S10 Lip asks Liam where everyone is, and Liam says that he misses having everyone around. He is lonely.

Keep in mind that these are my opinions and if you have any thoughts or disagree, I’d love for you to send me an ASK so we can discuss it!! I Find this really interesting and if you do as well, look up “ Dysfunctional Family Dynamics”, loads of info will pop up! I have much more to say for specific characters (even Sammi who acts out in rebellion wanting boundaries in S5a) but this was just my “quick breakdown”. If you made it through this whole thing, you’re the best. Thank you! 💙

#shameless #Gallavich #fiona gallagher #ian gallagher #lip gallagher #debbie gallagher #carl gallagher #liam gallagher #frank gallagher #somestansomewhere