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rollercoasterwords · 2 years

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hi, i think i’m the anon from earlier more so meant the people looking up explicit mlm fics don’t see their own hypocrisy in complaining about lesbian fetishisation?

idk. as an mlm myself i think some marauders fics revolving around mlm relationships are heavily sexualised for authors that, yes are queer, but don’t identify as men. and there’s absolutely no problem with writing queer smut, i want to make that very clear. but it’s when it becomes something that is done in every chapter and so explicit despite the fact that the author would have never experienced that type of sexual relationship.

and these fics are more so consumed by women. again, no harm in that. but you have to ask why they’re specifically looking for explicit mlm fics.

i more so see this type of behaviour on tiktok, specifically regarding sweater weather (me and a lot of my mlm mutual found it very uncomfortable to read) and it’s a very popular fic.

anyways, i agree that queer sex shouldn’t be a taboo topic but i think there should be boundaries or lines (whether they be messy or not) drawn on who can consume that media. there’s no harm in explicit queer smut but i think it becomes problematic when it is written by and read by cis women.

men consuming lesbian smut and porn is uncomfortable and disgusting, i think the same opinions should be applied when women do the same to explicit gay media.

i also want to outline this is not an attack towards you or anyone else, it’s simply my opinion, i can be quite blunt in my delivery but i promise there’s no malice in this.

much love :)

hi! i appreciate the clarification and i appreciate the desire to engage in a conversation about this. i don't think you were too blunt or harsh, and i am also sending you much love! there's a lot to unpack here, so i'm gonna go ahead and respond as best i can, bearing in mind that i think our opinions on this topic might just differ.

so, this is me wading into the weeds on the fetishization conversation. my response is gonna get long and considering the nature of the topic i'm going to be talking about sex, so if that's something you don't want to see then just keep scrolling!

ok so before i even start this conversation, a few ground rules since this is a sensitive topic -

this is a conversation. i am not presenting my thoughts here with the intention of saying that i am absolutely 100% correct or that everyone needs to think the way i do. i am also not presenting my thoughts here with the intent of engaging in any sort of debate or argument. this is a subject on which my own thoughts have changed and could change again, and i value perspectives and opinions different from my own that challenge me to consider why i think the way i do. so if you've read this far - please only continue to read if you are capable of engaging with this post as a conversation. thanks!

i am only speaking about the marauders fandom here. everything i say is being said within that scope. that is because it is the only fandom space that i am plugged into. what i say here may not apply in other fandoms, and it may not apply to fanfiction as a whole in broad, sweeping terms. that is because i am only talking about the marauders fandom

everything i say here is being said with the premise that i do not think either gender or sexuality are fixed, inherent identities. this is part of my own personal worldview, and it is not something that everyone will agree with. if anyone is curious about why i think that way, i'm happy to explain further - but i won't right now, because that's not the purpose of this post. suffice it to say that if you disagree with that premise, you may disagree with a lot of the thoughts building off of it, but what matters is that we are all operating from the same premise for the purposes of this post. and since it's my post, i get to choose the premise! fun :)

i am defining "fetishization" as used in this essay as the reduction of someone's sexuality to a sex object; essentially, viewing homosexuality as nothing more than a means by which to get off, rather than a complex experience and identity.

okay if you've made it through the ground rules and are still here, great! let's get into it. first, anon, i'm going to try to summarize your point - if i'm misinterpreting or misconstruing anything, please let me know! but from what i understand right now, the gist of what you're saying is:

it's uncomfortable/problematic when cis women read and write highly explicit/graphic sexual content about mlm because they themselves would never/have never experienced those types sexual relationships

and your final sort of "conclusion" seems to be this part:

"...there should be boundaries or lines (whether they be messy or not) drawn on who can consume that media."

so bear with me, but i essentially want to push back a little and ask some questions about assumptions that might be underlying that viewpoint. again, i'm not trying to argue or debate; i am not saying that this opinion is wrong and you shouldn't have it. i'm just saying hey! i don't entirely agree, but your points challenged me to think about why, so let's talk about it!

first, i want to do a little thought experiment. you draw this conclusion that you think there do need to be some boundaries and lines, and the boundary you seem to be suggesting is that "the author would have never experienced that type of sexual relationship." so, let's run with that - let's say that writers should only write about the types of sexual relationships they've experienced.

i'm a lesbian. i've written about two gay men having sex. does that create the same discomfort?

"well, rae," you might say, "obviously not. obviously you aren't fetishizing gay men. you're gay, too! you understand homosexuality, and it isn't just a fetish to you."

ok! cool. lesbians get the green card to write about gay sex. awesome, love that for us. what about a bisexual woman?

now here, this conversation can go one of two ways. either you say - yeah, of course, any queer person can write about queer sex. in which case i say - cool! sounds good. from what i've seen, the majority of sexual content in the marauders fandom is queer people writing about queer sex, so this whole conversation about fetishization just doesn't really seem like an issue here to me.

OR you say no, that's where i'm drawing the line, because bi women experience attraction to men, which means that if they write about men having graphic sex with each other they are reducing those men to sex objects. to which i just kind of say...really? like, are you sure?

you use the fic sweater weather as an example. and i have read that fic, although it's been a while, so it's not entirely fresh in my mind, and i also do not know anything about the writer's gender, sexuality, or the types of sex they may or may not have had. based on your ask, it seems like the writer is a woman, which, ok. trusting u on that one. you said that the explicit sexual content made you and some of your mlm friends uncomfortable when you read it, and my very first initial thought to that is - then why did you read it?

like, the thing about fanfic is that nobody has to read it. and even if it's popular, there's nobody profiting off of it. i actually went to check in ao3, and sweater weather is not only tagged as "Explicit," but it also contains the tags, "smut," "sexual content," "blow jobs," "anal sex," and "semi-public sex," which means that before even reading the first sentence, you would have known to expect all of that explicit sexual content. so right off the bat, if that type of explicit sexual content makes you uncomfortable, i am genuinely asking from a place of confusion: why read it? or if you thought it wouldn't make you uncomfortable but then you got to it and it did, why keep reading? why not simply close the fic?

regardless, we have both read that fic, and although like i said, it's been a while, and it's not exactly fresh in my mind, i personally did not come away from it thinking that the explicit sexual content was fetishizing. we may just have a difference of opinion here, and obviously we're going to have different perspectives, so maybe this is just something that i need explained a bit more to me to understand (and i would value the input of any gay men/mlm who would like to talk to me about this!). but from what i remember, there's a lot more to the story than just the sexual content, the characters are fleshed out beyond their sexualities, and the sexual content was actually relevant in the context of the broader story being told in the ways that it deepened the characters' relationship, explored the ways in which they related to each other, and was situated in a larger story involving homophobia amidst hockey culture. at the end of the day, i just didn't get the sense that the writer was reducing gay men to nothing more than sexual objects.

and so this might be getting back into that limit you set earlier - "the author would have never experienced that type of sexual relationship." like, currently, that seems to be your baseline for fetishization - that if an author has never experienced a certain type of sexual relationship, they cannot write about it without reducing it to an object of fetish. but the reason that i just can't get behind this is that at the end of the day, you have no way of knowing what kinds of sexual relationships a writer has or has not engaged in, because a person's gender and sexuality tells you nothing about what kind of sex they have. identity can change over time, and just because someone identifies a certain way now doesn't mean they always have. something that was interesting to me about your ask is later on when you specify, "there’s no harm in explicit queer smut but i think it becomes problematic when it is written by and read by cis women." the specification on cis women here interests me simply because...cis women can have queer sex. additionally, i want to challenge you to pause and think about why you're placing trans and cis women in different categories here. what assumptions might you be making about the types of sexual relationships trans women and cis women have, and why might those assumptions lead you decide that one type of woman is more qualified to write about certain sexual experiences than another? again, i will reiterate: a person's gender and sexuality does not actually give you any information about the types of sexual relationships they have had, are having, or may have in the future. this is why i think "only write about sexual relationships you have had" is an impossible boundary to set.

furthermore, i actually think that fanfiction should be a safe space for people to explore types of sexual relationships they maybe haven't had! gender and sexuality are not static or fixed; they are identities that can change throughout a person's life, and they are identities that i think people should be encouraged to explore. a cis woman writing or reading about gay sex may be exploring some things about her own gender and sexuality, and because of the nature of fanfiction (outside the profit economy, tagging system that helps protect people from being forced to see things they don't want to see, etc) i actually think it should remain a safe space for her to do that.

and so here you might say -- ok rae, i'm with you on most of this, but surely there must be some aspect of fetishization going on? why else would explicit mlm fics be so wildly popular when explicit wlw fics are not? and the thing is, i've talked about that question at length in this post, so i'm not gonna say it all again -- but essentially, i think a lot of it has to do with the ways in which people taught to be women are systematically alienated from their own bodies and desires, making it easier to explore sexual desire through the medium of fictional men.

so like...when you say "you have to ask why they’re specifically looking for explicit mlm fics." there's a lot of possible answers to this question! maybe they're questioning their own gender or sexuality. maybe they have some complicated internalized feelings surrounding their own sexual desire that make it easier to read something the feels a few steps removed. maybe they're curious about a type of sex they've never had before. or maybe they are just reading it to get off--and we might have a difference of opinion here, but i do not think that that in and of itself is problematic, because there is a difference between "somebody gets off to x thing" and "somebody views x thing exclusively as material for getting off." one is fetishization, the other is just...human sexual desire.

and the thing is, there is no way to know the reasons behind why every single person who is reading mlm fic is reading it. there is no line you can draw in the sand that will ensure everyone is always reading it for "the right reasons" without in some way excluding queer people from access to what should be a safe space to explore sex and sexuality. and that's why i tend to be wary anytime i see these conversations about fetishization popping up within the marauders fandom.

one last thing i feel the need to address: you say that "men consuming lesbian smut and porn is uncomfortable and disgusting, i think the same opinions should be applied when women do the same to explicit gay media." and i'm going to disagree with you here, for a number of reasons.

we're not talking porn as a whole (or at least, i'm not). we're talking about fanfiction, which is a unqiue form of media and should be treated as its own thing.

i agree that all fetishization is bad, but the fetishization of lesbians by men versus the fetishization of gay men by women are two entirely different situations. like. the power dynamics at play are very different, and the ways each group is affected looks different, and the ways in which that fetishization happens look different and just...idk, this feels like a simplification of a much more nuanced conversation that i do not have time to get into right now.

WITHIN this conversation we're having about marauders fanfiction and explicit sexual content there though - i actually do not agree that men consuming explicit sexual content about lesbians is always going to be uncomfortable and disgusting. in fact, within the context of marauders fic, i'd say that everything i've already said about women consuming mlm content could probably be applied to men consuming wlw content. like...i don't mind if men are reading and enjoying my lesbian sex scenes. obviously i don't want anyone fetishizing them, but i sincerely doubt that that's what's happening in a majority-queer space like the marauders fandom--if there are men reading and enjoying the sex scenes i write, i think it's far more likely that they are probably finding some common ground in our shared queerness. and even if there is a cishet man out there reading my work -- i don't mind him engaging with a portrayal of lesbian sexuality, and maybe it's even a good thing for him to venture outside the heteronormative bubble and get an idea of what queer sex looks like to queer people. is it a risk that someone might read it and fetishize it? sure. but lesbians are going to be fetishized no matter what boundaries i try to set, so i would rather my work remain a safe space for queer people of any identity than try to cherry pick who can and cannot read it. also, i have read fic with lesbian sex that was not written by lesbians or wlw, and was still done well, and was still not fetishizing. at the end of the day, it's the actual content that matters to me, and not the identity of the writer. obviously, the identity of the writer will inform their content to a certain extent, but that doesn't mean writers should only be limited to writing experiences that they personally have had. especially in fanfic, which i view as a safe space for exploration.

anyway, as i warned at the beginning, this got very long, but i wanted to take the time to flesh out my thoughts and really address the points you were making. hopefully this provides some food for thought on the conversation about fetishization within the marauders fandom, and hopefully it helps to explain why i'm wary of trying to create boundaries around who does or doesn't have a right to read or write certain types of fanfiction!

much love <3

#trusting u guys to be respectful w this one because it's a sensitive topic #and not everyone is going to agree with all of my points and that's okay!#this is a messy conversation and there just isn't a single black and white conclusion #but at the end of the day #tl;dr - any attempt to create rules or boundaries about who can and cannot read certain content is going to hurt some queer people #ask #ranting and raving

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sewerfight · 4 months

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when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done

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aashiqui-aashiqui · 2 months

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by the way when i say other cricketers i mostly mean the english players and no offence but i do not get what people see in them…like i know theres english people on here who obviously are gonna post about their own team but like i refuse to believe those players are that interesting

#joe root might be the only white person on that team i care for #moeen ali and adil rashid get my support by default though because theyre fellow brown people and muslims so like they were always gonna be #included in this incredibly small list #but yeah thats it i could care less for any other english player like so many of them infuriate me for no reason #buttler and stokes are two popular ones i dont care for at all but for some reason theyre (relatively) popular on here?#in comparison to other individual players i mean #australia has fans on here too but like i dont mind them because the aus team is interesting to me #nz had some key word being had as in most of those blogs are inactive now so thats great but its a nice time capsule almost to revisit-#those blogs and see what was going on then in earlier years #as for pak i literally can count on my hands the number of blogs dedicated to pak anf its not a lot at all 😭#im gonna post more about pak cricket too but thats when psl starts #indian cricket fans are probably pretty common om here too i just purposely ignore them because like as a pakistani i cant bring myself-#care about that team at all and any time i see an indian player its like a jumpscare you know #hate that team so much its in my dna but theyre also just obnoxious as people #our team just has a bunch of cuties like what has pak ever done #anyway yeah that concludes my massive rant in the tags but in conclusion i need to see more subcontinent cricket stuff #as compared to white people cricket like we should be more active than the colonizers guys #what do i tag this as #i guess cricket but like i dont want to be attacked and murdered #its okay whatever happens doesn’t matter to me #cricket

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orionsangel86 · 1 year

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There is a phenomenon happening on Tumblr right now which may be a product of the Twitter exodus or maybe its just modern fandom mentality vehemently rejecting the old, but you guys have GOT to stop being so damn MEAN about fandom.

There are posts circulating on Tumblr right now hating on so many aspects of fandom. Yeah we all know the incorrect quotes format can be cringe and most of the time its the same quotes used for every fandom ever reducing the characters to stereotypes. Yes we know most fandoms scramble to ship the two basic white guys over all the other characters. Yes we know your blorbo probably Does Not Fucking Say That. Yes we know A/B/O is weird AF (especially now its breached containment and found its way into mainstream hetero erotica). Yes we know SuperWhoLock was ridiculous and attempts to make modern shows into a new SuperWhoLock have got old fast.

But do you have to constantly drag these things all the time? Why is it suddenly cool and popular to ridicule and criticise and hate on peoples fun?

Let people be cringe

Let people play in the fandom sandbox

Let people have their fun

Not everything has to be an intellectual critique and it doesn't make you a better person to constantly shit on fandom ON THE FANDOM WEBSITE

Fandoms can be problematic, toxic, and infuriating at times. But all the negativity isn't making things better. Yeah okay some aspects of fandom can be annoying, but must we have so many call out posts go viral on here specifically for hating on parts of fandom culture? Yet people wonder why fandom creators are quitting and there isnt as much art and interaction on here as there used to be.

If you see another negative post shitting on aspects of fandom cross your dash, maybe think before you reblog it. Maybe ask yourself if that post may be hurtful to a mutual? Perhaps youve got a mutual who writers A/B/O or CharacterxReader fanfiction who doesnt wanna see your reblog of the callout post stating reader×character fanfic is gross, or perhaps your mutual creates fun text posts applying quotes to their fave characters and youve just reblogged a 90k+ note post calling them cringy and overdone.

Just THINK please. Its not necessary. We've got to be KINDER to each other. Please don't let this place become like Twitter. Twitter was a toxic cesspool where no one had anything worthwhile to add to the discussion, no one created, everyone was just screaming angry rants into the void. Dont let tumblr become like that, because it will be the death of this place. And where will you go to find fanart and gifsets of your blorbos then?

#fandom #im fed up of seeing these 90k plus posts #that do nothing but shit on core elements of fandom #if you hate fandom that much just fuck off #get off tumblr #its so annoying

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youve-always-had-me-cas · 2 years

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I just fucking love elves. Sorry for being a predictable gayboy as if it's my fault 😭

#the rings of power #low key agree with my nerd supreme coworker that some of the casting is a bit weird but meh #when he brought it up the first time i was like hooo boy am i going to have to listen to a mildly racist rant about tolkiens #'original vision' but then he pulled up a pic of a white guy and said 'does this man not look way more like a hobbit' and i was like #'actually yeah ☠️'

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hypewinter · 1 year

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DP x DC idea

Y'all feel free to ignore this, I just gotta get this funky little idea out of my head.

So it's a reveal gone wrong....kinda. You see while Maddy is insistent that there's no way the ghost boy is her son, Jack is an emotional wreck. Apologizing to Danny for not noticing and for all the threats he hurled his way. He also promises to convince Maddy that Danny really is their son and not some ghost pretending to be him.

Maddy starts coming around and things are finally looking up for Danny, until Jack has to go somewhere and next thing he knows, he's strapped to a table.

Maddy is convinced that once she opens the ghost boy up, she'll be able to prove that he's just imitating life and isn't really alive. Then she'll show Jack and he'll believe her and they'll get back to proving how dangerous ghosts can be.

When Jack gets back, she excitedly rushes to him. Ready to show him her proof. Meanwhile a feel of dread builds up in the big man's chest as his wife's rant gets more and more maniac. They get down to the basement where there's Danny on the table. Except it's not the Danny he left, this Danny is a small baby with snow white hair and glowing green eyes.

Jack isn't even listening to his wife's explanation about how this proves this isn't their son, he just scoops the boy up and leaves.

Unsure of what to do and knowing both his wife and the giw will be after him, he goes to Vlad. Who despite his "hatred" for the two takes one look at Jack on the verge of a breakdown with baby Danny in his arms and immediately sets them up with a plan.

He sends them to Gotham with fake IDs because the ambient ectoplasm is enough to mask Danny's signature and it might even help him recover.

So they get there right and everyone around them is immediately like ???. Because where did this strangely energetic man and his giggly baby come from and why are they in Gotham of all places!?

Still, Jack's overall golden retriever energy wins them over and they think he's fine albeit a little eccentric. Until one night...

You see Danny is a baby, with the powers of a powerful half ghost, who doesn't understand that he has to hide his powers or the dangers of a baby wandering the streets at night. Cue the baby constantly turning intangible and just... slipping through the walls, leaving Jack to go running after him. Danny thinks it's a fun game. Jack thinks he won't be able to take anymore of this.

Unfortunately for poor Jack Fenton, one night during a Danny chase, he sees his boy heading right towards a fight. Between the bats and this weird guy dressed as a luchador with weird tubes sticking out of him. Then the luchador notices Danny, and Jack is brought back to that day a couple of months ago. The day he failed to protect his son. He's not going to let him down again so he does the only thing he can think of.

He absolutely bodies the luchador, scoops his son up, and runs. Not stopping until he's safely back in his rinky little apartment. Danny is giggling and making cooing noises, blissfully unaware.

Meanwhile the batfam is in shock about this huge man who came out of nowhere and just dealt with Bane like he was a nuisance more than anything. This definitely requires some investigation.

Link to the next addition!

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dpxdc #dcxdp #finally my mind is at piece and i can go eat #if you see any typos or errors #not you didn't mind your business #thank you for coming to my ted talk #winter's tales

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xervn · 2 months

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like a french girl 🎨

part 1 - paint me | part 2 | art major ellie x dance major reader | ellie photo

ao3 link

summary: ellie had been struggling with finding the perfect model for her art final. that was until she saw you.

18+ MDNI | 2.2k words | tags; college au, pining, only a little explicit, no use of y/n, not proofread

disclaimer: not an art or dance major, don't shoot!

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Scribble, scratch, throw. This has been Ellie’s routine since she moved onto campus.

Why? Her professor told her that she draws the human body like it’s lifeless. Ranting about how they’re too one-dimensional and have no depth, her lines are too sharp or not sharp enough; flat and boring in looks and in feeling.

Now listen, Ellie has nothing against criticism. She respects her professor and she’s aware that her drawings lack “vitality”. It’s been something she’s struggled with for a while now, an effect of some recent events and overall adjusting to college life.

Ellie isn’t unable to grasp the anatomy of the body, in fact it’s the opposite. She knows the human body is complex and needs thorough observation. The way the sun hits the skin, the hairs on a knuckle, the creases of a smile. Wide, small, big, tall; no two bodies are exactly the same.

Really, the imagery is so clear to her, but she finds it impossible to transfer the life and motion of the body onto a piece of paper without truly understanding the person. The way she sees it, every body has a story, and in order to make a good piece she needs to know that story.

Since art school is filled to the brim with inspiring, exciting, and vibrant people, she has, of course, tried to talk with them. She attempted to get to know the models, ask them general questions and hope something clicks. Unfortunately, that has yet to happen. She can’t really ask her friends either without it getting awkward. Imagine, “ Oh, hey guys! Can you guys get naked and pose in one spot for my homework?” Hear how weird that sounds? Even though she’s sure Jesse would definitely be down, she values her eyes.

Any “muse” she could possibly ever want was right in front of her, so why was it really impossible for her to find one?

Well, because Ellie didn’t find anyone interesting enough. She’s not shallow or anything, it has nothing to do with how the model looked, Ellie has had several good-looking models. It was more about how she perceived them. It’s just that she hasn’t seen a model that made her ask questions like: “ How’d they get that scar?” “ What does that tattoo mean?” Stuff like that.

The last interesting model she had was probably a fucking homeless guy she shared a blunt with outside a gas station many moons ago. Till this day, he might be one of her best pieces. There’s not a lot of moments like that here.

Nonetheless, Ellie saw this developing– extremely lame— personal requirement of hers annoying as shit. It’s holding her back big time, but she couldn’t help it even if she really wanted to.

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It’s practically useless to keep trying. The tiny voice in Ellie's head presses her to keep going, keep failing, but enough is enough. She is seriously burnt out and any more of this might kill her. The only thing that could help right now is a meaty slice of pizza and a blunt as soon as she thought of it.

Ellie clears out her desk, knocking the stack of crumpled paper into a conveniently placed trash can; a placement made from her constant trials and errors. She pushes up, and stretches widely, obnoxiously groaning like an old man by the end of it. She quickly tidied herself up, tying up half of her hair into a ponytail and throwing on a dark-green flannel shirt she had to sniff before wearing over her plain white tee. She takes a quick look into her floor-length mirror, making sure she looks presentable before grabbing what she needs to head out.

Just as her hand reached for the silver knob, Ellie felt this overwhelming urge to look back. God, she knows what she is going to look back at, but she really hopes she doesn’t. Unfortunately, her eyes land on her sketchbook, laid flat on the desk underneath a lamp’s warm light. She shouldn’t.

She needs a break. She knows she needs a break, but there is a twinge of hope, faith, lodged somewhere inside her. The same faith that’s kept her from dropping out every day for the past four months. Ellie groans as she drags her feet to her desk where she whisks up the brown book and shoves it in her tote bag with an accompanying pencil. She swivels back to the door and strolls out, silently praying her mood improves in the next hour.

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The cafeteria was surprisingly crowded, but Ellie managed to get her pizza without saying ‘fuck it’ to the line. Still, the thought of eating between this buzzing mess when she was in such a shitty mood turned her off. Thankfully, she knew that everyone would be everywhere but the upstairs balcony, especially during this chilly time of year. No sane person would eat out there, and she’s not particularly sane. Ellie saunters off to the balcony and sits herself at a small table facing the view.

It only took a glance around before she came to the realization that the view is not really a view. There’s only a dorm a few feet away, directly across. It’s a large brick-laid, generic building with wide windows. If it weren’t for the blinds, the view into a room would probably be good enough to read a label on something. Ellie’s freckled face grimaces at the thought, imagining what it’d be like if someone watched her rage as she messed up her homework over and over from this distance. Despite that, she thought it’d probably be a pretty good spot to live in. It’s close to the cafeteria and probably a lot bigger than her 1x1 dorm.

With a twinge of curiosity piquing her mind, Ellie glimpses over the windows, and for the most part, they are all closed.

All closed, but yours.

Yours doesn’t even have blinds. You’re on the 3rd floor and almost completely unobscured in a black camisole, sitting on your questionably roomy windowsill with a leg perched up. Ellie can see the fairy lights strung up in your bedroom, and a line of succulents closer to the window; ordered by size, which she briefly thought was cute.

You aren’t facing the window, so she can only see your back. What she could see, though, is you doing your hair, occasionally swaying to what she can only imagine is music. Your room is high, but low enough for her to identify you if she had the pleasure of knowing you. Knowing you, reverberates in her head. Does she know you? Has she met you before? Amongst that babble, there is one more question she is slowly trying to gather an answer to.

Time passes, most definitely shorter than Ellie would have thought passed. Her eyes have been glued on you the whole time, she even forgot about her, now freezing cold, pizza just so she could gawk at you. She still hasn’t seen your face yet, barely even a glimpse, but she already thinks you are stupidly beautiful just by the way you move.

From the graciousness of your movements alone, she thought there was no way in hell you didn’t know she was watching. At some point, your arms got tired, so you smoothly rolled your aching shoulders back; stretching into an arched, effortlessly perfect posture. Ellie’s eyes traced that slight curve of your back as if you’d disappear if she broke off from you.

There is no way it gets better from that, is what she thinks to herself, only to be shut up immediately after when she sees that perfectness of your back stay as you bend over and shift onto both knees to grab something far away, bringing your shorts in view. So short— so tight , they could easily be mistaken for panties.

It was unexpected to say the least, Ellie could feel her face heating up and had to look around her to see if anyone else could see what she was seeing right now. Ellie wondered about the practicality of those shorts, wondered what exactly they were supposed to cover, leering at the plush of your ass peeking out. She thoughtlessly lets her jaw drop before muttering out a low, impressed, and barely over a whisper, “Well, fuck.”

You must’ve noticed your shorts riding up, since you quickly pulled them down after you grabbed what you wanted. Ellie clears her throat, internally scolding herself for being so gross— so perverted. Her brows furrow in embarrassment from all the dirty thoughts she brewed up in that moment. But for some reason, she still doesn’t look away. Well, there’s a list of reasons for her to look away, but she feels like ignoring it.

Then a cold gust of wind bites past her face, clearly a sign from the universe that she should snap out of it, and snap out of it she does.

What the hell happened to her? What is it about you that she keeps leaning into? Suddenly something clicks in her brain. After months of creative agony, something finally clicked. She has sat here completely fascinated by you and she couldn’t tell sooner?

In all honesty, to say she is just “interested” in you would be an understatement. Yeah, now she thinks you’re the perfect model for her final, but she wants to know you beyond just the drawing. A plus is that you just happened to be hot, and Ellie has never been attracted to a subject before, so the whole thing was new and exciting to her. Just the thought of drawing you made her remember why she loved art so much. Ellie reaches for her tote bag sitting in an empty seat beside her, pulling out her sketchbook with more enthusiasm than she probably ever has. She sets the book down, opening up a blank page with one hand and tightening her grip on her pencil in the other.

She looks back up at your window, ready to sketch your life onto paper and.. Shit. You’re looking back.

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Today has been a good day for you, your teacher chose you to teach the choreo you’ve been working on for weeks to your classmates. It was an obvious ego booster for you. You felt good and you wanted to look good too, even if you weren’t going out anywhere. It was just one of those nights. You wanted to experiment with your hair, thinking maybe you’ll do something new before your next practice. Dye it, cut it.. something.

It’s been a while since you started, and after several wrist and shoulder cramps, you were finally finished. You take a look into your hand mirror, peering at your reflection. You’re satisfied now, looking exactly how you’re feeling if you minus the dingy sleep clothes you’re in.

♫ My heart, I never be, I never see, I never know. ♫

Grimes? Really? You pout, upset that your playlist didn’t magically read your mood. What you need is real 2000’s hot girl music. Britney Spears, Nelly Furtado, or Beyoncé for crying out loud.

“Alexa, skip!” You shout across the room, just loud enough for the device to hear.

The stupid thing doesn’t even light up, so you call out a few more times but to no avail. Isn’t the whole point of that thing to be voice automated? You sigh and look around for your phone, and seeing it’s nowhere in front of you, you figure it’s behind. You twist your torso to find your phone behind you and luckily you do. As you pick it up, you casually glance out the window without any expectations.

Did you see a figure in the blur as you looked away? You question your eyes, but you decide to take another look and just find out for yourself.

You peer back down and your eyes meet with someone else’s. The sudden eye contact between you and this woman instantly mortified you. Your heart sunk, and all you could do was raise your brows stupidly. She was surprised too, even in the dim light you could see her shocked expression boring back at you. Not only that, it went on for way longer than it should have. Any normal person would’ve looked away, but her eyes lingered on you before she hastily turned away.

You’ve been sitting here, dressing up your hair, listening to your music without a care in the world. Far too absorbed in yourself to realize there’s someone outside your window. You slide off your windowsill and out of sight. Just as your bottom finally hits the wood floor, you feel the coldness of it against your skin and you’re immediately conscious of the fact that your ass was literally out at some point.

The poor girl was trying to eat her food and you were bending over in front of your window like a harlot. It certainly didn’t help that she looked kinda hot. Did she? You peeked over your windowsill, hoping to get another look to really assess her hotness, but she was already gone. Whatever, maybe she didn’t see? But she looked embarrassed… embarrassed for you probably!

You hide your face in your hands and topple to the side, letting out a fake sob. Oh, god. You can already imagine Dina’s face when you tell her. You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at that thought. That was humiliating as shit, but it’s whatever. It’s not like you’ll see her again.

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side note: if you have any tropes you'd like to see w/ this universe pls do drop an ask 🤭

click 4 more!

#ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie the last of us #tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #the last of us part 2 #ellie williams x female reader #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #lesbian #ᝰ like a french girl

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bywons · 2 months

Text

𝜗ৎ MIDNIGHT SHENANIGANS! (enhypen)

⌕ it's midnight, and you both can't catch any sleep, what to do now?

𖦹 pairing. bf!enhypen x f!reader w.c. 2.1k tw/cw. skinship, nicknames genre. fluff ( CATALOGUE!? ) sru's note procrastinated big time on this one :) hope y'all enjoy this!

heeseung (이희성) 、 both of you are bored, your favourite tv show no longer being able to keep you both entertained or make you laugh till your stomachs ached. it fades into the background, slowly becoming a faint backdrop noise for your half tedious and half weary bodies tangled with each other on the couch.

"'this season just got boring", you yawn, pushing yourself closer to heeseung's broad and warm chest while his hand strokes your back, "i wonder if the next season would be bett—"

"right now the only thing you should wonder about is to get some sleep", heeseung's bored interruption causes he formation of a small frown on your face as you sit up beside him.

"you know im a night owl, hee", you sigh, angling your neck up to meet his eyes looking softly down at yours, "hmm, why don't you serenade me? pretty boy?"

heeseung reciprocates your smirk and clears his throat to sing his lover to sleep, before he can get some himself.

or so he thought. his serenade attempt soon turned to a session of singing competition after you sang the next line to a song heeseung didn't really like.

the silent living room soon gets filled with heesung's serene voice and your attempts at singing, and every time heeseung has a voice crack you mock him, laughing and falling onto his lap. your silly little singing competition continues until you both fall asleep in each other's embrace in the couch.

but nobody thanks the tv show, which still runs in the background and serenades both of you to sleep.

jay (박종성) 、 you thought your boyfriend jay wouldn't notice your absence or the slow sink and rise of the soft bed mattress beside him, and you would slip away from his loose hold and stand idly in front of the open fridge in the dark, totally forgetting your initial plan.

but then a sudden husky, sleepy, familiar voice startles you, "what are you doing there, love?"

the orange light emerging from inside the fridge illuminates your dull white tee, and accentuates jay's hands around the waistline of your joggers soon enough.

jay presses soft kisses along your neck, whispering, "are you hungry?"

"and bored", you huff.

"then let's cook something together yeah?", jay suggests before putting on his cooking apron and helping you with yours.

you have absolutely no idea on how to prepare the apple pie 'cause after all you're jay's girlfriend! he pampers you too much and cooks everything you like for you, so naturally you stood still in the middle of the kitchen, your time passing by yapping to your boyfriend and handing him the ingredients.

jay adds to your little rants, whilst single-handedly baking the apple pie, but with your little necessary helps tho <3

and when the apple pie is finally done, jay cuts the biggest portion for you, letting you taste it first.

the clock ticks by and the dull kitchen is filled by your hungry munching mouths and lovelorn eyes, jay and you enjoying each other's presence even in the boring hour at midnight.

this is bound to become a memory.

jake (심자연) 、 "but i didn't watch la la land!" "but i did!"

you guys were supposed to select a movie to watch like an hour ago now, but obviously it can't go smoothly without your usual bickering.

the night grows darker and your usual bedtime is in the long past, it's almost 1 o'clock, and both of you just wanted the movie marathon night to be over already, but not without selecting a movie you both would enjoy. and that seems impossible at this rate.

"be so for real right now, what do you really wanna watch jake?", you are losing your patience by the minute now, you only ever call him by his name when you are either annoyed or fed up by him. your eyes are threatening to close any second and you want to either a) watch a movie and cuddle to sleep with your boyfriend or b) just give everything up and sleep already.

"whichever you wanna watch", hearing this from your boyfriend makes your temper rise even more. and alas, you both agreed on something you both hate— horror movies.

ah yes, bodies huddling together with eyelids dropping to make your visions blurry and indefinite, as if it would make the movie any less scary. jake's arms pull you into a close hug as he whispers, "i t-think we should skip this part babe", to the most important part of the story.

both of you flinch at the low growl from the monster like entity in the movie. and to even make the atmosphere scarier, y'all jumped and screamed— almost waking up the neighbours —when both of you mistook layla's bark as some monster.

"babe, i think we should sleep", and that marks the end of your movie night, not even 30 minutes into the movie and your bodies are covered by the white duvet, cuddling close to each other.

such bravehearts, eh?

sunghoon (박성훈) 、 as soon as you step back after pressing the record button on your phone, sunghoon comes sprinting and sweeps you by your feet and twirls you out of the recording frame.

"ugh, hoonie!", you whine with upturned lips and kicking feet, with your boyfriend holding you up with his strong arms, "you entered at the wrong moment!"

"did i?", sunghoon was confused at first, but that expression soon wipes off his face when his eyes fall upon your pouty one. he smirks, "i don't think there's any wrong or right moment for me to pick you up in my arms, darling."

your twitching lips betray you. it opposes your expressions and matches your feelings, you couldn't help but smile down at your boyfriend who's already having heart eyes for you, and you feel blood rushing up to the tip of your ears.

"ok but do it properly this time hoon", you giggle. sunghoon lets you down to your feet, watching you run over to your phone again, resetting the tiktok recording.

this time you had to do it right, after all this can't go on till the sun peeks over the horizon and decides to wish you a good morning.

but as they say, third times the charm. this time the tiktok came out perfectly, just as you wanted to; with you looking over to the side before getting snatched away by your boyfriend in a lightening speed, and off the camera sunghoon presses soft kisses on your cheeks, soft hushed giggles filling the otherwise serene room. little affectionate moments meant only for you <3

and now the clock's almost hitting 1 am, hanged above your heads, under which the both of you scrolled past all the numerous, silly tiktoks you filmed. some with choreographies and planned lip syncs, and others just crack videos of you two, which the tiktok community will probably not see.

the night grows deeper and so does your love, but alongside the bag under your eyes </3

sunoo (김선우) 、 the pink clay mask feels cold on your skin, as you srunch up your face while sunoo applies it on you.

"don't do that, it can leave wrinkles!",sunoo exclaims although he moves his whole face a little too much with the half dry clay mask sitting cold on his own skin.

"oh, so i see how it is," you sigh, making a face full of faux melancholy, "you will not love me anymore once im all wrinkly and old."

"you know that's not true", with a clink sunoo keeps down the applicator on the washroom marble top, he swears he would pull you in the most endearing kiss if you two didn't have this pink moist layer on your faces, "and to answer your question, yes. i would still love you if you were a worm."

"but i didn't ask that question?!" "i know you would eventually."

you smile ear to ear, small wrinkles forming on the corners of your eyes as they squint and curve. sunoo's previous suggestion is completely ignored by you, and he himself doesn't abide by it, striking you a bright grin.

this little skincare session could've waited till the sunrise but what to say, your boredom took over and the next thing you know is doing each other's skincare routine.

"i love this face mask. it's pink and lavender scented", you mumbled to yourself, picking up the container sunoo just put down.

"but i don't smell lavender?", a frown forms on sunoo's face quickly as he scrunched up his nose, smelling the container lid again. and when he snatches the container from you and reads all over it, his eyes circle into horror.

"wait", he whispers, his face falling, "....is this expired?!"

jungwon (장정원) 、 "I can't sleep", you whisper while rolling over and practically letting all your body weight on your boyfriend laying next to you.

"me too", he sighs, tackling your body to his side of the bed and holding you close.

but the next thing you know is that you have your boyfriends blue and white hoodie on, standing in the middle of a random aisle in the 24/7 supermarket. you watch jungwon surf through the different snacks showcased in the aisle, and no matter how much he would compliment a different snack he would still buy the same chocolate strawberries.

"so what are we here for again?", sighing, you stand next to jungwon as he carefully reads the ingredients on the back of a cookie box, which you don't think will eventually make it's way to the empty shopping basket.

"weren't we bored? plus we can't sleep", jungwon mumbles and surprises you as he tosses the vanilla cookie box into the shopping basket.

"woah", your mouth forms an 'o' shape along with your eyebrows moving up, "what happed to the regular chocolate strawberries?"

"well i guess it's time for a change!", jungwon puts on a smug smile, knowing you despise vanilla cookies. but you are no better. you nod your head and your hands find their way to the mint chocolate ice cream box soon enough, "if you want vanilla cookies then i want mint choco."

"oh that's not happening", jungwon rolls his eyes, chasing after you down the aisle. "if you don't want it to happen then put down the cookies!", you give back an even meaner eye roll.

the supermarket total had six people inside it, including half asleep cashier and a punk teenager trio. they watched you enter and now they stood watching you both bickering, with jungwon insisting on the getting the cookies and you not letting go of the mint chocolate tub.

but at the end the basket is indeed carrying the chocolate strawberries to the counter, with your scowls turned into happy, content faces and bodies clinging to each other in the cold night.

riki (니시무라니키) 、 you have been urging riki for as long as forever, to go on a painting date in one of those aesthetic eat and draw cafés.

but our guy riki is efficient. he agrees yes, but on a random thursday. at quater to 1 am. in your house. on the already messy floor. instead of preparing for your final terms next weeks, you are busy painting each other in the most hilarious way possible.

"this is gonna be the bestest portrait of you, ever", riki chortles as he gathers his knees upto his chest, hiding his canvas behind them.

"uhh nobody has ever drawn a portrait of me?"

"that's why i'm the best boyfriend", he says proudly.

you already know what's going on on his canvas. last time he drew you, you could hardly recognize yourself except your outfit. you expect quite the same outcome for this time as well.

"ta-daaa~", riki finally reveals his long awaited portrait of you. you giggle at it and crawl your way to sit beside him. this one melts your heart, on the canvas riki doodled you and all your favourite stuff— from sanrio characters to ramen bowls, cats, skirts, coffee cups to even a small nishimura riki at the corner. he chirps, "how is it?"

you reply to him by pressing a kiss to his cheeks, watching them turn redder by the second. "cutest thing ever", you mumble, resting your head on his shoulders.

riki ruffles your hair and presses his cheek on top of your head.

but of course, this beautiful moment had to be ruined because you can't catch a breathe. your phone rings with a notification beside you and when you take a look at it, your back is straightened and a scowl takes upon your face.

"really now?! they preponded the exam!"

"o-oh no baby when is it?", a worried riki asks.

"tomorrow is my calculus paper!"

(📌) :: TAGLIST IS OPEN! @euncsace @aueyi @leaderwon @dimplewonie @yrhome @heartswonn @jwonistic @aaasia111

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