#and then finish my gd autobiographical novel

[halfelven]

writing idea~

so........... so I have this idea I was thinking of Sauron's name and reading Isildur's account of taking the Ring and he was obsessing over the Ring. and then I was thinking of Morgoth, like obsessed like that about Sauron in a fucked up he views him as a "pretty thing" kind of dynamic?

so Sauron is fucking gorgeous and ruins people's lives by being hot, his name has that connection to being precious, Isildur has the ring and despite his family dying he's already all "oh it's precious to me" even though it's this thing that contains Sauron's soul (even though Sauron has killed his family)

so the concept of Morgoth having this possessive "Sauron is one of the greatest creations and I want to shape him with my own hand like I did to the world" kind of aspect because he's... Like That

okay so maybe I'm just looking for characters to torture but like... 'he's beautiful and I want to ruin him' and then absolutely doing that

Sauron has a lot of fire connections and Morgoth has a lot of ice elements in the freezing north and Mordor is in the south with Mordor being really hot. and then Morgoth wants to grab him and shape him or break him into what he wants. It's a really really really really abusive relationship. like really fucked up. like Morgoth torturing Sauron levels of fucked up BUT Sauron becoming almost like addicted to it? like and then it shapes his interest in torture/cruelty

I think it's in character for both of them? Elrond makes that weird comment about Sauron being not evil in the beginning (which like is read as a warning) but it's like... almost sympathetic? like it makes me wonder how much he's seen of Sauron's mind

bc we know that Sauron really does hate his family. and Elrond still makes that comment. A warning that you can become evil but... Elrond, that's a weird person to bring up right there. (I know he's going the most evil person on the planet right now was not evil to begin with. remember that. but still this is when they've just lost Saruman and he's been saying this happens)

But I want to write like seeing Sauron like actually... break. bc Morgoth wants complete domination of the world and creation and Sauron being part of that creation? and Sauron has such a strong will and wants order while Morgoth is more chaotic but he admires that will. but he also wants to break it? you know?

and then we see it in Sauron's control later. with like the ringwraiths and how he winds up controlling people in the end after he loses his beauty. like I really want Sauron to be a little bit... insane? I guess would be the word. the whole Numenor thing really gets to me

(I know I shouldn't relate so hard to that but when I was a kid I had this idea where we were like captured but I created a fake religion where we had to do "human sacrifice" so that we could get people out alone into the forest but they wound up escaping as the 'sacrifice' but when we came back with blood and without them everyone thought we were doing human sacrifice and were too scared to stop us. I was like... six. okay look. I heard too much about human sacrifice. It fucked me up. But I read about Sauron and his human sacrifice and I was like same. and like sometimes I just relate to Sauron and I hate that I relate to Sauron BUT actually I can give Sauron a fucked up enough background to relate to. and it's like... you can see where my life influence comes into this idea. but like... people would read it and be like that's fucked up. and I'd be like yeah I didn't invent ideas about human sacrifice religions in which I was the high priest. ever. never did that.)

I'm going to project onto Sauron so hard right now

#txt #shhh I shouldn't be coming up with writing ideas #but this one hit me so hard #due to personal reasons #sauron #morgoth #angbang #jr2t #silm #ignore me #I'm not even remotely going 'poor baby sauron' here #maybe I'm just a little bit tired of being nice #what I really need to do is a self insert piece in a really dark story #so that I can get used to writing myself as a character #and then finish my gd autobiographical novel #I still need to write my aragorn nazgul one shot #I have too many ideas #narn