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hyunniesgirl · 6 months

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Another Love | part 1

Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.

Words count: 8,539

Warnings for this part: lots of angst, drunk people, drunk Han is petty asf

A/N: So I made that pool asking if I should post this fic in chapters or a 20,000+ words chapter and the long ass chapter won but at the time my mind told me I would be able to finish the whole fic before posting it... Jokes on me I need validation and feedback for me to write so yeah let's do this in chapters, sorry

A/N2: I had this idea for quite some time now but got suddenly inspired listening to the song another love.

You're done. Really, you can't take it anymore. You've known Han Jisung since elementary school, you have been basically joined at the hip since then, your parents even became best friends because of you two.

You don't know exactly when you fell in love with him, was it on your second day at school when he invited you to play with him because he noticed you were all alone? Was it when someone made an awkward joke about your messed up hair cut in second grade and he picked a fight with them? Maybe it was the very first moment you laid eyes on him, joking around with everyone and being the most popular kid in the classroom. You really can't remember, but the thing you're sure of is: Han Jisung doesn't like you back.

You've always known that, but inside you there was a tiny bit of hope that one day he would wake up and suddenly love you back.

That didn't happen though. You are now 23 and he has never ever shown the smallest amount of romantic interest in you.

"That's fine", you thought to yourself, ever since you realized your feelings for him, "I'm going to stay with him his entire life, that doesn't sound so bad"

Until it started to sound really bad. What are you gonna do? See him getting a girlfriend, then getting engaged and eventually married? Would you always be there on the sidelines listening to his lovesick whines about the woman he loves so much? Would you be the godmother to his children? By then, would you have gotten over him already? Or would you keep this up forever, marrying someone just because you can't stay alone and being in love with your best friend for the rest of your life? That was the moment you knew you had to stop, you can't keep this up.

Coincidentally Han broke up with his last girlfriend a few months ago, you thought that would be a good opportunity for you to be his rebound, yeah, pretty dignified of you.

So you dress up really pretty, hair up, a dress that always made Han compliment you and to finish it off—the necklace he gave you on your 12th birthday.

You think this is it, this is the day you're going to tell him how much you love him and maybe, just maybe he will contemplate giving you a chance.

When he arrives at your shared apartment, with two cans of beer and fried chicken, you give him a cheerful greeting, setting the table and trying to gather courage to speak.

"So, how was practice?", you begin, maybe some small talk will help you relax.

"It was good, we are almost done with the album", he says, typing something on his phone. "How was your day?", he asks, putting the device on the table and looking at you.

"Good, I had class in the morning and tutoring in the afternoon", you take a sip of your beer, "one of the mothers actually recommended me to other parents and I'm gonna start tutoring more students next week"

He smiles, "that's good, you're really smart"

You blush, bringing the back of your hands to your face to try and lessen the hot skin of your cheeks with the cold of your hands.

"Actually, I want to talk to you", you start, it's now or never.

"Sure-", Jisung stops mid sentence when his phone buzzes. "Just a minute", he looks at the screen and smiles, your heart sinks at the sight. You know that smile too well, you have seen it dozens of times. You feel your insides turning over. It's the smile meant only for the person he likes.

"Hey, Lia. Yeah, totally, I can talk right now", he picks up the call and once again asks you for a minute lifting his index finger, he walks towards the balcony and closes the glass door after going through it.

He's laughing about something, is she even that funny or is he just trying to win her favor? She's pretty, you know it. All of his girlfriends looked like models. You sigh, looking at yourself and feeling awful, suddenly you don't feel pretty anymore, you actually feel ridiculous.

Why did you think things would change just because you got brave enough to speak up? Jisung sees you as a best friend and nothing more, you have to come to terms with that.

Your mind is rushing, thinking about what you're going to do now? Can you keep being friends with him? Yeah, of course, he's your best friend, you won't end your friendship because you can't control your feelings. But you'll need time, right? You won't be able to get over this unrequited love if you keep seeing him everyday, doing everything with him and sleeping in the same house.

"So, what do you want to talk about?", he asks, sitting again. You didn't even notice he had come back inside.

You sigh, you'll tell him about it all and then you'll find the strength in you to move on.

"I like you", you say so low you're not sure he heard you. But he did, he smiles and chuckles.

"I like you too, we're best friends for a reason", he stretches his arm to take a fried chicken.

"No, I like like you", you admit, hugging yourself, feeling cold suddenly, you look around and see Han left the door to the balcony open. "I've been in love with you since I can remember", you complete.

The look on his face would be funny if it wasn't tragic, his brows are furrowed in confusion and his eyes have a very familiar look: fear. Of course, he's afraid of losing his best friend, you already guessed that much.

"Y/N I-", you notice his breathing quickening. "I'm sorry, I never knew", he says, shoulders slumping, his arms dropping to the side of his body.

"Yeah, I know you didn't", you say. He's still staring at you with so much hurt in his eyes. Jisung knows he will have to turn you down and it's going to hurt him a lot, but not as much as it will hurt you and he never ever wanted to hurt you.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say", he takes a deep breath, "I never thought about you in that way, I'm really sorry, I don't feel the same"

You're not going to cry, you decided that the moment you saw fear in his eyes. It's not his fault you like him, he can't fall in love with you just because you love him. You're not going to cry and make him feel worse than you can tell he's already feeling. But listening to those words it's worse than you could have expected, you feel like the world is crumbling around you.

"I know you don't", you smile sadly.

He looks more confused now.

"Then, why did you tell me?"

"It's just… I'm done with all this", you reply, getting up from your chair.

"Done with our friendship?" Han can feel all the air leaving his body while he waits for your answer.

You chuckle, fidgeting with your foot.

"No, I don't think I could ever be done with that", you smile trying to reassure him and he feels so relieved. "I can't keep doing this, I can't continue seeing you with other people and stay hurting alone"

"I can stop bringing people to the apartment and I'll never talk about them around you", he says trying to help and your stomach sinks a lot more. Why does he have to be so sweet?

"Actually, I'll need some time", you clear your throat, "I think I'm going to stay with Seungmin for the time being, he is looking for a roommate"

Han's eyes widen and he gets up, walking towards you.

"What are you talking about? Are you going to move out?"

"It's not something definitive, I'm going to stay there until he finds a new roommate and come back after that", you take a step back, noticing how close he is to you. "Luckily by then I'll be over you, I think I just need some personal space for now, where you're not there everytime I look, or your things aren't mixed with mine or your scent isn't around every room"

"Will you still speak to me?", he asks, he wants to hug you, to hold you in his arms and say how sorry he is for not feeling the same. But he knows he can't, the best thing he can do is to keep his distance from you right now.

"I think we should keep it restricted to apartment things for now, I'll keep paying my half of the rent since my things will still be here"

"You don't have to pay if you're not here"

Ever since Jisung started making good money he insisted that you didn't have to pay for rent since you only work part time as a tutor to pay for your living expenses but you always refused. Even though he earns a lot more than you it wouldn't be fair for him to be the only one paying and honestly, you felt that if he was the only one paying for it, you would feel too much like you were a couple.

"No, I'll pay you. This arrangement doesn't change the fact that we still share the apartment"

He nods, looking down, the awkward silence making you sick.

"I'm really sorry I hurt you", he whispers and all the crying you avoided over this whole conversation threatens to come out at that exact moment.

"It's not your fault", you say, "I'm sorry I made things awkward, just give me some time and we'll be back to how things were, okay?", you give him a reassuring smile even though you're not sure things will ever go back to the way it was.

You wake up feeling like shit, you cried your eyes out the moment you stepped into Seungmin's apartment. He was so sweet to you, staying awake until you calmed down and even offered you his room for you to sleep but you refused. He was already doing you a favor by letting you stay on his couch until he found a roommate.

You sit, stretching yourself, you slept pretty comfortably but all the stress from last night left your muscles sore.

"Are you feeling better?", you hear Seungmin's voice and look at the kitchen, he's making coffee. That reminds you of all the days you woke Han up with a nice and hot coffee so he wouldn't be in a bad mood waking up so early.

"I don't think so", you answer, shaking your head like that would make your thoughts disappear. "Can you get me some of that?", you ask and he smiles.

"Already on it", you start tidying up the blanket and the pillow you used.

"What are you going to do today?", Seungmin asks while you sit at the table.

"I have some tutoring to do and class in the afternoon, maybe I'll go shopping with Hannah later"

"That's good, try to keep yourself entertained at least for the next couple of days", he hands you the mug and you nod.

All your friends knew about your crush on Han and you made all of them swear they wouldn't tell him. You were afraid things would be awkward now, since Han was their friend before you met them, but they all showed you support now that you had confessed.

Hannah had offered you to stay with her, but she has a roommate that's really strict about everything in their apartment and you don't want to cause trouble to your friend by staying there. Luckily Seungmin's last roommate had moved a couple of weeks ago and he was looking for someone new, but by the way he's picky that's not going to happen so soon.

"Since I'll be staying here and you won't accept money because I won't be using a room, the groceries will be on me and I won't accept no for an answer", you say finishing your coffee and getting up. Seungmin sighs, rolling his eyes.

"I know you're going to buy it anyway, so I'll accept it"

"Then send me a list of whatever you need and I'll buy it tonight or tomorrow", you blow him a kiss, picking your bag from the floor and heading to the bathroom.

You take a long, hot, refreshing shower and pick some comfortable clothes to go to your tutoring session.

Seungmin's already gone when you go back to the kitchen, there's a message from him on your phone.

Minnie: I left some sliced fruit in the fridge for you, eat before going out.

Minnie: I'll send you the list later btw

You smile, having someone taking care of you is nice. For a second, it makes you forget the reason why you're there to begin with.

You feel like crying again, but you can't show up to your students house with red eyes and a puffy face.

The parents that are near each other usually ask you to teach their children together in longer sessions. That strengthens the bond the kids have while strengthening the connection between the families. That usually happens when the families are wealthy, they see an opportunity in their children's friendship to get on each other's good side.

Your parents started hanging out with Jisung's parents too, not because of connections but because you two were always in each other's houses. Once, you broke your arm falling from a tree you tried to climb following Han, his mother had to call yours and calm her down on the phone the entire time your mother was driving to the hospital to meet you. That day you got scolded by both and after they finished the lecture they looked at each other and smiled, bonding over the fear of something happening to their precious child.

When they went out to buy some coffee and talk, Jisung sat by the side of your hospital bed, lips pouting and tearing up.

"I'm sorry I dared you to follow me all the way up there", he says, taking the hand of your good arm and holding it.

"It's okay, now at least I have an exciting story to tell the others", you say and he smiles, whipping his eyes.

The noise of the gate opening wakes you up from your daydream, you have to stop thinking about Han if you want to get over him.

The kids come running in your direction the moment the housekeeper opens the door.

"Miss Y/N, look I got a 9.5 on my test", the girl smiles brightly showing you the paper with the grade marked in red.

"Woah, Misu, you're so smart, I don't think you even need me anymore", you bend to her height and she pouts, sometimes she acts like a little child when she's already 12.

"Of course I need you, you're the prettiest and smartest person I know", she says and you hear someone clear their throats by the stairs. It's Misu's mother.

"If I didn't agree with her I'd be hurt", she says and you smile.

"Good morning, Mrs. Kim, I only helped a little, Misu's really smart", you say and the girl shows you her white teeth, looking at her mother and waiting for some praise.

"Of course she is", she pats the girl's head. "Eun, aren't you going to say hi to Y/N?"

The boy is a few months younger than Misu but a lot more shy. You saw him coming with her when you arrived but got so engrossed in your conversation that forgot he was there in silence.

"Hello, miss Y/N", he says, polite as ever.

"Hi, Eun, did you get a good grade like Misu?"

He nods, showing you his test with 9.8 marked in red.

"He's smarter than me", Misu pouts.

"Congratulations, Eun", you say, patting his head, making him blush and you smile. "I think you are both really smart and I'm here to help you get even smarter"

Mrs. Kim tells you to go ahead and start the lesson and invites you to stay for lunch. You were pretty lucky with the parents you met till now, all of them were nice to you and cared a great deal about their children so it's a lighthearted job to do.

The kids are indeed smart, usually you don't have to explain the same thing more than twice and they always ask a lot of questions during your time with them.

A week goes by since you last saw Jisung, fortunately he didn't try contacting you. You're sure that if he did you'd break hearing his voice and would beg for him to like you back, giving up on any pride you still have left.

You arrive at school an hour before your classes begin, you're meeting Hannah at the cafe nearby so you can talk a bit.

You look at your phone, there's a message from her saying she's on the bus but the traffic is awful so she might be a little bit late.

You choose a table by the window, contemplating if you should order already or wait till Hannah arrives.

Looking outside, you remember the moment you heard the news that you got into this university. Yours and Jisung's family were at your parents house, you both were seated on the couch when you received the message saying the college entrance results came out. You couldn't type your information, you were trembling so much Han had to do it for you.

When you read your name and the word "accepted" you actually screamed, making your mother drop the plate she had in hands. Your father and Han's came running to see what happened when Jisung showed them the screen.

Your mother and father embraced you, telling how proud they were of you and Jisung's parents did the same, like you were their own daughter.

Jisung wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up, spinning you and making you burst out laughing. That moment was so good, you wanted to stay there forever.

"Earth to Y/N", you hear Hanna's voice and snap out of your thoughts, sighing. "Is everything okay?", she asks, worried.

"Yeah, I'm good", you say and she narrows her eyes, knowing you are not telling the truth.

Hannah left it at that though, you are going through a hard time and she doesn't want to push it.

Honestly, she don't expect you to be fine. Your lifelong crush had rejected you and to make things worse he is your best friend, so yeah, of course you are not okay.

"Then, I'm going to order", she drops her bag in the seat in front of you, "your usual?"

You nod, seeing her walk to the cashier. You met Hannah three years ago, when you started college. She's the total opposite of you, really outgoing and a total social butterfly, it seems those are the people you attract seeing how Han is the same.

She sat by your side on the first day, making a random joke and making you laugh, that's how she became your best friend. You didn't even have to tell her about your one sided love, she had to see only one interaction between you and Jisung to know exactly what was going on.

She is the one that urged you to tell him about your feelings and was very adamant about you moving on from him, she couldn't let you waste all your 20's being in love with someone that didn't like you back… or not the way you wanted to.

"So, I heard about a party", Hannah says, putting the pager on the table and sitting in front of you.

"There's like a hundred of those, you have to be more specific", you joke and she rolls her eyes.

"You know that guy from English literature? The one that dyed his hair pink last semester?"

"Yeah, it's kinda hard to forget about him", you laugh.

When Yunho came to school with pink hair a rumor of him becoming an idol started going around, everyone tried to be nice to him and all that shit but it turned out he just lost a bet.

"He's hosting this party in like a really big fancy place to celebrate his graduation", she finishes.

"That's nice", you say, fidgeting with your fingers under the table.

"Hmmm, are we going to go or what?", she asks and you glance at her.

"Were we invited?"

"Ahm, you're hot and I'm hot, why wouldn't we be invited?"

You laugh, knowing what she's doing. Hannah is more sensible than you give her credit for, you really thought she would ask about everything that happened on that night, but instead she has been trying to distract you for the past week and that is really nice of her.

She smiles, seeing you smile. Hannah knows you never give enough credit to yourself, you never think you're pretty enough, funny enough, cool enough or smart enough even though you're those things and much more. She approached you on your first day because there's just something about you, something bright and cheerful. When people are upset, mad or sad you always do your best to make them feel better, so Hannah felt this was her time to cheer you up.

The pager buzzes on the table and she gets up, going to the counter to get your orders.

You look at her coming back with a big grin in her lips, handing you the coffee with a note glued to the cup sleeve.

"To the girl with the yellow cardigan, I see you coming here often and I think you're cute, maybe we can hangout sometime? If you're up to it, text me: xxx xxxx-xxxx"

You blush, looking at the counter and seeing the cutest guy looking at you with flushed cheeks. He's so red you can see it from where you're seated. He smiles waving at you and you wave back.

Hannah has one eyebrow lifted looking at your interaction and you feel your cheeks even hotter.

"So, are you going to text him?", she asks, reading the note and you sigh.

"I don't think so", you say, sipping at your coffee.

"Why not?"

"I don't think it would be fair to someone if I start something with them when I'm still in love with someone else", you answer and Hannah sighs.

"Yeah, you have a point", she pouts, "but like, maybe messing around a little won't hurt? I mean, he's not in love with you or anything, you can talk with each other and see where things go"

Hannah's right and you know it. Even though it's still too soon, you should try meeting new people, you're not going to get over Han just by staying away from him.

This feelings, you have it with you for so long, it's hard to let it go. Loving Han is the only romantic feeling you have ever known, it's scary to walk off of this thing you know so well to something completely new.

You have to, though. It's the only way for your friendship to keep existing. So you nod to Hannah, taking your phone out of your pocket and dialing the number written on the cup, seconds later you're typing a message.

You: Hey, it's the girl in the yellow cardigan, my name is Y/N btw

You send and hear a ping, you thought he would have his phone on silent mode and sudden embarrassment creeps up when you see him taking his phone out of the pocket of his apron.

Cute guy: Hey, I was afraid of making you uncomfortable, so let me apologize first. I just didn't know how to approach you

Cute guy: Ah, and I'm Heeseung

You change the name in his contact before replying.

You: it didn't make me uncomfortable and thank you for calling me cute.

Heeseung: you don't have to thank me for telling the truth.

You giggle, it's interesting to feel like this, even though you can tell it's something temporary.

You: lol, you're really smooth.

"Let's go?", Hannah says, smirking at you and you blush. You nod, picking your things up and getting up from the table, you wave goodbye to Heeseung before going out and he smiles brightly at you.

>><<

The morning after you went away, Han woke up feeling awful, all the things that happened the previous night coming back at him at the same time. He was sure the moment you walked out of the door, giving him your best smile and trying not to cry was the saddest he ever felt in his entire life. You were his best friend, you were everything to him, he felt like shit because he never noticed your feelings. He doesn't know what he would have done if he knew, but maybe he could have been better, talking less about his relationships and especially not bringing his hook ups to the apartment.

He got up, feeling like crying everytime he had to pass by your bedroom door, knowing you were not there and wouldn't be for far too long, all because of him. The bell rings and he runs to the door, hoping it's you, hoping you'll tell him everything was a joke and that you didn't actually like him. Even though he knows you wouldn't press the doorbell since you know the password and he knows the hurt in your eyes when he said he didn't feel the same as you was no joke.

So it was no surprise when he opened the door and found Chan and Changbin there. They did tell him they were going to stop by in the morning to pick him up but with all the things that happened he just forgot about it.

"Are you okay? You look like shit", Changbin says entering the house.

Chan looks at Han, worried.

"Are you sick?", he asks, "where's Y/N?" He knows you wouldn't leave Han alone if he were sick, but you would have shown up already by hearing Changbin's loud voice.

"She's gone", Han says, running his hands through his hair.

"What do you mean?", Chan asks with wide eyes.

"She- she confessed to me and I turned her down", he says, maybe he should have told you he could like you back, that way he wouldn't be feeling this way and you'd still be there with him.

"Shit", Changbin says, his lips pressed in a thin line.

Han looks at the both of them, why don't they look surprised?

"You guys knew about it?" He asks, a little louder than his usual voice and the boys exchange a look. "Woah, thanks for the heads up"

He shouldn't be mad at them, it's not their fault, but he's already too mad at himself so he doesn't know where else to put the blame.

"It was not our place to tell you", Chan says.

"Does everyone know?", Han asks and Changbin nods, "so I was the only one? Am I dumb or something?"

Chan sighs, "it's not really your fault for not knowing, you probably are used to the way Y/N looks and talks to you because you're best friends since you were children, but to the people outside it is pretty clear from the get go that she likes you"

"But where did she go? Are you not friends anymore?", Changbin asks the difficult questions and Chan glares at him.

"She said she will be staying with Seungmin till he finds a roommate and then she's going to come back"

"She probably just needs some time", Chan says, putting a hand on Han's shoulder trying to reassure him, and he really hopes that's the case.

>><<

You've been texting Heeseung for a few days now and he's pretty nice, he's a dance major and works part time at the cafe to pay for living expenses the same as you do with tutoring.

Hannah had convinced you to go to Yunho's party and get wasted, saying you need the college life experience the most now that you had your first heartbreak but you don't want to think about that, you want to forget that you ever loved Han Jisung.

So you drink a whole bottle of wine before leaving for the party, Seungmin's coming with you and Hannah will meet you there. You are looking good, or maybe it's the alcohol that makes you feel good, your hair is down, you're wearing a black lace cropped top you borrowed from Hannah, with a much lower neckline than you are used to, high waisted jeans and black boots.

The party is already crowded when you and Seungmin get there and it's really a fancy place like Hannah told you.

"Let's grab a drink", you yell to Seungmin.

"You should drink water, you're already drunk", he demands and you show your tongue to him.

"Nooooo, don't be a killjoy"

He sighs, it's hard to convince you of something when you're sober, it's even harder when you're drunk.

"You can have a drink after you drink a cup of water", he tells you and you nod, sounds like a win win for you.

After drinking a whole cup of water you show it to him, waiting for a praise and Seungmin rolls his eyes. What are you, a 10 year old?

"Good job, now you can drink", he gives you a cup with something mixed in it, "but you have to drink some water for each drink you take, okay?"

"Okay, dad", you joke, sipping your drink.

Seungmin knows a lot of people at the party and you feel left out every time someone approaches him so you're really happy when Hannah shows up, with a much taller boy accompanying her.

"Look who I found", she says pointing at him.

"Heeseung?", you scream, startling Seungmin who's close to you.

"Jesus, Y/N, calm down", he says putting his hand over his ear, "I'm a singer, I can't lose my hearing", he says and you pout, whining an apology even though you know he's not really mad.

"I didn't know you were gonna be here", Heeseung gets closer to you, side eyeing Seungmin.

"I didn't want to come, Hannah made me", you tell him, "this is Seungmin, he's my friend"

He nods at the boy by your side, relaxing to hear you call Seungmin a friend.

"Hey, Minnie, let's go dance?", Hannah says and Seungmin narrows his eyes suspiciously.

"I don't dance", he answers, crossing his arms and she sighs.

"For fucking sake, just come with me", she says and Seungmin follows her without more questions, he knows too well not to mess with her when she gets angry.

"You look really pretty", Heeseung says, bending a little to lessen the difference in your height. You blush even though it's not as good hearing him saying that as it was when Han complimented you, but you're trying to get over that, aren't you?

"Thanks, you look hot too", you hiccup, you don't have a filter when you're drunk. He smiles, turning around on the table and pouring you a cup of water.

"Drink this, it's going to help", he hands it to you.

"Thank you, you're so sweet and handsome", you yell again but he doesn't flinch like Seungmin did.

"You can't keep saying these kinds of things and not want me to kiss you", he says and you smile, sly.

"Who says I don't want that?", the moment he comprehends what you just said his face reddens, and he thought he was being bold.

"Once you sober up we can talk about that", he tells you and you pout. You wanted to kiss him now, maybe if you did all the hurt you were feeling would go away. Maybe you just needed someone to make you forget about Jisung.

"But I want it now", you cross your arms, behaving like a child that didn't get their way.

"Do you like dancing?", he changes the subject. Your face brightens with his question.

"I LOVE dancing", you show him the choreography to queencard that's playing on the dance floor and he laughs at your messy steps, he's sure you're much better at it while sober.

"Then drink this and let's dance", he hands you another cup of water.

"Seungmin told me I could have a drink after a cup of water, but this makes two cups of water and no drink", you point out and Heeseung can't help but find the drunk you really cute.

"This water will help you so you won't have a bad hangover tomorrow", he says and you nod, that's a good point.

Super by seventeen starts playing and you finish downing the water, grabbing Heeseung's hand and dragging him to the dance floor.

Being a dance major, of course he knows the steps and he's so good there are moments you just stop and watch him in a daze. Actually, he knows the steps to every song playing after that too, you dance so much you're all sweaty and your legs are tired. You're totally sober now, feeling ecstatic. It's so good being at a party having so much fun.

You're jumping and smiling until you see him.

You stop in your tracks seeing Han Jisung staring at you from the other side of the dance floor, your smile fades away as soon as your eyes lock with his.

He looks sick, he lost a lot of weight considering the short period of time you haven't seen each other and he wasn't smiling like he always did. He takes a step in your direction and you automatically step away, your stomach sinking.

You're feeling your heart beat so fast it's overlapping with the loud music, you gulp feeling your legs weaken, why the hell are you having this reaction? He's the same Han Jisung you've known since you were a child, the only difference now is that he knows how you feel about him.

You can't avoid him until you get over your feelings, that won't work and you know it, you have to get used to being near him feeling nothing other than friendship, but you can't see him at that moment, you just can't. You're having fun, there's a handsome guy with you and you want to like him and not Jisung.

You grab Heeseung's hand and pull him away from the dance floor, walking outside so you can breathe some fresh air.

"Did something happen?", he asks, looking confused and worried.

"It just felt stiff in there for a moment", you say and he nods.

You didn't want to explain to him why you were not speaking to your best friend and how messed up your relationship with Han is right now. You want to forget about it and your way of doing it is right by your side, handsome and available.

"So, about that thing you said we could do once I sobered up… I'm sober now", you say and he blushes, analyzing you for a moment to see if you are telling the truth.

The last drink you took was more than an hour ago and you drank so much water after that, it's a miracle you still don't have to use the toilet.

"I don't want to do something you'll regret later", he says and you appreciate how considerate he is. But right now you don't want someone considerate, you want someone that'll sweep you off your feet and help you forget what you so desperately want to. So you get closer, caging him against the wall and tiptoeing, trying to get closer to his face.

"If you don't want to, it's okay. But if you're holding back because you think I'm drunk, I'm not", that was his cue to kiss you. His lips crashing sloppily onto yours, hands cupping your face then moving down to your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck trying to get closer than you already are. He's good, you've kissed enough people in your life to know that, yet you feel sick.

You feel bad and like a horrible person because you just know he can't compare to Jisung even though you never kissed your best friend.

You feel bad thinking about someone else while kissing Heeseung, he's so nice and sweet and you know he's not fooling around, if you give him the chance he's going to truly like you and you're only using him.

You step away sighing, seeing his brows furrowed and the confusion in his eyes.

"Was it that bad?", he jokes but you can see he's feeling hurt. "I'm not trying to brag, but I never got a reaction like that after a kiss"

You smile apologetically, looking for words to explain yourself.

"It was great and you're great", you begin, "I think you're too sweet, that's why I can't lead you on"

"What are you talking about?" he asks, even more confused.

"I'm in love with someone else and I know it sounds awful, I did try to get over him with you but I feel like you'll really like me if we don't stop right now and I'm not sure if I'll be able to be that person for you", you look at him, seeing the disappointment in his face. "I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person and you can hate me if you want"

He stares at you for a few moments, sighing and giving you a reassuring smile after.

"I don't think you're terrible, I think you're truly brave for coming clean like that", you're relieved, you were afraid he would say something mean and even though you feel like you deserve it, you're really fragile right now. "Thank you for telling me before I got too deep into this and I don't know, maybe we can be friends?"

"Absolutely, I would love that"

"So, do you want to go back inside?", he asks and you shake your head.

"I don't think so, I should probably go home", you say, you don't want to go back there to see Han again.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"It's okay, I'm going to text Seungmin and see where he's at but you can go inside, I'm going to stay here and get some more fresh air"

"Alright, I'll see you at the cafe"

You nod, seeing him walk away. Woah, you just let that masterpiece of a man go because you can't forget about a fucking unrequited love. You curse yourself, slapping your forehead.

After that, you text Seungmin telling where you are and asking where the hell he and Hannah went, sending the same message to her and waiting for their answer.

You sit on the grass, taking a deep breath. You feel a bit sick after seeing Jisung, you never thought you'd feel that way. Never in your worst nightmares did you think you would be afraid to talk to him, maybe you're scared of talking to him and feeling nothing, what if all of this was just in your head and you just needed some time apart to figure it out?

You hear steps close to you and pray it's not some horny couple trying to fuck near you, however, the moment you lay eyes on your best friend you actually wish it was a horny couple.

You get up in a jump, your stomach sinking and your head spinning. Why does it hurt so much suddenly? It feels like your chest is being torn apart and you can't do a thing to make it better.

Jisung looks worse up close, he has huge bags under his eyes and he's too pale.

You're worried about him, even though you can't have the luxury of that. Not when your insides are all messed up and you want to throw up. You walk past him without saying a word, you can't handle this right now, but he grabs your wrist holding you in place. You don't look at him, staring at the floor trying to get out of his grip.

"I miss you", he says and your heart drops to your stomach. Why is he doing this to you? It's not like being apart from your best friend is fun to you. "Can't you look at me?", he pleads but you can't find the courage to do that yet. "Please", but he sounds so desperate, you force yourself to do it.

You look at him, he's obviously drunk. Who the hell let him drink this much?

"What is it?", you sound more spiteful than you were planning and his eyes widen, releasing your arm from his grasp.

"Do you hate me now?", he asks and you sigh.

"Of course I don't hate you, you're my best friend", you say that but for some reason it doesn't feel right, it doesn't sound like the truth.

"Can't you come back home? I feel like shit everytime I wake up and you're not there"

"I told you I need time", you say, running your hands through your hair.

"Are you going to forget about me by fucking some random dude?", he asks and you glare at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I don't understand how that's any of your business"

"It is, because you told me you love me but you act like you never want to see my face again", he scoffs.

You feel mad, what's he trying to say? Should you keep hurting just because you love him?

"I can't sit around forever, waiting for you to look at me", you say and he steps closer to you.

"I'm looking at you right now, I- I'll be good to you, I'll like you back", the moment he finishes saying that, you can't control the tears running through your eyes.

Is that supposed to be good? He would be forced to date you so he could have you close to him?

"Why are you doing this to me?" You ask and he takes a step back startled with you tears, suddenly sobering up, "it's not easy for me to be away from you, you're my best friend, but I do have some bit of dignity left in me and I won't accept less than I deserve, even if that less is the man I love with me", you wipe your tears seeing him step closer, trying to reach your hand and you step away, "don't come close to me right now, I could never stay with you knowing you don't love me, you should know that"

You turn around trying to get away from him but stop on your tracks seeing Hannah, Seungmin, Chan and Changbin right there looking at you awkwardly. Of course, the humiliation is the cherry on the top. You pass through them feeling so embarrassed you want the earth to swallow you.

The ride home is awkward and silent. Hannah and Seungmin keep exchanging looks while you look out the window trying to figure how your life became this mess.

You really should have dated Jeongho when he asked you out in middle school, it was around that time that you realized you liked Han more than just a friend—when Haneul asked to be his date to the school festival and you wanted to punch her so hard. Maybe if you had dated that boy at that time you would have forgotten the feelings you had for your friend, maybe you would have brushed it off as some childhood crush, but no, you rejected Jeongho while Han went with Haneul to the school festival and you third wheeled the whole event earning nasty glances from her every time your best friend played two times the same game so he could win you a plush too.

Back then you still thought everything would be okay, if only you had him everything would be okay.

You start bawling without notice, crying so much you can't even breathe. Seungmin stops the car and Hannah gets to the back, hugging you and caressing your hair while whispering that everything will be fine and you really want to believe her.

You don't know how you got into Seungmin's apartment, you guess he carried you inside after dropping Hannah home but you're not sure. It's sunday so he's not up yet for you to ask and it doesn't actually matter, what matters is the absolutely pathetic scene you made at the party and in the car. You want to bury yourself into a hole and never come back, how the hell are you going to face your friends after they saw you being humiliated by Han like that?

You know he was drunk, of course he was. You know he didn't mean it, he was hurt and drunk and people act on feelings not reason when they are like that. But does he think you have no pride? Does he really think you would date him knowing he doesn't like you back?

It's different when you confessed to him, you knew he didn't like you that way. But if he told you that there was something there, that he was not going to promise you anything but someday he may like you back, that's all you needed to hear. However, that didn't happen. He told you with all the words that he doesn't like that way, that he doesn't feel the same way as you do, there was no room for interpretation, no room for what if's.

You get up, in need to distract yourself. This week is going to fly by, you have tutoring lessons using up all your free time so you just have to get through the day.

There are a lot of messages on your phone, you really don't want to read them because you know that other than Hannah's, it's awkward comforting words from your other friends.

Hannah: call me when you wake up

Hannah: let's go eat something delicious, what do you think? It's on me.

Hannah: are you still not up or are you ignoring me?

You: I just woke up, calm down girl

You: why would I ignore you though? I just have to brush my teeth and eat something then I'll call you.

Binnie: morning babes

Binnie: Hannie is such an asshole

Binnie: I'll date you if you want, you're hot it's a win win for me

You chuckle to Changbin texts, he's so sweet in the weirdest way.

You: I mean, you're hot too

You: I think we'd make an awesome couple

Chan: good morning, Y/N

Chan: we didn't hear anything last night, so please, don't be awkward or embarrassed around us.

You: good morning Channie, I know you heard

You: you should have matched your story with Changbin before texting me though

You: it's okay, alright? Of course I'll be embarrassed for the time being, but we're friends I won't be embarrassed forever.

You leave your phone on the couch and go to the bathroom. You look like shit, smeared makeup, hair disgusting and you're still wearing the same clothes. You turn on the hot water, taking your clothes off and entering the shower, the warmth embracing you as you feel more relaxed.

You put on something comfortable, it's Sunday, you're going to ask Hannah to come by and you're going to order takeout.

You call her number while eating because you know she's anxious.

"Hey babes, good morning", she picks up, cheerful as always.

"Good morning", you say, biting the toast you just made.

"So, what about going out and eating something really good?", she asks.

"Hm, I'm actually not in the mood to go out? Can't you come by, we order something and watch that movie you've been bugging me for the last month?"

"Yeah, sure. We can do that", she answers and you are happy she doesn't sound upset or disappointed. With all the shit you're pulling lately you're scared your friends are going to get tired of your bullshit and stop talking to you. You used to think no one wanted a friend that's always crying and whining, but they showed you that real friends help each other.

"So what time are you gonna come?"

"I will just take a shower and wait for the bus, so in maybe like an hour?", she guesses and you nod forgetting she can't see you.

"Okay, see you then"

You decide to clean the house while waiting, Seungmin is pretty organized and clean so there's nothing too difficult. You'll just wash the dishes and vacuum a little.

Hannah arrives later than she predicted, Seungmin is already up and cleaning his room. He scolded you because it's his day to do the dishes and you shouldn't have done it because it's not fair to you.

You think he's being extra nice to you because of what happened the night before and it's true, he was really scared when you cried in his car.

He has known you for almost five years and he never saw you cry like that, even on the night you came to his house after confessing to Han you didn't cry like that. This time was different, you had a soul crushing cry, he wanted to stop the car and go to the back to hug you the same as Hannah, but he knew you were already being comforted by the perfect person.

Han is his friend, he could never choose between you two. But he couldn't deny it, that was a dick move, how could he ever say that to someone that likes him? He basically told you that he could pretend to like you if you stayed with him.

And of course, Seungmin understands the fear of losing a friend, but doing what he did just increases the chances of you never wanting to see his face again.

You are seated on the couch, watching the movie Hannah is obsessed with at the moment. She already watched it five times alone and asks anyone she can find to watch it again with her, she even repeats some sentences together with the characters.

The pizza you ordered is almost gone, you didn't know you were so hungry until the smell hit your nose. Luckily or thanks to Seungmin and Heeseung, your hangover is not that bad and you want it to stay that way so you keep drinking lots of water.

You got through the day thanks to your friends, they kept you entertained the whole time so you wouldn't overthink or even think about Han.

You are doing that just now, looking at the ceiling in the dark room. You want it all to be a dream, maybe you would wake up tomorrow and still be in middle school, you'd take the opportunity and get over him at that time, that would have spared you of some big problems.

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A/N: So, I don't know how many parts this fic will have. If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing.

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owliellder · 8 months

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The Finer Details

Post DI! Leon Kennedy x f! Painter Reader

MDNI 18+

(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)

Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..

Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex 💔

Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare

Author's Note: This chapter is a tad shorter, my apologies. I almost didn't finish it cause my meds started to make me feel real gross tonight, but I managed! I am determined and powerful and strong 💪

Cross posted on AO3

Session 4: Adding Details

Ever since the last painting session with Leon a few days ago, he's been a lot more lively. He jokes more, laughs more, and flirts a lot more. Specifically with you.

It's only been a couple hours into the next session and he's already called you 'sweetheart' five times. You counted. Hard not to when the man decides to put on the most seductive tone to say it, honestly.

You've begun to reciprocate Leon's flirting since clearly he's not one to hide what he's after.

"Alright Romeo, I need you to stay still and in position for just a few minutes longer. I don't think you want me to accidentally paint you with those goo-goo eyes." Watching his poorly hidden panic made you giggle, his eyes averting to somewhere to the right. "Actually I need you to keep your eyes up here, not over there."

Leon groaned and rolled his eyes before turning them to look back at the spine of the easel, doing his best to hold a lax expression. "You're making this difficult. You have the picture!" He complained, eyebrows raising as he gestured to the stand sitting next to you.

"Yeah but- sit still- you're making the same goofy look in it like you were before." Once he resumed his position, you walked over to him from the easel to get a closer look at his expression, humming softly all the while. Leon was beginning to sweat, mostly due to having to sit still for as long as he had but now partially from your sudden proximity.

After getting a good look, you walked back over to the easel to continue painting, to which he let out a small sigh. He wanted to get to know you more, he should've tried that before you started the actual painting, but better late than never.

The man kept quite for roughly thirty minutes longer while you added smaller details to his face on the canvas, using probably the thinnest paintbrush he's ever seen.

"Is that thing even adding paint to the portrait? Or are you just pretending to get me to sit here longer?" There was that suggestive tone again, and maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you as they began to strain, but you could've swore he did that cheesy eyebrow wiggle at you.

You shook out your arm to give it a good stretch before placing it back where it was. "It's doing something. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

Leon threw his head back with a laugh at your response, causing you to give him a quick glare before huffing out your annoyance. "Alright, clearly you're growing antsy. Let's take a short break." You stood up from the swivel chair and rolled your shoulders back, cleaning off your paintbrush with the solvent sitting next to you in a small mason jar. You had a couple of the windows open due to the fumes of the paint and solvent, so no worries there.

"Thank god..." Leon stood up with a loud and exaggerated groan. He wasn't young anymore, holding even a relaxed position like that was hard work on the body. "Thought I was gonna lose my legs." The dramatics this man possessed was funny, you had to admit.

"It's not that bad and you know it." You set down the paintbrush and turned around to see him mocking you with his hand. "Do I need to circle back to calling you a toddler? Cause I will."

Leon used the hand he was mocking you with to wipe across his eyebrow before letting his arm fall back to his side. "There's no need for extremes." Your lazy eyebrow raise at his response was all he needed to immediately follow up with "Sorry, ma'am."

It didn't sound genuine, but you'll take it. You nodded before walking over to the bathroom, scrubbing the paint from your hands to the best of your abilities. You had to use dish soap since oil paint was hard to wash off, that oily sheen was a pain in the ass when trying to hold a paintbrush.

The painting was really starting to come along. You worked fast while still remaining diligent. Oil paints were difficult to use, needing extreme patience due to how slowly it dried, how easily it could smear, and how hard it was clean off. No matter how nice you wanted to dress for Leon, you had to wear your painting outfit: A designated cheap and oversized outfit you picked out years ago for the sole purpose of taking a beating. You would wipe off your paintbrushes onto it to avoid having to use a paper towels or a rag each time.

Regardless, you were still as cute as ever to Leon. In fact, seeing you care so much about your work to be covered in paint was only making him fall for you more. Oversized clothes looked real good on you, so good that he'd been busy thinking about how you'd look in his clothes, hence that nearly blissed out expression you had to snap him out of earlier.

You both decided to sit over in the living area, Leon splayed out across the soft rug to give his joints a rest. He'd gotten a good look at how the painting was coming along before assuming his spot on the rug.

It was non-stop compliments from him. You could handle compliments, you've heard so many over the years regarding your art, but Leon's compliments were different. Instead of only complimenting the art, he decided to slip in little comments about you directly along side them.

"I went back to the White House over the weekend to look at the other portraits you'd done..." He started, head resting on his arms as they laid behind his head. "Just to get a feel for how mine would look once it's done."

"Is it living up to the standard so far? There's quite a bit more that needs to get done, and then it has to dry." You looked down at him on the rug, massaging your hand so it didn't cramp up more than it already had. "There's no standard for you to live up to, sweetheart. You could draw a stick figure and I'd be blown away."

You laughed at the suggestion, turning your head to look out one of the large windows to try and hide your smile. Wooing a painter was easy, apparently.

"You're just full of little accolades, aren't you, Mr. Kennedy?" You sighed, resting your chin in your hand as your elbow sat on your thigh.

"I can't help it. Being painted by such a pretty girl brings out the worst in me." Never in all your years of being alive had someone worked so hard to flatter you. Every single comment he made included something that had you flustered and struggling to respond.

Leon sat up on his elbows and looked over at you, that smirk as clear as day. He loved the way you could barely handle yourself at his compliments. "What're you thinkin' 'bout over there, angel?"

You let your hand fall into your lap as you looked back at him, giving his smirk a soft smile in return. "I could ask you the same question, calling me all these nicknames and such." It was only fair of you to ask, curiosity getting the better of you.

A little caught off guard, Leon hummed and pursed his lips, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he thought. What was he doing, exactly?

"Well, whaddya think I'm doing?" Yeah, that was good. Instead of answering himself, he'll just drag it out of you. "Well, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you're flirting with me." Your smile turned a bit more mischievous as you leaned towards him.

"Well, you'd be absolutely right, then." He responded with a chuckle, lowering his volume so he could fall right back into a seductive tone. "I got lucky enough to get my own painting. Even luckier to have you be the one painting me."

You gave him a small "mhm" as you nodded your head slowly, your tongue peaking out to wet your bottom lip as you listened to him talk. It took awhile, but eventually you managed a reply. "So... what exactly are you looking to do with all that sweet talk, hm?"

"Take you out on a date." His response was fast and it caught you off guard. Leon was so forward with what he wanted. When it came to the few people you'd dated in the past, you had to practically drag any sort of info from them. Your silence had brought him to sit all the way up now, body facing you as he sat with his legs crossed. "Is it working at all?"

It took a couple more seconds for you to nod, moving your hand to cover your mouth as you giggled. "Yeah, I think it is. Might need to keep it up just in case, though."

"Bummer, now I get to distract you even more while you paint me?" You stood up and placed your hand flat on his face, gently pushing his head back as you walked past him. "I'll paint on you if you distract me."

The session lasted a total of five hours, pausing for a couple breaks in between. You were now thoroughly painted out; hand cramping, eyes straining, and even with the windows open the smell of the paint and the solvent to clean it off the brushes had given you a slight headache. Leon was definitely tired also, given he actually fell asleep in the chair.

You decided to call it a day at that, patting him on the shoulder to wake him. "Time to get up and take your meds, old man." Leon startled awake, sucking in a harsh breath through his nose as he reoriented himself. When did he fall asleep?

You had already walked into the bathroom to wash your hands off, giving him the opportunity to wake up enough to stand. He yawned, walking over to look at how far along you'd gotten.

The painting immediately pulled him from his sleepy state, eyes widening with shock. You said you still had quite a bit left to do and it looked like this? It was like you'd ripped this straight from the 17th century. Leon was in awe. He looked good in this- no, far better than good. You'd captured his likeness better than the photo.

Seeing the man staring at your painting with his jaw dropped after walking out of the bathroom made you smile. "You like it?" You asked quietly while shaking your hands out as you hadn't dried them off all the way.

"No, I love it. You've got magic in those hands of yours, sweetheart." Leon crossed his arms, walking over to stand right in front of you. You clicked your tongue at him before your hand in front of him dismissively. "I wouldn't say it's magic, just years of drawing and painting endlessly until I got to the spot I wanted to be."

Leon closed his eyes and shook his head playfully, chuckling as he did so. "So humble of you." He followed you back over to the easel, watching you cover up the paints you were using with curious eyes. "About that date..."

You cocked an eyebrow, looking up at him through your eyelashes as you continued to carefully cover your paints. "What about it?"

"Just wondering when and where you'd want to go." The man grinned at you lazily, doing his best to disguise how nervous he actually was. "Hmm.." You glanced over at the wall clock you had sitting far above the light switches next to the entrance door, taking note of how late it was. "I'm pretty tired and I'm sure you are too, but how about we order something to eat here?"

Leon seemed surprised by your suggestion, grin widening as he nodded vigorously. "Plus, I am not going out looking like I just got assaulted with a paintball gun."

The two of you decided on something easy; pizza and soda. Leon opted to wear one of your many aprons to avoid getting any grease on his suit which made for an easy joke about him being a house-husband. Even though it was a technically a first date, both of you felt so comfortable with each other already, like you'd known each other for years. It was strange, but in a good way.

Leon was easy to get along with once he opened up. He really was a charming guy, even managing to get you to laugh with those corny ass dad jokes he loved so much. How such a man had gotten away with being single for so long baffled you.

The same went for you. Leon felt like you being single was just a fluke. There was no way someone as talented and gorgeous as you hadn't been swept off your feet yet. It was selfish of him for thinking it, but fuck was he ecstatic about that.

It was about 11pm when the two of you decided to call it a night, the hours spent bonding over random, seemingly meaningless stuff had really loosened both you and Leon up.

"Am I able to come back tomorrow and see you?" Leon asked in such a soft voice, motorcycle helmet in hand as he the other rested up against the doorway leading out of the building. He felt vulnerable for wanting to see you again like this.

"I won't be here tomorrow, need to give my hands a bit of a break." You giggled quietly, holding your palm out in front of him for emphasis. "But I can give you my address if you want to visit. I don't mind."

Those butterflies in his stomach fluttered at your proposal, barely able to nod after feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket once you texted him your address. He tried to act confident, having gone over every scenario possible in his head, yet you'd gone off script and he wasn't quite sure what to do anymore.

Seeing how flustered he'd become, you waved him closer, smiling as he bent over slightly. Leon thought you were gonna whisper something to him, that thought alone had him blushing, but feeling the gentle press of your lips against his had him struggling to breathe. He barely had a chance to react before you pulled away, his lips parted slightly as he stared at you.

You reached up and gently patted his cheek, running your hand along the stubble that had started to grow back. "Let me know when you wanna come over tomorrow, alright? Give me a little time to get dressed. I've looked ratty enough around you."

Leon wanted to protest that statement, you were far from ratty, but you just shushed his stuttering and nudged him out the door, giggling as he stumbled down the steps. He kept turning his head back to look at you every couple steps, feeling like some lovesick teenage boy who couldn't get his feet to work.

He was a little scared to drive home considering how uncoordinated he felt, but he made it back in one piece. Once sat on his bed, all he could think about was you and that damn painting. Leon didn't know what he was expecting when it came to that, honestly, but you seriously outdid yourself in his eyes.

Then you just had to flirt back with him, agree to a little date, and kiss him? Do you even know how hard it was to hide his boner from you?

He really did feel like a teenage boy, a simple kiss having him harder than a rock. Not to mention the drive home was uncomfortable since he had to position himself just right on the seat or else the constant vibration from his motorcycle would seriously cause him to crash.

Leon was weak. He hadn't felt this way in such a long time, but he guessed the newfound attraction came with the subconscious acceptance of his retirement. It's what made sense in his head.

God did he want you, masturbating in the shower to you wasn't enough, he needed you. All he could think about was your soft hands touching him, his hands all over your body, maybe even those pretty eyes of yours looking into his as he loved on you all night long.

The age gap was a bit of a worry to him in the beginning, mostly being insecure about his own age, but that worry was quickly brushed off when you kissed him tonight. You were a big girl. You knew what you wanted.

Leon felt so lucky that you reciprocated. All he'd felt since his retirement was grief, guilt, and pity for himself. Now you had him feeling like he was on top of the world and he couldn't ask for anything more. This little bit of sweetness in his life was so enticing, and of course he was going to follow it for as long as you'd let him.

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callmelola111 · 11 months

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guilty conscience ☆ part one

⭑ part 2 , part 3 , part 4 , part 5 →

synopsis: it’s your first year at college and you’re 1,500 miles away from home. you’d feel completely alone if it wasn't for your attractive roommate ellie. will this attraction complicate the already uncharted territory? or will she be the answer to all your problems?

|✯| pairing & wc: college!ellie williams x roommate!reader. wc: 1.4k

|✯| cw (by part): 18+ themes (MDNI), fem reader, modern au!ellie, feelings of angst, sexual themes on like the verge of smut, some swearing

a/n: hey lovelies!!!! this my first time posting a fic so plz enjoy. feedback is appreciated as long as it is constructive. im new to all of this, and still learning. i plan on making this into a series so expect more coming soon. sorry if this chapter is very reader-centric. once reader gets to know ellie better, i’ll write more about her perspective. this will be a slow burn despite part 1 already having sexual themes (lol sorry, couldn't help it), but do expect eventual real smut <3 <3 (p.s: lets b mutuals, message me!!)

As you packed the last of your belongings into your parents' 2008 Toyota, excitement was the last thing you were feeling. When speaking about college, most people explained this coming of age experience with phrases like “change”, “hard work”, and “no sleep”. These pessimistic descriptions made the big move that much harder. Unlike your friends from high school, you were crossing multiple states to attend your dream school. You would’ve been stuck in your home state too if it wasn’t for your impressive art portfolio which earned you a full-ride. Art school is where you know you’re meant to be, but the anxiety of doing it alone lingered.

Of course you were happy to be escaping the grapples of your small Republican town, but you couldn’t help but wonder if 1,500+ miles would really be the solution to all your problems.

★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★

“God where is she??” you grunt to yourself. The brown swivel chair provided as dorm furniture was your only source of entertainment. You spun around in circles, checking your phone every few minutes. You were anticipating a text from Ellie Williams. Through the cracked screen your phone read 11:03pm and the notification wall was empty.

Ellie is supposed to be your roommate. The two of you had met through the university's online roommate matching system. Your interactions were limited to the few texts sent back and forth about move-in times and who’s bringing what. Ellie was supposed to show up 5 hours ago to move in her stuff but she never arrived. You consider messaging her to check-in but Ellie’s previous texts wreaked of un-interest so you thought it best to leave her alone. You knew nothing about the girl, or even what she looked like, but with her stand-offish demeanor and your overthinking, a friendship didn’t seem in the cards.

Another half-hour passes before the sound of keys rattling pulls you out of your trance. Realizing you’re about to be face-to-face with your new college roommate, you snap up from your slouched position and push your hair behind your ears in preparation.

The slender door lazily swings open and your gaze quickly shifts to the faux wood floors. There was a sense of hesitancy, like you weren’t ready to see your fate just yet. A pair of dirty, black converse covered in writing sulk into your line of sight, triggering you to look up. As you did, your eyes were met with the most jaw-droppingly beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. Peeking through her messy auburn locks were piercing jade green eyes and an angular nose scattered with freckles.

It was Ellie Williams, and she was the epitome of “cool girl". Your head spun with all kinds of thoughts as your physical body went idle. You sat before Ellie gawking until she broke the awkward silence that had gone unnoticed by you.

“Uh, hi… I’m sorry for coming in so late… some stuff came up. But uh, I’m Ellie Williams.” She held her right hand out towards you to shake it. It took you a second, but you snapped out of her spell and quickly shook her hand in return.

“Shit- Ellie, hey, it’s uh, nice to finally meet you.” You stumbled through your words as nerves overpowered your usual confidence. There was an obvious awkward tension between the two of you. A typical feeling when moving in with a complete stranger.

Silence loomed in the air as Ellie took a stationary tour around the small, 12 x 20 ft. dorm. She surveyed your side of the room, taking note of any items that could hint towards who you are as a person. Her eyes stopped on a band poster you had hung up just hours ago.

“You listen to Sleater-Kinney?” she inquired.

“Hell yeah, they’re one of my favorite bands. Honestly anything in the riot grrrl music scene is right up my alley. Do you listen?” you replied with more enthusiasm and less nerves than before.

“Yeah, yeah I do,” Ellie answered nonchalantly. You took note of her answer realizing what it could mean. Sleater-Kinney was like the gayest band ever, and Ellie definitely knew that. Maybe she just likes them for their music, but it's possible she also found the lyrics laced with sapphic pining to be relatable. Selfishly, you were dying to know her sexual orientation. Ellie seemed like too much of a stranger to ask her outright and so the game of reading between the lines began. Little did you know, Ellie was wondering the exact same thing about you.

It was getting late and Ellie decided to save unpacking for the morning when she wasn’t so tired. You climbed onto your stiff dorm mattress and fluffed your pillows for sleep. Ellie did the same in her bed.

“Is it cool if I turn out the lights now?” you asked, still navigating the new social dynamic as roommates. Ellie replied with a gentle hum and you hit the switch turning the room pitch black. As you lay in bed all you can think of is Ellie and the future. You didn’t know what it was, but you knew she was special, and you yearned to understand her. With these thoughts in mind, your eyes slowly begin to droop and you slip into a deep slumber.

The next thing you know Ellie is sitting at the foot of your bed staring straight into your soul. Her beautiful green eyes felt especially intense as the rest of her face was shadowed from the dark room.

“Ellie- I-” you could barely get out 2 words as you sat up from bed flustered. You felt like prey and she was the hunter… and you liked it. Ellie slowly inched her way toward you, crawling on hands and knees. She didn’t have to say anything, you knew what she wanted.

Your plush thighs sat between her knees and her crotch hovered over yours, heat being exchanged. You wanted her so bad. You needed her. Ellie took your chin in her hand and pulled you in close. You exchanged breaths as her lips brushed up against yours. She couldn’t wait any longer and pressed her face into yours, capturing your lips which she so longingly desired for. You fell back onto your pillows and she followed intently.

Her body lay pressed against yours and she desperately shoved her wet tongue into your supple mouth. It was ravenous and you wanted more. You knew she did too as you began to feel the rotation of her hips digging into your pelvis. The heavy breaths coming from her swollen lips were in sync with the fervent grinding. You bucked your hips towards her in a frenzy. Ellie took her veiny hand and ran it along your waistband. As she began to slip it into your pants... you woke up to discover your own hands cupping the heat below and Ellie nowhere to be found.

“What the fuck.” is all you could say. You pulled your hand from your pants and stared at the slick spider-webbing between your fingers. God this was humiliating. You climbed out of bed to wash your hands and glanced at the clock. It was 7:15am and Ellie was already gone. That seemed kinda odd for a 19 year old college student. You wondered where she had disappeared to so early in the morning.

Soon, the over-thinker took over and you began to grapple with the possibility that you said something out loud during your naughty wet dream. What if Ellie heard you? God what if you moaned her name?? What would you even say if she brought it up? Before you could formulate a hypothetical response, Ellie walked right through the door.

“AHh-” you yelped, startled by her presence. Ellie backed into the doorway holding a coffee in each hand.

“God, sorry, you scared me.” you explained. Ellie shuffled back inside, twiddling her thumbs trying to decide what to say.

“Sorry, I just left to grab some coffee early this morning. I couldn’t sleep.” She continued, “I brought you one too. As an apology, for any trouble I might have caused by showing up at almost midnight to move in…”. Your cheeks flushed with color and you hoped she didn’t notice.

“Oh, thanks Ellie, that's nice. I promise there was no harm done.” you answered, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. Seemingly enough, this news meant she was awake while you were, ya know... dreaming. Ellie definitely wouldn’t bring a pervert coffee though. Right? Either way, you knew one thing for sure, you've got to have her.

← masterlist ⭑ part 2 →

#ellie williams #wlw #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie x fem reader #tlou 2 #the last of us #ellie smut #sapphic #ellie williams series #ellie williams smut #ellie tlou #tlou 2 smut #the last of us 2 #ellie x you #ellie williams fan fiction

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marvel-ous-m · 11 months

Text

Eddie Munson’s Guide for How to Adopt a Jock in Four Easy Steps (2/5)

Part One

Part Three

A.N.: Um... guys, WHAT?! The outpouring of love and support for a blurb I had sitting in my Notes app for the last two months has been absolutely wild. I’ve been writing for the better part of the last day, and this is now a ~7k, five chapter fic that I will be posting to Tumblr as well as my AO3. I can’t thank y’all enough for all of the support, and I hope you like where this is heading!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Steve finished ranting about the middle schoolers he spent time with, Eddie launched into a description of the campaign he was working on for Hellfire. Steve listened intently as Eddie spoke, slowly making his way through Eddie’s sandwich and the bottle of water until both were finished. Eddie kept talking after Steve finished his food, distracting himself by going on a tangent about goblins in D&D. He was pulled from his rant at the sound of a soft thump- which, Eddie realized with surprise, was Steve’s forehead slumping down far enough to hit the tabletop.

Steve sat up almost immediately when his head hit the table, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

Eddie snorted at Steve’s antics, piling his books together. “Damn Stevie, I didn’t realize I was that boring.”

“Stevie?” Steve whispered under his breath, then shook his head, shooting a sheepish smile Eddie’s way. “You didn’t bore me- I liked it, really, I just-”

“Hey, Steve?” Eddie cut Steve off, smirking at him. “You don’t need to make excuses. No offense man, but you kinda look like shit, I can tell you haven’t been sleeping well. Speaking of which- why are you even here? You should probably be at home resting, not zombie-walking your way through a day of classes.”

Steve hummed at that, shrugging and resting his cheek on his palm. “S’better here than it is at home.”

Eddie frowned at that, his brow creasing. Steve had just told him a few minutes ago that his parents hadn’t been home in three months, and all of Hawkins knew he was the only child of the Harringtons. What was so bad about spending the day in a giant mansion that most definitely had central heating? Eddie would kill to spend these winter months in a house like that instead of under approximately fifty blankets (while somehow still freezing his ass off) in the trailer.

Steve breathed out a small puff of air, and Eddie noticed that his eyes had slipped shut in the minute-or-so that Eddie had been distracted by his internal monologue. Shit, Steve was really exhausted. Eddie sighed and stood, quietly loading his books into his backpack. After zipping up his backpack and pulling it onto his shoulder, Eddie gently shook Steve’s shoulder, wincing sympathetically. The last thing he wanted to do was wake Steve up, but Mrs. Boliene would have a fit if she saw Steve like this.

He was definitely not expecting Steve to practically jump out of the chair, or for his breathing to suddenly grow erratic, in response to being woken up. There was something in his eyes- a kind of fear that Eddie could only associate to something he saw in Wayne’s eyes after waking his uncle from a particularly bad nightmare.

Eddie held his hands up, taking a step back from Steve. “Hey- sorry, it’s just- Ms. Boliene can be kinda a bitch about people sleeping in the library. I know a place you can rest for a while if ya want. Let’s be honest, you probably aren’t going to be learning anything if you go to the rest of your classes today.”

Steve clenched his right hand a couple times- Eddie would file that particular coping mechanism away to ask about later- then nodded, his breathing (mostly) back to a normal pace. “Sorry about that. Yeah man, whatever you say.”

Eddie nodded, let his arms drop, then cleared his throat. “Right, just go ahead and follow me, King Steve.”

Steve sighed and stood with a wince, gathering the garbage from his (Eddie’s) lunch before following the other boy out of the library. He tossed the trash in the garbage bin outside the library then took a couple of long strides forward to catch up to Eddie. “Can you um- maybe, like… not call me that?”

“Sure thing, Steve-o. Here, hang a right.” Eddie turned down a hallway and Steve followed, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“That’s it?”

Eddie stopped walking when they reached the drama room door, shrugging. “Yeah man, that’s it. You don’t wanna be called something, I’m not gonna call you that. Nicknames are supposed to be fun, dude.”

Steve nodded in understanding, but his brow was furrowed- he was clearly deep in thought. Eddie stood there a moment, waiting for Steve to say something. When it became apparent that the jock was going to keep his thoughts to himself, Eddie smiled tightly and opened the drama room door, walking past the gaggle of students sitting together and eating lunch at the front of the room. He ignored their stares and walked to the back of the room to a set of double doors, which he opened and then led Steve through. “This is where Hellfire meets. You can lay down in the corner over there on the couch cushions and blankets. I set that up last year for my mid-morning, skip-P.E. nap time.”

Steve blinked in surprise, then turned to Eddie with a playful smirk. “Is that why you’re repeating this year? Slept through too much P.E.?”

Eddie chuckled at that. Harrington had some sass to him, huh? “One of the many reasons. What can I say, getting sweaty for some dumbass P.E. teacher just doesn’t agree with me.” ‘There are much better things to get sweaty for’, a distant voice in Eddie’s head whispered. Eddie pushed that thought away, shaking his head at himself. Harrington was not the kind of guy to think those kinds of things around.

Steve giggled to himself- honest to god giggled, it was quite possibly the best sound that Eddie had ever heard- then stepped into the room, taking in the variety of chairs surrounding the giant table and the various decorations on the walls. Suddenly, Steve’s playful smile disappeared, turning to a grimace. “Um, are you sure it’s okay for me to sleep here, Eds? Don’t you have Hellfire here later tonight? I wouldn’t want to intrude-”

“Stevie, I promise it’s fine. You’ll probably be awake by the time we’re in here playing through the campaign anyways. Just don’t worry about it and get some rest, okay?”

Steve nodded, walking to the corner and sitting down on the cushions. Eddie smiled reassuringly at him from his place at the doorway, then waved goodbye to Steve. “I’m off to English and Chem. I’ll be back in about two hours, but I could lock the doors in the meantime?” Eddie pulled a lanyard out of his pocket, grinning. “Perks of being club president. I’m the only one with a key other than the drama teacher, and he never comes in here. I just figured- maybe you would sleep better knowing that no one can get in? You would be able to get out, obviously, but- y’know what? Maybe this is creepy, pretend like I didn’t say anything-”

“-Thank you, Eddie. I… would appreciate that.” Steve cut off Eddie’s (admittedly awkward) rant and punctuated his request with a yawn, scrubbing a tired hand over his face.

“Yeah, yeah of course dude, whatever you need.” Eddie stepped out and locked the door behind himself, then slumped his back against the door. Step One: Get Steve Harrington to Take Care of Himself, complete. Time for Step Two.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A.N.- tagging those who requested/insinuated a request, lmk if you’d like to be added/taken off the tag list.

@ellietheasexylibrarian @cuips-not-cute @melodymeddler @i-have-three-feelings @sc00ps-ahoy @singmeyoursimpsong @patchworkgargoyle @spectrum-spectre @devondespresso @thesuninyaface @obsessivlyme @angeldreamsoffanfic @carlyv @nburkhardt @inspirationorinsanity @rebelspykatie @my2amgaythoughts @lavenderagenda @just-a-tiny-void @mamafaithful @breadboi66 @beholdingloser @randomfandomcontent @oftirnanog @yellowdevilkitten @steves-strapcollection @keep-er-steddie

#stranger things #steddie #my writing #steve harrington #eddie munson #1984 steddie meeting au my beloved #stranger things fic #steddie fic #pre s4 #pre s4 meeting

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apompkwrites · 1 year

Text

the grown-up kingscholar || leona kingscholar

masterlist characters: no canon, atiena, nuru, jabali, jabori (OCs) genre: fluff contains: some self-deprecation near the end of the chapter, kinda filler chapter? summary: mwezi miji now houses a new resident. and as time passes on, the villagers grow older. the people who were once children now grow into teenagers, hoping to make a name for themselves in the small village. notes: another transition ig? gonna get into some things next chapter and then (hopefully) NRC!! parts: [og post] | [the lesser kingscholar (1)] | [the broken kingscholar (2)] | [the two kingscholars (2.5)] | [the runaway kingscholar (3)] | [the outland kingscholar (4)] | [the grown-up kingscholar (5)] | [the guardian kingscholar (6)]

the streets of mwezi miji were quiet, the same way it's always been for years and years. there was no hustle and bustle like the kingscholar territory or constant tustles like the dens. mwezi miji was nice and calm and quiet.

"nuru! (name)! hurry up!" or not. "i will break your door down!"

"knock it off, would ya?" you growled, peering out from the open window. you rubbed your eyes, your ears and tail flicking in annoyance. you could hear jabali growl more complaints from outside as you walk away from the window.

once you turned around, you were met with the familiar sight of black wings outstretched atop the bed. with a light groan, you threw the blankets off of the form on the bed, causing nuru to whine and curl up into himself. his shoulders hunched up to cover his face and his wings shook.

"nnngh..." you merely rolled your eyes at the muffled whine, slapping at one of nuru's wings.

"if you act like this, i'm leaving you behind," you threatened, already halfway out the door when you hear a dull thud behind you.

"wait! wait, wait, wait!" when you look back into nuru's room, all you could see was a bundle of blankets on the floor by his bed with his wings tangled up in the fabric. your tail swished behind you as you watched nuru's head pop up from the blanket, shaking hurriedly to fluff up his hair.

it only took him a few minutes to throw his fluffy coat over his shoulders and rush over to the door, practically bouncing on his feet as he stared at you expectantly. "i'm ready, i'm ready!"

"sorry for the wait" was all you could say as you and nuru met with the twins outside. jabali rolled his eyes and slapped nuru's arm, causing the latter to wince in pain.

"can't believe you're the one who's always getting up late," he huffed. "you're the one got us into this, right?"

"...i thought it'd be cool," nuru pouted, shuffling closer to you toe hide. "i mean... i wanted to do this with my friends."

"a-and we get that!" jabori chimed in, holding out his hands nervously. "it's just... what jabali's saying is..."

"just wake up on time!" jabali finished, crossing his arms. "now hurry up! your mom's gonna have our head for this..."

"ah! i-i'll take the blame, don't worry!"

"--you both will report back by the end of your shift," was all you heard as you hurried up to atiena.

it hadn't felt long since you arrived at mwezi miji but simple observations made you realize just how much had changed since you did. atiena's hair had gotten longer and streaks of gray hair peeked out from the black. although as strong as they had been the first night you met her, her wings seemed to droop the more out of use they were.

it wasn't often she went out on patrol nowadays. back then, you remembered waking up in the middle of the night to atiena arriving back home, nuru curled up in her arms before she tucked him into the bed in your room. or rather his room. you were just borrowing his room at that time until a new one was made.

now she delegated her old patrol routes, something she claimed was necessary now that she was getting older. it was a strange thought, you realized. you had run away from the kingscholar territory about 2 years ago. and yet, in only two years, so much had changed. your friends had changed. and so did you.

"there you four are," atiena's voice startled you out of your thoughts. before anyone could even think, jabali pushed nuru up to atiena.

"blame your son, guardian," he grumbled, earning a loud squeak from nuru.

"s-sorry about being late, ma-- guardian!" nuru whimpered, pressing his hands together.

"i just expect this from you at this point," atiena sighed, shaking her head. "just... get ready for your rounds. same groups as before."

"yes, ma'am!" with that, the four of you split into two groups. nuru let out a sigh beside you as jabali and jabori ran off somewhere else.

"ma's gonna be on my tail by the time we get home," he whined, leaning into your arm.

"you do this to yourself at this point," you counter, lightly nudging him away. "now quit your pouting. we gotta get to our rounds."

"why do we have to do the outlands," he huffed, his wings stretching out in preparation. "why can't we just get the outskirts or something? why do we have to go all the way out there?"

"because your mom trusts us to survive?" you answered with a raise of your brow. "we've been over this, like, every time we patrol."

"uuugh," nuru drawled on before taking off into the air, flying a few feet above you. "it's so cold up here..."

"deal with it," you rolled your eyes. "i know you're saying that because you wanna go home. the cold doesn't bother you and i know that."

"... let's just get this patrol over with." you laugh in response as nuru takes off, his form shrinking into a barely visible speck in the mass of stars.

and all that you were left with were your thoughts. patrolling was routine at this point, nothing ever really happened except for the occasional wanderer you would run into. and you were grateful for that.

you could only think about what you left behind when you were on patrol. your mind often wandered back to that time, the words still fresh in your mind. the horror of what could have happened that night had you stayed behind was always lingering in your memory.

but there was also a part of your brain that couldn't help but think about them. falena was supposed to visit you the morning after you left. and you were far gone by the time he had woken up. so what happened?

did he ever end up going to your room that day? did the elders ever chastize you in the kingdom for leaving? did leona ever find out about your disappearance?

there was a part of you that wished they did. you hoped falena went to your room. you hoped leona was told of your sudden disappearance. and, deep down, you hoped that the elders did admonish your being to the kingdom.

you deserved it, didn't you?

...no. no you didn't deserve that. the others made that very clear the day you told them what had happened. you now knew that you were worth so much more. and now you truly believed that.

but that thought, that little voice in the back of your head, never went away. you weren't sure why but it was there. always mocking you at late hours of the night when you were wide awake.

always telling you that you deserved everything you had gotten.

"(name)!" nuru's shout echoed through your ears. "(name), we gotta go!"

"what...?"

"mwezi miji! it's..." nuru's voice seemed to get caught in his throat. "the dens! the beastmen from the dens are headed towards mwezi miji!"

...how far exactly idd you wander?

how long would it take you both to get back home?

taglist: @brokenncrown @help-meplz @destinationdesignation@rainys-personal-garden@kalims@sxftiebee@luxaryllis@auld-a@the-dumber-scaramouche@ayra2452008@tinywho-man@minteaspoon@kitty-chan33@hornehlittleweeblet2@letskeepitsimpleshallwe@atsuki-mitsuri@catgirlwannabe@miss-puregotti@havens-not-here @valka-230 @sacrificialwife1 @cherrykissesss890 @nothing-leave-me--alone @carmelchocola @mulandi @a-random-bored-person @shuriiiewrites @chaos-inperson

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland scenarios #twisted wonderland fluff #twst fluff #twisted wonderland leona #twisted wonderland leona x reader #twst leona #twst leona x reader #leona x reader #twisted wonderland leona kingscholar #twisted wonderland leona kingscholar x reader #twst leona kingscholar #twst leona kingscholar x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #black sheep

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livyjh · 8 months

Text

Temptation ch.2

Co-written with @fhatbhabie

No Outbreak!Dbf!Joel x Fem!Plus size!Reader

Series Masterlist

Rating: EXPLICIT 18+

Summary: After you break things off with your toxic boyfriend, you move back home with your dad. His best friend and neighbor, Joel Miller, takes an interest in you. But you’re the one who has to convince him to make the first move.

A/N: okay, we’re too excited for you guys to read more so we will be posting a new chapter (on this account) every 4 or 5 days. Reminder: reader and Sarah are both in their mid 20s, Joel is in his mid 50s, reader’s dad is in his early 50s.

Chapter warnings: teasing, a little roughness, talk of food/cooking/eating, mention of boner 👀

Divider art by: @saradika

Over the next couple weeks you leave your curtains open all day, every day.

You never do catch Joel watching you, but you’ve seen him sleeping a couple of times. He goes to sleep around 9pm, you’ve noticed. You’re still looking for a job so you stay up late pretty much every night.

You’ve made a habit of changing clothes in front of the window, usually faced away so that Joel thinks you don’t know he’s watching. He’s gotta be watching…

Sarah comes back from college today which meant you’d definitely be seeing Joel sometime this week for dinner with him, Sarah, and your dad.

Like she read your mind, Sarah sent you a text.

Sarah: picking up Starbucks. Almost home. Want anything?

You: iced chai latte. You’re a lifesaver!

In a matter of 10 minutes you heard the honk of a small car outside.

You went out and noticed Joel’s truck was gone. He must still be at work today. It was nearing 3pm which meant he’d hopefully be home in a couple hours or so.

“Sarah!” You smile as you walk across the yard to her car.

“Hey!” She shouts back with a grin.

You round her side of the car and give her a hug.

“Girl, what have you been doing?” Sarah pulls back and looks you up and down.

“What do you mean?” You blush a little.

“You’re just like… way hot.” She laughs.

“Oh, you know, had that post breakup makeover and here I am.” You flip your hair dramatically.

“Okay, well you’re gonna have to tell me how to make my boobs look like yours.” She giggles and reaches into the car before leaning back out and handing you your drink.

“Ha. Thanks.” You smile. “How much do I owe you?”

“You’re kidding.” She snorts and closes the driver door before opening the trunk. “It’s on me.”

“Thank you.” You nod. “Can I help carry anything?”

“Nah, I’m okay. Thanks though.” She pulls a medium sized suitcase and a small backpack out of her trunk. She slings the backpack over her shoulder before walking past you toward the house.

You guys talked from time to time but you hadn’t had the chance to tell her you moved back yet.

“You just happen to be visiting right now, or…?” Sarah asked.

You followed her into the house after she unlocked the door. “Uh… no. Actually I moved back in with my dad a couple weeks ago.”

“What about Thomas?” She asks.

You rub the back of your neck awkwardly as she sets her things down. “We broke up. It was… messy.”

“Shit. I’m sorry, Y/n.” She frowns.

“I’ve realized pretty quickly that I’m better off without him.” You shrug.

“Good.” She nods. “Good for you.” She takes a sip of her coffee and sits on the couch, patting the spot next to her.

You sat down by her and she turned on the tv to a music station. “Alright. Tell me everything.”

You took a deep breath and a long sip from your iced latte. “Okay…”

You tell her all the details. The way that your boyfriend had stopped caring about you; both in bed and out of it. The way he would spend way more time out with his friends than with you. Stopped holding your hand in public. All the bullshit he put you through.

Sarah then told you about the nasty breakup with her boyfriend that she’d been dating since senior year of high school.

“At least you didn’t get cheated on.” Sarah frowned. “But still, I’m sorry you went through that.”

“Same to you. Men are… the worst.” You roll your eyes.

“The worst, right?!” She laughs.

You giggle too but stop when you hear the front door open. You turn to look and see Joel stopped in his tracks in the doorway.

“Dad!” Sarah jumps up and runs over to Joel to hug him.

“Hey, honey.” He smiles and hugs her back, sneaking a glance at you. A glance that didn’t go unnoticed by you.

You feel yourself start to blush so you look away, reading the music related fun fact on the bottom of the tv screen.

“So glad to have you home.” Joel says as he and Sarah both pull out of the hug.

“Me too.” She nods.

“Hi, Y/n.” Joel gives you a modest wave.

“Hi, Mr. Miller.” You give him a half smile, trying to seem unbothered. After all… he is old. Maybe he just forgot to text you back… but you doubt it.

Sarah doesn’t pick up on the slight tension in the room, thankfully. “Okay, dad, we have to have spaghetti for dinner tonight.”

“Gonna have to run out for some bread and sauce.” Joel tells her.

“I can grab it.” You stand up. “Been meaning to run to the store anyways.”

“Thanks, Y/n.” Sarah smiles.

You nod and head for the door now that Joel was out of the way. “See you guys in an hour.”

“Bye!” Sarah calls as you close the door behind you to leave.

***

You go to the store for bread and spaghetti sauce, also picking up a few snacks and hygiene items for yourself. When you get home you decide to change your bra out for a push-up. Not that you really needed it, but… you wanted to show off to Joel tonight.

You left the rest of your outfit the same, not wanting anyone to say anything about you changing between an hour ago and now.

You were in a black v-neck shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. Around your wrist is a dainty chain bracelet. You’re wearing some purple converse too. Your hair is down, kind of wavy at the moment.

Looking over yourself in your mirror, you decide you look good. You hear your dad come in the house and you go downstairs to greet him.

“Hey.” You say as you walk into the kitchen to see your dad grabbing a beer from the fridge. “Long day at work?” You laugh.

“You have no idea.” Your father shakes his head.

“Spaghetti at the Miller’s tonight. Let’s go.” You smile and grab the food off the counter.

“Sounds good. I didn’t know what I was going to have for dinner anyways.” Your dad shrugs and follows you next door.

You knock and then let yourself in. “Hello!” You call out as you walk in.

“Come on in!” Joel calls from the kitchen.

You and your dad go into the house and past the living room to the kitchen.

“Hey!” Sarah smiles wide. “Oh hey, Mr. Y/l/n!”

“Sarah.” Your dad grins and gives her a hug.

You and Joel make eye contact across the room until Sarah’s head moves back and blocks your vision of him. She looks at you. “Thanks for going to the store.” She takes the bag from your hands.

“Totally.” You nod with a smile.

You see Sarah walk over to the stove where Joel looks to be stirring noodles. She elbows his side and whispers something.

“Uh, yeah, thank you.” Joel smiles at you.

You stifle a laugh. “…anything we can help with?”

“Yeah, you guys butter and season the bread. Noodles and sauce are almost done.” Sarah says as she pours the jar of sauce into a pan of cooked, ground hamburger meat.

You grab the bread, getting next to Joel to open the fridge and get the butter. “Can you hand me a couple knives?” You turn to Joel.

He doesn’t look directly at you, one hand still stirring the noodles while the other reaches into a drawer on his right to grab two knives. He hands them to you. “There ya go.”

“Thanks, Mr. Miller.” You smile even though he can’t see it.

You all finish preparing dinner, then plate up and move to the dining room to a square table. Joel sits on your left, Sarah across from you, and your dad on your right.

You all start to dig in, finally making some small talk as you got more and more full.

“How’s school going?” Your dad asks Sarah.

“Fantastic. I’ve got a prototype made for a little project I’m doing. It’s gonna change the game on microbiology.” She answers with a smug grin.

“I’d love to see it.” Your dad says.

“Okay!” Sarah replies excitedly as she stands. “Come on, it’s in my car.”

Your dad gets up and before you or Joel could say anything, the two are headed for the front door and out to Sarah’s car.

You don’t know what gives you the bravery to do it, but you say something to Joel after a couple moments of silence. “You never texted me back.”

Joel’s head snaps up, his eyes shooting to yours from his plate. “Huh?” He visibly blushes.

“I asked you a question and you never answered.” You shrug.

“I don’t…” he sighs. “I can’t be lookin’ at you like that. ‘S not appropriate.”

You lean back in your chair with a laugh and a shake of your head. You roll your eyes and then focus them on Joel once more. “You’re telling me you wouldn’t fuck me… right here, right now, if given the opportunity?” You cross your arms over your chest and press your tits together even more.

His eyes glance down at your cleavage for just a moment.

“Honey, you couldn’t handle what I want to give you.” Joel taunts.

You’re the one blushing now. You gulp and sit up, reaching under the table to put a hand on his thigh.

He suddenly grabs your wrist, tight, gripping it so hard you could feel your bracelet making indents in your skin. You look up at him through your lashes, “I’m sure I can handle more than you think. Look at me, you won’t break me… Mr. Miller.” You smirk and grip his thigh.

His hand tightens around your wrist.

“Okay, that- that kinda hurts.” You laugh nervously.

He tosses your hand away. “Told you.” He sneers.

Fuck. That was some sort of test? Shit, you liked the pain but you thought it best to let him know he was hurting you. Your panties were slick with wetness at this point and all you wanted to happen was for him to bend you over the table and have his way with you.

Sarah and your father walk back inside as if on queue, still deep in conversation about microorganisms and different things they do and how to study them. You have a hard time keeping up, not really interested in the subject as much.

They sit back down at the table as they bring their conversation to a pause.

Sarah looks around at all three of you. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure-“ your dad starts.

You interrupt him. “Actually… I’m not feeling very good. I think I’m gonna go to bed early.” You grab your stomach to imply that it was hurting.

“Aww, sorry sweetie.” Your dad pats your shoulder.

“I’ll be alright. Just need to lay down.” You smile weakly and get up. “Bye, guys.”

As you walk to the door you hear all three of them, even Joel, say either goodnight or goodbye.

You walk home across the yard and head up to your room. You get out your laptop, strip out of your pants and sit in your bed watching Netflix for a little bit. You pause it when something catches your eye.

Joel’s bedroom light.

You saw it turn on in your peripheral and then looked up, watching Joel walk into his room and close the door behind himself.

You watch as he takes off his shirt and sits down on his bed, facing you.

He leans over and puts his elbows on his knees before rubbing his eyes.

You get up and stand by your window, hoping he’ll glance your way. He finally looks up, doing a double take when he sees you.

You bite your lip, locking eyes with him as you slowly run your palms up your sides and over your breasts. You see him mouth the word “fuck.”

You gave him a small smirk and slipped off your t shirt leaving you in just your bra and panties. The bra you had on was a bit too small having your breast pudging out of the tops of the cups. You looked over at Joel and felt his eyes burning holes into your skin. You gave him a small wave and quickly closed the curtains leaving him alone in his room with his cock trying to break itself free from his jeans.

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justkending · 1 year

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Finding Memories. Chapter 5.

Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3700+

TW: Torture, cussing, and blood.

A/N: I will have chapter 6 ready by the time it is ready to be posted, and I’m hoping to get a start on chapter 7 soon. So things are working in my favor this time around.

Chapter 5: (Last edited; 1/1/23)

"Y/N!" he shouted, this time knowing for a fact she was in trouble.

It would take more than a common lock to keep the soldier out. With a quick and calculated kick to the door, the crack of the lock busted against the wood and splintered the threshold.

The scene in front of him instantly switched him into fight mode. _____________

After a struggle that Y/N didn't even have time to apprehend, she was put into a headlock by one woman who must have already been in the room before her. And the woman that had walked past Bucky a minute before was trying to hold her legs down as she fished for something in her pocket. Upon hearing the crash of the door caving in, the one attempting to wrangle Y/N's legs turned at the intrusion and a fiendish smile twisted on her face.

"Let her go," Bucky warned in a deep and intense tone, taking a step in.

"She's not yours to have," the woman responded naturally, instantly throwing a punch that Bucky deflected.

She wasn't an easy fight. The normal techniques he would use were too simple for her. Clearly, she was trained and ready to take on an opponent upon coming here.

Bucky was punching and ducking as his hand went into the wall instead of her gut at one point.

The whole time, Y/N was trying to escape the stronghold the other woman held on her.

"Stop fighting you little rat!" the woman groaned as Y/N never relented in squirming in her embrace.

Then as if a muscle memory fled back, Y/N's foot came down hard on the woman's shoe causing her to ease her grip on her. Taking the split second of a surprise to her advantage, she twisted the arm from around her neck into an unnatural bend and stared into the woman's eyes as she knew she had the upper hand.

The women looked back in shock. Out of all the people this enemy expected to have to put up a fight against, it wasn't the meek woman they had come for.

In front of the assailant stood an angry and hurt person that shared a full 180 of the girl they had brought to the facility a week ago.

But instead of continuing her fight, it was like the realization of her actions clicked. As soon as that awareness locked in, she blacked out. The next thing she knew, the woman was thrown into the wall so hard, the ceramic around her outlined her figure as it caved in.

Y/N was appalled at the scene as she couldn't imagine herself doing that. She didn't know how to fight... Or at least she didn't remember being one to hold her own.

Bucky had incapacitated the other girl at the same time Y/N had with her own opponent, and when he turned to hear the loud crash that showed the woman unconscious and embedded in the wall, his eyes grew.

He hadn't known what had happened since his back was to her at the time, but his first thought didn't go toward Y/N being the person in charge of the scene.

She was in just as much shock as him; it looked like she was staring at the incident frightened and taken aback just as much as him.

Instantly jumping into action to cover the scene, he grabbed Y/N's arms gently, but frantically, and moved her to the opposite wall away from it all. She was in shock from it all while watching as he went through their pockets and bags for any evidence.

While he did that, he dialed Steve's number and gave him a quick rundown of what had happened. When he had taken all the precautions to keep them there until a squad could come to pick them up, he turned back to Y/N while on the phone.

"I got to get her out of here," he said softly toward Steve, not looking away from where she was covering her mouth with her hands, shaking, and tears on the brink of overflowing in her eyes.

Steve confirmed saying there would be a team there in three minutes tops.

Bucky carefully moved her out of the room and found a few security guards to watch the space until someone from the team came. They recognized him and stayed close calling the rest of security to alert the problem.

The back alley behind the museum was the only place of seclusion Bucky could calm her down. He would have done it inside, but there were crowds of people already moving toward the scene and it was turning more chaotic by the second.

"Hey, are you ok? Did they hurt you?"

He began assessing her for any injuries and noticed a cut on her head and bruising on her neck from the hold the woman had on her. The cut wasn't bleeding horribly since she had already begun healing, but he could tell it was a nasty hit.

She was still shaking, her eyes stayed following his own, but nothing besides panic and fear showed in them. She had been taking shallow breaths and he could tell her breathing was becoming harder and harder to control.

"Y/N, I need you to focus on your breathing, ok? Close your eyes and take a deep breath," he instructed. He had just noticed, his hands had been on her shoulders the whole time keeping her anchored and she hadn't pulled away yet.

She took a second, but nodded in acknowledgment and took a shaky breath in. It came out even more unsteady.

"You're ok now. We're going to get you back home as soon as we can get you grounded a little better," he explained. "Deep breath in."

He coached her through a couple more deep breaths, and though she hadn't improved her nerves much, it was at least focusing her attention on something else.

Bucky heard the sirens and the honking as cars maneuvered to the museum. The crew was there and could handle it from here. They needed to find some form of cover that wasn't out in the open.

"Listen, we need to get to the car so we're out of sight. Can you walk ok?"

She hesitated but nodded softly.

"Ok, follow me," he motioned for her to trail behind as she usually did, but he was shocked when she grabbed onto his hand tightly and stayed closer than she had before.

He knew it was because he had just proven once again, that he would protect her no matter what and she could rely on him to be that strong pillar when she needed it the most.

He was happy that that kind of bond had formed now but frustrated that it was under these circumstances.

He squeezed her hand in reassurance and quickly guided them back to the parking garage where the car was. He helped her into her seat, giving her a hand as she got situated, then quickly ran around the front to get in the driver's seat and start the car.

The first 5 minutes of the trip were silent besides Y/N focusing on her breathing and keeping her head down as Bucky spoke soft words of peace and confirmation they were safe now.

By the time they parked and were back at the compound, she had gone radio silent and had a blank look written over her features.

Bucky once again came around the car, opened the door for her, and lent his hand as an anchor if she wanted to take it.

But even more to his surprise, she took his hand and used it to pull her body into his. His heart sank as he felt the desperation in her grasp.

She was going to crumble at the relapse of some of the worst experiences she had and he felt as though it was his fault. He put her in that situation. He was the reason she was attainable for those that wanted to harm her.

And yet it was him that she was molding herself to and holding onto for dear life.

He was shocked at first. Her arms went around his torso and her head laid heavily on his chest as muffled sounds of sobs came from her.

His first instinct was to throw his arms up in a way to show he wasn't fighting her action but slowly brought his hands down to her shoulders before he realized she truly just needed an embrace. A kind gesture for once.

So he gave it, slowly and carefully he brought his arms around her back and held her as she fell apart. His embrace only became tighter when his feelings of guilt and anger from the whole thing reminded him why she was using him as shelter.

This was a cruel cruel world and though there will always be bad in it, it was an overwhelming feeling to know that good could come out on top if given the opportunity. ____________________ Once she had relieved some of her adrenaline that had built up, Bucky walked her to her room and started to get her situated for the night.

She went into the bathroom, cleaned up the dried blood on the now-healed wound on her forehead, and put her hair up and out of her face.

Bucky offered to help and grabbed a pair of pajamas from her dresser and laid it out for her while he waited for her to come back out of the bathroom. But she was taking the time to have a space to herself and collect herself before coming back out.

While Bucky waited, he heard a soft knock on the door before it peaked open.

A sliver of Wanda's face showed before she realized Y/N was not in the vicinity and Bucky was waiting in a chair by her bed.

"Hey," she quietly opened the door more.

Bucky could tell she was looking for Y/N and he eased her thoughts.

"She's ok for now. She's cleaning up in the bathroom and I'm pretty sure she's going to call it an early night," Bucky summarized, nodding to the double doors that led to where she was.

"Makes sense," Wanda nodded, placing her hands in her back pockets as she walked in analyzing the energy. "It would also make sense for you to call it an early night too. She wasn't the only one ambushed."

The look she had sent him was one waiting to see how he took her comment. Would he brush it off, or agree? Knowing him, it would be the first.

"I will once I brief Steve on everything," Bucky smiled tiredly at his friend who always looked out for others. "Speaking of, is he back yet?"

"Yeah actually. I was coming to relieve you of your duties and send you to bed," she answered, sitting on the side of the bed across from him.

"But if Steve's here-"

"I know. Call me crazy, but I was hoping you would call it an early night too and actually give yourself some time to process the night instead of staying up and going over the whole thing down in the lab," she grinned cheekily.

"If I'm going to be going over it in my mind over and over tonight, might as well relay the information in a useful place," he countered, with his own grin.

"Eh, wishful thinking," she shrugged again. "But whichever way you decide, know that I have it handled here. I'll get her situated and make sure she's comfortable before going to bed."

"Are you sure cause I can-"

"We all know what you can do. How about you take care of yourself instead? Let the people who didn't relive their trauma tonight help those that did."

Her single eyebrow raise was one that reflected another redhead he knew. They had been rubbing off on each other for sure.

"I appreciate it, Wanda," Bucky stood up slowly, looking one more time at the doors. "But please, don't hesitate to call if something else happens."

"I'll hesitate, but I'll make sure you know if anything noteworthy happens," she nodded, standing with him. "Now go down to the lab so you can get some shut-eye at a reasonable hour," she pushed him toward the door. "As far as you're concerned, everything is going just fine on this side of the building."

Before he could counter with anything, he was out the door and Wanda was sending him a reassuring smile as she shut the barrier between them.

He let out a deep and long breath, running a hand through his hair as he took a second to reset.

As soon as he remembered what kind of information would be waiting for him, his calm, comforting, and understanding side took a step back. The anger and determination that the soldier in him held was on full display now.

_____________________________

"You said this is what Bucky found in the assailant's pocket?" Banner asked.

"That's what he said," Steve answered.

"The cover to the syringe wasn't off? Right?" he asked again.

"Not from my understanding. Bucky said from his perspective, it never left her pocket. She was trying to pull it out, but he came in before she had the chance," Steve noted.

"If you're wondering if any of it was injected into someone or something, it wasn't. At least not that I saw," Bucky spoke up as he walked into the room, overhearing the conversation on his way in.

The three in front of him turned.

Bruce with his glasses in one hand and the syringe they were talking about on the table in front of them. Steve had his arms leaning on the table reading the case file that had been written up from the scene. And Tony was on the other side of the table, sitting on the top with one hand propped under his chin in a thinking position.

"Do you think the intentions were to inject her or you?" Bruce asked.

"They locked me out. Their plan didn't bank on me being in that room with them," he replied, crossing his arms over his chest and standing in the space diagonal to Steve. "It had to have been for Y/N."

"I figured, but thought I'd ask anyway," Bruces sighed, grabbing the syringe and surveying it.

"Have you figured out what's in it?" Bucky asked.

It didn't take longer than a minute of Bucky being there before Tony broke his silence from the corner.

"It was a mixture of some of the most intense date-rape drugs on the black market put into one vial," Tony answered, never looking up. "And then some," he shrugged sarcastically.

"He's right," Bruce shook his head in disappointment at the truth. "It was laced with ketamine, GHB or gamma-hydroxybutyric acid, and Rohypnol from what we could decipher. Whoever was trying to get a hold of her wanted her wiped unconscious. And I believe truthfully if she was some form of normal that we thought she was before, she wouldn't have survived a quarter of the dosage they were going to give her..."

There was a pause as that statement settled in the room.

"What do you mean 'some form of normal'?" Bucky pressed on.

"If her capabilities were healing and nothing else, even that enhancement could only do so much with that concoction. That dosage was enough to put a Rhino down," Tony answered.

Bucky processed the information after everyone else had a head start.

"How's she doing?" Steve redirected the morbid conversation.

Bucky answered, sharing that she was with Wanda and shaken but resting, but his attention was only on it for a second before he asked what he was sure was already going through everyone's head.

"So you think her enhancements are something a lot more... Intense?" Bucky put it out there.

"If you want to put it lightly, they were trying to sedate the threat before it could do anything," Tony replied.

"It has a name. Don't forget that," Bucky stared with a death glare. "Y/N also has yet to show anything outside of her ability to heal."

"Maybe for now, but with the evidence that's piling up, there has to be another power we have yet to come in contact with..." Steve had to agree. "You mentioned something about her getting away from the woman holding her while you wrestled with the other hit woman. Did you see anything?"

Bucky thought back and wasn't sure how to word it.

"You saw the damage right?" Bucky asked and Steve nodded. The other men in the room watched as the two went back and forth. "I don't think that was the kidnapper's doing. Y/N was free from her grasp when I turned around right after I heard the crash of the ceramic breaking under the woman's weight."

"You think she did it?" Steve raised an eyebrow. "You think she had enough strength to push a woman twice her size into a concrete wall and leave a hole as proof?"

"Deep down it's almost impossible for me to believe that she's capable of something so violent, but I didn't do it and I'm sure the woman wouldn't have wanted to knock herself out as a defensive tactic," Bucky sighed, running a hand down his beard. "But I didn't see it happen, so I can't confirm anything. I was prioritized with her friend who was trying to stab me."

"Well, what's Y/N's testimony?" Tony jumped off that table and walked closer to the group.

"I didn't ask," Bucky answered, annoyed. "She hasn't said a word since we got back. She's been in shock since getting here and I'm not trying to have her recap everything when she's barely able to handle the aftermath."

"We probably won't get a recap from her anytime soon, Stark," Steve stepped in. "Who we can ask are the individuals in charge of the assault themselves."

"Are they in holding?" Bucky was quick to follow the new subject.

"They're seeking medical attention. The one you fought against had a few lacerations and a mild concussion," Steve updated. "The one that had a hold of Y/N, well..."

"She's still alive, right?" Bucky was now concerned.

Knowing that you could be the reason for someone's fall when your intentions were never that, could send a person on edge down a long spiral.

"She's alive, but her concussion was a lot worse. She's been in a medically induced coma since we brought her in."

Bucky nodded, looking at the ground as he processed, but they could tell the news bothered him still.

"She'll be ok. But we are worried we may not be able to get any information out of her from the attack," Bruce noted.

"Not that we were sure we'd get information either way, but with head trauma and possible memory loss, we for sure won't get much out of her," Tony sighed.

"We'll get it figured out," Steve interrupted, seeing the anger on his friend's face and the annoyance on Tony's. "It's our job to. And we're going to handle it like professionals or it's not going to get done in an efficient and thought-out way."

He was playing the peacekeeper as this type of case was sensitive to both the opposing sides.

Tony didn't do well with befriending people who could be potential threats. And Bucky didn't do well with Tony being insensitive to this type of case. He would know as he was seen as the potential threat at the beginning too.

"The good news is that the clues and hints are coming up constantly," Bruce spoke up, trying to cut some of the tension. "Maybe not in ways we hoped," he looked down momentarily at the syringe full of deadly chemicals. "But it's progressing in lots of ways. We have more evidence to work with and more people to lock up for their crimes."

"Peachy," Tony rolled his eyes and walked out of the room, getting his last word in.

Once out of the room, Bucky closed his eyes and relaxed his flared nose from the number of deep breaths he just took.

"I'm barely holding back, Steve," Bucky mumbled.

"Ignore him. He's stressed in different and yet somehow the same ways you are," Steve added. "You both just process the information entirely differently, and I'm now noting that I still can never leave you two in a room alone," Steve groaned, shaking his head as his hands rested on his hips.

"You're just now noting that?" Bucky deadpanned.

"Besides that," Steve continued on. "What should we do next?"

"I think our next step is questioning our new inmates. Any information we can get out of them is helpful," Bruce answered.

"I'll question them-" Bucky began but was cut off by Steve shaking his head.

"Yeah, no. You're a little too close to the case for that."

"What do you mean by that?"

Steve sighed and felt that Bucky was oblivious to his growing connection to this case, but at the same time, he wasn't that dense. It was because he was close to the investigation that he wanted to be the one in the interrogation room.

"Let me handle it and I'll relay anything I find out to you," Steve replied simply. "You need to get some rest and call it a night."

"I'm fine," Bucky rolled his eyes at the second person who had told him that.

"Fine my ass," Steve countered, getting a smile from Bruce as he tilted his head down trying to hide it. "Go get some sleep. We can argue about this tomorrow."

Bucky would have put up a fight, but he realized that going to bed and replaying the ambush in his head would bring new views on things. So though Steve was sending him away for rest, and he knew he wasn't going to convince him otherwise, he obliged but planned on working anyway.

He put his hands up in defeat and said his goodnights before heading off to his room.

Bruce and Steve watched him leave and go up the stairs to the main level.

"You know he's not going to sleep right?" Bruce said a few seconds after he was out of sight.

"Yeah, I know," Steve sighed. "At least he'll be in bed."

"You sound like a worried parent."

"Sometimes it feels like that..."

If you would like to be tagged in this series, please send an ask here. Thank you:)

Finding Memories Taglist: (some would not let me tag. so if you see your name but didn’t get the notification, double check if your blog allows tags:)

@tinkerbelle67 @a-beaverhausen @caruhleener @fanfictionjunkie1112 @sjsmith56 @nancymcl @kaygilles

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @mythos-writes @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses @livstilinski @basicallylool @starryeyeseunbyul

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter1 @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins @alyispunk @billyseye @hallecarey1

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness @bellamy-barnes @katiaw2 @aikeia @stopjustlovethemcu @enchantedbarnes

#bucky barnes series #finding memories #bucky barnes x reader series #bucky barnes x reader insert #bucky barnes #justkending #marvel series #marvel fanfic #bucky barnes x enhanced reader #mcu #mcu series #marvel #bucky barnes x y/n

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luringfantasy · 1 year

Text

Ch1/3 Not Anymore

Pairing Loki X f!Reader (established relationship)

Word Count 1060

Canon divergence; post TDW; Loki is alfather, everyone knows he is alive

Summary: Your’s and Loki’s relationship has changed since he became the king of Asgard. You try to get his attention, but he refuses to even acknowledge you. You realize he doesn't love you anymore. And decide to go back to Earth.

But then... why is he so angry?

Warnings: mild angst, SFW, SMUT in future chapters

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT CONSENT TO REPOST THE WHOLE/PART OF MY WORK. REBLOG AND COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOMED, SO IS CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. DON’T BE MEAN (life is already a bitch, and I WILL cry). THANK YOU FOR READING. DM’s ARE OEPN FOR A CHAT.

Chapter One of Three main masterlist

You Are Not the Same Anymore

It was a pleasant sunny morning; the last two weeks have been rainy and gloomy for two different reasons. Rain was the effect of the storm Thor brought with him since he was sick. Funny as it was at first, then whole of Asgard had it rough. On the other hand, the sadness you were experiencing was at the hands of the younger prince, Loki.

You have been dating for two years, on and off. You met him on earth, during one of his missions. And he visited you every now and then. Although, 5 weeks ago, he surprised you by asking you to come with him to Asgard. Mere mortals were not allowed, but the king himself could make an exception for ‘his one love’, as he liked to put it.

Your heart soared with happiness, eyes brimmed with tears, as he made a declaration of his love for you. You of course fell for him hard and fast; his charm was irresistible.

But now, you questioned if it was a good idea to come with him. Loki was a busy man. You knew that. During your ‘long-distance’ relationship, he still managed to visit you at least once a week and spend a couple of days with you. But now, it has been three whole weeks and you haven't seen him for more than five minutes. He didn’t need much sleep, so he hardly came back to his chambers, your chambers. He spent days and nights attending to guests from all nine realms. It looked like he had time for everyone but you.

You knew it was probably not his fault. Not only that, but you were worried about him. God or not, everyone needed rest. Especially given the amount of work he was doing. So as Thor left; back to Earth, where he spent most of his days now, you headed to meet Loki. If he didn’t want to rest and take care of himself, you would make him. That was one of the things about you that charmed him. Though initially, you took time to open up, you never backed down as soon as you became friends. And who knows, maybe that same fierceness will bring your relationship back on track…

After an hour of searching in a very big palace, you finally found him in a small study, alone with some documents. Perfect. There was no one around him. You felt a bit uncomfortable approaching him in public, he was the alfather, and you a mortal.

For a moment you admired him from far, he was immersed in his work. Did he know how incredibly hot he looked with his brows furrowed in concentration? You slowly approached him and placed your hands on his shoulder to get his attention. But Loki just moved away, still not looking up from the pieces of paper. You were a bit hurt. Three weeks and then this.

It’s alright, attempt two. You told yourself. You moved behind him and wrapped your arms around his neck. Leaning into him, placing a small kiss on his neck, you once more try to get his attention. But instead, he just pushes you away. What the hell? This was even worse than the times he told you he was busy, now it seems like you don’t even exist for him.

You leave without saying a word, going back to your chambers to cry. You wake up and realize that it’s dark outside. Did you sleep the whole day? You were upset, but your eyes lit up when you saw Loki coming in. Finally! You thought the two of you would talk. You were ready to forget the past few weeks and move ahead of this. But Loki didn’t apologize. He even told you through his gritted teeth, that you shouldn’t have done that today. What did I even do? That was the last straw. The conversation turned into an argument, you asked him for clarification for his actions and he replied he didn't have time for every single thing.

So here you were, on your way to Bifrost. Planning to go back to your old home and leave this one. Forever. You wrote a strong-worded letter to Loki. In case he needed any more clarification. There was a long queue of people waiting to go back and many people coming to Asgard. Loki being made king was a surprise to many, and many saw this as a new opportunity. These were the very people keeping Loki away from you, you thought.

It took about half an hour for your turn. As you stepped on the platform, you saw a look of surprise and hesitance on the gatekeeper's face. It was someone who you didn’t know, it wasn’t Heimdal. And you were relieved. He would have asked questions, or maybe he wouldn’t have allowed you to leave without Loki’s express permission. But with this new guy, you could fake confidence, he wouldn’t know that you were running away.

“To Earth” you said and kept your eyes in front of you. You knew it worked because the portal started humming with energy. But before you knew what was happening, you were thrown away from the platform with an invisible force, there was some clattering of things, some gasps, a small shriek, and by the time you got hold of yourself, you were hoisted on a strong shoulder, while a familiar pair of hands held your hips, preventing you from falling off.

It was too fast, everything was mo..- you felt the familiar feeling of vacuum around yourself, and when you looked up, you realized that Loki had teleported both of you in the palace. He was moving, still carrying you on his shoulder, which by the way, were digging painfully into your stomach.

He dropped you with little care on the floor, the floor of your shared bedroom, you realized. He then swiftly moved to the table, pouring an Asgardian drink for himself, looking questioning at you, now sitting on the floor. After some moment the letter you wrote appeared in his hand. He crumpled it and threw it at you. He quickly raised to his feet and reached you in slow deliberate steps. There was something in him that changed. Something that was scaring you. You couldn’t move.

“Explain.”

TO BE CONTINUED

CH2

#loki #loki x you #marvel #y/n #loki of asgard #loki (marvel)#loki y/n #loki imagine #marvel mcu #mcu loki #loki laufesyon x reader #dom!loki smut #loki marvel #loki x female reader

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hyerinrose · 2 years

Text

Seven Of Hearts🖤🎭| Part 1

A/N : This is crossposted from my wattpad @ultimatesimpppp. I figured I'll post this story here while I work on a fic after months of nothing.

[2]

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"Ugh last updated 8 months ago! why does every good story ended up like this..?" groaned a voice in annoyance.

They clicked off of the page they were reading and continue scrolling to find another book to be engrossed over rather than sleeping.

Speaking of that, they then shifted their gaze towards the digital clock on their bedside table. The red glowing numbers displayed on the screen : 4:00 a.m glared at them as if to remind them of their bad sleeping habits.

"Oh darn it has been that late? maybe i should start to hit the hay now" They said but their (e/c) were trained onto a book that seemingly were calling out to them.

'Seven Of Hearts🎭' the title of the book pique their interest already.

"Another reverse harem? ehh..maybe the description will win me over"

'A tale of 6 souls who were destined for one girl, Mackeyleigh who were in search of her one true love. Unknowingly, she have already met them and were in admist of a fight between 6 suitors who were vying for her love'

They deadpanned at the name of the heroine but seeing as their insomnia were getting the best of them, they decided to read through it anyways.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙•*⭑ Timeskip⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

"Oh my god this guy stinks!" They yelled at the screen as one of the male lead's action displeased them greatly.

Matsushima Masahiko is your typical prince-like character in a love interest. He has a big ego, godly looks, smarts, riches and charms. His red wined hair and golden eyes made him even more apealing to everyone.

However his biggest flaw was his ego that was equally big as his ass.

The scene that made them seethed in anger is when Masahiko humiliated Mackeyleigh by sabotaging their costume for a play that she will be leading with Ando Makoto, another love interest of hers which made him angry.

'I should be the one to be her prince! I was born and destined to be one!'

'Masahiko-kun..! You were the one behind this?!'

'Stand back Mackeyleigh.. this is a fight between me and him'

'Makoto-kun!'

Masahiko's response to being bested by his rival was the worst out of all other suitors' of Mackeyleigh.

They huffed as they planned to start a hashtag #Mackeyleighdeservebetter and #Masahikoisoverparty when they are done reading all of the current chapters.

It was only then that exhaustion caught onto them and they fell asleep shortly after.

Their phone still displaying the last chapter they were reading before falling deep into their slumber.

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"..up..wake up!..HEY WAKE UP!"

They jolted awake at the sound of a person shouting at them. Their vision were blurred as they had just been woken up rather rudely by whoever this is.

"Jeez calm down man..5 more minutes please" They tiredly mumbled while picking the crust out of their eyes.

The person huffed at them seemingly irritated and speak in a loud and commanding voice.

"You said that an hour ago now wake up before I make you!"

"Ugh..you're starting to sound like my momㅡ" They abruptly ended their sentence upon realizing that they lived by themselves and are painfully alone.

They almost got a whiplash from how fast they turned to the person who were standing beside them.

It was a male who looked ethereal, he looks like a fictional character rather than a human! His golden eyes glowered on them like they were a gum stuck on the bottom of his shoes.

Red wine strands of hair perfectly framed his face as his tall figure loomed on them.

He looks familiar..where have they seen him?

"Wㅡwho are you..?" They manage to croack the question out as they curled into the farthest corner of their bed.

The unknown male glare hardened as if insulted that they had the audacity to not know who he is.

"The name is Matsushima Masahiko, the most attractive man in the world and widely adored by many at Spades Academy" Masahiko boasted about himself with a smug look on his face.

Wait. Masahiko..Matsushima..Spades Academy..

They racked through their brain to figure out who this man is and wether or not they should call the police on him already instead of listening to whatever bullshit he was spouting.

Their (e/c) eyes shifted to Masahi's big fat ass and immediately figured out who he is. A light bulb lit up in their empty head as they connect the dot.

"Yㅡyou're from Seven Of Hearts?! How the hell did you end up here in my bedroom of all places?" They exclaimed with an incredulous expression.

Name slapped their cheeks and shook their head as if in a denialㅡwhich they are. Masahiko watches the strange human muttering and rocking their body back and forth.

"No no no no no no why do I have to dreamㅡno have a nightmare about this trash of a man of all people" They muttered with their eyes drained of its light like they were having a mental breakdown to which again, they are.

Eventually Masahiko grew tired of the human behaviour and smack their head instantly snapping them out of their stuppor.

"Listen here human, I don't know how I got here myself and I want you to return me back right now!" He says in a threatening tone.

"Wㅡwait why do you assume I was the one behind all of this?!" They were aghasted by his accusation.

The (h/c) haired person then pointed harshly at the princely male with a glare of their own.

They furrowed their eyebrows to look tough but to him they look like a small animal hissing at him.

"For all I know you could be some random dude breaking into my house to rob me!"

"What kind of thief would break into a person's home at daytime when a lot of people are around?" He shot back a reasonable excuss that shut them up.

"ok fair enough"

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Disclaimer : Idk where tf this story will goヽ(ヅ)ノ Let it drive the boat🐟

#tw: yandere #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere oc #yandere x reader #soft yandere #yandere x you #yandere x darling #yandere harem #gender neutral reader

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dari-ede · 1 year

Text

In the Middle of the Night: Ch 30

CHAPTER 30: Every Line in our Hands

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

MASTERLIST

Summary: As Bangtan prepares for a new chapter in their lives, they head to their private property in the forest for a songwriting workshop. As a songwriter and producer they have worked with for years, I’m asked to tag along. I was ready for the heavy workload and small amount of sleep during the workshop week. However, I wasn’t ready for the storm that came that changed my friendship with Namjoon forever.

Notes: Maya makes a decision....

Pairing: Idol!RM/Namjoon x OFC

Genre: Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Smut

Rating: M (sexual scenes/sexual assault in prior chapters)

Status: Complete

Note: I haven't given it one final read-through but I wanted to post it as soon as possible. I'll probably be doing edits late in the day today or throughout the week when I finally have time. Sorry!

Warnings: a LOT of feels, talk of therapy, talk of assault

**********

- Jimin's Apartment -

I needed a break from my phone. Since arriving in Seoul a few days ago, I had been having the worst of luck. Because I hadn’t planned to be back in the country for a few more weeks, it had been a hassle getting things settled with the banks. I was usually better prepared when I traveled, but all of this had been so last minute.

It sucked having to quarantine in a home that wasn’t mine. However, I was grateful to Jimin for lending me his house for the time being. My apartment wasn’t ready, so Jimin had been my only hope. He wasn’t scheduled to get back to town for a couple more weeks. I have no idea where I would be crashing after that, but that was something I could worry about later.

Right now, I only had the energy to stress about money. And food.

I had finished almost everything edible in Jimin’s kitchen. I was running out of resources and needed the damn banks to allow me access to my accounts. Of course, they wanted me to be there in person, but it was difficult to do so in the middle of a mandatory 10-day quarantine. After landing in Seoul, which by some miracle no one leaked to the media, I came straight to Jimin’s house, tested, and was told to stay until I was cleared.

Asking for favors was not easy for me and I had asked enough of Jimin already. Messaging him about needing him to use his own funds to get me food had been embarrassing. He said he would have things delivered to me by the morning. I would just have to hold tight for the night.

My stress was causing great strain and the only thing I could think to calm myself was to set my phone down and do something else. I read a book, listened to music, and finally decided to take a long bath. I had kept my phone away on purpose.

And that had been a bad idea.

Had I kept my phone next to me, I would have gotten a heads-up from Jimin.

But I hadn’t. And now I was staring at a perfectly chiseled Adonis, at a loss for words.

This had not been part of the plan.

His splendor made me stop in my tracks as I exited Jimin’s room after showering. My eyes took in his face. His leveled, smoothed nose, his heavy-lidded eyes, and round, luscious lips couldn’t look more perfect. His jaw was set, his eyes round in an almost-wondered look.

The sudden realization that I hadn’t seen him in a month was physically catching up to me. My legs wanted to run to him. My arms wanted to wrap themselves around his shoulders. My lips wanted to claim his. My soul had missed him, but so had my body. And it was needing to make contact. It was craving him.

“What are you doing here?” he suddenly asked, his eyes glaring at me now.

I had never seen his face switch so quickly. One moment he looked too stunned to speak and the next he was looking at me like some bug he wanted to squash.

But rather than react sadly to hearing his tone, my body seemed to melt. My ears had also missed the deep timbre of his voice. Even if it had some venom in it.

“You were just gonna come back to town and not even call?” Namjoon demanded. His words began to make snap me out of my hypnotism. “You’ve ignored all my messages, so it shouldn’t surprise me you want to physically avoid me.”

My brain caught up and my body finally caught up. My mouth opened to speak, but I was silenced before I could even start.

Namjoon continued with his anger. Continued voicing his hurt. “Do you have any idea how shitty that feels? I calledyou, messaged you. I fucking sounded like a goddamn dog begging for forgiveness. And you couldn’t even bother giving me a response? You contacted Jimin right away but not me? Am I unworthy?”

His thinking or saying that he was unworthy of anything ripped something inside. I finally spoke. “I wanted to wait until my quarantine was over. I’m stuck here for 10 days. If I were to have called you, I would have immediately wanted to see you—and I can’t. There’s a mandate.”

He shakes his head. His eyes are looking at me, but he doesn’t see me. It’s like he’s looking at a stranger who’s feeding him lies.

“Ask my Tia Jia,” I said desperately, needing him to believe me. “My quarantine is up in a few days. After, I was going to call you so we could meet.”

“She’ll lie for you,” he accused.

“Then ask Yoongi. I told him I was going to call you first thing after I got the green light.”

He snickered, the glare in his eyes still there. “Of course, you still communicate with Yoongi. You tell me him more than you tell me.”

He was so full of anger that he wasn’t seeing things clearly. He was putting up walls. It was a defense mechanism, I knew it. I needed to keep my calm, make him see. “No one knows me the way you know me, Namjoon,” I said gently, hoping he recognized this was true.

My calmness wasn’t having the effect I wanted to have on him. He didn’t want me calm. But he wanted me to meet his energy.

“Except those other guys who slid inside you like I did that night. They know you like I know you,” he said without thinking, going for the jugular. Needing me hurt the way he was hurting.

His eyes went wide with horror as soon as the words left his mouth. Instant regret.

But the words couldn’t be sucked back in. They were in the air, shooting straight at me like daggers. And they hurt me exactly the way he intended.

I took in a sharp breath, feeling the blades cut right through my skin and hit my chest.

I turned away, feeling the tears sting my eyes. My body reacted like it always did at being wounded, it recoiled. My feet took some towards Jimin’s room. I couldn’t lose it in front of him.

But he was faster. His body blocked me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I—I’m a fucking idiot.” His voice was strained. “Maya, I am so sorry. I don’t know why I said it. I was wrong.”

My feet moved back, keeping my body safe from his.

“I am so sorry. I’m a fucking prick.” He went down to his knees, his face twisted in remorse. He got on the ground, bowing down and pleading. “Please.”

Hot tears came streaming down as I spoke. “I wasn’t with you for the sex. No one knows me like you—emotionally. No one makes me feel the way you do. I felt safe around you, but then…when you said that—” A sob came out as I remembered.

Walking down the halls barefoot with only my skirt and top.

Tears had smeared off my makeup. I looked like a goddamn wreck. My shoes and undergarments had been left behind. Security both gawked at me and looked away in shame.

Humiliation of a slut.

“I’m sorry; I’m sorry,” he repeated, his head bowing as low as it could.

I took breaths to get ahold of myself. “This is why it’s difficult to let someone in. Because when I do, they have ammunition to use against me. They know what to say, what information to use to belittle me.” It felt so foreign to be this honest with him; it was uncomfortable. But I forced myself to feel the discomfort. “No one’s ever known me the way you have. Every time I’m with you, you reveal some knowledge you have of me that no one has ever noticed about it. It makes me feel so naked. I hated it.”

His head remained on the ground, his body slightly shaking from his own sobs.

Unlike seeing my mother in a state of disarray, I’m fully moved by seeing Namjoon like this. Seeing his regret made me want to immediately give in and forgive him.

But I shouldn’t. I needed to be smart about all of this. It was not ok what he had said to me. Both times.

“Why did you say it?” I demanded.

“I don’t know," he answered with his head still down.

No, I wasn't going to accept that. “You must know. As you said, it’s been a month. You’re telling me you haven’t thought about why you said it all this time?”

He calmed himself and then lifted his head, his eyes meeting mine. “It was out of anger.”

“You wanted to hurt me?”

“Yes.” He looked at me with pain in his eyes. “When I said it that night, it was because I thought I meant nothing to you. It made me angry and I wanted to hurt you. I remember what your exes used to say to you and it slipped. This time, the same thing happened. I felt you cared more for Yoongi and Jimin—feels like I’m not high on your list.”

To think he would stoop so low and try to damage me—on purpose—the same way my exes had ripped something in me. I never would have thought Namjoon to be someone so…normal. Such a human quality to be imperfect.

“I need to know," I forced myself to say. I didn't want to continue this talk. I was feeling so much, but I knew I had to continue. "You have to be honest. Do you have a problem with my sexual past?”

He shook his head, his face serious and steady. “No. You have a past and I would be foolish and selfish to not want you to have one. What I’ve always cared about is how you treat and see me. That's where all the anger came from, I swear.”

I understood. He had been an ass for saying it—twice—but anger was something I could easily understand.

He hung his head again and apologized once more. He was clearly remorseful.

However, I needed to set boundaries. I needed to stand up for myself. “When I open up to you, I expect you not to throw it back at me. It will only make me pull away from you.”

He sat back up and nodded. His face was flushed, tears still coming down. He apologized again.

“I appreciate the apology,” I said genuinely. I turned towards the couch. “Let’s sit down. You’re gonna hurt your knees.” I didn’t wait for his response and went towards the couch.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him get up and walk toward the empty chair. I wasn’t sure if it was because of his presence or due to feeling a sudden chill, but I shivered. Either reason was valid for my body reacting that way. I looked around for the hoodie I had been using in quarantine. I found it on the chair that Namjoon was starting to descend on. Before I could ask if he could hand it over, I noticed something about it.

It was his.

Of course, I knew it was his hoodie I had been wearing. He had left it in LA and I had used it several times since our breakup. However, wearing it in front of him wasn't appropriate.

I tried not to disguise the fact that I was looking for something, pretending it was the blanket on the couch I had been looking for. However, it was no use. He had noticed. His eyes went to the hoodie behind him and a slightly embarrassed look spread across his face.

However, even though he looked awkward, he still reached for it. “You can—”

Grabbing the blanket, I made sure to be extra noise in wrapping it around me, draining out his words. Thankfully, he was quick to catch onto what I was doing and shut up.

As I turned to him, I noticed we were a little too close. And even though my body wanted to get closer to him than I already was, my brain reminded me of the mandate. I was already breaking so many laws with Namjoon being here, I at least wanted to make sure we followed the six feet rule.

After a few moments of silence, Namjoon opened his mouth, ready to start the talk but I cut him off. “Let me start.”

He nodded and kept silent.

Meeting his eyes, I said some words I wanted to say that night. “I need to apologize as well.”

His eyes stayed on me and said nothing.

I took a breath and started what I had set out to do after walking out of Sihyuk’s house about a week ago. “You told me multiple times what you wanted from the relationship—you were very clear. You wanted transparency and I didn’t give you that. I was wrong for how I behaved. For keeping our relationship a secret from my family. I recognize I was dismissive of your emotions. I am very sorry for that.”

He nodded, accepting my apology, but he needed more words from me. “Why did you want to keep me a secret from them? It felt like I was this dirty little secret. I’ll be honest, these last few weeks, the thought that you might have someone on the side came to mind.”

I shook my head, appalled. “I never—”

“I know,” he cut me off. “You would never do something like that. It was a thought that came to mind several times. I want to be fully honest about it. My head went into some pretty dark places these last few weeks. My opinion of you wasn’t very good.”

Guilt stabbed at my chest. I knew he was being with these words. “I’m sorry.”

“Can I know why you refused to tell your family?” He did his best not to sound hurt.

But I knew Namjoon well enough to hear it. “I genuinely thought that not telling my brothers had been an oversight, but after talking to Dr. Rob, I see things differently now.”

He looked a bit shocked. “You’re seeing your therapist again?”

I nodded. “After that night, I kind of had a breakdown. Similar to years ago when I was in the middle of an anxiety attack. After a few days, I knew I needed help. Dr. Rob has been helping me figure some things out—find out why I’ve had this wall up with you.” Using the blanket as a guard, I tugged it tighter around my body as I felt my anxiety start spiking. “I learned that me keeping you at a distance stems from childhood trauma.”

I went on to explain what I had discovered with Dr. Rob. I went into a little more detail about what I witnessed as a kid with my parents. Made the connection that the toxic relationship I grew up watching damaged my trust in a partner. Boyfriends, to me, were a tainted category.

“I didn’t tell my parents about us at first because I don’t have a close relationship with them. I might talk to them on a weekly basis, but it’s always short and I never share anything meaningful. Plus, I’m sure my mother’s ability to taint anything I care about had something to do with it. Not telling her kept you safe for me. I can easily see her make a comment about how wrong I am for you. She did it several times with Jerry. I didn’t want her doing that with you.”

Namjoon’s face was calm, but his eyes were very loud about how he felt about hearing this.

“And I think there are a few reasons why I didn’t tell my brothers. One of them was because it would make us more real. Which increased the possibility of you leaving. And that scared me.” The abandonment issues I didn’t know I had started to resurface. Now that I could identify the feeling, I took notice of it quickly. “The only guys who stuck around were the bad ones.”

“Jerry was willing to stick around,” he pointed out immediately. “And he was great.”

“But he didn’t really know me. I kept a lot of things from him. And the things I did tell him, he dismissed,” I countered back.

“But I do and I want to be with you,” he said without hesitation.

My heart ached for multiple reasons. “Which makes you more dangerous. It’s a double-edged sword.”

“I know I fucked up. And I am more than willing to ask for forgiveness every day—”

I cut him off. “No. I know you regret it and know you mean your apology. I forgive you. I don’t want it to become something that hangs over us. I’m still hurt by it, but it won’t last.”

He gave a slight nod. After a quiet moment, he spoke up. “I really don’t want to push you away. But I want to be let in. And I want to know that you’ll allow me in.”

I held onto his eyes, noticing how pleading they looked. I had to be honest. I couldn’t sugarcoat this. “It’s gonna be tough for me. Letting someone in is not easy. The last people I let in and depended on ended up fucking me up. I put a wall up for survival and it’s been hard bringing it down. I’ve always been aware of the wall’s presence and I’ve never minded it. But with you, I mind. I don’t want to keep you out. Even if my fight or flight instincts are screaming at me.”

He looked away, seeming to think about something.

It was a look I had seen far too often, especially more toward the end of our relationship. He was holding back. And like always, I wanted to know what was on his mind. “What? Tell me.” I braced myself for whatever he was about to say.

He didn’t meet my eyes but answered my question. “When we fought that one night—not the very last one, but the one when you almost left in the middle of the night…?”

“Yeah…?”

“You were reliving something….”

I thought back, trying to recall that night.

“Your anxiety kicked in…”

I remembered. “Mm-hmmm.”

“What was it?” There was a slight look of reluctance like he was afraid to ask. Afraid of my reaction. Afraid I might not answer.

I had told him I wanted to let him in, now I had to prove it. “A fight between my parents.”

His facial features relaxed a bit. “What was it about what I did that triggered the memory?”

The image of his fiery brown eyes crossed my mind. Eyes that were always so warm when I looked into them had been icy that night. “Your anger. You’ve gotten mad at me before, but that look…that was real anger towards me.” My eyes stayed on his as I told him what I discovered with Dr. Rob. “I know you’re nothing like my parents. But that night emotions were already escalating. My feelings for you were getting more intense. Internally, I was fighting with my defenses. I wanted to let you in and I also wanted to keep you away. Sadly, the wall won that night. The image of my parents fighting pushed me to keep it up. Not to mention that I’ve had prior relationships that around the four-month period, their demeanor changed. The thought did cross my mind that you were going to turn into one of them.”

He thought for a long moment, considering my words. He looked down at his feet, which were joined. He moved his feet a bit, thinking.

“What?” I asked, knowing he was hesitating in asking something serious.

He didn’t meet my eyes but did speak up. “I thought you might have been reliving something else that night.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“Something you haven’t been able to tell me. Something you’re keeping secret.” The cocoa browns that pulled so many feelings out of me came up. “There’s something I want to know. I’ve been holding back in asking because I’ve never wanted to push you to tell me anything you’re not ready to. But it’s gotten to the point where I keep imagining the absolute worst.” A stream of tears began to come down as he braved himself. “What happened to you that caused the anxiety attack years ago?”

Another difficult hurdle had come. Tears were also coming out of me and I took a few breaths to get myself under control. “I want to share everything with you, Namjoon. But some things are difficult to talk about. Some things that,” flashes of the scariest moments of my life came to the forefront, threatening to suck me in. The bulwark I had built since childhood stood tall and strong, though, keeping the old memories at a distance. That fucking wall was my protector just as much as it was my poison. “I don’t want to ever relive,” I finished as I caught on to my words again. “There are some things I suppressed and can’t remember. There are other memories I wish I could forget.”

He cut me off, a look full of concern as he witnessed my state. “I don’t want you to relive something that is going to do more damage. I don’t want you to have to dig in too deep that you get lost.” The tears coming down from him were probably thicker than mine. “I just wanted to help you. It seemed like there was something you were going through and I wanted to comfort you. Especially since you weren’t seeing your therapist anymore.”

I nodded, agreeing with him wholeheartedly. “I shouldn’t have stopped therapy. I should have continued it. I thought I had a handle on things, but I didn’t.” I took a breath and finally said the words I had practiced so much with Dr. Rob. “I wasn’t prepared before in letting a significant other in. But I want to. I want to let you in. And I promise that I am working on it and will continue to work on it. I will tell you in more detail about what happened, but I won’t tell you everything this time.”

He waited patiently. “Whatever you want to tell me. And whatever you don’t or can’t, that’s ok with me, too. As long as you’re getting help is what matters.”

******Tugging the blanket around me, I finally told him. “Around the time my contract was about to expire, I was to have a meeting with some executives and Ky was supposed to be there. However, things happened and Ky couldn’t be there and neither could some of the executives. Only one of them met with me. The meeting started ok, but somehow it turned into a nightmare. The executive made comments that hinted at me doing him sexual favors in exchange for a better contract. It was surreal at first; I thought it was some joke. But then he walked over to me. He got too close. I froze. I felt my shirt come undone.”*******

I took the chance of stealing a look at Namjoon, wondering how he was taking this.

His face was expressionless. He kept his eyes on me with no hint of anger or pain. I let out a breath, relieved. It was something I feared a little. Namjoon had always been one to control his emotions, always relying on his head. But there was always the possibility of his emotions getting the best of him. I knew if he did lose control, I would focus on him rather than myself.

I was about to continue but then I noticed his fists. They were clenched. His arms tightened. He was angry, I could feel it now.

I instantly began to worry about him.

“What then, babe?” Namjoon said, pulling my focus away. “Don’t focus on me. Go on.” He had caught my stare.

I took a breath and continued to speak about my assault. I didn’t give him too many details, still not feeling ready to tell him everything. He sat still and listened. I told him about my talk with my mother and when I got a bit emotional, he made a move to move toward me.

With a shake of the head, I pleaded him to stay where he was. “If you hug me, I’ll come apart. And I want to get through this.”

He respected this and stayed in his seat. However, he did lean forward, looking ready to rush to my side as soon as I gave him the go-ahead.

A good while later, I was certain I had shared as much as I could about my trauma. I shed many tears, but I didn’t feel as bad as I thought I would.

Looking out the window, I could only imagine what time it was. It was pitch black. This had taken a lot longer than I thought.

“Thank you for sharing that with me. I bet it wasn’t easy,” he said genuinely, a look of complete care on his face.

“Thank you for listening,” I responded.

“I like listening to you.” His words moved something in me.

Having just shared so much with him, I felt a shift between us. I felt a shift in myself. The fact that he had sat there for hours listening to me and respecting my boundaries moved something in me. Suddenly, I had the urge to tell him everything; tell him exactly what I thought of him but had been too afraid to share in the past.

“There's more I need to tell you," I said, building up even more courage.

I was certain he could tell I was getting nervous. He offered me one of my favorite smiles. "I'm all ears."

I took a deep breath and began to let my heart pour out. "You are, without a doubt, the best human I know. You’re kind, gentle, resilient, positive, and empathetic. You deserve the goddamn world.” Talking about my admiration for him was making me quite emotional. So emotional that I started to cry. What I felt for Namjoon was not something that I had ever allowed myself to feel. Dr. Rob said that it would take some time to talk openly about this positive emotion without my body physically responding this way.

I was quick to notice how Namjoon shook his head, disagreeing with my view of him.

But I needed him to know how I saw him. “Despite the negativity thrown at you, you keep your composure. You stay collected when it matters most. It’s one of the many reasons why I fell for you.” Looking into his beautiful features, I continued my praises. “And there are so many qualities that made me fall for you—many physical. Like your pout. The pout you make when you mutter to yourself. And how you look when you come out of the shower in all your gloriousperfection.” He blushed wildly at this. But I wasn’t done. “When you chow down your third bowl of noodles, your Adam’s apple bobs in this very sexy way. And my favorite thing about you is how you make me feel happy.” A burst of crazed laughter came out of me, thinking of all the little moments with Namjoon. The last few weeks we had been together, this was one of the emotions I had felt and tried to block: happiness. It was so foreign to me, so I had naturally recoiled from it. However, in the month away from him, I came to find that not feeling happiness was a feeling I did not want.

He took a breath, wiped some tears, and looked directly at me. He opened his mouth, ready to say something.

But I wasn’t done. There was one last thing I needed to tell him. The most important thing I knew I would ever say. “I love you, Kim Namjoon.”

It felt like a breath of fresh air saying it. While it was difficult getting to this point, letting out the words felt good. Felt so right.

My eyes did not sway from his cocoa browns. His body relaxed—he looked relieved.

I was bathing in the happiness of finally saying the words to him but then noticed him getting to his feet. I acted instinctively and got up, wanting to get close to him. However, I remembered I was under quarantine. If I had the virus, he might get sick again. It would mess up his entire schedule. I backed away as he made a reach for him. “Six feet,” I reminded him.

He followed me, a determined look in his eyes. “Fuck the six feet.” He reached out, catching my upper arm and keeping me in place.

“Namjoon—” The air got caught in my lungs as his touch sent thrills throughout my skin. Every cell sang in joy. However, my brain demanded I take back control. I tried to pull away.

His bold and gentle hands came to my face, keeping me. His mystic eyes held my gaze.

My brain and body became mush at that point, giving up the battle. I sighed into his touch.

“Say it again,” his honeyed voice said above a whisper.

I don’t think I could ever deny him anything. “I love you, Kim Namjoon.” My heart fluttered at hearing myself say it.

I was entrusting him with my heart. And as I felt him around me, I was positive he would protect it and me at all costs.

He let out a kind of laugh I had never heard him make. It was high and kind of panty. He sounded a bit delirious. I saw the smile I had been missing for over a month. His eyes squinted as his smile widened. His nose scrunched up a bit, changing the freckled constellations on his beautiful canvas. How had I lasted so long without seeing this expression every day?

“I really missed these,” I said, my fingers reaching up and tracing the cluster of marks around his eyes and nose.

His hands moved down to my middle and tightened around me. His face came down to my neck, his nose hitting the spot between my ear and neck. He took a deep inhale. “I missed you.”

I turned my head towards his own neck, wanting to smell him back. My nose grazed his skin and I breathed in his woodsy scent.

We stayed like that for a long time, until he finally pulled up. His arms stayed around me. “I found out how I felt about you while I was with my last girlfriend,” he said, almost out of nowhere.

My state of happiness made my mind not work fast enough. “Huh?”

He went out to further explain. “I broke up with my ex a year ago because I was falling for you. By the time we were in the backhouse in the soop, I was a goner. I knew that week.” His eyes stayed on me, one of his palms back to stroking my face. “I love you, Mayahuel.”

I never thought my heart would feel ready to combust. Every fiber of my body tingled as small amounts of electricity danced inside my cells. Tears of happiness erupted once again.

More happy pecks were shared.

It started light, but I quickly felt the heat start kicking in. Not wanting Jimin’s house to be the next place we consummated our new relationship, I decided to kid around with him. “Just don’t forget I’m the one who said it first.”

He let out a light laugh. “You might have said it first, but I definitely felt it first. I let you say it first, know that,” he said teasingly, biting my lower lip.

I gave him a light smack. “You really don’t want to turn this into a competition,” I warned. “I probably fell in love with you years ago, I just was suppressing it.”

“You said it was only a crush!”

I shrugged my shoulders. “That’s not the story I’ll be telling everyone,” I said, giving him a playful smile.

“You better play nice or I won’t feed you tomorrow,” he warned. “I know you’re running out of food. I’ll let you starve,” he joked with a flirtatious smile.

Giving him another smack, I let out a pout. “Be nice to me. All I’ve had today has been ramen which was probably five years old. I found it way in the back of some dirty cupboard.”

With that, Namjoon immediately pulled out his phone and ordered multiple dishes from one of my favorite places. He went on to order me groceries that would probably last me a week. He ignored the dozen times I told him he was going overboard.

I openly rolled my eyes at him.

He didn’t answer me; his eyes looking at my arms. We were both now on the couch, waiting on the food. His body and the blanket were providing a nice warmth, but it wasn’t enough for my body. “How are you still cold?” He reached over to grab the hoodie on the chair.

However, I stopped him. “Can I have the one you have on instead?”

“Why?” he asked with a frown, but I didn’t miss how he started to take off his hoodie.

“The other one has lost your smell,” I said honestly. “Plus, this one is already warm.”

He let out a chuckle, the hoodie now off him. He handed it to me gently.

As I put it on, I took in his body. I hadn’t noticed before because Namjoon tended to wear baggy clothes. He rarely put on clothes that rightly fit his frame. But now, without the sweater, I saw how much weight he had lost.

“Namjoon,” I said, concerned.

“What?” he asked, confused by my reaction.

“You look…different.” I wanted to say scrawny, but that wasn’t a nice word to use.

He waved his hand, dismissing it. “It’s not just because of what happened. I was traveling, remember? No time for the gym. Then I ended up being stuck indoors for close to three weeks. I got an appointment to meet with my trainer in a few days.”

I gave a nod, but still couldn’t help but feel guilty for my part in his state.

Namjoon was quick to catch on to my emotions. “Hey,” he said, tipping my chin up to meet his gaze. “No guilt, ok? It was a bad time, but we’re not going back there. We’re looking ahead.”

The next nod I gave was a little more confident.

Then, a chime came on, signaling our delivery had arrived. After retrieving the bags of food, we sat on the floor to eat. I probably shouldn’t be eating this late, but I was starving.

“What are your plans after coming out of quarantine? Can your apartment be ready by the time Jimin gets back?” Namjoon asked as he fed me some of his noodles.

I took them, hungrily. “I’m hoping so. I really hate apartment shopping.”

“Stay with me until it’s ready,” Namjoon immediately offered.

“Are we ready for that?” I asked him honestly.

He thought for a moment. “I want to be, but maybe we aren’t?”

“If you have to ask, then we aren’t. I don’t want to take a step we’re unsure of.”

He nodded and took a big bite from his noodles.

“Where do you want from us?” I asked. “I know you’ve always wanted to share your thoughts but held back. I don’t want to keep you from voicing what you want to say.”

He thought for a moment. “I want a nice dinner with you and my parents. I want to properly introduce you. I’d like to see if it’s at all possible to meet with your aunt Jia and Uncle John, formally. You consider them more like your parents.”

I smiled, thinking his wants were easy to meet. “My aunt and uncle will be here in a few weeks, so that’s easy to make happen.”

He frowned. “They’re coming? What for? Just for a visit?”

“Well, Sihyuk actually invited them. They’ll be visiting for about two weeks.”

“Why does Sihyuk want to meet with them?”

I then told him.

*********

~NAMJOON~

Weeks later….

There was only reason Namjoon had gone to HYBE on his day off was for moral support. Today was the day. And he was positive Maya’s anxiety would be spiking. He had seen her over his place earlier and her nerves were already jittery.

The elevator doors opened to his designated floor. He walked out and headed to the lobby, seeing one man and two women speaking to each other. The man and the older woman were sitting on the couch as the younger woman paced in front of them.

Yeah, her anxiety was spiking, Namjoon thought as he quickened his pace.

They were in such heavy discussion; he was positive they hadn’t heard him.

The couple was the first to notice him. He gave them a smile and polite bow.

Maya’s aunt and uncle got to their feet and greeted Namjoon back.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed Maya had stopped pacing and making her way to him. “What are you doing here?” she asked him. She was trying to hide the feeling of relief.

If her aunt and uncle hadn’t been present, he would have wrapped her in his arms to calm her. However, he had been raised to be a proper, Korean man and kept a proper distance. He got as close as he felt was respectful. “I told you I would meet you here,” he reminded her.

“Yeah, but I thought you meant it would be after the meeting.” He noticed how her legs leaned towards him, but she also kept her distance. She knew him well to know what he was comfortable with when it came to PDA. They had met with her aunt and uncle a few times for her to know.

“I wanted to be here to escort you if you wanted. And to answer any last-minute questions.”

“So, it really is going to be just the three of us and him? No other executives? No lawyers?” Asked Jia, still looking like she didn’t believe what had been said to her several times.

Namjoon smiled and nodded. “Sihyuknim cares and respects his artists. Having a meeting with the artist and their parents is something very important to him. He wants the parents to know he’s taking good care of their child. That he is willing to treat the artist like extended family. He did the same with us. It was just us, our parents—no lawyers—and we signed the contracts. It’s the reason why Big Hit is so small. He wants it to be a family business.”

John’s chest puffed a bit like he loved the idea that he was considered to be Maya’s parent. Jia’s smile spread wide, clearly feeling the same. There were even some tears in her eyes.

Jia seemed to shake herself out of it. “Namjoonah, is there a particular wine your parents really like? Mayita says they like wine but is unsure which is their favorite,” Jia said.

“I’ll message you an image of it,” Namjoon promised.

Maya’s aunt and uncle were going to meet Namjoon’s parents tonight. It had been Namjoon’s mother who had invited Maya’s family over.

Maya had been over for dinner at his parents' every weekend. Namjoon also had a feeling Eomuni would be inviting them to the house for Seollol.

“We would appreciate that, thank you,” responded Jia.

“How have you guys been sleeping?” Namjoon asked, curious. He remembered John mentioning the other day how the time difference was affecting his sleep.

“Better last night,” John said.

They were staying in Maya’s new apartment. Her old apartment was having too many issues with the renovations and wasn’t going to be ready for the initial date they had given Maya. The landlord let Maya out of her lease early, so she was able to look for another apartment.

While it had caused a lot of stress for Maya for a couple of weeks, something good came out of it. She had found an apartment in Namjoon’s community, so she was now a lot closer. They wouldn’t need to use so many drivers now since they were only walking distance from one another.

But even though they saw each other every day, they didn’t sleep in each other’s place. This time, Namjoon wanted to make sure their emotions were stable before they took that next step. Like before, Maya assured Namjoon that once he was ready then she would be, too. And it’s not like he didn’t want to sleep with her, because goddammit he did.

However, he was really enjoying the stage they were in. During the few weeks they had gotten back together, Maya had done such a turn-around. She was emotionally open and communicated very well with Namjoon. Gone were the days that she kept things to herself. The only time she did this was when she wasn’t sure what she was going through. And she told Namjoon so. When she got confused about something, rather than closing up, she let Namjoon know she needed time to decipher what she was feeling or thinking. This change in her made Namjoon fall deeper in love with her. He hadn’t thought it was possible, but it was the truth.

And the more he fell in love with her, the more he was drawn to her physically. It was getting harder to keep his hands off her. He was ready to make that next step with her. And he had a feeling it might be tonight. There were just a few things he needed to take care of.

“Should we start heading up?” asked John as he looked down at his watch.

We all turned to Maya.

She nodded, looking at little nervous.

Jia reached over and squeezed her arm before taking her husband’s hand. “Let’s go.”

John made a motion for Maya to lead the way.

As Maya walked, she took hold of Namjoon’s arm.

Together, they all walked towards the elevator. Plenty of eyes turned towards the four of them, their gaze lingering on Maya’s arm linked through Namjoon’s. He was sure Maya noticed the stares as well.

She didn’t seem bothered by them, though. She kept her head high in confidence.

Namjoon felt his heart swell and witnessed Maya feeling indifferent to the staff learning about her possibly romantic relationship with Bagntan’s leader, RM.

Yeah, he was definitely taking her to bed tonight.

**************

MASTERLIST

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 Sequel (Book II)

***********************

AN: This concludes the story I planned for Maya and Namjoon! Thank you everyone for coming along on this journey! I adored writing these two.

However, I do have some news—good or bad, I don't know. This story will be continuing. I haven’t been able to get rid of these two from my head. Mostly it’s because RM smutty songs keep inspiring me. The first chapter of their new story is up and linked here.

I have the story (mostly) mapped out. It won’t be a story as long as this one ( I hope). It will work mostly as a journey of the two learning how to navigate through a mature, adult relationship. I intend to have an equal amount of fluff and smut in every chapter. It will work more like chapters of drabbles than one, big story.

Similarly to ITMOTN, though, I’ll want a big chunk of the story written before I start posting.

#inthemiddleofthenight #in the middle of the night #friends to lovers #namjoon fanfic #bts fanfic #bts smut #rm smut #rm fanfic #namjoon x maya #kim namjoon #Spotify

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venushasvixens · 1 year

Text

Ch. 5 Escape - Baneful Royal (Kylo Ren x Reader)

[A/N] so the last time I had posted for this fic, it was a hot minute ago. And when I say hot minute, I mean about close to a year. SO with that being said, here is the 5th chapter. This one was kinda hiding underneath a bunch of commission files so finding it now was very nice. If you would like to read more Kylo fics from me, I have a Masterlist link in my bio, as well as a A03 and wattpad under the same name. Thank y’all for reading <3

There was no time to feel guilt.

There was no time to feel anything.

You were ushered without a thought. Running on autopilot, the disturbing sounds of a city thrown into chaos were drowned out with your focus elsewhere. Cate’s arm was looped into yours, the cloaked figure of Kylo walked in front of you without assistance or care. The deed was done, and the next step was approaching soon.

Pushed into a carrier, it wasn't until you felt the deep rumble of the ship coming to life that you finally came back to the present. Seated and strapped in, you glanced around you to see Cate at her place behind you. On her side, two guards of Ren stood like stone, waiting patiently. For what, you didn't know.

Voices spit out necessary actions for takeoff, with a confirmation greeting. A captain’s seat sat in the middle, with Kylo planted firmly. With each acknowledgment of action, he nodded. A shake, and you were off into the air and into the atmosphere.

“What’s happening now?” You turned to Cate. “Where are we going?”

You knew of your certain protection, but nothing else after. Had you left when the Colonel told you to, maybe you wouldn't have been labeled a possible enemy to the planet. Gone off quietly, you might have still been on Naboo. You showed yourself rather idiotically. With a hand out in offer, any chance of going home was thrown out the window.

Cate looked straight ahead blankly, ignoring your asking gaze.

“I said where are we going?” You asked. Ignored, you watched as Cate’s pupils flashed quickly to her side, towards the knights. Turning back in your chair, you realized. You sabotaged her mission, and any other advice or word could further deepen a possible and serious “demotion”.

Watching as Naboo faded away in the side windows, you were startled with Kylo's sudden announcement. “On our arrival, we are to ignite engines for light speed on route to Coruscant immediately.”

“This wasn't part of the plan.” You said aloud, shocked. “I didn’t agree to this part.”

“Then what was, councilwoman?” Kylo called to the reluctant voice. “Had you listened, we wouldn’t be taking the actions that we are now.”

“I wonder with whose help.” You spat back. The newly deceased governor was right. There was an argument wherever you went.

“The option to go back and drop you off is always open. But, I hope you realize that actions will have consequences.” He stated, almost tauntingly. “It would be a shame to see your head on a spike.”

“A favor was given for the good of the people.”

“They won’t see it that way.” He sneered, leather glove squeaking. “The truth is soon to come out. Where are you going to go when that does happen?”

It was best to shut up.

With many to witness, the assassination of a government official was without a doubt a high profiled crime to commit. To accompany the ill news, the revelation of a colleague and former head of state with her hand in his murder would surely send embarrassment to the planet. More harm was caused than good.

Maybe it was the smartest idea to escape.

You shut your eyes tightly as you the grim thought of Abie and Sara finding out. You lied to them both. Hatred was a driving factor, but not murder. You prayed that they could one day forgive you. It was probably going to take a long time to do.

You saw the faint reflection of the Finalizer bounce off the glass panels, indicating your destination was close.

“The Supreme Leader’s secondary vessel requesting permission to dock, copy.”

“Permission granted.” A modulated voice rang out. “Prepare to unload.”

The last First Order ship you had visited was nothing compared to this. The vast high ceilings towered over all, with as many small ships docked neatly into the walls. Officials ran amok, hurrying to finish a job or to clear the way. The ship jostled as it landed, causing you to tussle in your seat.

“Wow.” You whispered.

“I believe it is time to disembark, councilwoman.” You heard Kylo say, taking off his seatbelt. You did the same, standing up as gracefully as you could.

You felt the faint brush of Kylo’s cloak graze your leg. Standing next to you, but not fixated on you. His presence felt overpowering, like he had done this many times before. The adrenaline was still rushing in you, garnering you to shake and quiver slightly.

As the hatch opened, you saw two single file lines on either side of stormtroopers. They stood with their blasters in hands, looking straight ahead in respect. As you inched forward, you caught eye of a special trooper. Tall and donned in shining silver, this stormtrooper was like no other. A black cape hung over one shoulder, with a red line trimmed on its hem. With no eyes to look into, you could only imagine what kind of a being they were. Their air was grand, big shoes that were filed with fear and respect.

“Welcome back, sir.” They said to Kylo. Their feminine tone was evident in their voice, clear and orderly. You had no thoughts, except one. If they are a she, then that is one big woman.

Still in awe, you almost missed the silver commander’s next question. “Have we acquired the subject?”

“Affirmative, Captain.” Kylo replied, walking next to her.

“Hold on, subject?!” You called out, still two steps behind them. You tried to rush to Kylo, desperate for answers. Before you could reach him, gloved hands pulled you by your forearms and held you back. You glanced at them both, visors staring down menacingly at you. With Cate’s footsteps echoing off the ramp, the image of her strode in front of your person. Still blank.

“You are to be escorted onto the ship until we hit lightspeed.” Was all she said before turning and joining Kylo.

Your head dropped. All of this felt fake. Nothing of it felt real at all. Not even an hour ago, you were home. With a skip in your step about the future and being free of the thorn in your side, only to be replaced with another. Slowly and painfully, it was going to be hard to dig this one out.

A First Order vessel. Shooting out of the sector and into the inner Rim. The death of a political official and your life as you know it. All within a short amount of time. The time to process it began as you were escorted out of the hangar and into the ship itself.

You felt like you were hit with a ton of bricks.

The hallways bustled with every employee of the Order, rushing to unknown locations. The memo of lightspeed must’ve been ordered quickly. All of their heads were down as you passed them, averting their eyes from walking cloaks of darkness on either of your side.

You clasped your hands in front, careful to take note from those around you. You glanced up at the Knights, whose boots clanked almost like the Supreme Leader’s. There was emptiness to their step, like strictly programmed droids who were on the way to the next task.

“Are you both allowed to talk to me?” You asked, looking up at one of them. They continued in silence. “I see. Maybe a vow of silence.”

You felt the need to press further. It looked like a risky attempt to talk to monsters carrying you to your death. Risky, or maybe sad.

“Those weapons look menacing. Serious damage to anyone that crosses you.”

Silence.

“Good, I didn’t want to talk to you bucketheads anyways.” You muttered, rather disappointed from the one sided talk.

You heard the same leather squeak from them like you did with Kylo earlier. You looked down at one gripping his weapon rather tightly. You swallowed, yet taking another que. At least it relieved some of the stress you were carrying, saying that. Sad that they were in your path of insult, but then again, you would swiftly be met with a blade in your throat.

The tight hallway grew to a broader area, full with more First Order personnel. Stormtroopers guarded every corner, standing at full attention. The knights beelined you to two sets of blast doors, with people bustling about. Most walked in and out, in pairs or with a holopad in hand. When coming into their sight, there was another hush among them. But this time, there were slivers of notice. Gawked at wasn’t new to you, but the setting was.

The blast doors opened, revealing the bridge of the ship. Various stations were hard at work operating the ins and outs of the ship’s defense and operation. So focused, there was no acknowledgment of your presence. There was a quick conclusion that if they were looking anywhere besides their screen, they would be shot on sight.

Ahead of you were the giant windows out looking at Naboo. It felt like a screen, seeing your home from miles above the surface. Growing bigger as you were walked further in, you couldn't help but tear up just a little.

These conflicting feelings of justifying your dark deed for the good of the planet and your own wounded morals clashed against one another, fighting for the dominance of your stand. You had sickened you, the need to fill your own selfish gain. Moment of passion destroyed your life as you had known it. Now it was time to pay the consequences, but stubborn as you were, it was going to be hard to accept it.

“You are to wait here. Our Master will join shortly.” One Knight croaked, voice startling you out of your moment of sentiment.

They backed up some, keeping their distance. The blast doors opened again, this time the flamed hair general jaunting towards you. You flipped around, taking in a deep sigh. Bound to be on an official First Order ship, you had to at least expect to see him sooner or later.

“Ah, councilwoman.” He shot you a grim, wide smile. “We meet again, under some unfortunate circumstances.”

“Unfortunate, indeed.” You replied, gripping your hands tightly. “Where’s the Supreme Leader?”

“Oh come now, at least give me a chat.” He feigned disappointment mockingly. “After all, this is my setting, my domain. I am more than welcoming.”

“I’ve been told, or rather talked over, that we are to be out of this sector any minute now.” You said. “The Supreme Leader cannot possibly be holding out on an escape.”

“I wouldn’t call it an escape, councilwoman. However, we may just have a chance at some resolution to the chaos that put us here in the first place?” Hux raised his brows.

You tried to read his face to see if it had some truth. You silently hoped that you weren't being pushed into another set up. Peace with Naboo was what you so desperately strived for. It would calm your worried mind. If it meant that you could never return to maintain harmony, you would take it. But not without heartbreak.

“Then let us try.” Hux finished, turning his back to you as he continued with his recent assessment for departure. How acutely they all listened, hanging on to every quip and jeer he threw out in his words. Still able to take orders under such stress, unlike you did. “Annoying as this inconvenience is.”

“I did what I did for a reason. You would too if you were pushed so far.” You snarled back. “Would you have done it too?”

Hux glared at you, his face changing so slightly. Eyes softened, almost to sympathize. Human as you both were, maybe it did cross his mind of holding himself out from the rest. He glanced up. The doors opened and Kylo glided in. The scowl came back and so was the top general of the First Order.

“I give commands and follow orders.” He said. “I see no reason for such emotion.”

“It's a proper system for a machine to work. There's a purpose for it.” Kylo followed up, his helmet still on. “But we are not droids.”

“And you encouraged it.” You said to him, staring into his dark visor. “I'm not the only one at fault here.”

“Who said it was not the right thing?” You heard Kylo said lowly in his helmet. Moving closer to you, his voice was soft enough to not be picked up by the vocoder. “Put trust in that decision, (Y/n).”

Biting down on your lip, losing your focus on him.

“Put trust in me.”

A beep sounded off loudly on the bridge. “This is the Security Force of Naboo requesting urgent communication with your vessel.”

Breathing in deeply, you felt as if your heart was going to burst out of your chest. Thumping loudly, rhythmically against your rib cage, you would rather your heart did some damage right now. Anything to avoid this, avoid your betrayal.

“Stay here. Leave communication to us.” Kylo said. “You will not move from your spot, unless I say otherwise.”

“I will not move from this spot unles you say otherwise.” Aghast at the loss of control of your body, your feet planted where they stayed. Frozen once more.

“Holograph transmission, sir. Permission to accept?” A controller asked from their position.

Permission granted.”

Kylo and Hux stood in front of the transmission circle, their fronts lighting up with the familiar blue light. You drew in your breath as you saw the Queen, standing solemnly with Abie at her side. The Queen conveyed a deep seriousness you knew deep inside her. Dormant, having been cast aside when the council had done it for her. It wasn’t the childlike display of fear that was present. No. It was the face of a proper monarch, ready to take on her new challenge for her people.

“Appearance is everything,” you told her. “They won’t just take your words into consideration.”

For a brief moment, the creeping anxiety of your situation disappeared. In its place, was pride. Just for a second. Abie, on the other hand. A different story. His anger seethed off of him, being well seen from almost everyone on the bridge.

“Your Majesty, to what we owe the pleasure of your company?” Hux said.

“There is none, General. I would like to be told of the reason for my urgent return to the palace, with my home in disarray and chaos. Our Governor slain and my councilwoman nowhere to be seen.” She proclaimed. “Even with our arms open to your presence in our desperate hour, we are repaid with nothing but hardship.”

“Although a controversial decision, your majesty, it was the right one.” Kylo began, taking over for Hux. After all, who wouldn’t want to hear the murderer tell his side of the story? “Let's face the clearer picture. Governor Sillin was a joke to Naboo. A laughing stock to the galaxy. So in fairness, the First Order did what was the preferable outcome.”

“Did this outcome happened to include the disappearance of Councilwoman (L/N)?” Queen Revisalla snapped back, her tone grew sharp. “Full control is what you strive for, then so be it. But I ask, no I demand that she be returned alive and unharmed.”

“I see.” Kylo replied, feigning a deep thought. “I’m afraid I cannot allow for the release of her into your hands.”

“And why?” Revisalla asked, the tension from her and Abie grew even more. “This is beyond ridiculous. To capture a government official and a former monarch is a serious crime.”

“That does not matter to us, as you can tell your majesty.” Hux cut in, clasping his hands behind his back. “We did ask for full allegiance in order for help from our forces. Young as you are, do try to take a smarter route and think of this as a small price for our assistance.”

How badly you wanted to break free of your place and take down Hux as well. You wouldn’t need a saber for this, only your bare hands.

“I understand your emotions, your majesty. “Kylo stepped forward. “There is a shared understanding when something dear is taken away from us. It becomes a driving force, our mindset. Sometimes for the better.”

You gazed at the queen. Her eyes glanced down, in deepful thought. It wounded deeply as you saw her face drift into each possibility and hard decision. Everything was spilling over. Whatever was to happen next was going to determine your place. Your life was on the line. And so were the million lives on the planet.

“I will not back down without a fight for this.” Revisalla spoke clearly. “We will bring her back, with your help or not. I will see to it that she is returned home alive.”

Your breath was knocked out of you. There was a vague idea on what kind of response that would be.

“So be it.” Kylo said.

“As you left us no choice your majesty, we must do what is necessary.” Hux proclaimed, turning to the rest of the bridge. “All personnel to their stations. Deploy the TIEs. Let's make sure the message is sent.”

“Yes, sir.” The voiced response was swift, echoing in your ears as the worst had to come. Still frozen to your spot, there was no way physically that you could try to stop this. But you were going to try. You heaved as you struggled to move. The fight response in you cried out to be released.

“Wait, no!” You screamed. Suddenly, as if to be let off a chain, you stumbled forward. Catching your step, you rushed to the hologram, panting. Revisalla took a sudden intake of breath, surprised. So did Abie. Shaking your head, you held up your hands. “You don’t want to do this. Please do not do this.”

“Halt the deployment of TIEs.” Hux commanded. Your adrenaline dropped in relief.

“Is your safety compromised, Lady (Y/n)?” The queen asked you. Abie’s appearance could’ve looked just like yours, relieved but shaken.

“No, I’m fine. I’m okay.” You breathed. “I beg your majesty to listen. One person to an entire people, it cannot happen.”

“Excellent point.” Hux mumbled.

You ignored his remark as you tried to find the right words. “I am not worth it. If this is where my path leads me, this is where I stay. I need you to understand that.”

Revisalla swallowed, her fingers slightly tugging on her long sleeve. Not only were you talking to her, but to your heartbroken friend as well. He looked down, so still you thought the hologram was frozen.

“I understand. Efforts in the future to retrieve your person will be permanently terminated.” Strong and loud, you felt the tug of loss. You were now officially a subject to the First Order.

You nodded.

“Before our communication is severed, there is something I need to ask of you.” Revisalla added. “There are words of your involvement in the death of the governor.”

You felt Kylo’s presence flair behind you. His air taunted you as the cold truth was about to be let loose in the open. This was a moment that he was waiting for, as if he was waiting for the downfall of your life.

“Is there truth to this?” She finally said.

You looked back at Kylo. As it pained you to say, this truly meant there was no way to return back to home. The tie would be forever severed. The planet would be safe. Abie and Sara would be safe. The queen will be safe. And maybe peace will find its way back to Naboo, with a brighter future for everyone. The one you so longed to see.

“Yes.” You replied firmly. “I killed Sillin.”

Abie’s shoulders fell in defeat. Revisalla nodded solemnly. The disappointment from both of them radiated strongly.“I-“

“There you have it, your majesty. Loud and clear.” You were cut off from Hux. “It is now time that we make our departure from the sector.”

“I bid you all farewell.” Revisalla’s tone was monotonous, professional. Just another goodbye to visiting “diplomats”. The hologram faded and you were left with the sight of Naboo once again.

#fanfiction #star wars #ben solo #kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren headcanons #kylo ren trash #Ben swolo #ben solo deserves to live #adam driver #force awakens #rise of skywalker #the last jedi #kylo ren imagines #general hux

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owliellder · 8 months

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The Finer Details

Post DI! Leon Kennedy x f! Painter Reader

MDNI 18+

(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)

Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..

Author Note: I wanna say there's some pretty descriptive talk about depression in this chapter, just as a heads up. Anyways, it's my weekend and I'm going to be absolutely zooted every single day so the next chapter will most likely be out Monday morning PST lol.

Cross-posted on AO3

Session 3: Blocking In Color

It was nearly three weeks until you saw Leon again.

You tried to call him a couple days after he'd left that day, a few more times over the following week, but to no avail. The man was unreachable.

Even though you did your best to convince yourself that you just wanted to get his painting started, "It was an important one", you knew that you were really just worried about him.

You've seen this kind of dismay with the other retired agents that've had a portrait painted in the past, but they at least recognized what they'd been through.

Leon hasn't. You could just tell.

Looking over the sketches you made of his face, you couldn't help but wonder what exactly he'd been thinking about the last time he was here. He seemed so bothered, acting like he was hiding it so well, too.

Then again, you did drop a rather large bombshell on the guy while he was in a pretty vulnerable state, but you thought he knew what the portrait he was going to receive was suppose to mean. Again, most of the retired agents you'd seen were similar to Leon in that regard and even they at least had a basic grasp on the finality of it all. So why didn't he?

You nursed your bottom lip, still staring at the sketches laying in front of you while you sat at one of your desks in the corner. You normally don't come to your workspace unless you're actively painting, yet you'd shown up everyday in hopes Leon would randomly pop in. He seemed like the kind of guy to just kind of show up, anyways...

If you had just gotten a picture that day you've could've at least started working out the positioning for his portrait. Unfortunately, he wasn't in any position mentally to put up with anymore of your shenanigans at the time, it seemed.

You really did try your best to get ahold of Leon, eventually giving up a few days ago. You'd already emailed the President, who had been the one to personally commission you unlike with previous ex-agents, letting him know that it's going to be longer than expected. Thankfully he was understanding, knowing rather well how much the whole retirement thing was weighing on Leon.

You'll come back tomorrow and try again. Even the next day, and the day after that if you have to, and so on and so forth.

Guilty. That's all Leon felt right now.

He's been shelled up in his house since the moment he got home after leaving your building, withering away by the minute.

He hadn't showered, barely eaten, only ever really pulling himself from what little comfort his room offered to grab whatever bottle he touched first in the cabinet. Leon didn't care, just as long as it was something.

Chris had been over a couple times after he stopped responding to his messages, doing his best to get him out of the house. Claire had been over a few times more than her brother had, bringing groceries once she'd heard about the sad state Leon was keeping himself in.

It broke both their hearts, but they could only do so much for him. Leon was stubborn, head strong, he wasn't the kind to sway to many forces. He had somehow gaslit himself into thinking he was doing well. "Just peachy", even.

Clearly that wasn't the case, both Chris and Claire could see that. They'd have to be blind not to.

Having been in contact with Leon's government-assigned therapist, Chris tried to set up an at-home meeting for him one day. That turned out to be a disaster seeing as Leon was bordering on blackout drunk and could barely keep his eyes open. Not to mention the vomiting.

Claire even tried to bathe Leon. She only got far enough to wash his hair in his kitchen sink, using his vomit-covered mouth as an excuse to keep him over the sink long enough to shampoo his greasy, stringy hair.

All of it was weighing on him too much. He felt so guilty for making his friends feel like they had to babysit him, ignoring everyone's calls and messages, your calls and messages. That kind of thought process quickly spiraled into him reliving the worst days of his life, having to through suffer so many flashbacks and nightmares, not sleeping because of it. He rarely ever felt safe enough to get under the covers on his bed.

None of this is what he wanted. If it were up to him, he'd start all over; be twenty-one again, work as a cop, maybe get promoted a few times, find a girlfriend, start a family, have a normal life. Why couldn't he have that?

Staying awake night after night, Leon would stare at the ceiling in his bedroom and fantasize about the wonderful life he could've had, the happy memories he could've made. It would make him weep, longing for something that never could've been.

Instead, Leon was stuck with endless images of horror, death, and gore every time he blinked, and oh was he bitter about it all. So bitter, so angry, so...

Feeling sorry for himself was all he could do now. Sure, he killed all those monsters and zombies, saved all those people, not once did he think about himself through the years. Now he had all the time in the world to question and wonder, and having to think about himself and what he wanted most made him feel like a needy, greedy bastard.

But wasn't he allowed to be greedy, if only just a little? He had wants, needs, and though he wanted so desperately to change his past, he knew he couldn't. So, what did he want now? That, he didn't know.

Guilty for feeling this way, guilty for wanting different, guilty for wanting anything good for himself.

It took the better part of those two weeks for Leon to finally muster up some form of energy to stumble into his bathroom and shower one afternoon, dizzy and nauseous. The light emanating from the rest of his house was blinding, not having even bothered to close the shades he had on any of his windows. His room was kept a cave and that's where he stayed.

Leon now found himself sitting down in the shower just like before he'd decided to retire, only this time it was mostly to keep from slipping and dying. The last thing he needed anyone to see was him naked and dead in the shower. Embarrassing.

His thoughts at the moment were shallow, still pretty drunk from his bender, head lulling back and forth a bit as his vision spun. He was finally hungry again, the heat from the shower making that all the more obvious as he grew lightheaded, but he didn't know what he wanted.

After managing to actually crawl his way out of the shower, he dug through the pile of dirty laundry at the end of his bed, finding a pair of boxers that didn't smell too terrible to put on.

Leon used the wall heavily for support to walk out into his kitchen, muttering curses under his breath at just how bright it was. Opening his freezer, he stared at the meal prep containers left by Claire, grabbing one to attempt and read what she'd wrote on the sticky note attached to the lid.

That's right... She made him little meals, even putting them in the freezer so they didn't go bad as fast. All he had to do was put it in the microwave.

Simple enough, he could do that.

The one he chose was meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Just the sound of it had his stomach rumbling and his mind craving the comforting taste of a home cooked meal.

The first few bites in made Leon feel nauseous again, but once those bites hit his stomach the feeling immediately gave way to just how hungry he actually was.

He tried to pace himself, he really did try, yet he managed to devour the food in front of him in a matter of minutes, only pausing every few seconds to breathe. It felt so good, something warm in his stomach. Filling in all the right ways. Once he finished, he pushed the empty container away and just laid his head down sideways on the cool countertop, closing his eyes as he let the food settle.

As much as he wanted to degrade himself for acting this way, reducing himself to such a weird and pathetic state, Leon didn't have the mind to. All he knew right now was that the warmth that the meal Claire made him. Not to sound cliche, but he genuinely believed he could taste the love cooked into it.

For the first time in what was now two and a half weeks, Leon was awake and alert when Chris and Claire came over again. He'd eaten everything Claire made, holding all the now cleaned containers out to her. It was a silent plea for more, and lucky for Leon, she had just made another grocery trip for him.

Unbeknownst to him, Claire had been cooking here at his house. This entire time he thought she'd been bringing the meals over, assumed to be leftovers from cooking for her family. She did confess to hoping the smell of the food cooking would pull him from his room. It didn't, much to her dismay, but now she was just glad he was up and eating again.

As soon as Leon tried to apologize for dragging her away from her family, she was quick to shut him down with that mom stare she'd developed after having her kids. It worked, especially on him.

Chris was busy chatting up Leon while Claire cooked him another set of meals for the next week. It was hard to converse, but Leon did manage to nod and him as the other man talked about some random encounter he had the other day while out driving.

It was strange to feel so lively again. Those thoughts still clung to the back of his mind, though all he could focus on were his friends taking care of him like one of their own. Leon feels like he's been a terrible friend lately, seems as though the siblings standing in his kitchen didn't feel the same. He wasn't showing it, but Leon was definitely holding back a smile.

A couple hours had past, Chris opting to stay with Leon and eat lunch since Claire had to head back and help her husband with something.

The hug Claire gave Leon was phenomenal. After the hug he shared with you he's been craving that physical contact more than ever, so finally getting another good squeeze from a friend was boosting his mood.

Chris and him sat, ate, and talked about whatever came to mind, eventually asking about you.

"How's the painting coming along? Do you like the painter?" He smiled, looking at Leon with wide, curious eyes. That man always had a smile gracing his features.

Leon shrugged, taking a sip from the water he poured himself not too long ago. He was pretty dehydrated after solely drinking alcohol for the past couple weeks. "She's alright. Haven't started the painting yet."

Chris raised an eyebrow, placing his arms on the counter and crossed them as he leaned forward slightly. "Just 'alright'?" he emphasized the word "alright" with air quotes, which caused Leon to scoff.

"What else do you want me to say? I've seen her twice so far and its been fine." Leon lifted his hands up in confusion, palms facing the ceiling as he watched the man sitting next to him rolled his eyes dramatically. "C'mon, she was amazing for Claire and I- Okay, how about this..."

Chris repositioned himself so his entire upper body was facing him now, leaning in a little closer to ask another question. "Do you like the room she works in? Cause I thought it was pretty comfy. When she was focusing on Claire's part of the portrait, I took a nap over on that rug she had. All those pillows mixed with the classical music knocked me the fuck out."

He laughed, shaking his head at memory before looking over at Leon again. "So...? And don't lie to me, I saw that pillow on your couch."

Leon sucked on his teeth and hummed, glancing over his shoulder at his couch. "It's cozy, yeah." He brought his head back forward, patting his hands gently against the counter.

The two chatted for awhile longer before Chris eventually had to leave, giving Leon a firm pat on the shoulder while shaking him a bit. After he left, Leon was left to sit alone and think again, only difference now is he felt better. He was crazy tired, his social battery quickly drained from having his friends around, but he felt good nonetheless.

He wasn't ready at the time, yet after a sober night with solid sleep, Leon woke up the next morning and decided to just text you, hoping you weren't mad at him. Calling would've been too much at that moment, not even have listened to the voicemails you left, or anyone's, for that matter.

His chest felt tight after sending the text, but it was quickly eased about ten minutes later when you responded with nothing but enthusiasm. The smiley face you added at the end of your message made him smile, quickly wiping it away with his hand.

Your next session was arranged two days ahead of time in the late afternoon. Leon wanted to give himself enough time to recollect since he needed to look his best the following weeks. You told him it was time to start with the main painting, which you still needed a picture for.

During that time he finally shaved his stubble, went out and got his hair trimmed, tackled all the laundry he'd neglected, and got his best suit dry cleaned. All thoughts aside, he felt good and wanted to stay this way.

Needless to say, Leon was jittery when he pulled up to your workplace again. He was finally letting himself feel excited again about this painting. If it's anything close to what Chris and Claire's portrait is, then that excitement will only continue to grow the further along you get.

You were already there waiting for him at the door, a gentle smile on your face. That wonderful soft perfume that he missed reaching his nose once more as you lead him up the stairs and through the other door. Chris was right, if he had the opportunity, he'd take a nap on your rug. It looked mighty comfy.

Leon was thankful you didn't ask any questions on his whereabouts, he wasn't ready to talk. You were just as excited as he was about getting the painting started, if not more. Watching you eagerly move back and forth between the larger easel and your desks was a refreshing sight to the man.

You stood at your easel for a couple minutes, just silently looking from the blank canvas to where he was sat. You told him to get into a comfortable position, prompting him rest his right leg on his left knee, leaning back and to the side so he was sitting at a slight angle, arms resting on the chair's armrests.

You stared at him for a few seconds, tilting your head side to side with your eyes squinted. "Let me just-" you spoke in a hushed voice, walking over to Leon before cautiously reaching out to rest one hand on the underside on his chin while the other hovered over the side of his face.

You weren't an idiot, you knew what his absence was from. So you made sure to be careful with him, knowing he was probably still pretty fragile. Only gentle and cautious touches for Mr. Kennedy.

So close yet so far. His skin tingled in your hands wake, and god he hoped you couldn't notice his blush.

You could, but you wouldn't say anything. Besides, you weren't faring well yourself, hands a little shaky as you touched his face.

Leon just let you move his head to whatever position you wanted, his eyes now half-lidded as you had walked back a couple times to get just the right angle. You pulled away for a final time with a small "aha!" and he wished you would hold his head for just a little longer.

The floor where your easel sat was marked with an 'X' made with painter's tape, making it easy for you to stay in the right spot for the photo once you pushed the easel out of the way.

"Don't move." You held your hands up after analyzing his position, quickly hurrying over the corner opposite of your desks to grab a bulky camera that sat atop a tall tripod. You worked as fast as you could, knowing as long as you had a picture with him in this position then this whole process would go so much smoother.

You didn't even have to ask Leon to smile or look up at the camera since he was sitting there with a rather dopey smile, his eyes remaining trained right on yours. Nice and natural. He looked relaxed which is exactly what you wanted.

Just as a precaution, you took multiple pictures, giving him a thumbs up once you figured you'd gotten enough. His head back to rest on the chair at the okay, listening to the sound of you walk over to your laptop after untwisting the camera from the tripod. You printed out 3 copies of the photograph and taped one to a stand you had brought over to sit next to the easel, making sure it sat eye level to you.

The ball was finally rolling, now having what you needed to start with the main sketch. When Leon lifted his head up, he noticed that you were ready, sucking in a sharp breath through his nose while he shifted a little to get back in just the right position.

You twirled your pencil between your fingers before beginning to roughly sketch out the chair, eyebrows furrowing as you focused. Leon could see your expression, how intensely you zoned into your work. It was incredibly admirable and he found himself fully content in just watching you do your thing.

It didn't take long before you had sketched out his general shapes, now walking over to take the sketches you made of his face out of your sketchbook to clip up right next to the reference photo. The more finer details would be added later, but you wanted to get just the basic shapes of his face.

That didn't take long either, because before Leon knew it, you were telling him it was okay to talk. He was pretty animated with his hands when he talked, so you kept him quiet until now.

"Am I easy to draw?" Leon spoke with an almost sultry tone after a few seconds of you telling him he could speak. It threw you off only a bit, carding your fingers through your hair as you took one step back to look at what you had so far.

"I wanna say yes and no." You responded, catching his questioning look from the corner of your eye. "You're easy to sketch out, yes, but your hair is giving me trouble." You could hear a low chuckle rumble from his chest as you stepped back forward. "Hey, you asked." You laughed back.

"I know, I know." He shook his head with a poorly hidden grin, tilting his head down to try and hide it a little better. You immediately pointed your pencil at him, not taking your eyes off the canvas. "I said you could talk, not move." Your sarcastic tone made him chuckle again, slowly lifting his head back up with a sigh.

"Yes, ma'am." You could just hear the smirk in his words, causing you to let out a sigh of your own.

By the time the sun had started to set, you had blocked out all the simple colors for the painting. Right now, it just looked like a very bland and abstract painting. It'll come together, slowly but surely. Trust the process, as people say.

Leon was in awe already, having stood up to look at your progress as you washed your hands over in the small bathroom. Oil paints smeared something fierce and as much as you loved your job, you did not want feel oily at home.

"It already looks stunning." You heard the man say from where he stood in front of the easel. It wasn't quite registering in his brain that it was him on that canvas just yet, but hopefully soon it would.

He wanted to recognize himself in something as wonderful as your art.

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nicoline1998enilocin · 11 months

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Yours, Forever | Chapter 5

PAIRING | Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 3.7K

SUMMARY | Y/N finds out about the bar exam, and has to share the great news with everyone. She realizes she has to tell Bucky she will be going on a trip to Italy for 3 months with Eve, but she doesn't know he has a surprise planned for her.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Swearing, smut [ oral (f receiving), fingering, squirting, light praise kink ].

A/N | Hi everyone, thank you so much for reading my first ever fic! I would like to start off by saying that English isn’t my first language (I’m Dutch after all 😉) so every mistake you find – spelling or otherwise – is completely my own. I would appreciate you spreading the love about this fic, and I ofcourse hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Likes and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Series masterlist | Chapter 4 | Chapter 6

'Doll, you should look at the screen, because you're going to work for S.I. very soon', those words just kept bouncing around in Y/N's head, just like the kiss she shared with Bucky. Those soft lips, the even softer kiss they shared after she found out she's going to take the oath and becoming a lawyer. The kiss that neither of them wanted to pull away from, but it just felt right in that moment. All the excitement and love poured into that one kiss, it felt like heaven on earth. Her hands on his broad chest just felt right, like they always belonged there. The look in his eyes when she pulled way told her everything she wanted to know. He wants her too, just like she has been wanting him since their first meeting.

Suddenly, the realization came rushing back that she would be leaving for the 3 month trip around Italy soon, and she couldn't bare to tell Bucky that she had to leave, so soon after they finally found each other. She decided to worry about that after this conversation, because she had to tell her dad the good news first. She went to the bakery right away after she found out, she just couldn't wait until she saw him again tonight. She opened the door and the familiar smell of the bakery was hanging in the air, her dad as excited as always to see her. ''Hey sunshine, your glowing like the actual sun!'' he welcomed her with a big smile on his face. ''Well, that's because I have some great news to share with you dad. I just found out I passed the bar exam, so I will officially become a lawyer! The results were posted online about 30 minutes ago, I came here right away to tell you!'' she said, but her face got flushed with the memory of the kiss with Bucky.

''I have a feeling I'm not the first to hear about this news?'' he said with a knowing smirk on his face, because Tony had secretly kept him up to date about his plans to play cupid for Y/N and Bucky. ''Okay, you got me, but can we not talk about that here? I don't want everyone to know, dad...'' she said shyly. They walked into his office in the back of the bakery, and shut the door so the staff knew not to interrupt them. ''Over the last year, I kind of developed a... a little crush, I guess... on Bucky. The night of the party he came to help me when you went to get Tony, and ever since then we have bonded a lot, mostly over books and things like that, and somewhere along the way I started to get feelings for him. It feels like he is my soulmate, dad, but I'm still scared, especially after what happened last time...'' she continued as tears welled up in her eyes. Her dad grabbed her arms softly and rubbed loving circles with his thumb in order to sooth her a little bit, patiently waiting for her to continue.

''But I haven't told anyone how I felt yet, well besides Tony obviously, I'm well aware he told you about Bucky. He's not as smooth as he thinks he may be sometimes...'' she said followed by a soft chuckle. ''Well, I accidentally ran into him when I was going to look at my results and he noticed I was nervous, so he offered to look at them with me, so we did. Out of my excitement that I passed I kissed him, and it felt so right dad, it honestly felt like the world just faded away and we were the only people left. Then I remembered I'm going to Italy with Eve next week, and I'll be gone for three months and I don't know how to tell him that because I don't want to break his heart, or my own for that matter.'' she finished with a deep red hue on her face. ''I don't want to hurt him by giving him the feeling that I'm running away for three months right after this happened.'' she stated.

Her dad took her face in his hand and said ''Sunshine, first of all I'm happy you passed the exam, but we will come back to that later. I honestly think you should tell Bucky how you feel, or at the very least let him know that even though you will be leaving next week, it is not because of your kiss. He will understand, you had this trip with Eve planned for 8 months now, I'm sure he'll get that you're not leaving because of him. Judging by the things Tony told me, Bucky practically worships the ground you walk on, he noticed every little glance he threw your way. The least you can do is tell him you're going, you owe him that much, sunshine.'' and Y/N knew her dad was right as always, he knew just the right things to say. ''You're right dad, thank you for listening to me, I'm glad I will always have you to confide in.'' and she pulled him in for a big hug.

She asked her dad for some treats for Tony and all the other Avengers, so she could tell them the good news, because she would be seeing them a lot more after becoming a lawyer and working at the Compound. Once she arrived back at the Compound, she noticed all the Avengers were back, and asked JARVIS to send everyone to the big conference room in 2 hours for an important meeting, which he did. She took her laptop from her dad's bakery with her this time, so she still had time to FaceTime Eve before the meeting with the Avengers. ''Hey Babe, what's going on?!'' Eve asked with a worried face, and suddenly Y/N realized it is 4 AM back in the Netherlands, she woke up her best friend.

''Oh god Eve, I'm so sorry I woke you up! I have some incredible news to share and I couldn't wait for another week to tell you... You know I took the bar exam a couple weeks ago right? To become a lawyer in New York? Well, I FOUND OUT I PASSED THE EXAM! I'M GONNA BE A LAWYER!'' she exclaimed and happy tears trailed down her face, the excitement finally coming out. Eve and Y/N celebrated for a little bit before she went back to sleep, they said their goodbyes and not long after that, the Avengers came in one after the other. She introduced herself to everyone she hasn't seen yet - Scott, Sam, Clint, Natasha, Wanda, Thor and Loki - and gave a big hug to Steve who already knew what happened since Bucky couldn't keep his mouth shut. Then Bucky walked in after him, and the two of them immediately got a red flush on their faces, remembering the kiss a few hours ago. They gave each other a hug anyways, and held on for a bit longer than usual, not wanting to let each other go.

When everyone sat down, Tony and Pepper walked in together, Y/N practically running up to the both of them, almost pushing them over in her excitement and the hugs she gave. ''Ah, now I understand why we were asked here, Tony is leaving Pepper for her...'' Sam scoffed but got a piercing look from Bucky and Steve so he immediately shut up. Once everyone sat down, she firstly introduced herself to everyone. ''Well, hi everyone, as you know by now I'm Y/N Y/L/N. During the party a year ago Tony announced I would maybe be working for S.I. as head of the legal department and as his lawyer, and as you may have guessed by now, I will officially be taking on those roles as soon as I have taken the oath in a couple of months.'' Bucky and Steve had an incredibly proud and loving look on their face, the other Avengers whooped and applauded loudly. Tony and Pepper had such big smiles on their face, Y/N was sure they would rip in half if they didn't stop smiling soon.

Tony was the first to get up and walk towards Y/N, picking her up in a big bear hug. ''I told you you would pass it! I always believe in you honey, don't you ever forget that. Congratulations! Have you told your dad yet?'' he asked when he put her down, and Y/N nodded, saying she told him right after she got the results. She glanced over at Bucky, not wanting to tell him about the kiss in front of everyone. Next up came Pepper, ''We're so incredibly proud of you, honey, we really are. Welcome to the family!'' she said, and Y/N acted a little offended and scoffed that she already was part of the family. There were more congratulations coming from the room, and she thanked everyone. ''Now that the meeting is over, you can all go back to what you were doing before, I still have some work to do!'' Y/N said.

All the Avengers came by for a hug and to congratulate her personally, Nat and Wanda saying they should get together for a girls night soon so they can get to know Y/N better since she will be part of the family now. Thor and Loki were the last ones to congratulate her and leave, leaving only Y/N and Bucky in the room. He didn't want to go just yet, and she didn't want him to go either. Y/N closed the door and walked up to Bucky to tell him she would be leaving for three months, but before she had the chance to do anything she was swept off her feet by Bucky. He gently put her down on the table and stood between her legs, softly cupping her cheeks with his big hands. ''You know, ever since you kissed me earlier, it was all I could think about, how I want more of those. It just felt so right, and I would like to congratulate you again.'' he said with lust filled eyes looking into her own.

Bucky slowly closed the gap between them again, and when he felt her soft lips against his again, his brain instantly turned to mush and all he could think about was her lips, and how soft she felt under his hands. She wrapped her legs around Bucky's waist in order to pull him even closer and put her hands over his shoulders. He licked her bottom lip for entrance which she happily granted, their tongues exploring and tasting each other like it was a matter of life and death. After a little while they became slow, loving, lazy kisses as if they have done it a million times before. They finally leave and Y/N realized she was absolutely dripping with wetness, her panties positively soaked and she felt Bucky's erection against her thigh. As much as she would have wanted him to fuck her right then and there, she still had to tell him about the Italy trip.

Softly panting, Y/N said his name, but it didn't register at first. ''Bucky!'' she said again, and he finally stepped back a little and looked at her. ''I have to tell you something, and I'm not quite sure about the best way to do it so I'm just gonna say it. I'll be leaving to go on a trip to Italy next week, and I'll be gone for three months. I'm sorry.'' she said with a hurt look in her eyes, feeling her heart being shattered. ''I'm going on a road trip through Italy with my best friend from the Netherlands, Eve, and we will be gone for three months to catch up, and enjoy life before I will be a lawyer and all that.'' she said, seeing the same hurt in his eyes. He took another step back, letting go of her completely now. ''Three months?!'' he said in his deep voice, but softer than normal. ''How am I supposed to survive three months without you there?! I don't think I'll be able to survive for that long without those amazing kisses, and the way your breath feels against my neck when we cuddle, your soft touch against my skin when I touch you...'' he said, but he knew he didn't want to be the reason she stayed behind.

~ The Italy trip ~

Right before she was supposed to go to the airport, Bucky showed up at Tony's office where Tony and Y/N were catching up before she had to go, and Tony offered to drop her off at the airport. Right at that moment, Bucky walked in and said ''I can do it!'' quickly and he almost tripped over his own feet, getting a chuckle out of Y/N at the sight. ''I can drop you off at the airport, I'm sure Tony is busy right?'' he said with a pointed look, and suddenly Tony pretended to have way more work than he actually did, so Bucky could drive her. When they arrived at the airport and it was time to say goodbye, Bucky gave her a present, and he said she was allowed to open it once she arrived in Italy. ''Wow, thank you Bucky! I can't wait to find out what it is!'' she said, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him in for a hug, her head resting in the crook of his neck. When they let go they couldn't help but kiss one last time, since it would be the last time for three months they could. It was just the two of them so they quickly deepened the kiss, not caring for the strangers that could see them. After they let go, Y/N waved goodbye and sent him a kiss through the air, and his cheeks got deep red at the sight.

Y/N and Eve decided to meet up at the airport in Venice, since that is where their journey would start. The two of them haven't seen each other in almost a year now, and the reunion was filled with lots of hugs, laughter and even more tears. ''Babe, I'm so happy I get to spend the next three months with you, I missed you so much!'' Eve said, and all Y/N could do was agree. They headed to the hotel they would stay at for the first two weeks, and they plopped down on their beds, just wanting to sleep. The time difference for Eve wasn't a problem, but after more than a decade in the US, Y/N really did have a big problem with the time difference. Before she could even think about anything else, she fell asleep, and slept until the next day.

''Goodmorning babe, you ready for a new day?'' Eve asked, deciding to let Y/N sleep for as long as possible since she needed it in order to get over het jetlag. ''I am! But I just remembered I still have a present I have to unpack. Bucky gave it to me yesterday, and I was so tired I didn't even have time to open it yet.'' she said. ''Bucky? I don't think you've mentioned him before?!'' Eve said with a knowing look, she knew her best friend like the back of her hand, and Y/N decided to tell her later about him, first she wanted to open the present. It was wrapped in beautiful gold wrapping paper, she opened it very carefully. Inside was a journal in the same shade of red as the lipstick she always wore, on the front it said ''Y/N's travel journal - Italy 2023'' in beautiful lettering done in white. She immediately knew this had to be Steve's doing, since he loved doing artsy stuff like that.

''Oh wow, that is incredibly thoughtful of him, I like him already!'' Eve said. ''Is there anything inside?'' she asked, and Y/N opened the journal to find a picture of all the Avengers and Pepper holding her baby bump, with a note on the back saying ''We wish you a lot of fun, and can't wait to hear all your stories when you're back! Lots of love from your Avengers family''. That is when she also noticed something in the front of the journal, Bucky wrote something himself on the first page.

'So, you landed safely, huh? I would love to make sure you're safe, so please shoot me a text when you read this.' with an arrow pointed towards the inside cover where he wrote his number. 'I am incredibly lucky to know you, and I can't wait to tell you that every day for as long as you'll have me when you come back. When you arrive in Pisa in 2 months, make sure to look for some familiar faces who will be very happy to see you. ;) Doll, I hope you will have the best vacation anyone has ever had, and I can't wait to receive more of those special kissed from you. ~ Bucky'

After reading this, she had tears in her eyes and she grabbed her phone right away in order to put his number in it and text him.

Doll ❤️: [ Hey Bucky, it's me, Y/N! I just opened your present and I wanted to thank you, this means the world to me! I can't believe you managed to get everyone into the photo, and I also can't wait to see all of you again. Also, dare I ask about who I will be seeing in Pisa in two months?! 👀 ]

Bucky 🖤: [ Hi doll, I'm glad you got there safe and sound. And no, because I won't tell you 😉 ]

After this, Eve and Y/N decided to go lay by the pool for the day after changing into their bikini's that they got especially for this trip. They took a book, a towel and their sunglasses down too, but they both knew they wouldn't read a single word, especially after Eve found out about Bucky and she wanted to know everything. Y/N's mind wandered when they were laying poolside, and all the thought about was Bucky, about the things she wanted him to do to her when she finally got back.

''Doll, please spread those pretty legs for me, so I can have my breakfast.'' Bucky said with a smirk on his face, looking in your eyes when he sat down on his knees, in between your legs, his hands softly running up her thighs until they reached the place she needed him so badly. Bucky trailed the fingers of his vibranium hand through your folds gathering the wetness that already pooled there, even though he hadn't even touched you yet. ''So fucking wet for me already doll, you're such a good girl for me.'' he said praising her. He slowly pushed two of his fingers inside, and started rubbing her clit with thumb. ''Oh god Bucky yes, right there!'' you exclaimed and you ran your hands through his hair in an effort to pull him to your soaking cunt, so he could lick and suck there until you couldn't walk straight.

''Bucky please, I- I-...'' is all you could say when he picked up the pace with his fingers, pushing them inside up to his knuckles while continuing to rub your clit in circles, your orgasm creeping up on you faster than you would like to admit. ''B-B- Bucky, I need you to.. to.. lick me until I cum! So close!'' she said, and Bucky did as he was asked, knowing what all this stimulation would do. He was here to get all of it, and he hummed a little bit to get you even closer to the edge. All he could hear were loud moans, whines and something that was supposed to be his name, but he is licking and fingering you so hard you can't think straight, only chasing the high he wanted to provide.

He kept going and suddenly your orgasm washed over you, making your legs tremble around Bucky and your eyes roll back together with your head. You feel yourself squirt your juices all over Bucky's fingers, face and the bed, but you don't care, you enjoy every last moment of this orgasm while Bucky coaxes you through it with his fingers. ''Fuck doll, I fucking love it when you squirt all over me, makes me feel so good to know you're my good girl.''

She got ripped out of her thoughts when she felt Eve tapping her arm again, she has been trying to get your attention for a while, not being successful until now. Suddenly Y/N realizes her phone is ringing, and she quickly picks up without looking at the caller ID. ''Hello, this is Y/N?'' she said in Dutch, not realizing that no one except Eve has your American number so you felt stupid already. ''Hmm doll, you can talk to me in Dutch more often if it always sounds like that.'' Bucky said, and Y/N got flushed right away. ''Uh, Bucky hi, I'm sorry I didn't realize it was you calling. Are you okay?'' she asked. ''Yeah I'm fine, just wondering how you were doing, I missed you actually. I'm going on a mission for the next 1.5 months and I can't talk much, so I decided I'd call you now that I still have the time.'' he explained. You talked a little bit about Italy, how it was, the mission, and stuff like that, before he had to go.

The next 2 months flew by like it was nobody's business, and Y/N and Eve were finally on their way to Pisa. Y/N wrote a lot in her journal, talking about all the things she did with Eve, as well as some dreams she had about Bucky. When they arrive in their hotel in Pisa they get settled and Y/N texts Bucky that she arrived at her next destination, and he wishes them a lot of fun, and he hoped that him and all the others being there for a week would be as amazing as he hoped when he planned it. He just couldn't wait to see her face again, and to kiss those soft, cherry red lips again.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 5 months

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Christmas Reruns 2023 Day 11: Home for Christmas

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it and happy holidays if you don’t! One of the things I love about Christmas is watching reruns of all the old classic Christmas movies–Christmas is a big time for nostalgia. A few years ago, I decided to incorporate that tradition into my fandom life and post my CS holiday reruns. So here you go! Enough holiday (mostly) fluff to get you to New Year’s Day. (With a new story posting on Christmas Day.)

Rating: G

Word Count: 2642

Other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

Notes: Today’s story was written during the hiatus between 5a and 5b, so obviously a number of the Underworld events referred to in the story did not come to pass. We’ll just call this a canon divergence. Newly back from the underworld, Emma finds a way to give Killian the best Christmas present he could ever hope to get.

Genre: CS 5b canon divergence

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Emma woke, as she woke every morning any more—with a smile on her lips and a song in her heart. The sun shone brightly into her bedroom window, letting her know it would be time to get up soon, but her bed was warm and cozy and she had no intention of leaving it until she had to. She stretched and turned over, hoping to spend a few more minutes snuggling with her husband before it was time to start the day.

Only her hand landed on empty sheets rather than a furry pirate chest. Emma sat up abruptly, her heart stilling before beginning to race, the panic hitting with no warning.

It had been three months since she, Killian and the rest of her family had returned from the Underworld, and though time had eased the pain of their two-month-long ordeal with the darkness and Killian’s subsequent death, it was still difficult for Emma to let her true love out of her sight; it was still difficult to keep the fear at bay whenever they were apart.

Emma tossed the covers aside, stepped into her furry slippers, and wrapped herself in her warm bathrobe. She tossed open the bedroom door, and hurried into the hall. No sooner had she stepped out of her room then the smell of frying bacon teased her nose, and the sound of her boys talking and laughing met her ears.

She let out the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. They were fine. They were both fine; safe, happy, and here with her.

“Come on, Killian!” Henry cajoled. “It’s Christmas morning! Can’t we just wake her up? She’ll sleep all day if we let her, and I can’t wait for you guys to open my present!”

Emma grinned as she stepped into the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe waiting for her two true loves to notice her.

“You know as well as I that’s a dangerous prospect lad,” Killian said, turning toward the stove and flipping the pancakes with the handy spatula attachment he’d replaced his hook with for the task at hand. “You know full well that waking your mother is akin to bearding the lion in its den.”

Emma cleared her throat, masking her amusement with a fierce scowl. “Excuse me?”

Two pairs of startled eyes met hers, and then Killian reached up to scratch at that much abused spot behind his ear. “Merry Christmas, love! I just…I wanted to let you sleep. I didn’t mean…you see, we understand. But when you don’t get your sleep you are sometimes…not that you aren’t bloody brilliant at all times, but…”

Emma chuckled, sauntered up to him, and placed a quick kiss against his lips. “Merry Christmas, Killian, and I think you’d better stop while you’re ahead.”

She noticed the tips of his ears reddening as she pulled back. “Aye, love. Perhaps you’re right.”

Henry launched himself at her, wrapping her in an exuberant hug. “Merry Christmas, mom!”

“You too, kid. From what I heard, it sounds like someone’s excited to open presents.”

He grinned. “Yeah, maybe a little. But Killian convinced me it would be better to have breakfast first.”

Emma’s stomach growled. “Smart man. So what can I help you guys with?”

Killian stepped to her side, kissed her cheek and handed her a mug of hot cocoa, topped, of course with whipped cream and cinnamon. “Not a thing at all, my love. You do so much for us, for all of the townsfolk. It’s time you allow your men to spoil you.”

“Yeah, mom!” Henry said, turning her toward the living room. “Why don’t you go relax; maybe turn on some Christmas music.”

Her smile widened. “How could I say no to that?”

After turning on the stereo, Emma settled into their plush, comfortable couch, looking up at their magnificent Christmas tree as she sipped at her cocoa.

This was Killian’s first Christmas in the land without magic, and Emma and Henry had been determined to make this a holiday to remember. Her inquisitive husband had jumped into the holiday traditions with both feet, spending long hours searching out books and movies about the season, peppering everyone with questions, setting out to fulfill each and every time-honored ritual.

He and Henry had taken an axe and trekked into the woods on the morning after Thanksgiving, and they’d subsequently returned with the biggest, most magnificent Christmas tree Emma had ever seen. The three of them had spent hours stringing it with lights, hanging ornaments, positioning it just so, ensuring it was an outward expression of their inner joy.

Killian had gone on to hang three stockings on the mantle–meticulously neat and tidy, of course—and sprigs of mistletoe everywhere he could think of. Emma had to admit, she was rather glad she’d told Killian about that particular tradition.

(Henry, not so much. The way he complained about the two of them making out all the time you’d think the kid was traumatized for life. Henry couldn’t fool her, though. She saw the pleased grins he tried to hide behind his eye rolls and groans of adolescent angst. Truth was, all of them were utterly, stupidly happy just to be together and alive and in the land of the living. Not much would really annoy any of them for some time to come.)

The result was that their home looked like something out of one of those cheesy Christmas movies, and Emma couldn’t be happier.

Other than the year with Henry in New York, Emma had never been much for Christmas. Watching all those happy families smiling and laughing, enjoying each other’s company, the love and joy clearly showing on each of their faces—well, it was nothing short of agonizing for a lonely, lost girl.

But she wasn’t a lonely lost girl anymore. She was part of a family—a family she deeply loved, and one that she knew loved her just as much.

She couldn’t ask for anything more perfect or more magical. Christmas was a time for love, a time for family. Emma smiled to herself as she thought about the plans she and her parents had made for today. She had one last plan for making this a Christmas her husband would never forget, one last surprise for the man who’d proven there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her; the man who had given her her happy ending. When her parents had come to her with the idea, she’d cried, overwhelmed at the beauty of the plan, at the joy it would bring Killian.

Yes, Christmas was a time for family, and she was bound and determined to show her pirate that he never needed to spend a lonely holiday—or any other day—again.

~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~

Emma laughed at something Henry said, and Killian smiled to himself, picking up her hand and lacing their fingers as they walked. It was a bitterly cold afternoon, but yesterday’s snowstorm had given way to a brilliantly sunny Christmas day, and he and Emma and the lad had decided to walk the few blocks to her parents’ abode for Christmas dinner.

It did his heart good to see his wife so happy. The darkness and its consequences had weighed heavily on both of them, and for weeks after their return, Emma had woken nearly every night with the nightmares. The haunted look had finally begun to leave her face; the fear to leave her eyes. Killian knew her excitement over this Christmas holiday was a large factor, and for that alone, he would adore this holiday to the end of his days.

Killian sighed softly to himself, careful not to let his small family hear the wistful sound. He was happy; truly he was. Having Emma as his wife, Henry as his son…it was more than he could have ever dreamed. Not for anything in all the realms would he give up this life he was privileged to lead.

This holiday, this Christmas, it put such emphasis on love, on family joining together. He loved Emma and Henry with all his heart; he was profoundly humbled and grateful for the way Emma’s parents had welcomed him with open arms into their family. (Even now, some three months later, his eyes still welled remembering the moment he realized not only Emma and her lad, but her parents, Regina and Locksley had all travelled to the Underworld for him, because they cared about him, because they couldn’t stand the thought of him being gone from their lives.)

Even so, there was a bit of bitterness mixed in with the sweet. The truth was, Killian missed his family—his beloved brother and the father he’d been privileged to reconcile with in the Underworld. It had been a beautiful time among the horror and ashes, and Killian would never be able to fully express his gratitude to Emma for agreeing to wed him there, in the underworld with Liam as officiant and his papa as witness.

But all things must come to an end. When he and Emma succeeded in breaking Hades’ stranglehold over the Underworld, his father and brother had finally been ushered to their eternal reward in the land of paradise. Killian had willingly returned to the land of the living with his new wife at his side, secure in the knowledge that the two men he loved more than anyone in any realm (save for the woman beside him) were finally happy and at peace.

Henry ran ahead up the steps and knocked on the Charmings’ door, his gift for Grandma and Gramps held proudly in his free hand. A moment later, the lady Snow opened the door and soon enveloped each of them, in turn, in a warm, motherly hug.

“So glad you guys got here!” she said, ushering them inside. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

Killian looked around at the assembled group, the Charmings, the young prince Neal, Regina and Robin with their children–all smiled happily, talking and laughing, welcoming him with joy. It was enough. It was far more than enough; far more than he’d ever thought to have. Far more than enough to push the tiny ache of loss to the far corner of his mind.

“Smells good in here!” Henry said, peering into the oven. “Did you make your famous lasagna, mom?”

Regina ruffled Henry’s hair. “That I did. And my apple turnovers—and don’t worry, Miss Swan…er…Mrs. Jones, this batch is completely free of sleeping curse—for dessert.”

“Awesome!” Henry said. “Can we eat?”

“In just a minute kid,” Emma said. “We just have to wait until a couple more people get here.”

Killian looked around in surprise. It appeared the family was all assembled. “Who else are we missing, love?”

Emma shared a look with her parents, and Killian noticed the tears in her eyes, the secret smile on her face.

Charming stepped forward, holding out a small, non-descript canteen, which Killian automatically took. “Hook…Killian,” he began, “before Merida took the portal back to her land, she gave us a gift as a token of her appreciation. That canteen you’re holding.”

“That was…thoughtful,” Killian said, staring in bemusement at the object in question.

“Yes, it was. It really was,” Snow said, stepping forward in her turn, “but it’s not the canteen, but the ale that’s in it that’s the real gift.”

“Killian,” Emma said, smiling up at him. “It’s not just any ale. It’s a special ale Merida got from a witch in her land. The person who pours it on the ground can bring back loved ones who have passed on—temporarily at least.”

Killian’s eyes widened, and he shot startled looks at all of them. “You mean…you mean, I could bring…?”

“Yeah,” Charming said. “We discussed it, and we all agreed. That last cup of ale should go to you. Emma wanted to make your first Christmas special; she thought you might like to invite your own family to our feast.”

Killian’s vision blurred as he looked down at his wife. “You’d do this for me, love?”

She reached up and cupped his face, bringing him down for a quick kiss. “I’d do anything for you, Killian. I thought you’d know that by now. I know how much you miss them, and, well, I just wanted to make you happy.”

Killian smiled shakily, returning her kiss, brushing away a tear from her cheek. “You do make me happy, love. Every day you make me happy. I wouldn’t trade our life together for anything.”

“I know,” she said with a smile, “but it doesn’t mean you don’t miss those you’ve lost. I get that. I really do. So, when I found out there was a way to bring them back for the afternoon, I hopped right on that. Besides, I think it would be amazing to have the whole family together for Christmas.

“I love you,” he said, swooping in for another kiss.

“And I love you.”

“All of this love is great,” Regina drawled, “but you think we could get on with it? My lasagna just came out of the oven, and if it gets cold because of your yearning looks and doe eyes, I might start throwing fireballs.”

Killian grinned. “I wouldn’t dare risk such a thing, your majesty.”

Taking a deep breath, he pulled the stopper from the canteen and poured its contents on the floor of the Charming’s loft. Before it hit the ground, it transformed into a fine, golden mist, and when it cleared Liam and Brennan Jones stood before him, brilliant grins draping their handsome faces.

“It looks like you’ve done quite well for yourself, little brother,” Liam said, stepping forward.

“I think you mean ‘younger’ brother,” Killian said, voice suspiciously gravelly, before launching himself into his brother’s arms.

~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~

Several hours later, Emma lay in bed with her head cushioned on her true love’s chest. She reached up and absently fiddled with the charms on his necklace as she listened to the winter wind howl outside.

Killian leaned down and captured her lips in a tender kiss that went on and on. When it finally came to an end, she rested her forehead against his.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that about?” She asked, smiling at him.

“I love you so bloody much, Emma, sometimes I cannot contain myself.”

She chuckled, settling back in against his chest and planting a quick kiss against the space above his heart. “I love you too. So how was your first Christmas? Did it live up to all the hype?”

Killian was silent for a moment, absently running his fingers through her hair. “It was everything I could have imagined and far more, love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You will never know what those two hours with my brother and my father meant to me.”

“I think I can guess,” she said. “We’re kindred spirits, remember? The lost boy and the lost girl who finally found each other.”

“Not lost anymore, love,” he said, and she felt the deep rumble of his voice as much as she heard it. “Though we each possess but half a heart now, mine has never felt so whole or complete. Liam may have spoken of all the wonders he’s found in paradise, but I’d wager no wonder could compare to having you here in my arms on this Christmas night.

NEXT CHAPTER->

#christmas reruns 2023 #cs fanfiction #captain swan christmas ff #my fanfiction #home for christmas

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starryeyedjanai · 2 months

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Hi!!! 2, 5, and 49 for the questions thingy??? 🤲✨

hiii! thanks for the ask💕💕💕

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

the first 5 are: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting (23), Alternate Universe - No Upside Down (16), Blow Jobs (14), Anal Sex (13), and Established Relationship (11) it's actually kind of hilarious that the sex act i tag the most is blow jobs considering in the past i have been wringing my hair out trying to write a bj scene

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

i can't really think of a specific question i'd want to be asked, so here are some fun facts about some of my fics: All things end and all things change. is the first fic i've written fully following an outline i made bad boys do it better started out as a different idea, but when i downloaded tinder to do research, i found a guy with a profile so great i had to change my fic idea my stomarol 5+1 that i'm currently posting had been like 90% done since the summer, but I could not figure out how to write the threesome scene until like two days ago catch the embers on my tongue is one of my favorite fics because it turned out almost exactly as i first imagined it

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

i have 7 fics in my "currently working on" folder in scrivener, which is less than it was last week since i finished a few things recently! i've got my RBB, my summer exchange fic, camboy alpha steve pt 3, my oc/steve fic chapter 2, a secret gift that i am soooo close to finishing, a microfic, and chapter 2 of the chronance vampire fic

here's a snippet from my summer exchange fic:

He wakes up with Eddie pressed against his back, his arm wrapped around his waist. He doesn't want to get up. He wants to stay here, wrapped up in this warmth, feeling relaxed and safe for the first time in a long while. But the alarm on the side table goes off a few minutes after he wakes up and Eddie groans. Steve can feel the moment he realizes how close they’re pressed together. He feels how Eddie freezes a little before slapping a hand out to turn the alarm off and then he detangles himself from Steve gently, like he’s hoping Steve is still somehow asleep. When Eddie's out of the bed, Steve rolls on his back and Eddie doesn't meet his eyes as he makes his way to the bathroom.

ask me things!

#asks #pearynice #writing tag

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anerdinallherglory · 2 years

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Approaching Sun (32)

Author’s Note: Dear readers, I am terribly sorry for how delayed this chapter has been. If you follow me on social media or have read my other Tumblr posts, I have explained my situation briefly, but will explain again here. My baby was born with Laryngomalacia and my life has become a crazy rollercoaster ride of doctor’s visits and sleepless nights. I couldn’t return to my job because of his health issue and had to give up the only job I’ve ever wanted. The last two years of my life has been dedicated to getting my Masters for this job, and just like that, it’s no longer mine. This has been a hard season for me, but I am thankful for my sweet baby and the time I get to be with him. In short, I will be a stay at home Mom until his health issue has resolved, so I am hoping to get an opportunity to write more. However, he is a pretty high-maintenance baby who only sleeps for 10 minutes at a time, so finding the extra time has been difficult. This chapter took an entire month worth of naps, even though it is shorter than my other chapters (sorry, but I have to submit as much as I can get done, and I’m sure you all want something instead of waiting longer). In addition, I am also hoping to use some of this time writing my own book, BTHG, which I hope to publish one day. Again, I want to thank you all so much for your dedication to this story and for continuing to support it through all seasons of these last several years. Let me know your thoughts about this chapter! Stay happy, stay healthy readers. Until next time.

Pairing: SasuSaku

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31

Chapter 32: An Approaching Sun

In the moment that Sakura had asked him directly in the desert: “Is it enough for you?” Sasuke had known his answer in his heart. And when she turned away from him in the presence of Kankuro after their return hours earlier, the sight of her angry back made Sasuke realize it was the first time that he had ever seen it. Sasuke had practically begged for that confession, pleading for her to tell him how they could be together so he could justify the choice he had already made some time ago, justify choosing this despite all his many worries. Those words sung to his heart and caressed his concerns lovingly. He still gave her an out, asking “Is all of that true?” and when she said “yes,” it was Sasuke’s final unraveling. Th be at “yes” was the final reassurance that his stubbornness needed before he took hold of her chin.

Unlike the kiss of his dream in the desert, Sasuke was careful—so careful when placing his mouth on hers. His fingers held her chin firmly while he took time to unite their mouths. As he did so, he braced himself despite his nerves and deepened the kiss. Sakura responded carefully as well, and Sasuke lifted his hand to touch her cheek in reassurance. To say, I want this. I’ve wanted this. But his fingers brushed wetness and Sasuke instantly broke away, startled at the tears he found running down Sakura’s face.

He searched her eyes with worry, immediately apologizing. “Sorry—”

“No,” she smiled, grabbing hold of his receding face with her fingertips, and whispering, “—just happy.” Sasuke wanted to sigh in relief because those tears had always been a sign that he had hurt her, but this time she was happy. She brought his mouth back to hers, not wanting it to be over, and Sasuke let her lead for just a moment. He forced himself to pull back despite the fire rising in his stomach.

“Maybe we should discuss—” he began, anxiety creeping into his heart about what she was thinking, but Sakura’s brightly lit face, that growing smile that spread to her eyes, stopped him.

The laugh that came from Sakura sounded so sweet that Sasuke couldn’t help but blushing. “You want to talk?” And she was right, Sasuke was a terrible talker. But when it came to this choice, he wanted to make sure they were on the same page—would be on the same page always. Sasuke and Sakura both knew Sakura would be making a lot of sacrifices by accepting this relationship between them. The least he could do was attempt to communicate his concerns, clarify their steps, ask questions and more. He couldn’t afford to be reckless, not with her.

“Sasuke,” Sakura whispered, leaning forward into him. He stiffened instinctually at her nearness but softened when her arms wound softly around his neck in a tearful hug. He accepted the embrace. “Thank you,” she whispered again, “for giving us a chance. I promise I’ll do everything to make you happy.”

He buried his face into her shoulder, his heart simultaneously full and broken by those familiar words. And for a moment, Sasuke forgot all his previous reasons and wondered why he had waited all of this time. If he had only held her sooner. “Thank you,” he repeated, as she pulled back to look at him “for everything.”

Sasuke decided not to waste any more time or words. They would find time to talk about this later. And for a second time, they came together hesitantly, each finding one another’s lips with their own in the growing darkness of a moonless night. Sasuke didn’t retreat again when she whispered his name against his own mouth. Just as much as he wanted to convince Sakura that he meant this, he also wanted to convince himself that this wasn’t a reckless mistake he was making. Brazenly, even foolishly, he wanted to commit to it.

And then a knock came at the door. And they both practically flew away from each other to opposite sides of the room.

A smooth and uncomfortably familiar voice had both ninja blushing. “Just letting the two of you know that me…and Naruto… will arrive first thing in the morning. The Kazekage requested a meeting a couple days ago and we were supposed to be there tonight, but as always, I will most likely be late. Thought it would be proper to give you two a heads up.”

There was an audible poof as the clone of their former sensei evaporated just beyond the door.

Sakura raised her hand to cover her mouth, touch her lips, and gasp. Sasuke blushed and turned his back to her, contorting all emotions back into his controlled mask, embarrassed not only to be caught in such an act, but to have allowed them to be snuck up on by that old pervert of a ninja. And another thing, Kakashi hadn’t even made the slightest effort in disguising his intentional warning. Even Sakura knew it. How did Kakashi guess that such a thing might be occurring between them if Sasuke, himself, hadn’t planned for it to happen until just moments ago?

“How is he late,” Sakura started to grin sheepishly, “if his clone made it here at the designated time?”

Sasuke quickly glanced around at their location, noting the clothes on the floor, the shared room, themselvesacting appropriately guilty. Sasuke didn’t state the obvious: The Sixth Hokage was stalling for them so they could do some rearranging. To keep Naruto in the dark for now.

Sasuke walked quickly to the door, opened it, and scanned down the deserted hallway. There was nobody there. The Uchiha contemplated his next move. Should he leave? Go into Kaguya’s dimensions and wait until tomorrow? Perhaps he should meet the Hokage and Naruto halfway, that way he and Sakura weren’t seen together. Or should he toss all concern to the wind and just tell Naruto the truth? His former teammate had as much said they should be together, right? He had wished Sasuke that happiness verbally several weeks ago. Then why was this such a big deal?

Two soft hands rested on the top of Sasuke’s shoulders. “You’re overthinking this, aren’t you?” Sakura asked, leading Sasuke back away from the door and towards his bed. “We are what we have always been, Sasuke. Friends on a mission together.”

Sasuke scoffed at her lack of worry about Naruto—and through Naruto—the whole Leaf Village finding out about this.

He sat as she pressed down the front of his shoulders, gesturing for him to relax. “You’re not going anywhere tonight, so there’s no use in worrying. Focus on resting and regaining your strength.”

“Sakura—”

“Rest,” she shook her head. “Doctor’s orders.”

She retreated to her own sleeping spot without another word, settling down to rest. But Sasuke was certain she spent the rest of her night thinking about them, about the kissing and confessions, just as he did.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sakura had indeed spent the majority of the night in typical giddy fashion, replaying every second that she had only ever held in her desperate dreams. It had finally happened: them. Sasuke had chosen them. Sakura wasn’t foolish enough to allow her fantasies to run away with the images of a home that they shared, a family that they raised, the friends that surrounded them as they grew old together. Sakura knew exactly what would come as a result of their choice: a lonely and longing road. And Sakura was okay with that road because it was Sasuke and the world needed him. With her back to the Uchiha across the room, she touched her lips once more and felt the smile beneath her fingers. Eventually, she focused her chakra on her heart rate and induced her own slumber.

A few hours before sunrise, Sakura’s internal clock awakened her. She was far too conditioned by the relentless routine of the hospital back in Konoha to trick her body into sleeping longer, even after it still bore the extra lethargy of yesterday’s events. Her left hand was still stiff and sore from the damage to her tissue, and she instinctively channeled her chakra to it, keeping a consistent stream traveling to the limb until it healed completely. Sakura was relieved that she had this healing ability because the type of destruction done to her skin would be irreversible for others. As she readied herself, wrapping the hand delicately in thick bandage, she snuck a shy glimpse over in the sleeping Uchiha’s direction.

Sasuke slept soundly, a possibility that she thought would not likely happen due to his constant tossing and turning of wakefulness. At least one of them was now getting some decent sleep. It was still too early to wake him, but Sakura had been reprimanded more than once now for taking advantage of his sleep to pursue other matters. Retrieving a small blank scroll from one of the many shelves in the room, Sakura wrote the sign for “hospital” on the inner flap. She placed it visibly on her bed before quietly slipping from the room. He needed rest, and she wasn’t going to wake him.

When she arrived at the hospital, all of her overnight patients were still fast asleep. A blurry eyed medic greeted her warmly, expressing thankfulness for Sakura’s safety as well as her shock about Hisa and Mako. Sakura exchanged pleasantries, not too keen to talk about the topic of either of those two traitors. Her mind wandered to someone else, a child she desperately wanted to see.

When Sakura reached Isao’s mental health ward, she gently peeked through the crack. To her surprise, Isao was wide awake, sitting cross-legged in the dark of his room. “Miss Haruno?!” he whispered loudly, immediately recognizing her.

“Isao,” Sakura questioned as she stepped through the door, “Did your night terrors keep you from sleeping again? Did you not take your medicine?”

But the child didn’t answer her. Instead, he bolted off the bed and grabbed her around the waist. He cried into her stomach, sobs shaking his injured body. “I thought you might be dead!” he whimpered, “I thought you were gone…like her, like my mom.”

Sakura fell to her knees and embraced the child carefully, cursing herself for not checking in on him sooner despite Kankuro’s assurances. With her trained medical eye, Sakura immediately noticed the thick bandages that encompassed his ribs. She didn’t realize that Sasuke was the only one she needed to reassure about her position in the world. “You don’t have to worry about me, Isao. Nothing can take me away from this life. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You promise?” he wailed, his voice muffled in the space between Sakura’s shoulder and neck.

“Yes,” she assured, holding him out at arm’s length to assess him more carefully. Besides a wound to his arm and a broken rib or two, it seemed he was going to be all right. “You should be proud of yourself,” Sakura lifted his chin. “You fought by my side. You made it back. You did it with injuries, too. I think you have what it takes to be a great ninja.”

“Really?” he asked, wiping the streams of liquid from his eyes.

“Yes,” she assured him. “And I have great news.”

He smiled up at her in excited anticipation. “What news?”

“My friends are on their way. They’ll escort you back to the Leaf Village.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

After Sakura rewrote the two letters addressed to the Kazekage and Hokage that Mako had confiscated after drugging her, Sakura made her way towards the Kazekage’s central tower. The sun began to rise in the east, mixing with the night to create that beautiful ombre sunrise of orange-blue-pink that belonged to this desert. In her current state of high spirits, Sakura thought that maybe the sun had gotten closer, warming the day and her skin like the sunrays after a long and laborious winter. But she knew it wasn’t really the sun approaching closer and closer every day, but instead, it was a person who had finally reached the season of spring in his life and opened his heart to a summer. Sakura beamed and took a moment to appreciate this monumental sunrise.

“SAKURA-CHAN!”

It was also special because it was the sunrise that would accompany the rest of Team 7’s arrival.

Sakura turned to see the orange and black-clad figure of that heartwarming voice barreling towards her, a grin that occupied half of his face, and a hand that waved back and forth. He ran and ran until he was just before her, leaning forward over his knees. Sakura had developed a habit of hugging her blond friend recently, and she didn’t hesitate to do so again this time, squeezing him so tightly that her blond shinobi’s face turned blue from her super-human strength of a hug.

“I’m—so glad—to see that—you’re safe! Can’t—breathe, Sakura…” Naruto choked out.

Sakura couldn’t help herself. Pinpricks of tears accompanied her smile. She had loved her time traveling with Sasuke, but apart from Sasuke, Naruto was one of the only people in this world that made her feel like home away from home, and she had missed him. And then Kakashi was there, raising his own familiar “yo” hand sign, dragging along an equally disinterested Shikamaru, whose attitude was the complete opposite than it was when Tamari usually led him through the adobe buildings of Suna.

After releasing Naruto, Kakashi was there placing a compassionate hand on her shoulder, a gesture that he used to do regularly when she was a Genin. “I’m proud of you.”

And those words meant the entire world.

“Gaara!” Naruto yelled to the person who had come up behind her. “Long time no see!”

And the warm expression that the Kazekage returned to his friend from another village, revealed to Sakura that Naruto was that person for others, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Kakashi had had a rather amusing night, devising a plan to keep both Shikamaru and Naruto delayed in their journey. All it took was a stall in the form of a competition, which was really simple to do actually. Kakashi had jokingly remarked that out of the three of them, he could outsleep both lazy ninja because he, of course, was the Hokage and the laziest among the three. The rules were simple: During their hour break of rest, Kakashi would summon a clone to supervise them while they rested, monitoring who would naturally wake up first. Naruto yelled “you’re on!” and ran 10 miles at his highest speed to tire himself out enough that he would sleep soundly through the hour. Whether or not Shikamaru was smart enough to see through Kakashi’s plan, he didn’t argue, lounging backward in the sand on the border of the Country of Wind, and crossing an arm lazily over his eyes. If Kakashi had a large sum of money, he would make a bet here and now that Shikamaru would win this.

After his two counterparts were open mouthed, and drool bubbling, Kakashi sent away his clone with a head nod. It disappeared into the setting sun toward the Sand Village. Then Kakashi waited, enjoying a night of stars while reading his beloved Icha Icha Paradise by firelight. This was more like it, he thought to himself, glad to be unburdened by the demanding lifestyle of the Hokage.

When Gaara had requested a meeting via carrier bird, Kakashi’s brow had furrowed at first to learn about Sakura’s situation, along with the enemy she and Sasuke had encountered on their journey. The Kazekage requested that he or someone close to him report to Sunagakure. And then Kakashi had pinched his chin in careful thought as he admired the surmounting pile of paperwork on his desk.

“Want to go on a trip?” he had asked Shikamaru, who nodded off at his position.

“Not really,” Shikamaru responded disinterestedly.

Kakashi baited, “I guess I could take Naruto with me to meet with the Kazekage, instead.”

“The Kazekage?” he probed, “A trip to Sunagakure?”

“Yes,” he stretched, unfurling the scroll he received from Gaara, so that Shikamaru could take a better look from afar. “It seems there are some foreign shinobi causing problems for Sakura.”

“Hmmm…” Shikamaru pondered, coming to read the offered scroll over Kakashi’s shoulder. “It’ll be a drag, but I guess I can go. Don’t want anything to happen to Sakura.”

Mhm, Kakashi thought to himself. Because of Sakura. That wasn’t the kunoichi on Shikamaru’s mind. Kakashi realized suddenly that he was too involved in all the lives of this young generation. How did he always find himself knowing too much?

“Then it’s settled,” Kakashi nodded, snapping the scroll back into it’s rolled-up position.

And then the door of his office was practically kicked through. “I’m still going,” Naruto announced, startling both Kakashi and Shikamaru as he announced his obvious eavesdropping.

“If Sakura is in danger, then I’d better be there.”

And that’s how Kakashi ended up with two knuckleheads on a week vacation to the Sand Village. And then Kakashi’s logical next thought had been of the other two members of Team 7. He had been ecstatic when he learned that Sakura had temporarily accompanied the Uchiha on his life-long mission and that Sasuke had let her. Years of reading Makeout Tactics informed Kakashi of what was to become between the pair, a natural progression of suppressed feelings over the course of many years. Most of the time, there was only one outcome if a male and female shinobi embarked on a long journey together. Sending the clone was a precaution, just in case his suspicions were correct, and their unexpected drop-in might cause a stir.

But Kakashi had never expected to walk in on that…When the clone disappeared and the events that his clone just witnessed dropped into his memory, Kakashi laughed quietly to himself under the stars. He grinned up at those same luminaries for a moment, grateful that both of his ninja pupils had finally navigated their way to one another through the murk of life and had decided to take on that life together. Sasuke had finally, finally let her in, and the knowledge felt like the Uchiha had come home again.

Well done, Sakura. Naruto may have brought him home, but what you have done, is shown him a path to his own special happiness.

The Sixth Hokage had lounged back into the grass, placing his open book over his eyes. He didn’t wake Shikamaru and Naruto, when the hour expired, after all. And to his surprise, when the other two ninja woke him the next morning, Kakashi had won the competition.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sasuke stepped out of his portal just in front of the Kazekage’s building, anticipating the cringey reception he would receive from Kakashi and Naruto once he reached Gaara’s office. He took his time climbing the steps. When he entered the room, the Uchiha quietly leaned back against the far wall to avoid interrupting the conversation that was already occurring.

“Essentially, we are asking for the Leaf’s cooperation with us as we search Tanigakure for the enemy’s whereabouts,” The Kazekage announced from behind his desk. “It is a territory between our villages, and it would be best if both village personnel were present during searches, so it seems more diplomatic to the citizens of Tanigakure.”

The white-haired ninja nodded, Naruto voicing his sensei’s unspoken response. “Of course, The Leaf will work with you Gaara. Isn’t that right Kakashi-sensei?!”

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “Can’t you at least call me ‘Lord Hokage’ when we are on official business?”

Naruto ignored him and announced. “If they’re going after Sakura, then of course we will help. I’ll go find them myself!”

Sasuke shook his head in withdrawn amusement at his teammate’s old habits of needing to be the center of attention in literally every setting. Sasuke’s eyes also found Sakura, who stood at the front of the party, tapping her foot impatiently. She clutched two letters to her chest and Sasuke sensed that she was waiting for an opportunity to interject, little to no concern about this topic. Sasuke smirked. She couldn’t care less about some target on her back by shinobi that belonged to the same group she had already gone head-to-head with.

“If they can’t be found,” a spikey ponytailed ninja remarked, and Sasuke quickly identified his childhood classmate, Shikamaru. “Then wouldn’t it be better to draw them out? They are after Sakura after all. We could just wait for them to strike again.”

Sasuke frowned. He didn’t like that idea. Shikamaru had never been one of Sasuke’s favorites, and the Uchiha liked him considerably less whenever he made suggestions about using his friends as bait. Genius he may be, but Sasuke didn’t have to like him or his ideas.

“I’m sure we can think of something…” Kakashi thought out loud, drawing the eyes of the room in his direction.

“While you’re thinking about it,” Sakura finally spoke, handing both Kakashi and Gaara each one of the letters she held. “I would like to request both of your considerations regarding a matter concerning a young boy here in Sunagakure. He’s been through a lot, and he expresses interest toward starting anew in the Leaf Village.”

Kakashi and Gaara both surveyed the letters in their hands, and Sasuke could see even from where he stood that the reports were extensively detailed. Once again, Sasuke found himself admiring his teammate’s professional persona who seemed like a different person altogether.

“He has expressed the desire to train as a shinobi, but I also want him to continue treatment at the Children’s health clinic in Konoha. I am requesting that he be released by Sunagakure into Konoha’s care until the child decides he’s ready to return.”

“I’ll talk with my council, but I approve as long as the Leaf is willing,” Gaara agreed, glancing over at Kakashi to assess his reaction.

“Of course, that’s okay,” said Kakashi, beaming over at Sakura. “However, some people in the Leaf might harbor negative sentiments toward the youth for various, equally ridiculous reasons. He might be accused of things like being a spy, might be shunned, and more. Can he handle situations like this?”

Sasuke watched Sakura carefully weigh Kakashi’s words. There was a shadow of worry that crossed her face for just a second and then Naruto was elbowing her. “I’ll keep an eye on him!”

“How can you be in Tanigakure looking for Sakura’s aggressors and be in Konoha to…” Shikamaru began but then trailed off as he held everyone’s dumbfounded gazes, “…never mind. I’m not on my game today. I’m obviously overworked.” They all let out a laugh because everyone knew exactly how Naruto would do it with his infamous shadow clone jutsu.

“I’m certain Isao will be okay, but any time you can spare him, would be great, Naruto. Being around you would do him some good,” Sakura said and everyone around the room nodded in agreement. Even Sasuke agreed silently to himself in the back. Being around Naruto had changed each and every person in this room, including himself.

“He can travel back with us when we leave,” Kakashi announced, and Sakura grinned in success.

Gaara quickly changed the topic back to the most pressing matter at hand. “We have Sakura’s assailants in custody. I’d like all your personal evaluations of them as shinobi.”

Everyone in the room nodded, and the Kazekage turned to Kankuro. “Take them to the prison. Sakura, if you don’t mind, I’d like to discuss something with you in more detail.” Sasuke’s ears pricked at the mention of her staying behind. But his rational self reasoned that it was likely just to talk about the events of yesterday.

“Uchiha can further explain who they are while Sakura and I finish up, right Sasuke?” Gaara asked toward Sasuke’s direction without even looking up from the paperwork on his desk, both revealing Sasuke’s presence to his fellow Leaf-shinobi and volunteering him to work. Annoying sand guy.

Of course, they all spun at the mention of his name, locating him against the far wall. He didn’t wave or smile, but just crossed his arms in typical Uchiha fashion.

While Naruto was practically leaping toward him, shouting “There you are Sasuke!” Sasuke couldn’t help but catch Sakura’s eye and the Uchiha stiffened at the obvious embarrassment that flashed across her face for the briefest of seconds before she shyly looked away. And even when his loser of a best friend was wrapping his arm around Sasuke’s neck in an annoying way of showing affection, Sasuke didn’t miss the fact that Kakashi also noticed Sakura’s display, and Sasuke caught his sensei’s knowing expression as the Hokage looked back and forth between the two with one smiling eye. Sasuke sighed. They were screwed.

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