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m0thergoose · 1 month

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SPOILERS FOR TOWL EPISODE FOUR PROCEED WTIH CAUTION FOR MY RUNNING COMMENTARY

OOO Michonne looks pissed I can’t wait

‘I can’t believe you did that’ ‘I can’t believe you said that’ - calling him out straight away good girl

OMG THE SCAR HE’S GONNA LOSE HIS MIND

Michonne/Danai is so beautiful

The way they’re looking at each other I’m going to die

Oh Michonne talk about Judith with him yeeeees

Calling him a creative writer, Michonne I’m gonna die

FOR YOUR CHILDREN OH MY GOD

SHE AINT LETTING HIM REST

HIS NAME IS RICK OH MY GOOOOOD

HES ALMOST 8 omg her heart is breaking because she hasn’t seen him in so long and he’s so big now, and Rick has missed so much

OHHHH MICHONNE ‘I don’t like who you are with them’ - me neither girl

‘They won a long time ago’ - oh Rick he is so broken

‘Do you think we can do anything? Because I do’ 🫶

What did they do to you? - oh Michonne man he’s so broken

‘Do you still love me’ awwww her broken wee voice I’m going to die

Omg they can go!!

Omg he said no

What the actual fuck

He is a broken man and Michonne is going to tear into him for this

He calls you the brave man 🥹

I could listen to Michonne talk about their kids all damn day

‘I found you but I didn’t’ 😢😢😢

Michonne call him out hahahahha, Rick is spewing some absolute bullshit

‘You’re lying’ Yaaas Michonne

GOD I love angry Michonne this is 10/10

And now are they gonna cry I can’t handle it

Aww my baby Michonne 😢😢😢

She’s just hoping he’ll open that door

Please open it

I’m losing my mind

Yaaaas go Rick go

Michonne gonna unleash on these walkers

YAAAAS RICK

fight them wooooo

‘I DONT EVEN HAVE A WEAPON COMMANDO’ - SASSY MICHONNE IM DEAD

‘The only time I feel safe is when I’m with you’🥹🥹🥹

‘I’m not the brave man’ - oh Rick

YEAH HIT HIM MICHONNE

‘I don’t know who you are because the man I knew would never talk to me like that’ - my heart is BROKEN

How are we fixing this jeeeesus

God I love seeing them fighting together

‘I had this’ - ‘I had this’ GOD THEY ARE BOTH SO SASSY

oh noooooo Michonne is trapped

Omg rick fucking help her

Omg is he gonna kiss her

Or is he gonna cry

OMG it’s happening guys jesuuuuus this is all the richonners have ever wanted

He’s losing his mind

THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER I CANT COPE

THIS EPISODE IS DESTROYING ME

‘he looks like me’ - ‘so he’s really good looking’ 😂😂

ROUND TWO!!???!! Disturbed by roomba - love that ricky dicky doo da country boi has no idea what a roomba is lmao

‘One bad harvest - something has to burn to bring it back’ - OMG HE’S TALKING ABOUT HIS DAD??

‘You’re still lying to me. You’re lying to yourself’ - damn right keep calling him out Michonne

OMG THE SCAR

SHES GOING TO TELL HIM WOW

DARYL MENTION

‘SHE STOLE JUDITH’ - his faaaace!!

‘I don’t wanna go into how’ 😢😢😢😢

‘But I kept believing’ 🥹🥹🥹

Omg his hand 😢😢😢

‘You’re still trying, I see it’ he is trying Michonne just keep pushing and he’ll make it

‘I’m sorry for what they did to you’ 😢😢😢😢

Michonne laying down the law - ‘Sit, Rick’ 😂😂

She really couldn’t give a fuck if the building collapses around them she is going to make him talk to her

‘They took a year from me’ ‘I don’t know if she’s okay’ 😢😢😢😢

‘It’s hurting me Rick’ 😢 Rick NEVER wants to hurt her he loves her so much this is heartbreaking

OH MY GOD CARL IM BAWLING

‘I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU’

OH MY GOD IM GONNA DIE HE CANT FACE LOSING HER ALL OVER AGAIN

THE CARL PHONE 😢😢😢😢😢😢

‘I found you Rick’ 🫶

I love them so much Michonne honestly is the strongest woman alive

Aww he’s in a jumper not his uniform 💖💖💖💖

THE ELEVATOR KISS

GO GO GO

THEM SWITCHING SEATS LMAOOOO

‘WE CAN MAKE THIS WHOLE DAMN WORLD OURS IF WE WANT TO’ 💖💖💖💖💖

God this is beautiful

A happy ending no cliffhanger???? Oooooo

OMG ARE WE GETTING PROPOSAL WEDDING NEXT WEEK

#twd #michonne #richonne #rick grimes #the walking dead #danai gurira #andrew lincoln #towl #the ones who live #rick and michonne #twd: the ones who live #episode 4 #towl episode 4 #what we #Danai gurira is a fucking GENIUS #this ep is so powerful away to rewatch several times #towl spoilers #spoilers

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buttercups-song · 5 months

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Extremely late thoughts on episode four:

I’m sorry is this a doctor who episode? I cannot see the intro with what looks like the time vortex and not go doo wee doo!

Why did Sylvie think it was a good idea to throw renslayer into the citadel? Like that’s such an obviously horrible plan! Edit: oh surprise surprise it was a horrible plan

Weren’t mobius and loki just behind victor? Where are they? Also yes it’s probably also a horrible idea to take him to the tva (not that they have many other options considering the loom is about to go into meltdown) and it’s probably going to be the thing that starts the tva in the first place

Edit: he’s spaghetti now

What the fuck is Sylvie doing here? Girl I thought you wanted to have a normal life

Oh so we’re just forgiving the genocidal general? Who murdered untold billions of billions of lives? And we’re giving her her job back? Delightful. Can’t see how this can go wrong (now I don’t trust saraquel whatever her name is in here)

I love how everyone is so excited to see ouroboros

Oh time is a circle! An ouroboros!!!

Oh my god victor likes and admires O.B is that why his memories were never wiped?

Mobius and Loki being married and Sylvie is so tired of their bickering

Also, theoretically, shouldn’t Loki/Sylvie be the best candidate to launch the whatever into the loom? I kind of hate that mcu keeps deliberately forgetting that they’re gods. Wouldn’t their strength and speed be to their advantage? Aren’t they more likely to survive more radiation than other tva employees who are (presumably) human? Also can’t they use magic to move the thingy without even getting out there? We know they have telekinesis!

Oh my god I’m so tired of Sylvie’s bullshit! I liked her last season! “You want to leave it to them?�� Yes? They are the engineers?? Wtf is he supposed to do right now? Is he supposed to invent the solution to a problem you created? When will you take responsibility? At least Loki and mobius and b-15 and everyone else are trying to do something while you were chilling at a mcdonalds!!! You started this by killing he who remains without a second thought about the consequences and now you’re accusing mobius that he doesn’t care what happens to the timelines? Mobius who’s been working to save everything?

I’m not going to feel bad for the woman who killed literally untold numbers of people but jfc that was horrific

X-5 after seeing your colleagues turned into mush you’re still going to follow ravonna?

That wasn’t very surprising but still! Good job honey! You saved yourself!

I love that Loki bickered with mobius about which one of them would put on the suit but in the end he volunteered without a second of hesitation

Oh my god

Oh my god he turned into spaghetti

I feel so bad for victor now??? I was waiting for him to turn evil but he was just nice? And brave?? And he died???

#loki #loki season 2 #loki spoilers

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nightflower-stuff · 1 year

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I'll draw my OCs on doodles arts of my new art when I adjust the shades. You can draw any of My OCs if you wanted or you have free time. 😁💗

I hope you guys like them 💕

• Multifandom Artist:🎨🖌️

• IRL name: Raphaella Dana R. Campo 👩‍🎨 (Persona/Sona Me)

• OC name:

- Nightflower (Original AU)

- Nayoko (Opposite AU)

• Pronouns: She/Her/They

• Sexuality:

- Straight (Before/Then + Past)

- Bisexual (After/Now + Present & Future💗💜💙)

• Age: 17 (2024, I have a reveal)

• Birthday: February 22 (My real BDAY 🎂)

• Zodiac sign: Pisces ♓

• Nationality: Philippines 🇵🇭

• MBTI: INFP

- Autism 🏳️‍🌈

My Introduction must be on Wattpad account 😁💗

Other Stuffs:

• OCs (Many):

• Shigeko 🖤 (My 1st OC, Nakama FC, GF of Carolina, SS/BNHA Fandom)

• Carolina 💜 (My 2nd OC, Barka FC, GF of Shigeko, SS Fandom)

• Steve ❣️ (My 3rd OC, Supa Strikas, GF of Miko Chen, SS Fandom)

• Pearl 🦪 (My 4th OC, Invincible United, BF of Dingaan, SS Fandom)

• Yua 🌸 (My 5th OC, Member of Hyuga Clan, GF of Sumira, Naruto/LMK Fandom)

• Zoe/Zuo Yī ☯️ (My 6th OC, Cousin of Six eared Macaque, LMK Fandom)

• Méiguī/Rose 🌹 (My 7th OC, Sa Ming United FC, Secret sister of Sa Ma Wee, GF of Oscar, SS Fandom)

• Other OCs 🏳️‍🌈 [Next Generations, Families, friends, rivals, etc...) (Different Fandoms in Social Medias/Apps + Link in Bio description at my post 🖇️)

• Fandoms:

- Supa Strikas

- Lego Monkie Kid

- Disney Tarzan

-The Dragon Prince

- Transformers (Prime, Cyberverse, RID, Etc)

- Scooby Doo

- Drawn Together

- Video Games

- Etc.... Any movies/series that I want or not 👀✌️💖💕. I'm the Multifandom Artist.

• Rules: (What if I'll make more OCs of mine):

• You choose any of My OCs rather 1, 2 or more for you will draw/make him/her/them in your art style with any apps or you can draw/make yourself/your OC/s/any fandom characters for meeting my OCs as rivals, collaboration etc... with any social medias. Don't forget to tagged me your posts with/out hashtags so that I can see them. It's up to you in your art styles or Gacha Styles ^w^💖

• Also, The ships are LGBTQ & Straight (OC X OC, OC X Canon, Canon X OC, Crossover couples). It's on all social medias. If you like them anything 😇💕💗

• If I'll make OCs but they are too many who are supporting or main. You don't see OCs of mine, you can go on Instagram 😊. Also crossover & introduction. You can draw any of them if you want ☺️💕

•Like: (For Followers & Supporters only)💖

- As for you guys. I'm telling the truth about haters about they're disgusting to you. Do not near them, ignore them + Unfollowed, Report & Blocked if they lied to me & you in the DNI rules on their words. Don't get blind & I'm explaination my truth 🙏. As for me, I ship other characters, except the toxic ships (Proshippers & pedo), the haters forced & sexualize other characters for no good 🙏. You're the best artists as supportive & I'm here for you, Stay safe & protect yourself from your enemies 🙏❤️

• Shador (I love them & El_Matagirl's arts are beautiful! Plus I support her for her followers 🥹💗) Be respect & Support her 🙏♥️

• Sharra (Hmm... I kinda like them 😉🤗)

• Supa Strikas ships & Fandom ships, Especially Crossover ships (Yes! 👀✨)

• LGBTQ, Black live matters & nationalities (Making friends, family, rivals, etc...)👋💕

• OCs & Canons + Headcanons (Heterosexual👩‍❤️‍👨 & LGBTQ🌈, It's up to them)

• AUs & Crossover (Anything for rivals) 🥹❤️🌈

• Art Trades, DTIYS, Art Requests/Suggestions, Fanart Gifts (It seems I'm tired & I'll able to continue them) 😭💕

• Art commission (Nope, It's not start open yet. Sincerely I have to concentrate until my job has to start T-T)

•DNI/Dislike: (For Haters only)🚫

- These are the names who are hates the OC X Canon ship/Crossover ships & OCs arts, They are victim me & my followers. They're the cringy, childish, liar & hypocrite to you for what they have done to you.

Don't like me, don't follow me, don't near anybody because you don't like kinda good ships when your near first & keeping spying then don't report, just blocked me while hanging out with alone or my people. ❤️

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• Spying on Instagram, take a screenshot on the posts & while they are posted on Tumblr to be announcing hated, they are both same/different username accounts in another social medias being manipulated (Must be negatively report, blocked & unfollowed) ❌

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• No hate, harassment, racist, keeping themselves as social bullying + cyberbullying & betrayed, manipulation (I don't like their behaviours betrayed everyone for leaving as Supa BRL on Tumblr, those characters can leave them for this ❌. They're becoming cyberbullying & social bullying ❌)

• No more Homophobics & transphobic (Pretending as good LGBTQ, will report & blocked with the account banned) ❌

• Apps Used:

YouTube, Capcut, Tumblr, Instagram, Wattpad, Ibispaint, Gacha app, etc..

Here are my Social Medias/Apps that I used with the links: 💕♥️

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Full introduction on Wattpad 🙈💕. I'll make more books as fanfics

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christmas-shenanigans · 3 months

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Session 7 definitely the last one Sat 13 Jan 2024

I have a scrunchy lunch. Skabb is feeling better. Valeros will throw himself off something if we don’t finish this fight tonight. Halbrecht goes to get some tea. And we’re off!

Would the old baggage like to maybe fuck off? Has she considered surrendering? She considers, and decides to whack Wee Jock with her spoon instead. Then she’ll hit Halbrecht; and then Grabby Cat (Skabb is outraged). Cries of “that rotten bitch!”

Halbrecht is writing a naughty list of his own. It’s just got the one name on it. Grabby Cat wants to grab something on fire and go on a kamikaze mission up her ass.

Christmas Elves do snowballs, Skabb is nearly dead. Oh wait - she ignores cold damage. “I feel healthy.” Another goes for Half-Brick, he is pleased when it misses - the next is a crit, though. 21 damage to him total. “Excellent. I’m not even dead. Ha.”

Valeros. “Hello.” He gets an attack of opportunity, if he has that ability - he does not. The elf escapes him, marks him as prey, and throws a snowball at him. Another throws one at the back of his head for another 9 damage.

“I’m allergic to Christmas after this,” Halbrecht announces. “You’ve ruined it.”

The Faerie does a Heal; Valeros requests that if he is to die, can he at least be done in by the hot faerie. “No promises.” The DM refuses to tell us who she’s healing.

Psychotic goblin is up. “Well I’m a dying psychotic goblin, so…” She looks at her potions. “1d6? That’s wank, innit.” She casts her own Healing spell instead with her wand - using Overcast. She’ll never need it again, so who cares if it breaks? She does a 2-er, for 15 HP back. “Better than a kick in the pants,” Wee Jock observes. Skabb hides for her last action.

Wee Jock the Ever-Living takes his turn. He is going to give Mrs Claus “a bit of a bonk on the head.” DM, laughing: “Only fair, I suppose.” He does 19 total damage including Rage and Cold Iron damage, and goes for an Intimidating Glare. The number is red. “… Um, hero point?” 17 isn’t super good, but maybe she’ll roll low…? Well, a 32 isn’t low, so. No. He swings his Hammer again, but a 13 misses.

Zorya spots an elf glaring at Valeros through the window of the building opposite from her perch on the roof, and takes advantage of the distraction to shoot it - sneak attack as well will kill it! She shoots Mrs Claus and rolls a 20, petitioning the DM. “She’s exhausted now, right? Her AC is lower now, right? Because it’s Christmas?” Generously, and probably in the interest of not going for a session 8 of the Christmas Special, he agrees and takes 4 off her AC. Zorya’s 20 hits. “But she doesn’t accept my lovingly gift-wrapped sneak attack damage.”

Mialee kills the Christmas Faerie! How de doo dis! “Straight through the eye. Don’t worry Valeros, she didn’t know what hit her.”

Valeros, with no more reason to live, trudges outside and halfheartedly hits something. He isn’t even excited when he gets a howdy doodis. Wee Jock tries to cheer him up with talk of hiring a prostitute in the goblin village, but he’s not interested. He crits against the last bauble bomber as well, but doesn’t kill it. He kind of shrugs, and that’s the end of his turn.

Halbrecht can do Battle Healing for two people. He rolls two Medicine checks, one for himself and one for Wee Jock - he rolls 32 both times! Two critical successes, so 4d8+10 each. Halbrecht: “… Holy shit.” 34 for Wee Jock, and 26 for himself. Not too shabby. That’s his first action. Wee Jock: “Back in the game!” (IRL Wee Jock thanks him, “because the real Wee Jock never would”.) Halbrecht takes a swing with his hammer but misses, and raises his shield.

Mrs Claus takes her attacks at Wee Jock, Halbrecht and Grabby Cat again. She has a really bad round - 19 (crit fail), 18, and 12.

The elf at the window marks Mialee as prey and throws two snowballs at her head, and misses both times. “Cheeky!” “There’s a lady behind you,” Wee Jock warns her. “Well she’s going to get an elbow in the face.” Another elf attacks Valeros but misses. And that’s all the elves, because we’ve killed the others.

A bauble bomber throws some red bombs at Wee Jock. He doesn’t even notice. He notices the 20 to hit, though. Another flings some more at Valeros; he’s too busy staring at his feet to see them.

Skabber is fed up of all the mooching around that’s going on, gets stuck in a door and has to request to be moved. “You can’t get out because you can’t reach the door handle.” She wants to slap Valeros as a free action. “Snap out of it!” She yells. She has discovered that she has a Fireball left and flings it - but rolls a crit fail. She was going to try and hit Mrs Claus, uncaring that she will hit her friends. “Who cares? We’re all dying at the end of this!” For her mercenary attitude, she is awarded a Hero Point, which she immediately uses to re-roll her Fireball. Mrs Claus fails her save! Sadly so do Halbrecht, Wee Jock and Grabby Cat - the latter is off the map now. Skabb turns to Valeros. “This is all your fault.”

Wee Jock says, in a shocked voice, “Warm! Warm!” He pats himself out and attacks Mrs Claus for a 20, which now hits thanks to her reduction in AC. She is no longer flanked, however. But! The DM rules that she is still reeling from the Fireball, so her AC will stay at 20 for the rest of the round. He tries for another Intimidation (14), but she's having none of that.

Zorya tries to determine who looks sicklier, the elf or Mrs Claus, but she is distracted by the latter’s wedding ring which she has just spotted gleaming on her finger. She takes all three attacks at her, and two hit. She’s fixated on the ring now, and makes up her mind that it'll be hers by the end of this fight.

Mialee takes an attack at Mrs Claus and nearly kills her, then crits her next hit! Mrs Claus falls, with the tinkle of sleigh bells, and fades to nothing - taking the ring with her. “Nooo!” Zorya cries from the roof.

Mialee sets her sights on an elf for her last action, but misses. She gets a Hero Point for sleighing Mrs Claus. (Arf arf.)

Valeros kills a bauble bomber. He swings his sword in a Zorro-esque manner, carving a “V” into his chest. He shoots at an elf with his short bow, crits, and rolls 19 crit damage. The elf is down to her last hit point. “Grand. Wait, wait! If you were to watch Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, that bit with Christian Slater where he takes out the arrow, runs his thumb across it and shoots it. That’s what Valeros just did.”

Halbrecht inquires as to the health of two of our enemies. One is looking sickly, the other is fresh as a daisy. “Well we’ll see about that then, won’t we.” He casts Searing Light against the injured one - Howdy doodis! “Turns to ash, and dust, his still very surprised face lands on top of the pile of dust.” He raises his shield for his last action. “I think that might be the first time I’ve hit something in this whole adventure,” he says, and is awarded a Hero Point.

The Christmas elf, having just seen Mrs Claus fall, stops throwing snowballs. She takes her bow off her back and takes aim at Halbrecht. Her bow refuses to work so she does snowballs after all. 27 hits for 5 and 4 Cold, and Halbrecht is down to 5hp. (Skabb: “I feel partly responsible.” Halbrecht: “That’s because you are.”)

She throws some snowballs at Zorya but they miss, and another throws some at Mialee. “Miss, miss, miss,” Wee Jock calls - and they all do! The bomber throws all his bombs at Wee Jock - only the green hits. He takes 1 acid and two persistent. More splash damage, for Halbrecht.

We only have two elves and a bauble bomber left! Skabb cheers. She is told there is one on the roof. “Can I scuttle up the chimmer?” Halbrecht, laughing: “Who talks like that?!” It turns out the one on the roof is Zorya, so she doesn’t do it. She wants to bite the elf’s finger, and then “suck the juice out like a straw.” 28 hits - and how de doo dis! “Really slowly, so I can savour the blood.” There is a house with a table full of baked goods behind her. “Are any of them rotten?” she asks, and is disappointed when they are not. She brightens when Wee Jock tells her he still has some squiggler jelly.

Wee Jock: “Advance… Corner… Then hit in the groin with a - ohhhh, that’s a bad miss.” He swings again and gets a howdedoodis! “Bauble your way out of that one, you dead prick.” He still has a go left. Mialee’s window licker friend is still alive, so he advances, ending up right back where he was. “Hiya,” he says to Halbrecht as he passes. “I’m on my way to murder someone.” (He then remembers he can’t move as he's run out of actions, and takes it back.)

Zorya drops off the roof, sneaks up on Mialee’s friend, and stabs her. With no more movement she will stand there and wait to get smacked. “Don’t worry, I’ll kill her before she gets a go,” Mialee tells her. And then crits her next shot!! The elf is still up - but isn’t she flanked, with Zorya there? That counts, the DM says, and lets her do her sneak attack damage for another 3. Mialee shoots again. Another hit, and more sneak attack and cold iron damage! “Dead?” No, sadly for Zorya. Mialee’s last attack misses so she Hero Points it, but still misses.

Valeros moves down the map looking for Skabb to give her... something, I don't hear what. He zings an arrow over Zorya’s head at the elf. 20 hits, but he only does 1 damage.

Halbrecht finds one! “Aaaaaaaand… Divine Lance! Oh.” 14 misses. “That was a signalling lance.” That was his whole turn. “You’re all very welcome.”

The elf escapes Zorya and moves. “Where’s that bitch gone?”

Skabb has a quick squizz out the door to make sure no-one’s there. (Zorya deletes herself and has to be put back.) The DM turns Skabb around because she’s stuck in the door again. She can’t see anyone, so she prances around the room, “making the wettest, soggiest bread with all this jelly” (so that’s what Valeros gave her!). She wants to know if there are bugs she can add in; there are not. “In that case,” she says with glee, “I have a spell slot left. Vomit Swarm!” She pukes up a load of bugs, stamps on them, scrapes them up and spreads them on her toast. “Valeros does a full retch,” he announces. “Have a disgusting Hero Point,” says the DM.

Wee Jock vaults over some barrels, but can’t see any targets. Disappointed, he uses all his movement to get to the Christmas tree fire to warm his toes. He spots the elf, who is cowering in a house. “She’s here!” he yells.

Zorya moves up, spots her, and shoots - pinning her to the wall and killing her, taking out the last opponent. “You have successfully booted in the door of Christmas Land, and murdered all the inhabitants,” the DM tells us, to general cheering. Skabb makes us something disgusting as a treat to celebrate; Valeros and Zorya both lose their lunch at the mere sight of it.

Halbrecht does a big Heal. Valeros: “You are the best goddamn Cleric.” Mialee doesn’t need it as no-one has managed to so much as scratch her.

We’ve got some powder to find. Zorya finds some presents in the northernmost building and immediately forgets the powder. Skabb joins her and starts smashing presents. Wee Jock and Halbrecht actually look for the powders. They find hundreds of notes with names on, each with either a smiley or frowny face next to them. Skabb, Zorya and Mialee don’t care to find their own names; they already know.

Halbrecht, Valeros and Mialee make Perception checks (Skabb finds some whiskey). Halbrecht finds our names - Skabb, Wee Jock, Zorya are all naughty and the rest are nice - except Valeros, who has both a smiley and a frowny face next to his name. (We thought Mialee would be naughty; but if we refer to her character sheet it specifically says: “flaws: none.”)

Mialee and Valeros see that the reindeer stalls are empty but they find a bunch of bottles. We are looking for a powder (Skabb and Valeros are messing around with the sleigh). Skabb and Mialee both spot a bottle of iridescent powder - Mialee snatches it before Skabb can get it, but she tips a bit out into Skabb outstretched paw. Skabb licks it up and starts to float!

(Zorya has been investigating the presents - she finds three that she believes are of considerable value, and squirrels them away before anyone knows she has them.)

To the magic item vote! Only Skabb voted silently, the rest of us forgot to send the DM messages so we have to do it out loud. Wee Jock is torn between Mialee and Valeros, voting for the latter in the end because he stayed most in character. Mialee votes for Zorya, because she got some great kills. Halbrecht votes for Valeros because he needs cheering up. Valeros and Zorya both vote for themselves, because of course they do.

(Skabb picks Zorya up with her new flying ability and flies her around the room.)

We have two tie-breakers! Tied in first are Mialee and Skabb, who both roll a d20 - Skabb rolls a 3, and Mialee a 4. The second tie break is between Zorya and Valeros - Zorya rolls a 14, and Valeros an 18.

Mialee wins overall, with Skabb second, Valeros third and Zorya as a runner up. It was close; we all were within 1 or 2 points of each other, the DM tells us.

We take the powder back to the village and are awarded with the magic items by Tallywhacker (Skabb hides a poo in his office). These will be converted into magic items for our main campaign, and Zorya wins a potion as a runner-up prize. The talk turns a bit scatological after that, but we have saved the day! And maybe done really good things for the gnomes. Yay!

The DM tells us that it is our duty to remind him to Keep It Simple, Stupid, for next year so we don’t end up with another two month Christmas Special. I don’t know… I kinda like it. :)

#christmas special #dnd #pathfinder

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dylanconrique · 4 months

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i think the main argument against hollywood as the cannon backstory for how the gang got scooby, would be how, like, meta the movie is? cause in it, Scooby Doo Where Are You is a show they're acting in. so a pup named scooby doo could work as the origin story for where are you, while hollywood is more of an actor au lol.

not to say i'm opposed to hollywood as the cannon one, i honestly don't have much stake in the matter. plus i think his puppy design there is very cute

okay i know i said i was gonna fight in the tags of that scooby doo post, but really i was only joking sskzdfrtyghjkl.

i was just watching scooby goes hollywood earlier today and was quite literally a sobbing mess during that scene cause i completely forgot about it and it brought back a floodgate of nostalgia since i used to love that movie and that scene especially as a kid. i'm also just really particular about my scooby doo lore cause i've been deeply obsessed with this cartoon pooch since i was a wee toddler. and the animators made him so super duper cute, even cuter than pup named scooby doo imo.

#anon #answered #i'm not exaggerating when i tell you i was BAWLING MY EYES OUT #when velma picked him up like 'aw i think he's wonderful' 🥹 after shaggy said he had too much character i fully lost it oh my god 😭😭😭😭😭

0 notes

brookston · 2 years

Text

Holidays 9.13

Holidays

Bald is Beautiful Day

Be Different Day

Blame Someone Else Day

Day of the Children Heroes (Mexico)

Defender’s Day (everywhere except Maryland)

Defy Superstition Day

Día de los Niños Héroes (Mexico)

Eleven Days of Global Unity, Day 3: Environment

Engineer’s Day (Mauritius)

Kids Take Over the Kitchen Day

National Celiac Awareness Day

National Twilighters Day

National Urban Eden Day

Positive Thinking Day

Programmers' Day (a.k.a. Day of the Programmer) [256th day]

Roald Dahl Day

Scooby Doo Day

Soap Day

Supernatural Day

Uncle Sam Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

Fortune Cookie Day

Gluten Free Beer Day

International Chocolate Day

National Chocolate Day

National Peanut Day

Snack-A-Pickle Day

2nd Tuesday in September

National Ants on a Log Day [2nd Tuesday]

Independence Days

Venda (from South Africa, 1979) [unrecognized]

Feast Days

Aimé (a.k.a. Amatus; Christian; Saint)

Ame (Christian; Saint)

Barry Fell Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Dave the Human (Muppetism)

Epulum Jovis (Old Roman) [Ides of September]

Eulogius of Alexandria (Christian; Saint)

Feast of the Cross (Assyrian Church of the East)

Ides of September (Ancient Rome)

John Chrysostom (Christian; Saint)

Lictisternia (Old Roman festival to Jupiter, Juno & Minerva)

Livia Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Marcellinus of Carthage (Christian; Saint)

Maurilius (a.k.a. Maurille) of Angers (Christian; Saint)

Mosquito Avoidance Day (Pastafarian)

Nectarius of Autun (Christian; Saint)

Otway (Positivist; Saint)

Venerius the Hermit (Christian; Saint)

Wulfthryth (a.k.a. Wilfrida) of Wilton (Christian; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Martes (Unlucky Tuesday; Spanish culture) [Tuesday the 13th] (1 of 2 for 2022)

Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]

Triti (Unlucky Day; Greece) [Tuesday the 13th] (1 of 2 for 2022)

Premieres

Almost Famous (Film; 2000)

Barbershop (Film; 2002)

Benson (TV Series; 1979)

Bones (TV Series; 2005)

Clerks III (Film; 2022)

Come Dancing (UK Musical Show; 2008)

Crime of the Century, by Supertramp (Album; 1974)

The Dreaming, by Kate Bush (Album; 1982)

The Drew Carey Show (TV Series; 1995)

Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Series; 1996)

The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood (Novel; 1985)

Hard Rain, by Bob Dylan (Album; 1976)

In Utero, by Nirvana (Album; 1993)

Law & Order (TV Series; 1990)

The Muppet Show (TV Series; 1976)

Pee-Wee’s Playhouse (TV Series; 1986)

Ready to Die, by The Notorious B.I.G. (Album; 1994)

Scooby-Doo Where Are You (Animated TV Series; 1969)

Solid Gold (TV Series; 1980)

The Spectacular Now (Film; 2013)

Supernatural (TV Series; 2005)

Take Me to Church, by Hozier (Song; 2013)

Thud!, by Terry Pratchet (Novel; 2005) [Discworld #34]

Undone (Animated TV Series; 2019)

Yesterday, by The Beatles (Song; 1965)

Today’s Name Days

Tobias (Austria)

Ivan, Ljubo, Zlatko (Croatia)

Lubor (Czech Republic)

Cyprianus (Denmark)

Ervi, Ervin, Ervo (Estonia)

Orvo (Finland)

Aimé (France)

Johann, Notburga, Tobias (Germany)

Aristeides, Aristeidis, Cornelius, Kornelios (Greece)

Kornél (Hungary)

Crisostomo, Giovanni, Maurilio, Regina (Italy)

Iza, Izabella, Izanda, Izīda (Latvia)

Barmantas, Barvydė, Mangailis (Lithuania)

Stian, Stig (Norway)

Aleksander, Aureliusz, Eugenia, Filip, Lubor, Materna, Morzysław, Szeliga (Poland)

Ctibor (Slovakia)

Amado, Crisóstomo, Juan (Spain)

Ambjörn, Sture (Sweden)

Arlando, Milton, Orlando, Roland, Rolanda, Rolando, Stone, Stoney (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 256 of 2022; 109 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 2 of week 37 of 2022

Celtic Tree Calendar: Muin (Vine) [Day 11 of 28]

Chinese: Month 8 (Guìyuè), Day 18 (Ji-Si)

Chinese Year of the: Tiger (until January 22, 2023)

Hebrew: 17 ʼĔlūl 5782

Islamic: 16 Ṣafar 1444

J Cal: 16 Aki; Oneday [16 of 30]

Julian: 31 August 2022

Moon: 88%: Waning Gibbous

Positivist: 4 Shakespeare (10th Month) [Otway]

Runic Half Month: Ken (Illumination) [Day 4 of 15]

Season: Summer (Day 84 of 90)

Zodiac: Virgo (Day 21 of 31)

#Holidays #calendar

0 notes

brookstonalmanac · 2 years

Text

Holidays 9.13

Holidays

Bald is Beautiful Day

Be Different Day

Blame Someone Else Day

Day of the Children Heroes (Mexico)

Defender’s Day (everywhere except Maryland)

Defy Superstition Day

Día de los Niños Héroes (Mexico)

Eleven Days of Global Unity, Day 3: Environment

Engineer’s Day (Mauritius)

Kids Take Over the Kitchen Day

National Celiac Awareness Day

National Twilighters Day

National Urban Eden Day

Positive Thinking Day

Programmers' Day (a.k.a. Day of the Programmer) [256th day]

Roald Dahl Day

Scooby Doo Day

Soap Day

Supernatural Day

Uncle Sam Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

Fortune Cookie Day

Gluten Free Beer Day

International Chocolate Day

National Chocolate Day

National Peanut Day

Snack-A-Pickle Day

2nd Tuesday in September

National Ants on a Log Day [2nd Tuesday]

Independence Days

Venda (from South Africa, 1979) [unrecognized]

Feast Days

Aimé (a.k.a. Amatus; Christian; Saint)

Ame (Christian; Saint)

Barry Fell Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Dave the Human (Muppetism)

Epulum Jovis (Old Roman) [Ides of September]

Eulogius of Alexandria (Christian; Saint)

Feast of the Cross (Assyrian Church of the East)

Ides of September (Ancient Rome)

John Chrysostom (Christian; Saint)

Lictisternia (Old Roman festival to Jupiter, Juno & Minerva)

Livia Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Marcellinus of Carthage (Christian; Saint)

Maurilius (a.k.a. Maurille) of Angers (Christian; Saint)

Mosquito Avoidance Day (Pastafarian)

Nectarius of Autun (Christian; Saint)

Otway (Positivist; Saint)

Venerius the Hermit (Christian; Saint)

Wulfthryth (a.k.a. Wilfrida) of Wilton (Christian; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Martes (Unlucky Tuesday; Spanish culture) [Tuesday the 13th] (1 of 2 for 2022)

Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]

Triti (Unlucky Day; Greece) [Tuesday the 13th] (1 of 2 for 2022)

Premieres

Almost Famous (Film; 2000)

Barbershop (Film; 2002)

Benson (TV Series; 1979)

Bones (TV Series; 2005)

Clerks III (Film; 2022)

Come Dancing (UK Musical Show; 2008)

Crime of the Century, by Supertramp (Album; 1974)

The Dreaming, by Kate Bush (Album; 1982)

The Drew Carey Show (TV Series; 1995)

Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Series; 1996)

The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood (Novel; 1985)

Hard Rain, by Bob Dylan (Album; 1976)

In Utero, by Nirvana (Album; 1993)

Law & Order (TV Series; 1990)

The Muppet Show (TV Series; 1976)

Pee-Wee’s Playhouse (TV Series; 1986)

Ready to Die, by The Notorious B.I.G. (Album; 1994)

Scooby-Doo Where Are You (Animated TV Series; 1969)

Solid Gold (TV Series; 1980)

The Spectacular Now (Film; 2013)

Supernatural (TV Series; 2005)

Take Me to Church, by Hozier (Song; 2013)

Thud!, by Terry Pratchet (Novel; 2005) [Discworld #34]

Undone (Animated TV Series; 2019)

Yesterday, by The Beatles (Song; 1965)

Today’s Name Days

Tobias (Austria)

Ivan, Ljubo, Zlatko (Croatia)

Lubor (Czech Republic)

Cyprianus (Denmark)

Ervi, Ervin, Ervo (Estonia)

Orvo (Finland)

Aimé (France)

Johann, Notburga, Tobias (Germany)

Aristeides, Aristeidis, Cornelius, Kornelios (Greece)

Kornél (Hungary)

Crisostomo, Giovanni, Maurilio, Regina (Italy)

Iza, Izabella, Izanda, Izīda (Latvia)

Barmantas, Barvydė, Mangailis (Lithuania)

Stian, Stig (Norway)

Aleksander, Aureliusz, Eugenia, Filip, Lubor, Materna, Morzysław, Szeliga (Poland)

Ctibor (Slovakia)

Amado, Crisóstomo, Juan (Spain)

Ambjörn, Sture (Sweden)

Arlando, Milton, Orlando, Roland, Rolanda, Rolando, Stone, Stoney (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 256 of 2022; 109 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 2 of week 37 of 2022

Celtic Tree Calendar: Muin (Vine) [Day 11 of 28]

Chinese: Month 8 (Guìyuè), Day 18 (Ji-Si)

Chinese Year of the: Tiger (until January 22, 2023)

Hebrew: 17 ʼĔlūl 5782

Islamic: 16 Ṣafar 1444

J Cal: 16 Aki; Oneday [16 of 30]

Julian: 31 August 2022

Moon: 88%: Waning Gibbous

Positivist: 4 Shakespeare (10th Month) [Otway]

Runic Half Month: Ken (Illumination) [Day 4 of 15]

Season: Summer (Day 84 of 90)

Zodiac: Virgo (Day 21 of 31)

#Holidays

0 notes

rp-grannies · 3 years

Text

[Sentence Starters] Final Fantasy X

Feel free to add context, change pronouns, names, jobs, and anything else you need to change to make these work for you! Have fun! ^-^

❝ Listen to my story. This...may be our last chance. ❞

❝ This is my story. It'll go the way I want it...or I'll end it here! ❞

❝ This is it. This... is your story. It all begins here. ❞

❝ Every story must have an ending. ❞

❝ I wanted to change the world too, but I changed nothing. That is my story. ❞

❝ I've... learned how to smile... Even when I'm feeling sad. ❞

❝ Err, 'helly doo sad wee' to you, too. ❞

❝ Hey! You okay? ❞

❝ Why do today what you can leave for tomorrow? ❞

❝ Boom! Like happy festival fireworks, ya? ❞

❝ Outside the dream world, life can be harsh--even cruel, but it is life. ❞

❝ ( Name )'s... a bit lacking in the imagination department. ❞

❝ I told her all the things...we could...we could...and all along the whole time, I didn't know anything! ❞

❝ Disappear on us, will ya? Rotten son of a shoopuf! ❞

❝ You, with a woman? You can't even catch a ball! ❞

❝ Those sand-blasted grease monkeys! ❞

❝ No matter how dark the night, morning always comes, and our journey begins anew. ❞

❝ I trust my guardians with my life. But they are also my friends. I will not stand by and watch them be hurt. ❞

❝ Why didn't I just shut my big mouth...? ❞

❝ When you got the ball, you gotta score! ❞

❝ Not the most... graceful win. ❞

❝ Those with power use that power. ❞

❝ Pick spot. Shut up. Wait. ❞

❝ Cry, cry. That's the only thing you're good for! ❞

❝ But there is no salvation for the damned! ❞

❝ Let's go to the sea, before sunrise. The city lights go out, one by one, the stars fade, then the horizon glows, almost like it’s on fire. It's kinda rose-colored, right? First the sea, then it spreads to the sky, then to the whole city. It gets brighter and brighter till everything…glows. It’s really pretty. I know you'd like it. ❞

❝ We were just worried you guys might've gone crazy! ❞

❝ I hate this place. ❞

❝ I won't tell ya to be careful. Do your worst, kiddo! ❞

❝ You can STUFF your taboos! ❞

❝ Life is but a passing dream, but the death that follows is eternal. ❞

❝ Memories are nice, but that's all they are. ❞

❝ I will share your pain. ❞

❝ Oh, sure! Soon! Like 'tomorrow' soon, I bet! ❞

❝ The ferryman asks a high price. ❞

❝ You were always such a stiff. But that's what I like about you. ❞

❝ Sometimes, when I got a lot on my mind, it just helps to go, "AAAAAAAAAAAH!" ❞

❝ I was waiting for you. ❞

❝ Pitiful mortal... Your hope ends here! ❞

❝ AH HA HA HA HA HA HA ❞

❝ Just a feeling, but I think my dad kinda likes you. ❞

❝ A day with you is never dull! ❞

❝ I love you. ❞

❝ Did you...hit your head or something? ❞

❝ You know...for the first time, I'm glad...to have you as my father. ❞

❝ There is no need for fear. I will go with you. ❞

❝ Unpleasant. Very well. I will give you your death. You seem to want it so. ❞

❝ Keep your head down, say "sir" a lot, and you'll do fine. ❞

❝ Hope is comforting. It allows us to accept fate, no matter how tragic it might be. ❞

❝ Touch me with that hand and I'll remove it. ❞

#RP Meme #RP Memes #Sentence Starter #final fantasy x #final fantasy 10

53 notes · View notes

aye-write · 3 years

Text

A fun wee exercise going around the writing discord I admin on! Character inspirations! Which characters inspired/influenced your own characters?

For Ellie Lyons (in the middle), I have Velma from Scooby Doo, Max Caulfield from Life is Strange, Tiana from The Princess and the Frog, and Mai Taniyama from Ghost Hunt!

The moodboard template is free on Canva if anyone would like to try something similar! I’m a bit too shy to make it into a tag game, but I’d love to see what characters inspire yours!

Edit: Someone asked for the name of the Discord. It’s called Writer’s Block, it’s an on-topic, fiction focused server for discussion, workshops, events, check-ins, publishing help, a bimonthly flash fic competition, sharing and critique avenues, and a place for art and inspiration! We use a level system for access to things like off topic and critique to encourage community and safety for those sharing work, but it’s super easy to climb the levels - just talk! I’ll do another post explaining more about the Discord later if folks are interested :)

#writing #writeblr #character inspiration

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captawesomesauce · 3 years

Video

youtube

Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It...

Fun Fact: I used to think this was some sort of childrens song when I was a kid... I’m still not sure it isn’t.....

I mean the lyrics are Great Googly Moogily, and involve doggie wee wee and poo and yellow snow....

lyrics from: https://genius.com/Frank-zappa-nanook-rubs-it-lyrics

-------------

[Verse 1] Well, right about that time, people A fur-trapper, who was strictly from commercial (strictly commercial) Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my igloo (peek-a-boo) And he started into whipping on my favorite baby seal With a lead-filled snowshoe [Refrain] I said With a lead Filled With a lead-filled snowshoe He said, "Peekaboo" With a lead Filled With a lead-filled snowshoe He said, "Peekaboo" [Verse 2] He went right upside the head of my favorite baby seal He went "whap" with a lead-filled snowshoe, and He hit him on the nose and hit him on the fin, and he [Guitar Solo] [Verse 3] That got me just about as evil as an eskimo boy can be So I bent down, and I reached down, and I scooped down and I gathered up a generous mitten-full of the deadly (yellow snow) The deadly yellow snow, from right there where the huskies go! Whereupon I proceeded to take that mittenful of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined to take the place of the mudshark in your mythology, here it goes now, the circular motion: rub It! (Here Fido) (Here Fido) [Verse 4] And then In a fit of anger I pounced And I pounced again Great Googly Moogly! I jumped up and down on the chest of a... I injured the fur trapper Well he was very upset, as you can understand And rightly so, because The deadly yellow snow crystals had Deprived him of his sight And he stood up, and he looked around, and he said [Refrain] "I can't see" "I can't see" "Oh, woe is me" "I can't see" "Well… no no I can't see Nothin'" [Bridge] He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye And the husky wee-wee, I mean the doggie wee-wee, has blinded me And I can't see Temporarily [Verse 5] Well, the fur-trapper stood there With his arms outstretched across the frozen white wasteland Trying to figure out what he's going to do about his deflected eyes And it was at that precise moment that he remembered an ancient Eskimo legend Wherein it is written On whatever it is that they write it on up there That if anything bad ever happens to your eyes As the result of some sort of conflict with anyone named Nanook The only way you can get it fixed up Is to go trudging across the tundra mile after mile Trudging across the tundra right down to the parish of St. Alfonzo

#frank zappa #music #Nanook Rubs It #I'd play this for a kid

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onlydreamofmysoul · 3 years

Note

Omg so my brothers girlfriends sister got a new dog and it’s a wee Dalmatian. It’s honestly so cute. We have this group chat and she was asking us for help with names and we said like pongo and spit. But she wanted a name her son liked. So started saying avenger theme names and stuff from shows she likes. She just put in that her son wants to call the dog….

Madadh

Her son wants to call the dog… dog and she can’t convince him to change his mind.

I don’t know if you pronounce it different or if this is the Ulster Irish way to say dog in Irish. (Ma-doo) for anyone wondering. I don’t know why I find this so funny though

-HA✨

Fucking Ulster Irish

You’re about to hear about one of my pet peeves. The way aural exams were always in the ulster or Leinster dialect but I’m from Munster so it was always so fucking different to the way we speak so we literally had to learn another form just for that part of the exam

Lmao we say madra, which is pronounced basically as it’s spelled - mah-drah

Ohhhhh I can feel 6 years of annoyance about this bubbling up😂😂😂😂

I do absolutely love the name though. 10/10. I would 100% name a dog that

11 notes · View notes

suntzumonkfoo · 3 years

Text

Owe owe owe your loan, gently down the streaming service provided by Pee Wee Hermans specter in a Spectrum truck

Cable provider for

My playhouse isn't made for housewives so my spouse stays outside

Gurgle garbled heard in the basement

No that's just a baseboard

So go away now, okay

In otherwords

No other words occurred

An otherworldly current stirred

God? Is that your spirit I discern?

Oh that's gas

Burns

Oh that gas? Passed. Over to you in the studio, last desperate gasp for breath, reporting from an assholes back shed.

"Sounds like a nasty hacking cough you got, you okay? Reporter never reported his name. But he's gone on. Well here's the weather."

The bell tolls

Or doorbell rings

Peep in the hole

Hole in the beebop

Bippity beeping and Doo wopping and bopping old Betty with a boop and a heavy breath and a steady hand on her friend Betty

She's sweaty. I'm like take off the sweater.

Wet or dry vac

I exhume vermin

Uma Thurman is my human exterminator

I use her or some goon with rheumatoid arthritis

Dark rumors swirl but finally abate and abide in my statement of mind

Mind state is a fine state of the art methane tank or methed brain breakdown or downward spank happy Austin Powered swinger rally

In Asia

For whom?

For gazers. Stars and little whores with TikTok followers.

Your daughter.

For he who smelled your product

Told too much

I gotta run

Am I tmi? Or afk?

Le Guardia? Or JFK

Who harbored the harbor master?

MA 18 rated

Afk

More garbled nonsense

Bond set at mach 6 or some commoners denominator divided by all them haters

Judge needs a new robe. Needs some aerobics or something. Black lives matter to who? Lady Justice? That blindfolded whore is the chief suspect.

Lock this white punk up and fuck this court let's get disorder up in this decorum, says judge Whorefucker

I object to no objective, subject to an inspection of gadgetry and a test run of my erection by detective...

Detecting no detectives

Any septic sluts or horrible whores available?

Alexa is silent

So I keep an eye on Alexa

Erectile section 8 protection and insecticide resistant roach habitat protection are my accepted dwelling space

Cock into rectum

Talkin to me?

Lock and a mention

Poppin a hip

Robbin a hipster

Sobbing a story

Mobbed up and down with any hobbyist who obviously can't find decency

He's with me

Hooded replacement for the usual suspect, this twerp jerked it in the circus tent or circle k or abandoned Kmart and twitched and switched up and lip stuck he got upset cause his K-pop hit got

Popped

I'm okay

#funny #dead poets society #new poets society #poets on tumblr #poetry #eminem #music #animals #roswell new mexico

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duvayknox · 3 years

Quote

DEAR BIG HOMIE

DEAR BIG HOMIE: GOD, mayne. Look heah. Every since U let dem Horsepital peeples MURDER mah DADDY I began 2 wonder bout YOU like U aint even hear mah PRAYERS 2 KEEP Him heah among the LIving.

I C How U are wich is 2 say U aint SHIT god!!!!

All mah LIFE I have heard U say thru Yo PREACHERS and TEACHERS dat Wee shood Pray when we really NEED Sumpen and dat U wood NOT only HEAR butt ANSWER Us.

Butt mebbe its jes MEE cuz U aint hear shit or mebbe U DID butt U ackted like U aint Hear Mee. Ion kno if U was trippin on sumpen mee n Ya Boy LUKE had got 2getha and did when wee whupped dat Nigga FRED ass in da PARK.

Butt Hee brought dat on his self 4 fuckin wit Mah MAMA lil FOOD GARDEN shee been tryna keep goin 4 her TOMATOES/POTATO/CUCUMBERS/SQUASH n whutnot.

And shee tole mee she had been praying too dat U wood keep dem lil bad ass kids of Miss Johnson nem dat live down da Street off her shit. Anyway I did 90 days in LOCK-UP fo dat shit so I had thawt dat was settled.

So I KNO u aint holding dat against Mee?! Lease I ane think so.

Butt ion kno bout U no mo.

Seem like u been on one er since dat day. U ack like wee aint kool no mo.

And up til U fucked round and aint sho up when mah Daddy died u was like THE BIG HOMIE 2 mee. I C how U is.

Jes when a Nigga NEED You'U BAIL.

B4 This nobody cooda tole mee SHIT bout You. Cuz I bleeved in U when nobody else did or wood. Cuz I FUCKED wit U like dat is whut I tole dem Niggaz.

Muthafuckaz thawt I was krazy doe.

Butt I aint give not ONE Fuck bout WHUT nobody THAWT cuz I knew U was REAL widdit.

Now Im da FOO. U done left mee holding da BAG like a STOOPID muthafucka.

I aint never been da type-a-Nigga to be da BAG HOLDER 4 NOBODY. That aint how I gits down.

YET dats ezackly how U set mee up.

Afta all da BRAGGIN I was dooing on U this how U doo mee!! Ya Nigga?!

Now Niggaz astin mee all kinda QUESTIONS now n shit bout YOU n whutnot dat I dont wanna answer. Fo Real.

Ion Blame nobody butt mee cuz I shooda known U wood pull sum shit like this frum dat time I ast U 4-a-Bike way bak when I was a SHAWTY and it never showed up.

So I had 2 STEAL one instead. I shooda KNOWN den U was LAME.

Butt NAH I kept on Thinking and Bleeving in YO shit.

And mostly dat was how wee was raised by mah Mama n Daddy. U dont QUESTION GOD bout whut HEE doo dey said.

Hee always LATE butt RITE ON TIME is da shit er body nem useta say.

So I grew up bleeving dat too. Even tho I neva got dat BIKE.

Then U let dat Big ass country-fed white boy knock mee off mah BIKE I had stolen AND let him take it. Then when I TOOK it bak I got in trubble wit 5-0!!

See how U doo me??!!

They aint bleeve mee butt they bleeved da white boy. Made mee give da shit bak!!!!

I PRAYED n I Prayed bout dat 2 U too.

Butt guess wut?!

U aint give-a-FUCK!!

Butt mah DUMB ass kept rite on fuckin wit U.

Meanwile U was showing mee yo ENTIRE ass doe.

Now mah DADDY Dead n shit.

Cuz despite it all–and even tho Hee KNEW how U was hee STILL kept da FAITH and kept HOPE ALIVE.

The same wit mah MAMA hoo ironickally DIED wile she was on her KNEES Praying to YOU or Yo Son J.C. hoo has also prooved 2 B a AINT SHIT Nigga.

I SWEAR: Im jes really DISAPPOINTED and SICK of BOFF of yall fo real.

I TRUST MONEY mo den either one of yall now.

And the Day a MAN gotta Trust CASH Over GOD is sum sad/sad shit. Butt U got yo name all ova dat shit too doe!!

Yet n still: I tell U wut doe–MONEY has been BETTER to MEE than YOU have.

And I shood not have 2 say dat.

Butt I doo cuz its TRUE.

And whuts even SADDER is MUCH Money I done gave You on SUNDAYS.

And I aint tom bout not jes ONE SUNDAY.

Im tom bout ERRY Sunday I went in mah POCKETS and TITHED major LOOT to Yo ass.

Damn near PAID For Mah SINS on sum CHEERFUL GIVER Shit.

Butt soon as I hit a LICK & a PRAYER and NEED you-U aint NO WHERE 2 B Found!

Mayne U got me FUCKED Up.

Butt U Kno WHUT??!!

Its not jes YOU.

Its ALL you Muthafuckaz dat kall Ya Self Gods.

YOU/ALLAH/JEHOVAH/YAHWEH/MORONI.

Erry Last ONE ov U NEGROES aint shit butt a LAME NAME Full ov GAME hoo always FAT MOUFIN bout SERVING Yall.

Well all yall kan KISS MAH HAPPY NAPPY BLACK ASS 4 never beeing around when a NIGGA really and TRULY Needs Yall the MOST.

Sincerely,

Yo Useta Be Nigga

#duvayknox signifyingnovel blackfolkore toastnovel thedozens joning godfathergod streetfiction ghettorealism blackpulpfiction #Twitter: @duvayknox #email: [email protected]

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feyariel · 3 years

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The Inner Sea Pantheon: Blech

As I've said before, I don't like the Golarion gods. This really means "I don't like the main deities listed in the Core Rulebook and sometimes called the Inner Sea Pantheon (when it omits the rest of said pantheon)." I look at them as direct replacements for the Core 3.5 gods, sometimes by way of the Realms. There are some positives, true, but there're a lot of things I don't like.

Each time I've started this (as is my habit), I've gotten sidetracked by length or wanting to discuss other issues. Since I'm working on this right now as a major part of my current campaign, I figured that I should start by identifying the actual issues I have and moving on.

Abadar

Replaces St. Cuthbert and the lawful segments of Fharlanghn's worship by way of Waukeen

Pros: None.

Cons:

Stupid-ass name; sounds like "Yabba Dabba Doo."

(I did not come up with this; a friend of mine did and it's stuck with me.)

Lawful Neutral is the most boring alignment, but he manages to make it more boring than any other Lawful Neutral deity; King of No Personality.

Sees benefits to both Good and Evil (pg. 64¹), which is beyond illogical; as such, wants to create "perfect" laws irrespective of morality, which does not follow in the least.

Abadar is something of the sort of neutral Dr. King railed about in his Letter from Birmingham Jail, only worse: his incrementalism includes not opposing slavery, just opposing "misusing slaves or beasts of burden [because it] is a waste of resources and detrimental to the profitability of a farm and civilization as a whole" (pg. 65¹).

Described as calculating and given the title "the far-seeing;" crafted the lock and key to Rovagug's cell so that only Asmodeus (not even Abadar himself) can turn it.

His First Vault supposedly contains Platonic Forms, yet he fails in absolutely every regard in understanding (let alone working within) Platonism. (pg. 65¹)

Essentially the replacement for the more lawful side of Fharlanghn's worship.

Literally the God of Capitalism and does not think that people have intrinsic dignity, yet is not Lawful Evil for some reason.

Not only the God of the Encroachment of Civilization on wild spaces (despoiling of nature), but treats it as evangelism in the same way Christians treat general proselytizing. Surely will get defense from people who will say "uwu you can't treat humans and their works as different from nature" when he sees nature as antithetical to his areas of interest.

He's not even a good deconstruction of the problems he represents.

¹ "Abadar." Curse of the Crimson Throne #2 (Pathfinder Adventure Path #8): Seven Days to the Grave, pages 64-71.

Asmodeus

Replaces Hextor by way of Bane; yoinks Wee Jas'

Pros:

Satan, more or less

One of the better written deities in the setting

Cons:

Satan

Like everything diabolic in D&D, fails to recognize that Satan/Lucifer (the rebel angel) is Chaotic Evil

Runs on Hollywood understanding of contract law, which is fine but has no real good counterpart to reflect why people would want to engage in making contracts if they're necessarily evil

You get no real props for replacing Hextor (meh) or Bane (less meh) with a character that's been in D&D since the very beginning, let alone one you didn't change much to fit your setting. Even 4e promoted Asmodeus to godhood.

Calistria

Replaces Olidammara, god of rogues and revels (domains: Chaos, Luck, Trickery; Calistria adds Charm and Knowledge), by way of Sune

Pros:

An Aphrodite Pandemos (y'know, goddess of sex), which is usually absent from D&D.

Makes up for the frequent absence of gods of love by being one of several

Name alludes to Calliste/Callisto ("fairest") and in turn Eris' golden apple

Vengeance as a Chaotic Neutral portfolio element works

The interplay of the deities with arthropods for symbols is interesting and works given most of their associations (Calistria and Desna: elves; Calistria and Urgathoa: hedonism; Calistria, Glaunder, and Rovagug: portfolio elements that deal with anger and/or harm [destruction, wrath, infection, revenge]; Achaechek, Calistria, and Norgorber: Trickery domain deities who are definitely about using underhanded means of combat; Brigh and Calistria: goddesses embodying an internal drive of some sort [invention/creation, revenge, lust])

Cons:

Ends up being the replacement for Olidammara (god of revelry and rogues; Chaos, Luck, Trickery), which is a little too spot-on. (If you were going to make any of the Core 3.5 deities love gods, it'd either be Olidammara [revelry] or Wee Jas [vanity]. Dragon opted for the latter.)

Seriously, she's a goddess of wasps.

Treated as the most elven goddess when that should be Desna

Cayden Cailean

Replaces a combined Kord and Olidammara; the rest of Kord is moved to Kurgess (lesser deity)

Pros: I guess he's relatable?

Cons:

He's just a dudebro. His inclusion is either a joke that isn't terribly funny (if it's funny, it's only so for a short while) or as someone's stupid fantasy.

"Cayden" is one of those dumb names meant to sound like "Aiden" which were all popular in the '90s.

"Cailean" sounds like it's some sort of Gaelic surname, solidifying the stereotype of drunken Irish/Scots. (It's actually a given name.)

Literally every god who isn't ascended is accidental.

Essentially Olidammara mixed with Kord but with the interesting bits taken out

Generic Adventurer Deity

Desna

Replaces Fharlanghn by way of Selûne and Corellon Larethian with Sehanine Moonbow

Pros:

Title: "Song of the Spheres;" nice allusion

Overall functions as Selûne/Sehanine Moonbow

Is also Tyche (the Greek version, not the Faerûnian one)/Tymora/Lady Luck, which works as a goddess of stars

Butterflies don't get enough attention in D&D, I don't think.

Cons:

Another stupid name; sounds like "Destiny" or "Desiree"

The combination of the name and symbol make me think "Goddess of the Lower Back Tattoo"

Not as interesting as either Selûne (in mythos) or Sehanine (in portfolio)

Elfiest elf goddess in the setting, yet is noted more as a Varisian goddess than an elvish one. (Still worshiped extensively by elves; treated as lesser compared to Calistria.)

Despite all the fairy motifs, can't keep fairies and eladrin/azatas interrelated; ends up duplicating Fey with Azatas

Is effectively Selûne replacing Fharlanghn, then also replacing Corellon (or at least tearing apart his portfolio). While Fharlanghn (Far Long One) was fairly boring compared to his inspiration (Hermes), Corellon was at least cool and was the only nonbinary god in the pantheon.

Erastil

Replaces Ehlonna (because of Desna) and Yondalla

Pros:

Has one of the better names in the pantheon; not great, but not awful

Somehow functions anthropologically

Cons:

Why is Cernunnos lawful?

Why are there two Cernunnoi?

Why is the one not named "Cernunnos" a major god but the other isn't?

Why do we have a God of Hicks? Seriously, this entry reads like people whom I live around.

Damns suicides. Because he's Jaezus.

Gorum

Replaces all Chaotic War gods (Corellon Larethian, Erythnul, Gruumsh, and Kord) by way of Tempus

Pros:

Unusual in being an egregore; makes egregore theory seem really cool (even if it's not)

Not a human with superpowers, but the emotions of war coalesced into animate armor.

Cons:

War is not Chaotic Neutral, which was always the problem with Tempus

One of the worst names in the pantheon; combines "gore" with "ho-hum"

Gozreh

Replaces Obad-Hai

Pros:

Approaches identity in an unusual way; is effectively ambigender

Cons:

Requisite True Neutral deity of all (or at least most) of nature without being the personification of the planet/all of life itself

Effectively Zeus/[insert Indo-European sky god here] and a sea goddess; two gods in one isn't as queer as it seems

Having a Green Man figure was more interesting

Kinda stupid name; not as stupid as some, but still not good

Iomedae

Replaces Heironeous by way of Mayaheine (and Siamorphe)

Pros:

This is more or less what I would have done myself to address the sausage fest issue of the core pantheon, though I would have ended up making Mayaheine into Athena

I'm not kidding, this is literally Mayaheine recontextualized

Deals with Divine Right Monarchy, which is an issue few settings address despite having such governments

Name's not stupid!

Cons:

Artwork is kinda bland, TBH.

Maybe a little too Jeanne d'Archetype?

Irori

Replaces Zuoken (added in the Expanded Psionics Handbook)

Pros:

Monks have a deity right from the start, investing them into the setting

Is not incidental to D&D monasticism, either: his portfolio is literally what being a D&D Monk is all about

Name's good. ("Zuoken" is cooler, but "Irori" isn't bad at all.)

Cons:

That's not how Buddhism works

No seriously, it's fantasy Buddhism, which is kinda shitty

Lamashtu

Replaces remnants of Erythnul (god of savage humanoids) with a Mesopotamian demon; kinda replaces Tiamat, but doesn't because Tiamat is also in the setting anyway

Pros:

Hey, we have a Mother of Monsters that isn't Tiamat, even though she's Mesopotamian!

Cons:

For some reason not that much like the real-world demon; instead of being a cause of stillbirths, child abduction, and such, she's just pregnant and birthing all the time.

If her form were a little more draconic, she'd be identical to the fursona one of my former roommates had, which is full of problems I do not want to begin elaborating upon in this post. Goddess of Nightmares indeed!

Nethys

Replaces Boccob

Pros:

Name isn't stupid

Boccob was boring as presented in the core rules, whereas this one has some personality

At last, a deity with multiple facets!

Cons:

No doubt originated as someone briefly mistaking Olidammara's holy symbol for Boccob's, then going "hey wait..."

Boccob's Greyhawk mythology (which echoes Odin's) is more interesting, even if the main 3.5 books fail to address it.

Norgorber

Replaces Vecna (as god of secrets) and Nerull (as god of murder) by way of Mask, Cyric, and Bhaal. Mainly uses Mask iconography.

Pros:

Features prominently in Rise of the Runelords?

Makes sense as someone passing the Test of the Starstone, so is effectively Vecna (and/or Mask)

Cons:

Without a doubt the worst name in a pantheon full of terrible names

Literally just the god of all things criminal (except maybe rape), which is treated as Neutral rather than Chaotic (but that's a critique of it being crimes)

By combining Vecna (secrets), Mask (thievery), and Bhaal/Nerull (murder), doesn't really do justice to any of the component parts

No real reason to exist as a deity save for the Test of the Starstone

Pharasma

Replaces Wee Jas (as goddess of death/fate) by way of Istus

Pros:

Seems to have been created in tandem with the Raven Queen, rather than being a reaction to it per se.

Keeps the river associations with Death.

Mythos includes her and Yog-Sothoth as "anchors of creation"

Name isn't horrible.

Cons:

Name isn't great, either.

Kinda boring.

Very big on the "prophecy/fate doesn't work anymore" motif. (Eyeroll.)

Rovagug

Replaces Tharizdun (Greyhawk/Temple of Elemental Evil)/Kezef the Chaos Hound (Forgotten Realms)

Pros:

Enemy of the Gods sort of monstrosity, like Typhon

LOCKED INSIDE THE PLANET! Like Typhon, but cooler

Cons:

Usually such a monster only works if the pantheon is a tight one, which this isn't by any means.

Name is both stupid and not scary.

Symbol is laughable

Not as cool as the innumerable other apocalyptic deities in the setting, including Azathoth et al.

Sarenrae

Replaces YHWH Pelor

Pros:

About what you'd expect for a replacement for Pelor to be

Cool holy symbol and epithets

Name isn't bad at all

Cons:

Requisite Neutral Good Sun Deity of Healing and Goodness to cater to the Christians when playing a fantasy roleplaying game filled with paganism. (Rather sick of these gods.)

Another Fantasy Sarah name

Doesn't even incorporate phoenix symbolism

Agriculture? And associated calendars? What are those? (4e's Pelor is a bit better about sun cults, IMHO.)

I mean, out of all the Crystal Dragon Jesi out there, I kinda like this one. But only kinda.

Shelyn

Replaces Corellon Larethian (as god of music, art, etc.) by way of Sune

Pros:

Another goddess of love! An Aphrodite Urania! Woohoo!

Hey, she's also the goddess of art! :D

Cons:

Her name is literally Shelly/Sheila + Lynn(e). It doesn't sound bad, it's just a boring-ass regular name.

As of this spot in the list we have one god (Cayden Cailean, but only because he's an ascended mortal and still acts like his old self) and multiple goddesses (Calistria, Lamashtu, Pharasma, Shelyn) relating to sex, sexuality, and resulting issues thereof. Of these, the least sexual is Cayden; it's not a major component of his identity nor of his cult, just an aspect of his behavior. Pharasma is literally the goddess of birth, alongside Lamashtu. There are two more gods in the pantheon that deal with that sort of thing: Urgathoa (female) and Zon-Kuthon (male). This seems a little skewed, don'tcha think? A little, shall we say, patriarchal and heteronormative?

Her role as the goddess of art falls by the wayside. It's there, but it's treated as ancillary. Because we can't have Apollo.

Torag

Replaces Moradin

Pros: Not really any.

Cons:

"All Dwarves are the Same," ergo the god of dwarves is just a dwarf. Like, Corellon was just a deified elf, but managed to draw upon Apollo for interesting bits. Moradin/Torag should draw on Hephaistos, but doesn't beyond being a smith. (I mean, this all goes back to Aule in the Silmarillion.)

5e also has a Torog (with O), who is the god of the Underdark, prisons, and torture (so Zon-Kuthon, but less sexual/a Hellraiser reference). The name's not terrible for a dwarf god, just not terribly interesting.

Urgathoa

Replaces most of Vecna (lesser goddess of magic, undead, etc.)

Pros:

More of the gluttony/undeath parallelism

Gluttony isn't just eating, but wasteful indulgence; also a sex goddess

Cons:

Squick beyond squick. Like, I did not need to see that illustration and know that it's of a sex goddess.

Almost redundant with Zon-Kuthon, given her role as goddess of squick.

Name's ugly, but it at least fits somewhat?

Zon-Kuthon

Pros:

Not a replacement deity: does not have an equivalent in the Core 3.x Pantheon at all.

Cons:

Just a Hellraiser reference, as are the Kytons. Eh.

Missing from the replacements are Bahamut (Apsu, a draconic god), Garl Glittergold (the only gnomish god is Nivi Rhombodazzle, an ascended svirfneblin), and Gruumsh (the orcs have a much more extensive pantheon of gods than they do in Greyhawk or in the Realms). If you wanted to include Ilsesine in the Core Pantheon (since it's printed beside Zuoken), it doesn't have a replacement per se, but then again the Aboleths had to take over for the Illithids, so whatever.

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