#and the way she deals with that is to repress it while shagging him and pretending it doesn't mean anything

[ilosttrackofthings]

parasimmons + couch

A quick drabble because I failed to write anything more substantial this weekend.

Much as Jemma hates to admit it, Malick must have a great deal more fortitude than she’s given him credit for. Under the onslaught of two exceedingly judgmental stares, he remains fixed firmly in place, determined to see through what he’s begun.

Of course, what he’s begun is stupid, and so Jemma informs him, “You’re in the way,” just in case he might have missed the rather obvious fact that he’s standing between them and the TV.

“He has a meeting,” he says again, just barely managing to keep his tone civil.

“Really?” she asks, not bothering with civility at all. She turns to Alveus. “I thought you were a god.”

He grins. She doesn’t know whether it’s because he’s amused by her playacting or just pleased she’s not treating his delusions of godhood as, well, delusions for once. Or, most likely of all, he’s pleased by the way she’s pasted herself even more closely against his side simply because it irritates Malick.

She fought the soulbond between them on Maveth. Not because she didn’t want it but because that initial drive to consummate the bond was getting in the way of her research into bringing them home. When they finally made it, the bond asserted itself quite forcefully and even so many weeks later she can find herself near overwhelmed by a simple touch from him. Though he’s far too pompous to admit it, she suspects Alveus feels much the same.

“I am,” he says patiently.

Jemma turns back to Malick. “He’s a god,” she tells him quite seriously. “Which I rather think means everyone else is on his schedule, don’t you?”

Beside her, Alveus shakes with repressed laughter.

Malick shakes with something else altogether. It takes him several seconds to compose himself well enough to say, “Of course. However, sir-” he looks pointed at not her- “you did say you wanted the report on the ATCU’s progress. I’ve arranged a meeting with the director, who is not aware of your status. I’m afraid she’s not Hydra and, as such, it is in all of our best interests to, ah, play along with her misconceptions for as long as possible.”

The problem, Jemma’s learned, with one’s soulmate being significantly older (if a difference of several thousand years can be called merely “significant”) is that the additional years give them plenty of opportunity to get into trouble. Not, of course, that Jemma’s against trouble as a rule; her friendship with Skye has certainly opened up her mind on that score. But there is a difference between breaking a rule (or twelve) in order to help one’s friends and being the bloody head of all Hydra.

Luckily, however, Jemma has also learned how to work around that particular problem.

Beneath the blanket covering them both, her hand fists in the front of Alveus’ shirt and her knee hooks over his. Even through the fabric of their clothing, her skin buzzes at the contact, eager for more.

“But this is my favorite.”

Alveus’ chest rumbles with more laughter. “They have all been your favorite.”

“But this one is about a wormhole to the other side of the universe. It has a special place in my heart.” She traces her finger over his. “Besides, it’s Jodie Foster.”

Alveus hesitates a moment more (a “god” can’t give in too easily, not even to his soulmate) before shrugging his shoulders. “I am afraid Jemma is right, Gideon. Your director will have to wait.”

Malick’s eyes widen and for a moment Jemma really thinks he might lunge at her. In the weeks since their return from Maveth, he’s grown increasingly aggravated by her presence. That she’s a SHIELD agent is bad enough. That her status as his god’s soulmate gives her unhindered access to him and the ability to distract him from all of Malick’s grand plans will, she thinks soon, become unendurable. What Alveus will do then, Jemma doesn’t know, though she’s privately hoping whatever move Malick makes will be sufficiently dramatic to convince him Hydra is no place for them.

Fortunately (because Jemma really does love this movie), the day of Malick’s inevitable snapping is not today. He marches out, somewhat stiff on his feet, leaving them to their entertainment. Jemma twists to grab the remote from where it fell beside her but, before she can find it, finds herself dragged into Alveus’ lap.

“What are you doing?” she asks, the words coming out rather high-pitched thanks to his hand already slipping beneath her top.

“You have distracted me from my meeting,” he says into her neck. Her head drops back and she clenches her teeth against a moan. This, she thinks, is why it’s customary for the newly bonded to be relieved of all obligations for a few days of endless shagging. Putting it off has left them completely unable to control themselves. “So I,” Alveus continues while moving down her neck, “will distract you from your film.”

“But—it’s—my-” She means to say it’s her favorite, but the teasing statement is lost amidst his kisses.

They don’t finish the film until very late that evening.

#parasimmons #hivesimmons #soulmate fics #aos fic #my fic #ftwes

[laboratorioautoral]

Prompt: when Arya brings Jon as her date to some Tully cousin wedding everyone thinks it's because she had no one to invite. No one knows they're defiling some of the rooms of the wedding venue.

Fair warning that this one has M content in it. Enjoy the ride, girl!

“Itwas very nice of you to come with Arya.” Robb said while givingJon’s shoulder a friendly petting. He was Jon’s best friend and akilling business man, but when it came to observe his surroundingsand seeing the obvious Robb wasn’t exactly the brightest. Jon triedto play cool as if that wasn’t a big deal at all, he was sweatinglike a sinner in church inside his suite. “God knows these familygatherings can be a pain and after she broke up with Gendry it wouldimpossible for Arya to escape the inquisitorial brigade.”

Jonlaughed nervously as he held his whiskey and tried to play cool withhis best friend. He was a terrible liar and Robb was an overzealousbrother. Keeping him ignorant about the nature of his currentarrangement with Arya was for the best to all the parts involved.

“Ithappens that I’m a decent guy and Arya shouldn’t have to come toa place such as this on her own. I offered myself so she wouldn’tfeel embarrassed for not finding someone else escort her in time forthe wedding. I can always keep her far from your mother’s aunts andweird Lysa if needed, although I doubt Arya will ever need me torescue her.”

“Idon’t get it why you don’t have a girlfriend since Ygritte.”Robb had clearly drunk more than it would be wise to, but if thathelped him to keep his nose out of Jon’s business, all the best.“You are a true gentleman.” Robb said as he poked his chest,before going back to his table where Jayne was waiting for him with asour face.

Hewondered how many times Edmure would get married and force the wholefamily to pretend they believed that this time would be for real.Roslyn seemed to be a fine lady for sure, but that was no guaranteeof keeping Tully to one bed. That was none of Jon’s businessthough. As long as Jon could enjoy the free drinks he was cool withall the wedding extravaganza. More than just cool really.

Aryawas looking his way nervously. She wasn’t comfortable with Robbmaking questions, but that wasn’t the case. Robb was justcompletely oblivious and believing firmly that he had agreed toescort Arya out of pity and friendship. Well…Pity had nothing to dowith that.

Catdidn’t seem pleased with Jon’s presence at her brother’swedding, but Mrs. Stark remained as polite as ever although the wayshe looked at him was terrifying. Arya had reassured him that it wasjust because her mother had hoped for her to present her fiancee tothe rest of the family. Arya had ruined those plans a couple of weeksbefore the wedding by breaking up with her long term boyfriend forreasons Jon would never speak of out loud.

Hemight have had something to do with the split. He surely hadn’tkissed her out of friendship when Arya started to rant about how itwas absurd the pressure she was suffering for moving his relationshipto the next level. He hadn’t begged her to reconsider just becausehe didn’t agree that Gendry was the best for her. No…They hadn’tfucked the whole night just so Arya could be sure of her lifechoices. Oh no…That had been something both of them had beenfantasizing since Arya kissed him under the mistletoe in one of themany Christmas he had spent at the Starks, or at least he had. Jonwas going to hell anyway, so that was a sin he would never neglect.God, had it been worth it?!

Noone else in her family knew the reason behind her actions. Ned hadbeen upset, but not surprised, while Cat was somewhat embarrassedabout her daughter being so different from Sansa while dealing withthose things.

Whateverhappened between them was surely the result of a long period ofdenial and repressed feelings. He couldn’t tell when it started,only when it became to obvious and to asphyxiating to be omitted.Arya was supposed to be something like a little sister to him, giventhat Jon knew her since she was nine and he became friends with Robbat school. They were close, some times too close to make peoplearound them comfortable, but Jon never even considered looking at herin a different way until she started to date a random guy named EdricDayne.

AfterDayne came the foreign guy and then Gendry. With the last one thingswere getting serious and so was his crush on her. It was more than acrush really. Something between maddening lust and pure passion. Aryawould laugh at him if he said it out loud, but he was almost sure itwas love.

“WhatRobb wanted?” She came to him asked once her brother finally leftJon in peace.

Itwas unusual for Arya to wear dresses and fancy clothes, but that wasa special occasion after all. His eyes roamed all over her body andit was impossible to conceal his hunger for her. Hell! He wanted tovanish from that place, tell everyone to get lost and be alone withher in his hotel room. Burn the damn place, make her scream his nameso loud that the manager would end up calling the police.

“Hewas thanking me for coming as your escort.” Jon said before sippinghis whiskey while playing cool to not rise suspicions. “He thinksI’m a good friend.”

“Ohyou are a very good friend.” She replied with a sly grin playing onher red painted lips. “Very good indeed. Are you enjoying theparty?”

“Honestly?”Jon looked at her with utter boredom. “I hate your mother’s sideof the family. Really. I want all of them to get lost and I’m sureI’ll end up murdering someone if they ask me who my parents areagain.”

“Oldrich people have this weir habit. If you visited your father morefrequently, you would notice that too.” Arya pointed before takingthe glass from his hand and giving it a sip. “What can I do to makeit easier for you to stay here?”

“Youwant me to say the truth or to be polite?” Jon teased beforelooking around and checking if there wasn’t anyone looking. Once hefigured that it was safe to get closer to her, his hand restedagainst the small of her back and teased with the idea of grabbingher ass.

“Nothere.” Arya slap his shoulder lightly. “Later.”

“Ihate this place and everyone here but Robb and Ned. This is beingtorture and I want to take you back to the hotel so I can do all thenasty things I have in mind right now.”

“Careful,Jon. You’ll have to fulfill your promises. I’m not sure you’llbe sober enough to perform.” It was a challenge he was willing toaccept and prove her how capable he was.

“Ok.That’s the deal.” He said lowly close to her ear. “Find us anempty room here. Right now. I can’t wait any more.”

Aryagave a few steps back and grinned at him in a way that could onlymean she had a plan. Not an ordinary plan. More like somethingstraight out of a movie and wasn’t she a star after all? It wasonly fitting to her personality.

“Ithink…I need some wine.” She said while waving her hand at awaitress that was carrying the drinks.

Thegirl came to them and passed Arya a glass of red wine. Arya gave it asip while Jon looked at her a bit incredulous about her blunt lack ofconcern for his needs. He had no idea of what she had in mind. Maybeshe would just tease him to no end, so when they got back to thehotel he would be  all mad and angry, just to make thing rough andwild between them.

“Whatthe hell are you doing?” He questioned. Arya’s smile got wider.

“Drinkingsome wine.” She said sarcastically. “It’s really good. Youshould try it.”

“Idon’t want wine.” He replied without understanding what thatscene was all about.

“Youshould really try it, Jon.” Arya insisted as she came closer withthe glass in hand. He should have sensed the danger of her wickedmind, but he wasn’t the brightest when Arya got all of hisattention like that.

Itall happened very quickly. Arya made a face before faking a tumbleand spilling half of the wine all over his shirt. Jon was stupefiedfor a moment as he looked down his stained shirt. He didn’t knowwhat to do at first. He simply looked back at her without a clue ofwhat was wrong with her. Arya made an apologetic face that was aperformance worthy of an Academy Award.

“I’mso so sorry! Come! Let me find something to clean this mess before itruins your shirt for good.” She said before grabbing his hand anddragging him around like a dog on a leash.

Hefelt a bit stupid, but he played along. Jon let her lead the wayuntil they found the Stark’s table.

Assoon as Cat saw what have happened to his clothes, she looked at Aryaas if she hadn’t even been able to find an escort that could handlea glass of wine without making a mess out of it.

“Whathappened to you?” Ned asked first. It Robb was completely cluelessabout what was going on between Jon and Arya, he surely had inheritedhis slow perception from Ned.

“It’sall my fault. I was holding my glass when I tumbled and let the winespill all over Jon’s shirt.” Arya explained with the mostinnocent voice one could ever hear. “Mom, do you know where I canfind something to clean this mess? Maybe get Jon another shirt?”

Catlooked at them carefully. Jon was sure the woman hadn’t bought asingle word Arya had said, but she had no proof to contest herdaughter.

“Theguest’s room on the second floor is empty. You can ask someone ofthe staff to get Jon one of Edmure’s shirts. It maybe a bit largefor him, but it’s better than this for sure.” Cat replied in aneven and bored tone. “You should be more careful next time, Arya.”

“Oh,I will.” Arya grinned before grabbing his arm again. “Come, Jon.”

Thatwas when everything made sense inside his head. That wicked woman!How he loved it when she got them in a bit of a role play. He waspositively feeling like James Bond sneaking into the enemies lair tohave a good shag before stealing something vital to the mission.

Jontried to not laugh at the whole thing and play along with her story.Arya led him into her uncle’s outrageous house. The place waspretty much a palace, or at least something like a mansion frommovies. He had only seen something like that whenever visiting hisfather during summer or a random holiday.

Whenthey got to the second floor Arya dragged him inside the empty roomand slammed the door behind him. She looked at him with a triumphantgrin on her face as she inclined her head to the right just a bit.

“Ithink you should take of this shirt so we can fix it.” She teasedand before she could speak anything else Jon was already pressing heragainst the closed door and kissing her avidly.

Aryaremoves his blazer and unbuttoned his shirt blindly. Jon’s handsearched for the zipper of her dress and opened it half way to bed.It felt like unwrapping a Christmas present. Under the expensive gownhe found her in a set of smoking hot underwear. Something lacy andtransparent that looked inviting to the touch and gave little toimagination.

Shesat on the king size bad and spread her legs wide open. He needed notfurther clue for what do next. Jon got on his knees between her legas Arya laid her back on the bed. Jon gave her belly and open mouthkiss as his hand slid down from her breast to her slippery wet cunt.

Hisfingers sank inside her before his mouth could reach for her clit andgive it a hard suck. Arya let a little cry of surprise escape hermouth and Jon felt her body relax once his tongue started to work onher in sync with his fingers’ moves.

Herbody arched and her breath got labored. Jon could feel her alllanguid and his fingers played with her. Tight, warm and silken,nearly dripping so she could received him inside of her. Damn theparty downstairs and the need for a hushed encounter just to settlehis needs so he could make it to the rest of the day. Damn her familyand all the role play they had been putting up so no one would findout. He wanted Arya to scream his name loud and clear for everyone tolisten. There would be no moments of silence. He liked her betterwhen she would sing her songs of pleasure.

Aryaheld to the covers of the bed as her legs tightened around his head.He felt her right hand on his scalp, pulling his hair and keeping hishead in place. Not that Jon needed directions at that point. He knewhow she liked it. He had learned to read her body to the point ofknowing all of her favorite spots by heart.

Shelet a loud and strangled sound crawl out of her throat and Jon felther tightening around his fingers. Her taste invaded his mouth all ofa sudden and he licked every single drop of her. That was a goodentrance. Main course promised to be worthy of the gods’ mouths.

Jonlooked up to her, all lazily laid and grinning out of sheersatisfaction. It took her a few seconds to sat back in bed andunbuckle his trousers. For a moment he thought she would return thefavor. Not that he would complain if that was the case, but he wouldrather skip the foreplay and go straight to game. Luckily, Aryaseemed to read his mind at times.

Aryagot back on her feet and took his hand. She pulled him to thebathroom. Like a nymph or a witch, her hips swayed as if she wasdancing all the way back to the forest, dragging her next prey intoher cave.

“Whatis the game now?” He asked once they were inside. “Do you need ashower already?”

“No,stupid.” She said before turning her back at him and reclining overthe marble countertop of the double sink cabinet, just to give him abetter look of her ass. Arya looked at him through the mirror andgave a half smile. “I want to get a better look of us as you fuckme good.”

Ohshe wouldn’t have to say it again!

Jongave her ass a good slap and her left shoulder a bite. Arya’s smilegot wider in the mirror as she leaned her body a bit more to give hima better angle.

Heguided his cock inside her deliciously wet cunt. Arya moved her hipsa bit, making it impossible for him to have any other coherentthought. Jon grabbed a handful of her hair before he started to move.Arya had been right, as usual. The image of them fucking like madreflected on the mirror was a true work of art.

Jonmade it slow at first. He wanted to enjoy the view of her boobsshaking as he thrust inside her and savor the moment properly, butArya seemed to be craving for a different kind of game.

“Faster!”She said angrily. “I’m dying here!” He was more than pleased tooblige.

Therhythm got frantic and Arya was so tight that it made it almostimpossible for him to last long. Fifteen minutes was far from beingsomething Jon would label as satisfactiory and he had promised hersomething memorable.

Hisright hand got between her legs to work on her clit once more andArya’s mouth formed a perfect “O” in sign of approval. Jontried to focus on her. Focus in making her cum first. He increasedthe pressure on her clit and pumped his hips against hers evenfaster.

Arya’sright hand reached for the mirror for support as the left arm stoodfirmly over the countertop. She was close, he could tell. Very closein deed. He kept rubbing her clit vigorously until Arys screamedhoarsely and he felt her tightening in a sequence of spasm round hiscock. Jon gave a good look at her face reflected in the mirror beforecumming deep inside her.

Theycouldn’t speak or even breathe properly for a while. When Jonrecovered his senses he gave a step back and let Arya go back to herfeet.

Sheturned around and looked at him like a goddess pleased with anoffering received. She kissed him hard once more before walking outof the bath room to pick up his stained shirt from the floor. Aryasoaked the damn thing in water and had a little soap spread all overit.

“Youknow I don’t care about this shirt, don’t you?” He asked beforegiving her bare ass another smack.

“Youmight not care but, should my mother ask the staff, they will be ableto tell her that I had been trying to wash the wine out of it and ittook me a while to realize it wouldn’t work.” Arya explained witha know-it-all smile.

“Maybewe should just… You know. Come out as a couple already and be donewith it?” Jon suggested while he grabbed his clothes and gotdressed. “Robb will overcome the trauma, eventually.”

“Andmiss all the fun of sneaking into an empty room with you on myuncle’s next marriage?” Arya teased.

“Wecan keep doing it. We would just skip the part in which we pretend tobe just friends. It’s kind of exhausting and I don’t think we areconvincing anyone, by the way.” Jon replied as a matter of fact.“What do you think?”

“Ithink I should find you a clean shirt.” Arya said airily. “But ifthe point of this chat is asking me to be your girlfriend, I think wecan make it official in a month or two. I just broke up with my ex.Let us give my family some breathing space.”

“Deal.”He said it all too pleased with himself before kissing her.

“Weshould go back to the party.” She said.

“Onlyif you promise me we are getting back to the hotel as soon aspossible.” He answered. “I’m not done with you yet, Miss.”

#jon and arya #jon x arya #jon/arya #jonarya #jonrya #needleheart #suppleassin

[postpunkpontypandyphantomthief]

San-Soho (The Young Ones/Black Mirror)

note: even though there are meta-references to the actors playing these characters (Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson) the characters are still the same, even if they have similar appearances as their actors outside of the “san soho” realm.

Some dialogue I have added in myself, but the rest of the fanfic’s format was based on the original script of the Black Mirror episode San Junipero written by Charlie Brooker and directed by Owen Harris) they own the concept,and (The Young Ones was written by Ben Elton,Rik Mayall and Lise Mayer, Directed by Paul Jackson,Geoff Posner and Ed Bye, with the characters belonging to the actors who played them).

Britain's equivalent to San Junipero is San Soho

(when Rick Pratt wanders San Soho he meets a punk called Vyvyan as their lives change forever)

(this is also mainly told from Rick's perspective)

Chapter 1

The year was 1985

Walking along the sidewalk of neon sparkling Soho was the sarcastic but socially timid Rick Pratt,

A young man in his early 20s he was dressed quite plainly

He experienced 1985 before this was one of those many times

He decided to visit the local nightclub

He had a loose grey shirt, black badge covered blazer and red boots on, not usual nightclub attire but he wasn't really a party person so he focused on Pac-man which he was not good at

when suddenly he saw a beautiful orange-haired man in a trihawk dancing on the dance floor to The Clash.

Rick tried to ignore the punk but he noticed him

“Oi!”

He tried to run off but the punk kept gesturing to him moving his head in his direction when he wasn't moshing

“Wanna join”

“Pardon?” Rick said unable to sense the gesture due to the loud atmosphere

“Right” the punk mumbled before he ran over to Rick and dragged him to the dance floor to join him

“You're going to enjoy this” the punk shouted before Rick started to mosh

Swaying his body in an animated fashion like that of a vintage cartoon character

The crowd was crashing like a wave except covered in spike studs and band logos

Rick felt like a stammering Ian Curtis as he clambered making sure he didn't hit anyone

He ended up clambering with that punk from earlier.

Part of Rick wanted to enjoy this cool “rebellious” activity but the other felt like he was ruining the event simply by being there.

He felt uneasy he didn't want anyone thinking anything weird was going on.

Rick was unsure about the concept of moshing but tried to continue anyway.

Chapter 2

When the song was over he left the dance floor he felt a bit embarrassed he could feel his nerves acting up so he just sipped his lemonade and walked out the fire escape door.

The punk from before caught up with him “Why are you running away?” he asked

Rick  made an awkward smile “Sorry I’m not into *moshing*”

The Punk answered back “No shit you were like the world’s most stiff giraffe back there”

Rick was going to walk off only for the punk to say “I was taking the piss...obviously”

“I’m Vyvyan, sorry for forcing you to mosh with me, I only get to do these on Saturday nights

Rick sat on a low wall

“It wasn't that Everyone was looking at us crash into each other”

Vyvyan tilted his head “Why would they care?”

Rick made a couple miming gestures with his hands

“You know? two blokes grinding into each other like cheese graters”

Vyvyan lit a cigarette and smoked it

“Okay: one, there’s not as many uptight tory folks here as there used to be, and two,

This is a punk part of town nobody’s judging here”

“You want one?” he offered as he leaned over holding his lighter to where Rick was sitting

Rick nodded as he also took a cigarette

Vyvyan spoke again “if they were staring it’s because they were intimidated by me sod em”

Rick chuckled “your such a stupid fascist you know that?”

Vyvyan smirked proudly “Thank you”

Rick looked at the sky “I’ve never moshed before”

Vyvyan stared at him surprised “Never, as in you’ve never gotten a gang of mates to just destroy the dance floor to Iron Maiden?”

Rick shook his head “Never I’d usually listen to punk rock music alone

Living in a right-wing house that was frowned upon, tattoos, androgyny the whole lot

Vyvyan was shocked “What are you a hermit? that’s one drab existence you’ve got there”

Rick shrugged

“They vote the pigs, the officers attack people like rabid dogs I want to be a revolutionary Anarchist poet but I can’t do much else they worship thatch like she’s God outside of literature I’m politically pathetic”

Rick looked down when Vyvyan sat next to him

“Yeah, Well. No one knows about half the shit I’ve done, like Riding a motorbike up someone's staircase”

“With your folks, they come from a different place on the political spectrum tories will always be nasty in my eyes”

“Yep I agree with you there, it doesn't help to have no mates, they simply don’t understand concepts like shyness, trust issues or anxiety

I get panic attacks sometimes around crowds and what they say is just deal with it.

“from past social experiences I’ve had to repress many things depressive episodes, nerves and flashbacks just because I don’t want to bother others or bring the mood down”

“I always feel weird when put into lively situations but that’s because I haven’t gotten the chance to fully express myself in that way”

Rick kicked his legs against a wall when Vyvyan looked at him

“What would you like to do that you’ve never done before?”

Rick smiled “Oh so many things I’d like to go to concerts, I’d like to perform for people, I’d like to, I’d’ like to

Vyvyan put his finger on Rick’s lips “Soho is the party hub of London might as well nick all the time we have left while we still can”

They went to fortune tellers, they went to thrift shops, they bought some “magazines” and they checked out the local comic strip club seeing the likes of French and Saunders, Alexi Sayle and Peter Richardson and Nigel Planer onstage telling jokes.

Rick and Vyvyan then ran off to a pub where they got completely sloshed usually Rick would be able to hold his lager but when “Come On Eileen” was playing on the radio Vyvyan had thrown him into his arms as they danced until after a few more minutes Rick was getting tired and Vyvyan was getting bored “Boring bastard” he mumbled angrily as he grabbed Rick’s sleepy face shoving his head into the cake that was in front of him.

Rick cheerfully said, “Hey Vyv this is like Laurel and Hardy or do you prefer Chaplin?”

This ramble of questions cascaded into Vyvyan yelling “Shut Up!” in Rick’s face

Rick was suddenly silent he was probably asleep but then Vyv remembered what he said about mental health before as he quietly carried Rick over his shoulder driving him back to his place in his yellow Ford Anglia.

At Vyvyan’s house, he let Rick relax on his sofa covered in his universal monster themed blanket

He was about to mumble “I’m sorry” when Rick suddenly awoke to scoff “You bloody fascist” pointing his finger at Vyvyan aggressively before he threw a tantrum “You got your hands over me  How dare you! And to think you thought you’d get a snog from me”

Vyvyan was annoyed but not annoyed enough to get violent so he chased Rick around the room

There was a short intermission from the fight when Vyvyan accidentally turned on his record player making the Cliff Richard hit “Living Doll” play which made Rick pause going into a dream-like trance badly singing out of tune

it was not long until they were both yelling “Virgin” at each other while pillow fighting.

However, because of the fun “fight” as they were no longer angry they were laughing

When Rick’s pigtails were undone Rick then pulled at Vyvyan’s hair leaving orange hair dye stains on Rick’s shirt

What started off as a chase around the house, dancing and pillow fighting resulted in Vyvyan trying to playfully choke Rick only for him to aggressively hug Vyvyan in return

After the snog and shag was over

Rick innocently licked his lips “I’ve never done anything like that before”

Vyvyan smirked “All the more reason” as he unlocked the handcuffs from his bed

Rick hesitated “you're a lovely bloke. I can’t”

Vyvyan shrugged “Alright then”

Rick stumbled over his words “you see -I?”

Vyvyan nodded “I understand”

Rick looked at the time and scrambled to get his clothes on before he was about to dash outside “I have to go”

Vyvyan stared “in this crap weather?”

Rick shouted back “It’s been great to meet you”

Chapter 3

He shook Vyvyan’s hand before he left

Later in the early morning, Rick was looking around his wardrobe for different outfits

He tried a green suit but it didn't work, he tried a basic shirt with a tie and jeans that didn't work, he even tried a blue and red anorak but that didn't work so he just had to settle with his pair of yellow dungarees.

A few days later at the same club, they met at Vyvyan tried to talk to Rick but he was talking to someone was that Peter Richardson’s son he was with?

He wandered into the restrooms that Rick had went off to he surprisingly still had his pigtails in

They said nothing

Rick looked in the mirror his hands on his cheeks unhappy a fake smile projected on his face amongst the red lip balm smudged under his lips

“I don’t know how to do this”

Vyvyan was confused “do what?”

Rick whined “Just help me can’t you just”

He settled “It’s like talking to a bloody hologram”

Vyvyan looked down and then back at Rick’s upset face he smiled

“You want to get in my car?”

Vyvyan raced his Ford Anglia down the highway the street looking like it was a 1980s music video

Rick asked, “How long have you been here?”

Vyvyan answered, “In Soho?”

Rick nodded

Vyvyan thought for a while

“ a couple months but the main thing is I’m planning to enjoy myself before I finally pop my clogs...guess I’m a lurking wanker like you”

Rick chuckled “Yeah”

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Chapter 4

Vyv’s car suddenly ended up in the upcoming lane luckily they prevented danger as the car skidded to a halt

“SHIT!” Rick yelled

Vyvyan started erupting into laughter his gravelly nasally voice being more loud than the traffic

“Your face”

They then went back round to Vyvyan’s place to have another shag even though outside of the dream system version of Soho Rick and Vyvyan were virgins

They then chatted about their past loves Rick apparently once had a big crush on a Scottish makeup artist and they remembered about when they watched the comic strip days before that Vyvyan and Jennifer Saunders were making subtle body language to each other.

Rick then remembered not only were they in the simulated afterlife of Soho but they were fictional characters with vague memories of the meta actors who played them in real life

He looked at the clock and then remembered something dark,something secret something Vyvyan should never know.

“I’m just going to party and nothing is going to stop me not Tories and definitely not that facist God”

Rick then walked off in a huff

Vyvyan continued to enjoy life in Soho without Rick but that was hard

A few days later and Soho looks like it’s in the 2000s

Vyvyan walked into the night club while Feel Good Inc by the Gorillaz played in the background

Vyvyan could see Rick with his hair down in more “Emo” attire playing dance dance revolution only for him to stop when he noticed Vyvyan.

Vyvyan started hounding Rick with questions in the restroom

“Wait a minute I’ve been looking for you why did you piss off like that?”

Rick was irritated “Why are you here?”

Vyvyan shouted “Why did you hide from me?”

Rick ran off some people could notice when Vyvyan saw that Rick was on the roof of the nightclub

Vyvyan ran up to where Rick was “Please tell me your pain slider is turned down”

Rick moved his eyebrows “Maybe,Maybe not”

Before he walked away “I’m not going to jump”

Vyvyan sighed looking down and then back at Rick “Look I’m sorry alright,I’m a lurker too I-I

Rick felt solemn “I don’t know how long there is,I wasn't prepared for this I wanted to…”

Vyvyan shut him up with a kiss

They had another passionate night in Vyvyan’s place but then the unpleasant question was mentioned again

Rick exhaled “I have 3 months”

Vyvyan whined “Why? I’ll have nobody to play fight with at the pub every night nobody to have slapstick arguements with it’s not going to be the same”

Rick explained “my real life self, he was married he had kids,he had a happy life he entertained many but then he took a tumble on a quadbike and lost part of his spark eventually that caught up with him and he’s in the afterlife now I’m still around because I’m a fictional entity he created but like with imaginary friends I’m fading the more I’m forgotten I don’t want the same fate"

Vyvyan started to sob “Don’t leave me this way”

Rick smiled at him “I’m dying the people’s poet is dying nothing but that scares me”

Vyvyan whimpered “I want to visit you,let me say hi”

Rick again walked off the time changed from 11:59 to 12:00

Later a more grown up Vyvyan arrived at a hospital 

he now had glasses and was balding looking like an old man he was taken to a private room where Rick was quietly resting he was a lot more older than before he looked like he was in his 40s or 50s.

he looked at Rick for a moment

“It’s time for you to pass over and me soon probably”

He shrugged,

Vyvyan then took out a ring and put it onto Rick’s frail finger

As he was given the device to transport him and Rick back to Soho

After a few days, he did the same 

It was a sunny day in early March when in Soho Vyvyan parked his car near the seaside as he ran over to rick who was folding his hands happily,

“Miss me?”

Vyvyan  was lost for words “Of course I bloody missed you Happy Birthday” he shouted as he aggressively hugged Rick in an embrace as they ran along the seaside chasing each other like old times.

The End~

(dedicated to the late great pan global phenomenon,Lord of Misrule and Peoples Poet) Rik Mayall (1958-2014) (The Future is as bright as you make it, Love is the answer~!)

#black mirror #the young ones #rivyvyan #rick and vyvyan #rick pratt #vyvyan basterd #fanfic #fanfiction #san junipero #rik mayall #ade edmondson #1980s #rick x vyvyan #m/m