#and the sorta psychopath dad

[popcaki]

what do you think of the people that make up headcanons about ghost not being able to love and calling him "a broken man"? as a person with trauma this absolutely shatters me bc even if i repress my feelings,by the end of the day im still craving that type of human connection.they literally call him a psychopath/sociopath and going as far as to call him heartless...

Trigger warning: Discussion of trauma,

just a disclaimer to people seeing this, people can write whatever they want and we all have unique views on a character and so on,

but in my personal opinion, yeah I don’t understand why people make him into a psychopath and straight-up abusive. It’s true some people can become like this but it really puts trauma victims in a bad light. Not to mention people who have trouble expressing their emotions making people think you’re emotionless when in fact you are feeling a looot of different kinds of emotions. Lots of autistic people for example. I do think he has a bit of a twisted mind, he is a morally grey character and can be a bad person, but it is clear as day that he does care about his teammates and that Infinity Ward is showing more of his good sides,

examples of Ghost not being a emotionless/abusive/psychopath:

the ”No one fights alone” I mean do I need to say more?

him sounding actually sorta terrified when Graves betrays them and he calls out to Soap,

does this look like a face of a emotionless guy?

in the original MW2 he literally screams ”NO” and is about to shoot shepard when they get betrayed. He sounds absolutely devastated when his team mate dies

Ghost going ”Why?” in a panicked way when Graves stated he cannot disarm the missile, there is clear stress and concern.

If I remember correctly Ghost has canonly anger issues, anger is an emotion lmao.

He literally makes dad jokes with soap and clearly thinks they are funny, the guy has a dry sense of humor.

He’s making sure to keep Soap talking and alive as best as he can in the Alone mission. Even if it’s all practical and needing a team mate alive for that reason I don’t think Ghost would want Soap dying in general.

If I remember correctly he literally holds his mothers skull smiling, seeking comfort, in a very disturbing and stressful moment for him

Him literally going ''that's for my mates!'' in multiplayer when you get the enemy team back

Distracting the creep of a terrorist from interacting with the child

He thinks war crimes is ''Tyranny, it won't stand.''

He clearly bottles things up and has multiple times shown he indeed has emotions. I think Ghost would want a normal life and connections, I truly believe that. He is just most likely terrified (another emotion) of forming them due to fear of betrayal or loved ones dying.

He is broken but not in the way of being an emotionless abusive psychopath, he really does need support and help, therapy, support from friends etc. It’s not something someone/another character can fix. He’s the one who needs to be comfortable enough to want to seek help in the first place.

I don’t think he’d take things out on people close to him or innocents either.

But yeah it puts trauma victims and people who express themsleves in a way that isnt the norm in a weird light, imo. I still find it weird with all the trauma erasing/ignoring for him too, you can still write about it and have em work things through and get the help the character needs. A character can still love and want human connection despite trauma.

I’m wondering if what’s going on is that people only see Ghost and not Simon Riley? he’s wearing a mask which hides most of his facial expressions, but if you look at his eyes he displays lots of emotions. As if the masking he’s put on figuratively and literally to try to push people away and think of him as something else is working on people in real life?

anyway I hope this answers your question!

edit: I just now properly read the comics (I skimmed through before because it was a bit tough to read), and this post including my post about his SA trauma still stands... He only hurts people who seem to deserve it, and he's feeling a bunch of emotions. I highly recommend reading the Ghost comics about his backstory, it's very triggering tho so be warned, contains all sorts of messed up shit. But this makes me even realise more how many fics and headcanons contain things that would trigger Simon massively and how many portray him as an abusive person, it's a bit unsettling to see. if you don't wanna go through with reading the comics I can list things that happened that will definitely be a trigger for him,

His dad was abusive, absolutely horrible. I don't think calling Simon ''Daddy'' would be something he enjoys.

Christmas times, his family got slaughtered on Christmas, I don't think you'll really move on from that.

He got SA both by women and men, and he feels terrible about it.

He was held captive for months, tortured (this includes SA and physical violence) and they tried to brainwash him, to change him.

Concerts.

He's not a terrible person, he's morally grey. He's gone through a lot of bad shit. He himself is the one who's going to need to want help or seek out things like human connection, Him trusting Soap, and the rest of the team is a step in that direction. I think he can and will open up more and hopefully get the help he needs, but it would take a long time of working on himself. No one can ''fix'' him but himself.

He isn't an emotionless abusive person, I don't understand where people get that from lmao. I mean look at him,

#Simon Ghost Riley #Call of Duty #Simon Riley #Modern Warfare 2 #MW2 #simon ghost riley x reader #Call of Duty Ghost #Simon Riley headcanons #John Soap Mactavish

[daralamalice]

Do you think Kaleb was sorta a momma's boy or something? What about his dad?

We'll prolly never see anything about that in the official lore, so i'll answer for my headcanon, and it's a yes. In my HC, his dad was abusive toward him and also to his mother. One day, when he was big and strong enough, he pushed back and killed his father. (Also, I don't think the art teacher was his father.) Psychopath are often described as selfish and without any compassion or sympathy for other than themselves, but it's not true. It was observed that psychopathes do feel love etc for those who they identify as their "clan". So yes, in my headcanon, Kaleb was momma's boy. He fought his father for her, and he never let anyone hurt her again. And she loved her son, even if he was an horrible person.

#apex legends #apex revenant #kaleb cross #headcanon

[polyklok]

Who couldn’t love this adorable little psychopath?

Toki Wartooth, physique/appearance

Nathan

Pickles

Skwisgaar

Murderface

22 years old, the youngest in the band! Fans will sometimes ogle over his baby face. Sometimes he likes it, sometimes it seriously annoys him.

Exactly 6 feet tall and proud of it, in a stupid way. Not proud of being tall, but proud of being exactly 6ft. Prouder than he would’ve been if he was 6’1.

160 lbs, and it’s pretty much all muscle like-

We’re all very aware that Toki is cut like a fucking gem. Pure beef.

He doesn’t even work to maintain it. It happened because of all the labor he did as a kid and just…sticks around. In fact, he hates working out!

He’s also sorta unaware of his own physique and strength, so it’s funny when he surprises himself by picking up a heavy box really easily.

He’s not allowed to take his shirt off during concerts either. The band members will sometimes remove their shirts at some point during a show, but the one time he did during his first year with Dethklok, fans went absolutely fucking wild. Like…divorce rates tripled and people rioted. Charles told him it was best to keep it on.

He’s also very scarred, and we all know why. He’s not too burdened by them, but gets really uncomfortable whenever someone points them out or he notices them in a mirror. He just tries not to think about it.

I think is hair is actually pretty frizzy when it’s natural. Sort of wavy and bouncy. He began straightening it to match Skwisgaar’s.

It usually stays straight, but during a concert, after all the head banging, it floofs back up. 

He still puts his hair up regularly, mostly during rehearsal, and will fan himself when he gets all…sweaty. He does it because he’s ‘hot’ but he has no idea just how hot he is, ya know?

When he first joined the band and started growing out his hair, Skwisgaar actually helped him. He did it while mocking him, of course, but he still showed him how to manage it easier.

Skwisgaar was also the one to take him to get his one and only left-ear piercing. Toki usually just forgets it’s there. He’ll touch his ear at random moments and get scared at the random metal before remembering.

He’s very crafty, and so he often makes his own jewelry. Just little beaded bracelets and necklaces, many of which say something along the lines of ‘brutal’, ‘bloodbath’, ‘death-dealer’, etc.

As he got older, he started to realize he looked a lot like his dad and he hated it. So it grew the mustache to sort of balance it out.

Besides Murderface, he’s the only other Dethklok member to have a tattoo. On his right wrist are the words ‘Vær selv den forandring du ønsker å se i verden’ It’s stereotypical, but he likes it, and he kisses it every single morning.

If he wasn’t famous, he would get carded very regularly. He’s got a round face and huge, innocent eyes. Babyboy. Just ignore the fact that he has killed and will again.

He takes absolutely no time for any sort of self-care routine. He owns a (very old) bar of soap and a 2-in-1 hair product ONLY. He would get insulted by even the suggestion he use face wash. And he doesn’t really need it, honestly.

He has to be CONVINCED to trim his nails to play his guitar properly, and even then, he’s usually too distracted to do it anyway. Klokateers do it for him while he sleeps.

Cannot tan for the life of him. Only burns. Instantly.

He’s usually fine with wearing whatever is given to him, but if it’s his choice, he really like wearing other band’s merch, because it wasn’t allowed when growing up. Charles always makes sure he never goes out in public with someone else’s merchandise.

He’d smell like ivory soap and super glue. Not that bad, not terribly great. Though, he doesn’t shower as much as he probably should, cause he grew up in such a cold place where it was unnecessary to shower daily.

So soap, glue, and possibly B.O.

Essentially, he doesn’t really put that much thought into his appearance at all and it works for him!

#metalocalypse #dethklok headcanon #polyklok is real #dethklok #toki wartooth #metalocalypse toki

[commonguttersnipe]

Some more BTDPR characters if you wanna incorporate them into BTDPR:

Annie Elk (based on Anne Elk, Miss) - Leader of the MacNaughton's student debate team.........albeit a very bad leader of the MacNaughton's student debate team

Marcus and Mallory (based on the John & Graham live organ transplanters from MoL, respectively) - two """adopted""" brother-like friends who are really, REALLY into human anatomy, so much so that they're casually psychopathic about testing on animals for their "experiments" and somewhat think about testing on humans as well. (Btw, their adopted dad is a Jack Lint from the movie "Brazil"- inspired mad scientist/surgeon who is also rumoured to be an actual Patrick Bateman-like murderer who also maaaaaybe had a hand in brainwashing Marc & Mal into killing and taxidermifying their parents and siblings when they were both little toddlers in which their adopted dad pretended to be their family therapist.) But I digress.

Mara Brown (based on Mrs Brown from MoL) - the somewhat passive-aggressive and somewhat skeptical girlfriend of card making hippie student, Brennan. She and Marcus have a sorta little crush on each other, and she's also a fan of the popular Brit/American singer duo, white haired & brown haired teen singers Gregory Sellers & Harold Stills (who are both based on the Galaxy Song and Christmas in Heaven singers from MoL respectively).

What do you personally think of this and which one's your favourite and why?

Sellers and Stills. I love them.

[firelord-frowny]

yall i just read about THE WORSTTTT true crime case i have ever heard of oh my GOD oh my GOD!!!!!!!! trigger warning for murder and poop???????????

ok so. i had actually heard about the case several years ago when the boy's body still hadn't been found yet, but the boy's father was Very Suspicious, to the point where the boy's mom was sure he had something to do with his disappearance. the boy had ~vanished~ during a court-ordered visit to his father's house.

well, something today reminded me of the case, so i decided to give it a google and see if the boy's body was ever found and/or if the dad was ever charged with the crime.

the answer to both questions is yes. partial remains were found close to the father's house, and the father was arrested and charged and convicted.

so like.

the fact that a young boy was murdered by his own father is bad enough. it's horrifying. it's awful to even think about.

but the MOTIVE????

oh my god.

the MOTIVE!!!!!!!!!!

oh my GOD!!!!!

listen.

apparently.

the father killed him in a 'fit of rage' after the boy confronted him with pictures he found...

OF HIS DAD EATING SHIT IN A DIAPER??????

WHAT! THE! HELL!!!!!!

apparently the boy and his brother had found the pictures on the dad's laptop by accident some time prior??? And took pictures of it on their phones with the intention of using them as leverage against the dad in the ongoing custody battle between the dad and the mom??? which, considering that the fucking weirdo KILLED HIS OWN SON, i'd say that the boys had good reason to not want him to have custody of them!

just oh my goddddddddddddddddddddddd.

disgusting!!!

also, not that it fucking matters, but the article i read (or more like Skimmed Through With Conviction because i couldnt stomach letting my eyes linger on the words for any longer than absolutely necessary) wasn't super clear about whether the dad was eating shit "in a diaper" as in the shit is in a diaper and he's eating out of it like a plate, or if he's just eating shit in general while he's WEARING a diaper. but like. both options are somehow more disgusting than each other omfg so it doesnt even matterrrrrrr.

omfggg. i was gonna say 'can you imagine???' but no. PLEASE dont imagine!!!!

i hope he feels like a fucking nasty ass imbecile!!!

like, you're gonna go and murder your own child to try to avoid the world finding out that you're a diaper wearing, shit eating weirdo, only for the whole world to find out that you're a diaper wearing shit eating weirdo anyway! and not ONLY are you a diaper wearing shit eating weirdo, but you're a CHILD MURDERING diaper wearing shit eating weirdo!!!! disgusting!!!! sickening!!! demonic!!!!

omfg you shoulda just taken the fucking L and sat in the humiliation of having your gross kink outed to your friends and family instead of adding Child Murder to your list of disgusting things you've done!!!

like damn, people can forgive gross kinks as long as you're not hurting anybody and you're keeping it private. some people might even feel sorry for you if/when your gross kink gets outed without your consent!

but nobody forgives child murder! you fucking psychopath!!!

ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew!

they probably have him under a false identity in prison omfg people probably think he's in for shooting a taxi driver or something bc you just knooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww that the Child Murdere Who Eats Shit would not be well-liked in prison omfgggg.

i kinda sorta highkey hope he offs himself like he shoulda done in the first damn place if the thought of being outed as a shit eating weirdo was soooooooooooooooooooooooo unbearable to him.

like, don't murder your child just because YOU cant cope with your own fucking shame!

you coulda gone to therapy!

you coulda packed your shit up and skipped town and changed your name!

and as a last fucking resort you could have blown your own damn brains out in lieu of killing your son you SICK FUCK oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! im so disgusted! im so angry for the lil boy! and i hope the dad suffers every day for the rest of his life oh my goddddd. oh my GOD i hope he's miserable. i hope the shame and humiliation is neverending. if there's one thing more embarrassing than being a diaper wearing shit eater, it's being a diaper wearing shit eater who tried to keep it a secret by murdering his own child only to be found out anyway.

what a TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE reason to be murdered :( that poor boy.

#google 'mark redwine' if you want sources

[calamity-unlocked]

Transcript of Terry talking about Lark, for. uh. personal archiving purposes.

-

Terry: “And… we fucked up, I guess, because now you’re in this and you’re in it harder than we expected or wanted, and I’m sorry.”

Link: “Well, look, I don’t– I don’t think we like Willy, I think you’re gonna have to work on– Look, I think something’s going on with Scary and it’s not my place to say, but like, we don’t like Willy but we’re not down with what you guys are suggesting either. We’re not gonna kill a world. So we’re gonna figure this out, but– I don’t know. Gotta go back there and fix it.”

Terry: “Hey, I, uh… I really hope you do. And honestly? I’m kinda rooting for you guys – don’t tell Lark that you said that.”

Normal: “Why not? What is– What, what do you mean?”

Terry: “Lark will do whatever it takes to get rid of the Doo– like, like your uncle’s a complicated guy, he’s a– he’s a good guy in general, but he is gonna do whatever it takes to make sure that the Doodler doesn’t… win, and if you try to get between him and that, it’s… he’ll go– he’ll get weird.”

Normal: “Okay?”

Terry: “He’s not gonna hurt you! Like, don’t get me wrong, but like… I don’t know. I don’t– I don’t wanna speak on your– on your uncle’s behalf.”

Normal: “Well, I’m gonna take a shot on something here. You seem conflicted, like we are, about all of this.”

Terry: “Yes.”

Normal: “Can you think of anything else we can do, any clues we can chase, anyone we might even be able to talk to, to find a third way to figure this out? Because both of these options suck! They’re terrible! I got this psychopath line to us, and then we’ve got you guys, who we like, but you’re doing all this crazy–”

Taylor: “With a track record of shit!”

Normal: “You know, it’s ju– it’s just more death and destruction. There has to be another way. Like, is there anyone we could talk to, did anyone– from when you were a kid, in this world that you remember that might have some information that could help us?”

Terry: “There are… definitely some people we knew. Their opinions of us are not what they once were, and maybe it’ll be different for you. Maybe you’ll have a better time talking to them. But what could be worthwhile is, a long time ago, we and our dads, went to this place called the– the Church of the Doodler. And it was basically a– sort of a monastery-type place for people to try to worship the Doodler, and try to talk to him and stuff like that. And while we were there, we found out what the Doodler wanted. Or, Lark found out what the Doodler wanted. Lark was the only one willing to put his mind at risk to sorta go into the Doodler’s brain, figure out what its goal was. It was like a physicalized thing, you could sorta bring it out– when he– when he did, he, ah, smashed it immediately and said that we had to kill the Doodler at all costs. Maybe if you go there, you can find out how to kill it. If it’s got the information inside of it of what it wanted, it probably also knows, y’know, what it’s scared of. So, that’s… what I would recommend. Lark told us to never go back there, ever again, no matter what, so we didn’t, because Lark is kinda scary and he’s sorta– knows what he’s talking about, but, if I we’re you, that’s what I would do.”

#dndads #dndads spoilers #dungeons and daddies #lark oak #terry jr #normal oak #i have *so* many thoughts #on all of it. #the 'he'll get weird' #the 'he's a good guy in general' #the 'he's not gonna hurt you! but... i don't know' #and of course the fact that HE WENT INTO THE DOODLERS BRAIN

[xshazxx]

Wait so the dad has a relationship with his adopted son ??

Okay so the dad is like 17 when he adopts the first kid and has 6 by 31. Then he meets Aiden, who is 17 at the time. And Aiden isn't a psychopath but he is like stone cold killa; so Thomas -the dad- takes him in but by the time he's 18 he's like nope not one of your kid. So they have more of a mentor relationship; but Thomas sorta always denied himself of love and what not but they obviously have the hots for each other.

So while the sons see Aiden as their brother. Thomas does not see him as a son. He was 'adopted' but he denounced Thomas' last name.

Sooooo 😌

[stark-strange-love2]

Ngl I’m in love with every member of the blight family

#Yes even the sociopath mom 😭 #and the sorta psychopath dad #amity blight #blight industries #edric and emira #odelia blight #alador blight #the owl house #toh

[heckolve]

.

#im trying to figure out how i characterized my warrior ocs bc i sorta?? forgot?? #also i dont make serial killer psychopath ocs anymore chavvot is wack #rose is fun though hes p lowkey hes just tired and like 'guess i gotta go murder now' and sad #they arent a functional family 😌 #ik you guys dont know my wc ocs but i wanna talk abt them anyways :((( #rose escapes back to rc thinking he killed his brother and then he hears chav had kids and hes like FUCK #sheep's entire family is royalty but its a mess n everyone is like 'ur dad is young and hot thats weird also wheres ur mom' #n hes like :)))) #his read dad is a fucking shc medicine cat and his mom is a tc cat whos the daughter of the leader #and he had like 6 siblings who were sent off to other clans to cover it up #half of his family are leaders deputies or mcs in tc and wc so like his whole family tree is. illegal. hes having a rough time #so hes a Little bitchy about that #but he's trying to be a good sport abt it and likes his adoptive dad and hes tc and shc blood so he's pathetic in rc but hes. hes trying #this is the shit that comes about in warrior rp groups i guess cause that shit would never fly in the books lskjdlkfjdkj #its. ridiculous :( but its so fun remembering it god #i had ocs in...... 2 '''''royal'''' families. which are basically just families of popular rpers/ocs/highranks that were Solid family trees #and i was SO excited about that i thought i was so cool that they gave me a kit in a royal family #sheep was 1 and the other was kestrel #his family was less ''''''royal''''' but it had a lot of respected rc senior warriors in it #ok sorry abt talking about my fucking. warrior ocs but im having so much fun :( #thinking about all the interconnected relationships of my ocs n other peoples ocs like. i was apart of that??? #it was such a big chunk of my life involved with that community and it makes me so nostalgic #im remembering all my old friends and :(((( #OK ill shut up #ksdjfksjdkj #i drew chavvot in my sketchbook and he actually looks like. yknow. a cat. so thats a Start #rant

[love-me-a-lotta-whump]

이리와 안아줘 - Come and Hug Me - Whumplist - 🇰🇷

Whumpee: 채도진 (Chae Do Jin)/윤나무 (Yoon Na Moo) played by 장기용 (Jang Ki Yong)

Synopsis: When Do-Jin (Jang Ki-Yong) and Jae-Yi (Jin Ki-Joo) were high school students, they were each other's first love. Do-Jin's father Hee-Jae (Heo Jun-Ho) was a psychopath and killed Jae-Yi's parents. Do-Jin and Jae-Yi were separated afterwards. Now, Do-Jin works as a detective. He treats the victim's family with care. This is his way of atoning for his father's horrific act. Meanwhile, Jae-Yi works as an actress. She followed in the footsteps of her late mother who was a famous actress. They meet again as adults, not yet having gotten away from their pasts. (AWiki)

Genre: Cop/Crime, Romance, Mystery, Thriller

Watch On: Viki, KissAsian, DramaCool

💜: This one is FULL of emotional and physical whump!!! Not only that but 장기용 (Jang Ki Yong) has some of the best puppy eyes in kdrama history!

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW

1.01 : talking about his scars, traumatic flashbacks (crying, shaking, talking about his father being a killer), splashing water in his face to calm himself, people talking about him "behind his back"

1.02 : (flashbacks: pushed by a teacher multiple times, exhausted, scared)

1.03 : (flashbacks: scared, cut hand, puts himself between his dad and her, hand bandaged, talks about dead birth mother, scared)

1.04 : none

1.05 : (flashbacks: nearly slapped, emotional), crying, sweaty, heavy breathing, hurt wrist, wrapped wrist

1.06 : wrapped wrist, (flashbacks: scared, threatened, cuts on his face) opens his eyes after traumatic flashbacks, (flashbacks: covered in blood, curled up, crying)

1.07 : concerned for love interest, (flashbacks: traumatic memories, squaring up to his serial killer father, "I'm good at getting beat up."), angry, nearly hit by a car to protect someone

1.08 : splashing water on his face to calm down, (flashbacks: curled up on the ground after his father's attack, crying, bloody, visibly traumatized, made to promise he wouldn't die), hallucinations, punched a mirror, hallucinations, crying, bloody badly bandaged hand

1.09 : emotional

1.10 : eggs thrown at him, shocked, manhandled, thrown to the ground, scratched face, crying, emotional, was going to allow a guy to punch him, manhandled, love interest concerned for him, manhandled, struggling to walk, uses a fellow tree (sorry) for support, holds his stomach, bends over in pain, crying, punched, angry, bruised face, his mom cares after him, crying, bent over sobbing, blood on a white shirt, stumbling while bleeding out, sweating, uneven breathing

1.11 : moves and irritates an old stab wound, bandaged hand, sleeping, slashed in the stomach, blood on a white shirt, fought, blood running down his pants, wrapped hand, in pain, concern for him, stumbled to a chair, immediately passed out

1.12 : blood all over his white shirt, woke up in a hospital bed, painfully tried to get up, sorta collapsed onto the bed, fell asleep, woken up, walking with an IV, bent over in pain, in shock, in an emotionally distressed state looking for love interest, hit in the thigh with a gurney, collapsed, still frantically looking for love interest, leaning against a post while in pain, bleeding again, concern for him, looked after, concerned mom, "Mom? Can you hold me for a little while?", crying, old trauma brought up

1.13 : (flashbacks: throwing up, bloody nose from stress, shaking hand, crying), bends over in pain, old trauma brought up, (flashbacks: cut lip, pinned up against a wall), encouraged a criminal to stab him

1.14 : emotional, worried for love interest

1.15 : worried for love interest, hyperventilating, crying, (flashbacks: hit in the head with a hammer), crying, holding in the pain of his brought up trauma, sleeping, love interest goes to stroke his cheek while he slept but woke him up to grab her wrist in fear, emotional, crying, emotional

1.16 : his older brother comes at him with a hammer, sorta fought

1.17 : fought (emotional during the fight), crying, guilty, thrown multiple times, stabbed, collapsed, bleeding out, heavily lidded eyes, heavy breathing, found by love interest, passed out in her arms, love interest puts pressure on the wound, (flashbacks: hit in the head with a hammer, emotional), dying on the operation table, (in the ICU: sleeping in a hospital bed (nose cannula), woke up in the hospital bed (nose cannula), worried loved ones, tired, weak, asleep, worried loved one), worried loved ones, (ICU: fever nightmare)

1.18 : sleeping in a hospital bed (regular room), emotional (rlly sweet though), angry, walking with his IV, leaning on a door, heavy breathing, emotional

1.19 : still in the hospital, emotional, puppy eyes, crying, painfully getting out of bed, holding his wound, pulling his IV out, leaning against the wall, heavy breathing, weak, sweating, back in the hospital, looked after

1.20 : anxious, emotional, crying

1.21 : emotional, crying

1.22 : traumatic memories, in shock, traumatic memories surface, zoning out, concern for him, anxious, zoning out, traumatic memories, scared, emotional, teary-eyed, concerned for him, fought, intimidating someone

1.23 : fought, intimidating someone, fought, using himself as a human shield, protecting someone, hit in the shoulder with a hammer, stumbling, touched on his injured shoulder, wincing, concern for him, hugged, wincing (trying to hide his pain), concern for him, told to lie down, interrogating someone (it’s not whump but it was so hot, y’all)

1.24 : protecting someone (again it was really hot), angry, concerned for someone

1.25 : emotional, blaming himself, comforted, teary-eyed, crying, traumatic flashbacks, (flashbacks: stabbed, shaky breathing, sacrificing himself)

1.26 : anxious, concern for him, “I’m filled with anxiety.”, comforted, angry, protecting someone, fought, arm cut, zoned out, arm treated, concern for him, held, concerned for someone, scared, shaky breathing, crying, sobbing, grieving (chief mourner), angry, locked himself in a cell, losing control (angry)

1.27 : angry, locked himself in a cell, losing control (angry)

1.28 : asleep, concerned for someone, crying, nightmare, scared, sweating, comforted

1.29 : concerned for someone

1.30 : concerned for someone, scared, protective, stressed, concern for him, angry, manhandled (mild)

1.31 : angry, concerned for someone, manhandled (Mild), defiant, angry, (traumatic flashbacks), fought, hit, thrown, threatened, using himself as a human shield, hit, fought, choked

1.32 : emotional

-------

MORE WHUMP LISTS >>> {x}

Want to see more from 장기용 (Jang Ki Yong)? Check him out in My Roommate is a Gumiho >>> {x}

Note: This one is another LONG work in progress, hence the lack of ::: between scenes. Nevertheless, I hope y’all enjoy!

NOTE

#whump list #whumplist #asianwhump #asian whump #come and hug me #이리와 안아줘 #kwhump #kdrama

[mrpenguinpants]

Genshin: Roommate HCs [V1]

To be honest, I just wanted to ramble some more and let my brainworms take over. This is sorta late but Happy Valentine’s everyone! I was gonna post this earlier but this honestly took me a long time to write so I moved it to today. 

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. Seriously, as much as I love writing this non-serious fics. Why do you people like this?

—

Based off my ramblings with Keqing anon: Link

Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @kaechu @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife​  @dokidokisama @rokipersonal​@minakohasmanyhusbandos​ @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess​ @yuu-yuukurotsuki​ @hanniejji​  @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii​ @stanzastic @akaasea​ @xoneaboveallx​ @adoring-ghost​ @asheseiler​ @childelover​ @dilucsz​ @dai-tsukki-desu​ @thicmitten​ @nonniechan​ @htnicayh​ @genshins1mpact​ 

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Diluc

What? Diluc has a roommate? Did you blackmail him in living with you? Is that even possible? Did you throw yourself in front of his car because you needed someone to pay for your student loans and the easiest way was to file a lawsuit? In this economy no one would blame you. Diluc seems like such the self-isolated character that would murder his roommate in cold blood but in reality, he act’s detached from the world because he forgot how to socialize and he’s desperately trying to cover it up without choking. That or he’s trying to learn how to astral project. If he could drink away the pain he would but instead he buys 20 packs of grape Kool-Aid and injects it into his veins. 

Does not and will not ever have a normal sleeping schedule. You’ll wake up to him working, come back home to him working, and will sleep to him still working. His daily dose of Vitamin D is from the brightness of his screen rather than the sun and he’s filter feeding at this point. It’s concerning. He’s going to crumble and he’s bringing the world down with him. Through the power of tax evasion. But as soon as he needs to walk out into society, he pulls movie magic and looks like perfection. It’s both physically and mentally disgusting. 

He’s actually is a really nice roommate to have just so long as you give him space. Great cook and knows to clean up after himself. Though he does have crash and burn days where’s he’s completely out of commission. You could set the entire apartment on fire and he would sleep through it. The entire two weeks are dedicated to zombie eye marathons and then he’ll suddenly collapse and sleep for 46 hours straight. When he wakes up from his hibernation he’s the most groggy and nonsensical person. His life blood is coffee because you keep hiding the 5 hour energy away from him because, you know, life is enjoyable and those cancer bottles will actually kill him.  

“University sucks our money out of our bodies faster than our will to live.” 

Beidou [Happy Birthday Queen 💕]

Despite her appearance, she’s actually really strong and it scares the piss out of you when you’re doing something or scrolling through your phone mindlessly and you suddenly get your spine re-arranged when she slaps you on the back to ask what you’re doing. Likewise, when she hoists you up and throws you over her shoulder so you come with her on her 3am convivence store raids for alcohol. It’s either you change now or else we’re walking out of the apartment in your t-shirt and no pants self. She can and will carry you under her arm that way. It’s both incredibly attractive and horrifying at the same time. 

She’s really friendly and a great talker if you’re alright with her “I must hold you in my arms, fresh prince of bel air style”. It doesn’t matter if you’re taller than her, she’s doing it. She does however, get in a bit of trouble from her rowdiness and you often get noise complaints but Beidou just passes them off to Ningguang and everything is fixed. She has ovaries of steel when neighbors rather confront her personally and she’s ready to 1v1 in the parking lot. You’re trying to desperately hold onto her shirt to stop her from pile driving your neighbors for the third time this week but she’s too strong.  

She’s constant party until we die attitude and suffers the hangover in the morning. It’s actually really funny to catch her in her hangover moods because whatever filter Beidou had, which is none, is gone. She really takes “cursing like a sailor” or the next level and the amount of creativity she comes up with is actually impressive. She can be a bit messy but she’s really likeable and always down to go anywhere with you as long as you’ll do the same. It’s a very ride together, we die together situation. You’re my best friend, you’re dying with me. I’ll see you in hell. 

“Imma T pose over my dad and then crash the car into the parking garage.” 

Kaeya

Kaeya on the surface seems like such a chill roommate. And he is for the most part. But he’s such an ass. Your things are his things, no questions asked. If you just bought a really nice sweater or you had leftover food, that’s his now. He’s innocent until proven guilty even if he’s literally holding your lunch. The pure amount of bullshit he can spit out to convince you that no, he did not pull the fire alarm because he wanted an excuse for not going to work, puts him on Shakespeare level. He’s also very pretty, way too pretty, sir can you share some of your genes? 

But aside from that, he’s actually super dependable. You forgot something at home? Sure, he has nothing better to do so he can bring them for you. We’re missing eggs? No problem, he’s just by the store. You’re 95% sure that he just wants to be cheeky and make you thank him for 20 minutes before he actually hands you what you asked for. It’s better for you if you never tell him anything you’re afraid of because Kaeya has no social cues, or more like he throws them out the window, and he’s probably a psychopath. 

He’s incredibly private of his room and things despite his attitude towards yours. You’re convinced he either has a secret lab or that’s where he’s storing the bodies. I was the good guy but due to unfortunate circumstances, I need to stab a bitch. But he’s a really good serious talker for those 3am, because everything happens at 3am, talks about life and the meaning of the universe. It absolutely wrecks your sleep schedule but some of the things you talk about are the most crackhead things like what’s the lowest amount of money someone would have to pay you to walk outside without clothes? It’s a legitimate question. 

“Never before have I been so offended with something I 100% agree with.”

Jean

Okay, what world did you save in a past life to live with his absolutely wonderful woman? Mother Teresa take a load off, take a seat. You have nothing to worry about. She’ll bring home little treats back home and it’s the most wholesome thing ever?? Is this what love and affection feels like? We’ve been starved for so long. She says it’s not a big deal and anyone would do it BUT THE MOMENT SOMEONE BUYS FOOD FOR YOU. IT’S A MAGICAL MOMENT. They are forever stuck in your will until proven otherwise. An absolute ray of sunshine that must be protected. 

She does get super busy so you don’t often see each other or get to hang out as much. She’s a bit of a workaholic but a lot more easier to talk her into taking a break. She’s also a pretty decent cook but she prefers baking and jesus christ, girl can you calm down? Be still my beating heart, I’ve been smitten. Has mother hen vibes that you’re not sure if she’s your roommate or if she adopted you into her family. It’s time to start a petition for the Jean protection squad. Given the opportunity, I would aggressively hold your hand. 

She’s always open to whatever you want to do. Any recommendations or things that you like she will try out at least once despite her busy schedule. She’s lowkey lonely because work consumes her so any time you want to hang out or do something together, she jumps on it like she’s feral. She get’s a bit shy to ask if she can join in on your plans because she doesn’t want to bother you or intrude no matter how many times you tell her that’s okay, she still get’s a bit iffy about it. Please save this girl before she trips. In your arms. Platonically. Just kidding haha. Unless?

“I can’t wait to see you happy and not hating everyone again haha.”

Childe

First impressions of Childe were great, until he opened his mouth and you realized how much of a two brain cell child(e) he was. He has two braincells because they constantly have to 1v1 in his brain. He’s lived with a lot of siblings so he has no social awareness or concept of privacy that you’re lucky if you come home and he’s half-dressed. It doesn’t matter if you’re 2 weeks older than him, he’s going to call you 82 years old and why your bones aren’t being fossilized at this point. He’s such a little shit, this fucker licks the yogurt lid peel.  

He get’s really restless when he’s stuck under house arrest, because apparently 1v1ing in the parking lot of a Wendy’s is illegal for some reason, so he makes dying whale noises until he get’s to go outside again. But he’s actually a really wholesome guy, probably because of his younger siblings, that he’ll sometimes get you something because you seemed down and it’s such whiplash? Who is this man and where did he come from? You’re starting to have a change of heart before he tells you that he got banned from the library for accidently punching the school’s computer. How you “accidently” punch something you have no idea but Childe always comes home with some sort of injury. Maybe he’s just incredibly clumsy. For your sanity, you’re going to go with that. 

He’s actually so uncultured that it’s crippling. You can’t blame him too much considering his upbringing and it’s great that he’s so interested in learning new things but...child no...It makes you want to take your spine out of your ass and rip it like a Beyblade. Watching him take chopsticks and stab his food like it’s marshmallows makes you want to fall into a blackhole and let the chair consume you. 

“I, too, fantasize about beating the living shit out of people.”

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Is this another tag yourself game cause I resonate with Diluc. I’m crying in insomnia. As much as I enjoy writing these fics I absolutely hate tagging them. I remember I used to have a tag anon but that was back when I wrote for bnha. 

Valentine’s Day was fun tho. I had a drinking game with friends as we played league then ended it off with a movie night. 

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin fanfic #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin crack #genshin impact crack #genshin impact childe #childe x reader #genshin childe x reader #genshin impact diluc #diluc x reader #genshin diluc x reader #genshin impact beidou #beidou x reader #genshin beidou x reader #genshin impact jean #genshin jean x reader #jean x reader #genshin impact kaeya #kaeya x reader #genshin kaeya x reader

[series-and-movies]

Rafe Cameron - character analysis

(This post contains mentions of OBX s2 scenes, panic/anxiety, drugs and psychopathy. If you do not want/feel comfortable reading this, please don't! Also if you're anti rafe don't hate me please xoxo)

I've seen so many people call Rafe a psychopath/sociopath and honestly I don't think he is one. Other than the fact that psychopaths are rarely potrayed accurately in media and people not knowing the right terminology (even Drew himself has said that Rafe has psychopathic tendencies which, arguably, makes some sense). But from what I've seen so far, Rafe doesn't seem like a psychopath.

Why?

Because psychopaths feel no remorse or shame for their actions. Rafe has expressed those feelings multiple times, albeit not always verbally. He clearly feels regret for getting his family in this situation, and I don't believe that's just to please his dad.

Psychopaths also do not care about others and feel no connection to them, which leads to lying, manipulating, superficial charm to get what they want etc. Now, Rafe has lied a good few times, and definitely manipulates Barry to do shit for him in return for money. But he's not completely emotionless. He cares about his dad and Wheezie, he's often seen showing vulnerable emotions, which a psychopath would not do unless it gains them something. Also, his friendship with Kelce and Topper seemed genuine until he started losing it for real. The fact that he doesn't have many friends could also be due to his drug use, anxiety (being suspicious of others) or any other reason, and is not directly attributable to psychopathy.

They also generally do not learn from mistakes and do not have anxiety (although the latter is still controversial in current understandings of psychopathy). Clearly Rafe has some anxiety issues. Anytime he starts losing it (eg. s1 when Barry said he owned him now, s2 when he punched the wall in the island room) he starts breathing heavily, looking around sorta dazed/scared with those wide eyes, fidgets with his fingers. That to me seems like he's on the verge of a panic attack. And to dissolve that he starts screaming/punching things (or using drugs lol). Obviously that's bad coping, but it's not all violent tendencies. Also from season 2, clearly he's learned at least a bit from his mistakes.

Rafe truly believes he's doing the right thing. At least from his/his family's perspective, he tries to do the right thing. Now since his dad is Ward, clearly what benefits his family doesn't benefit everyone, but it seems like Rafe has a bit of tunnel vision in that sense. Even when he killed Peterkin, he immediately showed moral disengagement. Rafe STRUGGLES with the fact he killed someone. He doesn't ENJOY hurting others! He doesn't want to feel even worse about himself, so he tries to talk it right and make himself believe he did the right thing. Saying he saved his dad, saying Sarah was tearing their family apart. It's justifying behaviour to not feel miserable about his actions. A psychopath doesn't do this because they're so unemotional they don't even feel bad about what they did.

And lastly, (and i do truly hate myself for saying this), but usually psychopaths have a very prominiscious sex life. I know yall dirties wanna see Drew do a sex scene (mood.) but the fact that he doesn't seem to have any sort of sex/dating life seems contradictory to this.

The only reason rafe could be seen as a psychopath is because he truly believes the pogues deserve to get hurt, abuses drugs which occurs often in psychopaths and he's impulsive with little to no behavioural control. But these could be attributed to other issues as well.

Other than that, evidence of psychopathy is pretty much nonexistent. And it irks me that people call him a psychopath and think that therefore he does not deserve a redemption arc because 1. CLEARLY there is something wrong with him but it doesn't mean he can't grow and learn and heal? He's said multiple times that he needs and wants help, he wants to get clean, he didn't shoot the pogues when he had a chance to. He KNOWS something's wrong. He KNOWS he needs to change. Just because he's not capable of doing it on his own doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a redemption arc. OBX would be a real one if they show some good and realistic therapy scenes ! And 2. let's say he does show signs of psychopathy in s3, that still doesn't mean he can't get better? Psychopathy treatments are scarce and don't always work irl, but they're out there and it's worth a shot. I've seen people saying they want him to die, but if this were a real person, would you say the same? Even if he is a psychopath, he's still a victim of his circumstances, his environment, genetics and his dad. Take those factors out, would he not be capable of redemption?

Point being: Rafe is not a psychopath, he seems more anxious, possibly with vulnerable narcissistic tendencies, paranoid personality or psychosis, and severe attachment and drugs problems. He is not in itself a bad person, and for season 3 they need to give him a stable environment and hopefully give him some time/tools to heal. Lord knows he needs it.

#yall can disagree with this respectfully if ya want #idk im obsessed with rafe bc hes so complicated and has so many dimensions to him #not often are characters portrayed like this and drew is just the best #but yeah i would love for him to get a redemption arc #like i dont want him to become a pogue or do the right thing or whatever in some sort of dramatic reveal #i want him to come to terms with what he did #acknowledge it was bad #but still move on with his life! and become clean! #Hopefully find some ppl who wont betray him and truly have his back #as long as he does the same #and yeh maybe im biased bc i do enjoy a good redemption arc #think loki/bucky sort of #idk #also this is just my opinion/analysis of rafe this doesn't mean it should be taken at face value or that you have to agree with me !! #rafe cameron #drew starkey #character analysis #i should do more of these i love a good complex character analysis

[arkus-rhapsode]

Bnha chap 302 was crazy! So many stuff have been revealed! What did u think of it?

(So before I start, I just want to say, sorry it took me a few days to answer this. when discussion recent chapters of MHA, I’m trying now to wait for the official release before posting anything. I know I haven’t always been the best when using scans vs official releases, but I’m going to try and make this more a  thing. Given some flack I’ve received in the past, as well as recent crack downs by shueisha. So you can send me asks like this, please I’m not discouraging it. but you’re just going to have to wait till after the official releases.)

With the preamble out of the way OH MY GOD! This flashback chapters are amazing! Like this has been the kind of stuff I’ve been waiting for in MHA after the metric crap ton of build up by Horikoshi. And its not disappointed.

First, I do likeEndeavor’s gradual decline into is asshole self from Shoto’s memory. It’s vocally recognized that Endeavor is breaking societal taboos with his Quirk Marriage. Not only his selfish wishes to have an ultimate child to surpass All Might, but Toya is basically one of the worst combinations of this selective breeding. Being that he has stronger fire than Endeavor, but he has resistance to cold temperature so he’s just burning his body.

Yet Endeavor still is more focused on surpassing All Might. And when he comes to the realization that Toya will never surpass All Might, he decides to make a his real ultimate child. Now the reason I like this is because this isn’t Endeavor just being like “I need to surpass All Might with the perfect child”, its also, “I need to create my ideal child which will surpass All Might and act as a deterrent to Toya wanting to be a hero.”

Now, I love this scene, not just because no matter how Endeavor tries to justify his actions, he is still ultimately breaking societal conventions just to selfishly surpass his rival. But it also shows, Endeavor is aware of Toya’s feelings. He KNOWS Toya won’t stop trying to be a hero. He’s not some ignorant to his son wanting to live up to his dream of the ultimate hero. But his plan to stop Toya is not altruistic. It’s still selfish. His plan is literally to make an actually superior child, just to get his son to give e up. Its probably the worst thing you can do.

And most recently in 302, when that doesn’t work and Toya still burns himself and tries to attack Shoto. Endeavor finally just decides to no longer deal with this. personally. He is leaving Toya to Rei and is just going to focus on Shoto. He’s pushing a problem onto someone else and NOW he’s just ignoring it.

And then he just doubles down worse from there. Actually becoming more of the abuser that Shoto and Natsuo remember. All because Rei couldn’t keep Toya in line. Even though Toya was his son too.

It’s been awhile since we have seen Endeavor as the antagonistic figure. And I know the story of Endeavor will always be a tough one because its ultimately one trying to redeem an abuser. And I like that in this flashback, we are really reminded of why Endeavor wants atonement, because what he did to his family was wrong. And now we’re actually seeing it. Hell, some of it is more uncomfortable because we now see, its not like Endeavor was so pure evil psychopath, he gradually slipped from some wrong-headed jerk who was breaking taboos who is aware he’s doing bad things but pushing forward to ignoring his problems he’s caused to finally lashing out at his family as if it’s not also his responsibility. 

And we see a man who is regretful. But he still made mistakes. And I like that this hasn’t just been for the audience, this has been for Endeavor. Because he can no longer keep those skeletons in his closet nor is he in a position to throw himself a pity party. Again, we still have to wait a few chapters before we see like how this pays off. But Rei is reminding him that if he really wants to make things better and prove he’s a better person, then let’s start by getting his house in order.

Speaking of Rei, this has been a pretty interesting character study for her as well. We see Rei as pretty much a passive player both in the series up to this point being in a hospital, but also in this flashback. She agrees to be Enji’s wife and while she’ll speak up, she doesn’t stop Endeavor from having more kids. Nor does she stop him from really separating the kids. She also brings it up that like Endeavor, she didn’t really “see” what was really going on with Toya.

While Endeavor may have thought a deterrent of making him Toya give up would work, Rei try to just talk to Toya about looking beyond his father, but its not just wanting his father’s attention that is driving Toya mad. Its the fact that his birth was solely to make an ultimate Quirk users and if he’s not then his whole creation is pointless.

Because at he core, she is still complacent with this arrangement. From her family to the fact that when she can’t actually stand up to Enji, she then starts lashing out at the children who remind her of them. She has hurt her children too and its wrong. But unlike Endeavor who is really now just trying to come to grips with that, Rei has clearly stewed in that self loathing for a while. And now, she’s not being passive, she’s now taking a stand and being the one who needs to pull Endeavor out of his own self-pity.

Its very nice to see this character who, like Endeavor, has transformed over the course of this union.  

Now what does this mean for their marriage? As this seems to be the root cause of here passivity. I’m not sure. But Hori has given me no reason to think he’ll do something crazy with it. So I’m going to wait and see.

Now onto the man himself, Toya. Man finding out about Dabi has been a trip. Because at first it seems like he just wants his dad’s attention. To be proud of him. But its more than just that. Toya has a fire in him that won’t go out.

Toya’s “fire” isn’t this drive to be number 1 hero and get the glory. Its literally the validation of his existence. Because he was made to surpass All Might. If Toya can’t do that, then he failed at his existence. 

It really pulls back that Dabi doesn’t hate Endeavor because of abuse like Rei, Shoto and Natsuo. Dabi hates Endeavor because he was born solely to fulfill his mission, and when he was physically incapable of doing so, he replaced him with a child who could. It hurts to watch.

Because Dabi will never get over the fact of why he’s here in the first place, I think a lot of kids when they get older have that realization about why they’re here is because of their parents. And Toya can literally trace why his father made him. As he recalled with Snatch.

Just contemplating his family and why he’s here. He lost it.

We also get some cool details on Dabi’s powers. With his flames growing even stronger from red to blue, but also that the burns around his chest that we first saw in his video is intentionally so he could both hide the burns but also avoid hurting him.

There’s also the fact that his flames are tied to his emotions. Probably why whenever we see Dabi he’s mostly irate and disinterested. But when he finally had to get infront of Endeavor and the world, Dabi lets all his emotions come out. Letting him use flash fire and be wary more gleeful in his destruction. Yet we see that any times he cranks up his emotions, he always starts crying. Like he did with Snatch and Hawks. Which is such a subtle touch that I love.

There’s also his unique resentment towards the women in his family more than Natsuo. Now Endeavor we know he clearly hates, but when it came to Natsuo, he ignored him. But he knew Rei and Fuyumi the longest, and they did nothing for the longest time.

We also see the beginning of Dabi’s use of faux concern about society and using it as a way to turn people on Endeavor. 

Dabi has stated he doesn’t care about the League of Villains. Even in his big speech about how its Endeavor’s fire that let him kill people, he knows that’s a lie too. He would talk about confiding in his beloved brother, but if it meant making his dad suffer, he would’ve killed him.

Dabi’s hate is for one man, and if he can use anything to make Endeavor’s existence a living hell, he’ll use it. And we see that his hate is justified, but he will wrap that hate in a way to get others to feel like him. Its very effective.

Its just nice to see a villain who gets a bunch of build up LIVE up to all his hype. Its not like a let down, its just opening more doors to explore.

And now we get to the Todoroki family. Where do we go from here? Well Dabi isn’t just an Endeavor problem or a Rei problem, its a family problem. They all share the burden and Dabi will be their goal.

And I like this because, for the most part, Shoto completed his arc in the Sports Festival of hating his dad, but then accepting this is his power and looking beyond Enji. And while that wasn’t the end as he still has to make his choice on wether to accept his dad as a changed man or not, that’s more part of Endeavor’s goal. Shoto has been sorta like Deku and Bakugo with a focus on being number 1.

But now he has real and true personal motivation that no one but this family can really address and I am excited. I’m glad that the prominent characters of this series like Shoto has something to do. I get that all the kids in UA will never truly get this treatment. They have focus, but they are still mainly supporting cast. But having a main character really be able to justify why they’re up in front is great. I’m eager to see what awaits the Todoroki family in the future.

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #my hero academia 302 #my hero academia 301 #mha 302 #mha 301 #bnha 301 #bnha 302 #my hero academia chapter 302 #Todoroki family #shoto todoroki #todoroki shoto #endeavor #bnha endeavor #dabi #toya todoroki #dabi touya #rei todoroki #natsuo todoroki #fuyumi todoroki #all might #league of villains #touya todoroki #enji todoroki

[there-must-be-a-lock]

Fine Lines - Part 1/4

The fourth installment of Coffee & Psychopaths, my Criminal Minds x Supernatural crossover!  

Word Count: 4,123 

Warnings: Canon-non-compliant open and healthy discussions of mental illness and trauma recovery. Canon-compliant scenes of Lucifer being an asshole. Mentions of blood, because Sam’s palm injury thingy.   

A/N: I rewrote two of the weaker arcs from CM and SPN: the Maeve and Amelia storylines. This is about those relationships, in a way, but mostly it’s about the boys and their attachment patterns. 

The previous installments of this series tend to crash the tumblr app when I open them on my phone, so I figured I’d break it up a bit! Posting the next part in a couple days. You do not need to read the rest of this series to understand anything that’s happening here. 

Massive thanks to @fangirlxwritesx67​ and @stunudo​, who helped me with brainstorming, inspiration, and editing! A few ideas for this sprang from conversations I had with Viv about her series Cry No More, particularly Chapter 5, and Stu has been ridiculously supportive of this series from the beginning, and this would not be what it is without either of them. 

This fills my Season 8 square for @cmbingo​! 

is it possible to love a human being? of course, especially if you don’t know them too well.

Charles Bukowski

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

“Hey, doc. This is Dean. Uh… Dean Winchester. Sam’s brother. Sam’s not doin’ so hot, and — it’s complicated. He’s in a psych ward in Indiana. I’m kinda — kinda fresh outta ideas here, but. I don’t know. Give me a call back when you get a second.” 

Dean seems surprised, when Spencer says he’ll be there soon. He almost argues, tells Spencer he’s got it covered, but even he can’t hide how scared he is. 

The hospital puts up a token protest about Spencer visiting, but he flashes his badge and emphasizes his title, implying that he wants to observe Sam for science, and then it’s just a matter of Sam’s permission. Easy enough. 

Dean walks him down the hall to Sam’s room. This place is everything Spencer feared, when he realized his mom needed more care than he could give. The walls are grey and the lights are flickering yellow, and if you asked a sane person, they might say that this is what insanity feels like. 

“I suppose you didn’t consider sending him to a psychologist after he, you know, got back from hell,” Spencer says flatly, as they walk. 

“Are you friggin’ kidding me?” 

“Well, did he at least talk to you? What has he said about it?” 

Dean purses his lips. Spencer remembers one of the first things Sam ever said to him: ‘My family’s not big on talking.’ 

It doesn’t surprise him when Dean says, “We’ve sorta had our hands full, in case you didn’t notice. Evil doppelgängers and all. Excuse the fuck out of me for not stopping to talk about our feelings.” 

Spencer sighs and says, “So you were both just pretending it wasn’t happening until he got hit by a car.” 

“Look, sometimes that’s the job,” Dean says grimly. “Sometimes you just gotta… repress shit and keep going. And in case you hadn’t noticed, Sammy’s world-class in that department.” Dean’s mouth twists in a bitter half-smile. “Learned it from the best, I guess.” 

“Fair enough,” Spencer says. 

They’re at Sam’s door. Spencer can see him through the window; he’s lying in bed, looking down at a bandage on his hand, pressing his thumb to the center of it in a way that looks painful. 

“Look,” Dean says, voice breaking. “Will you just keep him company while I try to figure this out? There’s gotta be… something out there that can help him. But I don’t want to leave him alone here.” 

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Dean’s gone. 

Sam’s alone again, and he doesn’t know where to go. 

One way or another, his family’s been his compass for his entire life; one way or another, he’s always been running away from his dad or chasing after Dean. 

Leaving for Stanford, he put his family behind him, walked in the other direction, decided to build a life that looked nothing like what he’d known before; he sculpted from the negative space, forming himself around the voids his father had left. Then Dean pulled him back, and Sam went stumbling after him again, trailing in his wake just like he used to when they were kids playing with little green soldiers. He and Dean always come back to each other. 

But Dean’s gone. 

There’s nothing to be done. The demons he talks to don’t seem to have any idea; they say Dean’s not down in Hell, and why would he be, anyway? Dean’s just gone and Sam doesn’t know which way is up. 

Dean’s gone, and Sam’s alone. 

Sam doesn’t like to think about the last time he had to live without his brother. 

It’s terrifying, remembering the sheer enormity of what he was feeling that summer, this vast dark thing that he couldn’t begin to contain. It took over his body, flooding every part of him no matter how hard he tried to dam it up or drink it away. He couldn’t live with that much hurt inside him. He would’ve destroyed himself if it didn’t destroy him first.  

Ruby saved him, that summer, as much as he hates to admit it. Sam was lost, and she gave him a direction. 

He’s different now, though. He’s not going to self-destruct, this time. He can’t. He’s grown up since then; he’s better at taking care of himself, better at dealing with things rationally instead of letting all that anger subsume him.

He tucks it away, walls it off until he can deal with it, until he’s just numb. 

He gets in the car and starts driving. 

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

“A wall. In your head. How did that work?” 

Sam shrugs. “Magic, I guess.” 

“What did it feel like?” 

“Sort of like a scab, I guess, that I couldn’t help picking at? Even though I knew it was there for a reason. Or a bandage might be more accurate, because it was just… hiding the problem. It’s hard to explain.” 

“No, I understand,” Spencer muses. “It makes sense.” 

“Really?” 

“It’s a normal reaction to trauma, it’s just the… magic part that’s unusual.”

“What do you mean?” 

“To a certain extent, the mind has to dissociate in the wake of severe trauma. The body is so used to being in danger that it essentially re-wires the limbic system and puts you on high alert all the time, and then afterward, in order to get some distance, in order to protect you from those negative emotions, the limbic system moves in the opposite direction, deadening those fear responses. It’s a self-preservation instinct, to hide from the pain until it’s more manageable.” 

Sam glances at something next to Spencer, like he can’t help himself; he looks lost, and he looks small, somehow. He makes a visible effort to shake himself out of whatever he’s seeing, and he refocuses on Spencer. 

“What is he saying?” Spencer asks. 

“That you’re lying, and it doesn’t make any sense, and I’m crazy.” Sam rubs the bandage on his hand again. “You know. The usual.” 

Spencer frowns, looking down at his hands. “That’s what I was doing with the Dilaudid, after,” he admits. “The drugs blocked the pain, temporarily. It was like a different sort of wall. And when I stopped, it hurt all over again… and I could barely sleep for days. So maybe I understand a little too well.” 

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

A shard of tile clings stubbornly, and Sam pulls it a little too hard, impatient. It comes loose more suddenly than he anticipated and the sharp point drags down his palm, opening up a jagged cut that runs almost parallel to the old scar. 

The pain doesn’t register at first. Sam stares at it numbly as the blood starts to well up, always such a deep shocking red. The sting and throb comes a few seconds later, when the first drops of blood drip down Sam’s hand to splash on the half-demolished bathroom floor and he remembers where he is. 

“Shit,” he mutters, and gropes around, grabbing his discarded flannel from the doorknob. He wraps the sleeve around his hand a few times, cradling it close, trying to breathe. He sits very still for a minute. 

Then Sam unfolds himself from the floor and gets to his feet. He feels like he’s swimming, moving slow and clumsy as he heads outside, and it’s not until he pops the trunk that he remembers: the first aid kit is inside now. 

It’s a complete first aid kit, too — Sam’s little bag of bandages and dental floss sits on the counter next to Derek’s big, official-looking one. The house is Derek’s; one of his projects, an investment, but the team’s been so busy he’s barely done any work on it. 

Spencer was the one who suggested it, when Sam showed up in DC with little warning and even less explanation; at first he tried to get Sam to crash on his couch, but Sam flat-out refused. 

“Dude, you wouldn’t even share a hotel room for a night. No offense, but I like you, and I want to keep liking you,” he said firmly. “I don’t think that’ll happen if I have to live with your neuroses 24/7.” 

Spencer didn’t even pretend to take offense. “Yeah, fair enough.” 

But when Sam said something about finding an abandoned house to set up camp in, Spencer made a phone call. Derek’s latest project was a mess, and he kept warning Sam that he intended to take out entire walls and make it a whole lot worse before it got better. 

“Are you sure you want to live like that?” 

“I’m used to it, really. Won’t be here long. And I can help, in exchange.” 

“I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse, for starters, but also, you don’t have to do that.”  

“I think I could use something to keep my hands busy, you know? Might need it.” 

When Derek realized Sam knew what he was doing, he offered to pay him a little, if he wanted to keep working on the place. That was a month ago. 

The sun’s setting. Sam watches it out the kitchen window as he bandages his hand. He’s not sure where the hours went, but he realizes he’s hungry, and everything aches, and maybe he really has been working all day. 

He’ll rest soon. Right after he finishes pulling up the last of the tile. 

Sam can’t remember the last time he stayed in one place for this long. He’s moved in, to the extent that he knows how. His air mattress and sleeping bag are upstairs. He spent so much of his life existing this way; it’s not like he’s going to get fussy now.

It does help, having the house to focus on. He spends his days demolishing and replacing old tile floors, framing in new closets, painting and sanding and building, working until he’s so physically exhausted he can manage to sleep again. He tried to work a couple cases, at first, but he just — couldn’t. Not without Dean. 

There’s a part of him that wants to stay, to find a house of his own, somehow, to put the work in and build something he can keep, but he’ll probably leave when the job is done. This isn’t his, not really. There’s a part of him that’s always wanted that — something that’s his — something he built himself — something as close to stable as you can get in an unpredictable world. 

Sam used to daydream about having a real home, as a kid, every time he had to pack up his few belongings in his duffel. He always hated not having space for more books. He didn’t want to be like his father and his brother. 

His dad always traveled light. Take what you can carry. Anything more than that will just slow you down. When it’s time to go, you gotta be ready to go. 

Sam still daydreams about having a home of his own, but there are days when he’s not sure if he’s capable of staying in one place for long. He gets this itch under his skin, this restless need to just go, like the blur of yellow lines and the rumble of the engine are written into his DNA the same as every other part of his dad that he can’t seem to escape. 

Sam still doesn’t have much. He keeps the duffel by the door, his boots lined up next to it when he takes them off. He only borrows one book at a time from Spencer. He tells himself it’s just because this isn’t his space; he doesn’t want to make a mess in somebody else’s house. But every morning as he tidies up, he sees his dad’s gruff nod of approval, no matter how much he tries to ignore it.  

He keeps a bag packed. Just in case.

The cut throbs; he tells himself that’s why he can’t sleep, but… it just happens, sometimes, no matter how hard he works. His body wants rest, but his mind balks at the blank walls and the oppressive suburban silence.  

There’s only one thing that helps, really. Around three in the morning he brings his pillow and his sleeping bag outside, to where Baby is parked in the driveway. Sam curls up in the backseat and falls asleep in seconds. 

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Even though it’s not doing any good, Sam can’t help but press down on his palm. There’s something about the pain that helps. It’s just skin, anyway. Right now some blood and skin seems like the least of his problems, although the psychologist seems to think otherwise. 

Spencer’s eyes flicker down to the bandage, and Sam catches himself, makes himself hold his hands down at his sides, embarrassed.  

Spencer frowns slightly. “Doesn’t that hurt?” 

“Sorry,” Sam mutters. “Sorta… habit. It helped at first, with Lucifer — made him go away for a bit.”

“And now?” Spencer asks shrewdly. 

“Oh, man, he thinks you are so fucked-up,” Lucifer comments from the corner. “Bet that’s why he’s here. Suicide watch.” 

“Helps me feel attached to my own body, I guess. Does that make sense?” 

“Of course. One of the biggest elements of trauma recovery is regaining a sense of bodily autonomy.”

Sam huffs out a laugh before he can stop himself, and Lucifer cackles gleefully before putting on an exaggeratedly pitying face that Sam tries not to look at. 

“Awww, poor widdle traumatized Sammy,” he sing-songs. “Man, he doesn’t know the half of it, does he?” Sam shudders before he can stop himself, and Spencer gives him a sharp look, the sort that says there’s no way around talking about this. 

Sam sighs, and he takes a second, trying to find the right words; Spencer waits. 

“I think I have a funny relationship with that whole concept,” he says eventually, staring down at his hands, trying not to press on the bandage. “Can’t regain something I never really had.” 

Before he can say anything else, the orderly is coming in with a tray. 

“Excuse us for a minute?” he asks Spencer, who stands up, looking rattled. 

“I’ll be back. I’m going to get some coffee.” 

The orderly sets the tray of food down and asks, “How are you feeling today, Sam?” 

Sam attempts a smile and says, “Could be worse.”  

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

“How are you?” Spencer asks, because he’s realizing that maybe he should’ve waited until he’s home before launching into the magic discussion. He hates walking when it’s rush hour. It’s already hot, and he’s agitated, and he has to keep dodging strangers. “Wait, did I wake you? Sorry, I didn’t think about the time difference. We just got back, I haven’t really slept yet.” His eyes feel all gritty, and he’s wired in a way that means he needs to crash soon. 

“Nah, I was up. I had a nightmare, I haven’t gotten back to sleep.” 

“How’s Amelia?” 

“She’s good.” Sam’s smiling; Spencer can hear it. “We moved in together. Got offered a little place with a deal on rent in exchange for helping to fix it up.” 

“Wow. That’s… good for you?” He makes a face — because wow, that was unconvincing — and someone gives him a weird look as they walk in the opposite direction. 

Sam laughs. “Spit it out.” 

“You don’t think it’s a little fast? That seems like a big deal. Is that a big deal?” 

“Maybe it would be, if either of us had been more settled,” Sam says. “But… Amelia had a storage unit and not much else. Everything I own fits in the car.” 

“Does she know… everything?” 

“She knows there’s something I’m not talking about,” Sam says quietly. “She knows… that I don’t want to talk about some things.” 

“Does that bother her?” 

“No. I think… that’s part of it. Why I like her. Because there’s stuff she doesn’t want to talk about either, but we’re both trying to move on. We’re both more than what happened to us in the past.”

“Does it bother you? Not being able to be fully honest with her?” 

There’s a long, heavy pause. 

“I think I gave up on being fully honest with people a while ago. It’s… there’s too much, you know? I can barely think about it sometimes, let alone talk about it.” 

“Yeah. I see your point.” Spencer opens the door of his apartment building and breathes an air-conditioned sigh of relief. 

“How’s Maeve?” 

“She’s —” Spencer’s grinning like an idiot, and he doesn’t even know where to start. “She’s amazing. She’s just… extraordinary. I’ve never met anyone like her.”

“Have you actually met her yet?” 

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about,” he says, and closes the door behind himself. His apartment is dark and cool and quiet, and he lowers his shoulders, feeling some of the tension bleed away. “Is there a way to find somebody who’s missing? Magically, I mean.” 

“There are a few, I think, but the only one I know of that can be easily performed by humans involves, um, a significant amount of blood or a part of the missing person’s body.” 

That’d come in handy, if there was a way to make it hold up in court. Spencer makes a mental note to get more information at another time. 

“What if you don’t know the person?” 

“You mean Maeve’s stalker. No, that’s… probably not doable without some serious mojo, either demonic or angelic.” 

“Gotcha.” Spencer tries not to be disappointed by that. He paces back and forth, staring down at the wood floor, watching his Converse move in and out of the frame — five steps, pivot, five steps, pivot. “Maeve told me she loves me.” 

“Yeah?” 

“She just… said it. At the end of a phone conversation, like it was normal, and I just — I froze.” 

“And?” 

“I’ve never felt anything like this,” he admits, voice strained. “It’s — I can’t believe she exists, she’s brilliant, and I’ve never met anyone I can talk to about some things, and — I can’t believe she’s real. I keep thinking I must be going crazy. Is that crazy, to love someone you’ve never met?” 

Sam laughs. “Maybe. But… I might not be the best person to ask. I guess we’re both compartmentalizing.” 

“That’s different.” 

“Is it? You’re in love with the part of Maeve you know.” 

“Are you scared to tell her everything?” Spencer asks, before he can stop himself. He sits down, curls up, leaning against the back of the couch, suddenly exhausted. “Do you think… it’d change anything?” 

“I don’t know. I hope not, but that’s sort of a tall order, you know? I wouldn’t blame her, if she didn’t — if she couldn’t — you know.” There’s a grim edge to his voice that takes Spencer by surprise. “But I’d like to think it doesn’t matter. I mean — what we have together is what matters. We get along, we’re compatible, we want the same things right now. That’s important too.” 

“Do you love her?” 

Sam’s silent for so long that Spencer has to make sure the call wasn’t disconnected. 

“In a different way than… I used to love someone,” he says quietly. “It’s not like the way you feel about Maeve. I don’t think I’m capable of feeling that way, right now, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing, either. I don’t know if I’d want that. I love the way I am with her, and I love the way we are together, and… that’s more than I thought I’d ever have.” 

“Oh,” Spencer says. 

Sam clears his throat. “Sorry, that was — probably more honesty than you needed.” 

“No, it’s not that, just — really tired. But I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” 

“Sounds good.” 

Spencer gets his shoes off and all but collapses on the couch. It takes him a few minutes to fall asleep, though. His heart starts racing every time he thinks about Maeve, and he’s not sure whether he’s disappointed or relieved to know that meeting her in person is still out of the question. 

It makes his palms sweat, just thinking about reaching out to hold her hand. 

He doesn’t know what he’s doing, when it comes to the physical side of a relationship, and it’s terrifying. This way is easier. He loves being able to talk to her without worrying about tripping over his feet.  

Besides, he’s never been particularly fond of his body. Spencer can’t imagine Maeve feeling any differently. 

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

The orderly leaves. Spencer’s still not back yet.

“Can’t ignore me forever, Sam.” 

He turns his back on Lucifer. 

“Seriously? I’m in your head! You’re stuck with me.” 

Sam puts his hands over his ears and squeezes his eyes shut. 

“Gotta say, I’m not even the worst thing up here. I mean, fuck, with this horror show playing 24/7, it’s a wonder you didn’t lose it a long time ago.”

Sam’s grinding his teeth so hard his jaw aches. 

“When you think about it, really, I know you better than anybody. Can’t hide anything from me. Not that I blame you for wanting to hide some of this shit. Can you imagine the look on Dean’s face? He would’ve put you away years ago, if he knew everything. Don’t worry, Sammy, I’m not going to leave you.”

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

“I need your help,” Spencer says immediately, and his voice is strained in a way Sam’s never heard before, even when Spencer was calling to say goodbye. 

“Anything.” 

“Maeve. She’s been kidnapped, and — I need your help, okay? I need to find her. I’ll buy you a plane ticket, I don’t care, just — I need to find her.” 

Sam had already been calculating how long it would take to drive; he’s so used to doing things Dean’s way that it never occurs to him to fly. 

“ID might be a problem.” 

“Penelope can take care of that. I know I shouldn’t just ask you to drop everything, but—” 

“Do you think it’s… my kind of thing?” 

“It might be,” Spencer says shrilly. “I don’t know, Sam, all I know is this guy took her. He might be possessed! He might be a witch! I don’t know. That’s the goddamn problem. The team’s looking for her, and we’re not technically assigned the case but we still have to do it by the book, and…” 

“Oh.” 

“You know?” 

“I know,” Sam says quietly. “You need someone who can get their hands dirty, if it comes to that.” 

“Is that…” Spencer falters. “It sounds worse when you say it out loud, I’m just — I’m panicking? I didn’t think this through.” 

“Don’t worry, I get it.” Sam rubs his eyes. “I’ll be there.” 

Months away from the job but it feels familiar; he’s making lists and running through what-ifs as he hangs up and whistles for Riot. 

He packs a change of clothes, his laptop, and the ingredients for a basic location spell, and it’s not until he grabs the keys that he remembers. 

Amelia is watching him from the kitchen, eyebrows raised, one hand on her hip and the other holding a spatula. 

“What the fuck?” she asks flatly, as Sam pauses with an arm already outstretched, reaching for the doorknob. 

“I — my friend in DC — I need to go. I won’t be more than a day or two.” He rushes over and kisses her on the cheek, but she’s frozen, still as a statue. 

“The friend who works for the FBI? Spencer?”  

“Yeah. His girlfriend — she’s missing.” 

“And he needs your help.” 

Sam opens his mouth to explain and then shuts it abruptly. Amelia looks equal parts skeptical and baffled, and it’s not like Sam can blame her. 

“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “Can we talk about it when I get back?” 

“Fine,” she says, in a voice that means it’s not fine at all, but Sam doesn’t have time for this. 

There’s a nasty feeling in his gut and a bitter voice in the back of his head, reminding him that it’s time to go. He understands why she’s angry, but he can’t let it slow him down. 

“Love you,” he says quietly, and turns to leave. 

He’s got a hand on the doorknob when she speaks again, voice rough with anger: “Sam?” 

“Yeah?” 

When he turns, he realizes her chin’s dimpling in that way that means she’s trying not to cry. Not angry, then. She’s hurt. 

“Were you just going to take off?” she asks. “Did you just… forget you have a life?” 

“Old habits die hard,” Sam says, throat tight. 

He hears his dad’s smug laugh when he shuts the door behind him. 

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

.

.

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Part 2 is here!

#cmbingo21 #sam winchester #spencer reid #spencer reid fic #sam winchester fic #criminal minds #supernatural #spn x cm #supernatural x criminal minds #crossover fic

[mercyandmagic]

Hi, mercyandmagic....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite “villains” (or antagonists) in all of MXTX novels? Whether it’s a final boss like Jun Wu or more of a side character like Xue Yang. (Whether you want to do a ranking or just write out in no particular order)...Sorry if you've answered this question before....

Aghh sorry I haven’t responded all through the month – I’m a university instructor and this past month has been h e l l. Ahem. I will start working through your asks now!

These are solely my opinion, from most to least favorite:

1. Jin Guangyao (was there any doubt?)

I firmly maintain he’s an antagonist and not a villain because he really just wants to live safely. He only goes against Wei Wuxian because Wei Wuxian is in his way; otherwise, he wouldn’t have harmed him. And Jin Guangyao did so much good for the cultivation society once he was free of his father. Not that I’m excusing what he did with his dad, but it really does seem his misdeeds were 95% during his father’s reign, 5% when Wei Wuxian returns, and 5% the mystery of Rusong. 

Plus he’s kind, humble, defies tradition by allowing his dead brother’s murals to be treated as equal to his, and... look, to be motivated to do evil to earn your father’s love is a compelling motive. The pain of realizing he isn’t loved by a parent is... awful, and that makes me want to cry over him quite a bit.

2. Xue Yang

He’s charming in an wicked way. Not that I actually think he’s evil – he’s not. But I do think there’s undertones of text that support him as a clinical psychopath, and I don’t mean that in the way of “he’s an irredeemable monster.” I mean his lack of response to pain or risk, his difficulty with relationships, and his difficulty with empathy make me think he has a brain condition. I agree with MXTX  that he’d always be different, but so what? I think if someone had intervened earlier or helped him along the way he could have found happiness. Instead, he was asked to do demonic cultivation (which definitely affected even Wei Wuxian’s mood by the end) and a knife to slay political enemies without repercussions was put in his hands by Jin Guangshan. It’s tragic.

3. Shen Qingqiu (original)

Look, his backstory and lack of resolution breaks my heart.

4.  Tianlang-Jun

It’s debatable if he’s even an antagonist, but I’ll include him. He’s sad and his story of love and heartbreak made me sniffle.

5. Wen Ruohan

Mysterious, formidable, overwhelming in the one scene we have of him (novel-verse). He drips style and is fodder for so many fanfics. 

6. Old Palace Master 

Go f**k yourself, Harvey Weinstein of the SVSSS cultivation world.

7. Jun Wu

I grew more and more sus of him throughout the story and was truly delighted to learn he was, indeed, the Big Bad. I do feel empathy, sure – actually more so than for Old Palace Master. But Jun Wu went so far over the line and his torment of Xie Lian was so bad that I don’t care for him personally. He can have his redemption since he’s still alive and I hope he does, but stay far away from me in fanfic. I think the fact that he’s also the head of the gods turns me away from him – religious hypocrisy is something I have a harder time with personally due to experiences growing up. 

8.  Jin Guangshan

The real villain of MDZS, am I right? Oh, the sexist hatred of talented women, the predation, the manipulation, the lack of love for his son, the murder of political enemies. At least the Old Palace Master kind sorta cared for his daughter. Jin Guangshan reminds me of so many men. Go f**k yourself, Harvey Weinstein + [insert many potential autocrat names here] of the MDZS cultivation world.  

#jin guangyao #xue yang #shen qingqiu #tianlang jun #wen ruohan #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #svsss #tgcf

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hi! If you don't mind could you write me some headcanons about being bff with some female cp's? Like Jane, Nina, Clockwork, Nurse Ann...?

One of my best friends is called one of these names so it was odd to write XD Some headcanon’s were totally true about her as well, and some definitely were n o t. XD

Anyway I’m not sure how comprehensive this is since I just kinda spewed it all out so, uh… I hope you like them! 😅

~~~

Clockwork:

·         Natalie stays at your house all the time and eats all your food. Girl has a FAST metabolism so you cannot tell, but she eats e v e r y t h i n g.

·         She doesn’t even have a key to your home, you just come home from everyday activities and she’s slumped in your couch cushions watching TV and there’s a pool on your bathroom floor from her shower and- oh, she has also ordered pizza so get your wallet out.

·         You just squint/glare at her before flopping on the couch beside her. She hands you the remote and gets comfier by you.

·         Even when you have a romantic interest over, she is there at your house, comfortable on the couch playing games on your phone as you walk your ‘friend’ to your room.

·         It’s not all frustrating though, she’s always there to protect you. There have been multiple burglaries that she has intercepted and ‘taken care of’. She’s honestly like a guard dog who also has an excellent sense of humour.

·         And don’t think she just wants you around for your apartment and money. Nay nayyyyyy nay. She tells you all about the Creepypasta drama and what’s going on at the mansion, even though you aren’t apart of that life.

·         And she calls when she’s away. Just calls up to talk to you.

·         You two are the kind of friends that don’t need to talk to each other all the time. In fact, you agree that talking to people all the time is annoying and too much trouble, and you could totally go without each other for days (Weeks even) if either of you were busy! But… without either of you even realising, you always end up contacting each other in one way or another every day, anyway. Its easy with you two. No romantic relationship could compare.

·         She was the groom and you were the bride in your make-believe weddings and mums and dads games as kids.

·         On Toby: “Okay Nat, I like Toby but I hope you know, if he hurts you… well there is absolutely nothing I can do to wreak revenge on your behalf, as he is a duo hatchet wielding psychopath, except maybe give him a stink eye. … When he is looking away and therefore cannot see the stink eye.”

·         More on the Toby subject: Clockwork once took you to Slender Mansion (Cuz you were targeted by a botched victim of hers because she cares about you and she wanted you close by to keep you safe until she could, like, finish killing the guy and all. Whatever though, no biggie. Pft, At least that’s how she made it out to be.) and she had to leave you for a moment so she handcuffed you and Toby together because he’s the only one she could trust to watch you.

·         It was very awkward for the two of you, but definitely a bonding experience. You were both very happy to see Clocky come back though.

·         HORROR. The world of horror is your favourite genre together. Supernatural horror, slashers, basement dwellers, vampires, werewolves, the blob, stalkers, murderers, psychological horror, black and white, colour, movies, tv shows, books- whatever. You two get so excited to experience new fictional horror.

Jane The Killer:

·         If you’re into boys, let me tell you right away- Jane is very critical of their actions. She was at a very influential time in her life (Especially concerning boys and girls and romance) when she met Jeff and Liu. She met those boys, thought ‘Oh, they’re cute. Maybe budding crush?’, and then Jeff killed her family, burnt down her home and ruined her life and Liu became an asshole, and now the male species has been, sorta… tainted. She knows there are good ones (In fact, m a n y boys are lovely, of course.), but one’s that you’re in romantic cahoots with are always going to be under her very watchful eye anyway so she doesn’t really bother to hold back her fear (Which translates into dislike… or hate) with them. So if you have boy problems, be careful. Provided you like this/these guy/s, at least. If you don’t like them, then she’s the perfect person to go to!

·         If you are a boy, then- of course, none of this applies to you. She loves you. Don’t worry. You’re her best friend!

·         Girls are an entirely different situation though of course. Jane drinks that love women juice every single day.

·         Jane is really good with altering clothes, so she’s the one you go to when you need help hemming something or taking something in. She likes to do it, too. Quality best friend time while not being lazy.

·         Speaking of her hating to be lazy… This does not apply at night. Nighttime is a whole other ballgame. Its bedtime by 7 for her if you don’t lock her into plans a week in advance. If she is braless and in her P.J’s, you will not be able to peel her from her home. Except for snacks, but even if she goes to the grocery store, she’s not getting changed and she’s going to wear her bunny slippers.

·         You two watch so many cartoons together. Gravity Falls, Star Vs The Forces of Evil, Over The Garden Hedge, Villainous, Looney Tunes, Ducktales, etc. Any and all that you can get your hands on.

·         You two are prepared to get platonically married, for any reason. Like, you need to stay in the country? Married; You’re staying. You’re the only one who can testify against hr in the court of law? Married, so by law you don’t have to. One of you accidentally planted yourselves with a kid and (Cuz you’re ride or die for each other, obviously), you’re gonna parent the child together and cuz of religious beliefs one of your would feel better about raising them together with a wedding band? Married.

·         Jane doesn’t drink, so when/if you get drunk she’s always there to keep you safe.

·         Jane also gets friend-jealous, a lot. Like, that bitch just called you her best friend, Y/N. Is she your best friend? I thought I was. So who is it, Y/N? Me or her? HM? (She is prepared to turn up to wherever you and this person are hanging, all glamorous and cool as she is, and show off. Prove she’s a way better friend then this new person so they back off).

·         When you were little, she was the bride and you were the groom in your wedding/marriage/mums and dads games.

Nina The Killer:

·         You have known her for both your entire lives and there have been iffy, and dark times but through hell and high water you have stuck with her. You love her. She’s your girl, you are her person too. You will be with her, and protect her from anything.

·         You are the only one in the world that loves her, really. You may not quite understand her weirdness, but you stick with her anyway because you love her.

·         Just like- baseline of your friendship is being ride or die for each other.

·         You were also really into Jeff, but at a more… healthy? Level? Like, you were still romantically interested in a real-life murderer, but you wouldn’t have done anything about it. You wouldn’t hurt anyone (Except to protect others) or victim blame, or contact the victims (Dear God) or whatever, but you would take peaks at fanfiction and gab with Nina about it. I mean, it’s not grand, but in comparison to Nina, hah… you were harmless.

·         Now though, that you’ve met him and he is the reason your bets friend is so hurt and broken, you are not the fondest of him. I mean, you still have a place in your heart for the version of him you and Nina made up in your heads (The version that Nina still believes is real) but that isn’t the real him. Jeff Woods is an ass. You need to keep your friend safe from him.

·         And uh… so nowadays… occasionally, you will find out where Jeff is (You keep an ear out) and, you know, just… lie your ass off to Nina. Yep. You tell her you heard that he’s in the opposite direction than he is so that she’ll unknowingly put more distance between him and her.

·         Yes. It’s a lie, but… its for the greater good! It’s for Nina’s mental health and physical safety.

·         Anyway, moving on to lighter things.

·         In your make believe mums and dads/’grown up’ games that you would play together as kids, you were a single parent and she was the dog.

·         She will lie for you in an instant. She’s also really good at it.

·         You walked into a room once and saw she was drawing something, and it turned out to be your joint tombstone. She has not let this go- you will be buried in the same plot together, if it is the last thing she does. This is slightly concerning, but… also kind of cute. You can roll with it.

·         “What if I get married or have kids?”

·         “They will need to apply with me to join. There will be an interview process.”

·         ‘What about pets?”

·         “Oh, they can come in! No fee!”

·         Do not underestimate her weight. If she doesn’t want you to leave, she will hold onto your leg and go deadweight, and you will s t r u g g l e.

·         Nina talks to herself, but she acts like the person she’s talking to is another person, inside her mind. You both know its not, but you refer to the other girl as Agnes anyway. Super casual.

·         Follows you when you go on dates (At least the first one with someone)to make sure all goes well and texts you rapid fire when she smells something fishy. Even the smallest thing.

·         You two really love dystopian teen fiction. Divergent? Matched? Hunger Games? Maze Runner? Ugles? Alllllll. You consume them and then watch the movies/tv shows too.

Nurse Ann:

·         Live-in medical services! This means you can get really cheap life insurance and not worry about it to much.

·         And on the topic of insurance… Ann is super smart, and organised, and just really awesome at practical stuff like that. Insurance, bills, mortgages, any kind of forms and receipts. And she’s happy to sit down and help you go through it- and, as we all know, everything is better when it’s with a friend you feel comfortable with.

·         You can tell Ann anything and she’ll just roll with it. No judgment. Either she takes it and lets you talk about it or she just acknowledges it and moves on.

·         Like Jane, Ann has very little patience for boy problems. In fact, she has zero time for it. Boys? Girls? No thank you. So if you’re into boys, I have some bad news for you.

·         Best friend maintenance. Occasionally, Ann will over work herself (with murder) and you will need to guide her to relaxation. Gently persuade her to sit down at the dinner table and just make idle chit chat with her every now and then as you make her a good, hearty meal (Or as good as you can do XD Anything between Beefy stew and a Cheese toastie will work fine, don’t worry. She’s not picky at all), and then watch some movies with her. No phones, no knitting, no drawing, no… whatever. No other activities except TV watching! She needs to rest. I’m always shocked at how relaxing just sitting and watching TV can be. There’s a big difference between doing that and multitasking.

·         Ann will call you to pretend there’s an emergency if you want to get out of social engagement.

·         A thing that two enjoy together is science fiction. Star Trek (Including the animation), The War of Worlds, the world of Star Wars, Dune, a Handmaids Tail, The 100, Eureka, etc. She loves the brainy stuff.

·         Ann is the logical friend, who tries to give the most practical advice and make pros and con lists and everything. And then you go ahead and do the crazy thing, the thing she said definitely would not work and would probably make things worse, and she just face palms and says she’s never getting mixed up in your mess again. … Until the next time, when she totally does.

·         “I love you Y/N, but I am not about to walk into a police office and bail you out of jail so do not do that.”

·         You trap her into resting by painting her nails (Hands and feet) in her sleep right before her alarm is about to go off so she has to take the morning SLOW or the paint will mess up. She just wakes up, you hold up a sign in front of her face that says ‘NAILS’ and she stops immediately. “You bitch.”

·         As kids, of course, the two of you would play make-believe family games and you were both mums (/ or you were the dad). She was the working mum and you were forced to stay home take care the baby (large container of vitamins with a face drawn on).