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#and the ppl i was w were talking to someone so i couldnt rlly keep walking
nvrtrust-naims · 1 month
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i hate effort
i want to sleep
i hate effort but i hate failure more
i always push
i hate everything i can never relax
im scared to fail im scared to prove people right
i do good but never good enough
whats wrong w me i feel like theres something wrong w me i feel like everyone knows but me i feel like i was born wrong what did i do so wrong why am i disgusting sometimes i want to kill myself so badly all i can do is stare and lie down
i think i want to die again
im scared to fail at dying too i feel like i suck at everything why am i not good enough somethings wrong whats wrong i dont know and it scares me im always scared i never feel safe and when i do its fake i dont think i can keep going
i have vices but i think im ok dont i
i have to be ok or ill die
its strange that all this feeling is over something so small maybe i have a problem but im managing it well i havent attempted in months
all i can think about are my failures my inability my timing my unluckiness whats wrong with me
sometimes idk idk idk idk idk
i want to hurt myself in an indirect way so that it doesnt feel or seem like sh but i rlly know it is
thats what im doing rn
all im doing is hurting myself
sometimes i dont know myself
am i rlly exhausted and tired and burntout or am i neglecting what i need to do just to hurt myself as a punishment
im a masochist n ive been thinking abt that lately too : i dont know exactly why i enjoy pain or why i have maso tendencies but i have an idea that idk mayb i rlly am a narcissist n i just like being taken down a peg or mayb i dont love myself and i enjoy pain bc i want punishment for ever being born and for still existing
kind of like punishing my body for still breathing and pumping blood
or mayb i like the feeling of control like when im hurt the wounds are all mine n nobody can take them
when i love something/someone i hide it bc anytime that i was happy or i had something i liked it would get destroyed or thrown out
if i didnt hide what i loved it would get crushed
i had my diary read n i got beat for having my first crush n i think thats why writing in diaries n journals is difficult for me
when i moved for mayb the 4th or 5th time my teacher in elementary gave me an end of yr gift : it was lipgloss . when i put it on in the car my father grabbed it and threw it out the window
when i had hobbies they were taken away from me
i wasnt allowed outside as a kid or to have friends
sometimes ppl wonder why im "secretive" or "sneaky" but i feel like im just doing what i was taught
i was taught to hide myself bc im disgusting
ive never once wanted to live in my entire life ever since i could think ive never wanted to
i couldnt exactly point out that i wanted to die but it wouldnt take long it just felt like the right conclusion
n i still feel like all of this is over something so small
like im dumb for feeling i feel dumb i feel so stupid
im so unreliable whats wrong w me
i feel so alone but theres ppl i love n it feels like i disrespect them everytime i feel alone but what am i supposed to do idk what to do
i have to hide my emotions idk emotions are weakness is what i feel like ik its not true but its already instilled
nobody listened when i cried as a kid nobody cared i didnt even know my own name until i was 9 bc nobody said it enough
i feel like ill never be able to resolve my deeper issues bc i cant talk abt how i feel or what i want
i just go mute or i cry i just cant ive tried
it doesnt work bc im not meant to be happy
ill look back at this later n think im emo for thinking so hard over something so small
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muwur · 4 years
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snapchat headcanons
✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad
❧ gn reader
✎ 3.1k words
a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ
this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now
doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA
requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!
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sugawara
✧ sends good morning and good night snaps
✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)
✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while
✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption
✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them
✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags
✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“
✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps
✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)
✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”
✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”
✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”
✧ or
✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”
✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”
✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”
✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up” 
✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”
✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)
✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)
✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you
✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)
✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho
✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate
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kageyama
✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much
✧ but when he does
✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)
✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)
✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks
✧ he’s so bad at streaks
✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”
✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)
✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)
✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered
✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:
✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”
✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘
✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)
✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)
✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”
✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them
✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)
✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)
✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear
✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”
✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)
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oikawa
✧ literally sends you anything and everything
✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:
✧ “he has risen”
✧ or “i woke up like this”
✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”
✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera
✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)
✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--
✧ FILTERSS
✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF
✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)
✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc
✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl
✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)
✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you
✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL
✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)
✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc. 
✧ fitting room photoshoots lol
✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”
✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices
✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”
✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )
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kenma
✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him
✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to
✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute
✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit
✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--
✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes
✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following
✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc
✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--
✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign
✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out
✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you
✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him
✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business
✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket
✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom
✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen
✧ “kenma” n das it
✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it
✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois
✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings
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akaashi
✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both
✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him
✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window
✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:
✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”
-or:
✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”
✧ o n let’s not leave out:
✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”
✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions
✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content
✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention
✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)
✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho
✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories
✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)
✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)
✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”
✧ akaashi: “...”
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koganegawa
✧ sends you selfies of him before practice
✧ during breaks
✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:
✧  “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”
✧ that, or:
✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢😩”
✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata
✧ def uses filters
✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos
✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”
✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)
✧ also enjoys the doodle feature
✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--
✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it
✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”
✧ “kogane, that’s--”
✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool
✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip
✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”
✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop
✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting
✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”
✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online
✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”
✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL
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semi
✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:
✧ semi: “does this look ok”
✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”
✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them
✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and
✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”
✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them
✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music
✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch
✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees
✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience
✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things
✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing
✧  “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”
✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot
✧  “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”
✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining
✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him
✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”
✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”
✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)
✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out
✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”
✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”
✧ you: “🥺 bb”
✧ viewers: “aw”
✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”
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shirabu
✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much
✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them
✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho
✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them
✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat
✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL
✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying
✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look
✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face
✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski
✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien
✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”
✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”
✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you
✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap
✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to
✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”
✧ “no, it’s really not”
✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories
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atsumu
✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:
✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”
✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse
✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow
✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”
✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am
✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”
✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens
✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off
✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott
✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps
✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner
✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)
✧ but when you dont:
*in class*
✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today” 
✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”
✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”
✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”
✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE
✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks
✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things
✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen
✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”
✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”
✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)
a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL
also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL
idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--
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jungxk · 3 years
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// rant
i'm jus so heartbroken rn i've been crying for the past hour i jus need to put my feelings out there, i hope it's ok w you.
my mum wakes up today and jus starts berating me bc i didnt put washed dishes into the cabinets & the kitchen looked messy for her. i'm supposed to do it bc there's nothing else i actually do but yesterday i had woken up in the evening nd they called me to pray straight away so i totally forgot about it (coupled w the fact that i dont like doing it either cuz there's always sm dishes nd it's such a hassle). she jus started scolding me senseless nd im someone who doesnt get mad easily, even if i do i tend to stay quiet bc i dont like conflict & angry emotions are ugly. but i couldnt stop it today? she kept calling me selfish nd she's been calling me that the past few days as well bc i never help out w chores or anything. she's always asking me "what do u do for this family" or "what do u do in this house" every single time nd ofc i cant say shit bc i dont. i'm doing uni online nd it's really not that easy but bc i dont talk to my family like at all, they think i'm all good. the other day i pissed them off nd my parents straight up said "why do we need to pay for ur uni ure not doing anything anyway" & i jus... i didnt even know if i even deserve to feel sad over it. they were asking me what i wanna do after uni as if im not just in my first year & when i said im not sure they got so mad and my mum purposely said "just marry her off" to push my buttons into giving them an answer. they keep saying i'm pushing them into being the worst and saying the worst to me but how is that fair? they're parents? adults? i'm jus 20 & i can control my emotions? but today really jus pushed me she got so mad at me for the littlest things nd i jus exploded. I asked her why she's mad and she's like cuz of the kitchen bla bla bla nd it got so frustrating i told her it's not my problem nd i jus wont ever eat again since all the unwashed dishes piling is my fault. nd then she got mad at me for that and scolded me. I hate being touched but mostly i hate being hit. imagine getting hit at 20 years old bc my mother is too emotionally unstable that she cant take a few seconds by herself to calm her anger down. I hate it. nd bc i said it's not my problem she came nd told me "yea it won't be ur problem when i die too! i'll make sure when i do, u never come see me." jus... what kind of parent says that? i'm so careful w what i say & i slip sometimes bc i'm human but how can a mother say that? she doesnt know anything about me. she doesn't know i dont like being hit, she doesnt know i dont like it when ppl act impulsively on emotions. sometimes i feel like i really am the problem nd that i'm really selfish. spending shit ton of money to get me to study, maybe i am selfish. i dont mind it. i know myself well enough to hate things about myself. but to have parents who barely know me as a person rather than a daughter, getting this much mad at me for smthn so simple jus makes me so sad. bc i was doing the task when she asked. she does things like this then wonders why i cant ever talk to her. entire family thinks i'm immature bc i behave exactly how they treat me. 20 years. I never ask for much. but it's starting to feel like asking to study in the uk was my greatest downfall. it feels like i dont deserve this. every day i'm itching to get away, to live alone bc they've made me feel like i can never work well in groups. it's always somehow my fault as if they havent been invalidating me nd my feelings since birth.
nd i can never tell them all these bc i'm never confident in them. i'm never confident in whether i would be accepted nd comforted without ridicule or scolding. my brother & father tell me it's like that, that jus bc i may get a scolding shouldn't stop me from being open. but what kind of stupidity is that? my mother who makes me feel like the world is ending when i accidentally break smthn, that it wasn't an accident but rather it's me nd that i jus cant do a good job— where is the comfort i can ever find coming to her w a problem?
nd bc of that we're not close. bc of that she's closer to my cousins & everyone else really. they've never concerned themselves to talking about family issues w me but when i dont know, they shame me, saying i never bother to ask— how would i know when to ask? should they be telling me when there's smthn going on?
this makes the concept of family so repelling for me. there is inherently no reason to ever have a child that isnt selfish or self fulfilling. what they do as parents is to make them feel as important nd respected as they expect from the child. but it's never like that w south asians. emotions dont exist if ure the child nd apparently getting mad is a norm nd shouldn't stop u from being emotional w someone.
at times i tell myself that i should pay back every penny my parents spent on me. bc sometimes it feels like it's being used to make me act or feel a certain way. i dont wanna feel this way. theyre my parents, i know theyre good people. but i'm so hurt by the things going on nd the things from the past. my mother invalidates me sm. she more or less kinda blamed me for feeling useless and depressed last year. my brother was telling her to go easy on me nd she got so mad & frustrated bc she didnt know what she was doing wrong. "if she feels so useless why doesnt she do anything about it?" like that was such a golden chance for her to have comforted me nd i couldve opened up? but she ruined it nd hurt me again.
last year i lived w her alone nd my dad was in our home country. I was having some troubles w him gone but i dont call or text bc... it always felt like a drag. it never felt like a conversation nd the only time it did was when i complained to him about my mum. so much shit happened between my mum and i & this person advised me to jus write some of my feelings to her. so i wrote her a long letter nd i included saying how not having my dad was hard on me too. flash forward im in my home country & w my dad. i know nobody here bc i didnt grow up here. i'm doing online uni & basically have to stay indoors cuz of covid. she brings that letter up when she was to berate me nd it jus feels so uncomfortable for me? like ok my actions dont line up but i wrote that cuz i was looking for comfort nd understanding. if i knew it was going to be held against me, i would not have done it? "u said it was so hard for u without him, so what do u even do for him here now?"— what can i do? i'm just 20 nd the situation im in is not normal? i'm grateful to be w my dad again but what can i do? &it always freaking comes down to house chores. i try my best. when our maid doesnt come i do my best w my tasks. i know it's not enough but i jus... i dont even know. ig that part of me is selfish nd lazy.
it's so suffocating here. all my feelings are bottled up nd im so scared what that would do to me in the future. but at least i know i'm too selfish to ever spend the rest of my life w someone.
sorry for the long rant. i hope this didnt ruin ur mood or anything i jus need an outlet nd ur blog jus feels so comforting nd welcoming. thank u for listening to me nd my feelings. God bless u really kssjdjsj
i’m rlly sorry this is happening to you bby. idk what race u are but this sounds so much like that asian mentality where emotions are black and white and comfort in any way is out of the question. ur still rlly young tho so ur relationship with ur parents has room to improve i promise. i think it’s rlly important for u to move out whenever u can tho bc that’s what rlly improves the relationship. having said this i do think the way your mum talks to u/treats u is emotionally and mentally abusive so whether you want to uphold that tie with her in the future is ur choice i just rlly hope u get somewhere safe and away from ur family soon x
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dyketubbo · 3 years
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found truthers and eb ppl while looking for beeduo stuff and almost vomited! diversity loss. i hope they all either go to therapy and learn to be normal human beings who dont read into real fucking peoples relationships and statements to say that theyre secretly trans or gay or whatever or that they fucking die because shit would it make this world easier to live in. esp for the ccs that have to deal with their own "fans" constantly reading into their every little move
like wow!! wonder why ranboo doesnt like ppl talking abt his sexuality or birthday when theres ppl who legit try to guess at his birth chart or say that hes queer or why tubbo wants his sexuality to be private when any time he interacts with another boy theres a million ppl clamoring to say its flirty or that he likes them. its all obvs hurting them, even if they were queer once they come out its going to b w the knowledge that now even more people are going to make fics and art that overstep their boundaries or act Weird about it or act as if theyve known all along (gross bc u rlly shouldnt read into someone like that)
like damn no wonder they want to keep shit abt themselves secret even when they are open abt their identity they get bitches pressuring them into accepting something else (ranboo having his pronouns listed as he/him only for someone to send him multiple donos asking if he uses they/them too). not only does it show that those ppl are unhealthy and need to take a step back n get help but it also just. isnt good for ny1, not them, not the ccs, n not the ppl like me who r triggered by that stuff but keep seeing it nyways
just. its so so sickening. i cant imagine how the ccs feel, its already so clear that many of them have had their mental health plummet bc of their "fan"bases, i just. god, they really have to deal with ppl constantly reading into their every little move, ppl misgendering them saying that its bc they "found out" that theyre actually trans, ppl making gross content and saying its ok bc the ccs wont see as if its okay to do shitty things just bc you wont be found out (newsflash: a shitty thing is shitty no matter who sees you), ppl assigning them labels and getting into their old content (a bunch of fucking ppl were obsessing over believing they found ranboos old tumblr and caused him to delete it by interacting, which even if it was his i. he actively says not to seek out his old shit whats wrong with you), ppl reading into their real life relationships, etc etc. i couldnt even deal with rumors of me in school when i was a nobody, i doubt popular ccs are doing too hot when its thousands of ppl spreading hundreds of rumors at all times. i hope i never lose sight of having basic compassion and respect for other humans and their boundaries like truthers have
#mask mews#negative#emeto#i click on the blogs so i can go down rabbit holes n block a bunch of them#i try not to go over my limit but. god is some of the stuff they say genuinely sickening#like they read into every little statement to be flirting or proof that someones closeted and its just.#please. treat people normally. they rnt ur characters 2 find queer subtext in or w/e theyr just real ppl who like jokin around w friends#not to mntion truthing wld only make ccs be less willing to come out if they were queer#bc then thats a lot of gross ppl who overstepped their boundaries that wld only get Even Worse#every little step every little word its all read into and twisted into something theyre uncomfortable with#thats. terrifying. i really dont understand how truthers are just so lacking in compassion that they think its ok#to overstep boundaries n lean into every little thing all the time. dont u get tired? dont u wanna b able 2 interact w media n ppl#w/o it bein a contest of how queer you think it all is? rnt u tired of being hated? of doin thngs u kno ur fave wld hate u for?#like. theres spaces 4 ppl who need help w those kind of thoughts. genuinely#indulging in the impulse 2 overstep boundaries n read in2 things 2 th point where u cant tell whats actually real or not is. unhealthy#it genuinely messes w ur mind a bunch n i know bc ive been there. please get help. its a lot nicer whn u sit back n realize that#these ppl are just.. hanging out w each other. no secret message n even if there was its gross to look 4 it#its amazing how treating ppl w respect can help w ur mental health while disrespecting them jus fucks w ur brain even more..#like. ive never seen ny1 who engages w this shit n refuse help turn out 2 b ok. but ppl who reach out often do better in life#so like. if for w/e reason u read thru this. know that like. if u find urself wanting 2 leave then do it. its ok. youll find ur plac#grass is greener on this side. y' just gotta realize that muddy pastures wont fulfill u first#truthing tw#enderbees ppl are the worse abt this. other than the poppy ppl but. as a whole ebblr is filled with disgusting ppl n it sucks#imagine bein so far gone u read into 2 teenagers relationship tht uve only seen over the internet n say that theyre in love n dating n shit#get help. goddamn
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floorbed · 3 years
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7 19 23 35 40 52 69 for The Jester and The Crimegirl
thank you so much bee omg i loved the questions u made sm!!! time for Them. this is super super long im sorry njdkkfkrenkjr
7. which party member do they understand the least?
for pen it is probably alba if he had to pick anyone? just because he can do Crazy Shit Sometimes. but pen still feels like he understands him v well!!
for agni its probably elvira! she is from a place she knows next to nothing about besides what elvira’s explained or what she’s learned from school, she is 100+ years old, yeah! while agni doesnt like fully Understand her she still thinks she’s really cool!! it was rlly nice of her to try and comfort her when she initially found out abt Rei Time. and also knitted her a pretty holster that was so nice of her!!
19. what haunts them? what doesn’t?
pen’s is home. so mf much he genuinely loves his party a lot and has gotten really attached but also like he misses home so bad it hurts. he felt like he was an intrinsic part of something that he fit perfectly and was never gonna have to give up, and he got to be w everyone he cared about all day. he’s haunted by mikolai’s wedding lol. he’s also haunted by The Shit That Went Down Pertaining To His Exile, His Subsequent Exile, Making the Pact,  Dying, Making The Pact Pt 2, The Thing He Had To Do After He Made The Pact, And Then Also Dying Again. he’s haunted by holding ori dead in his arms and bringing her back using power he now understands was from a Not That Great Place. he barely knew her then but he still thought about it all the time, and now he thinks abt it even more lol! he just is not used to life being. Like This. at all. he was a vvvvvv spoiled kid. (some nobility complex part of him is haunted by lydia! stupid jester!) 
he’s not haunted by everyone he’s been a bitch to lol, unless he vocally apologized for it later nfjnf. he’s not haunted by vargas. uh
agni is not haunted by most things and That’s On her super healthy coping mechanism! she tries to not think about her personal life with that much weight, she tries to keep it abstract in her head? but also there are some things she can’t help but get Unnamed Bad Feeling from instinctively. rei. w how last session fucking turned out lol, watching seras collapse in the doorway Will Def Become One. Moms Time, both for individual reasons. sometimes, not being accomplished, but that also filters into Moms Time. everything else tho she kind of just vibes through. 
23. how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name?
pens Official Title is penance the jester, court jester of tarbyen (and he makes sure no one forgets it lol.) everyone he grew up around had official titles so it made him feel realllyyy good abt himself that he had one too! (he likes that the party’s nicknamed him pen tho, he thinks its sweet >:) ) his Name name is camil, but only his mom n mikolai called him that, so he thinks its very like..... informal, and he likes being a Formal Title Boy, but also it makes him go all soft bc the two ppl he loved most called him that!! conflicting feelings. 
agni’s had her nickname since she was really young i think, one of those like, you’re in fantasy kindergarten and learning how to spell and your first name is rlly long, so u employ a nickname very early Kind Of Moments. her full name is agnodice and she likes it well enough! it feels very kind of like. stiff and formal to her tho. she thinks agni suits her better!
35. which party member do they worry for?
pen worries for All Of Them. he tries to follow juni when he’s having one of his (as pen puts it) “freak out moments” bc he’s scared someday it’s going to be something that really hurts him, and he wants to be there to help if it does. pen has fully accidentally triggered ori before, and he feels really bad about it, especially since her triggers literally Set Her On Fire. so you know. he tries to be really careful with his words around her, especially since the incident a couple sessions ago. also, he is Very Concerned abt all of her past stuff with the mahne that he’s recently learned abt, especially putting together all the past knowledge she’s given him abt the river and what to do in a pact and Where Exactly She Got That Info From. he’s grateful she’s not in any of that anymore, though, whatever the mahne is exactly. alba’s impulsivity worries pen n he wants to make sure alba doesnt accidentally Put Himself In A Situation accidentally w that someday. 
agni worries for theodosia, just because she seems to know a lot about the fucked up illness time thats going on and it seems to rlly effect her and she knows it cld be coming from prior past experience? she also worries for cyrus because of the whole you know. his family’s shop and home being burned to the ground Situation, even though theyve since recovered it couldnt have been good for him. worries for kai, also, because he is Small Baby Boy. but worries as in like. does so in her agni way and it may not come across as such?
40. do they enjoy poetry?
pen loves poetry he heard a lot of epics at home!! the stories were Less fun when it was about like, war and bloodshed and stuff, but he loved them when they were all pretty n flowery or like romantic 🥺
agni likes hearing poetry recited, especially when it has a specific repetitive syllable pattern she can get lost in!
52. from whom do they seek validation?
pen simply be like [wants validation from nobility noises]. its his Complexes. thats why being @ ravenloft rn is so... bad for him lol bc hes getting like all the positive attention from important people hes wanted for his entire life, oops. hes literally living out a dream being asked to dance with someone so important!! he also seeks validation a lot from like powerpful women bc of growing up with his mom and how much he looked up to her and cared about her, which manifests itself a lot w wanting attention from ori and jenny (and previously w lady wachter lol) and also the lady of delights. 
growing up agni sought validation from her mothers n instructors, now (while she still wants momsvalidation) she looks for validation mostly from herself, which is kind of bad bc she never feels fully satiated w her work n accomplishments! 
69. how would they describe their party members?
for pen: ori feels like an older sister to him, hes too scared to express as much, but yeah! she is warm (he means figuratively but also lol) and Kind and Competent and Smart and above all, Safe. he defintely feels like, the safest with her than anyone else he’s encountered in his life, both i mean in the physical protection sense but moreso the emotional sense! yeah. juni is.,, complicated. at first pen was uhhh scared of him bc of the whole Sorcerer Thing, but after all of them talked abt it at jenny’s, that feeling passed and he was more just concerned for him than anything. he is Powerful and Pretty and even though he’s been thru a lot of things pen himself cant even comprehend juni’s still Soft and Understanding and pen really admires that about him! alba is Also Complicated, for different reasons. pen thinks he is Reckless and Impulsive but also Smart in his own little scheme way, and pen really appreciates him as like a constant in his life? like yeah, he is scary and concerning sometimes but he’s always Predictably as such and while pen doesn’t see alba as all that loyal in general pen is kind of blind to that stuff when it comes to ppl in relation to him, so he’s just glad he’s met someone that wants to stick with him.
for agni: cyrus is so nice to her!! he feels like a capital f Friend in her head and so far like. she’s only had one of those before so thats really cool!! he helps her out a lot and she tries to do what she can to be there for him too! it was nice of him to teach her abt Beach Swimming. theo is really cool and agni loves seeing her in her element doing Medicine Stuff she thinks she is really smart w that kind of thing and rlly respects her practice, agni’s also very interested in her magic!! she thinks dendy is small little lizard guy who sings silly songs. greatly appreciates him. she wld follow kai blindly into terrible plans because she wants to make sure this cool teen is alright , is thankful to know he can turn into a bear at will and she didnt do that on accident that one time! amadeus is confusing and hard to keep track of in her head, but at the end of the day she thinks he’s very caring and just looking out for people. adaeze is really fun to hang out with and she is both concerned and greatly impressed w her just straight up downing one of fer’s Fucked Up And Evil Potions no questions asked, bc thats something even Agni’s too scared to do. thinks her sword is very interesting in terms of the arcane, wants to see what happens w all that! elvira is super different from anyone agni’s been around but she thinks she’s an amazing artist and would love to see her home bc she talks about it so vividly!! 
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daisybrien · 5 years
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pick ur poison: 001 for donovadam OR donovalex, 002 for either kernel or grubbs (im throwing him in there bc i want to hear u talk shit lol)
ur getting all of them
donovadam:
when I started shipping it if I did: silent night really just did that
my thoughts: THEY FUCKGIN LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH
What makes me happy about them: its good to know donovan and adam were able to find someone to watch their backs unconditionally in that hellhole, and were able to find that hope yknow?
What makes me sad about them: EVERYTHING ELSE
things done in fanfic that annoys me: its literally just My City Now
things I look for in fanfic: IM THE ONE WRITING IT
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: oh of course alex for donovan  bc that really is the bread and butter of the five books, and donzee? v good. otherwise idk much about adam but him and batek get along v well
My happily ever after for them: no prison. ms donovan p much takes in adam part time from his shitty family and they share holidays and christmas and everything and she teaches carl how to dance in the living room so they can dance at prom
who is the big spoon/little spoon: donovan/adam respectively
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: just chilling out man. i like the idea of like 1am mcdonalds runs being just super nice and quiet and calm bt them
donovalex:
when I started shipping it if I did: lockdown really just gets u from the get go
my thoughts: the original. the staple bread and butter. the icons. 
What makes me happy about them: donovan rlly is just that brilliant light in alexs life and in the context of silent night its good to see donovan learning to trust someone in that hellhole again.
What makes me sad about them: i could open to any page of solitary right now and just start bawling
things done in fanfic that annoys me: we have like crumbs in this department but some ppl really just be freaks.
things I look for in fanfic: legit only things written by me catalina or steph bc i cant trust the rest of yall!!!
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: adam for donovan, absolutely, alex and his pile of boys but also wrt alzee. oh my god they were soulmates
My happily ever after for them: just the au of the whole gang together. nothing to worry about. 
who is the big spoon/little spoon: donovan/alex resp.
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: watching zee fucking lose it at their oblivious pining
kernel:
How I feel about this character: YOU DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER MY BOY
All the people I ship romantically with this character: the godt3 is good but theres really no one else
My non-romantic OTP for this character: him and nadia were rlly good friends im so upset
My unpopular opinion about this character: nothing counts as unpopular but like LET HIM KEEP HIS FUCKING EYES MAN
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: if he actually got his time to shine instead of having to stew in his bitterness and sadness, getting to actually really be happy and surrounded by friends and family, ANYTHING DECENT
my OTP: ^^
my cross over ship: him and donovan lol
a headcanon fact: the others make sure annabelle live in the new universe 
the grubbster:
How I feel about this character: he really is a nicer brick thomas isnt he
All the people I ship romantically with this character: godt3 and man he couldnt have just had that awkward teen date w reni huh
My non-romantic OTP for this character: loch but if loch were like a decent person
My unpopular opinion about this character: contrary to your belief, catalina, i actually really enjoyed grubbs!! it is your portrait of him. specifically! that makes me fucking dry heave. i hate it!!! i cant smell the body spray and BO wafting off him!! i can hear the ‘u up?’ text he sends to reni!! i can hear him call loch a f*g echoing off the school lockers!! I HATE THAT THIS SINGLE PORTRAIT GIVES ME SUCH A VISCERAL REACTIONS
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: if he actually stayed like. a decent person. real shit darren could really have gone in on the internal conflict between human and wolf but nah he was just ‘guess hes wolf now’ and turned him into a certified bastard
my OTP: ^^
my cross over ship: him and simon or brick lmao
a headcanon fact: im just putting this here. good job dervish
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fymoanstax · 6 years
Text
Deokspatch X: Haunted House
Request: Hello! Could you do Monsta X going into a haunted house (deokspatch x style?) With a staff member (Y/N) and Y/N tries to go in all tough but at the end shes hiding in the boys back and won't let go of them, and the boys are like "I want this cute smol squish to be mine" and tries to woo her. I hope this makes sense! ~Hiding
Here you go! We hope you like it! 
~Admin Wonhoe and Admin Hyungwon
Shownu/Hyunwoo (Written By: Admin Wonhoe)
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Zombies. Oh man why did it have to be zombies.
When the guys picked their haunted house/escape room thing randomly you had thanked every god watching over you that the other guys didn’t choose you.
There were some really scary themes. Chainsaw murderer. Abandoned prison. Dark Night in the woods.
But Shownu chose you and he pulled Zombie Maze.
And you are,,,,,,,,,,scared of zombies
Like terrified actually
You might have watched too many ‘documentaries’ about how the undead could reanimate one day
And you watched zombie movies with your friends despite being scared
But Shownu chose you to assist and you were going because mama didn’t raise a little bitch
Halfway through you change your mind IMMEDIATELY
Because mama DID NOT raise a little bitch
She raised a BIG BITCH
You were literally cowering in fear right behind Shownu
Because his current mission was to get the key
The key was in an open room
With a zombie(actor obviously) standing inside of it
And Shownu wanted,,,,to,,,,,,,go,,,,in,,there
As a staff member you knew that they wouldn't touch you, you were there when all the paperwork and stuff was signed
But as Y/N you were freaking out
Shownu noticed and pulled you off to the side
But the cameras were still rolling because any content is good content
“Are you alright?”
You nodded your head but the look on you face didn’t quite convince him
“You don’t have to go in with me. I can do it myself. “
“Yeah okay….I mean I totally would go in but this is your mission and all you know. I know where everything is I’m not scared or anything. Good luck.”
So Shownu does try to get into the room and you just chill against this gate thing
And you watch him struggle for a few minutes then he disappears into the room
You kinda chill and try to ignore all the other staff members that are standing behind cameras or just watching this go down
And out of literally nowhere
A HAND POPS OUT OF THE CHAIN FENCE THING
AND WHEN YOU TURN YOUR HEAD
ZOMBIE
You scream so loud and run away from the chain fence thing so fast
You run straight into Shownu’s chest. His very hard very defined chest. Wow he must work out a lot how did you not notice this befo---waIT
If these zombies were popping out. And Shownu had the key...that meant
Your eyes widen in realization and you kind of pat your hand against his chest urgently, “Shownu Shownu Shownu we have to go we have to run!!”
He’s kind of confused???? Why are you literally SHAking right now
“Shownu! Run! The rest of the mission is to escape the zombies. There’s a gate that’s locked by a padlock and you have the key!”
Suddenly out of nowhere at least a dozen zombies (actors obv) start running at you from the door you entered and you’re like frozen in fear
Shownu notices AND suddeNLY you’re in HIS ARMS.
He has physically picked you up bridal style
And is SPRINTING through the maze.
Zombies are jumping out left and right but they’re not affecting him at all
He like has no fear
And you’re just clinging onto him and wow his muscles are RLLY out here you know
Okay nevermind back to you being scared out of your wits because he has put you down near the gate
But your back is kinda towards the gate and shownu is kind of using his own body to shield yours while he frantically tries to put the key in the padlock
And he’s breathing kinda heavy bc he just ran while carrying you and wow he looks like a WHOLE man
But anyway he’s successful and he get the two of you out of that whole haunted house thing and you don’t know why but your legs kind of give out under you even if you didn’t run but you attribute it to fear so you just lay on the ground
And Shownu is next to you in .0001 seconds and the two of you laugh
Shownu turns his head to you with a smile and he just
“You know I was only scared one time during that whole thing?”
“I couldn’t even tell you were scared.”
“I got scared when you screamed because I thought you were hurt or something.”
Oh my gosh are you blushiNG??? The answer is yes.
Anyway literally this whole thing was filmed and you’re so embarrassed when you’re watching it later but everyone else thinks its so cute. The other members. The other staff. EVEN FANS.
Wow. Incredible.
Wonho/Hoseok (Written By: Admin Wonhoe)
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Just two friends. Sitting in a cell in an abandoned prison. Waiting for the cue to start so you can escape!
Okay so you’re sitting with wonho on this creaky, uncomfortable prison bed
And suddenly there’s a loud alarm kinda like what would happen if there was an escaped convict or something you know
(We are Pristin!) Wee woo wee woo wee
Lockdown
Lol fun times right
W R O N G
Bc deokspatch x is apparently rlly rich and the budget is sky high so they had enough money to pay actual ppl to pretend to be PRISONERS
And and and maybe they ALL ESCAPED THEIR CELLS
THEY ALL LOOK SO CONVINCING
And why did they all have weapons
This vaguely reminded you of the time wonho was in sistar’s music video and he had a pink police outfit with a police baton wowowow
Wait no don’t think about that now.
You need to assist wonho in escaping
But wonho is literally having no trouble
Like he’s weaving in and out of people and you’re struggling to catch up up bc
“Wonho, I have shorter legs than you slow down before I get-”
And suddenly you’re GONE
Like you can’t see anything and you were pulled away
You tried resisting but this person was v strong
And you coulDNT SCREAM
WHAT IS THIS THIS IS A FAMILY FRIENDLY SERIES WHY WERE YOU BEING ADULTNAPPED
When you’re finally let free and you can see again you’re in this like room place that looks like a DUNGEON (but its not) and its rlly small you can tell
You don’t even see who adultnapped you
Maybe you’re freaking out a little
A lot actually
Its also dark
And you begin feeling around the small room and you finally grab something familiar
Its a walkie talkie
You use these things all the time with other staff members
So you turn it on and talk into it
“...Hello?”
And small tv in the wall turns on and there’s static and then it clears up and the thing on screen makes you ?!?!?!?!?1?!?1/1/1
“Lets play a game.”
OH HECK NO
YOU DID NOT SIGN UP TO PLAY WITH JIGSAW
“HEllo whoever is on the other end of this WALKIE TALKIE BETTER RESPOND BEFORE I QUITE LITERALLY DIE”
“Y/N. IS THAT YOU?”
“WONHO! It’s me”
“What happened to you? Where did you go?”
“You were walking too fast for me to keep up. I was adultnapped and now jigsaw is out to MURDER ME.”
“Does this have anything to do with my mission?”
“Above you there is a bucket full of an unknown substance.”
You look up and sure enough THERE IS A BUCKET HOLY SHIT
“Your partner must make it through the prison in the dark, retrieve the key card from a prisoner in solitary confinement, and find the room you’re in in under 30 minutes or else the contents of the bucket will be dumped over you. Good luck.”
WHAT THE FUkc
“Wonho did you hear the same message as I did?”
Before Wonho responds there’s a rlly loud bang and every single light goes out and you didn’t think it could get any darker but IT IS PITCH BLACK NOW
You’re,,,,,,,,,,,,extremely scared of the dark.
But you’re not going to let wonho know that
Wait why were you even in this situation
YOU WERE JUST A STAFF MEMBER
When they told you you were going to have a very important role today you didn’t think they meant this
“Wonho no pressure or anything but 30 minutes isn’t a lot of time and I don’t want to be drenched in whatever is in that bucket. Could be ketchup. Syrup. Water. Paint. Please you know do this fast.”
Ummm a couple of many minutes pass and you’re sitting in the dark curled up in a little ball with your eyes shut.
Why hasn’t wonho responded?????
OH YEAH MAYBE BECAUSE HE’S GOING THROUGH A SEA OF PRISONERS IN THE DARK
You feel like this mission was destined for failure from the start
Every once in a while you hear Wonho breathing into the walkie talkie probably trying to get in some words before something crazy happens.
Deokspatch x is wiLD
The next time the walkie talkie makes a noise wonho gets the chance to talk but he’s breathing heavily
“I just,,,,ran up,,,,,,,,,4 flights of stairs for,,,,,,,,,,,,,you”
“I’m supposed to be helping you but they’re using me like A PROP. GET ME OUT OF HERE.”
“I’m working on it. Are you okay?”
“Besides the fact that it’s incredibly dark and I’m not fond of the dark I’m fine.”
“I’ll get you out. I promise.”
“You’re making this sound like some kind of drama just come get me before I have a break down.”
You were going to look at your watch to see how much time he had left but oh yeah YOU CANT SEE
You get up and go to the door because you’re sure someone is out there
“HOW MUCH TIME DOES HE HAVE LEFT YOU TRAITORS.”
“2 minutes.” Oh wow so casual about it not even- waiT
2 MINUTES?!?!?!?1
You kind of begin to count down in your head from the point where they tell you he has 2 minutes left
It’s a little nerve wracking
1 minute 30 seconds
1 minute
30 seconds
20 seconds
And that’s when you hear someone shuffling about outside
“Wonho is that you?”
“Um,,,,,yes but there are also many many doors and it’s still dark so keep talking to me so I can find you.”
“There are literally only 20 seconds left Wonho. Just swipe the card through every one!”
“I can’t even see the thing!”
“WONHO GET ME OUT OF HERE.”
You were restless at this point. It had been a whole 30 minutes almost that you were locked in this room in the dark and you weren’t having any of it.
But you heard some whirring and you realize the the bucket was beginning to tip over and it wasn’t a small bucket it was kinda big so it would hit you no matter where you stood.
So you start banging on the door so wonho can find the right one
And you hear the card swipe through the keypad
And it dings
And it turns green
And you celebrate because he got the door open
Except wonho notices the bucket is still tilting
But you don’t
“Y/N!”
He quite literally pushes you down under him and kinda covers you with his own body
And then there’s a splash and you do get wet but it’s not like you’re soaked or anything
But you feeldripping and that’s when you realize that Wonho has saved you from what smells and looks like milk because its white and really freaking cold
You turn your head to the rest of the staff
“YOU GUYS ARE JERKS FOR USING ME LIKE THIS”
You notice Wonho shivering so you ask him to take his wet jacket off but boy was that a mistake
It was like you were at a wet tshirt contest and he was the only contestant
Ding ding we have a winner
Anyway even though you know it won’t fit him you hand over your own jacket and he thanks you
But he still cold
So you hug him
And you’re obv much warmer than he is so he kinda embraces you back but tighter
And it’s rlly cute
And everyone awwww’s
But you’re just glaring at them
“Are you okay? I know you’re afraid of the dark so I tried to get to you as fast as possible. Sorry I took so long though.”
You MELT
HES SUCH A SWEETEHEART
“I’ll live. Thanks, Wonho”
Can you believe wonho just wants to protecc and love you forever
God what a sweetie pie muffin baby love cake precious man.
Minhyuk (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)
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Minhyuk was kind of scared of doing this little haunted house thing by himself, but he calmed down a little when realizing that you would be there.
Like he was so relieved that he did not have to be alone during this.
Like yeah he had to work through the room himself, but at least he wouldn’t be scared out of his mind.
You on the other hand were terrified.
You had no idea really when actors would jump out and stuff like that. You just knew the answers to all the problems.
Plus there was spiders.
They were fake but it still freaked you out.
But were you about to show your fear in front of Monsta X’s very own Minhyuk?
No, you sure as hell weren’t.
So you tried to keep your cool, leaning against anything that could be leaned against.
Staying away from Minhyuk bc you were actually gripping your own arm really tightly and it was obvious.
You guys were at a particularly spidery place and it was freaking you out, but like he had a clue in here and you just had to power through.
He was powering through and like it kinda impressed you because how can someone be so calm during this.
Well, he was cracking jokes the entire time so that might’ve helped.
In this part though, he couldn’t find the clue.
Like of all the places that he had trouble finding a clue it had to be in the one that you’re pretty sure you had nightmares about when you were a kid.
But you were there to help him so you couldn’t really like just leave when he now needed help.
“Hey Y/N I can’t find this one thing do you think you can help—”
Before he could finish his question a (fake) spider fell from the ceiling and in front of you and you let out a huge squeak and crouched down to try and avoid it.
But like, you just...crouched...so it was just hovering above you….
Luckily for Minhyuk that’s where the clue was lol
You knew it was on a spider but like...not that it had to fall from the ceiling.
You were pretty shook and Minhyuk really saw that.
When you opened your eyes you saw Minhyuk crouching in front of you, looking worried.
“Are you...afraid of spiders?”
You just stared at him bc like no shit sherlock, but you still gotta put up your front, so you just stand up and dust off your shirt.
“I’m fine I just got sc—”
You heard the sound effects of spiders and yelped, grabbing onto Minhyuk’s arm on instinct.
He looked at you, clutching onto his arm and (he lowkey found it adorable) just kind of gave you a look.
“Yes I’m afraid of spiders!”
He laughed, but you didn’t let go of his arm.
“It’s fine I’ll protect you.”
You glared at him but let it go
“Okay let’s go. You got the clue now let’s just do the thing and leave.”
He laughed at your urgency and just kept walking.
At this point you didn’t even hide that you were scared.
You just followed Minhyuk around, clutching at the back of his shirt so that he wouldn’t leave you behind.
He’d slow down and let you catch up.
Tbh he was really acting all tough bc he had promised to protect you and god damn it he was gonna do that bc you are a smol bean.
At some point, after you had accidentally tugged his shirt too hard and he almost fell backwards, he used that as an excuse to do some hand holding.
So yes, this is Minhyuk, holding your hand, because you are scared of spiders. Can you believe it?
He holds your hand throughout the entirety of his mission and by the end of it you’re kinda embarrassed?
You go to take your hand back but then he just smiles at you and squeezes your hand.
“Hey, if you ever need anyone to hold your hand for whatever reason, I’m your guy.”
You scream. (internally)
Kihyun (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)
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Honestly, you didn’t want to be chosen for this because you sure as hell knew that you would be crying.
You didn’t hide fear very well.
But of course that meant you had to go.
You just hoped it'd be for something simple like the woods.
Nope.
Killer clowns.
Kihyun had picked killer clowns.
And then had picked you to help him.
You almost died right there.
When it came to it though, you told yourself that you'd act all tough and prove to yourself you wouldn't get scared.
3 seconds in, you heard a clown laugh and you clutched onto Kihyun so quick that you scared him more than the actual clowns.
“Uhh…..Y/N are you okay?”
“I'm fine! Just keep going!”
You were not fine.
You kept trying to let go of his arm but you also kept immediately latching onto him again.
Kihyun noticed that and from his point of view you looked like a scared kitten
It was comforting bc he was also scared.
But he was trying his hardest to hide it.
“How are you not scared? There are clowns everywhere.”
Kihyun was very confused?
Were you that scared that you didn’t notice him nearly about to just start running?
“Are you kidding me, I’m terrified. I haven’t even gotten the mission yet!”
Your heart dropped when you remembered where the mission card was supposed to be given to him by one of the clowns.
He noticed your expression and got very worried.
“It’s uh…..with a clown…..”
He looked at you like that was the worst possible thing but like
If you were afraid of the clowns
And he was afraid of the clowns
Who was going to talk to the clowns????
In the 30 seconds you two just stood there staring at each other, he realized that wow.
He really didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of you.
So if he had to talk to a clown with a chainsaw, pretend to not be terrified (despite already admitting he was), and then do the mission, then so be it.
“Okay. Let's get my mission from a clown.”
You went to cheer for him but instead a clown jumped out right behind you.
So naturally you screamed and found yourself hugging Kihyun tightly.
He honestly did not know what to do with himself.
A cute girl is hugging him and all he can do is like not freak out bc
1) A CUTE GIRL IS HUGGING HIM And
2) the clown jumping out scared him too
He decided to hug you back bc you were actually shaking.
“Oh hey there's the mission.”
He took the paper from the clown, while still hugging you with his other arm.
It was cold outside but like...he was v warm????
Also, he just stayed hugging you so it made you warm and you guess part of your shaking was because you were cold bc that slightly got better.
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“You know what my mission is right?”
“.....yeah.”
“How exactly do I bring back a clown mask that isn’t being used?”
“Very carefully?”
He sighed and started walking again, but his grip on you tightened.
Granted, you didn’t exactly let go of him either, but you expected that he’d like...stop hugging you.
“I can let go if it’ll speed things up”
“Nah. You seem less scared like this.”
But also he was less scared like that?
(Also again, he got to hug a cute girl lol)
You guys walked like that until he did eventually find the mask.
“Here, hold this.”
He picked up the mask and went to place it on your face but before he could a clown jumped out from behind a tree and screamed at you two.
You both gunned it.
Kihyun had let go of you and you had let go of Kihyun but hey, he got the mask.
You saw him look around as he ran and realized he slowed down a little which confused you a little
Until he actually grabbed your hand and ran faster, making sure you weren’t slipping away.
Like boy really slowed down to save you to make sure you weren’t killed by a killer clown.
Okay you were both overreacting bc the clown stopped following you guys like right as you started running.
But when you got back to the starting point you were both out of breath, and like the crew and the rest of the boys were just staring at you two.
Suddenly, you felt something be placed on your head?
It was Kihyun’s hand.
“Are you okay?”
You nod, and then a heavier thing is placed on your head.
“There. I was right. You are still pretty cute with a clown mask on.”
At least that mask hid how red your face was
And your embarrassment of being terrified of clowns of all things and then immediately clinging onto Kihyun.
Whatever, he called you cute.  
Jooheon (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)
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When Jooheon chose you to accompany him, you were kind of relieved because like he seemed so sure that he was going to not be scared.
Like even when he pulled the ‘ghosts’ card, he didn’t seem phased.
In fact, he was p cocky about the whole ordeal.
But it reassured you at least that this would be an easy thing.
“Hey Y/N, you scared?”
He grinned at you, walking with you to the steps of the house.
“Nah.”
Ghosts didn’t really scare you?
So you thought maybe you’d be fine.
But really, you were actually scared of ghosts.
You just downplayed it in your memories, but watching ghost movies made you not sleep for days.
So there you two were, about to head into a house that was filled with ghosts meant to terrify you.
You knew where the mission card was, of course.
But you could only help when he was really stuck.
You didn’t expect the scaring to happen so early though.
Like you two just walked into the house and when you passed the second room, an actress walked out from the end of the hallway, towards you.
It was then you remembered that you were actually terrified of ghosts.
But apparently Mr. I-Won’t-Be-Scared over there was also terrified.
Because boy took off running the other direction.
Screaming.
Louder than you were screaming.
You ran to follow him though bc you were not bouta be left alone there.
But as you were running there came another ghost????
Like heading right towards you????
You were literally about to run into him when you felt yourself get pulled away.
You turned to look and there stood Jooheon himself, looking slightly red.
“You said you wouldn’t be scared!”
You immediately tell him.
“So did you!”
“They’re terrifying! I didn’t think they’d be!”
“That makes two of us!”
You guys just go back and forth about how you rlly didn’t think it’d be this scary until the director physically has to call you and tell you two to keep going.
“Okay at least we don’t have to pretend that we’re not scared.”
You reassure him, but really it was an excuse for you to like, not suffer silently.
“Here, hold my hand.”
Jooheon offered his hand and you looked at him weird.
“Why?”
“So if we have to run again we won’t get separated!”
“Okay yeah good idea.”
This obviously wasn’t a ploy for him to hold your hand ;)
Actually, it really wasn’t.
Boy was just trying to get you and him out there alive.
Finally, you both made it to the room where his mission card was.
But when you walked in, a ghost popped out from inside the closet and you swear you were about to just like die.
But get this.
Jooheon pushed you behind him.
Like the ghost popped out, and his immediate instinct was to make sure you were behind him.
The ghost wasn’t like...moving...it was just watching you two.
So Jooheon kept eye contact with the ghost, moving slowly, but still making sure you were right behind him.
He actually ushered you to grab onto his arm.
So you did.
It was v muscular and if you didn’t just almost die 2 seconds ago you would have admired it more.
Anyway, he walked slowly, making sure the ghost didn’t like suddenly scream, took the mission card, and then slowly walked out the room.
You felt him relax as soon as you two were out.
“Okay. Now we can get this over w— I have to hug the ghost inside that room.”
“I...forgot that was the mission.”
“Y/N. If I die from fright, just know that—”
“Oh my God, Jooheon, please just hug the ghost so we can L E A V E.”
He just laughed and made his way back into the room, with you following behind him.
Jooheon was rlly just delaying it bc like what if the ghost screamed.
He’d scream too.
And then he knew that you’d scream too and he rlly felt bad that he left you behind that one time, making you more scared than necessary.
Eventually, he gave the actor a hug.
And he didn’t scream, so that was good.
But immediately after, Jooheon grabbed your hand and just made his way out.
Ghosts kept trying to pop out but Jooheon was not having it.
He just held your hand tighter and like just didn't look at the people bc he would have screamed and he was not bout to do that while holding your hand.
He looked back at you, grinning, and it made you laugh for some reason.
When you two made it outside, both of you were laughing.
“Hey, Y/N.”
Before you could answer he just….pulled you into a huge bear hug.
“Jooheon???”
Your voice was muffled bc your face was in his shirt.
“I felt like you needed that hug more than the ghost.”
“Well in that case so do you!”
So you two just stand there.
Hugging each other.
He was a good hugger.
Hyungwon (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)
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You really thought Hyungwon would be the one that’s super scared.
Like, you expected him to be running and screaming and everything.
Especially when he pulled out the chainsaw/axe murderer card.
And you knew the mission to that was to physically find the chainsaw and the axe and bring it back.
Sounds easy enough.
Except there’s actors that are chasing you.
And you hate those kinds of movies bc you know you’d die.
But, you just have to be brave now and not pee your pants.
Especially since Hyungwon is,,,,,,not scared,,,,,at all,,,,,
He’s making conversation with you, and you’re scared it’ll tip off the murderers where you’re at.
Okay, you know it’s fake but like it definitely feels like a life or death situation.
He's just, talking, trying to find the mission card.
Suddenly, you hear the rev of a chainsaw and that's when his composure shatters.
“What was that?”
“A chainsaw"
“Like….a real one?????”
“It's okay I'm p sure it's one of those safe chainsaws.”
You mean….they wouldn't use…..real chainsaws right?
When that passed, Hyungwon was,,,,,not scared again.
But you were on your toes, ready to sprint when needed.
“Hey are you okay?”
Hyungwon asks when he sees that you are very much cowering.
You say nothing bc you don't even know if you have the ability to speak.
“Is there anything I can do?”
Before he actually finished that sentence the chainsaw rev started up again, but this time it was right next to you two and there was a guy w a chainsaw.
In a glimpse, you saw hyungwon put his fists up, looking ready to fight. But you didn't stick around long enough to see if he did.
You fucking ran.
Like there was nothing that could stop you.
Except maybe like, Hyungwon grabbing your arm to slow you down.
“Hey hey he just had the mission. I got it.”
You catch your breath and look at him, seeing he had a piece of paper in his hands.
“Also how about this. You can just hold onto me. So it'll relieve your fear. And if anything scares you I'll just fight them.”
You laughed bc like he was p scrawny and the chainsaw man was maybe twice his weight.
You did take up on his offer though, and you grabbed onto his sleeve.
You honestly looked like a little kid.
Holding onto an adults sleeve so you wouldn't get lost.
But listen. You didn't know this but hyungwon was just really trying so hard to not freak out
Like you're freaking out enough for the both of you.
He just wants to make sure you're okay.
You looked worried from the second he picked you to assist him.
So he tried to tell jokes, make conversation, and try not to fight the chainsaw guy.
But you were still very scared.
He was relieved when you took his sleeve bc you looked less scared then.
Getting to the axe and chainsaw was more you being jumpy every time you heard a sound,rather than anything else.
But you guys did make it to the stuff.
“Okay I'll just grab these then we'll just leave.”
You nod and let go of his sleeve as he went to get the things.
But it seemed like that's what the actors were planning.
The moment you were alone, the two actors surrounded you, revving the chainsaw and swinging that axe.
You like plopped down on the floor.
That was your defense mechanism.
That's how you knew you'd die in a real situation like this.
But also since you were on the ground the view was scarier bc all you saw was chainsaw.
So you closed your eyes.
And then you heard screaming…..
The screaming got closer, and then you felt yourself get lifted up, and you were moving.
The screaming continued though.
You opened your eyes to see that hyungwon had lifted you up and started running away, while screaming in terror.
And he just kept running.
Eventually he stopped screaming though.
When he got back to the entrance, he put you down on your feet.
“Did you just bridal carry me out of a forest while screaming bloody murder?”
“Yeah I think I did. You're not scared now at least.”
“No, I'm not.”
Did he really do all that so you wouldn't be scared????
Yeah he did. Wow.
“Hey Hyungwon.”
Changkyun was laughing, very much enjoying what had just happened.
“You didn't do your mission.”
He looked at changkyun, and then at a nearby camera.
“Fuck.”
I.M/Changkyun (Written By: Admin Wonhoe)
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Okay so you were currently standing in the middle of some woods
You knew it was a fenced off area, it was actually a dome, because you came in through a gate and you saw the edge of the dome with your own two eyes
But it must be a huge area
Because you were driven to the center in a golf cart
You were also,,,,,,,,,handcuffed to changkyun???
And it was night but you only had a measly head lamp
Changkyun was given a card and when he read it he seemed confident
“It says that we’re being hunted and that we have to find a bow and 6 arrows before we can escape”
“What’s hunting you?”
“Us. What’s hunting us.”
“I’m not part of this!”
“You’re handcuffed to me.”
“...Valid point.”
“Anyway all it says that we’re being hunted by a flesh hungry animal.”
Out of nowhere you hear a growl and Changkyun screams so loud but his voice is rlly deep so it sounds like another growl to you and you try to run but you’re HANDCUFFED TO CHANGKYUN
So instead you cling to him.
“Okay okay, I have an idea. We can find the edge of the dome and then we can climb up the dome and just dangle there for 24 hours and they’ll get the hint eventually..”
You facepalm with your free hand
“We are NOT climbing or hanging from anywhere. We have to find the bow and arrows.”
“But the flesh hungry animal is gonna get us!!!!”
“But nothing Changkyun, we are going to finish this mission and get out of here”
By now you’ve noticed that you’re clinging onto him so you let go and put some distance between the two of you
“This is MY mission.”
“Yeah well like you said  we’re (all) in this together.”
Reluctantly Changkyun follows as you begin walking around from tree to tree and bush to bush to find the things you needed to collect
“WAIT. There’s a key for the handcuffs and I know where it is!”
“Where is it?”
“It….should be,,,,,,,,,,,,hanging from a  tree.”
“THERE ARE SO MANY TREES Y/N.”
“We could go with the alternative option”
“What is that.”
“I can chop your hand off.”
“Y/N!”
The two of you are startled by a growling noise once again which you catch on is a sign to get the show on the road.
“I could let you in on a little secret.”
“What is that?”
“These aren’t real.” You hear the staff groan as you pull your hand out of the handcuff and begin running away.
Changkyun is quick though so he doesn’t lose sight of you
But what you didn’t expect to happen while you were running
Was for your headlamp to shut off.
WHILE YOU WERE RUNNING
You stop immediately and Changkyun crashes right into you causing his headlamp to fall off and break
It is now completely dark
“Good going changkyun! WAIT SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED ME”
Changkyun is now wildly punching and kicking around himself
“I hit something!”
You
He hit you
“THAT WAS ME.”
Another roar has the two of you magically running into each other's arms despite not being able to see each other.
“THAT WAS NOT ME.”
“Let’s go!”
Changkyun grabs your hand and begins running in any random direction. Was this mission even possible this area was so big
You’re literally walking around for at least twenty minutes with no luck.
There are a few scares
One time Changkyun ends up jumping in your arms and the two of you fall to the ground because you weren’t expecting it
Another time the two of you are trying so desperately to escape whatever it is chasing you that you literally sabotage and sacrifice each other
Changkyun trips you
You tell him to look somewhere while you run away
He manages to climb a tree but is too scared to jump down so you tell him you’ll catch him but he just ends up falling on top of you
“SOMETHING JUST BIT ME”
“Sorry that was me...Shownu lets me do it when I’m nervous.”
You guys were a mess
But anyway you were also having no luck
Like 40 minutes into filming the staff all laughs at something and you and changkyun are confused while trying to get twigs and leaves out of his hair after he fell while trying to lean against a tree
“What’s going on?”
“We forgot to set up the most important part of the mission. Someone found the bow and arrows back in one of the prop cars…”
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME.”
You and Changkyun are like so done with this whole thing
They let you out and you’re both pouty and mad about it
Like a week later you’re watching the edited versions of all of the haunted houses and stuff like that and Changkyun’s comes up and its basically just a whole 10 minutes of you and him getting into a whole lot of shenanigans (+screaming)
You know those little sound effects and filters and effects they do on stuff like that well there are plenty of those
And you and Changkyun laugh at each other while watching it and you’re sitting rlly close to one another
And at scary parts you kinda grab his hand or scoot closer and its super cute
And Changkyun just lets you because he needs to protect you and make sure you’re safe
And yeah
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bluebuckstallion · 6 years
Text
hey not 2 be moody or anyth but im gnna vent a lil bit
so uh. the last few days i was @ my dads i was rlly delusional n erratic nd i saw way more shit than i usually do (along w auditory bs) and i literally didnt sleep at all most nights,, 3 hrs or less which is weird for me during summer,, esp @ my dads. but anyways, on the way to meet my mom he got rlly pissed ovr smth trivial and i jus,, couldnt stop flinching bc god its not like he was gnna hurt me but literally any man raisng his voice makes me cry almost instantly when its tht close to my fuckn ears especially when it was literally unexpected n long story short he said i was rlly goddamn lazy or whatever n we didnt talk for an hour n a half lol it was a shitty carride
and on top of tht. i found out tht half my house burnt down while i was gone! the ac caught on fire. so we were (are) living in a fuckn hotel again, jus like in december-march, lol. my mom couldnt take the rats anywhre so we assumed they died from smoke inhalation (my cats n one of my dogs already got fuckd up over tht) but. yea. we had to keep all 4 of the cats outside during the scorching heat n we managed to take the dogs w us but damn. n on top of tht my uncle is back on heroin n he was presumed dead for 6 days, after stealing my grandmas only mode of transportation n fleeing for the va border. th only contact we had from him was him cussing my mom out (good on him tbh) and on top of THT my grandmas fucked bc she put out a report on her truck being missing n then revoked it so shes in trouble for harboring/helping a fugitive lmao,,, n at this point we can only assume tht my uncle might be dead so yeet
also th person im engaged to is prolly gonna break up w me but im too scared to even talk to them bc ive been tryng so hard to ignore the fact they traumatized me physically but wtver! its cool i guess. they keep talking abt killing themselves
anyways thts jus the small stuff. on top of tht, ive been blacking out way more thn usual when i drink nd apparently ive been fighting my mom every time i drink aswell so??? yah thts had a shit ton of bad consequences
n my favorite thing in the entire world, my cat peach, literally got her torso n below mauled, and its so bad tht shes on morphine n we cant afford her bills even w the red cross helping us. she dislocated her hip or smth and its rlly fucking bad bc jesus tht cat is my baby shes the only thing i care abt ive genuinely never loved smth so much and ik its dumb but idk what im gonna do if we have to put her down bc thats still smth tht might happen and honestly i jus dont fucking know what im gonna do if we put her down. shes my baby
before she got attacked tho, the same dog almost ripped off my other cats ear n rlly fucked up his head but hes healed a bit so its cool. th same dog attacked my other cat too but hes recovered already. n we dont know who owns the dog bc we havent seen it (our neighbor has been keeping us up to date n shes been trying to feed n water th animals)
my Other cat got stolen for a couple of days n the police might get involved over it lol,, they took him for awhile n hes back now but he was missing for ages. ppl have tried to take one of my other cats too bc hes an f4 bengal,, they sell for a lot,, but hes managed to evade it. th other one probably got taken bc hes a kitten n rlly naive. but hey the good news is my animals havnt died yet
also! i start school on monday! lol! everythngs going rlly great
idk more shit happened but im still trying to process a lot of stuff bc eugh
long story short: was rlly delusional n erratic+audio/visual hallucinations n getting no sleep, so i was practically on suicide watch again, stunted my already horrible relationship w my dad, found out half my house burnt down, assumed most of my animals tht got left behind were dead, living in a hotel again w my 6yo brother+mom+3 animals n relapsing a lot, i black out most nights but when i wake up i usually find out ive fought someone n self harmed a lot n face the consequences, person im engaged to might break up w me but i cant msg them to find out bc i get anxious bc i relive trauma they caused tht rlly fucked me up sexually, uhhhh my uncle is a fugitive and might be dead, hes using heroin again, my grandma is in trouble for harboring+helping a fugitive bc she put out a report on the truck he stole from her n then revoked it, found out my favorite living thing in the world (my cat peach) might have to be put down n im rlly unstable over it, she got attacked by a dog rlly brutally along w two of my other cats n the fourth one got stolen, im gnna have to deal w one of my friends havng feelings for me but i rlly dont want to confront it and i start my frst year of high school in 3 days! hooray
edit: ALSO i might have to confront th fact a girl i havent talkd to in abt 3 mnths tht i had a thing going on w is rlly unstable and i dont know if shes alive lol!
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chaekkung · 6 years
Note
o wormie? u? in a lot of love? perfect i don't think i've asked u yet but (if ur free) could u talk about why/how you started loving changkyun/hyungwon (or both :-D) ?? pls ramble as much as u like!! read more exists 4 a reason and . i love reading ppl b soft and in love it's cute!!!!! i love u have a good night/day ! 💛💛
o holy shit thats a lot ok im gonna write about changkyun since i Havent... :( and ill copy pasta one of my hyungwon essays for u to read!!!! the changkyun will be under it :^) this is gonna be Super Long im sorrie in advance LMAO BUT HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT TOO!!!! :D (also theres prob gonna be a lot of typos bc im Dumb but.. bear w/ me)
mister chae:
honestly i don’t even know where to start?? uhh i guess with his looks first since,, this is describing or smthing,, anyways yeah hyungwon is just… fucking beautiful. he has the most handsome and visually attractive face ive ever seen in my whole life??? and i’ve stanned a lot of groups in my past before but hyungwon is honestly one of the best looking man i know :( im not even being biased,,, anyways yeah there’s that. and he’s like naturally a model, i mean he can legit wear anything and do anything and he’ll look like he’s posing for a high end magazine, not surprised if he’s been modeling since he was like, born. also he has the most beautiful and endearing smile and laugh…. when he smiles he really goes from :o -> :D like!! please!! you are too fucking cute,,, :((( he really lights up the entire room solely w his smile im jusT?? wow?? like when his smile lines by the sides of his nose down to the corner of his mouth come out i just,,,, really… need 2 calm my heart. he has like the closed mouth wide smile, and the straight up whole face smile!! and i.. love both.. so much,,, and yeah anyways his lips are like the first thing people notice about him and big mood?? they’re so plump and … kissable.. and soft.. but my favorite feature on him are his eyes tbh…. idk he has really beautiful eyes? idk how to describe it but like, they’re so…. kind? and bright.. it’s just i want to look into them all day long and im just… so in love with his eyes. like,, they really hold all the stars in my universe wtf!!!  :( OH AND I DONT TALK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH BUT…. HIS EARS ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE WTF I WANT A MOLD OF HIS EARS ON MY DESK,,, idk about others but i personally find his right ear cute as fuck?? like the extra folds in his ears.. i would d*e for them………. godksj why is everything about him so cute i just?? want to kno …
ok now im going to talk about him!!! so his personality, is what i really fell in love with,, (god this all sounds so.. cliche. but it’s.. true, also unrelated but every time someone talked about,, love cliches and shit i was always like ‘sounds fake’ but???? after hyungwon i really?? believe in all of that..) if i had to use one word to describe him it would just be ‘kind’… like he!!! is!!! the king of being considerate and compassionate and wonderful and he’s just a really good person.. :( he’s the one you can always count on and lean on. he’d always be on your side and makes you feel safe and comforted,, like he’s really full of love??? even the members said he’s a really good listener and they chose as him as someone they go to when they’re feeling down because he makes them feel better about the situation (god, i wish they were me,,) and he has the most beautiful heart… like, he’s been wearing the Sewol bracelet since as long as we’ve known and he has never missed a day. you can always see it during fansigns, vlives, whenever he’s out, and he even wore it when he was modeling under his clothes… :(( he went from the charm, to the rope bracelet thing, to the clip on and now he’s wearing the wristband!! :(((((( he says he will always wear it to remember the incident, and he has been for over two years… he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart and not to show anyone… he said he felt so helpless during the time, and watching every thing unfold before him, and has worn the yellow bracelet which symbolizes ‘hope’ :((((((((( god,, real emo hours,,, i love my angel so much wtf !!! ok next,, (sjdhaj at this point im going to write a whole novel wtf but im gonna,, stop soon i swear .) hyungwon is really fucking hardworking and ?? he’s so dedicated to his career and making sure that we, his fans, are always satisfied and proud to stan him.. like he’s constantly saying he will work hard to show us something better next time, that he’s not going to stop trying to improve himself. every single stage he puts his all into it, but he pushes himself even more to show us a even better one. he’s always worried and thinking about his career as an actor and a singer. he wants to promote the group in any way that he can, whether it’s through modeling or acting :(( what a King… he’s… really always striving to do the Best and he won’t ever settle or be content with it because he’s just naturally an ambitious and super hard working person… like. he’s so dedicated to what he does, no matter what it is. uhh one more thing he’s actually a really sentimental guy!! not like in a bad way, but in the best possible way. he’s really sweet, and gentle.. (he would be the Best Boyfriend,,, im just saying..) he’s the type to give handwritten letters… and surprise gifts.. (he said so!!) he said he cant cook but he want to cook for his gf he will try his best and it will be full of love… god.. i wish that were me. he’s the type to keep quiet… but take silently notes on what someone likes/dislikes, and will reveal it unexpectedly with a gift or when he says something and it will! make the other person! so happy! :((( he doesn’t put his emotions Out There, he’s not rlly good at it,, but he honestly has so much love in him,,, he tries his best to show it ok!! it’s,, good effort it’s so cute when he does… ah.. pls.,,, he’s always like ah, i don’t know if i can properly show my appreciation and sincerity for you guys, but i hope you guys know how thankful i am for you. LASDHFJAK GOFD,S,,,, IM FUCKIGN EMO THINKGIN ABOTU IT AGAIN… HE HAS A HEART OF GOLD AND HE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART I JUST WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD SEE IT.. :(( HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE IN THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND I REALLY HOPE ALL MY LOVE FOR HIM CAN COUNT AS SOMETHING FOR IT ALL.. UGHFJASHJSAALSJF yeah ok let me,,, stop… sorry to everyone who has to scroll past this LMAo,, :(
ok i was gonna stop but i forgot to mention how he’s so fucking talented!! i mean this boy does it ALL. the whole package or w/e. god,, i love my whole ass talented man wtf! he sings, dances, choreographs, models, acts, DJs, is multilingual, and a world class poet,, cmon. ANYWAYS he excels in all those areas nd,, no argument there.. his voice is angelic as fuck ,, just like his personality.. and his dancing.. god,,, like . his dancing his so on point, his every move,, and it’s so.. fluid.. and natural. and it’s harder for tall people to dance esp ones w like long ass limbs (hyungwon.,,) but he still looks fucking amazing and pulls everything off so perfectly????? gofdj,,, can he like . Stop being so…. perfect.. and lovable… :((( he just puts so much passion into everything he does!!! and his heart is pure Gold ,, i just.. love him,,,,,,, everything about him …. ok lmao let me stop !!! if u actually read all this wtf,, im sorry nd i’d die for u
mister changkyun:
okay wtf icb i havent talked about changkyun that much on my blog.... anyways this is gonna be a mess and unorganized bc im Dumb but here goes,,, ok we can start from the beginning kinda,, so originally wonho was my #2 bias and then mh i think like i love changkyun but i wasnt like IN LOVE you kno?? honestly i started to notice him more firstable bc he and hyungwon are so frigging cute together?? i just couldnt ignore it and next thing u know im IN Love w my lil koala :(((( hes sO CUTE ..... LIKE.. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT I REALLY JUST WANNA BE AROUND HIM ALL THE TIME!! his sense of humor and his personality in general is so?? positive?? and fun??!!! like i would spend every second of the rest of my life w him... and he’s so cheesy as we all know ,, and i find it so cute but also he makes me so stressed bc he’s so mushy aijsdgfhdjs but he rlly Love us wtf.. and hes so funnie... he makes me smile and laugh all the time :( and he genuinely Loves every single one of his fans so much... he’s so sweet with them and he makes them feel so loved and special, and like they’re the only person in the world at that moment :(((( this boy gives so much love and i only want to give him a million times more back... 
HIS LAUGH.. OK.. HIS LAUGH!!!!!! MAKES MY HEART MELT LIKE LAVA WTF SJDFUDJS HES SOSOSOSOOS CUTE WHEN HE LUAHGS HE LIKE.. PUTS HIS ALL INTO IT.. IT SLIKE HAHAHAHA FR... PLS,,, ESP WHEN HE GOES CRAZY AND ALSO STARTS CLAPPING,... LMAO MOOD.. HE SOS CUTIEJUJIiajsdfudj and WHEN HE SMILES THE CLOSED-MOUTH-WIDE-SMILE AND HIS CUTE ASS DIMPLES COME OUT.... HOTLT FUCKIDUFD THERE GOES MY SOUL AND GALLONS OF HEART NUT... ITS THE CUTEST SIGHT IN THE WORLD AHHH HIS DIMPLE ARE ADORABLE AND HIS CHEEKS!! I WANT TO SQUISH!!! i wanna . reside in his dimples. build a home there and alll....... omg.. :’(( every time he takes a selfie or smthing i rlly Lose it. every single selfie is his Best selfie. wtf.... king of angles fr... AND KING OF FOOT SELFIES TOOOSJFDK LLISTEN AGAIN HES SOSOOSOSO HANDSOME AND GOOD LOOKING OKAY!!! HES REALLY A VISUAL?? IDK HOW PEOPLE CANT SEE IT BUT LIEK THIS BOY IS F  I  N E ..... HIS FACE IS SO BEAUTIFUL AHHHhhhHHHHH  AND HE NEVER HAD A BAD ERA.. HE WAS HOT SINCE NO MERCY WTF !!!!! UGJFSUJDJS I HOPE HE KNOWS HES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! :( ANF HIS BEAUTIFUL NOSE,, AND HIS EYES!!!! OGM!!,,, GOD AND HIS PERFECTLY SHAPED LIPS.... HSI JAWLINE,,, BITUCSHJ,,,
OK HES SO LOVABLE IN EVERY DAMN WAY LIKE,, he’s Weird but its a cute Weird he’s so special omg there’s really no one else like him :(((( like...... he’s a treasure fr... he’s So Many things and once its hard to pinpoint his personality but like ??? i love it so much?? he’s a mystery and i dont know what he’s thinking like most of the time but.. i rlly love him omgdsj he’s so special :’( like fr !!! everyone LOVES him!! :(( most people wouldnt see him as the maknae if they dont Know,, but like he really is... and he’s really mx’s babie :-( they spoil him so much and love the heck out of him,,, he’s really the most loved maknae out there wtf... honestly... i love family... they really Adore him so much ugh what a big ass fking MOOD! :((
AND HIS VOICE!!!!! THE VOICE OF THE HEAVENS AND ANGELS AND HAPPINESS AND ALSO NUT!!!! WTF!! HIS VOICE IS SO SEXY AJSDFGDUJIS LIKE... PLEASE... NARRATE THE BIBLE TO ME HOLY FUCKSIFDU, YOU KNOW HIS VOICE ONLY V LIVE... HOLY SHIT MY EARS NUTTED SO HARD omg.... i just wanna listen to his voice All Day.... and dont even get mee started on his rapping .... he starts his bar and sets me on fucking fire w half a syllable . and did i mentioned he fucking amazing at rapping yeah . he Does That. and hes so charismatic, especially on stage... :((( ugh omgfisjd i wanan d*e when hes being so h*t on screen fucksdf,,, and like . his mixtapes he’s working on... king... pleas.e.... End me. just end me with ur talented ass wtf... 
SIJDFJD I NEED TO SHUT UP BUT LISTEN IM SO PROUD OF HOW MUCH HE’S GROWN IN THE PAST 2+ YEARS... LIKE HE’S COME SO FUCKING FAR!!!!! IN SO MANY WAYS!!!!!!!! GOD,,,,, I LOVE HIM SOSOSOSOSO DAMN MUCHSJIDFUDS HE MAKES MY HEART CONTINUE BEATING... THATS REALLY MY BABIE !! MY FUCKING CINNAMON APPLE!!! :(((((((((((
ok let me stop thank u,,, also... if anyone actually made it here hi wow uh ur great ily wtf :--(
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loveg1rl-remade · 7 years
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write short descriptions of your favourite mutuals/friends and then tag them (but not next to their descriptions) and try to make them guess which one is theirs!
i did two parts bc i did a lot of ppl! ppl are tagged in alphabetical order dfjskfn also i hope y'all can guess your number 🚶🚶🚶
p1. 
@01bri @1aju @1oveful @2blushy @chanilovehours @doyoung @fruittxt @himlo @jenolees @junghwasgf
01 - omg we were JUST talking today… we always hit each other up for drama its p funny sjdfksldj i love hearing them talk just in general. they have a lot of good energy and it makes me happy that they like me enough to like. willingly hit me up i think thats really cute and i love that… also theyre always going to concerts and i think thats really cute i hope they hve a really good time :( they always have my back n i love talking to them !! angel 
02 - my sweetheart!!! they’re really the funniest we used to talk ALL the time before school started :( i miss them a lot but honestly i love when they spam me with notifs :’) jsdfkjsd i remember when we first met n we talked about divergent and the bts visual novel it was HONESTLY really iconic… they’re a year under me but honestly it feels like we’ve known each other for a while !! they have a lot of love in their heart and their love for a certain few ppl (starting w t) is so sweet :( i love how we both procrastinate and stay up until like 2 for everything anyway ily and i miss u! 
03 -  omg.. i feel like they’re my younger sister… i really don’t deserve such a ray of sunshine! whenever i’m down they always send me the sweetest asks and messages and once they even told me abt their day out of nowhere i just thought that was really cute :( they’re ALWAYS cheering me on and it is really really sweet !! they make me rlly happy nsdfkjsd even just seeing their asks that start with “GIRL!!!” yea :’) they’re the brightest star w the cutest personality
04. we talked for like four hours about grapes once and that’s how we became friends… uhh i love them a LOT !!! they are really so kind and supportive and we get along really well?? they have a callout list for me kjdfdsf honestly we have a lot of inside jokes and it’s really cute. they changed my opinion abt taureans (U SHOULD KNOW WHO U ARE BY NOW .. ) and i just love how we can talk about anythin????? also your sleep schedule is SUPER screwed up but its chill bc that means we can talk more ndfkjsdkf i love you angel !! 
05. i will LITERALLY never forget the time i was feeling like absolute SHIT and they took the time to write out like an ESSAY for me and it’s saved and screenshotted and immortalized forever in my heart it really meant a lot for someone to like. take the time out to do that for me and im so grateful…we don’t even post the same content anymore but they always interact w my posts and check up on me and send me asks… i love them a lot lot lot! on my old blog they’d send me the cutest asks too im grateful and lucky to have them in my life :’) 
06. they know who they are !! my one n only!! we talk every single day and somehow they don’t get sick of me which is a feat in of itself. super creative and caring and empathetic and strong and selfless and just? a really good person. they have the biggest heart and the most love to give. they’re also really hard on themselves :( my biggest cheerleader n the love of my life.. if you haven’t figured out who you are yet i’ll send jeno over to talk some sense into you (*tell you he loves you)
07. soooo soft :( everything about them is soft!! they hav a lot of love for a certain bunny boy and they’re always always tagging ppl in things i think it’s so unbelievably kind. they’re always spreading kindness and joy and is such a ray of sunshine!! i really really lov them a lot ! 
08. o man where do i start?? they’re really full of a lot of love… they’re always love posting abt their best friend and that really makes me so happy that they have such a positive good person in their life… anyway we always send each other cute asks periodically to check on each other & we’re always helping each other out when we go through emo moods… anyway they’re applying to college at the same time i am and i remember stressing out abt it with them but i KNOW we’ll both be fine i lovve them :’)
09. seriously a big source of support for me even if we don’t talk on the daily!! they always have really good advice to give and even when like. No Advice Can Be Given they’re always lending an listening ear. they’re really cute i love how mature they are !! besides giving rlly insightful n thoughtful advice.. uh they’re just a rockstar! they’re a little bit younger than me but they always try their best and help others out and it’s really admirable. plus they said they love making playlists and i just thought that was the cutest thing :/
10. we haven’t had a lot of conversations together but theyre really just the sweetest :( ever :( i was going through a hard time n they sent me so many sweet asks and messages. its always nice to know there are ppl who care abt u and this person is just SO caring in general!! they’re always tagging ppl in sweet things and doing their best and it is much appreciated !! much like their name they rlly are. the best and the brightest
– 
p2. 
@kimjunnoodle @lazy-gudetama @pastelunnie @rapgodkth @rosehyuck @snowedjin @taehn @taeilsgrl @taeyyongs
11. UGH another sweetheart … they’re always sending me the sweetest long asks checking up on me and they’re always interacting n communicating and talking abt stuff they’re passionate abt it i really love it ?????? i miss talking to them !! they would send me the cutest dog pictures :( i always see them around spreading love and happiness and warmth .. they have a lot of love and compassion in their heart. i always look forward to their asks and replies!!
12.  my EVERYTHING!!!! i saw their selfies like yesterday n they rlly knocked my socks off imagine being so pretty!!!! they are really an icon it was so cute talking to them abt our wedding :/ they’re a lot of fun they go from super soft to super funny and like, theyre either loveposting or talking about furries i think its the funniest thing ever. anyway they’re a total sweetheart n the best hyuck stan so yeah ! i love love
13. omg …. they’re SO considerate they’re always tagging me in those “associate ur mutuals with” posts and it’s honestly really cute ??? they have my kidneys and my left lung and my Whole heart :( the biggest sweetest tae stan ! super sweet and lovely and funny !!! we don’t talk a lot but i’m always cheering them on behind the scenes!! they always interact w my not funny stupid posts and hype me up theyre just. really great to be with and im grateful to b mutuals 
14. i’ve known you the longest!!!!!!!! i have all ur jk fics saved omg :( you’re the sweetest bean and i love talking to you.. even tho we don’t talk on the regular anymore it’s always so sweet hearing from you and i love how we always update each other when smthing important happens in our lives!!!! i love watching the videos u send ur voice is rlly the cutest n i remember the first tme i heard it i started crying anyway i still have your christmas card saved and i love you a whole freaking lot im still waiting to go on a date with u :( my tall gf
15. UH we literally talk and just. gush over how cute girls are …. jsfdasdf we ALWAYS tell each other beef no matter what sfjdsk they really have such a caring n chill personality. we think alike so it’s really nice telling them abt things i need help with because i always get a good second perspective on it… they’re always here to listen to me (even late at night when they have work the next day)… they’re a bit like my older sister i trust them a lot !! i really love how they always update me on things even tho i SUCK ass at messaging so :) anyway i love them a lot (move to california sooner!) 
16. one of the funniest most down to earth ppl i’ve ever met. memes are iconic and every single conversation we have i always manage to laugh bc their comedic timing is amazing and yea they’re just an all around great person. they’re my movie buddy and we can also really talk abt anything??? like we’re super comfortable around each other which is super cool n i’m grateful. we can talk for hours n hours … and yeah .. they’re also super sweet and always support me through everything! we have a lot of inside joke its cute & i’m glad i met this person i really am :’)
17. hdfsfn.. really. they really own my heart.. honestly i couldn’t have asked for a better mutual???????? they are Top Tier quality one of kind…they have like thousands upon thousands of followers and they always always promo me … im so undeserving of their love… AND AND THEY ALWAYS SEND ME ASKS …. even when like. im being annoying and ask stupid questions no one wants to answer they always write out a whole paragraph and it makes my WHOLE world ten times over im so grateful for them … i have the strawberry emoji on like all of their asks bc i want to keep all of them thats how much i appreciate the time n effort they show me … wrow… the cutest and best ever i love them a LOT! 
18. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re so motherly to me …. they’re always looking out for me and making sure i’m doing ok and i think that’s just the sweetest best thing ever :( they’re really sweet n pretty AND funny i always love seein their posts… they’re one of my few exo mutuals and i LOVE IT ! I LOVE THEM! they are sosososo soft their tags for their man are really the cutest too… they’re one of those mutuals who switch from loveposting to toesucking and it’s the best and funniest i love them! once i was sick n they sent me like two asks making sure i was ok and . wrow. i couldnt have asked for anyone better
19.  mMmMmMm i remember i thought they hated me and then it turns out they didn’t and i was SO relieved bc they’re so sweet and funny and :( just a really great person. they did a lil astrology analysis for me and it was so spot on i’d trust them with my life and my savings and my posterity…. uhhh they have a heart of gold they’re always looking out for others and trying their best n it’s really admirable. they also have such a good sense of humor!! a treasured mutual who owns my heart :( 
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get-the-treasure · 7 years
Text
school log #1
9-5-17
Happy last ‘first day of high school’ I’m finally a senior let’s fuck shit up.
Assembly: i came in and first went to hug taylor cause jahsbfjfaks i havent seen her all summer nd did i tear up? yeah kind of lmao i missed taylor sm what a gem. then i went by like. the squad (for memory reasons: ???? ppl on the side, jade, bean, yadi, eren, rye showed up, dalon showed up, sammy showed up, ashley showed up, might be missing someone?). eren gave me a bitching smoothie (bless ty) nd i think we all just talked like we normally would. its nice to just slip into normal conversation with people wou havent seen in what feels like forever.
Hour 3 (Homegroup): sat in hg for like 2 hours. we got some new freshman of whom i only can name 3 because i missed the others names. nd i also only kno one of the sophomores by name cause i forgot the others. maybe we should talk w maya sometime? ive seen her around a few times and she looks like shes mostly alone? we got our lockers too. sike some middle schoolers took our lockers and now we have to wait until tomorrow to figure out if we can get them b a c k. then i knocked over the smoothie eren gave me nd like a little came out but not much so um thanks god. we filled out this helping sheet thing that were going to be checked on every monday soooo better keep up on work i guess. also there was a lot of talk of grilled cheese up the ass???
Hour 1 (AP Bio): i turned in my poster board and we just went over the same rubric we went over when i signed up for the class smh. doesnt seem like itll be hard tho? sammy might have to drop it if she doesnt do her entire thing over and turn it in tomorrow and even then he might say no. so heres to hoping. also sabastion sat by our table nd honestly w h y do we have to have mutual friends i hate my life.
Hour 2 (ROPE): went over like oNLY the autobiography part of the rope packet tbh. also amy said we should know who our thesis paper advisors are but 1. i didnt even know what the thesis paper was and 2. the day ended and i still have no idea who my thesis advisor is weLL GUESS ILL SUFFER. im worried i wont have a good autobiography and that i wont be able to keep up with rope, but if i just dont goof around (lol) then it shouldnt be a  w  f  u  l. i notice a big student mood is being like ‘i want to die’ when school starts but christ its not rlly that bad? u get a normal ish sleep schedule, its easier to hang out w friends imo, and the work isnt even that hard you just have to pay attention and do it. it kind of bugs me honestly when school breathes and someones like THIS IS THE WORST THING ON EARTH FUCK SCHOOL FUCK ALL THE WORK THIS SUCKS cause its literally not that bad if you just idk. dont goof off all the time. sometimes u can goof off im sure everyone does sometimes. just. do ur work nd dont get so uppity about it. also idk if nyone will even read these but this isnt directed at anyone.
Hour 4 (English 12): our class is huge lmao. sammy and i got seats by jimmy, josselin, and ariel but i think eren wants us to get to class earlier tomorrow so we can sit together w yadi at the back of the room. but we get out of hg when peter lets us out soooo we cant rlly control when he lets us out.
Lunch: there was a lil spider where i sit so i kind of shooed him away so i could sit and i ended up cramping a lot. the worst part abt school imo is the chairs are just as hard as the floor and i have awful pelvis issues so my entire lower half starts to freeze and lock up and it hurts rlly bad getting up or shifting after sitting still for a while, so i fidget a lot and shift positions a lot so i can try and reduce the pain. nyways i played music nd sidney nd alexis sat down by us and theyre really quiet (whenever i would see them in the halls on the way to class and they had a free hour or it was lunch nd id see them they were always quiet then too) and sidney left her chapstick and i hope she remembered to grab it (i told her at the assembly at the end of the day because i forgot to grab it to give back to her). i cant rlly remember what else happened honestly??? thats of noting at least.
Hour 5 (Free): eren and i are probably going to sit in michelles room for this hour since she has chairs and 3 hours in a row on the floor is going to bust my ass so bad. eren started doing work but we ended up just talking and eating and listening to a vine comp.
Hour 6 (Free): sammy came down and we did basically the same as the previous hour but more talking and laughing. i cant remember what we talked about tho?? or nything else?? (edit: we tlaked about fucking and spanx)
Hour 7 (Government): eren sammy nd i had put our stuff down in michelles room early to save our spots (but i bet ill be the only one still at the table tomorrow because they have to go to the front) and then eren nd i left to go to the bathroom then fill sammys water bottle and by the time we came back in michelle was like ‘please arrive on time’ like 1 we were in here first nd 2 the bathroom was packed nd were supposed to go between classes i couldnt piss any faster thanks tho. we got the syllabus and an intro to the class/classroom and thank god jared isnt in this class fuckkkk. also we have to do debates like in front of the class?? no t h a nk you i hate it
Hour 8 (Advanced Drawing/Painting): we just sat around ny amy was like ‘heres what well do’ but ariel sammy nd i basically talked the entire time we all know how art works.
Assembly: a final assembly to wrap everything up with all grades together (since middle nd high had separate assemblies this morning) and i dont kno if we got any important information i think it was just things only 6th graders nd new students need to know cause we hear the same spiel every year. then i guess we all left??? 
After School: my dad picked me up and hell be picking us up every day from now on (unless like smthn comes up u kno its whatever). he didnt say anything on the ride home unlike when he and mom would both pick us up and theyd both ask a lot of questions. i thought he was angry and i ended up being right. he and my mom got into a bad argument she told me later on and now shes changing the locks so he doesnt have a key. its kind of upsetting how she said i should be civil with like whoever my parents may end up dating nd the entire family and whatnot but she (vise versa) cant even be civil with him or the rest of our family so??? nice example you set for your kids, parents. anyways my dad is also apparently switching up stuff he says like what hell pay and what theyll keep asset wise and how theyd cooperate for our sake and now hes changing what he said during court and all this mess and i feel like hes doing it to spite my mom but hes also spiting us in the process because we rely on our mom. ughhhhh this is stupid difficult to deal w id rather just not have to hear this stuff but moms always on the phone talking about anything and everything and were forced to hear. nyways lol
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nowat7omboy-blog · 7 years
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I couldnt decide so answer the whole galaxies thing :')💞
bdksng i lob u
milky way: whos ur oldest friend?hes my best friend since the womb and hes only few weeks older than me! hes the closest person to me thats older than me, im usually the oldest in my friend groupall my other friends that r older than me dont rlly talk that much to me anymore but we still talk now and then.
andromeda: do u consider urself social?i can b when i want to b! i dont understand myself. when im social, i always get tired and want alone time but when im alone for too long i get sad.
black eye galaxy: do u believe in love @ first sight?yes! and while were at it also believe in urban legends, the zodiac, soulmates, spirits, demons, the evil eye, and all the stuff my grandma tells me like if a pregnant woman makes tamales they dont come out quiet right and dont sweep @ night bc it brings bad luck
cartwheel galaxy: when was ur first kiss?when i was a newborn my mom kissed me fresh out of the womb after i got cleaned off.
cigar galaxy: how r ur flirting skills?i dont flirt bc im awkward but once in a blue moon ill flirt and by flirt i mean tease u but then apologize bc i think i actually hurt ur feelings
comet galaxy: have u ever had to leave a relationship bc someone changed too much?no but i have had to leave one bc the other person ignored me for a whole year and some months :/
pinwheel galaxy: would u date the last person u talked to?uhh no i would not date my brother dbdkgnkf
sombrero galaxy: do u have a crush rn?yes, but im content w how things r and i dont wanna freak them out. plus i think things would work better if we stay friends unless they also have a crush on me then idk
bode’s galaxy: have u ever had a secret admirer?yes i have but? it was kinda weird bc? he was SO aggressive w me in person and creepy so it freaked me out sm so i just blocked him but irl and called the cops lmao
sunflower galaxy: would u date/make friends w someone out of pity?im nice to every by default unless they give me a reason not to so i guess im friends/on good terms w everyonebut i def wouldnt date someone out of pity bc 1) im an intellectual and i dont play ppl like that and 2) if the feelings arent there then why even bother to have a half assed relationship?
tadpole galaxy: would u ever deny a friendship/relationship?like i said im friends/on good terms w everyone as far as i knowbut a relationship i would deny bc why deal w all that pertains to a relationship when u just dont feel anything for that person OR u know it just cant work u feel?
whirlpool galaxy: have u ever cried after a breakup?im always the one that ends things bc i feel like i cant keep up w the relationship/the person deserves better/its not a good time to b in a relationship. so naturally im gonna b hard on myself and cry.but when the other person gets angry @ me and throws stuff @ my face then i cry even more so :(its happened so many times i guess relationships arent for me but :/ i want a bf/gf/s.o
#answered
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kyandice · 7 years
Text
CANDICE EDIT THIS UGLY SHIT WHEN U HAVE THE FUCKING TIME
this is an ugly unedited one it has been in my drafts for like 2 months already. so whatever i just posting it. ill edit it if i have the time. thins is is i actually edited half way and MY FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING CRASHED SO I GAVE UP  and yeahhh ill just post this ugly unedited one and ill edit it again WITH PROPER ENGLISH WHEN I HAVE THE TIME. idk i just cqnt see stuff in my drafts i just havre to post it and yewah wtf.
this unedu=ited stuff is just me writing key poiunts about my day and not like urghhhhhhh i hate this commmmmm. normally i would describe more but i dont want it in my drafts anymore so ill edit it when im free OKAYYYY.
1/3 
Hahahahahah lmao this was the date when i got tgt with K 3 years ago.(omg i still rmb, but tbh its nth special i just rmb useless stuff pretty well)  Never wanted to date a guy again even i with crushes back in sec sch. but anyways, today i went to Sentosa w/ B and he seemed to really like the artificial fiels alot but it was like in the afternoon so it was still kinda hot and yeahhhh. Like it would be much nicer at night. There will be like alot of stars and fireworks too and it will be more windy and cooling idk but it will be nicer at night and i want to spend the night w/ B there again. Oh yeah anyways ystd B bought me the batgirl lego keychain and B told me that batgirl had sex with batman and im shoooked.
2/3 and like today we planned to go to his house anddd then go to parkway parade to some lego secret chambers shop. i went out early cuz my junior wanted to pass me her lego characs but she couldnt make it so i was alr at bishan so i just went to tpy and wait for bryan o wake and meet me so i called him at 11am but he woke up and shouted at me so i just like nvmmmm so i went to the library and went window shopping around tpy and i also went popular 1pm i didnt want to call him up but i was like ugh nvm and called him.. and yay he finaally woke up wna read tuesday with morrie, all the fifty shades of grey and in grey's pov n miss peregrine's home for peculiar children but we still went to parkway parade anyays and he asked me to watch letters from iwo jima so i watched it at night and bryan wanted to watch the breakup list on toggle but it kept playing ads and it just wouldnt play the video so b got alittle pissed 3/3 logan, training (our 8th movie)
4/3 finishing crocheting my first thinggg the bear thing shoud i give it to bryan would he want it so today b was vvvv kinda excited this video thing with ck and cez and im like vvv happy for him cuz he can do smthing he rlly likes with cool n funny ffriends. also he said that he didnt want us to go public at first cuz he was afraid that ppl might tease us he said he was afraid i might be ffrustrated but tbh i was hella frustaratred i dont see the point of hiding our rship but im glad werre like opene now and so at night i went to ikea and b messaged me but i was busyt walking and i didnt recieve his msg but i didnt like lock my phone so it was read. but like it was in my pockets and like my mom doesnt allow me to play my phine whenever im walking but yeah anyways b was angry hat i didnt reply him. we sorta quarreled awhile but we were kinda okay after that i guess. wtf sia today midnight i have to distribute stuff to the homeless ppl in bugis and i was wearing a short paanyts and my mom tied this weird looking scarf i swear i look like some carzy hobo youngster wtf.
5&6/3 sneaked out of house, slept over at his house and after that i went to tpy first while he showers, ate and went home early to pack for camp stuff wna stay over at his house again it was fun we tried to watch moanna but was kinda sleepy
7/3 day 1 of camp. slept with b outised tgt
8/3 day 2 of camp (-met javier and sihui -every camps i go i get very angry -shoulder, water balloon) larn cpr and aed the skit thing worst grp ever
9/3 day 3 of camp water activities we won
10/3 tkd training
11/3
-wtf nxt week go msia (wanted to go work) -quarreled with bteh. cuz i cant go out but he wants me to go out -yyour suffering defines you without it yore a void -japan and korea with bryan -my parents -i want more lego charac -money - i cant wait for tmr for ilighhtsss i want to take like alooot pictures tgt with bryannnn styled hair -nicole choo idk why im still so insecure like i know pretty clearly that im decent looking. decent looking enough to make friends, have a job and not get ostracised in society. and well if you arent good looking enough you'll be made fun off/ostracised in society and thats how humans work. and now everywhere you see are pretty girls and how can any girls feel not insecure. Okay, i have a flat and fat nose. i want to have a sharper and thinner nose like michelle. i have pretty small boobs and i want boobs like naomi. my shoulders are too wide from playing softball, i want a smaller width shoulders like grace. my tummy isnt flat i want a flat tummy. and thing is those are pretty famous girls in like sg and im not even talking abt kim kard or emma wats or like jennifer lawr. omg i dont even know where im going with this im just literally typing all my thoughts down. okay and the boys here???? they all follow those people and im pretty sure they compare them over the normal girls in sch. omg what am i even talking abt. i feel silly even typing this out. but okay if your beauty standards doesnt reach like the norm in society you srsly wouldnt have friends. unless youre realllll rich or your sense of humor is rlly rlly great.
12/3 didnt quarrel but we  were obv upset with each other it was a fun day tho when to see i lights took alot pictures ate llaollao no money
20/3 best s ever went home after it bteh gg aunts house today
his flight will be tmr 21/22 job interview got the job bryaan in flight abt cosplay how i dont have frinds
25/03 bryan found my private twitter accnt                                    bteh tole me abt a girl he liked when he was in korea idk if anyone realised but ive got a really really really bad habit. its weird really. but its a thing ive been doing since young and i never talked to anyone about it before. so actually, when im nervous, or stressed out, or just couldnt take my mind off smthing, i would like start peeling or plucking my nails. okay many people do this but, i ahve a weirder one andddd omg i think i will regret saying this. So actually, i pluck i my hair when im nervous, stressed out or just thinking abt smthing i cant ignore. so back in primary 4 i was doing this math practice paper and i couldnt do any those 6marks big problem sums and i was fking stressed out. and well my habit of plucking my own hair started really really young. and at P4 my mom saw me crying
26 toc competition firdst fight win second fight lose how i dont wna fight nationals cuz my weight cat all got national player lose my chance to win gold cant even get silver r came today
29/ power rangers
30 wanted to go coney island with rapheal and jill and bryan but it rained so we went to lan and gamed without jill bryan pushed me and i banged into someone in the end see museums some forest thing the ligths vvv pretyy
28/hotel
31/ hotel went to work after that talk about work made bryan that key chain clp diner and dance
1/4 learn bst bts for club crawl played boomberang didnt workkk aot is out!!!!!!
2/4 today i need to go mountbatten cc to practice my poomsae my poomsae lousy i dont think i can pass at first try anyways president of stf is milan quey idk if i spelt his name properly but yeah. before that ate yellow sub with B will nvr eat there again portion is small yet expensive and food isint so nice at all but since i get to eat with b im vvvv gladdd
3/4 today i went early to B's house. after that met up with madeline and shirlyn to watch boss baby and the movie was quite nice i thought i wouldnt like it and then we ate pepper lunch and omg osaka is a vvv small place like shirlyn went evrywhere i visited like a a year ago
4/4 AND I WOKE UP WITH BTEH lose his doibok and he couldnt find it my maid threathened to take a mail for my mom cuz she lazy walk and she wants me to do it but i was late
5/4 there was demo training we played table tennis for awhile and bteh is good at it, ok maybe its just that i suck at it but yea theres was fmo so we slacked at tg until demo tng started so at night he said hes tired but idk that he wanted to sleep soon and he was like stop it and i was like stop wat but he ttly just shut me off and then i got pissed cuz i would nvr do that to him
6/4 i had to meet herman but like after meeting him timetable i realised i forget to bring my wallet somethimes im torn in beteen like just not gg out with bteh cuz i have no money to eat or spend his money again he keeps saying its okay but its really not okay im just not comfortable like someone spending so much on me i owe money so he told me his specs broke ttly
One of the things dreams do for us is prepare us for worse case scenario. The dream that is closest to reality about a loved one leaving us prepares the mind for the pain that can be inflicted upon us. It creates a probability. That means it could happen, it means it’s a fear you have, and being such your mind protects your psyche in a way to allow you to feel the emotions of the event, even though the event never occurred.
13 reasons why felt like  th main charac like back in sec sch all i wanted was just to finish my olevels and go to poly so i can be a whole new person. someone who i wanted to be withouht anyone laughing at me
1au away from sol 1au measurement unit like light or smthing sol is latin from sun porbbaly it
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alive22 · 7 years
Text
2017 REAL STORY ABT A REAL PERSON
LET ME REFER 2 A PERSON SPOKE UPON WITH “ I / ME “ 4 SECURITY REASONS THIS REAL STORY IS REAL WRITTEN BY A BEST FRIEND OF “ I / ME “ EVERY OTHER PERSON WOULD DO THESE SAME STORYS DIFFERENT WAY PROBABLY SAYING “ WRONG “ SOMETIMES OR EDIT SOME STUFF BUT I CHOSE THIS PERSON 2 TALK ABOUT STUFF BC FUCK IT ; FAST FORWARD NO MUCH MANY YRS, WATER LEVELS RISEN UP, TEMPERATURE IS SUPER HOT, DESERTED SITUATIONS & THE INTERNET IS DEAD, REFORMED & PRIVILEDGED 4 LUXURY 1NS, CONTROLLED HISTORY IS FILTERED N DEPENDING ON WHERE U R UR CONNECTIONS COMBINED WITH A CERTAIN HISTORY KNOWLEDGE + CONTROLLED FRIENDS WILL BRING U SUCCESS WARS N CRIME N STEALING EVERYWHERE AROUND MIND WRITING THIS TELLS ME THE SCENARIO IS PRE WRITTEN ALREADY, N THAT THIS STORY IS A PRICE OF LIFES BEFORE N 2 BE CALM WHILE A MIND SAYS; NO CRIME IS BIGGER CRIME THAN LISTEN ACCEPT OR RLLY RESPECT THOSE PPL N THEIR WAYS, BELIEFS NO CRIME IS BIGGER CRIME THAN STOPPING SOMEONES SHINE IN ANY WAY INSTEAD OF POINTING THEIR SHINE 2 THE SHINE FIELDS LIKE THEM THERES A BABY 2017 IT HAS NO LIVING FATHER, IT HAS NO LIVING MOTHER IT HAS FAMILY SOMEWHERE, BUT IT DOESNT KNOW IT HAS BEEN ADOPTED BEING RAISED POOR NO FOOD OR MONEY 4 FOOD SITUATION TYPE OF STUFF AROUND PPL ARGUING N YELLING AT BABY 2 GO ASK SOMEONE OTHER THAN THEM 4 FOOD IF NOT ACCEPTING THEIR TRADITIONS, ABLE 2 ACCEPT TRADITIONS OR B LEFT BABY REALISED HARSH STUFF PRETTY YOUNG RAISED WITH WANTED VOCABULARY THE MEMORIES OF MOTHER N FATHER N REAL FAM IS A TOP WORST THING U COULD EVER TALK ABOUT IN A DESERTED SITUATION THERES AN OLD LADY 2017 A PART OF A FAMILY THAT ADOPTED A BABY SHES DIEING, SLOWLY, ITS BEEN YRS NOW HER ORGANS R CANCELLING N HARD MEDICINE IS KEEPING HER ALIVE WITH BEING IN HOSPITAL VERY OFFTEN SHES A PERSONA LOSING PARANOID WITH REAL PANIC ATTACKS HER FAMILY HATES HER N ALWAYS SPEAK DOWN ON HER, MISTREAT HER MAKE FUN OF HER N R BEING AGRESSIVE ORDERING HER 2 DO STUFF SHES THE 1 THAT CARED MOST 4 A BABY WHEN SHE COULD THERES A SISTER OF THAT OLD LADY 2017 CLOSER PART OF A FAM THAT ADOPTED A BABY SHES RICH, THE ONLY PART OF A FAM WITH SOME INCOME BC SHE WORKED IN GERMANY 1950- 1990 BUT SHE NEVER FINISHED SCHOOL N MANIPULATED A JEW INTO CRHISTANITY SINCE FOREVER SHE WAS THE MAIN HEAD OF WHOLE FAMILY N HER WORD WAS 2 LISTEN, SHE HAD CARE N FUN ALWAYS BUT WOULD ALWAYS WANT 2 MUCH CONTROL SHE ALWAYS SPEAKS DOWN ON EVERYBODY, ESPECIALLY HER JEW MAN WHO LOVES HER N LISTENS ONLY 2 HER BC HE LOST HIS FAM IN A GERMAN CONCENTRATION CAMP THEY HAD A POOR MONEY YOUTH SITUATION BUT ALWAYS BEEN TOGETHER SINCE THEY WERE 19 N 16 YRS OLD N THEY BEEN WORKING HARD THEY R FAT, BOTH, SINCE THEIR 20S AFTER BIG MONEY NICE CARS N HOUSES THEY WENT 2 CROATIA WITH A WIDER FAMILY N ALL WENT DELUSIONAL, THEY WERE BEFORE BUT THEY BECAME STUCK OLD FAT SICK N ANGRY MORE THAN EVER SO EVERY FAM RELATION GOES BROKE IN 1990 WHEN THEY CAME TO CRO A YOUNG MAN 2017 NOW TAKING CARE OF A BABY LOOKING AT IT, THINKING OF WHAT 2 SAY SO IT SPEAKS STORYS ABOUT WHAT PPL DO N HOW N WHY HOW MUCH OF TRUTH, 2 MUCH OF THRUTH 4 NOW ? HOW MUCH OF CONTROL A YOUNG MAN IS A FRIEND WITH CRIME PPL, WITH OLDER FUCKED UP PPL, WITH BUSINESS FAKE PPL, N WITH REGULAR VERY DELUSIONAL 1S ALL RACES A YOUNG MAN HAS A LOW INCOME, NOT TOTALLY STABILE ON ITS OWN FEET, BUT ALWAYS FINDING A WAY, A RISKY WAY HE & A BABY SHARE SOME IMPORTANT PARTS OF THEIR STORY YOUNG MAN HAS NO REAL HELP IN LIFE, HE NEVER WANTED 2 PLAY/KILL A PERSON EVEN IF A PERSON BAD 2 HIM, ALWAYS USED 2 FIND A WAY 2 STAY CALM N RE/ARRANGE SITUATIONS COME N GO LIKE DAYS, PPL TURN THEIR MASKS N BACKS N PHOTOS N SPEECHES N NOTHING IS SAFE YOUNG MAN THINKS WOMAN R GODS, N EVERYTHING EVOLVES AROUND A NICE WOMAN. HES NOT IMPRESSED BY HIS FELLOW GAMES, HE DOES NOT PLAYS THEM HE SURVIVES THEM, BUT ITS BOTHERING HIM ALWAYS SO HE THINKS OF WAYS TO CHANGE ROUTES YOUNG MAN THINKS ITS A BEST TIME IN HUMAN HISTORY 4 BEAUTIFUL WOMEN DOING REAL BIG THINGS WITH STYLE N THAT POWERFULL & FOCUSED WOMAN COULD MAKE MUCH MORE THAN EVER WHEN HE WAS YOUNG, HE REALLY CHERISHED GIRLS, N WOULD UNDERSTAND THEIR NEED FOR MORE WORDS AND WORDY SITUATIONS N THEIR ADVANTAGE OR DISADVANTAGE @ SCENES, MALE FEMALE MANIPULATIONS AS IT ALL IS OR WERE HE NEVER PLAYED EMOTION OR ACT OR MATH EVIL GAMES SO HE WAS ALWAYS PLAYED, NOT PLAYED LIKE CHEATED CUZ HE MADE SURE 2 KEEP IT REAL BUT PLAYED AS A ROLE OR OBJECT OF ACT ... STAYED CALM CUZ WAS SURE IT WAS NOT HIS FAULT " A LUXURY EGO “ WAS THERE SINCE FOREVER & MADE HIS LIFE A MESS MOSTLY OF OTHERS SETTING HIM SITUATIONS EGO COULDNT HANDLE AS THEY NEVER WANTED PEACEFULLY DISCUSS DETAILS, NOT ALWAYS BUT MOSTLY WHEN IT WAS MOST IMPORTANT HIS EGO THINKS HE IS VERY GOOD AT CERTAIN THINGS N IS PROUD OF THE WAY HE USES SPACE N PPL ; HE CANT EVEN TALK IF HE KNOWS EMOTIONS R NOT SAFE N THE NEED 4 REAL IS NOT IN THE AIR, BUT HE HAS A LAUNGUAGE READY 4 EVERY SITUATION N ITS LIKE A SWORD 2 A HEART OF A LAWBREAKER, N IT CAN COME AS A SACRIFICE OF HIS OWN BRAIN N TIME, BUT ITS SOMEHOW PRECISE CUZ PPLS ANGER IS ALWAYS OVER THE TOP ON THE OTHER SIDE SO EVERYTHING BECOMES INTROSPECTED ON A BIGGER PLANE SOMEHOW BETWEEN WIDER N MOST POWERFULL CIRCLES THEY HAVE, N THAT USUALLY CHANGES OR REDOES THINGS BIG TIME THE WAY HE SPEAKS 2 LOVED ONES IS 2 PRAISE THEM OR NOTICE THEIR LITTLEST THINGS OR MAKES FUN OF THEM, OR MAKES FUN OF ITSELF 4 FUN SO THERES ALWAYS A LOT OF DETAILS 2 GO WRONG AT THE WRONG TIME, IT NEEDS A UNDERSTANDING MIND 2 KEEP IT COOKING IF THERES UNDERSTANDING, HE PRAISES THEM MATERIALISTACLLY WELL WHICH OFFERS A LOT OF USAGE SITUATIONS RETHINKING FROM OTHER SIDES 2 THE THING HE MOST LOVES ABOUT HIMSELF IS WHEN HE FEELS LIKE SOMEONE IS GLOWING IS 2 KEEP HIMSELF MINIMALISTIC BEING HAPPY IN THEIR PRESENCE N THROW THEM STUPID TRAPS WATCH REACTIONS THEN LAUGH W JST REPEATING THEIR FACE N WHAT THEY SAID HE LOVES 2 REPEAT WHAT THEY SAID BASICALLY HES COLLECTING REACTINS N COPY PASTING PPL N BEST SITUATIONS AT NEW CROWDS N MAKING SURE 2 CONNECT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BUT NOT 2 VISIBLE SECOUND THING HE LOVES THE MOST IS LAY AROUND N RECOVER N BEING RESPECTED 4 BEING THAT TIRED HE TRIED DIFFERENT TYPES OF GIRLS, LIVED HIS YOUTH WITH A “ U CANT KNOW A GIRL FULLY UNTIL U SEEN HER RELAXED N HAPPY NAKED “ + “ CAN U REALLY B A BEST FRIEND OF A GIRL IF U HAVEN’T SEEN HER NAKED ? “ BUT AS HE GOT OLDER THERE WERE MUCH MORE GAMES W FEELINGS N SEX AROUND SO HE DECLINED CHASING FOR FEELING FAKE N TOOK SOME NEW ROUTES “ SADLY NOBODY MADE A SONG OR SOME ECONOMY CHANGING ART ABOUT U ... DAMN WE HAVE 2 GET IT I SEE UR FAMILY TREE GROWING N GLOWING GIRL “ WAS THE ROUTE, HAD 2 B EXPENSIVE TOO NOT WANTED 2 B OR LOOK LIKE A PRO, RATHER SLOW LAUGH N HALFTIME STYLE THAN A PRO ACT ABT ANYTHING BIGGEST SOCIAL DISADVANTAGES/CURSES ; HE HAD A MOUTH FASTER THAN A THOUGHT WHEN ANGRY OR HAPPY, A FIRE AROUND THE HEART THAT WOULD MAKE AN ACT ALWAYS UNSTOPPABLE A CURSE, HE FOUND IT FUNNY & USED TO TAKE THAT AS A LESSON 2 B HUMBLE N GET USED 2 ASK 4 “ FORGIVNESS “ / EXPLANATION TIMES FAST OFTEN SAYING “ THE WRONGEST THINGS @ WRONGEST TIME “ BUT ON A BIGGER PLANE THATS LIKE THE HIGHEST “ CLASS DEBATE “ LEVEL MOSTLY PROUDLY MISSED OR MANIPULATED WORLDWIDE, COULDNT EVER B SAD ABT IT EVEN THO IT ALWYS MAKES THINGS HARDER FASTEST FALLS IN LOVE 2 EASILY, THATS BIGGEST MOTIVATION CUZ HE CANT EVER SHOW IT SO HE BECOMES MEAN UNINTERESTED LIKE “IF U CANT SHOW SOMETHING REAL FAST ILL ACT LIKE I CANT SEE U “ CUZ THE WORLD AINT READY THAT FAST 4 HIS FUN, SO HE FREEZES FAKE W INSTANT FRIENDS OR NOTHING/MEAN SITUATIONS TYPE, OFC IN GENERAL THAT BRINGS THE WEIRDEST FASTEST
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bruisegoddess · 7 years
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#1-91 ;)
uh first off, fuck off, but yeah ok I’m bored
NSFW asks
1:When did you lose your virginity?16
2: Rough sex or soft sex?rough
3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?no unusual ones tbh, actually wait I guess (does knife shit count as unusual :/ ?)
4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?in a church
5: Favourite sex position?idk it depends
6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?ha I’m such a sub :/
7: Have you ever had any one night stands?yeah
8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?couch
9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?yeah a church lmao / many parking lots
10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?no
11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?black n lacy
12: How often do you have sex?idk, less than I’d like to
13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?uh ya
14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?it’s a two way street ya know
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?one time it started making fart noises
16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?idk literally any song
17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?ultralight beam ayo
18: Are you into dressing up for sex?not opposed not for
19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?shower
20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?like there r 2 ppl
21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?haven’t but would
22: Do you/would you use sex toys?have before, not super into it
23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?ha :) no :) never :) in :) my ;) life ;)
24: Would you have sex with your best friend?yeah
25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)not like ritualistically, but I’m always down to smoke lmao
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?sitting in a car at night w someone I wanna fuck
27: Early morning sex or late night sex?late night
28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?arms
29: Favourite body part on the same sex?idk all of it
30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:nothing
31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:idk
32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]nah
33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:not unless u tryna make a baby (which why on earth would u ever try to do that ?)
34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:0 foods I would ever want to involve in sex
35: Worst possible time to get horny:in class
36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?yeah
37: How much fapping is too much fapping:to each their own guys
38: Best sexual complement you ever got:a guy came in 2 seconds n told me I had a “witch pussy”
39: Favorite foreplay activities:just the usual
40: What do you wear to bed?it differs, preferably no shirt
41: When was the first time you masturbated:yesterday
42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?nudes obv, no vids
43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?does a parking lot count as outside ? if yes, yes if not, no
44: Have/would you ever have sex in public? 45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?answered
46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?idk I don’t really use random objects to masturbate
47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?not rlly a porn person
48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)doesn’t rlly get me off :/ doesn’t that suck
49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?Y E S 50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?I will take everyone’s virginity
51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?each and every food
52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?pornstar duh
53: Do you watch porn?nah
54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?yeah (for rope shit)
55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?not a fan
56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? no
57: If you could give yourself head, would you?no
58: Booty or Boobs?booth
59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)no but I have been the person that people have been cheated on with :/ n it is a terrible slimy feeling
60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are three things you would do?pee, fuck birches, have a sword fight w my dick
61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?no
62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?no
63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?nah :/
64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)nothing particular
65. What is your bra/penis size?my boobs are different
66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?nothing
67. When was the last time you masturbated?answered
68. When was the last time you had sex?dec 29th ha I remember cause it was scaring :)
69. When was the last time you watched porn?I don’t
70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?no
71. Guys:Circumsized?
72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?tum n neck
73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?clit bitch
74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?no
75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?no
76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?idk ?
77. Which wet dream was your favorite?do people remember this shit ?
78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?duh
79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?doy
80. Favorite sexual position? answered
81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?nah
82. Are you into any BDSM?y e a h
83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?yeah
84. Do you like dirty talk?I feel weird reciprocating dirty talk, but talk dirty to me all ya want 85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?quiet unless it is R E A L L Y fuckin good
86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?no
87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?:/
88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?no
89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?ha ya
90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?yeah and hell no I don’t keep in contact
91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?yeah and no longer
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