rise!leo x fem reader, angst, cw: kidnapping, being drugged, attempted rape, implied murder/violence/blood
---
You're unlocking your front door when your phone vibrates in your hand. A glance at the notification has you grinning, and when you unlock your phone the message there makes you giggle.
💙Leon💙 5:23 p.m.
i miss youuuu when are you coming over??
“Dork,” you mutter fondly, pushing the door open and pulling the key out. He knows that you have to shower the grossness of work off before you can leave for the lair, but your boyfriend is nothing if not dramatic.
You're typing with one hand and depositing your keys on the little table with the other when something knocks into you from behind. Your phone flies out of your hand, and your surprised yelp is muffled by a hand over your mouth. The sound of your door slamming behind you makes you flinch, and you feel a sharp sting in the side of your neck. An odd, cold sensation rushes through you, and you belatedly realize that holy shit you're very much in danger.
Something clatters to the floor. The panic coursing through you makes logical thought leave your mind. You try to struggle, realizing with horror how weak you suddenly feel. Dizzy, clumsy, you try to reach into your pocket for the panic button you hadn't thought you'd ever need, but a strong arm pins your hands so that you can't.
Hot breaths huff into your ear, making you cringe. A low voice shushes you, tells you to relax, and then a disgusting, wet tongue licks over the spot on your neck where you were stung. Your panic is dampened by the growing haze in your mind. You feel yourself start to go limp in the person's arms, and the world tilts as they readjust and toss you over their shoulder. You think they might be bending down to pick something up, but you really can't tell with the way everything is spinning.
Just before your eyes roll back in your head, you hear them say, “Leon, huh?”
---
Something is wrong.
Something is wrong.
Leo can't explain it, but he just knows. He feels it. He saw you typing your response, but then you hadn't actually sent anything. It's been twenty minutes, and you still haven't responded. He's not overreacting this time. He's not.
Something is wrong.
In the next moment his phone starts to ring, a picture of you and him on your last date lighting up the screen. He sags in relief as he answers, an embarrassed, self-deprecating smile pulling at his lips.
“Pizza Supreme, almita, I was getting worried there for a s-” He's cut off by the sound of you whimpering. Leo freezes, his smile dropping and eyes widening as terror wraps around his throat and squeezes. Someone grunts, and then a new voice speaks into the phone.
“Figured you were her boy toy,” a man says, his gravely voice tinged with cruel amusement. “You want to hear how I make your girl scream for me? Leon?”
No.
Sick fear twists into blinding rage, and blue sparks race up and down Leo's arms. His eyes flash, his markings light up, and he has to make a conscious effort not to snap his phone in half with his grip. In a second, he's unsheathing a katana and cutting a portal into the air. Walking through it to find your apartment empty. Clenching his fist on the handle of his katana so hard it creaks in his hand. He spots a needle near the entryway, and when he picks it up he can see that the plunger is pushed all the way in.
No.
“Where is she?” Leo hisses into the phone, his voice shaking along with the rest of him.
The only response is a dark chuckle. Leo snarls, tucking the syringe into one of his pouches and cutting another portal directly into the lab. He finds Donnie hunched over something on his desk and tries to remember to breathe when he hears you make a choking sound.
Donnie raises his head and seems like he's about to make an annoyed comment, but when he sees Leo's expression his eyes widen and his eyebrows pinch together in concern. Leo tells him to track your location, and the resulting laugh from the man on the phone has Leo's mind going blank with fury.
“You want to come watch, eh? Sorry to disappoint-” Leo hears you again, something between a sob and a whine. “-but by the time you get here I'll be done with her. I'll let you listen though.”
Almost immediately, Donnie's found your location. Leo's eyes scan the holomap, visualizing the location in his mind. It's not too far from your apartment, actually.
Without another word, he cuts a portal and steps through.
---
The body hovering over you is suddenly gone, the bruising grip on your right arm and your throat disappearing. You open your eyes, blinking slowly through tears, but you can't keep them open more than a second or two before they flutter closed. Your head is spinning. The fear is suffocating you, making it hard to breathe, hard to think. You hear growling. Screaming. Thuds and harsh breathing, something metallic and then a wet gurgling sound that makes your heart somehow beat even harder against your ribs. It scares you that you can't make sense of anything, that you're not sure exactly what's happening, but then you hear Leo's soft voice and sob with relief.
“I'm here,” he says quietly. His voice has an edge to it that you've never heard before, but you're more focused on the fact that Leo is here. “I've got you, alma.”
Your vision is blurry when you open your eyes. His face has more red on it than you remember - you see more red than usual all over him, actually - but you push that thought away. You want to touch him. More than want, it's like there's a gaping wound in your chest that only his touch can soothe. His hands had been hovering in the air between you, unsure in a way you've never, ever seen, but the moment he sees you weakly reaching for him he closes the gap. His arm tucks underneath you, and the world tilts dangerously as he lifts your torso and holds you. He's murmuring into your hair, his free hand cradling your head, but you can't quite make out his words. Time and space swirl around you, thick and disorienting, and you let your eyes slip shut again as he rocks you slightly in his arms.
When he gently lays you back down, the panic spikes again. You have the delirious, horrified thought that he's going to leave you here. Your eyes fly open, a keening whine coming out of you as your breathing audibly quickens. You see him slashing a portal into existence, and before you can process anything else he's back, picking you up and carrying you in his arms. Your breath hitches at the feeling of the world tilting around you once more. Static tickles your skin as you pass through the portal with him. You latch on to the fact that he's not leaving you behind, and you feel foolish, suddenly, for even thinking that he would.
He's laying you down again. You try to blink the spots from your vision as you take in your new surroundings. The medbay in the lair, you think. You see a blur of purple, recognize Donnie's voice when he talks, but then Leo pulls away from you completely and the panic comes barreling back into you at full force. It makes your lungs seize, makes your thoughts frantic. Another pathetic whimper slips out of you as you reach after him. Immediately he's back by your side, and one hand finds yours while the other lightly brushes your hair back.
“Leo,” Donnie says, his tone implying something you can't decipher. “You need to wash up.”
Leo's hand tightens in yours, the one on your hair faltering for only a second before it continues to pet you. “I will. Later.”
Donnie sighs. His next words are lost on you as you focus on the fact that Leo is here. Leo is here, which means you're safe. You're safe.
Leo presses a kiss against your forehead. You realize you're crying again, but you're still feeling really out of it. Maybe you never stopped. Either way, it doesn't matter. Leo is here.
“That's right, alma,” Leo whispers. The break in his voice makes you open your eyes again. When had you closed them? Again, there's… much more red than you remember. Again, you push the thought away. “I'm here. I'm not leaving. You're safe.”
Safe.
---
Tag list: @yorshie @luckycharms1701 @khayalli @thejudiciousneurotic @thelaundrybitch @mxalmighty
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ONE
cw: cancer, swearing, bakugo has a mini panic attack, doctor talk (?), if I missed anything let me know
Staring at herself in the mirror, she repeats the words: you're beautiful, over and over; to try and convince herself to believe it.
"Hey," he says, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom and knocking lightly on the door. "You shouldn't have to convince yourself that you're beautiful; you should already know that you are." He approaches her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and kissing her shoulder.
"I just haven't felt like it since shaving my head two months ago," she says, looking at him through the mirror.
"Well, I think you're beautiful—with or without hair," he smiles, kissing her cheek. “Plus, if you didn’t shave your head, it would’ve been more difficult for the surgeons.”
Her frown turns into a smile as his lips make contact with her cheek. "Thank you, Katsuki." she turns around in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I wanted to ask you something,” he says, looking down at her in awe.
"Ask away," she smiles.
"My class from UA has a ten year reunion coming up in about a month. And Kirishima is really pressing for me to attend. So I was wondering if you'd like to be my plus one?" he questions.
"And get to meet all your friends from high school, l'd love too!" she exclaims, placing a kiss on his lips.
"Good." he kisses back.
She pulls away from the embrace and jumps up and down in excitement. "This gives me an excuse to wear a fancy dress and a wig!”
“[Y/n], I’ve told you: I don’t have a problem being seen with you without a wig.” he says with sincerity.
“And I’ve told you, Katsuki: I don’t feel comfortable going places without a wig. I get weird looks and people tend to stare.” she pouts.
“If anyone gives you a hard time, I’ll blow them up,” he smiles at her.
“I’ll consider not wearing one,” she smiles in return. “But no promises,” she leans up and pecks his lips.
“I can deal with that,” he says as she pulls away and turns on the faucet in the tub, allowing the water to heat up before she starts getting undressed.
“Care to join me?” she smiles over her shoulder at her husband, knowing damn well he won’t say no.
“Of course!” he strips himself of his clothing, stepping into the tub of warm water and sitting down. She sits between his legs, her back against his chest. He places a kiss to the back of her shoulder blades, whispering a quiet ‘I love you’. To which she responds with: ‘I love you more’.
~~~~~
A week later, Katsuki returns home one night after patrol to find his wife passed out on the kitchen floor.
“[Y/N]!” He rushes to her side to see if she’s still breathing. He quickly calls an ambulance when he can’t get her to wake up. When the phone is picked up, he doesn’t give the receiver a chance to say anything before saying: “I got home to my wife passed out on the kitchen floor, I can’t get her to wake up!” His voice wavers as he pulls her head into his lap.
Feeling something wet and sticky on the scarf covering her head, he looks at his hand. Blood. “OK, breathe. What’s the address?” The lady questions.
He gives her the address and adds, “She hit her head pretty hard, she’s bleeding.” He can’t help the tears that fall free.
“Ok, there’s an ambulance on its way. What’s your name?” The lady says calmly.
“Katsuki Bakugo. My wife’s name is [Y/n].” He answers, looking at her face.
“Katsuki Baku-” the lady cuts herself off, but quickly regains composure after realizing Pro Hero Dynamight is calling because his wife passed out in the kitchen.
“Do you want to stay on the pho-” he hangs up, not wanting to deal with this phone lady being so calm.
He knows she has to be, but he can’t stand it. Paramedics rush into the house—Katsuki left it open—and quickly make their way to [Y/n]’s limp body.
“Sir, you need to let go of her so we can take care of her,” says the woman paramedic.
Katsuki looks up at her and nods. The paramedic gently takes [Y/n] out of Katsuki’s lap and gets her up and the gurney, checking vitals.
“Pulse is weak, but there.”
Another paramedic opens [Y/n]’s eyes and shines a light in them. “No response.”
The chatter amongst the rushing paramedics drown out as Katsuki stands in the kitchen staring at his hand covered in her blood. He’s had blood on his hands before; he is the number two Hero after all. But this was [Y/n]’s blood. His wife’s blood.
He suddenly finds himself struggling to breathe, the sound of his heartbeat behind his ears becoming too much. Everything becomes too much. The sirens of the ambulance and cop cars, the paramedics rushing around to help [Y/n], the lights in the kitchen, even the feeling of his clothes on his skin was too much.
“Sir,” the same paramedic from before looks into Katsuki’s eyes, waving her hand in front of his face. “Sir, it’s alright we’re gonna take care of her. Are you riding in the ambulance with her?” Katsuki only nods in response, not able to form words. “OK, come on,” she places a hand on his shoulder and leads him into ambulance, where [Y/n] is laying completely still on the gurney, a heart monitor beeping very slowly, and a male paramedic tending to her head wound.
Usually if someone other than [Y/n], or friends and family touches him, he’d pull away; but he can’t.
He steps up into the ambulance, sitting in the seat designated for the other person, and grabs his wife’s hand. Running his thumb over her wedding band, he whispers: “Stay with me, [Y/n], please.”
Once at the ER, the paramedics rush [Y/n] into the building.
“[Y/n] Bakugo. Female. 26 years old. Husband found her passed out on the kitchen floor when he got home. She’s got a wound on her head from the fall and her pulse is weak.” Says the male paramedic.
“OK, trauma room two.” Says a doctor, stopping Katsuki as he goes to follow. “I’m sorry, but you can’t go in there.”
Katsuki look at the doctor with tear filled eyes. “She had brain surgery two months ago. They took out her cancer.” He informs. “Please tell me it’s not back,” he pleads.
“It’s too soon to tell, we’ll get her to a CT and let you know. I’m Dr. Suzuki and I will personally keep you updated.” She nods. “Go ahead and make some calls to family and friends who you would want here, alright.” She says, following as the other doctors roll the bed [Y/n] is on out of the trauma room and into the main hospital.
copyright ©️ shotos-angelic-whore
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Could I request (land of the lustrous) Bort x male reader
M!reader personality:
Could m!reader act like a tsundere and not talk to much, could also have anger issues?
Also could m!reader be based of the gem called: "Aquamarine" ?, Aquamarines hardnesses is 7.5 - 8 btw, you can choose whether m!reader is 7.5 or 8 (Aquamarine is not a character btw) and m!readers nickname could be aqua (like Phosphophyllite is called phos
Okie Dokie anon!
👍
Fly Me to the Moon
[Cover by: me/Kumon]
[Bort X Male! Aquamarine! Reader]
Fandoms:
Houseki No Kuni/Land of the Lustrous
Trigger warnings:
- Angst
- Gaslighting/Emotional Manipulation
[Main Characters:]
[They would've been called they/them but I just gave them these genders so that I don't get confused]
- Reader/Aquamarine - Male - Hardness: 8
- Bort - Male - Hardness: 10
- Phosphophyllite - Male - Hardness: 3.5
- Cairngorm - Male - Hardness: 7
- Diamond - Female - Hardness: 10
- Yellow Diamond - Female - Hardness: 10
- Kogo-Sensei - Male - Hardness: XXXXX
[Notes:]
- This takes place during the eighth and ninth manga. When Phos comes back from the moon and tries t convince other gems to come back with him to the moon.
- Bort is younger than Reader/Aquamarine [For plot]
- Sorry if you wanted something more wholesome Anon
- I know you said that you wanted a tsundere reader but when I finally finished this I realized that it was more of a tsundere Bort. The reader is still quiet yet angry, and a bit tsun tsun, but I feel I made Bort more tsun tsun than reader
History before the story:
- Before Bort. Reader/Aquamarine used to be paired with Diamond.
- Before Reader/Aquamarine was introduced to Bort, Diamond used to tell Reader/Aquamarine that Bort was a gem who only liked to fight.
- Because of that. Reader/Aquamarine didn't really have a good first impression of Bort.
- And the feeling was mutual when you and Bort first met.
- You saw him as a macho fighting jerk and he saw you as someone who was weaker than you looked.
- That was... until Diamond got struck by a Lunarian's arrow pretty badly.
- Rutile couldn't perform fast enough for Dia to go on patrol since there were others who were injured.
- So Bort went in her place.
- Bort expected you to be useless. Only being able to do a bit of damage.
- But H O L Y S H I T
- When he saw you absolutely dominate Lunarian ass. You could say he was inspired. When he was the most recent gem the first others in his life was Dia and Yellow. He didn't spend much time with Yellow so Dia was mostly his only influence.
- Unfortunately with his attitude, Bort never appreciates Dia's attempts.
- Then there was you.
- Ever since your first pairing Bort has been asking Kogo-Sensei t pair with you often.
- Bort says it's because he wants to train under you. Since he was still a bit new t the world and Kogo-Sensei agreed.
- Of course, Kogo-Sensei knew the signs. He was impressed that the Lustrous have been able to figure out those emotions. He thought that the Lustrous have only been able to feel normal emotions. But not deeper ones. So he's been allowing Bort to pair as many times as he wants with Reader/Aquamarine.
- Thus, months turned to years.
- You and Bort have gotten closer
- And by that I mean Bort has been silently admiring you while you're trying to deny everything.
- Bort has been trying to be more like you. Quiet and calm, graceful while fighting, strong, powerful, not showing weakness to anyone.
- And you noticed his change in demeanour.
- You must admit when you first met you thought he was going to be an annoying prick. Like how Lapiz Lazuli was. but he wasn't.
- He merely just ignored you and you ignored him.
- But after fighting side by side for so long you started to feel... excited, whenever the both of you would change partners just to team up. of course, you never showed it since you'd be too embarrassed to.
- Now, since he was unknown to most things and Dia and Yellow were his first partners there were many things he didn't know of.
- And you were the one to show him true pain.
- The pains of watching a gem being taken away.
- That was with one of your best friends, Blue Topaz. That day turned you from a humble, calm gem. Into an internally emotional train wreck. With more anger issues.
- You've witnessed many gems getting taken but Blue Topaz has got the be the most influential on you... and Bort.
- Bort was terrified for you and the others after that. Ever since he saw Blue Topaz get shattered before him, and then taken away forever he's been scared about you. Of course, he tries not to show it.
- Ever since that he's been trying his hardest to get stronger in order to protect the others.
- And then after many years Phosphophyllite came into the world.
- This upset Bort for more reasons than he can count.
- Phos is one of the lowest hardness gems and is practically useless in everything. But for some reason, Reader/Aquamarine finds that uselessness "cute"
- Thus began the hatred for the mint green gem.
- Phos on the other hand, was completely oblivious to the hateful stalker stares that Bort was giving him.
- But that didn't matter to him if others hated him. He has a super cool, humble, awesome, strong, quiet, supportive big brother after all!
- The entirety of his life, Phos has been babysat by Reader/Aquamarine... Probably because they almost look alike. The only difference is that Reader/Aquamarine is more on the blue side with a Hardness of 8 [And is taller]. While Phosphophyllite was more on the green side with a hardness of 3.5 [And is hella short].
- But that just made Phos feel that much more loved. He truly does see Reader/Aquamarine as his older brother.
- During all his hardships, Reader/Aquamarine was always there for him. Whenever he gets shattered, destroyed, or feels like he's about to give up. Reader/Aquamarine was there to get him out of dark times.
- Then there was the time Bort teamed up with Phos.
- Bort has been keeping all the anger and jealousy that has been directed to Phos and when they got to the cliffside for duty it took everything in Bort's crystallized body to not shatter Phosphophyllite right then and there.
- But Bort kept himself restrained because he knew that if he shattered Phosphophyllite then Aqua would not only scold him, but hate him.
- Bort didn't want to lose him so he made up reasons to hate Phosphophyllite.
- Then there was hibernation. Hibernation has got to be Bort's favourite time of the year. Because each time Bort gets to sleep besides Reader/Aquamarine.
- Both of them didn't mind each other's company though.
- And when they woke up Phosphophyllite has changed again. Golden arms.
- Reader/Aquamarine was especially worried since Phos's personality had changed.
- Then there was the news about Antarc.
- Reader/Aquamarine wasn't close to him but after hearing Phos's explanation He knew that Phos cared about the winter gem.
- This pissed off Bort more. And then there was chaos. While Phos got examined by Rutile, Bort kept trying to lift up Aqua's mood. Only to be pushed away and yelled at. [Reader/Aquamarine actually just got too flustered and didn't know how to respond]
- When Bort was pushed away he was jealous and angry again. So he went after Phos again. Trying to test him because of his arms.
- After that, Phos didn't interact with Reader/Aquamarine that much. [Due to Bort's sabotage >:)]
- It was alright though... time went on...
- Until...
{Your POV}
~~~~~
"Sensei! Lunarians!"
I turned around to see Benito running toward Bort and I. "Benito! What kind!" I yelled. "It's the old type but Phossy and Cairngorm are having trouble!" I went wide-eyed and gave Bort a glance. I then looked back at Bort in worry. "Let's go." Bort nodded and we ran off, but when we got there...
"That was Cairngorm!" I grit my teeth "Where's Phos!?" We got closer and closer.
But Phos wasn't there. I looked up at the Lunarians and got close to the cliff as possible. "Phos?!"
"PHOS!!"
I was very close to throwing my sword but Bort held my hand, telling me not to. I just glared at the disappearing cloud. "We're... too late. let's get back." I felt Bort's gloved hand pat my shoulder and I just snarled, feeling angry at the Lunarians.
I turned around, accidentally shoving Bort's hand off and walked away.
{Bort's POV}
~~~~~
It's been a few days since Phosphophyllite has been captured. Aqua's mental stability has been getting worse lately. I've tried my best to help him out but he would either push me away and yell or stay quiet and leave. I've been getting worried more and more. With this mindset, I know for a fact that he was going to get himself shattered.
And that honestly scared the hell out of me.
I saw him sitting beside the water so I approached behind him. "...Aqua..?" I started. He didn't speak. I was going to sit down beside him but then sighed. If I did he'd get up and leave again. So I just stood behind him. Aqua continued to stare at the water. I wanted to help him, I really did.
This was the second time he's lost someone of great importance after all. Blue Topaz... now that dolt... I just stared at Aqua's back who looked more sad now. I didn't like seeing him like that.
"*GASP* SENSEI!! SENSEI!!"
I looked up, and so did Aquamarine.
"Hemi..?" Aqua questioned. Hemimorphite stopped at us. "BORT! AQUA! A-A NEW TYPE! PHOSSY! UPSIDEDOWN BLACK SPOT!!" Aqua gasped and shot up, surprising me. "What was that second part?" "W-We saw something Phossy by the beach!" Without warning Aqua ran off. "Dame! Hemi- Go inform Sensei!" I ordered before running after Aquamarine.
He always does this to the gems he cares about most.
We made it to the beach and... Hemi was right. The Lunarians were bringing up a gem that really did look like Phos. Since I was further away, I couldn't react but Aqua did. He jumped up and unsheathed his sword, swinging it at the new Lunarian
But then he got knocked back. I growled and ran forward, catching him so that he didn't fall into the sand. "A-Aquamarine! Bort!" I heard one of the younger gems cry. The new Lunarian swung again. But both me and Aqua were able to dodge. "Waahh! Bort! We're sorry!" "Aqua! Behind it!" "It's Phossy!"
"We know!" Aqua and I yelled. Then we charged again when we saw Phos almost getting captured for the second time. I slid under the Lunarian's legs while Aqua jumped over it, using its head to jump up and was able to grab Phos by his loose, extended, golden arms. While I felt myself getting pulled by my "hair" it didn't hurt much. All of a sudden, the Lunariens disintegrated.
Sensei was here...
{Your POV}
~~~~~
I held Phos tightly as we fell into the water. I didn't care if I was starting to shatter due to the touch.
Phos Was Back!
Someone actually came back to me. "Phos?" I questioned as I helped him up in the water. "Hmmm..." Then I heard the younger gems speak, "Sensei! Phossy! It's a Phossy thing!" "Sensei look! It's Phos isn't it?!"
That's when I noticed something. "Phos... That eye." I mentioned. To my surprise, Phos looked away. I gave a hurt expression and then walked to Bort's side while Phos talked to Sensei. "Oi..." I looked at Bort, asking what. "That was really cool. But don't do stuff like that. You're worrying me." I felt myself feeling weird again and looked away. "I-I'm content! Phos is here after all! And from the moon no less.
"Sure... Let's get back to the school." I nodded. We all started to walk back, the younger gems asking Phos questions while Bort and I walked in (stupidly comfortable) silence.
Now, when we reached school I wanted nothing more than to spend my time with Phos. But Bort held me back, saying that the others will be curious and will bombard Phos with questions and that it'll be easier to ask him later. I wanted to protest against it but after remembering how the younger gems reacted. "*Sigh* Fine... I'll... talk to him later." Bort pat my back, smiling at me before walking off and I covered my face with my hands in embarrassment. "That stupid, adorable, reliable diamond relative!" I whisper-yelled.
[Timeskip ~ Night]
Finally, it's nighttime. I walked out of my room and started to roam. But he wasn't in his room. I searched a bit more but I didn't find him. I groaned in annoyance and then walked into the clinic. "Hey. Rutile." "Hello, Aquamarine. What brings you here at this time?" I leaned on the wall and sighed. "Have you seen Phos? I need to talk to 'em." I saw Rutile bite his lower lip and glare at the ground. "I believe he went back to his room." I thanked him and then ran over to Phos's room. Only to see him sleeping.
I sighed in disappointment. "I guess I'll just ask tomorrow..."
[Timeskip ~ The next day]
"Aaaaaqqqqquuuuuaaaa~~~♪"
I felt my cheek getting poked and I shot up, "Hihi~ Good afternoon big brother~" I sat there, shocked. But then flew out of my bed and hugged the gem in front of me. "*Tch* Dummy- How long have you been watching me sleep?" Phos just laughed. "I'm sorry. I actually just got here. Buuuut- It's already past noon." *Gah!* I sweatdropped and looked outside. He was right, it was past noon. I sulked at that.
"Can I sit down?" I nodded at Phos and he sat down on my bed. "So... anything you wanna ask?" I looked down. Not being able to look him in the eye. "Did you... get hurt on the moon?" I heard Phos mumble yes and I felt guilty. Not being able to get to the beach fast enough to help him. "Hey now- I remember that face. Don't do that." I felt Phos pat my back and I smiled back at his supportiveness. "Anything else you wanna ask?"
{Bort's POV}
~~~~~
"Just what happened on the moon?" I froze and didn't take another step. Just so that Phos and Aqua didn't see me. I looked around if anyone would see me but the halls were empty so I stood closer to the doorway to eavesdrop. I know I shouldn't but... "...A lot of things happened." I was shocked to hear that. Based on what the others told me, Phos didn't remember anything.
"I'm going to be honest with you since you're like my brother but you have to promise not to tell anyone." I hear Aqua hum in response. That's when everything came out. Phos PLANNED to get captured to talk to the Lunarians, Sensei was a tool created by humans, all the technology the moon had in their grasps... and the other gems.
To say I was shocked was an understatement. But what came next genuinely made me want to shatter him and made me wish that he stayed on the moon.
"Aquamarine... Come back to the moon with me and some of the others."
"...What..?"
Phos then started to go on and on about how the moon actually was. How nice the Lunarians actually were. How sensei was a bad guy. How everyone would be happier. How he and Aqua would be happier on the moon.
I got even more pissed off. There is no way that I'm going to let this happen. I swore on my life, when I saw the look of horror on Aqua's face when Blue Topaz got taken that I would protect him. Going back on the moon would just bring more pain to Aquamarine! After what Phos has just revealed about the other gems why would Aqua say yes!? Would he say yes?!
I stood outside the room and felt myself shaking as Phos continued to gaslight Aqua into convincing him to join him and the other gems. "So... what do you say?" I heard Aqua sigh. His breath sounded shakey and there was nothing I wanted to do more than run up and comfort him. "If you're being honest I might as well be too... I want to go to a place without Bort."
I felt something inside me shatter.
"Huh? Why? Don't you... like him?"
Then that something re-pieced itself.
"That's correct. He's always so worried about me. Protective, cute, sweet, and strong, he idolized me... I don't deserve it." I just looked at the floor. "Our entire lives I've just been pushing him away. Being mean, being harsh. Just... being absolute trash. Bort deserves someone who will treat him right. And I know that I won't be fit for the job." Aquamarine... please... don't say that.
"Are... you sure? You've... what was that word? Loved? Yes. You've loved him for a long time. Are you sure you're willing to let someone else snatch him up like that?" I heard Aqua laugh. "As long as they make Bort happy then I don't care. He's done so much for me. And all I've done was push him away, yell, scream, and... *Deep sigh*"
I saw something on the floor and I felt my eyes get blurry. I blinked twice and held a hand up to them. And when I looked at my hand there it was. "Alloy..?" Not. It's not alloy. It's something else. But it was some sort of black liquid.
"I'll let you think about it. I'll see you in the morning Aqua."
I heard Phos get up from Aqua's bed and I ran off as silently as I can.
[Haha- Lol stopping here Like if ya want a pt. 2 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯]
[In all honesty, my train of thought derailed]
[Hope I did well ;w;]
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Jongho || Not As Innocent
Word count: 1.7k
Genre: Smut
Warnings: Making out, A lot of swearing, Bite marks, Scratch marks, Dirty talk, Dom Jongho, Sub Fem Reader, Riding, Eating out, If I missed something let me know.
Notes: I think this is the longest fic I've done and I wasn't planning on it being long but oh well ahah.
Hotness. The need for touch so unbearable it could hurt. The thought of your boyfriend slips in and out of your mind. His touch, his breath against your hot skin. Oh, how you ache for him. His lips, his body, his deep beautiful eyes. The perfectness, gentleness, his love.
"Argh," You sigh out flicking your hands in a huff onto the soft mattress. You feel so lonely. You said to the boys you wanted to retire to bed because you were tired. Even though you all were on holiday at the beach house, the day was filled with excitement and so much sun, leaving you exhausted from the heat.
But ever since you headed up to the room all you could do was stare at the plan ceiling. The boys are most likely still awake, given San and Wooyoung were determined to get late-night take out, even though it's almost twelve in the morning.
Tossing and turning you try your hardest to sleep. The soft pillows and comforter suddenly feeling hard and no longer pleasing. Huffing again, the thought of your boyfriend hits you.
Out of all times, now?
You thought, annoyed at yourself. Finally getting out of the bed, grabbing your shirt that you threw off earlier and pants following. You put them back on so you were no longer in your underwear.
Seeing all the boys outside, relaxing in the summer breeze. Drinks and food all over the table, as they enjoy themselves finally getting a break from promotions. You open the glass sliding door stepping outside quickly. The boys all eyed you suddenly at you appearance, having their few words slipping out with chuckles.
"Oh look who's still awake."
"Did you sleep already?"
"Couldnt stay away from us could you."
You chuckle at there remarks, never cessing to amaze how cheeky they could be. You move swiftly to the back of Jongho's chair, snaking your arms around his neck laying you palms on his chest. Noting Wooyoungs goofy 'eww' comment, you whisper into Jonhgo's ear.
You want to be sexy, blunt even. Not something you're used to, cause let's face it you would be considered the shyest person ever. You can't even order food without mildly panicking. But this time you wanted to be confident.
"Baby, If you don't come and fuck me right now, I might go crazy." You almost moan out into his ear, feeling heat rush through your body. The drink Jongho was drinking quickly came back up at the sound of your sweet voice in his ear, choking out. He leans forward, letting you slip away from him before walking back inside with a simple 'night boys' pursuing.
"You okay there Jongho?" Yunho pats the poor maknae's back while he cough's up a 'yes'. He has never seen you act like this. You were not one to usually to ask for sex or anything in that matter. But now, all he could think of was what you said was really hot.
"What was that about?" Mingi asks.
"Yeah, what did she say that made you choke?" Wooyoung laughed.
Jongho finally managed to stop coughing, taking a sigh of relief. He looks up to see all his members waiting for an answer.
"Uh, I..uh. I'm just gonna go." Jongho suddenly jumps up, giving a fake stretch.
"You know long day, kinda tired..." His voice trailed off. All the boys give eyeing stares at each other, realising the situation that is now occurring.
"Well stay safe." Hongjoong laughs.
"Treat her well." San follows.
"Don't break anything!" Mingi yells.
"Hey, Use protection." Seonghwa bites.
Jongho sighs, feeling his face red and hot from embarrassment. Heading off towards his bedroom where you await for him.
-
'okay okay okay okay. Chill everything is fine. You just happened to ask your boyfriend to fuck you in front of all his friends. Oh god, what if they heard me!!!'
You flop onto the bed, mildly screaming at yourself into the pillow. Rolling over to look up at the ceiling.
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid."
"Honey?" You hear a faint voice followed by the door opening with a creek. You sit up to see Jongho inching inside the room, quickly closing the door, locking it in the process.
"What was that all about." He asks crawling onto the bed towards you. You sit up, leaning against the headboard."
"I- Uh. I couldn't sleep. all I could think about was you and your--" You stop mid-sentence stuttering like crazy, beginning to feel flustered.
"Mhm, it's okay honeybun. Tell me what you want." He smirks pulling you by the thighs towards him, so he can perfect wrap your legs around him while hovering over you.
"I want you..." You whisper.
"I'm sorry what was that?" He chuckles leaning down to kiss you on the cheek. You laugh, hitting his chest lightly, knowing very well he is teasing.
"I want you to fuck me Jongho...Please." You beg for him. He smiles in contentment, ripping your shirt off along with his in a split second. He wastes no time pressing his body against you, connecting your lips, and grinding on you. He fumbles around taking his sweats off, before yanking your shorts off with giggles echoing throughout the room.
"I never thought you'd be such a naughty type baby. It's fucking sexy," he growled between sloppy kisses. Unclasping your bra, while nibbling your lob.
"Whispering in my ear..." He slips your panties down slowly.
"Begging for me to fuck you while my friends are around." He groans, biting your hot flesh on your neck. You let out a whimper, holding his shoulders tightly.
"Tell me what does my precious baby want," He smirks, locking his eyes with you. You take a gulp, your grip becoming tighter on his large shoulders.
"Jongie..." You slide your hands down his chest, feeling every curve and angle of his body. Pushing him lightly, indicating you wanted to sit up. He follows. You flip him slightly so you can sit on his lap. His hands place themselves on your thighs, his thumbs softly kneading your flesh.
"I want..." You bit your lip, leaning to his ear.
"I want to ride you so badly." You moan out, try your best not to retreat into his shoulder. He grabs your chin pulling you to look at him again, his slightly stunned expression quickly changes to a big smirk, griping your hips tighter.
"Anything for you baby girl." He pulls his boxers off while leaning over to the nightstand, grabbing a condom. He places the packet into your mouth while biting his lip. You look at him in confusion as he leads you down onto your back.
"Hold it there, first we gotta get you ready." He kisses your nose, lifting your thighs over his shoulders. His lips come in contact with your ankles. You moan trying your best to keep the condom in your mouth, while he bites your inner thighs getting closer to your heat.
"Jong..." You mumble, his lips finally connecting to where you need him most. He flattens his tongue taking a long strip of wetness up your slit. He sucks on your clit while one finger enters your hole.
"Jong-ahh. Please." You drop the condom out of your mouth, letting out a gasp, gripping his hair, tugging tightly. He puts another finger inside you while sitting up to look at your scrunched nose and crossed brows. He pulls out of you, heading against the headboard. You let out a whimper at the sudden loss of contact, moving up to sit on your elbows.
"Well come on baby, I'm waiting," He smirks, patting his thighs. You gulp picking up the condom and breaking it out of the packaging. You feel yourself shaking, you've never ridden him before and now here you were, sliding a condom on your strong boyfriend about to ruin yourself on his cock.
"You okay?" Sensing your nervousness, he moves a piece of hair out of your face, gently smiling at you. You nod your head with an 'I'm okay' following.
"I want to do this. I want to show you..." You line yourself up with him, slowly letting his tip, then the rest of him enter.
"I'm not as innocent as you think." You grind down making you both groan out. You start to bouncing, keeping strong movements with your hips.
"Fuck." He groans, whipping his head back, his left hand gripping your ass while the other comes up to the small of your back.
"Damn you look so sexy riding me, honey." He thrusts his hips up to meet your bouncing, causing you to let out choked moans. You almost lost your balance, falling forward onto his chest, gripping his shoulders.
"Jong, Jong... Ah, Jong." You slip his name on repeat as he thrusts up into you, spreading your cheeks, slapping them. Causing you to scream out.
"Let's switch things up." He nips at your ear, throwing you onto your back, slamming back into you, biting your neck roughly.
"AH Fuck!" You scream, gripping his back hard scratching your nails down his back, sinking into his flesh, drawing small amounts of blood.
"Fucck." He swears, his hips stuttering getting close to his own high.
"Jongh-I'm gon-ahh." You choked out, head going dizzy, body filling with heat as your high finally snaps. Kissing him you moan into his mouth as you both climax together. He slows his thrust down, kissing you slow and soft.
"You are so beautiful." He kisses your cheek, then your jaw, then your neck, to your collar bone. You finally both pull away to clean yourselves up. Pulling a clean pair of panties and one of Jongho's shirts you slip under the covers.
Jongho soon comes out of the bathroom in sweats, still slightly panting from the event that was just unfolded. He smiles climbing into the bed nuzzling his head into your neck.
"You should be wild more often that was amazing." He chuckles.
"Oh shit." He sat up quickly looking over the side tables.
"I left my phone outside, I don't want the boys seeing those beautiful lingerie photos I took of you." He wiggles his eyebrows.
"Wait you still have those?" You blush.
"Of course, that was an amazing night. I'll be back." He hops off the bed, walking out without thinking of putting a shirt on.
"Hey guys, have you seen my phone?" Jongho opens the glass door seeing all the other males still chatting away.
"Here." Yeosang picks up the phone from the counter handing it to him.
"So did you treat her well?" San teases. They all let out small laughs. Jongho rolls his eyes at them, turning around to leave.
"Wooah you must have treated her really well, damn!!" Wooyoung screams.
"Shut up." He shakes his head leaving as soon as he can. All that was heard was heard are laughter and chuckles and any form of teasing statement fading into a distance.
"Fuck does your back hurt?" Jongho touches his back confused then recalls back to moments ago.
Yeah, Jongho was never going to live that one down.
-
Tag List: @yunhofingers @softforqiankun @violetwinters @kpopmademygradesgodown @lmhmh01
[If you want to be added to my tag list, let me know.]
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leap of faith — sano manjiro x reader.
word count — 1.3k.
genre — fluff fluff fluff, i love sweet mikey.
contains — cursing, timeskip SPOILERS present, reader is gender neutral.
description — sano manjiro is in love with you, and he realizes how much he loves you at the ass crack of fuckin' dawn.
author's note — hey besties, this is my first published fic here, kinda short but mikey brain rot is heavy. i hope you enjoy this cute fic before i rip your hearts out with some angst in a few days :^) reblogs and likes are always appreciated! and please give me feedback in my inbox! hehe, enjoy.
“it’s late.”
you know. but you still wanted to hear the sound of his voice before bed.
“mm… i missed ya’, is that a crime?” your voice echos through the receiver, the sound of your duvet crinkling in the background as you shift in place. sano manjiro was a busy man. always has been, always will be. being the leader of a biker gang was never easy—let alone some “new age” criminal organization.
you didn’t understand why manjiro persisted to play this game of russian roulette with his life. but it was never your place to overstep, especially since this was his life. it was all he knew, all he understood. you’re not sure what he’s doing, or if he’s even allowed to talk on the phone at this hour, but you still wanted to hear him. just so you know he’s alive and well.
you hear him chuckle, the sound of his feet scurrying against whatever floor his sandals were clacking against. the background noise that accompanied him earlier has dissipated; you realized he probably went outside to hear you better.
“your crime is loving a fool like me way too much. don’t think you’re sane.” he’s right. you’re actually crazy for even pursuing him. there was a lot of push and shove in the beginning, both parties scared of being hurt and getting hurt. but you were always there, even when manjiro went through whatever darkness was eating at his soul.
“crazy for you.”
“corny.”
“you love me.”
a pause. eerie enough to send shivers down your spine. why wasn’t he responding? did something happen? did you smother him too much? is he regretting—
“marry me.”
… not what you were expecting. especially not over the phone.
“sano manjiro, did you just propose over the phone? what kind of shitty rom-com are we in?”
“is that a no?”
“... never said that.” you wanted to marry him. but you wanted him to put that lifestyle behind, for the sake of the family you might have in the future. kids, dogs, cats, etcetera. you wanted him to be in, one hundred percent. but you knew he was too deep into this world to run now—especially since he’s so well-known as the ‘invincible mikey.’ you still longed for a happy home with manjiro, and a normal life.
“maybe you’re right. it’s not my style to ask you this over the phone.”
“try again later. when you’re really ready.”
the gag is, he is ready.
manjiro hurries home, blond locks hidden underneath a thin, black hoodie. he’s shaking, like a pomeranian in the presence of fireworks. his hand meets the left side of his chest, back pressed up against the grey colored wall of your shared apartment as he slides down to sit on the floor. it was four in the morning, and manjiro was about to shit himself.
he gulps, eyes peering around for you, double checking that you were fast asleep before he makes a phone call. his fingers tapped the back of his iphone, impatiently waiting for the other caller to answer. though it was the crack of dawn, he still needed some moral support.
“mikey? fuck you callin’ for at this hour? haven’t heard from you in mo—”
“ken-chin. i’m proposing.”
a loud ‘flop’ rang through the receiver, accompanied by the bedsheets seemingly slipping underneath draken’s feet. it was a huge bomb to drop, especially when the duo has been separated for months on end. manjiro hears more shuffling, followed by a few curses. “you’re fucking lying. the one you’ve been one since—?”
“yeah. i’m crazy as hell. but i love them. head over heels. i’m a goddamn simp.”
“why the hell am i the first to know, man?”
“you’re m’best friend, even if i need to stay away from you. and, also… you’re not the first to know. i asked them already.”
“you WHAT? don’t fuckin’ tell me you did it some dumb way like over the pho— you did. you’re impulsive enough to do it like that, too.” regardless of how long it’s been, draken still knows and understands manjiro like nothing ever happened.
“yeah… not romantic. but i can’t see myself with anyone else. i trust no one else. but i… am…”
“scared? man, you’re the head of a criminal organization. ‘course you’re scared. you don’t want the love of your life… to get hurt…” his voice trails off and manjiro’s heart tenses even more. the memories of the past still felt fresh. all the people they lost in tokyo manji… could never be replaced. not in a million years.
but the living must live.
“i love y/n. never felt like this before. i’d quit everything. but i would have to make sure they’re safe and whatever future we have together is secure. i know i promised takemichi that i’d protect everyone and that future he worked so hard to save… but what about mine?”
manjiro really did sacrifice everything for his friends. being the type of person who carries everyone else’s burdens takes a toll on his mental. he felt selfish for wanting to leave it all behind. but maybe being selfish was beneficial once in a while.
“listen—”
“do you think i’m stupid?”
“mikey. you’re not stupid,” draken sighs, shuffling again in place. “you just want to love someone and be loved in return. nothin’ stupid about that. what is stupid though, is you proposing over the damn phone.”
he’s not wrong. it was a spur of the moment decision that could drastically change his life forever. but with you, he doesn’t care. as long as you’re his, forever.
“how do you think i should do it?”
“well. i guess, tell me some sappy shit. how do you feel about them, and whatnot.”
“i don’t think i could ever imagine me with anyone else. a lot of people have tried to grab my attention but i only have eyes for y/n. sometimes when shit gets real hard…” manjiro takes a deep sigh, fingers threading through his hair, tilting back the hood to let it fall onto his back. “i think of y/n and i remember that even in this shit world, someone is here for me. someone cares about me. they make me feel like i’m not alone anymore.
i have dreams ‘bout us, y’know? me and y/n… kids running around. a little mikey clone. pissin’ them off because we want little flags on our meals. going to the park and letting kids be kids. maybe i’ll teach ‘em at a dojo like gramps did for me and my siblings. maybe i’ll teach ‘em about bikes—with your help, of course.”
draken laughs, letting his friend continue his little speech as he gets comfortable in bed again. don’t think i’ve ever seen mikey like this, ever, draken muses.
“man, we can own a whole zoo if we wanted. chifuyu could hook us up, in secret, of course. still have to protect everyone,” manjiro is grinning from ear to ear, head resting against the wall. “i wanna grow old with them. honestly, i didn’t think i’d make it to my twenties. more so, i didn’t want to live past twenty-something. but now… things are different. wanna be old and gray. see grandkids terrorize our children. die together.”
the tension in manjiro’s chest has faded away, only left with warmth that only you could bring him. his free hand reaches into his pocket to fumble with a small box, snapping it open to reveal the engagement ring his grandfather handed down to him.
he wasn’t the marrying type. but for you, he was.
“that all? you sound good like that, man. make an exception and let us come to the wedding.”
manjiro wants that more than anything. his friends, you... all safe. all happy. but again, the fear creeps up. he doesn’t know what to do with himself if any of you get hurt.
“... how do i tell y/n that?”
“you already have.” your voice makes him jump, knocking the velvet box out of his fingers and onto the hardwood floor. his face pales, followed by a huge lump forming at his throat when he sees your figure emerge from your shared bedroom.
“i-uh… i thought you were a-asleep.” manjiro mumbles, earning a huge laugh from draken on the other side. he hears him say something along the lines of ‘my cue to leave. good luck. send me an invite.’
“i was waiting for you.”
he’s sweating now, a small bead forming at the base of his neck. his phone is now at his side, the screen flashing from draken’s caller id to the lockscreen photo of you on your first date together, a few years back. your eyes zone into the box, though.
“i was going to do this… better. god, i fucked up, huh?”
you’re laughing now, rubbing your tired eyes before you join him near the wall, picking up the box. “what makes you think that, dummy?”
now he’s confused. you wanted him to ask when he was serious, but in his head, serious meant rose petals, candles, someone singing celine dion in the distance.
without a word, you slip the ring onto its appropriate finger, holding up to the small rays of sunlight that peaked through the window from the approaching sunrise. manjiro’s hands fly up to your face, holding his whole world in his hands. his eyes are shiny, on the brink of tears. you nudge your noses together, foreheads connecting tenderly. your hands hooked onto the hem of his hoodie, bringing his frame closer as you whisper a soft ‘yes.’
“yes?”
“yes, i’ll marry you.”
manjiro’s lips curl up into the silliest grin you’ve ever seen him sport, before he presses a soft kiss to your lips. now he’s kissing you quite desperately. as if he’s trying to make sure you’re real, that this isn’t a dream. you feel his words vibrate against your lips, “gonna make you so happy, i promise. i love you. i love you so, so much.”
“forevermore.”
“forever yours.”
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A Little Reward
Summary: You agree to help Keishin study with a way that might help the information stick (GOOD GOD I am bad at summaries pls just read it)
Pairing: Ukai Keishin x black!fem!reader
Warnings: smut (18+!!), unprotected sex, minor fingering, dirty talk, degradation, daddy kink, ass smacking, handjob, groping, reader is picked up, a lot of biology references, college!au
Word Count: 2,366
A/N: So, I finally understand what I’m doing in my bio 183 class, and when I tell y’all I am ECSTATIC, so that’s where this came from
Tags: @her-majesty-kiara, @iwascrybaby, @mxhriii
When Keishin came to you asking if you could help him out with biology, you'll admit that it took him more than a couple of times to convince you. He claimed that he was so bad at it and that he didn't know how well he was going to do on the test.
You also knew that he was so bad at hiding how much he wanted to fuck you.
You weren't stupid. You always caught the way he would stare at you, and you liked the attention, purposefully putting a little more swish in your hips, knowing his eyes were drilling into your ass.
He was always catching you before you could walk out of the science building, offering to walk you back to your dorm, and he would spend the whole walk trying to charm the pants off of you. You wondered how many girls fell for it, not saying that you weren't falling for it either, you just thought you could make him work a little harder.
And it's not like you didn't want to fuck him either. He told you he played volleyball in high school, but he's seemed to bulk up a little more over the course of you knowing each other, his clothes like a second skin, so it wasn't hard for you to imagine what was hiding underneath.
He sighs as he running a hand through his hair, effectively pulling his headband with it, so he takes it off, wrapping it around his wrist. "I'm never going to get this," he groans in frustration.
"You haven't even tried," you say lightly, moving to lean against his desk, resting your hands behind you.
"I've been trying for thirty minutes," he sighs again, resting his elbows on his knees.
"Maybe you need a little incentive," you offer with a shrug, and he leans back in his chair, his eyebrows raised.
"Yeah? Like what?" He smirks, and you tilt your head to look up at the ceiling like you're trying to think even though you already know what you have in mind.
"I'll ask you a question," you start. "And for every right answer, I'll take something off." His eyes widen a little, and you give him a sweet grin.
He scoffs. "You're serious?" You hum as you shrug again. "What's the catch?"
"Nothing. But I don't think you'll get very far," you taunt, and you can see the challenging shimmer in his eyes, a look he gets whenever you both try to be competitive with each other.
You give him about another thirty minutes to go over about a quarter of the notes before you get ready to start the questions. "Ready?"
He nods confidently, thinking that this will be a piece of cake when you know that it's going to be the complete opposite. "ATP. What is it?"
You start off easy, and he huffs as he leans back in the seat, resting his hands on his thighs. "Bottom line, it powers cellular processes," and you smile as you nod your head. "Come on, baby, you gotta do better than that."
You give him a bored look, but you chuckle at his obliviousness to your plan. You uncross your arms before slipping your shirt over your head, letting it slide off your fingers and onto the floor.
You see him take a deep breath as his eyes zero in on the white lacy garment adorning your chest, accentuating your brown skin, your nipples just shy of being seen. "How's it made?"
He doesn't hear you, or if he does, he's too focused on your boobs to answer, and you snap your fingers, and he blinks slowly. "From ADP," he answers, clearly distracted. "Substrate level whatever," he adds, and you roll your eyes.
"What's it called?" His gaze hasn't left your chest, and you walk up to him, leaning down to rest your hands on the arms of the chair. You know your boobs are falling over the edge of your bra, and he releases a breath before he brings his eyes up to yours.
You walk around to stand behind him, leaning back down as you slide your arms over his broad shoulders before you hover your head next to his ear. "Answer the question, Kei."
"Phos...phorylzation," he says slowly, and you smile widely. You walk back to stand in front of him, and you see his hands turn into fists when your hands reach under your skirt.
You thumb at the side of your panties before slowly pulling them down your legs, stepping out of them, holding them on the edge of your finger. "Good job," you quip, and he watches you throw them to the side, the article landing on your shirt.
You take a step closer to him, and you lightly push his hands off of his thighs before you replace them, straddling him, and he bites his lip to stop himself from making any sound. You can feel your slick soaking his sweats, not expecting to get so affected by how he was only looking at you.
"What's the role of oxygen?" you ask next, and he closes his eyes for a brief second before he opens them, feeling another wave of arousal rush out when you see how hazy his eyes are.
You brush a few blonde strands out of his face as you wait for an answer, and his hands are twitching from how bad he wants to touch you. "It, uh," he licks his lips, his head slightly falling back on his shoulders. "Carries out metabolism."
His voice is airy, and you hum softly as your hands run down his sides, staying at his waist. "You're starting to get it," you praise, and you grab the hem of his shirt. He looks at you, his brows jerking slightly at your actions. "Wouldn't be a lot of fun if I'm the only one stripping," you explain, and he slowly lifts his arms up, allowing you to pull the clothing over his head.
You bite your lip as you toss it to the side, your eyes landing on his lightly defined abs, and he tenses when you softly run your hands over his abdomen. His clothes did a bad job at telling you what they were hiding.
You internally shake your head, remembering what you're supposed to be doing, and you look up to meet his eyes as your fingers lightly press into his skin. "The four main stages, in order," you tell him next, and he sighs shakily as your nails drag down from his shoulders, making him shudder.
He gets halfway through the answer, and you roll your hips just a little, and his hands shoot up to your hips before stopping himself as his head falls back. Your arms wrap around his neck, your hands lightly pulling his head back up by his hair. "Finish it."
You can barely hear him, but he gives you the rest of the answer, and you grab his wrist and guide him to the clasp of your bra. He quick to undo it, and you slowly slide the straps off your shoulders, your tits falling onto your chest as you slip it off, throwing it on top of the rest of your clothes.
"Shit," he mumbles, his eyes focused on your nipples that are starting to harden from the exposure of the cold air.
You chuckle softly, starting to feel your body becoming warm under his heated gaze. You guide his head up by his chin to look at you. "Pyruvate. What happens to it?"
His eyes dip down to your lips as you speak before returning back to your eyes. "It's oxidized."
"Yes. And?" you press, and he's starting to have a hard time controlling himself. "You've been doing so good," you praise, grazing his sides with your nails, and he bites his lip again.
He can barely get the answer out, and you shift again, his breath hitching at the stimulation, and yours hitching when you feel how hard he is under you. You can practically see his arms shaking with the urge to touch you, so instead of stripping you allow him to touch.
You can barely get the words out before his hands are moving to your chest, cupping your tits in his large palm, and you moan softly. His fingers play with your nipples, and your hands grip his shoulders. He moves his hands to your thighs, barely covered by your skirt, and he runs his calloused hands over your skin before they make their way under.
His hands run over your ass before gripping the flesh in his hands and spreading you open before pushing you down onto him. You let out a louder moan in surprise, and he does it again, groaning just as loud as he bucks up into you.
You feel the air slip from your lungs for a split second before you stop him. "Slow down, tiger. We're not done yet," you chide even though you want to fuck him just as bad as he wants to fuck you, but you want to tease him just a little bit longer even though you're teasing yourself in the process.
He lets out a small whine in protest, not having enough friction, but he lets you keep going anyway. "Let's make this more interesting, yeah?" He barely lets you get off of him, but his hands grudgingly let you go, and you stand before getting rid of your skirt.
He shamelessly lets out another groan at the sight of your shiny folds, and when you pull at the waistband of his sweatpants, he's quickly lifting his hips so that you can pull them down. You go to scoff when you see that he's gone commando, but your mouth falls open when his dick springs up, hitting his taut abs, the tip a deep shade of red.
He watches you bring two fingers to your dripping hole, swirling them around at your entrance before sliding them in, and you both moan simultaneously. You thrust your fingers inside of you a few times before slipping them out, your fingers coated in your juices.
You rest your other hand on his thigh, moving the other one towards his straining erection, using your slick as lube as you stroke him. Your hand leaves him, and he feels like it's gone too soon, but then he sees that you're putting your legs on either side of him as you line yourself up.
He grips your hips tightly when he's fully inside you, sighing easily at the feeling of your warm walls around him. "Next question," you speak up suddenly, and he's looking at you like you have two heads, and you chuckle softly. "We have to make sure you grasp the concept."
You're asking him questions, and he can barely answer, the only thing he can focus on is how your walls are grasping him. He knows you're doing this on purpose, asking him the same questions but in a different way, rolling your hips every time he takes too long to answer.
And that's his breaking point.
You're about to ask another annoying question, and you cut yourself with a yelp when he picks you up, moving you to his desk. He brushes everything off in one sweep, setting you down, and pounding into you as soon as he sets you down.
You cry out, your arms wrapping around his neck. "Answer this question, sweetheart," he groans in your ear, grabbing your ass to further spear you with his dick. "You like it when I fuck you like this?"
The only thing you can do is make incoherent noises, the last thing on your mind is responding, and he smacks your ass, hard. "Answer the question."
"Yes, Kei! Fuck," you gasp, your eyes closing and your body going limp when he hits that sensitive spot inside of you.
"You like teasing me, huh? Wanted me to fuck you like a bitch in heat?" Granted, you didn't really expect this outcome, but you're nowhere near complaining.
The only way you can answer is by breathless, incoherent noises in his ear, and he's moving you, pushing you down flat on your back on his desk. He pushes your legs to your chest before resuming his punishing pace.
"You wanted to be fucked by Daddy's cock like a little slut, yeah?" he spits, leaning down to breathe against your mouth, and you don't know if he can see your nod, the only thing you can do to answer him. "Daddy's fucking you good, isn't he?" he asks, a shit-eating grin on his face knowing that he's rendering you speechless.
He reaches down to press down hard on your clit, making you jump as you dig your nails in his arm. "You gotta answer, or I'll stop," he threatens, thrusting his hips with a little more force to really nail your g-spot.
"Y-Yes, Daddy, s-so good," you moan, and he swears when you clamp around him, your climax nearing its peak.
He rests his elbows on the desk to give him more leverage, and that pushes your legs further into your chest, the air seeming to slip out of your chest. "Shit," he moans, savoring the feeling of you sucking him back in every time he pulls out.
"God, Kei, 'm close," you barely manage to say, and he closes the minimal distance between your lips, and you can barely kiss him back. He pulls your lip between his teeth when he pulls away.
"Then cum, sweetheart, cum," he breathes, and his body is tensing up as he spills inside you, but he keeps moving until you cum right after him, riding out both of your highs before slowing to a stop.
He moves his arms so that your legs fall, and you take in a huge gulp of air before your breathing quickly again. He puts his arms back beside your head before kissing you deeply, your hands brushing the hair plastered to his forehead.
"You know, I think I need some help with calc if you wouldn't mind?" he says, and you chuckle breathlessly.
"I wouldn't mind at all."
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I Don't Count
Word Count: 1,479
Warnings: Drinking. Mentions of a car accident (briefly). Soft caretaker baby Will Miller. It's just fluffy.
Author's Note: Fully formed this out of my need for a hug and comfort and decided I wanted to write it for the only blonde haired, blue eyed man I'd ever let get in these guts.
MASTERLIST
The Millers still had a landline. Of course they did. Benny’s big brother was very staunch about his boundaries. If he wasn’t going out after work, his cellphone went off as soon as he walked across the threshold. If you needed to reach him for any reason after that, you could call the house phone.
“But it better be a goddamn emergency,” he’d always say.
She bit her thumbnail as it rang, leg bouncing to a nonsensical rhythm. A drumming only she could hear. Once, twice. It was her last ditch effort to reach her best friend, to hear his voice telling her everything is okay. Three times and,
“Hello?”
Not Benny.
She contemplates hanging up, her voice stuck somewhere in her chest. This was most certainly not an emergency no matter what the bottle she’d been nursing had to say about it. But she can’t. Can’t speak. Not to Will, not about this.
Can’t let the phone fall from her ears. Can’t even breathe.
“Shane,” he sounds concerned, “are you okay?”
“I uh—“ the breath releases, “I was looking for Benny.”
A small laugh on the other end, “it’s Tuesday, Sunshine, he’s at the gym.”
Sunshine, his nickname for her. It started out as Sunshane but he got pissed at the autocorrect of his own brain, stopped fighting it after a while.
A sharp sound rings through, a whistle to get her attention.
“You didn’t answer my question,” it’s warm, “are you okay?”
She sniffs, “yeah, Billy—“
Another laugh, both disbelieving and amused, “you can’t lie to me. What’s going on?”
“Just…” another swig, “have Benny call me when he gets home, okay?”
“Are you drinking?” Not amused.
“I’m an adult, Miller, I drink.” It’s harsh.
“Yeah,” another disbelieving laugh, this time at your boldness, “but you sound like shit. Why are you drinking?”
Because I’m forcing my feelings for you onto others and I have the gall to be shocked when it blows up in my face.
“Look,” she’s pacing the kitchen, “just have Benny give me a call when he gets home. I’m really sorry t—“
“Did that fucking boyfriend do something?”
There it is, the sob she’d been swallowing.
“Give me half an hour,” he whispers down the line, “I’ll have my cell if you need anything, okay?”
—————
The bottle’s gone when there’s a knock at the door.
She jumps but settles back against the couch, believing it must be coming from somewhere deep within the wine soaked sponge of her brain.
But there it is again, “it’s me, Sunshine,” coming from the other side.
She stands too quickly, blood rushing to her head as her right foot struggles to come back to life. He knocks again, nothing if not persistent.
“Don’t make me bust down this door, you know I can do it.”
She fumbles with the chain lock with wildly inebriated fingers, scratching desperately with her nails to get it through that little fucking hole. It springs free and she’s working at the deadbolt, much simpler, before throwing the door wide to the man on the other side.
“Would you really have busted down my door, Miller?” She slurs out, ever the lightweight.
He shrugs, “yeah but… I would’ve built you a new one so…”
“What's that?” She notices the bags for the first time, swinging idly at his side.
“I figured you were about halfway through the bottle earlier when you called, based on how the swish of liquid sounded on the pho—“
She rolls her eyes, “it's fucking creepy how you do that.”
“—so I brought cheeseburgers.”
She launches unsteadily toward him, wrapping her arms around his midsection.
“May I come in?”
His scent fills her senses, fresh laundry and a hint of Tom Ford as she nods against his broad chest.
Letting go, she stumbles back into the tiny apartment, the couch taking over the entire wall of the living room, and plops back down with her feet tucked under her as she makes grabby hands for the bag in Will’s hand.
He catches her out of his peripheral while he refastens the lock on the door, “can you be patient?”
“Absolutely not,” she whines out, “I'm starving.”
He toes his shoes off at the door and pads to the front of the couch, in front of her, and kneels down. He reaches into the bag and hands her a burger, “I got you two singles because I know you feel self conscious when you try to eat a double. Even when you’re alone.”
“But I’m not alone,” she mumbles through a bite, wrapper torn in half as soon as it touched her hands.
“I don’t count, I’m just Will.”
She almost chokes at that, because he does count.
“I'm really not trying to deep throat a fucking Big Mac in front of my best friend’s older brother.”
“Oh,” he stands and kisses the top of her head, “Is that all I am?”
Absolutely not.
She watches him walk into the kitchen, the clinking of glass and the sound of the tap rushing back out to meet her.
Thoughts swim in her drunk mind, the events of the day—the phone call, the fight, the follow up text messages. Colin’s raised voice still ringing through her ears as he accused her, “I don’t know if it’s Will or Ben but you’re fucking one of them and I’m done!”
“You wanna tell me what happened?” He’s soft, pulling the wrapper from her hands and pushing a glass of water in place of it.
“Um, ya know,” she swallows hard around the lump building in her throat again, “just what typically happens with men in my life.”
He looks defeated, apologetic. Colin’s not the first to accuse her of being with a Miller. It’s been a theme of the last three—Ryan, John, Adam—and this makes four. Four men that William Miller wishes he could add to his confirmed kills list.
That’s not what she wants to hear right now though, no matter how safe his words of protection always make her feel. Because it doesn’t matter.
“I'm sorry,” his heavy hand falls on the bare skin of her calf, sending a bolt of electricity through her body.
She was relieved.
Colin wasn’t right but he wasn’t far off from the truth she’s been hiding.
She’s in love with William Miller.
“Hey, Sunshine” his rough thumb across the smooth skin guides her back, “where are you?”
The alcohol has her still, a looseness in the hurt of her heart that makes up her mind before she fully realizes the words are already coming out of her mouth.
“He’s not wrong, Billy. None of them have really been wrong.”
He laughs, fingers stilled on her leg and she is aching for the movement to return as his stare seeps through her pores.
“You and Benny got something you need to tell me?”
Her breath is shaky.
She trails her fingers along his wrist before placing her palm on the back of his. Now or never.
“I think it’s more like you and I have something to tell Benny.”
He pulls away, blue eyes piercing through her, “you're drunk, Shane.”
“Just enough to not give a shit anymore,” she whispers, lifting herself up to her knees and pressing closer to him, “I know how we look at each other, Will.”
“Benny will kill us.”
She giggles, “I’ve been to his fights, my money’s on you.”
His heart swells as his laughter jumps up to meet hers. This is the first time they’ve been alone together, properly alone, since he realized his love ran deeper than that of just a friend.
When he realized on the last mission that he just really missed the smell of her hair when she gives him a hug. Or the way she laughs the hardest out of everybody whenever he tells a dumb joke.
He came home and, to stop himself from being reckless, made sure that he was only ever around when Benny was. He didn’t want to fuck up Benny’s friendship, that was something his little brother could excel at on his own.
But now, with her full lips inches from his, he decides.
It’s a decision he made less than an hour ago when her name popped up on the caller ID—she’d only called the house phone one other time, a car accident, and that same worry seeped beneath his skin again.
Her fingers run through the soft hair on the side of his head, his lips heavy against hers as he pulls her in and pushes her down.
He breaks away, “Are you sure?”
A question that dies with a crash as she tugs him back to her and he melts against her warmth when—
Her phone vibrates.
Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll…
Benny.
TAGLIST: @justanotherblonde23 | @greeneyedblondie44 | @icanbeyourjedi | @princess76179 | @bbuckysbeardd | @notcookiebelle | @knivesareout | @phoenixpascal | @lexi-b-writes | @empress-palpat1ne | @starlightmornings | @soyelfuegoquearde
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Part 24: Appearance
Erik shuffled down the aisle of the train car, crutch nudged snuggly into his armpit and a suitcase half his size rolling behind with a heavy looking duffel. No one offered assistance and he didn't ask. As a black man, he could always count on that as a consistency. Crutches and all, he'd be viewed as overly capable. From a young age it was ingrained through experience.. all you have is yourself because no one out here will help you, a young black man. Time had proven it again and again. Injured, he could still handle more weight than the average man and it was because he pushed himself. He relied only on himself. Even hospitalized, he found ways to maintain his strength. Weakness and laziness was never an option, not even for recovery. With all his money, that was still something he couldn't afford. But they could.. the white couple on the left. He couldn't help but notice them sitting there.
A closer look told him they weren't actually a couple. The blonde girl's face screamed underage. Fifteen/sixteen. The heavy makeup she wore aged her. She looked high. Heroin, Erik guessed glancing subtly for track marks. She looked up and he glanced away to a Spanish speaking family with five kids including a crying baby. He bit his lip on his way to take his seat at the rear where he could see everyone. The man in front of him was on his way to sleep. Erik put in his earbuds and continued his watch.
As the hours passed, he noticed more and more. The kids had no home training. The parents had no sense of awareness considering they sat opposite a fifteen year old girl being held against her will. It could easily be one of their kids, with them not paying attention it wouldn't take much. The baby had the healthiest lungs of any baby he'd ever heard. That blonde girl was high as hell. She got up to use the bathroom on his side of the train and he kept his eyes down as she passed with her trafficker on her ass to make sure she ain't try nothing risky. Ain't none of my black ass business, Erik told himself. He hadn't signed up to save any little blonde girls. He kept his eyes down as they passed him again to return to their seats and she dropped a tiny earring on the floor next to his foot on purpose. Damn, he groaned dropping his head on the back of the seat. Why me? I just said I ain't wanna get involved in this shit.
Taking a deep sigh, he picked up the earring and did what made sense. He googled the train police department and texted in a report using his sub contact phone, the main phone. He gave a description of the couple and information regarding the train. You're welcome, he thought watching the back of the girl's head before settling back in his seat comfortably. Any other time he'd have ignored her, not that victims often reached out to him so clearly. Still, it was an unnecessary risk calling on police. What if they decided to search the train? The whole point of taking the train was to not be searched.
Y/N would be proud right now, his lip twisted in irritation. She'd become the true north of his moral compass. What would Y/N do in the situation? The thought made him nauseous. She wouldn't survive his lifestyle. He wouldn't survive it with her morals. This is dangerous. We are completely incompatible, but I still want you, he admitted to himself. It was more like need. Obsession even. There was a burning feeling in his gut. "This shit ain't healthy," he muttered.
-----
"Wow, may I..," Tanner's fingers hover in the air, his eyes on your fresh braids. Your eyebrows answer before you can and he lowers his hand with a smile. "Those braids are really something. Would it be offensive if I asked how they're attached?" He looks so fascinated. He's been staring and talking to the top of your head since he saw you this morning in the lobby and now he's staring just as hard from across the small booth table at Pho Station.
"You just buy braiding hair and braid it into your hair. That's literally it."
"Braiding hair.. what's that?" His head rests on his hand as his elbow sits on the table. He's so curious, staring dreamily.
"It's packs of hair you get at the store specifically for braided styles." You slurp in a spoonful of long noodles.
"Is it human hair?"
"Synthetic." It comes out muffled as you break off the noodles hanging from your mouth with a chopstick so you can swallow.
"Synthetic? What's the difference..," his blue eyes drift lazily down to your nearly black ones. "Well, I mean in how they look."
"Human hair is typically Malaysian or Brazillian, something like that. You can straighten or curl it because it's actual hair. Synthetic fibers can melt but it's inexpensive and can mimic hair textures well."
"Well it's beautiful," he nods. "I've always wondered about it. Does it hurt?"
"Mm-mm," you grumble slurping the broth of your chicken pho. "No these are knotless and they don't hurt." That confuses him so you get into the difference between regular box braids and knotless. "You can't even sleep when you first get regular box braids because it's so tight that's why I don't wear them."
"Yes.. don't wear them if they hurt. Don't wanna pull out all that beautiful hair.." His eyes hold a familiar twinkle. The way he stares.. it reminds you of Erik. You don't wanna think about the meaning of it.
"Damn right.. Hey your pho's gonna get cold."
"Oh," his brows raise in faux offense. He picks up his soup spoon looking away for the first time. It's about time. "Well these.. knotless braids," he gestures with the spoon, "They look amazing on you," he smirks. "But you're already gorgeous, you know that."
"This from a Gene Kelly/James Dean lookalike. You look like you belong in a Marvel movie. That dark hair.. chiseled jaw? And who do you get those eyes from?"
"My grandma. My mom's eyes are carmel brown and so are my sister's. My father's are a darker brown."
"Punnet square kicked in hard."
"So tell me where your features come from," his eyes twinkle, hands folded under his strong chin. Your heart nearly skips a beat. It took a while for you to admit it to yourself because you'd have to admit you were lowkey using him.. but you knew what he was doing and how he felt from the start. That look was infatuation.
Opening doors, calling on me, paying for lunch every time, bringing me coffee? It's a lot.. Well that's because he likes me.. No It could be friendly, doesn't mean he likes me.
Almost everyday you told yourself the same thing.
I don't want him as anything more than a friend, maybe a work husband now that I know he's a cool lil white boy. I think he knows that..
Not when you flirt back he doesn't know that..
But is it really flirting or being nice? Besides I think he might feel the same.
A look into his eyes slams that possibility.
Who am I kidding. Maybe it's wrong to let him pay. Is that selfish?..
Girl, you're not dumb you know exactly what you're doing..
No, but really, I enjoy his company. I look forward to our little lunch outings as much as he does..
Then pay for yourself!..
I KNOW, but I don't.. want to...
Blinking, you sigh clearing your guilty conscience. "I look exactly like my dad but my personality is my mom."
"Oh really. That's where you get those adorably chubby cheeks from? Your dad? Interesting family photos I bet."
"Believe it or not that's also where I get this tummy and all this ass from," I say straight faced watching his cheeks sink in. On that note, he buries himself in his pho and I watch him hold himself together, the both of us laughing on the inside.
"You're ridiculous," he smiles down at his bowl. "What will I ever do with you.."
"Hopefully keep feeding me."
"Of course, Barb told me about a BBQ place about fifteen minutes from here. How about tomorrow?"
"Then I can show you pictures of my bootylicious father," you stare watching him collect himself again.
"Wow," he chokes on his broth. "Or we can look at yours, completely up to you."
-----
Never had it felt so good to be coming or going. Erik wheeled his bags through the station coolly, but internally he was leaping for joy like a little kid. After touching down in every continent through the military as a soldier and then a mercenary soldier, he was used to traveling. New locations, customs, and languages were the norm. War, battle, and toppling small countries for their resources and political control was the norm. It wasn't right, but it made big money and when his service ended, he retired. However, that didn't change the fact that he was still a multilingual and adaptable war weapon with no other real skill or interest other than killing. He was good at it so he made it a business. A consultant was what he called himself. Gameplay and development was the front.
Life as an assassin made him his own boss. He could kill and go off the map at will. He'd travel as far as it took to complete the task and take cash or cryptocurrency which he'd translate into several offshore accounts before his domestic ones. He'd usually buy a throwaway car, restock his ammo, spend time sunbathing on a yacht in the Maldives, hunker down in a city where he blended in and then isolate for a month wallowing in a small room before his next kill. Sightseeing wasn't on his agenda. He'd been all over the world and seen the worst of human nature. Texas had been a first as far as experiencing the high points anywhere. He'd enjoyed his stay with a woman and they'd gone on dates, real dates. He'd gone to an amusement park of all places and taken her around the city. It was magical though he'd almost been killed for it. Texas.. Not Cartagena or Havana or Jaipur but country ass Texas. Now here he was finally back in Cali. Nothing came close to the joy of having someone waiting for him. Someone who'd be overjoyed to see him. His job was done, his leg was healing up nicely, no one was after him because he'd left no one alive that could easily identify him. He was on his way home.
Home, he smiled somewhat bitterly. More like playing house.. Ain't none of this shit real and eventually it will end, probably in disaster.
Still.. He couldn't drop the facade for it was filling a hole within him that he hadn't realized until recently could be filled. He had latent desires. Playing house with her was the closest to a home he'd ever get.
-----
Erik's car takes premium gas and you wonder about his bills. Is he paying them? 'Cause you're not. He'd better have it worked out because once the lights go out in this isolated grand establishment, you're gone. You've gotten too used to walking around with every bright light in the house on at night. Walking through the bathroom butt naked you light the very last of his pricey looking black label white candles having burned through the rest of his supply. This one's Leather scented, not the best but not bad. That's why it was last. Locking the bathroom door out of habit, you run the shower and enjoy the luxurious spa room you've become accustomed to. The water pressure still hits. The warm thick white towels are fresh from the dryer. Your body is hairless from shaving and you've just purchased a new body oil to try that Ava swears by. Though you're only going to bed, you can't resist it. It smells like like fresh baked cookies from the oven and makes your skin radiate golden. It's perfect for a pool party or the beach.. whenever you end up going again which may be a while. Taking a few suggestive shiny body selfies in the towel, you decide to go ahead and send them to Erik though he doesn't deserve them. Someone has to see your glass skin. You hadn't spoken to him in the last two days as he'd been "busy". Doing what, you had no clue. It felt like bullshit. All of it. It was maddening to the point that you didn't want to care anymore, whether he returned or stayed. He'd been gone too long. Waaay too long. His reasons for wanting you out of Texas were beginning to feel like lies.
There's probably a huge harem of harlot whores he's entertaining and he doesn't want me to know he lied about only having three submissives, the asshole. He's probably in some twisted unsanitary orgy in a dark and questionable dungeon drinking glowing lime jello shooters and getting blackout drunk right now.. Probably whipping some poor girl with one of those long cowboy whips. God knows what he does with his other subs. If he was that dirty with Lil Bitch's morally debased ass and that was in front of me...
Every now and again the thought would cross your mind. Fuck him, you thought. Stay gone. I'll keep living here alone in the lap of luxury.
Never before had you been in a hot tub so often. It did wonders for a post work unwind with a smoothie or herbal tea in hand. You didn't need him when you had wifi, cable, powerful A/C, and a full fridge. He could stay with whoever he was with.
But what if he doesn't come back, your mind wonders darkly. What if he stays in Texas and never comes back?
Suddenly the house seems a lot chillier and unwelcoming.. Empty even. Too quiet. Hugging yourself for comfort you wander through the house and turn each of the lights off one by one to get an idea once more just how dark it gets. Too dark. Pitch black. You can't even see a hand in front of your face and panic sets in along with a strong inner body chill. This isn't something you can do and if Erik never comes back...
Honestly you've never seriously considered that possibility. The thought brings a loneliness that echoes the depth of darkness, both equally terrifying. The fact is that you do care.. profoundly to the point that his continued absence really bothers you. He has already become an indestructible pillar in your everyday life. Going days without so much as a hello feels like a week and that doesn't do much good for your anxiety.
Flipping each of the lights back on, you settle into Erik's bed this time around and stare at the time until you doze off. When you open your eyes there's natural light coming in through the window and you take a grateful breath before sitting up in the bed.
"Good morning," a chilling voice interjects and you nearly have a heart attack, unable to scream in the face of Flu sitting on the edge of the bed watching you. You want to run, scream, fight, anything but your body which is frozen in absolute fear and shock will not move. He smiles and you dart upright in bed sweating cold bullets and panting. Outside is still dark. According to the clock you've been sleep three and a half hours. It's 3:30 AM. Taking a deep breath to calm your breathing you look around the room comforting yourself with the mantra "It's just a dream. You're okay. You're okay. There's nothing to worry about. You've been safe and you're still safe. You're completely safe." A few minutes of repeating it and looking around, listening closely to the air has you relaxed enough to fall back asleep especially since your eyes are crossing up. When your eyes open again you check the clock. It's been almost another hour but you keep waking up.
Hold up. Didn't I have the light on?
Thinking back, your half sleep mind isn't completely sure but you know you sleep with the lights on. Nervous to move, your wide eyes search the pitch blackness before you and when you get the courage to move, you turn over bracing yourself to see Flu sitting there beside you on the bed. Nothing's there or out of the ordinary.
Did the lights go out? Did it blow? I think I had it on...
It's not getting up to explore. That's how people fir in movies. Instead, you bury your head in the covers like a small child and slip back into sleep. Or at least almost. Before you can cover your eyes with the blanket, you hear something that sounds like a slight vibration. That would be normal.. if your phone wasn't all the way downstairs.
A hand clamps over your mouth and as you feel a body quickly cover yours you grab at the darkness in attempt to gouge, scratch, and scrape whatever you can reach. When you pull locs, your brain registers and you yank them hard to get a noise.
"AHH," he whisper screams.
"ERIK WHAT THE FUCK?!" This time your lungs are free and healthy because you yell directly in his ear, slapping at him. "YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK." Breathless, you try to catch it, still swinging. "Why would you do that! What the fuck is wrong with you!"
"I wanted to surprise you," he grips your hands. "I didn't think you'd try to rip my damn hair out! And why your nails so sharp!"
"Are you mentally deficient? In what world did that seem like a good idea to you?!"
"Catch your breath," he says quietly.
Getting up he flips the lights and sits on the bed beside you. You haven't seen him in what feels like ages. "You still having nightmares." It's not a question as he looks in your tired eyes.
"Not often, just a couple of times since I've been on my own here." You didn't really have them when you two were together. He nods understanding your meaning. You hadn't mentioned it on the phone or through text. What could he have done about it anyway? There's a moment of silence as he rests his hand over your blanketed leg.
"I'm sorry for being away so long..," he says quietly. "I mean it. I'm sorry for scaring you.. I honestly didn't consider the nightmares because when we were together you didn't have them. I promise you, you are safe. He can't hurt you. There are many things in this world that can, but I promise he's not one.. and as long as I'm here I won't let anyone touch you. I will protect you with my life."
"That's good and all," you sigh, half listening and half asleep already. "But can you just.. stay here with me until I fall asleep."
"You in my bed," he smiles climbing fully dressed under the blanket to scoop you into his arms. Instantly your body clings to his and his shirt becomes your new pillow. You feel the quick sensation of his lips on your temple. "Did you miss me," he whispers. You mean to respond, but instead you fade out asleep.
-----
As soon as he'd slipped into the bed, she was knocked, sleeping soundly and breathing loud. He stroked her braids, her arm, and her back gently but firmly the way he always had when she needed help to relax.
"I missed you," he whispered into her forehead. She responded with a small fart and his nose crinkled. He didn't smell it which meant it was trapped under the blanket. She did it once more just then but it was louder. She'd be horrified if she were awake. "Y/N," he groaned hoping he wouldn't smell it. He didn't dare move though. He only sighed and continued rubbing her back. "Stink," he nicknamed her on the spot. "My lil stink stink," his stomach jumped in humor thinking of her reaction in the morning. He wanted to see the expression on her face when he called her that and when she heard the explanation of why. It made his chest shake. He tried to control it so not to wake her. She was sleeping too good for him to even get up and take his outside clothes off and they were hot to sleep in. He wanted to get comfortable.
That's okay, he decided as he settled in to fall asleep exactly where he was, under her. It took some effort to get comfortable in that position but in that moment there was no other place he'd have rather been.
@soufcakmistress @itsiesha @ju5tp34chy @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @blackpantherimagines @blackpinup22 @muse-of-mbaku @goddessofthundathighs @panthergoddessbast @thadelightfulone @misspooh @marvelmaree @youreadthatright @forbeautyandlife @theunsweetenedtruth @bidibidibombaclaat @myboyfriendgiriboy @dameshaemonique @hidden-treasures21 @mysidefanting @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @syndrlla97 @winteroflife @thotyana-in-this-hoe @texasbama @gingerylimonte @princessstevens @magic-madness-heavensin @wawakanda-btch @wakanda-inspired @blackgirloneshots @thegucciwaffle @thiccdaddy-mbaku @purplehairgawdess @indigoxsummers @dynastylnoire @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @they-call-me-le @theblulife @raysunshine78 @sheisexcellent-blog
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HnK Chapter 95 Thoughts: The cruelest chapter of all times
AKA: The chapter everyone hated
AKA: No happy ending in sight
AKA: Haruko Ichikawa is a monster
AKA: I called it again (and I wish I was wrong)
AKA: Talk about kicking someone while they’re down
Ms. Haruko Ichikawa. You’ve truly done it. You truly are a cruel, sadistic, trolling monster. You leave us with this chapter? This chapter that truly shows us that despite every hardship they faced, Phos gets nothing. This chapter shows that Phos was destined to be in constant misery, and to rub that in with literally everyone else is free and happy? And to add more salt to the wound, you’re leaving us on an hiatus for who knows how long??
This is without a doubt the cruelest chapter to leave us on and this is probably one of the cruelest things a mangaka can ever do for a series as intense as this. I wish the previous chapter was the last one for the end of this year because at least with that one, it would have given us some sense of something.
Man. I’m both horrified and amazed by you, Ms. Ichikawa. I’m not even being sarcastic, I’m truly in awe.
Ugh.
As you can see, I have several things I have to say about this and... Just wow. This chapter. In these posts, I try my best to try and write my thoughts with the most rational mindset but... I don’t know how well I’ll be able to do that with this chapter. What a way to end this horrible year.
But with this chapter’s ending and the implication for what is yet to come... this marks as the story’s descend to it’s bitter end, and I now wish I didn’t make that prediction last month.
I know I said in another post that I was going to write this in a few days, but I changed my mind. I’m getting this out now while my thoughts are still fresh in my mind. Please don’t mind the writing errors, I’m very tired, I’m writing this at 3 in the morning and I need to sleep. I promise I will come back to this and tidy it up later.
Anyways, here we go:
Haruko Ichikawa: Manipulator of emotions
Ms. Ichikawa really toyed with us with this chapter. So many things happened in such a short amount of time and I’m trying to process it. Also, doesn’t feel like too much happened in this chapter? Especially in comparison to the previous chapters, where everything was stretched out, to then have this chapter have so many things happen all at once. This chapter, in many ways, feels very rushed... and this style of story telling has me very worried about what’ll happen from here on out. I’ll talk more about what I mean by this later, but for now, let’s focus on the story of this chapter:
So... Antarctictite is back now. Adamant is back, too. So are most of destroyed gems, both the ones we knew and the ones we never got meet. And they are all now Lunarians... Hm.
I don’t like this or anything in this chapter for many reasons. In fact, I’ll go as far to say that I don’t like where the whole story is headed for these same reasons:
The first reason: The emotional turmoil from the previous chapters
For the past 10 or so chapters, I’d been anticipating the destruction of the gems and Adamant. I was one of the people who didn’t like the idea of it happening, though I knew they kind of deserve it. And I remember how sad I was seeing Adamant turn to nothing but dust and seeing how everything was affecting Phos after the bloodlust ceased.
But it all led up to...this. In the very next chapter, after watching those heart wrenching scenes of the gems being broken down and Adamant’s last moments with Phos...we see him and the other gems being brought back like it was nothing. And on top of that, they are totally happy Lunarians now. Yeah. Okay.
So it feels like the emotional tole that I felt for these characters I didn’t want to see get destroyed...meant nothing. Not going to lie: I kind of wish you all stayed destroyed.
And you know what? It’s kind of funny. In my Chapter 94 post, I said I was sad that we didn’t get to see Adamant and Aechmea interact and I didn’t think there would be a way now that Adamant is dust. Well. I was wrong. It happened. I got the interaction that wanted. Wasn’t worth it.
So to sum up this first reason: The emotional turmoil that I personally experienced watching the characters I like get destroyed... meant nothing in the end.
Now I don’t know how to feel about these characters. It sucks. I even had a post that I was starting write about on a certain controversial character that I couldn’t bring myself to hate, despite everything, but I’m now debating whether or not I should still write it. I think I will, but there will be a lot of edits.
The second reason: Negation of personal growth
One of the things that has been brought up many times by fans is about how the gems dealt with problems. Instead of trying to address the problem and talk to try to fix it, they chose to ignore it and sweep it under the rug, no matter how upsetting it is to the characters involved. All of the gems, both Earth and Moon, constantly choose to not confront the issue and stay blissfully ignorant.
And now that they’re accepting to be Lunarians, it feels like they’re just running away again. Instead of confronting the Lunarians or having the gems properly talking with each other about how things got to the point where they had to once fight each other, they are like: Oh, we can be Lunarians so we don’t have to fight with them anymore? Awesome. Let’s do it.
Everyone is once again going with the flow, just sweeping the glaring issues that they all carried for so long, and are just accepting the new reality that they are in with no problems whatsoever. No addressing of anything means no character growth for all of them. No one grew from this experience. No one learned that ignoring the problems doesn’t solve them. They aren’t solving their previous issues, they are masking it under the belief that becoming Lunarian automatically solves all of their problems.
No talking between Diamond or Bort. No talking with Yellow about their traumas or any of the other gems in the same boat. And no talking about how everything that happened lead to Phos doing what they did. It’s even more disappointing how Antarcticite was the only one who showed any concern about Phos or even thought to bring them up in the first place.
Edit: Also to add, the other problem here is how the are conscious choosing to remove your identity. They are not only choosing to loose their identity as gems, but they are fine loosing their memories as well. Not to mention how Cairngorm is once again being given a new identity to go by, from Aechmea, and is totally fine with it. That scene was small but once again, the fact that they are fine pretty much erasing what made them who they are is...unnerving.
So pretty much to sum up this: Once again, everything meant nothing in the end.
Speaking of Phos...
The third reason: Phos’s miserable fate
Phos, once again, got the short end of the stick. After everything that they’ve done, from trying to save everyone but themselves, to doing what was once seen as cruel for the sake of everyone to finally do something for themselves to go back to wanting to save the others after the bloodlust was gone... to get this ending for themselves.
But wow, what a cruel twist: Phos’s old goal was fulfilled. Thanks to them, the gems don’t have to live in fear of being destroyed or taken or anything. Thanks to Phos, everyone is free. Everyone now is going to be happy for the rest of their existance...at the cost of Phos’s expense.
Phos lost everything.
Their body.
Their sanity.
Their identity.
Everything.
What do they get in return?
10,000 years of nothing but their own miserable existence and dark, depressing thoughts.
In the end, everything that Phos experienced not only sent them crashing down to rock bottom: it sent him to the chore of the earth, back out the other side, then back into the earth, in an endless cycle of just constant misery.
That’s a theme in buddhism, if that’s what I’m recalling right from @rinboz‘s posts: a cycle of continuous misery. That is clearly embodied here through Phos and Phos will continue to suffer the pain of existing while everyone else got what they wanted in the end, especially Aechmea.
Speaking of which, I also genuinely want to know if there’s still fans out there who view Aechmea as a good guy for ‘liberating’ Phos, because as far as I see, thanks to him, Phos is now stuck in an even more miserable form of existence. At least before everything, everyone was miserable together with Phos. Sort of. Still better than what we got with this chapter, in my opinion. (Please do share your thoughts, if you do. I promise, this is not an attack. I’m just interested to hear your thoughts, if you’re willing to share)
But now, there’s no there for Phos. And unlike those other instances where Phos was in a situation and someone somewhat saves them like Adamant and Padparadscha once did before, there’s no one there. So unless there’s some Admirabilis hiding around there or if the Gem/lunarians decide to come to them, which I doubt will happen, there’s no one for Phos. No one is coming to help/save them.
Phos will have to suffer all alone. For 10,000 years. Phos is the last existing gem being now...even though technically, they aren’t really a gem anymore.
Once again, to sum up why I don’t like this chapter nor how the story has progressed: Phos’s suffering meant nothing to them in the end. That’s the other theme I’m trying to hammer in in this post: Everything meant nothing in the end.
I’ve already seen a few fans react to the chapter and I saw one state that if the Lunarians, including the gems, were to come to Phos to pray for them, the poster hopes Phos tells them to “F* off” And you know what, I hope so too. But this revelation has me fearing for what’s going to happen the series, or more specifically, how and when it’ll officially end.
No true happy ending in sight and not exactly for the reasons you think
As always, it’s hard to predict how Ms. Ichikawa is going to end this series. Us fans made many predictions and a good number of them came true, but it’s the ending that eludes us. Some hope for a happy ending for Phos, while many, including myself, predict that it’ll be anything but happy. And now, with this chapter...I think it’s set in stone now.
Last month, in response to someone asking me how I think the series might end, I made a few small predictions. Some for a good ending, a bittersweet ending, and a bad ending....
...and it looks like that first sad ending is where the series is heading after all:
Everyone is gone/moved on and Phos stays behind as a lonely, immortal being.
Even though this small prediction was correct, how it’s all playing out was not exactly how I’d envisioned. It’s worse. And what’s making me even more worried is that based off of where the story is headed, my gut feelings are saying that the series ending is near. And it won’t be to anyone’s satisfaction.
Whenever I get invested in a series, other than worrying about how the creators will handle their characters and story, one of my biggest worries is about how the creators handle their ending. I’m truly afraid about what Ms. Ichikawa is planning for this series because I can’t help but fear it’s not going to end well. It’s not the worry that the series will have a sad/bittersweet ending, even though that concern is still there though I’ve accepted the likelihood, but rather I’m worried that the next chapter or so will be the abrupt end to this series. This concern is because of how rushed this chapter felt and I can’t help but worry that Ms. Ichikawa is now rushing to the end of the story. And to be honest, the addition fact that Ms. Ichikawa is going on hiatus is not helping these uneasy feelings.
I hate being the pessimistic one but what if this happens? What if Ms. Ichikawa decides to end the series here or in the next chapter? What if the next chapter is literally another time skip, with all of the characters that I once cared about just NOT progressing, and Phos continuously being stuck in this immortal and we’re expected to accept this as the ending. Because other than Phos, everyone’s story, from what it looks like, is at their end now. I really hope that doesn’t happen. I’ve seen great series end so terribly too often and I’ve loved this story for so long that I hope that doesn’t happen with this series too. I love this series a lot and it’s characters, even the ones who I don’t think I like as much as I did after this chapter. I hope the series will end nicely... but I don’t think it will.
Back to predictions on how the story will progress: I made a post a few days ago about how I hope the forgotten plot elements will come into play and the fact that Aechmea isn’t omnipresent. More than ever, part of me hopes those elements will come back and have a positive impact for Phos’s story, especially the omnipresent part. But again, I don’t think I’ll hope too much for it because looking at Ms. Ichikawa’s past works... I don’t think they will, at least not in the way I’m hoping for.
Maybe I’m too used to Western (American/European) stories, where the protagonist somehow beats the odds and wins in the end. This isn’t always the case for Eastern stories, especially stories from Japan. They usually end bittersweet and I don’t think Houseki no Kuni will be the exception. I know I’ve said this saying many times before and with each passing chapter, these words become more and more true:
Phos’s suffering is never going to end.
And unless someone does something to change the course of the story, which I don’t think will ever happen now, Phos is never going to have a happy ending.
If I could wish for anything, it’d be that this story ends on a satisfying note. I know, I know. It’s foolish to still hope for that it’ll happen, given everything I’ve seen from Ms. Ichikawa before...But still. I don’t want to lose all of the hope that I have left for this series. Even though that hope is nearly diminished, it’s still there.
So please, Ms. Ichikawa. Please give us a satisfying ending for Phos. Please let them go. If anyone deserves a dignifying conclusion to their story, it’s them. Let them rest. End their suffering. Please give them the ending they deserve after everything they went through.
You’ll likely won’t though.
Because this is Phos.
And to be Phos is to constantly suffer.
Well, regardless, I truly hope you’re hiatus goes well, Ms. Ichikawa. Even though you are a cruel troll, your work is still amazing and I applaud you for your story telling and your love to mess with us. I hope you enjoy your time away and when you return, I hope that you’ll continue to give us amazing content and eventually give Phos the ending they deserve. Please. That’s all I want.
I hope you all a nice holiday season, too, or at least try to.
Happy Holidays.
Can’t wait for 2020 to end.
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Hi! If you are still taking requests, can I please request a fic where Carlos is suffering from chronic pain of some sort (maybe from an old injury that randomly flares up or perhaps a more recent one that he is still recovering from) and TK does what he can to help ease is pain? I just really want to read a fic where poor Carlos is miserable/in lots of pain, but he has TK there taking care of him. <3
holly's august extravaganza day 23: lover, be good to me
thank you for the prompt!
ao3 | 1k | hurt/comfort, soft tarlos, fluff
“I’m sorry,” Carlos mumbles, hissing as he tries and fails to turn towards TK. The pain in his hip has gone from a dull ache to an agonising fire that lances up and down his leg whenever he tries to move it.
He should have known this would happen—he did know this was going to happen. But he and TK haven’t had time for a proper date since the night Carlos proposed three months ago, both of them caught up in wedding planning and picking up extra shifts to help with money. Carlos knew he was pushing himself too far, but he’d desperately wanted this night for them, enough that he thought it would be worth the pain.
But he’d severely miscalculated. The mild ache he’s learned to live with had quickly gone downhill as he’d strained the limb more and more, until he’d almost passed out trying to put his boots on this morning. His leg wouldn’t go more than half a foot in the air before his hip started screaming at him; he’d collapsed back on the bed, breathing hard, and reluctantly came to the conclusion that he’d fucked up.
“What for?” TK asks, sliding into bed next to him.
Carlos barely suppresses a snort—what doesn’t he have to apologise for? “For pushing myself too hard when I knew what would happen. For taking it out on you.” He winces, remembering the way he’d snapped at TK when the pain became too much. TK gently squeezes his hand and drops a kiss on his shoulder, but his easy forgiveness only serves to make Carlos feel more guilty.
He sighs, carefully leaning back into TK’s warmth. “And I’m sorry for ruining our date.”
“Hey,” TK says sternly. “Nothing’s ruined, alright? And this is not your fault. Your injury was an accident, and no-one could have known what would happen.”
“I knew, though. This time—”
“Babe.” TK sighs and tangles his hands in Carlos’s hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. “It’s not your fault. And as for the date… Since when have we had to leave the bedroom to have fun?”
Despite himself, despite the agony still dominating his senses, Carlos laughs, blindly reaching back to weakly swat at TK’s thigh. Or, where he thinks TK’s thigh is. “Hate to break it to you, babe, but that’s not on the table either.”
A quiet moment passes, then Carlos grits his teeth and shifts, the muscles in his thigh and hip protesting painfully as he rolls towards his fiancé. TK sits up, trying to stop him, but Carlos is determined; he needs to look at him.
“I really am sorry,” he says, half-whispering. “We’ve been waiting for this for months, and now we can’t do anything because of me.”
“Says who?” TK challenges, quirking an eyebrow. Carlos frowns but he doesn’t get a chance to ask before TK leans down and kisses him. “Listen, I’m going to deal with a few things, you rest, and maybe we can try something this evening.”
Carlos could tell TK now that this evening is off the cards as well, but he’s got that excited look on his face, and Carlos doesn’t have the heart. Instead, he nods, giving TK a small smile, which drops as soon as his fiancé is out the door.
He feels so useless, stuck in bed like this, but, as he’s reminded once again when his vision whites out as he tries to move his leg, he doesn’t have any other options.
Carlos sighs and flicks on the TV, hoping The Office will provide enough of a distraction to get through the next few hours.
*
He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knows, there’s a loud shuffling and grunting noise coming from outside the bedroom door.
“Ow,” comes TK’s muffled voice, and Carlos has to bite back a laugh as the door eventually swings open, revealing TK slowly backing into the room.
“You okay, babe?” he asks, though he almost regrets it as TK jumps violently, coming perilously close to dropping whatever he’s holding all over the floor.
Once recovered, TK turns and frowns at him. “No thanks to you,” he grumbles, causing Carlos to actually laugh this time. TK pouts. “I can and will leave you here.”
“No, you won’t.” Carlos holds his arms out, and TK comes willingly, setting what Carlos now recognises as a tray of food carefully on the bed. He groans softly as TK helps him to sit upright, then lifts an eyebrow at him. “What’s this?”
TK stares as if it’s obvious. “Date night.”
“What?”
TK pauses, then gasps. “You’re right.” He pats himself down frantically, then pulls an object out of his pocket with a dramatic flourish. It’s a little electric tea light—real candles long since banned from the bedroom—and Carlos watches in bemusement as TK flicks it on and sets it down on the tray. “Now it’s date night.”
Carlos huffs a laugh and shakes his head, turning to inspect the contents of the tray. There are two bowls of pho from his favourite Vietnamese place, a small bouquet of flowers, and that tiny tea light providing a weak yellow glow over the whole ensemble. His heart swells, tears gathering in his eyes, and he leans over, heedless of his leg, to kiss TK.
“You’re ridiculous,” he informs him, more than a little thickly.
“I’m romantic,” TK counters petulantly, but his smile is soft as he looks at Carlos. “I don’t care whether we go out or not, babe. I just want to spend time with you.”
“Even if I’m miserable and in pain and snapping at you about it?”
“Even then.” TK kisses him again and briefly knocks his head against Carlos’s shoulder. “Now eat your dinner.”
Carlos laughs and returns the gesture, before picking up the chopsticks from the tray. He hovers them above the dish, pausing for a moment and looking at TK, who already has a noodle hanging out of his mouth. “I love you.”
TK says something incoherently, before hastily swallowing his mouthful of pho, a pink flush painting his cheeks. “I love you too,” he repeats.
It’s not the date they planned, but Carlos has to wonder if this isn’t even better. And, he realises, as they eat and talk, he hasn’t thought about his pain in a long time. It’s still there; it’s not going away soon, but, with TK at his side, it’s become much more manageable.
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Daybreak (7/?) [Wolf Keum x Reader x Alex Go]
Summary: The day brings to you Alex Go, and in the night, Wolf Keum.
Your past is inescapable. They build you up and tear you back down, but this is what you need to survive.
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama
——
There were three messages from Alex on your phone for you when you got back home.
One concerned for your wellbeing, one worried for whether you got home, and another apologizing for being brash.
You skimmed all of them and opened none.
Night turned into day, and that day into another night, until eventually a week had gone past.
He hadn't messaged you again. Even though you weren't expecting anything, you still waited for something, anything, to happen.
You knew you had to be the one to reach out again, but whenever you opened your messages and stared at his name, a stone would sit itself in your gut and weigh you down, heavy, burdensome and unrelenting until you put the phone down.
The thought that perhaps allowing yourself to become close to Alex Go wasn't such a good idea, the thought that maybe someone like you, so stuck and still hurting in the past would only serve to anchor him down, ran through your mind.
You tried everything to distract yourself.
Within the week you had been thrust back into loneliness, you were a fish out of water. You tried to grasp at anything to occupy the space in your mind, jogs in the morning, after school, in the middle of the night. It tired you out, but never enough to placate your mind.
Between the bouts of exercise, you tried to understand the situation. You think about Alex Go and his friend Ben in middle school, and you thought about Alex Go and you in the present.
You think about the broken the stoplight, and how it connected to the night everything changed.
He had been the one to destroy the traffic light.
You had many days and nights to ponder about this, alone in your room. He was the reason that on that fateful night, on that sad, dim street corner, the light flashed erratically between "go" and "stop." He was the reason it was brandished forever in your mind, your mourning heart, and on blood stained hands.
Your chest ached with regret, so deep and harrowing that you wished you could tear it out. It was curious how reckless life was with passion, sincerity and good will. It stung especially painfully seeing indifference and injustice can convene so sharply right before your eyes. One second there, the next gone.
When you closed your eyes, you could still see your hand, bleached with moonlight and stilled, reaching out to him. A whisper on your lips, dying on your breath to fall upon deafened ears.
All bitter memories.
Dampening your eyes and shaking your core, but no matter where you looked, how many reasons you turned over, you could find no spite for Alex Go.
The same Alex Go who, when smiling, parted the clouds and called off the rain.
Alex Go, who could never wish harm on anyone, not intentionally.
In a desperate attempt to salvage peace of mind, you had picked up the pen again despite knowing what would happen.
You'd just write whatever was on your mind. It wasn't a story, or a continuation to a novel, it was just pages and pages of nonsense with no exact order. And though it was indubitably the voice of your mind, you felt nothing while writing it and it frustrated you to no end.
It couldn't be helped, these words had been bouncing around your head so long they had made refuge in your skin, your fingers, controlling your life long before they were on paper. But you didn't need to see your thoughts to understand them. You needed solace. Needed peace. Needed someone to tell you that you would be okay.
But you didn't have these things, so you kept pressing on, like pouring out these words could help you find the ones you wanted to send Alex when the basin was empty. Poised and pen in hand, for as long as you could, like endurance training, until your wrists burned and your body ached.
It never lasted long, those bouts of writing. So when you could no longer run, or think, or write, you would toss in turn in bed, skimming the brink of sleep and consciousness. There would be moments of clarity, and they always hit you hard and fast. Made you grab for your phone, adrenaline roaring through your veins when you typed out a response to him, something, anything.
Sometimes it was an apology or a simple hello, but other times the sensation would give you an intense high.
You'd remember his laugh, the fierceness to which he defended you from the bitter taste of blame, and it was then that your heart reached out to him, a cacophony of white noise and static that would always die at your fingertips when you hit backspace, remembering the hurt on his face, the pain because of you.
Then you'd think of Wolf. Somehow, at the end of every restless night you spent rolling in bed, hazel eyes flashed in your vision, watching you inscrutably. Hot like fire, icy like a tundra. Almost close enough to touch and feel the burn, the chill.
Tonight as you lay in bed, you ponder the weekend ahead of you. Wonder how many nights you spent alone in your room. Think about your classmates making more memories while you keep reliving your own in a nightmarish daze.
You think about these things until you exhaust yourself, but even then, sleep refuses to claim you.
So you pick yourself up, dust yourself off. Pull on some clothes, comb through your hair. Then you're out the door again, in search of something to make you feel alive.
When you arrive in front of the bar, the moon is strung high and the stars hang far below it, dipping into the darker crevices of Yeongduengpo. It's later than you'd normally show up and catching Wolf at this hour would be nothing short of a miracle, but you were willing to take your chances.
And then like magic he's right in front of you, before you even open the door, before you even enter the bar.
He's with his friends, the same ones that had seen you the first night and a couple more.
One of his hands is braced on the door, and for a second you think that perhaps he's taken by surprise as much as you are. There's a glimmer in his eye, a quirk of his lip. Then the bell chimes above your heads and pulls you back to reality, suddenly feeling quite small and vulnerable in front of so many prying eyes.
Your fingers tingle so you reach up to tug at your top, the chill of the night air biting into your flesh and raising gooseskin.
Your eyes dart from Wolf to the men behind him, wondering if you should address him, if being associated with you in public was damaging to him.
Before you can think too much, Wolf gives a feral grin. "I'll catch up later. Don't wait up."
It only occurs that he isn't speaking to you when the intimidating crowd moves past him without further question, muttering about which internet café was open 24/7 and who had enough money to pay.
They give passing glances as they saunter past you, though none of them seem to suspect you were the reason for Wolf's sudden change of plans, or even recognize you as the wayward drunk from the weeks prior.
You turn and watch them make their way down the block, spitting and cussing and scaring people into crossing the street. Only when they're specks in the distance to you turn back to Wolf Keum, who's lavender hair gleamed nearly silver in the moonlight.
He's still propping the door open, more leaning on it now than anything else.
"Well?"
You swallow thickly, still a bit stunned from the parade of delinquents he showcased just now.
Just who was Wolf Keum?
The men who you had seen just were no doubt untame, with their school uniforms unbuttoned, hair dyed and tongues lashing obscenities.
Yet still with all these pugnacious men in one place, Wolf had managed to command them without even turning to address them directly.
You wondered what about this man could be so powerful, so strong that he could instill his rule as absolute with even such fearsome crowds.
His lips curve into a salacious smirk at your gaping, and only then do you realize he's waiting for you to come in.
You slip from the crisp autumn air into the thrumming atmosphere of the bar with a murmur of an apology, Wolf following not too far behind you.
"You an alcoholic or something?" It's a jest, but the tone of his voice is buttery and dark and makes it much less funny and more nerve-wracking.
"Worry about yourself." You bite, and it comes out curter that anticipated so you chew your lip, trying hard not to look too ashamed.
Wolf isn't deterred, falling in stride beside you and not missing a beat. "It was a business meeting, can't drink through that, as much as those fuckasses make me want to."
You want to respond to his quips, but your mind is preoccupied with the hordes of people swarming the premises.
There's a larger crowd than you're used to, much more mature individuals, faces lined with wrinkles, exacerbated by the yellow lighting, palming at their temples.
The usual low hum of conversation is replaced with occasional shouts and crashing glass, though no one seems to think this is unusual but yourself. You push onwards until you see that there's a tired looking businessman in your usual seat.
Wolf senses your hesitation and follows your gaze, catching wind of the situation. He leans over a bit, hands in his pockets, breath hot on your ear.
"You seen the billiards room downstairs before?"
You shake your head no and you can feel him chuckle, exhaling air through his nose. He takes one step forward then another, ambling through the mass of people without another word.
For the brief moment he leaves your side, time slows down. You watch Wolf's retreating back and feel almost alone. The bar, usually your place of comfort, had turned unfamiliar and foreign, leaving a cold sensation in your chest.
Your heartbeat comes slow and heavy in your ears, like a beating drum. You wonder why you're even here, what you have to prove to yourself, or anyone else.
Fingers clutch at your bag, feeling the outline of your phone, cool and solid in your grasp. You wonder if you had any new messages.
"You coming?"
Wolf calls to you over his shoulder, waiting in the middle of the crowd that seems to part for him naturally.
He extends a hand to you, fingers still, gaze unwavering. His dark eyes dance in the lights, lips pulled into a curve echoing a crescent moon. A man of the night, shining amongst the stars, brightest in the darkest hours.
"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking."
You reach out and your fingers graze his hand, a gossamer touch, his skin calloused and soft to the touch. A blush works its way across your cheeks and you're glad he doesn't catch it, already turned away to make his way to the crowd.
He wraps his hand around your fingers and tugs you along, guiding both of your bodies through the restless throng, past the bar, past the tables and to a staircase shrouded in darkness, illuminated by a single golden lightbulb.
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Bechloe week 2021, Day 2
A/N: I don’t know why my friend Tumblr here puts such big spaces between paragraphs, I couldn’t fix it, so… Try to ignore it. This is Bechloe week day 2, pitches. I hope you like this one. Might publish it on ff.net or wattpad as a fic, but for now it is a one-shot.
Summary: Beca, Chloe and Amy are moving to L.A., so Beca could pursue her career and be away from Jesse. The three girls are roommates. Chicago doesn’t exist here ‘cause this is set after Pitch Perfect 2, not 3. So yeah. It is more interesting than it sounds, I just don’t know how to describe it without spoiling anything.
This happened right after graduation. Beca wanted to move to Los Angeles, so she can pursue with her career and be away from her ex, Jesse. The DJ just needed a change, but she didn’t want to be alone. She brought her best friends Chloe and Fat Amy with her. Like most of the other Bellas, Aubrey didn’t want to leave the city and quit her current job, which she loved, but she promised she’ll come to visit the three girls often, when she could.
“It’s such a shame that Aubrey couldn’t be here with us. I’m going to miss her.” - Chloe sighed, as the three girls were walking towards the street, where their rented apartment was supposed to be. Beca was right next to the ginger, they were holding hands despite the brunette’s complaints.
“I’m not.” - Beca replied, but both girls next to her knew she was kidding.
“Oh, come on, Bec.” - Chloe looked at her friend. “I know you will. You and Aubrey might not always be on the best terms, but-
“I know, I was kidding.” - the brunette cut her friend off. “I just had to say that. You know me.” - Beca smirked.
“We’re here!” - Fat Amy announced, when she looked up from the map she was looking at on her phone. “Are you ready for us, L.A.?” - she yelled, before entering the building. Her friends laughed and followed after her.
“Which floor should the apartment be on?” Beca said what all three girls were thinking.
“I keep in touch with the cute landlord, let me check.” - Amy opened her Messenger app and scrolled a bit, until she found the landlord’s profile. “Floor 6, lesss go!” - the blonde rushed up the stairs. Beca and Chloe had a hard time catching up with her. She must really be into that landlord of theirs.
When the girls reached the sixth floor, a handsome guy was waiting for them there. He wore a beautiful smile and he had a toothpick in his mouth. He had shoulder-length brown, curly hair and brown eyes. He saw the girls looking around a bit, so he said:
“Right here, ladies!” - he greeted them with a hand and helped them with their luggage. “You’re my new renters, yeah?” - he asked. The boy had an irresistible Australian accent.
“We surely are now…” - Amy looked at him from head to toe.
“Oh, another Australian. There aren’t too many of us here, so it’s nice to see a friendly face.” - the boy replied. “I recognized you from your profile picture. You’re Amy, yeah?”
“Yeah.” - Amy said. “Your profile picture didn’t tell me too much about you, but… I gotta say you’re hotter in person.”
“Ah, thanks.” - the boy scratched the back of his head. “The name’s Will. Will Warten.” - he added and moved to the side, so the girls could come in. “I hope you like this place. It was my home for 7 years, before I bought it from the owner.”
“Wait, you were a renter too?” - Chloe asked, intrigued, and crossed her arms.
“Sure. But I loved it in here so much that eventually I bought it.” - Will put the luggage in the living room, which was right in front of the front door. The girls sat on the couch.
“How did you decide to put it for rent again?” - Chloe asked. Beca smirked at the fact how curious her friend was and looked at her.
“Well, I thought it would be selfish if I keep this wonderful place to myself. I wanted to share it, so other people can experience what I have. I met the love of my life here.” - after Will said that, a girl joined them in the living room, she was a thin blonde with hazel eyes. She rested her hands on Will’s shoulders, who had his back on her. He was sitting on the armchair.
“What a nice surprise!” - Amy exclaimed, although both Beca and Chloe knew she was sarcastic. “How long have you two been together?”
“Um, 5 years, I think.” - Will said. “She was my roommate. We didn’t know each other at first, but we were both new in town. We fell in love soon after we got to know each other.”
“You fell in love.” - the unknown girl corrected Will. He laughed.
“Well, yeah, but… You followed soon after.” -he replied. “Everyone, this is my lovely fiancé Katelyn.” - Amy practically shot the other blonde girl with her eyes. “We live next door, so if you need anything-
“Honey, you forgot to show them around!” - Katelyn intervened again. From what the girls heard, she sounded American.
“Right.” - the brown-haired boy stood up. “This way, please.” - he pointed at the room, which was on the living room’s right. The renters followed him and looked inside the room. “This is one of the rooms, the other is next to it and looks kinda the same, but the bed is smaller. And the kitchen is at the end of the hall.”
“There is only one bed.” - Beca noticed.
“Yeah, but… It is big enough and… you guys are friends, two of you can share it, yeah?”
Beca wasn’t sure. She had to share a bed once, with Chloe, in fact, but after what happened in the tent at Aubrey’s camp, she didn’t want to repeat the situation. The brunette was silent for a moment, which Will interpreted as a problem.
“Is there some kind of a problem?” - he raised a brow.
“No.” - Beca lied. “We’ll be just fine.”
The DJ didn’t see how Chloe’s smile turned into a frown. She knew what was going on in Beca’s mind. She knew the brunette was uncomfortable around her after what she told her in the tent. But she still couldn’t explain to herself why was Beca okay with holding hands with her. She didn’t know why Beca was okay with Chloe occasionally kissing her. The redhead didn’t know many things. But she was bound to find out.
“One of you can sleep on the sofa, it’s no issue.” - Will suggested.
“Yeah, it’s fine.” - Beca forced a smile, but she wasn’t very good at it.
“One thing, though.” - the brown-haired boy added. “No sex on the sofa.”
“Sure.” - Chloe sighed and looked at Beca, the redhead’s mind was somewhere else entirely. “No problem.”
“Alright, then. Kat and I are leaving. If you need anything… well, you know.” - with that, the landlords left.
“What are we going to do?” - Beca asked with crossed arms. Chloe knew exactly what she meant.
“What do you mean?” - the redhead tried to smile. “We’ve done this before, two of us are going to share a bed. No big deal.” - Beca looked at her friend and didn’t really know what to say.
“I call dibs on the other bed!” - Fat Amy rushed to the other room and sat on the bed. “This room has better view.” - she explained. The two other girls laughed.
“So, I guess we’ll sleep on the other bed.” - Chloe moved closer to Beca, wearing a big smile on her face.
“No.” - Beca replied with a serious face. That made Chloe’s smile disappear. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“But wait, you guys are dating, why don’t you sleep together? I meant… Well, you know what I meant.” - Fat Amy said.
“For the last time, we’re not dating!” - Chloe said. It was the first time that Chloe was the one who said that. That surprised Beca.
“What? Yes, you are! You’re, like, always holding hands and kissing, you can’t tell me you’re just really good friends, that’s horseshit!” - the other two girls didn’t really know what to say to that, so they didn’t.
….
Quickly, the night came and all girls were in their rooms, except for Beca, who was in the living room, on the couch. She never foresaw how lonely she was going to be on the couch. The whole evening she spent thinking about Chloe and how she probably hurt her, even though the redhead never said anything about Beca’s choice.
The three girls had spend the whole day at the beach, but Beca left Amy and Chloe do all the talking. The DJ didn’t engage in conversations with them much. She spoke only when they asked her something. Even at dinner, Beca was silent and kept to herself. Her eyes were on the plate and she did her best to keep them that way. The DJ knew Chloe suspected something, but she never asked her what’s up, most likely because the ginger didn’t feel like talking to her friend. She was hurt and Beca got that. The brunette never really apologized for what she did. She wanted to, but she was never good at words. She didn’t really even know why she refused fo share a bed with Chloe. Hell, the brunette even liked her, to say the least. The reason she was uncomfortable with sharing a beg with Chloe was the fact that she was afraid Chloe might find out about Beca’s little crush. Last time, when the ginger basically offered Beca to experiment with her, Beca had an answer ready. But, on a bad day she might not have it and that’ll make the redhead suspicious. So Beca couldn’t have that.
‘Too many emotions today, time to relax.’ - Beca thought. To her, that meant, well, masturbating.
So she pulled out her phone and browsed photos of Chloe. When she chose one she made the blanket cover everything beside her head and started the action. It felt amazing, knowing you’re getting off to your crush. It almost felt like you’re having sex with them. Will said no sex on the couch. He didn’t say anything about masturbating.
But Beca had too much on her mind to hear Chloe’s door open. The redhead immediately realized what her friend was doing, but she didn’t know what the other girl was watching and what made her breathe with such weird frequency. It sounded kinda hot. So when Chloe grabbed the brunette’s phone, Beca was caught by surprise.
“Hey!” - the DJ immediately tried to get her phone back, but Chloe lifted it up, beyond Beca’s reach. “You know this is not fair. Just give it back!”
“Oh, I’ll give it back.” - Chloe smirked. “Right after I find out what you were watching.” - Chloe’s gaze shifted to the phone.
“No, Chloe, don’t!” - Beca begged, but the redhead wasn’t listening.
“Oh, my…” - the redhead put a hand over her mouth, but then she laughed.
“What’s so funny?” - Beca was furious right now. Not only did Chloe violate her privacy, but now she was going to tease her about it.
“All these years. You felt the same.” - Chloe gave Beca her phone back. “We’re two idiots in love who could have been together, but were too afraid to do something about it. It’s funny.”
“No, it’s not, actually-
“If you shared the bed with me, you wouldn’t masturbate to my picture and I never would’ve caught you redhanded. Guess there’s one good thing about you sleeping on the couch.” - Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca’s neck.
“I… I don’t know what to say, it is all so… weird, and I-
“Shhh….” - Chloe put her index finger on Beca’s mouth. “No need for words. And… guess now you’ll want to share the bed with me.”
“Guess so.” - Beca smirked and let Chloe’s tongue inside her mouth. It all felt so good. And, as Beca said, so… weird.
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I'm a fucking alcoholic (with a sweet tooth)
Fandom : Chicago PD TV
Word count : 1,623 words
Pairing : Jay Halstead x reader
Author's note : This is the third one shot of "Will you follow through if I fall for you" fic continuation. It would be better if you read it first. But if you don't, here's the quick summary.
Warning : It's fluff. I hope it doesn't end up too cringy?
Disclaimer
◢◤
It is a cold Friday in Chicago. You would say it is super cold since you worked in the warm weather of Los Angeles last week. Jay is coming over to your place after work. Now both of you are snuggling on the couch, watching movies on TV.
"I cannot watch this part," You hide your face in Jay's chest, preparing for the frightening scene. The darkness in the room increases the tension.
"What are you talking about? This is not even a horror movie," Jay looks down at you, bemused.
"Say you! Watching Tom Cruise blowing up a Gallardo distressed me. My soul is crying. It is a nightmare!"
You move out from Jay's embrace to point out the screen where Maggie Q said it is such a nice car. "Yes, it is! Don't do it, Zhen," yell you at the TV.
However, The Lamborghini on screen still went kaboom and was engulfed in fire. "Oh, no!" You put your hand on your heart, feeling devastated.
Jay grins at your silliness, "I'm sorry for your loss," He rubs your back, offering his condolences. However, his smile turns flirty. "If there's anything I can do to ease your pain..."
You play along with his idea. "Hmm, is that so?" Your hands wrap around Jay, pulling him closer. Your nose is tracing his neck, up to his jaw, his cheek. Your lips softly grace his skin, make their way closer to his. Jay wasted no time to kiss you and keep kissing you.
You don't know how long it goes, and you don't care to know. Until Jay moves back abruptly, tilting his head away from you, "Your pho..."
Your lips cut his words as you get on his lap. Jay puts his hands on your waist to stop you, halfheartedly, "Babe, your phone is ringing,"
Your hands curl behind his neck. "Let it ring." You whisper to his ear. Jay shudders when he feels your breath on his neck. Your mouth soon follows to make a mark on the same point. Jay tries to hold himself back from reciprocating the gesture.
Unlike Jay and his work, you got no obligation to pick up your phone. No life or death depends on you tonight. But the phone keeps shrieking. It started to annoy you because Jay stops participating in this make-out session.
"Might be important," This is one of the rare times you want to curse Jay's occupation.
"I assure you it won't be," You try to get Jay back in the game.
"Well, at least you can tell them to call you back later," Jay lands a soft kiss on your forehead. With a loud sigh, you move away from Jay's lap to pick up your phone.
Seeing the caller ID frustrates you even further. "You are interrupting our date night," is the first thing you say to your best friend, Alex, when you receive the call and put it on speaker.
"Hi, Jay!" Alex chirps his greeting, ignoring your complaint.
Jay greets back with a chuckle, "Hey, man. Nice to hear from you," He takes the remote to pause the movie, where Tom Cruise is gunning a Mercedes CLK down the road.
"No, it's not." You grumble under your breath. "What's up? Did you just come up with a song idea that would make Bruno Mars wished he wrote it?"
As a fellow songwriter/producer, you understand that song inspiration could come anytime. But it would still piss you off if Alex insists on working for it tonight.
"Not yet. But we do have a potential project for you,"
"Couldn't it wait until next week?" You moan your refusal. "Jay and I got plans for the weekend,"
"Of course. As long as you promise to pick up your phone when Angelique calls. I know you have been dodging her." Alex chides you.
Huffing your aversion, you lay your head on Jay's lap. In reflex, he plays with your hair. "Who's Angelique? A new talent?" Jay never heard that name before. He is pretty sure that he knows everybody at Pyramid, Alex's record label in Amsterdam where you work for.
Alex starts to explain, "She is a singer. Been around for a while,"
"Country singer, turned bubblegum pop singer, and now I guess she wants to try dance music as well?" You elaborate to Jay and asking Alex at the same time. You have written and produced songs from various genres, but your notable works so far are mostly EDM.
"Maybe," Alex answers casually.
"Angelique..." Jay ponders for a moment before lighting up, "Oh! Is she the one whose songs you keep skipping whenever they pop up, babe?"
Your best friend lets out a big laugh from the other side of the phone. "Angelique wants Y/N to produce her next album, but all of a sudden Y/N here cannot find the receive button on her phone," Alex emphasizes his sarcasm.
"I took yours, didn't I?"
However, Alex begins his interrogation. "Why are you avoiding her calls anyway?"
"I don't wanna work with her," You know you sound petulant.
"Come on, Y/N, it would be great! Angelique's third album sold triple more than her second. Her last single went neck to neck with Taylor Swift's song. Now, she is gonna let you work on her fourth album! Other producers would kill for this opportunity," Alex tries to reason.
Jay whistles, being impressed by the story.
"Well, my boyfriend here is a cop. I don't wanna get involved in any criminal activity," You are intentionally being obtuse. "If it were so great, why don't you do it? You're the one who still works on stage."
"You know people talked about how you could be the next Max Martin, right? Made sense that she asked for you," Alex states. "Angelique doesn't need another artist to perform with her. She needs someone who writes and produces good stuff."
"Every producer could be the next Max Martin if they work hard," You shrug the notion.
Jay looks confused with all these new names. "And Max Martin is...?"
"We are never ever ever getting back together?" Alex starts singing a couple bars to show Jay some examples of Max Martin's works.
"Uh..." Jay doesn't show any recognition.
"ou make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream?" Alex sings another song. Your best friend is nothing but persistent.
"Uhm.." And yet, Jay is still clueless.
"Jay is not keeping up with pop music for the last decade, Lex," You joke to your best friend. "Try some songs from the Backstreet Boys,"
"Hey!" Jay protests. "I know your songs," He smirks at you in full smug. "Especially the ones that were written about me."
You laugh at his adorable and sexy smirk. Sitting up from Jay's lap, you kiss the smug out of him.
"Guys, I'm still here." The flat tone of Alex on the phone stops Jay from taking the kiss further.
You peck a corner of Jay's lips one more time. "Your own fault. Who told you to call during our date night anyway?"
"Since I'm not there to poke and pinch you, I hope Jay could help me convince you to take this project." Your best friend is shameless.
"Is Angelique not a good person or something?" Jay tries to understand the situation. He knows you are a hard worker. It is rare for you to run off from a big project like this. "She ought to be a good singer, right? With all of that achievements,"
You cross your arms and glare at your boyfriend, "It is a prerogative to hate your best friend's exes, no?"
Jay frowns, "Wait, Angelique is Alex's ex?"
"Oh, come on!" groans Alex. "It was years ago!"
"You know how the saying goes. Quote-unquote, "You are my friend. She is your ex. You get to forgive and move on. I get to hold a grudge until I die”
"That was kinda harsh," Jay comments.
"Your best friend still hates me until now, Jay." You roll your eyes at your boyfriend.
"Mouse doesn't hate you. I even haven't got a chance to tell him about you since he's been deployed," Jay raises his eyebrows.
"She meant your work partner," Alex answers Jay for you.
Jay frowns deeper, "Hailey doesn't hate you."
"Wanna bet on that?" You challenge him.
Alex prevents the couple from bickering further, "Guys, listen! Angelique and I broke up amicably. There were no hard feelings between us now,"
"Excuse you!" You exclaim. "I still remember those dark days. You cried over so many Tequila bottles. And those boxes of chocolate!! Why did we have to consume that much chocolate over a breakup?? My waistline did not come back to its original measurement for three months!!"
Jay lets out an amused snort.
"Oh, you don't get to talk, man!" Alex hits the couple back. "Your temporary breakup also forced me to replenish my Jenever stocks! I got bakeries phone numbers on speed dial for chocolate cake emergencies!"
Jay puts his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. You guys continue to discuss business," He stands up from the couch. "I'm gonna go warm up some pie," Jay gestures to the kitchen area. "Alex, it's nice to catch up with you. Hope the next time we talk, it would be more social and less about business,"
"And you, love, try to listen to what Alex offers first before you cut him off," Jay bends down to kiss your lips teasingly. "Please don't pull out any bottles with more than 40% alcohol content. I need you sober for our plans tonight." He winks at you before moving to the kitchen, leaving you to deal with your pushy best friend alone.
+x Taglist +x
@lorenakaspersen @life-treatments @itsdesiree86
Foot Note:
- Tom Cruise and Maggie Q blew up a Lamborghini Gallardo in Mission: Impossible III (2006). All of the MI movies are classics in my household.
- Max Martin is a Swedish record producer, songwriter. You might not know his name, but I'm sure you know his songs. In reference to this fic, he co-wrote and co-produced Taylor Swift's "We are never ever ever getting back together", co-wrote Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream", co-wrote and co-produced some of Backstreet Boys' biggest hits.
- "You are my friend. She is your ex. You get to forgive and move on. I get to hold a grudge until I die" line is taken from Henrietta Wilson on 9-1-1 TV Series S02E04 "Stuck". I thought it was hilarious. The line became the reason for this particular fic's existence.
I'm sorry for the long note. Thank you for reading this fic and the note. You are so welcome to reply, ask or tag me. We can talk about music, series or Jesse Lee Soffer's abs. :p
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Love Talk - Jungkook
Pairing: Jungkook x reader (nicknamed Candy)
Wordcount: 8.3k words
Genre: mild angst, smut, fluff, romance
Rating: 18+
Hello! I’m definitively back! It’s still complicated because of my presentation, but we’ll see!
I have extra updates, which I’ll share on a separate post, but now let’s focus on part 7/7 of Love Talk! It’s Jeonggukkie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, quick recap: Jeongguk and Candy have been dating/messing around for a couple months before he left for tour (he describes his situation with Candy on his Conversation with Yoongi and Joon), as soon as he comes back, he tries to meet up with his girlfriend to clear things up. They both have a lot of things to say.
Descriptions and Trigger warnings: THIS IS SMUT, MINORS DO NOT ENGAGE. There’s a bit of angst, mostly because of their previous relationships and miscommunication. Also fluff. This man is really romantic and he literally deserves the most loving girl in the universe. About smut and filth: there’s oral, both male and female receiving, boobjob (and it has nothing to do with plastic surgery), unprotected sex within a committed relationship (PLEASE STAY SAFE Y’ALL.), cockwarming; sweet, fluffy pillowtalk.
Wordcount: 8.3k words
Here is my masterlist! Also, check the link in my bio if you want to vote for the next prompt :)
Enjoy 💜😘
--------------------------------
Yoongi was laying comfortably in his seat, a light blanket protecting his body from the AC currently turning the airplane into a fridge. The only visible part of his body were his puffy cheeks, and his closed cat eyes.
Beside him, Jeongguk hesitated, pondering whether it would be a good idea to wake him up. Maybe he could ask Namjoon?
No. He knew he needed Yoongi.
"What is it, boy?" The sleepy figure rumbled.
"Oh, you're awake, hyung."
He clicked his tongue. "I was waiting for you to speak."
"I didn't mean to disturb you."
"I could kind of tell you had something on your mind. I was waiting for you to spit it out."
"It's Candy." Gguk replied.
"I see." Yoongi yawned and tried to open his eyes, rubbing them.
"I think I want to see her as soon as I'm back but I don't know how to handle all of what happened and actually talk about stuff without it degenerating." Jeongguk seemed to deflate as soon as all the words got out.
Yoongi nodded and balled up even more under the sheets. "If you want to see her, you should. And if you want her, you should tell her. You should tell her all you've been feeling and then ask her how she's been feeling too. How she feels about what you told her." Yoongi rolled onto his back, stretching his arms. "The seven of us have been together for many many years. We are telepathic by now, but it doesn't work like that with Candy. She cannot read your mind yet, so you should teach her how."
Jeongguk shook his head. "I suck as a teacher. Even I don't know what's going on there half of the time. And I don't know how I've been feeling."
Yoongi shook his head, tutting. "You've been missing her, right?"
Gguk nodded and hummed.
"And you want her, right? You want this to work?"
"Yes, if she wants it, too." The younger man confirmed.
"That's already something, isn't it?" Yoongi encouraged him.
Again Jeongguk nodded.
"I suggest that you reflect on it a little. We have a few more hours before we reach Seoul. You can write a note on your phone about how you felt when you were with her, when you took a pause, when you were without her. And you can write a list of improvements you want to do. Things that you want to change or that you can change to make her stay. Be realistic. Make them small things, just two or three. Show her that you care. That's all it takes to make a conversation work. Show the other party that you're doing your best to meet them in the middle. I'm sure she will appreciate the effort." An arm moved heavily under the blanket, timidly emerging and patting Jeongguk's hand. "And remember to ask her what she doesn't like. Be empathetic. Suggest improvements. That's what women appreciate: empathy."
Jeongguk blinked at that, quickly grabbing his phone to furiously type everything down. As soon as the clicking stopped he raised his head. "Thank you, hyung."
Yoongi closed his eyes and smiled. "That's okay, bunny." He turned around and fell asleep, ignoring the slower but fluent typing happening on the seat beside his.
——————-
"Hi, it's me." Jeongguk's voice said sweetly on the other side of the phone.
"Hello Gguk." You replied soberly. You still didn't know where this whole thing was headed.
"I'm in Seoul." He said, with a slightly insecure, though happy tone.
"I'm glad you're back." You said politely.
"I would like to see you, if you want to." He murmured tentatively.
This is it, you thought. This is the part where I lose him because I was so eager and harsh. Because I didn't respect his bounderies. "Where and when?"
He smiled. "Even now. I'm sort of… Outside your door? I was hoping you would say you were free." He confessed, embarrassed.
This is the shy, but eager and genuine boy you had fallen for. Waiting outside your door, being impatient and frolicking his way back to you anytime he felt unsafe, like a labrador puppy.
"My apartment is a mess right now." You apologised in advance.
"If I'm being honest, I was just trying to pick you up and take you back to my apartment." He explained, his voice betraying his flustered state.
You smiled but still you felt insecure, still fearing the definitive break up.
"Let me grab my things." You said, quickly gathering your bag and keys.
"I'll wait for you." He said, disconnecting the call.
You galloped down the stairs and reached him in record time as he waited for you in the parking lot, a baseball cap on and his mouth covered in a mask.
You neared him with an easy step.
"Hi." You chirped.
He turned to you and smiled with his eyes. "Hello. It's so good to see you." He greeted, hesitating before patting your shoulder. "Let's just get in the car, yeah?"
Again, you realised how stressful it was to have eyes on you all the time.
In the car he patted your knee and caressed your cheek. "I'm sorry, you know. About that." He said, his chin pointing out, referring to his previous behaviour. "Let's just go home so I can kiss you like you deserve." He said, now more confident. "I missed you a lot." He said and his words felt so pure, so sincere.
You put your hand on his. "Let's go home."
Again he smiled and started the car.
The drive wasn't long, his arm coming around your middle as soon as you were both out of the car in the underground parking lot of his block. "How has it been?" He asked, making light conversation as you went into the lift.
"The usual. I've been away for a week for an upgrading course in Busan. The rest was pretty much the same."
He beamed. "Did you like it there? Was it nice? How was the weather? Did you go to that restaurant —? “
He seemed ecstatic about the news until he stopped and frowned. "I wish I'd been there too. With you." He huffed out a breath, his head sinking between his shoulders.
You caressed his back and cheered him up. "We can go together next time." If there will be a next time.
"Yeah, sure." He looked happy again. He liked the idea of you mentioning a next time. It made him feel like he still stood a chance with you.
You entered the apartment still tied together by his arm. "God, your place is always so neat." You said, looking around.
But your looking around lasted only a couple seconds, his hand connecting with your cheek as he placed his lips on yours, delicate, pure and gentle.
Your heart fluttered. This was good. This was everything. He tugged at the heel of his shoe with the tip of his other foot, taking both sneakers off in the process, which you realised only because of him getting an inch shorter. He then parted from your lips, looking you in the eye. "You have no idea how much I missed you." He dove for the crook of your neck, propping his forehead on your collarbone.
He knelt to the floor and something in you caved in at the meaning of the gesture, his hands reaching for your shoelaces and undoing them, your hands going for his shoulders as he took off one of your shoes, then the other, placing them beside his.
Your heart sobbed. Too much. You loved him too much. And he wasn't ready for that. It was way easier to hide your feelings behind excuses and fussing.
He stood up, beaming at you and you closed your eyes, looked away.
He somehow felt it like a punch to the nose.
"Are you hungry? Did you eat?" He worried, walking away.
"Yeah, I ate." When are you leaving me?
Still you tried to pretend it wasn't going there.
"Would you please come here?" He asked, patting the pillows of his sofa.
Here it comes.
Still you moved closer, every step feeling like you were willingly heading for your execution block.
"Sit?" He asked his eyes glittering at you.
When he looked at you like this — and he did so a lot — you felt like you were his whole universe. It was the stare he only had for his hyungs. And for his mother, who you had met accidentally.
You simply sat down, tired of waiting for your impending doom.
"I have something to tell you." He said softly, taking his phone out of his pocket.
He held your hand, crisscrossing your fingers together.
You couldn't hold back anymore. "Gguk."
"Me first." He said, stopping you.
You shook your head, staring at your lap.
"How are you feeling? How have you been feeling since I left?"
Broken. Numb. "I won't lie. It's been hard. I missed you." You confesses.
"I'm sorry." Jeongguk whispered. "I'm sorry we fought before I left."
"It's okay." You replied, squeezing his hand.
"It was hard for me too. Of course I missed you. Sorry if I didn't show. And sorry if I hardly ever called you." He closed his eyes, gulping.
"I am not okay that you disappeared. We dated for like… Three months? Before you left for the tour. And for one month of those three you were touring here and in Japan." You remembered. "Why didn't you call?"
He bit his lip. "It hurt." He put down his phone.
"Why, Jeongguk?"
"Because I missed you. Because I was dumb when I let you go, before I left. When you smashed the door on your way out that night, so enraged that you didn't even put on your shoes in your rush out, I thought I would never see you again. It feels like a miracle to see you in my house again." He was speaking through a lump in his throat. "And it hurt even more because every time I heard your voice, I was reminded of how much of a dick I had been. And in all of that I ignored that I hadn't been fair to you because I was too busy wanting you."
You frowned.
"I missed you. Not only your soul. Your body too." He blushed. "I had a hard time accepting that."
You exhaled. "I was angry, but I realised I had overreacted."
Jeongguk looked up at you. "You had every right to be angry. And overreacting is not a thing. It was important to you but I didn't get that. I'm sorry." He apologised again. He was ready to say sorry one million times more if that meant that he could have you.
"And then I didn't call because it felt like you were busy. You were so stressed before you left and I figured you didn't want me distracting you and reminding you of all our problems."
He tried to put himself together. He felt he was going to cry. "We both didn't call." He paused. "I must say Yoongi helped me when he saw I was struggling. That was the first time I called. He helped me understand a lot of things." He changed the hand holding yours and wrapped his free arm around you, bringing you closer to him, tugging you into his side."You know I'm shy. And inexperienced. I only had one person before you and it was toxic." Once more he shrinked and hid into you.
"Do you feel like talking about it?" You asked gently.
"No. We talked about her plenty." He said, exhausted. "You know my limits. And I want to improve. But I need you to help me out with this." He sobbed. He was crying. "I don't know how to do this alone."
It was a mess. You started crying too.
"I know my mind is fucked up, and I don't speak much. When I do, I say dumb things and most time they don't make sense—"
"Don't berate yourself like this. You're a sensitive young man. Kind and smart and very private about your emotions. Of course I can't understand you like your friends do, but I want to." You tried rubbing his tears away with the palm of your hand, but he hid even more into you, sobbing into your T-shirt. "I think I'll learn to ask you how you feel. I can ask you more often, if you want to. And I'll keep nagging until you elaborate." You laughed at that, even though your cheeks felt wet. "How do you feel right now, Googie?"
He hugged you to himself, wrapping you tighter in his arms. His words came out smothered against your bosom. "I feel cared for. Thankful." Pause. "Loved."
You bit your lip at that. You had managed to show even though you had desperately tried not to. Your fear of him not loving you intensified. He said he had missed you, your body, and that he didn't want you to leave. That he wanted to improve this relationship. But did he love you?
"What would happen if I fell in love with you, Jeongguk?" You asked, terrified. It was worth a shot. If it went wrong, he would ask you to leave and both of you would nurse your broken hearts separately. But if it went right? It was a leap of faith.
He parted from your chest. "Are you in love with me?" He asked, wide bambi eyes shining in marvel.
All you did was nod.
He started sobbing again, crying rivers, suffocating himself against the crook of your neck.
You smiled, shaking your head in confusion. "Googie. How are you feeling, baby?"
"Happy. Very grateful." He hid into you. "I prayed so much for this." He stared at you. "I'm young. I don't know if what I feel is love. It's a messed up concept for me. But I want to hold on to you. Take care of you. I hope this is enough until you teach me what love is like."
You nodded, stars sparkling in your heart. You didn't expect him to say it back. It was good for now. All your fears had to do with him sending you away, leaving you. You didn't care if he didn't love you back as long as he kept you. It might speak poorly of you, but for now it was enough. You would show him, teach him. And maybe someday he'd understand what he feels for you.
"Can I kiss you?" He asked meekly.
You nodded with a smile.
This time, he kissed you slowly, deliberately, cupping your cheeks and stopping with his nose pressed to yours. "Why are you crying?"
You shook your head, giving him Eskimo kisses in the process. "I was afraid you were leaving me. And you were crying, so I cried too."
He smiled and joined your lips, gently asking for you to open your mouth.
It wasn't a tangle of tongues. Not straight away, at least. It was more of a series of kitten licks to the tip of your tongue, deepening with long sweeps to your palate. The experience turned out to be wildly erotic. Jeongguk might be a demure man, but he's a keen student and a quick learner. Ever since your first few make out sessions, he had learnt what he liked and he had learnt to deliver it flawlessly, making you completely forget whatever your preferences were. You didn't care as long as he put his dedication and passion into it. He managed to make everything feel good and you didn't even know why.
It must be the virgo energy, you wondered. Perfectionist.
"I still have things to say, Candy." He spelled on your lips.
You whined. "Later." And you captured his lower lip between yours.
Still he pulled away. "Candy. Please."
You pouted and sat back. "Okay, I'm listening."
"When I was on tour I often felt guilty. And it's not just that. I somehow felt it back then, before the fight." His fingers intertwined. "It was… Lust."
You remained neutral, listening.
"I felt guilty, for wanting you even though you were angry at me. And before, it was guilt too, when I wanted you all the time, without being sure that you were right for me. When I only wanted you for your body." He confessed, unsure. "I want you a lot and I'm not sure I love you but I care about you so much, like family, like friends."
You exhaled and laughed. "I know how lust feels. And it's okay to want someone without being sure about your feelings. We feel attraction. And it's right. It's good." You grabbed his hands and brought them to your lips. "I wanted you too. I was scared and then angry, then you were gone and I missed you. I missed your body too." You replied.
"Why were you scared?" He asked, titubant.
You didn't manage to make eye-contact. "I realised I have feelings for you. I was afraid that you weren't ready and that you would not see me anymore."
He stood very still, eyes barren. "I am sorry you felt like that." He tried to make you look at him. "I'm sorry I didn't make you feel safe enough to talk about that." As he saw another tear roll down your cheek, he hugged you to his chest lifting you and placing you on his lap. "I'll make it better. I promise I'll learn to talk to you." He said. "With small steps. I'll need encouragement and support, constant nagging. I don't know if we'll manage, but I want to try."
You let his wide chest engulf you.
"I'll make it up to you, Candy. Anything, baby." He kissed the top of your head. "I have feelings for you too, you know, right?"
You sobbed harder and he cooed. "Don't cry, honey, or I'll start crying too." He spoke gently, rocking you back and forth. "You're my precious Candy." He crooned at your ear. "They're not taking my candy from me." He sing-sang again, nuzzling his nose into your hair.
You calmed down at his gentle ways, safe in the port of his arms.
"What would you say if we went to bed?" He asked, waiting for your feedback.
"It's five pm." You replied.
"I'm jetlagged." He volleyed back.
You didn't have much strength to argue back. "Carry me?"
He snickered and picked you up bridal-style. "Your majesty, we respectfully announce to you that your royal carriage is about to depart. Destination: the bedroom. We recommend you keep a firm hold on the safety devices." He proclaimed, making you laugh, but also making sure that your fingers were firmly laced behind his neck.
With a few long strides he reached his room, taking smaller steps to the bed to make sure that he wouldn't hit the frame with his calves, like the first time you had sex here. He had twin bruises a few inches below his knees the following day. It was hilarious.
He got ready to get on the bed, but you stopped him.
"Can I rinse my face?" You asked. He raised his eyebrows and carried you to the bathroom, dropping you only for you to wash your face quickly. He did too, passing you some soap and then offering you his moisturiser. Once your faces felt brand new, he insisted on picking you up again, only to carry you for a few steps before climbing the bed. He knelt in the middle of the mattress, lowering you to your side of the bed. "That's your place. I hope you learn to stay there." He whispered, and you weren't quite sure this was your Gguk. This looked like his dark, demanding personality, whose appetite for you never seemed to quiver or die down, who only took on his terms, according to his tastes — and just like with making out, oh boy, did he deliver.
"Cuddles?" You asked, pouting.
He threw his body down, beside yours, tucking you under his chin. "Yup. Let's just nap a little."
You nodded. The weather outside was right, with the slight bite of cold due to the rain supposed to come in the evening and a gloomy greyness coming from the cloudy sky.
He slid out from beneath you, and sat up, taking off his t-shirt. "There you go." He said, offering you the garment at the same as you slipped your sweater off, exchanging it with the shirt. As he laid back down and took off his sweats, you unhooked your bra and threw it to the floor beside your sweater.
Shaking his head he snickered, rolling on top of you and smirking as he gathered your clothes and folded the sweater, his fingers getting caught on the frilly straps of your nice bra. "This is that one?" He asked, blushing slightly with a raised eyebrow as he folded that too. "Off with your jeans too."
"The one from our date, yeah."
"From our microwave date." He reminisced, catching the jeans you'd just taken off and folding them too.
"From our ramen date." You reminisced, rolling on your side to look at him as he moved the neat pile to his empty bedside.
He moved back, laying on his side facing you.
"Best ramen of my life." He whispered, his fingers wrapping around your hipbone and pushing you on your back, then shifting you around until he was spooning you, his hand climbing up underneath your shirt. His shirt.
Well.
"It's just cuddles, really." He said, cupping your breast lovingly.
"Gguk."
"Sweet dreams, Candy." He said, shushing you and settling in for sleep.
His big hand tucked between his mattress and the side of your boob, his chin resting atop your head.
Somehow you both found yourself falling asleep. You slept peacefully, Jeongguk progressively expanding over you. In his sleep he always grew clingy but you didn't bother, normally you would wake up sweaty and let him take you against the shower wall, getting dirty before cleaning yourself up.
You didn't know what time it was when you woke up, just that there was almost no light coming in, the sky opening up in downpour.
And someone was nipping at your belly.
With a groan you opened your eyes. "Gguk," you murmured, your arms stretching above your head, back arching as your body woke up.
"You awake?" He asked.
You nodded with a lazy smile. "Not like you woke me, uh?"
He giggled with mischief. "Me? Why? How?"
You shook your head. "What do you want?"
Jeongguk kissed a path from your belly to the waistband of your panties. "Can't you guess?" His eyes closed as he nuzzled his nose to your pubis. "I just woke up. I want a snack."
You hesitated. "You don't have to…"
He immediately lifted his head and looked away, his expression absolutely transparent with emotion. "You don't want me to?" He said, worrying his lower lip.
You blinked, at a loss. "It's… I don't know. Why?"
"I want you." He said bluntly, his face and neck blushing. "You always make it so good. I want to taste you." He brushed his lips against your thigh, hiding from your incredulous stare. He took your hesitation for reluctance. "But if you don't want to it's okay." He parted from your crotch, climbing upwards and laying his head on your chest.
He never pushed you into this. He was always so delicate in terms of what you wanted. And he had never asked for more than what you had already offered him. It's not like he's never offered to go down on you. He has, very subtly, but you had somehow slalomed your way through his hints. You knew he would be patient, he would listen to your feedback and stop if you asked him to, but you had been there before with other people and you had no intention of undermining his confidence with your insecurities and limits. You didn’t want to fake it with him because first, probably he would know and second, that would mean undermining his confidence too. Plus you wouldn't want to spark his competitive side, setting him off on an impossible quest. No orgasm from oral sex in your life. It was good like that. You could live through it.
"I just think we should talk about this." He said shyly, slightly confused — or maybe sad? You couldn't properly interpret his tone without seeing his expression. "You do it all the time for me. It feels unfair." He explained, feeling extremely sorry for what he perceived as one of his many shortcomings. "I just want to please you." He said, his voice begging.
"Googie." You called simply. "It's just that I don't need you to do that to please me."
"I've never done it before." He said, quietly.
You froze midtrack. You were both beginners at this. So maybe… Maybe you could both figure it out. "See, I've always sidestepped the topic because, well… I've tried this before and I’ve never liked it much. It was frustrating and they always kept going even though I asked them to stop. They always said 'oh, I'm gonna change your mind' and stuff. And in the end I always got tired and angry and I always faked it." You combed his hair with your fingers. "I don't want to disappoint you. Or make you waste your time."
He raised his head, propping his chin on your breastbone. "It’s not a waste of time. I want to do this because I want to kiss you there. Taste you. Show you I want to please you. It has nothing to do with making you cum. Sure it’s a nice optional, but that’s it.” He rambled bluntly. “Anyone who does it so that they are just proud of their skill are missing out on the intimacy of it. You should do it to show that you care, not to show that you’re good at it.” He said, getting quite upset over the selfishness of your exes. “I… I think we could give it a try. Just once. Whenever you're ready." He offered as calmly and kindly as his enthusiasm allowed.
Seeing him so excited had you doubtful but optimistic. "Just promise me that you won't get upset if I don't…"
He pouted, his expression melting at your vulnerability. “I won’t get upset. I will stop and make love to you, if you want to. Or I’ll just go grab a snack and we can watch something on the tv or play games, whatever...” He reassured you, holding your hand.
You curled your lips and looked up, away from him as you sweetened your voice. “Can we try?”
He cocked his head to the side. “I didn’t mean we have to try now, but if you’re ready then I’m ready.”
“I want to.” You said definitively.
He stretched to kiss your lips. “Just tell me when it feels good.”
You smiled and bent your legs at the knees, opening them for him. "I promise I will.”
“Perfect.” He started kissing down your torso, still covered by his shirt. You didn’t make to remove it, and he ignored it, his attention focused elsewhere. A chill ran down our spine as you felt the heat of his naked torso leave your upper half, your nipples hardening in the process. "We're only doing this so you feel good." He lifted the t-shirt with his pinkie finger, kissing and nibbling the tender skin of your belly. "If you change your mind, just tell me." He said, gently pressing his lips to your hipbones, first your left, then your right one. "It's an experiment.” He pouted against your belly button. "I’m only trying to show you how much I want to make you feel good. And maybe I'll have beginner’s luck." He shrugged smiling demurely to himself before placing his mouth on your mound.
He teased it delicately, just bringing his lips side to side over the fabric of your panties. His shoulders and arms moved below your bent legs, hooking around your thighs, his hands meeting yours on your navel. "I just want your taste. The rest is useless. I don't need you to cum." He said, as reassuring as possible while his ears blushed.
"You're sharing your feelings with me, Gguk. You're doing amazing, baby." You cheered him on, trying to encourage him. "Are you happy, love?" You tested the nickname on your tongue for the first time.
His reaction was impeccable. "I am ecstatic." He kissed your clit chastely through the fabric. "Also, starving."
You moaned in delight. His naked torso between your spread legs was a vision to behold, especially as you observed the muscles of his back fluttering. "And who am I to deny my boy a snack?"
He lowered his head, licking the gusset of your panties, now almost soaked through. "Oh, I'm your boy?" He asked you cutely.
"You are, Googie." You said, one hand leaving his to stroke his long bangs away from his face.
"Your boy." He teased. "Boy." He snarled. "As if I haven't fucked your brains a hundred times already."
You grinned and pushed your hips up against his face. "I can't wait for that."
With a bunny smile he dragged your hand down to the waistband of your panties. "Do you want to touch yourself?” He asked, this time without a blush.
The shift was always fascinating. One moment he couldn’t even say the word “cunt” and the second he was calling you his pretty fuckdoll, grabbing your waist and making you bounce on his cock as you rode him.
“Mmh…” You thought about it. “What if…” You took the lead over your joined hands, dragging both yours and his to the gusset, hooking your digit into the fabric and slipping it to the side, baring yourself.
“Smell so good…” He said, looking in your eyes as his tongue lolled out and slipped up along your slit.
A long moan escaped your mouth. “Gguk.”
He ended his swipe with a kiss, parting from you. “Yes, honey?”
“Take ‘em off.” You whispered. “Please.”
He grinned and left your hands, his fingers gripping the fabric on your hips, and tugging downwards.
You both fumbled a little until your panties reached your ankles and he aggressively took them off and away. He regained his position, this time with much more gentleness.
“Direct me.” He asked, his thumb grazing your clit.
You closed your eyes, biting your lip and focusing on the feeling between your legs, “More to… there.” You huffed, your legs parting even further.
His mouth stretched into a smile as he kissed the warm, moist skin of your labia. Humming, he opened his lips just barely, using the velvety inner side of them to encompass first your left side, his tongue teasing the skin as he sucked it gently.
You were getting wet, and it wasn’t because of his drool. You were liking it, a lot.
It wasn’t just someone placing their o-shaped mouth against your crotch and humming. He wasn’t drawing the alphabet on your clit or doing fancy business with his tongue in your hole. He was making out with your cunt. It felt amazing.
"I like what you're doing, Gguk." You reminded yourself to lead him.
He nodded and moved to the other side, doing just the same, his lips trapping your flesh and sucking on it gently, his tongue lashing at it. You pushed your hips against him, trying to gain some pressure on your clit, currently under his thumb.
Noticing that your wetness had started oozing from your core, mixing with his drool, he licked it like a dripping ice cream, the motion producing a loud slurping sound. The upward flick of his tongue had you squeaming. "That's very very—" You stopped mid-sentence to release a skittish moan. "More, Jeongguk, please." You begged, his hand leaving your clit to wrap around your wrists and bring your palms to the crown of his head.
Now happy with the new position he started licking you, using the hard flat of his tongue to push your clit up, exposing the tender nerves which rarely received such an intense stimulation.
And then you felt it. The tightening of your core, the sudden need to hold your breath and tense your legs.
"Gguk, baby, you're doing incredible." You didn't know the exact ingredient that made his technique work on you, probably the mix of pressure and motion, which to your memory you had never experienced before.
His tongue almost cramping, Jeongguk took a pause, sucking on the apex of your labia. You whined.
"Sorry, sweetie. I need a second." He muttered apologetically. "Any feedback for me?" He asked.
You shook your head, a whine escaping when he unhooked one of his arms from your hips and slid two fingers between your thighs, into your cunt, crooking them in that way that always had your legs shaking. You moaned and threw your head back.
"Feedback, darling?" He reminded you with a teasing smile.
"Keep doing that licking thing." You whined.
He smirked. "This?" He asked, sucking your labium and teasing it with the tip of the tongue.
"No Gguk!" You cried out.
He released your left fold. "Oh! You mean the other side?" He said, before mirroring the gesture there.
You shook your head, gripping his hair and pulling, trying to move his mouth upwards. His fingers inside you were bringing you closer and closer. "Make me cum, Gguk. I want your tongue on my clit, please."
He let go of your skin with a pop. "That's what you want, baby?" He asked, looking into your eyes. "Are you really that close?"
You nodded with fervour before pushing his lips to your bundle of nerves.
With the perfect flick and swipe he found the right spot once more, the motion so natural and easy to him that with a couple strokes he had you on the verge of your high.
"Gguk, baby… So good. I'm… I can't believe it, baby. There…" You babbled until you felt your hips snap, his tattooed forearm pinning you down while your body abandoned itself to the throes of ecstasy. You didn't realise your grip on him was becoming painful, and neither did he, being so focused on your reaction.
His fingers kept stretching your inner walls, making you forget that sense of emptiness that always had you dissatisfied with your orgasms while he was away.
When your body went limp and released all the tension, melting on the bed, he let go of you, gently removing his fingers to suck at your wetness with a moan. "You look so pretty." He murmured simply while you were still recovering.
Slowly, he climbed up your body, laying down at your side. "Are you okay, Candy?"
You nodded unconsciously, curling onto your side and hiding against him. "That was insane." You whispered, still panting, a phantom touch making you quiver.
He too huffed a heavy breath of exertion, smiling with his eyes closed. "I'm glad I broke the spell." He spoke quietly with a giggle.
"I wanna blow you." You said neutrally.
He wrapped his arms around you. "Before we do that, I must tell you that I thought about what you said. About me not looking at you."
You opened your eyes and tried to focus. "You know I said that but it's not a big deal? I totally overreacted and said that just to pick a fight—"
"The point is that you said that." He objected, dragging his fingertips up and down your spine. "So it must mean something." He kicked his lips nervously. "You know that most times I don't look at you only because I get shy. And then because I find it hot." He explained, hiding from your gaze. "I know that if I looked at you, I would make a fool of myself. I would just come apart straight away like a boy."
You tutted, confused. "And what's wrong with that?"
He shook his head and laughed. "You always say I'm your boy." He got really quiet, his voice soft and delicate. "I just wish I were your man."
You exhaled. "How much you last has nothing to do with that. Honestly, I do see you as a man. However I love your delicate, emotional, more innocent side, just as much as I love your demanding, strong and mature one." You kissed his chest. "I feel a lot of fondness for you, and it makes me want to protect you, and call you my boy, because this feels so sweet all the time and you're so romantic." You caressed his face and made him look at you. "But I don't want you to perceive that as a threat to your manhood. I don't see it like that." You brought his palm to your lips and then laid it on your breast, leading his hand into squeezing your flesh. "I know when you're my boy and when you're my man. Sometimes they mingle and it's nice, you get playful and domineering at the same time and it's amazing. Sometimes it's just delicate and emotional, other times it's raw and crude. I love it." You laughed as you thought about it. "I've never had all this variety in my whole life. This feels new." You let go of his hand as he started moving to his own taste and pattern.
He lifted his gaze from your chest to your face, blinking slowly. "So it's okay? We're okay?" He checked.
"We are." You replied warmly.
"So it worked… Down there?" He questioned, biting his lip. "I mean, I kinda get you liked it, just…"
You laughed again. "I liked it, yeah. Hell, I came so fast." You blushed, surprised. "And yeah. You definitely did the right moves." You combed his damp hair back. "Let me thank you properly.” You grinned, laying on top of him and straddling his waist, sitting back on your knees and taking off your shirt.
Jeongguk blushed and chuckled, his eyes going to your perky nipples while you were busy removing your garment. As you re-emerged, you noticed his gaze move upwards, acting as if he hadn’t been staring at your tits.
"Keep looking, come on." You spurred him on as he smirked at you. Slowly you backed from his lap to his knees, dragging your nails along the V-shaped indentation at his waist, capturing the waistband of his boxers in the process and pushing it all the way down his thighs and kneecaps; finally he removed the garment completely with small kicks of his legs. Right in front of you, you spotted his erection. He looked so magnificent with a slight upward curve that replaced the thickness and length that some of your exes had. And god, he was dripping already.
You bent over him, giving a slow lick from base to tip. You looked up, expecting to see his head tipped back, eyes closed, lips parted gently as he moaned for you. Instead he was propped up against the pillow, wide bambi eyes glued to you, staring.
"Choose. Either I stare and cum in a minute or I look away and we take our time." He said and you barely understood how he switched from your cute boyfriend to a sexy, dark dom.
"Eyes on me."
"Then make the show worthy, Honeybun." He smirked.
You went straight for it, gripping the base hard and wrapping your mouth around the spongy tip, sucking.
"Oh God. More, Candy. Your mouth is a miracle, ____."
You felt proud. He always lost his mind with the way you sucked him.
"Are you proud of yourself?" He asked, looking at the way his length disappeared in your mouth.
Releasing him, you licked his slit, capturing his taste and nodding.
“My dirty, dirty girl.” He muttered as you scratched his thighs, your head working a few inches of his length before sinking down. “Fuck, Candy. Yes.”
You sucked harder, his tip hitting the back of your throat.
“You look so good, honey.” He praised you, “You’re gonna ruin me, ____. Look at me.” He whined, placing his hands in your hair and pushing your head up, making you look at him.
You let him slip out of your mouth. “Does it feel good?” You asked, devilish.
He nodded, caressing your face.
“Then why aren’t you cumming yet?” You said, raising an eyebrow.
His mouth opened in shock before he gripped himself with one hand and brought his tip to the seam of your lips. “Open up.”
You let your tongue slip out, taking a kittenish lick before whispering, “Then keep your eyes on me.”
His eyes locked with yours. “Open up.” He repeated.
You smiled and took him in.
His moan was divine, his eyelids fluttering as he tried not to close his eyes. “Take it all. Candy.”
You moaned and his hips jumped slightly, making you focus on your throat, trying not to gag. Your drool dripped all over him as you released his cock, twin tears running down your cheeks after his intrusion.
“Was that too much, honey?” He cupped your jaw and dried the stain. “Did I move too fast?”
You denied, eyes still on him as you started pumping his shaft, repeatedly hollowing your cheeks with a pulsating pattern.
“Oh fuck! Keep doing that, Candy!” His voice was rumbly, his accent thicker with the gentle lisp of his dialect, his brow furrowed and his beautiful, expressive eyes were on you, taking in every single one of your moves. His pupils were dilated, darkness and desire swirling there with repressed intensity, his jaw locked tight as he tried not to snap his hips upward. “Candy I’m gonna—”
You swallowed him, your nose reaching an inch from the base, your gaze still focused on him.
This time he couldn’t control himself: he thrusted in, his hands gripping your hair but leaving you free to move, in case he went too deep. What truly amazed you was the way he moaned out your name, his chest deflating, his eyebrows lowering and his eyes narrowing, but staying as open as he could muster. He looked sex-addled and blissed-out.
He looked beautiful. He looked as beatific as he could ever possibly get. His bare chest was flushed, his nipples hard, his biceps bulging with the way he was tightening his fists. “Candy, honey?”
His voice was so sweet and tender compared to the way he had growled your name almost a minute ago.
You gently let him slip out, his cock laying half-hard on his stomach. "Yeah?"
"Come here." He whispered, inviting you up towards him.
You climbed his body.
He was breathing heavily. He looked at your stomach, trying to think how to say this properly. He exhaled. And then spoke. "I know you might want to venture in more kinky stuff." He explained. "And I want to do that too. It's just that I'm still pretty new to the basic stuff, so I think I'd like to get good at that before we explore the kinky stuff."
You raised your eyebrows, quite unsure where all of this was coming from. As you got ready to say 'okay' he started speaking again.
"However, there's a thing I'd like to try…" His sentence ended with an upward intonation, making it sound like a question.
"What is it, love?" You asked, worried and curious.
He blushed and hid his face behind his hands. "I don't think I'll ever get used to you calling me that." He goofed.
You pouted, absolutely endeared, laying down on top of him and placing your head on his chest, kissing his breastbone. "Tell me what you want, Googie." You gave him another kiss. "You know I won't deny you."
You felt his chest inflate before his breath fanned over your hair. "I want you to use your breasts… There."
You licked your lips. "Holy fuck, Gguk." You took a few seconds. Slowly, you started kissing down his chest, stopping every now and then to suck at his bronzed, taut skin.
He moaned as you bit gently at his abs. "Is this really happening?"
You nodded, giggling. "Yes, baby." You brushed the tip of your nose on the ridge of his upper abs.
He whined. "I want the other nickname."
You laid your chest on top of his lap, making your breasts rock from side to side. "Oh, you're getting picky, love."
His gentle moan stopped at his throat, changing in a raspy groan as you gripped the sides of your boobs and squished them together, engulfing the top of his hard-on.
"Like this?" You asked, starting to slide on him. Next time you intended to do this, you'd better have him slippery, but for this time you'd make it work.
"Yes, Candy." This time he did let his head tip back and his eyelids roll close. He was a vision to behold. You felt him get harder and harder, already pulsating. When you felt him starting to twitch you looked up.
He was staring and he looked ravenous. Keeping eye contact, you licked your lips and stretched your tongue out, teasing his tip.
"Fuck me, Candy. Fuck. Get on that dick, baby. Ride me." He ordered.
Smiling to yourself you straddled his hips and grabbed his cock, using your slickness to rub his head over your slit, pushing him in and sliding down slowly. He groaned at that while you hummed, focusing on taking him a bit at a time. "Please, Candy." He growled, biting his lip and looking at your face. "Touch yourself. Wanna feel you cum." He said as soon as you sat on top of him.
Bringing your middle and ring finger to your lips, you soaked them in your saliva, a string of it connecting your tongue to your digits as you extracted them and moved them south. You immediately found your clit and started drawing slow circles.
"Cum, Candy." He whispered.
"Give me a couple minutes." You reprimanded embarrassedly. "I need to–" You moaned as he gave the smallest push of his hips.
"Stay there. Keep touching yourself." He ordered, circling his hips gently. You started moving yourself, trying to slide up but he blocked your hips. "No. Want to feel all of it. Don't move."
He was filling you, his shaft moving with small motions. However the fullness turned out to be particularly effective, somehow making your inner nerve endings more sensitive to the movements of your fingers. "Gguk."
"Keep quiet unless you're cummin, honey."
You simply bit your lower lip and obeyed, focusing on your task. As your breathing grew erratic, you felt Jeongguk's lips meet your left nipple, sucking it until your hips snapped and your climax dawned over you. You screamed his name, loud and proud while he pounced on you, throwing you with your back to the mattress, hammering into you with a speed no man had ever fucked you to before.
"Say it, Candy." He growled.
You panicked. What could he possibly want? You went for the classic. "You're the fucking best." You murmured.
He snickered, hitting you with a punishing thrust. "Try again."
Your brain felt like a juggler losing control of his trick, too fucked out to actually find the right words. "You're my perfect man."
He tutted and gave you an harsh glance. "Don't make me ask you again."
"I don't know Jeongguk, please. I'm sorry." You cried out, your body going haywire with overstimulation. "Please, slow down, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't want to leave you." You babbled, reminding yourself of the hard time you had given both of you with your separation. "Please, it was a mistake. I was dumb. I love you, Gguk, please." You kept begging.
"Again." He groaned through his laboured breath.
"I made a mistake. Please, forgive me. I love you." You begged.
"That's it." He huffed out. "You love me." He repeated himself, his thrusts growing sloppy.
That’s it. "I love you." You repeated. "I love you," You kissed his bicep and stretched to his lips. "I love you."
He groaned your name and collapsed on top of you. "You love me." He whispered.
You simply nodded. "I do." You shivered as he gave the last few pushes.
"I do." He repeated.
Your heart did a somersault at that. You would unravel those two words later, since you knew he was probably just fucked out and incoherent, absolutely unconscious of what he was actually saying. You caressed his hair tenderly.
"I want to stay inside." He whispered, getting sleepy. "You feel so good." He got comfortable, rolling both of you on your side so he wouldn’t smash you with his weight. "I don’t ever want to give this up."
This was the moment when his tongue grew loose, when he would just let himself confess all those things that worried him, that buzzed through his mind but that he didn’t want to validate by speaking them out loud.
"I missed feeling this free with you." His eyes were closed, one arm wrapped around your waist, the other laying on your hip as his palm gripped your ass. "You have no idea how happy I am when I’m with you like this. I lost my mind thinking that last time would be our last time forever."
You tutted at him, touching his face.
"I kept thinking you were doing it with someone else. I was furious. And before I went to bed I always thought of you. How difficult it feels to fall asleep without you by my side."
"I’m not your ex, Googie. I don’t solve problems between us by going to someone else." You ran your palm down his spine, playfully patting his behind. "And I’m in love with you. That means I can’t think of anyone else. I don’t want anyone else. And no one else can give me what I have with you."
He kissed the top of your head. "I will take care of you." He promised. "I will keep going. Until there’s no doubt left. Until I can love you like you deserve." He yawned.
"We’ll be alright."
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