My predictions for Felix’s role in season 4
A few episodes into season 4 (possibly episode 9 as we know that’s the episode titled Gabriel Agreste), Felix will return to stay with the Agrestes while Amelie has to go on a ling business trip. As to why Amelie is having Felix stay with the Agrestes in Shadow Moth-ridden Paris instead of having him stay with relatives back in London, I have a couple of explanations:
1. Just because London doesn't to deal with Hawk Moth, that doesn't mean London doesn't have its own supernatural problems. Zagtoon has a series in the works called Miss Rose, which is about a magical spy and this series will do with crossover with Miraculous in the upcoming London special, so it stands to reason, that London has just as much supernatural drama as Paris, if not moreso. Therefore, Felix probably has to deal with supernatural threats regardless of where he is, but at least in Paris, the damage caused by akumas and sentimonsters can be reversed by Ladybug.
2. Felix’s paternal relatives have sort of lost interest in Felix following the death of his father for reasons that I’ll explain later in the post (though u can probably already guess if u read my post about a possible return of Chat Blanc).
After Amelie leaves for her business trip, Gabriel asks Felix to meet with him in private. Gabriel then confronts Felix about the ring he stole. Felix tries to deny it, but Gabriel calls him out of his bullshit. Felix then states that Gabriel doesn’t deserve the Graham de Vanily rings and ask him if he even know the story of said rings. Gabriel says no, so Felix then proceeds to tell the story that Amelie told him. Felix tells him that when worn together, they give the wearer special powers. Gabriel then realizes how similar this sounds to the miraculous, particularly the Bat Miraculous he read about in the Grimoire. So he then takes off the ring he’s wearing and asks Felix to put it on to see if the story is true. So Felix puts on the ring, takes out the ring he stole out of his pocket, and puts it on his other hand. When he does this, a bat kwami appears.
After silently kicking himself for not realizing sooner that he had a third miraculous literally on hand this whole time, Gabriel then takes Felix down to the basement. Felix is pretty weirded by this, and Gabriel then asks him if he remembers the deal he made with Hawk Moth. Felix responds “how could u possibly know that... oh crap you’re Hawk Moth aren’t u?” Gabriel confirms that he is and transforms into Hawk/Shadow Moth. Shadow Moth then asks Felix to use the bat miraculous to help him in his quest for the ladybug and cat miraculous. Felix (after getting over the initial shock that his uncle is Hawk/Shadow Moth) is hesitant because while Felix had offered to help Hawk Moth back in his intro episode, that was before the NY special (AKA the one where Hawk Moth threatened to start a nuclear war, not to mention having Mayura have a sentimonster wreck Paris then recall said sentimonster before Ladybug could fix the damage). Shadow Moth then proceeds to change back into Gabriel and show Felix Emilie’s coffin.
Gabriel the proceeds to explain to Felix (and the audience) that Emilie had been using the damaged Peacock miraculous (ok we already knew that, but we still don't know how, and I hope that episode 9 will be the episode we find out via flashbacks). After the explanation, Felix then agrees to help Gabriel, but asks him refrain from trying to start another nuclear war (and to also stop akumatizing August. Not only is it really fucked up to akumatize a baby, but it also proven ineffectual).
The next episode mark the debut not only Bat!Felix, but Swan!Lila (for those who haven't read some fo my earlier posts, I predicted a while back that the Swan Island location that was announced a sometime ago will be home to the Swan Miraculous, which Gabriel will get his hands on and give it to Lila). Throughout season 4 (and probably season 5) Lila and Felix will team up both in and out of costume to cause all sorts of trouble (with Felix only wearing the twin rings when he’s about to transform into Bat!Felix while he wears the ring he already had prior to his debut in his civilian life, this helps throw Ladybug off his trail). However, unlike Lila who has almost everyone fooled (save for Marinette, Adrien, and probably Alya now), a good chunk of Adrien’s classmates will be wary of Felix because of the prank he pulled back in his debut episode. Marinette will especially cautious of him because of the shit she saw him pull while she was Ladybug. That said, some classmates r willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume the “impersonating Adrien to make them think he didn't like them” thing was an grief-induced isolated incident that he feels remorseful about (and I can see Rose being among the classmates to give him that benefit of the doubt, as she’s very trusting). He will still get along with Adrien for the most part =, at least in public. Also at some point in this season, we will also be introduced to Adrien and Felix’s maternal grandfather, an actor and film producer who comes from old money.
Around episode 20 of season 4, Felix will then confide in his kwami about his backstory. At his dad’s funeral his paternal grandmother revealed that he was not the biological son of said dad and that this grandmother only tolerated Felix for her son’s sake but now sees no point in acknowledging Felix now that his dad was dead. After the funeral, Felix asked Amelie is what his grandmother said about his dad not being his biological father true. As it turns out, Felix is actually the son of Emilie and Gabriel and Adrien’s twin brother. When Emilie was pregnant, Gabriel’s career hadn't taken off yet and they were financially struggling enough so that they couldn’t take care of more than 1 child. Around the same time, Amelie and her husband were struggling with infertility. So when Emilie found out she was having twins, she decided to kill 2 birds with 1 stone by letting Amelie secretly adopt 1 of her twins (or at least this is Emilie told Amelie; based on the interactions between Gabriel and Felix in the latter’s debut episode, I’m assuming that Gabriel isn't aware of Felix being his bio son and that Emilie convinced him that his Amelie just happened to get pregnant at the same time she did). This lead to Felix to become envious of Adrien for being the one Emilie apparently chose to keep. He also started to resent Gabriel for failing to realize that he was his biological son (because it’s pretty obvious, even if Emilie and Amelie r twins, the idea of them having identical-looking sons around the same time is pretty improbable, especially since the color of Felix’s hair and eyes is more consistant with with Emilie and Adrien than Amelie, so Felix is certain that Gabriel knows on some level he's his bio son (but Felix doesn't want to tell him until after Emilie has been revived as he fears Gabriel finding out any sooner that Emilie hid hid this from him might lead to him giving up his plans to revive her). While bat kwami can sympathize with Felix’s angst about all this family drama (plus the bat Kwami hates Gabriel's guts for obvious reasons unrelated to the twin drama), the bat kwami points out to Felix that Adrien didn’t any more of the say in matter of which twin Emilie gave to Amelie than Felix and that given Gabriel’s controlling nature, Emilie may have done Felix a favor by giving him to Amelie and her husband instead allowing him to be raised by Gabriel. This causes Felix’s resentment towards Adrien to die down a bit... until he finds out Chat Noir’s true identity.
Somehow, Felix will begin o deduce/suspect that Adrien is Chat Noir. Since Felix knows Shadow Moth’s reasons for wanting the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous, he sees Adrien being Chat Noir as a huge betrayal and decides then and there to destroy Adrien one and for all. The bat kwami tries to talk some sense into Felix, only for Felix to renounce him and place the bat miraculous in his pocket and put his civilian ring back on (which I headcanon as having belonged to his deceased adoptive father). He then asks Gabriel to akuamtize him into a superior version of Chat Noir. Shadow Moth is confused by this, but complies, and the akuma goes into Felix’s civilian ring, transforming him into the new Chat Blanc (if this sounds familiar, that’s probably because I wrote another post predicting that Felix will become the new Chat Blanc. He proves powerful enough for Ladybug and Chat Noir to bring out several temp heroes, but the heroes eventually manage to defeat him. Also during the battle, Shadow Moth overhears Chat Blanc 2.0 refer to Chat Noir as Adrien and Shadow Moth explains to Chat Blanc 2.0 that he saw Chat Noir and Adrien at the same place at the same time back in Gorizilla, and after the battle Chat Noir (thinking that Felix had been unwillingly akumatized and thus wouldn't remember what Shadow Moth told him) assures Felix that he and Adrien r separate people. Felix then goes home and un-renounces the bat kwami. Meanwhile, in order to ensure Felix believes that Chat and Adrien r different people, Chat Noir later approaches Ladybug and tells her “Felix thinking that I might be his cousin reminds me. Someone in my family keeps asking me if I’m Chat Noir, and don’t seem to believe me when I say no. Can I please borrow the fox so I can throw them off their trail?” So Ladybug loans Chat the fox.
Later when Sabine is akumatized into Verity Queen and exposes Lila’s lies, she also finds out about how Lila framing Marinette back in “Ladybug” was partly motivated by Gabriel offering Lila a modeling contract in exchange for keeping Marinette away from Adrien. Confused as why Gabriel hates Marinette that much, she considers the possibility that maybe Lila fed him some lies about Marinette, but she decides to her lasso of truth on Grandpa Graham De Vanily (who happened to be in the tv studio with them as he and Lila were both scheduled for interviews) to get his opinion on Gabriel, this leads to a reveal that the the reason Emilie gave Felix to Amelie was not because she and Gabriel couldn't afford to raise more than 1 kid but because Grandpa Graham de Vanily forced Emilie to do so. You see when Amelie and her husband realized that they wouldn't be able to have biological children, they deciced to look into adoption. However, Grandpa Graham De Vanily loathed the idea of having a grandchild who wasn’t related to him by blood, so when the then-pregnant Emilie told her father she was having twins, grandpa Graham de Vanily (after asking Emilie is she already told Gabriel she was having twins yet, to which Emilie replied “not yet, he still thinks I’m just having 1 baby and I’ll tell him about the twins when he gets home) suggested that she give 1 of the twins to Amelie, then when Emilie said no on the grounds that she didn't want to choose between her kids, grandpa Graham de vanily threatened to use his connections to destroy Gabriel’s budding fashion career and make sure that he and Emilie couldn't get any kind of work needed to support their children. Bat!Felix (who made it to the studio in time to hear his grandfather’s confession, then asks Grandpa Graham de Vanily if Amelie was aware that Emilie had been coerced into giving her Felix, to which grandpa replies that he specifically told Emilie to not tell Amelie about the blackmail. And yes, this is when Gabriel finds out Felix is his biological son, and this would also be when Adrien (as Chat Noir) finds out Felix is his brother.
Amelie returns soon after this and she is pissed at her father for forcing Emilie to give up one of her babies.
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The Masked Singer Season 6 Episode 3: Time to meet Group B! (Commentary & Guesses)
Hello fellow humans! Welcome (or welcome back) to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I recap and talk about this show called The Masked Singer if you wanna stick around for that. So, this time around, we get to meet the other group, Group B, who we might not see again for 2 weeks, since we are going to see group A perform again this upcoming week with a new wildcard, Pepper. Anyways, let’s get started with the recap:
Group B was introduced and they consisted of Dalmatian 🐶, Queen of Hearts 🫀, Mallard 🦆, Cupcake 🧁, and Banana Split 🍌🍦. They performed, and one was eliminated unfortunately, let’s start with that…
So the contestant that was eliminated/revealed first in Group B was:
Dalmatian 🐶
Performance Commentary: ok, so I wasn’t super surprised by this elimination honestly, I expected it since he was the weakest vocally of this group. He sang Beautiful by Snoop Dogg ft Pharrell Williams and I gotta give him props for actually singing when most rappers just decide to only rap and not sing at all on this show. However, he did sound a bit like they put way too much of that auto tune stuff on his voice so it sounded like a robot him singing, which kinda made him the weakest link. However, his rapping was awesome (duh because that’s what he does professionally… and btw not spoiling who he is with that comment because when you hear the performance, you’ll know 100% it’s a rapper)
And he was revealed to be…
*DRUMROLL PLEASE*
Tyga
Omg I knew it!! Thank you Twitter for helping me out, y’all are the best. I thought at first it might have been Chance the Rapper but then people started saying Tyga and I was like hmmm lemme see the clues, yup makes sense, well great segue (segway) Ana because imma show you some of the clues you might have missed:
Scream Poster= he was in the Scream series
Cat Doll= play on words because his name is Tyga (like Tiger… man these producers are really into puns, it’s kinda clever tho)
Was discovered by a big player= in 2007, he started doing mixtapes and he was discovered by Travie McCoy who offered him a record deal
Now, that we have that out of the way, let’s get into our remaining contestants (big warning: this group has left me all types of confused when it comes to guesses so I apologize if my arguments aren’t perfect with some of these):
1. Cupcake 🧁
Performance: This performance is so confusing to me. Idk if this is a man or woman, sometimes I think woman with deep voice and other times I am like no that’s a man. So I don’t know about this one, it’s a very good performance of Heat Wave by Martha and the Vandellas but I need to hear more because I am confused. I am in between a specific man or a specific woman but I am not sure so unfortunately for this one I don’t have a guess
Sorry y’all no guess for this one :(… hopefully, next time they perform I will have a better idea*
*(I will say the guess I am leaning towards that a few people have said *just in case the cupcake leaves next* is Ruth Pointer from the Pointer Sisters because there were supposed to be multiple cupcakes and not just one, and in the PKG, cupcake said they were used to being in a group)
2. Banana Split 🍌🍦
Performance: They were 1000% my favorite performance of the night even though only Split/Ice Cream sang A Million Dreams from the Greatest Showman. She is amazing, I absolutely love her, she has that iconic Broadway sound that I absolutely adore. Just her singing this makes me so confident on who she is omg I’m stoked!
Having said that, I am so positive, like way too certain none of y’all will convince me otherwise like Todrick level confidence they are…
Katherine McPhee and David Foster
Ok, so you guys are probably like “Ana, how can you be so sure if the damn banana didn’t even sing a note, he just played the piano?!” Well, my friends, you have a point, but I know who she is and honestly I don’t even care if I am wrong ab him (I won’t know for sure until he sings a note) but HER I am absolutely positive….and they are a married couple and the banana has heart eyes so in my head it makes sense with the clues too, but before I go to the clues, I have a funny story on how I know who Ms. Katherine McPhee is… so like I was watching this performance and was like omg her voice Sound so familiar! Where have I heard her before?! This is driving me nuts… And then I saw people on YouTube saying that it’s them and I was like wait Katherine McPhee that name sounds so familiar. Then I looked her up and I found out that I knew who she was because I randomly watched a show on Netflix called Country Comfort (which side note: LeAnn Rimes or the Sun from Season 4 guest starred on that show and LeAnn’s husband stars in it… so connection there?), which to explain the show briefly it’s literally the Nanny but with country music and in Tennessee instead of NY. Anyways, she sang a lot on that show and it clicked, I was like BINGO OMG THAT IS HER IT CANNOT BE ANYONE ELSE (similar to how I felt about Todrick being the bull when I saw that damn sneak peak performance). Anyway ya, that was unnecessarily long, now onto the clues:
She left school to move to the city= she attended Boston Conservatory for 3 semesters and left to move to LA to try out for TV pilots
Thought she got her big break, but it wasn’t it= she got an MTV soap opera plot but it never made it to air
Collaborator who sticks with me through sweet and sour= they have known each other ever since she was on the 5th season of American Idol in 2006 and their collaboration is that he is a music producer and she sings (on American Idol, he would play the piano while she sang… does this sound familiar to you guys yet? Ringing any bells? If not, rewatch the performance Banana Split did)
3. Queen of Hearts 🫀
Performance: She sang Born This Way by Lady Gaga and I already knew she was going to be good, but this was like Black Swan all over again. This beginning song wasn’t the best for her voice, but she had fun and she did the damn thing. Closest Lady Gaga singing impression I’ve seen, but I am positive it ain’t Lady Gaga. Also, she slayed that ending.
Ok, so I am not too sure about this guess but after a bit of research and voice matching, I think it might be…
Jewel (the singer, not an actual jewel)
Again I say, with a bit of research, I feel like she’s the closest guess I can give you guys especially matching the singing voices, but let’s look at the clues:
Grew up in a house that lacked warmth= she grew up in Alaska (born in Utah)
Tin man from Wizard of Oz= she played Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz in Concert: Dreams Come True in 1995
Hilary Swank photo= Swank has a dog named Jewel (when I read this I laughed, wow Masked Singer really?! 😂😂)
4. Mallard 🦆
Performance: This performance was not my cup of tea tbh, it was real deep country which is not my jam at all. The song title says it all: Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) by Big & Rich. Like it was great no lie, but like I just don’t really enjoy that kinda music so it wasn’t for me.
Again, this one is a shot in the dark guess but I am gonna stick with it and it is the one I am leaning towards voice wise:
Willie Robinson (yes the guy from Duck Dynasty)
Ok, so again hear me out, this might sound stupid (and half of me thinks it is) but it kinda makes sense in a strange way especially looking at the clues:
Surrounded by dollar bills= Duck Dynasty merch raised a ton of bills
Photo of Chris Pratt= they worked together and became friends filming Jurassic World in 2014
Platinum Album= Has a certified platinum album “Duck the Halls: A Robertson Family Christmas” (I can’t believe this one, I was pretty surprised)
Anyways, that’s it! I can’t wait to see Group A next week.. again yeah but with Pepper this time so woohoo another Wildcard. I just hope we can see more of Group B too because it feels like too much of Group A is being seen. Anyways, see y’all next week with the recap for tomorrow’s episode! Bye guys! Remember to do all the social media things! Like, comment, follow me for more, all of that 👋🏼
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Robin Hood - 3x10 Bad Blood Meta
Here’s another crazy Robin Hood meta by Jamie about her thoughts pertaining to the confusing and retcon mess that is episode 3x10 of BBC Robin Hood.
Let me know your thoughts and I hope you enjoy my ramblings once again.
“I’ll free you, free you from the bad blood that shackles you to each other.” - Malcolm of Locksley to Robin & Guy
Where do I begin with this? No honestly, I’m not sure exactly where to start.
I guess I’ll start with the obvious fact that while most of the fandom dislikes Season 3 in general, this episode is only one of the things that fuels it more. You can tell that the writers were trying to come up with a Surprise Mcguffin™ to keep the show running despite a good majority of the cast wanting to leave the show (all except one honestly.) Hence the retcon mess that transpires. Don’t get me wrong, I actually love some things about this episode, but there are also somethings that make me (and the fandom) scratch our head and just downright facepalm.
Follow me through the ride that is this episode and make sure you don’t forget about that Mcguffin. There is a pop quiz on it later.
Welcome to the first episode where Guy has become an outlaw. What there is only 3 episodes of this before it’s the end? Yeah, I feel ya. We should have gotten more of this. Anywho, Robin runs into the newly outlaw Gisborne in the forest as the two do what they do best: argue and fight with each other. It leads to a strange hooded man in the forest who shoots them down with poison darts, ties them up, and tells them a bedtime story of their past once they awaken because he wants to end the bad blood between them.
Kay...sounds legit???
Flashback to 20 years earlier!
We are introduced to a couple kissing. Oh, don’t worry, it’s just Ghislaine of Gisborne and Malcolm of Locksley having a secret affair with each other. WAIT, WHAT?! Guy and Robin sit around the campfire as Gisborne tells him of the fact he spotted this happening. The stranger reminds Robin he was once on a different path. In fact, Guy and Robin both were.
This episode is pretty much about the affair between their parents and is mostly a flashback episode, so the only way I can explain it all is in the characters themselves.
Ghislaine of Gisborne - Guy & Isabella’s Mother
She’s a supposed widow who has two kids, is ridiculed by the villagers for not only trying to run a manor/village all on her own, but for also being French.
I LOVE THIS PRECIOUS MAMA! FIGHT ME! Her two children idolize her and love very much and so does her husband. Ghislaine was one of my favorites from this episode because despite her affair, it only ended up happening because she thought her husband was dead and since women (yes, even noblewomen) didn’t have many rights, the only way to secure her children’s future was to have a husband. Did Ghislaine love Malcolm? Yeah, probably, but there is also no denying the fact that even when her husband returns back from the crusade alive and is discovered as a leper, she still dearly loves him. She even sneaks to the leper colony to feed him and make sure he is well.
As for the way she dies....by pretty much getting knocked back by Malcolm and hitting her head on the floor, I can see it, but I still call BS.
Ghislaine was greatly loved by children so much that even once they discover the truth about her affair, they try to deny she would be capable of such a thing.
Malcolm of Locksley - Robin’s Father
THIS ASSHOLE! With all the problems I have with this episode, they all stem from this man right here. Who knows what happened to his wife? She’s never even mentioned, but it’s assumed she passed away. He’s a somewhat good father to Robin...at least he gives him helpful advice. He helps support Ghislaine while her husband is gone.
But once everything is out in the open about the Secret Mcguffin, this shitstick says that despite the fact her husband has returned, he will declare his feelings for her, marry her or else once it’s discovered her husband is a leper, she will lose everything. Ghislaine is obviously having trouble accepting this, so he says she will have their Secret Mcguffin in secret and have it taken away for a short while until they can recover it.
Once Roger is kicked from the village for being found as a leper, probably by the hands of Malcolm since he was with the priest and bailiff when it happened. However, after the event when Robin refuses to go inside a lepers house, Malcolm at least calls his kid out on his shit. He also tries to defend Ghislaine from the bailiff who has spotted out their Secret Mcguffin, but does a wrong move by trying to marry her soon or else she will lose her lands to sneaky bailiff that goes to take the deeds at his order.
But here’s the cake taker for me: despite fighting Roger for breaking the code to visit his wife, Malcolm of Locksley fakes his own death and makes his son think he is dead for years until he shows up to tell him this very story. Yep, the strange hooded man is none other than Malcolm of Locksley himself, much older and scared by the fire during his fight with Roger. Oh, and he only appears in this one episode to unite Guy and Robin to find the Mcguffin before disappearing again.
*sarcastic* A+ Parenting right here. Wow.
Roger of Gisborne - Guy & Isabella’s Father
This man is literally EVERYTHING Malcolm wants to be...no honestly, he’s literally trying to take his wife, and his lands, and probably his kids too.
Presumed to have died fighting in the crusades, he mysteriously returns back with a secret (and no, it’s not the Mcguffin.) He contracted leporsy. He confides in his wife who tries to keep it a secret despite the villagers talking about the possibility of it. This man loves his wife and his kids dearly and pleads with his wife to pronounce herself a widow so his family doesn’t follow in his fate; homeless in a leper camp in the forest. Roger even tells Malcolm to take good care of his wife and kids, but still doesn’t know of the affair between them.
When Guy comes to warn his father of the fact Malcolm is trying to get Ghislaine to marry him, rules be damned. This man goes back to the village and speaks with his wife. Malcolm walks in on them and that’s when shit hits the fan. The asshole fights him for no good reason and when his wife is knocked dead, Roger refuses to leave her side and stays in the fire to die by her side.
I mean, it doesn’t help their kids, but the kids have already lost their future at this point.
Meet Young Robin of Locksley
He’s small, a great archer, and comes off as an irritating brat that accidentally causes trouble and ends up almost getting you hanged for it (whoops, sorry Guy.) He doesn’t listen to others that well, but can you blame him? He’s only 11.
He is assumed to be childhood friends with Guy, or at least they live in the same village and their parents know each other (a little too well.) While the focus is on the parents in this episode, it was nice to see a Young Robin and Guy. Especially at the end when Robin finally listens to his father’s advice and takes up his bow, refusing to be afraid and fight for what’s right.
Sure, I mean his dad faked his death and left him all on his own, but this kid will go places.
Meet Young Guy of Gisborne
Me being the big Guy fangirl I am, of course I have a lot to say about him. And of course it’s one of the reasons I love this episode: because we get hindsight into his backstory and find out why he turns into the asshole he is later on in life. This is pretty much a episode that makes you sympathize with him if you haven’t already and lets us see why he has no family as he’s told us in Season 1 and 2.
Despite being 15-16, this boy comes off like an older brother figure when interacting with Robin. He easily shows his emotions unlike his older self and honestly just wants to protect his family. He doesn’t like that his mother is having an affair and feels she is being used by Malcolm. He also doesn’t like that his mother is visiting his father in the leper colony despite telling him not to do so himself.
While trying to defend his parents when Malcolm comes bursting through the front door like a wild man, Guy grabs a torch, trying to scare him away. Malcolm pushes him back which ends up causing said torch to fall from his hands and start the house fire. While the parents quarrel inside, the manor burns to the ground and the parents with it.
The other asshole (and supposedly main villain of this episode) Bailiff Longthorn exiles the Gisborne kids since the lands are his now and Guy is left to raise his little sister; homeless, penniless and without any help. He had to quickly become tough in life. Sorry, it just makes me sympathize with him more.
Meet Archer: The Mcguffin - Robin & Guy’s Half-Brother
I love and hate this character so much. He only appears as a baby in this episode, but he is the reason that Malcolm of Locksley finally shows his face after hiding for years. Apparently he had been searching for him the whole time, but neglected Robin, wow. Okay....sure.
It’s not Archer’s fault but yet it is. When you meet an older version of him in the next episode, there is no denying he has a wonderful personality and lots of potential, but yet the reason he was created bugs me, especially since we only get to “know” him in only 3 episodes which isn’t enough honestly.
Jamie’s Pros & Cons of this episode:
Pros:
Backstory exploration showing the history between Guy & Robin that explains their conflicts with each other (Despite both losing their parents, Guy also lost his home and titles which were given to Robin by the villagers.)
Introduction to the parents (Roger, Ghislaine and Malcolm.)
The Acting
Young Guy and Robin. Just look at how adorable they are.
A cause that unites Robin & Guy to work together for the only family they have left (Archer)
Cons:
The story can be confusing at times. I definitely didn’t understand it the first time I watched. In fact, I still question things.
The somewhat love triangle between Roger, Ghislaine and Malcolm. It feels more forced on Malcolm’s side then anything else because he is literally coming between a couple that is already married and clearly in love with each other.
Malcolm of Locksley. Mostly everything he does in this episode is stupid. Lets not talk about the fact he left his kid thinking he was dead for years only to show up once telling him the story of how he abandoned him....only to abandon him once again. Great, give this man Best Dad in the World mug.
The townspeople who don’t help the Gisborne kids and criticize them for being French and exiling them, but giving everything to Robin because he’s the kid of an English Noblemen. What assholes.
The fact that when you think about it: this episode is just a way to bring Guy & Robin together as well as keep the show going with Archer as the new Robin. Yep, that’s pretty much why our Mcguffin was created. I think they could have brought Guy and Robin together in a way that didn’t involve a secret Half-Brother between them....but that’s just me.
The puzzling questions of Retcon:
Is the land that the Gisborne’s run Locksley village or is it an unnamed village? Where is Marian? How did Robin grow up fine and well if Malcolm left him behind? How did Guy and Isabella survive for the little bit they had together before he sold her as bride when she turned 13? Why wasn’t this established sooner? Oh yeah, that’s right, it’s a retcon.
My thoughts in total:
Despite my issues with this episode, It’s actually one of the ones I enjoy in Season 3. I love that we got a glimpse into Guy and Robin’s backstories and firmly know that a character’s backstory is what shapes them into the people they are going to be later on down the road and this episode is proof of that.
It’s a good episode in itself, but it clearly has some flaws that just don’t make sense and leave you with questions. I think if anything, this should have been revealed earlier in the season or done differently.
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“A Rollercoaster of Horror”: Director Lee Cronin Talks ‘Evil Dead Rise’ and How It Brings New Blood to the Franchise.
To briefly recap, the next movie in the Evil Dead franchise is currently titled Evil Dead Rise, it’s being directed by Lee Cronin (The Hole in the Ground), it won’t feature Bruce Campbell as Ash Williams, and it’s not going to be set at a cabin in the woods. Rumored but unconfirmed at this time is that the movie will be set in some kind of high-rise/skyscraper.
Cronin, who just directed the now-streaming “50 States of Fright” episode 13 Steps to Hell for Quibi, sat down for a chat with Bloody Disgusting’s The Boo Crew Podcast this week, and while he’s not allowed to say too much about Evil Dead Rise at this time, hosts Lauren & Trevor Shand and Leone D’Antonio did manage to get some interesting insights into the project.
For starters, how did Lee Cronin get the keys to the Evil Dead castle?
“I’m a fan and a filmmaker, so I have two jobs to do, really, with making the film. The journey kinda started post-Sundace, early 2019,” Cronin explained to The Boo Crew. “A really important member of Sam’s creative team had seen The Hole in the Ground and said ‘Sam, you’ve gotta watch this.’ So, I had flown into the US for three weeks. My last meeting leaving town was with Sam. And a couple of his development people. He’s exactly how you want him to be as a person; he’s fun and he’s engaging. I remember sitting there and I hadn’t dared raise really much about Evil Dead at all, and then I did towards the end of it. I said, ‘Do you want to do anything else with Evil Dead?’ And he said ‘Absolutely.’ He goes, ‘Do you know any young, eager filmmakers that would be interested?’ And I said ‘Well, I’m flattered that you’re calling me young, Sam.’ And then it just became this very organic process.”
Cronin continued, “I can’t say too much about it, but what I couldn’t do was just go back and try and emulate what’s been done before. I needed to find my own way into the story, which took a little bit of time. And to choose a course and a direction that would deliver absolutely for the fans. In spades. Ya know, what people would want from an Evil Dead movie. But that also has my identity, and offers something of an expansion to the world that we’re used to and hopefully draws in a new audience. So that process of finding what that could be took a number of months.
“I really hope I don’t mess it up. But I’m confident I’m going to do something that’s both familiar and refreshing. I’m gonna deliver a rollercoaster of horror. That’s what the goal is here. Relentless. Not stopping to explain too much. It needs to be extremely visceral, highly entertaining, properly scary. To push boundaries, that’s important as well.”
While Cronin wouldn’t confirm or deny the city/skyscraper setting that has been rumored, he did tease that Evil Dead Rise will most definitely be taking us beyond the iconic cabin.
“It takes us to backdrops we haven’t necessarily experienced the Deadites in before, certainly in the film universe,” Cronin promised. “And it also brings a set of characters you don’t expect to see interacting with the Deadites. Which I think is gonna put people on edge quite quickly in the story.”
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What if I try asking it differently? I am just curious to why he becomes evil. Is that easier to answer?
So much easier to answer~!!!
There are 2 reasons Wei Wuxian becomes the Yiling Patriarch (his formal title that the fandom usually uses as shorthand for Dark!Wuxian)
Below a cut, I know a couple of you are watching the show...
Reason 1: Power
Others site traditional cultivation as the only true path (use swords, kill monsters), but Wuxian uses Dark Cultivation- instead of suppressing monsters and ghosts, he harnesses the dark energy that fuels them and uses it to fight them directly. This is seen as sacrilegious, but it is really just an excuse.
In reality, they want his power. Specifically, a device he created called the Stygian Tiger Seal, which makes him untouchable, almost a god among cultivators. He’s never used it for anything but good- to end a war they were all fighting, but no one trusts him to be the one to hold it (even though he created it and is the only one who can control it).
He is therefore branded “evil” because he won’t give this power over to someone who cannot control it and who already has indicated they will abuse it for their own ends.
But don’t mistake Wuxian for an innocent party- he is deeply impacted by the dark energy he’s harnessed and is losing the ability to control himself. He tries everything, but cannot ask for help from his best friend because in truth the reason he turned to Dark Cultivation is that the traiditonal form is now impossible for him- to save his little brother (and unknown to said little brother), Wuxian crippled himself. Essentially turning himself mortal. He has the rage of a dying man, drinks heavily, and cannot confide in anyone because he doesn’t want his brother to know the truth and feel guilty.
Wei Wuxian is swiftly losing the ability to control his own resentment, which means that when he taps into his power (which he does more and more frequently as he feels increasingly powerless in his own life), he is unable to control what happens. His power is based on instinct and emotion, and he increasingly isolates himself and alienates those around him (who are unable to empathize and understand that he is suffering).
Reason 2: Opposing Genocide
The war that Wei Wuxian ended was against the evil and cruel Wen Clan... but- it kind of wasn’t. It was against Wen Ruohan and his children, who subjugated the other clans and killed for sport.
After the war, the other clans decide to wage a genocide against all Wen, rounding up even children to slaughter.
Specifically, what sends Wei Wuxian over the edge is the Dafan-Wen, a small village he had previous ties to. Wen Qing, the most powerful healer among the Dafan-Wen, was forced to serve Wen Ruohan, though she did everything in her power to help Wei Wuxian. it is Wen Qing who cripples Wei Wuxian to save his brother, so he holds a life debt to her. She is also one of only two who knows what happened- the other being her little brother Wen Ning.
Wen Qing is a good woman, and she risks her life to find Wei Wuxian and beg him to save her brother, who has even taken beatings in the past to help Wuxian. When Wei Wuxian confronts the other cultivators about the fate of Wen Ning, they essentially say “no one cares”. He has to force them, very publicly, to tell him where they are.
The Dafan-Wen have been taken as slaves. Even the youngest among them, Wen Yuan- only about 3 years old- has been forced to work in a labor camp where they are beaten and killed to be used for experiments. The leader of the Jin is trying to make his own Stygian Tiger Seal, since Wei Wuxian won’t hand his over.
Among them, Wuxian finds the kind and simple Wen Ning’s body, dumped among a field of corpses.
Wuxian snaps.
He fills Wen Ning’s body with resentful energy, turning him into a Living Dead-
Except Wen Ning wasn’t dead yet. Turning him into a Living Dead binds Wen Ning to a dying body and turns him into an ultra-powerful zombie-like creature, except fully capable of independent thought (though he is virtually impossible to defeat, his undead personality is 50% confusion and 50% lost puppy, earning him the fandom nickname The Soft Bulldozer).
Wuxian flees with the Dafan-Wen into the Burial Mounds, knowing no one would dare enter the cursed land. Wuxian alone can subdue the evil spirits that rip apart cultivators who venture inside, and because it is literally filled with mountains made of corpses, there is more resentful energy for Wuxian to control than anywhere else in the world.
He is utterly untouchable.
Until he isn’t.
Another person has been learning Wuxian’s dark path in secret. Even when he dies, Wei Wuxian has no idea they exist. Yet the enemy manages to temporarily gain control of Wen Ning and forces him to murder Wei Wuxian’s brother-in-law, framing Wuxian himself for the murder.
The Dafan-Wen, who have been living under Wuxian’s protection for over a year at this point, feel guilty towards him. He has lost his home and his family because of them, and they know he will continue to sacrifice whatever he needs to in order to keep them safe.
So Wen Qing knocks Wuxian out, and she, Wen Ning, and the Dafan-Wen he fought so hard to save all leave the Burial Mounds and turn themselves in, hoping it gives him back his life. Wen Ning, Wen Qing, and now-5-year-old A-Yuan, all gone.
((Lookit him, he’s stinkin’ cute. Wuxian considers him a son as much as anything, as A-Yuan’s parents are long dead. He is technically a cousin of Wen Ning and Wen Qing’s))
Instead of simply accepting the Dafan-Wen’s sacrifice, Wei Wuxian goes insane.
He tries to race to save the Dafan-Wen, who he considers his family, and instead finds their corpses strung up across the gates of the Nightless City, while inside the Cultivators congratulate themselves and talk about how they will march into the Burial Mounds and kill him next (to steal that powerful object he has). They’re all clapping themselves on the back about their successful genocide, and pretending Wen Qing and the Dafan-Wen were so dark and evil when really they were the kindest people Wuxian ever met in his life.
Wuxian goes feral.
So why did he massacre 5,000 cultivators on the cliffs of Nightless?
For Wen Ning, Wen Qing, A-Yuan, and the Dafan Wen he gave up everything to protect, and the breathtaking hypocrisy of the “honorable” clans.
Since you asked this I figure you don’t care about spoilers, but Wangji shows up late to the battle and cannot save Wei Wuxian from himself. Wangji was late because he first tried to find Wuxian in the Burial Mounds and found something else instead---
An extremely ill A-Yuan, who was left behind for Wei Wuxian to raise as his own, but who Wuxian didn’t see as he ran to try and save the others. A-Yuan was sleeping behind a rock when Wuxian fled the cave, and the other man never knew the child was with him. By the time Wangji finds him several days have passed, and the child is near death.
After Wuxian dies on the cliffs of Nightless, Lan Wangji raises A-Yuan (who has no memory of his childhood after recovering from his illness) as if he were his own son, in tribute to Wei Wuxian and the life with him that Wangji always wished to lead.
It is A-Yuan, now fully grown, who first finds the resurrected Wei Wuxian 16 years later, even if Lan Sizhui (as he is now called) cannot understand why his heart tells him that as long as the strange man with the flute is around, he is perfectly safe from any harm.
and then Wangji forgets to tell Wuxian that is A-Yuan until the last episode..
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Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 2nd Season Ep7: “Let’s Start The Watermelon-Splitting Contest!”
Even though we’ve technically skipped a few chapters that’ll probably be adapted later, this episode covers the end of volume 10 of the manga, which is a pretty big milestone, and they certainly made this episode appropriately dramatic and intense, lol.
Also it just puts into perspective how far we still have to go, since that’s 10 volumes adapted out of a 23-volume series. In case you needed another reminder that even if it hasn’t been officially announced, we’re definitely getting a third season after this.
Anyway, thoughts under the cut.
Just to get the broad structural stuff out the way, this episode adapts chapters 58 and 59, which still leaves 56 and 57 to be adapted whenever they want to get around to it. But the next episode’s title is taken from chapter 60, so I don’t think we’re getting the Hatori/Mayu episode until at least the beach arc is entirely done. Which is for the best, since it’s getting more and more obvious that sliding it into any point in the middle of the beach arc would have really hurt the pacing.
And unlike how the last couple of episodes have taken different kinds of artistic liberties to condense, stretch, and rearrange the material, this episode is a pretty much 1:1 adaptation of the manga, with no real major changes I can think of, aside from it starting with a flashforward to a scene later in the episode, and them cutting out some vague references to the Hatori/Mayu part since that hasn’t happened yet in the anime.
I’m not even a huge fan of Yuki and his whole character arc, which is what this episode mainly revolves around, but I still think it was executed extremely well. Some of the art and animation has been a bit iffy in this season thus far, but they really went all in to make this episode super pretty and cinematic, especially the entire ending sequence between Yuki and Tohru, with them even breaking out a new insert song.
In general this episode is where things really start to come to a head with Yuki as he gets forced to confront his trauma and his repressed feelings, and it’s given all the emotional weight and drama that it deserves. This is far from the end of his arc, or his role in the story, and it’s not even the end of the hat storyline, but it’s a pretty climactic moment either way.
It’s not like they changed anything, but at least from the perspective of knowing how things go, I appreciate how much effort they put into conveying the fact that Yuki sees Tohru as a maternal figure, without it being super obvious just yet. Part of this is the fact that apparently the original Tokyopop manga translation had Yuki say at the end of the final scene that he straight up loves Tohru, which probably contributed to a lot of people not really understanding what the author was actually going for with him, and thankfully the anime subs worded it properly.
This is also the start of Akito officially stirring shit up in the beach arc, and the drama’s already in full swing with that, which inevitably raises the topic of how I just don’t really like most of the writing involving her, lmao. I don’t want to be a broken record or anything, but at least in this arc, I think it’s pretty fair to say that she’s effectively just a flat villain, no matter how realistic it is, or how much it gets explored later. It’s still just not very interesting to watch. Plus there’s the whole fact that this episode also further hammers in the recurring stuff with her being physically intimate and clingy with the older male zodiac members, and the more I see anime-only people’s reactions, the more confident I am in my position in saying that that sorta stuff just makes the “big twist” blindingly obvious, because it’s literally exactly what your first guess would be, if you have ANY familiarity with these sorts of tropes. It really is just as simple as it seems, lol.
Though on the other hand I think it’s a bit weird how many people I’ve seen who straight up don’t understand why nobody stands up to Akito. I mean, on one level there’s the whole supernatural curse thing going on, and there’s at least some degree of cultural values and so on at play, but mostly it’s just a pretty universal example of an abusive family dynamic in action, and I think it should be pretty understandable why people can’t stand up against the person that abuses them. It’s a bit less obvious in the case of the zodiac members who are literally older than Akito, but even then I don’t think it’s that hard to just assume that the abusive dynamic also extends to them, and that it’s also a consequence of how Akito is just the newest family head in a long line of the Soma family’s history. So even before she was born there always would have been the environment and culture of abuse and isolation, which Akito just inherited the leadership of.
But anyway, that aside, this episode ALSO gives us even more extremely soft and fluffy moments between Kyo and Tohru that further show off how much their relationship is developing, and how much they’re growing to understand each other. There’s not really a whole lot to say about that just yet because the Kyo-focused part of this arc hasn’t truly started with, but still, all of those moments were extremely good.
There’s also more stuff about showing Kureno’s unique role in the zodiac, and all of the various mysteries and questions it raises, but the story hasn’t gotten into that just yet.
That’s basically all there is to say about this episode, though on a side note I’ve basically given up all hope of them actually adding Ritsu into this arc, lmao. I think if they were gonna include him, he would have been shown already. At most they might at least mention him in the next episode when we see Kagura again, but that’s about it.
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The Song Remains the Same
Summary: The more things change, the more they stay the same - including Emma’s teenage crush on Killian Jones. Will she finally work up the nerve to act on it at their ten year high school reunion? ~5.6K. Rated T for language. Also on AO3.
~~~~~
A/N: Here it is: my contribution to @csseptembersunshine! It’s been a lot of fun to write. Funny story: the inspiration for this comes from me watching the music episode of CNN’s 2000s documentary, and getting really annoyed that they didn’t touch on that pop-punk phase we all went through around 2008. Somehow it turned into this. I don’t know. The song title is actually taken from a Led Zeppelin song, though I didn’t know that when I originally chose it. Still trying to figure out where else I’ve heard that phrase.
Super thanks to @snidgetsafan for her last minute beta-ing, and to @awkwardnessandbaseball for her encouragement as I slogged through it.
Tagging the usual suspects and a few extras: @snowbellewells, @kmomof4, @teamhook, @profdanglaisstuff, @thisonesatellite, @captainsjedi, @let-it-raines, @optomisticgirl, @welllpthisishappening, @scientificapricot, @winterbaby89, @thejollyroger-writer
Enjoy, and let me know what you think!
~~~~~
Gymnasium 2 of Storybrooke High - the larger of their sports facilities, as any alumnus knows - hasn’t changed a bit in ten years.
Emma remembers the way it looked at the one homecoming dance she’d attended - blue and gold streamers everywhere, with a balloon arch behind the DJ and another against a sloppily-curtained wall for formal photos. The gym today is much the same - all that’s been added are the buffet and a collection of tables where people can eat. The same people who couldn’t be trusted with food in the gym ten years ago maybe shouldn’t be trusted to have gained that maturity now, but Emma’s not one to argue against hors d'oeuvres. It’s odd, in a way, that she’d expect it to change. This is Storybrooke, after all; they thrive on that vague air of nostalgia, and most of the town hasn’t been updated since the 80s. Hell, the local diner will abandon their 50s soda shoppe aesthetic when hell itself freezes over, and maybe not even then. But in the ten years since Emma’s left town, she’s changed in such foundational ways that it’s jarring to discover that it’s not the case everywhere.
There can be a comfort to the sameness, too. Emma has a kid, now, and there’s an appeal to raising him in a place where the whole town is your neighbor and neighbors look out for each other. Plus, the closest thing she has to family lives here. As much as Emma had wanted to get out and see the world when she was 18, there’s a point where you just want to come home. Home for Emma has been Ruth and David and Mary Margaret, and home for them has been Storybrooke. Maybe it’s about time Emma makes it her home too - if not for her own sake, then for Henry’s.
The nostalgia oozing from every inch of the gymnasium isn’t the reassuring kind of sameness, unfortunately, probably because Emma never felt comfortable here in the first place. Years in the system left Emma struggling to fit in and really find her place at school, emotionally and socially, even after the Nolans had taken her in for good. It had been hard enough to open herself up to Ruby and Mary Margaret and her adoptive family; anything more than that was a stretch too far, and Emma never really bonded with her classmates. All those streamer-festooned walls don’t hold any sentimental value for her, even if this was the school she graduated from. All things considered, it seems pretty stupid to be showing up to this ten-year reunion at all.
Mary Margaret had decorated the walls, though, had sent out invitations and implored Emma to attend. Mary Margaret, who had been Emma’s first real friend, and is still her best friend in the world. And even after all these years - especially after all these years - Emma can’t say no to that earnest pleading.
So she’d left her three year old with Ruth for the night, wiggled into one of the more tasteful of her honeytrap dresses, and set out to her ten-year high school reunion. The last place she wants to be.
There’s already a good crowd here, mingling around as Lady Gaga blares in the background like no time has passed at all - which doesn’t help Emma’s nerves in the least. The people, not the music. The faces are still recognizable, even if ten years have passed and left their mark. Ashley and Sean are over by the buffet, apparently still together; if Emma remembers what she’s heard from Mary Margaret, they’ve got a couple of kids now. Kris and his wife are over talking to Victor, who hopefully hasn’t just come from the hospital. Aurora’s still got that unpleasant look on her face, though her boyfriend or husband or whatever else seems friendly enough. Hell, even Will Scarlet has somehow managed to clean up well in a dress shirt and tie, holding hands with a beautiful brunette with a ring as he points out something on the photo slideshow. Who’d have thought their resident troublemaker capable of such a domestic display.
With the exception of Ruby, who Emma knows will be running late out of long-ingrained habit, it seems like the gang’s all here. As Emma scans the room, there’s only one obvious character missing from the bunch; somewhere around here should be blue eyes and dark hair and a smile that —
“Fancy meeting you here, Swan.”
— looks exactly as she remembers. It starts out as a smirk when Emma first whips around to face the man who’d whispered in her ear, but it softens into something more genuine as she laughs - almost like that’s the exact sound he’d been waiting for. Just like always.
As it turns out, that’s another thing that hasn’t changed in ten years: her hopeless crush on Killian Jones.
He’d been handsome, even in high school, with all that dark hair and his confident swagger. He’d earned that confidence too, as captain of the speech team and a champion swimmer. Somehow, even if it had made him cocky, he had still been kind, and it was that kindness that had attracted Emma in the first place - the way he’d always been happy to smile and help her in math class, even though he didn’t have to. Emma wasn’t used to that; it was its own kind of intoxicating.
He’s just as handsome now, and if that smile she’s so loved is any indication, just as kind. He’d joined the Navy after graduation, Emma knows, and it had obviously done him good, filling him out in all the right ways. The trim fitted suit is new too; probably a good thing too, as the cut of those pants would have driven Emma to distraction back in high school. Otherwise, he’s almost just the same as always; if it wasn’t for the prosthetic peeking out of his sleeve where a left hand should be, the Killian in front of her now could be mistaken for a blast from the past.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Emma grins back at him.
“I might say the same thing,” he quips. “After all, I live here now. You’re the one who had to drive in.”
“You’re shitting me.”
“I absolutely am not,” Killian confirms with a laugh. “Just finished up my first year of teaching at good old Storybrooke High. American History. Go Knights.”
“Damn. Well, congrats, I bet you’re great.” Weirdly enough, Emma really can picture him as a history teacher. It was always his best subject, and she’d be willing to bet he’s one of the cool teachers all the kids love.
“I do my best,” he shrugs modestly. It’s a new look on the cocky, smooth-talking Killian Jones she used to know, and not a bad one. It makes him seem… adult. Like he’s got his ducks in a row now in a way neither of them were capable of when they were young. She almost misses his next question considering it. “I seem to remember David mentioning that you live in Boston these days?”
That snaps her back. “Yeah, Boston. I work in bail bonds there. Though lately…”
“You’re thinking about moving back?” he finishes. At Emma’s puzzled look, he continues. “Like I said, your brother mentioned it. He’s a bit of a gossip, I’ve rediscovered.”
Ah, of course. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”
“Well, if you end up deciding to come home… let me know. I’d be happy to see your face around these streets again.” He even smiles like he means it. It’s a nice surprise again; Killian Jones is just full of those today. She’d thought that there would only be a handful of people who’d be happy to see her - David and Ruth, Mary Margaret, Ruby and Granny - but maybe there’s some others, too. For whatever reason, Killian seems to be counting himself among them.
“Thanks,” she finally replies, somewhat awkwardly. What are you supposed to say to such an unexpected, purely kind thing, after all? It’s just the kind of thing the boy she remembered would have said - though she has to wonder if that’s a true memory, or something she inflated from her own childish crush and even more childish tendency to latch onto even the smallest kindness in the way only those starved for affection do. “I’ll make sure to do that. I’ll let you go mingle or whatever, but I’ll, uh… I’ll see you around?”
“Absolutely, Swan,” he winks. Or tries to, in the same way he’s apparently never learned how. “Save a dance for me?”
Dancing has never been her strong suit, but weirdly enough - or perhaps, not weirdly at all, considering who made the offer - Emma finds herself wanting that too, finds herself agreeing. “Sure,” she shrugs, making her best display of nonchalance even if her pulse has picked up at the very prospect. “I’ll catch you later.”
What harm could it do? After all, it’s just one dance.
———
It’s weird how time can change people, or at least change her perceptions of them, Emma notes. With some notable exceptions - Aurora Stephenson, now… whatever the hell her last name is, who will probably never grow out of her tendency to look down her nose at everyone and everything - most of the people she graduated with have turned into more adult versions of themselves, whether that means happier or more responsible or just more tired. It’s refreshing to see in a room otherwise so mired in the past, from the decor to the never-ending 2010-era playlist constantly piped overhead. Emma’s a little worried she’ll hear Fall Out Boy’s entire discography before the night is over - weird, considering she’d never have pegged Mary Margaret for a fan.
But Scarlet turns out to be funny now that he’s dropped the class clown screwup act, and Ashley is actually sweet now that she’s allowed to be more than just a mouse under her stepmother’s thumb. Her older child is about Henry’s age, a little girl named Alexandra, and it’s a comfort that Emma never knew she was denying herself just to have someone else to talk to about all the trials and tribulations of toddlerhood with. She’s never been one of those mothers, but she’s never had anyone she could be one with, either. Mary Margaret and David have only recently announced that they’re expecting a baby, and Emma’s been somewhat isolated in Boston for a long time. But if she ends up returning to Storybrooke… it’d be nice, already knowing Henry has a playmate. Maybe they can set something up for before they return to Boston.
Still, as much as Emma’s enjoying herself - against her will, really - there reaches a point where she needs to get away from it all. By some miracle she’s never sure she’ll deserve, Henry calls to say goodnight just when she’s becoming too overwhelmed. There’s been a pair of picnic tables just outside of the gym for as long as Emma’s been here to see them - much longer, she’d bet, if she knows anything about Storybrooke - and it’s another thing that hasn’t changed in all this time, the tables appearing to have been replaced sometime in the past decade and then positioned in the exact same place as before. It’s the perfect place to take the call and collect her thoughts again - close enough to still hear the music faintly (Panic! at the Disco now, because none of them have actually grown out of their teenage taste in music apparently) without it overwhelming her senses.
Nothing’s the matter, of course - just some three year old affection. It doesn’t stop Emma from seizing the opportunity to take a moment for herself. It’s been a long time since she’s spent this much time with this many adults in a situation where she’s expected to actually interact; after almost four years of cartoons and make-believe and bedtime stories, it’s a little taxing. In a good way, she thinks, or at least not a bad one.
“Ah, there you are,” a familiar voice calls. Killian again. He’s everywhere tonight - the man himself before her eyes as he settles onto the bench beside her, back braced against the wooden tabletop, and memories of their time in school embedded in every wall.
“Did Mary Margaret send you?” Emma asks. It would be perfectly in character - Emma’s sister-in-law trying to make sure that she’s socializing properly.
Killian shakes his head though. “No, I just needed a bit of air. Victor’s trying to break out some of his old dance moves, which is just as scarring as ever, so I figured that was my cue to step out for a moment. Noticed you were missing too, figured that maybe you had the same idea.”
“Not exactly,” Emma laughs. “I mean, I can’t blame you for avoiding that nightmare. But no, I, uh… I had to take a call.”
“Ah. Yeah, no, you definitely couldn’t manage that inside.”
Oddly enough, Emma feels the urge to open up to Killian, to tell him about Henry. It’s not something she does, typically; after so long searching for a family of her own, she still finds it hard sometimes to share Henry with others, even if it’s just bragging. She’d never keep him from making friends, of course - she’s not that kind of overprotective mother, and besides, his time at daycare has shown that the kid is unstoppably friendly - but in her own life, she keeps him to herself. Minimal talk with her coworkers. No mention at all to strangers, not even the vaguest reference.
But then again, Killian isn’t really a stranger, is he? Even after all this time, Emma’s instincts still say she can trust him. He’s never been anything but kind and generous.
“I’ve, uh… I ‘ve got a son,” she offers, with a weak smile. “Henry. He’ll be four in August. Pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me, you know? He’s just… the best. So, yeah, I came out here because he called to say goodnight.”
“He seems like a lovely boy,” Killian replies, something fond tinging his tone. The familiarity of it alarms Emma, and makes her eyes widen. To his credit, Killian seems to notice it right away, his brows furrowing into a frown. “Oh, now that sounded a bit creepy, didn’t it?” he asks. “It’s much less concerning than anything you’re thinking, Swan, I promise. Mrs. Nolan has an endearing habit of showing off any and all new photos of the lad she gets her hands on when she comes into Granny’s in the morning. A proud grandmother, that one, not that I can blame her if your boy is even half as bright and curious and sweet as she claims.”
That… makes sense. Even if it means Emma maybe needs to invest in muzzles for her entire family at the rate they’re blabbing her business around town. “Sorry if I looked like I was about to clock you,” she admits sheepishly. “It’s just… he’s everything. I worry.”
“I think that’s your prerogative as his mother,” Killian laughs good-naturedly. At least he’s not holding that little freak out against her.
Things fall into silence. Somehow, the quiet is more intimate than any conversation, almost cloyingly so. It keeps both of them from looking at each other, both turning towards the stars instead as P!nk blares distantly in the background. God, the last time Emma actually took a moment to look at the stars was probably in high school.
Killian, of course, is the one to break the quiet. He always was bolder than her. “Is the little lad with his father tonight, then?” He asks, almost too casually. Like he might care more about the answer than he wants to admit. Emma can’t imagine why.
“No,” she replies on a snort. “He wasn’t exactly interested in sticking around, for better or worse.”
“I’m sorry, love,” Killian murmurs. “It’s his loss.”
“It really is. Henry’s a great kid. It was hard at the time, though. I felt like I had found someone who really loved me and wanted me, but that obviously wasn’t the case. Should have known it was too good to be true.”
“You can’t possibly think this is your fault,” Killian prods, concern cooling his voice.
Emma shrugs. “I mean, I know that it was up to him. I didn’t force him out the door or anything. But at the same time… I know I’m difficult to love.” She tries to keep her voice nonchalant, but isn’t entirely convinced that it worked. That’s the problem with admitting one of your deepest fears.
“That’s not true,” Killian chides back gently
“Yeah, well, it sure seems like it a lot of the time. I don’t have much evidence to the contrary.”
The silence this time is almost anticipatory, somehow. Emma finds herself practically holding her breath as she waits for what’s next.
“You know, I had the biggest crush on you back in school,” Killian finally says, almost absentmindedly, still gazing up at the sky instead of at Emma.
“You did not.” It’s not one of her better responses, but it’s her gut response all the same. There’s no way - absolutely no way that Killian Jones, the Killian Jones of Storybrooke High, had a thing for her back when they were both still teenagers.
“Aye, I did,” he chuckles. She’d almost call it fond, if she didn’t know better. Fond is too big a stretch for someone you haven’t seen in ten years.
“I can’t imagine why.”
Killian stares at her blankly for a moment, like the words don’t process. “Oh, don’t say that.”
“Look, I was a mess in high school —”
“You were lovely, even then,” he interrupts. “Maybe that sounds a little cliche, but you were. To me, if no one else. There was so much drama and bullshit going on in high school, but somehow, in the middle of all that, you seemed like you couldn’t give less of a fuck about the whole thing. You were strong, and fierce, and… I guess I had a thing for that kind of attitude back then. Still do, really.”
Honestly, Emma doesn’t even know how to take that - any of that. Especially not that last bit. She’s just not equipped to process it. But at the same time… she owes it to herself to try. Both of them, really, and her past self to boot. He wasn’t the only one with a crush, after all. As much as it terrifies Emma to think that just maybe, after all this time, he might still think she’s lovely and fierce, it’s exhilarating at the same time. With that in mind, Emma takes a deep breath and forces herself to respond.
“Maybe you should have done something about that,” she replies with butterflies swarming in her stomach like she’s still a nervous high schooler.
For what it’s worth, Killian looks a little stunned. “I’m sorry?”
“I kind of had a thing for you too,” Emma confides. “You were kind of a dreamboat, you know.”
“Were?”
“Oh, don’t get cocky on me,” she laughs. “But yeah. If you had asked… I probably would have said yes. Almost definitely, actually.” It’s hard to say that she’d change things, if given the chance; after all, the path that took her here gave her Henry. But she still can’t help but wonder what might have been.
“I’m sorry I didn’t, then.” His voice is almost wistful, longing for something he’ll never grasp. “Out of curiosity, why didn’t you?”
“Oh, you know, the usual. Not brave enough.” Emma waves a hand casually, like it wasn’t a big deal, despite remembering all the emotional turmoil of that same subject back in high school. “Plus, it seemed like you had a thing going with Tink half the time - which, trust me, I know sounds ridiculous now that she’s shown up to this with a girlfriend. Still.”
“Aye, that’d do it,” Killian laughs. “We’ve always been just close friends, though. For what it’s worth.”
“I know.”
The anticipatory silence is back, and this time, Emma knows what it’s waiting for. In any cheesy movie, this would be the moment they kissed, two former somethings reunited under the stars. She’s not ready for that, though - not with the pain of her last relationship’s abrupt dissolution still hanging over her head, just reinforcing all her concerns about abandonment. She’s already used up her bold quota for the day.
Quickly, she breezes past it to a new subject. “So what are you doing back here, anyways? I thought you were off to the Navy, gonna see the world.”
She regrets it as soon as she asks as Killian’s whole body suddenly seizes with tension.
“I was,” he says carefully. “I did. I was going to. But for better or worse, the Navy doesn’t have much use for a man with one hand.”
“I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to ask, wasn’t it?”
Killian sighs. “No, it’s fine. I know you didn’t mean any harm by it, it’s still just a subject I’m a bit touchy about.”
“I’m sure,” Emma murmurs. It’s hard to toe the line between wanting to seem sympathetic and coming off as prying.
“Before you ask, it was a car accident. Not at all related to my service,” Killian explains, seemingly seeing the hesitance in her eyes. “Someone ran a red light, and that was that. So I took advantage of servicemember scholarships to go to school instead, and six years later, here I am. It’s hard to claim that it’s all worked out for the best, considering I’m missing a pretty crucial limb, but I’m happy with where I’m at.”
“I was just thinking earlier, I bet you’re a great teacher,” Emma contributes. “One of the fun ones, but who still knows what they’re talking about and holds the kids accountable.”
It turns out, Killian still scratches at his ear when he’s embarrassed, just the way he did in high school. The red flush is the same too. “I do try. And what about you? Bail bonds, you said?”
“Yeah. I mean, it’s not a dream job by any stretch, but they were hiring when my ex and I first moved to Boston, close enough for me to walk to work, and I’ve kind of just stayed. It’s something I’m good at, as it turns out - a little bit of research and a little undercover work and a lot of being willing to chase down people doing their best to get away from you. It’s a living. The money can be good, if sporadic,” she shrugs. “One of the biggest appeals of the deputy position here, though, besides coming home, is the steady paycheck. I don’t know. Moving is hard, but it’s very tempting.”
“Well, I’m sure you’d be a brilliant deputy,” Killian smiles. As Emma stares back, the anticipatory silence falls again, but this time, she’s almost ready for it. With a few more seconds, maybe she could make a move, and it wouldn’t truly hurt to shift an inch closer…
“Emma, there you are!” Mary Margaret’s voice calls, shattering the intimacy of the moment. “David’s about to do his speech, and you wouldn’t want to —” she cuts off abruptly when she sees Emma’s not alone. “Oh, hello, Killian! I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?”
“No, not at all,” Killian smiles. Meanwhile, Emma wants to scream Yes! back at her friend. Timing has never been her strong suit. “Go ahead and get David all set up, we’ll be right behind you.”
As Mary Margaret scurries off again, Killian hoists himself to his feet before offering Emma a hand of assistance - one she’s only too happy to accept. God, his hand is just the perfect balance between soft and callused, the hands of a man who might not work with his hands (so to speak) every day, but might have a hobby where he gets to. She’ll have to ask. “Well, Swan? Shall we go see what our erstwhile class president has to say?”
“Lead on.” It’s probably best that they were interrupted, anyways. This is just one night, after all.
———
Poor David - he’s never been much for public speaking. Emma will never understand why they needed a speech at this thing in the first place, let alone why Mary Margaret couldn’t have just made the remarks instead as the organizer of this whole thing.
Still, somehow they make it through, even if David’s practically swimming in sweat by the time he exits the stage. That suit jacket is definitely going to need a trip to the cleaner. Emma manages to park herself close to the dessert table while the whole spectacle unfolds, sampling all the little bars and cookies and cupcakes while everyone else is distracted. She’ll have to thank David for that later.
She’s just reaching for a cookies and cream cupcake - she can’t quite remember who opened a bakery, but God bless them for it - when Killian appears by her side again.
“Might I steal you for a dance, Swan?” he asks. “I have it on good authority that they’re about to play a slow song.”
Emma laughs. “You bribed Mary Margaret, didn’t you?”
“Oh, shamelessly. So what do you say, Swan?” He offers his hand.
Maybe she should think about it more. Maybe it’s committing to something she’ll regret later. But for now, Emma takes his hand without hesitation. “Yeah. Let’s dance.”
There’s a little section of floor left open as if just for them, allowing Killian to lead her around to face him. Emma can’t help but chuckle as they come together, twining arms around necks and waists like any respectable high schooler faced with a slow song. And what a song it is: three beat time, Paramore. The soundtrack of her most fanciful imaginings way back when. Perfect.
“What are you giggling about?” he teases. If she didn’t know any better, she’d almost say there’s affection in his voice.
“Nothing. It’s kind of stupid.” Still, Killian watches until she continues, until she caves. “It’s just… I used to dream about this, you know? My own personal fantasy - and not like that, don’t even start with the eyebrows,” she warns. “But… even if I tried not to show it and even if I believed that love wasn’t in the cards for me, there was still a little bit of me that wanted. I’d imagine a moment, just like this. It’d be like a movie. We’d be dancing at prom or winter formal or something, and the whole world would melt away. I’m pretty sure I choreographed the camera movements in my head. And then, at the end… there’d be a moment. We’d kiss. And it would be my first kiss, and it’d be perfect.” Emma laughs just hearing herself. It’s almost disgustingly romantic, really. “Pretty silly, honestly.”
“I don’t know, Swan. I think it sounds nice.” He takes a moment to carefully twirl her underneath his arm, followed by a few moments of silence once they’ve floated back together again. “We still could, you know. Make that fantasy happen.”
Emma snorts a laugh, even as a huge part of her heart yearns, practically pulling towards his. “I’ve got a kid, Jones. Trust me, the first kiss boat has long since sailed.”
Killian smiles down at her with those calm, kind eyes she fell in love with a decade ago. There’s no denying that she’s still held in their thrall all these years later. “Maybe so. But we could still have our first kiss.”
The words hang in the air between them, full of hope. Still, Emma knows he won’t make a move unless she’s right there with him. “I’m not that girl anymore,” she tells him - warns him, against everything her heart is screaming. “I’ve changed a lot since high school.”
“I know.”
“And even with that… you’re sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure. We’ve both changed, but all I know is that you’ve become even more lovely and enchanting in that time, and I’d be honored to kiss you to the greatest hits of 2009 and 2010.”
“I think Mary Margaret included some stuff from before then too,” Emma replies, stalling for time.
“Ah, well, that’s almost a dealbreaker, but I suppose I’d be willing to kiss you to the greatest hits pre-2009 as well,” Killian teases. “If you want me to, that is.”
And that’s the question, isn’t it? It’s a thin, fragile line between wanting something so badly and being afraid to just reach out and take it, especially when you’re given the chance to do just that.
“I’m afraid,” she finally admits. “I can’t tell you that I’m moving home. I don’t even know that. And what if I don’t? Is this just a fling from the old days? Some belated wish fulfillment? A one time thing?”
“I hope not,” Killian replies calmly. “ I hope this is more than just two people giving into an old crush and never seeing each other again. I know that I wanted you then, and I wanted you for a long time after we went our separate ways, and I wanted you again when I spotted you from across the room tonight. Do I hope that you’ll decide to move back to Storybrooke? Yes. But only if it makes you happy. And if you decide that you’ll be happier in Boston, that you and your boy belong there… well, I suppose I’ll have to start looking for date night spots in the city, because I want more than just this one kiss, and I’m willing to fight for it. But that all depends on whether you want that too.” As her silence persists, Emma searching for her courage and her words, Killian’s face drops into a twist of uncertainty. It’s not a look Emma’s used to seeing on his face, and she doesn’t particularly like it. At all. “Would you like that?” he asks softly, the uncertainty even coloring his tone.
“Yes.” Emma only whispers it, but stares into his eyes intently all the while. Hopefully that can convince him of her sincerity, even if her words can’t. When she tries to speak up, it only comes out in a jumble anyways. “I… yeah. Yeah, I would.”
His answering smile seems to spread from the very center of him, blooming across his face slowly like the most delicate flower. Maybe a water lily; that seems fitting, somehow. “In that case…” His hand travels from where it had rested on her waist to cup her cheek instead. “May I?”
Emma barely takes the time to nod before she’s pressing up that last half inch in her heels to capture his lips within her own.
The thing about imagining what a kiss might be like for so long is that you’ve run it so many times in your head at a certain point that the real thing is never going to live up to everything you imagined. What’s even better is that this kiss, this particular realization of all that longing? It doesn’t need to live up to anything, instead a perfect expression all its own. That little romantic voice still hiding deep inside Emma wants to call it a fairytale dream come true; the rest of her is more than happy to just savor the moment as it shifts from teasing, exploratory brushes of her lips against his to something deeper and more determined. Her arms wind fully around his neck and his more tightly around her waist, leaving them twined together as tongues begin to seek and probe and stroke. For a moment, it’s like they’re the only two people in the world - like some kind of teenaged dream, if she can ever be forgiven for such an awful, topical joke.
When they finally separate, it’s only by scant inches, bodies still pressed together and foreheads touching with only space left for their mouths to gasp for air.
“That was…” she starts, unsure frankly how to finish. There’s still not nearly enough oxygen reaching her brain to properly think, her body and all its functions far more interested in diving back in for more than any stupid thinking. Or talking. Or… anything, really.
Thankfully, Killian is there to pick up where her words fail. “Bloody earth-shattering.” Even if Emma can’t see his goofy grin with her eyes still closed, she can still hear it in his voice.
“Yeah. Yeah, it definitely was.” Somewhere in the middle of their dance floor makeout, the song has changed to something more upbeat - a dance tune that Emma doesn’t recognize, but knows Mary Margaret would insist was absolutely definitely played at every school dance when they were in high school. She doesn’t really want this to end - doesn’t want it at all, in fact - but it’s probably about time they stopped standing in the middle of the floor. With great reluctance, she unwinds her arms from his neck and steps back, but makes sure to meet Killian’s gaze with a smirk. “So. You mentioned a date? Where are you taking me?”
Killian laughs before moving to dig in an inner jacket pocket, ultimately producing a flask. “Well, for the moment, what do you say to a drink? I think I see some glasses of punch over there just waiting to be spiked.”
“It’s a date.”
And if she has anything to say about it, the first of many.
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The Morning After (Ethan Ramsey x MC)
Title: The Morning After
Words: 2,225
Book: Open Heart
Characters: Ethan Ramsey x MC
Summary: This short piece takes place the morning after the first night they spent together. I wanted to see a scene like this since that episode but since it didn’t happen (not even in the final chapter), I decided to write my own. If you decide to give it a try, THANK YOU!! Any constructive criticism and suggestions are more than welcome. I truly hope you enjoy it :)
NOTE: This Tuesday I’ll be going on a week-long trip to the desert to work on a project for my lab so I might not have WiFi to upload any stories or reply to you during this time. However, please don’t hesitate to comment or message me if you want to. I’ll make sure to reply as soon as possible.
Some of the characters portrayed in this story belong to Pixelberry Studios so the characters are borrowed from them. I don’t own “Open Heart” or any of the original characters.
_______________________________________________________
The sun entered through the big window. Maya stretched her body as the sun reached her. It’s warmth reviving the paths that Ethan had drawn on her body with his lips the night before. Finally opening her eyes she looked at the clock on the nightstand, 7:15 am. She sighed. It was too early but she was used to her daily schedule at the hospital. She rolled to her left side and saw him. There he was. Ethan. FREAKING. Ramsey. He was still deeply asleep. His face looked peaceful, which was weird considering he was always angry at somebody in the hospital. Maya couldnʼt stop wondering if he was dreaming about their encounter the previous night because she certainly couldnʼt stop thinking about it. She swore she could still feel his hands on her wrists holding her in place. The burning sensation of his hands grabbing her thighs and carrying her to his bedroom. The determination in his eyes as he took her by the window. His confidence as his mouth kissed every inch of her body. His dedication to making sure that both of them reached their climax several times. If she closed her eyes she could still hear his deep moans and commands in her ear. She could hear how their breaths became more exasperated and their heartbeats accelerated. She opened her eyes again. She couldnʼt help but smile at the man sleeping next to her. He belonged to her and she belonged to him. The two missing pieces of the puzzle were finally together and there was nothing that could separate them.
Ethan was laying over his stomach. The gray bed sheet covered his lower half so she was still able to admire his strong back muscles and the tiny nail marks that were starting to disappear from his back, a result of their first night together. His hair, slightly longer than usual, fell over part of his forehead. His brows, which were often in a constant state of irritation, were now relaxed. His lips were slightly parted and she could see a little smile. She placed her hand under her cheek against the pillow and allowed herself to daydream. Is this what waking up next to Ethan every morning would be like? Because she didnʼt mind this view at all. Maya allowed her mind to travel to a different place and time. Both of them waking up with their bodies tangled after spending the night in each other’s arms. Showering together and taking longer than usual because they canʼt resist being so close without touching each other. Both of them sharing a cup of coffee in the morning before heading to the hospital. Stealing kisses here and there during their shifts in the hospital because it feels like an eternity the time they are apart. She was so happy that she even allowed herself to dream bigger. She saw herself with a growing stomach and Ethan by her side satisfying every craving she had. How would a baby change their dynamic? She imagined Ethan waking up in the middle of the night to sing to their crying baby. A baby. A little person. Half Ethan and half Maya. She dreamed that their baby would have Ethan’s eyes, his smile, his brown hair, his dedication, his strength. She giggled. She had to admit that the more Ethan the baby had the better. In the past, Ethan had told her that he didnʼt think it was possible for him to have a family but that was before he accepted his feelings for her and before he resigned from the hospital. It was possible that he had changed his mind since then. She had always known that she wanted a huge family and the idea of having Ethanʼs babies made her stomach feel warm. They could make it work. Once she finished her residency they could get married, buy a house, have kids. Everything was possible as long as they had each other.
A sudden movement brought her mind back to reality. Ethan was stretching his arms and legs. His eyes still closed. She moved closer to him and began to kiss his body starting by his lower back and moving up to his neck. He moaned in pleasure enjoying the sensation of her lips on his naked skin.
“If I knew I could wake up like this every morning I would have confessed my feelings for you sooner.”
“That wouldʼve saved us so much trouble,” she admitted as she played with his earlobe.
He turned his head towards her. Her brown eyes staring deeply into his blue eyes. Ethan shifted so his body was on top of her pushing her back against the mattress. Her red lips inviting him. Without hesitation, he kissed her. It started slow but it escalated fast, both of their tongues fighting for dominance. One of his hands cupping her cheek and the other one pressed against the bed for support.
Their mouths increasing the velocity with each passing second. His hand sliding from her cheek, passing over her breast and even lower holding her hip. They broke the kiss for a moment resting their foreheads against each other. They looked into each otherʼs eyes.
“Good morning handsome.”
“Good morning my love.” He pressed his lips with hers once again and she moaned against his mouth. She returned the kiss again and again. Her tongue dancing with his tongue in a piece full of passion and love. Their hands all over each other’s bodies. They had only been together for one night and they already knew each other perfectly. They could feel their need growing bigger and bigger. Maya grabbed his ass and pulled him closer towards her body. His lips reaching her neck and biting her sensitive spot. He started moving downwards. His mouth leaving kisses all over her body until he reached her breasts. He stopped to admire her for a moment. Could a woman be any more perfect than Maya García? It was not possible. She was a goddess and he still couldnʼt believe that she chose him. He took her left breast in his mouth playing with his tongue while his hand massaged the other one.
“Ethan…”
Ring ring.
“Please, don’t answer,” Maya ordered as Ethan continued playing with her breasts. She curved her back in his direction at the feeling of the slightest touch or kiss.
Ring ring.
“I think itʼs actually yours,” Ethan said as he raised his head and looked at the phone that was resting on his nightstand. “Maybe you should answer them, your roommates must be worried for you since you didnʼt go home last night.” She sighed.
“They’ll survive,” Maya responded in a whisper barely able to finish the statement. A growing sensation with each of his movements. She grabbed his head and pulled him towards her to kiss him.
Ring ring.
She groaned against Ethan’s mouth. Maybe he was right after all. He moved to free her from his hands and she reached the nightstand looking for her phone. 15 missing calls and 38 texts from her roommates asking if she was okay. She couldnʼt blame them, the last thing they knew was that she went to talk to Ethan and never came back. They probably thought something bad had happened to her. Or worse case scenario, Ethan had killed her and was now trying to hide the body. Part of this theory was right. Ethan was, in fact, killing her... with his mouth… with his hands… with the way he looked at her. She would have a hard time explaining everything to them. But first, she needed to define her situation with Ethan. It sounded simple but she had to admit that she was afraid of what he would say. Would they finally be a couple or not? She shook her head to make those thoughts go away. She felt so happy and complete that she didnʼt want to even consider the idea that even after everything they had been through to get to where they were now Ethan would still refuse to be with her. She turned off her phone without answering to any of the texts, her roommates could wait a little longer. Now she had more important things in her mind.
She turned to Ethan. “I think we left something unfinished,” she said as she moved her hand down Ethanʼs waist and grabbed between his legs. She kissed his body as she drew an invisible path down his chest to his hips and his thighs.
“I… umm...” was everything Ethan was able to say. Her hand felt so hot against his body that his blood began boiling as she slowly began moving her hand feeling all of him. He reached for her face and pulled her towards him. They kissed. A kiss full of emotions. Acceptance, need, longing, but mainly love and that was something that nobody could deny. And just like that, they got lost in each other once again.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Ethan hugged Maya and pulled her closer to him. Both resting with their eyes closed. Her body was over the right side of his chest and her right leg was wrapped over his leg. He was drawing small spirals in her back. Both of them awake but too focused on memorizing every single detail of their encounter. They wanted to remember this for the rest of their lives as a precaution of what the future had in store for them.
“I should probably go, tomorrow is my ethics hearing and I want to prepare as much as possible.” Maya was the first one to break the silence.
This caused Ethan to open his eyes. He hugged her even tighter as he remembered the difficult moment she was going through. He kissed her forehead and rested his face against the top of her head, smelling her hair and allowing her scent to fill all of him.
“I would give everything I have, my own career if it was necessary just so you wouldn’t have to go through this.”
Maya raised her head slightly as she listened to his statement. Their eyes met. She placed her hand over his heart.
“I know,” she assured him. “But I could never ask you to do something like that for me.”
Ethan opened his mouth to protest but she was faster.
“I was aware of what I was doing and I’m willing to respond for my actions. I have to be responsible.”
“I just… I just wish I could do something more to help you. I say I care about you but I’m not able to do anything good for you,” he confessed, lowering his head and evading her eyes. She could see anger appearing on his face.
“Hey,” she said lifting his face towards her so she could give him a soft kiss on the lips. His anger began to disappear. “You already promised you’ll be there tomorrow. Do you know how much your support means to me? You think you’re not doing enough, but this is more than I could ask for. Knowing that you’re there and that no matter what the result of the hearing is you’ll always have my back is enough for me.”
They looked at each other with an intensity that attempted to make up for the time they had wasted since the conference in Miami. She got lost in her deep blue eyes and he could stop thinking how lucky he was to have this woman by his side. He had to accept that he not only cared about her, he also loved her and he would die if it meant she didn’t have to suffer ever again in her life.
“Wow. You really should start getting dressed because all these words you’re saying are making me want to keep you in my bed the entire day,” Ethan admitted.
Maya chucked. She stood up and began picking up her clothes, which were scattered all around Ethan’s room. Ethan sat in his bed with his back against the headboard and rested his hands behind his head admiring her. She couldn’t stop smiling and blushing at the heat in his eyes. When she finished getting dressed, she sat next to Ethan on the corner of the bed.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said while she placed her hand on his thigh.
“I’ll be there. Please, don’t let Declan or anybody else break your spirit,” Ethan asked while he places his hand over hers.
“I won’t”
“Will you text me when you get home so I know you’re safe?”
Maya nodded giving him a comforting smile. She leaned in closer to Ethan and both shared a deep kiss. Her hands moved to his hair and pulled it tightly. His tongue licked her bottom lip. Ethan held her tight hoping that by doing this he would also stop time so she could stay with him longer. It didn’t work. After several moments, both separated and she finally stood up to leave. Once she reached the door she turned around and blew a kiss in Ethan’s direction before disappearing through the door. His heart skipped a bit. How was he able to reject his feelings for her in the past? He was so enchanted by her that imagining a world without her seemed impossible to him.
TAGS: @paulfwesley
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Lost Dragon Ch.18
A/N- finally.
Episode- 7x07
Warning- none
Pairing- Podrick Payne.
-
I stand in the front of the ship with my Valeryian steel daggers that the sand snakes gave to me before I last saw them. The only thing I have left of them. I admire them and look at both of them. Daenerys had one handle changed into a dragon. While the other one had a snake heads and spear pierced into the sun. Now it reminds me of both my families.
“You know all great swords....or in your case daggers have names.” I recognize the thick northern accent approach me. Jon snow. From the corner of my eye I see him stand next to me. “Are they Valeryian steel?” He asks. I hand both of them to him so he could take a better look at them. “A dragon,Targaryen and a Spear pierced into a sun and a snake, Martell.” He says as he looks at the handles and hands them back.
“Well I haven’t named any of my weapons but now that you say it then....the dragon one Is Aegon and the other one is Rheanys. After my siblings.” My expression falters into a sad one but I quickly get over it. He stays quiet for a couple of minutes.
“Thank you....For saving me, you risked your life for me when you didn’t have to. You went back and saved me Thank you.” He says I turn to face him this time and I smile at him.
“It was nothing but you’re welcome.” He returns my smile.
“Why? Why did you turn back?” He asks his smile leaving his lips and a concerned look appearing on his face. I try to find words to say to him. The reasonings still not very known to me either. I shrug my shoulders bite the bottom of my lip as my eyes flicker to the ground and then at him.
“I couldn’t leave you out there die.... and because if we went to the north without the king in north then what would happen to us?” I ask a smug smile growing on my face. He chuckles in response and we both turn to look at the red keep. It’s once more quiet between us but it’s not an umcomfortable silence but more comforting.
“You’ve ever been here before?” I ask him finally breaking the silence.
“No never.” He says as shakes his head.
“When I first came here I was excited.... I thought this was a beautiful sight.... it made me happy to come here.... it made me happy to come to where my father once roamed the streets singing to the people and where my mother used to live with me and siblings..... but after everything happened it opened my eyes. I opened my eyes about this place and the horrors that happened here and now I get sad and angry.” I felt anger, sadness I felt like I wanted to cry and scream all at the same time. But I tightened my fist turning my knuckles white and a deep breath. I don’t know why I told him that but I did. And it felt good to say it. It felt to get that weight off my shoulders. He sighed and he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.
“I’m sorry.” He says sincerely I smile a smile that doesn’t reach me eyes but I do it and give him a quick thankful nod. “This place is where my father was killed and where my sisters were tortured so we both don’t really find any pleasure in being here but we need too.”
“I know.” I sigh. We stay quiet again watching as we both get closer and closer to the red keep. We both hear approaching footsteps and turn our heads to see who the person was standing next to us.
“How many people live here?” Jon asks Tyrion as he stands next to him.
“A million give or take.” Tyrion resounds.
“That’s more people then the entire north crammed into the that why would anyone want live that way?”
“There’s more work in the city and the brothels are far superior.”
-
“Why did they build it?” Missandei asks referring to the dragon pit. Where the meeting was going to take place.
“Dragons don’t understand the difference between what is there’s and what isn’t Land, livestock, children letting them roam free around the city was a problem.” Jorah answered.
“I imagine it was a sad joke at the end an entire arena for a few sickly creatures smaller than dogs.”
“But In the beginning when it belonged to Balerion the dread it must have been the most dangerous place in the world.” I inturrpted. These are the stories I loved to read when I was a child. I loved to read all about the dragons and their dragon riders. When I was younger I always wanted a dragon like the Visenya Targaryen I was named after. And I would always ask my uncle Doran or my uncle Oberyn for one for my name day but they would laugh and smile at me and tell me how their was no more living dragons. Or my uncle Oberyn would always say ‘you are the dragon’. I would always get disappointed when I never got the gift I wanted.
“Maybe it still is.” Ser Davos said as we all saw the Lannister soilders approach as we met up in the cross path.
The same man who I recognized from when I arrived at Kingslanding was the one that greeted us. He wasn’t in Lannister armor so I don’t know why he was the one greeting us. I also noticed a very tall women dressed in armor. I’ve never seen a women knight. And it was especially rare to see one in Kingslanding. I liked it though. Seeing her in armor. She looked tougher than all the man beside her. I small smile grew on my lips when I saw the same guy that was also there to greet me when I first got to Kingslanding. It was Podrick. He looked quite the same. Nothing had really changed about him. Only that he did look a little older then before. But he still looked the same. handsome.
He seemed to have notice me not seconds later after I saw him. We made eye contact and I saw that his cheeks had turned a light shade of pink and I could feel mine begin to warm up as well. A small smile was also on his face. I felt the same way I did when I first saw him and by the looks of it he did too.
“ Welcome, my lords and Lady your friend arrived before you did. I’ve been to escort you all to the meeting.” The man greeted snapping my attention back to what was going on. They stepped apart to give us room to walk. I looked at Qhono and nodded giving him a sign that it was okay for him and the rest of the Dothraki to walk ahead of us. We followed shortly after they were all ahead of us.
Podrick passed by us a lingering look between the both of us before he was gone behind the crowd heading to talk Tyrion who had stayed behind. I wanted so badly to also walk back and talk to him but I decided to let them have their time. It was beginning to be a quiet walk as we were heading to the meeting. That is until I felt three people walk by me. I looked to my side and it was Podrick and Tyrion and the other man.
“I think it’s time Introduce you two. Podrick this is Princess Visenya Targaryen. Princess this is Podrick a good friend of my mine.” I looked over at Podrick and he his cheeks were red and he seemed to be nervous just like the time I talked to him at the wedding.
“I’ve had the chance to talk to him once thank you Tyrion.”
“Princess.” Podrick said as he swallowed thickly obiviously nervous.
“Please just Visenya the title is not nessescary.” I tell him as we slow down are walk to be behind Tyrion and the man that I heard his name was Bronn. “You know Last time we talked I do believe we were supposed to take a walk together... this isn’t really at all how it would go but It works.” I tell him the smile never faltering. “How have you been Podrick?” I ask him. He stumbles with his words at first but then finds what he wanted to say.
“I’ve been good how have you been?” He asks bashfully.
“I’ve been doing good.... I do want to tell you that I was really looking forward for that walk before but I never found you.”
“I was too... I’m sorry princess that I never have the time to explain why I—-“
“It’s fine I understand why you didn’t and please just Visenya.” I tell him inturrupting him from his rambling. It makes me giggle the way he rambled on.
“I do have to ask you, I’ve heard that you went into a battle on dragon is that true?” He asks curiously. I knew excatly what he was talking about. It was not really that much of a battle at all.
“It’s true I did ride a dragon his name was Rheagal. What else have YOU heard about me?” I ask raising an eyebrow he clears his throat and he fumbled with his hands.
“I’ve heard that you are brave and strong and that you’re a very skilled fighter and I’ve also heard that... you’re beautiful and your beauty can’t compare to any other.” His new gain of confidence was admiring. I knew that, that was something he didn’t hear but instead thought himself. I felt cheeks turn hot and not it was me who was fumbling with my words. I just wanted to grab by his collar and pull him into a kiss but I know it wasn’t the right time to do that now.
“You know I’ve also heard a lot about you and how you fought in the battle of Blackwater and how you fought bravely.... and I’ve heard among other things.” I told with a smirk. Tyrion had spoken to me about him a lot but it never bothered me at all. The rest of our conversation continued naturally. It was like we had known eachother for a very a long time. I wanted to continue talking to him but we had arrived at the dragon pit and we couldn’t. Before I went to take my seat I stepped aside with him.
“We’ll see eachother again.” I tell him before giving him a kiss on the cheek. I turned to walk away and I could tell he was still looking at me. We shared one last lingering look before he left with Bronn.
-
We didn’t wait that long for Queen Cersei and her men to arrive. All dressed in black like if it was her house color. Her hair was short now compared to before where she had long beautiful gold hair. Her scowl was very present on her face she didn’t try to hide it all. She looked at her younger brother with hate and disgust. And we should looked at me she smirked. Before I thought much of it my eyes shifted to another. The mountain. I felt as if my breath had been caught in my throat. The memories of what he did to Oberyn rushed in. Anger rushed through me all I wanted to do was run and kill him but that wasn’t a wise idea. I took a deep breath and sat down even if everything in me was telling me to go and kill him.
Daenerys made her arrival known. Cersei had arrived late to show some sort of importance to herself but Daenerys beat her. Everyone looked amazed and suprised when she arrived on top of Drogon. She showed her power and her importance to them. Even if Cersei didn’t look amazed or suprised I could tell she was. It would be hard to be amazed at something so incredible.
Cersei’s ignorance to believing us was annoying . Then again why would she believe us. We are just people trying to take back the throne. And she’s never seen these dead men like we have all she’s known about them was all In books. That is why the reason we made this meeting. The scared look she had was amazing they all look terrified. Even the coaward that left Cersei side was afraid. He might have an island but that won’t save him.
“The crown accepts your truce, until the dead are defeated they are the true enemy.” Cersei finally said. A sigh of relief escaped through Jon’s lips as he stood there In the center. Everything relied on this plan to work. Viserion was killed for this plan. I would feel the relief but theirs always something more to this. “In return the king In the north will extend this truce, he will remain in the north where he belongs. He will not take up arms against the Lannister’s he will not choose sides.”
“Just the king in the north not me.” Daenerys Inturrpted.
“I would never ask it of you, you would never agree to it even if you did I would trust you even less then I do now, I ask only of Ned Starks son I know Ned Starks son will be true to his word.” Cersei finished. I looked over at Jon to see his reaction and to hear what he would say. He looked troubled like he was battling the decision in his head. But when he shared a look with Daenerys I knew he wasn’t making a decision he just couldn’t find a way to say it. He bent the knee.
“I am true to my word or I try to be, that is why I can’t give you what you ask I cannot serve two queens and I’ve already pledged myself to Queen Daenerys of house Targaryen.” I sighed at his words. Idiot. He was an idiot. And by the looks on everyone’s face they all thought it too. Cersei left and we didn’t have her armys back. That means Viserion died for nothing. Even if Tyrion did go back to Cersei it’s going to be hard to convince her.
“My armies will not stand down, I will not pull them back to the capital , I will march them north to fight alongside you to fight in the great war, the darkness is coming for us all we’ll face it together and when the Great War is over, perhaps you’ll remember I chose to help with no promises or assurences from any of you. I expect not. call our banners all of them.” Cersei said. I didn’t trust her. Even Tyrion did talk to her I cant trust her. After saw her leave I turned to Daenerys and Tyrion.
“Why should we trust her?” I ask the doubt feeling my mind. Tyrion lets his shoulders fall.
“We have too. We need too.” Tyrion said.
“And why should we? Because you’re her brother? Because last time I remember she hates you.”
“You Just have to. You have to trust me.”
“You better be right.” I huff. I could never trust her. And we shouldn’t either. It’s like she put it to Daenerys before about if she were to accept truce. She would never trust Daenerys if she did. Then why should we trust Cersei and her truce.
-
“If we have the Dothraki ride hard on the kingsroad they’ll arrive at winterfell between the fortnight.” Jon explained pointing at the map.
“And the unsullied?” Daenerys asked him.
“We can sail with them to white harbor meet the Dothraki here on the kingsroad then ride together to winterfell.” Jon continued explaining.
“Perhaps you should fly to winterfell your grace you have many enemies in the north, thousands fell fighting your father all it takes is one angry man with a crossbow he’ll see your silver hair on the kingsroad and know that one well placed bow will make him a hero. The man who killed the conquer.” Jorah explained having some truth behind his words. But we also had to think of how the people would react to her arriving in a dragon. The north dont like us already. Arriving sepreratly in a dragon makes things worse.
“Even if you are right. What will the northerners thinks of her arriving in a dragon? We don’t want them to fear her and hate her all at the same time. She needs to ride alongside her ally.” I tell them.
“It’s true if we’re going to be allies in this war it’s important the northerners see us as allies. If we sail alongside white harbor together I think it sends a better message.” Jon tells her. We all look at Daenerys to wait for her to say something in response.
“I’ve come not to conquer the north.” She pauses and looks at me with a small smile on her lips. “We’ve come to save the north.... we sail together.”
.
.
.
.
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Character Day | Original Fic Fest
Not every day you can pass by someone on the street and remember their faces on your head. Sometimes you would make eye contact with them for a second before both of you look away.
Not all smiles that you see around you are genuine and true. Some of them hide a dark secret in their hearts.
“Hey”
That’s what he told her one day and came up to her with his hands placed on top of his knees and tried to catch his breath.
She turned my body towards him, unknowing of the fate that was bound to happen. “Um, do I know you?”
He stood up properly and smiled.
“No, you don’t but I do,” He answered and she stared back at his blue eyes. She furrowed her brow and looked down at the ground but somehow her eyes always trail back to his own.
“You do?” She spoke out, confused but he only took my hand gingerly and looked down at my face.
“Yes, you don’t know who I am right now but one day you’ll remember my name and you’ll come looking for me and once we do meet again. I’ll hurry to tell you that I love you” He breathed out while she squinted her eyes not knowing what to say to him. She only stared upwards at him wanting to search for answers.
By the switch of the remote control. Everything rewinds in motion and a loud groan came from Kasie and Klein watching the television show.
“Ahh!” Edlyn squealed out loud while popcorn sprung up from the container. She smacked Kasie on the shoulder a couple of times and Kasie avoided the last slap the quick second before she can land another one.
“How many times do you have to repeat this scene? It’s been an hour!” Kasie whined. She smacked her forehead with her palm and Edlyn raised her finger to keep her quiet.
“Just let her be” Klein waved his hand dismissively and he picked up the scattered popcorn on the floor. Kasie shakes her hand watching Edlyn go through the same scene again.
“Look at his expression! Look at their expressions! It’s too much!” Edlyn exclaimed and she grabbed Kasie’s shoulder and shooked it in repeat. Kasie tried to remove Edlyn’s arm but it tightened around her if she attempted to do so.
“Yeah, yeah. We get it! Can we go to the next episode?” Kasie shooked her head to the side and Klein let out a small chuckle. He got himself coke and popcorn after cleaning it up.
“The next episode doesn’t come out until next week” Klein took a handful of popcorn from the container and Edlyn’s eyes fell upon the coke. She pouted and stretched out her arm.
“Gimme coke!” She pleaded him with her palm opened wide. Klein frowned and rolled his eyes to pass the coke to her.
“Don’t you dare finish it-” Klein got interrupted when Edlyn snatched the bottle away from his fingertips and took a sip from the straw staring straight at the television.
“I wish someone would look at me that way” Edlyn rested her chin on top of her hands and Kasie winced at the idea.
“I would think they are creepy if they do” She cringed at her seat. She stood up and went to get a coke from the small fridge they had at the corner of the room.
“Why creepy?! They obviously look at you with love if they do that!” Edlyn blurted out. She stared directly at the television as the scene unfolded before her again. Her eyes melted softly when she saw how the two love interests stared into each other's eyes and the scene came to fade into black as the name of the show appeared.
"Miracles will find you. Quite fitting for you, Edlyn" Klein read the title out loud and he chuckled. Edlyn frowned at him and folded her arms.
"What's that suppose to mean?" She raised a brow and she tossed the remote at the table.
Kasie didn't bother to listen to the story and anticipated the credits to roll on the screen until there was a huge written on it.
Miracles Will Find You: Searching Supporting Actress
Call for more information! 2731-M-I-R-A-C-L-E
"Guys! Guys!" Kasie patted on both of their shoulders and when they turned their attention to the television. Edlyn stood up from the couch and screamed.
"Golly!" Edlyn fanned herself with her hands. Klein's eyes widened when he saw the text before the credits rolled in the next frame. Kasie stood up from the couch and linked hands with Edlyn.
"Are you going to join?!" Kasie blurted out and Edlyn panicked searching around the room for something to drink and she took the coke from the table and took another sip.
"Are you crazy!? I could ne-never!" Edlyn stammered. Klein stood up from the couch waving his arms around.
"Exactly! You're going to be live on tv if you do!" Klein protested and Kasie pushed him off and he landed on the couch.
"Do it! Do it now!" Kasie exclaimed. She went to get the phone but Edlyn pulled her back by the wrist.
"Kasie! No!"
"Why not?"
"I'm not an actress! I-I don't think I'm going to do this"
Kasie frowned at her. She slapped both of Edlyn's cheeks lightly and brought her closer.
"But you love dramas, don't you?" She implored and Edlyn placed both of her hands on top of Kasie and removed it off of her face and sat back down on the couch.
"I don't love dramas of what they are. I love dramas because of the romance happening there!" Edlyn corrected her. "I love the sweet moments, the hugs and kisses and those happy endings. Those endings I could never have"
Kasie was about to speak and Klein raised both of his hands to pull her back.
"What do you mean endings you can never have? Of course, you can have them!" Klein pointed out and Edlyn stood up from the couch. She took the remote control and switched off the television.
"Love doesn't come from the easiest corners" Edlyn shook her head and Kasie nudged her elbow and Klein flicked her forehead lightly and she winced.
"Since when did it come from easy corners, you child?" Klein mocked her playfully and Edlyn rubbed her forehead to ease the pain.
"Didn't the drama say that miracles will find you?" Kasie hinted at her and Edlyn rubbed her hands together. She played with her hair tangling them on her finger.
"That only happens on tv" Edlyn murmured and she shakes her head. She smoothed down her dress. "It's fine! Thank you guys but I will head back to my room"
Edlyn walked out of the room quietly leaving Kasie and Klein in empty silence.
Kasie glanced at Klein and smacked him on the arm. He groaned loudly and he rubbed his arm.
"We better cheer her up"
"But it's her fault for watching dramas that will make her feel more lonely"
"You don't understand how a woman feels"
"Woah, as if you understand"
Kasie kicked him by his legs and Klein collapsed to the floor. She clicked her tongue and knelt beside him. She poked at his nose.
"You and I are going to make a plan" Kasie declared and Klein raised his head to her.
"What plan is that?" He asked while her lips perk into a wide grin.
"We are going to reenact miracles will find you," Kasie said proudly and placed her hands on her hips with confidence.
"I'm going to be the actor then-"
"Ha? Who said you're an actor?" Kasie patted him on the back. She helped Klein get off the floor and pushed him on the couch.
"I can't write for my life so you're the scriptwriter." She poked him at his chest. He squinted at her and moved her hand away from him.
"Who told you I can write? No way!" Klein exclaimed and Kasie smiled bluntly at him.
"You want me to write? Sure, I'll write the best lines you have ever seen"
Kasie got up from the couch and he quickly grabbed her wrist to stop her from leaving. He sighed to himself.
"What am i going to write?"
Note: This is Edlyn, Kasie and Klein’s character showcase of who they are if the world of Ordinacy wasn’t out to get them all the time! This seems like a Day 2 entry but I mostly have the idea of the three characters showing off a first impression of who they are.
@originalficfest
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Thoughts about Prompto’s arc in “Brotherhood”
The real title, for now, is something like “Prompto being formerly fat was not even remotely necessary and was offensively handled” or “Haley rants about Brotherhood because it’s so fatphobic”
TW: eating disorders, fatphobia.
It’s also incredibly long, but I really want to share my thoughts.
Update: 10-4-2018: inspired by comments and tags, I added more examples of dialogue that exemplifies the problem
Update: 22-4-2018: accounting for the new “official profiles”...it got worse, everyone.
Oh Prompto. Prompto Argentum. My beloved, sweet, beautiful bi boy who could have had a much more satisfying arc. They really tried, didn’t they? They tried to give you a touching backstory and instead exposed their fatphobia. And as for the bi part, well, that’s another essay in and of itself....stay tuned everyone.
Yes, this is one of those posts. That’s why I put all of this under a “Keep reading.” It’s just something that has been subtly bothering me for a long time and I thought I’d give this short essay format a try. There will be a TL;DR at the end, I suppose, but please read through this if you are interested in this aspect that I feel is both underexplored and overexploited about my most favorite character in anything ever.
A bit about myself before we begin: I am rather chubby. I’m 5’4” (162cm) and 220 lbs (100 kg), and I have struggled off and on with eating disorders since I was in high school. I do realize this makes me “obese,” but this essay isn’t about that. Rather, it is about how fatness and obesity is often portrayed in media as a character flaw, or something to overcome, and my own feelings about why this is harmful. To be clear, I want to make two major points with this: 1) Prompto being “formerly fat” is not something that was even remotely necessary for his character arc and its inclusion and resolution are nothing short of fatphobic and; 2) the fact that Prompto receives his character development via losing weight in Brotherhood is emblematic of every problem I have with how media chooses to include fat people.
These points are incredibly intertwined, so let’s start by exploring what was intended by the episode. I want to be clear and demonstrate that I fully understand what the episode intended to show, and I will continue to acknowledge what the likely intent was. This essay/rant is critiquing the execution.
If the point of Brotherhood was to suggest that Prompto had a lonely childhood until he met Noctis, that’s great! I understand that that’s what Brotherhood was showing. HOWEVER. I have been sickened, from the moment I saw his episode, with how his journey to lose weight was correlated with his journey to “be good enough” to be Noct’s friend. Let me be clear. I understand that we are supposed to interpret this as a character flaw on Prompto’s part, and we see in the gayest scene the rooftop motel scene that losing weight did not resolve Prompto’s self-confidence. I know that. What I am saying is that him losing weight was in no was necessary to include, at least not in the way that they did. There are some ugly implicit implications here, not least of which is that eating nothing but salads is, I would argue, just as unhealthy as what he was doing before. The show treats it as a positive good that Prompto appears to be starving himself and thinking obsessively about losing weight, and that is what I am taking issue with.
I, personally, detest the “formerly fat” trope and all its incarnations. Wouldn’t it simply have been enough to say that Prompto was painfully shy (he was) and very lonely (he was)? Why do these feelings have to be justified via his body? Was there no other way you could justify Prompto simply being too shy to talk to Noct? Noct’s the prince, Prompto is a commoner who feels that he’s nothing particularly special…would this not have been enough? Doing it the way that they did implies that being fat is a moral and character flaw that needs to be corrected in order for you to be seen as a hero. That is what I am taking issue with.
And yes, I realize that the “weight loss journey” is jump-started by the fact that babby Noct says “heavy…” when trying to help Prompto to his feet. Believe me, I understand first-hand how much that hurts. I faced many similar instances in my own life. I can’t blame him for saying it, he’s a kid, but I do want to point out that Noct never apologizes for this. You could say “he didn’t realize he was wrong” but maybe you could have had a scene where Noct wonders why the cute boy with the camera is avoiding him, and Ignis can say something like “well, did you do or say anything that might have upset him?” and Noct can actually apologize for hurting Prompto’s feelings. This is not unreasonable to expect. When I was a kid and people were avoiding me, my mom always asked me to think back on why that might be. It’s part of growing up and learning that your words and actions have consequences.
TO BE FAIR: I do think the motel scene was an attempt to rectify all of this in the game. While Prompto formerly being fat is not explicitly mentioned, he is mortified that Noct remembers him back in elementary school. Now, I love Noct, but he’s stupid sometimes, and not very intuitive. This is, however, in his character, and I will allow it because the very next thing he says is “You should have said something sooner.” This shows Prompto (and the audience) that Noct doesn’t give two shits about how Prompto looks, now or ever, and I am happy that this was included. However, there is no given reason behind why Noct couldn’t simply talk to Prompto himself beforehand. Like I said, Noct is an idiot, and also a lot more shy and awkward than he lets on. But this moment was sweet between them, even if you don’t ship promptis, and I do think it is fair to mention it.
However, coupling all of this with the fact that the “character sheets” show us that Prompto does, canonically, have a fear of gaining weight, as well as these little snippets of dialogue…
Prompto: Hey, let’s hit up the Crow’s Nest!
Ignis: If you wish to put on weight? Certainly.
Prompto: *sighs* Yeah, I know…
(I swear to god every time I get this dialogue I SCREAM at Ignis, how is this even remotely okay to say to your friend who you damn well know has problems with his weight and there’s no way you don’t know this--)
EDIT: The addition of this quote is based on the tags from @gentiuna, I knew I was forgetting something!
Noct: Why is your face so fat?
Prompto: I’m NOT fat!!
(I swear to Jesus you’re on thin fucking ice with me Noct, that’s not even remotely funny and you need a time out to think about what you’ve done--)
This one I have only gotten once in my ~400 hrs of play but I swear I didn’t make it up; if anyone finds the specific words, I will correct it:
Ignis: talks about food and how it’s “anything your heart wants” or something
Prompto: Yeah, it’s the wanting that’s the problem.
I think this was intended to be a nod to Brotherhood but (and @bernielu can back me up on this) I SCREAMED when I heard it. How is that REMOTELY okay? Nobody even REACTS to this, or asks if Prompto is okay, or ask him why the FUCK he would say that.
This is when it becomes pertinent, I think, to discuss my own experience with eating disorders. I have wonderful friends and family, and I’m well on the road to recovery, but back when I was in high school, I just straight up wouldn’t bring food to lunch. Retroactively, I realize they all brought extra, hoping I would get just hungry enough to pick at the scraps (I usually did), and that was their way of helping me and showing me that they cared. It can be hard to want food sometimes. As offensive as I find its inclusion, I do think that’s an accurate way of representing how it can feel: you know that food is good, and you know that you are hungry, but it’s wanting to eat it that’s a problem. Here’s my issue: that should have raised everyone’s red flags, and the fact that nobody, NOT EVEN NOCT, WHO WE CAN EXPECT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS, says ANYTHING about this, and the game writes it off as another one of its Infamous Banters ™….it’s not looking great. It’s not looking like representation, to me. It’s looking like erasure and fatphobia.
Babby Prompto is supposed to be viewed with pity but also, I think, with disdain: by the audience and by Prompto himself. I’ve noticed in many fics that the fans like to almost romanticize this aspect of him, and explore that he has an eating disorder which is…I don’t’ like it because most of these fics come to the same conclusion: Prompto ends up skinny anyway and it’s just a quirk about him. This is what I meant when I said that I feel this is overexploited, earlier in the essay, but also underdeveloped in the sense that they basically, in my opinion, show this as something that Prompto had to “get over” to be a real protagonist. They don’t go into how fucked up Prompto’s psyche must be from this. It’s just kinda…ignored.
UPDATE 22-4-2018: I’ve got to get this off my chest, the new “Official Works Profile” for Prompto made all of this worse. It literally outright states that, after rescuing Pryna, Prompto “decided “to become the right sort of person for a Prince” and worked to change himself. It also refers to Prompto having a “pudgy youth” as if that were a bad thing. It also says “Incidentally, Prompto’s photography hobby developed when he was dieting and took photos to record his weight loss progress.” Not gonna lie, this one made me physically ill. There was literally no reason for that other than to imply that being fat is somehow immoral. Why is Prompto’s “personal resolve” equated to losing weight? Why couldn’t it simply have been to be more outgoing? I’m fucking ANGRY, I’m done being polite about this.
My solution, then? Well, one of two things: 1) don’t make Prompto fat to justify his bad childhood if you know you’re just gonna make him thin and completely ignore that he was ever different, which is my preferred solution, or 2) have at least one character be bigger and that’s just how they are and it’s not made into a plot point or anything.
A final note: I KNOW people can and do drop tremendous amounts of weight, and I want to be clear that I am not suggesting this is bad or that people shouldn’t do it. A person’s weight and their relationship to it is their own business, and as long as people have a healthy relationship with their body, I’m not one to judge. I know that we are supposed to see Prompto’s weight loss as heroic and a strong example of his dedication to Noctis. And sure, we get that. But maybe I have convinced you that the development we get comes at the cost of fatphobia, at least in terms of how it was portrayed here.
TL;DR: Prompto didn’t need to be fat to develop his character, and its inclusion and treatment in the narrative of Brotherhood suggest an uncomfortable degree of fatphobia.
If you stuck around for the whole thing, thank you so much for reading my thoughts. It’s something that has been bubbling up in me for months, and now I am finally able to put it in words. <3
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A Crossroad (29.08.21)
I’m running out of title to put lmao. Whatever it’s me again. It feels like so much and so little has changed the last couple of months. I’ve been having insomnia so bad the last couple of weeks. I was so full of energy. it felt like the world was not running fast enough for my brain. I couldn’t sleep until 2-3 am and woke up the next day so anxious. The ideas just couldn’t stop running into my head. Was that my manic episode?
I thought a lot about this and that. It began to form a more vivid picture. I hate this part so much about myself. When I think too much, I ended up not doing anything. I could feel it spiritually that If I don’t take some actions this September, those ideas mean nothing.
At work, a few collogues just resigned. I asked for a raise and approved. It’s less than I expected but whatever. It feels like a crossroad. The department will be so different when going back to the office. But for better or for the worse, I’m not sure yet.
The decision of me to resign at the end of this year still stands. I keep it maybe as a deadline. It feels like the end of an era. I hope I’d change my mind by the end of the year, but It’s got to be some really valid reason. I just hope I’d do some worthy work for the last few months of this year. I hope I’d leave behind something worth remembering of.
I’m really glad I started those sharing session and Tik Tok thingy at work. They won’t mean so much but it gave a little more confidence to do something else. I hope I’d keep that optimism and confidence long enough.
oh my god, I realize I have nothing to mention about school anymore since I’ve done with university. yeah, this is the moment I’ve been waiting for so long. Now, it’s a different kind of challenge. I never would have thought I have the urge to do master degree, but here I am. I just want to escape this country to be honest. The pressure is real too. But deep down, I don’t have plan to do it now though, maybe a next couple of years.
To be honest, I really have some big work to do on myself mentally. The trigger whenever I see anyone success is scary and dangerous. It triggers the coward part and insecurity part of me.
ooh, and the thing that I’ve mentioned about ideas that were coming to me? It was random actually. From work to personal work... I somehow feel like it’s a curse to talk about it before the urge to do it. Maybe I’d update later.
Maybe I need the energy of the 2016 me back somehow. You know, the energy to dive into something without overthinking every step. I ended up doing more planning out everything and doing nothing. I need a balance of that.
Yeah, nothing much going on. Hope I’d have some good news to update next time...
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Showing Off Isn’t Phenomenal P.4
Pairing: AJ Styles x reader, the New Day, Shane, the Riot Squad, Dolph Ziggler, Nattie, Baron Corbin
warning: the usual cussing, name calling, an ex being a lying cheating bitch, if i miss anything let me know
A/n: I’m thinking of ending this in one or two more parts. I didn’t use a name for AJ’s ex wife in this because I want to show no disrespect to his wife
Tag list: @ladyjayelehnsherr @emma3652 @ianandrewhecox
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
It had been months since the Riot Squad took you out of action. AJ did visit you at least once a month until about a month ago. You started really training to make you in ring return and you knew you wouldn’t be able to get much of it done with AJ around, which you told him so he wouldn’t worry too much about you.
You walked into the arena for Smack Down Live with your head held high and a huge smile on your face. No one knew when you were returning so when the New Day saw you they all flipped. It felt like being around the family that you wanted to be around again.
“How’s the shoulder?”
“Great, it’s great. Feels like I never got hurt.” Your smile couldn’t get any wider or so you thought.
“We missed you.” Kofi gave you a side hug as he spoke. “You should do an episode of UpUpDownDown.”
“I don’t know guys, I don’t really do Madden even though AJ tried to get me to play a couple months ago.” All three of them raised an eyebrow and looked at each other with huge smiles on their faces.
“So what’s going on between you and Styles?” Xavier wiggled his eyebrow at you.
“What me and AJ have is between AJ and I. Now if y’all don’t mind, I have a return to prepare for.” With that you walked away from the three men and towards the locker room. You made sure not everyone say you as you walked, bags in tow.
Shane found you while you were walking and told you that you were given a locker room by yourself so your return wouldn’t be spoiled. This you were thankful for. You knew tonight was going to be amazing but you didn’t know to what extent.
You made it to your locker room, smiling to yourself. It felt good to be back and you couldn’t wait to get back into the ring. Becky, Charlotte and Naomi were still feuding with the Riot Squad and you knew that two of your friends were going to get knocked out resulting in your return.
Grabbing your ring gear, you change. You found an AJ Styles zip up sweater in your gear bag and you couldn’t help but smile, it wasn’t your size but it was AJ’s which you didn’t mind.
For tonight’s show, you were wearing black ripped jean, a cut up Smack Down Live shirt that covered the faint scar on your left shoulder, and your signature fingerless gloves. You slipped on AJ’s sweater and walked out of you locker room with the hood up.
You stepped into the Creative room where you learned that were going to have a mixed tag match tonight, teaming with AJ to face Nattie and Dolph. Since you were out, Dolph and AJ had been feuding and shit was getting personal. Only recently you were dragged in thanks to Dolph bad mouthing you during promos. This added fuel to the fire and you were getting excited for the match.
You stood by gorilla and watched the monitor watching Becky, Charlotte and Naomi get attacked by the Riot Squad. The moment they tossed Becky out of the ring next to Charlotte and Naomi you knew it was your queue. You slipped off your sweater, tossing it on one of the chairs, and waited for the lights to go off. You ran to the ring and stood in the center before throwing Liv and Sarah out. The moment the lights turned back on, you faced Ruby with a smirk on your face. The crowd went wild the moment they realized it was you.
“I’m back!”
You kicked Ruby in the stomach and lifted her up on your shoulders, it looked like you were about to give her an AA but instead you twisted her body forward and slammed her body face down into the mat as your ass hit it. Twisting around onto your knees, you looked at your girls with a huge smile on your face.
All three women climbed back into the ring and you all shared a hug. The crowd cheering for all four of you. You couldn’t have made a bigger splash coming back until your match later. Your music played as all four of you made your way up the ramp and behind the curtain. The second you stepped through, you looked for your sweater but couldn’t find it.
“Where’s my sweater? It was literally right here.” You looked around the room before your eyes landed on AJ holding your sweater. Without a second thought you ran over to him, leaping into his arms.
“That was amazing darlin.” His voice was as smooth as ever. “I was wondering when you were coming back.”
“Thanks, it felt amazing.” He set you down on your feet as you looked up at him. “I had to keep it a surprise, even from you.” You poked him softly which caused him to chuckle.
“I think everyone was surprised.” He let you go and everyone walked out of the gorilla position. You walked right into a wall of muscle which almost caused you to fall backward.
“It’s good to see you back.” You looked up and saw Baron standing there with a smile on his face. You gave him a quick hug which he gladly accepted.
“It’s good to be back.” You look over and see AJ talking with a woman. From the looks of it, it was his ex-wife. “Hey, I have a match to prepare for. Will you let AJ know I’ll be in my locker?”
“Yeah, I will” With that, you walked towards your locker.
The next thing you know, you get shoved to the ground from behind. You knew from the feel of it, it was a female. You rolled over to see who shoved you and you saw AJ’s ex.
“You’re the reason I lost my husband, you bitch.” She tried to hit you but your arms instinctively went to your face. You did manage to kick her off you. “If it wasn’t for you, he’d still be with me and not some whore like you.” That was it, that was all you were going to take.
“I’m a whore?” You tilted your head to the side with a sick smirk on your face as you stood up from the ground. “I’m not the one who cheated on him with another guy. I’m not the one who told him it was over.” You weren’t going to back down from her.
“We’ve been sleeping together for the past month and he even sent me text messages saying he was willing to come home with me.”
“Oh really? Show me these texts. Come on, show them.”
“Why should I show them to a whore like you?” Her voice filled with venom. “You’re nothing but a fuck toy that he wanted to play with.” She had the gull to slap you but you stood there as if nothing happened.
“You’re words mean absolutely nothing to me. If you can’t show me the texts that AJ sent you that means they aren’t real.” You crossed your arms over your chest. Out of the corner of your eye you could see AJ and some of the other superstars standing in awe. “I’ve been through this shit before, sweetheart. Threatening me with fake texts so I would leave him is a tactic that I’ve seen before, more than once. I’ve been cheated on before, I know what goes through their sick minds when trying to guilt someone into giving them what they want.” You slowly took a step forward which caused her to step back with wide eyes.
“I, I’m not lying.” You could hear fear in her voice.
“Oh sweetheart, I’m not going to hurt you.” Your voice sounded sweet as you spoke. “I know you’re lying. AJ was faithful to you from the start.” She looked almost defeated but you knew she had some fight left in her. “Oh you know that birthday gift he gave you last year, well if I hadn’t pointed him in the right direction he wouldn’t have figured out what to do.” Shock was eminent on her face. You put your hands behind your back as you stepped closer to her and leaned in. “So before you make an even bigger fool out of your lying cheating sorry excuse of a female ass, I suggest you go before security hauls you out.”
She gulped before she started walking away, not even looking back once. You released the breath that you didn’t know you were holding. Just as you felt yourself relax, you felt a strong pair of arms wrap around you.
“Have I told you just how much I love you?” You relaxed into AJ’s arms with a smile.
“Not lately.” You twisted in his arms, now facing him. You wrap your arms around his thick waist. “Besides, we have a match to get ready for.” You felt him kiss the top of your head. “Um, AJ?” He hummed in response. “Where is your title belt?”
“It’s in my locker room.” He looked down at you almost confused.
“We had a deal, did we not? Champ?” You smirked at him before pulling yourself from him. “I have to change my shirt for our match.” You blew him a kiss as you nabbed your sweater and walked away with a huge smile and confidence going through the roof.
You changed your shirt from the Smack Down live shirt to an AJ Styles shirt. Some part of you knew it would affect Dolph but it didn’t bother that it was going to.
Stepping out of your locker room, you made your way to the gorilla position. Nattie and Dolph had already made their way to the ring and now it was time for you and AJ. Shane was there and informed you both that you were going to go out to AJ’s music, you couldn’t help but smirk and blush slightly. You had to wait for Dolph to shit talk you.
The moment AJ’s music started, AJ walked out and did his usual entrance. Once he stood up, he held his hands up signaling one moment. That was your queue to step through the curtain. His hand out stretched towards you, which you gladly took. At that moment the crowd went crazy and you couldn’t help but place a kiss on AJ’s cheek.
Stepping through the ropes, you watched as AJ did his thing with his title around his waist and you hopped up on the second turn buckle and lifted your arms to point at the crowd like you always did. As you hopped down, AJ pulled you into a hug which made you smile even more.
As the match went on AJ had control. That was until Dolph tagged Nattie in. She tried to be all big and bad like she has been with Charlotte but you weren’t going to let her get into your head. AJ tagged you in, you stepped into the ring and launched yourself at her.
You hit her with several elbows to the side of her head as she was down before you heard the ref get to the count of four. Standing up, you looked over at Dolph as you walked around Nattie. Without thinking twice, you twisted and hit Dolph with a hard elbow. You moved to the other side of the ring before Dolph could grab at you.
You went to grab Nat but she decided to through you into the ring post, shoulder first. Pain hit but it was as bad as it was months ago. Luckily you were thrown into your corner. You instantly tagged AJ back in before rolling out clutching onto your shoulder. A medic was at your side to see if you were able to continue and you told him you were.
Managing to stand up, you saw AJ hit Dolph with the Phenomenal Forearm followed up by the Styles Clash. You managed to keep Nattie from breaking up the pin by tackling her on the other side of the ring. The instant the bell rang, you nearly tackled AJ as he stood up. The crowd was on their feet as you both raised each other’s hand in the air.
You pulled him into a hug just before you placed your lips to his which caused the crowd to go even crazier. When you pulled away you couldn’t keep the smile off your face. Stepping through the ropes, AJ helped you off the apron and you walked hand in hand back up the ramp.
The moment you both stepped through the curtain to the backstage, you turned to AJ with a wicked smile. Before he knew what happened, grabbed his title from his hands and took off down the hall.
“IF YOU WANT IT BACK, COME CATCH ME!”
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Garrett Marcantel’s ‘12th Date Of Christmas’ Is Here, And What He’s Learned Is To Live Without Labels
New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/garrett-marcantels-12th-date-of-christmas-is-here-and-what-hes-learned-is-to-live-without-labels/
Garrett Marcantel’s ‘12th Date Of Christmas’ Is Here, And What He’s Learned Is To Live Without Labels
Garrett Marcantel appears in HBO Max’s 12 Dates of Christmas and is a real estate agent in New York … [] City.
Subscribers to HBO Max receive an early holiday present to open and binge tonight: the final three episodes of the reality rom-com series 12 Dates of Christmas.
Jilly Pearce, executive vice president of the production company, Objective Media, told Deadline this time last year that 12 Dates of Christmas would be a “romantic, fun and feel-good dating show, with a difference.” That difference is Garrett Marcantel, a gay man set on a mission to find love in a faraway fantasy setting.
Producers plucked Marcantel and two other attractive young singles from their lives in the U.S. and placed them in an Austrian winter wonderland.
It’s reality TV, but the stars of this show aren’t secluded in a rose-festooned California mansion, stranded on a tropical Pacific island or trapped on a TV studio backlot; An actual castle is the playground for these hopeless romantics looking for that special someone to bring home for the holidays.
For those new to the series, which dropped on Thanksgiving, Marcantel, Faith Fernandez and Chad Savage met for the first time in episode one inside the castle’s huge banquet hall, crowded with Christmas trees.
From left to right, Garrett Marcantel, Faith Fernandez and Chad Savage meet in the castle on the … [] series premiere of 12 Dates of Christmas, titled, “Meet, Sleigh, Love.”
Fernandez and Savage are straight, and over the series’ run, each of the three reality stars meet potential partners on festive dates that send them ice skating, on sleigh rides, hosting ugly sweater parties, après-ski activities and enjoying hot toddies after a fun day in the snow. And of course, since this is reality TV, there are “twists and turns.”
“This was a huge learning process for me,” Marcantel, 29, said in a phone interview. The Louisiana native is a New York City-based real estate agent and developer who came out five years ago. It’s an historic bit of casting, believed to be the first time that a gay lead stars in a mainstream dating competition on a major network or streaming service. But Marcantel said he had no idea what he was in for, until nearly the last minute.
Garrett Marcantel on 12 Dates of Christmas.
“I found out that I was a lead just before arriving to the castle,” he said. “I was thrown into a situation where it really tested my character, and what I thought I would want in a relationship with another person.”
Marcantel said he likes to be open minded when it comes to opportunities, even this one.
“When I was asked to be on the show, I thought that it could be a really unique opportunity to potentially capture a love story that could be cherished and shared, even when I am an old person.”
Without giving away any spoilers, Marcantel said meeting his reality co-stars while shooting the first episode burst his “gay bubble.”
“Meeting Faith and Chad was kind of an introduction back into the straight community,” said Marcantel, who’s been living in New York City the last five years. “I pretty much lived in a gay bubble. I was excited to see how straights date, to be honest. It was quite entertaining to see Chad get so excited with every single girl that was introduced to him, and then to see Faith’s love journey. She really fought to to keep a special connection that she found in the castle.”
From left to right, Garrett Marcantel, Faith Fernandez, Chad Savage of 12 Dates of Christmas.
Prior to coming out in 2015, Marcantel studied natural resource management and geology while attending college in Salt Lake City, Utah, a progressive city which he called “a place of refuge” to help him figure out his sexualtity.
Growing up Roman Catholic in Lake Charles, a very conservative, industrial town on Louisiana’s Gulf coast, was arduous for Marcantel, he said. His ancestors settled the state back in the 1700s, so both faith and tradition were drilled into him from an early age. But something else was on his mind: boys.
“I knew I was gay since I was, I think like nine or 10 years old. I was really young,” said Marcantel. ”The hard thing was, I didn’t have any anyone to talk with about this; There just weren’t any resources. Being a kid in the ‘90s in Louisiana, I was all alone.” He battled depression throughout his childhood, he said, and got away first chance he could, upon graduating high school.
“I just wanted freedom; just to feel free,” he said. “And the only place that I really felt that was in nature. So, I chose the University of Utah because it was right in the heart of the mountains, and I could ski. I just really kind of wanted to be in a place that was completely different than Louisiana.”
Garrett Marcantel
The scenery had changed, but Marcantel hadn’t. He struggled resolving his desires with his upbringing and was confused by the young men he dated, who were members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
“My time in Salt Lake was more or less a battle for me, and I was also going through that with these Mormon boys as well,” he said. “It was this confusing, difficult road and I was intimidated by some of the members of our community that were out and living their best life, because it was also against the the way that I was taught. That time was more or less a war, as I wrestled with the question: ‘Am I truly going to get to a place of freedom?’ I did not know how to get there, so that was a very difficult time.”
Following college, Marcantel “stuck to the nature route,” working as a park ranger in a cave system and in Yellowstone National Park as well as in the Grand Canyon area.
That certainly was different from where he was raised along the Gulf of Mexico, but nothing could be more different than where he landed next.
“New York, it’s in my blood, and I don’t think I could ever leave now that I’m in New York,” said Marcantel. “New York was the place that I say really allowed me to be me, for the first time. I lived in Bushwick, Brooklyn. It’s a very open, artistic neighborhood.
Although he dated in Utah, Marcantel was not out until he moved to New York City five years ago. “In my first year in New York, I started going on dates and I realized that at point, if I wanted to fall in love with someone, then I needed, I owed it to myself, to come out to my family.
The openness of the LGBTQ community helped guide him to a place he described as “sexual freedom.”
“I had enough confidence that I was able to make the trek back down to Louisiana and finally be honest with my family about my experience,” he said. Their initial reaction was shock, “And there were tears involved.”
His mother had the hardest time, and asked him to be patient with her. “She was on a new path that she didn’t necessarily see me on; she had a vision of me marrying a woman and having a traditional life,” said Marcantel. “It was kind of like a death had occurred and and she just had to process it.” Ultimately, he said his mother did just that, and embraced him.
One of the still uncharted journeys for many in the LGBTQ community is something Marcantel said he is “comfortable with:” dating people who identify as transgender.
That isn’t something that came up on 12 Dates of Christmas, or on any reality dating series, so far. But Marcantel said he’s no stranger to the trans community and is open to dating trans people.
“It’s a personal experience I had, and it showed me that I’m also on the spectrum of fluidity,” he said. “I think people love labels and stereotypes. And I think that we as humans are much more complex than what those stereotypes and labels are, the ones that get put on us.”
Marcantel told this story that raised his awareness of who he is, and his own feelings:
“My one crush on a girl in high school in Louisiana was from my cross-country team. We went to a couple of school dances. She actually fully transitioned to a man after college. When I heard of his transition I wanted to reach out and congratulate him. It was then to my surprise that, yes I was still physically attracted to them, and even more so than I was in high school. He seemed very happy, and had a boyfriend, so I left it at the congratulations.
“That showed me, though, that I physically wasn’t opposed to the option of dating someone trans. We did have a special unspoken connection when we were younger, as we were both in the closet. We never spoke about it, since we were living in such a conservative environment, but this experience made me feel more comfortable with the idea of dating trans in the future.”
Who will Marcantel wind up bringing home to Louisiana? The series 12 Dates of Christmas is now streaming on HBO Max.
Garrett Marcantel on a date in 12 Dates of Christmas on HBO Max.
From Diversity & Inclusion in Perfectirishgifts
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On Love: Anxiety (A Yuuri Katsuki Analysis)
The thing about Yuuri is that he's such a relatable character to me. Even more so now that he's in a relationship with Victor, so I can honestly say that YOI is the anime that I've always needed.
Because:
Yuuri has anxiety.
Yuuri is in a relationship.
Yuuri is in a relationship with someone he thinks is too good for him.
Yuuri has a low opinion of himself.
Yuuri is an unreliable narrator.
Yuuri hates losing.
...and etc.
These are all things that I can relate to! So, forgive me, but I absolutely hate how this anime ended. And although I loathed Episode 12 to death, the ending of Episode 11 was something I didn't expect and yet it was something I didn't know I needed — mainly because Yuuri’s anxiety reared its ugly head in a way that I am all too familiar with.
[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki clenching his fists in an attempt to gather up the courage to ruin his own life for Victor's sake]
i.e. Cutting your own losses before you lose them.
So from the perspective of someone who also has low self-esteem and is in a relationship with someone who I think deserves much better, here's why I believe Episode 11 was necessary in a way that Episode 12 did not give justice to. Here we go!
You see, I have this tiny theory here about what Yuuri was thinking when he said those words that ultimately broke everybody's hearts. Everybody's been talking about it since the episode aired. But here I am, regardless, because I need to deposit these two cents of mine even though the account is already positively overflowing.
There's this belief I have, and I have no idea if this is just something that I have because I've been raised with an Oriental mindset or something specific to just me, but I'm afraid of being too happy. I believe I can only achieve a particular level of happiness; if I experience more happiness that I deserve, bad things happen. If I have too much, you bet your ass at least some of that will get taken away.
There needs to be balance in this world, or so I and many others believe — there is no shadow without light, and the moon has no meaning if she is not opposite the sun. Suffering and happiness? They go hand in hand. And in the same vein, there is no success without strife — and that's widely preached. But the opposite is also true; because there is no strife without success, and I'm willing to bet my non-existent balls that Yuuri and Victor are kind of the epitome of the latter.
[Pictured: Victor Nikiforov before he met Yuuri Katsuki, i.e. incredibly lonely and trusting only a dog for providing him constant companionship]
And while Victor's end of the spectrum — his gold medals were the fruits of labor that his loss to life and love bore — were given their high-key focus in Episode 10, Yuuri's end of the spectrum was a low-key theme throughout the entire series. Yuuri's talents were paid with leaving his hometown and family to pursue an incredibly unconventional career choice, having the press hound him for every anxiety attack that he can't control, and bearing that enormous pressure of representing his entire nation on his shoulders — and his poor anxiety-ridden heart can't deal with that most of the time.
[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki's mouth giving an involuntary wobble before he forces himself to smile for his parents' sake, also known as a frame that deserves more attention]
There's a stereotype for Asian parents: that if their child gets less than an A, it's a failure. It's a joke most of the time; for Yuuri, he applies that to his entire career as a competitive figure skater. Add the fact that he's representing the whole of Japan for one of the highest titles a figure skater can get, and the anxiety he's developed over the years, and you get a bundle of nerves on the best days — complete breakdowns at the worst.
Plus his dog died just days before, or maybe even during, one of the most important competitions in his life.
Oh, and he is an unbelievably sore loser.
[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki in that infamous shot of him breaking down in the bathroom; note that he only lets himself cry when he thinks that there is nobody around to see him]
And he's probably thinking i could have done better and he's probably thinking i guess i really should retire, but I propose that he's also thinking this is payment for all the other competitions i've won, isn't it? That he's thinking, this is payment for all the hardships i've put on everyone else. That he's thinking, oh well, i guess i deserve this after all.
It's like all the little bad things he's done over the years have finally come back to haunt him in one big smack of karmic retribution, right after the cruelties of fate have already given him a taste of what it felt like to be part of the winning team. Because don't tell me that Yuuri didn't feel this sense of pride, of fulfillment, of complete and utter joy when he was assigned to the GP Series and qualified for the Finals. That he didn't feel happy when he got the chance to train, abroad, with an actual coach and an actual rink despite just coming from small, seaside Hasetsu. That he didn't arrive at Detroit, wide-eyed and nervous but so young and hopeful, knowing that he was the JSF's certified top skater.
Then he lost at the GPF and he probably felt like all of that went moot. That all of a sudden, all his medals and trophies and successes didn't mean anything anymore. There's a reason why Minami was introduced, after all: to bring home the point that while Yuuri thinks he's an average skater, it doesn't mean that it's necessarily true.
It's further cemented by the fact that, when Minami says that his costume was inspired by one of Yuuri's older ones, he's mortified as he shrieks, "That's a costume from my dark past!"
Minami, bless him, talks back and says that Yuuri doesn't have a dark past to speak of. He's the actual cinnamon roll of YOI, guys. Imagine how happy he was when he cheered for Yuuri in the GPF in Yuuri's own house and saw, in person, all the trophies that Yuuri had been keeping in the background — and the fact that Yuuri even keeps them in the background speaks so much of his lack of self-worth that it deserves its own meta.
[Pictured: Kenjiro Minami, tears in his eyes as he screams out at his idol: You don't have a dark past! Don't make fun of me for looking up to you for so long and trying to catch up with you! — breaking our hearts in the process]
So, basically: if Yuuri had given all he had with skating, was rewarded with triumphs and successes only to feel like that had all been taken away when he was dead last at the GPF (and not to mention, he probably feels like all of this was justified); why wouldn't he feel that way about Victor?
Because Victor makes him happy. So happy, in fact, that his skating and confidence levels have reinvented themselves as a response to Victor's presence in Yuuri's personal life. Why wouldn't he think that Victor was too good to be true? Why wouldn't he be scared that the cruelties of fate would, once again, take away his source of happiness in a twisted form of giving balance to the world?
So he comes up with defense mechanisms. He blabbers in metaphor and dabbles in double-meanings (Episodes 1-3) and he feels so relieved that Victor seems to accept that it's just the way he prefers to express himself (Episode 4). But then he keeps falling and falling and he gathers up the courage to be more accepting of his past because of Victor (Episode 5), to be more bold for Victor (Episode 6), to be more couple-y with Victor. (Episode 8)
And ordinarily, that would be a good thing right? He's growing up! There's character development! He has more confidence now!
But YOI, god bless YOI, shows that anxiety doesn't just go away. It comes back to haunt you and when you're at your weakest, it strikes. This is best exemplified in Episodes 7 and 9, where it's glaringly obvious — but in Episode 11, it takes some understanding of the previous episodes to know that the entirety of the drama comes from Yuuri simply being an unreliable narrator again than from any actual basis.
[Pictured: Two similar shots of Yuuri Katsuki from Episode 4 and Episode 11 respectively — the former, a happy blush as he prays give me Victor's time, if only just for now; the latter, horror dawns as Yuuri comes to the conclusion that Victor wants to go back to the ice and that their time together is ending]
Because Yuuri is the epitome of unreliable narrator, and Episode 10 was the ultimate peak of the mountain that YOI has been building from the very first episode — in an anime that opens with the self-deprecating protagonist reading articles about his loss, which is intentionally and deliberately set up to overshadow the fact that despite his loss he's still competing in one of the biggest competitions in the figure skating world.
The other thing that YOI has chosen to keep from us until Episode 10 was that despite the entire world being clamorous for him to go back to the ice, Victor actually . . . doesn't want to do that at all. He literally calls it a shackle on his neck. He waxes poetic about the life and love that Yuuri has given him, that he has neglected for so long. He gets kicked in the back and declared as dead by Yurio, and the most he does is mockingly crouch down and ask, did you want to compete against me?
Having Episode 10 come right before the massive fuck-up in Episode 11 was both an explanation and a warning: yeah, yuuri did all that and victor fell in love with him first. now remember how different things looked back in episode 1. because we're gonna go back to that in the next episode and y'all need to know what's real and what's just what yuuri assumes.
And the thing about Episode 10 is that it triggers this impulse to rewatch the entire series from Victor's perspective and contrast that to how different we saw it when it was just Yuuri's perspective we knew about. Doing that brings more impact to Episode 11, I think — which also highlights that despite Yurio found a friend, he still has some humility to learn and his arc isn't finished yet just because he managed to perfect Agape. While I do think he was being too mean (to a point that I considered it OOC, after Episodes 9 and 10), that's a different post altogether.
[Pictured: Celestino Cialdini comforts a sullen Yuuri Katsuki during the Sochi GPF; comes with Yuuri's monologue of I could never openly say that I'd win gold, but I never skated with the thought in my mind that I'd lose anyway]
I think that the way that Yuuri reflects to himself during his FS in Episode 9 echoes how he feels toward Victor. That despite never really admitting out loud that he wanted a gold, he never actually believed he would ever lose either — Yuuri let himself stay stagnant while tiptoeing between having the potential to be a winner and actually being one. In the same vein, Yuuri found himself walking that same fine line between being Victor's future and being Victor's has-been; someone between everything and something, but never actually nothing.
Yuuri let his anxiety get the better of him and he decided that being Victor's past would be best outcome he could ever hope to get. The events of Episode 11 have led him to believe that he would never be Victor's future; or at least, he would never be the future that Victor actually wants. And in Yuuri's twisted justifications, it would be a good thing that they would end their relationship after the GPF; it gives Victor the freedom to do whatever he wants and it gives the Yuuri the relief of not having delved deeper into the idea of them being an actual concrete relationship.
[Pictured: Victor Nikiforov, part of a newly discovered evolved species of humans called homo superior]
Except Victor, unlike Yuuri, has already considered the prospects of having a relationship without a time stamp and jumped right into it. Victor has already established in Episode 10 that he wants Yuuri, and that he would definitely choose a life without competitive skating specifically because it meant getting the love of a lifetime. Screw the consequences, he's getting what he wants and he will put every fiber of his being into nurturing this relationship that gives him all of the happiness that he never thought he could have.
He just never verbalized it. So while Victor gets the concrete proof that Yuuri wants him in the form of giving him the rings (although he does so in a way that implies he doesn't want to admit it), Yuuri doesn't.
[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki, in doubt of where Victor's happiness truly lies: in a life with skating or a life without it]
Yuuri gets soft and sweet and cuddly Victor and it's enough to make Yuuri hope but it's not enough to help Yuuri understand that Victor truly wants him — how much Yuuri changed him. He knows the Victor that is, as Minako says in Episode 1, free with his charms and winks at the cameras and is touchy-feely with a man he just met; a Victor who was bored and had an impulse decision to coach him and ended up liking him. But the viewers get more insight into who Victor really was before he met Yuuri, who was sad and lonely and hollow — a Victor that fell in love with the boy with the drunken flamenco dance and was looking for an excuse to meet him again.
Victor, like anyone, wants happiness. Winning doesn't give him that anymore, but Yuuri does . . . even though he doesn't even grasp the true gravitas of the love they share.
[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki, in tears after an amazing Free Skate and the subsequent roar of triumph thereafter; a perfect representation of what we all felt in this scene]
Ultimately, what pissed me off about Episode 12 was that it seemed to betray its own protagonist. We had all the build-up to Yuuri winning gold and finally getting the concrete proof that Victor loves him back and that he is an incredible skater in his own right — because I wholeheartedly believe that the perfect ending to Yuri On Ice would be Yuuri getting gold and realizing that it doesn't matter. And for one moment he would look at all the people who have supported him endlessly and, instead of pushing them away in shame like he would have at the beginning of the show, he would thank them with a happy smile.
How Yuuri would learn not to equate his worth by his losses or wins was always a theme that I wanted the show to address in the Season 2 that I wanted to have, but for that to happen he had to win first in the S1 finale.
But he didn't, and the finale for one of the most popular animes of 2016 was done so cheap that it actually does render the entire anime into moot. So to say I'm disappointed? Yeah, well, that's kind of an understatement.
[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki with the wrong medal]
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